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#im like doing big kid things now so i cant just focus on my art stuff unfortunately
ratqu33n · 9 months
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dovekat wip so yall know im not dead
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tigerdrop · 2 years
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Your statement hit me, and now I have a question. I rarely draw for fun, but I want fame, and to put the thoughts in my mind into a medium.
What do I do
you gotta focus on that last thing as your primary motivator or else it will drive you insane. i know this is literally the same thing i said in that post but i am speaking from experience here, both my own and others, and i am not saying that people who do art for attention or fame are bad or somehow less legitimate than people who do art purely for their own enjoyment
like look man. i also desperately wanted to be noticed and to get acclaim for my work. when i was a kid i wanted so badly to be a famous actor it was embarrassing. i wrote fan screenplays for fucking glee in which i was the new main character and i would act them out on my own and fantasize about being up on stage, on tv, and finally being liked and admired. before i got into this fandom i would also fantasize about writing or drawing something that would become wildly popular, and id have a whole bunch of people making fanart and fanfic and sending me fanmail about how much it meant to them and how good my work was and etc etc
getting into hlvrai gave me a taste of that and it fucking sucked!!!
dont get me wrong. positive attention is great. it makes me really happy that people like my stuff and are willing to tell me so. but heres a little "laundry list" of all the stupid insane bullshit ive had to put up with just b/c i briefly got popular in a moderately big fandom:
regular (and incredibly vicious) harassment by people who genuinely saw my art as morally wrong
expectations that i make only a specific kind of art, and anger/backlash when i ignore that and do what i want
people seeing me not as a human being, but as an impersonal figurehead, or an art machine, or as somebody to approach specifically b/c im popular and they want to hang out with somebody popular
legitimate psychological and sexual abuse by multiple people specifically b/c of the above, traumatizing me in ways that i am still not fully "over"
people scanning my posts for anything even remotely problematic so they can hold it against me
creators of the thing i enjoy (and their friends) deliberately seeking out my artwork to make fun of it/express disgust that i would make it
people maintaining a perpetual burning hatred of me for months, or even years, which is totally impossible to resolve b/c there are people you cannot please no matter what you do and its futile to even try
and posting about it publicly! to the point where i literally cannot engage with the NSFW side of the fandom at all b/c its impossible to avoid people who are willing to decry my entire experience with gender and sexuality as "cringe" or "bad representation", or who enjoy publicly speculating over whether or not im an abuser b/c i like it when the fictional machinima character is mean to me
and all this over having written a fanfic online. do you know how much worse it is for people with even bigger followings? people who get hugely popular and then feel like they cant draw anything if it isnt marketable b/c their entire brand has been distilled into one Thing? people who stop posting art entirely b/c their audience has exerted such a strong influence over what they let themselves draw that it killed their enjoyment?
ive seen a lot of people bemoan the fact that a lot of popular artists have really insular circles and dont talk to anybody outside of them. this is why: the internet has cultivated a massive general audience with such an entitlement to your presence that you end up totally dehumanized. i personally am terrified to talk to people outside of a very small circle b/c experiencing a fleeting amount of popularity exposed me to a lot of very dangerous people and fucked me up big time. (i also have a pretty severe case of avoidant personality disorder which doesnt help.)
fame can fuck up your entire relationship to your art. and i am very lucky that right now, i can just draw/write stuff that makes me happy and i have a manageable audience that seems to enjoy it. and also when i need to i can draw art for commissions without it dominating my hobby
if you feel like you can treat making art as Just A Job, then, yknow, thats your call. some people genuinely dont see it as anything more than a paycheck. its not necessarily a good or bad thing. but way, way more of you are vulnerable to a maladaptive relationship with your own ability to create, and i would rather you heed these warnings and still take pleasure in the human act of creation than end up hating the very things that brought you joy
so like tl;dr if you want fame there is a very good chance it will drive you crazy and theres no nice way around it. but if you focus on just putting things into the world b/c you want to get them out of your head, you have a lot better odds of being satisfied. do with that what u will
sorry for the long post. byebye
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funtaleau · 2 years
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This is a vent and I QUIT
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I censor some words specially the characters related not because its bad words but because no matter how right I am, MOST PEOPLE WILL ONLY HELP THE BAD GUY. I just want to work my story in peace without any IDIOTS STEALING MY IDEAS AND SLAP OVERLY SEXUAL LOOK THEN MAKE PEOPLE ATTACK ME FOR STUPID REASON. Funny because the person who steal my work once said that they will respect me better, so respectful indeed :)
I couldn't tell who is this person cause if i did, I fear that most people would turn against me. Im not dealing with some random cringe person who likes to copy other stuff but this time Im dealing with a quite well known person in the UT community, at least since early this year- But In short This person I once called friend. When we first meet they said that they found my work to be quite interesting and they wish to know "more". I was still very excited at the time because we rarely see AUs or UT stories that mostly focus on the pacifist side without much angst or skeletons that are too OP to die But
welp i fell for the oldest trick in the book and this person stole most of my ideas and design and since they are quite popular their stolen work get known much easier while for me are left rotting in the back. I tried to solve this problem In a more calm way but this person really loves to play acting saying things like "I Will respect you more", "Im sorry It wouldn't happen again" , and the worst excuse of all "You don't have to be mad, Im just an underrated artist".... Hmmmmyes 2K followers are consider to be underrated. Not to mention they are quite a pervert too And unfortunately they continue their stupidity. I tried to call for help but most people didn't want to help me "because they are better than me", or "because they help me once", and "Everyone can have that idea, its not yours to claim" . Just because someone help you that doesn't Mean you owe your whole life for them, That's just plain stupid logic. And that came from people who i consider as "friend".
When this person finally got what they deserve, those "friends" i said earlier back them up for a very stupid excuse. I know there are artist who also Made suggestive and nsfw arts and myself too are not against that (except if its about things that are wrong like weird fetishes and pedo-) but drawing nsfw content and exposing it to kids are FRICKING WRONG. Either with their Consent or not that's are so WRONG. Let alone not even care to put a single warning but instead putting even more dirty caption like "Big booba lady" or "I want to squeeze it" are just...... I don't think this is humanity anymore but cant even call it monstrocity either. Its just stupidity
Im just tired of people with 0 mind of thinking. I've been working for my story since 2019 1 while this clone exist just early this year. the person who copy me left the server and fricking blocked me on their social so I cant do .much I tried to ask for help but all I receive from my "friends" is that they are busy. but when this clone guy make something wrong they all help them... just wow.. fricking WOW I had enough.... just enough is enough now that's why I stop making UT content since weeks ago cause I just had enough with this non sense. I don't have anymore will to continue my work anymore If people just want to make STUPID comparison about what obviously plagiarism. people defending them for even more stupid reason "Because they're art style are better than you" and "everyone can have that idea, its not yours to claim" also "they're just Inspired" Inspire WHAT? they upload the overly sexual clone right in front of my eyes and say nothing about "this is inspired from" NO.. all they say is how BIG the Breast are and how much they want to sleep on/squeeze it. FRICKING CREEPS
they are so respectful that they don't need to credit the owner and yep. Im just had enough with this I think imma stop making UT contents for god who knows how long cause im TIRED. I might post some art but they are not Undertale related... Im so sorry. "Im just jealous"... OF COURSE IM JEALOUS what did you expect me to feel??? I work so hard and have to deal with already frustrating pressure from parents and college to create something new and unique but only for someone who I once consider as "friend" stab me in the back and steal my character and ideas then get all the fame and credits for it while Im left to rot with nothing but those stupid comments.
after this I will not be working on Funtale anymore but I've given this AU to a friend @thelazysense . Im so sorry but I just couldn't deal with this much pressure.
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szivoszal · 3 years
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started university this autumn and ive been busy with that, so i havent really been making big art things. here's a masterpost of movement figure studies, mostly but not all made out of pure thirst (stray kids, enhypen, nct 127 and some ssireum wrestling sketches)
this is enough and substantial on its own, though. keeping on trying new stuff and making strides in things im familiar with; for now that's campus sketches, dynamic movement sketches, trying out charcoal for the first time, stuff that doesnt require a ton of time and focus, just a bit for fun. (i havent been using color lately again bc it needs more focus...or maybe a different focus than what im capable of rn?) even if its not a serious progress in new mediums/techniques/thoughts/etc, its still worth it.
for a long time now ive wanted to put extra meaning into my drawings and works! but then it just doesnt fit my hand, i always end up focusing on the pure visuals of things, which has a spirituality on its own and its valid, but yeah... odilon redon has been fascinating me, for example. i wanna tap into something too, in my own way. though it doesnt matter what i think i want, bc intuition and affection always leads me in a direction i havent planned/thought of, partly bc inspiration has to have a freshness to really strike (have to do a thing Now or never bc the idea expires), and partly just cuz its the type of thing that gets worse and harder the more u try to control it.
im thinking that direct symbolism and meaning needs more effort/control from my part (for me personally, where im at rn), and although i dont hate the results, its not intuitive and doesnt feel great to make. so im waiting for when my intuition will be curious enough about it to make the effort. maybe now is the time. or maybe ill continue doing studies of stuff. i like observing. observing and studying without added commentary or judgement is very valuable.
another thing ive been thinking abt is the switch from studying in hs to being in tech art school to studying in uni. i cant do artsy stuff full time now (again), but also i dont Have to do artsy stuff full time and thats great actually. the universe didnt intend for me to go to art school and it was right, art uni doesnt sound fun now.
cuz i dont think art is really able to flourish in a space where so much pressure is put on it, when ur self esteem and so many things are dependent on ur output... or at least its not ideal. Or at least not for me. it seems to me that practicing anything is about a balance of structure (like a schedule to follow), pleasant effort (enough to feel youve done something but not straining), natural ease & fun. i tend to be anxious and a tryhard (too sensitive to structure and expectations), or have been for a long time, so the fun and ease aspect has been the main thing i needed for drawing and making things. i cant imagine making good things without a sense of ease.
going to uni for a different thing is also great bc the world gets so much wider... i enjoy spending time with getting to know stuff! ive gotten used to only talking about art, but its not just about art. it was that way when i was rly insecure and my self esteem depended on my drawing output. theres so much more to life and that much more is where art gets its zest from. that much more might be what ive been missing out on if ive concentrated too much of myself on art before. distancing oneself from art can be a good thing for connecting with oneself and the world, in that way.
in any case, i think im doing good. i enjoy doing this. this is the ease. should go study for my exams now lol
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fipindustries · 3 years
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list of comics i made so far
i already shared the list of all the novels i tried to write throughout my llife so i see no reason why not to do the same with the comics i tried to work on. no i should clarify, with my lists of novels there was a clear cut distinction between what was a novel and a short story so to parse one from the other was an easy task. it should be known that i wrote hundreds of shorts stories that i havent shared with anyone. now a similar situation occurs with my comics, i have done hundreds upon hundreds of little comics, short jokes, little skits and short lived strips through my life, so in order to give this list some weight and not make it longer than the bible the criteria i used was that it had to be something i did on a regular basis or that tells a self contained story with a beggining middle and end.
now without further ado, lets begin!
spike Vanderville (age 7)
you can tell i was way more into comics than i was into novels from a young age. done with pen and folded paper, it was the story about a young kid called spike, whose design was heavily inspired by bradley from sticking around, who had magical powers which allowed him to manipulate reality. it was a mix of harry potter and a series of illustrates short stories that came in a magazine in argentina. his best friend was a scarecrow with a pumpkin head that he had brought to life, his archnemesis was a fat bully.
curiously enough i was so passionate about this project even though i had no idea what i was doing and no talent that i actually did like three full colored issues of it. my family was really proud of me. sadly those comics are completly lost to time
andrew and the monkey (age 10)
this was the classical story about a boy and his best friend the talking animal. one page comedy strips done in pen and paper. nothing too clever, just a way for me to try lame jokes mostly stolen from spongebob squarepants. not much else to it. i tried to do like a revamp in 2014 but it was short lived, as you can see the jokes didnt get any less lame
FIP industries (age 17)
mostly done in digital. yes as you can see fip is something that has followed me my whole life in quite the variety of mediums. there were as a matter of fact multiple attempts to make this comic a real thing but time and again they would peter off as i saw that my skill was just not up to the task. i think i have talked more than enough about fip industries on this blog, one interesting thing is that if you follow the link you will come across a lot of proto ideas that i had before they cemented and took their definite shape in the novel (and even after the novel i kept retconning and retooling things over and over again, fip industries is an ongoing thing that will probably last my entire lifetime)
Disregarding Reality I (age 20)
the first iteration of disregarding reality, a humorous strip done in pencil and paper, a fairly short lived affair, lasting no more than 3 months. the entire premise of the comic was an MRA activist and a feminist live together, they are friends, they argue a lot. remember 2013 guys? back when this whole politics bullshit truly kicked off online? this was before gamer gate, mind you. but by that point i had seen more than enough of it on tumblr and i was like “someone should do some scathing commentary with wit and penache” and that someone had to be me. mainly inspired by commics like f@nboys and el goonish hive and a thousand billion others that were so popular back in those halcyon days.
i got bored of it pretty quickly and it wouldnt be until three years later than i would finally decide to re-start the project but until then...
Strangers in the forest (age 21)
here comes a rather productive era in my ouvre, ink and paper, based on a short story i wrote, its about an eldritch monster pretending to be human and a ghost girl, killed by her father. they have a dispute because the monster wants to eat the corpse of the girl but the ghost doesnt want to give up her bones because its the one thing that tethers her to the mortal plane. they eventually resolve their dispute. by this point i was actually, unironically trying my best to do comics which i felt looked professional.
Song of a nightmare (age 21)
another one based on a short story i wrote. ink and paper, a private detective wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a mermaid lying in bed next to him. he spends most of the comic trying to figure out how the hell is this possible. still one of my favourite ones and certainly one of my family’s and friends favourites as well. a rather poetic tale, strongly inspired by argentinian fiction and their propensity towards magical realism, i was reading a lot of cortazar back then.
Aika (age 21)
as you can tell i was on a fucking roll that year. ink and paper, this was a story based upon a simple and basic idea that i had in my mind for years and years. i always liked the concept behind the movie “the kid” where bruce willis mysteriously comes across himself as a kid. so of course one day i came up with the idea, what if you recieved a visit from your future self... but she was a woman?
this is probably the most aggresively trans story i ever wrote in my life, it is literally about a guy realizing they are trans and breaking down over it. here is the giant kicker, i did not realize at all what i was doing. i was completly unaware of what was going on here, i was still deep deep in the closet and not even realizing i was there. it really is astounding the honesty and the rawness with which i wrote this comic and it went all over my head. a perfect example of “im such a great ally lol”
oh also there is time travel i guess. my main impetus (beyond whatever my subconcious was forcing me to do) was my desire to make a complete clusterfuck of a story, i was a huge fan of homestuck, i had read fleek and demon, i wanted to do my own take on a hypercomplicated time travel puzzle plot. other things came out on top of it but i didnt noticed them. fucking hilarious
Hello Agatha (age 21)
a comedic strip about a wacky pixie dream girl having wacky adventures with her wacky friends, one of which is a man with a toilet for a head. what a gut buster, what a knee slapper!
there is not much to say about this one, wacky surreal comedy was always my favourite and so time and again i would try my hand at it but it is surprisingly hard to do!
The /co/ ventures! (age 20 - age25)
an ongoing project done in multiple mediums. i think i said more than enough about this in here and here. it was me practiscing comics, practiscing my humor and adding my tiny grain of sand to the 4chan culture. i am proud to say these comics were actually very well liked there and that i would be recognized without a name or signature of any kind, just on the strength of my style.
the vest kind of madness (age 22)
probably one of the projects in which i put the biggest amount of effort to make it look professional. traditional inks and digital colors. a crossover that i cant believe never happened in comics considering how obvious it is. Rac Shade, the changing man and delirium of the endless, the two flagship vertigo characters associated with madness. clearly a match made in heaven.
to this day im flabbergasted i seem to be the only one to think of this.
Disregarding Reality II (age 23)
another work where i have already spilled rivers of bytes explaining my thought process behind it. after having a no good, terrible, very bad day, finding my self aimless and without purpose, deep in denial and depression, i decided to give my self a big project to have something to get me out of bed every day. these three guys came from the depths of my mind to save me.
this time leaning a lot more on silly humor and surrealism than political commentary, still insanely proud of how much i managed to make this last, almost three years, well over 200 pages! and in here i found the inspiration and the creative energy to tackle all sorts of diverse projects of which we are about to see all about.
Mama Bird (age 24)
my masterpiece.
by far the best comic i ever did. a kid with a bird for a mom. hilarious, touching, heartbreaking. it was a concept that i had come up with when i was 21. back then it was supposed to be exclusively a humorous comic strip but then i found a dramatic angle for the story and that was when everything clicked into place. that was when i realized this was a comic i had to do. and i did it. it took me five months but it was well worth it. still insanely proud of this one
Soft boys (age 25)
a weird experimental little story where i decided to sit down and deconstruct one of the most popular superpowers. super elasticity. more akin to me just mashing my toys against each other than me trying to tell a serious story. i am actually really happy with some of the art here and some of the sequences presented. particularly the final one where a brick joke twenty pages in the making finally pays off.
Hexen Snatch (age 25)
a semi spinoff to my novel FIP industries, we focus on a side character that managed to survive after the events of the novel and how they’ll manage to survive further beyond that. insanely soaked by the magical world of pact by widbow i wanted desperatly to share my own take on magic, every page is accompanied by a little text where i expand upon the lore and the way magic is supposed to work on this world. i really like the prose on those snippets and the ideas they work almost more that the comic itself with which i was not happy at all when i was working on it. i didnt like the character design, i didnt like how the art in general was coming out, i didnt like the pacing of the story or how superficially we were getting to expore this world in the comic proper. i had to take a very long hiatus just to accumulate the will to finish the comic and once i did i feel it really petered off without much of a satisfying payoff.
on some level i blame the exhaustion and frustration that i came out of this comic with for the fact that i ended up quitting disregarding reality soon afterwards.
Maxplosive (age 26)
another project that has followed me across multiple mediums. came up with an idea for a videogame back in 2015. saved it on the back pocket for a while, used it as a story within a story on my novel fan.tastic, practisced a couple of animations with the characters and eventually decided that, if my skills at videogame making were not enough, i had at least more than poven myself as a comic artist so maybe that was the definitive medium in which this idea would have to exist.
the original idea was to tell the story in two parts, the first half would introduce the character and the videogame as if the comic was a playthrough of the game. all fun and childlike and innocent. then the second half was meant to explore the life of the main character as an adult, how being “a videogame protagonist” had ruined her body, her mental health and her life. i tried all sorts of weird stuff with the format here, using reciclable assets, static camera angles and generally presenting the whole thing as if it was a videogame.
sadly the project got too big for my breaches, i was fucking exhausted back then, swamped with a bunch of other projects, my job, other responsabilities, unsatisfied with the story and with no idea where to take it. eventually i got tired, decided to skip a day, then the day became a week and then the week became a month and by then i had to face the facts, i was just no longer able to continue the comic. and so i quit not only maxplosive but disregarding reality all together.
i still did the occasional comic here and then but it wouldnt be until the very end of 20-fucking-20 that i was finally inspired to tackle a new project, my newest one, my last one....
Lapsarian (age 27)
an interesting experiment, i decided to do the whole comic in one sit and then post it chapter by chapter on a weekly basis. a surprising result of this was that i managed to do in one month the same amoung of pages that would have taken me 5 months back when i started disregarding reality, is good to see that after al this time i still got it.
took me a while to get the hang of it again and find my own style once more but once i armed up it was smooth sailing for 40 pages all the way to the end. but what is this comic even about?
its... weird, with full disclosure and no shame, it is mostly a fetish story about big lizard creatures commiting vore. the milkman had already shown me that i could do those types of stories and no lighting would come from the heavens to strike me down so i said, why not as a comic? i like to think that beyond the fetish content it is still a decent story in its own right, an interesting feedback that i got from this is that people are suprised how earnest it is, one saying something like “this is the best pitch for a fetish that i was never interested in”
Conclussion:
looking back on this im surprised, turns out i was a lot more prolific and working a lot more regularly than i expected, in here are documented ten years of creative output that never seems to wane. it was fun to do the roundabout trip and see how my style, my technice and generally my work ethic evolved through the years. another nice thing to see is the multiple formats, the multiple tools and mediums i experimented with, i find myself constantly trying new things, new methods, new angles, new interesting ideas for how to make a comic (without even getting into what to make a comic about).
something i always knew about myself was that drawing is a fundamental part of who i am, it is something that just cant be taken away from me and that will always be a part of my life one way or the other, is good to see it so plainly, in black and white, on this list. here goes for what i might be able to do in the future
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piplupod · 3 years
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got paranoia and ur tryna sleep? yea mood me too
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LUCKILY theres a few tips i have found that helped me so uhhhhh HERE WE GOOOO
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1. first off, take some melatonin if u got that baybeeeeey its super handy and usually NaturalTM so it shouldn’t affect u negatively but idk im not a doctor so consult ur doc if u feel like u should yadda yadda. honestly i split those 3 mg fools into quarters and then just take a quarter and thats enough to help me get to sleep on a regular night but if its A Big Boy Anxiety night then i’ll take a WHOLE 1.5 mg LMAO
2. okay if that doesnt help then u KNOW ur having a Bad Night!!! welcome to how it be when u got mentol illnass xoxo, here is ur badge of welcoming and a hug/high five/friendly wave! okay jokes aside for tip number 2: guided meditation IF ur paranoia is cool with u blocking out ur surroundings!! its a nice thing to find a little count down meditation and u just focus on ur breathing and relax and let someone else direct ur thoughts for a bit !!
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3. get urself a Protection Charm, whether its superstitious, occult, or just for fun! sometimes having something be a lucky charm can calm ur mind because its familiar and u have attached meaning to it! i have a few quartz rocks that i’ve found beside my favourite river beside my bed that i can hold and rub for a bit and they’re slowly getting smoothed down bc of it lol
4. if ur okay with getting out of bed and doing stuff for a while, CLEAN SOMETHING! listen to a podcast for background noise and do some cleaning bc in my experience it summons those happy chemicals and distracts the brain like nothing else LOL plus u have something nice and clean and it can put ur mind at ease when u finally go back to sleep!
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5. read a book, preferably smth interesting but also kinda boring, if that makes sense. u dont wanna stay up all night (unless ur okay w that but it’ll mess up ur next day trust me, sleep is IMPORTANT) but u do want to get invested in the book so uh. yea reading is good especially when u got nothing else to do
6. make some art or do some writing if u can turn on a light on for it! sometimes its helpful to get the stuff out of ur brain and onto paper. sometimes its not. idk man just try it if u want
7. u got blankets? excellent! make urself a nice lil hidey hole nest. ur safe inside this now. congratulations u are a little sparrow hiding safe from the tiger!
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8. get up and go to the bathroom and back. put water on ur face. wake urself up a little. put all the lights on and draw back the curtains so that nothing can be hiding. open up the cupboards! nothing is hiding inside here. usually bathrooms also have locks on the doors so u can lock it too!! ur safe in the bathroom! u got water and waste disposal in here, and maybe u can put some snacks somewhere sanitary in case of emergency (mostly just to put ur brain at ease. u can hole up inside the bathroom if u need to is the idea)
9. write out ur tasks for the next day, and plan out the steps u need to accomplish each task. sometimes paranoia is future-anxiety in disguise (and oftentimes its not! but occasionally it is lol). this might help!
10. u got a weapon or smth on hand? even just having a nerf gun helped me as a kid on some bad nights LOL but now i have a rad knife that i found in the graveyard that i keep nearby my bed
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11. pray to whatever benevolent force might be watching over u to get u thru this night. this is cheesy and hopefully ur not one of those angry atheists but boy howdy even when i was in my angry atheist phase (im pagan now lol) this could help in REALLY bad nights where i was terrified of my abuser coming in and hurting me. didn’t help a lot but it eased it a tiny bit
12. have a runaway bag ready 2 go. idk what ur paranoia is caused by but if its abuser-based, this can help. i had (have) a backpack and a list of items to gather in order of importance so i can scrumble something together real quick in case of emergency
13. make use of any superstitions and folk beliefs. ur brain aint logical so u cant fight it with logic. gather some stuff together for protection or whatnot and maybe that’ll help
14. last thing! get ANGRY! remember how shitty life has treated u (if it has), and bare ur FUCKIN FANGS! u got CLAWS, u got SPITFIRE, u got ANGER, now use that!!! its not exactly sleep-inducing but it can help get rid of paranoia because for me personally my anger is BIG so its hard for paranoia to live inside me too while anger’s visiting. 
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BOY HOWDY I DO HOPE SOMETHING HERE HELPS AND IF U GOT ANYTHING ELSE PLEASE ADD ON!!
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elijahfitz · 4 years
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and introduction.
meet elijah.
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hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!
some fun facts abt elijah:
he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:
his name was elijah
he was 2 (born on february 28th)
his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could
they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life
he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.
his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.
but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed
he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.
when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.
has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems
growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF
eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.
he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.
when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.
until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role
thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)
he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips
this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.
he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember
like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running
that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask
he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age
he probably is at the party bc royals? idk
EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.
wanted connections!!
obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon
one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed
childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking
people who know him solely through his family
someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints
people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk
someone who was w eli in the orphanage
past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp
idk, legit anything. send me those plots man
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vanllacreme1 · 5 years
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it’s mac again ! i’m bringing over an old-ish oc that i hardly got to play but really loved ( which means that this intro is long bc i have a lot of thoughts about my son ) !! pls welcome my babiest baby boi, TEDDY LEUNG . 
☕ . ˚ ◝ ( lucas wong. cismale. he/him. ) theodore “teddy” leung is a twenty year old aries. the freelancer’s go-to order is vanilla creme frappe with two pumps of raspberry syrup and extra whip cream. they like to listen to ring ding dong by shinee while they wait for their order. the employees of the deja brew think they are meek but swear they’re totally optimistic as well. maybe that’s why a spray paint can, a velcro chain wallet, and earbuds remind me of them.  
PINTEREST
mentions of ptsd. injury. 9/11. deafness. 
i. born and fostered out of love, teddy leung is the son of a first generation chinese american military officer and a thai lounge singer. having met while his father was stationed overseas, his parents fell in love but just before they could get their relationship could fully bloom, teddy’s father was sent back to america. regretfully, teddy’s parents parted ways but even with an ocean between them, the culmination of their short-lived romance grew into a new life.
ii. teddy was a surprise, to everyone involved, and in fear for his love and his child’s life in the hands of her traditionalist parents ( afterall she was young, unwed and pregnant ), teddy’s father sent for her, causing her to have to leave everything she knew behind for a man she knew for only eight months. but they were in love and they both felt as if their situation was the fates telling them to be together.
iii. teddy came into the world kicking and screaming, his little lungs gasping for air as his limbs stretched out of their confines for the first time. an explosive ball of energy that his mother ate up and his father smiled down on protectively. he was their special boy, golden and proof that all their hardships -- the arguments, the alienation of her family, the stress -- was all worth it in the end.
iv. and for the first few years, it was harmonious. all focus was on raising teddy and providing for him, his father training the battalion on fort irwin and his mother working as a music teacher for the kids in the area. then, in the aftermath of 9/11, teddy’s father was deployed for five years on active duty in afghanistan where he served until a hostile bombing left him injured.
v. returning home after all that time away was an adjustment for teddy’s father, having to cope with not only the strain of physical therapy and ptsd, but also with his 7-year-old son whom he hadn’t spent any real time with since the boy was three. but, teddy, with his big, wondering eyes and even bigger, tender heart, tried to connect with his father the way he was close with his mother.
vi. but even then, there was only so much that teddy and his father could see eye to eye on. art and music became a big part of teddy’s life, while sport and the sciences were his father’s interests. it alienated them both from each other, for the short while before teddy’s father accepted a recruitment job in san diego and became busy again.
vii. in san diego, teddy found a little more independence, enrolling in the local public school instead of the school on the army base. and things were fine, again, until they weren’t. by the time teddy was 11, he developed ménière’s in his left ear, causing him to become hard of hearing on top of bouts of vertigo and tinnitus. he fought a lot with his parents then, his angsty teenage bullshit hitting an absolute peak early on when his parents wanted him to get fitted for an aid and he wanted to just let nature take its course ( he still has his one good ear, he’d argue ).
viii. eventually, they came to an agreement, that teddy would go to counselling and learn asl in lieu of getting an aid, and that teddy wouldn’t complain when his family relocated again in the beginning of his freshman year of high school. moving, this time to colorado, drove a deeper wedge between teddy and his father. and as much as he loves the man, they just didn’t seem to click anymore.
ix. so teddy tried to be a good son for him, focused on school and behaved the best he could. it was only after teddy started applying for university, that he felt the spark of excitement again. the possibility of going back to the place he was the longest, to southern california, was all that he cared about. his college years were going to be the time he became more independent from his parents, finally gaining some semblance of his own person beyond what his parents tried to mold him into.
***DISCLAIMER: teddy is written by a hearing person and his condition may be written inaccurately. please know that i am not at all trying to offend anyone who is HoH and that i will do my best to research and be mindful of the portrayal of his hearing loss. that being said, if you are offended by the way i portray his hearing loss in any capacity, please message me privately so we can have a conversation and i can learn from my mistake.
quick fax  
- is an army brat so he moved around a lot growing up ; spent high school years elsewhere, but moved back to cali for university  - is studying accounting bc ,,, idk its stable and he’s never really had stability in his life until now - such a glass half full person but is that one ‘ everything is fine ’ meme  - will try anything once ; whether or not it sticks depends on how much he ends up enjoying it - would also stand up 2 someone but immediately regret it after - is hard of hearing in his left ear ( ménière’s disease ) so he will lean toward the noise to hear better aka im so sorry if he’s in ur bubble, he just cant hear what uR’E SAYING  - he’s ,,, ,v loud w/o realizing it  - bc of his meniere’s he can’t have caffeine ( lol ) but he likes the cafe culture and likes to go to deja brew to sketch - also has earbuds in like 24/7 ; gets nagged by his mom that he SHOULDN’T but like ,,,, he’s accepted that his hearing is gonna get worse anyway so LMAO - doesn’t wear an aid and hasn’t used sign language in a very long time but still remembers a lot of it - teddy vc: what ?  - does the graffiti on the weekends , pls dont tell his mom ; art is his “hobby” as his dad would say , v artistic and likes to go to moca on their free nights  - loves all kinds of music, esp mongolian throat singing ; impressionism is his favorite art movement ; thinks rupi kaur is a charlatan but she’s making money off white people so : / - has a tattoo on his right buttcheek bc why not , someone probably dared him to - naturally wakes up at 6 am, no matter how late he was up the night before ; goes on morning runs  - incidentally, he also takes a lot of naps during the day - is technically (f)unemployed ; answers craigslist ads for cash, nothing shady, just like cleans old ladies homes and helps people move furniture - owns a second hand bicycle with a woven basket in the front uwu ; may or may not have found it at a junk yard - will stop to pet a dog on the side of the street ; will also point out animals when he passes them   - think andy dwyer, john mulaney, jake peralta, miles morales, jason mendoza and others i cant care to look up rn but u get the idea i hope 
possible connections
roommates / housemates, classmates / schoolmates, friends, enemies ( tho he’d probably cry if u told him u didnt like him ), lovers / ex lovers, etc. whatever come yell at me if u want something. find me here or on discord ( 𝖎𝖈𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖒𝖞 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖙, 𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖈#3596 ) 
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b00bconnoisseur · 5 years
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Hey do all of the greek god asks
Long post alert
Aphrodite: what you find attractive in a person
Lots of stuff really. But in mostly personality and interests over looks. U can be not really the most good lookin but be the most wonderful person. But u could also be the most beautiful thing ive ever laid eyes on but you're trash of a person. So looks dont matter much to me. But in a person i like if we share interests like art, music, books, and if youre really nice and stuff too
Apollo: favourite piece of music
Ooooo thats hardddd. Just ONE?? Howwww?! Ughhhh. Ok hm idk abt a FAVORITE but i really love heavy by johnnie guilbert and uhh i love ghost and heroin by badflower along with a bazillion others
Ares: opinion on war
If u mean infinity war? Um THAT MOVIE WAS SAD BUT AWESOME AF BUT THAT END THO AAAAAAAAA
Artemis: favourite animal and why
Snakesssss. I just really love snakes. I love the creepiness abt the lil beans. I love how they look. AND I LOVE WHEN THEY WEAR LIL HATS
Athena: share a piece of wisdom
Dont eat Oreos with hotsauce kids. It wont taste good
Dionysus: red, white, or rosé?
I do not drinketh wine but i like the color white over the other 2 so let's go with white
Eros: describe your crush
Nsnsnxndnsnsm damn. Ok uh well he likes hp as well. Hes a tumblr user. Annnddd hes nice :) thats all u lil munchkins get. And only 3 ppl know who this is so ha
Hades: do you believe in life after death?
Like heaven/hell? Idk. Sorta. But i don't really believe it as an afterlife. I think of it as u dead, thats where u go. Over with. But the thought of living like a 100 yrs then being gone for the rest of time sounds stupid like cmon those dudes in the bible can live for thousands of years and we get an average of like 75? Nah. But idk yet
Helios: opinion on tanning
I am already tan. I get more pale in winter n stuff but in summer my skin turns a golden brown color more. Kinda like the color of a cooked hotdog?
Hephaestus: do you think disability can ruin a relationship?
Oof hmm. What kind of disability? Like depression? (wait does it count as one?) I say it can yea maybe but if your partner is loving and supportive and is trying to help then i say you'll be okay
Hera: opinion on feminism
Idk i feel like im sort of a feminist myself. Like i hate that women don't have the same rights as men. Dude hear this. Me and my bro were arguing with our grampa about Hillary clinton or having a woman President and so my bro said to my grampa "so if tam (me) ran for President u wouldn't vote for her? Just cause she's a girl?" And my grampa said "*laughs* yeah i mean i love ya hun but women dont need to be president. Its a mans job. Men are supposed to be the leaders not women. Tge bible says so. No i wouldn't vote for u" and i got pissed cause wtf man??? What's wrong with u?? And then we kept arguing and then he was like *fake laughs* nah i was jk hun u know id vote for u youre my granddaughter. And i called him a liar and that he was lying because i know when hes lying. Then he started being racist abt smtn and then my mom got fed up and we left. I wouldn't talk to my grampa and he got mad so he said I was the one being stupid. Yeah sure ok believe that
Hermes: last text you sent
Uh it was to my best friend and it was "Not a big fan of hp huh?" But before that it was "That's not fai!r everyone has that one book they dont finish when they start on another. And when they dont finish it it usually means they weren't that interested in it. Or they really wanna read this new book cause its hard to focus on the old book when u have the new book and can read it whenever instead"
Persephone: is climate change really a thing or is everyone just overreacting?
I say its a thing!! Everythings changing and i dont think its for the better
Poseidon: list three fears
1. Momo coming to life and chasing after me and finally catching me then making me stare closely into her eyes while killing me slowly
2. Spiders ( @cristal-kyd1280 including jarvis)
3. Dying/dying by me being stupid like skydiving or eating a cup of apple seeds for no reason
Zeus: three places you want to travel to
@dirtysocke in georgia
@mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye in the Netherlands
@cristal-kyd1280 a few hrs away from me
Demeter: favourite season and why
FALL CAUSE ITS THE BEST AND U CAN F I T E ME ON IT
Pan: opinion on gay rights
I fucking WHOLEHEARTEDLY support gay rights!!! I feel fucking ashamed cause i haven't always......(thanks mom, dad) but over the years ive gotten a bit more supportive and stuff but especially in summer last year one day after our shift at the library whenever my friend cadence came out as pan/bi/gay to me while she waited with me for my parents to pick me up. Also especially since i got tumblr and saw how amazing the lgbtq are. Like dude most of my friends are gay um and its fucking awesome?? Like for example dude my friend lucas is bi and i could talk to him abt boys n stuff and how cute different dude celebrities are xD Also i learned alot abt what pansexual and bisexual and stuff was exactly (my mom fuckin told me pan was when a person likes anyone. Even ANIMALS. She fuckin disgusted me like wtf who says that??) But now I'm ready to fight whenever any one even my fam starts being homophobic. Also i want to start reading more about the lgbtq. (I loved svthsa) But yea i say gay rights should be supported by fuckin EVERYONE and NO ONE should be homophobic and if u are like bitch keep that shit to yourself before i slug u
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Hestia: describe your ideal house
Idk? Like i want an apartment for a while before an actual house yknow? But when/if i do get one eventually idk id like....just a house? Not a big one but not tiny either. Uhhh i wsnt a room just for my books and one for like an art room. Besides that? I cant think of anything lol
Dude it took like an hr and a half to answer all these holy shit
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sabbathics-blog · 5 years
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hello. my name is k, and this is my first comic. i have never done anything like this before, making ocs and stories about them. only fandom art. but i’ve decided to leave said fandoms and focus on this. no i do not aspire to go to college for art- but it will be a backup plan. but for now, as a hobby, i enjoy art. im sure my style will change throughout the continuation of the comic, and i will probably make more than just this one. this is called high tension. i will not be drawing in this style, it is only for the cover. i want to go simpler for the comic itself. the comic wont be on a set storyline- most likely random things that come to mind. i dont want to feel stressed about this. i want to go with the flow and take this as it comes and take my time. thank you for reading this overview of who i am and my ideas. the characters- their personalities will be explained and portrayed throughout the comic itself but from left to right- a slight rundown. freddy, male, hes 17. he looks like a trouble maker but he really isnt. he has such a big heart and protects the younger kids with everything he has. he lives on his own in an apartment, but visits the other 3 often. he smokes and he doesnt know how to take care of himself. he tries his best, hes really just misunderstood. next, mary ann. mary ann is a hopeless romantic who just loves with all she has. she is so sensitive and carefree, often seen as bossy and demanding. she hangs out with freddy a lot. she is 14 and looks up to him. she wants to be a princess one day, and treated like one, and she always gets what she wants. she likes it like that. at a young age, a very young age, her parents left on a vacation. their plane crashed and they died- and mary was left in the hands of hanna (the girl to the right of her), because she was her baby sitter at the time. she now lives with hanna and taylor. next, hanna. hanna is 16 and she is nosy and protective. she does not like freddy. she thinks he is a troublemaker and refuses to get to know him. she thinks he is a bad influence on the younger kids and doesnt want them being around him. she doesnt like how mary looks up to him, she thinks they would not match well. she also doesnt like how mary changes her fashion influenced by him- because she thinks “hes cool”. she doesnt want mary to get hurt again, but her brother taylor is much easier to control. she is seen as a pushover and suckup at many times. and finally, taylor. he is also 14 and loves his sister , following most of her every word. but, he has a secretive side to him that he wont let anyone see. its even very surprising. he is seen as sensitive and a crybaby, taking things to heart very easily. his sister is always there to comfort him. they live on their own because hanna decided to move out of her parents house and take taylor with her. they were constantly away and had no time for them, so she works restlessly just to pay for taylor, mary, and their bills. freddy helps however. taylor likes playing board games, but theres usually no one around to play with him, so freddy gladly plays with him. he likes freddy, but cant trust him due to the things hanna has said about him around the house, he just doesnt know who to believe yet.
this is their story and how they grow together
thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoy my dumb little comics.
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th3okamid3mon · 5 years
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[SPOILERS] Review/Ramble on Roma (2018) Dir. Alfonso Cuarón
So i just watch Roma, a movie around the 1970´s (1971 to be precise) in México, Ciudad de México
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For anyone who doesn´t know, there´s this suburb called Roma, that´s why it has that name, its not in Italy or anything jaja. 
By now, probably everyone has seen it or has been like ¨OH, SPANISH! i don´t want to read the english subtitles ¨ (i hope that´s not the case because SO HELP ME DOG), in my unprofessional and cinema student-ish opinion, I like it. 
The movie is recorded in black and white, not sure with what camera or why the decision was to make it that way but the image has great quality and it makes the focus more on the story and characters than the surroundings (not that the art wasn´t important, in fact, it must have been a hell of a work to make certain pallets of colors to make it contrast different to each, also to not make everyone blend together into a weird spot). Cuarón direct, write and was in charge of the photography (which is what he is known for) , his writing was actually really balanced between the serious main parts of the movie, the common daily basis humor and interactions between the characters. 
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Most of the shots were master shots with panning, there were no medium shots nor close ups (At least not until the end of act 3) . Doing this type of shots gives the viewer a chance to see the surroundings of the characters and to view whats going on around. I think this is because, even if we follow the main family and the protagonist Cleo (Yalitza Aparicio), the main point could be that they aren´t the only ones with a life and with problems. We can see other people, we can see them doing their own thing, it gives the film a more genuine feeling about a really busy street, city or town, we can see there´s more life outside the house of the protagonists. 
The whole story has a lot of tragedy, in fact there´s 2 whole stories full of tragedies: Cleo´s (the maid) story and Sofia´s (the employer or ¨patrona¨) story. Cleo is working like a maid and nanny for a family, she doesnt seem to be miserable, just indifferent about that job. It doesnt mean she is uncaring towards Sofia´s children or anything, its just her usual routine that she already knows. It is really nice to watch 2 people which share the same language talking like a usual common thing, other than just spanish. In this case, Cleo and her friend talk in mixteco a native language of México, im glad to see it treated as something usual for them and not like a surprise because there´s still a big community of indigenous people that still practice certain traditions and still talk languages. This includes more people and shows the diversity in the country as well as introducing more talent to the filming industry (not just certain type of people). Cleo isnt mistreated by anyone at the house, which is nice to see (other than the usual racist comments and mistreament), however she has this impotence appearance when her employer gets angry at her (obviously anyone would be terrified, specially if you lived with them and you could be potentionally thrown out). At some point, Cleo gets pregnant and its horrified when she: a) cant convince Fermín (motherfucker 2) that he is the father, and b) isnt sure wether her boss will throw her out of the house or not. 
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Sofia is the employer, her children are Sofia, Paco, Toño and Pepe. Her husband Antonio (motherfucker 1) is a doctor which she loves, but once the story starts developing you get to know in the background that their marriage is crumbling. He goes on having adventures with other woman and lying to Sofia, meanwhile Sofia tries to keep it together while her children are acting like children and pre-teenagers. 
One thing i found interesting is the decision the writer (Cuarón) took when he made almost every male character an asshole. You have Antonio which lies and cheats her wife and then you have Fermin who bails on Cleo once she tells him she´s pregnant, also he threatens to kill her and her unborn child with martial arts (it...got a bit weird...). I would add the kids Paco and Toño because they were acting like disrespectful asshats, but I´ll pretend it was the hormones of teenage years and the whole situation between their mother and father. There´s also el compadre (i think its brother in law) of Sofia who tries to ¨comfort her¨. In general, this movie has certain violence towards female protagonists. 
Another thing i found interesting was how everything was according the era, like everything around the characters was moving independently of the characters. Everyone had to move according to the circumstances around them which they didnt had control over. Most notorious example: 1971, 3 years after Tlatelolco 
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[NOTE: the image above is a real picture took from the protests from 1968]
The characters move around while events like the protests of students are still going around, the children are talking in one scene bout someone who got shot and in another sequence we see Cleo and her patrona going to a store to buy a crib which is interrupted by the screams of horror from the students, then a pair gets inside the store screaming ¨They are killing us!!¨. Then a group of porros (people who are paid by the government to start riots and make the opponent side the responsible of the excessive force used by the police, AKA, making them the guilty ones) get inside and shoot them. That whole scenario is independent of the characters, yet they are involve in it because they are there, and they cant do anything because thats what a person would do in a stressing situation: nothing, besides, Cleo is pregnant at that point so she would obviously wouldnt make any dumb move, specially when she sees that one of the porros is Fermin. 
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[NOTE: this shot is from the actual movie, AKA: ITS NOT REAL]
Including social and politic events in the movie gives it a more authentic atmosphere, it makes the viewer get inside the story and give a view and let us appreciate how México (my country) looked back then as well as giving us a look to everyones personalities during this different time period. 
The interactions of the children and Cleo was the sweetest most adorable thing i have ever seen. Cleo is looked like a human being and not like a third type character, she has a voice and a personality, which is something we dont usually see when it comes to maids. She shares fun with her friends, she has dates, she laughs, she cries, she is human. She also shares part of her culture, with the children and Sofia isnt bother at all. Cleo sings lullabies in mixteco to the little girl Sofia, who gleefully sings with her. Making it so common, so normal and such a nice moment normalizes it; in the shot Cleo and Sofia says prayers first and then Cleo sings her lullaby. Its great to see the interactions and intersections of cultures like that, both are mexicans but come from different homes and cultures, yes, cultures because at the end of the day México is very diverse, it doesnt have just one way to live. There are different cultures within the country. It is really important that we see it as the normal, our normal because we need to include more people, to make it ok for everyone to feel included in the same place, we are from the same place after all. 
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Other important point is the fact that this women have each others back in some sense and in most of the movie. Cleo helps Sofia during her times of need when she is stressing over her husbands infidelity and economic state, while Sofia helps Cleo during her pregnancy. Teresa, Sofia´s mother, also helps Cleo by getting her to a store to buy a crib and Cleo´s doctor is actually a woman, so most of the movie is woman helping woman. NOTE: Im not saying the men in the whole movie are awful people, SOME of them are, the one who have more interactions with the main protagonists. I dont want a radical feminist group to take this movie and twisted like they usually do with EVERY fucking thing. The main point of the movie is looking the hard and tough lives of women from different cultures and how they move on, some man do help like the guy who drive them around or Ramon (a side character which i think it was Adela´s boyfriend, Adela is Cleo´s friend), END OF THE NOTE
CONCLUSION: 
It is a good movie that shows a common part of life which involve good and bad things, from tragedies like infant death or civil massacres to the hopefulness of a better way to live, because the end of the movie comes full circles with everyones life but with hopefulness of a bright future. In this case the saying ¨What doesnt kill you makes you stronger¨ fits perfectly. 
The photography and art departments did a great job making the ambient from the 70s and giving the atmosphere to each scene and sequence a heavy and light feeling depending on what was going on. My mom was delighted to see certain places during those times because she remembers during her childhood looking at those different signs and streets, so the ambience was on point. For some reason I feel Netflix sold their soul or something to make this movie cause THOSE CARS LOOK EXPENSIVE, or maybe it isnt as expensive as i thought (should look up that later). The only complaint i could think of is that it should have pass to movie theaters a bit longer or at least project it again cause it can be more appreciated in those places than in your home with a faulty internet (my internet went out at least 7 times); also the effects of the babies were... really awkward to the point of being distracting and funny. They really looked like dolls, they bounce a bit, specially during the scene where Cleo gives birth to the death child (I shouldnt have laugh to that scene...but that damn doll look so plasticy... ) 
All and all, it was enjoyable to watch, the acting was good, even for the children. They did a great job, some of the lines were spoken awkwardly by the oldest kid, as to sound more mature? i guess that was the direction they went for. The characters were likable, they could make you laugh or cry during different times and make you feel for them. 
I think anyone could watch this but it is, what everyone could consider, a slow movie. So make sure to have everything you got and take time to appreciate everything around them, because i think this is like a candy you need to look around, everything they put its meant to be looked at. I give the movie 8/10 
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[LOOKATTHATDAMNFUCKINGSHOTHMMMM!!!!GOODSHITRIGHTTHEREIFIDOSAYSOMYSELF!!!HOLYSHIT!!!NOMAMESESTASUPERCABRONALABERGA!!]
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rqs902 · 5 years
Text
you know there’s a problem when you open a video and think “oh good, it’s ONLY two and a half hours” 
every time lin mo shows up in a quick flash during the beginning ANY sequence, I always rewind to watch it again.... maybe more than once LOL... omg he was also in the title sequence again!!! 
wtf chen sijian can do anything what waht talent
wang jiayi’s voice is just so wow
i really like these lessons, theyre letting these kids show off their talents :D and it seems like theyre really learning, which is cool
OMGOHS THEYRE DOING ERIC CHOU’S ‘ZEN ME LE’!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ERIC CHOU YASSSSSSSS ehehehhe yes wenhan is a fan of eric chou too yesss ma boy has good taste oooo jia yi too
OMGOSH IQIYI LITERALLY SKIPPED MINGMING’S SONG CHOOSING WTF I SEE YOU IQIYI YOU SHOW ALL THE TOP 9 EXCEPTTTT MINGMING 
aw wang yi.... ye ziming is so fun i like him
oooo i think sun zelin picked a good song for himself yayyy william wei just makes me think of nongnong now LOL even tho sun zelin is a smol, i see him being a good leader c: 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MINGMING AND ZHENNING TRASHING HU WENXUAN HAHAHAHAH how did lin mo survive namanana team a????? YAS MINGMING PROMO YOSELF WITH CONFIDENCE YOU GOT THISSSS awww when he gets pinned and he touches his glasses he looks so soft aww his smile
FRICK THEY INCLUDED THAT STRIDE COMMERCIAL THAT HAS JIN FAN IN IT THANKS IQIYI YOU LITERALLY GIVE HIM SO MUCH MORE SCREENTIME AFTER HES GONE THANKS FOR NOTHING!!! seeing him and hearing his voice makes me feel so ahhhhhhh so sad...... i miss him so much...... THANKS FOR RIPPING MY HEART OUT IQIYI 
im sorry those cloud things suspended in the air look like pancreases to me
yaasss xu fangzhou sing that chorus!! omg lol im sorry feng junjie may be the center and his voice is nice but XIA HANYU ASLKDJLKJK man not even just the high notes but that last line of his was so perfect too... im def downloading this song
LOOK AT MINGMINGS EYE MAKEUP OMG WOW wait why does mingming have such a lowkey outfit even when hes center 
LOOOLLLL EVERYONE TEASING ZHENNING ABOUT RETREAT HAHAHAH
“mingming has changed” -- yessssss hopefully!!!! im happy to see this more outgoing and fun side of him :D
aw poor guan yue, im sure he will be great still! ayy mingming making everyone laugh is the content im here for!! lol i kinda feel like su yuhang got slighted this group..... like he shone so much in the last stage but they literally keep panning away from him during his lines to focus on the more popular kids like guan yue and zhenning... (who i honestly bias more, but i still feel bad for yuhang...)
YES MINGMING GET THAT RECOGNITION IN SPITE OF IQIYI .... omg i cant believe his result was so low wtf
omgosh ou tianrui is gonna be in the youth arts academy after getting eliminated.... ugh my heart............
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA YE ZIMING IS SO FUNNY  HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA AND THE WAY HE IMITATED MC JIN HAHAHHAHA IM DYING
i thought ye ziming would get higher, im surprised, but wang yi i can see why too
HSHAHAAAHHAAHHAHAHAHA SUN ZELIN IS THE GIRLLL HAHAHAHAHHAA 
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA SUN ZELIN DANCING RETREAT OUTTA NOWHERE HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA 
their group kinda got slighted with the screentime tho.... i think they would have a fun group dynamic!! but we didnt get to see it lol..... oo i like chuanjun’s voice!!! hes also so tall lolol HAHAHAHAH the head bopping energy is so strong so cute
HAHAHAHAHHAAHA ‘and then what?’ ‘AND THEN WE WAIT.’ HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA I LOVE HIMMM i bet sun zelin would make this group so fun, i wish we coulda seen more of their practice
hmmm overall thoughts.... they didnt give lin mo screentime during the times i expected them to?? like during the part when they chose songs bc he has such expressive facial reactions and they loved showing his reactions in the past but this time they didnt show him like at all?? ? and also during the ending credits, he wasnt in it at all either, and he was in last week’s 3 times :o but idk they gave him a couple of really random flashes of screentime (???) and his group didnt go this week so i can understand he would have less time. also they didnt address lin mo getting injured in the last ep’s ending credits this ep.......... IS HE ALRIGHT??? IS MY CHILD INJURED WHILE ON STAGE??? on another note, not showing zhan yu’s group this week really makes me worry about him not getting enough votes to make it past the next round, bc each week really makes a difference.... and he got zero screentime this week :c but he did go up 7 spots on the ranking so i have hope more people are noticing our main vocal!!
i really really have grown to appreciate ip due to watching ‘all for one’ simultaneously. one thing i noticed this ep was just really realizing how lucky we are to have iqiyi prepare such nice songs for the kids. like yes i liked a few of the first stage eval songs but i think im liking all of these second eval songs so far and the next eval songs sound good too! and like we should be soooo grateful they put in the effort/money to get good music, bc it honestly makes such a BIG difference. like the stages are just so much better bc the music is better, the camera angles are better, the quality is better, the time spent on the kids (altho is biased and flawed) is still better than ‘all for one’. and i do realize that one of the songs is the same, but i am interested in comparing the two bc i have a feeling the iqiyi version will be produced better, even tho its the same song. i really like some of the all for one kids, but qcyn is just a better show imo...... even tho everyone is hating on it lol......... it’s different from season 1, but its still good! 
biggest takeaways from this ep: YAY MINGMING!!!!!!!!!!!, im glad zhenning’s camera time is still going strong (he deserves it), jiayou guan yue!!, i need to start voting for ye ziming, and i love sun zelin. yep, that’s it. 
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enjwrites · 6 years
Text
red
rating: T for swearing and mild emotional distress
word count: 2155
relationships: enjolras/grantaire
Enjolras tries to drive home. He gets about halfway there before tears well up in his eyes and he has to pull into a corner store’s parking lot. He shuts off his car and rests his head on the steering wheel as he tries to control his breathing.
He calls Combeferre.
“Enjolras? Wh- it’s three in the morning,” Combeferre says on the other line, voice raspy from sleep. “Are you okay?”
Enjolras takes in a deep breath before replying. “We fought.”
Courfeyrac chimes in, a little distant from the phone, it seems, but clear enough. “You two always fight.”
“I’m putting you on speaker,” Combeferre says.
“I know we always fight. We… I…” He takes in another breath, trying to focus on what he’s saying. “We didn’t really fight. I don’t think it was a real fight, anyway. He just…” And he chokes back a sob. His abdomen tightens and twists, though he doesn’t really notice; he can’t stop thinking of the uncertainty showing on Grantaire’s face - the hurt, the insecurity.
“I love him, guys.”
“We know.”
“He doesn’t.”
“Sure he does!” Courfeyrac’s voice lifts a few octaves. “Who else are you willing to get naked around?”
Combeferre shushes Courfeyrac. “Why do you think-”
“Because he... He said he loves me. And I fucking -” a choked sob, “I froze, god, I’m so fucking stupid.”
“So you froze, what’s the big deal -”
“He left, Courf. He got up and ran.” With a look of terror on his face.
“But you were at his apartment?”
“I have no fucking idea where he went, I checked the cafe and the bar, but he doesn’t wanna see me, I fucked it up, he thinks I’m -”
Combeferre shushes Enjolras, now. “Do you think you can come home? I’ll make some hot cocoa, and warm up that cake you liked so much.”
Not much of a phone conversation, Enjolras thinks, but agrees, and does his best to hold back tears as he drives back to the apartment he shares with Combeferre.
Combeferre is waiting with a blanket and a glass of cocoa, with a peppermint candy cane in it, and a place of warm cake on the coffee table.
“I froze,” Enjolras repeats. Combeferre lays a hand on his back comfortingly. Courfeyrac anxiously paces the living room.
“You froze. He ran.”
Enjolras hums. We’ve already been through this.
“He must have thought you were mad,” Combeferre says. His voice is soothingly even, that’s a talent of his - he can always manage to comfort Enjolras. “He jumps to conclusions, you know that. He must think you don’t feel the same -”
“God, I fucked it all up.”
“Try texting him?”
“I’d call him,” Courfeyrac interjects.
Combeferre nods. “Yeah, that, actually. What were you doing when he said it?”
“Cuddling, sort of? On the couch. We watched a movie.”
Enjolras, in all his anxiety, has already finished the cocoa and cake. Combeferre lets Enjolras rest his head on his shoulder. “I don’t think I could call him.”
Courfeyrac decidedly sits next to Enjolras on the couch, rubbing his shoulder sweetly - it’s been a while since Enj has needed this sort of comfort, but they fall into the rhythm quickly. “Enj, love, if I were you,” he sighs, “I’d give him his space. You know how stubborn he is.” Enjolras nods - once, Grantaire said, laughing, “I’m a Taurus, being stubborn is my job.” It was funny at the time. Enjolras can’t laugh, now. “You can text him. Let him know you’re not upset with him, tell him you were just shocked. He probably won’t read them, now, but he’ll read them later.”
Enjolras’s phone buzzes on the coffee table and Combeferre picks it up. “It’s from Bahorel,” He says, relieved, and shows Enjolras the screen.
Bahorel (3:47 AM): grantaire’s being an idiot rn
Another text comes in seconds later.
Bahorel (3:48 AM): listen dude i know he’s overreacting but… (Enjolras then opens his messages to see the full text.) you gotta let him know how you feel. i don’t know what happened but he’s freaking the fuck out
Bahorel (3:48 AM): he keeps saying you don’t love him and i know for damn sure that isn’t true
Bahorel (3:48 AM): just text him or something okay. he’s not mad i think he’s just sad
Bahorel (3:49 AM): luv you xx hope it works out
Enjolras huffs a little, wanting to smile at Bahorel’s instantly-nurturing nature.
You (3:50 AM): I’m going to give him some space, get some sleep. I’ll text him in the morning. Tell him that. I know he probably doesn’t want a text from me right now.
Bahorel (3:50 AM): he may not think he does but he does. he’s starting to pass out so yeah text him in the morning x
Enjolras falls asleep on his couch, and wakes up late. His eyes hurt; they’re swollen, from crying last night. He has a text from almost every one of his friends - he expected this, because Bahorel doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut, neither does Courfeyrac, so between the two of them, everyone had to find out.
Jehan (6:23 AM): I heard what happened. You should text him. I can help you with that.
Marius (7:31 AM): hey i hope ur feeling ok
Cosette (7:46 AM): Call me later we need to talk
Eponine (8:09 AM): i’ll fucking kill you if you don’t patch things up with him i swear to god
Feuilly (9:45 AM): I’m here if you need to talk buddy :(
Bossuet (10:32 AM): Hey r is here he says you hate him? Did you fight? :( Talk to him soon he looks like he’s been crying.
Joly (10:34 AM): Come get your mans we all have work
Musichetta (10:40 AM): I’m taking the boys to work, if R isn’t out of here by the time I get off tonight, you’re getting the death penalty. I love him, but you need to work shit out.
Musichetta (10:41 AM): I love you, too, jsyk. Stop being stupid. Talk to him.
Courf (11:04 AM): hehy i had to leave for work but i will interrogate you on my break you need to talk to r he loves you n  so do i you looked so sad. i hope ur feeling better. Gotta go in now love u xx
Combeferre (12:21 PM): You awake? I’m bringing burgers.
1-555-XXX-XXXX (12:42 PM): its gavroche i stole ur number off ponine i heard what happened im on the way to lunch rn so i cant talk but you better fucking talk to him
Gavroche (12:43 PM): u dont wanna get ur ass kicked by a teenager
Enjolras’s eyes water as he reads the next message.
R♥ (12:57 PM): hey sorry about last night. its cool if you wanna like . break up.  i thought we were there and i was wrong. im sorry.
He locks his phone and tosses it onto the couch next to him, resting his head in his hands, willing away tears. He feels a warmth and a depression in the couch on the other side; Combeferre comes bearing a cheeseburger and hand-cut fries. “From that gelato place on 6th you like so much. I got gelato, too, but you were still asleep when I got home.”
Enjolras takes the place graciously, and notices that there’s already a cool glass of water on the coffee table for him. Can you be alive and still be made a saint? Enjolras thinks, idly, as he chews. His phone buzzes, and on instinct, he looks down at it.
R♥ (1:17 PM): you there?
R♥ (1:18 PM): i know i fucked up but the silent treatment still kinda sucks
Enjolras sighs deeply and sets his plate on the table, picking up his phone.
You (1:18 PM): Yeah, I’m here. Sorry. I slept late. Give me a minute, to type up what I want to say, okay?
You (1:19 PM): And I’m not mad. You didn’t fuck up.
R♥ (1:20 PM): you can say that but it’s not gonna change my mind.
Another deep sigh, and at that point, Combeferre squeezes Enjolras’s shoulder gently, then stands and goes to his bedroom.
It takes a minute to type it all up. He’s sure his food is getting cold. He doesn’t care.
You (1:31 PM): I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry. I froze. I didn’t know what to do, because I’m an idiot, and I’ve never felt anything like this before, it’s new, and I’m not used to not knowing what to do. You know that. So I froze. I fucked up, so badly. You deserve so much more than that. Grantaire, I don’t hate you. I don’t dislike you. I can’t get mad at you, or at least I can’t stay mad, because every time I see your face, I lose my ability to form words, you’re so fucking beautiful in a way I can’t begin to describe. And then you open your stupid mouth and even though you piss me off a lot I can’t be mad that you said anything because your voice is like fucking velvet and you drive me nuts every second you speak because I want to kiss you but that’ll make you stop talking. Please don’t ever stop talking to me. Listening to you talk is like reading the most interesting book in the world; the Library of Alexandria pales in comparison. You always say I’m an angel, but I think you’re confused, you’re so gentle and kind, behind all that sarcasm and bitterness is a sweetheart who just wants to see people smile; I’ve seen the way you are around kids and sometimes that makes me think maybe I want kids, I want kids with you, because you’re so fucking sweet to them it hurts. You’re so fucking talented, I’ve never cared for art or music but yours makes me feel in a way that makes Monet and Bach look like pussies. Just as a note: I can’t tell you what to do, but if you ever cut your hair, I think I’ll die, because you have the most beautiful hair in the world and I want to spend the rest of my life playing with it. Your eyes are so incredible and I know you see me staring sometimes, but you never comment on it, because you’re amazing like that, and I fucking love you, Grantaire.
You (1:32 PM): I love you so fucking much, and I froze, and I hurt you, but I want you to know that I love you.
You (1:32 PM): I don’t want you to ever think I don’t love you.
You (1:32 PM): I love you.
You (1:33 PM): And I’m well aware I’ve just written you a full-length novel. Sorry haha
Enjolras sees Grantaire typing for a second, then the dots disappear. They reappear again, then disappear - this repeats a few times before Enjolras actually gets a message.
R♥ (1:35 PM): holy shit
R♥ (1:35 PM): just
R♥ (1:36 PM): you made me cry you shithead
R♥ (1:36 PM): can you like. come over? Combeferre’s home on his lunch break right
You (1:36 PM): Yeah, let me get dressed, first. Give me, like, half an hour and I’ll be there.
R♥ (1:37 PM): ok
R♥ (1:37 PM): i love you
R♥ (1:37 PM): aaAAA i’m still nervous about saying that!!!!!!!!!!
You (1:38 PM): :’) Cute. I love you too.
R♥ (1:38 PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enjolras gets dressed in a rush, throwing on a band tee and those black jeans that Grantaire loves.
He gets to Grantaire’s place in 15 minutes flat.
He doesn’t even really need to knock on the door - Grantaire swings it open and pulls him into the apartment, kissing him fiercely, pushing him against the wall.
Enjolras lays his hands on R’s hips, while R lands one hand on Enjolras’s chest, the other cupping his cheek, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb.
When Grantaire pulls away, he’s panting, his cheeks are rosy and his eyes are watering. He stares up at Enjolras; there’s a heartbreaking uncertainty behind those eyes - he waits for Enjolras to speak. Enjolras rests his forehead against Grantaire’s, taking his hands in his own. Blue eyes meet deep brown, and for a moment, Enjolras is enchanted. Back to business, he thinks.
“Grantaire.” Grantaire hums in response, and holds up on of Enjolras’s hands to kiss his fingers. “I love you.”
There’s a shaky exhale. Then R is pulling Enjolras impossibly tight, burying his head in Enj’s shoulder, quivering as he whispers, “I love you so fucking much.” Enjolras can’t help but smile as he presses a kiss to Grantaire’s neck.
Well, that’s the shortest fight we’ve ever had, Enjolras thinks.
//
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swampgallows · 6 years
Text
it’s becoming harder and harder for me to find solace in places. the guilt inside me is becoming heavy. i know that if i want something, i need to make it happen, but i am so exhausted of having to do everything myself. and the things i do get help with i feel grateful, of course, but then so guilty that i’m needing to be helped that it’s incapacitating. i’m just so late in the game to everything. i’m so outside of life and what other people are doing. i’ve always felt that way, though. i’m never gonna snap into place like they want me to. 
i need to pick a career and stuff. i just have to like shot in the dark pick something at this point because there isn’t going to be some divine calling, my pittance from art commissions is not gonna be enough to sustain me (and i dont think i can get to a point where it will), im just so bogged down knowing that everybody is fuckin poor. 
part of me wishes i could wake up and just ‘be normal’. that i could throw away all the weird stupid shit in my life. the trashy little kid bracelets, the clown clothes, the nerdy interests, the ugly monsters (what on earth is an ‘orc’?), the hundreds of heavy and just plain weird records that are sooo boring and irritating and repetitive and loud and obnoxious. all the shit i’ve internalized about stuff i am beyond passionate about, the only fuel that keeps me alive and gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. i read once about brain trauma, that someone suffered an injury and when they woke up, all of their interests changed completely. they were a classically-trained musician, iirc, and ended up just selling all of their instruments and getting rid of all their books etc because it had absolutely no value to them anymore. they were completely changed. i dont remember what their new interests became, but... the thought of that has haunted me for over a decade. maybe someone will hit me in the head just right until i wake up and be a normal person who cares about normal, accessible things instead of all this fringe and abrasive fantasy bullshit. what if i woke up one day and became a devout christian? i roll over and my room is foreign to me, along with everything in it, and then i just throw it all away? i start over, stripped clean. tabula rasa. i get good interests instead. relatable adult things, like gourmet food and backpacking. i titter with the girls at the office and wear pencil skirts and focus on landing me a tall dark and handsome. 
the thought of becoming that thing is heartwrenching. painful. but it’s all obvious, of course, why i would ever have that masochistic fantasy of completely disowning my worthless oblong self. a me that isn’t ‘ruined’. 
i went through my kandi stash the other day trying to find all my kandi with bells on it (I could have sworn i had more). and going through a lot of it was a flood of memories. high school, college, raver days. when i was in high school, all by my lonesome, the only candy kid or rave-associated ANYTHING in my 4000+ fellow students, i had to wear a lot of my own kandi. and i did so as a beacon, a lighthouse, hoping that i could be a beaming signal to any other candy kids who might be in hiding. and i got so dizzy and self-consuming with my repressed interest that i became a zealot about it, being extremely rude and elitist about my interests because i felt a need to protect them. i felt the pressure of them looking to be watered down or erased. i was the same with warcraft. 
ten years later i’m not as rude about it, but i feel exactly the same way. in high school i had to wear my own kandi, would have it ripped off of my arms in big fistfuls by those who ostracized me, and had to be tongue-in-cheek and submissive about my passion, my very real and non-ironic DEVOTION to this. thank god on tumblr i can write 4000 word dissertations about garrosh hellscream and some of you crazy fucks actually bother to read it, but sometimes i still feel like that kind of pariah for having a very niche and very specific fixation. 
even people who played warcraft when i was in high school told me i took it too seriously because i roleplayed; and even roleplayers in the game told me i took it too seriously because i didnt want to sit around for 6 hours pretending to drink alcohol and trying to get laid, except as an elf. the fact that i really wanted to discuss the lore and delve into the story and the universe of azeroth, of how it would feel to be in that place, to live that life, ostracized me even from the people who claim to feel the same way. but roleplay was never about focusing on how our veins dont surge anymore as undead, how your digestive organs need to be removed post-undeath so they dont explode and rupture and hang out of your bowels like the abominations in the Undercity, how the undead are technically still the same citizens of Loraderon but are being ousted by their living counterparts in neighboring kingdoms. it was just “haha im a funny dead pirate man and i’m going to womanize 12 blood elf women at once behind all of their backs.”
in trying to become a gabber dj too, i felt like i had to take it upon myself because nobody else plays the music that i like. but alll of these things... it feels like i’m just building a house by myself. i feel like nobody truly, at the core, appreciates the intersection of interests that i have, or can only smile and nod at my fervor but not really understand it. and it’s nobody’s fault, nobody is obligated to feel what i feel. 
i’m glad people enjoy the garrosh posts and art that i make. and i’m glad that my friends make kandi with me now and encourage me to play gabber. i’m happy when i get some really good RP, even if i have to be the one to walk up every time. i’m glad that people want me to “do the thing”. i just feel like... there is no payoff once it’s done. everyone gets glad that it’s finished, and they enjoy it then, but then it dissolves. nobody is invested in it but me.
i know the solution is to be more accessible, but i can’t seem to imagine anything other than swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction. like, all or nothing. either you take all of my german expressionism with the warcraft meta and the rave shit, or you get nothing. i dont know how to dilute myself and that’s part of what was killing me at my job. i felt like a novelty. a doll. but it wasn’t their fault.. they couldnt relate to what i was talking about and passionate about, and it’s not their fault. they liked me because i was well-spoken and funny and a diligent worker, which are all nice and accessible things, but when nobody can cathect with me, really empathize with me, i feel like a jester. a consumable. 
my college roommates would tell me that they loved me because i was so funny. and that’s it. i existed as entertainment, but anything human about me—my passions, my interests, my insights, my memories—meant nothing. even my family will ask me a question and then cut me off in the middle of my sentence, expressing more of just their disbelief or confusion about something than actually seeking information. it’s why i stopped answering customers when they’d ask “how did you dye your hair?” and, like an idiot, i attempted to explain the process to them, thinking they actually wanted to know. but a few words in and their eyes glazed over, probably because they weren’t expecting a “real answer”. i began to accept that any questions directed toward me were closer to passive acknowledgements of me just standing there and existing in their field of vision than any sort of actual desired input from me. it’s like when people ask “how are you?” and you are obligated to say “fine” because it is the rote response. if you actually start talking about how you are doing, you are violating the socially agreed upon script of pleasantries. 
i cant do small talk. i cant do scripts. i dont get it. it doesnt make sense to me. and i think retail killed me because of that. i wasn’t a person. i wasn’t even an NPC. i was just a doll. an actor. a pull-string action figure with 5 fun phrases. i was so wacky and weird with my green hair and my silly bracelets and funny observations. ho ho what fun it is to work here with our personal jester to tell us funny stories about her cuh-razy antics she gets up to!
like how nate said “the craziest thing of someone’s year will be seeing someone play the legend of zelda theme on an accordion at a convention and for us that’s just like a walk down the street”. 
my feet straddle two divergent worlds and i cant pick just one but im about to fall in the crevice.
man i fuckin love ratatouille man. i fuckin love that film. i cant choose between two halves of myself. even when the halves want the other half dead.
i need a liaison. where’s MY linguini????
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kindaresilient · 6 years
Text
the lost empire
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art by the talented @embracethelighting thanks so much hun!<33
wow! Im finally posting this and I am so excited! Thank you to the amazing @stupidnephilimlove for beta read it and to my amazing friend Lisbeth for the amazing art. 
This is the longest I have writen(?) and i cant with feels:') so i hope you love the concept and the story as I do.
can be read on ao3
“But afterwards there occurred violent earthquakes and floods; and in a single day and night of misfortune all your warlike men in a body sank into the earth, and the island of Atlantis in like manner disappeared in the depths of the sea.”
― Plato , Timaeus/Critias 
He heard it before it happened.
There was the sound of an explosion, followed by the rapid buzzing of ships flying high to surround the city in a desperate attempt to warn everyone. To save everyone.
It was soon followed by the sounds of the bells warning everybody about the threat, soon madness was unleashed.
People ran. Families grabbed their loved ones, to safety. He was overwhelmed, watching everything unfolding in slow motion, and he gripped his toy tightly.
That was until his mother pulled him out of his reviere.
Clutching him by the shoulders, shaking him and turning him around to stare at him with wide eyes, full of fear.
"Magnus c'mon!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him forwards. Towards where, he didn't know. He wanted to go back, at least to pick up his toy where it fell.
His mom, sensing this, shook him. "Magnus! Let it go. There's no time!" she pleaded with him.
That was when it happened.
A streak of blue lights, the same color as the crystal, engulfed her. Her eyes shone the same. Her body levitated from the ground, going limp, and she released his hand.
"Mama!" he screamed trying to reach for her as she went up in the sky and merged with the bright blue lights. Statues of stone formed a shield around them...protecting them from danger? Or pulling them into more?
He didn't know. He just wanted his mom. "Mama!" he screamed once more, tears streaming down his face. He felt his uncle's embrace then, shielding him from everything.
"Close your eyes Magnus," Ragnor mumbled as he hugged him. “Don't look."
He stared at the bracelet that fell from her wrist. It was the last thing he had left of her.
She was gone.
The city proceeded to plunge into darkness, swallowed by the unforgiving sea.
Alec couldn’t believe their luck.
First the giant robotic lobster that destroyed their submarine and cost them the life of almost the whole crew. Then all the obstacles on their way down, from walls to machines failing and bridges falling.
The fiery fireflies and the collapse took the price though.
He heard the screams of Isabelle as they descended, and he called out for his siblings and friends on the way down, hoping they would make it. Also, praying he would make it.  
Then everything went black.
Valentine lit a match illuminating the darkness. “Alright, who’s not dead? Sound off,” he grumbled.
It was soon followed by moans and groans of everyone alive.
Valentine turned on one of the car lights and looked around. “Isabelle, give me a damage report,” he asked.
“Well,” Isabelle started, checking everything with the lantern she was holding, “not as bad as it could have been. We wrecked two vehicles but the digger looks like it could still run. Lucky for us that we landed on something soft”  
“Pomez ash,” Simon exclaimed from a little mountain, playing with the dirt and looking awed by it. “We are standing in the base of an dormant volcano,” he went on.
Iris hit Simon in the head with a bengal and proceed to shoot upwards, watching the bullet go up. “It just keeps going,” she murmured.
“Maybe that’s our ticket out of here,” Jace said. In that moment, the bengal hit the roof and exploded.
“Maybe not,” Iris said with a grimace.
Simon fixed his glasses and gestures wildly with his hands. “The magma has solidified into the valves of the volcano and blocked the exit.”
"Hold on, back off, " Maia exclaimed, speaking for the first time. "You're saying this whole Volcano can blow any time?" She asked worriedly.
Simon got close to her. “No no no, that would take a massive explosion of grand magnitude to happen.”
They all turned their heads to Jace, who was fiddling with TNT. He looked up. “I probably shouldn’t do this here, right?”
“If we blow the top off, maybe we could get out of here. What do you think, Mr. Lightwood?” Valentine inquired. Silence answered. “Mr. Lightwood?” he asked again, looking around.
“Alec!” Isabelle screamed into the cave, looking around anxiously for her brother.
Alec slowly returned to consciousness, feeling like a train fell over him. Maybe it did. He opened his eyes slowly, things coming into focus...and suddenly facing strange tribal looking masks, worn by people with spears and arrows.
He did the sensible thing.
He screamed and gasped, trying to get as far away from them. His shoulder stung at the movement. He looked down and realized he had a bloody gash there, most likely caused by the fall.  At this movement, the closest one of the… tribal people took his mask off.
Alec was rendered speechless. He was the most beautiful man Alec had ever seen. The dark bronzed skin had blue patterns embedded in it, they covered all of him. His dark hair was streaked with silver highlights, his brown eyes shone like ambers and his glossy mouth, hung open, looking awed at something, at Alec. As if he couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing.
Alec probably should pick his jaw from the floor and get his act together. He then remembered his wound and gasped in pain, grabbing his shoulder, and that seemed to snap the man out of his reviere because he came closer, invading Alec’s personal space and looked him in the eyes. Then he picked up the diamond that was hanging from his neck, put it over Alec’s wound and then touched it, blue lights coming from his hands. Alec was shocked at the feeling, and when the man removed his hands he realized the wound was gone.
Alec sighed in relief and the man smiled at him.
Of course, it was at this moment that the universe decided to interrupt them, in the form of the digger coming out of the wall, causing everything to tremble and scaring the tribal people. He couldn’t let them get away.
“Wait!” he got up, trying to chase them but damn, they were fast. “Who are you... where are you going!?” he kept screaming while trailing behind them. “Come back!”
He kept climbing rocks behind them and suddenly… he was standing in front of the most beautiful view he had ever seen. He barely noticed the others arriving, rooted in the spot at the sight of the enormous flying city surrounded by waterfalls and clouds and blue skies everywhere.  
“ Holy cow! ” Simon exclaimed somewhere behind him.
“It’s beautiful,” Izzy whispered.
Maia went to stand by his side and patted him in the back. “Lightwood, I’ve got to handed to you. You really came through.”
In that moment, they heard some kind of war screams and suddenly they were surrounded by the tribal man again, their weapons aimed at them.
“Oh, I take that back,” Maia said.
“Holy catch, who are this guys?” Valentine asked, reaching for his weapon.
Alec was still in some kind of dream. “They gotta be Atlanteans!”
“What?” Iris said. “That’s impossible.”
At this, one of the masked man started talking in some unknown dialect and pointing at them, like demanding an explanation.
“I think it’s talking to you brother,” Izzy murmured in Alec’s ear.
The tribal man continued, walking forward and talking to Alec. Alec stepped forward and spoke to the man, reassuring him they where here to do no harm.
Tha man removed his mask and -Alec realized it was the same beautiful man who healed him- asked him about their intentions, seeming surprised he knew the language.
Alec answered him, ‘they were exploring’ and again ‘they had no intentions of harming anybody’.
The man answered him with a big smile and Alec turned around to his companions. “They’re good.”
At that Valentine stepped forward, past Alec, and started speaking to them with a smile. “We are explorers from the surface world. We come in peace.”
The dark skinned man gestured behind him with a flourish to the city. “Welcome to the city of Atlantis.” He then proceeded to grab Alec by the hand, dragging him along like an excited kid. “Come, you must speak with my uncle now.”
Alec was happy to oblige, sue him. He barely noticed the others trailing behind.
The scenery was amazing. He didn’t know what to focus on. It was like a mix of lava and water, two juxtaposed elements combining together to create something surreal.
Because of the awe he was experiencing, he didn’t pay any attention to the other conversations, like the one between Iris and Valentine that would change everything.
“Commander, there wasn’t supposed to be anyone down here. This changes everything,” she told him.
“This changes nothing. Everything is going to plan,” Valentine snapped at her.
After a while, they were standing in front of two imposing stone doors. The guards opened it, revealing stones, vegetation and animals all living together in harmony. In the center, there was a stone throne with a huge lake in front of it. Sitting there was an old man with pale skin.
The dark skinned man stepped forward and kneeled in front of the old man.
“Greetings your Highness,” he started in atlantean. “I brought visitors.”
“Magnus,” the old man started, “you know the law. No outsiders may see the city and live."
Alec gulped hard and started panicking at this. Were they going to die? Just for seeing the city? This must be some sort of joke.  
"But Uncle! These people may be able to help us!" the dark skinned man exclaimed with pleading eyes.
"We don't need help," the king replied.
"But Uncle---"
"That's enough," the king said. "We will discuss this later."
Alec could feel the disappointment and sadness from the beautiful man. He felt the same. There's was nothing left to--
"Your Majesty," Valentine stepped forward, "on behalf of my troop,  may I say it is an honor to be welcomed to your city."
"Valentine. Commander," Alec hissed, "this isn't a good idea"
"You presume much to think you are welcomed here," the king replied.
"Sir, we've come a long way looking--"
"I know what you seek," the king interrupted Valentine, "and you're not gonna find it here. Your journey has been in vain."
"But sir, we are men of science," Valentine continued, "we're here in the pursuit of knowledge."
"You claim to be a man of science and yet carry weapons," the king retorted back.
"Weapons allow us to remove obstacles," Valentine replied.
"Some obstacles can't be removed just by force." The king got up at this. "Return to your people. You must leave Atlantis immediately."
Seeing things could get out of control, Alec got near to Valentine and whispered, "It’s best if we do as he says."
Valentine sighed at this. "We will leave. But may I respectfully request one night? It would give us time to rest."
The king seemed to ponder. "Fine. One night. Then off you must go."
That seemed to end the discussion and everyone turned to leave the throne room. Alec looked back and saw the dark skinned man give a sigh of resignation with watery eyes. Then the doors were closed.
"Your heart has softened Magnus. A thousands years ago you would have killed them all on sight." Ragnor sighed and lay down, watching his nephew stare at the closed doors.
Magnus turned around indignantly and approached, gesturing wildly with his hands. "A thousands years ago our streets were lit and our people didn't have to pick up scraps to eat at the edge of a crumbling city" he shouted.
"Our people are content," Ragnor told him.
"Our people don't know any better!" Magnus picked a wet drag and cleaned Ragnor's face,  "We were once thriving and now we live in ruins. The kings of the past would cry if they could see how low we have fallen."
"Magnus--" Ragnor chastised.
"If these outsiders," Magnus interrupted him, "have any way to help us understand our past, perhaps we can save our future." His eyes were pleading by this point.
"What they have to teach us, we have already learned," Ragnor retorted.
"Our way of life is dying," Magnus whispered.
Ragnor took one of Magnus’ hands between his, "our way of life is preserved," he told him. "Magnus, when you get the throne, you will understand." He cupped his nephew’s cheek with his other hand and Magnus nuzzled it and closed his eyes tightly so he wouldn’t cry.
"So how did it go?" Isabelle -Izzy- asked him excitedly as soon as the doors closed.
"I don't think the king and his nephew think alike when it comes to us" Alec told the team when they reunited outside. "He seems to like us, but I don't know, the King seems to be hiding something."
"If he is hiding something, I want to know," Valentine said.
"Yeah, someone needs to talk to that boy," Iris suggested.
"I can do it," Simon exclaimed happily from a corner.
"Someone with good manners," Maia commented.
"I have good manners!” Simon shouted.
"Someone with good people skills," Jace added.
"I will go!" Simon kept going.
"And who won't scare him away," Maia added.
"Someone who can speak the language," Isabelle commented.
"For the sake of the mission, I will go!" Simon insisted.
They were none having that, though.
"Thank you for offering, Lightwood. You're a good man." Valentine told Alec as he patted him in the back.
Alec was checking his language book, oblivious to the banter but perked up at this.  
He looked dumbfoundedly at the retreating team, leaving him alone to wait for the King's nephew.
Isabelle kissed his cheek and hugged him briefly. "Go get him, tiger," she told him with a wink.
He was screwed.
Alec watched from a column as the dark skinned man stepped out of the throne room. He went to hide and took a deep breath.
"Okay, you can do this," he told himself. "Don't take no for an answer. You have some questions and won't leave without answers. Yeah, that's it."
Alec stepped out from behind the column and started speaking when--
The man wasn't here. What that hell? He was just right here, walking the aisle of the throne room.
He sighed, already resigning himself when suddenly someone grabbed his arm in a lock and before he could scream covered his mouth with the other hand. He grabbed the wrist that was against his hand and felt warm skin under his fingertips and a breath against his ear. “I have questions for you” someone--the dark skinned man he realized-- murmured against his ear, breath hot with every word, “and I won’t take no
for an answer.”
He removed his hand from his mouth enough from Alec to mumble an, “okay but why--”
“Shhh,” he interrupted him, “come with me.” The man smiled and proceeded to drag him by his arms.
They climbed slippery rocks full of vegetation and vines,and ended up in some kind of forest.
“Oh, I have so many questions to ask you,” the man exclaimed excitedly as they stepped down from a rock, turning around to see him struggle for a bit. It was slippery, sue him. Apparently he was impatient because he grabbed Alec by the hem of shirt and tugged him down. “You are a scolar, right? I figured by your ugly set of clothes and that book you carry around,” he told Alec. “What is your country of origin? When did the flood reach there?” he started rambling.
“Eh, um, wait a minute,” Alec interrupted him. “I have a few questions for you too. So let’s do this. You ask one and I ask one, what do you think?” he asked nervously, afraid that maybe the man would say no. But he just gave him a reassuring smile and nodded.
“Very well” he said, swaying his shoulders a little. That movement shouldn’t be as entrancing as it was.”What is your first question?”
“How did you get here?” Alec blurted out and started rambling, “not you as a person, but your culture, as in all the people who live here, I mean--” he took a deep breath and tried to focus. “How did all this, end up down here?” he finally asked.
"It is said that the Gods became jealous of Atlantis," the man answered and started walking, "and that they sent a big cataclysm that buried us here. Honestly, all I can remember is that the sky turned dark and people were shouting. And then a blue light covered the city, it took my mother as if it was magic. My uncle told me it was calling for her. I never saw her again," he ended narrating, looking at his feet.
"I’m sorry," Alec told him, and he truly meant it, "if it is any consolation, I know how you feel in some way. I haven't spoken with my parents for a very long time and--wait a minute" Alec realized something, "what are you telling me? That you remember because you were there? That's not possible. That would make you like, an eight thousand years old man."
The man shrugged with a smile, "Yes, I am."
Alec stared at him dumbfoundedly, "Oh, okay… you look good." He blushed furiously after he realized what he said. He cleared his throat, trying to dissipate the embarrassment, "do you have any questions for me?"
"Yes," the man exclaimed, "how did you get here?"
"Well," Alec started, scratching the back of his neck, "it wasn't easy, but with the help of this book we found our way." He showed him the book and the man took it, looking through it.
"You can understand this?" he asked him, still not looking up.
"Yeah," Alec answered, "im a linguist"
"This right here, you can read this?" the man asked eagerly.
"Yes I can, just like you," Alec replied and saw how the face of the man fell. "You can, can't you?"
"No one can," the man answered, "such knowledge was lost when the cataclysm happened." He suddenly perked up, like the solution to all his problems was right in front of him, "you can teach me!" he asked - more like demanded.
"Um, yes, I guess I can--"
The man dragged Alec by the arm, "Come! You have to see this!" They halted in front of some kind of stone fish.
"...Is this a vehicle?" Alec asked.
"Yes, but no matter what I do it doesn't work." The man replied, looking a bit like a child throwing a tantrum. It was adorable.
Alec realized he was staring and snapped out it, focusing on the instructions that were on the stone fish.
"Did you try putting the crystal in?"
"Yes."
"Did you put your hand on the pad?"
"Yes."
"Did you turn the crystal to the right?"
"Yes!"
"While your hand was on the pad?"
"Ye--! Ah, oh. No, I didn't," the man answered.
Alec grinned and got up. "Well, that's your problem. That's an easy thing to miss, you deserve credit for getting this far honestly--" he shut up abruptly at the unamused face the man was showing. "Um, why don't you try it now?"
The man ignited the vehicle and started levitating. "It works!" Alec exclaimed happily and stared at him, who was also grining widly.
"I wonder how fast it goes." Alec touched something and the fish promptly moved forward and then made a zig zag, almost crashing into them if they hadn't ducked down. The fish crashed into a wall as Alec and the man stared at it.
After a bit the man started laughing and Alec couldn't help but smile. "So, who wants a ride?" He asked him jokingly and was rewarded with a smile.
Alec was so smitten.
They started walking again with apparently no destination, when Alec realized something.
"You know, we were never properly introduced. I’m Alec," he told him with a smile.
The man looked at him and smiled. "My name is Magnugakash."
"Magnuka-Magnuskash," Alec tried but for some reason he couldn't say it. "Is there a short version?" he asked, blushing a little. Hold it together, Lightwood.
"You can call me Magnus," The man - Magnus - replied.
“I can remember Magnus,” Alec answered with a small smile.
They kept walking and arrived at a river, and Magnus pointed at all the people who were fishing, working together. It was beautiful to see.
One man just caught some kind a lobster and threw it in Alec’s direction. He barely caught it, and the thing was thrashing and trying to bite him.
Magnus laughed and took the lobster from his hands and bit it hard on the neck. The lobster went limp immediately. “Here,” he said, putting it into the bag Alec was carrying around. “Tell me more about your companions. Your doctor, is he the blonde one?"
"No, that's Jace, my brother. His deal is explosives and such. Our doctor is Maia, the girl with the afro."
"Oh, so your mechanic is the one who keeps talking, then?" Magnus inquired.
Alec snorted. "No, that would be Simon. And he is our... dirt expert kind of guy. Our mechanic is actually my sister, Isabelle. She's the best."
"She sounds like it," Magnus told him. "It is time for dinner, we should get in."
They were in front of some sort of big, stone tent. Alec didn't even realized they’d arrived. He felt a hand tugging his own and looked up to see Magnus dragging him.
"Come, sit with me," he told him with a smile.
Alec had no objections.
They ate sitting close together, conversation buzzing around, his siblings and friends merging with the Atlanteans. At this sight, he dared to feel hopeful. He looked at Magnus, sitting close to him, talking and eating excitedly, smiling at everyone.
Alec smiled. Yeah, hope was a good feeling indeed.
Later on, Magnus took Alec on another walk. Magnus was carrying a lantern to show the path and they were surrounded by fireflies, casting lights and shadows on everything around them. Alec was honestly so mesmerized.
"You know, we were hoping to find buildings in ruins and broken pottery...but instead we find a living and thriving society." A firefly came to rest on Alec's arm and it tickled. Alec giggled. Actually giggled . "You know, these ones are kind of cute when they're no trying to set you on fire."
He looked up and saw Magnus had a sad expression. "We are not thriving," he began, "true, our people live, but our culture is dying, every year a little bit more."
Alec sighed. "I wish I could do something."
Magnus gestured around them. "I brought you to this place to ask you for help. There's a mural here, with writing all around the pictures--"
Alec got excited immediately at the prospect of helping. He took the lantern from Magnus and pointed it at the big stone. "You came to the right guy. We can start with this column right here and---Mm, Magnus, what are you doing?"  Alec asked him, a little stunned at the sight of Magnus stripping off his clothes.
Magnus shot him a smik over his shoulders as he continued to strip. "You do know how to swim, right?"
"Oh, I swim pretty boy," Alec blurted out and then cringed realizing what he said, "I swim pretty good, pretty good." He then stripped off his clothes too and was left in his trousers, joining Magnus at the big --river? lake?-- he was getting into.
"Good," Magnus said, giving him a knowing smile. Shit, he noticed his slip. "It is a big distance to where we are going."
Alec couldn't help but smile back through the embarrassment. "Lead the way"
Magnus took a deep breath and dived down. Alec followed soon after. They started diving through rubble and big pieces of stones of all shapes. Alec couldn't believe all of this was down here, wasting away.
They kept swimming for a while and Alec was starting to panic a little. Could Atlanteans breath underwater? Magnus seemed unfazed as he kept swimming but Alec was getting a little dizzy from holding his breath so long.
Finally they seemed to reach their destination, as Magnus got up for air in what seemed like the inside of an cave, followed by Alec who coughed his life out.
Magnus held his head between his hands and stared at him with a fond smile. "Are you alright?"
Alec coughed a little more and tried to smile back. "Well, I didn't drown so--"
"Good," Magnus exclaimed, "follow me," and he dived back in.
Alec sighed before submerging. The things he did for knowledge. He followed Magnus to the biggest set of stones that were there, all ancient texts and drawings being illuminated by the crystal hanging from Magnus neck.
They were close, Alec noticed. And promptly focused on reading and deciphering what was in front of him. Down there was not the place to die from staring a pretty boy. A very, very, pretty one.
Besides, he had a duty to fulfil.
He couldn’t believe what he was reading. He looked at Magnus and gestured for them to go up.
“I can’t believe it!” Alec gasped as soon as he hit the surface, followed by Magnus. “It’s the whole history of Atlantis, just like Plato described. I mean, he was off in some aspects but he got most of them right--”
“The streak of lights I saw,” Magnus interrupted him, and in this moment Alec realized how close they were. “That were in the middle of the city. What did the writings say about them?”
“I don’t know yet, but we are gonna find out.” Alec replied and dived back in. They studied the drawings from afar, getting close when some details caught Alec’s attention. Little by little he was understanding everything, making sense of it in his head.
He stared at the big drawing of what looked like big statues of men forming a giant crystal with their hands and everything clicked. He looked at Magnus and touched the crystal that was resting on his neck.
Magnus stared back at him, not understanding what he was trying to communicate. Alec pointed up, signaling for them to get out.
“It’s the heart of Atlantis!” Alec gasped once they were out.  
“What?” Magnus asked.
“I thought it was a power source,” Alec continued, grabbing the the crystal Magnus had, “but it’s actually the heart of the whole city, of the people, and the bright lights you remember. It’s all of it, somehow”
“But that’s impossible,” Magnus whispered.
“It’s what’s keeping you guys alive,” Alec said, a little too somenly for his taste.
“But where is it now?” Magnus asked.
“I don’t know, but there’s gotta be something in my book about it,” Alec replied and suddenly he realized how close they were, breathing the same air, Magnus staring back at him with wide eyes full of questions.
Alec gulped. Magnus looked beautiful and he was only human. He thought he saw Magnus’s eyes flicking to his lips for a moment. Could this mean…?
Magnus got closer, he could feel his breath against his mouth, but other than that didn’t make a move, giving Alec the chance to hold back.
Fuck it , Alec thought. He was surrounded by all the knowledge he’d craved all his life and he had a beautiful man in front of him. He deserved it.
Alec leaned down and kissed Magnus softly, sighing contently at the intake of breath Magnus took. Their lips molded perfectly like they were meant to be together, moving softly, testing the waters. They parted after a while, breathless and Magnus looking all god like with his bronze skin glistening with water, tattoos contrasting with it, lips parted, his inked hair with silver streaks pushed back, and eyes wide staring at him like he held all the answers. Maybe he did.
Right there in that moment, the real treasure was this extraordinary man in front of him.
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superemeralds · 6 years
Text
my sonic characters: a masterpost
I’ll add more whenever i get new info on characters and so on sakjsak
I used to have more but i gave some of them away so i dont feel like i should mention them here (even if those designs are not in use anymore)
[edit 4/20/2019 (haha) added nexus and links to character tags]
1) Saph the hedgehog
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This is Saph. He’s a 18/19 year old disaster gay trans boy.
I change his shoe design literally every single time i draw him. :)
I’ll go in depth about his past later.
Saph is pretty much all over the place and forgets to be considerate of other peoples feelings sometimes. He might come off as very egoistic of self centered, but he does actually care in his own kind of way (even when its. kinda bad bc he gives off wrong signals sometimes and ends up hurting people hes close to)
He’s looked up to Sonic ever since he was small and he collects all of the Sonic comics and video games. His dream is to meet Sonic and win against him in a fight.
Shadow is his big idol in many things so he tries to be edgy sometimes or act tough but he fails miserably most of the time and makes a fool of himself; which he doesn’t really mind because he can take a lot of things with humour (sometimes too much). He also uses white eye liner to imitate shadows marks, and he dyes some parts of his fur white to make the marks he already has extend to look more like shadows.
Shadow was the person that taught him how to control his chaos powers, because he’d always just weakened himself in the past, because he is super unstable. (If it wasnt for Shadow he probably would have died by now.) Shadow also was the one that told Saph to go to Tails for help with the buckles on his wrists and the rings on his ankles. They are made of a material similar to shadows rings (tails tried his best to replicate them) so they would help keep the energy in Saph balanced. Due to his strong affiliation to Chaos Energy, he could technically even turn super; but his body would be unable to hold the immense amount of energy and begin to literally burn down to ash within a few minutes.
He is very gay and in a relationship with Ezra.
He’s on T and has not yet had top op. (his bobbies smol its all muscle >:3€ )
Old pic of him and his bf as humans uwu
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2) Red the hedgehog
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Red is 25/26 years old and works at GUN as special agent. Sometimes he and Rouge get drunk in her club at night and joke about tearing that organization down (or maybe they are not joking)
he’s pansexual and horny 24/7. He has a girlfriend and is in an open relationship. hes polyam if you didnt guess it askdsajh
he’s blind in the right eye and has a tattoo of a star on his chest
(here’s his gijinka because i just. hes hot. he used to be the one character that had like 30 fangirls on deviantart and each of them would comment “nosebleed” every time i uploaded)
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ANYWAYS
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Saph and Red. They are brothers.
*WARNING: abusive parents, transphobia, homophobia, violence
When red was a young lad and Saph was still a baby their father snapped and beat Red up with an iron bar, making him blind on his right eye. Red took Saph and ran away from home.(Their mother died at saphs birth)
They lived and still live in a city a litte farther off Empire City.
Red decided to go to an orphanage because he could not possibly take care of an infant. (granted his dad couldnt either but it seemed the best possible solution)
They lived in the orphanage for a few years, but saph very soon showed sighns of being trans and got bullied by the other kids. they would call him gay and tr*nny and kick him until he fell silent to endure his “punishment”.
Red couldn’t take it and decided to run away with Saph again. They lived on the street for a while, but Red was caught by GUN for stealing. Once they found out he had a form of chaos powers (even if weak) they decided to let him slide and hire him as Special Agent.
Red accepted this and uses the money he ears to make sure Saph has a good life. This kinda spoiled Saph a little, but he also deserved it lets be real here.
Red made sure to enable saph to get education (which he totally refuses to acknowledge and take seriously) and physical transition.
*WARNING END*
3) Ellectra “Ellie” the tenrec
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[ pardon me being inconsequent with the design omg ]
Ellie is a 20 year old functional asexual demiromantic lesbian who is not interested in dumb boys and would rather talk about science with a pretty girl.
She can manipulate electricity and is called “Daughter of Zeus” by the townsfolk in her home island called Coral Island, which is located near the windsmil isles in Apotos.
She studies archeology and gaia mythology/ancient history, which makes it very convenient that she lives nearby an actual gaia temple. (She wants to be like lara croft one day)
At the 2005 black arms invasion her mother got heavily wounded when she tried to protect the town from the aliens and died from the aftermath.
Ever since then Ellie hates Shadow with a burning passion and holds him responsible, because she believed the government propaganda (provided by GUN ofc) that Shadow is One Of The Aliens. If she was ever to meet him she would be FURIOUS and ready to murder (she knows he cant die though).
She tried not to focus too much on that and just. do her cool ancient stuff.
Here are her parents Chion and... the mother i had still not found a good name for.
5) Chion the tenrec
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This gentleman is 40+ years old and proud father of Ellie.
Hes also a het ace.
Chion is greek for snow (as far as google translate goes) and he was named that bc of his white nose lmao. its like a snowflake on his black body.
He doesn’t have any elemental powers, but he is naturally very strong and will punch anyone who comes close to his family. He can also use swords and is a skilled swordsman.
He inherited an olive farm from his family and he does keep it going. He makes his money selling olive products he does make himself.
6) Athena the hedgehog
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Athena was the daughter of the “major” of the island that the family lived on (coral island), so she was expected to become the new major once he had to retire.
Due to the location of the island and the geographical landmarks on it, many raiders (and also eggman) have great interest in the ruins and mythological places. Athena is not one to give in easily and defended her people and the island from many intruders.
She possessed a less particular (than Ellie), but still fierce power of lightning manipulation. Having used her powers excessively, she sustained severe damage to her arms which showed as lighting shaped scars. She showed them with pride, because they meant she had fought hard to get where she was now.
She was bisexual and married to a tenrec called Chion. She was a year older than him.
The rings Ellie wears on her wrists were her mom’s.
7) Frost the snow leopard
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Frost is a 15 year old demiboy who really just wants to have a good time. He hasnt really given his sexuality much thought.
He lives in a small village in Holoska; hes actually even met the werehog. Well he saw him. but he was too afraid to talk to him because holy shit its Sonic The Hedgehog!!!!!!!
He has ice powers!!!!
His insides are like -18°C and he cant eat anything that is hot. He has to eat cooked meals when they are room temperature, or even cooled down to fridge temperatures ( about 6°C).
He basically lives off ice cream and dry meat (if they get fancy food from the city he gets frozen pizza) He thinks of going to the UF for college, but he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life yet so hes just having fun snowboarding.
8) Mitzu the Cheetah
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Mitzu is 22 years old and owns a flower shop/chao garden combo where she takes care of chao, while taking care of flowers and breeding them. Her hydrokinesis powers are very helpful in that!
She loves nature and the outdoors and feeling the grass under her feet, so she doesn’t wear shoes/socks. Ever.
She generally is very free spirited and optimistic!
Shes a big sapphic but shes also okay w being single atm.
Her chao are like children to her and she loves the chao that get left in the garden as much as her own. (ppl leave their chao there when they cant watch over them anymore or if they go for a vacation and cant take them with them or smth)
9) Dan the red panda*
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Dan is 17 years old and a big homo.
He has no special powers, except being able to eat and sleep more than the average person.
He’s from a very rich family, but his parents insisted in him finding a wife to like. pass down the heritage but he aint having none of that so his punk ass ran away from home to be his gay self and study art. 
He lives in a tree house a little off a small village in a more rural area in east UF, near station square. let the depression boy be happy...
10) Yoshi the siamese cat
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Yoshi is a 20 year old enby kitty who wants to make the world a gayer place!
They are studying fashion design in hope to one day open their own fashion store for queer people! The clothes are made with body differences in mind and they also want to offer a free customization service to fit clothes to every single body type.
They don’t have any special powers as of now but i kinda want to give them a power that could be helpful with their goal Im still thinking about it ...
11) Joel “Spirit” the Husky
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Spirit is fresh ripe 14 years old and Sonic the hedgehog is his big big idol. He wants to be JUST like him when he grows up.
It has come to my attention that he is basically the sonic universe Deku and I may or may not be planning to write a fanfiction for that...........
He doesn’t have any special offensive powers, but he has orange blood and he has the ability to read the Chaos Signature of anything he encounters. (called: Chaos Vision)
This means he will immediately know if a person he meets has super powers and he will also know what that power is. He can also guess the emotions of people because they are tied to the kind of chaos energy that surrounds a person.
12) Aurora the Husky
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Spirit’s Sister!
Her name is Aurora and she also has Chaos Vision!
She was born blind, but she’s been able to see with her power, so that’s just what the world looks like to her: Darkness with many many colorful lights.
Over time through hard training she was able to perfect her vision and be able to distinguish between a lot of things and even see things that only have very little chaos energy in them!
13) Axel the Axolotl*
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I don’t really have much info on them I made them pretty random one day bc i thought. hey. .... what if... axolotl sonic character.
14) Azul the cat
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Azul is my sonicsona kinda. He was pmuch my persona b4 i was kin w shadow. 
He’s an edgelord and i guess he’s still technically me; or rather what i want to be. 
He’s already on T and has has top op and he does not crumble away under social anxiety like i do askjdsakjd.
15) ( UNKNWOWN) the Pangolin*
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Similar to Axel I didn’t think much about him yet......  
he’s aroace and kinda goofy but he cares for his friends. He can roll up and do spin dashes and homing attacks like sonic, but he obviously doesnt have his super sonic speed.
16) Coal the hedgehog
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Coal is one of the newest of my characters; but he’s also one of my oldest. 
You see, Coal is a revamp of a very old crappy fanchild i had back in like 2012.
for reference thats him
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New Coal is 27 years old and a gay mess. He can turn into a cloud of smoke and control it at will. He is completely immune to physical attacks. try to stab/shoot him and u ded. hes coming for u.
he steals, but only from rich ppl. hes chaotic neutral tho bc he keeps that shit for himself safhsaljfha he generally just wants to chill and have his peace. 
he loves being an edge lord though he just wants that image for himself, even though he is kinda a softie... hes good at keeping up an act in dangerous situations though and that sometimes scares attackers off (also his powers)
Some gijinka doodles that make his age more justice than sonic style aksjfhaskj
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17, 18, 19) The Crew On ARK
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old bad art but i never really drew them, i did write about them in my fic about shadows past! (im excluding the black guy from the list because i didnt write him yet and i guess hes not really established yet since i got literally nothing on him)
from left to right
Nia, (that dude), Hikari, (gerald), Theodor
Nia is the daughter of a shamaran professor and a woman who owns a boulongerie in spagonia. She joined the ARK program in hope to make the world a more accepting place.
Hikari is is from an island near chun-nan (japan) and she also joined the program in hope to be able to help make a change for the better. she also enjoys biology and genetics a lot.
Theodor joined purely because of his joy in working on genetics and robotics that immitate life. He’s innitially from the GUN team but was assigned to work with Gerald.
20) Commander Jonathan Williams
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old art again sorry sakjfhsakj. He is the father of the current GUN commander! He’s 52 and a total douchebag. He’s kinda mad with power and genuinely believes that putting shadow under pressure to become the ultimate and strongest weapon (stronger than an atomic bomb) was necessary to end the war that was going on at that time.
I cannot spoil too much on what happened to each of these people as it’s spoilers for my fanfic. 
If you want to know more, read here -> http://archiveofourown.org/works/10992156/chapters/24482199
21) Sidus “Nova” the black panther (and 22 Badass the Chao)
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You see. The thing with nova is that i recycled him as human/demon character for a story sjkhfkafhsakj but he has shadow powers where he can use all shadows as portals into a shadow dimension that is entirely his own. he can travel through that but it makes him very tired. he likes to store capri suns in there and just take em out whenever he wants. He has a Chao called Badass (pictured below)
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his new human/demon design is below
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23) Blossom the horned Frog
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She is new and I don’t have much info other than that she’s from a jungle area; perhaps in adabat.
She secrets a poisonous slime from her body; yet her spit has healing accelerating properties.
A gene defect lets her never lose her tail.
24) Nexus the demonic sheep hound
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nexus is a demonic sheep hound mix?? idk i just didnt want to draw hooves aksfsakhfa
they can manipulate metal and bend it in any shape they want
however they cant make it float n shit like youd think of metal powers like magneto jsfhsakjf they can literally just. shape it like play-doh but with their mind
they wear those gold rings so when theyre in a pinch they can just make a bunch of cool knifes of a sword n be like SURPRISE BITCH IM NOT JUST PRETTY. IM PRETTY DEADLY!
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