#like the sad part about editing is the fact that i can't put everything i WANT in there because. timing.

[whatthefuckisasweep]

she lost me sleep. but she is calm (and FINALLY DONE)

here is my last edit to the J&A edit trilogy i made dedicated to their ... um... whatever it is they have going on <3

hope you enjoy while i go nap or something

#jake and amir #j&a #jamir #my edit #my edits #my art #edits #audio #video #this took me AGES #like the sad part about editing is the fact that i can't put everything i WANT in there because. timing. #and limited clips that work. even if the concept is good #eyeroll #im so tired but this was worth i really like how it turned out #enjoooyyyyy #explodes into a million little pieces. #im insane for making 3 edits in the past like 2 months #cant believe i went this insane over a 15 year old webseries i want to eat dirt. #anyways. weee (falls on to my pillow) #Youtube

[ianthoni]

So today @juztscrollingthrough send me this video from 2009. 2009, the year Anthony said their friendship basically ended.

First part of the video where they ask "if their friendship ever been torn apart by a woman yet?" And Anthony immediately answer with "yeah his girlfriend right now" he laughs but it's obvious he thinks of it beforehand hence why he was so quick to answer to that. But Ian laughs at him. He either thinks Anthony is joking or he's not comfortable with Anthony talking about his girlfriend. And then when they ask if they have girlfriends Ian's face immediately falls as him and Anthony says yes. (Put a more closer look at the end) Now that's definitely not a "shy" look as the woman said in my eyes. It's clear that Ian is sad about it. But why? Is he sad that he had a girlfriend? Is he sad that they're talking about her in the show? Is he sad that Anthony has a girlfriend? That they can't spend enough time together now? And why didn't Anthony liked Ian's gf? As far as I know m****** and Ian is still in good terms. What was happening in Anthony's mind that made him uncomfortable? I don't wanna believe that™ woman but her story about this part looks like it's true. Anthony doesn't like Ian's gf and Ian doesn't like Anthony's. I get Ian not liking k**** but why Anthony doesn't like m******? Yeah i know that's none of ours business but it's too much of a subject now I can't stop but wonder about it. Cause we all now even if Ian threatened bad in the relationship he wouldn't tell anything. He himself said he wouldn't even understand if he put in emotional turmoil. Did something happen to make Anthony not happy? Also again why the fuck Ian is sad about them having girlfriends? He immediately puts it to Anthony by making a joke about the shy part with "oh Anthony is blushing now" but he wasn't shy it is so obvious Ian was sad. Ok on to the next part.

This part is more sadder. SAD AS FUCK. Cause here we see Anthony very openly and a little jokey but in all seriousness saying Ian that he doesn't enjoy doing editing the full time. He says "he lost the gladiator fight (this is a reference as they did fight about parts and Ian got the writing the script and him "stuck" with editing)" When the reporter confront Ian with "he wanted to do it too you're too controlling Ian" Ian looks so confused. Cause this is the first time he's hearing this and he's shocked and doesn't realize if that's a bit or serious he's looking between Anthony and the reporter awkwardly laughing. And Anthony hits him with "this is spousal abuse" Ian is confused licking his lips can't answer the reporter can't answer to Anthony he doesn't know what to say. Again we know Ian is not very open about his feelings and can't show them. That's a fact already. But in this moment we can see him can't hide his feelings and like showing his confusion. I think Ian's poker face improved after defy where he tried to act like everything is ok around the Smosh cast. In here it's still 2009, he's a young boy. And then Anthony says "I never told you but I'm very hurt by this." Referring the editing and the script writing. We know it's not a joke cause he repeats himself for Ian to hear it. Ian still can't answer but there's a little "awww" coming. He probably wants this to stop. Doesn't wanna talk about it anymore. His face is obvious but his mouth still can't make up words about how he's feeling. We see him relax a little when others laugh so he thinks it's not that serious it's not something big of a deal that makes Anthony leave. He's relaxed now and jokes about it. The others remind them that COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. TALK TO EACH OTHER. Anthony then makes another comment "you never talk with me." He's serious about this too. We can see it because when Ian came to his senses and made that a joke too and give a funny accent apologize we can see Anthony is annoyed. This is him trying and Ian once again pushing his feelings aside and turning it into jokes. Which I think Anthony sees that jokes as "Ian didn't care about me, it was always a joke to him, he didn't care about me enough" when it's just Ian trying to make it a joke so he doesn't have to be open and sincere and talk about his feelings. (This boy needs therapy((STILL)) now that he "apologized" he immediately drops his face and sulk cause he's aware it's bad too, he knows it's cringe and he knows it annoys Anthony.

Meanwhile others are STILL trying to advise them to talk to each other. They ignore that as they talk between each other "we should go to Dr Phil" "or Tyra(not sure he literally talks inside his mouth)" others tells them to find each others love languages Anthony shakes his head as a no? Ian laughs? And again they end it with SPEAK TO EACH OTHER. Which we later saw that they actually didn't do that.

Someone in the server said something like "i can't believe how they managed to stretch that till 2017" tbh i really don't know too. Cause this conversation happened literally 14 years later too. Anthony still remembers it all. My only guess is the love and connection they had for each other. Ian didn't wanna talk about it, he didn't wanna do it because he didn't want Anthony to leave, I bet he had his own problems too but he put everything aside and put on a happy mask, acting like nothing bad is happening when everything bad is happening. He tried to act like everything is fine so Anthony won't leave. And Anthony didn't say anything or maybe tried a little but got ignored by Ian. So he didn't talk about it anymore because he didn't want to annoy Ian, and then later he thought Ian didn't care anymore, he was a bad person. I don't wanna assume their friendship it's not my place. But it's so obvious that communication was the key. And from the 2009 people were telling them to talk to each other. That they didn't listen. Ofc now that they came together they talk more about their feelings and they're more open to each other. At the time they were still young and still insecure probably. But every time i saw them coming together after 6 years. It made me think that they're actually soulmates. The universe wanted them together that's why Ian transferred to that school, that's why they met in 6th grade, that's why they became best friends. The universe tears them apart because they couldn't realize the magic of their relationship. But even after 6 years they're coming together and there's STILL a sparkle that's destiny. Their path might be separated in the road but they're back together and now they're closer than ever. I'm so glad.

"If it’s real love, then let it breathe. Let them be free as a person, and if they come back to you, then that’s how you know it’s always been real. This is what you call “freedom love” in order to let them go and be free—it’s coming from love and never hate or pity. Lead with love in these conversations, and if it’s meant to be, it’ll come back to you. This is not a goodbye forever, just a see you next time."

#smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #☀️🔍 #💛🖤 #this is by no means me going thats exactly what happened its the truth or anything this is just me analysing shit i saw #its 3.50am #im on my feelings rn

[jahayla-parker]

Request: Hey so I was wonder if you could write a story with either kaz brekker × ADHD reader or freddy Carter × ADHD reader where the reader is struggling and ends up with haveing breakdown and is in tears with the fact that they can't stay focused and everything is slipping into a mess and they are struggling and they just comfort the reader. haven't been feeling very well lately and begin feeling overwhelmed and I love your work

Over It All : Kaz Brekker x Reader

@alex-kazbrekkersimp this is the last one I’ll be tagging you in unless you mention wanting to be added to one of (or multiple) my tag lists 💜 same note as on the last/Freddy one: Hi! So sorry for just getting to this! Ironically enough, I was experiencing this myself over the last few months. I hope you're feeling better! I did both characters/people, but I broke it up. In this one you'll find Kaz’s version.

Note: Thank you to @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r for helping me edit this!

Description: 3.8k wc, reader struggles with her ADHD to the point of breaking into tears, prompting Kaz to find a way to come to her aid. Hurt-comfort, angst-fluff

Warnings: SOC content (and applicable warnings), ADHD symptoms and experiences discussed, mention of crying and sadness, negative thoughts of self, some angst but fluffy ending/comfort

Y/n hid behind the empty box of spirits that Kaz had imported for the Crow Club. The bottles had already been removed and stored in their appropriate places. However, it seemed someone forgot to dispose of the now-empty crate. Y/n was beyond grateful for that oversight at this moment. 

She’d been trying to hide from Kaz all evening. Normally she’d be able to be found in his office after dinner had been served. It had started as a means of bringing him food that she’d then have to all-but force him to eat; however, it soon turned into a nightly ritual in which the now-couple would either visit briefly or silently complete more work/hobbies.

Tonight was different. She didn’t want to go to his office. Y/n knew Kaz would be able to pick up on her negative energy. And for once, she didn’t want to talk about it. After all, she wasn’t sure how to explain herself to anyone. 

She knew she couldn’t go to her room. That would be the first place Kaz would likely check for her after noticing her absence. She could go somewhere outside of the Slat or Crow’s Club entirely, but she didn’t want Kaz to worry either. So instead Y/n chose to stay in the back part of the Crow Club, hidden behind the empty wooden crate. 

She wasn’t sure what her plan was, Y/n doubted she could outlast Kaz’s insomnia, but perhaps she could outlast his interest tonight. Maybe if she hid long enough, he’d grow tired of trying to find her (or wouldn’t risk the others being clued into the reason behind such behavior). At which point she could return to her room for some much needed sleep. 

Y/n felt guilty for hiding from him. He hadn’t been the one to do anything wrong in this instance. Instead, it was her that failed to accomplish the tasks he’d assigned her. She had never struggled this much to complete them before. 

However, given the chaotic dynamics of the club and increased heists lately, she’d been more stressed and less well-rested than normal. As such, her focus was waning. Well, waning would suggest she had at least some small amount of focus left. Which she didn’t. Lack of focus would be a better way to put it. She couldn’t focus if her life depended on it. In some way it did. 

It wasn’t that Kaz would kill her, or even really threaten her for not completing the tasks as he might the other crows, but that was not the relationship he had with Y/n; and she knew that. But, she knew he’d still be disappointed in her. 

Yet, that wasn’t even the biggest threat she faced when it came to having failed to do her job. Instead, Kaz was on a time crunch for moving forward with their next heist. If he went through with the heist despite Y/n not completing her assigned preparative tasks, someone could die. 

Y/n had given up already on getting her tasks done today. She tried countless times, in countless ways, at countless different locations. All without even a minute level of success. They weren’t difficult, but her mind still wouldn’t cooperate or focus. 

Hence why she resorted to isolating herself in the dingy back room of the club. It was almost poetic. This was the type of place she belonged after her shameful failures today. A place with cracked walls, dirt and soot, no lighting, cobwebs, and empty splintered boxes. 

Kaz clenched the top of his crow’s head cane tightly as he limped down the stairs. He had spent the last hour waiting for Y/n to join him in his office, yet he’d seen no sign of her this evening. In fact, Kaz hadn’t seen her since the early hours of the day. 

It wasn’t just that she wasn’t in his office tonight following the dinner Inej made the crows, it was that he couldn’t find her in her room either. Kaz even passed Inej in the hall and asked if she’d seen Y/n. He knew if Nina were nearby she’d be able to notice the way his heart rate increased dramatically upon Inej mentioning she hadn’t made it to dinner tonight. It was very unlike Y/n to not enjoy the company of the other crows. 

Kaz could understand if he’d somehow done something to make her mad. However, that wouldn’t explain why she hadn’t joined the other crows for dinner. He never joined the crows for dinner of his own volition; unless Y/n pleaded with him for days prior. So something must have happened to prevent her from joining them tonight. 

He wasn’t sure what was behind her absence, but he planned to get to the bottom of it. Kaz knew he couldn’t protect her from everything, especially in the barrel. Saints, he’d told her as much himself. Besides, he knew Y/n was more than capable of handling things herself. But, her absence tonight made his heart ache until he was practically speed-walking through his club. 

“Boss, come join us” Jesper called, waving Kaz over to where he was. Jesper was leaning against the bar counter, Wylan beside him shaking his head. 

“I’m clearly busy” Kaz retorted harshly, continuing his departure to the streets of the Barrel. 

“Is everything alright?” Wylan bravely asked as he pulled a drink away from Jesper. 

Kaz glanced sharply in his direction and shook his head, “I’m missing a crow”.

Wylan appeared to think for a moment, likely counting each crow and where/when he’d seen them last. “Who?” he pressed, unable to deduce who was missing. 

This infuriated Kaz. How could Wylan, or any of his crows, not notice Y/n’s absence? Nor see it as problematic or concerning? Kaz reluctantly pushed those irritations aside for the time. Yet, he made a mental note to return to the matter later. After he’d found y/n.

“Y/n” Kaz groaned, his gloved hand squeezing the top of his cane until he felt the metal edges grinding into his palm. 

“Really? I just saw-“ Wylan began, stopping when Jesper exaggeratedly shook his head and waved his hands around in the air. 

Kaz rose his right eyebrow at the couple and turned to face them. He made his way to them silently, his grip still tight on his cane. But his pace had slowed now that there seemed to be a piece of information he had been missing. 

“Where?” Kaz demanded firmly once he reached the counter. 

“Umm… maybe I was-“ Wylan mumbled, his eyes full of confusion as he looked between his drunken boyfriend and Kaz’s angry glare. 

Kaz smacked his cane against the hard floor, the sound reverberating throughout the club. Everything around them halted as all eyes shifted to watch Kaz tower menacingly over Jesper and Wylan. He turned enough to send the onlookers a warning glance. 

Once the rest of the room had resumed their previously abandoned activities, Kaz stared expectantly at Wylan. Jesper was clearly in no place to be of assistance, despite the fact that he clearly knew something. Wylan, on the other hand, appeared to know where Y/n was at, but not whatever detail had Jesper telling him not to disclose her location. 

“She…” Wylan trailed off, still uncertain whether to trust the hesitation of his boyfriend or comply with Kaz’s unspoken order. 

Jesper groaned, leaning his head on the sticky counter. “No one chooses to stay back there if they want to be found” he mumbled. 

Kaz furrowed his brows as he leaned closer to them. “If neither one of you tell me where she is within the next twenty seconds, I will-“ he began to threaten. 

Wylan cut him off before he could inform them of their potential consequence. “Are you planning on hurting her?” Wylan questioned. 

Kaz’s stare hardened despite the pain in his chest at the insinuation. He had never done anything to hurt Y/n. Saints, he threatened his crows, but would never truly act on it. Kaz knew his reputation was likely the reason Wylan was asking. Yet, Kaz hated that Wylan felt he had to ask if Kaz would hurt Y/n of all people. 

Wylan’s body language shifted as he picked up on Kaz’s reaction to his question. Nonetheless, Kaz needed to know where Y/n was. More specifically, he needed visual confirmation that she was safe. And ideally, learn why she was seemingly avoiding him. “No”.

“She’s in the back. Behind the old storage boxes for the bar” Wylan stated, tilting his head towards the door behind him. 

Kaz nodded once at Wylan, sent a stiff glance at Jesper, and moved past them. He couldn’t control the thoughts in his mind as he made his way back to the storage room. Why would she choose to be in the one truly unkempt place in the club? Why did she prefer to be there instead of in his office? 

As the door creaked open, he saw movement behind the row of shabby shelves. He stared intently in that direction, hoping for another glance. He could’ve sworn he’d seen her y/h/c during the initial flicker of movement. But he didn’t want to announce himself just yet if he was wrong. 

As he moved closer, he heard the sound of someone hitting the floor; he picked up his pace upon recognizing Y/n’s faint groan. It only took him a few seconds to reach the end of the aisle. When he did, he came upon the sight of her attempting to get off the ground. 

Kaz watched as her eyes flickered from the ground, to his cane, then back down. He sighed loudly. If it wasn’t before, it was now evident she was avoiding Kaz. But he still couldn’t figure out why. 

Y/n noticed Kaz extended his gloved hand down for her to use to stand. Y/n shook her head, pushing herself up. Once she was on her feet again, she brushed herself off. “Excuse me” she whispered, attempting to move around him. 

Kaz’s gloved hand stopped her from leaving, his leather covered fingers wrapping around her wrist. He silently tapped her inner wrist before tugging on her arm. “Look at me” he said. 

Y/n slowly spun around to face him but remained silent.  

“Why are you acting like this?” Kaz asked, furrowing his brows as he stared down at her. He slowly let go of her wrist and dropped his hand back down to his side. 

“Like what? I need to-“ she began, eyeing his gloves. 

“Continue avoiding me?” He pushed, giving her a knowing look. 

Kaz watched the way her eyes widened and lips parted. She clearly hadn’t expected him to call her out on her actions. Or perhaps she didn’t expect him to notice at all. Either way, it was clear he’d caught her off guard. 

“You didn’t think I’d notice?” Kaz questioned, his voice a bit sharper than he intended. 

Y/n glanced down at her dirty boots and sighed. “I hoped you wouldn’t. I hoped you would be focused on something other than my idiotic self” she admitted. 

“Excuse me?” Kaz spat, frowning until he felt a pain above his eye. 

“I am a failure, Kaz. That’s why I can’t look you in the eyes” y/n explained, shifting under his piercing stare. 

Kaz sighed in annoyance, “Y/n, you know I don’t tolerate lying”.

“I’m not lying” she whispered, her voice cracking. 

Kaz’s gaze softened as he saw a silent tear roll down her cheek. He shifted his jaw and took a deep breath. Kaz was about to ask Y/n what she was referring to when he heard her let out a quiet, shaking sob. 

Kaz abruptly snapped his body in the opposite direction. He ignored the pain in his knee as he quickly limped back to the door that lead to the main hall of the club. 

“Please don’t leave, I’ll stop crying” y/n whimpered, suddenly behind him. She grabbed his wrist with her hand, careful to only rest her skin again his jacket sleeve rather than his exposed skin. 

Kaz turned to her, moving his arm until her hand was in his gloved one. He gave her as tender of a nod as he could. His voice was still rough but quiet as he told her “I’m sending everyone home”.

Worried the club would lose money by closing early, she began to argue. “But it’s busy tonight. It’s important that we-“ 

“No,” Kaz cut her off, squeezing her hand, “you’re what’s important right now”.

Kaz watched as Y/n crawled onto his bed silently. She was now dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of her shorts. The open window of his room provided some relief from the stuffy warmth of the air this time of year. 

He wasn’t sure how to help her. To be fair, he wasn’t sure how to help anyone. Being vulnerable and emotionally supportive were not his strong suits.  

He couldn’t physically hold her as she expressed her feelings. He wasn’t great at showing or expressing his own feelings. He didn’t know how to begin the conversation without upsetting her. And he didn’t know how to verbally respond if she were to express the reason for her depressed state. 

He could be straight forward, he was good at that. But he didn’t feel that was enough. It was one thing to tell her she wasn’t a failure like she claimed, it was another to be able to elaborate on that and offer a compliment instead. And Kaz wasn’t good at the latter. 

“You’re okay” Kaz said in a weak attempt at comforting her. He sighed softly as she nodded doubtfully and stared at her lap. He wasn’t off to a good start. “Did you.. Want to talk?” Kaz asked hesitantly. While he wasn’t sure how well that talk would go, he could at least offer one. 

She glanced up at him briefly before her eyes quickly looked elsewhere, “No”. 

Kaz nodded and removed his hat and jacket. He watched her closely while he hung up his items, eyes scanning her face as she tried to regulate her emotions. Once his outer layers were hanging on the rack, he made his way to her. 

Sitting beside her, he still wasn’t sure what to do, but he would at least offer his presence. Kaz slowly extended his hand between them, palm up. 

Y/n looked down at his hand and flickered her eyes up to his face in search of confirmation. When she received an affirmative nod, she rested her hand in his gloved one. She nearly jumped when his fingers laced through hers, and he gave her hand a comforting squeeze. 

His actions eased some of her guilt, nerves, and shame. She now felt that perhaps she could tell him what was troubling her after all. Y/n knew he might not understand, but at least she could try and get it off her chest. 

She hesitantly whispered his name in the form of a question, “Kaz?”. The corners of her lips twitched upwards faintly when he squeezed her hand again and hummed quietly as a sign for her to continue. “Maybe I do want to talk…is that okay?” Y/n asked. 

Kaz nodded and gave her another small squeeze as he worked to calm the imaginary waters hitting his legs from the contact. 

“I am not getting any of it done” she confessed, staring at the wall across the room from them. 

“Any of what?” Kaz questioned, his eyes watching her body language intently. 

“My jobs, I’m falling behind, and….and…and…” Y/n rambled, her mind once again unable to focus. Even now, when it came to her own emotions, her brain just would not focus enough for her to form the right words. 

“And?” Kaz asked, his soft tone and careful attention saying more than his words ever could. 

Y/n snapped her eyes over to him, the tears in them making Kaz grind his teeth. “I’m failing you” she responded after a few seconds. 

“What?“ he questioned, letting out a breathy exhale. His tone this time was much harsher and more serious. Kaz hoped it displayed his offense over such a suggestion rather than coming across in a hurtful manner. 

“I’m failing you” Y/n repeated. She looked away from his tense eyes, sighing when she felt his hand slackening its grip on hers. As a result, she began to pull her hand from his in embarrassment. 

Kaz noticed the action and promptly readjusted his grip. He gave her a silent squeeze as he composed his thoughts. “What are you talking about?” Kaz finally asked, schooling his eyes to remain soft, despite his concern. 

“You asked me to review the maps of Chenvilun’s, but I can’t focus” y/n cried. “I tried, but every sound from downstairs distracted me” She elaborated. 

When Kaz nodded slowly, she continued, “So, I went to the University library. I thought it would be quiet”. Y/n sighed loudly, “But then the sound of pens from the studying students wouldn’t stop echoing in my head”. 

Y/N’s free hand dragged down her face, “It’s hard to explain. But… Then I headed back here, and I can’t stop thinking about other things”. She felt Kaz’s eyes on her as she attempted to explain herself. “I could focus on some of those for a little while, but those weren’t what you asked me to do” she stated, frustration evident in her voice. “I wasn't accomplishing or doing what I needed to be… Meaning I also fell behind on the other stuff” Y/n confessed with a sniffle. 

The confused look Kaz responded with prompted her to elaborate on that concern. “I didn't do my regular chores either; I didn’t help Nina with the dishes, or visit Rotty at the docks to see if there was anything to report to you” y/n pointed out, unconsciously tightening her grip on Kaz’s hand as her emotions took over, “and then I got so overwhelmed that it cycled and I-..I…I..-“

Kaz saw the signs of a panic attack beginning to take over; he knew the warning signs all too well. However, as he despised his own, he hated hers even more. At least with his, he was the one suffering. With hers, Y/n was the one in pain, and Kaz hated that. Especially since he couldn’t offer her much help whenever they’d hit. 

He quietly moved closer to her, hoping his proximity would help. Kaz felt her hand slip from his as she began to tug on her hair with both hands, breathing loudly. He moved his gloved hand towards her and placed it on her shoulder. 

“Y/n/n, your only task right now…” he stopped himself to reword his response. “The only thing I need, is for you to breathe” Kaz told her. 

“No, you-“ She argued breathily. 

Kaz firmly shook his head, “Your order is to breathe. That’s all.” He followed up his statement by intentionally breathing loudly. He maintained a steady pace in hopes she’d copy his breathing with her own. 

Once her breathing was starting to improve, she lowered her hand from her face. Y/n took a deep breath, making sure the intake matched Kaz’s. She risked looking up at him despite her embarrassment. “You’re not mad I failed you?” Y/n wondered. 

“You didn’t fail me” Kaz replied simply. When Y/n silently shook her head in disagreement, Kaz sighed. “Y/n, you did not fail me” he promised. Stepping outside his comfort zone, he tenderly added, “You could never fail me”. While he wasn’t sure about confessing such a vulnerable sentiment to her, when he saw the shimmer of joy in Y/n’s eyes, he knew it was worth it. 

“One thing at a time, and we do it together” Kaz stated upon sensing Y/n was still worried over not finishing her jobs.

She nodded her agreement and grabbed the papers she had set down beside her when they entered his room. 

“No. After you rest” Kaz corrected sternly. 

Despite his sternness, Y/n still resisted his attempt to get her to forget about her duties for the night. “But,-“ she began to protest. 

Kaz’s gloved hand shook slightly as he stroked Y/n's cheek, brushing a loose lock of hair from her face. “Not resting will make it worse,” He reminded her. Kaz cleared his throat, once again being more intentional with his words. “It will make you feel worse, and I won’t have that” Kaz explained. 

Y/n wiped her face and nodded, but she still gave him a sad look that told him she wasn’t entirely on board yet. “I can’t sleep if my mind is racing” she explained. She looked shamefully back down at her lap. Kaz had already done so much for her tonight, yet here she was, still complaining. 

Kaz silently racked his brain for a solution. Suddenly, it hit him as his eyes landed on the tiny bookshelf he’d installed specifically for Y/n’s collection. She had her own bookcase in her bedroom; however, Kaz often noticed she’d bring books to his room, trying to keep them neatly stacked and out of his way. Since then, hed had one of the dregs install the shelf.  

The bookshelf served as a reminder to him of all the many occasions in which he would find her hyper-focused on reading her latest book. He knew she wasn’t likely able to read to herself tonight given her inattentiveness, but he suspected the material from her books could still offer her a distraction from the self-deprecating thoughts racing through her mind. 

As such, Kaz unexpectedly offered to read aloud to her. It came as a surprise to both of them, as it was an unusual behavior and fairly intimate for the couple. But Kaz added it to his mental arsenal of solutions for whenever her focus failed her again. After all, it wasn’t long after he began reading to her that he found himself grinning like an idiot as she fell asleep in his bed with a small smile on her face.

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[lettingtimepass]

Loki Season 2 Finale Watch #2 Thoughts and Feelings (Spoilers)

Ok, it's time for round 2 of pain!!!

THE INTRO IN REVERSE!!! God that’s sexy.

Mobius immediately noticing something’s up when Loki came back 😭

"It looks like Mobius but it's actually Victor Timely" asjdkalks Loki pls was that necessary

"I'm a-coming I'm a-coming" 😭

*Deadpan* "Be Brave. You're being so brave."

Loki laughing and tearing up when Victor finally does it - I'm so sorry my baby boy 😭

Why does Victor say "Pumpkins" after he comes back hahaha

The fact that the camera is flipped in the Loki/Sylvie and Loki/Mobius scenes is a cool editing trick.

Is it just me or did Johnthan use a slightly different voice for HWR? I wonder if it's just because he's being more honest with Loki?

Also did HWR give Loki the ability to timeslip once he went through the door? Kind of a cheap explanation but ehh.

*Loki: Stops time* "And what makes you think this is the first time we've had this conversation? 👉" That's cunty sir. 🔥

I absolutely love the theory that the 8-year-old boy Mobius couldn't prune was Loki 😭 And that's what originally caused Mobius to study Loki.

The fact that Loki actually got to spend hundreds of years with his friends - but they were all spent frantically trying to save a world that couldn't be saved. 💔

Someone needs to put Loki's transformation and Thor's appearance in Wakanda side by side 😭😭😭 Sunshine brothers saving the day...

When Loki breaks the loom, rainbows are reflected on everyone's faces... gay rights 🌈

The parallel of the gangway and the Bifrost...... Loki's actions caused the destruction of the Bifrost. Now he'll use this bridge to fix everything.

I think it's just a coincidence that the Time Stone is green, but it's a really, really good coincidence.

"I made the hard choices, I get the big chair." Sighhhhhh.

The gold being pulled up the chair?? What good effects.

The reveal of the TREE!!!! I was shooketh!!! Like it makes so much sense considering the timelines were referred to as "branches" the entire time but I didn't see it coming!!! It's so damn beautiful!!!

Do we think they're able to see the Tree in place of the Loom in the TVA?

The little poster that says "Let's Grow Together" is so damn adorable 🥺 Under it says "Nurture our Nature of a Stable Future." And the Tree Monitor is so cool!!!

I wasn't expecting Miss Minutes to come back lol

Sad Mobius not having a purpose at the TVA without Loki 😭😭😭

...What DID happen to Timely? Did they just put him back on his branch?

What do we think was different in the new TVA handbooks that OB unboxes? I guess maybe just info about the Tree and maintaining all the branches instead of the Loom and the Sacared Timeline.

When Mobius and Sylvie are talking on the branch, the green and gold light is only on Mobius. Between that and Loki explicitly hearing Mobius' words, that's basically the confirmation that Loki did all this for Mobius. As one twitter user put it, Lokius Nation, we won, but at what cost?

Also. GREATEST SCORE OF ALL TIME! NATALIE HOLT!!! I can't wait for the final part to drop 🖤

Disney Plus suggesting Secret Invasion after is actually so insulting 😩

Okay, I definitely enjoyed that better the second time when my heart wasn't fucking racing for 55 straight minutes 🙃

#Loki #Loki Show #Loki Series #Loki Season 2 #Loki s2e6 #Loki s2e6 Glorius Purpose #Loki Season 2 finale #Loki Finale #Loki Spoilers #Lokius

[lonesplashy]

Ok I see ppl on Tumblr talking Abt how much they liked the final episodes but honestly I was severely underwhelmed by the fionna and cake ending. If you don't want to see me just list out everything I like and dislike and why according to my arbitrary personal preferences scroll now.

The second half of the fight with scabby was meh and repetitive. At least the gumlee was cute. Fionna is still the bestest even if her final fight kinda sucked. I love her dearly and I hope she is living her best life.

The lack of Ooo Marceline in the end was literally so disappointing too I wish we could've seen her again at SOME point.

And just in general the ending felt really rushed, I feel like if they had some more episodes to work with it would've been a lot smoother.

Simons pov was just so severely underwhelming, it just felt like filler to me.

I literally didn't care if it was going to be happy or sad ending for Simon as long as it made me feel things like the last couple of episodes did but it just felt totally flat. It didn't really feel like an ending at all. I wouldn't even mind the breakup angle they took under normal circumstances if it wasn't for the fact he like. Literally spent 12 years basically being in a constant mental breakdown, and a thousand years before that subconsciously searching for her, and her literally driving herself to insanity and becoming golb to keep him safe, but wow suddenly everything's chill cuz he played a video game. Ok. Simon just realized that whoops he didn't always take Betty's feelings into account and they parted ways.

And I will repeat: I DO NOT MIND THE BREAK UP ANGLE. IT MAKES SENSE OBJECTIVELY. HOWEVER. IT FEELS LIKE THERE WAS LIKE. TWO MINUTES OF THOUGHT PUT INTO IT. DEFINITELY NOT SUPER HEARTSTRINGS PULLING TO ME. DO NOT GET IN MY COMMENTS BEING WELL ACTKULLY THIS IS JUST ME COMPLAINING ABOUT CARTOONS.

I liked the golbetty in the bus and the golbetty statue. I could bs something about them going their separate ways on a journey the other can't go on and insert trigun quote here about how the ticket to the future is always blank but I just really like golbetty. She's great shes monsterous she's perfect.

Just in general Simon and Betty felt off to me during the final episodes, I can't really put my finger on it but they just felt weird. I'm sure Betty's been doing a lot of thinking in the void and all but it still fell to the left of them I think. The whole time I was watching I was just like. Hm.

Edit: got it. Betty has always been wanting to keep Simon thinking about her. Always. With AI Betty head she flat out said "I knew it would drive you crazy but at least you'd always be thinking about me" and it's like a core thing she does stuff for the Dramatics. While you can argue she's been doing a lot of thinking in the void and matured because of it she's also been a goddess of CHAOS. If anything she's gonna go more loony rather than more mature.

Not to sound like a doomed crazy yuri enthusiast but there are literally no normal or healthy actions you can take after literally becoming a god for someone.

Maybe I'm just too committed to the bit but I'm a solid believer that if you start a weird fucked up path you gotta end on a weird fucked up note. Although the severe disappointment of nothing happening is probably the most fucked up thing they could do to me.

Ik it's supposed to be some sometimes life doesn't give you a tidy ending stuff but also this is fiction I get enough fuck yous like this from reality and ignored job applications I want my fuck yous from fiction to be not sadly vague. Or at least better written.

At least Simon's in therapy. About time.

And the little emoticons he's using in his phone. :)

Do feel free to put your own opinions in on whether you liked or disliked the ending just play nice 🤙

#i think i wouldve rather watched simon explode tbh #significantly more entertaining #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #petrigrof #fionna and cake episode 10 #fionna and cake episode 9 #im ignoring canon in my head theyre having crazy nightmare dream sex #also what was simon supposed to do about the bus flap his arms and fly to Australia

[thewiz9062]

Smiling Critters AU: Catnap's Psyche

NOTE: THIS IS NOT RELATED TO CANON IN THE SLIGHTEST. An accurate description of this au is that I took every playtime.co poster art and promotional material from the game and lit up the rest of canon in a bonfire. Meaning that EVERY character is part of one big cartoon. Thats it. No bigger bodies project, no child souls, no experiments, just a depiction of a cartoon. PLEASE do not ask me to do anything suggestive with anyone.

OK so catnap in an interesting case,

I will be referencing events from my masterpost, but if you want to read like the bare minimum, then his backstory is here because attempting to re-write it here was a chore

I've sort of made him the introvert, but the more I write about him, the more he seems surprisingly adept at reading emotions, and I like it so we're rolling with it. I like to think he felt alot of emotions during his homelessness period, and references his own pain to inquire what others are feeling, and apply a comforting technique based on how he moved on and how they might feel about the situation. If dogday is inspiration and happiness, then catnap is melancholy.

Now I wanna go over his situational mutism, as it's pretty important and affects most of his interactions with the others. First I'll say that I have done some reading but this may still be somewhat inaccurate, and please tell me if I'm way off base so I can edit it if you have better info.

It started during his homelessness, and being uncomfortable around anyone and everyone due to the fact of him literally being a stray cat as well as living alone for 8-9 years didn't really help. Eventually his voice just wouldn't work when interacting with anyone so miming and over-exxagerating facial expressions (to the best of his resting bitch face can allow) is his way of communication. He still ends up wishing he could, but what's done is done. He doesn't know sign language as no one was yk... there to teach him.

I also want to get into how dogday is his closest friend when because in practice, it should be bobby. Picky was kind of put about the whole 'forest cabin kid' thing, but Bobby was understanding and even gave him food, but in terms of interaction, it was just awkward. Both felt bad in different ways, Bobby a little upset that the communication barrier is blocking her from truly being able to help him, and catnap being sad that this the first person his age that willingly wants to talk to him in years and he can't even muster a few words. Even his facial expressions weren't quite working, and their "convos" were more like peaceful interrogations.

Thankfully, she put dogday on the case, and interacting with him was a whole different story. He didn't immediately get awkward when catnap didn't respond to a question and mimed about his situational mutism, instead treating him as if he was talking to someone normally, with a few minor modifications Questions wouldn't require an answer, he would just study his gestures and infer a response, or when he was rambling he wouldn't stop to check if catnap was listening due to his silence, he treated him like he would with anyone else. Maybe he was oblivious to what he was doing right, maybe not, catnap appreciated it either way.

So imagine his suprise when he realized that in a way, Dogday was just like him in a way.

The slip-up in dogday's words revealed he lives in an orphanage, and he doesn't really know his parents as he was abandoned. But his excitable demeanor just didn't make sense to him. It's only when dogday accidentally breaks into a tangent about how his situation isn't bad and that it's okay, and he's okay does catnap realize the subconscious mental limiter dogday's placed on himself. Catnap sees himself in Dogday, but instead of riding all his emotions out, Dogday has suppressed everything, in hopes to make everyone, and to an extent himself, happy. He couldn't just let him continue that, and in some way, that familiarity broke through the uncomfortability as he told dogday that it's alright to sulk. Something that wasn't told to him before.

I like the parallels I made with him and dogday and the backstory I gave him, so that's why I chose situational mutism instead of just being mute. The rest of the critters haven't met catnap yet because that happens during the summer arc so I still have to plan that out.

This psyche series is my way of reminding myself how they think, so if you did read or end up reading my other posts, I would appreciate if you could point out inconsistencies!! Ty for reading this

#poppy playtime #smiling critters #dogday #catnap #alternate universe #headcanon #psychology #i think?

[katshuya]

Why are you so admant to putting a woman against a woman?

They were both victims of Rhaegar and patriarchy.

Lyanna was a literal child. It's kind of silly to desperately try to make people hate her.

Most of my posts about Rhaegar, yet people from both sides, see my talk about lyanna only. I don't want people to hate her, but I wrote that,

Because a woman is allowed to feel negative about another woman who hurts her. And you aren't being progressive or feminist by banning that.

Yes, Lyanna hurt Elia. And I'm not even getting into if she played part in causing the rebellion or not. I'm talking about Elia's feelings and safety of her children.

And if they survived, she would have hurt her more.

And the fact that she was young makes it worse for Elia. Because any adult would feel the need to suppress their frustration and pain that is rightfully felt when the one who hurt them is much younger than them. But do people talk or think of that? No. Because Saint lyanna must be protected at all costs.

Do I feel sorry for Lyanna? Yes, to some extent. I also recognize that Rhaegar hurt her. But I can't care for her unless I read that she regretted what she did and not because her family died only but also she regretted causing hurt to Elia's feelings.

Just because a man is the biggest culprit doesn't mean the woman is faultless. This is not justice.

And when I say she should be held accountable, I don't mean beheaded or spanked. I mean feeling sorry for what she did. Can you imagine what a monster and how sick I am?

I don't want to see Martin giving me Lyanna was so sad that her married lover/husband was dead and for his rightful wife who was raped and killed with her children but she still wanted Rhaegar and would have stayed with Rhaegar out of love if she had survived.

Elia is always made a doormat in order to make Lyanna look like a poor baby that adult Elia would pat her head and protect her at all cost for the sake of "not putting a woman against woman" as you think you are doing. Otherwise, she is a silly non-feminist non-progressive woman.

It's you who is degrading a woman's feelings for fake progressiveness.

Lyanna was young, but she wasn't naive when it came to this aspect. A young person isn't necessarily naive in everything. So their mistakes aren't always due to nativity. Sometimes, it's selfishness.

Call me what you want. Unfollow or send anonymous asks to belittle me. I said what I said. I didn't come here caring for any of that anyway.

Elia Martell has every right to not like Lyanna and to have negative feelings toward her even though Lyanna is a woman.

I got a lot of asks about Lyanna. Hope this answers you all because I'm busy these two months.

Edit: I want Elia to have this right. I'm not trying to make people hate Lyanna.

#elia martell #anti rhaegar x lyanna #lyanna isn't faultless #anti rhaegar #elia deserves better #rhaegar targaryen #lyanna stark #a song of ice and fire

[curiosity-killed]

while i lie here melting, i am noodling on tcp edit things without actually. editing. so:

Contemplating the nature of calsir's relationship bc i've been struggling a bit with like. why DO they get together when, as callebero says, what he feels for sirion isn't really so different from what he feels for jisel (aside from the fact that i like them together and they're cute) and i THINK the thing is like

ultimately callebero wants so so so badly for the people he loves to want to stay. he belongs in ancelm, he belongs to arradine, he doesn't feel like he has a say in this (and in some pretty real ways, he hasn't had a say in it when he was named Alir's heir without his knowledge when he was literally a child) and part of him is always scared of trapping the people he loves with him and because of the nature of his station (ESPECIALLY by b3 when he's sort of. literally viewed as a god on earth), he can't ask people to stay and rlly feel like it's a totally fair, uncoerced answer so he just. doesn't ask.

and with sirion there's some extra uhhhh awkwardness considering Sirion is literally sworn to Callebero in service and Callebero like, pays his salary. basically.

which like! is partially resolved by the fact that sirion forfeits his position literally in b1 but i just had him get it back when they return which im now realizing is maybe not the answer both because a) him refusing the title makes callebero feel extra rejected (both because it's in his opinion the only thing he has to offer Sirion + because Sirion would presumably no longer live in the palace unless Callebero shuffled him into one of the empty family suites like he did with Jisel which. is a possibility i guess? Sirion's just over here thinking he's living a bewildering but lovely househusband life while Callebero is so so sad about everything), b) puts him in a position to be asked to stay (to an extent), and c) could potentially mirror the Fran/Anharad romance that sort of...set off the catastrophe and downfall of the Soko house

(ALSO like realistically...Sirion did get the position because of favoritism and while there are in-universe arguments to be made about his qualifications and deservedness, it is also like....he would have probably deserved the position in about 5 years but that doesn't mean he should have gotten it when he did)

(this is very much like when i was complaining about how much i didn't want to cut off callebero's arm and then talked myself into it)

but then i'm like! sirion is very much not actually househusband material this boy is a working dog type and if he doesn't have Activities and Responsibilities he will eat the drywall. so he needs SOmething to do and it has to be outside of the like. palace org structure

#okay i think. i feel closer to figuring this out now. also this puts him in a more similar position to callebero #if he's like ''i'm literally unemployed from my dream job and driving my parents up the walls bc im so so so bored at home'' #and callebero can be like ''there are. empty rooms. if u would like... (notheyretotallynotreservedformyfamilywhichidon'thavebctheyalldied) #(noimtotallynotextendingextremelyunclearcodedmessagesabthowmuchiwantyouandjiseltostaywithmealways)'' #meanwhile sirion is like cool my ex-boss slash god slash giant crush who gently rejected me so i will never bring it up again #slash best friend who i got killed* is letting me crash on his couch so i should be USEFUL somehow but also— #nicenicenice okay the disasters continue #tcp editing adventures

[skytothemaxxx]

A New Chapter In Our Story

Prompt: Jake and Sherry get a new job positions and have to move their family, but they get a fresh start

Warning(s): None

Rating: E

“I am ready to have a home and not just a house though." Sherry smiled and took one last look at the apartment.

"I just, I never imagined this for me-for us. Don't get me wrong, I love you and I'm so madly in love with our little boy, but I feel like I'm dreaming. I never thought we would slow down a little, get married, have a kid, and now have an official home. I got so used to the fast pace that nothing like this ever crossed my mind."

Ao3 Link

Edit September 2023: Just realized in all my other parts Jake doesn’t have a mom so I had to fix that haha

Packing was something Sherry did better when she was alone because when she was in go mode, she was in go mode. She was packing up all the last-minute things they need for their move. They were moving from Washington to Boston. Even with her foot in a boot due to a broken ankle, she received from her last mission, she was kicking ass right now.

Chris, Claire, and Leon had made a couple of trips down to Boston with Sherry to help her move a lot of stuff while Jake stayed back with their son. Sherry figured it was better for Jake to stay back with their seven-month-old so his schedule wouldn't be thrown off.

Leon and Chris had come over right after Jake left so they could take all the bedroom furniture and the last of Aiden's bedroom furniture.

Their son did have an appointment that day so Sherry had Jake take him while she stayed back and packed all the things that they had left at the apartment so they could still live there until they had to leave for Boston.

The move was something very last minute, they only had a month to prepare. After the Chef of the DSO Boston headquarters offered Jake and Sherry a new position there, they had to hurry and find a house.

They were lucky to find a house that wasn't too far away from their new office and big enough for the three of them to live very comfortably.

The decision was hard on Sherry and Jake but since they had worked with the Boston team many times before and every mission they had helped the Boston team on was a success, and the fact that they knew how things operated over there, helped them come to a decision.

____________________________________

Jake❤️

Hey, just finished up here with Rebecca, are Aiden and I allowed to come home yet?

SuperWife🤍💍

Ha! I know you're joking but no actually. Can you two stay out for a while? I need to focus and get Aiden's room done and I can't do that with you two here. You are both too distracting.

Jake❤️

You know what, I'm gonna take that as a compliment...I guess Aiden and I will find something to do. Need me to pick anything up when I am allowed to come home?

SuperWife🤍💍

Of course, you are...and yes, please! I need more tape for all the boxes I've already packed. Also, send me a picture of our kid, I haven't seen him today!

Jake❤️

Okay and will do! Let me know if you need anything else.

____________________________________

Sherry put her phone back in her pocket and looked at her son's room and sighed, she had started packing clothes, diapers, and other things like that the night before when he was asleep. She knew his room was going to take her a while, not only because of how much stuff he had but because of how emotional it was for her.

After about two and a half hours, Sherry could hear the sound of the door being opened and closed.

"We're back!" Jake called out from the front door. He was shocked to see almost everything packed and ready to go.

"I'm in Aiden's room!" Sherry called back. Jake smiled and then walked through the small, almost completely empty, apartment to their son's room.

"Looks like you've been doing a lot of work while we were gone, supergirl." Jake chuckled.

"I've been putting off his room all morning, it's kinda sad to take all his things down and put them in boxes." Sherry looked around at the almost empty nursery. It made her sad to see all his pictures and things put away.

"Hey, how was his appointment?" Sherry asked, bringing her attention to her son and husband and away from packing for a minute.

Jake smiled and kissed Sherry's head before sitting down on the floor next to her.

"It went very well. Rebecca just said to bring him back one to two times a month so she can check him out."

Since both Jake and Sherry were genetically modified and had active cells of the C and G virus living and flowing through their body, Aiden was born with both the C and G virus mutations in his blood. Rebecca was always checking Aiden out to make sure he was okay since he could be considered a BOW because he had both the G and C viruses. So far, he was harmless and they wanted to keep it that way.

"Okay, that's good." Sherry smiled as she took Aiden out of his car seat. "You look wide awake bubs. Did you just wake up from a nap?" Sherry smiled at her son. His blue-grey eyes were wide open and his red hair was a little messy meaning he took a very good nap.

"He took a two-hour nap. I went to the office to sign some last-minute papers and I went to go get more tape like you asked me to and he slept the whole time which is kind of surprising. I was also going to get you flowers but I felt like now wasn't a good time because, well, you know," Jake added. Sherry looked over at Jake and smiled before kissing him.

Ever since they were dating, Jake would bring home flowers for Sherry if he was out without her. He did it on their wedding day, on their honeymoon, and every day she was in the hospital whenever Aiden was born.

"You are the best husband ever." Sherry giggled as she got up with Aiden and walk to the kitchen.

Jake smiled at Sherry's compliment before getting up and following her to the kitchen. He leaned against the kitchen island and watched as Sherry open the cabinet doors and tippy-toed to reach the top shelf.

"Want me to take him?" Jake asked as he saw Sherry getting some glass plates out of the kitchen cupboards.

"Umm, I think he's okay for now, he seems like he will stay still, but can you help me grab the plates please?" Sherry answered as she looked down at her son who seems pretty content and happy with just playing with the necklace she was wearing.

"Hey, we're staying at your Claire and Leon tonight, right?" Sherry asked as she wrapped the dishes in some towels as Jake handed them to her so they wouldn't break during transport.

"Yeah, we can head over to her house as soon as we're done here."

The kitchen only took her about half an hour to pack and luckily for her, Aiden hadn't gotten upset or bored yet but she still needed to hustle.

After Jake took all the kitchen boxes down to the car, Sherry walked over to the last remaining things in the living room and grabbed a pacifier for her son since he was starting to get a little fussy. She sat him on her hip and closed her eyes to think.

She could hear Jake walking back into the apartment and towards her, probably to ask if she was okay or to make a snarky remark.

"Don't say anything. I need you to shut up for a minute so I can make sure I got everything from his room and our room." Sherry's tone was soft, she wasn't by any means trying to be rude, she just need to picture everything in her head to make sure she got everything from the bedrooms.

"There is still a box in our bathroom. Can you go grab it please while I finish up things in here?" Sherry asked as she opened her eyes.

"Yes ma'am." Jake smiled as he went to go do what he was asked. As Jake walked off, Aiden grabbed Sherry's face and smiled at her even though he had a pacifier in his mouth. Even he could tell that his mama was upset and tense.

"You look too much like your daddy." Sherry smiled as she moved Aiden from her left to her right.

"You wanna play while Mama finishes packing?" Aiden smiled up at his mom and then rested his head on her chest as if he was hugging her. He was the sweetest little baby and it melted her heart.

Sherry walked to the few boxes that she had packed the night before and looked threw them for Aiden's toys.

"Baby, do you know where Aiden's toys are?" Sherry called out. "Leon told me that he took some of the boxes by the door this morning so he might have taken them," Jake responded before he walked back to the living room and put the box he was asked to grab by the front door with the other boxes Sherry had packed.

"Now what do we do to keep him occupied?" Sherry looked around at the empty apartment hoping that there was something to keep him in a good mood and occupied for about an hour.

"Here, look." Jake took Aiden from Sherry and put him in an empty box and put his blanket over him. Aiden pulled the blanket down and looked at his dad and giggled.

"Jake, you can't do that." Sherry laughed. "Why not? It's keeping him in one place and he seems pretty happy." Jake defended himself.

"Or I can also do this." Jake grabbed one of the flaps from the box and started pulling his son around in the box.

The baby's laughter only grew louder and wilder. Sherry couldn't help but laugh herself as she watch Jake pull their child around in a box.

"Why don't you take a break and play with him and I can do some packing, you've been on your feet all day, your ankle has to be killing you."

"My ankle is killing me, but I want to keep going, I just want to keep my mind occupied," Sherry answered as she walked over to Jake and Aiden and gave them both a kiss before going back to work.

After an hour of hard work and help from her husband, the house was finally empty. No family pictures, no baby toys scattered around the living room, nothing. Their apartment was 100% empty.

"Where is your gun?" Jake asked Sherry after he came back from putting the last box in the car.

"I left it in the closet while I packed. Yours?" Sherry asked as she grabbed her keys and put her shoe on.

"Mine is in the car's glove box, I didn't feel the need to bring it in."

"Can you put him in his car seat while I go grab mine from the closet and do one final sweep to make sure I got everything?" Sherry asked before she passed Aiden over to Jake.

Jake smiled and happily put his son in his car seat. "We're gonna go spend the night with your grandma so you gotta sleep through the night. Deal?"

Aiden looked up at his dad and smiled.

"Are you ready to go?" Jake asked Sherry as he picked up their son's car seat from the floor and watched her walk back into the living room. Sherry looked back at her husband with a bittersweet smile.

"No...We've lived in this apartment since we were dating and this is the plane we brought Aiden to after he was born. It's bittersweet for me." Sherry admitted truthfully.

"I mean, I know this place isn't home, but I'm still a little sad," Sherry added. Jake put Aiden's car seat back down and then went to go hug Sherry. He knew Sherry didn't do well with change so he knew how difficult this was on her.

"I know, but it's going to be okay. You're allowed to be sad, supergirl." Jake cupped Sherry's face in both hands before kissing her.

"I am ready to have a home and not just a house though." Sherry smiled and took one last look at the apartment.

"I just, I never imagined this for me-for us. Don't get me wrong, I love you and I'm so madly in love with our little boy, but I feel like I'm dreaming. I never thought we would slow down a little, get married, have a kid, and now have an official home. I got so used to the fast pace that nothing like this ever crossed my mind."

Sherry had always wanted to settle down before she met Jake, but when they got together she wasn't in a rush at all. She liked the fast pace of life and had never given a thought about getting married, starting a family, and having a home.

"I know how you feel. Before you, I never thought I would slow down or be the person I am today, but after I spent a good two years with you I knew one day we would slow down, but I didn't expect the kid or the home." Jake looked down at Sherry and laughed before kissing her again.

"Two years?" Sherry teased and laughed when she saw that Jake got flustered.

"You know what I mean! I knew I wanted to marry you after our very first date. It was after two years I realized that I was ready to settle down." Jake tilted Sherry's chin up before giving her a quick kiss.

It was reassuring to Sherry to hear that Jake felt the same way as she did, to know that he thought the same as she did.

"Okay, I'm ready now." Sherry looked back over her shoulder and took in the fact that this chapter of their life was over.

"You sure?" Jake wanted to make sure that his wife was ready to officially leave.

"Yeah, I'm ready. I'm also getting hungry and Claire said she would start making dinner at 5:00 and it's almost 5:30." Sherry nudged Jake's shoulder with hers before she grabbed her son's car seat and opened the apartment door.

“Claire is cooking? Hell yes! Let go!”

#resident evil #sherry birkin #jake muller #jake x sherry #sherry x jake #post re6

[suratan-zir]

💌 | Forget about sims, lets learn about YOU! Tell us one fact about yourself, and then send this to 5 other Simblrs to do the same 👽 (I know you don't post about Sims these days <for obvious reasons>, but this is me just letting you know that if you need to vent and it makes you feel better in any way, it's appreciated)

Aww, thanks ❤️ Yes, I don't post sims anymore and this blog is no longer a simblr, sadly. But hey, everyone likes to talk about themselves, me too :D So thank you for sending this <3

This fact will not be war related.

edit: put everything under the cut

I spent a large part of my childhood in plaster casts/plaster bandages/whatever this thing is called in English. I heard that nowadays they don't use it and there is a more comfortable substitute?

For the first time I broke my leg at the age of seven. It happened at school, and the girl who was supposed to help me get to classroom (the teacher told her so) was running in front of me shouting "c'mon, just try to run, the pain will go away!" Yeah, her method didn't work.

And since then, bone fractures have become a new reality. It was happening time and time again, mostly with arms and legs. Although my new adult teeth were also breaking. I could eat something like a soft bread, suddenly find something hard in it - and it was a piece of my tooth.

One time I literally just leaned on my hand a little, felt sharp pain - a broken wrist. My "favorite", the stupidest bone fracture happened when I tried to move the fan, the tall kind, on the stand. I couldn't hold it still, it twisted with my hand still holding it and gravity broke my wrist.

it was supposed to be a went about how my father broke my ribs, but then I decided it would be too much for tumblr

It wasn't too sad though, because with some fractures I could study at home and not go to school for a looong time. Also I learned to write quite well with my left hand and to move around by jumping on one leg. Jumping was fun.

The doctors weren't sure what was causing the osteoporosis, they said I'm "growing too fast", even though I wasn't growing any faster than other kids.

As I grew older, it went away I guess? Can't say for sure, because as an adult I am not as active as I was as a child, therefore I don't get as many injuries, but anyway, I haven't broken anything in many years.

#ask #personal #thank u jellymeduza <3

[juniperhillpatient]

Sozin's Comet Part 4: Avatar Aang Re-Watch

Wow, I'm so sad that this rewatch is over. This show means so much to me, & I've had such a great time revisiting it. Alright - let's get into the final episode. The battles are underway & everything is as high stakes as possible. I'm just going to say that I know pretty much all of us have a lot of valid criticisms of the way that this show was wrapped up, but I still love it overall & I still think the final episode is just a fantastic conclusion with beautiful fight scenes & a lot to love.

The air battleship showdown is freaking intense. The scene where Sokka is hanging onto Toph's hand & he says "I don't think boomerang is coming back. This is the end," is just insanely scary & emotional - these kids really did think that they were about to die. Suki gets +2000 iconic behavior points for rescuing them. I loved "did boomerang come back?" "no! Suki did!"

[id: Suki smiling as she stands on an airship. end id]

I love that this finale really did give everyone their badass moments. Toph gets +1000 iconic behavior points for using metal bending to steer the ship, & Sokka gets +1000 for giving up his space sword to save Toph.

Aang Vs. Ozai, well, that's just a fantastic battle. The animation, the music, the voice acting, the fight itself it's all just so good. I mean, I have to give Aang a lot of iconic behavior points for saving the world & doing it on his terms. +3000.

[id: a scene from Ozai & Aang's final battle. Aang's tattoos are glowing, & he is yanking Ozai's goatee. end id]

I already said in my last recap post that I think that Aang finding a way to defeat Ozai while staying true to his cultural identity & maintaining air nomad values is the most satisfying conclusion the show could possibly come to. However, I would like to add that this is a pretty grim fate - possibly worse than death. In this show, bending isn't just a thing you can do, it's part of who you are. Aang taking Ozai's bending was not done lightly, nor should it have been. I just think that this was a very narratively satisfying way to conclude this epic final battle & while I totally get critiques of it, I don't think there's anything I would change. Maybe the lion turtles could've been brought up sooner? But I also liked the way energy bending was explained & it made sense to me, so that's like, actually me digging for something to critique. I loved this final battle.

The final Agni Kai...And its aftermath. Azula has completely lost it after almost killing her brother. She tries to stop Katara from helping Zuko, & goes after Katara herself instead. This battle is just absolutely haunting & beautiful. It's tragic, it's intense, it's beautifully animated, the music & voice acting is amazing, & it's just a well-written battle. I wish the show had leaned more into the fact that Azula & Katara are foils - younger sister prodigies who overshadow their insecure older brothers, with distant father figures & missing mothers.

[id: Katara putting chains on Azula's wrists. end id]

It's been said before (I can't remember by who) that Azula "loses to a better version of herself" & I think that's a harsh way to put it because it's not like Azula had a chance to be anything different than what she is (that's what's so tragic about her) but it's narratively true that the only one who could ever beat Azula is her foil who was given the chance to be strong in ways she could not. I remember holding my breath the first time I watched this showdown. It's just so beautiful & sad.

***Edit to say that I'm coming back because I totally forgot to give out points. Katara & Azula each get +2000 iconic behavior points for one of the most intense battles on any show ever.

I go back & forth constantly on how I feel about Zuko as Firelord at the show's conclusion but ultimately...I enjoyed the scene where he & Aang promise to restore peace, balance & love to the world the first time that I watched & I enjoyed it this time. It's a good scene, even if I could hem & haw about whether I like this conclusion for Zuko or not all day.

[id: Zuko & Aang, in the Fire Nation Palace. end id]

I really loved the parallel of "we're friends." "yeah, we are friends" compared to "do you think we could have been friends if we knew each other back then?" *cue Zuko fire-bending.* The way that Aang & Zuko have developed & grown & the way that their relationship has evolved really is the heart of the series.

Now - the part that I flat-out hate. I think I know when to be charitable to the writers versus when to call them out, & the scene between Zuko & Ozai? I didn't like it the first time that I watched & now I hate it. I'm not a big comics or graphic novel person, it's just a taste thing. And I'm pretty much against post-series extra content, no matter the fandom, just like, in general. I just think stories should be allowed to end. SO, the first time that I watched the show with limited knowledge of the comics? I was vaguely annoyed that we got this obvious advertisement for them instead of something else more meaningful in the final episode. But, I didn't know what the comics were like so I was kinda "whatever" about it. Now that I know how fucking stupid the comics are? Bruhhhh. Fuck this stupid scene.

We could've easily had a scene with Azula instead. And yes, Azula is my favorite character, but I also feel like I'm pretty reasonable about her arc & not like, totally blinded by loving her or anything. I'm not actually opposed to Azula having a somewhat tragic/ambiguous end. I don't think she & Zuko should've hugged it out after the Agni Kai or that she should've immediately been shown as besties with the Gaang or anything. I just think we should've gotten a scene where Zuko - maybe with Katara by his side - visits Azula, & it's shown that he does want to see her heal. THIS post from @theowritesfiction already discusses how this should have happened as well as a number of other valid critiques of the finale, but I wanted to bring this up too in my own post too.

A N Y W A Y. Yeah, that's really my biggest critique, & it's all about that one scene. I actually love the finale for the most part. I totally understand the critique I've seen pretty often from a lot of you that Mai & Ty Lee were shown as good guys way too fast but like...Guys, I WISH there was a Book 4. I do. There's so much that could've & should've been expanded on. But there isn't. So....yeah, I'm glad we saw Zuko & Mai happy together. Ty Lee becoming a Kyoshi Warrior was definitely out of nowhere but I still prefer seeing Ty Lee happy with new friends to just not appearing & viewers being left to wonder if she's rotting in prison. I pretty much think the writers did the best they could with the time they had there.

The final scene at the Jasmine Dragon, well, as someone who's made no secret out of my distaste for the Katara/Aang romance, you'd think I'd hate it. But I actually don't hate it at all (the scene itself that is, not the kiss, the kiss is stupid & out of nowhere.)

I like that we get to see a final scene of the Gaang all hanging out though. I thought it was a cute & funny lighthearted way to end the show. I loved the group just hanging out & the implication that visits like this will be often & they will all be friends for life. At heart, I'm a sap.

Anyway, I'm sad to say goodbye to this rewatch. It's been so much fun revisiting this show.

#sozin's comet part 4: avatar aang #sozin's comet part 4 #atla book 3 #atla re watch

[pikahlua]

Okay so...Dabi's Dance, the episode was spectacular, easily in the top three best episodes this season, hell it might even be No.1 and the voice acting really sold it, I could listen to Dabi talk for hours, the emotion and the build-up and how he just couldn't help himself and just had to start dancing from how excited he was, it was great. The animation followed that energy well too, really dynamic and I vaguely started thinking of JJK when I saw it.

I think my only complaint is that they cut out the 2nd shot of Twice reaching out and the dialogue over it, "I still gotta protect their happiness!" You can't have Skeptic asking Dabi to bow down to his editing skills, all "perfectly spliced" and not show what he was editing, because it sure wasn't "just the mere existence of the video" but the contents of the video. There's no flashback to Dabi holding something in his hand telling Hawks he should've been keeping both eyes on him when he says, "your cameras caught such good footage!" That tells us the cameras weren't just part of the room or Hawks' feathers, but something Dabi carried with him.

Because we saw all the footage go out when the war started and Hawks slice them off his wings. I don't know if anime-onlys will remember that. Or the fact that Twice's line there? Took place at a different moment than the "hand-reaching out" scene. Skeptic placed it over there because it made Twice seem more vulnerable. The audience doesn't even know that Dabi was encouraging Twice to "go wild" and "make quick work of those heroes out there, just you alone is enough" because even though that IS spoken at this time, it's cut out. And so is Dabi himself from the frame, they don't know Twice is reaching out for a high-five, it just looks like he's pleading for help and desperate to escape. Technically true, but there's more going on here. And Dabi uses that to color his hero-hating propaganda. He wasn't so fully honest about doing his best to protect Twice. Sure, he wanted Twice to get out alive, but he waited to record that line anyways? He waited outside since the start of the battle to throw back the line of "looks like sympathy tripped you up after all!" He had two agendas. Dirty Hawks' name on purpose and secure the damage Twice's quirk could do. Idk if any of this will be noticeable at first glance. He reallyyyy wanted his broadcast to have a certain vibe, this isn't a simple call-out for "justice." Even his manner of speaking is more subdued and polite, sad and hurting, like he's a concerned whistle-blower for society, while live-time Dabi is gleeful and saying things a little different from the video.

Dabi's Dance is brilliant because it re-contextualizes everything we know about him. The silent, rough-spoken, loner of the League being this clever, energetic guy is one hell of a reveal. Part of that re-contextualization is breaking down everything we assumed about him from previous arcs. He hates Endeavor and wants him dead? Yes, but also no. It's a mix of hate, love, and grief and he was worried about him actually dying in Kyushu. He's been scheming in the background all along, with Ending and StarServant, and dragging Skeptic everywhere as his new best friend. He tells Endeavor that "not everyone has to be pure and selfless, just you" even though he tries to call out heroes as a whole, acting like he wants everyone to "think more critically" and hold them all accountable, when really he's only had eyes for Endeavor.

It's just better to drag them all down, because as AFO said, he'll burn down the whole world for his grudges, and this way makes more of an impact, it puts all the blame on Endeavor, doing it now with the war. If people distrust all heroes, then they'll never give Endeavor the slightest chance. Because he's a "hero" they're all bad, he goes so far as to drag in Hawks because "he's someone Endeavor keeps in company" bad people hang out with other bad people, so might as well ruin the whole profession yeah? All cause Endeavor is a hero, they're all with him by association, and it's what little Touya was asking Natsuo. If Endeavor is like this, do all heroes do that? But does he REALLY believe that heroes "only protect themselves" when he claims that "heroes must always be ready to save a life" betting that Hawks would save Twice from his flames. (And I'm so baffled by this when he believed Hawks was genuinely capable of killing, he killed Jeanist after all, the autopsy proved it.)

Hardly matters, Toga saw the video, and she believed his every word. It's quite reminiscent to what she tells Ochako, that heroes think only themselves and the people they protect are considered "real people" they wouldn't protect anyone else. This is unrelated, but Dabi says "this is my present to you Endeavor" when he talks about digging up info on Hawks and I was hit by a flashback of him also referring to Shouto as a "present" in recent chapters when he thinks about if he has time to bring his corpse to Endeavor with his failing body. Thinking about this and his "come to see your pals get cremated?!" when the 2nd war starts, and I'm just a whee bit suspicious that someone really was honest when he tells Toga giving her Twice's blood was just a way to get back at Endeavor.

Whoever she hurts, the damage she does, everything in this 2nd war that's meant to be a much worse version of the 1st war with everything that didn't happen, happening, because "I guess I didn't bully them hard enough" it worked halfway, but now the villains will really make themselves a clean victory. No short-comings. What tentative trust was gained by the heroes will shatter by them again, completely. Dabi is such a good villain, I want people to see that. He's so sneaky, knowing how to bide his time and how to utilize his resources. He's more of an active villain than Shigaraki and that makes him fun. He's got a brain and full awareness of his actions, I love and hate his constantly changing words. Saying that "my fire that killed over 30 innocents is indeed Endeavor's fire" "look at that Endeavor, another one burnt up by your flames!' before going "haha way to state the obvious! stay out of this, this is a family affair!" when Deku says "you aren't Endeavor!" when the whole world gets dragged into this "family affair" as per Jeanist's words. He's just SO AWARE and having a blast controlling the narrative, and I just like and enjoy that more than a villain being possessed by AFO who can no longer think for themselves, who never really got to even in his own planning. I hope people watching the newer episodes see this because he didn't just spontaneously decide to be like this, he's serious when he says he planned and thought about it for years. It's easy to hear the words, it's something else to think back on his every scene and see, why when and how.

How did you fit this many words into a single ask?

#my hero academia manga spoilers #final showdown spoilers #ask pika #anon ask #dabi #go off anon lol

[cookinguptales]

I’m so glad we will officially get the new episode tonight. The week between episode 6 & 7 was no fun at all. Usually I looove seeing all the fanart and reading all the different thoughts in between episodes. But this time I tried to stay away from everything in fear of getting spoiled. ☹️ Stupid leak.

Yeah. And the fact that we may or may not have had a leak of parts of 9&10 makes you worried to look anywhere. I wish I at least knew if there was a real leak or not so I'd know how careful to be.

It's so bizarre. I've never been in a fandom where the leaks were this bad. I've never experienced anything like it. It makes me feel so bad for the creators. I don't think a lot of people understand how psychologically taxing it is when your work leaks. Some of that is because it can materially affect your career... Like even if someone is gonna watch/rewatch later, those same-day numbers are crucial. If even one person puts off watching the official release for a day or two because there's less urgency, that's starting to fuck up numbers.

I mean, I work in publishing, not tv, but I've seen authors get royally screwed because their book release was fucked up. Leaks or booksellers putting it on the shelf too early or people from one country buying it from another country with a different release date... Often the consumption numbers are monitored during a very specific period and if superfans are obtaining the media outside of that period, it won't be counted. (See: tv ratings, first-day streaming numbers, social media engagement numbers during premieres, presales, bestseller lists, etc.) And then if those numbers aren't reflecting the reality of how much is being consumed, it doesn't really matter. Those are still the numbers that are going to be used for negotiating contracts in the future.

Plus, like... it's just emotionally taxing to see your work leaked. Maybe only part of it leaked and it makes your work look bad and you can't adequately defend it without spoiling everything or breaking an NDA. Maybe it's leaked in a form that isn't so great (like a low quality video, an unedited draft, etc.) and you hate that this will be people's crucial first impression. But really, the worst part is no longer knowing who to trust. I know a fairly big-time author who had a trusted friend read over one of her books to edit it... then found out her friend had passed that unedited draft around to a bunch of her friends. She realized that her friend didn't respect her or her livelihood and mostly just wanted bragging rights. Now she's extremely wary about making new friends or asking for help with her manuscripts, and it's honestly really sad.

I imagine it'd be even worse if you're working on a production with so many moving parts. Do you trust your fellow actors? Fellow writers? The editors? The people working in your office? The friends who come in your house? I can't imagine the kind of tension you'd be working under when you know that leaks just keep getting out and you don't know where they're coming from. : /

And then, y'know, people are like "well, if I watch it same-day as well, that's not hurting anything, right?" but people wouldn't post leaks if other people didn't watch them, and creating demand for that kind of thing is... bad.

Like I don't like leaks from a spoiler standpoint, sure, but you start to gain a greater appreciation for how bad a leak can be when you're comforting an author crying at their kitchen table because their book release got fucked and they have contract negotiations this year...

tbh, I don't understand the mentality behind leaks at all. I have access to a lot of media often years before it comes out (between my editing work and also the paid tv/movie focus groups I often do) and I can't imagine leaking it. I guard the privacy of my clients pretty zealously. No saving unpublished manuscripts to the cloud, no offering identifying info while I'm working, etc. It's actually something I find kind of stressful, the idea that I could accidentally ruin someone else's livelihood if I'm not careful enough... The idea of doing it on purpose or through carelessness makes me cringe...

And then if I did do something by accident, like those WWDITS auditions saved with the wrong privacy settings, the idea of people finding that fuck-up and passing it around instead of letting me know so I could take it down... Like damn, when I think about the people who may never work in this industry again because people just wanted to find info on their favorite show faster... Genuinely kind of upsetting.

That said, the constant leaks, the way that no one secured the usernames for characters used onscreen (which allowed for the Colin's YT hoax), etc. have me like. Bro, who is in charge here? Y'all have a fandom now and you're still acting like a baby show on your first season. They really probably need to hire someone for this.

#tbh I felt kind of bad about the gentle ribbing about the Colin CGI fuckup in the trailer this week #after it was taken down #genuinely hope no one got in trouble over that one #wwdits #replies #wwdits s4 spoilers

[buddyapologist]

i. don't even know how to put everything into words. i finished painful today and im just. fuck man. every time i play it, new edition aside, i get something more and it just hits me so hard

spoilers below for new stuff

so first of all i got the terry campfire scene which made me FUCKING INSANE OH MY GOD first of all i love terry's myriad of facial expressions, he really goes from :) to :( to :D so fast and i feel like this is the first time brad's actually admitted anything like this at all because he has to act like he knows what he's doing at all times, and this is like the ONE TIME he feels safe enough to be honest, and it's just so much!!!!! AND THE FUCKING!!!!! HOW THE LISA HALLUCINATIONS FADE!!!!!! AND YOU'RE STILL WELL RESTED DESPITE THE CONVO!!!!!!! AND THE HALLUCINATIONS DON'T COME BACK AFTERWARDS!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCK DUDE!!!!!! i don't ship them but i can only imagine how happy you are if you do!!! regardless it was. it was so fucking good!! i don't even care that it means brad telling buddy he's never been hugged before is kind of a lie lmao he's still never been hugged by a family member so that's something

i also got two other campfire scenes - three of them turning the fuck up to some jams, and bo trying to play his banjo and missing his brother. :( sad stuff

i already talked about the borders but i love them so much!!!!! i love how they change based on the location!

part of me wanted to try finally recruiting buckets but i just couldn't do it lmao i'm too much of a softie to keep sacrificing my guys to RR, but one day i'll shove down all of my guilt and do it. i did recruit basically everyone else except for rooster bc i just gave him his chicken back bc i'm nice, crisp bc i just gave him his boyfriend back bc i'm nice, clint bc i never had enough mags, and jack because i just forgot about him LOL but i think i got everyone else, including some guys i hadn't gotten before.

i had my usual angry sob fest at the fact that TO BEAT THE GAME YOU HAVE TO KNOCK BOTH OF YOUR KIDS UNCONSCIOUS, and i'll also never not cry at how the marty fight has "marty armstrong/father" and the brad fight in joyful has "nobody/dad". gghghghghghhghg!!!! i didn't notice many differences, i put terry in my final party because i wanted to HURT MYSELF but all of his dialogue was the same. nothing wrong with that, i was just wondering about it beforehand.

so that's playthru #1 down (of the DE, i've probably played at least 10 times, maybe more), i'll start joyful tomorrow, and i'm gonna replace painful however long it takes to get all of the campfire convos i want!! i especially want to FINALLY figure out how old everyone is! i thought i had something with nern but NOOOOOOO and like i have my own theories and stuff but man i don't fucking know we have so little to go off of

anyway 10/10, shattered me into pieces all over again, can't wait for playthru #2

#avery.txt #lisaposting

[iloveyou-writers]

Hi, sourpatch friends. I'm in need of some encouragement.

I write both fanfics and novels. I enjoy writing them both, and I think I have a lot of original ideas in both. But my fanfics are usually, how to say this, they're not very well planned. And I don't need them to be, because if I didn't write fanfics, I wouldn't create anything. Not just because it's what got me started, but because, as a creator, I really need to create at all times, and I can work on my fanfics even when I don't feel like touching my novels. They are really helpful to me in so many ways (and I simply enjoy writing them too!)

I am happy with the way things are right now. Of course I would like my fanfics to be better and I'm working for that to happen but normally, their best part is that I don't have to write for a judging audience.

I put a lot of work on my fanfics. If I had to be honest, I spend much more time on my fanfics, but a novel is a whole other thing. Even if I wanted, I wouldn't be able to put the same effort I do into a fanfic. Not because fanfics are worse or anything, they simply don't work the same way.

Sorry for rambling so much about the details. But the problem is, a lot of my readers know I'm writing novels. This is not something I announced, it just naturally got known. (Though I don't have a large audience, it's mostly happened in author's notes and conversations in comments.) And recently someone commented on one of my fics about how they can't imagine how my novels must be if the easier stuff is "like this." It just broke my heart. I feel better now (this happened a few days ago) but this really hindered all my desire to write.

I went into my fanfic account and just tired to edit everything but of course that quickly got overwhelming and I gave up. I am filled with thoughts about how I'm wasting my time with both. I'm trying to convince myself that this is enough that I'm enjoying myself but all that I can think about is if everybody else reading my fanfics are thinking the same thing.

So I would appreciate some encouragement on this, as I can't "allow" myself to write right now. And thank you for your time, really. Just sharing this with someone helped my emotions tremendously.

Wow. First of all: how cruel and thoughtless does a person have to be to say something like this? I can understand giving constructive tips on how to improve, but to just flat-out be like "if your writing is like this..." that must have stung, and I'm so sorry someone was that rude to you.

Ignore them. They're probably not writers themselves or they're just stuck up ones. Some people just go online to hurt people and cause drama. It sounds like this might be one of those people. I'd recommend deleting the comment so you're not reminded of it every time you log on to write on that site (I'm not sure if that was here or on another writing site or what).

Remember that what makes writing "good" is completely subjective. That person may not have liked your writing, but it doesn't mean that every member of your audience won't like it. Sad to say, people that dislike something tend to be more vocal about it generally than people that like it. It's really sad but it's true. You can have 50 people read something, have 40 of them like it and 10 not. More than likely you'll have 2-3 comments from those that liked it and 4-6 from those that didn't. It's messed up but people tend to be more vocal about what they dislike than what they like. Keep your head up and remember if one person commented disliking it, it means that many more silent readers liked it.

Even if no one liked your writing, it is never a waste of time. You're honing your skill. You're sharing a piece of your soul with the world. I know it can be difficult to want to continue sharing that piece when people are shitting all over it, but you are beautiful and a blessing on this earth for doing that. Keep your head high and be proud of the fact that you had enough guts to share your writing.

Remember that person is probably miserable with their lives and lashing out at a stranger because they're too chicken shit to do it to someone they know irl. It says more about them than it says about you. I know that phrase may feel cliche but it's used so much for a reason.

Be proud of yourself. You're doing incredible things by sharing your creativity with the world. Don't let some hater squash that beauty within you. You are amazing. Even the worst of writers have something to bring to the world of creativity and a unique voice to share. So don't let some stupid person silence yours.

Thank you for sharing this and I really hope this helps you feel better.

🤍 H

#asks #Anonymous #writing advice #writing tips

[jayne-hecate-writer]

Forgiveness and Art

As I type this, I am delving into my Goth Rock record collection, or rather CD collection, because I can't afford the sort of vinyl player that would give me the sound that such genre deserves. Why am I mentioning my love of Goth Rock you may ask? Go on, ask... I can wait.

Goths love Vampyres. Well, all of the Goths I know love Vampyres, Edgar Allen Poe and ravens. All of which, I have to admit, have a soft place in my dark obsidian heart. Currently I am listening to the Creatures and I adore their dark suffocating sound, in fact I have loved the Creatures since seeing them perform live on the Jools Holland show back in the 90s and before you ask... Yes, I am just another sad old Goth who now uses hair dye to cover up the grey, rather than to change from dark brown to black hair.

So why this talk of Goth culture? Well to side track again, I only really dabble in Goth culture. Sure, I have the velvet, the lace, and the obligatory Sisters of Mercy albums. But the majority of my music collection is Black Metal, mainly from Norway and Sweden. Black Metal talks to my heart and my heart sings back with all of the chaos, bleak soundscapes and the darkness that I truly love Black Metal for. It also happens to tie in a lot of my more esoteric beliefs about the world, humanity and death. However, when Black Metal starts to sway into National Socialism and Nazism, we violently part ways. I do not align myself in anyway with of those shitty beliefs and I do not support those bands who do. One of my favourite albums of all time is Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk, by Emperor and printed firmly on the back cover is the statement of intent, “Emperor perform Black Metal art exclusively”. They may have had a couple of dodgy members over the years, but to my knowledge, they do not actively promote Nazism.

Anyway, and finally to get back on track and horribly abuse an Oxford comma, I have done something this week that I never thought I would do, despite knowing that it needed doing. A few years ago, I brought to the world, a piece of work I referred to as my first novel, a book entitled Leticia: Sunset Hunter. This was the first time I released an extended piece of writing onto the unwitting public and I had dreams of huge sales, movie rights and Hollywood beating down my door. That was in 2014 or there about and I can report that nothing came of it. I managed to sell a handful to kind friends who politely said it was enjoyable, but neglected to mention that it was badly edited, poorly formatted and incomprehensible garbage. As it stands, Leticia is a a part of my history that almost immediately afterwards I was deeply embarrassed by. It did not look like a professional book, the cover looked like crap and the process of formatting from my computer to Kindle did some strange and terrible things to my work. I was heart broken and this was made worse when I got some forthright feedback from someone close who chose not to spare my feelings. Utterly shattered by the breakdown of my work, I disowned Leticia and stopped working on the sequel, leaving the story in limbo.

As an artist, I seek to make everything perfect. If my work is not perfect, I start to hate it, yet I have had no formal training, I cannot afford to pay an editor and when it comes to failure, I am great with the excuses. Perfection is unattainable and the pursuit of perfection is a journey to damnation. I know why I have this drive to be perfect, despite my own self sabotage and it lies in my dark and murky past, of trying to put words to the feelings of isolation and abandonment I had as a child. I recently acquired an address for someone who left my life nearly forty years ago and was toying with contacting them to ask why they left. In the end I decided that I did not need to know the answers and chasing them down was neither healthy or a positive use of my time. With this revelation, came the understanding that I was also seeking the unattainable in my art and that I needed to learn to forgive myself. Worse still was to actually try to be kind to myself and accept that I am an artist who has developed over the years. You have no idea how hard this continues to be for me and the dark little part of myself that does not like me very much, is horribly critical of all forms of my art. I know where this part of me comes from and I am endeavouring to love this little part of me, so that it heals and stops hating me. Fank Thuck for therapy!

As a part of that healing, I opened the file on my hard drive entitled Leticia and I had a look inside. Despite the years of hatred I had poured on this novel, it was not as bad as I had thought it to be. It was written by a me that no longer exists, a past me that was hurt to the core, a part of me that had not read feminism, a part of me that had not attended five years or more of writing group. In short, it was basic and I have to admit that I write with greater skill now, but at heart, the story is not all that bad. In secret, I am actually rather fond of the people in the story and I can feel the hurt flowing from me through those pages, because I did to this book, what was done to me forty years ago.

So hitching up my skirts, grabbing the bull by the horns and many other over used metaphors, I started to fiddle (not in a Saville Way!) with the text formatting. I made a conscious decision not to change too much, other than correcting a couple of glaring mistakes because the me who wrote that prose was a kind person who was looking for love. So I gave that younger me the love I was desperate for and said well done for what you have achieved. I then reformatted the whole book, changed the font and font size for the paperback version and put together the bones of a hardback version, with a new cover.

Leticia: Sunset Hunter is not the sort of book I would write now, but I am learning to be proud of her. I understand now why bands would say that each album was better than the last as they increased in ability and became confident in their skills. I too have done this and thus, book two is now with some a trusted friend who is proof reading my final version, looking for obvious mistakes and basic errors. Thus far, the feedback has been positive and I hope to release the sequel to Leticia later this year. I even have a title for it and it is this. David: Dark Walker.

Picking up directly from the end of Leticia, it continues the story of my misplaced Vampyrican and his tiny family of Vampyres. I am sure that in Ten years I will look back on David and wonder what I was thinking, but I can tell you now that I love these characters, despite their imperfections. The story is gritty, dark and blood soaked. There is political violence, open warfare and dark technology, mixed in with a whole group of new characters, some of whom are going to make it into book three. Yes, you read that right. I am starting to plan book three in my Vampyrican Series. With a working title that I am not yet ready to release, I plan to take the story to another level again, filling it with all of my love, hopelessness and compassion.

So as I listen to the Sisters of Mercy as I write this section, I can honestly say that I love my Vampyres once again. Leticia may be dead, murdered by her enemies, but David lives for now and who knows what will come next? Maybe a prophet and a whole new religion to hit the streets of Bailin? Maybe an end to the civil war and the destruction of the ruling power on the planet of Vampyrica. As for David, I cannot tell you if he survives to make it into the next book, you will just have to wait for a few more months and then read the second book to find out.

In the mean time, Leticia: Sunset Hunter has been slightly improved, she has a new cover and will soon be available in hardback. I would urge you to read this book, but as you do so, remember that the person who wrote it was desperate for love and had dreams of being a writer, long before she became a writer. I am a writer now, not because I made it to great success, but because I accepted that I am an artist and all art is valid in its own way. Maybe someone somewhere will read my book and be inspired to write their own, probably much better book that they too can love, right up until they face their own disappointment and improvement in skill.

You can find Leticia: Sunset Hunter on Amazon using this link or by searching for it on line. A Google search actually brings it up and shows you some basic information about the book. I am still amazed both with and by the wonders of technology that allows me to publish my work, but finding images of my book on a Google search does give me a little kick. Maybe Leticia, despite her failings and her flaws, deserves some love after all?

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