#meant to be a mother ; kathy

[selfmadesaviour]

tag drop.

#actually one of the nice girls ; jj #its not that easy for me ; erin #the war is a part of me ; jay #i am clearly a middle child ; trevor #that is captain to you ; liv #i do what i have to ; sam #they think i'm weird ; margot #only freaking superheroes ; amy #death before dishonor ; conrad #surgeons don't make promises ; mina #they do see me ; wilder #i can be it all ; gaby #meant to be a mother ; kathy #this is who i am ; nat #tiny but fierce ; tina #just like fine wine ; tanya #this is a lucy lesson ; lucy #more complicated than people think ; hailey #trust fund baby ; wesley #everything is a test ; tim

[lily-blue]

I look at you like you're perfect for me

☆ characters: half-dark elf!theo & you ☆ genre: dark fantasy au, soulmate au ☆ warnings: mention of blood, violence and death, manipulation, slight mention of self-hatred ☆ summary: having a soulmate sounds like a fairy tale, doesn’t it? too bad that yours could have been easily written by one of grimm brothers or the queen of dark fairy tales, @dat-town herself ☆ words: 11,2k ☆ also: just like every year, this soulmate au was written for my own soulmate, kathy ♥ the tenth year of our friendship brought along a lot of changes; and i’m immensely happy to know that there is no such thing in our relationship as too much distance between the two of us. thank you for sticking by my side through all these years, starting from my super awkward high school years, and please, stay with me for five times this many (and even more) ♥

There had been a time when you had hated yourself for being born the way you were: without magic. However, shortly after your twentieth birthday, when the Dark Elves came knocking on your door, this rare deficiency - that less than one hundredth percent of the population had the misfortune to experience -, was what allowed you to survive when your village went up in smoke. You see, your people lived in one of the most lavish and dense forests of the Northern Kingdom. Even with magic running through your community’s veins, you stood no chance against the flames. Many died before they could have even thought about running.

Not that abandoning their roots helped a lot of people. Because the Dark Elves were ruthless just as the stories suggested and killed everyone who bumped into them on their way towards the border of your village. Gender or age… neither of those mattered. Once they sensed your spiritual core, the magical energy deep in your soul, there was a target on your back and their soldiers never missed aim.

The bile was burning your throat when you heard yet another body fall on the ground with a loud thud a few steps from behind you, but you willed yourself and kept running. This time the screams were louder; they came from a lot closer and it terrified you. The implication that you would be the next.

However, that arrow, you were so sure was meant to pierce through your heart, never came. It was as though they couldn’t see you. As though you were completely invisible in the open while people who tried their best to lay low lost their lives due to their stalling. You couldn’t grasp what was happening around you, but to be honest, you didn’t have time or spare energy to ponder over the reasons and theories. You needed to get as far from the chaos as possible before your weak legs gave up.

You had never been too athletic. You were driven by your sheer will to survive.

You weren’t sure how long it would take to get away from the stomach-churning screams and the distinct sound of wood burning; however, you had to be a lot deeper in the forest than you had ever been in because the awaited sense of safety didn’t embrace you as soon as you entered the realm of Mother Nature. You had to keep running. You had to keep moving forwards even when your feet hurt and your lungs begged for a break.

You didn’t stop until your body was physically incapable of moving. And then… Then, you crawled behind a thick trunk to placate your aggressively beating heart. 

The Sun was already peeking through the trees by the time you more or less managed to regulate your breathing and came up with a semi-well-thought-out plan. Obviously, as much as you wanted to see your family, you couldn’t have just gone back to your village to look for other survivors. You didn’t have any weapon on you to fight your way though an army, any experience in close combat other than those playful fist fights you had occasionally had with your neighbors or magic to rely on against other magical creatures. If the Dark Elves were still around, you would have died the moment you set foot in your home.

However, your chances might not have been that horrible if you hadn’t been alone. If you had had other people backing you up while fighting back against the Dark Elves. Therefore, what your next move should have been was clear: you had to find the nearest village and see what was going on there. Had they been spared by the monsters who had chosen the most peaceful moment of the night to destroy your home? Had they been already slaughtered? Would they have been the next victims of their conquest?

Either way, you had no time to waste.

So despite the tiredness in your bones that became more significant after the adrenaline left your body and the minor injuries you had obtained during your escape, you pushed yourself into a standing position and headed east. You had never visited any of the neighboring farms and villages before, but you were a regular at the market, so you had met many vendors from the area. You had heard stories about their families, about their lifestyles and homes, hence you knew where to start looking for people who might have actually been willing to lend you a helping hand. There should have been hunters on the other side of this forest who would have felt for you and your family. They were more empathetic than lone farmers around the western regions.

Following the Sun, grateful for its guidance, it was easier to disregard the pain in your feet, caused by the cuts and bruises on your bare soles, than you would have initially thought. You had never been a warrior, after all. What wasn’t easy to shut out, however, was the grumbling of your stomach and the feeling of emptiness in your gut. When was the last time you had eaten? You were pretty sure you hadn’t skipped dinner last night, so why? Why was your body demanding food so desperately while numbing the pain?

Your mind was switching between daydreaming about your mother’s roasted sweet potatoes and the pictures of your loved ones falling on the cold ground like sacks of rice, hence in no time, you felt like you could have thrown up the minute your mouth touched anything edible. You were so damn hungry, but all the death and suffering that lingered in your mind made it hard to digest that you were still alive. Why were you still alive?

Your steps faltered then came to an immediate stop when the unmistakable sound of horses trotting somewhere in front of you registered in your brain. Your heart was in your throat as you looked around in panic, trying to find a place where you could have hidden. A bush that was dense enough to hide your figure, a hollow in one of the thicker trees, a branch low enough for you to use as leverage, so that you could climb on the top. Something. Anything.

In the end, you did come across a branch that you could reach on your tiptoes, so you quickly ran towards it and used your momentum and the sturdy trunk underneath your feet to aid your above-the-average muscles. You pulled yourself up on the tree and hugged the trunk in hope of blending into your surroundings. 

A voice inside of your head - a gentle yet teasing tone akin to your beloved older sister’s - scolded you for breathing too loudly and staring in the direction of possible danger, so you swallowed down your fears, willed your body to comply and closed your eyes like your father had taught you during the first and last hunt he had taken you on. You remembered how ridiculous he had sounded to you when he had told you and Nobara that every creature could feel it when they were being watched. You, for that matter, had never experienced such a thing during any of your hide-and-seeks with your friends, but your sister had paid a lot of attention to your father’s instructions, so you had mimicked her serious expression.

Despite your best efforts, your father had never taken you on a hunt after that one occasion. For months, you had been sulking, convinced that it had been because he could have seen the skepticism in your eyes. Later, your sister had told you that he had only been worried about you because at that moment he had realized that you truly couldn’t sense other creatures’ watchful eyes without magic.

Life without magic had always sucked.

The tingles came unexpectedly. At first, it was as though tiny needles were pricking on your skin, but later, as your rational thoughts resurfaced, you realized that was hardly possible. So you thought the sensation came from tiny insects creeping under your clothes, and you prayed that they weren’t poisonous. You were without your loved ones, you felt miserable for sure, but that didn’t mean you wanted to follow them to the afterlife in case they were already six feet under.

You gulped and resisted the urge to lift your hand and scratch your nape. You willed yourself not to open your eyes.

However, as the seconds ticked by, it became significantly harder to stay still. You had never been a hyperactive person - you loved spending time at home, helping your mom and reading in the barn or on the field -, but at that moment, there was this slowly growing urge inside of you that made you want to reveal your hiding place. It encouraged you to climb off the tree, and it scared you how your nails had to dig into the trunk consciously, so that you wouldn’t have given in to this irrational temptation.

‘Keep heading west. I’ll catch up with you,’ you could hear one of the riders send away the rest, making you wonder what his reason could have been for both staying behind and staying alone without any backup.

You wanted to sneak a peek at him so much. Your hands were trembling as you held onto the tree desperately. What was wrong with you? Deluding yourself into thinking that you were out of harm’s way just because he was alone was the worst thing you could have done. This rider could have easily been one of those who had attacked your village the previous night.

Your arms jerked and your hands let go of the trunk when something big and warm landed on your shoulder. You could have pinpointed the exact moment you lost your footing and your body fell forwards, then towards the cold ground underneath.

You could phantom the pain that was surely about to come with the collision, but you did not feel the crash. Instead, your bare feet touched the grass gently like you had been floating on your way down and your balance was supported by two strong arms that enveloped your torso. Those palms that appeared on your hips were big and warm. Familiar in a way you had a hard time to explain.

‘Aren’t you gonna open your eyes, little one?’ The same rider asked you with a pinch of playfulness to his voice that immediately disarmed you despite your better judgment. A part of you was still aware that you knew nothing about this person. Your concerns and worries and fears were still there, somewhere in the back of your head. They just didn’t seem to reach you when you needed your survival instincts, your defenses the most. 

Why else would you have called him out on the nickname he had chosen for you instead of on how he had sneaked up on you and endangered your life.

‘I’m not little,’ you sulked, linking your arms in front of your chest, which later you realized was only proving him right. You acted like a little girl, but you couldn’t have decided whether it had been already too late to back out. Should you have held your chin higher or let your arms fall back by your sides?

Indecisive, you let your body posture stay the way it was, but stopped pouting to lessen the spoiled brat attitude.

‘U-hum,’ the lone rider hummed out, taunting you with a pout similar to the one you had just abandoned and simultaneously urging you to fight back. However, you didn’t have any good retort and even if you had had any, the words would have stuck in your throat the moment your eyes met his ash gray orbs. He looked breathtakingly beautiful.

Inhuman. 

‘Like what you see, little one?’ The rider teased, and that alone would have earned a scoff from you if you had been able to close your mouth while you were taking in his appearance.

The boy didn’t look older than twenty-three; his complexion was pale as though his face was lit up by the Moon even in daylight. He had fair hair that fell into his face and ears as sharp as needle ice. He was an elf. There was no question about it and yet, your feet made no attempt at putting the well-needed distance between you two.

‘Are you without a horse?’ His more reasonable question pulled you out of your head and you nodded on instinct, although admitting that you had no means getting away from him might have been a mistake.

It seemed like you were making one poor decision after another in this stranger’s company. Who was he anyway? And why did it feel like he was someone important to you whom you should have kept close?

‘Are you heading west?’

‘East,’ the truth fell from your lips easily as if you weren’t in control of your own actions, and in a world where magic was more common than people without power, the possibility shouldn’t have been brushed off as quickly as you had just done so. It was just… as soon as the thought could have formed in your mind, your heart rejected it without hesitation.

‘Do you mind if I take you to the nearest village? The forest isn’t the safest place right now,’ the rider reasoned and a part of you wanted to ask how he knew that the area was dangerous, but before you could have parted your lips, he had already taken your silence as a permission to touch you.

The boy’s palm was warm against your skin; his fingers fit around your wrist like a bracelet. Your body followed him towards his horse with minor protest. You didn’t come back to your senses until you were standing in front of the mighty animal and your company took his hand off you to fix the saddle, so the horse could carry the both of you.

‘I… I didn’t say that I’d go with you.’ You took a step backwards. You still didn’t sound too eager to turn your back on him, but it was a baby step towards the right direction.

Why did you have to remind yourself that you didn’t know him? You knew that you had no idea who he was and what his intentions were with you. You were completely in the dark regarding his reason for sending the rest of his group away and you were also unaware whether he had known about your presence when he had done that. 

Not to mention that he was an elf. That in itself should have been a good enough reason for you to run in the opposite direction. Yet, you stood in one place, with your chin held up high. Your breath hitched when your eyes met for the second time.

‘You didn’t say you don’t want me to take you there, either,’ the elf exclaimed, his smug grin both annoying and charming - a thought you would have liked to bury deep in your mind, so you could have never accidentally blurted it out. ‘You want to stay here alone?’

You didn’t. You didn’t want to be alone.

‘You’re an elf. My village has been destroyed by elves,’ you forced the words through your gritted teeth as you simultaneously fought the tears in your eyes. You shouldn’t have shown weakness in front of a stranger. You shouldn’t have cried and mourned your family when you hadn’t known for sure that they were gone. They might have made it. Just because your sister had told you to run and she had stayed behind, it didn’t mean that she had failed to find a way out of the chaos. 

You didn’t notice that you had balled your fists or that your arms were trembling due to your frustration and anger until your eyes fell on the rider’s face and you noted that he was staring at your hands. You relaxed your fingers immediately.

‘Did I destroy your village?’ He asked a tad tentatively and you gulped when you picked up on the sadness in his voice. You hadn’t meant to offend him. Yet, it was hard to convince yourself that if he had seen the shoe fit, it had been absolutely on him.

You felt like an asshole.

‘I mean… I don’t know for sure,’ you mumbled under your nose, looking at everything but him, so the unexpected tightness in your chest would have eased up a little. ‘Did you?’

The rider scoffed, but didn’t call you out on the bluntness of your question or the rudeness of the implication behind your words. Instead, he took a step further from his horse to encourage you to climb on the animal.

You bit into your cheek from the inside, waiting.

‘I’ve just arrived from the east with my group,’ he stated, his words aligning with what you had seen and heard mere minutes ago. The noises had indeed come from that direction, while your home had been located in the opposite way. Even on horseback, it sounded unreasonable that they would have taken such a huge detour just to get ahead of you and fool you.

Without magic, you were no match for their kind.

You looked down at your bare feet littered in cuts and bruises, then shifted your gaze to the horse. It would have been a lie to say it wasn’t tempting; however, letting the elf take you to anywhere was really the good choice?

‘Are you a dark elf?’ Another blunt question, another wave of guilt that washed over you the moment the last word had left your mouth. Since when had you been so concerned about a stranger’s feelings when your safety was at risk? He could have been as easily related to the monsters who had killed your people as…

‘I’m a half-elf.’

You sank your teeth deeper into your flesh. The pain in your body had been bearable before. Your feet had been numb and your wounds superficial. You could have made it to the other side of the woods on your own. A part of you was even determined to do so, so why… Why were your feet dragging you towards the horse?

‘Good girl,’ the rider complimented you when you climbed on the horse on your own, then got on the animal behind you, keeping you stable with his arms around your body.

You swallowed down your nerves.

You tried to swallow down your nerves.

Surprisingly, the journey towards the closest village was spent in calming silence. The only sounds breaking the tranquility were one of Mother Nature: the light breeze playing with the withering leaves, the foliage getting crushed underneath the horse’s hoofs, mosquitos and other insects buzzing into your ears. 

In hindsight, you should have picked up on the telltale signs and known that something was really, really wrong when no birds or squirrels came out of their nests, but you weren’t as experienced as your other family members were when it came to the neighboring forest. So obviously, it hit you in the face when you arrived at your destination and it was also burned to the ground, just like your home. If it hadn’t been for the half-elf, you would have fallen off the horse due to the shock that shook you up quite badly. Just a week ago, you had been talking to this old man from this village at your market, promising him to buy an extra sack of potatoes from him if he introduced you to his grandson.

Now, they might have been both dead.

‘Hey, where are…’

The rider’s question didn’t register in your mind as you jumped off the horse and ran in a random direction, calling for survivors and looking for anyone who might have needed your help. It took you less than twenty steps to bump into the first half-burnt corpse and seven lifeless bodies in total to find the old man.

Overwhelmed, you didn’t realize how much the sight affected you until your knees hit the ground beside the man and your head crushed into a firm bundle of muscles, albeit less roughly.

The last thing you heard was the rider’s voice before your brain shut itself down.

Later, when you woke up, your wounds were dressed in clean textile and your head was put on something soft that gave enough support to your neck to not be in pain despite the hours you might have spent sleeping on the ground. It had been still pretty early when you had reached the other side of the forest; however, based on the blinding sunlight that shone down on you at a sharp angle from the sky, now, it had to be way into the afternoon.

What had happened while you had been out? Had there been any survivors? And where were you exactly anyway?

Where was the ri…

‘Good morning, sweetheart,’ a distinctly familiar, deep voice greeted you, and you made the mistake of trying to get in a sitting position as soon as possible to look at the half-elf, letting out an involuntary whine in the process. Hell. The middle of your forehead was throbbing; you felt so dizzy as if you had a head injury. Had you gotten hit on the head or something? You seriously couldn’t remember.

Your confusion must have been written on your face, because the next thing you knew, the rider crouched down in front of you and picked up a torn textile from the floor. Then, he rinsed it in a bowl of water and pushed you on your back, placing it back on your forehead.

‘You accidentally hit your head when I put you down, so that I could look for something to eat,’ he explained with an apologetic smile, the expression making it obvious even for your smashed brain that it hadn’t been you, per se, who had hit your head, but him who had been too careless.

You didn’t call him out on his wording, though. Mostly, because he had carried you to a safe place and stayed with you regardless of being strangers. In spite of your rude questions and open distrust. He hadn’t been obliged to protect you after you had accused him of killing your loved ones, but he had still done so. To you, this spoke volume.

‘Would it help if I told you my name?’

The question made no sense to you. Why would it have helped with anything if you had learned the rider’s name? And with what exactly did he think you needed help? 

On the other hand, would knowing his name have made anything worse? You could have pretty much stopped referring to him as a rider and a half-elf in your head, which might have actually taken less out of your already drained brain power. Hence, you nodded (and hissed when it triggered yet another mini explosion behind your forehead). Ouch. That hurt.

‘Theo. My mom was a maid at the Light Elves’ Court in the south,’ he introduced himself, although the revelation that he was one of the creatures known as the least worse out of all monstrous magical beings did add to your guilt. He might not have been a good guy, either, but he wasn’t out there, killing thousands of innocents, either, and as bad as it sounded, that was already more you could have wished for.

So you told him your name in exchange and what had happened to your village the previous night, leaving out the teeny, tiny detail that the reason you could have run away was the lack of magic rushing through your veins. You didn’t have any proof.

Not to mention, saying that aloud could have still put you in danger - a voice akin to your mother’s warned you quietly.

After the most crucial pieces of information were shared and there was a semi-solid base that your acquaintanceship could have been built on, Theo brought up some lighter topics to ease the mood while you were munching on berries and rose apples. They might not have been as delicious as your mother’s kimbap rolls and chicken salad, but they were filling and that was all that mattered.

‘You should rest some more. I’ll stand guard,’ the rider reassured you and covered your upper body with his jacket before you could have protested. And you were grateful for him. You were grateful that he didn’t give any chance to your stubborn ass to claim you weren’t tired. Because you were. You were so exhausted, sleeping a couple more hours sounded exactly like what you needed.

‘Hn,’ you gave in with a low hum, enjoying the phantom touch of his fingertips against your skin and in your hair moments before you fell asleep.

Your initial plan to look for help at the nearest village, obviously, had been thrown out the window. However, it wasn’t like you could have just given up and not do anything. You had to find your family - or at least their remains if that was all that was left of them - and you couldn’t have possibly done that alone. You still needed people. You still needed survivors. Warriors. Anyone with weapons and will to kick elf asses.

You also needed a companion. And Theo was offering his help to you on a silver plate like he had nothing better to do despite those elves he had sent ahead - those elves he had promised to catch up with - right before your encounter. It was weird but appreciated, and you weren’t exactly in the position to look the gift horse in the mouth.

Thus, you made a deal: he would stay with you until you found a village that was spared by these monsters and in exchange, you promised to tell him those details he knew you had left out of your story about the massacre. It sounded like giving out nothing for everything, but you guessed, everyone had different values. What wasn’t valuable to you might have been a treasure to someone else.

You got on horseback a day after you had woken up after fainting from overstimulation and traveled from village to village just to meet more destruction than you had ever seen in your life. Honestly, before the night you had been separated from your family, you couldn’t have even imagined something so brutal. The fire wasn’t even the worst part. It was the smell of roasted flesh and the sight of those personal belongings that had somehow survived. The first time you had seen a pile of ash next to a half-burned doll, you had been crying for minutes for a child you had known nothing about.

Losing hope was too easy. It took you no longer than a week of constant failure and you felt like you didn’t have it in you to keep going. What was the use? You had gotten further and further from your home and still had no army that could have challenged the elves. Not to mention how hard it had become to work up an appetite with the stink of death in your pores, your hair and your clothes even after taking a bath in a stream or lake (depending on what the two of you came across in the afternoons). In short, there was no use and you had no energy to start a fight.

A magicless one-man-army had no business to start a war. It would have made no difference if you had just given yourself up. In fact, that might have been less embarrassing.

‘What’s making you so conflicted? Your forehead is all wrinkly.’ Theo sat down by the fire beside you, his rough fingertips trying to smooth out the furrows on your forehead, around your eyes and between your eyebrows. You pressed your lips together to suppress a whine. It was exhausting, thinking and talking about your feelings. They were so negative and draining these days.

You let out a sigh, watching over the fish you were roasting on wooden sticks.

‘Do you think what we’re doing is useless? As far as we know, the Dark Elves could rule the whole kingdom by now,’ you voiced out your second biggest fear, too scared to bring up the possibility of your family’s death. Talking about that would have made it real and a stubborn part of you refused to believe they hadn’t made it.

Could there have been a safe haven out there somewhere for those who had survived? Were there others trying to accomplish the same goal as you, albeit with more success?

‘I’m pretty sure we’d know about it if they took control over the whole kingdom, sweetheart. Don’t worry your pretty head about them. Let’s concentrate on finding an unaffected village,’ he slid his fingers to your jawline, tapping on your cheek once, twice, three times before he pulled your head against his chest.

Instead of complaining, you buried your nose into his loose shirt, sniffing his characteristic, musky scent that made you feel safe. You wanted him to be right so much.

‘I don’t know what I would do without you,’ you mumbled under your nose when the silence stretched too long, giving in to the urge to close your eyes and get lost in his closeness. The warmth of Theo’s body enveloped you like a fluffy blanket on an unforgivingly cold winter night.

‘You would be just fine,’ the rider insisted, and you appreciated his faith in you, even though a voice in your head insisted that the only reason he said this was how little he knew about you. He had no idea that under the pseudo-confident, stubborn facade you were weak. You had been born weak and being sheltered by your entire village, you had never gotten the chance to grow strong.

You didn’t even know which berries were edible in the woods.

‘I really wouldn’t,’ you admitted defeatedly, closing your eyes and taking a few shallow breaths as an attempt to gather enough courage to speak the truth. If Theo had really meant what he had said, that meant he hadn’t yet figured out that you couldn’t have backed him up in a fight in case you had come across danger. It wasn’t fair to him that you kept him in the dark. ‘I don’t have any magic. Nothing. I was born without an ounce of magic in my body.’

You wished you could have taken back your words as soon as they fell from your chapped lips. It scared you, the rider’s non-verbal reaction: his arms coming up around your torso and pulling you impossibly close. Why wasn’t he saying anything? You needed him to say it, to say something, even if that something was a scolding or a series of profanities.

‘Theo?’ You tried to pull away to be able to look him in the eyes, but his hold on you was too strong, and you barely managed to tilt your head backwards to at least see a bit of his jawline. It didn’t seem tense, which gave you hope that maybe, maybe his silence didn’t mean that he was angry with you. Your confession must have rendered him speechless, that was all.

You bit into your lower lip, counting to ten, fifteen, thirty in your head before you decided that enough was enough. You needed him to come back to the present instead of stucking in his head.

‘You know…’ you started, not quite sure what you could have said that would have made the situation better. ‘I might be a deadweight, but I think you make me stronger, so it’s not like it’s as bad as it sounds,’ you explained, playing with open cards as you should have done from the beginning. Or well, from the day you had made that deal about staying together.

At that point, you were so worried about what could have been going through the half-elf’s head that you got a tad taken aback when he gave you enough space to look up at him from a more comfortable angle.

‘What do you mean?’ He asked, confusion written all over his face, which would have made you giggle if the tightness in your chest hadn’t been so suffocating. Should you have told him everything or only a fragment of the odd things you had experienced in his closeness these past few days? Would he have believed you if he had heard the truth or deemed you crazy and left without a second thought?

You gulped, your throat suddenly resembling parchments. It was time to tear off the bandaid, wasn’t it? You had simply said too much to back out.

You gulped another time to steal a couple of seconds in which you pathetically failed to put yourself back together, but it was fine. At least, you told yourself that you would have been fine if he had just packed up and left. Sure, it would have taken a lot of time, but you could have gone back to your village on your own and started the search all over again, going in a different direction.

‘I don’t really know how to explain it, but you remember the first time we met?’ You asked, absentmindedly fidgeting with his loose shirt. ‘I could feel your presence, and while I’m sure it’s not a big deal to you, to me… it was a first.’ Out of nervousness, you casted your eyes down, but didn’t stop talking. ‘The other day, when I was at the verge of a panic attack and you told me to calm down, my heart listened.’ 

You sounded crazy, deep down you knew you did. Because what you were describing was the bond that your parents shared, what your grandparents had shared when they had been still alive and what those who were blessed to have a soulmate shared. Although you lived in a world where magic was real, complete soulmate bonds were almost as rare as your kind. So to have one while not possessing the ability to practice magic, it was unfathomable.  

You wouldn’t have blamed Theo if he had thought you had lost it. Because what you were implying included things you obviously hadn’t experienced, only had heard from stories. For example, the reason why your parents always knew when the other person was in danger, felt happy or needed a hug. Soulmates, after all, shared feelings and had the ability to comfort each other without as much as touching or being in the same room.

‘What? You say I’m your soulmate?’ The boy teased and it would have been a lie to say his lighthearted question didn’t hurt. Was it that unbelievable that you could have been destined for each other?

Well… it wasn’t like you were a hundred percent sure about it, either, but still. Was his soft chuckle necessary?

Whether it was your sour facial expression and pouty lips or something more special, Theo seemed to be able to sense your bitterness and cupped your cheeks with his hands. He looked you in the eyes for long enough to make you feel shy and with that, to make you surrender. As a soft whine escaped your mouth, you leaned forwards and buried your face in the crook of his neck where he let you hide.

‘You’re cute,’ he mumbled against the crown of your head, nosing your hair as he slid his hand back on your waist. You stayed like that for a few moments, soaking in the silence, but not as long as you would have preferred.

If you had done that, the fish would have definitely burned to ashes on your wooden sticks and you would have both been left without food for the rest of the night. There was no way Theo could have caught more of them so late at night even if he was an amazing hunter and a determined provider for the two of you.

And if you had hated your dinner for stealing the half-elf’s embrace from you, you made sure your body language didn’t show it. Which meant, the only way Theo could have known it was if he had been indeed your soulmate. And that was impossible, wasn’t it?

It was time you stopped believing in fairy tales. Miracles didn’t happen to people like you.

It had been around a month that you had run away from the surprise attack that had destroyed your home, and you had yet to come across a village that would have been willing (or able) to help you fight the Dark Elves. With the help of Theo, you had successfully worked through each and every one of your episodes; nowadays, you didn’t feel frustration when your eyes fell upon half-destroyed houses and corpses that had turned unrecognizable after the vultures had had their feast. You still felt sadness, of course you did, but not to the point of breaking down and it might have been a small step to an outsider, but to you, it was another proof that the half-elf’s presence made you stronger.

You were convinced that there wasn’t anything you couldn’t have overcome while he was near you.

However, to your misfortune, the rider couldn’t be near you all day every day. For example, he was in charge of hunting for food and looking for water and your company slowed down both of those processes. As it had turned out, your incapability to sense life mixed with your loud footsteps turned you into a human-alarm for the animals in the area.

You were so focused on setting up the fire for the fish Theo had promised you for dinner that you were completely oblivious to the monster who appeared at the border of the forest you used as a potential hiding place in case of emergency.

You yelped when something sharp and pointy was held to your neck. The adamantine blade barely touched you, but you could feel your blood lazily dripping down your skin. How you got yourself in situations like this all the time, that was beyond you. All this time, you had been convinced that Dark Elves couldn’t have cared less about your existence and yet, here you were, about to be slaughtered by one.

You could only wish Theo wouldn’t come back to your makeshift camp before it was over; your heart ached just thinking of him getting killed because of you. Because you were so weak, you couldn’t have even used the woods to your advantage when the half-elf had told you a million times why it was smart to stay close to the trees. Why couldn’t you have done at least this one thing right on your own?

‘Where is he?’ The monster groaned into your ear, his warm breath tickling the sensitive skin right under your ear. You didn’t like the fact that he was talking to you. It felt humiliating, like he was playing with his food as you were pretty sure he didn’t intend to let you go once you answered his question.

You choked on your saliva when the elf grabbed your hair and pulled your head backwards. His blade grazed your neck and with that, left another wound behind, only a few inches under the first one. It was deeper, bled more, but your loose shirt soaked up the blood diligently. 

‘I asked you a question,’ the monster spat, forcing you to look him in his sharp, silver eyes. His skin had the same glow as Theo had, but in his case, pretty and beautiful were the last things on your mind when you tried to read his facial expressions. ‘Where. Is. H—’

You didn’t realize you were screaming until a pair of strong arms pulled you away from the dark elf and familiar, calloused palms cupped your cheeks, redirecting your focus. With utmost gentleness, Theo wiped away your tears and pressed his lips against your forehead, not letting you go.

‘I’m so sorry, sweetheart,’ he mumbled against your skin right before he pulled away and assessed your injuries. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he repeated, sliding his right palm on the cuts on your neck tentatively.

Theo’s magic coursed through you; however, it didn’t hurt like it did when your neighbors’ son used his power on you, nor did it resemble a strike of electricity such as when your sister healed your wounds. The half-elf’s magic was warm like a blanket. It not only took care of your injuries, but also comforted your soul.

Admittedly a little light-headed, you let Theo pull your head against his firm chest and keep you there while you were looking out of your head. Somewhere in the back of your head, you knew that there had to be a dark elf nearby, or at least the remains of such a creature. Slowly but surely you could recall the knife that had pierced through the monster’s abdomen while you had been still held at blade point. The main reason you had been screaming hadn’t been the shock, but the pain you had felt in your side…

You dragged your hand to the area that you remembered should have been in pain and pulled away from Theo in panic when you could feel the hole in your shirt. You looked down and saw that the fabric was red. Yet, when your fingers finally sneaked under the textile, they touched nothing but smooth skin. You furrowed your brow in confusion.

‘How?’

‘I healed it. There was no other way, but I healed it as soon as I had you in my arms,’ the boy claimed and you looked up at him, lips parted in wonder.

Maybe, you should have been mad at him for putting your life at risk without hesitation. The old you would have definitely screamed anyone else’s head off for less than this and still, as you looked into his worried eyes, that were desperately searching for forgiveness, you reached out to his face and smiled up at him.

‘Thank you. For saving me,’ you whispered like a secret and brushed a silly, stubborn mop of hair behind his ear at the same time he did the same to you. It made you giggle despite the horrific happenings and upon hearing your laugh, Theo’s eyes lit up like a birthday cake.

With what had you deserved someone like him in your life?

With what had you deserved to be alive in the first place?

‘I’ll always save you,’ the rider declared, pulling you in his lap. It was then that you actually noticed you had been both sitting in the dirt all along. It was also the first time that your gaze fell on your attacker’s corpse lying behind Theo mere meters away from you. You pressed your chin into his shoulder and shut your eyes. The whimper that escaped your mouth was unintentional. ‘Shh. I won’t let anyone take you away from me. I promise you. No one can hurt you.’

You wanted to say thank you over and over again. You also wanted to reassure him that you knew you could trust him with your life and today’s happenings hadn’t planted any doubt about him in your mind. He had saved you; how he had done it, what path he had chosen did not affect your opinion. You had long made peace with how cruel the world really was. You couldn’t have afforded to see it only in black and white anymore.

‘Theo…’ The plea that broke out from your throat sounded pathetic even to you, but the rider didn’t seem to mind it or find it as ridiculous as you did.

No, when he put his index finger under your chin and encouraged you to open your eyes, all you could see was determination on his face. You assumed he wanted to prove it to you that he meant every world. He hardly had any other reasons to look so hell-bent at that moment. Maybe the way you phrased your reassurance hadn’t been as fierce as you had intended it to be. It might have come out hesitant due to your shock.

‘I mean it. You know why?’ You didn’t know why, but you didn’t shake your head, nor did you voice out your confusion. Of course, you had assumptions such as the deal you two had made, but somehow, saying out loud that you were a contract to him felt so wrong. Especially after he had saved you from a dark elf instead of looking in the other direction. ‘Because I care about you,’ he confessed, casting a metaphorical spell on you with how he wetted his lips after the last word fell from them.

You couldn’t look away. You couldn’t move. But if you wanted to be honest, you didn’t want to either. Especially when Theo destroyed the distance between your lips slowly albeit steadily, and you could taste yourself on his tongue as he licked into your mouth with ease. The kiss you shared wasn’t eager. He didn’t rush you or push you too hard. He let the moment drag out, then allowed your lungs to fill themselves with fresh air before he dived in once more.

Your lips tingled by the time you stopped kissing and your heart was dangerously close to an explosion. If you hadn’t known better, you would have thought something wasn’t quite right with the heightened reaction it pulled out of you, but you were aware that it was merely the consequence of your inexperience. You had never been kissed before; but you were glad that Theo could be your first. Your second and third.

You lost count of how many times he captured your lips before your stomach demanded some of his attention, too, and reminded both of you of the fish he had promised you.

That night, the half-elf called your lips his dessert when the dinner was gone.

A lot changed after that day; meanwhile, it felt as though you came across the same, hopeless sight whenever you stumbled upon an area that should have been populated: piles of ashes, half-burned houses, death. You didn’t know how it was possible that every time you chose a direction, you ended up at a dead end; however, you couldn’t deny what was right in front of you. You couldn’t deny the lack of survivors and all that misery.

‘Maybe we should go back west?’ You asked after you arrived at another abandoned village. You admitted, you hadn’t been thinking about your family that much nowadays, but the sight of what was undoubtedly a hunter’s hut reminded you of your father, and your longing for him, your mother and Nobara returned with great intensity.

Why were you still marching towards the eastern border when you had wanted to turn back a week ago? Did you have any reason to believe that they had come so far from your home without you?

‘We should go east like we agreed on,’ Theo protested, and while his voice was gentle and the kiss he pressed against your lips light as a feather, something inside your chest felt tight as you nodded.

Oh. How could you have forgotten that you had agreed on that direction because of… What was your reason for heading east? There must have been a reason, a good one on top of that, otherwise, you wouldn’t have said yes. Why had you said yes? Suddenly, going east made no sense.

But then, Theo took your hand and pulled you towards his horse. He stole one more kiss from your lips before he helped you climb on the animal, and the two of you galloped in the previously agreed direction. East.

It took the doubtful voice inside your head a couple of miles to quiet down, but when it did, it became easy to lean into Theo’s body and let him guide you towards your next destination. If it hadn’t been for the dizziness you felt whenever you closed your eyes while riding his horse, you might have fallen asleep in his arms; his closeness was that soothing to you by that point. Or was it the soft melody he was humming into your ear that effortlessly calmed your nerves?

You wouldn’t have been surprised if your acceptance had been a result of both. Or the love confession that was oozing from every gesture he made.

The thought that something was really wrong with how pliant you were in the half-elf’s arms somehow didn’t cross your mind even when your eyes fell on the military camp near the eastern border. What you felt instead while you were getting closer and closer to the huge, black and silver tents was confusion. Did Theo not realize that these were the colors of the enemy? Of those creatures who had destroyed so much already and might not have planned to stop until your whole kingdom was in ashes.

At the first sight of actual dark elves in the area - a part of you hoped until the last moment that what you came across was an abandoned camp -, your body became tense and all you wanted to do was run away.  However, with Theo’s arms around your petite body, it wasn’t as easy as it should have been. Couldn’t he see what you were seeing? Shouldn’t he have felt their presence?

‘Theo, I really don’t think we should keep going,’ you spoke up eventually, your voice barely above a whisper. ‘Maybe they haven’t seen us yet. It’s not too la—’

‘It’s okay, just calm down, sweetheart,’ he cut you off while simultaneously turning you into jelly with his hot breath fanning over the juncture between your neck and shoulder. Even though you pressed your lips together in mild frustration, your body immediately shrank to a smaller size, hence the rider’s chin on top of your head caged you in that much more.

You still felt safe in Theo’s closeness, but it was different somehow. With all those elves suddenly having their eyes on you, with the cogs in your brain spinning at a restless speed, you couldn’t put your finger on what was so off. After all, as far as you were concerned, fear and anxiety were natural reactions to danger. Then, it hit you: as you were helped down from Theo’s horse, your heart wasn’t at the verge of a panic attack. Why wasn’t your heart about to explode? You two had no chance against a smaller army of powerful magic users.

You had no way out now that so many of them were aware of your presence in their territory. Hell, you had walked into their camp like you had the right to be there.

You curled your fingers and let your nails dig into the soft flesh of your palms. Why was your heartbeat so slow?

You didn’t have too much time to dwell on it, though, because the next thing you knew was Theo’s calloused fingers in-between yours and a strong pull that demanded your attention. Oh. You were walking more into the camp.

‘Taeyang. It has been a while,’ a beautiful woman… No, a beautiful dark elf exclaimed with little to no enthusiasm, her gray eyes loitering over the rider for a couple of seconds before they fell on you. You gulped, and she dismissed you with a frown. ‘You have never shown up at the northern frontline. Is this your reason?’

This. Not you, not a human being, not even a magicless creature. This. The elf couldn’t have made it any more obvious that you were worth nothing to her.

You resisted the urge to take a step back and hid behind Theo’s back. Instead, you stayed still and quiet in hopes of not drawing too much attention, although it must have been too late already. The crowd around you was big enough; you honestly doubted there was anyone in the camp who wasn’t witnessing the happenings. The tense conversation between this beautiful woman and Th… Taeyang.

Why did this new name hurt you so much?

‘Only partly, my queen,’ Taeyang said as soon as he went down on one knee, leaving you exposed to the spectators and making you feel unprotected. Your hands were shaking, but not as much as they should have and your damned heart was still at ease as if it had been on a silly mission, trying to please the rider next to you. ‘She is a survivor of the massacres in the forest villages. No one other than me could feel her presence while we passed her by even though she is not good at hiding. This ability is a threat to our plans. I apologize. I had to investigate before sending words to you, my queen,’ the boy explained and his words should have crushed you, but you couldn’t feel the heartache as though your heart was incapable of anything else but remaining calm.

The woman gave you another once-over with a bit more interest this time.

‘She is still alive. Did you not find the answers?’ She inquired, her white locks falling into her face as she put her elbow onto the armrest of her chair and rested her chin on top of the back of her hand. She looked so bored while she was asking for the reason why you were still alive.

‘She means no threat, my queen. In fact, the reason why she managed to escape is that she is so insignificant, our kind completely dismisses her existence. There is not even a drop of magic in her body,’ the half-elf explained before he quickly added: ‘However, she is obedient. She is my slave now.’

‘Are you sure it’s not the other way around, Theo?’ Someone from the mass asked and it did not take too long before your eyes found the golden-haired dark elf who dared to interrupt the conversation between Taeyang and the unamused royalty. He radiated annoyance and pride as he walked up to your trio. ‘Because I saw you protecting this human and killing your kind. Like a lapdog, waiting for their owner’s treats and compliments for doing such a good job.’

The golden-haired elf scoffed and spat on the grass right in front of the rider’s feet.

‘I see.’ It was the queen talking, dismissing the second elf with a simple wave of her hand. If the circumstances had been different, you would have admired her for the power she held - up until that moment you hadn’t even known the Dark Elves had a female rules -, but the situation was everything you would have rather avoided and you had no respect for anyone who talked about human life the way she did. ‘Let’s see how important she is then.’

For the first time in hours, your heart skipped a beat in panic, and you wondered whether it was deliberate or if it was your own anxiety at all that you were experiencing. Why would your heart have suddenly decided to act up when it malfunctioned during this whole drama? If anyone, it should have been Taeyang who felt scared and jittery due to the woman’s vague declaration. After all, you had been a dead human the moment the boy had brought you here. His future, however, most likely depended on the next couple of minutes.

‘What do you wish me to do, my queen?’ Taeyang inquired and you tilted your head as you allowed yourself to really look at him. He didn’t seem nervous and his voice was also too stable for your liking, but his thumb was tapping on his little finger every ten seconds, so your assumption could have been right. You might have actually gotten better at reading him, you concluded, which, for some reason, made you feel proud.

Never in your life had your emotions confused you this much. Nothing made any sense to you anymore. The lack of disappointment, the barely there fear, that damned calmness. Not a single thing.

‘You say she is obedient. I want to see just how obedient she can be,’ the queen answered, not giving too many hints to the half-elf; however, one look at the boy’s firm jawline was enough to you to know he had gotten the message you had unsurprisingly missed.

‘Your wish is my command, my queen,’ the half-elf insisted before he stood up and turned towards you with his entire body.

The brewing storm in his gray eyes clashed with your calm. You were so stuck in the bubble your staring contest created, you didn’t realize the weight of the moment until you heard a familiar voice calling your name.

‘No, no. She can’t be here. You can’t be here, noh-ho…’ your sister cried out, her crazed eyes growing three times their usual size the moment she saw you. The lump in your throat felt big and hairy as you continuously tried and failed to swallow it down.

Why was she here?

‘Don’t move,’ were the first words that left Taeyang’s mouth; you felt both surprised and not when your body shut down and your limbs refused to move. You also didn’t know what to think about your defleating need to be close to your family. Up until that moment, your yearning for your sister’s closeness might have been flickering but constant. Now, when you were finally at an arm’s length from her, you just didn’t know what you wanted. If you had still wanted to hug her. If you should have still wanted her in your life and it unnerved you: that your feelings felt so foreign all of a sudden.

You furrowed your brows and looked up at the rider. What was happening to you?

‘That girl over there…’ the half-elf started as he cupped your cheeks and turned your head in your sister’s direction. Nobara was crying like the world was about to end, but unlike a few seconds before, now she was restricted by magical ropes that had grown from the ground. ‘She wants me dead. And you can’t lose me, can you, sweetheart?’ Theo asked and you could feel your heart clench at the thought of the half-elf’s death, hence you shook your head frantically. No. For some reason, you couldn’t lose him. ‘You have to protect me,’ he whispered into your ear before he pecked your lips.

Theo stepped away from you a moment later, but not before he pushed a knife into your hand. Your body, led by your determined heart, moved on automatic as you walked up to your si… to Theo’s enemy.

‘You freaking cowards. Just kill me, you hear me! Kill me. Don’t make her do it!’ The faintly familiar girl was screaming from the top of her lungs, making you wonder why the hell did she look so sad despite the curses. Shouldn’t she have been angry or scared?

With one precise cut on her neck and no free hands to put pressure on the wound, the girl fell on her knees and choked on her blood as she said:

‘S’ rr.’

Lacking further instructions, you could almost taste a small part of your free will on the tip of your tongue. Tears immediately blurred your vision, then soaked your cheeks and you didn’t even know why.

‘Oh, sweetheart.’ Theo’s palm was warm against your cheek, his gentle caresses pacifying the raging frustration in your soul. Devastated and confused, but still sort of detached, you let him pull your head against his chest and buried your face in his loose shirt. Something was wrong, something was seriously wrong with you and this situation, and you needed him to tell you what had just happened. ‘You still don’t get it, do you?’

You really didn’t, and you shook your head to signal that you had no idea what was going on. You hoped it would be enough for the half-elf to have mercy on you and fill you in on the details.

Theo pressed his lips against the crown of your head and let out a sigh-laugh.

‘Your theory about soulmates… It wasn’t completely wrong,’ he started, mumbling into your hair. Your heart picked up its rate in excitement and you pulled away from him only a little, just to be able to see his beautiful face. ‘You were meant for me. I’m the successor of your heart. You gave it to me willingly.’

You furrowed your brows, admittedly unsure of what he had meant by that, but then he put his hand on your chest, right above your heart and the warmth lulled you into a state that felt so satisfying, it overpowered your need to understand just how literal his words could have been. You had confessed that you both cared about each other. Sure, it couldn’t have meant more than two unsure I love yous.

You loved him. He loved you.

‘You are dismissed,’ you could hear the queen’s voice from somewhere on your right, but you didn’t turn in her direction until she asked her men to clean up the mess. Then, you snapped your head in  her way without meaning to, and your eyes found the dead girl on the ground once more.

Nobara.

Your lips trembled at the sight of her lifeless body, but before you could have thought too much into your body’s unconscious reaction, Theo pulled you away from the scene.

You were sitting on the edge of the half-elf’s queen-sized bed, swinging your feet back and forth while you were waiting for him to bring you food. The tent that had been assigned to the two of you had the size of a smaller bedroom, which reminded you of people whose faces might have been familiar, but meant close to nothing to you.

You had an inkling feeling, that one of them was related to the dead girl somehow. You just couldn’t quite pinpoint the connection.

‘I hope you like rabbit meat,’ Theo exclaimed with a wide grin as soon as he entered the tent. He had two plates in one hand and a jug of iced water in the other, but he still managed to close the curtain door flawlessly to maintain your privacy.

‘I do,’ you reassured him and took one of the plates from him, placing the porcelain on your lap. The food smelled delicious, and it made you contemplate whether you should have asked any of those questions that had been on your mind while he had been gone. You didn’t want to ruin your dinner when it was your first time eating from actual plates, far from the horrific massacres of…

You furrowed your brows. Just a moment ago, you had been convinced that you were safe at this campsite. However, weren’t they the same monsters who had killed all those people you had never gotten the chance to speak to? Villages robbed and burned to the ground, innocent people killed at their own homes. These crimes had been committed by Dark Elves. You had been almost killed by a dark elf. So why were you so calm about staying at their tent?

And why were you so affected yet unaffected by that dead girl whose bled-out body stuck in your head for no goddamn reason?

‘Theo… Can I ask you something?’ You spoke up in a small voice, only continuing when the boy gave you the green light with the most precious smile you had ever seen on his face.

‘When it’s just the two of us, you can ask anything, sweetheart,’ he said as he wiped some of the juice off his lips with his thumb and sucked his finger clean with his eyes on you. 

You gulped, determined to stay focused.

‘About the dead girl… Who is she? I feel like she is someone important to m—’

Before you could have finished your sentence, Theo grabbed both of your arms and turned you towards himself. Your food, half-eaten and sad, fell on the floor dirtying not only the rugs but your left foot, too. Could it have been that the rider’s “anything” did not include that girl? It definitely seemed so.

You swallowed down the bile that was creeping up in your throat. Your eyeballs were moving from left to right repeatedly in desperation. You had never meant to upset him. You had just wanted to know why your heart was so calm while the cogs inside your brain tried to remind you of something important.

‘Look in my eyes,’ Theo demanded and you willed yourself to focus on one single point on his face instead of trying to take everything in: the small twitches of his jawline, the flaring of his nostrils. ‘From now on, I’ll be the only one you’ll think about. Noone else, only me, you hear me? I’ll be the only one on your mind,’ he said firmly.

Your lips parted for a soft protest, but no words made it through them. And a couple of seconds later, you couldn’t even pinpoint why you would have wanted to think about anybody else but your soulmate. Because Theo was your soulmate, he had to be. There was no other explanation for the warmth you felt in your chest whenever his eyes bored into yours so lovingly.

When the silence stretched long enough for the half-elf to break it, you let him feed you with his own food and also followed him towards the barrel in the back of the tent that was filled with warm water for bathing. A distant memory about how shy you had felt when a few of your boy neighbors had showed up at the stream you had been playing in with your… with someone close to you popped up in your mind, but it disappeared just as quickly, and with that, your reason to ask for some privacy.

‘Come here, sweetheart, and put your hands up for me,’ the half-elf asked and you did as he said with a happy smile, letting him help you out of your clothes and wash your body with a soft cloth while you were sitting in the enormous barrel. These were activities you could have done on your own, a faint voice in your head tried to remind you; however, you shut its nagging out easily and leaned your head back against the edge of the barrel with a content sigh. It felt so nice to be taken care of.

To not have to worry about what was next, because Theo was there for you to make those decisions on your behalf with your best interest in mind.

To be guided and told when the water was starting to get too cold, and be wrapped in a warm towel afterwards. Like this, being carried to your shared bed, it was easy to only think about Theo. To only want to be embraced by Theo.

To live for your soulmate.

‘My beautiful sweetheart. You must be tired, hm? It was such an exhausting day,’ the half-elf mumbled against the top of your head after he tucked you under the blankets and pulled you against his chest. He was stroking your hair slowly, making you hesitant whether you should have told him you didn’t want to sleep.  

It didn’t matter, not anymore. And maybe he knew your body better than you knew yourself anyway. Because you did fall asleep the moment he said:

‘Sleep, my love. I promise you, no one will dare to hurt you until you’re here with me.’

the end.

#theo x reader #taeyang x reader #theo x you #taeyang x you #p1harmony scenarios #p1harmony theo #p1harmony x you #ssbyme #soulmate au #dark fairytale-ish #definitely not a sweet story #p1harmony taeyang

[lala1267]

Cocaine Candy

Summary: A young girl named Candice (candy for short) has a criminal lifestyle all thanks to her gangster bf, drugs, alcohol, you name it. Her mother, Kathy, sings for Elvis Presley. Ever since Candy was 8, she has known him, but as the years flew by and her behaviour worsened, Elvis noticed. He couldn't let this happen.

Warnings: drugs, mentions of guns, doing illegal stuff at a young age. Age gap between Elvis and Candy.

Sweet like candy and sour like toxic waste. Her toffee coulered hair and her emerald green eyes. Candice, she was. But she was known as "candy." She was a good girl. She had a healthy household and a good mentality. She was a kind eight year old girl who would never break any rules. She was a daisy fresh girl that would parade around in pink summer dresses as her caramel hair was decorated with pearl white bows. She would send a bright light into her mother's eyes as she would dance and sing around the house. Her purity was precious, and her softeness was fragile. Whoever was in her presence would feel her heavenly energy radiating from her golden heart like a force field. She would sit in the garden, buried in the floral flowers and thick grass. She would return to her house after a day of playing with the neighbourhood kids. She would smell like the fresh summer air, and her hair would be messy like medusas. Her mother would have to spend a good half an hour every night, picking little flowers and twigs out of her hair.

Her mother, Kathy, was one of the background singers for Elvis Presley. She was known for her high-pitched singing. This meant that candice would often see and stay with Elvis if her mother was busy. They would have Christmas dinners every year and bbq's every summer. She would spend nights at Graceland with Elvis's daughter, Lisa. They would play together every day. Lisa was five years younger than her, but that didn't stop their friendship. If only she stayed little forever.

Candy's innocence was preascious, but she would soon unfold the hidden and dark truths of the outside world. It was only a matter of time.

Candy was now fifteenteen. Her life was great, she was still pure and happy.

She walked in the school corridor. Her black school shoes clicking against the shiny floor as she held her books over her chest. She was very pretty, but she remained in the shadows. She stopped once she got to her locker. Her fingers fiddled and twisted the lock until it clicked and opened. She placed her books neatly in her locker before shutting it.

She was startled when she felt a large hand lay on her shoulder. Her body turned, and so did her head. To her suprise, she was met with Miles. He was one of the most handsome guys in the school. He was seventeen. He was dark-skinned. He had dreads that hung over his forehead, and his body was inked out with tattoos. He was a gangster. He was in a gang, a pretty famous one. He was a Blood. His gang had been having a war with The Crips for the longest time. It wasn't unusual to hear occasional gunshots coming from Miles's housing estate. He always carried a gun with him, so it was no suprise that Candy could see a huge bulge just above his belt line.

She felt her face heat up as she looked at his figure. She had always liked him, but this was the first time that she had spoken to him or even been this close to him. His dark brown eyes shot her down as an alluring grin plastered over his face. His cheeks dimpled at the sight of her.

"Well hey lil mama."

He said with his deep raspy voice. Candy tried her best to regurgitate a word from her cherry red lips but her body kept on denying her. He looked at her up and down with the same grin.

"You don't talk much. Don't worry, imma make you scream my name tonight, I'm throwing a party. You better not miss it."

He said as his eyes turned dark and menacing. He placed a peice of white paper in Candy's hand with the info for the party scribbled onto it. He walked away and disappeared with his group of gangster friends. Candy was just left gobsmacked as her bambi eyes stared at the note in her hands in awe.

The evening

Candy was standing infront of her mirror, holding up two party dresses that she had found. One of them was a bright tropical orange that was studded with shiny fake diamonds. It was quite short in length but it was pretty. The second one was a baby blue that had white glittery trims. It was thrilly at the bottom and almost childlike. She turned around and threw the blue dress on her bed before getting changed into the orange one.

She looked at her reflection with a smile on her face. It hugged her figure perfectly. It tucked in her baby fat and exentuated her pre-mature hips. It travelled to the middle of her thighs, making her sun-kissed legs more prominent and sexy. She sat down in front of her vanity before doing her hair and makeup. She went for a classic 60s double winged eyeliner with pastel orange eyeshadow. Her hair was in a beautiful blowout, making her look godly. She began to pack some things in a small handbag that she had 'borrowed' from her mother. She put some spare makeup into the bag and some other random things. She looked into her reflection one more time. She knew that her mother wouldn't let her go to the party, especially dressed like this at her young age. But that's why she wasn't going to tell her.

After successfully sneaking out and arriving at the party, she walked up to the entrance. It was a house, bright neon lights shot out of the windows and music blared. She walked in, and her eyes widened. Many teens from her school were there. Some of which were aggressively grinding on eachover. Ew. She pushed and shoved past the hundreds of intoxicated people as she pulled a face. She soon saw Miles, he saw her too. His tall figure made its way towards her until he was towering over her. He was wearing blue jeans that were kept in place with his designer belt . His plane white t-shirt added to his handsomeness. Without warning, he bent his head down until his alchohol drenched lips met with her pretty red ones. Her eyes widened, but she didn't pull away. The smell of his cologne and the taste of the alchohol only made her want more. He pulled away and looked at her pretty pink cheeks as his hand was kept secure on her small waist. Candy looked up at him with a gleam in her eye. Pink love hearts fluttered around him in her vision.

"Glad you made it, I was boutta go out lookin' for you."

He said before taking a puff of his hydroponic weed. Candy smiled at him before her wandering eyes watched him blow a cloud of smoke from his plush lips. It smelt very earthy yet strong. He looked at her as a smile formed on his lips. He stook his hand out, holding the spliff, waving it in her face.

"You want some?"

He asked. Candy looked at it and then back up at him.

"Oh, uh."

"I'll take that as a yes."

He said before shoving it between her lips and watching her inhale it. It left a slight burn as the smoke travelled through her throat and spread across her lungs. She breathed it out smoothly. Suddenly, she felt her tense muscles loosen and her crossed arms unfold. She smiled at him, her eyelids dropping ever so slightly. Miles looked down at her with a grin.

The night unfolded, and so did Candy. Her layers pealed off like pretty fragile petals. She sat on Miles's lap on a sofa, away from the other drunkards. She was smiling and laughing, talking and giggling. The neon lights felt like epileptic as the music sounded like white noise. She could feel her blood rushing and her heart beating as she chatted with Miles. His hands stroked her thigh as she threw herself over him like a ragdoll. Her lipstick was smeared, and her eyes were bloodshot. It was truly a euphoric feeling as the weed dripped into her brain gradually. This was the day when she knew that Miles was the one, her one.

She stumbled into her house, barley retaining her balance as she did so. She kicked off her heels. Her bloodshot eyes scanned the house before she stumbled to the stairs. She was on all fours as she tried to climb the stairs, which seemed like Mount Everest to her. She finally made it to her room and threw her body onto the bed as she turned numb. Her eyelids drifted shut as her body powered off. All of the neon lights, music, kissing. It was all gone. Everything was black.

From that day forward, she would go out every night and become one with the druggies and drunkards. She would run away until the dark night with Miles. She wouldn't go one weekend without plastering her ass all over miles as her intoxicated brain shut down. She would give men butterflies as she batted her cartoon eyes. They would smoke, drink, and steal. She was scandalous and evil. She would look for trouble and get high for free, street walk at night and a star by the day. Candy had turned into a monster, all thanks to Miles.

Candy walked to school with Miles, of course. She hugged his waist as his had slung over her shoulders. She looked down at the gun that was tucked into his belt. Her eyes shifted back up to him.

"I like how ya carry that gun, its sexy."

She said with a cheeky grin. He looked down at her with the same grin.

"I need it. Anyone could shoot me right now, I gotta be ready."

The thought of him getting shot and dying never really occurred to Candy. It was always overshadowed by her love for him. On occasions, he would have to dress himself in all black and grab his gun before leaving a party. He would say,

"It's just business that I need to fix."

Candy knew what he was doing. She just pretended not to hear the gunshots that echoed through the cold, damp streets.

She looked at him.

"Well, let's hope they don't shoot ya-"

She said before she was interrupted by a car honking. Both of their eyes shifted to the expensive cadillac. Candy's eyes scanned the inside of the car. The window rolled down to reveal Elvis. He was dressed rich as always, and he was wearing his signature sunny's.

"Get in this car, Candice."

He said sternly. Candy looked at him through her furrowed brows.

"I'm clearly busy. Sorry."

She said with a slight sass in her tone. Miles and Candy carried on walking until they were stopped again.

"Candice, I said get in car, now."

Elvis said, slightly raising his voice.

"Ok, gosh."

Candy said as she rolled her eyes. She got on her tiptoes and placed a sweet kiss on Miles's lips before getting in the car. Elvis began to drive at a fast speed.

"So are you gonna tell me why I'm in your car, or what."

She said. Elvis looked at her before shifting his eyes back to the road.

"We need a little talk at my place."

He said. His voice was hauntingly raspy. She decided to shut her mouth as she could see his fury building.

She walked into Graceland as Elvis followed. It was amazing as usual. The diamond chandler and the pure white carpet gave life to the house. Elvis escorted her over to the living room. He pointed his finger towards the sofa, urging her to sit. She did just that.

Elvis pulled a stool out and sat directly in front of her. His eyes shot her down as she was left confused and a little intimidated.

"Ok, so."

Elvis said. Her bambi eyes stared at him in curiosity as she sat put on the comfy sofa that wasn't so comfy under Elvis' glare.

"I need to talk to you about your behaviour these last few months."

Her brows furrowed as she looked at him through her eyelashes.

"You've started to become one of those naughty kids. It ain't a good look, doll."

She looked at him and pulled a face before crossing her arms.

"Don't be like that, you know I'm right. You've been doing some bad things, don't think I don't know. I see you with that gangster boyfriend of yours smoking. He's a bad influence on ya, doll."

Elvis said as his head moved from side to side in disapproval. She looked at him, her jaw wide, and her feelings offended.

"My boyfriend is not a bad influence!"

She snapped like venom.

"He is. Ever since you met him, you've been drugged up or doing some stupid shit with him. It's not healthy."

She swallowed harshly at his words. Her crossed arms relaxed as her brows downturned. Her fingers entwined with eachover, like a knot.

"He is a good guy. He just likes to have fun."

She said quietly as she broke eyecontact. Elvis leaned forward, his eyes scanning every small detail of her face.

"It won't be very fun to see him shoot someone with that damn gun that he carries. He's in a gang goddammit! You ain't safe with him, sweetheart."

Elvis said harshly. His breath hit her face.

"He loves me, and I love him. That's all that matters."

She said as her eyes looked into his. Elvis' head shook once more as he kissed his tongue.

"I'm just trying to help you. Your mother is worried about you, and quite frankly, I am too."

Elvis said softly. His tone was much more relaxed. She looked up at him, her words ripped from her voice box. She didn't say anything. She knew that he was right. She couldn't fight the truth.

"I want you to stop seeing him."

Her heart shattered like glass as her veins burst, making an opening in her little grey heart.

"No! You ain't my momma!"

"Your momma is the one that wanted me to say this to you. Listen, if you don't leave him... then you're coming to live with me. That's final. Don't even try to argue because your momma has agreed to this."

She was too stunned to speak. A single tear rolled from her doll eyes and down her soft cheek. She looked at him in disbelief before standing up and leaving. The door slammed, and Elvis was left in the empty house. No noise, no people, just him. He stared at the spot that She had previously been sat in. He felt bad for her, but how else was she gonna change her ways.

The following school day

Candy walked hand in hand with Miles. Making sure not to let him go. Miles kissed her forehead as they walked. She looked up at him with a shimmer in her big eyes. Her eyelashes batted as she admired her boy, her gangster. He smelt of weed and alchohol, but that was the smell of love. She loved him, and no one was going to come between that, not even Elvis. She loved him with every inch of her cocaine heart. She loved his white powder lines and his collar greens. She loved his money and his gifts. She loved his AK-47s and his pistols. She loved him. They walked out of the school as the bell rang. She was following him like a lost puppy, as usual. She was like his shadow. He gripped her hand tightly as they walked along the sidewalk. A big smile was plastered on her delicate face. That same smile that lightened the sky up when she was a little girl. She looked up at him before placing a candy sweet kiss on his cheek that had a teardrop tattooed onto it. He looked down at her, his head bent down towards her face.

They were both suddenly interrupted by a loud car engine, moving dangerously close to them. Their heads turned to face the Cadillac. Candy's eyes looked the driver in the eyes. It was Elvis. She rolled her doll eyes and crossed her arms as she watched him get out of the car in a fit of rage. He looked scary. His fists were clenched, and his teeth were grinded. Miles looked him up and down before chuckling.

"Get in this goddamn car. Now."

He grunted as he took a step closer. She looked at him before looking up at Miles.

"No!"

She said as she stepped closer to Miles. Miles looked at Elvis before letting a laugh escape his mouth.

"Calm down, old man. You ain't gonna talk to my girl like that."

He said. His laugh was overshadowed by his anger that was slowly building up. Nobody was going to talk to his baby like that, not even Elvis Presley. Elvis scoffed before grabbing Candy's arm tightly. His grip was harsh, almost bruising. He dragged her towards the open car door. Miles looked at him in shock before reaching for his gun that was hidden in the waistband of his pants. But it was too late. Elvis had already shoved her in the car and sped off. Miles looked at the car as it drove into the distance. He felt a piece of his heart plummet into the depths of his soul. He let out a sigh as he stood there alone.

Meanwhile, in the car, Elvis was raging at Candy. His loud menacing voice was almost deafening.

"I told you that you aren't allowed to see that fucker again!"

His voice echoed around the car.

"You can't just stop me from seeing my boyfriend!"

She shouted back as tears escaped her glassy eyes. The salt water glistened on her cheeks, illuminating her face in the hot sun rays. His large hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Long veins coursed through his hands.

"Well, you know what's gonna happen now."

He said through his American white teethe. She looked up at him, her brows furrowed and her lip pouted.

"You can't just make me live with you. You can't just take me away from my family!"

She shouted.

"Oh yes, I can. Don't you know, your family are the ones that agreed to this. I'll teach ya a goddamn lesson."

She looked at him with her puppy eyes as warm salt water fell from them. Elvis always cared about Candy. He always had a soft spot for her. But she needed to be taught a lesson, and Elvis was the right person to punish her.

Graceland

Elvis gripped her arm harshly as he practically dragged her into the house since she was refusing. He let go of her once he closed the door. He threw his keys on the table and walked into the living room. He turned the television on and placed his jacket on the sofa. Candy stood there and looked at him curiously. He turned around to her, and his gaze softened. He slowly walked over to her before wrapping her in a big hug. His cologne lingered in her nose as his delicate touch softened her core.

"Aww, im sorry, baby. But you know that I have to keep you here, it's a request from your parents. Don't be upset."

He pulled away slightly to look down at her. His fingers ran through her soft, feathery hair as a soft smile played on his face. He leaned down and placed a kiss onto her forehead. Leaving behind his love. He held her hand softly before leading her upstairs.

"Come on baby, let's get you to your new room."

He said before opening the door to one of the guestrooms. He stepped inside with her. She looked around in awe. It was so pretty. It was painted pink and lined with dove white. It was girly and meant for a queen, like her. It was almost as if he had this room just for her. She walked over to the bed and sat herself down. She looked up at Elvis, who had a fatherly smile on his face. He sat next to her and draped his arm over her shoulder. He looked deeply into her eyes.

"Look, I know you will miss ya boyfriend, but you're gonna have to get used to it. You ain't gonna be seeing him again."

He said sweetly. She looked into his eyes. A look of sadness washed over her face like a tidal wave. Elvis' finger carresed her cheek softly and tilted her chin up towards him. His touch was heavenly, and his love was unearthly.

"Don't be sad, baby, I'll take good care of ya. I promise."

He said as the pad of his thumb played with her lips. She looked at him, and her eyes scanned his face.

"You're safe with me. Trust me."

He said before he got up. He tucked a hair behind her ear and placed a kiss on her forehead. He smiled sweetly before leaving the room. She watched him leave, and a smile cascaded her face slightly as some of her sadness washed away.

The next morning

Candy's eyes dwindled open as the sunrays played in her luscious hair. A warm summer breeze blew over her face, sending cherry blossoms through her veins. Elvis sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her with a smile. He was in a silk robe that let just the right amount of chest hair escape. His jet-black hair was messy.

"Good morning, doll."

He said. His morning voice was croaky and deep.

"Good morning, Elvis."

Candy said back before she yawned and stretched. She was so cute. Her hair was tangled, and her cheeks were puffy and pink. Elvis smiled.

"What would you like for breakfast?"

He inquired as his fingers played with her hair. She looked up at him with her glistening eyes.

"Can I have some cereal?"

She asked politely.

"Of course, baby."

He said before standing up. He walked over to the door and stopped in the doorway. He turned around to look at the sleeping beauty.

"I'll call you when it's ready."

He said before his shadow disappeared. Candy looked at the empty door way with her wandering eyes.

She sat in the dining room. She ate the rainbow cereal in silence. Elvis sat across from her and ate a pb&j sandwich. His eyes looked at her. She was so pretty in this state. Sun shining on her sun-kissed skin, pearly beady eyes, fresh and clean. She was like a dream.

"Is it good?"

Elvis asked.

"Mhm, very."

Candy said as she continued to eat. Elvis smiled slightly. He watched Candy finish the cereal. He stood up and picked her bowl up. He looked at her before bending down to her and wiping her milk moustache off with his hand. She giggled as he did this. He chuckled before walking over to the sink and placing the bowl in it. He turned back around to look at her.

"I want ya to go get changed. I brought you some dresses since you are staying with me. I wanna see how ya look in em."

He said.

"Ok."

She skipped up the stairs and into her room. She rummaged through the closet and pulled out a short white summer dress. She put it on. It perfectly exentuated her tanned legs and hugged her small waist. She went back downstairs to Elvis. He looked at her before a smile played on his face. His eyes wandered over her body before he commented.

"Ya look so pretty. My, my."

He said as he scanned the dress. Candy smiled slightly. Elvis was always close to her, but something about him just made him husband material to her.

"Thanks"

Candy said as she felt her soft cheeks heat up. Her fingers played with the soft thrilly ends of her dress. Elvis walked over to her until he was just inches away. His big hands found themselves around her waist, slowly wandering down to her hips. His alluring eyes looked down into her pretty beady ones. Candy's heart began to race.

"I don't want ya to ever think about that Miles guy, ya have me."

Elvis said in a raspy, low tone as his hands rubbed circles into her waist. She looked up at him and nodded in agreement. Elvis' face slowly inched closer to hers, almost as if he was going to kiss her. That's exactly what he did. His soft lips met with hers. Candy's heartbeat slowed as the world around her went silent. She felt as if time had stopped, and it was just her and Elvis in the world. Elvis' hands moved up to her face, gently cupping it as their tongues danced around eachover. She felt her eyes drift shut as they carried on. The summer breeze blew through the window and blew their hair back. The floating orbs around them became visible in the sunrays. Candy's hands moved to Elvis' neck, and she played with his black hair tactfully as they kissed. The birds sang a sweet melody, the war in Candy's mind ended, and the knot in her stomach undid itself. She kissed him until she saw stars in her eyes. He kissed her until his lips beckoned to be let go.

#elvis presley #fanfic #lana del rey #elvis the pelvis #fan fic writing #70s elvis #70s vintage #singers #60s elvis #please follow me #he loved her so much #true love #tumblr fyp #fypツ #elvis x you #elvis x reader #elvis presley x y/n #elvis presley x reader #daddy elvis #handsome older man #older man younger woman #gangster #lana del rey vinyl #venice bitch #70s aesthetic #elvis fans #daddy issues #cherry coke #cocaine gums #tw drugs

[barnbridges]

the only character outside the classics clique to be thoroughly associated with all of the deaths in the secret history is kathy corcoran.

the farmer is killed on kathy's birthday, which we can argue is the random and truly aleatory event that triggers the rest of the events that lead to bunny's death. kathy corcoran's birthday by itself has no meaning to neither the main cast, mcree or cosmology, but it becomes a central part of the irony of the events unfolding.

bunny, her son, is the second to be killed. both richard and us, the reader, are truly introduced to katherine corcoran through the events of her son's disappearance and funeral, and it is not a nice picture of a grieving mother that we see. kathy is high, kathy's a bad mother, kathy's ungrateful and shallow. her biggest pride and investment is the house she inhabits, which richard and henry describe as rubble and ash. she's devoid of love and pity for her offsprings (dead or alive), her husband or grandchildren.

henry's suicide, while not directly caused, is still bound up in artifacts of kathy's presence in the world of richard papen and the greek class. it's kathy's pills that henry urges for and charles refuses (even while not aware of their origin) to take, which parallel their prior interactions with the core of kathy herself (henry's quiet approval of the delusional grandiosity of the display-home, charles' not so quiet moral crisis at the corcorans' vanity and shallowness). she's never brought up by name, or passes richard's mind during the event itself, because by that point the chaos and paranoia of death is well-instilled within the greek class without a need to mention or think much of her, however, richard still does.

richard's attempt and charles' intuition oppositional to henry's suicide, is where we get the well-known manifestation of richard's personal guilt towards the part he himself had in the taking of her son's life ("would mrs. corcoran feel better if she knew this twist: that her stolen pills had killed her son’s killer?"), however these stolen pills lead to the death of henry, the other of her son's killers, haven't they? addition: charles, likewise, is not taken with the pills, even at his guiltiest and most chaotic) richard might have lived to tell another day (metanarrative-ly, answering that neither he, nor charles macaulay, were, perhaps not, the killer that those pills were meant for). richard survives his attempt to see another day (notably, going from darkness when he attempts to dawn when he realizes he has, indeed, failed), in spite of the invoked potency of the pills, meanwhile henry dies a fighter's death after a struggle of 12 hours. charles gets another strain of sickness (probably induced by henry, but that's another discussion), but does indeed also live to tell the tale. richard is not dead, but when he wished he was, he wonders what she would have thought of it, and henry is the one who'd have found out.

outside of the events of the novel itself, kathy, by name, links herself to two other characters in the novel who might or might not share the same symbolism of death:

"a girl from california, whom we will call kathy", the memory of an unpleasant relationship richard had with a classmate at his unnamed previous college, never to appear in the narrative. this one off mention of kathy is the only time richard admits to "changing" a name in the narrative for anonymity, and it likewise is triggered by bunny, whose mother richard doesn't yet have a name for at 20, but that the 27-year old richard remembers. the overlap is never addressed or explained, just like the relationship between this girl and richard and what happened in it per say. it perhaps could be an artistic license on the author's part and not mean anything, but if we are to look at the text as is... one has to wonder why would richard call his ex the name of an admittedly rotten and uncaring matriarch linked to death almost as much as she is to life;

"she was christened mary katherine, a name which has fallen more and more into disuse", kathy's own son names the first girl child in their clan for generations after her, his mother. a child, one born with a special circumstance as well, would seem antithetical to the thesis of that ole' kathy herself is a symbol of death, but even the epilogue-child must invoke death in the world of richard papen. not only is the child born out of the very specific circumstance that bunny is dead (as, if he hadn't died, marion wouldn't have married brady corcoran), but she likewise bears his nickname, bunny. a child bearing the name of a family member is not uncommon, but thought to be in poor taste when we speak of the name belonging to someone whose life ended unnaturally. the name of katherine seems, that even in a young child, cannot keep itself from clinging to the dead.

but what is death, after all, but a mother, is a generative act.

it seems contradictory, that a mother and grandmother (and a fruitful one at that) gets linked to such an association, but isn't everything in the world, especially when it comes to bunny corcoran, inverted and twisted?

much like her progeny, kathy represents certain elements of fate and mysticism bound to the chase of the aesthetic, the morbid longing for the picturesque, and that death itself is part of the discussion of how aesthetic a gucci room featured on house beautiful can be.

#tsh #the secret history #henry winter #richard papen #bunny corcoran #this one is so rambly but i just think so much #of lady death herself fucking kathy #death is a middle aged high woman in connecticut named katherine #who is a pill mom like richard papen himself

[otdiaftg]

The Raven King - Chapter Six

Day: Saturday, September 9th Time: 5:30 PM EST

The stranger sat across from Neil. Neil didn't recognize the man, but he didn't need to ask. The black three tattooed on his left cheekbone meant he could be no one but Jean Moreau. He was the Ravens' starting backliner and supposedly an old friend of Kevin's. There was nothing friendly on his face tonight. "You look familiar," Jean said in heavily accented English. "If you watched Kathy's show you saw me there," Neil said. "Ah, you are right. That must be it. What was your name again? Alex? Stefan? Chris?" For a moment Neil thought he'd fallen over. He felt the world lurch out from under him and take his stomach with it. A second or minute or eternity later he realized he hadn't moved at all. He wasn't even breathing. In eight years on the run Neil had been through sixteen countries and twenty-two names. Hearing one name from Jean wouldn't mean anything. Hearing three wasn't a coincidence. It was a threat. Andrew had warned Neil Riko would unearth his trail no matter how well he and his mother buried it. Neil feared that eventuality, but he hadn't wanted to believe it. It sometimes took his father years to catch up with them. It was impossible to think Riko succeeded in just two weeks. Coaxing air back into his lungs was the hardest thing Neil had ever done. It was a miracle his breath sounded so steady when his throat was closing up. "It's Neil." "Hmm?" Jean titled his head to one side as if that would help him see Neil better. "You don't look much like a Neil." "Blame my mother," Neil said. "She named me." "How is she doing, by the way?" Riko asked. Neil looked into Riko's dark eyes and felt like he was dying.

Art used with permission by Emry-Stars-Art. Thank you @emry-stars-art

#aftg #all for the game #neil josten #trk #the raven king #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #palmetto state university #psu foxes #andreil #on this day in aftg #otdiaftg #palmetto state foxes #otdi all for the game #nora sakavic #the foxes #on this day in all for the game #kevin day #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #coach wymack #betsy dobson #abby winfield #matt boyd #dan wilds #renee walker #allison reynolds #artists #emry-stars-art

[liveyourlastbreath]

Neil Josten’s adventures in Exy as an (unwilling) Amputee (PT3)

Holy cow the response to this au has been amazing, thank you all so much!

Riko saunters onto the stage like the bitch that he is (i hate him very much)

because this is my au and I can do what I want, when Kevin sits back down basically on top of Neil, Neil has an out-of-character moment and grabs Kevin’s fist that is crushed between their bodies, hoping that it’s enough to keep him from bolting live on air

Riko and Neil are just that one meme, ya know, the one

Somehow this conversation also happens, and Neil seriously considers taking up Wymacks idea of beating someone over the head with his leg

Kathy: So Riko, what are your opinions on Neil being the first amputee playing in Class 1 Exy? 

Riko: I think it makes the Foxes more of a joke than they already are.

Kathy: So you think it’s a bad idea

Riko: I think it’s a risk

Neil: I mean we already have Kevin, what was it I was saying about starting over from the gutters? 

Neil is really tempted to bring his leg up between Riko’s when he’s slammed against the wall.

Riko: I don’t approve of cripples, Kevin. You need to get rid of him as soon as possible, save the little dignity your team has left.

Kevin: He has potential, you saw him last night. He played just as well as any of them.

Riko turning on Kevin is Neil’s last straw, because I’d like to think in this au, their hand and leg bring them closer together faster, they really do understand what it’s like to start over, to relearn something everyone else has known since birth

So he grabs Riko’s shirt and throws him back harder than in cannon. Meaner than in the book because he’s beyond caring about his own safety, and he just really wants to hit something

Riko slams into Neil and sends him tripping into wires, tangling up his leg and making it impossible to get away. Neil’s hands are already clawing off his leg when Riko pulls back to swing

And then Andrew is there with Neil’s now detached leg, the sole of the shoe backing him away from Kevin and Neil. Neil is up on his foot and away from Riko as soon as he can find his balance hopping on his one foot

Andrew doesn’t give Neil back his leg, so aids are watching as Kevin holds up a hopping Neil as they get back to the team. 

“The fuck did your leg go?” “I think Andrews using it as a bat”

Andrew passes it back to Neil with a lingering touch and a bored expression. No blood on the foot, that’s a good thing, doesn’t explain why Andrew’s touch lingered or why there’s goosebumps on Neil’s back

Neil eventually walks into the mess that is the cousins’ room, glass everywhere and Neil is increasingly concerned about how it could have ruined Andrew’s goalie abilites. 

“What would it take to make you stay?” “What?” “Name it and it’s yours, I’m not above hiding all your little legs until I get an answer.” 

So they go to Columbia again

Neil's no longer a rabbit

Neil takes off his contacts, gives them a little more of whoever was hiding behind the scar tissue of his life

Neil and Andrew start their game again, and Neil gives him bits, asking Andrew for protection against his father

The truth hurt, if he was being honest. It burned like the scars on his leg were fresh, sounded like his father's cleaver against his own bone

"He already took my leg. If he finds me, he will kill me." "Not a car crash then?" "Called it a lesson, never planned on letting me go but I got away anyways." "What a mess."

And then Neil gets shoved into Andrew's side, and all he can think about is how Andrew can hold him up. How he's nothing like his mother, who never held him up for anything other than to run.

Andrew was holding him up and telling him to stay, that meant more than his mother ever did.

Kevin and Neil find themselves alone at the table later in the night, and is to drunk to keep his mouth shut

Kevin: You were going to hit him, with your leg.

Neil: Andrew beat me to it

Kevin: Would you?

Neil: Wish I had, we could all bond over being cripples together.

Neil: Did my talent catch my eye or was it my leg

Kevin: Both. But your leg doesn't define how well you play. You learned a new sport on one leg. A lot of people couldn't say the same.

Kevin: (beat) We can do this

Neil: You're wasted

Kevin: If I didn't think you could do it I wouldn't have fought for you

Neil: You're learning on your right and relearning on the left.

Kevin: I guess cripples like to stick together

And that was the end of it, they ignored each other after that

Seth overdosed right about then, Neil didn't get it, understand how someone could actively want to die when his entire life had been about survival

He could have curled up and died at his father's feet that night, he didn't

Even Andrew's hand at his neck couldn't soothe the confusion and fear that came with a the realization; Seth's death was planned

Neil hated Andrew already knew him, knew the look in his eyes that told him to run

So he pressed a key into Neil's hand and went inside.

Home, that's what Andrew had called it. Home.

Neil wasn't sure if this was some kind of joke, a dream or a nightmare. He hoped he never found out.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE || PART FOUR

#amputee!neil #neil is an amputee #aftg #neil josten #Andrew MinyarD #tfc incorrect quotes #Andreil #the foxes #the foxhole court #all for the game #all for the gay #exy #exy is sexy #david wymack #kevin day #butcher of baltimore #neil josten is a menace #neil josten angst

[stranger-marauders]

unbreakable

one: steven and kathy

chapter summary: Kate spends her evening with her best friend before someone interrupts it. Steve begins pursuing his new desired girl of the week, Nancy Wheeler.

chapter warnings: language, parental issues

word count: 3.2k

series masterlist | masterlist

KATHERINE MICHELLE HOPPER had always enjoyed the finer things in life.

By finer, she meant she appreciated when she could get away from home. While she could have gone to the library to study, she might've been able to pick up an extra shift at work to help out at home, she never seemed to gravitate toward those options. Above all else, she found herself always picking something else.

In fact, at that current moment, she didn't really care that she should've been studying to keep her straight As, or that she might've been able to pick up an extra shift at work to help out at home: whatever it was, it definitely wasn't hanging out with Steve Harrington.

Steve laughed as the girl bounced around the room, dancing to whatever song came on the radio. He knew he must have been the only person that had ever seen his best friend act that way. He always enjoyed watching her let loose considering she, most of the time, felt like she never could.

As she sang "Come On Eileen" the most poorly and out-of-breath Steve had ever heard, her arms flailed in about every direction possible, the sleeves of her oversized sweatshirt falling to her elbows. It wasn't actually her in years—she'd taken it before he could have worn it more than once or twice (even after all the years it had been in her possession, though, she swore it still smelled of him and his cologne).

Once the song had ended, she froze in the middle of his room, her arms immediately falling to her side and the sleeves of her sweatshirt falling past her fingertips. Her dirty-blonde hair sat widely on the top of her head, and her cheeks, which usually were quite pale, were flushed a light pink. She laughed at herself sheepishly, and Steve laughed even harder—her laugh had always been infectious. At least, he had always thought it was.

She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Steve's bedroom door had opened. His mother peaked her head through the crack of the door, and she carried a gentle smile.

"Kate, your father's here." Before either could reply, she shut the door, disappearing back downstairs again.

Steve and Kate exchanged worried glances at each other before they both ran to the boy's window. When they both pulled the curtains back to peek out of the glass, they found her father and his SUV in the driveway. He had still been wearing his tan-colored uniform, which either meant that the man hadn't bothered to change yet or that he'd just gotten off of work. Whenever he'd seen Kate and Steve from the window, he sent a small wave, shooting the pair a forced, tight-lipped smile as he took a puff of his cigarette.

"Shit," Kate said, sighing and jerking the curtain windows shut. She leaned back against the wall, her head hitting against it with a gentle thud as she pouted. "I don't want to go home."

"I mean, I don't want you to leave, either," he said, holding her bag out to her, "but I also don't want your dad to kick my ass."

She sighed as Steve threw her tote bag to her. When she had barely caught it, she glared at the boy. "You know, I could have something important in here."

"Really? Like what? One of your books or something?"

She shook her head, trying to hide her smile as she dodged the question. "You're such a dumbass."

"Your dumbass," he corrected. Kate rolled her eyes as he grinned, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "All right, Kathy, I'll walk you down."

She had always hated the nickname Kathy. In a way, she wished her parents hadn't named her Katherine—she hadn't really liked that name, to begin with, either. The name seemed stuck up and pompous to her, almost seeming like it belonged to someone of actual importance, which was someone she wasn't. The name itself wasn't even original: she had been named after her great-grandmother. Besides, there were much too many opportunities for terrible nicknames, such as Kathy. The name most everyone called her by, Kate, had always been good enough for her. She didn't mind when her father called her Katie, or when her sister had called her Kat (even though she didn't love the name, it was the fact that Sara had called her that), but Kathy was absolutely horrid, and she hated that Steve had come up with it so long ago. The name had come from the fact that when she was a child, her parents had only ever really called her Katherine, especially her mother, who refused to call her anything else but her legal name. Steve had decided, even though he was no older than four, that Kathy was a much better name than Katherine, even if she didn't agree with him. Even after she'd started going by Kate more often than her actual name, the nickname still stuck, even years later. Nevertheless, she may have hated the name, but she didn't hate it whenever Steve had called her it.

Once they'd gone downstairs and Kate had given Mrs. Harrington a quick goodbye, the two had stepped outside. Kate shivered as the wind blew—she'd forgotten about the slight chill the outside air carried, and it had been so warm inside of Steve's house.

"Hey, Mr. Hopper," Steve said, breaking the silence. He cleared his throat. "Sir."

Jim Hopper had only given a curt nod in the boy's direction before snuffing out his cigarette under his boot. Whenever the last ember had finally died, fading into nothing but ash, the man looked to his daughter. "Didn't want to tell anyone where you were going?"

"I did tell you," Kate reminded him, matching his displeased tone. "Remember this morning? I told you exactly where I was going after work, so don't—"

"There's no way you—"

"I did! I even said Steve was picking me up, just so you didn't do this—"

"Kate, just get in the car."

"But—"

"Kate. Get in the car."

The girl sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Steven."

As Hopper finished his freshly lit cigarette, Kate moved to the car without another word, sitting in the passenger's seat. Steve still hadn't moved, still standing across from the man.

"Is she like that with everyone or just me?" Hopper asked, taking another drag.

Steve shrugged. He always tried to stay out of any Hopper interaction he had the pleasure of witnessing. "I–I don't know."

Hopper took another long drag on his cigarette, nodding at Steve. "Night, kid."

"Night, Chief," Steve replied with a tight-lipped expression.

Hopper took another puff of his cigarette before throwing it on the ground, snuffing out the flame with his boot once again.

Kate rolled her eyes as she watched her father smoke. She couldn't understand why anyone would want to smoke anything, to begin with. She even thought it was gross when Steve smoked, even if it was mostly on occasion. He also hadn't ever smoked the unfiltered cigarettes that her father had seemed to smoke like a chimney, and he also didn't blow through packs near as quickly as her father did.

When the man had finally joined her in the car, she turned away from him, facing the window as Steve watched them drive away.

Kate only stared out the window, watching the silhouettes of the world around her as they zipped by it.

She didn't say a word to her father as she focused on nothing in particular, her forehead pressed against the glass of the window. That's how most car rides with her father went: silent.

It wasn't that Kate was angry with him. She wasn't angry at all, she just didn't talk to her father much. She hadn't tried to in years, really. The way she saw it, it had been about five years since her father had been emotionally available. She felt like every time they spoke about anything, especially that one thing, all talking to her father led to was yet another argument, and she didn't feel like fighting with him all the time.

However, it had seemed every time they'd been alone, Hopper tried to strike a conversation with her when the silence became too loud.

"Now that I think about it, you did tell me you were going over there after your shift this morning. I'm sorry, Katie."

As much as the girl wanted to fire back with something, anything, she knew all too well that it would be better for everyone involved if she just took the high road. She looked down at her hands, fidgeting with the blue hair tie on her wrist. "It's fine."

Hopper wished he knew what to say to her. He knew the harder he tried, the worse he most definitely seemed to her, but he wanted her to know that he wasn't trying to be such a screw-up. He hated the way it had been between the two of them for such a long time, but there wasn't anything that he could try to do and fix it.

The man couldn't remember the last time he had talked to his daughter about anything that truly mattered, never mind how she felt about anything. It had been so long since he'd talked to her, truly talked to her, he'd forgotten how to do it. He wished he knew how to say something to her without sounding like an idiot. He didn't want to upset her, but he felt like every time he opened his mouth, he just pissed her off.

For what felt like forever, Kate had been distant from him. In his eyes, she had seemed to make it a personal goal of hers to avoid her father as much as possible. She only interacted with him when necessary, and considering they operated on completely different schedules, it hadn't proven to be too difficult. Of course, Hopper had no idea how to fix such an issue: where would he even start? It wasn't his fault that her sister had died, her mother had left. However, it was, quite in fact, his fault that he hadn't been there for her when she had needed her father most, but Hopper would never admit that to himself.

The man only sighed as they pulled up to the trailer for the night.

The next morning, Kate hadn't been surprised when Steve had shown up at her house seventeen minutes earlier than he normally did.

She had been somewhat surprised, however, that he was actually going through with the plan he'd disclosed to her the night before (at least, what he considered a plan). She hadn't been too surprised, however, that her friend had already moved on to his next girl.

Kate had almost been a little disgusted when Steve had told her who had the pleasure of being his new girl of the week: Nancy Wheeler. While she had no problem with the girl herself, she had been a sophomore, and, as the blonde understood it, she had been notoriously uptight, at least according to other sophomores at Hawkins High. That being said, the more and more Steve had talked about the girl, Kate came to realize how much he had already begun to like her, even if he had only made out with her twice. Kate knew it was all because Nancy, just like everyone else, bought into the persona of the King and hadn't cared about the real Steve Harrington—the Steve she cared about.

To what seemed like everyone else, Steve had been one of those popular douchebag jocks that didn't seem to care about anyone or anything, but Kate knew that was anything but the truth. Steve, however, loved to surround himself with those that believed the narrative, which had almost felt like everyone but her. She had been the only person to stick around that didn't follow the King like a fan or a groupie, and yet she seemed to be the closest person to him.

When Kate walked into the living room of the trailer, she found her father's pills spilled all over the coffee table, beer cans littered all over the place. As if that hadn't been enough, she'd found her father passed out on the couch, his hat covering his face as he lightly snored.

She walked over to the man, nudging him slightly. "Get up. You have to go to work."

He'd groaned slightly, the hat shifting farther down his face even more as he swatted in the girl's general direction. He'd mumbled something she hadn't understood, seemingly unbothered as he went back to sleep.

Kate sighed as she shook her head, pulling her bag onto her shoulder. "Don't be late. Again."

When he hadn't answered her, she sighed again. She could only assume he hadn't heard her, just as he usually didn't. Why did she even try?

She'd hated that her father hadn't even made it to his bed, but it wasn't surprising. In fact, most of the time, the couch was exactly where he slept. All the while, she could never blame him for it. Not really. If she had to blame the mess of her father on anyone, she would've blamed her mother. Most people had blamed her sister's death for the way he was, and most of the time, she didn't correct people—it made sense. His seven-year-old daughter dying of cancer was a great reason as to why he acted the way he did. Something like that would completely change you, completely screw you up for good, but that wasn't what had truly pushed Jim Hopper over the edge.

Kate's mother had left when she was eleven. She hadn't called her mother by anything other than her name, Diane, since she'd left them so long ago. It wasn't like she had ever been around to hear it, and Kate liked it that way—if she ever spoke to her again, saw her again, it would be too soon. She hated that woman. She hated that Diane had left her and her father in such a difficult part of all their lives, knowing they'd needed each other, knowing that Kate needed her when Sara had died.

After all those years, Kate still didn't understand why her mother had left them in the first place. The excuse she had given, the "fresh start" bullshit that she'd left in her note, that she'd told her father over the phone when he'd finally reached her through her own mother. It had made absolutely no sense because she and her father were grieving, too. For god's sake, they'd still been alive. Something Kate would never forget, no matter how hard she had tried was that she had left them only a day after Christmas, only two hundred and twenty-seven days after Sara died. It hadn't even taken the woman a year to leave Kate and her father.

That had been when Jim Hopper spiraled.

Of course, he'd had his moments before Diane had left them. He'd had his own troubles dealing with his youngest daughter's death, but that was something to be expected. He'd seen her, heard her… she'd seemed so real, yet she hadn't been there at all. He'd known after a while that his grief had caught up with him. On Christmas Day, whenever it had been so stuffy and depressing that Kate just wanted to stay home and lay in bed, he'd known he'd influenced his daughter and his wife had left him, the woman that had sworn to never leave him no matter what, that's when he had truly given up.

This had proven to be, at the time, a problem for Kate. Hopper had finally decided to move them back to his hometown of Hawkins, Indiana, finally leaving New York City after she finished sixth grade, which had only been a couple of weeks after the anniversary of her sister's death. Back then, she'd felt so lost. She'd lost her sister, her mother, and her father all in that year. While she hadn't lost him, not in the same way as Sara or Diane, he hadn't ever been the same since. She'd had to instill discipline in herself, and her responsibility had grown by an insane amount by the time she began high school. Whenever she'd gotten a job at fourteen, she'd used her paycheck to buy groceries for the trailer, to buy things she had needed for school, and the rest of it went to savings for one thing: a car. She'd decided years ago that when she'd finally buy that, she would start saving money for a house, or even for college. She couldn't remember the last time she'd truly taken care of herself. Most of the time, she didn't even have enough money to buy new sweaters or flannels, even, leaving her to just take something of Steve's or her father's instead. Kate had had to grow up so much more quickly than she could have ever imagined, and because of it, she seemed lost.

That's where Steve Harrington came into the picture.

Even though Kate had many issues of her own, Steve had been one of the reasons why she wasn't completely screwed up, better yet dead. Whenever she had first moved back to Hawkins, he had been the only thing familiar to her in a sea of unfamiliarity, and she needed some type of normalcy back then. While she didn't have a family, a real family, she had a best friend that had always been close to her. Even if the boy had sometimes not been perfect—a douchebag, a dumbass, whatever you wanted to call him—she still loved him. For her, he had been more than good enough, if not, perfect.

Kate pulled herself out of her own thoughts at the sound of a car horn outside, remembering the reason why Steve had wanted to be at school so early in the first place—he had a date with Nancy Wheeler.

When she walked outside, Steve honked the horn of his car again as she locked her front door. Whenever she'd gotten closer to the red BMW, she found him laughing, his window cranked down.

"Stop it, my dad's gonna be pissed," she said, getting into the car as quickly as possible as he cranked the window back up. "Drive away before he kicks your ass."

"He wouldn't do that," he replied, looking at her before pulling out of their makeshift driveway. "I mean, he has to get up soon anyway, right?"

Kate stifled a laugh. "That's if he all of a sudden decides on planning to get to work on time, which I guarantee you is not the case."

He shook his head, turning to the girl again before they pulled out onto the main road. He put a hand on her arm, her body tensing for only a second before relaxing again. "Hey, thanks for hurrying."

"What can I say, I'm just interested to see how quickly you blow through this one."

When he'd laughed, nudging her slightly, Kate had only hoped that this attempt at a girl would fail miserably.

next chapter

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x hopper!reader #stranger things #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington x oc #steve harrington series #steve harrington stranger things

[cauldronoflove]

JJ! So I was tempted to just send 1-25, but I'll restrain myself and go with 3, 6 and 24 for the end of the year book ask

3. What were your top five books of the year?

i just sat down to make this list last week and i'm still not completely sold on it (or maybe it's just the placements?), i read a lot of books i really enjoyed this year so there's a lot to choose from but atm

- kate bornstein's gender outlaw (fundamentally changed me a day had not gone by i haven't thought abt something said in this book)

- annie proulx's close range (i love short stories but this comp did something to me and my view of short stories i cant even explain. have wept my way through brokeback mountain 3 times this year also)

- selma blair's mean baby (one of the best "celebrity memoirs" i've read in a long time and it hit me at a very personal level)

- manda scott's dreaming the bull (oh god. OH GOD. scott's boudica cycle has so been my shit this year but this one had me hooping and fucking hollering gritting my teeth feeling absolutely insane for all 700 some pgs)

- janet kagan's uhura's song (not only was this SUCH a fun reading experience but it also unfairly set my standards for trek novels to come, the writing and worldbuilding is absolutely insane!!!!)

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

🤡 yeah.

i'm always working on my physical tbr so these are books i'll still be getting to at some point, but this year i had hoped to get to:

emily yellins' our mothers' war / joann levy's they saw the elephant / lillian faderman's odd girls & twilight lovers / lynn sherr's sally ride

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

per my yearly spreadsheet i dnf'd 4 books this year:

anne mccaffrey's get off the unicorn (i thought a short story collection would be a great way to dip my toes into as prolific a writer and i did find that i liked mccaffrey's style but i didnt jive with the actual stories)

tippi hedren's tippi (i'm sorry ms hedren but the writing was excruciating)

agatha christie's nemesis (if i'm being honest i dont truly remember why, i think christie just got kinda weird with it)

kathy reichs' déjà dead (boooo!!!! i was really looking forward to this series but the first few chapters were absolutely mindnumbing, i skimmed the rest of the book and was just like. oh i cant do this)

#i have at least another 5 that couldve taken a spot in my top 5 this was such a good reading year #ty bec ily <33333 #personal

[reasoningdaily]

Rapper Tory Lanez was sentenced Tuesday to 10 years in prison for shooting Megan Thee Stallion in the feet and injuring her three years ago.

Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge David Herriford’s decision followed an unusually long hearing that stretched into a second day and included seven people answering questions from Lanez’s attorneys, mostly about his childhood and charitable work as well as his struggle with the death of his mother when he was 11. A jail chaplain said Lanez hosts a daily moment of prayer on his jail floor that has lessened tensions and sets him far apart from the 15,000 other inmates he’s met over the years.

Lanez spoke for several minutes, asking Herriford to not send him to prison. He called Megan “someone I still care for dearly to this day” regardless of what she may think of him. He said “the victim’s my friend.” He talked about bonding with her over the loss of their mothers.

“We both lost our mothers. We would sit there and drink, and drink until we got numb,” he said.

Lanez’s lawyers also submitted 76 character reference letters from friends, family and other supporters. The writers include singer Iggy Azalea, a police chief and a state representative from Missouri, and a doctor who treated Lanez for hair loss.

In a written statement read aloud in court, Megan said she struggled with whether to attend in person, and her absence should not be seen as anything other than her preserving her mental well being. She said since Tory Lanez her, “I’ve not experienced a single day of peace,” Deputy District Attorney Kathy Ta read aloud.

Megan said mercy is for people who show remorse, and Lanez has shown none. She thanked the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office for their support and said she wants Lanez’s sentence to be a message for every woman who’s a victim of violence.

“He not only shot me, he made a mockery of my trauma. He tried to position himself as a victim and set out to destroy my character and my soul,” Megan said.

“He lied to anyone that would listen and paid bloggers to disseminate false information about the case on social media. He released music videos and songs to damage my character and continue his crusade,” she continued. “At first, he tried to deny the shooting ever happened. Then, he attempted to place the blame on my former best friend. In his tantrum of lies, he’s blamed the system, blamed the press and, as of late, he’s using his childhood trauma to shield himself and avoid culpability.”

She that Lanez “must be forced to face the full consequences of his heinous actions and face justice.”

Lanez continues to maintain his innocence. His lawyers argued he has an alcohol-use disorder because of post-traumatic stress disorder and an anxiety disorder, and they asked he be released from jail on probation and to a residential substance abuse program.

Herriford questioned where the nexus is between the crime and Lanez’s alcohol-use disorder if he’s still denying shooting Megan. “Your client at no time indicates he actually shot the victim,” Herriford said told Lanez’s lead lawyer, Jose Baez.

“What is he alleging he did as a result of alcohol-use disorder if he didn’t do anything?” Herriford asked. “What did the doctor conclude he did as a result of alcohol use? It’s very unclear.”

Baez said “yelling” and the “argument that went back and forth in the car.”

Baez said “there were lots of decisions that transpired” to escalate the situation.

“It wasn’t a pretty situation. It wasn’t that young man's finest moment,” Baez said of Lanez.

Herriford’s unusual decision to allow questions meant it took three hours to get through the people who spoke on Monday. He also allowed Lanez’s lawyers to re-open their questioning of two speakers on Tuesday.

The speakers included a jail chaplain who said Lanez has helped bring peace to his restricted cell floor through a daily prayer call that brings everyone together at 9 p.m. and a mental health specialist who said Lanez has post-traumatic stress order and an anxiety order that underlays his alcohol-use order.

Deputy District Attorney Alex Bott said Lanez was almost 29 when he shot Megan, and he had no prior reports of alcohol problems. Video of his arrest shows him walking without stumbling, Bott said, and his attempts to bribe Kelsey Harris and Megan show someone in control of his actions. He said the shooting “was an act of misogyny towards Megan.”

Bott said Lanez will “say whatever it takes to avoid accountability" and "is talking out of both sides of his mouth" by claiming alcoholism and a mental disorder but also saying he's a role model for his son.

Stephanie Herring, program director of Home Sentencing, said Lanez is a great candidate for her program, and she’s available to pick him up from jail and take him there immediately. She said she believes anyone with a substance abuse disorder must first have a mental health disorder, and Lanez qualifies. 

The sentencing ends a three-year-old case that sparked contentious debate online, propelled by what prosecutors described as a “campaign of misinformation” waged by Lanez against Megan. 

Lanez was arrested on a gun charge shortly after the July 12, 2020, shooting in Los Angeles’ Hollywood Hills. He and Megan were leaving reality star Kylie Jenner’s home with Megan’s friend Kelsey Nicole Harris when an argument broke out and Megan exited the Escalade on Nichols Canyon Road barefoot and in her bikini. She testified in trial that she heard Lanez say “Dance, bitch!” before he opened fire. 

Megan initially denied being shot, instead telling police she’d stepped on glass, despite needing surgery to remove bullet fragments in her feet. She told investigators four days later that Lanez had shot her. He was charged in August 2020 and remained free on bail until September 2022, when he was placed on house arrest after allegedly assaulting singer August Alsina in Chicago. He was jailed after the jury convicted him Dec. 23 of first-degree assault with a firearm, negligent discharge of a firearm and possession of a concealed and unregistered firearm in a vehicle.

Judge Herriford rejected his motion for new trial in May, and the state appellate court then rejected an unusual request to remove the judge from the case or order him to grant a new trial. 

Megan, meanwhile, became more publicly active, throwing out the first pitch at the Houston Rockets home opener, posting more on social media and headlining concerts such as the L.A. Pride Festival in June and the Essence Festival in New Orleans in July. She opened up about the shooting in an Elle cover story in April, saying, “For years, my attacker tried to leverage social media to take away my power.”

“Imagine how it feels to be called a liar every day? Especially from a person who was once part of your inner circle,” Megan said.

#Judge sentences Tory Lanez to 10 years in prison for shooting Megan Thee Stallion #Megan Thee Stallion #daystarr peterson #Megan Pete #tory lanez #tory lanez sentenced #tory lanez gets 10 years for shooting Megan Thee Stallion #Youtube

[sjsmith56]

Finding Jade - Series Masterlist - completed.

Summary: Set three years after the second battle against Thanos, a different alien species called the Others invaded Earth, attracted by the abundant water. Humanity is isolated as the larger cities had to be evacuated. What’s left of the Avengers is located in a bunker in the badlands of New Mexico. The rescue of a lone woman who has been searching for them offers a chance to defeat the Others.

Length: 16 chapters

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Peter Parker, Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, Maria Hill, Wanda Maximoff, Scott Lang, Dr. Stephen Strange, named original female character Jade Chambers, her mother Kathy “Ma” Langford, son Ben Chambers, her father John Langford, Dr. Paul Stamets (IYKYK), assorted named and unnamed characters that usually populate an apocalyptic story.

Warnings: some smut, violence causing injury and/or death, tension between characters, very grumpy Bucky (in mourning), angst (mostly Bucky and Jade), religious cult behaviour (taking advantage of apocalypse), telepathic abilities.

Author’s notes: Inspired by photo edits made by Instagram artist Nixakimbo. This is an already completed work that is on my Wattpad, AO3 and FanFiction.net accounts. If you wish to read it in its entirety my user name on those platforms is SJSmith56. This is a mature work with discussion and description of sexual situations. It is not meant to be read by minors. If you are under the age of 18 this is not suitable reading for you. Please do not copy and paste my work into any other platforms or post a translation in any other language. Please follow me and enable notifications if you wish to be notified when I update.

Novels/Collections Masterlist Tumblr Masterlist

Chapter 1. Bleeding Daylight Chapter 2. The Sky With No Clouds

Chapter 3. The Sanctuary Chapter 4. Provisions

Chapter 5. The Storm Chapter 6. Finding Jade

Chapter 7. Contact Chapter 8. Fear Itself

Chapter 9. To Die For Chapter 10. Find the Others

Chapter 11. Just Hold Me Chapter 12. Decisions and Consequences

Chapter 13. Taking Back the Cities. Chapter 14. The Attack on New York

Chapter 15. The Quiet Man Chapter 16. Ride With Me

My Masterlist

If you like my writing please like, comment, and/or reblog.

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #marvel avengers #alien invasion #apocalyptic fiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #buckybarneslongfic #Bucky Barnes long fiction

[justonemorechapternicercy]

Because my beloved @unbeknownstunknown was complaining about the lack of Tristercy 💙

It all started with the Hephaestus and the Athena cabins working together to invent the demigod proof technology to be able to connect with each other and their mortal acquaintances. Or maybe it started with Percy getting better friends with Piper, both of them being fed up with other people's expectations about their lives, about not being able to explore their own sexuality because others wanted them to be in a relationship with the "obvious choice".

Wait, no. It started with little Percy having a little thing for a certain Hollywood heartthrob he saw in a trashy soap opera when the neighbor lady was babysitting him.

Anyways, it started somehow, with the mixture of little things that built up into this moment.

This moment being Percy, drunk and petty, lounging with Piper around the McLean's pool, bitching about compulsive heteronormativity.

Dangerous combination, especially with Percy's tendency to listen to his impulsive thoughts, and Piper's inherited curiosity towards unusual pairings. (And by curiosity, Percy obviously meant obsession. As much as Piper liked to deny it, she was their mother's child through and through. Maybe not from the outside, but her personality definitely reflected on some aspects of Aphrodite.)

"You wouldn't dare to do it," Piper declared, taking a generous sip of her purple cocktail, leaning back onto the sunbed. The look Percy gave them was one that other people would have found disturbing, but Piper just smiled prettily, dipping his big toe into the cooling pool water. As much as the native American demigod liked to deny, they were disturbingly similar to Drew Tanaka. Only one of them was better at hiding their cruel side, and one of them was proud of it.

"Famous last words," Percy muttered, but then smirked. "So, what's the bet?"

Piper snorted, "There's no bet. You will do it, and I will enjoy the fallout."

"Valid," Percy nodded, unlocking his phone. He was feeling mischievous, petty, and yes, horny.

He hated that everybody thought that just because Piper and him were friends, and heterosexuals thought there was no such thing as a boy-girl friendship, the media had been speculating about their possible marriage ever since he first visited them.

He was not in love with Piper, thank you very much. No.

His sight was on another McLean.

Piper knew about this, and found it hilarious. Especially because of the conspiracy theories that were spreading through the tweets and TikTok videos that he, as a wrongly accused teenage terrorist, why would want to marry into a movie star's family. Most of them thought it was his way to clear up his reputation before trying to become an internationally famous actor himself.

He was actually quite ashamed of the internet. He heard that people were horny on the internet, with dirty, dirty minds, but nobody tweeted about him being Tristan's boytoy. Shame.

He would have to rectify it.

🌊 @ iblamethegods

replying to @ queenofthedamned

He obviously wants to fuck the dad

It was quite funny how quickly his tweet was retweeted. Some called him disgusting. Some agreed. Nature was healing.

Missy💀 @ queenofthedead

replying to @ iblamethegods

You disgusting freak! That's basically a child!

Prudence R. @ prupru

replying to @ iblamethegods

You might be onto something! #tristercy

Kathy Kat😻 @ tristanisadaddy

replying to @ iblamethegods @ prupru

OMG! That's so hot! #tristercy

Rach @ idareyou

replying to @ iblamethegods @ queenofthedamned

I agree… that idiot is certainly a child 🙄

Rach @ idareyou

replying to @ iblamethegods

The boy definitely wants to fuck the dad

Outside of the slight feeling of humiliation and humor of being called out by Rachel, he didn't think much of what would happen after he posted it - already was on his way to close it, not wanting to bother by the fall out -, when he saw something that made him glad he wasn't currently drinking.

TM @ lovernotfighter

replying to @ iblamethegods

What if the dad wants to fuck him too?

#tristercy

The icon was a picture of a familiar painting. A painting he had been staring at for the last two weeks, during each meal. TM was a follower of Piper (Feathers @stopstereotypes). Percy could admit that sometimes he missed the obvious, but-

"Subtle, dad, subtle," Piper laughed, more than a little tipsy.

-but he wasn't that oblivious.

It wasn't a joke, was it? He did caught Tristan looking at certain parts of him for longer than polite. And he hinted that he was quite lonely nowadays. And that he was bisexual. And that there was a reason why he had a daughter from the literal Goddess of Love.

Well…

🌊

What if the boy wanted to go inside?

He sent the DM, part of him still not expecting an answer, but it arrived almost immediately as if Tristan was waiting for his reaction.

TM

The dad would be waiting

Percy swallowed. Peeking from behind his phone, his eyes met with Piper's mirthful eyes.

"What?" He demanded defensively.

"Nothing," Piper smirked. It was a terrifying look on them. She looked exactly like Drew. "Can I be your maid of honor, stepmom?" She cackled finally.

Percy pouted, secretly happy that she wasn't jealous or resentful because of his crush on their father, but they shouldn't make fun of him. Placing his body weight on his arms, he pushed himself up.

"Well, my darling stepdaughter, I'm going to bed now-"

She look confused.

He smirked. "Have to make sure you get half siblings from your dad's side too!"

Piper's eyes widened, and before he could prepare to avoid being used as a bullseye, a stray flip-flop hit in his chest. "Fuck off, Jackson!" They yelled, wheezing.

Percy couldn't stop himself. "That's Jackson-McLean for you, Ms!" Then ran. He had other things to do that night than annoying the hell out of his future stepdaughter. He would have a lot of time to do that after the wedding.

"Oh? Jackson-McLean, you say?" A deep voice purred as he walked into the mansion. He wasn't startled when the gorgeous man stepped out of the shadows that were leading towards his bedroom, but his heart definitely speed up more than he ever experienced before outside of a dangerous situation.

Well… it was a dangerous situation in some way; he felt like a prey animal as the older man prowled towards him.

He couldn't wait to be eaten alive.

#percy jackson #tristan mclean #tristan x percy #tristercy #percy's harem #pjo ficlet #pjo #pjoverse

[jungle-angel]

The House We Built: Part 7 (Miles Miller x Reader)

Summary: Your best memory with Miles is made during one perfect, sweltering July day

You sweetly brushed aside a loose curl hanging against Miles’s forehead as he lay his head on the little dip between your breasts. He looked like an angel, a soft-hearted angel with a warrior’s stature whose well-muscled arms coiled around you in a warm and protective embrace. 

Miles sighed in his sleep, groaning and cursing under his breath as he awoke all groggy-eyed as the morning sun hit his face. “Good morning handsome,” you whispered, kissing the crown of his head. 

“Mornin (Y/n),” Miles mumbled, shifting his head so that it rested on your belly. 

“Why do you keep doing that?” you chuckled. 

Miles didn’t answer you as he purred against your skin. You two were pulled right from your reverie by a series of giggles erupting from the room across the hall, quickly tossing the covers aside and heading into Benny’s nursery. Already, he was jumping up and down on the new bed that Miles and Otis had made for him, his stuffed puppy in hand and an excited look in his eyes.

“Happy Birthday Benny!” you exclaimed excitedly, picking him up from his bed and kissing his soft little cheeks. 

Benny giggled as Miles tickled his sides and littered one cheek with kisses. “That’s right, little man is two today.” 

You were both amazed that Benny was already two and that the Fourth of July had come once again. Today meant both Benny’s birthday, days spent at the lake, cookouts and of course fireworks. 

“Are you gonna be ok tonight?” you asked nervously when the thought of the fireworks had crossed your mind. “You and your dad?” 

Miles smiled and pulled you in close. “Sweetheart,” he said. “You helped me through things I couldn’t imagine. My mother did the same for my father and my father did the same for me. It’s something I’ve learned to live with.” 

You smiled up at your husband as he pulled you and Benny close to him. It had taken Miles a while to get past some of the things he had seen in the service, but a little bit each day went a long way. 

Benny giggled and babbled as you slipped a little red, white and blue tie-dyed shirt you had made, over Benny’s head along with his little denim shorts. As soon as you were both ready, you and Miles headed up the path to the farmhouse where Kathy and Otis were ready and waiting on the front porch. 

“Jeez you’re two today, you little devil!” Otis laughed as he scooped Benny out of his son’s arms. 

“No I not,” Benny giggled.

“Yeah you are!” 

“No I not!” 

Miles sighed and rolled his eyes, knowing his father would be arguing for an hour with Benny. “Don’t think anything of it honey,” Kathy said with a grin. “At least your dad will be occupied for an hour.” 

“Don’t remind me, Momma,” Miles sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

You and Miles were all too happy to spend the day with each other and his parents. The work was already done by the hands who didn’t have much of a reason to be out and about, leaving you to do whatever you wanted. The day was absolutely sweltering with the humidity but the lake cooled you all right off. Lunch hadn’t been much, only popsicles from the roadside stands at the farmers’ markets to keep cool in the oppressive summer heat. 

“Jeez (Y/n),” Miles remarked. “How many of those have you had?” 

“I have no idea,” you chuckled. 

Miles had been counting and it was your third lemon and lime flavored popsicle from the stand. The last two weeks you had been craving lemons and limes like they were the only food you had ever wanted. Miles cocked his eyebrow a little bit, mulling over the weird craving but hardly thinking anything of it. Yet he had a feeling that you knew something he didn’t. 

The day went on without any problems at all before the two of you went back to the house to celebrate Benny’s birthday. Otis threw a few steaks on the grill along with the freshly shucked corn while you, Kathy and Miles let Benny run wild in the grass, praying he didn’t get too close the pasture fence. You and Miles hadn’t failed either to take plenty of polaroids of Benny with chocolate cupcake crumbs, vanilla frosting and Fourth of July sprinkles all over his face. 

You and Miles had gone to the pasture fence to give his parents some time alone with their grandson. The sun had become nothing more than a red disk against the hazy sky, but the sight of the horses roaming free was something the two of you took in almost nightly. 

“So what’d you wanna talk to me about, Sweetheart?” he asked. 

“Well,” you said, moving a little closer to him. “I um.....I know you noticed but....you know how I’ve been eating alot of lemons and limes lately?” 

“Uh huh.” 

“And how you thought I had the stomach flu at the beginning of the month?” 

Miles nodded. 

You smiled uncontrollably, wanting so badly to tell him but also wanting to see his reaction. 

“(Y/n) out with it, what’s going on?” Miles asked you. “Are you sick?” 

“No.” 

“Then what is it?!” 

You leaned it as if to kiss him, your eyes fluttering shut and his as well, both of you barely an inch between you. “I’m pregnant,” you whispered before pressing a kiss to his lips. 

Miles suddenly broke away and went wide eyed, clamping a hand over his mouth. “You.....you’re pregnant?!” he blurted out. “Again?!” 

You smiled and nodded. 

Miles couldn’t control the smile that formed on his face or the tears that began to stream from his eyes, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the side of your head as he rocked from side to side. “Oh baby,” he croaked happily. “Baby I’m so happy. I can’t believe I’m gonna be a daddy again.” 

You laughed happily as you stroked the back of his neck and kissed his cheek. Miles sank down to one knee so that your stomach was at his eye level. He kissed the flatness of your stomach, his tears wetting the fabric of your summer dress. “I love you little one,” he whispered. “Your Momma and I can’t wait to meet you.....and your big brother too.” 

You ran your hands through Miles’s curls as he rested his head against the flat of your stomach, whispering to your little one about how excited he was to meet them. You couldn’t have imagined that just months ago, you and Miles were packing up to leave Lake Tahoe for Bozeman, putting all your spare change into a coffee can to make it all happen. The little house you had built together was now becoming your home....and home it would always be. 

#miles miller #miles miller x reader #bad times at the el royale

[your-old-sins-tournament]

OC NAVAL WARFARE

/ -- Romantic

*-- Unlabelled/Other

+ -- QPR

& -- Familial

Elitheocecily (Elijah Scott * Theodore Churchill * Cecily Churchill)

OK SO. theodore is an angel from heaven disguising himself as a human on earth. cecily knows this, elijah does not. theodore met cecily shortly after coming down to earth and fell head over heels in love with her like its insane how much this man loves his wife. shes literally the only reason he stays on earth. they are both best friends with elijah, whos a priest and is REEEAAAALLLYY fucking repressed and so deep in the closet its ridiculous. hes convinced himself that its actually really normal heterosexual friendship stuff to be completely infatuated with your boy best friend. he thinks hes being really covert but cecily and theodore both are aware of it. cecily thinks its really funny and theodore just finds it really endearing :) if youve ever seen singin in the rain they basically have lie the same dynamic as don kathy and cosmo its great i love them

HG^2 (Charlie "Chuck" Beaumont/Octavian "Tavi Osborne)

Tavi is a cringe-fail loser spoiled rich kid protegy who never properly developed any social skills aside from making people swoon over them. They fell off their god-complex high-horse so hard it landed them in prison for their parents' murder. (They got better, though!) (Tavi, not the parents. The parents are still very much dead.) Chuck has extreme middle child syndrome and enough guilt to strangle the horse Tavi just fell off of (figuratively) .They were so desperate for outside validation that their old girlfriend straight-up poisoned them and they thought nothing of it. Grades and success always meant the world to them until they met Tavi and discovered that reputation wasn't everything. Sometimes being "evil" can be fun, too. Between these two they could fill a lake with their self-loathing, and then fill another with their love for eachother. They are in it together to the end, along with the children they somehow manage to pick up along the way. (These two are technically Marvel/Spiderverse OCs, though they are very separated from the Canon. My partner and I have gone kinda nuts with them over the years, and their story now includes elements/characters from: Ouran High School Host Club, The Magnus Archives, Danny Phantom, Ace Attorney, Supernatural, Harry Potter (as a parody), and many more that I cannot recall.)

Tavi (or Octavian [They/Them]) is the child of two multi millionaire parents. Though they had quite the god complex as a child it was slightly dampened by their roommate/rival/friend Chuck when they got to college at the age of 16. Though they had many wacky adventures during their four years together, that soon came crashing down when their parents were murdered during graduation. So like any sane person they cut off all contact to anyone that they cared about and started getting a Doctorate (after they were miraculously proven innocent). From their they spiraled until they turned 28 and started working at their parents' old company were they run back into Chuck. Chuck (or Charlie [They/Them]) is the middle child of 8, being sandwiched in-between two sets of twins and one set of triplets, wants to noticed within the family. This is achieved when they manage to graduate highschool early and get a huge full-ride scholarship to MIT. They are lead to be roomed with the other 16 year old, Tavi. Through their four years of people assuming that they are dating (they would like to date the but they definitely don't feel the same [they do]) their time together was cut off when their mother had to got to the hospital where she would die a year later. Gets into a toxic relationship, or should I call it poisonous?, relationship with a girl named Gray. That relationship ends and they get a job at a big science place where they eventually reunite with Tavi. Though their relationship starts off very rocky they find bonding time after becoming villains against a common foe and starting a twitch together. Eventually they find a bigger bad and adopt the first villain together <3 (Technically they are Spiderverse/Spiderman ocs but do NOT follow canon very well. Their lore goes further down the rabbit whole but I feel like this gives a good impression of them both haha [I kinda got carried away is what I am saying])

#oc ship tournament #oc ships #oc #bracket tournament #polls #romantic ship #unlabelled ship #elitheocecily #hg^2

[minimitchell]

consumed by seeds of doubt (ao3)

ee didn’t give us kathy and callum talking about ben and what happened to him last year so i wrote it myself.

.

There’s a stain on the far edge of the plastic that’s covering the table, perfectly coloring one of the white checkered squares in a dirty brown. It’s probably coffee, or possibly tea, that one of the other guests today spilled and didn’t bother to clean up again. It’s almost the exact same shade as the tea he’s cradling between his hands, maybe a shade or two darker. And by now they’re probably the same temperature as well.

Callum has been sitting here a while now. He can’t say exactly how long it’s been, but judging by the number of guests he has heard and seen in his peripheral it’s been quite some time. He’s been drifting in and out of paying attention to the neighbors and strangers coming in to get their coffees, teas and buns; only looking up from the stain on the table when someone addresses him directly.

And even then he only notices them after they repeat his name more than once.

It’s been this way all day. He kept zoning out while trying to focus on the paperwork on his desk at work, but he could never focus on it too long. The words kept blurring in front of him; his brain not letting him combine the different letters to form a coherent sentence. He called it quits after realizing he read the same page of his report for the fourth time without taking anything in, instead opting to wait for Ben here at the café.

But even now he can’t seem to turn his brain off.

His head keeps mulling this one thing over. This one miniscule thing that shouldn’t send him spiraling like this and keep him from concentrating on anything else. But it does. It keeps bouncing around in his head, from one corner to the other, blocking every other thought that might take up space in its place.

If this was about anything else, he might think he’s slowly going insane. But it’s about Ben so of course it takes up most of the space in his head. Just like everything about Ben does.

“Alright, love?”

A bright green rag drags over the brown spot he’s fixating on, leaving a spotless white in its wake after it's done its job. He follows the hand holding the rag up until he lands on the friendly face of his mother in law, looking back at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Her blonde hair is pulled away from her face into a ponytail and she looks exhausted from being on her feet for the entire day. Callum has so much admiration for her. For her work ethic, for her never-ending kindness, for her strive to do what it takes for her family. He relates to her a lot in that regard.

“Yeah, yeah. Just waiting for Ben. He got held up at the Arches.”

They were meant to meet up here after they both got done with work since they still had to pop into the Minute Mart for some groceries before going home today. Callum wants to cook them a nice dinner, maybe open a bottle of wine and just have a nice, relaxed evening together.

Unfortunately, they made that plan without thinking of any emergencies that could come up at their respective works. Specifically at Ben’s work. Callum is trying not to be annoyed at their delayed start to the weekend -it’s extra money and in reality, the thing shouldn’t take too long to fix according to Ben- but it does leave him with extra time to mull this thing over and over in his head without distraction.

“You barely touched your tea.”

Oh. Now that she mentions it, it’s noticeable to Callum as well. The mug is cold to the touch; the ceramic almost icy against his palms. He can’t remember the last time he took a sip from it, but judging by the amount of liquid still present in the cup it’s been some time.

“Oh. Right.”

Kathy takes a look around the café and it’s another testament to how out of it Callum’s been that he hasn’t even noticed he’s pretty much the only person still in here right now. Harvey is sat at the corner table by the window, Callum thinks he might be on break or in-between cab rides, but he’s far away and engrossed in something on his phone. Kathy must think so as well because the next thing she does is pull the chair out opposite of Callum and sit down in it, covering the space where the brown stain used to be with her resting hands.

“Everything alright, love? Is it Ben?”

His silence must be long enough for Kathy to see it as confirmation and her eyebrows become even more furrowed; her eyes taking on that sorrowful look parents get when they’re hurting for their child. Callum has become well accustomed to this look in the years he’s been part of Lexi’s life.

“I thought he was doing better after everything?”

“Yeah, he is. For the most part.”

Callum isn’t even lying or trying to whitewash the truth. Ben is doing better. He’s come so far in the past few months. He’s a different person to the one Callum saw in that horrible room at the station. He smiles more. He laughs full belly-laughs again. He sings in the shower and makes stupid jokes just to see the people around him smile as well.

He’s able to sit in the Albert again without being close to panic. He’s able to hold his daughter in his arms and he’s able to kiss his husband without hesitation. So yeah, Ben is doing better these days. In most aspects he’s doing surprisingly well. In others though, Callum isn’t so sure.

“Still. I’m worried about him sometimes.”

“Why?”

“I’m worried he’s pushing himself too much when he shouldn’t.”

He doesn’t really know how to explain this better without giving away too many details. Details that probably shouldn’t be shared with Ben’s mum of all people. Or rather, details he doesn’t really want to share with Ben’s mum.

His reluctance to give any further details doesn’t seem to reach Kathy. Or Kathy just decides her worry for her son is bigger than Callum’s subtle discomfort. He gets it. If he had been the one who witnessed Ben’s downward spiral last year as intimate as Kathy had - and he’ll never forgive himself for not being the one - he’d be exactly the same. Hell, the reason he’s been spacing out all day is because he’s worried about Ben as well and he was pretty much the last person to know.

“What do you mean?”

There’s no getting out of this one now, Callum knows as much. Kathy isn’t going to let this go and Callum can’t just make up a lie about his husband’s well-being. Just because he might be uncomfortable talking about their sex life with his mother-in-law.

So he takes a small but deep breath and decides to just be honest with her.

If anyone understands and doesn’t judge, it’s definitely Kathy.

“Sometimes when we, you know , I touch him like I used to do all the time before but now he flinches. But he doesn’t stop and talks to me about it. Or tells me to stop. He’ll even make me do it again sometimes.”

“I see.”

It has happened a couple of times now; mostly when they’re right in the middle of things.

It’s been a slow process, getting to a place where Ben felt comfortable and ready enough to be intimate again. They simply slept in the same bed for the first few weeks after they got back together, gradually with less and less space between them. Then they slowly started with hands, then mouths, then more. Just around Christmas they tried going all the way again - slow and steady and with lots of communication and reassurance. Everything at Ben’s pace.

Callum had been fully prepared to wait for months, until Ben had been fully ready, or forever even. He only cared about being back together with his husband. About getting to spend his life with the most important person to him again. About supporting him in whatever way he needed.

But he didn’t have to wait forever.

And since they started having sex again, it’s been really good. It’s not like it was before, it’s different now, but somehow it feels even better. They feel even more connected now; almost like they know each other on a completely different level than before. The trust between them feels deeper, so does the love somehow, and all these things combined make for a pretty good feeling while they’re being intimate.

Sometimes though- sometimes Callum can’t help but act on impulse. He forgets about things in the throes of passion. His hand is too forceful on Ben’s neck or he holds his wrists a little too tight, restraining Ben too much. Last night, things were rougher than they have been since they got back together. Callum had been rougher. But when he caught himself and tried to slow down, Ben didn’t let him.

“That’s not normal, is it?”

“Maybe that’s his way of working through the trauma. To rewrite the past with your touch. With someone who doesn’t mean harm.”

“But what if I trigger him, Kathy? What if he starts associating all this with me. With us. I couldn’t handle that.”

Kathy regards him for a moment; her eyes fixed on his. She’s always been their biggest supporter; has always championed for him and Ben to work things through when it got rough or reminded them that they love each other. Her opinion, her advice, means a lot to Callum. With this topic even more so.

He knows about what happened to her. Not all the details, just the things Ben shared with him when he told him about Luke and after they got back together. He knows that Kathy can relate. That she went through something similar to Ben. If anyone can ease his worries it’s her.

She reaches out and covers one of his hands with her own.

“Callum. Ben trusts you more than anyone. If he’s comfortable enough to be intimate with you and to work through this together, then that’s a good thing. I wish my husband at the time made me feel that way. Ben knows what he needs better than anyone else. Have trust in him.”

“I do, I trust him. I’m just worried, I guess.”

Kathy glances over at the far table where Harvey is still sitting, maybe making sure he hasn’t heard their conversation. Callum hadn’t even thought about that, about inadvertently spilling such a delicate secret to the wrong person. He likes the bloke, but he’s under no illusion that Harvey wouldn’t immediately spill what he overheard to the Slaters. And the last thing Ben wants is have more people find out. Callum couldn’t even convince him to tell Lola.

She must be thinking the same thing because she waits for a moment until she seems sure enough that they can’t be heard, returning her gaze to Callum again afterwards. Despite the heaviness of their topic and the flash of pain still lingering in Kathy’s face there’s warmth in her eyes. The type of warmth he has become so accustomed to with her. The type of warmth that makes you feel cared for and secure.

“You know, it took me a long time to move on. It was different back then; the men in my life never tried to understand, not really. But you’re trying and that’s what’s important for Ben. You’re a good man, Callum. The best I could ask for for my boy. Don’t doubt yourself.”

Callum swallows for a moment; the words clinging to the back of his throat with no escaping. He’s heard Kathy say he’s good for Ben, the best thing that ever happened to him. He has heard multiple family members tell him that. Even Ben himself. But somehow, hearing her say it right now, right here makes Callum more choked up than ever before.

He doesn’t know what to say; how to answer her. He wants to assure her that Ben is also the best thing that ever happened to him. That their family means more to him than anything ever has in his entire life. That her son’s heart is in the safest hands possible.

Before he can even attempt to voice any of it though, Ben’s voice cuts through the silence between him and Kathy.

“Hey, sorry about that, babe. That job was trickier than I thought. Hey, mum.”

Ben stops right next to the chair Kathy is sitting on, leaning down to press a quick kiss to her cheek in greeting. It’s obvious he’s completely oblivious to the heavy tone of the conversation before or the way their smiles are slightly dimmed.

Callum can’t help the skip in his heartbeat when he sees Ben’s smile at them now though. The image of him completely broken and unresponsive on those trash bags still thrums around in the back of his mind sometimes and seeing how far he’s come since then and how much he has worked on himself never fails to fill Callum’s heart with pride at his husband.

He’s so incredibly proud of him. And he didn’t think it was possible but he loves Ben even more today than he did any other day before that.

He keeps watching Ben talk to his mum, just observing the way they interact with one another and the ease they have with each other now. Kathy’s words keep going round and round in his head. Maybe he was too caught up in his own insecurities; too consumed by his own doubts.

Ever since they got back together, Ben has been absolutely clear on what’s okay for him to do and what he’s uncomfortable with. They worked through a lot together. They talked, they discussed, they tried. If Ben is sure about these things, who is Callum to tell him otherwise? He’ll still worry, of course he will; it's his default setting as Ben Mitchell’s husband, but he has to lay his trust in Ben the same way he trusts Callum.

If Kathy thinks he’s doing things right, there must be something to it.

They’re about to head out of the door, ready to finally start their weekend together after a busy week of work and dealing with family stuff, when Callum turns around to face Kathy one more time. She’s back behind the counter now, wiping down the surfaces and getting everything ready for closing.

“Kathy? Thanks.”

She gives him one of those warm, motherly smiles of hers and only nods her head at him in acknowledgement. He’s glad he shared his thoughts and worries with her today and he’s even more grateful she managed to quell some of them with her perspective. He’s grateful he has someone like her as his mother-in-law.

He joins Ben outside of the café, reaching out to thread their hands together tightly. He’s alright. They’re alright. That’s all that matters.

#ballum #ballum fic #my writing #i really enjoyed writing these two together. don't know how in-character kathy is but i did my best with their dynamic

[barnbridges]

there is one very obvious explication to why out of all the hampdenians, it's marion who ends decayed in spite of not having "sinned" in any fundamental way, and that is that she shouldn't be looked at as a hampden student, but as a corcoran from the beginning. now this explication fits the bill, as anything we hear about them is either nondescript of absolutely tacky or terrible - about in tune with marion herself.

but this rises the question, if she's always meant to be read as one of them, is it as daughter or wife.

this seems like a ridiculous inquiry at first, because there's no character more wife, richard out the gate comparing her and bunny to long-married couples. but that still arises the question, if she's symbolically already married to him, her marrying his brother would be incestuous in taste, even if they do not share any blood directly. which makes you question... is she not familially linked to him by virtue of being predestined to be married to his brother instead? which one is the "right" husband? the first one, dead at 24, or the one who stood up and had a child with her?

while the answer will be "who put the ring on it, who is the father of marion's child?" but who is said child named after? whose daughter is mary katherine? what is she but a junior and posthumous child. brady corcoran might biologically be her father and marion's husband, but what is his daughter but the same bunny being born again out of the love marion had for him. it's in the name too, what is marion but another name for mary? that's both their names. in a child.

so this rises the question again, if the incestuous nature seems hard to determine, is it even dependent on who is who and the child is whose?

marion is not just a wife and the mother of the child, but arguably the one whose nature is that of the corcoran's own kind. shrewed, closed off, ever-happy, moody, taciturn, morally-bizarre and seemingly bizarre and indescribable to richard even years later. is she not by this point not Just a daughter in the law in the tune of the two lisas, but her own presence? hard to say, we don't hear of ole kathy after richard's suicide attempt.

what is certain is that the child that bears the name of marion also bears the name and mark of kathy. woman. she's mary katherine and she's bunny, daughter to marion, granddaughter to katherine. and what is this but a communion itself, of the same sort that marion has with kathy's two sons? while the two daughters in law steal kathy's pills, steal her sons, what did marion do but beg to be let in and gave her a gift atop it too.

#while the comparison is to say marion individually and independently of the blond men is shewed and locked into the country club herself #i do think marion is not anything if not the animus to bunny's anima #the man he could never be in a woman #authoritative and loving and able to navigate the world #and have dignity too #be functional #they aren't siblings in the way of blood they are the same person and it's really disturbing <3

[mishwanders]

I’m the cheating anon and the answers made me laugh 😂

I meant cheating in a relationship. Who’s most likely and least likely to cheat on their partner ?

It was so late for me that I was unsure but BOW game night sounds like a hell of a lot of insane fun 🤣 thanks for the clarification!

Alright so, I’ve listed it out with my reasons why. I’m not trying to slander any characters and no hate to any of them, I’m just basing this off of what I know from the games/movies and my own bullshit. Alright yall, here we go!

Most Likely to Cheat:

President Benford and President Graham - they’re both cheating on Leon with the First Lady and Benford had a mistress.

Ramon Salazar - he has a castle, but only if he could get bitches without forcefully dragging them there. (Also, I’m just finding out his name is Ramon?! Tf?!)

Osmund Saddler - has too many bitches in black cloaks and an entire village of people he infected. This man is like King Solomon over here with his 1000 wives.

William Birkin - man was married to Annette and decided to get married to his work and I don’t even know if that was consensual between him and her.

Jessica Scherawart - my girl switched teams so fast. She flirted with Chris and then when she realized he wasn’t interested, she started talking to sugar daddy Parker about shopping trips and a fancy dinner. She wants what she wants and I respect her for it.

Jack Krauser - would leave anyone for Leon, and tbh I don’t blame him for that. I feel the same about Chris lmao.

Lucas Baker - did y’all see how quickly he changed up his demeanor with Chris in the DLC? He’d be indecisive.

Alfred Ashford - creepily obsessed with his sister… like way too obsessed.

Brian Irons - uh, did you see how many woman he kidnapped? Run away. Like seriously.

Derek Simmons - man can’t decide what he wants, he transforms at least 4 times in game. He also cries a lot about Ada and that’s not healthy tbh.

Lickers - they will lick anything, don’t think that tongue is just reserved for you.

Morgan Lansdale - man did a lot of hiding and covering up stuff in regards to his involvement with terragregia, I 100% expect him to do the same in a relationship.

Mother Miranda - you wouldn’t even know she was doing it because she’s a shape shifter. You could probably die happy thinking things were good and not even know.

Sergei Vladimir - daddy vladi is a little too obsessed with the red queen and if he could fuck a computer system I think he would.

Ada Wong - no hate at all, but we’ve seen how she yanks Leon along. It’s not a healthy relationship to say the least.

Excella Gionne - she’s in it for the money and power, not for love.

Ricardo Irving - again he’s in it for power and money, just no.

Least Likely to Cheat:

Salvator Moreau - did you see how loyal he was to mother Miranda? Man worshiped her fr and he would do the same for you if he cared that much.

Nemesis - would treat you right and stay by your side all night. Also, tentacles to keep you close like a leash.

Mr. X - same thing as nemesis, he’ll follow you to the ends of the earth and put those fists to good use.

Parker Luciani - he’s a sugar daddy who will take care of you.

Marguerite and Jack Baker - they love each other your honor.

Ethan and Mia Winters - again, THEY’RE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR!

Barry and Kathy Burton - AGAIN THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH!

Albert Wesker - if you’ve caught his attention long enough, then you have it for life.

Alcina Dimitrescu - will always have time for you dearest.

Dimitrescu daughters - if they’ve caught you, they’ve caught you and you ain’t going anywhere else.

Hunk - my boy is so dedicated, he’d know how to take care of you.

Josh Stone - HES UNDERRATED AND DESERVES THE LOVE I KNOW THIS MAN COULD GIVE! Y’all see him protecting Jill in the DLC?! LOOK AT HIM GOD DAMN IT!

Sasha aka Buddy - oh you know his dick is big. He started fighting a war because the love of his life was taken from him.

Karl Heisenberg - like Wesker, if you get his attention, you have it for life. Also, no running because you won’t get away far.

Tyrell Patrick - he’s smart as hell and would protect you at all cost

Urias - will attack, will protect.

Donna Beneviento - she so nice and would keep you comfy always.

Helena Harper - she’s got a mean demeanor but she’d love you always.

Billy Coen - he strong, he cares, he’s also got nice hair.

Piers Nivans - dedicated golden retriever boy

Jake Muller - if you can keep up with his lifestyle, he’d have your back at all times.

Adult Sherry Birkin - she learnt from her parents and all of the adults she’s around (except for Simmons) has daughter what healthy relationship can look like. She’d be great.

Alright and for the ones everyone’s been waiting for because I’ve been the way that I am….

Drum roll please.

Jill Valentine - a whole wife, she will protect and love you with everything she has.

Carlos Oliveira - same as Jill. He also had floofy hair and would be obsessed with you petting him.

Claire Redfield - super smart and falls super hard super fast in love. You just gotta keep that fire going in her and it’s forever my dear.

Rebecca Chambers - she’s so sweet and caring and she’d fix up any injuries you got? Yes, I love her your honor and she’d love you too.

Sheva Alomar - loyal as fuck bro. She’s got you back fr fr bby.

Chris Redfield - my man who’s about actions is gonna SHOW YOU HOW YOU DESERVE TO BE CARED FOR!

Leon Kennedy - my man got them sweet words and he’d going to tell you everything and reassure you anytime you feel the opposite.

I hope that answers your question <3

#Mish rambles #resident evil #I’m not even going to begin to put in their names in this tag #my thumbs hurt from making this