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craftyjuju · 9 months
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MASSIVE 40% OFF SALE ON ALL.MY SCRUNCHIES OVER AT MY ETSY STORE - once they are gone, they are gone, so don't delay - Go treat yourself ♡ ♡ ♡
https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/CraftyJuJuDesigns?ref=seller-platform-mcnav&section_id=1&page=2#items
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Art by @sugarbugtrash
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I DID NOT JUST GET HIT ON BY SOME GUY AT THE GAS STATION
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aeide-thea · 2 years
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i've vaguely been eyeing merino tees/baselayers for fall/winter cycling purposes and as with all intended-to-be-fitted clothing the question has arisen: what will bug me more, weird bagginess or a too-feminine cut
(spoiler: the answer is almost definitely 'a too-feminine cut' but like. would love a scenario where there was an actual win condition instead of just the lesser of two evils!)
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waitimcomingtoo · 20 days
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Smell Ya Later
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Synopsis: you get a new body cream that allegedly attracts spiders, and someone else
Masterlist
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Whenever you needed a some space from your everyday routines, you packed up your stuff and spent the weekend in your room at the Stark Tower. You had spent the day shopping and picked up a few self care items, including a new body cream you had seen online. Once night had fallen and you felt you had shopped enough, you retreated back to your room and sat at your desk to look at the things you had bought.
“Let’s see how you smell.” You said as you twisted the cap off the body cream. You had barely raised the jar to your nose when Peter appeared the doorway of your room.
“Hey.” He greeted.
“Jeez. You scared me. I didn’t know you were here tonight.” You laughed and put your hand over your pounding heart.
“Yeah, I’m spending the weekend here to give my aunt some time with her boyfriend. But, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was walking by and wanted to come say hi.” He laughed shyly.
“Oh. Well, hi.” You smiled and gave him a little wave.
“Mm. Something smells really good in here.” Peter sniffed the air as he walked into your room. You were pretty sure this was the first tike Peter was actually in your room and that made you gulp.
“Really? I don’t smell anything.”
“Maybe it’s just the air. Girls rooms always smell good.” He shrugged.
“Are you in a lot of girls rooms?” You asked teasingly but were dying to know the answer.
“No.” He chuckled. “But I remember from going over to girls houses for group projects and stuff in middle school. Plus, Natasha’s and Wanda’s room always smells good when I walk by. Not that I go around sniffing everyone’s rooms.”
“I’m starting to think you might.” You mumbled out of the corner of your mouth.
“I don’t, I swear. Did you just go shopping?” He laughed and leaned against your desk. You sucked in a sharp breath over the close proximity and nodded your head.
“I did. But I didn’t get anything exciting.”
“What do you mean? This looks very exciting. What is this?” Peter asked as he held up a fluffy headband with a large bow at the front.
“A headband to keep my hair out of my face when I wash it.”
“Oh. I thought it was a giant scrunchie. Or a really small tube top.” Peter pursed his lips as he turned the headband over in his hands to try and understand it.
“No. Neither.” You laughed shyly as you watched him touch your things.
“What’s this thing?” He asked and held up your heartless curls rod.
“It’s for heartless curls.” You replied, making Peter look at you in confusion.
“You know. Curling your hair. With no heat.”
“This tiny pool noodle curls your hair?” Peter asked in disbelief and held up the limp rod.
“Yes. You wrap it around this and sleep in it. Then you wake up with curly hair.” You explained and wrapped a strand of your hair around it to demonstrate.
“Okay. I’m getting closer to understanding. What role does this thing play in all of that that?” Peter asked as he picked up a claw clip from your desk and opened it a few times.
“You use this to clip the rod onto your head while you wrap your hair.” You informed him.
“Wow. Sometimes I feel like girls live in an entirely different secret world than boys. Like, I just put water in my hair and say I’m ready. But you guys have all these fun fancy contraptions.” He smiled as he played with a scrunchie on your desk.
“Yeah. I guess it is kinda fun.” You shrugged as you looked at all the silly contraptions laid out in your desk.
“Woah. What’s this thing?” Peter gasped and picked up your jade roller that was still in the package.
“It’s called a jade roller.”
“You’re gonna have to explain.” He said and looked to you for help.
“I haven’t tried it yet but basically you put it in the refrigerator and then roll it on your face to decrease puffiness in the morning.” You explained as you took it out of the box.
“And it works?”
“I don’t know. But it feels good.” You shrugged and rolled it up and down your cheek.
“I can’t imagine that medieval looking thing feeling good.” Peter mumbled.
“It does. Come here.” You beckoned him with your finger and he leaned down closer to your face. You smiled timidly at him as you rolled it up and down his face.
“See? It feels nice, right?” You asked in a soft voice.
“I’ve never experienced this feeling before.” Peter said and closed his eyes peacefully.
“You should get one.” You chuckled and rolled it on his forehead.
“I don’t know. Mr. Stark already made fun of me for my Lana Del Ray poster. If he sees this in my room he might think I’m a little weirdo.”
“Who cares what he thinks? He has a “nail girl” for his weekly manicures and pedicures. And I think it’s attractive when a guy cares about his hygiene. Which says a lot about my standards now that I say that out loud.” You realized and thought about that for a minute.
“Maybe I will get one then. Because I care about my hygiene. A lot. More than the other guys you know, I bet.” Peter bragged, making you laugh.
“I would not have a hard time believing that.” You answered honestly.
“Why do you need all this stuff anyway? You’re so pretty.” Peter asked as he gestured to all the things on your desk. Guy cracked a smile at his casual compliment but didn’t make a big deal out of it.
“It guess it’s like you said. It’s fun. I like using these things when I’m having quiet time by myself.”
“I like that. That’s something new I just learned about you. I also didn’t know your last name until right now.” Peter tapped a school paper on your desk that said your full name. You laughed as he stood up and headed towards your door. The moment was ending but it was the first time you really talked to Peter one on one in that way so you still took it as a win.
“Seriously. Something smells really good in here.” He said from your doorway.
“I think I smell it too now. Maybe somethings in the air.” You smiled shyly.
“Must be.” He smirked. “Goodnight, L/n.”
“Goodnight, Parker.” You called after him. Once he was gone, you stayed looking at the doorway with a starstruck smile on your face. You didn’t know what prompted Peter to talk to you all of the sudden but you were thankful to whatever it was.
The next day, you went downstairs for breakfast and found Natasha and Wanda in the kitchen. You stopped to talk to them for a minute as you finished rubbing your body cream onto your elbows.
“Ooo. You smell good. What is that?” Natasha asked you.
“It’s a body cream from that brand Sol De Janeiro. I’ve never used it before but it had good reviews.” You told her as you smelled your wrist to catch the scent again.
“Wow. It’s really nice.” She sniffed you again. “You smell like how Moana feels to watch.”
“Thank you.” You smiled. “But when did you watch Moana?”
“I was thinking more along the lines of luxury sunblock or every flower scented candle at Yankee Candle at once.” Wanda added.
“That description also works, thank you.” You nodded in agreement.
“That reminds me.” Natasha began. “I need to get a new perfume. I’ve become totally nose blind to mine and I can never tell-“
“Hey guys. Mmm. Something smells good. What is that?” Peter burst into the room suddenly full of energy while loudly sniffing the air. You smiled and waved at him and he immediately went over to you.
“It’s this one.” Wanda said and pointed to you. Peter put his hand on your back and stepped closer to you to taken whiff.
“Oh, yeah. It is you. You smell amazing.” He told you.
“Oh, thank you.” You laughed shyly. “It’s just my body cream.”
“God damn. It smells so good.” Peter gushed. “I’ve never smelled anything like that. What’s it called?”
“Um, I’m not sure. I could find out and tell you, though.” You offered.
“Yeah, sure. I probably wouldn’t use it because it smells like a woman angel that turned into a vanilla bean but I wouldn’t keep a jar around just to sniff. It smells amazing.” He insisted and moved close to you to inhale again.
“So you’ve said.” Natasha snorted and gave you a look. You gave her a confused look as Peter put his hands on your hips and nose right on your shoulder to smell you.
“Sorry. I just really love that scent. It makes me feel like that scene in Ratatouille.” Peter said.
“What scene?” You looked over your shoulder to ask him and tried not to scream over how he was holding you.
“When that guy eats the ratatouille.” He said simply. “Holy shit, L/n. You smell like a flower that was dipped in crystallized sugar and then rolled in fairy dust. I could smell you all day.”
Just then, Tony walked by and saw how close Peter was to you. He frowned when he heard Peter sniffing loudly and rolled up the magazine in his hand.
“Down boy. Bad. Off of her.” Tony said as he smacked Peter with the magazine.
“But she smells so good.” Peter whined.
“No. Bad. Bad boy.” Tony shook his head and continued hitting Peter with the magazine.
“Fine.” Peter grumbled. “Bye.”
“Bye.” You waved to him as he left the room. Once you were alone with the girls again, they looked at you with raised eyebrows.
“What?” You wondered.
“How long has that been going on?” Wanda asked you.
“How long has what been going on?”
“You and Peter.” Natasha replied.
“What? There’s nothing going on between me and Peter.” You forced a laugh and looked to the side.
“Well he clearly wants there to be something. I have not seen a boy that down bad since high school. Wait, how old are you guys again? 14?” Wanda asked.
“22.” You corrected. “And Peter is not down bad for me. I’m pretty sure he likes this girl from his school.”
“What’s her name?” Natasha asked.
“Liz.” You answered immediately. “I mean, I don’t know. Who cares?”
“Oh, so the crush is mutual?” Wanda nodded in understating.
“No. Nothing is mutual.” You scoffed. “This isn’t liberty.”
“Oh, you have it so bad.” Natasha laughed at how flustered you were getting.
“Nuh uh. Maybe you like Peter and you’re trying to deflect. Ever think about that?” You asked her.
“Right. I like a middle schooler who cries to Lana Del Ray on weeknights.” She answered sarcastically.
“She has very moving music.” You defended him.
“I think it’s cute that you guys like each other.” Wanda said. “And it makes total sense for you to be together. You’re the same age and have a similar lifestyle. Why not tell him how you feel?”
“Because I don’t like him.” You insisted. “And he doesn’t like me.”
“If he doesn’t like you then why was he just using you like a scratch and sniff?” Natasha raised an eyebrow.
“Maybe he just likes to sniff things.” You shrugged. “Maybe that’s his thing.”
“Or maybe you’re his thing.” Natasha replied.
“Do you really think he likes me?” You asked them hopefully.
“I always kinda thought he did.” Wanda admitted. “And After that disturbing encounter, there’s no doubt in my mind. He’s definitely into you.”
“Hm.” You hummed and thought about it. You’d always had a secret crush on him and he had no idea so maybe it was possible that he felt the same way about you without you ever realizing.
You spent the day thinking about what the girls had said. Your thinking was interrupted when Peter returned to your room that night and took a whiff of the air.
“Mm. Smells good in here.” He noted.
“I have a candle on. I mean, lit.” You corrected yourself and pointed to your candle.
“Don’t knock it over and burn your room down. That happened to Brittany Spears, you know.”
“Oh, I know.” You insisted. “I watch all the videos of her spinning in her living room.”
“Same.” He laughed. “What are you doing right now?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“I was gonna go grab food. Would you want to-“
“Yes.” You said immediately. You felt embarrassed for answering so fast but Peter didn’t seem to mind.
“Cool. Let’s go.” He said and nodded towards the door.
Thirty minutes later, you were sitting on a bench outside of Delmar’s with sandwiches and bottles of ice tea. Peter picked the place and you followed his lead when ordering because he seemed like a regular.
“And why is it flat?” You asked him as he held up his squished sandwich.
“Because it tastes better the flatter it is, duh. Try it.” He insisted and gestured to your squished sandwich. You gave him a skeptical look before giving it a bite.
“Okay. You might be on to something.” You admitted once you had swallowed.
“Thank you. Every few years my brain lets me have one good idea.” Peter said as he happily chewed his sandwich.
“What was the good idea before this one?”
“Chips in my sandwich.”
“I see. And are these ideas always sandwich related?” You chuckled.
“Wait.” He gasped. “Yeah. They are.”
“Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe you’re a natural born sandwich maker.” You shrugged.
“Maybe I’m Jersey Mike.” He gasped even louder, making you laugh. People were looking but you were too excited to be there with him to care.
“I was gonna say you’re Jared from Subway but I think he’s a pedophile or something.” You told him.
“What? No way.” Peter scoffed and pulled out his phone to google it.
“Oh damn. You’re right.” He realized. “Wow. Even Jared from Subway is a bad guy? Is no one safe?”.
“I mean, you could really say any male celebrities name and there’s like a 50% chance he has charges against him.” You shrugged.
“That’s so true. My record is clean, by the way.” Peter told you. “Until my identity gets revealed. Then I’m looking at a lifetime of property damages and breaking and entering charges.”
“Oh, for me too. I have trespassed more times than I’ve actually been invited somewhere.” You answered. Peter laughed and then looked at you fondly for a minute. You grew self conscious under his gaze and nervously cleared your throat.
“I’m sorry. I keep getting distracted by your perfume.” He admitted. “I can’t get over how good it smells. You smell like the freaking sugarplum fairy.”
“Thank you. You smell good too.” You complicated and nudged him a little.
“That’s because I stole some of Mr. Starks super expensive cologne before we left. He called me to his room once just to show me the price tag on it. I thought it was his social security number at first. And the bottle is so small. I thought it was stupid to spend so much on such a tiny bottle but now that I’m wearing it I feel like I really want to fire someone.”
“I can’t say I’ve ever felt that feeling.”
“Me either. Until today. I smell like a whole different tax bracket right now and I don’t know if I can go back to my Axe Dark Temptation spray. I don’t want to smell like the bourgeois anymore.”
“Thats so funny.” You chuckled. “Do you always take his cologne?”
“Never. Just for today because I knew I was gonna ask you to hang out.” He said before taking a bite. You paused and sat with the implication that he did something just to impress you.
“I’m flattered to know you stole for me.” You said with a coy smile.
“Well you always smell amazing so I didn’t want you to think you were hanging out with some stinky rat.” Peter explained.
“I would never say that about you. I must say, you’re the best smelling rat I’ve been around.”
“Since we live in New York, I’m taking that as a compliment and letting it inflate my ego.” Peter warned you.
“Your ego must be pretty big already though, right? If I was a guy your age who looked like you did and could do the things you can do, I’d be super annoying about it. Like, raise my hand in class using two fingers and ask a question that’s just a roundabout way to show off how intelligent I am kind of annoying.”
“Looks like me? Can you elaborate on that, please, miss?” He asked with a cheeky smile.
“You know.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “Giant muscles. Giant brown eyes. I don’t know much about spiders but giant something else, I’m guessing. That spider bite served you well.”
“Stop. I’m shy.” Peter laughed and covered his face with his hands
“Come on.” You groaned. “You have to know you’re cute.”
“My aunt says I’m a handsome little lad.” He said and batted his eyelashes to make you laugh.
“She’s right.” You laughed. “But seriously. If my arms looked like that I’d only wear tight white shirts and ridiculously skinny jeans. And obviously slick my hair back like a Greaser. A full Soda Pop Curtis, if you will.”
“Oh, so you’re an Outsiders fan? This is me trying to maintain a regular conversation while hoping my heart rate returns to normal after being bombarded with compliments, by the way.” Peter said with a rosy blush on his face.
“I love The Outsiders. I’m still chasing the high I felt when my teacher played the movie for us in 5th grade and Soda Pop came out of the shower in the beginning. I think all the girls in that room remember that moment. I haven’t felt that way since.”
“Really? Never?”
“Maybe once or twice.” You smiled fondly at him.
“Well, to answer your question, I am actually a total loser at school and have an ego the size of a walnut. No one knows I can do the things I can do so I’m just another goofy goober on campus.”
“How can you saw you’re a goober when you’ve probably saved the life of every person in your school? More than once I might add.”
“Because I didn’t do that stuff. Spiderman did.” He explained. “When I’m on campus, I’m just me. It’s the only way to protect my identity. I have to let all the credit go to someone else.”
“Okay, I get not taking credit to remain humble and anonymous and what not, but what about all the other cool stuff you can do? I’ve seen you move a refrigerator with ease and casually run a mile without breaking a sweat. How do you resist the urge to show off all the time?”
“Because I wasn’t some sports star before I was bitten so it would be highly suspicious if I showed up one day and started dunking on everyone and breaking their ankles and third sports term. I only want to use my abilities to help people. Not to get popular.” He shrugged. As he spoke, you felt your crush on him turned into full blown infactuation. You’d always liked him from afar but now that you were getting to know him, he was even better than you thought.
“You’re better than me. I’d be doing backflips down the hallway and climbing on the walls. And if I got in trouble, I’d just be like “remember when New York wasn’t taken over by aliens? You’re welcome, bitch.” And then I’d swing away and probably kiss a cheerleader. Maybe even two.” You told him.
“Uh uh. My powers have definitely not gotten me any kisses from cheerleaders.” He laughed and shook his head.
“So you don’t have a girlfriend or anything?” You asked and couldn’t help but smile.
“No. My roster is empty. And I wish I could blame that on the Spiderman stuff but I can’t. I’ve never been lucky in that department.”
“I don’t understand that. You’re so…” You trailed off when you realized you were about to say too much. Peter looked at you with a coy smile and raised his eyebrows.
“So?” He asked.
“So annoying.” You insisted. “And ugly, actually.”
Luckily, he understood that you were saying the opposite of what you meant and smiled in appreciation.
“What about you? You must have a boyfriend and 10 guys lined up ready to take his place the second he falters, right?”
“11 guys.” You corrected.
“Damn. I’m sorry. I should’ve known.” He said and held up his hands in defense.
“It’s okay. How could you have known? But, um, no. No boyfriend.” You told him and watched carefully for a reaction.
“So you don’t like anyone at your school?”
“Not at school, no.”
“Oh. So there is someone.” He smirked.
“There may or may not be a boy. But he likes someone else so it doesn’t even matter.” You waved your hand in dismissal.
“Does he know you like him?” Peter asked. Your knees and elbows were touching as you sat together on that bench. You couldn’t help but notice he had gotten closer and closer as you talked.
“No.” You replied as you stared into Peter’s eyes.
“That’s obviously why he likes someone else.” Peter insisted. “I guarantee that if he knew he had a chance with you, he’d forget all about that other girl.”
“I don’t know. Do you really think that?” You asked skeptically.
“Definitely. He’d be crazy not to go for someone so…” He trailed off to give you a taste of your own medicine.
“So?” You shook his arm to urge him to continue.
“Ugly.” He replied. “Really, really ugly. Not pretty at all. Definitely not funny or charming. And a stinky rat. And ugly, if I didn’t mention that before. Ghoul like, even.”
“Thank you.” You smiled warmly, knowing he meant the opposite of what he was saying.
“You’re very welcome.” He smiled back. “So when are we doing this again?”
You did it again the next night, this time at a food truck you liked, and then a few days after that. That’s when Peter started giving you his weekends. You started hanging out more and more and grew to be close friends in just a short time. You lived at home during the week and could look forward to Peter’s almost nightly visits while he was on parol just to sit in your window and talk to you. He was so so consistent that you started leaving your bedroom door open just for him.
“I’m here. Don’t be naked.” Peter said as he climbed through your window one evening.
“I just got out of the shower. What if I was naked? Then what?” You asked as you rubbed your body cream into your skin.
“Then we’d have a funny story to tell at parties.” He said as he pulled his mask off. You couldn’t help but smile at the way his messy curls stood up on his head.
“Oh yeah? And what’s so funny about me being naked?” You teased him as you squeezed the excess water out of your hair with a towel.
“That’s not the funny part. The funny part would have been when my eyes sprang out from my head on slinkies and made an audible “boing-oing-oing” sound. Right before my head exploded and left a smoking stump on my neck.” Peter told you, making you playfully roll your eyes.
“Oh wow. Very Tom and Jerry of you.” You chuckled.
“A full Tom and Jerry. The only thing missing would be the little blue birds and or angles flying around my head but I didn’t say that one because it’s typically reserved for traumatic head injuries.”
“You’re stupid.” You laughed and shook your head endearingly at him. Peter smiled back at you
“You’re stupid.” He chuckled. “You smell good.”
You really liked being friends with Peter. The more time you spent with Peter, the more you found you could talk to him about anything. He seemed so interested in every little thing you said. You worried your crush suddenly taking an extreme interest in you might be too good to be true, so you were determined to enjoy it while it lasted. And do far, it had lasted two months.
“Hey you two. Are you gonna be hungry…” Tony trailed off when he assessed the situation in front of him. You and Peter turned your heads when you heard Peter’s bedroom door open, giving Tony a full view of the green face masks you had covering your faces. You were sitting on Peter’s bed and applying masks to each others faces so your hands were full of the green goop as well. Tony looked back and forth between the two of you for a minute but eyes kept returning to the giant pink bow headband Peter had on to hold his hair back.
“Oh.” Tony nodded. “Hm. Okay.”
“Hi Mr. Stark.” Peter waved.
“I was gonna ask if you guys were hungry. But now I don’t know how to feel.” Tony said with a blank expression.
“We’re okay. We door dashed some food. Thank you, though.” You replied.
“No problem. Try not to have too much fun, ladies.” Tony snickered and closed the door.
“He doesn’t get us.” Peter rolled his eyes and smeared some of the face mask across your forehead. You smiled at the mention of “us” and stared into his eyes.
“He wishes he was gonna have clarified skin and minimized pores in 45 minutes.” You agreed.
“45 minutes? Oh shit. We should’ve brought snacks.”
“I can go grab some. I need to pee anyway.” You told him and hoped off his bed. You hit up the kitchen after the bathroom and raised the refrigerator for some snacks. When you shut the refrigerator door, Natasha was standing there watching you.
“So. Having another stay at home date with Peter?” She asked and pointed to your face mask.
“It’s not a date.” You rolled your eyes. “We’re just two friends hanging out.”
“Right. And do you share clothes with all of your friends or just the ones you don’t have feelings for?” She asked sarcastically.
“He wasn’t wearing my pants that day, okay?” You sighed. “He just asked me to embroider little molecules into his jeans and then wanted me to sign my name. Which is very normal for two friends to do.”
“So that’s not his sweatshirt you have on now?” Natasha asked and pointed to the Museum of Natural History hoodie you had on.
“It is. But-“
“But. Mm hm, yeah?” She cut you off with sarcastic interest in her voice.
“Yes, but.” You stated. “It’s too small on him now that the bite made him all big and muscly. But his uncle bought it for him and it was too sentimental to throw away so he let me have it.”
“Oh. So he gave you an article of clothing that his dead uncle gave to him? That’s very platonic of him.” Natasha said before cracking a smile.
“I don’t know what you’re implying.” You played dumb.
“I’m implying that you two are dating but pretending you’re not.”
“What?” You forced a laugh. “We are not dating.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re not fooling anyone with that. Why don’t you just call a spade a spade and make out already?”
“Because it’s not a spade. Your mom’s a spade. We’re just friends.” You insisted and felt glad your face mask was covering up your embarrassed blush.
You went back to Peter’s room with the snacks and pushed Natasha’s comments from your mind. Peter could tell that something was bothering but he didn’t push it.
You spent the next few nights at home but headed back to the tower to spend the weekend. You knew Peter would be arriving later that night so you got ready in your room while you waited. You scrolled on your phone while you did your makeup and came across an article on the body cream you’d been wearing lately. You started to read it but got distracted by the sound of people in the downstairs. You left your room and took the elevator down to see if it was Peter, but found Wanda and Natasha instead.
“Oh, hey. I was just telling Nat I got that cream you told us about. It just smelled so good on you.” Wanda told you.
“Did you? Tell me what you think of it. It works really well but I think I have to stop wearing it. I was just reading online that apparently it attracts….” You trailed off and pulled out your phone to show Wanda the article. You got distracted by a text from Peter telling you that he had arrived. You furrowed your eyebrows and stared at the text as things started to make sense in your head.
“Attracts what?” Wanda asked you. You looked up to answer her but got distracted by Peter walking in.
“Spiders.” You told her as you stared at Peter.
“Hey, Y/n.” Peter greeted with a smile. “Come with me up to the roof. I have something to show you.”
Peter took your hand and started pulling you towards the elevators. You were still lost in thought but regained composure enough to look at the girls while you were being pulled away.
When you got to the roof, the sun was just beginning to sink into the city skyline, making for a peaceful atmosphere. There were some snacks set out and a sheet you recognized from Peter’s room.
“What’s this?” You turned to him to ask. He was already staring at you and watching carefully for a reaction.
“You said you’d been so busy with homework lately that you don’t even realize when it becomes night so I thought we could take a mental break together and watch the sunset.” Peter explained with a sheepish smile. You lit up when you heard his plan and forgot all about the article.
“You planned this for me?”
“I didn’t want you to work yourself to death. You’re gonna do fine on your finals. You’re the smartest person I know. Other than, like, the two super genius’s I know. But you’re definitely up there.” He assured you. You broke into a smile and threw your arms around him to thank him. He stumbled back a little a before wrapping his arms around you and hugging you back.
“Thanks, Peter. This is really sweet.” You said and pulled away just enough to look at him. You stayed with your arms wrapped around each other as the sun began to set around you.
“You’re very welcome.” He said with a fond smile. You stared into his eyes and felt his magnetic force pulling you towards him. Peter’s eyes dropped down to your lips before a rosy blush covered his face. You couldn’t believe what was about to happen was actually happening. He started to lean in and cracked a smile just before your lips could touch.
“God, you smell amazing.” He whispered to you. You snapped out of your trance and took a step back from him.
“Oh my God.” You gasped. “I knew it.”
“Wait, what? Knew what?” Peter forced a laugh and tried not to look as disappointed as he felt that the moment had ended.
“You don’t even like me. You’re just attracted to my delicious smelling body cream!” You shouted and pointed an accusatory finger at him.
“Woah, what? I have been accused of so many things but that is truly a first.” Peter said and held up his hands in defense.
“I bet this whole thing was a set up just so that you could sniff me!” You gasped and pointed his picnic.
“What are you even talking about?” He matched your tone and pulled his hair in exasperation. You put your hand over your heart to catch your breath as you looked between him and his setup. Everything made sense now. Peter started talking to you the moment you opened up that jar of body cream. He only wanted to hang out with you once you started wearing it. And as you stood there on the roof with him and realized it never had anything to do with you, you felt gutted.
“I thought…I thought you liked me.” You said in a quiet voice as your face sank with disappointment. Peter turned red all the way to his ears and laughed in embarrassment.
“I do like you.” He said quietly.
“But not for me.” You shook your head. “For the way I smell.”
“What? That’s crazy?” He laughed is dismissal. You rolled up your sleeves and walked back over to him to hold your arm under his nose.
“You like this.” You told him.
“Damn, that smells good.” Peter whispered as he took in your scent.
“See? It’s my body cream. It attracts spider. Whatever is lingering in your DNA from the bite makes you attracted to this specific scent.” You grumbled as you pushed your sleeves back down.
“Huh. That explains why I got a boner in Sephora the other day.” He realized.
“Why were you in Sephora?”
“I was getting us more face masks. I even used your email so you could get the points.”
“You did?” You asked and cracked a smile. Peter looked at you sympathetically and took a step towards you.
“I had a whole night planned for us. I was gonna bring you up here to watch the sunset. And I brought snacks you like. Even disgusting Salt and Vinegar chips.”
“I love those.”
“I know you do, for some odd reason. And once the sun had set, I was gonna go downstairs with you to do the face makes. I got you a panda because you like them and mine looks like Hello Kitty, see?” Peter said and he pulled the masks out of his bag.
“Very impressive selection.”
“I know. Once we had them on, I was gonna tell you that you’re the only person I don’t feel like I need to wear a mask with. Or you’re the only person who makes me feel the way I do when I’m wearing my mask. In parenthesis, my Spiderman mask. Which implies you make me feel invincible. I don’t know. It was gonan be some mask related metaphor that I was hoping would come to me in the moment.”
“Why did you need a mask related metaphor?”
“So I could ease the tension and segway into telling you that I like you.” He admitted with a timid smile.
“You do?” You asked skeptically. Peter nodded his head and put his hands on your shoulders.
“I wouldn’t do all this for you just because I liked the way you smell. And believe me, I love the way you smell. If I could shrink you down using the Honey I Shrunk the Kids machine and shove you up my nose, I would. But I like a million other things about you too that don’t involve the olfactory bulb.”
“Then how come we only started hanging out once I started using the body cream?”
“Okay, I’ll admit, I got a whiff of the body cream and basically floating in the air down the hallway into your room like a cartoon pig being lead to a pie.” Peter prefaced. “But that was just the first time you wore it. It gave me the confidence to ask you to hang out which is something I’d been wanting to do since we met. And once we started hanging out and I learned all these new things about you, I liked you even more. Which I didn’t know was possible because I was already listening to Lana Del Ray and pretending you wrote the songs about me. When you started smelling divine, that was just the icing on an already big cake. I’m talking Cake Boss level size cake that’s mostly made of Rice Krispies and plastic tubes.”
“So now I’m divine? I thought I was ugly and not funny or charming at all.” You teased him as you stepped even closer.
“You’re right. I still find you very unattractive and don’t want to be your boyfriend and l definitely don’t want to kiss you-“
You cut him off by pulling him by the shirt into a kiss. He stopped talking immediately to kiss you back, putting his hands on your face to pull you closer.
“You smell so fucking good.” He growled and pulling you closer by the waist. You giggled against his lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
You and Peter eventually retired to the sheet to watch the rest of the sun set. You laid on his chest and listened to his heart beating while the scent of his cologne filled your nose. You went back downstairs hand in hand once the sky was dark and passed by Wanda in the living room.
“Goodnight, Wanda.” You smiled at her as you and Peter walked by.
“Goodnight.” She replied and waved her fingers. Peter stopped suddenly in his tracks and looked at Wanda.
“Woah.” He smiled. “You smell really good, Wanda. What do you have-“
“Oh, no you don’t.” You cut him off and pulled him by the back of his shirt away from her.
“It’s the cream.” Peter said in defeat. “I’m defenseless to the cream.”
Tag List 🏷️
@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling
@tom-hollands-wifey
@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings
@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101
@peterparkoure
@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr
@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland
@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​
@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant
@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger
@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie
@maybemona
@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom
@pandaxnienke
 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours
@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85
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@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940
@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing
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@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr
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@ciarahollands
@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy
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prosciuttulipa · 2 months
Text
Period Pain, Go Away
how the JJK men help you through your period
content: afab reader x jjk men, just fluff this time! brief dirty joke in Toji's one (because he's Toji), but every one of them is a good boi in their own way <33
a/n: on my period and am in much pain v_v i can't decide who i want to comfort me, so i'm writing for all of the men i want
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Gojo Satoru who isn't just your boyfriend during your period, but a "girl's girl". He wants to spoil you with desserts and eat the leftovers that you can't finish, do face masks with those cute cucumber slices over the eyes. You want a bath? He's already drawing one, dunking in bath bombs till the water looks like a small galaxy, putting on your comfort show so you can watch it while you soak.
Dealing with pain through fun and smiles has always been his way of coping. So, yes—maybe he does look a bit silly, gossiping with you while you paint sparkles onto his nails, his hair tied up with a pink scrunchie. But what's a boyfriend for, if not to be your Ken doll during your time of need?
It hurts him more than he likes to admit, to see you wince at a bad cramp, or come out of the bathroom with the colour drained from your cheeks. When you can't manage anything more than lying in your bed, he'll rest his head against your stomach, peppering kisses wherever it hurts. "Be good to my girl," he'll jokingly threaten your uterus, poking your tummy gently, "she deserves the world."
Geto Suguru who knows your period is coming before you do. Your irritable mood and food cravings clue him in, and he takes action without saying a single word.
The day your period starts, you realise that the feminine products you usually use have been fully restocked without your notice. The fridge is filled with your period cravings, enough to last a week. Before you can even say anything, a large hand wraps around your waist and presses a hot water bottle against your abdomen. "Good morning, princess," he greets you like he hasn't just pulled off what can only be described as a small miracle, "is everything to your liking?"
You don't know whether to laugh or cry at how perfectly he's predicted you. He's a step ahead of you throughout your entire period, knowing which snack or act of affection you want just by your expression. Some might call his behaviour unreasonable; frankly, he thinks it's bullshit. "Attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer," is what he quotes, when you ask him why he's so observant. "What makes you think I do not absolutely and utterly worship you?"
Nanami Kento who is obviously written by a woman, and so does not flinch when he sees the blood on the bedsheets when he wakes up earlier than you. Instead, he kisses you good morning till you're giggling, distracting you so you don't get a chance to see the stains. He changes the sheets while you're in the bathroom, throwing them in with the rest of the laundry. When you come back out, worrying you dirtied the bed, he merely shrugs. "I didn't see anything, darling."
He treats you like a queen on the daily, but during your period, you're his empress. Each word is law, each action his cue to immediately come to your aid. He'll cook every meal, and won't let you hold the spoon to feed yourself if he can help it. As far as he can see, your only responsibility this week is to lounge around, and let him spoil you rotten.
He thinks it's a crime that you still have to go to work, when you have to pop painkillers with your breakfast just to make it through the day. "I can take care of you, you know," he'll inevitably murmur, kissing the shell of your ear, "I make enough money to support us both. Take the day off, dearest. They don't need you more than I do."
Toji Fushiguro who manages to piss you off on the first day of your period. "What size pussy you wear?" he calls to ask, when he's picking up your feminine products at the corner store, "gotta make sure I take care of that kitty for all the squeezin' she does on me."
When he gets back home and finishes getting an earful on how you're more than just his pocket pussy, he apologises by scooping you up in his arms. "You know you're more than just a good fuck, doll," his words carry a rare sort of honesty, coming from him. "You're a good woman. My woman. Gun's in the second drawer, sweetheart—shoot me if I ever do wrong by you."
His touches turn softer, the smack to your ass replaced with a squeeze on the hip, kisses on your shoulders. He's got a hand on you at all times, just rubbing idle circles against your stomach or lower back to soothe your cramps. When bedtime comes, he makes you lay on your tummy, massaging away the tension in your muscles until you're all nice and pliant. He may not always know what to say, but he'll be damned if his actions make you feel like he doesn't love you.
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bussyslayer333 · 1 year
Text
it’s all about you
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summary: 4 times Jake thought about marrying you and the 1 time he did.
pairing: jake seresin x girlfriend!reader
word count: 5.9k
warnings: allusions to smut throughout, mentions of alcohol, swearing, jake being whipped!! MDNI 18+
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1.
“Cookies or Brownies?” you hum, rifling through your kitchen cupboards.
“Cookies, we’re not monsters babe.” Jake replies seriously from where he’s stood behind you, checking out your ass.
You snap back up with a cheer and the brown sugar you were looking for in tow. Jake quickly diverts his gaze in favour of not getting caught and decides that your fridge magnets are suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.
His intense inspection of the little windmill stuck to your fridge has you snorting, quickly turned into a squeal when Jake pats your behind with a little more force than intended.
“Jake!”
“What?” He spins around as if to look for someone else who could have committed the offending action.
“You’re stupid.” You giggle, jutting your hip out to hit his own.
Jake reciprocates the action before finally picking up a wooden spoon and smacking it against his palm loudly.
“Where do you need me chef?”
“Fold the butter into the brown sugar,” you instruct, “softly.”
Jake rolls his eyes purposefully obnoxiously and sighs loudly, “I know.”
“Don’t make me remind you of cupcake gate.”
Jake’s attitude drops, “we agreed not to bring that up.”
“I play petty Seresin, now fold. Gently.” You sass.
Jake chuckles at your demeanour and gets to work, following your orders to complete the cookie dough.
Once complete and set to chill in the freezer, Jake goes to leave the kitchen but instead watches on in amusement as you pace around anxiously. After your third rearrangement of the trinkets on the window sill he interrupts.
“Babe, what are you doing?”
You sigh dramatically and throw yourself into his arms.
“I’m nervous.”
Jake snorts, “why?”
You pull back from where you face was smushed into his chest and pout, “don’t be mean. I’m scared they won’t like my cookies. Or me, for that matter.”
Jake’s thumb strokes absentmindedly over your cheek in an act of comfort.
“All kids like cookies. Fact.” He states, “and they’re gonna love you because they love me and I love you.”
“I don’t want to be their uncle Jake’s lame girlfriend who makes bad cookies.” You bite at your pushed out lip.
“You won’t be, now let’s bake these suckers.”
Jake pats your ass playfully as you bend down to retrieve the cookie dough.
“Put the oven on.” You order.
Jake mock salutes, “yes, chef.”
You run through about ten outfits before finally settling on what to wear, and as you brush through your hair once more, the doorbell goes.
You can hear Jake and his sister talking downstairs as well as the excited giggles of his nieces. When you finally descend the stairs Jake’s sister is smiling up at you.
“It’s great to see you again!” She gives you a one armed hug, the other holding the girls backpacks.
“You too!” You look down to where the girls are holding on to each of Jake’s hands, “and it’s great to meet you girls!”
The younger of the two immediately leaps forward and grabs onto your hand, “I’m Ellie, you’re pretty,” she singsongs.
You bend down and wipe at a smudge on her face, “Not as pretty as you!”
Ellie giggles determinedly and turns back to her mom to smile.
“Ellie, Olive, be good okay?” Jake’s sister nods her head to the two girls before looking back up to the two of you, “and thank you for looking after them on such short notice.”
Jake rolls his eyes, “you know it’s fine, now go have fun.”
“Thank you!” She smiles before kissing the girls on the heads and making her exit.
You look back down to the girls, Ellie is still clinging onto your hand with a smitten look on her face. Her golden curls are kept in two pigtails with small scrunchies. She’s adorable and can’t be older than 5.
When you avert your gaze to Olive, she seems to blush slightly. She is partially hidden by Jake’s large frame but you can still make out her blue eyes and long, mousy brown hair. She looks much older than Ellie, probably about 9 or 10. Much more reserved as well.
“It’s nice to meet you Olive!” You beam.
She nods in your direction, “hi.” It’s almost a whisper but you smile in acknowledgement anyways.
“Jakey I’m hungryyyyy,” Ellie drags out the “e” sound of her Y.
“Well that won’t do will it, Ellie bellie?” Jake teases, dropping Olive’s hand in favour of scooping Ellie up into his arms.
Olive chuckles awkwardly at the commotion and fiddles with the straps of her bag as Jake carries Ellie towards the kitchen where the cookies are almost finished. You can sense a small amount of anxiety radiating off of her, you were similar at that age. Never quite feeling in place. It suddenly becomes your duty to make sure she understands it’s okay.
“I love your hair, it’s so long!” You smile comfortingly at her, reaching out to fiddle with the ends.
She leans more into your touch and speaks quietly, “thank you, I- sometimes I think it’s kind of boring.” She shrugs.
“It’s really beautiful! I wish I could grow my hair that long,” you hum, inspecting the completely undamaged strands of hair.
Olive smiles up at you, “I just wish I could do more hairstyles with it.”
“I could braid it for you? If you would like that of course?”
“I would really like that,” Olive nods.
She lets you lead her upstairs where you sit her in front of your vanity with all your hair and makeup products. You watch fondly as she “oohs” and “ahhs” at the products on display.
“Tell me if I hurt you at all okay?” You question as you brush out her mostly untangled hair.
Olive nods in understanding, “can you do two french braids?”
“Of course!”
You sit in silence for a few moments as you brush and part her hair. You can feel her gaze on you from the mirror.
“You okay?” You hum.
“You’re really pretty, y’know? Way more than Uncle Jake.”
Her words make you giggle, “Your Uncle Jake is very handsome, why else would I be with him?” you tease.
She snorts, “I figured it wasn’t because he was clever.”
You try not to laugh too loud at her quip and bite your lip, “he has his moments.”
Olive rolls her eyes and mumbles “sure” and once calmed from your laughter you’re able to start on the first of the braids and talk to her more.
“How’s school?” You question absentmindedly.
“It’s okay,” she answers. Olive opens her mouth again as if to say something else, before closing it again.
“You can tell me,” you affirm.
“Promise you won’t tell Uncle Jake?” She asks.
“Pinky.”
She quickly intertwines her little finger with yours before beginning.
“There’s this boy,” she blushes as she sees a grin spread across your face, “he sits next to me when we do science, and he’s really cute.”
“What’s his name?” You ask, trying to keep your face neutral.
“Trey. But I don’t even think he knows my name.” She sighs.
“I’m sure he does, Olive, especially if he sits next to you.” You reassure her.
“I mean he only really talks to me to ask for help, but one time he told me he really liked my shoes.” She gushes.
“That’s a good sign Olive,” you confirm, “if a boy likes you he’ll make sure to compliment you, don’t settle for a boy who doesn’t make you feel special, promise me?”
Olive nods diligently, “promise.”
You make a little “aha” noise as you finish with the first braid and begin to move onto the second.
“Did Uncle Jake do that?” She ponders.
“Hmm?”
“Make you feel special?”
You nod your head as your fingers move nimbly through her hair, “he asked me out five times before I said yes.” you giggle in remembrance.
“Five?” Olive chuckles.
You’re not quite sure how to explain to Jake’s niece that you thought he was something of the manwhore before he finally professed his feelings for you.
“I wanted to know that he was committed,” you decide on.
“Uncle Jake really loves you. I heard him on the phone to my mom yesterday and-”
“Stop spilling all my secrets would ya?” Jake quickly interrupts, butting the door open with his foot.
Ellie is propped on his right side holding a plate of what you can assume are your cookies. She and Jake had long gone through the sheets of her My Little Pony colouring book and had decided to come find the two of you and share the cookies that were quickly depleting.
Olive giggles, “sorry Uncle Jake.”
“It’s okay kid,” he grins and plops Ellie down on your bed before coming to stand behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist and pecks you on the lips quickly.
Olive and Ellie both pull faces and Jake laughs, “I thought that’s what you wanted to do to Trey, Ollie?”
Olive gasps, “how do you know? And no I do not!”
Jake taps the side of his nose teasingly. You roll your eyes and quickly finish off her braid, flipping them over her shoulders.
“Done.” You pat her head and hope her anger will diffuse.
“Thank you,” she smiles brightly at you, but returns to shooting daggers at Jake just shortly after.
“Cookies?” He offers up as a peace offering.
Olive still keeps up her impressive pout.
“I made them babe don’t worry,” you provide.
“Well in that case,” Olive reaches for a cookie and takes a hefty bite, her eyes widen considerably, “these are so good!”
“Thank you!” You smile, brushing at the crumbs that had accumulated on her cheeks.
“These are the best cookies ever!” Ellie proclaims from where she is now chowing down on another cookie.
“Hey! I thought we said no more?” Jake frowns in faux anger, plopping down on the bed next to Ellie.
“You said that, not me!” Ellie giggles.
“You got me there, bellie.” Jake sighs in defeat.
Ellie throws herself into Jake’s arms and gives her best puppy dog eyes.
“Can we watch a movie?” She pleads.
“You wanna watch a movie, kid?” Jake pokes Olive.
Olive looks to you and you smile, “Yeah,” she nods.
An hour later, you’re all squished onto the couch watching Frozen. Ellie is long past waking up and is spread out across the “L” part of the couch snoring quietly.
You’re tucked into Jake’s side and he’s fiddling with your hand, he hasn’t been watching the screen at all. Instead, watching your features and the way Olive will point out her favourite parts and songs to you. He particularly enjoys her version of “fixer upper” which he presumed might be dedicated to him. He enjoys even more so when by the time the film ends the way that Olive is dozing off on your shoulder and the way you’re stroking softly at her arm.
“They love you,” he coos into your ear.
“I’m glad,” you hum, “I really love them.”
“Olive is never like that with anyone, she’s usually so shy.” Jake explains, placing a kiss at your temple and then tucking your head under his chin.
“I was like that too when I was her age.” You murmur as to not wake the girls, “I hope she knows how special she is.”
“You’re gonna be such a good mom someday,” he whispers down at you.
“I hope so.”
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2.
Jake had been waiting for what felt like hours. It was five minutes really. But when you had told him to go wait in the car he had expected you to be out much sooner than you were. And when you finally sat down next to him, he wasn’t all too pleased.
“Let’s go.” You hum, pulling down the mirror to apply a final layer of lip gloss.
“Is that what you’re wearing?”
“Yeah, why?” You turn, a crease forming in your brow.
Jake winces, unsure of whether to continue, “your skirt, it’s really short.”
“I guess so.” You deadpan.
A beat passes.
“Are you going to cover up?”
Jake watches as your face drops.
“Why would I do that?” You reply snappily.
Jake sighs and begins to pull his car out of the driveway.
“Because I don’t want random guys hitting on you all night.”
“How is that my problem?” You retort, anger bubbling up.
“I just don’t want them getting wrong ideas about you, that’s all.” Jake tries to reason.
“And what would those ideas be, Jake?”
Jake can sense your rising anger. He doesn’t want to be in an argument with you by the time you reach the Hard Deck. That leaves him approximately four minutes to diffuse the situation he has caused.
“Just forget I said anything, it’s fine.” Jake dismisses.
“No, I want to know what you mean.” You assert, arms coming up to cross over your chest.
“Can we just drop it?” Jake sighs after a moment, “I don’t want to fight in front of everyone.”
“We wouldn’t have to fight if you weren’t being a dick!”
Jake rolls his eyes and doesn’t dignify you with a response, angering you even further. When he finally pulls into a spot outside of the Hard Deck you turn to him and flick at his shirt that can’t have more than two buttons done up.
“You gonna do that up sweetheart? Touch revealing don’t ya think?” You spit snarkily.
With that you slam the door to the car and make your way inside without looking back. Jake watches as you beeline for Natasha and rolls his eyes when she shoots him a dirty look. It was only more ammunition for her general distaste of him.
It goes like that for the rest of the night. You avoid Jake like the plague, sticking to Nat’s side mostly near the bar top. Although, you always stay within Jake’s line of sight which is heartening for him.
Bradley seems to find the ordeal hilarious.
“What did you do to piss her off this time?” He taunts.
Jake grunts. “I told her that her skirt was too short and that she needed to change.”
Bradley’s eyes widen, “bagman even I know you’re not supposed to say shit like that.”
“Yeah, well I know that now!” Jake spits.
“Hey don’t shoot the messenger,” Bradley rolls his eyes, “just go say sorry.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“She called me a dick.” Jake huffs.
“She’s not wrong,” Bradley offers.
Jake stays silent.
“You’re so petty.”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
Bradley and Jake stare at one another for a moment.
“Yeah, okay maybe,” Jake relents.
He sighs and averts his gaze back where you’re sat with Nat. You’re laughing so hard at something she’s said that you’re doubled over. You really did look beautiful, and Jake hadn’t even told you because he was too worried he was gonna get jealous and be a dick. Yet he still managed to do the last part.
“I hate when you’re right,” Jake admits, handing his beer over to Bradley.
Jake begins to make his way over to you, he’s going to apologise. However, he did not account for what was going to be quite the persistent obstacle.
“Hey,” a voice blurts from in front of him.
Jake catches sight of the owner of the voice, she’s tall and just a touch too blonde to be believable. She’s pretty, sure. But not you.
“Hey,” Jake replies absentmindedly, trying to make his way around her.
She steps in front of him again, blocking you from his view and tries to start up a new conversation.
“I’m Kendra, and you are?” She smiles in what Jake supposes was seduction.
Right now all he’s really trying to figure out is if your still at the bar or not.
“Jake.” He replies, hoping it will satiate her enough to move.
“Well Jake, it is great to meet you,” Kendra hums, sticking out her hand for Jake to shake.
Jake shakes it swiftly and goes to retract his hand, Kendra keeps it in her own grasp and plays with his fingers, keeping an awkward amount of eye contact with him.
“Look Kendra, I’m sure you’re a great girl but my-”
“I love your shirt!” She interrupts, “would probably love what’s underneath more.”
Jake cringes at her line and at the way her hand is now currently moving towards the excessive amount of chest exposed by his lowly buttons. Before she can reach skin, her hand is smacked away by red polished nails that Jake would recognise anywhere.
“Hey baby,” you whisper, before throwing your arms around Jake’s neck and smashing your lips into his.
Jake is all too quick to reciprocate, letting his hands fall to your ass only just covered by the tiny skirt that Jake has suddenly taken a distinct liking to. You pull back only to catch your breath, but instead catch sight of the seething blonde still stood uncomfortably close.
“We were talking!” She insists.
“He’s busy,” you cock your head to the side in faux apology, “sorry.”
She huffs and mumbles “crazy bitch” as she storms off, you pout to try and hold in your giggles. When you turn back to Jake, it proves useless trying to hold them in when you catch sight of his mouth smothered in your pink lipgloss.
“You’re so fucking hot,” Jake breathes out.
“I’m still mad at you,” you tease.
“I’m sorry, I know I’m a jealous dick, you just look so fucking good I didn’t want anyone else to see you.” Jake explains, hands caressing at the skin at the tops of your thighs.
You snort, “I think I’m the jealous one,”
“Good, I like a change of pace sometimes,” Jake pinches softly at your skin and lets a smile grace his feature at the way you squeak.
“Should we get out of here?” You whisper, hand trailing down Jake’s chest to where his hand is resting on you.
You guide his hand underneath your skirt slowly until Jake realises the lack of barrier between his hand and your cunt.
“Fuck, baby.” Jake hums practically into your mouth from how closely you two are stood.
You step away from him swiftly and bring his hand back into yours, pulling him towards the parking lot. Jake could cry from happiness.
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3.
“If this is stupid you can just tell me, okay?” You ask from where you’re stood in front of a blindfolded Jake.
It’s his birthday today and you told him you had a surprise. He figured it would be a party, which he was thankful for but he couldn’t understand the point of the blindfold.
“Okay you can take it off now.” You instruct.
Jake all but rips the blindfold off and looks down at you to take in your attire.
“Jesus, baby.”
“Do you like it?” You question, giving him a little spin.
Jake’s mouth is agape as he watches the way you twirl, clad in the tiniest daisy dukes he thinks he’s ever seen and what can only be his flannel. The cream of your cowboy boots are subtle and suit you well.
“Like it?” Jake steps forward and shoves his hands into the small back pockets of your shorts, “I fuckin’ love it.”
Behind you, Jake can see his Stetson placed on the table, and behind that he can see into the garden where all of his friends are already drinking and chatting.
“You set this up, baby?” He nods to the glass doors.
“I had some help,” you shrug, finally moving out of his grip to grab his hat.
Jake extends his hand out for you to pass it to him, but is pleasantly surprised when you place it on your own head. He opens his mouth to speak, but your catch him before he can with a wink,
“I know the rule, cowboy.” You tease, placing your hand on his chest. “Consider it a birthday gift.”
Jake holds back a groan as you drag him outside to where he’s greeted by a chorus of “happy birthday”s and various other jokes about him getting old. It sort of shocks Jake at the amount of people there to celebrate, and he has to hold in a chuckle as he sees a number of your friends already beelining for the group of pilots nursing beers on the decking.
Bradley is quick to find Jake as the party gets into full swing, people chatting and music playing throughout the yard.
“You’re one lucky son of a bitch,” Bradley chuckles slapping Jake on the shoulder.
Jake has been staring at you for the last 10 minutes as you twirl around with Phoenix to the varied 2000s songs that have been on loop for most of the evening.
“Don’t I know it,” Jake boasts, clinking his beer bottle against Bradley’s.
You can feel a gaze on your back as you grind onto Phoenix whilst Nelly Furtado plays, not to your shock it’s Jake, head cocked to the side with a lazy smirk on his face whilst practically ignoring everything Bradley is saying to him. You can only giggle as Phoenix makes a teasing remark about him being whipped. She wasn’t wrong.
You make you way towards the boys slowly, smiling as you catch the end of their conversation.
“Whatcha talking about?” You goad, as Jake pulls you back against his chest already.
“You.” Bradley answers truthfully.
“All bad I suppose?” You bait.
“Oh the worst,” Jake fills in, pinching at the meat of your thigh playfully.
Deciding not to prod further, you turn in Jake’s grip to face him and plant a sloppy kiss on his face. It makes Jake laugh and Bradley mock gag, rolling his eyes and making his way towards Phoenix. Jake captures your lips with his a few more times, hands wandering dangerously low towards your ass before you pull away with a wink, and also slight fear of traumatising your guests.
“Patience is a virtue,” you remind Jake, he simply groans in response.
The rest of the night goes as such, Jake gets cornered into conversations, his eyes wander to you, you tease him some way or the other, Jake is left half hard whilst talking to an admiral. It’s uncomfortably delicious and Jake cannot wait for his last birthday gift.
At 1:30 AM, the only stragglers left are the dagger squad, drunkenly swaying around Jake’s backyard and singing horrific variations of “Slow Ride” to annoy him. It doesn’t even work, because Jake knows he has something so sweet waiting for him. However, his patience is wearing thin and considering these are the people closest to him, he has no qualms with speaking his mind.
“Alright, y’all time to get going,” he announces, herding everyone out.
Bob had been kind enough to offer to drive everyone home, and Jake was keen to take him up on it, helping Bob strap in their drunk friends with alarming efficiency.
“Hey! What’s the rush birthday boy?” Javy slurs as Jake buckles his seatbelt.
“He wants birthday sex!” Nat whisper shouts into Javy’s ear, with emphasis on the shout.
The truck erupts in whoops and crude hollers towards Jake and only Bob can offer him an apologetic smile.
“Good luck,” Jake pats Bob on the back.
“You too.” Bob replies with a laugh, eyes glancing quickly to where you’re stood on the porch, hip popped out against one of the wooden beams.
Jake all but sprints back to you, hauling you up into his arms, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist. You move to place his stetson on his own head, but Jake stops you.
“Nuh-uh sweetheart, you ride the cowboy, you gotta wear the hat.” He smirks, kicking the front door shut behind him.
“Seems fair.” You hum after a moment.
And when Jake walks into the changing rooms on Monday morning, taking off his shirt to reveal hideous claw marks down his back. No one bats an eye.
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4.
Jake had experienced what one could only describe as a clusterfuck of a day.
To start off the day, his alarm hadn’t gone off, meaning he had to sprint to his car and run a red light on the way to work. What was worse than the impending ticket that he was going to receive was the fact that he hadn’t even been able to kiss you goodbye like he does every morning.
It set him up badly. Jake Seresin was never one for superstitions but you were clearly his lucky charm. Proved so even further by the way his concentration was lacking in the flight simulations he was running. Then when they were up in the air, Jake was missing every opportunity to shoot down Maverick, messing up every manoeuvre and just generally souring his already damp mood.
To top it all off, the pièce de résistance, when Jake finally made it back to the changing rooms, itching to change out of his sweaty flight suit. His bag was sat open, clothes sopping wet whilst two of the newbies stood guiltily next to a broken shower head.
He almost blew his lid. Almost. But then he pictured getting back to you, falling into your arms after this tragic day and finally being able to relax. So for once, Jake decided to keep his mouth shut. He picked up his sopping bag and silently stalked out of the room.
When Jake reached his truck and listened to the way his bag squelched as he set it down, he held in another groan of frustration. The sun was still beating down and his sweaty flight suit was clinging to him in all the wrong places. Deep breath in, clench the steering wheel too hard, deep breath out. It was a 15 minute drive. He could do that for God’s sake.
Jake’s 15 minute drive quickly became a 45 minute one when he found out the road he was supposed to be taking was closed due to a burst pipe. The sky was a dusky purple as he finally pulled up outside your house. Jake can see that the light is on in the kitchen as well as your figure moving around languidly.
Jake slams the car door probably too loudly and rushes to the door. When he opens it, Jake is greeted with the loud sounds of your 90s playlist blasting throughout the house, he can hear you voice - although somewhat out of tune - belting along as well.
It makes him smile, for the first time on that horrid day. Jake’s bag of damp clothes are forgotten by the door as he quickly shucks himself of his boots and makes his way towards the kitchen. He opens the door to the sight of you wiggling your hips to Santana whilst holding a spatula and pushing around some type of stir fry.
You continue your movements, but turn at the sound of someone entering, a large smile gracing your face once you realise who it is.
“Hey, handsome,” you preen, dancing your way towards him.
Jake can’t help but chuckle at you movements, but he quickly falls limp once your wrap your arms around his neck. His large arms wrap around your waist tightly, engulfing you in him. You take note of Jake’s subdued demeanour, and raise one of your hands to scratch at the hair at his neck just like you know he loves.
“You okay, babe?” you hum, swaying him slightly.
“Shit day,” he groans out, leaning further into your touch.
“You wanna talk about it?” You continue your ministrations.
“Later.” He huffs, “Just wanna be with you.”
Jake’s sweet words make you melt into him further, burying your face into his chest. The arms of his flight suit were tied around his waist, only his tight black undershirt covering the expanse of his chest. He smelt like a combination of jet fuel, sweat and his cologne that he’d hurriedly sprayed in the morning. It should probably be off putting but it was so undeniably Jake that it was addictive. You inhale again as you place a chaste kiss against his pec.
“Are you sniffing me?” Jake chuckles.
“You smell so good,” you can only groan out, smushing your face into him again.
Jake leans back and takes your face in his hands,
“I’ve not even showered, I stink,” he chuckles incredulously.
“You still smell so good,” you whine, lips forming a pout.
“That means we’re meant to be or something, my pheromones get you going huh?” Jake teases.
“Never say pheromones again,” you roll your eyes and wiggle out of his grip to lower the heat under the pan you were searing the food in.
Jake follows you diligently, arms wrapping around your waist so he can cling to you as you move about the kitchen. Once bored of your movements, Jake swiftly lifts you up to sit at the counter top.
“Jake!” You swat at his chest, “we need to plate up the food,” you remind him.
“It can wait,” he decides, leaning in to connect his lips to yours.
It’s what he’d been waiting for all day. The pillow of your lips on his, the way you melt into his touch. One strong hand caressing the side of your face and the other gripping at your hip. You rest one hand on his chest, the other at the back of his neck, guiding his face to yours over and over again. Jake feels like a teenager again, making out with his girlfriend on the kitchen counter top. Except his 16 year old self would probably lose his mind trying to figure out how he ended up with someone like you.
Once you’d let Jake’s tongue explore your mouth in a kiss that had lasted far too long, you finally pull back to catch your breath.
“You want food?” you question with a smile.
“Please,” Jake hums as you hop off the counter. He smacks at your ass you walk away from him, “I’m starving.”
You roll your eyes fondly, and get to plating up the food. Jake isn’t too keen on letting you out of his grip, so you sit in his lap as you eat, feeding him and yourself at the same time. It’s nice, his strong grip is comforting and Jake appreciates how eager you are to listen to his rant about his shitty day.
“I was missing you all day, baby,” Jake murmurs, kissing at the side of your neck.
“I always miss you, Jake,” you smile earnestly, “now go shower and I’ll wash the plates.”
Jake allows you out of his grip so you can stand and move back around the kitchen, he shadows you once again, moving in tandem with his hands never leaving you.
“I thought you were going to shower?” You question, placing the last dish in the dishwasher.
“I don’t wanna leave you,” he whines.
You sigh, holding in your smirk as you turn to face him. “You wanna shower together?”
Jake has never looked so giddy as he practically races up the stairs, shirt flying off as he climbs the steps.
“You’re insatiable!” You yell after him.
“Only for you!” He yells in return.
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+1
“I’ve thought a lot about what I could say right now,” Jake clears his throat.
He’s not nervous. In fact he doesn’t think anything has ever been so clear in his mind.
“I think usually when people do these things they tell memories or defining moments about their relationship, but the truth is. Every goddamn moment since I met you, I knew this was the only possible outcome.”
Jake looks down to where your sat with your shared friends and family, you look like a dream really. He’d been antsy about not seeing your dress, but now he was glad he’d waited.
“Y’know she turned me down five times before finally agreeing to go out with me?” Jake chuckles into the mic he’s holding.
Laughter rings out through the guests but Jake’s gaze never wavers from you. You’re rolling your eyes at him with a smile on your face, letting out a giggle as Jake’s mom squeezes your hand.
“I don’t blame her, I was kind of a mess. I’d just been stationed back here on North Island, and Javy was my only friend because I was a dick.”
The dagger squad, raise their glasses in a cheers to Jake’s statement, cracking the room up again.
“I never thought Rooster would be sat at my table at my wedding, I’ll admit that.” Jake laughs out.
Bradley in return whoops and raises a hand in salute to Jake.
“He’s single by the way ladies,” Jake winks to your elderly grandmother.
“Anyways, as I was saying, total dick, with a lacking moral compass and even more so in my emotions. I was kind of betting on getting the mission done and going back to wherever the hell I was stationed and moving on. Then I ended up pissing off the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen by pouring a drink down her shirt, and she chewed me out worse than any admiral I’d ever crossed.”
“It was expensive!” You quickly yell out in defence.
“As you can see, I’m still making up for it,” Jake teases, “but from that moment onwards I realised I needed to get my act together. My pea brain was shocked that a woman would cuss me out like that, and I immediately fell in love with her. Which probably makes me sound crazy but seriously, being around you for five minutes makes you want to be a better person, and being around you for this long has made me a better man.”
Jake’s smile can only widen when your glossy eyes meet his, “Rooster once told me I was a lucky son of a bitch to have you, and as annoyingly as always. He was right. I don’t know how or why you agreed to be my girlfriend, and it’s a godsent miracle that I get to call you my wife. You’re the best person in every room - sorry everyone - and the most beautiful person always. I love you, which you already know, but I just wanted to say it again,” Jake exhales.
Jake raises his glass in a final toast, “to my beautiful wife, the new Mrs Seresin.”
Glasses clink around the room and Jake almost misses you beelining for him throughout all the commotion. Your arms wrap swiftly around his neck, pulling his lips against yours. You kiss him softly, before pulling back to whisper to him,
“You know I love you so fucking much right?”
“Of course I do, baby,” Jake hums.
“You’re the best man I know,” you smile, leaning in to his lips again.
Jake dips you as you kiss, feeding off of the theatrics as people holler. People are standing and moving towards the dance floor as he brings you back up, forehead pressed against your own.
“Do you know how hot it is that you’re my wife?” He smirks.
“Mrs Seresin does have a nice ring to it,” you decide.
“The best, actually,” Jake replies, as he’s dragged towards the dance floor by Javy.
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a/n: jake is so husband coded it’s not even funny,,, like THAT IS MY MAN!!!!
@roosterforme ages ago we were talking and you asked me to tag you when i posted my jake fic, sorry it’s been eons hehe i hope you enjoy!!
pls comment, reblog, or send me an ask and tell me what you think!!
thank you for reading :))
- honey <333
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medium-rare-bimbo · 9 months
Text
Disappeared for almost a year, willing to answer questions about that thank you for all the concern :)) but really sorry for abandoning you all <3<3
♡masterlist♡
Stalker! Ghostface! eddie x bimbo! reader
-Steve is also mentioned <3<3
Eddie = stu
Steve = billy
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!!!WARNINGS!!!
contains: dark! Eddie, noncon/ Dubcon, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy (obvi <3), knife play, blood, murder, mentions of necrophilia, crying, kidnapping, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm
MINORS DNI
♡ you're one of the most popular girls at school or maybe in the entirety of Hawkins, you were pretty, always best dressed and most importantly eye candy for those around you. It didn't help that you were the sweetest girl to exist, despite the difference between you and the losers of the world you didnt treat them any different humans were humans what they looked like or how they acted wasnt apart of your conscience.
♡ eddie was set on you being his first statement victim, his first chance to show hawkins that people who peak in highscool were nothing more than burnouts, his first time showing the world that popular people meant nothing in the big picture, the big ocean of the world were you're nothing more than a drop of water. You would make headlines, your name and reputation would let everyone know just what they would be dealing with. who they were messing with.
♡ he stalked you for hours, days, weeks, months, memorizing your habits, your friends, your daily routines, your class schedules, what you do when you get home, who you hang out with, your dates, your family, how you respond to calls, who you talk to, your house layouts, entrance and exit points. Every. Single. Detail. He had taken up a habit of stealing some of your belongings scrunchie, hair tie, pieces of paper you've doodled on, notes, strands of your hair, eddie wanted everything. when the small opportunity became available he would occasionally break into your home, convincing himself that this was to memorize the layout of your house but not stopping himself from taking what he pleases panties, bras, lip balm, shirts, skirts, anything old and useless or in a large quantity would go missing. You never seemed to notice things go missing anyway
♡ nothing was off limits for eddie, NOTHING. He watched you walk, talk, eat, shower, get dressed, EVERYTHING. maybe it was the pre murder adrenaline that made him overthink, the fear of getting caught, the risk he was taking, the orgasmic haze that flooded over him everytime he thought about your corpse laying infront of him, botched up, dismantled, butchered into nothing more than your own worth. perhaps this rush made him plan out every possible outcome. He couldnt waste a lifetime in prison over some dumb bimbo who didnt know what pythagoras was. He had no reason to feel guilt it wasnt as if he hadnt gotten rid of some nobodies before but this was you, this was different this, was more meaningful. a few dead people who no one knew the name of wasnt something people cared about because they werent popular. They were freaks and no one cares for freaks except the circus, a place where they can point and laugh.
♡As much as eddie feared the consequences of his actions he needed to do this, his entire life hes been treated as if he were a freak. This is what he was made to do picking off all of the useless nobodies who think they matter in a sea of carbon copies. No one should miss a model or an athlete when there were people out there becoming scientist, people out there saving lives while others make a living by simply existing.
♡ When steve had fallen from grace, dethroned by billy Hargrove, it was like something inside him snapped almost like something dark had taken control of him. he became this standoffish creature yet he still had charm and almost like ink to water the darkness naturally spread to eddie, somehow, someway the two became as thick as thieves overnight
♡ Eddie had always been dark, dark clothes, dark hair, dark eyes, dark music, dark life but Steve's influence made that darkness deepen, stories upon stories could come out about how disturbing eddie was yet they soon got swept under the rug when he was out with steve. creepy, charming, funny, manipulative, strange were all words you could describe eddie 'the freak' munson. Pherhaps he was already stained, perhaps steve reopening the wound letting the blood spill out was what caused this disaster, he needed to reignite the spark that made him, HIM and that spark seemed to be enough to cause an explosion.
♡ steve was the one to bring up the idea of murder, Nancy wheeler his ex girlfriend would be their (his) final girl every other victim a pawn and statement in his plan, his message to Hawkins, the world. although eddie had dabbled in the idea of killing someone almost obsessing, idolizing, romatizing dreaming of it he had never had the balls to pull it off, he knew there would accusations immediately pointed at him, soon losing the game he so desperately deserved to win at.
♡ eddie latched on to Steves reputation like a leech to flesh, he could get away with anything and no one would bat an eye. An alibi coming from steve 'the hair' harrington meant much more than cheerleaders who were known to torment eddie. The cops brushed off the suspicion with sympathy, poor eddie being targeted once again. Although that wasnt just the reason eddie became so attached to steve, him and Steve now shared the same ideology of the uselessness of popularity, billy hargrove was the best thing to come out of this school. Eddie now had a ride or die.
♡ when the topic of you being the first statement victim came up steve wasnt too pleased at the idea, you hadnt been mean to either of them and he was hoping the first assertion would be someone like billy, jason, chrissy or even Johnathan. He battled with eddie for days, weeks even, soon agreeing on the terms that it would be after he had used you, he wasn't about to slaughter a girl like you without trying you out first.
♡ a reluctant agree from eddie sealed the deal, steve sleeps with you, eddie ends you.
♡ they're outside your house steve in a tree eddie in a bush, their bodies unseen in the darkness as they watch their prey move about. Living room, hallway, kitchen, hallway, stairs, hallway, your room. Although they couldnt see into your room, this time you had remembered your curtains and as much as steve felt disappointment about not being able to witness your last moments he knew it was better this way. You wont see them and the nighbours wouldnt either
♡ as soon as your situated in your room he wait about 30 minutes before calling, going over the plan with eddie and hoping you're too warm to get out of bed and grab a knife. signalling to eddie that it was time to go He strategically moves around the perimeter of your house, making his way to the kitchen window that you never locked despite the fact there were murders, you never seemed to lock any of your windows almost as if you were inviting him in. the kitchen gave him the advantage to be unseen by cars possibly driving by and an easy way to grab an extra knife if needed.
♡ he crawled through the unlocked window, the black clothing blending into the night the only part of him visible is the white ghost mask covering his face. He could hear you talking to steve upstairs, answering his questions, asking questions and seemingly trying to get off the phone. He was excited almost, the thrill rushing over him as he heard your voice.
"Oh I dont really watch horror movies"
"....?"
"Yeah I get creeped out so much i usually watch them with someone, I dont like being alone watching monsters"
"....?"
"Yeah i just hate the suspense-"
So does he
"-it kills me-"
You have no idea
"- i just hate the music and the way you know you're obviously going to be scared but you just cant tell when"
"......?"
"Noo I'm not into cult things either, ever since the fire at melody lane I cant look at them the same"
".......?"
"Listen I'm just saying its really weird there was a fire and then the band blew up"
"......"
"I mean youd get suspicious too right? they're total cultists"
".... .....?
"T-they didnt sacrifice me I was just saying- listen is there a reason you called so late"
"......."
"If you're Jason or something I already said no leave me alone! I'm busy"
"..... ............. .......?"
"What do you mean where you are? I dont want to meet up for a quick fuck and I definitely dont want to know the name of someone who calls at god knows what hour"
"........"
".....what?"
"....."
"....The bathroom?"
"...."
".....The kitchen?"
"......"
"How close are you?"
"....."
"I'm not playing in to your stupid prank! I have things to do!!" You slam down the phone
♡ It was his go time, he waited and waited and waited hearing the phone ring and you quickly hanging up before the ringing stopped all together and he could hear the sound of your sheets moving. He waited some more, he wanted you to forget about the call, this time there would be no suspense youd think you're safe and sound until you're suddenly impaled by the knife in his grip.
♡ minutes ticked by he was sure steve thought he had pussied out. He reached his hand to the door knob and froze as he heard cries- moans. He couldn't believe this. You slut, you filthy, dirty, stupid slut you had just been threatened and told that there was someone in your house and you're touching yourself? Maybe eddie had been waiting so long that you had called Steve's the callers bluff.
♡ a shaking hand, one of delight not fear, twisted the door knob being silent however he doubted you could hear anything over you own moans to caught up in your world to acknowledge the murderer standing in your door way. The sight before eddie had been breathtaking and in any other circumstance he would have watched you until you came.
Hands down the front of your panties, head thrown back, eyes closed with nothing but a t shirt on, you clearly werent wearing a bra as he could perfectly see the outline of your nipples. He supposes adrenaline has different affects on everyone, yours just happens to be becoming horny. What a wonderful discovery
♡ he stalked towards you despite his heavy boots he made no sound, whines and gasps erupted from your throat as he neared closer truly getting the full show to it all. He leered above you like a hawk taking in the view before him until he strikes. He grabbed your mouth quickly shutting you up, muffling the scream that made it's way out of your throat, your hands immediately grabbing his own giving him a view of your sticky fingers all while shuffling up the bed to try and save your own dignity trying to block you body away from his sight.
♡ he climbed on top of you, pressing you into the bed and pinning your legs in place stopping the kicks from reaching him. He hung over you, his breathe heavy as he watched the horror in your eyes brighten as they caught glimpse of the weapon in his hand. You pleas and begs muffled into his glove as he stared at you giving you no indication of mercy
♡ He suddenly flips you over, your head forced into your pillows and stuffies silencing your protests with your ass raised, he pulled at you hips ragdoll-ing you into the position he wanted you in. He moved his hands down hour body towards your out of place panties reaching for the edge of them before you started yelling
"Get the fuck off of me-"
He roughly shoved your head back into the pillow once again silencing you
"Stay the down and shut the fuck up, I'll kill you now. I'll make you unrecognisable that the police will think you broke in do you want that?"
A sobbed out no and shake of the head came out, he once again shoved your head into your pillows as a warning
"Great now as you reminisce on your life, rethinking everything you've done and havent experienced you're gonna let me play with you until I'm bored got it?"
You once again nodded weeping into your pillow clutching the bears next to you, knowing the inevitable you accepted your fate. Atleast you'll be able to pray your family and friends knew you loved them
♡ eddie pulled your panties down slapping your leg indicating you to lift you knees up, he pocketed them keeping a souvenir for later. His hands found your thighs crawling their way up to your most intimate area he spread your holes with his thumbs, playing with the flesh revealing the sight of the juices leaking out of you no doubt from your little escapade. Eddie pondered while mindlessly playing with your anatomy, should he just kill you? Back out of this and get the job done? He shoudlnt be doing this, he was supposed to hunt food not play it. I mean it wasnt as if steve would mind right? He got his time to play and He wont cum in you probably, no dna behind the crime and he should atleast indulge. he is the one doing the dirty work. rationally he might as well have some fun before mutilating you right? Hes still going to kill you, has to. Maybe even kill you mid thrust and fuck your bleeding out corpse if hes up for it, going round after round until your body is cold.
♡ eddie, snapping out of his pondering thoughts, stopped playing with his now decided fleshlight shuffling his way up to you so his hips meet your ass, he hesitated slightly but barely before unbuckling his belt. Pulling down the tattered and worn out jeans (along with his boxers) to reveal his hard on. You sobbed harder as you felt him rub his cock on your cunt soaking in your juices, you were quickly shut up by a slap on your ass getting the memo you tried to bargain with him
"Please- please dont i- I can give you money or anything you want just please-"
He pressed his tip inside you, throwing his head back as you squealed and cried. A deep groan fell out of his mouth as your warmth wrapped around him. He brought his hands to the back of your neck gripping the hair harshly before leaning down
"I dont want money or clothes or food or a magic show I want your life and youre gonna give it to me you're gonna let me abuse this cunt and there's nothing you can do about it understood?"
"Mhm"
"Great now the only noise I want from your mouth are moans and cries because I dont want you to ruin this for me okay? I've waited so long to steal you away from the world this is only some self indulgence on my part you should be grateful"
♡ he began to slide in deep "Wait!"- you reached your arm back to push his hips away before his cock could enter "you need a condom I dont want to get pregn-" Before you could finish eddie pinned your arms against your back (forcing it to arch more than it already had) shoving his cock inside you to shut you up, you were being too loud as you actively ignored his order. You're such an idiot you wont be alive to carry a child, if he did cum inside, your body wouldnt be able to catch his seed youd be dead by then, hes about to murder you why would he leave behind obvious evidence?
♡ You squealed as his cock breached your hole barely giving you time to process the sheer size of it or the piercings that littered the underside. It wasnt long before he started thrusting in and out of you, he couldn't care less about your pleasure this isnt about you. You didnt deserve to adapt to the sudden abuse of your womb, you didnt deserve anything.
♡ although eddie was empty for your pleasure he did enjoy the moans and gasps coming out if you. If you had been a hook up at devils kettle after his band he would have took his time on you savouring the feeling of your walls as you took him, he would have tasted you until you couldnt breathe, came inside you until you couldnt walk, so many things he would have done differently. Nonetheless he doesnt regret what hes doing and what hes eventually going to do it's just a shame he couldnt relish in the tightness of your cunt regularly. Like poison you could only do have it once
"You know maybe I wont kill you think you can impress me enough for me to spare you? Huh? Or are you to dumb like the whore you are to even understand what I'm saying?"
"Mmm"
"Aww that's what I thought it's like you didnt want to live"
♡ his pounding picked up his grasp on your hip tightening almost squeezing immediate bruises into your skin. One of his gloved hands reached your headboard using it as leverage to fuck aswell as pulling it towards him to stop the repeated banging from it smashing into the wall. Your moans were a mixed with sobs and mumbles, you didnt even know what you were asking for, did you want him to stop? Or keep going? You're brain hazy and blinded by the violent treatment to your pretty puffy cunt
♡ Sweat from his brow dripped down into the mask soaking the fabric that covered the eyes and mouth. the mask in question did no job of muffling or hiding the noises that tumbled out of him, a mix of grunts, whines, groans and growls admitted from the man. He was unleashing all the pent up anger and insecurity into his thrusts. Stuttered breaths came from him although it sounded like snarls. His eyes couldnt focus on where to look, your face covered in your own sweat, tears and spit or the way your hole swallowed him in, practically sucking him back inside as soon as he left. It was a beautiful sight, your cunt now leaking down both his and your own thighs. red and raw from the ruining of his manhood and swollen balls repeatedly beating against your lips and clit.
♡ god he could keep you forever, locked in his rooms with nothing on, your only purpose is to be filled. Be his little housewife. Youd make such an amazing mommy you're so sweet to everyone youd be so good to him and his babies- what the fuck was he thinking?! Hes supposed to kill you not breed you like a cow and marry you what the fuck is wrong with him?? He picks up his forgetting knife tracing over your spine with it you squealed as he did, pressing yourself into your mattress to get away from the blade. He dragged the knife down to your thigh before making light marks upon them, maybe he could make it look like you were struggling mentally and was just some crazy bitch who cut herself to cope, if he stabs you correctly he could make it look like suicide.
♡ the pretty pearls of blood blossomed around the wounds he made, they were shallow but god did he love the sight of your blood as it trailed down your thigh similar to your own juices. Switching hands without pausing his momentum, swapping out the one holding your headboard. he began to do the same to your other thigh, relishing in the whimpers of either pain or confused pleasure although he guessed you enjoyed it from the way you clenched around him and started to try and move back against his thrusts. Knowing soon that if he didnt restrict with his mutilation he wouldnt be able to stop himself and it would no longer look self inflicted. He threw the knife next to him, leaning down to the crook of your neck breathing in your scent, his hand tip toed it's way to your throat pressing against your wind pipe as he watched your face, the face that was stuck in a pleading expression he knew you wanted mercy whether that be to cum or to live he knew you couldnt have one so he gave up on silencing the banging and reached his unoccupied hide down to yout clit pressing against the poor nub to gage your reaction immediately you moaned trying to turn you head into you pillow the hand on your throat disobeying you to even move. He rubbed the poor pearl in circles letting you cry out and your tears soak into his gloves
♡ his fun however was cut short by a person in the doorway, steve, dressed in his costume, head tilted with his arms crossed a disappointed stance as he watched the show infront of him 'really?' Was what steve was trying to say. In response eddie leaned up relocating his hand from your neck into the back of your head shoving you into the pillows before slapping your ass with the same hand staring directly at steve 'what are you gonna do about it'. You cried out at the sudden abuse which was met with another slap, steve having seen enough walked out probably raiding your fridge or something.
♡ you felt amazing hes kind of envious of steve for getting to you first, a slight wave of frustration washed over him as he couldnt have you again. His animalistic behaviour along with his feral treatment of you brought you close to the edge. Eddie's hands that now found their place back on your hips received urgent taps as you tried to communicate your end. He coudlnt care less though but he might aswell get the most he can out of his toy. Snaking on of his hands down to your clit, listening to your heightened wails as you drew closer the other hand leaving your hip and pressed against your stomach feeling the way he destroyed your insides. His body fell foward encapsulating your withering body that was too gone to hold itself up right.
"I- I'm gonna cum- I'm gonna cum- please let me cum please please please please-"
"Shshshhhh you can cum- you can cum im gonna make you cum and you're gonna thank me for doing such a nice thing before you die arent you?"
"yes yes yes yes- yes- oh please fuck- th-thank you thank you oh my god- please- thank you-"
♡ you tightened around him your back arching as your orgasm fell upon you, your fluids squirted along his cock as he continued his rampage, he was so close your pussy practically crushing him as he fucked your dead weight body
"Please- I'm s- sensitive I cant- s'too much- cant- cant take it"
"Y-you can take it. You can take all of it, you're taking me right now- you can take some more-"
♡ he felt his end near as he spoke, the urge to praise you and degrade you flooded through his brain desperately wanting to tell you how good you feel although nothing good ever last forever and he knew he couldnt mark you with his seed
"Didnt think youd be so tight- th-thought after all- all the dickheads you fuck wou- would loosen you out fucking slut, little bitch only good- for getting off"
"Nuh uh mmhmm'not- not a slut- dont sleep around- fuck please slow down please- they lie I dont-"
"They lie about it huh?- shit- they lie about fucking you? Just want to brag huh?"
"Mhmm"
♡ if heaven is real he it would definitely be inside you he didnt deserve heaven, not with the things hes done but he can spoil himself this one time right? Eddie pressed his head into the crook of your neck, the irritating fabric of his hoodie scratching your back, howls and groans spilled out of him he wanted to time it perfectly to pull out as soon as he cums, so much easier to wipe cum from skin then scrape it out of you. Though he doubts the cops would care if they found anything inside you a known minx filled with cum was not a surprise. He felt his hips buck into you stuttering as clawed his way to be closer to you, eddie isnt a strong man he couldnt pull out even if he wanted to, steve can go fuck himself they could find someone else, anyone.
♡ he spilled himself inside you wrapping his arms around your mid section to hold you against him, biting at any exposed flesh he could find, licking and sucking marks into your skin as he fell into greatness, He could feel his cum spill around his cock filling up your insides. Pants and heavy breaths came from the man above you maybe even whines but you couldnt be too sure, whispers of words you couldnt comprehend overflow from behind the mask as he slowly came down sloppy thrusts slowing down as he can to a halt. Over stimulated and hazy minded you barely acknowledge his peak, fuzzy and dumb you couldnt care less about what he does to you body. Your bedding was now soaked as you soon came to realize, he let go, forcing your body to fall flat on the bed. Carefully he pulled out of you watching his seed pool out of you, adding to the mess of your pretty little bed sheets, your poor pussy almost bruised and swollen from his attack, his cum highlighting the beauty of it
♡ he sat back and watched suddenly he didnt feel the urge to harm you, too caught up in post nut clarity. Instead of reaching for his knife he reached for your holes once again, spreading and playing with them, pushing his hard work back into it's new designated place listening to you let out sleepy whimpers and whines. He felt your combined juices melt into the fabric of his glove yet he couldnt care, hed do this every night for the rest if his life if it meant he could experience the warmth of your body.
♡ Eddie shifted off the bed catching a glimpse at your fucked out face barely able to keep your eyes open as your lashes fluttered, he knew you were fighting sleep a part of you aware of the danger you were currently in, however you werent aware of the change of plans. Eddie slipping his knife in the pocket of his jeans gave you one last look, strolling up to you and lifting his mask above his mouth, a small, short kiss pressed against your temple
"I'll be back baby"
♡ he made his way out of your room down the hallway, down the stairs and into he kitchen were he found steve sipping one of your dads beers.
"Did you do it?"
"...nope"
"Didnt think so.. wasnt any screams... jesus christ Eddie we've been planning this for months you were the one that suggested her"
"I mean... can you blame me?"
"Yes"
"That's fair... but you cant tell me her pussy didnt sway your mind about the whole murder thing"
"...."
"Steve lets be honest"
"I guess but that's not the point shes probably going to snitch on us you know that right"
"Please she's practically passed out on her bed, fucked dumb shes lucky she can even acknowledge where she is. She isnt gonna remember this"
"And what if she does"
"I can always go for round two"
"You're disgusting we are so dead"
"Well just have to wait and see wont we?"
♡ safe to say when monday came around there was no talk of your encounter with the infamous ghostface infact there was no indication that you had even had an interaction with a murderer, life went on as if nothing happened.
"Told you"
"You could've gotten us caught"
"But I didnt"
"So who next? I was thinking-"
♡ eddie zoned out as steve rambled one, his eyes travelling to your table as you chatted with friends, his marks were still there and he had no doubts your little girlfriends questioned you who did it. He liked the look of you wearing his claim. He'll visit you tonight, this time he'll fuck the way he truly wants.
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secretsappyabode · 2 years
Note
HOWDY TIFF YOU'RE SO RIGHT YOUR F/OS LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH AND THEY ALWAYS DO MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE NOT THERE ABD GET SO ZAZZED WHEN YOU COME BACK THEY LOVE YOU ✨🧡!!!!!!
Clover @tex-treasures
TY CLOVER AAAAAAAAA ;;;;;;;A;;;;;;;
and the same goes to you my friend!! always remember that youve been a positive impact in your f/os lives, and they absolutely cherish you
if anyone disagrees, they shall meet my GUN-
(reveals a water pistol)
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craftyjuju · 11 months
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2 Brand New Alice In Wonderland Scrucnhies coming to my website very soon ❤️
#craftyjuju #Craftyjujudesigns #AliceInWonderland #scrunchies #xlscrunchies #largescrunchies #AliceInWonderlandscrunchies #hairaccessories #hairtie #largehairtie #comingsoon #smallbusiness #Derbyshirebusiness #chesterfieldbusiness #giftshop #shopsmall #notonthehighstreet
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cupid-styles · 4 months
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Ahhhh I need more hockey!harry 😍 I need a whole back story to how they met, when he started teasing her and for what reason and how they end up together. It’s soo good, I especially loved the jealous blurb, I need more! ❤️
ahhhhh thank you cutie!!! here's a blurb on how they met and got to where they are now
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also tysm to cutie @harrysonlylover for this collage!!!! this v much represents their relationship <3
word count: 1.3k
content warnings: none!
masterlist | talk to me
hockey h x ballerina!yn masterlist
patreon
. . .
Things between Harry and Y/N weren’t always like this.
In fact, maybe in another world, they would’ve been friends. Even lovers, perhaps, but that may be pushing the envelope just a tad. They’re both third years, which means they started at the university at the same time. They attended all of those silly orientation meetings and events alongside one another (and few hundred others) that are designed to make incoming freshmen feel more comfortable, but in reality, just make things awkward and cringy. 
(Harry remembers visibly recoiling when he was told to come up with a fun fact, and they weren’t allowed to say anything about their majors or primary sports.) 
(He ended up going with the fact that he was born in London, which their orientation leader, Lisa, was far too interested in — an annoying amount, really. He thinks she tried getting with him at the bonfire that evening, but Harry was so exhausted he couldn’t even be bothered to pretend like he knew what she was getting at.)
But Y/N was in his orientation group, actually. Years later, he still remembers how strong her legs looked in her shorts and the way she tied her hair up with a velvet scrunchie (it was in the middle of July, and the heat was sweltering, sunrays pelting them straight into their backs and necks). He doesn’t recall what her fun fact was, but he does know that they were paired up for some dumb icebreaker activity. In an effort to get them better familiar with the campus, they had to do a scavenger hunt which, to Harry, felt like cruel and unusual punishment considering the rapidly increasing temperature. They were instructed to fill up their free, university-sponsored water bottles and get to work, returning back to the post before 5 pm, where they’d be having some sort of barbecue situation.
At first, Harry thinks she’s shy. Well, she is — she’s quiet and doesn’t say much besides a soft “thank you” when he offers to run her water bottle over to the refill station. She’s focused on the task at hand, though he can both tell that they would rather poke their own eyes out than do it.
“Let’s take a break,” Harry decides, not 20 minutes in. It’s mainly because his eyes zero in on a shady area on the quad, a semblance of shade offered by a large oak tree. Y/N, exhausted herself, doesn’t fight him.
She sits cross-legged in the grass, her posture near impeccable as Harry lays down, fixing his sunglasses into his curly hair. 
“Have you decided on a major yet?” Harry asks, desperate for some sort of small talk — normally, he doesn’t care for niceties, but the near-silence between them is killing him, considering how hot and bored he is.
“I have a ballet scholarship.” she answers simply.
“That’s cool,” he nods, though he doesn’t know a single thing about it, “I didn’t know this school was big on ballet.”
He notices the way she wrinkles her nose, eyes squinting slightly. 
“It’s one of the top dance schools in the country, only behind performing arts universities.”
“Oh. Nice.”
Y/N attempts to shake away his ignorance, head cocking to look down at the male laying at her side. “And you? What are you majoring in?”
And Harry doesn’t really mean it, but it comes out without him even realizing it. It’s just— no one’s asked him that in years, but only because where he’s from, everybody knows he was the top hockey player in the city, number five in the state. Nobody ever expected Harry to go to school to study anything because it was always known that he’d go for hockey. 
So, he snorts. He actually, physically snorts, and the look of apparent disgust is immediately clear on Y/N’s face. Parting his lips, he instantly wishes he can take it back, especially when she straightens her posture to sit up a bit higher.
“I’m sorry, I— I’m here for hockey,” Harry flounders, sitting up on his elbows. “I have a hockey scholarship.”
“And was I supposed to know that?” Y/N fires back with narrowed eyes. He shakes his head. 
“No, of course not.”
“Right,” she says, standing from the shady oasis and brushing her hands over her bum to get any grass off of it, “Let’s finish this.”
. . . 
Harry was wrong about Y/N.
He thought she was shy and quiet, maybe a bit mousy if anything. But no— it turns out, in the few hours that he’s known Y/N, if she doesn’t have a taste for someone, she’ll make it known. It’s not even in outwardly mean ways, it’s just passive aggressive, like dismissive hums at his every attempt at conversation, or him pointing out the ballet studio on their walk through the campus center. He even says “oh, wow, it looks beautiful,” hoping to pet at the excited, passionate part of her personality, but instead, she ignores him. 
She ignores him.
So when they finally finish the stupid scavenger hunt, Harry couldn’t be more eager to be done with it. He tells her he’ll submit the papers to their orientation leader so she can go fuck off and find whatever friends she’s made, and she does, without even a bit of arguing. It makes Harry sigh as he’s walking back to the big barbecue event in the quad. He feels bad for his cocky response — he didn’t even mean it, and it came off so arrogantly that she would probably forever associate him with it until they went their separate ways. 
He has a hockey thing tonight — the rest of the team that aren’t first-years are already back on campus, practicing and gearing up for the start of the season, so the coach invited him to come meet everyone — but he can’t shake how shitty he feels about someone already hating him. He decides he’ll offer an olive branch of cheese fries (he opts out of a burger or hot dog, just in case she’s vegetarian). He spots her sitting at a table in the same shady spot they were in earlier, two other girls by her side as they chat. From here, she looks happy, engaged in casual conversation with people she could’ve met today or known for years — he really can’t tell.
When he makes it over to their table, he expects Y/N to at least look up at him, some sort of recognition in her expression, but instead she just looks… confused? Bored?
“Hey,” Harry greets awkwardly, feeling that their conversation immediately took a pause due to his presence. He places the cheese fries down on the table. “I’m sorry again about today. I don’t want that to be your first impression of me.”
Based on her demeanor, he doesn’t expect a gracious response; if anything, a lackluster “it’s fine” would have sufficed. But instead, her eyebrow quirks and she cocks her head to the side. 
“I’m sorry. Do I know you?”
It hits Harry in the gut. 
He flounders, his lips parting open and closed like a fish gasping for air. He collects himself a moment later, pressing his mouth into a tight line. 
“You’re right. Must have confused you with someone else,” he replies with a clenched jaw. “Enjoy the fries anyway.”
His legs quickly carry him far away from the table and in the direction of the hockey arena and locker room. He hopes he can pull some skates on and at least shoot around a little, because if he ever has to see that girl’s face again, she’ll have hell to pay.
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peaches-and-lillies · 2 years
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while studying clothes and anatomy, I made these. I like how these turned out so I might make more :)
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roanniom · 11 months
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Just saw a video of jason momoa casually taking a scrunchie of his hand and tie his hair and while he dit it his shirt rode up and ughhh I'm thinking just hanging out w eddie and he does that like nothing and r mind just *blanks* *head empty just impure thots*
Ohhhhh anon.
Playing
Best friend!Eddie Munson x fem!reader
You know me and Eddie’s slutty little waist. I’m imagining you’re Eddie’s best friend, but that you’re actually the one who out-raunches him. Like you’re always cat calling him when he does that or slapping him on the ass when he bends down.
He always rolls his eyes and gives you his middle finger but then one day, as he’s putting his hair up and your eyes hone in on his exposed happy trail like clockwork, corners of your mouth curling lasciviously, Eddie snaps.
“You gonna actually put some bite behind that bark? Huh?” His eyebrow is raised in a challenge and your eyes widen.
“I didn’t say any—,”
“Save it, sweetheart,” he interrupts you with a roll of his eyes. “You’re always saying something. You’re always fucking with me.”
You let out a snort in response.
“I don’t dish anything you can’t take. Anything you don’t throw right back at me,” you challenge. Eddie’s face darkens.
“I don’t play with you the way you play with me.”
You get up and saunter over to his fridge to grab a beer.
“Alright, Eds. Whatever you say…”
As you grab the bottle, Eddie’s beside you, slamming the fridge door closed and pushing you up against it. You look up at him in surprise, your free hand flying to curl around his bicep.
“What the fuck are you—?”
Eddie plucks the beer from your hand, reaching over and cracking it against the counter edge so the cap goes flying. You feel a little chill from the spray of beer that comes from the aggressive action but your eyes don’t leave his face. He takes a deep gulp, allowing your eyes to take in the heavy swallow visible in his throat. Finishing the gulp, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before placing it at your waist.
“I’m doing what you literally did to me. On Friday.”
Shit. He’s right and you know it. You’d been slightly less aggressive with it, of course, but you had indeed pushed him up against the fridge and taken his beer from him. Going so far as to slip your finger into the band of his boxers where they peaked out from his jeans.
You had laughed at the way he’d frozen. You’d flounced back to the couch, not thinking twice about it.
But being on the other side of the same action had floored you. Eddie is right. He never played with you as intensely as you play with him. Feeling him large and heavy against you this time makes you feel things you’ve never felt before, your chest rising and falling as you watch him take another sip of beer.
You blink up at him dumbly. Eddie decides he likes this version of you. In spite of himself, he does love your bratty, antagonistic side of course, but this? Having you quiet and wide eyed and clinging to him? He’d happily take more of it.
Eddie leans forward till his cold lips are pressed to your ear, blowing hot air with every breath.
“Just what I thought. No bite.” After he says it, his teeth close gently around your ear lobe, sucking it into his mouth and making your entire body shiver. When he pulls away to look at you, you still say nothing and he chuckles. “Not even any bark this time, princess? Shame.”
He turns on his heel to return to the couch, fully at his leisure. Leaving you still reeling and leaning against the fridge trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.
~*~
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sapphire-writes · 9 months
Text
Girl In The Bar (modern hospital AU)
Do No Harm part 1 || masterlist || next part
pairing: doctor!Aemond Targaryen x doctor!Reader
summary: Your internship begins at Citadel General Hospital. But your first day does not go according to plan as a familiar face appears.
word count: 4.3k
note: here we go! my little celebration piece, the beginning of a new AU/mini-series! thank you so so much for all the love and support ❤️
warnings below the cut!
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warnings: medical terminology, stitches/sutures, mentions of blood, concussions, nausea, referencing spicy times but nothing explicit in this chapter
disclaimer: yall, I am not a doctor, I am simply a Grey's Anatomy stan. If something is off or incorrect please just suspend your disbelief! I am trying my best to make it as accurate as possible but its just for fun!!
dividers by the lovely @firefly-graphics
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You’d been preparing for this. That’s what you keep telling yourself as you stand outside the doors of Citadel General Hospital. Four grueling years of med school weren’t for nothing. Your heart beats steadily, only slightly quicker than usual as you take a deep breath to steady yourself. 
You can’t help but stare up at the large building in front of you, watching the sunlight reflect off of the many windows, obscuring the view of the occupants inside.
“Are you going in?” a girl says sliding up beside you, curly brown hair flowing freely around her face. She gives you a crooked smile, tilting her chin to signal you inside. There’s a faded scar across the bridge of her nose along with a dusting of freckles. 
“Can’t believe it’s the first day,” she sighs as the doors open and you follow her inside, “We met at the intern mixer briefly.”
The mixer was held a few weeks ago. You'd met most of the other medical interns and gotten a tour of the hospital. CGH is massive; it’ll take time to learn the lay of the land. You follow her down the hall towards the intern locker rooms. Scrubs wait for you and you hurriedly begin to change into them. Nettles scoops her hair into a large bun on top of her head, wrapping a scrunchie around the mess of curls. 
“Right,” you say, nodding as you remember her, “It’s Annette, right?”
“Nettles,” she corrects, “Family nickname. Though from what I’ve heard, they barely refer to us by our first names.”
“That’s correct,” a guy says, throwing on his scrub top, “Be prepared to change your name to whatever your last name is.”
The guy glances at you, cheeks flushing. He rubs his dark curls out of his eyes, adjusting his light blue scrub top before extending his hand for you to shake.
“Jace Velaryon,” he introduces, squeezing your hand, “Or just Velaryon I guess.”
“Do you know who your resident is yet?” you ask, just as a woman in dark blue scrubs enters the room. Her red hair is held behind a scrub cap decorated with silver eagles. She holds a clipboard tightly in her hands, tapping a pen against the metal.
“Velaryon, Waters, Martell, Snow, and…” she pauses, before reading your last name, “You five. Baratheon will meet you at the nurses' station. Three minutes.” 
You hurriedly lace your sneakers as a locker from across the room slams shut. A woman with long ink-black hair elegantly plaited down her back hurries forward. 
“Thank you Dr. Arryn,” she calls, as the woman leaves the room.
Another young woman hurries from around the corner of lockers, struggling to pull her thick brown hair into a ponytail, “She didn’t say Baratheon, did she?” she asks, as her hair tie snaps. 
You reach into the pocket of your scrubs, holding out the spare you have. She smiles gratefully as she accepts it.
“Sara Snow,” she introduces, “We’re sure she said Baratheon?”
“Sure did,” the girl with the braid says, her dark eyes wide, “Cory Martell. Nice to meet you all for whatever time we have left.”
Jace chuckles nervously as Cory fiddles with her braid, taking a sudden interest in the ends of her hair.  
“What’s that mean?” Jace asks, looking at you all as you don’t respond, “Hello?”
“Ballbuster Baratheon,” Sara says with barely an audible whisper.
“Ah shit,” Nettles says, tilting her head back as she groans.
“Am I the only one who is lost?” Jace asks, “He can’t be so bad.”
Nettles only shrugs but gives you a wink before pushing forward out the door. You hurry after her, the rest of your cohort stumbling not far behind. The nurses’ station is bustling with people; the phones ringing continuously. 
Cory stands up straighter, flipping her braid over her shoulder. 
“Do you see him?” Jace asks, looking down the hallway.
“See who?” a doctor comments, eyeing Jace carefully. 
She’s wearing similar blue scrubs and holding a clipboard, black hair cut bluntly at her chin. 
“Dr. Baratheon,” Jace comments, still looking off in the distance, “Heard he’s a hard ass.”
The doctor raises an eyebrow at him, fire in her cobalt blue eyes. She wets her lips, before folding her arms in front of her, holding her clipboard against her stomach. 
“Very interesting Dr. Velaryon, assuming the scary resident is a man,” the doctor comments, flipping through her charts.
Jace’s face turns beet red, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Sara glances at him, a pitying look on her face whilst Nettles attempts to hide her snicker with a cough. You elbow her slightly in the ribs and her eyes widen in feigned shock. 
“I didn’t—” Jace begins to ramble before being cut off.
“I didn’t ask,” Dr. Baratheon says, waving him off, “I’m Dr. Maris Baratheon, you may call me Dr. Baratheon. Not Maris, not Mari, not Baratheon. Is that understood?”
You all nod eagerly, mumbling your agreement, Jace looking rather pained.
“You’re interns,” Maris says, deep blue eyes scanning over you, “Runts—bottom of the food chain. Extensions of me-but don’t get in my way. When I move, you move. You will observe, you will listen and you will learn.”
She lets her gaze fall on each of you as she speaks, her tone not very friendly.
“You are my interns. My responsibility. You fuck up, it falls back on me,” she says, pointing her finger at each of you, “Do you think I like fucking up?”
“No ma’am,” Jace says, shaking his head back and forth. 
“Correct,” Dr. Baratheon says. 
The pager strapped to her waist beeps frantically and she glances down, before nodding; more to herself than to all of you. 
“Let’s move people,” she says, moving down the hallway.
You all begin shuffling behind her, quickening your pace to match the urgency of her walk. 
“I’m an idiot,” Jace says miserably, “She’s going to hate me forever.”
“Probably,” Nettles says with a snicker.
“She won’t hate you, she’ll understand you’re learning,” Sara insists.
“Oh yeah, she seems super understanding,” Cory agrees, but one glance at her reveals her sarcasm. 
Dr. Baratheon stops outside a room before turning back to the lot of you. You all nearly collide with each other trying to stop in time; Jace slams into Sara’s back and she pushes him with her shoulder. Cory reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small notepad and pen. 
“Who has been prepping my charts?” Dr. Baratheon asks, rolling her eyes at your scrambling. Your hand shoots into the air along with the rest of your cohort, “Good, you’re not entirely useless.” 
Dr. Baratheon opens the door, walking inside the airy hospital room. The windows are large, letting in rays of sunlight along with a beautiful view of the Honeywine River. It’s a clear day today, the blue water ripples and sparkles as some boats make their way further down the mouth of the river. 
“Come on in,” Dr. Baratheon insists, “Someone tell me what’s been going on.”
A girl sits on the hospital bed, tubes, and wires twisting away from her, a stuffed lion held tightly in her small arms. Her golden hair lays flat against her head and though her skin is pale, she smiles when Dr. Baratheon enters the room. A woman you assume to be her mother sits beside her, looking tired as she holds a cup of ice. 
“Cerelle Lannister, nine-year-old female,” Nettles begins, lacing her hands behind her back and straightening her shoulders, “Admitted while complaining of fever and muscle spasms localized to the lower body.”
“Thank you, Dr. Waters,” Dr. Baratheon says, walking to check the chart at the foot of her bed, “How are we feeling this morning Cece?”
Dr. Baratheon’s voice changes as she talks to Cece; it takes on a more caring, comforting tone. Cece smiles nervously, turning her flushed face to her mother. 
“She’s okay,” her mother answers, “The spasms seem to be about the same. Nurses said her fever broke last night.” 
“I’ve eaten so much ice, my tongue is numb,” Cece says, sticking her tongue out, “See? I bet it's blue.”
Sara giggles at the action and you can’t help but smile too. You hate seeing such a young kid in the hospital, it makes your chest tighten. 
“No blue tongue. But I guess you’re not interested in ice cream for dessert later?” Dr. Baratheon teases. 
Cece’s eyes widen and she shakes her head vigorously.
“Let’s not talk crazy now,” she squeaks, “I am always interested in ice cream.”
“Just making sure,” Dr. Baratheon says, cracking her first smile of the day, “Dr. Snow, how would you proceed?”
Sara stiffens at the sound of her name, clearing her throat. 
“Muscle spasms can indicate an overuse of the muscle or perhaps an electrolyte imbalance,” Sara begins, as though reciting from a textbook, “I would make sure she’s getting enough fluids and rest, get some labs done to confirm.”
“And after that?”
“Potentially a CT scan and MRI to rule out any potential nerve damage that may be contributing to the spasms.”
“What about the fever?”
“Fever is an immune response that indicates potential infection,” Cory interrupts, “We want to rule out a viral or bacterial infection.”
“Which first?”
“Rule out the infection first,” you interject, causing Dr. Baratheon to turn to you, “More likely bacterial than viral. Ms. Lannister doesn’t have symptoms.”
“Alright, yes,” Dr. Baratheon agrees, “What should we do if we think it's bacterial?”
“Gather a culture,” you continue, “Skin, nose, saliva. Run labs for those as well to rule them out.”
“Well Cece,” Dr. Baratheon says, turning back to the child, “You’ve got a competent group of doctors caring for you. We’re going to do our best to get you better.”
Mrs. Lannister squeezes her daughter's hand. Cece smiles shyly, holding her stuffed lion closer to her chest. 
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You stand in line for lunch in the bustling cafeteria. Quick lunch, and then off to run for labs for Cerelle Lannister. Different options are laid out in front of you as you drag your tray alongside Jace’s. He’s still moping-- has been all morning. Sara rolls her eyes at him as he drops a banana onto his plate.
“You need to chill,” she tells him, reaching for a turkey club. 
“How do I come back from this?” Jace asks, reaching for a cup. He moves to the soda machine, choosing to fill it with cherry coke, “She wants me dead.”
“You’re so dramatic,” you tell him, fighting a smile.
“I’m serious!” he says, eyes wide, “She could make or break my entire career based on this slip-up, put me in the pit for the year.”
You decide on a chicken Caesar wrap before scanning the cafeteria for a free table. You spot Nettles a few tables away, leaning back in her chair and munching on a bag of potato chips. She waves you over and you motion to your colleagues to follow. 
“So you’ll do the time, pay your dues, all that jazz,” you console Jace.
“Yeah, but--shit!” Jace yelps as you reach the table, his cup falling to the floor. Reddish brown liquid blooms on the white floor and Jace groans, “This day keeps getting worse.”
“C’mon, let’s get some paper towels,” Sara says, putting her tray down and grabbing Jace’s arm.
Nettles watches them walk away, unmoving from her spot as you take the seat beside her. 
“What a drama queen,” Nettles comments.
“I mean, if I pissed off Ballbuster Baratheon, I’d be pretty upset too,” you tell her, giving a sympathetic smile.
“You’re too smart to make that mistake,” Nettles comments, and a pleasant prideful feeling lodges in your chest. 
You smile at her.
“Thanks,” you tell Nettles and she shrugs.
“Just being truthful,” she says, “I briefed everyone before we started. You’re rather impressive.”
“You briefed everyone?”
“I like to know who I’ll be working with,” she says nonchalantly. 
You nod, impressed by her dedication. You take a bite of your wrap, wincing slightly at the soggy texture of the lettuce. It’s edible. You doubt you’ll have anything to complain about when the hospital is working you into the ground. Your eyes scan the cafeteria as you chew, taking in the other doctors in the cafeteria. 
Your eyes drift over to a pair of residents near the vending machine; a man and a woman both with strikingly platinum blonde hair. The taller of the two has it pulled away from his chiseled face and into a low bun. As he turns your heart drops into your stomach. 
“Shit,” you whisper, feeling the blood drain from your face. 
“What?” Nettles asks, examining her half-eaten sandwich, “I mean it's bad, but not that bad. They have hot dogs on Fridays.”
“Not the food,” you explain, “The doctor.” 
Nettles follows your gaze toward Aemond as he’s lost in conversation with the other resident. Her eyes flicker between you two, eyebrows raising to her hairline. 
“You know him?”
“Know who?” Cory asks as she arrives, sitting in the empty chair beside you, “This food looks nasty…”
“I need to go,” you tell them, standing with your tray, “I need to--” It’s too late when you realize you’d stepped right into the spilled soda, your feet going out from under you.
You drop onto your back with a loud thud, head smacking against the linoleum floor.
“Fuck! Are you okay?” Nettles asks, crouching beside you. You blink rapidly, stars in your vision from the impact, “Shit, Y/N you’re bleeding don’t move! Head injury, you could have internal bleeding-”
“I’m okay,” you insist, trying to sit up, “I’m just….woah.” A wave of nausea rolls through you and you lean back against the ground, “Maybe I do just need a moment.”
Your vision blurs but you can see his lean silhouette in the distance. Through your haze, you swear you see his body language change, his posture stiffen, and your lunch lurches in your stomach. 
“You’re concussed,” Jace insists crouching beside you, “Don’t move. You’ve cut your head too…”
“My head?” you ask, bringing a hand to your temple, feeling wetness on your palm, “Fucking hell.”
You’re staring blankly at the ceiling, mortification settling in your bones as your colleagues chatter around you. 
“What is going on?” Dr. Baratheon’s voice echoes through the cafeteria, “Y/L/N?”
“Yes Dr. B?” you mumble, earning a chuckle from Cory.
“I’m going to let that one slide because you’re likely concussed,” Dr. Baratheon says, “Velaryon, Waters, get her to a bed.” She grumbles, moving on with Cory and Nettles, “I’d like to keep my interns in one piece please.”
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The night before the first day of your internship you couldn’t sleep. Call it nerves, call it excitement, one thing was for sure; there was no way you were finding sleep at a reasonable hour. So you decided to grab a drink. Something to calm your nerves. 
Just a few blocks from your studio apartment was a small hole-in-the-wall bar, the Dragon’s Den. One drink to calm your nerves, that’s all you needed. You’d sat at the bar alone for a while, sipping your wine and reading yet another smutty romance on your Kindle.
You’d noticed him come in, of course. It was hard not to notice him. 
He was truly beautiful; with striking platinum hair braided away from his face and down his back. Chiseled jawline, long straight nose, and those eyes. One violet, one blue, watching you from across the room. Your cheeks warmed as you buried your nose back into your book.
He’d caught you staring. 
He’d joined you at the bar; slightly awkward, but confident enough to strike up a conversation with you. Ask what you were drinking. He was so close you could feel the heat radiating from his body, and count the veins winding their way up the back of his hands.
“You’re a long way from Riverlands,” you’d commented as he’d told you where he was from.
“My sister dragged me out,” he’d told you, “I’ve just recently moved back here, to be closer to family.”
“I have a new job starting tomorrow,” you’d told him, causing him to raise an eyebrow at you.
“Congratulations,” he’d said, smiling as though he genuinely was happy for the stranger he met at the bar.
He’d bought you a drink, saddled up next to you. Listened intently as you spoke to him about your hobbies, your interests. Watching you the entire time with intense focus. 
“I don’t normally do this,” he’d insisted as you pulled him towards you outside the bar.
“Me either,” you agreed. It didn’t matter if it was true or not; it's what people say when they make reckless decisions. 
Fingers fisting into his button-down shirt, you’d pressed your lips eagerly against his. You hadn’t been kissed like this in forever. Hadn’t been touched like this, been fucked like this. 
You’d brought him home, walking the short distance hand in hand taking breaks in between for him to press you against the brick walls of the buildings you passed, let you wrap your legs around his waist as he kissed the life out of you. 
You’d stumbled into your apartment desperately peeling the clothes from your body and his. Greedy hands, greedy mouths, and lipstick smeared across his cheeks and chest. Fingers, tongue, a combination of the two, and then his cock splitting you in half, pounding you into the mattress. 
He’d made you cum five times. 
Five times, during a one-night stand. You could barely feel your legs as you drifted off to sleep. 
You’d woken early the following day, stumbling out of bed and into your small kitchenette as the lanky stranger gathered his things. 
“Aemond,” he’d told you, with a shy grin as he entered his number into your phone.
How anyone could be shy after that bedroom performance was beyond you. 
“I’ll text you,” you’d promised him, as he opened the door.
“Have a great first day.”
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Somehow, Jace and Sara get you to a bed, secluded with some curtains. You can’t believe he’s here. He’s a resident. In every hospital possible, it had to be this one. By the looks of it, he wasn’t expecting to see you as well.
The curtain opens and an attending enters the small bedside area, flipping through the papers on his clipboard. Dark hair and eyes he glances up at you, a small smile on his lips. 
“Not every day an intern lands in a hospital bed,” he comments, ushering you forward. 
You sit up, groaning slightly at the throbbing in your head. 
“Didn’t do it on purpose,” you grumble, and he flashes you a grin. 
“Follow the light,” he softly commands, clicking his penlight and moving it in front of your face.
You blink, but obey; following the bright light. 
“Good,” he murmurs, “Now follow my finger.” He does the same motion with his finger, “Pupils look good, any pain?”
“Just where I hit,” you tell him, “Will I need stitches?”
“Just a few,” he says, bringing a gloved hand to move your hair, “A small split. Bleeds a lot more than it's worth.”
“Not my first rodeo,” you tell him, as he reaches for some gauze, “You’re the neuro attending?”
“One of them,” he comments, applying some dap gauze to your wound, cleaning it gently, “I’m Dr. Cole.” 
You tell him yours and he nods, a glimmer of recognition in his eye. 
“I read your resume,” he muses, discarding the bloodied gauze, “Your thesis was very interesting.”
“Thank you,” you told him, remembering your research, “I enjoy research a lot.”
“Plenty of opportunities here,” he says, removing his gloves, “I’ll have Dr. Targareyn come stitch you up.”
Your heart leaps into your throat, “Can’t I just use some butterfly bandages?”
He shakes his head, pursing his lips.
“Don’t want to scar up that pretty face,” he comments, “Targaryen doesn’t mind, he enjoys the practice.” 
You chew on your lip as Dr. Cole leaves the room. Several moments later the curtain opens and Aemond steps forward. He’s just as beautiful as last night and your pulse quickens remembering your time spent together. 
“Hey,” you manage as Aemond clears his throat. 
Aemond stands awkwardly stiff, before moving to the stool Dr. Cole previously occupied. He doesn’t speak, just uses his long legs to pull himself closer to you. He readies a tray, grabbing a suture kit and lidocaine. You watch his tense, calculated movements before he turns to you. 
“This may sting,” he murmurs, as the tip of the needle enters your skin causing you to wince. 
The lidocaine works fast, and the area begins to tingle with numbness. Carefully disposing of the needle, Aemond grabs the suture and begins his work. You can feel his hands on you, and watch his face as he stares at his handiwork. 
He won’t meet your eyes. 
“We didn’t know,” you tell him, feeling the tugging of the sutures, “Aemond-”
“No,” he answers, “You’re right of course. No harm, no foul. But this can’t happen again. I’m your superior.”
“Superior? It’s not like you’re an attending,” you tell him. 
“No but I’m in a position of power and authority over you,” he continues, “The implications of a workplace relationship between the two of us would be an uneven distribution of power.”
“Okay, we slept together once,” you tell him, “No one’s saying we’re in a relationship-”
“Then you agree,” he counters, “We shut this down before it really starts.”
That’s not exactly what you were thinking as you reminisce about the previous night. Staring into his eyes only makes your cheeks grow hotter, a nervous sweat begins to form on your brow. 
“Is that what you want?” you ask, your heartbeat suddenly noticeable; a gentle flutter against your ribcage.
“It’s not about want,” Aemond insists, avoiding your gaze and focusing solely on his suturing, “It’s about being dutiful, and doing what’s right. What’s expected of us.”
Goodbye guy in the bar, you think to yourself, heart sinking slightly at the thought.
“Yeah, sure,” you tell him as he cuts the final stitch, “I’m not going to say anything.”
“You’re all set,” he tells you, moving to stand, “Think you can take them out on your own in a week?”
“If not, I know where to find you,” you quip.
Aemond stands next to the tray of instruments, freezing as he awkwardly glances at you sideways. His posture is tense. You let out a nervous breath at his startled reaction. The sex god you met last night is nowhere to be found. He flexes his hand before shoving it into the pocket of his white coat. 
“That was a joke,” you tell him, earning a curt nod, “One week. Got it.”
You hear the sharp voice of Dr. Baratheon call your last name before the curtain is yanked back. Her eyes find Aemond immediately, lips forming a tight pout.
“Dr. Targareyn,” she says apprehensively, as though she’s watching him very carefully. 
Aemond nods acknowledging her before she turns to you.
“How are you feeling?” she asks.
“I’m fine,” you assure her, “I have to run those labs for Cerelle Lannister-”
“Martell is covering that,” Dr. Baratheon cuts you off, “You have a head injury. I want you home for the remainder of the day.”
“Dr. Baratheon-” you insist, but she holds up her hand.
“Come back tomorrow,” Dr. Baratheon tells you and reluctantly nods. 
You suppose going home isn’t the worst idea. 
“Let’s get you an Uber,” Dr. Baratheon says.
“I can drive her,” Aemond says suddenly. His eyes are wide before he casts his gaze to the floor as if he can’t believe the words left his mouth.
You watch him carefully.
“Okay,” you tell him. 
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Aemond’s car is nice. Clean, like he just bought it. He very well might have, now that you think of it since he moved to the area so recently. The ride is silent besides the sound of the air coming through the vents. 
“Thank you,” you tell him, as he pulls up to your apartment complex.
“No drinking any alcohol,” Aemond says, still not meeting your eyes, “Make sure to get plenty of rest and monitor your symptoms. Do not feel any pressure to come back to work tomorrow if you’re not up for it.”
You nod and his gaze flickers to your face. He wets his lips, tongue darting out quickly. It might be the concussion, but you can remember how it felt. How he tasted. Fuck. 
“I got it,” you assure him, unbuckling your seatbelt.
He nods, unlocking the car doors before getting out. Aemond walks around the front of the car, opening the door for you.
“I’ll walk you up,” he insists, and you nod, taking the hand he offers. 
He remembers your unit. The entire elevator ride is full of tension as you wait to reach your floor. As you walk down the hallway. As you get to your door.
You turn to him, wanting to invite him inside if only for a cup of tea to thank him for being so kind. If only to keep him near your longer. 
But Aemond nods curtly as you unlock the door.
“Have a nice day, Dr. Y/L/N,” he says, turning on his heel and heading down the hallway. You watch him flex his fingers again, before shoving them into his pocket. 
“Goodbye Aemond,” you call, and he pauses, hand outstretched to press the elevator button.
His head dips for a brief moment before he straightens up as the elevator doors open and he disappears inside. Your heart hammers as he turns, giving you a nod once more, before the doors close obscuring him from your view. 
You exhale the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Before tucking yourself into your bed, you lean against your window which gives a view down to the front of the apartment. Clouds have gathered and fat drops of rain begin to fall, splashing onto Aemond’s car still parked below. You watch as the lights come on, but he stays idling a moment more.
Your phone vibrates. 
Reaching for it you can’t help but smile as you see the message.
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note: hope you liked it!! again, thank you thank you THANK YOU for all the love and support for my silly little stories, y'all are seriously the best for real 🥹
Series Taglist: @witches-of-discovery-a @mooncalvin @rwdkarla, @spinachtz, @arcielee, @castellomargot, @bellaisasleep, @wintrr13, @angel6776, @watercolorskyy @hogwarts1207, @gibbsgirl7, @high-on-darren-criss, @theshatteredideal, @elizarbell, @hiraethrhapsody, @helaenaluvr
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troloyunu · 2 years
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Dancing Franmaya...
[Image description: Maya is laughing as she is being dipped by Fransizka, who smiles at her. Fransizka has a black vest over a long sleeve collared white shirt. She has grey checkered pants held up by a black belt. Maya has her usual hairstyle, but in pink scrunchies. Her t-shirt has repeating pink, yellow, and blue stripes. She has a pink jean skirt and thigh high striped socks, also in pink. Around them are drawn several cartoony flowers, and a large pink heart between their faces. End ID]
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scientia-rex · 3 months
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Best Things I Have Bought
I'm not sure how successful I will be in remembering all of it, but I'll try. These have all been game-changers for me, in a variety of ways. If teen me had had access to all of these, I would have been a vastly happier person.
This one is long, so I'll put in a cut.
-outlet timers. Not having to go around and manually turn off lamps at bedtime? Amazing. I bought these but you can and should get some that have a grounded outlet with three prongs so you can attach good extension cords to them.
-famotidine. aka Pepcid, it's the safest option I currently know of for managing acid reflux. I get nauseated when I get acid reflux, so this is a necessity for me.
-T-Gel shampoo. The only one that keeps my husband's insane dandruff under control. Coal tar shampoos smell peculiar, but are totally worth it if they work. For my hair, I like anti-dandruff conditioner--I apply it to my scalp and my other conditioners to the length of my hair. After bleaching my hair, I use Olaplex 3 to prevent more severe damage; the difference is very noticeable.
-white vinegar for a laundry rinse. I get horrendous contact dermatitis and adding this in the "fabric softener" cup in my washer keeps things from making my skin burn.
-on a similar note, all Oxy laundry booster. Doesn't make my skin burn but does make stains and smells noticeably better than detergent alone.
-Aquaphor. If you have eczema, nothing helps like Aquaphor, unless it's hydrocortisone ointment (the same white petrolatum base as Aquaphor but with hydrocortisone) or a prescribed steroid.
-Bissell Stomp 'N' Go pads. I have stomped. The stain goes.
-Prune puree. A packet a day keeps the chronic constipation at bay. Less volume to consume than prune juice and, in my opinion, slightly more palatable.
-Chinotto is a bitters-based beverage that I discovered by accident really helps my chronic nausea. I've tried other brands, and San Pellegrino is definitely my favorite. Tastes weird at first, but when heavy-duty ginger ale doesn't ease it, Chinotto can. And when that doesn't work, I have Zofran (ondansetron) my doctor prescribed me for the nausea I get with migraines, and that's an effective anti-nausea agent for more than just migraines.
-"You Just Need to Lose Weight (And 19 Others Myths About Fat People)" by Aubrey Gordon.
-rolling laundry cart. Doesn't have to be this one but if you CAN roll your laundry to and fro from the machines, do it.
-"Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. If you Google, you can usually find a free pdf floating around.
-"The Vagina Bible," by Dr. Jen Gunter.
-satin scrunchies. Wet Brush. Terry cloth lined shower cap. AOA terry cloth hair turban (way, way better than similar ones from drugstore).
-stretchy work pants.
-bra liners. For large-chested people who tend to get sweaty underboob, this is a life-saver.
-Goo Gone.
-Dr. Scholls medicated foot powder and the Earth Therapeutics tea tree oil foot spray. The foot powder works for super long days and the spray for lighter days.
-Reflective heat pad. I use this on my car seat in the winter and I am so happy for that every single chilly morning. I've repurchased it... once or twice? now.
-Retin-A. I used to use Differin, which is adapalene, the most potent retinoid available over the counter, but the switch to prescription-only Retin-A has been very noticeable. Decreased wrinkles, clearer skin. More inclined to flake and burn but it's worth it for me.
-Red LED therapy. Near-infrared stimulates collagen production in the skin. The only other thing that really does that is retinoids. I bought the Omnilux mask, which is certainly high-end, but HotandFlashy (a YouTube content creator) did a great comparison of different masks available by specs and this was the best at the time. The difference is noticeable within days. I've tried other, lower-powered masks, but what made me make the jump to high-end was that I got the Dennis Gross red LED eye mask for crows' feet off eBay and I was like "holy shit, this is better." And Omnilux is better still. It makes sense, since they were the OG of the models that have been in dermatology clinics for a couple of decades now.
-AOA foundation has been at least as good at my TooFaced foundation, and it's like 1-2 bucks instead of 40. There are light, medium, and deep shades, each on different pages; I'm linking to light because that's what I use. The lightest shade works for me, and I'm basically translucent.
-AOA VitaGlow tinted moisturizer is absolutely my go-to for lighter coverage days.
-AOA PawPaw blending sponges. Best out there and also the cheapest.
-(do not buy any of the AOA eyeshadows. Total waste of time, zero pigment. I've tried repeatedly and they're just garbage. The highlights are generally fine though.)
-Direct acid foot peels. The calluses come off. Just don't do it when you have ANY open wound on the feet, because it's acid and will sting like hell.
-blendercleanser solid cleanser for blending sponges and brushes. Actually a) gets them clean and b) rinses out.
-PureWine wine wands. I let these puppies sit for three minutes in a glass and suddenly I can drink red wine without migraines or hangovers. Fucking miraculous.
-Dustbuster. Holy shit it's amazing for ADHD peeps. Small thing bugging you? Can't get yourself to bust out the "real" vacuum? USE THIS.
-Crocs. Don't @ me. I wear a black pair around the house and for garden chores and they make my feet happy. Salonpas patches and/or BenGay for a topical when you're sore--topicals are great pain relief.
-Vibrating neck pillow. Don't need it right now? Wait until your next head cold. Vibration clears sinuses.
-PooPourri. I love not having to smell poop. This, and similar products, work pretty well by trapping scent particles in the oil layer instead of letting them evaporate into the air.
-Electric snow thrower. I can't manage a large, heavy snow blower and I don't want to deal with a gas engine. This little guy helped me clear my large driveway in 3-4 hours instead of 12.
-The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, by Carl Sagan.
-Handheld home IPL for hair removal. I ordered this exact one and I like it. You can get these on eBay or Amazon for cheaper sometimes; just make sure you PROTECT YOUR EYES during flashes. Targets pigment in the hair bulb so lighter skin and darker hair work better, and deeper skin tones may burn.
-Lanolin chapstick. Makes all other chapsticks I've used look like garbage.
-Steam eye masks. ShopMissA sells these and you can find them on a lot sites; shouldn't cost more than about a dollar per mask. I ended up buying an electric eye mask because I wanted to treat my dry eye and that just felt more environmentally responsible, but I love falling asleep with these on and I can't do that with my plug-in mask.
I think this is where I'll leave it--I've gone back quite a ways in my shopping history across multiple sites and thought about my daily routines--but if any of these problems torture you, these are my suggestions.
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