"Jeremy Clarkson with his Range Rover" ♥︎ painting by me.
You know, one of my biggest wishes is to visit the Diddly Squat Farm Shop, buy anything which makes me happy and leave my Grand Tour comic and art book and paintings of mine there! But I know that won't happen, and so instead I've drawn a picture of Jezza at his farm.
Of all the cars he has driven (and in this case even owned), I think his Range Rover might be one of my favourites! *✦.° ★
I hope you like it. ~♡
P.S.: Sorry for posting so rarely these days. I have finished this painting earlier, but didn't find the time to upload it. I am just going through a very difficult time in my life and I want to apologise to everyone who has sent me messages and I didn't reply yet. I will, when I finally find some time, promise!
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Notorious/Altruistic Day 5 - February 22 DWC
(Keeping it going as I desperately try to keep up with @daily writing challenge seems I'm gonna be a day behind though)
“You’re scowling again.” Nestor sings at me playfully.
I growl at the middle aged Elf dressed in the finery of a noble with an affinity for hues bright enough to make one’s eyes hurt. He was a riot of violet and sunset with waist long hair that was cuffed and beaded in artful chaos with a whole ear cuff and what he thought was a -scandalous- eyebrow hoop that he had clearly gotten when rebelling against his ‘upper city’ parents in his long ago youth.
The Director of the Crimson Curtain Nestor, having forsaken a surname but kept the fortune to ‘slum’ with the true life blood of the city. He was graying at the temples and I think after too many years being someone he wasn’t Nestor the Notorious Cabaret Lord of The Crimson was now unabashedly who he was. I almost hate him for that freedom, the way he could be himself without a care for what the world saw, love as he loved…
His Partner the Tauren Florist cast the Aging elf a warning glance for tripping my fuse while I was behind the bar given my tendency to break bottles when I gripped them too hard. I had taken a part time gig that I didn’t need to stop my clan from asking inconvenient questions, they wouldn’t accept that I just wanted to play in our band, that I felt at home somewhere at last… With Estibahn the cockiest Goblin bastard bassist… And my beautiful Rose.
I grunt and turn my back because I am scowling… because my Rose… who I remind myself is -not- mine is crooning a love song to one of the women in the crowd.
Nestor turns to what I’m -decidedly- not looking at as I wipe down the bar, “Our little star, It’s beautiful don’t you think Jezz? How the boy is so altruistic with his romance… his affections. That he still makes them all feel so desired, wanted but never crosses lines. Its a delicate little dance.”
“Isn’t that his -job-” I toss over my shoulder and I hate myself for it, my jealous stupid self pretending that I’m not wishing I was that bitch in the audience, with his hand cupping my chin singing into my lips while dressed in glittering costumes and jewels of teal, contrasting his perfect form against the overwhelming hues of sunset.
“Oh come on now Jezzy!” Nestor swats my arm and I whirl to look at where this elf had the nerve to -touch- me like it’s some sour fruit stuck to me even long after the playful swat had gone, “He’s not employed as a Gigolo though gods above I’m certain we’d make a fortune if he was. No this is charity. And it almost brings a tear to the eye.”
“Charity?” I scoff gripping tight to my bitterness as my turn forced me to see Trist lean to slip from the stage to straddle that woman’s chair with her in it, still singing like a siren as she gazes up at him with naked desire. Ancestors help me… He’s so different when they look at him like that… unashamed of their appreciation. I make myself finish hating myself… hating that I lash out and say the words I want to turn inward about the person who makes me feel alive, “You mean telling them pretty lies, being some fantasy for tips… its all a smoke show like everything here.”
Then Nestor’s words turned dark, hard, and cold, “But if you hurt him, Jezza. If you break my boy, You will always regret it. So stop -growling- and tell him how you feel before you let him slip away. Especially with Archstone -skulking- around again.”
The horror in my face and form has me locked in place, did this- did he know what that would mean!? He knows?! How!?
Nestor hopped off his stool and reopened his fan with a thwap and purred to his mate, “Now lets go get a closer look, shall me my beautiful bull?”
I watch them in abject awe and Palehoof dips an understanding nod my way, hand always lightly brushing Nestor’s lower back with the gentlest hands I’d ever seen. I’m too stunned to rage… how did they know?! I-
Have fallen in way too deep.
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Not the same anon, but I figure if Jezza thinks you're cool, that's good enough for me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
*points* BRITISH?
well anon i wouldn't go as far as jeremy thinking i'm cool. i think he thinks i'm amusing to annoy, and he likes my art. but cool? nah.
appreciate u tho <333
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Finally: some more cute art of these two! I have been a very neglectful parent ;v;
Sasha and Delilah need more love honestly. I should be commissioning more art of just these two, but these two usually bring out the pickiness in me (as I’m sure Miranda can tell you lol), so they aren’t drawn as often RIP.
Anyway, have some cute art of these two girls being gay by Miranda, who did a fantastic job! I love it a lot! It’s very, very cute!
Sasha Alvarez and Delilah Kalita belong to @onyx-archer (Me)
Art was done via commission by @thefrostedglass / @miranda-mundt-art
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The boys at Hogwarts (an idea from @wyvernchick doodle, your art is god) This is just for shit and giggles.
Jezza: hmm gave off that Ravenclaw vibes, like heavy af 'Claws. Knowledge for the sake of the knowledge itself rather than gain. But then again, he is defo a Hufflepuff. Guy's a hard worker and his loyalty is infamy. Got that Gryffindor streak. Would be your top student at Care of Magical Creatures, absolute shite at Potions. Unsurprisingly good at History but hate Binns with all rage of hellfire. A top tier DADA student, even if he hates moving around.
Hamster: major Gryffindor vibes. Like, Godric Gryffindor second-coming lmao. Would be a devotee of duelling club. DADA golden boy, even shittier at Potions than Jezza, top student with him in CoMC. Secretly have a Slytherin streak. Why? His vibe just scream that honestly (Andy compared him to Alan Sugar as business man and after a bit of googling, yeah) Surprisingly good at Transfiguration. He's defo a beater/seeker.
Bim: now, he is defo a Ravenclaw. That knowledge for the sake of knowledge is a very strong trait. BUT, heavy heavy Slytherin vibe (planning to get fired? Very Slytherin). Would be pretty good at Arithmancy but passion lay in Transfiguration. If he is an Animagus, no one knows. Good at Potions. History buff, would ignore Binns instead of ranting about it. God on Charms. Absolute shit at Herbology and this one is mystery tbh.
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UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE 2021/22, Episode 12
GASP! As any regular reader will know, I am extremely biased in favour of arts colleges, and the sight of a music college at the start of this week’s show caused my heart to double-time. Honestly, I haven’t been so excited since Courtauld’s magnificent run two seasons ago.
DUNDEE: 145
ROYAL NORTHERN COLLEGE OF MUSIC: 135
Team Vibe:
Dundee: a dinner party, with a Spotify playlist entitled Chilled Out Weirdness, featuring lots of mid-price wine, with polite goodbyes
Royal Northern College of Music: a dinner party, with a Spotify playlist entitled Weird Vocal Shit My Opera Teacher Won’t Like, featuring lots of mid-price wine, descending into the ad-hoc multi-person performance of Eight Songs for a Mad King with additional piano
Grandad Count: RNCM the slightly older with an average age of 24. Who cares! They’re MY PEOPLE.
Diversity Count: Not the worst, but not the best.
Style News: Dundee the clear winners here, bringing two bold images in the form of strawberry knitted tank top (Russell) and fishy – carp? – print shirt (Spurrell). RNCM, I expect more from you! Plain-coloured tops WILL NOT DO.
Cult Hero Of The Episode: I was dreadfully tense for this episode, because musicians (including one composer, Wills, who looked familiar, and two vocalists, my specialism) on UniChall is basically the same as me being on there. It was a shaky start, and it looked like the casually confident Dundee were going to punish them (I did like Captain Stonier’s unflappability), but minute by minute, RNCM clawed their way back. The last time I was so heartily shouty at the telly I was watching the Euros final. YES! Musicians CAN know stuff about pickled plums and Russian physicists! I’m giving it to all them, because though they were just pipped to the post, they might hopefully come back as a high-scoring loser.
Handsome Person of the Episode: Captain Chrisp was giving me Anya Taylor-Joy in The Queen’s Gambit vibes. But mmm, Carew. Except for the tattoo of some music on your arm (if this must be done I insist it must be in 5/8 and be serialist), you had me at ‘Sega Genesis?’.
Horror Bonus Round: (Jez, reading this in one breath, the timbre of his voice descending with increasing gloom): ‘Astrophysicists uses the abbreviation CDM for the universal material that is assumed to exist with little or zero relative velocity under the under the standard cosmological model. CDM stands for ‘Cold what?’
Regular Music Fail By Composition PhD-owning Composer, Kerry Andrew: ‘The X-Files!’ I yelled, in terror, after 1.234 seconds of the synth-based TV theme round, when I have watched all of Stranger Things (the correct answer) twice because I loved it so. ARGH! Wasn’t quick enough to get Bladerunner or Assault on Precinct 13, though did get Twin Peaks in a heartbeat, because we watched it after Girl Guides in 1990. Good God, I’m old. Props to Carew for getting the Beethoven piano question in no time at all.
Dream Bonus Question Round: 2/3 in the screenwriters round, 2/3 in the Women’s Prize for Fiction, 2/3 in the British coastal geography (’Scarbados!’ I shouted), 3 out of 4 in the John Le Carre film adaptions. Standard.
Jezza-Watch: It’s time for Let’s Guess What’s On Jezza’s Tie! What was it tonight? Owls? Snails? Answers welcome; I need to know.
‘Low temperature fusion?’ guessed Dundee’s Captain Stonier. ‘No, it was cold fusion,’ said Jez, stony-faced, in the manner of a terrifying 1970s headmaster from a children’s horror novel. ‘We asked for a two-word term and you gave a three-word term.’ ‘OK. Sorry,’ said Captain Stonier, meekly, bearing the brunt for all of us.
‘Who’d have thought time-wasting would be so useful?’ Jezzo said, after the gaming bonus round. Oh Jeremy, you don’t even BELIEVE in your own curmudgeon-li-ness. You’re not fooling anyone, you know...
Kerry and Andy’s Score: 25, with Andy doing the majority of the leg-work.
Brain Food: Hearty vegetable soup. WINTER IS COMING.
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