#jeonfiles

[jeonfiles]

sweetest apparition 01│ jjk

pairings: nerd!jungkook x popular!female reader

genre: angst with a bit of fluff and a bittersweet ending (and the tamest smut you’ve ever read)

synopsis: he admired you from a distance. everyone did. you're serene, words dance like ballerinas of your tongue, stars aligning when you laugh, the wind was made to sway with your hair, you were just too good for the world, and you would never know his name.

warnings: !! graphic deceptions of domestic abuse!! , jungkook is a little too in love, oc is kinda obsessed too, mentions of alcohol and drug abuse

wc: 12k oops

a/n: if you're triggered by domestic abuse pls don't read, i will write other stories without a single mention of it soon, im sorry i love you :( this story is just everything i wanted to write for so long and i hope you don't think its cliche lol

++ started writing this in 2021 and it took me so long to finish

masterlist │ my cc

14 days

A loud smack echoed in the dark living room, the smell of alcohol making him sick to his stomach, cheek red from the impact. He carefully held his palm up against his cheek as he prayed to god for someone to save him from this awful household, and his father's clutch.

Jungkook wasn't a crier, he had grown accustomed to the lack of parental love, yet it still stung a little when he heard his father curse at him, questioning why he even had kids. Dragging his feet down the wood-covered halls, Jungkook scrunched his nose in disgust as he saw mold growing on the walls, and he had no idea what to do with it.

His feet took him all the way to his room, dimly lit up with a little nightlight he had bought at the town's annual festival, and next to it was a birthday card from a few years back, which you had given him. He wasn't a stalker, it was just the only birthday card he had gotten from anyone. You were both 11 back then, and Jungkook had invited the whole grade to a party at his grandma's house.

No one showed up the first 20 minutes, and Jungkook cried in his grandma's arms until the doorbell rang, and a sniffling Jungkook opened the door to see you, smiling brightly, stretching out your birthday card with two ten thousand won bills paper-clipped inside.

Jungkook appreciated how you didn't pity him that day, how you didn't even ask about the other guests' absence. You just devoured the chocolate cake together, both laughing at each other and your glaze-stained faces. You never spoke to Jungkook afterward, yet you still left the biggest mark in his heart, and he would never, ever in his life forget you, and how you lit up a broken little boy's heart forever.

Tears prickling in his eyes, blinking them away, gone as fast as they came. He went to sleep early that night, knowing he would see you tomorrow, possibly the only thing keeping him from completely giving up. You were his everything, the light of his life, shimmer in his eyes, despite you not remembering his name. He didn't care, he would just continue fantasizing till it swallows him whole.

13 days

The front strands of your ponytail fell down in your face as you laughed joyously, bubbles brewing in his stomach as he tightened his grip on the book he was reading, The Lover by Marguerite Duras, a disturbing book, which he wasn't focusing on at all.

You were laying down in the grass, frilly pink skirt and a white top, summer breeze warm and comforting, as you giggled with two of your many friends, Jihan and Sooyoung.

The two last weeks of school before the summer break was your favorite, your report cards had been handed out and the school didn't require you to wear uniforms either, so you could wear all the pretty clothes you had bought, preparing for the hot weather.

A guy approached you, which Jungkook recognized as Kim Taehyung, your best friend, with who you were very comfortable, a bit too much for Jungkook's liking.

His whole stomach twisted into a harsh knot when he threw his arms playfully around her neck, quite literally, because he could feel his breakfast come up his throat as he gripped onto the bench, hurling onto the grass. In some ways, he knew it was coming. He had felt the weird feeling in his stomach since he woke up.

"Oh god... Look at Jungkook!" Jihan chuckled, a vicious tone in her laugh. A frown formed on your face, feeling bad for him, so you loosened yourself from Taehyung as you reached for your purse to approach him.

"Jihan." You gave her a cold stare, and she looked away awkwardly, "I'll be back soon." Already rushing over to the boy who was about to wipe his mouth with his hand.

"You shouldn't-!" You exclaim, and he freezes. He's still hanging, face facing the grass, huddled over the bench, saliva dripping from his mouth, probably an attempt to get rid of the gruesome taste.

Jungkook slowly turned his head to face you, and his whole body froze when he met your sympathetic gaze. Digging through your purse you found makeup wipes, holding one out for him to grab. He didn't take it, so you leaned forward to wipe his mouth yourself. "Yuck, this must've been horrible. Are you okay?" You smiled as the tissue met the corner of his mouth, with no trace of disgust on your face.

He didn't try to pull back either, he was so mesmerized by your face up close, he genuinely thought his fantasies had finally swallowed him whole.

Jungkook had an unreadable expression on his face, he was pale like milk, and you felt worried and contemplated calling for a teacher, but you realized they could probably not do any more than you could, considering you were outside of campus, in the park on the other side of town for another foolish class outing.

Placing the used wipe on the bench next to him, he winced and moved a little away from it, and you just felt relieved that he wasn't completely dead. You grabbed a water bottle from your purse, holding it for him so he could drink. It was a hot summer day, the scorching heat had probably gotten to him, lips dry like sandpaper.

He took a few sips, hesitating for a while until he kept drinking. "You must've been so lightheaded, you have to take care of yourself." He only nodded in response. You threw the wipes away and buttered up your hands in hand sanitizer and hand cream before getting comfortable on the bench next to Jungkook.

"Sorry if you don't want me next to you, but I don't think you should be alone like this. You have anyone who can pick you up?" He pondered on your question, only for a short while, until he realized, he had absolutely no one.

"No." He spoke dryly, voice weak and vulnerable. It made you want to protect him, but all you did was sit back in silence, placing your hand on Jungkook's knee, and he grimaced in pain, letting out a small whine.

"Shit, I´m so sorry!" You pulled your hand away, smiling apologetically. Your friends looked at you, questioning looks on their faces as to why you were sitting next to someone like Jungkook.

You brushed them off, and Jungkook crossed his arms protectively, and you felt a pang of guilt. He had only uttered a single word to you, as simple as "No."

When he lifted his arms up, you took it as an opportunity to let your eyes wander, noticing how frail the boy was, how his skin was light as day, and his bicep covered in a purple bruise on his arm, you couldn't help but think he had been sick for a while.

"Let's move out of the sun." You smiled, standing up and taking his hand, and he slowly got up, and you offered a second hand to help him get stable.

His legs were wobbly, the emotions were too much for him. He was holding your hand, you were caring for him, just like you did many years back. You hadn't changed, you were still an angel and not a product of his imagination.

The tears that had been welling up in his eyes last night finally came to the surface, endlessly rolling down his cheeks. You could nearly feel the sting as you heard his quiet sobbing and saw his cheeks turn splotchy red.

He looked embarrassed, mortified actually. You quickly placed his arm over your shoulder, as you started walking away from the open areas of the park. The bus station was close by, so you walked away from the park and your teachers, and none of you seemed to care.

A bus you took quite often luckily passed by, and you waved for it to stop, and of course, the bus driver stopped for you, a sight to behold, and you halted onto the bus with a sniffling Jungkook.

You both looked at each other, eyes widening when you realized that you had skipped school. Chuckling together, your heart warmed up, finally, he was smiling.

You wiped his tear with his thumb as you swore you would protect him from all danger. You both went separate ways that evening after you paid for some cheap mediocre sandwiches at the gas station, not talking much.

12 days left

The next time you see Jungkook, it's no different from the first, he's in yet another pitiful situation, nervously picking up all the books he had just dropped on the ground when crashing into Moonbin, another sleaze who has tried it with you.

"Watch your step dweeb," Moonbin growled, placing a foot on Jungkook's shoulder, pushing him down so his head hits the gravel.

Poor Jungkook groaned in agony, throbbing pain as he rushed to pick up the rest of his books, muttering sorry over and over again.

"Moonbin, what the fuck is your problem?" You stepped in, his saving angel. God had sent you to aid him, he was sure of it. "What has he ever done to you?" You spat, standing between the two boys.

Moonbin was a good 6'3, his height a little intimidating, yet you didn't budge. "Y/N-ah, seriously, stay out of it." His expression softened at the sight of you, and it only made you even angrier, stepping with full force on his foot, making him yell in agony, the little heel crushing his toes.

"Jungkook is my friend, and you don't mess with my friends." You smiled proudly, shooing Moonbin and his bruised ego away before you sat down on the ground with Jungkook, who looked at you like you possessed the world's greatest treasures.

You knew his name. You, Y/N Y/L/N, knew his name. He could squeal in happiness any second, luckily his throbbing headache kept him grounded, adoration glazing his pretty eyes. He had a little bruise on his forehead from the gravel, luckily no blood, and you didn't dare touch it, afraid Jungkook would cry out in pain again like he did two days ago.

You followed him to the bathroom, offering to hold his stuff for him, even his phone, case decorated in Undertale and Zelda stickers, and you laughed to yourself as you traced the stickers with your fingers. Out of a sudden, the buzzes from his phone wouldn't stop, and you flipped his phone around to see series of messages on his lock screen.

Dad 04:37pm

Where are you

You idior come home or i'l, throw your shit ouvt

Ungsteful brat no wonder your mom left tou

Heart dropping to the floor, you dismissed the messages and pretended you had never even seen them, scared Jungkook would close up again as he had finally started talking to you.

When he exited the bathroom, you pretended you hadn't seen anything, yet the lump in your stomach just grew bigger every time you looked at him. You started noticing, how his eyes were puffy, bags under his eyes, one cheek redder than the other, how skinny Jungkook was, and it made you shiver.

"A-are you.. alright?" He asked softly, and you only nodded, pressing your books up against your chest, trying to suppress whatever emotions you so desperately wanted to show.

He followed you home that evening, and you nearly cried out for him not to leave, not to go home to his dad who's texts had scared the living daylights out of you, so you reached for his hand.

"Stay for a while?" You pleaded, smiling, and he could see a little hurt in your eyes. He wanted to, so badly. Then he realized that he had a father at home, so he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, my dad wants me home." And you could hear the fear in his voice as he got ready to leave. His lips reduced into a thin line as you pouted.

"Give me your number at least." You smiled, despite being afraid, and he obliged, typing his number in on your phone, being extremely cautious because of the price of your new iPhone 12, while he was stuck with the iPhone 5.

He turned on his heel, and you couldn't stop him. He slipped out of your hands, your grip. You gulped, watching him walk till he was out of sight. You tossed and turned the whole night, which you never did, you always fell asleep in minutes. You were worried, a few dry cries probably left your mouth.

11 days left

He was present in class the next morning, a feeling of relief as you saw him with his nose down in another book, yet he looked even more defeated than yesterday. He ignored your smiles, he just looked at you with a dead expression and pushed his glasses up his nose, throwing his hoodie over his head, looking back down into his books.

Class ended, and you gracefully walked over to Jungkook's desk, because it seemed like he had no intention of getting up. "I made extra lunch this morning so we could share. You never eat during break so-"

"Y/N, leave." He pointed at the door, all the other students leaving, signaling for you to leave with them, you refused, and pulled out a chair to sit in front of him.

"You're all skin and bones, Jungkook. Let's enjoy this meal together, I can be silent if you want." You shrugged, grabbing two bento boxes from your backpack.

"Why do you care? Don't you have friends you should be spending time with?" Jungkook spat, not even willing to look you in the eyes.

You just kept smiling, opening the boxes carefully and handing him a pair of chopsticks, "You're my friend too, Kook-ah," and he accepted, a small grin appearing on his face.

He loves you, he absolutely loves you. He doesn't even mind that you feel nothing for him, you are so, so perfect. Jungkook could stare at you all day, letting your beauty sink in time and time again. He wants to hold you because you're so close to him, but he knows that you're two worlds apart, no matter the distance between you two.

You could hold him so tight he'd turn blue and you'd still be so god damn far away, you were so out of his league, as cliche as it sounds, it's completely true.

Eating together in silence as you promised. Jungkook was completely engulfed in your sweet, silent beauty, how you resembled a wave that hits the shore with such ease, splashing everywhere, landing as simple drops of water, which couldn't hurt anyone.

You weren't loud and outrageous, you enjoy moments of silence, you love everything enclosed, safe and sound company, exactly like Jungkook.

"You wanna come to my house today?" You break the comfortable silence.

"I can't." He replies, sounding awfully sad.

You could ask why, but you chose not to. You didn't want to pick scabs off wounds you couldn't see, so you waited till he told you yourself. Hoping he would.

"Okay. You have my number though, can we text tonight?" You smile, knowing it's weird to ask someone to text you, but Jungkook was weird too, so it didn't matter.

He nodded and continued reading a book you knew nothing about. You appreciate a good book, classics like Catcher in the Rye, and How to kill a mocking bird, but it seemed like Jungkook had taken the next step into the world of literature.

He made you happy, his company felt good. Nothing could hurt you now, yet everything could hurt Jungkook, and you swore you felt nauseous just thinking about it. You knew what was happening in his home, but you needed him to tell you, trust you, before you could help him. Give him what he deserves, he just needs to hang in there for a little while longer.

"Can't we skip school tomorrow, we can do something then? It won't affect our report cards!" You shake him excitedly, yet carefully, like he's fragile

"They'll call home, my parents are already mad at me for a bad grade I got last week." Jungkook sighs, closing the book he was reading. He lets out a weak, quiet yawn.

You think he's pretty like this, eyes puffy and lips pouted, hair messy, glasses resting on his nose. Jungkook has the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen, and you swore to god you could drown in them.

10 days left

See tags for warnings.

He dragged his feet down the pavement of a busy street, trapping onto his heavy backpack. It was a long walk since he had missed the bus home from school. He was tired today, even worse than yesterday. The summer sun was frying him alive, forehead covered in drops of sweat, hair sticking to his forehead.

Wearing a sweater and jeans was probably not the most comfortable choice, but sure as hell the most secure one. He hated his legs, and his arms covered in purple and blue bruises, and how he wasn't fit at all, in fact, he had never entered a gym before.

Sometimes, he'd take the long way home. He tried to convince himself that it was for health reasons, that he needed the extra steps because all he did was stay in his room. Jungkook knew it was untrue. The only reason he took the long way home is because of his father and his unpredictable mood swings. Sometimes, he'd be in a good mood. He might even offer Jungkook the remote and the best spot in the sofa after a long school day.

Today, he was just so exhausted he even took a shortcut. He just needed a nap and something to eat. Opening the front door, he carefully stepped inside. His dad was on the back porch, smoking a cigarette and listening to the radio. Jungkook couldn't tell what kind of mood he was in. When he went to get something to eat, the fridge was nearly empty. Just some cheese and a few jars of jam. Maybe he could find some crackers to eat it with.

Looking closer at the cheese, it was expired. There were no crackers in the cupboard either. He had to approach his dad and see what mood he was in. Slowly sliding the glass door open, he called out with his softest voice:

"Dad?" His voice quivered.

His father turned around abruptly, seeing his son in the doorway. "What do you want now? I can't drive you to school if that's what you're gonna ask me. If you missed the bus you can walk." Jungkook heard his voice getting more irritable towards the end of the sentence.

He had to be so so careful.

"Uh, no... I just got home from school." He stopped to think for a while and his dad raised his eyebrows. "There's no food in the fridge. I was just gonna remind you that you need to go to the grocery store."

Jungkook´s father stood up, pushing his chair back.

"Who are you to tell me what I need to do?" He came closer and Jungkook braced himself. "You're just like your useless mother. Can't do anything on your own." He hadn't raised his voice yet.

"Sorry... M´sorry..." Jungkook muttered underneath his breath. At some point in his life he stopped defending his mom. It was somewhat true. She was useless, at least to him. She had ran away from her husband, Jungkook´s father, and started a new family with a nice husband. She deserved all of that at the time and promised to come back for Jungkook once everything was settled a few weeks later.

She never came.

"I can't believe I messed my life up so bad. Look at your mother running away from her own son, to think that I married her! Even worse, look at the son that I raised. Such a weak and sad boy. I can't even call you a man." He was yelling and Jungkook knew he was only seconds away from hurting him again.

Jungkook couldn´t even bother replying before his head hit the porch floor. He was still conscious and his dad pulled him up by the collar for another round.

When he was done, Jungkook limped his way into his bedroom and his dad sunk back into his chair and turned up the music even louder. He sat down in his bed and slowly took his hood off, wincing from the pain. His mind drifted elsewhere and landed on the thought of you. How your kindness and care could have calmed him down in seconds.

He picked up his phone and looked at the text from you from last night.

Y/N 9:17 pm - Yesterday

Hi Jungkook, how are you? ❤️ I can see that you're reading these :( Read 9:19

Jungkook 5:45 pm

Sorry. Hi. To be honest I could be better. How about you?

Y/N 5:49 pm

Happy you replied and sad to hear that you're not doing well. I really want you to come to my house tomorrow 🙏 I even told my parents that I made a new friend who's not related to my current friend circle and they couldn't be happier!! Pretty pretty pleaseee

Jungkook hesitated for a while. Considering his dad couldn't even grasp that it was 4 pm when he came home and not 7 in the morning makes him believe that he won't notice his absence for a few hours tomorrow. And even if he did, it would be worth it.

Jungkook 5:57 pm

Fineee

Y/N 5:58 pm

Yayy I can't wait!!

For the first time in a while, Jungkook wasn't dreading waking up in the morning.

9 days left

Jungkook 1:22 pm

Should we meet a slight distance away from school or should I just go directly to your house?

Y/N 1:25 pm

What are u saying? Meet me by the main entrance and we'll walk together!!

And so he did. You walked out the main entrance with your entire friend group and you smiled brightly as your eyes met with his. He was caught off guard by your lack of shame. "See you guys tomorrow!" You smiled brightly, and all your friends stared back with a confused look as you skipped towards Jungkook.

"What are you doing?" Jihan exclaimed. You turned around to her and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I´m gonna hang out with my friend!" All of your friends looked at you funny and you pushed Jungkook along.

"Sorry they're being such idiots to you. I try to make them stop but I think they have some deep rooted insecurities." You chuckled after a while of silence.

"It´s fine." Jungkook forced a smile and looked you in the eyes.

"No, it's really not fine and you need to stop saying that." You came to a halt and he turned to you. He didn't say anything and you couldn't read his facial expressions.

He knew he was dead silent and you probably thought it was weird. Only right now was he taking in how beautiful this side of town was. Large mansion style houses with three cars parked outside each house, modern communal parks and clean streets. You fit in so perfectly here.

If he closed his eyes real tight and concentrated very hard he could imagine himself as a family man in one of these stunning houses. Maybe he could own a Benz that he could take his kids to school in. They would never take the bus and they'd always come home to open arms and a homemade meal on the table.

Warm and lighthearted conversations at the dining table with his wife and children, everything his mom and dad couldn't give him. A pat on the back if they fail a test and not a slap in the face. That's what he wanted to give his children.

Jungkook was lost in thought and so were you. You were stood there thinking about how stunningly pretty Jungkook was. When you were close to him it was almost heartbreaking how it hasn't been appreciated more. How his face belonged on a canvas. That's what you thought of him. You aren't the type to stay silent when you really mean something. For some reason the words just don't come out the right way when you're with him.

"Are your parents home?" He questioned as you kept walking.

"My mom probably. My dad will be home for dinner."

The rest of the evening goes smoothly. Your mom loves Jungkook and constantly gushes about how well mannered he is. Your dad appreciates that he only speaks when he is spoken to and that he has realistic ambitions. You spend most of your time in the upstairs living room playing a stupid board game and watching a dumb sitcom.

It's quiet most of the time but the both of you can feel that you enjoy each others company. Just simply co-existing and not being alone feels nice for the both of you.

As Jungkook is putting his shoes on to leave, your mom walks in. "Jungkook-ah, why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow as well? You're such a pleasure to have as a guest." She proposes, and he nods.

"If Y/N wants to spend time with me two days in a row." He chuckles slightly.

"You know I do."

He smiles, you exchanged goodbyes and he shuts the door behind him. Both you and your mom stay silent for a while before she breaks the silence.

"I hope this boy isn't a pity project to you, honey. You can obviously see that he's struggling and you can't just leave him behind when you're bored of him. He needs you more than you need him." She places her cold hand on your shoulder as she leaves you standing in the hallway.

You're not so sure that he really needs you more than you need him, because you so desperately need a friend.

8 days left

"Jungkookie, can I tell you a secret?" You're situated on your queen bed with floral sheets, both sitting with your legs crossed like 5th grade girls. Jungkook looked up and raised an eyebrow curiously at you as he nodded slowly.

"I was hanging with the wrong crowd a while ago. Not that I'm hanging out with the right crowd now, but you get the expression." You chewed your bottom lip nervously before you continue. "You know when I left school for a month to go to the Caribbeans?"

He lifted his eyebrows and widened his eyes in a "Yes... And?" type of way.

"I wasn´t in the Caribbeans. I was in rehab. An old friend of mine overdosed and I had to get drug tested. I tested positive on coke and my parents shipped me straight off to rehab." His expression softened as he placed a hand on your knee just like you had done to him a few days earlier.

"I was so mad at the time, I wanted to get emancipated from my parents. Today, I'm grateful. Grateful that they helped me so I didn't have to suffer the same fate as my friend." You sigh so deeply you could feel tears stinging in your eyes, but you managed to keep them down.

"Why´d you do it? Take the drugs I mean?" Jungkook asked ever so carefully, and you knew he only meant well.

"I guess I wanted to feel something." You shrug. "I think that´s why everyone does drugs in one way or another. To either feel or not feel." You smile sheepishly.

"What's your secret?" Feeling a little vulnerable and naked, you divert the attention to him. Maybe you're hoping to hear something about his dad. If he hurts Jungkook. That's what you suspect by the clothes Jungkook wears in this hot weather. How he always tugs at his sleeves.

"I want to study nursing." You stare at him and he knows it not as interesting as what you told him. "I haven't told anyone, ever. Maybe it's not what you wanted to hear but to me it's a secret." He stared down in his lap, not meeting your gaze. Chipping at the loose skin around a sore on his hand.

"That's really cool Kook-ah. I'm happy I'm the first to know." He looks back up at you. "Where have you applied?"

"I applied to PNU but tuition wise I think INJE or Dong-A is more realistic."

All of the universities he has applied to are all in Busan and you swore you could hear your own heart shatter. "Busan, really?"

"My aunt lives there and offered to let me stay with her for the first years of my studies." He chimed happily. "I guess I don't have the best relationship with my dad."

You decided not to push it, not to ask any questions quite yet.

"How about you Y/N-ah?" You liked the way your name slipped of his tongue so gently.

"I´ve already accepted my spot at Yonsei. I'm gonna study dentistry, so I guess we'll be in the healthcare field together." You smile, but you can't help that you're looking quite disappointed. In some ways you were hoping for Jungkook to be your forever friend, not a friend you occasionally see whenever you're in each others cities.

"When are you leaving for Busan?" You question.

"After summer, I guess."

7 days left

The empty desk in the classroom makes your insides feel like they're gonna twist and turn and send your breakfast back up your throat. His empty desk.

The two of you had grown abnormally close over the past few days, texting all night and spending the daytime together in some kind of way. Maybe it's because neither of you know how healthy friendships are supposed to be paced, you feel like you've been friends forever.

The entire day went by and all you heard was the tuned out noise of your loud friends yelling across the lunch table with nothing interesting to say at all. Only shit talk and gossip. There's always a new guy or girl to talk shit about. Usually, you wouldn't participate in the chitchat, so they didn't notice your sullen mood today.

No matter how much you tried to paint yourself as a saint or a saviour, you only saw an accomplice when you looked in the mirror. You had the power to make them stop picking on so many people, in some way, they saw you as their leader. Maybe they'd abandon you at some point, but wouldn't it be worth it?

Despite the fact that you never encouraged it, you never stopped them either. So you weren't better than them in any way although you liked to believe so. You liked the validating feeling of them obeying the things you told them to do, and you guessed that´s why you're too scared to confront them. You're scared that they'll rebel against you and leave you behind.

Y/N 11:21 am

Kook-ah, where are u?

Jungkook 11:24 am

At home The walk back from your house gave me a cold I think

Y/N 11:25 am

Oh no :( Get well soon and text me tn!! <3

You knew he was lying and you could feel your heart hurting from lunch time till you were in bed staring at the ceiling. "Honey! Dinner is ready!" Your mom yelled from downstairs, and you barely heard it through your door.

"Not hungry!" You yelled back, continuing the intense stare-off with your ceiling. Your mind explored deep and dark places when you were alone. Letting your mind slip back to your past or the worst experiences throughout your life was very typical of you to do.

The text message you sent to Jungkook is left unread. Until it isn't anymore.

Jungkook 8:21 pm

I really need you right now

You started blankly at the screen, heart pounding in your chest whilst typing your message.

Y/N 8:21 pm

Ofc, where r u???

Jungkook shared his location with you for 1 hour

You raced down the stairs, and your parents looked at you confusedly as you rushed past them and put on your running shoes in the hallway. You so badly wished you had your license. Darting out the door and slamming the door behind you, you weren't thinking straight. The air was cold for a summer night, but it was still bright out.

Jungkook lived on the other side of Goyang, a city right outside Seoul that you both resided in. Walking would probably take you 45 minutes at least. You didn't care. The wind ran through your hair as your breath was pacing. You made awfully loud noises as it was starting to get tiring. You refused to stop running, you couldn't stop running. Your body wouldn't let you.

The location Jungkook sent you was a park, and you guessed it was close to his house. Sometimes you picked up your phone for directions but you never stopped running, you only slowed down to a jog. A faint iron taste was present in your mouth and you were heaving for air, but he needed you.

Someone finally needs you.

You ran across busy roads, cars honking and people yelling out their car windows after you. At some point you even fell and twisted your ankle, but it only slowed you down slightly. At some point you start thinking of other means of transportation you could've turned to to get to him. This felt more rewarding.

"He needs me!" You yelled out like a crazy woman to motivate yourself as you picked up your pace.

"Your destination is 1 minute away." Your phone said from your back pocket. You looked around, and a bench with a silhouette sitting on it caught your eye. You ran over, head banging and feet sore.

You stopped abruptly in front of him, trying to catch your breath. You met his gaze. His teary-eyed gaze. All you could do was throw your arms around him and hold him ever so tightly. He sniffled into your cardigan and held you close.

He was gonna be okay. You didn't ask any questions that night.

6 days left

You were nibbling on a mozzarella stick your mom had packed in your lunchbox. Everyone else was eating the cafeteria food, but you couldn't stand the nauseating creamy pasta they served every other week. All your friends were talking about something you couldn´t focus on. Suddenly a few girls rushed over and shouted your name.

"YN-ah!! They're fighting over you!" You recognised a few of the girls; Jisoo, Heejin and Soomin. They had math class with you, and god, they were loud. Loud but kind. They´d always include you in their conversations since none of your friends were in that class.

You shook your head trying to come back to your senses. "Who is fighting over me?" You blurted out.

"Moonbin made the first punch but he punched back!" Heejin shook your shoulders and made you come with her. "Can you believe it?" She spoke yet again, dragging you down the hallway, your friends were right behind you.

"Who is the other guy?!" You refused to keep walking before they told you.

"Jungkook, obviously! He punched back!" They almost laughed in disbelief.

Jungkook. He was defending himself against Moonbin. The thought sent shivers down your spine. Moonbin was a self proclaimed professional in bathroom fighting. He'd fight anyone for any reason he could think of, just for the fun of it. He didn't leave Jungkook alone when you told him, in fact, it probably provoked him even more that you stood up against him a few days back.

The girls pulled you around the corner and into the mens bathroom. Moonbin had Jungkook by his collar, his nose was bleeding and there was blood on his blue shirt. He didn't look scared though. He looked completely and utterly numb. Moonbin turned around to see you in the doorway, and his face was pretty bruised up too considering the punch had only been thrown minutes ago.

"Moonbin, please stop!" You nearly screamed, choking on a sob. It only infuriated him more and he threw a gut punch at Jungkook. He winced in pain, and you let out a squeal as you could feel it slightly in your own stomach. The pain.

Taehyung came up behind you and you turned to him. "Please, for the love of god, stop them. For me." The tears were running down your face already, and he´d do anything for you if you asked. Taehyung rushed over and separated the two, and a few others who were watching helped hold Moonbin back. You followed close behind, and watched Jungkook slide down against the wall.

"Make them leave, please." You pleaded with Taehyung, and he obliged. He told everyone to get out as you fell to the floor next to Jungkook. You placed your hand on the cut on his lip and wiped the blood off.

"I´m so sorry. So god damn sorry." You sobbed uncontrollably at this point, and he was the one to comfort you when he was the one who was hurt. "Stop apologising." He held you this time.

"I keep making things worse for you. I act like some kind of saviour when I do the exact opposite." His gaze softens.

"It's worth it to me." He says, running his hands through your hair.

"You're worth it to me." You barely hear him saying it, but it's loud enough for you to hear. A soft, pained whisper.

"I think you're the best thing that ever happened to me." You reply.

5 days left

Jungkook was seated on the ottoman, his face covered in band aids and strips. You were twirling around outside the dressing room in a white summery maxi dress. "What about this one?" You question, doing an extra twirl.

"It's nice." He shrugs, letting his eyes wander down your body starting from the top. How the dress hugged you in the completely right places. Your hips and waist looked amazing, and he so badly wanted to touch you. Without the dress if he could, but he'd be more than satisfied with it on.

Your expression saddened as your mouth formed a frown. "Okay, should I be completely honest?" He asked seriously.

"Should I be scared?" You laughed. "Go ahead."

"I think it's beautiful. It's perfect. You're perfect." He said sheepishly. He meant it although he hesitated. You were so perfect. Jungkook hadn't been to the Louvre ever before, but he was sure that a painting of you would attract more attention than the Mona Lisa ever could.

He was sure people would travel from every corner of the world to see your face, even in a painting. Everyone who were lucky enough in person should be thanking the universe for blessing them with the opportunity.

"Really?" You beamed, heart pounding. "Is it okay for graduation?" You look down at yourself hesitantly, the cleavage of the dress maybe dipping down a bit too low.

"More than okay."

The sales assistant came to check up on you and her eyes lit up when she saw you in the dress. "It's gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. I think you need this."

"Honestly, I do too after such positive feedback." You giggled lightly. "Can you take his measurements and pick out a suit for him as well please?" You point at Jungkook seated on the green velour ottoman.

"Me?" He was flustered and looked you dead in the eyes.

"Yes, you silly." You smiled softly.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He desperately pleaded with you with his eyes and pulled you aside.

"Y/N I can't afford this. I don´t know if you think that I have more money than I do but I seriously have to scrape together money for a new hoodie from H&M."

"No, god. I´m not making you pay when I dragged you all the way over here. Consider it a graduation gift. If not, salary for being my personal shopping assistant." You nudged his shoulder playfully.

"Look, I´ll wear some black pants that sort of look like suit pants and the school uniform shirt. I can't let you do this." He almost pushed you against the wall as he grasped both your shoulders. Unbothered, you pushed his hands off you.

"Can´t let my date wear something simple as that to graduation. My grandparents are gonna frame the pictures of me and you're gonna be in them. I want you to feel confident that day. You deserve it." You pull him in for a hug.

You walked back to the sales assistant. "Will you take him to get his measurements?" She nodded, and now it was your turn to sit on the ottoman. He ended up trying on a few suits, and you landed on one that the both of you really liked. You could see him sweat when looking at the price tag but you reassured him with your soft smile.

"Get changed and we'll go pay." He agreed and disappeared behind the curtain. You fiddled with your phone for a while before going to browse the store. Understandingly, a suit that was so perfect for his figure would take a while to get out off, but you went to check on him.

Between the crack of the curtain and the wall you saw him. His upper body undressed as he touched a wound. His whole back covered in purple, red and dark bruises. You had watched enough medical shows to know that they weren't from yesterday. He had more scars and bruises visible than skin.

He saw you in the mirror and turned around. He looked scared to death. Like you were gonna hurt him as well. "Y/N, what the fuck?" You stood frozen. You were scared too. All your suspicions confirmed. Sometimes, late at night, you'd comfort yourself thinking that you were overreacting.

He threw on his sweater and pushed you to get past. You almost stumbled. Before you knew it, you saw him outside the store window, nearly running to get away. Get away from you and your invasive self. He had hung his suit up carefully, and defeatedly you took it with you to the counter where your dress was laying.

"Can you get the suit delivered? I did something stupid and he's not gonna accept it if I turn up on his doorstep." The cashier understandingly nodded. You took your phone out as you waited for the cashier to finish adding up your total and bagging it up.

Y/N 3:12 pm

I´m so sorry I keep saying sorry but I really do mean it. I'm not gonna bring it up, ever. If you wanna talk I'm here but I´ll keep my mouth shut till you tell me to open it up. Please don´t close down on me.

"Excuse me, miss?" The cashier waved his hand as you had zoned out completely. "Sorry. Your total will be one point four million won." the cashier pointed to the terminal. (About a 1000 USD) "Delivery fees included." You swiped your card and he handed you a beautiful bag with gold writing.

Parts of you wishes that the suit was in the bag and Jungkook was walking nervously next to you.

You had to give him space.

3 days left

All of Sunday had passed without any replies from Jungkook. Your dad dropped you off outside school that morning. You weren't sure if Jungkook would be at school today, but you were dressed up pretty just in case. A pretty frilled blouse only for special occasions.

Like the gods had answered your prayers, you saw him. You met his eyes and he walked over to you. "Y/N-ah, I forgive you. I don't have time for anything else, I´m sorry."

"Time? What do you mean?"

"My aunt called yesterday. She needs help at her restaurant in Busan and asked me if I wanted a summer job and to move in earlier." He was studying your face to see your reaction.

"Jungkook-ah, no..." You whined.

"You of all people should know why I want to leave. Especially after what you saw." He tried to reason with you.

You threw your arms around him in the busy school hallway. "I know." You whispered. "It's okay."

"I just wished we had more time." You smiled bittersweetly as he pulled away. He wanted nothing more. He wanted nothing more than to stay with you forever.

"I got the suit." He changed the subject.

"Are you mad?" You gave him your best puppy eyes.

"Why would I be mad about a great graduation gift?" He laughed wholeheartedly, and his laugh filled your heart with warmth and gave you butterflies. He was making you all jittery.

Why?

2 days left

"Pour me another shot Jungkook-ah!" You held your shot glass in front of him as he smiled at you, pouring soju into your glass. You swung your arms around, singing to the music playing at the restaurant.

"Slow down." He said as he called for the waitress to take the soju away. "That's all for tonight, alright?" He patted your head. You liked the confidence boost the alcohol had given him. How he so openly flirted with you, and it satisfied some deep rooted needs of yours.

He paid for the drinks which you didn't notice in your state. "Let's walk home to sober up. We have school tomorrow."

"I think it's sad that we won't go to school together. We were totally acting like college students today and it was so fun. Drinking on a school night feels crazyyy..." You slurred and he pulled you closer as you almost stumbled over your own feet.

"Yeah, it is sad."

The rest of the walk was silent. Stopping outside your house, you felt a few raindrops hit your cheeks and head. Jungkook cursed under his breath. He had a forty minute walk home. "Do you have an umbrella I could borrow by any chance?" He asked shyly, retorting back to his humble, sober self for a second.

"No. Don´t wanna." You crossed your arms. "My parents are away for their anniversary. Won't be home until graduation." Tugging at his denim jacket sleeve, signalising for him to come inside.

"I shouldn't. I should go home." He refused.

"Sure, you should go home, but do you want to go home?" He looked so gut-wrenchingly sexy underneath the street lights, hair ruffled and a tired look on his face. Shirt unbuttoned so you could see his golden tanned chest.

"No." He replied, and you pulled him inside by his sleeve. You took off your shoes and for a few seconds you just stood looking at each other. Something was in the air. Something you had never felt with Jungkook before. It wasn't comfortable anymore, it was electric.

You needed him so bad and you were about to throw yourself at him. He beat you to it, he grabbed you and pinned you up against the wall. Your lips crashed and you didn't have time to catch a breath. You let out a few desperate moans to catch your breath as you both stumbled down the hallway over to the staircase.

As you were making your way up the stairs, you fell on your butt down on one of the steps and he got on top of you. You chuckled between the desperate kisses as he lifted you up the stairs. He was stronger than you thought.

He went down the upstairs hallway with you in his arms and into your bedroom with an open door. He threw you on the bed and wasted no time in trying to take off your shirt. "Kook-ah, I need you so so bad." You whimpered in despair, rutting your hips forward.

"I´ll make it worth it." He smirked as he kissed you. While kissing you he started unbuttoning your pants and you helped him. You were all exposed to him and he was completely clothed. You looked each other in the eye and slowed down. He started with his jacket. He hesitated with the shirt.

"Can I?" You looked up at him. He nodded slowly. You gently took his t-shirt off, and he felt incredibly exposed with all his bruises on display. You only smiled as you placed kisses on his chest, trailing down his stomach.

He took his pants off on his own and you handed him a condom. He slowed down again and you raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, a thought popped into your head.

"Kook-ah... Are you like.. a virgin?" you ask innocently.

He nods slowly again. "Don't treat me any differently than you would with an experienced guy. Some guidance might be nice but-" He says, panicked. You interrupt him. "So you want this?" You take his hand and you embrace it with your own.

"I want this more than anything." He kissed you again.

"I´ll take care of you." You bit the wrapper open and he put the pieces together as to how you're supposed to put it on.

"Aren't you supposed to do some sort of foreplay before?" He questioned awkwardly.

"It´s usually for the girls´ sake. I don't need that. I need you inside of me." You moaned, leading his body closer to yours. He let his hands slide up the side of your waist before carefully going inside you.

"Okay, do what you want with me." You smirk slyly as you whisper. "I'm yours."

"I know. And I will." He thrusts harder into you and your moans come out in unison. Tears start running down your cheeks and he checks up on you by stopping.

"Please don't stop." You cry out, placing your hands on his back. "Please."

He obliges and doesn´t stop until both your bodies give out. You fall asleep like that, bodies close and sweaty.

1 day left

This wasn't what you two planned at all. You both were pacing around your bedroom, refusing to met each others eyes. The alcohol had clearly gotten to you two yesterday and you the air was different. It wasn't comfortable like usual, or electric last night. It was uncomfortable. You felt like you shouldn't have let him yesterday. You wanted him to lose his virginity with someone he was in love with, not a friend he's been close to for 2 weeks at most.

Jungkook didn´t regret losing his virginity to you, not all. You were careful and tender, but you didn't treat him any differently like he asked you not to do. He was ashamed because he thought you would regret it. That he took advantage of you in your drunken state, and that you wouldn't touch him like that sober.

You threw yourself down on the bed and let out an exasperated sigh. He looked to you and it felt like he was almost choking on his own heartbeats.

"Do you regret sleeping with me?" He asked gently with a sullen tone, sitting down on the bed next to you. You sat up startled when you had processed what he said through your throbbing headache.

"What? No no no..." You cupped his face in your hands and stroked his cheek with your thumb. "I don't regret anything about last night, Kook-ah." You looked distraught, like you really meant it, like you were shocked by what he had said.

"Good. Cause I don't either." He placed his hand on yours. Jungkook took the hand you had placed on his face and placed it on his knee. He drew circles on your palms and made little hearts.

"Whatever this is.. Whatever we're doing right now; I don't want it to end." You smiled teary-eyed. He was leaving you and you didn't know what to do.

Jungkook wasn´t great with this kind of stuff. The touching, the loving and the expressions of love. All he did was nod quietly, and you knew by the look in his eyes that he felt the same.

You didn't know how to identify the feelings you felt for Jungkook. Throughout you've had boyfriends and best friends but none of them made you feel what you were feeling right now. Here, with him.

You had slept with a few guys before, and you've also slept with a best friend before. Taehyung, less than a year back. That felt weird, but not weird in the way Jungkook made you feel.

Not weird in a bad way.

"Y/N... I have to go. My dad´s at a meeting with the department of labor for a few hours and the moving trucks are coming in the meantime." He grimaced, wanting you to understand why he was leaving you high and dry at 6 am like this.

"Aren't you coming to school today?"

"No, I need to do this now or else I don't know how I´ll get out without him finding out." He put on his denim jacket and kissed you on the cheek. "I´ll see you tomorrow."

"If you're moving your stuff out today, where are you staying tonight?" You get up from the bed and you place yourself in front of him.

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"Stay here." You propose, smiling warmly.

God, he loved that smile. He loved you.

That morning, after he left you with your own thoughts again, you walk to school with a skip in your step. Taehyung greets you by the entrance and asks you why you're so smiley and weird today. You tell him that it's just one of those days.

He knows why you're smiling and he hates it. It's because of him. Taehyung can do nothing but observe as you make it so clear to him that you are not his and he is not yours.

You spend the rest of the school day thinking. You had lunch in the cafeteria with your friends and spent most of the time chatting with Taehyung about trivial stuff. University, summer and graduation. He was also staying in Seoul for school and was attending SNU law. You were impressed, not knowing that Taehyung had been able to get his grades up to study law.

"My parents wanted to send me to Harvard but contrary to popular opinion, I think it sounds overrated. I like the idea of being a student in Seoul." Taehyung explained, making you nod your head in agreement.

"I get that. There's just something about Seoul." He smiled as he stole a spoonful of your seaweed soup.

"Hey!" You ruffled his hair, knowing he had spent all morning doing it as revenge. He flung a spoonful of rice at your face and you laughed almost hysterically as you managed to inhale a grain of rice.

After a while you're laughing calmed down and your friends had stopped giving you two a weird look. "Do you have an apartment yet or are you commuting back and forth from your house?" He inquires, stirring his food around as fidgeting.

"I was thinking of moving out but I just can't find the right apartment. There's an open house next week that I want to go to." You explain, and he nods along.

"Is Jungkook coming with you?" He asks, now fiddling with his own thumbs.

"Uh.. no." He looks up at you. "He's moving to Busan tomorrow." You elaborate, and a look of pity flashes across his face.

"Oh."

"Yeah..." Taehyung smiled awkwardly. "So I'm gonna have to go all alone." You were insinuating that he should come with.

"I´ll go with you." He suggests. "If you want me to."

You nod.

It was starting to get dark out when you were seated in your windowsill with the window open. The window from your room had direct view down to the street and your frontyard. As promised, he was there, outside your door, waving up at you.

The day of

Jungkook was trying to curl your hair. After a few burns and a little cursing, he was starting to get the hang of it. You were sitting in front of the vanity with him standing behind you and while he was curling your hair, you were doing your makeup. The two of you were both in bathrobes, your outfits laying neatly on your bed.

"This stuff is hard. I'm sweating in fear of burning myself again." He snickers, and you laugh along.

"I´ll blow on your burns when you're done." You smiled at him in the mirror and you saw his reflection blushing slightly. "When is your train leaving tonight?"

"I'm taking the KTX train around 8 pm so I´ll be in Busan before midnight." He announces, and you feel realisation creeping up on you. Sure, the train ride isn't that long with the speed trains, but he's still far away and you're both gonna be busy. Your parents booked you a graduation trip to Greece with them and then you´re flying straight to Aiya Napa with a few friends, including Taehyung.

"Okay." Is all you manage to utter with a sigh at the end.

"You'll come with me to the train station, right?" He questions.

"Of course." You smile.

He finishes curling your hair and you add the finishing touches to your makeup. "All done." Jungkook grins proudly.

"It´s really pretty, thank you." You shake out the curls to see them properly and run your fingers carefully through them to loosen them up.

"I´m gonna go change." He said, gesturing towards your bathroom.

"Okay, let me do your hair when you're done please!" You request, giving him the puppy eyes that you give everyone when you want something your way.

"Maybe." Jungkook shuts the door behind him.

A few minutes later he came back out, all dressed up. Except the tie that he was holding in his hand. "I can't tie a tie." He admitted ashamedly, letting a slight chuckle escape his lips.

You turn around to see him and you're stunned. He looked great in the white lights in the store dressing rooms, but in this light, he looked gorgeous. The morning summer sun shining in through your window, hitting Jungkook like a spotlight.

Getting up from your chair and walking over to him, your heart was pounding a hundred beats a second. You couldn't shake the weird unidentifiable feeling that you felt when you were close to him. You swung the tie around his neck and tied it tight, but not too tight.

"I´ll send you a video tutorial if you want to know later, but we're gonna run late if we don't hurry up." You smile, patting his shoulder., signaling that you´re all done.

You point your finger to the chair in front of the vanity and he sits down. "Let's see. Hand me your gel." Running your fingers through his hair, he closes his eyes in pleasure.

"It's really nice when you touch my hair." He hums in delight.

You alternate using the comb and your hands and soon you finish up. "You like?" You ask with a satisfied grin on your face.

"I love." He almost blurts out a "you." at the end but he manages to hold it in.

"Now I need to put my dress on." You let your bathrobe fall to the floor, now standing there in your white lace underwear. Jungkook rapidly turns away from you and you laugh.

"After what we've done you really don't need to turn around." You smirk confidently, knowing you're gonna make him flustered. He turns back around, almost shamelessly to watch you.

You slip into the dress and you struggle with the zipper in the back. He notices your struggle and gets up to help you. "Let me." He offers and you would never say no.

He turns you around so he's facing your bare back. He can't help but let his hands caress your back for a while, up and down, back and forth. Seductively, he pulls the zipper up slowly and you can feel his fingers brush up your back as the dress tightens.

Getting ready to leave, Jungkook grabs his little backpack of necessities since all his things are on their way to Busan. After you've celebrated for a while you'll follow him to the train station to say your goodbyes.

Your parents drive you to the ceremony and you both hurried over to get your cap and gowns. The ceremony went nicely, and both you and Jungkook stood posing in your parents photos with your diplomas in hand.

"Kiss her on the cheek Jungkook-ssi!" Your mom laughed and you looked to Jungkook who was looking at your dad with a frightened look on his face.

He placed a soft kiss on your cheek as your dad jokingly shook his head. "What a pretty picture." She fawned when she looked at her camera. "Jinho, come see." Your mother gestured at your father and his lips curled slightly upwards before he pulled himself together.

The whole moment felt bittersweet and went by like you were thinking back on a blurry memory. Giggles, smiles, hugs and joy were the most prominent things in the blur that you felt.

You and Jungkook collected a few of the people who hadn't left school yet and invited them out for drinks. You purposely picked people who you weren't close with, except for Taehyung.

You invited Jisoo, the girl from your math class, a boy you knew from Forensics club and a few others you hadn't spent that much time with. Stumbling down the street to a nearby restaurant, you meet many other classmates. You get situated at a table and you share embarrassing memories from high school.

"Jisoo, do you remember when you got that love letter from Sungkwan and you went around telling-" One of the guys at your table started before Jisoo interrupted.

"Stop! I've never been so embarrassed in my life!" She laughed as she reached across the table to give him a little smack on the cheek. You look over to Jungkook who's staring out into the air, ignoring the constant calls from his father.

You take his hand under the table and you stroke his knuckles with your thumb. His shoulders fall down a little from their tense position when you touch him.

The weird feeling gets you again.

You know that Jungkook doesn't share as many fond memories from school as the rest of you around the table do, but you try your best to include him in the conversations when you can.

"Can we go outside?" Jungkook requests. "I have a memory I want to share." You look at him with a questioning look but you oblige and follow him outside.

You're standing outside the restaurant, feeling the summer breeze blow through your hair and your dress billowed to the point where it looked like a fairytale gown.

He gulps. He has always thought you were the prettiest girl in the world, but standing in front of him now, you looked angelic. He silently thanked the universe with blessing him with your presence. That he had gotten the opportunity to touch you and to feel you like he had.

"Y/N. I want to share a fond memory of mine that involved you, many years back." He spoke so formally you almost laughed at him, but you controlled yourself and nodded along. "The year I turned eleven, I invited the whole class to my birthday party. I paced around the floor as the clock ticked past six and no one had showed." He pauses and looks at you.

"I had given up all hope that anyone was gonna show, until you knocked on the door with a birthday card. You were the only person that showed that night and I've never forgotten about it." He sighed and his chest heaved for air.

"I hope you don't think it's weird but I keep the card on my nightstand." He admits ashamedly.

You don´t say anything, you just pull him in for a hug. The two of you stay like that for a while before you go back inside. It's seven pm when you go back inside and your heart feels heavy when you see the time on your phone.

The conversation goes on but you're so deep in your thought that you don't participate. It's hitting you real hard. Jungkook nudges you and shows you his phone with a bus schedule on it. It leaves from the bus stop outside the restaurant in eight minutes. You start saying your goodbyes to everyone at your table before you walk outside.

It´s silent as you're waiting for the bus, silent when you're sitting on the bus to the train station and it's silent when you get off.

"Platform seventeen..." He mumbles to himself and points you both to the right. You could see the sign with the little seventeen on it from afar but you so desperately want to point him in the other direction. Make him miss the train so he has some extra time to think about leaving.

a/n: so sorry for interrupting but if u want u can read the next part listening to the song I listened to while writing (taking pictures of you - the kooks)

He grabs your wrist and leads the way when you hesitate. Platform seventeen is right in front of you now, and the train is already there. He's looking you straight in the eyes, dressed in a suit and hair done all neatly you swore you could pass out.

You knew it was over although it never really started. All you did was spend fourteen days together, moving extremely quickly forward from strangers to being in bed together. You liked those fourteen days, you loved those fourteen days and you hated those fourteen days.

"I have to go." His lips quivered and your eyes stung with tears prickling in your eyes. There came the weird feeling again. This time, it didn't creep up on you, it hit you like a wave hits you at the beach, the type that makes you lose your balance and swallow a whole lot of water, struggling to get a breath of air. The feeling was unfamiliar to you and it felt uncomfortable.

"I really liked these fourteen days." You smiled genuinely through your tears. He pulled you in for another hug, less stiff than the ones before. It felt good to hug him, to get that last inhale of his cologne and the scent of his shampoo.

"Me too. I loved them." He spoke into your hair as he took in your scent for the last time in a while as well. "Visit me, please Y/N."

"Of course. I´ll come toward the end of the summer." You pulled away from the embrace to look him in the eyes. Before you knew it, you were kissing. The conductor yelled out that the train was leaving and he was the one to pull away this time. You took his hand and as he walked away his hand slipped away from yours.

He stepped on the train and you saw him through the window, never losing eye contact. You stood still on the platform as you were reduced to tears. The dark mascara that was running down your cheeks were the perfect contrast to the gorgeous white dress you were wearing. His denim jacket draped over your shoulders and your strappy baby pink heels in your left hand.

You were straight out of a movie.

As the train started moving, the feeling grew stronger as it finally hit you. You knew what you were feeling, and you had been denying it for too long.

It was love.

You were in love with Jeon Jungkook and he was leaving.

a/n: honestly that's the end but if u want to read a sneak peek of part 2 then scroll down a little!! join the taglist here if u want to be tagged in part 2.

The Epilogue

Day 1140

It was late at night and your friends had dragged you out of your apartment to go to some stupid club that had just opened in Gangnam. You weren't friends with any of your old friends anymore, just Taehyung.

You and Taehyung could be considered more than friends but less than lovers. It was complicated and not exclusive so you thought that you might as well find someone to spend the night with. He was sleeping with other women, so you felt like you should as well.

The music was blasting way too loud from the speakers and it was awfully crowded on the dance floor. You finally made your way to the ambient bar that was on the quieter side. Club standard quiet, of course. You ordered a gin and tonic to loosen up and have some fun.

The first year of university, you spent everyday partying and bringing new guys back to the apartment you shared with your best friend Hayoon. She eventually grew tired of it and so did you. You spent the second year dating, meeting new guys from Tinder or agreeing to blind dates that Hayoon arranged, and that didn't work out either.

By the time you started your third year you settled down with being Taehyung´s something. Sometimes, your mind would drift back to what you felt for Jungkook. You hadn't seen him in 3 years and you never visited him in Busan, but what you felt when you stood on platform seventeen is a feeling you'll never forget.

You cancelled your visit to Busan in the summer and promised to visit for fall break. By the time fall break came around, he wasn't picking up your calls. You kept calling for a few weeks and in anger and spite you blocked his number and never reached out again.

You asked the bartender for a straw just so you could stir the ice cubes around. Boredom washed over you after a while, so you moved seats to sit closer to the one window that wasn't shaded black. You saw the busy streets, girls with wobbly knees and high heels who held on to their boyfriends for support.

You were scouting the streets for something interesting to let your tired eyes focus on. Just like fate, like it was written in the stars, he was there. Jungkook was there. Rubbing your eyes and closing them for a few seconds didn't make him go away. You got off the barstool and picked up your bag, ready to rush out into the street.

You didn't know what to say or how to approach him, but you had to do something. Maybe take his hand and lead him away, let him say the first sentence and really let his voice soak in. Let his words surround you and his hands touch you.

You walked as fast as you could out the door in your own high heels. You were like those couples, he was missing the girl in high heels and you were missing the boy to support yourself on. You stood frozen on the sidewalk as he stood across the road from you. A girl leapt into his arms, dark raven curls bouncing as he caught her and pulled her in for a warm embrace.

Only now did you take your time to process how Jungkook looked. He was buff and muscular with a tattoo sleeve. Only in a t-shirt at night, his arms were free from any bruising. You were smiling like an idiot until you snapped back to reality and realised that he was holding someone else.

She kissed him,

and he kissed her.

fin.

(for now)

part 2 taglist

#jungkook ff #jungkook angst #bts scenarios #jungkook #bts #jeongguk ff #bts angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook drabble #jeonfilesff #jeonfilesjjk #bts ff #bts imagines #kpop #kpop ff #bts jk #jeonfiles

[hellbornsworld]

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS(4)๑‿︵‿୨

.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ .⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹༺⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺ ع˖⁺

✿ When She Loved Me | CEO!JK X Reader | One-Shot | @jungkookstatts

✿ Sleepaway | Yandere!JK X Reader | Series | @flowesona

✿ Mine | Jungkook x Demon! Female Reader | One-shot | @playmetheclassics

✿ Your eyes tell | Yandere!JK X Reader | Twins AU | @angellgguk

✿ Noir | Daddy!JK x Little!Reader | @bonny-kookoo

✿ Love Is a Game: For Political Enemies | JK X Reader | @lleldey

✿ petals with luv | Emporer!Jungkook x PalaceWoman!Reader | Hanahaki AU | @hisunshiine

✿ a lover’s bond | jungkook x female reader | greek mythology! AU | @latetaektalk

✿ love in the dark | Ceo!JK X Reader | One-Shot | @spideyjimin

✿ Like I’m Famous | Idol!JK X Reader | One-Shot | long distance au | @softyoongiionly

✿ I’ll Be Home for Christmas | Pilot Jungkook x female OC | One-Shot | @bluewhale52

✿ Falling | jungkook x female reader | Soulmate AU | @starshapedkookie

✿ Pick Your Fighter | gamer!jk X gamer!reader | @jikookiekosmos

✿ angels like you | Jungkook X Reader | S2L | One-Shot | @aquagustd

✿ Killing me softly with his touch | JK X Reader | One-Shot | @borathae

✿ Bad Man | Badboy!JK X Reader | @bonny-kookoo

✿ The Monster in the Dark | yandere!sleep paralysisdemon!jjk X fem!Reader | One-Shot | @themochiverse

✿ S O U L M A T E S | Crackhead!Jk X Reader | Series | @smaubts

✿ bad romance | badboy!jungkook x goodgirl!reader | One-Shot | @noteguk

✿ No Guardian Angel | The Crow!Jungkook X Reader | @jiminstonic

✿ Love Letters | Prince!Jungkook × Maid!Reader | @bonny-kookoo

✿ LESSON I | YandereTeacher!jungkook x bully student fem!reader | Three-Shot | @redsaurrce

✿ RED | demon!jk x fem!reader | Series | @armpirate

✿ Follow the White Rabbit | idol! jungkook x idol! reader | @youthguk

✿ Ｎｕｍｂ ｔｏ Ｔｈｅ Ｆｅｅｌｉｎｇ | Dark! Shitty! Yandere! Jeon Jungkook x Fem!Reader | One-Shot | @pynkgothicka

✿ Delivery Date | pizzadeliveryboy!jungkook x reader | One-Shot | @dntaewithluv

✿ Who is in control? | jk x reader | Drabble AU | @ctrlsht

✿ sweetest apparition | nerd!jungkook x popular!female reader | @jeonfiles

✿ m y s t r a n g e a d d i c t i o n | professor!jk X student!Reader | One-Shot | @joonberriess

✿ to err is to love | dilf!jk /ex husband!jk / ceo!jk x afab reader | Series | @jungkookschin

✿ polarity | BestFriendBF!JK X Reader | Series | @darkestcorners

✿ KILL TO KISS YOU | Yandere!Jungkook x Prostitute!Reader | One-Shot | @chummywchimmy

✿ Ode To The Nature Of Romance | Jungkook x Reader | @yeoldontknow

✿ Cabin in The Woods | Werewolf!Jungkook x Human!Reader | One-Shot | @girl8890

✿ Nothing was gonna stop me | Jeon Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot | @wildestdreamsblog

✿ Teacher’s Pet | professor/dilf!jungkook x student!reader | Series | @axigailxo

✿ prima nocta | king!jungkook, virgin!reader | royalty au | One-Shot | @yoon2k

✿ End of Time | Jungkook x Reader | Series | @deepdarkdelights

✿ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 | Yandere!JK X Reader | @euphoricfilter

✿ Paint | painter!jungkookxassistant!reader | @hongjoongscafe

✿ 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 & 𝑷𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒔 | environmentalist! jungkook x college student! reader | @miraclesatnightfall

✿ The Broken Vow | Husband!JK X Reader | One-Shot | @lleldey

✿ Euphoria | bad boy jungkook x librarian yn | @btsydtrash

✿ White Pearl | CEO Sugar daddy Jungkook x stripper sugar baby reader | @lovelyspring7

✿ just a little bit of your heart | JK X Reader | @chemicalpink

✿ imminent danger | jungkook x reader | @whatifyoulivelikethat

✿ Knockout | boxer!dad!jungkook x pregnant!reader | Drabble | @jvngkook97

✿ Please Love Me! | Frat President Jungkook x Succubus Reader | @icedmatchatae

✿ The Boyfriend Experience | Escort!Jungkook x Fem!Reader | @shina913

.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺ ☁⋆ ୭ .⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹༺⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺

OTHER POSTS:

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(1)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(2)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS(3)

ALL BTS MEMBERS WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(1)

BTS X READER WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(2)

#bangtan #bts imagine #namjoon #jungkook x reader #bts ff #jungkook fic #bts #bts masterlist #bts jimin #jimin #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongguk #taehyung #jungkook fanart #jk fanfic #jk fanart #jungkook recs #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fake texts #bts army #bts jungkook #bts icons #bangtan sonyeondan #seokjin #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts fanart #bts fantasy au #bts fancafe

[moonchild1]

kim taehyung fic rec list (Ⅳ)

hello everyone i know it's been a while since i posted, work has been hectic, but i got some time and managed to finish a list so please enjoy... here's my all time favourite taehyung fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, leave a heart, reblog or even leave a message or feedback under their posts i know they would appreciate hearing from you, some of these fics contain smut so no minors allowed ♡ feel free to recommend me some fics or just share what your reading right now i'd love hearing from you

a- angst s- smut f- fluff

series

hush, yeah by @kithtaehyung s a (brother's best friend)

zaddy by @btssmutgalore f s a (sugar daddy)

i'm not yours by @amourtae f s a (college au childhood friends to lovers strangers to lovers idiots to lovers)

(re)starting over again by @httpknjoon f a (established relationship amnesia)

once more to see you by @jeonfiles f a (unrequited love au)

vacancy by @ppersonna s a (idol au)

the key to my drawer by @jjungkookislife s a (best friends to lovers)

a matter of shyness by @jjungkookislife s a (college au)

broken bottles by @xpeachesncream f s a (strangers to lovers bad boy)

only you by @blue-jade s a (college au unrequited love fuck boy slow burn)

ruin you by @taegularities f s a (established relationship fwb) ft. Jungkook

hell is empty by @aquagustd f s a (love triangle) ft. Jungkook

charade by @ughcore s (fake dating roommate au)

one-shot

red vs blue by @kth1 s (established relationship)

the sheets by @kth1 s (friends with benefits idol au)

let's try again by @kth1 s (married au pregnancy au)

ruined by @taegularities f s a (strangers to lovers)

tales of broken hearts by @taegularities f s a (strangers to lovers)

all mine by @amourtae f s (established relationship)

overdue by @amourtae f s (college au strangers to lovers)

extracurricular by @ppersonna s (professor au)

holding you like this by @jimilter s a (exes to lovers)

mine to claim by @jimilter f s a (werewolf au idiots to lovers friends with benefits)

duty free by @joyfulhopelox s (strangers to lovers)

ten out of ten by @kookdiaries s (college au frat boy enemies to lovers)

morning cuddles and a raging boner by @borathae f s (established relationship domestic au)

beast by @spideyjimin f s a (established relationship au)

freefall by @jtrbluv f s (frat boy au college au)

rain on me by @sugakookitty f s (stripper au) ft. Jungkook

apartment 512 by @seokjinish f s (enemies to lovers neighbours au)

teardrops on my guitar by @playmetheclassics f s a (unrequited love college au)

almost sweet by @sugalaritae f s (established relationship)

heartbreak hotel by @myooniverse f a (strangers to lovers)

first light by @evafrechette s (dilf tae)

day by day by @hueseok f s (strangers to lovers)

head over feels by @missgeniality f s a (established relationship

ain't no sunshine by @whimsical-ness f s a (based on the movie notting hill)

tripping on skies, sipping waterfalls by @bangtae-sohotddaeng/ @jimilter s a (college au established relationship)

helping hands by @snackhobi f s (friends to lovers)

of lace and lust by @hobidreams f s a (roommate au college au childhood friends to lovers)

champagne popsicle by @gguksgalaxy f s (strangers to lovers)

daisy by @chateautae f s a (rivals au fuckbuddies young parents au)

all that glitters by @jamaisjoons f s a (sugar daddy au)

fake love by @mygsii f s a (arranged marriage au)

joyride by @sunshinerainbowsbts s (strangers to lovers college au threesome au) ft. Jungkook

marshmallows and report cards by @untaemedqueen f s (strangers to lovers single dad au teacher au)

might as well by @jeonqkooks f s (established relationship)

↬looking for other kth fics or the other members check out my library for more

#kiki's recs #kiki!fic!rec #taehyung #kim taehyung #kim taehyung fanfic #taehyung fanfiction #bts fanfction #taehyung:series #taehyung:oneshot #taehyung:smut #taehyung:angst #taehyung:fluff #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung x reader #taehyung series #taehyung oneshot #taehyung drabble #kim taehyung x reader #favourites!kth

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 5 (TEASER)

RELEASE DATE: January 22nd, 2022. 12PM EST.

on faes (my) birthday!!

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: implied sexual themes, emotional breakdown, taehyung is too much of a gentleman and may have you swooning, anxiety, a little bit of yelling… angst is beginning to settle in…

→ word count: 12.8k (full fic)

…

With a newfound confidence, you reach for the handle and open the door.

And suddenly you’re frozen, suitcase in hand.

Hazy, red-rimmed watery brown eyes are staring back at you, a shaking fist elevated as if he was going to knock on your door at any given moment. Taehyung is wearing the suit that he wore last night, his hair mussed up as he studies your concerned expression.

Did he… Did he not leave last night?

“Taehyung, what are you-“

“Don’t go.”

Your eyes skim up, glancing into his. They’re wide, you notice… almost desperate. The more you stare, the more you realize just how red they are, shaking with the quivering of his lips. You swear you can hear your heart breaking…

…

tag list:

please send in an ask or comment below if you would like to be added to the tag list !!

@lavienvante @moonchild1 @procrastination-queenie @hobipaint @jeonfiles @surilirani (couldn’t tag) @dopedreamfireparty @blairtann @getmemyfries (couldn’t tag) @unicornbabylover @deliciousdetectivestranger @luckyzipperscissorsbat @amourtae

please update me if you are unable to be tagged!!

also, if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you!

#kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #kth fics #kth fic #kth angst #kth smut #kth fluff #bts x reader #bts fanfics #bts fanfic writer #fic: it’s definitely you

[jeonfiles]

hi guys i just checked my wc and apparently ive hit 12k on sweetest apparition pt 2😭 i dont want it to be too long but theres a lot left to write abt so do u think i should do a third part or just make a long pt 2

#jeonfiles #jungkook ff

[jeonfiles]

Found out there's supposed to be a pt 2 for sweetest apparition for a couple months ago, first part was soook good and so emotional! Wya??

don't get ur hopes up but im working on it rn...

#anon ask #jeonfiles

[jeonfiles]

publishing sweetest apparition tmrw!!

if everything goes according to my plans for tomorrow, sweetest apparition (part 1???) will be released tomorrow evening. i live in europe so 9 pm at the latest in european time and 3 pm at the earliest!!

#jungkook ff #jungkook x reader #jeonfiles #jeonfilesff #jeonfilesjjk

[moonchild1]

 jeon jungkook fic rec list (Ⅳ)

here's a list of my favourite jungkook fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, no minors allowed ♡ feel free to recommend me some fics too I'd love to find new authors, blogs and read fics you guys are into who knows maybe I'm missing out on some great fics 😉🖤

a- angst s- smut f- fluff

series

fuckboy training by @helenazbmrskai f s a (fuckboy au boxing au frenemies to lovers au)

gold rush by @venusiangguk s (established relationship au)

the art of craving by @venusiangguk f s (friends with benefits au dilf jk au)

the art of waiting by @venusiangguk f s (dilf jk au friends with benefits au)

the art of doubting by @venusiangguk f s a (dilf jk au friends with benefits au)

the art of caring by @venusiangguk f s (dilf jk au friends with benefits au)

his name by @jimlingss f a (based on the kdrama kill me heal me)

ghost in my bed by @yeojaa f s a (rockstar au exes to lovers au)

euphoria by @lovelytaes-blog f s (married couple drabbles slice of life)

tidal wave by @jjungkookislife s (coworkers to friends to lovers)

tidal wave: after wave by @jjungkookislife f s 

airplane, pt. 2 by @xjoonchildx​ s (crime au)

cream & sugar by @gukslut​ s (enemies to lovers au)

paradise by @minisugakoobies s (stripper au neighbours to lovers au)

for science by @boymeetsweevil f s a (nerd jk best friends to lovers au college au)

wanted by @hobiboo1 s (love triangle) ft. Hoseok

true care by @joonsgalaxy s a (bodyguard au)

fight for you by @ahundredtimesover s a (bodyguard au)

effortlessly by @gyukult f s a (friends to lovers au school au)

pretty boy by @angelguk f s a (drabble series jock jk best friends to lovers au)

card swiped by @1kook f s a (best friends to lovers idiots to lovers au college au)

blackjack by @kpopfanfictrash s (mafia au)

i don't mind by @bratkook f s a (band au strangers to lovers au rockstar jk)

standing ovations and other nonsense by @vyduan​ f s a (idiots to lovers au)

Popular-ish by @hansolmates f s a (friends with benefits to lovers popular jk shy oc)

New Beginnings by @breakiebunny f s (dilf jk established relationship domestic au)

mutual help by @personasintro f s a (fake dating au slow burn)

↬ mutual help chapters are updated on wattpad

one-shot

the habits of a broken heart by @softykooky f a (soulmate au unrequited love au enemies to lovers au)

constant craving by @rubycoast a (unrequited love au)

ode to the nature of romance by @yeoldontknow s

hotter, cooler, sweeter by @seokjinger-ale f s (established relationship)

tequila mockingbird by @kookdiaries f s a (acquaintances to lovers au)

rockstar 101 by @jeonjcngkook s (established relationship)

days to morning glory by @sketchguk​ f s a (exes to lovers au roommate au high school sweethearts)

a touch of fate by @yoonia​ s a (enemies to lovers au soulmate au)

when you’re mad by @joonscypher s (boyfriend jk) ft. Taehyung

roomie code by @bluekyun f s (roommate au)

scattered stars by @taegularities f s a (enemies to lovers au fantasy au soulmate au)

better left unsaid by @jeonfiles s a (unrequited love au break up au)

begin by @taegularities f s a (strangers to friends to lovers au fantasy au fallen angel au)

morning rush by @atdawnsuga s (college au exhibitionism)

the jeon twins by @krreader f a (college au twins au)

could've been us by @sparklingchim s (exes au single dad jk)

Cherish Me by @becomingb a

Special delivery by @dearseok s (infidelity delivery boy jk) ft. Husband Taehyung

Moonlight by @kookiestarlight f s a (single dad au strangers to lovers au)

hot in here by @eternally-writing s

yes sir by @peekaboongi s

↬looking for other jjk fics or the other members check out my library

#kiki!fic!rec #jungkook #jungkook:smut #jungkook:angst #jungkook:fluff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fic recs #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook #bts fanfiction #bts jungkook #bts fic rec #favourites!jjk

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || MASTERLIST

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: posted chapter by chapter! there will be future smut!

→ word count: 34.4k (thus far)

main story:

↳ chapter one

↳ chapter two

↳ chapter three

↳ chapter four

↳ chapter five

↳ chapter six (coming soon…)

drabbles:

↳ (coming soon…)

world building:

↳ moodboard

↳ taehyung inspo.

IDY tag list:

please send in an ask or comment below if you would like to be added to the tag list !!

@amourtae @blairtann @deliciousdetectivestranger @dopedreamfireparty @getmemyfries (cant tag) @hobipaint @invincibletaetae @jeonfiles @lavienvante @luckyzipperscissorsbat @moonchild1 @procrastination-queenie @rosie3018 @surilirani (cant tag) @unicornbabylover

please update me if you are unable to be tagged!

also, if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you 🤍

#fic: it’s definitely you #faes fanfics #taehyung #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #taehyung x oc #taehyung imagine #taehyung imagines #kim taehyung fic #taehyung fic #bts x reader #kthfics

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 4 (TEASER)

RELEASED: read here!

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: journalist!taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: oc has a really… really bad day, rude customers, swearing, degradation, near sexual assault, panic attack, anxiety attack, mention of major character death, description of plane crash (be aware), kissing, making out, brief tongue action, sexual content

→ word count: 512 (for the teaser)

….

Calling Kim Taehyung…

You bite your lip, the ringing on the line endless, as if it was mocking you and your will to be alive.

“This is Kim Taehyung, sorry I couldn’t get to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you.”

You try again.

Calling Kim Taehyung…

No answer.

Again.

Calling Kim Taehyung…

“Please pick up.” You whisper, face crumpling at your lack of luck. Taehyung had always been so quick to answer you, but the flashing red of your nightstand alarm clock is reminding you of what time it actually is: 3:00 AM.

“This is Kim Taehyung, sorry I couldn’t get to the phone—“

He’s probably sleeping, yet you ignore this possibility and attempt to reach him one more time, cutting off the last call and immediately pressing the call button again.

What if you’re actually dead? What if this is your life flashing before your eyes? What if—

A tired voice croaks across the line after just a few more rings. “Hello?”

“Taehyung?” You say, panicked and voice shaking— which is very obvious since his once tired voice is suddenly wide awake when he responds.

“Y/n?” You can hear rustling of his sheets, probably from him sitting up in alarm. “What’s going on, love?”

You don’t even register his slip, voice hiccuping from the sobs that are currently racking your throat. If it weren’t for your complete lack of brain power right now, you would probably be embarrassed by the sounds coming out of you. But how could you possibly not cry after a dream like that?

“Where- Where are you?” You question, clinging to your comforter as another round of sobs are released from your constricted throat.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I'm here.” His voice gently whispers, rustling continues and suddenly you can hear his muffled footsteps over the line. “It’s okay, talk to me.. what’s going on?”

You blubber a bit, unable to form coherent words, but another hush from Taehyung and an “it’s okay” helps you to get your words out.

“I had a- a dream. It was a plane crash, Tae.” You cry, breath slowing down ever so slightly. Your mind is still foggy, but you can feel your consciousness slowly coming back. “Where are you?”

There’s dead silence on the end, the previous rustling and footsteps coming to a halt. For a moment, you think you lost him.

“Taehyung?” You whisper, another sob threatening your voice.

“Y/n.” His tone is suddenly serious. “Stay right there. I’m on my way, okay? Just breathe, i’m coming.” You can hear a jingling of what's most likely his keys, and the door slamming shut. “I’m coming, stay there.”

“Okay.” You sniffle quietly, hearing the line cut off and you’re left in the silence of your room once more. Without Taehyung's voice to distract you, the heart that beats rapidly in your chest seems to heighten its speed. Why had he gotten so serious after you told him what your dream was?

….

tag list:

@moonchild1 @procrastination-queenie @hobipaint @jeonfiles @surilirani @dopedreamfireparty @vantezza @audstylesgirl @getmemyfries @unicornbabylover

please send in an ask if you like to be added to the tag list !!

also, if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you!

#fic: it’s definitely you #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x reader #bts x reader #bts x y/n #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x you #bts x you #kth fic #kth fanfic #kth x reader #taehyung imagine #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 3

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: brief mention of character death, PDA at an airport but it’s really sweet so it’s okay, no huge warning for this chapter! but it is a pretty important one… you’ll see…

→ word count: 6.8k

authors note:

hello my wonderful readers and mutuals!! the third chapter of It's Definitely You is FINALLY here!! this chapter was truly difficult to put into words, I'm going to be completely honest... but I am so proud of the result and I hope that all of you enjoy this chapter and its multiple jumps! it was so much fun to write out a dream scene... that one happens to be my favorite ;)) if you have any thoughts, ideas or any scene that stands out to you, I would LOVE to hear about your thoughts and feelings regarding this chapter!! please feel free to send an ask on or off anon!! <3

authors thanks:

again, as usual, a HUGE thank you to @hobipaint for beta-reading this chapter!! your support and love is always so meaningful to me... couldn't ask for anything more!! also a thank you to @monvante for listening to me go on and on about this story-- forreal you put up with me and im so thankful for that!! can't put it into words!! thank you to @sanniesunn and @nightshadevinter for beta-reading for me as well!!

tag list: @monvante @moonchild1 @procrastination-queenie @hobipaint @jeonfiles @surilirani @dopedreamfireparty @vantezza @hantaev @audstylesgirl

please send in an ask if you like to be added to the tag list !!

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"You ran??"

The scream-whispering of Jimin's usually soft voice has other customers staring, bringing on embarrassment as you plead with Jimin to keep it down… for the fourth time.

The Olio e Piú is packed with customers and sounds of sizzling food, ready to be devoured by the crowd, but Jimin's voice seems to be reaching their ears despite all of the noise. Ultimately, Jimin is too heated to eat the food placed in front of him by the waiter, who walks away with a weary glance in your direction.

You don't blame Jimin for being upset. You would be too if you were in his shoes, hearing that his best friend decided to run away from her one chance of finding a boyfriend. But, honestly, even you were inwardly cursing yourself.

Light dances around the room, with no shadows to be seen as the sun reflects on the snow outside, brightening the space with a shining aura. Chairs and tables that decorate the room are brown like those in the academia cafe, and the empty spaces are littered with flourishing plants. You briefly remember the green building coming into view on the way here, Jimin waiting for you in front with a black coat wrapped tightly around him, a red tint to his cheeks and nose as he smiled at you handsomely.

Now, you're staring at the snow-white wall, the chill outside wholly forgotten as soon as Jimin heard the news about last night. Now, you were blazing hot with embarrassment and remembrance of Taehyung's lips on yours. You're dragging your finger along the rim of your wine glass, which is filled with water, completely spaced out. You're not drinking a lick of alcohol for the next few days (you can still remember the awful taste after chugging that beer), even though you wish you could drown away last night.

You can still feel the ghosting touch of his fingertips against your face, like a soft feather tickling your skin. You can still remember the way he tasted: the vague flavor of mint that seeped into your lips and made you crave for more. You can still remember the proximity of him being so close to you. So, so close. Breathing hitched as the distance seemed to get smaller and smaller. The thought of this causes a swarm of heat to travel to your stomach, heart fluttering in recollection of the moment he placed his hand on your hip, which still burns your skin even now beneath your brown woolen sweater.

It's not until Jimin snaps his fingers at you that the trance finally comes to an end, hurtling you back to reality. He's looking at you incredulously.

"Earth to Y/n?" Jimin sputters, dropping his fork onto his plate with a loud clack!

At the start of lunch you were quiet, not wanting to admit the foolishness you presented last night. Jimin had immediately asked you what your problem was… he knew you too well. But unfortunately for him, you hadn't given him any context whatsoever, leaving a desperate Jimin staring at you with a 'hurry up and tell me already' expression on his face. Moments ago, the only thing you could voice was, "Taehyung kissed me, and I ran."

That was it.

Jimin sighs, collecting himself with a breath before he leans across the table to repeat himself in a quieter tone. "You ran?"

You nod.

"Why did you run?"

You shrug.

"You don't know?"

You nod once more.

It's like Jimin is speaking to a brick wall and expecting a response. You've been all too quiet since last night, even after you arrived home. You didn't cry. You didn't overthink. You didn't even slam your head into the pillow and come up with twenty different scenarios which could have gone better. You just sat there on your bedroom floor like the heap of dirty laundry that stoops in the corner of your room waiting to be washed. You were expecting to be kicking your blanket up at the memory in embarrassment. Instead, you sat there with absolutely no expression before finally reaching the cold shell of your sheets and falling into a restless sleep.

"I just…" You begin, looking down when a low hum echoes from your wine glass, stemming from your finger running against its rim. "I didn't know what to do, Jimin. I've never kissed or been kissed before…."

You briefly remember the one time you got close to kissing someone. In the first grade, a boy named Sam helped you up after you fell off the monkey bars. He told you that the only way to repay him was by kissing him on the cheek.

You panicked and ran that day too.

"I guess I panicked." You mutter.

Jimin's features soften, kind eyes watching your ministrations on the wine glass. He obviously senses your discomfort, even if he doesn't say so out loud. Jimin easily reads people, which is something you've always been thankful for. He changes his demeanor to a comforting one when he utters the next question. "Have you talked to him since then?"

No. You haven't. It's been eating at you all night, to the point where you had hardly gotten two hours of sleep— which was probably the primary source of your lack of words and the bags that hang below your eyes. What are you supposed to say when you know you're in the wrong — what are you supposed to do when the one person you want to hold onto is the one person you had pushed away?

"No… I haven't." you finally shake your head, defeated.

Jimin breathes, sitting back slightly before sparing a glance at his food. He ignores it for the fifth time and lifts his focus back to you. That's another thing you love about having a friend like Jimin; he's always willing to listen and get invested in the conversation -- even to the point of forgetting to eat the food set before him, which sits helplessly on his plate.

"You definitely need to call him." He orders.

"What am I supposed to say?" You scoff, lowering the octave of your voice for effect. "Sorry for running away after you kissed me. I'm an idiot and a coward, and I don't know how to handle romantic things!"

"I mean… you could say that." Jimin monotonously responds, twisting pasta around his fork.

You look unamused. This doesn't go unnoticed by the now grinning Jimin sitting across from you. He continues, "What did the two of you talk about before he kissed you?"

For a moment, you hesitate. Does Jimin know about Taehyung's ex? Of course, it isn't your place to spill the truth. Then again, Taehyung probably wouldn't mind all that much, considering it's Jimin you're talking to.

Who cares? Taehyung probably already hates you anyway.

"He told me about his ex…." You reveal.

Jimin looks perturbed. "His ex?"

"Yeah," You take a breath, digging the fork tines into a piece of meat. "She passed away a little over a year ago. He was talking about her after I told him about my failed audition, attempting to inspire me to keep going."

"Wait… the video audition you sent in? Did it not go well?"

You don't respond, lifting the food to your mouth as you avoid Jimin's questioning stare. While you felt awful for abandoning Taehyung, a part of you seemed to forget about that haunting letter. You didn't want to talk about that right now… not after everything that happened. You already had one thing weighing on you, and if another weight was added, you might as well be crushed into smithereens.

Since when has your life become a stress hole?

Jimin seems to connect the dots on his own, huffing out a breath of annoyance before he reaches to take a sip of his water. "The casting directors are the ones who failed."

It's quiet for a moment as he drinks, shaking his head. You're thankful for his words, a spark of hope sinking its way into your heart. Maybe you weren't the problem in the audition situation… but you were definitely the problem in the Taehyung situation.

"Anyway, Taehyung was talking about how in love with her he was… I felt awful." You add, looking down at the lonely piece of meat in the middle of your plate. Much like how you felt last night. Alone and overheated. "He doesn't deserve to lose someone like that."

"I didn't even know he dated since he's been here," Jimin says, his expression confused, evident from his knitted eyebrows and pursed lips. "Why did he hide that from me?"

"I think he hid it from everyone." You attempt to ease Jimin's mind. You knew they were friends, but you didn't realize just how close they were. They must be, considering Jimin's punched-in-the-gut appearance at the notion of his friend not being open with him. "I shouldn't have told you, I'm sorry… that's not my place," you add.

Jimin waves your concern away, distracting himself with a noodle that nearly falls off his plate, reaching just in time to catch it. You still feel bad. You've been feeling bad for a lot of things lately, and it seems not to be letting up.

"Despite having an ex," Jimin continues, the light in his voice returning, "Taehyung talks about you all the time. Like to the point that it gets annoying." He smiles, placing his fork atop his plate to fully look at you. "Also, whenever we're in journalism class together, everything he writes and draws is you. Just the other day, he drew a stage. Another, he drew someone singing. He even drew a "BROADWAY" sign — it's all you."

But it's probably not you. You instantly remember the fact that his ex was a musical theatre performer too. You haven't even reached the point of actual performance in the city yet… so it must be that she is the muse of those drawings. For some reason, that fact makes your heart sink.

What if Taehyung only likes you because you remind him of his ex? What if you're a rebound after everything that happened? You can't blame him, especially after losing someone so special; it's natural to want that kind of person again so they can fill the hole that the other left behind. Still, it doesn't make you feel any better.

"His ex did theatre, too." You voice quietly.

Jimin doesn't respond right away, but he leans forward and attempts to meet your eye. "Okay. And? He still talks about you constantly. How talented you are, how kind you are, how much he misses you on days that he can't go to the cafe." Jimin laughs. "That man has got it bad."

That's when you remember Taehyung's comment about your talent on the rooftop.

He lets out a breath, gathering your hands tighter within his grasp. "Yes, but you're not like everyone. You're insanely talented."

You stare at him, not amused. "You've never heard me sing."

Taehyung seems to stop at this, inhaling quietly as if you've just unveiled a deep secret of his. You feel his finger twitch in nervousness before he speaks again. "Jimin showed me a video."

Stealing yourself as you lower your voice in question. "By the way, did you send Taehyung a video of me singing?"

Jimin pauses, confusion seeping into his features. "No, I didn't.. why?"

Oh. Now you're even more confused.

Why would Taehyung lie about hearing you sing? If he has heard you, how did he get a video in the first place, and why would he lie about getting it from Jimin?

With a mewl-like sob, you place your head in your hands, rubbing your temples slowly in an attempt to calm your brain down. What if Taehyung wants to believe you're talented so that you can take place of the girl he loved most? What if he's being delusional— blinded by what he thinks is love just because you remind him of her?

"I'm probably just a replacement for his ex." You whine quietly, yet loud enough for the statement to reach Jimin's ears.

Jimin looks at you with disbelief. "I never even knew he had an ex, Y/N. He was always too busy talking about you." Jimin shrugs. "Listen, I've known Taehyung for a long time. He would never use you like that; it's just not who he is. He's probably realized that he can find someone just as amazing, and he's accepted fate and moved on. It's okay for him to find someone new after losing someone he loved… he deserves to be happy." He points at you with his fork. "And so do you."

You ponder on his words for a moment, letting them sink into your aching bones, which have grown weaker over the course of just a few days. People can indeed move on after losing someone. It's okay to fall in love again after a fallout, you know that-- it's just that Taehyung has been hurting more than you could ever imagine, and all you've done is complain about yourself. He never talked over you. He never brought it up once. He never expressed how much he was hurting.

And you felt extremely guilty.

You haven't seen Taehyung for the past week, much to your disappointment. Absolute radio silence. To say it's eating at you is an understatement, but lord knows you don't have the guts to reach out after what you did. You had hoped that maybe he would reach out to you, but you can't really blame him for not contacting you, especially after you ran away from him in the dead of night after he kissed you.

You're an absolute idiot.

That kiss still repeats in your head, over and over again. Especially late at night when you fantasize about what you could've fixed that night; how you could have stayed with him and kissed him back, embraced this newfound sprout of feelings that continues to bloom in your stomach day by day. You could be with him right now, right at this second. You could be holding his hand and feeling his embrace that you miss so much.

Instead, you're met with an empty cafe staring back at you as you wipe down the bar counters, sticky with syrup that strayed from the coffee cups. Taehyung hasn't come into the cafe either, and you miss seeing him pop his dark head of hair through the door with a smile. You miss the way he leans his hands on the counter, a sideways smile painting his features when you tease him about health violations.

You missed his little late-night pop-bys, where he would help you clean up or wipe down tables despite not even working here. He would express how he just wanted you to get home at a decent time, ignoring your protestations and flinging a dry rag at you when you continued to pester him.

You miss the late-night conversations over cups of coffee…

"So, this is a…?"

"A cookie dough latte." You explained, two cups placed into each of your hands as Taehyung stared down at the coffee, which was topped with cookie pieces. A litter of brown specks across the whipped cream surface.

Taehyung had spent the last couple nights with you taste-testing the following "flavors of the month" and offering up any form of feedback he could, much to your amusement. You couldn't bring yourself to tell him that you have no say in what flavor gets chosen for that month, allowing him to offer up future ideas anyway and filing them into your brain… just in case. He had a keen mind for brainstorming.

He took a careful sip, licking his lips in savory before he glanced at you with a shocked expression. You had to hold yourself back from laughing at the expression he wore. You couldn't stop your heart from jumping at the sight of his slight smile.

"Good?" You questioned.

"Amazing." He responded.

You smiled, reaching over to the cookie topping shaker and sprinkling some more atop the whipped cream of Taehyung's cup. He gasped quietly, pausing for dramatic effect before raising a hand over his heart and looking at you in adoration. "You're too good to me." He teased.

Later in the night, Taehyung walked you home with another cookie dough latte in his hand (which you made sure was decaf, or else he was never getting to sleep that night). It was the moment when a man on the sidewalk nearly rammed into you, Taehyung gripping onto your hand and pulling you against his chest before you had the chance to collide with said man. His heart was beating rapidly as you stood there, not making an effort to leave his embrace just yet, despite the passerby apologizing and continuing on his way.

You enjoyed the feeling of his arm around you, holding you gently and carefully before asking if you were alright. You felt like you were in heaven for a moment... embracing the feeling as much as you could and stalling the inevitable parting. Once you finally slid slowly out of his embrace, you turned your head to thank him, a blush evident on your cheeks.

You remember the way the two of you never separated your hands the rest of the walk home, only breaking when you finally walked through the door of your apartment, leaving a smiling Taehyung behind.

You miss that smile.

You miss him.

You resume wiping down the counters littered with speckles of coffee splatters, cursing yourself for daydreaming about him for the hundredth time today. This was absolutely pathetic. If Taehyung wants to make up with you, he'll reach out, and everything will b-

Ding!

Your head shoots up, eyes finding a dark head of hair, brown coat, and a scarf that covers nearly the entirety of this man's face. The heart that beats within your chest has suddenly raised its pace, your hand clenching your rag as the man removes the scarf, unleashing his identity.

Is it Taehyung?

Your heart drops to the sewers (where rats are probably eating it) when you realize that it wasn't the man you were hoping it would be. You offer the stranger a small greeting, taking his order and sending him out with his hot coffee before it's finally time to lock up the cafe. That man is entirely unaware of the pain he brought into your already aching heart.

You guess you won't be seeing Taehyung today… again.

Before you exit the cafe, a small piece of text on the wall catches your attention.

"What we should fear the most is fearing what we shouldn't." - Craig D. Lounsbrough.

Later that night, you attempt to reach out to Taehyung. You want to at least apologize for everything... to make sure he knew that this had nothing to do with him and everything to do with you being cowardly.

[To: taehyung] hey.. can we talk? |

[To: taehyung] hey.. ca|

[To: taehyung]

[To: taehyung] i just wanted to say sorry for running

away…|

[To: taehyung] i just wanted t|

[To: taehyung]

[To: taehyung] hey |

[To: taehyung]

You sigh, softly dropping your phone face down on the mattress beneath you. The gentle pitter-patter of the rain on your bedroom window is the only thing keeping your mind from running completely haywire, holding onto it by a string. You enjoyed the rainfall, always have— it has a calming aspect that you are grateful for.

You wish that this calming shower could give you some ideas on what to say to Taehyung… but no avail. The most it's helped you do is type and delete everything that you attempted to send, only resulting in a blank text box and an added weight on your heart. Is he overthinking too? Does he think that you hate him like you think he hates you? Or is he not thinking about anything regarding the situation? You don't know.

You wonder what he's doing right now, trying to think back to your last conversation with him… maybe he mentioned that he was going to be busy? Perhaps that's why he hasn't reached out? You know this isn't the truth. He wasn't reaching out because you probably made him feel like you didn't like him.

Which you're starting to realize, you do.

You really like him.

That's what makes his absence so much harder, and the fact that you denied your feelings and ran away that night only makes you feel worse.

You're pacing your living room in your giraffe slippers when you finally decide enough is enough, determined to distract yourself from everything that has happened the past couple of weeks, drowning your sorrows in a glass of wine and a bag of Doritos. Healthy. You plop down on your couch, resting your aching feet on the white coffee table as "In The Soop" plays in the background.

It's your favorite show; seven best friends who get lost in the middle of the woods and have to figure out how to survive until help comes around. You smile to yourself, embracing the fact that you're finally in your comforting element.

When you were younger, you used to venture out into the woods of your hometown, your old best friend glued to your heels as the trees rushed past you in your haste. You used to pretend to be lost, building a fort out of old sticks and tree branches so the two of you could "survive" out in the "wilderness," knowing full well that your house was only a mere mile away. When this TV show was released, it took you back full swing to your past, comforting you from everything this world might have thrown against you.

Now, everything was being thrown at you, so name a better time to watch it again.

It was working for a moment, taking the heavy ache of your heart away for a moment before your head sunk back into the couch, drowsiness overtaking you. Then in a few moments, you were fast asleep.

You're dreaming.

The woosh of trees are blurring past you as the vent in the car throws cool air on your face. You feel content, the speed of the vehicle and the soft rain falling against the windshield lulling you to a dreamy state. You take a moment to look at the song's name on the radio, which whispers all around you like a soft-spoken secret. "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron. You smile, soft and sweet, as a warm hand gently rubs atop your thigh with a feather-like touch.

You look to the side, met with Taehyung's side profile, his own hair being tousled by the air. He's wearing a small smile, rubbing against your skin so softly as he sings quietly along with the music, his voice hypnotizing and gentle, pulling you even further into complete bliss. You admire the way his head tilts when he looks at a highway sign, navigating his way through the busy roads at a pace that feels slower than the speed limit.

He doesn't want you to go just yet.

Your eyes fall back onto the horizon, seeing your exit up ahead as Taehyung sighs at the sight.

“Exit 7, Laguardia Airport.”

Suddenly, you're standing in front of the Security Check in the airport. People around you remove their loose items, placing their phones into gray bins as they're run through a scanner. There's a light feeling in your chest, excitement seeping into every crevice of your bones and forcing a large smile onto your lips. Every bit of this experience reminds you of your destination, causing your smile to widen even more.

"Don't look so excited to leave me." Taehyung teases, softly pinching your arm before he bends down to remove his shoes.

"I'm not excited for that part." You huff out a breath, removing your own slippers and placing them into one of the bins. Your phone, small carry on and your jewelry follows. Taehyung's items soon are placed beside yours, his hand grazing your arm before a gentle kiss is placed on your neck. You smile as you turn towards the metal detector.

"Tae, stop it." You laugh gently, removing his warm arms that have now snaked around your waist, your heart fluttering at the sensation.

"I won't be able to do this for a while… let me." He says solemnly, the smile on your face faltering slightly before he kisses you again and resumes his placement around you, dragging his hands against your skin. He breathes in, releasing a slow sigh beside your ear.

You love him.

Another time jump, and now you're standing in front of Gate 38; Taehyung's arms are still around you as you glance at the family sitting together across from you. The children are playing games on the floor as the parents speak tiredly amongst themselves, holding hands. You smile at the sight, appreciative of the little things that seem to keep falling before you today, making you even more thankful for everything you have. Taehyung kisses your head, nuzzling you sweetly as he whispers in your ear.

"No matter how much I'll miss you, I am so so excited." He says, the smile on his lips evident with the lilt in his voice. "You're going to do so well. I'm so proud of you."

You close your eyes, soaking in every piece of his voice while you still can. When he speaks, the low timbre gives you goosebumps, dragging you under his spell and making you curse the plane that is now pulling up to the gate. You were only going to be gone for a month, but it was strange... it was as if you were never coming back. Something was telling you to cling to him for a little while longer. To love him as much as you can. Do not let this moment go to waste.

"I love you." You say softly, almost inaudible, for the first time.

Taehyung pauses, silent and still. You wince, thinking that he might not have been ready to hear that statement, but he's hastily turning you around and staring at you with an unreadable emotion. In an instant, he leans forward quickly, his hand falling behind your neck as he drags you toward him for a kiss.

You're now standing in front of the gate; the line you're waiting in is beginning to board. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, thundering against your ribs like a wild storm in a quiet town. You can't believe this is happening. You can't believe you're about to achieve everything you've ever wanted.

The moment to scan your boarding pass comes all too quickly, causing you to turn towards Taehyung, his hands automatically finding your own when you look up at him.

"I'll see you in a month, okay?" You say quietly, offering him a teary smile.

He's smiling back at you, his own tears lining the bottom of his eyes as he leans in and meets your lips once again. His lips are soft and sweet, breath fresh like a thoroughly watered garden. He pulls back slightly, bumping his nose against yours affectionately. "I can't wait to hear about your success, Y/N… I'll be cheering from the front row." He pecks your lips once, twice. "Don't forget about me, or I might lose it."

You scoff, a laugh bubbling up and out of you. "How could I?"

He grins, kissing you one more time, longer and deeper.

"I love you." He whispers.

If you thought your heart was fluttering before, it's nothing compared to now. Now, you can feel every single beat of the butterflies wings that are enrapturing you and making you dread leaving even more. You feel his grasp loosen on you, turning you around and sending you in the opposite direction with a soft "go go go, you'll be late" leaving his lips. Like a promise to be waiting for your return.

It's when you nearly round the corner that he calls your name, drawing your gaze back to his. He's holding up finger hearts, an excited smile gracing his lips that you wish were back on yours. You'll see him soon, you know. But you can't help but feel like you might never taste him again.

With a laugh and a shake of your head, you continue walking, waving to him as his figure finally falls out of your range of sight. You continue down, feeling as if a part of you is already missing.

You awake slowly, the sound of In The Soop's title track playing softly on your tv speakers. You remember where you are, slowly realizing that it was all a dream, and now you're drowned in reality. It feels as if a deep hole has been dug into your heart, a part of you wanting to dive back into that dream and be with Taehyung again. It was so real…

But now, the harsh truth of never having that with Taehyung is more real than ever.

The last bit of your dream gave you deja vu, remembering the sound of him calling your name when you left him on the rooftop. Only during that time, it bothers you that you didn't turn back around. It would be best if you had turned around… maybe he would've smiled at you like he did in your dream. Maybe he would have held your hand and told you that he would wait for you.

Maybe you wouldn't feel so empty like you do now.

You see Taehyung the next day.

It's for a split second that you think you might be dreaming again, but the pinch to your arm proves to you that this is real. He's walking through the doors, his eyes downcast and his hands hidden inside a brown coat tucked snugly around him. You nearly lose your breath at the sight of him. Having not seen him for a few weeks, his appearance knocks your senses out of you until you can only stand there and stare.

He’s so… beautiful.

He looks up timidly, your eyes bulging as if he has the power of reading your mind. He’s walking farther into the cafe before his steps falter the second he meets your eyes. You must look surprised; you can feel your cheeks flushing and stomach twisting in tiny little deathly knots. Your eyes hold each other's gaze for a moment, and you're able to soak in those chocolate brown optics that you've missed so much.

To your dismay, he looks away quickly and lowers his gaze again with an unreadable expression before he picks up his pace and ascends towards the counter.

He's coming this way. You can feel his aura encompassing you as he takes steps towards you.

Before he reaches you, he turns, catching you off guard when he avoids your questioning stare and walks up to Jimin on the bar. Your heart sinks into your stomach.

He's avoiding you… and why wouldn't he? You want to stroll up to him and explain yourself, tell him that you were stupid and shouldn't have left-- but you can't move. You can't think straight.

"Jimin." He calls softly, catching Jimin's attention behind the counter. Taehyung looks tired-- as if he hasn't been sleeping. Bags hang beneath his eyes (much like your own), pulled down by a noticeable weight, and you can practically feel and see the wall he's putting between you. "Would you mind coming over after your shift to talk about the project? I need some feedback."

Jimin seems to take in his appearance at the same time you do, his eyebrows cinching in concern before he nods. "Of course I can." Jimin pauses, leaning forward a bit with a hushed tone. "Are you o-?"

"I'm fine. Thank you, I'll see you soon." He smiles a forced smile before turning, wandering back towards the doors without sparing you a second glance. You can't help but feel punched in the gut, your stomach twisting into those cursed tiny knots again. Only this time, it was out of sheer disappointment. Taehyung bounds out into the bustling city streets before disappearing into the crowd within a blink of an eye. Were you even seeing him correctly? Was he here at all? He was, but only for a mere moment… and you want him to come back.

Jimin turns to look at you, an apologetic expression on his face as he offers a slight shrug, resuming his process of making a latte. You can see him shaking his head as he bites his lower lip in thought. You wonder what he might be thinking right now. Maybe his thoughts would patch up the holes in your heart that seem to get bigger and bigger as the days go on. At this point, you don't have any more room in your brain to dissect Taehyung's quick visit just now. You just wish he would talk to you.

And you wish you could bring yourself to do the same.

It's nine o'clock in the evening, yet here you are, making cookies despite your early shift tomorrow morning at the cafe.

Coping mechanism.

Truth be told, you were more than willing to call out and have a day to yourself. You were always one to bask in your sadness. Eating and watching sad movies while crying into a bowl of ice cream? That sounded like a beautiful day off to you. Unbeautiful for you, you know that two people have already called out tomorrow; there was no way you were getting your shift covered. You needed the money anyway. And the distraction.

The warm smell of the cookies travels throughout your tiny apartment, which is decorated in dark browns, whites, and greens. The coziness of your apartment has always helped soothe you... maybe that's why you spent so much time at home, alone. You were going for a 'light academia' look when you first moved in, and thanks to Jimin's keen eye for interior design, you like to think it was successful. The tiny kitchen is decked out with dough, pans, and utensils -- dirtying your freshly cleaned counter that you spent time scrubbing just yesterday.

Cleaning. Another coping mechanism.

It isn't until you hear the chime of your laptop that you set the cookie dough bowl down, much to your stomach's dismay, since you've been sneaking bites of the raw cookie dough into it throughout your culinary extravaganza. You work your way to your small circular dining room table, plopping down in the wooden seat. The city view below sits quietly.

Email from: Film Out Theatre

Subject: Audition Opportunity.

What the hell?

Your heart staggers as you sit up straighter, breath hitched. We're you reading correctly?

Audition? Opportunity? You finally inhale, 1. because if you didn't, you'd probably end up passing out (breathing is kind of important), and 2. you did not want to get too excited… this could be just a scam. Even scammers were playing with you now. Typical.

From: [email protected]

To: officialY/NY/L/[email protected]

Date: November 20th, 2022

Subject: Audition Opportunity

Dear Y/N Y/L/N,

My name is Hyun Do-yun, a director here at Film Out Theatre in London. We are currently casting for an upcoming West End production called "The Eternal" that opens in only six months. Due to casting issues, we are looking for a hardworking actress to take on the lead role.

The lead role… The lead role?! On West End?? Your eyes bulge, heart leaping up into your throat as you reread the letters on the screen with wide eyes. You feel dizzy. Maybe the cookie dough wasn't such a good idea at this time of night. It was already making you jittery, and now this was just fueling the fire.

You stare at him for a moment, awestruck by the weight of his words. “But,” he adds, turning back towards the wind, “the ones who never give up and continue to chase that dream can become successful. Despite all of the no’s they might face, they always hold on till they hear a yes. That sounds like true success to me.

The night you truly got to know Taehyung seems to be replaying in your brain. You held on. This might finally be your yes. Without a second thought, your hands are hastily reaching for your phone to dial Taehyung's number.

He's not going to believe this!

It's the moment your thumb is hovering over the call button that you remember who Taehyung is to you now. He’s not the same boy who walked you home after game night. He was now a mere old friend that you turned down. A soft-spoken boy who you left on the rooftop in the middle of a cold winter night, alone. A person who probably does not want to speak to you.

You heave out a breath, placing your phone back down in disappointment in your reflexes. Why was everything about Taehyung these days? You look back at the email. The thought of Taehyung is not going to dampen your excitement. You won't let it. You've waited for this.

A good friend of ours who is currently opening a theatre in New York, named Kim Namjoon, reached out to us regarding you. They sent us a video of your talents, and we are pleased to inform you of our interest. We would like you to audition for the lead role of Olivia Daughny. I have attached a working copy of the script, along with the pages and sheet music I would like you to prepare for your audition.

The auditions will be online, so feel free to attach your video audition and we will consider you for in-person callbacks.

Due to the short notice, if you are unavailable to make it to the callbacks on December 16th here in London, we will have no choice but to look elsewhere. We hope you are able to visit during that time.

Please call me at 020-639-2747, or reply to this email if you are interested in auditioning for the role.

Thank you so much for your interest in working with the Film Out Theatre.

Regards,

Hyun Do-yun

Film Out Theatre Company Manager

[email protected]

020-639-2747

You can't breathe.

The bowl of cookie dough is long forgotten as you shoot up from your seat. A shrill shriek escapes your lips as you jump up and down, breathing restricted from your excitement — you wouldn't be surprised if your face is bright red like a tomato right now. You take a moment to recuperate, resting your hand on your chest before you sit back down and reread the email.

Is this actually happening?

Don't get ahead of yourself, Y/N... be professional.

Your fingers are shaking when you press reply.

Dear Hyun Do-yun,

Hello, my name is Y/N Y/L/N. Thank you so much for contacting me and giving me such a wonderful opportunity! I will gladly send a video audition for the role and will be available for callbacks on December 16th if needed.

Thank you again!

With appreciation, Y/N Y/L/N.

The little girl who dreamed of being on the big stage is erupting inside of you, blowing bubbles and dancing within your stomach like you used to while alone in your room. You're trying to remind yourself that you haven't gotten the role yet. Do not get your hopes up. But this was the closest you've gotten to a rewarding audition since you moved here; how could you not be elated?

"A good friend of ours who is currently opening a theatre in New York, named Kim Namjoon, reached out in regards to you."

Kim Namjoon.

That was the man who's opening up Kim's Theatre. You vaguely remember his tall stature, collecting every bit of attention from the intrigued reporters who followed his every move. You remember Taehyung's eyes lit up when Namjoon uttered a catching phrase. You remember the smile on Taehyung's face when he heard something he enjoyed. You remember the concern spread across those same features when he saw you patiently waiting.

The child within you seems to be slowing down in remembrance of the person whose contact is still resting patiently on your phone screen. Finally able to sit in your seat, your hands reach for that same phone once more.

You want to text him.

Just text him!

But he's probably still really upset with you.

Don't text him!

You take a breath, opening up a new message.

[To: Jimin ☕️] guess who got an audition opportunity from a west end director ?????? for a west end show ????? for the lead ????? because they are interested in me ?????

With a warm smile present on your face again, you look at your email response and read it over, making sure you're not missing anything. Finally, you take a breath and move the mouse over the send button.

This is your moment.

This is what you've waited for.

Email Sent.

next chapter

enjoying this story? pleas be sure to like and reblog!! it would really help me out, and i would love to hear your thoughts and feelings regarding this work!! thank you for taking the time to read :)

#taehyung x reader #bts x reader #taehyung imagine #taehyung fic #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x oc #taehyung x you #bts fanfiction #bangtanarmynet #fic: it’s definitely you #faes fanfics

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 2

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: self deprecation, negative thoughts, intense talk of failure and giving up... there may or may not be a kiss... be aware.

→ word count: 9.9k

tag list: @kimtaehyng @moonchild1 @procrastination-queenie @hobipaint @jeonfiles @surilirani @dopedreamfireparty @vantezza

please send in an ask if you like to be added to the tag list !!

authors note:

hello everyone !!! YAY we’ve finally made it to the second chapter of It’s Definitely You! first off, i just want to say a HUGE thank you to all of you for the support of the first chapter! knowing that people are excited about the future of this series is… insanely rewarding. a GIANT thank you to everyone who reblogged and gave me your feedback!!! i loved reading everyones reactions and those are honestly the most rewarding part of writing.. so thank you, from the bottom of my heart ! 🤍

faes thanks:

thank you @kimtaehyng and @hantaev for always being so so supportive of me and this story and beta-reading 🥺 thank you for dealing with my ranting regarding IDY and the constant ask for feedback because we KNOW that’s how i function 😂 a GIIIIAANNTTT thank you to @hobipaint for deciding to beta-read this chapter for me 🥺 y’all don’t even know… hazels beta-reading is so so SO helpful and she always knows exactly what to add to the story.. thank you hazel for being the backbone of this chapter!!! your support and help is BEYOND appreciated 🥺🤍🤍

also, if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you 🤍 without further ado… enjoy!!

<- chapter one | chapter two | chapter three (coming soon) ->

Eventually, you had decided to look past your nerves and accept his offer to hang out later. What could possibly go wrong? He’s a friend, and friends spend time together and hang out. No strings attached. It’s not like this is a date, aka the first date you’ve ever been on. No way is it a date. Despite this fact, you couldn’t keep the butterflies from flapping their wings against your stomach. Taehyung wanted to hang out with you. Probably the hottest guy you’ve ever met wants to hang out with you.

Calm down, Y/n. Calm down.

Whilst doing your makeup, you figure you probably wouldn’t need much blush, seeing as you were already blazing and you haven’t even left the house yet.

This isn’t a date, Y/n.

This is precisely why you’ve chosen to dress casually; a white knit sweater that buttons down the front, dark grey skinny jeans, brown winter boots, and a pullover brown jacket that has fluff around its hood. You deny the fact that you’ve chosen brown because he’d mentioned it was his favorite color. A part of you thinks he’ll notice, but it’s too late to change now as you hear a delicate knock on your apartment door, your mascara nearly blinding you when your hand bounces as you apply it.

“Coming!” You call, checking your appearance in the mirror and straightening out your shirt. You’ve curled your hair, soft beach waves that fall just above your rib cage like a dangling curtain. Two clips pull both sides of your hair back, strands framing your face as the rest falls down your back. You feel pretty. With a quick smile at a job well done, you stride over to the door and open it carefully.

As soon as Taehyung comes into view, your breath gets knocked out of you… Well damn-- you were definitely underdressed. A long, soft brown jacket reaches all the way to below his knees, covering a fully black outfit beneath. Yes, he’s wearing dress pants and dress shoes.

You’re screwed.

In two ways, actually. You were screwed because one you were not expecting this to be a fancy/ outing, and two because he looked so good that you weren’t sure if the loud pounding was your heart, or the man down the hallway knocking on someone’s door. Probably both. Whatever it was, the pounding only grew louder when he took a small step forward, sending a spiral of butterflies to your stomach. No matter how badly you didn’t want to admit it, Taehyung made you nervous. This much was clear from the clamming of your hands and the way you hold your breath when he looks at you. Get it together.

“Hi.” He greets you quietly, flashing a small smile as he glances down at your appearance. He does this so quickly that it’s almost unnoticeable, but you’re still able to detect it, causing immediate embarrassment to take over.

“See... If you had told me where we were going I wouldn’t be so underdressed like I am.” You profess, eyeing him wearily as a smirk breaks onto his face. He turns his head slightly, attempting to avoid showing you his growing smile. “Are you laughing?”

“No.” He lies weakly.

You would be frustrated if it weren’t for the laugh that escapes his mouth, low and soft, like the thunder before a storm. The sound draws a smile out of you, forming on your own lips. The power he has over you is ridiculous. “I’m happy that my lack of fashion sense and knowledge is funny to you.”

“I’m sorry,” He apologizes, stuffing his hands within the pockets of his coat. Despite the fact that he was laughing at you, a part of you hoped that he would smile like this forever. That he would show that boxy smile of his, which he made light of at the party, but it completely took all the breath in your lungs away. His happiness was infectious, and you were increasingly becoming aware of this fact. You hope he’d smile like that again. You hope that you could be the source of that smile. That he would be happy with you. He was perfect.

“You look perfect, Y/n.”

It feels as if the exchange becomes frozen, the two of you looking at each other after his confession like he has said something absolutely ridiculous. Truth be told, he did say something ridiculous— because, to you, you were far from perfect... in every way.

“Perfect as in-“ he clears his throat, releasing a hand from his pocket and ushering you out of the doorway. “As in, perfect for the occasion. As in, you’re not overdressed. Perfect.” The stumble of his words makes your heart skip, his warm hand wrapped around your lower arm as he turns you in an attempt to lock the door. “Now, c’mon, we’ll be late!”

If you thought you couldn’t contain your smile before, that was nothing compared to your smile now. You can’t remember the last time you felt giddy… the last time you felt like you couldn’t contain your joy. Biting your lip in an attempt to hide your grin, you lock the door quickly and walk ahead of him down the hallway— his footsteps falling quickly behind.

The bright lights that shone down on the city streets were dancing as the snow whipped by, creating their own light show along the sidewalks as the two of you walked through the beams. The light show continues to get briefly interrupted by the crowd making their way down the sidewalk. There was another reason why you loved New York so much: you were a people person.

Seeing everyone walking amidst the flurries leaves you with a satisfied feeling, families who have visited the city attempting to rein in their excitable children who can’t help but dance along with the snow. Couples holding hands as they walk together, hot chocolate in the other. People hailing cabs in suits and dresses, obviously on their way to or from an important meeting in their busy schedules. People handing out flyers or cards, attempting to start a business or keep an existing one going. It was the hustle and bustle that made you feel human, showing you that you weren’t the only one with a dream or a plan in this city.

Usually, you walk these parts alone since it’s in one of the safer districts. Sometimes Jimin meets you for a morning walk to the cafe, but other than that it's just you. But with Taehyung walking beside you, every bit of the magic this city holds is magnified-- now, you have someone to share it with… even if it isn’t a date.

For a brief moment down 50th street, Taehyung's hand brushes your own. As quickly as the touch came, it went, leaving behind a burning feeling and a longing for him to just hold onto you. Stop. You push down the thought, inwardly cursing yourself. Taehyung was as sweet as they come, pointing out certain shops or stores he loves, or nodding to someone along the sidewalk when they offer him a smile. A ghosting touch of his hand on your lower back as he guides you through a larger crowd. He was kind, and he was being kind to you. Yet, here you were reading into everything and catching feelings for a man who is:

1. Totally out of your league.

And:

2. Just trying to be a good friend.

It isn’t until the two of you round 51st street that his hand on your arm launches you out of your thoughts. He’s smiling at you with the widest grin, releasing his hold and skipping out in front of you with his arms stretched up, like a child on Christmas morning. “Ta da!” He calls, his breath fogging in the air. It takes you more than a few seconds to look away from his excited state, a smile stuck on your lips as your eyes train over to the marquee down the street.

Wicked: The Untold Story Of The Witches Of Oz.

You glance back at him expectantly, his smile doubled in size, “I got us tickets!” He exclaims, turning towards the shining marquee. “You mentioned that this was your favorite show at Jimin's party, and I figured, since I’ve never seen it, that the master of all things ‘Wicked The Musical’ should come with me.”

When he glances back at you, beaming, your heart swells. The marquee lights are reflecting in his eyes, giving them a sparkling impression that’s warm and comforting, despite the harsh winter air that stings your cheeks. You don’t want to admit to yourself that you’re more excited about seeing his smile again than the show tickets. You offer him a smile, a laugh bubbling out of you when he resumes showing off his “jazz hands.” The shining marquee’s got nothing on him.

“You didn’t.” You chuckle, shaking your head as you make your way towards the entrance, the movement loosening a strand of your hair before it falls into your eyes.

“I did indeed.” He clarifies.

Without a second of hesitation his hand is brushing away the loose strand and tucking it behind your ear. He does it so perfectly, almost as if he’s done this before… like it's been rehearsed repeatedly in his head. Suddenly, the air— which was once warm with his presence— feels cold again. He pauses, most likely registering what he just did before blinking away his dazed expression. With a quick breath, he plunges his hands back into his pockets. “Sorry.” He mumbles. “Let’s go inside!”

When he disappears through the doors, you're left out in the bitter chill, thoughts swarming faster than the flurries above you.

The lights engulf the stage, shooting harsh beams all across its surface that gently disperse when the floor is coated with thick fog. The sound of the orchestra is thundering within your ears as the actress playing Elphaba rises into the sky, cloak fluttering behind her like a shadow while she serenades the audience with her voice.

“So, If you care to find me, look to the western sky! As someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to fly!”

You study the actor's movements, arms outstretched and eyes scanning the audience before her with triumph, as she raises the broomstick higher. The weight in your chest throughout the show grows heavier. The weight of longing to be up there, performing like this, eventually. You can’t help the tears that prick behind your eyes, entranced by the scene that you so desperately wish you could perform yourself.

“Tell them how I am defying gravity! I’m flying high defying gravity… and soon I'll match them in renown!”

Stealing a glance at Taehyung, you’re expecting him to be awestruck. You hold a sense of pride for this show, since it’s your favorite— or rather, the show that inspired you to take musical theatre seriously in the first place. Growing up, you weren’t certain of what you wanted to do with your life; mostly juggling between random things that caught your attention at that time. But after seeing Wicked, it was as if everything made sense. You knew that you wanted to play “make believe” for a living.

You’re expecting Taehyung to be amazed, yes. But what you’re not expecting is the fact that he’s already looking at you. Was he even watching the show? He better be. Despite your annoyance at his lack of focus, you can’t help but feel the rush of heat that travels across your face.

As quickly as you look at him, you’re looking away, bringing yourself back down to earth when Elphaba finally belts out the first “bring me down” of the climax.

The second her voice sounds, the entire room has resigned to whooping and hollering over the vocals, the theatre already clapping before she has a chance to finish the song. You wish you could join them in clapping and cheering. You wish you could say that you aren't jealous. But the truth is, every fiber of your being is wanting to crawl up that stage, throw Elphaba off the lift, and take her place.

It’s with the last note that you feel Taehyung shift, the ends of his hair brushing your temple before he voices his thoughts delicately beside your ear. You suppress a shiver.

“That’s definitely gonna be you someday.”

Weeks with Taehyung seem to feel like days. It was strange, having someone so delved into a friendship like yours— seeing as he spends most of his time around you, especially now that he has your number (courtesy of Jimin… but you weren’t complaining). The night of Wicked went by all too quickly, even if you came home at two o’clock in the morning after Taehyung walked you home. You had, tipsily, begged him to stay with you so that he could be safe and not walk home in New York at two in the morning.. which now, you were relieved to know he had politely declined.

You can still picture the shocked look on his face, a change in his eyes when you’d asked him to come inside… how he hesitated before rejecting your offer. How he’d thought about it and looked desperate to stay with you, but ultimately (and rather reluctantly) turned the offer down. It might’ve been the drinks, but you feel like you remember closing the door and hearing a soft thud of his head against it, a quiet sob following.

It was probably the drinks.

Time with Taehyung feels different. Nerve inducing. Something completely new, yet so familiar.. It was as if everything was peaceful and okay while you were in his presence, despite all the problems in your life. You were happy with him… maybe a little too happy.

You had promised yourself countless times over the past few weeks not to think too much into this. This thing- er, uh— friendship between the two of you. Go with the flow, relax and don’t ruin anything. At the time, that promise seemed easy enough… but the more Taehyung was around you, the harder it became to keep it.

It was in the subtle touches of his fingertips against your own when he received his usual latte, which you memorized subconsciously. It was in the shared smiles when the two of you pointed out Jimins height to spite him, much to the ray of sunshine’s dismay. It was in his eyes when he looked at you for a touch too long… just enough to cause the churning within your stomach to stumble faster and faster, until the only thing you can do is push that feeling down before it becomes too much.

Don’t read too much into this. He’s just your friend. Friends take care of each other and are affectionate. It’s nothing special.

At least, that’s what you continued to tell yourself. Even when he would stay after hours at the cafe to keep you company while you closed the store. Even when he would smile up at you over his coffee mug while you would sweep the floors.  Even when he would open the door for you on the way out. Even when he walked you home, ensuring that you were safely inside before he left with a bounce to his step.

It was a routine now: Taehyung dropping by the cafe for his usual latte, the two of you conversing as much as possible until another customer is ready to have their order taken. It was comforting to know that he enjoyed spending time with you… in all honesty, sometimes it felt like no one wanted to. Whether it be your co-workers, or the casting directors who sent you back to the door.

But Taehyung took every chance he got to be with you. And that was something you’d never experienced before since you moved here.

You felt wanted with Taehyung.

You felt  enough.

And that? That was more than enough for you.

This being the reason why you have undoubtedly drilled into your brain the fact that you are a) just friends and b) not messing this up. As long as the two of you stayed in this bubble of friendship and care for eachother, everything would be fine.

At least, that’s what you believed.

Despite his kindness and sincerity towards you, you can sense something in those coffee brown eyes… something off, something he was hiding from you. Like every time he was with you, a part of him hurt inside- even his toothy grins couldn't hide the pain you saw within them. You tried to ignore it, but the way he glances at you has your heart wavering; as if a bit of him is dying every time he looks into your eyes.

“So, when do you get the news?” Taehyung questions, hunched over the small table in the corner of the Academia Cafe. The view from your seat across from him is beautiful: facing the window as snow falls outside and bypassers walk busily along the sidewalk, leaving their footprints behind. It’s crazy, the number of people living in the city… the matted down footprints were proof, crunched snow decorating the sidewalks like a child had danced across its surface, leaving behind a crushed snow cone.

Not only was the view in front of you beautiful, but the man sitting across from you with attentive eyes and a small americano in his hands is making it all the more beautiful. Truthfully, he was much more mesmerizing than the matted snow sidewalk. He is the perfection of the snow in the middle of the night when the moonlight shines down upon it, the surface sparkling like diamonds. Long before people have the chance to stomp on it. You hope he’s never stomped on. You hope he’s never hurting… that he’s never been hurt.

“I think it’s sometime this week actually?” You respond, playing with the rim of the yellow mug you’d snatched from the back room, which just so happened to be Jimin's favorite. Luckily, he was too busy working to notice. “I sent in the video audition to the Dionysus Theatre Company  weeks ago, so I’m guessing there’s a lot of competition if they haven’t casted it yet.”

Taehyung smiles gently, propping his cup on the table and crossing his arms in front of him. You can’t begin to explain how gentle he’s been throughout the process of you freaking out. This audition was really important to you. It was the first audition you’ve done in months, after you were rejected from the first round of auditions for a local theatre. A local theatre. It wasn’t even Broadway and you were already failing.

You glance down at the darkness of your coffee, the memory striking your already wavering confidence like a dagger until you wish you could dive into that darkness and never come out. Like a black pool of nothingness.

“Hey,” Taehyung whispers, catching your attention from the aforementioned black pool of nothingness. He’s dipped his head, attempting to meet your eyes. “What’s wrong?”

His voice is so gentle, so calm, so kind; studying you with cinched eyebrows. So concerned. He’s looking at you with all the care in the world… and yet it prods at your heart, feeling somewhat like a burden to Taehyung. He doesn’t need to pity you. He doesn’t need to hear your sob stories and console you. He doesn’t need your shit in his life. He doesn’t need you, a stranger, to come crashing and take him down with you.

“It’s nothing,” You respond quickly, painting on a fake smile. “So, how’s your journalism class going?”

He pauses, tilting his head slightly at the avoidance of his question. The rush of blood to your face probably doesn’t go unnoticed as you breathe in, begging for him to just let the situation go. You don’t want to talk about it-- not with someone who you care for so much. You don’t want to make your baggage someone else’s. At the same time, every aching bone in your body wants to unload the sore pain of fear and failure and let it out. You know that Taehyung would be willing to listen.

Thankfully, he seems to come to the conclusion of letting you keep your pride. “It’s going good! Jimin and I are working on a project right now: the opening of a new theatre on 46th street. It’s a really nice place, you should come see it.” He takes a sip as you nod in agreement. It would be nice to see a theatre before it becomes a hot spot. You’ve never been able to go backstage before at a professional theatre, so if the offer stands, you were willing to take it.

“I’m looking forward to it,” He adds, “especially since I'll be drawing the building for the article— and we don’t even have to use an actual photo.” The excitement that sparkles in his eyes makes a smile tug at the corners of your mouth. You know Taehyung wants to show the beauty of places through his drawings, without photos— the uniqueness of his outlook on journalism is something that inspires you. He’s not a copy and paste kind of person. He wants to draw the beauty, but not take away from the excitement when his readers actually visit there. He doesn’t want to give the beauty away with a photo. He’s all fresh, new ideas— someone that treasures the art that he's creating through his drawings, someone who radiates the extravagance of art with just a single look that outshines all the museums. He is an artist.

“That’s honestly really exciting… I’m so happy for you, Tae.” The smile on your face is genuine now, pure happiness dancing in your chest at his success. His success and joy means a great deal to you. A part of you wants to smack yourself over that fact, but you can’t help being honest. As much as you hate to admit it,Taehyung has started to mean a great deal to you.

The way his eyes soften at the nickname you’ve given him makes your heart soar, a smile reaching his own lips that meets his eyes. “Thank you.”

For a moment, the two of you sit in a comfortable silence, sipping on your beverages while the snow falls outside in a silent rein. If only you could bottle up this moment and keep it with you forever. Unfortunately, this is not the case, especially since your timer goes off on your phone, signaling that your lunch break is over. Taehyung huffs quietly, sitting back as he shakes his head at the shrill alarm. “If I hear that noise one more time, I might lose it.”

You can’t help the laugh that emits from you as you reach to silence the screaming. It comes to an abrupt halt, the sound of cafe ambiance resuming in your ears. No matter how much you love working here, you could really use some peace and quiet. “I better head back.” You groan. “But, I really would like to see that theatre.”

“I’m going there tonight, if you want to come with me.” He offers, finishing off the last of his americano before he sets it to the side, resting his arms on the table which ultimately causes him to lean closer to you. Don't do anything stupid, Y/n.

“Not only is it a theatre, but it’s also going to be used for parties and nightlife. So, I have to draw the view from the top of the theatre too. You should come see it.”

You give him a smile, humming in agreement before you lift your own mug to your lips. Maybe you could go a minute or two overtime?

Your eyes wander to the window again, but you can see Taehyung still looking at you in your peripheral vision. You’re trying to focus on the flurries cascading down outside, but the only thing you can see is Taehyung's eyes glued onto you. You finally look back at him, meeting his stare with flushed cheekbones. His eyes are deep, soft as they look at you. That something dances in them…

“What?” You question.

“It’s nothing.” He responds.

You haven’t been able to talk to your family for a while. In all honesty, you would like to say it was because of your busy schedule, but you knew it was more than that. The arts were not exactly the profession that your parents were hoping you would choose… this being the reason why your father barely contacts you. It was considered “digging yourself into a hole.” You had argued with him, again and again, trying to prove that you could be successful in this field. That you would be different. That this was meant for you. You had never been able to see his side of the story…

Until this moment. The moment you opened the email.

“Dear Y/n.

We hope you are doing well this Tuesday evening. We want to express how thankful we are that you considered auditioning for our show, and we are happy to say that the overflow of interest was something that took us completely by surprise.

Because of this, we had many people to choose from in regards to casting. Thus being the reason why we have reached out to you tonight.

We are sorry to say this, but we unfortunately do not have a role that is right for you in this production.

We encourage you to audition with us again, and we will keep your name in our files. Thank you for taking the time to audition and go through this process.

Dionysus Theatre Company.”

You take a shaky breath, exhaling it in disbelief.

There it is. Yet again. Yet another failure.

It feels as if a weight is being dropped onto your heart, the ends of your fingers tingling as you scroll with your mouse further down the page. A part of you hopes this is a joke. That somewhere in this email they are saying “Congratulations! We want you!” But as you stare at the words on the screen, every part of you feels unwanted in every possible way. Never chosen. Always last. Never successful.

You should be used to this by now, shouldn’t you?

You scoff, slamming your laptop closed and throwing it to the side of your bed. So, this is what wishful thinking grants you. Another “thank you for trying” pity letter that makes you want to chuck your computer out your 15th story apartment window.

You seriously thought you had it this time… that this was the audition that was going to end your long list of rejections. Why did you think that? What talent do you have?

Especially after how long you’ve walked these streets. How long you’ve been here without success. No matter how badly you wished you wouldn’t, you couldn’t help but beat yourself up for your failures. It was too common to just brush off of your shoulder. It’s happened one too many times, and the anger and jealousy eats at you like a tiger starved within this concrete jungle. Ripping you apart and discarding you on the forest floor for the bugs.

As soon as you feel the stinging sensation prying the back of your eyes, signaling that you were close to ugly crying into your “I ❤️ NYC” pillow, your phone vibrates beside you. It takes a moment to see the name, your tears making your eyesight boggly and blurry.

Kim Taehyung.

You almost don’t answer, but your sour heart is hoping that maybe he would comfort you through this news. Maybe he would be there for you when everyone else was turned away. Maybe he would give you reasons as to why you should keep going. But, then again, the feeling of burden strikes once more. Still, you answer anyway.

“Hello?” You wince at the tremor in your voice.

“Hey! I’m at the theatre right now if you want to head this way, they’ve even made us some snacks!” He cheers over the phone, the enthusiasm in his voice oblivious to the not so cheery news you’ve just received. Voices are booming in the background, nearly drowning out his voice— you strain to hear the comfort you always feel upon hearing him.

“I-“ You pause for a moment, taking in another shaky breath to loosen the constriction of your throat. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. “I’m sorry, Taehyung," You nearly sob while saying his name, "I don’t know if I’ll be able to go.”

There’s a pause. Then, “Y/n, are you okay?”

Though he can't see the movement through the phone held to your ear, you shake your head— closing your eyes as two tears come streaming down your cheek, racing eachother to the bottom of your chin. It’s like your mouth and your gut are playing tug o’ war with your heart. Your mouth wants to spill everything to the man who waits patiently on the line, while your gut wants to pull it down so deep that it can never escape you.

You totally were not okay. Yet, a “yeah, I’m okay” is what you voice to the silence of your phone call.

“You’re not okay, Y/N… I can tell.” He speaks softly, the background noise from his end fading. As if he was walking into another room for privacy. “What’s going on, ba—“ A pause, “... uh, back at the cafe you were okay… did something happen?”

You don’t notice the break in his sentence— all you can hear is the voices in your head chanting: unworthy, not enough, never enough.

“I just… It’s not that big of a deal.” You whisper.

“Come.” The desperation in his voice is clear, the sound of a door shutting behind him until the only thing that you can hear is the gentle exhales of his breath reaching you through the phone. “Come to the theatre, okay?”

“Taehyung-“

“Please.” He insists. “Just come.”

Tears are still threatening your eyes, swimming in the remnants of the email that seemed to crash upon you like a wave of regret and disappointment. You’re drowning. And it seems that the only life preserver that you have is the man who invited you to the theatre which you are currently standing in front of.

Kim’s Theatre.

You find it funny that the name fits with Taehyung. As if it was his theatre that you were visiting, and not the one he was merely drawing for an article. The exterior even suits his taste: a brown awning falling above you as the walls are a rustic grey. It’s always interesting to see a theatre have such a bland exterior, while all the glimmer is ready to shine within as soon as the curtain opens.

The pain blooms in your chest like you have been wounded again. No matter how badly you’ve been wronged by these exact buildings.. you couldn’t help but see the magic in them.

It’s pathetic, really.

Huffing out a breath, which ultimately turns to mist in the air, you tug the ends of your red jacket tighter around you. It seems like the temperature has dropped ten degrees since you left your apartment. This is a good thing, you think. Now you’ll be too worried about the chilly air to notice your threatening tears. Maybe Taehyung won’t be able to notice either.

That’s right, you’ve almost forgotten why you were here in the first place: to support Taehyung and his project.

With quick steps, you make your way inside— which is decked out with red carpet and golden wall decor, every inch of it the theatre that you’ve dreamed of. The pillars within were covered in aureate patterns, tracing up and blooming across the ceiling in all directions. It was beautiful, in every way. You nearly forget how to breathe. You also nearly forget the email that sits in your inbox, a dull reminder of your failure to be on this level of theatrics.

Making your way through a couple spurts of people, you notice them chatting about the theatre, the food, the scenery, the area that the theatre is in. There’s also news reporters and photographers on the side, discussing with who you assume is the theatre owner. He’s a tall man, long and lean as he towers above the press in a suit that makes him look ten times richer than the city itself. Despite this, he has a friendly stature to him, clapping a neighboring reporter on the shoulder as they laugh over something you’re too far away to hear.

It’s within this crowd of reporters that you spot Taehyung, standing at the side with attentive eyes and his hands scribbling down on a notebook with a rustic leather covering… very Taehyung. You take a moment to admire him, focusing on the way he licks his lips at new information, glancing back down at the notebook and filling its empty pages with what you assume would be art and scribbled notes.

If there was one thing you’ve learned about Taehyung over the course of knowing him, it’s that he’s very observant. He also has an excellent memory. He knows you like the back of his hand even though he’s only been your friend for a month or so…

You like that about him.

It only takes a few moments before you find him looking back at you, his focused expression crumbling down like a fragile ruin when you offer a small smile. Glancing between you and the theatre owner, he takes a step in your direction. It’s almost comical how much this looks like a scene from a movie, where the lead is trying to get to the other but an invisible chain is stopping them from crossing the road. The so-called “chain”, in this situation, was Taehyung's job. This being the reason why you shook your head, smile still present on your lips before you mouthed “it’s okay” in an attempt to stop him.

Taehyungs looking at you in defeat, holding up a finger as he writes down yet another remark from the owner that must’ve caught his journalist ears. It was nice to know that he was keen on seeing you, the notion making your heart the tiniest bit warmer after being dragged in the snow. As if his desperation during your phone call wasn’t evidence enough of his longing to see you again. To be there for you. Maybe you were just in denial of the fact that someone cared about you in such a way.

Speaking of that “someone”, Taehyung has met your eyes again, only this time he’s signaling with a nod towards the left side of the building. You turn your head, attempting to see what he’s nodding towards.

At last, you find it. A sign that reads:

“ROOF ACCESS!”

A quiet hush has fallen over the city that "never sleeps" below you, painted with snow that glistens from the billboard lights. It's funny that the one time this city seems to be dead is the one time you wish it were deafening. If it were loud, you wouldn't be able to overthink. Funny. The city seems to be mocking you, letting you relish in the silence in an attempt to make you more miserable than you already are. Truthfully, the more valid reason for the silence was probably due to being so high up, the people below you racing like tiny ants along the sidewalks.

You've never been one for heights, but the rooftop is decked out in tables, cozy sofas, and chairs— which you find the slightest bit more comforting. A cute aura that engulfs the area distracts you from the drop over the edge. The theme is entirely different from the inside, almost like a quaint hang-out hot spot in a small town near the water. Beanbag chairs are littered around; candles smell of fresh lilac; a small bar stands in the corner with a dance floor and an area to play games. Almost like the theatre was the work, and the rooftop was the vacation.

On your way to said rooftop, someone had offered you a beer, which you gladly received (and partly chugged) on the last flight of stairs. For a second, you forgot you weren’t a beer drinker. The taste of the alcohol nearly had you gagging by the time you reached the top step. Despite this, the sting in the back of your throat still couldn’t kick out the stinging of your eyes… swollen with unshed tears that pleaded to be released.

You can’t believe they turned you down… especially after how proud you felt after sending in that audition tape. The way you had bragged to Jimin about your audition tape is now haunting you more than you thought it would. You sincerely thought you had it this time. You believed in yourself. You were confident. Yet, you were full of shit.

Why did you even think you could get in?

Do you know how many people are a thousand times better than you? A lot of people.

Untalented. Unworthy. Unwanted.

The night air is tugging at the tears lurking behind your eyes, threatening them to fall as you sit with your legs curled on the petite sofa, facing out towards the city. It seems as if you are only a mere speck within this place— a small flashlight with dying batteries in a spectacular light show, never shining bright enough to be noticed. You hold your breath, stopping the waterworks from slipping down as a group of people disrupt the peaceful streets with hoots and hollers. They sound happy, much to your annoyance.

Playing with a string that has popped loose from your jacket, you twirl the red river around your finger. Jimin bought you this jacket as a housewarming gift when you had first moved in. He had said that he thought you "needed to look as fancy as your view was," thus why you needed a fancy red jacket.

Where was Jimin when you needed him?

[To: Jimin ☕️] hey jimin. are you free tomorrow?

The message sits in the blue box of sorrow… and you can’t help but feel bad for texting him so late in the evening. So much for not forcing your problems onto others. He probably doesn’t want to hang out with you… who would?

Ding!

[From: Jimin ☕️] Y/N!!!!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?? I was wondering why you haven’t texted me all day… Yes, let’s get together! How about some lunch at Olio e Píu?

The smallest of smiles drag onto your lips.

[To: Jimin ☕️] done. see you at 1!

Below you, a woman's shrill voice distracts you before you can type anything else-- your blue bubble of sorrow sitting peacefully on the screen. She's walking— though it seems like running— with a group of friends on her heels towards the Music Box Theatre.

“C’mon!” She calls, tugging her friends with her. “We’ll be late and we need to see Jordan Fisher as Evan Hansen or I swear I will lose my mind.”

They're going to see Dear Evan Hansen. You remember when you first visited here, all fresh excitement and bright eyes looking towards your future. You had dragged your parents to go see Wicked the minute you stepped foot in this city. You’ll never forget the feeling of walking down these streets you’ve dreamed of, the marquee standing above you like a crown waiting to be placed on your head.

If it weren't for the circumstances, you would be excited for them— but seeing them so excited on their way to a show left a bitter taste on your tongue. And this time, it wasn't the alcohol. You're jealous. You wish you could share a bit of that excitement in a moment like this. A moment when it seems as if no one will feel that eager to see you on stage.

You’ll never succeed. Stop trying. All you’ve done is fail, fail, fail— what makes you think the future will be any different?

With a deep breath, you tuck your head into your hands, gripping at the sides of your forehead in an attempt to make the overthinking stop. Overthinking has always been a bad habit of yours, even when you were little. During attendance, you would say "here" and end up replaying the way you sounded over and over again in your head, wishing you had spoken differently. This habit seemed to stop once Taehyung was in your life, just for a little while. Now, it's back and more prominent than ever.

Go back home. You don’t deserve to be in this city if you’re just going to waste your money on hopeless dreams. No one wants you. Even Tae-

“Y/n?”

You nearly jump out of your skin at the low timbre of his voice, turning to see Taehyung standing in the doorway of the rooftop. Those thoughts snake away from your mind at the sight of him, and all you see is the look of pure adoration in his eyes. He has his journal tucked under his arm, a warm brown jacket hugging his body, and a smile playing on the sides of his lips.

“Sorry,” He apologizes, making his way across the jute rug to stand beside the sofa. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No... no, you didn’t.” You paint a smile on your face, hoping that your eyes aren’t red-rimmed and praying that he wouldn’t notice how close to the edge of despair you were. You’re here for him. For his art. Not to have a pity party. “Who was that man you were talking with?”

He smiles, maneuvering around to sit beside you on the couch. Your heart skips without meaning to. “Kim Namjoon! He’s the theatre owner.” Taehyung replies, moving his journal to rest on his lap.

There's a moment of silence when you nod, glancing back at the view in front of you. Skyscrapers along the horizon, lights dancing in the night, cars making their way to unforeseen destinations. Every fiber of your being wanted to vent to him about everything. You wanted to cry on his shoulder-- have him hold you for a little while and tell you everything was going to be okay. For now, in Taehyung's presence, you can breathe in silence. That was enough for you.

But apparently, not for Taehyung.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened, or are you going to bottle it up and let it eat you alive?" He questions beside you, his brindled eyes never leaving the street below. He must know that you're holding back. He seems to know you like you're an open book, catching you off guard every time he reads between the lines and barrels you with extreme accuracy. It’s pleasantly surprising to feel understood… especially with someone like Taehyung. Someone sweet and giving, never asking for anything in return. Because of this, you have to remind yourself of why you’re even here.

“Tonight isn’t about me.” You pipe, shifting to face him and point towards his abandoned journal with a fake smile. “You need to get to drawing! Tell me what you learned. Can I look? I’m gonna look.”

Without a second thought, you’re reaching for his journal and dragging it to your lap, attempting to open the front in a rushed daze of distraction, anything to shift the focus from yourself onto him. “Let’s see what you’ve come up with so far.”

He’s quicker than you, stopping your hands from prying further by catching your wrists within his palms. You freeze, looking up at him and meeting his concerned expression. His hands are warm, fingers grazing along the inside of your wrist and sending an uninvited shiver down your spine. Now is not the time to be freaking out over him touching you, okay? You’re being invasive.

"Sorry." You rasp, attempting to remove your hands from his journal, but he doesn't let go. Amidst a pause, you meet his eye with all the timidness in the world. He's watching you, turning his hands so that they're holding yours, gentle and delicate. Like a warm hot chocolate after playing in the snow.

"I left my sketchbook downstairs." He starts, rubbing gently atop the backs of your hands with his thumbs. Those deep chocolate eyes haven't left your own, and you're starting to feel the lump in your throat grow larger. Every part of Taehyung is beckoning you to open up, comforting and consoling your weakened spirit. "You can talk to me, Y/n… What happened?"

The dam is breaking. Pieces of the concrete wall you've built around yourself are crackling, breaking off, and falling to the ground in a heap of jumbled rock. You feel exposed, in a way, Taehyung's eyes imploring you to tell him everything you're feeling. You've always kept the door to your feelings regarding failure locked-- until him.  And now, you are facing the vulnerability of having the door jammed open by someone other than yourself.

Despite the discomfort, it was a good feeling.

Finally, you feel the last remnants of that concrete wall crumble in the form of a tear sliding down your cheek.

“I failed.” A whisper, a murmur that sinks into the silent rooftop and buzzes in the air. The tear has fallen onto his journal, seeping through the leather covering. “I failed the Dionysus Theatre audition.”

Taehyung is quiet, releasing a breath as his mouth falls slightly open at this new information. You can see his brows furrow in your peripheral vision, a shake of his head so small that you barely register it’s movement. “How do you know you failed?”

“They didn’t want me.” You shrug.

“That’s ridiculous.” Taehyung looks confused as he taps your hand to get your attention. “That’s not failing, Y/N. That’s just one door closing so another can open.”

“I haven’t seen a single door open, Tae.” Your voice is rich with exhaustion, yet the words spill out like lightning. “All of them keep closing, no matter how hard I try. Every single one. What if there just isn’t a door for me? That happens too. Not everyone succeeds, Taehyung.”

He lets out a breath, gathering your hands tighter within his grasp. “Yes, but you’re not like everyone. You’re insanely talented.”

You stare at him, not amused. “You’ve never heard me sing.”

Taehyung seems to stop at this, inhaling quietly as if you’ve just unveiled a deep secret of his. You feel his finger twitch in nervousness before he speaks again. “Jimin showed me a video.”

Sincerely, you don’t remember Jimin filming you during a performance before. Maybe he filmed you at your house when you randomly started spurting out lyrics in the middle of dinner? Jimin does tend to use his phone a lot for pictures when he’s out among friends… maybe he takes videos too? You haven’t sung randomly in such a long time… since anytime you opened your mouth it was met with defeat. The only moment you can think of him possibly recording was at one of your performances in Rockwood Music Hall, but you don’t remember seeing him film you. Even if he did, why would he keep that a secret?

Still, that was the least of your worries at this moment. Taehyungs heard you sing. So what.

You release a breath. “Still. If I was talented, I would’ve succeeded a long time ago.”

“That’s not true.” His tone is matter of fact. “Everyone’s paths are different, Y/N. For some, it takes a year. For others, it takes ten. You just have to believe in yourself and keep going.”

You don’t know how to tell him that you’d lost belief in yourself a long time ago, and now that sliver of hope you’d felt after sending in your audition tape was fully disintegrated. A mere pile of ashes on the ground.

“That’s the thing, Tae…” Tears are forming once more as you glance at him, shaking your head slowly. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

The only sound heard is the faint honking on the streets, distant sounds of music within neighboring buildings, and the breathing of Taehyung sitting beside you. He is obviously at a loss of words, his brows knitted and eyes downcast to your joined hands. There’s a few moments where you think he’ll speak again, particularly when his mouth opens and closes around words unspoken. But he doesn’t say anything.

Maybe he’s run out of inspiring words to help you. In all honesty, you were probably a lost cause.

“I just…” You begin, removing your hands from his grasp, “I feel like I’ve lost everything. I feel like I can’t stay here and fulfill what I want to fulfill while so much money is being taken from my pockets in my stay here.” He looks back towards you, listening quietly. “Sometimes, dreams just don’t come true… Haven’t you felt like you lost everything before?”

The expression on his face changes, a sorrowful look painting his features as he looks at you with hazy eyes.

“Yes. I have.” He pauses, confidence faltering before he makes the decision to speak again. “Can I tell you?”

If it were anyone else, you might’ve thought that they were trying to make this conversation about themself. But this was Taehyung. Sweet, giving, kind Taehyung who has helped you through so much already. He’s always been here for you since you met him… always willing to bring a smile and a hand to hold. So, who were you to not do the same for him? Knowing this, you nod.

"I lost someone." He says quietly, rubbing his hands against his dark brown dress pants. "Someone who meant everything to me. She was kind, funny. Actually, she enjoyed theatre like you do." He smiles at the memory as he stares out towards the city, your own heart wavering at the remnants of this woman who meant so much to him. He lost her. Life could be so cruel.

"She was the reason I wanted to become a journalist," he continues, "so the moment she became successful, I could write about it and draw her, and she would be on the front page of every magazine. She deserved to be remembered."

You admire his idea… You also admire how devoted he must have been to her. A part of you wonders what that might’ve been like— being his. You know she was a lucky woman..

With a soft smile, he continues.

"I was in love with her. In every way, honestly.” When he looks up towards the sky, he huffs out a breath that dances in the winter air. The stars are hard to see in the city due to the shining lights of the billboards, but they were shining so brightly in his eyes. “A little over a year ago, she was about to achieve everything that she ever wanted.”

He pauses.

“But she died before she could experience it."

She died…

The rooftop is so quiet that he could probably hear the crack of your heart, your own hand slowly finding its way back into his. Here you were crying over a failed audition when Taehyung has suffered more than you ever have throughout your career. You can't believe he's never said anything.

“Tae... God, I am so sorry.” You voice genuinely, squeezing his hand in an attempt to be reassuring. “I had no idea.”

He looks to you again, a small smile playing on the edges of his lips. “Well, that’s because I never told you… how could you know?”

Deep down, you feel comforted by the fact that he is willing to share such a vulnerable topic with you. Especially an issue like this-- which may even be haunting him to this very day. It was also something he probably hasn't talked about with many people; you even doubted that Jimin knew. So, your heart seems to grow warmer at the notion of his trust, a tiny glint of happiness spreading across your chest. Yet, despite this, you can see the sheer sorrow in his eyes as he talks about her. You hope you're never the cause of his current expression. Sweet Taehyung...

"It sounds like she was a wonderful person." You attempt to comfort him. The words cause a change in his expression. A look of affection.

"She is."

You admire the way he speaks as if she were still here, rather than making it sound as if he's lost her completely. You know this is probably not the case. When you love someone that much, you suppose that they are with you even after they're gone. If Taehyung had suddenly disappeared, he would still be living in the corner of your heart, probably doodling little creations and tugging at your heartstrings like he's done many times before.

"Thank you for telling me." You whisper, your movements mirroring his own when you brush the top of his hand with your thumb. He's soft, warm, and comforting under your touch. Honestly, this might be the first time you’ve voluntarily touched a boy like this. Does he think this is weird?

"Thank you for listening." It's within his eyes that you find your answer.

He doesn't seem to mind at all.

“The point I was trying to make…” He’s looking at you fondly. “Is that no matter how hard life can get… even when you lose everything— you have to keep going. You have to believe that things will look up. And when you fail, you have to try again. Even if it means going back to the start.. You have to make things right.”

You nod silently. For a moment, you're not sure if Taehyung is still talking about your situation. But he was still correct. Things will look up, and this will pass, just like all of the other hardships you've had in your life. You're too far in to give up now. If Taehyung was able to move past his misfortunes, why couldn't you?

Maybe because you weren't sure how to.

“When did things start looking up for you?” You question, tilting your head slightly.

The silence between you seems to thicken as he ponders your question; his eyes never deserting yours. You wonder if maybe you went too far... that perhaps this was too difficult of a subject for him. You have the strange need to know everything about him; for you, the line you weren't allowed to cross is barely visible-- and for him, it seems that he's feeling the same way as his eyes flicker between your eyes and lips.

“The moment I met you.” He finalizes.

Oh.

Your heartbeat quickens, a thundering feeling that beats your chest like a drum as you try to collect yourself. Without realizing it, you're searching for any form of mockery or sarcasm… but you're met with none. Only sincerity dances within his coffee-colored eyes, waking your senses more than a four-shot of espresso would. Did he just say that? Did Taehyung really just say you were the reason his life got better? No way.

Within seconds, his hand is slowly rising up the side of your face.

Yep, he definitely said that.

Soft pads of his fingers travel to your hairline, pushing a strand behind your ear before he gently lowers his hand to the back of your neck. His eyes are so, so intense with an expression that causes a shiver to shoot up your spine… something you’ve never seen before, yet something so familiar. You feel frozen— the majority of your heart wanting to pull him closer, while the minority wants to push him away.

Still, you allow him to lean the slightest bit closer, your breathing restricted due to how close he is to you. He could lean forward the slightest bit and be delved into you in seconds… your heart palpitates.

It’s with a desperate pull on your neck that his lips, which have been increasingly closing the distance between you, finally reach your own. He’s quick to the point, the gap between you completely disappearing as he grasps the back of your neck like a lifeline and melts into you.

His lips are soft and full, molding into your own with ease and sincerity. Like a long journey finally meeting its destination. When you feel him breathe out, the warmth of the air tickling your cheeks, you take a moment to enjoy this. You've never been kissed before... never felt the way his hand travels from your neck to your face, holding you there with a ghosting touch that melts into your bones like hot lava. Never felt the way his eyelashes brush against your cheekbones when he dips lower to take your bottom lip between his.

The enjoyment doesn't last long, however, when the burning fact that you've never kissed anyone before shatters your confidence. What the hell is happening? Why is he kissing you? You don't even know how to kiss! You’re sitting here like a dead fish… God, what do you do? In all honesty… you can’t taste that great after that beer you nearly vomited up the stairs.

Taehyung doesn't seem to mind, caressing his lips upon your own with a force so gentle yet so firm that it's like he's been starving for you… for a long time. Genuinely, you can't say you haven't daydreamed about this moment with him. But now that it's actually happening... It feels strange for an unknown reason. With the passion that you feel through his efforts, it's as if he's trying to confess something without words.

And the strange part is that you don’t understand his confession.

His lips part, tongue tracing your lower lip in a way that makes your toes curl but is much more advanced than anything you could offer. And just like that, you’re pulling away from him. You can feel the wind chill over your wetted lips, proof of the fact that he kissed you.

Taehyung kissed you.

And why did you pull away?

In all honesty, you believed he just thought of you as a friend... When did it become more than that? Are you dreaming? Maybe you are. You have no idea what to do with yourself when his eyes flutter open slowly, a shade of hurt overlaying his brown optics.

His eyes widen as he seems to register what he just did. Almost like something had taken over him for a subconscious moment, and now he’s turned into a lost child. He swallows, looking at you in an apparent search of your reaction… but you can’t move. You don’t know what to think. Let alone feel. What the hell was that?

He obviously notices your horrified state. “Y/n… I’m sorry, I—“ The words leave those lips in a whisper as he blinks rapidly.

Without another word, you boost yourself off of the couch, mutter an “I have to go,” and the last thing you register in the chill of the night air is the warmth of his hand slipping from your own. He’s calling your name as you round the entrance to the stairwell. If you could go back, you would. If you had the courage, and the knowledge, you would turn around, take his face within your palms, and kiss him back. But all of the events from today prove to you just how much of a coward you really are.

What's worst of all, is that the whole situation brings on an intense feeling…

A feeling you haven’t felt in a long time:

Extreme deja vu.

chapter 3

#fic: it’s definitely you #faes fanfics #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung fic #kim taehyung #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x oc #taehyung imagine #taehyung fanfics #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung fanfic #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #taehyung x y/n #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts x y/n #bts x you #bts x oc

[jeonfiles]

♡ . . . masterlist

© jeonfiles - all rights reserved. do not use repost, revamp, translate or take credit for my work without my permission.

last updated march 27th 2023

all of my work is purely fictional and does not represent bts in real life, it is only meant for entertainment purposes.

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♡ . . . he admired you from a distance. everyone did. you're serene, words dance like ballerinas of your tongue, stars aligning when you laugh, the wind was made to sway with your hair, you were just too good for the world, and you would never know his name.

read here . . .

#masterlist #bts masterpost #bts masterlist #bts x oc #bts x reader

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 3 TEASER

RELEASED: READ HERE

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: brief mention of character death, PDA at an airport but it’s really sweet so it’s okay, no huge warning for this chapter! but it is a pretty important one… youll see…

→ word count: 238 (for teaser)

-> tag list: @monvante @moonchild1 @procrastination-queenie @hobipaint @jeonfiles @surilirani @dopedreamfireparty @vantezza @hantaev @audstylesgirl

please send in an ask if you like to be added to the tag list !!

also, if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you 🤍

It was working for a moment, taking the heavy ache of your heart away for a moment before your head sunk back into the couch, drowsiness overtaking you. Then in a few moments, you were fast asleep.

You're dreaming.

The woosh of trees are blurring past you as the vent in the car throws cool air on your face. You feel content, the speed of the vehicle and the soft rain falling against the windshield lulling you to a dreamy state. You take a moment to look at the song's name on the radio, which whispers all around you like a soft-spoken secret. "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron. You smile, soft and sweet, as a warm hand gently rubs atop your thigh with a feather-like touch.

You look to the side, met with Taehyung's side profile, his own hair being tousled by the air. He's wearing a small smile, rubbing against your skin so softly as he sings quietly along with the music, his voice hypnotizing and gentle, pulling you even further into complete bliss. You admire the way his head tilts when he looks at a highway sign, navigating his way through the busy roads at a pace that feels slower than the speed limit.

He doesn't want you to go just yet.

Your eyes fall back onto the horizon, seeing your exit up ahead as Taehyung sighs at the sight.

“Exit 7, Laguardia Airport.”

coming soon…

#taehyung x reader #bts x reader #bts #taehyung #taehyung x oc #taehyung x y/n #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung #taehyung imagine #taehyung fic #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung smut #bangtanarmynet #fic: it’s definitely you #faes fanfics

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 2 (CHAPTER TEASER)

release date: Saturday, June 19th

RELEASED! READ HERE

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: self deprecation, negative thoughts, intense talk of failure and giving up... there may or may not be a kiss... be aware.

→ word count: 882 (teaser only)

tag list: @monvante @moonchild1 @procrastination-queenie @hobipaint @jeonfiles @surilirani @dopedreamfireparty @koyalov

please send in an ask, or dm me privately, if you like to be added to the tag list !!

Eventually, you had decided to look past your nerves and accept his offer to hang out later. What could possibly go wrong? He’s a friend, and friends spend time together and hang out. No strings attached. It’s not like this is a date, aka the first date you’ve ever been on. No way is it a date. Despite this fact, you couldn’t keep the butterflies from flapping their wings against your stomach. Taehyung wanted to hang out with you. Probably the hottest guy you’ve ever met wants to hang out with you.

Calm down, Y/n. Calm down.

Whilst doing your makeup, you figure you probably wouldn’t need much blush, seeing as you were already blazing and you haven’t even left the house yet.

This isn’t a date, Y/n.

This is precisely why you’ve chosen to dress casually; a white knit sweater that buttons down the front, dark grey skinny jeans, brown winter boots, and a pullover brown jacket that has fluff around its hood. You deny the fact that you’ve chosen brown because he’d mentioned it was his favorite color. A part of you thinks he’ll notice, but it’s too late to change now as you hear a delicate knock on your apartment door, your mascara nearly blinding you when your hand bounces as you apply it.

“Coming!” You call, checking your appearance in the mirror and straightening out your shirt. You’ve curled your hair, soft beach waves that fall just above your rib cage like a dangling curtain. Two clips pull both sides of your hair back, strands framing your face as the rest falls down your back. You feel pretty. With a quick smile at a job well done, you stride over to the door and open it carefully.

As soon as Taehyung comes into view, your breath gets knocked out of you… Well damn-- you were definitely underdressed. A long, soft brown jacket reaches all the way to below his knees, covering a fully black outfit beneath. Yes, he’s wearing dress pants and dress shoes.

You’re screwed.

In two ways, actually. You were screwed because one you were not expecting this to be a fancy outing, and two because he looked so good that you weren’t sure if the loud pounding was your heart, or the man down the hallway knocking on someone’s door. Probably both. Whatever it was, the pounding only grew louder when he took a small step forward, sending a spiral of butterflies to your stomach. No matter how badly you didn’t want to admit it, Taehyung made you nervous. This much was clear from the clamming of your hands and the way you hold your breath when he looks at you. Get it together.

“Hi.” He greets you quietly, flashing a small smile as he glances down at your appearance. He does this so quickly that it’s almost unnoticeable, but you’re still able to detect it, causing immediate embarrassment to take over.

“See... If you had told me where we were going I wouldn’t be so underdressed like I am.” You profess, eyeing him wearily as a smirk breaks onto his face. He turns his head slightly, attempting to avoid showing you his growing smile. “Are you laughing?”

“No.” He lies weakly.

You would be frustrated if it weren’t for the laugh that escapes his mouth, low and soft, like the thunder before a storm. The sound draws a smile out of you, forming on your own lips. The power he has over you is ridiculous. “I’m happy that my lack of fashion sense and knowledge is funny to you.”

“I’m sorry,” He apologizes, stuffing his hands within the pockets of his coat. Despite the fact that he was laughing at you, a part of you hoped that he would smile like this forever. That he would show that boxy smile of his, which he made light of at the party, but it completely took all the breath in your lungs away. His happiness was infectious, and you were increasingly becoming aware of this fact. You hope he’d smile like that again. You hope that you could be the source of that smile. That he would be happy with you. He was perfect.

“You look perfect, Y/n.”

It feels as if the exchange becomes frozen, the two of you looking at each other after his confession like he has said something absolutely ridiculous. Truth be told, he did say something ridiculous— because, to you, you were far from perfect... in every way.

“Perfect as in-“ he clears his throat, releasing a hand from his pocket and ushering you out of the doorway. “As in, perfect for the occasion. As in, you’re not overdressed. Perfect.” The stumble of his words makes your heart skip, his warm hand wrapped around your lower arm as he turns you in an attempt to lock the door. “Now, c’mon, we’ll be late!”

If you thought you couldn’t contain your smile before, that was nothing compared to your smile now. You can’t remember the last time you felt giddy… the last time you felt like you couldn’t contain your joy. Biting your lip in an attempt to hide your grin, you lock the door quickly and walk ahead of him down the hallway— his footsteps falling quickly behind.

coming next saturday…

#faes fanfics #fic: it’s definitely you #bts x reader #taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung fics #taehyung x oc #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung imagine #taehyung imagines #bts x oc #bts x you #bts x y/n

[swcetnight]

dear “it’s definitely you” readers!!

hello my lovely people 🥺🤍 so, just a fair warning, i’m going to be taking a break from writing IDY for the next few weeks, so i apologize for the delay of Chapter 4!! i’m going to be going out of town and won’t have enough time to write this next chapter! also, what this chapter is about HAPPENS to also be what i’m doing this next week and… i don’t want what happens to oc to happen to me 😂 so we’re just gonna… not bring that into existence and take a break 😂 (hard to explain, but trust me)

thank you for the endless support!!! chapter 4 will hopefully be released near the middle or end of next month! 🤍

IDY tag list: @monvante @moonchild1 @procrastination-queenie @hobipaint @jeonfiles @surilirani @dopedreamfireparty @vantezza @hantaev @audstylesgirl

#fic: it’s definitely you #taehyung x reader #bts x reader