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evie-sturns · 3 months

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ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ꜱᴛᴜʀɴɪᴏʟᴏ

summary: you're staying at your best friend's house, the sturniolos, for the weekend, until one night you can't sleep, so you decide to go for a dip in the hot tub.. but matt's already there.

contains: smut, virgin!matt, teasing, hot tub sex, semi-public?

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i roll over in bed, the clock on the wall reads, 11:57pm. i've been lying here for 3 hours with my eyes shut, but im too energised, i mean, the sturniolos and i have had a crazy few days, resulting in me staying the weekend.

i hoist myself up out of bed, flicking on the lamp as i dig through my tote bag for a small bikini, afterall its almost midnight, none of them would be in the hot tub at this time.

i open my bedroom door, tiptoeing past chris, nick and matts room down the stairs.

i creak open the backdoor, stepping out into the icy air which hits my barely covered body. i turn the corner to the hottub,

matt's sitting inside, his head tilted back, his eyes shut.

hes shirtless, wearing nothing but swim shorts. he doesnt notice me yet, but im just kind of.. admiring him?

the way he looks tonight is just different, ive known him for a few years but ive never felt like this towards him.

"matt?" i ask softly, being careful not startle him.

his eyes open slowly, looking up at me.

his cheeks instantly flush red, he opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. "can i come.. in?" i ask, my eyebrows furrowing as matt just looks me up and down.

he quickly runs a hand through his hair before nodding "yeah yeah!" he says frantically.

i climb in next to him, matt just looks straight ahead. "are you alright?" i ask, adjusting the strap to my bikini top.

we've been talking and laughing for about 15 minutes, matt's still been nervous.

"and my friend, lana, she went for a job interview and came out of it with the job all because she blowed the manager off" i laugh, my straps accidentally slipping down again teasingly.

matt looks down at his lap before shifting uncomfortably, he clears his throat. my eyes dart down, its hard to see through the water, but matts got an obvious tent in his shorts.

"im sorry.." matt mumbles out in a whisper.

"why do ya think thats happened?" i ask casually, my hand dipping underwater and grazing his thigh.

matt stays silent, he looks horrified with himself.

"im so sorry just give me five minutes in the bathroom i can come right back-" matt rambles but i cut him off but straddling his lap.

matts breath hitches in his throat "oh-"

"do you think you got hard from.. me?" i say seductively, looking down at him.

"i'm sorry." matt says, his eyes fixated on my chest.

"was it from.. these straps?" i say, pulling down the straps on my bikini.

matt nods nervously,

"you can take them off if you want, i mean we are alone." i whisper.

matt reaches his hand out from the hot water, pulling off my bikini top, his tongue slides out of his mouth to dampen his lips as his cheeks go a dark red.

"why are you so scared matt, its not like youve never seen tits before" i joke, but matt tenses under me.

"matt..?" i say, dragging out the 'a'.

"uh.. i'm a virgin so.." matt says, his voice barely audible.

my eyebrows raise, a silence fills the night air.

"i know, we don't have to do anything.. i dont want to make you.. teach me?" matt rambles again, i cup his cheeks and pull him into a gentle kiss, shutting him up.

"you ramble when you're nervous.." i say, toying with the strings of his shorts, i get off his lap and sit next to him. the water is still and clear, illuminated by a blue led light.

i tug at the waistband of his shorts, revealing a small section of his base.

"oh fuck." matt quietly whimpers out.

“i’ll take it gently okay?” i assure him before pulling down his swim shorts,

i never knew matt was this big.

my cheeks flush as i climb back onto his lap, sitting just on his thighs as his dick rests on my stomach. i put my hands on matt’s damp shoulders before hovering just above his tip.

“please..” matt says, his voice hoarse

“please what?” i tease, pulling off my small bikini bottoms and discarding them somewhere in the water.

matt grips my waist, his hands firm against my skin. “please ride me..” matt says, clearly embarrassed.

i slowly sink down onto him, the warm water sloshing around us. matt’s grip on my waist tightens as he lets out pathetic noises.

“you- you okay?” i ask, burying my head on his shoulder as i slowly start to bounce up and down.

“i’m-..” matt struggles to speak, i let out a soft laugh.

“you don’t have to answer now sweetheart.” i whisper into his hair, picking up the pace.

it’s only been a few minutes, but i can tell matt’s close, his fingers are digging into me so harshly i know i’ll have bruises tomorrow.

his groans fill the night air, along with small splashes coming from the water. i clench around him, “i’m so close..” i warn, the knot in my stomach snaps as i orgasm around him, i feel matt tense so i quickly pull off of him, stroking him as he paints my hands with white.

“oh my god.. fuck” matt says, squeezing his eyes shut, he reaches out a hand and grabs my shoulder for support.

i run my thumb over his already sensitive tip, earning a gentle moan from matt. i pull up his swim shorts slowly.

“shit..” matt says, his eyes peeling open slowly.

“you okay?” i ask again, tying up my bikini.

“i’m-.. really good?” matt says, rubbing his eyes.

after a few minutes of talking and joking around, i stand up, climbing out of the hot tub onto the cold deck.

“same time tomorrow?” i smile jokingly back at matt.

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was a full task to bring myself to finish this 😭😭 hope y’all like it though

I also genuinely can’t tell if it chris or matt in the first picture by the title, but you get the point

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic

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watersunairmoon · 2 months

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cw: dom!(?)sukuna, choking, smut, degrading, kind of sweet sukuna at the end (cause im delusional) (i could fix him okay)

okay but modern!au Sukuna would totally be into some choking and impact play. Not only on you but on him as well. Dont get it twisted though, he’s still 100% the one in control, but i think he’d like it just cause it gives him that extra little shot of adrenaline to fuck you even harder.

The first time you realize he likes your hands around his throat was a complete accident.

Hes leaned back against the bed in your shared apartment, blankets and sheets scattered everywhere, nearly falling into the floor from all the fucking and rolling around going on between you two for the last 30 minutes. Youre already out of it at this point, eyes rolling into the back of your head while you bounce and grind on his length, the only things grounding you are your hands pressed firmly against his chest to support your body and his fingers leaving a bruising grip on your hips.

“mmm, ‘kuna, y-youre so deep like this” you whimper out, momentarily glancing down only to see the wide smirk plastered on Sukunas face. He always looked so good like this, eyes lidded, filled with desire, and body covered with a light sheen of sweat that seemed to only enhance his well defined body. He looked delicious.

“yeah?,” he replied, cocking his head to the side a bit as he glanced up at you, his large hands on your hips tightening as they helped you slam your hips against his. “y’ takin this cock so well princess,” he almost moaned, feeling you clench around his length from his praise. “but you can do better than that, hmm? Go faster.” Dominance laced in his tone, you were in no position to disobey, but your thighs were already burning from the workout, shaky and weak as you kept your current pace.

“mmm… but ‘k-kuna, im tired…” you whined, looking down at him with a small pout, even slowing down slightly to try to prove your point. As if it wasnt already obvious, Sukuna could clearly feel your thighs tremble with every move you made, but pushing your body to its limit was part of the fun, no? He loved to see how much you could take.

As he removed his hands from your hips, you sighed in relief, thinking he was going to switch positions and give you a break, but this thought was quickly proven incorrect when you felt his grip on your jaw, tugging you down so you were face level with him. A gasp left your lips and your eyes widened, looking dead into his. Not an ounce of amusement behind them as he glared at you.

“Did i ask if you were fucking tired?” his grip on your jaw tightened.

“Ah! N-no i-“

“What did i say? hm?”

“You said g-go fa-“

“Go faster. Thats right. Not bitch and complain. Now get to it. And dont make me repeat myself again.” And with that he pushed you back up, one hand returning to its rightful place on your waist, and the other lounging behind his head, watching you expectantly. “whining like a fucking whore…” he grumbled, loud enough to ensure you could hear. He couldnt help but to grin a bit, feeling your walls tighten and pulse around him, yet the pout on your face remained as evident as ever, lower lip poked out and eyes glossy. “Oh, dont look at me like that baby,” he cooed, looking up at you with an almost taunting expression. “I can feel your tight little cunt squeeze me every time i get mean…” His hand on your waist slowly made its way to your lower stomach, placing his palm flat against it and reaching his thumb down to rub little circles on your clit, causing a light moan to escape your throat. “Thats how i know you really are a little slut. Now be a good one and do as your told, yeah?”

God, he had such a filthy mouth, but youd be lying if you said you didnt love every second of it. Every word and groan that ever left his mouth during moments like these always went straight to your core, upping the wetness that was already dripping down his balls and making a mess on the sheets below you. So of course, you do what youre told, starting with a roll and grind of your hips, relishing in the way his dick massages the deepest parts inside of you before you start bouncing once again. Skin hitting skin with little pap! sounds every time your ass meets his thighs. And just as he demanded, you go faster than before, rapidly losing yourself in the feeling of him rearranging your organs.

“sh-shit, ‘s so good” you slurred, nails slightly digging into his chest from how fucking good he felt. Even with the aching of your thighs, you couldnt deny that riding him like this felt amazing. You tossed your head back, more little mewls and gasps left your mouth, so focused on his length that you didnt even notice how sweaty your hands were getting. With every ricochet of your hips, they slipped a little farther up his chest, making their way past his sharp collar bones, until they were quite literally around his throat, using his neck as support for your body weight.

You could feel Sukuna starting to lift his hips to meet yours half way, deepening the thrusts and making them feel more intense than before, making your eyes roll back and your moans grow louder. You almost didnt even notice the moan Sukuna let out, and honestly you probably wouldnt have if it was a normal occurrence. Sukuna usually did make small noises during sex, mainly just grunts and small groans, but this was a moan, like you had never heard from him before. A fucked out grin made its way to your face, proud of yourself for pulling such a sound from him, but when you finally dropped your chin to meet his eyes, you would have sworn you could have came right then.

Hands wrapped tightly around his neck, face a bit red from the lack of oxygen, pupils blown out, and his lips parted in a small ‘o’, you were shocked to see that he seemed to be… enjoying? getting choked? You really had to do a double take over his features to make sure what you saw wasnt just some sex-induced illusion that you were having. Sukuna had never mentioned being against being choked, but with his dominant personality you would have never thought hed enjoy it this much.

“S-Sukuna-“

“Harder.”

This caught you off guard even more, eyes widening and slowing your hips down to take in what he just requested of you. “Wha-“

“If youre gonna choke me, then fucking do it right” he growled, narrowing his eyes at you. He must have been a little embarrassed at this new kink the two of you had discovered, seeing as the more you looked at him with this ‘holy shit no way’ look you had plastered on your face, the more he seethed. He took this moment to bend his knees, placing his feet flat on the bed and thrusting up harshly into you, making you cry out and fall forward a bit. Sukuna grabbed your thoat, pulling you down to the same spot he had you in earlier, this time squeezing your neck brutally between both of his large hands, and continuing to use your current position to piston his hips into you at an inhuman rate, making your jaw drop and your brows furrow with pleasure as you looked at him.

“You too fuckin stupid to know how to do that? huh? Gotta be reminded what it feels like to get choked the fuck out?” He held you right in front of his face while he roughly fucked into you, broken moans and fragments of his name falling from your lips from his aggressive hips and how tight his grip on your neck was. “Yeah baby, use that dumb little brain of yours. You remember now? Huh? Fucking do it.” He spat at you, pulling you to meet his lips for a sloppy kiss.

You quickly tightened your grip, both of you know moaning into each others mouths, choking each other while he jackhammered into your cunt. He broke the kiss to tip his head back, closing his eyes and getting lost in this feeling of the lack of oxygen flowing to his brain and how wet you were getting from all of this, his own precum adding to the sticky mess of bodily fluids between you two. He was just as surprised as you were that he was into this, and when your hands had first slid around his neck, he almost made you move them. But even he couldnt deny that it felt good, and not to mention you looked so hot on top of him, he really didnt have the heart or will to interrupt- and now he was extremely glad he didnt.

High pitched squeals and squeaks forced their way through your throat from the abuse he was showing your core, absolutely no mercy as he fucked his way past your cervix, causing your legs to shake violently and that familiar feeling in your lower belly to grow with every passing second. Sukuna could easily tell from your heat tightening around him so much it was slowing his thrusts down, and from how much harder you were squeezing his neck without even realizing. But the asphyxiation was just riling him on even more, biting his lip between his teeth as he watched you start to crumble.

“‘Kuna! A-ah! ohmygod-d!” Your body began to twitch, hips now moving against his to bring you closer to your high even faster, chasing after it. Neither of you loosening your grips on the other, making the whole thing feel like some drug induced high, too caught up in your own pleasures to even think about lightening up your holds.

“F-fuck! Suckin’ me in baby…” Sukuna choked out, also getting dangerously close to his orgasm. “Cum all over this dick, y-yeah, c’mon princess…” He switched the pace of his hips, once moving quickly in and out in and out, were now punching deep, hard, slow thrusts. “C-cum for me”

About 6 deep thrusts in, you finally let go, cumming all over his shaft with the most pathetic cry of his name, a tear or two even rolling down your cheek from how good it felt and how hard he had been holding your throat. As you came, your small hands around his windpipe twitched, releasing their tight grip and allowing all the oxygen to flow to his brain at once. Between this, and feeling your velvety walls contract around him, he couldnt hold it anymore, pumping you full of his seed, moaning, and holding you tightly in place as he fucked his cum deep into your cervix, his clutch on your esophagus not letting up, causing your orgasm to drag out as well.

When he finally finished, he let go, allowing your body to fall against him as you both heaved to catch your breath, chests moving against each other as you gasped oxygen. Your body still lightly shaking as you clung to him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. Sukuna snakes his arms around your waist, holding you close to him as you both came down, rubbing your back lovingly as you did. He may be rough in bed, but that doesnt change the fact that youre his love, and he wants to make sure you still know that after all the degrading and aggressiveness. You couldnt help but to giggle a bit as you reflected on what just happened.

“So…”

“Dont. Dont start. Just lay here and be quiet. Dont ruin it.”

“I never would have thought youd like bein-“

“Yeah your done. Hope you enjoyed it cause its never happening again.”

…

it definitely happened again.

// damn my asphyxiation kink really popped out in this one. sorry guys. if this does well i might do a second part with the impact play stuff… we will see. hope you enjoyed though! likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated <3 and if you guys have any requests id love to hear them! i cant promise ill get to everything cause i kinda just do this for fun but i would like to write more! so send em my way babies. have a good day!

#sukuna smut #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #sukuna scenarios #jjk #jujustsu kaisen x reader #sukuna simp #jujutsu kaisen #jujustu kaisen fanfic

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anonymouscheeses · 3 months

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Obvious shit I noticed part 3 (spoilers for welcome to heaven)

Look at her! "Teehee"

Also she's nervous! Foreshadowing omg 🤯

STICKERS! Two pride stickers and a cute donut. Gives me an idea to draw Chaggie at a donut shop while everything is burning down <3 (I'll probably do it but if any artist wants to as well go ahead!)

*CHOKES ON COFFEE* I LOVE THEM. I'M SORRY I GET SO GIDDY WHEN THEY HAVE EVEN THE SMALLEST INTERACTION BUT UGHHH I NEED MORE, IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH 🙏🙏

KISSY! MWA! *SCREAMS INTO THE VOID*

Vivzie give me more, moar now. MOAR

DAMN. SHE CAN THROW- or maybe it just exaggerates the perspective in this frame but still- ZAMNNN

Cherri x Sir Pentious fans RISE UP.

I wasn't ever really a fan of it myself but I always thought it was CUTE. Like 3 seconds before this part I was already begging for them to kiss 😭

More foreshadowing!

AAAAAA CREEPY BIRD THINGS!!!

Oh wait- Sera's hot and Emily's already adorable

If heaven don't look like what this is in the show, I DONT WANT IT! (THATS A JOKE PLEASE DON'T SMITE ME)

JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND VAGGIE!! Can I just say how much I love Vaggie's face expressions? Not just here but like all the time. She's just made to be so exaggerated, out of all of them I thought it would be Charlie who would have the most dramatic faces but Vaggie wins it for me. I JUST GIGGLE SO HARD WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS BAHAHAH

Okay yeah. It's very obvious now. Vaggie is definitely an ex-exterminator. They don't close in on Charlie here so it's made to subtly nudge the attention to Vaggie. HOW DID THEY IMMEDIATELY NOTICE IT WAS HER THO??

Hot-

That's it.

SHARE THAT MOTHUSSY GIRL-

YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE GREW OUT ALL OF THAT HAIR?!? YEAH ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THEN BUT STILL AJJSJD.

But overall the design is pretty meh. I always loved the idea of short hair Vaggie and even have seen art of it but it's just yknow, alright. Reminds me of Cassandra from Tangled: the series. IM LISTENING TO ONE OF THE SONGS RIGHT NOW HELPPP

THIS SCENE HERE! WOOOOO! SO GLAD WE KNOW WHEN AND WHERE THEY FIRST MET!! Wish we got it extended tho. And also probably push it to next episode so it would have a better impact(atleast I think thats when they'll have the duet). BUT WHATEVER SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING! or uh whatever

Vaggie must've been a bit terrified at first. The only sinner she ever sent mercy to was a child. Then to see someone who to her is an adult sinner who just looks really human, that must be crazy. BUT THEN IF SHE WAS TOLD THAT CHARLIE WAS ACTUALLY THE PRINCESS OF HELL? HOOOO, LOCK IN AND STEAL HER. THAT'S SOME WATTPAD SHIT. Also, I wonder how long Charlie thought of redeeming sinners. It would make sense to be after meeting Vaggie, since it could have been a wake up call to the fact not all sinners are bad people. Even though Vaggie isn't a sinner technically, Charlie didn't know that at the time. But maybe Charlie was always like this but just needed to meet someone who could start her dream with her. Long rant uhhh

Haha penis 🫵

SCRAP WHATEVER I SAID IN THE FIRST PART. THEY PROBABLY DO FUCK- OR DONT?? I DONT KNOW- ANYWAY LESBIAN SEX (BOTTOM TEXT). WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??? SOMEONE PULL THE TRIGGER.

Lute looks like a basic asf anime gorl. Adam doesn't ever take his helmet off, or maybe he just can't. OH HE'S DOING THE GAY SIGN 💅💅 Very appropriate for what he's saying

Mentor, apprentice. I love that Husk is just trying to help Angel grow but isn't going to force him into it if he doesn't want to.

Im not a fan of huskerdust and think they'd be better friends as I can't imagine a relationship with them at all. But it's still nice and they are supportive of eachother so that's like- yknow. Basic rules. Or something like that. (HELP. I ruined it all at the last part)

I- girl- WHY IS SHE GROWLING?? GRR GRR RR (INSERT TWILIGHT SAGA HERE)

VAGGIE'S FACE. SENDS ME. WHO GAVE HER THESE OVERDRAMATIC EXPRESSIONS, I APPLAUD YOU RGAGAGA

Ooo... I didnt like this part at all... Instead of making the choice she just runs off. Then because the plot demands it, Adam says nothing. Kinda whish she atleast avoided the question, maybe in some way that would require actual thinking? For a character like Vaggie, she could choose either way and it feel like it's still her. If she chose to protect Charlie's dream, she would still be perfectly loyal to her but in the act of so would reveal a secret that could harm their relationship(which does happen at the end but that's because the plot wanted it like that). If she chose to side with Adam, she'd be hurting Charlie emotionally, sure, but it would keep a secret that could make Charlie see Vaggie less than who she is to her already(atleast what Vaggie might think would happen). Imo it should've been her deciding to protect Charlie, since it would mean she's devoted to her at all times.

ANOTHER THING! IF SHE COULDN'T MAKE THE CHOICE, THAT IS SOMETHING INTERESTING TO GO INTO. Maybe it could go deeper into how Vaggie doesn't know who she is without Charlie. So when she has a choice to make, like here, she can't do it without feeling the need to ask Charlie. BUT NOOO, YA HAD TO GO WITH THIS!! Wow. That was a long ass rant. Wtf 😭

Maybe I'm a dumbass. Maybe they'll talk about that next episode, but still, atleast touch on it a bit to not seem rushed?

Angel looking out for his kids like a mom. We always did need the motherly figure, the one closest to that being Charlie but girl needs a mother in her life too(damn, wait, I did her so dirty).

Huh, so why does it work here then? 🤨🤨 if it was said in the contract that Valentino can do whatever he wants only in the studio, then why is this the exception? 🤨🤨

Yes I'm stupid. Why do you ask? (No genuinely what's happening here)

OH ITS THE IMAGE! I really like Sera so far, hope we get more of her soon or in season 2.

Now that we know the context of this, yeah, that's fucking insane. And badass. WOMEN.

HMM. THATS STRANGE. DID YOU NOT FOR ONCE THINK THERE COULD BE A POSSIBILITY SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN ANGEL? Okay I probably wouldn't either but I have an excuse, I'm an idiot. Some girl with a standing out outfit, with one eye, looks unusually human, right after/during the extermination... that's pretty solid ass proof. But I'm dumb so don't take anything i say seriously :D

Imagine this. No- shit. Just-

JUST LOOK! THEY ARE SO CUTE! EVEN THOUGH CRAZY SHIT IS HAPPENING.

*SWEATS*

Vaggie is DESPERATE. PLEADING. That's obvious yeah, but don't mind me I had nothing to say for the last 3 images I just thought they were cool

I mean. Slay I guess. 😍💅

Do all the exterminators look similar or is it just Lute and Vaggie? 🤨

Even though Vaggie and Charlie may be going through this horrible thing with a hard punch in the gut, but Vaggie is always going to comfort her and I just think that's so adorable.

Also Adam looks like a chicken hah.

Everyone fears to be like Lucifer. If they don't do bad things they believe are for the greater good and make sacrifices that put them higher than those in hell, they could themselves be fallen. It's really interesting but I don't know if it's going to be fleshed out enough with the amount of episodes left. Which also worries me about everything else that still hasn't be concluded. There's gonna be loose strings I just know it. Hopefully though they rather do that then rush everything out y'know?

I want the next episode to be mostly focused on Vaggie and Charlie's relationship and the healing of what happened. Not for the entire episode of course, it would feel drawn out if it did, but atleast address the problem for the first like I would say 10 minutes? Then the rest would focus on one or two loose threads while also having Vaggie and Charlie acting upon moving on. That's just my idea but yeah-

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drchucktingle · 1 year

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favorite author i have never read

hey there buckaroos thank you for all the DEEP DISCUSSIONS we are having a great time here on tumblr. thought today i could make a post that is slightly more difficult its not all sunshine days ahead and requires a little introspection. LOOK AT US we have all arrived here together through trust and love and i think we can keep this going. chuck made this post on other platforms years ago and i think it was said very well then and led to some good discussion, so i am going to repost here. okay lets go deep bud here we go:

i would like to spend moment today talking about common joke i hear online (and even too my face at conventions). this is jokerman way i hear ALL the dang time: 'chuck tingle is my favorite author i have never read' or less jokerman way but of ‘i have never read his books but i love chuck tingle'.

first of all, THANK YOU buds. this is not way of call out post to make you feel bad, i appreciate your way and understand you are trying to support. this is not attack on your message and from bottom of chucks heart THANK YOU.

BUT i have to say something about this. please consider what you are saying when you post this. would you send this as message to STEPHEN KING or NEIL GAIMAN or NK JEMISIN? i doubt this. it would seem VERY RUDE to message other authors. just imagine trotting up to a writer and saying ‘i would NEVER read your books haha’ but it is sent to chuck all the dang time.

obvious reason buds say it to chuck is that i am queer author with a unique way. yes i write in realm of wild fantasy and erotic pairings, but by saying ‘i have never read chuck BUT' you are really saying 'i am posting my support of this but PLEASE DONT THINK I AM REALLY INTERESTED IN THIS PERSONALLY.' there are similar distasteful jokes that i will not repeat involving saying 'no bud on bud pounds' after a sentence that works in similar way.

is sexual art really that bad? is queer art really that embarrassing? is unusual outsider art really that funny?

it is one thing if your preferred pound is not one of chucks tinglers, that is TOTALLY FINE BUD, but if you are an adult i would say 'is it REALLY that scary to read a book about a way of sex that is not yours? is it that difficult to think that something that seems silly to you could actually MOVE YOU in an important way? do you HAVE to disconnect yourself from lgtbqia art with a 'but i don't read this myself?'

keep in mind, there are gay tinglers, there are asexual tinglers, there are trans tinglers, there are select your own timeline tinglers, there are horror tinglers. TINGLERS FOR EVERY TASTE. the thing that buds are often REALLY saying with ‘favorite author i have never read’ is ‘this is WEIRD and dont be confused because im NOT WEIRD IM COOL DONT THINK I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS’. funny enough even the proudly fun and wild and unique buckaroos will STILL say this line, maybe without taking time to think of what it means or how rude it is?

WHY would you never read a chuck book? because my way is queer? because it is neurodivergent? even if that is not there reason or even if YOUR ARE ALSO PERSONALLY QUEER AND NEURODIVERGENT TOO, think about what the joke is IMPLYING.

is sincerely enjoying something thats kind of unusual that difficult? do we really have to slather it in irony and ‘so bad its good?’ before reposting?

in closing as man name of chuck i will say you can still make this joke if you want buckaroos i know you are just having a good time proving love in your own way. i am not upset with you bud and i appreciate your support in any way you give it. there are some buckaroos who just CANT AFFORD tinglers and that is an important way i understand as well. obviously this conversation does not apply to those buds. but for the rest of us trotting along, MAYBE think about what you are really saying with this jokerman way first, and MAYBE try cracking open a tingler because you might be surprised. its not that scary bud. thank you for listening

being sincere is VERY COOL and VERY PUNK ROCK. i encourage all buckaroos out there to give it a try.

LOVE IS REAL

#chuck tingle #tingleverse #art theory #queer #lgbtqia #outsider art #neurodivergent #autism #irony #sincerity #love is real #favorite author i have never read

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mxqdii · 8 months

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hey! i love love your work, and i was wondering if i could request a chris sturniolo x fem!reader?

maybe reader is also a well known influencer, or an actress or something of the sort, and there’s rumours about her and chris being together that they haven’t really confirmed?

but they are dating and she’s on live one day and he calls her like an intimate pet name, or just overall says something that shows they are in fact together and like the comments on the live just go crazy and stuff and shes like telling chris she’s on live or whatver

im so sorry if this doesnt make sense 🙏🙏

stop bc i requested pretty much this same thing to another author (on wattpad) a few months back, so when i read this request it was such an "i made it" moment (i love u sm, you're just like me fr fr)

baby - c.s

pairings: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: chris accidentally calls reader 'baby' while she's on live, revealing to the whole world that they're dating/

warning(s): fluff, reader calling chris bro 😔

not proofread

i'm sitting on the couch, watching tv, bored out of my mind.

then an idea hits me, i could go on live!

i used to go live a lot with the triplets, but only on their account, so it would be fun to go live on mine.

i open instagram and click the live button, watching the stream fill with thousands of people

"holy shit that's a lot of people" i say with a nervous laugh

"uhh i guess i'll answer any questions anyone has! so feel free to ask anything!" i add, smiling

i read through the comments, lots of them asking where the triplets are

i can't help but notice seeing a few asking if me and chris are dating.

fortunately, those allegations are true! but we've decided to keep it quiet for, just for now.

still, there’s only so much one can hide from the public

and although me and chris haven't said anything, i think everybody knows anyway.

people can see our glances, our gestures, how close we are, it's all pretty obvious.

i answer a few questions like my favorite singer, when my next video is coming out, podcast stuff with the triplets, and just some other various topics.

suddenly i hear the door unlock, looking over at it, but not really caring.

maybe i can get whichever triplet that is to join my live.

chris walks in and i smile in his direction

"hey baby" he says and my expression immediately drops.

i look at him, PALE.

(absolutely terrified to look back at the screen)

"what?" he says, walking closer, i turn my head to the screen, anticipating my death.

i let out a sigh of relief seeing the comments

@ssturniolo BABY???

@strniolo AWWWWWWWW

@lvrsparadise GOODBYE I LOVE THEM.

@ellieswifie this is such a chris and y/n mistake 😭

@lavieenvalentina i'm so happy for them i'll cry

(shoutout to everyone tagged ILY<;3)

as i'm reading the comments, i smile, chris hovering over me reading them too

suddenly he hugs me from behind, squeezing me tight

"chris!" i say laughing

"let me go bro" i whine

"you did not just call me bro" he says, immediately stopping

his death glare makes me laugh

"consider it payback for you calling me baby on live" i say laughing

(him clearly not amused)

"okay fine fine im sorry, guys it's all okay he's not my bro please let me redeem myself" i say joking on the last part

me and chris stay on live for another 30 minutes, answering questions about how we got together and just stuff about our relationship.

"bye guys we love you!!" i say, ending the live

i close out of insta, putting my phone down with an exhausted sigh

"so?" i mumble, anticipating chris's response

"so? so nothing" he say's with a smile and i face palm

"chris! we just told like, the world that we're dating" i laugh

"yeah, and i'm happy about it, like honestly i can't think of a better way it could've happened" he says

we both look at eachother and burst out laughing

"we're a little interesting thats for sure" i say

"i can't believe we tell the world we're dating ON ACCIDENT and then you start calling me bro" chris says, making me laugh harder

"i was nervous! im sorry!" i yell with my hands up in defense

"yeah yeah, it's fine" he says, wrapping his arms around me

"bro" he adds on

"chris i swear to god-"

TAGLIST:

@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookworm

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #matt sturniolo #fluff #matt sturniolo headcannons #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #madispeaks!

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moonstruckme · 7 months

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Hii!! I have a request if thats okay, its kinda weird tho so if you don't wanna do it thats totaly okay<3

So i have like a really sensitive stomach so if i eat like anything greasy or a lot of one thing i get a really bad tummy ache, especially after supper like i don't throw up or anything im just kinda useless for like 2 hours. So the request is if you could do poly x fem!reader (or one of them, whatever you prefer) and have them comfort her and stuff? Maybe like cuddles and belly rubs? Idk

Thank u for excisting btw, you really make my day everytime you post<3

Thanks sweetheart, hope you like it :)

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

Remus knocks at your door tentatively. He’d known something was off when you’d left dinner early, vague about why you had to get home but urgent in a way that unnerved him. He’d followed you out of the restaurant, hoping to catch you in the parking lot, but you’d already gotten on your bus. Remus knew you were probably fine, but he couldn’t shake his anxiety about the way you’d left and he’d made his excuses a few minutes later, ignoring the jeering protests of his friends as he set out for your apartment.

After knocking again, he tries the handle, surprised and a bit alarmed to find the door unlocked. He calls your name as he steps inside hesitantly, wary of startling you if you’ve gone to sleep or have just gotten out of the shower (that’s something he’d like to see under more consensual circumstances). “It’s Remus,” he says into the dark apartment, feeling a bit silly. “Are you here?”

“Rem,” a soft voice comes from the direction of the living room, “what’re you doing here?”

He moves toward the sound. “I came to check on you. Sorry for just letting myself in, but you left dinner so suddenly and I…oh, sweetheart.”

He finds you on the couch, all curled up with your face pinched in obvious pain.

“Honey, what happened?” he asks, crouching beside you. His hand comes up to pet your hair of its own accord.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” you say, the strain in your voice belying your words. “I just came home because my stomach was bothering me.”

Remus feels his brows pinch. “It hurts?” you nod, seeming embarrassed. He can’t imagine why, it’s not like you’ve any control over that sort of thing. “Do you think it was something you ate?”

You’re looking down at your knees, held tightly to your chest. “I…kind of,” you sigh. “This happens sometimes. Like, when I eat a lot of the same thing, or greasy foods.”

Remus nods thoughtfully. “So like, when James won’t stop piling fries onto your plate all night, and you feel like you have to eat them?” You look sheepish, and James is going to feel awful when Remus is through with him. He’s going to make damn sure nothing like this ever happens again on his watch. “I’m sorry, lovely,” he says. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

You hesitate. “I’ve got ibuprofen in the bathroom, but I haven’t wanted to get up. Could you bring it to me?”

Remus squeezes your shoulder lightly, standing. “Of course, sweetheart.”

He hurries to the bathroom, finding the small bottle of pills under the sink and bringing it back along with a cup of water. He shakes a couple of tablets into his hand, passing them to you, but withholds the water when you reach for it.

“Sorry.” He really is. “You’ve got to sit up to drink it, don’t want you to choke.”

You shuffle into an upright position, bracing your back against the couch with your knees still drawn tight to your front, and Remus hands the cup over. You swallow the pills with a light exhale, as if you’re already anticipating the relief they’ll bring.

“Thanks, Rem.”

“It’s no problem,” he replies, and he hopes you understand how much he means it. “How long does the pain usually last?”

You sigh. “A couple hours. I’ll probably just lie here and wait it out, I won’t be able to get to sleep until it stops.”

Remus tries not to pout at you, his heart aching with sympathy. “If you’d like, we could watch a movie or something,” he suggests, adding quickly. “But if you want me to leave so you can relax, I completely understand, love.”

You ponder for a second, your face still tight with pain. “No, that sounds nice,” you say after a second. “A distraction could help, and I’ll be more relaxed with you here anyway.”

Remus has to turn away so you don’t see the full force of his smile, occupying himself with your television. He holds up a movie for you to see, putting it in the VHS player once you approve. You waste no time in snuggling up to him when he sits next to you on the couch, and Remus wraps his arm around you happily, rubbing gently up and down your arm. You all but melt under his touch, softening against his side.

It’s a few minutes into the movie before he works up the courage to ask. “Do you think it would help,” he says, hoping his voice sounds at least remotely casual, “if I rubbed your stomach for you?”

You look at him in surprise. “Remus, that’s alright. You don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind,” he says, and he doesn’t. Even though he’s giddy from the feel of you pressed up against him, he’s not offering as some excuse to touch you. He just wants so desperately to help. Seeing you in pain is like a gut punch every time he looks at you, and if there’s anything that can make you more comfortable, he wants to be the one to do it. “Really, I just want you to feel better.”

“Okay, yeah.” You relax your grip on your knees, letting your thighs fall a few inches from your stomach and making an opening for him. “That’d be nice, thanks.” Remus watches your face, wary of any signs of discomfort as he brings his hand to your midsection.

“You’ll tell me if I hurt you at all, yeah?”

“I will,” you say. “But you won’t.”

Remus glows with your surety in him, but he’s still cautious as he draws his hand in small circles, gratified when you sigh. The movie casts blue light across your features, so he can see you a bit better as the crease between your brows evaporates, the tension around your mouth easing. Remus does his best to look like he’s watching the movie, but all his focus is on easing the upset in your abdomen, adjusting his methods any time you react even slightly in the positive or negative. Soon you’re completely molten against his side, blinks slowing as your eyelids start to droop heavily.

“Did the ibuprofen kick in?” he asks softly. “You look like you’re getting sleepy, dove.”

“I dunno,” you yawn, laying your cheek on his bicep, “maybe.”

Remus almost hates to suggest it, but he’s not quite selfish enough to keep himself from asking. “If you want to get to bed, I can go.”

“No, can you stay?” you yawn again, hugely. Remus tries not to stare, but you look adorable, cheek squished up against his arm and face soft with sleepiness. “Just until the movie’s done, please?”

Remus adjusts you against him, slouching so that you can lay your head on his shoulder without hurting your neck. “Yeah, of course I can stay, lovely.” He resumes rubbing your stomach, dropping a quick kiss on the top of your head. “I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.”

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starwikia · 2 months

Text

suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am.

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions.

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT.

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

#warning: do not read this post if you want me to be nice to james somerton. i am extremely mean in this post.#before anyone accuses me of shit i legit never contacted him myself or anyone involved. i am someone who witnessed this behavior repeatedly #again. i hope hes alive and well. the fact is him lying about this WOULD BE THE IDEAL SITUATION. BC NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT. but.#he HAS to forever be the victim in his eyes. attempting doesnt automatically mean youre free of sin.#its just terrible to see that regardless whether or not he did do it #its very clear his attempts to run away from his consequences are working on some people #we need to acknowledge that if your shitty ex friend can weaponize a threat to kill themselves #so can this internet person after being called out for horrendous shit #like what was the alterative? what were people supposed to fucking do? be nice about it?#yeah as if poc and trans women arent historically given shit for being 'too mean' about wanting justice.#this isnt just the plagiarism this is the fact a white dude has been parading himself as THE speaker for the gays(tm) but has been using hi #gayness to shield himself from his misogyny racism transphobia and antisemitism #its very clear regardless this means that ppl r going to side with him and then give him benefit of doubt #if you cant handle the heat stay out of the fucking kitchen dude. this is the consequences of your fucking actions.#hes a disgusting person who cant handle being told no so hes going to drag everyone down with him #like. idk this entire situation is frustrating to me.#its also frustrating ppl trying to be moral abt it like 'see! i knew this was bad all along!' no you didnt. shut it.#for the record im like mainly talking abt twit watching those spineless uwu cutesy ppl basically saying hes done noting wrong #oh and also alt righters who are clearly weaponinizing this where u know they wouldnt give a shit if a right ytber did this.#james somerton #idk might delete this later its just. ugh...

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enden-k · 23 days

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(Sorry for the ramble but these 2 idiots have been stuck in my brain for days now)

Soo can we talk about the fact that after the meeting with Sunday, Ratio immediately asks if Aven is okay. Like my dude, you're still in the dream and are being watched, that's not how someone who just 'betrayed' another person acts.

Also, Aven being the one who has to subtly correct Ratio (at least thats the interpretation im going with) reminding him that they still have to act like they hate each other. (They're both geniuses in completely different ways, textbook definition of book smarts vs streets smarts)

ALSO, dispite that slip up from Ratio, Aven still doubting whether Ratio was acting or not (someone get this man a hug and some therapy I swear)

Anyways, I love these 2 idiots, and I hope we get to see more of their dynamic, specifically outside Penacony, bc I suspect most of what we saw was an act to trick The Family, and their actual dynamic hasn't been shown that much

its in ratios nature to be so harsh and not filtering, its just ratio

to shorten it, hoyo literally made him a tsundere. he calls aventurine an idiot and cares about his wellbeing. HIS SHY FACE IS HIM LOOKING ANGRY AND AVERTING HIS EYES HHHHHDHHHH its all so obvious

my thoughts/short ramble abt their dynamic utc

while all that happened was aventurine and ratio acting and fooling everyone, i dont think much in their dynamic would change outside of it. ratio is harsh and sarcastic and angry and loud etcetc (not out of malice) but he does care at the same time so i see him keep up his usual ratio-typical behavior towards aventurine - altho softening, toning it down, especially when aventurine is clearly suffering/behaving differently than you usually see him (like when he asked him if hes okay or when he thought he offended him) but other times harsh as usual, maybe even more aggressive when aventurine does get under his skin what a tsundere

(also, when you pair him with aventurine, he says (in his usual harsh way) "take care of yourself, i dont need your concern" - i think this shows really nicely how his dynamic/feelings toward aventurine are - harsh and caring in the same breath, aventurine is self destructive after all)

anw yea ig i derailed a bit sorry. i think ratio raised his usual behavior by some lvls than he would usually treat aventurine to not raise suspicions, trying to come off like he doesnt care and like aventurine is an unpleasant annoyance

the cutscene where aventurine is about lie and sentence himself? the look ratio gives him?

when aventurine is about to open the box that will expose his lie and he looks up to catch ratios gaze before he turns away ?

maybe im thinking too much into it, theres also prob different ways to interpret this but their lingering gazes, like a silent exchange between them underneath that act and ratio turning away when he gets his answer-

and yea like u mentioned ratios acting, his behavior towards aventurine, being so good that even aventurine is doubting if its an act or his true feelings towards him (giving him that hug myself!!!!!!)

anw thats my (not organized) thoughts tho, maybe their dynamic does change to smth entirely different than what i babble abt here, who knows. anw cant wait to see them reunite and show more!!!

#reply #headcanons #?#idk #hcs #rambles #hsr tag

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genderkoolaid · 1 month

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advice on how to get over the fear that t is going to make me ugly? or that i’m going to miss “the old me”

i’m a queer trans guy and i’ve been questioning going on t for years now and i know i definitely want bottom growth, body fat redistribution and more body hair.

but im err on the side of face and voice changes. i’m scared of disliking my new voice and suddenly growing dysphoric over it (i dont have too much voice dysphoria now) and disliking how my new face will look. i’m kinda genderfluid as well so it’s complicated. but i don’t want to go my whole life without knowing what it’s like to be on hrt. but i can’t get over the fear of looking/finding myself ugly and undesirable and losing my community... which is ironic cuz i find other trans men attractive as hell. i discussed this in therapy and i still feel this way :/

i wish there was a way for me to start without telling anyone and then breaking the news when i’m experiencing changes and feeling more confident about it. i have my gender dysphoria diagnosis and i can start if i want to, but i need my family’s financial support. i don’t want to make it a big deal since it’s just something i’d be trying out to feel more like myself in certain ways.

sorry this turned into a long ass rant and you don’t have to reply but i’m just gonna kindly leave it in the ask box 💀

There's a post that goes like "all of life is irreversible. i cannot go back a single second" and I think thats something good to keep in mind when you are thinking through this. You are already living with a body that has changed and will continue to change in ways largely out of your control. You are already living in a post-irreversible-alteration body.

If you do go on T and find you don't like how your voice sounds: for one, you can stop at any time (& if you haven't checked out microdosing as an option, you should). But two: plenty of people live with a deeper voice than they want. Plenty of people live with facial hair they dislike. You can pursue the same therapies and procedures they do. Or maybe you don't, and you find ways to live with a voice or face you aren't totally in love with.

So much detransition fearmongering, especially directed at transmascs & assoc. trans people, heavily relies on the specter of the fallen woman, itself steeped in trans-misogyny & intersexism. The idea that, for one, a "woman" who has mixed-sex features is ugly and undesirable, and two, that a "woman" made undesirable is forever doomed to be miserable and worthless. The transphobic story of detransition keeps our bodies stuck in this moment of revulsion and regret, narratively preventing us as characters from being able to move on and live happy lives in atypical bodies. Even if you do regret/dislike some things about T, you are not forever stuck in that feeling. The story does not stop at that! You will just keep living and find new ways of dealing with your bodily feelings!

The social aspect of this is a bit more complicated but I also have some firsthand experience with it. Because, as mentioned before, there's a lot of transphobic misogyny/misogynistic transphobia that affects transmascs & others who go on T, who have to confront the feeling of losing your potential desirability. And then there's also the way many people are treated after going on T, facing a whole new area of bodily scrutiny: you may suddenly have people making comments about how someone needs to force teenage boys to shave because their facial hair is a personal offense. I went from being self-conscious about how high my voice was to being self-conscious about how undeniably trans my voice was. And, specifically, my facial hair, voice changes, etc. were all signs of my transmasculine desire, and I became self-conscious about how obvious it was that I desired being trans, I desired this body. I could no longer let everyone pretend I was a cishet girl at family gatherings and avoid confronting these issues, because I had essentially written I WANT TO BE A TRANNY all over my physical form.

This is something I'm still struggling with myself. I, like many other queer & autistic people, already struggled with feeling desirable or worthy of being seen alongside conventionally attractive cishet people who could act normal. Being visibly trans, and taking a huge step away from the desirable cis-perisex-girl body, can really open up that can of worms. Especially being genderfluid/genderqueer! Because we often cannot find a comfortable space for ourselves within the conventions of attractiveness for cis men, like some binary trans men are able to.

But ultimately, I don't regret going on T at all. I would have had body issues regardless, and I got a lot out of going on T. I think mentally preparing yourself to struggle with these things, and seeking out other transmasc people, is a big help. Again: all of life is irreversible. we cannot go back a single second. We are already living in imperfect bodies we struggle to love or see as worthy. If you know you want some of the things T can offer, and you don't want to go your whole life without knowing, then just do it. Dive in, and don't feel any shame if you decide to get out. Just keep living and finding ways to live better right now.

#m.#ask box

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chubby-aphrodite · 8 months

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its weird taking a retrospective look at my "crushes" i had over the years because later i realized i was literally playing out media tropes. like of course i had a "crush" on these childhood best friends i had, thats just the natural progression of this right? of course i had a "crush" on that guy who was a little bit mean to me but usually kind of chill and fun to talk to right? of course i had a "crush" on that one childhood friend i had that i was clingy with, that's just how this whole shtick goes. right? right???

but no i was anticipating romance where there was none for me to feel. because i felt like i was playing a role in a story. but every time i've ever been offered a romantic relationship (count: 3) and said yes (count: 2) something felt extremely wrong and i backed out immediately. like all my organs were doing kickflips and i was three steps away from puking them all out. i literally answered the question "do you ever sexually fantasize about me" with "at least once but i felt bad and replaced you with a mannequin."

things like this seem obvious in hindsight but it took a bit to arrive at that conclusion. i went through phases of trying to reconcile whether i felt sexual attraction or not, like in middle school i played around with bi, demi, grey-ace, but that was me trying to be like "yeah i still feel sexual attraction sometimes [has never actually felt sexually attracted to a person ever]"

i think i was trying to tell myself i was a late bloomer, that it would come with the right person/it would come when it comes/etc, but nah i wasnt any sort of bloomer. i dont even bloom in the right conditions. im a plant with no flowers. some kinda weird vine. or maybe a clover.

point is being aroace was a conclusion i arrive at after much testing.

#fae talks #asexual #aromantic #aroace

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quodekash · 27 days

Text

wassup bitches, im back babyyy (I spammed my friend last night and told myself I wouldnt do a Tumblr post, and yet here I am, doing a Tumblr post of every screenshot and comment I sent to my friend)

HOLY SHIT THATS A FUCKING PAINTING

WHAT THE HELL

AYYE I THINK I'VE FOUND WINNY

was fuckin right bitches

rly thought that was mark pakin for a minute

I truly adore him

jj!

tbh it feels like some kind of rule in gmmtv where they have to have at least one of the jutamas twins in an airing show at any given time, cos like. theyre always there.

hidden agenda and dangerous romance were airing at the same time for a little bit, and aj was in one while jj was in the other

and now 23.5 and we are are airing at the same time, and aj's in one while jj's in the other

I just think its neat 👍

SATANG

SATANG SATANG SATANG

WE’RE LIKE FIVE MINUTES IN AND ITS ALREADY WNST TIME BITCHESSSS

its so fun to see winny as the master at something while satang's the noob, I like this a lot

oh babygirl you aren't listening to a word hes saying

hell yeah we're already getting these corny-ass moments that are so unrealistic but so funny (I love corny-ass moments in bls)

I think that maybe they should kiss

Babes stop staring at him you’re way too obvious (satang looks so adorable here tho look at him)

omg I never couldve guessed what pond's character was studying

he's an engineering student 🤯🤯🤯

no one's ever joined this field of study before in a bl

how shocking

I am shooketh

no <3

I LOVE POON'S CHARACTER IMMEDIATELY

he's so real for that

get ready boys (gender neutral), its time for ✨alcoholism✨

I love these bastards so much

pun has immediately rocketed all the way up to my favourite character so far

dont get me wrong, I love all of them

but like. just look at him

PUN JUMPING INTO CHAIN'S ARMS 💀

five broooos, chillin in the one bed

AAAAA HOLY SHIT

punchain: 🥰🥰

the other side of the bed:

LMAO HOW THE HELL'D THEY END UP LIKE THAT

I love how aou’s character SO CLEARLY has a crush on boom’s character and boom hasnt even been INTRODUCED yet

(btw ill use the character names more and more as time goes on, i just have shit name memory at the start of shows)

HES SO TINY

HE'S A LITTLE MUNCHKIN

HHHHHHHHH 😭😭

SO SILLY GOOFY

his hair here is so funny to me

THERE HE IS, FINALLY!

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND THE BOOM

pond has ✨daddy issues✨ (unsurprising)

aight that's all, next week's gonna be a blast, ill almost certainly be back

#quodekash's side couple syndrome boss fight #we are #we are the series #marcpoon #winnysatang #pondphuwin #aouboom #qtoey #punchain #chainpun #winny thanawin #satang kittiphop #marc natarit #poon mitpakdee #phuwin tangsakyuen #pond naravit #aou thanaboon #boom tharatorn

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miracledarling · 1 year

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how i clear "doubts"

before continuing, remember that u make ur own rules and i share what works for me. its all based on ur assumptions so do what works for u ❤️‍🩹

[ very messy unorganized post, bear with me ]

so as someone who doesn't believe things that easily, and a lot of times thinks logically, i found ways to help myself manifest and deal with negative thoughts.

first off, remember that these thoughts have no power. ZERO. they're just random thoughts so i wouldn't even call the doubts. just random thoughts that are less true than hot pink turtles crawling around ur bathroom ceiling(unless thats actually something true for u sorry lol). but what i'm saying is, don't give the thoughts power. this will help u stop wavering and persist without feeling as stressful. dont identify with these dumb untrue thoughts alright?

oh no !! i got a dOuBt. what do i do? 🥺

i take some deep breaths first. i acknowledge that i dont have to think PoSiTiVeLy all the time. this aint law of attraction. its not about forcing positively and be happy for high vibrations or whatever bullshit. nope. it's about assumptions right? its law of assumption.

with that in mind, i realize oh, so whatever i assume will come true.

so first, i assume those dumb thoughts aint matter anymore. they are just a bunch of bullshit that is not true. i tell myself that only my good thoughts would matter anyway, so give me all the doubts u want and i dont give a fuck.

its like when an annoying kid goes and bugs u. if u respond back they keep bugging u but if u ignore, they get bored and are like oh well whatever. so ur logical brain will be like: well the thoughts im telling her seem to be false. i guess im wrong im gonna stop annoying her.

and whenever u get those thoughts, its gonna be harder to give in and waver. its easier to persist now.

but...what if u cant believe it? if ur logical brain says: "well hell no. i dont believe u got big lips. i dont have proof, its against what i know."

instead of getting all worried like "oh no i wouldnt believe, will it not manifest?" i calm down and say "yeah just dumb thoughts again. they have no power so i dont care." I also say: "well believe it or not, my lips are big af. i know i might not believe it now, but there's nothing to deny that my lips are clearly big. so it doesnt matter what im believing. i have what i want regardless" this statement implies that whatever im believing or thinking, i still have my results. its done.

the statement i often now repeat when i get doubtful is: "well believe it or not, i clearly have [insert desire] and it's sooo obvious" or something along those lines

or "believe it or not its a fact that i have [desire] and i cant even prove it wrong."

i tell it to myself until i calm down to prevent myself from wavering.

my logical brain gives up and has no choice bc even if it wont believe me, it cant do anything about it because im speaking facts and the fact is that i got my desires

the bottom line: doing all of this ultimately does one important thing-it creates an assumption. specifically, i create an assumption that my "doubts" dont matter. and even if i think they matter they wont. even if im in complete disbelief that i dont have what i want, i still have what i want. there is zero other choice except to have what i want. no need for evidence or perfect thoughts.

i also acknowledge the fact that i wont fully believe or think in the perfect way and it's completely fine. because of the assumption i have created, even if i think shitty thoughts, i will still manifest what i want.

another thing about assumptions: they dont need evidence. like you can assume u have a white tshirt in ur closet even tho u didnt look in there.

for this case, this assumption i made eliminates every other option except to have my desire. no matter how much the logical mind tries, because i created this assumption, i can think whatever i want, have the most doubts and logic ever, and still manifest.

so keep persisting and you'll manifest ur desires without even realizing 💙

#law of assumption #loa #loassumption #manifesting #manifesation #self concept #neville goddard #affirmations #void state #affirm and persist #10k affirmations #doubts #manifesting tips #affirmyourreality #loa blog #loablr

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egosweetheart · 3 months

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hi, this isnt an actual art post, i just wanna share a thing i did recently. so hazbin hotel came out. i have mixed feelings on it, but the important thing for this post is, i wanted to redesign some of the characters.

i did angeldust, alastor, lucifer, and husk, because those seemed like they needed the biggest push design wise.

i've seen a lot of redesigns that come for the shows entire design ethos rather than just addressing individual issues, which are all cool and good, but i really wanted to meet vivzie where she's at and focus on improving what's already there with the lore that's available.

i will not be doing any actual fanart for the show or talking about it beyond this post. which, btw, is going to be long as fuck.

tdlr: i did some paint-overs. theyre under the cut next to the original design.

alright, so this one is the most different. why? idk i think alastor could be really cool, but none of the things in his original design speak to his themes or personality at all. if he's a deer, why are his horns hidden? if he's half creole, why is he beige? if he cares about his suit enough to take it to a tailor over one rip, why are there rips in his design?

this is also the start of my crusade against bowties.

so i get the idea behind lucifers design. hes the ringmaster, the rest of the sins are his circus, it makes sense, its very cute. it just needed editing. there's so much white in his costume, it all clutters together visually, you dont know where to focus, and the pops of red just make it even more confusing. by moving all the white up, it keeps the focus on his face. i also gave him a beard because he looks like charlies brother and i'm not allergic to facial hair. i also removed the apple from the hat because it seemed redundant.

i dont know if im 100% happy with how husk turned out, but i am happy he's more readable now. he was so cluttered before, but i removed a lot of it in favor of leaning into the disaster ex-magician angle, and making his vibe slightly more 70's. also, cats with mustaches are adorable, and i like how disheveled he looks in comparison to alastor. alastor is ruining this mans life and i think it should be a little more obvious in his design.

ok this one is personal for 1 reason and 1 reason only: he does not need a fucking bowtie. it just floats there with no visual anchor, right underneath a choker that's essentially doing the same visual footwork and thematically says so much more about angel dusts situation. i also noticed he has like, a feather bustle in the poison musical sequence? so. thats staying to make him more Spider Like. he deserves extra fluff.

the show is overall very whatever to me. i just wanted to see if i could tweak these to make myself happier with them, and i succeeded, and that's all that matters.thank u if you read all this, i wrote it at 1am. MWAH i love you

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel redesign #alastor hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #husker hazbin hotel #angel dust hazbin hotel #im putting this out in the middle of the night like the moon will shield me from the potential wack dms i might get for posting this at all #my apologies to anyone who doesnt wanna see this #scroll or block me its ok ily anyway

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junhannies · 7 months

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ dont let me lose you | choi taeyang

pairing: choi taeyang × reader

genre: kinda friends to lovers w no obvious confessions, hurt/ comfort, fluff

warning: grammer

wc: 0,8k

summary: you and taeyang had a big fight, maybe the biggest one you two ever had. and now you are on your way to see him even though the horrible weather.

a/n: heyy!! so this is actually a part of a long fic i have been writing for a while. but i looove this episode so i thought to myself why not publish it here as well, enjoyy!!

⟡ fic starts under the cut!

it was raining like hell outside . and you were trying to get to theo’s house as soon as you could. you were already nearly completely wet and freezing.

you had problems with taeyang before. but they were all about meaningless little things. this one was actually different. you had both said stuff you knew you were gonna regret. and you wanted to talk it out with him. you knew you werent gonna stop overthinking this whole thing if you didnt handled it immediately. so here you were standing in front of theo and jiung’s house. you knocked the door and it was immediately opened by jiung who was shocked to see you standing there, completely drenched because of the weather.

“y/n are you crazy? what are you doing here? you are going to be sick” he yelled while he was literally dragging you inside.

“i had to see him jiung” you said.

“i know i know. lets get you changed up so you wont catch a cold” he said with a comforting smile.

“do you have spare clothes? or do you want me to give you-“

“oh i already have some, dont worry” you said while walking through the bathroom. you knew it was gonna rain like hell. but you came anyways.

“just let me change real quick then i will be talking to him”

he nodded while showing the bathroom with one hand. you quickly changed up. you were nervous as hell and even shocked that you werent shaking like crazy right now. you showed all your wet clothes in the bag then left the bathroom.

jiung was already waiting for you in the hallway. “are you feeling nervous?” he asked cutely.

“yeah. i dont even know what im gonna say. i just felt so bad that i took the first train here. i dont know what was i thinking to be honest.”

“you were scared of losing him y/n. thats okay. you need to calm down first. he’s very upset as well. he hasnt left his room since you two had a fight.”

you shook my head in response.

“his room is upstairs” he said. then showed you the way.

“good luck” he whispered. then went back downstairs.

you were so nervous that you were about to faint. you mumbled some shit to give you confidence. then you slowly opened the door and entered the room.

“go away jiung” theo said but it was more like a mumble. he was lying on the bed. you slowly walked over to him and sat on the bed. he probably though you were jiung since he even turned his head to look at you. so you laid down next to him.

“hey taeyang” you said softly. he was shocked to see it was not jiung but you.

“y/n what the hell are you doing here? its raining like crazy out there” he said worriedly while sitting up.

“i had to see you. so i took the first train here” you said. you could already feel your eyes tearing up. but since you didnt want him to see that, you turned your head.

“y/b please dont cry” he said while cupping your cheeks.

“im so sorry, i was acting like a total jerk” he said pullint you close to his chest.

“im sorry too theo. i was being a bitch anyways”

“no, please dont say that” he whined

“ i dont even know why i said that. i got so angry with myself afterwards. and now you are here. you came to see me in this shitty weather and i didnt even text you.”

you sobbed quietly while he was caressing your hair.

“please dont cry y/n. its okay. we are okay, right?”

you shook my head. and he pulled you closer to his chest. you stayed like that for a while.

“can we cuddle and sleep please” you asked.

“of course” he said. then fixed the pillows.

“i care about you too much to lose you in a stupid argument like this. im so sorry for upsetting you”

he then quickly hid his head in the stack of pillows and you laughed at the way he got shy.

“no need to get embarrassed theo” you said ruffling his hair.

“come here” he said pulling you into a tight hug. and you felt the safest you have felt in a while. he was soft and warm. and his arms wrapping you tightly made you believe he wasnt gonna leave you ever.

“taeyang?”

he hummed as a response.

“dont let me lose you, okay?”

“you dont have to worry about such thing” he kissed the top of your head.

“now lets sleep. shall we?”

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