#its not like he could say 'hey dont hold on to ur anger for me bc im sorry :( suffering leads to hate leads to fart w/e

[jedie]

i find it so funny that whenever vader has any interaction with luke it’s always met with joy, affection, and love. but whenever vader interacts with leia it is always kill kill bite bite dont feed after midnight.

Vader used the force to telepathically call out to his son from the executor, 
“Luke” Father, Luke called back. “Son” Vader and felt a thrill as he realized Luke had accepted the truth.

...

For a moment, Vader allowed himself to imagine a future with his son. He imagined Luke as his apprentice - I would teach him everything - and as his partner - he would keep me strong! There would be no rivalry or secrets between them. With their bond of blood and shared power, they would be the greatest of Sith Lords.

...

Soon, Vader was breathing hard through his respirator. I can't let Luke defeat me, Vader thought. I won't let the Emperor have him!

...

Vader had no doubt that Luke was about to die. His son screamed. Not just my son . . . The Emperor unleashed another round of lightning. . . . or Padme's son . . . Luke screamed louder. . . . but my son . . . who loves me.

vs.

there was an electric hum from behind Vader, then a spherical black interrogator droid hovered slowly into the cell...Leia's eyes went wide at the sight of the droid. Vader could practically taste her terror. She said, "Keep it away from me!”

...

Growing impatient, Vader used his own psychic powers to make Leia believe she was in excruciating pain, but after several minutes, he ended the interrogation. He sensed that her inborn willpower was not only formidable but must have been augmented with certain physical and mental disciplines. She would not be broken easily.

...

Tarkin scowled at Vader. "Terminate her ... immediately!" Vader moved across the conference room to a communications console. With his helmet facing the comlink, he said, "Detention Area Security. Schedule the prisoner in cell 3187 for execution in one standard hour.“

...

Turning his attention to the Princess, Vader said, "I expect no such difficulty in restraining myself (in killing her) where you are concerned, Leia Organa. In several ways, you are responsible for my setbacks much more than this simple boy."

#「 REFLECT. 」 i have felt it. #「 LUKE. 」 the sun. #「 LEIA. 」 the moon. #he would die 4 luke and die b4 breathing in leia's direction #shame we never got a chance to see vader develop a relationship with leia outside anakin saying 'my b' in legends #luke was so important in his return to anakin (i have that written already on carrd but ill say it 500 more times bc its about FAMILY) #i find it odd vader never had any connection to leia despite her force powered super will and stubbornness #which he attributed to augmentation and training lmao like what senator would undergo torture training #and go so far as to alter their mental and physical state in such an unlikely event #especially when they were never even a high level target? #vader really thought leia (knowing next to nothing about her except that she came from aristocracy of all origins) #would be that hardcore at 19 years of age like she was training with the space see ai ay #though i will say his relationship with her wouldve been really important to see #bloodline did a good job in comparing them in their anger and drive for justice #anyway i dont think anakin expected forgiveness nor would he believe it would come or even come easy #but it mattered that he'd offer his regret and apology he had to put it out there and try #its not like he could say 'hey dont hold on to ur anger for me bc im sorry :( suffering leads to hate leads to fart w/e #he had no business telling her she should forgive or understand him but he did need to ask for it knowing it wouldnt come #he better than anyone would understand her feeling towards him 100% #its a guilt that couldnt let go bc he did all that to his daughter #anakin is at peace in and with the force but certainly not with all his actions as vader #his fulfilling the prophecy was what saved him bc thats why he was born lol #so the 'not being able to let go doesnt preserve your spirit in the force' does not apply #going off legends if just for this: when anakin came to leia it was out of making amends but motivated by guilt #guilt for what he did and guilt that if he didnt he wouldnt do right by his children

[kittydripuwu]

Hey can I request for Bsd Boys headcannon :dazai, chuuya, and akutagawa reacting seeing their s/o flinch after they almost snapped out of anger at them (s/o can be gender neutral or female)

hihi! hope this is okay <3 enjoy!

dazai, chuuya and akutagawa (+fyodor) seeing their s/o flinch hcs

words - 962

warnings - swearing

genre - angsty fluff hcs

note - yes ik fyodor wasn't requested but i felt like adding him

dazai osamu

- argument stems probably from you hanging out with chuuya or someone really pissing him off

- very manipulative during arguments, will almost never be reasonable whether its something you did or not

- dazai's not one to show much emotion in the first place so he wouldn't really show you how mad he actually is

- but eventually he will go off if he lingers on it for too long

- will start off by talking with an angry tone but eventually will escalate to yelling

- this will scare you and make you flinch considering that you've never really seen him this mad

- will see you flinch and instantly stop yelling at you

- realises that hes gone too far instantly

- he'll apologise calmly and forget whatever he was angry about in the first place because man like he scared of losing you

- you are like EVERYTHING to him like u are his reason to live so please just forgive this man hes trying his best to be a better person

- will keep apologizing until he feels you've finally forgiven him (even tho u did when he first apologised)

- makes it up to you by cuddles or stargazing with him ( please i see dazai as the type of person to just stargaze for hours like idk why but it makes sense to me??)

- he'll hold you close and tell you sweet lil things like "i love you" "you know i would never hurt you"

- WILL make u promise to never leave him because man this got hiM SCARED like hes fucking scared of people just leaving him when he gets too close

- so please, reassure him that this was nothing to you and that it's okay, it was just a small argument (even tho it wasnt that small)

- but ya overall expect good cuddles and hugs after, as an apology

- and kisses like everywhere

chuuya nakahara

- oh boy

- we know this man has some anger issues

- idk what he would possibly get mad about but tbh it probably wouldnt be anything related to you

- will probably start ranting about someone that made him mad at work or overall just something really small that pissed him off

- very short tempered (haha short)

- you let him yell for a good while because you know he needs to let some sort of anger out

- but it will get scary shortly after he starts he kinda just goes nuts

- no self control when hes angry

- he wont even realise the look on ur face

- ur scared, admit it

- he may be short but hes SCARY when mad

- anyways

- when he sees you flinch  tho, dead silence in the room

- he goes QUIET which is rare for chuuya yes

- the one thing hes very afraid of is hurting you, he would never want to hurt you in anyway

- will give you the biggest hug

- tells you he loves you and hes sorry

- reassures you that he would never wanna hurt you or make you scared of him

- pls he loves you so much

- wont let go of you for the REST OF THE NIGHT

- he needs to make sure you know that you're safe in his arms

akutagawa ryunosuke

- um this boy is just ANGRY always

- would probably get mad cause of atsushi being praised by dazai

- "why him"

- please hes been through so much oh my god this man

- dazai wtf how could u hurt this poor boi

- ANYWAYS

- yeah he'll be really fucking heated and just fucking yell and threaten to kill anyone around him (if theres anyone else there apart from you)

- bye this is awful but i feel like he would accidentally activate his rashomoun and break something -

- so ya when he sees you flinch for the first time, i feel like he wouldn't really thing anything of it until he sees you do it again a couple of times

- he'll stop yelling and talking in general

- he wouldn't really know what to say or do tbh

- but will apologise

- will get sad cause he didn't wanna make u scared of him

- like yes he wants people to fear him but hello?? not you omg ur special to him <3

- will probably walk away for like an hour and keep to himself until he's ready to properly apologise to you

- will then give you a hug and let you sleep in his arms

- i dont see aku as being very physically affectionate but yeah dw you'll get ur well deserved cuddles <3

fyodor dostoevsky

- tbh i wouldnt put it past nikolai to piss him off LMAO like he would fully annoy him SO much

- but its okay cuz we love niko <3

- sorry but i cannot see this man yelling

- hes just so calm?

- and collected?

- how -

- anyways

- so hard to read like you have no clue what hes thinking like EVER?

- but you can tell hes mad when his eyes go all dark and he talks like SUPER calmly with 0 emotion in his voice

- he'll scare you

- i mean who wouldn't be scared of him

- you'd probably flinch from just the way he talks so fucking CALMLY

- like how? is? he? so? calm? yet? angry?

- oh boy he would def feel bad for going all scary on you

- "im sorry, milaya" (darling)

- he would say that so calmly aswell-

- would give you a forehead kiss and light hug and go to his lil work room for like 3 hours

- you will not see him until its time to sleep where he'll cuddle you and apologise again

- "i would never want to scare my little myshka" (mouse) he would say that to you as you fall asleep

- will give u so many forehead kisses PLZ

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #chuuya #dazai osamu #akutagawa #fyodor #bsd headcanons #chuuya x reader #akutagawa x reader #dazai x reader #fyodor x reader #bsd imagines

[emonaculate]

Streamer Eren Headcanon pt 2

`❥ AU: Modern!AU

`❥ Genre: Fluff

`❥ Pairing: Streamer!Eren x Black!Reader

`❥ Warnings Include: Profanity, Established relationship, Eren is a dork

`❥ Author Note: You guys loved the first one so much I decided to do it again. Sorry if it isn't as good as the first one, I'm working on other projects at the same time

Eren met you during college and was instantly smitten

You were a foreign student studying abroad

He spent months trying to learn English just to properly talk to you

You finally cave in and go on dates with him because slfkssrlw how could you not when he's that sweet

Having said that, when you're frustrated whilst he streams, to check on you he'll switch over to English.

"Hey pretty girl whats wrong?"

"I can't find the letters for my cross word."

"....Aha lemme see."

He is trying his hardest not to laugh at your cute little scrunched up face as he helps you find the word.

During his charity streams, by popular vote, he lets you do his make up

Despite the stream being 24 hrs long people continue to watch because the interactions are too cute.

" 'Ren stay still."

"It feels moist."

"Never say that again."

"Wait. Babe. I want the thingy on my eyes."

"Thingy?"

"Yeah the sharp shit and the stuff on my lashes."

"Its called wing liner and mascara, Eren."

"Yeah that shit."

"Don't swear. Kids are watching."

"Man fuck them-"

"Yeager."

"....Ahem... sorry."

He is definitely the baddest bitch after you finish <3

Kept the make up on even after the stream finished

He may be a COD player but he does not have toxic masculinity

LOVES how he looks when pampered and whilst he'll never go out of his way to do make up or use your products; if you ever offer he's down

"What that's shit on your face?"

"It's an Indian face mask."

"It looks like throw up."

"Do you wanna try it?"

"Yes."

Once talked shit about braids not hurting that bad.

So the only natural solution was to make a bet

You styled his beautiful long hair into nice and neat cornrows (if you can't braid, take him to the africans)

He couldn't even sit through the procedure, literally got up and left midway through

"Fuck no. I like pain as much as the next guy but hell no."

"Aw baby what wrong? I thought it wasn't that bad."

Went on stream the next day to talk about the experience and why he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Everyone can tell that your relationship is serious when you accidentally broke his PS5

Like he gets absolutely livid and wants to do nothing more than yell at you

But after seeing your teary eyed expression and your broken apologies in German

He just accepts it and steps completely out of the room to keep from blowing up on you.

It takes a few days and even though you feel completely like shit, you dont bother him

He finally comes around and just holds you tightly

No words or anything

His gesture is enough to let you know he forgives you.

He gets a new one immediately and is more careful when it comes to letting you mess with alone though lmao

Decides to do the little draw my life video and moves people to tears without trying

He thought his trauma was normal pfft

While that gets to people, what really affects his audience is when he get to how you make him feel

"If I can describe Y/n with one word, I'd have to say sunshine. You know that feeling when you've seen nothing but depressing rainstorms for months at a time but just that one day, the sun pokes out and shows that the world isn't so gloomy and bad. It's actually quite beautiful. The sun manages to make those sad raindrops look like diamonds. Thats Y/n to me. She makes the days where I feel at my worst better in every way. "

Eren suffers from a couple mental illnesses which is why he donates to their respected charities

He suffers from ADHD, Depression, and Anger issues.

Now you can't just magically make all of his issues go away but you being around does soothe him in a special way

Not many people can do that and LOTS have tried

But you just manage to get him in ways he cant explain

Even the videos with all of his friends involved, his focus on you

Fans can tell when you guys are not together during streams

Eren's temper is a lot shorter and he pops off quickly.

And of course he just so happens to play "getting over it"

This is one of those times he gets cancelled

Coochie-manz63: wow ur trash

"You're literally someone who hides behind a fucking screen to talk shit but I know if I was in front of you; there would be no exchange because if you so much looked at me wrong, I would have beaten your ass into fucking next year, you dyslexic fucking waste of space. Learn how to goddamn spell before you try to talk shit again."

IloveYEAGGGGER23: Damn..

You ended up being the one to clean up his mess, yet again

"Eren is very sorry for his actions, He understands how his words can be hurtful to others.. Right babe?"

"Huh? Oh um yeah.. My bad ig."

After the apology video, you give Eren one of your famous lectures.

"Eren you can't treat others like that just because you get a little upset. Remember what your therapist said about controlling your temper. You can't just do it when I'm around, you have to do it all the time.

Now Eren loves you to pieces but your lectures just do not help his ADHD mind.

So to shut you up, he does the only thing he knows how

Takes your breath and thoughts away with his passionate kisses.

His pattern is always the same

He pretends to listen, nodding occasionally, stands up and moves closer to you.

Grabs your jaw gently and tips your head back before capturing your lips into a sheering kiss that always leaves you breathless

"What were we talking about?"

"We were just going to get some food."

You're just as weak for Eren as he is for you <3

#eren x black reader #eren jaeger #eren aot #snk #aot headcanons #eren headcanons #eren yeager x black reader #black reader #eren has anger issues but is still sweet

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

bakugou thoughts pt 2001847471 :)))

- if u go to the park, and somebody is like, walking their dog n the animal barks at y’all??? bakugou is barking back. mans full on squares up, n barks at the dog until it backs off

- he rarely gets into shows/series, but when he finds one he likes, he’ll only watch the first few episodes and then make u watch the rest with him. he’ll always say sum “if i dont watch with you, then i gotta make extra time for your needy ass. ‘m prioritizing my fuckin’ time. it doesn’t mean anything, shut up.” ...... he’s lying. it does mean something. it means he wants to share the things he likes with u

- pls he’s so smart, and generally pretty aware, but sometimes he’ll just do something so duMb. like, u kno that thing that happens sometimes with hair?? like, when it sticks to ur fingers and no matter what u do, u can’t get it off?? bakugou is literally breaking his wrist a foot away from u, shaking his hand back and forth and cursing soooo loudly. u just gotta go up to him and gently remove the hair from him like “oh honey- no.”

- peanut gallery comments. lots of them. mans will sit fully dead silent, not talking for the whOle day, but the second u do something embarrassing?? like trip??? suddenly he has a LOT to say ..... smh men

- animals just always like him. its absolutely unexplainable bc he’s so loud n moves super suddenly,,, but the amount of street animals that follow him home is ridiculous. srsly. sometkmes he even has other people’s pets trying to follow him home

- respects absolutely no one n that somehow strangely makes him the most respectful u’ve ever seen??? like- he hates everyone the exact same so u won’t ever catch bakugou in an act of discrimmination

- he can’t draw at all but if u asked him to draw something, it’ll be the same skull every single time. it’s a good skull, but it’s soooo obvious he learned how to draw it from a tutorial in the midst of his emo phase

- will fully make fun of others for baby-talking around their s/o, n then just fully go home n look at you like “tired.” “hungry.” “kiss.”...... like okay baby man, maybe try putting a full sentence together before u start trying to run your mouth. hypocrite.

- probably sleeps like the dead. contrary to popular belief, i absolutely do not believe he’s up at every single noise. man’s could sleep thru an explosion, im sure of it. that being said tho, it’s probably actually hard for him to turn his brain off n fall asleep. he prob goes to bed so “early” bc he has to wind down for a good hr or two until he’s ready to actually sleep

- he’s got a vendetta against salespeople. like, if his phone rings with some bullshit about a product? if somebody, god forbid, tries to walk up to your door? fully frothing at the mouth annoyed. will chew out any employee who’s too underpaid not to listen to him

- eats like an absolute animal. no rlly, its bad. holds his spoon with a fist and digs at his meal like its the gold rush. the worst table manners you’ve ever seen rlly

- he gets sorts antsy if he sits for too long, so he’s always off doing random shit. like, u’ll look out the window n he’s just like, raking the .3 leaves from ur driveway, probably trying to guess where the wind will be so they wont blow back

- ik this with my heart and soul okay,,, bakugou has never had a conversation with u that wasnt from exactly .2 meters away. like,, if he’s comfortable, then he’s just close all the time. like he’s waving his hands around and yelling and you just have to take his face in ur hands and go “im literally right here. ily but pls tone it down for the sake of my hearing.”

- very much guard dog behavior when y’all go out. absolutely will not leave ur side for even a second, like, at a bar or during a concert. even if u go to the bathroom he’s like, leaning against the wall and waiting right outside the door

- gets absolutely bitchy about your phone blowing up while you’re hanging out. its not that he’s suspicious that ur, like, cheating on him, it’s just that he doesnt understand why u’d even leave ur phone on in the first place since he always has his turned off when ur around. if he gets annoyed enough he’ll fully take the phone out of ur hands, say sum “yeah, you don’t fuckin’ need this anymore. you’re done with this.” n toss it across the room while he kisses u senseless

- tbh his ultimate love language is 100% playfighting. v much would go heart eyes if u even seemed like u might try n wrestle him. obvi u dont win, but his favorite is how u laugh while he pins ur hands above ur head

- he sneers at other angry people. will fully, fully sit there like “jesus christ, they need to calm the hell down. annoying as shit- fuckin’ loud too.” ....... -i. who’s gonna tell him

- silent conversations with ur eyes. no rlly. if y’all are with friends and somebody says something questionable, bakugou is immeadiately turning to u, eyes hardly even shifting but u just know he’s hurling insults in his head

- he doesnt realize his own strength sometimes. like- he knows he’s strong, but if u ever open a door n ur like “woah, careful, this is heavier than it looks” bakugou is .2 steps behind u practically ripping the damn thing off it’s hinges. he’ll look at it, huffing like he doesn’f even understand the issue

- he rlly likes when u call him by his name. pet names are fine, but he srsly is super soft for the simple stuff. like when u look over at him, all excited, smile wide like “hey katsuki, u gotta see this! c’mere!”

- his road rage is severe. no rlly. bakugou drives like every day is a race n he’s one win away from going formula one. you’re pretty sure that the only reason he passed his license test is bc the instuctor was too terrified to tell him no

- bakugou probably does that thing where if you’re sitting on the counter top, watching him cook, he’ll stand between ur legs. hands on ur thighs or resting on ur hips while you tell him about your day

- can’t explain this one, but he doesnt kill spiders. he takes them outside. says sum “they eat ticks, idiot. what- you actually want a fuckin’ blood disease? Hah? ‘m not gonna kill it. motherfucker’s gotta earn his keep before dyin’ just like the rest of us.” while he v gently picks the spider up into his hand and walks it outside

- ik that his one cheat food is sugary cereal. like, he’s a health freak, but the one thing he can’t help but make a concession for is sugary cereal on the weekends

- he’ll sometimes get in this over-stimulated mood where everything pisses him off, n the only thing u can do is leave him alone. u learn this quick bc his anger doesn’t discrimminate and if u push him even after he tells u what’s up?? pls bakugou will lash tf out. at u. like, ik y’all like to write it but that whole “it’s okay- it’s just me. just look at me.” thing does not work with him,,, u literally gonna get merc’d if u try

- he’s probably a guy who’s gonna be super big on passing touches. like he drops his hand on ur head when he passes, or bumps his shoulder into urs when he laughs. no footsies tho. too sappy even for him- pls if u tried to initate that he’d crush ur toes under the table aHAHAHA

- feeds every street cat he comes across. is probably super fond of the ones with a bunch of scratches/scars on them. he’d die if u knew, but one time u caught him feeding a scratched up calico n going “bet u beat his stupid ass, right? that’s my girl. we always win, huh?”

—/—

surprise suprise,, my brain rlly never shuts the hell up about this man

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha fic #mha bakugou #bakugou headcannon #bakugou hcs #mha headcannons #mha hcs

[theinkangelsfnfwritingheaven]

could u maybe do like- a ron confession? basically like how he would confess his feelings for the reader yk? hh sorry If I'm bothering u :')

《These feelings suck | Ron x reader》

Pairings: Ron x reader

Setting: Bob's sunshine place, Little mans house

Warnings: none

Genre: Fluff?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

A/N: I am so srry for not getting to ur request for a LONG time but here you go!! Hopefully you'll enjoy it ^^'

Masterlist | Write for list

It was just a normal sunny day in sunshine. You were happily picking beautiful white flowers to make flower crowns. You were also there to just relax and chill. Bob was usually at sunshine but he was with opheebop today, just hanging out together.

You didn't really know where the other's were right now but you didn't pay no mind to it as you finished up picking flowers.

Ron's pov:

"I can't take it anymore little man!" I yelled out in anger and worry. Little man watched me shout. We was currently at his house and I was stressing the fuck out. "Why did I have to fall in love with someone- why why" I would say putting my hands on my head in stress. "What's wrong with having feelings for someone?" Little man says.

I look at him. "These feelings are fucking painful and if I dont confess to them I might go insane little man!" I shout again. "Hey hey I'm the one who does the shouting- I dont know anything about relationships or confessing but you should just get it over with- Remember ron ur a cool guy just be smooth with it and dont say anything OFFENSIVE" Little man tells me, trying to help me out. I sigh. "Ur right- I'll just go confess right now then" He gives me a thumbs up and I leave his house.

No one's pov:

"God this is stressful and nerve wrecking.." Ron mumbled to himself, walking up to where you were. You didn't notice ron as you continued to relax on the green grass and watched the clouds pass by.

Once you did notice him you looked at him and smiled. "Ron!!" You say his name happily. Ron's eyes widen a bit and he chuckles. "Happy to see me?" He asks, sitting next to you. You nod at what he said. "Ur a real cool guy to hang out with" You tell him. Ron blushes a bit. "I'm alright, nothin to special" He says, looking up at the sky.

A few mintues pass before you break the silence to say something. "Did you need me or something?" You would say, looking at ron. Ron looks away from the sky and looks at you back. "Oh uh- I kinda need to tell you something-" Ron replies. He looked anxious and stressed a bit. "Oh alright! Tell me what you need to say"

Ron takes a deep breath in then breaths out, sighing. "I kinda uh- have a crush on you y/n, I've been getting these feelings and I needed to confess before they make me go crazy.. your a really cool and swag person and I'd like to be more then just a friend" Ron confesses to you, trying not to stutter or mess up on his words.

You blush from this, surprised a bit. "And if you don't feel the same way it's alright, friends or lovers is both cool" He adds on, trying not to make you feel bad if you were to friend zone him. You shake your head in a fast pace and you grab his hands, holding them in yours. "No no- Ron I-I love you too" You tell him, stuttering a bit. His eyes widen a bit, not expecting that answer.

"Are you sure? Ur not just saying this to make me feel better right??" Ron asks. "No I- Ron I have feelings for you to- I was gonna confess to you but I didn't have the courage to do it.. I thought you were to cool for me-" Ron would cut you off, pulling you into a kiss. He held ur face lovingly, his hands on ur cheeks. Your eyes widen before closing them, returning the kiss.

The kiss was sweet and felt nice. Ron then pulled away, his hands on ur shoulders now. "T-that was my first kiss-" You tell him softly. Ron chuckles a bit. "I hope it was enjoyable? Sorry for not asking for your permission or consent first.." Ron would apologize. You blink for a second still shocked by the kiss. "Its ok it felt really nice for my first kiss" You reassure him, giving ron a hug. Ron would take a second before hugging you back. "God I love you y/n.." "I love you to ron"

Afterwards yall both hang out together and you gave ron a flower crown! Making yall match together.

#fnf x reader #fnf mod #bobs onslaught #vs bob #vs bob fnf #fnf ron #fnf ron x reader #fnf bobs onslaught #fnf bobs onslaught x reader #ron x reader #fnf bob #fnf vs ron #fnf ron mod #fnf mod x reader #friday night funkin ron #friday night funkin mod #friday night funkin mod x reader

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

#spencer x ghost #jess writes #ishhhhh??????? #venturiantale #venturiantale pie #johnny ghost #spencer acachalla #johnny toast #jimmy casket #fred spooker #let me know if you enjoyed this or not it was intense #sr #ship review #ship reviews #vt ships #vt ship reviews #vt ship review #vt sr

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

#JudeJournals

[hoe4dameron]

Poe Dameron (Sexual) Preferences pt. 2/???

(Yes I know the above gif isn’t Poe as a character exactly but I can’t imagine that he’s constantly in his pilot outfit so) Hello again!! I’m back with sinning™️ pt. 2 and as always this is practically porn and VERY NSFW 18+ only but anyways I hope you all enjoy this as much as the first, this ones gonna be a little longer with more “plot” behind it lol——

okay this ones actually pretty lengthy and has more of a story too it than I thought it would so ur welcome lol and honestly I don’t think I should call this preferences because this is more like a full story so sorry about that lol

Poe has cum inside you before with a condom on but never without one

But there’s always a first time for everything and he decides that the night before he deploys for his biggest mission yet is a prime opportunity

“Ugh y/n...baby I’m gonna-“

And it happens so quickly that you didn’t know it was happening until he had let everything out

But damn it was sexy feeling him fill you up and the little pulse of him inside you was amazing

You are upset but dont make it a point to let him know because what’s really the use?? You’re on the pill anyways

Or so you thought

You had been delivered the wrong package from the storage room and taken birth control pills that were scheduled to be sent back because they were expired and had been there for years

You laid with Poe for the rest of the night and enjoyed his presence as much as you could without dreading his departure the next morning

He didn’t sleep very well that night, despite being physically exhausted and mentally worn

He turned over to take in his sleeping beauty one more time, maybe be never would again...

He turns over to see that you’re awake too and he jolts up a little too quick and almost falls out of bed

“Poe oh my god I’m so sorry” you loudly whisper but also laughingly say, while he gives a disgruntled stare

“You’re supposed to be fast asleep with a beautiful little pout on your lips so that I can kiss you gently on your forehead before I attempt to sleep again the night before my mission” he stammers stubbornly

“Sorry baby, maybe we could do something better?”

“Mmm yeah and what would that be?”

“...I could jerk you off whil-”

“No, babygirl were just going to have to wait until I come back home again for that”

And this gets you going because what if he doesnt come home again, what if this is the last conversation you’ll have, what is this is the last smile you two will share in private?

You pull him closer to you and snuggle extremely close into him, he smells like his x-wing and the cologne that you bought him a year ago

He wraps his arms around you and lays his hands just above your ass but eventually one finds its way inside your pants and grabs at your ass

You don’t initiate anything though, he’s just doing that because it almost feels more natural than doing nothing

You both fall gently into sleep, but the sleep itself is restless and unforgiving

Poe wakes up with a gnawing pit in his stomach, not from the prospect of dying for the resistance or of this mission going haywire, but because of the way he knows you’ll look at him before he leaves

You get dressed in front of him so that he can take all of you in one last time— it almost like your final sexy goodbye, in case something does happen, you want him to go out with a good time

He grabs you while you’re in the middle of putting on the skimpy lacy bra that’s his favorite and pulls you onto his lap

“Listen to me baby..you know my dedication to the resistance and to the freedom of those oppressed by the empire, but I also need you to know that that cannot compare to the love and desperation I feel every time I leave you here alone.”

You start sobbing in his arms and he just holds you while you let out all your nagging thoughts from the last few days

“Baby you’re so amazing and brave and hot and loving and you’re so stupid and stubborn and boyish and you’re such a hot head sometimes but I still love you so much but now you’re taking off again and I just don’t want you to go but also I’m perfectly aware that you need to but the nights you’re gone are so hard and I don’t kn-know if youll be back in my arms again”

Now it’s his turn to cry

“I’ll always be your hotshot babygirl you know that”

he’s just trying to lighten the mood so that you’re not both drowned by the emotions of the moment

It’s only an hour before he leaves now and you’ve both managed to compose yourself enough to be seen by everyone else

The resistance is strong and will not be intimidated by the empires false strength

But goddamnit sometimes you wished you and Poe could just move to some remote, desolate planet and start a life all on your own

Poe is geared up and ready to go and some time and encouragement with his crew has energized him in just the right way

He pecks you on the lips before he leaves but before he fully walks away he leaves a note in your pocket

He flys off and leaves you feeling empty and abandoned

But luckily you find the note just when you get to your room and that’s a good thing because if you had found it earlier everyone would have to get you checked because you lost your mind crying at his little words

“To the light of my life, I love you more than my duties, more than my x-wing, and more than BB-8 (but don’t tell him that!) stay safe until I return. ❤️, Poe

About 2 weeks later, You find BB-8 waiting in the flight deck where Poe left and immediately comfort him, knowing that has such an innocent loyalty to Poe and the resistance

“Hey buddy what are you doing all alone here? Isn’t R2 around here somehwhere? Or maybe Finn or Rey, I know you love them!!”

But he just rolls his little round self right up to you and looks up at you with a lot of sass for a droid that has no facial expression

“God fucking damnit fine I’m sorry then, you’ll just have to wait until he gets back!”

You’re pissed now and all that sadness has manifested itself into anger...at everything and everyone

Finn attempts to get you to calm down over the next few weeks, but sleep deprivation, more work because Poe is gone, and the looming threat of him not coming back are tearing away at you...or at least that’s what you figured it was...

#poe dameron preferences #poe dameron #poe star wars #poe x reader #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagines #poe dameron smut #smut fanfiction #smut with plot

[gunmetalgrey-trashpile]

morons united group chat with @diabolicaltendencies @epiitaphs @theasteriae

ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : whos hosting this weekend? Bagsy not me, only just got the window fixed from when Bash tried to escape through it. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : tried? i think you mean succeeded.

SMS [ do not answer ] : anyway, yeah, no, i can't. sorry. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : if you mean you went though a closed window and got covered in glass, sure, you succeeded. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : you're just bitter because you lost the bet. word to the wise, alex, never ever bet against basher moran ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : it’s fine, I put the window repairs in your card. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : that's fine too; "my" card is actually august's card. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : should have known going for your wallet was a liability. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : i mean, probably, yeah. you're fingers are so sticky, i'd have to be stupid to carry my real wallet when i'm meeting up with you. AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: And my card is really the inheritance fund so you might as well do something useful with it, Alex. sms [ clusterfuck ]: I'm out of town until Sunday. But if you need a place to crash I'm sure you'll find your way in.

BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : you could have told me! if i'd known it was dear old dad's money i was spending, i'd have blown the whole lot a long time ago SMS [ do not answer ] : where out of town, exactly?

AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: which is exactly why they wouldn't give it to me all at once. sms [ clusterfuck ]: what? you looking to come along?

BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : killjoys SMS [ do not answer ] : nope, not if you're where i think you are. just seeing if you'll tell me the truth.

ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : dammmmmn well seeing as I’ve had to put up with you shitheads for so many years I’m glad your daddy’s finally paying up SMS [ trash pile ] : better get me a fridge magnet from wherever you are BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : oh yeah, i heart surrey, just what you've always wanted. not. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : at least August gets me stuff rather than BREAKING MY FLAT SMS [ trash pile ] : I have a lot less anger towards your dad now he’s going to pay for my MOT SMS [trash pile] : is this what rich kid life is like?? BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : oh yeah? why don't you get august to bring you daddy's ashes back as well then, so you can bow and scrape before the urn, really say thank you? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: I'd happily tell you but you could just as easily ask your boss. Your passive aggressive shit must be rubbing off on him. sms [ clusterfuck ]: but seriously, by all means, spend away. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : alright, well, i  guess saturday night's on me after all then SMS [ do not answer ] : jim asked you to work? why did he ask you and not me? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: because he actually gives a damn about you and I'm still expendable, apparently.

sms [ clusterfuck ]: Don't have a fridge magnet, Alex, but I got a pretty nice knife off the bitch who tried to stab me with it. ALEX SMS [trash pile] : bash calm down, it’s probably better not to be mr. Narcissistic fucks favours? SMS [ trash pile] : JUST CHECKING but was this bitch very short and in a blonde wig?? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: No...? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : okay that makes me feel a whole lot better SMS [ trash pile ] : shall we do another weekend if August can’t make it?? We need someone with more than one brain cell. AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: Yeah, no. It was a man with a death wish. You'd know if you tried to stab one of us... right? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I mean you’d really hope so but it’s not unheard of SMS [ trash pile ] : I stab a lot of people AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: Fair enough. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : if you’re not in Berlin right now you’re probably safe SMS [ trash pile ] : probably AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: Just stick to the plan. I'll be there Sunday to pick you all up off the floor. sms [ clusterfuck ]: Or bail you out. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I’ve got brunch with Sam Sunday SMS [ trash pile ] : if we survive AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: You really think you'll make that date? I'd reschedule that if anything. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : ITS NOT A DATE BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, but does sammy know that? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I need coffee and avocado toast to fix the hangover SMS [ trash pile ] : we. are. not. dating. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, but, again ... does he know that? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: I have coffee and a toaster. Just tell Sam to bring your avocado and something for the rest of us. We can interrogate him then. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : shall i ask jim if he still has those thumbscrews lying around? i mean, it's better to do these things thoroughly, wouldn't you say? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I wish I had stabbed you AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: I was just thinking about questioning him. But you know, now that you mention it. How well do you think he'd hold up? Hypothetically. ALEX SMS [ Trash pile ] : this is a conversation we are not having AUGUST SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, it's pointless -- so much easier just to find out for real ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : if we were dating, which we very much aren’t, why would you need to interrogate him? It’s SAM SMS [ trash pile ] : he’s stitched you ALL up BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, but are you not dating in the way jim and i aren't dating, or are you not dating in the way that august isn't dating anyone at all? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: A fair question. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : fair point. you know, though, sammy's pretty steely. i think he could go at least a couple of rounds. AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: With his background I'm honestly just curious if he can take it as well as he dished it out. SEB sms [block]: oh are we talking about torturing sam? im down sms [block]:  im with august think itd be interesting BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yes, aha, 3 against 1, alex, sorry -- you've been outvoted! ALEX SMS [trash pile] : trust you to show up when we discuss torture SEB sms [block]: i only have time for important things ALEX SMS [trash pile] : anyone lays a hand on my not boyfriend and I will break bones SEB sms [block]: hah you said the word boyfriend BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : methinks the lady doth protest too much SMS [ do not answer ] : just kidding, alex isn't a lady SEB sms [block]: she could barely pretend to be ALEX SMS [trash pile] : IM NOT A LADY FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK SMS [trash pile] : listen just cause I’m the only one who hangs around with people who aren’t psychotic murderers SMS [trash pile] : speaking of, how is jimbo? SEB sms [block]: lady moran. weird ring to it. ALEX SMS [trash pile] : yh bash ur mum is WEIRD SEB sms [block]: really shouldve seen that response coming sms [block]: anyway alex you cant break all our bones at once so really just be ready for ur boy to disappear for a while BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : don't talk shit about my mother SEB sms [block]: dont take it personally, petya has some mommy issues BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : unless you want to get into all your mummy issues, you two? SMS [ do not answer ] : precisely, back the fuck off SEB sms [block]: or what BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : or i will show you why it is my nickname isn't seb, but basher SMS [ do not answer ] : got that? SEB sms [block]: loud and clear sms [block]: still, you'd better pick on alex first, since shes more ur size BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : fuck you SMS [ do not answer ] : i could take you down any day of the week and you know it SEB sms [block]: sounds like a challenge to me BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : bring it then SMS [ do not answer ] : i dare you SEB sms [block]: see u this weekend then sms [block]: keep an eye out BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : i've beaten bigger men than you blindfolded SMS [ do not answer ] : so i think i'm good to sleep, thanks SEB sms [block]: if you say so BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : i could take you and alex on and once and still come out without a scratch on me SEB sms [block]: well now thats just bragging sms [block]: but this is 1 on 1 you can fight alex another time BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : gladly, mate ALEX Alex Moran has left the chat SEB sms [block]: oh perfect we can plan the torture without worrying she'll tattle to sam AUGUST Sms [ clusterfuck ]: Oh hey Seb. How's it going? SEB sms [block]: just another day of making sure my sister doesn't murder me AUGUST Sms [ clusterfuck ]: I see you two ran Alex off again..  yep pretty much what I was about to guess. SEB sms [block]: these things happen when we're left unsupervised AUGUST Sms [ clusterfuck ]: Understandable. Unfortunately we should probably keep Sam in one piece if you're out picking fights. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : it's a shame, but ... he kind of has a point, you know SEB sms [block]: it really is sms [block]: as much as i also hate to agree sms [block]: and i dont think sticking him in a basement overnight is going to do much BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : we could always try the interrogation tactics they taught us in the army? SEB sms [block]: well. thatd probably be logical BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : that way he'd be physically fine afterwards, hopefully mentally competent enough to patch you back up as well SEB sms [block]: ur so smug about assuming there wont be one single mark on you sms [block]: but as long as he can hold a needle and use it properly then yeah should be alright BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : ah no, i'm not that arrogant, i just know i can cope with a couple of cuts and bruises SMS [ do not answer ] : i know i'll have had worse SEB sms [block]: fair enough sms [block]: we'll see if you can do enough damage to actually make me get stitches or whatever BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : if you end up needing stitches, i'll buy the first round SMS [ do not answer ] : fair's fair, yeah? SEB sms [block]: yeah thats fair BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : excellent, well then, i'll see you saturday SEB sms [block]: sounds good. ill be ready

#discord thread 007 | morons group chat #v; ⋱ OH GOT THERE’S MORE OF THEM ⋰ ⦙ |*| ( crack family ) #⌐╦╦═─ ⋱ morans or morons? hard to tell ⋰ ⦙ alex + august + seb + bash (crack family) #diabolicaltendencies #epiitaphs #theasteriae

[jedward5ever]

Jacob and Edward

hey guys. just a little something. Jacob and Edward if you’re into that. 

setting: cullen’s house they’re studying or smthn bella hasnt moved in yet

edward: so what did you get for number 5?

Jacob: uhhhhh…..i didnt do it

edward: ok. why?

Jacob: i don't really get this whole math thing...can u explain?

e: oh that’s okay. well first of all this is biology. so in question 5 they’re asking what is the first step of glycolysis, do you know what glycolysis is?

J: uhhhhh i turn into a wolf sometimes

e: *startled, looks away.* uh? ok well glycolysis is basically when glucose is split (glucose is sugar and like……. sweet) and the final product is two pyruvate molecules

J: *turns into a wolf* aaaaawooooooooooooo

e: *slaps him across the wolf face, once then twice* what the FUCK are you doing. you cant do ths in my house and u broke my antique glass table i stole from bulgaria

J: *turns back into a person* sorry bro i do that sometimes when im nervous

e: ………. *lights down spotlight on edward for brief monologue* i… i  feel so guilty i slapped him to be or not to be? then i should aboiplogize *lgihts back on*... hey jacob im sorry is lapped u….. why r u nervous’

J: its ok bro…..im nervous bc...no i cant say it...its embarrassing

e: *caresses jacobs’ face where he slapped him* its ok. im sorry. sometimes i let my anger get the better of me

J: its ok ...its just that….i..i….

e: *starts getting mad* speak the fuck up. what are u saying

J: *mumbles something*

e: *starts meditating to calm down* what.

J: i said…..i….l...ll

e: WHAT YOU STUPID MUTT

j:......i….love……

e: what the fuck r u trying to say *flexes his hands ina nger*

J: i love y- *dies of unknown cause*

e: Hi, I’m edward cullen. im trained in first aid. can i help u? *no answer* hello? are you awake? bystander *points to alice* please contact ems adn let them know someone is about to be Turned *bites jacob*

J: *becomes a vampire but also still werewolf* bro……

e: ok. so do you understand glycolysis now?

J: yeah i do thanks bro that helped a lot

e: no problem, now onto question 6. wait. this isn’t a bio question. it says…. no i can’t read this filth

J: what does it say man

e: it… it *face turns red then green then purple* it…. ugh this is disgusting. you read it

J: i didnt want to tell u this bc i thought you would make fun of me but…..i cant read...

e: u fucking illiterate bastard. fine ill read it *clears throat* fuck i didnt copy pzste it hold on

Lmssoaooao dw ok it wont let me but *jacob x edward fanfiction*

LAMOAOAK

J: dude…...thats in the textbook????

e: yeah. its fucking disgusting. how did they know everything about us… actually wait it look s like someone wrote this by hand…

J: thats so weird…..who would have done that….so gross….

e: lemme check whose textbook this is. *flips to front*................................................................. *looks up at jacob with golden orbs and squints his eyes* it says its ur textbook

J: thats c-c-crazy bro ,,,,, i cant even read hahaha how could i write that hahaha

e:....... you fucking liar. yeah u can read. is this seriously how u thin k of me? of us? ur sick in the fucking head. i woulc neve.r;..... never fucking do that with u

J:....is that...is that realy how you feel?

e: *inexplicable rage* obviously u weirdo stupid werewolf dog *starts choking jacob*

J: *actually likes being choked* oh no…..oh no…..don't do this…. e: *notices hes into it* AHRHGHGHHGHGHHG (in rage) *choke slams him into the broken glass table* YOURE SO GROSS

J: *thinks* he will never love me the way i love him...maybe i should just end it all…..

e: *freeze frame…. lights down spotlight on edward again...  monoglogu* wait…. what the fuck……… is that smell? i just realized i cannot read his mind? what the fuck is going on…………. *slideshow in the background with informational voice: it turns out that one of jacob’s sperm containing renesemee was i dont know hanging out which was already pyscihologucally connected to bella and stole bella’s power of smelling good and no thoughts then transferred it to jacob making him have those powers* *spotlight end* jacob…….. why the fuck…. cant i read ur mind… why do u smell so good…

J: i didnt know u could read minds….maybe i just don't have thoughts…..

e: everyone has fucking thoughts.l…… but i cant… read urs…

J: i don't know…….has that ever happened before?

e: no… *intense eye contact*

J; *blushes and looks down* im sorry im different

e: *looks away cus jacob looked away, then  accidentally looks down* bro… is that….

J: no bro… its not what it looks like!!!

e: *stares at him then throws up to the side* i cant believe this… ur a nasty dog but i cant help but feel….. attracted to u

J: youre...attracted to me……

e: I dnt’ know why……. dont worry i cant get it up i have no blood

J: wait….we cant fuck??? Im out of here *turns to leave*

e: wait. there is a way…… *flashback on the slideshow to when edeawrd drank jacobs blodo to vampirize him this slideshow is viewable by edward and jacob*

J: well tell me,,,how do we fuck?????

e: u tell me

J: i don't know youve been a vampire longer than i have

e: bruh. so????? i follow the christian beliefs

J: stupid idiot we cant fuck then

e: *looks away* i guess. not like i wanted to anyways

J: you know what? I don't have to deal with this *turns to leave* call me when you want some dick

e: *when jacob is more than like 10m away suddenly intense pain hits them both* theres… something i forgot to tell u. when i vampirized u….. iut basically means ur bonded to me for like 1 month….

J: so youre telling me….im stuck with u for a month….and we cant fuck

e: well yeah more or less

the end

BREAKOUT ROOMS ENDED CLASS IS OVER LMAAOAOAOAGood rp bro SUCH A GOOD CLASS i agreed exactly to be continued

LOL EXCELLENT STORY it was honestly amazing great twists and turns, the tensini was high cant wait to see where this goes hope rob enjoys <3

setting: school assembly, principal andrew is doing a presentation on how to stay safe from these mysterious killings….. (vampires and werewolfs)

jacob and edward sit next to each other cus they cant be 10m apart.

e: ugh. u again.

J: stop talking as if this isnt ur fault

e: *whispering* ur the one who fucking died for no reason

J: ok and?? You didnt have to bring me back

e: *roll eyes* u know exactly why i had to

J:.........what do you mean…….

e: *looks at him with golden orbs then looks away* shut up. principal andrew is talking..

J: *is listening to every word andrew says bc he is so amazing but keeps looking at edward*......

e: * is listening and doesn’t notice j acob looking at him, then speaks to jacob without looking at him* look… they’re talking about killings… is this ur fucking tribe’s doing?

J: what the fuck no way its your stupid fucking family we keep our end of the agreement

e: *inhales sharply, then grips jacob’s leg with vampire strengthz* dont u fucking talk about my family like that u stupid mutt *people begin looking in their direction*

J: *is kind of turned on but would never admit it* stop being fucking gay people are staring

e: *notices people are staring and releases jacob, embarrassedly* just shut the fuck up and listen. *andrew begins talking about A CURFEW… they cannot leave their houses or some shit like basically e and j have to be together*

J:wait….how the fuck are we supposed to stay in our houses if we cant be away from each other….im not about to live with your weird incest family…

e: *enraged again, grabs the back of jacob’s neck at the pressure point* what the fuck. did. i say. about. talking. shit. about. my family. take that  back right fucking now

J: *smirks* what are you gonna do about it…..be more gay?

e: *even more rage* i am not fucking gay —- cut off by andrew: Edward, Jacob, what the fuck are yall doing? *everyone turns to look, spotlight on them*

J: im sorry mr andrew….its just that edward attacked me…..hes so in love with me and he keeps assaulting me...im not gay though

andrew: oh thank god (he thought they were gay). edward, jacob immediately separate.

J:uhhhhhhhh i think we have to talk though…..sort this out with words…

e: *is extremely embarrassed to have everyones attention on him* Yes sir, andrew. i mean principal andrew. *grabs jacob by the scruff of his neck and drags him to the hallway and then slams him in to the lockers like bullies in the 80s* why the FUCK did u embarass me like that

J: bro you embarrassed urself…..you were all over me….just say youre into me itll be easier for both of us

e: ALL OVER YOU? *slams him again*

J:yeah like ur all ove me right now you cant keep your cold dead hands off of me

e: *moves back as if burned, walking away backwards while also throwing up, but then he is too far and they are both in intense pain*

J: dude calm down lets talk about this shit….we gotta make a plan

e: *refusing to come closer, so still are in pain* …...plan… for … what

J: the fucking…..cerfew…. Idiot…. Come back…..

e: *doesn’t come back, vomits once more* no… u fucking… smell…. what do … u mean…. the curfew…

J: were you not….listening to andrew… we have to stay inside our houses….but how can we do that if we cant be apart from each other

e: *looks away angrily* ….. we… will have to… stay apart… in pain… i guess…

J: you’re so fucking stubborn you did this to me and now youre making me suffer too

e: … i… don’t… care…. *walks even further, causing them more pain*

J: were only like 20m apart….and it already feels like this…..you think we can handle more thN THIs forever???? Youre so fucking stupid

e: *glares at him but doesnt come closer* shut. the … fuck up…. you fucking…. dog…

J: *steps closer* make...me…..

e: *doesn’t see him coming cus eyes are closed* shut…. up… stop… talking…

J: *steps closer* i said…...make….me

a/n: how fucking close are they now huh  uhh like 3 ft apart ok

e: *smells jakob cus he stinks and opens eyes* GET AWAY FROM ME

J: make me *smirks*

a/n: LMFAO THANKS i need to formulate a perfect response lemmet hink of course take all the time you need

e: what the fuck do you mean make me? i will launch u across this hallway wolf boy

J: do it then…..

e: *grabs him by the neck again and slings him*

J: *dies*

e: *notices.( a/n: sigh) spotlight… on …. edward… monoglogue: i-........i cant believe i fucking killed him again…. the pain is gone but… literally wtf….. i…. grrr. *edward looks into the distance, pondering. then silently goes to jacob.* i have to save him. *begins cpr and mouth to mouth breathing*  

J: *was never actually dead only pretending like romeo and juliet* *smirks*

a/n: I FUCKING KNEW IT LOL

e: *notices the smirk, then realizes he was alive the whole time* what the FUCK jacob? *slaps him across the face* you dirty bastard

a/n KALMASKDAOJDIJDOASOISO

J: so i guess you don't hate me that much huh?

e: *slaps him again* i thought you fucking died. i couldn’t let andrew discover a dead body in the hallway. and. and anyway i was going to eat you afterwards so yeah take that

J: yeah thats so believable…… just say you love me...i wont judge you *gay slur*

e: *is about to rage again* im literally. fucking straight. i love…. va-vgagag gaggaga *starts vomiting* WHAT THE FUCK DO U WANT FROM ME

a/n IM CRYING HAHA

J: dude...its 2020...its ok to be gay...you don't have to pretend to be someone youre not,,,, i aceppt you

e: *once again, he can’t help but be attracted to jacob bc of the science i explained in the previous thing, stares depeply into jacob’s orbs* what… do… you… want… from …. me … u fucking… dog

J: *stares back into edwards orbs* i just….i just want you to be happy…

e: *looks away* i am… happy. away from you.

J: *looks away from edward looking away* if thats really how you feel…...fine...ill take the pain….

e: *once a fucking gain. spotlight. monologue* in all my 118 years…. ive caused so much pain and destruction… should i really put this on poor jacob’ why did i see children see i mean sayy omg on poor jacob’s shoulders. no i cant.* no. no. we can. stay together. *teeth clenched* for. the curse, of course. so. you don’t have pain. not that. i . like u.

a/n TEARS MAN WHY IS EDWARD A TSUNDERE I DONT KNOW

J: fine...for the curse….whatever helps you sleep at night..

e: *touches jacob’s shoulder (only cus theyre so close) and pushes him back* yeah. you can stay at. my house. i guess

a/n: (u have to say no so ed goes to jacobs werewolf hq)

J: no way i cant be around all those incesty vampires its creepy as fuck you come to my place

e: *gasp* what the fuck. youre literally a VAMPIRE too. i…. i dont wanna go to ur place…

J: physically im a vampire but mentally im still a wolf and i will not be around so many dead sister fuckers

e: ….. i don’t wanna be around u stinky werewolves…. Unless….no.

J: what man???

e: *is disgusted firstly, by werewolves, and the way jacob speaks so heterosexually irks him* nothing. can’t we, like. get a hotel room.

J: that might not be a bad idea…..but im poor remember

e: *facepalms then says annoyedly* fine. we’ll go to ur fucking wolf den. but u have to make it up to me.

J: ……...how?

e: *rolls eyes* i don;’t fucking know. u tell me. it better be good cus i will never get that werewolf smell off of me.

J: i mean…...we could like…..if youre down…….

e: *squints at him* what.

J: we could……..you know…. ..

e: *understands, slaps him across the face for millionth time poor jacob probably has permanent hand prints* EW.

J: like i don't want to because im not gay but id do it for you

e: … you know. i used to be able to read ur mind up until  a few weeks ago. so i do know what the fuck u thought of me…. what u thought—- *nearly vomits again*

J: but that was a long time ago...before we got close….now you made me straight

e: *extremely offended* what the fuck? you dont think im hot anymore?

J: why does it matter???? Youre not gay right

e: *hits him again* im not FUCKING gay. and it matters. b ecause, because,m because because because bcuae buse bcueacuab euacaubeucae BECAUSE. everyone thinks im hot. and if ur around him[edward] for the next month, u also need tot hink im hot.

a/n wtf is him oh of course a/n: edward is refering tohimself in third person

J: maybe if you were nicer to me id like you more...stop fucking hitting me and vomitting

a/n: lAMFPAOO,FP

e: *looks away in shame, then sighs shakily brings his cold vampirical hands to jacob’s bruised face* look. my hands. are so.. fucking cold they will heal ur bruies *doesnt look him in the eyes*

a/n HYDUHFUIEHWOIHOIDW

J: *doesnt make eye contact* thanks….i guess…

e: *keeps using vampircal cold hands to heal, then they accidentally make eye contact, edward looks away*

J: you don't have to look away…..

e: *glares back at him just to prove a point* fine.

J: *stares into edwards orbs with kindness and love* ……….

e: *stares back and recognizes what jacob is feeling, whispers* ur fucking gay

J: maybe…..but so are you…….

END

BREAKOUT ROOM ENDINGWHY THEY HAVE A COUNTDOWN. OK THIS SCENE ENDS HERE NEXT IS JACOB’S HOUSE ok it was really good today honestly excellent a/n are a perfect edditon  except im losing my ability to type and spell we at 3k words BRUH LMOAAOAOA i love us ok bye

dun dun dun dun (tear in my heart). LMAO listening to it oh good u start bruh its ur hosue

setting: jacob’s den thing, also we need to have my immortal descriptions

J: so make yourself at home i guess…..

e: *carrying black bag with mcr pins on it , looks around in disgust* ….. u live like this?

J: yeah man sorry im not rich like you are

e: *is definitely thinking something offensive towards native people but disguised as against werewolves as stephanie meyer always does* ok…. so where am i sleeping..

a/n HUIHBUFOEWGEUI did i lie  absolutely not

J;well like……...theres only one bed…

e: *mutters* could this get any more cliche. *notmutter* k. well im definitely not sleeping next to you. mind if i amazon prime a (whatever those fake small bed things are called)

J: if you want but theres not much room,,,,whatever,,,,,,*is disappointed*

e: *ignores jacob, typing on his phone to order the thing*

(Now Jacob’s family comes in I forgot their names but they’re here) billy is dad i think

J: oh hey guys this is edward he has to stay for a bit

Billy: *smells his ugly vampire smell* did you bring one of them….into my home????

edward: *visibly uncomfortable and surrounded by the werewolves, whispers to jacob* what the fuck… i didn’t know your whole pack was gonna be here…

J: *whispers back* this is our headquarters man….i didnt think theyd be so early thought *soeaks to fam* im sorry but a lot has happened….its necessary

a/n: k so im billy now? If u want

billy: *stares at edward for a while, assessing him.*

edward: …

billy: *sniffs him, then decides its ok* well then. if you say so jakey boy *claps edward on the shoulder* no biting ok?

edward: .

J: haha yeah….so were gonna go to my room now…..come on lets go

e: *glad to leave* yeah lets go right now

(The fam watches them go and its so awkward)

(in jacobs room)

J: so that was terrible but we’ll just stay up here as much as possible so that doesnt happen again

e: ugh that was so embarrassing… that was like when i introduced my ex gf to my family…. *realizes what he said* EW , not that WE are like that cus ewww gross *slaps jacob out of embarrassment*

a/n HAHAHAHAHA

J: *uncomfortable bc was slapped but also jealous of ex and sad ed don't like him like that* no man i get it….it happens all the time...cuz i bring so many chicks back here...not that we’re like that…..

e: yeah, obviously. *hand twitches in urge to slap him, but stops himself…. is upset because jacob brings back so many bitches and is jealous. so he goes to face the wall in anger* i need to ….. do./.. my chemistry homework

J: yeah whatever...i gotta do stuff too,,,,,im really busy….*looks down*

e: *is doing the chemistry homework standing up and super fast cus he’s been to high school for over 100 years, mutters* this is so easy ugh

J: why are you even in school anyways like you could be anywhere why do you want to learn the same shit over and over again

e: ………..Well if you woudl really like to know, it’s not the same thing over and over again. the school system has changed a lot since 1918 so it is actually pretty refreshing. i also like seeing how the trends change but are basically the same so yeah i do enjoy going to school, i don’t wanna work everyday because that’s different everyday plus school is easy for me and i get so many bitches cus im sexy.

J: yeah thats cool i guess *mad bc he gets so man bitches* but like if you get so many bitches...where are they???? Why do you hangout with me all the time???

e: *slaps jacob* BECAUSE IF WE ARENT CLOSE TOGETHER WE WILL FUCKING DIE DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE CURSE OR SOMETHING

J: THE CURSE DOESN’T STOP YOU FROM HAVING BITCHES THO…..ITS ALMOST LIKE UR A FUCKING LIAR

e: *gasps, backhand slap now* OF COURSE I HAVE BITCHES. DID YOU FORGET I CAN READ MINDS. EVEN TEACHERS WANT ME. AND I KNOW THAT YOU DID TOO, AT one ponitn… .gerkgorjgopjfpwjgwprjgpwojgwo *slaps jacob again so he can’t see that edward is blushing*

J: yeah i did like you…….*turns away so edward doesnt see him cry*

e: *not even looking in his direction cause he’s embarrassed* um. ….. *stomach growl*.... oh….

J: oh do you need some fucking blood or something

e: *disgusted that he is being perceived* ugh. im a vegetarian, so i need to…. go hunting… probably

(but they on sacred land or smthn)

J: first of all thats not what vegetarian means idiot and second of all you cant fucking hunt here its sacred and so are all the animals that live here….so  now what???

e: *rolls eyes and is for sure thinking racist things* ugh. lemme call alice maybe she can bring me some stored blood… *calls but there’s no service* what the FUCK…. i hate this place… lemme amazon prime some blood…

J: oh sorry you cant ubereats your fucking blood...and youre so addicted to your phone...maybe try living in the moment lke the rest of the world

e: *zones out for a second at the mention of ike aka the character someone in kelvin yo’s story plays in super smash bros, then jolts back to reality* i am living in the moment. you know whats happening in this moment? im fucking hungry bruh and i need blood. so u better get me some before i fucking start feeding and then ur dads gonna be mad

J: you. Cant. feed. Here. why is that so hard to understand….lets just fucking leave and you can go hunt or whatever

e: *eyes flash with anger and turn whatever the colour is when they are hungry* im. hungry. NOW. *starts doing whatever hungry vampires do like intense breathing*

J: dude…..calm down….*nervous*....we’ll get you some blood or whatever *backs into a wall*

e: don’t tell me to fucking calm down *supa hungry rn, then attacks jacob by slamming him OUT of the wall, yeah u read that right, the wall is broken now how sad* GIMME BLOODDDDDD *edward tries to bite jacob*

J: BRUH U BROKE MY FUKING HOUSE…..AND I DON'T HAVE BLOOD IM A FUCKING VAMPIRE TOO REMEBER??????? I CANT HELP U

e: *too hangry to hear him, bites into jacob’s neck with his fangs. out of his neck comes this disgusting sloshy black thing cus he no have blood* UGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS YOU TASTE DISGUSTING *spits it out onto the grass, then sees its black and calms down* waht the fuck………… *looks at broken wlal* huh….

J: oh are you back now???? Yeah i don't have fucking blood and you tried to kill me and my house….what the fuck man it always comes down to you killing me….i don't think i can do this anymore……

e: …….look. it’s not my fault. honestly you’re exaggerating things. i was hungry. i can’t help it and you should have known better than to be around me. and im still hungry. so.

J: wow so we’re victim blaming now????? No man i said i cant do this…..you never think about me

e: *rolls eyes uncomfortably, then notices jacob’s neck is still bleeding* well. im not. victim blaming. but. you’re still. bleeding. so  my vampircal saliva is actually. healing . u.m . proertries. so umeme asmdaosmdsomaodmw. let. me . help . uoi. iok omo kok

a/n you ok man? i told u im losing brain cels

J: how can i trust you????? Everytime i trust you i die…….

e: *rolls eyes and then puts his hand on jacob’s face (like his face not the side of it)* just let . me . do my. fucking job *licks him*

J: *flinches but gives in* youre so fucking gay...if you wanted to makeout you could have jjust said so...i would have said no tho

e: *slams jacob’s head into the ground so powerfully that there is a jacob shaped crater in the ground* IM FUCKING HEALING YOU. *the bite mark has healed, slams jacob into the ground again* YOU STUPID FUCK IM NOT GAY

J: *dies*

e: *mad, spits on the ground next to jacob* i know ur not fucking dead. ur a vampire and a werewolf for fucks sake. get up.

J: *still dead*

e: you can’t just use the dead card everytime u want me to be nice to you. cause i wont. i literally wont.

J: *just a fucking corpse*

e: *stares at his dead body for a bit.* jacob. get the fuck up.

J: *not alive*

e: *hears billy’s wheelchair coming up* spotlight monolgoeu: well fuck. i can’t let him see i just killed his son for the third time. fuckfuckfuck what can i do i don’t have time to hide the body so… so ….. ok well hes a corpse and im a corpse too so this won’t be that weird

BREAKOUT ROOM ENDNEDINDENIEI TO BE CONTINUED YEAH RIGHTAHHAHAHHA JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART  HOW EXCITING FOR TOMROW YES I CANNOT WAIT

*continuing edward monologue*

e: yeah … its totally not weird…. its cause i because because because because because because because because i need a cover thats why im doing totally not gay *kisses jacob*

(billy comes out from behind the house)

J: *obviously wasnt dead, wakes up, kisses edward back* oh hey dad

Billy: *supportive of his gay son* hey i thought i heard a fight *looks up* what the fuck happened to the wall

e: *sees jacob isn’t dead anymore, thinks that his kiss brought him back to life like in snow white, shocked* …….hhhh…….. wall?

J: sorry i don't know how that happened shits crazy ya know

Billy: *nods wisely* i do know…...well you boys have fun *leaves*

e: *stares at jacob in shock* …..do you….. remember… what happened before u died?

J: *does but wants to fuck with edward* wh….what? i…...i...d..died??????

e: *rolls eyes* yeah u fucking did. i brought u back though.

J: how…..???

e: ugh *hits him* obviously i just bit you to … bring u back.. to life….

J: so im already a vampire…...but now youve made me a double vampire??? Or does it cancel out and im human????

e: i dont fucking know. i— *remembers the curse and hopes jacob does not bring it up because the curse should double since jacob is double vampire* but don’t worry about the curse. obviosuyl .

J: oh does it double now that im a double vampire???

e: NO. and anyways. im still fucking hungry. so. be a good host and get me some mf food

J: yeah just let me check my fridge for some fucking blood…...idiot…..lets go somewhere so u can be a fake vegetarian

e: hmph. well let’s see if u can keep up. *runs away at vampire speed into the woods*

J: *turns into wolf and uses wolf and vampire speed and follows* awoooooooo

(the curse not acting up meaning theyre within 20m of each other)

e: *looks behind and sees jacob can keep up* slowpoke

ROB ENTERED MY CHAT YA SAME LOL ANYWAYS

J: who tf u callin slow *runs so fast that he almost next to edward*

e: *getting tired cus he is low on blood therefore energy* grrrrrrr

J: look we’re off sacred ground now go catch a deer or something

e: . im tired. u get something for me.

J: so now im ur personal chef?????? No get ur own shit

e: ive killed u three times already. dont make it a fourth.

J: *mumbles* whatever *leaves and smirks knowing he only actually died once* *gets a fucking deer or some

BREAKOUT ENDED????????? Ing WTF WHY WHO CARES LETS CONTINUE BRUH WHAT IS GOING ON DID U HEAR ERIC AND TINA THAT WAS SO AWKWARD I HATE THIS CLASS SO MUCH LILY LTIERALY WHAT BURH i do npt ccare at all

k anyways continue

J; here take this eat up

a/n: god i forgot how fucking ugky tina’s voice is fucking right

e: *bites into the deer, drinking the blood and makes direct eye contact w jacob* nomnomnom

J: feel better now?

e: *disgusted and spits blood at jacob’s feet* nomnomnomnom

J: *looks away cuz this is gross* the shit i do for u……

e: *slurps disgustingly* nomnomnom nom nOMnomON griwjodk

a/n wait lets hope we together obviously no omfg these bitches are talking im not speaking to u im puttig yall on mute good

J: *vomits cuz the noises r gross* could u be a little more quiet?????

e: *puts down the deer* dont fucking vomit in front of me and my food

J: your food is so much more disgusting than my vomit

e: then don’t look at me. *keeps drinking*

J: *rolls eyes*......

e: nomnomnomnom… *puts down again* i said dont fucking look at me.

J: *says nothing but keeps looking*

e: *slurp* u want some then?

J: absolutely not

e: *rolls eyes* i know ur a carnivore, come here

J: nah i don't want that shit youve fuccking destroyed it its disgusting

e: *the deer isnt destroyed like literally one puncture, but edward gets mad at the accusation, so he rips off the backlegs of the deer* i know u want some *throws the legs at jacob*

(catch it with ur mouth PLS Like a wolf)

a/n LMAO like throw drink but then u swallow it all dark blue hell post  YES

J: *catches it with his mouth perfectly while making intense eye contact* …..

e: fucking mutt…. *goes back to drinking the blood* nomnomnomnomnom

J: *eats deer leg like it chicken wing* this shit isnt even good….

e: ur the one who hunted it.

J: whatever tommorow we going to mcdicks

e: what the fucks a mcdicks

J: bro…….youve never had a shit burger……..

e: why would i eat shit … in a burger…

J: of course your small mind could never understand….ugh

e: *spits blood in a perfect arch that lands right on jacobs shirt* dont call me small minded ever again

J: dude what the fuck…..and ill call u what i want

e: *finished drinking* no the fuck u won’t. *gestures to deer* u gonna eat my leftovers or what

J: i will not...and what the fuck r u gonna do about it???

e: do about what

J: me calling you small minded idiot

e: *slaps him* shut the fuck up

J: *turns the tables and slaps edward* it doesnt feel so good huh???

a’=./n: HAHAHAHHA

e: *holds his face in shock* WHHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT????????????? MY VAMPIRE HAND DOESNT HURT AS MUCH U FUCKING IDIOT

J: yeah ok but i slapped you once and youve slapped me at least a billion times so it adds up….funny how you can give it but not take it….weak…

e: *thinks about how he could say a few things about that last phrase but doesn’t* i’ve literally killed u so many fucking times *raises fist* i will do it again…..

J: *steps closer* do it then

e: why… the fuck … do you ALWAYS provoke me… kNOWING you will die? *pushes him back*

J: because i know you need an excuse to make out with me every once and awhile *smirks*

e: *gasp* WHAT THE FUFK? HOW DID U KNOW THAT *HITS HIM IN THE FACE*

J: bro you didnt think i was actually dead did you…...i thought you would have known better by now *still smirking*

e: *speechless and wishes he could use his mindpowers on jacob but it doesnt work* ………..

J: yeah so maybe you should try being nicer

e: absolutely not. once this month is over im moving to korea

BREAKOUT ROMM ENDINGNOOOOOOOO AKWAYDS WHEN IT GETS GOOD I KNOW RIGHT UGH ITS OK BUT YEAH THERE NEEDS TO BE AN EMOTIAONL CONNECTION SOON BEFOREMARRIAGE OH OF COURSE I CANT WAIT WE WILL WORK MORE TMRW NO SATUDAY MONDAY WOOOOWOOOO I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE A FILM OF THIS YESSSSSSS MONDAY OK HAHAHA

e: *continued* and im never speaking to u again.

J: yeah right you always say that shit…..but then you come crawling back

e: *rolls eyes* i’ve literally never done that. ur schizophrenia’s acting up because weve never had any fucking relationship before this……. i DONT LIKE YOU

J: uh huh but you always bring me back to life and make out with my corpse so what does that mean???

e: first of all, WE ARE BOTH CORPSES. so its not weird. second, i dont wanna get in trouble for killing a werewolf. so thats that. *turns away and starts walking back to the house but its the wrong direction*

J: yeah thats a likely story…….you know thats not the way home right…*smirks*

e: obviously ….. i was tricking u….. *goes the other way*

J: *rolls eyes and still smirks* so what do you wanna do when we get home

e: nothing *hes still going the wrong way but this time a different wrong*

J: well whatever….how long are you planning on going the wrong way before you ask me for help?

e: buddy.. this is the right way *shows map on phone*

(............ how can this be??????? ARE THEY IN a diffeernte realm)

a/n LMSOAAIOOAAO faerie realm

J: no i swear……..it……*turns in a circle confused* we definitely came from………

e: so what the fucks going on? is this one of ur stupid pranks bc ur native or whatever

J: can you stop being racist for two seconds this is weird….whatever maybe i messed up….lets just follow your phone…

(they follow the directions on the phone but they find that theyre just going in circles eneding up back to the dead dear…. a strange mist is rising*

e: uh…………….. what the fucks going on……….

J: uhhhhhh…….this has never happened before…...what the fuck do we do,....

e: wait. do u hear that……..

(from in the mist they hear something coming……………. its this really hot woman coming out, her name……. bella swan)

bella: …… *in sexy voice* hello boys

a/n GYDSUFGEYORGFBOREW

J: uh…..who the fuck are you….

b: *tosses her head back and laughs, long luscious dark locks of dark of hair of brown falling behind her, then opens her blue? brown? idk her orb colour and stares at them…. she notices edward’s extremely strong gay aura so doesnt go to him. looks at jacob* im bella. bella swan…. youre in my swamp….

J: ok…...but we’re lost...so could you help us out….?

e: *uncomfotable.*

bela: hahhahahah… of course…. *walks up to jacob and touches his face* but the thing is….. humans who come into my territory….. must …… how tf do i say this….. they need to gift me something…. or else u are cursed to work as my servant forever.

J: well we’re not human...hes a vampire and im half werewolf half double vampire…..so that wont apply to us right??

b: *gasps*..... HAHAHAHAHAHHA…… you truly don’t know who i am? bella swan (shes part swan ig) collects HALF WEREWOLF HALF DOUBLE VAMPIRE boys……. jacob….. *licks lips* you will be my prize

e: hhhhhhhhhh

J: so like….if i fuck you….can you tell us how to get home??

bella: *slaps him across the face in the same way that edward does* FUCK ME? hahahahha you’re fucking stupid. i knew it. all of u are. i don’t want u like that buddy, i need to use ur dna to make skins. *grabs him and tries to bring him into the mist*

e: wait…. u can’t

bella: y?

e: um……. bc….

J: *is kind of turned on bc bella slapped him like edward and pavlovs dogs ya know* ……….

e: *was about to say to bella that she cant take jacob, but then realizes he has no say in what jacob can or can’t do…. plus… jacob looks really happy with bella….. but still…. he can’t just let jacob get fucking killed again… even if he’s into it* um. bella. maybe? um u could take me as well?

b: no ur fucking gay i don’t want u. jacob wants to come w me , right jakey? (how does she know his name?)

J: *dream like* yeah…….wait…...did i tell you my name?

bella: *eyes widening in delight* NOOOOOO YOU DIDNT!!!!! LUCKY GUESS!!!!! NOW THAT I KNOW UR NAME……. *turns to edward* u know what happens when fairies know ur name right? *smirks* e

e: *also kind of into that smirk bc pavlovian response* wait… no… JACOB U IDIOT

bella: i feel some homosexual tension between yall …. how about this *curses jacob so that he is like idk evil and will kill edward so then bella wont have to fight him and then can kill jacob le8ter*

J: *eyes rolll back into head like tik tok boy* *lunges at edward* ……

(famous last words by mcr starts playing straight from bella’s mouth for some background music) a/n YESSSSSS

e: *dodges jacob* JACOB. STOP SNAP OUT OF IT

J: …………*jumps at edward again*

e: *barely dodges his snapping jaws*

(in the background …….but can I SPEAK is it hard understanding…….. im incompletel)

e: BNELLA STOP PLEASEEEE

J: *keeps jumping at edward with impossible amounts of force and energy* ……

(a love that’s so demanding…………. IEIODAIOJEWIOADJIOA WHWYY cann ii get WEAKK!!!! I AM NOT AFRAID OFtikwpoerkwopk)

e: *doesn’t want to use force to stop jaconn, but he’s forced to* jacob *does the thing whjere girls try to stop the guy from fighting* jacob its me! stop!!!!!!!!

bella: omg so cringe stop pls

J: *stops for a second but then goes back to fighting* ……

(awake and unafraid asleep)

e: *gets scratched by his werewolf claws, stares at the blood then gets mad* JACOB U STUPID FUCKING MUTT LOOK WHAT U DID TO MY PERFECT SKIN *restrains him with both arms*

J: *when yelled at fully stops but then shakes head and goes back to rage* …..

b: *notices that jacob stopped* omg… wtf *curses him stronger*

e: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

(the song is now… hmmm….. u decide… nanananananaanana LOL ok)

J: *goes at edward so hard knocks him over*........

e: hmmmm,......  jacob i don’t wanna fight u STOP

(na na na na so many security sto every enemy)

J: *stops for half a second blink and youll miss it but then goes back with even more anger*..

e: *thinking: wtf i do’? i cant fight bella to stop him cus then itll be 2 v 1 ./../….///.. .wait…. * *remmebres jacob;’s expression when bella slapped him,..... what if i…. what if* (jacob comes at him again but edward waits UNTIL he is close enough adn then slaps him across the face extremely hard that like he slams into a tree behind him* U STUPID FUCKING DOG

j:  *slides down tree and colapses on the ground….almost unconsiodusio* …….e…..edward….

(na na na is over and fades slowly bc  bella closes her mouth)

b: waht the fucking fukc did u fucking do u stupid sparkly gay boy????///// THAT WAS MY NEXT SKIN

e: *ignores her and goes to jacob* jacob…… r u ok…

J: *opens eyes slowly* ye….yeah…..i *inhales sharply bc pain or smth* im good…..

e: *checks him for wounds*

bella: *comes up behind edward and grabs him by the head then yeets him backwards* I SAID THATS MY SKIN STAY AWAY FROM him

J: EDWARD *tries to get up to fight her but stumbles*

b: stay down. that’s an order u dog

e: *comes back running* NYAHHHHHHHH

(bela and edward engage in a super epic battle u can imagine it however u want ok…..)

J: ………..

(they r far away enough that jacob can’t hear them….)

b: bro why r u fighting so hard to save ur friend or is that even a friend

e: *blushes* bro not right now

b: no seriously

e: …..

b: *thinking oh….* ew so yall r like that?

e: ….

b: *sigh* fine… u can have him… but under one condition

(what is this condition lemme think)

b: welcome to paradise…. dun dun dun dundu ndund a gunshot rings at the station………… ok i found it: u owe me ur firstborn child

e: ok (?)

(that’s how bella gets renesmee u decide how that happens)

e: *goes back to jacob* helo

J: are you ok…….what went down??????

e: nothing we totally didnt like f u ck or anything wtf why would u even ask that

J: *thinks wtf did they fuck….get kinda jealoudssss* oh…...so can we leave??

(the mist rises)

e: ok…. can you even walk?

J: yeah im fine *tries to stand but winces and leans against tree*

e: *is worried, but rolls eyes anyway* le,me call an uber

BREKAOUT ROOOM OVER NONOOOOOOOO ITS OK WE FINISHED THIS ARC TODAY WAS SO GOOD ABSOLUTELY BRILLAITN AS USUAL WE ARE AT 840 PERIODS LMAOAAAOOOO GOOD UGH HOW AMAZING IM EXCITED TO REREAD IT TOMOROW YESSS ME FUCKING TOO GAHAHAH

a/n Are they waiting for the uber or at home alreafy? first of all, use a/n, second up to u

(jacobs room)

J: ok im fine stop worrying  

(the whole werewolf clan is surrounding jacob who is lying on his bed, edward is standing facing the corner awkwardly and covering his nose)

biylly: No son. you were attacked by some fucking fairyand  i dont mean him *points to edward* like this is serious shit…. we should call a doctor… but who….

e: *quietly*……. i know… a doctor

a/n laksaodjjefiureyueryhu

J: who…….

e: *turns to face the gang, wich includes seth who i thnk is sexy* um……. carlisle…

J: wait your dad….leader of your incest clan….went to med school???

e: *hand twitches wanting to slap him, but can’t do so in front of his family, so restrains himself* ahem. yes. and we’re not an incest clan.

Billy: i aint bringing you to no vampire doctor we have to find someone else

J: no…..its ok…..i don't even need a doctor….

seth: *is a niner* dude… ur not even okl…. (what were his injuries again?) ur like body is like broken in multiple places…. but. *glares at edward* we can’t have more of Them in here……

e: *rolls eyes at seth* so what the fuck do u propose we do huh niner

seth: ……………… well if u really wanna know, i took grade 9 biology and also first aid….. i’m basically a doctor

a/n i really forget what happened to jacob but lets pretend hes basically dying (when isnt he)

J: uh no thanks seth…..really guys im ok….ive had worse….at least im alive…….

e: *still wants to slap him so bad but cant so instead slaps himself*

billy: wtf… *back to jacob* listen son. ur literally fukcing dying *gets emotional now* ….. we need to do something… *looks at seth* son… *(seth isn’t his son?) will u treat him?

seth: *smirks* ya of course billy…. *turns to jacob* listen ….. we can’t have u dying here…. us alphas need to look out for each other.

J; uhhhhhhhhh well like im kind of more beta…….but…...are you sure you know what youre doing????

billy: JACOB (does he have  a middle name) BLACK NEVER CALL URSELF A BETA EVER A FUCKING GAIN THE BLAHJBLAHBLAH TRIBE HAS BLAHDDBASBDOISDHIAOSJDIASJAJ …..

seth: yea h jacob ur definitely an a**a wtf ok . so first i need to see ur injuries…. where r u hurt?

J: basically everywhere…..she kind of fucked me up….but its cool

e: *still doesn’t know what to do so goes back to facing the wall*

seth: okay well… im gonna need u to like… ahem…. u know…. .disrobe…

J: oh...yeahok….*glances at edward who is still facing the wall**starts to take off shirt revealing 12 pack abs*

a;/n: lMFAO

(collective gasp as they see jacob’s injuries)

e: *begins slamming his head into the wall*

billy: oh my god son. …… this is horrible

seth: alright uhhhhhhhh *is overwhelmed* um …. ,... well u have… um ….  ur bleeding… and ur ribs are briken… so i gusss…… polysporin? edward can u pass it to me

e: *still staring at the wall* no

J: dude why are you always so difficult….plus after seth heals me hes gonna have to check you for a concussionos…..wtf r u doing????

e: *rolls eyes and turns around, but hes hit his head on the wall so hard that blood is dripping from his head into his eyes, blinding him (da blood from da dear ofc* he doesn’t need to fucking heal me. and i’ll get the polysporin. where is it?

J: in the bathroom i think…...down the hall to the left…

e: *goes to get it, blindly obviously and yeah he got it* *hands the polysporin to who he thinks is seth but he can’t actually see who he’s handing it to*

J: man are you ok??? Like maybe sit down for a bit…...thats not seth thats my dad

e: *angirly moves so hes handing it to seth, but in the process slaps seth in the face maybe not so accidentlly*

s: OH my fucking GOd  *mutters* i fucking hate vampires stupid fucks *begins putting polysporin on jacob*

J: uhhhhh is this gonna work…..like my ribs are broken...maybe we should call edwards dad….*looks down knowing they gonna be mad at the idea*

e: *has reverted to sitting in the corner staring at the wall blindly so not actually staring ig*

billy: shut the fuck up jacob. seth is doing an awesome job. looks better already kid

seth: *smirks, looking in edward’s direction* yeah im doing awesome

J: but like…….whatever….if youre done leave edward and i alone for a second…

seth: *finishes bandagnig jacob up* ok. .. but if u need anything… .anythng,... just call ok buddy?

billy: *leaves*

J: so i think i need a real doctor now

s: no u don’t im all u need *leaves*

J: i definitely need a real doctor now…..can you call your dad?

e: he’s not my dad…. and i cant.

J: bruh why not u said u would earlier

e: *can’t really remember due to insane brain damage* uh…… well he’s in italy now. so . ……….. i mean… yeah.

J: dude come here let me see your head

e: no

J: not in a gay way in a im actually worried about your health way

e: *doesn’t actually know where he is in the room bc he refuses to wipe the blood from his eyes* um………………. fine….. *starts walking then trips on jacob’s textbook* wtf….

J: come here sit down *reaches over and grabs his arm guiding him to the bed* here dumbass *wipes blood away from his eyes* does it hurt really bad??

e: *flatly* im a vampire . nothing hurts me. *looks at his bandagings * what the fuck did he do. *rolls eyes* this is unacceptable… *under his breath* stupid dumb fucking niner idiot who fcuckgirn ais trying to one up me i kwjeoijfdoijdeow grrr

J: sorry i didnt hear that last part whats up?

e: oh my god just stfu and *tyler tehecreator voice* elt me do what i need to fucking do *violently rips his bandages off* lemme do it properly because carlisle is in….. china… like i siad

J: uh you said he was in like france or something...also this fucking hurts can you stop being so angry???

e: *no reply. begins piecing his ribs back together w surgical tools he pulled from his pocket* dont move

J: yeah whatever…...why do you have all this shit….nerd…

e: *bc jacob’s ribs were literally sepeareted from what is it called in the centre of the ribs forgot, but his heart is exposed* stfu…. why is ur heart still beating……. *grabs his beating heart*

J: bro what the fuck….don't do that whats wrong with you….maybe bc im still half werewolf???? idk…

e: *eyes change colour….. he goes very still*

(they are both covered in jacob;s blood)

J: uhhhhhhhh edward…..youre scaring me man…...maybe you should go...or just say something please…

e: * eyes r still that whatever colour, but goes back to work silently, and releases the heart* ………………………….. *finishes and starts sewing the skin back up, then looks jacob in the eyes* u rlly should stop begging me bruh,........ it onlymakes me hungrier

J: oh uuhhhhhh sorry????

e: *bandages are finished, assess his work….* ugh finally ur better…… *slaps him* ive been waiting to do that

J: dude wtf…..why are you like this

e: ………….. well i need to do my english project if u don’t mind *goes to face the wall and closes his eyes*..... ……… …

J: you know you can like sit down right…..you don't have to stand t=in the corner

e: *sighs audibly then moves backwards with his eyes still closed and sits on the corner of jacob’s bed but he’s basically just hovering over it*

J: youre so fucking dramatic….youre stuck with me for like two weeks or something so you should probably get used to being around me

e: *opens his eyes and glares at jacob* it’s one month first of all. and i don’t want to get used to you. you fucking stink and ur covered in blood.

J: *smirks* i thouht you liked blood...and you smell like shit too you know

BREAKOUIT ROROM ENDINGUIRNGTRIGNT NOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK UAK WHATS COMING NEXT EW IT WAS ME AND ROB FOR A SECOND EW OMG BRO WE BE WRITING 1K WORDS PER DAY BRUHHHHH OUR FIUCKING POWER ITS SO AMAZING

e: *smells himself* no i dont’ smell like i shit

J: *smirks* you do to me...ugly vampire smell

e: you really should respect me more…. im the one who fixed ur fucking ribs not like seth who used fucking POLYSPORIN

J: its ok….you don't need to be jealous of seth…..i don't like him like that

e: what the fuck>>??? im not jealous of him i literally never said that…… isn’t he ur fucking brother?

a/n hes not lmao edward doesn tknow that

J: wtf????? U thot he was my brother???? Not all native american werewolves are related asshole

e: yall arent….. then why tf are yall in the same tribe huh riddle me that

J: i……...we….how do you think tribes work?????

e: u tell me

a/n I GOT JUMPSCARED BY ROBS VOICE SO HARD LMAO  LOL CAN HE STFU IDC AT ALL ME TOO YALL SHUT UP i straight up dont care this sucksnot interested in yalls feedback for us stfu with the “no one is left out” GUESS WHAT U WILL BE LEFT OUT IN LIFE THATS HOW IT IS ESPECIALLY IF UR FUCKING UGLY LIKE SOME OF YALL stfu with math bulshit 6 is divided by 4 simply will it to be TINA STFU LOL YES HAHAHA we will excluse ourselves “andie doesnt count” how dare u sigh there is no feedback they could possibly give us LMAO RIGHT ugh fuck this and i don't need yall yall can be a group if u wanna we always do anyways yall back to work stfu

J: we….just like hangout…...we aren’t related…….at all……

e: ……….oh……………………………………. well i had no idea thats how tribes work

J: you could have just asked…..

e: *doesn’t reply and goes back to work on his english project*

J: *rolls eyes* youre so fucking lame can u not be a nerd for 5 minutes???

e: *throws pencil like a dart and it sticks in jacobs forehead* LITERALLY WTF DO U WANT ME TO DO HUH. I DONT WANNA FUCKING BE HERE. BUT WE CANT GO OUTSIDE CUS ITS NIGHT (flashbacK: andrew’s curfew for who fucking knows why)

J: *dies*

e: *rolls eyes* i literally know ur not dead cus the curse is still on

J: *still dead*

e: *sighs* ……. * thinks about fall out boy specifically how whats his name never eununciates anything* helloooooooooooooo wake tf up ugly

J: *dead*

e: this aint a scene its a godamn ahms rahce , like why does he say it like that

J: idk man but its a banger tho

e: disagree its so fcuking annoinyg. ahms rahce ahms ahms and like when he says down he doesnt even say down its like dawhhhh

J: i mean yeah but its a classic….and his voice….iconic….

e: *shrugs* yeah ur right…. you know………………. back in the 60s i used to be in a band…

J: oh shit deadasss? Were yall any good????

e: *slaps his uninjured leg* obvioisl;y we were fucking good…. we were really popular too…. *sigh* i had so many bitches

J: *mad kind of bc bitches* well if u were so popular would i know any of your songs??? What was the band called???

e: ……….well ….. *pulls out guitar and drum kit and like every instrument and begins playing them* it goes alittle like this….. here comes the sun dododododood here comes the sun … .

a/n IM CRYING

J: wtf that shits sucks….ive literally never heard that before

e: *rolls eyes* obviously it sucks now , but back in the segragation days,,,,,,, this shit was spectuacualr.. ….. and btw, this is the BEATLES … which by the way,,,,,, i was in

J: wtf i have never heard of yall….u named ur band after a bug thats so weird…..ur shit is trash man

e: *slaps him but this time on the face* shtut he fuck up and stop talking shit about my band… ive literally never seen u do anything of worth in ur what…. how fucking old are u,.... like 16 years of life

J: i get so many bitches u would not believe

e: *rolsl eyes* LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL……. u know i can read everyone’s minds right? everyone  and i mean everyone wants me at school….. like no one is thinking about u

J: *angry* maybe thats true but they only want u bc they think ur hot….if they actually got to know u no one and i mean no one would ever even look at you….youre disgusting and terrible and honestly not even that hot up close

e: *rolls eyes* listen old sport =..... when ur my age…. and also immortal… and sexy….. relationships with humans dont fucking matter. i dont need them to like me, cus guess what ? they re gonna fucking die anyways or ill proabbly eat them… they just need to think im hot. and by the way, i am fucking hot up close….. *tilts his head to remind jacob of their first talking or whatever encounter at edward’s house…….*

J: *angerily silent*.......

e: *starts laughing* like……..  i didnt even do anything and u were like….. .ahahahhahahahahhahahah

J; *still silent* …………………….

(momentarily silence, until edward notices his hands are still really bloody… )

e: *to himself* ugh…. this is gross……. *starts licking the blood off his hands* mmmmm

J: *makes disgusted face but still doesnt say anything*........

e: *finishes cleaning his hands and wipes it on jacob’s sheets* hmmm….. *checks phone* holy shit my amazon order is here…..

J: *mumbles* go get it then……

e: *goes to the downstairs or whatever and it should be ok bc its within like 20m but as soon as he gets to jacob’s door they both feel intense pain* wtf……… im not….. even…… 20m…. away …. from u ….

J: …...stupid….double….vampire...shit…..

e: ….. *comes closer to esase the pain* ugh…. im so…. fukcing… mad… u sfuckign idit…… *punches hole in jacob’s wall.* …. ok u need to come with me downstairs so i can get my package

J: i literally cant fucking walk selfish idiot

e: grrr.r…… i need…. my mf.../.. amazon prime bed thing……… fine…. *throws jacob over his shoulder* u dont need to walk

J: ahhhh wtf...ur so fucking weird...this is gay man

e: its literally not so stfu *goes downstairs to get his package*

(billy and other wolf members: :|

J: what the fuck is wrong with u u could have gotten someone to bring it p for u wtf

e: *rolls eyes and bends to get the package* …. i have amazon prime^2,,,,,, the package will explode if it doesnt recognize my fingerprint *scans his fingerprint* and my eyeball *scans eyeball and gets package to go upstairs*

J: i hate rich people so fucking much what is wrong with you

e: *throws jacob back onto his bed and rips open the package with his vampire teeth* fuckign finally

J: ok can we get some fucking sleep now???? This day has been way too much

e: *looks him up and down* yeah for u maybe…. vampires dont even need sleep *sets up bed, its literally huge and takes up most of jacobs room*

J: THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED A BED FOR THEN?????????

e: *slaps him* stop fuckign questioning me…. i need it to relax in…. and watch tik toks…

J: what the fuck….you know what i don't care…..good fucking night….

e: *doesn’t reply and gets settled in his huge bed and opens tik tok and watches them at high volume no headphones*

J: BRUH CAN U GET SOME FUCKING HEADPHONES WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU e: *looks up to jacob across the room* i forgot them at home… holdup lkemme amazon prime some new ones

J: bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just like turn the volume down

e: *exhales through nose at a funny tiktok and doesn’t hear jacob*

J: what. the . fuck. *puts pillow over head and tried to sleep*

e: *is now standing on his bed attempting to learn a tik tok dance but hes super tall so his head keeps slamming against the ceiling* renegade rengage

BREAKOUT ROROMRM ENDEIDN STOP NMITERUPTTING MY FUCKING SETENCE I KNOW LOL DID BUT THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYnegade reennegadge

Sorry bro ok bye

(now is morning)

e: *been watching tik toks all night long*

J: *has not slept at all* bruhhhhhhhhhh

e: *has learned every dance possible, now is 2nd after charli damelio in popularity* stfu im working

J: i cant do this…….we need to figure something else out…….

e: *puts his phone downe for the first time in hours* *sighs* …….. jacob,.... u need to understand this…… *sad music begins to play, lights down, spotlight on edward* *ewdward looks out the window wistfully* im….. im a father  now jacob….. i dont have time to “figure things out”...... fatherhood was thrown into my life….

J: wtf…��.u r literallykt not in ur childs life at al…...do u even pay child support…..rich bitch…...ur not a father…...u just fucked a girl…….

e: *rolls eyes* first of all, she’s half vamp half faerie like she literally doesnt need money to livem, second that wasn’t just any girl that was bella swan………. i feel terribly guilty jacob,...... i should be in rmeumememeueneneseeeses’s life

J: bruh…...so ur like in love with bella now????? And wtf…….what r u gonna do raise her now???? Nah i don wanna be part of this

e: dude… im not in love with her… it’s just my duty as a father………. And who said ur gonna be a part of this? ……… *thinks* maybe i should get married to her?

J: u literally just said she don't need u so why u acting different???? Also im gonna have to be a part of this bc we cannot be more than 10m apart idiot

e: that’s literally temporary………………………………..

J: oh so ur just gonna wait til this is over….shes gonna hate u

e: *slaps him* u don’t know that…… plus it’ll be a good way to pass a couple centuries…..

J: bro but i DO know that….my mom left us or died or sometihng…..and like….if she came back into my life now….id hate her……

e: yeah but ur a fucking werewofl us vampires and feareires dont think like that….. why are u so against this?

J: honestly do whatever u want……...ill be fine as long as youre away from me……

e: well…….. good… glad we’re on the same page *goes back to his bed to watch tiktoks*

J: *sighs and lies on bed staring at the ceiling* *thinks* this is probably a good thing….edward has brought me nothing but pain….

e: *doesn’t scroll on the tiktok whe’s watching so the sound keeps playing over and over again and hes thinking……: why….. do i feel so guilty? i thought it was about renesueme but…………... *out loud* uh. /…… .were we supposed to um go to mclonad’s or something?

J:.......oh yeah….i guess…..if you wanted to….

e: *suddenly annoyed* it was ur fucking idea to go……….

J: bro whatever chill…..lets go then….

e: ok……. like we dont have to go if u dont want to…. its just u mentioned it…..

J: no like we can go….anythings better than hunting with u….

e: ok but do you want to go or u just saying that cus then its a fucking waste of time

J: OH MY GOD LETS JUST GO

e: *slaps him* dont use that attitude with me ,...... u fucking dog

J: *rolls eyes* what the fuck ever…..ur driving

e: i didn’t bring my car with me stupid…….

J: well what the fuck r we gonna do then?????????

e: …… dont u have a car or smthn……. or we could run there

J: im poor remember????? And im also still injured>>>so like wtf now

e: (flashback: new moon, jacob literally has a motorcycle) …./…. dont u have a motorcycle or a truck helllooooooooo

J: ur so fucking insensitive…….we had to sell those to buy groceries…….fuck you…..

e: *under his breath* i guess no sharing motorcycle drivigng…. *sigh* ok uber eatss?

J: yeah whatever…….oh wait….seth has a motorcycle i think….maybe we could ask to borrow it…..

e: *annnoyed* ew…. i dont wanna use seth’s motorcycle……

J: bruhhhhhhhhh y r  u always so fucking difficult

e: im not difficult bruh

J: u fucking r

e: fine. use fuckings seth’s motorycycle from him hes ugly anyway

J: alright sick

#twilight #Edward cullen #Jacob black #Bella swan #fanfiction #gay #lgbt

[lifetrader]

5 & 7 !!!! please give me ur insight mr freeman

5. Favorite Scene?

HHOOGUH UMUMUMMMMM

I REALLY LIKE THE ONE WHERE GORDON’S GOING DOWN THE LADDER AND COOMER’S LIKE TRYING TO HELP ND SAYS HE’LL CATCH GORDON AND WHEN GORDON GETS ALL THE WAY DOWN HE’S LIKE “I CAUGHT YOU! :)” THAT WAS PEAK WHOLESOME GRANDPA MOMENTS

i also um. [holds up all scenes of benrey flirting with gordon]

7. Favorite Line?

UHHH GOD I LOVE A LOT OF THEM LETS SEE. I’LL TRY TO DO A LINE FOR EACH OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS.....

Literally anything and everything Coomer says.... (Although the ending speech has a special place in my heart <3)

“Slower than molasses drips off a spoon!”

“Nut up or shut up!”

“They're no help to me sometimes! i love them, but they usually don't answer questions properly.”

(bonus before the long quote: “Delete that right fucking now!” from Darnold, and the fukcing “HELLO.” [door closes] “GOODBYE.” from forzen)

And ahem,

“hey. i KNEW this was gonna happen. im TELLING you- look, im… i like everything, im a great cool. i feel a good, but you make me angry! rememb- …no! you remember..? the first time we met… you wa- you walk in- im on my shift and you come in and you got a dick slip in your- in your HEV suit. and i tried- i tried to stop you… i tried to tell you! i was stopping you i was going ‘hey’. yo dick out but you didnt- i was tryna be nice… and then you were talkin’ to my friend, j-jefferemm and youre telling him like “awwww i dont have my passport BLEUH MNEEUGH” but… and… he was so upset he has anger issues i was gonna protect you from him we were- i was gonna be NICE to you. remember that?? no! that’s just my job! i-i mean, if there’s a dick- if, yknow, someones dick out on the job i gotta stop em. but like… you dont remember? no, no! like… the first time we met. what test? LISTEN i had a whole thing- g planned at the end of my shift, me and my friend… gonna go home, we were so close to clocking out, and then you show up, dick out ruining shit… and we’re- we were gonna go… …home, and play… ohigot playstation THREE we’ve both got playstation plus, one month… and… i got Heavenly Sword… new game out. Heavenly Sword… is NOT a rip-off of God of War. hap- happu- uhhh Heavenly Sword was going to be the new Halo for Sony. and it was gonna be GREAT. there was gonna… Heavenly Sword was gonna have DLC where you could have 60 people in one server! throwing fraaags… n shit. and you RUINED that! you RUINED that! and now i have to… go ask everyone at my job it’s embarrassing to ask for a free month of playstation plus cuz i couldnt go home and play with my friend. YOU KNOW HOW S- how sucks that is for me??? bro?! its REALLY annoying! and then i have to go home, and i- i load up Youtube Yownloader to look up Heavenly Sword videos cuz i cant DO IT because you RUINED it cuz i couldnt go to GameStop and get it from my friend Josh who’s the cashier. YOU WALKED IN WITH YOUR DICK OUT and ruined the whole night! My friends are here. These are the people I met online on when I had PlayStation Plus. SONY CEO JACK TRETTON SURVIVED a nuclear- a nuclear bomb! SONY CEO JACK TRETTON HIRED… a Nintendo CEO Reggie and they built a big… BOMB that was gonna go off… …but I saved the WORLD! so I didn’t- I didn’t have a big plan! I was sposed to be nice but you forced me to be BAAAAD so I gonna be baaad. friend. the- the- the- the big plot is slowly unraveling before our eyes look at this. BBBB. BBBBBB. WELCOME. AA AA AAAA. AAAAAA. BBB. BBBB. BBB. BBB. BBBBBB.“

#thank u tommy .... #clowntalk

[slcters]

 「 avan jogia. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 SLATER MALIH SAVALIA 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 LAW 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 OCTOBER 2018」and seems to be the 「 DELPHIC 」of the group.「 SLATER」is a「 SENIOR」 and seems to enjoy 「 WRITING & PLAYING MUSIC 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

TW:  CHEATING, ABANDONMENT, PORN MENTION, DEATH, DRUGS

Anyways lemme give you some info about my man and try to keep it as short ( I lied ) as possible I’ll have some wanted connections at the end so hit me up to plot cause I live for that :) 

NAME: SLATER MALIH SAVALIA AGE: 23 MAJOR: PRE- LAW SENIOR @ LEX POSITION: A DADDY HOBBIES: givin 0 Fucks, living life to the full, writing, being an PI on his dad, spiting his family n causing problems as a FUCK U. BORN: LONDON, ENGLAND. SEXUALITY: A truE WILD BISEXUAL :”)

BACKGROUND: 

So Slater was born in London, England however when he was younger he moved around a lot with his parents until they settled in LA. Mainly for his dads business and his mum had previously lived there too.

His mum was a travel writer which explains why they traveled a lot, his father runs a few escort agencies + brothels ( nevada only we do it legal here )  and also started up his own pornographic production company / film studio in LA. it would probably now be one of the biggest in the world.  ( think vivid entertainment meets brazzers ) u know FILTHY RICH SHIT.

Both his parents were obviously away quite a lot, his dad ran so many businesses and hmm was hands-on lets say but the household was pretty calm when he was fairly young. his mum was super attentive and loving and just such an amazing role model and always wanted to take him with her to show him the world when she had to leave. i think he definitely was a mummas boy.

at about 8/9 however would’ve been when things kind of came crashing down for him. he really caught his dad cheating on his mum w/ one of the porn stars he hired from the studio. His dad would’ve really asked him NOT to tell him mum because it would break their family up. obviously, slater was like terrified of the chance of losing his family so he just pretended nothing ever happened.

he was so conflicted because he was keeping this huge secret and he had so much guilt but he didn’t wanna be the one to ruin things. Like his dad basically used him as a cover like expecting him to lie for him for a long time. it would’ve really eaten away at him. like it would’ve not been a one-time thing, but slater was in denial for sure.

i think one day slater would’ve slipped up in one of his lies for his dad and his mum ended up fighting out what happened and it was such a mess. it would've led to their divorce and god that was.. SOO messy. they defs didnt have a prenup and like the custody.

I think lowkey he was miserable being with his dad, he had so much resentment and sadness there. he would’ve been okay being with his mum the whole time.

His dad was really the type of parent that would use his kids against each his ex wife like they would use slater to pass on messages and being like no u can’t have him for that day etc etc And not taken slater into consideration.

his dad though really tried his absolute best to bring his mum down which was sooo sad to see, like watching her get put through the ringer by his dad and she just became a bit of a shell of who she was, because he obviously had more than enough money to do it and didn’t want her to see a dime of it even tho he.. RLLY BE LIVING THE HIGH LIFE.

slater would’ve just been back and forth between them both up until he was about 15 when his mum, unfortunately, passed away due to drugs. which was SO UNEXPECTED.  i think there was definitely a lot more to it, like she definitely was self-medicating to help go through the still pending divorce. which would’ve lasted years. 

anyways losing his mum devastated slater because truly she was like a best friend to him, she was. he always enjoyed the weeks at his mums more than his dad and now he knew he’d be stuck there.

he fights a lot with his dad still about everything that happened and what he did, he blames him for it and putting a LITERAL KID in the middle.

anyways though since the separation his dad had like a myriad of “ girlfriends” around who were probably all young enough to be like a step sibling tbh. he never took to any of them until his stepmom. who shockingly he actually really likes. shes one thing keeping his family together atm.

 Anyways as you can imagine slaters dads business was huge and his dad is truly raking in the money but slater has always felt uncomfortable spending or even benefiting off it which is why he’s extremely secretive considering he knows where it comes from and he doesn’t exactly support his dad let alone he doesn’t want to have to explain that to people and get them looking into his family.

his father has really tried and put up this front though as if he’s a huge family man now and is conservative and super religious and smh that pissed off slater to the max. he’s like that dont make no fucking sense..

 when he high school hit though they were going to country clubs all that shit slater hated basically. he truly didn’t mind acting out just to spite his dad knowing hey your a family man what are you gonna do about it??

this drove his dad so crazy and only meant more rules were put on him, it was about the only attention his dad gave him.

when hey fight though its really wild, you know slater throws it in his dads face basically just some fucking pimp and exploits people and he’s never gonna do that and he’d rather have nothing than follow in his footsteps

i think his dad has been fined multiple times for some shady shit going on in his businesses. plus its been common knowledge in the depths of the industry they heavily provide them w/ alcohol drugs etc. probably has had an issue with the treatment of the people hes hired. lawsuits.  there's more under the surface that even slater doesnt know.

there would’ve been a bit of a scandal where his dad employed one of his dumbass country club friends daughters aka someone even slater knew to star in one of his adult films

 but regardless like he knew he really was fortunate he lived an extremely privileged life, like he would be set for life, could sit do nothing and its good. he just never had a huge interest in it unlike his father who really always said that he would take over everything someday and it would turn into a huge family business. and he was like yikes someone come tell him.. no thanks. 

 His dad and him definitely had a rocky relationship after his moms death, he  didn’t parent very much and just left his stepmom in so many uncomfortable situations but honestly

 He saw her more as a friend though then a mum but she was the best parental figure he’s ever even had. She’d genuinely try so hard to make sure his dad was acting like one like telling him he’s going to his sons gigs or else even though slater knew his dad would come for 2 seconds to appease his wife then leave.

But growing up he’s always been super careful of who’s around him and who he lets into his life probably as a result of how secretive his family has always instilled in him to be.

 Like his dad keeps saying we’re family we come first, and he never wanted slater to be sharing that with people about what they did.

 But he has such a resentment to his dad, like he thinks he’s a mess he has a wife he doesn’t give a fuck about a son he doesn’t see, he does god knows what he just is so convinced he can’t turn out like him ever. 

I think people genuinely think he must not come from money because the amount of people who have ever met his parents or seen his house is a handful if that. 

Like he’s always hanging out at other people’s places and just he’s never been really extravagant unless its to purposely spite his dad yikes. that comes from anger.

Like he really got himself a job even though his dad said he could come work for him just cause he was like yeah I don’t want to run ur dumb company and make money off it u pos? 

His dad has definitely been investigated a few times for shady practices. slater definitely started looking into law for that reason, like he genuinely thought he wants to actually be able to put guys who screw the system and own huge corporations and think they can pay outta anything in jail.

meanwhile his dad thought great a lawyer who can defend our family business smh so he supports him He has no clue slater would rather take him down.

hes on the dl investigating his dad himself. who wanna help.

PERSONALITY

losing his mom AND one his best friends showed him that he needs to really do everything he wants to and in that moment which does make him selfish at times 

i think he has abandonment issues, i think like when  his best friend who was kinda the reason he came to lex, happened to pass away also triggered that again ( TBD WHY im leaving this open for plots ) and that really shook him all over.

he really almost feels cursed at this stage.

he was pretty sheltered tbh because his dad wasn’t trusting AT ALL and at first was homeschooled until High school so he didn’t exactly grow up outgoing or being able to have many people at his place or tell them about his life.

i think theres not many people who know he’s related to his dad business, even tho his dad business iS HUGE and legit is his last name. and hes like yeah ha coincidence right??? not my dad at all.

He’s super fucking blunt though like he may be secretive with his personal life but his ass does not hold back which has gotten him into way too many problems. 

He just feels like he grew up lying about so much, his dad was like we don't want people taking advantage of you if they find out who you are and use things against me.

 he hated that and all the secrets about his dad he kept so don’t expect him to hold back on feelings or thoughts back at all 

LOVES to spite and piss his dad off even if that means 30+ students at his dads place during a business meeting lets do it.

He acts a lot without thinking like he sucks at planning anything and a lot of time he seems a little flighty and that he doesn’t take things serious enough esp his relationships

.He’d really go above and beyond though for anyone who’s proven to him that they can be trusted like he’s been known to be all in he either gives it everything or nothing so he goes extravagant

will try everything once.

wild child tm.

 his ass was kinda like living it up. he’s like on the brink of i dont want to just use my dads money but he’s like if i am though i wanna use it to actually do something decent, like get a law degree and be something, travel like his mum did. hes obsessed with the thought of like following in her footsteps BUT HE. NEVER ADMITS IT.

feelings who are u?

 He’s definitely a realist and a little bit cynical too, like he’s seen way too much shit to really have some ideal look on life. 

He doesn’t believe in some fairytale or things just happen for a reason or really in fate or anything like that. 

Like he doesn’t think love fixes everything and someone can be your happiness at all . hes like clearly its only problems so.

He’s only ever really had one serious relationship and a bunch of other casual things but that was just nothing to him

 He’s not closed off to them but he picks and chooses what he gives, but he’s just doubtful how someone’s gonna mix well into his life 

He definitely seems aloof and a bit cold but I mean after a drink and 5 minutes he’ll be picking your brain on just about anything 

loves writing in general, usually lyrics and music though.

secretly Loves a good midnight dnm overlooking the water with a trusted friend

 Awesome at getting himself out of situations he can be pretty convincing lbr

lowkey has abandonment issues. 

connections: donnt say im trash i know.

extra drama - his STEP sibling. aka child of his step mom. 

his best friends sibling, aka the one who passed away :”(

someone whose mum dated his dad WILD.

A TABOO FLING OR CRUSH, basically he got with someone he shouldn’t of, we can decide reasons HOWEVER I’D LOVE if the other chara was the ex of his friend who passed away. HED FEEL LIKE SHIT for having feelings. the angst. and the we cant do this its wrong.

I mean... someone who actually WORKS FOR HIS DAD. i would die, could be an escort, a sex worker, someone who is signed to his dads production company, can be a pornstar or more like a cam star too.

someone who is a huge tease and rlly makes his ass beg to be with them. make him work for it honey.

ooo a really GOOOOD friend and they’ve always been “ platonic” but theres this weird sexual tension and they both know it, but like ooo it could risk the frienndship n makee it weird and like ugh.

like someone whose parents hates them hanging around w/ slater bc of his family, maybe bc they ran in the same circles from back home but they just.. cant stay away from each other.

someone hes kinda dated but they realised we’d be better off as friends even tho weve seenn each other naked, it was fun.

One of the people from back home that found out all about his entire family when the scandal was exposed. They could’ve been friends or enemies.

AN ex!! pls he defs has broken some hearts or THE ONE WHO BROKE HIS :) IF U DO THIS U WILL GET SO MUCH LOVE

An enemy Maybe someone against his family or someone he just can’t stand!

THE damn girl his fucking dad tried to employ to be in his damn movie! My ass would do wild shit for this one wild WILD SHIT.

unrequited love, someone's heart he broke without even realising it

A confidant someone he can really confide in tell-all his dumbass shit too, like his protective ass would really care for this person

Someone who’s into music as much as him pLS!! like someone who can just jam with him late nights

He needs that dnm kinda friend 😂

A fwb that’s self explanatory:)

RIDE OR DIES etc

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

ANYTHING IM SOOO OPEN FOR PLOTTING

#lex.intro

[pinkykitten]

Roses

The Good Doctor

Neil Melendez x female! reader

Warning: abusive ex, talking about abuse, violence 

Specifics: angst, romance, fluff, comedy, race neutral reader, one-shot

People: neil melendez, shaun murphy, greg (oc)

Words: 2,344

Requested: By anon Okay hi I'm thirsty for a fluffy protection type fiction. Like maybe Niel Melendez brings his girlfriend out for a nice dinner and shopping day and they end up seeing their abusive ex that decides to confront them so he gets protective (he's got them big muscules so 😂) and idk take it fron there i guess? Please and thank you! 💙💙

Authors Note: ok first off this is a very touchy subject and if u r in a abusive relationship or know some one who is in one pls get help, u dont deserve this treatment and ask someone for help, call someone, call the hotline for ur area this is a very serious subject. i hope i did justice in that area for survivors. i also chose this gif because i luv seeing my bby kissing and like hes just soooo handsome, us good folks all deserve a melendez in our life! also i read that flower in japanese is hana if its not im srry i found it on google.

“So you’re gonna join me at 7 tonight right?” Your boyfriend Neil asked as he stepped behind you, kissing your head. 

“Babe we’re at work,” you chuckled, turning around and greeting his precious, handsome face. His lips curled into a smile, “you think I care, I’m showing my girl some love.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his lips lightly, “of course I’m gonna be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You pecked his cheek and then whispered your parting into his ear, “I can’t wait for you to see how tight my dress is on me.”

“If you keep talking like that I might just want to skip dinner and eat something else instead.”

You rolled your eyes, hitting his shoulder playfully, “forward aren't we today Neil!” As Neil was about to proceed in his flirtatious attitude Shaun showed up and gave his innocent face to the two of you. “What are you two discussing?”

You found that it was your time to leave so you gave a little wave and let Neil take that embarrassing question for the team, “I know babe you’ll come up with a good answer to Shaun.”

You were very excited to meet up with Neil for dinner. He was taking you somewhere that you always wanted to go, according to him. See, the dinner or more like where it is taken at is a surprise. You have not a clue where Neil is taking you. It made you bubbly on the inside towards the day. 

Taking the day into your hands you got out of work early so you could have time to doll yourself up. 

When you arrived home you took a shower, put makeup on, and then slipped on your dress. As you took a look in the mirror at your self you were unsure. “I don’t know, is this too much?” You questioned a loud, peering at yourself from side to side. Thats when you heard a knock at your door. “Oh well too late now.”

You touched up on your lips real quick with your makeup and ran to the door in your heels. Taking a couple of breaths you opened to find Neil.

“Hi babe, wow you look,” your words were stuck in your throat. You eyed him up and down and swallowed harshly. “Wow, you look so, so, so-”

“Look at you,” he whispered, almost like to himself. He was looking at you up and down as well but he looked at you as if you were the most beautiful star in the galaxy. His eyes shone with love, having a little twinkle in them. He was head over heels for you, he was in love. “You look gorgeous baby.”

You smiled away, bashful, “You look amazing as well.”

Neil brought his hand out for you to take hold. He guided you to his car, opening the door for you like a gentleman, “oh you didn’t need to do that.”

Neil bent down to capture your lips in a kiss, “I wanted to though.”

On your way to the surprise restaurant you couldn’t help but try to guess where he was taking you. He would sternly give you a look and then you would pout making him give in and give you hints. 

“Okay we’re here.” Your head shot up to the restaurant. E/c eyes opening wide and bright you squeal in shock. “No way babe, you got a reservation for this restaurant? I’ve wanted to come here for so long, how did you know?”

Neil took a hold of your hand and was giggling at how adorable you were acting, “y/n you talk about this place all the time. Let me tell you it wasn’t easy getting reservations but I kinda had to pull a few strings.”

You embraced Neil and kissed him repeatedly all over the face, “I. LOVE. YOU. SO. MUCH!”

“I love you too, now c’mon.”

You two walked to the restaurant and it was as if you stepped into a fairy tale book. There were chandeliers gleaming and sparkling like diamonds, hanging delicately from the roof. There was gold embroidery on almost everything. A live band playing jazz music was there. All the guests look so sophisticated and glamorous with their outfits on. You were astonished. “Oh my god this is so classy, I can’t believe I’m here.”

Neil places his hand on your lower back to escort you to the table that the waiter had for you two. You both sat by a window, overseeing the city. The lights were bright and small making it seem like fireflies. As you looked down below you could see people walking, minding their own business. 

“Thank you for taking me here. I’m so happy to be here with you. This is the best surprises.”

Neil grabbed your hand and kissed it, “well get used to it. There’s gonna be more surprises along the road. You chuckled and lightly touched his leg with yours, “who knows maybe I have a surprise up my sleeve for you today.” You flirted to him as he raised his brow. 

You two dined fine that afternoon. Laughing, flirting, just having yourself a good time that is until you saw him. You look up into his eyes, your heart and world seem to stop. Its only him and you. It is your ex from your college days, only a couple of years ago did you break up with him. He was a monster. He would abuse you verbally but also physically. Your eyes widen and you are brought back in the present with Neil’s voice. “You okay sweetheart?”

You almost choke on your food but nod not wanting him to worry, “yes I’m fine.” The ex comes to your table with a new woman. She seems to have a bad attitude. “Why if it isn’t y/n l/n. How are you?”

As he gets closer to the table you see clearly his face again. That dam* face, still to this day gives you nightmares. Neil never knew about him because you felt that it was not necessary to tell him of this information. You were quiet with your answer, looking down and not at him, “fine.”

Neil took note of this and knew something was up, he was worried. “How do you two know each other?”

“Oh he’s just an old-”

“We used to date, I’m Greg.”

Neil was about to give his name when Greg stopped him, he shook his hand and said, “no need Mr. Melendez. I know all about you. You’re that doctor in that hospital with that autistic kid. Must have a hel* of a lot stories with him.”

“Actually he’s very good with his job, he’s one of the best.” Neil answered back. 

“Now what do you do again y/n?”

“I’m a doctor at the same hospital. We work together.” Your hands found themselves twisting and clutching the table cloth. You did not act like yourself. 

“Oh how nice, are you two together?”

Neil nodded and grabbed your hand, reassuring you and showing that you two are together to your old ex, feeling a bit jealous. “Yes we are actually. She’s the best thing thats ever happened to me.”

“Thats funny I remember when I used to say that. Man, it seems like a million years ago.”

You could tell Neil was getting over protective of you the way his jaw clenched whenever that wrenched man ever talked about your past relationship with him. 

“I always told y/n though, when she told me she wanted to be a doctor, to reach for something more...possible. Now look! She’s done the thing she wanted to do, maybe I some what some way encouraged her.” He laughed evilly at the end of his statement.

“Well I’ve always told y/n that she can do anything she puts her mind to. She’s very hard working and that is one of the many things that I love about her,” Neil was almost about to break the knife he was holding. His eyes were burning with anger. He was boiling on the inside. His jaw was clenching and he was almost shaking at how rude this man was to you. 

The man took notice of it and wanted to play with fire. He placed his tough hands that were rough looking on your shoulder, close to your neck. “Its a shame, as I recall me and y/n had some wonderful times together. Didn’t we sweetheart?”

Your breathing was coming out in short breaths, your nostrils flaring. Tears almost about to spill. You were frightened. If Neil wasn’t here you would of gotten up and ran away, but you didn’t want to form a show. You nodded to his question. His hand lingered too long on you for Neil’s liking. Greg’s fingers stroking where he used to strangle you when you two were together and then as you were about to pass out he would let you take a breath. He liked to be the leader, the man capable of deciding whether you lived or died. You started to shake with fear and Neil had enough. He abruptly stood up, his muscles showing full well through his tight suit. He looked as if he wanted to punch Greg straight in the jaw. Neil walked so close to Greg you were worried they were about to fight. 

“Don’t touch her.” Neil ordered, his voice rough almost a bark. 

“Excuse me?”

Neil pointed a finger at him, “I said don’t touch her. Get your ungrateful hands off her.”

Greg looked like he was the victim and placed his hands by his side. “You can have the whore, she wasn’t good any ways.”

Neil almost lunged himself at the man but you blocked Neil and stopped him. You placed a hand on his cheek to get him to only pay attention to you. “Hey babe its okay look at me, please don’t worry about him.” Neil tried to focus on his breathing and his temper, leaning his forehead against yours. As he sat down, almost calm, you saw that he bent the knife all the way so that it looked like a c. As things were settled you felt the heat of it all on you at that moment and needed fresh air. 

“I think I’m done here,” you wiped your mouth with the napkin and ran to the exit. Tears streaming down your face. 

Neil tried to stop you, calling out your name. He was very worried about you. 

You sprinted outside and sat on a nearby bench away from everyone. There you sobbed, all of the monstrous things that Greg did coming back to you and haunting you. 

“Baby,” you heard Neil’s voice as he came up to you. “Baby whats wrong?”

He sat beside you and looked at your face. Your cheeks stained with tears. Neil’s arm found themselves around your shoulder. “Please y/n tell me whats wrong?”

“That man inside the restaurant. Its true what he says that we were together, but when I was with him he, he beat me. Neil he used to beat me so many times a day, he hurt me so bad.” You sobbed uncontrollably in Neil’s chest. Neil embraced you tighter, kissing your forehead. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“He scared me Neil, I was so scared!”

Neil was shaking with anger. “I’ll kill that man! I’m gonna kill him.” He was being very over protective over you. You were his life. 

“No please babe, please don’t. I don’t want you to get into trouble, please.” Your eyes said it all when he looked into them. They were begging.

Neil closed his eyes, they were watery. “Okay.” Was all he could say.

You clutched onto Neil as hard as you could. Just wanting him to be with you and to just have his presence. He made you feel safe and calm. 

“I promise nobody will ever hurt you again,” he whispered into your ear. Kissing your face then your lips, showing you how much he truly loves you. 

Neil was there for you. He comforted you by patting your back and whispering how much he loves you. 

“How are you feeling?”

You sniffled and looked up at Neil. Neil wiped your tears away and kissed your cheek. You smiled and basked in his love, “I’m doing better thanks.”

“Why don’t we do something that’ll cheer you up. I mean you look so beautiful I don’t want this beauty to go to waste.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Neil grabbed your hand and brought you to an unknown store named, “Hana.”

“Hmm what is he up to?”

After a few minutes Neil came out of the store. He hid something behind his back, his dimples showing on his handsome face as he grins at you. 

“Another surprise?” You asked as you tried to see behind him. 

“Here its for you, to make you feel better.” Neil pulled the gift from behind. It was a bouquet of roses. 

You felt like crying...again! This man treated you so spectacularly. He treated you like a princess, always wanting you to feel happy. It was silence, you looked at the roses and started to tear up, “they are so beautiful babe.”

“I thought you needed some cheering up. A gift to show you how much you mean to me.”

You smelled the roses but then placed them delicately in the bag. You placed both your hands on Neil’s face and inched closer to him, “I love you so much.”

Your lips joined in unison. You opened your mouth wider to kiss more fiercely. You moaned in the kiss, “I love you so much. I love you so much.”

You two separated and Neil brought you protectively close to him. His arms feeling like a comforting cage around you, they were thick and strong. “I love you too baby.”

You two walked together, enjoying the rest of the night and not caring about any body else except you two’s love.

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @fangirl-4-life415

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

#the good doctor #fanfiction #race neutral reader #the good doctor imagine #dr neil melendez #neil melendez #neil melendez x reader #x reader #neil melendez imagine #imagines #requested #i love this man so much like WOWWWWEEEEE #he is like a prince #i loved writing this #we all need more tgd #tgd #tgd imagine

[mytholora]

do you hear my heart beating

Fandom: Mamamoo

Rated: T

Pairings: Moonsun

Characters: Solar, Moonbyul, Wheein, Hwasa

Summary: Yongsun knows she’s an idiot but she’d thought herself to be an idiot with good ideas.

Yongsun knows she’s an idiot but she’d thought herself to be an idiot with good ideas.

They’re in a seedy club at some inhumane hour of the morning. Byulyi has somehow managed to convince her to go even though she’s got a paper due tomorrow and hasn’t washed her hair in 3 days.

“ISN’T THIS AMAZING?” Byulyi yells over the crowd of people wildly bumping their bodies into each other and the blaring music. It’s humid. Yongsun’s sure she’s stepped on something gross. At least 2 people have tried grinding on her, she doesn’t know. What she does know is that Byulyi’s holding her hand tight and she’s about to spontaneously combust.

“It’s really loud in here!”

“WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?” Byul makes a pained face at her, stretching back to hear her better.

“WHAT Oh—never mind.” Yongsun sighs, realising that no matter how loud she shouts, Byulyi can’t hear her over the loud music. How is she supposed to flirt with Byulyi if they can’t even hear each other? Another body falls on her and Yongsun is this close to biting someone’s ear off. She grunts under the weight of a clearly inebriated body and struggles to push him back on his feet. Of course this fucking caveman has to fall on me, of all the people in this hellcave.

Suddenly, Byulyi appears in front of her and pushes the man off her.

“Hey, watch where you’re falling, asshole!” Byulyi snarls, anger flaring in her eyes, arms holding Yongsun closely, tightly, and Yongsun feels her face heat up as she presses herself closer to Byulyi’s frame.

“Thanks, bodyguard,” Yongsun breathes out.

“WHAT?”

“I said thanks!”

“WHAT?”

“Forget it!”

“...WHAT?”

“LET’S JUST GO!”

“I can’t hear you, let’s just go!” Byulyi pulls her arm to signal her to start moving and they start wading through the swamp of people once more. A light bulb flickers to life above Yongsun’s head instantly. They can barely hear themselves in the noise, much less each other. It’s an opportunity falling on her lap and Yongsun’s damned if she won’t take it.

She clears her throat. “Your hands really turn me on.”

Byulyi doesn’t even turn around to look at her, just keeps pushing forward through the crowd. Yongsun bites back laughter and squeezes Byulyi’s hand. She turns around at that, tilting her head in slight confusion, face sporting a grin. Yongsun shakes her head and they continue moving as glee at the prospect of what she can do in her current situation fills her up.

Walking deeper in still, the club gets louder and darker even though Yongsun didn’t think it was possible mere minutes ago.

“Hey, hot ass lady holding my hand,” Yongsun tries. “Could we go get some drinks before hitting the dance floor?” No reaction.

“You sexy beast. Hold me tight. Grab my tiddies and drag me into a kiss.”

Nothing. If Byulyi can hear her, she doesn’t show any indication that she does.

It’s even better than I thought, Yongsun thinks incredulously. She gives a tug to the hand that’s holding hers.

“Can we get a drink first?” She asks in her normal voice, not even trying to compete against the noise. Byulyi frowns and leans closer, lips forming a ‘what’. Yongsun smiles and gestures towards what distinctly looks like a bar and tilts her head back to mimic the act of drinking. Byulyi perks up, nods, and they head off to a new destination.

It’s a little quieter at the bar, the air still shaking with heavy bass, but Yongsun can actually hear her own thoughts now. A familiar beautiful woman with a smouldering gaze is already waiting for them at the bar, an eyebrow raised, and Yongsun fights back a blush when the woman glances between Byulyi and herself as they walk towards her.

“Surprise!” Byulyi yells and almost leaps across the counter to wrap the woman in a hug.

“How did you manage to find me? I barely started working, like, two days ago!” Hyejin laughs, arms going around to return the hug before pulling Yongsun into another smothering one.

“I have my sources!” Byulyi says and Hyejin rolls her eyes.

“Wheein! Of course.”

“Where is she anyway? She owes me 15 bucks!” Hyejin motions to somewhere behind her and not even a moment later, a young dimpled girl appears beside Hyejin and squeals, dragging all four of them into a group huddle.

“HELL YEAH! The gang’s back together for a night of booze and bad decisions!” She jumps around excitedly and Yongsun feels her heart melt at the sight. She glances at Hyejin and Byulyi and she’s sure she’s not the only one. They are all soft for Wheein and her bubbly energy.

“Making bad decisions won’t be a problem with how fucking LOUD this place is! Are the speakers busted or something?” Yongsun winces as the music somehow gets louder than before, a remix of some top 10 EDM song reverberating in her skull.

“We don’t really know why but the other bartenders tell us it’s the DJ! He always plays the music this loud just cuz it ‘sets him in the mood’!” Wheein explains and Byulyi rolls her eyes.

“What an asshole.”

“Right?! Most of the DJs we’ve met here are really nice but he’s the only one that’s a big meanie! Just earlier tonight he…” Wheein launches into a story and Byulyi listens attentively, straining her neck forward to pick up on Wheein’s excited chatter. Hyejin quickly fills up two mugs with some cheap beer for them and is off to respond to a customer calling for her. Byulyi sends a wink her way as thanks before focusing her attention back onto Wheein and her flailing arms.

Yongsun adores that part of Byulyi that is so attentive and pays attention to details. The one that tries her best to be inclusive. The one with so much kindness and care in her heart. It was a quality that attracted so many of her friends to her and helped her to easily make more.

“I love you so much,” Yongsun stares at Byulyi and the words slip out before she can stop it. A spike of anxiety stabs her before realising that it is too loud for anyone to pick up what she’s saying. “That jacket looks great around you but you know what would look better? Me.”

Byulyi doesn't react. She’s still listening attentively to Wheein’s enthusiastic storytelling. It’s a chance she can’t miss.

“You funky lesbian, why the fuck are you so perfect, huh? Wanna fight? Wanna sit on my face? I dare you. I’m so in love with you. I’m not even joking. I would lay my life down for you like a knight for her queen, except like, I don’t wanna die, so maybe not. I’d fight a man for you, though. I’d choke all the men in the world for you. Fuck, you look so good. Marry me.”

Yongsun is on a roll, spitting out cheesy compliments and flirty pick-up lines. She says it to no-one in particular, keeping her eyes on the hyper duo next to her as she nurses her drink in one hand.

That is, until she realises her phone has been incessantly buzzing in her pocket. It’s enough to get her to take it out and look through her notifications.

Hyegi: oi

Hyegi: im on the other side

Hyegi: bitch dont ignore me look here

Hyegi: are u talking to yourself or smth wat the fuck

Hyegi: who you talking to

Hyegi: oh my god

Hyegi: SKJSHDSJFH

Hyegi: omg u hopeless gay

Hyegi: sit on your face???

Hyegi: yong pls

Hyegi: pls do not start fighting here i dont wanna be fired

Hyegi: im begging you pls stop

Hyegi: o fuk that’s so NSFW im gagging

Hyegi: bicth

Hyegi: thicc byulssy???? UVE GONE TOO FAR

Hyegi: HELLO!! LOOK HERE ASSHOLE!!!

Yongsun is absolutely mortified. Her eyes quickly dart to where Hyejin is leaning against the counter a few metres away, smoothly typing away on her phone, as if she didn’t just ruin Yongsun’s entire night in a few texts. Hyejin glances up to look at her and smirks. Yongsun's fight or flight response is fully activated and screaming at her to somehow knock Hyejin unconscious and make her lose all memory of tonight.

Yong: FUCK

Yong: dkjfhsljdfh

Yong: what the fuck

Hyegi: calm down

Yong: im gonna fukcking

Yong: what the FUCK

Hyegi: CHILL i wont tell

Yong: i will die on the spot if you do

Hyegi: please dont

Yong: DIE you hear me

Hyegi: I WONT I SWEAR

Yong: this whole time

Yong: how

Yong: did you bug me with a mic

Hyegi: what?? no i can lip read

Yong: how? since when??? what the fuck

Hyegi: took a course back in college

Yong: why

Hyegi: i wanted to be a spy

Yong: uh

Yong: ok

Yong: anyway pls dont spill

Hyegi: chillax i wont. I got u babe

Yong: thanks ily

Hyegi: ily too

Hyegi: also u are one giant horndog u know that?? fuckin intense!!

Yong: and what about it? she’s hot. im hot. we’re perfect for each other

Hyegi: LMAO right so why u seducing thin air

Yong: im just

Yong: building up my offense u know

Yong: training to fight fire with fire

Hyegi: by talking to the air

Yong: im TRAINING u fool

Yong: im like zuko and she’s azula because im gonna take her down

Yong: except we’re not siblings and i wanna date her

Hyegi: fuck u dont ruin that show for me

Yong: im not supporting incense im just saying they were both hot

Hyegi: incense im its incest u illiterate

Hyegi: ok look if i give u another drink on the house will u PLEASE shut the fuck up

Yong: a nicer one please

Yong: thanks

Yong: also zutara should have been endgame

Hyegi: dont test me because i will throw this drink in ur face

Yongsun laughs and looks up only to see Wheein gone and Byulyi staring at her and smiling. She feels her heart jump out her chest and tries to not let it show. She raises an eyebrow and Byulyi shakes her head and takes another swig of her now finished beer. Hyejin walks up to them with Yongsun’s drink on the house.

“Hey, how come she gets another one?!” Byulyi pouts, shifting closer to Yongsun and her new drink.

“What can I say? I’m a natural charmer!” Yongsun shrugs, a teasing lilt in her voice, which makes Byulyi pout even more. Hyejin rolls her eyes and walks away. Yongsun realises that it’s just her and Byulyi now. She clears her throat uncomfortably, unprepared to face Byulyi one-on-one, despite all the ‘training’ she’s undergone.

“Holy shit, I love this song! For a shitty DJ, he’s got pretty good taste in music!” Byulyi perks up. She gets off her chair and sways to the song now playing through the speakers. Yongsun watches awkwardly as Byulyi dances without a care in front of her.

She thinks she’s disassociating. In another dimension.

Byulyi? Sexy dancing in front of her as she sits and watches? Not even trying to escape? Absolutely unheard of.

She’d already be running for the hills on a normal day.

I’m too fucking gay for this shit. Is this happening? Is this really happening? What the fuck.

Yongsun doesn’t budge an inch on her seat, doesn’t even grab her drink. Her eyes watch Byulyi intensely, expression unchanging as the younger girl dances without a care in the world, unaware of the quickly deteriorating mess that is Yongsun’s sanity. Byulyi’s eyes lock with hers and she feels something important escape her body.

Her phone buzzes again and again and Yongsun forces herself to tear her eyes away from the spectacle that is Byulyi and respond to it.

Hyegi: u lesbian

Hyegi: SHUT UP ur sex eyes are so obvious

Hyegi: U look like u are one blink away from pushing her down!! Fuck

Hyegi: i cant deal with this

Hyegi: remember to use protection xoxo hwasa

Yongsun rolls her eyes. Her phone buzzes again. What now?

---

Wheenie: byul-unnie

Wheeinie: i got him to play the song u wanted

Wheeinie: r u sure dis will work

Wheeinie: make sure u do wat we discussed

Wheeinie: unnie u luk v intense

Wheeinie: ya work those sexy moves

Wheein: sway ur hips more!! bat ur eyes!!

Wheeinie: she looks turned on as fUK keep doing it

Wheeinie: lmao she’s looking here?? move closer

Wheeinie: get more in her face!! blast ur hormones! show her ur willing and ready!!!

Wheeinie: wait

Wheeinie: OH FUCK

from this shitpost of mine

after more than a year here i am...... my measly attempt at comedy..

comments r appreciated and criticism even more so because i get turned on by both

#mamamoo #moonset #moonbyul #solar #wheein #hwasa #humour #humor #moowritings #had this saved in my drafts and forgot to post it??? #mamamoo fanfic

[mysticsituations]

Hello, this is a bit high school romance cliche, hope you dont mind ^^ some girls (who kinda idolize/admire RFA&Saeran&V) call MC out to threaten her to stay away from them cos MC doesn't deserve them etc. MC refuses and these mean girls are about to bully/hit her. Luckily RFA&Saeran&V is nearby and heard everything. What will they do? Thank you.

(Anon) Hi, can you please write about when there is another girl that keep flirting with RFA+V+Saeran even when they are already a couple with MC so MC feels a bit jealous and sad. How will they react? Thanks a lot.

-

hohoho so like some of these will be like bully as in say mean shit, but not really like hit her. The scenarios I came up with never really ended that way- sorry!

Yoosung

-It was the internet cafe waitress DUN DUN DUN!

-Yoosung is so nice and tips so well, she was into it.

-  one day you come in to pick him up from the internet cafe and you stay for a few minutes to watch him play.

-Thats when the waitress comes up. She’s like, all over him? despite the fact that you are right there???

-You even start flirting with Yoosung on top of her, and she doesn’t back down. Yoosung doesn’t seem to notice either, and that kinda pisses you off.

-You go to the bathroom and the waitress intercepts you.

- “Hello, MC.”

-”O-Oh! Hey… You. You have been very… attentive…  today. Do you need something?”

-”Yes, I need you to leave Yoosung.”

- you are like ?!!??!?! Excuse me bitch

- “You see, Yoosung isn’t like a lot of the boys here. He never yells out horrible things or is violent with the equipment. His smile is bright and he tips well. He deserves a good girl to appreciate him.”

- You puff your chest out and plant your hands on your hips (God you’re cute) and try to be intimidating You are not.

-”I will not be leaving Yoosung just so you can have him.”

- “Then it looks like we will have a problem.” She says with a sadistic smile and honestly you are scared for a second?

-Suddenly Yoosung comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you.

- “I’m sorry, whatever-your-name-is, but I don’t appreciate the way you are talking to my girlfriend.” He says calmly, and the look in his eyes sends chills down your spine.

-Yandere!Yoosung is out.

- “O-Oh! Yoosung, I just-”

- “ I just think you were apologizing for being rude to my girlfriend as I reported you to your manager. I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate you harrassing the customers.”

- The girl blushed deeply and mumbled an apology before pushing past you.

- Yoosung breathed out as he tightened his grip on you.

-”MC, I’m so sorry. I had no idea she felt that way. I would never have come here if I knew she was flirting with me like that.”

- You smile, knowing of course Yoosung didn’t realize what was happening.

- You give him punishment for making you jealous later ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Zen

-so it was his costar.

-You had seen the way she was all over him at rehearsals.

-You had visited a few times and saw her just fawning all over him, and Zen was politely accepting the compliments, but trying to shut it down. He wasn’t oblivious, but he really didn’t know how to make her stop.

- Today was the day of the last show, and you were going to see Zen in his dressing room after it was done!

-However little miss thang was already heading towards his door.

-Oh Hell No.

-”Oh, hi! You did great in the show tonight!” You said kindly, and she honestly did, “Do you have business with Zen?”

-”Oh yes. I wanted to see if he wanted to go out to dinner with me~” She said shamelessly.

- Insert eye twitch.

- “Actually, Zen and I are going to celebrate together. Sorry.”

- “Oh, that doesn’t scare me. I’m sure he’ll choose me~” She says sharply, and you blink.

- “Excuse me?”

-”You heard me. You’re not that pretty, and obviously you’re just some nobody. Zen can’t have any real attachment to you. I suggest you step aside and let me have him.”

-You scowl, trying to find the words to say to that, when the door opens.

- Out walks Zen, fire in his eyes.

- He swoops over to you, dipping you and kissing you passionately.

- He spins you up and turns to his costar and smiles brightly.

- “Oh, hi! My beautiful, wonderful, loving girlfriend and I are on our way out. I have tried to be nice to you, but hearing you be mean to my girlfriend has broke the straw. Please leave, and don’t approach me again.”

-”B-But Zenny-” She starts, and he quickly interupts.

-”Do NOT call me Zenny. Only my love can call me Zenny, and you will NEVER be my love.”

-Pissed, the girl stomps off.

- This time you kiss him passionately.

- “Zenny, that was hot.”

-”Careful, Babe, you might bring out the beast.”

-You look lustfully at him.

- “Bring him out, then.”

- You couldn’t walk the next day

Jaehee

this one is with a homophobic guy, so warning here.

-

-

-Fuckboi™ customer

-dumbass can’t even see she’s into girls

- Comes in and says “hey beautiful, mind if I get something sweet?”

- Jaehee is trying to be professional and is like “Of course, sir. Can I recommend you something from our bakery? Or we have drinks with a sugary after taste.”

-”I think I’d like to order something off menu if you know what I mean.”

- You had been listening and decided to step in.

- “Jaehee, Love, can you go clean up by table 10? I’ll handle this.”

- Jaehee eyed you cautiously, making sure he didn’t pull the same move on you. You gave her an encouraging smile.

- Fuckboi is eyeing her as she walks away.

- “How may I help you, sir?”

- “You can bring back the hot one- That’ll definitely help.”

- You bristle.

- “Well, the ‘hot one’ as you put it is my girlfriend, and I’d appreciate if you’d leave her alone.”

- “Oh… she’s into pussy huh? Bet I could change her with a good dick down.”

- You slam your hands on the counter.

- “I’m sorry sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

- He snorts. “Yeah, like I’m gunna listen to the ugly one.”

- Insert Baehee in Full Anger Mode.

- “Sir, my beautiful girlfriend and I do not cater to people like you. Before I forcibly evict you from the premises, I suggest you take yourself out.”

- “See- this is why I hate lesbians. You’re all the same.” He says with disgust. Jaehee is fighting to not judo his ass into next week, taking a threatening step forward, but you hold her back.

- As he walks out the door, she pulls you into the backroom.

- You let out a breath, situations like that always tense and unnerving, and she brushes your hair out of your face.

- “People like that must not only be horrible but also blind to think You’re the ugly one…” She says with such desire in her eyes it makes you hot under the collar.

- You pull her in for a deep kiss that leaves you both breathless.

Jumin

-another Sarah-like character.

-Jumin is used to it tbh, but it still is so annoying

- You were at a dinner party, Jumin of course inviting his beautiful wife.

- And most girls at the party respected that Jumin wasn’t single anymore, if only because they weren’t so daring as to cross you, but this girl was not that smart

- She comes up to Jumin and is doing the whole Rich-Girl Flirting that Jumin is used to, and he is annoyed but handling it.

-You go to get a drink cuz its sickening to watch tbh.

- Then he excuses himself to talk to someone else, and she comes over to where you are at the bar.

- “Hello Mrs. Han. Nice to see you here.” She says in a fake nice voice.

- “Oh! I’m surprised you knew who I was.” you say in the same fake voice. “Are you a business partner with my husband?”

- “Not yet… I was just hoping he would be open to a… what did you call it- Partnership? with me after he was done with you.”

- Oh bitch hell no.

- “What makes you think he’ll be done with me?” You ask sharply, dropping the act.

- “Well, you’ve seen his father, haven’t you? The Han men aren’t known for being loyal.”

- “My Jumin is loyal. I can assure you of that.” You say coldly. “I trust him completely. He would not abandon me just because you walked in.”

- “Maybe not.” She says calmly. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t humiliate you~”

-Then the bitch throws wine all over you.

- You jump back and everyone in the party looks at you.

- “Oh dear, I’m so clumsy… To think I wasted such good wine on that hideous dress~”

- People start whispering, and you are frozen in place, trying to figure out what to do, when Jumin comes behind you.

- “My Love, let me assist you.” He says smoothly as he pulls you to the side. He shoots a cold and calculated glare at the horrible woman. “As for you miss, I would appreciate it if you stayed away from my lovely wife. I wouldn’t want your horrible personality rubbing off on her brilliance.”

- Cue woman scoffing and walking off.

- He pulls you into the hallway and dabs ur dress with a napkin he grabbed.

- “Dear I am so sorry. I have been trying to free myself from her all night, and it seems she went straight to you when I escaped. I should have had a closer eye on you.”

- You smile softly. “It’s okay, Juju. I’m just glad we are out of there.”

- He kisses your cheek softly as he plays with a strand of your hair.

- “Let’s take this as an excuse to go home and let me prove my devotion to you, my Love.”

Seven

-You two had started going to a cat cafe every Friday.

- It was mostly to get away, but it was also because you were trying to teach him to not be abusively kind to cats.

- There was this girl that worked there that always seemed to be interested in Saeyoung though.

- She would bring him a lot of cats and talk to him a lot.

- To be honest you didn’t even realize she was flirting with him at first- You thought she was just very attentive.

-That was until she followed you into the bakery part of the cafe one day.

- “Oh hey!” You said to her as she came and started sweeping near your table. “How is Saeyoung doing?”

-”Better now that you are gone.” She said softly.

- Oh but you heard it.

- “Um… Excuse me?” You said incredulously, furrowing your brow.

- “I said he’s doing better without you. He’s such a nice guy- He loves cats so much! You don’t appreciate it! I can tell!”

- You stood up.

- “I appreciate Saeyoung very much! I don’t know who you think you are-”

- “I’m someone better for him! He needs someone like me! You are just-”

- Suddenly the jukebox in the corner turned on the speakers.

- And you knew that song.

- That was you and Saeyoung’s song (These Broken Hands of Mine by Joe Brooks)

-Suddenly Saeyoung was behind you, leading you to a small place on the floor in front of the juke box. He started dancing with you right there in front of everyone.

- He was looking into your eyes, a fire in his own.

- “You know you are the only one for me, MC. You are like a gravitational force with me, my soul forever in orbit around you.”

- When the song ended, he kissed you deeply and everyone clapped.

- Bitchface got her ass fired. Saeyoung made sure of that.

V

- So it was a model.

- After you and Jihyun got together, you were often a subject of his paintings.

- And this girl was looking at your collection while he was presenting, making a lot of comments of the color choice and compostion and blah blah blah

- You didn’t think too much of it- people gushed over Jihyun all the time.

- But then she got you alone.

- “So you are the model, huh? You don’t look like the paintings.”

- You bristle.

- “I’m sorry?”

- “I mean I can tell you aren’t a professional model. Your body isn’t made for this kind of thing. Jihyun needs a beautiful woman to model for him- to be with him.”

- You feel sick to your stomach, but before you can say anything, Jihyun is behind you.

- “Oh, hello. I saw you looking at my paintings earlier.” He says smoothly, but you can see something harsh in his eyes, a rare sight for Jihyun.

- “Oh yes, I was just telling your model about-”

- “Yes, isn’t she a wonderful model? I try to capture the souls of the things I paint, and since her soul is so beautiful, she always creates beautiful art.”

-His eyes then turn cold, but a wide smile is on his face.

- “It’s for that reason that I can’t accept your request to model. I’m afraid your soul wouldn’t create a beautiful painting.”

- You’re speechless, the woman’s speechless, Jihyun just takes your hand and leads you out.

- God you love that man.

Saeran

-It was the ice cream girl!

- Saeran has his favorite ice cream joint, and you go there all the time.

- There’s this girl that works there all the time, and she’s sweet on Saeran.

- Saeran, the sweet bean, doesn’t notice, but you don’t want to take away his favorite ice cream place just because you are jealous.

- One day Saeran gets a phone call and steps outside to take it, and you are ordering alone.

- The girl gets bold.

- “So how long have you been together?”

- You mention that it hasn’t been that long, and she gets a smug look.

- “That’s good.”

- You frown.

- “Excuse me?”

- She realizes her mistake, but decides to own it.

- “I just really like him. I would hope you would acknowledge that.”

- You are taken aback by her forwardness.

- “S-Saeran is my boyfriend, MIss. I would hope you would acknowledge THAT.”

- “Yes well... that can be fixed quite easily.”

- Suddenly you are being dipped and Saeran’s tongue is in your mouth.

- You melt into it, sitting there heavily kissing for a good minute, little miss thang awkwardly looking at the ground, before he picks up and just leads you out of the place.

- You look up at him, eyes wide, before he looks into your eyes. 

- “I apologize if that was too forward, Angel, but I just had to make sure she knew how devoted I was to you.”

- SWOON

- The girl is fired when you go back and that night, you show him just how devoted you are to HIM too~

#Anonymous #god that took me two whole days #im so slow forgive me #rfa+V+saeran #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #zen #jumin han #saeyoung choi #707 #v #jihyun kim #saeran choi #ray #headcanons #my headcanons #mysticsituations #mystic messenger

[tskumoyuuma]

ok .... so .. I watched endgame ... and I honestly dont kno how to feel. dont get me wrong, it was a good movie but there was so much stuff that's honestly giving me a headache rn. I'm gonna try to say my thoughts below but its prob gonna be disjointed so be warned n yea massive spoilers below obviously

ok stuff I liked included the massive battle scene at the end I cheered the shit out of that it was the best part of the movie hands down. jokes wer fairly well except for one major thing I'll get into. i also Loved sam getting the shield i screamed when that happened. i also think they did tony good like his death felt natural to me n fit w his character n at least he got to be really happy for five years n got to reunite w peter before he went n like hey he saved the universe too which i was scared was gonna go to steve which i would Not have liked. n yea that's.. p much it for stuff I really liked. most other scenes I was like meh or ?????

ok now shit I have Major issues w ......

1) ok let me get this out of the way now .... time travel always fucks w things. u can never use time travel unless u specifically planned for it since the beginning n even then u gotta be Very careful cause timeline shit is fragile. the whole "we gotta put the time stones back so the timelines dont get fucked EVEN THO BOTH GAMORA AND THANOS R NO LONGER IN THE PAST ANYMORE ??????" I'm sorry but I cant just let that go that's too much to ignore n the fact that steve went back n is still in that exact timeline means that the gamora thanos missing thing applies to that timeline too which would make no sense for infinity war n guardians of the galaxy. its is The biggest peeve I have n I really cant look past that. anyway moving on

2) speaking of the jokes, I Hated what they did to thor. his entire thing was a fat joke. they made him depressed n fat n purposefully ugly w that body prosthetic n played it for a joke. even his supposedly emotional scenes wer drowned out by jokes, n I hated it n was uncomfortable n i am so sad about what theyv done to him especially after ragnarok also fuck u even more u get TWO hammers whatevr

3) speaking of hammers WHY was steve able to pick up thors hammer now ??? like i get it looked cool but what exactly changed from age of ultron to now that had steve become worthy of picking up the hammer cause in my opinion he did nothing to warrant this (uh oh my anti steve side is showing)

4) i really think they shouldve either killed steve or didnt have him show up after going back w the stones cause one it would fix the time thing since hes the one thing thats proving that the whole film is one timeline n two it just i think would feel a lot better. like bucky obviously knew what steve was gonna do he wasnt surprised at all so when steve goes in n doesnt come back out have bucky hand sam the shield n a letter explaining why he didnt come back n that hes entrusting the cap name to same now. i kno it wouldnt have the same idk emotional satisfaction or whatever of having steve himself hand the shield over but i mean i didnt feel that i only felt joy for sam getting this title so i wouldv preferred it the other way just my thoughts on that

5) the whole natasha n clint fighting to see who jumps off the cliff for the soul stone scene was honestly ... really funny to me. like they were throwing things n physically fighting to get the chance to kill themselves n i was holding back laughter i really thought they were both gonna go over n whoops guess wer not getting the soul stone cause no ones left to grab it enfskkds plus i felt nothing when natasha died like it obviously shouldv been her cause she has no one (yea yea except the avengers or whatever blah blah) while clint has an entire family to save so yea not surprised there. (also small thing cause its mostly just me but did really no one kno the requirements for the soul stone ? like u kno gamora died there n thanos got the stone n u couldnt piece the pieces together enough to plan for this ?? whatever like i said its a small thing mostly me moving on)

6) i also think they should have killed more people than they did like going from infinity war to these two deaths felt strange especially w the big ass battle AND the building getting exploded like im sorry but the fact that NO ONE died from those missiles is just sonfjknsdjknfskjd nah

7) ALSO back to the stones thing HOW would steve put the soul stone back. HOW. n like he would have to go back to where they got it which is where red skull is. RED. SKULL. UR TELLING ME WE COULD HAVE SEEN THIS INTERACTION IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GOLD. its like they even though this whole bring the stones back plan was bullshit n couldnt find a way to actually do it so they didnt show it at all n was like “nah nah its fine its fine shh look steves old now” (but i guess it wouldnt even matter anyway cause after 2014 thanos is just gone from the timeline forever i guess)

8) also merged bruce hulk is real weird to me n i dont like it that much. his overall character was fine but the whole combined hulk n bruce thing was too much of a jump for me n one of the main pulls of bruces character is his dynamic w hulk so getting rid of that completely to just have ... one big strong smart green guy just made me lose interest in him real quick. plus he looks like shrek n i hate it. 

EDIT: 9) I ALMOST FORGOT n this also might be answered in far from home but the people who were dusted missed the whole five years right ?? wer still five years in the future from infinity war right ???? so how the fuck is far from home gonna go. r they just gonna be like uhhh no yea all the major student characters from homecoming wer dusted n thats why theyr all still in high school in this movie too n even if they do that what about all their classmates n shit who werent dusted ?? n the fact that prob the majority of the grade r people who were really five years younger than them but r now kinda the same age is fucking wild n i Need them to address this. honestly dont like that the time leap was so big i get they needed that time but also i think a year wouldv had the same affect while keeping the missed time of the dusted people at a low, two years tops would have been good for me but not five whole years. of course if they handle this well in future marvel movies then ill be fine but rn im skeptical 

listen ... i think as a plain just watching for entertainment movie, endgame is good. i enjoyed it as i was watching, but as soon as u even start thinking about the shit that happens in here it all just falls apart honestly. maybe im just running off my anger for the timeline shit n later i might come to appreciate the stuff i actually liked more, but these r my thoughts as of about four hours after watching it.

#marvel #endgame #endgame spoilers #n thats my thoughts on all that #prob have more complaints cause i like to complain n nitpick #but these r my main things rn #feel free to like discuss but i Really wont be changing my mind about the time shit #like rn i feel the whole steve ending might ruin the whole film for me #which sucks but thats just how i feel rn #long post