#joke's on him though because now that he knows about the dictionary i think he's caught up on all the dorky & interesting stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

intheshadowsbehindyou · 6 months

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Okay, got a weird one for ya~ So I have ASD, meaning I can sometimes react oddly to social things, or actions. One of these is that whenever I see seggs scenes in movies, I start laughing. Like seggs in movies, even if it’s not meant to be funny, is just HILARIOUS to me. Sometimes I even explain between laughter why it’s so hilarious, like “Oh my gods WHAT IS THAT NOISE??? MY GUY, you a tractor or some sh!t??? HA!”. Would you be willing to take a request for mercs having movie night, only for their crush to start wheezing and laughing so hard they can barely speak at the seggs scene in the movie?

The TF2 Mercs with somebody who thinks actors acting sex in movies is understandably hilarious

WARNING: sex!!!! (Funny)

Scout:

- Confused at first. Jeremy’s the type of person to taunt the characters and make clever quips during the whole movie to make you laugh. Nothing comes close to your laughter at this sex scene though. Suddenly he picks up on it and begins laughing too. Your reaction is kind of understandable. It seems to be a very forced and over the top performance.

- “Holyyy shit, I wanted to be an actor as a kid, but i’m not one for those frickin theater kid losers. Kinda glad I didn’t go through with it, now.” Typical scout acting like a highschool bully. You can tell he was the type of sportsy jock to shove nerds into lockers. He takes great pleasure in roasting the people on screen with you.

- Overall a solid 9/10 experience. One point taken away because he’s a massive prick and goes way too over the top with his cruel jokes sometimes. You have to lightly slap the side of his arm at one point because he’s somehow coming up with new slurs for hollywood goers that don’t even exist in the english dictionary to begin with.

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Soldier:

- Ayo?

- Lifts his helmet up and looks at you for a second. “What’s so funny, private?” He asks, and but of course you’re laughing so hard you fall onto his chest and cling to him. Your laughter is very much appreciated nonetheless. Seeing somebody he loves so happy is causing butterflies in his stomach. Even if he doesn’t quite understand it. Laughter is a beautiful and positive thing.

- He’s a very aged man, and surviving WW2 gave him a lot of life experience. Essentially convinced that sex jokes are somehow crude. But let’s be honest, this is soldier we’re talking about here. He never keeps his word and although he tries to keep a straight face, his younger self comes through and he has to let out an unholy burst of laughter in response to hearing the girl’s performance upon getting her titties gripped. Congrats on cracking his US Army General persona.

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Demoman:

- Too drunk to even process why you’re laughing for a spilt second but then it suddenly dawns on him you might be reacting this way because your brain chemistry is different than his. Demoman is more of an explosives chemist guy, but he’s somewhat taught that people act differently due to neurological function. Chemicals, brain shit, and whatever the hell else. He’s too tired to remember. He begins wondering what would happen if brain chemicals were flammable. That would be quite unfortunate. Fortunate for him though.

- You fall onto his lap laughing and that’s what knocks him out of his incoherent descent down the stupid idiot rabbit hole. He puts his hand in your hair and smiles warmly. Dazed, and barely even awake. He even chuckles a little with you despite his exhaustion. Movie nights always seem to get him tired because it’s usually at the end of a hard work day.

- “I can show you a time more embarrassin, tho. In the morning.” He flirts. Knowing full well he’ll have such a bad hang over, he won’t even consider getting his ass up to kiss you. You glare at him, and you wonder just how the hell a sex scene in a movie out of all things can get him horny. The look in his eye doesn’t lie though. Wow, he sets some pretty low standards for porn. Also, you’re really scared what he means by more embarrassing.

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Engineer:

- He looks away during the entire sex scene and that’s essentially what makes you laugh even harder. His southern upbringing is honestly borderline sad. The idea that he can be “impure” for witnessing such “sacred” acts. Even when somebody’s pretending for a movie. You make fun of him and he’s just sitting there grumpily shielding his eyes with his gloved hand. It’s not even an explicit scene.

- Suppressing something doesn’t help, and everybody knows that quite well. He looks between his fingers to see if the scene has ended yet. Maybe just a peak wouldn’t hurt? He’s an adult after all! ARGH! NO! He covers his eyes again… Okay maybe just another peak. He thinks your humor is just juvenile and there’s nothing wrong with that in his opinion. it’s always admirable when somebody decides to maintain their innocence. There is absolutely no judgment from him.

- Over time he gets more used to watching stuff like this with you, but he never laughs. He acts like a deer in headlights the entire time. Overall, if you act like the quote on quote “way you shouldn’t” then I assure you he’ll be understanding and keep an open mind.

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Heavy:

- Laughing at a sex scene? Eh. He doesn’t care what you laugh at or why. He finds plenty of stuff like that funny but ceases to laugh sometimes. He can laugh for certain, but for some reason there are moments where he doesn’t act accordingly and laugh at a joke. Perhaps you two are the same in that regard?

- Stares blankly at the screen the entire time despite finding hilarity in your response to the poor performance. He’s internally laughing on the inside but it just won’t come out of his mouth. As a result he’s kind of offended at his brain for failing him once again. You stop for a second and wonder if he’s annoyed, but then he turns and says “Sometimes Heavy laughs on the inside and he doesn’t know why.” His expression lacks emotion as always. “That’s fine.” You say, shrugging. This finally gets a response out of him and he looks to the ground and frowns.

- He feels frustrated and kind of guilty he can’t emote like he used to as a kid. This type of deadpan behavior moreso comes from his traumatic life. He’s unconsciously taught himself to stay stoic. Even when he’s supposed to be having fun with you. You lean on his arm to rest assure him you struggle with it differently. In verbose, he’s not mad at you. He becomes angry at himself.

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Pyro:

- You’re laughing so hard that they find your behavior adorable. They find you quite stunning in this moment and immediately hug you to fulfill that random need for physical contact. He can’t help it! You’re just so cute when you laugh! You’re like a small kitten to them. Fuck the stupid movie. Both their eyes are on you right now and they don’t want them to be anywhere else.

- They are baby talking you, and calling you petnames. This sudden shift in Pyro’s behavior makes you laugh more due to the absurdity of their cute aggression. Who the hell finds their crush laughing at a sex scene to be attractive? Apparently Pyro. Pyro’s not really one to pay attention during scenes like this anyway so they find it quite easy to do so. It’s always just pointless filler to appease the horny people. Not to mention sort of setting unrealistic expectations. (Yes, Pyro is smart enough to know this. They are smart enough to run a company, therefore smart enough to harshly critique the movie industry.)

- It is absolutely nothing but sunshine and rainbows to them when you’re happy. It’s lighting up the fiery flame in their heart to see you so satisfied. The scenes are absolutely embarrassing as shit and Pyro hates them, but they’d be glad to show you more bad movies and eat candy while basking in their favorite sound: your happiness. Everything is better with someone you love.

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Sniper:

- Um.. Is this guy even alive right now? Hellooooo? Sniper? He isn’t reacting to anything at all and you have no clue what’s happening behind those sunglasses of his. Why’s he wearing them inside, anyway? He claims it’s because the TV hurts his eyes but he’s so timid that, that has to be a lie. You’re laughing your ass off, meanwhile this guy’s brain is in outer space or some shit.

- In fact you get kind of concerned and stop laughing. “Mundy?” You ask. Your concern grows when he doesn’t move. Then his head sloooowly cocks to the side to look at you. There are some big exasperated/disappointed dad vibes coming from this man. “You can’t be serious, you actually find this funny?” He asks. He’s just messing with you of course and it’s obvious his behavior isn’t meant to be taken seriously.

- “Yeah!” You respond, laughing even more as he rubs his own temples and leans his face on his own hand. The way he’s responding like he’s in love with an idiot is kind of funny. Behind that rough exterior of his is somebody whose actually quite relieved you’re enjoying this in the first place. He often thinks his own company is quite boring.

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Medic:

- Actually immediately starts laughing too. He’s had sexual encounters before and knows how procreation works. (Not to mention the behavior of women.) Girls in movies like this are depicted as so two dimensional he knows full well the people who made this movie must’ve never spoken to an actual woman before. Reminder TF2 takes place in the late 60s so these are some very stupid ass corny romance films.

- He laughs so hard he actually starts coughing. Holy shit. How is this man not dying at this point? He’s screaming something you’re certain is insults in german at the TV. But even if you speak the language it’s not like you can understand between his fits of chaotic laughter. He’s so queer that romance movies make him short circuit.

- “Well actually you see; realistically she has a very high chance of getting pregnant now because he didn’t use a condom. Even know they said they don’t want a kid. Not to mention!; He didn’t use any lube which can be quite painful. Surprised there wasn’t a doctor’s visit after this.” He goes on and on about how stupid and corny this shit is and you can’t really blame him. Although now you have to sit there for hours and listen to him ramble.

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Spy:

- Visibly offended you’d laugh at such a beautiful display. Sex to him is like an art piece. Intertwining bodies and becoming one with your other half/halves. Puts his hand to his chest and glares at you with disgust. You don’t care of course, Spy is a drama queen and always has been. His judgmental expression wasn’t because of your strange behavior, in fact. In any other situation he just wouldn’t care if you acted differently than most people. But he draws the line when you laugh at GORGEOUS SEX. How dare you!!!?? For shame! FOR SHAME!

- “Rest assured, Intimacy can be more than this. I can make you feel pleasure that these two on screen could only dream about if you keep an open mind.” Of course Spy turns this into something horny. He looks rather serious about this and points his cigarette to the closet. Unbeknownst to anybody but you, Spy has a museum’s worth of sex toys in that thing. The offer immediately made you stop laughing. “Oh.” You say.

- Spy is satisfied with your red face and timid attitude towards the question. He watches you and takes a huge drag of his cigarette. “Hmm?” He raises both eyebrows and pouts, mockingly. Like a wolf who cornered a lamb.

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #medic x reader #demoman x reader #heavy x reader #spy x reader #tf2 x reader #tf2 x you #pyro x reader #sniper x reader

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generic-sonic-fan · 9 months

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The post where I do vague cultural worldbuilding headcanons for Sonic characters??

Sonic and Knuckles are mountain man bros in the sense that they both grew up in the wild raised by animals. They dunk themselves in a river, call themselves clean, and then fistbump about it. They eat fruit right off bushes. Knuckles can find you a damn good tuber in a pinch and Sonic would be able to snatch you a worm if you really wanted it. Knuckles finds it difficult to pick up on mainstream cultural customs but Sonic's always found it easy now that he's older.

Tails and Amy, meanwhile, grew up in towns. These towns had a definite human influence, hence their possession of first and last names, but they still grew up in a Mobian in-group of sorts. They know proper fur/quill care, feel that it's gender non-conforming for a boy to wear clothes and a girl to go without them, and are adept at reading ear/tail gestures. Tails was never really one for any small-town slang but Amy still uses more rural phrasing even now that she lives in a larger city.

Rouge grew up in a large city, so she's more well-versed in cultures other than her own. She's adopted some human rituals because she thinks they're fun, like face masks and shaving some of her body fur. She loves exploring human cuisines because they're "exotic" to her while Mobian cuisine are comfort foods. She's fluent in several different kinds of slang along with the gestures/manners of the different cultures.

Shadow was raised by humans. His mannerisms are unmistakably human. From wearing human-sized shirts around the house, to having a taste for "human" comfort foods, to being completely unable to read ear/tail gestures in conversation, any Mobian is able to peg him as an outsider pretty quickly. While he's absolutely embraced proper quill care, Rouge had to first point out to him that he was doing it wrong- using human shampoo is not going to cut it, hun.

Omega is. . . weird. For the most part, he's predictably alien: what few social customs he's bothered to learn he has to have observed first. Rouge has been a helpful educator on the rare occasion he gives a shit, usually in regards to slang translation to add to his dictionary. He's almost more like Knuckles in the sense that he was isolated and now he's playing catchup. Sometimes, sometimes, though, the assumptions Omega makes will lean more towards human biases. Anyone who values their life knows not to ever point that out to him.

Metal Sonic reads like a robot imitating a human imitating a Mobian. Yes, he can imitate Sonic's gestures, but it's the movement in between that's uncanny. The physicality of his limbs. The weight of each step in his out-of-combat walk cycle. It screams "human". Most of his cultural knowledge, the little that he has, comes from observing Eggman's daily routine. But Eggman is just one human, and an isolated and eccentric one at that. Metal Sonic could recognize a refrigerator but not a washing machine, could recognize a plate and fork but not any other kitchen cookware. His knowledge is piecemeal. His imitations are incomplete. He was designed for combat, nothing more. His unconscious attempts to fill in the gaps are illogical, aren't they?

Silver is permanently locked into a culture called "survival mode". That's a joke, but only mostly. His behaviors more closely match that of someone growing up in extreme poverty. He can't stand to throw stuff away and he has a hypervigilance about danger that someone who grew up in a "bad neighborhood" would understand. Not to mention that any cultural values he has learned are a few hundred years out of date, so his guesses at any customs tend to be slightly off.

Blaze is from a different dimension, which basically reads as just a different culture than the one that's prominent where most of Sonic's friends reside! She actually gets a kick out of sharing her customs and comparing them to everyone else's. She's also from an extremely privileged walk of life, though, and it definitely shows no matter how much research she does to try and be less ignorant about how "normal" life works.

#feel free to add other characters in the reblogs!!#sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e-123 omega #silver the hedgehog #blaze the cat #MAN that's a lotta tags! group post!!#please feel free to ask me about any one of these they're so fascinating to me

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johnnystorms · 3 months

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When Peter was seven, Mrs Kanowski wrote in his report card that he always has something to say. Uncle Ben had found it quite funny. Aunt May had elbowed him in the side and murmured something about it not being a compliment, a word Peter didn’t quite grasp until a year later, when Gwen Stacy socked him in the shoulder then said, “I like your socks.” (They were covered in crossed swords and skulls wearing pirate hats, much to Aunt May’s dismay. Harry thought they were cool, though, and so did Peter, kind of, and now so did Gwen. So there.) “Thanks,” Peter had said, and that had been that. Not his first friend, but one of them.

He doesn’t know why he thinks about that now.

They’re on the roof of the Baxter Building. The sun is setting, spilling red and pink and orange all over Johnny, over his golden hair, the planes of his face, the brightness of his grin. The grin in question: the remnants of laughter, left over from Peter telling him about the time Harry keyed his dad’s car in a fit of six-year-old pique and Peter had tried to take the blame, only for Norman to dismiss the attempt with a brisk you’d have chosen more sensible places to do it, which had made Johnny absolutely howl with laughter.

“Really, Pete,” he says, still grinning, “what kind of six year old gets told they’d commit vandalism sensibly?” He snorts, shaking his head, looking out over the city.

Mrs Kanowski was wrong, it seems. Peter is tongue-tied, watching Johnny’s eyes crinkle in the corners, the slope of his nose as he looks out over towards the Chrysler Building. It swells in him, the way Johnny looks right now, the way he feels, loose-limbed and relaxed and happy. Peter likes Johnny a lot of ways, but this is maybe his favourite, when it’s just the two of them, and Johnny has that smile that looks like it put the stars in the sky, instead of the one he flashes at people in corridors, at the press when they get in too close, at ex-girlfriends and maybe-boyfriends – everyone who wants a piece of him.

It’s a nice smile, don’t get him wrong. Peter is mostly immune to Johnny’s charms, but that one still makes his chest feel a little warmer. It’s just got nothing on Johnny when he’s like this, bright and open and beautiful.

“I wonder what you’d have been like if you’d known me back then,” Johnny says, still not looking at Peter. His voice has gone thoughtful, smile fading until all that’s left is a soft tilt to his lips. “What I’d have been like.” He’s quiet for a second, and then: “I’m a little jealous, you know.”

Peter can’t work the words out of his mouth. His tongue feels too thick. Still, there must be something questioning enough in his gaze when Johnny glances back at him that it gets conveyed, because Johnny blinks, then smiles ruefully.

“That they knew you back then – Harry and Gwen and even Mary Jane, though I know she was a little later. They all got to know you so early… It kinda feels like I was missing out.” The way he says kinda is like an inside joke, the type where you’re the only one in on it, where you’re laughing at yourself. Peter’s heart aches.

Johnny’s smile goes crooked as he looks back at Peter again. “You’re my first real friend, Peter. You know that, right?”

And, like, maybe. Maybe Peter knew that, logically, if he ever really thought about it, but he didn’t – he doesn’t – because Johnny is bright and handsome and funny, charming and charismatic and wildly popular even though he has enough personality defects to fill a dictionary. Everyone likes Johnny, even some of his exes, and the ones who don’t usually have a grudge to pick with his brother-in-law, or they think Johnny is just like any vapid, handsome, rich, famous type. And it’s not that he’s not, but he’s also so much more than that. Sometimes Johnny is so much that Peter doesn’t have words to contain it.

But that’s a lonely thing too.

So maybe Peter knew, on some level, that this is what he is to Johnny, this is the space he occupies. But he’s never really thought it consciously, never really framed it that way, and certainly never heard it out loud before.

He swallows. Hard.

Johnny just blinks again, then grins. It’s not that crooked one, small and quiet and delicate enough to make Peter wish he could fit it in his pocket. It’s a sudden blitz against the sky, against Peter’s fucking mental stability, because it is so gorgeous that it is utterly devastating. Peter is devastated and Johnny is beautiful. Status quo.

Mrs Kanowski was definitely wrong, Peter thinks, as he slides a little closer to Johnny, nestles up against him so that their thighs are pressed close and their shoulders are knocking together. Because when Johnny looks at him like that, he can’t think of a single thing to say.

#johnny storm #peter parker #spideytorch #vaguely high school au? written for the prompt ‘firsts’#not… that i can tell anymore why i wrote this for ‘firsts’ lmao #this isn’t new in that i wrote it for twt 1.5yrs ago #but i literally forgot abt it until searching smth on my twt just now #jane writes sometimes #meet me at the usual place #also sorry for the awol work has been Whew but i will be putting the avengers twilight one on ao3 later

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oddinary4bts · 11 months

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A drabble with jungkook, smut 87 and angst 12 / 99, tysm 💘💘💘💘

I think this is like the first time I've written something on here that doesn't have a happy ending? Oop, beware

The Bane of Your Existence | jjk

☆pairing: Jeon Jungkook x female reader, mentions of Kim Taehyung x female reader

☆rating: 18+ (contains smut, minors DNI)

☆genre: college!au, smut, angst

☆warnings: unedited, mentions of getting ghosted by a friend, mentions of bullying, curses, alcohol, explicit content: nipple play, clit play, oral sex (female receiving), protected penetrative sex, hickey

☆word count: 2.6k

☆angst prompt 12: "You really were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I mean that."

☆angst prompt 99: "It could've been worse. We could've fallen in love."

☆smut prompt 87: "It's hot when you talk back."

☆The smut prompt is from this list and the angst prompts are from this one!

☆☆☆☆☆

If there is a thing that is true about Jeon Jungkook, it’s that he was born to be the bane of your existence. You’ve never liked him, he’s never liked you. All through high school, you hated each other. And when you got to college and had to attend the same one, the hate only grew.

It’s not that Jungkook is a bad person. He’s just always irked you, in all the worst ways. His presence annoys you, his dumb smiles and stupid smirks make you want to punch him. His explicit jokes and cocky remarks make you roll your eyes to the back of your head and, frankly, you really hate him. Abhor him, and all the worst words in the dictionary somehow apply to him.

It’s even worse when he’s assigned to be your partner in a project in one of your elective classes that he ended up taking too even though your majors have nothing in common. Because now you’ve suffered through hours of his annoying personality, and you’ve also just learned that he slept with your best friend last year, before she suddenly ghosted you.

She’s moved colleges now, and you’ve long moved on. But the reminder makes you see red, in that little study room where you’ve been for the last hour and a half.

“Fuck off,” you tell him, because some part of you refuse to accept it.

He smirks, tilts his head to the side. “What? Too hard to accept that some girls want to fuck me?”

You laugh, but it’s entirely devoid of joy. “With you? All of them are just stupid.”

“Right.” He still sports the annoying smirk and you really feel like punching him for it.

But you have a project to focus on, so you do that even though he keeps looking you up and down like you’re a piece of meat. He’s surprisingly intelligent though, and his insights on what to do are mostly good, so at least you get to advance on the project a lot.

You’re dreaming of your dorm bed, of hiding under the covers only to resurface when Jungkook will be gone from your life when a trio of girls open the door of your little study room, saying that they have reserved it for the next two hours.

Your eyes slide to Jungkook. “I thought you had booked it,” you tell him.

“I couldn’t, it was already booked,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m done anyway, we can finish some other time.”

You clench your jaw. “I’d really like to finish today, Jungkook. We’re almost done.”

“Then come over to my dorm,” he suggests, and he’s got a smirk on his lips when you offer him a glare as you’re putting your laptop in your backpack.

“Fuck off, I’m not going to go over to your dorm,” you tell him, slightly shaking your head in disapproval.

“I can go to yours if you prefer,” he suggests.

You really don’t, but your wish to finish the project is stronger. You know your roommate won’t be there – ever since she started dating someone that has an apartment not too far from campus, she’s been spending most of her time over at their place. So that’s how you find yourself sitting cross-legged on your bed while Jungkook is at your desk, shooting ideas as if you’ve never really hated each other after all.

You form a better team with him than you ever expected you would.

“What about this?” Jungkook suggests.

He sends you a link from an article he was reading, and you quickly skim over it. “It says the opposite of what we’re trying to explain.”

“I know,” Jungkook says. He sighs, picking up his laptop to move to your bed.

The sudden closeness makes you stiffen, a frown moving on your features, but he’s entirely immune to it as he points at a line on the screen.

He recites it, before adding, “See, it would be perfect”.

“You did not just find a single sentence that can be used?”

He furrows his brows as he meets your gaze. “Yes?”

You laugh, and it’s a little cold. “If the TA looks at the sources he’ll fail us.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes this time. He leans closer, which in turn makes you lean back. You’re very aware all of a sudden that one of his knees is brushing your leg, and your mouth slightly parts as if in anticipation.

“No TAs actually look at sources,” he says, head cocking to the side. “Especially not Namjoon.”

Right. Your TA is one of Jungkook’s friends anyway, which you reckon might be the reason why Jungkook took the class in the first place.

He sits back in his spot, and you take a deep breath as you straighten. “Right.”

He looks as if he was expecting you to talk back, but as you return to focusing on the project, so does he. You don’t see the time go, but at a certain point a loud rumble coming from Jungkook’s stomach has you ordering burritos. You’re almost done eating, surprisingly able to converse with Jungkook about high school without feeling like murdering him. He finishes his burrito first, and then he says, “Your teeth looked so weird when I met you”.

You cock an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Before you got your braces,” he says. “People made fun of you all of the time about it.”

You frown. “By people you mean you?”

He offers you a sweet, innocent smile as if he wasn’t your bully for years. “Yeah.”

It kills the conversation as you just stare at him, holding his gaze for a while. Your burrito is long forgotten in your hands when you blink, as if breaking out of a reverie.

“You were the worst person I knew, back then,” you tell him a little pensively.

“I was just teasing you! You always got worked up over nothing.”

You scoff. “You really were the worst thing to happen to me,” you tell him a little pensively. “I mean that.”

He looks insulted, somehow, as if he believes he’s the best thing to ever happen to everyone around him. You reckon he might actually believe that, with the size of his ego.

“That’s a bit excessive,” he says, a frown taking over his features. “It wasn’t like you were any better.”

“I treated you the way you treated me,” you drawl. “Didn’t like it?”

“I just thought…” he trails off, scoffing. “I just thought it was funny.”

“In what kind of sick and twisted world is bullying someone funny?” you ask.

He doesn’t reply. He just stares at a vague spot next to you, looking so conflicted you want to push him out of your dorm.

“I wasn’t bullying you,” he finally says, voice small.

“Fuck off, Jungkook, you were,” you snicker, a cold laugh falling from your mouth.

He meets your gaze then, and he looks so angry your eyes widen. “I didn’t realize that I was. What the fuck do you want me to do about it now?”

Your burrito suddenly catches your attention, because you’re too much of a coward to hold his gaze. “Maybe stop being an asshole?”

He chuckles bitterly. “I’m not an asshole. You’re literally the only person I know that thinks I’m an asshole.”

“Maybe because that’s the way you act with me, Jungkook! You’re always on my back.”

You see him rolling his eyes as you look up, your anger giving you enough courage to be able to hold his gaze.

He says your name like it’s an insult. “You’re the one that takes every opportunity you get to insult me,” he points out. “To call me a man-whore because I sleep around. What’s so wrong with having a little fun?”

“You rub it into everyone’s face!” you burst. “That’s what’s wrong.” You pause, and it’s your turn to chuckle bitterly. “And you fucked Nabi and she ghosted me.”

He purses his lips, glancing down at your chest. You’re wearing a turtleneck, so you know he’s not looking at your breasts. He’s just avoiding your eyes, and he suddenly seems extremely guilty.

“Not my fault,” he grumbles.

“Not your fault my ass!” You shake your head in disbelief. “What the fuck did you tell her to convince her to ghost me?”

“I called her by your name,” he admits, and he meets your gaze then. It’s a little intense, a little dark, and your heart misses a beat in your chest.

“You called her by my name? You’re so fucking weird.”

As you were speaking, Jungkook’s gaze trailed to your mouth. So he’s looking at your lips when he says, “It’s so hot when you talk back”.

You were about to insult him even more, but all you manage to choke out is, “What?”

His big doe eyes look up to meet your gaze, before dropping to your lips once more. “Every time we fight, I have to physically refrain from grabbing your face and kissing you stupid.”

You have no idea how the conversation got here. Only that it makes the very bottom of your stomach warm up. “What?”

“I want to kiss you,” he says, drawing out every syllable. “I’ve had a crush on you my whole fucking life.”

You want to punch him, to tell him he’s even more of an asshole than you always thought he was. All you can do is put your burrito to the side and jump on him, grabbing his face and clashing your mouth on his.

It’s so hard you taste a little blood, but as soon as your lips connect you lose sense of everything else. There’s just him and his lips and his large hands moving on every inch of your body, caressing you over your clothes before he feels emboldened and rids you of your shirt.

His mouth drops to your erect nipple then, and he murmurs that you’re beautiful as he sucks on it lightly, tongue flicking at it right as he pinches the other one. You moan, one hand going to his hair, pulling at the long strands.

He takes that as a cue to kiss you again and so he does, his tongue parting your lips until it’s lapping at your own. He swallows the sounds you make as his fingers move between your legs, blindly looking for your clit through the fabric.

He pulls away, letting out a frustrated grunt, and he tears his shirt off before helping you out of your pants and panties.

In less than five minutes you’ve found yourself entirely naked with the bane of your existence which, you reckon, feels way too good.

He’s quick after that. Quick to bury his face between your legs and pull an orgasm out of you. Quick to take off his pants as you watch his erection spring free. Quick to put on the condom he finds in his wallet, and quick to kneel between your legs.

He watches you as you rub your clit mindlessly, before pushing in in one powerful thrust, bottoming out when there’s still some of him left. You cry out, grabbing onto his thighs as he starts fucking you, quick and hard, and it’s no wonder you come again as he angles his dick to hit a sweet spot inside of you.

He comes into the condom as your walls pulsate around his cock, teeth digging in his bottom lip so hard you think he’s going to draw blood. He only relaxes his features once his dick stops twitching inside of you, and he’s quick to pull out.

And that’s how you start having sex with Jeon Jungkook. It’s an irregular schedule, with exams and part time jobs and parties and friends keeping you away from each other, but somehow you still find Jungkook buried deep inside of you a couple of times each month. You still hate him, hate the effect that he has on you, hate how he’s able to make you beg for it.

It all culminates on a late February evening, when he arrives to your dorm two hours after he said he would with a bright red hickey on his neck.

“What the fuck is this, Jungkook?” you ask him, pointing at the proof he was with someone else. “You’re still fucking other people?”

“Are you not?” he asks, rubbing his neck. “You keep insisting that it’s just sex. Why do you even care?”

You fold your arms on your chest, taking a few steps away from him. “It’s just weird. When did you fuck her?”

You hear him scoff. “I didn’t fuck her. We just made out.”

“As if that makes it any better,” you drawl.

“You’re so fucking confusing,” he complains, with an edge to his voice. “What the fuck do you want from me?”

“Nothing,” you tell him, surprising yourself when you realize it’s true. “I’m done with you.”

“Fuck off,” he spits. “You’re just throwing a little jealousy fit because you can’t admit to yourself that you care about me.”

You laugh, a joyless sound that feels like nails on a blackboard. “The funny thing is I really don’t. I don’t give a fuck who’s under you, Jungkook. As long as it’s not me anymore.”

“What? You’re just going to end things like this?”

You nod, finally turning to look at him. He’s scowling, eyes burning with unhinged anger.

“Yeah,” you tell him. “Leave, Jungkook. The project was last semester, this has lasted for way longer than it should have.”

“Alright,” he snickers. “Suit yourself.”

And then he’s gone, not once looking back at you. It hurts to watch him go, somehow, and you curse yourself, force yourself to forget about him. It works – you barely even see him on campus to begin with anyway. So much so that, eight months later, you’re dating Kim Taehyung, an exchange student from Korea, when you actually run into Jungkook for the first time again, at a bar you don’t usually go to.

You’re at the bar, ordering drinks for you and Taehyung who went to the bathroom when Jungkook approaches you.

“Haven’t seen you here before,” he drawls, leaning on the bar. “What’s bringing you here?”

“A date,” you reply truthfully. “If you even know what that is.”

He furrows his brows, rolling his eyes. “You haven’t changed.”

“Okay, Jungkook.”

He remains silent for a time, and then his expression relaxes. You don’t like the way he’s looking at you, doe eyes turning nostalgic. Especially not as he says, “I wish we had ended things on better terms”.

You chuckle bitterly. “Sorry, Jungkook.” You pause, looking towards the bathroom as you see Taehyung walking out. You direct your gaze back to Jungkook before speaking again. “It could’ve been worse. We could’ve fallen in love.”

And then you’re receiving your cocktail and Taehyung’s beer, so you walk away, not once looking back towards Jungkook.

Little do you know that Jungkook fell in love, all those months ago. Tried to forget it with someone else, only to have it backfire in his face because of that stupid hickey. So, he watches you go, feeling sick to his stomach, then figures that getting drunk and fucking a stranger should help him forget.

He knows it never does, but it’s all that he knows how to do.

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not-goldy · 7 months

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https://twitter.com/BTStranslation_/status/1709156138992738678

I always see armys especially shipper army saying use 'partner' as we don't know their sexuality. But then why should we ? When even JK, like all of the boys, use girlfriend and female pronouns in songs and while addressing army? Here JK didn't even knew what was gender of the army commented but he automatically assumed it's a girl because they called him boyfriend. So I assume in his dictionary ome who calls him boyfriend = girlfriend. Not very queer of him tbh.

Don't do that. Don't be angsty for nothing.

He literally just explained Army = his girlfriend cos he technically has no girlfriend. So he's Army's boyfriend.

It's like an inside joke thingy now between him and Army don't be weird 🙄

BTS call Army their girl friends all the time. They call them wifeys, future wifeys and even best friends. And though interviewers try to normalize the whole 'girl friends' thingy to imply that BTS could all be straight Namjoon has been mindful to not affirm such biases

But he has a command over the English Language and can understand subtext and nuances better than the others.

Some times he tries to assist them with the language and I suppose explain some of these nuances to them like said bout Tae.

Not to say he doesn't know what he's doing but I think with little more experience into the game he would deploy the tool of language to effectively communicate his feelings and his thoughts.

Unfortunately, hetnormative language is the default setting until idols take positive steps to be inclusive.

Also let's not try to make him look dense or tone deaf or appear as that he lacks awareness about these things and how it affects a pocket of his fanbase, he's been to Harry Styles concert, worked with lil Nas X, Halsey and other queer dancers and artists and should reasonable be expected to be aware of some of these conversations.

My point is, you can't invalidate who he is. He's the same person who insists on challenging gender norms through fashion and expression and the same person who agreed to date a male fan.

When he said courage he knew exactly WHAT THAT MEANT.

You can think whatever you want of him but a single moment of his life where he jokes around with his fans does not undo his advocacy for inclusivity and consistent effort to influence and change the narrative around gender and gender expression or even sexuality.

In the famous words of a renowned Poet and philosopher, SET JUNGKOOK FREE HEE HEE

You don't really care about him

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lestatslestits · 5 months

Text

Day 3 of TOTA Takeover, dedicated to Eddie McKenna. He’s such a perfect avatar for the overarching theme of the show: the fine line between being seen as “mad” or “sane” by society, and he brilliantly subverts so many uncomfortable tropes in which characters have to spend their whole arcs learning to treat mentally ill people like human beings.

As a note: I am not Scottish, or even British, and my familiarity with Scottish English as a dialect is passing. I’ve tried very hard to do my research regarding word choice and phrasing, as well as trying to synthesize the show’s dialogue style as effectively as possible. I hope it comes across alright.

Warning: this ficlet contains brief references to suicide, as well as ableism/some ableist language.

“You really mean what you said earlier?” Eddie Mckenna asks in the half-second silence where Campbell pauses for breath for the first time in what feels like twenty minutes. He’s expounding on some bizarre theory about musical genres that Eddie doesn’t quite follow, but that’s either brilliance or lunacy. Or maybe it’s both. Probably it’s both.

“Mean what?” The kid looks half-stunned at being interrupted, as if the question has jarred him out of a trance of some kind.

“That I’m not a patient, but I ought to be.” He keeps his tone purposefully light, but it’s hard not to over-analyze the statement. Sure, he likes the occupants of St. Jude’s well enough, but he’s not sure how to take the statement that he ought to be one.

“Oh, aye!” Campbell’s expression changes to a familiar thousand-watt grin, and his head bobs on his slender shoulders.

“Right, thanks for that.”

“I didnae say it was a bad thing. Non-loonies are boring, but not Ready Eddie Mckenna!” He says the name with such a flourish, waving his hands as though conducting a silent orchestra, that it manages to make Eddie crack a grin in spite of himself.

“Still, it’s no what everyone wants to be told, Campbell.”

“And why not? History’s greats were all loonies!”

“Not all—”

“Ernest Hemingway.”

“Aye—”

“Sylvia Plath—”

“Aye, but—“

Warming to his topic now, the lad crows, “Vincent Van Gogh!”

“Campbell, all of those people topped themselves.”

“Well,” he says as if it’s a minor quibble, “alright, but you’ve got to admit they’re remembered.”

“For topping themselves.”

“Look, I’m no saying to top yourself, just saying that loonies have got home team advantage when it comes to self-expression and making ourselves heard.”

“So you’re calling me a loony for wanting to be a DJ?”

“I’m calling you a loony for selling double-glazing when you’ve got what it takes to be a brilliant DJ!”

“What, insanity?”

“Exactly!” Campbell punches the air in triumph.

“Only clearly I’m no a loony, because I’m no a patient.” He knows it is the wrong thing to say as soon as he says it, but at least when Campbell’s eyebrows arch upwards, it’s in amusement and not offense.

“You’ve met Stuart and you still think all loonies are inside?” He asks, giggling at his own joke. “Apparently I was a loony before I got banged up here, and for certain I’ll be one by the time they decide to let me go. You’re just as mad as me, Eddie.” It’s said with genuine appreciation for the craft of being a stark raving lunatic.

“And you told me once that Nana was as sane as you.” Eddie doesn’t like to think of Nana too much. He still sees her about town, huddled under overhangs, drinking vodka or whiskey to keep warm. He always tries to give her whatever extra cash he’s got in his pockets (never much), and he’s tracked down an English to Latvian dictionary, but it’s slow going.

“Well, she is. She’s just as sane as me and you’re just as loony.”

“That disnae make any sense.”

“I haven’t got to make sense, Eddie. I’m off my head.”

On the topic of madness, Campbell’s been wearing a Cheshire Cat grin throughout the whole conversation, and it makes it impossible for Eddie to tell if he’s joking. He has the uncomfortable feeling that he isn’t. He has the uncomfortable feeling that while he may not be right, he isn’t wrong, either. The lad seems to read his thoughts.

“For what it’s worth, Eddie: I like you as a loony.”

And, because it’s one thing he does know for certain: “I like you too, Campbell.”

#takin over the asylum #TOTA takeover #tota #eddie mckenna #campbell bain #tota fanfic #takin’ over the asylum

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silentwillowwhisperer · 1 year

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Krolia

Alright, I just had a thought.

I get that it's a major plot point that Krolia is part of the Blade of Marmora, but what if she was just another soldier?

What if she had been heading to Earth as a Galra soldier, and was shot down by a Blade member?

And then Keith's dad saves her!

So after that, she either decides to change after falling in love with him and realizing that destroying planets is killing innocent people like this man, oooor she continues to fight for the Galra.

If she continued with Galra, then she most likely would reunite with Keith in a battle, or at least see his picture in some battle briefing and be like, oH CRAP THAT'S MY KID.

And then if we continue on this path, then Keith would see her, and she tells him who she is, either mid-battle to throw him off, or to tell him why she won't kill him.

And if she were to do it mid-battle, Keith would be absolutely crushed and either have a character development arc in which he pushes back his feelings of betrayal and hurt and defeats her, or he gets distracted and she manages to injure him.

If Keith defeats her himself, (and this is all during fighting her) then right before she passes out/ dies they would have a moment where either Krolia apologizes, or tells Keith that he was a the best and worst mistake she's ever made, and either way she would tell him that she's proud of him.

If Keith were to get hurt by her, Lance would shoot her down and rush over to Keith. There would be one of those moments where character A is like dying, and character B places character A's head on their lap and like cries while character A is making some heartfelt speech and giving them a bunch of cliché advice, you know?

And then Keith passes out, and the team is there by then to rush him back to the castle and he makes it.

And then he breaks down when the reality of what happened with Krolia hits him.

And he has a moment with one of the paladins, BUT ONLY ONE OF THEM. More than one other paladin ruins the moment, don't ask me why, it just does.

And then if Krolia were to be still alive (This is assuming that the 'I'm proud of you' moment never happened), then she would rise up in ranks until when Zarkon dies, she's the empress. Haggar and Voltron think that she's controlling Krolia, so Haggar is targeted by Voltron and the coalition.

They CANNOT defeat her, no matter what they do, but then Krolia takes her out in order to gain full power of the Galra empire, and everyone's just SHOCKED. Krolia doesn't even do it in secret, this is like a full-on battle and she goes, "Bold of you to assume that you EVER controlled me, Witch. The only one who valued you was Zarkon, and that made him weak."

And then she straight-up stabs Haggar and leaves the battle saying to the paladins, "We've both won this battle. Now go. We all know that you are outnumbered here."

AND THEN instead of the whole Honerva thing, it's them against Krolia.

Keith would most likely be the one to kill her. Or maybe Krolia would have the same ending as Honerva! Though if that were to happen, then Allura can still sacrifice herself.

And throughout this, KLANCE exists. Allurance shippers can BACK OFF. ALLURANCE. NEVER. HAPPENS. AND NO. I am NOT adding Allurance to my computer's dictionary so that it will stop autocorrecting me, because the only ship that belongs in the dictionary is KLANCE.

*deep breaths*

Thank you for reading my Ted Ta- oh who am I kidding, thank you for reading my rant.

btw, does anyone else simp for Matt and that robot-masked alien girl??? Like, oh my goodness it is SO CUTE. In the clear day episode, (the one where Shiro wins the arm-wresting competition) the girl is INCLUDED IN THEIR FAMILY PICTURE. NO JOKE. LOOOOK!!!

MATT'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!!!

Sorry about that. I live for this kind of stuff.

If there's spelling errors, (at least more than usual) then feel free to correct me. I'm typing really aggressively right now, which usually leads to a WHOLE lot of mistakes. So, oops.

#keith kogane #krolia #canon divergence #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #notes of klance #klance #AHHHHHHHHH #matt's gf #warning: this post is extremally confusing #tawny post

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sweettsubaki · 6 months

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Bakugo needs to die for there to be any stakes left in mha

Do you personally think Bakugou is just that important to all the characters in the manga or to all the audience for his death to be the only stake possible ?

Also why Bakugou ? Why not Deku ? Why not SHouto. You know what ? Shark Girl is actually one of the only characters I haven't seen anybody give any hate to so logically, her would her death impact more people ?

More seriously though which definition of stakes are you going with ? In a narrative setting "Stakes are the risks, impacts, and rewards of a character's choices, which make audiences care about the story." According to the Cambringe dictionary, the general definition of stakes is this: "If you have a stake in something, it is important to you because you have a personal interest or involvement in it". Because I wasn't joking that much.

Now I'm not gonna disagree that Bakugou is important. As someone who has loved his character for 8 going on 9 years now and who has shipped BakuDeku both in a queerplatonic way and in a romantic way because of how he was written as this important piece of Deku's character, I completely agree that Bakugou definitely has this high of an importance in the story.

In order to work though, Stakes in storytelling are heavily linked to the themes and goals of the story.

Now would losing the boy he can only call "Kacchan" impact Izuku in deep and horrible ways ? Most definitely. Would he still consider he and the others became great heroes if said boy died and Izuku could not save him ? No.

And this isn't a small detail, this is an important piece of narration that's repeated at least twice in the story (and even widened to people other than Izuku).

This stake you're talking about does not work in the story because it would be the dumbest writing mistake Horikoshi would have made in it. It would be the most basic yet important inconsistancy he would have made in the story. Is that stake more important than the actual story he's telling ? I thought GoT s8 had finally taught people it's a very dumb thing to want. And in comparison it would make GoT s8 seem well written.

Because all this is not even counting the themes as well as Bakugou's role as a deuteragonist. What are the themes, ideas and goals of the story ? Showing people coming together. People helping people. People inspiring people. People impacting, both directly and indirectly, people's lives. Individualism and collectivism in their extremes hurt literally everybody. You need to find a middle ground. Society needs to change because individulas aren't enough to change a system, People are worth more than what they can give to others, ect... All these represented by two boys who needed to learn how to communicate and who will complete their journey by holding hands.

That's why a duo of protagonists works better than a single protagonist. Bakugou represents individualism while Deku represents collectivism. Then they reverse it. Now that they've both experienced each extreme, they need to join each other in the middle and finally fucking hold hands.

Now Horikoshi isn't a genius storyteller, he is far from perfect and in the symbolism vs concrete storytelling theory, he definitely works better with the symbolism part but he is still generally pretty good at storytelling in general. He is in the genre of Shonen, specifically an Action and Comedy. While he is inspired by superhero comics and uses a lot of their tropes, he also criticizes many of them. And that includes the very type of narrative device you suggest. Because the truth is that unless it fits the themes, killing a character is about as useful as letting them go on vacation.

Which is why I suggest "knowing whether Hawks' goal of creating a society where heroes aren't needed and can go on vacation will allow Izuku and Bakugou to get one to visit Mahoro and Kazuma for their honeymoon" as a more interesting stake for me personally ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#BnHA #Bakugou Katsuki #MHA #BkDk #BakuDeku #Midoriya Izuku #Writing #Writing Reference #me toeing the line between trolling and answering honestly : °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°#Answer #Also this is a quick answer 'cause there's so much more to the themes which is why the BakugouDekuAllMight Trio is soooo interesting among #so many other things

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the-lark-ascending69 · 25 days

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in your opinion how do you think robin would act/get along with nancys family

I think that, before they know she's dating Nancy, she'd get along with Mike, Holly and Karen just fine. Karen is just happy Nancy was a girl friend, and Mike thinks Robin is pretty cool. Robin is also super nice to Holly and always plays with her. Nancy has seen her more than once trying to teach her spanish to "give her a bit of an upper leg when she has to see this in school", but Holly is more interested in her crayons. Ted doesn't like her, but no one cares about Ted so it's whatever. He just complains that they're bringing another mouth to feed. He also makes these comments about "his hard-earned salary going to charity" when he sees Robin wearing an old jacket her dad bought back in the 60s and hand-me-down pants and tshirts that have been inherited through multiple generations of cousins before landing in her hands. Robin doesn't appreciate her father-in-law (who doesn't know he's her father-in-law) saying that, like jeez Ted I'm sorry I'm poor, and I think she'd mention that to Karen, like "I guess I just didn't expect an attack over my socioeconomic status today" though Karen doesn't know what the phrase "socioeconomic status" means.

I think she would like to help Karen cook. My headcanon is that Robin is a pretty decent cook, and she likes being helpful, so she'd be there giving Karen a hand. Karen makes the mistake of asking about what she does in her free time, and now Robin is infodumping about her language tapes and her books in dictionaries and her old Operation Croissant plan from when she was 15. Karen is actually pretty impressed by not only Robin's intelligence, but also her curiosity and the fact she'd spend all her free time studying outside of school because she loves learning so much. She thinks she and Nancy will be good influences on each other. Robin makes a point not to mention she's learning russian through reading Anna Karenina (she's not going to let her trauma or the sociopolitical climate of the world take her passion away from her, but she doesn't think Karen would understand when the Wheeler Family TV is constantly blaring news about upcoming russian nukes).

She's always nice and polite to Ted, but in her mind it's kind of an inside joke with herself. She finds it funny when he replies to her saying "good evening Mr. Wheeler! :)" with "oh, it's you again". Mike tells her she doesn't have to greet him if she doesn't want to, but she does anyway.

She might join a D&D campaign once if Nancy makes puppy eyes to her, and Nancy would only join if Mike is being annoying about it enough that she'll do it to shut him up. Robin barely plays though, she's mostly acting as a sports commentator.

I don't remember if they mentioned it in the show, but I hc Mike is very into fantasy books like Lord of the Rings. He ends up getting Robin into it and then they have nerdy talks about it.

Generally Robin is always welcome in the Wheeler household, and she has sleepovers with Nancy every week. If Karen knew what they got up to when everyone was asleep, she probably wouldn't be allowed to come lol but one of the perks of being a lesbian is that, as long as people don't know, you're allowed certain liberties more couples could only ever dream of. For Nancy, falling asleep with Robin curled in her chest every week makes all the secrecy worth it.

I wouldn't be surprised if Mike discovered them pretty early on. Nancy wouldn't want to tell him because You Can't Trust Anyone, but one day he dramatically knocks down Nancy's door after hearing weird noises coming from her room. He feared it was a monster or a psychic attack or something, but instead he sees Nancy on top of Robin. There is some screaming and screeching and Mike running to his room ready to pour bleach into his eyes. When Karen goes out to check, Nancy tells her Mike saw a shadow and got spooked and screamed like a little girl. Nancy is fuming and goes to Mike's room to yell at him for never fucking knocking. There's some fighting and hair pulling and a few sibling slaps, but then they calm down and have an actual talk about it. She tells him that, yes, Robin is her girlfriend and he can never tell anyone. And that he really needs to knock on the door from now on. Mike is mildly disgusted that his sister would have sex in their house with everyone sleeping, but he's cool with her dating Robin. He promises to keep the secret.

Next morning when the two lovebirds go downstairs for breakfast, Robin is visibly nervous and awkward and Mike looks at her with his head tilted down and suspicion in his eyes as if he had x-ray vision and was analyzing whether or not she was secretly a robot with robot guns inside her arms. Or that's what her mind comes up with, at least. She tells Nancy she has the feeling her brother and his friends will be stalking her for a few weeks to determine whether or not she's worthy.

If Karen were to find out... that would be an entirely different story.

#ronance #my posts #mike is a little shit #soon Robin will be chilling in the school parking lot and see Dustin ''hiding'' in the bushes with his binoculars #and when he realizes he's been caught he just runs away saying #into his walkie talkie ''shit shit. code red code red do you copy?? i said code red! over!''

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stormoflina · 6 months

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Hi my essay for the defense of Dominik 😁

As an Asian-European-Canadian mix, more of Asian %, I completely understand about the cultural difference. It's so hard to understand, interconnect and correlate each other culture. We are just so different. And I'm not sure but I think Hungarian culture feels more like some Asian culture. We are enthusiastic, friendly open, polite, sometimes shy but I think some of our inside jokes and local jokes will be dark and rude in the eyes of others. And the lapses in the use of words. It's the biggest problem I've had all my life. Other than what I intended even though I said it according to the dictionary translation I've learned, from their point of view, it is rude and kind of insults, things like this happen often all the time. And their words did hurt me too vice vasa. Only After living In Europe for long time, I can weigh in on the choice of words. Perhaps that's why I never felt such ego and arrogance things and felt attacked about Dominik. But in last night case I was kind of glad that he got that treatment under not that serious circumstance. He is not arrogant by any means but he needed that humbling at some point like Ali and his early days and that Leicester match I think, right? He is just too young to know all 360° of everything. He is smart and clever boy so he will be fine sooner than others. I have no worry at all. I do believe that it happened for the better.

And other fact, He joked 'he wants to play.' Line to not only Wataru but Quansah as well. And I was kind of love and glad that tbh. I even thought 'aww he and Wataru have such friendship and Wataru is not that lonely and feels left out in the squad then.' because Wataru and him are like North and South poles different in vibes and energy. I even thought they didn't have any connection each other off the pitch. 😅😅 And I'd definitely do that to my friends if I felt close enough to say so. Maybe it's my Asian energy thoughts. 😂😂 i said what I said. Rate my essay out of 10 please. 🤣🤣🤣

Essay rate is 10/10, you ate with this 💅

I do agree, there are a few similarities between the hungarian and asian cultures, I think they are much more direct and blunt in general, than other 'western' cultures.

You are so spot on with the lapses in the use of words! Yes, that is so very true!

Yes, I think this slap in the face came at the right time for him. I mean, yeah, he had a poor game, especially after how the entire week he had all this very confident interviews coming out. It's a bit funny how he had to drop a stinker right after all of those, but still, some people are really overreacting. He didn't make a crucial mistake that lead to a goal or an injury, he wasn't horrible by any means (in my opinion), he was leggy, tired and lacked focus. Just like you said, this might have come in the right time, I mean, it's not realistic to always deliever and so far, ever since he debuted in LFC, he did. A poor performance was overdue, and honestly, in one way I'm glad it happened, so hopefully he can get back to his otherwise fantastic form 😂 It would be the most Liverpool thing ever, if they barely got a 1-1 away against Luton, then would manage to win against City. (I'm manifesting it.)

What is important now, is to move on and react in a way that will silence all those haters, who finally have something to eat after waiting for months, starving for him to have a bad game. I feel like I should make a Hungary joke rn, but can't think of anything funny, so I will close my own essay (😂) with saying I believe in him and I know that he will be back with brilliant performances!

#dominik szoboszlai #lfc #anon asks #no hungry?hungary! jokes here

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daidonzo · 1 year

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Chapter 23 - I don't want this moment to ever end [Chishiya x Reader]

You were on the tenth round.

Or was it the eleventh?

You couldn't even remember. You were so tired. Chishiya usually woke up early, and you with him. But while he was perfectly content with about seven hours of sleep, you needed ten at the very least.

You placed your elbows on a table, and were holding your head between both hands, drifting off. Your eyes would close and you had to force them to open. You felt sluggish, and would have given one of your little fingers for a warm bed and a nice nap. Maybe even both. What did you use them for, either way? You had read something about how people in the future wouldn't have them any longer. Or were those the pinky toes?

People kept dying.

That was nothing new, people had died in almost all of the games you had been to. In this one, though, it was particularly barbaric, because their deaths were being caused by the lies of other players and not just by the circumstances of the game itself.

Poor Ippei couldn't bear it any longer.

"Why are they lying to each other? This is so cruel I… I can't." His rambling speech went on, and on, and on, while he moved from one side of the room to the other. Your eyes focused on him. God, you were tired. But you still wanted to help. "I thought people were better than this."

"That's the whole point of the game." You sighed. You had said the same thing every round since the seventh. At first, kindly. Now, you were trying hard to keep irritation away from the tone of your voice. "They don't want to die. The only thing we can do is tell each other what our suit is, is the only way we will survive. Sometimes… Fear can turns us into monsters."

He observed you. You could tell he wanted to trust you, so much. But it was not that easy.

"I'm hungry I… I'll get something to eat."

You nodded, and went back to the not-yet-asleep-but-also-not-awake state you had been in for the last hour more or less.

Chishiya sat next to you and you smiled, groggily, in his direction.

"Hi."

"Are you okay?"

"Just tired. Adrenaline left my body at some point during the last three rounds or so."

He looked around. There was nobody around you. So he lifted his hand and placed it on your cheek, stroking it carefully. You moved your face to kiss the palm of his hand, wanting nothing more than to cuddle with him.

But you couldn't. Because he was still going on about how he didn't want anybody to use you against him in the game. Or so you thought. Maybe he didn't care anymore, because he surrounded your body with both arms, placing a kiss on the top of your head, which was now laying on his shoulder.

"You are adorable." You heard him say. You frowned, weirded out by his choice of words.

"I have never heard you say "adorable" before."

"I had yet to see something that would fit its definition so well."

"Do you know the exact definition of all the words in the dictionary?"

"No." He smiled while you accommodated your body on top of the bench the two of you were sitting in, almost melting into him.

You sighed, eyes closed, trying to enjoy his presence, his smell, his touch. You hadn't been this close in eleven hours. More if you counted the waiting time before the game started.

However, you still had an explosive collar around your neck, that seemed to scream "Hi! I'm here! Don't you forget about me!" every single time you got a little bit too comfortable.

"When do you think this will be over?"

"Soon, I think. There is only seven of us left."

"Is that why you are getting all mushy-mushy with me?"

You felt his body softly shake with laughter, but he didn't make a sound.

"Is it that hard to believe I might have missed you just as much as you have?"

"How did you know I missed you?" You opened one eye only, and stick your tongue out, which you did when you were joking, just in case he wouldn't catch that you were lying through your teeth. You had missed him to death. "Do you think it's really pointless for me to try to save Ippei?" You asked, wanting to know his opinion on the matter now that you could talk freely.

Both your eyes were opened now, and you had turned around so that your back was against his chest. Your face rested next to his.

"I only think it's pointless because he's not the sort of person to survive here. He has you, now. He won't have you in the next game."

"I'm not the kind of person to survive this, either."

He looked at you from the corner of his eye. "I disagree. But even if you weren't, you have me. Now and always."

How was it you could still feel sparks between you when he said those things? Wasn't the honeymoon phase supposed to be just that, a phase?

"In the beginning the game was really hard on me. I started to think maybe you were the Jack and you had been planning this ever since we met."

"While I'm honored you think that, because it means you think very highly of my stratagems, no. I try not to plan anything when it comes to you anymore."

"So you just go with the flow then?" You knew that sentence would horrify him, and it did, because you felt his body tense up and you could almost picture his eyebrows furrowing. "We should get matching tattoos. I'm thinking maybe a little alien with a cap on a skateboard. And then "go with the flow" really big, but like in comic sans."

"You can get that. Think I will pass."

You were giggling, and turned your head slightly to give him a kiss on the cheek. You loved him. You were not going to tell him again, but you did.

"If I had to get a tattoo for you it would be a cat."

"I thought you were the cat." There was a hidden question in the way he pronounced those words. He wanted you to explain your reasoning.

So you did. "You're like a street cat, mischievous, cunning, always used to getting what you want by whatever means necessary. You may look menacing at the beginning, but you end up purring and asking for scratches between the ears if given enough time. And lots, lots of treats."

His lips curved upwards. "What treats have you given me to have me like this?"

"I'm the treat."

This time he laughed, and made noise. But he suffocated it, burying his face on your hair. He left a kiss on the side of your jaw before he went back to his original position.

You stayed there a bit more, embracing. Until the ridiculous robotic voice told you it was almost time to guess your suit. You had almost forgotten.

"Yours is a heart." Chishiya said, checking what was in the back of your collar before standing up, and you nodded. Ippei had told you before and you remembered.

"And you have…" You moved his blonde locks so that you could see. "A heart, as well."

He also had yours.

You walked towards the jail cells, side by side.

#chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya x reader #chishiya fanfic #chishiya angst #chishiya #aib chishiya #chishiya aib #shuntaro chishiya #shuntaro chishiya x reader #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x you #chishiya x y/n #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya fic #chishiya fluff #Spotify #as much as you want

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

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Okay, fucking hell. I have been looking forward to the start of season 15 for so long, and when it finally happened, I got delayed even longer. Missed it the night it happened because I had to go out and live in the real world, then the next day I got really busy with work, then had to go five hours out of town and get no sleep in a terrible hotel room before spending yesterday yelling at some teenagers while they fought other teenagers, then got home today and had to do more work stuff. Now, finally, on Sunday evening, I get to do the thing I’ve really wanted to do for several days now, which is sit down and watch this fucking Taskmaster episode that aired on Thursday.

At long last, here are my thoughts on Taskmaster s15e01, written as I watch it:

- If you take into account Alex Horne’s fame for giving very memorable performances in Dictionary Corner of Catsdown, as well as impressive performances as a proper contestant on the real Countdown, this might be the best of all the “Greg gives Alex an insulting nickname” jokes they’ve ever done, thrown in as one of the very first lines in this season.

- Oh good, I have no good reason for this but I enjoy the prize tasks with a size or weight stipulation. I just think it’s funny to see the wildly different directions people can go with things that are about the same size.

- Well, this show promised us Frankie Boyle being a human being for once, and here he is bringing his kids into it in the first thing he says. And then having a delightful little exchange where he calls Greg creepy for wanting a painting of him in his house. Lovely, no notes.

- Okay, when the trailer came out recently and spoiled the fact that Frankie and Ivo are the team of two, I said that’s great, because I know this might not say anything great about me, but I do find the “one contestant being terrified of another” dynamic hilarious, when it happens on Taskmaster. Dara O’Briain and John Kearns played it to perfection last season, and if anything could match that, it would be Frankie Boyle getting paired with a younger, skittish, susceptible-to-pressure Englishman who’s built a career on talking about how posh he is. My hopes for this were only buoyed when Frankie’s interview came out, and it turns out that after filming the tasks (including team tasks) but before filming the studio stuff, his answer to “Who’s your biggest rival?” was “Everyone except Ivo.” Ivo’s interview came out just today, and his answer to that question was to stammer slightly while saying “Frankie”.

I almost feel bad for expressing how funny I find the idea of this dynamic, because it’s not a good thing. Disclaimer: I think schoolyard bullying in real life is very bad. And I suppose there’s some level it can reach on panel shows, after which it would stop being funny. I’ve seen a few examples, across many years of television, of panel show bullying going so far that it’s not funny anymore. But I do tend to find it really funny until it reaches that level.

I give all the background because Frankie was the first person to present his prize, and Ivo had to go second. While this happened, I though Ivo looked and sounded a bit terrified, possibly just from having to explain something with Frankie Boyle looming over him.

But then I thought, okay, I’ve made so many assumptions about that dynamic before the season even started, that I’m projecting them onto what is clearly just a completely normal prize task description. He might sound slightly stilted, but there’s no need to imagine that he’s noticeably bothered by anything this early in the season.

But then Greg cut him off mid-sentence to ask:

And then they all stopped to acknowledge how weird it was that Ivo Graham sounded unnecessarily terrified, and then he immediately got bullied by Frankie Boyle, saying he sounds like he’s playing a game where he can’t say certain words. I’m not imagining it, everyone! Team Franko (just coined that one, will be using it any time I reference them in any post I make this season, add it to the list of Taskmaster teams with convenient portmanteaus, like Vicotrialan and Morguziree) is going to be fun. I’m sorry, I really do like Ivo Graham, but I kind of want to see him get crushed. To be fair, I think he’d be the first to admit that part of his appeal as a comedian is it’s funny to watch him get crushed.

- I haven’t gotten to the scoring yet, but Jenny got robbed in that chat, eggs are dependable as hell. Quick, easy, convenient, good for you, cheap, last longer than most things that aren’t processed food. Solid prize. Also, Jenny Eclair’s the one I know the least about, but I immediately like her energy. Based on the few YouTube clips of her I’ve seen, I predicted her Taskmaster persona might be Jo Brand’s level of giving a shit with Rob Beckett’s level of energy. So far, we’re on track for that to be true.

- Took this screenshot entirely because this joke of Alex’s seemed to unnoticed by the audience, and it deserved more.

- So, based on only his prize task presentation, I’m getting that Kiell is going with “wildly enthusiastic, going ironically over the top in selling himself” energy. Making me think of Guy Williams from Taskmaster NZ a bit. I like it.

- Slightly weird to see Mae Maritn introduce a prize task so soon after watching their new stand-up special, as their enthusiastic prize task selling persona is very similar to their stand-up persona. And to their self-insert sitcom character. Basically, I’m pretty sure this is just the actual Mae Martin we get every time. And it’s absolutely captivating. I promise I will try not to mention how incredibly attractive they are too many times before this season is over.

- Oh, I wrote the above point before seeing Mae’s actual prize, and I need to come back and say they nailed that one. 1) A full English breakfast is awesome. 2) Bringing in that kind of food plays perfectly to Greg’s tastes, the mark of a student of the game. 3) Perfectly fits the remit. A breakfast like that can get you ready for anything - dependable. And I love that they bothered to specifically make it a kilo. I mean, I assume all Mae actually did was tell the producers to measure out a kilo, they weren’t putting food on scales themself. But still. I admire the commitment of saying they want to follow the instructions perfectly. That is how you do a prize task.

- Alex calling Ivo out in the moment for not getting the remit right, letting them all make fun of him for that, and then casually mentioning at the end that Frankie was also way off - very funny. Also, Frankie Boyle got overscored pretty hard there, as a painting of himself on a horse is neither one kilo nor dependable. Should have been an easy one point. But I get it, Greg. It’s Frankie Boyle. The inherently interesting nature of the enigmatic character-within-a-character Frankie Boyle being weirdly human does feel like it should be rewarded with points, though if we keep seeing things that way he’ll win every task all season.

- Well, Kiell wins the Fun Outfit Award this season.

Jenny wearing something that could be a costume but could also just be how she dresses. Frankie dressing down, because he’s insufficiently jolly for costumes. Ivo turning up in what looks like a school gym class uniform, because otherwise he might not give off a strong enough vibe of “student who’s bad at sports getting bullied during gym class”. And Mae wins the award for “Jesus, it’s only a track suit, how can I think someone’s clothing choice makes them look so attractive when all they’ve done is put on a track suit?”

- Oh yeah. The joke about it being funny that Frankie Boyle is so far out of his element is going to take a while to get old. It might get old at some point, but that one has some mileage in it.

- Does the music playing in the background while they discuss their choreography remind anyone else of the But I’m a Cheerleader soundtrack?

- Alex mentioned that he’s had proposals and stag dos on Taskmaster before. He’s also choreographed dances before, circa season 4. To ringtones, that time.

- Jenny Eclair threatening to infect Alex with trench vagina on their wedding night is definitely backing up the idea of her having Jo Brand vibes. But she did say it with the enthusiasm of Rob Beckett.

- Ah, I see, dancing with no music. That makes sense - I did wonder why it said they could use any music, as surely only some stuff will be cleared in terms of copyright, not to mention Chanel 4 content regulations. But I guess you can play anything if you don’t actually play it. Similarly, ringtones are presumably not expensive to put on TV. They should keep having “choreograph a dance” tasks in each season, finding increasingly elaborate ways to avoid paying for music.

- Have now watched Kiell’s dance, and can say: Yep, they’re correct. I assume they created this entire task to prove the point that dancing looks funny with no music playing, and yep, turns out they’ve successfully proved that hypothesis. Dancing does, in fact, look funny with no music playing. Well done, Alex.

- Obviously Frankie Boyle chose an American hip-hop song from 2005, about socioeconomic mobility in a racist capitalist system. Obviously. It’s almost a relief, it would be too weird to watch him go completely out of character, all at once.

- I mean... it’s still pretty out of character.

I’ve seen a lot of sides to Frankie Boyle, from Mock the Week to New World Order, from his stand-up to his Guardian columns, his novel that had a little bit of everything. That’s a new one, though. Apparently he’s not always insufficiently jolly for costumes.

- Another comparison for Jenny Eclair: her dance reminds me of Mel Giedroyc’s from season 4. Also, best one so far in terms of making it fun to try to guess what on Earth the music is. And learning the answer makes it funnier.

- Ivo not doing a lot to dispel my theory that he’s going to spend this whole season like a gym class student who’s bad at gym class.

- Ivo revealing that he picked one of Greg’s favourite bands and put a reference to another one of their songs on stage as well, like a student desperately sucking up to the teacher - also not dispelling the theory. Why does it come off as desperate when Ivo plays into Greg’s hands but savvy when Mae does it? I don’t know, something about the public personas they have both carefully curated over many years.

- Oh, Mae Martin is not fucking around. They actually choreographed that. Picked music that would actually be appropriate for a wedding. Put effort into doing it and visibly winced when it went wrong. Mae Martin is here to be competitive and I am so pleased about that.

What an exciting matchup! Which of Charlotte Ritchie’s husbands would be able to give her the best wedding dance?

- Yeah, fair enough. I fully agreed with the scoring on that whole task.

Okay, I think the winner of this season (assuming it’s one of these two... and that is looking likely, based on how things have started) should get to actually marry Charlotte Ritchie. Those would be good stakes.

- Oh, I immediately like the premise of this next task. Reward and punish based on arbitrary adherence, or lack thereof, to basic social etiquette. Leave them wondering whether to follow the etiquette or not, before and after knowing the premise. I like any task where we get to watch the premise slowly dawn on someone, and then watch them work out what to do about that in real time:

- 1) Watching Frankie Boyle unroll a ball of string while giggling like a child and batting at it like a cat is delightful.

2) I haven’t seen whatever they’re building up to yet, just paused it after Alex asked him if he’s happy. They’re going to have to roll it back up, aren’t they? Frankie won’t see it, because he’s not paying enough attention.

- Okay... so the back of the task negates the front? But if they’re contradictory instructions, can’t they argue that following either one should be as good as following the other?

I mean, fair enough, Frankie.

- Oh, title drop from Ivo. Who’s keeping stats on these things? Someone should be keeping track.

- Ivo looking for another ball of string in the house: student of the game move. That is a man who’s watched all his friends do this show over the last few years, and has memorized ideas for the sort of thing to expect. I bet there is one somewhere.

- Alex Horne: Do you think a Canadian will trust an Englishman?

Frankie Boyle: Shouldn’t do.

Me: Thank you, Frankie. I’ll keep your sage advice in mind if I ever manage to save up enough money to visit the UK.

- Mae Martin throwing the string around with abandon is... I mean. I’m trying to not just comment all the time on how attractive they are. Why is throwing string around something that makes that especially difficult? It’s something about the determination and breathless enthusiasm. This might be the biggest crush I’ve ever had on a Taskmaster contestant, despite there being some very significant competition in that field.

- It’s early in the season for this level of betrayal, really.

- Ooh, credit to Jenny for that workaround. I didn’t think of that idea at all.

- And Mae found it! This is another thing seeing up a Mae/Ivo dynamic, in which they both similarly care about winning, but Ivo holds back and Mae commits harder so is better at it (which is how Mae sucking up to Greg comes off as calculated, while Ivo doing it comes off as desperate). I’d be happy to watch that keep playing out all season.

- Location task! I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat, take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat!

- Okay, this is basically a Super Mario game.

- Frankie Boyle saying “We’re lining up with this bad boy” and then immediately crashing into a tree on the other side of the river from his target is the first thing all episode to make me properly laugh out loud. Other parts have made me laugh, but not as hard as that.

- I really like this task. Where did they get a barge? I hope the other location tasks are not just in that general area, but are also on that barge.

- I agree with the decision to put that Jenny Eclair crash at the beginning of the opening titles. Good stuff.

- I’ve paused it after seeing Frankie and Jenny’s attempt to say: there has to be some other way of doing it, right? Some way of going around and catching the rings, not touching them but gather them on a stick or something? Maybe that wouldn’t work. Maybe they really do just have to drive a barge.

- Yep, I’m definitely on board with Kiell playing this season with comically over-the-top confidence. That’s entertaining.

- Mae and Ivo both kiling it out there, genuinely impressive. Sorry Ivo, I might have to take back at least a few things I said about you being competitive but incompetent. We’re getting competitiveness and competence from both people here.

- Oh shit! I think this is only the second time in Taskmaster history that two people have been so close in a “fastest wins” task that they’ve shown them next to each other. The first being Chris Ramsey and Sophie Duker, which was both a very exciting individual task, and the beginning of a really good rivalry.

- Right, I obviously wrote the above two points before this happened:

Well done with the misdirect on the photo finish, editors. That was slick.

- You know what else was slick? Mae Martin snagging those tubes like they’re a professional barge driver. God damn. Well done.

- Ivo completing the task, cheering so hard his hat fell off, and then immediately crashing into the concrete - another proper laugh out of me.

- I started this post by saying I’m amused by the idea of Ivo Graham being so afraid of Frankie Boyle that he had difficulty just introducing a prize while sitting next to him. That theory has also not been dispeled.

But based on watching him visibly squirm while they discussed his errors, and and then physically jump on the first person who tried to save him - I think this this season is going to offer me plenty of two things I like. One being highly competitive Taskmaster contestants caring way too much about doing well (from Ivo and Mae), and the other being, as I said, Ivo Graham getting crushed.

- I can’t be bothered to make a gif of this, and actually, I think the still images might be funnier anyway.

God damn, Ivo. Now I really do have to take back at least four or five of the comments I’ve ever made about your incompetence. That is… that was so cool, that you get one free pass in the future, you get to do one stupid thing some other time and I won’t even hope anyone crushes you for it.

Oh, that was genuinely good. Kiell responding in kind, also very funny. But humour aside, that was just a really smart idea out of Ivo. Fucking right.

- I tried to think of something to say about this screenshot so I could justify posting it, but I’ve got nothing, I just wanted that picture of Mae.

- Hell of a screenshot, this one is:

It’s a good Taskmaster episode when it produces at least one tableau that looks like it could be an ancient painting. It adds to the composition that it gets more dramatic as you work inwards - Frankie and Mae just observing, Ivo and Kiell processing what they’ve done with each other, Jenny raising her arms to the heavens.

- I like it. A strong balance in that opening episode, a solid mix. Some promising starts to various dynamics and personas, pretty much along the lines of what I was hoping for. This is going to be fucking good.

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dont-doubt-dopple · 1 year

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MCYT March

Apologies for the delay, but here’s your gift finally @codes-and-stuffs for @mcytmarch ! I hope you enjoy it and so sorry it’s a bit on the shorter side, but I wanted to get it out since it’s already late.

Word Count: 1067

~~~~~~~

Joe Hills of Nashville, Tennessee looked at ZombieCleo. Cleo looked right back at him. Joe wasn’t sure if Cleo could blink, so he’d know he’d lose this staring contest for sure. But still … he was still looking at her. She was give that ‘Are you Serious, Joe’ look that he got a lot. He wasn’t sure if being able to read her face and know roughly what she was thinking was a curse or a blessing to Joe. Of course he would never know exactly was going on in Cleo’s head. Probably a lot of residual thoughts of Arson and maybe a curse word or two about their build being 3 blocks off. He wouldn’t want to read anyone’s mind anyways; his own thoughts were plenty company enough.

“Say that again for me.” Cleo finally said, after a slight awkward amount of staring at each other and a lot of lost staring contests on Joe’s part.

“Boatem is haunted.” Joe repeated, a little confused at to what Cleo was confused about. The statement itself seemed self explanatory enough.

“Is it like … the Boatem hole is haunted or …?”

“Nope. Boatem the place is haunted.” He clarified. “The Void of the Boatem hole is actually quite comforting. Like a moment of falling down into space, surrounded by twinkling stars before it consumes you in its embrace.”

Cleo stared at him again, for a significantly shorter amount of time this time. “For the record, you and I have VERY definitions of comforting.”

“Well, my definition of Comforting is based on the Cambridge Dictionary which is ‘making you feel less sad or worried’. Are you more of a Merriam-Webster definition person?”

“You KNOW what I meant, Joe.” Cleo sighed, resting her face in her hand, the left one specifically. “Why do you think Boatem’s haunted?”

“I don’t think. I know Cleo.” He corrected as she rolled her eyes. “It could be haunted or possibly just cursed. More testing needs to be done but my hands are caught up with our castle and the Biggening Moon Experiments, and unlike you I only have 2 hands.”

“My replacement don’t count. I only have two hands attached to me.” Right, he always forgot that bit. She had more hands from varying sources that he was not question, according to her. But just because more limbs doesn’t always mean being able to juggle more. Joe was pretty sure he could juggle more than Cleo if we’re to participate in a juggling contest anyways. “But that’s not … Boatem. Haunted. Why?”

“It’s Haunted.” Joe tilted his head to side in confusion, a habit he had picked up from many of his dogs when he was elected the official Hermitcraft Dogcatcher. He wasn’t sure why dogs did it; he couldn’t exactly speak with them. Besides, if dogs could talk he probably wouldn’t talk to them about why their head tilts when they’re confused. He’d probably ask how he did as a Dogcatcher with a feedback survey as well as what meats they liked best or what places they wanted scratched. He doubted any dog would know why their head turned when confused. Maybe Rendog knew, though he was always perpetually confused on the relationship between Ren and Dog. And now apparently … cyborg.

“Yes, again, you’ve said Joe.” Cleo said, snapping Joe back to the conversation. “But you don’t … usually you don’t have conclusions about things without evidence.”

“Yes, and I have plenty of first hand properly documented evidence on why Boatem is haunted and how I will never return there again.”

“Is it a PowerPoint presentation?” Cleo joked.

“No, but it’s a thoroughly research paper with APA style citations. I don’t know if that’s the most appropriate cause I personally prefer Chicago but I thought it was most appropriate.” Joe pulled out a couple of pieces of paper from his inventory. “Times New Roman 12 point font double spaced as is standard.”

“Wow, okay.” Joe smiled, despite knowing Cleo was far from impressed and didn’t want to say anything. He hadn’t written a proper essay in a while, and if he was being honest this was probably more like a warm-up for the real research findings he wanted to publish on the Biggening Moon Project. He still needed to make time to sit down with Cub to do his interview for the news network. But the Boatem Haunted Theory would probably be good to boost his credibility in the Minecraft Scientific Community. “I’m not reading that. But … why?”

“Well, I believe my findings are important and letting the wider Hermit …”

“No, why is Boatem Haunted?” Cleo interrupted, letting her hand hold her head once more. “You writing an entire paper on it does not surprise me.”

“Oh, oh okay. Well … whenever I go to Boatem bad things happen to me or places around me.” Joe looked down at his work to confirm his findings. “Exhibit A: A creeper spawns behind me because it is too dark and blows up part of Grian’s base.”

“But then … that’s Grian’s fault the base wasn’t lit up.”

“Yes, but statistically speaking Ghosts prefer dark places to avoid being seen. Have you read the established literature on ghost and their habitats, Cleo?”

“No, Joe, I have not.” Cleo stated while rolling her eyes. “Because ghosts aren’t real.”

“Cleo, what’s trapped in Soul Sand, screaming for all eternity, trapped in perpetual horror between grains of brown sand in the Nether?”

Cleo looked at Joe again. This was just about the length of 2 bordering on 3 staring contests. “I would love to know how your brain works, sometimes.”

“Ok. But do you know the answer?”

“Souls, Joe. A somewhat morbid way to ask it, but Souls.”

“And what are ghosts if not souls trapped in the OverWorld rather than the sands of the Nether, wandering with no sense of purpose forever.”

Cleo was silent. Joe wasn’t sure if that was a good silence or a bad silence. Cleo was often silent when he said things like, as she described, ‘nothing that a million monkeys on a typewriter would ever think to type’. As the silence continue and turned into more staring contests, Joe just decided it was best to move on.

“Well, I still have a lot of points to get to while you think, so I’m just going to continue. Exhibit B: Scar.”

#mcyt march #mcyt fanfiction #joe hills #zombie cleo #hermitcraft #hermitcraft season eight #Boatem is haunted #hc8 #Dopple work

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thessalian · 10 months

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Thess vs Asexual Advocacy

So while I’m waiting for some files to transfer (because I found out that I can actually just move game files on Steam now instead of having to uninstall and reinstall, and with having removed a lot of video file from my drives, I have a lot more space and might not even need to use the external drive ... for awhile, anyway), I decided to go through YouTube, and found an interview that Yasmin Benoit, asexual advocate, did with Carl Higbie of Newsmax. I mean, she handled it wonderfully but I wanted to throw things.

He starts with, “I dunno what that is”, like it’s some weird-ass thing, and then quotes Merriam-Webster dictionary definition, and then still asks Yasmin what asexuality means. Asks twice what rights she’s actually advocating for that they don’t already have...

Okay, here’s where I should talk a little bit about UK law and some shit I didn’t know until she mentioned, though in my case it was because I assumed very wrong about a lot of things and fucking hate it. So here’s the deal:

Asexuality is still pathologised in the DSM and Europe’s equivalent. So while homosexuality for both sexes was eventually seen as an orientation and not a mental illness by medical professionals ... asexuality was not.

Asexuality is not included in the protections offered by the UK Equality Act. Which means that the umbrella ban on conversion therapy? Doesn’t apply to asexuals. So we can still have family and doctors push us into “treatment” for “medical frigidity” or “hormonal imbalance” or whatever the fuck.

She tells him this twice and he still doesn’t get it. And in fact almost makes it a joke, going, “So, if I said something like, ‘Hey, you should try to get yourself a partner; it works for me’ and all that kind of thing, would that count as hate?” At which point she looked at him with the politest “what the fuck are you on about, mate?” look I’ve ever seen and said, “No; it would just be a weird and intrusive thing to say. Also, asexuals do still like companionship and might have life partners - it just doesn’t have to be about sex”.

I think what got me was that at the end of her every answer, this Higbie guy almost visibly shunted aside her cogent and intelligent answers with, “Okay, so--” and then moving on without any indication any of it had sunk in. And in fact basically turned around at the very end of it and more or less said, “I don’t get why this has to be its own category; why can’t it just be like ... like me, I’m a normal guy, married to a woman; why isn’t it just ‘any other category’? Why can’t you just say, ‘I’m a citizen, I do my thing, and that’s that’?”

Translation: “You’re not actually queer; why are you pretending to be?”

Look, you little white-bread deep-fried fuckwit, YOU ARE NOT THE ONE WHO DECIDES WHAT QUEER IS.

She said what I would have said, but a lot more calmly: “We’re not straight, so we fall under the umbrella”.

It feels like there’s this interview style that’s asking questions in a couple of different ways and not listening for answers or to understand, but to look for the right sound byte to throw out there in a clip to make the other person fit their narrative. This feels like that. Except that Yasmin Benoit didn’t give him any, so he was like, “Okay, I still don’t get this, but whatever” at the end of it.

Some people in the comments thought that this was a good interview, that it was good to have those kinds of questions out there, that it was a good first step. Having dealt with an awful lot of people who have that exact same, “Why do you have to call yourself queer?” conversation, I personally think it was only good because any attempt to invalidate asexuality failed due to Yasmin Benoit’s being calm, patient, and very articulate.

Here. It’s only six minutes. Judge for yourself. I still want to punch his Botox-looking face in, personally, but that’s just me. I don’t like people’s reasonable fears about the lack of advocacy for asexuals, and their desire to be accepted rather than fucking pathologised, turned into something to attempt to mine for delegitimising sound bytes. Thankfully, from this one, they won’t get any.

youtube

#Thess is asexual

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