#more on: I CANT DRAW LUCA'S HAIR

[thingsarenotgoinhwell]

✨byclair hcs!✨

the obvious will would’ve come to lucas’s game and give mike and dustin shit about not caring about lucas’s interests. because he knows what its like to feel ignored from s3

will would love drawing lucas can you blame him lucas is gorgeous and would doodle him on everything and lucas would keep them and tressure them forver

lucas would try to teach will to play basketball you cant tell me something like thing wouldnt happen

will cant drive for shit and lucas chauffeurs him everywhere✨

similar to lucas teaching will to play basketball will would teach lucas how to draw and they’d draw when they are stressed or just bored. lucas is super self deprecating and will never lets him make fun of himself

 will i think after a little bit would get comfortable and start being like sassy will would be the “oh my god your soooo annoying” and lucas would be the “but you looovvveee meeee” and will would roll his eyes and put his arm around lucas’s shoulder and smile and be like “your lucky your right” IDK I CAN SEE IT

lucas is the one who’d be super afraid of bugs and will would send them all to their deaths

they both love horror movie and will, will is a complete connoisseur and would never get scared and lucas would get scared at all the jumpscares and hold wills hand and will would just kinda laugh and roll his eyes smiling

lucas would be really like show offy like always wants to impress will or pick him or get him to laugh and when he succeeds and will laughs or blushes or something lucas feels like so fucking proud for no reason

they are the kings of forehead kisses and cheek kisses it is constant and dustin and max tease them relentlessly about it

LUCAS’S LETTERMANNNNNNN it is a rare sight to see will without it on and another rare sight to see lucas not being obsessed on how will looks in it its win win lucas is like so proud all the time that we wears it

lucas is also kinda proud to date will in general like everytime they have a positive interaction lucas is just internally going “letsss fuckkinggg goooooo”

so obviously they wrote letters to eachother while will was in california and its kinda blurry but im pretty sure lucas has his new haircut in wills painting and i hc that will was super nervous to like ask lucas to send a polaroid of himself but he did and he keep the picture on his dresser and when will asked lucas was super nervous to get a good picture and also kinda flustered about will asking but with max’s help they got a really nice picture

i hcs lucas love language as physical touch so lucas is always touching will hair or holding hands or the as i mentions forehead and cheek kisses

i think theyd argue alot about which male celebrities are hot like anytime they watch a movie they always talk about whos hot and who aint

so theyd obviously go on an art museum date that lucas would surprise will with and lucas would drive them while wills in charge of music and will is amazed by everything and would have just a wide eyed look the whole time and lucas is like staring admiring will in his element

also at the art museum lucas would try to be all conceptual and like say dumb smart sounding shit about all the paintings and impress him and also just make him laugh and will would laugh so much and like shove him and giggle and it would be fucking adorable.

soooo lucas would be super flirty and charming like really charming and hes smirk and smile so much at will. at first will would be kinda nervous and flustered like embarrassed but then he started play along saying shit like “i bet you say that to all you boyfriends😏” but then… he started to flirt back and lucas… was not expecting that and every fucking time will was flirty lucas would die he would stutter and blush like crazy he would totally short circuit

bro… i may like byclair more than i thought i tried to keep it short i swear😅

let me know if i should do a part 2 or recommend others ships or characters hcs are my favorite

just tagging some fellow byclairs

@braydenbylerblog @blueperiood @schnappled @duquesah @disasterblogsstuff @captinsteveharrington

#byclair #stranger things #byler #idk if i should tag this as byler but yall are still my people and i hope you appreciate it

[kimiehashobbies]

Night time greetings ladybugs,

Im feel so much better! Just had to work through some melancholy but im back at it. I have not done much working out this week but thats ok. What matters is im back on schedule tomorrow.

Something good I focused on during my low mood period: I finished interlocking my locs. I have microlocs so it always takes me 3-7 days. I really try to take my time. I recently cut off 3 rows in the back. My hair is fine and soft in the back in particular so it wasnt doing well in the loc style. Im going to just leave it alone. Just do wash and go in the back for it. Its a good reminder that sometimes we have to go with the flow. People wont like it but thats ok. I've had locs since October 2019. Its been amazing and freeing. I wear my hair for me now. Im comfortable with all the imperfections. I started them myself and maintain them myself. I learned from watching youtube videos. Im probably going to dye my hair again soon. I'll show pics when I finally do it. Im trying to pick a color. I didnt like dyeing my roots so i wont be doing that again. I like a soft dark brown eyebrow and root. Looks better to me.

I also got more yard work done. We are going to start spreading seeds. Its been over run with weeds but the worst part is the stickers. Awful for all of us but mostly our Luca. Im going to work really hard this spring to get the yard growing.

Not too much else has happened. Im back at it with my fitness, art and writing now that my mood has gotten optimistic! I have an idea for a comic book and thats what im working on for my art. Im casually drawing my 1st comic strip (i have 4 ideas) i hope i can get that first strip out this month. My timeline is kind of off a little. I haven't written at all in 2 weeks. Im picking that back up. I should've had this first idea done but I get so in my head about if its good enough. I'll never know if it is good enough unless i finish. Oh and also, I have not even looked at my Banjo so...... I take full accountability I failed at that goal.

Just a piece of wisdom I've learned is that opportunity wont just magically come without inner work. I've had beautiful ideas in my mind for at least a decade but I've always had self doubt and I'm an expert at self sabotaging. I have to get this creativity out there because its what i love and its who i am. Sometimes it is you yourself that holds you back. 2024 im done hiding, I will start this creative journey and document it the whole way through. I've got this and I want this. I believe in me and thats where action starts.

Ladybugs if you feel called to do something, just do it. The regret from not doing it sooner (or at all) will eat away at you. You cant fail if you dont try, BUT (but, but, but) you cant succeed either. You gotta believe in you and be your biggest fan.

As my favorite poet Jermaine Cole wrote "There's beauty in the struggle..."

🫶🏾🐞Kimie

#hobbies #melancholy #locs #feelinghappyagain #failure #beautyinthestruggle

[voidwritesstuff]

Savior Of Lost Hope AU

A/n: im not dead!! The fics not dead!!!

Chapter 3.

Summary: after finding Dr.Wales,the crew needs to find a way to bring him back. Even if they dont like what they have to do to accomplish it.

--How long do you think itll take em in there?--Jerico asked doodling on a spare piece of paper.

--couple 'o days?--Rosemary replied, sitting beside the girl and handing her a cup of tea-- im sure they'll be fine.

--Yeah I guess..I just cant help but be worried, you know?

The other woman chuckled with a raised brow-- Could it be youre worried about Lucas?

Jeri freaks out, avoiding eye contact and gripping her pen with such force she could break it in half. --'m worried about everyone.

Rose chuckles and raises her brow-- sure you are-- she takes a sip from her coffee and looks at what her companion is drawing. Its clearly Lucas, she can tell by the green flannel and the curly black hair. She smiles at it but doesnt say anything.

--Okay so what if I am-- the girl replied,shrugging to play it off.

--Nothing, I just... I think its cute-- she replied-- my friend has been through it. And I appreciate you making him happy, thank you

Jerico smiles, she rubbs the sleep out of her eyes and says-- well...'m glad I can make him happy. Hes- god, hes just so cute

Rosemary is about to say something when she hears the radio go-- attention! Attention! This is Radioman, do you read Angel? -- its Lucas,because of course he butts in before she can hear all about her companions crush.

Both women roll their at the codenames. The scientist graba the radio and says-- Ten-four Radioman. Whats your status

Theres a brief moment before they hear him say-- we've found Savior. We repeat, we found Savior

--Desmond?--Jerico asked leaning closer, overjoyed by hearing Lucas' voice.

--Radioman,you mean-- the doctor?--The older woman asked.

--Affirmative --Both look at eachother and smile, high fiving eachother-- theres...a slight complication,though

--How slight?-- Lucas heard rosemary's annoyed voice. He takes a solid minute and adds-- he doesnt remember Us- I mean he does, but he doesnt remember how he got here or who he was. And apparently, hes "locked" in here by his amnesia. -- he rubs his face with his free hand, stress picking at his nervous system,his eyes on the floor.

More silence ensues for a few minutes, until he hears Jerico go-- you call that slight?!

At the voice, the Man smiles and looks up as if she was standing infront of her-- sorry, misused the word.

--Thats one hell of a way to misuse a word-- rosemary grumbled-- ten-four Radioman, do whatever you need to to get him out. Find things that Will remind him of who he is. Angel out.

The line cuts and Lucas is left to figure this out on his own. He turns to desmond,lost in conversation with Allen as Virginia looks at his clothes,mesmerized by the design.

--i swear ill get a stress ulcer one day-- he growls,turning to Desmond and saying-- Doc! Can you tell me everything again,from the top?

With the patience of a saint, Desmond nodds and smiles. Its a warm,understanding smile-- Well, I remember walking here aimlessly, I found this place eventually and then...-- he thinks for a brief moment,turning to Tonia who was still asleep-- Tonia found me, we made this place our home

-- But how did you get here -- Virginia asked-- I mean what made you find this place

The house shakes and the light dims,even the one coming from the sun. The feathers on the doctor's wings ruffle-- I would rather not talk about it, I cant...remember it well and I do not like how painful it is to remember-- he looks away, the rings with Many eyes look away at the floor-- but please,make yourseleves at home

Before either if them say a Word, the Man kicks up in flight and soon hes lost between the Many bookshelves of the place.

--Jesus fucking christ-- Lucas complains,passing his hands through his face.

--Now what?-- Asked Max,folding his arms over his chest.

--Well figure it out!-- Allen chirped, leaning on Virginia a little-- as the doc always said! Patience and Grace!

At the phrase,tonia raises her head and mewls, stretching and walking over to the Group. She nuzzles Allen's hand and tugs at his fisherman sweater, guiding Him to the Hall outside the Office.

--maybe she wants us to follow-- Virginia suggested,pushing a strand of curly black hair behind her ear.

-- Ah well why the hell not--Lucas agreed-- s'not like we have any better ideas.

And so,they follow her out, back to the series of paintings in the Hall. The ex lighthouse keeper looks at them, inspecting them and putting the pieces together. Its actually him who actually figures it out-- c-correct me if im wrong here but... look-- he gestures at the first painting, its the view of an Angel,that looks an awful lot like desmond,fighting off a demon of dark skin and multi colored goo-- this is desmond, fighting against the chem-- the house rattles a little,he flinches-- fighting the You Know What.

He moves to the other picture of the Angel being brought down by the demon. -- he lost the battle,whatever the battle was-- he walks to the one Next to the previous painting. This one is Desmond- the Angel being trapped by five chains. One of them is white,the other four are Green,Red,blue,magenta.

--Didnt the doc have tapes color coded?-- Virginia asked-- when we had a session he would always record them in a magenta tape.

-- mine was blue-- Allen added-- what color were you two's tape

--Green-- Lucas answered

--Red-- replied Max.

--Do you think the chains represent us?-- Virginia asked, looking at the picture.

--Why the hell would it represent us?-- Max asked, looking at the painting as well.

--Well...we are his patients arent we?--Allen asked, as a cloud obscured the sun for a brief moment. Tonia nuzzles his hand as if to agree with him-- we are part of him 

--But why would we chain him down in some way?--Lucas asked-- 'm gonna call rosemary

They wait a few minutes until Rosemary picks up, Lucas explains what happened and waits for an answer. -- I honestly dont have an idea.. if the You Know What-- she felt a little silly for calling Agent Rainbow that-- is everything we repress, its probably something that he doesnt want to face. Something hes ashamed of

--Guilt!-- jerico jumps in-- its guilt isnt it?

--But why would he feel guilt towards us?-- Virginia asked.

--Well, think of it this way- now,this is personal experience but-- jeri starts, nobody comments on how Keen Lucas is to hear her voice-- the picture shows him being chained down by something having to do with you guys, what chains us most its guilt and shame. Maybe, he feels like he hasnt done enough with you guys, as if he failed you

--But he didnt-- Allen said.

--But he doesnt know that-- jerico added-- maybe you guys need to find a way to get him to see that

--Well thats all fine and dandy,but what about the fifth chain, the white one?--Max asked.

--Maybe the fifth one is himself. Maybe if we make him forgive himself-- rosemary jumped in.

-- And how the hell do we do that?-- Max asked again

Lucas sighs and says-- ten four Angel. We'll start with what we have. Over and out -- the line cuts and tonia grabs Lucas by the sleeve of his jacket with her mouth, pulling him down the stairs with the rest of the Group

--Its like tonia knows-- Virginia said-- maybe whatever desmond doesnt remember, she does. Thats why shes guiding us

--Animals are always on some freaky psychic bullshit-- Max grumbled,Lucas cant help but chuckle.

They reach the first floor once more as tonia guides them down another corridor. There are four Doors with each of their names, and one simple note on the round table in the middle. The handwriting is scratchy and the paper is stained with oil, it simply read "face your demons to be free. There is no turning back".

--Thats not ominous at all-- Virginia remarked.

--God knows what the hell theres behind those Doors-- Lucad said-- tonia,what are we supposed to do?-- the cat nodded towards the note.

Virginia sighed and Walked up to the door with her name, the doorknob is a magenta gem which has cracks in it. She can see her own reflection-- what the note said? Theres no turning back...?-- she sighs-- we're trapped arent we? We either get desmond out or we die with him? -- unfortunately,tonia nodds-- great..

Mustering all her courage, she twists the knob and enters, before anyone can say anything.

The room within is black, it shifts to a dark magenta color every once in a while. As she walks, the room fills with eyes that stare at her,voices that pick at her scarred face.

Virginia recoils into herself, face Burning with shame-- stop it!-- she mutters, but the eyes Open wider And the voices get louder-- I said shut up!--she screams but it only gets worse.

Tvs appear as she keeps walking,eyes staring intensily at her, mannequins with names like "denis" and "Jorge" appear. But she keeps walking.

--Oh god,not you-- she mutters as a mannequin with the name of "Dave" appears in the middle of her path. The voices whisper things like "ugly", "useless", "everyone Gates you"-- no no no- not you! -- she kneels on the ground and covers her ears, the voices grow in volume. Louder,louder,LOUDER.

Until she remembers what rosemary said. "You might find your shadow selves,those things you repress"

Virginia thinks of desmond,trapped in this hellhole, she knows theres no turning back. She stands up, her body shakes and she walks with stumbling steps. "Youre loved,youre safe, youre loved,youre safe" she mutters to herself, hugging her own body and concentrating on her own voice until the voices go quiet.

She walks past the mannequin and pushes it to the ground, it shatters And she finds strength to Straight her back and Keep walking.

Before her is a small glass table, with a magenta key on it. Behind the table is a round mirror. As shes about to Grab the key,a clawy ghastly hand comes from the mirror and clutches her wrist.

Virginia yelps and pulls back, but the shape of a ghost woman comes from the mirror and looks at her,her face is cracked,her voice weak--...stop-- she says.

--Why?

--You really wanna go back? They think the worst of us..our family- we are never enough..

The woman coos soothingly, she doesnt let go of the key but she does say-- We are enough,and youre beautiful. The people out there like us, we are loved. And...im sorry you were convinced that you werent-- she pulls the ghastly woman for a hug and she hugs tight-- we are safe, we are loved,we are enough, we are beautiful

Her shadow self nodds and lets go, the glass shatters but it doesnt hurt her. Then,the room dissolves and she walks back out of the room with the key.

--Virginia!--The three men shout once shes our of the room. Allen hugs her friend tight and shakes her

--I!!!was!!!so!! Worried!!--he yelled.

--how was it In there kid?-- Lucas asked, pulling her in for a tight hug

Virginia Hugs back and explains everything that happened, what she saw, what she did to confront her shadow self and what be got in return.-- maybe thats how we free desmond-- she says.

--Well isnt that lovely-- Max grumbled.-- I aint got nothing to repress

The other three look at him-- dude...-- Lucas says-- are ya sure -- Max looks away and keeps quiet.

Allen sighs through his nose and looks at his door-- for the doc,right?-- he asks mostly to himself.

Virginia puts her hand on his shoulder and squeezes it-- you got this

The ex lighthouse keeper walks towards his door, the knob is a bright yellow, and its like it was melting. Like wax or like something under an intense heat-- for the doc-- he whispers before twistint the knob and entering

#oc: the blaze/the ember ism #ism lucas #lucas cole #ism desmond wales #ism desmond #ism tonia #virginia ruhl #allen shore #max nygaard #ism max #ism allen #ism virginia #in sound mind #ism

[pineaplesoooodaaaaa]

hi guys were really desperate to grow our discord server to a point where we can partner so im promoting it here. please consider joining, i'd say we're pretty stellar people why you should join: we're like semi active and thats really impressive we're gay you're gay we like balloons you like balloons it's an international server and i know like what 5 languages so i bet you can practice languages if you wanna we watch movies you do too we play games i read you probably also read say gay fanfiction on ao3 so it's close enough the name of the server is sponge and come one thats fucking hilarious we play genshin (and also are decent people i hope) you get to rant about hot big titty milf we will listen i watch a lot of sad gay indie films and i have a list of all of em so if you join i will send you list of sad gay indie films and i see that as a win win we do movie nights actually we can watch sad gay indie films together thats pretty romantic also i have like good grades im smart occasionally we can discuss cool topics i still cant ride a bike nor solve a rubics cube tho also i love stranger things we can talk about stranger things my favorite characters are lucas, max, el, will, joyce, nancy and steve im a multishipper but some ships i like are lumax (my fav), byler and jopper (JOPPER FOR THE WIN!!!) i also like bob tho i love bob everyone loves bob i draw i draw a lot a lot of the people in the server also draw a lot we like worms also like turtles and frogs WE LOVE MUSICALS!!!! MY FAVS ARE: BE MORE CHILL, HAIR AND FIDDLER ON THE ROOF you also like musicals you literally cannot be gay and not like musicals my friends love heathers i didnt watch it yet but i wanna i make bad puns i think thats a good enough reason to join by itself we should totally become friends you should totally join the server. • https://discord.gg/mF47tgYuCJ

#YES RAY WE WILL JOIN THE SERVER!!! #tumblr #discord server #genshin #musicals #stranger things #lgbtq+ #language #promoting #lol #join now #you will love it #bro i swear #heathers #be more chill #hair the musical #sponge #cottagecore #alternative #nature #p #w #slay #so real #i dont know #what else #to tag or not to tag #tags are confusing #is this enough tags #dark aesthetic

[neonkoii]

+ jane n jonathan borrow wills art supplies by sayin "hey can i use this for a bit ^-^" n then never give it back

+ jonathan n argyle drive down to la one night n stay for a week . joyce files a missin persons report . the two end up gettin arrested for shopliftin n thats how joyce finds out where they r

+ their neighbors dont like them much

+ will spends time at the skatepark . he cant skate . he jus goes there to sketch the other people skatin to practice anatomy

+ jonathan gave up photography after he left hawkins

+ joyce likes to teach jane different things to cook

+ they all share clothes . they dont have enough money to afford a lot more clothes, so they jus share . jonathan n joyce share shirts, jonathan n joyce n jane share skirts, will lets jane borrow some of his shorts, ect ect

+ everyone in the party has an older brother/older brother figure . mike has eddie, lucas has jason, dustin has steve, will + jane have jonathan, n max had billy

+ mike cannot draw for the life of them . he tries todraw a portrait of will n it looks really bad n max makes fun of him n hes all :[ but then will sees it n hes so !!!!!!!!!!!! bc its him !!!! mike tried to draw HIM !!!!!!

+ jane LOVES stuffed animals . she has a collection in like this net hung up in the corner of her room, n her bed is COVERED w stuffies . most of them r from hopper (he had them left after sarah)

+ dustin eats paper . its a horrible habit but he does . sometimes he eats plastic too . the party used to give him their trash after lunch bc he would straight up jus eat it .

+ lucas has an obsession w scented candles

+ lucas jus likes scented things in general . he will only use scented glue stricks but like the shitty kind . it drives max insane .

+ suzie n jane would b besties im not even jokin . suzie would probably b besties w the entire byers-hopper family . autistic to autistic communication

+ lucas n jonathan hold will hold grudges until their death days . lucas still hasnt forgiven mike fully for that one fight in s1 . jonathan has also not fully forgiven steve for 'nancy the slut' + the insults afterwards .

+ holly n erica get along some how ?? they bond over their hatred of their brothers /j

+ eddie doesnt know who jane is but he knows who will is bc mike wont shut the fuck up ab him . eddie looks at him like I Know What You Are

+ the wheelers tan vv easily, as do the hargrove-mayfields .

+ the byers dont tan but they get sunburned !! its really annoyin too bc joyce always forgets sunscreen n ofc the other three dont remember either

+ jason used to host sleepovers for the basketball team every night before a big game

+ mike picks up eddies music taste n it drives his family insane bc ted doesnt like music, karen only like pop, nancy mostly listens to classical music n gets annoyed by rock, n holly thinks its too loud

+ dustin had a hamster named mr figglebottom in the fifth grade . mike accidentally killed it n lucas panicked n flushed it down the toilet . dustin thought mr figglebottom ran away until will accidentally spilled the beans in seventh grade

+ eddie is gay n he is out . like it is public knowledge that this man is gay which is why everyone jus kinda avoids him . mike n dustin n lucas didnt know that before joinin hellfire . i dont think mike or lucas wouldve joined if they knew tbhh

+ mikes fave color is yellow . lucas's is dark blue . dustin didnt know the concept of a favorite color was a real thing

+ steve n mike r strangely besties ?? like steve goes to mike w relationship issues n mikes like "cool ??? i dont care"

+ mike had a small crush on eddie (like a celebrity crush . eddie thought it was cute but obvi didnt feel the same) until he watched eddie shove a tater tot up his nose

+ max doesnt like her hair color but lucas LOVES IT

+ been toyin around w the idea of ftm max ?? but anyway i think at some point max cuts her hair really short

+ joyce cuts all her kids' hair

+ jane was really excited when joyce offered to cut her hair bc !!!! shes part of the family now !!!!!

+ jason was actually really nice before everythin happened w chrissy . he would go out shoppin w lucas n the rest of the basketball team n he would pay for movie tickets + meals n he always made sure to get to know the team

+ mike n chrissy were friends (dustin n chrissy shared a class n had to partner up for somethin, but dustin was busy the only times chrissy was free, so he roped mike into doin the project for him)

+ nancy offers to rent movies from family video for mike jus so she can talk to steve n robin

SORRY THIS IS A LOT . AM CURRENTLY THINKIN OF MORE SO WILL SEND SOME LATER SOON AHSDJFKLDS

THIS this THIS THIS THIS!!!! you are always so real and true and correct but these are THE MOST correct dude

#I HAV A NET OF STUFFIES ABOVE MY DESK IN MY ROOM!!!!!!! i know exactly what u mean #rowe responses #shawn tag #save #fave

[raid3r-r4bbit]

OC Creation Asks: 1, 3, 4, and 12 for all

Jolt-

he changed a lot at one point, but he's always had electric ~abilities~ and he started with white hair and well, now he still has it. he's also always had blue eyes. When I orginally made him i just wanted a cool electric dude with white hair.

he's had a few names, but the name 'jolt' was because a friend made a joke "call him sparky, or jolt lol" and there we go. as for his real name, lucas valdez, I mostly just thought it sounded nice. lucas means "briger of light" and valdez has a few meanings but "brave" is the one i like the most.

I really wanted him out of all the characters to have been the most traveled, and to have been the one to actually understand the duality of the wasteland. areas that are desolete and obsolete, void and unforgiving, but aso places that are filled with life. I wanted him to be a traveler because it suits him, out of place in an out of place world.

being corrected by my grandmother for my admititly poor grammar in spanish. I dont show here everything and there are certain things ( mostly swearing, but i dont need help with that part lol) that i often struggle with in spanish. I grew up around people who didnt even speak english, so you'd think id be fully fluent, but i grew up speaking spanglish, which is both bad english and spanish grammar. :)

Bux

I wanted bux to be goofy and fun, light hearted but a little sinister. Like he seems fun and jovial buttheres something off about him, but i also wanted him to be creative and curious. I also wanted to make a character with some kind of black out tattoos.

Male rabbits are called 'bucks'. I thought it was fitting. His real name, Sawyer Kelly, hold no real meaning to his character, and again, i just liked it. It's Irish, and he's irish, a lot of people from west virginia are irish.

His father's farm. I feel okay spoiling this because even if i do bring it up later it's inconsequential to the plot, But his father ows the farm he lives on. its a small farming settlement that supplies a few local settlements, set away from them specifically to avoid raiders and pest animals from attacking and infesting settlements, and also to provide expansion room if needed. The walls of the farm are tall and looming, specifically designed to look like a prison.

his face, i can never draw it consistantly.

Keres-

I wanted a cool witchy character. I dont see enough of a sort of 'wasteland witch' aesthetic, and i also wanted a lot of nature to play in. apperance wise, their make up and outfit is almost exactly the same as the concept art.

I looked up cool witchy names on google. Keres is the name of these greek dieties/creatures that are supposed to be harbingers of death, but it also reminded me of kerosene. Talutah is a native american name, and it means 'blood' or 'blood red', Elsher means 'defender of men' and is irish. (keres is not technically soiux, they're meant to be inuit and irish, but i really liek the name talutah.)

pretty much the same as jolt, but on the opposite. where jolt is meant to be well traveled to iscolate him, keres is well traveled as a means to meld them with everything.

despite never posting it, i actually doodle keres all the time, they're probably the easiest of the 4 to draw for me. I would post more of my doodles but i often doodle on paperwork, and its often sensitive company info that i cant release so i dont risk it.

Rikki-

pig tails. I wanted her to be cute and fun. I also wanted her to stand out without doing anything special, so her design is intentionally (bland is not the word im looking for but idk how to describe it?)

I thought it was funny, and i had to pick a legal name cause of course i did.

Living with keres. I dont really show much of rikki's backstory both because its… a lot… but also because she doesnt need it. obviously it impacts her, but as previously mentioned shes the most mentally healthy of the group. without spoiling to much, living with keres is really the only freedom she's ever had, so essentially its the only life she knows, and fit into her surroundings well. ( now that im typing this im not sure i understand this prompt fully, and i hope these explanations actually make sense?)

she's a girl and i am not an ~expert~ at drawing women. I learned how to draw men from classic anatomy books, which typically show masculine musculature, and on top of that I don't have a lot of women to reference. ( nor would i ask them because asking a guy to pose for something, or posing myself is so much less weird then asking a woman to do it and i don't want to feel like a creep) and even though my a parents complain about all my characters being 'skinny' ( even though I've explained that for most of them like, jolt and bux, are constantly on the move and literally live in a wasteland where food is likely either scarce or toxic) for her its more than intentional. and again, I've learned to draw people based off books or the people around me, and all the women in my family are curvy or just as muscular as the men. So drawing a cute, skinny, white girl is not really something i have an abundance of in my portfolio.

#oc asks #RR OC STUFF #HV comic stuff #oc jolt #oc bux #oc keres #oc rikki

[besidethedyingfire]

I'm already so pumped for your story 👀 The concept is just so cool !! Do you have a physical description of the LI ? I'd love to draw them !!

thank you so so much, and your art is gorgeous ?? i cant believe someone actually wants to draw my characters, haha.

Okay, so thing is— physically describing people is my weakness, I am so bad at it that I usually just get people to wait and read the story so they can gauge how the characters look from that,, but for you I will try <3 please please let me know if you need specifics, again i suck at physical descriptions

Messina is 5’9, and mixed race. She is half white, half Māori with mid-back length, dark hair that’s loosely curled. She has full lips, dark eyes and a gaze that breaks, you know? She’s slim, but toned, especially in the arms— huntress things haha

Murphy is 6’2, and also mixed race (him and Messina are twins) so half white, half Māori. His hair is long enough to tie back, but he’s always got those bits of hair framing his face when it’s up because they’re too short to be tied back. Dark eyes as well, nice cheekbones— not sure how else to describe them than ‘nice’, lol. He’s quite muscular, as a soldier and has a pretty good build to him.

Summer is 5’1 and a dirty blonde. She’s white, and has very pretty green eyes, I imagine them to be slightly downturned too. Button nose— and like canonically her ears are very elf-shaped. don’t ask why, they just are haha. Summer is curvy, very adorable— her hair is pretty straight, too, but sometimes it’s got a wave to it.

Shaes appearance depends on their gender. Either way, Shae is Indian and has black hair, brown eyes and a beautiful downturned nose. Shae is 6’3 regardless of gender.

Female Shae wears her hair long, and often braided in one french braid down her back (summer braids it for her <3) She has a slim figure, very agile if that helps, and usually when out is wearing a black bandana covering her mouth and nose.

Male Shae wears his hair shorter, but more like current harry styles short than buzzcut short— you could run your fingers through it for sure. He’s also quite slim, again very agile but not so much muscular like Murphy. Wears a black bandana over his mouth and nose when out.

Lucas is a hopeless white boy, mousy brown curls and pretty green eyes. Also has lil freckles just under his eyes, and pretty long eyelashes. Lucas has a smaller nose, and average sized lips— he has a scar that runs from the left side of his bottom lip down to his chin. Skinny boy, but decently built, he’s 6’0, and has the most shit eating contagious smile ever.

I’m so sorry if this didn’t help at all i usually just let people imagine their own characters haha— again, sorry!

#Messina Cole #murphy cole #Summer Darcy #Shae Kahn #Lucas Reilly

[mike-wheel]

Hi! So i wrote a vv messy one shot about 7 year old Mike Wheeler proposing to Will :) It’s not my best work but i thought it was cute and i wanted to share

“Shut up! He did not!” Max laughed

“He totally did!” Dustin laughed

“Babe, what compelled you to eat 3 worms?” Max asked Lucas, still laughing at him

“Mike dared me too! He said he’d give me 5 bucks!”

“That didn’t mean you had to do it! You’re just stupid dude!” Mike laughed

“Yeah well…you had proposed to Will in 2nd Grade!” Lucas suddenly retaliated

Mike flushed a little pink in the cheeks. Max and El stared at him laughing, Dustin looked confused and Will surprised.

“Holy shit! You did! I cant believe I almost forgot. You had proposed to me.” Will giggled, giving Mike a little shove in the arm.

“You have to tell us the story stalker!”

“Yeah why haven’t I been told of this?” Dustin questioned

“Because, Lucas had sworn not to mention it, asshole.” Mike sneered

“Well he has to tell us the story now.” El chimed in

“Agreed”

“Okay, okay, so basically-“

“Hey! No you said we wouldn’t talk about this!”

“Shut up Mike” Will said. Mike shut his mouth, crossed his arms and dramatically rolled his eyes.

“So basically, we were walking down the hall to the nurses office after Mike lost his tooth and he was going all..”

————————————————————

“Lucas, Lucas, Lucas!” Mike exclaimed, jumping up and down

“Yeah Mike?” Lucas had become friends with Will during art, and apparently being friends with Will meant you were friends with Mike too. He didn’t mind, he liked him, he was just annoying sometimes.

“I just had the best idea…well aren’t you gonna ask what it is?”

“What is it?”

“I’m gonna ask Will to marry me!”

That wasn’t the best idea Mike ever had. Lucas thought the best idea was when Mike told him to use his licorice as a straw for his soda. It was a good idea though, except that

“Mike you’re 7.”

“I know, but we won’t get married right away, when we’re like 16 or something! And I’m gonna need your help! You have to come over early on Wednesday, please!”

“Hm fine, you have to give me half of your halloween candy stash though.”

“Okay” Mike grumbled as he opened the door to the nurses office

————————————————————

Lucas knocked on the Wheelers door and was immediately met with a frustrated Mike, who shoved flowers into his hand. “Here hold these.” He was struggling with a bow tie, that Lucas had seen him wear on Thanksgiving. He eventually gave up and lead him to the basement.

There was a fort set up, with lights hanging in it.

“Nancy help me set it up” He said proudly

“Wills gonna love it” He said back, noticing that there were more drawings hung on Mikes wall and it was quite messy down here.

“Okay so you have to give him the flowers, say they’re from me obviously, and then bring him down here and i’m gonna ask him in the fort!” He explained, he was still struggling with his bowtie.

“Your hairs messy.” Lucas pointed at Mikes tangled hair.

“Oh no!” Mike patted his hair and then grabbed Lucas’s arm, pulling him up the steps “Help me brush it cmon!”

A little while later, after they fixed Mikes hair, Will had arrived. Mike ran down the basement stairs and Lucas to the door.

“Hello Sir William, these are for you, from Mike.” He said in the fanciest voice he could manage, handing the yellow flowers, that looked like they were picked out of Mrs. Wheelers garden, to Will.

“Hey Lucas! Thanks! They’re pretty” Will admired the flowers, giving them a sniff. “Where’s Mike?”

“Down the stairs! Follow me!” Will ran after Lucas. In the basement, Mike was standing in front of the fort, his bowtie was still crooked, and a ring in his hand.

“Hey Mike! Thanks for the flowers.” Will said, wrapping Mike in a hug. Mike then tugged him into the blanket fort and Lucas not knowing where to go, sat down on the couch listening to the two boys “This is cool! Did you and Lucas build it?”

“Nope, I did, and Nancy helped me.”

“Oh, I like the lights, I should get some for Castle Byers.”

“Thanks! And yeah you definitely should. But anyway I have a question to ask you Will.”

“Okay”

“I think you’re super cool Will” Lucas noted that Mike sounded super nervous, “…and smart and you’re super good at art- oh and pretty! So I wanted to know if you would marry me?” Mike handed Will the ring he had stolen from his mom, it didn’t fit either of them, but neither cared.

Will looked pleasantly surprised. Mike had to explain to Will that they wouldn’t get married right away, and that they would when they were older. Once Will got it, he said yes and they started planning their wedding, calling Lucas to come into the fort to help.

Eventually Joyce came to pick Will up. Will shoved the ring in his jacket pocket and gave Mike a big hug goodbye. He waved goodbye to Lucas and followed his Mom out to the car.

After he left, Mike started jumping up and down once again “He said yes! He said yes!”

Lucas didn’t remember a lot of specifics about that day, except that he remembered that was the happiest Lucas had ever seen Mike those few months he had known him.

“And then, Mike had to ask Will back for the ring like two days later because his mom wanted it back.” Lucas laughed as he finished the story

“Wow Michel you were quite the romantic.” Max remarked

“Yeah Mike, I cant believe I almost forgot.” Will smiled at him, “So when’s the wedding love?” Will teased, leaving Mike a little pink in the cheeks.

I hope you like’s it!! Thank you to my bestie @paladin-n-cleric for helping me come up with this ily <33

#byler #byeler #one shot #mike wheeler #will byers #fluff

[nctharu]

nct 127

haru’s relationship with the nct 127 members ｡ﾟ･ 

taeil 

- he is pretty chill with haru

- mostly because he worries she feels overwhelmed being the youngest and getting so much attention but it doesn't mean he loves her any less though

- he lets her do whatever she wants (unless its something that can harm her)

- if she ever feels down or goes through her depression he doesn't over protect her, but lets haru come to him if she wants to talk to him

- watches her with the biggest eyes and makes sure she takes care of herself, eats, sleeps

- she adores him so much and she loves how patient he is with her because she feels like she can be a burden at times

- taeil warms her heart

- haru appreciates him so much and comes to him for whatever

- he once caught her watching videos of him singing, and she still does

- haru stays a lot in her studio so taeil visits her and checks up on her

- he’s also one of the only people with the pass code to her studio

johnny

- these two are just everything

- the first time they met he took her under his wing

- 100% her dad

- she was so shy and petite, he basically adopted her

- he always has an eye on her because she becomes distracted very quickly

- johnny saw haru grow up and it makes him cry every time he thinks about it

- her personal body guard

- if anyone touches her, they're done

- picks her up whenever

- he is the first person in the “hows ruru” squad, including jaehyun, yuta, lucas, and haechan who basically let each other know when they feel somethings up or when they think she’s going through a tough time

- johnny always tries to get her out of the house since she’s such a homebody

- for haru, she looks up to him so much

- she steals a good 80% of his hoodies and t-shirts

- she always tries to protect him but she’s short

- they always have a good time together and he has slowly gotten her out of her shell

taeyong

- haru’s mom- thats it

- haru randomly stares into his eyes

- you can always find them giving each other small massages whether its in there hand or back

- she really admires him and how hard he works

- but she hates when he overworks himself :(

- they always talk to each other and there is never a day that passes where he doesnt ask her how her day was

- he is on full protective mode when they are out

- he always has her hand in his

- when they first debuted haru would miss a few meals and ever since then taeyong would make sure that she’s eating enough

- he always knows when somethings wrong

- theyve done many vlives together where they paint and draw, its super cute!

- taeyong and nari have such a heartfelt relationship that its hard to fit into such a short space

yuta

- he is whipped for her

- part of the “how’s ruru” squad

- he always wants her near him and when she is she’s just wrapped in his arms

- they are always hugging, holding hands, with consent ofc

- yuta is also very protective of her

- i mean she’s on the shorter side and haru is naive, she will believe anyone

- haru feels safe with all the members but if she had to, she would run to yuta for protection

- they take so many pictures of each other

-  haru is seen jumping on his back in a few videos 

- and yuta doesn't mind a bit

- she was learning a bit of japanese but yuta found out and insisted on teaching her himself

- anime buddies

doyoung

- haru is just a great human and naturally everyone is attracted to her personality and that is doyoungs case

- you would just want to take care of her and thats why he has this motherly nature towards her

- he always nags her about cleaning her room and taking care of herself

- whenever they are eating together he places more food on her plate regardless of what she says

- and he makes sure she eats it

- truly though, they are really close

- they have a closer relationship off screen then on screen

- there are a few photos out where they are hugging each other

- but she also stresses him out

- she clowns him a lot and gives him gray hairs

- she’s his second child

jaehyun

- SIBLING GOALS

- they arent the bickering type but more of the soft type

- freely he givers her all of his shirts and hoodies

- has hidden her wallet several times so she cant pay for things

- the softest hugs!!

- haru’s always seen poking his dimples

- jaehyun’s also part of the “how’s ruru” squad

- always has an eye on her

- one of the members that call her rue or ruru

- she sleeps with the teddy bear he gave her a year after their debut, it goes everywhere with her

- he is teaching her english with johnny and mark and they love hearing her talk

- even more when he hears her speech impediment

- his heart flutters so much!

- roommates for quite some time

jungwoo

- best friends

- she loves him and his energy so much

- whenever she notices her speech impediment and stops talking, hes right there to tell her to continue

- they are super close and always there for each other

- they do a lot of skinship

- haru thinks that he’s so soft and clings onto him whenever she can

- they take naps together during the day

- they have these small little “dates” where they go get ice cream from this small place during the darkest times of the night

- its only for them jungwoo says

- they make fun of each other

- a lottt

mark 

- they honestly act the same age

- mark and haru are very lowkey but have a timeless friendship

- he sometimes comes into her dorm and sings songs together

- at first though, they were awkward

- but now they just vibe and neither of them have to say a thing

- they really love each other but never say it

- he got so excited when he was able to take her to vancouver

- he lost her in a store though until he heard her name over the intercom

- she was so sad when he graduated from dream, she cried for days

- they have so much in common

haechan

- they play around and roast each other all the time but he never brings her speech implemented up

- he would hurt anyone who brings it up rudely

- also part of the “how’s ruru” squad

- they have a two sided friendship though

- they could be beating each other up or they could be cuddling 

- haechan is one of the main reasons why she is more outgoing

- haru is innocent and sweet but when she is paired up with haechan she’s another person

- he drags her out to meals and makes her pay for them

- but then later he stuffs a few bucks in her bag/wallet

- they deeply care and love each other but they will never say it to each other

- he always brings up her height lol

MASTERLIST 

#nct female oc #nct #nct female addition #nct female member #kpop #kpopoc #nct oc #nctharu

[radlegowaffle]

guess whos back on their taking inspiration from anime/manga bullshit

#dooblenauts #im actually going to put her in a different tag #persona #kinda #ANYWAY i started reading the promised neverland manga and its..... so good..... #im love ray #i love my boys with hair over their eye #ALSO the english dub for the anime came out two days ago?? and i watched it yesterday with my dad #hes into it #its not exactly AS good as the manga imo but its still pretty good #i think if i didnt read the manga id like the anime more but ejrhlagierug #AND THERES GONNA BE A SEASON TWO NEXT YEAR #I GET TO CRY OVER LUCAS AND YUUGO ALL OVER AGAIN #anyway #i wanna draw tpn fanart but right now im just...... dying #autodesk sketchbook is good but i cant make the eyes as glowy as i want them to be #but at least it lets me actually use it rather than fuck my sanity up like krita #i might try out csp #anyway im gonna try to draw more jrhlgiaeur

[mspainttaz]

what are some weirdly specific balance headcanons you have? please share

this gets long i hope thats okay….

im sure i have even more specific headcanons rattling about but im sick right now and cant remember them off the top of my head, but thank you anon this was really fun! im sure when i remember more ill do a part two if people are interested.

davenport was the first to rock the “bushy sideburns w. a slightly shorter beard” look and magnus, young and impressionable, saw how tight dav looked and said “yes please”. they are sideburns buddies

barry with a mullet is so funny and i love it. i also 100% believe that taako rocks a mullet with him sometimes. #mullet rights

voidfished!taako has problems with his hands. they always look wrong to him for some reason (something about not having two more hands that look just like his and that he can reach out and take hold of whenever he needs to feels… off.) maybe he wears a lot of gloves and rings just to, you know, make them feel like his own.

lucretia has trich, magnus has derma, dav have onycho. (ocd/bfrb related to picking at your hair/skin/nails.)

taako uses a cane and or wheelchair as needed after story and song

lucretia has arthritis and wears braces for it

i tend to draw davenport japanese

lucretia wore her hair in double buns during stolen century and a braid after the voidfishing but before the bureau

sometimes one of the birds will show up at each others schools and sit in on the class aka, ask questions that they know will get the other riled up or stumped or embarrassed. because thats what family is for.

the blue robes lucretia wore during the candlenights party were from the stolen century. specifically a planet that placed heavy significance on textiles and craftwork. theres beaded voidfish designs sewn into the back along with seven stars. she had to wear a cape to the party to cover it up.

she and maureen definitely had something going on. they would talk science often while davenport entertained younger lucas. lucas would go on and on about science and on good days davenport would somehow know just what to say to help him solve the problem lucas was puzzling over.

they all share clothes during s.c. and some were more hotly disputed than others. when tres horny boys come to the moon lucretia has to restrain herself when she sees where one of the favorite shirts ended up. she forgot where it was and had been looking for it in her closet for years pan damn it merle why did it always look better on you.

if merle concentrates really hard he can sprout a flower from his bellybutton

some ive talked about before, taako and davenport race sometimes (x) (x)and okay heres another davenport because hes been on my mind lately (x)

#i know i have more and i know that i left out a lot of characters #Anonymous #taz balance #taz #headcanons #taako #magnus burnsides #davenport #lucretia #merle highchurch #barry bluejeans #no lups thats sad #i know i have lup headcanons #m

[kaypeace21]

The Duffers use of music proves byler is endgame (music-analysis)

The Duffers in an interview said that they choose songs for the show very deliberately -sometimes spending weeks on Spotify to find just the right song to convey an emotion/context of a scene. Songs in all seasons (but especially in s3) were used to show how characters are feeling- or just an action they’re about to commit.

For instance, Karen when she’s about to meet Billy at the motel-  feels apprehensive and wants to get out of it (since it would hurt her family) and she was just flirting with Billy as a way to escape her own issues, about her life. She never flirted with Billy for the end-goal of “getting him.”

They even use “cat’s in the cradle’ which could be shown as a way to illustrate the inappropriate age disparity between Billy/Karen.

Other examples-

Right before the boys run away from the lingerie store- the lyrics are literally “I just walk away” XD

Jim when he looks at Joyce- the lyrics are “she’s got you.” ( cause he’s in love with her).

-And Jim after getting Mike to not come over to see El, (by yelling at him) sings…

Joyce after she sees Bob’s drawing fall to the ground and then crouches to pick it up.

And songs also illustrates how Nancy feels about her job (with her sexist co-workers). As the morose lyrics of “I’ll be working here forever” play as it zooms in on Hawkins post -as Nancy rushes inside.

As well as  her excitement -about investigating a new case. As Jancy leaves and the very on the nose song  of “get up and go” begins -as they get into the car.

Billy when he pulls out chloroform (from a perfume bottle).

El after dumping Mike (and smiling about it) XD

So all the byler stuff I’m about to mention proves byler is endgame.

So yes, the fact that the very first lyrics that play when we see mileven kiss for the first time  is “Just a little uncertainty can bring you down”- reflects that (just like the others, the song reflects Mike’s true feelings). The song is from the album “boy in the box (cough closet)”.

And we know this is how Mike (not El) feels about their relationship because he begins to sing the song right after this lyric. It mirrors how when Will danced with a girl (who owned a rainbow hair clip) the lyrics were “every smile you fake.”

Mike continues “And nobody wants to know you now. And nobody wants to show you how.So if you’re lost and on your own. You can never surrender.” He fears that if he isn’t straight everyone he cares about will abandon him, and that he’d be lost and the only one ‘like this’ -all alone.But he can’t ‘surrender’ the false-idea of being in love with El (out of fear).  El even says to “stop” and tries to cover his mouth to prevent him from singing and Mike asks “What you don’t like it?” and El just says “No!”.

Which may be a purposeful juxtaposition to how Robin came out- and instead both Robin and Steve sang off-tune happily together- while El covers Mike’s mouth and tells him to stop singing. When Mileven kiss at the end of the season the song ‘the first i love you’ plays. The same song that plays when Robin comes out to steve (to illustrate the juxtaposition).

What’s interesting is ( right before the mileven kiss) we see a zoom in shot of a picture of Will and a rainbow . Like that’s Will! He has light brown hair (not black) and Will is the only one associated with fire and has drawn himself with fire in the past.

And since El has Mike related-stuff all over her room, and barely knows Will. Mike probably lied saying it was supposed to be him- which is why it’s above her bed.And we also see that based on it’s placement Mike is facing the Will drawing so he can see it  (cause we see El in front of the poster and Mike sitting opposite of her during the 1st kiss) . 

And during this transition the lyrics read “cause just a little more time could open closing doors” Which could be hinting at byler becoming a thing later - when (after some ‘time’) they both become ready to actually admit their feelings/sexuality - despite the other probably doubting the other has feelings for them.

I mean we even see an illustration of Will & the text of the name ‘Mike’ written out next to a rainbow-heart. And 2 other drawings next to the rainbow heart drawing (that are covered in red hearts). XD

(*for those who can’t see Mike written out in the transitioned will/mike pic)

However, what’s interesting though is the one other things he took down from his wall. In S1 Mike (before he even met El)  has a heart sign, with a red heart being propelled by a rainbow. Then in s3 it's gone from his wall when he dates El (cause he's trying to repress the fact he's gay). Why El has a drawing that says Mike (with a heart also propelled by a rainbow.) He can't use El to escape the truth. His rainbow follows him everywhere even when he tries to hide it (from his basement wall and himself) -  and when kissing El!Aka he tries to take it down (like he pretends to be straight). However, in the first ep of s3 when Mike is making-out with El (trying to project his feelings for Will on to her by looking at the Will drawing while kissing) we see a emergence of the heart being propelled by a rainbow (in El’s room) as a drawing.  signifying Mike participating in compulsory-heterosexuality,  and the fact no matter how hard he tries- he’s not straight!

Also El’s reaction to the song - hints that this isn’t actually her mixtape. But one that Mike made for her. or Will made for Mike (since jon makes mixtapes and prob taught him how- Will in s3 gave a mixtape to Dustin so it would not surprise me if he gave one to Mike).

So similar to the drawing, the mixtape hints at byler’s feelings

  ‘I can’t fight this feeling’ (which mileven makes out to later). Actually indicates Mike fighting his feelings for Will. And how he’s been trying to fight his feelings for Will, all season.

Besides the lyrics themselves- the singer literally went on record about the song’s meaning . Which is about a boy being in love/pinning over his friend of many years and never thinking he had a chance at being with them (and being afraid he’d ruin the relationship if he confessed)- but slowly thinking he could  be with them (and that they might feel the same way about him) . And in the song the 2 people AREN’T even together yet!

“Oh, I can’t fight this feeling any longer. And yet I’m still afraid to let it flow. What started out this friendship has grown stronger, I only wish I had the strength to let it show. I tell myself that I can’t hold out forever .I said there is no reason for my fear ‘Cause I feel so secure when we’re together ‘.You give my life direction. You make everything so clear. And even as I wander I’m keeping you in sight. You’re a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter’s night. And I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might”

This makes no sense for mileven who kissed after knowing each other for a week and who didn’t have a long established friendship, beforehand. And who also are already together (and not afraid to express their ‘romantic feelings’ for each other).

Then in s2, mileven dance to ‘every breath you take’ a break up song about a stalker ex. The writer of the song also has said many times “it’s NOT a love song.” The duffers obviously knew that. Lumax also danced to it and Lucas was called a ‘stalker’. El also stalked Mike in s2 (all that stuff milevens found romantic- El watching him without him knowing. Mike says he was not ok with it in s3). And in s3 he said not to do that and she just says ‘i make my own rules’. Not to mention Nancy teaching Dustin how to dance is a direct parallel to Mike teaching El. 

Mike also tries to act like Dustin, and  forces Will to dance with a girl (who’s wearing a rainbow hair clip). Trying to be a good sport like Dustin is about lumax. And right after this we see Dustin look sad about Max/Lucas dancing and Mike (next to Dustin) look sadly at Will/girl dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these 2 shots to emphasize their sadness/jealousy.Then they both sit down (mirroring each other) on the verge of tears before Nancy and El show up to comfort them and distract them.  As El once again (presumably) wears Nancy dress. Mike “you cant go with your sister… i mean you can but it’d be really weird.”

Also in regards to Will- when I heard they were going to have the song ‘Never ending story’ I wondered if they were going to re-contextualize one line in particular to be a hint at Will’s queerness. And shock- they did it! XD

The lyric is “ Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds and there upon a rainbow Is the answer to a never ending story. ”

And of course Will is the one with a secret- that is ‘rainbow’ related. And they pan to him during the “secrets” line. I think Will is less in the denial phase than Mike is and already knows he’s gay and in love with him.

And this wasn’t a coincidence because when Lumax makes fun of Dustin they sing the lyrics incorrectly as  “The mirror of your dreams. Rhymes that keep their secrets…” And it pans to Will AGAIN!

We see Will obscured in shadows to represent he’s “hiding”.

And then he appears in the light, looking sadly at D&D as the lyrics , “rhymes that keep their secrets” is sang (again).

And we see he’s specifically looking at the d&d game sadly and about to give it away- since they zoom in on the game title (before he places it in the “donation” box). 

Because the d&d game is used to reflect his desires (like a “mirror”) . It’s the ‘mirror of his dreams’- to be with Mike. Cue Mike saying “ what did you think,really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?” And poor Will  just responding with “Yeah, I guess I did. I really did.”

This lyric about the mirror is NOT in the original song. It was used once again to establish D&D as a romantic symbol for byler. Just like how they zoomed in on d&d right before the romantic “crazy together” speech.

Mike in s3 says “Blank makes you crazy… y’know like the word (love).” Flo in s1 says “ Only love makes you that crazy and that stupid.” Cue Will calling himself “stupid” 4 times (after Mike says they won’t be together playing games for the rest of their lives-and ripping up the Halloween pic , out of heart-break).

(x)

So again right after we see the zoom-in of the game (another romantically coded scene happens after). Will puts the game in the ‘donation’ pile - and Mike isn’t happy about it.

Mike: “WHOA, dude, that’s the donation box.”

Will: “ I know, I’ll just use yours,  when I come back. (pause) if WE still want to play?”

( translation: “I love and want to be with you but I’m not going to pursue you and get my heart broken again. Because even if I feel like you love me… I can’t trust my own instincts about how you truly feel anymore. If you want to play this ‘game of love’  with me you have to initiate/participate in the game properly.” Mike when fixated on El even says it was a cool campaign but  “we just weren’t in the mood right now.” and  also says to Will “c’mon, let’s play for real”  but Will storms off (not thinking that what Mike said was genuine).  

Mike : “Yeah, but what if you want to join another party?”

(*cough, the other ‘species’/girls, or just someone else: girl, guy or otherwise)

Will: “Not possible.”

(Will will always love Mike, and  admits he wants to be with him for the rest of his life).

(x)

And we actually see the Hopper’s Monologue (where Mike is shown)- reflects what Mike said to Will earlier. Mike does want to love Will but he’s just scared of changing their relationship into something romantic- and even though a part of him doesn’t want things to change, he’s still afraid that Will will move on from him as they both get older. “I’ve been feeling distant from you. Like you’re pulling away from me or something” (Will does this both figuratively/literally). I miss playing board games every night (d &d)”. “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. And I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”

Also the lyric “ Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds and there upon a rainbow- is the answer to a never ending story. ”

One way or another Will’s secret (of being queer and/or being in love with Mike) will eventually come out. And that’s the answer to this “never ending story” between Will & Mike. Their love story. I mean who else is associated with Will’s story and has loads of rainbow symbolism - and has rainbow symbolism that  specifically connects them to Will?

*Lol don’t even get me started  on analyzing how in s1 when Mike thinks Will is dead- Mike hugs his mom and the lyrics are “and we kiss as though nothing could fall. And the shame.” Which is queer coded and written by David Bowie- and during the s2 “freak” speech- Will even says he’d rather be friends with Bowie than Kenny Roggers.

People need to realize no one is a bigger shipper of byler- than the Duffer brothers themselves! XD

#byler #byeler

[kweebtrash]

Eres Mia (M)

Messy Chapter 8

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut, a smidge of fluff/awkwardness

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: mentions of drugs/alcohol, talks about suicide, the teeeeniest bit of violence, possibility of emotional manipulation, jealousy/possessiveness

Features: unprotected sex, creampies, rough fingering/finger sucking, oral/throat fucking, a little hint of bondage, rough hair grabbing, squirting, overstretching/gaping, daddy/princess dynamics, choking, relentless/brutal/deep thrusting, a bit of overstimulation/multiple orgasms, also being covered in cum

Word Count: 21,103K

A/N: So explanation about this chapter: It has some cultural references that maybe not everyone will get but I can explain them if anyone wants to send me a question about it. If you haven’t figured it out (or even just made a generalization) Eri is afro-carribean (the exact island is left vague on purpose, but it would be in the latinx part of the cluster). There’s also spanish in the chapter and tbh use google translate and if you still have problems again just message me.

Messy Masterlist   Buy me a Ko-Fi    Other Stories

The Boys Group Chat

Taeyong: 5

Lucas: what???

Ten: 5 what?

Taeyong: my score with Eri is at 5.

Lucas: HOLY FUCK

Taeil: OHHH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.

Ten: how?? When??? What???!

Taeyong: last night. Shower. Against the wall. In the bed twice. And our usual against the door.

Lucas: how tf did u manage that??

Lucas: i thought you hated her

Taeyong: i never hated her. It was just the drama and shit

Taeyong: like at the party i just didn’t want a fight to break out. i didn’t want the cops called or anything

Taeyong: so like i kicked her out but it was just because i knew she would have thrown the first punch

Lucas: well you aren’t really wrong

Lucas: i don’t blame you for not wanting the cops to show up

Taeyong: i had under 21 friends there. I didn’t want them to get in trouble

Ten: how did you even manage to get her to fuck you???

Taeyong: she called me actually. She was drunk af but sobered up before she got here

Ten: i cannot believe

Ten: i haven’t even been able to get with her AT ALL lately

Johnny: wtf is going on

Taeil: oooooooffff this is….

Ten: the tea brews itself

Johnny: Taeyong what did you say

Taeyong: i fucked your girl. She came to me instead of coming to you

Yuta: dude this is…

Johnny: don’t go near her again

Johnny: i mean it

Taeyong: dude i’m not scared of you

Taeyong: yall arent even official

Johnny: i don’t care

Johnny: dont touch her

Yuta: johnny quit it

Yuta: you can’t hog her to yourself

Yuta: just like jae can’t hog quinn

Ten: just admit ur jealous and move on.

Johnny: im not jealous

Johnny: you just dont deserve her after the stunt you pulled at the party

Taeyong: clearly i do because shes been thinking about fucking me for a long time

Taeyong: maybe even while shes been fucking you.

(Johnny has left the chat)

Ten: fuck

Yuta: this is getting fucking ridiculous

Yuta: i mean she texted me like when she was with him i think

Yuta: like she didnt care that she was with him and was being cute with me

Lucas: she flirts with everyone

Lucas: do you think she does actually wanna be with him?

Taeyong: who cares

Taeyong: fact of the matter is shes up for grabs

Taeyong: and if I wanna go after her i will

Yuta: WHOA WHOA

Yuta: you mean try and date her?

Ten: taeyong thats not a good idea

Taeyong: i never said id date her

Taeyong: but if shit happens, shit happens

Taeyong: thats all im saying

–

It was strange waking up in bed next to Taeyong. We had never done that before especially since the last time we were together we had to leave the office quickly. He looked strangely innocent when he slept, his shaggy hair ruffled and sticking up in random places and lips slightly pouted. I watched his chest rise and fall with each soft breath for a moment while I tried to keep my head from spinning. This…might have been a bad idea. I was in my feelings for Johnny and I knew that I only hooked up with Taeyong as a sort of rebound/revenge plot. I didn’t want to tell him that but I was sure we were still platonic enough that it didn’t matter. Taeyong wouldn’t make things weird or messy. This would just be a one time thing…or a five time thing. We may have gotten a bit carried away. He was tentative in the shower, making sure that I was still sober enough to be okay. He washed me, helped me wash my hair, and let the heated water run over me to warm me up. And when he slid down to wash my legs his lips met between my thighs and I couldn’t help but give in to his tongue.

He was no Taeil but he knew enough to make me try and steady myself against the slippery tile and grip onto his hair tightly. It was relaxing to finally get off by being eaten out, to just sit back and let him do all the work. It was definitely something I missed. After the shower, we dried off and he put me into some of his pjs (which were tight as all hell on me) and we relaxed in his bed. I got some more water in me and slowly weaned off the rest of the alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of trying to sleep we got lost in each other’s lips which somehow lead to him keeping me against his bedroom wall and fucking me as deep as he could go. Mid morning came and we didn’t want to get up. So of course the next option was to 69 then fuck me into the mattress. Just when I thought I would finally be able to leave he wouldn’t stop kissing me as I got to his bedroom door and we had a proper deja vu moment of last semester.

By the time I actually got home it was late at night and I was sore as all hell. I left him covered in hickies, scratches, and bite marks- my typical calling card- and he left me wanting to sleep for days. I collapsed on my bed unmoving for hours on end and barely making it to class the next day. Johnny was there of course and I tried my best to avoid him like the plague. That was always the hardest part. When we were on our highs, being next to each other radiated chemistry and we would rather pass the time sexting than paying attention. When we were on our lows, everything was ice cold and I detested even being within his vicinity. He still wouldn’t open up to me or even let me tell him that it was okay to cry. He didn’t need to worry about that with me. Of course he wouldn’t listen and we were stuck in a frozen tundra that didn’t let us move one way or the other. I tried my best to instead focus on studying for once. My grades were alright but they could definitely be better and I didn’t want to have to waste more money repeating classes. I spent my nights hitting the books and hoping I could retain enough information to pass. I was holed up in my room as usual when I heard knocking on the front door and i wondered if maybe Quinn forgot their keys. It seemed a little early for them to come home from being with Jae. I set my textbook down onto my desk and padded towards the living room. When I opened the door I hated what I saw.

His eyes were bright red and he reeked of menthol and weed. He leaned against the door frame, a big grin on his face that happiness didn’t seem to be the cause of. “What are you doing here?” I whispered in disbelief.

“What am i doing here?” He licked his lips and chuckled. “What are you doing fucking Taeyong?”

My eyes went wide. “Did he…did he tell you?”

“He told everyone in our chat. 5 times, huh? That a record or something?”

I backed away from him hating how he was acting and being hurt that what I did was blasted over some group chat. I couldn’t believe Taeyong would do something like that. I had stated plenty of times who i had hooked up with but it was on my terms, with my permission, not like gossiping around a watering hole. “You need to leave.” I swallowed hard and didn’t look at him. My voice was too unsteady for that.

I heard the door snap shut and looked up to find him looming over me. “Not a chance. Not until I make you forget all about that stupid bastard.”

He grabbed onto my sweater and pulled me towards him, easily overpowering me to crash his lips against mine. I clawed at his coat, digging into the soft fabric as I tried forcing myself away. I slammed the side of my fist into his chest and pushed him back. “NO! You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to come back into my life whenever you decide to! I’m not something to have at your convenience and I sure as hell don’t need you to keep leading me on.”

“Leading you on? Where am I leading you too?” His hands still had a hold of my neck and shoulders which I could not shake.

I could feel the tears already trying to come forth but i grounded myself, dug deep within me to stop them. “Leading me to you. I always get led back to you.”

“You don’t want to get led back to me.” He laughed. “I’m fuckin’ useless!”

I grabbed at his hands, wanting them off me. “Stop that! I’m not your fucking therapy and my purpose is not to fix you.”

“I don’t want to be fixed! I want to be fucked!”

“And that’s another layer to your goddamn problem, Johnny! Life isn’t all about diving into sex to make yourself forget! You need to reevaluate what’s going on in your life before you put your hands on someone else’s.”

“I don’t want you to have Taeyong on you.” He kissed me, gentler this time. “Or Lucas.” Another kiss. “Or Taeil.” A small lick. “Or Yuta.” He sucked on my bottom lip for a second before kissing me again. “Or anyone else.”

“You cant have me all to yourself. That isn’t how this works. You don’t want me, you only want what you see on the surface. You don’t give a shit about what’s beneath and you definitely don’t want to see it.”

He released me from his grasp and scoffed. “The surface? I’ve let you dig inside my brain more than anyone else in my life. You’re stuck inside there now, you can’t move. You know how sick i’ve felt, how weak i am, how less of a man i am-”

“Save that bullshit, Johnny! It’s not true! I told you it was okay to cry! It doesn’t mean you’re less of a man! It just means you’re a normal human being. Men can cry. Men can show emotion and they should. I just wanted to help…to be there for you.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve always had to be the man. There wasn’t any room for me to cry!” He screamed. “You want to talk about not wanting what’s beneath the surface? You’re already there, Eri. You’ve seen everything I could possibly hate to show anyone.”

“And yet you’re coming to me just so you can be buried inside something for an hour or two. That’s what it’s actually like to feel useless and discarded. I know you don’t fucking care and you never will.”

“This is starting to get messy…it’s a clusterfuck and it keeps growing.”

“You just keep fueling the fire.” I said. “I’m not going back. I can’t. My heart can’t take it. I hate seeing you like this. I hate hearing you like this and I want to help. I really do. But i can only take so much before you start swallowing me whole.”

He grabbed me again, pressing me against the door and trapping me between it and his body. “This is how you help.” His breath was heavy against my neck, tickling the sensitive skin there. I shuddered and failed to squirm away from him. “I know you’re not going to fix me. I can do that on my own, eventually, but right here, right now this is what I want.”

“Well i don’t.” The tears fell and i slammed my fist back against the door, pissed entirely that it was happening again. I shouldn’t be crying over him anymore. “I don’t want to be what you push inside of. You don’t want to know what’s really going on with me. You’d run away from me as much as I want to run from you.”

“You think i’d be scared of what you’ve done? What you’ve been through? Its nothing, Eri.” He grabbed my chin and and jerked my head to the side so he could growl in my ear. “I want you. Raw. Dirty.”

“You want me black out drunk? You want me with a broken hand through drywall? You want me bleeding out in a tub with a knife in my hand? You want me laying on the floor unable to breathe and falling in and out of consciousness? You want me running away from the one good thing i’ve ever had in my life?” My voice trembled again. “You want me hiding who i really am from my family? You want me watching myself be the cause of people’s hurt? Because that’s what’s really raw and dirty. Or do you just want to fuck as always?”

He hoisted me onto his waist suddenly, crushing me now to the point where i could barely breathe. I wrapped my legs around his as he shoved his forehead against mine. “Give me it. Give me all of it, Eri.”

I tried not to kiss him, i really did, but my heart shoved me towards it. My tongue slid out to creep into his mouth which he warmly accepted. It was angry, heated, rushed, and broken- like the entirety of our relationship. I was clutching onto him desperately as if I was trying to shock my system back into loathing him. It didn’t matter if I made drunken mistakes or if he made drugged out ones, every time, we somehow found a way back to each other as if we were tied with a string of fate. “Why?” I whispered when I finally caught my breath. “Why don’t you talk to me? For weeks at a time…it hurts…”

“Because i hate the way I feel about you.” He panted.

I licked my lips and hovered them over his. “How do you feel about me?”

He shook his head. “I…don’t worry about it. I’m faded as fuck right now. It won’t matter what I say.”

“Clearly it fucking does.”

“It’s only gonna get more fucked up between us.”

“It already is fucked up! Were fucked up! This whole shit is fucked up! We were supposed to hook up at the summer party and that’s it!!”

“Yeah and here you are fucking Taeyong and Yuta and whoever else you’d let inside you.”

I slapped him. The first time i’d ever wanted to hit him at all. I would’ve never laid a hand on him especially after all he had been through- i never wanted to be that person. Ever. But he crossed a fucking line and that small dangerous part of my brain was a ticking time bomb. He dropped me then and I fell right on my ass. I scrambled to get up as he stood there motionless.

“Dont…dont ever do that.” He whispered harshly.

“I didn’t want to! But don’t you ever come for who I sleep with! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to be a hypocrite because you’re fucking jealous! What are you even jealous for? I’m not your girlfriend!”

“AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!”

I felt a stab of pain through my chest that hurt worse than anything I had ever felt before. Was this…was this what Jungwoo felt? Had karma finally come to get me and pay me back for what I did to him all those years ago? It felt like I couldn’t breathe but I could definitely feel the tears flowing down my cheeks like a river. His eyes went wide and he took a step towards me. I took one back before sprinting to my room. I slammed the door shut, pressing myself against it and sliding to the floor.

He pounded his fists against it, begging me to open it. I was afraid he was going to break through the wood with how hard he was rattling the door. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my thighs, staining my pajamas pants with tears.

“I-im sorry, ok?”

No you’re not.

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this.”

Well it is now, so fuck you.

“I don’t know what I really want, Eri.”

I guess…i don’t really know either. Should you even be my boyfriend at this point? What would I do once I had you? Would my fear of love go away? Or would you make it worse?

“I like when we spend time together. You’re cool as fuck but we…we cant be like that. You know that right? I don’t get with people and stay with them. We can only fuck…”

I hate you. Go away. Leave me alone.

“I guess i’m broken or whatever you want to call it but i’m not a charity case. I don’t want you to pity me or feel like you have to take care of me. Like you said, it’s not your job. But for right now…this is how I handle stuff, just like how you handle stuff your way, you know?”

By being a drunk partied out mess, i know. Hungry for attention, starving for someone to care for them, and completely barren of love but wanting to fill that void somehow.

“I’m not fine. I haven’t been fine for a long time. My anxiety never used to be this bad. I never even used to have night terrors or panic attacks. It just got worse after…after the first time i got…you know, what I told you about before. Then college happened and it was so much pressure and I wanted to make my mom proud and happy and take care of her because my dad never did. You know even when i felt so fucking empty around Rixi, i didn’t sleep for 2 whole days because I was studying my ass off for midterms just to keep my straight A’s?” He let out a soft chuckle. “I have a 4.0, hookup with dozens of girls, work three jobs, go to the gym, and try and do my art. When i say that i run on energy drinks and coffee i’m not kidding.”

That’s adding to your anxiety, stupid. And so is the weed. And your inability to FUCKING communicate. Why do you have to be such a stupid dumb….MAN all the time?!

“I know that doesn’t matter to you-”

It does because I know you’re hardworking and care about what you do. You’re a passionate soul and i love that about you. You’re so dedicated.

“But i dont know…i guess I wanted to tell you anyway. I’m not making excuses. I know what I do is my own damn fault but i just wanted you to know.”

I shifted slightly and reached up for the door handle, scooting away to pull it open slightly. I peeked my head through the gap and he looked at me, eyes a bit puffy as if he had been crying too. He wiped his nose and made it seem like he was put together in his typical Johnny fashion. I still didn’t say anything but he crept his hand closer to me and extended his pinky. I looked at it for a few seconds before locking mine around it. He was quiet for a bit, the tension remaining thick and heavy. The quietness was only interrupted by a few sniffles from the both of us. I wiped away at my tears, wanting to remind myself that this was proof. This was what always happened. Either i ended up drunk or ended up crying when it came to him. Or both for that matter.

I truly felt like i should continue to make myself suffer with him. One look of those soft brown eyes and honey-sweet lips would draw me in and his soothing voice would whisper caring thoughts and expressions. I saw the blushes he had when he talked to me, the way he seemed embarrassed or nervous, but there were always underlying signs that proved he didn’t like me. Most blatantly when he said-no, yelled- that i would never be his girlfriend. Logic told me to run. When had i ever put a man before me or anyone for that matter? Masochism told me that I enjoyed the pain of being rejected over and over again and that it was a game. Lust told me that i loved when he got jealous and growled in my ear. I wanted him to tell me that I was his as he fucked me so deep and hard that I couldn’t move. Greed told me that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted all the attention, all the love, all of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And rationality? That bitch was nowhere to be found.

“What saved you…when you tried to um…kill yourself?”

My head snapped up at the question. It hadn’t been posed to me since I met Quinn three years ago. It was something that I blocked from my brain and never reopened. But this was a test, to see if he could really handle what was fucking wrong with me. I squeezed his pinky tighter and finally croaked. “Daniella. She’s uh…she’s my little sister. I traumatized a 10 year old by bleeding out in a bathtub and she called the police and my mom. She tried to stop the bleeding. She cried but she kept pushing through. She was….so mature in that moment. More than I had ever been. She wanted to be there when they admitted me. My mom didn’t believe what was going on- more so in a sense that she didn’t want to believe that her kid was sick. Just like she didn’t want to believe I was gay at first. Eventually, she saw past it. She saw how much I needed her and how much we didn’t want to lose each other. But yeah…that was…it was Dani.”

“You know, her Quinceanera is in a week and I can’t believe she’s already 15. It’s weird how time flies…how I can’t exactly remember it all.” I continued.

“Are you going? To the party i mean.” He asked.

I nodded. “I have to. I’m like in the…so it’s basically almost like a bridal party. It’s real weird. But they pair us up and we walk down an aisle and Dani will come out with her big poofy dress and everyone will look at her and sing ’Las Mañanitas’ blah blah blah. It’s a precursor wedding and weird tradition I hated. So i never had one. And now, mom gets to put all her spite of her not having one and me not having one into an over the top expensive party for Dani, but you know…don’t help me with my student loans or anything.”

“Oh…sounds like a…journey.” I let out a small laugh and he crept closer towards the gap. I opened the door a little bit more. “It was my mom for me.”

“What?” I whispered.

“I was ready to jump off my school building after I got with her. I would see her everywhere on my social media and around town. I had to hide everything about how she made me feel and I felt like I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I sat on the ledge for a long time, thinking about it and staring at the ground. Just as I decided I was going to jump, I got a text from my mom. It said ‘hi honey, hope you have a great day at school! I love you a lot.’” He rubbed at his eyes and looked away from me. “I still have it saved on my phone- transferred over each time I got a different one. I look at it sometimes when i feel like utter shit. Then I call her.” He sighed deeply and I pulled him closer to me, the door falling open wider. “Have I ever told you thank you?”

“W-what?” I asked, stunned.

“Thank you. For being there for me. When shit hit the fan basically. You and Jae pretty much helped me through a lot. Is that like…a part of working through this? Admitting when you’ve been helped?”

I nodded. “It’s a start…”

He got even closer and kissed me, our pinkies tightening and lips slow and steady. My will was wavering and I was kicking myself again. It never failed. I pulled away and turned my head away from his. He sighed and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t make up for a lot of things, Johnny.”

“I know, princess. I know.”

“No, you don’t get to say that word to me anymore. That part is done. It’s only for people who know how to communicate.”

“Ok…” he said simply.

I let go of his hand and moved away from the door. He came through fully, sitting beside me now and set his arm around my waist. He kissed my temple then rested his chin on my shoulder. We stood quiet for a moment, trying to process everything. Nothing had gotten better at all. Everything was more confusing and more painful. I didn’t feel good and I didn’t want him here but at the same time I did. I looked over at his sad eyes, knowing he was truly sorry but still cementing the fact that I would never be his. Hurting was all I was good for and I accepted the karmic punishment.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and his eyes drew themselves to me. I laid nothing but whispers against his lips drawing him in to press himself against me and steal my breath away in a kiss. Gradually, our clothes began disappearing until we were naked in my bed, hands between each others thighs, stroking and thrusting until we were dirty with each other’s release. He didn’t let me go instead opting to grab my hips and keep me flush against me. “I want me on you. Not any of those assholes.”

“I’m not yours…”

“Tonight you are.” He dug his blunt nails into my hips and sunk his teeth into the base of my neck. It hurt with how hard he was biting down but I knew what he was doing; marking me so that whoever i was with next could see the deep bruise he was trying to leave behind. I clawed at his shoulders, whimpering pathetically and about to beg him to stop but he pulled away, pressing softer kisses to the deep marks instead. I shoved his head away seeing the playful smirk he had on his face.

“Ass…”

“You want a bite mark on your ass too?” he asked coyly.

I rolled my eyes and commanded him to get a towel to clean up the mess he made on my stomach. He gave me another kiss before scooting off the bed and heading towards my door. For a moment I thought I imagined it and had to blink twice but i saw him licking his fingers- the same ones that were inside me just a minute ago. He had never done that. Usually he’d wipe them on my sheets or something. I laid back and closed my eyes, tossing away any ideas of what that meant. I felt him on the bed again, gently wiping away his cum off my skin before laying himself between my thighs, his head on my chest. That also surprised me and i wished I knew what the fuck was going on in his head. Was it from all the weed? I didn’t really know how much he smoked before he got here. It could’ve been what helped set off his emotions and express his jealousy about Taeyong.

I wanted to pry at his stupid decisions and actions some more but I was slowly running out of energy to deal with arguing, anxiety, and my mood swings in such a short amount of time. I decided to lay in my self hatred with Johnny on top of me, our breaths flowing together into an easier rhythm. I closed my eyes and set my hand on his head. “Pet my hair.” He grumbled.

“You think that a half fuck is going to solve this?” I said, ignoring his request.

“No. We’re doing what we do best, hurting each other.”

“But why does it have to be like this?”

“Because it’s just who we are, Eri. It’s what we do. It’s how we function together. You want to call it off?”

“Call what off?”

“Being fuck buddies.” Yes was what I should have said. Instead, I shook my head and kept my eyes away from him. “Good…Because I don’t want to stop fucking you.”

“I don’t either…” I said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair now, pushing it back and feeling his sides that were grown out. "Remember when you asked me to feel alive?”

He nodded.

“Do that for me. Maybe me feel like I don’t fucking hate you for what you’ve done. Like i don’t want you more than I need to.”

He stilled against me and didn’t say anything. I could feel him looking at me and when I finally had the courage to meet his eyes I saw that he seemed to be hurt by my confession. Eventually, he mumbled a response. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

"Mostly i hate myself.” I hate myself for loving you.

“Dont, baby…” He turned my face towards his to continue our kiss. “You don’t need to hate yourself.”

“Just shut up, Johnny. Fuck me already.”

“Fine.” He growled and gave quick bites over my breast making me arch against him. I hissed slowly, gripping onto his shoulders and digging my nails into his skin. He morphed his bites into kisses, working to gather my nipple in his mouth to suck slowly but hungrily. Eventually, his kisses got even lower as he discarded my breasts in favor of moving down to the softness of my stomach. A little nibble beneath my rib cage jerked my body towards his mouth, edging my hips into eager swivels. I parted my lips to let out a sweet sigh and a small plead for him to keep going. His tongue dipped into my belly button, making me squirm against the wet heat. I inched my hands back to his hair to return him to my lips and stop his teasing but he had other plans. His hands suddenly came crashing down on my wrists, pinning them to the bed and practically crushing them. I winced at the pain and asked him to ease up but he only snapped at me.

“Shut up and don’t touch me, got it?”

“W-what are you doing?” I asked, nervously.

“Shut. Up.”

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, swallowing hard and full of worry more than sensuality. I tried taking deep breaths but I felt like I was getting more nervous. Johnny was quiet as ever but I could feel his breath tickling against my sensitivity. I licked the dryness from my lips and just as I was about to try and pull away from his hands I felt it. It was small and gentle, just the tip of his tongue working over my clit. My entire body tensed and I remained frozen in place. I feared scaring him, or worse, triggering him. We retreated into minutes of silence that made my heart race with worry. “J-Johnny? A-are you-?”

There were butterfly kisses to my clit before his tongue reached out once again. It covered the entirety of my lower lips, pressing a slick heat over me and gathering the cum left behind from his fingering to trail it back to my clit. He trapped the bit of nerves between his lips, suckling lightly. I knew he was being cautious due to nervousness and unease but it was also amazingly tender and sweet. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and let out a moan hoping that he would take it as praise and a sign to continue. There was another long pause and my fingers curled in anticipation for more but there was nothing. I opened my eyes and looked down at him.

He was stationary, his eyes glancing over my center and lips trembling. The grip on my wrists got tighter, too tight for even my own liking. “Johnny…you need to let me go.” I said softly.

“No. I-i cant…”

“You can stop now, it’s ok but you’re hurting me. Come up here. Come kiss me, baby.” He looked defeated but saw the pain in my face and finally let my wrists go. I didn’t immediately shake out the numbing feeling and instead waited for him to crawl back up my torso. I held onto him as tight as I could, covering his lips, cheeks, neck in excited pecks. He did it. With me. It wasn’t complete or full or satisfying by any means but it meant so much. “You did so good, baby boy. So, so good.” I cooed.

He hid in my neck and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head quickly. “Don’t be. It was good. A great start, ok?”

“I wanted to try…a little at least so you don’t feel like i did when we fucked in the bathroom at the party. You shouldn’t want to feel alive with me because you’re numb. I don’t want that at all.”

“I just wanna feel good is all…” I held onto him tighter. “I don’t want to feel like i’m going to be thrown away.”

“I-i wont…” He swiftly slipped out of the bed and returned with a condom on. He whispered as he pulled my legs around him, pressing himself at my entrance. “I wont…”

“But you can’t promise that.” I swallowed hard and felt him sink into me inch by inch. The rest of my thoughts were voided by the methodical pace of him stretching me open. He ignored what I had said and instead focused on kissing everywhere he could reach as he thrusted slowly. My hands traced the length of his spine, resting in the center of his back and keeping him close. Inside my head I pleaded for him to not go slow, to not be intimate and stir up more dreadful feelings inside the pit of my stomach. Please just fuck me so I can be reminded of how shitty you are. Don’t remind me of how cute and caring you can be. I’m begging you Johnny.

I knew he couldn’t hear me so of course he didn’t stop rolling his hips to have his cock hit every space within me. He was panting softly, gentle moans mixing in every once in awhile. They sounded so precious and I couldn’t help but bury myself in his lips again. His hand pulled mine away from his back just so our fingers could intertwine. Nonono, stop that. For the love of god don’t do this to me.

He squeezed my hand tight and I felt my tears resurface. This is what scared me the most. Not him leaving or him ignoring me or throwing me away. This Johnny, the human, sentimental, emotional man that could have me fall into his arms (and bed) at the snap of his fingers. I was helpless against him and I just craved more and more torture. He kissed away my tears and nudged our foreheads together. “Hey…it’s okay.” He breathed.

It is not okay. It will never be ok. But he took care of me, stilling every so often to regain his composure as i could feel him throbbing and ready for another release. Worst of all was that I wanted him too. I wanted him to feel good, another hurtful self sacrifice because I cared so much about him. I gave him a soft plea to cum for me, which he took instantly. His free hand slipped between us, his thumb pressing small acts of pleasure into my clit as his other hand never left mine. He only squeezed my fingers tighter while my walls squeezed him the same way. Just at the very end his hips made quicker snaps, hitting the back of my thighs and making my back arch from the mattress. And in one fell breath i felt my stomach heat up and the most comforting sensation flowing within me.

My cheeks flushed as I had never felt anything like it before and wondered what the hell did he do differently. Maybe it was because i was so damn love drunk that it made everything seem better when i was with him. It wasn’t until he jerked out of me so harshly that I snapped my thighs shut. “O-ow! Johnny, what the-”

“The condom broke.” He trembled.

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe what I had heard.

“Eri. The fucking condom broke.”

I looked down and could see his cum flowing out of me and staining the bed sheets, while the rubber had a slight tear across the tip. Our eyes met and panic slammed into me at full speed. “O-oh my fucking god. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.”

“You’re on birth control right?” His voice was an octave or two higher.

“Well no shit! But it doesn’t magically mean it’s 100% full proof! People still get pregnant while on birth control.”

“I’M FULLY AWARE OF THAT ERI.”

“DON’T YELL AT ME.”

“I’M SORRY I JUST…” I noticed him staring at me which made me more uncomfortable.

“What? What else is wrong?” He shrugged but continued to stare. “Johnny. What is it?!”

“Nothing! It’s just…i mean-”

“Oh, you asshole!!” I flung my pillow straight at his face. “I’m literally fucking panicking and you think cumming inside me is hot!!”

“I’M SORRY!!! I’ve never done it before and it just…looks good, ok?!”

“You are the absolute worse and I CANNOT stand you!” I covered my face that was getting heated up by the second. How could he think about that while I was panicking? How could I think it felt good and perfect when i absolutely loathed cum (and was panicking)? We truly were fucking stupid.

“Hey, we’ll be ok. I know we will.” He said softly, reaching for my hand which i pulled away.

“Easy for you to say. You have the easy way out in case that happens.” I grumbled.

He kissed my forehead and laid beside me. “No I don’t, because I wouldn’t leave.”

I turned away from him, shoving my face into the mattress as I felt his cum sticky between my thighs. “Yeah right…”

“I’m serious….i’m not gonna be like my dad.”

“Alright well, we’re gonna stop talking about this. I’m gonna shower and you can go home so I can die in peace.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re not gonna die. It’s just cum.”

“I’m gay! All I am is dramatic!” I huffed as I felt all flustered now and wanted to get away from him. I stood up and cringed at the feeling of it sliding down my leg now. I awkwardly shuffled to pick up my already cum covered towel just to keep me decent enough to get to the bathroom.

“Can you stop saying that? Because i’m like…not a girl.”

I looked back at him. “Well no fucking shit, Johnny. It’s just a blanket term because you wouldn’t understand everything I identify as. Just roll with it. I don’t have time to explain.”

I grabbed my phone and went to the bathroom, locking the door tight. I tossed off my towel and turned on the water, sitting in the tub under the spray so i could suffer in silence. Eventually i ended up plugging the drain so i could sit in hot water for a bit and try and calm my nerves. I tried calling Quinn but didn’t get an answer, even texted them and still got nothing. They were still probably up Jaehyun’s ass or Taeil or someone else. I don’t know. I dialed again and waited patiently.

“Hello?”

“Doyoung, I need you please.”

“Be right there.”

He hung up as that was all he needed to know that something was wrong. I washed up, making sure to get as much of the cum out of me as possible, then rinsed and dried off. As i opened the bathroom door, Johnny was standing in the doorway, hand raised as he was going to knock. I glared at the lit blunt between his lips.

“’M leavin’.”

“Good. Bye. I have someone else coming over.”

He scoffed. “Wow. Okay. Fuck you too.” He turned away from me and headed towards my front door slamming it harshly behind him.

He made me so fucking irritated with his hot and cold bullshit. I trudged to my room and tossed my towel in the hamper, picking up my discarded pajamas and putting them back on. Around 15 or so minutes later Doyoung was in my room with an absolute cringey look on his face. “Look, i’m sorry but i needed someone to tell. You and Quinn are my closest friends and they’re not here. Please Doyoung…i know it’s gross.”

“You liked it…” he whispered.

“Please don’t remind me. I hate myself completely.”

“Why do you keep doing this, Eri? You are literally worth more than that.”

“I don’t know! I wish I knew. I wish I could just leave him but I can’t. Every time I’m mad, he shows me that side of him that I absolutely love.”

“That’s emotional manipulation.”

“It is not!” I protested. “Well…uh…maybe it is? But I don’t think he would be doing it intentionally? Why would he? He can get with anyone. He has gotten with a lot of people. I don’t think I would be any different. After all he blatantly said i’d never be his girlfriend.”

“And how did you feel about that?”

“I cried. Instantly. It hurt so fucking bad.”

“So we’ve come to the conclusion that a) he’s a fuckboy, b) he doesn’t want to be with you, c) he’s emotionally manipulative, and d) he couldn’t care less about what transpired tonight.” Doyoung gave me a shady look which made me shrink away like a scolded puppy.

“Well technically he said he would be there for me and then I kicked him out so…”

“And now you’re sticking up for him?”

“I’m not! I’m just stating facts. Doyoung, i know you’re totally and completely right. But i just…it feels weird. It feels different somehow.”

“I’m kind of sick of giving you advice and you ignoring it. It makes it seem like you don’t even care what I say.”

“No i do!” I grabbed onto his arm, sadly. “I do! i swear! I’m just a fucking idiot. I like to fuck up everything and keep myself down.”

“Why can’t you see that there are better people for you? Even ones that are right in front of you?”

I rested my head on his shoulder and set my hand in his, squeezing tight. “Doyoung, how can I…how can I stop when i love him?”

“It’s not easy to stop loving someone but…no offense- well a little offense because this is going to be hard to hear- you stopped loving Jungwoo because he loved you too much, you can stop loving Johnny because you love him too much too. You can run away and leave without giving him any explanation.”

I pulled away from Doyoung completely.

“I’m sorry for saying that and hurting you, but maybe it’s the kind of shit you need to snap out of it.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And if you’re so worried about what might happen I can go to the pharmacy for you.”

“I-i just need time to think…” i said quietly.

“Well, you’ve got three days until it’s ineffective-or less effective or whatever. You can let me know ok?”

I nodded and felt him crush me to his chest. I held onto him for a long time, happy to feel a friends pure love rather than the tainted mess from my heart.

–

Johnny’s POV

“FUCKING SHIT!” I threw the beer bottle I just finished against my wall, watching it shatter into pieces. What the actual fuck just happened between Eri and I? Tonight was fucked up- no, beyond fucked up to the point where I just ended up more confused and angry then I was before. I paced back and forth across my room while thoughts zoomed in my brain. I tried to break everything down and figure out what i could so I could attempt to get my mind straight.

I was pissed off at Taeyong. He was such a smug little fuck about hooking up with Eri, blasting it all over the chat. And why were they counting how many times they hooked up with her like it was some sort of game? I didn’t want him anywhere near Eri. She was mi-. I stopped pacing for a moment. She wasn’t mine. She is not yours Johnny. She is NOT yours.

My pacing resumed. He didn’t deserve to touch her. And neither did those other assholes. I wanted her to myself. She’s mi-. As i grew close to the door i slammed my head against it, not too hard but enough to try and get it through my skull that Eri was not mine.

I had told her she would never be my girlfriend because I was angry. I knew it hurt her the second it came out of my mouth and I wished I could’ve taken it back. Our conversation was so back and forth she probably thought I was crazy. One minute I was mad, the other I wanted to be with her, comfort her, be inside her and make her feel good. I didn’t want her to feel like shit because of me but I was failing horribly.

What even possessed me to touch her like that? So slow and gentle? It felt like I was having an out of body experience and I watched who I wanted to be for her come out and take over. It was what I wanted to give her for the longest time. Something more stable to hold onto rather than whatever the fuck I was now. But that didn’t go over so well for my feelings. I was faded and more emotional than ever, a bad combination. I wanted to tell her what I felt for her but i don’t even think i’m too sure myself. Feelings were there but what kind? Did I have a crush? I liked her? Wanted to keep being fuck buddies? Did I love her? My body shuddered at the thought. I had never been in love before so how could I know?

I’ve always wanted to be in love and have someone to care about. I knew familiar love and friendship love but not romantic love. I wanted to take my girlfriend to the beach, to Korea, to visit countries across the globe. Take pictures of us for vacation scrapbooks and eat everything we could ever dream of. Go hiking with her and hold her hand so she wouldn’t trip on a branch and hurt herself. Laugh when we thought of a memory we had together or hold her as she cried. But i was also scared shitless of all of that. Could I even be that good of a person to her? I didn’t want to end up being a carbon copy of my dad. Why would I want to be the cause of my love’s suffering and leave them behind with a kid I didn’t care about?

Fuck.

The stupid condom.

I tossed myself onto my bed and groaned. I was scared of that too. I’m only 23 and work at a fucking coffee shop, what the hell was I gonna do with a kid? I’m sure we were gonna be okay but…it still made me a little queasy. Except for the fact that I thought cumming inside her was fucking hot. I was a complete jackass for thinking about it at a time like that but I couldn’t help it. Like me: worried to all hell and back about the condom breaking, also me: holy hell I want to do it again. I facepalmed myself and let out another frustrated groan. I was ready to just throw myself out a window rather than face my embarrassment and mistakes. Now Taeyong was probably going to be up her ass and I swear to god if he got with her I was personally going to go to his apartment and kick his ass.

I sat up and started taking off my clothes, figuring I could just sleep all this shit away and ignore it. I flung everything to a corner of my room and reached over to shut off my desk lamp. I noticed my little keychain that I had got at the bookstore resting on the desk. I picked it up and shut off the light before snuggling deep under the blankets. I kept the keychain close to me thinking of nothing but Eri as I went to sleep.

A week had passed since that weird half fight/half fuck between us and I was starting to get a taste of my own medicine. I hated not hearing from her and I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if by chance I missed anything. She hadn’t even posted on any of her social media that I followed her on. Whenever I would hang out with the guys at lunch none of them talked about her, not even Lucas. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to keep myself busy with school work but found myself thinking of her more than I needed too. Sometimes those thoughts implanted little sinister buds of sinfully delicious fantasies and in the midst of being hurt and confused about where we stood I was jacking off to thoughts of her more than I needed too. It was multiple times a day, whenever I was at home and it was starting to get on my nerves. I shouldn’t have been thinking about her like that when I was the cause of most of this mess but it couldn’t be helped. I was a stupid slut and would rather focus on that then the pain I caused her. I was in the middle of rutting against my hand and mattress only a few seconds away from cumming when my phone beside my pillow lit up. The brightness in the darkness of my room distracted me and I look at the screen, ready to ignore the notification until I saw who it was from. I wiped my hand on my sheets and snatched my phone up, unlocking it and going to the message.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: hey

I typed in my simple response quickly.

Hey

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over

Fuck…did she actually want to hook up?

What for babe?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇:  we need to talk.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: asap

Talk about what?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over and i’ll tell u dumbass

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: I mean it

Give me like 15 mins. Im busy

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: fine but dont keep me waiting.

I bit my lip and set my phone aside. It made me nervous to think about what she wanted to talk with me about. A small part of me was hoping that I could still get laid and have amazing makeup sex. But first…

–

Eri’s POV

I hated that I had to do this. With every fiber in my entire being. It was definitely up there with one of the worst decisions I would have to make. I didn’t want to talk to him or even make him think that I had forgiven him. I had purposefully ignored him like he had done to me so many times before. Even when he sent me the occasional text I left him on read. It felt good to have that power but I had to cut my reign of terror short when I realized that my problem needed a solution and fast. Time was running out and I exhausted all my resources. I knew I was going to regret this but it had to be done. My stomach was in knots as I waited for him. 15 minutes was a lie, it was over a half hour before he showed up at my place. His hair was damp and he smelled of fresh cologne and soap. I stared at him quizzically when I opened the door. He smiled at me, looking like he was happy to see me while I was mortified to see him. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy either. Just a white crew neck and some skinny jeans and winter coat but he still looked so damn good. Stupid fucker.

“Sooo…” he started, chewing on his bottom lip a little bit. I yanked him into my apartment and dragged him towards my room, slamming the door behind us. “Oh shit, ok.” He grabbed at his shirt, about to take it off when I stopped him.

“No! None of that!” I swatted at his hands. “That’s not what I called you over here for.”

“Oh…” he said, dejected.

I rolled my eyes. “Look, i don’t have any other choice. You were the last person on my list, so don’t like flatter yourself.”

“What is going on? You’re making me suspicious.”

I sighed. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Oh jesus christ no, not what I meant!!

“Excuse me WHAT?!” He screamed.

“AHHH FUCK, I MEANT PRETEND. PREEEETENND. PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!!” I tried to correct myself.

“AGAIN, WHAT, AND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THE FUCK?!”

“Ugh! Okay okay, back peddling.” I took a deep breath trying not to fuck this up even more than I already had. “Just hear me out ok?”

“You better start talking asap, bro!”

“I need someone to come with me to my sister’s Quinceanera this weekend. I have literally asked every single one of my guy friends and they’re all "conveniently” busy. I seriously need help.“

"Why can’t you take Quinn or something?!”

I sighed. “Johnny, if I show up with a girl as my date my grandparents would disown me and it would make a huge scene at the party and I can’t take that away from Dani. My family has this thing where they obsess over asking me if I have a boyfriend or not. I’m the oldest cousin so according to them I should be married and pregnant by now. My mom tries her best to keep them at bay but if I just show up with someone they will at least be civil for this party. Please. I don’t have anyone else. I wouldn’t be asking you this if it wasn’t a huge deal for me.”

“Well that sounds like a personal problem. Sucks to suck.”

I was shocked that that was actually his response. It was a good effort I guess but I was stuck doing this alone. I hoped to all hell nothing would happen that would ruin this for my little sister. It was completely stupid that my family judged me based on who I loved or wanted to be with, that every question about my life had to revolve around me having a man. It always started with a blanket question, one that seemed innocent enough, but then veered into “when will you get a boyfriend?” territory. Not only that but I still had to be on the down low whenever I was with them. Dani knew and so did my mom who was still working to be supportive but that was it. I knew I couldn’t tell other people in my family. If I went alone I could just suck it up and be miserable the whole time which at this point looked to be my only option. “Sorry to bother you…” I said as i sat down at my desk. I lowered my head onto the top and tried to figure out a way to smooth things over with my family for one night.

“Eri…is this really that serious?”

I raised my head up and looked at him. “Yes. I just want things to go right with this, for her sake. I’m literally the black sheep of the family. I’m darker than everyone, my hair is curlier, i’m queer, i play in a heavy metal band, i’m not ultra feminine, and i’m as far away from traditional as possible.” I tried again to convince him. It was turning out to be more pathetic than I hoped for. “I will promise, like absolutely promise, to be nice and civil with you if you do this for me. Please Johnny?”

“What do I get in return?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Whatever you want. I’m too desperate to fight you on this.”

“Anything I want? You’re serious?” He asked. I could almost see the deviousness going on in his head and instantly regretted it. But I swallowed my pride.

“Anything.”

“Ok. I’ll think about what I want and let you know. I gotta dress up or something?”

“So you’ll do it?” I practically jumped out of my chair.

“Yeah, i’ll do it.”

“Fuck, you stupid bastard! You’re the best!” I threw myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug. “It’s tomorrow night. We have to drive two hours to get to where I live. It won’t end until late so we can get a motel if we’re too tired to drive back.”

“A motel, huh?”

“Don’t even start, please.” I went to pull away but he set his hand on the small of my back, keeping me close.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” He lowered his head towards mine, getting dangerously close to my lips. I swallowed hard.

“W-well…wear something nice and don’t be an asshole. Um…pretend like I’m the greatest thing to ever grace your life? Hold my hand or something…or hold me in general. Follow all my lies and try to remember them. Be prepared to be grilled by every woman in my family and subject to a bunch of sexist and misogynistic comments from my stupid uncles. They’ll be some kids there running around and loud ass music. Um…you may have to dance with me.”

“Oof…I’m not a great dancer.”

“It’s fine, i don’t dance much either. Oh and don’t get drunk. Oh! And don’t let me get drunk. I think that’s the gist of it. I may think of other stuff on the way there. Is that all ok?”

He cupped my face in his hand while the other held mine. He lowered himself to my lips and kissed me gently, barely teasing my tongue with his own and making my heart feel like it was about to burst. When he pulled away my lips kept following him not wanting to let go. He chuckled softly and looked directly at me. “Mi amor, siento que no puedo vivir sin ti.”

I shoved him away. “BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

He cackled loudly, clutching at his stomach. “Is that “boyfriend” enough for you?”

“Where the hell did you pull that from?!”

“You said it’s a Quinceanera right? I figured I could put my 6 years of Spanish class to good use. How’d I do?” He was still laughing up a storm while I was ready to call off the whole thing. I couldn’t believe he would be able to possibly understand my stupid family.

“How much do you know?” I asked.

“Enough. I’ll mess up every now and again but I think i could pull off a conversation if I needed to.”

“Christ. Ok…If they say something to you just pretend you don’t know anything. I know they’re gonna talk shit and then you can come back and tell me. That’s all we’re gonna do, ok? Ok. I’m gonna throw up.”

“Why? I won’t mess this up, okay? I know she’s important to you. We’ll be civil remember?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you, Johnny. Seriously.”

He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It’s cool. So what time is my hot date picking me up?”

“Probably around 4, i’m sure I’ll need to help set up and stuff. And help with makeup. We can get dressed at the motel because I do not want to walk in heels in the snow and i also don’t want to mess up my dress. Where I live my mom said that the snow is more melted and they have clearer sidewalks so I should be good there.”

“Alright, sounds good…so…what’s our plan for tonight?”

I raised my brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I came all the way here and I figured we might…We could practice for being a couple tomorrow.”

“You’re going to give me a bunch of hickies and I can’t have that.”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. All you do is bite and scratch like a little chihuahua.” He laughed.

I stomped my foot down and huffed. “I am not a little chihuahua!”

“How about I make them where everyone can’t see? Then we won’t have any problems, hmm?”

I crossed my arms and pursed my lips together, hating how devilishly convincing he could be. He was a natural born flirt and it made me want to punch him. I nibbled my bottom lip contemplating if I should really give him the satisfaction. He pulled his coat off and yanked his shirt over his head, showing me his perfectly toned chest and how low slung his jeans were. Asshole. I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close so we could crash our lips together. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me, shoving his tongue past my teeth and coaxing me to moan in his mouth. I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him down so I could roll on top of him. “What’s the real reason you were late?” I asked as I dug my nails into his stomach.

“Jacking off.” He grabbed at my tshirt and tried pulled it up but I shoved his hands away and pinned his wrists down.

“I knew it, pig.”

“You act like you don’t do it. How many times have you showed me what you like doing when you’re alone, hmm? When we facetime and I call you late at night?” He teased.

“Shut up, Johnny. You’re so fucking annoying.” I dove my head down to bite at his chest, leaving harsh kisses in my wake. He tried moving his hands but i kept him pinned, liking the fact that he was the one squirming for once. I moved just a bit lower to land a few bites before licking through the center of his chest and up his throat. His entire body practically caved in on itself with how hard he shuddered.

“Fu-fuck…” He licked his lips and tossed his head back, moaning deeply. I blushed as I watched, feeling myself become victim to how good he looked. I resisted the urge to suck on his neck and went back to his chest, taking his nipple into my mouth. I knew this would truly make him squirm but i didn’t expect how hard his hips would buck. I moved my head away from him to over hover his face.

“You’re not being a very good boy are you?”

He opened one eye to glare at me. “When am I ever?”

“I think I should stop. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Oh don’t you play that game with me, Eri! That’s not fair!”

I moved away from him completely and made my way over to open my bedroom door. “Out.”

He sad up with an incredulous look on his face. “You’re kidding?!”

“You’re being bad so you get nothing. C'mon now.”

“I’ll be good then! Whatever the fuck that means!”

I shook my head. “I’ll pick you up at 4, ok?”

“Fuckin’ hell!” He got up, his jeans visibly tighter and pulled his shirt back over his head. He grabbed his coat and made his way out of my room with the biggest pout on his face. Just as he had stepped out of the door frame he turned back to me. “Can I ask you something?” He propped his forearm above his head on the frame and looked down at me.

“What?”

“Besides us freaking out…did you…did you like it when I came inside you?

My entire face felt like it was on fire and took a step back as if that would somehow prevent him from seeing my embarrassment. "I-i-i-i have n-noooo idea what you’re t-talking about!” I stuttered.

“I mean, did you like the way it felt inside you? Like how hot or how deep it was?”

“Please stop talking!” My voice was now a squeaky whisper.

Johnny smirked and ran his tongue over his teeth. “I guess that answers my question, doesn’t it? See ya tomorrow, Eri. And don’t forget, you owe me one.” He winked at me and headed towards my front door, leaving me more flustered than ever.

–

I spent the whole two hour ride telling him about which one of my aunts would grill him the most and which cousin got pregnant first and who’s baby daddy was a complete failure and which of my uncles was most likely to get drunk and cause a scene. I was sure he wouldn’t remember any of it but I was trying to over prepare him for the shit show that was my family. I also needed him to make a good impression so it would look like he was actually happy to be dating me. Fake dating me of course. We checked into the motel first and I spent most of my time being frustrated with my hair and trying to curl it the way I wanted it. It just barely cooperated and i wasted about half a can of hairspray trying to keep everything in place.

My makeup was more softer and neutral than normal to go with my pastel pink floor length sweetheart neckline dress (which made me feel lowkey so pretty). Dani’s theme colors were pink and mint so I was able to at least wear something I would like. Just as i had slipped on my gown i realized there was no way I could reach the zipper in the back. I huffed and squirmed, trying my damndest until I finally gave up. I opened the bathroom door just a crack and peeked out. My heart basically exploded and I wouldn’t normally say that my basement could flood in two seconds but this was definitely one of those times.

Johnny was checking himself out in the large mirror on the other side of the room. He wore black pinstripe pants that hugged his ass like a dream. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled to the elbows and a fitted grey vest covered his torso. He adjusted the black tie around his neck, fussing with it until he seemed comfortable enough. He had an extremely nice watch on one wrist and a silver chain bracelet on the other. A few simple rings decorated his fingers and his black dress shoes seemed to sparkle in the fluorescent lighting. His hair was even freshly faded and his bangs trimmed and slicked back. Lord have mercy I wanted to die. I swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before I called out to him.

His honey brown eyes shot up to look at me and I gripped the handle of the bathroom door tighter. “What?”

“Could you um…help me zip my dress?”

He sauntered over to me I tried to keep myself within the tiny gap of the open door but he pushed it open leaving me exposed to all of his handsome glory. He found the zipper and slid it up slowly, making sure the fabric didn’t get caught in it. “Do you want me to tie the sash thing too?” I nodded meekly and felt his hands smooth over the fabric under my chest and slide back to gather the ends to tie into a bow. It was such a simple thing to do but it had my body turning warmer by the second. I caught him looking at me in the reflection of the mirror above the sink once he was done. He looked shocked, licking his lips as if he was trying to say something but not being able to get anything out. I turned my head back towards him.

“Do I…do I look okay?”

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Yeah, you look alright.”

“Oh…” I said softly. Just alright.

“I mean like you look good, you know? Um…yeah, real good.”

I avoided looking at him as I slipped out the bathroom. I didn’t have that much time left before we had to head over and I still had to wiggle my feet into heels that I was sure would break my ankles as soon as I got into them. I struggled to get them strapped around my ankles, huffing when my boobs got in my way as I doubled over to reach my feet. I sat down at the small desk and tried to angle myself another way but it was still just as frustrating. “Need help with that too?” He asked.

I nodded, defeated and he came in front of me, landing on one knee. He slid my dress up to my thigh and took my foot in his hands, delicately securing the straps around my ankle. I couldn’t help but feel like Cinderella in that moment, even if my so called prince charming was a fuck boy. “Thanks.” I said softly as I stood up. He rose to his feet too and it was weird to almost be face to face with him, instead of staring at his chest.

“Oh, i don’t like this.” He joked. “I’d like you to stay mini sized.”

“Yeah well they won’t be on for long. They’re already killing me. I just need to get through the walk and first dance and then i’m tossing them.” I nibbled my lip for a moment before pressing them to his, which seemed to catch him a little off guard. “Hmm, it’s nice to not have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss you.”

“Hm, let’s hope that walk goes fast. I don’t like those heels either.” He smiled at me and offered his arm. “Ready now?”

I grabbed my clutch from atop the desk and nodded. “You have the room key right?”

“Yep.” We headed out of the room and towards the parking lot to my car. “You know, the pastel pink is really nice with your skin tone.”

I straightened up at his compliment. “You really think so?”

He opened the door to my car and lead me to sit down. “I know so.”

I laughed nervously. “A-are you practicing your boyfriend skills?” I tried to make it sound like a joke but he just shrugged and went over to the passenger side to get in. I swallowed hard and clicked my seat belt into place before revving up the engine. “Oh, remember how I said if I told you my government name I’d have to kill you?”

“Yeah?”

“Well you’re going to hear it tonight and if you so much as ever repeat it you won’t have a dick, got it?”

“Why not? It can’t be that bad!”

“Trust me, it definitely is.”

–

“ERIANNALISSE!”

I cringed. I cringed hard and wanted to shrink away into a minuscule molecule and be non existent. I didn’t even want to look at Johnny to see what he was going to say. I could practically hear him trying to cover up his snickers. I sighed and put on a fake smile as my aunt came to me with arms wide open to capture me in a death grip hug that could snap my spine in half. “Ay, mija! Look at you, you look so pretty!” She paused. “Have you gained weight?”

“Nice to see you too, Titi.” I grit my teeth and tried to ignore her shade. Her eyes went over to Johnny, looking him up and down and squinting her eyes a bit.

“Eriannalisse, quien es este?” She asked who Johnny was.

I grabbed onto his arm, digging my nails into his bicep. “This is my….boyfriend, Johnny.”

He waved and grimaced through my death grip. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Hm…” Was all my aunt said. “Titi Carmen has been wanting to see you. I’m sure she’d want to meet…Johnny.”

“Yeah, i’ll go see her in a bit! I have to find mami and Dani first.”

My aunt kissed both of my cheeks and left to go join the gossiping group of women in my family who all suddenly turned their gazes from their champagne flutes to Johnny and I. I turned my back towards them and looked up at Johnny. “I will literally pay you .25 cents to kill me. Just make it quick.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Eriannalisse. What’s the worst that could happen?”  He smirked and laughed a bit which made me frown.

“Johnny, I told you don’t call me that. I’m serious. They can call me that because they don’t recognize who I am as a person. You can’t.”

“O-oh…is it a gay thing? Like one of your gay things that you won’t explain to me?”

I sighed and looked down at my feet. “Yeah, sort of. I’ll explain it to you eventually. Just not now ok?”

He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Ok, i’m sorry. I won’t say it again.” He leaned down just a bit and gave me a soft (rated PG) kiss which made me smile.

“It’s just hard being around them…I wish it would be a fun time but-” I suddenly heard vicious clacking before arms were thrown around my shoulders.

“ERIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!” I recognized the overly excited voice and looked up at my modelesque baby sister. “I missed you so much!”

I kissed her cheek and turned around to properly hug her. “Hey, happy birthday.”

“You’re like almost my height!” She said, looking down at my heels. Dani was so graciously blessed with being 5’8”, skinny, with straighter hair and caramel skin as opposed to my milk chocolate. Her eyes were the perfect shade of hazel with flecks of green that sparkled perfectly. She was only my half sister as our fathers were different but we were raised both the same, save for the fact that she was a model and I was the throw away. “You look so pretty. I’m glad you’re not in black- Yooooooooooo, who is THIS!?” Her attention turned to Johnny, her eyes wide and mouth practically watering.

“Uh…hey.” he said sheepishly.

“This is my boyfriend, Johnny.”

Dani laughed and slapped my shoulder. “No, really!? Who is he?”

I pouted. “I’m serious. He’s my boyfriend.”

Dani looked at me then stepped up to Johnny. “What’s her favorite color?”

“Pastel pink.” He answered.

“Favorite food?”

“Pizza…and pasta.”

“What instruments can she play?”

“Guitar, and she sings.”

“What’s her favorite anime?”

“Sailor Moon.”

Dani squinted her eyes. “When’s her birthday?”

Fuck, he didn’t know that. I grabbed Dani’s arm, trying to get her attention from ruining our facade. “Dani, can you not grill him please? It’s bad enough Titi Lisa and probably Titi Carmen are talking shit about us already. Also, I haven’t told mom yet.”

“You haven’t told mom yet?! How long have you been dating?”

“It’ll be four months in December.” Johnny added. “We started dating right when the semester started. We have a class together and I thought she was cute so,” He shrugged. “Here we are.”

“Yeah but you’re hot. Eri has never dated anyone this hot before.”

“Well gee, thanks Dani! And i’ve dated cute people before!”

“Yeah cute, not hot. He’s hot. If you’re not going to keep him, I’ll take him.”

“You’re fifteen!” Johnny and I said at the same time.

Dani shrugged. “I mean…”

I held my hand up. “Don’t even go there. He’s like-” How old was Johnny anyway? “Way older than you. Stop being an instagram thot for once. Where’s mami? I need to know when she wants us to line up and start this.”

“I think at 8 exactly, but she’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I’ve just been chilling with my friends for now. This dress weighs like 50 pounds and I’m sweating like a whore in church.” Dani fanned at herself and hiked up the bodice of her dress. I looked at her poofy dress that was a beautiful array of soft Monet colors but way too 90’s barbie cake topper. It wouldn’t have been my first choice but I was sure mami wanted it to look as traditional as possible. “Oh, by the wayyyy, I know you have a boyfriend now but mami invited Josue.”

I straightened up completely when I heard that name. Josue was my childhood crush. He was older than me and I never stood a chance with him but we always played together. Once we kissed in my backyard and told me that he wanted to play house with me and be the daddy. I had been in love with him up until I was 12 when he moved away to a different state. “Jo-Josue? He’s coming? Here? Tonight?” I squeaked.

“Who’s Josue?” Johnny interjected.

“Josue is Eri’s big ol’ crush from when she was younger. All they did was play house together and be mommy and daddy and make kissy faces at each other. Then they kissed for real and he touched her chichi’s! But they never lived happily ever after because he moved away.”

“Dani, por favor, why do you have to be like this? I’m just happy to know he’s going to be here. I haven’t even seen him in like…almost 7 years. Besides I’m with Johnny now so it doesn’t matter.” I forced his arm around my waist and he clutched onto it tightly.

“Uh-huh whatever. Have you not followed him on Insta? There’s a lot of nice gym pictures. He hit a growth spurt. He’s like 6”3’ now.”

I swallowed hard. “Really? O-oh wow…”

“Sounds like a tool.” Johnny scoffed. “Ya’ll got beer at this place?”

Dani nodded towards the bar at the back of the venue. “Just fight my uncles off before they drink them all.”

“Cool.” He dipped out completely, leaving me and my sister to be swept away by our mother who had just stepped in like she was out of breath. She hustled to get us all lined up and ready like a bridal party ready to walk down the aisle. I sighed as I stayed in place, shuffling a bit as my feet already started to hurt. My mind started wandering to my childhood crush. Memories started bubbling to the surface; he had been my first kiss, the first to get to second base, and the first person I had wanted to be my boyfriend. He was three years older than me and I didn’t stand a chance with him. But his name was written all over my notebooks until I got my first girlfriend.

I couldn’t help but peek around a bit, wondering if he was already in the venue. I didn’t have much time to investigate as our entrance music started playing and pair by pair we walked into the main dance floor. I was walking with one of my younger cousin’s who I rarely spoke with so I barely paid attention. He had to yank me back a bit when I walked too fast and it made me want to punch him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny leaning against the back wall nursing a beer and watching me intensely. I smiled in his direction, letting him know I was still trying to be civil but he just took another sip and shoved his hand into his pocket. I wondered if he was ignoring me on purpose or if he genuinely didn’t see me. I chewed on my bottom lip almost getting swept up in my thoughts, that was until I saw Dani walking into the room.

Even though I had seen her just minutes ago now that all eyes were on her she looked sparkling and glowing. I’d never seen her look so beautiful before and it brought tears to my eyes that I tried wiping away as soon as they surfaced. I was a proud sibling then. She meant so much to me that I hoped that this day always reminded her of the happiest times she had in her life. We had our ups and downs but for the most part I was always there for her as much as she was there for me. She embarrassed me and I made sure I had to keep her in place before she got too out of hand. Even though I was far away from home now, I knew we would always remain close.

The floor was hers now and we dispersed to let her have the spotlight. I retreated to one of the circular tables while her and our mom shared a dance. It was normally meant for a daughter and her father but since neither of us had them in our lives our mother was the one who deserved to have that dance. I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned to see Johnny sitting behind me at the table. “Want some?” He said, offering the beer which i denied.

“I hate that kind. I’ll leave you too it.”

“She looks nice.”

“She’s a little shit but I love her.”

“I could say the same about you.”

I whipped my head around to stare at him wide eyed. “W-what?”

“I meant like you’re chill! Like i like you. Not like like you but like we’re cool. Uh…you know.” I stammered.

“Right…yeah, um…ok.”

“You wanna dance?!” He said, changing the subject quickly. Dani and my mother had finished their sentimental dance and the dj had switched to some reggaeton/trap mix Dani most likely requested.

“Uh, you mean make a fool out of ourselves?”

He shrugged and chugged down the rest of the beer in a few gulps. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. My cousins were already grinding with whoever they invited or dancing in groups and laughing. We could probably blend in without being too weird. I kicked off my heels and stood up, extending my hand for him to take. I should’ve had a drink before I even agreed to this. My stomach was already in knots and my anxiety was making me feel like I was going to look stupid but he took my hand and we found a spot in a little corner of the dance floor. I stood in front of him waiting for him to make a move but he just stood there with his hands in his pockets. Why the hell did he keep doing that? Was it a nervous habit?

“So…” he said.

“Are you gonna like…move?”

“I’ve never danced to this sort of music. What do I do?”

“Literally it’s the same as rap music in english. You just sorta…” I gestured towards my family. “Grind on each other and act a fool.”

“So you turn around and just like put your ass against me?”

“Oh my God, have you never done that before?”

“Listen I was a dork and went to high school with a bunch of white kids and we like listened to Ke$ha and Britney Spears. What do you want from me?” He laughed.

“That’s unfortunate.” I joked. I turned around so my back was against his chest and I set his hands on my hips. “I’m not the best but I figure I can put my ass to use.” I worked myself back against him, swaying to the music a bit in hopes of getting him to respond.

Instead he laughed nervously and held my waist tighter. “How do people not get boners doing this?”

“I mean that’s what the song 'Too Close’ is about. Don’t tell me this is turning you on already.” I teased.

He lowered himself to face level and turned my head towards his to kiss me. I held it for a bit, enjoying the way the warmth of his tongue flowed over mine until I realized if my mom caught me doing this my ass would be grass. I pushed him back gently. “Johnny! I can’t do that. Behave!”

“C'mon, I at least need to have a little bit of fun while I’m here. And then when we get back to the motel we can-”

I felt a tap on my shoulder then. Johnny and I both looked up to see a tall, absolutely golden, green eyed adonis that looked like he could pick me up and toss me around in an instant. If I could have heart eyes I definitely would. I let go of Johnny instantly, almost pushing him away as my heart started to skip beats.

“Eri!” I knew it was him instantly even if puberty hit him like a freight train and gave him a deep bass-y voice that made my hair stand on end. He opened his arms to scoop me up and crush me to his barrel chest which smelled of high priced cologne. My feet dangled just a bit when he lifted me. “I can’t believe it. I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“Oh my god, Josue…Jesus, you’re huge.” God I hoped he was huge everywhere.

He laughed and I tried not to show how much it affected me. “Oh yeah, I’m really into that health and fitness thing. You really uh…wow. Definitely not a teeny bopper anymore.” He set me back down and adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket.

“Yep! Got bigger boobs now, haha!” Why did I say that? WHY???

He licked his lips a smiled a bit. “I can definitely see that.”

Johnny cleared his throat deeply. Josue turned his attention to the man behind me. “Oh hey, I’m Josue. Who are you?”

“I’m her boy-”

“This is just Johnny!” I interjected with a nervous laugh. “Just Johnny! Want to go get something to drink? We can catch up!”

Josue flashed his incredibly perfect teeth. “Yeah I’d love that.” He set his giant hand against the small of my back ushering me away from Johnny.

“Eri!” Johnny said sternly.

“I’ll just be quick!” I mouthed to him, letting myself get whisked away. He didn’t seem too happy about that but I could let him sulk for a bit. I was too preoccupied at the moment anyway.

–

Johnny’s POV

That was fucked up. Way more than fucked up and I was pissed off beyond belief. She was the one who begged me to come with her so she would survive her family. Now she was head over heels for some dude she had a crush on years ago who looked like the biggest douchebag to ever exist. He was taller than me and more built, had perfect teeth and no lisp. I wanted to punch him dead in the jaw.

I didn’t know what to do now. If I went after her it might cause a scene which I didn’t completely want. I still knew that this party was important to her sister and unlike her I wasn’t being an asshole for once. I could get another drink and maybe get away with being a little tipsy but her loud uncles were hogging up the space and the bartender’s attention. I grumbled as I sat back down at the table. my arms crossed as I contemplated leaving her and going back to the motel by myself.

"What are you pouting for?!” Dani said as she plopped down next to me, her poofy dress seeming to expand.

“Nothing.”

“Where’s Eri?”

“With precious Josue.” I said bitterly.

“Ah, so he finally found her. I knew he would.” She drummed her nails on the table thinking over her next statement. “You’re not dating my sister are you?”

“It’s complicated…”

“You’re fuck buddies?”

“Yes.”

“I figured as much. She can’t never lie right when it comes to me. So, you’re in love with her then?”

I snapped my head towards her. “Excuse me?”

“You’re in love with her right? I mean that’s the only reason you would be sulking over her because Eri went off with her new papi.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not sulking.” She was definitely Eri’s sister with how she blurted out things without consequence.

“Look, if you want to win her over you need to definitely do something that will make her remember you. Not that I want to hear about my sister’s sex life or even think about her getting p or v action, but if you got something she might like, go for it. And do it before she ends up going to Josue’s hotel.” She craned her neck to see where Eri and that asshole had gone off too. “Looks like he may have already given her his number.”

I looked in the same direction, my anger only getting stronger. They were huddled over their phones, laughing, with Eri casually (but noticeably) keeping her hands on him. I didn’t want to “win her over”. I wanted to stake my claim and tell him to fuck right off. The grip on my biceps got tighter the more I stared at them. “Ay, you got a younger brother?”

I turned my attention back to Dani, a bit grateful that she was distracting me enough to not go apeshit. “What? No? I’m an only child.”

“Wack. But like if you’re not gonna date Eri then likeeee…”

“You’re fifteen! I’m not going to jail nor am I interested.”

“Ok, ok…but like do you have any younger friends? What flavor Asian are you? Chinese? Or like them ones that dance on tv? The um…the Korean ones!”

“Oh my God.” I ran a hand over my face. “Yes I’m Korean. And no I don’t have any friends your age. My only young friend in Toronto is 18, which is still illegal.”

“Dammit. You know Eri be listening to that stuff right?”

I pulled out my phone, wanting her to take a hint that she was now annoying me without being too rude. “Doesn’t surprise me when she fucks half of Asia.”

“All her hookups are with Asian guys?”

“As far as I’m aware. But who fuckin’ knows.”

“Oooohhh I gotta mess with her about that. Guess she trying to get that carribean dick now.” She cackled and slapped my back hard as she got up. “Call me, ok?!” She said as she finally left me to join the gaggle of teenage girls that were her friends.

I rubbed my temples and took a few deeps breaths. I needed a smoke, badly. I looked to see if Eri was still stuck to Josue’s side but they were nowhere to be found. I looked around the dance floor trying to see if they might have gone there. Sure enough she was grinding on him now, definitely not as awkward as she had been with me. She was practically bent over and ready to get fucked by him. Fuck it. I stood up and weaved through everyone dancing to make my way over to her. I stood in front of her, watching as she came up from shaking her ass.

“Can we help you?” Josue yelled over the music to me. I rolled my eyes at him and took Eri’s chin in my hand giving her a deep kiss. She stumbled back a bit and gripped onto my vest. When i pulled away i licked my lips, tasting the slight flavor of her lipstick.

“Johnny!” She exclaimed.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, in his macho voice, trying to one up me.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” I grabbed onto Eri’s waist and kept her close to me. “She’s MY girlfriend. You had your fun catching up right?”

“Eri, you didn’t tell me-”

She looked panicked as she glanced between us. “No, wait- It’s just-”

“Come with me.” I growled in her ear. “Now.”

“Johnny , I swear to g-” I kept my arm around her waist and lead her towards the front door of the venue. When we were in the clear she whipped around to face me. “What the actual fuck?!”

“I should be asking you the same thing! You’re really gonna ditch me to throw yourself on him? After you begged me to come here?!”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him! We haven’t seen each other in 7 years! So excuse me if I wanted to talk with him.”

“Hard to talk to him with his dick practically in your mouth! What is wrong with you?!”

“Why are you being such a jerk again! You always do this!” She yelled.

“You’re the one being the jerk this time! I’m fuckin’ pissed. When are we leaving?”

“Leaving?! I have to stay here for at least a few hours! Clearly you don’t know how these go.”

“No, Eri, i fuckin’ don’t. But I do know that you going off with someone else while I’m supposed to be your boyfriend blows our entire cover. So either you fucking act right or I can leave right now. You sister already knows were lying.”

“Fuck!” She stomped her foot and sighed. “I knew she would figure it out. She better not tell anyone.”

“I’m pretty sure she won’t have to with you being stupid. Get me my cigs from your purse wallet thingy.”

“Get you-? Get it yourself! I’m freezing and I’m going back inside. And maybe i’ll still be talking with Josue!”

I grabbed her arm and held onto it. “Eri, do you want to go there? Really want to go there?” My eyes caught hers and i could see how hard she swallowed. Her chest was heaving chest a bit and trembling with the cold.

“What are you going to do?” She sniffled.

“Do you want to find out?”

“M-maybe.”

I let her go then opened the door, guiding her back inside. “Then keep it up. I dare you.”

She stayed quiet then but shuffled ahead of me quickly. I realized I had made her walk outside without her shoes on or our coats but it was whatever at this point. I needed her to know that I wasn’t playing games any more. She was mine.

–*

Eri’s POV

I could barely keep up with Johnny’s long strides from the parking lot to the door of our motel room. He continued his little tyrade of sticking by me and keeping me from Josue, never letting go of my hand, or my waist, even when he went through the ringer of meeting more members of my family. Him being pissed off had me pissed off and it didn’t help when my family told me how fat I looked, or asked when Johnny and I were getting married, or why I had spent so much time in college, or even that what I was studying wasn’t going to get me a real job. It made the entire rest of the night absolutely fucking miserable. Not to mention when I told my mother I was going to spend the night in the motel with Johnny instead of driving home at midnight she blew up on me, saying that it wasn’t right and insisting that I stay at the house. I refused to and I had no idea why she still thought I was some sort of Virgin de Guadalupe or some shit. It was another fight to end this magical night. I gave up and just wanted to take a hot shower, put on my fuzzy pajamas on and possibly smoother Johnny with a pillow as he slept.

Johnny barged into our room, not even bothering to hold the door open for me. I didn’t even want to deal with him since I was still mad at my mother for treating me like a child. I went straight to prepping for my shower, tossing my clutch and fake eyelashes on the desk and my phone on the bed so i could plug it in to charge. I unzipped the dress as best as I could without his assistance and shimmied out of it, leaving it a puddle in front of the bed. I didn’t care anymore. Not one bit. After I showered I pulled the too short towel around me and went back into the shared space. Johnny was sitting in the chair, feet propped up on the desk and tie loosened. He was glaring at me and I swallowed hard at the intensity. He dropped his legs and leaned forward in the seat, undoing the first few buttons on his dress shirt.

I tried to ignore the effect he had on me and instead went to my duffel bag to try and find my pajamas. He stopped me as I passed by him, grabbing my wrist and pulling me in front of him. “Ow! What’s your problem now?!” I asked, still trying to clutch onto my towel so it wouldn’t fall.

“This night was complete bullshit. I’m your boyfriend and all you could do was throw yourself onto that guy and embarrass me in front of everyone.”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him!” I argued again. I hated that he was saying that. So what if I found Josue incredibly attractive and felt like a preteen again as soon as I saw him? That was my business and not Johnny’s.

“You grinded on him, got his number, and had your arms around him for minutes on end. You made me look stupid. I’m your boyfriend, Eri.”

“Fake boyfriend.” I corrected.

“That’s what I meant.”

“Why should you be embarrassed then?!”

“Because your uncles didn’t think that I was man enough to keep you with me. And your aunts talked shit about me all night.” He pressed himself up against me making the edge of the desk dig into my lower back. “You said you were going to be civil and you were far from civil.” He set his hands on either side of my hips, keeping me in place.

“A-ah, Johnny…back u-up.” I whimpered and avoided looking at him but he grabbed my face roughly.

“You wanna try that shit again, Eri? Hmm?”

I could feel his fingers digging harshly into my jaw. “I didn’t do anything wrong! You’re just a jealous prick that-”

He pulled away from me and shoved me back onto the bed, instantly hovering over me. My towel fell open just like my legs and he pinned both my wrists above my head in one of his large hands. I swallowed hard and felt my heartbeat increase. I had no idea what had gotten into him and i was partially thinking about what Doyoung had said about Johnny. Was he actually trying to manipulate me and make me feel bad for being with Josue? I bit my lip as I thought, wondering what his next move would be. “Get off me.” I tried to sound strong but it was a pathetic attempt.

“Open.” He demanded.

“W-what?” What the hell did he want? I figured it out quickly as three of his fingers dove down my throat almost making me gag. I squirmed against him, trying to edge my head away but he was adding more of his weight onto me as his fingers plowed into my mouth. His knee was pressed right into my center, the residual wetness from the shower dampening the fabric. I tried swallowing around the invasion when his knee started to rock into me.

“Suck harder, Eri.”

I didn’t dare look at him. His voice was doing something to me as always. Stirring the pot of emotions and hormones that made me fall into a space of complete submission. This wasn’t like his usual ways though throughout or hookups I could see the dominance poking through. Now he was another person that I was desperate to get to know. I tried my best to suck deeper at his fingers, sliding my tongue around them and providing them all the wetness they hopefully needed. I knew exactly where they were going and i was going to be stretched far beyond my imagination. With his thrust his rings kissed my lips, shocking me with a bit of cold and excitement. I edged my tongue around the silver as best I could given the invasion that took up most of my mouth. Slowly the metal warmed up and I pressed my thighs against his, feeling a tingling throughout my center.

He pulled his hand away sharply, making me cough as his glistening fingers dove lower. Two were rushed inside me making my knees jerk up towards my chest and toes curl. I was already crying out his name, wanting him to slow down just enough for me to catch my breath and adjust but he ignored me. Instead he was working in the third finger, forcing my walls to flex and waver around him. He was already digging my arousal out of me. I could hear it so blatantly echoing in our room. I buried my face in my arm beside my head, still being unable to free my hands though I struggled as much as I could. He seemed to like that struggle as his fingers curled deep inside me, knuckles pressing against my entrance, the rings threatening to push past and fill me up too.

“Fuck, Johnny!!!” I cried out as my thighs almost snapped shut. It was starting to be too much and I could feel myself already crawling towards an orgasm.

“Quiet.” Was all he said as he pulled his fingers out to give me some relief from the pressure. I was throbbing and gaping around the stretch he left behind, my whole lower half practically trembling. He finally let me go and sat down on the bed. He splayed his legs open, unzipping his dress pants and beckoning me over to him. “Get over here.”

I shook my head, raising myself to my knees and shrinking myself away. I wasn’t scared of him, far from it. I was definitely turned on more than anything but I wanted to push him further than he had ever been capable of. He wanted to be a jealous boyfriend that pushed my buttons well I was going to push right back. “You’re being a jerk. I’m not giving you the satisfaction, especially after you decided to barge in there with your giant ass fingers!”

He lurched forward and grabbed onto my arm before I could wiggle away. He yanked me to his chest then gripped the back of my neck hard. Our eyes met before he pulled me close to his lips. “I like it better when you don’t talk.”

I squinted at him, almost in shock that he used my own line against me. “You fucker.”

He pressed me down towards his lap though I tried to resist as much as I could. It was no use as he was stronger than me and I was face to face with his growing length trapped within his briefs. His hand was now digging into my hair keeping me firmly in place. I landed a bite to his hipbone making sure he knew I wasn’t too pleased in the way he was handling me. He hissed out my name and arched his hips, his nails digging into my scalp. I wrapped my hand around his, trying to pry his iron grip away while adding kitten licks to the outline of his cock. That seemed to soothe him a little as I heard him exhale through his nose as he relaxed back against the wall. His nails quit marking my skin and he opted to push my hair away from my face gently instead of trying to rip it out.

I slid his briefs back and guided him towards my mouth pressing kisses down the shaft before licking back up to the tip. Once I got to the tip, I took him in, swallowing his head completely. I shifted my hips to raise my ass higher for him to look at knowing it would tease him. I looked up at him and saw the full pleasure that was written across his face. His eyes had closed, his lips pressed together, and his fingers trailing down to open more buttons on his dress shirt. I popped off him and placed kisses up his stomach with each new area that became exposed. “I can tease that little spot that you like.” I smirked and added a slow stroke to his cock.

“Actually, I have a better idea.” He shoved me down onto my back and straddled my shoulders, his cock now hovering above my face. I couldn’t move with his weight on me and I was trapped between his thick thighs. He tapped my lips with his cock which I absolutely hated. I slapped at his stomach but he remained stoic. He only moved to shove himself down my throat, propping one hand against the wall while the other kept my head in place. He worked quickly to rock his hips against my face making me claw at him. I wasn’t used to this sort of thing, even with all of my experience, and it hurt like all hell. I was trying my damnedest not to gag around him but it was impossible given the fact that he was ramming into my throat. My eyes watered and tears fell against my will. My nails dug into his hips as I silently begged for him to slow down.

He was moaning my name, more than he ever had before, completely lost in the pleasure of torturing my throat. He looked fucking amazing, I had to give him that much, even if I hated what he was doing to me. I loved the way his hair was coming undone from the gel he used, the way his dress shirt lay open and his tie dangled above me like an invitation. The way his thighs stretched out his dress pants was a dream and I wanted to touch every part of him. I reached for the thinner end of his tie, pulling roughly so it zipped up to his throat. He lurched back at the sudden pressure and looked down at me. He must have seen my fucked up state because he pulled out, leaving me grossed out by the messy spit that connected us still.

"Fu-fucker. That hurt” I croaked.

He pulled off me completely before lifting me up to sit in his lap. He wiped away my tears and I buried my face in his neck, clutching onto his vest. He kissed at my cheek, pulling me away from hiding. “You ok?”

I sniffled and nodded. He worked his hands over my sides and hips trying to soothe me more. Of course he couldn’t help himself and gripped my ass tight which made me laugh just a bit. “I’ve never done that before…”

“Really?” He asked, surprised.

“Ok, I’m a hoe but like there are some things I haven’t done before. You have to remember you dick is huge, dude. I’m small.”

He gave me soft tender kisses and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know, princess. I’m sorry. But don’t think you’re getting away with this shit either.”

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. “I stand by the fact that I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Hmm.” Was all he said before he tossed me face down onto the bed. I looked back at him as he discarded the rest of his clothes, dangerously holding his tie in his hand. He mounted me, as I was completely his to take and wrapped the loop of the tie around my wrists, pulling tight. “You like this don’t you?” It was supposed to be a command but I could tell it was mostly an uneasy question and he needed permission to continue.

I nodded and smiled at him. “I like it a lot, daddy.” I gave him a quick kiss sealing my consent. I threw out my rule of not using our titles with one another since he couldn’t actually communicate but in this moment I need him to know that I was his to command and I was giving him as much power as I would allow.

He wrapped the length tie around his fist, keeping a firm hold on it. His other hand jerked my hips up while his knee nudged my legs apart as far as they could go. My ass was raised, arms outstretched, and my body was trembling with excitement. His first thrust was swift and hard. I could hear his hips snap against me and I was barely able to hold myself up in that moment. My arms shook weakly and I dug my fingers into the sheets as my mouth curved into a silent moan. He was almost too deep for me to handle and every slam into me seemed harsher than the last. I couldn’t really keep up. It was overpowering and I wanted to scream my pleasure into the tiny room though I could barely even mumble a word.

My fingers curled as I tried to send tension to my arms instead of my weakening legs. It was useless though and I could feel my stomach tightening. He landed a slap to my ass just as I tried to pull away from him and regroup. I hissed and bowed my head, breathing out his title again. Suddenly, my phone buzzed by my head, the screen lighting up and distracting me. I turned to see who it was and winced. This was the worst time for him to call.

Johnny pressed my head into the mattress and sped up his brutal thrusts. “Why don’t you answer it, Eri? Let him hear how good you’re getting fucked. Tell him who’s really your boyfriend.”

I opened my mouth to say anything but all that came out we’re soft croaks. I panicked when I saw him reach for my phone and I struggled to move to try and block him. “D-dont, please don’t.” I was finally able to say. He let go of his grip on the tie wrapped around my wrists and instead set it around my neck. The call disappeared much to my relief.

“What a shame Eri. Let’s see if he calls back or if he took the fucking hint.” I swallowed hard and nodded, biting into my lip to try and still my moans. He quickly latched his teeth into my neck, sucking deeply like he always did when he wanted to mark me. “Stay on all fours, got it?”

I propped myself back to my elbows as he forced my thighs to rest on the outside of his. I could hear his moan of satisfaction at the sight of me splayed open with his cock stuffed inside me. I wanted to shy away and hide but he wouldn’t let me of course. He resumed his grip on the tie, pulling it taught around my neck and constricting my air flow. My eyelids fluttered and i wondered if this was heaven. Jesus, it felt so amazing even if every muscle in my body felt like it was burning and my insides were a scrambled mess. While he made my back dip by pulling my neck by the tie I felt his other hand slid down from my hips to my wetness, flowing over my clit. I was grateful for the extra attention and wiggled my hips to rock back against him and dive further into his fingers.

His finger started to trail from my clit to dance around my gaping entrance and just like before he pressed the long digit in little by little until it was almost as deep as his cock. I pleaded for him to stop, it was too much, too overwhelming for my overly sensitive walls but he kept working away at my torturous pleasure. That, coupled with his thickness, made the tendons in my legs strain as bliss shot through me. My moans mixed in with my strangled pants as he dared to press a second finger into me.“J-johnny!!” I rasped. “It’s too much!!”

He pressed his body weight harder against me, keeping me pinned so I would have no way from escaping the overstretching. “You’re not going anywhere.” He whispered harshly in my ear, making me shudder. He curled his finger then, the pressure of his knuckles against his cock, and the sliding of his rings against my heated walls made me clench meekly around him. Johnny enjoyed seeing me writhe beneath him, seeing me try and focus on being a good brat when in reality I was starting to unravel into a brainless mess. Nothing had a hold on my attention like the buildup he was creating inside me. I could barely process the words he was saying to me with how fuzzy my senses were. He curled his fingers deeper getting right to the root of my pleasure. The head of his cock was edging as far as it could go within me, his fingers pressed into the perfect spot, and his thumb brought back smalls swipes and circles against my clit. It was a haphazard clusterfuck of intense sensations that all culminated into a harsh orgasm that sent my mind reeling. It felt like my cum rushed out of me, painting my thighs with a deep warmth that was astounding.

I squeezed my eyes shut as my entire frame trembled. My muscles seized, tensed, and finally gave out. I fell forwards, collapsing onto the bed in a breathless heap. My lower half practically felt numb and I tried to concentrate on not passing out. It wasn’t just the physical fatigue, the mental and emotional fatigue of the entire day weighed on me in that moment. My few seconds of recuperation was cut short when Johnny pulled his fingers out of me. I felt another gush then, making me a bit confused as to how wet I really was. It definitely felt different and I could hear Johnny make some remark though his words weren’t registering. He said something else and I nodded weakly, agreeing to whatever he had posed just for me to have the ability to relax soon.

But that was definitely wishful thinking. He yanked me almost to the edge of the bed and continued his brutal fucking. I let him grip onto the back of my thighs as he huffed out growls and moans. He was swelling inside me, making me wince yet encourage him with mumbles that I thought were words. His fingertips dug into me harder and that sweet heat spread throughout my body again. I smiled and relished in the feeling of him pumping into me, slower and slower, until he milked himself completely. I laid there, unmoving and enjoying the way he felt inside me like I always did until I i lost myself in sleep.

–*

Johnny’s POV

I felt her move beneath me and there was a stickiness and sweatiness between us. I groaned as I didn’t really want to move but I needed to break away and get some air. My hand was over hers, my body curled around her, and my cock of course still inside her. It was almost perfect save for the giant wet spot we were forced to lay in because she squirted everywhere. We had both fallen asleep almost immediately after and i just adjusted her in the bed for me to have enough room to spoon her. Now everything made me feel like I needed an hour long shower. I rolled away, letting go of her hand and putting my forearm over my eyes to block out the bright light of the room. How long were we even asleep for?

She mumbled something and groaned, blinking a few times before fully looking at me. “Hey.” She sounded like she had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day for the past 40 years and I cringed at my handiwork. She tried clearing her throat but opted that it was too sore and winced in pain.

“Hey…maybe you shouldn’t talk…” She glared at me and I shuffled a bit away so she wouldn’t attack me.

“I feel gross. Why is everything wet? What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened? We fucked?”

“No, no, I know that. But I was so tired at the end-” She paused to rub at her throat. “I felt like half asleep. It was good though but I was worn out.” She laughed softly.

“Well, you’re welcome for that but like…do you even remember your orgasm?”

She nodded quickly, her smile beaming. “Oh yeah.”

“You squirted everywhere and basically we’ve been laying in the soaked sheets because we’re dumb as fuck.”

“Wait…squirted? No, i can’t do that. I’ve never done that.”

“What do you mean you cant do that? You literally did. Twice. The first time when you had your big one and then when i pulled my fingers out. It was like…not how they make it out to be in porn. Like not some weird super soaker spray but like-”

She held her hand up to stop me. “Please don’t describe it any further. I just…holy shit.”

I pulled out of her slowly, never getting used to that amazing feeling. It got me every time. It also sent my cum dripping out of her which was almost as good of a sight as her squirting. “Fuck…”

She wiggled a bit, a look of discomfort on her face. “What the hell?”

“We’ll now we got my cum on the sheets…” I said, partially annoyed. We really had to get them off this bed.

“DID YOU CUM IN ME AGAIN?!”

Her yelling caught me off guard. “Yes? I asked you this time and you agreed!”

“When?!”

“What do you mean when!?”

“I’m sorry if I was too fucked out and tired to freakin’ listen to you blab during sex! But you can’t be doing that! It freaks me out!!!”

“Hey, i asked to cash in my favor and you definitely said yes so I did it. It is not my fault.” I sat up slowly and inched my way to roll off the bed. “Come on. We need to get these off and I think I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Aren’t you worried at all?” She said softly.

“Me? Not really. I told you it’ll be alright. We’ve got everything covered.” It was a lie but I was blinded by how good it felt sexually and I also didn’t want to make her panic more than she already was. I told myself I’d stop after this one last time and not risk it anymore. She didn’t move and I could tell she was overthinking again. I went over to her and scooped her into my arms, holding her bridal style. “I��ll have you get the shower started while I take care of the bed. She held onto my neck and buried her face in my chest as I walked her into the bathroom, gently setting her down in the tub. “You ok?”

“Y-yeah…” She reached up and pulled me in for a kiss that I held for a long time. It wasn’t deep or passionate but more so intimate and warm. I sighed and cupped her face.

“Go, ok? I’ll be right back.”

I pulled away from her which seemed to be getting harder and harder each time. Even if it was just back into the room it felt like a million miles away. I tore off the soaked sheets, glad that the comforter was still mostly dry, and tossed them in the corner of the room. I said a silent apology to housekeeping and hoped to all hell they wouldn’t look at it directly when they put it in the wash. I padded back to the bathroom and slipped in behind her.

“Turn around.” She said and I gave her a questioning look. She sucked her teeth. “I was just about to get the…stuff out.”

“Eri, i’ve literally seen you every which way. Do you really think I care how you look getting my cum out of you?”

“JUST DO IT.”

I sighed and turned around, picking up the little motel bar of soap and ripping off the plastic. I waited for her to finish, getting impatient about being in the cold spot. “Dude, hurry up.”

“THERE IS A LOT OK? You don’t cum like a normal human being!”

“Apparently neither do you, Splash Mountain.”

‘OH MY GOD. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.”

I snorted and looked back at her. “Can I please get under the water now? I’m freezing.”

She switched spots with me and I finally got under the hot stream, thankful to wash away a whole nights worth of sex. My time under the stream by myself didn’t last long as Eri snuggled up next to me, her hair a soaking mess of waves that framed her face and made her look like a painting of a goddess. “Too cold. I want to be next to you.”

“You big baby.” I joked and ruffled her hair. She pouted and poked at my stomach making me squirm away. Our antics made our shower way more fun than it should’ve been, mimicking the perfect time we had in the tub before I freaked out on her. It was almost like a do over and I was appreciative of that fact. Once we were done and dried we curled up, facing one another, under the comforter. And although we were both fatigued, we stood up for hours talking about shit I never even dreamed about knowing about her. By the time the sun rose I was able to realize that one thing was for sure. I was in love with her.

–

We thought everything would be fine after that, and it was between us, but on Eri’s side things seemed to hit the fan one after the other. Their grandpa, who was back on the island they were from, fell ill. Their mother didn’t let them have a say in anything and whisked them away, making them leave school and work behind. There was a looming threat that they could be fired or even lose their financial aid which worried them just as much as their grandpa’s health. Each night they were gone we would facetime just so I could see them. I missed having them beside me whenever I wanted and it wasn’t even about the sex anymore. I genuinely found that I liked talking to them. There was never any judgement and I started to understand why certain things were important to them. Now I had to be there for them and help them stay strong even though I knew they were crumbling.

I was laying on my side, my phone propped against the wall, as I watched them cry. There wasn’t much I could do, or even say, at this point but i remained on the video. They apologized over and over for crying so much but i reassured them that I didn’t care. They let me know that it was okay when I cried and I wanted them to know the same. “I miss you..” They hiccuped.

I sniffed and cleared my throat, swallowing my own emotions. “I miss you too…you know you have to be there. It’s going to be okay.”

“He’s gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking he’s going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I don’t know why they won’t just fuckin’ say it.”

“They’re scared, Eri. They’re losing one of their parents. It’s always going to be scary.”

“I know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. It’s driving me insane. Just look at him and say he’s going to die! He’s just going to die, Johnny. He’s going to…” They burst into another round of tears and buried their face into a pillow, muffling the heart wrenching sobs. I wish I could be there. I wish I could hold them so fucking tight and never let them go. It hurt me to see them like this.

“Baby, look at me, ok?” They moved their head up and wiped at their eyes. “When you come back here, i’ll be here for you ok? It’s going to be hard but I’ll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.”

I finally saw them crack a small smile which made me feel a little better. “I know…I-” Suddenly, someone burst into their room. I couldn’t make out who it was exactly as the video started to pixelate. They had a conversation that I couldn’t understand but seemed stressed. They grabbed their phone and finally the video came back into view. “I have to go. I-I’ll talk to you later, ok?!” Before I could even respond the video was cut off and I had my own disturbance burst into my room. I shot up in bed, looking at Jae who seemed to be distressed. Great, was everyone around me having issues at once?

“Dude, what the-” He held his cell phone out in his shaking hand and I could see a call from an unknown number going on. “What?” I asked, still confused.

“Talk. Talk now.”  was all he said.

I took the phone tentatively and held it to my ear. My body went into shock as soon as I heard the voice that had haunted me for weeks on end. The voice that made my skin crawl and make me want to vomit. What she said next drenched my blood run cold.

“Johnny, I’m pregnant.”

#johnny #johnny fanfic #johnny smut #johnny suh #johnny seo #nct #nct 127 fanfic #johnny nct #nct 127 fanfiction #nct 127 #nct smut #nct 127 smut

[lesbianrobin]

Im dying to know, do you have any holiday-themed Steve, Robin, Party, etc. headcanons?

god you KNOW i do!!! first of all i celebrate christmas and i dont rly know anything about other holidays this time of year so im just gonna... work on the assumption that they all celebrate christmas, but if anyone who doesnt celebrate or celebrates something else wants to reblog and add their own hcs i encourage it!!! okay this is gonna be so scattered but:

steve never really liked christmas very much. it was always just stressful and he hated having to spend time with his family and he always got like the most generic expensive boring gifts from his parents and it just wasn't really fun... the first christmas he really got into it was the christmas he spent with nancy and after they broke up, he was like oh christmas just fucking sucks!! but then...

that next christmas dustin invites him over for christmas eve and he brings a pie that he bought from the grocery store and claudia thanks him a million times and he wishes that he'd baked it himself so he didn't feel so guilty

dustin gives him a little baseball bat ornament and claudia is like "oh i thought you played basketball!" and steve is like "oh uh i do but i like baseball too :)" and he and dustin kinda smile at each other and steve ruffles his hair and they watch rudolph on tv and steve is like oh christmas.... is good......

speaking of dustin he always starts thinking about christmas gifts in like october but somehow ends up with absolutely nothing on december 20th and he has to run around in a panic finding gifts for the party

he drinks hot chocolate like a maniac... he doesnt drink water the entire month of december it's hot chocolate or it's nothing

hes one of those people who will say "come on it's christmas!!!" on like the tenth

lucas is one of those people who will say "no asshole it's december tenth"

lucas loves christmas!! he just thinks that it's a day and not a whole fucking month!!! he thinks anything before like december 15th is too much

the only thing he hates about christmas is that his parents always make him and erica pick out gifts for each other with no help from them... and since erica is an evil genius she always gets lucas the perfect gift just so she can hold it over his head for the entire year when he accidentally gets her a toy she already owns

she literally watches him open his present like >:) and lucas is pissed when it's this extremely specific action figure that he's wanted for a long time but he swears he never even mentioned it to anybody

and then he just sits there feeling like a stupid asshole as she unwraps a random doll that lucas figured she might like since its hair looks kind of sort of vaguely like erica's and she's like "thanks lucas :) i think i have this one already but it's sweet" and his parents are like "hey it's the thought that counts! erica see your brother knows what you like :)" and she's like "yeah :)" and then as soon as their parents aren't looking she sticks her tongue out at lucas and he sticks his out back at her

the sinclairs have such a disgustingly perfect christmas like they bake cookies together and shit it's adorable

speaking of adorable families the byers house is so full of love on christmas

almost all of the ornaments on their tree are handmade little crafts from when will and jonathan were younger and they buy tinsel at the dollar store and just go fucking ham with it their tree always looks like a hobby lobby threw up

growing up joyce would usually try to get them some things they need on christmas and then like one or two special things for each of them and she could never buy the fancy new toys that were in all the ads on tv and in magazines but she knows her boys.... jonathan got his first camera on christmas and it was from a secondhand store and kind of dinged up and definitely old as shit but he loved it..... will always got some new construction paper and crayons or markers so by the end of christmas day joyce would have new drawings to put up on the fridge or a new little ornament that he made for her.....

sometime in november jonathan would always be like "okay will i have a secret mission for you, you need to find out something mom needs that we could give her for christmas!" and will would be like "you have to say your mission should you choose to accept it" and jonathan would say "well i know you're gonna accept the mission" and will's like "jonathannnnn" and jonathan would be like "okay fine your mission should you choose to accept it" and will would be like >:) im a spy >:)

so little baby will would action roll around the house humming the mission impossible theme and peeking around walls at joyce and then after like a week he'd say "i think mom needs a stool she keeps jumping to try and reach stuff high up in the cabinets" and jonathan's like awesome thanks and he finds a cheap folding stool and some chocolates that he can afford with whatever money he has saved up and he has will wrap it because he figures it's like ten times cuter that way and joyce cries when she sees the little christmas card will put with the stool for her

i'm going way more in depth than i need to thvjdjcd but basically the byers house is all love man... so much love ..... they don't use colored lights anymore they only use the solid strands but they still have fun decorating together and will makes paper chains and stuff to hang up and i'm about to make myself cry

so!! this is getting super long fjvndmcmd

nancy is absolute dogshit at buying presents for people she's just terrible at it. she always just asks mike and holly and her parents what they want and buys exactly what they tell her and if they don't tell her anything then she has like a mental breakdown about it and panics and buys like. a flannel pajama gift set from the department store.

when she's dating steve he tells her not to worry about getting him anything which she takes at face value until her mom asks what she's giving steve like three days before christmas and then she starts panicking and she goes to a sporting goods store and just asks the first employee she sees what a teenage boy who plays basketball might like

steve can't tell if he should be like happy or vaguely offended that his girlfriend gave him like shoe deodorizers and a water bottle and socks for a sports team that he doesn't root for... she tried though and thats all he cares about

she and jonathan agree they'll exchange gifts but nothing over like MAX fifteen bucks which is easy she just finds a tape or a record she thinks he'll like and she's set (she spends a full hour in the music store and almost just gets a gift certificate for him but eventually she just says fuck it and picks some random shit she's never heard of and hopes he likes whatever it is)

mike on the other hand is actually like... insanely good at gift giving because he pays close attention to the people he cares about and he just like Knows if lucas or dustin or will is gonna like something

he just doesnt really buy into christmas all that much?? it's cool to get free stuff and eat cookies and all but he thinks people make it into a bigger deal than it should be

holly still believes in santa though so he likes seeing how excited she gets on christmas... it warms his cold tween boy heart.....

the first christmas he gets to spend with el he turns into a fucking christmas enthusiast and he makes her hot chocolate and gives her a tape full of christmas songs and he asks his mom for a bigger gift allowance because he has a GIRLFRIEND now and she's never- uh, THEY'VE never celebrated christmas TOGETHER so it has to be SPECIAL MOM!!!!

karen is like buddy calm down but it's so nice to see him excited about something again that she caves and gives him like forty bucks and tells him not to tell nancy or his dad

el and hopper christmas... i cannot go into detail or i WILL cry but hopper takes her with him to pick out their tree and she's so meticulous about it like examining all of them and he's just standing there in the cold freezing his ass off letting her do her thing because she's so excited that he doesn't have the heart to tell her they're basically all the same and to just hurry up and pick one

he gives her a lot of books... there are so many books under their ugly fucking tree because el picks one thats extremely crooked because she says it seems nice and hopper cant find any of his old decorations so they have to start from scratch...

el enlists the whole party for help finding hopper a present because it has to be the best present of all time!!!! they're like well what does he like and she's like uh tv.... coffee.... gun...... and they're like uh we can get him a coffee mug?

so on christmas morning el presents him with a "BEST DAD" mug full of candy and he hugs her so she won't see that he's fucking crying

she also gives max a drawing she did of max as wonder woman and it isn't very good but max says it's her favorite present she's ever gotten and she keeps it folded up in her nightstand

max has mixed feelings about christmas

i should not have saved her for last this is depressing

fuck her family fuck all of that okay max spends christmas eve with the sinclairs and christmas day with el because her mom and neil don't really feel like celebrating this year and so for the first time in a long time her christmas is full of love and joy and hopper makes them cinnamon rolls for breakfast which el has never had before and it's great

the party usually does a big gift swap and they don't get each other anything too fancy or expensive but it's sweet... they all gather in mike's basement like the day after christmas and eat the leftovers from the wheelers' christmas dinner and give each other comics and action figures and dice

once robin enters the picture she and steve lowkey get smashed on christmas eve together off peppermint schnapps and they play rockin around the christmas tree like ten times and jump around until they get dizzy...

they give each other little things like every other day leading up to christmas so by the end of december they've exchanged gifts like ten times but it isn't their FAULT okay!!! steve just saw these earrings and thought of her so he got them... and robin couldn't just leave that wham! crop top sitting in the store...... and steve couldn't resist the cheap bff necklaces he found while looking for a gift for erica....... and what is robin meant to do, ignore the stuffed kermit doll she saw in a store window?

it's just unrealistic

i like to think that everybody gathers at the byers house for lunch or dinner on christmas eve... they just hang out and exchange presents and make cookies and watch christmas movies and argue over which ones suck and which ones are actually good...... they just spend time together without any fear or danger and it's good

#stranger things #christmas #god this is so long gifmcmdj #em talks #asks #long post #define-lying

[hillerskas]

20 & 2 from the fluff list! 💕

2. “aw, you’re so cute.” 20. “i’m not playing truth or dare.”

Despite the clouds threatening to burst any moment, Mika had still insisted they stick to their flatshare-bonding-day-out plans.

‘Lucas, we’ve been planning this for weeks, you can’t back out now.’

So Lucas has found himself squished between Manon and Mika at the back of a bus, covering his ears as they loudly discuss the last episode of a show they’d been binge watching over the weekend. He lolls his head back against the seat and shuts his eyes. If he’s honest, he’s still a little hungover from the night before.

‘If you’re going to mope all day, I’ll just throw you off the bus now,’ Mika finally directs at him.

Lucas heaves out a sigh and slumps forward, resting his elbows on his knees. ‘How come Lisa got out of this?’

‘Because she clearly needs her beauty sleep,’ Mika replies. Manon reaches over to slap Mika’s chest with the back of her hand. She leans back again and brushes a strand of hair out of Lucas’ eyes. He softens under the gesture.

‘This is gonna be fun,’ Manon insists. ‘Hey, I’ll even win you a stuffed toy.’

‘Not if I win you one first.’

Manon beams and holds out her hand for Lucas to shake. ‘Deal.’

***

The string of lights pinned along the roof at the entrance of the pier flicker ominously under the cloud cover. Lucas takes note that more than half of the bulbs had exploded and the rest looked to be on their way out shortly.

The gloom follows him into the arcade. It’s all dark and glimpses of harsh neon, children screaming and coins rustling. Lucas absentmindedly runs his fingertips along the rim of a grabber machine and drags his feet as he trails behind Mika and Manon.

‘Lucas, there’s a carousel outside!’ Mika says, grabbing onto Lucas’ upper arm.

‘I’m not going on it.’

Mika reels back over-dramatically and fixes him with a glare. ‘And why ever not?’

Lucas doesn’t exactly want to tell him he gets motion sickness on a damn kid’s ride, so he searches his brain for a different excuse. ‘I just don’t want to.’ Solid.

‘He’s worried the horses will be prettier than him,’ Manon coos. He scoffs and ruffles her hair.

‘Finally someone gets it.’

‘Well, fine. You can hang back here then, Gorgeous, Manon and I are going on it before it starts raining.’

Lucas watches as Mika drags Manon by the hand through the arcade. He sighs again and scans over the different technicolour equipment.

It kind of makes his head hurt, all the bright lights and oppressive air. He uselessly wiggles a joystick on one of the grabber machines and then moves on, already feeling boredom creeping in without Mika’s high energy to distract him.

And then he sees him.

It could be something to do with the beanie on his head. Maybe it’s the leather jacket with slender hands firmly tucked away in the pockets. Maybe it’s the flashing neon lights from the pinball machine flicking across the planes of his face. Lucas has to go over.

He hovers to the right of the man, raking his eyes over his profile, yet still trying to be subtle about it. He’s staring at the glass casing intensely, his eye colour indiscernible.

‘You never really win anything with these,’ the stranger comments, unprompted. Lucas starts at the sound of his voice; he hadn’t even thought he’d noticed him.

He stares, wide-eyed, at the side of the man’s face as he sniffs and deftly slips a coin into the machine.

Ready?! a goofy, cartoonish voice yells, lights flashing aggressively. Lucas notes that the corner of the man’s mouth twitches, a barely-there smile. Lucas finds himself smiling along with him.

Let’s go!

He can imagine the flex of the man’s biceps under all that material as he jerks the handles roughly. He’d never thought of pinball as an art form before, but here he is, watching the intricacies of the man’s expressions as he plays in awe. A little crease between the brows- nice shot!- a quirk downwards of the lip- that was close!- a frustrated squint- better luck next time!

The machine coughs out one solitary token and it floats pathetically to the floor. He takes a deep breath.

‘I didn’t know someone could suck at pinball this badly.’ It’s out of his mouth in a light, breezy murmur.

‘Ha!’ He really pronounces it, a proper ha! ‘I’d like to see you beat me.’

Lucas draws his bottom lip in and raises his eyebrows. ‘Oh yeah?’

The man bathes Lucas in a sunshine grin and nods. A pause filled with teasing suspense. ‘But I bet you can’t.’

‘Move aside,’ Lucas laughs, almost tripping over his own feet as he slides past the guy to plant himself in front of the machine. He shoves his hand in his pocket and rummages around for a coin. A wrinkled old receipt falls out as he pulls out the money.

‘Ah, wait.’

Lucas is left completely stunned as the man wraps his slim fingers around his wrist and draws the coin towards his lips. Keeping eye contact with Lucas the entire time, he presses a slow, gentle kiss to the metal and then releases him. The man’s bright grin returns and he shrugs.

‘For luck; I think you have an unfair disadvantage considering I’m clearly the king of pinball.’

Lucas’ jaw clicks shut and he rolls his eyes. ‘You’re out of your mind.’

‘Maybe I am,’ he replies, voice husky.

Lucas purses his lips and then quietly starts the game.

Let’s go!

Lucas lets out a little involuntary grunt.

Yes!

Oh no! Better luck next time!

The descending 8-bit tune announces his failure, synthetic colours zipping up and down the glass before they settle back into demo mode.

‘I... suck worse than you,’ he huffs after a beat.

‘I didn’t dare say it,’ the man responds, lips then pressing together tightly to hide a smile.

Lucas feigns offence and crosses his arms, lightly kicking at the leg of the machine. ‘I’m better at Pac-Man. Rematch?’

‘Instead of a rematch-‘ he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an insanely long string of tickets, ‘-maybe we should go get our prize.’

‘That many tickets and your awful gaming skills...? Have you just been here for the last seven years?’

The man barks out a laugh and shakes his head. ‘I wish. No, see over there?’

He’s suddenly very close, breath falling against the back of Lucas’ neck and arm practically leaning on his shoulder as he points. Lucas swallows and lets his eyes wander. There’s a beaten up basketball hoop style game, all peeling paint and splintered wood. He’s even closer now.

‘If you knock on the side of the dispenser just right...’ Lucas goes crosseyed as the man dangles the tickets in front of him. The guy’s basically hugging him from behind at this point and Lucas wonders what it feels like to be able to breathe.

Suddenly, the man’s warmth is gone. When Lucas swivels around, he’s got this soft smile on his lips and his eyes seem to be drinking in every inch of Lucas’ face.

‘Wait here.’

He barely has time to blink before the man’s slipped out of sight behind the machine. Lucas picks at a loose thread on the cuff of his hoodie sleeve and bites the inside of his cheek. He can’t help but beam a little, an unfamiliar swirling feeling filling him up.

When the other man returns, he thrusts an overflowing cup of gummy worms under Lucas’ nose and waits for him to unravel one.

‘Thanks.’

‘What are you going to call yours?’

Lucas frowns and looks up at the other man. ‘What?’

He threads a red and orange worm through his fingers, considering it, before smirking. ‘I’m calling mine Eliott.’ He glances up at Lucas expectantly, and it takes Lucas a fair bit of time to catch on to what he’s really asking.

‘Lucas.’

‘Maybe this is sadistic,’ Eliott says, twirling the sweet in front of his eyes. ‘...Lucas.’

He attempts not to think about how smooth his name sounds when Eliott’s the one saying it.

Eliott’s whole face scrunches up as he rips the head off the gummy worm with his teeth.

‘Don’t strain yourself,’ Lucas says instead of you look adorable.

Eliott’s face stays screwed up. ‘I think these are stale.’

‘No? Confectionary at a pier? Stale?’

Eliott titters as he chews, watching Lucas’ mouth as he finally takes a bite. He grimaces and barely refrains from spitting it out.

‘Would you like to come for a walk with me, Lucas?’

He says it so softly, Lucas almost doesn’t catch it. He’s about to answer way too quickly with an emphatic yes, but he stops himself with a groan.

‘I can’t... my roommates are here with me, I cant leave them.’

Eliott remains unbothered, discarding the pot of candy on top of the pinball machine and grabbing Lucas’ hand instead. ‘Well, we can walk to the end of the pier, no?’

Lucas looks up at Eliott through his lashes and smiles, squeezing his fingers. ‘Lead the way.’

He’s shocked at himself, honestly, at how easily he allows himself to follow Eliott. But something about him draws Lucas in and he can’t seem to stop. They weave through the endless rows of arcade games, the soles of their shoes sticking to the soda soaked flooring. Lucas watches Eliott’s hat slip slightly, unruly brown hair daring to escape.

‘After you,’ Eliott says sunnily, dropping Lucas’ hand to hold the door open. He feels a little sore when Eliott doesn’t retake his hand, but he hastily buries the feeling.

It’s raining when they get outside. The wooden boards creak beneath them and the sound of the waves crashing below unsettles Lucas as much as it calms him.

Eliott guides them to the railings at the side of the boardwalk and rests his elbows on the cool metal, jerking his head slightly for Lucas to join him.

Lucas breathes in the salt air and tips his head back. He closes his eyes against the rain and barely flinches whenever a drop lands on his eyelids.

‘You look very peaceful.’

His eyes snap open and a blush threatens to spread across his cheekbones. Lucas dips his head- chin against chest- and grips the rail until his knuckles go white. ‘I like the rain.’

‘Me too,’ Eliott whispers.

Lucas closes his eyes again and smiles leisurely before turning around so his lower back’s pressed against the railing instead. Slowly, Eliott mirrors him. Their fingers almost touch again.

They silently watch the carousel across from them spin, a slightly distorted lullaby playing. Thankfully, Manon and Mika seem to have moved on, most likely inside hiding from the gentle downpour. Lucas isn’t sure how he would have coped if Mika had been given the chance to grill Eliott, nor with the aftermath back at the apartment.

‘Your eyes are the same colour as the sea,’ Eliott says matter-of-factly, breaking through the melody of the waves.

Lucas coughs and pulls his damp hoodie sleeves over his hands. ‘Yeah?’

Eliott tilts his head down, trying to catch Lucas’ gaze. ‘Hmm...’

Lucas eventually glances up. Eliott’s eyes are grey, possibly blue. ‘What?’

‘No, I think they’re prettier than the sea.’

‘That’s-‘ He cuts himself off, attempting to school his tone. Eliott doesn’t need to know his cheesy comment made him this flustered. ‘I-‘

‘Aw, you’re so cute.’

Too late.

Lucas slaps his covered hands over his face and huffs into the fabric. ‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘You could tell me my eyes look like rocks and then we can laugh and move on.’

Lucas slowly draws his hands away from his face and stares at Eliott, mouth hanging open in what he can just tell is probably a pretty unattractive smile. There’s definitely a glimmer of amusement on Eliott’s features, but other than that Lucas can’t quite read him. He presses his elbow against Eliott’s and then moves his gaze back to the carousel.

‘Your eyes don’t look like rocks.’

Eliott laughs through his nose and cautiously leans into Lucas’ touch. Another silence settles between them, but it’s not uncomfortable. Lucas feels like he’s burning from the inside out, Eliott’s voice bouncing around his head. He’d really called him cute.

‘Your hair’s getting wet.’

‘Do I look like I care about my hair?’ Lucas grumbles without missing a beat, even as he reaches to pull his hood up.

‘Truth: do you care about your hair?’

Lucas side-eyes Eliott. ‘I’m not playing truth or dare.’

‘Okay...’ He squints over at the carousel for a moment before snickering under his breath. ‘Forfeit... I dare you to tell me something you do care about.’

Lucas stares openly at the side of Eliott’s face. He’s got this big, triumphant grin on his lips but his eyes are still on the ride. ‘Have you ever played truth or dare before? You can’t just dare me to tell you a truth.’

‘Loophole,’ Eliott says with a shrug. He moves his head to the side and peers at Lucas with a more muted half-grin. ‘So? You’re playing now?’

He exhales slowly, amused. ‘I think you’re cheating.’

‘It’s made you smile though. Worth it.’

‘Fine!’ Lucas concedes, wrapping his arms around his midsection. ‘I care about...’

Eliott waits patiently for his response, one eyebrow lifted.

Lucas pouts and moves the tip of his shoe side to side, following the wood grains below his feet.

‘My friends?’

‘Your friends,’ Eliott repeats with a slow nod.

Lucas sighs and looks at him again. ‘What’s wrong with that?’

‘Nothing.’ He raises his hands in placation.

‘Were you expecting something more profound?’ Lucas teases.

‘Possibly,’ Eliott hums. Lucas jostles him with his elbow. ‘It’s your turn.’

‘Which rules are we using? The actual ones or your made up ones?’

Eliott’s eyes crinkle when he beams. ‘Obviously mine are better.’

‘Alright...’ He searches his brain for a question. For some reason there’s a nervous buzz running through his body and the air’s shifted. The rain picks up. He drops it. ‘I have two options for you.’

‘That wasn’t one of my rules,’ Eliott throws back.

‘Shut up,’ Lucas laughs, hugging himself tighter. ‘Truth: do you want to go back inside? Or, I dare you to take me inside.’

Eliott lets out a beautiful chuckle in response and Lucas forgets for a second about the cold. ‘I’ll take you back inside after my turn, I promise.’

‘I need to start writing these new rules down,’ Lucas mumbles.

Eliott grins and pushes himself off the railing. He moves to stand in front of Lucas, and from his still slouched position, the other man towers over him.

‘Lucas... Martin?’

Lucas titters and shakes his head. ‘What?’

‘From the look on your face I’m guessing that’s not your surname.’

‘It’s Lallemant,’ Lucas replies, rolling his eyes fondly.

Eliott nods and clears his throat. ‘I was close.’

‘Very close,’ Lucas says through a smile.

Eliott composes himself, a serious expression on his face. Lucas can see the mirth in his eyes though. ‘Lucas Lallemant, I dare you to make this a date.’

All the breath gets sucked out of him and he’s suddenly very appreciative of the sturdy pole behind him holding him up.

He looks down. Then up. Breathes in. Then speaks.

‘Give me your hand.’

#elu #elu fic #skam france fic #skamfr fic #eliott x lucas #THIS TOOK SO LONG I’M SO SORRY #this is also prob not what you expected fhdjdj #thank you so much for the prompts i really enjoyed writing this ❤️ #huuuuge thanks to tess for helping me with this ❤️ #my stuff #softdemaury

[too-strange-for-earth]

Memories (3/?)

Parings: steve Harrington x reader, Jim hopper x daughter! reader, nancy wheeler x platonic! reader, Jonathon Byers x platonic! reader. (Future Billy Hargrove x reader)

Masterlist

Prompt list

(1)-(2)-(4)-(5)-(6)

(Y/n): your name

(Y/m/n): your middle name

(Y/e/c): your eye color

(Y/h/c): your hair color

tags: @bandsandanimefreak @fortheloveoflamp @naomiiiiiiiiiii04 @addictwithaheavydirtycheetah @daddyuwuss

warnings: language, bad writing, angst, fluff.

a/n: this was a bitch to type, I injured pinkie finger and it hurts to type. so, sorry if its a bit rushed and all over the place. I'm just trying to tie loose ends.

--

It was a normal morning some would say. Jim woke up in a cold sweat with a hangover that felt as if a boulder landed on him, Steve was passed out on the couch holding his deceased girlfriend's shirt while the family videos played and Eleven at Mikes still discussing their plan to find (y/n). 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHES ALIVE?! IF SHE WAS ALIVE I WOULD KNOW IT BY NOW! CAUSE STEVEN HARRINGTON CANT KEEP HIS DAMN MOUTH SHUT!” Dustin screamed throwing the board game on the floor, Max emidiatly hushed him. El was sitting around the table with her friends as the DnD board was on the floor, it was odd. Mike was trying to think about how it was possible, Will was trying to calm Dustin down from his outburst. 

“Will? Did you see her at all?” Lucas looked up finally removing his hands from his face. “N-No not at all. I didn't feel him near.” Will stammered. He felt guilty keeping this from his brother, what if she really was alive? 

--

Jim went to work angry, tired, and in need of a cigarette. There was no music on the drive there, and he just found out that he drank all the beer last night trying to figure out how this is possible.

“Wow, Jim. Who peed in your oatmeal this morning” one of the cops snickered as he sat down at his desk. He let out a long sigh, took off his hat, and started to go through any and all paperwork that dealt with Starcourt Mall and the Russians last year. 

He heard a knock on the door and saw Florence with a cup of water and an aspirin.  “thanks.” the cop mumbled as she set the two items down and sat across from him. “Jim, I haven't seen you this distraught since the Byers kid went missing. What's going on?” the woman asked with worry in her eyes. 

“It's about (Y/N) a few people around town are saying they saw her. I have to find out if it's true or some cruel joke. I swear if it’s some cruel joke I’m going to make those fuckers wish they didn’t come up with the idea.” Jim growled out, holding back tears as he glanced at the picture frame of his family. “If it helps any, you might want to talk to Joyce about this. The girl would do anything for you.” Florence smiled as she left the dark room, wishing for her friend to feel better.

Three hours later he finally found something. Three hours to find out there was a call about a lost girl. Three hours to go by some random strangers eyes from the town over. It wasn't a lot, and it probably wasn’t her, but if there was a chance that his daughter was alive he will try to find out.  “I'm taking the day off,” Hopper said leaving the building. 

--

Steve woke up crying, he thought that the events from yesterday were just a bad dream. He couldn't take it anymore he has to do something about this, he has to find her. He got into the car and drove to the Wheelers residence, it was a long shot trying to talk to Nancy, but if he knew El (and he practically knew everything at this point) she would be with MIke. 

Before he could even ring the doorbell Nancy opened the front door. “Steve?! What the hell are you doing here?!” she exclaimed. Ever since (Y/n) left the two didn't speak unless forced to; it wasn't that they hated each other. It was more like they couldn't look at each other without being reminded of her. “Is Mike here,” Steve said as Nancy moved out of the way to let him in.

“uhh yeah, he’s in the basement. Why?” She was more confused than ever. If Steve is here to talk to Mike then that meant two things, El was in trouble with Hopper or that the Demogorgon was back; and she was really hoping it wasn't the latter. “DnD business Nance.” Steve didn't technically lie, but it also wasn't the truth. “okay?” she didn't bother to ask about it any further. When steve became short with his answers she knew that there was no chance to get anything out of him. When she turned back to the door she saw the flash of (y/n)’s (y/e/c) eyes. “Shit”

--

He ran down the stairs, keys still in hand, to see the party including Robin sitting on the floor in deep thought. “So I'm guessing El told you.” Everyone jumped hearing his voice. “what the fuck man! You didn't bother to radio it in?!” Dustin ran over to the young adult. (Y/N) was like an older sister to the teenagers, always there to give advice, watch a movie, or even rant or cry on her shoulder. But she had an especially close bond with Dustin, Mike, Will, and El.

“And let whoever listen in? ‘Oh yeah, guess what guys! My dead girlfriend isn't dead after all! No, in fact, she's in Hawkins and I think I'm going crazy and her Dad is mad at me cause I probably pulled her into this fucking mess!’ NO! I'm not going to do that Dustin!” Steve all but calmy said running a hand through his already tousled hair. everyone stopped moving and started to look behind Steve. “What is it now,” Steve exclaimed turning around. 

Everything went silent, all breathing stopped. Steve couldn't believe it, he dropped his keys and walked cautiously towards the stairs. “(Y/N)?”

--

Hopper arrived at Joyce's house to see the door open. He put his hand over his gun and walked forward. “Joyce?” He asked as he stepped through the door, everything was still in place except for Wills drawings all over the table. “In here Jim!” a sigh of relief left his lips as he walked towards her room to see her on the phone. 

“yeah... okay thanks, Nancy.” Joyce hung up the phone and looked at Hopper, his eyes full of worry as she waled to him. “She's alive, and at Mikes.” Hopper let out a shaky laugh and pulled the woman into a hug. “I knew it, Joyce. I fucking knew it.” They stayed like that for a good five minutes until they decided to go to Mikes and Nancy's. 

Usually, it would take ten to fifteen minutes to the Wheelers, but Hopper wasn't going to waste another minute away from his daughter. One year too long.

--

Five minutes. That is how long it took for hugs to be passed around and for Hopper to bust down the door and run to the basement. “(Y/N) (Y/M/N) HOPPER! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! ONE YEAR (Y/N) (Y/M/N)! ONE LONG FUCKING YEAR!” It wasn’t a shock to hear Hopper yell, but the fact that he used her middle name made it otherwise.

He noticed a few new scars over her body, some cuts on her face, as well as some bruises here and there. She didn’t deserve any of this, she didn’t do anything wrong to be harmed.

“You’re telling me” she smiled softly, looking at her father. He opened his arms as she crashed into him. A hug well needed and well deserved. Everyone ignored the fact that if she were alive than something might be alive as well.

(Part 4)

#kinda wanna die #but its ok #soooo here it is #memories #steve harrington x reader #dustin and steve #steve harrington #jim hopper x reader #jim hopper #billy hargove x reader #billy hargove fluff #nancy wheeler x jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler x reader #jonathan byers x reader #jonathan byers #memories 3