#just validate other people’s feelings and experiences

[charlyaster]

Rating (some of) FableSMP Characters depending on how terrible of a person they are:

ATHENA

- he just a lil guy

- they so friendly

- never tried to use their power to hurt people

- destruction powers doesn't make you automatically a bad person.

My absolute beloved/10

MOMBOO

- plant lady don't commit crimes

- adopted a random bear and some kid

- kinda nice of her

- revived two of her friends

- again, kinda nice ngl

- I can forgive her for the denial part in s1

- I understand

- valid

- you did lock your kid in a bunker tho

- not poggers

6/10

EASTON

- ominous but in a neutral way

- funny

- did wrong but also you were corrupted so *I guess* it's not your fault

- tf you mean "college"

6/10

ARISANNA

- she's adorable when not vexed

- vexed :(

- not vexed anymore :D

- I love her

- in my heart she did no wrong ever

6/10

ENDERIAN

- ...

- i-

- she was better at the end tho-

- she tried to be a good mom for a lil bit-

4/10

FABLE

- keeps killing people

- doesnt feel guilty about it

- cursed his wife :(

- basically the reason Fengari and Ven can't be together again

- don't even get me started on the larger scale of the consequences of the resets

- manipulative bi-

Terrible man/10

ICARUS

- is responsible for the lack of women

- terrible brother

- but apparently they used to be good

- denial will be your downfall

- but still my favorite

- i care too much at this point

- they've been manipulated since childhood give them a break

- dumb tho

- like actually

- WHY ARE YOU A BIRD

4/10

RAE

- g a y

- polyamorus people can never do wrong

- never hurt people on purpose

- anxious guy

- only uses powers to protect/help other

- does everything to help people

- his mom died

- someone give him a break

- please

7/10

ISLA

- cheating is okay if your husband is a bitch

- pretty

- m o t h e r

- did everything to protect her children

- doesn't remember her children

- not her fault tho

8/10

ULYSSES

- he's tragic

- he did do unethical genetics experiments on god

- oupsies?

- *is* The Horrors™

- in this essay I will show you how Ulysses has been manipulated into joining the experiments-

- HE'S TRYING SO HARD TO BE GOOD

I care too much/10

MALITAE

- funny

- silly

- goofy

Love them/10

#i give no further explanation #mom said its my turn to be silly #fable smp

[icyg4l]

PAC: How Can You Attract More Clientele?

hello beautiful people! i wanted to do something different today! this is for my business owners out there, this one is for you. if you need some extra reassurance/advice on how to gain more traction, this is for you. without further ado, please pick the image that resonates with you the most.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile One: I heard “something’s brewing” as I was shuffling for this pile. Pile One, do you know how lucky people are to have your talents in this world? Why don’t you take your talents where they belong? I feel like you aren’t really pushing yourself the way that you’re supposed to. You’re all talk but when it comes down to actually putting in the work, you get scary. There’s no point in planning for the future if you don’t live in it. So do what you have to do in order to be known! Another thing about you is that there’s some shame around your work. It’s like you’re embarrassed to show off your stuff so you’ll just hand it off to people that you know and when you get compliments, you won’t necessarily take them as one should. You need to celebrate your work forreal. Your work needs to be seen. You need to be around other creative people so that you can have personal muses in your life. You need to know that your talents will be recognized as long as you let them. All in all, in order to attract clientele, you need to be willing to put yourself out there.

Cards Used: Princess of Swords, The Hermit, Prince of Cups, Knight of Swords, 2 of Wands, 7 of Swords.

extras: shuffle. coffee brewer. sodastream. alliteration. mime. pasties. original invention. 

Pile Two: Aggressive marketing is a tactic that you need to take on, Pile Two. This is a pile similar to Pile One in the sense that you are being too coy. I am seeing a fast-paced work environment. You deliver your products fast and you come up with ideas pretty fast. The thing is though, you do not really sell yourself. When I say this, I mean that you are too calm and humble with the way that you market yourself. People tend to overlook you because you’re not really showing off your product/brand. Invest in your brand and you will see better results. If you have a TikTok or Instagram, I’m not going to lie, talking fast or talking in a bubbly manner will help your clients flock to you. I am feeling a little chaotic right now as I type this. I feel like you need to unleash your chaotic side into this marketing. People would be more willing to buy the product if you show off your authentic energy. 

Cards Used: Four of Swords, Temperance (RX), The Devil (RX), The Hermit, 9 of Wands, Ace of Swords, Prince of Cups, Eight of Wands

extras: panda express. takeoff. funeral. egg sandwich. sadistic. clueless. “you are the visuals baby.”

Pile Three: There is nothing wrong with getting shit done, Pile Three. I feel like this pile thinks that they do everything right, or do you? I think you need to stop caring about the validation of other people. Do you actually like what it is that you’re doing/selling? Is it fulfilling to present this product to other people? If so, then you need to just be patient. You are very impatient to the process of gaining sales. You need to let more time pass. Your business hasn’t taken off because you do not let shit marinate. If you let time pass by, you would actually gain more clientele. As you await for this moment though, take everything as a learning experience. If you do not feel fulfilled/personally rewarded, then it is time for a rebrand. You need to figure out how this product resonates with you. What is your personal connection with it? How can you connect to other people through this product? What lasting impact do you want to leave on people? I also see that you do need to get involved with people offline as well. Posting flyers up around your neighborhood would really benefit you, my love. 

Cards Used: The Emperor, Strength, 4 of Swords, The Devil, The Hanged Man, Judgment, Prince of Wands, Queen of Discs 

extras: orlando. drill rap. ohio. “earthy scents.” twisted tea. green giant. 

Pile Four: I actually feel like this pile is super close to meeting their goal number of clients. You have been putting in the right amount of work and therefore, you have been getting rewarded. But you need to learn how to network. I feel like this pile just needs to be at the right place at the right time. If you find yourself getting invited to an event that needs your skills, you should check it out. It’ll be the key to your big break. I also think that you should consider trading with other creatives to gain more clientele. Consider promoting other creatives’ work so that more people can come to you. I think it really all comes down to the timing of it all. But your time is pretty soon. You’re already eating good but soon you’ll be eating real good. There’s not really much you have to do but just show yourself off. 

Cards Used: Wheel of Fortune. The Magician. Queen of Discs. King of Wands. 7 of Discs. King of Discs. The Emperor.

extras: dill pickle. onion rings. pastel colors. breakfast foods. sizing issues.

#law of assumption #manifesting #neville goddard #tarot #tarotreading #astro notes #hoodoo #pick a card #pick a pile #divination #tarot tumblr #tarot witch #free tarot #daily tarot #tarot deck #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick an image #tarot pac #pick a reading #pac reading #tarot pick a card #tarot pull #spirituality #black tarot readers #tarot community #kpop tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity

[one-of-tankhuns-neurons]

I cannot let this show go without writing my goodbyes... Deep Night Final EP

Deep night was everything and more. It was a show that was made with insane love, thought and care and it fucking shows. That loves shines through the screen and it is GUARANTEED to warm your cold dead heart. Cheewin has always made his shows a bit more grounded, a bit more queer, a bit more real. Since YYY you can just tell there's someone in the crew that understands queer experience and this was it again. The good parts, the sad parts, the struggle without exploting it for pity. It showcased confusion and acceptance and love and love and love. So many different kinds of love.

Wela and Khemtid

These two developed so beautifully, from people who misunderstood eachother, to people who felt attracted to each other but still didn't get it, to people who listened, apologized, leaned on, supported, loved, cared for eachother. Khemtid's enchantment with wela blossomed after they fought about Wela's job, he realized that acceptance was the better route to take and he just worked hard to get it right, to make up for it, to help. Wela at the same time tried so hard as well to understand Khem's feelings, making it easier for them to reach the middle ground. He worked so hard with Khem to keep the club afloat, he was never mean to his coworkers, he carried the whole world on his back and still stood proud. They went from strangers to these two adorable dorks who hold hands and smile while kissing. I'm sorry but Khemtid smiling like he just won the world while giving his injured bboyfriend a handjob at the back of the club made my heart burn. That's complicity and partnership and mischief and intimacy. They stand on equal ground and that's so meaningful to me.

Then we have these three dorks

The true rivals to lovers. I talked about this in my previous Deep Night post but it was brilliant. Their storyline developed so subtly and naturally I cried last week. The way Japan and Ken's love bloomed out of love for Seiji... like it's not that they're just dating Seiji, they're dating eachother and that comes from a trust that developed from and understanding, that grew from care into desire. Last week's episode showing Japan as the center of his fantasy showed that, Japan is also attracted to Ken, and Ken's heart has melted for Japan as well, unknowingly. The talk they had was so necessary, so respectful and rooted on concern and an actual attempt to build something that left no one out. Seriously the way they're sitting in the end, with Ken brushing Japans hand, the way Japan held Ken's hand and brought him into the hug to welcome him, to shelter him. I love that it wasn't fetishized. (Because we've tackeled threesomes before in other shows but not romantic love) I love them, they love each other, this is healing.

Freya and Meiji

They are EVERYTHING. Honestly the role of women, specifically queer women in queer spaces has been overlooked for way too long. They take on the role of caring, protecting and supporting the whole club, the boys themselves and themselves. The fact that Freya's character was divorced and was constantly under attack from her ex-husbands family now existing with a same-sex partner was so complex yet beautifuly handled. Meiji was not just some random chic they threw in to gay it up, she was important to Freya, she helped at the club, she wasn't much around but when she was on screen she was Freya's rock. The talk on age... bro that shook me to the bone. Media is so focused on youth their questioning was so valid and so painful to watch... but it healed. Fuck I'm crying watching this. Everyone deserves to be loved by THEMSELVES.

Khem and Freya

gET TF OUT I WANT TO BE ALONE this mother-son relationship was amazing. Both characters grew so much out of love for each other I want to swallow a shotgun. The was it was alway Freya trying to gain Khemtids approval was so heartbreaking, and watching Khemtid LEARN to accept and love his mom, accept and love the club, accept and love the role they play... fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK

Also we cannot forget Dai

I don't even have words to explain how great this character was. Outfits on point, personality strong and unmoving, loud and authentic and accepted and part of everything and capable and necessary and just EVERYTHING. And the fact that Dai was perceived as a potential love interest for Freya without it being a joke or mockery was gold. Apart from that, all of these characters and storylines are interwoven in a net of complexity, social norms, real struggles but also real coping mechanisms. I also want to LOUDLY RECOGNIZE the work put into it, as they all worked hard to actually get on stage and perform acrobatics like their characters. There was just so much attention to detail and to making things right I want to cry just thinking about it. Please please please if you havent... Watch it. It may not be revolutionary but it's perfect to me. Deep night is a very queer show that decided to open a lot of wounds just to let them heal properly. THANK YOU DEEP NIGHT. I expected nothing from you and you're now part of me.

#deep night final ep #deep night the series #nah but i cried like 18 times writing this #and theres so much stuff I didn't mention #the whole discourse on recognizing this line of work #i love them #khemwela #kenseijipan #bl drama #deep night bl #thai bl #im crying again #wela and his moooooom #freyameiji #ql #thai ql #queer

[sideprince]

I've seen the same post a hundred times now. Sometimes it's a few days old, sometimes it's from years ago, but it's always the same. Some anti posts about how they don't understand how anyone can like Snape because he was so awful, and then there's a long reply that goes something like, "imagine this happens to you, and then this, and then this" to describe Snape's experience. Sometimes there's some James Potter hate thrown in.

Look. You can go through describing a character's entire experience but you don't really need to. Here's the thing that antis don't understand:

For all her faults (and they're big, bigoted ones) Rowling understood a really integral part of the human experience and conveyed it through Snape. Everyone needs love and to feel accepted. It's that simple. Snape became a Death Eater to seek acceptance (Rowling has confirmed this, though I can't remember the source - whoever wants to add it please do), because it was the only way he could find any.

Snape's understanding of morality, like everyone's, is subjective. Some readers understand this and some don't. When faced against a morality that says there is good and bad in the world, everyone makes choices based on their personal experience. Context is everything. Someone who experiences pain and suffering will not see the person inflicting it on them as moral. That's it. 'How can this person be good when they caused me so much suffering?' = human psychology. Most of the people who think 'I'm a bad person and deserve this' have been gaslit and abused into thinking so, because it's not a natural reaction - it's one that has to often be socialized into someone at a young age, exactly because it's not natural. Everyone is the hero of their own story; no one sees themselves as a villain, because they see the valid aspects of their own perspective.

You can write essays on how vulnerable people needing acceptance is what cults and fascists exploit to recruit vulnerable people, or on how the standard anti's un-nuanced reading of Snape both ignores canon and displays a disturbing lack of empathy or compassion, but at its core it just boils down to context. From Snape's perspective he experienced cruelty, therefore the people inflicting it must be cruel. Again, it's that simple. He was a person, like any other, except he was fictional so he wasn't even real. On the flip side is James Potter, who, for all his faults, didn't get to live long enough to get a chance to change and grow unlike Snape, and I think the Snapedom also needs to acknowledge that.

They're fictional characters representing things an author wants to say, not sports teams, not martyrs, and not all good or all bad emblems that define your identity depending on how you feel about them. It's depressing how much time is wasted arguing with bullies and trolls whether from the Marauders fandom or just random antis. I literally can't find more than three blogs to follow without this argument coming across my feed daily. I know the Snapedom is Not OK™ and that's kind why we're all here, and I know that my take is super unpopular but like Snape, I don't care what others think: this fandom has been having the exact same argument for years and nothing has changed. There's fanart and meta and fic and so much content out there appreciating this character, you're not going to change an anti's mind who's deliberately trolling in the tags, so why are you trying? What are you getting out of it? What does it give you? It's exhausting just scrolling past it.

#The thing about morality is that it's subjective #the religious leader who's a beacon of moral purity to their congregation #is a source of selfishness and pain to someone they abuse in secret #is that abuse victim immoral for rejecting the values the religious leader represents? #the congregation might think so because their definition of morality relies on the religious leader being a moral guide #the victim might not think so though because how can something be righteous if it causes suffering #look this is just an example of how perspectives can vary and I know there are more possible takes on that example #my point is that the idea that there's no clear 'good' and 'evil' there's only power/what you do with it is actually how psychology works #'good' to one person can be pain to another #'scourgify' is an innocuous household spell that cleans stains until it's used to waterboard someone #context matters more than labels like 'light' and 'dark' magic

[yanderes-galore]

I'd like to o so formally request a Monkie kid Redson alphabet! (If I already sent this request feel free to delete my brain is being weird rn XD)

Sure! Just a fair warning, I'm only on Season 2 still so if something's off... you know why.

Yandere Alphabet - Red Son

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Manipulation, Stalking, Threats, Violence, Kidnapping, Validation issues (?), Trackers, Burning/Branding, Delusional behavior, Attempted murder, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Red Son, from what I've seen, seems like a character who would often want attention and approval from his obsession. When it comes to affection, he isn't big on physical affection. However, I feel when he finds the right person, he just can't get enough of them.

Once he deems you as the person he loves and trusts most, Red Son comes off as clingy intense, and smothering.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He's short tempered and I feel he'd threaten... but I'm not sure if he'd really enjoy killing someone. His parents are both villains, yes, but I think he'd hesitate on following through unless someone pushed him.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Honestly, I can see Red Son kidnapping you and trying to play it off as some big villainous scheme... But in reality he just really likes you.

At first he has you tied to a chair in his room, acting like he's going to interrogate you. Then all of a sudden he's confessing... trying to hold your hand... and showing you around with a smile.

He would not mock you, he treats you with a surprising amount of care.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He may seem like he will... but he actually tries not to as you're the only one he feels he can open up to.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

At first it doesn't seem like a lot. However, eventually you become the main person he can open up to. With his obsession, he's vulnerable and open with his heart as he really wants you to accept and validate him and his feelings.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Disappointed, in denial, and upset. He confides in you... and you fight him???

He is completely ignoring the fact he has most likely kidnapped you.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No and he wouldn't like it at all.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Well, he's a Fire Demon... son of the infamous Bull King. As an inventor, he may create things to keep you in check or have an eye on you.

I imagine two worst things could either be him kidnapping you and forcing you to wear a tracker... or seeing him lose his temper on someone and nearly killing them.

He hates to scare you.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He probably wants something like his parents as it's the only relationship he knows. He wants to love you, get married, and have you as his spouse.

It would help if his parents approve of you.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yes he does. He will most likely lash out due to his temper. Usually he lashes at other people, although sometimes he accidentally yells at you.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Obsessive, Clingy, Manipulative, Controlling, Caring, Possessive, and probably also Protective.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He probably met you through MK, as much as he hates to admit it. Ever since then he's found himself thinking about you, growing fond of you to the point of following you around or stalking your socials.

Eventually he drops his ego enough to try and be your friend. You're one of his only friends and you listen to him. He's never had such a connection with someone like this....

Then, he thinks this must be love! Clearly he can't stop thinking about you, so he must be in love! Which gets him plotting on how to go about this.

He gives gifts, attempts to be close to you, and it's safe to say... he has no idea what he's doing... and his emotions certainly aren't normal or healthy. Not like he knows that though.

Is this not how villains love?

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not really... although he is softer with you.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

I want to say burning but I'm not sure if he's that cruel? Branding does seem like something he could do... if not restraints and isolation.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Originally he tries not to take any, but he'll take what he feels his "necessary."

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Red Son falls under impatient more than patient. He has a temper issue so he has his limits.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He probably wouldn't and would be desperate to find a way to bring you back to him.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Not really, but he might. Also, he probably would not let you go without knowing exactly where you are.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Probably a combination of curiosity and childhood.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He feels upset and confused. He isn't the best at comfort, but since he loves you he should try, right? He does his best... for better or for worse.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

SKIPPED

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Reciprocate his affections, or at least play along... and you'll have some freedoms to work with.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Not unless he has to punish you.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

I feel there's times he can be a worship yandere when he looks past his own ego. He'd do anything to have you... he's the Demon Bull King's son. He should have you if he wants!

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

I'd say months to a year and a half, maybe?

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Not intentionally.

#yandere lego monkie kid #yandere lmk #yandere red son

[sophieinwonderland]

The problem isn’t plurality. The problem is the language around DID from plural communities and even the DID community. People who have DID but are in denial may take much longer to accept the diagnosis and work to better understand themselves because they may not be able to relate to how it’s spoken about in online spaces. Particularly people who do not feel comfortable viewing themselves as multiple identities in one. Although that is the most popular representation in both media and online spaces, more often than not that isn’t actually the lived experience. You just don’t see that representation as much because people with it are much less likely to talk about it due to the shame they have around it. Shame is often a major component of surviving trauma. Shame and dissociation go hand in hand. Nuance and awareness are both so important in these types of conversations. It’s sort of similar to how in the autistic community there’s a major lack of representation from nonverbal autistics, despite them making up at least 25% of the total community. The lack of representation doesn’t mean we can pretend to lack awareness of their existence.

I know you don’t believe you’re causing any harm but I’m sorry to say that you are. Which isn’t to say that no harm isn’t also being done to you. It’s just not such a black and white matter. I’m not speaking on behalf of anti-endos. I agree- it’s stupid to hate on a group of people for how they identify. I’m speaking on behalf of highly traumatized individuals who may be looking for answers and wind up getting lost and more confused.

I’m sorry if my intentions with messaging got lost in translation at all. I have a learning disability that affects my ability to process and organize language.

Thanks for the clarification, and sorry for misunderstanding your earlier post.

So let's address this.

Is this a problem?

A problem with this whole topic is, first, that I think we need to see some statistics.

And preferably recent statistics because I think identity has changed a lot in the last 40 years. Maybe there's a silent majority of people with DID who don't view themselves as multiple identities/people offline and are getting spoken over. But I would want to see evidence of that.

Even if some studies from the 80s or 90s showed that most people with DID didn't view themselves as separate people/identities, the advent of the internet age and ability to find community with others with DID likely impacted the culture around the disorder.

Even if this is the case...

Is this our problem?

End of the day, I'm a tulpa identifying as a tulpa. It seems kind of silly to me to think someone with DID would see me, a tulpa who is also plural, decide that because I'm a plural tulpa and people with DID are plural and they don't relate to me, that they can't have DID.

There are a lot of leaps there and most don't make much sense.

And all while the presentations you say are harmful are just as common in anti-endo spaces. Seriously, look at DID TikTok. Almost all anti-endo, and all presenting the way you say is a problem. And with much larger influence than myself.

So this issue, if it is an issue, isn't because of the inclusive plural community, and would clearly exist without it.

I don't think the plural label has anything to do with it.

Community Comparisons:

One of the main mantras you'll find in the plural community is that if you feel plural, you probably are plural. Every system is valid, no matter how distinct your headmates feel. Terms like "median system" were coined to denote systems who feel in between multiple and singlet, and still fall under the plural umbrella.

Meanwhile, the DID community is rife with fakeclaiming and gatekeeping of anyone who doesn't meet whatever arbitrary criteria armchair psychologists made up. All while, again, exhibiting the same types of traits you point to the plural community for. (And yes, you do say "even the DID community" does that. I just think you're underselling it a bit.)

Hard Truth: There will always be DID systems who won't relate to presentations of DID

DID, while having core traits in the way that there will be other agents or parts that can takeover, and there will be some sort of amnesia (under the DSM) is incredibly diverse in presentation.

Kluft wrote a paper outlining about 20 common presentations of DID he identified back in the 90s.

And it can only be assumed that more presentations have been identified since.

The reality is that not every presentation will be represented. Not everyone will be able to relate to every single person with their disorder. And there are going to be some people with rarer, or at least less popular presentations online or in pop culture, who are going to feel underrepresented.

Personally, I think starting from a place of "if you feel plural, you're plural" is going to benefit far more DID systems than it would harm, giving them space to explore their connections with their headmates regardless of how similar or how distinct those headmates feel.

It doesn't matter if they're people, parts, facets, voices or whatever else they decide to identify them as.

There are a lot of things that we don't relate to the majority of other plurals about. But I think the solution is to normalize being able to identify with something without necessarily having to relate to every experience under the umbrella.

#syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #plural #plurality #multiplicity #sysblr #system #systems

[genderfluid-info-blog]

Hi and thank you for your blog!

I am genderfluid. I am transmasc. I am sometimes a trans man, sometimes neutrois, sometimes androgyne, sometimes a demiboy, sometimes a rosboy, sometimes agender. The label that I've found describes me best is genderfaun.

Right now I'm struggling with the question of "should I call myself a trans man or non-binary?" Because I feel like I'm both and sometimes both at the same time... (I'm sometimes bigender, but not always... that falls under genderfluid too, right?)

Anyway, sorry this is a bit of a confused rant. I really just feel like I'm both a trans man and non-binary, and for some reason my brain thinks I have to choose one. (I don't have to, right? Yes, I'm reaching for validation. I hope that's okay. If it's not... sorry!)

Thank you for doing this <3

Love, Sonn

PS: I use both he/him and they/them pronouns.

Hi! First off, thank you so much for your kind words! It literally makes me so happy to see the amount of people enjoying my blog😭❤️

As for your questions:

1. You can call yourself whatever you want! There is not a single person on this earth who gets to dictate which label(s) you should use. Also, being a trans man and non-binary at the same is not at all contradictory (and even if it were, that would still be more than okay), you can totally use both labels at the same time!! Whoever tells you otherwise is simply wrong. You don't have to pick a label if you don't want to, you can just stick with both🫶

2. Bigender is not necessarily under the genderfluid umbrella, but it can be! If someone has two static genders, than they're bigender, but not gebderfluid. However, some bigender people either have one or two fluid gender(s), or they're fluid between their two genders, and this experience falls under the genderfluid umbrella! There is an overlap between the two labels, but they each have their own umbrella of micro labels and experiences :)

However, since your gender fluctuates between bigender and other genders, your experience is still a genderfluid one.

3. You're totally fine!! You and everyone else who reads this is more than welcome to seek validation from this blog, I'm here to spread good vibes and affirmation for my fellow genderfluid folks!! You are never a bother here Sonn <3

PS: Ich liebe deinen Namen! Sonnentau ist so ein schöner Name! Hab noch einen schönen Abend <3

#asks #genderfluid #nonbinary #transgender #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+

[icewindandboringhorror]

Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that #you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario #where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality #and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do #also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute #like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the #AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties #on people last minute lol #assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about #birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc. #ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted #AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj #I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people #I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews #or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made #surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra #m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj) #I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat #whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh #New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing #for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way #*** *** *** #< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol) #(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me) #BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you? #:0c

[knifearo]

reminder to everyone that trauma IS a valid reason to use aspec labels. "i don't know if i'm aspec or just traumatized—" protip!!! you can be both!!!! the thing about labels is that they're not immutable states of being that you're born as. they're literally just words that we use to describe our lived experiences, and if asexual or aromantic or any related label feel relevant to the way that you experience attraction, whether it's a result of trauma or not, they're there for you to use. having trauma as a cause does not invalidate the fact that someone is experiencing lesser or no attraction. that's still the aspec experience babey. use the label if you want it's there for you <3

#kissing every traumatized aspec person on the forehead. with permission of course #obviously the labels aren't gonna be right for everyone but like... #i see a lot of discussion around this topic and it's actually SO important to me to bring up every time #that labels are just little signs you put up to tell people something about yourself. #it's not an immutable unchangeable fact. it's a little sign. it's a label just like you make with a label maker. #its purpose is to be there and communicate something about your experience to the people around you. #so if you want to communicate that you don't experience attraction in an allo way! that's literally what it's there for! #really i feel like denying people access to those labels cause they weren't born that way is like. #first. an asshole move. why don't you shut the fuck up and let other people decide what they experience #second. perpetuating the idea that if you don't experience attraction you're broken? but just in a different way? #'you can experience limited/no attraction IF you're ace and born that way. otherwise you're ACTUALLY fucked up.' #'you're straight/gay/bi you're just broken right now.' actually maybe they're experiencing something that aligns with asexuality. #ever thought about that... #intent here is NOT to speak for anyone with that experience. however i meet like seven people a year who say that they're unsure #if they're aspec or just traumatized #and it's SO important to me to say that you can be both. you can use the label. your experiences are valid #whether they're internally or environmentally caused. #kiss kiss ily everybody (/aro) #<— tone indicator that indicates that i meant it aromantically #aspec #aromantic #aromanticism #aroace #arospec #aro positivity #asexual #ace pride #acespec #ace positivity #ace inclusion. turn the tables

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her. #but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core) #but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke. #like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to??? #everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those) #i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women'' #which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love) #i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it?? #even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses?? #that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger??? #and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

[mccleans]

never taking anyone's posts seriously on here anymore after seeing how many ppl say they've never been to a nightclub and they never will bc they sound toooo scaryyyy for them :( :( :(

#YOU'RE NOT A BABY YOU'RE A MAN #anyways. idk why i'm so shocked but like genuinely people on this site need to get better at not locking themselves away #and never experiencing real life for themselves. stop living through others online and claiming you lived it yourself #obviously some people have valid reasons for never having been but the ppl who just won't go bc they heard someone said they didn't like it? #this is a representation of bigger things for some of u people #maybe the fact every poll sweeps the 'never experienced life' option should mean something #i love tumblr i love it on here. but u have to live life outside too #now that i'm ancient (25) i feel like the advice i would give to younger ppl is to just experience things for yourself #and base your opinions off that. rather than off other people's opinions or what you THINK you would think of it

[freakystinky]

the way tumblr talks about medicine makes me wonder how many of us here actually have critical thinking skills

#stop trying to explain shit you know nothing about so you can frame it negatively for clout!!!! literally knock it off!!! #there are so many valid opinions but i don’t understand this and therefore it’s bad “ is NOT one of them actually #fuck it’s far from perfect but seeing people talk about people I work with every day as if they’re monsters is honestly so tiring #it’s just all over my dash #if you read something and it confuses you and that makes you angry #the solution is NOT to make a tumblr post flaming it with all of your misinformation and undereducated opinions #“it is batshit to base dx criteria on statistics “ NO IT IS NOT NO IT IS NOT NO IT IS NOT ARE YOU STUPID??????? #THIS IS STEM LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS MATH WHAT THE HELL DO YOU M E A N ????? #literally like!!! 90% of dx criteria involves statistical probability!!!! doctors prescribe statins because you are statistically likely #to develop heart disease or endure a major cardiac event #like they calculate your disease risk based on averages and so so so much data and math and shit THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!!!! #so why are you complaining about it as if you do!!!!!!!! #sorry. I know it’s in good faith for the most part but. it feels like straight entitlement to constantly complain and dog on doctors #I’m a victim of medical malpractice!!! i still show respect and understand that they’re individuals. people. human beings. #who are largely trying to help others #regardless of my personal experience with others in their field #sorry this is just a vent now #i love research I love science I love medicine please stop hating on every aspect of it and my community ty #delete later #not fandom #stinky speaks

[iamonlyhereforthefreefood]

I think if you're a queer/neurodivergent/gender non-conforming girl then there was a high chance you had a "not like other girls" phase. And obviously there is a problem with the not like other girls thing because it demonizes girls/women who are more traditionally feminine which obviously there is nothing wrong with, however I do think when you're a queer not traditionally feminine woman or girl you start to feel disconnected from what allegedly is the typical female experience. I see so many posts and memes on Instagram that will be like "men won't get this" or "all women have had this experience" and it's something you don't get or something you've never experienced. And now as an adult I tend to ignore those memes because I'm older I'm aware that women aren't a monolith and every woman experiences life differently. But when you're 15 and see things like that you start to think "well if this is the typical experience girls have then clearly I'm not like other girls". A lot of "not like other girls" memes to have this sense of superiority "other girls are sluts, I'm not" "other girls are vain, I'm not" but at the same time I've seen plenty of memes that seem self deprecating and almost like they come from this place of isolation. I think a lot of girls who had a not like other girls phase really felt disconnected from their peers and those memes were a coping mechanism. I think most people outgrew the not like other girls phase because they grew up and met other women who were neurodivergent and/or queer, grew up and met other women with similar interests and hobbies, grew up and met other women who also had "not like other girls" phases as a result of feeling isolated in high school.

I'm not like other girls, because women aren't a monolith and I'm my unique own person, just like every other woman. I'm also similar to so many other women. I have so many hobbies and experiences that other women share, including the experience of being 15 and thinking you're broken for not fitting into society's idea of what it means to be a girl.

#long rambly post #not like other girls #it's almost 3 in the morning and a lot of this is stream of consciousness #but i just have a lot of thoughts about the not like other girls thing #because i feel like so much of society's idea of womanhood is very heteronormative and focused around femininity #which can feel isolating if you can't relate to it #and being neurodivergent on top of that... oh boy... #like as much as people want to pretend otherwise there isn't actually any real defined 'female experience' #but when you're told there is you start to feel very “oh i'm not like other girls” when you can't relate #idk i just think we as a society need to start differentiating between women who throw other women under the bus for male validation #and like a queer autistic girl who feels isolated because she can't relate to this mythical idea of the 'female experience' #that isn't actually real but that some people seem to think is #and now i've started to see people be called pick me girls for not being gender conforming #even though they weren't throwing other women under the bus #idk it's gotta stop

[caffeinatedopossum]

I'm ngl, even though I know there's nothing wrong with being autistic, sometimes I really hate it.

I hate the anxiety, I hate the alienation, I hate all the things I don't know how to do because my whole life I've been taught how to do things in a way I can't. I've had to put in twice as much effort just to adapt my own way of doing things and I STILL feel like I'm always falling behind. I hate that even when people are super accommodating and kind and ask what they can do to help me, I don't actually know. I still don't know what helps.

I always feel confused, like no matter how much I try to participate, I still never know what's going on. It feels like the whole world is keeping a secret from me. So I retreat to my own world but it's lonely there and I'm not always great company. Sometimes it feels like all I can do is quietly contain myself as I struggle.

#sorry random rant again #its just really gettung to me lately #ive always been told i cant actually be autistic #and now that im around people who actually believe me #and ill be able to actually seek out diagnosis and other resources #its great in a lot of ways. im so much happier and more myself than ever before #i used to always question if i was 'faking' or mistaken and now that i have more people validating my experiences #i dont feel that as much anymore #and the thing thats replaced that imposter syndrome now is all the anxiety #along with trying to tell people i think im autistic there was also a lot of anxiety about how it was affecting me #but that anxiety was always dismissed along with the autism #so now all that anxiety has been validated too and i never learned how to cope with it #only how to dismiss it and shove it all down and ignore it #like i have no way to disprove my anxieties because they seem to be... real

[doctorweebmd]

both zero-sum and the litany of love and loss were concepts that possessed me and would not not get out of my head until i wrote them but i have wastly different feelings about both of these stories despite loving them equally

#I love both of these works but I hated writing litany of love and loss. does that make sense #both of these pieces have the same amount of love and dedication #arguable skill-wise and imagery-wise a litany of love and loss is better #like running for fun vs running away from a zombie horde or something #technically you are doing the same thing. you’re probably even running faster with the zombie horde #but the context of that activity is endlessly different #…there’s been a weird few days we’re people have been commenting on zero sum #which makes me really really happy #but also nostalgic for it. I loved the story and writing it and interacting with people while writing it #everything that came after it has been a much different much less satisfying experience #in other news the path to paradise is both more fun and more interesting than both of the above stories #but I fear the fact that so few people are reading it takes away some of that external validation fun #now it’s all internal validation. lol. and the 3 really nice people who read and comment #we are honestly always our own worst enemies #I don’t compare my writing against other peoples (<- is lying) #but competing against myself is always a problem #just that weird feeling like despite the fact that you’ve grown and hopefully improved as a writer #there are some stories and concepts people are going to feel captured by and some that aren’t #tbh I know most fic readers don’t come into it being like ‘what is the most well written or interesting piece?’ #I tout zero sum game but a large proportion of people reading it do it only because it’s exclusively dkbk #which I have my own feelings about. mostly negative. #anyway…. I’m so thankful for people #for still reading or caring about anything I’m writing… #…..eh #anyway does anyone else feel like this #or am I just thinking too much about everything all the time #haha #anyway I’m being sentimental because once again I am #night shift is…. yeah

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you. #I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible. #I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me. #I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth. #I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely. #I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin #I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't... #I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it #or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away... #to this day... #I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again #I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that. #I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY #that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back #that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed. #“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again. #By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant. #I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did. #The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement. #Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF. #You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do. #I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha #No I do not look at your blogs. #The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one. #I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel #safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time. #I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore. #And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry... #I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too... #vent