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#it shut them both up so

i fucking hate when a character in a show or video game or sumthin has clear symptoms of psychosis or schizophrenia n people r like “oh they have severe depression 😔😔😔” like depression n anxiety r the only mental illnesses that r valid n likely to yall bc theyre the only ones u experience and it shows

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Intrusive thoughts suck so much!

Especially when your brain suggests some toxic old belief you had when you were younger and stupider, and you gotta inwardly yell at yourself for being a stupid asshole!

Like we are not like that anymore so don’t do this to me brain! I will beat the shit out of you and then we’ll both be sad/angry/guilty.

Let me focus on who I am NOW, instead of dwelling on old useless things that never worked for me in the past. I’m doing better than before. I’m changing. Hopefully for the better.

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all three! wasteland, no rules just right! this got super long but readmores dont work on asks for me lately so please endure this bigass post im sorry

from this post 

i. a kiss to shut them up 

The fog was as thick as ever, and the two people navigating it weren’t getting any closer to finding its source, thanks to the fact one of them would not stop asking questions. What if it’s a demon? Do you even have any talismans on you? You didn’t only bring candy, right? Are there any corpses in this fog? You know how I feel about corpses, right!? 

It was incessant. Xue Yang gave Wen Chao’s hand a harsh squeeze as he shot him an annoyed look. 

“When I agreed to let you come with me I thought you’d at least be of some help,” he huffed, “but all you do is nag.”

“My nagging is helping, smartass! Can’t you see I’m trying to keep us alive?” Wen Chao flailed in agitation. 

“You’re just gonna make whatever is lurking in the fog find us faster,” Xue Yang teased him with a little smirk, clearly hoping to scare him.

“Oh yeah!? Good! When it finds us, I’ll at least be prepared, so what are you going to d-” Wen Chao’s panicked ranting was interrupted by firm lips pressed to his own as equally firm hands grasped his hips.

As a silencing method, it was effective, but Xue Yang hadn’t anticipated that Wen Chao would practically throw himself at him, utterly shameless even when out in the open.

At least the fog provided a decent cover from prying eyes- of which, unbeknownst to them, there were plenty.

ii. a kiss for comfort

“I’m a piece of shit.” 

Wen Chao stared down at the empty wine jar between them, pitifully petting the large orange cat on the other side of him. His nose was tinged pink from how quickly he’d chugged the alcohol.

“What? Come on,” Xue Yang, equally inebriated, waved his hand around dismissively while reaching for the jar. “You were a piece of shit. You’re fine now. You have a house and a cat. Doesn’t get better than that.”

“No, I’m still… Because when I’m left alone, I get angry. I feel betrayed,” Wen Chao sniffled pathetically, snatching the jar from Xue Yang. 

Neither had really realized it was empty.

“I’m no,” it took Xue Yang twenty seconds to find his next word, “expert on the subject. Of feelings. But that sounds like standard shit.”

“Isn’t it bad?” Wen Chao pouted, resting his head against the kitchen bench. 

“Yes. Emotions are bad. And you have them. So you’re bad,” Xue Yang nodded sagely before laughing. “Don’t even go there. You’re lucky to be able to feel things like normal people.”

Wen Chao started petting the jar instead of the cat, who had curled up between them to take a nap. He blinked slowly at Xue Yang as he tried to think of a rebuttal.

“You’re lucky,” Xue Yang repeated in a more somber tone, his eyes glassy and distant. “When I got something like this, I just threw it away.” 

“I thought you said they did betray you,” Wen Chao managed to slur. 

Xue Yang snorted softly and shook his head. “No. Yes- maybe. I think so. But if I’d just kept my hands to myself, they wouldn’t have needed to. I think, I don’t know. I sound like that damn headshaker, not knowing anything. Dick. I should’ve cut out his tongue when I had the… Ah, see, that’s what I mean.”

Wen Chao wasn’t sure he understood. His brain was running far slower than normal, whereas Xue Yang seemed to be jumping from thought to thought. Regardless, he was at least able to recognize that the man had emotional problems, to put it lightly. 

“Is…” He attempted to string a sentence together. “Is not keeping your hands to yourself… Why your-??”

Now it was Xue Yang’s turn to be confused. It took Wen Chao pointing to his own hand for him to understand. 

“This?” He raised his gloved hand and was met with a nod. “No, that was something else. A loooong time ago. People have never wanted me around.”

“Well,” Wen Chao hiccuped with a little smile, leaning over the sleeping cat to press his head to Xue Yang’s shoulder. “I want you around. You’re my friend. We’re in this together!” 

He took Xue Yang’s hand before he could protest, a gesture that was met with an incredulous puff of air. “Yeah, right, as soon as things go back to normal, you won’t even look at m…e…”

His words fell on deaf ears. Wen Chao was already kissing his hand, resting his lips where his finger used to be.

iii. a kiss without a motive 

“W… What was that for?”

Wen Chao hadn’t even been doing anything interesting when Xue Yang hopped in front of him and gave him a playful peck. He had laundry in his arms, he’d just come back from making the bed, and he hadn’t made any sweets or anything in the last two days. So why was he suddenly being kissed, unprompted?

Xue Yang seemingly found this question to be ridiculous. He quirked a brow and offered Wen Chao a curious smile. 

“You mean I need to have a reason?”

 Wen Chao dove head first into the laundry basket to avoid having to be seen blushing. 

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