#me at the top of my lungs: you don't understand that's his DAD

[egophiliac]

Okay so I've been wanting to tell you that you're literally my favourite twst artist 😭🩷

So my question is, how do you manage to come up with these funny comics? CUZ I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

(P.s: Lovin' the art style ✨)

oh geeze, thanks! 💚💚💚 I'm really glad people enjoy my stupid sense of humor; mostly I just draw things to make myself laugh, and if it makes other people laugh too, then bonus points! usually it's just one joke or mental image that gets stuck in my head (every time I saw Fellow spin his cane, all I could think about was him go-go-gadgeting away on it...) and in my quest to justify it, it picks up other jokes and bits along the way and usually doesn't even end up as the main focus anymore. entire narrative arcs have spun out just so I could use a single bad pun in a throwaway line. this is a terrible way to explain it but I'm not sure how else to put it into words!

and sometimes it's just "weird things my sister has said that I make fun of her for"

#twisted wonderland #reposting old art but i will never not make fun of her for her incredibly pretentious opinions about the local mall's architectural design #yuu listening to malleus be weird about buildings is supposed to be relateable right #that said this is also the only place i get to talk about twst so it is also just...a lot of my thoughts spilling out everywhere #(sorry other fandoms) #(i have spaces where i can debate the various merits of himeno/rita versus morfonia/rita) #(the correct answer is that rita has two hands but i digress) #but where else can i talk at length about these anime disney dipshits who have flawless eyeliner and zero emotional intelligence #me at the top of my lungs: you don't understand that's his DAD #the group dm: w...what are you talking about #there's gonna be a few posts today sorry #gotta get some stuff out before the update tonight/tomorrow morning/whatever happens and becomes all i think about for the next week

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Ateez as Dads-

collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell who shares the same single braincell as me bc we know we're not the only ones obsessed with the recent ateez x children content

(disclaimer: i don't like babies. but the idea of ateez handling babies? adorable. loren, however, loves kids so here's the outcome)

Hongjoong

"hold this thing, i don't know what to do with it."

"that's your child, hongjoong."

looks like the frightened hamster meme when the baby starts crying out of nowhere

sometimes sleeps through the baby crying its lungs out at night LMAO but that's only when he's exhausted asf

bet he'll write a song or two about fatherhood too and you'll be like 'what would you know about it you slept through the night'

may be uncomfortable at times but when he starts bonding, you'll see it in his actions

like when he reforms cute little things like clothings or shoes for his baby, adding little dangly things to the crib

or when he makes cute accessories for the baby

matching reformed things omg

super stylish matching parent-kid duo

the bonding literally happens with the smallest moment like one day the baby is crying in his arms and tugs at his shirt with its little fist and he's done for he loves his kid 10000x more all of a sudden

and when the baby calms down immediately after coming into his arms? he'll die of happiness

and when the baby recognises him in a group of people??? new level of dad unlocked

literally melts whenever the kid runs across the room to fly into his arms or calls him daddy

paints the room for his kid and gives them a wall in their room to paint whatever they like

lets the kid paint his nails and they could even have that one matching painted fingernail omg

later when the kid grows up they'll have uv lights and like the latest stuff for nails but you bet hongjoong's gonna dry that nail paint by blowing on it-

literally the most supportive, allowing the kid to explore beyond conventional boundaries and guiding them along

also very attentive esp when they start growing up and observing

he'll make sure he answers all of their curious little questions to the best of their understanding

and surprisingly, he won't mind his kid in his studio

like how adorable is it when you find your kid in his lap, sharing earphones as he composes?

he just loves it when they sit on him or when they lie down next to him/on top of him when he's resting that's his therapy

Seonghwa

more of a mother than the real mother

knows exactly what to do like he's raised six kids already (i'm looking at you ateez)

wakes up at ass o clock in the morning to shush the crying baby so you can get some sleep :')

mother-coded that's what he is

you'll definitely be learning motherhood from him LMAO

but jokes aside he's actually the best partner you could have asked for in such a situation

he's so so patient with the kid and you

esp you

he understands when you're overwhelmed and when you need a break

so he's always willing to give you some space and takes care of the kid in the meanwhile which is so :')

so you try your best to return it to him in every way as well <3

you'll both be figuring this journey out together and that's the best part

bonds with the kid so good

esp when they start going to school and he literally can't wait for them to get home so he can hear about how their day was

lives for the gossip he gets from his kids about school too LOL

he'll be like yass give me the tea come on

also pretty much behaves like a kid when he's having a good time with his kids

like he goes 'no it's my turn to select the ice cream flavour you have to try this you'll love it i'm not hearing a no-'

kids teach him new slangs but you bet he'll stick to the good old 'no cap' and 'yeet'

gets matching stupid stuff like those green alien glasses for him and the kid-

you just know your kids will love him more than you and you accept it. you don't mind that at all bc he's such a lovable person

he'll always be running around the house with them trying to catch them or letting them catch him

they will watch animated movies together and draw together and make legos together they're gonna share that obsession

he's there. always. in every moment of their life :')

Yunho

curious to learn

but that doesn't stop him from playing with the baby like they're a toy boi has no fear

he's always gushing over how small and cute and adorable they are

he'll also be a bit scared at first to hold the baby in his arms but will get used to it real quick

loves feeding them and cleaning them with you

he's got some sort of magic to him too he can soothe a crying baby in seconds

plays with them/holds them like they're a cat/puppy

gives them rides on his shoulders and they love it you can hear their laughter ring around the house

teases you about how they look nothing like you but if they do look like you more, he'll be scanning them for one similarity that he can boast about.

"he's got my smile. see?"

loves playing with their hair and combing and styling it

also loves it when you all match unintentionally when going out

the type to play with the kids in the most unconventional ways when you're not looking

almost accidentally drops the baby at least once a week- i said ALMOST okay he's good at catching.

kids cling on to his long legs and he effortlessly walks like no big deal omgg

would even swing his legs like an amusement ride which might possibly earn a scream from you-

also once used the laundry basket as a rollercoaster for the kid. you can imagine how that ended. no living beings were harmed tho-

HE'S A FUN DAD OK

literally his kids are always running around him asking him to do sth fun with them or tell them jokes or play with him

teaches the kids the latest trends

makes dancing tik toks with them

he's actually also the super responsible dad, always dependable. you literally have nothing to worry about esp bc he can be serious when he needs to be

he allows the kids to take challenges, believing the kids need to grow at their own pace and that getting hurt is also a part of growing up

teaches them to be kind, to respect people, to always smile

goes on dates with them to the amusement parks, aquariums, carnivals etc and when they're older they go fishing or go-karting

Yeosang

(sincerely apologise for using a photo with alcohol in a post with babies BUT DOES HE NOT LOOK BABY HERE???)

the babiest of dads

googles whatever the baby does as if that will give him the answer

notices every little thing the baby does

follows instructions like a robot

forgets that the baby is actually a baby and they can't really do their stuff themselves so he has to do it for them-

like for example after a meal he clears the high chair and forgets he needs to help the baby off the chair until it wails LOL

is always worrying about what the baby is feeling esp when it is crying without a reason

always fusses about the little things bc he cares so much :')

sometimes you have to sit him down and tell him that it's okay if the baby is crying-

he even enjoys simply watching the baby esp when they do stupid stuff or play around with food

"that's disgusting but so adorable"

gets taught the latest trends by his kid but still ends up using them in the wrong contexts lmao

yeosang and the kid wailing about the mom on their way home until yeo takes the wrong turn and the kid glares at him and points to the right direction

yeosang and the kid in the shopping mall and yeosang gets lost

goes to the counter to pay but taps his pockets bc he can't find his wallet and the kid sighs loudly and hands it to him

yeosang taking his kid to the parent teacher meeting and he forgets HE'S the parent

he may be forgetful and zone out at times but he's actually very responsible. you never worry whenever you leave your kid with him and go out. you can depend on him <3

you'll see him mature as his kids grow up too, like you can literally see him learning fatherhood

doesn't mean they won't open dexter's laboratory when you're gone and clean up the mess before you come-

sees cute posts about lunchboxes with octopus sausage and seaweed characters on the rice but canNOT replicate it even after spending hours but the kids flaunt it like a masterpiece at their school <3 (loren you're so right for this)

his kids' friends WILL have a crush on yeosang. the teachers might too. how could you not??

his kids gon be the prettiest istg-

San

i'm sorry to break it to you but you'll have to take care of two babies <3

as loren said 'normal children learn behaviours from their parents. san learns behaviours from the baby.'

pretends to cry when the baby is crying so he can also receive hugs and kisses from you

he's actually the most responsive father ever, like he'll know what's actually happening with the kid instead of pretending to know

it's like he's connected to them on an astral level

so he's pretty much a natural caretaker

like he said, he knows how to give love

so he'll never make you feel less loved as well

he'll keep reassuring you how imp you are to him esp now that you're the mother of his child and he'll always be grateful to you for bringing this blessing into his life

but he also has his moments LMAO like i can just imagine him playing with the kid in the most babiest of manners

to the point the kid refuses to listen to you

the kids will always ALWAYS choose him whenever they're asked the 'who do you love more mom or dad' question

and even though that makes you pissed momentarily bc pls who wouldn't get pissed you find it super adorable how much your kids love their dad

safe place.

tells his kids early on what's good and what's bad. no compromises

teaches them when to be sorry and when to stand up for themselves

taekwondo together <3 he'll make them show off at family events or stuff and demand that the audience give good reactions otherwise he's gonna pout sooo hard

he'll make sure his kids don't laze around. chores? yes. exercise? yes. nap-time? necessary. homework? don't even dare to say no. play-time? HELL YES

teaches traditional games to his kids too and makes them interact with other kids to play instead of video games so early on

the video games are HIS okay they can't touch it until they grow up

kids go to him for help in school work and he'll sit there all zoned out wondering when the hell this got included in their syllabus

will refuse to give up until you catch him tired and scratching his head in confusion

"i'm pretty sure education gets tougher every year."

"whatever helps you sleep at nights san <3" LOL

loves spending time together, all of you, anywhere as long as you all are together <3

Mingi

9/10 times will cry when the baby cries

but also really good at taking care of them and it amazes him too

calms the baby down with the cutest most concerned face ever so he looks more baby than the baby

pretends to sleep when the baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night

until you poke his stomach and go 'don't you fucking dare' and he starts laughing helplessly

but then takes the reins and lets you sleep if you look too done <3

jokingly tries to gaslight you into thinking it's your turn to settle the baby but you bet you're keeping tabs too

but when he sees how tired you look, he'll never ever complain no matter how tired he may be himself. will even tuck YOU into bed

the type to sit in the lounge with some kid's show on with the kid itself and you give him snacks to feed the kid

but at some point he got a taste and now he's looking at the packaging and going 'this shit good' when it's actually some baby-friendly snack 😭

and then suddenly it's all gone and the kid is glaring at mingi with angry eyes 😭😭 and he's like pleasure is temporary my child-

but now he has his own fav baby snacks too.

does freestyle rapping about the misery of fatherhood LMAO

also does lame stuff like tapping on the baby's shoulder and when they turn to look at him he has his finger out so it pokes the baby's cheek like-

gets matching shades for him and the kid

hangs out with them a lot, even if it's inside

hears every story they have to tell but also they just looooveee to hear stories from him bc he's a good storyteller

even though half of the shit is made up but he pretends it actually happened-

"one time i saw your mom ugly crying in a shop. i asked her what the matter was. she saw me and fell in love instantly."

"wasn't it the other way?"

loves swinging his kids in his arms whenever he comes home and then you stand there all pouty and he runs after you-

can't scold kids to save himself. can never. always bursts out laughing whenever he glares at them. so you do that for him.

now you're the antagonist in the house

can't handle when his kids are being adorable like he'll just clutch his heart and pretend to faint

best father-kid dynamic bc he's the playful but responsible dad

Wooyoung

he's a natural at this come on

"i feel like he's more my sibling than my own child"

always has his baby in his arms to the point you have to snatch it from him bc you can see he's tired

takes care of everything- from bathing them to feeding them. he's so good at it too

you love him even more bc he may tease you to bits but you never thought he'd be a cooperative lovable menace too

talks to the baby in baby language and they actually hold conversations

and when you join he'll just make fun of you LOL

starts treating you like a baby too when you're tired and you're not sure you hate that you might actually start doing it on purpose too-

taught the kid the art to charm people so they're throwing random cheeky compliments around

like they'll go to a shop and the kid will compliment the shopkeeper and they'll be like omg so precious and hand freebies

and those freebies would be wooyoung's earnings btw aint no way the kid gon have those

will train a family of cutest loveable menaces :')

the chef dad

creates masterpiece lunchboxes for his kids that even the teachers are tempted to steal

i can just imagine the girl friend (also crush) of wooyoung's son at school having a big fat crush on wooyoung and wanting to marry him like come on😭😭

then the son gets super grumpy about it and woo sits him down and asks what's bothering him

then he'll teach him how to bake cookies and the son ends up sweeping the girl off her feet omgg

woo placing his hands over his kid's hands bc they're too small to properly hold the piping bag when they decorate cakes and cookies and cupcakes

them playing in the kitchen and throwing flour on each other and you come and look all smugly at woo bc yes you're gonna clean this mess later on

but you end up joining them :')

dolls up his kids and asks them to kiss him on both his cheeks before they leave

and you bet the kids love that routine

hugs. all the time. hugs.

makes sure to capture these moments for memories if you haven't already and he'll love looking back at these days <3

Jongho

best dad

makes sure he doesn't forget to take care of you as you take care of the baby :')

always gets surprised when the baby does sth new

priceless reactions from him, esp when the baby first says a comprehensible word or takes its first steps

always spreading his arms whenever he spots the baby so the baby can crawl/walk/run to him

swings them in the air and does those little throws

the strong dad. the one who's carrying the kids effortlessly- one on the shoulder, one under the arm, walking as if they weigh nothing

jongho's kid: hi i'm hungry

jongho: hi hungry, i'm dad

overuses every dumb dad joke ever to exist but still finds it super hilarious and sometimes you'll end up laughing along

"back in my days-"

"ah shit here we go again."

bc you know dad jokes aside he's actually a super funny guy when he wants to be

the type to team up with his kid to tease YOU

whispers shit in their ears like 'go pull out your mom's hairclip as revenge for her not letting us hang out in the snow with ice cream last night' when you're super occupied and gets a good laugh out of it

taps your shoulder and then looks away when you glare at him but ends up pointing at the kid like the kid's the one who did it-

when the two are a giggling mess it's hard to differentiate who's the actual kid from the parent

sings with his kids a lot. might vocally train them a bit too

road trips are gonna be so much more fun when everyone's singing at the top of their lungs

when his kid is older and starts to get school assignments that require some form of art like creating a model or designing a poster, his kid is definitely going to score an A because jongho can and WILL help and end up over-achieving LOL

will plan with his kids on days like valentine's or mother's day or anniversary, prepare to get serenaded by the lot

he involves them a lot in everything so they grow up super smart

loves doing stupid things with the kids too like he'll literally be the one following the kids at times

but you love it bc you never have to worry about anything with him ;-; <3 he's also super protective

unless there's a bug in front of you. then you're all on your own.

#in my delulu era #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez fluff #ateez headcanons #ateez drabbles #seonghwa x reader #hongjoong x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #choi san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #seonghwa fluff #hongjoong imagines #hongjoong scenarios #hongjoong fluff #wooyoung imagines #yunho fluff #yunho imagines #yeosang imagines #yeosang fluff #san imagines #choi san fluff #wooyoung fluff #jongho imagines

[clxja16]

Our Life

Pierre Gasly x Reader

Genre: established relationship, parents au!, dad Pierre

Warnings: angst, yelling, arguing

Word Count: 1.5K+

Author's Note: I realize this is probably the most I have ever posted here. and this is probably the first time I have two different 'on-going' stories out at the same time. well I had this idea for a while, except it was with Charles and I can't keep posting things with Charles man. but this concept works with Pierre so yeah. I don't think there will be a part two, unless you guys absolutely beg for a part two but there's a happy ending so yeah. also Idk if this is a fear for a lot of people or if im just being irrational, because its definitely a fear for me lol. anyway enjoy reading, pls let me know what you think.

------------------------

“If I want my son at the race then he will be at the race,” Pierre spoke loudly as he tried to get his point across to you.  

“Pierre, he’s only 10 months, I don’t think a race track when cars are flying past is the best idea for him,” you matched Pierre’s volume, you couldn’t understand why he just wouldn’t get it.  

“He can wear a headset, just like all the other drivers' kids do, I want my son at the race with me,”  Pierre wouldn’t let it go. 

“No Pierre, I don’t want him there, and I don’t want all the media with pictures of our son, we’ll be…”

“You don’t have to come this weekend, but my son will be there this weekend, nanny can come with him.” 

“Pierre you’re not getting it, I don’t think that's the best environment for our son, right now, maybe when he’s a little older.”  

“y/n what do you think is gonna happen to him?” 

“I don’t know,” you shook your head at this point, “anything could happen to him, I don’t wanna risk it.” 

Pierre sighed, running his hands through his hair, “he’s coming to the race this weekend, he’s my son…” 

“OUR SON,” you shouted at the top of your lungs, cutting Pierre as the tears finally escaped you, “he is our son.” 

The sound of the baby crying coming through the monitor stopped you from continuing on.  You and Pierre both sighed, knowing that you’re shouting at each other is what woke him.  “Let me…” Pierre spoke up first.  

You waved your hand to dismiss him, “I’ll get him.” You quickly exited your shared bedroom with Pierre and made your way to the nursery, wiping away the escaped tears.  Down the hall, before you entered the nursery you took a deep breath, calming your racing heart.  

“Hi boy,” you spoke softly to the crying baby, picking him up.  You held him close to you, afraid that he would be taken away.  You closed your eyes, breathing him in, your perfect son. You cradled him in your arms, rocking him back to sleep.  You watched him sleepily yawn, he had his father’s eyes. Eyes you loved very much.  

“Dear,” Marta called out to you.  Marta was an older woman that Pierre hired as a housekeeper to help around the house.  Marta didn’t have any kids, her husband had died many years ago.  She became a mother to you, since your mother wasn’t anywhere near.  

“Marta,” you sighed, “I’m sorry, did me and Pierre wake you?” Because it’s only Marta by herself, Pierre had her move into the downstairs bedroom, it’s especially helpful when Pierre is away during the season.  

“Don’t worry about me, I can sleep plenty when I’m no longer here,” Marta smiled, taking a seat next to you in the nursery, “what’s bothering you?” 

You shook your head, as you smiled at your little boy in your arms, “Pierre wants to take the boy to Monza this weekend, and I don’t think it’s a good idea.”  

“That’s not it,” Marta said, as she gave you a look.  A look a mother gives when she knows her child is lying. 

You felt the tears begin to well in your eyes, “he’s our son.” You whisper into the night, like the words are a sin.  You look up at Marta, meeting her kind eyes, her eyes telling you to continue you on.  “He’s our son,” you speak a little louder, as the tears fall, “he’s not just Pierre’s son, he’s my son too.”  

“I see,” Marta hums, nodding her head, “and? Why does that bother you?” 

“He’s all I have left Marta.” You pulled the baby closer to you.  “He’s all I have.”  You took a deep breath, closing your eyes.  You breathed him in, you burned this moment to your memories.  You treat this as if it’s your last moment with your son.  You opened your eyes looking at Marta, “He’s all I have.  You know, when I got pregnant, it wasn’t planned.  It was an accident, me and Pierre had only been together for just under two years.  But we said we were gonna do this, we were gonna have this kid and raise him together.  Pierre makes more money than me.”  You took another deep breath, trying to gather all your thoughts.  “I had a good job, a place of my own, but there was no way I could raise a child by myself, and I couldn’t expect Pierre to move.  He lives in Milan because it’s best for his career, he was set up already.  I gave up all that I had, so he could be in his son’s life, and maintain his career.”  

“You regret that?” 

“No, no, never, Pierre is so good with him.  He’s such a good father,” you smiled at the thought of Pierre with the boy.  “But I’m so scared Marta.” you felt guilty for even speaking your feelings aloud.  “Everything belongs to Pierre.  I live in Pierre’s house, I drive Pierre’s cars, I fly on Pierre’s dime, I am completely dependent on Pierre.  We’re not married, I own nothing, all I have is this boy, and Pierre has all the power to take him away.”  

“You think…” 

“I know,” you spoke quickly, “I know Pierre wouldn’t just randomly kick me out, but that doesn’t mean I don’t fear the possibility.”  You felt the hot strikes of your tears, “If Pierre doesn’t want me anymore, I won’t have anything.  I have no money to my name, I have no job, no place to stay, I have nothing without Pierre.  If he decides he no longer wants me, I have no way to support myself or go back home.” 

“That possibility scares you?” 

“It does, and everytime we argue, he reminds me of that possibility, by saying ‘my son.’  He’s not his son, he’s our son, our child.  Both mine and his, our son, together.” 

“Oh dear,” Marta sighed, as she stood, pulling you close to her standing figure.  

“Is it wrong to be scared?” you asked as you silently sobbed, holding your son closer to you.  

“No dear, it’s not wrong to be scared, it’s the world we live in.”  Marta said, as she held onto you tightly, wishing she could take away your fears.  She wondered where in her lifetime did she go wrong?  Why do the women of today have the same fears as the women of before? 

Little to your knowledge, Pierre had overheard your conversation with Marta.  And he thought how could he be so stupid?  How did he not realize how damaging his words were?  How did he not realize the weight they carried?  How could he allow this to happen?  He mentally slapped himself over and over again for not realizing his mistake.  Our son, the boy, was your’s and Pierre’s son.  

-

“Pierre, where are we going?” you asked as you sat in the passenger seat, as Pierre drove.  

“To do something I should’ve done a long time ago,” Pierre said, as he pulled into a parking garage.  

“Isn’t this your lawyers’ law firm?” you asked, as Pierre parked the car.  

“Yes,” Pierre answered, as he made his way around the car to open the door for you.  

“What are we doing here?” 

“You’ll see,” Pierre said, taking your arm, as the two of you walked into the building lobby.  You silently followed after Pierre, as he made through the lobby, up the elevator and to his lawyer’s office. You watched him exchange a few words with the man behind the desk, before the two of you took a seat, opposite of the lawyer.  “I’m sorry these changes are a bit spur of the moment, but it’s something I should have done a long time ago.” 

“Since the house is paid off, it was actually really easy changes,” the lawyer spoke before setting down paperwork before you and Pierre.  “I’ll just need you both to sign on the line, and initially at the tabs.” 

“Pierre what is this?” you asked, picking up the paperwork before.  

“I’m putting your name on the house,” Pierre said, as he signed his set of paperwork.  

“What?” you asked, as you threw the papers back on the desk, as if they were burning your hands.  “Pierre this is a big thing, that’s your house…” 

“Our,” Pierre said, correcting your statement.  The one word had you shutting your mouth.  

“Huh?” 

“Our house,” Pierre said, as he set his paperwork and pen down, “We have a son together, and our son needs a home.  We need a home for our family.  This house can be our home, together.  y/n, I should have done this when you gave up everything for me, for our family together.  I am sorry this is so late, too late, but I want it to be our home together.  This is our life together, none of this mine anymore.”  

You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face even if the devil himself appeared before you.   You signed away at the line and initialed at all the tabs.  You were so grateful that Pierre was willing to share his life with you.  “You know, you could’ve just asked me to marry you,” you joked as you and Pierre made your way back to the car.  

“I am, I’m just going to do it right,” Pierre smirked at you, “plus it actually doesn’t cost money to add someone’s name to the deed of a house, when the house is paid off.”

#formula 1 #formula 1 au #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 angst #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 au #pierre gasly #pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly au #pierre gasly fanfic #pierre gasly as a dad #alpine f1 #f1 2023

[ghouljams]

Ghoul if you don’t write Ghost absolutely falling apart ugly crying when he discovers what Gooses scar is about and how he possibly could have never met the love of his life Elmo is gonna SUE

Make. That. Man. Cry!!!

He doesn’t even bother knocking when he opens your door. You clutch your shirt to your chest, glaring over your shoulder at Simon. Rude. He just raises a brow and shuts the door tight behind him.

“Got a minute?” He asks, moving close, and you know you’re not going to tell him no. Not when his hand cups your face and he lets you tug his mask down to kiss him, your shirt forgotten on the floor.

He must’ve just come in. His skin is still warm from the sun where you touch him, and there’s the last taste of tobacco on his tongue. His hand slides over your chest as he kisses you, giving your breast an appreciative squeeze before dragging towards your fly. You make a quiet noise against his lips when it slips over your scar, his touch stilling against the slightly raised edges of it.

Simon's fingers feel over the scar, rough calloused pads dragging along the sensitive delicate skin. The ugly line of it where it cuts across your stomach. He drags his fingers along the whole thing, from your waist to where it stops just below your belly button. You wish you knew what he was thinking. You've had years to grow out of being self conscious, but that didn't mean it didn't still rear its ugly head. Especially when it was a man you- 

Simon probably doesn't even care, his torso is littered with scars. You're sure he doesn't even remember how he got half of them. 

"How'd you get this beauty?" He asks, so quiet you almost don't hear him.

"Sort of a blur," you tell him. He nods like he understands, you think he does.

"Tell me." Simon hums, dropping to his knees and pressing his lips to the top of the scar on your waist. You do your best not to wince, remembering the way the bull's horn had torn into you.

"Was helping the Lucas'," You start, "their bull is tipped now but back then they were all about-" Simon kisses you again, lower down the scar, your breath hitches, "-natural, uh, natural horns. I must've spooked it or something because it-" you let out a pained hum when he presses his lips lower still, tracing the line of the scar with his mouth, "-it caught me with its horn and ripped me clean open." You finish in a rush, Simon freezes.

"It what?" You hate when his voice goes even like that. When you can't hear his breathing anymore.

"Gutted, tore, nearly eviscerated," you give him the words the doctors used, that your dad used when he was upset. Your stomach jumps when Simon kisses it again, clean flesh this time, and presses his forehead against your diaphragm. "If Soap hadn't been there I probably wouldn't have made it," that's what the doctors had told him at least, "you know how long it takes EMS to get anywhere out here," Simon's fingers tighten on your hips, "he kept pressure the whole time, made sure all my guts stayed put." 

You thread your fingers through Simon's hair, scratching and pulling affectionately, "It's funny I don't even remember what we'd gone over to help with, but I remember how blue the sky was while I was laying in the grass waiting."

Simon has gone very quiet. He's completely still, save for his thumbs rubbing small circles against your hips. You're not sure who he's soothing. It happens quickly, his arms wrap around your hips and lift you so fast you have to duck to avoid hitting the ceiling fan. Curling over his head before he drops you on your bed. 

You let out a noise of surprise, opening your arms for him as Simon climbs on top of you and lays down. His head settled against your chest, his arms wrapped tight around your waist, he doesn't say a word and you- you don't either. You let him have his silence. You let him lay on you, listen to the beat of your heart, the way your lungs fill when you take a breath, the rush of blood, the sounds of life. A life he almost missed. 

He's never been more thankful for one Sergeant MacTavish in his life. Never been more thankful for you, and all the little ways life had to go just right for him to meet you. Your fingers scratch the base of his skull, and you’re humming some quiet lilting tune he doesn’t know, but he wants to. He wants to know every thought that goes through your head, every kindness you’ll ever afford him. Every way he could show you he loves you. 

“You cryin’ baby?” You ask him gently, there’s no judgement in your voice, just the question.

“No.” He lies, feeling you hum your acceptance.

“S’okay,” You tell him, “I don’t mind.”

And you don’t. So he does.

Big heaving silent sobs that shake his whole body, fat tears that you brush away with every gentleness. You don’t think Ghost has ever cried, but you think Simon has needed to for a while. And he’s crying for you, over a loss that didn’t happen, over the pain you went through. Over the lonely days waiting for your body to be whole again, and the fact that neither of you will ever be lonely again. Maybe you’ll be hurt, but never lonely. You’ll make sure of it. He’ll make sure of it.

"Johnny burn down the Lucas' house?" Simon asks, looking up from where he'd buried his face in your chest with watery eyes.

"Just their barn," you cup his cheek, wiping away a stray tear with your thumb. Simon gives you a little hiccuping sob around his frown and angry eyebrows.

"Should've killed 'em." It's a little hard to take him seriously when his voice wobbles like that. When his lip trembles and tears start falling again. You shush him, and let him press his face against you again.

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #oc: Goose #cowboy!Ghost #I don't think Simon ugly cries #I think he's very quiet about it #he doesn't want to burden others(or himself) with his emotions #good thing Goose wants him to be a burden on her #they lay together for a long time after this just being together #I think Simon falls asleep on her after he cries himself out #and then Goose is just stuck there #i feel like we get a little ooc with the crying but its part of his healing journey

[adventuringblind]

Unrequited Understanding

Norlestappen x Reader

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort

Summary: Her father comes back into her life as a replacement race engineer. Now she can't escape him and his voice when she does the one thing she thought he couldn't touch.

Warnings: eating disorder, abuse, past child abuse, sef harm, suicide attempt

Notes: for @ashiekins, I hope you like it! I'M SORRY FOR THE ENDING I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

January

The new year had never felt so sweet. Her victory with Max and Redbull had been a dream. Max taking another championship, had the entire team walking on cloud nine.

She spent new years with her boys. It's tradition at this point to messily kiss all together as the new year comes around.

They'd done so much for her. She's come so far in her journey.

"What are you thinking about, Love?" Neither her nor Lando could sleep. Most nights, they end up talking to get the heavy thoughts to lessen a bit. It's why they get one half of the bed to themselves.

"How nice it feels to know I'm still here and loved." She rests her head on Lando's chest, the steady rythme of his heart lulling her into a restful state.

"Life wouldn't be the same without you." He kisses the top of her head as her mind finally gives into sleep.

February

Her and Max sit together at the large conference table. The factory is preparing for the new season. Energy is running high, and she can feel it crackling in the atmosphere.

Christian talks about how excited he is for the new season. 2023 is going to be theirs to dominate. Adrian has been working tirelessly to give them a title worthy car.

"We have had to make some last-minute changes to the team, unfortunately." Christian makes eye contact with her, and the good feeling she had dissolves. "Your race engineer has fallen terminally ill and is being hospitalized. The good news is we've found a last-minute replacement."

The door opens, and she feels the air leave her lungs. Her body shakes in fear of the man who takes confident strides to his chair.

Christian introduces them, clearly not understanding that they know each other very well. The man is her father, after all.

She has her mother's last name. Intent on separating herself from him entirely. He'd been doing Indie car for years. She never thought he'd make the switch after how they left things.

Max shoots her a concerned look, but she shakes it off. None of the boys had ever seen what her father looks like. They don't know she changed her last name.

She has no intention of ruining a good season because of her petty emotions. So, she says nothing.

March

It's not as bad as she thought it would be. They don't interact much aside from talking about data and while she's in the car.

The underhanded comments make her thoughts reel. The constant questioning of her skill while she's driving makes her think she's crazy. Her father is too good at making it look like a joke. People laugh with him, not understanding he means what he says.

He talks over her, cuts her off, bosses her around like she's still a child. She shrinks in on herself every time he cones around.

Stay silent and listen. That's what got her through her childhood. Just don't make him angry.

He lashes out when he's angry.

Charles is there when a nightmare causes her to be sick. A memory of her childhood that haunts her still.

The Monegasque holds her hair up and rubs her back as she sobs. He makes her a warm drink and holds her, letting her wet tears soak into his shirt.

"Do you want to talk about it, mon chéri?" He whispers gently against her forehead.

She inhales, breath catching in her throat as she does. "My dad, he - well - he used to say I'd never be anything. I sometimes dream about the memory."

"Your father and Jos can fuck off." Charles cups her face with his hands. "You are amazing. Whatever he told you is a lie. You've proven yourself to the world. Your younger self can rest knowing she got you here, that you are safe and loved and enough."

April

It's getting worse by the day. She's not sure where her father got the idea that he could order her around like she's still five and karting. It's getting annoying and ridiculous.

He's taken to snatching any food out of her hand and tossing it away into the nearest bin. What a waste. He could've eaten it himself.

He keeps telling her the car is too heavy. The data doesn't show that, but whatever. Her food being taken from her like when she was young was not how she expected the season to go. She takes to not eating because it's easier than fighting with him.

Her physio keeps asking her about why her weight seems to be plummeting recently. Even trying to get it back on her with altered meal plans. The concerns get brought up later in a meeting with Christian. The severity of her condition being made apparent.

Max watches her sob over a salad. She can tell he wants to push, asked what is causing the relapse. Understand where her head is at.

He hands her a water bottle and waits until she drinks the entire thing. "It's okay to struggle, but please don't shut us out. You don't have to do this alone, alright?"

She doesn't respond, simply collapses into his patient arms.

May

Lando and Charles happened to be passing by at the worst time. The Redbull garage still buzzing with the excitement of Max's podium and her mediocre result compared.

They saw her race engineer laying into her about every mistake. No other staff around to hear the conversation. Her head hung in shame as he pointed out every flaw.

Charles interrupts with such ease. He says her PR officer was looking for her earlier. It gets her to excuse herself from the conversation, leaving the two boys with her engineer.

"Mind your own business next time," scoffs the older man. He leaves the younger two confused.

Charles takes in Lando's mildly anxious body movements. "Something isn't right, Charles. She had that same look from when we were rookies."

Charles hums in agreement. "We'll have to wait for her to come to us for now."

June

The underhanded comments are getting progressively worse. People have started noticing that something is off about her race engineer and his behavior towards her.

Meetings are difficult and the team is walking on eggshells. Max looks ready to explode and has been ripping her father to pieces after every comment. He gets in trouble, so she asks him to stop.

She doesn't mind. Her whole life has been taking this kind of behavior from him. Max knows better than anyone that it's best to respect that kind of ask.

"I'm here if things ever get to a point where you want it to stop. I will always be here for you."

July

Her wight combined with her self-harming habits are making it harder to drive. Somewhere in her head she knows she can't continue like this. The car no longer works with her.

Christian keeps pulling her into his office and asking her about where she's at. Warning her the if she continues down this road, she won't be able to drive. That he'll be forced to find a replacement.

She cries as the boys hold her. She tells them she's not sure if she can do it anymore, that she's not cut out for this sport. They comfort and reassure her that's a lie.

Her thoughts remain stuck on being a burden to them. She gets better just to fall once more into her old habits. They have careers and goals that would be easier to achieve without her around.

Maybe her father is right about her after all.

August

The summer break brings them a much-needed reprieve from the fast-paced world they live in. She gets to spend time away from the incessant voice of the man she hates. Her boys occupying her mind instead.

There is a finality about this that she can't explain. Like things can only get better from here on out. That something in her future is going to bring her the one thing she's looking for.

Swimming in the ocean and eating what they want. They laugh and joke like nothing has changed. It's the first time in months that she feels normal.

This is how things should be. The smile on her face is genuine and the boys can all tell.

September

The cuts line her skin in an unorganized fashion. Angry, red, and bleeding. Her race had been ended early due to a collision. She'd been collateral damage; it wasn't her fault.

The media didn't see it that way. Her father definitely had no mercy when he mercilessly explained how she will never be good enough as a driver.

Hidden away in her drivers' room now, watching the blood pour from her skin. The boys know, they've seen the fresh lines. They are trying to find a way to get her to stop, but these feeling are fighting back harder than ever before. She's not sure how to fight them anymore.

Disappearing seems like the best option. The only way she'll be able to escape the dark thoughts swirling in her head. The one place her father won't be able to touch her anymore will be in her death.

She moans as the blade digs deeper. The ecstasy that accompanies addiction is a feeling she will always crave. Sick satisfaction bubbles in her throat and pour out on her eyes as red stains the floor.

This wasn't her plan, but it's okay. The pain makes all her thoughts go away. Lessens the weight on her chest. Forces her mind to focus on something else.

Everything is spinning and then it goes dark.

Warm hands and comforting words. That's all she's ever wanted.

October

The boys can see how sick she is. Max won't let her be alone in the garage. Not after she almost died.

Her physio is with her when none of the boys are. They keep asking her questions that she won't give answers to.

It's not until an altercation with her father is finally caught. He's condemning her over the radio while she's driving. They'd had an argument earlier about how she should be taking turn three.

The public execution is miserable. Still, she puts her head down and drives.

The second-place trophy has never felt heavier. It drags her arms downwards as she heads to the garage with Max. He doesn't know about what happened yet and she hopes it stays that way. She screams as she puts it away in her room.

She avoids her father as much as possible on the way to the press conference. The glimpse she does get of him leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. Christian looks angry as he presses a finger into her father's chest.

She's zoned out majority of the conference. Until A journalist with a soft voice is asking about her feelings towards her race engineer.

"It's just how things are sometimes. I wasn't listening to instructions, and he was frustrated. It happens." She shrugs it off like this is the most normal everyday occurrence. Which, in her defense, it kind of is.

Every media outlet seems to want to know more about it. Her emotions are struggling to remain contained. the inevitable sobs escape after a particularly worded question about whether his actions could be considered abuse or not.

She breaks, collapsing in the middle of the media pen. Her boys are there blocking the view of the cameras as her body fails to move.

They know now what has been happening. Her secret is out there for everyone to see.

November

Her father is fired from the team with immediate effect. Christian apologizes relentlessly for not knowing and not seeing it sooner.

The media is asked to refrain from asking about the incident and anything regarding her past race engineer. They respect it, probably wanting to avoid another meltdown in the middle of an interview.

Max, Lando and Charles are with her through every step of the way. They encourage her to talk to them and she does. It feels nice not having to hold in her family secrets.

They want to help her, and she wants to be helped.

Her race engineer for the end of the season ends up taking the job for next year. He's kind and keeps his voice calm. Her last few drives amaze everyone.

The top step of the podium has never felt so good. She didn't need to prove herself to anyone, but the confidence it brings her is hard to deny.

Closure feels even better.

December

Her therapist is proud of her for opening up to the boys more. They don't push her to spill everything, but they encourage her when she does.

The end of the year pulls them closer together. After everything that happened, she wasn't sure she was going to see 2024 come around. She's glad she does though.

She fought to the end. She made it to her peace. A place where her father can't touch.

Warm hands and gentle words for all of eternity.

January... Again

Three boys stand in front of a grave. Her favorite flowers in hand. The silence stretches between them. None of them know how to proceed.

The memory of finding her on the floor replays in Max's head. He should've known to find her right after the race. That cold September afternoon in Zandvoort. The day she bled out for one final time.

Charles and Lando assure Max it's not his fault. IT hadn't been her plan. There was no note, not even a warning sign aside from her mental health declining.

Her father, who they now know was the catalyst for her relapse, is in jail. Christian made sure to get him put away so the boys wouldn't have to worry about it.

The other drivers came to the funeral. The journalists respect their wishes not to speak on the matter. They need to heal before they can even think about trying to explain how all three of them had taken time off.

The FIA pushed the races back since Redbull needed to sort things out. The memorial on the track has been visited by everyone on the team.

They tried so hard. They wanted her to stay. They can only hope that she found what she needed in whatever lies beyond this life.

#formula 1 #f1 fanfic #max verstappen #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fanfic #charles leclerc #charles leclerc f1 #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #lando norris f1 #lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #norlestappen #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc x max verstappen #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x lando norris #max verstappen x lando norris #cl16 #mv1 #mv33 #ln4 #f1 fic #f1 x reader

[saintbluues]

can you do lo'ak with an arranged mate?? some angst if you dont mind hehe

"I'm So Sorry."

Lo'ak x Omatikaya! Reader

I hope this is kinda what you asked for D:

word count: 2k

genre: angst with confort

disclaimer: probably ooc Lo'ak at some point. NETEYAM IS ALIVE. LO'AK DIDN'T FALL FOR TSIREYA.

Kinda proofread and I'm not giving the other woman a name because idk how to come up with na'vi names. I ENJOYED THIS ONE

The subject of mating would be brought up a lot since Toruk Makto and his family came back from Awa-atlu, after all, his sons were getting older. Kiri was a different case.

For the last three months, you've been waiting for Lo'ak, worried he'd never come back from wherever he was. Unbeknownst to you, Jake was already arranging mates for his boys, not being able to wait any longer. Absolutely no one was pleased with the arrangements, specially Lo'ak.

With his rebellious nature, he got into a lot of verbal fights with his parents which resulted in nothing but more trouble. How would he tell you that he was about to be mated to someone he barely knew? Lo'ak was supposed to be with YOU and his dad just wouldn't get it. Status was important and your parents weren't anyone special. No warriors. Ho healers. Just the common folk. You and Lo'ak meeting was just pure luck, right place, right time.

"WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME JUST BE HAPPY? WHY DOES WHO I WANT TO BE WITH MATTER TO YOU?!" Lo'ak screamed from the top of his lungs, Neytiri grabbing his arm pulling him back from Jake. "YOU LOWER YOUR VOICE WHEN SPEAKING TO ME, BOY." He had his finger pointed right at his son's face. "You go and tell that girl it's over, you hear me? Whatever was going on between you two, is no more." If Neytiri wasn't grabbing Lo'ak, he'd surely pounce on his father. Angrily he pulled his arm back and walked out bumping shoulders with anyone in front of him.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he walked through the forest thinking of what the hell he would tell you. Just imagining the look on your face made him cry out loud. It was night-time so Lo'ak wasn't expecting to encounter anyone but how lucky was he? It's as if Eywa was against him and put you right in front of him. What were you doing out here at a time like this? Were you trying to get eaten by some random creature?

Lo'ak turned around on his heel ready to walk off but you saw him. You called out for him. He really couldn't do this right now. Anger still bubbling hot inside him.

"Lo'ak!!!" You waved your hand running in his direction while he tried to get away from you. "LO'AK!!!" Maybe he hadn't heard you but he wasn't that far away and the forest was silent. Finally reaching him, you put your hand on his shoulder. He stopped walking just to push you away.

"Leave me alone." What? What was wrong with him? "What happened, Lo?" He was screwed. Your soft preoccupied voice making the entire situation even more overwhelming. "Nothing!! Just go away!" Now this behaviour was strange. If he ever had a fight at home or something of the sort, he'd open up to you and tell you what was frustrating him. You tried to get closer to him once more, gently touching his face but he slapped your hand away. "WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" Shock spread all over your body. You stood there looking at him with wide eyes and your jaw hung open. "Lo'ak…?" You felt so small and fragile like you could break into a million pieces at any moment.

"If saying my name is all you have to say then please go home." Was he even aware of how he was treating you? He clearly wasn't in his right mind because the Lo'ak you knew would never speak to you like this. "Did I do something wrong?" How you managed to make a sentence come out of your mouth, you don't know.

"I did. Engaging in any romantic stuff with you." His own vision was foggy. Saying these things wasn't any easier than listening to them. He was so going to regret it later. "We're done, ___. I have a mate." A mate??? Since when did he have a mate? What about you? Has he been playing with your feelings all along? You gave your all to him and this is what he does?

"What are you talking about, Lo'ak?" He rolled his eyes, turning his head away.

"You heard me!! So get lost." Oh boy. He just kept digging a bigger hole for himself.

What else was there to say? You smiled in acceptance, lowering your head so hopefully he wouldn't notice the tears falling. You felt pathetic enough. With a nod of your head, you left just like he wanted.

Once he was sure you were gone, Lo'ak sat on the grass, elbows propped up on his knees, fingers intertwined with his braids. His cries could probably be heard all throughout the entire forest, losing his voice from how much he screamed. This was something he wouldn't forgive Jake for this.

You really did leave him alone. You did not try to get in contact with him since that night.

Lo'ak hasn't been the same. Silent and minding his business away from his family. Frequently he'd go for walks around the village, hopeful he'd find you. Just seeing your face would lift his spirits a little more. But he didn't. You were never outside, nowhere to be seen.

Everyone sat around a firepit getting ready for dinner. The last few days the Sullys and the family of the girl (her included of course) Lo'ak was supposed to mate would have dinner together, almost forcing the two youngsters to interact. The girl was absolutely smitten with him, always trying to sit next to him, so close to the point their knees would touch. The sentiment was not shared.

This time, to the Sully boy's surprise, someone he so wanted to lay his eyes upon, joined for dinner. You looked devastated, dark circles under your eyes, corneas red. You did look different. In a bad way. And it was all his fault.

You and your family sat on the outer circle contrary to the Sullys who were in the center one. Lo'ak almost broke his neck eyeing you the entire time. If only he could get up and tell you how he didn't mean anything he said, explain what was really going on. For a split second you looked back at him, which made him turn his head back around as fast as he could.

As soon as dinner was over, he ran off, only to be followed by none other than the girl who seemed to now follow him everywhere he went. He didn't even remember her name in all honesty.

"Where are you going, Lo?" Lo? Who does she think she is? Only you can call him that, after all you're the one who came up with the nickname.

"It does not concern you." He always had a poker face around her, giving her the cold shoulder. "You wouldn't like me to tell you father you're sneaking off right?" This woman is absolutely nuts. She has nothing to do with his business. She got no response back. Lo'ak wasn't even going to bother knowing that she was just trying to get on his nerves. "Maybe we could go somewhere secluded aaand-", "what are you implying?" If he was human, he'd probably have a hundred white hairs thanks to her. "You know what I mean…" Her hands roamed around his chest giving him the famous butterfly lashes or whatever. He didn't care.

"Get your fucking hands off of me! Get your ass back home." He left her alone. His feet taking him to your hut.

There wasn't really anything to knock on so he just invited himself in, coming face to face with your father first.

"What do you want, boy?" He wasn't happy to see Lo'ak and that was for sure. Lo'ak didn't feel welcomed at all but he was the one to blame for this situation.

"I just want to talk to ___."

"My child has no business with you."

"I need to clarify some things. It's very, very urgent." To him it was urgent. He couldn't let another day go by without talking to you. Seeing you how he saw you today edged him on even more. "Please, I beg, sir." This was humiliating. He was aware of how much of a fool he looked but you were more important than the shame he felt. Your father stepped out of the way, the first thing coming into vision being you. Lo'ak walked your way, kneeling in front of you.

" ___…" You wouldn't even look at him. He had to choose his words very wisely not wanting to worsen things. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to but I want to apologise for everything I said that day. I didn't mean any of it. My parents made a stupid mate arrangement with another family and nothing I said or how much I fought back mattered to them. I tried, ___. I tried so hard." His hand caressed your cheek. You didn't budge. "The damned girl just won't leave me alone and my father is putting so much pressure on me but that has never stopped me from loving you. That day I was furious after an argument with dad… You just happened to be there at a bad moment and I let it all out. I know I shouldn't have. ___ I need you. I need you by my side so bad."

You finally looked at him, eyebrows furrowed. You felt like a crybaby, crying was all you did in the last week and you were about to do it in front of him. Again.

"I am so sorry, baby." Baby, something he learned from his dad. An English word.

He lifted your hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the back of it and then putting his forehead against it. It felt wet. Was he crying…? You laid your head on his.

"I believe you."

Suddenly he raised his head, bumping it against yours on accident. Typical of Lo'ak.

"Really? Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you, ___. I do! I do!" Happiness radiated off of him, it was contagious.

"I love you too, Lo." Lo sounded so good coming from you.

"I'm going to talk to my father again, and if he disagrees, we'll run away together." He said it so serious it was almost funny. "I need you there with me, please."

You did go with him. Now standing in front of Toruk Makto and whoever the other old men was. You didn't know who, by Lo'ak did, very well. That woman's dad. Lo'ak had your hand in his, standing tall, not letting the two men intimidate him, or you.

"Father. It's the last time I'll be saying this. Call this arrangement off. I already have who I want and I will not be mated to anyone else but them." Oh Jake was pissed. In front of his friend too? Really?

"What is this nonsense?" The other man spoke before Jake could reprehend his son.

"I'm glad YOU are here. Tell your daughter and yourself I want Nothing to do with her. This shit was never my idea anyway." You looked at Lo'ak, concerned about what the consequences of this might be.

"Lo'ak." His father called for him.

"Excuse me?" Eywa, the old man sounded very aggravated, his eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

"You're excused. Leave me be! And dad, nothing you say will change my mind." Lo wrapped his arm around you protectively. You and him reminded Jake of his younger self and Neytiri. Could he really punish his younger son for this? For loving? Jake has been nothing but a hypocrite and it was time for him to stop and get some sense knocked into his head. Jake stood up, turning to the warrior previously sitting next to him.

"My friend… We'll talk about this later, just the two of us." There wasn't much to talk about. It was obvious this arrangement was over with.

In no time, he left, leaving father, son and his lover behind. Jake grabbed Lo'ak's upper arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sorry son. ___." It sounded genuine. No need for any more fights about this.

You smile up at Toruk Makto, a hand at your chest showing gratitude for his understanding at last.

#avatar the way of water #lo'ak sully #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak #avatar 2 #avatar fanfiction #avatar x reader #lo'ak fanfiction #lo'ak x you #lo'ak angst #loak x you #my work #loak x reader #lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan #lo'ak x y/n

[indouloureux]

basically you and Joseph are good friends since being cast together on s4. he comes over to your sleeping place one day, and asks you on advice on telling a girl he's known for a while that he likes her. little does oblivious reader know that the girl is us👹. basically you give him advice (choice), and he thanks you and walks out. in legit a minute he walks back into your house and does the thing you advised him to do.

I apologize for the crappy writing, I thought this scenario up at 3 am

THIS IS REALLY FUCKING CUTE SUKSJSKSJS

when he asked if he could come over and "hang out," you don't expect him to be standing like a lost, nervous child in front of you, with his hands on his sides and head ducked low, eyes on his gently tapping feet.

"what's up?" you say, cautiously, like one wrong word and he'd snap into something preternatural.

joseph's head lifts, wide and glossed with nervousness. he offers you what is a forced smile, laughing dryly before he sits on the couch beside you, patting his sweaty palms onto the denim of his jeans. so wet that they'd grown darker than their usual color.

"so, um, i need...advice," he begins, scratching the hair behind his ear. "it's um- relationship. related."

your heart drops to your feet, shattering on the carpeted floor because it didn't need the porcelain tiles to break it's structure. like a film reel does imaginations of joseph with someone else flip like a lugubrious flashback, but you manage to put a feigned surprised smile on your face.

"oh!" you raise your eyebrows. "tell me."

"i want to, um, ask this girl out," he laughs nervously, almost too forced like he's reliving a faux pas inside his head. "she's um, i think you know her."

"well, i hope i do," you match his de rigueur smile, top teeth poking out between your two pink lips to at least show him how genuinely happy you are. and you really are. really, really fucking happy. "because then it'll be easier to know if they'll treat my friend right."

friend friend friend

fucking friend.

"hah. well, um, she's really close with us," joseph's looking at your lap, hand stops scratching the spot behind his ear to gesticulate into the air. "she's, er, really nice. very kind. humor is out of this world. i really think she's the only person who can make me laugh hard other than my dad and, well, jamie."

you bite the scream that tries to escape, maybe you're even trying not to strangle him at the mention of some different girl making him laugh harder than you do. "what else?"

"she makes these, like, pastas that taste horrible but somehow i still love it because, well, she made it," he smiles, shoulder's relaxing into a slump. "we like to— she indulges in all my food tomfoolery. she listens like, like i'm the most important person in the world and...she's the only person who can truly understand me."

you wonder what his words could break if your heart's already broken down his feet. maybe its your lungs, the way the pain tightens the passage and hinders air coming through. or your stomach and the incessant pit that's forming down there. maybe your fingers as you clench them tightly to stop yourself from harming anything.

because after all this time, you thought you'd been that person he's talking about. turns out you were just delusional — your naive self grasping onto the hope that he might have felt the same, when in reality that hope's linked to a chain that leads into a void; where you wish you could fall into than fall for him endlessly despite the pain.

"that's, that's great, jo," you swallow the thorns around your throat, clearing it off. "w-what's the advice again?"

"i wanna ask her out."

"great!" you scratch your eye, joseph watching right on the corner of your vision. "um, well, obviously you have to buy her flowers. or something that she likes, like chocolate? maybe, if she wants that. then knock on her door and ask her out because asking someone over text is just really lazy."

joseph nods, taking a huge puff of breath, the slapping of his hands on his knees snapping you out of your miserable daze. "smart. great thinking. you're really smart, love."

before you say anything, he's pressing a quick, burning kiss on your temple, the aftermath of his fire still sizzling on your skin. he stands up as well, crossing over the carpeted floor in quick strides that by the time you had registered what he's done, he's already putting his coat on.

"wait, where are you going?"

"i'm gonna ask her out."

"today?" he nods. "i thought we were gonna hang out?"

"i'm sorry but i just, really need to do this," he gives you a sad smile. you stand up from the couch, joseph spraying alcohol on his hands before he twists the doorknob. "i'll see you tomorrow, though!"

the word stutters in your mouth, useless when he disappears behind your door. the loud slam is what opens the faucet, unknown to you that there's tears already dripping down your cheeks.

you drown in the sink of self-pity, bottom lip wobbling and sniffling the snot that drips down your nose as you sob, heart broken by someone who wasn't even your boyfriend.

feet dragging across the floor, they lead you to the kitchen where you take out a pint of ice cream — pistachio, the only one you have, which is very ironic. your hands reach for the wooden handle of the kitchen drawer, taking out a spoon for you to take the sorbet into the silver cutlery and eat the dejected ice cream.

but then the door knocks, and you accidentally choke on a sob as you take your ice cream with you, mind believing that it's impossible that it's him because his urgency to leave was quite obvious he was never coming back until tomorrow.

you twist the doorknob, opening it to see him with a box of chocolates tucked between his elbow, a smile so bright like he'd just won the grandest prize of them all.

"hi, will you— are you crying?" his smile falls, lips turned into an upside down crescent of worry, hands gently placing the box on the table to place them on your shoulders. "what's wrong? is that pistachio?"

you don't answer him, feeling the heavy rock around your throat come back and push your tears through again. you let yourself cry in front of him, pint tucked to your chest that the ice melts onto your shirt along with the tears that race down to your neck.

joseph comes in, closing the door behind him as he hugs you like he doesn't expect you to cry, pushing your head to his chest and it's like he wants you to hear his steady heartbeat, each thump a soft whisper asking you to calm down. he's gently shushing, hands running through your hair like he'd always do when you're sad, or when you're asleep in his arms (as a friend.)

"it's — is it because of the date?" joseph murmurs, pushing your arms away so he'd take a better look at you. he tilts his head down to see you better, eyelashes fluttering at his rapid blinks. he's unconvinced when you shake your head. "oh love—"

"did you leave anything behind?" you place the ice cream on the side, leaving the spoon stuck in the thick dessert. tugging on your cheeks to wipe your tears away, he takes your wrists to stop you, holding it down to the space between.

"is it about the date?"

his repetition makes you finally nod your head.

"aw. babe, i— i was going to ask you out."

you blink the tears away from your lashes. "what?"

"i was going to do what you said," he takes the box into his hands. "i was going to come here, with something that you liked and ask you out. it's — it's the only way that i could think of that sounded cute."

the film reel rewinds the way your heart that's left on the carpet has risen to mend itself. but instead of jumping into his arms with dire contact, you punch his shoulder, mad at him for an irrational reason of him giving you a temporary, fake heartbreak.

"you're such a jackass. a dickhead!" he laughs, in pain, rubbing the spot on his shoulder. "you made me cry and thought it was the end of the world."

"i'm sorry," his thumbs wipe the tear stains off your cheeks. "i'm sorry, darling. never again."

joseph pulls you into his chest, head deep into his tactile touch, smiling when he kisses the top of your head. "god. i was about to strangle you when you said someone else made you laugh harder than i do."

"‘m sorry," he chuckles. "now, will you eat these chocolates and go out with me?"

reblogs and feedback are appreciated <3

#joseph quinn blurb #??? #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn x y/n #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn #fluff #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction

[forthechubbies]

Mommy Virgin

Hybrid! Alpha! Baby daddy! Bunny! Jungkook X Pregnant! Human! Chubby reader (wow, what a mouth full.)

Babydaddy au, CEO au, hybrid au, sperm banks, Jungkook has a short temper because I think it’s 🥵...😳..Anyway...Enjoy.....

“Hyung!” A Lovely Afternoon turned hectic upon the arrival of another Ceo member; he ducked and dodged, swiftly weaving through the crowd at the entrance. “ Hyung! Seokjin!”

Coming up to the security gates, He swore under his breath, realizing he had left his ID at home; luckily, He had enough momentum to hop up and over the gates. “ I'm sorry!” He apologized to security while speeding by.

“Hyung!” He pushed open his hyung's doors.

Perfect, not one but two hyungs. “ We heard you causing a ruckus downstairs, Bunny Boy-,”

“I'm a dad!” He exclaimed from the top of his lungs

A cloud of confusion filled the office, followed by stunted silence.

“What!!”

What an intro, huh?

Introducing Our male lead, Jeon Jungkook, An Alpha Rabbit Hybrid. Yep, An Alpha bunny- but not just any breed of bunny; a Giant Flemish Lop; a large bunny with enough strength to tear apart most hardware materials and speed to leave a car in the dust. And being an alpha only enhances his abilities.

Unfortunately, the females of his species have a deadly immune disorder causing them to die quickly from illnesses. His species has deteriorated through the past decade.

Jeon Jungkook is a part of an endangered species.

Jungkook's solution involved donating his sperm to a sperm bank; being eighteen then, He didn't think thoroughly of the representations, and now, well over a decade. He receives his punishment...with a smile?

The two hyungs observed the brittle paper. “For-fucks-sakes, Jungkook. Why the hell is your office so disgusting?” Namjoon scoffed at the scattered blankets and empty ramenyeon bowls. “Did you spend the night in here?”

“No, that's from last week.” Jungkook shrugged off the looks of disgust with a slight head tilt.

“Ewww.” Seokjin adjusted his distance.

“I was in the middle of cleaning up.” Jungkook pointed out to Jin before turning to Namjoon. “ So I started on this pile beside the fax machine..I didn't even know I had one.”

“Despite the dust on the paper, The document was dated a month ago.” Namjoon arched his brow at the snags along the sides. For those curious kittens who want to know.

Kim Namjoon (A Doggy Hybrid)

A pure bred labrador retriever minus the human DNA- Sharp as a tack, A born-leader, as handsome as they come, and melts for belly rubs.

Kim Seokjin (A Mouse Hybrid)

He’s a dormouse to be exact and He’s…Jin Shrugs

"We have to see her.” An unfamiliar sensation fueled Jungkook's curiosity and insanity from Namjoon’s Pov

Seokjin laughed, slapping Namjoon’s shoulder. “He's crazy! He-He thinks he can just find her.” Jin 's tears rolled down his rosey cheeks.

Namjoon is often empathic; I mean, he's half-dog; being therapeutic is in his blood. “Listen, Bun; I understand this is important to you, but-” He humorlessly chuckled. “ We-We are lacking in vital documentation on who this woman is or -”

Jungkook's racing heartbeat drowns Namjoon’s panic voice of reasoning, occasionally tuning back in now and again for keywords. Shit. He’s right. Drifting off his headspace for a second, too, he retrieves his answer in the form of a person.

“Or if she's still with child-.”

“Hobi Hyung.” Jungkook interrupted.

Namjoon’s blood ran cold.

“Where?!” Jin startled himself enough to take shelter behind the couch. “I thought he was in prison?!”

“He is; Hyung, Please calm down,you will alarm our co-workers ” Namjoon claimed, opening a window. “What are you bringing up his name for?” His tail curiously curved.

“ Because I might have to get my hands dirty." He smirked, " Don't follow me, Hyung " He teased, dashing out the office door.

Surprise! This was teaser/test? This is my first time trying to hop on the Hybrid AU train so if you like it please let me know and I will happily make more! Please like it 🫶🏽

#chubby reader #jungkook x chubby reader #jungkook x reader #bts x chubby reader #bts ceo au #bts hybrid x reader #bts hybrid series #bts hybrid au #bts hybrid smut #bts smut #bunny jungkook #jungkook hybrid au #jungkook hybrid smut

[thinkofmehoney]

“The city of my heart”

Chapter 2

<- previous chapter

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Suguru Geto

Chapter summary: On the first school day for Mimiko and Nanako, Suguru's joy is clouded by his unresolved tension with Satoru. So then, after some advice from his friend Shoko, Suguru decided to confront Satoru, leading to a charged conversation about their past.

(Click for the Ao3 version!)

Warnings: none

content: Non-sorcerer AU, single dad Satoru x single dad Suguru

notes: I forgot to mention that Satoru comes from a wealthy family, but it’s kind of implied so

The first day of school of Mimiko and Nanako was finally over, the girls had fun with their new classmates and liked the way the school was so big and had beautiful green areas, they loved their new school and Suguru was more than happy about it. But he just couldn’t get what happened earlier out of his mind, his past just kept haunting him mercilessly.

The girls sat down on the couch and he covered them with a blanket, they wanted to watch a new movie with their dad and eat popcorn, they loved having movie nights in family. But Geto needed to make a phone call before he could sit still for an hour to watch a movie.

"Okay girls," He handed over the bowl of freshly made pop corn to Nanako "While you watch the movie I have to make a quick phone call and then I'll join you." The twins immediately protested.

"But you will miss the beginning! That's the important part! or you won’t understand the movie!" Nanako fussed.

"Then we can put it again later or you can tell me what happened." He smiled and headed to the kitchen "I'll be right back, tell me if you need anything!"

The kitchen was far enough from the living room for his conversation to not be heard. He sat on the window frame with a cigarette between his lips, trembling breath sucking in the smoke while he searched for the contact on his phone.

"I guess I was expecting for this call-" The voice said on the other line with a playful tone.

"Shoko why the fuck didn't you tell me that Satoru was going to be at my daughters' school? Or why didn't you tell me that he also has a daughter!" He yelled quietly, trying to not raise his voice but he felt so frustrated he just wanted to scream from the top of his lungs.

"Well he has two kids actually, the other one is a boy." The girl paused for a second, she was smoking too, Suguru was simply speechless. "I was just doing what you asked me to, every time I tried to tell you something about Gojo you always told me you didn't want to know." He couldn't blame her really, because it was true, he didn't want to know about what was going on in Satoru's life, it would have make it harder for him to forget about Satoru and move on.

Well, it didn't really mattered anymore, he couldn't escape him.

"I don't know what to do, I guess sooner or later we'll have to interact." His voice sounded too worried, but Shoko didn’t thought it would be something that complicated really. He took his cigarette out of his mouth, then two fingers pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Okay but, would it be the end of the world if you two just talk?"

"Yes." He said dryly and Shoko rolled her eyes.

"It would be the end of the world for your ego." She exhaled the smoke. "And your pride."

"It's not ego! It's just-" A frustrated sigh came out of his lips. "You know it's difficult Shoko... we had a fight and it's been like that ever since. I bet he doesn’t even want to see me anyway." Shoko was the one that sighed now.

"Suguru, listen, you can't just let your past dictate your life! You still care about Gojo and I think this is the perfect chance to regain the friendship you two had." He hates to admit it, but Shoko was right. "So maybe, the next time you see him you should reach out and apologize-"

"Huh? He should be the one apologizing to me." She rolled her eyes, her friend still behaved like a teenager.

"Well, I think you both should apologize to each other, don't pretend you’re a saint." Shoko held the phone between her face and her shoulder, opening the car door to go back home from the hospital. "You can't control his actions, but you can take responsibility for yours, and if you ask me, you said pretty hurtful things to him too, so you can start there." A silence followed by a resigned snort was all the answer she needed to hear.

"I guess I'll think about it." She smiled victoriously.

"Good, now if you excuse me, my shift is over and I have to get home to my beautiful girlfriend." He laughed endearingly, at least she could keep her high school sweetheart.

"Alright, thank you Shoko, tell Utahime I said hi."

𓈒 ݁ ₊

It's been days since Satoru saw him and, weirdly enough, they haven't crossed paths when dropping their kids at school yet, which had Satoru at the edge of the seat, because the possibility of running into him was really high, it could happen any time and to be honest, he wouldn't know how to react.

Satoru got out of his car and walked to the school entrance, Tsumiki told him that she needed help to bring some cardboard crafts to the car. The bell would rang soon so the kids were gathering their stuff and would come outside at any minute, any second... why was it taking so long-

"Yo, Satoru."

That voice... How long has he waited to hear that voice again? It sounded so familiar, so soft, like if he had never stopped hearing it.

The kids didn't arrive in time to save him. Satoru felt the cold sweat in the back of his neck, that voice had such an impact on him, and it wasn't for less, it was his voice. Still breathless, he turned around to face him, the ghost of his past that still haunted him after so many years, was right behind him.

"Suguru... hi." Indeed, Satoru looked like he just saw a ghost.

The words hung in the air, heavy with a sense of unresolved tension. Satoru hesitated, his mind racing with the memories of their past argument and the hurtful words they exchanged.

Suguru doubted his decision for a moment, maybe this was too impulsive, but it was too late to take a step back now. They were silent, Suguru just looked around trying to think what to do next, thankfully Satoru was too shocked now to feel nervous.

"Book day is coming, did you know?" Suguru is thanking his daughters on his mind, since all they talked about was the preparations for Book day at school.

Satoru came out of his trance, well... kinda, the shock was too much that he just went numb, he could hold the conversation now, but when he gets home he's planning to stare at the ceiling for a long time while thinking about this.

"Yeah, my daughter is pretty excited about it." Oh? his daughter was also obsessed with book day... Suguru didn’t expect to get sentimental about it.

"Oh, really?" A subtle but nostalgic smile decorated his lips, "That's really sweet, do you have her costume yet?"

Slowly, Satoru was feeling at ease. This was Suguru after all, his best friend who he could talk to about anything, this small talk felt just natural, "She won't be on the play, she's making the decorations and scenography, but my son will be that blueish smiling cat, what about you?"

"Same thing, one will be on the play and the other will be the narrator. I'll go buy her costume next Tuesday near here."

A silence fell on them, and they just stood there, looking at the school front doors waiting for the kids to come out, it was the calm before the storm.

Suguru continued to talk, hands in his pocked followed by a sigh "We need to talk, don't you think?"

Satoru tensed at his words, a mix of surprise and uncertainty on his face "Talk? About what?"

Their eyes found each other, filled with longing, yearning, and even remorse dyed with stubbornness, "About everything, about us."

Satoru's gaze slipped away from him, they were so close and yet so far, "Now?"

"Well, we can't keep running from this... it's been too long already." A whole decade, it's been a whole decade and Satoru dares to ask him if they needed to talk right now.

Satoru crossed his arms and looked down, trying to hide how hurt he still was. This topic still felt like a fresh wound for both of them. Suguru was the first to talk.

"I don't think we should let this tension exist between us Satoru, because it's a fact that we will see each other almost everyday here, and-" Suguru felt a knot tightening his throat, it was difficult talking about them, and even more if he was talking directly to him. "and also because we used to be so close until-"

"Until we weren't," Satoru finished, bitterness creeping into his voice. "You left, Suguru. You simply ran away from everything, from me..."

His words felt like daggers... It wasn't like that...

His heart ached, it's been aching for a while, "I'm sorry for that, okay? But you have to understand that it wasn't about you, I needed to do it for me, for my own struggles..."

Satoru's eyes narrowed slightly, "Your struggles? What struggles, Suguru? You could just figure out your things without leaving, it wasn't that much of a deal." He spitted, and Suguru felt like he was downplaying his pain.

Suguru hesitated, his words sting like blood and lemon, but his voice remained calmed nonetheless "Life hasn't been easy for me, Satoru. I had to figure things out on my own. I didn't have the privileges you did."

Satoru's anger flared. "Privileges? Yes, I may had privileges like money and shit, but you think I had it easy? On top of that you left me alone, you abandoned our friendship, you didn't want to share your struggles with me."

Suguru's jaw tightened. "It's not that simple, Satoru. I needed space, I needed to get out of that damn city."

Satoru scoffed "That's what you always do, huh? Running away from your problems instead of facing them?"

The tension escalated, each word cutting deeper. Suguru's resolve wavered, and he took a step back, Satoru's eyes softened at this, guilt starting to overflow his irises and features.

"Listen Satoru, I didn't come here to fight with you. I did run, yes, but I'm here now, and i'm trying to make things right this time." His voice was now gentle, sincere and harmless. And Satoru feels like a complete asshole.

Satoru sighed, his fingers pressing the bridge of his nose "This is just... too much for me right now, I... I need to think about this."

Suguru saw his two girls walking through the hallway, getting closer to the front doors of the school. Breathing in and out, he was ready to finish their conversation for today, he didn't want his daughters to see him so distressed.

Once again, their eyes found each other, something so new but so familiar they could draw the patterns of their irises from memory, "When you feel ready to talk about this... Reach out to me, let's not waste this second chance we have."

As soon as he finished his sentence, Suguru looked to the hallway with the sweetest smile, a distinct contrast from just instants ago. He greeted his daughters with a tight hug and Satoru's heart melted, who would've thought he could get to see this in his lifetime?

It tasted bittersweet to Satoru, he lost so many years, so many important things on Suguru's life, but at least he was lucky enough to see with his own eyes how his life changed for the better in the end, he was certainly happier than the last time he saw him, and with two beautiful girls that resembled him so much…

𓈒 ݁ ₊

Satoru and his kids were already back home. Their house was peacefully quiet, Tsumiki was watching a movie in the living room while Megumi was doing god knows what in his room. It was moments like this where he could somewhat relax and find the peace he didn't have during the day. So he grabbed some ice cream from the freezer and laid down on the woven sofa outside the big window where you could see the garden, he needed some peace to find clarity about the situation.

Satoru often thought on how meeting Suguru during high school marked a significant turning point in his life.

Before Suguru came into the picture, Satoru was, by his own admission, a bit of a brat. The privileges that came with being part of the affluent Gojo family had perhaps made him a bit entitled. It wasn't until Suguru entered his life that Satoru began to experience a shift in perspective.

Suguru had a unique way of humbling Satoru, and it wasn't always through words. The first punch he received after being repeatedly disrespectful towards their teachers was a wake-up call. It was a physical reminder that not everyone would tolerate his prepotence. That punch grounded him, making him realize that he wasn't just Satoru Gojo from the prestigious Gojo family; he was simply Satoru, a spirited kid with white hair, a sweet tooth, and a newfound appreciation for humility. Suguru, in his own way, became the catalyst for Satoru's journey towards self-discovery and personal growth.

Suguru was such a significant person in his life, and he missed him so, so much.

He missed when Suguru rode his bike and he sat behind because he didn't know how to do it, or when they stayed up all night playing video games and talking about their lives or gossiping, he even misses when Suguru scolded him for being arrogant.

It was so clear to him, he wanted Suguru back, he wants to reclaim their friendship and get to know the man he has become over the years. But there was one thing stopping him, and it was the fears that flooded his mind.

What if he leaves again?

He was lucky to have his kids, they made him stronger by having someone who depended on him, because if he was on his own, he wouldn't know what to do if he's left alone again after letting Suguru back into his life.

Suguru leaving him again sounded awful, but then he thought: Suguru was already out of his life for the past decade, if they started talking again and then he left, he just would be where he is right now. Yes, it would leave him feeling like shit, but he was stronger than he was twelve years ago, he could get through it.

From this perspective, he had nothing to lose, he missed his one and only best friend and they deserved another chance. If he leaves him, too bad, he would have to just grow a pair and get over it. But if he stayed, then he wanted to see where it would take them.

𓈒 ݁ ₊

"Tsumiki, do you have dad's credit card information?" Megumi asked Tsumiki with his phone on his hands, ready to put Satoru's card numbers on some app.

His older sister answered him while she watched Twilight on the living room TV, "No, I forgot to take a picture, but why don't you ask him for his wallet?" Still looking at the TV, she pointed to the big sliding glass door, on the other side Satoru was sitting on their woven chairs.

Megumi squinted his eyes, "Is he reading?" Tsumiki now turned to look at him now that the movie just ended.

She shook her head, denying, "He's been staring at the wall since the movie started." Her brother looked surprised.

"What? What if he died or something? Maybe he had a heart attack from all the sugar..."

They both looked at each other worried, immediately walking towards him and making him jump when the sliding door hit its ending. Both of the kids sighed in relief.

"You guys scared me! I almost had a heart attack!" They tensed up at the joke, and Satoru was still worried, "What happened Tsumi? Why did you slide the door open like that?"

"We thought you were dead!" She answered just as panicked as her dad.

"What?!"

Megumi added "Yeah we thought you had a heart attack because of all the sugar you eat."

"Oh, no no!" Satoru opened his arms, and his babies got closer to receive his hug. "I don't have health issues, kids. Nothing's gonna happen to me." He chuckled at the end of the sentence now that he calmed down, "I was just thinking about something, that's why I didn't move I guess."

Now that they knew that Satoru was alive, they could relax. Their dad smiled at them and asked "Are you guys hungry? because I am." Megumi nodded.

"About that... Can I borrow your wallet? I wanted to order carbonara for dinner." Satoru's eyes widened.

"Carbonara? Wow I raised some bougie kids, huh? When I was your age I would just order a KFC bucket or a burger." Satoru's stomach growled, now that Megumi mentioned carbonara, it didn't sound bad at all. He grabbed his wallet and gave it to him. "Well, if you insist."

The boy grabbed it and started typing the info, and ended up ordering ¥9400 worth of food and drinks. Satoru choked when he heard the amount. "You kids will end up spending my family's generational wealth if I keep giving you my card, you are lucky I don't like them that much."

thank you for reading!! feedback is greatly appreciated<3

And if you want to support me, you can buy me a coffee!

#fanfic #the city of my heart #jujutsu kaisen #satosugu #gojo satoru x geto suguru #satoru x suguru #satosugu fic #satosugu fanfic #geto suguru #suguru geto #gego #mimiko and nanako #mimiko hasaba #nanako hasaba

[artracoon]

PJO SERIES HOT TAKES/UNPOPULAR

OPINIONS. Sorry if I offend anyone, it's just an opinion. NO HATE I LOVE RICK AND THE ACTORS 💙(I just don't like Disney directing tbh)

The Athena kid in me is screaming at the top of their lungs because they think they could make a better script than Disney. BRO FINISH 2

Chapters in like 5 minutes- AND THE FIGHT SCENE BETWEEN MS DODDS AND PERCY

WAS RUUUUSHED Slow down Disney that was a good bit. They also made it happen outside instead of having her lead him inside. How hard did the mist have to work with all those people there???

Is it just me or is Sally kinda mean, where's our mom figure? Im crying over Luke's acting it was so good but also why are you dropping bombshells on us the second episode??

No offense to the actors but some of the lines felt like they were from Disney channel in the 2000s. It feels almost like a completely different story I understand why but I thought it was going to be more accurate

Love Annabeth’s "you drool when you sleep" but why was the scene setting so weird??

1 I drastically miss the Hellhound scene. It was one of my favorite scenes. They should have made the first two episodes *| accidentally vaporized my math teacher" and "My mom teaches me bullfighting" then they wouldn't have had to rush it so much. So much information was thrown at us in the first episode I couldn't process it. Also the convo between Percy and Sally in the Cabin was really unrealistic... Why did she have to drop that on Percy so fast I thought Mr. D and Chiron were supposed to have that conversation with Percy.

The bathroom scene was fine but I really wish Annabeth could have been there, instead of making her look like a huge stalker. We could have had her show him around camp like I get we want to build that relationship with Luke so it hits harder but Idk I personally wouldn't want her on my team if all she did was go "Im stalking you to see if your worthy" ditch me and watch me fight 3 v1 and then push me in the ocean. The Ares kids bashing... but Clarisse's acting was great. That scream of anger was amazing.

I feel like they took the first book and went

"eh don't need this, or this hmmm nah that doesn't seem important" and then shook it all about. They changed so much to save time but they didn't even make it a movie so there wasn't much point??

The intro was fine. I didn't really like the dialogue between Percy and Sally at the beginning. The museum was okay but we didn't get a lesson about Kronos so no foreshadowing for that at all. No one really seems to remember this but Percy didn't keep the pen and it doesn't make sense for him to as-well with getting kicked out of school. In the Book Percy was given the pen while fighting Miss Dodds. Afterwards he was still unknowingly clutching the pen when he went to talk to Mr.Brunner who took his pen back saying he should bring his own pen next time, making Percy more confused because Mr.Brunner had given him the pen.

Later when he's leaving for the quest Chiron gives him the pen saying it was from his dad. That means Percy wouldn't have had the pen during his time at camp and his fight with the minotaur. So it wouldn't make sense for him to defeat the minotaur with its horn rather than his pen if he had the pen. In the book he HAD to defeat the minotaur with his own horn because he had no other weapon.

He had a hard time on the beach and during sword training because no other sword felt right. I could rant forever on everything they overlooked.

Sorry no one asked for this rant i'm just so upset because Rick said it was going to be accurate and he chose these Actors because they would be able to play the parts more accurately but the script doesn't work so I there's no point in having actors who would do a good job if the script doesn't do a good job

#pjo series #pjo tv show #destructive criticism #sorry for the rant #I love the actors so much #but the plot feels way different? #no offense #im just obsessed with Percy Jackson #hot take #unpopular opinion #its a fine adaptation but I wouldnt really watch it if I didnt read the books first. #it could feel less wattpad #the acting didnt seem right but it had its moments #it wasn’t bad just not amazing #the visual were great but a little goofy sometimes

[rubydubydoo122]

In every universe Jason Peter Todd dies young. It’s a fate sealed across the multiverse. Maybe he could hope that there’s one universe where he doesn’t. aka, Jason, Dick, and Bruce go multiverse hopping, and are not having a fun time. (Ps, when I started writing this fic I hced Jason as Latino, but I don't really believe in that hc anymore, so just a heads up if you don't like that hc)

TRIGGER WARNING -> Hey... I don't think there are any this chapter!

It felt like ice was settling in Jason’s chest. He wasn’t Robin. He was no longer a street kid. He wasn’t Robin. He was no longer a street kid. He wasn’t Robin, he was no longer a street kid, he was safe.

He was supposed to be safe.

Why was he dead?

He was supposed to live. He had a life outside of living to the next day or saving Gotham. 

Why did he die?

Why does he keep dying?

He looked to Bruce, whose eyes were rimmed red from the crying he was doing earlier. Then to Dick, who was standing unnaturally still. 

“ What did I do?” he wasn’t sure if he shouted it at the top of his lungs or barely even whispered it. “What did I do wrong?”

Dick snapped himself out of his transe, “Jason you didn’t do anything–”

“I had to have done something. I had to have done something so fucked on a cosmic scale.” He pulled at his hair, hard, to stop his eyes from burning, “I keep dying. I keep dying. That Jason had a good life. He was finally safe. He had no reason to die. He had a good life. He was happy. He was beyond loved.” His breath hitched and he knew he couldn’t stop the dam of emotions that were flooding over. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand. Why do I have to die? Why don’t I get a happy ending? Why don’t I deserve one?”

Before he could tell what was going on he was back in his Dad’s arms. One hand at the base of his head and the other rubbing circles into his shoulder. In the way he used. Just like he used to.

“Jay, lad, you listen to me, and you listen to me closely. You haven’t done anything to deserve the fates that have been handed to you. You were a child. One who was forced to grow up too fast, when all you should’ve been allowed to do was live. You deserve to live. And you are living right now.”

He felt Dick cling onto the both of them, “Maybe the universe is cruel. Maybe you had a shitty ending, but it was a shitty ending to your prologue. You got a second chance, and Bruce and I will do everything to make sure you get a happy ending. Because that’s what you deserve.”

And that’s why he let them in, all those years ago. Because they cared . They both really cared. About Jason.

Bruce moved one of his arms so he was also holding Dick, “You’re my boys. My boys. And I’ll always get you two back.”

Jason buried his face into Bruce’s shoulder. He remembers there used to be a time where he’d hug Bruce and barely make it past his ribs. He used to only be able to rest his chin on Bruce’s shoulder if Bruce was kneeling. 

Despite how much Jason has grown, he still feels so small. And he’ll let himself feel that way. Because he’s not alone anymore. He has his dad and brother to protect him.

They realized it was mid February of 2017. Meaning this universe’s Jason was 16. So it was most likely another Zombie Jason. So they made the decision to sit the universe out. Except, after a day they were still there. Then two, then they started to get restless. So Dick and Jason went out for a little food run, and they came back with three sacks of oranges and a Dick had gotten a bag of edibles.

They came back to the motel to the sound of the news. And a Dick who was high as balls

Dick ripped open the bag or oranges and squinted at the screen, “Huh, didn’t realize Tim wore yellow pants.” 

Jason also looked at the screen. The Robin who was currently on screen, leaped over a sentient vine, wearing Jason’s yellow snow pants, and green combat boots. “That’s not Tim, that’s me.”

“Oh yeah…Tim has his…staff.” Dick took out a bunch of oranges and started juggling them.

Bruce sighed from where he was making adjustments to the beacon design. Though, Jason doesn’t understand why he keeps adjusting it. It’s useless if it’s on paper. “Are you two high right now?”

Dick raised an eyebrow at Bruce, “Come on, Bruce. I’m an adult capable of making my own responsible decisions.” 

Jason rolled his eyes, “Come on Bruce, you know I rarely accept pain killers. And this is a Gotham pre- me cleaning up the whole drug trade.”

Bruce looked to Dick, “Edibles?” he nodded, “Give.” Dick dug the bag of gummies from his pocket and handed it to Bruce. He looked from Jason, to Dick, then back to Jason, “I trust you checked if it was clean.”

“It’s literally my job. Been doing it since I was 18.”

Bruce had that face like he wanted to say something, but shrugged and popped a gummy in his mouth.

Batman doing edibles. Now there’s a sight.  

They focused back on the screen where Batman and Robin were closing in on Poison Ivy, Robin ran towards Batman, where they locked hands as Robin leaped, and threw a kick to Ivy’s head, knocking her out cold. Jason frowned, “That was like… a six.” Robin looked quite winded by that, which was weird because he knew he should have more energy like that.

The camera panned to Vicky Vale on the screen, “That was the fifth rogue of the month. And it’s not even Valentines. They’re really putting Batman and Robin through the ringer.”

“Oh my god, Bruce,” Dick suddenly stopped juggling the oranges they had bought. “It's the winter of hell.”

“What’s the winter of– oh wait, isn’t it when Bane snaps Bruce’s back like a toothpick?”

“Yes, though, that was because, I’ll admit, I was burnt out by the mass Arkham Asylum breakout, and I refused to ask for help.”

“Don’t worry, Old Man. It was part of your character development.” 

The screen panned from Ivy in handcuffs, and Batman talking to Commissioner Gordon, to Robin, pulling his cape over his shoulders and walking over to the Batmobile. His breaths were coming out unnaturally even, meaning he was trying to control how tired he looked. Still he flashed a smile at the camera and sat in the passenger seat.

Bruce set down his pencil, “Robin probably has a test this week.” He must’ve seen Jason’s confused expression, “You used to keep your notes in the Batmobile the week leading up to a test. You would stay in the Batmobile and study while I talked to Commissioner Gordon.”

Dick tossed Jason a peeled orange, “Nerd.”

“Yet, I can still lift more than you, bro.” Jason pulled apart a piece and tossed it in his mouth.

Bruce held out his hand for an orange. Dick grabbed one out of the bag for him, and Bruce started peeling it.  “The next attack is in two days, and it’s–”

“Oh! Let me guess. My man, Eddie Nygma. Aka, the Riddler.”

“No, it’s the Joker and the Scarecrow.”

“Huh. I hate both of them. When do they make an appearance?”

“In… two days.”

Dick started munching on his orange, “Damn, we got sent back early.”

Bruce tossed Jason half of the orange he just peeled, “Maybe the force that is pinballing us across the multiverse knows our thoughts and feelings.” He said it in a way that indicated he was joking.

Jason blinked, “Hold up. Bruce, you might be onto something. What were you guys thinking of right before we all got hit with the beam? And be so honest with me right now.”

Dick frowned, “I don’t really remember, just that I had to make sure you were safe.”

“I was thinking about how the machine Black Mask had used was a prototype and had never been used before. I…I thought I was going to lose you again.”

Ok, that’s what Jason had thought, “And how about after the first Jay who died?”

“I was thinking about how small you were. And how you were too young to die.”

Dick nodded, “I was thinking the same thing, but then I think I had a line of thought like ‘if we’d found Jason earlier on the streets, he wouldn’t’ve been that small.’”

Jason grinned, “Ok, so I’m pretty sure us being pinballed around the multiverse has something to do with the Law of Attraction.”

Bruce grunted, “That’s just a placebo–”

Dick hushed him, “Do you have magical swords, Bruce? No. Let our supernatural expert speak.”

“As you know, the Law of Attraction states that thoughts and energy have the power to shape a reality. When we first got hit, Bruce was thinkin’ of me dyin’, so we got thrown into a reality where I died. Then the second reality was a merging of you thinkin’ I was too young to die, and you thinking of findin’ a little Jason on the streets. And at that point, Bruce was trying to figure out a pattern and the only thing his brain could latch onto was–”

“You being dead.”

“Yes! Yes exactly. And we’ve just been spiraling and spiraling and spiraling. And, hm, maybe the reason why this Jason is our first one older than 15 is because in the last one, we thought he would live longer. Ya know?”

Dick hummed, “So you’re saying if we think happy thoughts, this Jason will live?”

“Well, not happy , per say, just not overly pessimistic. Like ‘ Jason will live’ is a great line for manifestations. Obviously, the Law of Attraction isn’t the law of the land, there are certain events that are written in the–” Jason snorted as he suddenly remembered something, “Canon Events. There are Canon Events, but like other details are always changing. That’s why I hate looking into the future. Drives me nuts, bolts and bananas. I bet my canon event is stealing Bruce’s tires.”

“You literally said you were Uncle Ben–”

“Upapapapa,” Jason wagged his finger at Dick, “That sounds like some negative affirmations. Gimme another orange. Doc told me I’ll get scurvy.” 

Dick burst out into laughter while Bruce whipped his head to Jason so fast, he was afraid he’d get whiplash,  “Jason! You’re not allowed to have citrus!”

“Yes I am.”

“Oh. Ok.” Bruce immediately relaxed, “I could’ve sworn you weren’t though. Something about the Ascorbic acid reducing melanin production.”

“Only if it’s too much. Tis a delicate balance.”

Dick handed Jason another peeled orange, “Don’t get scurvy, bro.”

“Thanks. I can feel it fading as we speak.” Jason chewed on a piece, “Anywho, positive vibes, or else I’ll be dismal.”

“But being dismal isn’t good for good vibes.”

“Exactly.”

That being said, it was hard not to think of everything that could go wrong. Especially knowing that Batman and Robin would be facing the Joker. Especially knowing that in a decent amount of universes they had been to, Jason had been killed by the Joker. Still, they tried. Bruce wrote out affirmations on the little notepad in the motel room, Dick said them outloud, and Jason meditated.

Still, two days later, when they saw Batman and Robin facing the Joker and Scarecrow, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. 

The Joker immediately looked at Robin, but Jason could see the moment the Joker realized something more . He looked Robin up and down, gaze lingering a bit lower, before making eye contact, and bursting into a fit of giggles, “My, my, Boy Blunder you sure are growing at an alarming rate.”

“Yeah, I’ve been eating my vegetables. I heard carrots help give your skin a natural glow. Did’ja not eat enough ‘a those growing up? You’re looking a bit pasty.” For all his talk, Robin pulled his cape around him.

Batman stepped in between the two of them. “Robin, do you have your gasmask on you?”  

Robin responded by grabbing it out of his utility belt, “I’ll get Crane.” He pulled out his grapple, and he swung away.

“Now, Batsy, I didn’t mean it that way–” Batman started pummeling the Joker with his fists.

…That doesn’t make sense. The Joker is a lot of horrible vile things, but a pedophile isn’t one of them. Otherwise Jason would’ve killed him point blank years ago. 

Then the screen split in half to show Robin running and leaping to grab the bottom rung of a fire escape and kicking Crane into a pile of trash. Crane started to sit up, but Robin took a glass bottle, flipped it in his hands once, and smashed it into Crane’s noggin.

Really, Crane is easy to defeat if you don’t breathe in his fear toxins. That’s why he loves his helmet. Built in filters. One punch, and Crane is down for the count.

While Batman continued to punch the living daylights out of the Joker, Robin made quick work of cuffing Crane. Then he leaned against the bricks panting. 

The earlier gas mask models were hard to breathe in. Adding the cold low pressure winter air made it nearly impossible to breathe while fighting.

Batman seemed to be done pounding the Joker’s head in. Mainly because Commissioner Gordon had come by, thrown a kick at the piece of garbage, and started cuffing the man

Robin rolled his shoulders and shook out his leg before picking up Crane from where he was laying, and dragging him out of the Alley. Eventually, Batman came, lifted Crane into a fireman’s carry and nodded at Robin.

To anyone else, the nod would’ve seemed cold and dismissive, but Jason knew that specific nod meant you can relax now.

Robin ripped off his gas mask, and grappled away.

Jason grabbed a pair of gloves, his jacket, and the red beanie they’d got,  “I’m going to my gargoyle.”

Jason knew he would arrive at the gargoyle after Robin, but what he didn’t expect was to catch Robin sound asleep in the corner of the roof. He wasn’t even sitting under Garry, just in the corner with his cape pulled around him. 

Seemed more like a Tim thing to pass out on a roof, but Jason was also a pretty light sleeper… but Robin should’ve heard him coming up the fire escape. Jason made sure to be a bit louder on his way up.

Was he–

No, he couldn’t be. Bruce built the winter suit with warmers built in so he wouldn’t freeze. And he could see Robin’s breaths puff up in the cold air. He was probably just really tired. 

Really tired. 

Jason moved to sit next to Gary, but made sure he could still keep an eye on their surroundings. Though, if he hadn’t been paying attention, and if he didn’t see it coming a mile away, he wouldn’t’ve spotten Batman.

He sent a little wave towards the shadow, and signed out “ One Bad Night A-R-T. Are you gonna make me sing the song?”

Batman came out of the shadows, “Jason?”

That caused Robin to pick out his head in a panic, but then he saw Batman, blinked blearily, and then rested his head back on his knees, falling back asleep.

 Jason made a concerned face towards Robin as Batman moved to sit next to Jason.

“He was up last night studying for an APUSH test. I told him to take a break tonight, but–-” Batman shrugged, “You know you.” He looked to Robin with a look that was a mix between fond and concerned, before looking back to Jason, “Report.”

Jason rolled his eyes. Some things about Bruce never changed across realities, “Black Mask hit us with a teleportation prototype which caused us to be pinballed around the multiverse.” He said in a low voice, so he wouldn’t wake up Robin, “We’ve been to…close to thirty universes, the longest we’ve been in one singular reality was around three days, the shortest was close to 10 minutes, I think. Our Bruce can tell you the exact stuff. We’re certain that our allies are working on bringing us home, but because we keep moving around…”

“You think they can’t pinpoint your location.” 

Jason nodded.

“Is it just you and your Bruce?”

“Dick too.”

Batman nodded, “We can all head to the cave right now, if you would like?”

Jason glanced at Robin, and how the only reason he was asleep right now was pure exhaustion and the feeling of safety. Especially after the Joker’s sexual harassment, it was surprising that Robin even fell asleep. strangers coming to his home, he definitely wouldn’t be able to properly rest, even though he clearly needed it.

“We’ll swing by… tomorrow evening? That way you can warn Alfred. If we don’t show, chances are we got thrown into a different reality.”

Batman gave him a barely there smile, “I’ll try not to take it too personally.”

So there they were, standing in front of the manor gates, fighting over who would ring the doorbell. 

Dick pushed Jason forwards, “Jason, you’re the one who was invited, you ring it.”

Jason stepped behind Bruce, “You’re the one who’s better with people.”

“You literally talked to this Bruce yesterday.”

“You’ve literally talked to any other version of Bruce. Just ring the buzzer.”

“You do it!”

Bruce rolled his eyes, and hit the buzzer, “I’m sure you’ve been watching them bicker.”  

The gates opened, as the automated voice of Alfred patched through, “Yes, it is quite amusing to see they never truly grow out of it.”  

Dick scoffed, “Once an annoying younger brother, always an annoying younger brother.”

Just for that, Jason flicked Dick’s cheek, with a satisfying pip sound. Dick looked like he was about to smack Jason in retaliation, but Alfred was standing at the front door with a very stern look on his face. 

Alfred led them into the study room where a younger Bruce and Jay were both waiting for them. 

Hm, this was weird. He never saw Bruce at this point in time. Though, this Bruce didn’t look much different from the other Bruces they’ve been seeing across realities. Jay on the other hand… he looked different. 

He was taller than most of the Jasons they had met. Probably around 5’5”. And his features were more mature. It was losing the roundness he’d gained during his years living in the manor. The spots of vitiligo across his face stood out in the way they usually did during the summer, meaning his completion was probably deeper. And his eyes– he didn’t have central heterochromia like Sheila. They were warm and brown. Just like Mami’s.

Alternate reality Bruce stood up and shook Bruce and Dick’s hands, oddly, this was the most formal meeting with their alternate reality selves. “Hello, welcome to our reality. What’s the ‘low down ’?”

Jay turned to Jason, Dick and made a ‘ this man is so embarrassing’ face. Dick held back a laugh as alternate reality Bruce opened the entrance to the Cave, and regular Bruce started filling him in. Basically the stuff Jason told him last night, only in more detail. Like down to the minute they were in each reality, and… well, he didn’t tell him about the multiple Jason’s dying part, but that was probably because Bruce was trying hard with the positive affirmations. 

Then he brought out the blueprints for the beacon, and Jay took one look at it and smacked his head, and rushed towards the stairs, “I have a physics project. I swear, if one more maniac shows up this week, I’m gonna lose it.”

Younger Bruce looked at Jay with a smirk, “Then I suppose it’s a good thing it’s Saturday, huh?”

Jay fixed him with a deadpan stare, “Your Dad-jokes aren’t nearly as funny as you think they are.”

Bruce didn’t seem hurt by the comment, but it did seem to soften him, with a face that looked more… vulnerable, “If you need to take a break–”

“No. I’m good. We catch Two-Face and then I’m stayin’ in bed the entirety of break.”

Bruce sucked a breath through his teeth, playfully, “If those are your plans, I guess I’ll have to cancel those college tours. Are you planning on bedrotting through rehearsal too?”

“You know what I meant.”  Then Jay continued up the stairs while singing ‘Those magic changes’ from Grease.

Jason grinned, “I actually love this reality. It’s the best one we’ve been to, by far .”

Younger Bruce gave him an amused look, “I’m glad you like it. May I ask why all the other realities were not so great?”

“Hmm… No. We’re trying to keep a positive mindset here, and thinking about all the other realities would… make us pretty despondent.” 

Younger Bruce blinked towards Older Bruce, who grunted, “They need time to process what we have seen in other realities. We will tell you, eventually.”

“Hrg.” He could see the push and pull between Batman’s skepticism and Bruce’s willingness to help people behind his eyes, “What can you tell me?”

“I faced a similar situation where there was a mass Arkham breakout, though it was all orchestrated by Eduardo Dorrance, otherwise known as Bane. He is aware of our identities and after we put Two-Face back in Arkham, he breaks into the manor to catch us off guard.”

And just like that, younger Bruce was in Batman mode and finding all the information he could on Bane.

“Bruce, Bane’s whole thing was breaking you down emotionally and mentally, so he could break you physically.” Dick placed a hand on his shoulder, “Yes, you do need to capture Two-Face, but you also need to take a break, otherwise he will break you.”

Bruce continued to search through the Batcomputer, “How can you say that when he knows who I am? Just by knowing, that puts all of us at risk. What if he targets the Dick and the Titans, or Jason’s school? I need to be prepared–”

“You can prepare yourself with as much information as you can, but without proper rest, you can never truly be prepared.”

Both Dick and Jason turned to look at Old Man Bruce, cus, yeah Bruce was wise when he decided to actually communicate, but that edged on the hypocritical side.

Old Man Bruce didn’t pay attention to them gawking, “I could also give you all the information I know about Bane, but only if you rest. It would take less time that way.”

Younger Bruce stopped typing, “...Fine. But it’s only because I know Alfred is going to be done with dinner soon and I don’t want to keep him waiting.” 

“No patrolling tonight. Two-Face doesn’t show up for another two days. You are taking the weekend off. No Batman or Batman adjacent work.”

“Are… are you benching me right now?”

Older Bruce gave him the look ™ meaning he wasn’t going to be accepting any nonsense from younger Bruce. Honestly, it was kinda weird. Most of the other Bruces, Bruce had spoken to in a strictly professional manner. He never… Daded them.

Ok, it was really weird.

Younger Bruce seemed to realize it was a losing battle, and turned off the Batcomputer, “Ok then, though I expect all the information you know about Bane to be on there by Monday.”

So now that they had the whole positive/negative affirmations thing going, they had a realization. They were probably being tethered to each reality by the Jason of said universe. So as long as this Jason stayed alive, they would stay in this universe. 

And so far this Jason was doing a better job than Jason had, so… 

The kid was 16 and had a fully functioning brain. He was doing things he loved like school and the musical. He was living, and making Robin work. Jason was happy for him. He was happy for Bruce who was gushing about how well Jay did during the fall play, and some of the volunteer work he was doing on top of that and–

This could’ve been his life.

So the first chance he got, he ran to hide. Technically, it wasn’t hiding, because the library was the first place anyone would think to look for him, but it got him alone. It gave him space to breathe. 

And maybe he was a masochist for reading ‘The Time Machine’ by H.G Wells, but you can’t be in a family of vigilantes without being the slightest bit masochistic.

He was about halfway through when Jay snuck in with a binder and pencil in his hands and sat on the floor next to the couch Jason was on, so he was blocked from view of the Library door. 

Not five minutes later Dick walked in, eyes searching around the room, “Have you seen Jason?”

Now, Jason wasn’t an idiot, and he knew that Jay was probably hiding because he also needed a breather. “What, tryna replace me?”

“What? No. I just–”

“That was cruel of me to say.” He knew the words would hurt Dick, and adding venom to them would just be salt on a scab that had been picked at, “He’s probably doing homework or something.”

Dick frowned, like he was debating which conversation to continue, and then he sighed, “That’s what he was doing when I last checked, but now I can’t find him.”

“Then he’s probably with Alfred. There’s really only three places in the manor he’d be.” He did also have a real hiding spot, but Jay seemed like he needed to do work, and that hiding spot was small and dark, and only for when he felt like everything was too big and too much.

“I already checked.”

Jason squared Dick with a look, “Then maybe, you’re being too hover-y and he wants some space.”

Dick cringed at himself, “You’re probably right.” Then he started walking closer to the couch.

“What are you doing?”

“Hanging out with you?” he went to sit on the couch, but Jason swatted him with the book.

“No. you’re not. Go away. Find ways to entertain yourself.” 

“What if we dye your white streak red?”

Jason groaned, “Go away, Richard . I’ve spent the last week with you and Bruce. Give me some me time.”

“No.” Dick definitely meant that sarcastically, because he stood up to leave, but then he paused at the door, “You know you’ll always be my little brother, right? Nothing changes that. Not death, or moral differences– nothing.”

“I can’t be your little brother, because I’m taller–”

“Oh, fuck off–”

“--But you'll always be my big brother too.” Then Jason realized that they were getting into super sappy territory so he tacked on, “In case the passing out on you didn’t get that through your thick skull.”

And just like that Dick’s soft big brother act, that he usually reserves for Damian, disappeared, “I swear, if I ever see you using those magical–”

“Bye!”

“--Soul sucking–”

“Bye!” 

“--Swords, I will–”

“Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye!” Jason rushed to shut the door, “Love ya too.”

Jay peeked over the couch, then slowly stood up then collapsed in the papasan chair, heaving out a sigh of relief, “And that’s supposed to be the same man who begs Bruce to give him space every time he visits?”

“I, honest to god, have no clue how that happened.” Jason sat back down on the couch.

Jay started opening up the binder in his hand, and then glanced at Jason, “Magical soul suckin' swords?”

“They’re not as bad as they sound.”

“Can I… see them?”

“No.”

They sat in silence, Jay finishing up his project and Jason continued reading until Jay definitely finished and started to open and close his mouth like he was debating asking a question.

Jason set his book down and settled deeper into the couch, “Are ya gonna continue to catch flies with your mouth or are ya gonna ask?”

“Hold up, I'm debatin' if I should ask the harder questions first or the easy ones.”

Jason drummed his fingers on his knee, “Start with the easy ones. I might not be allowed to answer the harder ones.” Jay frowned, so Jason added, “By Bruce. 'Cause he’s a control freak.”

“Naturally.” Jay shifted so he was mirroring Jason’s body language, “Why are your eyes blue?”

Jason gave him a ‘Use your brain’ look, because, really?

“Well, I know it’s because of the Multiverse and not everything’s gonna be the same, but there are certain things that have to stay the same for us to be Jason , right? So… if you’re more white passing, but ya still look like Papi, then–”

“Yeah, we have different birth moms. Though, Catherine did raise me.”

“Were ya also on the streets?”

Jason nodded, “And boostin' the tires off of Bruce’s car seems to be a multiversal constant.”

Jay grinned, “It’s just iconic behavior, as Eddie would put it.” Then he gestured to the front of his hair, “Vitiligo?”

“Dick still doesn’t have a clue. I’m 90% sure he thinks it’s the magical swords.”

“Son of the world's greatest detective and he still can’t figure it out.”

Jason rolled his eyes, “The last reality we went to, it was one where none of us were heroes, and that Jason said he had vitiligo, and ya wanna know what Dick said? He said ‘I guess the white streak is also a universal constant. Even if the reason isn’t magic in this one.’ ”

Jay blinked, “You’re pullin' my leg.”

“No, I’m not! He genuinely believes the white streak is from magic. I guess an autoimmune disease isn’t cool enough for him.”

“Yo, I think all the hair dye has been damaging my hair. They don’t curl the same way as the rest of my hair.” Jay tugged at one of his little loopies. “What about the whole secret identity thing?”

“Helmet. I lost it a couple realities ago, though. Also, yeah, ever since I stopped dyin' it, it’s been growin' back curlier.”

“College?”

“Next question.”

A bunch of different emotions flashed across Jay’s face, “What?”

“Next question.”

“No.” Jay crossed his arms, “You can’t be me if you didn’t want to go to college.”

“Who says I didn’t?” Jason leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees, “Next question.”

Jay’s voice came out much smaller, “...Graduation?”

He leaned back again, “You get three more questions.”

“Your universe sucks, you know.”

Jason barked out a laugh, “Kid, this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg.”

Jay seemed to think carefully about what he was about to ask next, “Garzonas?”

“Did that animal die? Yes. Did I push him? No. Did Bruce know that until recently? Also no. I’m pretty sure.”

Jay’s eyes narrowed, “Did… Did your Bruce kick you out?”

Jason shook his head, “Just… I guess I was on probation or something, and when I proved to be ‘too reckless’, he fired me from being Robin. Then I ran away…” And then he died, “How’d it happen with you?”

“He also fired me from Robin for a bit. I… I really thought Bruce would kick me out. I mean, I wasn’t Robin at the time, and what use was I to Bruce if I wasn’t his partner? Then Dick came back from space, and asked why he hadn’t seen Robin in any of the news he’d been catching up on, and I told him. Then he rushed straight to the manor and I’m sure all of Gotham could hear Dick knock some sense into him. Turns out, Bruce didn’t even realize that I thought that being Robin was the only thing that tied me to the manor, and I didn’t really realize how much Bruce cares.” Jay looked Jason in the eyes and then groaned, “You did not just come to that realization, did you? No, that was a hypothetical question, not a real one. You are a sad little man.” He leaned back and looked at the ceiling, “Is that why your Bruce keeps looking at me funny? Cus you ran away at my age? Instead of just… talkin' with him? Well, I’m assumin' you talk now, because you’re on a multiversal adventure with him, but– Sufferin’ succotash, I’m still caught up on the college thing. Why not just get a GED and go? Bruce’ll probably still pay for you.”

Jason sighed and ran a hand over “That was more than five questions. Short answer is I trusted someone I shouldn’t have.”

“That’s ominous and dramatic. The only reason I can think of why you wouldn’t be able to go is if you just… no longer had an ID or something–" Jason went ramrod straight because how in tarnation do you guess that? Jay’s eyes widened, “Did you have to go into witness protection? Don’t they give you a new life if you do? Why not just ask the government if you can go to college– actually, forget I asked that. The government sucks, but–”

“I’m legally dead.”

“Heh?”

“Like, my heart stopped. For six months. I have a grave and everything.”

Jay blinked a couple times and then snorted, “Ok, Jesus.”

Jason let his entire face drop. Devoid of any emotions. He knows it’s macabre, because there were still parts of death that clung to him like gorilla glue. 

Maybe the rest of his siblings have died before. Though it was different with them. They died for minutes. Jason was dead for months. And sure, so was Damian, but he was brought back on purpose. Jason was brought back by mistake.

Talia was the first person to see him disassociate, and she said she thought he was reverting back to his state of comatose. The first time Cass saw, it freaked her into a panic attack. She said his emotions, body, mind– they all read as dead . And everyone, save Damian, looked pale. Like they were looking at a ghost.

He snapped his attention back to Jay, whose face was ashen. “Your universe sucks.” he pulled one of his knees to his chest and rested his chin on it. He could tell Jay had a hand on the cross that rested on his sternum, “If you died… was there an afterlife?”

“I don’t remember.” That was a lie. There was a recurring dream that he had. One where he was swinging over a green field that seemed to span miles and miles and miles. It was one of those dreams he never wanted to wake up from. One of those dreams where he felt nothing but peace. He felt at peace.

A part of him wants to believe that dream was about him, flying over Heaven alongside the angels, but he knows he couldn’t have gone to heaven. He couldn’t have, because he came back as nothing but a vengeful spirit. 

There was a bone deep exhaustion settling in Jay’s bones. He knew it was because he was overworked, and overtired. Homework, projects, studying for tests, rehearsals– he would’ve been fine with just those. In fact, he would’ve been thriving with just those. 

Ever since his conversation with Bruce, he knew that if he took a break from being Robin, or even full on quit, he would still have a place with Bruce and Alfred. In fact, he has taken a couple breaks from Robin, and he thinks he finally knows what safety– no, peace means. It didn’t feel like the rug was going to be pulled out from under him. He finally felt like he was on solid ground.

Being Robin wasn’t exhausting him. Not when he knew he was allowed to take a break. 

Being bombarded with rogues every night, that was the problem. Because that meant he couldn’t take a break. Jay knew Bruce could handle the drug dealers and the pimps, but the rogues were the worst of the worst. Yeah, they had their problems, but they weren’t afraid of hurting people in creative ways. 

Robin’s supposed to have Batman’s back. He could deal with two hours of sleep, or the incessant throb in his knee. But if he took a break, and Batman got hurt because Robin wasn’t there to watch his six– he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t deal with losing another Dad to Two-Face.

He finished taping his knee, and pulled down the leg of his yellow snow pants.

Time to steal a penny or something

The next couple days passed very awkwardly, because it was quite a -ha- bomb that Jason dropped on Jay, one he immediately regretted after five minutes. Who dumps their trauma all over a 16 year old. ( He did it to Tim, but that was kinda different. They were having a sibling bonding moment.) Though, he doesn’t think he told Bruce. He feels like younger Bruce would have acted differently if he did know.

Currently, Jay was at rehearsal, and Jason was in the kitchen with Dick and Alfred making scones. Then the security alarm went off.

Bane.

They had a plan. Older Bruce would stay in the Batcave, while Younger Bruce would lure him down there. Once there, Bruce would take out Bane’s venom pack, giving Bane a major case of withdrawal. Jason and Dick would remain out of sight, but they were allowed to jump in if things went wrong.

They had a plan.

Still it didn’t stop Jason from wanting to pummel Bane’s face as soon as he knocked Alfred into the Grandfather Clock.

He’s alive. He’s alive. He’s alive.

Jason almost didn’t pay attention to the conversation Bruce and Bane were having.

“You’d kill just to rule this city? Just for–”

“I’d kill for anything. I’d kill to silence a grating voice. To darken the light in eyes that dared look at me.”

“Then while you revel in it, Bane, I’m sick of death, sick of the blood, the chaos, and horror you’ve brought to Gotham– and right into my home.”

The alarm to the gate went off, but it wasn’t the intruder alarm. 

Bane tilted his head, “Two birds, one stone.” 

Bane started walking towards the garage, however, Batman maneuvered in front of him, “You hurt my father, I will not let you hurt my son.” 

And then Batman went ham. The only problem was, Batman was now trying to keep Bane away from the garage, rather than lure him to the Batcave.

Dick lightly tapped Jason’s shoulder, and signed, ‘ Alfred’s stache.’

Jason blinked, and made a finger gun with his hand, along with a baffled face.

Dick nodded, “Better than me, hit the pack. Not head. Faith.”

“This Bruce is gonna hate me so much.” Still, he crept towards the pantry, where Alfred hid a handgun in the big tubberware of dry black beans. Then he grabbed the cartridge of bullets that was sealed inside the bottom of an olive oil tin.

Everyone except for Bruce knew they were there. Along with the ones hidden in the stairs, and the one in the couch of the study. They were all handguns, and Jason knew Alfred preferred and used shotguns, so there were definitely more, but they would remain forever hidden.

He stuck to the shadows of the manor’s corners, creeping his way to the spiral staircase near the garage entrance.

A minute later the door opened, Jay carrying his backpack.

Jason tapped out, I-N-T-R-U-D-E-R G-O T-O C-A-R, in morse code against the railing. As if on cue, there was a clatter that sounded like a bunch of hangars being knocked over.

Jay looked in the general direction of when Jason was hidden, and nodded, quietly opening the door and slinking out. 

Almost immediately, Batman got thrown into the wall perpendicular to the door, but Batman springboarded off of it and punched Bane in the gut. Except it barely phased him, “Bane, this fight is between you and me.”

Jason lined up the handgun with the venom pack, and turned the safety off.

One clean shot.

“This fight isn’t between you and me.” Bane grabbed Batman’s arm and slammed him into the floor, “This fight is between me, and anyone who gets in my way. If the butler had fought back anymore, I might’ve just had to kill him.” 

Jason knew his aim started to drift. One bullet, straight through Bane’s temple. He kills Bane now, Bane will never kill Alfred in this universe. Alfred can stay immortal.

Straight through the temple.

Jason’s pointer finger curled around the trigger. 

A wrench hit Bane in the nose, “That was supposed to be your welcome gift. Sorry it’s second hand. I wasn’t aware we were having guest.” Jay came back into view with a tire iron in hand, “Hi, Batman, sorry I couldn’t be more courteous. If I had known you were visiting, I would’ve come home sooner.”

“Robin, he knows.”

“ Pulchritudinous.” Jay swung the tire iron, in a way that was very reminiscent of the way Dick swung his christmas, slid under Bane and wacked him in the balls with the tire iron.

Bane didn’t even flinch. Instead, he grabbed the tire iron, and bent it in half, “That’s what I’m gonna do to your dad. First, though, I’m gonna make sure you have a good seat.” He swatted Jay away with the bent iron, then fixed Jay so that he was properly sitting up.

Jason glanced from Bane, to Batman, to Jay, who was clutching his stomach, eyes wide in horror as Bane moved back towards Batman.

Jason shifted his aim once more, letting out a breath as his finger tightened around the trigger. As his arm took the recoil of the firearm. As the venom pack burst into an explosion of green goop.

Because he couldn’t kill him. Not in front of Jay, who might eventually learn that the only Jason who has survived came back merciless and inhumane.

Immediately, Dick came flying in with a kick to Bane’s face, pummeling him with attacks as the lack of venom caused Bane to go into immediate withdrawal, only stopping when Bane was knocked out.

Jason slipped out of the shadows of the staircase, flicked the safety back on, and started to disassemble the gun, just as Old Man Bruce walked in supporting Alfred, 

Jason handed the disassembled pieces of the gun to Alfred, “I shot the hell outta that guy, huh.”

Dick huffed a laugh, and Jay looked a little confused from where he was propped up by, “Isn’t that from a video game? The one with the Zombies? Tim and Ives play it sometimes.”

“It’s a meme in our universe.” Dick held out a hand for younger Bruce, “Still comes from the video game though.”

Younger Bruce accepted the hand, and started pulling himself from the floor, “Jason, are you hurt?”

Jay shook his head, “I’m good.'' Then he tried to get up, and winced, “Maybe a coupla bruised ribs. Nothin’ too bad.”

Older Bruce shifted Alfred’s weight towards Jason, and went to carefully help Jay up, “Bruised or broken?”

Jay opened his mouth like he was about to let out a snarky reply, but paused when he looked at Bruce’s face. Then he took a slow breath–it wasn’t deep, but it was slow, “My lungs feel fine. If that’s what you’re asking. So if they are broken, it’s probably just a fracture.” Jay placed his hand on top of Bruce’s. So Bruce could subtly feel for a pulse, “I’ll be ok.” 

Younger Bruce peeled off his cowl and limped over to Jay, planting a kiss on his head. “Ok.” Then he turned to Jason, “Since when have you known to shoot?”

Jason shared a look with Alfred, and then looked to Jay, “Did this ignoramus send you to Ma Gunn’s School for Crime, too?”

Jay snickered and then winced, “Don’t make me laugh, it hurts. World’s greatest detective here.”

“What’s next, you know how to make poisons and assemble bombs?”

Jason gave him a bemused smirk, “Yes. I do.”

Bruce looked like he was about to say something when Jay’s phone began to ring. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and grinned at Dick, “I think your big brother instincts are goin’ off.”

Dick frowned, but then his eyes widened, and he buried his face in his hands, “That’s not why…”

Jay picked up, and there was the Facetime sound, “You better start shopping for a Tux, because Kori and I are going to be needing a ring bearer.”

Jason felt his jaw drop to the floor as he whipped his head towards his brother Dick, whose face was still buried, but his ears were red in embarrassment.

How did Jason never know that Dick and Kori were engaged? And he was friends with Kori. And Roy. Hell, Tim could’ve told him. Or Bruce. They’re all apostates.

Alfred seemed to be the first one to recover, “Congratulations, my boy!”

“Thanks, Alfie!”

“You asked Kori to marry you?” Jay seemed just as surprised as Jason was, “I owe Donna so much money.”

“That you do!” Donna shouted from the background.

Younger Dick laughed, “You know what, I’m too happy to be annoyed you two bet on my love life”

Jay was grinning from ear to ear, “Tis the best form of entertainment.” If it was possible, Jay’s smile turned even bigger, “Before you know it, I’ll be an uncle.”

Younger Bruce grunted. Which Jason translated to ‘ I'm not ready to be a grandfather yet,’ but then he tacked on, “I’m proud of you, Chum.”

“Thanks Bru– Holy shit, what happened to you?”

“February.” Bruce didn’t care to elaborate.

“Right, there was a massive Arkham break. Are you guys good over there?”

“That was our last Rogue. And this Robin is making like its namesake and taking a vacation ‘till spring.” He paused, “I should probably tell Spoiler.”

After Bane, things were pretty quiet. And with said quiet, and the fact that they still haven’t been thrown into a new reality for an entire week (new record! yey!) they were finally able to start on a prototype for the beacon.

Though it was mainly Bruce, because he’s a control freak. Other Bruce was Batman-ing even though he had a shattered arm and sprained ankle from Bane. Alfred was resting, and the only reason for that was because Dick and Jason promised to help Other Bruce if he needed it. 

And Jay put Robin to the side just like he said he would, focusing on school and the SATs and the musical. Like a normal teenager, doing normal teenage things. 

Also, apparently Tim and Ives were in Crew for the musical, and that's how Jay knew them. Small world. Or Tim’s stalker tendencies were a lot higher than Jason assumed.

Dick and Jason just finished a round of sparring when Jay came down, backpack in hand. He sat down at the table across from Bruce and pulled out a spiral notebook, a note packet, along with a textbook, and a red, a blue, and a black colored pen, plus a highlighter.

“No way. You were that kid?”

Jay looked up and frowned at Dick, “What D'ya mean?”

“The type who always had perfectly aesthetic notes in class.”

“No.” Jay shook his head “My class notes are usually written in pencil and looked like chicken scratch.” He held up what was written in his notebook, “I’m studying for a physiology test I have friday. Black’s the normal stuff that I remember, Red’s the stuff I don’t, or super important things, and I use the blue and the highlighter to put little annotations of my notes in the margins.”

Old Man Bruce looked up, “Jason uses that method to write up mission reports. You know that, Dick.”

“I guess I didn’t expect it to come from a studying method.”

Jay just shrugged and went to flip through the textbook, and his notepacket. Jason didn’t miss the fond look Bruce had on his face.

Dick and Jason started up another round.

For a bit the only sounds in the cave were Jason and Dick’s feet scuffing across the floor, and the slight clicks of Bruce tinkering.

And then, “Your Bruce mentioned something about college tours.”

Jason faltered in his step, and Dick landed a kick to his gut. Jason grabbed the leg and pulled, but Dick twisted out of his grip and landed on his feet. They started circling each other again.

Jay glanced up from his notes and grinned, “Yeah, over break, we’re gonna visit Rutgers, Montclair, and Princeton, and then over April break, I’m going up to New York to visit the Titans and Dick, Donna and I are gonna check out NYU, and Columbia. Over summer break we were planning on visiting the UCs, Midwestern and more Ivys, but I have my eyes on Columbia, and I will get in.”

Jason attempted to sweep Dick’s feet, but he jumped and called out, “Nerd!”

Jay turned towards them and stuck out his tongue, “Bold words for a dropout.”

Dick kicked the back of Jason’s knee, causing them to buckle, but he dropped into a roll.

Bruce hummed, “I thought you said you wanted to go to Princeton or NYU?”

Jay set his pen down and gave Bruce his full undivided attention, “Well, I do, and I’d still ecstatic if I got into them, but I’ve been thinking more about what I want to be when I grow up, not just what I want to do . And I don’t see myself being someone who wears a cape and fights crime forever , ya know? I think I’m starting to… outgrow the whole ‘fighting crime’ thing, but I still want to help people. And Columbia has a good Lit and Bio program, so I think it’ll be a good place for me.”

Jason completely stopped and turned towards Jay, “You wanna be a doct–AACk!” Jason turned to glare at Dick who just kicked him in the jaw.

“Yup! Just like Leslie and Grandpa Thomas. I’m thinking  of being an ER specialist, or family medicine, but time might change that.”

Bruce’s eyes started to shine, and what could only be a look of pride engulfed his face. 

This… this was a very cruel type of torture. Obviously he was proud of Jay too. The kid was living . He was older than any other Jason they had met. Bruce’s pride over the life Jason could’ve had, should be engulfing him like a hug. Instead it was wrapping around him like a boa constrictor.

He took a deep breath, “I’m gonna go take a shower and make some tea. Any of you want some?”

Dick lobbed a towel at him, “Would you hit me if I asked for hot cocoa?”

Jason snapped the towel at him, “I’ll smack you either way.”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.” Jay picked up his pen again.

Jason ruffled his hair, not waiting for Bruce to say what he wanted, and headed upstairs.

Jay waited to hear the door to the bathroom close. He knew Dick was farther off somewhere, but he would be out of earshot, “Why haven’t you legally revived him yet?”

Bruce immediately snapped his gaze back to Jay, “How do you know about that?”

“You’re not the only detective, remember?” He wasn’t going to tell Bruce about his conversation he had with Jason the other day. That would be rude. “I’m just saying, if you did, he’d probably choose a similar path as I have. Eventually.” It did take Jay a while to realize Robin wasn’t something he wanted forever. It’s been something on the fence about him since his Bruce made him take a break in April. If the vigilante life really was worth it, or if it hurt him too much just to help other people. 

Bruce hummed, “He’s never asked. I don’t want to over step.”

He looked to the ceiling of the batcave, “Your emotional incompetence hinders your ability to see what is in plain sight.” Jay leveled Bruce with a look, “Sure, I’ll tell it to you straight, but when have you ever known me to ask you for anything?”

Bruce tilted his head in a way that said there was that one time…

Whatever that means, “I mean, I could be wrong. That Jason has a half a decade of experience and trauma on me. He could be a completely different person because of it. But there’s certain things that have to have stayed somewhat the same, and I feel like Jason's… kinda like me from about a year ago. He’s expecting the rug to be pulled out from underneath him.  He doesn’t know where he stands with you, because you won’t tell him explicitly. I’m not like Dick. If– aw snickerdoodles, I’m about to tell you all my secrets. If I seem angry about something, I’m probably scared.” He’s honestly surprised Mr. World’s Greatest Detective hasn’t figured that out yet.

He could see the pieces fall into place in Bruce’s mind.

“I know this is going to be a completely foreign idea to you, but what if… you talked to him. With words. Not immediately, because he’ll figure out I had to hold your hand to get you to cross that street, but eventually. When the time is right.”

“How will I know when that is? Or if I’ll say the right things?”

Jay raised his eyebrow, “You’re talking about a cure to your emotional constipation? Turn off the logical side of your brain and just talk. Mean what you say and all that good stuff.”

Being dead is stupid . 

Sure, Jason has numerous fake IDs for various things, and he could get a GED using one of them, and then go to whatever college he wanted to. But he didn’t want to go to college as ‘Peter Thomas’ or ‘Jason Willis’ or ‘Todd Jackson’. He wanted an education. 

Jason Peter Todd-Wayne.

That’s the name we wanted on the diploma. Except Jason Peter Todd-Wayne no longer existed. So he couldn’t get a highschool diploma, or enroll in college, or go to med-school, or become a doctor.

And he’s beyond happy for Jay. He really really is, but envy and jealousy are fickle things that have seemed to consume Jason post-mortum.

He’s jealous of Dick who will always know Bruce like the back of his hand. Who doesn’t even have to look at Bruce to know when something’s wrong. He’s jealous of Tim who seemed to have snuck his way into Bruce’s life. Who will always somehow pick him up, while Jason seems to knock him down whenever they’re in the same room. He’s jealous of Cass. Because she will always be perfect in Bruce’s eyes, and Jason is the polar opposite from her. Meaning, to Bruce, Jason can only be the blood staining the walls of his house made out of gold.

He’s envious of Jay who still has it all. He still has his life. He still has the magic of Robin that

never seemed to leave any of his siblings. The magic that decided to abandon Jason. 

It doesn’t make any sense.

It’s not fair.

He’s not the only one who has died, so why is he the only one who lost everything and can’t get it all back. 

He can’t get his old life back.

He’ll never be able to be that kid who was happy to finally have a home. The one who was overjoyed to be able to learn again, and barely let himself think about the future because if he thought about it for too long, the insecure part of his brain would tell him ‘this isn’t forever.’

But it could’ve been. 

If he didn’t die.

He would’ve always had a home in the manor instead of being treated like an intruder every time he visited if he didn’t die. He could’ve had a family that welcomed him with open arms instead of a guard that’s always up

He should’ve never gone to– The Joker should’ve never– He should’ve never been– He should’ve never met–

He’s not supposed to be there anymore. He doesn’t fit anywhere anymore. He can blame everyone, he can blame himself, but at the end of the day it doesn’t change anything .

He would never be able to make Bruce proud because the Jason Peter Todd-Wayne who could’ve done that was dead. Or forever stuck in a warehouse watching an unphased face smoke a cigarette while his brain was being bashed in with a crowbar.

‘Could’ve beens’ suck.

He poured some milk in a pot on the stove, and some hot water in a kettle, then moved onto chopping chocolate. Then he grabbed Dick’s Superman mug, Jay’s Wonder Woman mug, and two china cups.

He debated only taking one cup and not making some for Bruce, but then realized that would be petty and Bruce wasn’t being intentionally cruel by being proud of a different version of him talking about college and dreams. 

If anything, it was kinda sad. 

Just like it was sad that Jason still knew that Dick liked his hot chocolate with extra sugar and a dash of nutmeg, because he said that’s how Haley’s Circus made it during their winter season. 

Just like it was sad that he knew Bruce preferred white tea after eight pm, with one teaspoon of honey and a splash of lemon, but he couldn’t remember why.

He couldn’t remember why.

He made hibiscus blueberry tea for himself and Jay, placed all four cups on a tray, and brought them down to the cave.

Dick was currently sitting at the Batcomputer, which had names of people known to have traveled different realities. Wally, and Dr. Fate. 

Jason set the tray down on the table Bruce and Jay were at, and grabbed his and Dick’s cups bringing them over to the Computer, “Doesn’t Tim have a speedy friend? The Imp?” 

Impulse. He died right before Jason’s last multiversal adventure. Another kid gone because they were given the responsibility of saving the world before they were even allowed to vote.

He was pretty sure the kid was back now, but still. It seemed like the number of sidekicks multiplied after Jason died, not went down to zero.

Jay was halfway through a sip when he made a face, “Tim has a speedy friend?”

“Well, not yet. Because he’s still in the future.” Dick swiveled around in the batcomputer chair and took his mug of Hot Cocoa from Jason, “Also, Tim’s the Robin after this guy.” Dick patted Jason’s shoulder.

Jay frowned, looking from Bruce to Jason, “But…what?”

Jason slightly shook his head.

Jay lifted his eyebrows once and crossed his arms, “After all that time I spent convincing him not to follow us around with a camera at night, all he does is lose the camera.” he grumbled, “When did Tim become Robin?” 

And here’s the thing about Jason. He’s not as brash as most people make him out to be. He survived on the streets for a while. Most people don’t know immediately when he’s angry, because if they did, he would've gotten himself killed on the streets. Most of the time he’s been outwardly angry, he’d really been… scared.

Point being, Jason knew himself. And he knew the curiosity Jay was putting on had an undercurrent of incredulity. And he really wasn’t in the mood to go through the whole ‘ Why was there another Robin after the last one died?’ thing.

Jason slid into the chair beside Bruce, so he was across from Jay, “Halloween. Oh! Would ya look at that? Flashcards.” he reached over to grab them and started shuffling, “If you get anything below a 95 because you were too busy yapping with us, I will be very disappointed in you.” 

Jay rolled his eyes, “You tryna live vicariously through me?”

Jason didn't dignify a response. Instead he skimmed through the flashcards to figure what Jay was studyi–

Oh.

Cancers.

Well, too late to back out now. “Alright, how do you wanna do this? I give you the name and you tell me the symptoms, and the group it falls under?” He flipped the deck around so that Jay could only see the 

“I was about to say how creepy it is how you know exactly how I think, but then I realized you’re me.” Jay took a sip of his tea and motioned for Jason to ask away.

They got through a bunch. Almost half of the 120 flashcards Jay had created. Because of the 120 different types of cancer. And they both knew the card was coming. Still it didn’t stop them from freezing when Jason pulled out the card that had Osteosarcoma written out in all caps.

It was the type of cancer Mami had.

Of course, Jason didn’t actually know that until he had come to live in the manor. When she had first gotten it, he was still too young to fully understand what was going on. Why when Mami went to go pick him up, he heard a slight snap and she immediately set him down. Or why she was constantly placing heating pads on her upper arms. But by the time he was six, he knew she was hurt. Because he remembers having to stay with their neighbors some nights, because the next time he saw Mami, she was in a hospital bed. By the time he was seven, he knew she was sick. Because sometimes after their trips to the library, they would go to Gotham General and he would curl up into Mami’s side while she read to him. As she slowly lost her hair and her figure grew frail.

But she couldn’t get Chemo for long, because Papi went missing, and he was the one paying off their medical debt. And she had to make due with the cheapest medicine available. Painkillers.

From Ibuprofen, to Naproxen, to Gotham-made Hydrocodone, and Morphine, and eventually Heroin. In the end, who knows if it was the tumor that metastasized or if the painkillers were laced with fentanyl.

Well, it was the fentanyl that killed Mami, Bruce showed him the reports after he freaked out on Two-Face, but it could’ve just as easily been the Cancer that had gone untreated.

He didn’t know that growing up, but there were so many similar stories, he figured out during his time as the Red Hood. People who were in debt, who needed proper medical attention, but could afford it. So they turned to painkillers to save them from the pain. It was Gotham though, so of course the harder stuff was going to be laced. 

Jay frowned, and shifted in his seat, so he was hugging his leg, head resting on his knee,  “It’s a sarcoma, so bones, but not a myeloma which comes from the bone marrow. Usually it occurs at the ends of your bones, because those are the growing parts. The metaphyses. The most common places of development are the femur, the tibia and the…humerus.” Jay suddenly found the string to the teabag very interesting, “It can also occur in the pelvis, skull and jaw, most of the cases are of people under the age of 25, but the average age is 15. For causes… Genetics, uh, lack of blood to bone tissue– bone infarctio n. Rapid growth, like…puberty, and exposure to radiation, because radiation’s fun for everyone.” He flicked the W on the mug three times, “And symptoms are like most bone cancers: pain, swelling, pain with movement, unexplained fevers, and bones that break with simple movements.” 

“Nailed it.” Jason leaned over and flicked Jay’s curls with the flashcard, “But you still have…” Jason flipped through the cards, “32 more.”

A slow smile creeped on Jay’s face, “Easy peasy.”

The next couple weeks passed by. Jay made true to his word of staying in bed all of February break, except for rehearsal and the college tours he and younger Bruce planned. So, mainly, he stayed in bed over the weekend. 

The day they were supposed to leave to visit Princeton also happened to be the day it snowed 16 inches. And Jason didn’t like the snow. He hated it , but over the years it’s become more bearable, and sure, Alfred had recovered from Bane’s attack, but he decided to shovel the snow for him.

It was also four in the morning, and he had woken up from a nightmare, but that's besides the point. He was just doing something nice for Alfred. That’s all. 

It wasn’t even a nightmare about his death or any of the actually traumatic things that had happened to him, like dying, or crawling out of his grave, or the things he saw on the street.

It wasn’t even the new nightmares he’d been having of himself dying in different ways, but from a first person point of view.

No. The dream actually started off nice. Him and Mami were reading together, and Papi was there playing Billy Joel. Then two shots rang out, and Jason expected himself to be dead. But he wasn’t. Papi was on the floor bleeding, and he tried to stop it, but he wouldn’t stop bleeding. Then Mami pulled him into her arms, and he held onto her as tight as he could. But she was slowly getting thinner and thinner, until all he was hugging was a corpse. A skeleton.

Then he was running, and he was running through their apartment building trying to find someone, anyone, but each apartment was just a different dead Jason. 

Until he got to an empty apartment, but when he got in, the entire room had mirrors on all sides, and he was withering. Just like Mami had. Getting thinner and thinner, hair and skin peeling off, slowly revealing a skeleton with the most messed up bones. 

He focused on the repetitive motion of scooping up the snow and throwing it to the side. Ignoring the numbness spreading in his knees and hip, and ignoring the way his fingers started to lock up from the cold. 

It didn’t take long for Bruce to join him. Older Bruce, by his gait. 

They shoveled in sync, one after the other, falling into a rhythm. He absolutely refused to let his mind wander to the dream he had, so he fully switched gears.

He could totally see Jay becoming a doctor. Honestly, Jason would’ve done that just to spite Dick and Bruce for dropping out of college. Obviously, he can’t, though. Because Jason Todd doesn’t exist but–

“Jason.” He ruined their rhythm and looked at Bruce. He’s been looking at him in that way he had been recently. Like he was looking at the barrier they had placed between each other, wishing to tear it down, “If you still wanted to go to college, you still could.”

Jason froze, because when did Bruce become a mind reader? Jay and Younger Bruce were going to visit Princeton, so they were just thinking of the same things. That’s all. 

“Well, you would need a GED, though I could help you with that if you would like.” 

Jason didn’t dare look at Bruce’s face. “You don’t get it.” There was a knot forming in Jason’s stomach. Or, maybe it had been there all this time, and Bruce dangling the idea of something he’s wanted for so long, but could never have, made him feel like a fish who was about to eat bait and end up as someone else’s dinner.

“I suppose I don’t.” Bruce stopped shoveling and stretched out his back, “Otherwise I would have asked you this sooner. I was… afraid, in asking, I would drive you away, and hoped you would come to me in your own time. And I have realized that the card was never really visible on the table for you.”

“No, Bruce, that’s not–” Jason stopped shoveling, “I don’t want to go to college as ‘John Doe’, or whatever alias.”

“And I want you to go as Jason Peter Todd-W–” Bruce cut himself off, “I want you to go as Jason Peter Todd.”

Jason gave him a deadpan stare, “Dead kids don’t go to college.”

“And if said child was legally revived?”

He blinked, “What?”

“I’ve had the paperwork ready ever since you came back. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t really sure where we stood, though you’ll always be my son. Your death did not change that, and I am sorry I haven’t made that clear.”

“I’m– you’ve had the– what?”

“You don’t have to make the choice right now. We still have a lot of time before we return home, and even then, you can wait as long as you would like, but, um, I just wanted you to be aware you had more options, and no matter what you choose, I’ll be proud of you, because at the end of the day, I will still have you. That’s what’s most important.”

He felt something loosen up in his chest. All the hopes and lost dreams he had collected in the manor and crumpled up after his death were suddenly being reopened. “No strings no nothin’?”

“If I had things my way, I would ask you to never leave my sight, but I’ve realized I am incapable of controlling any of you, so no.”

“Are– are you real?” Jason poked Bruce’s shoulder to find he was really there. Jason was never one to hallucinate though, “Are you… an imposter? Because wouldn’t me coming back to life be suspicious? It would jeopardize our secret identities and–”

“Jason. Since when have you known me not to be prepared?”

“Literally a couple weeks ago when we were actively being pinballed around the Multiverse.” 

Bruce looked like he didn’t want to talk about that, “Well, I have been planning this for five years, and have 10 different contingencies and cover stories we could use. I can show you once we get home. Again you don’t have to decide right away.”

“Yes.” 

It was Bruce’s turn to reboot, “Yes?”

“For crying out loud, yes.” He felt like jumping up and down and pulling Bruce into a hug, but he didn’t because they’d probably slip on the driveway. “I feel like Pinocchio, yes.”

Jay really didn’t feel like getting out of bed that morning. He was barely able to fall asleep the night before. The throbbing in his knee had made it impossible to ignore the pain, but he couldn’t get his knee comfortable without making his ribs flare up, even though they were wrapped. Maybe he should’ve marked all those flips during rehearsal instead of doing them at 30%.

Though, the other reason he didn’t want to get out of bed was because it was cold. Because of the manor’s size, it did a poor job at retaining heat during the winter, and he was all toasty under all of his blankets. Once he got out from under his blankets, he would be reminded of the cold, and snow, and his first winter on the streets, and–

Yeah, no, he’s getting out of bed.

But all he could get himself to do was stare at the ceiling. He wasn’t even focusing on anything– just head empty.

No. It was not going to be one of those days where he just went through the motions. He wanted to remember today. He was touring Princeton for christ sake.

Bruce said he could drive. He can’t drive if he’s dissociating.

It’s not currently snowing in Princeton. He checked the weather the night before.

If he doesn’t start moving, the weight of everything before this moment will come crashing down on him and he won’t be able to do anything. 

It happened during the end of June when he was done with all of his finals and he didn’t have anything to distract him, so he just… powered down. He was stuck in his bed and either his mind was on a loop of some horrible thing that had happened in his life or his mind wasn’t there. Then Bruce offered him back Robin, along with the rule that if you need a break, you take a break and that’s not just for if you’re sick or injured.

But every time that Jay takes a break from Robin and he has nothing to distract him, something inside him shuts off. It happened towards the end of august, but it didn’t happen when he took a break to study for midterms. Then he extended that break into the December Holidays, and boom– everything turned off.

Until Dick physically dragged him out of bed and then to New York where he spent time doing holiday activities with the Titans. Then he got to talking with Raven, and she said it was just his body and mind finally feeling safe enough to turn off his fight or flight mode.

But Jay already gave himself the weekend to bedrot. He has stuff to do today. Places to be. He knows once he gets moving, he won’t stop, so he just has to get moving.

The giddiness of being– ha of being alive again, somewhat faded once they came inside and Jason’s fingers were next to useless, and his joints were throbbing. And with useless fingers, he couldn’t flip the pages of a book, so he was stuck with watching TV with Dick and Bruce as Jay and younger Bruce were out.

“I suggest we watch Mission Impossible.”

Dick and Jason both groaned, “Action movies aren’t interesting when you know you can do all the stunts.”

“They’re also predictable, and even though they up the stakes with each movie, you know Tom Cruise is going to succeed. Also, most of the time, the plot is just big explosions, gotta climb up this giant building with a side of a pretty lady.” 

Dick continued to scroll through the options on the TV, “Ugh, I’ve already watched all of these. I hate being in an alternate reality that’s a couple years behind ou–”

“Wait! Hold up, go back. No, the other way. Anne with an E?”

Dick whipped his head towards Jason, “You’ve never– shit, I forgot you were dead.” He clicked on the movie and grinned, “It’s an Anne of Green Gables adaptation.”

“Is it a good adaptation?”

“It was a good series.”

Jason ran a hand across his face, “They better not have ruined her.”

Dick played the first episode. They were about halfway through by the time Jay and younger Bruce came home.

“Oh! Are you guys watching Anne with an E? I love that show.”

Jason frowned and looked back at Jay, “But it’s nothing like the–”

“It’s a great show. Not based on any children’s book at all . Nope.” Jay sat in the armchair and pulled his knee to his chest, “Because if it was, it would ruin the books because it’s a lot darker than the source material. This show is great, because it’s not in any way related to Anne of Green Gables.”

Jason raised his eyebrows, and then thought back on all the episodes he’d been hating on because they took too many liberties. If he didn’t think about them as being an adaptation, he probably would really like the series. 

But then he’d start thinking the same way about other adaptations. Then again, this was pretty good, just different.

It was really good.

Jason’s eyes weren’t watering up when Mathew and Merilla officially adopted Anne. No way. It was definitely not because it hit close to home. No way.

He glanced over at Jay to see if he was having the same reaction– only to find him asleep. Honestly, Jason’s surprised he felt safe enough to sleep around them.

The college tour must’ve taken a lot out of him. 

Time went on, Bruce, Dick and Jason continued to work on the beacon, while Jay kept himself busy with the musical and school. Something about ‘Hell week’ and SATs. It was a big difference from the way Jason remembered splitting up his time during most of his years in the manor. Jay was more Jason Todd-Wayne than Robin. 

Soon Jason would be more Jason Todd-Wayne than just Red Hood.

He heard the rhythm of Dick coming down the stairs, except, Dick was currently at the bat computer typing up a code for the beacon… so–

“Who the fuck are you guys and what are you doing here?” Younger Dick got into a fighting stance.

Hold up, “Is that.. A mullet ?” Jason whipped his head back towards the computer, “Dick, did you have a mullet?”

Older Dick turned around in the chair and offered younger Dick an apologetic shrug, “I’m assuming your Bruce didn’t tell you. A robin is the first sign of spring. ”

Bruce looked up from the workbench, “It’s one bad night for some ART , chum.”

Younger Dick seemingly relaxed, but he definitely still had his guard up, and glanced at Jason, “Why are you taller than me?”

Jason shrugged, “Green Gatorade.” Jason looked back towards older Dick, whose ears were red, so he definitely had that haircut, “You had a mullet in 2017 and you tried to tell me that I would fit in just fine when we were in the 80s.”

“No comment.”

Younger Dick looked from Jason to Dick, “What, were you not around?”

“ I was actually not around.” Younger Dick’s face contorted in the way it does when he’s upset with Bruce– Oh right, Jay told Dick about Bruce firing him from Robin and about being scared of being kicked out, “Because I was in a coma.” 

Younger Dick paused, “What? For how long?”

“Um… that’s a great question.” Jason did a little bit of math, if he woke up on Halloween, and then Talia picked him up around May… “At max six months.”

That made Dick’s frown deepen as he slowly turned to Bruce, but older Dick cut in, “We don’t know exactly because Talia kidnapped him–”

“Oh my god, Richard, she did not kidnap me, I woke up, catatonic, and ran away from the hospital, and–”

“She found you and brought you to the league, technically against your will.”

“I was taking down league assassins on pure muscle memory, yet I didn’t attack her. That’s as close to self accord as it gets. Also, we’ve been to seven universes where she’s our mom.”

“You said we’ve been traveling to these universes because of the Law of Attraction. You probably thought of us being in a universe where Talia and Bruce were married.”

“I would not! Talia deserves so much better than Bruce.” Jason then turned to Bruce, “And I mean that full offense, Old Man. You have some major issues you need to sort through.”

Bruce looked up from the soldering bench, “What did I do?”

“You know what you did. Also, we’ve been too sappy recently. Where was all of this, say… five years ago? Huh?”

Younger Dick snorted, “You finally shedded the ‘ goody two shoes’ act.” 

That fully caused Jason to reboot, “Excuse me, goody two shoes ? You're –”

Dick’s phone chimed, and he pulled out his phone, “Speak of the angel. A snap. From Jason.” He glanced at older Dick, “Bets on what it’ll be?”

Dick gave a fond smile and shook his head, “I would say whatever book he’s reading, but he’s in rehearsal right now, so…”

“I bet he’s going to be studying, while they’re in the middle of a break.” Dick opened the snap and grinned, shoving the phone in Jason’s face, showing Jay, sitting on a set piece behind stage, knee to his chest, writing in an SAT textbook that was balanced on top of a stand along with a little line of text that said, “ Tim here, Jason told me to tell u that u guys have guests, so don’t, hehe, flip out”

“Give me that.” Jason grabbed Dick’s phone out of his hands, started walking out of reach as he typed out, “that was a horrible pun. And you call yourself a fan”

“Wdym?”

He started running because Dick was using his flippy moves to catch up, “I know you know.”

Dick ripped the phone out of Jason’s hands, “What in the world?”

Older Dick peeked over Dick’s shoulder, and then shot Jason a deadpan expression, “Seriously?”

“Terrorizing Tim is my favorite hobby.” Jason shrugged “You said he’s known about our identities since he was nine.”

Younger Dick started typing away, “But now he’s gonna think I’m terrorizing him.”

“That’s the best part.” 

“Why would I terrorize a 13 year old?”

“When I was 13 you literally told me that–”

“ I didn’t tell you anything.”

“ Ne nenene ne –”

Bruce let out a sharp whistle, “Quiet!”

“You can’t tell me what to do.” Jason and younger Dick looked at each other, “Stop that.” Dick covered Jason’s mouth, “Shut up, I’m older.”

Jason chomped down, and Dick immediately let go, “Are you?”

There was a moment when horror dawned on Dick’s face, but Bruce rolled his eyes, “You guys are the same age.”

“Yup, Jason turned 23, like, a month ago.”

Jason glared at older Dick, “You, absolute conniving, backstabbing two-timing whistle-blower. You’re supposed to be my brother and you deceive me like this? This is the single worst act of betrayal in my entire life.” 

“Holy dramatic younger brother, Batman.”

Maybe it was a dumb idea to take the SATs the same week of the musical, but when Jay registered in December, he really didn’t think it would be much of a problem. It just made the  most sense. In May, he had APs, in June he had finals, and yeah, he could always take them in August, but he still wanted to make sure he had enough time to retake the test in case he got a bad score. He also didn’t want to have to take the October SAT because it felt too close to the Early Decisions deadline.

So there he was at 8:00 a.m. on a Saturday at a school that was in the town over, because Gotham City High doesn’t offer the SATs at their school because of the possibility of a rogue attack. 

He felt his heart pound in his chest. His hands were sweaty, but his fingers were ice. He literally felt like this last night, and the night before. What even is this? He jumps off of buildings every night, and beats up pimps on a regular basis. Why does a silly little test have him square breathing?

Maybe all the adrenaline he’s had coursing through his body will finally catch up to him and he’ll have a heart attack and die.

Jay adjusted the compression sleeve on his knee, while going through the five four three two one method Alfred taught him for grounding.

He couldn’t give up just because he had an anxiety attack. Not when Jason looked so much like Papi when he said he'd be disappointed if he got anything below a 95. Obviously he knows Papi would be happy that Jay has an opportunity to get a good education. And he couldn’t waste that opportunity. He wasn’t going to.

He turned his attention to the proctor, and waited for the test to begin.

The beacon was up and running by Sunday and as a treat, they decided to catch the closing night Gotham City High’s production of Grease. Alternate reality Bruce, alternate reality Dick, and Alfred had been going to every single showing, and it was only right that they watched Jay perform, seeing all the hard work he put into it. 

It wasn’t the worst thing ever. It just… wasn’t the best. The kid who played Danny Zuko wasn’t a really good singer and slightly behind the beat while singing. Jason could see the girl who played Sandy (who played the part beautifully) eye twitching whenever they had to sing together. And maybe Jason was biased, but Jay, who played Doody, and the girl who played Frenchy definitely stole the show. He could tell from the crowd’s reaction. The girl who played Frenchy was a really strong dancer and singer, and Jay did at least one flip or crazy high jump in every high energy dance number he was in.

Jason can imagine how that happened. The choreographer asks, ‘Say, isn’t your older brother Dick the flying Grayson? Did he ever teach you how to do a flip?’  

Though, the way Jay flipped across stage gave no indication to the fact that he was Robin. They were heavier, with less bounce, and Jay acted like it took a lot out of him.

Younger Dick was the loudest person in the audience whenever Jay did a flip. It totally went against theater etiquette, but every time Jay’s grin grew wider.

All in all, it wasn’t the worst musical. Jason vaguely remembers the musical from the year before being a complete dumpster pile. 

The six of them waited in the lobby for Jay, and watched as the cast slowly emerged to greet family and friends. Jay was one of the last people to show, but he was talking with a mini Tim and a kid who Jason assumed to be Ives. Though the Ives kid seemed to break off with a wave and head to his parents.

Jay was on a path towards them, but he kept getting stopped and congratulated. And even though Jay was staying polite, it was obvious he was out of his comfort zone. 

“Oi! Mr. Superstar! Broadway called, they want their Blockbuster back!” 

Some of the tension seemed to drain out of Jay as he carefully made his way to them, avoiding anyone else that seemed to come his way by being entirely engrossed in a conversation with Tim, “...to say the words ‘thank you’ so many times in the past three days, I’m starting to feel like a broken record.”

“The main thing they’re complimenting you on, are your flips. Those were like, fours. At best.”

Jay frowned, “I’d like to see you do six flips, while singing and dancing. An entire week in a row.”

“I feel like I could.” Tim had a slight smile that seemed to say ‘I know the exact thing you’re trying not to tell me.’ which he does. Which is probably why Tim looked a little confused when he saw Jason, Older Dick and Older Bruce. Obviously they were in disguises, aka, Bruce and Dick grew out their facial hair, and Jason was pulling off the Clark Kent special, so really they were doing the bare minimum, but also, less is more. 

Tim stuck his hand out, “I’m Tim.”

Jason grinned, this was going to be so much fun, “And I’m Jason from an Alternate Universe.”

Jay facepalmed, “No he’s not. He’s joking. He’s my cousin.” Jay barely paused, searching for a name, “Peter. He can be a nuisance sometimes.”

Tim frowned, because he definitely knew Peter was Jason’s middle name, but went along with it, “You look like a Peter.”

Dick looked like he was having trouble holding back a laugh, “I’m Mark, I used to babysit Jay.”

Tim shook his hand, and turned to Bruce.

“I’m Noah. Willis was a friend of mine.”

Jason then butted in, “Aren’t you the kid who took the photos for the musical’s Instagram? They were really good.”

Tim grinned, “Thank you. It’s been a hobby of mine for a while now.”

Jason nodded, “I bet it has. You seem like someone who takes pictures of birds.”

He frowned, though it was in a what do you know sort of way, “There haven’t been any birds out in a while.”

Jason raised an eyebrow, “Whaddaya mean? I’ve definitely seen a couple today.” He glanced at Jay, who wasn’t even paying attention to their conversation. He was balanced on one leg stretching out his hamstring while zoned out on the wall behind Jason. 

Tim, being the little gremlin he was, shoved Jay over. Of course, younger Bruce immediately caught him by the elbow.

Jay steadied himself and leveled a look at Tim, "Your fervent, misguided sense of entitlement is stunning." Jay sighed, he pulled his keys out of his pocket, “I can’t wait for the three blankets and five pillows calling my name. Do you need a ride home, Tim? ”

“Actually, you probably have a plastic trophy with the title ‘ walking dictionary’ waiting for you.” Jay blinked, so Tim elaborated, “We have the cast party in like… thirty minutes. Remember?” 

“Oh. Right, forgot about that.” 

Younger Bruce frowned, “If you’re tired, Jay–”

“I’m fine.” He spun his keys, “We have enough time to hit the gas station. We’ll just buy a pack of Zestis or something.” 

“Would you like me to drive you two?”

Jay rolled his eyes, “I won’t fall asleep at the wheel if that’s what you’re insinuating.” He turned to Jason, older Dick and Older Bruce, “Thanks for coming. I know you guys have been busy.” 

“Anytime squirt.”

 Jay turned to younger Dick, “Are you leaving for New York tonight or tomorrow?”

Dick opened his arms for an embrace, “Tonight. I gotta work tomorrow. April?”

Jay grinned as he returned the hug, “You bet. I already have a list of–”

Dick pulled away, “Alright, nerd, save it for later or I’ll forget come tour time.” He turned to Tim, “It was nice to finally meet you, by the way.”

Tim grinned, “We actually have met before this, but yeah.” He looked at the group as a whole, “It was nice meeting all of you.”

“Bye guys.” Jay limped slightly on his first step, but then caught a better rhythm.

Bruce being Bruce did catch the limp, concern spread across younger Bruce’s face, “Jason?”

“Yeah, D–dad?” Jay looked back, seemingly surprised at how easily the D word came out. He glanced at Jason in panic, before blinking and looking back at Bruce with hesitation. 

Bruce wasn’t expecting it either, based on his bewildered expression, like he had been handed a great honor of being called ‘Dad’. “Have fun, son.” The words flowed like water out of his mouth. Like that’s all he’s been wanting to say. “And drive safely. I don’t want to have to explain to the Drakes why their kid was in a car accident.”

Jay grinned “Puh-lease, I’m a better driver than Dick and you know it.”

Tim side eyed him, “You drive like a grandma.”

“Hush, little freshman. Safer is better than faster.” Jay took two more steps towards the exit, but turned back and surged towards Bruce, who immediately returned the hug, mumbling something into his hair. Something he couldn’t hear from where he was standing, but could see the way Alfred seemed to lock away the moment to treasure. The way younger Dick’s face flashed with something wistful, but then turned into a proud little smile. 

It twisted something in Jason’s stomach. Part of him wanted to look at his Bruce. Try to piece together what he’s thinking. The other part forced him to look anywhere else. Not towards Jay and Bruce, not towards his Bruce, anywhere else.

He turned to the wall Jay was zoning out on early, only to come face to face with a giant lavender cancer ribbon, with a QR code to a donation center. No wonder Jay was zoned out on it earlier. It probably reminded him of Mami.

He traced a hand over the silky fabric.

God, he hopes Tim and Babs get their signal soon.

Jay and Tim were currently sitting in the warmth of Jay’s car, sipping on their Zestis while waiting in the venue’s parking lot. They were about 15 minutes early, and the only person in there was the music director, who was nice, but one on one conversations with her were kinda awkward, so they decided to wait for more people to show up.

Tim was talking about gossip he’d heard while mic-ing up some of his castmates, and Jay was trying his hardest to pay attention, but he couldn’t ride the adrenaline high anymore. He was sore all over in addition to the ache that refused to leave his knee. He’s starting to think he seriously ruined something in it. Which was so dumb because he hasn’t been out as Robin in almost a month, yet this morning his knee was all red and slightly swollen. The compression sleeve apparently wasn’t doing its job.  

He rested the Zesti on his knee, letting the coolness numb the pain. If anything it made it feel worse.

Tim leaned back on the headrest, “So… your cousin. Peter.”

Jay groaned. He knew that bald face lie didn’t fly at all. “Ya know what? I know you know. Let's just stop pretending.” He really just… didn’t have the energy to come up with a lie.

“Well, there goes plausible deniability.” Tim took a sip of his Zesty, “There’s no way that was supposed to be you. He’s too tall.”

Jay massaged the area right below his kneecap, “He died when he was fifteen and then came back to life. Dick said he spent time with the League of Assassins and possibly took a dip in a cursed fountain of youth. So that's probably why he's tall. Magical growth hormones.”

“Fuck.” Tim looked out into the parking lot, “That seems like the lottery of trauma.” He turned back to Jay with a shit eating grin, “Maybe you should go for a swim. Grab a couple feet of height.”

“Don’t go shaming me for being short. Alternate reality Dick said you stop growing at 5 '6”.”

He frowned, “How would they even know me?”

“I dunno, Tim.” Jay still didn’t understand the logic of letting another kid be Robin after the last one died in the suit. (He snooped and found the comic books in Jason’s room, and he had said it was pretty much scene for scene how he died.) Obviously, he didn’t know the context behind most of the things that happened in their universe, and it was a lot, so he just… tried not to dwell on it. 

“Do normal Bruce and Dick know I know?”

Jay nodded.

“Can I see the batcave?”

He just side eyed Tim.

The next morning, Jason, Dick, Bruce and Bruce were all sitting around the table eating breakfast, when Jay came down with eyebags to rival Bruce’s and flushed skin.

He made eye contact with Jay, who’s eyes began to look glossy, but he blinked a couple times, before sitting in his seat. 

Well, Jay’s definitely sick, but not missing school for anything. He never did.

“Master Jason, are you feeling alright?”

He looked in the general direction of where Alfred was, giving him a slight nod, before looking back at his bowl. Jay picked up his spoon, and began pushing it around, when his eyes started to droop and–

Jason caught Jay by the forehead before he could face plant into his oatmeal. 

Then he frowned and placed the back of his hand to Jay's forehead, glancing at younger Bruce and then Alfred, “I think he has a fever.”

Bruce placed the back of his hand on Jay's cheek, “Hm. 100.7.”

Jay blinked lazily at Bruce, “‘m fine.”

“You’ve had a lot going on this week. Maybe you should rest.”

“I’m…” Jay trailed off, eyes turning glossy again, so he buried them in his palms, “I’m so tired.”

“I know. Alfred, could you call the school? And Lucius?” Bruce accepted a damp cloth from Dick, placed it around Jay’s neck, and smoothed back his hair, “Why don’t you try to finish your food and then you can go back to bed.”

Jay just nodded and picked up his spoon.

Jay’s fever was slowly rising throughout the day, causing younger Bruce to slowly become more and more frantic because Jay refused to take any form of medication. Now that Jason really thought about it, despite the couple times he has gotten sick, he’s never gotten a fever while living in the manor. 

Currently, Jason was trying to read, but younger Bruce was looking through the shelves that held Thomas Wayne’s old medical textbooks, but they didn’t seem to have what Bruce was looking for. He pulled out a couple herbology books and went to sit in the armchair closest to Jason.

“Bruce, Alfred already gave Jay pansy tea with ginger and lemon.” That’s like, the first natural remedy you find on a mommy blog.

“His fever is at 102.6, now.”Still Bruce continued to flip through the pages, “When Dick was younger, his fevers never got this high. He’d take the ibuprofen and be better the next day, but Jason just won’t take it. I tried, Alfred tried, even Dick tried.” Bruce suddenly had a look on his face that meant he had a Batman idea. 

Jason threw his pack of post-its at Bruce, “Don’t you dare drug him. He’ll immediately know and then won’t trust you, and then he won’t eat anything for the next couple days, and that’s worse.” Bruce buried his head in his hands.

Jason closed his book and rested his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands, “Do you have those single seal packs?” He knew the answer would be no. In a family of vigilantes, it’s easier to buy painkillers in bulk, which always makes something twist in Jason’s stomach. The bottles are easier to lace with other substances. Though the single seal ones are more expensive. 

Bruce stood up and looked at Jason, “Do you think he will take them?”

Jason thought about it for a moment. The single seal painkillers were the only type he kept in his first aid kit, but most of the time it was Dick, Tim, or Steph using them. The only time he’s taken them was that one time he got sepsis, and it was a joint effort from Steph and Dick to actually get him to take them. “I’m not sure… but he’s more likely to take them with the sealed packaging. I could try to convince him, but I’m not gonna push it.” It would be pretty hypocritical. 

Bruce was already gone. 

So that’s how Commissioner Gordon feels.

Jason picked his book back up and continued reading. Not thirty minutes later, Jay limped into the library, wearing his blankets like a cape, and he sat down right next to Jason, using him as a human shield, from Bruce who was on his tail.

“Jason please, if your fever gets any worse, we’ll have to–”

Jason motioned for him to put the medicine and glass of water on the table. Bruce relented, and to his credit, didn’t complain, when Jason waved him off, but Jason was certain that he was going to sit outside the library doors. 

Jay sighed in relief, “Finally. Some me time.”

“Uhuh, and what does that make me?” Jason asked while flipping a page.

Jay frowned at him, but apparently didn’t see the give Jason a response, so he continued to read. He could feel Jay’s eyes on him, but considering how sick he currently was, Jason assumed he zoned out, “Did you overheat over there? Maybe three blankets are too many.”

Jay kicked off two of the blankets, and immediately started shivering like a chihuahua.

“Jason, I need a response. If a fever gets too high, it can cause brain damage.”

Jay pulled his blanket around himself tighter, “Shuddup– you’re not real.”

Jason was about to retort back with an ouch, I feel pretty real , when a smaller shivering Jay superimposed onto Jay’s shivering figure. One, who in his last moments thought that Jason was his Papi, because he was so out of it.

So… Jay probably thought he was a hallucination. Though his fever wasn’t high enough for one. It was, however, high enough for confusion, and he’s not going to actively pretend to be Papi, but he wasn’t going to correct Jay until he explicitly said something about it.

“You should take the medicine. It’s the good kind too. Name brand and all that.”

Jay shook his head, “No.”

“Ok.” And yeah, maybe Jason eased up way too quickly, but he could always go back to that point. Or use reverse psychology. Whatever makes more sense in the moment. 

He continued reading, while Jay continued to shiver and stare, “What book are you reading?”

“The Chronicles of Narnia.” The spine was worn, not too much, but that perfect amount where you could easily flip the pages. It was a hardback, and there were post-it notes on the pages that his favorite scenes or lines were on. “I know it’s more of Mami’s thing, but would you like me to read to you?”

Jay nodded.

Jason flipped back to the beginning of ‘Prince Caspian’ and started to read out loud. Three chapters in, Jay started listing towards the side, until his head brushed Jason’s shoulder, and he shot back up in confusion.

Jason rolled his eyes, “Yes I’m real. You should probably take the medicine if you thought I was a hallucination. It’s in single seal packaging, so it’s unlikely that it’s been tampered with.”

“No.” Jay grabbed one of the pillows on the couch and placed it on Jason’s lap, before resting his head on the pillow. “Continue reading.”

So he did, and he found himself carding his fingers through Jay’s hair, just like Mami used to do with him. Now that he thinks about it, he thinks they read the entire Chronicles of Narnia while Mami got her chemo. He was young at the time. He only really remembers reading the series in the manor, but every time he reads the books, something melancholy settles in his chest. He always thought it was because the Pevensies died, but… maybe it’s because it reminds some part of him of her.

He heard Jay’s breath catch, and nothing really exciting was currently happening in the book. Then it hitched again and–

Oh shit, he was crying. Jason made him cry. Bruce is gonna kill him. But also, Jay’s fever was probably up to 103 by now, so it could hardly be Jason’s fault.

“What’s wrong?”

Jay sniffed and wiped the tears from his eyes, “Nothin’.” He took in a shaky breath, “I was just thinking about Mami.” it came out pretty even, and Jason was about to start reading again, when Jay just started sobbing.

Fuck. What was he supposed to do? He wishes Dick was here. He’d know what to do. Jason rubbed little circles into Jay’s shoulder, “Hey, it’s ok. I still miss her too.”

“No– It’s not– you don’t–” He started sobbing harder, “I’m sick .”  

Jason pressed the back of his hand to Jay’s temple, “I’m not Bruce, but I’m pretty sure your fever has continued to rise.” 

“Fuck.” Jay looked like he was about to say something else, but he sat up abruptly and grabbed the box of Motrin. He wiped the tears from his eyes, and carefully inspected the box for any indication it could be tampered with. Then he set it back down on the table, rubbing the palm of his hand into his knee.  “I’m really sick .” His eyes began to water again, “I don’t– I can’t– not like Mami.”

Jason focused on the small little box on the table, “It was only bad when it didn’t come from a safe place. Bruce probably got that from a fancy Bristol CVS. And the fancy Bristol CVS had to get it from Texas. On an FDA-audited cGMP-certified site. It’s not Hydrocodine, and it’s only this once. Just to bring down your fever.”

Jay stared at Jason. Like he was debating telling him something, but then his expression hardened, “You don’t get it.” He sniffed, “Of course you don’t get it. She wasn’t your mom.”

It was scathing and did its job at picking at the scab wound that Jason never really had the chance to heal. It made Jason want to spit back a retort equally as cruel, “She might not have been my mom by blood, but she also raised me. And I know for a fact that she didn’t raise you to use her name in a vain argument just to get someone off your back because you’re anxious about taking a pill.” He stood up to leave, but paused, “I’m not forcing you to do or take anything, but I will say, if you don’t take the fever reducers, you’ll have to go to the ER.”

Jay seemed to pale at that, and eyed the box, “Can…can you stay?”

He rolled his eyes and sat back down, also staring at the box. 

He counted to 84 before Jay finally picked up the packaging again. 73 as he inspected the box once more. Then another 57 before he actually opened the thing. Jay slid the plastic tray that held the individual pills out of the box. Where he just stared at it.

Jason wasn’t going to rush Jay. Hell, it probably took Jason longer just to open the box when he had sepsis.

Jay took a deep breath in and broke off the little square. He held his breath for a count of eight as he peeled back the foil that sealed the tablet in, and breathed out on a count of eight while keeping his eye on the pill like it might explode.

Jason was square breathing right alongside the kid. And he wasn’t even the one taking the damn thing. He’s the least qualified person under this roof to be doing this. “You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.”

Jay glared at Jason, and popped the tablet in his mouth. Panic immediately filled Jay’s face as he realized what he was about to do.

Jason grabbed the glass of water on the table and handed it to Jay, “Wash it down, wash it down.” 

Jay chugged the glass of water. Once he was finished with it, he leaned back and rested the glass on his cheek, like an ice pack.

Not two seconds later, younger Bruce walked in, “I’m so proud of you, Jay.” Bruce went to give Jay a hug, but he stood up and staggered out of the Library. 

Bruce frowned and went to follow Jay, but Jason grabbed his arm, “Stop hovering.”

“I’m not hovering.” Jason gave him a look, and Bruce sat down and sighed “Ok, fine. Though can you blame me for worrying?”

“Yes.” Jason was just going to leave it at that, but then he added, “He’s 16. He’s not going to appreciate you hovering. There are going to be times where he needs you like water, but if– hmm… it’s kinda like a plant. If you overwater it, it wilts, if you underwater it, it shrivels up. But if you water it the right amount…”

“It blooms.”

Jason nodded, “Usually, you seem to be doing a good job at riding that middle line of letting Jason know you’re there if he needs you. I mean, he did call you Dad yesterday– but right now, you’re overwatering. Wait at least 30 minutes.”

“Ok.” Bruce nodded, “That’s a really good analogy, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Jason grinned, “If you’re planning on writing a parenting book, quote me.”

That weekend, after his fever had broken, Jay let Tim into the batcave.

To start his Robin training.

Did Bruce know that? No. Did Tim know that? Also no. But the only thing keeping Jay from officially hanging up the cape was the thought of leaving Bruce without someone to protect his six. Obviously there was Helena Bertilini and Stephanie Brown, but Bruce didn’t trust them. Not in the same way he trusted him or Dick. And Selena mostly stuck to Crime Alley. 

He needs to have his affairs in order, and Robin was the biggest object. 

Jay probably would’ve chosen Stephanie to take up the mantle. She seems to have that Robin sparkle, and kinda reminds him a bit of Dick. Caring and kind, but not to be underestimated because she does have an aggressive streak. Not that Jay ever did underestimate her. But her dad did. And now he’s in Blackgate. She’d actually be a really good Robin, considering she's already out some nights fighting crime, and she’s proven herself to be really smart. But she doesn’t know their secret identities and Tim does.

Pros and cons. Mainly pros.

Jay has seen her a couple of times around school. Though he’s interacted with her more as Spoiler and Robin rather than Stephanie and Jason. She’s a year older than Tim, but he skipped a grade so they were both freshmen… “Hey Tim. Do you know a Stephanie Brown?” 

Currently, they were running a simulation under the guise of fooling around, but Jay was trying to assess where Tim’s skill level was currently at. Another pro about Tim is that apparently he’s been taking martial arts classes for a while, and was already pretty good at fighting. Not vigilante good, but better than your average person.

“Yeah. She’s in my geometry class– aw… shit!” a holographic mugger had stabbed him in the gut, causing the simulation to end for him. “And my world history class. What about her?”

Jay finished off the rest of the muggers and smirked, “Nothin’.” He made sure to keep his breathing even, “I was just tryna distract ya.” not quite. He put the name in Tim’s mind, and now, he’d keep an eye out for her. 

Tim gave him a deadpan look, as he flopped on the floor “For Gotham’s physical manifestation of hope, you sure are a dick.”

That made Jay grin, “All I’m hearin’ is that I’m great at my job. Almost like the original.”

“Please. With your sloppy ass flips, you’re not even close to being Dick Grayson.”

Jay carefully lowered himself onto the floor and brought his right knee to his chest, “At least a nine year old with a hyperfixation won’t figure out my secret identity.”

That seemed to get Tim to pause, and flip him off. “You know what will give your secret identity away?”

“If this is the point where you betray me, I’m going to kill myself before Bruce does with his lecture about trusting people.”

Tim clutched his fake pearls in offense, “Do you truly think so little of me? No. I was going to say your premature grays.”

That got Jay scrambling for his phone. When was the last time he touched up his roots? Wait– he did it the night before opening night, “You contemptible human splotch, I touched up my roots a week ago! This is why your parents don’t love you.”

“I’m an angel in my parents' eyes. They love me. Can you say the–” Tim cut himself off when he realized what he was about to say.

“The entirety of Gotham thinks I’m an angel.” 

Tim smirked and pointed up, “Angel Robin.”

He knew Tim was referencing Jason’s death, but it made something twist in his stomach. He shook his head, “What are you talkin’ about? He’s Jesus Robin. Duh.”

Jay was right about the whole ‘placing Stephanie’s name into Tim’s head so he’d hang out with her’ thing. Except he was right in the wrong way, because apparently Tim had gotten her snap and they were ‘talking’ . Tim ‘talks’ to a lot of people. At the same time. So that kind of makes things a bit messy… but it’s ok. He’ll work it out. Mainly, it’s for him to create a real world connection with her if she ever needs someone. Because he knows Bruce, and if it seems like Jay was close to her before he– no. He might not, he might– quits. Before he quits, he might trust Spoiler to be more of an ally. 

Hopefully.

So there Robin was, waiting on a fire escape in the Burrows that’s near a diner Spoiler’s known to frequent. He could’ve waited on the roof of her house, but that would be too intimidating. This way it’s more casual.

He heard the fire escape rattling above him and knew it was her coming down. Batman would be much more silent.

“Hi there Robin. I see you gotchur big boy pants on.”

“Thanks. They have pockets.” While technically, it was warm enough for him to go back to wearing the green shorts with flesh colored tights underneath, he was wearing green cargo pants to hide the compression sleeve he had on his knee. He still hasn’t told Bruce about it, and he intends to keep it that way until he has all his affairs organized. “I gotcha some waffles. Ya don’t havta eat ‘em now.” He handed the to-go bag to her.

“I’m not complainin’ ‘bout free food.” she paused and looked around, “Is the Bat with ya? Is this supposed to be a trap?”

“Nah, the Bat’s in Burnley.” He played with the straw of his milkshake.

 “Gotcha, gotcha.” She nodded, taking the box out of the bag, and lifted her mask over her mouth, “So, Boy Wonder, what brings ya here this time? Epic team up? Soon we’ll be more popular than you and your boss.”

Jay gave her a small smile, “Nah. I just wanted to talk with ya. I dunno, there’s not many heroes our age.”

“And how d’ya know I’m not… 37.”

He slurped his milkshake in response. 

Spoiler put her fork down and tilted her head in exasperation, “Robin, this is how you get groomed.”

He paused, “How old do you think I am?”

“I dunno, 12? 13? You’re kinda short for a 13 year old, though.”

Jay slowly nodded. He might’ve had a growth spurt recently, but he was still only 5’4”. “I’m older than you think, Barney. And, I know you’re around my age because Batman’s kinda a stalker. Sorry.”

She turned to look down over the streets, “Is that why you’re here? To apologize for your creepy old man’s behavior and then stick me in juvie for vigilantism?”

“That would be pretty hypocritical.” he dangled his feet over the edge of the fire escape, also looking down. If he was higher up and he fell, he would go splat and everything would stop. That would surely be easier. “And no, that's not the reason I’m here.” He dug out a slip of paper from his pocket. “That has my number on it. Batman doesn’t really trust you, but I do. If you ever need anything, whether that be better gear, someone to help clean up some bad guys, or just someone to talk to, feel free to shoot me a text.” He went to stand up, “You’re Robin approved. Don’t forget that.” And he grappled away.

According to Dick, something was off about Jay. Yeah, sure, maybe the kid was spending a lot more time in his room and lowkey self isolating, but “He probably wants some time to himself. We’ve been staying with them for over a month, and we’re practically strangers. Not to mention, he’s just getting over another fever.” It was weird. They happened within a month of each other. And Jason considered himself to have a pretty good immune system. He’d only get seriously sick, once every couple years.

Dick frowned at the plate he’d set down, “I don’t think that’s it.”

“Ok… then what do you think is off?” Jason placed the water pitcher in the center of the table.

Dick stayed silent as he gathered his thoughts until they finished setting up the table and then he motioned towards the porch. “Ok.” He started as soon as he shut the door behind them, “I haven’t talk to either of the Bruces about this yet, because it’s… it’s–” He clamped his mouth shut, and took in a breath through his nose, “Fuck, this is so much easier to talk about with strangers.”

So this was probably something really serious. Like, spilling things to a stranger is easy because you don’t know them, but as soon as you try to say the same things to someone you have a history with… 

Dick pursed his lips, “Ok, so, remember back in the fifth reality we went to, when, um, we were at your grave?”

“...yes?” That was honestly the second least traumatizing Death of Jason they’d experienced throughout their whole trip. “What about it?”

His knee started bouncing up and down, but then he straightened up, and stilled himself. “I’ve been thinking of something you said when we were there, and I was planning on talking about it once we got home, but now I feel like it kinda relates to what I’m feeling is off with Jay.” Dick looked Jason square in the eyes. The look was like steel, yet it was filled with so much apprehension, that Jason couldn’t break away. “You said you’re supposed to be dead . Which, I don’t believe to be true at all. You came back for a reason. A reason those higher entities who call you a mistake don’t even know, which makes them fear you.”

“Dick–”

“Let me finish. I’m not going to push this conversation now. I’m not going to push it if you don’t want to have the conversation ever. Just know I’m here for you if you need me. I’ve had my fair share of issues too.”

He looked out to the rose bushes that were still bare due to the late March temperature fluctuations.That… that was a lot to unpack, but he did say they could unpack it later, or never, so he focused on the bigger issue, “I… don’t think I see how this relates to Jason.” 

“Yes you do.”

“Ok, I don’t see why you’re asking me .” He shifted so his entire body was facing Dick, “I wasn’t able to be 16 years old. For all we know, they could literally be mood swings. For me, the highs have always felt like I could touch the moon, and the lows were like falling into the Mariana trench.” He drummed his fingers on the armrest, “I get you’re concerned, but also, Jay has goals that are a lot clearer than the dream I refused to let myself believe in before I died. He knows he has a place here. He wouldn’t give all that up.”

“You really think so?” 

Jason paused. The memory of why Gloria Stanson hanging in her room had felt like it ripped something out of him and shoved something in. Because there were certain parts of his time on the streets that he refused to remember. And her hanging there because of what Garzonas had done to her–

It forced him to remember.

And not in the way he remembered while running into the people he worked for. Those people had made something under his skin crawl in a way that had him scrubbing his skin raw.

Gloria had reminded him of it in vivid detail. And he remembered watching Garzonas fall, wondering if the splat would make everything finally stop so he could catch up. 

But they were just intrusive thoughts. He would’ve never acted on them. 

Right?

Intrusive thoughts are probably what runs through his brain the most ever since his dip in the Lazarus pit, but he’s never acted on them.

There was a knock on the door, before Alfred opened it, “Supper is ready, Masters.”

They walked back inside to wash their hands before sitting down at the table with Bruce, Bruce and Jay.

Jay who… looked thinner than when they’d first met. Whose eyes seemed to have bags that could rival Bab’s. Whose skin appeared to be dull, even though he’s been recovered from his second fever for a week and a half.

He looked to Dick, who was giving him a barely there ‘ see what I mean?’ look.

Jason piled some more food onto Jay’s plate, “You gotta eat more, kid. Otherwise you’ll never be as tall as me.”

Jay grimaced for a second before masking it behind a neutral mask, and turned to look Jason in the eyes, “You had a Lazarus Pit.” he pushed around some vegetables on his plate, “‘sides, I wasn’t plannin’ on it. Growin’ wrong sucks.” he barely mumbled under his breath.

Younger Bruce was talking to older Bruce, and Alfred, but Dick definitely heard, because some of the blood rushed from his face.

Jason looked back to Jay, “What? What do you mean?”

A flurry of emotions flashed over Jay’s face before settling on a glare, and standing up, “You’re an idiot and you don’t know nothin’.” and stormed out.

Jason pushed his chair out to follow, but Dick stopped him, “I’ll go.” and just like that, he was gone.

Younger Bruce frowned, “What’s the matter?”

Jason just shrugged, “Nothin’.”

Jay stopped, taking a break halfway up the stairs, heart pounding in his ears. Jason figured it out. Of course he figured it out. He knew he was going to figure it out first and that’s exactly why he’d been avoiding him. Now Jason was going to tell Bruce, and it was going to ruin all of his plans and they’re all going to treat him differently and–

God, he wants to be able to talk to Mami so bad.

He sat down on the stairs, rubbing the knot that was forming under his sturnum. Bruce was going to find out eventually. He just wanted to tell him about it once he had all of his affairs in place. He wanted to tell him when he was ready to.

Dick sat down next to him. Seemingly not keen on filling the silence with anything.

Honestly, Jay was pretty sure that Dick would’ve gone ghost for a couple hours after learning. At least he was sure that’s what his brother Dick would do. Then he’d come back and insist they watch a lousy reality TV show together. 

Honestly, this Dick was pretty diffent from his brother. Still the same person fundamentally, but a lot more mature. Which made sense, considering he was like… 30.

Jay held himself as stiff as cardboard. Waiting for Dick to say something like ‘I’m so sorry,’ or ‘We’re going to help you get better.’

“You know, you and Dick seem a lot closer than my Jason and I were when he was Robin.”

Jay shrugged, not knowing where this was going, “You’re a busy person. I get it. I’m pretty sure your Jason gets it too…” He pulled his knee to his chest, and turned his head to look at Dick, “I’m assuming he told you guys?”

Dick pursed his lips, “No. I actually told him, but we haven’t told Bruce yet.”

There was a short burst of relief that morphed into guilt, “Why would you tell Jason?” He placed his forehead on his knee. It’s rule number one of telling people about heavy experiences they’ve seen happen to their parents at a young age.

He could feel the guilt radiating off of Dick, “I’m sorry. I just… I wanted to make sure before I jumped to conclusions, and considering you and Jason have similar experiences–”

“We don’t? I mean, technically, genetically, we’re not even the same person.”

Dick paused, “Wait, what are you talking about?”

Jay lifted up his head, “What are you talking about?”

“I thought… you were depressed. Like… dangerously so.”

The knot under his sternum unraveled, “I don’t want to die! I wanna have a life. I want to live . God, I just started to actually let myself live, why would I give all this up on purpose?” If he had a choice he’d live a long healthy life, “Sometimes the PTSD catches up to me. That’s all. Bruce and I, we have a system for when things get harder to deal with. Babs is also working on a Therapy AI for the Justice League, the Titans, and any other heroes who might need it. I’m currently the Guinea Pig, but it’s helped me sort through some things. All she needs to work on is making sure everything stays confidencial and can’t be hacked.”

He could feel the tension dissipate from Dick, “Then what did you mean by ‘you weren’t planning on growing’. ”

He banged his forehead against his knee grasping for strings, “Growing bones suck.” he finally settled on. Cus they do.

Dick slowly nodded, “Growing pains?”

That… was actually a sturdy rope, “Yeah.” It would buy him the time that he needs and provide an excuse, “But also, I know I probably won’t grow much more. Maybe an inch or two. Childhood malnutrition’s a major setback.” and maybe if he wasn’t finally shooting up, his bones wouldn’t be as dilapidated. “It’s just been a busy couple of months, and I think everything’s finally catching up to me. I’m ok, though, and I do realize I could’ve worded that better.”

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions.” he laughed, “Some detective I am.”

“Yeah.” some detectives, alright.

Jay had just finished taking out some would-be rapist with Spoiler. He cuffed the unconscious man to the nearest lamp post as Spoiler consoled the woman.

Something was bubbling under his chest. It was dread, it was ire, it was– something inside him that refused to heal. That kept growing and growing and growing and–

He realized he’d fully zoned out while helping Stephanie walk the woman home, and now she was leading them to the old playground that had long since been known for child traffickers. 

They both sat on the two tire swings, in silence until Jay said, “Ya know, the first time I met the Bat, I was boostin’ his tires.”

She let out a surprised laugh, “What? You stole Batman’s tires.”

He offered her a tired smile, “Yeah. It’s not a story I get to tell often. Seein’ as, ya know, secret identities. He caught me of course. Cus he’s Batman, but I hit him with the tire iron and ran away. I didn’t even get all four.”

Stephanie was full on laughing at that point, “Now all I can picture is a scrawny little eight year old hitting Batman in the ankles and calling him a loser.”

“I actually called him ‘ a big boob’ . And I was twelve. Again, I’m older than you think.”

Stephanie tilted her head, doing the math, “And you’ve been Robin, for what, three years? You’re 15?”

“16.” He corrected, “I’ll be 17 in August.” Jay looked up to the moon. It was full tonight, and he bets the gravity of it was causing the throbbing in his knee to be unbearable, “It’s a pretty good retirement age, doncha think?”

Stephanie looked at him, “Jesus Christ you’re short.” She also looked up at the moon, “Ya know, there’s a rumor that Nightwing was the old Robin. Same flips, same jokes. Knows the lay of the land.”

Jay scooted the swing so he was a bit closer to Steph and whispered, “Between you and me, that rumor’s right, but don’t tell anyone.” he let go and the swing started rocking at an angle.

“So, you’re plannin’ on graduating. Gotta new name yet?” She timed the swing so that they were in sync, “Am I gonna see ya around, or are ya gonna leave for New York like Big Blue?”

“Nah, like I said, I’m retirin’. Hanging up the cape. I haven’t told Batman yet though. I just wanted to let ya know just so you’re not blind sided if there’s a new Robin after me.”

“I’ve never heard of a superhero retirin’.” They swung in silence for a minute, “Are you dyin’ or somethin’? Is this the last time I’m gonna see you?”

A low ringing filled Jay’s hearing, “Hopefully not.” 

“...To which question?”

“Madame Eggplant, your questions are startin’ to lean into the ‘too personal’ side.” He looked at the bench Mami used to sit at as Papi helped him on the monkey bars, “Besides, you have my number. If ya miss me too badly, just call.” He leaned his head against the rope, “I’ll try to see if my boss’ll let me spill the beans on who I am.”

“I think Gotham’s gonna miss you, Boy Wonder.”

He looked back to the moon with a rueful smile, “I’ll miss her too.”

Ok, so, Tim was coming pretty far in his training, Stephanie has his number and knows to expect a new Robin, so now all that’s left is to tell Bruce he’s retiring. Four week notice. His week with the Titans would be his official last week as Robin.

Now how he goes about that… that’s the real question. 

Currently they were busting a drug trafficking ring. Batman and Robin. The dynamic duo. As they should.

Did each kick send a throb through Jay’s leg? Yes. Did every flip make him want to crumple into a ball, cradle his knee tight to his chest and cry? Yes. Though he had a job to do. He could cry about the pain later. And who knows. Maybe it would just go away on its own.

He knows that’s not how it works.

Robin took out the last goon in his corner of the warehouse, searching around the place for any more threats. Batman was also done and cuffing up all the goons.

“Are you alright, Robin?”

Jay controlled his heavy breathing and nodded, “Yeah.” He walked over to the crates, making sure to keep the weight on both his legs even. 

He paused, hands resting against the closest crate. God, he was so tired . 

“Robin?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good, B.” but he couldn’t put enough strength in the words. They trailed off at the end. So he pulled a batarang out of one of his pockets and pried open the crate.

Explosives?

He walked around the crates and– “Bomb. Batman there’s a bomb. Twelve minutes 53 seconds.”

“Evacuate the building.” Batman threw an unconscious goon over each of his shoulders in a fireman’s carry.

Jay hoisted a dazed goon to his feet and encouraged him up, supporting most of his weight. And that was their system. Bruce carrying the unconscious ones and Jay dragging the ones who were barely there.

Except he could barely support himself with his bad knee, much less grown men who were double his size and weight. Still he pushed through. There were people’s lives on the line. They were only working these jobs because they needed the money. They didn’t deserve to die a fiery death.

His right leg was numb with pain, and his left leg buzzed in exhaustion. He could feel his heart pounding in his temples and sweat trickle down his neck.

This was the last person. He could see the safety of Batman’s cape in front of him, moving the victims further from the blast radius. He was almost there.

Then the world went bright behind him. He tackled the person he was holding to the ground, covering both of them in as much of his cape as possible.

A blast of hot–burning air– swept through his hair as the crack of the explosion caused his ears to ring. 

“ROBIN!!!”

Jay rolled off the goon as soon as he was sure the explosions were done, because he was 90% sure he was on fire.

A dark fabric kept batting at his head. 

Something wrapped around his upper arm, and pulled him up into a seated position, but he immediately pulled away. No way was he getting kidnapped. 

Then he looked at who was trying to help him.

“ Dad.” Jay leaned his head on the bat on his chest. 

Bruce wrapped his arms tighter around Jay, and planted a kiss on his forehead, “Don’t… don’t ever scare me like that again. Do you hear me?”

He barely could, because his ears were ringing, but he nodded, “Then you’ll be thrilled to hear that I’m handin' in my four week notice.” 

Bruce let out a sigh, “ Thank God.”

Huh. Apparently it wasn't that hard.

Ever since Dick told Jason that he had just jumped to conclusions, Jason couldn’t help but feel a surge of vindication, because of course he knows himself best.

Except, he knew himself best, and there was something wrong.

Obviously, the kid almost got blown up a couple days ago, but other than the singed hair, and fussing over how he can apply burn cream himself (which, makes sense), like Dick said, something was off . The weight loss, the dull skin, the visible exhaustion. It was like something was sucking the life out of Jay.

Nope. He’s not allowed to think like that. Positive thinking attracts positive vibes.

They were all currently down in the cave, debating on whether or not they should amplify the beacon’s signal, or just make their own interdimensional machine. They made the beacon because they didn’t expect to be in this reality for as long as they had been.

He glanced at Jay who was sitting on a stool, kneading the area right below his knee, seemingly zoned out. Jason backed out of the circle he, Bruce, Bruce, and Dick were in to lean against the table next to Jay, “You ok?”

Jay sat up straight, “Yeah. Just… growing pains.”

Jason nodded. He remembers having those when Alfred’s meal plan started to actually prove fruitful. He also remembers freaking out whenever his elbows ached because he was afraid he’d have an x-ray come back and show he had a tumor just like Mami. Obviously, that was before he realized he didn’t have a genetic disposition to cancer. Not like–

No. He’s probably over thinking. 

“If you want, I can show you some stretches I usually do when my chronic pain flares up.”

Jay frowned, “Right now?”

He shrugged, “If you want.”

Jay looked to where Dick and the Bruces were pointing out the pros and cons of building a new interdimensional machine when time could just be moving differently across realities. “Yeah, sure, why not.”

They moved towards the mats, where they started with basic standing stretches– hands to toes, heel to glutes, knee to chest– then the sitting ones– sit and reach, one while flexing their ankles and the other while pointing their toes. 

Then Jason instructed Jay to go on his knees for child's pose. A crackle came from Jay’s knee, as his eyes widened and he immediately shifted his weight to extend his leg in front of him.

That… that wasn’t the pop of joints letting out an air bubble. That was the sound of a bone breaking. 

But that was nothing– bones don’t break just by putting weight on them. 

Unless…

The weight loss, the exhaustion, the fevers, the bone pains–

‘I’m really sick’ ‘I can’t– not like Mami’ ‘she wasn’t your mom’ ‘growing wrong sucks’

He opened his mouth to call for Bruce, but a hand was suddenly clamped over it, “I’ll explain in the medbay?”

Jason hoisted Jay to his feet as gently as possible, while still being firm about it, closing the medbay doors behind them and hoisting Jay up onto the cot, “How long?”

Jay tilted his head, “Has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like Papi when you’re worried.”

“And you look just like Mami when she was sick.” he spat back, “Jesus, kid, how long has your damn knee been hurting?”

“I dunno…”

Jason crossed his arms, “You don’t know.”

“Ok fine. February.” He grimaced, “Maybe at the end of January.”

‘I have no wit, no words, no tears; My heart within me like a stone’

Jason felt the blood drain from his face, “That was two and a half months ago.”

“I didn’t think it was that bad until–” Jay looked at his knee and mumbled, “Until you read to me when I had the first fever.”

 “Ok.” He took in a deep breath, trying to keep himself from yelling, “Ok. You’ve still had about a month to tell Bruce or Alfred.”

“Well I’m so sorry that telling someone felt like it made this all real!”

“Ignoring a tumor doesn’t make it magically disappear!”  

‘Is numb'd too much for hopes or fears; Look right, look left, I dwell alone;’

Jay immediately shrunk at the words, “Well, we both could just be over thinking.”

“You know who’s great at looking at just the facts?” Jason went to open the door, “Bruce!”

“Wait, wait, wait! I just– I’ll tell him, but please , just let me do it on my own time. Please.”

Just then, Younger Bruce and Older Bruce rushed in, “What’s going on?”

Jason opened his mouth to just tell them. It would be the responsible thing to do. 

‘I lift mine eyes, but dimm'd with grief; No everlasting hills I see;’

But then he looked at Jay. Whose eyes were begging him to keep this one secret. Whose eyes were carbon copies of Mami’s.

Jay practically collapsed in relief, “I, uh, dislocated my knee, but don’t worry! Jason set it back in place…”

Younger Bruce’s concern deepened, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It… happened six minutes ago.”

It’s only been six minutes? He feels like it’s been six months. He feels like he’s gone sixteen years in the past.

Bruce turned to Jason, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He was up in his face, he was miles away. He looked back to Jay who was saying something, but Jason couldn’t make it out.

Older Bruce frowned, “Jason, are you alright?”

‘My life is in the falling leaf:’

He held eye contact with Jay. For a millisecond? For an eternity? Why wasn’t the kid answering the question? He was the one who wasn’t ok. He was the one who was sick– who had cancer. It was going to slowly grow and grow until it metastasized and killed him just like–

No, she died from the lack of proper care, and fentanyl and Bruce had enough money to get Jay proper care if he just told him . 

A hand brushed against his elbow, and he pulled away. He headed towards the drawer with the knee braces, pulled out one of the hinged braces, found a pair of crutches and placed them all on the cot where Jay was sitting.

‘O Jesus, quicken me.’

Then he left.

#jason todd #batman #batfam #dc comics #red hood #dick grayson #bruce wayne #tim drake #stephanie brown #robin jason todd #alternate universe #dimensional travel

[gurugirl]

Omg wait I just thought of Anna and Harry from don’t stand so close spoiling their baby for their first Christmas and Harry dresses up as Santa when he puts their presents out even though they’re too young to remember and is all cute and adorable as an experienced dad

-🍊

Thank you anon!! My first request to bring back DSSC Harry and Anna :) I hope you enjoy!!! 2.3k words

A Christmas one shot 🎁🎄🕯️

Warning: Smut & FLUFFFF

Don't Stand So Close Masterlist

Waking to my alarm was unusual. Normally Harry and I would be woken up by a little bouncy bean called James shouting and rambling words in his own made-up language.

I sit up and stretch my arms overhead, yawning. Harry’s not in the bed so my assumption is that he’s got James. Harry and I were up late the night before. James didn’t want to fall asleep. He’s been so excited with all the decorations and presents and lights. But when he finally did, Harry wanted to take advantage of us both being awake at the same time with James asleep. Many nights, one of us will conk out before the other. Whoever is dealing with James being put to bed will usually be the last to sleep.

So we both enjoyed an orgasm before passing out immediately upon Harry rolling off of me. I didn’t even have the energy to clean myself up.

Having a baby is exhausting but delightful.

James’ first Christmas he was too tiny to understand what was going on. But this one he is aware and knows something is exciting. Harry and I have done everything we could to make it magical.

I put my slippers onto my feet and walk into the living area to see Harry and James on the floor near the Christmas tree. Harry lifts his head and looks at me when he becomes aware of me, “Hey baby. Merry Christmas. Come look.”

I walk up behind James and kneel down to see what’s going on. James' chubby hands are holding a wrapped present. The wrapping paper is partly torn and wetted from James gumming and chewing at it. I sit down on my bottom and kiss the top of James' head and then pull at the front collar of Harry’s sweater to bring his mouth to mine. I slip him the quickest bit of tongue and he sputters a laugh when I let go of his collar. I laugh.

“What’s going on James? What have you got sweet boy?” I rub James' back gently and he makes his usual goo-laugh noise and squints his eyes in a joyful smile.

“He picked out that present to open first. I told him he had to wait for mom and he’s been so good.”

Harry and I watch James open up the gift. I honestly don’t even remember which gift this is as he’s working to get the paper off. But James doesn’t quite understand the concept of removing the paper to reveal the gift so Harry and I tear at little bits to help him. Eventually, the gift is on display and James screams in excitement, Harry groans and turns his head, and takes a deep breath. Lately, James has begun screaming at the top of his lungs anytime anything is a little exciting. He thinks it's funny but Harry and I have been trying to get him to not scream. It’s only gotten a bit more frequent, though. Especially during the Christmas holiday with the pretty Christmas tree and the twinkle lights.

I cover his mouth and kiss the top of his head. This only makes James laugh into my palm, his eyes closed in satisfaction at the reaction he drew from us, “James… please baby. That’s too loud,” I speak quietly. Harry squeezes my thigh and shakes his head in defeat.

The gift James opened is a set of play salt and pepper shakers. James has a little kitchen play set that my dad got him for his first birthday and it’s his favorite thing ever. He gets to pretend to be grandpa cooking at the restaurant. Though, I doubt he quite understands it all.

Harry removes the packaging from the toy and hands it to James. He grabs onto my arm to pull himself up, his nails pinching my skin as he does so, and he runs off into his bedroom to play with his kitchen set. I rub my arm and look down at it, “I should trim his nails,” I speak and look up at Harry.

Harry leans down to take my arm in his hand and kisses the spot, “There you go, Mommy.”

I laugh and take Harry’s hand into mine, bringing it up to my lips to kiss, “So sweet, Daddy. Thank you.”

Harry and I just sit for a moment while it’s quiet smiling at one another. It’s astonishing to me how James looks exactly like his father. I’ve seen many pictures of Harry from when he was James’ age and they’re identical. Light curly hair, big green eyes, dimples, a booming voice when excited, and James even has big feet and big hands already for a little guy. His head, hands, and feet are massive, even the doctor agrees.

It’s Christmas morning and today is going to be a busy one. My parents are coming over and they plan to stay the whole evening so we’ve set up the spare room for them. The spare room is actually James’ room now, but we kept the Queen sized bed in there for guests. James' crib bumps up to the foot of the bed.

Tomorrow my parents are taking James to Santa Land. Santa Land is like a little Christmas shop with Christmas trees and toys and decorations everywhere. There will be a man dressed as Santa and some elves and maybe some hot chocolate. We wanted them to wait to take him until after Christmas because hopefully there would be fewer people there. James is wild and active and cheeky. He’s a handful and Santa Land will only have him screaming, crying, running around like a banshee and begging for everything he sees, and then more screaming to top it off when he doesn’t get what he wants. So, for my parent’s sake, I’m hoping it’s not terribly busy.

Harry gets up and holds a finger out, “Forgot!”

I watch him disappear into the kitchen and come back a minute later with two steaming mugs. He sits back down next to me and hands me the hot coffee, “Mmmm… Thank you, my love. Merry Christmas,” I lean into him and kiss his jaw.

“Hope you enjoy it. It’s all you’re getting from me this year,” Harry chuckles at himself and sips his coffee.

I roll my eyes and take a sip. I honestly wouldn’t care if he hadn’t gotten me a single thing. I feel lucky and happy to have Harry in my life. James and Harry are my favorite things in the whole world and I just don’t feel like I need much else.

But, I know he’s gotten me several gifts because they’re under the tree wrapped up with a tag that tells me.

We tag team with James, showering, eating, and picking up all of James’ toys again (that we’d already put away but somehow James had managed to pull out every single toy he owns and scattered them over every inch of the house), washing dishes, and then James is down. He ran full speed, screeches and laughter, toys being tossed at the couch, and suddenly, he laid down and closed his eyes, and began to snooze.

Harry takes James to his crib and closes the door. James will sleep for a solid hour and a half. He’s a deep sleeper so as busy and wild as he is, I have been thankful for his consistent sleep and nap schedule.

I give Harry a hug and kiss his sweater-covered chest and look up at him, “My parents won’t be here for another two hours,” I smile slyly.

Harry puts his hands into my hair and dips down to kiss my forehead, “Is that so? What shall we do with all this free time, my love?”

Normally on a weekday when James goes down for a nap, Harry has already begun work and I’m writing an essay or doing a class assignment. I don’t know what possessed me to go for my Masters while having a one-year-old, but I did, and it’s not easy. But today, Harry and I have no work and no school, and a quiet house.

Harry takes my face into his palms and kisses my lips. Wrapping my arms around his neck I stand to my tippy toes and push myself up to him before he’s dragging me to the couch and climbing over me.

Harry lowers himself between my legs and pulls my leggings down to reveal that I’m not wearing panties. He hums and looks up at me and dives right in. It’s been a couple of weeks since Harry has eaten me out. He always tries for it, he did the night before even, but we’re usually so tired I encourage him to just fuck me so we can go to sleep. Sleep has surpassed sex as vital lately. As much as we both like sex, we’ve grown even more fond of sleep.

But that’s not to say we don’t have sex regularly. We get it on more than most parents, I think. I’ve talked to other moms and hearing about how they shun sex or aren’t in the mood or go without for weeks at a time is totally understandable. But with Harry and I, we’ve found ways to have sex as often as possible. Which isn’t as often as before James, but I’m very well taken care of, as Harry is.

The longest we’ve gone without sex was right after James was born. We waited for five weeks. The doctor said four to six. At four weeks I was ready to jump on his stick but Harry insisted we take one more week just to be safe. It was the quickest round of sex we’d ever had. Harry nutted so fast and I came quickly once he ate me out and then we passed out until James woke us up.

But now, we had some time to kill and Harry’s mouth on my pussy was feeling delicious.

It felt a bit like old times with Harry keeping his eyes on me as he licked up and down. He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together as he lapped away, his free hand holding my thigh down.

Harry still knows exactly what I need and the moment he slurped at my clit was when I couldn’t stop my moans, “Yes! Oh god…”

Harry smiled into my cunt and squeezed my hand as he brought me to orgasm.

I was also back on birth control for the time being. We talked about maybe having another baby but we needed some more time with just us and James before bringing in another little one. Harry’s age, though, is a bit of a concern as well. Technically he can produce sperm and get me pregnant until I’m too old to conceive but sperm production is much less at his age in general. It’s crazy to me how men can stay fertile (even if slightly less fertile) until old age. I had no idea until we had this discussion with our doctor. So, we decided we’d wait a bit. No rush and if we never have another baby that’s okay too.

I sat up and pushed Harry’s face away from my sensitive pussy, “Let me suck you off big guy,” I smiled at him and Harry rolled onto his back, putting his hands behind his head, stuffing a couch pillow under his neck so he could watch.

Harry’s cock is something I’ve gotten used to over the years. Big and long. Taking him down my throat is not as difficult as it was when we first started dating. Now I’m a pro. I still choke and gag, but I’m used to it. And I like it. But I only like it because it’s Harry and he’s worth it.

Harry’s whimpers and moans are my favorite sound. I love making him a mess and the way he looks at me when I’ve got my mouth wrapped around him just makes my heart sing. I don’t think I’ll ever hate giving him a blowjob.

“Baby… please… wanna be inside of you now,” Harry pushes himself up and I bring my mouth off of him.

Harry’s big cock feels so nice inside of me. It’s not long before he’s pounding away into me, my leg dangling off the couch, the wood frame creaking. I’m on my back and Harry’s railing me when he moves my legs to wrap around his waist.

“I’m gonna come, baby… I’m trying to hold it back but I’m so close,” Harry moans as he begins to quiver. I know he’s about to come because not only are his thighs shaking, but his cock is also twitching inside of me. I reach down to press my fingers over my clit and nod at Harry, “Come inside of me, Daddy.”

Harry closes his eyes and groans, his hips smacking into me and I gasp at how hard he’s pressing into me.

Harry starts to come and I feel it. His mouth drops open and he’s silent except for his panting. I speed up my fingers and feel the lightest little zip to my organs and I come with him. It’s not super intense but the orgasm is a sweet little release to top off the first one I had.

He collapses over me and kisses my face, “I love you so much. Such a good wife and a good mommy. Amazing…” Harry speaks his words against my cheeks and my neck where he’s kissing me all over. I laugh and tighten my legs around him and kiss him back.

I turn my head to check the clock and it’s only been twenty minutes since James went down for a nap. Harry lifts his head to look at me and then with a big grin he smiles down at me, “You know what that means?”

I nod as Harry rolls off of me and we both get up to go to our bed, pulling the blankets up over our naked bodies and fall asleep together for a yummy Christmas morning nap.

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Thank you for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like 💕

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#harry styles #xmas blurb #xmas one shot #harry styles smut #harry styles dilf #dilfrry #best friend's dad #dad!harry #daddy!harry #dssc harry #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #firstpost

[rugtopper]

Confessions of a Fetish Barber:  Part II

Confessions On the Road From Vegas to Tahoe

By Rugtopper

"Come on, Danny.  I'd like to get to Richard's place in time for dinner."

Danny locked up Adonis Hair Replacement Salon, and got into the huge SUV.  He leaned over and kissed Sam on the check before he put the key in the ignition.

"You know, Danny, I'm glad you decided to wear that light brown hairpiece of mine.  It looks so good on you," said Sam as he returned Danny's kiss.

"Do you think so?  I thought it might be too light, but I like it," confessed Danny.  "Now, tell me about everyone I'm going to meet at this memorial service."

"You just concentrate on the road, Danny.  I will make sure you know everything you need to know before we get to the memorial service."

"Why is there not a funeral?"

"It was part of Ian's last wishes.  He had suffered for so long with lung cancer.  After it spread to his bones, he just gave up."

"I understand.  Will Troy and Sean be there?"

"No.  They have rented a chalet in Liechtenstein for a month.  They are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"That's right.  They had the most beautiful wedding ceremony in front of the fountains at The Bellagio.  Although, it was a bit bizarre."

" What do you mean, bizarre?  It was gorgeous."

"I only meant it was bizarre because I have never seen so many men with hairpieces in one place.  Well, except for that time you took me to that stylist convention in Phoenix.  Talk about wall to wall carpeting."

"That was a unique event.  Anyway, Troy never knew Ian, and he has never met Richard.  Sean only met Ian once just before he and Richard moved to Lake Tahoe.  I'm afraid there won't be a lot of people at the memorial service.  Ian was 89 years old.  He outlived so many people from his days in Hollywood and in Los Vegas."

"I didn't know Ian was a big star, Sam."

"He wasn't, Danny.  Ian Stuart was the last of the old Hollywood chorus boys.  He started out as a dancer during the heyday of the big movie musicals at MGM.  He lied about his age.  He was six feet tall when he was 16.  When the movie musical genre started dying in the early 1970s, Ian was hired to choreograph shows in Los Vegas.  That's when I met him through my dad.  Ian always wore a very dark brown toupee."

"How did he and Richard meet?"

"It will sound like something out of a romance novel, but Richard orchestrated the whole thing.  Richard auditioned for one of Ian's shows, and then started dating him.  They were together for over 50 years."

"Well, how old is Richard?"

"To tell the truth, I have no idea.  I know he's older than I am, but that's about it.  Richard won't talk about his age.  He won't talk about his hair, which is funny because he has worn a champagne-colored rug for years.  But, he will talk."

"Huh?"

"Richard is the biggest gossip you will ever meet.  Do not tell him anything you wouldn't want to hear a stranger repeat a few hours later at a dinner party!  He will quiz you wanting to know everything about yourself.  The thing is, he genuinely does care.  He just feels he has to share everything he has been told."

"I don't want him to know how we met.  Will he ask about my hair?"

"You can count on it.  He is almost as obsessed with hairpieces as Howard is.  Still, Richard is harmless.  Look Danny, you do what is comfortable for you.  If you don't want to tell Richard how we met, that is fine with me."

"It's been 15 years, I know, but it still bothers me."

"Look Danny, you were drugged, kidnapped, and tortured.  It was awful, but I love you."

"I know Sam.  I know, and I love you, too."

"When you say that, I still look around to see if you're really talking to me."

"What do you mean, Sam?"

"Well, come on Danny.  That guy who drugged you at that bar and took you back to his place.  He hung you upside down with the top of your head in a bucket of turpentine burning the top of your scalp while he raped you.  If that undercover cop hadn't followed you from the bar and shot that bastard before he cut off your . . ."

"Don't Sam."

"I'm sorry, Danny."

"It was so frightening." 

"I know, honey.  I know.  What I don't understand is why you fell in love with me instead of that hunk of a cop who saved you."

Danny started crying.

"Oh, honey.  Now what?"

"Oh, Sam, don't you know?  That cop was a narcissistic little prick who blamed me for the whole thing.  He said that I led that guy on in the bar.  I fell in love with you, Sam, because not only did you make me look beautiful by giving me hair, but you made me feel beautiful."

"Now I'm going to cry."

"Enough of that Sam.  Now, who else is going to be there that I need to know about?"

"The only other people Richard has invited to stay at the villa is Butch and Buddy.  They are similar to us as far as age difference, but their relationship is different.  I don't really know the complete story.  As best I understand, Butch adopted Buddy when he was either 16 or 17 years old.  The only thing Butch would tell me was that Buddy had been abused by his foster parents."

"Well, doesn't Richard know?  You said he was a gossip."

"No.  Apparently, years ago when Richard and Ian invited Butch and Buddy to come skiing, Richard tried to get the story out of Buddy.  Butch had a very short, but effective word with Richard.  Since then, Richard doesn't say much to Buddy."

"How do they know Ian and Richard?"

"Butch was a security guard at one of the casinos when Ian first came to Vegas.  He really hated it.  He ended up being a truck driver based out of Boise.  He picked up Buddy one night hitchhiking.  I think it was the second time that Buddy had run away from his foster family.  That is really all I know."

"You mean, nothing about hair, or other body descriptions.  Come on, Sam."

"Okay.  Okay.  Butch is built like a fire hydrant, and is a little polar bear.  You'll find this funny.  He and I have the exact same wig.  When I started wearing a white wig, Buddy wanted one exactly like it.  Buddy wears a hairpiece that is similar in style to Butch's, but in a dark ash blond.  Buddy is a little taller than Butch and has a bodybuilder's physique.  In fact, modeling paid for every bit of his education.  He just finished defending his dissertation for his doctorate in child psychology."

"I hope that covers it because I think we are almost there."

"It does.  Everything will be fine.  The memorial will be lovely.  We'll eat too much, and then we'll go home."

To be continued in another installment based upon audience response.

[lithium80writer]

The Fence (A Billy Hargrove Short Story)

Chapter one, Chapter two

Chapter three: Hope

⚠️This is a darker story. ⚠️ Billy Hargrove short story. This story will focus a lot on Billy's abuse from his father and Josephine's mental and sexual abuse from her stepfather. Can these two lost souls find sanctuary in each other? Trigger warnings ⚠️: Descriptions of sexual assault in first person and domestic abuse. Language. Thoughts of self harm and suicide. Disturbing topics. Smut. ⚠️ This story is not for everyone but more an emotional release for me. Thank you for reading. 🖤 Upside down doesn't exist. Max is not Billy's sister. It's just him and Neil.

******

Josephine's POV

Day one of the basement is always the worst. I have to adjust to losing my sense of sight, my sense of time. I sit against the cold, hard floor and stare into the nothingness. It's pitch black. I try to wave my hand in front of my face. Nothing. I can see nothing. The tiny window that used to give a light glow is now painted over.

He likes to take away anything that I love. Sunlight being one of them.

I bring my knees to my chest and place my chin against them. I wonder how long it'll be this time. He was angry to begin with but fighting back made him even angrier. After the first day of being down here, the rest all run together. I haven't been here in a long time.

I haven't missed it.

I'm hungry. He won't feed me for a few days. And when he does, it will be only enough to keep me alive. Welcome to the basement.

Billy's POV

"FUCK YOU!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I slide into the driver's seat of my car. I see my dad running down the steps of the porch and I sling the stick into the drive position. I press down on the pedal before he can reach me. And I'm gone. I roll my windows down and welcome the breeze flying in.

I scream. Again and again and again as I fly down the road. My eye is swollen shut this time. He really can't help himself this week. Must be problems with his latest lady. I drive down the street and wish I could keep driving and never stop. I've always thought about it. Just leaving and never coming back.

I'm a pretty tough guy. I can take a punch from anyone and not feel a thing. Anyone but him.

It's not the pain from his punches that bother me. Sometimes I don't even feel it anymore. It's the realization that he doesn't love me. The realization that I'm nothing but a punching bag to him.

He gets to take out all of his anger on me but what would he do if I returned the favor? I'm getting older now. Stronger. Sometimes I think I could take him.

I work out a lot. I've been trying to build my strength in case that day ever does come. I want to hurt him. Make him bleed. Watch as he begs me to stop. I want him to feel what I've had to endure for years.

But it wouldn't matter. He couldn't actually understand. It's not the same. I can kick his ass but he won't know how it feels to have the man who is supposed to love you completely destroy your childhood.

Who would I be if it wasn't for him? I think about that often. Would I be kinder? Less angry all the fucking time? Would I be happy?

I'll be 18 soon and I can't wait for that day. I can almost taste the freedom. Nothing but the sound of my car purring as I drive away from this hellhole. Away from him.

Would I miss him? Would he miss me? Yeah I know it's fucked up but he's my dad. He's all I know.

Maybe I can take Jo. Help her. Save her. That's crazy talk, Billy.

Was it my fault that she was MIA? Did I fuck up? I just wanted to see her. I need more information. Or maybe she just isn't interested, Billy. No. It has to be him. I can still see the sadness in her eyes.

What do I do? How can I help?

********

Josephine's POV

I run my finger along the line in the wall. Tracing it all the way down. I can barely stand but I have to keep moving. How long has it been? I'm starting to feel crazy. More crazy than usual.

I'll sing. Maybe that will help. My voice comes out hoarse. I need some water but my small cup is empty. I sing anyway.

"Wait a minute, baby. Stay with me a while. Said you'd give me light. But you never told me about the fire."

My usual sweet tone is scratchy and distorted. I've always loved to sing. Just for me. I love Stevie Nicks. She's my favorite. I listen to her again and again and she takes me to a different place.

Even though my voice is cracking and my throat is begging for relief I continue on.

"Drowning in the sea of love. Where everyone would love to drown. But now it's gone. It doesn't matter what for. When you build your house then call me home"

I trip over something and my knees fall hard to the concrete floor. I can't move. I can't pick myself up. I don't have the energy. He ruins everything. I curl into a ball and await the sound of the door creaking.

I can't wait to see the sun again. I can't wait to feel it. I miss my tree. And even though I've only seen him once, I miss Billy.

Billy's POV

A letter Billy? Really? I need to talk to her. Showing up on her doorstep was a mistake. I have to do this quietly. But how?

I dig through my backpack pulling out my composition notebook. What do I say? Will she even see it? She probably doesn't care. Maybe I'm fucking delusional. Maybe I imagined that look. Fuck.

I grab a pencil and tap it against the paper. I hate writing.

Hey.

Hey? Fuck... I tear the paper from the notebook, crumbling it quickly. This is stupid. I quickly write a few lines and fold it up.

Short and simple.

Now how do I get it to her? What if he finds it? Think, Billy.

A book. The tree. I saw her there before. It's worth a shot.

I don't own any books. Playboys? Hustlers? Sure.  But not exactly the look I'm going for.

I remember an old box my dad has full of books he's never touched. He won't miss it. I pick one and smile. Romeo and Juliet.

Cheesy? Absolutely.

I stick the letter inside and head for the back door. I take a peek through the small hole in the fence. No one. I carefully drop the book by the tree. I hope she gets it.

"William!" I hear him. But the fear is less than usual. I feel a little excitement. A little anticipation. A little hope.

Josephine's POV

"Josephine." I wake to his voice. My heart starts pounding. I can't see him but I can smell him. "Have you learned your lesson?" the monster says. I hate you. "Yes, father." I say instead. I hear the metal screech as he screws in the lightbulb.

My eyes burn as the light floods my vision. I feel dizzy and lightheaded. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly. I have to adjust slowly. My senses are on overdrive.

He pulls me from the ground and I have to lean into him to make it up the stairs. It makes me want to cry. But I have no tears left after my time down here.

My feet feel heavy as I make it up the stairs. More light. Sounds. It's been so quiet. I'm overwhelmed. Overstimulated. "Bath." I croak. He leads me to my room and lets me go. I fall to the floor and hear my door shut behind me.

********

It's been two days since I was set free from the basement. Today is outside day. I hope he lets me go. I need the sun.

"Thirty minutes. And I'll be watching." he appears in my doorway. I can't stop the smile that spreads across my face. My eyes begin to water and I jump up quickly.

I run to my spot. My tree. A book? This isn't mine. I see a sliver of white sticking out of the top. I take the book and rest against the tree. I open it slowly and see my name scrawled across the folded paper.

My mind is swirling with thoughts as I open it as carefully as possible making sure to shield it behind the book.

Dear Jo,

I haven't seen you around recently. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. I tried to come see you. Just to say hi. My lip is healed now. Replaced with a black eye but hey.. one thing at a time, right? Please let me know you're okay.

Your friend from the other side of the fence, Billy

I want to write back immediately but I have to wait. I do my best to hide my expression. I feel something in my chest. Something I've never felt before. Hope.

********

Dear Billy,

I was happy to get your letter. I'm sorry for disappearing. I am okay. Is your eye better? I hope so. Your letter caught me by surprise. It made me feel happy. I don't feel that a lot. So, thank you. Write back soon.

Your friend from the other side of the fence, Josephine.

****

Dear Jo,

My eye is fine. I'm a big boy. Are you sure you are okay? I was worried about you. Is this okay? The letters. I like hearing from you.

Your friend, Billy

****

Dear Billy,

Define okay. I will survive. I'm a big girl. I like hearing from you, too. The letters are okay. We just have to be careful. My father is.. strict.

Your friend, Jo

**** Dear Josephine,

What is strict? Does he hurt you? Is he like my dad? Your eyes looked sad but they were beautiful. I wish I could see them again.

Billy

****

Billy,

Sometimes he hurts me. But you can't tell anyone. Please. You have the prettiest eyes and I think about them often. They remind me of an ocean. I've never seen the ocean.

Your friend, Josephine

****

I want to help you. Billy

****

I want to see you. Jo

****

Today was bad. Will write more soon. Always thinking about you. Billy

****

I can't take it, Billy. Do you ever feel like you can't take it anymore? Josephine

**** Talk to me sweetheart. What happened? Your Billy

**** I need to see you. Your Josephine

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove stranger things #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove fanfic #stranger things #stranger things fanfics #billy stranger things #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove x oc #billy x oc #Billy hargove x female oc #Billy hargrove redemption #billy hargove smut #billy hargrove boyfriend #angst #billy hargrove needs a hug #neil hargrove #billy hargrove protective

[pagodazz]

SAM & THE CRANBERRIES

"Understand the things I say

Don't turn away from me

'Cause I've spent half my life out there

You wouldn't disagree"

Sam often has to explain himself to his family, he has to yell at the top of his lungs to be heard though. he could set boundary after boundary but no one ever actually listens to him.

"Do you see me, do you see?

Do you like me

Do you like me standing there?

Do you notice, do you know

Do you see me, do you see me?

Does anyone care?"

Sam often feels like he's invisible. I mean he's been using drugs since he was 12 years old, that does damage. And his mother nor father cared. They never stopped to pay attention and they expect him to just forgive them for everything.

And I mean obviously like the troubled, lonely teen he is, he forgives them.

"Unhappiness where's when I was young

And we didn't give a damn

'Cause we were raised

To see life as fun and take it if we can

My mother, my mother

She'd hold me

She'd hold me when I was out there

My father, my father

He liked me, well he liked me

Does anyone care?"

Sam's mother does love him, but In her own way. And it's not right. She's neglectful but only because she lets Sam do whatever he wants. She just wants him to be happy and she thinks she's doing the right thing.

The drugs are taking her son away but that's what Sam wants to do, and she doesn't want to stop him.

And Sam's father mourns the child he was never really there for. He LIKED Sam, he doesn't like him now. He spends the whole movie moaning and groaning over the fact Sam has piercings and blue hair. He wants to see the kid he left behind before he dies, but that kid doesn't exist anymore.

But that doesn't stop the dad from trying to force him to come back to life.

"Understand what I've become

It wasn't my design

And people everywhere think

Something better than I am"

There's a scene in the movie where Sam says this:

He doesn't want to be the way he is, but he really can't help it. He doesn't know what he's meant to do. All he's ever known was this life. He doesn't know how to fix it. How to fix himself.

After taking Sam for the summer, His dad freaks out over every minor thing Sam does. He expects Sam to get better INSTANTLY. but that's not even how it works.

Sam isn't going to become sober instantly and he isn't going to love his dad again immediately.

It's only after his father screams at him and throws him around, That Sam listens to him.

it wasn't out of respect or love, it was out of fear, and that's not right.

"But I miss you, I miss

'Cause I liked it

'Cause I liked it

When I was out there

Do you know this, do you know

You did not find me

You did not find

Does anyone care?"

Sam misses the drugs, he misses not feeling. he misses the way he could just float through life.

Everyone in his life has done nothing but degrade drugs, when all he's tried to get them to understand is that the drugs were helping him in a way, and now that he's without them it hurts.

Even in the end, all of Sam's hard work is apparently all thanks to the dad. Which isn't true.

It's all thanks to Sam that he turned out okay. He did that all himself, and nobody cares.

#life as a house #sam monroe #hayden christensen #the cranberries #anakin skywalker #Spotify

[coexistentialism]

I always end up glossing over how bad the sibling abuse from my brother was. It's the stuff I have the most access to, and yet even still there's still tons missing and tons I still don't have access too. But it was so fucking bad. And it always slips my mind, but it was so severe.

So many trigger warnings, uhh. Trigger warning for the following: homicidal ideation towards an abuser; brief mention of comparing an abuser to Satan; emotional abuse, specifically sibling abuse. Sexual abuse from a sibling as well. Also medical neglect?

I would scratch out his face in photographs and such. Like take a pushpin and scratch out his face. Or scribble over it. Or literally tear him out of photographs. I still have photos that have my brother torn out of them.

I hated him so much as a child that I quite literally would be like "hate is too strong of a word, only reserved for my brother because of how horrible he is."

I'd compare him to Satan and call him Satan to a point he was pissed at me one day because apparently a random kid called him Satan as a "joke", but my brother had thought that I told some random kid that my brother was Satan or whatever.

He was the definition of a school bully, but I lived with him. He was the kind of person who purposefully annoyed you. He was the kind of person on those awful "YouTube prank" channels where the "joke" is just being a fucking asshole and purposefully annoying people, upsetting them, pissing them off, but the person ""pranking"" them is just laughing because it's apparently funny to push someone's buttons.

He'd do that horrific thing where you twist someone's arm extremely painfully, like painful burning. Would do something to hurt me and when I expressed pain, would tell me "oh please, it didn't hurt" or "it didn't hurt that bad, oh my God."

At 7/8-years-old, I pushed him out of a trailer house. Like in our trailer house, there was a door that didn't have stairs leading out to the outside, and I pushed him out of it. I've pushed him down stairs too, at like 9-13-years-old, anywhere around that age.

Had homicidal thoughts towards him. Genuinely thought about how I wished I could kill him and the police would come and they'd understand why I did it because of how horrible he was. Of course that was just child wishful thinking.

There's definitely more that I'm forgetting.

Oh, I mean. The sexual abuse too lmfao. At least he didn't rape me. :/

Called me names, made fun of me. When I tried to "run away" (it wasn't running away so much as I claimed it was running away and then just walked a while away from my home and then came back after finding a stranger who called the police to take me home, but whatever), my brother (and I'm pretty sure my dad at times) would make fun of me and call me "little miss runaway."

Being so angry and upset and felt so much torment that all I could do was scream at the top of my lungs.

I remember my mom just telling me "just ignore him and he'll stop." Yeah sure.

At age, like 6 or 7, I stepped on a piece of plastic that dug into my foot and I was screaming and crying in so much pain and... My dad just thought we were fighting 🙃 So he told us to shut up until my brother had to say that hey no she (me) stepped on something and is in horrific pain.

Wasn't taken to a doctor or anything. Never really was. Don't know what happened with that or anything, but I remember the next year, my dad had to dig into my foot again, literally had to re-open the wound to see if there was still a piece of plastic in my foot and yep there was. I still have two scars from the original wound and my dad having to make a new wound to dig into.

Didn't think that that was abnormal and I still struggle to wrap my head around just how bad that sounds and just how bad that is. My therapist was completely shocked hearing about that when I first told her about it. Been told that it sounds like "a mild form of torture." And yeah I can see that. When I think about it now, the thought of somebody digging into my skin to create a wound to look if there's something inside that area, nothing to dull the pain except "here, bite down on this" or some shit, sounds horrifically excruciatingly painful, and I'm an adult. I was 7 when that happened.

As a kid, the Warrior cats book series was my special interest, and I'm fairly certain I had a Scourge introject as a child, and well. Reading all of the above, you can make obvious conclusions why (well, if you know about Scourge's story that is. TL;DR: he was abused by his siblings, was made fun of by them and bullied by them, and he ran away and then killed them when they came to him later in life seeking his help. So uh you can see why child me would've introjected him).

And I know there's even more that's dissociated away/I don't remember/don't have access to.

#my posts #sibling abuse