#its okay to not know important things about society/life but like at least try to learn it

[donewiththisshitplsstop]

When I was talking about how f1 and the fia and fans are racist and a lot of you were like naur but now they've literally admitted they police Lewis different but instead of calling it racism/discrimination they call it him being a role model 💀. Yall do know this is the insidious way racists have operated since like forever like do you guys get it now orrr do I need to pull out more facts/recipes bcs I've got a lot yk.

#lewis hamilton #'f1 isnt racist' #'f1 doesn't have a culture issue' #my butt #anyways hmu if youre still confused after like *checks watch* 16 years #f1 #not but seriously i get not being keyed into f1s racism/culture issue if youre not used to looking for the signs so if ur genuinely confused #do hmu and i wont be sassy or rude bcs ignorance should be amended not punished - if people acc wanna learn if yall dont wanna learn and #still use the ignorance card than i literally have not respect #its okay to not know important things about society/life but like at least try to learn it #yk bcs of the whole doomed to repeat history if we dont learn history thing

[dramavixen]

Love and Redemption: A Fantasy Epic About How Prejudice Destroys Worlds, and How Love Pieces Them Back Together

**major spoilers for: Love and Redemption

After wrapping up a watch-through of Mysterious Lotus Casebook, my mom had the brilliant idea that we should rewatch the work that launched Cheng Yi to fame (or at the very least solidified him as the man to hire if you need someone to spit blood): Love and Redemption. 

I’m certain she only found this idea appealing because she doesn’t remember a TV show after it’s over. Credits rolling? Aight, time for the woman to clear up space on her brain’s memory drive. Meanwhile, my life flashed before my eyes as I recalled the anguish that’s synonymous with the show’s plot. But you know how things go when your mom wants something. If she says you're sitting through 44 hours of emotional torture with her, then you plant yourself on that couch until it’s over.

Ironically, Love and Redemption fares even better on rewatch. Though other xianxias have come close to its place in my heart, I’m now concerned that my palette won’t be so easily satiated again. It’s got your conventional reincarnation, warring realms, and a star-crossed romance while throwing curveball after curveball to shatter your expectations. Complex characters, too? An endgame villain who will haunt you in your sleep? You can’t ask for more. 

Just because you didn’t ask, doesn’t mean that the show won’t deliver something extra. I like to think that nothing reflects a society’s unsightly reality like a well-done fantasy, and this one hits closer to home the more time that passes. A thinly veiled commentary on human flaws and how difficult it is to be a good person, Love and Redemption is a drama for the ages.

This is going to get lengthy, so to prepare you, here’s how I’m divvying up this piece:

Part I: All of Them Are Classist

Part II: All of Them Are Sexist

Part III: All of Them Are Racist

Part IV: Love Wins All

---

Part I: All of Them Are Classist

It’s not my intention to disgust anyone right out of the gate, but we need to talk about Wu Tong. Do you hear what I hear? Yes, it’s the distant echo of Wu Tong’s nefarious laughter, resounding between the walls of my skull.

Quite simply, Wu Tong is the worst. (Or at least he would be, if it weren’t for that other fellow named Bai Lin. That dude will get a glaring spotlight later in this essay, trust me.) But it’s not for no reason.

Coming from a background of poverty, Wu Tong spends most of his young life trying to prove himself to upper class cultivators who don’t have any interest in who he is, only in what he has to offer them. He earns his place in his sect through relentless hard work. He utilizes unsportsmanlike methods in his attempts to win the battle tournament in opening episodes. It's not just a competition to him—he's directly told that if he gets anything other than first place, he can forget about keeping his place in his sect.

When he and the protagonists first meet, his prideful personality results from his inferiority complex. There’s no doubt that he’s a powerful cultivator, but the issue is how he finds that to be his only real value. He doesn't bother to be likable, because what's the point in doing that? Being likable doesn't fill an empty stomach. But the more he disrespects others in an effort to make himself appear important, the more others look down on him, and the more he overcompensates by fighting back even more. It’s a vicious cycle—one that never ends because no one involved wants to take the first step back.

Knowing what type of person he becomes, it’s hard to pity him in any capacity. However, it would still be unfair to ignore how others mistreat him before he even turns into a true enemy.

One scene that sticks out to me happens early on, where Wu Tong nearly injures Xuanji during a 1v1 battle against Minyan. The protagonist crew insists on getting payback. Okay, I’m with it. You can’t let such reckless violence slide. I guess they’ll get their revenge in a later stage of the tournament by beating him into the ground? 

Nah. That would be too reasonable. What they actually opt for is tricking him to fall into a trap by putting up a “have you seen my lost snake?” poster with a financial reward, knowing that he’ll be fooled because…he’s poor.

Sifeng: I asked around. Wu Tong was born to a family of lower status. He lives frugally. The reason he trains so hard is because he hopes to become someone powerful one day. […] Now he needs the money urgently to buy medicine and recuperate his inner strength before his next battle. Minyan: When you put it that way, doesn’t that mean he has no choice but to come for the ten night pearls?

Sifeng…oh no. Not you too.

The way Wu Tong behaves doesn’t warrant anyone being amicable toward him. I, too, have a nonexistent tolerance for obnoxious, violent egoists. But if later episodes are any evidence, this scene foreshadows that two wrongs won’t make a right. If they want to teach him a lesson, they shouldn’t stoop so low as to take advantage of his poverty. His family background is the one thing about him that isn’t his fault, yet it’s the one thing they choose to use against him. That’s what I call “going too far.”

Now that he's been hit where it hurts, Wu Tong feels justified in going too far himself. In a fit of desperation and contempt prompted by his master abandoning him, he stabs Xuanji. Not great. Things get extremely not great when you remember that Xuanji is the daughter of a sect leader. That quickly transforms Wu Tong’s attempted murder/almost manslaughter into the evilest act known to mankind. All five sects turn against him to hunt him down and kill him. I’m no law or philosophy expert, but I’m pretty sure the punishment for almost manslaughter is not the death penalty. 

The five sects can treat him as their prey because he doesn’t have a support system to counter them. If he were the son of another sect leader, the thought of killing him would never even have entered their minds. Targeting him so relentlessly has less to do with justice and more to do with exerting power over a lower-class young man who hurt someone infinitely more “important” than him. 

That imbalance between crime and punishment is what pushes Wu Tong over the edge. He goes on the run for several years before officially succumbing to the call of evil, after which he becomes truly irredeemable. Still, you’re occasionally reminded of his struggle—is he destined to be a villain? Or is throwing aside his remaining morality just his best chance at survival? 

Do you have any idea how I survived these past several years, when you were all trying to kill me? What did I do back then that was so unforgivable? Did your sister die? Was it warranted for all five sects to team up against me, an average disciple? Was it warranted to back me into a corner over and over again, to force me to claw out of hell? Open your eyes and look at me! These past four years, I’ve already died countless times. Every time, I clawed my way back out of hell. Five hundred taels? You want to take my life with a measly five hundred taels? Don’t look down on me. Touch here. I have a fake leg. That’s what your five sects have left me with. What’s that look of yours? Guilt? Pity? I’m not telling you this for you to pity me. I, Wu Tong, survived this far because I must have my revenge.

Something my mom likes to say is if you find yourself going against someone—but especially a dangerous person—you must leave a path for their survival. It’s less for their sake than it is for yours. Should you eliminate all their options, they’ll have no choice but to bite. And they’ll make sure it hurts like hell. 

As an impetuous teenager, Wu Tong is in the wrong. He needs to be taught that his actions are unacceptable. But that can’t be accomplished by putting a bounty on his head and demanding that he be murdered. That’s how you turn a scoundrel into a monster.

Minyan, Wu Tong’s foil, similarly doesn’t come from an optimal background. An orphan, he was taken in by the Shaoyang Sect without the obvious pressure that Wu Tong suffers. Even so, he can’t escape the innate inequality that seems to exist between him and his fellow disciples. It especially affects him because he’s in love with Linglong, Xuanji’s sister but more importantly…also the daughter of the sect leader! Poor guy.

When I was little, kids in the village would surround me every day and call me a bastard child with no parents. I could only pretend that I didn’t hear them. Because if I took it to heart, they would only ridicule me more. We can’t shut the mouths of people who want to slander us. But we can choose not to listen.

He may think that he’s past it, but later episodes see Minyan being manipulated using that exact insecurity. It’s easy to impersonate his master and nudge him to become a “spy” in the enemy base because he’s compelled to prove himself worthy of the sect and worthy of Linglong. Fake Sect Leader Chu Lei tells him:

When I first met you, you were only eight years old. You were homeless on the streets, starving and shivering. Still, you clung to your family dagger and refused to pawn it. In that moment, I knew that you were a child with an iron will. That’s why I’m here to find you today.

I can agree that Minyan is really stupid to immediately believe that his master, a guy well-known for pretending to do important things more than he actually does them, would tell him to do something as reckless as invade enemy territory. However, he also heeds the impostor’s instructions because realistically, his master asking him to prove himself is something that could happen. Any good disciple would naturally want to repay their masters for their favor, let alone a disciple who would otherwise have nowhere else to go.

The contrast between Minyan and Wu Tong shoves itself in your face as you watch, primarily through their respective relationships with Linglong (well, one of them has a relationship. The other is a creep. Can you guess who’s who?). Without family backing, the two men both struggle to find their place in the world, but they’re complete opposites purely because of their upbringing. Thankfully for Minyan, he found a family amongst people who don’t treat him as “another,” even if he may think of himself as such.

Wu Tong isn’t so fortunate. You can say it’s his own doing, a result of his terrible personality, but he certainly wasn’t born like that. And now someone will pay for it.

---

Part II: All of Them Are Sexist

As a caveat, I’ll mention that the main cast really could have used a woman who isn’t some combination of foolish, lovestruck, and/or loud. But I’m willing to overlook it just this once because the writers excel in highlighting both the ladies' flaws and how we as an audience exaggerate those flaws through our own preconceptions. 

Working backwards in terms of plot importance, we can start with Xiao Yinhua. Sifeng’s snake familiar in a human form, Xiao Yinhua is like most female leads from the turn of the millennium in that her only real strength is throwing temper tantrums. She’s also like most second female leads from the turn of the millennium in that she constantly prefers using underhanded tactics and harming others to achieve her goals—in other words, a snake. Oh. I guess that makes sense.

Her affections toward Sifeng cloud her already nonexistent judgment and prompt her to make some of the worst decisions made by anyone, ever. At first, I thought I was being unfair toward her because of my own internalized misogyny. But no. I can say with absolute confidence that I would abhor this character no matter what gender or creature or object she may be. She has no redeeming qualities aside from teaching us that someone foolish, lovestruck, and loud is doomed to self-sabotage. From that perspective, she’s still a valuable character to have because now we know that before we act, we should think: would Xiao Yinhua do that thing? If she would, do not do that thing. 

If Xiao Yinhua were willing to grow up, she could become more similar to Zi Hu. Zi Hu almost acts as a parallel to Sifeng—hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t return the affection for a literal thousand years. Also, both are very pretty. Ahem.

Zi Hu’s thousand years’ worth of experience gives her the skills to back up her unrelenting feelings for Wu Zhiqi. She’s a rarity in that her driving force is a man—a motivation that's typically a reputation ruiner for female characters—but you find her lovable instead of thinking that she lacks self-respect. The key is that her love isn’t blind and rash like Xiao Yinhua’s. Zi Hu has a plan to save Wu Zhiqi from his prison and she carries it out with intention. In other words, it’s okay to focus on love, but only if you can take responsibility for your feelings. 

Ting Nu: Why go so far? When did Wu Zhiqi ever tell you that he loved you? Your affections are merely one-sided. Zi Hu: When did he tell me he didn’t love me? Look, once I rescue him, he’ll have to be with me to thank me. 

Because Zi Hu is a literal fox, people suspect her both for being a demon and for being the demon notorious for seducing men to consume their souls. The latter is quickly debunked and becomes less of an issue than her just being a plain demon. I nonetheless find it hilarious how everyone balks when she shows them her harem of men gleefully living in her backyard. Yep, she’s a cunning vixen. You can just keep wishing you could join that harem.

Zi Hu: You're trying to shoo me away. You think I’ll storm out because of your petty tricks? You’re underestimating me. I’ve already decided, starting today, I’m going to follow you everywhere. Even if you don’t want me to, I’m going to cling to you. This old spirit isn’t going to let those thousand years of waiting be in vain. Wherever you go, I’m going with. If you dare sneak peeks at other pretty women, I’ll dig out your monkey eyes. All in all, if I’m around, no pretty woman can enter your vision. As if you could bear to leave me behind if I hang around for another thousand years!

Xiao Yinhua and Zi Hu aren’t overly victimized based on their gender within the show itself. For the better too, because whoever dares to do so would probably end up dead by a fox's claws and a snake's teeth. These two characters' existences test your innate view of female characters instead. What is it that matters to you in a female character? What standards do you hold against them?

(**Content warning for the below segment until the next purple break: brief mentions of sexual assault and suicide.)

And that's where we come to Linglong. Linglong is a loudmouthed spoiled brat. She's overbearing, and while she wants to protect Xuanji, her method of doing it is by crying crocodile tears and throwing temper tantrums in front of their father. No wonder she and Xiao Yinhua clash—two childish people who both have a compulsion to win arguments? Forget it.

A bulk of the drama sees Linglong’s primordial spirit being taken and held captive by Wu Tong. Wu Tong puts half of her primordial spirit into the body of a flower demon, whom he also forces to take on Linglong’s physical appearance. No other reason, he just wants to have his way with someone who looks and acts like Linglong, the person who jeered at him all those years ago. By the time the real Linglong recovers her primordial spirit, Wu Tong has done enough damage that she’s haunted by nightmares and memories of someone who assaulted her when she couldn't even fight back.

The lead-up to this arc is incredibly disturbing and takes root in the very first episode. On my first watch-through, I thought their relationship would take a classic enemies-to-lovers path. The directors and writers pull you in this direction with no subtlety, showing a smitten Wu Tong when he first lays eyes on Linglong. They then keep the scam going by having him act out in awful ways as he attempts to gain her attention. That’s right, it’s the brainwashing girls receive when they’re on the playground: “he pulls your hair because he likes you."

During their first meeting, Linglong is surrounded by a halo filter from Wu Tong’s perspective. Knowing what he’ll later do to her makes the seeming innocuousness of this scene revolting, but it's necessary. It's the first of many steps to prove that someone’s “affections” can’t be used as an excuse for harming whomever’s on the receiving end of them. 

Linglong can be an extremely annoying person. Her outspokenness and difficult temper shape her into an unlikable character, which then ensures that by the time Wu Tong captures her, the audience almost instinctively wants to say that it’s her fault. We all know the talk track: “he liked her, so why couldn’t she just have been nicer to him? She asked for it by being mean to him.”

When Linglong first offends Wu Tong, it isn’t for no reason: she’s angry because he endangers her sister’s life over and over again. Admittedly, she goes overboard in her retaliation against him. So what? Linglong being mean to Wu Tong and Wu Tong later targeting her are indeed connected events, but the former doesn't justify the latter. If we say that the five sects hunting Wu Tong down isn’t a fair punishment, then isn’t it also unfair for him to turn the tables on her in such a way? 

Essentially, Linglong isn’t the “ideal” victim. That’s what makes her arc all the more heartbreaking. To this day, society wants to find any excuses for the assailant. Any mistake, any flaw of the victim's will be used against her. As humans, maybe it’s instinct for us to hope that bad things only happen to bad people, and victim-blaming is our twisted way of making that an impossible reality. 

Overcome with depression and trauma, Linglong is unable to come to terms with what Wu Tong did to her. Men gossip about her and her “relationship” with the enemy, sometimes harassing her straight to her face. Wu Tong himself finds great delight in taunting her about her “sharing his bed,” not only relishing the memories but also enjoying how much it torments her.

Linglong: It was my fault that I was captured by Wu Tong, wasn’t it? [...] Everyone thinks so. I didn’t want to be captured by Wu Tong. But after Wu Tong said all those things, everyone thinks so. Minyan: Linglong, why care about what everyone else thinks? Just pretend that you didn’t hear any of it. Linglong: But I did hear them. Why do I need to pretend I didn’t? It’s something that actually happened, so why do I need to play dumb and trick myself into thinking it didn’t? Are you going to be like them too, and mock me?

All the accusations brainwash her into thinking everything is her fault. To Wu Tong and all the people judging her, she’s nothing but a pawn to be used for their own entertainment. And once she and Minyan leave the protection of the sect, everyone finds her an easy target to push around. Hoping that her death will mean freedom for both herself and her loved ones, she attempts to drown herself before being yanked back to life and reality by Minyan.

Linglong’s struggle is many women’s worst nightmare. It’s also a diligent representation of PTSD, something that I normally wouldn’t expect from a xianxia drama. Even after she's rescued and everyone tells her that her suffering is over, it never feels over for her. At night, Lingling is awoken by harrowing dreams of Wu Tong returning to kidnap her once again:

Nightmare!Wu Tong: You’ll always belong to me. You can’t escape.

The conclusion to her arc being Wu Tong’s death and his literal letting go of her may be quite idealistic. But I prefer to think that giving Linglong her happy ending is the writers’ way of trying to assuage our fears, of showing us that there will always be another sunrise regardless of what happens.

(**Content warning end.)

Linglong becomes the drama’s strongest woman-centric plot, and I really love that the writers did it with a character whose personality isn't the most appealing. She's the imperfect woman we can find in every corner of the world, a representation of women overall instead of the minority who are considered "deserving" of justice.

Next to her, Xuanji also gets a short end of the stick. She's constantly being pushed to marry Hao Chen. Every excuse in the book is used against her: they're a fated couple, he's the only one that can take care of her, doesn't she agree that this is a part of her duty? No matter how logically she objects to it, no one really cares what she thinks. If she objects, she’s being headstrong, and that’s the end of it. (More on Xuanji to come in Part IV of this essay.)

And aside from Bai Lin’s more obvious transgressions (we're getting to those), what really irked me is just how twisted he makes the God of War’s rebellion appear in others’ eyes. The logic turns quickly from “Bai Lin must have done something wrong” into “the God of War must have been in love with Bai Lin and grew resentful that he rejected her.” I guess it’s very believable that the God of War would want to destroy the entire universe because some guy wouldn’t date her? That’s right, you can be the most accomplished woman in your field and someone will still want to attribute everything you do to being motivated by romance.

Naturally, the next question is—why is Bai Lin such a weirdo? Why does he insist on turning his friend Luohou Jidu, a man, into a woman when creating the God of War? Hmm. I smell a waft of homophobia...

---

Part III: All of Them Are Racist

And except for a small minority, I really mean "all of them" this time. Humans and celestial beings are racist toward demons. Demons are racist back toward humans and celestial beings. If you asked both sides who started it, they'd point at the other without hesitation. "They started it. By existing."

I don’t even know where to start with this topic. Part of me believes this entire section of analysis could be extraneous—do I really need to do a deep dive when you could just click a random timestamp of a random episode and have a 50% chance of finding a character saying something incredibly racist? No case studies necessary. The drama is the case study.

Obviously, while I may say that all the different races are racist toward one another, some are notably more egregious in their discrimination than others. The five sects, being in power, are the worst offenders. Every other second, someone is reminding another that they need to wipe out demons. Just the utterance of the word “demon” makes them froth at the mouth. In their possession, they have treasure troves of weapons and magical devices whose collective main purpose is to identify and kill demons. Perhaps you know someone in real life who thinks that hating something is a personality trait—that’s the five sects in a nutshell.

Zi Hu and Ting Nu are continuously snubbed for not being human even after they’ve long proven that they’re more help than harm. Ting Nu is a doctor, but even saving Hao Chen doesn’t make them think of him as anything but a demon who is evil in his very bones. Demons can do everything right, but the high and mighty humans are too pure and innocent to associate with them…aside from killing and torturing them, of course.

Highlighted Exhibit A: Sifeng almost being tortured and whipped to death based on the mere suspicion that he’s a demon. The fact that he is one doesn’t matter. His assailants operate on the doctrine that they’d rather kill an innocent person than let a demon roam free. Every action to rid the world of a demon is a virtuous one. It's a reenactment of the Monty Python witch trial but they're being completely serious. 

Highlighted Exhibit B: the other sects band together to wipe out Lize Palace without solid confirmation as to whether they’re all demons. They’re operating on the same principle as in Exhibit A, so at least you can praise them for being consistent.

Highlighted Exhibit C: before Sifeng is revealed to be a pretty bird, Xuanji’s repeated defense of him consists of "Sifeng isn’t a demon." The main purpose of these lines is to instill further fear into Sifeng and give him more reason to keep lying to her, all while Xuanji's trust in him deepens. But is it also some of her lingering innate judgment seeping through? A subconscious understanding that her family and sect will never accept a demon as her boyfriend? Well, joke’s on them because he’s one hot bird.

So how are you supposed to survive as a demon? Lize Palace results from the humans’ desire to eradicate an entire race of demons. Just as Wu Tong is driven only by revenge, the demons of Lize Palace just need to survive for long enough to one day remove their masks and live as themselves. Humans’ endless thirst for blood does nothing but fuel demons’ fire of rebellion and keep the wheel of tragedy turning.

As for the “bad guys” of Tianxu Hall? At least when they commit the same acts of evil as the other five sects, they’re willing to admit that being evil isn’t beyond them.

Yuan Lang is an extremely successful villain for this very reason. All of us love Yuan Lang, so much that we start grinning whenever he comes on-screen with his fan and sarcastic mouth. So much that when it's revealed he's been consuming people's souls, all my mom had to say about it was: “Oh. That's mean of him.”

He plots and he lies and he murders, but he doesn’t put up a facade of holding himself to a lofty moral standard. It’s also quite telling that while Yuan Lang machinates behind the scenes, 90% of his time is spent standing by and calling others out on their bullshit. Everyone around him creates their own downfall. He just happens to benefit from their stupidity.

Man with a fan and a plan. I like. 

Even so, Yuan Lang isn’t invulnerable to emotion. One of my absolute favorite scenes is where Di Lang sacrifices himself so Yuan Lang can make a getaway. It’s the only instance of Yuan Lang being subject to the pain of caring about someone else. Those short moments contrast so starkly against the sects’ inhumanity that suddenly, a revolution doesn’t seem all that bad.

Behind the bulky mask, his despair is apparent. Man. This actor’s come a long way since his F4—I mean, H4 days. If you've never watched Let's Go Watch Meteor Shower Together, don't.

Finally, we arrive on the topic of Bai Lin. Oh, boy. I still haven’t watched Blood of Youth because seeing the actor’s face triggers my fight-or-flight response. And it’s been years.

Bai Lin, the one racist to rule them all. The guy must have a handbook on “How to Be Racist” or something—how else could the contempt that spews from his mouth, the spark of repugnance in his eyes, and the brazen obstinacy in his opinions be so immaculate?

The entire drama consists of setting the stage for the full reveal of Bai Lin turning Luohou Jidu into a weapon of war to be used against his own people. By the time all the pieces fall into place, you’ve already witnessed the tragedy created by discriminatory practices between mortals. You've seen how Sifeng is targeted and Xuanji forced to move her hand against him. You've seen how the sects use their power to harm instead of help. You've seen how demons plot their revenge for centuries. Once Bai Lin is confirmed to be the genesis of all that, there’s nothing left for you to feel but utter revulsion.

Bai Lin: Celestial beings and demons cannot coexist. How could my Heavenly Realm possibly hold a marriage with the Devil Tribe? Luohou Jidu: Celestial beings and demons cannot coexist...Then why do you drink with me today? Why are you friends with me? Bai Lin: Naturally, Brother Jidu, you’re different from other demons and devils. Out of all the demons and devils in this world, Brother Jidu is my only friend.

Can’t believe he even pulls the "you’re one of the good ones" card.

Bai Lin, practitioner of unethical tactics: his ultimate decision to trick and use Luohou Jidu results from racism-induced paranoia. He simply can’t believe that his friend will remain his friend, not unless he becomes "one of us." He thinks the God of War should appreciate that he's given her power and invested his time and energy in her tenth reincarnation, going so far as fool her into thinking that they loved each other once upon a time. Once Xuanji shows herself capable of independent thought, he doesn’t hesitate in turning against her and manipulating her to destroy her own self. He eventually sacrifices the entire world for the Heavenly Realm's survival. After all, what's the value of an entire planet's human and demon population in the face of his power?

He's the representation of what happens when those in power, those who have the best chance of righting wrongs and preventing more from happening, decide to perpetuate the problem. At the same time, he presents the predicament that those we rely on to give us justice are also victims of their own emotions and fears.

I venture to say that Bai Lin is the best-written antagonist in modern xianxia. He’s ruthless but has a moral compass, albeit one that only points in one direction—toward himself. His hubris aside, you have to admit that he genuinely believes he's acting for the greater good. The ends justify the means because he thinks he’s bettering the world.

Bai Lin makes awful decisions that involve genocide and cruelty because he operates on a strict utilitarian philosophy. "I do what I think will bring the best results, even if it means sacrificing something huge in the process." He’s the most dangerous character and the person we should also fear in real life because he’ll stop at nothing to create his definition of a paradise.

It would be easy to dismiss him as simply being a bad person. However, this show draws from reality in that every person exists in a gray area between good and bad. You can lean one way or the other, but you don’t fall completely into either. And that’s the foundation of the show's conflicts. Everyone's so busy trying to define what’s right and wrong that they’ve lost sight of basic compassion.

When he’s finally faced with the consequences of his actions, Bai Lin is driven to despair. He feels true remorse over what he’s done, but only because he’s fortunate enough to actually witness how the thousand-year conflict wouldn't have existed without him. We as people aren’t so lucky—those “what if”s will forever remain in the shrouded realm of impossibility.

Heavenly Emperor: You always thought that evil had sparked in the hearts of the God of War and Luohou Jidu. But the one in whom evil truly sparked was you. All things and happenings in this world are originally empty. From emptiness comes meaning. Yin and yang reverse; they support and restrain one another. The Heavenly Realm was originally empty. The Asura, too, was empty. If all is empty, then how could the Heavenly Realm be superior; and the Mortal Realm, Demon Realm, and Devil Realm be inferior? Your excessive concern for the safety of the Heavenly Realm prompted evil to take root in your heart, unable to be undone.

Seeing him in such despair almost makes me feel bad for him. Maybe I do have too much sympathy.

At this point, it's already too late to repair the damage he's caused, a realization that causes him further anguish. He rids himself of his divinity to show his remorse and accepts death. But he's already caused so much pain to everyone else. Who can put back together the world that he's destroyed?

---

Part IV: Love Wins All

(We love IU for her perfect song that also gave me the best possible final section title.)

As I seek to be conscious of my own biases, I once wondered: why is it that shaking my head at a female character for being dedicated to a man comes so naturally to me, but I can’t be more gleeful to see Sifeng put his heart out on a platter for Xuanji? Perhaps I’m also sexist. Perhaps I have double standards.

Then I thought about it some more and realized everyone loves Sifeng because he’s so blatantly unrealistic that you’re immediately able to sink yourself into his fictional beauty. He transcends gender norms because there is no person of any gender who would go to the extent that he does for Xuanji, nor is there anyone who could remain as levelheaded when faced with some of the most shameless people known to mankind. Forget all the people flying on swords and uttering magic spells. The biggest absurdity in Love and Redemption is its male lead. Yes, I'm a skeptic. But we're so lucky to have him.

Sifeng grew up in a bizarrely backwards environment where—instead of girls needing to cover up to not attract men’s attention—all men need to protect themselves by wearing masks and not associating with the opposite sex. Brainwashed for years to believe that Lize Palace is the only safe space for golden fire birds like himself, he keeps cautious around people while still harboring a subconscious longing for their warmth.

In my entire life, I never knew what a "friend" is. I finally understand now, the meaning of "fervent friendship."

Sifeng is established as the loyal lover extremely quickly. He's whipped—figuratively and literally—for Xuanji, his sheltered childhood leaving him defenseless against her unintentionally flirtatious mannerisms. He teaches her about her lost senses without judgment, nurtures limitless patience with her and others by proxy, and isn't afraid to question the status quo.

We love Sifeng for his wisdom and levelheadedness. He sees things for what they are and is commonly the voice of empathy and reason within a world of selfishness. The entire show is Sifeng going, "I might as well do it myself" in every situation because no one else cares, is capable enough, or both. He's the guy in group projects who quietly does everything and doesn't even get mad that you're the most useless team member ever. What a saint.

In the xianxia universe, he's distinct husband material (which isn’t saying much since the bar there is so low that you'd need to dig yourself a grave to reach it—which is also great because then you already have a place to go once your xianxia spouse gets you killed. I digress). His loyalty to not only others, but also who he is and what he wants, leaves him able to counter the complacency with hatred and evil permeating the world around him.

With his endless empathy, he's able to understand Luohou Jidu. While Sifeng's earliest motivation in facing the greatest devil is only to save Xuanji, he later views Luohou Jidu as an individual with his own sufferings. He's the only one to truly view Luohou Jidu as himself, not someone to eliminate, not just an extension of Xuanji. To Sifeng, everyone deserves a chance to be heard before a verdict is passed over them.

Not to mention, these two’s interactions are absolutely hilarious. I wish I could've seen the extensive conversations that must’ve went on in the censorship agency over them. 

Fellas, is it gay to clasp a guy’s hands within your own and stare deeply into his eyes while reminiscing about your loving relationship if he’s technically got a woman captive in his brain? 

But perhaps what shines the brightest about Sifeng is how he suffers. He's so pretty when he suffers. Wait. That's not my point.

When his Lovers’ Curse triggers for the first time, Xiao Yinhua speaks the gospel that a lot of the audience probably has in mind: "you did so much for her, you were so good to her, but she doesn’t love you back." And it sounds kind of right? But also kind of not? Then Sifeng opens his mouth and you think, "oh, crap, I've been brainwashed by misogyny yet again."

She never asked me to like her. If someone wants to kill another just because she doesn’t reciprocate their feelings, then that person will never be loved. They also don’t deserve to love another.

Again and again, Sifeng puts himself in harm's way to keep loving Xuanji. Sure, he wants her to love him back, but that's secondary to his desire to be honest with his own feelings.

With the bright beacon of light that is Sifeng’s blinding love, I feel most viewers overlook Xuanji’s capabilities as a female lead. Her comparative passiveness in the relationship makes it seem as if she doesn’t love him enough. I attribute this to the same reason as our previous conclusions, that female characters in romance dramas have a harder time garnering the audience’s approval than their male counterparts. Are we innately more judgmental toward women, or is the standard for men still so low that we’re already impressed when a guy surpasses the bare minimum? Probably both.

It's easy to forget that Xuanji is the one who's nice to Sifeng first. When they first meet, Xuanji literally falls into his arms. Then he just…drops her. (And they say chivalry is dead.) But Xuanji doesn’t care.

The rules of his sect push Sifeng into being a bit of a porcupine in his demeanor. He puts up a wall against everyone, but especially Xuanji. After all, as an innocent boy, Sifeng needs to protect himself from evil women. Or something.

Xuanji is the one who can't take the hint tries to befriend him and tears down his wall with the gentle, graceful nature of a sledgehammer. She insists that she'll retrieve his lost mask because she knows it's important to him. When she discovers that Sifeng is punished over it, Xuanji is the one to point out how unfair it is. Her straightforwardness and sense of principle are the reason Sifeng begins to open up at all.

Xuanji: I’m the one who took off his mask. If you want to hit someone, hit me. [...] Not to mention, he almost died trying to get his mask back. So I'd like to ask you, Palace Leader, is Sifeng's life more important, or is that mask more important?

She knows no fear, so she doesn't consider emotionless rules to be worth anything if they cause pain for the people she cares about. In many ways, Xuanji is the one who teaches Sifeng to stand up for what he believes in.

That Xuanji lacks her six senses makes her the least susceptible to the prejudicial habits of her surroundings. She accepts what they believe, that demons are bad, but only because that's all she knows. Whereas most of her peers are content remaining in their ignorance, this supposedly heartless gal is curious about the world. She can easily abandon her preconceptions in favor of what she witnesses the world to be.

It takes constant practice and tests for Xuanji to completely shed her old beliefs. The introduction of Zi Hu marks the beginning of her growth. Xuanji, concerned and angry that Zi Hu is holding her friends captive, fully intends on killing the fox until Ting Nu reasons with her:

Ting Nu: Zi Hu isn’t a malicious demon. You shouldn’t threaten her life. Xuanji: But she kidnapped my friends. How can I spare her? [...] No. She did bad things, so I have to kill her. Ting Nu: [...] Zi Hu has never actually harmed anybody. She’s simply misguided by her anxieties. You should spare her life. […] If you discover that she’s actually committing malicious acts, you could kill her then, no?

If it were Minyan or Linglong in her position, you could bet that they'd ignore Ting Nu. For one, he's a merman, so of course he'd protect another demon. To Xuanji's credit, she really does give Zi Hu—and Ting Nu—the benefit of the doubt. Does she have to? No. But she does anyway.

If Sifeng’s love comes naturally, then Xuanji’s comes through determination. Who's to say that one is inherently better than the other? It takes ten lifetimes for her to understand a semblance of love. She wants dearly to understand what it means to "like" someone, even though she's already the least unafraid to show how much she cares about others.

After she successfully grows the heart light for Sifeng, I don't think anyone is more excited than Xuanji herself. Look how proud she is. Obviously, she's happy she can use it to protect him, but I imagine that she also views it as the clearest proof that she’s as human as anybody else and as capable of loving as anyone else. Sifeng may be stunned when the heart light disappears, but Xuanji falls despondent—she really wants Sifeng to be someone important to her.

People sometimes struggle to see past Xuanji’s initial naivety. They're especially harsh toward her for not seeing what Sifeng has sacrificed for her until it’s almost too late. It's true, the drama primarily favors Sifeng's perspective, so it's easy to only see what he’s done and ignore Xuanji’s efforts.

In spite of warnings from Sifeng himself to not do so, Xuanji emerges to save him from the third lash of the demon whip. You go, girl.

Love isn’t a competition. But for the sake of the discussion, let's say proof is needed that Xuanji’s effort in the relationship matches Sifeng’s. In that case, the important part is looking at what they sacrifice in a relative scope instead of an absolute one.

The things that Sifeng sacrifices are astronomical. He climbs a tower blustering with an eternal blizzard and puts on the Lovers' Curse mask. He stands right in the middle of the conflict between humans and demons even though there’s no way humans will spare him. He gets stabbed…a lot. But everything he does is a result of his own will and careful calculations—they’re all things he knows he can take responsibility for.

Sifeng's major flaw is that he's a massive liar. He's not right to lie, but he's also right to be scared about what would happen if he doesn't. As a demon, he knows what happens to anyone who isn't distinctly human. That's why he conceals his identity from Xuanji.

Then, once he discovers that Xuanji is also the reincarnation of the Star of Mosha, his fear is ignited again for her sake. Xuanji has almost always been defined by what she is, not who. She's berated for being useless when she doesn’t have her six senses. The moment she’s revealed to have the God of War's power, suddenly everyone finds her more than useful. If she's publicly revealed to be the Star of Mosha, then she'd be killed without question, and the person that is “Xuanji” will also cease to exist. Just as he doesn’t want Xuanji to view him and as anything other than himself, Sifeng doesn't want anyone else to view Xuanji as anyone other than herself. That's also why out of everyone, the one person he must keep the Star of Mosha secret from is Xuanji herself.

When Sifeng's lies begin to unfold, Xuanji is left to handle the mess he's inadvertently created. Suddenly discovering that he's a demon and also protective of the demon that possibly murdered her mother, Xuanji is torn. Her wavering faith in him isn't because of his identity, but because he lied to her.

Zi Hu: Do you dislike it that much, that [Sifeng] is a demon? Xuanji: Should I not? Zi Hu: Well, you healed my wounds. And you’re friends with me and Ting Nu, a merman. As for little Sifeng, he’s not a malicious demon who harms people. I don’t think he was aware of what went on with Tianxu Hall and Lize Palace. Xuanji: That’s different! He shouldn’t have lied to me. He’s the person I trust the most. But he even kept from me who he is. Then, all the things he told me and did with me in the past…what part of it all was real and what was fake? Zi Hu: What’s real and what’s fake? Can’t you just drag him over here and ask him? If he’s a scumbag, just kill him. But if there’s any misunderstandings, the two of you should clear them up. Resolve them and see what solutions there are. When two people are together, the scariest thing is misunderstanding one another for no reason. If you lose each other, that might be the end, forever. You’d regret that. 

And then she eventually does try to kill him. Good going, Zi Hu.

Xuanji's main conflict in the latter half of the drama is that she wants to find a solution that satisfies everyone, an impossible dilemma. Everyone starts pressuring her to lead the charge against the demons. It's her duty as the God of War, isn't it? Oh, but if she doesn't want to, it's because she's in love with the enemy. But she can't be in love with the enemy. She's the God of War, after all.

That’s the duplicitous world that Xuanji lives in. Yet, without knowing why he's been dishonest or what else he could be lying about, she still chooses to believe in Sifeng—even if it means being treated as a traitor herself and being further guilt-tripped. She's bound to her duty, family, and the expectations that come along with that. Going against them in any capacity is a challenge to her entire livelihood and the moral standards imposed on her. If you take that into account, suddenly the things that she risks don’t pale in comparison what Sifeng does for her.

As an omniscient audience, it's easy for us to say that she doesn't do enough, that she should know better. It's an interesting thought experiment to wonder what else she could do in such a situation. Her boyfriend lies to her. She believes he has a reason, believes in him when he tells her to trust him. She defends him repeatedly to people who don't even care to listen unless it's to interrupt and call her crazy. She lies to her father that she'll devote herself to killing demons like Sifeng so they'll stop calling her crazy and threatening her. Then, when she goes to rescue Sifeng from Mingxia Cave, he's suddenly getting passive-aggressive with her: “oh, what does the mighty God of War need from a lowly demon like me that she deigns to talk to me?” Bro…if I were her, I might just ditch him in a fit of rage. That's how you want to play? Have fun turning into frozen poultry in this cave, then.

Obviously, more is going on behind the scenes that Xuanji is completely unaware of. Sifeng almost dies from her fire magic that Hao Chen stole. The broken hairpin. And okay, I'll admit that her saying that she'll kill him while he's eavesdropping outside is not a great look. But come on, Sifeng. Where have your critical thinking skills gone? If you can lie, don’t you think Xuanji can too? And after all that, she still instinctively shields him from her father’s sword.

Sifeng. In this case, I do have to criticize you in a serious manner. Do you have any idea how hard it was for Xuanji to finally try to get herself stabbed for you, only for you to go “no, me” and get stabbed again? Do you have a sword-magnet in your chest?

Then Sifeng tells her that he’s never loved her and was only using her because he’s Luohou Jidu, the world's biggest villain. And she still can't bear to hurt him. When Xuanji discovers that Hao Chen has tricked her into using a so-called “Purifying Vase” to doom Sifeng to a painful death, she's furious:

Xuanji: For my own good? You want me to practice the Method of Love, but you also want me to be heartless. I can’t be so contradictory. Hao Chen: I told you to practice the Method of Love through feelings between you and me, not for you to continuously absorb yourself in your fixation on Sifeng! Xuanji, don’t forget. Our marriage is one determined by the heavens. It’s destiny. Xuanji: The heavens determine nothing. If they do, then why did they make Sifeng and I meet in our past nine lives? What a joke of the heavens. Hao Chen: So, you’d rather resign yourself to your doomed fate with that demon than stay properly by my side? Xuanji: Fate isn’t split into a virtuous or doomed one. I hate myself for loving Sifeng before, and we won’t ever be together again. But since I already gave him my love, I won’t take it back.

But of course, Hao Chen has more tricks up his Mary Poppins sleeves. He pulls out all the stops and uses his last breath to manipulate her into stabbing Sifeng. Oh my god. Look at all these trust issues, just making themselves readily available.

Her stabbing him is, how do you say, very bad. But let’s be honest, she’s seen him survive worse. I don't have a nifty conclusion is here, but basically, she subconsciously knows he'll get over it (physically, at least).

Of course, Sifeng is heartbroken. It's intensified by the tragic fate of his father. His father’s goal was always to protect Sifeng from the dangers posed by the racist five sects, led primarily by fabricated memories that his lover Hao Feng was driven to suicide by her own family. When Yuan Lang reveals the truth, that Hao Feng's fear of demons trumped her love for her husband, it’s intense foreshadowing of Sifeng and Xuanji’s relationship. Maybe Xuanji isn't like Hao Feng and she can cross the rift between humans and demons, meeting Sifeng in the middle. But finally, she still retreats, away from him. Her betrayal, now the tenth in all their lifetimes, leads Sifeng to leave behind some of the most truthful but hurtful words for Xuanji to deal with:

I finally understand why my fate turned out as it did in all my past nine lives. From beginning to end, you have always been a heartless person.

It’s not fair to ask Sifeng to keep considering Xuanji’s feelings under the brunt of her violent wrath. But just as she has no idea what he’s been doing to protect her, he has no idea what she’s been doing to protect him. Zi Hu is right again: nothing poses a greater danger to a couple than misunderstandings. And racism.

The ultimate resolution only occurs once Xuanji recovers the memories of their past lives. Congratulations, Sifeng. After a millennium of pining, your love has finally touched the heart of your beloved. Indeed, it might take a long time getting there, but love will find a way.

I love the short scenes that show the God of War and Xi Xuan's quiet but gentle relationship. Xi Xuan is the only one who cares that the God of War wants her own identity, then gives her a moment in which she doesn't have to wear her armor, just as Sifeng does everything in his power to let Xuanji be "Xuanji." Through all their lives, Sifeng is the one who recognizes her for who she is and wants to make her happy, even if she doesn't have a heart.

Activate: Xuanji, shameless mode. After Xuanji tracks down Sifeng in his solitude, they return to their days as teenagers. Xuanji acts like a fool in front of him, demanding his attention, and Sifeng only wants to get her the hell out of his house. It's not only a reminder of the times when things were a lot simpler, but also of how far they've come.

She intends on marrying Sifeng. Even if her father doesn't approve, she no longer cares. There's not enough time left in the world to hesitate about the people you love to satiate someone who can't be satisfied. Just as Sifeng upends his whole life for her, she's willing to do the same.

And as Sifeng is dying, Xuanji makes the ultimate decision to become the Star of Mosha. This isn't a reckless move done just to save him. Rather, her faith in Sifeng has strengthened into steel after all they've been through. Even if the world ends, she knows that a little bird with unshakable resolve will come get her. For two people who have spent most of their time as a pair of parallel lines, never to coincide, this is their point of intersection—a challenge that they'll face together, even if they're apart.

Sifeng: Xuanji, stop! I'd rather die than watch you become a devil for me! Xuanji: Sifeng, I can't consider all that now. I have to save you! Whether I be the Star of Mosha or the God of War, I don't care. I just need you to be okay. Sifeng. If I become Luohou Jidu, you absolutely can't forget me. Remember to bring me back! I cry during this scene. Then I immediately start laughing at Sifeng's gobsmacked expression once Luohou Jidu shows up. It just reads "but...my girlfriend..."

And Xuanji's right. Sifeng is the solution. No one else can save Luohou Jidu, the God of War, and the world by extension. Luohou Jidu's pain results from being betrayed purely because of his identity as a devil, but Sifeng becomes the confidante that Bai Lin pretended to be. The God of War's pain comes from having no self-identity, but Xi Xuan gives her the ability to seek one and accompanies her for a thousand years to help her find it. The suffering that Bai Lin set into motion would lead to a ceaseless cycle of revenge and a destruction of the world’s good due to its sins, but Sifeng alone convinces Luohou Jidu and the God of War that there's something in life worth keeping. But you have to fight for it, and persistently, because good things only come to those who are willing to chase after them.

Xuanji to Bai Lin: I won’t mess with someone else’s life so simply due to my own matters, even if that person is someone as despicable as you. Sifeng once said that using hate to obtain vengeance is an endless cycle. In this life, I already have something that matters more to me than that. I have no space to keep my hatred.

I know it can sound cheesy to say that the best revenge is living a happy life. But Love and Redemption can convert even the most insistent of cynics—me, for example. People will practice evil whether or not there’s a reason for it and whether or not those consequences will ripple out into a tsunami that will engulf the world. Only true, honest love can hope to settle the uneasy sea. It’s why Zi Hu gives Wu Zhiqi something to live for other than war. It’s why Linglong and Minyan have a reason to persist alongside one another. It's why Luohou Jidu gives his heart and life to Sifeng. It’s why Sifeng is able to save Xuanji. It's why the three realms are blessed with the chance to keep finding a reason to persist.

Sifeng and Xuanji’s story is a journey of overcoming all odds; of learning to love someone unconditionally not because it’s easy, but because you want to; of letting that love grow into a ray of hope in the world. Yes, if we let it, love wins all.

Sifeng: Your heart has become one of flesh and blood. It couldn’t bear to destroy the three realms. Because…it’s a heart that I held and warmed in my hands, bit by bit.

#love and redemption #琉璃 #scribbles* #originally this was only going to be about the racism #then the further i got the more i thought “well you can't just talk about the racism and not everything else” #and after adding “everything else” i figured i might as well do a sifeng/xuanji relationship analysis while i was at it #so here we are #it's below 10k words though :D so still bite-sized? ...lol

[jimblejamblewritings]

Our Violent Delights Will Not Have Violent Ends: The Twilight Saga Rewrite (Book 1, Twilight) | Part 2.

Summary: Y/N Swan is just like every other girl and she likes it that way. Normal is fantastic. Normal creates a functioning member of society. Normal is the reason she moved to a small town to live with her police officer father... only to find out that she gets the farthest thing from what she wanted. This is a re-write of Twilight.

Warnings for the Series: light violence, light angst, light smut

Warnings for the Chapter: none

Pairing: Edward Cullen x reader, Jacob Black x reader

Word Count: 3.4k

The entirety of the lunch period, you couldn’t find the stomach to eat much. Your bowl of tomato soup only had a few spoonfuls taken out of it. But all the saltine crackers were gone. You had gone over and over in your head what you would say to Edward. Now that he was here, you couldn’t remember anything. You had never been in a real confrontation anymore. You took a glance at his table again. 

He looked different than before. Not terribly different, but enough that you noticed. His skin looked less pale and less stretched over his skeleton. The dark circles underneath his eyes aren’t there anymore either. Now, you could see why people said he looked perfect. 

The bell rang and you silently cursed. You couldn’t have been given more time? Reluctantly, you went with Eric and Mike to your biology class. Eric and you looked over when Mike started frantically digging in his backpack. 

“Ah, shit. Hey, tell Mr. Donoghue that I left my textbook in my car and I’m going to get it.” 

“Okay.” 

Mike ran as fast as possible while the two of you continued going to class. Eric sighed before turning to face you as you stood right in front of the doorway to bio class. 

“Hey, so, about prom, I’m the one in charge of communicating with the dj. I’ve lived my whole life here so I know my music choice sucks so I’m gonna need your playlist.” 

“Okay, when?” you asked as you pulled out yout phone to jot down that note. 

“As long as it’s before the month ends, that’s cool. And then dates…  I was wondering do you think Ang—” 

“How you liking the rain, Arizona?” Mike shook out his baseball cap that got soaked in the rain from the run to his car. 

“Guys! Class is about to start. Please take your seats,” Mr. Donoghue cut off whatever Eric was trying to say. If it was important, he’d get back to you later. 

Unfortunately, his lab partner and your lab partner were back so you had to sit with Edward Cullen. There was a slight smile on his face as you walked towards your lab bench. Before you got a chance to say the prepared speech, he spoke. 

“Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself the other day. I’m Edward Cullen.” His voice was smooth like coffee and somewhat low in its sound. “You’re Y/F/N Swan, right?”  

“Y/N.” 

You didn’t give him a chance to say anything else, turning your head to listen to Mr. Donoghue’s lesson. He must have been in cahoots with the universe because his assignment was partner work. The prize? A golden onion that has no value until he comes up with what it stands for. At least only one person could look through the microscope at a time. Edward pushed the device towards you. 

“Ladies, first.” 

“Why were you gone?” You looked in the microscope. “And it better be a good answer too… It’s prophase.” 

“Mind if I check?...Yeah, I was out of town for a couple days. It’s prophase.” 

“Like I said and the empty chair next to me told me that much.” 

“Personal reasons.” 

“Do personal reasons involve rude interactions?” 

“Uh, no. I’m sorry about that. It wasn’t the best day for me before you showed up to class.”  

“Apology accepted, I guess.” 

“So are you enjoying the rain?... What?”

You tried to stop laughing. “You’re asking me about the weather?” 

“Yeah, I guess I am.” 

“Well, no, not really. I’m not really a fan of any cold or wet place.” 

Edward chuckled as he checked another slide. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” He shook his head. “It’s anaphase.” 

“Mind if I check… Anaphase.” 

“Like I said,” he joked. “If you don’t like the rain then why did you move to the wettest place in the continental United States?” 

“Baseball.” 

“Baseball? It’s also anaphase. Do you want to check it?” 

“No, I believe you.” 

Edward listened intently as you retold your story to yet another person about why you were in Forks, asking questions when necessary. You guys continued to do your work and talk. He carried the golden onion prize as he escorted you to your locker. 

“Why didn’t you move with your mother and Phil?” 

“Moving once means moving again. Phil could get a second contract next year and we’d be in California or Maine or some stupid place like Delaware.” 

“But now you’re unhappy staying here?” 

“It’s complicated.” 

Edward paused. “I’m sorry, I’m asking too much. I’m just trying to figure you out. You’re very difficult for me to read.” 

“Well, asking questions like a normal human bei— hey, did you get contacts?” 

“No.” 

“I swear your eyes were black last time I saw you, now it’s like a golden brown color.” 

“Uh, no. It’s the fluorescents.” 

He walked away before you could say anything else. You didn’t see Edward until school ended and you went to your truck. He and his siblings seemed to be looking directly at you but you thought you were just being paranoid. You turned back around to dig through your bag for your keys. The screeching of tires caught your attention but it was too late. Tyler’s van was barrelling towards you and your feet couldn’t seem to move. 

Now was not the time to find out that your flight or fight response was the dreaded third option of freeze. You could see Edward, four cars away, staring at you in horror. His mouth dropped open. The same as all the other faces that were about to witness your death. Almost everything moved in slow motion.

The hunk of blue metal slid towards you, you felt something grab your waist, you were pulled down to the ground, and a pale hand was on the van that wasn’t hitting you. You stared at the dent in the metal caused by the hand before turning your head to make eye contact with Edward. 

He stared at you for a moment before letting go of you and running away. You were suddenly surrounded by people asking if you were alright. None of them seemed to have noticed Edward wasn’t there. The next thing you knew, you blacked out. 

The lights of the hospital were blinding when you finally came to your senses. The door opened with a vengeance and in strolled your very anxious father. He wouldn’t calm down no matter how much you tried to speak with him, threatening Tyler’s license and everything. It’s not like it was his fault his tires skidded on ice. You mouthed an apology before shutting the small curtain that divided the two hospital beds. 

“Dad, Dad I’m fine. Okay? I was lucky that Edward was there, no injuries.” 

“Edward?” Charlie turns to Dr. Cullen. “Your boy?” 

You cut in before the doctor could even get the chance to say anything. It seemed like he was going to lie. 

“Yeah, he got to me so quickly.” 

Dr. Cullen gave you a tight smile. “It sounds like you were very lucky. You just need to sign some paperwork, Charlie, and then you are good to go.” 

After Charlie signed the paperwork, he went to warm up the car before we had to drive to the school to get my car and then drive home. You turned the corner to one of the vending machines when you stopped after seeing Carlisle, Edward, and Rosalie talking with each other. It didn’t seem like a friendly conversation either. They were definitely arguing. As if they could hear you just breather, the three of them turned towards you. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” you asked. 

Edward looked reluctantly as he made his way towards you. “What?” 

“How did you get over to me so quickly?” 

“Y/N, what are you talking about? I was standing right next to you.” 

“No, you weren’t. Don’t try to lie through this either. You were across the parking lot. I know what I saw.” 

“And what was that?” 

“You stopped the van with your hand.” 

Edward’s somewhat amused face turned cold. “Well no one is going to believe you anyway. Can’t you just thank me and we just drop it?” 

“Thank you.” 

“You aren’t going to let this go, are you?” 

“Not at all,” I tell him, determined. 

“Well, I hope you enjoy disappointment.” 

You went home that night with more questions than answers and the oddly sneaking suspicion that someone was watching you. You went to the bathroom and took your shower while thinking about how Edward stopped the van. So far, you had no concrete answers. You went to bed without any answers as well. Although you did wake up in the middle of night after having a strange dream about Edward. 

You tried to not think about that as you went to school the next day. The buses were already up front when you parked, ready for the field trip that you were positive wasn’t going to be very fun. Edward and his siblings, Alice and Jasper, walked past you. Mike popped up in front of you. 

“Hey, you’re alive, Arizona!” 

“You need more than a van to take me down.” 

The two of you laugh as you hi-fived. 

“So I was wondering, are you going to prom?” 

“Um, I don’t know yet. Charlie said I get two free no questions asked days if I go but me and dancing… it’s not pretty.” 

“Well, do you know if Jess is going?” 

“Mike!” you gasped. “Are you trying to ask Jessica out?” 

“Lower your voice, please. Okay, I may have had a small crush on her since we were seven and I am choosing to ask out my very good friend to prom.” 

“She’s going. I’m going dress shopping with her and Ang next weekend.” 

“Okay. Okay, cool.” Mike walked off before coming right back. “Do you think she likes me?” 

“Most definitely.” 

“Sweet. Thanks, Y/N/N. You’re the best.” 

He got on one of the buses while you got on the other. Tyler sat next to you, plugging your headphones into the jack on his phone. You nodded along to Blue October’s “Hate Me” as it played. The two of you didn’t talk at all but stared out the window like you were in a music video and listened to music until you reached your destination. 

The greenhouse was… interesting. That was the nicest way you could put it. Maybe it would have been nicer if you all weren’t cramped in the small walkway between the plants. Mr. Molina and Mr. Donoghue were trying their hardest to get people to water the plants or give them soil. 

“Now, I’m gonna make a steaming cup of compost tea.” 

He handed it to Eric. You laughed as you heard a very panicked yell. 

“No! Don’t drink it! It’s for the plants.” 

“What’s a no questions asked day?” a deep voice behind you asked. 

You nearly jumped out of your skin. Turning around, you saw the classic peacoat and never out of place hair of Edward Cullen. When had he even come up behind you? 

“You know you’re not helping your case. How’d you even hear that?” 

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

“Dude, you never answer any of mine. You don’t even say hi.”

“Hi.” 

“Please try to act less like a human. Are you gonna tell me anything? Preferably about the other day.”  

“Yeah. I had an adrenaline rush,” he said clinically. “It’s very common. You can Google it.” 

You paused and looked at him. “You’re a terrible liar. And a no question day is when I tell Charlie I need to do something or go somewhere and he asks no questions. It’s a mutual trust betwe—” 

You tripped but felt air and two cold hands grab you instead of feeling your face kiss pavement. 

“Careful,” Edward said as he set you upright again. 

“Thanks. So are you going to answer any of my other questions?” 

“Um. Ma—” 

“Y/N/N!” Jess stepped in between you two. “Guess who just asked me to prom?” 

Edward took the opportunity to slip away. 

“Who?” you feigned ignorance. 

“Mike! I’ve been hoping since forever but like he actually asked me.” 

You and Jess talked the entire way out of the greenhouse and onto the buses, forgetting about Edward and wanting to ask him more questions until it was too late. You weren’t going to think about him for the rest of the day. You had a father-daughter/mother-son date with Charlie, Jacob’s mom, and Jacob. Which meant going to a restaurant because both Charlie and Sarah worked long hours and weren’t going to cook. And Billy was doing his physical therapy for walking so there was no way anyone would force him to cook. 

You went to pick up Jacob at his school while his mom picked up Charlie from the station. He was still inside when you reached the school. It felt stupid signing the visitors clipboard when the school day was already over but you did it anyway just in case. When you made it to a hangout area for students you spotted Jake with his friends. 

You’d like to say they were your friends too but you never got very close with them over the summer. Embry usually went somewhere with his mom, Quil’s grandfather kept inside most of the time, and Seth had sports.

And their acquaintances you knew even less. Paul and Jared were always one grade level above you all and hung out with themselves. Sam didn’t seem to like any of you despite being only a couple years older than you and having even a smaller age gap with Paul. And Leah didn’t come around because either her loser younger brother was there or Sam was there which sucked because you wanted another girl around. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Embry said as you turned the corner. 

“Hi, guys. Jake, you ready?”  

“Yeah. See you guys later.” 

He nodded at his friends before getting up to stand next to you. Your fingers twitched as he intertwined them with his own. He rolled his eyes at the wolf whistles from his friends, laughing when you threw up a middle finger while the two of you walked away. 

“So where are we going?” you asked. 

“Who picked last summer?” 

“Charlie.” 

“Oh, nice, so it’s my turn.” Jacob looked something up on his phone. “Smuggler’s Bar and Grill, sound good? It’s in Port Angeles though.” 

You shrugged. “Eh, I’ve already finished all my homework and Charlie doesn’t go back to work until the graveyard shift. Go ahead and text them our choice.” 

Your truck pulled out of the school parking lot and headed towards the highway. Jacob fiddled with the radio for at least one decent station while you drove the hour it took just to get to Port Angeles. Honestly, you didn’t mind the time. The drive, surrounded by trees, was comforting. Especially with your best friend. 

If you and Jake weren’t singing to songs, you were gossiping about school. There was no need to catch up on anything else. Jake was one of the few people you texted nearly everyday despite being so far away most of the year — including the fact that he had a secret girlfriend for three years. Whenever he wanted to get her a present, he would text you what it was and would pretend he was sending it to you so Billy and Sarah wouldn’t get suspicious. It worked. They didn’t find out even after the two broke up. 

You guys pulled into the restaurant and waited for your parents to show up. Like you predicted, Sarah already analyzed the entire menu and knew what she wanted to order. Jake held up his phone. 

“They said they’re twenty minutes away and the food takes that long to prepare so order for them.” 

“I’m surprised she got Charlie to pick something ahead of time.” 

The two of you went in and got a table like they said. The host smiled a bit too sweetly as they called over a waiter. You and Jacob looked at each other and came to the same conclusion at the same time, silently gagging. There was no way they thought that you guys were on a date. Absolutely not. Was it because you were holding hands? The two of you pulled apart but the damage was already done. 

The waiter sat you down at what you could tell was the restaurant’s nicest booth by the best window that would let you look out onto the water. He handed you the menus and left to give you alone time to think. 

“Just gross, no offense,” you said. 

Jacob shrugged. “None taken. I would never date you, you’re, like, my friend.” 

“Same. Too weird… Do you think they’ll give us free dessert if we are though?” 

“Do you want to play it up?” 

“Absolutely.” 

Jacob gave you a smile you had never seen before but assumed he must have given to his girlfriend. He laid his hand across the table for you to grab. You took it with no problem — Jake’s hands were always warm and still a bit soft since he wore gloves when he worked on cars and bikes. His thumb stroked the back of your hand and he set the menu down to look at you. Almost like magic, or like they’ve been secretly watching, the wait staff came over. 

“Are you two ready to order?” he asked as he set down two glasses of water. 

“Ladies first,” Jake let go of your hand, ready to scoop up your menu when you finished speaking. 

“Um, does the shrimp scampi have a smell?” you asked in fake concern, hoping the waiter would catch on to teen angst of potential bad breath before a first kiss. 

“Oh, no, I got you, honey.” He had a noticeable southern accent. “What do you want to drink?” 

“Iced Tea, please. Oh, and a Caesar salad with ranch dressing.” 

“Got it. And for the young sir?”

“I’ll take the Not Your Mother’s Mac and Cheese along with a lemonade. Oh, and our parents are chaperoning but they’re a little late. Can we get them one clam chowder and one Hawaiian chicken sandwich both with Ruby tonics? What is a ruby tonic?” 

“Oh, I’m so glad you kids are too young to know what it is. Your food will be ready in a minute.” 

He took the menus and walked away. You could hear him gossip to the rest of the staff about chaperones. Jacob grabbed your hand again, giving it a peck. 

“You know he’s totally gonna bring you breath mints. Did you really ask if the shrimp would smell?” 

“Hey, I had to sell it. What brand do you think it’ll be?” 

Jake kissed your hand again. “Lifesavers. They scream not obvious for teenagers asking.” 

“You say this from experience?” 

“Ehh with Elle a couple of times.” 

“Really? I can’t believe you had your first kiss and girlfriend and I couldn’t even get a date for homecoming. You’re still a virgin right?” 

“Yes. I am still a loser virgin.” 

“Hey, I’m a virgin.” 

“Well then in that case virginity rocks.” 

You and Jacob cheered and clinked glasses before laughing when you were unable to hold it anymore. He moved over to your side since the two of you would have to be sitting together anyway once Charlie and Sarah showed up. He took the opportunity to sling his arm around you while you snuggled up to him. The two of you could clearly hear awes. 

“If we actually get free dessert,” Jacob whispered. “We need to do this more often.”  

Your parents came in exactly when the food came out. They looked at the two of you weirdly as you awkwardly broke apart. You shook your head before Charlie could say anything. They went with it like you had asked.  Your parents could do absolutely nothing but shake their heads and smile as the waiter brought out free cinnamon rolls in to-go boxes for not just you and Jacob but for the “chaperones” as well. 

You guys left a generous tip, cleaned up the table, and left the restaurant. You and Jacob clinked the to-go boxes together. 

“Here’s to fake boyfriends.” 

“Here’s to fake girlfriends.”

THIS FIC TAGLIST:

@smileykiddie08

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@venomsvl @peaches-n-sunscreen @summerellaz @supernaturallover2002 @sambucky8 @thebitchinleo @23victoria @scarlets-widow @pagetpagetpagetpaget @lovexnatasha @awesomebooklover17 @1234-angelika @imatrisk @blackreaderatrisk @princess-jules47 @alexloveskili @a-marie-a @siriuslysirius1107​ @i-have-no-life-charlie @daykrisr999

#twilight fic #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen x black!reader #twilight #jacob black x reader

[dearsnow]

AND THE DAM BREAKS (6)

- DULY NOTED: college is hard enough without feelings involved, and you’d like to keep it that way. (Jace, Aegon, Aemond, Helaena, & Baela x fem!reader college SMAU)

synopsis ; you finally let aegon into your dorm and your heart.

a/n - things are moving!!! they are going directions definitely!! lol there will be more aegon moments but this is the almost official end of the aegon/reader drama and the start of a new era. love ya <3

Taglist (bolded means I couldn't tag you for some reason): @valeskafics @mightyavngrs @mmmimilan @its-halleys-comet @babyblue-chaos @ghostheartbeat @savagemickey03 @hoe4fiction @cecespizza01 @panelhone @persephonesportal @lovelyliliya @llovelydove @nohesmile @rattheraddestrat @jordanjanellejoy @depressedperson88 @m-indkiller @julczimozart @nupppuff @writervaul-t @m1ndbrand @the-jess-life

You’ve ignored the knocks on your door for as long as physically possible. Every day, usually in the night, someone has been whining at your door, surely upsetting everyone on your floor. You’re sure it’s Aegon. No one else would be up at 4:51 AM, smelling of booze and perfume and sadness.

It’s been maybe two or three weeks since your complete disappearance from society. You claim it was for school, and part of it truly was, but in reality you just can’t face everything. You feel tears watering up in your eyes whenever you try to pick up your phone. Are you really that annoying? School is your priority but your friends will never be any less important to you, and they know that. Most of them know that. Maybe they don’t.

You take a deep breath and open the door.

“Oh my god, finally. Babe, I’ve been so worried about you-“

“Yeah. Worried.” You say, eyebrows raised. “If you’re here to complain about me having goals for myself, just tell me now so I can shut the door.”

He cringes at the venom in your voice. His words must have hit far too close to home. “I promise I won’t, now or ever again. I’m sorry.”

Fuck, he’s sorry? Even you in your annoyed and saddened state can recognize that this is a huge moment for him. He’s the king of not taking responsibility for his actions.

He peeks his head past your arm and into your dorm, and you move to let him in. His eyes are swimming with guilt and exhaustion.

“That’s kind of what I’m here to say. I fucked up. I said stupid and untrue things about you and I really hope you can forgive me, at least someday.” He rambles, his fingers tangling with each other as he sits on your chair. “I just… I feel so complicated with you. It’s stupid but it feels like the world is dead when you’re sad. I said what I said to try and get you to notice me when your head is in the books and all that, but I regret it. It was self-sabotage too, stupid fucking self-sabotage. I’m really sorry.”

A silence falls over the room as you gently sit on your bed, facing him. There’s too much for you to even say. He really doesn’t think of you badly. It was all in your head, all of it. He lied, and for the first time in a long while, his lie was worse than the truth.

“It’s okay.” You whisper, so quiet he would’ve missed it if he wasn’t staring at your lips. “What you said really hurt me, but I appreciate your apology. It means a lot.” He adds on a ‘especially from you’ in his head, knowing you think it but would never let it past your teeth.

He should be happy right now. His eyes should be lighting up and his mouth should be curving into a smile, but all he can think of is how utterly dejected you look. He takes your hands in his.

“Don’t be sad. Not about my lies, princess. There are better things to spend your mental energy on.” You laugh lightly.

“Like what?”

“Like those studies that have been taking up your time lately. Or resisting Jace’s puppy-dog eyes when he tries to get you to go to his latest game, the sporty little freak.” You laugh, your face lighting up a tiny bit, and he laughs, his face lighting up a world brighter. He presses a quick kiss to your cheek, a gesture of affection he knows you won’t mind. “You could even spend it on my truths. You know I love you, right?”

“Sure…” you drawl, teasing him a bit.

“No, I’m being serious.” He insists. He climbs onto your bed next to you, hopping from the chair to your mattress like a monkey. A fond feeling sparks in your stomach. “I’m really in love with you. Just ask Baela-“ his eyes widen a bit after saying her name, but he pushes forward, “I’ve never felt this way with a frat girl.”

“Oh, what a high compliment!” You grin. Your eyes show what you can’t say, a mix of confusion and love and a sprinkle of shame.

“I would really love it if you loved me back,” He almost sings, “but you’re tied down with school, I get it. Ugh, school. Get your diploma and get back to me, ‘kay shortcake?” Now he’s the one close to crying. He can’t believe he let it slip, but everything just felt right. The moon illuminated the curve of your lips, his hands were barely clammy (and that’s saying something), and everything was just so perfect. You stare down at your fingers, playing with them while you try to take everything in.

“I will. I would answer now, I swear I would, but I just don’t know. I don’t know what I feel or how to deal with it or who I maybe might feel possible feelings for. Once I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.” You take a deep breath before turning to look at him. “I love you, Aegon. Wether it’s platonic or romantic, the principle won’t change. I hope we can stay friends.”

“Of course we can, even though I’ll be absolutely heartbroken for the next few years.” He plops his head in your lap and you smile down at him. “That’s a joke. Maybe. Let’s get onto happier things right now. While you were moping, Helaena came up with a great idea. Just open your phone and check it out.” He stands, pulling open your drawer and rooting around for a phone that is definitely not in your desk. You snort and pull it out from the crack under your bed.

“It’s been a while with this thing. God, I swear there’s gonna be like forty new updates I have to go through.”

There’s not. As you turn it on, dozens and dozens of sweet messages pop up on your phone’s tiny screen. You scroll through them, a warmth spreading through your body, and the dam breaks.

You sob as Aegon wraps his arms around you, whispering sweet things into your ears.

“It’s okay, baby. We love you. Let it out, yeah?”

He stays, and you cry, and the dam dries up, and you know that he would stay forever if he had to. A part of you wishes he could.

#solar eclipse. #duly noted ; hotd 🗒️ #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii targaryen #aegon x reader #aegon targaryen #aegon the second #aegon ii #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd x reader #aegon hotd #hotd fic

[chronically-enthusiastic]

Are you religious?

Hey there anon!

you were probably looking for a straightforward answer of yes or no, but...... instead you are going to get a fairly long piece of the intricacies of my relationship with religion.

[DISCLAIMER BEFORE THIS IS READ: I live by love, and the LGBTQ+ community has my support 100%. I do not agree with the views of christians that are being shared at the moment.]

Okay to start off, I was raised religious. I went to a baptist church, I was very involved with the community around the church and I had a very strong faith. I made the decision to get baptised at the age of 11.

I think its important here to talk about the differences between faith and religion. At least to me, religion is the rules. The things you can and cant do, the rituals that take place. Church of England churches nearly always fall more on the side of religion than faith. Faith is the relationship. Its the trust that you have with God, its the belief that she exists, and has a plan set out for you. I consider myself to have a faith, not a religion.

The rituals that happen in churches - i.e. saying the lord's prayer in unison, having set lines you say after certain things are said by the minister - feel *very* cult-y to me. I have a strong negative reaction to them. I really struggle with the concept of religion. I now go to a less-religious-than-most church of england church, but every time they do a thing that feels more like religion, it takes me out of it and feels very alien. So yeah, I would not say that I am religious.

However, I do have a faith. I believe in God, the christian God. I try to live my life by the values that Jesus set out: I try to show love to people around me, I forgive people, I don't spread hate or cause harm, and I live my life with the knowledge that God has a plan for me. There's a song by For King and Country that says "and they'll know we are christians by our love", and that kinda sums it up for me.

But then I struggle with calling myself a Christian. [TW for transphobia/homophobia etc for the next 2 paragraphs.] In today's society, the voice of 'Christians' is very much fighting against lgbtq+ people. I see Christianity as a faith/religion based on love. And in today's society, the majority of things I see are hate and the spread of things that cause genuine severe physical and mental harm to so many people. I do not stand for that. I don't believe that this is the Christian faith.

I don't like that if I call myself a christian, people assume I hold those veiws. I hate that Christians have become such a loud voice advocating against lgbtq+ people's rights. There are conversations amongst people I have known all my life, who are christians and some of the most loving people, about whether or not same sex marriages should be allowed to happen. I can no longer use the label Christian to describe myself because it has come to mean to other people things that I fundamentally disagree with and harms so many people around me, including myself. So, I am not a Christian.

[tw trauma] I also have a lot of trauma around religion. I was bullied by students and teachers in primary school (and also probably because autism but faith/religion was the main cause). I won't go into it because it is very traumatic for me and I dont want to relive those memories, but it gave me a whole lot of issues. (I used to have panic attacks from driving past the school etc). So that again doesnt help.

In conclusion, no I'm not religious, technically I'm christian but I do not like calling myself one, but I have a faith.

If you want me to elaborate on anything I'm happy to do so!

#eli has a thought #ask #anon #eli's faith

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

visiting their home for the first time for Lucian/Peter (but not the penthouse?)?

I kinda wanted to try my hand at writing Peter getting to see Lucian's old castle home in the mountains, since I've never actually written that before.

This is still part of the au with Peter as a vampire. Also, I want you to imagine the whole time they're outside, in the day time, Peter is carrying around a black parasol that is super gothy and cool looking because how vampire is that, yeah?

On with the fic!

--

"Holy shit." Peter stared at the large, looming building, still standing even after having been abandoned over a decade ago and left to the elements.

"I take it you're impressed?" Lucian asked.

"In a way, yeah. I mean, I've seen my fair share of castles, I am from England, kinda have to see 'em at least once. But this is different! It's so... so... gothic!"

"I wouldn't say that, considering that the goths had nothing to do with its construction."

Peter huffed and lightly punched Lucian's arm, seeing the lycan smile. "Smart ass. Are you goin' to give me the grand tour before you and your people finally take it back for wolfkind?"

"There has been some work done on it already, at least enough to allow some lycans to live in it, but yes, I shall show you around. I figured that was the case." He took Peter's hand and they started to make their way to the front gates.

Two people stood there, both much more muscular and stronger looking than Peter, clearly acting as guards. They gave Peter hard looks but bowed to Lucian, who quickly said something to them in Romanian, and the bowing stopped.

The doors were opened for them and they stepped in. There were a few people moving about, and two of them were lycan shaped, clearing up rubble from a part of the castle's guard wall that collapsed. Peter watched in interest, it was so cool to see lycans about in the day time that weren't just Lucian wanting to wolf-out back at the penthouse.

Lucian spoke as they walked around the courtyard, pointing out where the work stations were during his old days, and even pointed out where his old work station had been. The kiln had been left behind, clearly built into the cobblestone ground, but the tools were gone.

"Plannin' on doin' some crafting while we're here?" Peter asked.

"Once I get the material, it'll be easier to do things here than at our home in Vegas. Come, shall we see inside?"

Peter found that the inside was exactly what he expected from vampires. Expensive looking artwork and tapestries, custom made items, clearly what looked to be high-society vampire propaganda. Peter, however, did greatly enjoy the tinted windows, apparently that allowed for vampires to wander about without harm during the day, if need be.

Lucian showed him a door that was locked. It clearly held a room that belonged to someone important, and the look in Lucian's eyes indicated to Peter who that was. "You can keep it locked, it's okay."

"Are you sure?" Lucian asked softly.

"If a time capsule of her life is in there that you want to keep protected, then by all means. I won't stop you, this is your project anyway, ya know? Up to you what you wanna do with things."

Lucian turned to face him, taking Peter's other hand in his own. "This is both of our project, Peter, because I would like to include you in on this."

Peter blinked. "What?"

"I mean... it would be nice to come back here from time to time, to come back to what was once my home for so long. And... I would like for you to be here with me, living here as well. You invited me into yours, I wish to do the same with you in mine."

Holy shit.

That's... that's a lot. Considering that this is where Lucian grew up, where he fell in love, where he lost Sonja and gained his freedom in the span of just a few days. Where he took over and lived in peace with his people until some prick coward came and made a deal with him and he had to go into hiding.

But still, this was home, both with good and bad ties to it.

Same as the penthouse was for Peter, where he lived comfortably for work, but had also been attacked by the vampire who ruined his life and his little minion, where they had killed his girlfriend, where he finally got told to grow a pair and end his nightmare once and for all.

And where he had a life with Lucian and their cats.

And maybe it would be nice to have that here too. Being a vampire in a spooky castle was a pretty cool way to live, honestly, especially with a really awesome, sexy wolfman boyfriend.

"You'd really want me to live with you here?" He asked.

"I would be so happy if you did."

"Well, fuck, yeah, let's do that! I'll live with you here, when I can, you know I've still got my show."

Lucian smiled. "You can do... some vampire hunting internet show here, if you wish, keep your fans entertained."

"Oh shit, yeah, that'd be cool! Hey, you got any spooky towers we can check out? I wanna fly around 'em and check out the sights as a bat!"

"Peter, this is a medieval castle, of course we do. And they are also excellent places to make love."

"Wait, really? How do you- oh. Oh fuck, Lucian, good for you!"

--

I think Lucian deserves to have his castle back, and for Peter to be a cute bat flying around it at times.

#lucian x peter vincent #john's drabbles

[yaldev]

Bruzek's Flags

Living in the Oracle’s consciousness came with certain inconveniences. Decadin had no sensory inputs but those shared by his host. His eyes were not closed, but removed—he could not see the darkness. Maybe the gods in here could handle it, but Decadin was only ever a man.

He distracted himself with what faculties were available. He recreated old songs and cursed when he forgot a lyric. He trawled his imagination and dug up an old idea of a Terminus office building, which he modeled in three dimensions and rotated at ludicrous speeds. When the entertainment value ran dry, he fixated on old memories. He handled crystal bugs, ate soup in a sunrise and argued with titans of industry and military, struck now by the wiser things he could have said. Most of all he replayed his first meeting with the Oracle, telling himself this was the most important memory to keep alive, as it came closest to explaining how he, or whatever was left to call “he,” was now here, whatever “here” could mean.

The Oracle could see it all. “Anything to never think of Lhusel,” she thought, and it intruded on Decadin’s mind.

Decadin shoved that thought away.

“You think so much of one broken friendship, and not the families slain in your Empire’s name.”

He was not getting away from this. “Why would you even ask that? You know that bothers me too, but they weren’t part of me and my story like Lhusel was. That’s just how humans work.”

“Want to see something? You’ll go mad if I don’t feed you.”

“I’ll take anything.”

“Perhaps you can make better sense of this than I,” she said, and she poured a vision into Decadin’s mind. His eyes faded back in, and his ears and nose and skin. He was a ghost at a ceremony.

Bruzek unraveled a scroll, read its magic nonsense aloud, and shoved it back in his pocket. “Test,” he said, and all could hear him as clear as if he were standing right before them.

Decadin tried to frown, but he had no mouth. “When was this? Or when will it be?”

“Now,” thought the Oracle, “but far away.”

Bruzek started talking, and the acolyte ignored what he said to focus on how he said it.

“He’s bad at this,” Decadin thought, “can’t imagine he wrote this himself, but he memorized it word for word.”

“You’re so sure,” the Oracle thought.

“Debate society kids like me did the same thing. If he hasn’t fixed it by now it’s because he hasn’t had to. You don’t need to say anything interesting in the military, you just stick to the script. What are those banners?”

“Battle flags, Bruzek’s own. Now that he’s High Commander, he can institute them—”

“He got to High Commander talking like that?!”

“Don’t be so harsh.” The Oracle smirked. “He’s just trying to copy you.”

“...never seen before,” droned Bruzek, “but the vision you have demonstrated in your studies and training has given your Empire confidence that you can face those threats and do what needs to be done.”

Decadin wished his ears would fade back out. “Getting millions killed? Is that how he copies me? You can mock my style but I was never this… generic.”

Bruzek was not worth Decadin’s attention. The acolyte turned his gaze to the audience, the commissioned commanders in shirts and ties. They looked more like desk workers than warriors. At least that was honest. There was no life in their eyes. Whatever the speech was trying to do, it…

Decadin’s attention went back. “Maybe genericism is the point.”

He felt the Oracle’s interest pique. “Go on.”

“Ideas aren’t the reason he leads, but it’s not about following a script either, because then the words would matter. No, this isn’t about what he says to them. The point is, he’s at the front and they have to listen. This is a graduation speech?”

He felt the Oracle nod.

“So this is what the Army is about now. What learning is about, if you’re Ascended.”

Bruzek’s tone changed. “Okay, I could go on another five pages or we could skip to the important part. You’re adults, your time is valuable, you get it. What do you say?”

Decadin saw consciousness return to the soldiers’ eyes. They answered with mild laughter here and there, but no objections.

“Alright! Ascended commanders, you have come this far!”

Violence shone in Bruzek’s eyes. His words pulled memories from the Oracle’s mind, and they polluted this vision. Illusory steelflakes descended on the scene.

“Your power is the Empire’s, and the Empire’s power is yours. What can stop you?”

“Nothing,” was their resounding answer. Lightning mines erupted all around.

“Tell me, in all you have learned: what is it to win?”

“It is love.”

Conversion cities assembled in the distance.

“And what is it to lose?”

“Growth.”

Suppression towers sprouted from the concrete.

“And what is it to reach?”

“Life.”

An Orb of Darkness loomed over them all.

“And what is it to relent?”

“DEATH.”

Decadin’s thoughts were racing. “So they knew this part. They had gut answers. He made the speech bad on purpose, because that was the Army, but the chant was Bruzek. He gave them a part in the script, and sidestepped the formalities to involve them.”

“The Army belongs to him,” the Oracle added, “he could change anything with an order.”

“But he doesn’t. He’s drawing a line between himself and the institution. He’s building a cult to himself, something separate. He’s planning something, what’s he planning?”

“Yes, you are right,” thought the Oracle, “thank you.”

Decadin’s eyes began to fade, and ears and nose and skin, as though the Orb of Darkness were consuming it all.

“Oracle, what’s he planning?” He asked again, but she had sectioned him off again, cast him back to his songs, buildings and obsessions. He pouted and thought of all those men, the true killers in all the Conquests, petty tyrants with computers and annual reviews, Bruzeks in the making. Decadin dreamed up a bomb that could’ve killed them all where they stood, and rotated it at ludicrous speeds.

———

Yaldev is a sci-fantasy worldbuilding project by Ulysses Maurer, with art by Beeple. By looking at narratives, stylized loredumps, bad poetry and little details, we'll witness the story of a planet filled with magical power, the nation which tried to conquer it, this empire’s dramatic collapse and the new world which emerged in its wake. Along the way we'll meet the characters who live here, and we'll explore questions about nationalism, rationalism, the natural world and the quest to master it. For all stories in chronological order, check out the pinned posts at r/Yaldev!

#beeple #fantasy #scifi #worldbuilding #writing #everyday #short story #surreal #dystopia #dystopian #dystopian fiction #science fiction #science fantasy #sci fantasy #sci-fantasy #scifantasy #sf #sff #worldbuild #worldbuilder #worldbuilders #magic #d&d #dnd #canadian writers #escapism #lore #amwriting

[rantaccla]

Pride Confessions pt. 1

Hello, Badet!

I'm sorry that you've been feeling that way. We could not imagine what you are going through right now but you probably already know this but sometimes — its okay not to be okay. 

I know it seems rough at times but you have to trust yourself on this one. There's no guide book on 'How To Be A Good Queer'. It can be difficult to be natural in a society that frequently tries to categorize people, but it's important to keep in mind that you are special and admired. 

I just wanna leave you a gentle reminder that every person's journey is different and that there is no "right" way to be a queer. It's normal to experience elation and feelings of discontent at times. It's also okay to admire others as much as possible, try to prevent yourself from comparing yourself to other people and strive to be more confident instead. 

A little goes a long way but keep in mind that building confidence and establishing self-worth takes patience and dedication, but you can carry it out with persistence and effort. Everyone is their own person so you don't need any approval from anyone but yourself. Ponder more about embracing and accepting yourself for who you are. Embrace your uniqueness and don't be afraid to express yourself freely. You are capable of having a life that feels true to you. 

You don't have to be afraid because you have all the colors of the rainbow by your side. 

- ad

Hello fellow Demi! Thank you for writing <3 I would like to express my happiness upon finding a fellow demi like you who also has troubles when it comes to romantic topics. If I had a chance to meet up with you, I would listen to you, maybe even become besties and rant all about our circumstances. Gusto ko lang na malaman mo hindi ka nag-iisa at okay lang yang nararamdaman mo.

I have been there too, madalang lang din ako magkaroon ng crushes and love interest, sa totoo lang akala ko hindi ako normal o minsan ay naguguluhan din sa kung ano nga bang kasarian ko. Pero upon realizing and finding out about my sexual orientation, I accepted it na even though there is always a misconception that I am in dominant or common gender or sexual orientation.

So in this blog, I would like you to know na you’re not the only one suffering, marami pa tayo, although there is no really known established community for us, there are struggles talaga na hindi natin maiiwasan.  Isa na ang nararamdaman mo, madalang magkaroon ng crushes or love interest at if ever na hindi ma fulfill, ang bagal mawala ng feelings. For me it took at least two and a half years to forget a 3 month relationship from my previous lover. Time will heal ika nga. You maybe wondering…Bakit? Bakit ang tagal mawala? It’s because demisexuals have this trait on them na nakabase ang romantic interest or attraction sa experience na kasama ang taong nagkakaroon sila ng damdamin. Demis develop a sense of loyalty only to that person we feel attracted to kaya mahirap mawala yung feelings even if konting oras lang ang pinagsamahan ninyo. In this sense demis like us are easily misunderstood because nacoconfuse tayo when it comes into romance, we want to take things slow but that doesn’t mean that we are being cautious or that we don’t really love our current partner and most certainly we aren’t afraid of intimacy. We just want to spend quality time with our love interest and actually make the most out of it. That’s why the more genuine memories we have with our lover, the more bond we have with them, the more it hurts, na gusto mo nalang lamunin ka ng lupa. We invest our time and effort for that person we feel attracted to, that’s why we feel defeated or it’s the end of the world. Imagine having to put a lot of effort into something but it just all goes to waste? I am speaking about this based on what I have experienced too.

There are undoubtedly different kinds of Demis, some who seek skinship but no attraction and some who're really close to being an Asexual. So what can we do? Bipbipbip sabi ng jeep, chariz. Nothing, we just need time to heal and accept a broken relationship because the more we dwell on it or overthink it, mas lalo lang tayong mahihirapan magmove on. If we fall down, the only way is up, although healing is a really slow process, we will eventually get through it and find someone that we can truly be with. As for crushes? Bipbipbip I agree na madalang lang din ako dyan XD except sa mga virtual husbandos and senpais. Hui! De pero, when it comes to crushes, we really strive to get to know them or that even if nagbond na, when we face rejection, ansakit din at ang tagal mawala. Kung ikukumpara, once in a bluemoon lang ang demis nagkakaroon ng attraction sa other person. That’s why those who currently have a Demi partner or you feel that you are attracted to, take time to understand them as they understand you too.

-Tiks

Dear blink forever,

Thank you for writing. It really takes a lot of courage to admit to wanting something and from that, I am proud of you. You are taking a good step. And I assure you, the lacing doubts from your confession is completely understandable for it roots to our common upbringing in the society. So, I hope the following response will reach you and somehow be a help to your predicament.

First of all, it's 100% okay to be confused. I get it that you are experiencing uncertainties about your sexuality and gender identity despite wanting to date women. So, I tell you dear, you are in the process of questioning. That's why, you may frequently find yourself asking what you have expressed in your confession: "is this may be only a phase?" or and "can I commit to the idea of dating women?". This early stage can be frightening but don't feel bad about it, you are just getting started.

Only you can determine what your gender is. So, trying things out for yourself would be your best shot. Because the fact that you know to yourself that you want to go and date women, it might be a sign for you to solidify the doubts about your sexual orientation. You are getting there, dear. It is your own right to explore the things you are interested in. And remember, nobody else should take that from you. 

Moreover, your fears are heard, dear. Your feelings are completely valid but the scare should never dictate your actions for eternity. These are instilled misconceptions about LGBT community in the conservative and patriarchal society, resulting in fears you actually feel. Because nothing is "just a phase" to your sexuality and identity. It isn't a situation where you just woke up and realize you wanted to date women. It's not as simple as that for anyone; it's just the system that deprives us.

I guarantee you that gender is fluid and it is enough reason for you to explore your sexuality and be able to discover what would make you happy and content. You may never know but you are already committing to the idea of wanting to date women– it's already a progress. So, why not try? Only then you can find out. It's your happiness that matters, dear.

And always remember, you have a community fighting alongside you in this journey. We are rooting for you.

-eka

Ola, Hello Kitty!

First of all, it comforts me to know that you are loud and proud to be a woman. I love that you know the power and extent of being a woman, especially in this patriarchal society that continues to view us – women – as a form of fragile and powerless human beings. Although significant progress has been made in the fight for gender equality, it makes sense that you still get to ask about the existence of these gender role expectations because we are still in the long run combating society’s bigotry. I hope you find this response as a companion and an encouragement to carry on standing for each and every woman. 

Yes, I totally agree that society created these expectations on women; to be conservative, to be able to do household chores, to dress traditionally, and to be feminine in all ways. It’s dumb, right? As someone has shared with me before, these were all results of society’s fear of seeing a woman stand fiercely in front of them. The increasing societal repression of sexuality over the centuries has produced a world that belittles the capability of being a woman. They are afraid to see what more we can do. That we are able to uncover the will to knowledge, to fight, to be strong, and to act collectively against the repression they implicated. 

Despite these gender norms engraved in our patriarchal culture, I am proud of you for voicing out what needs to be heard. I want you to know that you are not alone in standing up for women, so continue doing the things you want to explore and being you regardless of how the world may look at us because WE are not the problem. 

I want to thank you for writing this letter, but I also want to give a big thank you for standing up for yourself as a woman, because in doing so, you are standing up for all the women in the world. Abante, Babae! 

-kj

#lgbtq #lgbtq community #lgbtq positivity #pride #pride month #pride month 2023 #rant accla #things i left unsaid #lgbtqia

[aukanemin]

I can't explain the amount of worry I have for yall 😭 For you, your family, your art, its all just terrifying sitting here in America, watching all this happen and knowing there's not much that can be done to help, that I can do to help. I really hope at this point Putin just gets struck by lightning or trips and falls down a flight of stairs and just straight up dies so this shit can STOP. I really hope this war dies with him. I can't see it going on past that and that really that give me hope (besides to see you posting).

Hello again!<зз Oh, we are safe, for the most parts! There is obvious place for civil terror - in a meaning of unavailability of electricity or water or heating or connection for specific amounts of time, and costs of living strike their new domes, but that's okay (not really but it doesn't matter in current perspectives)!<зз

I cannot describe the way how I feel at the moment - how much of bile and horror and hate is in my heart, and I know that I shouldn't, as the only way how to describe this general mental state is to show the way how things builded and exist for us at the current time - something that I could not imagine to ever see, and don't feel in my soul to make other's to look at, too. It's inhuman and it awakens something alike.

I cannot really imagine, too, how I shall return to usual life after our victory (as without victory there is no life - being unable to scream does not exclude agony), just as my family and countrymen cannot, I feel - but that is another side of existential horror of current time, the one that we may either endure or not озо It's important to endure, obviously - so I try to create now better future for us, as without that work it may never came, and there will be no actual home to return into.

I.. I don't actually think about him a lot, truth be told. Obviously, I hope he will rot from inside, but I also know that there is too much that builded our current world to be finished like that. It's not the war of one person, such was proven long ago - in Bucha, Izyum, Mariupol, Kherson and hundreds of cities of my homeland and other's, in everyday, it is a war of resourses and of people. Maybe if he will be gone the war shall be stopped since it is not profitable- or maybe there will be separation between marital leaders and gangs that will fight for advantage and dominion, and the land where those conflict shall be continued is may be ours, too.

I mean - country both with basically unlimited war resourses (outdated and unsuited to modern warfare but still can kill people and maim and destroy and terror?) and nuclear weapons that lived with authocrat and his regime that literally cames from criminal records of 90s as long as it existed as independent state, that thinks about itself - and actually is - successor of both empire that enslaved and tantalized nations for as long as it existed and of state - empire, too, by actual way of things - that did the same things but this time together with nations that it thought as of lesser one it also did it with own people, too, just with supressing ideology of unity and brotherhood and suffering and pain? Shall lose their authocrat, will be separated therefore (because authocrathy never considers actual successor or future beside - having at least one of them is enough to lose it's power), with no actual state or control over - just at it was separated previously and it was such a miracle that it didn't ended in the darkest human catastrophe that could be imagined?

If the health of mentality was proven the situation should have been over long ago - but it is rather population than society and, in the same way how they accepted immolation of my nation, they stand still even when their own existance - of their sons, brothers and husbands that will go to war, to either kill or get killed, of women that will live in society of violence and degradation where nor they nor their children will never be safe, is considered as of lesser value and openly shown to them as such. I can see past him - the only way to overcome it is to stay strong and still and on our ground, be better in each way - both how they are and how we currently are, too. …

o//////o (opening curtains of figurative room of mood)

So!<з

I find hope both in art and of your company, too! It means a world for me - to see something as bright and beautiful and delightful and as mellow as you, and to have ability to share those expressions and feelings and love of creations озо

Thank you!!

#ask #artist from ukraine #blog

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Just saw this interview, which I remember watching years ago because it came up in my YouTube feed and I loved Last Week Tonight, and was interested in a story about its inner workings. It came up in my YouTube feed again today, and I watched it again, and I’m glad I did. I’ve seen a few interviews with John Oliver over the years, and this one covers the same ground that the rest of them cover, but also a fair bit of ground that other interviews I’ve seen haven’t covered.

One way in which it covers familiar ground is that it involves the fun and frequently played game of: “Interviewer uses much of their allotted time just trying to get John Oliver to take a fucking compliment, their efforts are met with pushback that ranges from dismissive derision to outright aggression.” That man is actively offended by even the insinuation that he has ever done anything good or useful in his entire life. He’s trapped in a perennial loop with interviewers of “A lot of people love how you keep them entertained and informed” versus “Fuck off, I do no such thing, and anyone who thinks I do that is an idiot” (that’s a light paraphrasing of an amalgamation of his common answers). 

As much as his self-depreciation can be a little over the top sometimes, I do respect John Oliver’s insistence that his name and his team’s work not be used to further dilute the definition of journalism. It seems a little pointless to me, since that definition has been diluted so far beyond him that the way people talk about LWT doesn’t even matter anymore. A lot of stuff that’s way less rigorous than what he does gets called “journalism” all the time, and what he does is much closer to journalism that lots of sources from which people get their news these days. But I respect John’s commitment to the principle. To the fact that once upon a time, “journalism” meant adhering to certain standards of research and accountability and objectivity and transparency and ethics and general integrity, and a comedy show by definition cannot meet those standards. Proper journalism has to be boring.

But people don’t like being bored, and they take journalism for granted, and someone invented Twitter, and now people can call anything “news” and seem just as reliable as an actual news source that’s accountable to journalistic standards, and I genuinely believe that that is one of the biggest factors in many of the biggest problems facing the world right now. It’s an important institution that holds power to account, and when we don’t protect that, every single facet of society gets worse.

...And that is why Anchorman 2 is a surprisingly good satire in addition to being almost as funny as the first one, even though it should have been just a shitty cash grab like all other sequels to great Blockbuster comedies. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

I’m not trying to judge individual people who don’t constantly follow the news, because individual people shouldn’t have to do that all the time. Both I and the world would probably be just fine if I spent less time listening to CBC podcasts, and I might feel slightly less depressed. But I’m just saying, the world would probably be better if more people spent some time following real news. And in some ways, it can even be less depressing! Getting real facts from boring proper journalists can be easier on the mental health than scrolling through social media or looking at sensationalized sources. Seriously, for any Canadians who want to be informed and don’t know where to start, the CBC is far from perfect but is at least accountable to checks on its accuracy, rather than being primarily accountable to advertisers and other interests. Vassy Kapelos and Rosemary Barton are kind of holding the country together, and that’s a place to start.

Okay, I didn’t actually mean for this post to go that far down the road of pontificating about journalism. I actually meant to say that every interview with John Oliver ends up covering “Are you a journalist?” “No I’m fucking not and saying I am is both an insult to the institution of journalism and to journalists themselves” conversation, and I find it interesting that this one lasted long enough to go quite far beyond that.

They get into stuff about how LWT episodes get made, how they went from going one week at a time to making a bunch of stories in advance, how the team works together. It’s interesting background. How the show evolved from something closer to the established Daily Show style into what it is now, with the in-depth segments getting longer and longer, and the traditional interviews getting fewer and father between. How interesting it is that it was his vision of what a show like this could be, and a big risk for HBO to let him do it when it was not a tested format. How it was also a risk for all the writers and researchers who signed on to it, and how much pressure there is on John to be the one-person face of that whole team and do their work justice. I found it particularly interesting when he said Donald Trump started eating into the time they used to dedicate to stories from around the world. I have noticed LWT becoming a lot more American-centric since its first few seasons, and I think that’s not a great thing but it is an understandable thing (American show focuses on America, fair enough), and liked hearing John acknowledge that this has happened and explain it a bit.

And of course there were discussions about how the political environment affects a political comedy show. Some stuff about having a bit of an outsider’s perspective from being an immigrant while doing the work of a closely connected insider who learns the inner workings of America and then tells the rest of us about them.

Near they end, they covered a topic that I’ve heard a lot of comedians discuss, which is how utterly bullshit it is when people say Donald Trump is a comedian’s dream. I’ve been re-watching bits of The Thick of It in the last couple of days, and that has me thinking about how Armando Iannucci has said a show like that wouldn’t work in the Trump era, because there is no room for subtlety. There’s nothing to satirize.

I guess that’s almost related to what I said before, about how now we have Twitter instead of journalism. It feels like the Trump era created a lot of Twitter instead of political comedy. It’s very easy to make cheap, Twitter-sized jokes about Donald Trump, but it’s hard to do anything that goes deeper.

I realize that this whole post may make me sound about 100 years old; maybe I’m wrong and we’ll find that newer ways of doing things are better. Anyway, here’s a quote from the end of the video that I found really interesting and well articulated.

Ali Velshi: Some people think as much as the world would be a better place under a different administration, it may hurt TV, or it may hurt cable, or it may hurt comedy. You don’t share that view?

John Oliver: It will not hurt comedy. You mean Trump not being president anymore? It will not hurt comedy. At all. Quite the reverse. It will make comedy much, much better.

Ali Velshi: Because?

John Oliver: It’s not good for comedy, this guy. Partly because, the really reductive way to say it is that it’s kind of self-satirizing. But it’s much more complicated than that, because when you’re trying to tell a joke about something, normally you’re trying to take something that means something, and then find something trivial to say. Often what he’s saying is, it’s not just that it doesn’t mean anything, it’s that there is something really meaningful inside the nothing that he’s saying. But you have to kind of inject protein into it to then show how it’s a problem. And that is just not a kind of, like, intellectual gastronomy that everyone should be engaging in. It’s too complicated. Or, you get really lazy comedy. And I think bad politicians for years have produced bad comedy.

It reminds me of the way people rarely read a whole article from something like Reductress or The Onion, because the headline is the joke (I’m not knocking them, I find both those websites hilarious, I don’t think they pretend that the humour is in more than the headlines, and that’s fine). Or how if people ask the audience for suggestions at an improv show, if the audience throws out a setting or scenario that’s profane in itself, the sketch won’t be as funny because the joke has already been made and there’s nowhere to go from there. When Trump already is the joke, you can either point out that obvious joke if you want lazy comedy, or if you want good comedy, you have to try to find something more to it, and that is not easy. I think. That is what I think as someone who is not a comedian and doesn’t know what I’m talking about. But I find it interesting.

[loominggaia]

i dont know how i missed the whole "sirenes are second class citizens in aquaria" thing. on that note, would you mind expanding on how sirenes live within the aquarian alliance? aside from being the common footsoldiers and such

This is one of those "open secrets" in the Aquarian Alliance. On paper, all species have equal rights, even Terrian species. But in practice...yeah, not so much.

It's pretty clear that cecaelia have the most power and wealth in this nation. Sirenes make up the vast majority of the Alliance's population, yet they tend to hold lower places in society.

This is all by design. Sovereign is a cecaelian-supremacist who wishes the whole world resembled his native ethnostate of Tekee. That time and culture are long gone, but he is not ready to let it go. He sees the sirenes as useful tools to accomplish his goals, so he's willing to meet them half-way on things here and there.

But if Sovereign does achieve world domination, you can bet he'll betray the sirenes fast and probably enslave them. Most likely, all other species will be made into slave classes to serve cecaelia. In Sovereign's mind, that's the ideal world. He sees cecaelia as victims, not as aggressors, and believes that his species deserves to rule over others because only they are intelligent and capable enough to do so.

So, in this culture, you have a leader who believes his species is objectively superior to all others. As you can imagine, he only appoints other cecaelia to important roles in his government. Those cecaelia appoint other cecaelia under them, and so on, which leaves sirenes and other species to work in the ditches with no power or influence over anything. It's basically species-based nepotism.

How exactly sirenes live under Alliance rule is dictated by their culture. The Alliance's territory encompasses almost the entire sea, so you have thousands of different cultures operating under its rule. They are forced to serve the Sovereign, but they still cling to their own beliefs and ways of life in any way they can. They're allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, as long as it doesn't conflict with Sovereign's goals. He lets them practice their religions, celebrate their holidays, eat their traditional cuisine, and so on. But in return, they must pay taxes to his regime, obey his nation's laws, and show up to fight if they're drafted.

Some of these territories have higher numbers of sirenes than others. Some have no cecaelia in them at all, so you'll find areas where sirenes have more opportunities to rise into more powerful positions like government leaders and military captains.

Sovereign's regime is slowly trying to phase that out by moving cecaelian populations around like chess pieces, forcing them into strategic locations to take power away from sirenes. It's very insidious and no one is happy with it. The native sirenes hate it because it strips them of their culture and robs them of opportunities, and the cecaelian immigrants hate it because they're being forced to move somewhere they don't necessarily want to be.

Naturally this creates a lot of conflict between sirenes and cecaelia, which is exactly what Sovereign wants. If they're busy fighting with eachother, then they're too distracted to point fingers at him.

There's a lot of strategic, artificial conflict in the Aquarian Alliance. It can really suck to be a sirene here or it can be okay, depending on your location. Personally, if I was a sirene, I would much rather live in a place like Matuzu Kingdom, Mogdir Kingdom, or even the Seelie and Unseelie Courts.

Hell, even life Lamai Nation would be preferable to an Alliance territory imo. There is still some level of systemic oppression against sirenes there, but at least the Lamaish government doesn't gaslight its citizens about it like the Alliance does.

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

#ask #askaquarianalliance #asksirene #askculture

[florenceisfalling]

okokok so its kinda like the consumption of skewed fiction is okay as long as you know the difference between what is and isnt okay in society? i think thats what im getting maybe? but what if someone reads that kind of fiction and like, also agrees that that kind of thing is okay irl? would they be a proshipper or would they be something else?

i think i can understand it, its just a deal of knowing that fiction is, fiction, and its not okay for fucked up fiction to happen irl? like i can read a story about i dunno, a town falling apart due to mysterious murders and enjoy the plot but if i were to say "man, im really wanting dozens and dozens of innocent people to be gruesomely murdered i think thatd be a really neat thing to happen" then thatd be a problem because at that point id think that kinda thing is okay amd id be wanting that kinda fucked up shit inflicted on real people?

OR OR IS IT LIKE TWILIGHT?? people like twilight for lotsa different reasons, some like the movie because its outrageously toxic and badly made, some like it because of the concept of "this is a toxic relationship and its extremely entertaining" and some like it because they idolize the relationship between bella and edward and i guess jacob. the difference between these three is that the first two recognize this relationship as fiction and bad, whereas the last one idolizes the toxic relationship and probably wishes that kind of relationship to be irl. the first two know the relationship is not okay but the last one thinks it is?

IM SORRY IM JUST TRYING TO HET MY HEAD WRAPPED AROUND THIS PLEASE TELL ME IF IVE GOT SOMETHING WRONG

~krabs :]

you grasp this really well dude dont apologize at all!!

what you said at the start - "the consumption of skewed fiction is okay as long as you know the difference between what is and isnt okay in society" - is such a perfect and succinct way of explaining it, or at least how i see it:

a person who is proship/profiction is someone who thinks that bad stuff (mysterious murders! toxic relationships! all the things u mentioned!) is okay in fiction but not in real life! ayyy

not everyone who agrees with that calls themself "proship" (lots of them r just ppl who think its common sense, not a label, lol) and not all proshippers have good views. but thats the basis of the proship community in fandom!!

the reason there are so many antis, or people who think proship is bad, is because people jump to conclusions when taboo stuff is involved. it kinda goes like this: person A ships something with an unhealthy age gap, or whatever -> person B assumes that because A spends time writing or drawing it, they think it is okay irl -> B thus makes a post falsely claiming A is a pedo/abuser/whatever -> person B's followers take this at face value, without checking further.

this spreads like wildfire online! you know how it is.

its also important to know that: 1.) when someone makes content with these dark themes like murder or abuse or so forth, they should be tagging it/otherwise making sure people don't have to see it if they don't want to. its just common courtesy, so that nobody gets triggered. 2.) fiction and reality are different, but fiction still affects reality. writing about a murderer is okay, mentioning someone being transphobic in a story is okay. but trying to incite violence with hate speech, or turning a character into a transphobic caricature, etc, is obviously Not okay. ik ur aware of that! im just sayin that anyone who responds to criticism for bigotry with "fiction =/= reality!!" is misusing that phrase.

#lemme know if u have any other thoughts :0!!! ty for talkin w me krab <3 #discourse

[geminibabble]

Learn to say no to people pleasing!

Hello babblers! :) I guess it due for my first official heart to heart on here. Today's topic hits close to home for many of us: setting boundaries, saying no, and the dreaded people-pleasing syndrome.

Let me start by saying, I've had a rough go of it when it comes to saying no and wanting everyone to like me. For the longest time, I believed that by saying yes to everything and everyone- being the perfect yes man- I would win people's affection and approval. With this came the inability to say "no" without feeling a pang of guilt. Sound familiar?

But, 2023-present time was truly a "new year, new me" whether it was on my new year resolutions list or not. I have opened my eyes to the harsh reality that no matter how much you do for someone, how much you care or try for them, there will always be those who find fault with what and what you do or how you do it. And that's okay. Those people are not meant to be in your life or at least just kept at a distance. Let's not forget- just because someone doesn't agree with you, the way you live your life, who you are as a person or a friend does not make them a bad person or toxic. People are entitled to their own opinions, just as you are. This isn't about having a victim mindset or refusing to accept your faults; its about recognizing that people pleasing still doesn't guarantee universal approval. True acceptance, love, and friendship come from those who embrace you for who you are, flaws and all.

Now let's talk about boundaries- the invisible lines we draw to protect our mental, emotional, and physical well-being (or at least we try to). For the longest time, even today occasionally, I struggled to set boundaries out of fear of being seen as selfish or uncaring. But here's the thing: setting boundaries is an act of self love, not selfishness.

Even though it seems so simple, distinguishing between self care and selfishness is something I have yet to fully understand and put into practice. It is all about the process to shed these people-pleasing tendencies, and while I don't have all the answers yet, I'm letting myself sit with these feelings and learn from them. Any advice would be helpful.

I have found myself in sticky situations, all because I couldn't muster up the courage to say no. But you know who suffers when you say yes? You. And when you say no? well, nobody who truly cares about you suffers.

People pleasing? It's a disease, plain and simple. It's this deep-rooted belief that your worth hinges on other people's approval, but it is just extremely toxic.

I do not usually like using the word toxic anymore ever since it became a skewed concept in today's society, but this mindset truly is toxic to yourself. Now when it comes to other people, it is important to recognize genuinely harmful relationships, but not every disagreement automatically makes someone toxic. Sometimes people drift apart simply because they no longer align with our values and decision which is perfectly okay. So, instead of labeling people as toxic, I think it's helpful to shift the focus on understanding that our paths all diverge at a particular point in our lives.

Ultimately, every relationship, whether it lasts a lifetime or a season, teaches us valuable lessons about ourselves and others. In my case, so far, I have learned how to say no and honoring my own needs since it is crucial for personal growth and self-respect.

Thanks to whoever is reading my thoughts. Remember, it's not always about casting blame on others because you are too uncomfortable to say no; it is about honoring our own truth and respecting ourselves in the process.

my thoughts are subject to change, as I do a lot as I learn more about myself, but currently this is my truth.

#healthy boundaries #respect #self reflection #personal growth #recipes #therapy #people pleaser

[ohdudedhesflirting]

The problem is this society is that it a capitalist one. Productivity is more important then well being and that is something which I deplore immensely

Agree. Though I hate it more when companies say they have a good work life balance and care about their employees when they don’t really. Some are better for sure. But I guess no one would want to somewhere that’s like “we don’t really care about you…” idk idk maybe I just like complaining

Omg wow so you are aged then ? That’s so impressive ! Congratulations for going to the next door I am very proud of you darling. And yes do take some time off to focus on work 💛

I'm assuming you meant "round" instead of "door" 😬

I’ll still be on Tumblr to talk to my moots when I’m taking a break from being an adult (but I’ll try to make my convos short because sometimes when I intend to talk to people for like 10 to 20 minutes, it becomes like an hour instead whoops lol) so I can get motivated to go to work. 

Oooh so you are writerrrr I hope I read some of your work !

I’m an illiterate writer but that is a writer lmao.

A job in the public industry might be good because I think you will a job that is safe and well paid ! I believe in you for those interviews you are going to be amazing !

THANK YOU 🫶 Regardless of the result, it’ll be good practice at least.  In my field and country, the pay is a lot lower but at least it's secure and has a good pension apparently?? Less stressful for sure.

I love that IU song I think it’s one of her best one ! I don’t know most of those lol but I’m gonna take a listen to them and see if I like them as well <3 I recognize some the title but I’m not sure I actually know them and I don’t like that le serafim song it somehow gets in my nerves ? Like I’m a mess mess mess part makes my blood BOIL

Which IU song? I think I listed like three? 😝

OOOO..can you tell me why you don’t like that leserrafim song? I want to know (and I’ll try to recommend songs away from that for you). I personally didn’t like it at first but it’s grown to me. 

I’ve actually listened to all songs before except the first one (L’enfer by Stromae) so I'll listen to it today. I really like STAYC for their vocals. I’m okay with Enhyphen lol. xikers has potential. And speaking of xikers, I’m thinking of going to KCON LA this year (most likely for the Saturday concert and if I can get meet and greet tickets. Some sources say its random while some say you can pic. Its kind of a mess but it’ll likely be the only chance I get ZB1 because I’m too scared to go to concerts in South Korea and Japan).

🤙 anon

For me when a company, a school, or a university say they are a family it’s when it’s the worst... Will from my experience that’s when it was worse ! They are no good companies that actually care ? They pretend to but they actually don’t. But at least when they are pretending it’s a little bit better ? Idk how to explain

I did meant round I am sorry. Time managing is hard and I am proud of you for tying ! I’m sure it will work towards the way you want it to ! i’m cheering for you 💛

You are not an illiterate writer. For me there is no such thing as that and get ready for a sappy moment but writing is hard, very hard and having people read it is hard as well. Taking the courage of writing is something and many people get stuck. So don’t you are illiterate. I am sure you are brilliant.

If you allow let me tell you a bit about my story with writing. (You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to). I always write stuff, when I was a kid and I didn’t like the ending of a good I would take a pen and scribble over it. I was writing little stories as well. I started to write seriously when I was 13 yo. And I started writing 2 books at that moment (never finished them). I had some MAJOR health problems when I was 13-14-15 and I was doing very bad. Writing and reading helped me a lot. When I was around 17 I had ideas for a new book, I planned it and I wrote it. A whole book of more than 300 pages. My bay. I was 19 at that point and friends and my mom read it and loved it. I send it off to house of editions, and I was rejected. I think I must be at 7-10 rejections now ? Since then I feel sick whenever I try to write, what was once my comfort became something that me sick. Now I’m trying to get back to writing with those fanfic but the nauseous feeling is still there. (Lord I made myself sad lol)

Which is why I admire writers, writers that don’t give up, that kept on trying. So don’t say you are illiterate, i believe in you and I support you.

Job security is the real deal lemme tell you. And you are still young you can still have promotions !

It was the first IU song that was in the list. I have a terrible memory I am sorry.

For the lesserafim song it’s just aphas something in the melody that itches my brain the wrong way ? It’s the same for aespa songs actually every time I try to listen to one it make my brain itch in a bad way ? I guess it must be something in the melodies or the way the voices are arranged ?

Stromae is a Belgium singer/composer and he is amazing and the lyrics are always very deep ! Stayc vocals truly are amazing and I also think xikers have a lot of potential ! And I love enha I have two of their albums lol

First of all you are American ?? I feel like going to kcon would be an amazing experience and from what I remember the lineup is crazy ! If you feel like it’s your only chance to see them try and go for it ! That would be awesome memories ! (I totally get that going to Korea/ Japan is scary and could be very overwhelming!

Hydrate yourself a lot, eat a lot, take care I love you 💛

#🤙anon <3 #ohdudedhesflirting ask

[star-anise]

Ok, I'll bite. What *is* the difference between Bridgerton and Jane Austen in relationship to their skirts?

Oh! Not in their costuming, just in their general *waves hands* everything. It's a comment I see a lot about Bridgerton: "Well, it's not much like Austen, is it?"

That's because there are 200 years of literary history between the two, and they have not been empty!

This ended up being 1.5k words, but when I put stuff under a readmore, people don't actually read it and then just yell at me because of a misread of the 1/10th of the post they did read. Press j to skip or get ready to do a lot of scrolling (It takes four generous flicks to get past on my iPhone).

First I'll say my perspective on this is hugely shaped by Sherwood Smith, who has done a lot of research on silver fork novels and the way the Regency has been remembered in the romance genre.

The Regency and Napoleonic eras stretch from basically the 1790s to 1820, and after that, it was hard to ignore the amount of social change happening in Britain and Europe. The real watershed moment is the 1819 Peterloo Massacre, where 60,000 working-class people protesting for political change were attacked by a militia. The issues of poverty, class, industrialization, and social change are inescapable, and we end up with things like the 1832 Reform Act and 1834 Poor Law.

This is why later novelists, like Charles Dickens and Elizabeth Gaskell, are so concerned with the experiences of the urban poor. Gaskell's North and South has been accurately described as "Pride and Prejudice for socialists."

So almost as soon as it ended, people started to look back and mythologize the Regency as a halcyon era, back when rich people could just live their rich lives and fret about "only" having three hundred pounds a year to live on. Back when London society was the domain of hereditary landowners, when you weren't constantly meeting with jumped-up industrialists and colonials.

Jane Austen is kind of perfect for this because she comes at the very end of the long eighteenth century, and her novels show hints of the tremors that are about to completely reshape England, but still comfortably sit in the old world. ("The Musgroves, like their houses, were in a state of alteration, perhaps of improvement. The father and mother were in the old English style, and the young people in the new. Mr and Mrs Musgrove were a very good sort of people; friendly and hospitable, not much educated, and not at all elegant. Their children had more modern minds and manners.")

Sherwood Smith covers the writers who birthed the Silver Fork genre in detail, but there's one name that stands out in its history more than any other: Georgette Heyer.

Georgette Heyer basically single-handedly established the Regency Romance as we know it today. Between 1935 and 1972, she published 26 novels set in a meticulously researched version of London of the late 18th and early 19th century. She took Silver Fork settings and characters and turned them into a highly recognizable set of tropes, conventions, and types. (As Sherwood points out, her fictional Regency England isn't actually very similar to the period as it really happened; it's like Arthurian Camelot, a mythical confection with a dash of truth for zest.)

Regency Romance is an escapist genre in which a happy, prosperous married life is an attainable prize that will solve everything for you. Georgette Heyer's novels are bright, sparkling, delightful romps through a beautiful and exotic world. Her female characters have spirit and vivacity, and are allowed to have flaws and make mistakes without being puritanically punished for them. Her romances have real unique sparks to them. She's able to write a formula over and over without it becoming dull.

And.... well. The essay that introduced me to Heyer still, in my opinion, says it best:

Here's the thing about Georgette Heyer: she hates you. Or, okay, she doesn't hate you, exactly. It's just that unless you are white, English, and upper class (and hale, and hearty, and straight, and and and), she thinks you are a lesser being. [...W]ith Heyer, I knew where I stood: somewhere way below the bottom rung of humanity. Along with everyone else in the world except Prince William and four of his friends from Eton, which really took away the sting. But my point is: if you are not that white British upper-class person of good stock and hearty bluffness and a large country estate, the only question for you is which book will contain a grimly bigoted caricature of you featuring every single stereotyped trait ever associated with your particular group. (You have to decide for yourself if really wonderful female characters and great writing are worth the rest of it.)

So Heyer created the genre, but she exacerbated the flaw that was always at the heart of fiction about the Regency, was that its appeal was not having to deal with the inherent rot of the British aristocracy. I think part of why it's such a popular genre in North America specifically is that we often don't know much British history, so we can focus more on the perfume and less on the dank odor it's hiding.

And like, escapism is not a bad thing. Romance writers as a community have sat down and said: We are an escapist genre. The Romance Writers of America, one of the biggest author associations out there, back when they were good, have foundationally said: "Two basic elements comprise every romance novel: a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending." A strong part of the community argue that publishing in the genre is a "contract" between author and reader: If it's marketed as a romance book, there's a Happily Ever After. If there's no Happily Ever After, it's not romance.

It's important for people to be able to take a break from the stresses of their lives and do things that are enjoyable. But the big question the romance genre in particular has to deal with is, who should be allowed to escape? Is it really "escapist" if only white, straight, upper class, able-bodied thin cis people get to escape into it? In historical romance, this is especially an issue for POC and LGBTQ+ people. It's taken a lot of work, in a genre dominated by the Georgette Heyers of the world, to try to hew out the space for optimistic romances for people of colour or LGBTQ+ people. These are minority groups that deal with a literally damaging amount of stress in real lives; they are in especial need of sources of comfort, refuge, community, and encouragement. For brief introductions to the issue, I can give you Talia Hibbert on race, and KJ Charles on LGBTQ+ issues.

Up until the 1990s, the romance genre evolved slowly. It did evolve; Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan's Beyond Heaving Bosoms charts the demise of the "bodice-ripper" genre as it became more acceptable for women to have and enjoy sex. The historical romance genre became more accommodating to non-aristocratic heroines, or ones that weren't thin or conventionally pretty. The first Bridgerton book, The Duke and I, was published in 2000, and has that kind of vibe: Its characters are all white but not all of them are aristocrats, its heroines are frequently not conventionally beautiful and occasionally plump, and its cultivation to modern sensibility is reflected in its titles, which reference popular media of today.

This is just my impression, but I think that while traditional mainstream publishing was beginning to diversify in the 1990s, the Internet was what really made diverse romance take off. Readers, reviewers, and authors could talk more freely on the internet, which allowed books to become unlikely successes even if their publishers didn't promote them very much. Then e-publishing meant that authors could market directly to their readers without the filter of a publishing house, and things exploded. Indie ebooks proved that there was a huge untapped market.

One of my favourite books, Zen Cho's Sorcerer to the Crown, is an example of what historical romance is like today; it's a direct callback and reclamation of Georgette Heyer, with a dash of "Fuck you and all your prejudices" on top of it. It fearlessly weaves magic into a classic Heyer plot, maintaining the essential structure while putting power into the hands of people of colour and non-Western cultures, enjoying the delights of London society while pointing out and dodging around the rot. It doesn't erase the ugliness, but imagines a Britain that is made better because its poor, its immigrants, its people of colour, and the foreign countries it interacts with have more power to make their voices heard and to enforce their wills. Another book I've loved that does the same thing is Courtney Milan's The Duke Who Didn't.

So then... Bridgerton the TV show is trying to take a book series with a very middle-of-the-road approach to diversity, differing from Heyer but not really critiquing her, and giving it a facelift to bring it up to date.

So to be honest, although it's set in the same time period as Austen, it's not in the least her literary successor. It's infinitely more "about" the past 30 years of conversation and art in the romance genre than it is about books written 200 years ago.

#staranise original #regency romance #bridgerton #long post

[silk-and-sakura]

Let’s talk about Byakuya and Rukia in the Soul Society arc for a minute

So check it out. When they’re first introduced, Byakuya is horribly cold and contemptuous, and we don’t know this yet, but it’s actually rather out of character for him.

Now, we all know we all know what happens in the beginning, Byakuya floats around the Soul Society generally being kind of a dick to everyone and saying that he’s not going to do anything about it because she’s a criminal, yadda yadda, etc etc, yes Byakuya we know you’re very dramatic.

Now, just after his fight with Renji, he makes his way to Soukyoku Hill for her execution. The first scene we see is this one here, where he walks up and avoids eye contact with Rukia.

Now, at first glance, and especially considering the way he’s been acting for the last fifty chapters or so, this looks like a brush-off. Like he’s not looking at her because he doesn’t even care and it’s all beneath him. But I don’t think it really is, because we find out later that he regretted his actions through this whole thing. I think he won’t look at her because he can’t. She looks just like Hisana, and he promised he would protect her, but not only is he about to basically watch Hisana die again, he’s also reminded how he failed and broke his promise.

Then, Ichigo swoops in at the last minute like he does and Byakuya, bound by his duty, fights him. Now, Byakuya’s expressions have always been extremely subtle, and they’re easy to miss with everything else thats going on, but right here, Byakuya looks furious when he asks Ichigo why he’s trying to save Rukia. Ichigo counters by asking why her own brother won't save her, and Byakuya, even if only for an instant, looks so sad.

He says Ichigo wouldn’t understand, and that turns out to be true, Ichigo doesn’t get why Byakuya wouldn’t fight a law that condemned his own sister to death. Ichigo thinks he’s got his priorities wrong.

And Ichigo tells him as much. He says Byakuya is being a fucking terrible brother and that his actions are disgusting

And Ichigo is not wrong. I know it, you know it, and I think Byakuya know it too. I wish we could see a little more of Byakuya’s expression here when he says that, but based on how angry he is for the rest of the fight, I think its safe to say it at least pissed him off. Especially because he also knows Ichigo is right, but what was he supposed to do?

Okay, now here, there is a HUGE and VERY IMPORTANT difference between the anime and the manga. Byakuya finally deigns to tell Ichigo why he’s doing what he’s doing. In the anime, he says something like “such sentiments are useless,” like he’s too good for things like caring about people. In the manga, he says “Familial devotion is nothing next to the law, I must not succumb to sentimentality.”

He says “I must not succumb…” as if he does feel familial devotion, but he’s not allowed to let it affect his actions. Byakuya is bound by the obligations of the Soul Society and his clan. He is expected to act a certain way because he represents not only the Gotei 13 as captain, but also the entire Kuchiki family as head. He wasn’t being a dick because he’s a terrible person. He is a brother who is trapped by the expectations placed on him, and its a lot easier to hide his emotions by lashing out and being outwardly cold.

As evidenced here! Byakuya appears at the last minute to stand in front of the sword that would have killed his sister. He is clearly pissed off, but look at the eyebrows. He softens ever so slightly when he looks down at her in that second panel.

If he really wanted her dead, if he genuinely didn’t care about her and thought that she was nothing more than a criminal that deserved her fate, why take a near-fatal strike to the fucking heart to save her life?

And on the very next page, just… look at them

Rukia is wondering why he would do something like that for her, but as Aizen steps closer, she pulls Byakuya against her and protects him. Despite everything that Byakuya had done up to this point, she loves him and her first instinct is to keep him safe

And when it’s all over, Byakuya asks for her and says he needs to tell her something

Look how wrecked he looks here. He says that what he has to say has been weighing heavily on his heart.

As he confesses to Rukia, he looks so upset. And then he smiles at her, ever so slightly, as she holds his hand.

When it’s all over, he reaches for Rukia and apologizes to her, asks her for her forgiveness. He knows he was wrong and in his bid to fulfill his duties, he forgot his duty to her.

Throughout this whole arc, he’s been in somewhat of a freefall. His life has always been, up to this point, very structured by his duty as captain and his obligation to his clan. He’s lived by a firm set of rules and etiquette laid out by his predecessors, so his path forward has always been clear. Until, it’s not, and he doesn’t know what to do. Suddenly, he’s stripped of everything he’d always used to guide his actions.

Remember that he is still relatively young by Soul Society standards, and a large part of his adult life has been spent grieving his wife. The wife that his own clan protested very loudly against. All of these things have taught him how to bury his feelings, to put the mask on and harden his heart. He’s always been taught that he can’t afford to allow his emotions to get in the way of his duty.

Let it never be said that Byakuya doesn’t feel emotions.

He very obviously loves his sister, but he’s been lost in his grief and bound by his station. He is simply not allowed such indulgences, and that’s why he seems so cold and unfeeling.

#bleach #byakuya kuchiki #kuchiki byakuya #rukia kuchiki #kuchiki rukia #character study #god theyre just #i have feelings