Pooh & Dad
Today let me introduce my Dad, the primary reason why people link me to Piku!
Dad is not old like Amit ji’s character in Piku, but his body is like that of a 70-years old with many ailments. Life has not been fair to him or, may be, he has not been fair to life…we will not go there…Coming back to Dad’s age, he is just 3 years senior to Mr. Salman Khan (the first official hunk of Bollywood) :D
I would not want to bore you guys with Dad’s medical history but will point out his two major health-problems around which his life revolves.
First comes his ‘Bowel Movement’ (yeahhhh…go ahead….link this to Piku!). I am not sure what’s with these aged men and their bowels! (Inner Pooh : “At least, it’s the most important thing for Dad!”)
His second issue (which he is not aware of) is his Bipolar Disorder. Depending on where his mind is on the Bipolar scale, I am his ‘Gulab Jamun’ one day and a ‘Hellcat’ on other days!! I can accept Hellcat but which girl (Inner Pooh : “You mean old lady!”) would like to be compared to a GULAB JAMUN??? If it was a perfect Haldiram’s gulab jamun, made with pure ghee, dipped in saffron infused syrup, with a silver coating and a topping of pista, it would still have been great! But I am more comparable to those poor gulab jamuns in a dingy sweet-shop with sad-looking faces and no ghee or silver coating (forget pista!!). Now you see? We want to be Candies of the World and not damn Gulab Jamuns (Dear God…another item to be addressed in my next-life!!!)
Life with Dad is a mixture of laughter, tears, and anger. It’s a real roller-coaster ride! Let me share few funny anecdotes from Pooh&Dad archives.
Scene#1 :
I am in a deep sleep, floating away in the void of outer-space…. suddenly there is a bright light…(Inner Pooh – “Has the Sun blasted???”)….I wake-up with a start…my eyes flew open….I am back on my bed…..and as I see upwards, I see Dad staring down at me….Inner Pooh shriekkssss….
Me : “What is it Dadda? Why have you switched on the lights? It’s 4am!!!”
Dad : “Are you sleeping?”
Inner Pooh : “Yeah we are sleeping and now we are sleep-talking with you!!!!”
Me : “I WAS sleeping, now I am awake…What happened?”
Dad : “It’s ok, if you are sleeping we can talk in the morning…”
Inner Pooh : “grrrrrrrrrr…..”
Me : “Abhi I am awake…bolo na…what is it?”
Dad : “I was thinking when I will get well, you book me a 3-tier Railway ticket to Amritsar…I will go own my own…I need to visit Amritsar again…”
Inner Pooh : “Yesss…we too NEED to go to Paris….so we will first drop you off at Amritsar and then fly away…”
Me : “Ohk…we will discuss this later…first get well and stabilize your body….now let me sleep…”
Dad : ……
Inner Pooh : --------
Me : …….
Dad : ….
Inner Pooh : ????
Me : “Dad please switch off the lights now!!”
Dad (while switching off the light) : “Accha(btw), I did not had my bowels since two days, you are not giving me my Dulcoflex (laxative) tablets??”
Inner Pooh : “Not Again, Old Man!!!!”
Me : “Wait till tomorrow, if the issue persists, I will give you an extra dose!”
Lights off, Dad and his cane walk away…..Inner Pooh dozes off…..But Me?? I am left wide-awake, praying for my dearie sleep to return!!!!
Scene#2 :
Dad is a very bigggggg fan of Amit ji (Mr. Amitabh Bacchan). In fact he has literally asked me to find out Amit ji’s mobile number so that he can talk to him directly…(Inner Pooh : “Yeahhh, why not?He has his number published in wikipedia!!!”).
One day Dad was looking at Amit ji’s pic in the newspaper and calls me over and says : ”You have no idea what a big superstar he is….he is the DON!!”
I left the room, rolling my eyes (what else to say)….
But this gave me an idea to gift him a framed pic of Amit ji. I searched online, could not find any option….and then I went to our local photographer’s (who will be referred to as Bhaiya henceforth) shop….and….
Me : “Bhaiya, show me some photo-frames….”
Bhaiya : “Madam ji…look at this one….this is beautiful….” (he shows me 2 heart-shaped frames joined in the middle with lovey-dovey symbols all over)
Inner Pooh : “Ewwww…..”
Me : “Not this one bhaiya…show me a ‘simple’ one….”
He excavates an old box, from inside the box he takes out one dual frame piece…old but simple design…I had to take that one. Those where pandemic days…..I was lucky to even find this guy’s shop open…
Me : “Do you have internet? Please search for Amitabh Bacchan and Dharmendra (Dharam ji is dad’s another favorite) and let’s download one good-looking picture of each… you then print them out and put them in this frame…”
Bhaiya looks at me as if I have gone mad!!!
Bhaiya : “For whom are you getting this?”
Inner Pooh : “Should we tell him it’s for Dad? He will think we all are insane!!!”
Me : “It’s for an old uncle…he has his 80th birthday coming up…so just want to give him something which he will cherish…”
Bhaiya looks satisfied with the explanation and I leave the shop with a sighhhhh…..
The frame, with Amit ji’s and Dharam ji’s pic is still lying on Dad's bedside table….And every time I see the frame, I just can’t help smiling….
Scenario#3 :
I am in a meeting with my screen shared and presenting to my seniors in another part of the globe…..suddenly in my corner-vision I feel some disturbance….I look up from the screen and find Dad standing there, with his cane in one hand and beckoning me by doing gestures with his other hand…I do my random hand symbols to explain to him that I am in a meeting….but no use….he starts speaking in his loud voice…I excuse myself from the meeting, go on mute (Inner Pooh : “Thank God!! Else it would have been a live Indian drama for our foreigner colleagues…”)
Me : “I am in a meeting….What do you need?”
Dad : “I need 2minutes of your busy schedule….” (He stresses on the word busy)
Me : “Ohk…What is it?”
Dad : “You think you are the Lord of this house…you will control everyone….but I am telling you…you cannot control me…I will do whatever I want to do…you will not stop me…I do not need you or anyone…”
Inner Pooh : “Ooppsss…He has started again…moving towards other end of his Bipolar scale….note to call the psychiatrist…”
Me : “Okies…do whatever you want to do….now will you let me continue my meeting?’
Dad : …..
Inner Pooh : ……
Me : ……
Dad : “Ok….When you have time….play Anil Kapoor’s Laadla movie on my TV… “ (Mr. Anil Kapoor is Dad’s latest ‘crush’ :D )
Me : “Okkkk”
After completing my meeting, I go to his room and take the remote control and start surfing for ‘Laadla’ movie (Dad’s somehow not comfortable with any technological advancements….)
Dad : “Next time DeeDee comes, I will ask her to teach me how to operate this YouTube thing…”
Inner Pooh : “He has no expectations from you…LOL”
Me : “Where is the damn alphabet L…oh it’s here….now where is A?...”
Inner Pooh : “How I hate searching for anything on this television…such maze-like keyboards and you need to click each damn button one by one!!! If only you could handle advance technology, it would save so much of my precious time....”
Dad : “This Anil Kapoor Guy is also too good….there is no one like Amitabh….but Anil Kapoor is also a great actor….”
Me (still struggling with the on-screen keyboard): “Where are you hiding damn ‘D’….ahh…found you!!!”
Inner Pooh desperately looking at the recommendations panel of YouTube to show me ‘Laadla movie’ and stop me from typing anymore!!!
YouTube AI rocksss….we found the movie in the suggestions panel….set it to play….Mission Accomplished!!
Dad : “If you have sometime in your busy schedule…sit and watch this movie…”
Inner Pooh rolling her eyes!!!
Me : …..
And there are many more such anecdotes…..may be, I will share them some other day…
So, now what do you feel? Am I a Piku? Let us give you all some time to analyze this :D
Until then, ciao!!
P.S.: Do I need to say it again??? Please refer to the P.S. of my first blog..!!!!
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The constant reminder of everything lost
Decades and decades ago, there was one photo frame hung high up on the cream wall, surrounded by souls, breathing and laughing and crying and just living their daily lives. As I grew up, year after year, the photo frames began taking up more space in the house than the living, breathing souls.
I visited my mum a couple of months ago, and I was surprised to see the photo frames of my grandparents and my father and my uncle haphazardly stored in a closed shelf. Dumbfounded, I couldn’t quite make sense of the bare walls anymore.
Months later, it finally hits me. My mum has been living in a house that is largely filled with the memories and never-spoken words of the dead. And who am I to stop her from packing them up - them and their constant gazes and smiling faces that were captured in those frames without knowing that this is how everyone would remember them in the future.
Who am I to stop her from packing them up, them and their constant gazes, so she can at least try to live a life without the constant reminder of everything lost.
- mitalee deshpande, अकथित - untold, unspoken, unsaid
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Chapter1 - Pooh (& Inner Pooh)
Hello Readers…I hope you liked the Intro blog as much as I liked writing it…
One comment which I got from DeeDee was that I should have mentioned my age as, not ‘in thirties’, but rather ‘in late thirties’ !!!! Angry Pooh’s reaction was ‘Why not I say approaching FORTYYY!!!!’ …..(Inner Pooh – ‘If you round it off, you can even say FIFTY….’) GRRRRRRR……..
Guys, I need to introduce you all to another character in my life i.e. 'Inner Pooh'....Don't know what she is.... is she inside me? or outside me? is she some supernatural being???? I have no fucking idea….I just know that it's very difficult to keep her in control…she has her views, her choices, her comments blah blah blah, in every chapter of my life!! It was tough to keep her out of the Intro blog….but now she is going to peekaboo from time to time….please bear with her!!!
Let us now get further into the murky waters of the Pooh Saga….ahem ahem…
I am a happy single with no wants to mingle (Inner Pooh : "As if they care!!").... But I do enjoy ‘window shopping’ (Mr. Momoas and Mr.Clooneys of the world) from time to time….I do not have any budget for actual ‘shopping’ in this life …..however, I do have a long exquisite shopping list for my next life… (Inner Pooh : "God save the world!!")...LOL…
I think I am funny…I may not be ‘Mrs. FunnyBones’ of the world…..but I definitely am ‘Ms. Funnily Crackling Bones’..yeahhhh, my knees have started making crackling sound…OLD AGE KNOCKING!!! (sighhhhhhhhh)
I am labelled as ‘Fake Punjabi’ by my friends…I am a pure vegetarian Punjabi who has never been to Punjab!!!! I knowwwww…laugh at my expense….(Inner Pooh sarcastically : "How funny!! You expect them to laugh at this?? duhhhh" )
If I weren’t Indian, I would definitely be an Italian…why?....simple answer….I love (rather am obsessed) with Pizza and Pasta! (Inner Pooh : “Cheese, Wine…..#drooling”)…I love the way Italians love their food…I adore their open nature, warm and welcoming to all…. (All these ideas are just based on my knowledge gained from books and movies :D I do hope to visit Italy someday…….)
If I am half Punjabi, then I am half Bengali (ohkk…I get it…some similarity with Piku)….I have spent my entire life in Kolkata….and the funny thing is that I can understand Bengali (with all its slangs, courtesy to my college friends) but in 30+ years, I have not learnt to speak Bengali….my Bengali is as good as my Punjabi…’ektu ektu’ (little little) LOL
Those who know me well, very well know, how much I depend on ‘Muri’ (aka puffed rice) in my life….Muri is my soul….Puffed rice making me puffier…but who cares….Muri is Love… (shout-out to all the Bongs who share this love)
I have had the privilege to be associated with various garment sizes…XXXL to XXL to XL to L to M to L to XL….(pleaseeee God not back to XXXL!!!!) Life comes to a circle…I am a big round circle (Inner Pooh : "Stupid Woman! Circle is 2-dimension…you are Spherical…") (Me – "Shut Up !!!!")….ohhk….so I am a big ‘spherical’ ball rolling down the path of life!!!!
I am a crazy freaking romantic…be it Mills & Boon books or Hallmark movies or Lata ji’s songs (may her soul rest in peace)….I am a sucker for all these!!!
I am hazardous to expensive technological stuff….I dare not buy expensive mobiles or television or laptop or blah blah blah….You need to ask Singh Jiju how tortured he feels seeing the way I handle my mobile phone (btw same goes for DeeDee and so you can understand Singh Jiju’s trauma :P )
I have a special ‘God-Gift’ to identify doppelgangers….yeahhhhh….’Heyyy, you look so much like Mr.X’, ‘DeeDee, see! isn’t she looking like Ms.Y’ , ‘I have seen this person somewhere….’ etc etc (Inner Pooh : "It's not a gift, silly…..screws in your brain are loose!!")
I have serious memories issue (Inner Pooh : "the woman is saying something correct after ages!!!")...…the extent of which can be understood from the following example…..Open a soandso.com website, click Login, click ‘Forgot Password’ (Inner Pooh : " As expected….duh!!!"), change password, back to Login page, and….waittttt …What was the password??? And cycle repeats ☹
I have no love-interest in my life but I have FULL interest in other’s love-life!! In fact, every single niece/nephew I meet, I end up asking same questions…’got a girlfriend?’, ‘found a guy?’ …it has become such a bad habit that these nieces/nephews now say that I am becoming like those nosy aunties (Aunty mat bolo….DO NOT DARE CALL ME AUNTY!!!!).....(Inner Pooh : "Call her grannyyyyyy….")
I have this special talent that I fail to remember the names of things, people, places etc but I do remember their beginning alphabet…and then I play Bournvita Quiz Contest with my audience (I mean my poor relatives/friends)… ‘Arreee….it begins with an S’, ‘Sonu…I know this actor…what was his name? Something starting with A…’ (sighhhhhh) (Inner Pooh : "I am telling you from ages…you need psychiatric help babes!!!")
And the list goes on…let me keep something for my future blogs….If I tell you guys everything today, then there will be no suspense left!!! (Inner Pooh : "awwwww….how much interested the world is in your life….#sarcasm") ….But, I do hope that now you guys know me (& Inner Pooh) and you will be able to relate to our shenanigans…Until next time…Ciao!!
P.S.: Please refer to the P.S. of my first blog..duh!!!!
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