#more than almost any other fear? that someone will think you were stupid or angry or vengeful instead if whatever the actual thought | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

grossditz · 6 months

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hii idk if it’s weird but can you write like gyuvin as a stalker and he forces you to do it with him…!! ahh idkkk

pairings｜kim gyuvin x f!reader

wc｜1.9k

warnings ｜ dom!gyuvin，sub!reader，stalker gyuvin，delusional gyuvin，noncon，dubcon，kissing，choking，gyuvin is really manipulative，groping，crying，nipple play，breeding，gyuv calls you dolly + baby，unprotected sex，dumbification，reader kinda goes braindead

an｜not weird at all love ☁️☁️☁️ i'm so sorry this took me so long but i hope you enjoy and visit back soon !!!

it was too hard to swallow the lump in your throat. heart hammering against your chest while you pressed your ear to your apartment door, suddenly angry you forgot to talk to the landlord about providing peepholes.

this was so childish. you were too old to be scared of little creaks of doors, but you were and you couldn't shake it. something— someone has been watching you for weeks now.

paranoia had become your best friend. checking if doors were locked every ten minutes, counting the amount of steps it takes to get from your office to the comfort of your home, avoiding standing near any windows, afraid if you were too close, too aware, that someone would be standing there. your life hasn't been in ease for weeks. finally hearing the quiet knock on your front door at two am reassured you more than it should've. you weren't crazy. you knew this whole time. but now that whoever it is has the advantage to get to you surely made that reassurance turn to fear. mumbling, "what am i gonna do...?" pacing around the area, as if he can't hear you.

"come on dolly. let me in."

gyuvin could make out any of your sudden movements. quivering voice breaking into long heaves of breaths the longer he jiggled around your door knob. he could already imagine the frown on your face, pretty cheeks wet and hot. finally, after weeks he could have you. "I can tell you’re inside, you forgot to turn the lights off baby.”

the sound of one of your quiet sobs from the other side of the door made his heart hurt. broke it down into pieces the longer the sobbing went on. why were you crying ? why were you so afraid ? It was only him, the man you’ve been seeing for almost a year.

"please leave me alone." your whole body is shaking, trembling hands forcing the door shut. not knowing who exactly was outside made your face darken. you were beyond scared.

"don't wanna hurt you," he tilted his head, though you couldn't see him. his whole demeanor, as if hes not harassing a stranger right now, was filled with too much calmness. “please let me in pretty.”

your eyes were teary and full. there weren't any words in your mouth, finding it extremely hard to think of anything but whats going to happen. and as your sobs went more silent, so did he. and for a while there was a deep silence where you could only hear him breathing behind the door. as quietly as possible, you reached for the house phone, and slowly started moving your shaky fingers tapping the numbers, heart out of your chest. this was eerie. he was too silent.

"no one will come. who would listen to you the way you've been acting recently?" you froze, your finger hovering the last number. "its past two. theres no one but us.”

the sobs escaping your lips in a broken rhythm again made him feel like the walls were caving in. he hated how in pain you sounded. pressing his forehead to the door, he whispered in a honey-coated voice, closing his eyes. "listen to me baby. put the phone down and open the door. i told you, i won't hurt you."

his words were too easy to get addicted to. so well spoken and articulate, slipping into your brain like a virus. slowly you put down the phone, rising to your feet. "If I let you in, you promise you’ll take what you want and leave?" your little voice inquired with such insecurity, making his lips stretch into a small smile. "I promise.”

you were too stupid to believe a stranger. unlocking the door and stumbling back onto the couch. soon, like a wounded puppy, you started appearing in gyuvin's view. pretty and angelic despite the way your lips burned red for how hard you'd been chewing.

"why so scared?" he made a step to approach you, chest now bumping into yours, forcing you deeper into the couch cushions. your eyes watered again, refusing to lift your head and look at him directly. "please... take anything.."

gyuvin smiled, a breathy laugh passing his lips. he caressed your cheek, cold fingers making you shiver more in his hold. his other hand slowly worked its way beside your head, trapping you. "didn't answer my question baby." you physically couldn't speak. voice knocked out from his overwhelming presence.

gripping your face and pulling you closer to him, gyuvin muttered, “why are you scared?” his words were punctuated, eyes serious and dark staring into yours. “i'm s–s–scared...” you responded. your mind was going numb looking at him, his cologne filling your senses making you hazy.

the same hand that held onto your chin trailed down your neck, meticulous and slow while gyuvin watched you, doe eyes staring into his, almost making him feel bad about what he wants to do to you. sighing deeply his hand attached to your throat, grip strong enough to make your eyes flutter. you couldn't stop the whimper from escaping your lips as he tilted his head, pressing the tip of his nose against your cheekbone.

“don't be. m' gonna take good care of you.” he whispered before pressing a kiss to your cheek. "i promised."

your body was so weak against his and the kisses he pressed up your jaw had your knees buckling, on the verge of begging him to do anything but touch you. his free hand wandered down to your waist, fingers slipping to grope your breast. "i'd never hurt a pretty girl like you."

nothing in your brain could comprehend the feelings that were forming inside of you when gyuvin ripped the front of your top, pulling it off in one movement. "baby... you don't seem so excited? don't you want this?" his voice was sickenly sweet yet his face visibly hardened when you scrunched up, eyes drifting to the ceiling. gyuvin didn't say or do anything. firm hands still holding you against him while silence filled the air again. then he was leaning in to kiss you. soft, slow and addicting. he kissed you until your lipgloss was rubbing off and latched onto his skin instead.

"pretty thing..." his words trailed, eyes looming over your body, "be good will you."

he was kissing you again. harsher, making you feel limp and unable to do anything but accept the fate you brought to yourself. he grunts against your mouth, hands traveling to your sides and pressing you further to him. you were so perfect, all he's ever dreamed of. all he wanted to do was pull shaky moans from you, mold you into his forever.

the next few minutes were intoxicating. gyuvin's grip suffocating you, his hands everywhere. and the next thing you know, his pants are hanging over your couch leg and hes tearing your panties, welcoming your bare skin onto his clothed one, marking you with his scent.

"all mine. no one can ever have you. my pretty doll, wanna ruin your precious face."

you whimpered on his lips, because he was flipping you over, now perched on his lap while his hands gripped your sides and started moving your naked cunt against the bulge in his boxers, your poor clit throbbing from the friction and dampening his underwear. "c'mon make a mess on me."

"i–i– no! st–op!” you clung to his shoulders, trying to gain more friction by rubbing your clit against him despite begging him to let you go. gyuvin swallowed a deep breath, a bruising hold on your skin as he leaned in to kiss you again.

"been waiting for this haven't you pretty? soaking right through me. you wanted this."

"gonna cum! please!" you screamed when his hands reached for your breasts to play with your nipples, lips wrapping around the bud. your back was arching, hands smashing down on his shoulder the closer you got to release. gyuvin thought your body was the prettiest thing he never deserved seeing, a sacred treasure. "cum on me. let me hear all the pretty sounds you can make baby.”

coming undone above him hit you heavy. throwing your head back, eyes rolling so far you could see the whites. so perfect you were. “please....” your voice meak and brittle as you came down from your orgasm. gyuvin placed a kiss on your left breast, right above your heart. "shh."

his entire being was consuming you. willingly subjecting yourself to him as prey, buttering yourself up for him with a single kiss. you convinced yourself you didn't want this, pawing at his chest, asking him to give you more while your eyes stayed zipped closed. he wasn't the one you wanted. you never wanted this. but still when he aligned his tip with your dripping entrance, you couldn't help the way your head fell victim, drooping onto his shoulder.

"fuck dolly," he cursed at the feeling of your tight walls squeezing him, forcing him inside. “pussy's been waiting for me? so tight and ready baby."

your insides swallowed him, as easily as you swallowed his useless promise. and with every thrust in you, the waves of repetition started dissolving you, crumbling you down. your hands were holding him as if you were not his anchor first, saving him from the darkness looping him in.

watching your bouncing breasts whilst you rode his cock, gyuvin didn't want to miss anything. afraid you'd disappear if he looks away once.

It was all too much, overwhelming all your senses and making your skin feel sticky.

too drunk in the feeling of your second orgasm coming right away, you only whimpered, hips stuttering above him. his hand flew to your neck, squeezing it like before. "you know you have to ask baby.“ you whine, starting to feel too lost, "use your words." the heat building up in your core began exploding with his hand choking you, the feeling in your gut controlling you like a puppet master.

"inside! please! cum inside!!"

"fuck baby i'll give you everything." he thrusted his heavy hard cock inside you, making you reach your high. “gonna fucking break you."

you were letting him use you like a ragdoll until he was gushing and pumping his thick cum into your womb. you felt so dumb, eyes already drifting closed on his shoulder.

gyuvin brought your head back up, looking you in your pretty droopy eyes. all fucked out just for him. intoxicated. "baby belongs to me right? gonna let me keep you all to myself? you promise?"

you nodded dumbly, drool seeping past your mouth and into his arm making a silly smile spread your newly captors face. pressing your bare chest to his, groaning at the feeling of your perky nipples against his torso.

"my good little girl. all mine.”

his words were soaked in underlying intentions. and you knew but you couldn't stop the way you were pressing deeper into his skin, merging all you had into him.

#gyuvin ୨୧ #zb1 smut #zerobaseone smut #zb1 hard hours #zerobaseone hard hours #zb1 hard thoughts #boys planet smut #kim gyuvin smut #gyuvin smut

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mint-yooxgi · 2 years

Text

{2} - Hotel California - Yandere!Demonic Entities!Ateez X Reader

Yandere AU & Demon AU - Based off of This ask and Hotel California by Eagles

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Slight Humor

Pairing: Ateez X Reader (Slight focus on Yeosang & Jongho this chapter)

Words: 9,536

Warnings: Mental Illness: talks of depression, suicide and suicidal thoughts. OC gets angry a lot. A mug gets thrown at someone’s head. Slut shaming, but not done by any of the guys. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Surprise bitches!!! Guess who’s back, back again!!! Early update for you all since I wanted to post it and I like where I ended it. Definitely expect more parts coming out, I have a lot planned for this, especially with little interactions between each of the guys and the OC in the future. Hehehe, I hope you enjoy!! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! I hope you look forward to the rest of whatever this series has to offer~

Main Story - Part Three

The first few days after that one fateful evening, you were a mess. Your mind was all over the place, yet at other times, completely silent. Any attempt to wrap your head around the situation you currently found yourself in resulted in either tears of hopelessness, of frustration, or you screaming your lungs out for them to let you go.

Then, came the silence. The deadly calm as the weight of the situation finally sunk in.

It happened only once, and the thought had only crossed your mind for a brief second, but it was enough to have all eight of them appearing in your room immediately. Worry was clear on all of their faces, but not only that, panic was as well. The thought of losing you, after finally having you with them after all this time, after all of their meticulous planning, had a fear unlike any other washing over them.

You had yelled at them then, screamed at them with a burning fire in your eyes as they crowded you. They needed to let you breathe. The constant checking up on you, asking if you were going to be okay was really grating on your nerves.

At least you knew they cared. At least what they told you, about only wanting what’s best for you, about wanting to love and cherish you all seemed to be true.

There was no doubt about it, not when San would bring you your favourite meals almost every day just to make sure you had eaten something. The first few times were a bit annoying, seeing as how he wouldn’t leave you alone until you had at least a few bites of food, but at least he knew you were eating.

Similarly, Mingi would always make sure you had a fresh jug of water in your room. Every day, he would make sure you drank at least two full glasses to keep yourself hydrated, making you whatever other drinks you wanted when you wanted them. Unless you were planning to get yourself drunk. Then he wouldn’t exactly comply with your wishes.

Jongho would offer to read to you to take your mind off of things, but you’ve still yet to accept his offer. He would pout, but place whatever book he brought with him on your nightstand, at least giving you something to do to take your mind off of things for a while. An escape, if only briefly, that would give you some semblance of normalcy after being thrown into a world unlike any other.

Yunho and Wooyoung would always attempt to cheer you up in any and every way they knew how. Their antics, unfortunately for you, would sometimes work, unable to stop yourself from cracking a small smile at their banter back and forth, or some stupid joke they would tell you in attempts to make you laugh.

Yeosang was probably the most respectful out of giving you the privacy you so desperately craved, except when you would start thinking about when you needed or wanted something. Then he would be the first one to appear with said item held in his hands, bringing you ice cream more often than not in the middle of the night when you were truly feeling sorry for yourself and the situation you found yourself in. He always lingered for a bit, silently hoping you would ask him to stay and comfort you, but you never did. Honestly, it was probably for the best, anyways. They all were probably the last people you really wanted to see at this point in time.

Still, you refused to so much as even look at Seonghwa or Hongjoong. Each time they passed by your room to check up on you, you would pointedly ignore them, curling in on yourself until they would sigh deeply and finally leave you alone.

Two weeks later, and you decide that you’ve had enough. Finally, it’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself, and take whatever control you can back of your own life. No more wasting your days alone, in the dark, with only self-pity to keep yourself company. If they truly intend to put their money where their mouths are, then you’re going to test that every chance you get. After all, if they are ready and willing to do anything and everything for you to prove to you how much they truly love and care for you, how much they want - need - you in their lives, then you’re going to make them prove themselves to you.

Perhaps you hold more power in this situation than you originally thought.

Letting out a sigh, you allow your mind to go blank, humming a small tune to yourself as you toss the covers off of your legs. First things first, you really need a bath. Perhaps some self-love and personal care will end up going a long way.

Sinking into the warmth of the frothing bubbles, you hum. Again, the calming scent of lilac and honey drifts through your nostrils, the water serving to relax your tense muscles and soothe your mind. You figure you’re going to need all the rest you can get in the next twenty or so minutes as you prepare yourself for what you’re about to do.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later and you’ve finished washing up, dried yourself off, and changed into a fresh pair of clothes. Briefly, you shoot a tense smile at yourself in the mirror, mentally preparing yourself for what you’re sure is going to be a shitstorm as soon as you step outside of your room.

Turning towards the door, you take a few cautious steps forward. Taking a deep breath, you turn the handle, exiting these four walls that you have familiarized yourself with over the past two weeks. Finally, after hiding yourself away for so long, wallowing in your own thoughts, you step outside the room, crossing the threshold into the hallway and feeling as if you’re stepping into a new life. Which, in reality, you are.

As soon as your foot enters the hallway, both Yeosang and Jongho are in front of you, Wooyoung following close behind. The three of them watch you carefully, worried that you might try to do something rash, like attempting to sprint past them and run for the exit again.

You tried it. Once. The first night when everything happened. They watched you sprint right past them, still wearing that gorgeous gown, and practically fling yourself out of the front doors. Only, as soon as you left through one door, it’s like you were entering back through the other.

A looping entrance. A simple spell, or rather, curse in your mind. Every time you attempted to run out of the front door, you found yourself sprinting back through the entrance, a frustrated look on your face as a feeling of hopelessness washed over you.

That was the final snap to your sanity which landed you in such a state of limbo for the past two weeks. You’re just glad you managed to pull yourself out of it.

When you meet their gaze, you make no sign of acknowledgement. They cannot hear any thoughts of you wanting to escape running through your head for the moment. The only thought they can hear, is a constant repeating of you wanting some coffee.

“Where-“ Jongho takes a step forwards before halting right in his tracks as you raise a hand to stop him.

“No.” Your pointer finger is raised as if to say ‘hold on a moment’, making sure to keep a safe distance away from all of them as you look into each of their eyes. “Just follow.”

As soon as you turn to start walking down the hallway, Mingi appears before you, a steaming cup of coffee held in his hands. Wordlessly, he hands it to you, and you meet his gaze for only a moment.

A curt nod is all he receives as you take the mug from his hands, sipping on the warm liquid. He swallows. At least it’s better than nothing.

What’s going on? Hongjoong’s voice echoes through all of their heads, a tinge of worry to his words.

We don’t know, but at least she’s out of her room. Yeosang replies, following silently behind you as you begin to lead them down the hallway.

She’s out of her room? San’s voice is full of excited disbelief, and they can hear the clanging of a pan falling onto the ground coming from the direction of the kitchen before he’s appearing right next to Wooyoung just as they breach the lobby.

Yunho is the next to appear, having been walking down the opposite hallway at the time, monitoring your thoughts as soon as this commotion started. Her mind is blank.

Should we be worried? Jongho’s fingers twitch, itching to pull you into his arms and ask you what’s wrong. A thought he knows is echoing through all of their minds this very second.

The last time her mind was blank, she stabbed Hongjoong with a knife. Seonghwa reminds them, appearing in the lobby in the next second, a swatch of fabric still clutched in his hands.

She also tried jumping off of her balcony. So, let’s not forget that, either. Wooyoung says, worry lacing his tone.

I don’t think I could forget that even if I tried. Mingi shivers, recalling the panic he felt seizing his entire body when he walked in for your daily glass of water consumption to see you with one leg already hitched up on the ledge of your balcony. He’s just lucky he caught you in time before you could hurt yourself. Not that you would have gotten very far, anyways.

Reaching the main desk, you turn back around to face them, leaning back on the counter with the mug held in your hands. As soon as you raise your head, Hongjoong appears before you. Though, this time, instead of averting your gaze like he’s become so used to these past two weeks, you meet his eyes, and the intensity that he sees shining in your own has a pleasant shiver running down his spine.

The eight men all stand around you in a semi-circle, giving you enough space so that you do not feel crowded by them. Starting from your left, Jongho stands, followed by Yeosang, San, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho, Wooyoung, and then Mingi.

A moment of silence settles over all of them as they stare at you, waiting patiently for you to speak. Some - San, Wooyoung, Jongho, and Mingi - even find themselves holding their breaths in anticipation. Not that any of them particularly need to breathe…

“We need to talk.” Your first words to all eight of them in weeks, and they can only blink at you in shock. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Your words seem to snap them out of whatever daze that they’re in.

“You know we can’t let you go.” It’s Yunho who says it, and they watch as you turn your gaze to him.

Your eyes flash, a fire igniting behind your irises as you take a deep breath in.

“Jesus fucking Christ, I know.” You watch as they all visibly flinch at your words, but you continue anyways. “For five minutes, I would like to not be reminded of my own helplessness right now. Thank you very much.”

This time, they grimace, having the audacity to look somewhat ashamed of themselves. At least, San, Jongho, and Mingi do.

“Look,” you sigh, bringing your one hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose. “I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself. I’m tired of feeling like I’m trapped here, and that I have nothing to do. More than all of that, I’m fucking tired of letting myself fall back into old habits. Bad habits. I do not need to go back to feeling exactly as I did during the darkest part of my life.”

They can all hear the way your breath hitches, voice straining with the emotion of your words.

“We didn’t know-“

“Of course you didn’t! You don’t know anything about me!” You cut Mingi off, your anger rolling off of you in waves as you glare at them. The mug of coffee is clutched so tightly in your hand that you’re surprised it doesn’t break. “Do you even know how I felt at the lowest point of my life?”

Even though the question is rhetorical, you can sense that they want to respond. You can just tell that, no, they do not know how you felt because they weren’t there. However, you bet the very air you breathe that they’re dying to figure it out. Probably about to probe your mind for those memories. Memories that are painted with the darkest parts of your soul; moments in which you felt the most empty, the least in control of your life.

“I know you all want to know, but it doesn’t work like that.” You say, shaking your head in disbelief. “You don’t get to shift through my memories whenever you damn well please. None of you deserve that privilege. None of you deserve to know me, especially not like that.”

“We just want to understand,” San reasons, a pleading look in his eyes.

“You want to understand?” You throw his words back at him with a voice of disbelief. “Fine.” You huff out a breath. “I can’t believe I’m doing this, but here’s a little glimpse into the second worst night of my life.”

It happens so suddenly, that all of them are inhaling sharply as images fill their heads. In an instant, each are overcome by the exact same emotions you felt - grief, anger, disappointment, loneliness - that their senses get overwhelmed. So much so, that Jongho, Wooyoung, and Yunho have to steady themselves on their feet as your memory washes over them.

And that wasn’t even your worst night.

Just as quickly as it started, the memory gets cuts off, all eight of their gazes fixating on you in a moment. You can just feel the way they’re looking at you right now, and you hate it. Especially when Yeosang, San, and Hongjoong all take a cautious step towards you, each wanting to comfort you in their own way.

“I didn’t do this for pity, and don’t any of you dare feel any gratitude for what I just showed you. You know nothing.” You resist the urge to slam the mug down on the front desk, opting to take a few deep breaths and gently place it on top of the counter instead. You turn back to face them with another deep sigh. “Look, if this is going to work, there are some things I need from you all. Do you understand?”

A light begins to shine behind their eyes, heartbeats increasing as hope floods through their veins. Even though you basically just told them not to, they all cannot help but to feel that you sharing that memory with them meant something. No matter how insignificant, you trusted them for a brief moment, and they sure as hell will not let it go to waste, nor will they ever forget this.

Is she saying what I think she’s saying right now? Wooyoung’s eager voice echoes through their minds.

“This doesn’t mean I’ve accepted this,” you motion around the general vicinity with your hand, narrowing your eyes slightly at the eight men before you, “or any of you. I simply have some conditions of my own so I don’t end up like that again.”

Mingi’s, San’s, Yunho’s, and Wooyoung’s shoulders all drop, while the other four do their best to look unaffected by your words. Still, it doesn’t mean they won’t try. It doesn’t mean that you haven’t just given them all hope.

“Anything,” Seonghwa breathes, clinging onto that piece of fabric in his hands for dear life.

Your one eyebrow twitches upwards, meeting gazes with him briefly, as you cross your arms in front of your chest. Leaning further back onto the counter, you nod to yourself.

“I want my phone back.”

You can practically see the protests building on their lips, so you cut them off before they get a chance to speak.

“Listen,” you begin, “you’ve said it yourselves: I’m in your domain. I don’t even know if there’s service here, and who the fuck would believe me if I told them about the situation I’m in. I’m pretty sure I’ve already lost my job for up and disappearing out of the blue, and I’m sure my family is probably worried sick about me. Let me contact them to tell them I’m okay, so they at least get closure for however long I’m going to be stuck here for. I don’t want my parents thinking I’m dead.”

“That’s all you want your phone for?” Yeosang asks, slight disbelief coating his words.

“Of course not.” You huff out a laugh. “I need some source of serotonin. I want my phone so I can do all the things I usually do on it. Minus a few things, of course. I need some sense of normalcy back in my life.”

“How do we know we can trust you?” Yunho speaks once more, crossing his own arms in front of his chest.

“That’s rich, considering I should be asking you that.” You match his tone. “Besides, I’m pretty sure you all can hear whatever I’m about to do through my thoughts, anyways. There is a severe lack of privacy there, but put it this way. How do you expect me to trust you if you can’t trust me? It’ll have to be an effort on all of our parts to make this work.”

There’s a hint of worry in your tone, the slightest bit of fear hinted at in the way your shoulders tense ever so slightly as you look at them. Even without your thoughts, they can see the uncertainty radiating off of you towards them. Truly, it pains them to no end.

“You know we would never hurt you,” Mingi says, his voice soft as it cuts through the tension suddenly filling the lobby.

“We promised that we would protect you,” Hongjoong adds, just as tenderly as he watches you with a gentle gaze.

Your eyes flash, “can you protect me from yourselves?”

Immediately, they all straighten, save for Seonghwa who takes a small step backwards as they all stare at you with wide eyes.

“We just told you that we would never hurt you.” Yeosang frowns.

“That’s not what I meant,” you shake your head. “There are many ways one can be hurt rather than just physical pain.” A thought flashes through your mind that has them all recoiling as if you’ve just mentally burned them. “Do you understand why I’ve been so terrified these past few weeks? I know nothing about who you are, or what you’re capable of. I bet you’ve only shown me the bare minimum of what each of you can do with these powers of yours. How do I know you’re all not just waiting for the prime opportunity to take advantage of me? How do I know I can trust you?”

“You think we would force ourselves on you?” Jongho’s voice comes out small, echoing the hurt and worry each of his brothers are feeling right this very moment.

Even though you say nothing, your gaze says it all. The uncertainty, the fear they can all see hiding within your eyes has their hearts feeling as if they are being suffocated. Never do they want you to think that they would do such a thing to you. Never do they want to have you look at them with such terror in your gaze again.

“Is this part of the reason why you’ve been hiding in your room this whole time?” Seonghwa voices, a hint of sadness tinging his words.

“We would never do such a thing.” Hongjoong states, eyes pleading for you to look at him, to see the sincerity shining in his gaze - in all of their gazes - but you refuse, averting your gaze to your feet. “Especially not to you.”

“I guess I’ll have to take your word for it.” Your lips tighten into a thin line as you give him a terse smile. “But if you ever break that promise, if any of you go back on your word,” you take the time to meet each of their eyes, squaring your shoulders as you do so to let them know how serious you are in this very moment, “I will never forgive you.”

None of them have to look into your mind to know the deadly truth that lingers in your words. The statement of fact that you have just uttered settles into their very core, echoing through their minds as they continue to stare at you, watching your every movement carefully as you take another shaky breath in.

Then, it’s as if a switch has flipped inside of you as you mentally tell yourself to calm down once more. You need to at least attempt to start trusting them, and they’ve given you no reason to think otherwise. Yet.

“So,” you raise a brow, “my phone.”

Immediately, Hongjoong makes your phone appear, holding it in his hand. Just as he goes to hand it back to you, he pulls it away and out of your reach. You frown.

“You can have your phone back on one condition.” He says.

“What?” You ask him expectantly.

“Change your lockscreen.”

You simply look at him, incredulously. Your mouth parts slightly in shock as a mental image of what you remember to be your lockscreen flashes in your mind. Like hell are you going to change your favourite photo of your favourite male idol who managed to help you through the darkest part of your life in his own way, even if he doesn’t know it. Of course, you do not fail to miss the way that all eight men tense around you, the jealousy clear on all of their faces.

You huff out a breath. “Do you really think you’re in any position to be telling me what I can and can’t do with my own belongings?”

“Then I guess you don’t want your phone back that badly, do you?” There’s a teasing lilt to his voice as he quirks a brow, his eyes shining with that tint of jealousy as he holds your phone just out of your reach.

“I could go back to completely ignoring your existence, if that’s what you want.” You deadpan, eyes narrowing as you watch him visibly stiffen at your words.

Only Seonghwa truly knows exactly what that feels like right alongside Hongjoong, so he offers the younger a comforting hand placed on his shoulder. Neither of them want to experience that again. They would rather spend twenty years in the arctic, buried beneath the snow than have you go back to pretending that they do not exist.

Though, Hongjoong cannot deny the sense of pleasure he experiences at knowing you can essentially go toe to toe with his remarks. Your wit truly is like no other. He loves that about you, he always has.

Wordlessly, he hands you your phone, and the relieved smile that paints your face makes it feel as if the whole room has just brightened. Truly, there is nothing like seeing you happy, and they will do anything and everything they can to please you, starting with this.

Tucking your dead phone into your back pocket for safe keeping, you lean back onto the counter, resting your palms against it for support.

“I also want my laptop back.” You say. “Same terms and conditions apply. Just let me have access to wifi again.”

This time, it’s Wooyoung who makes your laptop appear, holding it delicately in his hands as he passes it to you. Your lips quirk ever so slightly as you hug the piece of technology to your chest, mind already reeling with everything you need to catch up on.

“Okay,” you nod, unable to keep the relieved smile from tugging at your lips. “Okay. This is good.”

A small silence settles over all of you as they allow you to collect your thoughts. A tenseness that they didn’t realize they had all been holding in their bodies leaves them as they see you relax, even if only just the slightest. Faintly, grins tug at their lips.

Progress. They’re making progress.

“If I’m going to be living with you from now on,” you begin, “then I need to get some things from my apartment.”

“Whatever you need, we can grab for you.” Jongho says almost immediately after you finish talking.

“No,” you retort, shifting your laptop to your left arm and cradling it like you would a baby. “I need to grab some things from my own apartment. I don’t care if you come with me, but I need to get my clothes.”

“Again, just tell us what you need and we’ll get it for you,” Mingi repeats the youngest’s words from only a moment ago.

“Nuh-uh,” you shake your head. “There is no way I am letting eight men pick and choose my own clothing for me, let alone my underwear.”

You fail to see the way Wooyoung’s lips twitch upwards in nervousness as the sound of tearing fabric reaches your ears. Immediately, your attention is on the man standing just to Hongjoong’s left, now holding two torn strips of cloth in his hands.

“See what I mean,” you gesture to Seonghwa who stands there, his chest rising and falling dramatically as he clutches onto the fabric held in his hands for dear life. “Keep it in your pants, Handsy.”

Seonghwa’s scowl only deepens when he hears Wooyoung laugh, his eyes flashing as he looks towards his younger brother. “That’s rich, coming from the one who already stole a pair.”

A silence so deadly settles around the lobby as you stiffen, your breath hitching in your throat as Seonghwa’s words register in your ears. Slowly, almost robotically, you turn your head to the right, staring directly at Wooyoung with a tense smile on your face as you blink. “What?”

“So, clearly, neither of you are going with her to get her clothes,” Yunho sighs, shaking his head.

“Hang on,” you practically slam your laptop onto the desk behind you before circling your hands around each other in front of your body in a rewind motion, “can we just backtrack here for a second.” You turn once more to look at Wooyoung. “What did you do to my panties?”

Wooyoung sucks on the inside of his cheek, his eyes looking everywhere but at you for the time being, “I don’t think you want to know.”

An image of your ruined panties flits through all of their minds as Wooyoung recalls the very last activity he remembers doing with them. Almost immediately, the seven of them groan, Yunho smacking the younger upside the head as Wooyoung chuckles.

Again, you smile tensely, your eyes blank as you watch Wooyoung rub at the back of his head right where Yunho has just smacked him. Honestly, it’s freaking them out how you appear so calm, tilting your head slightly as your eyes close and your mind goes blank, that forced smile still tugging at your lips.

Before any of them can react, you grab your empty coffee mug from the desk and fling it at Wooyoung’s head. Luckily, he manages to dodge in time, the sound of ceramic shattering against the floor behind him breaking the tense silence.

“For fuck’s sake, don’t take things that don’t belong to you!” You shout. “Especially if they’re mine!”

“Do you want them back?” He offers, holding his hands upwards as a sign of defence against your rage.

“No! I most certainly do not want them back after whatever the hell you did to them!” You fume, an image of burning whatever pair of underwear he stole flitting through your mind. “This is what I mean when I say I want privacy. I don’t want to have to worry about any of my other things going missing because of you guys.”

“And they won’t.” Hongjoong promises, shooting a pointed look at Wooyoung who just narrows his eyes in response at his leader. He knows they all would have done the exact same thing as he did if given the chance. Hell, Seonghwa even told him to ‘save some for the rest of us’, if he recalls correctly.

“I sure as hell hope not.” You retort, another sigh falling from your lips.

“Some of us will take you to get your things, soon,” Mingi voices, cutting the tension in the air.

“Good,” you nod. “I’d appreciate it.”

Turning slightly, you grab your laptop from the desk and tuck it under your arm once more. You turn back to face them.

“I can take you after you put your laptop back in your room and plug your phone in to charge,” Yunho offers, yet again reading your mind.

You shoot him a look. “I am not going anywhere with you until you learn to stop doing that.”

“Then who-“

“I’ll go with them,” you cut San off with a motion of your hand, pointing at both Jongho and Yeosang using two of your fingers. “They can take me.”

Jongho stands there, momentarily stunned as all six of his remaining brothers turn to look at both him and Yeosang. The elder of the two is just as shocked as the youngest is, though he’s simply better at hiding it. Though, Yeosang cannot help the smug grin that tugs on his lips as he sees you turn away, his brothers glaring at him with jealousy clear in their eyes.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” you say without so much as sparing a glance over your shoulder. “Then we can go.”

True to your word, it only takes you two minutes to make your way back to the lobby. Though, now that you take a closer look, it appears more as a grandiose foyer than a hotel lobby. In the back of your mind, you begin to wonder just how extravagant they made this place. Perhaps you’ll have to go exploring when you get back.

“Ready when you are,” Yeosang smiles at you, waiting off to the side with Jongho standing right beside him.

A simple nod of your head is all he receives in response, noticing how the other six stand off to the side. You nearly let out a huff at the way both Yunho and San stand with their arms crossed in front of their chests. Wooyoung, Mingi, and Seonghwa all wear slight pouts on their faces, though at least the eldest is better at hiding it that the others. Still, there is no mistaking the classic downturn of his lips. The only one who remains an anomaly to you is Hongjoong.

There he stands, eyes transfixed on you as his hands are shoved into his pockets. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he almost looks unbothered. Only, you know that that isn’t the case. It’s moments like this where you wish you could read people’s minds just so that you could know what he’s thinking. Hongjoong smirks.

“Okay,” you say, turning back to the two men beside you. “Let’s go.”

You manage to take a few steps towards the front doors before you notice that they aren’t following you. You quirk a brow, seeing Jongho’s shoulders shaking in laughter.

“What are you doing?” Yeosang asks, having not moved a single inch.

“Heading to my car. What does it look like I’m doing?” You shoot him an incredulous look.

“Oh, no, we’re not taking a car.” Jongho says, closing the distance between the two of you in a few strides. “Hold on tight.”

“Wha-“ before you can even protest, he’s wrapping an arm around your waist and transporting the two of you to your apartment.

As soon as your living room comes into view, you’re stumbling out of his arms. Your head spins as you see Yeosang appear from thin air right before your very eyes. Blinking a few times, your one hand comes up to cradle the side of your head, nausea building in your chest.

“Fucking hell, Jongho, you can’t just do that to her for the first time,” Yeosang is immediately in front of you, helping to guide you into sitting down on your sofa. “She’s never jumped before.”

Concern is written all over Jongho’s face as he comes to kneel before you. Though, only Yeosang can hear how smug the youngest is right now. Of course he just had to be the first one to wrap you in his arms and transport you here. It’s not like Yeosang wanted to have that privilege, or anything.

“Are you okay?” Jongho asks softly as you notice Yeosang dart off into your kitchen, appearing not even thirty seconds later with a glass of water held in his hand.

“Yeah,” you brush him off, accepting the glass with a small nod in thanks before taking a sip. “Just a warning would be nice, next time.”

“I did tell you to hold on tight,” Jongho chuckles, receiving a smack upside the head from Yeosang. “Ow.”

“Do you want to freak her out again?” Yeosang reprimands, clicking his tongue as he shakes his head.

“Relax,” you shoot Yeosang a look. “I appreciate the concern, but I’m fine.”

Both males simply quirk their brows at you in response, Jongho getting back to his feet in the next moment.

“How did you even know where my apartment was, anyways?” You stare at them expectantly, the worst already flitting through your mind as you take another sip of water.

“I don’t think you’ll believe us when we say this is our first time stepping foot in your apartment.” Yeosang replies, casually making himself at home and sitting in the recliner closest to you on the couch.

Your eyebrows raise, placing your glass onto the side table. “Stepping foot in my apartment? What does that even mean?”

“It means,” Jongho begins with a giddy smile, sitting down on the sofa beside you and casually throwing an arm to rest behind you on the back of the couch, “we’ve never actually physically been here before.”

“How exactly does that work?” You stand, turning to face both men as you cross your arms in front of your chest. You do not fail to notice the way Jongho pouts as you do so, missing the fact that he just technically had his arm wrapped around your back, even if only for a brief moment.

“When you first summoned us, we could only appear near you through glass objects.” Yeosang explains.

“Summoned you?” Your head tilts, disbelief clear on your features. “When, and how the hell did I summon you?”

“October twenty-fourth.” Jongho recalls, smiling fondly as if the memory is the most pleasant one he has ever experienced in his life.

At your confused look, Yeosang speaks once more.

“You and that one friend of yours, Reina, decided to ‘read from a book of spells’ if I recall correctly.” Yeosang adds air quotes around that specific phrase, an amused quirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“No, it was Reina who read from the book,” you frown. “Why the fuck did you decide to haunt me?”

“You’re the one who caught out attention first,” Jongho admits with a shrug. “You weren’t panicking, and you were skeptical about the whole thing. Well, until Hongjoong and Seonghwa started moving shit around in the room you guys were in.”

You think this is the first time you’ve ever heard Jongho swear, and to say it catches you off guard would be an understatement.

“Yeah, don’t let his little innocent act fool you,” Yeosang chuckles. “He may be the youngest, but he swears worse than a sailor.”

“Hey!” Jongho protests, throwing one of your couch pillows at Yeosang who easily catches it with one hand while making a face at the younger.

You cannot help yourself. A chuckle escapes you. One which you immediately regret when both males are whipping their heads over to look at you, their gazes locking on your figure as soft smiles adorn their features. You clear your throat.

“That still doesn’t explain much,” you mutter, averting your gaze almost shyly. A fact which has both of their chests swelling with warmth.

It’s been so long since they’ve had a decent interaction with you, that they’re both going to savour this for as long as they can.

“You were the one that stepped up to protect your friend,” Yeosang continues. “You were the one who took charge and disposed of the mirror you guys used for the summoning.”

“Yeah, and?” You cross your arms.

“And we liked that about you.” Jongho replies, leaning further back into your couch with a smile still visible on his lips. “We’ve all been hooked ever since.”

“Getting rid of the mirror didn’t actually get rid of any of you, did it?” You sigh, shaking your head slightly.

“Nope,” both men reply at the same time.

“Great,” you exhale a long breath. “Well, I suppose this is my life now.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed,” Yeosang jokes, immediately regretting his decision to attempt to tease you when your eyes flash, a frown painting your features.

“I’ll go pack now,” your voice is bitter, a tenseness to your shoulders that wasn’t there a moment ago when you turn your back to them and begin to retreat to your bedroom.

As soon as you’re out of earshot, Jongho is throwing the other couch pillow at Yeosang’s head.

“Way to go, asshole.” Jongho hisses. “And we were finally making progress again, too.”

“Oh, don’t you dare blame all of this on me.” Yeosang rolls his eyes. “You’re the one that got all handsy first.”

“No, our eldest did that,” Jongho retorts, his words rumbling with the hints of a growl.

A scowl pulls onto Yeosang’s face as he leans back in his seat, both men now reeling in the bitterness that they felt - that they continue to feel - at the fact that Seonghwa of all people got to touch you first.

What they each wouldn’t give to have been in that position. To have you beneath their touch, to hold you in their arms, has always been one of their biggest fantasies. If only they could make them all into a reality. They would do anything to please you, and they hope that one day you’ll let them prove it.

Thirty minutes later and you’re appearing from down the hall, lugging two full suitcases with you. Immediately, both males are on their feet, each taking a bag from your hands.

“I have more, hang on,” you say, moving to turn around. However, before you can so much as face your hallway again, you see your suitcases disappear from their hands, vanishing in thin air. “What the fuck.”

“Our teleporting works on all things, both organic and inorganic.” Yeosang explains, casually, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that,” you reply, a hint of wonder in your tone which makes them both smile faintly. Then, you blink, as if realizing something. “Wait, if you guys can do that, then can-“

“Wait!”

“Again, what the fuck!” Your eyes go wide as you open the door to your spare bedroom where you keep all of your bookshelves to find them completely bare. Your stomach drops as panic washes through you. Have you been robbed? No, you don’t think so. It wouldn’t make sense with all of your valuables still here. “Where are all of my things?”

Of course, you had more than just books on your shelves. Photos, little trinkets, and even some extra folded blankets were held in this room, not to mention all the volumes of manga and albums you have been collecting over the years. All of them, vanished without a trace.

“One of you start explaining.” You turn to look at the two of them who stand wide-eyed in the doorway, and you just know they had something to do with this. “Now!”

“Remember that library Hongjoong told you about?” Jongho answers, a nervous lilt to his voice.

“You’re telling me, that he came to my apartment, alone, and brought all my belongings from within this room with him back to your domain?” You ask, a deadly look shining in your eyes.

“He wasn’t alone,” Yeosang replies. “Seonghwa went with him.”

Yeosang shouldn’t have said that. Yeosang really should not have said that.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Angry doesn’t even begin to describe you as you run a hand over your face, feeling your body begin to heat as white hot fury courses through your veins. “When?”

“The day after you finally came to us.” Jongho decides that there’s no use in lying to you anymore. You were bound to find out soon, anyways.

“So, that thing about only being able to appear near me in glass objects was complete bullshit, wasn’t it?” You narrow your eyes at them.

If either one of them so much as damaged anything, or so much as got a spec of dirt, or hell, even a fingerprint on your collection, there will be hell to pay.

“No!” Jongho immediately raises his hands in front of himself in defence. “That was all true, we swear!”

“There needed to be a physical connection between us before we could transport ourselves anywhere that you’ve been that we haven’t,” Yeosang tells you, attempting to be a voice of reason for you during this time. “Your friend may have summoned us, but you didn’t. So, even if we wanted to appear around you in the physical world, we couldn’t. Only metaphysically until we established that connection.”

“Well, this is just making me feel loads better,” you huff, sitting on the edge of the guest bed while rubbing your hands over your face. “I-“

A knock sounds from your door, interrupting your train of thought.

Immediately, both males are turning around with a scowl on their faces as they practically glare holes into your front door. Neither particularly enjoy the loud thoughts radiating from your much too friendly neighbour who has just decided to pay you an unexpected visit.

“We’ll talk about this later,” you say, going to move past them as you hear another knock - this one a little more eager than the first - sound at your door. However, before you so much as undo the lock, you turn to face them once more, quirking a brow in the process.

Do you mind grabbing my other bags? They’re in my room.

Both males can only stand there and blink, momentarily stunned by the fact that you’ve just willingly spoken to them using your thoughts. Ecstatic doesn’t even begin to describe how they’re feeling, forgetting for a brief moment about the male behind your front door as pleased growls build in their throats, threatening to escape them at any second.

Without another thought, they hastily head to your room, practically shoving each other out of the way in order to be the first one to cross the threshold into your own private space. A space in which you’ve just practically invited them into for the first time, completely unaware of the meaning behind your request.

As soon as you see them disappear down the hallway, you’re breathing a sigh of relief. Turning back around to face the front, you flick the locks, swinging the door open in the next second. The sight that greets you brings a smile to your lips.

“Calum, hey!” You don’t think you’ve experienced this sense of happiness, this sense of normalcy in weeks. “How’ve you been?”

“Hey!” He greets back with a smile, pulling you in for a hug which you gladly accept. “I’m doing great! How have you been? I haven’t seen you around lately, is everything okay?”

You pull away from him, holding him at arms length as your smile shifts from genuine to semi-strained. “Yeah, I’ve been okay. Just busy lately. Life has really been kicking my ass.”

You share a small laugh, worry tugging at the back of your mind. You feel as if there’s a storm brewing behind you, hidden just around the corner of your hallway. One that you cannot control.

“If something’s the matter, you can tell me,” he says, genuine concern reflected on his features as his hands move to hold your own in his. Gently, he strokes his thumb over your skin, squeezing your fingers reassuringly. “I’m here for you.” Then, as if he’s finally decided to speak his mind, “I’ve missed you.”

A soft call of your name draws your attention to the side as you feel an arm snake around your waist from behind. Sparing a glance to the side, you see Jongho standing beside you, glaring directly at the man standing across from you. “Who’s this?”

“This,” you not-so-subtly elbow Jongho in the ribs, getting him to drop his hold on you in the process as you shoot him a pointed look, “is my neighbour, Calum.”

“What’s taking you two so long?” Yeosang appears beside you, his hand finding purchase on your lower back and causing you to stiffen immediately at his touch. He meets Calum’s gaze, a look of disinterest painting his features as he scrutinizes every inch of the mortal before him.

At least Jongho and Yeosang can agree on this. This human has nothing on them.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Calum blinks, a bit taken aback. “I didn’t realize you had company.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit-“

“Watch your mouth.” It’s Jongho who cuts you off, successfully making you jump at the harshness of his tone, words directed at the man before you.

You can feel Yeosang’s fingers tense on your back, and you just know something bad is about to happen.

“Anyways,” you say quickly, already reaching to close your front door. “Great seeing you again!”

Without another word, you slam the door in his face, turning to look at the two demons practically fuming now as you rest your back on the now closed door. One look into their eyes and you see nothing but darkness swirling within.

“What the fuck was that about?” You frown, a hint of fear trailing down your spine.

“We’re leaving.” Yeosang reaches for you, but you recoil back, eyes wide as you press yourself against the door.

“Please, don’t be scared of us.” Jongho says, his tone suddenly soft as he finally reverts his eyes back to their normal colour.

“You would not believe the thoughts projecting themselves out of that thing’s head.” Yeosang adds with a huff, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“That person has a name,” you mirror his stance, frown still tugging at your features.

“Not for long,” Yeosang mumbles, and you swear your eyes nearly bug out of your head.

“Excuse me?” You look at him, incredulously.

“He doesn’t deserve to live with the things he was thinking about you.” Jongho breathes, eyes seeing past you and appearing as if his gaze is following Calum’s figure as it retreats back down the hallway and into his own apartment.

You freeze, your breath catching in your throat. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

Well, they did tell you that they would do anything for you. Honestly, you shouldn’t be surprised that killing isn’t beneath them.

Yeosang and Jongho share a brief look. Of course they would kill for you. What type of demonic lovers would they be if they didn’t?

“Go on, then,” you motion for them to continue with your head. “What was he thinking?”

It’s Yeosang who meets your gaze first. “He didn’t actually care about how you were doing. The only thing on his mind was how he could get into your pants. Apparently, in his mind, you’ve been nothing but a ‘teasing bitch always leading him on’.”

“Huh, you think you know a guy.” You scoff, shrugging in the next moment. “Not any different than the majority of men I know. Honestly, I’ve been called worse.”

“He called you a-“ Jongho pauses, his entire body shaking with white hot fury as his eyes flash black once more, “a ‘slut’. A ‘fucking whore’ as soon as he saw us appear beside you.”

“Again, not the first time a man has called me those things after I’ve rejected them,” you say, nonchalantly.

You want to question whether or not they’re lying to you, but their reactions are far too genuine to simply be an act. You’re starting to understand what it means for them to lose control, especially when you are concerned.

“Who?” Yeosang immediately takes a step forward, causing you to push yourself further back into the door until he’s correcting his mistake, making the both of them take a few steps backwards to give you some space.

“You think I keep a list of all the people who have wronged me?” You laugh dryly, a roll to your eyes. “Yeah, Samantha pushed me off of the swing set when we were five and I scraped my knee. Jaehyun broke my heart last year and he didn’t even care about it.”

They both scowl, thoughts overcome with the need to protect you in any and every way they know how. These people have wronged you, and they no longer deserve to live for defiling you in such ways.

You sigh, not believing the words that are about to come out of your mouth. “Take me back.”

They blink at you, attempting to put a leash on their rage for the time being.

“Take me back,” you repeat, pushing yourself off of the door to stand in an upright position as your eyes close. “I’ve gotten everything that I came for.”

Just as Yeosang goes to reach for you, your eyes are flinging opened.

“Wait!” You’ve just remembered something.

Immediately, you brush past them and reenter your bedroom. A moment later and you reappear, three large stuffed animals clutched in your arms.

“I can’t believe I almost forgot these guys,” you shake your head, noticing the way the two of them wear looks of amusement on their faces. You narrow your eyes. “Not a word.”

Jongho raises his hands in a motion of surrender, while Yeosang simply quirks a brow.

“I sleep better when I’m holding onto something,” you admit, a heat rising to your cheeks. “The pillow isn’t quite cutting it anymore.”

Little do you know of the way your words effect them. Both would gladly let you cling to them whenever and wherever you wanted, especially if it meant you slept better through the night. Hell, they know they would rest better holding you in their arms for as long as you’d let them. Really, you need only ask.

“Alright,” your voice manages to pull them out of their thoughts. “Let’s go.”

It’s a bittersweet feeling. One that settles into your bones and fills your lungs as you take what are probably your final breaths in this apartment for the rest of your life. The harshness of reality slaps you in the face as your emotions begin to overwhelm you, resisting the urge to cry as you realize that you don’t want to go back. You don’t want to leave the home you so delicately created for yourself the past few years. You don’t want to abandon who you were, or what you did.

Only, before you can so much as utter a final goodbye, Yeosang is placing his hand onto the small of your back once more. In an instant, your room at the hotel greets you, and you find yourself blinking away tears as you throw your stuffed animals on the newly made bed. It looks as if someone cleaned your room while you were gone, your freshly packed bags sitting off to the side.

“Are you okay?” Jongho asks, voice soft as he takes a step towards you.

“No, I am not okay.” You hiss, turning around and sitting on the edge of the bed.

However, before either of them can say anything else, San, who had been walking past your room at hearing your thoughts returning within the vicinity, storms inside at seeing you in tears. Cautiously, he kneels in front of you, worry clear on his features as he spares a glance at his brothers out of the corner of his eyes. Cupping your face in his hands, he manages to wipe one of your tears away before you’re shrugging him off.

San stands, turning to face the others in the room. “What the fuck did you two do?”

“We didn’t do anything,” Yeosang narrows his eyes at the aforementioned male who is currently glaring at both him and Jongho.

“If this is about that bastard-“ Jongho begins, before you cut him off.

“I couldn’t give less than two fucks about him right now,” you snap, and you swear both Jongho’s and Yeosang’s chests rumble with pleased growls, whereas San just looks confused, his brow furrowing in response. “I really didn’t think I had to spell this one out for you.”

No, you really don’t. Your emotions lingering throughout your thoughts tell them enough, and all they can do is frown. If they could, they would take all of your pain away, replacing that longing, that sadness within you in a heartbeat. However, they cannot. The best they can do is offer you any sort of comfort that they can. Whether you choose to accept it or not is another story.

San turns his attention back to the other two males, his voice low. “What happened?”

Both Jongho and Yeosang share a look between themselves before they’re sharing their memories with their brothers. All of them.

And you let him live? Seonghwa snarls through their minds, and none of them have to see him to know the pure and utter fury that is shining in his eyes right now.

Anyone care to take a trip? Yunho hums, and they all know a maniacal grin is stretching over his lips in this moment. I think we owe the little worm a visit.

Already ahead of you, Wooyoung replies, a malicious glint in his eyes as he catches his own gaze in the mirror.

Skin him alive for me, would you? Mingi voices, already deciding that he’ll stay behind to make sure you don’t do anything rash. Besides, you thought about wanting to explore your new home earlier, and he’ll be damned if he isn’t at least one of the ones to show you around.

I’d prefer if you burnt him to a crisp, honestly. San adds, watching you carefully as you stand from your seated position on the bed and walk past the three of them into the bathroom. He’s also determined to stay back and watch over you, even if he so badly wants to unleash the seventh layer of hell upon the pathetic excuse of a human that so much as thought he could have any type of chance with you.

If anyone gets first dibs on how we torture the mortal, it’s us. Yeosang states, a cold fury held within his eyes.

Yeah, Jongho huffs, you guys had no idea how hard it was not to tear him apart limb from limb right then and there.

Then why didn’t you? Wooyoung snaps, anger clouding his mind.

Believe me, we wanted to. Yeosang sighs, both him and Jongho vanishing from the room as they meet the others at the front.

We just rather preferred not to have our beloved terrified of us for the moment. We’re pretty sure we’ve already freaked her out enough for one lifetime. Jongho purses his lips, crossing his arms in front of his chest as the five of them converge.

Looking around, their brows furrow. Someone is missing. Someone who has been very silent throughout this whole ordeal. Someone who is usually the first one to act when something like this happens.

Immediately, the five of them are transporting to your apartment. Opening the front door, they make the short trek down the hallway to Calum’s apartment, already feeling the wrath radiating outwards in waves. Carefully, they push the door open, eyes bleeding black as smirks tug at their features.

There, in the middle of the living room, stands Hongjoong. A blade rests in his hand, dripping with fresh blood as he glares at the man pinned to the wall before him. A man who lets out a muffled scream, struggling against the daggers piercing his skin and holding him in place off of the ground as he sees the five men enter the room, their eyes as dark as night and screaming for vengeance.

Hongjoong turns to look at them with his eyes already pitch black and screaming for blood. “Took you long enough.”

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nervoushottee · 7 months

Text

A Solemn Promise Ch. 4 | Joel Miller Series

Summary: A blast from the past.

Warnings: Cursing, blood, death, guns, like I said previously: just regular the last of us shit.

NOTE PLEASE READ: From this chapter on out, I will be turning reader into more of an OC character. I will keep it in second pov so it still reads how its been (using you, instead of she while reading/writing). However reader will have a name that she will be called throughout the series. You can see a bit of it in this chapter but it will pop up more withthin the rest of the series. Doing this truly helps me get more into the character and into writing this fic.

Thank you for reading that big ass note. Also, Thank you SO MUCH for all the love I've been getting for this fic. It means so much to me truly...Enjoy!

(limited editing)

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Joel wasn’t surprised to see the dead bodies in the hallway when he did.

When Tess told him earlier that Robert had fucked up with the battery, his hope for it slowly disappeared with each waking hour. He barely had any hope to begin with. But what made him keep pushing was to find his younger brother.

To find Tommy. Help him, protect him and/or get him out of any trouble he probably put himself in. Because that’s what being an older sibling is. To protect the ones that are younger than you like a parent would. No matter if you were told to or not. And no matter how many years went by, or how old they got, that is what Joel was and always would be.

So when Tess revealed that the battery the two of them had been putting all their marbles on was simply a piece of junk in the middle of the hallway, Joel didn’t react. He knew Tess was angry, hell so was he internally, but who wouldn’t blame her from what she had gone through the night before. Joel simply just knew it was back to square one.

He perked up at the sound of someone else being in the hallway. With the bullet wounds in all the dead bodies that littered the hallway, he already assumed there would be more danger ahead. Joel walked ahead of Tess with his gun raised as he followed the sound.

Slowly with each step, the sounds grew louder. And just from listening, Joel didn’t think it was anything dangerous, but still proceeded with caution. He peaked out from the corner of the hallway to see two women injured.

One woman tried to stand and walk away from what looked like a battlefield. Blood on both of them showing that although they survived, they still took damage. Joel slowly walked toward them, aiming his gun at the ready. The question was, would he shoot first ask questions later? Or vice versa.

He didn’t have time to answer when a door to his right swung open to a young girl charging at him with a knife. He didn’t waste anytime to throw her to the ground with his gun aimed at her face.“Fuck.” the girl muttered, winded from the sudden shove to the wall.

“Joel?”, he turned his head to see that one of the injured women he almost shot was no other than someone he really didn’t feel like seeing.

“Marlene?”

Marlene doesn’t say anything else to him. Instead she brings her attention to the young girl Joel had just pushed. Asking her if she was alright, in which the girl responded with a nod of her head. Her eyes were still staring at Joel. Full of bravery and fear all tied together as she reached to collect her switchblade. Joel doesn’t hesitate to press his foot firm into the weapon to keep her from getting it back.

What the hell was a young girl doing in the middle of this mess? Let alone with Marlene and the Fireflies.

“Ellie.” Marlene says to calm the girl down.‘So that was the girl's name’. Joel thought to himself. Ellie's attention didn’t move away from him until Marlene called her name a second time. Finally, Ellie turned her head to Marlene, her eyes widened to see the two older women bloodied and injured. “Oh shit!” she exclaims as she stares at Marlene’s side.

The older woman dismissed her worries, “You can’t be stupid like this.” she says to Ellie with exhaustion in her voice. Both her and Kim lowered their weapons.

Joel hears Tess walking into the hallway with the rest of them and she isn’t pleased from what he could tell. “So this is who Robert screwed us over with? The Che Guevara of Boston? I mean, war must be pretty bad for you to be buying from scum like him.” she taunts.

“Yeah it kinda has been. The merch was bad and he obviously didn’t take fuck off for answer.”

Marlene says.

Typical Robert. Joel didn’t trust that man to give him a drink of water if he was simply thirsty. Let alone keep his end of the bargain for something as big as a car battery. But when you’re desperate, you’re desperate. And he was, hell, even the Fireflies were from he could see.

“What do you need a car battery for?” he asked her, ignoring the plead from Ellie, asking him to let go of her knife.

The girl didn’t take him ignoring her as an actual answer. Reaching out to grab the weapon still sitting under Joel’s shoe. He turns his gun back on her, honestly not having the patience with the kid in the first place. “Don’t.”

Not even a split second after he aims his gun at the young girl, two more guns are aimed back at him. He hears the sound of Tess aiming her gun at Marlene and the other woman he didn’t know.

“Not at her…Point it at me.” Marlene says to him quickly.

Suddenly, there was a faint sound of footsteps coming from behind the two women. Both of them not moving, guns still aimed at Joel almost if they knew who was approaching them.

“Ellie?!?” he heard a woman exclaim. Her voice grows louder and louder as she rounds the corner and finally comes into view.

You.

It felt as if Joel’s heart had almost stopped. He could’ve thought he was dead right then and there as he locked eyes with you. There you were, twenty years later. Stuck in this mess of what the world was, just like him.

Twenty years older than what you both were all those years ago. You were here and you were alive.

How were you even alive?

He mourned you, he remembers finding out that you were no longer here. It was like the final piece to the puzzle of losing the rest of his humanity. The warm feeling of love and hope went away when his girls left him. When you left him.

How the fuck weren’t you dead? Where was your kid? Their kid? Joel couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Still stuck in a daze of disbelief, the grip on his gun loosened. His aim towards the young girl started to falter, dropping slowly. You hadn’t said a word. You too had been taken back from the sudden blast from the past. Joel could tell as much when he saw your feet falter as if you were taking steps to run back in the way you came in. He watched your eyes trail down at him from his head, to his chest to his hands that were still gripping the gun he was aiming loosely at Ellie.

And almost if a switch flipped, the sudden shock you had on your face was quickly wiped away with anger. You didn’t hesitate to raise your gun at him. “You’d lower that if you know what’s good for you.” you snapped.

Joel still didn’t move. Still shocked to see you alive and standing there. “Do I need to shoot you for you to understand? What I’m saying is not a request.” you speak to him again. The anger is still in your voice. “Woods enough.” Marlene says to you, her eyes not leaving the situation in front of her. “Joel, point it at me.”

Woods. He didn’t think he’d hear that last name in so long. He didn’t know if that brought him anxiety or comfort.

Joel turns his head back at the young girl, whose eyes hadn’t left the barrel of the gun. Her hands are raised in surrender when Joel sees her. The bravery he could tell was just oozing out of her the moment she came out that door had gone. Her breath was heavy as she waited on his next move. Slowly, Joel moves his gun away from her and aims it at Marlene. He can hear her sigh of relief as he does.

Marlene and Kim both lower their guns. You keep it straight forward for a few seconds, before lowering it also. “To answer your question, I need it for a better reason than you do. No offense, but Tommy is just one man.

Joel eyebrows furrowed and he looked back up at you, you had done the same reaction. He doubted it was for the same reason. He quickly looks back at Tess who was just as confused as he was because how the fuck did Marlene know?

“It’s our job to know things.” Marlene states, knowing the reason for Joel's confusion.

He scoffs, “To know things? You’re the cause of it. You turned my own brother against me.”

Marlene rolls her eyes, adjusting her stance and applying more pressure against her wound.

“That was a lot of gunfire. FEDRA’s going to be on the way.” Kim says to her. He sees you get closer to Marlene. Coming closer into the light he can get a better glimpse of you. You were bleeding. You knuckles bloody, a cut on your lower lip and the side of your neck had what looked like a cut from a knife.

“Kim’s right. We gotta go Marlene.” you add, staring at the woman. And Marlene knew, she said as much. But Joel didn’t see she was in a hurry to move. “We were going to move Ellie out of the zone tonight, but we won’t make it anywhere like this. Not for a while anyway.”

“So now I’m thinking…you’re gonna do it.”

Joel didn’t like the sound of that fucking statement. No way in hell him or Tess was going to waste their time on some girl. “The hell we are.”

You and Ellie had the same sentiments as you both exclaimed with the same attitude.

“I’m not going with them!”

“Marlene what the fuck?!?” You exclaim. Kim takes a step closer to her as she speaks. “Let me and Woods take her. That was the plan anyway, we’re just a few people short.”

Joel didn’t want to entertain this any fucking longer. His night was waisted, his battery was gone, and he’d have to go home and start back over again at square fucking one. To try and find a way to get to Tommy. “Tess, we don't have time for this.” He insisted. But from the looks of it, Tess was intrigued. “Who is she?”

“To you? She’s cargo.” Marlene replied quickly back to her.

Joel still wasn’t having it, pushing the statement that it wasn’t going to happen. “We don’t smuggle people.” He could tell his statement was ignored as you, Marlene and Kim both converse among yourselves.

“Let us take her Marlene, I can do it.” Kim pushed. Marlene didn’t waste any time to lay it down on her. “Kim, you don’t have a fuckin’ ear on your fuckin’ head!” And she was right, the woman’s right ear was gone, leaving just blood and scar tissue in its wake.

“And what’s your excuse for me?” you demand from Marlene. Taking a step closer to her, “We both know that I’m not going anywhere without here and I won’t fuck this up.”

Marlene sighs, nodding her head softly. “You're right.”

“Woods you go with them.” she says loudly for both him and Tess to hear.

It was like Marlene loaded the gun and pulled the trigger all at the same time. Joel didn’t want to do this. Despite knowing you were alive, it wouldn’t be good for him. Or you. It would bring up things about himself, about his past that he spent years pushing away to stay alive. “Are you even listening to me?” Joel questions.

He sees you shake your head, “That wasn’t the plan Marlene.” you say bitterly.

And as if Marlene was through with the back and forth she turns around quickly but regrets it with a groan from her chest. Her injury is still causing pain from being left untreated. “The plan was to send you and Ellie out there with a group of us, not just you. What if you die? What then?”

You try to protest at the question but Marlene doesn’t give you time to do it.

“There’s a team of Fireflies waiting for her at the old State House.” Joel shook his head as he scoffed at what Marlene was telling them. “So why don’t you let Woods take her like she wants. No use needing us.” Joel snaps, putting emphasis on what they’d been calling you.

“I can get her there faster, those two would just slow me down.” You say to Marlene but your eyes never leave Joel’s. Slow you down? How the hell would you even know if him and Tess would “slow you down”?

“Is that right?” Joel question.

“Damn right.” you say without hesitation.

Joel didn’t know why he was upset at your assumption. He should just leave it alone, he didn’t want to be around you in the first place.

“Both of you enough.” Marlene sighs, “I know what’s out there. We were going with an entire squadron for that very reason. But now, I don’t have a truck, I don’t have a squadron and for the last time Woods, you going out there by yourself is too risky of a chance for me to take. You know that.” she states. You sigh, shaking your head. In a way, Joel could tell that you knew she was right.

For whatever reason why this girl needed to get out of the city, it seemed important enough that the three of you were willing to get shot for her when Joel raised his gun

“FEDRA is five minutes away, and what I do know is that I have you. And I know what you both are capable of. For better or worse.” Marlene finishes. “What are they capable of?”, the young girl's eyes widened in intrigue at the woman’s statement.

“Ellie, not now.” you say to her quietly.

Joel had noticed that Tess hadn’t said much of anything since she asked who Ellie was to them. Still listening to Marlene’s proposal and letting him do all the talking.

“You get her there safely with Woods and they’ll give you what you need. Not just a battery. The whole thing. Fueled-up truck, guns, supplies, all of it. I swear.”

Now that was something that perked his interest. He turns to Tess to she what she thinks, the woman tilting her head in the other direction so the two of them could talk about it privately. He walked over to her but not before sliding Ellie’s knife further away from her. “Asshole!” the girl exclaims.

Joel doesn’t react to her insult as he walks over to Tess. But he hears the sound of footsteps coming towards him and turns briefly to see you walking over to Ellie. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” your questions full of concern as you place a gentle hand against the back of her head.

Ellie quickly shakes her head, “No but you are. What happened?”

Joel turns away quickly. An old, yet painful memory creeps up his skin that makes him think of what could have been. Years before all of this happens. He forces it away before walking back to Tess, who had seen the whole thing.“You trust her? Marlene?” Joel gives her a look that clearly indicates he doesn’t. “Me either, but she seems desperate.”

“Firefly vehicle usually means repurposed FEDRA stuff. So, better than a decent chance of making it to Tommy in one of those.” Joel tells her. He hated to admit it and truly didn’t want to do it in the first place, but it was the best chance they could get. It was either this or going home and starting all over again.

Tess nodded, agreeing with Joel’s statements. The woman still stood there, giving him a look that he could tell she wasn’t satisfied. Like she wanted to say something else. “What?” Joel pushes.

“Who is she to you?” Tess questions.

Joel knew who Tess was referring to. You. The woman he mourned, the woman that haunts his dreams from time to time still after all these years. You who makes him think of his past self that is no longer a part of him.

He could play dumb and ask her who she meant. He could act like he didn’t have a clue who you were. But he knew better, Tess knew better.

“Nobody important.” he dismisses

Joel can tell that’s not the answer Tess wanted from him, and didn’t doubt for a second that she would press on it more later. He tries to change the subject, “The second we hand that kid over-”

“Y’all can talk this through but please remember I’m bleeding out.” Marlene says loudly with desperation. Reluctantly, he and Tess make the decision quicker than they would like.

“Okay. Here’s the deal.” Tess begins as she walks back over to the group of women. You were still crouching down at Ellie’s level. Your hand resting on her shoulder. “We’ll get her to your crew at the State House. But before we hand her over, they give us everything we want. If not we kill her. There and then.”

“Not with me there you won’t.” You say, standing quickly in defense against the young girl.

‘Who was she to you?’ Joel thought. A small brief thought lingered in his brain, bringing up something, or better yet, someone, who he could’ve thought she was to you. But from the looks of it, the girl was pretty young. And who Joel didn’t want to think too hard about would’ve been way older by now.

“Deal.” Marlene agrees.

Ellie scoffs, “Really? That fast?” the girl looks between you and Marlene.

Marlene sighs, “You are all that matters. My team won’t jeopardize that. Woods knows that.” she tilts her head up to acknowledge you. You look down at Ellie before speaking to her, “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

“Remember what I told you…go get your backpack.” The injured woman instructs. Ellie doesn’t move, still upset about the decision.

“Ellie, go.” you say to her, the young girl looks at you. Almost pleading for this exchange not to happen. In the end she sighs, reluctantly getting up to get her things. Stomping in her wake.

Ellie comes back out with her things, heading to stand towards you. Joel watches as she stares at Marlene. “Let’s go.” Tess tells them as she walks back the way they came. Ellie stares at Marlene a little longer as do you.

Both Marlene and Kim nod their head at you as a goodbye. You reciprocate the gesture and softly pull Ellie’s arm for her to start walking. You don’t look at Joel as you pass him. Your eyes straight forward as you head the same way Tess goes. Ellie shoves Joel’s shoulder with her body as she walks past him, causing him to turn in annoyance. Watching as she grabs the knife he had kicked away from her.

He sees you stand and wait for her to catch up to you. Your arm extended toward her, you fingers wiggling softly for the young girl to take.

“Joel…” Marlene calls for him, causing Joel to turn away from the gesture he just watched between you and Ellie. “Don’t fuck this up…Please.” If this didn’t finalize how desperate Marlene and the Fireflies were then he didn’t know what would. Without a word, Joel turns and leaves. Leaving the two women alone once again.

— — — —

AHHH THANK YOU FOR READING IT MEANS SO MUCH *comments and reblogs are SO appreciated <3, thank you for your support!*

taglist: @givemeth @lost-inside-my-mind23 @marantha @lunxramour @silas-222 @drewharrisonwriter @violinchick @l3laze @n7cje @duckybird101 @anavatazes @hoemadegrace

(comment if you want to be added to the taglist and I will add you!)

#joel miller #joel fic #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #the last of us imagine #the last of us book #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel x reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic

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paradoxicalrising · 11 months

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Astro Observations Pt. 2 !

**again just prefacing: im not a professional, these are my personal opinions based off my experience with these placements :) enjoy

Virgo Mercury @ 24 degrees: these people are the best at making passive aggressive comments. depending on the mars sign and where it’s placed they may come off as rude/ bitchy. such great liars. they will lie with a straight face about something stupid and right after break the facade and tell you they were lying. it’s so easy to believe them. deadpan, dry humor. i’ve seen that they laugh at intelligent, witty comments. i’ve also seen them be more interested in psychology, reading body language, and asking personal questions to strangers.

mercury square pluto, mercury rx, debilitated mercury: struggle with social anxiety and public speaking. the anxiety is very high when it comes to talking in front of an audience or even an authority figure. may physically shake while presenting, wavering voice, and losing breath bc they’re talking so fast.

moon square mars in men: tumultuous relationship with the mother. may cause problems in relationships with women, taking anger towards the mother out on the girlfriend/ wife. this placement has been seen in domestic violence situations. may actually be attracted to someone who acts and looks like their mother.

mars conjunct uranus: unpredictable, wild card. when really angry, they may explode. energy levels are rarely stable, they tend to fluctuate often. prone to cut people off out of nowhere once they’ve dealt with enough. may act/ speak before they think when they’re angry.

sun conjunct venus: it’s so hard not to like these people. they are full of charisma, and tend to be attractive. may be arrogant at times, and think they’re better than others physically. they’re easy to get along with but their niceness may be seen as fake/ superficial.

MC in scorpio: sexualized by the public. everyone has a crush on them but no one is brave enough to tell them. intimidating aura. this placement tends to dominate the public image. a lot of people are scared of them bc of their intelligence and beauty. powerhouse of a person when it comes to success. nothing will get in their way, resilience runs in their blood. hold a natural power and immediately demands respect with their tone of voice and body language. even if they’re insecure or in pain, they never show that to the public. gain a lot of unwanted attention. also seem to succeed at a low key rate until later in life when they finally get recognition.

4th house: truly the house of the darkest parts of yourself. if you wanna look for childhood trauma, look to the 4th house and any aspects made to other planets or houses in the chart. this is who we are when we’re alone. this is the house of our instincts, generational trauma on the mothers side or the more feminine parent, fears. it’s ruled by cancer which is ruled by the moon so it naturally has a light and dark side like every sign and planet. this is the house of where you feel you’re at home and depending on what you grew up with, one person could be happy with attention, stability, and honesty but another person could seek out unavailable people, they might self sabotage just to feel like they’re at home. the sense of home changes over time and it is capable of changing for the better but this is where i’d recommend you start with shadow work find the sign, house, aspects, and degree for more insight.

empty houses: i’ve noticed that with my empty houses, it’s almost like i just don’t think about those things, they don’t concern me compared to houses with stelliums or major planets. it’s not that i’ve mastered them or anything, they’re just not a big deal in my life. of course problems and success still arise in the areas of these houses but it’s not as heavy compared to house with planets in them. with empty houses, pay attention to transits that make aspects to your natal house sign but other than that these houses usually don’t create major problems in one’s life.

#virgo mercury #astro notes #empty house #mercury square pluto #sun conjunct venus #sun sq #4th house #scorpio mc

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kingusukaras · 8 months

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some (mildly disjointed) thoughts i had about the translation of most recent leona overblot scene from the second twst novel. unsaid disclaimer is obvi these are just my thoughts and youre free to disagree. i cant stop you

read more because i might ramble a bit 💆🏾‍♀️

i'll start by saying that i'm very grateful for the novel & yuureis translations, bc its given me so much to chew on wrt leonas psyche and mental state, much more than book 2 in the game did. i havent bothered to go looking for reactions tho, bc i can already kind of predict the takes i'll find (knowing how parts of the fandom talks abt leona generally) - and i do "get" it, in the sense that i do also feel the way he tortures ruggie before he overblots is upsetting - but theres so much to dig into here, i feel like its such a waste to get hung up on obsessively moralizing

(i'll mention here that to formulate these thoughts i'm also pulling from the translation of leona's post-overblot scene, plus some moments from the game that i'll mention specifically as i go)

for example, the things leona says pre-overblot, his meltdown about dreams being stupid and useless, how the savanaclaw students (ruggie included) aren't meant to question him; they're meant to obey quietly, sound less like actual things he's trying to tell them and more like him lashing out at himself. as in, he's more talking at them, not to them. skipping forward to book 6: there we see leona give jamil advice, but the implication underneath is that everything he's telling jamil are things leona wishes he had internalized himself - again here, he's talking to someone, but really it's also directed inwards. almost like it's easier for him to look at (and speak about) himself critically when he can externalize it as critique of other people

the other thing im curious about is the distant, detached persona he adopts when he's truly angry. this'll be quick because i don't feel i have enough information to unpack it properly, but if i allow myself to spin thoughts out from limited information: it could almost be a habit he picked up as a child - something he might've forced himself to learn as part of an effort to be seen as more of a 'model' prince. if people were afraid of his moodiness because they feared what his UM (he) could do, then if he swallows those emotions maybe he can mitigate that. this, ofc, being shot through with the expectation that, as royalty, any order he gives people will obey

the final thing, for this post at least, is unpacking the way leona lashes out at ruggie when ruggie defies him. i'm willing to make the very safe bet that most of the reading of this moment is focused on leona being angry over being defied at all, or general disgust at how small and weak ruggie is (appears) to be. and while i think both of those points have some element of truth to them, i think the larger aspect of leonas reaction is jealousy. ruggie somehow, despite everything, despite all of the disadvantages life has thrown at him, still has the courage to have determination. and i want to be very clear here: this is not me saying being poor or struggling is admirable because it makes you strong - i'm not naive and i'm not here to romanticize poverty. what i am trying to say here ruggie's tenacity - a tenacity his life circumstances developed in him - is something that leona lacks, and that's what he's jealous of. he's jealous of his inability to keep having that hope, to maintain that courage in the face of his own repeated failures

(an aside: isn't it ironic that part of the reason ruggie has that tenacity is leona? leonas tutoring, leonas effective leadership of the spelldrive club, and as housewarden?)

(an aside 2x: in many ways, 'giving up' can be seen as a luxury. ruggie does not have the luxury to give up, because it could very well mean that he doesn't eat that day. for leona, regardless of what he does he's going to have a roof over his head and three square meals a day anyway, so what does it matter if he gives up? sure, he won't be happy, but he'll be comfortable in a material sense, and isn't that enough? except, of course, it isn't - not for him. as much as he tries to deny it, he's as fiercely ambitious as the rest of his dorm)

#king's meta #twisted wonderland #twst leona #leona kingscholar #disney twisted wonderland #every new translation post gives me so much more to mull over i love it #thank you yuurei

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romeulusroy · 1 month

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Being Sam's Twin With Your Own Abilities Would Include: Part 2 (Part 1)

A/N: I just love this character 💕

Arguing with Sam in all your various languages

“Du bist so ein Arschloch!”

“Du bist derjenige, der sich wie ein Kind benimmt.”

“If you two are going to fight, do it in a language I can understand. I wanna know who I’m rooting for.”

The both of you are still getting used to your newfound abilities

As he promised, Sam wakes you when he has a nightmare so you can figure it out together

He hates it, to wake you, but he knows he'll get hell from you if he doesn't

You know Sam's afraid he's going to end up like the others

Constantly talking about that without Dean

He just gets mad and shuts it down. You understand he doesn't want to think about it, but it's becoming a more real possibility with every new encounter

"If we have to kill you, you can just be ghost and follow me around like mom and dad."

"That's not funny."

Though the ghosts still startle you, you’ve almost grown used to them

Unless they present as rotting or fatally wounded, you can’t tell the difference between the living and the dead

It gets you into a bit of trouble, though

"Y/n who are you talking to?"

"Oh. . . you don't see them?"

"Nope."

Some restless ones tug at you, pulling at you, until you have no choice but to follow. Others cry and scream, wailing for you to help them

Sometimes, that’s where you find their remains like a shallow grave or proper tombstone. They're not all victims, though they seem drawn to you. Some just died from illness or old age

Sometimes, they can even be helpful on hunts, pointing you in the right direction

Others, though, are angry. Hurt or scared or just plain restless, they’re out to seek revenge. Those ones, those ones are the ones that scare you

And it’s not just how they look. Innocent children are often the most dangerous, whereas the most decayed ghosts, the ones who died in the most gruesome way, simply want company

You can't tell the difference, though, and it would kill you to ignore someone asking for help just because you aren't sure if they're dead or alive

Both your brothers worry about that

Dean tells you to check with them, but you can't always ask him or Sam. It makes you feel stupid, childish even

You end up talking to the ghosts more than you do humans. You like learning about them. The ones that can or are willing to talk always have something important or interesting to say

A few have even warned you about the not so kind ghosts that are following you but haven’t shown themselves yet

You decide not to tell your brothers about those kinds until they really become a problem

Being careful not to let any other hunters know

“Who are they talking to?”

“Y/n? Oh y'know, the voices in their head.”

"Shut up, Dean."

It’s not long before Gordon overhears what you and Sam are capable of at Ellen's bar

Sam even has a dream about it

Insert imagine :)

He doesn’t tell you until it’s too late, though

It takes place in s2 e10

Sam insisted you stay with Dean, but you remain stubborn that you’re going to Indiana with him. Afraid to leave you, he agrees, under one condition: you don’t follow any ghost anywhere

Dean eventually finds you from the help of Ellen and ends up in Gordon’s trap

Ava warns Sammy about the trip wires, though, and Sammy is able to save Dean and stop Gordon

He made you wait outside, reminding you about the promise you made. He didn't see the "ghost" though, or rather he did, but she was blurry, running away from him rather than facing him. You saw her, though. A woman. She was begging you to help her, save her, that people were after her

You know you shouldn't, but you go with her anyways. It's too real. Her fear, her exhaustion. You're sure she's real, you're sure you're in the right believing her

By the time your brothers are outside and watching Gordon get arrested, Sam realizes you're gone

He curses you and himself, taking off before he has to explain to Dean. He follows behind him, struck by a sinking feeling

Just like in the dream, she is far ahead. You beg her to slow down, to stop, but she doesn't. You trip over a root and land hard on your hands and knees in a clearing

That's when they come out, a bunch of Gordon's buddies

"You, you needed my help." But you watch, horrified and saddened at the same time, that the woman morphs into someone you've never seen. They smile at you, the left half of their face torn away, pieces of their skin hanging off their jaw. Your heart sinks

One of the bad ones, like you'd been warned about. . .

You call out for your brothers, backing away slowly, your palms and knees bloody

You have a gun in your waistband, but you don't know how many bullets. You don't even want to kill them. They knew your dad, your family. If you shot them, there would be hoards of hunters coming back to string you up by your neck

Behind them appear your friends, the ghosts you got to know. The man with no eyes. The elderly couple. The little girl in the pink tutu. Others, too. People you didn't recognize. A man torn in half. A woman holding her own head. A woman in white. You realize, later, the woman holding her head, she had fangs. Those spirits, they must've been the creatures the hunters have killed. They were still connected to them, hurting and angry about their deaths

Even the ghost with half a face looks startled, the only one in the group able to realize they were surrounded

The elderly man, in his shaky voice, tells you to run

So, you do, as fast as you can

Behind you there are gunshots and screaming, but you don't look back

You end up running into Sam, knocking each other down, who immediately starts yelling at you. He thought you were dead. He thought the hunters got you. You can barely catch your breath, shaking hard

Finally, Dean asks you what happened, but you can't find the words

He leaves to check it out, but all he finds is scattered weapons and splatters of blood

They saved you. You try to explain it to your brothers, but they're more worked up about the ghost that tricked you rather than the ones that saved you

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Sammy-"

"Y/n."

"I don't know, I didn't want you freaking out like you are now!"

They put you on what they like to call "ghost arrest". No talking to or about them. Not until they figure out why that one changed form, why it was working with hunters, and why it wanted you dead

It just seems like more work. Besides, you have reputable sources you can ask, you remind them. They refuse

That takes a long time, though. They keep hitting walls and getting frustrated and none of you have that kind of time

So, you do what you want, like you always have, and sneak away. . .

#headcanon #series #sam winchester #sam winchester headcanon #dean winchester #dean winchester headcanon #supernatural #supernatural headcanon #ennasfavorites

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catsandgoodbooks · 10 months

Text

I’m sorry, I just have to talk about c!Techno and c!Punz because I can’t stop thinking about them. Please let me talk about c!Techno and c!Punz. They literally interact once, with the Butcher Army/attempted execution fiasco, and they don’t even talk then. They are almost completely unrelated. There’s no reason to think (or talk) about the two of them and their relationships with each other, at least not based on what is explicitly stated in canon.

But they’re surprisingly similar, and the way other people see them mirror each other. They are both extremely loyal and are deeply involved with c!Dream and are seen as weapons, tools that can be bought and used without any regard for their opinions on the matter. But the way their loyalty is expressed is different, and their relationships with c!Dream are different, and the way they react to be dehumanized are different, and I want to talk about that a little bit because I just can’t stop thinking about them please help.

c!Techno doesn’t like c!Punz. He doesn’t like the fact that they’re complicit in just about everything (including multiple governments and completely unrelated public executions) and the goodwill they got from saving him from the Butcher Army didn’t last very long, especially because he knows they only got involved because c!Dream told them to/paid them to. His opinion of them only further sours after the Eggpire, because, even if they weren’t there for the Red Banquet, they were still working with the Egg. In AUs where c!Punz ends up helping c!Techno (especially if c!Dream is involved), Techno does not trust them one bit and suspects they’re just playing the long con so they can sell him and Dream and the Syndicate out. In versions where Punz tells Techno everything, including the Staged Finale, he thinks they were stupid for not saying no, you can’t do that, to Dream.

So c!Techno doesn’t like, or trust, c!Punz. But it’s more than just that. c!Techno sees c!Punz as the opposite of him, the person he would hate to be and the person he fears he is, the person who everyone treats him as and expects him to be. A tool, a weapon, something you can buy with some coins or a sob story and point in the direction of your enemies. c!Techno fights so hard against the dehumanization that he faces, reinstates over and over again that he’s a person, not just The Blade; c!Punz accepts that conception of them, leans into it, because it keeps them safe and stops people from asking questions and provides plausible deniability. But, for c!Techno, c!Punz is exactly what their facade is, and that means c!Punz is exactly what he refuses to become.

c!Techno doesn’t like thinking about c!Punz.

c!Punz doesn’t like c!Techno. They don’t like the way that c!Techno broke c!Dream out of prison just to take away his armor and abandon him; they don’t like the fact that he broke c!Dream out so late. They’re tightly strung and hold grudges and need someone to blame so they can distract themself from what the hell is going on, what the fuck was happening in that prison, especially because they don’t know who they can blame for this but Sam and themself and everyone who let them happen. c!Techno’s a better target for their wrath because he’s safely out of reach and c!Punz knows they could never act on it. Just bottle up your anger and stick to the plan.

But it’s not just that they hate him either. c!Punz hates c!Techno, sure, but they’re also jealous of him. c!Techno can be angry and get upset and let other people know about it. c!Techno can get revenge. c!Techno can protect the people he loves. c!Techno can assert his humanity. And c!Punz can’t do any of those things, or, at least, they’re not allowed to.

c!Dream thought that c!Techno was powerful enough to be openly aligned with. c!Dream thought c!Techno was powerful and dangerous enough that he would let him break him out of Pandora’s, banked on c!Techno getting him out, and c!Dream would never let c!Punz do anything like that. c!Dream calls c!Techno a friend despite everything he’s gone through and struggles so much to do the same to c!Punz.

(Deep down, c!Punz almost wishes they were c!Techno)

#yeah i've been thinking about this for a while #apologies for the rant #sorry if there's mistakes #dsmp #c!techno #c!punz #c!dream #rivalsduo #staged duo #there needs to be a duo name for punz and techno but there isn't #sorry if there actually is #i just don't know what it would be #dsmp analysis #more like rant really #my writing

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nameofbeinghcnest · 2 months

Text

twitter is really pissing me off with this. ( / wilbur soot , abuse )

love dream, hate dream, i don't care. you can think he's a terrible person, think he did terrible things WHILE ALSO acknowledging how well-spoken and important it was for him to say something. all of these stupid "he's doing it to save face!" or "this is an insane PR tactic" or even the "this is dangerous!!!" are actually so insensitive and to be quite honest makes you side with abusers!

dream is a victim of domestic violence and has been public about this for YEARS - it is so incredibly important that he spoke out in support of shelby while ALSO condemning wilbur's actions as a victim of domestic abuse to show solidarity, from one victim to another. to show that he KNOWS what it's like, he knows the behaviors and the tactics. he saw them in wilbur's bullshit "apology".

dream even says in his statement how encouraging it was to see, as a victim himself, that people were speaking out in support of shelby. how this was going to raise awareness to see the signs, to help encourage more people to speak out and not fear their abuser or just to be able to stand up for anyone who decides to speak out about it. to go on and completely diminish his words by saying "don't let this fool you!" is actually really gross. diminishing another victim's voice is gross. nobody said you had to like him for speaking up. did he have to? no. did anyone have to? also no! don't know why we're so upset and angry about having more uplifting voices, more support. we should be focusing on supporting shelby, not using another victim's message of support to shit on other people and bring external situations into this. it's gross and draws the attention away from the matter at hand, which is what the abuser tried to do in the first place.

since im here (probably won't be back to waffle until the tubbathon starts lol) i just wanted to point out the parts that really stuck out to me from his response because even though i don't really care for him anymore, i do think his support/condemnation has been the best worded so far.

"she had a reason to be afraid to say your name, but you shouldn't have been afraid to say hers"

i got actual chills from that one because FUCK it's so true. it bothered me so bad that wilbur was so vague about it almost as if he could AVOID it if he never attached her name to it. idk if theres really any legal stuff behind it or what not but other than that he had zero consequences for naming her directly. zero consequences for giving her a direct apology. his "apology" didn't even sound like it was TO HER. he isn't sorry, he obviously doesn't know what he has to be sorry for if he's too much of a pussy to address her directly.

"thank you for being brave"

it is so so important that he described her as such because not only does it continue to uplift her and encourage her to stay strong and continue to be brave, but it shows that speaking out against any form of abuse no matter what it is is BRAVE. it's admirable and hopefully sends encouragement to anyone else who reads it that speaking out against it is brave. point blank period. (and honestly everything in his apology to shelby was so incredibly well-worded - its really the fucking fact that dream who had no involvement whatsoever could apologize but wilbur didn't even know what he was supposed to apologize for lol.)

i've said this before, and i'll say it again. all of my love and support goes out to shelby. i am so incredibly inspired and proud of her for being able to stand up for herself, to speak out against someone even if they had a larger platform and raise awareness to the signs and pieces of shit within the community so we don't continue to support and platform dangerous people. i've watched shelby for such a long time, she was such an important part of my childhood and it actually breaks my heart that someone could even THINK of doing anything like that to her because she is such a fucking light and fuck ANYONE who would do anything to try and put that out. i wish her nothing but the best and all of the healing in the world because she deserves it so so much. my heart goes out to any and all other victims of wilbur, as well.

#wilbur soot #dream #shelby

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whumpshaped · 8 months

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A whumpee who killed the wrong guy.

tw murder, gore, knives, prison setting, abuse of power, nonhuman whumper

"Please," Whumper sobbed. "Please, I don't know what you want, I don't– I don't know why you're doing this! Please don't kill me! I'll do whatever you want–"

"This? This is your strategy? To pretend you haven't put me through hell? To pretend you don't even recognise me?" Whumpee had never been so angry in their entire life. They punched Whumper again, then grabbed their aching face and pulled them close. "I guess that's funny. Hilarious, even. Because after that you've done? Sometimes I don't recognise myself either."

"Please, listen to me," they whimpered, the desperation and fear in their eyes so real that Whumpee almost believed it. "I don't know you. I swear on my life, I would never hurt anyone. Please. Please believe me. I'll prove it in any way you can think of, I will!"

"I don't need to listen to this any longer. Fuck you. Fuck you and your stupid games. I let you live for this long because I was stupidly hoping for something... an apology, maybe. Anything. But this just pisses me off." Whumpee took their knife and pressed it up against their victim's throat. "Any last words, maybe?"

"Please don't," they breathed. "Please don't kill me over a misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding my ass."

The murder was messier than Whumpee could've ever imagined. All the blood gushing from the wound, covering their hands and clothes. The sounds of someone choking on their own blood, the gurgles, the twitching of their body. It was horrific.

But it was finally over.

The days in prison passed in a blur. They were simultaneously neverending and fleeting moments. Whumpee didn't even try to run from the authorities, but man, did they want to strangle the judge and the jury when they failed to recognise the atrocities Whumper had committed.

'An innocent life', they had called it. Fuck that.

"We need to talk," one of the guards said, and Whumpee looked up at them with a blank expression. "Right now. Come on."

They were dragged to a more remote location, away from the other inmates. "Have I broken a rule, sir?" Whumpee asked, almost bored. What did it even matter? What were they going to do? Send them to prison?

"I see you still have some manners. I'm glad."

The tone... the wording... Whumpee froze up for a second, as if they'd just seen a ghost. "What?"

"I said," the guard's body began to change right in front of them, skin shifting and bones being rearranging to morph into the person they had killed months ago. "I'm glad to see you still have some manners. Even if killing an innocent guy isn't really part of proper etiquette."

Whumpee stumbled backwards, but Whumper, the person who was supposed to be dead, grabbed them by their handcuffs to pull them right back. "No– no, let go of me! Let me go!"

Whumper swiftly changed their appearance back to that of a prison guard, grinning widely. "Oh, but I can't. It's my job to keep you in line."

general drabbles taglist: @ashh-ed @whumpsday @whump-queen @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @rosewriteswhump @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night

#whump #whump drabble #murder #gore #knives #prison setting #abuse of power #nonhuman whumper

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holylottie · 3 months

Text

aching bones, aching teeth [06]

masterlist [socials and TW's]

PAIRING — Lottie Matthews x fem!reader

CHAPTER SINOPSIS — Lottie always gets more than she can have.

NOTE — english is not my first language, I apologize for any mistakes you might find. Please read the tw's first! Thank you for reading :)

1996

You stood still at the lake. Shauna tried to take you back to the cabin but to no avail, you couldn't bring yourself to move, to think.

You cursed god, got mad at the divine and, consequently, got mad at Lottie. How could she allow such a thing, how could she not know?

Your clothes were wet as you kept yourself sitting on the holy lake — as holy as a sin could be — crying, sobbing loudly. You couldn't scream, your sobs weren't filled with sounds, but they were filled with a new-found hurt: you just entered a new life, a life without Laura, without her sweet words and thoughtful prayers. You didn't hear Natalie arriving, but you felt her steady hands on your shoulders, she pulled you up, holding you with a tight grip while silent.

You didn't bother to speak.

She helped you change your soaked clothes and she made you lay down on the floor, next to an almost sleep Lottie. You two stared at each other, sharing a pain no one else in the cabin could understand.

Lottie reaches out for your hand — you give it to her —, holding your lamb plushie on the other.

Sleep comes slowly, a calm slumber.

But when you wake up, you are terrified.

However, you embrace the tears and make a friendship with the fear, you did not mind the nightmare. There, Laura was alive.

— All okay, Tiq? — Shauna stared at you, from across the room, giving you a gentle tiny smile.

You knew she only meant to be nice, but to someone even consider the possibility of you answering yes, it was devastating, horrifying. Nothing would ever be okay.

You nod, anyway, getting up and putting your mattress on top of Charlotte.

It’s way later than when you normally wake up, but you suppose the girls gave you all a break since the last events. Your stomach is aching for food, and you have to hold onto the walls to not fall when you start to walk.

Shauna and you went outside, and she looked at the leaves you had bring to the girls, their taste was horrible, and there weren’t many of them, but it was better than sleeping on an empty stomach.

— I don’t think I would ever say that, but I do miss cutting meat.

You giggle at Shauna’s remark, your eyes drifting off to Jackie, sitting a few steps away from you two. Shauna’s eyes were on her too.

— Do you think this will end someday?

— Everything does eventually, Tiq. In a good or bad way… everything ends.

— You're harvesting then?!

Like a sinner, a nômade living on the consequences of Adam and Eve.

You hear Mari’s voice and your whole body gets on alert. You get up from your kneeling position, poorly trying to hide the little strawberry patch with your own legs.

She pulled you by the collar of your shirt, her face so close to yours that you could almost see the anger in her irises.

— it’s not for you.

You simply say, filled with hate too, angry at her for finding out,angry at her for being angry at you.

— Oh, yeah for who’s it then For your teen crush, yn?

Her voice is so bitter that your ears hurt. You hated arguments, you hated people arguing, especially at you.

— What makes Lottie more deserving of it than any of us?

You stare at her, and then you laugh.

Silly stupid little Mari.

How could one’s own mind be so deeply wrong? How could one’s own mind compare themselves with something as big and holy as a god?

— When they grow, they will be mine and Akilah’s too.

As she said that, she left.

You felt the urge to step on all your work, to dig your fingers deep on the dirt and take all those seeds elsewhere.

Of course you felt sad, everyone was thinking you all would die — and everyone was pretending to not care about the imminent death and only worry about the stupid ball. You weren’t mad because there was a ball, you were mad because everyone was suddenly losing hope.

For you, the absence of hope was a death of the soul. Soon, the body would go too.

What was the point of life if you didn’t hope for things to get better? You wanted to cry, but who were you to deny an opportunity to dance with Lottie? To deny an opportunity to dance at all?

If there was one thing Lottie liked, it was watching the moon. She would sit by the window and concentrate so hard that she could almost hear it saying goodnight.

She didn't hear you arrive, you didn't announce yourself, but a snap of your mouth did.

You smiled ungraciously and waved softly at her. Your furred ears costume had little ribbons on it, Lottie saw it as a sign: you were a gift from the wild to her.

— Why does your mom call you bambi? — you approached, leaning on the tree next to the girl and looking in the same direction as her.

— It's because I jump around when I'm excited. — Lottie smiled, looking at you; You were different, lighter. Maybe it was the mood of the upcoming party, nobody felt pressured to be someone different in the dark lights and upcoming death.

— What should I call you then? My deer? — you laughed, playing on the pun of dear and deer.

Lottie Matthews always knew what to say, making cheeky comments and being the outgoing type, but you took all her words, she could never finish a sentence, let alone a seductive one.

Ignoring the way her heart was skipping a beat at being called "mine", she followed what was comfortable: concentrating on the joke.

She liked hearing it. She didn't know if it was her instinct as an only child who was born without having to share, but the idea of being the only one to whom you felt comfortable enough to open up so much made her chest fill with pride.

She tried to push aside her selfish thoughts of keeping what you said to herself.

— Have you ever read Sarah Ruhl? In one of her short stories, she tells about a great American surgeon called Halsted. He was married to a nurse whom he loved very much. One day Halsted noticed that his wife's hands were red when she came back from surgery. — you were so enthusiastic, explaining everything with such joy, how could she remember and know so many general and random facts? How could Lottie pay attention to her costume when all she could do was stare at your lips? — And then he invented rubber gloves. For her. Sarah said it was one of medicine's great love stories, talking about how the difference is made out of love.

Lottie stared at her, smiling and vaguely remembering reading something about the construction of love. She knew that her feelings for you were big enough to make her invent something as good as gloves. Even if at the moment it was something as small as a party.

— Do you think everyone is going to have a love story this good? Or does the universe choose a few lucky people at random, Lotts? — you thought out loud, then laughed mockingly and denied it, asking her to let it go. Lottie smiled, handing you a box.

You had to hold back tears when you opened it and saw a tiara made out of leaves and flowers. You smiled happily.

You couldn't form words, so you just hugged her tightly.

— Your antlers are a bit too big — you laughed.

And Lottie felt the inspiration of a scientist.

2021

You loved gardening.

Everything you did in the mud, came back in some way. All your efforts would eventually lead to something, it didn’t had any subjectivity on it, it was simple and clear: plant it, take care of it and receive it.

You had a notebook to note every single one of your seeds and gardening cares, some tips and even pictures of your most beloved ones. However, your favorite of it all was, without a doubt, your strawberry patch.

It was so incredibly taken care of, strawberries as red as blood, leaves as green as hope. You would sit there, putting water, take off bugs with delicate fingers and eat a fruit straight from the patch.

— I never liked strawberries too much, most of them don’t taste like anything.

Laura said, playing with one of the ladybugs.

Or, rather, Laura’s ghost said. Today, she felt adventurous, following you outside of your house. Her clothes dripped water, and her neck was burned by flames. It was an unusual sight — that was already usual to you.

— You can’t know they all taste like that if you don’t eat all of them.

— That’s stupid — she giggles, shaking her head — you don’t need to know everything to hate it.

You smiled, taking off your gloves and smiling at her.

— I was never able to see the crickets; I used to get so deeply upset about it… — You confessed, your face holding a nostalgic smile; It was a strange action in Laura’s point of view: you were so young, what could you have in the past to be longed for? — Until one day a cricket got into my room and I ran away… I’m afraid that once a person truly sees something, she will wish to go back and never see anything at all. like you, with a strawberry.

You shake your head, it was funny, confess sins to a ghost.

There was a whole life in those woods, hungry and harvest, misery and tragedy and hope, and there was birth and death.

And it's hard because you can't kill the person you were in that lifetime, but you also can't still be her. So there's just this ghost of yourself lurking over your shoulder, despising your every move, watching you sin.

— And guess what, Laura: tomorrow when I wake up, I'll have a wonderful day, and when I put my head on my pillow to sleep, I'll think again: how much happier I would've been if I had been doing this at seventeen.

When on the stage, you felt a flower fall on your feet, you got down and picked it up, recognizing it as a white lily.

You didn’t see her right away, but you felt it.

Your soul was being pulled toward hers and then your eyes went to find her, looking non-stop for someone who would make your breath stop.

Twenty five years later, and you would still recognize her blind. You would still acknowledge her presence even if all your senses were compromised, for you would only be you if there was the flame of your love for lottie inside your body.

You just hoped that the you’s of other universe’s had a more kind life to love her.

1996

The doomsday ball

You’ve never felt happier as you did when Lottie asked you to go as her date to the ball. Finally, the rainbow before the thunderstorm.

Your mother said that there were five hells — and that one of them was destined only for people like you, but you didn't care about that anymore. If hell were as warm as Charlotte's embrace, you would walk through the gates with a smile on her face.

You had always had many doubts about the Bible.

You read the verses, imagining yourself in the places of angels and heroes — even though the position of sinners, and those who sought mercy, always seemed more real to you (as if you had been born with your hands in prayer and your knees already scraped).

You looked at the saints, seeing them deprive themselves of their desires to finally find the way to God. You thought about what you wanted — Charlotte — and saw no difference between your desire and your destiny.

You smile, seeing everyone so pretty and happy, like things were supposed to be since the beginning. You take a deep breath, going to take a sip of your drink as you watch Van e Tai give a kiss.

A whole new world seems to show up in front of you.

A world of possibilities and wishes, of love and care.

A world where there were no sins, only passion.

— C'mon, dance with me! — Lottie’s arms were moving like tentacles, like a snake calling you to sin.

Eager to please, you bit the apple. Your movements were too graceful for a party, you didn't know how to move without rules to follow, without an established pattern to be guided to.

One of Lottie's hands went to your left cheek, caressing it slightly while the other was holding a makeshift cigarette Natalie had made — you wondered what would burn more: the flame she was smoking or her touch.

— You're just such a pretty little lamb, aren't you?

Lottie’s tone was condescending, but she had a playful, even flirtatious smile for you — the look of a predator who knows how to tear every piece of his prey apart.

Lottie leans closer, her nose almost touching her lover's one. You could feel the warmth of her breath on your skin. Lottie pulls your body to her.

— I just can't hide how I feel... I want you so much. I've never wanted someone as much as you, darling... — she presses her lips together as she goes in to whisper something in your ear — Your heart is so sweet...

Lottie gets even closer, her voice barely audible:

— I want to taste it.

And the closer she gets, the far away she seems. You don't know why, but the booze might have made your thoughts and vision unclear.

You smile, giggling happily, your hips moving to the music playing inside your head.

Lottie’s mouth gets close, close to your chest and, having access to your skin by the cut of your dress, she licks your chest. Gently, at first, then eagerly, hungrily. Her mouth leaves hicks on your skin, you feel the blood being pulled and released and then you feel the first bite. Her teeth penetrate your skin.

You cry out, but it's a muffed one, not out of pain, but out of relief. You get out of breath, your shaking hands going to her hair, caressing it.

While you felt your meat being taken away from you, while Lottie took what always had belonged to her, your mind was feverishing with thoughts, screaming confessions:

I cannot confess anymore, it is not enough, I need to devour my sins, to let them perish from where they came from.

Biting my tongue, I wish to bite my hand.

I want the marks, I need the flaws and claws and teeth teeth teeth

Lottie takes a step away, her eyes watery from the pleasure she had felt, her fingertips aching to touch you, her teeth aching for more.

Her mouth was completely bloody, with your red ink falling down her chin.

— You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.

You felt the urge to kiss Travis too, only to be able to feel Lottie's lips, but then Shauna kissed him and suddenly the thought made you sick.

Your head was dizzy, you missed Laura.

You sit out the ground of the cabin, not able to recognize faces or things, you can hear voices but none of them is clear. So you stay still, trying to understand why your vision was so blurred.

When your eyes truly open, you are alone. A deep fear settles onto your chest, and you start to breathe heavily, your lips quivering and bloody tears rolling down your face. You put your tongue out, tasting their salt flavor.

You did not pray that night, but you had a serious personal conversation with Jesus. You hoped he had good days, good enough to show him that life isn't just about dying for other people's sins.

#yellowjackets #itmighthavebeenlibrary #aching bones aching teeth #reader insert #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #lottie matthews x you #lottie matthews #lottie matthews x reader #cannibalism as a metaphor for love

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crying-fantasies · 5 months

Text

Killing Me Softly With His Song P3

Masterlist

Part 1 | part 2 | part 3: Calling | part 4 | part 5

There is a chirping sound outside, it catches your interest instantly, way too familiar with the surroundings to this point, way too alert all the time, it seems that your new found familiarity with your new home made it easier to discern the song out of place, Soundwave isn't home, he hasn't returned yet and that makes you hyper aware of any danger nearby, you try to look for Buzzsaw but the cassette isn't in the same place you saw him before taking a nap, the sound gets nearer by the second, is more energetic now in a frequency so high it's almost faint to the human ear, one that gets louder, higher in volume, it takes you a moment to think in almost fear of what would come when your shoulders relax, finally recognizing the meaning of such a strange song in the middle of the night, only the light of the solar cells lamps around the house helping you to see what you can of the darkness outside around you, you feel a little angry, sure, maybe a bit embarrassed too, nodding along to the tune, which is now more sweet in some sense, moving from one point of the house to another.

He is playing with you, again, mess with your nerves and see if you follow the instructions he gave, "In case I'm not here, I want you to be alert, I want you to search for protection, look out for the cassettes, for me"

Soundwave doesn't joke, not when it involves his team, when it involves you, so you choose to stay quiet, fighting the urge to tell him that you could do better than what he is asking for even knowing is all pretended, stupid ego born from your pride, he knows better, knowing you would be frozen in place with a gun directed to your head, waiting for the most painless death if you follow what others do and tell you, be foolish enough if it means you could get out alive or someone else, he will not let you go like that, so, he has started this strange song and dance.

Simulations, creepy ones, he says those are necessary, to be as real as possible, so you know what to do, he didn't had in mind that you'll take it like a bad joke, and so it was almost forgotten for a time, because he would always protect you, he would always be there.

Except that it became worse when a former decepticon found your safe house, called Soundwave a traitor and pointed a gun at you, that was the moment you saw the real him, the one who was able to kill his opponent with his arsenal or his bare servos if he had to, the one you heard almost shout, you've never before heard him raise his voice.

At first it put you at the edge, like, okay, was that really necessary? Maybe no, absolutely no, he didn't say it out loud, he just gave you time alone, process what happened, understand what he really was and what he was really capable to do, he expected you to leave, leaving you alone to go inside the wild and try to forget about it, maybe surprised, maybe he noticed a few seconds in that you were following him, Soundwave doesn't show much with all the protection on his face, but the fact that he let you touch him and then let you hug him was proof enough, you were not leaving, he was satisfied with that and even grateful you dare to think when his servo pressed you to him, kissing him just above his visor.

It was enough, for both of you.

"Wave" such a playful tune, you feel the nickname roll off your tongue with ease, looking around the house and every window in search of any peek of his paint job or the subtle red light of his visor knowing how hard it is to hear even his footsteps if he wants to be unseen, hearing again the song of a bird near as your only indicator of his presence.

There were a lot of birds around, sure, but no one would do that same song, not without an impromptu flight from the other side of the globe to serenade you with an intricate mating call.

"I want to see you" your request was denied, at least for now, the song changed now to soft and deep growls, almost like a hard purr from a large feline, making the few glasses in the windows vibrate with it and guiding you to where he was, slowly looking over your shoulder, the vibration was more evident just behind your body, obvious on the way it was moving around, playing with you, "I want to see my boyfriend" the denomination makes things to him, you know, feeling first hand how the hairs on your skin react to the increase of his EM field around, full of charge and static, full of need he can't say out loud but that he can imitate and show you.

Some say he is secretive and you give them an affirmative nod, indeed true, only partially, now, after having cohabitating with him for years you can say he is also timid, closed to the exterior.

The deep growls are more notorious, almost calling out to you before they change, now there is the sound of humming, a song, your own voice back, "I want to see you" it says, the same need in it as any of the other calls, "I want to see you" it keeps on, in every one of them and every step you take to the window you can sense the increase in the tone and also the increase of charge around, now moving to the door.

"Wave-" you call out, finally seeing his pede ahead, when did he got there? No idea, now just out of the main door, it makes you feel good with trembling hands, the way he can move silently around, as his huge size wasn't enough to make you feel at his total mercy.

He plays with the recording of your voice "I want- kzzt- you"

There is those noises again as he shows you his open servo, you move your shoe to clean it the best you can before getting on him, accept his offer in a way it could be understood in any animal or human language when your cheek makes contact with his mouth piece, giving gentle strokes which are reciprocated with an exvent so low you could pass as sigh from his part, finally hearing his voice after a long day, his servo holds you close and you close the contact in order to give kisses on the end of his digits down to the articulation points and back again to now lick around, he tastes as soap, of course, he took deep care in preparation, clean enough to be acceptable after a long day out in the field, "my boyfriend is so considerate", he grunts, you can feel the energy, even see drops of condensation falling, making trails on his helm as a result of the increasing warmth of his derma and armor.

You'll ask, later, why has been the reason for this strange, but not unwelcomed, approach and his decision to take you out, Soundwave likes to be with you in a closed environment, no one can see or hear, no one can reach, his digits moving along you, calm, hearing every word and sound, feeling the way your body is full of different forms, you put your hands up, a silent request for him to get near, and so he does, but he doesn't open his protection when you kiss the exterior of it.

You stop, giving a few pats on his digits, "Wait a moment, let's just..." Your legs almost give up when he let's you again in the dirt outside the house, he seems concerned by your negative reaction, it's easy for him to sense your need, your clothes remain on, out of place, you don't try fix it and that shows you still want to interface with him.

"Don't you-"

"I do" you take his servo on your hands, guiding him inside the construction at the other side of the house, he let's you, where he doesn't have the necessity to mass displace, where you can him feel comfortable on his own, "but you don't like it here, right?"

He follows you, no complaints when you close the big door after him, only silently observing while your clothing start to fall around, while you invite him near with open arms, accept him when you are most vulnerable.

Your life will be limited by this same vulnerability, your own biology, because it's way too dangerous to give eternal life to such a selfish and destructive race like humanity, you can't say the same for his own kind, there must be a reason they can be almost immortal, or maybe is all just coincidence, in the same way the evolution of life in earth was a coincidence, in the way humanity came to existence and cybertronians found them in the final years of their war, or the bizarre and curious way both weren't exactly too different from one another.

"There is too much noise" you tell him, moving along with him, touching his jaw with your fingertips with a moan ending your words, stopping the act for a moment and using his transformation seams to climb your way up to his helm, he hasn't said much, mind in other place, one that, as usual, revolved around you, "Soundwave, is everything okay?" Your front is almost over him, his visor show him how your heart bumps blood fast to the rest of your body, how your breath is strained, but you still reach out to him, try to know what is wrong, shielding him with your body the best that you can.

As always, he doesn't say much, keeping his own problems for himself, the last he wants is for you to be in the middle of the fire that is the future he wishes for and the past he can't scape from.

Before he would have never thought of running from it, but now that he has you, now that you were about to die at his side-

"Soundwave" you say his designation with authority, something laughable but not unwelcomed, not from you, he let's you embrace him, hearing your command and think of something else, no, not to think, "just let go", opening his mouth piece to let you press yourself on his open intake, exhaling long and paused when his glossa makes contact with your skin, lips kissing just above where your ribs start and the soft skin of your belly before going way down while rising your whole body with one servo.

You call out to him, over and over, if he could keep this is up, hearing your voice, feeling your presence, for all his life, he could be endlessly happy.

#reader insert #x reader #angst #tf mtmte #transformers x reader #transformers #transformers idw #soundwave x human reader #transformers x human reader #transformers x you #soundwave x reader #idw soundwave #tf soundwave #soundwave

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heinzpilsner · 1 month

Text

Okay, another part of 'Overanalyzing beach Maiko' series here! And I want to assure you that even though it looks deceptively like 'Roasting beach Mai' series to the unaided eye, it's actually not the case. The differences are here. Somewhere. Probably.

I roast Zuko too.

Anyway, in the last part, Mai said 'hey', and Zuko said 'are you cold', and Mai slapped Zuko's hand off, so I guess this leaves their relationship status in the border area.

So, what's next?

Well, despite the fact that their interactions keep going quite actively after this, we're not gonna see any real relationship progression for quite some time.

So, I suggest to take this as another opportunity to yell at study the characters instead.

And it opens with the roasting of Ty Lee.

(The structure of the beach polylogue makes it quite difficult to build a laconic presentation of the context, so... Let's just rely on our memory this time, shall we?)

Zuko: "You're stuck in your little 'Ty Lee world' where everything's great all the time." Mai: "Zuko, leave her alone."

You know, this moment almost made me suspect that Mai cares about the other girl! It would actually make my "she can't care about anyone but herself" hypothesis wrong, which would leave only one explanation for the "bring me food" moment (That is, Mai just didn't care about Zuko in particular.)

But then, after Ty Lee got emotional and cried, and there was no defender for her among their group, Mai decided it was a good time to criticize her as well.

She had a choice between expressing her annoyance (and intelligence) and sparing Ty Lee's feelings, and she prefered the former. Emotional support of her upset friend wasn't even among the options, apparently.

So, I suspect, the "defense" of Ty Lee was hardly more than another instance of scolding Zuko for being angry.

Apparently, Mai just gets disturbed (and hence annoyed) by any display of vivid negative emotions in her close circle. And if there is one thing in life she truly cares about, it's her own emotional comfort.

Simply put, Mai needs fun and pleasure, and all this dramatic shit around only sucks her energy out.

Smart choice of a boyfriend, by the way.

Pffft.

("But she said she cares about Zuko in the end!", I can hear someone protesting. Don't worry, we'll get to it.)

Mai: "I don't believe in auras." Zuko: "Yeah, you do not believe in anything."

That's a curious accusation here.

I wouldn't be surprised if there were times in the past when Zuko tried to talk about something important for him with Mai but recieved a cynical reaction.

But there's no proof for this, obviously.

Besides, as we soon learn, Zuko is not that good at identifying true sources of his frustrations.

It's still my headcanon though.

Mai: "Oh, well, I'm sorry I can't be as high-strung and crazy as the rest of you."

But... What believing or not believing in things has to do with being high-strung? This answer just sounds so unnatural in the context. As if Mai responds not to Zuko's words, but to writer's plan her own thoughts here.

(Quite a typical behavior for an egocentric though, when I think about it.)

Still, why would Mai want to change such a convinient topic? Cynical people who proud themselves on their intelligence love talking about how stupid it is to believe in things. It's basically that Mai 'auras' answer was about. And then suddenly this awkward shift.

It's a shame, actually. To me, it would be much more interesting to hear about Mai's beliefs than to focus on imaginary "not expressing your feelings" problem.

Also, I love how Mai just casually called Azula crazy. So much fear here, if you catch my meaning.

Zuko: "I'm sorry, too. I wish you would be high-strung and crazy for once instead of keeping all your feeling bottled up inside."

When. When Mai ever kept her feeling bottled up inside? When she's bored - she says so repeatedly. When she doesn't like something - she criticizes it right away or glares at you fiercely. When you make a scene at the party - she yells at you "for once" (even though she was bored and you put quite an exciting show here, which makes her reaction kinda contr-intuitive. How interesting of an interlocutor Ruon-Jian was, anyway?)

The fact that you can't find among the feelings she expresses something you looking for, or don't find their expression intense enough is a different question entirely.

The fact that she avoids discussing problems you want to discuss too.

For some reason, you just keep barking up the wrong tree here, Zuko. I wonder if you ever heard about different nervous activity types. Or different life views. Or different anything, really.

But this is not the main problem here, obviously.

Zuko: "She just called your aura dingy. Are you gonna take that?"

Yep, Mai's self-worth is not affected as heavily by other people's opinions as yours, Zuko. What a terrible tragedy.

Mai: "What do you want from me?"

A really good question. What do you want from Mai now, Zuko? A magical transformation into Katara a person you wish her to be? Or an explanatory note for thinking and reacting not exactly like you'd prefer?

Surprise, she doesn't owe you anything! Your frustration with Mai's personality is your own problem, and you'd better start asking yourself what you really can do about it.

Take your love life in your own hands, boy, and I didn't mean it like that, you perverts or stop terrorizing your not-quite-ex-girlfriend for not meeting your emotional needs.

(You still didn't apologize to Ty Lee, by the way. Kinda ooc of you.)

Mai: "You want a teary confession about how hard my childhood was? Well, it wasn't. I was a rich only child who got anything I wanted..."

Well, this part is definitely truth.

Mai: "...as long as I behaved and sat still, and didn't speak unless spoken to. My mother said I had to keep out of trouble. We had my dad's political career to think about."

Ahhh, this part though is much more tricky.

You see, for all we know, Mai's mother could just try and prevent Mai from throwing kitchen knives at her father's important guests or from saying that their make-up is abomination. Poor little Mai though would remember it as a terrible oppresion of her self-expression for the rest of her life.

More importantly though... Even if what Mai says here objectively took place in the past, I highly doubt what it's a good explanation for her demeanor.

I mean, Toph has quite a similar background, and... Did you see Toph?

Honestly, it looks to me more like a natural temperament kind of thing. It's just the way Mai is. Maybe environment affected her to a certain degree, but I don't think its influence was crucial.

Sometimes her emotions are more intense, especially during fights, but it doesn't mean she hides some kind of oppressed passionate girl underneath her languid mask or something.

So stop trying to dig her out, Zuko, it's getting embarrassing.

Azula: "You have a controlling mother who had certain expectations, and if you strayed from them, you were shut down. That's why you're afraid to care about anything, and why you can't express yourself". Kinda cheated with this one, didn't I

Okay... first of all.

Why. Just why on earth everyone keeps saying Mai doesn't express herself? Are you blind, people? Or maybe you're deaf? The Mai I know is one big walking talking act of self-expression!

The real problem here is that apart from her annoyance, boredom and hunger she doesn't have much to express in the first place. Because in reality, she's no more than a hedonistic self-centred brat whose lack of proper occupations and interests in life left her on the verge of depression.

And sorry, local beach ghost of an amateur psychoanalytic who's currently possessing Azula, but most likely Mai's mother's "tyranny" has nothing to do with it. Breaking news: not everything in human psychology can be explained by mommy or daddy issues.

I'd assume here much more prosaic explanation. That is, during the last decade, Mai was mostly focused on her school life, while in her free time, knife throwing and passive entertainments were her only hobbies. So, when the school ended and nothing else started, she suddenly found herself in a vacuum she didn't know what to fill with.

And since Mai is a spoiled infantile, she's always waiting for something to happen, or for someone to give her something to do instead of asking herself that she can do to change the situation fundamentally.

And apparently, being in "love" with Zuko is her only real entertainment nowadays. That's why she hey-ed him so soon after the break-up - Mai's life's emptiness reached the 'uncomfortably painful' stage at this point, so even the emotional discomfort caused by Zuko's behavior was more preferable than this.

And I don't know much about Mai being "afraid to care about anything", but I can say a couple of things about her being incapable of caring about anyone.

Growing up as a rich only child, Mai became used to the idea that everything around is about her. She's always focused on herself and her own needs, and subconsciously expects the same attention from other people (from her romantic partner especially).

It rarely occurs to her that people around may have their own interests, and "listening to Mai's complaints and entertaining her" are not among them. When the reality reminds Mai about the fact though, she just gets annoyed by such a nuisance.

I start to suspect now that her "are you cold" question in "The Awakening" was actually not about Zuko's comfort, but about Mai playing her unusual new role of a caring girlfriend. So, when her performance didn't get the expected appreciation, she immediately got frustrated - kind of like Zuko with his seashell, actually.

(Except that Zuko after this thought about something Mai really would want and went to get some ice cream. While the boy is not exactly a paragon of personal maturity himself, on his girlfriend's background, he honestly starts to look like one.)

Even after Mai's "I care about you" declaration, when she really tried to support Zuko in "Nightmares and Daydreams", it sounded like "I might be hungry for a whole tray of fruit tarts". It would be funny if it wasn't so sad, really. She had a vague idea that she's supposed to do something when her partner is upset, but even with it, she couldn't really break the egocentrical shell around her mind and see the difference between her own desires and desires of other person.

Pheeew. I finished.

Of course, all this doesn't make Mai a monster or something. The girl is only 16, and even if she wasn't, the way her personality was formed is a result of many objective circumstances.

If we look at the situation the way Mai's psychologist could, there's no point in blaming or shaming the girl - only to help her realize the problems with her attitudes and offer alternative ways of thinking.

But I am not Mai's psychologist. And I am pissed by how the episode ignores the real problem with the character and helps to promote the old pseudo-psychological myth that just blaming your parents is enough to "understand yourself".

My dear beach ghost, Mai is already a person with infantile way of thinking! She doesn't need an extra encouragement for accusing someone else in her problems.

It's not you who have to deal with her after this, you know.

Spare poor Zuko, the boy has a lot on his plate as it is.

Annnd I guess it's as good a place to stop as any other. We'll start the next part of 'Overanalyzing beach Maiko' right from Mai's... peculiar reaction to Azula's words. Yay.

Thanks for your attention?..

Fortunately I ignore all notifications.

#atla #zuko #mai atla #anti maiko

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