#like I need to get out of the mindset of if I test negative for Covid then I’m fine but they’ve conditioned us

[kingdom-dance]

After being sick all week and working from home I’m destroyed that I actually have to GO BACK

#for the record this would never have been allowed when I was working for a school district so I’m not actually complaining #they would have made me use sick leave but still call into meetings and do do work #but here they just trusted me to wfh it’s incredible #I only complain because like any sane person I just don’t want to work but. #I’m very lucky. #also my office is like less than 10 miles from where I live so #really the only reason they said stay home is because on my Wednesday 1:1 meeting with my boss she saw me and was like “’oh you can wfh 🥹’ #so I don’t alarm my coworkers which mood because I was honestly DEATHLY ILL this week no faking #like real full fledged flu #and didn’t realize #I’m still not 100% like I still get winded and can’t finish a normal meal I typically could #but yeah I’m just saying I’m bitching but I’m actually very luck and in a much better place work wise than I was before #I just can’t believe I even suggested come in this past week I would have given everyone the bubonic plague only #like I need to get out of the mindset of if I test negative for Covid then I’m fine but they’ve conditioned us #I forgot the full on flu can also kill people and at the very least incapacitate them for a week

[heavenangelly]

Make manifesting fun for you

Manifesting is meant to be fun. You’re meant to enjoy it and have a carefree attitude towards it. You’re not meant to cr¥ and scre@m and become d€pre$$ed and d€$per@te because of manifesting. That’s not the Law.

I want manifestation to be fun again for you guys. I want you to effortlessly get your manifestations and literally never be on tumblr / twitter or any social media because of how much you’re enjoying life and being a master manifester.

Here’s how to make manifestation fun again:

- Do methods. Methods are quite controversial in this community and you most definitely do not have to do them if you don’t want to, but you can if you do want to. Types of methods consist of: daydreaming/visualisation, vaunting, bragging, scripting, affirming, subliminals, placebos, lullaby, SATS, vision boards, Pinterest, etc. pick which one resonates with you the most and stick with it. An important thing to note though, is that it’s not the method that manifests, it’s YOU and your ACCEPTANCE of the desire/wish fulfilled.

- Work on your mindset/self concept. I’m going to flat out say this is important. It helps tremendously. I used to hate having to do it but once I did, it made manifestation WAYYYY easier. And it’s not a process although popular belief says it is. It’s just a decision to no longer be who you want to be and then sustaining/continue being who you do want to be / the mindset you want to have. It’s that easy. You don’t even need to think about it. Now this will help you because you no longer think you’re a v1ct1m and manifestation becomes more natural and easy, therefore making it carefree and chill and removing the desperate need for something because you’re secure in your abilities that it’s already yours.

- Make challenges for yourself. Make 2 day challenges where you live in the end for those days, with whatever rules you want and doing whatever you want to do. You can say that today you will manifest 2 desires or whatever you want. Test yourself, know yourself, do whatever you want to. Do not be hard on yourself if you do not complete it. Just try again with a new and more determined mindset.

- Experiment with the law. Like I said above, get to know what works with you. Build your confidence in yourself and the law. Manifest a butterfly following you around, do whatever you want. The law is fun and personal. Manifest “illogical and impossible” things.

- Attitude. Now this kind of ties in with mindset/self concept but I recommend having a positive attitude towards manifestation. Obviously whatever you assume to be true is true, so use that to your advantage. Look at the law is a new light, in a positive one. In a lifestyle way. Don’t associate it with negative things and trying, but instead associate it with a new ch@nce at l1f€, a lifestyle, a way to be fr€€.

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to manifest xyz before any specific date or just in general put pressure on yourself. Be kind to yourself. The law is incredibly simple and literally only requires you to trust in yourself/imagination and know that you already have what you want / are what you want while being not even caring about the 3d.

Make manifestation your safe space. Make imagination your heaven. Make manifesting easy for yourself. Build new assumptions. Play around with the law. Be unique. Get off of tumblr / twitter and have fun.

Read Neville if you want, listen to Edward Art, make your own rules, have fun. The law, again, is personal. Make it your heaven, not your h€ll.

Just be and have fun.

#law of assumption #manifesting #edward art #loa #loa tumblr #loassumption #manifest #neville goddard #void state #3d #4d #imagination

[queenofcoquette]

study like elle woods

introduction:

elle woods is one of my favorite inspirations for studying. she's stylish, confident, feminine and smart all rolled into one. plus she doesn't change for anyone- when she sets her mind to a goal she's determined and pushes herself.

@ichorsuns <3

in class:

find motivation. elle had a clear goal, she wanted to go to harvard. and when she had that goal that was what she focused on and put her energy towards. to be motivated you need to know WHY you're working so hard and what you're trying to achieve.

take cute notes. not even sure if this is really an elle thin but just make note taking fun! make it look cute

dress up. ofc u don't have to dress up super fancy for class but ik that personally i enjoy wearing cute clothes and doing my hair for school. it's just fun :)

studying:

make cute flashcards. flashcards are really effective for studying, and also they're kinda fun to make.

review with a highlighter. get a pink highlighter to go over what you need to review. idk its just a cute color.

put studying into your routine. even if you have to switch locations up or study while working out, just make sure that you get time to study a little everyday.

overall mindset:

stay focused on your goals. when elle decided she wanted to go to harvard she was serious about it. she spent months studying for law school admission test!

study a little everyday. like i said earlier, spend about 15-20 minutes (whatever works for you) to review what you learned in class everyday. even if you don't have an upcoming test or quiz it's always good to do regula studying.

make meaningful conections. the best way to get information into your long term memory is connecting what your studying into your own life. i know that in the courtroom elle uses her knowledge of perm maintenance.

ignoring what people say. so many ppl thought elle was dumb and in my own life fake friends from my old school laughed & made jokes when they found out i'd gotten into ap chem at my current school. it's so easy to feed into this negativity and get caught up on other people think about you, but put your energy towards what is productive and healthy. you don't need to prove yourself to anyone because ultimately there will be people who doubt you no matter what you do.

conclusion:

overall you just need to have a goal and be determined to be like elle, while also staying true to who you are. embarrasment and failure is always on the path to success- so keep your head up and keep working hard even when things go against you. :)

#elle woods #legally blonde #that girl #that girl 2023 #coquette #it girl #healthy habits #studyblr #study motivation #study aesthetic #self improvement #queenofcoquette

[brookheimer]

these recent episodes in particular have been so endlessly heartbreaking and fascinating regarding not only how logan's abuse has manifested differently in each roy but also how the forms the abuse took as well as logan's motivation/emotion behind it varied so greatly from kid to kid. each kid is uniquely damaged, both because they're different individuals and also because the treatment they experienced wasn't uniform at all. i think kendall and shiv received the most similar treatment, just with variations based on their identities as Golden Boy and Woman (Derogatory) respectively -- i think logan's approach towards both of them was rooted in his desire for them to 'reach their full potential' in his eyes (which, again, probably means different things depending on what genitalia they have). connor, meanwhile, was subject to pure neglect. but despite the differences in the abuse experienced by kendall, shiv, and connor, one thing holds true for all of them: each one of them is obsessed with independence, be that through rebellion or self-sufficiency. they convince themselves they're over it, over needing dad's love, because they're their own people now, so everyone else can suck it. they're lying, of course, but they're trying to believe it so hard it's painful.

and then there's roman, whose abuse at logan's hands has had the opposite effect: it's nearly impossible for him to even conceive of himself as a real person with agency and value. while logan's 'tough love,' as he'd call it (although most psychologists would call it 'abuse'), towards ken and shiv was motivated by his desire to actually make them live up to their potential, and to increase their value by instilling (what he viewed as) 'positive qualities' into them, logan's 'tough love' for roman was motivated by his desire to beat the wrongness out of him. rather than trying to add anything positive or bring out the best in roman, logan's priority when dealing with roman was trying to get rid of (what he viewed as) the 'negative qualities' inherent within him. and when he couldn't, he sent him away to military school. ken and shiv were taught to live up to their respective potentials, connor had to teach himself how to live because no one else did it for him, but roman wasn't taught anything -- he was only taught how not to be. because while the others were lacking qualities logan desired, roman was innately, uniquely, entirely wrong. it wasn't a matter of making roman into the man logan wanted him to be so much as it was unmaking roman into something logan could look at without feeling sick. because roman is abnormal, unforgivably so. he's broken, fucked up. he's not made right. real people, normal people, don't act like this, feel like this. everyone else is a person and he isn't, so he doesn't count, not really. while logan shaped the identities of kendall, shiv, and even connor, all he did for roman was convince him that he's not enough of a person to have one, that all he is and all he'll ever be is Wrong.

(this got really long so the rest is under the cut!)

why did logan treat each of his children like he did, like he does?

logan manipulated kendall and shiv and tested them again and again because he saw potential in them and wanted them to prove their worth -- so, he constantly oscillated between showing them love and withholding it, hinting at acceptance before cruelly whisking it away. we see in the present that this incessant game of keep away has resulted in violent, emotional oscillation for shiv and ken, in that they are similarly constantly ping-ponging between two poles, depending on how logan treated them last. they only have two states of being: a desperate desire to win logan's approval, and a burning anger that can only be quelled by 'destroying' him entirely. right now, obviously, they're obsessively in that latter mindset, and even though they try to say it's not about logan, it sounds hollow even to themselves. then there's logan's neglect of connor -- i guess he never really saw connor as a true son, never really cared enough to love or hate him, which resulted in the connor we saw insisting he's able to subsist without love a la 4x02. connor's experience is also unique, as he's the only kid whose daddy issues stem not from logan's presence in his life but his absence from it. it's pretty opposite from shiv and kendall's experience, but clearly no healthier or easier to heal from. then there's roman, the disappointment. he's not a disappointment in the way that shiv and ken end up being, because logan didn't expect anything good from roman anyways. he's a disappointment from the get-go, before he even had the chance to become anyone -- we're told time and time again that logan's relationship with roman has always been defined been his conviction that there's something inherently wrong in his son. we don't know the origin of logan's disgust for roman, but it's not hard to imagine it has something to do with his deeply misogynistic beliefs and the fact that roman is not exactly what one thinks of when they try to picture Masculinity. he cares deeply, loves fully, and logan cannot stand it. shiv might be his daughter, but roman, roman's the girl, and somehow that's even worse than if shiv were. this distaste only strengthens as time goes on -- most of roman's issues stem from that distaste to begin with, so for a long time it's just a seemingly endless cycle of roman becoming 'worse' and logan despising him all the more for it, which, of course, leads to roman becoming even 'worse' and so on and so on. logan will never respect or like roman, will never choose him, because he thinks something is deeply, deeply wrong with him. logan's disgusted by him and uniquely cruel because of it; after all, there's a reason roman was the only one he ever hit.

this idea -- that there’s something uniquely and inherently wrong with roman, that he’s not a person the same way his siblings are, that he never has been or will be -- this exact thought is both roman's biggest fear and his strongest held belief, and the only reason that thought even exists in the first place is because logan made it the fuck up. obviously, it's not true; there's no such thing as Being Inherently Wrong And Bad, especially not for, what, showing emotion and loving your family? roman is not inherently wrong, inherently abnormal, but at this point he's so deeply convinced he is that it doesn't matter (and at this point, he's got enough issues to fill up an entire edition of the DSM, but that's due to trauma and abuse rather than some innate internal failing of his). roman desperately doesn’t want it to be true, desperately hopes no one else sees that in him, but he strongly strongly believes that everyone does anyways, and that's terrifying. that's why he's flippant, devil-may-care -- so what if i'm wrong? i don't care. fuck you. that’s why roman had such a strong reaction to kendall telling him point-blank “you’re not a real person” in ‘Too Much Birthday;’ whether or not kendall intended it to be, it was quite possibly the hardest-hitting thing he could've said at that moment. roman was on a high, albeit a painfully transparent one, and that comment brought him right back to earth — it doesn’t matter that dad’s favoring you right now, you are not a real person and you never will be. no matter what you do, you will always be broken, wrong, abnormal, incomplete.

what’s ironic is that as much as roman wants to prove that statement wrong, he is literally incapable of allowing himself to do so. he’s internalized this abnormality and wrongness so fully that he cannot bring himself to do anything at all that he feels would contradict it. it makes him feel sick, viscerally uncomfortable, like he's doing something wrong; meanwhile, it's only when he's being 'wrong' and gross and abnormal that he feels comfortable. just look at his sex life. it’s not just that he doesn’t enjoy regular sex and only gets turned on by weird shit, but that he is deeply, deeply uncomfortable and disgusted by any attempt to have sex normally, to love normally. he feels like it’s something he’s not allowed to do, someone he’s not allowed to be, and it just feels wrong wrong wrong. he’s too wrong to have right sex. he’s too wrong to have right love. his identity is wrongness. being wrong, being seen as wrong, is the only thing he understands. anything else is inconceivable. it's so ingrained into him that he can't imagine any other way of being.

roman has been so thoroughly convinced that he doesn’t count as a person, not really, that he doesn’t even realize the fact that he has agency — when it comes down to it, he only thinks of himself as someone that things are done to, not someone capable of doing things, especially not to others. he thinks he doesn’t have an impact on other people because he’s not enough of a person for his opinions or actions to matter. roman is incredibly passive in every relationship he has: someone allows him to be in their life and as long as they do, he will never actually leave of his own volition, i don’t think he fully realizes that’s something he actually has the ability to do. people just begrudgingly let him stay in their lives until they don’t anymore. he’s just there like an ugly bauble on a shelf, unmoving until someone remembers it’s there and throws it out — and he always, always expects to be thrown out. it's the other person who decides what happens to him. he doesn't decide what happens to him, much less them. he loves unconditionally because he's been taught to think he doesn't deserve it in return. the other siblings have been taught that they need to fight for it, but even that is newer to roman; he's used to loving dad without being loved in return, and the others aren't. being loved in return is a bonus.

every sibling is so incredibly broken as a result of logan’s abuse, but roman’s the only one who thinks he deserves to be. because that’s what logan taught him: he needs the wrong beaten out of him. so anything logan does is fair game, because roman is the one who provoked it. roman is the one who came out wrong. he's not a real person. why would he expect logan to treat him like one?

#ok ive looked at this too long hashtag posting it. sorry for the fucking thesis but god i've been going insane about him and all of them #roman roy #kendall roy #shiv roy #connor roy #succession #succession spoilers #logan roy #succession s4 #casey shut the fuck up about roman roy #and also succession in general really. christ you're a mess #succession meta #is that a tag i use? idk #100 #500

[sirfrogsworth]

Very personal question so I understand if you don't want to answer. Did your diagnosis feel like a relief, socially? Mine isn't the same, but on one hand I feel relieved to have an "excuse" for being so friggin tired all the time. Society can't "morally" call me weak or lazy anymore. I can actually get some of the rest I need, without people judging me as harshly for it. No one's going to smack a chemo patient and tell me to be productive at all times... I find it sad that I have to have a justification for being exhausted. Nothing's really changed besides a label, but I'm suddenly allowed to feel like shit when I wasn't before.

I have a weird relationship with my diagnosis.

CFS doesn't have a blood test. It doesn't have a genre of specialists who are trained with a specific diagnostic protocol. The only CFS specialists are doctors who took it upon themselves to learn more about the condition and then self-label as specialists. Which unfortunately means there is a high rate of CFS quacks.

To get a diagnosis you have to go to every doctor you can think of, in every specialty you can think of, and gather negative diagnoses like Pokemon. And once you have ruled everything out, you have to find a doctor that kinda/sorta knows what CFS is, and they will officially declare you have tried everything and *probably* have CFS.

And even though most people with CFS are 99.9999% sure they have CFS, there is still that anxiety in the back of our minds that can't help but doubt.

Then there is the social stigma (which is improving) where new people you encounter, doctors, and sometimes even close friends and family, will very much doubt you have the illness. They might think you are being dramatic. Or you are exaggerating. Or they will think you have depression for years and shock your brain. They will think "Well, I get tired too." Or they won't believe there is nothing you can do about it. They still have that mindset "If I had that, I could get better." Or they will think, "If I had that, I could push through it with my epic constitution and boomer work ethic."

So, honestly, I am still kind of waiting for my diagnosis in a way. Every year or so an article will drop saying "The CFS blood test is almost here!" and then no further details. That damned blood test has been coming every year for like 15 years now. It's like cold fusion.

But I will say, when something else is wrong with me and there is a definitive test or a firm diagnosis from a proper specialist—that definitely feels like a relief. I am so tired of my body manifesting medical mysteries that even when something is terribly wrong with me, if I know exactly what it is, I am almost chuffed about it.

Doctor: The blood tests came back and you have life threatening sepsis. We will need to perform surgery to remove a giant piece of your back skin.

Me: Neat!

True story. (Warning: Very gross)

When I took my sleep study nap test and they were like, "Yep, you got narcolepsy as well." I was so happy that I had a "real" illness that I could use to convince doubters I was sick. Unfortunately everyone thinks narcolepsy is just falling asleep at weird times and they don't understand it much beyond that. So that wasn't as helpful as I initially hoped.

Now that Long COVID is causing serious cases of CFS, I have noticed a few people taking it a bit more seriously. But I have two uncles who think I am weak and lazy and was just mooching off my parents for 20 years. And apparently I have been disowned from that side of the family because of it.

But if that blood test ever actually happens I will come back to this post and let you know.

I'm sorry you required a diagnosis for people to take you seriously. But I hope your treatment is successful and you can just be healthy and not have to worry about stigmas. I'm rooting for you. Get that rest and take care of yourself.

[intuitively-her]

How will April be for you?

Pile 1-(The Hierophant, 6 of wands, Queen of wands, 9 of wands, 5 of cups, Knight of pentacles rx)

You're stepping into your power this month. You will be feeling more confident. I feel like you've experienced many losses recently or you experienced a very big loss in particular. For some of you, you've lost a family member or lover; or you're no longer in contact with them. The previous month taught you a lot of lessons. You're very close to completing the end of a cycle. 1010. You're gonna go with the flow more and leave behind what doesn't serve you. Things will be moving very fast for you. You're starting to realize that you no longer need certain friends/family members around you.

Pile 2-(4 of swords rx, 6 of swords rx, 4 of wands rx, 5 of wands, 7 of wands rx, 3 of pentacles, The Moon)

You'll feel like you can't catch a break. You could struggle to work through personal issues. I heard "depression". You're gonna feel like you have to do everything on your own. You might get into arguments with others. People are gonna try to make you out to be the bad guy in situations. Your self-esteem will be low and you'll feel as if you want to give up. However, I feel like you're needing to see the bigger picture in this situation. Things aren't as bad as you think they are. Your situation WILL get better love. 💗

Pile 3-(King of swords rx, Ace of wands, 9 of cups, King of pentacles, Page of cups, 8 of wands, 6 of cups rx, The Sun)

You're gonna be in a cutthroat energy this month. You're really gonna be putting your plans into action. You could be starting a new business or you already have a business that's taking off in a new direction. You're finally going to have some stability in your life. Things will be moving very fast for you this month. That message popped up in pile 1 as well. You could be moving soon. You will literally be creating your own happiness. You're making sh*t happen!

Pile 4-(Page of pentacles, The Magician, Queen of cups, Queen of swords, The Hierophant rx, 5 of pentacles, Knight of pentacles rx)

Before, you may have been impatient with accumulating your finances or just with your life in general. Now, I feel like you've shifted your mindset and realized the power within YOU. You're starting to figure out what you really want out of life. You're standing your ground more and no longer listening to negativity. You're becoming more grounded as well. You could be testing the waters with many different jobs/skills. You will be receiving more romantic attention as well.

#tarot reading #tarot #pick a pile #paid readings #pick a card #pac #pap #pick an image

[msallurea]

Manifestation/Loa Myths I believe in

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

1. State of lack/Being in lack

Now the only reason I feel this is a myth is because there is literally no such thing as a state of lack. There have been people who have literally manifested there dream life n throughout that entire time they doubted, overthink, stressed, "wavered, etc and STILL MANIFESTED ALL THERE DESIRES! The only way you can even be in the state of lack is not being aware of it existing whether it's in imagination or in 3d. You can feel what u want to feel, act how u wanna act, be who u wanna be, why on earth are you worried about doubts n negative thoughts when if you aware you create your reality you can literally assume that doubts, wavering and overthinking makes your desires manifest faster like come on this is law of assumption not the law of being the picture perfect manifestor

2. Wavering

Like i said in the last one state of lack ain't real only way you can be in a state of lack is if your not aware of something existing whether it's in 3d or 4d which leads me to this next one which is wavering. Now yall know how much wavering can really make u stressed but I just wanna say especially for beginners WAVERING! IS! NORMAL! now is it beneficial when u do it more than accepting your power, well probably not but does that mean it will be like that all the time absolutely not. You cam literally assume that wavering makes your manifesting abilities stronger and more powerful, all it takes is one decision to change your entire life BUT all you have to do is ACCEPT AND HAVE! FAITH! IN! YOUR! POWER!! you gotta believe in yourself darling. I'm sure yall have seen very pretty ppl have there low moments but does that mean they no longer feel or know they are still very pretty or rich or privileged or whatever ABSOLUTELY NOT and sometimes when it comes down to it u really gotta look at the doubts n wavering as some haters cuz yall know a hater can't STAND TO SEE WINNERS WIN. Have your down moments if needed cru scream get mad punch shit whatever the case may be but if you understand the law of assumption n you understand that you have the power literally get your ass back up AND BE THE KING AND/OR QUEEN THAT YOU ARE

3. Manifestation is instant

Now before yall come at me just here me out 😭😭😭 as someone who use to have a issue with this I will tell u why I say this. Now we are all aware manifestation is instant in imagination because imagination creates reality but sometimes it can be a bit frustrating when you've been told u get your desire instantly n then look at 3d n see the total opposite. The purpose of methods n stuff is to remind yourself you already have what you want but please don't think that there us a such thing as a "affirming from lack, visualizing from lack, etc" if you are addressing in some way shape or form that u do have what u want whether it's past present or future, 1st 2nd or 3rd person don't matter you are well aware that that is what makes u feel kost at ease with feeling like u have what u want n that's good. The ONLY reason you aren't manifesting instantly is because you assume you can't if manifesting is nothing more then changing your mindset and persisting in desirable assumption then why on earth u think manifesting takes long, I mean eventually it will be so quick if u continually just test it out more n more you'd already be able to manifest instantly STOP WORRYING ABOUT TIME N JUST DO IT APPLY WHAT U KNOW. Do what works for u that makes u feel like manifesting is fun n easy cuz it is only as easy n fun as u make it

Conclusion

This currently all I had on my mind right now I hope this made sense n not sound contradictory since I wasn't sure how to explain some of the stuff 😭 but anyways that's all gimme more post ideas to talk about

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #msallurea #neville goddard #my blog #affirm and persist #loa

[roo-bastmoon]

Incredibly lucky to even be here

I just realized, exactly one year ago today (May 11th) I was diagnosed with endometrial stromal sarcoma and given less than a 34% chance of survival. I'm incredibly, miraculously lucky to be well and cancer-free today. I owe that to my amazing doctors, and also in a small way to BTS.

The moment I got told I had cancer, I immediately decided to only entertain thoughts of complete health and victory. It was a pure and immediate defense mechanism and I stuck to it. So no sad songs or movies or TV shows. No online drama. No negative nellies or naysayers. No stressful projects at work. No arguments, no entanglements, no regrets.

For months, I would focus only on laughter and quality time with loved ones and things that brought me joy, even as I had to deal with practical stuff like creating a will and a pet trust and filling out life insurance forms and undergoing test and surgeries.

BTS (and Jimin, as my "recruiter") gave me moments of grace and beauty and art and warmth and giggles--and kind ARMYs gave me a sense of belonging and community, especially during a dark and terrifying time, when in the quiet of the early morning hours, the sense that my own body was my worst enemy would eat at all my mental defenses. I could switch on my phone, go to the timeline, and ARMY and BTS would be there.

If I seem to be very Pollyanna-ish or boringly polite these days, it's because I decided one year ago to focus on what I want instead of giving energy to what I don't. I know bad things are very real and they need to be confronted--of course! But I also know that depression, anger, and fear can erode the myelin sheath wrapped around our nerve endings and weaken the walls in the chambers of our hearts; that toxic emotions can bleach our hair of color and rob our nails and skin of suppleness; that negativity can lengthen our immuno-response times to bruises and cuts.

So if other folks get a thrill, a hit of adrenaline, from drama and trash talking in our fandom, more power to them, I guess. It must serve them in some way I don't understand. Me? I find meanness and pettiness draining and damaging. So I'll never do that. I'll never rudely call someone out in public or go on their blog to rant or snipe openly about members or fellow ARMY. I will just keep myself to myself and do my best to be authentic and kind and hard working.

Doesn't always work. I'm human. I will absolutely make mistakes (case in point--the campaign idea yesterday that could have really harmed Jimin. I didn't think about all the consequences and I'm so grateful to the people who patiently set me straight.) Please know that if you ever feel strongly I'm going in the wrong direction, you can always speak to me--I'll ask a million questions, I'll hear you out, and I'll try to be flexible in my mindset. You don't have to hide behind throw-away accounts or talk to others about me. I will do my best to always be kind and act in good faith with everyone. (But I'll likely still make some mistakes, because my intentions are good but I myself am not perfect.)

By and large, I feel I'm just really astronomically lucky to be here. I know the kind of cancer I had is very sneaky and could come back at any time. So how I spend my time left in this life matters to me. I want to be a source of good in the world, help other people, experience bliss and celebrate good things. I don't want to be selfish or destructive. If I start to go that way, I know good friends will gently call me back.

Like BTS, I want to connect with people and help build something worthy. So if you're on board with that, let's be friends. And if you're not, let's part amicably.

I just... figured I should probably say that... out loud. So that's that on that.

Love you guys,

Roo

[m00nt4r0t]

✮ what's hidden from you? ✮

pile one, two, or three?

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile one

"what's hidden from pile one?" an opportunity has not made itself known yet. this is in regards to something you dream/fantasize about. this could be a creative opportunity or project that will kick start what's meant for you. now, don't get it twisted; just because it's meant for you, doesn't mean it's going to be extremely easy. you will go through moments of doubt, feeling defeated, and there will be people competing with you. hard work and dedication is required for this journey that is not yet in your sight. remember that the wheel is in your favor, love. you are meant for big things. you are very unique and not made to be hidden. you were made to play many different roles in the universe. you do not have just one purpose; do not think that you're going to be "stuck" doing one thing in life. you will need to learn how to manage and balance your time, energy and resources. this path is going to be bumpy, filled with ups and downs, highs and lows, goods and bads. it's essential that you balance out all aspects of life (action/rest, business/personal, romantic/platonic, saving/spending) in order to keep yourself from financial failures. you could possibly be helping others to do this in their lives, as well.

"is anything else hidden from pile one?" some form of communication is being hidden from you, this communication could be taking place online and/or among friends/groups. this could be your lover hiding something from you, or loved ones in general (friends, family). this may be something you already know deep inside, but you're doubting your intuition. i'm getting a scenario where someone may have expressed that they liked you, but a friend or someone who knows you is choosing not to tell you. or, someone may have confessed their feelings towards you anonymously online or through their friends. if you think you know who this is, but you keep doubting yourself... you're right.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile two

"what's hidden from pile two?" something about an open conflict you've had has hidden aspects to it. this could've left you doubting yourself and/or putting limitations on yourself. but that is not what this conflict is trying to teach you. instead of feeling disappointed, you should take a step back and look at the bigger picture. open your eyes to new perspectives and maybe you'll even realize that this conflict was for your own personal growth. once you start to see seemingly negative outcomes in this manner, you will water yourself into the biggest apple tree on the block. this could've had something to do with being/working in a group with the same end-goal. you could've has misaligned values or were constantly competing and talking over one another. you will realize that working alone will help you to grow in the direction you'd like to grow in. this tower moment was necessary.

"is anything else hidden from pile two?" this section feels a lot like pile one's read. your creativity is going to bring in lots of opportunities that will require hard work and responsibilities. it's best that you form a routine in order to keep yourself from burning out or losing your passion/drive. you also may not realize how charming and attractive you are in the eyes of others. you have a lot of pent up fire inside of you that wishes to be revealed. you could also have a few romantic offers that you may or may not know of during this time.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile three

"what's hidden from pile three?" some form of abundance is being currently being hidden from you at the time you are reading this. this is a test, i feel. a test to see how far you can go and how hard you will fight, or how many times you will try again if you fail. your strength may be hidden from you. you may feel as though you do not have what it takes to do something. this could also be a test on your mindset, to help you drop your lack-mentality. whenever you doubt your worth, you place blockages in your path towards progression and completion. you create new challenges for yourself whenever you continuously doubt, worry, and avoid.

"is anything else hidden from pile three?" hidden strength is coming through for pile three once again. you are doubting your intuition, doubting what you already know deep inside. you will need to get priorities in line and adapt to new ways of thinking. trust your intuition. if you pulled cards for yourself, trust the message. you are a force to be reckoned with, you need to stop doubting yourself. im sorry this message was so short, there really wasn’t much else to say. if you feel guided to pick another pile, i encourage you to do so.

thank you for reading and interacting! <3

masterlist ⭑ personal readings ⭑ patreon

#pickacard #tarotreading #pac #tarot #whats being hidden #whats hidden #whats hidden from you #whats being hidden from you #pick a pile #pac reading

[lumiidragon]

Got any dib or zim headcanons?

Or head-canons about their relationship with each other?

Here's a few I like playing with~

For Dib:

-Dib starts out as a "GET THE ALIEN! LET'S SEE HIS GUTS AND BLOOD AND THROW HIM IN A TEST TUBE FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE YES!" and slowly as he ages becomes more of a "Ok, so if Zim dies, I may loose my chance to ever be able to study an alien this close ever again. Dang, ok, so I'll just make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble, but oh boy are people gonna be surprised when I can show them a real alien AND give them all sorts of information and be known as the 'Alien Expert'!" So he moves from wanting Zim recklessly exposed to trying to learn all he can and more easily show the truth in a way that won't get him silenced by the "men in black" and Zim snatched away never to be seen again.

-Dib is autistic (but I feel like this has to be canon to some degree lol).

-Dib would be a lot worse off mentally and emotionally if he had never met Zim.

-Dib turned into Zim's school bully out of unintended mirroring from how the other kids treated him before Zim arrived. He never meant to become such a person and hasn't even realized it, but this behavior tames over time as he ages.

For Zim:

-Zim is not going to process negative emotions properly thanks to how junked up his PAK is. You can also sit and try to tear his spirit down as much as you want and it either A) won't effect him at all or he'll just shrug it off B) not let it bother him for long and will probably forget all about it C) won't even realize you're trying to break him down.

-Zim get's "PAK glitches" which is what causes him to yell his name or other random things at random times. This also causes him to become scatter-brained, unreasonably violent, or just erratic. He doesn't even know or understand when these happen and most, if not everyone around him just brushes it off as it "just being Zim".

-Zim gets paranoid over random things in a strong manner at times and cannot rationalize it. This paranoia is often over things that "could hurt him" or failure and how the Tallests will react to these failures. Even if completely unjustified, it'll eat through him causing him to have to react and remedy the situation/destroy the threat, otherwise, he'll become too distracted and the paranoia will continue to worsen (this one is something I suffer through, so I cope by making Zim suffer too, lol).

-Despite Irkens running off of the "Taller means more superior" mindset, Zim actually doesn't have much, if any respect for any taller Irken other than the Tallests themselves.

-Zim and other Irkens are VIOLENTLY allergic to caffeine due to their insect-like nature.

For Both

-Zim and Dib need each other in their lives more than they want to admit. Dib finally feels as though he has a purpose in life and he's the proof he needed, not for others or his father to see, but for him to see for himself as well. Zim re-lit the fire in Dib's passion for the paranormal.

-Zim sometimes breaks into Dib's house (or gets permission from Professor Membrane) for sleepovers. This is often spent arguing, spitting insults at each other, and eating popcorn while watching ghost and paranormal video's on Dib's laptop while they both analyze the "good" ones and taunt the stupid ones.

-They laugh at each other's misery when they cause it, but Zim nor Dib laugh along with the other skool kids when they bully one or the other. The never step in to help, but they don't add to it, either.

-The most petty thing Dib has ever done is chase Zim with a laser pointer after discovering that the Irken is terrified of them.

(Do not tag as ship.)

#invader zim #zim #dib

[weirdmageddon]

i’ve noticed this in more than one post: many people take posts that talk about how uncomfortable self-deprecation is as a personal affront and get wildly defensive and proud(?) about being self-deprecating. just look at the notes on these posts. why do people vehemently INSIST on being self-deprecating even after they’ve been told why it’s uncomfortable, that it kills the vibe, why it’s an unhealthy mindset in the long run, and people’s personal stories? i’m sorry that’s a weird as fuck thing to cling to.

see, here’s the issue: it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. if you believe you’re “heckin trash” and don’t want to change that view of yourself to accomodate for others, people are going to think you’re a total bummer and not want to be around you, thus giving you an actual reason to believe you’re “heckin trash” because nobody wants to hang out with you and your vibe-harshing attitude.

there’s respectable humility, and then there’s offputting self-deprecation. humility that commands respect is not outright said. it is implied through the way one carries oneself.

humility is the opposite of arrogance. having humility simply means you don’t think of yourself as necessarily better than anyone else; it makes others feel like they are valued around you. c.s. lewis said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.”

self-deprecation ironically horseshoes back around to arrogance (especially when people defend their own self-deprecating tendencies) since you are thinking about yourself again. unlike humility, but similar to arrogance, it assumes that you are uneven with others. self-deprecation isn't just stating your own grievances, it's also stuff like making negative judgements about your traits or turning down compliments. how is that not uncomfortable for everyone else when you criticize a trait they also have, or doubt the sincerity of their compliments? the focus has come back to the self and not the other. this is why self-deprecation gets so uncomfortable. you’re not making people around you feel like a valued equal. you’re making it about yourself. and when you reject people’s objective comments and feedback that you are good because you personally don’t feel that way, that’s not humility. you’re actively making people feel unvalued and driving them away.

like have you ever tried to tell someone they’re not worthless/bad/negative thing, and ever felt how uncomfortable it is when they can’t take the compliment even when you mean it from the bottom of your heart because it doesn’t align with how they see themself? doesn’t that feel invalidating? like you just wasted your time with this person? but when someone says, “OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!” it feels so, SO affirming of your sentiment. that’s not being arrogant. i always have this perspective in mind. that’s why i say thank you to compliments and sometimes go the extra mile to explain what that comment meant to me if applicable (i.e. “thank you so much, i worked really hard on it..[bla bla bla maybe a struggling situation from my pov but said a way that doesn’t demean myself], so this comment seriously means a lot to me”) so that the other person feels further affirmed and validated.

people say to do the opposite when they feel like deprecating themselves, to self-aggrandize (“i failed my test i am so sexy etc”), but, while it’s okay sometimes, that’s just as annoying in excess. people need to realize that you can have humility without self-deprecating yourself at every turn. i think the first step is to remove yourself as a subject from the equation. because again, “humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less”. instead of going, “i’m so stupid” as though you at your core are an oaf and failure of a human being, you can contextualize it in terms of a temporarily blunder that has no bearing on you as a subject, i.e. “that was stupid of me”. and this is actually a more objective lens. but don’t keep it on yourself. learn and then just Move On. make your negative value judgments of yourself temporary and contextualized. if you can’t contextualize it to some external effect in this way then it’s not worth talking about and ruining everybody’s parade over.

tldr; bitches will be like “im heckin trash lol” and i’ll be like “thats lame nobodys gonna want to hang out with you if you talk like that. stop being self-deprecating it kills the vibe. have some dignity”, then bitches reply “no” and later down the line are surprised when nobody wants to be around them. just put an end to the cycle now. read people’s stories about how stopping self-deprecating humor and thoughts made them and the people around them happier. humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less. self-deprecation and telling everyone how trash you are and refusing to hear anything else is closer to arrogance than true humility.

#mental health #self deprecation #self deprecating humor #long post

[relastelvanni]

📖 2022

The week leading up to Christmas 2021, I was unwell. I was feeling very fatigued and burnt out as we all were. There wasn’t a lot of sun so I was likely Vitamin D deficient, right? Also I somehow lost 10 lbs between October and December without trying which didn’t match what I was eating - probably stress? Oh, but I feel really thirsty, and I can’t seem to quench it… that’s an odd symptom I can’t explain with burnout. It was that symptom that made me test my fasting blood sugars and sure enough, they were way over into diabetic levels.

🚨

On Hogmanay as I rushed to get my booster before the bells, I also went to the GP as an emergency for my blood test. The results came back and my GP wanted to talk urgently. On Jan 5th I was officially diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and put onto metformin straight away. This began a whirlwind of a year.

On the outside I seemed calm, on the inside I was a ball of emotion, but mostly shame. Shame that after years of warnings this could happen, I had to tell people what had happened. I felt guilt for making people around me worry for my health. I wanted to prove to everyone that I was okay and they didn’t have to worry about me. Maybe not a healthy attitude to take but from the moment I left that Doctor’s surgery and took a 2.5 mile walk home, I decided I was going for remission, end of.

I immediately went on a low carb diet of 130g of carbs a day and stuck to it religiously, I did not break 130g or tried not to. No cheat days, no snacking. Again, perhaps not the healthiest thing to do but I couldn’t bring myself to eat high carbs again. I started walking a lot more, walking three miles home from work in the winter. I went swimming, I got a bike through the cycle to work scheme. But most of all was the diet. It was tough and there were times I felt like crying. But my head told me “I put myself in this situation, you don’t deserve sympathy”. Urgh, silly head.

But despite that negative mindset, the physical side improved quickly. My sugars fell rapidly most importantly and as a by-product, I lost 15 lbs in the first month, followed by another 15 lbs in the second, starting at 255 lbs and ending March around 210.

Now those who know me will know I had no problem with my weight before - I was very happy as a chubby person because I went on a journey over the past few years of learning to love my body, throw off the shame I held against my body and show it off at the beach and the pool etc. So the weight loss for me was such a sudden shift in mindset too. I was back very quickly to a body I had before I learned to love my body… and societal pressure came back. That’s been a struggle this year is loving my new body without need for validation externally.

But in terms of the diabetes, by the end of March, I had my hbA1c checked again… and I was no longer diabetic! I had managed, with the tablets, to get the diabetes into remission. I can’t tell you how proud I am to have got to this point. All the hard work and hardship I put my mental state through was worth the result.

Over the next three months I relaxed the diet a wee bit and let myself eat a little more, but no where near the levels I was at before. My weight finally stabilised at around 180 lbs which is where I’m at now, meaning in total from max weight, I’ve lost 85 lbs in the last year. But more importantly, at the end of June, my HbA1c was still at a non diabetic level, this time without medication.

Since June, my weight has been stable, my sugars are still down, I’ve taken up badminton 2-3 times a week to keep me active physically (and mentally too). I feel fantastic physically and I’m so happy I’ve managed to turn around the diabetes. I still need to work on my mental state and work on some of those troublesome feelings I had at the start of the year as well as others. But aye, long post, but I’m still here, still going. Hopefully 2023 I’ll stay in remission. All the best to everyone 💛

#me #gpoy #gay bear #gay cub #tummy #non binary #queer

[ecargmura]

Witch Hat Atelier Volume 4 Review

Why does this story keep getting better with each volume? Witch Hat Atelier is seriously what I consider a modern masterpiece in its own right. I can’t wait for the anime to happen. Unlike the previous volume, this one is focuses on a new arc, so I won’t be reviewing it by each chapter and it’ll be one concise review overall. This volume primarily focuses on Richeh, as she’s on the cover, but it’s also focusing on the Second Exam, where she and Agott participate alongside another apprentice. 

Richeh is someone who wants to become a witch in her own way; what I mean about that is that she wants to be ‘original’. She wants to make her own spells and not use anyone else’s because she believes that using other people’s creations is unoriginal and just a replica. One of her original spells that she shows off is the ability to make ribbons out of crystals. Unfortunately, this mindset was seen as childish from her previous mentor, which was why she left and went to study under Qifrey. The reason why she kept on pursuing her originals was because her older brother Rili loved seeing her make originals. However, Rili isn’t present in this book aside from the flashback, so I cannot be for certain if Rili is still alive, or if he still has that same mindset as before. Because Richeh wants to pursue her own originals, she’s very stubborn because of it. She had left an abusive mentor because of her clash in ideals and when Qifrey signed her up to take the Second Exam without her consent, she becomes furious, but still takes it begrudgingly. However, because she’s adamant about using other people’s magic, she actually doesn’t know a lot of other spells that can help her in times of need, like in their situation with the Brimhat.

Agott has studied under the same mentor with Richeh, but they’re totally different. Agott is willing to work hard and go beyond her capabilities just because of her status as a daughter of the Arklaum family. She works to make them proud. Unlike Richeh, she knows a plethora of magic that helps the apprentices out in tight spots, and even knows how to grab a Brimhat’s attention by saying that Coco isn’t present. She’s smart to analyze that Coco is the Brimhat’s target. However, because she’s so headstrong, it makes her an easy target to be captured; she was almost caught in the Brimhat’s trap of engraving forbidden magic onto her, but managed to escape thanks to Richeh. Since this volume focused more on Richeh, Agott wasn’t too much of a focus; hopefully, she’ll be back to importance in the next volume.

Euini is a new character introduced in this volume. He is a negative Nancy with self esteem lower than the North Pole’s temperature. He has failed the test twice, so this is his third attempt. The reason for his low confidence is due to his master Kukrow’s abusive behavior. Despite the abuse, he stays with him because he wants his master to be proud of him. This already starts the contrast between him and Richeh. Richeh left an abusive master, while Euini stayed with his. Euini’s lack of confidence also makes him unable to draw due to anxiety. He has memorized countless amounts of spells, but whenever he takes the test, he blanks out. I can relate to him at times. I did find his anxious personality annoying at first, but then I realized that he’s a rather sweet boy underneath all the baggage. He just wants to be someone his master can be proud of, but the abuse has made it so that he hates himself the most—he even said that he wants to be someone else and not himself; that’s why he thinks replicating other people’s spells are preferable rather than making one’s own. However, he does have his own instance of making his own spells as he gave them to Richeh, just in case she needs them. His shadow cloak is a very interesting spell. However, I felt bad for what happened to him towards the end of the volume. He doesn’t deserve to be engraved a forbidden spell just when he started gaining confidence. That was a serious slap in the face.

Other than the exam, with Coco, Qifrey and Tetia, their portion is more of world building and character building on Coco’s part. Coco learns her specialty, making straight lines. Her passion for magic differs from Richeh, but I do like how these two still respect each other despite their polar differences in magic. Coco’s love for magic is a big influence for those around her. It’s making Agott be nicer to her and it’s making Qifrey soften up as he realizes that magic exists to make people happy, to which he agrees with.

Then, there is also an interesting world building aspect in this volume. Where they are used to be an ancient civilization called Romonon where the ruler decided to segregate the people and classify them into her preferences. She didn’t want ugly, poor and sick people around her, so they became of the lowest class while those that didn’t fit that category flourished. Later on, the ruler then developed a strange power to turn people into gold. The magic reminds me of how Coco accidentally petrified her mother. What I’ve learned about reading about history in fantasy stories is that the stories did happen and that the protagonists would later encounter them; lo and behold, Coco, Tetia and Qifrey stumble upon the rumored gold statues. This means that the petrified people are still alive and they have been trapped in that state for countless years; this means Coco’s mother is technically alive too. That’s scary to think about.

Also, I hope Alaira is alright. She’s too hot to die this early. Anyways, I’m excited to read Volume 5 when I get the chance. I just hope Euini can be saved. I also do wonder how Coco and the others will get out of that cave. Will they defeat the Brimhat too? If you have read this volume, what are your thoughts on Witch Hat Atelier and this portion of the story?

#witch hat atelier #kamome shirahama #coco #richeh #agott #euini #tetia #qifrey #alaira #kukrow #review #manga #ecargmura #arum journal

[evaswarner]

i really need to start my healing journey so if anybody else is also in that situation where they need to heal, let me drop you some tips. :)

1. do not try to manifest anything when you are broken. i listen to subliminals/make my own and like to affirm but if you are listening/affirming when you’re in an insecure or broken mindset, you will only attract more insecurity. take care of yourself first. if you are religious, pray to God for help since praying and manifesting are different in that sense. God is always listening.

2. detox from the apps that are ruining your mental health and causing you insecurity. for me this is mainly instagram so i deleted the app and my accounts for now. i am also trying to limit my screen time altogether as much as possible, because if you grew up with parents saying “it’s all because of that damn phone” they’re actually right 😭

3. seek out things that make you happy that don’t require your phone. this can be anything from baking/cooking, sewing, crochet, reading (!!), exercising, or study for that upcoming test! (think what did rapunzel do when she was locked up in her tower for 18 years? she didn’t have a phone) if you need to use a device for help on something, use a laptop and ONLY search up that which you need on google.

4. watch self-help videos. when i was in my heartbroken era i binge watched tons and tons of thewizardliz and persephonesmind. these women know how to instantly change your mindset.

5. if you are religious, focus on getting closer to God. also when i was heartbroken, i focused on my religion a lot which was also a crucial part of my healing. i asked Him to help me heal and while doing what i also could to help myself feel better, He built me right back up in front of the very people that broke me. my confidence was literally unwavering

6. focus on your essential needs as a human. if you are not getting a full 8-9 hour sleep every night, you’re not eating healthy most of the time, not drinking enough water, you’re not exercising etc etc., fix that. if you’re lethargic and feeling crappy most of the time, this is why.

7. be kind and patient with yourself. you cannot expect yourself to heal within a set amount of time. i usually start feeling better in a month but sometimes this can take longer — and that’s more than okay! everyone has their pace of healing. don’t rush the process, otherwise you’ll end up going back to square one. shift your focus away from the end result to the process and the present moment instead.

8. journal. i absolutely love journaling, it’s the best way to get emotions out and to be able to really talk with yourself. do some shadow work to connect with and reparent your inner child, because many of the issues we have as adults occurred first in childhood. you can search up journaling and shadow work prompts to help.

9. talk to yourself as you are a best friend or a little child. would you let a friend or a child talk badly about themselves? would you tell them they’re stupid, ugly, don’t deserve anything? if you wouldn’t let a little child/friend think of themselves that way, then why do you talk to yourself that way? every time you feel insecure about something, imagine a child feeling insecure and hating themselves. you would obviously comfort them the best you can, so do the same with yourself. people think it’s “delusional” to talk to yourself but honestly? they’re the same people that think negatively of themselves and don’t even try to heal. so talk to yourself, be kind to yourself, comfort YOURSELF.

okay this is all i can think of atm, i hope it helps <3

#evasramblings #healing #self help #self love #self ship #self improvement

[infprambling]

How I relate to the cognitive function stack of INFP. part 1/??

Fi: (dominiated function: introverted feelings. Decisions on what feels right.)

I think before learning about MBTI, I didn't realized how much I find having values as something really important to me. Although I think because of my Ne, I'm naturally open to slowly changing what I know and value for several things. Which, I think there's a difference between how others see INFP as being annoyingly stubborn and defensive with their values vs. carefully but willing to change said values.

For me, it's possible for such changes, but there has to be a good reason. Including yes, evidence. Evidence from credible unbiased sources. (I wonder if that might be a shocker for some people when they think about an INFP) Like close around 85% (?) of research, would be factual evidence for me. The rest could be from what I notice most people notice/observe themselves. (which I understand many people might not see this as research. And maybe someone isn't being truthful or clouded with some kind of bias etc.) But I'm actually quite a skeptic. (not saying I know the true answer or whatever. But I make do with what I get and got to make some decisions, you know?)

It's also not uncommon for me to make connections between various types of topics to find an answer that I might be looking for. Or maybe feel like it makes sense to me. Because sometimes, I can't get the exact answer I'm looking for, or one that is close to fitting my circumstances. And... sometimes I think some of these research don't push and test or figure out things that's out of the paraments of what most people think is possible/the norm. (which i think part of it, is because one unfortunately needs to be cautious in, I guess, the intelligence/impulse of others/most in society. Better safe than sorry.)

I think having values can help ease my anxiety and stress in life. Sometimes life is confusing and overwhelming. Sometimes life can have many conflicting views, this includes (for me) being around others who might be good people, but they have very jarring (sometimes frustrating) habits of hypocritical views/actions.

I think because of Fi being the dominant function, some INFPs feel (or more like, it seems a common thing for INFPs to feel this way), lost or out of place in the world. (including me, moreso, as I get older. I'm curious how many INFPs feel the same, and how INFPs feel the reverse of this.) Having a hard time aligning their own internal personal values with ones of the external world. (which I think can lead to depression.) Particularly when it takes time to adjust and feel like, "yes, I do genuinely believe in these set of values." (that's me)

Sometimes getting lost in trying to do well by others'/society's standards. Trying to abide with two different set of values, which creates slowly builds up great stress within me. Then one day, it's a burnout and I'm wondering, "Why am I doing this? Why did I like doing this? What do I actually want?" I think there are INFPs who were really rebellious as a child/and teen? (unless maybe they felt painfully too keen on the negative emotions of others ..... And maybe didn't want to hurt/disappoint etc those people.) I was a bit to decently(?) rebellious but I think... maybe not enough. Didn't help that I used to have really bad OCD (now, just a bit but it manifests in a different way compare to the past), really no freedom, overthinking on things and cared a bit too much about what others thought (sometimes not overly so, but it's hard when communication is lacking among family and friends. And having to deal with moody people.),and was only exposed to joys that dealt more with things internally. (my mother didn't believe in hobbies and had poor handling on her mental health. My father barely had much hobbies and was often busy. My siblings were much older and periodically busy. Also different mindsets and interests. Then the family drama. My friends were mixed experiences. Although I'm grateful to the one who has stuck with me.) The internet was my gateway to so many new ideas and topics. It fed (and still most of the times) my Ne. I had to (and still have to) figure out lots of things on my own. So I don't know, maybe I'm slow to changes and understanding many things because of this.

I will stop now. I'm getting better at handling some past memories but it could still be rather difficult. Mostly as of now though, this rambling has gone long enough. Don't know, maybe I'll post about something else next time.

#infp #infp thoughts #infp life #mbti #mbti types

[blueboyluca]

Trial Preparation

As our trial season is about to start, I've been doing mental preparation. Things are going really well with training Marcie lately that I've decided to enter trials to see how we do, but this time with a different mindset and process.

I'm planning to utilise our pre run routine and our stash reinforcement cue. I also intend to better manage Marceline's time while she is waiting around, to improve her welfare.

I've found a couple of podcasts that are focused on mindset for training and trialling. They're very self-help-y, but there is some useful information amongst some of the more annoying tips.

The Q Coach Pod is all about making and achieving goals and conquering ring nerves. I found the most recent episode on mindset interesting.

The five ways to strengthen your mindset for trialling are:

Preparation – making sure everything for the trial is ready beforehand for both you and your dog

Set process goals – what does success look like for this trial?

Rituals – make sure you have a pre- and post-run ritual

Visualisation – picture your entire trial day, as well as your run

Meditation – ensure you have given yourself space to clear your mind and prepare yourself mentally

I thought these were pretty good. I have a knee jerk reaction to the word "visualisation" but I am more accepting of it if I think about it in terms of imagination instead. The advice here is really just imagine a future and be in it – I can get on board with that. I'm also not huge on meditation but I'm actually going to give it a try in the week leading up to the first trial and see if it helps.

The Q Coach also sells these dog training planners which intrigue me but I haven't bought one because I spent all that time preparing my own planner (which I am still using!).

The other podcast I've found is The Agility Challenge Podcast which recently had a two-part series on failure.

So most people will say, "Failure is something that happens to me, and then I have to experience it." And if they're not saying that out loud, they're thinking it – "Failure is something that happens to me, and then I have to experience it, I have to deal with it, that just happens, I have to sort of ride the wave." And what's really happened is that we simply missed an expectation or we didn't meet an expectation. And then we chose to make it mean something that hurts. We decide to make failure mean something that causes us to experience negative emotions. And that means that we can also decide that failure is not the end of the world, we can decide not to catastrophise failure, we can decide that failure is actually something positive. And I don't necessarily mean hearts and rainbows positive, I mean positive in the mathematical sense, additive. So we can decide that failure can be positive or additive.

This is going to be my outlook for the year. Last year each failure felt like a negative, like literally each one was moving backwards. And that was happening, but it also was helped along by my mindset. This year I'm going to try reframing any failures as positive, additions to our journey. I'm going to treat each one like a test and figure out what works and what doesn't, just like I did on my routines over the wet season.

You need to fail in order to succeed, and you're gonna have to fail a lot in order to succeed and even, really, to know what success is. And then you're going to tweak, you're going to adjust, you're going to learn what doesn't work, and you're going to repeat times 1000. And you can't learn about one without the other.

I like this reframe a lot. I'm going to be running Tulip in Masters at the first trial of the year, which I've never done before. I expect to fail! But without failing I won't be able to know what success looks like. Likewise for Marceline, I will keep trying and take all failures as notches on our belt.

I will say that I think this outlook only works if you are committed to changing things and improving. Like, last year was failure after failure because I didn't really change anything. It took me ages to figure out what needed to change to actually see improvement. So I was stuck in this sort of failure spiral downwards where I was seeing no success at all. Whereas since taking some classes and adjusting my entire training approach as well as welfare approach to my dogs, I've seen lots of success (and also some failures – in the welfare department especially, what with Luca's injury creating some strange behaviours).

I recognise that I could have made all these improvements in the last few months, then enter a trial and still see the same issues as before. I hope that all my changes will make a difference, but there is a small frightened part of me that is worried trials won't improve at all and I won't ever be able to trial Marceline sucessfully. I'm trying to deal with that by recognising it and also by choosing to enter trials anyway because the only way I'm going to find that out is by trying.

#dog training #dog agility #dogblr #podcast #Marceline