#if you want recovery info just let me know

[fairycosmos]

hi, just curious if you're able to answer this, what happened with becca? currently struggling with a sibling with addiction issues and wanted to get some perspective

she'd been on and off drugs experimentally/recreationally since she was like 17, but when the pandemic hit in 2020 she spiralled very quickly over the course of a few months into addiction which was worsened by her dating (and moving the guy into our house) another person struggling with severe addiction. we tried to kick him out when she got bad but they basically went out onto the streets together so we had to let them back in. to make a long story much shorter she was on a lot more shit than we realised, she choked in her sleep on aug 25 2020 and had a cardiac arrest. cpr didn't help, her shitty boyfriend didn't help, nothing helped. it was too late basically. all of this is messed up and blurry in my head so there's much more to it than that but that's the gist of it. in the weeks leading up i tried tirelessly to talk to her about it, mostly over text even though we were all living in the same house but in seperate rooms due to covid at the time. i would send her these big walls of text about how this wasn't right and how bad things were and she would agree but basically just mollify me, lie to me etc though i do believe that having those conversations was nessecary. just letting her know that i understand, that i'm here, that i know she's scared and in immense pain but that we can make small steps in the right direction together etc. while also being almost harsh and upfront about the harm she is causing and the way she was hurting herself and everyone around her. she had a doctor's appointment booked the week after she died to talk about the drugs and i do think she intended on going, but she was just such a mess. i don't have any concrete advice because it felt so hopeless at the time, talking to her was like talking to a brick wall. i was so fucking angry and upset about her situation and the way she was that it was hard to even interact with her sometimes. the spiral was so fast with her and that made it so difficult to guage what to do. but if you can continue talking to them on a human level, bringing up examples of their recent behaviour that has crossed the line, pushing for the idea of seeing a professional/local addiction resources or hotlines, then that's all you can do. i know how hard this is on you too and i know it is a special type of exhausting and endless hell to love an addict. all you can do is try your best not to facilliate the addiction while doing what you can to support getting them into recovery. there are a lot of addiction centers, support groups and hotlines that offer advice and support for loved ones - i would really encourage you to seek those out for more professional and exstensive guidance. i really hope they get clean eventually and i reall hope you're taking care of yourself and being kind with yourself throughout this whole thing. i'm really sorry it's happening to you, your sibling and your family. please know i'm here if you ever need a friend or someone to vent to about it. x

supporting someone with addiction / how to help an addict without enabling / helping someone who is misusing drugs or alcohol/ info about interventions / how to help a friend or family member with addiction / tips for supporting someone recovering from addiction/overcoming drug addiction

#anon #tw drugs #tw addiction #ask chloe #tw death

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

What to expect when you go in for top surgery.

Note that this is how it went for me specifically. I did my surgery through the Cleveland Clinic (main campus). If you want info on the Dr, PM me and I'll give you his info (highly recommend him). If you want info on how to get scheduled for top surgery/the recovery after the hospital/how I prepared for it just send an ask or PM me.

Without further ado, this is how it all went down for me the day of the surgery:

-arrive at hospital at 5am. Make sure you look up which building to go to before hand. Most places are big and kinda like a maze. Maps are your friends.

-wait in a long line to get all checked in then sit in the waiting area till you're called. I went with my mom. She held all my things for me. I wasn't allowed to take anything in with me.

-I went to a large room that had lots of beds all seperated by curtains. I was given a robe and a bag. I put all my clothes into the bag and put on the robe. Felt really weird cuz it opened in the back.

-had to pee in a cup too.

-once I was changed I sat on the bed and just relaxed. From there it was just a lot of waiting. They're gonna ask you you're name and date of birth more times then you can count. Every time they talk to you I swear.

-one nurse came in and gave me an IV in my hand. -10/10 review. I hated that IV. I didn't have any pain after my surgery except for the stupid IV. That thing felt like it was constantly pinching me and I couldn't do anything about it.

-no idea how long I sat there but it was really boring since I didn't have my phone. I wanna say it was between 30-60 minutes? They let my mom come in and talk to me a bit before it was time to wheel me away. They put me on a different bed and I got pushed through hallway after hallway after hallway. I wasn't kidding when I said this place was like a maze.

-sat outside the surgery room for a good long while too. Just laying in the bed. I was positioned at a wall and I just watched a janitor sweep for a while before they were finally ready for me.

-the operating room was bigger than I expected. Lots of stuff along the walls and a very skinny table in the center of the room. There were about 4 people in the room. The main Dr who I had all my prior appointments with introduced himself again and the everyone else in the room. One guy was the anesthesiologist who was in charge of making sure I was safe while they put me under. There was a student there who was there to watch and learn. She was very nice. And then an assistant I believe? I don't remember exactly.

-the Dr walked me through the surgery again, confirming everything we had discussed in my appointments. He also made some marks on my chest while I was sitting up to help him later when he needed to align stuff to make it look good. Asked if I had any questions.

-he asked if I was ready. I said yes. They put me under. I didn't feel the anesthetics. I kinda just... Blinked. And after that blink everyone was in a different spot and my chest felt tight. If you've ever worn a lifejacket that's nice and snug it was like that. I could breath fine, it was just tight.

-I couldn't really move right away with the exception of my head. I mostly just felt confused. Otherwise I was fine. The assistant asked how I felt and I said good. Then the Dr walked over and told me how everything went well. There was no issues. They asked if I had any questions again.

-the next part was kinda hard. I had to get back into the wheely bed so I could be moved. But you can't put up with your arms. So it was a weird sorta scoot over to from the table to the bed. Then I was wheeled away again.

-i went back to the large room with the curtains again where I was given shaved ice to eat. The said I'd have to wait there till they get an actual room open for me. I wasn't allowed to get out of the bed and the IV had to stay in till the next morning.

-at this point it was about 10am according to the clock in the room. I just sat there listening to all the monitors going. There were a lotta beds with a lotta noises. They had a blood pressure machine on my arm that would randomly squeeze to check my blood pressure throughout the day. I kinda just went in and outta sleep from there on.

-I wasn't in any pain. I was just very very very very tired. I talked to the nurses. After a while they gave me some crackers because it was taking a really long time to find me a room. I guess there was some sorta issue going on. It was only supposed to take a few hours but I ended up waiting till almost 5pm. Which really wasn't that bad since I was mostly just sleeping. It just sucked that I didn't have my phone.

-I also wasn't allowed to get up to use the restroom yet. I wasn't allowed up till I moved to an actual room. And I had to go really bad around 2pm. Ended up having to use on of those bed toilets. I had to pick my self up enough for them to slid it under me, and then move it afterwards. Not a fun experience, but not as terrible as you think.

-they finally secured the room and wheeled me away. Once in the room I had to do that weird scoot again to get onto the new bed. This bed had a remote that let me rise and lower it, along with a TV with cable. I had a little table that came over the bed so I could eat. It was very nice.

-my mom was finally allowed in and her, the nurse, and I all talked about what was next. I got a water bottle with straw to drink. And after that I was given applesauce. Since I successfully got all that down they let my mom go buy me some real food and I got to eat dinner.

-I had to spend the night at the hospital with my mom picking me up in the morning. If I needed to use the bathroom I had to call for a nurse. They'd help me get to the bathroom. I had to go in what was called a "hat." Which is basically just a plastic bowl they put in the toilet bowl to catch everything. They have to check your urine for stuff. It's just like using the bathroom normally you just don't flush.

-after a while my mom left to go home. I played on my phone and watched TV. The IV was the only thing that was frustrating. It hurt my hand and makes you have to pee a LOT. Expect to make lots of trips.

-in the morning the assistant and student came in to see how I was doing. They undid the bandages to make sure it was all good. Then redid it.

-I finally got the IV out of my hand!!!!

-my mom showed up and we got some paperwork.

-they put me in a wheelchair and I rode that to the car.

-went home for the rest of my recovery.

#long post #top surgery #not discourse #transgender #transman #what to expect #useful #reference information #if you want recovery info just let me know

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my mom cry (in the hopes of continuing a years (?) long lie)

starting off: BIG SHINY ED TW

Context/Background:

• I’ve had an ED (OSFED) since I was 14

• I went to treatment (forced) as a teen. I hold zero anger over this by now and understand why my parents did it. I would have done the same.

• Both times I coasted until discharge, at which point I went back to ED behaviors, just more secretively.

• I’m now 22(F), living w my parents

—

The Lead Up to The Predicament:

• Relapsed age 21, and kept it secret

• My mother eventually noticed, and recommended treatment; I agreed, & got taken into IOP

• I’m still on my parents’ very good insurance, so treatment was covered pretty much entirely

• I did treatment with the same strategy I’ve used before: coasting until discharge, then keeping it secret. I have no intention of ever pursuing actual recovery, and do not believe it is possible. I don’t want to get rid of this problem, but I want it to be my problem only.

• Unfortunately, this means I essentially have to lie to everyone, because they won’t discharge you if you say “I’m doing this purely so I won’t run myself into the ground, and so my mom will leave me alone”. So I lied my ass off.

• I’m continuing to lie to my nutritionist, who recently approved me for “as-needed” appointments, and I kept putting off finding a therapist until my mom forgot and stopped asking about it, because I just don’t have the energy to continually lie to a therapist, and conversely, I don’t want to actually, honestly talk to a therapist.

—

The Predicament:

• Bill for $600 (part not covered by insurance) came from the treatment center

• Mom offered to pay it; I said no, I’ll pay for it

• Did this because I could not live with the guilt of my mom paying for treatment that she thinks actually put me on a path towards health, that I secretly used to lull her into a false sense of security

• She insists, and I insist back

• I pay it that night

• She finds out I paid it and breaks down crying because she thinks I did it because I assumed she couldn’t afford it and now she thinks she has failed me because I don’t think I can rely on my mother

• I try to explain that I’m an adult and it was my issue and my treatment and that I work full time and should be expected to pay my own medical copays

• This makes her feel worse and she expresses that my trying to pay my own way has been a pattern since I first got a job at 14, and that she should’ve asserted herself as a financial caregiver when she had the chance

• I freeze, because I don’t know how to explain what I really mean without admitting that I lied for months in an attempt to get people to stop worrying about an admittedly possibly-fatal illness

• I let her continue to cry

—

AITA FOR: Not explaining and just… letting her believe that?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #eating disorder cw

[wanderingblindly]

PLEASE give me rules of engagement director’s cut. i need it biblically

AAAAAH thank you!!!! I haven't gotten to talk about this fic before, I think, so let us commence the info dump <33333

The Origins

I've always been a fake dating trope fan, but I've never had an idea that made it feel like my story, you know? But I've always wanted to try!

While I was procrastinating on cleaning my apartment, I randomly thought of this dialogue, directly copied from my planning document:

“If we do this, we need to make some rules” “Max we live together, I’m sure it’ll be fine” “WE NEED RULES CHARLES”

My brain immediately latched on to it, and the fic was born like... two hours later hahah

My Favorite Bits

Ok so this is one of my favorite lines for the DUMBEST reason:

“Are women not…? Is it these women, or?” His voice sounded tight. They hadn’t discussed Max’s sexuality before. Actually, if Max thought about it, they never really discussed Charles’s, either. He was pretty sure Charles stayed the night at a few different women's’ flats during uni, but that was little more than speculation.  ... “That’s fine, of course. Anything is. Fine, I mean.” Charles stuttered, his cheeks still slightly pink.  “Doesn’t solve the problem though, does it?”

Was it vaguely inspired by BBC's Sherlock? Yes it was. Would anyone have noticed if I didn't confess to my sins? No.

More seriously, I also really enjoyed this little scene:

They always ate breakfast together.  Max always woke up first to get started on washing the fruit, and Charles always stumbled out of his bedroom in a state of total disarray about fifteen minutes later – hair sticking up, sweatshirt off one shoulder, pajama pants low across his hips, glasses nearly askew. They would eat breakfast together, Max happily talking about his to-dos and Charles diligently humming and nodding along as necessary. They’d get dressed, they’d walk out the door together. Max always locked it, Charles always lost his keys in the depths of his bag before he left the house.   It was easy and understandable. It was theirs. 

While the rest of the story, up until this point, has hinted at the routines baked into this domesticity, I loved how this scene used that to highlight why Max found the situation so alarming. They have a distinct rhythm -- an easy cadence that I tried to mimic in the very basic structure of the paragraph -- that's so noticeable when it's disturbed.

It also shows how much Max notices about Charles, even before he realizes why. To know someone well enough that even the slightest change in timing throws a red flag is just hmmmm I love it lol

And finally, one of my last favorite scenes:

“You’re still wearing your ring,” Max pointed out rather unhelpfully. Charles let out a bleak laugh, devoid of his usual eye-crinkling warmth.  “You picked it out for me,” He shrugged, leaving something unspoken in the air. Max didn’t do well with unspoken, with reading between the lines. He tried to breathe it into his lungs, find the meaning Charles left out. Speak it. 

The confession was just so full of "Max is trying his best and he doesn't entirely understand what he's done wrong but he'll do absolutely anything for him and Charles to just go back to the way it was before please please please". This line in particular highlights how much of this is Max desperately trying to understand what Charles really needs from him -- even though the answer ends up being nothing he expected.

Random Fun Lore

As always, this fic is full of random things from my actual life (for no real reason other than I'm unoriginal and boring). Some examples are:

Max's MD's summer party in the countryside: YES I have to go to this every year, YES I do get splashed by my coworkers, and YES there is far too much alcohol lol (although I do not partake like Max did but hey)

Full Recovery Mode: the very specific mug and the very specific tea that Max puts together for Charles is absolutely based on my real life (liter sized Japanese mug my beloved)

#OH and the scene where Charles had to teach Max how to hold his hand #my HEART #this fic was very much a 'head empty just vibes hit post' sort of experience #THANK U FOR ASKING ILYSM #Rules of Engagement #lestappen #ask me :) #directors commentary

[millersdjarin]

I Only See Daylight 15

Chapter Fifteen

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rating: E (18+)

Chapter warnings/tags: injuries & injury recovery, medical stuff, bacta tanks, angst, negative self-talk/self-image, past emotional & physical abuse, graphic (?) depictions of injuries, scars, cults, supportive din, big emotional steps, also SMUT, clothed sexy times, masturbation, lil bit of dirty talk, thirsting after din (ofc)

Chapter length: 8.2k

Previous Chapter | Series Masterlist & Info | Full Masterlist

notes: whoooops, sorry for the short delay. life was a Lot this week. hope this chapter makes up for it ;)

and i can still see it all (in my head), back and forth from new york (sneaking in your bed)

“I only ever heard bacta tanks described as feeling like you’re being ‘swallowed alive’ by slime.” 

Doctor Garidan gives a slight wry smile. “Some people definitely feel that way when being submerged in the traditional tank that you enter from the top.” 

“That’s not what Fett has?” 

“No. His is a more comfortable model. You lie down in it, and the liquid fills up when you’re ready, just like a bath, except you’re fully submerged.” 

You chew your bottom lip. Din is sitting in the chair beside you, as always, just quietly holding your hand and letting you talk to Garidan. “So no one has to, like, hoist me out of a huge vat of slime?” 

“No,” he assures you, still smiling. “It can still be unpleasant for some people, though. I can offer you sedatives, if you have anxieties.”

You’re still pretty high on painkillers, but you’re fairly certain that you have anxieties. Don’t you always? 

“I would very much encourage you to consider the bacta as an option. We’ll know more after the dressing changes, but given the extent of the injuries as they were yesterday…” 

You nod, not needing him to elaborate any further. And, yep, there’s the anxiety, swirling around in your stomach and making a painful knot. Which is the last thing you need right now, on top of everything else. 

Gently, Din squeezes your hand. You look up at him, immediately comforted by his very presence. 

“Are you ready for the dressing change?” Garidan asks. 

Nope. You’ll never be ready. “Yes,” you say anyway, closing your eyes. You open them again straight away, though, when you feel Din stand up, hear him move. He’s getting ready to leave. As much as you wish you could tell him that it’s okay to stay, that you’d feel more comfortable if he did, you can’t. It’s silly, really, because you know how he feels about you; that the current mess that is your body won’t send him running for the hills.

But, still. It’s going to take time. And, just like how you want to see his face for the first time in very different circumstances than this, if he’s going to see your body for what it is, in all it’s scarred glory, you don’t want it to be while you’re being poked and prodded at by doctors on this hospital bed beneath harsh lighting. 

You hold his hand, look up at him. “Come back when we’re done?” 

Reaching out his spare hand, he brushes it over the top of your head, just for a second before he pulls away. “Always.” 

And that promise alone is enough to get you through the pain and discomfort that ensues. 

Bacta is looking like an attractive option by the time the doctors have removed your bandages and inspected the wounds and surgery sites. Doctor Garidan informs you that his initial assessment was correct: the chances of your skin healing over on its own are low, unless you use the tank. 

They don’t apply new bandages yet, waiting for your decision. 

By the time Din comes back in, you’re still surrounded by medical assistants, and he can probably barely see you beneath all the devices they’ve got strapped to you. 

“I’m going in,” you tell him. “The bacta.” 

He nods. “I think that’s a good call,” he says, standing above you, his cape hanging down to the floor. He’s got a new flight suit on—you make a mental note to ask him when that happened—and he’s favouring one leg, probably shouldn’t be walking around as much as he is, but you’re hardly surprised. “They gave me some bacta patches,” he explains, noticing that you’re staring at his leg. “Some spray, too.” 

“You don’t wanna dunk in the tank with me, then?” You say with a tired but teasing smile. 

“I don’t think there’d be enough room in there for both of us, Cyar’ika.” 

“Hm, probably not. Not exactly a romantic situation, either, just sitting in a vat of slimy stuff that probably smells really bad.” 

“It does.” 

“Have you been in it before?” 

“Been around it enough to know.” 

You reach out and take his hand. “They’re going to put me on even more drugs,” you tell him. “Feel free to laugh at me when I’m high as a starship.” 

His gloved thumb smoothes over yours. “I will,” he says, so playfully sincerely that it makes you giggle. It hurts, of course, but it’s worth it. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Garidan says, appearing at the foot of the bed in a gap between people. “But we’re ready to take you through.” 

You take a deep breath. The air is cold on your wounds. It stings, and reminds you every fucking second that you’re currently baring your body to literally anyone who comes in here. Including Din, although he’s only looking at your face, and the nurses are providing good cover. 

He squeezes your hand. You squeeze it back. 

“Are you ready?” Garidan asks. 

Staring right into Din’s visor, searching his gaze for strength, you nod.

Inside the tank, you’re so drugged up that all you can think about is how the injuries happened in the first place. You’re in a haze, somewhere in a fog where the memory keeps repeating over and over and over. Then the dream you’d had during surgery comes back to you: your family standing over you, your arms bleeding, leaking shards of glass, Din backing away in disgust. It mixes with what actually happened, with the window that broke beneath your weight, the pieces that stuck into your already-existing scars.

You only start to come back to reality once you’re back in your bed.

The droids have dried you off, but you can still smell the bacta on your skin; still taste it in your nose. It’s not pleasant, but it’s also not the worst sensation you’ve felt in the last few days.

And, kriff, you feel better.

So much fucking better.

Doctor Garidan looks pleased. He tells you that you were in there for six hours, and that the results are extremely promising. The skin has already started to regenerate, the slight damage to your shoulder bone has gone, and the flesh that was shredded deeply by the debris has already started healing. He tells you that you can have another session in the tank if you want to, but that it’s not necessary now; it’s given your body enough of a boost to heal by itself.

“It could mean that recovery takes longer if you don’t go in again,” he says, “but you will recover. I can tell you that now.” 

And, to be honest, you don’t want to see those dreams again. 

So you opt for the long road. At least now, though, you can breathe without it feeling like your entire body is on fire. 

Once you’re all bandaged up and settled on your side again, Din comes in, and brings Grogu with him. He’s overjoyed to see you, screeching in glee and practically falling from Din’s arms so he can get down to the bed, curling up beside you on the small mattress. 

“Hey, kiddo,” you laugh tiredly, head still a little fuzzy as the meds wear off. “How’s it going?” He looks up at you, looks deeply into your eyes, tilts his head. He’s asking you if you’re alright. “I’m good, kid. I promise. They’ve been taking real good care of me.” 

He reaches out a little clawed hand and places it over your bandages. You feel it in an instant, the strange pull that you’d felt all that time ago when he’d drawn poison from your wound, the ease of pain that comes from his powers. Your heart warms at the sight of him, closing his eyes and putting all his concentration into healing you. 

You also know, though, what it does to him when he uses all his strength like this.

Gently, you take hold of his arm, and pull his hand away. His eyes open, ears tilting downward. “Thank you, kid, but you don’t have to. Save your energy, okay? I promise I’m alright.” 

He gazes up at you for another long moment, blinking slowly. If you had the Force, you’d tell him, somehow, that everything is okay. That you’re alright. You’d push whatever comfort he manages to push to you through a single touch right back to him, reassure him. 

Instead, you just lean in, rest your forehead against his. 

He’s happy with that. He relaxes, letting his arm drop, and snuggles into your chest. 

Smiling, you look up to find Din sitting by your bed again, just watching you. “Hey,” you say, quiet. 

“Hi,” he says. “How do you feel?” 

You sigh. “A lot better. That bacta stuff is miracle slime, huh?” 

“Yeah, it’s pretty good.”

“Do I stink of it now?” 

The kid makes a noise like he’s saying Yes. You laugh, giving his head a rub. 

“The helmet filters out the smell,” Din answers, the curve of a smirk in his voice. 

“Ah, it has its uses.” 

After a moment of quiet, Din reaches out and strokes his hand down your cheek. You smile up at him, feeling warmth and softness spread in your chest, around your heart, clenching it. You tilt your head, kiss his palm. “You’re doing good, you know that, right?” he says quietly. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You went in that tank, you’re…always fighting to survive.” 

You take his hand, thread your fingers together. He’s looking down at you, somehow so intense even through the visor. It’s always been like that. He’s always been able to capture the intensity and intimacy of a shared look, even through beskar. You wonder if it feels like that for other people when he looks at them. Or if it’s just you. “Garidan says I can head up to our own quarters in a couple of days,” you tell him. “But I’ll need to be on bedrest for a while.” 

Din nods. “Whatever you need.” 

“I…is it safe for us to stay here?” You ask, a hint of anxiety creeping in around the  warmth. Then, as the feeling grows, “How did they find us?” 

He sighs softly, sitting back in his chair. His hand is still in yours, arm extended across the gap between him and the bed. “I heard from Peli, just after the attack. There was a tracker hidden on the ship. It must have shown our location as soon as we dropped out of hyperspace. Apparently some people in the town were…members of your…of the…” 

“The cult,” you provide bitterly.

He nods once, like he still doesn’t want to say it. “They held Peli up.” 

“What?” You almost sit up at the shock of it, dread hitting your stomach. “Is she alright?” 

“She’s alright. A little shook up, but she said it’s nothing she hasn’t dealt with before.” 

You raise an eyebrow. “She’s dealt with crazy cult members before?” 

“She’s seen a lot,” he says, wry.

“Kriff. Did she tell them where we were?” 

“She didn’t know, so no. They asked around, though, and put together our location from different witnesses.” 

A sigh comes through your nose. That familiar feeling of guilt twists inside you. “I’m sorry,” you find yourself saying. 

Din sighs, too. Like he’s really tired of hearing that. (You’re tired of feeling it.) “It’s not your fault.” 

You just shake your head, too tired to argue. Come to think of it, you’re really fucking tired. It hits you suddenly, unexpected, though not out of nowhere. It’s been a long fucking day. You look up at Din, feel his hand in yours, and you’re suddenly overcome with the need for him. For him to kiss you, to hold you, to touch you. It feels like it’s been weeks since you last felt his skin, and you know how ridiculous it is; when you first met, you never even imagined you’d get to feel his hands, let alone the rest of him. Let alone him touching you. 

But now that you’ve had a taste of it, you can’t get enough.

And you’re still just a little high on painkillers, so of course, the realisation that he can’t hold you right now has you crying. Logically. Totally reasonably. 

“Hey,” Din says, leaning forward in his seat. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

You shake your head. It’s ridiculous. “Nothing,” you say, even though it feels like everything is wrong because he’s too far away and you’re holding the kid but you want to hold both of them, want to know that they’re both here and safe and not going anywhere—

“Are you in pain?”

“No, I—yes,” you say, “but it’s not…that’s not…” you cut yourself off with a heavy sigh, impatient at yourself. “I’m just really tired.”

His fingertips brush down your cheek, wiping away the tears. “Get some sleep, Mesh’la,” he says softly. He starts to reach for the kid, to take him away. 

“He can stay,” you say before he’s gone. Grogu looks up at you with an appreciative coo. “You wanna stay, kid?” 

In answer, he snuggles back down and closes his eyes. 

Din chuckles. It’s so beautiful. You want to hear it in the dark again, where there’s nothing separating his voice from your ears. “Alright. You two get some sleep.”

“You can go and rest,” you tell him, even though the idea of Din leaving is literally making you cry again—“You’ve been here since it happened.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he says, so decisive and certain. It reminds you of those early days in the cave, when he refused to leave you alone and injured. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

And you just can’t. He’s so…he’s so…

“Sleep,” he tells you softly, just as the word perfect comes to your mind. It doesn’t even come close to what he is. To how he makes you feel. 

You nod, and reach for his hand again. You tuck it up against Grogu’s back, and close your eyes. 

-

By the time the doctors clear you to leave the medbay, you’re actually desperate to see somewhere other than this fucking room. 

It’s not like Tatooine is a delightful place to be. Even though this town is relatively nice, and Boba’s home is certainly the height of luxury, being constantly surrounded by all this sand and heat and dryness is not your idea of a good time. 

But, kriff, anywhere is better than the medbay. You’d sit out, bare-assed on the sand right now if you had to, just to get a change of scene.

Thankfully, though, you have your suite. 

It’s not quite like coming home, like settling into the familiarity of the ship. But it’s good enough.

You can only just walk. Din helps you through to the bedroom, lays you down on the bed. You can lie on your back for short periods of time now, the bandages providing enough padding for it to not start hurting until fifteen minutes later. Though short-lived, it’s always a welcome reprieve from constantly being on your side. 

Despite the relief at being somewhere new, being in a real bed that Din can actually be near you in, your mind is still occupied by one thing, and one thing only. 

Them. 

They’re not going to give up. Just because their first attempt at an ambush failed, doesn’t mean they won’t send someone else, follow you to the next place. Your mind has had a lot of time in the last few days to overthink, to imagine all the ways that they might try to get to you. You’re safe here, behind Boba Fett’s walls and his army. Security has been tripled. You know that they can’t get in while you’re here. 

But you can’t be here as a burden forever. It’s not where you’re supposed to be. And you’d never ask Din and Grogu to stay, but leaving with them seems just as dangerous, too.

“What’s on your mind?” Din asks, breaking you from your thoughts as he comes into the bedroom. He’s already taking off his gloves, having just put the kid to bed. 

You’re distracted for a moment by the sight of his skin, the soft tan of his fingers. “Nothing,” you lie.

He glances at you. ��The truth?” He requests. 

You sigh. “I’m just…thinking.” 

“About what?” 

“What happens next.”

“Hm,” he hums, thoughtful, stripping off each plate of armour carefully and placing them on the drawers that line the wall opposite the bed. You’re watching him, admiring the way he does this, how it’s always the same practiced routine every time. “What do you want to happen next?” 

And if that isn’t a question and a half. 

Heavily, you swallow, not sure what to answer. In an ideal world, you know exactly what you want. You want Din. You want the kid. You want to live on that little ship and go wherever the wind takes you; or you’d settle on a planet somewhere in the middle of nowhere and never see another soul again, as long as it meant the three of you would be together. Safe. (Hell, you’d settle here, if that’s where Din wanted to stay.)

But this isn’t an ideal world. You’re still being hunted. You always will be. 

And maybe Din doesn’t even want all of that. Maybe he doesn’t want you like you want him. 

“Cyare,” Din’s voice is soft. The new nickname draws your attention, your eyes falling on him again. He’s just got his flight suit and helmet on now. The shape of his body is a lot. It feels like it’s been forever since you last felt him, held him. 

You reach out your hands, splaying them. “Come here,” you say, making grabbing motions with your fingers. 

He does. He steps over, comes to your side of the bed, then sits beside you on the edge of it, just next to your thighs. Your hands are on him in a second, one grabbing his arm, the other trying to pull him closer. At first, he looks like he’s going to go with it; like he’ll lean in close and let you press your forehead to his helmet, run your hands over his arms and shoulders. 

But then, he takes a gentle hold of both of your wrists, slowly draws your hands away. 

You frown. “You okay?” 

“Yes,” he replies. He stares at you, more intense than usual. It’s like he’s hesitating. “I…” 

Concerned now, you push yourself up as best you can, sitting up beside him so your head is almost at his height. You press a hand to the cheek of his helmet. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” his hand absently strokes at your cheek. “Nothing’s wrong, I promise.” 

“Then, what is it?” 

He pauses. Takes a breath, then swallows so hard that you hear it. Anxiety is twisting in your stomach, jumping at the excuse to flare up again. When Din speaks, though, his voice is just a whisper, and what he says breaks you from any anxiety spiral that was starting to come on, “I want to take it off.”

You freeze. 

Your breath catches. You hold it.

“You…” you stammer, lost for words all of a sudden. “You want to…take it off? Your helmet?” Your thumb smoothes over the sharp point of the helmet over his cheekbone. 

He nods once, holding your wrists. 

“Are—are you sure? You know you don’t have to, right? I’d never ask you to do that. It’s part of your Creed, part of who you are…” 

He shakes his head, cutting you off. “I was ready to take it off in the medbay,” he says. His voice is husky, thick with emotion. 

You can’t believe it. You don’t know if you want to. This isn’t something you ever thought would happen, it’s not something you ever expected from him, from this—

“If you don’t want me to,” he says, sounding insecure now, the first time you’ve ever heard that from him, “I won’t.” 

“No, it’s not that,” you shake your head vehemently, because, kriffing hells. As if. “No, Din, I…I just don’t want you to feel like you have to. I’m happy with how things are now, you don’t…I’d never want you to change for me…” 

He’s still looking at you. It feels different, now that the idea of his eyes actually meeting yours in the light is on the table. “I know,” he says softly, his thumb smoothing over the bare skin of your wrist. “I know, Cyar’ika.” 

You run your hand over his shoulder, gazing into his visor. “Then why?” You ask lightly. “Why now? Why…why me?” 

His grip tightens on your wrist, taking hold of it properly in his bare fingers. He’s quiet for a long moment. You wonder what’s going through his mind, whether he’s changing it, whether he’s struggling to come up with words to express what he’s feeling. He’s never seemed to do that before, but you understand. You struggle with that every time you look at him. 

“Since the day I met the kid,” he says eventually, so quiet, “things have been changing. I’ve changed. I’m not the same man I was before all of this happened.” 

You nod, content to listen. Wanting to hear everything he has to tell you about himself, his soul. 

“Things were already changing,” he says, “And then I met you.”

Heavily, you swallow down a lump of nerves. Your heart leaps in your chest. Everything changed for me, too.

He smoothes his hand over your forearm, your palm against his helmet. “You and the kid are my life now,” he says softly. “I want to see you, and I want you to see me.” 

The warmth in your chest is so strong it almost hurts. You’re not sure if it’s hit you yet, the fact that he’s saying this. Your eyes sting with tears, but you hold them back, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by making this such a huge deal.

It is a huge deal, though.

He’s looking at you, so sincere and intense even though you can’t see him, his hand running over your skin so comfortingly, like the reassurance is for both of you. And, Maker, do you want to see him. You’ve always wanted to. But despite that, you never expected him, and certainly never planned on asking him, to remove his helmet in the light. Even removing it in the dark was something you never thought you’d get.

“Din,” you say gently, ignoring your reflection in his helmet, just staring right into his visor, “if this is something you want to do, then I’m all for it. But I need you to know that you don’t have to.” 

“I know,” he says. “I want to. Kriff, Cyar’ika, I want to.” 

“Are you sure about this?” 

“I’m sure. I don’t know when I’ll do it again, but…” 

You shake your head. “I’m not asking you to make me promises,” you whisper. 

He takes a deep breath. His hand moves up your arm, comes to take a gentle hold of your hand on his helmet. He lifts it away, squeezing your fingers before moving down to his lap, letting your palm settle against the fabric on his thigh. Then, his hands are on his helmet. Another deep breath draws in through it, then out. You realise as you wait with bated breath that your back is actually killing you, and you can only really see the side of his face from here. 

“Wait,” you say softly, and he stops, looks at you. “Can I…I’m not comfortable like this, can I…?” You shuffle forward, gesture vaguely to his lap.

He relaxes like he’d been hoping you’d ask. One of his hands taps his leg, his other taking a gentle hold of your waist where he knows there are no wounds. He helps you out of bed, and soon you’re settled in his lap—your favourite place in the entire Galaxy—and instead of bracing your feet on the floor, you wrap your legs around his hips, crossing your ankles on the mattress behind him. Your hips are flush together, his face just inches from yours. “This okay?” You ask quietly, stroking his helmet like it’s second nature. 

He nods, looking up at you, a hand still on your waist. “It’s perfect,” he tells you. 

So you smile, and you wait. 

You’d wait forever. 

His hands move again, back to his helmet. The soft hiss that follows as it releases from his head makes you want to close your eyes, already so used to doing that. But you resist, keeping them open, not daring to look away from him for even a second, barely even blinking. 

From the second you see just his chin as his helmet lifts, you’re already falling apart at the seams. 

Kriff.

He doesn’t take his eyes off you as he lowers his helmet to the bed, brings his hands back to your waist. Then he’s there. 

Din. Right here in front of you, beneath you, his face a collage of emotions, of a life, of stories. 

His eyes. They’re brown, deep and delicious, with wrinkles around the corners and beneath them, just little lines in his skin that you want to trace with your fingers, make up a story for each one. His skin is golden, fucking glowing, despite the fact it never sees the sun. His eyelashes are dark and long, like they’re painted there. 

Your hands are exploring him like you’re in the dark. Your eyes guide them, and they follow each part of him that you can see. The hair on his jaw, his chin, above his lip. His hair, short but wavy, cut shorter at the sides but getting a little long. You’ve felt it so many times, run your hands through it and clutched it like it’s a lifeline. 

He’s looking up at you, and he looks hesitant. Nervous. There’s a wrinkle in his forehead, deeper than the ones that surround it. You run your finger through it, smoothing it out.

His breath brushes against your lips. Warm, sweet. Him. Your eyes come to his lips at the feeling, and, fuck. You’ve been kissing those lips all this time, and you knew how perfect they felt, but you could never have imagined they’d look just as wonderful. Your thumb catches his bottom lip, pulling it down slightly as it slips down to his chin, brushes through the sparse hair. 

He looks nervous still. He’s watching your face, trying to gage your reaction. 

Your reaction is that you don’t think you’re ever going to be able to look away. You’re never going to be able to take your hands off him, to stop looking at his skin, finding new wrinkles and scars and parts of his face that you want to kiss and stroke and commit to memory. 

He’s so kriffing beautiful. Hot as all hell, the most handsome fucking man you’ve ever had the privilege to see, but above all else, there is beauty in every inch of him. His eyes hold a lifetime, memories, his soul. The look on his face is so easy to read, and you wonder if it’s because he’s not used to having to hide it. 

There are tears in your eyes. Your chest feels tight, overwhelmed by the sheer weight of this moment, of the trust in his face, the apprehension. Like he’s worried you’d think he was anything other than…

“Mesh’la,” you find yourself saying, breathing it out. 

His eyebrow twitches up. He doesn’t say anything, just shifts underneath you, keeping his eyes—his fucking eyes!—locked on you. His gaze still feels the same as always, and that amazes you. That all this time, you’ve been able to see him, feel him, even with the beskar separating you. 

Now, you see all of him. Not literally. But it feels like you do.

“Kriff,” you curse, laughing just a little through the thick lump of tears in your throat. You want to kiss him, but the idea of looking away, of closing your eyes, is not an option right now. “Din, it’s you.” 

He swallows, and you see it in his throat. Fuck. You want to catch the drop of his Adam’s apple in your mouth. You want to watch it forever. “It’s me, Cyar’ika.” 

And, fuck.

This feels like the final piece of the puzzle. Hearing his voice, unmodulated, was already enough to send you over the edge that he created the day he walked into your life. But to hear it and see it, the movement of his lips, while his breath brushes against your face…

“You’re perfect,” you whisper. Your hands find the back of his head, forearms resting on his shoulders. Your eyes are twinkling, glistening with tears. So are his. Like he’s a mirror. Like he feels exactly the same about this moment as you do; and that is a fucking miracle. “Kriff, Din, you’re…” you can’t help it. Your forehead falls into his. Because he’s here. All of him is right fucking here, the heat of his face, the softness of his cheeks. You can open your eyes. You can close them. He’s letting you see him, hold him, letting you into parts of him that he’s never let anyone else before—

You push yourself closer to him, though it’s not really possible. Suddenly out of breath, you tangle your hands in his hair, cross your legs tighter around his hips. 

His tongue darts out, wets his lips. “Sweetheart,” he says softly, desperately.

“I need you,” you find yourself breathing, whining against his lips. You’re getting greedy now, and you know it. You’ve got his face right here in front of you, his body below you, and yet all you want is more. All of him. Always. “I need you, Din. Please? Can I?” 

“You can always have me,” he promises, just an inch from your lips, “but I don’t want to hurt you. You need to rest.” 

You whine. Despite the irresistible throbbing between your legs, he’s right. Because your wounds are throbbing, too. This is the longest you’ve sat up in days. “You show me your face, and then expect me to not want you to take me right here, right now?” 

It’s his turn to whine, and it’s absolutely gorgeous, just like the rest of him. “Mesh’la…” 

You shake your head. “I get to call you that, now. That’s your nickname.” 

His lips turn up at the corners; you feel it against your own. 

You pull back in an instant, desperate to see him smile. It’s only small, but kriffing hell, it’s so fond, a warmth in his deep brown eyes that you’ve never seen on anyone before. His face is so expressive, even with such a small smile just about tugging at his lips; you can see his joy, his nerves; you can see how he feels about you. 

You don’t know what he looks like when he looks up at the night sky, at a beautiful view, at a glowing sunset. You’ve never seen the look in his eyes when something beautiful, something he adores, is in front of him. So, really, you shouldn’t be able to recognise it now.

And yet, you do.

And that is a fucking lot.

“No one’s ever—” you find yourself saying, and it’s too late to turn back now—“looked at me like this.” 

“Like what?” He lifts his hand and strokes it over your cheekbone. 

You shake your head. You can’t put it into words; you didn’t even mean to say it aloud in the first place. Instead of answering, you bring your hand out of his hair so you can stroke it down his face, down his jaw. You watch as your fingers catch in his facial hair. 

“No one has looked at me like this before, either,” Din confesses. He’s looking right into your eyes. You could drown in this. In this shared gaze. 

You manage a wry smile, and tease softly, “I mean, you’re a pretty intimidating Mandalorian when you want to be; I think people try to avoid looking at you.” 

He smiles, too, laughs, and the wrinkles around his eyes deepen into beautiful smile lines. Your heart clenches, realising that he must smile more than you realise. It’s soft, tentative, and beautiful. He licks his lips again, and it’s only because of the way he takes a hesitant breath that you know he’s not doing it just to make you want him even more. “When I had to take it off in front of the Imps,” he says huskily, “it was…torture. And I knew that after I took it off, I should never have been allowed to put it back on. I don’t know why I was surprised when they told me I wasn’t Mandalorian anymore; I already knew it.” 

“Din…” you stroke the back of his head. 

He shakes his head, softly cutting you off. He tilts and kisses the inside of your arm, keeping his eyes on yours, “It felt like torture. And it was, really. But this…with you, Cyar’ika, I…” 

Your breath hitches, and you hold it there. 

“This feels…right,” he admits. Then, on a shaky breath, “Kriff, baby, it feels so fucking right.” 

And, well, if you weren’t already desperate for him before, you absolutely are now. Baby. 

Tears are trying their absolute hardest to squeeze past your defences as everything just overwhelms you at once. There are three words on the edge of your tongue, three that you’ve never said to anyone before, that you’ve never felt for anyone before.

“Are you okay?” He asks, a soft frown creasing his forehead. 

Your fingertips rush to it right away, smoothing out the lines. Just because you can. You find yourself laughing, albeit a little weakly. “Am I okay? Kriff, Din, I’ve never been fucking better.” 

He laughs. It can’t possibly get any better than that.

You stroke your hands over his cheeks, splaying your fingers out. For the first time, he closes his eyes, lets himself relax into your touch. His lashes are like pen strokes over his under-eyes. You lean in and press a kiss to each of his eyelids. “This means so much to me,” you whisper against the bridge of his nose. 

He nods. His hands are back on your waist. You know that if he could, he’d have them all over you; if you weren’t aching in a not-so-fun way across your entire back and arm. “You mean so much to me,” he says. Then, not giving you a chance to fumble for an answer that could possibly sum anything up, he tilts his head and captures your lips with his. 

You all but whimper against his mouth. Your legs tighten around him again, pushing your hips together. There’s the slight twitch of his cock between your legs, perking up with a little interest at the friction. And, realistically, you know you can’t have sex right now. Even this is hurting you a little. But it’s still such a good feeling that you can’t help but slide along the length of him that you can feel through his suit.

“Mm, shit, Mesh’la,” he groans, breaking away, “you can’t do that.” 

“Sorry,” you giggle. Then, because you can, you pull away and look at him again. “How do you feel?” 

He lets out a breath, like he’s relieved. His eyes are so sincere as they look up into yours. You don’t think you’ll ever get tired of looking at him like this. “I feel good,” he smiles a little. 

You smile, too. There are no words, so you kiss him again, just once. 

“Are you in pain?” He asks, stroking his thumb over your chin. 

“Yeah,” you can’t help but admit. “But it’s okay. We can stay like this for a while.” Honestly, as much as you won’t pressure him to keep his helmet off, you don’t want to move from this spot. You don’t want to let go of the sight of him just yet. 

Where his other hand still sits on your waist, his thumb smoothes over the fabric of your shirt. “We should get you comfortable,” he protests gently. 

“I want to stay like this,” you hold tighter to him on instinct, “just for a little longer.” 

He searches your eyes, his own darting back and forth between them. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, taking you by surprise.

He has to be doing it on purpose. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted him this badly, ever had such a rush of arousal go through you so fast. “Din,” you grind lightly down on him, “please. I need you. I need you to—kriff, please, Din…” 

“Alright,” he says soothingly, “it’s alright. What do you need, sweetheart?” 

“Need you. Touch me, please, fuck me, I—”

“I won’t hurt you. You need to rest.” 

You shake your head, still grinding your hips down in long circles against his, and honestly, he has the restraint of a fucking saint, because you are already falling apart on top of him and all you have is the vaguest feeling of pressure between several layers of clothes—

“Please,” you let your head fall down into his neck, the warmth of him pressing against your face. “Din, please. Whatever you can give me, I’ll take it. I just—need to feel you.” 

He sighs softly. “Cyar’ika,” he breathes, “you’re killing me.” 

You laugh, glad he’s finally showing it. “Yeah, the feeling’s mutual, Mando.” 

“I can’t…sweetheart, if I fuck you right now, I just can’t…I’ll worry too much about hurting you…” 

“Your hands,” you tell him, beg him, “your mouth. Anything. Please. If you say no, I’ll stop asking, I just—please.” 

He’s never turned you down. Not when it really counted. 

And, it seems, he’s not about to start now. His hand comes to the back of your neck, tangling his fingers in your hair, and he kisses you hard and urgent, mouth open, tongue already finding its way to yours—

He pulls away too quickly though, and says against your lips, “I don’t want to hurt you, and I can’t feel it if I am. So touch yourself for me, Mesh’la,” he whispers, breath hot in your mouth, “and let me hold you.” 

“Kriff,” you curse without thinking, a hard pulse of arousal shooting through you. Maybe if you weren’t so embarrassingly desperate you’d protest, tell him that you need his hands on you, his fingers inside you; but he’s holding you so carefully and yet intensely, one hand on the back of your neck, the other finding its way to your thigh, holding you down against him, and you’re so fucking turned on that your own hands will do. 

Keeping one in his hair, you move your other down to between your legs, pushing back the waistband of the not-so-sexy hospital pants they gave you. They’re comfortable and stretchy but just in the way right now, so you push them down as best you can, and a sigh escapes your lips at the welcome pressure on your clit.

You start to work in circles around it, and it’s been a while since you touched yourself, and you’ve certainly never done it like this before—

Din underneath you, so hot and warm and there, his face right there for you to look at and his breath on your face. It feels so different to be intimate in the light. You’re even more exposed like this, even though you’re not naked. 

Your fingers dip down to your entrance, gather wetness before moving back to your clit. Circling your hips down against your own pleasure, the back of your hand brushes against the bulge of Din’s cock through the several layers of fabric that separate you, and you don’t know how he’s holding it together because fuck, you are absolutely not. 

His lips would usually be on your neck right now; especially when your head tips back in pleasure, your other hand moving to squeeze one of your tits through your clothes. You’re stretched out on top of him, back arching as far as it can without it hurting as you coax pleasure from yourself and from his hand in your hair, the way he’s grabbing a fistful of it and tugging lightly, his thumb squeezing the inside of your thigh, so close to your heat—

When you look down, you realise why his lips aren’t on you. 

He’s just staring up at you, his pupils blown so wide you can barely see his irises. His mouth is open slightly and his breath is delicious as it pants against your mouth. You can see his body automatically rocking up into your grinding, and then you feel it, the tighter squeeze on your thigh as his hand moves dangerously close to yours where it rubs at your clit. You gasp, and hold his eyes, revelling in the ecstasy upon his gorgeous face, the way he looks like he’s about to come just from the sight of you.

You’ve never seen his face before when you do this—but he’s never seen yours, either. And he’s making the most of every second. 

“Kriffing hells,” you curse. Your pussy is clenching around nothing, and you want something—him, you want him—inside of you so badly that it makes you ache. You know you can’t, the pain of your injuries already starting to get a bit much, rising with every curl of your hips. You’ve got to come soon or you’re going to have to stop. 

“Fuck,” Din curses, then he dives in like he can’t help it, captures your lips in his. “You look so fucking good like this, Mesh’la. You look this good when it’s me inside you?” 

“Better,” you breathe out, your eyelids fluttering closed as he moves the hand on the back of your head to your breast, replacing your hand’s place there so you can hold the nape of his neck again. “Want you inside me, Din. Baby, I need you so bad, I wish I could—”

“I know,” he reassures you, squeezing your nipple. “I know, sweetheart, me too. But this is enough; kriff, you’re so perfect. I know you need me. I need you, too.” 

You feel open above him, totally exposed to him despite the fact that only your face is showing, the expanse of your neck. It’s never been like this, you can feel his eyes burning into you, you’re too exposed…

“Please,” Din says suddenly, his voice so strained that it brings your eyes back to him, “don’t cover your face.” 

You hadn’t even realised that one of your hands was over your eyes and forehead. You drop it onto his shoulder, forcing yourself to look down at him. “It’s just—” your finger on your clit stutters as a particularly strong wave of tightness starts to coil in your stomach at the mere sight of him, all wet-lipped and wide-eyed, grinding up into you—“I’ve never been seen like this.” 

He nods like he understands. And you know he does. “You’re perfect,” he promises you, squeezing your tit again for good measure, like he’s making a point. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this. Look at you, sweetheart, you’re so perfect, fucking yourself on me like this—”

“Din…” 

“I know. I wish I could fuck you, too. Come on, Cyar’ika, come for me. Let me see that pretty face. Please.” 

All you can do is rub your clit, grind down against him as best you can. He can barely touch you; not running his hands over you like he usually does, and you can’t get anything inside you despite the fact that you want it more than anything. But somehow all of that is making this hotter, feeling your need burning brighter than ever, knowing how much you need him and that if he could he’d give you exactly what you want. What you crave. And you’re just so weak for him that even the thought of having him inside you is enough. 

With just a little too much pressure on your clit, knowing that you’ve got to come soon or it’s going to be too much, that’s what does it. 

Your high tumbles over you from the top down, clenches in your pussy around nothing, and it’s the desperation inside you to have him in there that keeps you going, keeps you up at that high for as long as possible before you’re dropping—

A gasping moan escapes your lips, and you just about hear one escape his too as he holds you through it, whispers words of praise right to your face as you ride out the waves of pleasure. 

“Kriff, baby, Mesh’la…you’re so perfect, I can’t…fuck…” 

You nod, because it’s all you can do as the aftershocks start to set in. You’re holding the back of his head, grasping his hair so tight like it’s a lifeline. His hand on your breast moves down, skirts over your stomach then moves down to your thigh. His other is still in your hair, not grasping tightly anymore, just gently smoothing his fingers through your locks. 

“Kriff,” you curse, finding your eyes closed and making an effort to open them. It’s worth it. Because he’s just there, looking up at you, all of him. His eyes, so full of adoration. His lips, his perfect lips; you lean in and kiss them, just once, just because you can. “Din…” you feel empty but complete. Your back is hurting, along with your arm. The doctor was very specific about No physical activity. But, you’re only human. And Din took his helmet off. What were you supposed to do?

Gently, one of his thumbs rubs over your cheekbone. “You okay?” 

You nod, then shake your head. “That was perfect, but now I hurt.” 

His forehead wrinkles just a little. You think he might look a bit guilty, and your suspicions are confirmed when he says, “I’m sorry.” 

“For what? I fucked myself.” 

He chuckles a little. “I encouraged it.” 

“Only after I begged for it.” 

He shrugs a shoulder, and one side of his lips quirks up into a smirk. “I didn’t mind that part.” 

You laugh, too, and shake your head. Your hand sits on his cheek, and the other is still in your panties, feeling the pulsing of your clit and pussy beneath your fingertips. 

Lightly, he taps at your hip. “You should get comfortable now,” he says softly, tilting his head so he can kiss the inside of your wrist. “You need your meds, too. Let me get them for you?” 

“Alright. I just—” You lick your lips, nervous. Glance between both of his eyes. “I don’t want you to let me go,” you confess, quiet. 

His entire body softens along with his expression. So gently, and so chaste, he leans in and kisses you once. “Never,” he swears. “I’ll come right back. Do you need to use the ’fresher?” He asks, and you nod in response. “I’ll get you some water, too.” He starts to shift like he’s going to get up, moving to help you get off him. 

You stop him, legs briefly tightening around his hips. His eyes find yours with a curious frown. You bite your bottom lip, hesitate, then bring your hand out from your pants, your fingertips soaked in your slick. He glances down at your hand, and his eyebrow twitches up a little as he looks back at you. Then, you put your fingers in front of his mouth, and raise your own eyebrow in offering. 

He keeps his eyes on yours. Locked there, like he knows it’ll drive you crazy to be looking right into his eyes as he leans forward, closes his lips around your fingers, licks your wetness right off them—

A moan is coming from your throat right when his eyes flutter closed like he can’t help it. It’s a shame to not be looking into them anymore, but you can’t help the smile that comes onto your lips, seeing the ecstasy on his face. 

You pull your fingers out with a pop. His tongue chases them to the edge of his lips. 

“Cyar’ika,” he breathes out, opening his eyes again, “are you trying to kill me?” 

“Never,” you smile, then taste your fingers yourself, and your grin only widens when the look on his face goes from lustful to downright filthy. 

“That’s not fair,” he says darkly, watching as your fingers pull out from your mouth so slowly, now wet with your spit, your eyes on his face. “You know I can’t fuck you right now. You’re teasing me.” 

Proud, you nod. He shakes his head in disbelief, then dives in and kisses you again.

He sighs as he pulls away. Presses his forehead to yours. “I’m going to get your meds,” he tells you softly. “Do you need help to the ’fresher?” 

And, after that against-the-doctor’s-orders escapade, the answer is very much yes. 

It was worth it.

notes: cannot pOSSIBLY thank y'all enough for your comments on the last chapter (and the entire fic ofc). i've had a really tough week and it's been a little source of joy to hear your thoughts/get your messages!! hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much, i'm loving writing and posting this fic so much ❤️

taglist:

@toobsessedsstuff @granillx @keepingitlokiii @shoe1412 @quentinor @yourunstablegf @moonknight-s-cumdump @senassn @samanthacookieone @local-fanfic-addict @your-slutty-gf @whenpugzfly @elsasshole @moony-toasts @julesjewelss36 @jbcalway @mxlsmith @indec1sive @lordhavemurthy @booktvmoviefangirl @brokenghostgirl1 @competitivedust

@lostinsideourminds @gloryekaterina @uncle-eggy @astronymity @leithatnight @domaniquessidehoe @dancealongthelightofday-blog @loveslide @peqchsoup @jaguarthecat @starrynightsforever @djarinxore @rexamongthestars @babygirlrex0504 @dindjarindude @prentissluvr @hotchie360

#the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #din djarin imagine #din djarin smut #the mandalorian smut #the mandalorian imagine

[midwestmade29]

Recovery 🤕

To Anonymous: I hope you enjoy what I came up with! I appreciate you sending in your request 🥰 I wasn’t sure if you wanted any spice in it or not, so I kept it fluffy just incase 😂

No disclaimers really. Maybe a couple curse words and mentions of being injured/in pain. Read at your own discretion!

Word count: 1,099

Divider by: Me 🙂

Side note: For accuracy, I looked up some info about the injury he had and how he took care of it. The little bit I found said that he did not have surgery and just did rehab for it instead. I wanted to clarify why I wrote what I did about his injury in the story 🤪

Original anonymous request: "So we all know that all those months ago when Christian was out of action that he had to have surgery when he was injured. Anyway I can send a request about his Fiancé (Who happens to be the women’s champion at the time, I can see her having like a Dr. Britt Baker reign) taking care of her hubby while also juggling work and their kid(s) (because we all know he has Isla but it’s up to you if they have more kids than just Isla!)"

With Christian being injured, you do your best to keep things running smoothly…

Your phone started ringing in your hand as you were about to walk out of your hotel room. Your face lit up when you saw that it was Christian trying to Facetime you! He had his MRI scan this morning to see the extent of his triceps injury and was likely calling to fill you in on the details. You hated missing his appointment, but being the women’s AEW world champion, you were in high demand right now! Missing out on any appearance or promo would be harmful to the amazing run you’re on right now, so you had to show up for Dynamite tonight. Christian completely understood the position you were in and encouraged you to go, supporting you 100%. You only agreed to make the trip since it would be a short one, and Christian promised to tell you everything about his appointment. You answered the Facetime call eagerly, but your smile faded when you saw the glum look on his face. “Hi baby. I just got home from my scan, and it was about what I expected it to be. I tore my triceps.” Christian said somberly. You could hear the frustration and the gloom in his voice, and it made your heart ache. Your voice cracked slightly when you spoke, “I’m so sorry Christian! I absolutely hate that for you! Does it require surgery?!” “Surgery is an option and so is just rehabbing it. Either way I’ll be out for months with my arm in a sling. It couldn’t have happened at a worse time, you know? Maybe I could’ve been more careful or taken more precautions to protect-“ he explained, but you cut him off. “No, you’re not going down that path. I won’t let you worry about the what ifs and could have been. I wish I could make it better, but I know you’ll get through this and come back better than before. I’m with you every step of the way, no matter what! We can’t change what happened, the only thing to do now is to move forward and start planning the best return in company history!”

Seeing Christian grimace in pain nearly broke your heart watching him do his at home exercises his physical therapist told him to do. He was working his ass off trying to do whatever he needed to do to get him back at 100% faster. His determination was inspiring! “Dinner is almost ready baby! Why don’t you take a break and rest for a minute? I’ll get your plate ready for you and grab you some ice for your arm,” you called out to him from the kitchen. Christian sat down at the table with a deep scowl on his face, and you tried to lighten the mood with a joke, “Well, look at it this way, you’ll be ambidextrous by the time you’re all healed!” but it fell flat when the food he had on his fork slid off and onto the floor. He tried to bend over and pick it up but hissed through his teeth from the sudden pain that he felt from his elbow up. “Here, let me get it!” you offered. When you looked up at Christian after you picked up what he dropped, he was rubbing his eyes with his fingers. You stood and sat the dirty napkin on the table before sliding your way onto his lap. He nuzzled his face into your neck, your words seeming to comfort him when you spoke softly, “I can only imagine how irritating this is for you. Not to mention how painful it must be. I see your effort and the hard work you’re putting in, and I’m so proud of you for sticking with your physical therapy and following the doctor’s orders! I’m here for you baby. It’s okay to let me help you when you need it! In sickness and in health, remember?”

Christian rarely complained throughout his recovery. He was getting better about letting you help him, and with certain tasks he was more than happy to let you take over. You often helped him shower since he couldn’t lift or extend his arm very well, washing his hair for him and getting all the spots he couldn’t reach with a washcloth. You tried your best to work around your travel schedule so you could make sure you were at Christian’s doctor’s appointments since you still felt guilty about not being at his first one. After getting some disheartening news from his doctor, Christian had reached a breaking point. During the car ride home, he vented to you about his struggles and everything else in between. “I can’t even hug you or Isla properly! I can’t dress myself without your help, can’t play certain games or do certain activities with Isla like we used to, and I’m so sick of not being able to sleep properly because I can’t lay on this arm! The simplest of tasks are still difficult for me to do! You have extra weight on your shoulders having to take care of me and Isla all while maintaining our home and traveling with AEW. I really don’t know how you do it!”

There were many things you had to juggle being a wife, bonus mom and world champion. Most nights you were exhausted, sore from wrestling and frustrated with yourself when you didn’t get the housework done you wanted to. Your days off were filled with dr. appointments, making sure Isla was taken care of and had everything she needed, running errands, making phone calls, paying bills, and helping Christian with whatever he needed. Your most recent title defense left you with a small injury of your own, but you didn’t let it slow you down! Christian was on the mend now and getting better and stronger every day! He was incredibly thankful for your love and support through his recovery. It was nice having him next to you on the airplanes again when you traveled together for work! He eventually made his surprise return on Dynamite after being sidelined for months due to his injury. Behind the scenes when the cameras were off, he credited you for keeping him sane through it all and helping him through the difficult times. When you walked up behind him after you did a pre taping, you overheard him singing your praises to another wrestler, “I’m still not sure how she did it all! She took care of me and Isla while handling everything else in between. Y/N is a champion in and outside of the ring!”

#christian cage #jay reso #captain charisma #instant classic #christian4peeps #aew #all elite wrestling #fanfiction #fanfic #christian cage fanfic #christian cage fanfiction #aew fanfiction #Spotify

[syscourse-confessions]

sorry this is VERY long but i have to get it off my chest

the idea that you have to have DID/OSDD-1 to be any sort of multiple/plural really fucked us up and led us to misdiagnosing ourself. it led us to such a horrible place in life

i remember my anti-endo friends used to call us "the only good endo" before convincing us to self-dx. i didnt even consider myself endogenic but that didn't matter to them, anyone different from them was an endo. they wouldn't let any headmates other than our host speak anywhere except for their own dedicated channel, while every other system's alters could speak anywhere they wanted. a lot of us felt so isolated

we were pressured by our anti-endo friends to take on the label of an OSDD-1 system, despite us barely knowing a thing about the disorder. this is not how self-diagnosis should go, but we felt like we would never truly have their support if we didn't follow what they wanted us to do. they celebrated this decision and for a long while, we thought that we really did have this disorder

i remember when i found out that those friends had made a discord channel to talk about me and my systemhood behind my back, speculate about my trauma, try to pick apart our words to find any hint of amnesia, and liveblogged what i thought were private conversations i was having about my trauma and questioning systemhood. i felt so mortified and violated but i said nothing

they did this because they thought my headmates sounded "too genuine" to not be DID alters

the anti-endo community sent me down this deep spiral of shame and dissociation, life felt even more like walking through a thick fog. i was being told who i was/wasn't allowed to talk to. what experiences i did/didn't have. what words i was/wasn't allowed to use. if i did or said the wrong thing, it would make me a bad person, so i better have stayed in fucking line

communities that were supposed to be focused on trauma recovery always focused so heavily on making fun of and bullying endogenic systems and suicide-baiting. even back when i was anti-endo, i felt so uncomfortable with the extent it got to, but i was not allowed to speak out against it

i started to question my self-dx and the anti-endo community when, based on no evidence other than the types of headmates we had, some people we knew started to tell us that we must have been through a very severe type of abuse that we just... never did, in reality. they told us that we must have very severe amnesia (which we don't), so we can't trust what we know about our own experiences - they wanted us to trust THEM with what has happened with our life and what hasn't

i know. "not all anti-endos". but enough anti-endos to hurt me. and enough anti-endos to be present in every single online community i'd been a part of. and pro-endo spaces are far from perfect, but at least there's people actually fighting

when i started learning more about DID, OSDD (as a whole, not just -1), DDNOS, and UDD, and when i started learning more about non-DID/OSDD-1 experiences of plurality such as endogenic plurality, i shed the anti-endo label. i lost friends and my old communities, but i gained freedom and trust in myself, and i'm slowly starting to heal as i find newer communities who will accept us for who we are, as a non-DID/OSDD-1 adaptive plural

i'm sorry this is so incredibly long. i just..really needed this. i feel like my experiences were maybe not that bad or at least not bad enough but i was already in a very bad place so it all just affected us very much

💙.

💙 - Vent

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information. More info here: https://www.tumblr.com/syscourse-confessions/728819621058232320/disclaimer-treat-posts-here-like-you-would-any

#syscourse #syscourse confessions

[princess-of-the-corner]

Amnesia!Dabi: Actually, how’s 1-A reacting? Like, Shouto not only trusts them, he tends to overshare, they all probably know as soon as he does. How about Kats? Like, yeah they helped kidnap him/her, but then also helped him/her escape. Does Shouto immediately go to the infirmary to try & see Dabi? Like, Enji's still going through an existential crisis, Shouto's kicking the door in "Sup, fucker, you owe me three years of birthday presents!!"

Shoto: *kicks Dabi in the shin*

Dabi: "The FUCK is that for?!"

Shoto: "You ruining my love life! You kidnapped my crush! Do you have any idea how awkward family holidays are going to be now?!"

Okay no but seriously things go a /little/ slow of like.

The UA staff try to keep it quiet that two LoV members showed up on their doorstep to turn themselves in and are now being kept in custody here(UA does have the means to hold villains in custody, though rarely used. And the staff are hesitant to turn the pair over to regular jail given that Himiko is a fucked up kid and Dabi is an amnesiac so neither seems like a genuine danger. They're using the excuse of 'Recovery Girl is their doctor rn' to keep them).

Though ofc things get out a little bit but uh.... this is paralleling CC and lets just say the staff is keeping an eye on Katsuki for mental health reasons right about now so she can't exactly go the fuck off on them. 1-A is still upset about this but they do get a very rushed 'hey kids villains sometimes are just people in fucked situations and them turning themsleves in is a good sign reserve judgement and/or fury for later'.

Now the Dabi=Toya stuff goes a touch slow too. The UA staff is interrogating Dabi about things, and yeah when he mentions the amnesia they want to help. And.... like. Remember: in this au where Toya got to be a Hero, he also went to UA. They had him as a student. They might not have been friends or close to him personally, but they know him enough that they start connecting the dots even if they're a little like 'wait no way he's supposed to be dead'. They decide to bite the bullet and DNA test him and yeah no that's that's a perfect match holy SHIT

They do end up telling Dabi that they found out who he is and try to ask questions about how he escaped death, but he has no memory of that so it's just a big shrug.

After this it's the fun of explaining it to the family. And they start with Enji because that's probably better than explaining it to the kids and also he's.... Enji's just a touch paranoid so he needs to be solidly convinced that this isn't some trick that it's actually Toya, memory or not.

It doesn't take that long to do so tbh. But it is a bit of a hiccup. And then Enji gets to explain it to the rest of the family which goes. About as well as you'd expect. They're happy he's alive but concerned about the obvious fuckery he's been through and the amnesia complicates everything.

But yeah around this time is when Shoto vents about it to the class and they're like 'hey wait so that villain that kidnapped Katsuki was your fucking amnesiac brother???"

And honestly 1-A isn't quite sure how to handle that info but they're mostly just kinda supporting Shoto and how he's handling it which is. Mainly confusion.

#amnesia!dabi

[lostinwoso]

I can make a request where Alexia watched the reader play in the final and the reader ends up getting hurt to the point of using a wheelchair so the reader starts to get distant, cold and barely speaks to her for months with a lot of anguish but with a happy ending with the reader walking back and Alexia watching.

Hard Time (Alexia x Reader)

Info: Alexia has no injury in this.

Warning: Insecurities, injury leading to temporarily being in a wheelchair

The feeling of walking out into the sold out stadium is one you for sure will never forget.

Waiting for the national anthems to start, you glance around the crowd in front of you, catching the eyes of a certain Spanish player. You two just stare at each other for a moment, but when she sends a smile and wink your way, you can't help the smile spreading on your face.

Hearing your anthem play, you break eye contact, singing along to the anthem. After the anthem is finished, you shake hands with the opponent team before forming a huddle with your own for a few last encouraging words.

Walking to your positions, you once more look into the stand, noticing the same pair of eyes from before are locked on you, you send her a quick wink before the whistle signals the start of the game. Not noticing the light blush spreading along Alexia's face at being caught staring.

____________

Everyone was getting frustrated, so far the game has only been a back and forth between the two teams, no one being able to score a goal so far.

Receiving the ball you notice your teammate making a run towards the goal, sending a pass her way, you don't notice her scoring thanks to the two bodies slamming in to you.

You swear you have never felt more pain than in this exact moment, your teammates and the medics were quickly surrounding you, asking questions, but none of their words seem to reach you, as you lay in silence on the floor.

Being lifted off the ground onto the gurney lets a cry slip past your lips, alarming your teammates around you.

"Hey, you are gonna be okay, alright? You got this." Turning your head to the voice, you see it's your captain, worry clearly visible on her face. Not finding the words to respond, you just stay quiet, applause sounding through the stadium as you're being carried into the tunnel.

____________

"Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No."

_

You just arrived back in Barcelona after getting treated in the hospital in England for a few days. Alexia decided to also stay these few days longer with you, wanting to offer all the support she can.

When you found out, that you won't be able to play for a few months and needed to use a wheelchair, so everything can heal properly, doubt started claiming your mind. Doubting that you can get through this and back onto the field to play the sport you love so much again.

To Alexia's surprise you barely reacted to the news, she was expecting you to cry or anything but all you did was nod and stare off in the distance, which made her worried for the next few months that are to come.

_

Hearing her let out a sigh, you turn to look at her, "What?".

Making her way over to you, she takes a seat in front of you, reaching for your hands, "I know you are upset about this, but bottling up your feelings will only make this whole recovery thing harder."

Pulling your hands out of her grasp, you let out a scoff, "You know? No you don't! You are not the one who won't be able to play or walk for the next few months! So please just save your words, okay?"

Alexia now standing up takes a careful step towards you, "Y/N, please let me -".

"No. I would like if you'd leave right now." Noticing the pained expression in her face at your words, you turn your wheelchair around, so you don't have to look at her.

You feel her hand on your shoulder before a small kiss is being placed on your head, "If you need me, I will just be one call or text away, okay?" Not waiting for a reply, she makes her way to the door, closing it behind her.

Turning around you look at the door, this is the first time you kicked Alexia out of your apartment, and you can't help but feel bad about it, you know she just wants to help, but the whole situation is too overwhelming right now.

Feeling a tear escape from your eye, you quickly wipe it away, taking a deep breath. Turning on the TV, you hope your favorite show would be able to take your mind off the whole situation for a bit. But you quickly got lost in your thought again, not realizing that it's already nighttime.

Getting into the bed alone seemed to be an impossible task for you, after trying for a good 15 minutes, you debate asking Alexia to come over for help but after checking the time and remembering what happened earlier you decide against it. So after a few more tries and many painful movements later, you finally managed to settle into bed.

____________

It's now a few weeks later and no matter how cold you behave towards Alexia, she always comes over every day, to update you about how things are going at training and what crazy stuff the girls did that day or just random things she can think about, sometimes she would even make food for you two when you actually feel like saying something and tell her that you haven't eaten yet.

You always would just sit there and listen, but every time she mentions something that has to do with training, you feel pain spreading inside you. Not being able to play and hearing all these stories just hurts, but Alexia doesn't know, after all, you barely speak to her.

So after already having a bad day, spend of trying to fight off all these bad thoughts and feeling more pain than usual in your legs, hearing her talk about her day at training just snaps something inside of you.

"Can you please stop talking?" You interrupt her harshly. "It hurts hearing about all these things I can't do. I miss being on the field with all the girls, I miss being able to just take an evening walk through the park, without it taking me ages. I just want things to be normal again, but I'm stuck in here and have to listen about you living the normal life I had just a few weeks ago." You are full on crying at this point, your breaking point finally reached, all the bottled up emotions since that day being released.

Alexia carefully pull you into a hug, "I'm sorry Y/N, I never wanted to make you feel that way."

"I think I just need some time alone." You speak up quietly, keeping your head down.

Feeling Alexia's arms leaving you, you look up, her now crouching right in front of you, "I don't think that's a good idea, but if that's what you really want, I will give you the space."

"Thank you."

____________

Alexia kept to her word and didn't show up unless it's for your weekly trip to the store to buy groceries, she did send a text every day but not always receiving an answer and when she did, it was usually just a short one. But not wanting to push you, she respects your wish and instead offers as much support as you would allow her to.

When it was time to start working on your recovery, you wanted to share your achievements with her, but with the way you were treating her all the month, you just weren't sure how to.

So you decided to stay quiet and just do your thing and whenever she would bring up the topic of your recovery during your shopping trips, you only shared a few words about it, but you did notice the proud smile she wore whenever you told her you managed to do something new.

Even when you were able to walk by yourself again, Alexia still accompanied you to the store every week, she reasoned it with just making sure everything will go okay but in reality she was just too scared about not hearing from you otherwise.

____________

The day the trainer told you, you would be able to play again, you started crying, almost not believing that you really can join the girls on the field again. You two decided to keep it between you both, to surprise everyone at the next game.

So when in the second half a substitution was called in and the board showed your number, to say that everyone was confused would be an understanding. The first women that notices you, when you walk out the tunnel, is Jana, pointing an excited finger towards you, gaining the attention from everyone around her.

Walking towards the line, Patri pulls you into a bone crushing hug, whispering, "I'm so proud of you, you got this." before letting you go and taking a seat on the bench.

As soon as your foot hit the field, you could hear the applause around the stadium, but as soon as you lock eyes with Alexia, all the noise disappears for a moment. The proud smile, she sends your way, fills you with warmth.

____________

When the final whistle blows, you are almost immediately swarmed by your teammates, forming a big group hug. After the group hug was done, every single one of them gave you an individual hug with sweet words.

After pulling out of the hug with Mapi, you see Alexia standing a few feet away, looking at you. Taking a breath, you make your way over to her, but before you could even say anything and apologize for the last few months, she pulls you into the tightest hug you ever had.

"I'm so proud of you." she whispers, placing a kiss on your head.

"Alexia, I'm sorry for the last fe-" you start apologizing but are interrupted by her next words, "Don't. We can talk about it another time, for now let's just celebrate you, okay?"

Letting out a little sigh, you decide to agree, "Okay, but I really do want to apologize for it, so maybe over a dinner and movie night at my place?"

"Dinner and move night, I'm in!" Mapi speaks up from behind you. Turning around to face her, you start, "I wasn't..." but once again are interrupted when all the other girls agree.

"It's fine, we can do that another time, plus I know they all missed you as well." Alexia says, once again filling you with guilt about your behavior during your injury.

"I-"

"Nope, no apologizing, let's get ready now tho, Mapi probably already ordered food to your place."

Groaning at the thought of the chaotic evening that is about to happen, you make your way towards the tunnel with Alexia by your side.

Catching her looking your way every few steps, you make a silent promise to yourself to never treat the women next to you, the way you did the last few months.

#alexia putellas imagines #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #woso imagines #woso imagine #espwnt x reader

[dcmainlybillythoughts]

You can give me a name if you would like, I would love to see what you can come up with my friend.

Billy is going to have a hell of a time explaining everything to them, especially the fact that he may or may not technically sort of maybe be just a little homeless? This statement is immediately followed by the tiny feral child pulling a pocket knife when someone mentions that they can find him a nice foster home and he replies, "I am *NOT* going back in the system! *Fuck* the system, you wanna help me? Find an apartment that won't raise an eye brow at me living alone there." Billy gets Very Angry at any mentions of Foster Care and does let slip he has a living relative but "frankly the system is safer than he is."

It takes a lot of debate but Billy ends up agreeing to stay on the watch tower at least part time when he needs somewhere safe to sleep.

Took a while to respond to this one because I was brainstorming names for you. You'd think after so many OCs I'd be better at this. I don't know your pronouns so I searched a bunch of unisex names and settled on Beck, let me know if you like it, it's okay if you don't. Anyway back to the prompt-

-----

After about a week of recovery for everyone so their wounds could heal and to repair their cities, they held a meeting to get a full explanation out of the Captain. He gives his story, leaving out all the unnecessary details (aka all the things that tell people he's homeless) but then someone asks him why he was even in that alley to begin with.

Billy: Ah- wellll uhhhh

JL: ???

Billy: So as you can tell I may or may not have left some details out of that story that I was not planning to tell you but now I feel like I have to.

Batman: What is it?

Billy gradually getting quieter as a talks: I may or may not be living on the streets...

Then the whole fiasco of that reaction ensues. (Think someone had an aneurysm back there.) Til someone asks why he isn't in the foster system, they would have asked about parents first but in this profession you gotta know better.

Billy scrambling out of his chair, practically bolting away just to those words: You'll never take me back alive! They done fucked me over before, I'm not running away from the twelfth shitty home the system gives me! Or worse, they'll send me back to juvie!

Wonder Woman: Twelfth? Wait how many times have you run away from them?

(Hal) Green Lantern: Wait juvie? Kid what have you done before?

By that point when everyone else is just getting out of their chairs to give chase to the little gremlin he's halfway to the zeta beams. Poor planning though on his part, Flash was also in the meeting.

After they manage to get him to chase Billy and bring him back to the table they get a response. Of course after Billy calms down and they promise to not send him back.

Billy: Okay so the twelve families thing. I've run away and closed off eleven foster homes before. After just a few you're labeled as a troubled kid and put on watch. Eventually they stop being able to find families who want you so you either get sent to juvie or they don't care anymore and you slip through the cracks.

-----

Idk how to carry a conversation after that info dump. Would Billy actually give that much information in this kind of situation? No, probably not, he has trust issues for a reason. But I wrote it down and I don't wanna erase it now. I know it doesn't go with what you wrote in your end but I thought it was funny, forgive my rambling.

#Anon i thought about naming you Justice but it felt too cliche here #lemme know what you think #also those 11 homes were actually from the movie #ran away 28 times from a total of 11 homes #billy batson #shazam #captain marvel #dc #dc captain marvel #justice league #<3 #also he's probably been to juvie for crimes too btw

[gamebird]

Murderathin Rec List

As compiled by the denizens of the New Tideland MB/G channel! The greatest hits of TMBD's most popular frenemy ship - the fics that got us into it, and the fics we made because of it. "PR" are quotes from us as we talked back and forth about what was awesome about the fic, or from AO3 comments. All works are complete except Enemies, Closer.

The Long Emergency by murderbot Words: 56,866 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: Trapped on the survey planet when the last emergency beacon fails, Murderbot and the PreservationAux team scramble to survive deadly fauna, cruel weather, scarce resources, and GrayCris's armed hunting parties. In a grueling ordeal spanning two planetary years, Murderbot becomes closer to its humans than it ever thought possible. PR: “the absolute ur-Murderathin fic”, “an absolute stunner”, “that’s the one that got me into the ship”, "This fic is amazing! Murderbot's voice and everyone's characterizations were so on-point, and all of the details of their survival on this planet and the action scenes were so well-fleshed out.", "The first MB/G fic on AO3!"

Recollection by murderbot Words: 30,753 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: SecUnit and Gurathin agree to be married, temporarily, for ease of travel during an assignment. After a violent encounter and a bad wormhole jump, they crash land on a habitable planet and discover their entire ship is suffering from amnesia. Nobody remembers anything from their past. The ship's records are badly scrambled. The planet is too far for anyone to reach safely. When Gurathin and SecUnit find the record that indicates they are married, they build a life together as marital partners, not knowing their union is based on a lie. PR: “I love pain”, “It absolutely broke me”, “still haunts me”, “wonderful”, " I'm so full of bittersweet emotions", "I was this close to crying for a few chapters, and the ending was perfect."

Enemies, Closer by Abacura, Gamebird, IHopedTheredBeStars, opalescent_potato, Rosewind2007, theAsh0 Words: 104,478 (WIP) Rating: Teen and Up Summary: When a Combat SecUnit with identical genetics to Murderbot is sent to Preservation Station to commit a massacre, the delicate balance between Murderbot, ART, and Dr. Gurathin shifts, putting all four of them on a collision course. PR: “a wonder and a delight”, “my favorite one”, "Rock-Paper-Scissors dom dynamics in which ART is the secret fourth option, Dynamite", "Can't wait for more!", "A monumental collaboration!"

Boots by opalescent_potato Words: 5,762 Rating: General Audiences Summary: Murderbot learns a little more than it wanted to about Gurathin's mysterious past. PR: “such a great, quiet study in emotional intimacy and shared trauma. Also has an absolutely amazing Oh. Oh no moment.”, "this feels like the realest depiction of poverty trauma I've ever seen in fanfic", "Info dumping as a love language. Learning self care from the most particular human."

Boots by gnomeskillet Words: 2,797 Rating: General Audiences Summary: "I'm going to fix your boots," he explained, talking to me like I was a small human child that didn't know anything. At least he kept his eyes on the floor while he did it. "They're a mess and if you want them to last longer, then you need to take care of them." PR: “this entire fic got me", "Omg who knew shoe shines could be so full of tension??", "This was sort of in kink no man's land, in between the barbed wire embankments of desire and fulfillment."

No Peace/No Rest by IHopedTheredBeStars Words: 4,363 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: Though Dr Gurathin eventually accepts the addition of SecUnit a.k.a. Murderbot to PreservationAux, and even assists in its recovery & rehabilitation after the corporate gunship debacle, he never warms up to it like the others do—at least according to our unreliable narrator, Murderbot itself! Let’s assume Murderbot is right this time. So what’s up with that?? This story takes place (chronologically) after Fugitive Telemetry and just before Network Effect. PR: “an excellent MB&G fic”, "So many fantastic ideas in here", "This is such a great look at grappling with the guilt of having taken a life, and being stripped of that comforting denial that it wasn't a person."

Mutually Trusted Network Affiliates by Gamebird Words: 16,517 Rating: Explicit Summary: Murderbot finds itself in a dilemma. It has discovered Gurathin likes it and decides it has to do something about this. This one's for the shippers. PR: “a cornerstone Murderathin fic, but it low-key requires reading pretty much the entirety of the Gamebird cinematic universe”, "MB a chapter ago: Ew, no! We didn't have sex! MB now, gazing derisively at Gurathin's sex toy suggestions: What is this shit? Are we fucking or are we fucking?", "using these characters to explore alternate modes of sexuality and explore what intimacy means, as itself, when divorced from the usual biological drives and cultural frameworks is brilliant"

Gurathin’s Side of the Story by Gamebird Words: 51,849 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: A retelling of The Murderbot Diaries from Gurathin's point of view. PR: “An incredible character study that adds so much depth to Gurathin. The reader falls in love with him every step of the way (and Murderbot does too)”, "There are so many moments where this story just drop-kicks me with how real it is.", "a lovely view into Gurathin‘s CR background, augments, and his soft belly under that armadillo shell."

It Was Only A Kiss by Gnomeskillet Words: 2,102 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: Frustrated and desperate, Murderbot hauls Gurathin into an alleyway and makes out with him in order to avoid Station Security. Hey, it has a 100% success rate in media! PR: “excellent”, “Incredibly sexy and very sweet.”, "Dom Murderbot absolutely wrecking Gurathin while not really knowing what the hell it's doing is my favorite flavor"

Pressing Down On Me, Pressing Down On You by Gnomeskillet Words: 1,061 Rating: Not Rated Summary: I was just thinking about MB pressing down on Gurathin's augments like how ART presses down on MB in the feed, and I like thinking about MB being tsundere about taking care of its least favorite augmented human. It doesn't LIKE Gurathin, he's just less annoying this way. PR: “ahhh yes this one was absolutely one of the ones that made me go OHHHH. It made me so invested in their relationship”, "Poor Gurathin doesn't know what he's getting into, good thing Murderbot is so nice XD", "I love the idea of cuddling in the feed."

Just to Suffer the Pressure by Chyoatas Words: 2,113 Rating: Explicit Summary: He was already out of breath when he let his hand press to his throat. (That hadn’t been in the original plan. This was already too close- too fraught. It was already embarrassing enough (and hotter for it, but he wouldn’t admit it.)) PR: “Okay we were all thinking it. There are not nearly enough fics where Murderbot erotically asphyxiates Gurathin.”, "this is insanely good holy shit", "unhinged screaming I can't form words, this is everything I want it to be"

Murderathin NSFW Zine Comic by Chyoatas Words: 1,069 Rating: Explicit Summary: My NSFW comic from the Murderbot Diaries NSFW Zine! Alternative text description of the comic is embedded in the images. PR: "So hot!", "sweet, naughty, and snarky", "So much thought went into this. The closer I look, the more details pop out at me!"

Purr by Rosewind2007 Words: 3,448 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: I saw a post by someone saying: “Wouldn’t it be nice if humans could just purr, like cats. You could let people know you were happy without talking about your feelings or anything...” And I thought: it’d be nice if Murderbot could purr. So, here you are. PR: “Ah yes, my favorite trope. Murderbot purring when it's happy!”, "MB your friends care about you!", "This was adorable and I loved it"

Sex Pollen by Rosewind2007 Words: 7,240 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: Atypical human and para-human courtship behaviors and coitus triggered by xeno-floral microgameteophytes Abstract: Twenty four (24) subjects were exposed to xeno-floral microgameteophytes (XFM). Atypical behaviors were recorded by all but two (2). PR: “the yearning”, “I love watching Murderbot and Gurathin dance around each other in this. Both trying so hard to be normal and just internally yearning to be close to each other. The longing is so palpable!”

Bundling by Rosewind2007 Words: 18,348 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: It was a stupid accident. We’d identified the presence of space debris in this sector, including pieces large enough to deflect the course of a small transport; but my Risk Assessment Module was happily burbling in the low teens (it really needs replacing, but I’m quite fond of its optimism now) and ART had calculated the risk of an actual collision as approximately 1 in 159,753. But of course we were that one. And of course the client I was with would be that one.  PR: "And thereby, Murderbot, SecUnit, discovered it loved itself.", " A wonderful story", "That last line is just so perfect"

The Corporate and the Construct by beeayy Words: 87,919 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: Bots and constructs have taken over the Corporate Rim. When PreservationAux is captured sneaking into AI-controlled space, someone must stay behind with the sophisticated bot-pilot that remembers a lot less than it thinks it does, and the rogue SecUnit with more anxiety and depression than anyone knows. PR: “my favorite AU”, “fantastic”, “An amazing AU. Great marriage of Fairy Tale elements with Robot Overlords.”, "This fic was such an amazing ride", "I had emotions and cried at the last chapter. Good job!"

I Hate The Way I Don’t Hate You by beeayy Words: 53,345 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: Murderbot hates Gurathin, though the reason changes on a daily basis. PR: "I love this whole thing", "These two ridiculous assholes *always* end up meeting in the middle", "I love fake marriage fics  especially when it's enemies to lovers."

Maintenance Protocol by Abacura Words: 5,762 Rating: Explicit Summary: I’m worried about SecUnit. This isn’t the first time I’ve caught it making a face that looks like it's in pain. I worry that it isn’t taking care of itself, that without a cubicle, it needs maintenance that it isn’t telling us about. I wish it would tell me. I wish it would let me take care of it. I could take such good care of it. PR: “smoking hot, I wholeheartedly recommend”, "The maintenance was so perfect and then it was done and I figured so was the fic but holy fuck (literally)", "This is the good stuff. This is perfect."

Fuckboy Strategy by The_Onion Words: 6,203 Rating: Not Rated Summary: 'Can you know you don’t like something without trying it?' I'd texted Ratthi. He responded, 'Sure! But trying things out is always a good idea :D' which I am sure he would not have said if he’d known what I was talking about. // Murderbot explores idioms, the ethics of ghosting, and its own sexuality. PR: “Ah yes, my favorite trope. Murderbot being an absolute bull in the china shop of Gurathin’s heart.”, "so good and so funny i am beside myself", "made me laugh out loud"

Construct, Social by kiwisson Words: 1,852 Rating: General Audiences Summary: Late-night human behavior discussions with your favorite deadly weapon. PR: “the vibes are really good”, “Perfect tag is perfect: You Jerks Talk A Lot For People Who Hate Each Other”, “a fascinating example of the first tagged MB&G which shows many themes already emerging!”

Imperfect Reactions by xianvar Words: 1,324 Rating: Teen and Up Summary: It’s a normal evening with friends – easy laughter, Bharadwaj stopping by to chat, Gurathin and Murderbot sniping at each other, Murderbot letting Gurathin tease it… wait, what? PR: “exterior POVs are always SO good”, "there's so many little characterizations in this fic and its really delightful!", "Adorable!"

#the murderbot diaries #murderathin

[koki-hai]

WRITING REQUEST/ROLEPLAY RULES!!!

Haii! I take requests to write Danganronpa fics, mostly one shots but it depends on how I feel.

(Please note if you request something it might take time bc I have a life outside tumblr, thank you:))

(I'll edit this as I go on)

Request Prompt

Firstly, I DO NOT write cc x reader, to get out of the way.

Anyway If you want to request one shots, lemon, whatever, make sure you tell me each role of each character and the scenario you want them to be in. You can be vague on purpose too if you want! However if you want a specific way for it to go give me a plot and I'll do the rest. Maybe give some details like place, plot, kink, etc. This isn't required but it helps me flesh out the writing itself.

Characters I will write/play!!!!

I might be adding more to this list but this is just the ones I'll probably have the most passion for to write the most!

Makoto Naegi

Byakuya Togami

Hajime Hinata

Izuru Kamukura

Nagito Komeada

Gundham Tanaka

Kazuichi Soda

Shuichi Saihara

Kokichi Ouma

Gonna Gokuhara

K1-B0

Miu Iruma

Ships I will write/play!!!!

Kokichi x Shuichi

Kokichi x Kiibo

Kokichi x Gonta

Komichi x Miu

Miu x Kiibo

Kokichi x Nagito

Nagito x Hajime

Nagito x Izuru

Nagito x Makoto

Togami x Makoto

Gundham x Kazuichi

Gundham x Makoto

Stuff/Kinks I will write/play!!!!

(⚠️!!!content warning!!!⚠️)

- tickling (SFW/NSFW)

- non-con/rape

-Aftercare

- Body possession/ghost possession

- Mind control/hypnotism

- Monster fucking

- Tentacles

- Electrocution/tazer

- Drug use (strictly to roofie someone)

- Bugs and insects

- Restraints

- Kidnapping

- Injections

- Nipple play

- Somnophilia

- Humiliation

- Abusive relationships recovery

- Nekos, Furry ears/tails (cat/dog/bunny boys)

- Giantess (to a degree.. but I prefer pussy insertion)

- Gore (not a kink but i will write gore stuff if requested)

Stuff I will NOT write/play!!!!

(I won't change my mind so don't even try asking!)

- cc x oc

- cc x reader

- feet (includes the tickling part)

-public humiliation (sorta a spectrum but just hit me up and I'll see what works)

- Scat

- Piss

- Farting

- Feeder

- Inflation

- Diaper stuff

- Incest

- Full fur anthros

- vore

- zoophilia

- necrophilia

Roleplay Info

If you want to roleplay, you can ignore the request prompt. If you friend me on discord let me know you're coming from Tumblr! The characters I'll play and ships I do are the same! The limits apply here as well. One thing to note is i probably won't do any gore rp since I'm new to writing that in general. If I am comfortable I'll definitely edit this here! I'm semi-literate to literate. If you want to do more that's fine with me! I'll try to match your style just not like 2-3 sentences. (With Some exceptions like long term rp and if I generally have the time for)

#danganronpa roleplay #kokichi oma #danganronpa #writing #writing rules #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #gonta gokuhara #izuru kamukura #nagito komaeda #kazuichi souda #makoto naegi #gundham tanaka #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa keebo #danganronpa kiibo #saiouma #requests #monster #mind control #content warning #danganronpa smut #nagito smut #kokichi smut #kiibo #miu iruma #shuichi smut #i do not condone any of these things irl obv this is just for writing purposes only #roleplay

[hematomes]

HI as most of you know last month my genshin account was hacked and it was one of the most stressful situations of my life, essentially because I did not know what to do at first. Recently I've seen people going through that too, so I thought I'd try and help them out. Also added preventive measures in case it happens, because you need a fair amount of information to prove its your account.

This comes from my personal experience and also compiles advice from the subreddit r/GenshinHacked. I'd advise against looking elsewhere because Twitter threads are a confusing mess full of contradictory info, and this subreddit is really well-done. You can directly see other people's experiences and they answer rather quickly when you make a post so!!

Also I'm severely sleep deprived right now so english hard. Obviously reblogs are very much appreciated since it's to help the community but you know. Whatever let's get into it

1. What NOT to do

- DO NOT try to buy it back. This is actually the reason I'm putting this guide together, because I've seen people buy their account back and, seriously, don't. Buying an account is against the ToS and could result in your account being banned, which is way worse than hacked because then you most likely won't get it back. Additionally, it doesn't mean the hacker won't somehow steal it again. There's no security, you'd be depending on the asshole who literally stole your account. Do not. Do that.

- DO NOT buy accounts in general. It doesn't do any good. Like I said it's against the ToS and exposes you to it getting banned or even, in the worst case, sued by Hoyoverse. Most accounts put to sale are also stolen accounts, btw. There's at least half a dozen websites dedicated to selling and buying accounts, and a shit ton of them are stolen. It's not worth it, even if the account has your fave 5* character(s) c6r5.

- DO NOT contact the hacker or, if your account has been bought, the buyer. This will just increase the chance of it getting trashed, weapons and artifacts destroyed etc. Make sure to tell your friends not to contact them either even if they want to, it's extremely important. Even when you get your account back, just block everyone from the friendlist that you don't recognize and, if someone joins your world on behalf of the buyer, block them too. I don't co-op often but I did get like half a dozen of co-op requests after getting my account back.

- DO NOT attempt to hack it back. It could result in a much worse state, e.g your account being banned. Also if you fail, higher chance of getting your account trashed.

- DO NOT assume the worst. This is mostly for your own mental health. There's a good chance your account was bought or at least the hacker's trying to sell it, so deleting weapons and artifacts would be stupid. And even if they do (which sucks), keep in mind that you'd still have your characters. If you end up with no artifacts and are on the EU server, send me an ask or a dm and I'll help you farm them back for as long as it takes! /srs

2. What to do INSTEAD

- Allow yourself to panic. It's a really stressful thing to go through, so it's only natural to be distressed. I cried for hours, man. It's okay, you'll be fine, but for now just let it happen.

- Immediately go to the aforementioned subreddit r/GenshinHacked, specifically the menu tab, and click "Recovery Form Guide". You can also reach it directly using this link: Recovery Form Guide. It tells you how to get the form, and every step of the process. Don't hesitate to make a post asking for help, they're really sweet and understanding. However if anyone contacts you through dms or even comments about some random guy being able to get it back, ignore it. It's a scam.

- Follow each step carefully, and wait. It typically takes 5-10 working days to get a response from hoyoverse, sometimes less and sometimes more. It's hard, but you can't really do anything about it. I'd say distract yourself with something else but that shit did not work for me. Just know you're not the only one going through that and I'm mentally hugging you.

- Don't give up. It can take a few tries to get it back, but as long as you have the necessary informations and can prove it's your account, you'll get it back.

3. Preventive mesures

- Don't give anyone information on your account, unless you trust them. If someone joins your world and offers to buy you a welkin, a battle pass or even just crystals but need your info to buy it, it's a scam. There's an affiliate website to gift crystals to other players - and I think you only need their UID), so they can go through there if they're sincere.

- Only buy crystals directly from Hoyoverse or affiliated websites. Same with your info.

- Install Malwarebytes on your device and let it check it for malwares. If there's anything, even if you haven't been hacked yet, completely reset your device and change your passwords.

- Enable 2FA (two-factor authentication) on your hoyolab account AND your e-mail address. I use the app Authy, so far it's been working great. I can't vouch for any other. For the hoyolab account, you can link your phone number for example.

- Collect the following information on your account:

The date you created your account. You can verify it by logging into Genshin. Menu > Character Archives > Amber. Bottom right you'll see the day you acquired her, which typically corresponds to the date you created the account.

The device you created your account with, with information about it. The form usually says what they need, and the guide from r/GenshinHacked also help. Keep it safe!

The receipt for your first top-up, if you're not f2p. A screenshot of the e-mail will suffice as far as I know (I use Google Pay tho so I'm not sure how it works for other payment options).

Information on the device you play the most with. The form is pretty clear about it.

Additional information you can get now: 5* characters (with the day you obtained them + constellations), 5* weapons (with the date you obtained them + refinements), event weapons, which characters you picked from the Liyue Lantern Rite these past 2 years (NOT absolutely necessary, I didn't add that). You can provide screenshots of getting the characters and weapons with the UID visible, but keep in mind that these can be forged so it's not fool-proof.

I got reasonably lucky: they answered in roughly a week and my form was accepted on the first try, essentially because I provided the information mentioned above. If you can access it, keep it somewhere safe.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact help #idk how to tag it. i don't want to clog the tags #anyway yeah hackers suck and i hope they die #important

[trans-axolotl]

hi, i wanted to ask if possible (I'm sorry if this is a little invasive!) but what treatment program did you go to? I'm looking for some and I'm receiving mixed singles right now..

hey! I'm comfortable talking about it. I'm assuming you're talking about the eating disorder treatment program I went to, not the other psych wards I've been to, but let me know if you meant something else.

I went to the Eating Recovery Center in Washington. i have a lot of mixed feelings on it. i really hate the entire structure of residential treatment and think that it is inherently carceral and coercive. ERCWA was a really restrictive treatment program, we were on a locked ward in a medical center, there were a lot of shitty + abusive staff, and there was just so much bullshit the entire time, like having no privacy in the bathroom, no doors on the bedrooms, barely being able to go outside, having so much of what we said and did monitored, the fucked up ways they used NG tubes, a really ableist psychiatrist, etc. treatment was pretty standard CBT, DBT, ACT, RODBT, random "skills groups" that felt like a waste of time with a lot of therapists and interns who had no previous therapy experience. I got medically stabilized through that program and was able to achieve pretty sustainable changes in my disorderly eating, but i really credit that more to the peer support then to any of the actual "treatment."

But compared to some other programs i don't think it was the worst. You can have your phone all day which was a huge benefit to me, since most programs take your phone. while i was there they had a dietitian who accommodated custom ARFID menus--she doesn't work there anymore, but they probably still do ARFID menus. they had multiple trans staff members and let me stay on hormones. they also don't kick you out for self harming and can handle a higher level of medical complications. ERCWA is run slightly different then some of the other ERC locations though, and I've heard a lot worse stories about other ERC locations. this info is all only true for adult wards as well--i would not recommend ERC for teens. i don't really know if i would recommend ERCWA at all to people but i think there is some things that made it more tolerable then some other treatment centers, and that if you have some specific needs, it might be one of the only treatment centers that can accommodate some things.

sorry, i feel like this isn't a super helpful answer, but i just have so much anger towards residential treatment and have a hard time recommending any places, even though i don't think ERCWA is the worst option.

if you have any more questions I'm happy to answer--i can also post old photos and videos that show my room, schedule, etc. i also have a lot of friends at a variety of different treatment centers and can answer questions about some other centers if you have any.

sending you the best of luck anon, I hope you're able to find the support and care that you need <3

#asks #eating disorder tw #residential treatment #also if the other mutuals who have been to ercwa want to add on feel free. #ik we all had different experiences there. i feel like the general consenus was like “yeah it sucks. some other places suck worse” #i wish so deeply there were more alternatives so that we weren't forced into a place where res is our only option #but always happy to try to help people navigate like. which options are the least shitty. what the pros and cons are. what the specific inf

[space-station-nursery]

🛰️⸝⸝Welcome to the Space Station Nursery 🪐

☆ ・Personal info ! ˖ ˒

🦊Little Dipper︰Hi! im Finn, also Finnegan, finny fox, fishy finn, and more to my closest friends and moots! Im 21 and my pronouns are They/Them! My timezone is CST. I like Bubby, jay, baking and cooking, playing games, reading (by myself and with bubby) making decor stuff and making custom things! Blues clues !!! if you see a blues clues ask from an anon, its probably me.

Dislikes︰I HATE Bugs, bugsbugsbugs. Being confronted(confrontation), purposely being misgendered, having my boundaries disrespected, bubby or jay being purposely misgendered, bugs and uh-…. i think thats it lol

🦌 Big Dipper︰Hi im FD, im 21 (22 in august) and my pronouns are He/Him. My timezone is MST. I LOVE BABI BEAR, our friends, gaming, cars, anything that has moving parts, reading and watching crime stuff, watching movies and playing games with babi and our friends, and really love the flash as well!

Dislikes︰I dont like icky people coming to talk to babi and i (i dont really like talking to people in general), People misgendering babi or my friends or being rude towards them, and i dont like when people disrespect my boundaries I also dont like the idea of sitters because so many people in the community that we have encountered have bad intentions, but there's nothing else i can think of rn

☆ ・Space station boundaries ! ˖ ˒

Combined︰We are engaged and not seeking romantic or platonic littles/cgs! Dms open for anyone +16 or -26. If interested, interact with our posts, as random messages can be uncomfortable. If you would like to be moots/friends, please at least interact with our posts first

🦊Little Dipper︰Please use tonetags when directing asks towards me. Please Ask before DM-ing me on my personal blog @babis-little-corner and i will let you know! If you notice I interact with something not SFW, please let me know! Do not use any nicknames in asks/dms unless we are close/moots. My CG doesn't appreciate people we are not close with trying to call me things like "little one" "cutie" etc, and quite Franky neither do I...

🦌 Big Dipper︰Please Do not ask me to be your cg, I’m Happily caring for Finn and only Finn, I don’t have all that many boundaries just don’t do anything that’s gonna upset Finn and you’re alright with me!

☆ ・Dark Matter DNI ! ˖ ˒

Whats a DNI? These are "Do not interact" boundaries, this means that if your blog meets any of these criteria you may be blocked\banned\removed from a persons socials. Below are my DNI's so make sure to read them!

・Are anti-agere/agedre(or petre/petdre), an NSFW blog/"SFW" kink blogs like Dd!g/abd!/md!b and other variants. Are an 18+ only blog, Terf, etc. Anything that you would not show a child does not belong here ・Bigoted individuals or peoples that believe in Anti-LGBTQIA+, Pro-ana, Pro-SH, Anti-recovery, MIKs or MAPs, Extreme left/right views, Pro-life, Pro-war, transmed, Pro-mia, Anti-Neos/Xenos. ・Over the age of 27. While you could be a regression blog, and completely SFW, individuals over the age of 27 can become a trigger due to my PTSD. Minors are always welcome, although we will most likely not follow back ・Are a blank blog. This means no banner, profile pictures, posts or names. Blogs like those tend to become a problem and we don't wish to deal with it.

We will block liberally

☆ ・Rover Regression info ! ˖ ˒

🦊 Little Dipper︰I am a flip-leaning regressor, regressing from 0-4. I am a sleepy but bubbly regressor, mostly using items like pacifiers. Despite my trauma, I can regress for small periods of time while assisted, but its a great start and hopefully when FD and I live together it'll boost my regression more!

🦌 Big Dipper︰I am Finns CG, and I love my babi bear! I do everything I can to make sure they feel safe and comfy here when regressing, as well as when they aren't

Sitter views︰We do not see sitters as something either of us would want to be apart of unless it was us sitting for/being sat by someone we know very well. My current sitter is @sleeplessjunkie Who generally just regresses with me when bubby is gone while we play games !!!! We will either talk a lot or not at all, and thats ok bc talk is hard! (we're both autistic)

☆ ・Solar System Sillies ! ˖ ˒

Posting schedule ish︰(Finn has a problem with keeping ideas up, so im going to try and reduce the amount of things being posted by me!)

✩⸜⸜ Affirmation Monday ✩⸜⸜ Text post Tuesday ✩⸜⸜ Worksheet Wednesday ✩⸜⸜ Reblog Thursday ✩⸜⸜ Funday Friday ✩⸜⸜ Something Saturday ✩⸜⸜ Reblog Sunday

Our anon list!︰✨, (☀🐝), 🩷

Send us an ask to claim an emoji and show up here! <3

Linkies!︰

Pronouns Page ⸜⸜ Finns pronouns Instagram ⸜⸜ Rainy Day Paci's Agere twitch ⸜⸜ Alphabet Soup Blues playhouse (discord)⸜⸜ Discord.gg/BluesClues Dino Lovers (discord)⸜⸜ Discord.gg/DinoLovers

🛰️ ⸜ ⸜ Thank you for reading! - The space station team ! (tags below)

#new pinned #✩⸜⸜babi posts 💫 for posts by finn #✩⸜⸜bubby posts 🏎️ for posts by bubby (fd) #✩⸜⸜bubbys happy homework 🦖 for worksheet posts #✩⸜⸜nursery positivity 🌞 for positivity/affirmation/selfcare posts #✩⸜⸜agere reports 📢 reports about users that break dni or are unsafe for the community #✩⸜⸜Babi answers 🚀 - For answers from babi! #✩⸜⸜Bubby answers 🌵 - For answers from bubby! #✩⸜⸜Finns funs 🪐- For all mood/stimboards and other funs #✩⸜⸜Nursery Asks 🛰️ - For ask posts/answer posts for multi usage! #✩⸜⸜Reblogs 📖 #age regression #agere community #sfw age regression #sfw agere #age regressor #autistic agere #age re safe space #agere blog #age dreaming #agere #pinned intro #pinned info #read pinned #pinned post #intro #ageregression #age regression blog #age regression caregiver #age regression community

[distortedwhite]

sits down. hello enstarries i'm here to let everyone know the worst experience i've ever had with game account recovery. literally even aichuu was easier than whatever this fuckery is

(tweeter thread)

let me provide a little backstory first. everyone here knows i Love enstars—jpstars specifically. i grew up playing !-era enbasic, am still playing !!-era enbasic, and play the japanese version of enmusic as well. when engstars first released i gave it a try, got bigbang subaru and conquest hiyori, somehow became a vice prez for the society i'm in (and still get to mod for even months after quitting engstars. if anyone here needs an active society, contact me or toribuns on tweeter :DDD), got link click kouchan and mika... i was pretty happy with my account.

however, i quickly lost interest in engstars, since jpstars is my one and only love LOL but i kept engstars on my phone in case i wanted to return to it. and i did return to it! i played the campaign that ran during the secret swan gacha just to see if i could get natsume (i didn't ftr www)

and back i went to ignoring engstars for 476534 years. and that's where my personal problem arises. you see, i never linked my account to a tweeter acc, or google acc, or email, or whatever. my thought process was like "why would i need to do that? i still have engstars on my phone, and it isn't gonna randomly kick me from my own account right. RIGHT???" but that's precisely what happened. i opened engstars because i needed some info from the new spotlight event for the wiki, only to see engstars just kicked me out.

ofc i go "OH SHIT. I never linked my acc to anything." so i check support and they don't have Anything on account recovery. but they Do have something on data transfer :D it requires me to have a new engstars account in order for them to do the transfer, so i make a new account. and let me just tell you. fuck the engstars tutorial. legitimately, fuck the engstars tutorial.

after 4753835 years i escape tutorial containment and fill out the rest of the support form, which included your typical "lost account" miseries. ("how the fuck am i supposed to know what my rank is. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ANYTHING......") eventually i do manage to fill the form and send it off. waiting game.

(also i still cannot believe engstars is an Official thing. it feels so fanmade and unprofessional. typos and spacing issues, And the app won't even let me scroll down further to read whatever it says on the second screenshot. i assume it says "Problem solving in progress" but me not able to scroll down in order to read it is bad design)

a day later—which, kudos to engstars support team, i did not expect them to only take a day—i receive a response saying they did find my account! but they also said my account was linked to a tweeter account that doesn't match the one my new engstars account—yknow, the one that they needed me to make to transfer data—is linked to.

i was pretty surprised because damn i had no idea my account was actually connected to something but okay! engstars support wanted me to switch tweeter accounts in order for me to do some.... authorization... things... seriously i can't read their response. revoking my kudos because i'd rather have a legible response than a quick one

ANYWAY i try...??? to log in with a different tweeter account, but engstars won't let me, so i go directly into tweeter and revoke engstars access permissions. and after that? i expected to get back to the tweeter log in screen, but instead engstars won't even give me that, telling me that the login failed after tapping the "Login with Twitter" button.

guys i'm so tired. but i'm doing my best. link click kouchan. i go clear app data for engstars, and after opening the app again, the support ticket i got was still there which is nice. i also get the tweeter log in screen again, nice. i also don't even get to log in because whatever browser engstars is using, it doesn't have javascript enabled so tweeter doesn't do anything :)))) i have to back out of the page, bringing me back to engstars and the, by now, very familiar "login failed" pop-up

that's where the story more or less ends? pauses? someone on the wiki server suggested to try login on the pc version so i let it do its downloading thing while i sat here writing this LOL it's done now. time to try that.

forgot the password for the account i was trying to get into DSGHSJDG anyway tweeter blocked my attempts because i had too many wrong ones. how long does it take until i can try again. whatever i'll end this post here... tell all your friends to keep your accounts safe because this is an absolute shitshow.

#ran talks nonsense #enstars #engstars #ensemble stars