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carolmunson · 10 months

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orange colored sky (older!modern!eddie)

older!modern!eddie - setlist inspired by the fact that i fall in love with someone new every time i got to trader joe's and @loveshotzz new older!steve series. manip by my fave @eddiemunsons-missingnipple tw: nothing really, very much a meet cute at a grocery store. eddie is in his early 40s, reader is late-late 20s/early 30s. lemme know if you guys want this to be a whole thing.

the automatic doors rush cool air into your face, a sweet reprieve from the sticky heat of this summer. a much muggier july than you remember having as a kid. but then again, you don't remember that much about being a kid these days. trader joe's is a little busier than usual, which makes sense with the holiday weekend coming up -- but you hate when it's busy. there's already too many sounds -- some summer 90s playlist and the squeaks of the carts, people in their hawaiian shirts milling around with boxes and box cutters. you just want some snap peas for god sakes.

you grab a basket and adjust your canvas bags on your shoulder, tossing your headphones in them for later. you feel 'running errands ugly' but everyone seeing you in the bike shorts you threw on this morning doesn't think that view is ugly at all. your music drowned it out on the train ride over here. you're already sort of annoyed. people just don't know how to do anything anymore -- why are we just standing in front of produce. get what you need and go! you think hastily. but you wait for people to stop gawking at the produce and make their selection before you grab the romaine, snap peas, and shredded brussel sprouts you need. when you turn you almost walk entirely into someone's cart, eyes flitting up briefly and muttering a 'sorry, s'cuse me'.

can everyone just get off my fucking ass? you huff to yourself internally. you maneurver over to fruits, a few stands in a row -- citrus, apples, berries. all separated by category in large cargo looking boxes. you snag a big box of cherries, the three pound one, knowing you'll go through the small ones too fast. you frown over the lack of watermelon, continuing along while someone turns the corner into your aisle. you look up for a moment, just to scan your surroundings, to see who it is.

you've never seen him before, but you've never seen anyone here before. it's not like there's regulars at the grocery store in a city like this. his hands hang over the handle to his cart by the wrists, knuckles tattooed in shapes you can't make out. you follow the leather banded watch up to a full sleeve of ink, only obscured by the start of a cuffed t-shirt sleeve, a crisp white that blinds against the black of the elvira pin up tattoo on his tricep. horror icons blending into each other seamlessly. you can see more black and color peeking out from the collar of his shirt --vintage judas priest, mint condition, tucked comfortably under a well perserved denim vest covered in patches of bands you've never heard of. you're surprised by the black chino shorts on his bottom half, not expecting someone who was clearly still stuck in their grunge phase to wear those over cut off jeans. the busted up reebok's on his feet make up for it though -- pairing nicely with the tattoos on his calves and thighs, not quite sleeves, but enough to make a statement.

you grab a box of strawberries and pop them into your basket, surveying the mangos on the top shelf at your eye level while he maneuvers behind you. you think he's cute but you don't take too much stock in it -- it's so like you to have a 'train boyfriend' or 'trader joe's boyfriend' for a brief moment in time. someone cute that you spot outside and never speak to. it's one of those days.

he has brown eyes and thick lashes, hair dark wrapped in a bun on the top of his head with streaks of silver poking through, bangs in his face. some curls stick to the heated skin by his neck and jaw. not that you're looking. the scruff on his face is littered with salt and pepper -- maybe that part of him aging more than the rest. he grabs a heap of bananas to his nearly empty cart. he also has a big box of cherries in there. he wears a cologne with spice and suede in the notes, it's familiar, a little smoky. maybe an old boyfriend used to wear it. you shrug it off, grabbing a mango or two and popping it in a produce bag before hocking it in. more veggies for a greek salad. an onion. some pre-packaged turkey slices.

you turn into the first frozen food section, weaving through more people who just stand there and you grit your teeth. you snag some frozen broccoli, the coolness bringing you a moment of calm so that you don't lose your mind inside the store. more like traitor joe's. you grab a few more things, a veggie medley for a tofu scramble, some scallion pancakes that you’ll use as meal replacement because no matter how many times you think you’ll food prep you never do. you see him at the end of the aisle, rifling through bags of frozen shrimp to find one he likes. you notice he has a ring on but it’s on his pointer finger, two more rings on the hand that holds his cart by his hip – a silver chain dangles from what you assume is his wallet in his back pocket. his keys jingle from a carabiner by his front belt loop. slut, you think to yourself. you grab a bag of small frozen salmon filets, not paying much mind to your grocery store boyfriend of the week when you turn the corner to the next frozen food aisle. he’s there not soon after you, grabbing frozen fruit medleys and a few bars of chocolate on the non-frozen shelving above. you aren’t sure if he sees you, but you see him. you can smell the suede and spice of his cologne as his moves past you to the other end. bread is on the back wall of the store, you want to get sourdough but you know you’ll just eat it plain and not make sandwiches so you opt for the tuscan loaf instead. you snag a bag of mini bagels, forgoing the small baguettes this time. you can’t afford the good burrata this week for any special girl dinner you come up with, so it’s best to not have it around if you can’t pair it with anything pretty. further down the back wall you get to snacks and don’t ignore the bag of yogurt covered pretzels – a basket must. seaweed snacks for salmon rice bowls. plantain chips. Your basket feels a little heavy but at least this errand is almost over. you turn down the pasta, beans, and rice aisle and there he is turning down the other end. you both catch each other this time, because this time feels like it’s not a coincidence. you both break eye contact as quickly as you make it, both of you looking down and smiling to yourselves. you feel the heat on your cheeks but you don’t see his blush, both of you too preoccupied with whatever you have to pick up to pay attention to the other. you smell the suede and smoke even after you lose him to the next couple of aisles.

pre-packaged tortellini, lox, shredded cheese. chicken thighs. a six pack of some pretty sounding beer you’ve never tried. your basket overflows but it’s fine. the errand is over, at least here, before you need to run into target which for some reason is far less overstimulating. he’s a few people ahead of you on the opposite line, still leaning over the edge of his cart with his hands hanging, one thumbing a text to someone before he stands up fully to push the cart ahead. he looks over his shoulder and your eyes briefly meet for a moment – heat on your cheeks – before he moves ahead to turn down the long row of cashiers to pay. you don’t see him when it’s your turn and by the time you’re done paying you’ve already forgotten about him, lost in a flirty conversation with the guy ringing you up. target only has half of what you need and that’s fine because nothing else will fit in the big canvas bags you brought with you for your groceries and it’s at least an eight minute walk back to the train. you groan when you get back out into the heat, the boiler room of the subway cooking you as you make it down to the platform. a pleasant sigh passes your lips when you see it’s at least only a four minute wait until your train makes it to you – only a few more minutes of suffering before you’re on your way back to your air conditioned studio apartment. you look across the platform where some old lady’s push cart rattles as it makes it down the stairs on the other side. her little body walking ahead, a voice saying ‘i got it, ma’am don’t worry,’ echos down into the chamber of the subway.

there he is. a canvas bag on each arm filled to the brim and the push cart lifted in front of him. while you can’t see from this distance, you have a feeling you’d like how his arms looked at full capacity like this. the cart’s metallic jingle continues when he places it on the concrete ground, pushing it over to the woman who now sits pleasantly on the bench. you watch their conversation while they say quiet ‘thank yous’ and ‘your welcomes’ to each other and he checks his phone while he finds a spot to stand, waiting for his train on the opposite side.

you check your phone just the same and look up again as he puts his phone in the pocket of his vest. his attention catches on you from across the way.

he gives you a small wave and smiles. he has a nice smile, infectious.

“hi.”

you wave back with two fingers, a small salute, “hey.”

“i’m eddie,” he starts as the red glow of the light on your train starts to pull in.

the chug, chug, chug starting to drown him out. he raises his voice with a boyish grin, you hear him just before the train obscures him from view – whooshing past you as it pulls into the station. “i normally go to trader’s on wednesdays!”

you get on the train when the doors open, seeing him still on the platform, searching for you in the windows. you put your hand up again in an awkward wave and he grins when he finds you. ‘stand clear of the closing doors, please!’ he puts a hand back up with two fingers, mouthing out a message. ‘wednesdays around two.’

you give him the okay symbol with your fingers and nod at him, chuckling at the ridiculousness of the situation, he chuckles too. his smile is pretty, lips are full. his two fingers point to his eyes and then at you – ‘see you then’.

the train pulls away before you get a chance to reply.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #older!eddie munson #old!eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fan fiction #stranger things #stranger things fan fiction

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the-brucest-fan · 4 days

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In honor of the Knuckles series release today, I made a replica of Knuckles' iconic hat for my Knuckles figure to wear 🤠🥊🔥

It is made entirely of moldable foamy (those damn stars were the hardest part to make due to how small they are)

It also fits Classic Knuckles perfectly 🥹❤️

#knuckles series #knuckles the echidna #knuckles the series #knuckles wachowski #knuckles #movie knuckles #classic knuckles #sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie #sonic movie 2 #sonic movie 3 #sonic art #craft art

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mayhem-things · 1 year

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protective, jealous Euronymous x reader (Rory Culkin)

(828 words)

Øystein and Y/N record his guitar solo in a studio as another , unknown, perfomer joins them in the room. Jealousy gets the better of Euronymous and consumes him completely as a fight between the two men enflames.

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Euronymous, the renowned musician and mastermind behind Mayhem, sat in the dimly lit rehearsal room, strumming his guitar as his girlfriend listened intently. The air crackled with creative energy, their shared passion for music binding them together. Their love had flourished amidst the chaotic and dark world of black metal, where Euronymous reigned as a true icon in her mind.

But on this fateful night, a rival musician entered the scene. Tall, brooding, and mysterious, he was known for his mesmerizing guitar skills and a captivating stage presence. In comparison to him, Euronymous looked like a total poser as he was smaller and not as buff built like the stranger. His eyes lingered on Y/N, her ethereal beauty drawing his attention like a moth to flame. The infamous rival wasn't the first guy who found himself oddly attracted to her yet he was the most outstanding.

Euronymous, ever the possessive lover, felt a pang of jealousy ignite within him. He watched as The tall massive metalhead approached Y/N, his charming smile concealing a hidden agenda. He introduced himself to her while his words dripped with insincere charm, Euronymous tightened his grip on his guitar, his knuckles turning white.

Y/N, though flattered by the attention, remained loyal to Euronymous. She admired Øystein's rivals talent but recognized that her heart belonged to the man whose music had touched her soul from the very first moment. Yet, the intensity of Euronymous' jealousy grew, threatening to consume him.

Unable to contain his emotions any longer, Euronymous stormed over, his eyes ablaze with a mix of fury and insecurity. He grabbed Y/N's hand, pulling her possessively towards him. The tension in the room was palpable as the two musicians locked eyes, a battle of wills silently raging between them. The thick atmosphere was so tense that could cut through air.

"Euronymous, you're hurting me" Y/N whispered, her voice filled with concern as he grabbed her with such a force it shocked her.

Euronymous took a deep breath, his fingers relaxing their grip. He realized that his insecurities were unfounded, that her devotion was unwavering. He nodded, his eyes softening as he embraced the weak, almost scared voice of hers.

"We go" Øystein uttered to deescalate the atmosphere, ending their session for the day. As the two of them wanted to exit the studio, the stranger raised his voice.

"You're not man enough to satisfy her like i could" The tall blonde brought out to provoke the situation further, in success. Y/N eyed her boyfriend with a concerned look as she knew those words wouldn't leave him untouched.

"Don't" she begged but Øystein just couldn't let anyone talk to him like that as it fueled his burning rage even further. Without a warning, he lunges forward, throwing a powerful punch at his rival's jaw. The stranger then swiftly ducks under the blow, countering with a lightning-fast kick to Euronymous midsection. The impact sent him stumbling backward, but he quickly regains his footing. It was clearly visible that the tall blonde guy knew how to fight. Nonetheless Øystein didn't care as anger controlled him. They continue their fierce dance, trading blows with calculated precision. Each strike lands with bone-crushing force, their grunts and heavy breaths echoing through the rehearsal room.

Euronymous manages to land a solid punch to his rivals ribs, causing him to wince in pain. However, he retaliates with a series of rapid strikes, hitting Øystein. The both of them had bruises cover their faces yet they were so hurt in their ego and tough image of the evil bad guy, they wouldn't budge to accept defeat.

"Are you two children?! God stop already" Y/N hissed in disbelief of them fighting over nothing, which left the two unbothered as they were focused on each other.

In a final, desperate move, Øystein launches himself at the buff blonde, tackling him to the ground. They grapple with each other, rolling and twisting, each struggling for the upper hand.

Just as he thought he had the chance they got distracted by the door being swung open.

In the end the owner heard their sounds of Y/N cursing, questioning their intelligence, and the fighting noises. He wasn't amused about seeing small splatters of blood on his rug and such inappropriate behavior at his place so he kicked the three of them out. The tall metalhead nod with a hint of acknowledgement in addition of him quietly exiting the room, leaving Euronymous and Y/N alone. Together they shared a sigh before packing their stuff and also exiting the studio.

"You're such a jerk why would you even sink to that level?" Y/N brought out as it was a useless fight in her opinion.

"I'm man enough for you, now he knows that too"

(maybe to be continued with another one-shot of her treating his wounds?)

#fanfic #fan fic stuff #fan fiction #mayhem #lord of chaos #euronymous #oystein aarseth #rory culkin #xreader

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toomanybandstocare · 2 years

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{Pictures of You, The Cure}

Program: Moving on is so much fucking harder than everyone lets on. Even you do try to work through your feelings and still hang out with your best friend, the new addition to his life can't let you truly feel like you have a place in his life anymore. It's just another night crying in the arms of the one person you stayed with you through it all.

Pairing: Best friend! Eddie Munson x GN, Heartbroken! Reader, Platonic(ish)! Steve Harrington x GN, Platonic(ish)! Reader

Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Learning to move on

Warnings: couple of swears, pet name (babe, dove, missus referring to Chrissy), references to weed, allusions to sex (nothing graphic), heartbreak, trying to move on, slight jealousy, angst, unrequited love

Length: 2316w

Series Program | Camp Upside Down Masterlist

Counselor Notes: Again, thank you so much for the love on the last two parts! <3 I think there's going to be one more part as the finale, and it's probably going to hurt.

Camper List: @girlsvvish @darklingbrekksov @couseland @thoughtfulsweetsharmony

The familiar engine hum and musky scent of lingering THC and nicotine should have welcomed you as you sank into the beat-in passenger seat. Instead, the cacophony of wistful scents now clash with an unbearable ring that vibrates through your skull. Swallowing deep breaths to hold yourself together, the heavy aromas sneak into your system and longing squeezes your airway.

Your lost home on the road, once littered with cigarette buds and cassette cases, now proudly brandishes a green ribbon tied on the rear view window. A varsity cardigan hastily thrown into the back seat when Eddie picked you up that afternoon.

You fidget and sink deeper into the seat, wishing it would swallow you whole and spit you back into the safety of your home, as you take in the new addition to the van. Eyes focusing on your fingers wringing together in your lap, bouncing to his knuckles rapping on the steering wheel, and landing on a polaroid of the future you pined for.

A photo of a young woman, wearing the iconic devil baseball tee, lays on Eddie’s bed and holds his Warlock guitar. You used to dream for the day he would use it to serenade you. Securely tucked onto the main dashboard, it solidifies your place in Eddie’s life.

You pull your gaze away to watch the blurring tree line outside the side window and rapidly bat the runaway tears trying to escape their confinement. He really didn’t have a clue, did he? Or maybe he’s just cruel enough to ignore your pain to hold onto the fading memories of a best friend.

Scoffing at the sudden remembrance of all the promises to hang out, you quickly cover up your contempt with a cough.

“You okay? Got some water in the back seat if you need it,” Eddie reaches behind your seat with one hand on the wheel.

You roll your eyes and grasp his arm with little emotion to stop him. “I’m fine, Eddie. Just some dust,” you pause and send him a slight shit eating grin, “Or maybe it’s the fact you never air out this goddamn van. Nearly got hit with a wall of your stench.”

He barks out a laugh and moves his arm out of your grasp to point at you, “Don’t talk about her like that. You know you love her just as much as I do- hell, I even remember saving you from close calls with curfew when you lost track of time at parties.” Eddie playfully slaps your thigh, leaving a faded fuzz in its spot when he puts his hand back to the wheel.

“Yeah, sure,” you wince at how hoarse your voice sounds. Gulping, you try to even out your speech, “I swear I’m being fucking hot boxed from just the accumulated smell of weed.”

Pulling into the turn off for Lovers Lake and parking the van so the back faces the water, Eddie squints at you in dramatic thought. Comically sniffing the air and then pulling his jacket up to his nose, he pauses and slowly turns to look at you. Eddie moves slightly out of his seat and over the center console to invade your space. Tucking his head against the base of your neck, everything stops for a moment. His curls burn with their soft tickles against the column of your throat. The long missed proximity jumps your heart into a frenzy. Oxygen stops as it concentrates in your lungs to feed the fire rushing in your veins. His deep, warm gaze connects with your wide eyes.

“I think it’s just your rank attitude, dove,” he jokes.

The light headed buzz bursts with the flick of his finger hitting your forehead.

Your jaw drops as you watch Eddie climb out of the van and close the door without a second glance. Fumbling with the latch, hot waves of anger wash over your body. He better have something to numb every ounce of pain he’s caused, whether unintentional or not. Nearly falling out of the van, you march to the back and open your mouth ready to unleash hell.

Whirling the corner, all words dissolve on your tongue and leave a melancholy taste.

Eddie sits on the back ledge, bundled in the blanket the two of you used to build sleepover forts. Next to him, a cooler packed with each of your favorite drinks and snacks.

Eddie watches in giddy excitement as you recognize each piece of his surprise. The polaroid camera you gifted him after Corroded Coffin’s first gig sits in his lap. Opening the blanket bundle, Eddie invites you to join him, “We got a lot to catch up on, huh?”

A searing nervous glee stings as it concentrates on your lash line. You stumble into the embrace you long yearned for and shake your head. “I’ll let your little attitude comment slide. But, only because you got the watermelon ring pops.”

With ease, the two of you settle into lost routine and share stories of the past few months. The scowl scarring your face slowly smoothes into a sincere smile.

Your grin grows as Eddie animatedly recalls how Gareth managed to get stuck on top of a wire fence when they were on the run from a busted house party.

Laughter dances with the descending sun. A staged gasp slips past your aching lips as Eddie reenacts the final moments of the club member’s characters against Vecna.

The tension locked across your shoulders snaps when you throw a nerd for your friend to catch. With the dull collision of his head against the van’s wall, watching as the candy bounce off Eddie’s chuckling form, your heart fills with childlike joy.

Searing flashes blind you from noticing darkening sky and the pom poms tucked behind the back seat. The whirligig gears grind along with shared giggles. Terrible selfie attempts with half a face missing and secret candids piles between the reunited friends.

Whispers sing with the cricket symphony as you and Eddie point out the constellations hanging above. His arm outstretched behind you, so he can hold himself up and direct you to the new one he learned. The scent of worn leather and cinnamon cloud your mind.

You can’t help that Eddie holds your attention better than the unforgiving night sky. The deep hum of his sleepy voice depicts far more happy stories than what the stars have in store for you.

Stopping mid sentence, Eddie looks to the owner of the fervent gaze bruning into the side of his face. Catching you mid-stare, an amused smile forms across his expression as you jump a little. If he can distract you from whatever is causing you so much turmoil, then he’s happy to steal you away from reality for a bit. Pushing onto the forest ground, he stretches to release the growing ache settling in his arms and ruffle his hair to help him wake up.

Unable to stop your eyes from following the rise of Eddie’s band tee, you can’t look away from the faded scratch marks spanning the expanse of his lower muscles. Written declarations of commitment and adoration to a lover that would never be you.

Breaking your gaze and shuffling through the photos laying in your lap, tears silently stream down the side of your face and slip onto the smiling Eddie staring up at you.

“Ready to head back, dove? I gotta get back to the missus- promised we would watch a movie tonight,” Eddie calls from the front seat. The sappy tone of admiration slaps you back to reality.

You slowly push away the lukewarm blanket and place the polaroids on top. Not taking a single one. “Yeah, just making sure we got everything,” your airy response wavers.

Lumbering into the passenger seat, the engine’s hum comes to life as well as the numbness resting in your bones as Eddie shares his date night plans. His rambling, that you once adored, now scratches the back of your mind like nails on a chalkboard. Originally feeling slightly guilty, you now feel grateful for making your own movie night plans.

As he pulls into your driveway, the distinct pang of jealousy flares in Eddie’s chest as the sight of a well known burgundy BMW. Swallowing the bile lump solidifying in his throat, he turns to face you to inquire why Harrington’s car is here. A cold freeze halts his actions when Eddie witnesses you wiping your eyes and withholding sniffles.

The coolness of hard, metal rings sizzles against your flaming cheeks. Softly, your watery, defeated expression is forced to meet the concerned gaze of your best friend. Eddie gently rubs his thumb against your puffy face, “Hey, what happened, dove? I thought we had a good time. A nice walk down memory lane.”

A sob racks through your crumbling form, and you weakly push Eddie’s hand away. You can catch your own tears. He doesn’t get to wipe away the tears he caused.

With a wobbling smile, you release a wispy chuckle, “That’s exactly it, Munson. I just really miss you.”

Eddie leans his forehead against your own, constricting your lungs at the closeness. “Dove,” he calmly cooes, “I’ve missed you too. So much- you have no idea.”

Another broken sob escapes from your sealed lips, and you force out a light laugh to follow. If he really doesn’t know what he’s doing to you, then you won’t let him in. As Eddie reaches out to hold you again, you turn away noticing the porch light flash before the van. Like a moth to a flame, a relieved breath frees itself from your aching lungs. Steve’s tense stance leans against the porch pillar.

Meeting Eddie’s strained expression, “Thanks for today. I miss hearing from you.” You wrap your trembling arms around his neck for a quick hug.

Eddie tightly holds you as close as he can. An unnerving sense of anxiety shoots through him. Every shaky breath that slips from you hits hard against him. The trembling fingers pressing into his neck pierce through his heart. What happened to you? When did the inseparable duo refer to you and Harrington rather than the pair of you?

“We have all the time in the world now. We’ll get through this together, yeah? It’s you and me, dove. Whatever you need, I’m just a phone call away, and I’ll be on my way in a heartbeat,” Eddie promises.

“Thanks, Munson,” you whimper, “You have no idea what that means to hear you say that.”

With a final hug of the evening, you clamber out of the van and hurriedly walk to your awaiting home.

Dragging yourself up the porch stairs and tripping on the slightly shorter one than the rest, Steve catches and pulls you into his safe hold. He waves back to Eddie’s van, not sparing a glance at the still parked vehicle, and tucks you under his arm. The scent of warm vanilla mixed with Earthy undertones clears the lingering hold on your mind from the uncomfortable smell of cinnamon and leather.

As Steve guides you into your house and up to your room, he lists off the movies he brought and what take out places still deliver this late. His voice desperately tries to sound collected as he watches you visibly shrink and curl into yourself.

“Babe, I’m right here,” he holds you in a tender embrace, “Please, don’t lock me out again. I’m here to catch you. I will always be here for you to come back to.”

Dazed, you nod slowly. Processing his words. Memories of identical, past situations flood your mind. Steve held you as sobs choked you after the night out at the roller rink. He’s never left. He’s still here. He’s here now.

You deeply inhale through your nose, the stinging in your chest fizzing out as you push it out your mouth. It’s just you and Steve.

“Can we get pasta and cake from Enzo’s? And watch The Lost Boys?,” you whisper.

Your voice so quiet, Steve has to lean closer to make sure he doesn’t miss your pleading request. “Yeah, of course,” he softly promises. “Want to start it now or wait for when the food gets here?”

You wade past Steve to your desk area and search for a particular cassette. “Can we listen to The Cure while we wait? I’m sorry- I haven’t asked you about your day. How was it? Any particular bad movie picks from customers? Or was it mostly just love-sick Robin rambling about Vickie?” you weakly joke.

Popping the cassette tape in the player, you turn to see Steve already laying relaxed on top of your bed comforter. Mirroring his posture, you lean against the foot rail of your bed, to be able to face him, and clutch a pillow to your chest. The warm scent of vanilla mixes with the remnants of your signature scent that you sprayed on earlier in the day.

Steve sends you a sympathetic look that turns into a weak smile as he chuckles. “Sounds perfect. I was wondering when you would hit this phase of heartbreak- I was worried I’d have to force you to listen to them when I drive you around,” he jokes. The sympathetic look shifts to a soft smile of pride when you allow for your tears to freely fall and let out a watery laugh. “Oh,” he exclaims, throwing his hands into the air. “You will not believe the argument this group had over their movie night,” his voice returning to a lively volume, “It had me and Robin in stitches by the time they left. Christsake, it was a mess. I’ll tell you about it after I call in for food.”

Reaching for the phone on the bedside table, he gently grunts, “What’s the song of the night then, DJ?”

“‘Pictures of you’,” you weakly hum.

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fabuloustrash05 · 9 months

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rank the canon love interests for each turtle, gO (i can't remember if you have already lol)

*cracks knuckles* It’s time for a lightening round of ship ranking!

Disclaimer: I’m rating these girls based on their romantic relationships with the Turtle that crushed on them/had a relationship with. This is NOT a ranking of their individual characters.

Leonardo

Unnamed Women/Yumi’s Mother (Mirage)

2/10

She was just a figment of Leo’s imagination so does she even count?

They have a daughter together which is nice, but also HOW DID THAT WORK??

Raven Shadowheart (Mirage)

7/10

Seems like a good ship

F in the chat for Leo, even when he has a GOOD relationship it can’t last long.

Lotus Blossom (1987)

10/10

The overall BEST Leo love interest.

The fact she gave him a flower to remember her by <3

Lotus deserves to make a comeback!

Can’t believe Nickelodeon chose INCEST over her!!

Karai (2012)

-1000000000000000000000000/10

WHY DID THEY HAVE LEO PULL A LUKE SKYWALKER?!

Koya (IDW)

2/10

I can definitely see the appeal and aesthetically they look good together but the CONTEXT of their relationship is BAD.

LEO IS THE REASON SHE IS DISABLED!!

Lita confirms they get together in the future, but WHY?? They have no romantic chemistry or hints that they like each other romantically. Maybe SHOW us instead of TELLING us!!

Toxic 95% of the time

April (Mutant Mayhem)

7/10

I usually heavily dislike April x Turtle ships, but I can’t deny that they were cute.

Leo’s moment of falling for her was actually kinda cute and funny.

His crush on her is not shoved down our throats like OTHER April x Turtle ships *cough* 2012 Apritello *cough*

I like that they went to prom together <3

But again, I don’t think April should be shipped with any of the Turtles and I don’t see this ship lasting in the long term…

Seems like it’s a one sided crush like Dipper and Wendy from Gravity Falls, so I’m not convinced this will last in the upcoming show/sequel

Raphael

Ninjara (Archie Comics)

2/10

They’re cute but it’s not a really interesting ship

It looks too much like a cheap OC x Canon pairing

Mezcaal (Archie Comics)

7/10

The first and only time one of our Turtles boys have been married, congrats Raph!

A badass married couple

I hope her and Raph are forever happy together running that bar

Mona Lisa (1987)

10/10

Iconic!

Her kissing Raph then calling him “doll” is so cute!

She IS the ideal Raphael love interest. Her and this ship truly left a major impact on the fandom.

She is the go to Raph love interest people think of in any iteration (2003, Rise & MM fans all wanted and made their own version of her in the show)

Joi (2003)

1/10

Meh…

Idk if she counts but I added her cause some people shipped them

She is Raph’s only human "love interest" and it doesn’t feel right to me.

Out of all the Turtles, Raph being with a human feels weird, the other Turtles I’m fine with being with humans. Raph has always been known to date non human characters so this ship doesn’t look/sit right to me, and doesn’t feel like a relationship that would go anywhere.

Alopex (IDW)

2.5/10

I just don’t like it

I guess it’s because I was introduced to Alopex in the 2012 series where in that she’s a 30 year old woman and Raph is a teenager, so this relationship feels weird to me.

Kinda toxic at times tbh but still cute when they need to be (which is rare)

She’s 17 and Raph is 20… But that was apparently “retconned” so Idk what to think

Y’gythgba/Mona Lisa (2012)

10000000000000000000000000000000000/10

THE BEST LOVE INTEREST AND SHIP IN THE ENTIRE SHOW!!

The ONLY GOOD and HEALTHY relationship in the show!

“What a woman…” ICONIC!!

Raph was loyal and Mona was devoted to him!

He falls for her because she punched him in the face. That is both hilarious and very in character for Raph XD

She’s as much in love with him as he is with her!

Badass warrior power couple!

Short King x Girlboss

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!

Donatello

Jhanna (2003)

3/10

Another “Meh” ship to me.

Similar to Joi, does she even count?? Apparently she does to some people and its a ship for 03 fans.

Fan versions of her and this ship from different interactions (1987 & Rise) are more interesting than the actual canon version of them in 03 tbh

I guess I’m just not convinced of this ship and I don’t like how they look together. It’s hard to explain.

April (2012)

4/10

Could’ve worked with a cute “friends to lovers” story but the writers ruined it.

Kinda cute in season 1, got worse after that. Season 5 was them at their best but that’s only because it wasn’t shoved down our throats by that point.

The love triangle brought out the worst in them (and Casey).

I like them better as best friends.

Hottake: Donnie was more of the problem than April.

Like I said in Leo’s ranking, April should NOT be a love interest for any of the Turtles.

Big Foot (2012)

-1/10

Why did this happen??

Batgirl (Batman Crossover Comic)

2/10

Got a thing for redheads, huh Don?

Not a huge fan of big crossover shipping like this, but his crush on her was cute so I’ll admit that.

It was sweet she gave him a kiss on the cheek before leaving. So good for you Don!

Mona Lisa (IDW)

0/10

JUSTICE FOR RAPH X MONA LISA!!

Obviously not my cup of tea.

The Nerd x Nerd trope… wow, so original…

She’s a bitch to him at times and invalidates his trauma.

I really thought her and Jennika were gonna be a thing (which I would’ve preferred more tbh), so her with Donnie as a massive disappointing surprise and feels so forced.

Michelangelo

Princess Seri (Mirage)

2/10

Tragic. She betrayed him. That bitch.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR BABIES??

Also… MIKEY FUCKS??!

Kala (1987)

9/10

UNDERRATED SHIP!!

Two party loving teens who just wanna skate and have fun!

They keep pictures of each other as mementoes. THAT’S ADORABLE!!

Much like Leo x Lotus, we need this ship to make a comeback.

Buffy (1987)

0/10

FUCK THAT BITCH!! SHE TREATED HIM LIKE TRASH!!

Sara Hill (Image Comics)

4.5/10

I’m a sucker for the Turtles dating alien lizard woman.

I like the “friends with benefits” relationship they have. Feels like a Mikey thing he would do regarding his love life.

I love how they bonded over their love of cartoons. Very cute.

She left him for another man though… WTF SARA?!?! YOU BROKE MIKEY’S AND MORE IMPORTANTLY MY HEART!!

Mitsu (TMNT III)

1/10

Bland and boring (Just like the movie!)

Princess Trib (IDW)

5/10

RESPECT TO MIKEY GETTING ALL THE PRINCESSES!! AND THE NEUTRINOS TOO??

Cute, but in the end I prefer him with Kala.

They are the only good Turtle ship (not counting Jennika and her girlfriend Sheena). But that ain’t saying much from me cause they’re still bland at times with little to go with.

How are they one of the better ships in IDW yet they are the most bland and uninteresting couple??

Renet (2012)

9/10

Very adorable!!

Works well romantically and platonically.

They’re both goofballs who are misunderstood by their peers.

Would be a 10 but Mikey was unfaithful...

Renet confirms they have some kind of future together.

I personally can’t see them staying together in the future, maybe having a friends with benefits relationship like him and Sara.

Shinigami (2012)

1/10

I like their dynamic, but not as a romantic one.

“Someone will die…” “OF FUN!” vibes.

Shini is obviously a lesbian and is dating Karai so…

Headcanon: They have playdates with their cats.

April (Bayverse)

0/10

WHAT DID I LITERALLY SAY IN LEO AND DONNIE’S RANKINGS??!!

The one Mikey crush that literally gives me the ick. I don’t like it.

C R I N G E

MIKEY SWEETIE SHE’S A FULL GROWN ADULT!! YOU ARE A CHILD!!

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niki-phoria · 1 year

Note

hi! I was wondering if you could do a reaction for chishiya and kuina on an s/o that likes horror films? Thank you so much n I love your work 🥺

⋆｡°✩ chishiya, arisu, and kuina reaction - their s/o likes horror movies

warnings: kinda ooc chishiya, pretend that he would use petnames, does anyone actually remember goosebumps ??

a/n: thank you for requesting !! i love horror movies so this was really easy and fun to write lol i hope you like it :))

gn reader (no pronouns used)

⋆｡°✩ chishiya

word count 283 i'm obsessed with doctor chishiya slknsl

“what do you mean you’ve never seen halloween?” you stare at chishiya in shock. “we have to watch it. right now. stay put, i’ll go make some popcorn.”

he watches as you make your way into the kitchen, pulling out a pot and a packet of kernels. he silently makes his way into the kitchen, as you heat the pot over the stove and pull out a stick of butter. “it’s just a movie,” he says.

“it’s not just a movie,” you reply. “it’s iconic! it’s halloween! do you even know michael meyers?” chishiya stifles his smile as you continue, melting the butter in the pot before adding the kernels in. “i can’t believe we’ve been together all this time and you’ve never watched one of the best classic horror movies out there.” he slinks over to the other side of the island, sitting down at one of the barstools as you continue. “have you seen scream? or saw? what about texas chainsaw massacre? we have to watch that one too!”

“whatever you want, honey.” you lean over to turn the stove down, monitoring the popcorn to make sure it doesn’t burn. chishiya stands, standing behind you. his hands gently rest on your hips before he pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist. “which other movies have i been missing out on?”

“friday the 13th, nightmare on elm street…” chishiya presses a kiss against your shoulder. “we should watch the goosebumps series too, i used to love that show.”

he pauses, leaning his head on your shoulder. “was that the show with the murderous piano?”

you laugh before chishiya reaches over to turn the stove off. “i think so.”

⋆｡°✩ arisu

word count 234 he's so cute idc that he's terrified

“ah!” arisu gasps at the jumpscare, nearly throwing himself into you in his panic. you poorly attempt to stifle your laugh, covering your face as arisu glares at you. “i can’t believe this. you’re laughing at me!”

“i’m not,” you whine.

“you are!” arisu fails to hide his own smile, playfully pushing you away. you wrap your arms around him, slightly tightening your grip in retaliation.

“okay, fine,” you sigh, keeping arisu in your hold. he squirms against you but doesn’t pull away. “i’m sorry for laughing.”

he relents after a few seconds, pulling you up into a hug. “i guess i can forgive you,” he dramatically sighs, throwing his head back. “but you’ll need to repay me for your betrayal.” you blink up at arisu curiously. the movie has been all but forgotten, still playing in the background.

“cuddles?”

he bites back a smile, nodding. “cuddles.”

you’re quick to push him down onto the couch, maneuvering his body so his back is against your chest. you peer over his shoulder at the screen, wrapping an arm around his waist. arisu curls into your arms, propping himself up with his hand. he pulls your hand up, intertwining your fingers together. he presses a kiss against your knuckles, letting out a content sigh. “i love you.” he murmurs.

you lean forwards to press a kiss against his shoulder, nuzzling against him. “i love you too.”

⋆｡°✩ kuina

word count 286 does the end make sense ??

“don’t move,” kuina whines, holding your face in place as she spreads the cold mixture against your skin. you flinch back a little, trying to ignore the ticklish feeling of the silicone brush. she squints at you in the dim lighting, tilting your face to make sure she covers each area of skin. “there, all done.” she smiles, handing the brush to you. “now do me.”

“your skin is already perfect though,” you murmur, gently brushing the clay mask onto her face. you’re extra careful around her eyes, leaning in a little to make sure you’re covering all of her skin.

you jump back when kuina suddenly leans forwards to press her lips against yours in a quick kiss. she throws her head back in laughter as you sit in shock before chuckling yourself. “sorry,” she whispers, readjusting to calm herself down. “i couldn’t help myself.”

you shake your head, pulling her back down so you can finish applying the mask. “stay still.”

as soon as you finish applying the mask, kuina reaches over to grab the remote, turning on the tv. she scrolls through a few channels before gasping. “they’re playing scream!”

“the original?” you ask, setting the skincare products aside.

she nods, grabbing onto your hand and pulling you to sit next to her. “i love this movie.”

“you love matthew lillard,” you tease. kuina leans into you, pushing you down onto your back so you’re laying on the couch. she makes herself comfortable on your chest as you wrap your arms around her waist.

“i could be the stu to your billy,” she smiles up at you. you press a kiss against her forehead.

“as long as you don’t get us both killed.”

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plural-sunny · 2 months

Text

[Simple Image IDs: Nine icons of Knuckles the Echidna from the Sonic Series on a light reddish orange background. He has a purple pacifier in his mouth in each one. There is a fuzzy, faded white border around him, and a slight orange overlay on him in each one. End IDs.]

movie knuckles paci icons, specifically with the build a bear plushie too!! i can't help but think the first image looks like he is doing the whip

#sfw agere #fandom agere #sonic agere #sonic the hedgehog agere #sth agere #id in description

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sitp-recs · 4 months

Text

HP Rec Fest, Day 19

@hprecfest couldn’t come up with a better prompt on my birthday if they wanted 😂 my moment to be the horny on main has finally come (pun intended) and I had so much fun planning this rec post - it’s been a long time coming too, as naturally this was the very first prompt I checked when the fest started! You can probably guess just by looking at this rec list that I’m a big smut fan and champion. I love reading it, talking about it and reccing it. The fics I reread the most are PWPs and I’m even more obsessed when they offer hot dirty talk (am actually picky about it!) and exceptional character development. In fact, some of the most insightful, sensitive and sophisticated character studies I’ve seen come from deeply underrated smutty fics and I’ll die on this hill!

Today I’m breaking my own rule of only reccing two fics and avoiding stories I’ve recced before because a) this is too good an opportunity to scream about my faves again b) it’s my birthday and I can do whatever I want 😌 the Drarry rec was actually bit more challenging as my usual smutty favorites involve rare pairs. I’ve been working hard to highlight lesser known fics but this time I’m staying true to the request - which of course it’s completely subjective - and chose my favourite even if it’s a widely known and popular fic. I feel so privileged to be reading and reccing these masterpieces as a birthday celebration! You’ll find some of my favourite quotes below, as a treat 🔥

Day 19) fic with the hottest smut

Drarry:

Tales from the Special Branch by Femme (E, WIP)

“You slag," he says, but there's no sharpness to the words. They're warm and soft, and he stills, looking up at Potter, his heart stuttering. "Whore," Potter whispers. It comes out like an endearment, gentle against Draco's jaw.

Draco's eyes flutter shut. His whole body feels heated, flushed, every nerve ending aware of Potter pressed against him. The phial of lube is still clenched tight in his fingers; he lets it slide free, dropping to the coverlet beside them. "I want you," he says. "It's madness, I know. We've lost our bloody minds." He opens his eyes, and Potter's watching him, hair mussed, cheeks pink.

"I can't keep away," Potter says. He strokes a knuckle along Draco's face. "I don't want to keep away."

I considered going for a hidden gem but it was no use, I just had to celebrate this epic classic and stay true to my heart! when it comes to ust and smut imo this is hands down the hottest thing I’ve ever read. there are so many iconic and breathtaking sex scenes it’s impossible to pick just one; I’ve reread most of them more times than I care to admit and they all have carved their way inside my brain. I love how desperately wanton Harry and Draco are for each other in this fic! I keep replaying every dirty word, every slutty kiss, every chaotic and intense af sexual encounter they have over the course of this superb and deliciously long case fic/secret relationship series. at this point everyone and their dog has heard of, and read, this series but if you haven’t yet you’re in for a treat! block your schedule this holiday season and go grab some popcorn for this brilliant masterclass in writing, flangst and smut - so much top notch smut to feast on you’ll want to live in this universe forever. you’re welcome!

Rare pair:

Euphoria by birdsofshore (Albus/Scorpius + Albus/Draco, E, 37k)

"Please." I can see Al's legs quivering. They must be getting tired, hooked over Father's shoulders like that for so long. "Please, Draco. Fuck me. Fuck me some more."

Bloody hell. His words go straight to my prick. Father's arse cheeks clench, and he thrusts forward a little deeper into Al, as if he can't help himself. Al moans, and I don't know what's better, hearing it, or seeing my father's reaction to it.

"Very well." Father pulls back to a kneeling position, his hands gripping Al's thighs. I can see Al's hole stretched around the head of my father's cock. "Watch. You might learn something."

I double dare you to find anything hotter than this fic and believe me, I’ve read TONS of smut across many ships and fandoms. Am I biased due to my particular fondness for age gap and sharing/cuckolding kink? Maybe so 🌝 but I promise you this is unlike any other smut you’ve read before - it’s not only smoking hot with the kind of self-indulgent, relentless athletic sex that leaves you sweating (and horny), it’s also pov multiple written in the first person and how brilliant is that??? birds sells herself short in the AN saying this is just 30k of pure unadulterated porn but I’d argue this is actually a masterpiece, an extremely clever, nuanced and perfectly executed character study, mainly of Scorpius. I am impressed beyond words by what birds was able to deliver in 30k of yes, unapologetic kinky smut. DILF Draco, wanton Albus and sweet conflicted Scorp are a sight to behold and will live rent free in your mind after you read this 🪦

Bonus:

Utter Cockslut (A Worthy Cause) by Lokifan (Drarry, Draco/others, E, 7.5k)

Harry grinned darkly. “All right, Draco, get ready for the last few. Make sure you’re good for them; I’m a man who keeps my promises.”

Draco went up on his toes, craning round to see the next wizard. He strained to make out faces in the murky light; after being fucked by Weasley, he knew it could be almost anyone waiting for their chance to have him.

He felt anxiety shiver through him deliciously. Harry went and spoke to the wizards there, his voice low and businesslike. Giving them instructions on how to use him, maybe? Draco hurt from desire.

gangbang galore!!!! this fic has been one of my favourite PWPs to revisit for some years now. I’ll never get over Lokifan’s smut tbh, every fic was obviously written to check my personal boxes and the pacing, characterization and dialogue are so masterfully done I’m always gutted when it’s over. they’ve written smut for some of my favorite ships and they’re all equally delicious but nothing beats (hehe) this one: downright sinful and decadent as the summary suggests but also surprisingly very sweet! established drarry doing the nasty together is my comfort food and here you can feel how much trust and love they have for each other. Harry & Draco are 100% connected throughout the whole fic and the bits of playful teasing, desperate affection and tender aftercare in-between fucks made me swoon! this is a must read for anyone who loves to see Draco getting some diq and loving it, but also to my fellow Dron fans out there! their smutty times are deliciously hot and so funny too, with a lovable horny Ron being egged on by the devils. HBD me! 😂🎉

#hprecfest2023 #day 19 #fic with the hottest smut #feeling very devious today 😈

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assignmentimprobable · 2 years

Text

Now that I’ve practically finished the Mission Impossible Film Series, i can say a couple things with certainty:

Luther is cool for no reason. I love that hes just the unparalleled smartest, iconic behavior. give him his flowers, he seems like a chrysanthemums kind of guy

Ethan Hunt is nowhere near as unstable as i thought he’d be. a lil disorganized but generally a solid man.

casting Brandt as a woman would have done soooo much to balance out the cast like i have a whole rant prepared & everything

Ilsa Faust could snap my bones and id say ’so does next week work for you?’

they did Nyah sooooo fucking dirty like. somebody needs to be shot (in dramatic slow motion, its the year 2000 yall) for that

Benji in Rogue Nation is the true love interest, from the narrative framing down to the ‘miss me?’. good god that movie was rife with estranged budding romantic tension and buddy duo dynamics between him and Ethan. I hope their sweltering summer wedding went off without a hitch

Walker was a dick for nooo reason, im glad him and his bare knuckle brawling ass got dinked by the short king of the franchise.

#mission impossible #and by ‘practically’ I mean I’m not gonna finish the last 20 minutes of II bc that movie hates women waaay too much #ethan hunt #Nyah nordoff-hall #ilsa faust #august walker #benji dunn #luther stickell #benthan #ethan x benji

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mutenized · 1 year

Text

Celebrity Skin

Eddie Munson x rockstar!afab! Reader

It’s 1991 and Robin forced all of her friends to go to a concert with her for her birthday. Without listening to the band, Eddie agreed to go without knowing what was to come. Who knew being considered a ‘freak’ all his life would lead him to find a kindred soul in the grunge-rock’s princess.

A/n; This is a fuck Courtney Love page but god is Hole such a good band… god damn. This was what was supposed to be a Drabble which is turning into a mini series once more. Who’s surprised? Not me. Listen to Celebrity Skin by Hole as you read this

Word count: idk it started as a Drabble

Notes/warnings: none really??? Slight mention to a chase in a romantic way, wet dream mention

MASTERLIST // PART TWO

"Come on Eddie!” Steve's voice called out as he, Robin, and Nancy weave haphazardly through the large crowd to try to get closer to the stage. The fuzzy haired brunette wasn't easy to lose, his height paired with his hair made him Stand out in the crowd. As soon as ruddy knuckles latch on the cool metal of the barricade, the shared adrenaline rush settled upon the quartet, specifically Robin whose birthday they were celebrating. The big 23, her coming-to-christ year she called it. Though that's what she called every birthday since moving to Indianapolis with Steve, Eddie following soon after with Gareth. The year is 1991, the height of grunge rock piquing the interest of many who considered themselves misfits.

Earlier in Steve’s nice muscle car he had just purchased, Robin had enthusiastically explained ( or rather info-dumped) all that the other three needed to know about the band they were seeing. Female singer, iconic, friends with Nirvana. That's all Steve absorbed as he hadn't branched out stylistically at all. Nancy, on the other hand, rented a cassette of the band's debut album before, surprisingly, falling in love. "Guys! Her voice is like…" Nancy trailed off as she tried to correctly describe the velvet textured voice that blessed her ears. "Pure sex!" The other girl sputtered out which made Eddie chuckle and Steve choke.

Now there they all stood,against cool metal bars that sat at their hips as the lights dimmed and the venue filled with roars. The first rifts began to play as the bassist and drummer took position on stage followed by the rhythm guitarist. Then there you were; ripped stockings, beat up doc martens, a slip dress and a cheetah print jacket that you slung over the corner of the drumming platform just to expose your ink stained arms.

“Oh make me over, I'm all I wanna be" the rugged yet smooth texture of your voice filled the venue as your paint-chipped nails worked the neck of your guitar with finesse. Your voice continued to grit out the lines "A walking study in demonology" followed by the belting of a "hey!" from the entire band.

Nancy and Robin screamed the lyrics along with the rocker who worked the stage like she's done this for twenty years. Yet, she's only twenty-two. Eddie was in awe, his jaw on the floor as he drank you in. For a moment, he sworeyou saw him which made him jolt straight up before finally joining his two friends in wildly thrashing their heads around.

Hopping down from the stage, you began to sing from the crowd before stopping right in front of the fated group of friends. Noting Robin's ‘birthday bitch' pin, you give her a wink before gently hading her chin and delivering the next line which you dramatically performed. "Well look at my face!"you chanted with A growl, moving to the well-groomed man next to her. He reminded you of what you ran away from; normalcy, dated expectations. Suburbia; the thing you dreaded most.

"My name is ‘might-have-been’” a playful pout played on your plump, plum painted lips as you ruffled his perfectly quaffed hair. "My name is ‘Never-was’” rolling your eyes teasingly at Nancy, you stuck your pierced tongue out at her before you were in front of your intended target. Eddie, though you didn’t know his name yet. All you knew was that from the moment you walked on stage you had become his new, unobtainable wet dream. As you toyed with his friends, the chocolatey-doe-eyed man anxiously rolled his vertical labret piercing between his teeth.

Grabbing hold of his vest with your free hand, you pulled him close enough to see his blown out pupils. Leaning in by his ear, you sang lowly all before biting the air right by the lobe of his ear which caused him to flush a beet red. “My name’s forgotten.” Another belting round of ‘heys’ filled the air as you hopped back under the heated stage lights. They made you look like an angel, Eddie thought. Before, he had been on the fence of staying by the stage door waiting with his friends for a small chance to meet you. Now he was more adamant than Robin and Nancy had been, combined.

He was going to make the unobtainable, obtainable and you sensed that from him the moment you got close to him. You wanted to be obtained by the brooding metal head who got your focus before the show even began. Your eyes catching him and his friend group from your spot by the tour bus as a cigarette hung from your lips.

Obtain me.

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babiebom · 5 months

Text

The Wizard and I

A/N: here’s to kicking the series off with a song from an iconic musical! It’s not my favorite song from the musical, but I thought that it would fit since I wanted to write something about Rasmodius! Keep in mind that none of these fics have anything to do with each other, they aren’t even the same media(like this one is stardew and the next could be not stardew y’know) hope you enjoy!! Also if you’ve heard the song or have seen the musical you already know that this is going to be iffy

Tw: cursing, the wizard is a morally uncool person in this, reader has a big old honkin crush on him, magic is used in uncool ways. Someone is turned into something else. Potions used negatively, implied cheating, revenge, bad ending.

Pairing: Magnus Rasmodius x witch!Reader (stardew valley/gender neutral)

Genre: angst, single chapter fic/ oneshot, strangers to mentor to lovers(sorta)

Wc:5.3k

Musical Series Masterlist

When I meet the Wizard. Once I prove my worth. And then I meet the Wizard. What I've waited for since, since birth. And with all his Wizard wisdom. By my looks, he won't be blinded. Do you think the Wizard is dumb? Or like Munchkins so small-minded? No, he'll say to me I see who you truly are. A girl on whom I can rely. And that's how we'll begin. The Wizard and I.

When you first moved to Pelican Town, you were immediately curious about the old wizards tower on the edge of the woods. Everyone around you brushed it off when you asked about it, telling you to stay away or that the man inside was insane or a hermit. The only people who didn’t talk down on him were Merlin, who felt neutral about the mysterious man, Abigail who thought he was the coolest thing in the town, Linus who liked him, and Caroline who acted suspiciously and had nothing to say. Needless to say your curiosity in him grew.

It took weeks before you could finally meet him, weeks that you didn’t know could be spent getting to meet him quicker. You liked the old community center, but held off on going in until you had made yourself comfortable in your new home. If you would’ve known that he would contact you the second you had gone in there with Lewis you would’ve asked about it much sooner. Your heart thumps in your chest as you grip onto the strange letter that was put into your mailbox.

His tower is smaller than you thought, not taking up as much space as you assumed a tower would. As you climb up the steps, your heartbeat quickens. You’re actually going to meet him, you’re going to meet a real life wizard that will actually help you hone in your skills rather than having to learn alone. His garden is small, and has only a single large cauliflower in it, but you stop anyway. It’s a marvel to look at, and you needed to calm down before you made a fool of yourself. Breathing in, you take large steps towards his door, bringing a hand up to knock.

Your knuckles don’t even touch the wood of the door before it creaks open by itself, the lack of light somewhat intimidating you. Maybe he just didn’t turn the light on in the entrance of his home. You step in silently, spinning as the door closes softly behind you. “Hello?” You call out, walking in with steps so small that you might as well have stayed in the same place. A deep rumbling voice pierces your ears and makes your heart flutter.

“Hurry up, enter, we have many things to talk about.” Your heart pounds as you rush further into his home.

The living room is larger than you thought it would be, open and only having a large cauldron as the furniture. The walls held nothing of sentimental value, instead bookcases line the walls, the only real decoration being a rug under the cauldron. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m the new farmer that moved in on the old farm north of you.”

You are taken aback by his appearance. His hair and beard a vibrant purple, very similar to Abigail’s hair. His hat sat atop his head, covering it and the hair that flowed from beneath it, it looked almost like a cowboy hat, but revamped to look cooler. God, you were expecting an old man with grays everywhere and a wizard's hat so goofy that you would have to stop yourself from laughing.

His dark eyes flicker up to look at you for a second before going back to watch whatever he was brewing. He doesn’t bother to return your pleasantries, instead he moves away from the cauldron to stand in front of you, staring down without saying anything. You want to cut through the silence by saying something, but saying something might make him dislike you, he didn’t seem like the type to enjoy jokes, or small talk. “You may call me Rasmodius. I am Seeker of the arcane truths, mediary between physical and ethereal. Master of the seven elementals. I have so many more titles, but I'm sure you get the point.”

You nod quickly, immediately taken with his confidence and air of importance. You wanted that for yourself, not in an evil way. You didn’t want to boast or brag. You just wanted to feel good about yourself, you wanted a reason to feel confident and important. “I have long foreseen your arrival, Farmer. I have been waiting a long time for you to get here.”

Your breathing stutters. He has been waiting for you? For a while? You just blink at him in shock. You hadn’t even known when you were coming here that there would be someone like you…someone that exceeded natural limitations and is something more. And here he is, telling you that he already knew you were going to end up here, as if it’s your destiny or something. “Here, I’d like to show you something.”

He moves back away from you, towards the circle on the floor. The candles are already lit, and before he moves again he sends a smirk your way. “Behold!”

A flash of light burns your eyes for a split second before you see the very thing that you had seen back in the community center. It quite obviously wasn’t a rat like Lewis had tried to convince you of, but you had no idea what it actually could be. It was green and tiny, bouncing on small feet as if it were an idle video game character. It’s…cute! It makes a high pitched noise, eyes flickering between you and the wizard. “You’ve seen one before…haven’t you?” He asks.

“Yes, sir, in the community center.”

“And before that?”

“I can’t say that I have.” For a second he looks disappointed in you, and you want to change your answer and claim to have forgotten. But maybe he values honesty more than lies to seem cooler, you know you do. The thing makes another high pitched noise, snapping you out of your inner turmoil.

“They call themselves ‘Junimos’,” he chuckles for a second, eyes not leaving the tiny creature, “Mysterious spirits, these ones…for some reason, they refuse to speak with me.” His eyebrow quirks up, and the Junimo disappears after he does something with his hands.

He smiles at you, freezing your heart in place, then melting it. You felt warm inside, he made you feel warm inside. “I’m not sure why they’ve moved into the community center, but you have no reason to fear them.”

You move closer to him, to the source of warmth, and open your mouth to speak. “I…um. I found a golden scroll inside the community center, but it was written in a language I don’t understand. What should I do?”

“A golden scroll in an unknown language…most interesting…” his eyes light up and he snaps his fingers causing you to flinch. “Stay here. I’m going to see for myself. Don’t worry, I’ll return shortly.”

You frown at him, he was going to just leave you in his home? It will probably take at least an hour and a half to walk to the community center from here, and the same amount of time back. Were you supposed to just sit here? Before you could protest, the man spins himself around quickly, immediately disappearing from your view. What the fuck?

You spin around, trying to see if he’s tricked you or something, but you’re met with an empty house. You let out a breath, letting your lungs empty themselves from the anxiety that built up while you were in his presence.

As you breathe, the door behind you rattles, causing you to turn much too quickly that it causes you to get dizzy. All Rasmodius does is chuckle at your clumsiness. He moves towards the cauldron, smiling to himself. “I found the note…”

“That’s good! Were you able to read it?”

“The language is obscure, but I was able to decipher it: We, the Junimo, are happy to aid you. In return, we ask for gifts of the valley. If you are one with the forest then you will see the true nature of this scroll.”

You frown, obviously you weren’t one with the forest. You were a witch that had no idea how to use your powers, and lacked skills from the lack of a teacher. Now your ignorance was exposed because you weren’t ‘one with the forest.’ Before you could open your mouth to say something, Rasmodius spoke first.

“Hmm…’one with the forest’…what do they mean?”

He stood there silent for a minute, the only sound coming from him was the sniffling of his nose. “Ah-ha! Come here!” He beckons you over with a large grin. You immediately comply, rushing to his side to stand in front of the bubbling cauldron. The green mist coming from it smells nice, it smells like the earth and dirt. He grips your shoulders in excitement, it sends a wave of shock through your body. He was touching you? He had to have had a breakthrough or something.

“My cauldron is bubbling with ingredients from the forest. Baby fern, moss grub, caramel-top toadstool…! Can you smell it?” He pushes you closer to the mist, letting you breathe in the scent once more. He grabs a ladle and dips it into the cauldron, bringing up murky liquid and pouring it into a cup.

“Here, drink up. Let the essence of the forest permeate your body.”

You frown, not really wanting to drink first juice, but then again you didn’t want him to be disappointed in you. You’re a witch for god's sake! Drinking weird potions came with the label. He hands you the cup, and you stare down into it, breathing in deeply to try and calm yourself down. Swallowing the saliva in your mouth, you bring the cup up to your mouth and tilt it back.

The liquid is thicker than you would’ve liked, but for a second you felt fine. Your stomach rumbles, and you are overcome with the urge to vomit, you suck down gulps of air, only making the feeling worse as the taste was less than pleasant. Did you really just drink something random from his cauldron without an ounce of doubt? You hold your belly, trying to hold the vomit down, and the air around you turns green, as if the mist started filling the air while you were preoccupied. Your vision blurs and sways as you swallow down the spit that’s accumulating in your mouth. All you can see is green after a moment, and that fills you with panic.

The feeling subsided after five whole minutes, five horrible minutes, then your body vibrates in a way that confuses you. You can feel the air around you change, you can feel the earth in a way you haven’t before. Oh! You’ve gained the power of forest magic! Cool! Sucks that the potion tasted like ass.

Rasmodius starts shuffling you out of his tower, and you want to cry. Sure this is what you came for, but you still wanted to speak with him more. It almost felt like he was using you to communicate with the Junimos.

“When you finish gifting the Junimos, come tell me. Until then, don’t bother me.”

It took weeks, months, almost an entire year for you to gather everything to restore the community center. It took so much energy that you wanted to give up before you could complete anything. Sure farming was easy enough, but how are you supposed to make a living when the Junimos want everything that is the best quality? All you could do was remind yourself that you had to prove your worth in order to get Rasmodius to like you, to prove that you are worthy of teaching, worthy of someone enjoying your presence.

So you farm, dig, fish, barter, all for things to gift to the Junimos so they would in turn help the community. Every completed bundle you would hope you would find something, maybe a letter, in your mailbox from Rasmodius. No letter ever came. Yet you persist. You continue gifting, and the Junimos continue restoring things around the community center and the town. Eventually you bring the community tiger, you get Pam her old job back, you make the town a better place to live in, a warmer place to live in. Hell, you did so good that Joja Corporation left the town fully, not seeing any bright future when the small town was now tight knit to shop anywhere other than from someone within the community. Still, no letter came.

You befriend the Junimos during that time, laughing every time one or more of them come out to follow you around the community center. Their voices too quiet for you to catch more than a couple words, it didn’t scare you though, they were too friendly to try to hurt you. They were sweet, cute, almost like very smart pets that could understand exactly what you say. You could never keep one though, it seemed wrong. They seemed to like you enough, sometimes even helping out at the farm without you having to ask. Life was good without him, but there was still that nagging feeling that you needed to be around him. Maybe it was a crush, maybe it was the want to be better, it didn’t really matter, he didn’t wish to see you anyways.

Until he did…

You got a letter in the mail on a random weekday, asking for you to bring him some void essence that he could have. Your heart pounded with excitement that he had finally reached out. You spent all day down in the mines, cutting down monsters with your sword so energetically that you had to leave only after a couple of hours having run yourself ragged. Still, he wanted to see you, and maybe he would be happy when you brought him more than he needed.

The very next day you hurry to his tower, void essence in a cute little bag, just for him. Like with everyone else’s houses, you just walk in spotting him next to the cauldron, just like he was the last time you had seen him. “I have the void essence you wanted…”

His eyes meet yours and for a second you feel small under his gaze until he smiles at you, moving with his hands outstretched for the bag. You hand it over quickly, watching as he takes a bit of the essence out of the bag and plops it right into the cauldron. A purplish black smoke fills the air, causing the both of you to start coughing violently.

“Well,” he coughs, waving a hand around, “guess I should be glad that you brought me a bagful.”

His laughter makes you feel better, he didn’t hate you at all! Maybe he just needed to focus on his magic. “I finished restoring the community center with the help of the Junimos…” you start. You didn’t want to fade into an uncomfortable silence before he kicked you out again. You at least wanted to ask him if he could train you.

“I've seen. You’ve done good work bringing the community together. Did you ever find out anything about the Junimos?”

“No, not really. They’re just sweet little creatures that enjoy nature.”

“I see…” his eyes get a glaze over them as he falls back into his mind, and you watch in confusion. Were you supposed to be finding something out? God, you fucked up everything, huh?

“They have to have a little power though, right? They fixed the minecarts and the bus. I didn’t really have to rebuild anything in the community center; they did it all themselves overnight.”

He nods at your words, and the both of you once again fall into silence. “So um, I was wondering…if um…” Rasmodius doesn’t look up as you stutter over your words, and while it somewhat helps that he isn’t staring at you as you’re trying to ask, it sort of hurts that he isn’t really paying attention after you’ve (somewhat) gathered up the courage to ask him literally anything. “If you could, um, be my mentor? Teach me how to use magic? I mean, I’m already a witch, so it’s not like you’re starting from scratch, I just need help concentrating on using my powers, and potions, and…stuff.”

“Huh?” He finally looks up, only for a second, right into your eyes, “oh, sure. Be here next week at 9 pm.”

Your breath catches in your throat as you stare at him. Surprise crawls it’s way up your spine, he agreed way more easily than you thought he would. “Oh! Okay! See you next week!” You grin and walk out of his tower, your steps threaten to turn into hops as giddiness runs its course through your body.

Things are starting to look up.

A cloud of green smoke puffs up from the cauldron and into your lungs, you cough loudly as you fan your hand in the air, trying to get the rest of the smoke away from you. “And what did you do wrong?” Rasmodius asks, an unhappy look adorning his features. You frown sheepishly, embarrassment filling your body.

“I think I didn’t mix fast enough?” You question. It was hard to know what you were doing wrong when all you could focus on was not fucking up, and not disappointing him. With your luck you managed to do both.

“No!” His frown deepened, his dark eyes fixed into a glare. “You mixed too quickly, and too many times! The recipe says to mix 26 times counterclockwise at a moderate pace, then mix 38 times clockwise at a slow pace! You did all 64 one way and too quickly!”

“I’m sorry-“

“You need to pay more attention. It’s as if you’re not taking this seriously!”

Your heart drops into your ass at his words. Of course you were taking this seriously, this was all you ever wanted. You stutter out sounds, trying to deny his claims but all you can do is clammer up. He groans and tells you to repeat the potion.

Your heart beats erratically in your chest, in trying to concentrate harder all you do is make it worse, now being unable to read the words on the page. You fight the urge to tear up and fail, the tears running down your cheeks like a landslide. You try to keep your calm while remaking the potion, but again it puffs up in suffocating smoke as your tears add a component that wasn’t meant to be in it. You whimper quietly in mortification. What were you going to do now?

Rasmodius lets out another groan from somewhere beside you, the annoyance clear in his voice. “Go home. Practice making the spell right and return here next week. It’s clear that you’re not going to get anything done right now.”

You nod and gather your things and the ingredients you need to practice making the potion, maybe you just needed to calm down. As you speed walk out of his tower, your goodbyes fall on deaf ears, he doesn’t reply even as the door swings shut behind you. Taking in a shaky breath, you let the tears fall freely, releasing the burning sensation that had taken over your entire face from how hard you were trying to keep your composure.

‘He’s just trying to look out for me,’ you think to yourself, your steps heavy as you walk home. ‘He just wants me to do my best…’. It seems as if everything that goes up, must come down.

You squeal in excitement as your potion turns out the correct color, on your first try. You grin happily, it had been months since you first started being mentored by Rasmodius, and while some of it was harsh and difficult, you see now exactly why he had been tough on you. It was more rewarding than you thought it would be finally completing your first potion on your own. The wizard grabs you and pulls you into a hug, a bright smile on his face. Your stomach bursts into butterflies as he holds you. “Amazing!”

For the past few months he’s been tutoring you, correcting you, making you the best witch that you can be. And just a little it’s paid off. Soon enough, you’ll be great, soon enough you’d be able to save people. This potion is just a test, to see if you could make something. It’s supposed to turn a person into a dove. Something that Rasmodius says he can already do without anything helping him. “Now, we just need a practice dummy.”

“A practice dummy?” You ask, looking at him in curiosity. He never said anything about using it on someone, but then again you think, how else would you be able to tell if you’ve made the potion correctly or not?

“Yes!” He looks absolutely giddy over the thought of you testing this on something.

“What are we testing it on?”

His eyes are alight with mischief, and yet he doesn’t answer you. Something seems off, but you can’t bring yourself to seem upset or care about it, he just looks so happy.

“Pierre?” You exclaim in horror, staring at Rasmodius. He nodded vigorously, seemingly excited about using the dove potion on Pierre. You didn’t understand why, and he refused to elaborate as he tried to convince you to get him to drink the potion.

“He is on his way here now! You have to get him to drink the potion.”

“And turn him into a dove? I don’t think I can do that, sir.”

“You will, or you can stop showing up here.”

Your heart drops and beats inside of your stomach. He was making you choose between turning a man into a dove for however long, and your work with him? By first look it seems like an obvious choice: do NOT turn the innocent man into a dove that’s RUDE. But your heart wanted you to choose Rasmodius, to not give up on learning how to be the best witch that you can be, even if it takes doing morally questionable things. So that’s what you do, accept what he wants you to do.

When Pierre knocks on the door he looks pissed, and he barges in without saying anything to you. “Where is he?”

You’re confused, even though you know he probably means Rasmodius. “He-he’s here somewhere. I mean it is his house and all. Why are you here?”

Pierre finally looks at you in confusion, as if he’s seeing that you’re in the same room as him for the first time. “He called me here to talk about my wife! As if he knows her at all. Y’know I knew something was up when she took all those walks nearby. I shouldn’t have trusted that man.”

“Do…do you want any tea? While you wait?”

Pierre frowns then nods after a second, as if you’ve made a wrong choice by not meeting him at the door with tea. So you nod, and go and heat some up in a kettle, adding the potion and mixing it. It’s only a bit, the cup tiny, only enough for a shot. But it should be enough for him to turn. You return to the living room, handing Pierre the cup. He downs it immediately, smacking his lips loudly in disgust. His face twists up unhappily and he glares at you.

“Did it taste okay?”

“No it didn’t taste okay! It tasted horrible! Why offer to make tea if you don’t know how to?”

You blink in surprise at his words, maybe he was just upset at Rasmodius’ supposed affair with Caroline. Maybe somewhere in his brain he knows that he’s going to be turned into a dove.

Rasmodius reveals himself after a second, a smirk on his face. For some reason something feels wrong about this scenario, but he’d never actually hurt anyone…would he? “You know…I’ve been waiting on this for a very long time, Pierre.”

You frown and back away from the man. What the fuck is happening? “You stay away from my wife!”

Rasmodius shrugs his shoulders, still smirking at him as if he’s looking forward to the man being turned into a dove. Is this all he used you for? “Well you won’t be able to do anything about it now. Not anymore.”

Pierre grunts in pain, gripping his stomach and doubling over. “What did you do to me?” He screams out as he drops to his knees. You rush over to him only to be shoved away with all of his remaining energy.

“You never said it was going to cause him pain!” You shout at Rasmodius and he shrugs again. “How long will this last? I mean he won’t be a dove forever will he?”

“He will, but it’s okay. No one will know what we did. The idiot didn’t tell anyone he was coming here. So as long as no one has seen him, no one will know.”

Pierre screams out again, the pure agony in his voice causes you to flinch and cover your ears. “But still! He’s in pain! And he can’t be a dove forever! What about his family?”

“They’ll be okay without him.”

You blink at him, where did this attitude come from? Like actually what is wrong with him? Pierre lets out one final shriek, body writhing on the ground. White feathers grow out of his skin, and you can hear his bones cracking loudly as his arms force themselves into itself. His mouth and nose stretch out and combine, and his head shrinks.

It looks absolutely painful and by the end he is a tiny little bird, ruffling its wings. Rasmodius picks it up and throws the dove Pierre into a cage rather roughly. You gasp as his tiny little body crashes into the bars, a sort of yelp coming from his beak. Guilt wraps itself around each and every body part of yours, around each and every internal organ you have. You almost want to vomit from the feeling. Rasmodius just laughs, locking the cage not even looking at you.

You’ve definitely done something wrong.

Going into town has been something you’ve avoided for weeks now, unable to handle seeing Caroline and Abigail cry at all. They have no idea what has happened to Pierre, and it’s not as if you can tell them since you’re responsible, so you avoid them at all costs. Now the only person you interact with is Rasmodius, and sometimes it feels as if you were stuck with him. He kept a close eye on you now, watching your every move. He told you as much. If he goes down, so do you.

Your body sags as you enter the tower, it’s become normal for you to be unable to sleep, yet the man you thought you idolized and maybe even loved seemed more like a stranger. Maybe he had always been one.

You hear a small squeal as you enter the tower, causing you to rush in, heart and head thumping. A tiny blue Junimo lies underneath the boot of Rasmodius. You don’t know what he was doing, but it seemed as if he was going to do something unthinkable.

You rush in, pushing Rasmodius down and off of the Junimo. It seemed smaller than the others, and the second his boot was off of it, it disappeared. “What are you doing?”

He glared at you so hard you felt as if your insides were on fire. Is this really the man you had a crush on? “Getting them to give me what I want. More power.”

“But that looked like a baby! And you can do enough, what do you need more power for?”

“To protect people! To protect everyone! No one else would need to die if I could just figure out how to get a little more power. If I could get the secrets of the universe! I know the Junimos have it.”

“So you’re going to torture them until they give in?”

He gets up from his position on the floor, and his eyes flash with something that causes a shiver to go down your spine. “Farmer! You don’t think that I’m actually going to harm them right?” He moves towards you slowly.

“You hurt Pierre, turned him into a dove, his family is hurt too…”

“Oh but you did that, you made the potion and gave it to him. I just supplied the space. Besides, you know I just want what’s good for the world right? You trust me.”

“I don’t know…” he’s touching you now, a hand on your shoulder and one wrapped around your waist. You can feel his breath on your face from how close he is.

“I mean, you wanted to be with me right? Well you can, I’m giving you a chance. Just…ignore my methods and help me save everyone. Be my assistant and everything will be fine.” He presses a quick kiss to your lips and your heart flips uncomfortably. It wasn’t how you thought it would be…the feeling was more painful than you imagined your heart would be in.

“I don’t think so…”

“Imagine the power…how much people will worship us for saving all of humanity. No more wars, no more killing…all because of us.”

You want to fall for it so badly, but the tone of his voice keeps you from falling into a delusion. He never loved you at all, and now he’s using your crush on him to try to manipulate you. If he had been a little less insane sounding, you probably would’ve fallen for it, for him. But now all you can feel are ants crawling in the places that he’s touching you in.

“No”. You scramble backwards, away from him and the sheer insanity he was exuding, there’s obviously something wrong with him. It was like there was a shadow, around his body, shrouding everything in black. Turning to run, he stops you, tackling you to the ground. The wind is knocked out of your lungs as he sits on top of you. Your stomach twists in fear. What was he going to do?

Your mouth is forced open and he pours something on your face. It burns so badly that you feel as if your skin is melting. You scream out, your vision flickering as you struggle to stay awake, he holds you still beneath him. The last thing you hear is his laughter as you’re forcibly put to sleep.

The light fills your eyes as they’re cut on all too suddenly. ‘He’s back!’ Rasmodius enters the basement of his tower, staring at you with affection in his eyes. You can’t help but feel absolute happiness as he looks at you. You push your hands through the bars of your cage, rattling your chain in order to reach out to him.

He shoves food into your hands, sitting in his chair as he watches you devour your first and last meal of the day. You’re a good pet, he’s trained you to be. He laughs and you look up at him to smile, mouth full. While you don’t remember how you got here, you know you only have one job, to do whatever he wants.

Man, isn’t life great?

And I'll stand there with the Wizard. Feeling things I've never felt. And though I'd never show it I'd be so happy, I could melt. And so it will be for the rest of my life. And I'll want nothing else 'til I die. Held in such high esteem. When people see me, they will scream. For half of Oz's favorite team. The Wizard and I

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asofterhibou · 7 months

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I make no promises of how many of these I will do, but in honor of the Great Magicians Rewatch, here's a part one of a recap of The Magicians season one, episode one, "Unauthorized Magic", for anyone who didn't have time to rewatch but wants a refresher. Notes about spoilers and warnings below the cut.

Spoilers: for season one obviously and also probably future seasons, as I'm not going to hold back commenting on future episodes.

Warnings: The Magicians has so many warnings, friends. So many. I would ask you to please google the warnings for this show if it's at all an issue, but general series warnings: graphic violence, graphic sexual assault, child abuse, heavy themes of depression and suicide, suicide committed on screen at one point, themes of drug and alcohol abuse, graphic animal death.

We begin in New York City in 2015, on a busy city street. A door opens in one of the graffitied buildings and reveals, impossibly, a sunny green lawn on the other side. A man walks through; he's Henry Fogg, Dean of Brakebills University, and he sits on a bench and has a cryptic conversation with a woman named Eliza.

She's late, he says, which in context is very funny. She drops a dead moth on his newspaper and tells him, "It's happening."

"They're not even at Brakebills yet," Fogg says, and she tells him to get 'them' there, and hope they get a little something under their belts before 'he' finds them.

They argue about how much control is possible over the situation, and whose responsibility it is, Eliza saying that Fogg has to train them, because they know nothing, especially 'him'.

"I will do what I can," Fogg says, and Eliza gives him a pocket-watch, tucking it into his jacket pocket.

"You still have an eye on our boy, don't you?" Eliza asks, and Fogg says yes, before admitting the answer is "not exactly."

"Why not? Where is he?"

Cut to: the Statue of Liberty, and a sign saying 'Midtown Mental Health Clinic', and then to a spinning coin on a table, and a finger reaches out to stop it in place - finally, our boy, Quentin Coldwater, hoodie-clad and rolling the quarter across his knuckles before using sleight of hand to make it disappear, as the opening notes of MGMT's 'Pretend' start up, and yeah, it's an excellent fucking intro.

"Wow, nice trick," the psychiatrist sitting across the table from him says, and Quentin looks at her and makes the quarter appear again in his hands.

"I'm sure you're a hit at parties," she says, and Quentin grimace-smiles in a way that says about a million words.

Cut to the party in Julia's loft that night, full of people dancing - and Quentin sitting in a beanbag chair with a red plastic cup in his hands and staring pathetically at the ass of the girl dancing in front of him. She catches him staring and leaves, Quentin hiding his face behind the cup, and we get a back and forth between Quentin being godawful at parties and the conversation earlier that day with the psychiatrist where he tries to convince her that he is totally good to sign himself out of the clinic and leave, despite having signed himself in saying that he couldn't eat or get out of bed, felt like he didn't belong anywhere and was the most useless person who ever lived. (shout-out to Quentin telling someone at the party that the Danish version of a film is better because "the Danish people have a dark soul," iconic, unforgettable) Quentin tells the psychiatrist that when you're a kid you have notions about what life is and what it could be - but eventually you have to let all that go, and that's what he's doing. "It's part of growing up. Selling the comic book collection and getting serious."

At the party, Julia tries to gesture Quentin over to where she and James are sitting, but he retreats.

The psychiatrist asks him what he's doing after graduation, and Quentin tells her he has a grad school interview for Yale on Tuesday. When she says she would recommend further treatment, Quentin says quickly that he's never threatened to hurt himself or anyone else, so she can't make him stay, his confidence slipping slightly at the end with a "Can you?"

Back at the party, Quentin’s hiding in his room reading a book, his meds on the nightstand, his room filled with books and memorabilia of Fillory and Further, a fantasy series. The book he’s reading is Fillory and Further Book One, The World in the Walls, it’s got a old-fashioned cover with a picture of a grandfather clock with rams’ heads carved into the top. We get Quentin’s voiceover giving a summary of the book: the Chatwin siblings Martin, Rupert and Jane had been sent to the countryside, and the three of them enter into the doorway of the grandfather clock and emerge into a forest filled with trees with clocks inside them, a fountain and a castle in the background: the magical land of Fillory.

Julia comes to find Quentin in his room, and tries to talk to him about the girl whose ass he was ogling earlier, because she was wearing a unicorn t-shirt and so clearly is into fantasy, which speaks to a certain level of desperation of Julia’s part here I think. She comes to sit next to him on the bed, Quentin defends his party-reading by saying he’s getting a last look at the first edition before selling it on eBay. Julia scootches down next to him, shoulder to shoulder, says she was calling him all weekend, her voice getting quiet. “Where were you?” Quentin lies and says he was at his dad’s. Julia leans over to kiss his cheek just as her boyfriend James comes in, who fakes shock and then leaps onto the bed yelling “Threesome!” (I love how hard they go at foreshadowing the actual threesome, it’s so important to like, the themes, guys.)

It’s the day of Quentin’s grad interview and Julia’s walking him there, both of them in their wool-coat dark academia best, talking about how Quentin shouldn’t stress at all, “It’s only the alumni interview. It’s only Yale.” “Right, lesser Ivy.” Quentin says Julia doesn't have to come in with him, she smooths his hair and tells him to tighten his shit, their whole relationship in a nutshell.

They go into the house for the alumni interview, there’s no one answering their calls but there is an extremely familiar grandfather clock. And then Julia screams, because there’s also a dead body sprawled in the chair in the corner.

The paramedics are wheeling the body away, and one of the paramedics is Eliza. She hands Quentin a manila envelope before Quentin and Julia leave, saying that she thinks the dead alumni guy had left it for Quentin.

Out in the street, Quentin opens the envelope and finds a handwritten manuscript titled Fillory and Further Book Six, dated 1952. Quentin starts losing his shit in excitement - there are only five Fillory books but there have been rumors of a sixth, Julia is much less enthused. (I get that this has to lead up to the fight they’re about to have, but getting randomly handed a Fillory manuscript from the dead alumni guy’s house actually is pretty weird, so it’s a little strange Julia’s so blase about it) Julia finally tells him he has to stop: “You can’t run away hard enough, can you? What happened to giving up on the Fillory crap?” And then they have an ‘old-friends-with-years-of-built-up-issues’ fight; Quentin’s side - Julia uses to like Fillory, Julia in fact got him into Fillory, it was their thing, Julia’s side, I liked it (I loved it, she says), and it was silly nerdy bullshit that got us through high school, but -; Quentin: “it never seemed to bother you until right around the second you met James.”

Julia stops, then brings out the big guns too - she knows he was at the mental hospital this weekend, not at his dad’s, and that he feels the same as he did the last time. “Life is starting, for real,” Julia says. “You’re good at so much stuff, pick something. Please. Start living your life,” and like, she’s not completely wrong, but it’s not helpful, and Quentin’s not having it. And she has to leave to go meet James, of course. “I love you. Call me, okay?” and Quentin says nothing as she walks away. (also the first time you hear what I think of as ‘the sad magicians theme’ which rips at my heart every damn time. someone please tell me the real name of this music)

Quentin walks alone down the street with his manuscript, a page blows away from it and he chases it down an alleyway.

Julia goes into a building and gets in an elevator.

Quentin chases his lost paper into a gated wintry garden, and Julia’s elevator is going down to the parking garage instead of up.

Quentin pushes his way through the tall bushes at the back of the garden - and emerges into sunlight, onto a large green field with imposing college campus like buildings all around him.

Julia’s elevator opens into a bright hallway with a sign saying ‘To Exam’. Julia walks down the hallway and we see Quentin outside her building walking in parallel with her: wherever they are, it’s the same place.

Quentin walks across the field to Eliot, who’s stretched out smoking a cigarette on the large stone sign that says “BRAKEBILLS”. Eliot pulls a card out of his pocket, checks the name, and asks, “Quentin Coldwater?” like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. He then gives Quentin a once-over, tells him he’s late, and to follow him. Quentin’s freaking out, Eliot tells him he’s at Brakebills University in upstate New York and has been offered a preliminary exam for entrance to the grad program; and also points out that it doesn't do much good to ask your suspected hallucinations if they're hallucinations.

Quentin and Eliot get to the exam room, and we get a good first look at Penny who’s also at the exam, and Penny’s amazing biceps, thank you for that. Quentin and Julia start to work on the exam, a paper booklet whose questions move and change. Julia tries to ask a question and is refused.

As they go up to the front to pass in the finished exam, Quentin and Julia see each other and hug. Quentin’s relieved that Julia’s here and seeing what he’s seeing, since he just started new meds and was worried none of this was real.

In the next room for the final exam, Julia is alone except the examiner sitting across from her, who says first that they suspected she has nascent magical abilities - Julia smiles and starts to say, “I used to think that -” (a moment for me to cry over baby Julia who thought she had magic and then clearly put that aside with the rest of her childish things) and then the examiner tells her actually she failed the written exam and he’s there to send her home. Julia immediately starts to protest, says the test was crazy, “don’t you want students who make actual inquiry instead of just accepting like sheep?” The examiner gives her a look, and she reins in it, puts on the charm instead, says she can’t go to Yale if she knows this place exists. The examiner says essentially no worries, because she’s not going to remember this place exists. He gets up to sanitize his hands, and Julia takes off one of her rings and scratches it hard up the inside of her right arm, drawing a long line of blood.

In Quentin’s final exam room, there’s a panel of judges with Fogg sitting in the middle. “Quentin,” Fogg says, “let’s see some magic.” He places a pack of cards on the table.

Quentin starts to do card tricks, Fogg asks for real magic. Quentin drops cards on the floor, picks them up as Fogg gets up from his seat and starts to circle him. Fogg asks if Quentin wants to go back to his old life (“that pointless, miasmic march to death”), back to feeling alone and wrong. “No.” “Then quit dicking around.” “Stop it.” “And do some goddamn magic!”

“I said stop it,” Quentin yells, and does some goddamn magic, the cards in his hands flying into the air and then hanging in place, before spinning into shapes that turn into a castle made of cards on the judges’ table. “Holy shit, I’m doing this,” Quentin says. (Notable: the card castle is Whitespire, the castle in Fillory with the spinning towers; and the shadow of the cards flying through the air looks creepily similar to the shadow of the cloud of moths that we’ll see later) Quentin passes out in a dead faint on the floor and the castle collapses.

Quentin’s walking in a dark forest, looking at a clock tree: Fillory. When he goes to touch the clock, the young girl sitting in the tree warns him that time magic is difficult, “you’ll just make it worse.” It’s Jane Chatwin from the Fillory books, and she appears next to Quentin on the ground to tell him that it won’t stop the Beast from coming. “You’re in the school, he’s going to find you. You’re the one he wants.” She tells him to look down - he’s standing on a stone path. If you stay on the garden path, the Beast will kill you, she says, kill everyone. Step off the path, or -

There’s a growling sound, a blast of wind and a glowing blue moth flying directly at Quentin’s face - and he sits up in bed, waking up from his dream.

End of part one.

#the magicians #the magicians recaps #the magicians recaps season one #unauthorized magicians rewatch

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