#kinda want to draw something based around this but haven't figured out what

[unsat-and-strange]

jonny d'villes heart ticks audibly. the crew can hear it during the few and far between quiet moments on board the aurora. it's so steady, tick tick tick, a reminder that he is there and they are all alive together, never speeding up or slowing down. sometimes they joke about using it as a metronome during practice.

jonnys heart ticks. he can hear it every waking moment. tick tick tick. it never slows down, even in the deepest sleep according to the rest of the crew. it never speeds up even when his blood is more adrenaline then actual blood, times when normal peoples hearts would be racing. whether he's laughing his ass off or terrified for his life (I guess old habits die hard?) it. never. speeds. up. sometimes it's fine, he can ignore it but there are days when the constant tick tick tick tick tick tick tick is too much. the days when he has to drown out the sound with gunfire and screams or music loud enough to make his ears bleed. some days even that barely cuts it and he debates putting a bullet in his head just to make it quiet for a few hours. the rest of the crew has gotten pretty good at recognizing those days, and they know how to help him get through them, just like he knows how to help his crew through their bad days. nastya will bring him into the near deafening engine room and theyll play with power tools until their hands are covered in grease and grit, or Tim will sit him down on a speaker and play the bass so loud the whole ship can feel it, or Marius and raphaella will tell him about unethical medical practices they've witnessed/performed or Brian will just hold him close until the rhythms of the metal man's body distract from the tick tick tick tick of his own heart. the constant tick of immortality is loud. jonny can't deny his luck in finding a crew that is almost always louder.

#ebb rambles #the mechanisms #sorry guys jonny got into my brain #ending feels kinda weird I think I had this better worded in my head but hey whatever I guess #jonny dville #should I tags this for body horror? maybe a little? #body horror #I saw some post about how Tim's eyes should be unsettling and I've been kinda inspired with the idea of unsettling mechs #when my thoughts on the subject are a bit more in order I'll make a coherent post about it but for now you get jonny and his heart :) #kinda want to draw something based around this but haven't figured out what #ebb writes some stuff #poetry #kinda #I guess #should probably tag the other mechs I mentioned lol #gunpowder tim #nastya rasputina #marius von raum #raphaella la cognizi #drumbot brian

[deemizer]

The Selfish and the Selfless

Warnings: adhd and autism talk, typical criminal minds violence possible idk, insecurities? panic attack mentions and one experience, though idk how to describe what i go through since feelings are foreign to me.

Parings: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

A/N: i got high and realized my adhd is worse and better when i'm this relaxed. idk man, i was cleaning and thought of this. i base most of the reader's issues as how i perceive them, though with my (possible autism since i haven't been professionally diagnosed) i don't understand what feelings are happening, like i need an owner's manual to navigate, understand and name each feeling. sorry, long rant, but in my defense, i'm high. idk if virgina has legalized marijuana or not, but let's just pretend the did for the sake of this fic.

---

Dating Aaron Hotchner was nice. Great, even. You often had doubts about why he loved you, especially since you started feeling constantly on edge, skin itchy, kinda uncomfortable. You knew why, but you wouldn't risk Aaron finding out. You didn't want to make him decide whether he wants Jack around weed or not, so you stopped smoking to relax just a couple of days before you went on your first date with Aaron. It's been a little over a month (38 days, 23 minutes, and 56, 57, 58 seconds, but who's counting?) and knowing Aaron's career and abilities that come with the job, you figure he knew something was wrong the minute the withdraws starting hitting you.

Not working at the BAU was probably a good thing, as people raising their voice often makes you go into a panic attack. You started working from home, doing a third shift computer job. That way, if Aaron ever needs an emergency babysitter, you're open. You can take him to school, sleep, go pick him up, and have a fun night before bed with the baby Hotchner, then go back to work again.

Jack loved your American Staffordshire Terrier, Layla. She was so gentle with Jack, and like you, she protects Jack like he is her own son. Aaron was weary about Layla given he hadn't been around many bully breed dogs, but the second he walked into the door, Layla chose him as her new person. She still protected you, but he was her favorite. And she typically didn't like men besides your grandfather .

You had had enough, and since you knew Aaron shouldn't be around as he was at work and probably wouldn't be home till well into the night, and Jack was with Jessica today and tomorrow, you took a couple of hits from the Snail battery and the highly potent cartridge. You haven't done so in so long, that even though you had medication that slowed the effect for a good ten minutes, you could already tell the high was going to be good. Layla walked behind you as you walked around the house, randomly moving on from chore to chore without finishing the previous, bopping your head along to the speaker you have for your spotify playlist.

You had given Aaron and Jack a key to your two bedroom house, which is probably why you didn't hear Aaron walk in, nor did you realize that Layla was no longer behind you. Hands wrap around you from behind, and you squeak loudly and flinch slightly as you startle.

"What the- Aaron! You scared the shit outta me!" You pant, forgetting about the hits and the more twitchy you are with a full body and mind relaxation.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Didn't mean to scare... you. What's that smell?" Aaron starts sniffing the air, and you can almost feel your face drain of color.

"Uh, what smell?" You ask, trying to keep your voice even. Attempting to take a step back, though Aaron's grip on your forearms stops you and draws his attention to you.

"What's wrong?" His eyebrows raise slightly in concern, though his frown deepens.

You can start to feel your breath quicken, as though you've been holding your breath for far too long. Your arms start to clench up, and cross to hold your chest. Hands forming a tight, white-knuckle fist, and your shoulders tense up to your ears.

"I uh, I'm sorry," Your voice is weak, and you start to tear up from both panic and embarrassment. This is the last thing you wanted to show him.

"Why are you sorry? Are you," He pauses, eyes working up and down to profile you. "You have autism."

You almost snort, forgetting your panic for a second. ADHD and being high does that to you. "Yeah. I told you on our second date. When we had a movie night at yours with Jack."

"You don't usually react this much. What happened? Are you okay?" His words cause you to sigh. Might as well get this over with.

"I smoke marijuana sometimes, when I'm overly stressed, or need a day to relax, go to sleep. Plus, with ADHD and autism, there's a thing called masking. I've done it for my entire life, without knowing I was masking, and without being able to take off the mask. So when I'm high, it calms my mind enough so that I can't wear the mask, and then in turn get to enjoy in having ADHD and autism, because it feels more natural. I stopped because of you and Jack. I could do without getting high so I didn't risk losing either of you. You mean more than my unmasking. I don't change my personality, other than shy till I know you, type of deal. Just the tics, forgetting words immediately, doing random things." You take a breath, which is shaky. You start to loosen slightly, given the fact that his frown has almost become a thin line. He doesn't seem angry, that of which you could tell.

You keep your hands gripping the opposite shoulder, but most everything else looses tension. He seems to sense the anxiety and relief, because he tries to smile, succeeding in only lifting one corner of his lips.

"Honey, I appreciate the thought of keeping Jack away from it, but that doesn't mean you have to stop feeling comfortable with yourself. I don't really mind, though we can discuss the details later. Is that the reason you've been slightly down lately?" You bite your lips and nod at his question, looking down to your feet that touch Aaron's toes in his work shoes.

"I uh, thought that if you couldn't be with me because of it, I would stop and it wouldn't bother me. I haven't been in a good state of mind, and I didn't really know how you'd react. I can't really judge things like that anyway. I just didn't want to loose the one good thing I feel like I've earned. Being lonely and touch starved really messes with one's mind. Being an introvert doesn't help either." You scratch your neck, kind of nervous to look up.

His hand comes up to your jaw, and you lean into it, the nerves firing with his touch. Being high makes your senses more sensitive.

"I don't mind, if this is what makes you feel happier, and more comfortable." Aaron says, thumb rubbing your cheek softly.

Smiling inro his hand and nuzzling your nose into the heel, you say, "I promise I won't do it all the time. I usually just do it when I'm alone, so I can be free and not bother anyone. I won't ever do it in front of or be around him when I'm high. It's not an escape, just something for the really off days."

"I know, you don't need to worry about that. You're too selfless to worry about yourself when Jack or I are around. I'm just glad to know you do stuff for yourself." He pulls you into a hug, resting his chin on your head, and his arms around your shoulders. His touch feels so relaxing and warm, and you just melt into him.

Thank whatever power above that Aaron fell for you just as you did for him. There's nothing you wouldn't do for your boys. Seems the feeling is mutual.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner angst #criminal minds

[peoplepersonoaktree]

Is this how I reply to comments like this? Idk. Anyway~

@banana-pancake5 if you actually wanted me to answer this, here-

HOLY CRAP THIS IS GONNA BE LONG-

Hopefully not too long- I'll try not to rant too much, we'll se tho

so, the Au is your basic, “what if Mikey wasn’t able to open a portal?” Au, which has been done a whole lot, I know, but oh well. I’ve been working on it since like, July and I’ve only gotten to pg 19, so idk if I’ll ever finish it.

so, one day, in like, mid June, when I first started actually trying to draw the turtles, I started drawing a thing in this little baby sketchbook I have, based on the song “Georgia” by Jonah Kagen. And then I sent it to my friend. And then it grew and we eventually came up with this and this entire storyline. We just kinda plotted this thing out where like, two weeks after the invasion, Donnie starts getting these weird visions of Leo in the prison dimension because why not, and tries to get him back with Casey's help or whatever because he thinks that these visions mean that Leo's still alive. Here’s the original pictures because I think they can be in here-

Idk. I didn’t know how to draw clothes and still don’t 😃👍

I don’t think I’ll ever post the comic on tumblr or anywhere because I probably won’t ever finish it, but if I get to a certain point in the comic, (which is way far away) maybe I will. Idk.

*Cough* and then I also have a mini thing where I turned them all into mushroom people but that's a whole different thing-

NOW TO THE KID’S SHOW WHICH IS THE PART I’M ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT~

Like I said in this post, my friend texted me at like, 2 am on a school night, and was like, "Hey, hey hey... wanna write and animate a kid's show w/ me??" and I said heck yeah because I definitely have time for that. I asked her if she had any idea for what it would be about or anything like that and she did not, so we just kinda... pulled something out of the ground the next day and I ended up getting obsessed.

So, the kid's show...

We haven't figured out a name for it because we're both indecisive, which is... bad if you're trying to get something done. But we got characters and half a storyline settled!

So, the show is centered around four main characters, Atlas (A deer), Fern (A fox), Nutmeg (Mouse), and M I L D R E D (a chickadee). They're also in the post linked above.

The show would be about these four, going on little adventures, exploring the forest where they live, discovering odd creatures (thinking about adding in a few Acorn Creetchurs because that would be fun) and just living life

but as the series continues, the colors start to get more muted and the backgrounds start to get more gray, as if the life is being drained out of the forest.

one day, while exploring, they come upon this odd sort of... black goop that's spreading across the forest floor, infecting and killing everything it comes into contact with. Then, the four of them have to find a way to stop the spread of this odd goop. This goop represents pollution/deforestation, and we have a few ideas for how the goop started, one of my favorites being that it's controlled by some sort of animal spirit that grew up in a heavily polluted area and died at a young age because of the conditions and the only reason it's spreading is because it wants to be able to breathe fresh air and drink clean water for once, but it can't, because everything it touches immediately becomes polluted.

We both went into this knowing absolutely N O T H I N G about animating, so it'll probably be a few years until we're actually able to do anything with this, if we do anything with it.

That- that little animation is the most I can do with animation. That's the best I got.

#holy crap that's a lot- #I hope this is everything #hopefully it's not just my adhd rambling an it actually makes sense #idk how to draw deer guys #art #sketch #my art #rottmnt #acorn creetchurs #rottmnt au #kid's show #atlas the deer #nutmeg the mouse #fern the fox #mildred the chickadee #I also don't know how to draw birds #animation #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rise of the tmnt #digital art #i hate tags sm #that's enough I think #I might delete this because I hate my ramblings- #Acorn ramble #posting this late so I go to sleep and can't check tumblr every 2 mins to see if anything happened-

[kahvilahuhut]

wip questions tag

thank you @sunset-a-story for tagging me!!!!!!! (and sorry it took me a while sjfjfjfjfj)

tagging @void-botanist @avi-why @televisionjester and anyone else who wants to do this :3

1. What was the first part of your WIP that you created?

Worldbuilding!!! I've always loved Mars (influenced by Doom probably? i just think it's neat :]) and the idea of a whole society on Mars is just very cool for me. All the possibilities and things that can go wrong. And the political debates.......

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the intro song be?

HMMMMM this one is hard bc i absolutely su k at picking music for story playlists and this is waaaaaay harder. I think I would love it to be instrumental or smth tho!

That said I would soooo much rather have it become a video game, and and if I were to pick a song for a trailer I'd go with either Black Mambo by Glass Animals or something from Depeche Mode. My brain is currently telling me to go with "Pain That I'm Used To" but I wouldn't say it fits Cynosure that well KFKKFFKFKFK

3. Who are your favourite character(s) and why?

Tobyyyyyyy <3 I love him so much he is such a...guy. He's some guy. A chemist who has spent a bit too much reading his dad's books about social theory and stuff since he was a child. All he wants is that people would be happy and he has so much love to give for the world, which mostly means him helping people a lot (people pleaser guy). Tobias isn't really that special, he wants to do something he likes, he's scared of guns (for a reason) and just wants a calm new life. Too bad that's not happening for a while.

To think he started as a copy of Nathan I made for a The Outer Worlds playthrough and then it all kinda turned into a bigger thing and he became his own self and I just decided to pull him + Klara & others out of being fandom ocs and put them into Cynosure.

putting the rest of questions under read more <3

4. What other pieces of media could share a fan base with your WIP?

HMMMM I'd say basically any kind of scifi book that has some societal themes in it + has some comedy and stuff. Same for video games maybe?

5. What has been your biggest struggle while writing your WIP?

I'm going to be honest I haven't really started writing Cynosure yet JFBBFBFFKF

My biggest struggle is having a job and being a master's student basically hehe

6. Are there any animals in your story?

Haven't really figured out if I'd want to showcase Mars wildlife in it + what kind of wildlife would it be, BUUUUT!!! There's definitely Klara & Toby's cat, Melody. She's a lil tabby cat :3

7. How do your characters get around?

I'm a public transport fan so I'm putting public transport into my wip!!!! I'd say Mars has lots of fancy trains and the ocean area has ships. Buses, too, though probably not what Cynosure characters will end up using.

There's also cars and motorcycles, though they're hovering instead of having wheels. Mars terrain sucks for wheels.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Figuring out the plot + finishing up worldbuilding <3

9. What aspects of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

Hmmmm! I'd love to say worldbuilding or like, whatever is going on in Mars power struggles. Making fun of capitalism too (i'm a social scientist), maybe even the characters? Who knows :^)

#💥 cynosure #tag game #writeblr #writeblr wip

[wordsbymae]

The Killer Alphabet 18+

Hi everyone! Hope everyone is feeling good! I wasn't going to do one of these for this (disgusting) guy but you guys seem to enjoy my previous alphabets for The Mad King and Eli, and I have some time to kill so I thought why not. I really wanted to try something different with this guy compared to the traditional slashers you see in movies, please feel free to tell me if it worked or not!

Also If you haven't noticed I haven't given too much description to any of my OCs, I do have images of what they look like in my head but I'll leave it up to you guys what they look like to you (mainly cause I can't draw for shit). I do see him as Mario Casas in 'The skin of the wolf' but like I said I really don't mind what they look like to you. Also, I don't have a name for this man cause it didn't really make sense in my mind for him to have one so he'll be known as Killer. Once again this is based on @/dear-yandere original template.

Also, I hope I don't need to say this but I will just in case, I do not condone these sorts of actions!!! Or any actions in any of my work. This is pure fiction.

TW: Murder, violence, blood, Killer being aroused by a scene in a movie of a man kissing a woman but this is because it's from the golden era of film (1915-1963). Also please don't judge, I tried doing smut again but I am kinda insecure with how it turned out :/ Male Masturbation. Old-timey Pornography, not in much detail. reader described as pretty. Implied Non-con. Physical harm to reader - breaking bones, branding. Reader has sex with another person, who is then promptly killed. Please use discretion!!!

Minors turn away now, please!

Let's get into it!

This man scares me, not even kidding. Like he gives me the absolute creeps. The drabble this is based on is here.

Before we go into the meat of it, I want to flesh out an important character point. His whole character and personality kinda revolve around one thing. He is obsessed with movies from the golden era of film, especially the ones where the guy gets the girl. I like to think that his cabin wasn't always his, that he stumbled upon it wandering the woods, maybe after a run-in from the law, or even just travelling from his previous shelter to find a new one. And when Killer moves in (murders the old man living there) he is confused to find an old film and a projector set up. After accidentally getting it to work he is amazed by the pretty images floating on the wall. And the moment the man kisses the leading lady? He is baffled, flabbergasted. Where was the blood? The violence, the murder, the guts and gore being spread on screen?

This was the first time he saw physical interaction between people that didn't end with someone screaming, crying or bleeding. And man was he obsessed. He would rewatch that old film, over and over and over just so he could watch the few seconds where the two actors kissed. And I mean over and over again. He practically melted the film with how many times he played it. But he just couldn't help it, he was desperate to recreate this funny feeling in his gut he got every time the actor gripped the actress's waist or connected their lips. This feeling increased with each new rewatch, it went from just a feeling in his gut to taking a physical form in the shape of his pulsing member straining against the worn fabric of his pants (I see him in dark blue jeans but that is just my whorish side talking).

And when the pain got too much and he reached into his pants to check for injuries??? The moment he touched his dick for the first time when aroused?? He practically came right then and there. So after a few trial runs, he finally figures out how masturbation works (yes he is a 30/40ish-year-old virgin, fight me in the maccas carpark)

And that changes everything!! After melting the original film (he is still upset he destroyed it, there's a fist-shaped hole in the wall), he was able to figure out how to add another film from the massive collection the old man has hidden in a backroom (he's more careful with them now), and when the next kissing scene comes up? You bet he's got his hand in his pants and he's rutting into his palm desperately. And then comes his favourite actor!!! He just loves the way they move, the way their skin looks so soft and touchable, so grabbable. And especially the way their hands would look just delightful covered in blood. And they are so lucky! This actor seemed to be a big hit in the old days and a personal favourite of the old man, so there are countless films with them as the leading actor or as the romantic interest. Now he just can't help himself. Instead of just taking care of himself during the kissing scenes, he now has to pleasure himself whenever the actor comes on screen (it's a lot).

Now here is where it gets interesting. Firstly, you come onto the scene. It was your first trip to the camping site with your friends and you were a little nervous, but it was going to be such fun!. Your best friend hadn't been in a while, not since childhood, but how different could it be? It was safe back then so why not now? Surely the dozens of missing hikers were just people getting lost, dehydrated or injured? It had nothing to do with the slasher who had moved into the area, who hated people interrupting his personal time.

Ok so on the last night of the trip, spotlight started. You've run deep into the woods (far too deep) and have found a nice little hiding spot. The woods were filled with screams and laughter and yelling. It was so loud in fact it disrupted Killer from watching his nightly film. It was so loud he decided that the only reasonable way to regain peace and quiet would be to rip the tongue out of every one of these stupid little mutts. Unfortunately for you, he came across you first. You were crouching with your back towards him and your face hidden in the darkness. Now despite his size Killer can be quite the sneak, so you had no idea there was a murderer planning on planting an axe in your head. Just as he planned to jump out, you happened to turn your head at the right moment as the moonlight passed the clouds, and he was able to get a look at your face from his hiding space. Fortunately for you (but unfortunately in 4 years' time), you looked almost exactly like his favourite actor. He was so mesmerised and in awe of your resemblance that he was more than happy to let you slip away into the darkness. From then on he followed you throughout the night.

In doing so he found out so much about you! Like how you jumped and whimpered whenever you heard a sound from the darkness (so much like the bunnies he skinned with his trusty knife!), how you looked so good in that dark red jumper you wore, how pretty and soft he imagined your skin to be, and how you might even be better than the actor on his screen because you were there right in front of him, in the flesh.

So began his obsession with you!! How lucky he was that you returned every single year! It made him so happy to follow you around like a little puppy that he would even forget to torment the hikers near his cabin. He was just so painfully shy when it came to you though. Putting an axe through someone's chest cavity was easy when you didn't have to talk to them. But he wanted to talk to you and maybe even kiss you!! So he was happy for the next two years to just follow you around for a week before you drove away (not before he pinched some of your things- he needed to remember your scent till next year).

But!!! The few weeks leading up to your fourth (and final visit) were a bit different. He didn't pleasure himself often anymore with the sight of his favourite actor, instead, he would now think of you or smell some of your clothes he pinched, or when the actor was on screen he pretended they were you and he was the leading man gripping your waist. But, when looking for a new film to watch ( I wasn't lying when I said the collection was massive) he came across a box he hadn't seen before. Putting one of the films on he was shocked to see what came on screen. The people were doing a lot more than just kissing. It almost looked like the struggles he was used to when he strangled his victims, there were a lot more limbs going places and a lot more grunts and groans ( i don't know how the sound systems work for old projectors but it gonna work for us). But this was different, there was no blood, just two people rutting against each other. And no one died at the end? huh

Instead, he watched as hands travelled over their skin and up shirts, as the man flipped his partner over and ground his hips against their ass and how good it looked to finally have something soft to rut against instead of his callous hands.

If he thought the subtle grabs and light kissing were arousing this sent him over the edge. All these new things he could now imagine doing with you! But why leave it to the imagination? He had spent the last 3 years fixing the cabin where it might be somewhere you could live (and couldn't leave, don't want his little bunny to run). He fixed the walls, the windows, the roofs, and he even added some chains! This year was going to be the year he brought you home, his pretty bunny!

He had it all planned out, he would corner you during the spotlight game and give you pretty flowers and maybe even do the thing the people in the new film do with your hand around his cock! How exciting! No one had to get hurt, he saw how much those mutts meant to you, so he would let them live, even if it would be painful to not crack their skulls.

He had it all planned out! until he watched your boyfriend shove his cock into your mouth. Then he got a bit mad.

And we all know how that ended, don't we?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A = Affection (How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?)

He shows his love in bloody, violent ways. He doesn't talk much, like at all, so his actions are everything. Skinned, still warm, rabbits laying on your pillow, leaving a bit of a mess. They make a perfect stew and the fur can make lovely gloves! The heart of a fox is gifted to you inside a worn wooden trinket box. So you know you have his heart! His victim's still bloody and torn clothes as a gift for all your good behaviour. He doesn't understand why the blood is a bad thing.

On the other hand, he worships old movies, most of which show courting and wooing. He'll pick you flowers and push in your chair, he'll give you rings he finds on his victims and try to slow dance with you in his make-shift living room (his feet are just too big, but he does get better though).

However, don't think just because you are his pretty thing he won't show his love in harsher ways. Gripping your wrist tight until you can almost feel the bones break when he gets a little too excited slow dancing. Tugging on your hair (if you have hair) and forcing you to sit still as he brushes it (even though you tell him you can't brush your hair type dry - I've got curly hair, I would hate this!!), leaving you to wince as he hits knots with the brush. He forces pretty clothes he found on you, gets annoyed when you say no (the actors in his films never said no to their partners) and holds you down on the thin mattress as he rips your old clothes on to manhandle you into your new ones. He forces you into a lot of things but I'll get into that later. Even though you might be crying and begging for him to stop, he still sees his actions as a form of love and just can't comprehend he's doing something wrong.

B = Blood (How messy are they willing to get when it comes to you?)

Extremely bloody!!!! Blood everywhere man. He doesn't need an excuse for him to go straight for his axe. I do think he would go for a slower death for someone who he thinks wrongs you. His greatest regret (besides not bringing you home kidnapping you sooner) is letting your boyfriend off with a somewhat quick death

C = Cruelty (How would they treat you once abducted? Would they mock you?)

Oh yeah, baby, he is cruel!!!! Not in verbal ways but physically. I mentioned before he grips your wrist too tight and that's when he's happy! When he is actually trying to cause you damage I see him do it as a way of punishment, he's not going to beat you for the fun of it, remember he loves those movies and he tries desperately to live the life he sees in it, so when you do something he doesn't like (like saying no or really any small thing) I see him using his leather belt (actually it was the old man's). But are you trying to run away or actively hurt him? Oh boy. I definitely see him as the sort to break a few fingers or even brand/carve his name into your back. But that's for real bad bunnies who try to runaway.

D = Darling (Aside from abduction, would they do anything against your will?)

Yep yep yep. The man is trying to recreate life from an era when consent was practically non-existent, especially between married couples (which he sees you as). And also he just doesn't care. He'll force you to dance awkwardly with him, he'll force you to bathe in front of him, change in front of him, masturbate in front of him, touch him (in more than one place), and force you to kiss him. Also, he doesn't speak often, if at all, only really to say things like:

bad bunny

good bunny

silly bunny

naughty bunny

pretty thing

soft

stay

no

yes

mine

touch me

so it takes you a long time to figure out his non-verbal clues to save yourself from his wrath.

E = Exposed (How much of their heart do they bare to you? How vulnerable are they when it comes to you?)

What heart? This man feels like 6 emotions: Blood lust, normal lust, hunger (Not even an emotion), thirst (still not an emotion), contentment and obsessive love towards you. So no, no vulnerability from this guy.

F = Fight (How would they feel if you fought back?)

Angry, to the point where he might break a few fingers to remind you bunnies don't have claws. (they literally do but he doesn't know that - neither do I apparently)

G = Game (Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching you try to escape?)

Not a game, but a massive delusional mess. He actually thought that the picnic blanket set up was for him. He thought that your boyfriend was forcing you to do all those things (he wasn't) and all your cries of pleasure were just cries. He had to wait till the spotlight game though, even if he wanted to butcher your boyfriend then and there. That game was how you first met and he wanted everything to be special. So yeah when he saw you put out all those rose petals he was adamant they were for him, it's why he brought you back there for your first time together. He even washed his hands for you! He didn't want you to get mad at all the blood, how sweet :( He really thought as well that what you did was sex, unfortunately for you, he learns really soon what sex is.

The only time I see him wanting to play games is when he lets you go so he can chase after you through the woods or even play a version of spotlight! (it is just him playing hide and go seek, and you running for your life). That really gets his blood pumping. It's sad, cause you think that this might be the time you get away and that you won't be shoved to the ground on your hands and knees getting railed from behind.

run bunny

H = Hell (What would be your worst experience with them?)

Besides watching your boyfriend get killed? There are so many. Losing your virginity to him on the thin mattress, him breaking your finger when you try to slash him with his knife he left lying around (he actually thought he could trust you-naughty bunny), you watching from the window as he drags a hiker that tried to escape back to the front yard to kill them slowly (you couldn't look at him for days and you would sob every time you caught a glimpse of some blood still under his fingernails) or what about the time he kidnapped an unsuspecting camper and forced the two of you to have sex just so he can see if he's been doing it wrong. After the camper finishes, they are promptly killed while you sit on the bed sobbing watching it all unfold in the living room. I have so many more.

I = Ideals (What kind of future do they have in mind for/with you?)

I don't really know, I don't think he does either. I personally would like to say, like I have for my last two OCS, something to do with breeding and a slight housewife kink but that's just cause I'm a virgin whore. But I did say I would try to keep the reader gn for this one, so I really don't know. I think he would just want you to stay his, in his cabin till the police drag him out or until you both die. (feel free to add your five cents! I would love to hear your thoughts)

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?)

It's strange because I did say he let someone fuck you but then killed them. I don't think he gets jealous the way normal people do, as in afraid their partner would leave them or sees the other person as a threat. He doesn't see them as a threat he just sees them as a loose end and a distraction for you from him. Even your boyfriend was killed out of annoyance and delusion that you needed saving of sorts.

K = Kisses (How do they act around you?)

Like a massive murder puppy, heart eyes and everything (as long as you say yes to everything and never say no)

L = Love letters (How would they go about courting or approaching you?)

Very much the same as affection, lots of bloody gifts and lots of flowers and trinkets he stole from dead bodies.

M = Mask (Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?)

Not really, he just doesn't want to kill you or cause irreversible damage. He is still silent and broody and still scares the shit out of you, except of course he also acts like a love-sick puppy.

N = Naughty (How would they punish you?)

I mentioned this one a few times now, but breaking bones, branding, using his belt, chaining you up to the headboard of the bed, or keeping an ankle chain on you,

O = Oppression (How many rights would they take away from you?)

your right to freedom and privacy, you can't change your undies without this man standing like 2 cm behind you

P = Patience (How patient are they with you?)

no patience at all, if he makes the sign for you to sit on his lap during movie night, and you hesitate or worse straight out say no? Your getting punished for sure

Q = Quit (If you die, leave, or successfully escape, would they ever be able to move on?)

He would probably just do what he has always done and murder people in the woods, but he would be way more aggressive about it if that's even possible. Leaving is a big no-no, he has moved places before and you can bet your top dollar that this woodland slasher will become your not-so-friendly neighbourhood slasher real quick

R = Regret (Would they ever feel guilty about abducting you? Would they ever let you go?)

Nope!!! He's having the time of his life

S = Stigma (What brought about this side of them [childhood, curiosity, etc]?)

He's a murderous manic what more do you want from me

T = Tears (How do they feel about seeing you scream, cry, and/or isolate yourself?)

he would confuse crying during sex to mean good things and screaming to just be annoying (if during sex, he thinks it means he's doing it right), if you scream outside of sex he wouldn't have the patience and would just punish you then and there. His pet peeve is victims who scream. Isolating? He wouldn't really mind, as long as he can still manhandle you to do things he wants you to do, I really don't think he would care if you never spoke again.

U = Unique (Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?)

nothing i can think of

V = Vice (What weakness can you exploit in order to escape?)

His naivety. yes, I said what I said. This guy doesn't know anything about relationships or sex, or the modern world in general, so if you tell (beg) him to close his eyes cause you have a surprise for him that might involve you on your knees, he will gladly close his eyes and not even notice it has been ten minutes since you've made a sound till he gets bored and opens his eyes to the window jimmied open and you gone.

W = Wit’s end (Would they ever physically hurt you?)

hahaha yes. read above

X = Xoanon (How much would they revere or worship you? To what length would they go to win you over?)

Yeah, I do think he sees you as this soft, pretty creature that sometimes reminds him of a life before the blood. But not to the point of getting on his knees. Oh no no. Only bunnies get on their knees.

Y = Yearn (How long do they pine after you before they snap?)

This boy has been pining for you for years!! he had a dedicated box where he would put scraps of clothes of yours, flowers you touched, jewellery of yours, pieces of your hair, anything he could get his hands on! Even a polaroid picture your friend took of you on your 2nd trip, just don't ask why it's sticky. He "snapped" when he saw your boyfriend fucking your mouth but he had been planning on taking you anyway so I guess as soon as he saw you.

Z = Zenith (Would they ever break you?)

sure thing! Physically, mentally, and emotionally, this guy just does not care.

#oc #oc yandere #killer #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere #yandere drabble #dub con #tw violence #yandere alphabet #should i write smut for him? #probs gonna #sorry its a bit short #its a bit late at night and I have class at 8am #gn!reader #yandere prompts #gn!reader yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x gn reader #tw noncon

[luimagines]

I had a little idea, imagine if the hero of courage reader met the chains reincarnations (animal) or ghost as a kid and grew up through their advice as well as gained bits and pieces of the chain’s era. Like casually dropping an embarrassing thing that one of the links did and realizing how a machine/ object worked before the others do. (Ghost legend teaching hero!reader how to be on their toes and teaching some easy magic spells or maybe an older wolfie (could be centuries old, who knows) playing and protecting them from danger until hero!reader is old enough to protect themselves.

It depends on how old hero!reader is but I’m going with the idea of at least a 10yr old based on what I’ve put

Ghost time could be a menace with the cuccos and teach hero!reader how to fly with them for a bit, probably teaching them about the

Wars would help them practice with a wooden sword and guide the proper way to hold it but will also read to them if asked (I live for older brother wars headcannon sue me/j)

Sky would most likely take naps and tell the small hero about skyloft as well as the loftwings, explain the sword on his back and fondly talk about fi, maybe throw in a few stories about himself and his friends to calm them down a bit

I feel like Wind would play pirates with hero! reader and get them in all kinds of trouble that’s it, either that or actively get them to sail in a small pond nearby or get them to build a tiny boat (that’s absolutely not made of paper and lots of tape) to see if it’ll float

Wild and Hyrule would probably help them explore more and have fun that way while also keeping them safe (and even make friends with a few fairies); Hyrule being the most protective because “holy shi- how do I not let them die” or him delving into his insecurities and thinking the kid is bored and wants to leave only to be proven wrong when they ask what the fairies are saying/doing with a giant grin on their face

Legend would try to be protective and/or leave them alone, at least until hero!reader reaches out to him and drags him off on an adventure around the house/ village (it only lasts until hero!reader gets hungry and has to go home)

Four would most likely teach hero!reader about the Minish / Picori as well as explain what happened to them, probably showing them how to find kinstones (igf they’re around in hero!reader’s hyrule)

First would probably be awkward around hero!reader for a bit or at least watch over them while they play with their toys until hero!reader looks at him and offers to play/ draw with them

If hero!reader sees the master sword for the first time and reaches out, I feel like one of the chain members would try to stop them (leaning towards time/ wild) so they could live out their childhood and have fun a bit longer

This kinda stemmed from my thoughts from a few posts of work with a few of the ghost Zelda’s and links meeting and talking to Flora and Wild mixed with a fic where wild encounters the ghost version of the chain and meets with them when the events of linked universe take place, same with reading through the “little link” tag on your blog mainly based off the second and third reasons. Anyway have my little brainrot

(If it’s okay, can I be bird anon if there isn’t one already? If there is I could be mushroom anon if it helps)

Bird or Mushroom work! Very few anons actually have given a tag for themselves so it's all for the picking. (like- there's Avi anon but if you just wanna go by Bird, then that works)

And oh my goodness, Ghost! Chain looking over Reader. My heart...

I bet it freaks out the village though. They chalk it up imaginary friends until little Reader knows something in history tat others haven't been able to figure out despite the clues.

But just... I want soft moment of the Chain looking after the next generations... even if they know there's nothing they can do to stop the flow of time- even if the moment to take up the mantel comes before either of them know it.

#pinky replies

[stemmmm]

i got back from a week long trip so now i've had plenty of time to ruminate on things and im finally ready to see what the fuck this guy has been trying to cook

episode 7 post

ep1 ep2 ep3 ep4 ep5+6

i think i saw a drawing of this guy earlier today except he had boobs

so lion's pretty obviously supposed to be the baby from 19 years ago, right.

ay ay aY AY AY

oh bah, the way it started out as just the last word in caps for a couple lines made me think dlanor was disguised as shannon or something but nah shes just like a robot or possessed for something.

i feel like ive been told explicitly 15 times that beato was the original beatrice's daughter who kinzo believed was her reincarnated, as if this is the first time im being given this information

damn bro you look hideous

alright so we're positing that original beatrice was enough of a fascist that she stuck to mussolini even after the rest of the country gave up? ok.

alright alright alright we're talking about whether the axis were cowards based on whether or not they surrendered and how alright.

REALLY FUNNY FOR THE V/O TO STILL BE FULLY JAPANESE WHEN HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE SPEAKING ENGLISH. OH BUT "I CANNOT SPEAK ENGLISH" IS?

interesting that this beatrice is using the baby beato voice. I've been trying to get the logic of it, and the best I can figure is that its just... to differentiate? differentiate WHAT exactly, whether its between human beatrices or just the humans and the witch im not sure yet. but I miss her other voice :( the flashback we got of her earlier that I didn't mention also used this voice even though im fairly certain the original version didn't.

i get that its for plot contrivances because beatrice had to get here somehow but WHY on EARTH would someone bring their daughter on an armed military vessel in the middle of a massive war. also because i touched on it earlier i'd like to clarify, i get that the participants in war are not necessarily people who agree with any of it. and even then, your circumstances of birth and pressure from your family will put you in situations out of your control (given, thats what this whole thing has Been About). idk i dont want it to come across as i don't get what's going on or like im an idiot or something. i may also be a bit defensive because i haven't really enjoyed the reading process terribly much in a while and didn't appreciate some of the feedback i've gotten in regards to "just keep reading, you'll like it, youll understand" because i dont think its properly come across that i think i Do understand, im just squicked the fuck out by a lot of things in part 6 and so far haven't seen anything that would allegedly turn my opinion around that much. but there's still a lot left in this to go. im just. bored honestly.

REALLY funny how much "bice" comes off sounding like bitch. all my friends at home call me bitch

oh my god also hilarious. the golds in the submarine isnt it.

EVEN IF ITS A TOP SECRET BASE WHY THE FUCK DONT YOU HAVE A DOCTOR?

anybody else have to stop and hold their head for a minute every time wildly specific gun specs are listed for no reason whatsoever

anyways this fight over the gold is fun, i figured something was gonna have to happen that got everyone else off that island and left the gold, so this makes as much sense as anything. and feeling the drive to live despite it all after seeing genuine bloodshed for the first time is a little overdone but just fine.

*curb your enthusiasm theme starts playing* well at least he insisted on taking her to a doctor

ohhhhh we're confirming beato is really and for true kinzo's biological daughter *head in handssss*

PLEASE STOP PINCHING THIS MAN'S ASS!!!

oh my god, first acknowledgement that battler isn't here. i kinda figured since he's always been kinzo's mirror of sorts, he wasn't gonna be here because kinzo was alive. like there's no reason for that to be the case, but to me the logic felt sound. battler and kinzo haven't been in the same place at the same time, at least not in 1986. and it seems that will continue to be the case !!

STOP PINCHING EVERYONES ASSES

lion sucks, actually. wretched personality.

i was holding back on making a joke about how maria talks about beato the way christian billboards exclusively go on about how there's "evidence god exists" or whatever, but now she's reciting the bible word for word so i dont know what to do with my point but i have to share it now. i do like that her point seems to be that because maria doesn't have a father, she is jesus. good for you girl.

BEATOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. and with the voice! ok so definitely that's the witch's voice.

alright this whole scenario can be argued as maria having an imaginary friend about it but if that piece of candy that beato told her to keep as a souvenir and not eat is still in maria's bag, magic is fucking Real.

also beato telling maria to practice basic hygene as her witch traini-- *has a jimmy neutron style brain blast and remembers the 1 (one) shinto shrine i've visited* OH, NO THIS IS A SHINTO THING. OK HELL YEAH. more of beato the "western" witch using japanese magics. i see i see i see.

fellas i may just like witch beato

#m.txt #umineko liveblog

[batwritings]

I felt that sm. When I used to write for Philza, I would pretty much rely on this mf to tell me what to do.

Pokemon Scarlet :000 I've wanted to play it but I haven't finished Arceus so I would feel bad if I bought it.

Also also! I have a request, of fluff, because I just very much enjoy fluff. So, I did check your 'okay with writing' list to check, but just incase feel free to ignore. But how about XD with a partner that has a dissociative disorder, and how he reacts?

-🃏

It's kinda nice at the same time because like, hi you know your body? You know what people might like to read? lol I know Schlatt actually nabbed the front from me and wrote something on this blog. I think I tagged it with "bat's system writes" if you wanted to read it lol

That's exactly how my partner is! He adores Arceus, but has yet to finish and doesn't want to start Violet until they do.

So, bear with me on this one, but these will be somewhat based on my own experiences (and interactions with an XD fictive lol), so they may not be concurrent with everyone else's! Enjoy!~

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When XD first noticed you dissociating, one could certainly say he was concerned. You were virtually unresponsive and the poor god didn't know what on earth to do. You had to reassure him later on that this was actually a pretty common occurrence for you.

You sat DreamXD down and ran through what he could expect, especially when it came to your switches. You couldn't help but chuckle as he watched you with rapt attention. You swore, if his memory wasn't as good as it was, he'd be taking notes mentally.

The first few times he ran into another alter, there was a lot of confusion. The SMP's creator couldn't figure out why you were being so cold to him despite your relationship. It took the blonde a moment to recall your previous conversation, asking if the person who was now up front knew you.

Conversation ran from there, and over time, XD came to adore most of your entire system. His favorites were your littles; he loved their zest for life and joy they got from the little things he would create for them. The littles enjoyed him just as much, being the first people to go to him whenever a trigger arose.

Another habit DreamXD picked up extremely quickly was note writing. Usually he would simply leave a message for you, but it became a lot more common for sticky note upon sticky note to be found around your home. "I'm out for my work, I'll be home later tonight," could be found on your nightstand. "[Alter], do not forget to take the medication this morning." "Your bear is in the wash little one, please be sure it gets into the dryer before playing with him again."

The scariest moments to your ethereal partner were your flashbacks. The moments of PTSD that would shake you and your entire system to it's core. And in the moments, DreamXD was at a loss; he felt like the worst partner for not knowing more about the mortals he'd created and how to help his favorite one in their lowest of times.

Unsure of what to do, the blonde deity could be found flitting around your shared space. He would prepare a litany of favorite snacks and drinks for you and the people who shared your body and headspace. Clawed hands would gently lift you up, bringing you to your bedroom and covering you in your safety items.

And at the end of it all, DreamXD would wrap you up in his arms, both sets along with his wings encapsulating you in warmth. His claws would draw gentle shapes along your arms and legs, but only in the spots that he knew would not trigger you all further. On the occasion he would hum a song that he thought could bring you back to the present.

Once the memories would fade, you would relax against him, full body weight sinking into his embrace. "Are you back with me little star?" XD would ask, his voice full of concern and barely above a whisper.

You nodded, an overwhelming feeling of safety clinging to your skin.

#bat writes #anon reqs #🃏anon #dreamxd fluff #dsmp fluff #mcyt fluff

[imthediamondintherough]

Because im in a somewhat ok mood I thought I'd start with design lore and character details. I said I'd inform you @0lympian-c0uncil

So. A tip: I'm a bit of a clothes/fashion fanatic. I obsess over small details a lot. This is gonna be very evident.

Also I CAN'T DRAW. So there is no art for any of my characters.

Currently.

Moving on.

Right!

The new name for the series is now

Lore Chthonic Order

(Or LCO in abbreviation)

yeah you waited a long time and the title isn't even that good. hilarious right?

I took a lot of inspiration from much anime and existing series. (You know as authors do) so designs are heavily influence by anime characters and such.

I also said there would be other deites in this... series actually I haven't decided if this is a series or anthology (still working out that detail.)

I can't give all the characters information out (like the second protagonist) because that would be spoilery. But I got to give you guys something to make up for the delay in content right?

So let's get to infodumping!

Demeter and Persephone purposely have similar designs in terms of clothing choices. But that is when they are together and only when they are together.

Demeter's character design (as in physical appearance) is inspired by the character design for Type Moon's FATE/ Grand Order's goddess Parvati. At least when she's in her domain and not in typical "civilian wear" when she is around mortals. ...More on that later.

Typically her colors are various greens, whites, browns, and yellows because I like the idea that Demeter gives off a summer vibe (probably some unintended symbolism and hidden messages there. I'll let you work that out) so alot of her clothes are very summery and late spring based.

In LO, Demeter's clothes usually look very business like. Very formal (and kinda boring) BUT I like that choice in clothing it suits her business oriented mindset. (I also like business suits and think women look great in them.) But this is Demeter so I'll make a point to incorporate certain aspects fit for Demeter and what she stands for.

So lots of plant motifs and maybe summer fruit images on her more casual clothes and dresses. But I also want to reference the thing she's iconic for: Persephone. True the myths around Perse don't have the best light and everyone likes making it so it's a "okay" thing that happened (and depending on the version you prefer it kinda isn't...)but whatever! not relevant.

I want to hint at or allude to Persephone the daughter who (probably) ran away and the daughter she loves. In my story Persephone is only seen as her role as queen of the underworld (I think that's justified since the focus IS on all the underworld related deities...) So that means darker colors and delicate...ish appearing flowers (not the common roses. unless you mean "black" varieties and the thorns)

Demeter wants her daughter to be around her (but she's in the underworld for much of the beginning of the story so I think placing little references to her is a good idea.) Demeter herself will not wear too many dark colors and flowers are usually limited to reference her daughter Persephone. No Persephone isn't a delicate flower and in LCO Demeter recognizes this and accepts it. But she also still wishes she could keep Persephone by her side always. Hinting to her in her clothes as a sort of reminder is a good way to emphasize that.

And I like clothes. Like I really like writing about them so brace yourself.

Back to my first point Demeter's physical description design is based on Fate Grand Order's Indian goddess Parvati.

Incidentally Parvati is a mother like figure and in this story Demeter ends up a mother like figure to multiple people so is anyone surprised?

As for normal civilian wear-- well it's just what she wears when she is around a large number of mortals. Usually this is a dress or suit with floral details (or reminders of Persephone). And I think having suits have lots of references to Persephone fits because it's like... Persephone means business in both aspects of her role. And Demeter wants to follow that in her own way so while she can't ask Persephone to wear suits (though she's positive her daughter would look wonderful in them) she wears them herself as a way of hinting how proud she is that Persephone is her own person.

When Persephone is around and not stopping by to drop off a gift she wears clothes similar to her mother in terms of style and colors. Mostly to reference where she currently is. But being the goddess of spring she wears lots more flowers. As per request of Demeter to feel like the old days they are normally large flowers or flowers that would require a lot of... Sun....

Although on occasion, Persephone pops up randomly (which is how we have warm days in winter) usually just to say hi or let one of her children speak to their grandmother or she's doing a favor for another goddess then she still wears dark colors with minor or or more subtle hints to flowers.

#demeter fic #demeter

[tokillamockingbird427]

I’m not sure if this was asked before but what crowd does Uriel fall into at school? He got any friends? 🤨

I'm trying to write Uriel as much of a nerd as I can. He draws a lot, he asks tons of questions, and while he does act like a child that's because he is one. When he's older I can imagine he settles with a circle that's more akin to a study group than anything else. (Something Logan's probably relieved about lmao. Perpetually paranoid.)

As for friends, he does have friends!

In Repentance he has the Group Chat, which I use as a plot tool. (They're the ones who motivate him to find the patch Keegan gave him.)

J (Or "Jay") Barf (Barto) and Izz (Izzie, Isabele, Isabella.) They're all around the same age as Uriel, and we haven't seen Uriel actually interact with them outside the chat. However, I did give them different type-styles to try and distinguish their personalities.

J is the most mature. J checks Barf and Izz when J thinks they're peer pressuring him a bit too much. J uses perfect punctuation and capitalization, but occasionally uses shorthand like "U2." J also regularly makes references to American media.

J: What else did u2 get up to? Uriel, you weren’t such a scoundrel when we lived at the same base.  J: Ur dad seems cool but I can’t forget my first time meeting him… felt like I was being interrogated. 

Barf staunchly refuses to use periods, refuses to capitalize, regularly spells words wrong, uses emojis. He's the childish one, if the weird nickname didn't give it away. He also refuses to acknowledge his birth name: "Barto"

Barf: barto? whos barto? my name is barf  Barf: even i got a story about ur dad remember we skipped and tryd going to the park but he found us while we were still walking to the park how did he even do that 

Izz and J are pretty similar in text style, because both use good punctuation and that, but Izz almost never uses shorthand. She will however, use emojis.

Izzie: Am not! You two could have gotten kidnapped, you know.  Izzie: Guys, please! Not again. :( 

(Uriel's text style is as similar to my writing style as I could make it. I wanted to give the vibe that the story really is just his thoughts, seeing as it's one big flashback for him.)

Unfortunately, the precious quartet has only been in one chapter so far. Chapter 2. However, I do hope to feature them again. It was very fun figuring out their interactions and how they might all react to each other.

Later in the story Uriel makes another few friends. Or, they make him, seeing as they're the ones who seek him out. Axel, little sister Jasmine, twins Jan and Jace, and the oldest of the lot: Val.

Uriel and Axel wind up getting along very well, and it was enjoyable to write them. How do two kinda dumb 12 year olds interact? Well, Axel shoves his face in Uriel's face and neither of them mind very much. (They're so very cute.)

#update #I do think this was //kinda// asked before #but I don't mind. I love repeats actually cus then I can whatever's changed in my brain for y'all lol #call of duty #call of duty ghosts #uriel walker (oc) #logan walker

[injvre]

i want to draw again but every time i even think about doing it i get really anxious about doing it. if i get as far as opening procreate or getting a piece of paper, i can't make anything happen

the most i've been able to do is piddle around with some brushes i downloaded and kinda glance at some bases i bought a couple years ago

i haven't drawn anything since i think february 2020, because i had to live off commissions while jobless, and i think that's part of it. i couldn't charge anything but peanuts and i was still struggling to get any sales, so it was just me & indy drawing all day to scrape together $15 so we could barely afford food. plus some of the people i had to interact with to (attempt to) make money were just awful to me. so maybe i just remember that and freeze up

i also in some ways. regret majoring in art in college. because i feel like the commissions + majoring in art killed whatever part of my brain gave me permission to sketch and doodle. i can't put pen to paper without feeling immense pressure? compulsion? to fuss over anatomy, composition, light, value, contrast, etc ... and make it a Complete Finished Piece. so it's really hard for me to do things such as "loosen up" and "have fun" and even "enjoy it"

and i'm like. do i enjoy art anymore??? can i even say that, having not done anything except scoot my personal sisyphus rock a couple feet & then give up again, for three years?

i'm also just frustrated because ... i have Art Skill. i know The Fundamentals. i know color theory and composition and light and value and shade. i have Won Awards (multiple!) and i have Sold Original Pieces (multiple!) i'm Good At It! but not at the kind of art i want to do. i have the fundamentals and i have worked hard and done well at ... really boring shit no one cares about. still life. still life. still life. another still life. no one cares about still life.

(i could devolve into my frustrations about how it feels that there is a hierarchy of art people care about / are interested in; ie, most people will say they love art and support artists but will always engage with fanart, only sometimes engage with original content, and very very rarely engage with fine art like still life, landscape, portrait, etc)

i also don't want to give the impression that part of my hangup here is that i'm saying i feel paralyzed by anxiety and unable to do art because i "won't get enough attention for it". i'm not wanting to "do it for the notes", and in fact the idea of getting the attention of more than like, 20 people at a time makes me more afraid than doing art ever could especially because even i must admit - i don't care about my still life. i did well at still life in school, i am proud of the work i did and it was cool that i sold those pieces. but i wouldn't say that i had fun. i wouldn't say that i enjoyed it. my art was good! but it wasn't art that got anyone excited. not even me.

but i feel that the type of art i am good at is not the type of art that i want to do.

i could sit down and put 20+ hrs into an 18x24 piece of paper and come out the other side with a near photographic rendering of some random objects, or animal bones, that would impress ... idk, someone who's not gone to art school and isn't also capable of producing similar things? whatever

but i sit down and try to draw something i'm passionate about, and have put a lot of thought and effort into already and .... nothing happens. i just get frustrated. i give up. immediately i feel like i have only a very basic, rudimentary skill. i feel like i draw like a child. it's repetitive and basic and samey. it's stiff because i'm so locked down with Following Rules that i don't know how to push them into things like "poses" or "expressions" or "style".

not that i even know what style i want to draw in, in the first place. i have no idea! i have tried to figure out what i might want, by saving a ton of images and names of artists where i think "wow i wish i could draw in that style", but there are so many and they are all so different that i ... still don't know the answer LMAO i feel like i've done nothing but shoot myself in the foot because now i have a collection of shit that makes me think "wow i can't fucking draw"

whatever every noise in the world started happening while i was writing this and i lost my train of thought :)

doesn't really matter where i was going with this. i have anxiety. i need help / advice but fundamentally i know the solution is "get over yourself and just do it and do it a lot and it'll happen naturally" but that's incredibly frustrating to hear when i've been doing this for years and it's not resulted in anything i'm happy with. i'm really questioning if i really want to do this / if i enjoy it at all. i know the truth is i DO, because i used to, i am just struggling to get that feeling back

[cottonfeltgembira]

hey, i just wanted to say i love ur ocs!!! they’re super creative and make me want to know more!!! if u ever want to ramble or talk about them more (specifically about ur oc’s relationships with others) then i’m more than willing to listen and ask questions about em!!! ur creativity is awesome

AHHHHHH FANK YEWW SM ANON ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ sniffles fefeffefe my darling little ocs I care a lot about them :]

Speaking of which, would be a good time to kinda give some extra details and general info of the ones I have so far !(^o^)!

Mnemosyne Vicas

He's essentially my medium to interact with twst's overall story since I struggle with doing sonas or self inserts (mostly due to the fact I have trouble understanding myself as a single person being a system and what not)

He's kinda the main oc if you will (｡･･｡) since I put a lot of thought into making him (even his name has ties to themes of memory because of the ghost camera) though his origin is pretty KH heavy, it's pretty much incomprehensible if you've never played/watched Kingdom Hearts Union Cross •́ε•̀٥

Mnemosyne ADORES Grim, he's one of the few people besides Malleus who recognizes him as a monster instead of a cat/weasel/cute animal. Although he doesn't refer to Grim as a monster, instead a beast felt more accurate for him.

I think his most interesting relationship would have to be......Jade? The entire nature of their bond is complicated at best, incomprehensible at worst.

And what started their relationship (or the very least, both Jade's fascination and infatuation with Mnems) only makes this worse. Nothing like almost amputating someone's arm to get those feelings going! Mnemosyne still feels bad for the whole thing even if it was justified (seeing as the tweels were ordered to stop Mnemosyne from winning the bet with Azul)

Yuna

No last name for now (I'll add it once I've figure it out!!) She's a secondary MC to Mnemosyne (Yuu 2? You two!!) She's actually based on the fact I've haven't really gotten to indulged in stuff like this in years ;; it's kinda odd to get back into oc x canon when the last time I've done that was maybe what? 5-6 years ago??? She's the epitome of a nerdy and dorky teenager with a heavy media based interest.

In a sense, Yuna is my love letter to all those teen girls from the early 2000's who were so lovingly shameless with the content they made for the media they loved （●＾o＾●） she probably has made a LOT of self insert fics (definitely a very famous x reader author on a fanfic site)

Nyx

Nyx is Yuna's best friend!! She's kinda the contrast to Yuna, being a known cosplayer on Instagram since Yuna and Nyx comes from our world.

She doesn't get involved with the twst world itself but she's incredibly important to Yuna, since she was the one who would always encourage her when she thought she couldn't do something.

She's best known for her cosplays of Azul and Jade because, though her reasoning to frequently cosplaying Azul is because of Yuna who adores him (and the fact Nyx wants nothing more than the person she loves to be happy)

Yuna and Nyx's story are heavily intertwined even though Yuna is stuck in twisted wonderland and Nyx is back home in our world.

Vicus & Arena

I haven't gotten around to drawing them yet (still stuck in dress up game prison 💔) they're twins based on the glass slippers from Cinderella!

Vicus is named after the Latin word for quartz! Since clear quartz bares a resemblance to glass and quartz itself is used in the making of watches (a reference to the limited time Cinderella had to spend at the ball)

Arena's name comes from the Latin word for sand since it's the main component used in making glass. Her name also greatly resembles the name Aranea, which means spider (since when safety glass breaks, it creates a spider web effect inside the glass)

The twins have a very complicated family relationship, their blood father left passed, to which their mother got remarried. But then her stepfather turned out to be cheating on her with his mistress. They got divorced and compromised by separating the twins as both parents stilled loved the children so dearly. Vicus stayed with his mother while Arena was taken in by her stepfather and mistress.

To put it simply : theyre long lost twins! They were separated at age 4 and reunite as second years albeit they clash in terms of personality

Vicus goes to RSA, he's sweet, a big believer and a bit clumsy. He's always helping people and taking care of others. He doesn't seem to care much about his appearance and yet is always so well dressed (his reasoning is simple, his mother taught him to)

Arena... Well much like her family, everything about her is complicated. She attend NRC despite it being an all boys school. Why you may ask? Her stepmother's bargaining of course. Her home life wasn't bad but it wasn't exactly intimate either.

Her stepfather is never at home, always on a business trip and her stepmother whom while did love her was strict and in her mind knew what's best for her daughter. This cause Arena to grow with the mindset she has now today, "to be the best of the best, better than everyone else, better than the me before."

For obvious reasons, she's been placed in Pomefiore and greatly admires Vil. Many people mistake her admiration for romantic interest, but in truth Arena simply wants to be like Vil.

Unlike her long lost brother, Arena is snarky and at times a bit self centered. She has no time to interact with strangers and people who are lesser to her much less unworthy of her presence, only circling herself around strong and powerful figures like Vil and many of the Dorm and Vice Dorm leaders.

Knowing that, she's definitely jealous of Epel. Why choose someone who seemed so unwilling to work for Vil when she's right here?!?! She'd do ANYTHING. to be closer to Pomefiore's queen, even if it meant getting her hands dirty

#thats most what I have for now but I do have more :0c #will be saving the rest for future asks ans posts !(^o^)! #OC #MC Yuu #mnemosyne vicas #Yuna #Nyx #Arena #Vicus #twst #twisted wonderland #kh #anon #prayers answered 📖 #the future has already been written 💿

[marichat-verse]

Mist Memories

Leo Valdez x reader for his birthday ahhhh (even though it's angsty) with a platonic/developing jason x reader cameo at the end (lmao im sorry i couldn't help myself 😭)

Based on this picture I found in pinterest + also [kinda] based on traitor by olivia rodrigo and omg i really recommend u guys listen to this edit because it reminds me so much of this fic that's been stuck in my head for MONTHS also kind of a run away with me prologue lol

Your POV

I nervously made my way across the forest until I reached a limestone cliff. I knocked on the iron door, not really expecting to get an answer.

My boyfriend has been shutting himself in Bunker 9 for the past few weeks. I stood there counting up to seven before knocking again. I knocked again two more times, until he answered in the middle of my last knock.

He removed his goggles and winced as sunlight hit his eyes. He'd grown thinner and paler, making the dark circles in his eyes more pronounced.

"Oh, Leo..." I reached out to brush a few strands of hair away from his face, but he moved away.

"What are you doing here?" He said in a monotone voice.

I moved to walk inside the Bunker, brushing off his hesitation to let me in. "I'm your partner, remember? And I'm really concerned because you're shutting yourself out lately. You know everyone's starting to worry about you. Percy asked me to check on you because you missed pegasus riding with him. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Jason's coming back from Camp Jupiter soon. I was hoping you and Annabeth could be with Piper while Percy and I hung out with Jason because it's been a little awkward since their breakup. Plus Piper wanted to tell you something—"

"Please," he said forcefully causing me to stop and look at him. "Just... Get out."

Normally, he'd shut himself from the world for a few days to work on an important project or because he was feeling really sad and he needed space. But this was getting out of hand. He had never locked me out of his life when I offered to help him. He was never this mean when he asked for space. I was not having this attitude of his.

"Okay, Leo. I tried to play nice. What is so important that you blow off all your friends for nearly a month that you can't even tell your partner, or maybe say hi to your best friend who's coming back from the other side of the country?"

He didn't say anything. He pursed his lips and avoided eye contact. I scanned he room for any signs.

It was messier than usual with all the crumpled paper scattered on the floor, especially on his desk. He could have been drawing up new plans. Something in my gut told me that something wasn't right. There were no new unfinished projects, indicating that he wasn't starting a new invention. Harley's helicopter lay on his bench in the same state it was weeks ago. Huh, not even his siblings could enter the Bunker.

I turned and Leo was already changing Festus' oil. I took this moment of distraction to pick up a few pieces of crumpled paper on the floor and on his desk. I had to process the words a bit longer—too long that Leo took notice. Damn dyslexia.

I heard footsteps speed up behind me, but it was too late. I read enough and got the gist of what he had been trying to do these past few weeks.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at me. Small embers started to erupt between his curls.

I laughed dryly. "So this is what you've been up to?"

His fists tightened, further crumpling the paper in his hands. His eyes flashed with anger, despair and confusion.

I sighed and focused my eyes on his desk, not daring to look at him any longer. Under some pieces of paper were old photographs of him and Piper from Wilderness School. Yup, those definitely were the mist memories she had with Jason. I read the latest draft he'd been writing:

Dear Piper,

Remember the mist memories from boarding school with Jason? They were real, but they were with me.

I miss you. I miss when it was just us. I miss the night on the roof.

Yours truly,

Leo Valdez

I tried to keep my voice from cracking. "How long?"

I heard him sigh. "Three weeks."

I balled my fists. Tears started to fall and smudge the ink. I wiped them away as fast as they came.

"How?"

"In a dream," his tone softened now. "Hera came to me in a dream and told me to check an old drawer in Bunker 9. I found the photos and the memories came rushing back."

"How long were you dating back then?"

"Two weeks."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Silence; then a deep breath.

"No."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because I knew you'd get upset like—"

"I meant why would you throw away months of our relationship for a couple of weeks of your relationship with her? And without even bothering to tell me? Gods damn it, Leo. We've been together since you've first arrived at camp. And what about those promises you made when we were sailing to Greece? You've been keeping these feelings away from me and you've been lying to me, making me believe that there's still something between us and—"

"Oh, calm down," he said with an annoyed expression and tone, which only infuriated me more, "it's not like I did anything were her yet! I didn't kiss her or tell her how I truly felt for her! She just got out of a relationship with Jason around the same time I had that dream. I had to figure out how to talk to her about it. I've been alone in this Bunker for three. Fucking. Weeks. I didn't cheat on you."

"Oh, and that makes everything better?" I countered. "Being in a relationship isn't about not cheating, Leo. It's about being honest and communicating with each other."

"Oh, like you've been communicating with me? After the war, you take go back to Manhattan for school, and you take a job. I haven't seen you much during the holidays because work has been keeping you in the city. And you won't tell me what you even do for a living!"

I took in a deep breath. "I told you I needed to have a life outside of camp! I needed to know first that I could handle myself in the mortal world as a normal human being. I needed this demigod part of my life to be separate as much as possible! I've been in two wars, Leo. I needed time to myself, too. And I was about to tell you guys in a few more days. But I guess now, I'm glad I've kept you out of that part of my life. At least I have an escape from all of this. And now, especially from you."

I took another deep breath and walked to the door, about to let myself out. I turned back again, both our tear-stained eyes meeting each other.

"If it makes you feel any better," I said softly, "I would've hated the idea of us breaking up. But if you really love her, if you really feel like you have this special connection to her and she makes you happy, then I won't get in your way. You could at least have had the decency to talk to me so we could have left on a good note."

He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly regretting his actions. I sighed and looked around the Bunker, possibly for the last time. Lots of memories were definitely created in this room; all just as grand and meaningful as the inventions they made here. But just like some of Hephaestus' contraptions, some of them were flawed and dumped in his scrapyard, no matter how much potential it could have had.

"Goodbye, Leo."

I sat on a rock on the beach that gave me a beautiful view of Long Island Sound. To my left, the sun started to set, casting an orange filter on everything. My heart broke, remembering how everything glowed orange in the Bunker. Leo always left the fires burning when he was working. The sunlight twinkling against the sea reminded me of how small bits of flame peaked through his hair earlier. I remembered how mad he was at me. Or maybe he was mostly mad at himself.

"Hey."

I jumped when someone sat—or rather, landed—beside me. I turned and smiled, seeing one of my good friends back at camp.

"Hey, you're back," I said weakly. "How long have you been here?"

He smiled at me, although he could maybe sense that something was wrong. "Half an hour, maybe? I saw Annabeth making plans to expand camp to have a city. She made me do an aerial inspection and I told her I'll get back to her tonight. That's when I saw you."

"Mhmm," I mumbled, not really knowing what to say. It was silent for a few minutes before I spoke up again, knowing he was just waiting for me to open up.

"I broke up with Leo."

His head quickly turned to me. I guess he wasn't expecting it to be that bad. "What?"

"Oh yeah," I laughed dryly. "Turns out the mist memories Piper had in Wilderness School with you? They were real. But not with you."

His eyes widened. "Oh... With Leo."

"He locked himself in the Bunker for weeks trying to write a letter. It was heartbreaking. Like, truly heartbreaking. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her and how much he missed them. Then he said how much he missed that night with her under the stars and... It hurt. Like hell."

"Oh," he said. "I guess Piper didn't tell me everything then."

"She knew all along?"

He shook his head. "Maybe not everything, but she told me she's been confused about her feelings lately and she'd been having visions or dreams of possible old memories that were messing with her head."

"I'm sorry about you and Piper," I said.

"Don't be," he said. "I understand her. It did hurt, though. But I think I can get over it some day. We're still awkward around each other, but at least we left on a good note."

I scoffed. "Leo couldn't even give me a good ending to our relationship."

"Hey," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You're a great person, y/n. You've done so much, especially for him. It's his loss that he was stupid enough to let go of you."

"I know that."

"Do you really?"

"I do!" I said. "I'm a great person and I know that. But that doesn't mean what he did doesn't hurt me."

"I know," he said. "You'll find someone who'll treat you like the queen that you are. You're a great person, and I'm not just saying this to cheer you up. I truly think you're amazing."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Jason. And you'll find someone great, too. Maybe not as great as me but, then again, who is?"

We both let out a laugh. The conch sounded in the distance, signaling dinner. I moved to stand up before hearing Jason speak up again.

"Hey, do you maybe want to just grab a couple of plates and eat out here?"

I smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good. I don't really want everyone else hounding me about the breakup right now."

I don't know how long it was going to take me to get over Leo. We really did gave something special. It was cruel how the universe gave me something so good, to make me have hope that something was finally going right, then have it yanked away from my arms just as suddenly as it came.

He never cheated on me, but that didn't mean he didn't betray every promise we made to each other. I should have known it was too good to be true. Life has always played cruel jokes on me.

Then again, who's to say that things won't turn out for the better, right?

•••

Tagging: @drvrslcense @bubblybubbubs @dreamerball @quteez @aesthetxcimagines @chasingpj @beingleft @wadewilsonsgreatestfriend

#heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #hoo #toa #pjo #x reader #jason grace x reader #demigod x reader #percy jackson x reader #leo valdez x reader #piper mclean x reader #annabeth chase x reader #frank zhang x reader #hazel levesque x reader #nico di angelo x reader #hoo preferences #pjo preferences #toa preferences #rick riordan #riordanverse #leo x reader #leo valdez #leo valdez x y/n #leo valdez imagines #leo valdez imagine #leo valdez preferences #angst #jason grace #jason x reader

[urcharactersclasspect]

Another mage of light!

Funnily enough, I've been doing classpecting as a hobby for a bit now, too. Only reason i haven't made a blog for it myself is because i haven't really. Wanted to draw much attention, as you may understand. Sometimes, there are people you just don't want to draw to you. While I'm aware this may apply for this ask to you, i suppose however you take this ask is, in fact, your business.

Regardless, a rogue and seer of breath, knight of void, page of life, and a few unreadable others, so to speak, are in my circle for now. Although I've got a. Habit. Of reading for fictional characters that have no importance aside from what i feel i see them having, i suppose? Im sure you understand.

Honestly I would jokingly go for my mage of light supremacy joke and say others dont exist but I feel like this ask is way too on point characteristically for another mage of light or how i would address something that its almist unsettling to read it.

Yeah, I COMPLETELY understand that first part. Making this blog scared me shitless for that exact reason honestly and it still does for the same one. But I just kind of went for it and keep my head down when interacting with other blogs, Rather not draw in the wrong kinds of folks around here ir get too carried away with something I just consider something fun to do when I feel like it. So far so good. Overall really its just better to be disconnected about it as its just that, something fun to do and something to work the brain muscles with as a hyperfixation. But that took me a minute to push myself to think about and ya know, its always kinda hit or miss with things like that for mages of light socially or otherwise, so only make one yourself when and if you absolutely feel like doing it or like you really can. Idk ya but Id obviously rather you not give yourself a panick attack like I had the first attempt at creating a blog like this if its just not for you in particular or something you couldnt handle when weighing the pros and cons out for yourself and your own situation.

The struggle between wanting attention for cool ideas or stuff you might do and fearing it is always very strong when you have a mage of light classpect, so weighing it all out really is important as we both surely know. What conculsions ya get to is obviously on you though. I dont see many mages of light actually doing things like this-- and its definitely for that reason lol. We are hella conflicted usually, and we just tend to stay that way. Im obviously an outlierin action alone bc Ive kept it up but only because I decided I just wanted to go nucking futs one day and to me the pros outweigh my cons presently. Im sure youll get me here. When i say it might be a small decision to others to just make a fun little blog, bit for us its a possibility of getting too much attention and getting overwhelmed and failing contextually at something. It hits that light player pride hard.

Youve gotten an interesting circle there. I also have a Seer of Breath on my radar of people! I recomend you keep those breath players around, breath players are always great friends for Light players to have around in some compacity in my honest opinion. They always have a good energy about them. Although, Id be mindful of a Knight of Void, but also like I dont wanna scare you about your interpersonal relationships based on that alone. Void players can be just a little tricky to figure out on my end.

I also get that last thing there too. But its like- less important characters also deserve to be analyzed too. So i get why it would have pretty good appeal. Theres even more bread crumbs to follow and pick apart sometimes with those types of characters and that can make theorizing and concocting a classpect more of a challenge. But a good one nonetheless!

#long post

[koorinohebi]

@super-kame-love

Continued From:

I am curious: how would you describe Kiomi's relationship with Jiraiya? And with Koji Kashin? What you've shared about them so far seems very interesting and I must know more!

+ + +

Sorry for breaking it into two different posts, Kame-san. The other one felt so long already.

Quick note: IF you haven't read or watched Boruto, this will definitely contain spoilers.

So for this second one, we have...

Kashin Koji

So the main reason I was interested in him was when rumors were floating around that Jiraiya or someone that resembles him is back in Boruto. One look at his design and I was like, yeah. Unmistakably related in one way or another. Lo and behold my friend, lo and behold.

I have 2 verses for Kashin Koji. One is the one where you often see me mention Takeda. That one is an on going RP with @ambitiousparagon, and the other one is a verse where I pen Koji myself. The one with Takeda is still in the works and currently still very unpredictable, so for this instance I'll talk about my own version of Kashin Koji, which actually...more than Kiomi being the main focus, I tend to lean more towards the man himself. This is heavily influenced by headcanons that are based on what I noticed his personality being based on what we know so far.

So when I first encountered Kashin Koji there was hardly anything on him, which is to say, still very true currently. He hasn't been seen in the manga after his crushing defeat against Isshiki, and in the anime, they've given him a voice, and we see how he acts, but ultimately it doesn't differ from what we've already read in the manga (if you or any of the ones reading this have read it).

So Kashin Koji is, despite being quite whimsical, a no nonsense kinda guy. So he is very...well, I wouldn't call it by the book, but as a shinobi, he chooses the most efficient way to carry out the mission, which is...by default, how Amado had initially programed him-- Not as a perfectionist, no, but as Isshiki would say it, Amado's programming of Kashin Koji rode on his maker clinging onto Jiraiya's mighty fate. However, with Jiraiya being the template, it's not a surprise if Koji would inherit the man's sentiments, principles, and even slight eccentricities as a Shinobi (which I believe Amado had predicted and saw as a weakness. He needs and creates tools as he sees fit, and he'll use whatever he can to further his agenda). Amado strives to emulate within Kashin Koji the "star of change" which Jiraiya possessed. As we know, thanks not only to the prophecy, but also due to Jiraiya's diligence in searching for that revolutionary that could change the world, he was able to bring together (in one way or another) three of the most powerful game changers that we have who affected the course of the current History. If they wanted to defeat Isshiki, he needed that kind of trick up his sleeve. Because however, Kashin Koji has imperfections, and someone Jigen had deemed weaker than he is (because Jigen told Amado to dispose of clones more powerful than he was), our good professor faces a setback and thus needs to come up with a new plan (going to the Hokage, and asking them to kill Isshiki instead while having Kashin Koji show them the "ropes" on how it's done).

My take on him stems from this human weakness. Kashin Koji is aware of who he's supposed to be a clone of. We see this when he comments on his fate being tied to Konoha and the like. And admittedly, knowing your predecessor's legacy, not to mention having been able to perfect something that the original couldn't gives him a bit of an ability to brag, and believe that he can be just as great or even greater than Jiraiya.

But the question is how convinced he is of this himself. I do believe that Kashin Koji wants to be a person of his own, and in being the perfect heroic shinobi tool, even if he dies, it wouldn't be for naught so long as he brings down his target (which happens to be the biggest threat since Madara, Tobi, and Kaguya). Believing that Amadao was entrusting the fate of the world in his hands bolstered his confidence. However, when Isshiki pointed out the painful truth of Amado's betrayal and deception, he internally refuses to accept it. That he was just a pawn, and that he'd never break free from being nothing but Jiraiya's shadow. I always felt that if at the baseness of Jiraiya's personality, you have a decent grasp of his shortcomings, regrets, and insecurities, you'll get a good grasp of Kashin Koji too. Although it's just my headcanon (and people dont really have to abide by it), Koji too, is plagued by this ever looming sense of not being good enough, as well as not living up to the name of his original (very much like how Jiraiya felt his accomplishments dont match that of Sandaime or Minato).

So after this long explanation on my take on Kashin Koji, you may ask where Kiomi comes in. Well, she comes in as a form of support.

Just as with Naruto's unreasonable worry, the first time that Kiomi sees Kashin Koji, she's instantly unreasonably bothered by him as well. Worse, when the mask comes off, and she sees his face she is instantly appalled and angry because everything that she's been keeping inside is dragged to the surface. Of course, none of this was Kashin Koji's fault. It was more of Kiomi's own regret, and seeing him was like opening a can of worms for her, reminding her of all the things she wanted to do and say had her teacher been alive. At the same time, she's very irked that someone was running around with his face, because someone had the gall to deliberately make a "knock off" as she calls it, of the man she respects the most.

With this much animosity, one would wonder how Kiomi becomes his support. While Kiomi and Kashin Koji initially dislikes each other, the woman rejects the fact that he's just "some clone", as he is also a person who deserves to live his life as himself regardless of whether he was created as a tool or as a clone. If you remember from my first post about Kiomi and Jiraiya's relationship, this was exactly the same kind of treatment that Jiraiya gave Kiomi when she viewed herself as nothing more than a disposable chess piece. She doesn't say this outright to Kashin Koji though. He learns this on his own. Seeing that someone believed in his own possibilities gave him a little peace of mind, just a little. In effect, this draws his curiosity. Kashin Koji being an Inner of Kara does his assignment pretty well, so he would by effect, know who she was as too. He believed she would be one of those who would constantly see him as a glorified Kagebunshin, but surprisingly she didn't. In fact, seeing as he was who he was, it would make him a perfect replacement, but she didn't treat him like that. This makes him loosen up around her, enough that his usually snide and sarcastic remarks are now laced with a hint of fond teasing. Ironically, she hates it when he does this, as it reminds her of Jiraiya. (Because Jiraiya often teases her about one thing or another.)

One of my favorite interactions of them is probably this one, just because it shows a little bit of both their internal struggles and how they deal with each other.

===

“Tell me,” Instead of standing to leave, he remained seated opposite from her. Kashin Koji removed the mask which barred a portion of his face that she was surely uncomfortable seeing. And he was right. She averted her eyes briefly, before putting up a look of feigned indifference once their optics finally met.

There was relative distress in her features, that much he could tell while staring at her…curiously, seriously. “Do I resemble him? This Jiraiya of yours.”

Looking at him was like staring into a nightmare, a stark reminder of what she could never hope to have. However, she understood his question. They were past simple notions of physicality. It wasn’t just about his face, nor was it about his origin. It was deeper than that. For Kiomi’s alleged simple-mindedness, this concept was not something so hard to grasp. Not when this was the very base of the learnings she had inherited from the mentor she respected the most. Despite Jiraiya and Kashin Koji’s shared similarities, they were still two very different people, each with their own uniqueness. Besides, denying a man his own identity was probably the cruelest judgment any living being could impose on another.

“You don’t.” The answer came simply; however, he did not miss the semblance of melancholy that lingered upon her visage. To him, it felt indicative of disappointment…such fragile and complicated feelings.

“I see.” Kashin Koji had closed his eyes then, satisfied with the answer. In a sense, he felt his lips curve into a smirk. Two words of reassurance; to think that hearing something so simple had such a significant impact. And as for Kiomi who had only seen the man scowl at her existence, this look on his face for the first time caused her chest to ache. Perhaps in her words, she knew not if a lie existed; if only because such an expression looked frighteningly similar to her teacher’s.

“The two of you must have loved each other very dearly.” At this point, he had refocused his gaze upon the female, only to raise a brow shortly after. He had never seen anyone choke on air before. Her flustered features shouldn’t have been anything extraordinary, but it felt amusing. “Was I mistaken?”

“Yes, you’re wrong! You’re very wrong!” She retorted, her flushed face, easily beating the most crimson of fruits. “Everything, this…my…they’re all just…” She tried to calm down as she explained. “…they’re all just…what I’m trying to say is…whatever they are, they’re all just one-sided emotions…” She looked downtrodden. He recalled Naruto saying that their mentor died while she was away figuring out herself, and had carried a burden none of them could share. Jiraiya had meant everything to them, each within varying degrees unknown just how much to the other.

After learning that all of this was one sided, he looked at her with lethargy. “Are you actually an idiot after all?”

“Oi, you actually dare to call me an idiot in my own house? Besides, it’s not like I stood a chance against the person he sought after.” It wasn’t a secret to her after all, that he had his eyes on Lady Tsunade. What chance did she have against someone who had shared in his losses, successes, strife, and victories?

“Was what you felt actually so flimsy that it lost to someone else’s? Did you confirm it with your own mouth?”

The questions that bombarded her, matched with such an unexpected interrogator threw her off. So much that when she had come to her senses, she found herself face to face with Kashin Koji. If she was distraught earlier, then the ante had been upped then and there. Trapped in between his arms, being stared at, it felt horrible and suffocating for many reasons that she convinced herself that she couldn't understand. “Should I teach you just how lofty your feelings are?” He lingered so close, too close for comfort. But that was where she drew the line. Steeling herself, she pulled her head back just enough to give her some room to drive her forehead down against his. THWACK!

Both of them found themselves clutching their heads, one clicked his tongue and the other was cussing up a storm in her mind--and verbally, apparently.

“Don’t you dare mock me—“

She was on the verge of throwing him out, but there he was, laughing, collapsed on the floor as he held onto his forehead. She stifled her annoyance because she remembered how; pranks of the same nature had been done to her, by none other than her favorite mentor. And he would laugh just the same. At least sensei’s were a little more innocent and subtle. “Don’t laugh at me either!” She demanded with childish vigor, kicking him in the shin repeatedly. He fended them off well enough, which added to her irritation.

“That’s enough out of you.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do in my own hou—hou—“ That was to say, if she wasn’t going to stop her assault, then he would have to play along. Grabbing her ankle when she struck, he pulled her over; just enough to make her balance crumble, bringing her down effectively.

“What the actual hell is wrong with you?”

“Even now, you’re struggling to protect what’s important to you. You may be a bit weaker than others, but it doesn’t seem like you’re lacking in persistence and perseverance. What are you so afraid of?”

Again with questions and commentaries that she did not ask for…

Her silence was enough of a response. Regrets, apprehensions, guilt, it was painted on her face. Shaking his head, Kashin Koji came to a stand and dusted himself, thereafter extending a hand for her to take.

“At the very least, come up to the starting line and show that mentor of yours your resolve.”

She begrudgingly looked at the hand that was offered to her. She felt ashamed and annoyed at herself because she knew that his point was valid. He wasn’t wrong, and in fact, he made more sense than she had wanted to admit. With an inward sigh, she took that hand and he helped her to her feet.

“…” Their grasp on each other persisted for a while. There was no warmth there; no comfort of a familiar friend, but there was a firmness that was enough to uproot whatever doubt it was that crept within the confines of her mind. She wouldn’t exactly call the other’s presence reassuring, but in a sense it was something close to it.

“Tsk, just who do you think you are? Acting all high and mighty?” Compared to before, the scowl had turned a bit friendly, but a scowl none the less.

“In case you haven’t heard or have been mistaking me for someone else, it’s Kashin Koji.” He replied with a tinge of whimsy in his voice. Matched with that was a tighter grip on the female’s hand which she reciprocated in kind. “Kiomi.” She rebutted against his satirical introduction.

When they at last released each other, there was probably a reddening mark there, but it also seemed like they’ve come to a certain understanding. “With a grip like that, what do you even hope to accomplish?”

Everything that comes out of his mouth is a fucking insult… Kiomi mused, unabashed by such a sentiment. Still, she watched him retrieve his mask only to wear it over his face once more. “I’ve a scouting mission at the Hokage’s behest. Two days time.” He stated out of the blue, walking towards her direction, incidentally near the exit. “Join me.”

“And why exactly, should I do that?” Folding her arms over her chest, she asked.

“Learn something useful rather than wallow in your self-pity.” Just before he could pass her completely, the intruder halted to cup her cheeks, moving it side to side casually.

(I made a thing.Lol Kiomi and her tendency to get manhandled.) There was no tenderness there, rather it seemed like he was inspecting a toy for some kind of defect. “You dont seem outclassed by anyone, not even by the Godaime. Put yourself to good use. You are a Shinobi, after all.”

“What does Lady Tsunade even have to do with this?”

“Who else would you feel so inferior to? It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Besides,”

Finally, he’d relinquish his hold to observe her frame carefully. She was a slender woman, possibly bordering voluptuous underneath all that fabric. From the wrinkles and silhouette of her attire, he could tell that she was filled out in all the right places. Fair skin, a set of apprehensive platinum orbs…among other things. “You have the curves. Maybe not the appeal and self confidence, but you have the curves. You’ll be fine.”

Perhaps it was in that retort that Kiomi ran after Kashin Koji as he left her place, albeit with a senbon or two hurled at the man. “I was wrong; you’re probably just as much of a letch as sensei!”

The projectiles were caught between the fingers and twirled around with ease, no troubles at all. He contemplated for a mere second before deciding to keep them as a souvenir. “You wound me with your presumptuousness. I'm a busy man, and have no time for countless women. Such a disappointing assessment.” He waved her off, walking away and finally disappearing from sight.

===

Pardon the length, but this is how they normally interact in my story.

Koji serves as a challenge for Kiomi, while Kiomi serves as a "net" for Koji so that when he falls pray to his feeling of incompetency, he remembers that she expects him to plainly be Kashin Koji, and no one else. Both of them remind each other of something important which they both hope would make them better versions of themselves.

So what kind of relationship do they have? I'm pretty sure it's along the lines of frienemies.

#|| Breaking the Ice || Answered #super-kame-love #I told myself this was going to be an quick explanation for both #Lol. 10 hours later... #Kashin Koji has reached that level of comfort with her where he can just use his face to piss her off.

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

#anon #ask #long post #im so so sorry this is like long as shit #ill literally tell you guys everything though art school should not feel like a mystery esp if ur planning to go into it! #Anonymous