#im glad to be alive

[fivefeather]

i hope i am forever grateful for where i am and what i have in life

#fivefeather #im glad to be alive #im going up to the sun

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack #imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother #random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother #bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was #but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that? #anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week #this has been weighing on me for ten years #im almost tempted to blaze this post

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[ato-dato]

HANDS UP!!! YOURE UNDER ARREST!!!!

#a Little furfur doodle #to prove I’m still alive #im done with commas for now so I’ll have more time to draw go stuff!! #Orange you glad #anyway #furfur #good omens furfur #demon furfur #good omens 2 #good omens fanart #good omens #good omens season 2 #doodle #art #artwork #my art #fanart #digital art #drawing #comic #fan comic

[cryptar]

au where ALL the batkids inherit bruces adopting problem, but it's for kids that remind them of themselves

When a hyper-intelligent juvenile figures out his identity and starts following him around on patrol the only thing Tim can think is that this is karma

Steph sees any spunky kid with a villain parent and a hunger for justice and goes 'mine.'

An angry, bitter kid shows up at the police station and Dick immediately starts teaching them how to juggle

Jason reiterates to himself that he's not anything like bruce while collecting crime alley kids like pokemon cards

The little redheaded techie from Barbaras workplace accidently calls her mom and she nearly cries

When a mute youth with a truly horrible father needs a place to call home, Cass doesn't hesitate when inviting them into hers.

it only makes sense for Duke to take the new meta-vigilante under his wing, right? right??

Damian doesn't realise he's mentally adopted the small, scruffy assassin sent after him until he's reading them a bedtime story.

none of them tell eachother until there's a family reunion and then it's just

#alfred thinks its funny and bruce is so smug #alfreds alive btw that man will outlive all of us #batman #batfam #batkids #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #dick grayson #damian wayne #duke thomas #jason todd #tim drake #ill legit make fankid ocs for this au istg i love it #edit: im glad people are enjoying the spiderman meme #i worked hard on that >:] #prompt #cryptic ramblings

[bytebun]

my piece for @thecodywanzine! thanks to the mods who let me go completely ham and cheese on this bad boy. this one's about living longer than you ever expected and not knowing what to do with it

#they're having a leftover sale with free shipping if you want a ridiculous amount of art and merch for an insanely low price #codywan #commander cody #obi-wan kenobi #star wars #comics #codywan zine #i went kinda nuts with the sun symbolism on this one. even i feel like its hamfisted but like listen am i not going to self-indulge #if not in a shipping zine piece then where #hope and love and the sun and etc can be an. omelette. spanish omelette specifically. that you share with your fambly #food cw #its also about looking at your best friend over a table and going. i lvoe you. i love you. i want to spend the rest of my life with you #i want to see the future with you. im so glad we're both alive even though i thought we'd both be dead by now #bytebun draws #lets not talk about the way there is zero consistency in my art style. <3

[eviltext]

the laios-proximity disgust meter

#dunmeshi #new chapter was great lots of good faces old and new #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi #laios touden #not gonna tag anyone else #more than anything im just glad doni and fionil are alive and well (?)

[localapparently]

YOOHANKIM RAAAGHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHH UGRHGRHGR I ughh i just ugh i love them so MUCH i love them i want them to be happy so bad

#not to be dramatic but im so glad i am alive at this point in time so i could read their story #i used to think id be so much happier if i was living in the world of pokemon but if the pokemon world didnt have orv novel then i wouldnt #wanna go anymore #orv #omniscient readers viewpoint #omniscient reader #omniscient reader fanart #orv fanart #kim dokja #kdj #han sooyoung #yoo joonghyuk #yhk #yoohankim #joongdok #yoohan #doksoo #crit's art: orv

[dreamychaika]

my senses (= browsing the johnkat tag daily) are detecting a real small scale johnkat revival! we are all so cool lets keep em coming! :D posting a thing from a drawpile session with friends in celebration of that

#fun little fact: im listening to the communism quest OST from disco elysium as im uploading this #homestuck #johnkat #john egbert #karkat vantas #genuinely so glad to see the tag become so alive lately

[leiandroid]

my the last/blank period redesigns of ino hinata and kiba !

ino is wearing shorts under the dress :-) and hina's is a bit of a fusion of all her outfits + hyuuga style. kiba keeps the same elements just shifted to the left and gains +100 scars

#ino yamanaka #hinata hyuga #hinata hyuuga #kiba inuzuka #my art #leiandroid #happy with these ! #i attempted this yrs ago but they werent as good #kibas hasnt changed tho #barely #NARUTO #the embroidery is a tribute to neji even though neji is alive and truly well #im glad we all agree

[pariskim]

#i am so glad to be alive im cryinggggg. need to hold this feeling onto myself for later

[thekidsarentalright]

what a time to be alive!

#god this. took me so long and was so meticulous to make fjdndkd i hope u all like it <33 please fjdndk #regardless this idea has been brewing in my head since the song came out so im glad to have gotten it done :3 #txt #c.txt #fob #fall out boy #fobedit #so much (for) stardust #what a time to be alive #p: 100

[dieselhound-fr]

○ BEHEMOTH ○

#diesel speaks #flight rising #fr #my art #gaoler #gaoler dragon #behemoth #this guy's portrait was LOOOOONG overdue im so glad i finally got around to drawing him #also i prommy im still alive everything has just been A Lot recently <3

[kolbasos]

i wish borderlands fandom was alive...

#jk its more fun to draw random trash and get zero disaprooval #except random haters lol #uk what i mean #im glad that some people r still alive here and do stuff

[queen0fm0nsterz]

A few days ago I went to visit my grandpa, as I haven't seen him in a few months.

He's on his death bed; his time is fast approaching. I saw it in his eyes. They looked glassy.

My father warned me that it wouldn't have been pretty to see him like that. I wasn't expecting it to be. He's been sick a while and my dad has been taking care of him almost entirely by himself, so I knew it wasn't gonna be nice. Though I'll say, seeing my boisterous, larger-than-life grandfather reduced to the shadow of a man left a bitter taste in my mouth - and tears in my eyes. Still I did not cry. I didn't want grandpa to see me, just in case. I realized that he wouldn't have been able to see me anyway: he looked almost lost in thought. Completely out of it. All he could do was hold his face in his hands, too weak to even roll over.

He didn't respond to my dad when he called for him, nor did he acknowledge my presence initially. My dad glossed over it. Apparently he's not been able to recognise my dad for a few days now. Still, I could have sworn I heard my grandpa mutter his name a few times.

After a while, something happened. Grandpa took his hands off his face and glanced around. Then he looked at me. I cocked my head to the side and said hi. His eyes went wide when I smiled at him. He smiled back. Half hearted, strained, but it was there, and I was so relieved. My dad was wrong; he recognised me. He knew I was there and that I came to say goodbye. I extended my hand towards his own over the bed. He was far away, I thought had to lean in, but I didn't need to. He reached out first. His hand was shaking, purplish in color, but it held mine like it was his last lifeline.

For some reason, this reminded me of something. From times when grandpa wasn't sick, and I heard him talking to my dad over the phone. My dad is a 60 year old man: and still, before hanging up, my grandpa always told him, "A dopo amore." ("Later love"; in Italy, parents oftenly refer to their children as "love"). Because he's still his father's love, even at 60 years old. Me and my sister were also given the same nickname by grandpa, and even as he was fading away, I was still his "love". I felt it in the way he held my hand.

That's how I wanna remember him. So I won't be going to see him again, nor will I look back. I left him with that.

A dopo, amore.

#carols.txt #not sure why i decided to write this all out #i've been emotional about it. i wanted to draw a comic to explain these emotions i've been feeling #the grief im experiencing #this is ok to reblog/comment btw I dont mind #maybe this is my way of grieving #grandpa is 90 years old he lived a long fulfilling life #and though im sad to see him go i am glad i could meet him ultimately #im 20 years old after all #lots of people my age dont get the privilege of having their grandpas alive #tw death #tw grief #^ just in case someone doesnt wanna see this

[sodiummustdie]

SAME. PERSON? ONE DAY. APART?

#SOMEONE HOLD ME #IM SO UNWELL #SO GLAD IM ALIVE #mcr #my chemical romance #gerard way