#its not healthy for me to be this attached to these characters my god | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stuffforme2 · 18 days

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Okay listen I lvoe the pjo books and series with all ym heart but.. everyone talks about them like they're perfect WHICH THEYRE NOT any problems are kinda brushed under the rug and I find thst kinda werid? Like you'll see other books and TV shows get dragged and canceled for the stuff in Riordan books and yet pjo doesn't?? So.. uhhHHHH yeah that's jsut something I noticed.

The weird relationshipd ynamics. Rick is like allergic to someone bring okay with being single or jsut aromantic like you can say Reyna but her having a crush kn Jason?? Yes she rejected Apollo but her relationship with Jason deterioted brcuz she had a 'crush' on the guy and that doesn't really amke sense to me (I can go into so much detail kn this)

AND LEO AND CALYPSO OMFG that is a toxic relationship. The age gap. The way calypso treats Leo. The fact Leo SHOULD NOT be with someone like this man hasn't dealt with his attachment and Abandonment issues like st all?!

The literal only black character in the pjo books being beckendorf.. then he dies. Then the Korean/Asian (I'm not sure sorry) character dies, Ethan. And like I understand Percy is hinted st being Hispanic (have seen many ppl talk about this dont mnow if it's common knowldhe) but it's never confirmed or added??? I know Rick fixes it later but it's still weird to me lmaoo

Rick unable to keep consistent personality. Woobigying Nico OH MY GOD NICO HE BECOMES GAY AND THSTS WHDT EVERYONE FUCKING FOCUSES ON AND HE SHOULD'VE NEVER GOTTEN WITH WILL ATLWAST NOT THAT QUICK it's not healthy. Their relationship was rushed and didn't make sense I felt like people only like ot becuz it's a gay relationship??

And oh mygods— Samirah. I am not Muslim and I am not an expert on the Nuslim religion but there is so much shitbthatbeas wrong in thst book that I even knew was incorrect and jsut weird to happen?! The AMOUNT OF TIMES HER HIJAB CAME OFF and I'm also like "yaayyyy representation" but it could've been as easy as one Google search. one.

Jason. Jason as a whole. He had the most potential out of ANYONE and personally I think he had more potential then Percy like his story is so INTERESTING and then.. Rick knocked him iut with a brick multiple times, didn't work kn his sotry or trauma at all, then KILLED HIM. Same with Ethan. I am so Vitter about these two.. HELL EVEN LEO AND FRANK.

Also the way he made Annabeth first quest (first quest SHE IS LEADING AND IS HER PROHECY) all about Percy. I was reading it and I was like "bitxh— this is Annabeth Quest?!" LIKE he it pissed me off that Annabeth was swept to rhe side as Percy's lvoe interest giving her knly enough personality and stary to make her jnteredting enough to eb loved but never delving jntk it into Mark kf Athena and even at Mark of Athena it all rounded back tk her and Percy's relationship LIKE JESUS CHRIST DO THESE MFERS PASS THE BELLDAN TEST?!

The low key incest at the beginning ricj writing that all the demigods had the same impish features at rhe start and then.. jsut.. CHSNGING IT?!

Not letting a virgin goddess who has no history of having children have.. children.. NOW you may be wondering 'but then how would we get Annabeth?'— JUST GiVE ATHENA HER FAVOURITE CHOSEN PPL LIKE SHE DID WITH ODYSSEUS let her stay childless. Jsut let her choose some children she'd like as hers wonce they're Bron and she then blesses them as her heroes, that's how she treats them any way and it also gets rid of the incest?!

Also the fact it's implied that Annabeth is only smart becuz she's a child of Athena.. Rick made a virgin goddess technically have children so he can have a smart women character and that's just.. EuGGHHhHHh JUST LET HER BE SMART IT NOT THAT HARD "Oh, no, I'm not smart because Athena chose me.. Athena chose me because I was already smart" Smacks you with common fucking sense.

Also Annabeth ALWAYS needing to eb saves and its always done by a man. OMFG AND GROVES GF DHE HAS NO PERSONALITY OUTSIDE OF BEING SOEM GUSY GF EVEN THOUGH HES GONE FOR MKNTHS AND BAREKY CONTAXTS HER?!

The whole apheodite cabin. The whole aphrodite cabin. The whole aphrodite cabin.

The fact it's clear Rick doesn't think girly girls cant be strong or into fighting or able to wield a fuckign weapon. The way he makes nearly every girly girl into a total mean bitch or ruins their characters.

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last-words-ofashootingstar · 8 months

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The Garden

Chapter One

❥Prince!Park Seonghwa x fem reader

☆ feat. ateez, tomorrow x together, and others

➯a/n: i've had this idea in the drafts for a very long time and it's gone through a million iterations of characters and love interests and something about hwa in the skirt and sword clicked in my brain. i'm still recovering but this idea hit me hard and fast so i decided i'd put something out. i promise i'll stop starting new stories 😭 (shoutout to my gf again for helping this come to life)

✃"I will give you the happy ending you've always wanted."

✫彡wordcount: 2.7k

(✯◡✯)genre: historical fantasy au, drama

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: mentions of violence, anxiety, and loved ones passing, briefly proof read

⁂taglist: @stvrfir3 @tunaasan

MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI

𖢌

I hope this letter has found you well.

The wheels crunch the gravel road. Horses hooves clap against the ground loudly. The waves crash just feet way. The sounds echo through the carriage.

I know it's short notice.

The sun is casting down from a clear sky. The grass is healthy, green and lush. The ocean is vast and blue, foam from the waves clings to the pure white sand.

Taedemere is in jeopardy. We are at war. Lord Hwang declared it silently.

It was a bumpy ride. A long one. But you don't seem to mind. You keep your sisters entertained and keep your brothers minds off of the impending war. Doing so, you can almost manage to distract yourself from your own future.

He's already posted spies. Spies in the castle. Gods knows how long they've been here.

"The dragon fell from the tower. It's shrieks echoed through the kingdom!" You read with enthusiasm, looking at the twins who look back with wide eyes.

It's not safe for them here. We had to sneak them away through the tunnels.

"Did the prince kill it?!" Seunghee asks, holding tight to your skirt. "He must have," Soojun is entranced by the story, "right?"

There was an attempt on my life. An attempt on the girls in the garden. Another on Kai and (Y/n). They are everywhere.

You launch forward and scream, spooking the girls back into Kais leg. He's holding back a laugh as he pats their heads. "The dragon soars up from the fog, the princes sword still lodged into its scaly side!"

They are threatening us with no words at all. Lord Hwang is coming for the Taedemere crown.

"Must you scare them with such stories?" Yeonjun sighs as he tugs the young girls back up to the seat, sandwiching himself between them and his brother.

You must forgive our absence. I have to keep the crown secure until we have a more solidified plan.

You simply ignore him, "the creature perches itself on the ledge, it's jaws reach for the prince. He backs into the wall and draws his dagger. 'Foul demon! I send you back to hell!' he yells as he dives at it. They tumb-"

It's time.

The carriage halts. You snap the book shut and lean back to get a look out of the foggy window. Yeonjun slides into the seat next to you and does the same. Kai strains his neck to look out of the window behind him.

Take care of our children. Our future.

The gates are iron, shining like they were scrubbed everyday. The castle beyond them seems to be endless.

-King Choi Seungcheol

As the gates open, you can feel your heart beat in your ears. Seunghee climbs on your lap and peeks out of the window, her eyes widen with every second she inspects the castle.

Yeonjun seems to notice your dismay as the carriage grows ever closer.

He can feel it to. The feeling that your future is being written in stone with every inch you grow closer.

"When I last saw him," he hesitates as he gets your attention. "Prince Seonghwa seemed to be the same. He hasn't changed, he's still your old friend."

You manage a nod with a small smile, and although he can tell it's forced; it helps comfort him. It doesn't comfort Kai, however. He never liked the idea of you marrying someone so far away. He still doesn't. You're attached at the hip.

Everyone knows Choi (Y/n) doesn't want to marry for security or position. You made it very clear. It's a miracle that you've been able to avoid it this long. You figured if you put up enough of a fuss, your oldest brother would simply give up. But you are equally stubborn. And now he's King.

A loud horn startles you, and you instinctively pull Seunghee closer. Your breathing hitches until you realize it's just the castle welcoming your entourage.

As you come to a complete stop, all of your demeanors change. Yeonjun wipes his caring expression away and straightens his back. Kai lets go of Soojuns hand and fixes his blouse. The twins try their best to hide their awe at the beautiful and vast architecture.

And all you can do is hide your growing anxieties with a polite smile.

The door squeaks as it opens. Yeonjun is the first one to exit. Soojun eagerly follows, and Seunghee is right behind her. The remaining siblings can hear the fuss from the bystanders outside.

The middle siblings sit silence for a moment before he speaks up. "You don't have to be afraid."

You look up and let the faux smile fade the second you see his sincerity.

"Don't I?"

"No."He shakes his head. He's sure. His sister has nothing to be afraid of. Because- "if that Prince hurts you; I'll be the one to personally whip some senses into him."

You can't help the small chuckle that leaves your lips, and motion for him to leave the carriage first. He does, leaving you alone for a single moment before someone peeks in.

"Your highness?" You smile at the man in uniform, standing slowly.

"So impatient," you roll your eyes playfully and take his hand as he helps you step down. "Thank you, Yeosang."

He bows slightly before leading you to your place in between your brothers and sisters. Your eyes are still adjusting to the bright light, but you can see the large doors open in front of you.

Yeonjun kneels, Kai follows his lead, you follow his, Seunghee following you; and Soojun stands upright just staring at the royal family until you notice and pull her down by the back of her neck without even lifting you head. You can all hear a small snort of laughter, and Yeonjun worries your family managed to already offend them until the King speaks.

"Please, rise."

The Choi family does so and Yeosang, the knight, steps forward. He bows deeply before turning to the siblings. "The Prince Choi Yeonjun. The Princess Choi (Y/n). The Princess Choi Seunghee. The Princess Choi Soojun. Huening Kai."

A man steps up from behind the other family, introducing them like Yeosang had just done for your family. "His Royal Majesty Park Kyujun. The Prince Park Seonghwa. The Princess Park Bongcha. The Princess Hayoon."

Your family bows, greeting him in unison, "Your Majesty." Yeonjun continues. "Thank you for your hospitality, sire. We are forever grateful."

Your eyes are fully adjusted when you rise from your bow. The king is older than you remember, but it has been a long time. Princess Bongcha has grown so much that you briefly wonder if you've found yourself time-traveled. There's an unfamiliar little girl beside her. The prince, your fiancé, has changed just as much as you have. You contemplate if he even remembers you. But those wonders are cleared when he addresses you directly.

"Princess (Y/n)," he has a bright smile and dark hair, that much has stayed the same. "Your highness," you smile back and lower your head.

Whispers echo through the crowd that's held back by the guards: and it's becoming hard for you ignore them. You wrap your arm around Soojun when she cowers closer.

"Please, come," King Kyujun motions for you all to follow him, and you gladly do.

It's been a long journey, but it's only just begun.

𖢌

King Kyujun leads the Choi family down the great hall and they can't help but marvel in its greatness. To the twins, it's a new world to be explored, coming up with their own stories that go along with the stain glass windows. To the older siblings, it brings back memories of childhood, a time when they didn't have such worries that plague their minds these days.

Yeonjun can remember his first kiss behind a delicately painted pillar during the dead of night. Kai can remember learning a dance with his mother in this hall, the feeling of belonging. (Y/n) can remember running away from the tutor with Seonghwa beside her.

As you look over to him, you notice it. "You still have that goofy smile," you've dropped the titles and politics. You're just a girl reunited with her child hood friend and fiancé. "I though you may have outgrown it."

"I'm starting to think I may not," he laughs a bit.

"I'd hope not. It's one of your few redeeming qualities," you joke, hiding your smirk as you look up at the new chandelier you pass under.

He feigns a gasp, a hand on his chest. "I'll have you know that I have many good qualities."

You hum, turning to him, "such as? Sparring with a squirrel?" He slaps a hand over his mouth to swallow his laughter. Your laughter rings free in the empty hall.

"That squirrel was a menace! It startled me!" He argues in a low voice. "It had no right jumping next to me like that," he says with an exaggerated frown.

"Unnie!" Soojun hollers, catching your attention quickly as you see that your little sisters have fallen behind. You make your way to them quickly, scolding them that they shouldn't yell in the presence of the King. "Look, Unnie," she points as she ignores your scolding.

Your heart speeds before it stops abruptly, face to face with the intricate stained glass window. The sun shines through it, casting colorful lights on you all. It's a beautiful collage of colors. Every tiny piece is fit together perfectly to tell a story.

You flinch when a hand is placed on your shoulder. The King apologizes, retracting his hand. "You probably don't remember this..." You shake your head and look back to the art. "I remember, sire."

He sighs deeply, and you can feel his energy apologizing even if he says nothing.

"Come on, there's food waiting." The twins cheer quietly, following the King to the room where everyone else has vanished to.

Seonghwa joins your side and looks at the window, basking in the colored light as he looks over the picture for what must be the millionth time. In his lifetime, he hasn't been able to find a single flaw.

He looks down at you. Your skin is painted in a range of blue and yellow, pinks and greens. There's a patchy scratch on the majority of your cheek that's slipped his notice until now. Your eyebrows have screwed themselves up and your lip quivers.

"Don't cry," he was essentially begging, "please, don't cry, (Y/n)."

You sniff in response, rubbing a stray tear away from your cheek. It's silent between you as you have a staring contest with the glass. "Fuck," you mumble as tears start to fall more often. "Ah, (Y/n)," he coos, moving to block your view of the heartbreaking image.

"I... It's just, I haven't seen them since they passed, Cheol put away their portrait... It breaks his heart to see them, but it breaks mine not to. I almost forgot what they looked like."

He doesn't say anything, simply opening his arms and letting you fill them. After so long, it feels the same. You're still shorter, but you've both grown. He's still strong, but now you caught up. You still turn your head to the left and place it on his chest. He still wraps one arm around your back and places the other on your shoulders. After all these years, you remember how secure he feels when your arms link around his waist. Even with the time that's passed, he can recall the fact you love when he rubs his thumb over your shoulder.

So much has happened to each of you and yet you both still have memorized each other's hugs. You used to be each others safe place. And though you're older and have met again in such pressing circumstances, it remains the same.

"Your highness," the familiar voice is just loud enough to startle you. "Yes, Yeosang?" You questions calmly, and it's a stark contrast to Seonghwas glare at the man. "Your brother asks for you, ma'am." You nod to dismiss him, and turn back to Seonghwa when he's gone.

"How do I look?"

"Look like you've been crying."

You tut your tongue and gently slap his shoulder with the back of your hand. He smiles as you do. "It'll be okay," he assures you as he fixes a stray from your neat hair, "it's dark in the dining hall."

He takes your hand and pulls you away from the image of your passed parents lazing in the garden.

𖢌

His footsteps are heavy. He's forcing his breathing to be slow. His heartbeat is going wild as he gets closer to the Kings quarters.

He steps in front of the guards and they knock on the double doors. "Prince Yeonjun, your majesty!" The Kings response is muffled by the walls, but clear enough for the guards to be confident in opening the doors.

Yeonjun steps in and looks over his shoulder as the doors close behind him, anything to keep his eyes away from King Kyujun. The doors slam shut and he finds a tapestry to inspect.

"Please, sit." He follows his voice and finds himself sitting across from the King on the large balcony, a round table littered in papers separates them.

"Thank you, your Majesty," he eagerly takes the wine he offers, hoping it would soothe his dry throat. He can't remember being so thirsty before the King called for him.

"How do you find your quarters?"

Yeonjuns lips are still occupied with the glass when the man speaks up, and he takes his time before speaking shortly. "Very nice, sire. Thank you."

"And your siblings?"

"I'm sure they're adjusting well, sire. We thank you, again, for your hospitality while we discuss our plans."

When he finally has the courage to look at the man, it calms his nerves. His crown is gone. His blouse is astray. His nose and cheeks carry a rosy hue from the frigid weather. He looks much more human.

"This is, of course, why I've asked you here."

"Of course."

Kyujun leans back into the wooden chair and lets out a sigh. "Once (Y/n) and Seonghwa are married, we will put our combined efforts against Lord Hwang. He's a vicious man," he tuts his tongue, annoyed at the mere mention of the Lord of Kherhai. "I've heard of the attacks on your family. I'm sorry for you loss and... rest assured, we will not let anything happen to you at this court."

"Thank you, sire."

"Your sister," he hesitates just a bit, "I've looked into quite a few people to help her plan the wedding. They'll meet with her tomorrow. I know she doesn't agree with the circumstances, but that doesn't mean it must be unpleasant."

"I'm sure she will appreciate it, sire. She's been hesitant to do any planning on her own."

Kyujun nods in response. He already knows this. He's kept close tabs on his only sons fiancée.

"Sire, may I ask when the wedding is supposed to be taking place?"

"This week, if all goes well. Lord Hwang is no doubt sending men this way as we speak to get rid of the rest of the Choi family lineage." Kyujun doesn't seem to notice Yeonjuns pained expression, and if he does: he doesn't say anything about it.

He, instead, hands the young man a map of Kherhai: diving head first into strategy.

𖢌

#ateez #ateez au #ateez angst #ateez fluff #park seonghwa #seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #txt #tomorrow x together #seonghwa au

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chromotps · 3 months

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uhhh thoughts on alabasta ratman sleep-deprived and weed fueled ace vs peak chad energy fuckboy prime wano ace?? like which one do you prefer, do you have any thoughts if he’d treat/think of luffy any different? in these two periods of his life?

(also ugh I adore both and there’s something special about alabasta ace who went after luffy to drum island, made sure everyone knew he would be waiting for luffy in alabasta, then went and sat there for 10 days with no other purpose but to wait for luffy. bc he just wanted to see him so so much. brocon alabasta ace is uhhhgggghh insane vibes but. there’s also something about wano graciously giving everyone big tits and a healthy layer of fat tissue on top of all that muscle. also the fact that portgas d “i hate when little children follow me around” ace willingly befriended and took care of tama. also promised her the same thing he promised luffy. idkidkidk I just like to think luffy was on ace’s mind 90% of the time, wherever he went, and he often just thought about him bc a lot of thinks reminded him of luffy. like things luffy would like, things he’d like to eat, things he’d find funny etc)

I thought this would be easy to answer but then I had like a whole essay typed up in my head. so. thank you for this ask, I have a lot of feelings about it apparently. 😂😂

they really do feel like 2 different characters, maybe bc Oda was still firming up the details of marineford/wano when Ace first appeared in alabasta? In any case it's always fun seeing which "version" of him fans lean into in fanart/fic/headcanons hahaha. like do they make him more scrungly and sleazy (but maybe also secretly doting)? you got yourself a greasy Ace fan. do they make him all upstanding and softly affectionate and soulful? wano ace wano ace wano ace

(a lot more rambling from here)

I have to admit...... and I'm ashamed to say it............... but I was only half-aware of Ace in Alabasta—like at that point, he was just another "wacky cool shounen guy" to me. It took Marineford breaking my brain down to its component parts and rearranging them for my full Ace brainrot to set in, and at that point he was closer to Ethereal Fridged Wife wano Ace, so I'd probably go with that one? God I do need to rewatch Alabasta tho, I feel like it'd be such a trip of fawning over greasy ratman Ace this time around ahahahah

I think it took until Marineford for me to really latch onto Ace bc it was outwardly like: Alabasta Ace: I'm cool Marineford Ace: I'm cool [ironic][hiding INTENSE self-worth issues]

I agree with everything you said though... I love wrinkly, wrung-out-to-dry Alabasta Ace and his devil-may-care coolness. His vibes of being just a bit more of a rebel than any of the Strawhats even, the thing that makes people cast him as a guitarist or artist in modern AUs. that fuckin,,,,, crouch/perching thing he does,,,, The WAITING... he's so understated with his devotion, like, this panel??

he's trying to be so cool and older brother-y but really he just wants his little brother to visit him sometimes!!! he waited for luffy for 10 days when he's been prioritizing this mission over everything else, even being with his other found-family crew, and I just!!! sigh

"any thoughts if he’d treat/think of luffy any different" I so agree that Wano Ace is pre-Whitebeard Ace, meaning that even though he's presenting himself as independent and a leader/captain, there's a part of him that's still very angry and searching for acceptance. And yesss, bc of that he was probably holding his memories of Luffy so close all the time, seeing his brother who loves him in the innocent, trusting kid he helps, and unable to stop bragging about his brave little brother to the brash, impressive club-weilding guy he runs into.

meanwhile I feel like Alabasta Ace is actually more mellowed-out in his feelings toward Luffy, in a way? like idk, maybe—I might be completely off—but he's more secure in himself and his attachment to Luffy... or at least he tells himself he is. I just feel like that explains why he's shown to be so openly brag-y about Luffy in his Wano days, but seems way more laidback in Alabasta, haha (but the brocon devotion is still there, just better-hidden, lmaoooo) (and it gets ripped to the forefront during Marineford—he's forced to confront all that fear and attachment when he sees Luffy hurtling through the air toward him AH)

god tho. wano ace. wano ace and this gif

the things. the things i want to do to this man. the morals i would abandon. unspeakable.

and this???? him??????????????? sunkissed angel backlit like the once-in-a-lifetime love interest in a twee indie film???

yeah I... in summary, I feel like I have 60/40 preference for Wano Ace over Alabasta Ace, but really it's that mix of all those qualities that I like to bring in when i can.

(my secret third answer is Marineford Ace. the blorbo who started it all, lmao)

#gosh.... what you wrote about wano ace...#him seeing luffy in everything at least a little bit #i'm stopping here #thank you for coming to my ted talk #meta #headcanons #acelu #?#edit to add more in the tags bc like #i also feel like alabasta ace does this thing #where he rushes his goodbye to luffy #he knows (or thinks?) luffy is less attached than he is #and since he doesn't want to 'hold luffy back' or weigh him down #he tries to say goodbye first #and then you get luffy canonly being like 'wait!!! can't you stay longer?? :((('#i just #what if ace worried that if he stayed any longer he wouldn't be able to make himself leave #after seeing luffy in the flesh and both remembering how cute he is and seeing what an impressive person he's grown/growing into #idk i mean that take is probably a little overdramatic #buuuuuut it's also probably not totally off base right??

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apollo-the-frog · 9 months

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im just gonna make a list of my favorite rwrb quotes

(sorry for any mistakes)

"you decided to put your dick into the heir to the british throne" zahra says, as she is actively pegging the equerry to the heir to the british throne

"HRH PRICE DICKHEAD💩"

to alex from henry

("is alex claremont diaz going to be a father?" news)

to alex

"but we were ever so careful dear"

The turkey /cornbread knows my sins,

Henry

-alex

(I totaly... Privately called that)

-nora abt henry kissing alex

(I have no idea what a maypole is... Are they known for their homosexual tendencies?)-alex

"Who says make love anymore? Are we gonna like... Listen to Lana del Rey while we do it?) -alex

"everytime I see you it takes another year off of my life" -zahra after she sees henry in alexs closet

[ALEX READING ONE LAST STOP]

"it's like there's a rope attached to my chest and its pulling me towards you"

-alex on the dock with henry

"if you want me to leave you'll have to tell me to leave"-alex at the palace after henry ghosted him

(WHEN THEY WRITE THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE I WANT IT TO INCLUDE YOU. And my LOVE FOR YOU!!)

-alex (i think) at the museum at night

"HISTORY, HUH?

BET WE COULD MAKE SOME"

-alex at the museum at night

(and I'm not gonna get any work done until you let these lovesick homosexuals on the phone with one another) -zahra on the phone to shaan after email leaks (the lovesick homosexuals are alex and henry)

"the phrase 'see attached bibliography' is the single sexiest thing youve ever writen to me"-henry (i think) in emails

"Sugar, I cannot express to you how much the press does not give a fuck about who started what," Ellen says. "As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn't your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term."-ellen claremont, after the cake incident

“You and me and history, remember? We’re just gonna fucking fight. Because you’re it, okay? I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. So, I promise you, one day we’ll be able to just be, and fuck everyone else.”-alex, after email leaks

HRH Prince Dickhead @

You are the thistle in the tender

and sensitive arse crack of my life.

Text from Alex:

yo there’s a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe?

Text from Henry HRH Prince Dickhead:

I BEG YOU TO NOT

A: "You are gonna go be, like, five hundred feet away from me for the rest of the night, or else I am going to do something that I will deeply regret in front of a lot of very important people."

-after alex and henry make out in the red room

"O, fathers of my bloodline! O, ye kings of olde! Take this crown from me, bury me in my ancestral soil. If only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when American boys with chin

dimples are mean to him."-henry in emails writing a story abt them to alex

"Christ, you're as thick as it gets," he says, and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.

“I don’t give a damn what Joanne has to say, Remus John Lupin is gay as the day is long, and I won’t hear a word against it.”-(henry i think) in texts

"The next slide is titled: EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?"

-ellen claremont, the powerpoint presentation

"Sometimes you just jump and hope it's not a cliff."(idk who said that but i think henry)

"Wait. Zahra. Oh my God. I just realized. You're... my friend." "No, I'm not." "Zahra, you're my mean friend." "Am not."-alex (idk when)

"I've been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Phillip."-henry, with the queen

"Diaz, you insane, hopeless romantic little shit, says the voice of the President of the United States, muffled in the bed. "It had better be forever. Be safe"-ellen claremont, on voicemail

oh shit i forgot the agenst the walls one sorry 😢

if you know the page # or character/time mistakes put in tags :)

#red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #rwrb spoilers #firstprince #fsotus #rwrb quotes #red white and royal blue quotes #ellen claremont for president 2024 #history huh #bet we could make some #taylor zakhar perez #and #nicholas galitzine #have #so #much #chemistry

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sophieinwonderland · 1 year

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Let's see what new in Syscourse today!

This always seems like such a bizarre take to me because endogenic plurality, that is people who experience multiple self-conscious agents, existed before DID and OSDD were ever documented mental disorders.

Every culture that has complex two-way conversations with gods, has spirit guides and guardian angels, or channeled ghosts are experiencing forms of endogenic plurality. The idea of endogenic plurality as a psychological phenomenon is relatively recent, but it's always been acknowledged as a real phenomenon.

Describing tulpas as fetishization of alters is ridiculous.

The early tulpa community wanted literally nothing to do with DID and wasn't involved in the larger plural community. I've talked before about how this is the reason the tulpa community has such different terms from other plural communities. One of the most notable examples being our use of the word "Wonderland" instead of "inner world" or "headspace" as other systems tend to use.

The first tulpamancers weren't trying to make alters. They learned to make tulpas first and learned how to switch later.

I've noticed that there's this incredible arrogance in some of the anti-endo community where they can't seem to even perceive of the possibility that not everything is about them.

So let me just make this clear. The world does not revolve around you.

The first tulpamancers weren't interested in trying to make alters. They weren't fetishizing DID or OSDD. They didn't care. Your community was completely irrelevant to them.

I don't think delusional attachments are supposed to be characters that you communicated with in hallucinations.

I admit, I'm not an expert in this topic... but if you have characters that you are hallucinating while other times are experiencing identity alterations where you feel like you are those same characters... I don't see how that "delusional attachment" is different from a headmate.

Here's a quote from a Carrd I saw...

A delusional attachment (DA) is a term that psychotics have coined as an alternative to the term 'Identity Delusion', in which someone believes that they are another 'being' than they actually are, whether that be a real person, a fictional character, a nonhuman creature, an object, etc. The term and experience of having a DA is exclusive to those who experience Psychosis!

Which, by the way, leaves a bad taste in my mouth on its own.

If they merely claimed ownership of the misleading term they made up, that would be one thing. But it's extremely problematic how they claim that the very experience of perceiving yourself as another being is a delusional attachment and is exclusive to those with psychotic disorders.

Remember, this term didn't arise until 2020 while Otherkin have existed since 1990s and were a fairly large community. You can't just retroactively pathologize the experiences of others and decide anyone without a disorder can't have this type of experience.

This also goes with hallucinations. There are plenty of hallucinatory experiences that aren't deemed to be pathological. There was even the Hearing Voices movement in the 80s dedicated to fighting against the pathologization of voice hearing in Europe, arguing that trying to remove voices that didn't cause problems was akin to conversion therapy.

Just because your own hallucinatory experiences are harmful doesn't mean they are for everyone.

Once again, the world doesn't revolve around you.

And you do not have the right to decide what healthy for others. You do not have the right to project your own problems onto others.

You do not own the concept of being plural. You do not own the concept of hallucinations, or believing yourself to be other people. None of these experiences belong to you and you alone, and you do not have a right to gatekeep them.

#syscourse #system #systems #delusional attachment #multiplicity #plural #plurality #tulpa #tulpas #endogenic #mental health #psychology #psychiatry #hearing voices #voice hearing #delusions #psychosis #system stuff #actually a system

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demi-shoggoth · 1 year

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An Introduction

Hi. My name is Fern.

I have been on this website for literally 10 years, and it's been a lifeline for me, for all of its faults and all of its flaws. And it feels like it's becoming as much fun again as it was in its heyday, and I feel comfortable enough putting myself out there to say that.

I am a nonbinary trans woman, emphasis on the woman. I have described my gender as "85% Woman, 15% Other". I haven't worked out all of the details, but the biggest part of the "Other" is Mischief. I am a lot of things; a science teacher, an author, a nerd, a gamer, a silly girl and a kinky cosmonaut. And all of those things are good, actually.

I am fat. I have always been fat and I will probably never be skinny. And I used to hate that. I used to hate my body and thought that was because it was fat, not because it didn't look like a woman. And I have realized that. I am Fat, and that is actually so sexy and fun of me. And my body is only getting better day by day.

I am also a witch. This is the newest revelation. Like, within the last week new. I was a very logical kid, Mr. Spock and Data were my favorite Star Trek characters, but I didn't understand that Mr. Spock and Data both had emotions and processed them in the ways that were right for them, even if other people didn't get it. I was in denial about magic for a long time. And I don't believe in any literal gods, but I do believe that the vibes that you put out into the world reflect back like ripples in a pond. And that if you put good things into the world, good things will happen. I tried being hyper rationalist and atheist and I realized it wasn't for me. Sorry, Pepper.

I am in Love. This has been a period of development, and that's fine. Because the story of love is a very long one. I am in Love, and I am in Love with two people, and I realize that that's okay now. Polyamory feels like the right fit for me, and trying to be monogamous and attach my entire life to one person wasn't healthy. It wasn't healthy for them and it wasn't healthy for me.

I have had a rough life. In addition to being closeted for the longest time and trans, I had two abusive relationships in my life. One with a professor, one with a girlfriend. And that girlfriend helped me with my trauma with the professor (I am so glad that I didn't leave the US behind and move to Australia, thank goddess). So I felt like I owed her, and I stayed much longer than I should have even as that relationship became more and more rankled and toxic. But breaking up with her was one of the bravest things I've done in my life, and I believe that all of you are capable of that kind of bravery if you try. And on some level, I hope that she's realized that she was being a bad person, and that she's gotten better. But on every level, I never want to find out in person.

I know this was a lot. This is also kind of my way of announcing that I've changed my name on here? I'm now demi-shoggoth, which is a combination of two handles I've been using since I was in middle school. Demiurge and Dr. Shoggoth. Well, I didn't get that doctorate, but I do still create worlds, and I am still a shapeshifter who can take on what forms they need for a job and are scary when they need to be. And I will find my Y'ha-nthlei. Build it myself if I have to. And live in it in Wonder and Glory forever with the people who are my planets and moons, my myriad Tiny Worlds.

If you want to avoid posts like this in the future, block the tag "personal posts". If you like what I'm putting down, I will keep doing so as long as I can.

Mercury Out.

#personal post #long post #about the author #i feel whole again

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teddie-laundrybear · 6 months

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EoM update Pt. 1

My blocks of little reactions for other campaigns is put on hold for this one. I have so much I want to say about Edge of Midnight but its diffrent. I want to sit and just talk through the campaign and all my thoughts, not little silly posts but something in depth. This campaign is much more serious than the others I'd watched. Of course its got funny moments, some that have made me genuinely howl with laughter. But the thing is its just got me so invested and enthralled, a 10/10 campaign. The horror in it is amazing and Nikkie is so descriptive, I've nearly thrown up multiple times, but like its just really really *good* The friendships in this campaign are my favorite of any so far, the way Marius protects everyone and they all just kinda have a deep concern and care for each other. They all just decided when they met that they were all- well- in a sense, family. Everyone of their personalities I adore, they all just care about each other, even Briggsy LOL The characters themselves, even outside of that found family vibe, are all amazing. I could go on for a while about each of them. And I will. LETS START WITH THE PRETTY BOY. Marius. Marius is amazing, I'm usually not too keen on the "good boy paladin" i think the trope is usually boring. But god did Andy do it right. Marius is protective, brave, affectionate, and very set on his morals. He knows he's made mistakes and is SET on making it right and making sure his friends/family are safe and healthy. And more than that, strangers too. But he's not naive, he's anything but, especially because of his Vampire-esc nature. WHICH BY THE WAY IS MY FAVORITE PART OF HIS CHARACTER. The way Andy describes Marius's vampiric nature is so badass. And you can just FEEL the way Marius feels about it too. I love it. PRETTY LADY TIME Lethica. I love Lethica, she's cunning and beautiful and rather sly. You would think she'd be stoic, and while she *is*, she's also funny, sarcastic, passive aggressive, but also caring. She too cares deeply about those around her even if she doesn't show it as openly as Marius, but you can tell. I also love her goofy bag of holding, i know its evil but why make it so likeable??? ALSO (mild spoilers for episode 8) When Yorgrim gets his ass beat by Billy, her reaction was to rush over to him and gently place her hand on his arm. "Yorgrim.." She casted healing word with his name being the healing word. I don't know why but i LOVE that. Usually with these guys healing word is some goofy shit but she just softly says their name and I don't know I just LOVE THAT. Especially with her accent god i'm gay i love her she's hot anyways FREN SHAPED SCARECROW!! (and weird crow) Jericho. I love my lil tall baby boy scarecrow crow demon baby, and Virgil is here too ig. Jericho was the first character we met and good for it because I was attached to him imminently. He's so sweet and he just wants friends, and good thing Marius is there because they're laterally the best-est best friends I love their goofy dynamic. Jerichos songs are so silly and creative and I love them. His whole weird bird thing is also SUPER interesting, seeing Virgil take over was a huge change of pace and I wish it got touched on more. Give him hugs, he deserves them. PLEASE hug him. Virgil is goofy, tell him to stop being mean MORE TO COME I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE OTHER THREE

#legends of avantris #lethica nightborne #Briggsy #marius renathyr #yorgrim #edge of midnight #EoM #Jericho Sticks #farryn of the hartsblight

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oumaheroes · 2 years

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‘Proof of Life’

Day 6 of Whumptober.

Ransom video/ ‘I’ve got a pulse’/ Screams from across the hall

My own Whumptober rules can be found here, if you’re unsure what’s going on

Characters: England, Australia

Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5

---

It is a shame, the Doctor thinks, that death can come for one so young.

Especially one like this, so healthy and robust. With choppy brown hair and ruddy tanned skin peppered with freckles the child is endearing. There is something familiar and warming about him that speaks of constant energy and laughter and the Doctor grieves more than he usually does about the death of this small child. He has seen many deaths in his career, many of them young like this or younger still, but there is something particularly touching about this one. It’s as though he knows him, has seen him many times before, although the Doctor is certain that he has not, and as he crouches next to the broken body still laying in the road he smooths back the child’s hair with genuine regret and mutters a quick prayer for his soul.

The father is nearby, inconsolable.

It is understandable. Any parent with half a heart would be distraught by the death of their son before their eyes and the man’s distress is nothing new. Especially a death like this: a wayward horse, a crash, and an overturned carriage slammed into pedestrians.

It’s a tragedy.

What is strange is the father’s illogical behaviour. Despite a knock to the head and a broken arm he had to be restrained by the crowds, desperate to get to the small, still body flung out into the road and nothing short of a mild tranquilizer, hastily administered for his own good, had calmed him. He had tried to carry the body away before the child could even be seen to by a medic and this just wouldn’t do. Even if the child had lived, this behaviour wouldn’t have helped matters.

Poor fellow. No one here blames him.

The man looks young and his boy...not so young. His marriage, if there was one, must have been very early in his lifetime indeed. He cannot be older than his late twenties, his child no younger that seven, but the Doctor tries not to judge. Life had its ways of twisting and turning away from the path you’d planned and he’d seen enough abrupt endings to know not to question the lucky paths that continued.

With a grunt, the Doctor stands and wipes his brow. The day is hot; they’ll need to get moving.

His assistant by their carriage lifts his head when he looks his way. The Doctor shakes his head. His assistant nods and begins to approach, a long white stretcher tucked under his arm.

The father, still surrounded by the burly baker and a few other men, groans when he sees this and makes another attempt to stand. He is held down and the Doctor watches him in concern.

‘Call him a carriage once we’ve got the lad inside,’ the Doctor tells his assistant, ‘Get it to follow us to the hospital and we can check him over there; he won’t let me close.’

‘Alright,’ the assistant looks down at the boy and clucks his tongue sadly, ‘Poor bugger.’

‘It was quick. A broken neck.’

‘That’s a mercy.’

‘Hmm.’

‘Come on little guy,’ his assistant crouches by the boy’s shoulder, ‘Let’s get you out of the sun.’

His assistant does he same as he had, reaches out to brush back the boy’s hair as if compelled to. The need to touch him, to hold him close and make him better, is so bizarrely strong. Maybe it is time for a holiday, it will not help him to grow so attached.

The Doctor steps around to grab the boy’s ankles and sees his assistant stiffen.

‘I’ve got a pulse,’ he says quietly. Then again, louder, ‘I’ve got a pulse!’

There is renewed scuffling on the pavement, the father making another attempt to get to them, ‘Let me go!’ he shouts, ‘Get the fuck off me!’

‘That cannot be,’ the Doctor looks down and sees still the flush in the child’s cheeks, ‘That- that’s not possibl-‘

‘Sir! He’s alive!’

‘By God,’ the Doctor says, for this must be the work of God. What else could this be; he was so sure.

The child doesn’t move, stays entirely still, but pushing his assistant aside to feel for himself the Doctor can feel the thrum of impossible life under his fingers.

Day 7

Full Masterlist

#aph england #aph australia #hws england #hws australia #aph #hws #hetalia #whumptober #whumptalia #heroes writes

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padfootastic · 1 year

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My unpopular opinion is that if Peter weren’t fat and ugly then Sirius/Peter would be an extremely popular and mainstream ship, while Wolfstar would be a rarepair and Prongsfoot would stay as it is now - because i see prongsfoot as a ship for people who love to see Sirius in a healthy and balanced relationship. Wolfstar and Sirius/Peter are/would be for people who love the drama and the emotional turmoil.

dude. DUDE. i fully agree with this. i think a large part of how peter is treated/used/characterised stems from his physicality. it's almost like a woke parallel to jkr's beauty morality politics.

i literally cannot even tell u how often i've been annoyed by the way peter gets treated by the marauder fandom, specifically. because yeah, i get not everyone's gonna like a snivelling rat but--the corner of the fandom that operates purely on fanon and has changed everyone's character? yeah, zero excuses there.

not just the fact that peter often gets zero romantic/sexual attachments (and lets not even talk ab the 'ace/aro hcs bc hes fundamentally unloveable/so ugly no one wants him') even in spaces where's he's redeemed, but even if he's still a bad guy, so what? this is the fandom that's casually redeemed regulus black, barty crouch, all the other assortment of DEs. i dont get why peter's always the one who gets left behind. (i mean,,,,i kinda do,,,but yeah, idk what their rationale is)

and then theres also the peter art oh my god. it just. there's nothing technically wrong with any of it, but the way peter--a canonically fat guy--is drawn (often very infantilised and non-sexually, even wehn everyone around him is thirst trapped up) vs say, lily--who's the hot new 'plus size' rep--who always gets to be slim-thicc, very fkn sexy, and just overall fun. it's just. it icks me out, ykno?

and then the relationships, of fucking course the ship would be more popular, dude. like, its classic enemies to lovers, classic passion and intensity that can fall on either side of the coin. u can play around a lot with it. and honestly, peter & sirius had way more interactions/moments/chemistry than remus/sirius, like that's my unpopular moment right there lmao

overall, yeah, i get what u mean and i second it. fat characters are not written the best bc its often just a facsimile of how irl fat people are treated and we all know how that goes.

#peter pettigrew #i use the word woke ironically #bc i absolutely hate it otherwise #sorry didnt meant for this to be a rant but its just. something that bothers me #there's some people here who hate all of them equally and dont have these double standards #this post is not for them #u do u #and the term plus size eugh #personally i am Not A Fan. but thats just me.#fat should be a neutral word #neither good nor bad #plus size just seems. conciliatory #and unnecessary to me #anyway. back to the actual ask #i dont ship any of them #bc i really dont care for peter #just as i dont care for most characters #but idk im just.#i have v jumbled up thoughts about this #bc on one hand im very 'i dont want irl politics in my fiction if i can help it'#but then i get v annoyed by stuff like thsi #idek how to articulate it properly #its not like im calling people who do this fatphobic or bigoted or whatever. i dont think that at all #it just makes me slightly uncomfortable thats all #pen’s asks

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veliseraptor · 2 years

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Top 5 fictional siblings!

oh boy oh man. I feel like I've probably answered this one previously but I don't feel like going digging for it right now so you get to read me talking about at least some of the same relationships again

1. Yunmeng Siblings. God! What a mess! Truly a deeply codependent trio with intertwining and sometimes clashing issues and communication problems! I love them. Like...god, no joke, I'm pretty sure it was the Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian relationship specifically that actively hooked me emotionally and that kinda continued to be true (and is definitely true now as one of my major points of emotional connection), but then Jiang Yanli in there and the dynamic with her added? The role she plays in mediating, her self-effacing-ness, the way she is, I think, trying to make herself small in part to offset the drama swirling around the other two and also just generally to avoid conflict? The "older sister taking on vaguely parental role" vibes? I just...love them. And all their fucked up mess.

2. Shi Wudu & Shi QIngxuan. I feel like I was less attached to this as a dynamic on my first read and got more into it on reread because again - say it with me - it's a mess. Shi Wudu's overprotective, somewhat controlling relationship to Shi Qingxuan born clearly out early fear and anxiety about her doomed status but now manifesting in disapproval and judgment, and the tension between Shi Qingxuan's freewheeling, carefree nature and her desire to please her brother...and maybe most of all the way that the fact that they love each other too much ultimately condemns both of them. Shi Wudu refuses to make a decision that will hurt Shi Qingxuan. Shi Qingxuan again and again refuses to turn away from her brother even after she knows what he's done. I'm suffering about it.

3. Felix & Mildmay. Remember when I was 13 and read Melusine and possibly was a little young for it but latched onto it so hard and got really, really invested in the relationship between Felix and Mildmay in all its fucked up codependent messy glory? Yeah, that was a thing and it hasn't changed. Beautiful disasters. and like...I feel like in some ways Mildmay's love and devotion to Felix goes without saying (it's not always good for him!) but I was just looking back through my blog and found the part where Felix answers someone judging his relationship with Mildmay at the end of the first book by saying that he is "down in the gutter. With him." and boy!!! for a character who so ruthlessly distances himself from his gutter history in every possible way...that's a lot.

4. Richard & Lymond. Feel like this whole post could be titled "what a mess! they love each other very much but what a mess! and that's definitely also true here. Like from The Game of Kings classic "I will bring him to you on his knees, weeping, and begging to be killed" through...everything in Checkmate tbh...augh. It's almost always Lymond making things harder, also, but Richard just...can never quite walk away from him.

5. As usual I waffled on my fifth but I ended up going with the Sons of Feanor as a whole. A little bit of a different dysfunction because I think their dysfunction is less with each other (though increasingly the 'us against the world' thing probably...isn't super healthy) but more with. the extended family and also the world. But boy do I love a borderline pathologically loyal group of siblings dedicated to a hopeless cause that they kinda know is hopeless but it's happening anyway! and they all die miserably except one who lives miserably! That is, as the kids say, the good shit.

Honorable mention does have to go to Thor and Loki, who do own the tag "tragic siblings" on this blog.

#conversating #chilled ice cubes #top five meme #extremely belatedly

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tropicalscream · 1 year

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finished the anime and been reading to catch-up but god some early chainsaw man thoughts

Denii Chainsaw Man is such a good main character and i didnt think id relate to him as much as i do

like, ive literally lived in a very similar if not exact level of poverty he did. I had to do questionable things to be able to get fed. I couldn't afford anything

hell like literally pb+jam on toast was a fucking luxury i couldn't afford snd nevrr thought i could. like that line really choked me up and even then his luxury is everyone's normal is how i currently feel about my shit

plus the whole attach urself to ppl who show u even a modicum of affection even if its not coming from a good or healthy place

ppl think your stupid but your not and hes not he just wasnt taught like others

like fuck

also kobeni and her family situation echoed mine alot. i was the un favorite of the siblings. the one had to get a job early to afford shit meanwhile my brothers got to go to college snd and have vacations and actually got to be young adults meanwhile im having constant panic attacks from a high stress job thats soaked in death but i can't quit bc i need the money amd have no other viable options....

saddled with immense debt that follows me around like a shadow

This is very much scratching the Dorohedoro itch of psycho horror crazy violence comedy action shit with a focus on food and interesting compex plot and fun well written characters

this is so good and I'm very thankful for everyone that recommended it

also love all the movie references, love the animations endings and soundtrack alot, the Japanese vas knocked it outta the park.the use of rotoscoping is super cool

i love the breaking of conventional tropes snd deconstruction of others I also love that at its heart its still a horror and it reminds you of that

#chainsaw man #denji #kobeni

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stellatenuem · 1 year

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mmm love writing ren post-royal and his character regression and people hitting me with the 'thats ooc for joker though' and im like listen. listen? reverse character development is fun and sexy actually. let them become Worse

and within my ren's canon, a character regression works because ren was raised in an enmeshed family. and toxic familial abuse cycles are magnified by proximity. especially wherein the abuser is unable to see the victim as anything other than an extension of themselves.

an enmeshed victim doesnt act like themselves when under the abusers influence. ren the person takes a backseat to a series of behaviors (healthy or otherwise) he developed while trying to cope with and survive the trauma he went through while living with his parents for 16 whole years. that doesn't just... become resolved even though he was able to grow in tokyo.

if anything, something like that can make it even harder to be put back in that kind of environment. i speak from experience. its such a devastating thing. you live in the dysfunction for so long you dont realize its impact until youve been away from it. you were okay. you felt better and you didnt even realize it until things go back to the way they were before. that moment of mindfulness, of being horribly aware of the before and the after can be so depressing.

environment is everything.

during his year on probation ren started developing emotional equity and forming the closest thing they've had to secure attachments up to that point. ren arrived in tokyo traumatized. he was planning on keeping his head down and staying quiet. he didnt want to make any friends. he didn’t think he could. what would be the point in trying? others would make up their minds about him as soon as they’d find out he was a criminal. they would abandon him, too.

ren didn't trust anyone around him. they decided they would create a personality as cold and distant as they needed to in order to protect themselves. then the universe dropped one Ryuji Sakamoto in front of him and those plans began to fall apart. ryuji, ann, and morgana literally opened ren up to wanting to TRUST people again. that maybe he isn't as damned as he was made to believe.

he grew as a person and found where he belonged. but he isn't free yet. ren's parents do everything they can to erase that person. they still command enough control over ren through their traumabond that re-inspires rens learned fear of them. so ren's trauma brain allows them to slowly pick away at the confidence and sense of self he'd come to find. even if its a betrayal of himself. even if at times he's able to summon the courage of joker put up a fight, its rare for him to see any wins.

ren's parents rule by emotional abuse. fear. and isolation. they go from shaming him heavily for a year with the silent treatment, to scrutinizing and watching his every move. trying to have control over every aspect of him again. where he goes. who he talks to. what he spends money on. how he spends his time. ren begins regressing more and more. and its not only their toxicity that lend to this. even if his parents were healthy and loving, ren still would have struggled deeply because of everything he'd been through over the year he was away.

aside from the horrific trauma he endured at the hands of the police, being toyed with by a malevolent god who erased his friends from existence in front of his eyes, and being betrayed by an adult he trusted in maruki, ren lost goro twice, and in the wake of that loss, was separated from his irl support system.

death and the grief that comes from it transform the life of the person experiencing it. it changes how you interact with your routines, hobbies, relationships, and even yourself. the person that emerges from a grief situation is not the same one who experienced the tragedy it in real time. and rens grief at times is powerful enough to swallow him whole. to impact his functioning as he tries to go about his life.

and every time he falls below his parents standards, tries to establish autonomy, they just punish him more. isolate him more by taking away his phone, his laptop, his only lifelines to his friends. he's going to get worse. hes not going to act like his authentic self. hes going to fall into his worst mindsets and make unhealthy decisions. even someone like ren, who knows full well his parents treat him like shit, at his core, still wishes for their love and approval. its one of the hardest things to reconcile with, even as a adult, that your parents will never be the people you need them to be.

in a way, he's got to grieve over that, too, now that he knows now what unconditional love looks like. (because of his found family and friends) like, this kid was ghosted by their parents for a whole year. after his life as he knew it was completely shattered and he was shipped off to the city to live with a total stranger. ren had been effectively abandoned by them to fend for himself. i cannot begin to comprehend how fucking emotionally damaging that is.

imagine that happening to you and then at the end of your year away, after you've been through so much more hell (most of which you cant tell any normal person about) youre just supposed to??? go back to living in their house with them??? after they did that to you? like. thats fucking sick. and then go back to gaslighting you and acting like they didn't hurt you. and theyre the victims, actually.

#sometimes things really do get worse before they get better #ooc.#cw abuse #discussions of abuse #headcanons.

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