#interculture

[redd956]

Different Types of Culture

We as constant internet consumers often and very easily forget that culture is a mosaic. Not one person has one type of culture, and everyone you meet and talk to are walking kaleidoscopes of cultures.

Cultures derives from everything a person consumes, and every thought a person processes. When writing characters from cultures we are not familiar with we must research. 

However since so many types of cultures are never brought up people don’t realize it’s something that they may need to touch up on. Many people don’t even realize what cultures they aren’t apart of, and make mistakes in speaking up on situations that they know little about.

So here are some different types of culture

National

National is not the same racial/ethnic culture, even though the two go hand in hand. National or racial are often the cultural archetypes that come to mind when culture is mentioned.

National is culture that derives from the country we come from, and the experiences we hold with it. National culture can range from big things such as the average beliefs, to little things like what shape the toilet is supposed to be.

Racial/Ethnic

Racial is not the same as national culture. It derives from the ethnicity someone is, and how they were raised as that ethnicity. 

All the around the world there are culture wars going on over racial and ethnic cultures. Ethnic culture, like all types of cultures, can carry great historical burdens from all sides. People are very aggressive right now on how ethnic culture should be handled and viewed. And it is important to remember that culture reflects off of every individual differently.

Racial culture shows through in a multitude of ways, such as cooking style, celebrations and common beliefs, and even strings of dialects and languages that formed amongst the culture.

Socioeconomic

Socioeconomic culture derives off of people’s social/economic status, including class, position in society as a worker, and the privileges that come with money. There are many different socioeconomic statues, and unfortunately there is a lot of problems between how socioeconomic cultures treat each other. 

The bottom of the barrel lower classes are mistreated and exploited constantly. There is also confusion about whether or not people classify as either lower class or middle class. In some countries a lower middle class has aggressively formed, and many people in that class view themselves as just lower class.

Socioeconomic culture shows itself as behaviors and beliefs. People of wealthy culture approach many situations differently than those of lower class culture. Today is often shown in clothing style, and treatment of that clothing.

Identity Culture (Gender, Sexualities, Etc.)

Identity culture has always been a thing, however been aspects of it and how it is viewed has changed drastically over the years. It is important to note that many grew up with different values in identity culture, and many all around the world still are.

Identity culture derives from how we label and identify ourselves. Many people can be apart of labels but decide not to go by them. These cultures show themselves in different ways; pride parades, man caves, clothing style, etc.

other

There are many other types of culture, and it is more than important to note that culture constantly changes. New cultures form, some cultures die off, but culture is constantly changing. I may make a part two for other types of cultures....

#culture #interculture #interpersonal communications #different types of culture #writing culture #racial culture #ethnic culture #socioeconomic culture #national culture #identity culture

[yearabroadfordummies]

‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’... 

I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase, and I'm sure we’ve all preached it at some point. But, let’s be honest, everyone is guilty of making judgements about a person, before they know anything about them- it's human nature. This is not always necessarily a bad thing; as you may have seen in our last post on ‘common ground’, this is a natural thing that occurs that helps to improve the success of our communication with a new person.  

However, these preconceptions may lead us to become unsure of how to interact with a person, or how they may respond to the things we say; especially if that person is from a different cultural background to yourself. 

Kecskés (2014) has a very technical name for this idea- the ‘not sure’ approach. 

Have you ever met someone from a different culture, whose first language wasn’t English, and you found yourself ‘letting go’ of any mistakes they may make in the language, or providing more information than necessary to ensure they understand you? This is a clear example of the ‘not sure’ approach; you made a preconception that this individual may not understand you as well if you spoke ‘normally’, but were not sure on the level of their understanding, so took extra steps to ensure they understood.  

This doesn’t only occur for ‘native’ speakers of a language, it can also occur from the ‘non-native’ speaker’s point of view. This speaker may have encountered interactions where communication went a little wrong and may anticipate these mistakes in new interactions by giving more information, using more gestures, and/or repeating themselves more.   

It’s important to be aware of these ideas during your year abroad, as these techniques to ensure understanding are likely to be used by others and yourself, whether that be consciously or unconsciously.  

If you feel very confident in the language of the country you are visiting, try not to be offended if you feel someone is ‘dumbing down’ the language for you when they realise you are ‘non-native’- they only want to ensure their communication is successful.  

Good luck! 

-Daisy 

#linguistics #interculture #pragmatics #culture #advice

[lurkingteapot]

Every now and then I think about how subtitles (or dubs), and thus translation choices, shape our perception of the media we consume. It's so interesting. I'd wager anyone who speaks two (or more) languages knows the feeling of "yeah, that's what it literally translates to, but that's not what it means" or has answered a question like "how do you say _____ in (language)?" with "you don't, it's just … not a thing, we don't say that."

I've had my fair share of "[SHIP] are [married/soulmates/fated/FANCY TERM], it's text!" "[CHARACTER A] calls [CHARACTER B] [ENDEARMENT/NICKNAME], it's text!" and every time. Every time I'm just like. Do they though. Is it though. And a lot of the time, this means seeking out alternative translations, or translation meta from fluent or native speakers, or sometimes from language learners of the language the piece of media is originally in.

Why does it matter? Maybe it doesn't. To lots of people, it doesn't. People have different interests and priorities in fiction and the way they interact with it. It's great. It matters to me because back in the early 2000s, I had dial-up internet. Video or audio media that wasn't available through my local library very much wasn't available, but fanfiction was. So I started to read English language Gundam Wing fanfic before I ever had a chance to watch the show. When I did get around to watching Gundam Wing, it was the original Japanese dub. Some of the characters were almost unrecognisable to me, and first I doubted my Japanese language ability, then, after checking some bits with friends, I wondered why even my favourite writers, writers I knew to be consistent in other things, had made these characters seem so different … until I had the chance to watch the US-English dub a few years later. Going by that adaptation, the characterisation from all those stories suddenly made a lot more sense. And the thing is, that interpretation is also valid! They just took it a direction that was a larger leap for me to make.

Loose adaptations and very free translations have become less frequent since, or maybe my taste just hasn't led me their way, but the issue at the core is still a thing: Supernatural fandom got different nuances of endings for their show depending on the language they watched it in. CQL and MDZS fandom and the never-ending discussions about 知己 vs soulmate vs Other Options. A subset of VLD fans looking at a specific clip in all the different languages to see what was being said/implied in which dub, and how different translators interpreted the same English original line. The list is pretty much endless.

And that's … idk if it's fine, but it's what happens! A lot of the time, concepts -- expressed in language -- don't translate 1:1. The larger the cultural gap, the larger the gaps between the way concepts are expressed or understood also tend to be. Other times, there is a literal translation that works but isn't very idiomatic because there's a register mismatch or worse. And that's even before cultural assumptions come in. It's normal to have those. It's also important to remember that things like "thanks I hate it" as a sentiment of praise/affection, while the words translate literally quite easily, emphatically isn't easy to translate in the sense anglophone internet users the phrase.

Every translation is, at some level, a transformative work. Sometimes expressions or concepts or even single words simply don't have an exact equivalent in the target language and need to be interpreted at the translator's discretion, especially when going from a high-context/listener-responsible source language to a low-context/speaker-responsible target language (where high-context/listener responsible roughly means a large amount of contextual information can be omitted by the speaker because it's the listener's responsibility to infer it and ask for clarification if needed, and low-context/speaker-responsible roughly means a lot of information needs to be codified in speech, i.e. the speaker is responsible for providing sufficiently explicit context and will be blamed if it's lacking).

Is this a mouse or a rat? Guess based on context clues! High-context languages can and frequently do omit entire parts of speech that lower-context/speaker-responsible languages like English regard as essential, such as the grammatical subject of a sentence: the equivalent of "Go?" - "Go." does largely the same amount of heavy lifting as "is he/she/it/are you/they/we going?" - "yes, I am/he/she/it is/we/you/they are" in several listener-responsible languages, but tends to seem clumsy or incomplete in more speaker-responsible ones. This does NOT mean the listener-responsible language is clumsy. It's arguably more efficient! And reversely, saying "Are you going?" - "I am (going)" might seem unnecessarily convoluted and clumsy in a listener-responsible language. All depending on context.

This gets tricky both when the ambiguity of the missing subject of the sentence is clearly important (is speaker A asking "are you going" or "is she going"? wait until next chapter and find out!) AND when it's important that the translator assign an explicit subject in order for the sentence to make sense in the target language. For our example, depending on context, something like "are we all going?" - "yes" or "they going, too?" might work. Context!

As a consequence of this, sometimes, translation adds things – we gain things in translation, so to speak. Sometimes, it's because the target language needs the extra information (like the subject in the examples above), sometimes it's because the target language actually differentiates between mouse and rat even though the source language doesn't. However, because in most cases translators don't have access to the original authors, or even the original authors' agencies to ask for clarification (and in most cases wouldn't get paid for the time to put in this extra work even if they did), this kind of addition is almost always an interpretation. Sometimes made with a lot of certainty, sometimes it's more of a "fuck it, I've got to put something and hope it doesn't get proven wrong next episode/chapter/ten seasons down" (especially fun when you're working on a series that's in progress).

For the vast majority of cases, several translations are valid. Some may be more far-fetched than others, and there'll always be subjectivity to whether something was translated effectively, what "effectively" even means …

ANYWAY. I think my point is … how interesting, how cool is it that engaging with media in multiple languages will always yield multiple, often equally valid but just sliiiiightly different versions of that piece of media? And that I'd love more conversations about how, the second we (as folks who don't speak the material's original language) start picking the subtitle or dub wording apart for meta, we're basically working from a secondary source, and if we're doing due diligence, to which extent do we need to check there's nothing substantial being (literally) lost -- or added! -- in translation?

#translation #linguistics (sorta) #I love language so much #long post #subtitling #dubbing #transformative work #if you read all the way to the end - THANK YOU I am so impressed #localisation #this is not an academic essay but I still feel bad for not citing sources #low vs high context cultures and languages are concepts from intercultural communication studies #but idk how up to date that is or whether folks even still actually use them #I know they oversimplify things #but it helped me say what I was trying to here so shrug #languages #language soup #meta #language meta #fandom meta of sorts #thanks for the help sorting this out kayla <3 #my nonsense

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

pacing the room. Orsimer using the suffix "-wife" as a gender-neutral community title indicating one's functional social position rather than an exclusively marital term. ex: "forgewife" meaning a master blacksmith, under whom aspiring blacksmiths train; these are the people overseeing your most important smithing jobs and making sure your up-and-coming smiths are just as well-versed in fine detailing as they are in practicality and function. a community wife is therefore an authority figure of a kind, yes, but also one who has chosen to give as much of themselves as they can to the community IRT their specific skills; community members who hold a level of authority necessarily have a corresponding responsibility to their people.

orcish communal living requires a level of bracing yourself against your neighbors/allowing your neighbors to brace themselves against you that differs from more individualistic societies, which necessitates that the nuclear family be less of a rigid structure. children are the responsibility of every adult - you get just as much instruction and discipline and love from your fifty not-blood-related aunts and uncles as you do from your mom and dad. who you go home to at night is your individual thread in the many-stranded rope that makes up the community; if someone in your household needs help, then, you're their most immediate line of support. taking on the role of a wife (again, used as a gender-neutral term) in the context of a marriage therefore is saying "I choose to share first responsibility for your wellbeing."

this distinction leads to some interesting intercultural miscommunication - an outsider unfamiliar with orcish culture hearing about the existence of a forgewife, huntwife, herdwife, etc., assumes the title is being used in the way they're familiar with and that the chieftain has several wives by marriage; an orc unfamiliar with outside cultures learns the word "housewife" and assumes the title is being used in the way they're familiar with.

#Mouse talks! #something like 'fishwife' at least is mutually understandable interculturally (though the nuance is different) #ESO giving that one pamphlet author the title 'Immigration-Wife'... validating me #more specialized governmental roles like that are likely only found in 4E in like. Orsinium itself. #okay NOW going to bed. just thinking aloud as it were!!

[atthebell]

i am very happy about all the posts circulating about being aware of cultural differences and i think it makes a lot of sense considering none of these streamers will speak english and will have very different cultural touchstones but it is kind of funny to me how little people discussed this previously when we already did have incredibly different cultural communication styles and contexts on the server like. the amount of times things have had to be explained or people have gotten pissed off because someone was "too loud"/"too aggressive"/"too indirect" or whatever is kind of ridiculous.

like again im very glad and i hope this means they're continuing to learn and see what does and doesn't work however from the fandom side of things im seeing people rb things and im like okay so when it's east vs. west that's easy for you to understand that there's differences but when it's europe vs. latam it's not. interesting. wonder if rampant orientalism has anything to do with that.

anyway im not trying to be like a self-righteous dick about this and i want people to be kind and think the best of people without leaping to conclusions i just wish people had given more grace in previous situations of conflicting cultural elements and i hope everyone is better going forward

#bell.txt #sorry im like really passionate about intercultural communication and i feel like ive seen people be morons for months now #and i do think orientalism plays a role in how people talk about these kinds of cultural differences #so to me it feels a little :/ that people are like warning each other so ardently rn versus previous language groups #like im not trying to downplay how difficult the lack of a shared language will make things #but i think that's not the only thing at play

[lowcountrymountaineer]

Dom a Lloyd : Cymru Heddiw

Hiiii!! Please share this. This is a cool video regarding Black Welsh speakers and some of the progress and some of the obstacles that have been happening in the country of Wales in regarding to Black Welsh people. Everyone can be a part of revitalizing a language and in regards to revitalizing indigenous languages (like Welsh) anti-Blackness should have no place in the process. This is something I think no one really talks about and I LOVE this YouTube channel it needs more subscribers for sure!!

#welsh #black culture #black people #black girl magic #wales #celtic #welsh language #cymru #cymraeg #black pride #black history #indigenous #indigenous languages #indigenous issues #diaspora #intercultural #welsh culture #celtic pride #Youtube

[3-2-whump]

Friend needs cheering up?! *busts in your window with your favorite food and drinks*

So gush about your favorite whump tropes!!! 👀

-- @whumperofworlds

Thank you 🥹 you brought my favorites I see!

*slurping and munching noises*

So, my favorite whump tropes…

Well, I love an unequal power dynamic. Especially when it comes to the NSFW side of things. Rarely is consent asked in these circumstances, and if it is, does the disadvantaged party really have any choice but to say yes? Do they have the freedom to say no?

I love bondage because I am a human being with eyes and a working blood circulatory system. Idk how to fully explain it, but when I saw Aladdin at the impressionable age of …what, like four?… that was it for me. Just didn’t know what it was called or that I didn’t have to be embarrassed about it until semi-recently.

I also love culture whump, particularly as it pertains to language barriers. I haven’t published anything on this blog about it yet, but in my personal copy of Whumpee and Whumper’s stories (Khaled and Thomas), they can’t understand each other. One has limited English comprehension, the other doesn’t even know what language his pet is speaking. Of course, this changes as the story goes on, Khaled becomes fluent and forgets his natal tongue (with some encouragement), and that makes it all the harder on him when he’s eventually rescued and returned to his family.

Hang on to your hats, everyone, shit’s about to get real under the cut

My love of culture whump and language barriers probably stems from my long-underaddressed adoption trauma. I only just realized as I began seriously writing whump this last year that I also had my culture and my mother tongue ripped away from me without my consent, and, like my Whumpee, I may never be able to fully reclaim it in a way I would have if I had grown up within its framework my entire life. (No wonder I always write about it!) That is why, when my Whumpee recovers, he is never the same person he was before he was taken. But he is doing better than he was, even though his tongue stumbles clumsily around words his siblings could say in their sleep. He is happy enough. And that is enough.

Wow, making me emotional again. But it feels good to kind of lore dump/give backstory about the author now and again. And I do feel kinda better. So thanks!

#whump asks #whump tropes #whump community #deep dive into authors backstory #culture whump #language barrier whump #loss of culture #adoption trauma #interracial adoption #intercultural adoption #writing is cheaper than therapy

[lifeofroos]

Okay, since I saw a post about americanisation circulating again-

Another problem with everything becoming America is that we, as European countries, forget our own problems with racism in favour of those of the USA.

As an example, I will take my own university class in Interculturality and my classes as a whole. Because, without fail, these classes will have a segment on the systemic racism African-Americans face. In detail. Meanwhile, there will be a small bit on our own terrible history with Indonesia and maybe zwarte piet (something which gets discussed by the media for three months every year and at this point the whole country has an opinion on it).

But there are no mentions of Suriname. Barely anything about Indonesia that scratches the surface. Nothing about the current racism Maroccan immigrants face, or even the trouble with the mixing cultures. No mention of immigrants from China or Poland, nothing about the Molukkers. Not even any discussion on the caribeans, where we have some islands that are still part of the kingdom- by choice! That’s something interesting to discuss! Not even any mention about how we went to the USA and were not any better then the french or british there!

Instead of looking at our own problems, we get a detailed, in-depth look at problems that are more those of someone else’s country. Partly, this will be because our government is still being very uncomfortable about these issues (shame on them), partly it’s the univeristy’s fault for allowing American problems to become our problems instead of letting students look at the intercultural mixing ánd wrongdoings in their own country.

I am not saying we should completely scrap the problems of the USA from our curriculum- the USA is too all-consuming for that at the moment. But at the same time, BECAUSE it is so all-consuming, there should be focus on our own, domestic problems and victories when they want to give a class concerning interculturality.

#the netherlands #america #americanisation #american #culture #racism #interculturality #dutch

[medichamcham]

this is going to sound balls to the wall insane but i thought of gio and rose getting married (as the usual joke) and i ended up with the concept of a multicultural wedding!!! and i absolutely ADORE it... itd be so sweet to meld a traditional japanese + indian wedding together!! (would a shinto + hindu fusion wedding be more accurate??) if we're gonna talk ceremonies and rituals and food i will be talking for the next several centuries so ill try to keep it with the wardrobe aspect of things.

on giovanni's side, he would look sooooo gorgeous in a formal kimono!! specifically a kuro montsuki haori hakama made of super fancy silk... <3 <3

this is the most standard wedding kimono i've been seeing, its variations being nearly identical apart from colours/patterns. i think the classic, timeless feel suits giovanni perfectly!!

on top of that, i bet its super comfy to wear ;O; the loose, flowy material would give giovanni such a graceful, elegant look...

personally, i'd love to see a bolder iteration of the formal kimono to make it more memorable. i've been super inspired by this modern take !!

that pop of red on the haori and the pom pom would make for an unique but faithful nod to the original,,, i adore the detailed pattern of the hakama and the way it blends into the rest of the kimono...

and for rose he would look super SUPER pretty in a sherwani !! as opposed to giovanni's classy style of wear, i think rose loves to get out of his way to really stand out!!

perhaps he'd like to go for something uniform, but the fabric is super detailed with floral/abstract patterns, though not to the point where its too overwhelming. plus, i think the shawl that commonly goes with a sherwani is ESSENTIAL for rose's wedding look!!

this sherwani has the perfect harmony with gio's montsuki haori hakama, imo ... <3 <3 <3 perhaps rose's sherwani is made of silk or velvet?

a second choice that would work for him is an indo western dress!! since he's british indian i think he'd be inclined to wear something that is influenced by a typical european wedding suit hahaha. but i think it would still have that beautiful flair of the traditional sherwani as mentioned before!

definitely something i'd love to see him wearing <3 <3 he looks stunning in burgundy, and again, it meshes wonderfully with giovanni's kimono...

anyway yeah i really did waste an hour of my life researching and coming up with ideas. i cant believe this. LMAOOOOOOOOOO

#medi.txt #i absolutely LOVE the intercultural aspect of giorose. i am asian myself so i enjoy reading about eastern society and culture lol #its a fun way of me connecting to my roots i suppose. and getting knowledge most of all :3c

[pratchettquotes]

"What's slab?" said Cheery.

"It are chloric ammonium an' radium mixed up. It give your head a tingle but melts troll brains. Big problem in der mountains and some buggers are makin' it here in der city and we tryin' to find how it get up dere. Mister Vimes is lettin' me run a"--Detritus concentrated--"pub-lic a-ware-ness campaign tellin' people what happens to buggers who sell it to kids..." He waved a hand at a large and rather crudely done poster on the wall. It said:

"SLAB: JUS' SAY

'AARRGHAARRGHPLEEASSENNONONOUGH.'"

He pushed open a door.

"Dis is der old privy wot we don't use no more, you can use it for mixin' up stuff, it the only place we got now, you have to clean it up first 'cos it smells like a toilet in here."

He opened another door. "And this der locker room," he said. "You got your own peg and dat, and dere's dese panels for getting changed behind 'cos we knows you dwarfs is modest. It a good life if you don't weaken. Mr. Vimes is OK but he a bit weird about some stuff, and he keepin' on sayin' stuff like dis city is a meltin' pot an' all der scum floats to der top, and stuff like dat. I'll give you your helmet an' badge in a minute but first--" he opened a rather larger locker on the other side of the room, which had "DTRiTUS" painted on it--"I got to go and hide dis hammer."

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay*

*For the anon who simply requested "Detritus" -- I present you with the most quintessential Detritus moment I know.

#detritus #cheery littlebottom #samuel vimes #feet of clay #discworld #terry pratchett #dwarfs #trolls #drug awareness #slab #police #law enforcement #job training #first day #office gossip #intercultural communication #melting pot #a good life #weird about some stuff #just say AARRGHAARRGHPLEASSENNONONOUGH #quote request #long quote #extended quote

[yearabroadfordummies]

Sooo...have you got any pets?

We’ve all been there; you’re meeting someone for the first time, you don’t know anything about them, and you’re desperately trying to find something (ANYTHING) that you have in common to fill the uncomfortable silence.  

I’m sure you’ve thought about all the new people you’re going to be meeting during your year abroad, and, unfortunately, you may have to go through that first awkward interaction process many times. Efforts to establish common ground will have to be made, and you may well find yourself asking a stranger about their mum’s potato salad recipe, or where their sister went to university in an effort to do this. 

Kecskés and Zhang (2009) suggest that there is some shared knowledge that exists prior to an interaction (they call this core common ground). For example, if you move into a student accommodation during your year abroad and meet your flatmates for the first time, you can quite easily assume that your flatmates are also fellow students, and you can assume this prior to your first interaction with them. In addition to core common ground, there is also the idea of emergent common ground. From the name, you can probably guess that this is shared knowledge that emerges as you interact with a person, and that you can use in future interactions. For example, as you chat, you may come to share the knowledge that you and the person you are interacting with met before in Spain in July 2010, and made a sandcastle together on the beach (this interaction actually happened to me). 

So, now that you know the importance of establishing common ground, you can put our new shared knowledge to good use when you arrive in your year abroad destination. The easiest way to approach this is by talking about what you already know you have in common- whether that be the accommodation you live in, or the matching jumper that you both happen to be wearing; more and more shared knowledge can only blossom from there. If not, well, maybe you guys just aren’t meant to be friends, and that’s ok! 

Everyone’s feeling awkward, you might as well just take the leap and ask about their favourite dance move- it might be the same as yours! 

Good luck! 

-Daisy 

#linguistics #interculture #pragmatics #culture #advice

[teapotart]

A special relationship has begun

#original story #chemistry and life #selkie #october 2022 #au #folger #emy #intercultural communication is happening

[polyglot-thought]

Very cool cross-cultural dress I came across on Google: Uber Dandy Kimono's red samakaka yukata

I'd never heard of samakaka print before seeing this online. According to Continent Clothing: "a Samakaka is a fabric or clothing with symbols typically from the Mumuila tribe." and on the Uber Dandy Kimono website it is described as a "tribal Angolan (samakaka) print".

Lately I've found cross-cultural kimono and yukata super interesting, and it feels like its very easy to mix any cultural or popular design into a kimono because there's no requirement for specific colors or patterns.

#crossculturalinterracial #cross cultural #yukata #kimono #african culture #african fashion #afrofuturism #afrofusion #culture mix #cross cultural communication #kimono dress #kimono style #kimono art #kimono print #samakaka #angolan culture #angola #mumuila #mumuila tribe #intercultural #interacial #african tribe #african designer #african art #japanese kimono #Japanese yukata #african yukata #african kimono #culture mixing #japanese culture

[katiajewelbox]

“Recognize when things no longer serve a purpose and begin to harm you. You let it go not because of arrogance or pride but because it doesn't fit into your life anymore. So close the chapter, learn the lessons and shake off the dust. Don’t waste your life. Move on.” (Mufti Menk)

This post is a highly personal story and pretty atypical from what I share on social media, but I feel it is crucial to be open about what has recently happened in my life to satisfy people’s curiosity. A heartfelt thank you to the folks who have given me emotional support during this journey so far.

As some of you may know, I was in a long-term relationship that recently ended. The person I once loved found me at Imperial College several years ago. At first, it seemed like a perfect match. We had a beautiful friendship as well as many shared values and goals in life. Our bond seemed so strong that we made plans for our future life together. However, we ended up being long-distance during most of our relationship due to the pandemic and other complications. We diligently stayed in touch and kept each other company during this stressful time while staying hopeful about our future as a couple.

However, things drastically changed between us in the last year. When my Dad became sick and passed away, my partner completely let me down in terms of help and emotional support. That made me feel very alone in the relationship when I needed the strength of a loving partner. This year he did travel from his home country to the UK to spend time with me. We had a lovely time, but sadly it turned out our life goals had significantly diverged during the time apart.

His life now revolved around his career and building wealth. He made it clear that he expected me to leave the life I have built for myself in the UK to relocate to his home country and later to follow him around the world while he built his career. He also pressured me to take unreasonable personal and financial risks for the sake of “our” future, which made me feel unsafe with him. Over the last year, he became less open in our interactions and seemed to be hiding many important things in his personal and professional life from me. When I was struggling with depression last year, he was cold and sarcastic towards me. In addition, he become more critical and judgemental towards me, while showing hints of possible coercive controlling tendencies.

Over the course of our serious conversations about our future plans, I came to a heart-breaking realisation – I did not love or trust him anymore. I tried to be open minded and explore the possibilities of taking a leap of faith with him in our potential life together, but there were too many red flags to ignore. When I imagined my future with him I felt dread, and when I imagined my future without him I felt free and hopeful. After much reflection and soul-searching, I realised that we had to go our separate ways and I decisively ended the relationship. He was shocked and disappointed, but in time he may find someone who is a better fit with his socioeconomic background and culture. At least, he will find solace in his career, which is his real love in life.

I am sharing this story to encourage anyone who feels trapped in a situation by social expectations or fear to reclaim their freedom. Sometimes, what seemed perfect at an earlier stage of one’s life can turn out to be a nightmare as people and situations evolve. I feel much more optimistic about my future now that I am free to pursue my dreams and be true to myself.

Art Credit: AI generated composition based on the French Impressionist style by Katia Hougaard and DALL E.

#relationship #love story #love #inspirational quotes #breakup #heartbreak #breaking news #ending relationships #coercive control #intercultural #couples #freedom

[girlleavinghome-blog]

Hey yo

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on here, and a lot of things have changed since then. I used to be anonymous because of safety but I’ve decided to change that. I want to ~reveal~ myself so I can connect better with people. (I might change my username soon also!!)

I used to post on this account to express my feelings and get things off my chest. It felt like a safe space for me to be myself without any judgement.

Now, I'm happy to say that I've found someone who accepts and loves me for who I am. I'm in an intercultural relationship with a partner who has helped me break free from the chains of my past. I want to share my journey with you and let you know that it is possible to find happiness and love even in the midst of a difficult situation.

I can’t believe that I am in a spot where I’m actually hopeful and excited about my future.

I hope that my posts can encourage others who may be going through similar experiences. I'm excited to connect with all of you and share more about my life and journey. Thank you for being here with me, and I can't wait to see what the future holds.

#exmuslim #interracial #diary #interracial relationship #intercultural relationship #middle eastern #religion #depression #ex muslim #exmoose #positivity #feminism #feminist

[k-core]

Still from Let 1,000 Flowers Bloom (Mood) by Kai (Kari) Altmann, 2024 Video, Images, Installation

#kai altmann #kari altmann #let 1000 flowers bloom #ai #intercultural #iterations #render