#my december break is so close i can almost taste it

[xmortuarykittyx]

Ever Locked

Part 6: What More Could You Want?

Part 5: Now You Know From What

pairing: Older!Leon Kennedy x Ex!Coroner’s Assistant!Reader

warnings: masterbating, cowgirl, peepingtom!Leon, stalker!Leon, talks of drugging, talks of sex

Dead Dove Do Not Eat

extra: gonna shoot for once a week updates for as long as i have 10 hour shifts, im hoping in december they stop. i really can’t stand this job you guys and i feel like my writing reflects how little time i have but don’t give up on me! im not giving up and i really want to get immersed into this world im creating for Leon and Reader!

Everything. I couldn't tear her down, tell her about the horrendous creatures I saw that god awful night. She didn't realize how much danger she was in, those- those people- they didn't help any. Mary, Marie, Marina- whatever her name was, she was one of those people, watching as they ate. My pretty girl rolling her eyes as the blue haired girl spoke, pointing her fork at my sweet bunny. Sweet, saccharine bunny. She was so far but so close, it's like her scent intertwined with mine, keeping her just in my mind enough for my peace to stay fleeting.

The device sits on the desk, the dark hotel room, once again, a comfort for a passing moment. Ice tapping on the glass, a sound to break the stoic silence as the glass rolls on the edge of the glass, fingers directing the liquor to tip from side to side. Screen flashing as texts spiral in. 'Leon, you're a literal asshole. Rebecca's worried and least you could do was tell us why you're in Seattle fucking Washington. Can you not get a good feel of Washington in D.C.?.', a scoff came from the back of my throat, of course. He always thought i needed to be baby sat, needed someone watching my every move like a rat in a cage. D.S.O could survive a few days while i got my plan in place. The rim of the glass pressed to the scruffy part of my bottom lip, cold and smooth before i lift it higher, downing the liquid, feeling it burn the back of my throat as a moan left my lips.

Slipping my fingers under the device, flipping it open to show the keypad. Fingers typing quickly as the buzz filled my mind. Can't lose the confidence i had quickly built, by the time my fingers had finished the message, the feeling of untouchable power slipped away, before hitting the button to send it to the woman who threw my mind in a pandora's box of thoughts. The bubble stays for seconds, then minutes. Surely, she's seen it. She hadn't been too dismissive of my return. Answering my call and talking to me, almost edging me into a state of euphoria to know that maybe, just maybe, i'd dug myself into her brain enough to keep her baited.

Thoughts of hopping on my bike and barreling to the little home, pushing my way into the door way to find her... all prettied up for that damned boyfriend she had. My head lulled into the crook of my arm, the warmth of my own skin causing a flush to come across my cheeks, heating up the skin, flushing it, bending my back into an uncomfortable arch. Wondered what she felt like, if she was still embarrassed when she stopped nude, if she'd grown confidence and thought she was as beautiful as she always had been. I just wanted a taste, a lick of her delicate flesh, watching the skin as it dimpled under my fingers, causing her eyes to roll back and her words to become less than whispers. Her needy little moans cut off prematurely as i felt for more, pressing into the skin more as she whined.

  With those questions came more, did she like the way he was with her? Was he soft and sweet on her, caressing her delicate skin with his tongue and grateful for every second he had the chance to touch her? He wouldn't have it long, not much longer and Od finally have the moment of weakness and snatch her away. Maybe drug her, maybe let her fight back. A pulling at the corner of my lips curled into a smirk, thinking of her holding up a knife and trying to stab at me, unlike the night she froze, staring from the corner of her doe eyes, watching a big bad wolf show its fangs so deathly close to the fragile bunny. To kiss death and fate so tenderly before succumbing to its hand- or in this case, a mug. The sound of her head cracking against the glass then floor rant through my mind. I couldn't help it, she was so... idiotic and pretty. A simple minded creature needing guidance in a world full of snakes and predators, looking for easy, pretty, temping prey.

  My eyes flicker to the phone once more, expecting anything, something from the prey. Nothing, not a damn thing. No 'don't message me ever again's or 'im going to call the police, Leon's. Nothing. That, that made me feel a nasty pit in my stomach, the thoughts of driving over to their home and seeing for myself what had her so airheaded she couldn't reply to a message. Maybe even see how Ryland- Ryan- touched her, was he too delicate? Did he know that she does like it rough, at least a little? Was he too rough, leaving her nervous and frightened? The thought kind of turned him on, imagining how leaving him did nothing but potentially put you in another psycho's arms.

  The thoughts became actions as the keys jingled from the grip i had on them, maybe i was still a bit more protective than i needed to be. This was for her safety, damnit. Nothing beat trying to keep those predators from her, than a predator himself. Every red light felt like it was hours long, leg bouncing, waiting for the light to change into that 'go' green. Eyes watching streetlights become blurs as the distance closes from between her and I. I can almost feel her, almost taste that sweet taste that only she can produce for my senses to take in.

  My heart ramps up as i get to the small drive way, turning off the lights to my bike, parking up at the tip of the path. Couldn't let her get a peek, she knew too much. I liked to rush things, like letting her see me and talking to her, setting up what i wanted to be a comfort, letting her know i'm not angry at her for leaving me, she didn't have to stay with this guy anymore, now. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, as i feel the ground shift, legs nearly buckling as the only window with lights stemming from it, catch my attention. Guiding my wavering stance to push forwards, as my fingers wrap around the frame, it hits me. Seeping into my ears a soft 'Ah, ah, ah, Ry~', muffled by the wall separating us, her voice was so dirty, something enough to send me straight to hell for the things i think of her. A temptress shied away into a human body.

  "Ryan~", my eyes snap up at her voice, my eyes nest pop out at the scene. "Yeah, did he make you feel this good? Bet he didn't.", Ryan's deep voice, echoing around the room as soft slaps of flesh on flesh sound out. His hands dug under her thighs as he assisted her in riding him. Keeping her pace for herself and him, watching his cock head nearly slip from her hole had my cock weeping. Her hair falling over that face, eyes closed and head back as she whined, crying silently as he abused her little cunt. How is wanted to just walk in there and force my way into those velvety walls and take what was and IS mine. Her whines were accompanied by a smack, landing on her ass as she bounced on him. "Dirty bitch- can't have me loving on you sweet and soft-", Ryan's head tilted back against the pillow, their black bed sheets all bunched up and messy. "Gotta be treated like some cheap slut.", he groaned as her hips bucked up. "Dirty bitch...", i couldn't help but repeat, seeing how her hips filled out in 7 years, watching her tits bounce and her arms tense as she struggled to keep herself upright on his cock. Her cunt- MY cunt- sucking him in with a squelching sound, her moans followed by a whimper as she lost her rhythm. "Good girl- fuck-!", his hands dig into the plump of her hip, "gonna snap my cock in half, pretty.", the huff of air falling from my nostrils fogged the glass as i hadn't realized i'd moved so close, watching as my girl, my bunny, came apart on another man's cock. It made me fucking sick.

My fingers came up, flipping the phone until it opened, scrolling to get to my camera before snapping a picture of Ryan, who now has moved to bend her over the bed, snapping his hips quickly into her. The picture was shitty quality, but it DEFINITELY got the point across as I hit the send button, patience is a virtue i never really had. Eager impatience, sheer excitement causing me to become annoying as a rookie. The muscles in my jaw ached, from biting back a moan as i palmed myself over my jeans, also aching from how tense i'd been while watching. The stiffness of my cock had be aching for some type of pleasure, pulling my jeans to my knees as i whip it out. Looking at it in the moon light, it was so flushed pink, begging to find a home in that pussy, eyes lingering on his hips as they lost themselves into a bliss, his bunny's face pressed into the mattress, just an opening from her eyes and he'd run. He felt his palm heating up as he pumped his aching cock, watching her lips part into a wince/moan. He felt his cock twitch, spilling white sticky ropes over a plant by the window. "Shit-", i hissed, realizing this is definitely evidence i was here, but it was meant to rain more tonight, he'd be fine. He always was.

  Now she didn't care to look or open her eyes while her love was blowing back shot after back shot into her right pussy. Ryan's hand ran her back, easing her up into his chest. "Good girl, my good slut.", his hands brushed down her hair, comforting her after such a rough scene. I wanted to scream, that should be me, holding her in my arms, coaxing her into relaxation. I have a house, much bigger than this that she can have entirely to herself, one I built for her. She'd be so grateful if she'd just talk to me. Just let me "repair" the damage I'd caused. I wouldn't totally rush her, but imaging a world where she was swole, child on her hip and cheeks rosy from leaning over some food she'd been preparing, her eyes wide as I walk home and get to place a huge kiss on her lips, tasting the food on her lips, as she cooked his favorite meal.

  My hand slowly pumped out the rest, watching as she reached up for her phone. Ryan holding into her as she grabbed it and yelped, she must've see the photo. The phone in his pockets dinging as he used his non cum covered hand struggling as to not drop the phone but as soon as he opens the device. Bunny's name, her contact completely, the same from 7 years ago as it flashed on the screen, he ducked, quickly, laying in a thorn bush. Damn Chris, always blowing up my fucking phone for some sort of reaching out to get me to come back or explain myself… how do i explain what i’m doing? "Fuck~", I whined, looking up as I saw my bunny close to the window looking off into the distance, looking for me as she buttoned up what looked like one of Ryan's shirts. It hurt... but what more could i want? what more could you want, bunny?

#leon kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy x reader #yandere leon #yandere leon kennedy #resident evil 2 #puppy leon #puppy!leon kennedy #resident evil x you #resident evil 4 #resident evil #re2 leon #leon s kennedy smut #leon x reader #leon kennedy fanfic #dark!leon kennedy x fem!reader #stalker!leon #dark leon kennedy #dead dove do not eat #yandere re2 leon #yandere vendetta leon #yandere re6 leon #yandere!leon kennedy x reader #resident evil vendetta #resident evil x reader #leon resident evil #resident evil leon #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy ff #leon kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy

[apprenticestanheight]

hey! i forgot to send this in before so if you can’t take it i completely understand!

i was wondering if i could request something fluffy about adam — maybe cuddling with him after a long day with his head on your chest as you play with his hair 😻😻

Comfortable, Easy, Tired Silences - Adam Stanheight x gn! reader

Hi!! I'm so sorry that this took forever--if I'm remembering correctly you sent it like,, a day after my requests closed last month and I've been meaning to do it ever since--but I hope you like it!! I have this weird hybrid-y style of fics that I've done when I read a request and I go "blurb!!" and "set of headcanons!!" at the same time, so that's what this came out as, which I hope is all right!

Fic type- fluff!!

Warnings- none!!

so,, you and Adam both have particularly stressful weeks that culminate in a very long december friday.

For you, work is stressing you out beyond belief, but you're able to have weekends off and thats most of what keeps you going to get to friday afternoon.

For Adam, he's managed to find himself a spot in a gallery near the heart of the city and brainstorming ideas for a collection, only to have it vetoed by execs three times in four days was not the best way for the week to take shape. The other day was spent taking photos in the anticipation of being able to have a break from the stress that weekend despite the urge to make sure the photos turned out perfect with the filter he's testing.

So, you get home first. You shower, pull on one of Adams shirts and a pair of his boxer shorts because his clothes are closer to the door and you kind of just want to get dressed and then plop into bed, and debate grabbing the menu for the Chinese takeaway spot that delivers to your apartment despite the fact that something about the dumplings had tasted off the last time you'd ordered from them.

Adam shows up like, a half an hour after you do?? He grabs a pair of sweatpants and a towel from the dryer before going for a shower himself, and when he comes back into the room you share, you can't help but oogle him just a little.

Adam walks in with his sweatpants somewhat low on his waist, not having bothered with a shirt. His hair is dry because he'd dried it before calling the Chinese place you'd been debating ordering dinner from and you just. you have to grin a little.

"You like what you see?" Adam asks teasingly as he further enters the room. "Ordered us dinner from Elliots--they have weird dumplings but the rest of their menu is pretty damn good. How was work?"

"It was--well, work," you shrug and Adam joins you in bed, pressing a kiss to your shoulder and slipping his hands beneath your shirt to rest on your hips. "Crappy, which is becoming the norm. How was work on your end?"

"Crappy," Adam laughs and one of your hands goes to his hair, idly running through it to calm your racing mind. "It was work, Y/N. Nothing too great, though I finally got a theme for the collection that the gallery likes. Now I just have to worry about the photos."

His head is on your chest, hands on your bare hips, legs entangled with yours, and for the first time in a week, Adam Stanheight is happy.

For the first time in a week, your mind is also at ease. You feel like you can breathe again, almost, for the fact that neither of you are so busy as to not be able to give one another your undivided.

You relish in the first comfortable silence you've had with one another in too long, running a hand through Adams hair while he traces shapes against the skin of your hips and occasionally leans up to press a kiss against your shoulder.

They're the silences that the two of you have grown to love as your relationship has progressed--comfortable, easy, tired silences where neither of you will complain if the other one falls asleep.

Eventually, though, Adam is mumbling that he loves you while he's half asleep and you're responding while in very much the same state, and the two of you fall asleep that way. Your hand in Adams hair, lips near his forehead, Adams head on your chest and his hands resting on your hips.

It's the perfect end to a very long week and a longer day even still.

#adam stanheight #adam stanheight x reader #saw 2004 #saw franchise #leigh whannell

[strawheart-pirate]

Heights

Roronoa Zoro x gn!Reader

December 1st 2023 Words: 712 CW: Modern AU / Established Relationship / SFW / Fluff / Alcohol / Fear of Heights / Kissing

You have finally persuaded Zoro to go to the Christmas Fair with you. A nice evening with eggnog and a ride on the Ferris wheel… Let's put it this way, you've seen Zoro sweat a lot, but never at the Christmas Fair.

You finally managed to go to the Christmas Fair with Zoro. It took you hours and hours of begging to convince him to take a break from his training and enjoy the evening with you. Of course, the only valid argument for him was the eggnog. Either way, you wanted to make the most of this rare opportunity.

The fair was full of life and so crowded, that you couldn't walk next to each other. Zoro had no other choice than to walk behind you, one hand on your waist to keep you close. He was a bit tense and always on guard, glaring at anyone who intruded on your personal space or nudged your shoulder while passing by. You noticed and the farther you got, the tighter the grip on your hip became. You had to do something about it. Searching for an answer, your eyes found the Ferris wheel. Yes, that would work. You ordered two cups of eggnog at the nearest stand and made your way to the attraction.

"What are you doing?" Came his low voice as you reached the end of the line and handed him his cup.

"Standing in line for the Ferris wheel." You took a sip of your eggnog and hummed softly as you tasted the rich flavor on your tongue. The warmth was pleasant.

"We're not going on the Ferris wheel. I came here to drink." He replied briefly, frowning as he looked at the Ferris wheel.

"Just this once. I promise we'll get more eggnog afterwards." You asked nicely and then a thought crossed your mind. "Or are you afraid of heights?" You teased with a grin.

"I'm not." He glared at you.

"Then it shouldn't be a problem to go for a ride with me."

"Alright."

Finally, it was your turn and you sat down in your seat and pulled down the safety bar.

"I'm so excited." You looked around with a big smile on your face. "I bet the view is amazing."

Zoro replied with a deep, low hum and looked around. The wheel started to turn slowly and you both went higher and higher.

"Wow. Look at the city. I can see the movies and even the beach from here!" You pointed in that direction and were amazed. "There's your house, Zoro." You said excitedly. You enjoyed the view as the Ferris wheel stopped at the highest point, when you noticed that Zoro was very quiet. You turned around and saw that he was holding on to the safety bar, his eyes fixed on his feet.

"Hey, are you okay?" You asked him worriedly, and when you got no answer, you put your hand on his. That was the moment when Zoro looked at you. His gaze was unstable and sweat formed on his forehead.

"Oh my god, you are afraid of heights." You realized. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"My...pride..." He pressed through clenched teeth.

"Damn you. You and your shitty pride! That was just dumb." You almost yelled at him, but he could hear the concern in your voice. You had to distract him, make him forget about the height...

A second later, you grabbed his face with both hands and pressed your lips to his. Your lips danced over his rough lips and you kissed him as if your life depended on it. You hoped it would be enough to turn the queasy feeling in his stomach into a joyful tingle. He was surprised by the sudden kiss, but a moment later he closed his eyes and kissed you back. After a while, he also put his hands on your face and the kiss became more intense and demanding.

You were in the middle of a heavy make out session when the Ferris wheel stopped for the second time and you were back on solid ground. You pulled apart and left the ride and you could tell that the tension left Zoro's body immediately. You went to a nearby stand and ordered another eggnog.

"Don't make me do this again." Zoro said with a groan and took a big gulp from his cup.

"Why? I think we both had fun." You teased.

"You call that fun?" He smirked slyly. "Oh... just wait till we get home..."

All content unless otherwise stated belongs to: ©Strawheart-pirate. Please do not copy / modify / translate / repost my writing, banners or art on other platforms. Comments, reblogs or likes are highly appreciated! Snowflake banner by ©firefly-graphics

#one piece #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x you #gn reader #fan fiction #sfw #strawheart-pirate.events #strawheart-pirate.christmas countdown 2023 #strawheart-pirate.writing

[doasyoudesireandlive]

Hearts beating as one

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader, friends to lovers, roommate AU

Summary: Cuddles and a movie with your cute roommate.

warnings: fluff, petnames, dumb humour lol

word count: 900ish

A/N: This is for @chrisdrysdale one year anniversary writing challenge! congrats honey! the theme of the challenge was "love and cuddles" hope it makes you warm and fuzzy <3

(English is not my first language, and this is proof-read by me! sorry for any mistakes)

You tug your coat, burying your nose in your scarf. The wind is icy cold, the December air having no mercy. You are on you way home to your flat after a meet-up with old friends. It was so nice catching up and you had stayed there for a few hours, chatting away about the good old days and about the present. Your friends had mostly settled down, and they kept nagging you.

“Y/N, when are you settling down? Anyone special in your life?” and so on.

You answered as you always did “I’m in no rush, and no – I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.”

They all showed you pics of various bachelors,  in an attempt to play matchmaker. You just laughed it off, but deep inside you knew. Your heart already belongs to someone else. You’re just not sure if he knows it…

Finally reaching the flat you quickly get inside. “I’m home!” You call out.

A cheery baritone voice answers. “Hi, honey! Did you have a good time?”

You smile, warmth seeping into your body. “Sure did, dear – it was great!” You take off your coat, scarf and boots and walk into the kitchen.

Bucky is standing by the stove, stirring in a big pot. You pour yourself a cup of coffee from the coffee pot and peek into the pot. “What is that?”

Bucky looks at you, laughter gleaming in his eyes. “You just came home, and the first thing you do is diss my cooking? Tsk, tks, that’s low… kitten” The last word is said so sweetly that you can almost taste it.

You look at him and tilt your head. “diss? Nah, Buckyboy, that was curiosity” He gives you a look, a faint blush showing on his cheeks.

“whatever you say, babe, whatever you say” You simply smirk, and go to lay down in the couch.

You and Bucky had been roommates for about two years now. You moved in right after a really messy break-up. Your ex, John, had been the harassing and controlling kind. Bucky had been your salvation. You had arranged the moving before you broke up with John, knowing you had to get away quickly. You had not planned to tell Bucky the truth, but the instant his beautiful blue eyes stared into yours you had to. You felt safe, for the first time in ages.

After that day Bucky had protected you many times. John came to the flat multiple times, but finally left you alone after Bucky gave him a black eye. The friendship with Bucky came easy. 6 months passed and you were besties. But something other than friendship was blooming between you. You knew it now, after 2 years, that you were in love with Bucky. You kinda want to tell him, but at the same time, you don’t wanna risk your friendship….

“Honey? Food is ready. If you dare eat it…” Buckys teasing voice lured from the kitchen. You joined him and ate with him.

“Wow, this tastes way better than it looks! Its sooo good” You praise, mouth full of food.

“Well, thank you, sweetheart. Nat gave me the recipe, its some form of Russian stew I think. “ he eyes the food suspiciously, as if hes not sure if he trusts it.

After a few seconds he shrugs and continue to eat. When youre both finished eating you do the dishes while Bucky lounge on the couch.

“Up for a movie, doll?” Bucky calls from the sofa.

“Yeah! As long as we don’t have to see The Hobbit AGAIN, I’m so tired of that movie” You can hear Bucky huff, and you laugh softly to yourself. You get some snacks and drinks and go to sit down.

Bucky has already found a movie, some new sci-fi with good reviews. He gets comfy on the sofa and gestures for you to tuck yourself into his side. You smile, and sit down. His arm curling around your body and holding you close, like he is afraid you’re gonna flee any moment. Cuddling like this came natural to you and you had spent countless hours in Buckys arms.

The movie is ok, but youre having a hard time focusing. Youre now turned bit so you are basically sitting in Buckys lap. You start to squirm, the situation making your heart race.

Oh, if you only were brave enough to kiss him now. You stare at his lips. Full, pink, and pillow soft. You are lost in your daydream when his voice pull you out. “Wanna taste?”

Your eyes flicker up his and before you know it you are kissing him. He is taken by surprise, going stiff for a half second. Then he kisses back, with everything hes got. Pouring all your feelings into the kiss, youre soon panting. Pulling back and looking at each other with lust filled eyes.

Bucky is the first to speak. “I just.. I wanna… Well. Oh darn, I love you, Y/N” a glint of hope glimmer in his eyes and you giggle “I love you too, more than you could ever imagine”

You meet in a kiss again, pouring all your love and care into it, until your hearts are beating as one.

Bucky pull back. “And by the way… I was talking about the chocolate,” he says – pointing to the mars bar on the table, with one bite taken out of it.

“You fucking moron” You say, laughing loudly – peppering Bucky in kisses.

Taglist: @animnerd @late-to-the-party-81

#tonje writes #bucky barnes x reader #fluff #roommate AU #bella'sloveandcuddlesfic #bella'sloveandcuddlefic

[almost-born-in-1893]

Hi I thought I would send you an ask to get to know you! 😊

Please tell me what is winter like in Germany? Does it snow much where you live? What do you do for Christmas? It's really hot in Australia and I love to hear about colder places!

Thanks so much for asking that's such a good question! 💙

Edit for readability: I'll break my long text down into chapters

German winter weather

I live in the North West of Germany where it sadly doesn't snow all that much during winter. Usually it just gets a bit cold (about -5 to 5 degrees Celsius) and very muddy, grey and rainy. We almost never have a white Christmas. If it snows at all it's more around February or even March or April in some cases. It didn't always use to be like that though. I'm thirty now but when I think back to my childhood there was a lot more snow a lot earlier in the year. The sad effects of climate change...

If you live in southern Germany though like Bavaria for example or anything close to the Alps you get a lot more luck with snow. They have a lot more and a lot earlier too.

German cities dress up for Christmas

I still enjoy the time around Christmas immensely though. I love cold sweater weather and snuggling up with a hot beverage on a rainy day and I get giddy when I see the Christmas decoration and lights appear everywhere. The cities usually have lights hung up over the streets and decorated christmas trees lining them.

Christmas markets and mulled wine

And then of course we have the Christmas markets where you can buy decorations and all sorts of yummy sweets and market foods and most importantly "Glühwein" (or mulled wine in English)! Mulled wine is the perfect winter drink it really warmes you up and it's sweet and spiced and just tastes of Christmas.

Advent calenders and "Adventskranz"

Other than going to the Christmas market for a mulled wine we have some other traditions to make the December extra special: I think advent calenders aren't unique to Germany, right? But it's a big part here. Many like to make them themselves and give them to there loved ones.

Then we have the "Adventskranz". It's a wreath usually decorated with twigs and branches from pine or fir trees and typical Christmas decorations like bows, little ornaments, dried oranges and cinnamon sticks. You put four candles on them and then you light one of them every Sunday leading up to Christmas. So on the Sunday that's four weekends away from Christmas you are only allowed to light one of the candles, then the Sunday that's three weekends away from Christmas you light the previous one and one extra and so on until all four are allowed to be lit. Then you know it's basically Christmas. So I guess it's a very slow and convoluted way of counting down to Christmas lol. But it looks very pretty.

Nikolaus

We also celebrate "Nikolaus". That's usually mostly for kids though. It's like a mini Christmas before Christmas. On the evening of December 5th children are expected to clean their shoes and put them outside their bedroom door. Then, if they were good and cleaned their shoes properly they find some sweets stuffed inside them the next morning. If they weren't well behaved or didn't clean their shoes they traditionally find coal or twigs in their shoes, but I don't think anyone does that anymore.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

And then for Christmas itsself every family usually has their own traditions. Germans don't celebrate on the morning 25th, but on the evening of the 24th. That usually includes having a fancy big dinner and then gathering together under the Christmas tree (which might be decorated on that day or some days before depending on the family traditions) and opening the presents. Some families go to church beforehand, some go to other events like Christmas concerts - it really depends heavily on the family. Some like to go out after the "Bescherung" (that's what we call the event of opening the presents) and go to a pub. I don't think that's in the Christmas spirit. I like to just be with family on that evening.

The 25th and 26th are always holidays. Not many people work there. They are usually for hanging out with loved ones, playing with the toys you got on the 24th, visiting extended family and going out for fancy dinners - that sort of thing.

And that's my essay on Christmas time in Germany. Thanks for reading it. I hope it wasn't too much. I just love this time of year and all the little things we do to make it special. There's so much more I could write, but that would indeed be too much.

#ask #chistmas #christmas traditions #german christmas #german christmas traditions #christmas in germany #german stuff

[hrkrkrwpfrbrbrlablblblblwhitooap]

"i don't see the appeal of his videos anymore" is a crazy take in my opinion for several reasons:

1. bro literally just admitted pretty recently that, yeah, things you might not know has more or less run it's course, so naturally this last year of weekly videos are gonna be different, for want of a better word

2. not quite understanding how it's an issue that he has an excuse to travel. anyone would want that excuse. i want that excuse

3. it makes complete sense for tom to hire a crew for videos as opposed to matt being behind the camera because, like, matt has a job separate from youtube? yeah matt being there was cool, but i really don't see the difference in videos from 2018 in regards to now

4. the most recent tom scott plus video was filmed in november, so for all we know they could've started filming very recently. or have plans to, now that his australia + new zealand run is done. i can imagine that doing several possibly anxiety inducing things on a somewhat consistent basis for over a year would warrant a decent break!

5. i definitely think tom should broaden his scopes in terms of where he does videos, but like you said hrk blog, it probably just boils down to language barrier issues, and certain filming-in-public laws

6. are we watching the same tom scott? he hit 5 million subscribers in december or january, if i remember correctly, (i could be completely wrong, i dunno, i apologize) and he's very close to hitting 6 million. i suspect it sometime this month or next month. point being, his videos are still, very clearly, appealing, if people are still frequently subscribing

7. techdif's filmed stuff recently, by the way, gary literally mentioned it on twitter and how one of the videos includes "one of the best techdif moments" or something along those lines. so if people are concerned about content droughts, that stuff is likely being edited right now!

point being, as someone who's been hyperfixated on the guy since november, his videos are still appealing. at least to me. i do personally still prefer the 10+ minute ones, as i agree, he seems more passionate, but unfortunately, that isn't his job. his job is to make videos about cool things around the world, whether it be something he finds super interesting or not. i just don't think it's entirely fair to dunk on the guy who's been providing weekly content for almost 10 years for a series that he has admitted himself has run its course and is due to become an irregular series

I mean, it's a matter of personal taste, isn't it? What you find appealing about his videos or content may not be doing it for everyone - especially considering that you said you've been hyperfixated; obviously that's going to color your take a little bit, yeah?

I'm not trying to "dunk" on Tom, merely agreeing that those are some valid criticisms you could make of the guy, and that it seems a little bit ridiculous to claim the series has run its course when there's still three whole continents he's barely touched and the channel is finally getting to the point where it could fund the resources necessary to make trips to those continents more feasible.

No one is worried about a content drought, it's just very unlike Tom to take a break as long as the one he's taking with the plus channel. He usually only takes January off, but we're now all the way to March and it's still not back, and no updates from him on why either. And knowing Tom, I'm sure he'd snap back with something weirdly hostile if anyone asked too...

[maximuswolf]

French press choices glass vs steel.

French press choices, glass vs steel. Hey all, I've started drinking coffee a few months ago and have been experimenting with various styles and equipment.My old french press was a glass one, I liked the feel of it, how you can look at the coffee through the glass and the end result was good (at least compared to a moka pot, which is crazy bitter for my taste).Unfortunately it broke, seemingly by itself, without any drops or improper use. Amazon is going to refund me so that's no biggie, but now I've been looking into something sturdier, namely stainless steel ones.I want to get something that is good quality, no plastic in contact with coffee and around 6 half cups because I don't need anything bigger (600-750ml).My issue is that almost all the steel ones I managed to find on Amazon seem to be made in China, and a lot of reviews are complaining about leaks, rust, chemical taste, not holding heat properly and so on. I know that negative experiences are posted more often than positive ones, but when the same problem is mentioned by hundreds of users, it doesn't exactly inspire confidence.Are these defects something that all steel presses have? If so, is there any glass one I can find that won't break and doesn't have any plastic coming into contact with the drink? Usually the only plastic bit is the part that closes off the top and touches coffee right before you pour it.I live in Europe so keep that in mind.Last but not least, is there any other preparation method comparable to a French press (more or less same taste/convenience) that I could try out? Submitted December 19, 2022 at 06:46AM by HeavySpaceTank https://ift.tt/kTzZePM via /r/Coffee

#IFTTT #reddit

[tackytigerfic]

Drarry ~ E ~ 3.4k

Friendship, new relationship, light D/s dynamics, shibari, some minor kink negotiation (my take on kink, I suppose), food as a love language, gardening. Some mildly explicit content below.

A birthday gift for my wonderful friend @shealwaysreads, who is always a light in a dark December.

Countdown to a Life

Ten - and we're on the balcony again

Night-time, all the lights of London laid out in front of them from the balcony of Dean Thomas’s mum’s flat, the week before Christmas.

Potter has him up against the railings, and at his back Draco can feel the bite of a high wind, the sense of a long drop.

"What are we doing?" Potter says, and kisses him again, the fifth or sixth or however-many time—Draco has lost count and doesn't care anyway, just wants infinitely more—and his mouth feels like the only warm thing in the world. Inside, there's the tinkling crash of something breaking and a roar of laughter, but out here there's nothing but each other.

"Malfoy," Potter says helplessly, fingers skating tentatively over the skin at Draco's lower back, and Draco wants to say, use my name, please, call me by my name but he keeps quiet and Potter keeps calling him Malfoy but it’s okay, because Potter's mouth is soft around the vowels and nothing about it sounds like it did when they were in school.

Nine - but now it's time to wait

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” Potter says from behind him, and when Draco turns, he can’t keep himself from a tiny noise of approval. Potter in formal robes, curls wild, mouth slightly red from wine.

“I’m not here, technically,” Draco says. “I was on security detail for the set-up, but my shift just ended. Hence my outfit.” He gestures at his uniform, watches Potter look him up and down.

“I always wanted to be an Auror,” Potter says, vaguely despairing. “You get to fight crime and you’re not the one who has to get up there and make a speech.”

“I’m sure you’ll manage.” Draco passes Harry his almost-full glass.

“Don’t,” Potter says. “I have to be sober for this.” But he takes a gulp, then looks around and swiftly raises the edge of the glass to Draco’s lips, tips the wine into his mouth, something elf-made, so rich and red that Draco can hardly taste any fruit from it.

“I can get my own,” Draco says after he swallows. “I’m free to mingle now, and I intend to take advantage of that development right there at the buffet table.”

“I just like your mouth on my glass,” Potter says, leaning back against the bar.

“And I just like your mouth,” Draco murmurs, very close to Potter’s ear, and Potter sighs deep in his chest, just the right side of too quiet to be a groan. His lips really are very red. “And anyway,” Draco says, pulling back just enough for decorum, “you’d be wasted on the Aurors. You’re too good for them.”

“Easy for you to say,” Potter answers, and his gaze snags on the bright buttons at Draco’s throat, the holster at his thigh, the droop of the collar of his starched work shirt, softening with his heated body. Under his gaze, Draco feels a feverish flush of excitement, the nervous prickle of a gentle anticipatory sweat, the imagining of hot skin against hot skin.

“The key thing,” Draco tells him, “is that you try to remember that this is your choice. You don’t have to do this. You could walk away from it all tomorrow, if you wanted. If you’re doing it, it’s because you’re choosing to do it. And that’s a very beautiful, very freeing thing.”

“I hate you,” Harry says grumpily, and Draco laughs out loud at the sulky push of Harry’s lower lip.

Eight - and there's no such thing as heaven

"You're fucking me," Draco says, and he sounds gleeful and breathless about it, though maybe it's just because Harry is fucking the air out of him.

Harry says, "Yeah, it's so good, Malfoy. Draco, it's so good," and Draco makes a soft noise like something hurts, and Harry's hand is wet where it's wrapped around Draco and it is, it is so good, and when Draco arches back into him Harry feels it down to his toes and he comes, swearing, his face buried in Draco's hair.

"It took you long enough," Draco says, and Harry doesn't think he's talking about Harry's stamina, because he sounds contented, fuck-drunk, voice a low purr of satisfaction.

"I want to do this again," Harry says, even before he slips out, still slackening in Draco, and Draco says, "I thought you'd never ask," and then there are distant bells and the muffled crack of fireworks and just like that, it's the newest part of the year.

Read the rest on AO3 here!

Photo by Anastasiia Krutota on Unsplash

#drarry #drarry fic #drarry squad #hpdm #draco malfoy x harry potter #rowing and writing #countdown #happy birthday bella!

[luvdsc]

august.

Bad habits are hard to break, and you’ve made a terrible one of loving him.

pairing :: liu yangyang x reader genre :: fluff, angst ⋮ best friend + college au word count :: 10,500 words warnings :: none. playlist :: time lapse (taeyeon) ⋆ 2 kids (taemin) ⋆ daydreams (exes) ⋆ sharing you (lany) ⋆ august (taylor swift) ⋆ too close to love (will hyde) ⋆ sad stripped (lany) ⋆ strangers (taemin) ⋆ the 1 (taylor swift) author’s note :: can you believe that i literally wrote this entire 10k fic in one day aka today ??? whew this gave me the same rush that i got when i wrote my research paper in the class it was due for the day of, printed it out during break, and handed it in at the end of class :’) ↳ part of the almost collaboration series.

Liu Yangyang is jumping fences to escape late night parties, shared laughter over childhood favorite cartoons on February mornings, midnight dancing in the refrigerator light, and November kisses stolen in between the shelves of the nearby 7-Eleven. He is obscure doodles in the margins of your physics notes, good intentions laced in December’s mistakes, strawberry lemonade and broken truths wrapped in summer bliss, and September endings with honest lies.

He is your August, he is your everything, but he isn’t yours.

AUGUST 2018.

August has barely begun to fade away.

You’re eighteen years old, and you’re drunk off of your first taste of freedom, one toe already dipping into the shiny pleasures of adulthood. Your new roommate, Karina, has excitedly told you about the famous beach night themed frat party that kick starts every school year at your university. Everybody who’s anybody would be there, and your heart already races at the thought of going to your very first college party.

“Coral or blue?” Karina holds up a solid colored neon blue bikini and a striped, bright pink one for you to choose between.

“Blue.” You nod towards the first option, and she discards the other one back into the open drawer. You pull out a marigold yellow one and a black one lined with white strings, wordlessly gesturing towards them, and she immediately points to the latter.

“That one is gonna look so cute on you. Well, both would, but I love that one.”

You grin at her, silently thanking whoever decided to pair the two of you together for the random dorming. “Perfect, thanks. Do you know any of the guys hosting the party?”

“Yeah, Dejun? He’s really sweet and a year above us. I met him in the music elective I’m taking.” She turns to take off her shirt and tosses it to the side, pulling on her bikini and wriggling into a pair of ripped jean shorts. “You?”

“Kind of? Jaemin is in my project group in Intro to Engineering. He’s rushing for that frat.” You quickly change out of your outfit and into your chosen swim top and daisy dukes. You make sure to grab a pair of black flip flops from your closet. The bundle of nerves in your stomach grows as you step out of your dorm with your new friend, a bit anxious but also excited to attend your very first party.

Thank goodness for summer weather. It’s still a nice, warm 75 degrees Fahrenheit according to your weather app when you and Karina finally make your way to the frat house. The sun barely begins to set, but the party slash dayger had started earlier and is in full swing. There’s a DJ set up out front, blasting some sort of EDM music, and the lawn is absolutely covered in foam. You see the source of it shakily set up on the roof of the patio along with a couple of boys sitting up there, Hawaiian shirts barely covering their figures. You catch the eye of Jaemin, who happily waves at you from his vantage point, and you wave back at him.

“Oh my god, I love college,” Karina says, grabbing your arm excitedly as the two of you step into the foam. You reach down to pick up some of it before flicking it towards your roommate, who squeals before scooping some up and throwing it in your direction as well.

“Ready for our first shitty college drink?” You pull her through the mass of other students and towards the horribly decorated tiki bar stationed in the corner of the patio.

“Hell yeah, let’s do it.”

The two of you stumble over, still throwing handfuls of foam at each other amidst giggles before making a full stop in front of the bar. The older boy behind the makeshift counter lazily grins at you both, a shell necklace hanging loosely around his neck, and his unbuttoned orange Hawaiian shirt gives you a nice flash of his toned abs.

“Hey, I’m Johnny. What can I get for you two?”

“Two vodka shots, please.”

“Alright, ID?”

You freeze, and Karina’s grip on your arm tightens, and then Johnny laughs, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Relax, I’m just messing with you, freshie. Two vodka shots coming right up.”

He pulls out two small plastic cups and pours out the drinks for you. “How many do you want?”

“This is good for now, thanks.” You and Karina pick up the drinks, smiling a little nervously at him. He flashes another amused smile at you. “Alright, come back anytime if you want another.”

You move away from the patio, and Karina follows close behind. The two of you throw back the drinks and dispose of the empty cups quickly. The burning sensation in your throat disappears after a few seconds, and you turn to your roommate. “Should we find our friends?”

“I think I see Dejun back there! Let’s go say hi, I can introduce you to him.” Karina drags you through the rising foam, the bubbles clinging to your skin, and when you go past the DJ stand, you feel the pounding bass reverberating in your chest harder than ever. You trek past the gate and into the backyard where the foam has risen to your waist, thanks to the enclosed fences. She taps on the shoulder of a boy with the prettiest almond eyes you have ever seen, and you shyly smile at him when he greets you.

“Hey, I’m Dejun.”

Oh my god, even his voice sounds pretty. Older college boys are definitely better and hotter than high school boys. Heck, they’re better than freshman boys. Nobody wants to date a freshman dude, not even the freshman girls.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You extend your hand, but then realize how stupid that must be. You hastily start to retract your hand, but he laughs and warmly grasps your hand. Smiling at you, he shakes it firmly, squeezing your hand gently before letting go.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

The butterflies in your stomach grow in volume as the conversation goes on, and you’re positively enamored by the end of the night. Karina had given you a look earlier before walking off with Dejun’s friend and joining the dancing crowd. With the addition of his phone number in your pocket and a promise to show you a new song he’s working on with his guitar next Friday, you’re walking on cloud nine.

“Do you want something to drink? I need a refill, and I can go grab you one,” he asks, and you’re about to offer to go with him, but then you remember the teasing upperclassman and simply agree, asking for another shot of vodka.

After he disappears, you look around, eyeing the crowd and wondering if you can spot your roommate anywhere. You bump into someone lightly and turn around to apologize. Your eyes meet a pair of curiously bright ones.

“Sorry about that, I’m looking for my roomie.”

The boy gives you a Cheshire Cat grin. He’s wearing one of those dumb Hawaiian shirts, too, and it’s unbuttoned, but he has a white T-shirt layered underneath it. “No biggie, it’s a massive party and it’s crowded. Who are you looking for?”

“Ah, I don’t know if you know her, but Karina? She went off with this dude, Kunhang, I think?”

His eyes light up at that name. “Oh, I know him! I saw him earlier by the keg stands inside. Your friend might be there, too. I can—”

“THE COPS ARE COMING!” A loud voice bellows, and you freeze up. Suddenly, the music is shut off as everyone starts running away. You start to panic, the terror rising in your chest, and the boy in front of you grabs your hand and pulls you with him. “What are you doing?! Don’t just stand there! We gotta go!”

“Wait, but Kar—” You start to object, but cut yourself off when you bump into his back as he abruptly stops. He scans the backyard, quickly assessing the situation before turning to you.

“There’s way too many people trapped in here, we’re not gonna make it to the gate. We need to climb over the fence. I’ll hoist you up, and you can help me up from there.”

“I don’t even know you,” you protest, and he throws you a look.

“Hi, I’m Yangyang, nice to meet you, I don’t want to get my ass hauled out by the police and continue the icebreakers in jail, so let’s move now. We good?”

“Yeah, okay, we’re good,” you say faintly, mind still whirling around as you try to grasp the situation. “I’m Y/N.”

“Great, now up you go.”

He immediately picks you up without any warning, and you almost fall backwards, arms flailing before you grasp the top of the fence and pull yourself up. Balancing precariously on top of it, you grab his arm, tugging him up until he’s sitting right next to you, too. The both of you swing your legs over the fence and jump down to the other side. You let out a sigh of relief, squatting down as you clutch your heart.

“Oh my god, we made it. I didn’t get arrested at my first party.”

“What an amazing accomplishment.” Yangyang brushes off the back of his shorts. “We aren’t going to jail. Freshman year is gonna be a breeze if your bar is set this low.”

“Hey!” You frown at him, standing up and crossing your arms over your chest. “How do you know I’m a freshman?”

“It’s written all over your face.” You give him a look, and he relents. “Only a freshman would be this scared of getting caught.”

“So are you an upperclassman?”

“Nah, this is my first party, too. I’m rushing for Nu Chi. Hold on, wait here.” He sneaks around the edge of the fence, peering around for a few seconds before jogging back towards you. “Okay, the police are over there. I’m gonna have to wait a while before going back in.”

“You have to go back?”

“Part of tonight’s rush process,” he sighs before turning to you. “Do you live on campus?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna walk back now,” you answer, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “It’s late, and I’m not in a partying mood anymore.”

“I can walk you back,” he offers, and you shoot him a grateful smile.

“That’d be great, thanks.”

The two of you start the trek back, an awkward lull in the conversation making itself known. You wrap your arms around yourself, shivering slightly when a soft breeze picks up. There’s a light rustling noise, and you pay no mind to it until a soft cloth is draped over your shoulders. Eyes widening, you notice the colorful, palm tree-printed button down shirt wrapped around you and the boy next to you, looking straight ahead with his hands shoved into his pockets. Smiling to yourself, you slip on the shirt, loosely buttoning the front of it.

“So, Yangyang,” you casually begin, testing his name on your tongue for the first time. You decide you like it. It’s cute. He turns to you, raising an eyebrow, and you continue, “Since our lives are no longer in jeopardy, we can continue the icebreakers, right?”

His lips curve into a smile. “Alright, shoot. What’s your first question?”

“Captain America or Iron Man?”

“Oh, Iron Man, hands down. He’s so…”

You meet him in August.

FEBRUARY 2019.

“Hey, where’s your cereal? The Reese’s one?”

February marks six months of your relationship with Dejun. It also marks six months of your friendship with Yangyang. It is time for your weekly Sunday rituals of watching old cartoons and eating breakfast, and you could’ve sworn that box was still half full last week. You rummage through the top drawer Yangyang had designated for snacks and other foods in his dorm as he takes out the milk from his mini fridge and carries it over to his desk.

“I ran out a few days ago. There’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch somewhere in there though.”

With a victorious cry, you manage to pull out the slightly crushed box of the aforementioned cereal from underneath the packages of flamin’ hot Cheetos and spicy nacho Doritos and triumphantly bring it over to your best friend. He already pulls out two bowls (which were stolen from the dining hall) and hands over the plastic spoons in his grasp (which was also taken from the dining hall).

“Thanks.” After dropping a spoon into each bowl, you shake out the sugary cereal squares before pouring the milk because you’re not an absolute heathen who puts milk in first, like Sicheng. Yangyang clambers up to his top bunk bed, and you carefully pass over the two bowls of cereal, milk sloshing precariously near the edges. You climb up afterwards, and he gives you your bowl once you settle down.

“So, Scooby Doo or Pokémon?”

“Mm, we watched Pokémon last Sunday already, so let’s do Scooby Doo this time.” He nods in agreement, pulling up the cartoon from the queue in Netflix, and the two of you lean back against the ginormous mound of pillows and stuffed animals of his that occupy nearly half of his bed.

You’re shoveling a spoonful of cereal into your mouth when he casually asks, “So how’re you and Dejun doing?”

Choking slightly, you quickly swallow. “We’re doing good. I think he booked a table at the Italian restaurant down the street for Valentine’s Day. Are you doing anything for Valentine’s?”

“I’m forcing Renjun to come watch that “‘Happy Death Day’ movie with me.” The faint sounds of the Scooby Doo theme song plays in the background as you hum in acknowledgement, mouth twisting into a mischievous smirk.

“That’s so sweet. So who confessed to who? Not gonna lie, I thought you had a crush on Hyuck, not Jun.”

“... I would shove you right now, but I just did my laundry, and rewashing my comforter is expensive and I’m out of quarters.”

You stick your tongue out at him, and he rolls his eyes before lifting his bowl up to sip the best part of having Cinnamon Toast Crunch: the milk infused with all the cinnamony, sugary goodness. You let your spoon fall back into your bowl with a soft clink, a sudden worrying thought popping into your head.

“I bought him some customized guitar picks and a pretty composition book. Do you think he’ll like it?”

“That’s a pretty basic gift, isn’t it? It feels like something Kun would get him,” he teases, but his heart falls when he notices you chewing on your bottom lip, spoon held limply in your hand.

“Hey, I’m just joking, of course he would like it. He’s completely whipped. He’ll love anything from you.” Yangyang’s voice grows softer, and he fiddles with a stray thread on his comforter, avoiding eye contact with you. “I know I would.”

He looks up slightly and sees you smiling gratefully at him, eyes shining bright. He quickly ducks his head, turning away slightly to hide the hues of pink blooming on his cheeks. He feels you leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder with a quiet sigh, and his breath hitches in his throat.

“Thanks, Yang.”

Replaying the sight of your smile in his mind makes his stomach flip flop, and he resists the overwhelming urge to tell you you’re pretty, pushing it back into the farthest crevice of his mind.  Your head on his shoulder makes him feel like he’s carrying the entire world, and he doesn’t know what to do. He paints on a tight smile of his own, silently hoping you can’t hear the way his heart nearly pounds out of his chest.

Yangyang knows that having feelings for his best friend, specifically one of his good friends’ girlfriends, is something he absolutely should not be doing, but he can’t help it. His stupid heart refuses to listen to his brain. For now, all he can do is desperately hope that this dumb crush of his goes away soon because while 99% of his friends are oblivious (including you), Ten and Donghyuck are not. They’ll be able to spot his feelings from a mile away, like how Kun always knows when there’s a good sale going on at the Asian supermarket downtown (This week, it was the 50% off bean sprouts and chili paste).

Letting out an inaudible sigh, Yangyang carefully rests his head on top of yours. Clutching the empty bowl with one hand, he shoves his other one under his thigh to stop himself from reaching over and tangling his fingers with yours. He stares at the screen, watching until the bright colors blur together.

“Anytime.”

He likes you in February.

AUGUST 2019.

The earth spins around the sun for another time, and August makes its presence known once again. It’s Thursday night, and you’re sitting on the countertop in Nu Chi Theta’s kitchen, swinging your legs back and forth as Yangyang struggles to make some scrambled eggs because the half filled carton of eggs the two of you managed to find is the only thing that isn’t expired (besides Jeno’s protein shakes, but neither of you are gonna touch that cardboard tasting monstrosity).

“Maybe I should make it.” You peer over at the frying pan, wincing when you see the full damage of your future meal. “Did you use oil?”

“Of course I did!” he exclaims indignantly before pitifully pushing around the nearly charred mess of yolk and whites around with his spatula. “I’m not Mark.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you mutter, waving your hand around to dissipate the acrid burning smell, and Yangyang throws you a dirty look. He grabs a fork and stabs a small chunk of the eggs. Picking it up, he brings it closer to his mouth before hesitating. His eyes dart to you, and you raise your eyebrows at him, a silent challenge in your gaze. The sad piece of egg hovers in the air for a few more seconds before he defeatedly drops it back into the pan.

“Okay, what if we just Uber Eats some McDonald’s?” Turning off the stove, he then tosses the remnants of his cooking into the trash and drops the pan into the sink.

“Stellar plan. Best idea you’ve had all night.” You hop off the counter to stand next to him, propping your chin on his shoulder to see him pull up the app. He immediately puts in your usual order along with his before holding it up for you to see it better.

“Looks good?”

“Looks perfect.”

He clicks the confirmation button, and the delivery is set to come in 30 minutes. You’re suddenly hyper aware of how close you are with your chest pressed against his back and hastily move away, warmth spreading across your cheeks.

Glancing over at your best friend, you don't miss the way Yangyang smiles down at something on his phone before his fingers fly across the screen. When he looks up, you immediately turn away, focusing your eyes on anything but him.

“Hey, you’re going to the Alpha Sig formal, right?” Yangyang calls out, and you throw on a teasing grin.

“You mean Alpha Sigma Psi, also known as the sorority I’m in?”

“Ah, right, yeah.” He flushes, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “But you’re going, right?”

You nod, the sudden realization creeping up on you. “Oh yeah, I am, thanks for reminding me. I completely forgot to ask, but do you want t—”

“Ningning just asked me to go with her,” Yangyang blurts out, and you freeze, failing to hide your shock for a split second before you regain your composure.

“Oh wow, that’s great, Yang! I’ll see you there then.” You try to give him a convincing smile. He wrings his hands, biting his bottom lip. Something is on his mind. You can tell. He’s not someone to hold back with his words, but this time, he is.

“I… I don’t know if I’m gonna go,” he says at last. Your heart picks up a little at that. Does that mean he doesn’t want to go to the dance at all? Or does he not want to go with Ningning? If you asked him now, would it make a difference?

“I’ve never slow danced,” he confesses, leaning against the opposite counter, and your heart drops. So that was it. Of course, he wouldn’t reject Ningning. She’s an absolute goddess, heck, you wouldn’t say no if she asked you either. You stamp out that last flicker of hope.

“What if I suck at it?” he continues, absentmindedly carding his fingers through his hair. “Oh god, I bet Yukhei and Kunhang are never gonna let me live it down. I can do choreographed dances, but I’m gonna mess up over a stupid slow dance. But where am I supposed to put my hands?! Like on her shoulders? Her waist? Do I hold her hand?”

Your eyes follow the way his hair ruffles slightly, and you wonder if it’s as soft as it looks. You swallow hard before saying quietly, “I can teach you?”

His hand pauses mid-movement, and your eyes fly down to meet his. His eyes widen, and he contemplates your offer for a split second before nodding excitedly. “Yeah, that’d be great! Can you teach me right now? While we wait for our food to come!”

“S-sure,” you stammer, flustered at the sudden acceptance and his eagerness. “Um, here? In the kitchen?”

“Yeah, why not?” He shrugs before straightening up. “The lights should be dimmed, right? We can kind of mimic that here to set the mood or whatever.”

He goes over and fiddles with the light switch, flicking it on and off, and you laugh, walking over and placing your hand over his. “What are you doing? Some kind of Kevin Nguyen mating call to look for a rave bae?”

“First off, I’m offended that you think I’d be one of them,” Yangyang narrows his eyes at you. “Secondly, I’m trying to make this feel more formal dance-y. Oh, wait!”

He turns off the lights for the last time and reaches over to pull open the refrigerator doors, the artificial fluorescent light pouring out and mixing with the faint beams coming in through the window from the street lamps outside. He grins at you, satisfied. “Romantic, huh?”

You roll your eyes, but the amused smile on your face gives away your true feelings. “Wow, Romeo, you swept me off my feet. The food is gonna go bad, and Kun is gonna kill you for the high electricity bill.”

“What food? Jeno’s protein shakes probably never expire.” He snorts before standing closer to you, his hands resting on either side of you on the counter. You can see the pretty gold flecks in his irises, and your breath gets caught in your throat. “And I guess this means you gotta teach me fast before we waste more electricity, right?”

You place your hands on his chest and lightly push him away, and he laughs, stepping back. You let out a shaky breath, remembering that your lungs need oxygen in order to, you know, continue living.

“Okay,” you clear your throat before pulling out your phone and putting on a slow song. “Ready?”

“You chose Ed Sheeran? Thinking Out Loud? Really?”

You raise your hands up defensively. “Hey, he’s the king of sappy slow songs that all girls want to be played at their weddings for their first dance.”

When your legs don't work like they used to before,

And I can't sweep you off of your feet,

Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?

Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

“Is this the song you want played at your wedding?” He raises an eyebrow at you, and your face grows warm. You ignore the question, and this time, you’re the one taking a bold step forward, a few centimeters now separating you and your best friend. You see his Adam’s apple bob as he gulps lightly before meeting your eyes.

And darling, I will be loving you 'til we're seventy,

And baby, my heart could still fall as hard at twenty-three,

And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways.

“So, your hands go here.” You take his hands and place them on either side of your waist. His arms freeze up. “Relax, Yang. Precious cargo here.”

He lets out a chuckle, loosening his grip as he starts to relax. You reach up and slide your arms around his neck, interlocking your fingers. You gaze back at him, saying softly, “Now pull me closer.”

He does so.

Maybe just the touch of a hand,

Oh me I fall in love with you every single day,

And I just wanna tell you I am.

“And now follow my lead. We’re going to take one step. And then another. We’re just slowly turning in a circle.”

After a few spins and steps, you stop leading and let yourself be led. Yangyang continues to hold onto you carefully, and you can hear him muttering a 1, 2, 3, 4 count under his breath until he finally gets the hang of it. He grows a little braver, pulling you even closer.

So honey now,

Take me into your loving arms,

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.

“Are you going with Dejun?” he asks quietly, and you stiffen at the mention at him before shaking your head.

“No, we broke up in July.”

Yangyang falters in his step before recovering. “Oh. You never told me.”

“Yeah.” You struggle to keep your voice level. “I just… he’s your friend, and I didn’t want to make it weird.”

“You’re my best friend though,” he says firmly, looking you directly in the eyes. His grip on your waist tightens. “It’s his loss. That dumbass just lost the best person who’ll ever come into his life.”

You give him a tired half smile, one that doesn’t quite meet your eyes. He hugs you closer to him, wrapping his arms around your waist and securing you against his chest. You rest your head in the crook of his neck and hope that he doesn’t feel how quickly your heart beats in your chest.

Place your head on my beating heart,

I'm thinking out loud,

Maybe we found love right where we are.

“Thanks, Yang,” you whisper, your breath tickling his skin. He envelops you tightly, and the two of you continue to spin in slow circles, quietly dancing in the refrigerator light as the remaining verses of the song warble in the background.

You think you finally understand what Dejun meant when he said he’s breaking up with you because your heart was already occupied by someone else.

You fall in love with him in August.

NOVEMBER 2019.

[ 12:54 a.m. ] yang 🐏🤪: hey you up?

[ 12:54 a.m. ] yang 🐏🤪: 7/11 in ten mins?

Tiredly rubbing your eyes, you stumble out of your dorm building, one of Jeno’s sweaters draped over your figure. November nights are cold, but this one seems chillier than usual. Yangyang stands near the front steps, and he stiffens up when he notices whose hoodie you’re wearing. He makes no mention of it though when you join him.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” He glances over to you as the two of you walk side by side to the small convenience store just on the edge of campus. You shake your head, shoving your hands into the front pocket of your sweater.

“I was up cramming for midterms. I could use a break anyway,” you shrug. A wisp of your hair falls in your face, and Yangyang starts to reach out to fix it, but forces himself to keep his hand by his side. You reach out to carelessly brush it away, tucking it behind your ear.

“What about you?” You look over at him, noting the bags under his eyes. “Rough night?”

He smiles tiredly at you, shoving his hands into his pockets as he kicks a stray pebble along the sidewalk. “More like rough week. Two more midterms left, and they’re for electromagnetic theory and linear systems.”

“Oh god, good luck. I took linear systems today, and it was absolutely brutal.” You wince, brightening up when you see the familiar neon orange, red, and green lights up ahead.

“Maybe I should just withdraw and take it again next quarter,” your best friend grumbles, kicking the stone as far as he possibly can.

“You really want another quarter with Hwang?”

“You’re right,” he sighs, “I just need to get a C+ to maintain my GPA. C if I’m pushing it.”

The two of you hurry over to the 7-Eleven, quickening your pace, until you reach the store doors, and you pull them open. Entering quickly, you push the door open slightly wider, and Yangyang slips in behind you. The cashier doesn’t even look up, texting away on his phone. You make a beeline towards the chips aisle, grabbing a bag of flamin’ hot Cheetos and a pack of sour gummy worms.

“What are you getting, Yang?” You call out over your shoulder, eyes zeroing in on the Red Bull stand at the end of the aisle. When you hear no response, you halt in your steps, turning around. Yangyang stands in the middle of the aisle, looking dazed under the fluorescent lights.

Putting your items back on the shelf, you approach him, reaching out and touching his arm gently. “Yangyang, what’s wrong?”

He jerks back before silently holding up his phone for you to see. There’s a slew of text messages from Ningning a few hours ago, and a quick scan tells you all you need to know. Your heart weighs heavily in your chest when you look back at him, a forlorn expression on his face.

“She dumped me,” he says quietly, shoving the phone back into his pocket. “She said our relationship was like a friendship. She didn’t feel anything. She said we could still be friends if I wanted to be though.”

He jabs a large bag of Lays potato chips angrily as his voice raises slightly higher. “But I don’t get it. Do friends take each other on dates? Do friends spend the night? Do friends hug each other and hold hands walking to class? Do friends spend three hundred dollars to do a surprise weekend trip for their birthday?”

He whirls around to face you, and he’s so close that you can see those pretty golden sparkles in his eyes again. Suddenly, his hands are cupping your face, and the next thing you know, he’s kissing you. Your eyes widen for a fraction of a second before they flutter shut, and you press your lips against his. The 90s pop station music playing overhead seems to fade away, and all you can focus on is that your best friend tastes like spearmint gum and grape soju. He pulls away abruptly, the realization of what he’s done finally hitting him as his chest heaves up and down.

“Do friends kiss like this?”

His voice is barely a whisper, but it cuts through the silence. You feel like you’re spinning out of control, a split second from careening and crashing.

“No, we—they don’t,” you mumble, and Yangyang sees the starstruck look in your eyes, and he wants to apologize: to say sorry for kissing you. But he doesn’t. Because for some reason, he doesn’t feel sorry. He closes his eyes, curling his hands into fists before exhaling slowly. He sees you looking back at him this time, and he wonders if you feel as equally lost as he does.

Because you’re right. Friends don’t kiss each other like that. Friends don’t feel like this about each other.

He kisses you in November.

AUGUST 2020.

The sun still shines bright late into the day, and August greets you like an old friend. You’re absentmindedly doodling in the margins of your notebook designated for Quantum Mechanics. Yangyang sits next to you in the lecture hall, making a bunch of origami cranes before tossing them at Renjun’s head right in front of him. When the bird reaches its target for the sixth time in a row, the annoyed boy whirls around in his seat, glaring at your best friend.

“Stop that,” he hisses, and Yangyang innocently raises his hands in the air. Renjun angrily frowns at him before turning back around in his seat. After a few minutes, Yangyang flicks another crane towards his friend. If this was a cartoon, you would see steam blowing out of your friend’s ears. You silently watch as he wordlessly picks up his phone, seething as he presses on a particular number.

Suddenly, Travis Scott’s SICKO MODE starts blasting, amplified by the large auditorium-like room. The professor goes silent, and everyone turns to see Yangyang scrambling to pick up his phone. He fumbles around for a few seconds with it before finally shutting it off and putting it on vibrate mode. Cheeks burning red, he meekly puts his phone back in his bag and squeaks out a “sorry” before sinking down in his chair (You can see the culprit grinning like the cat ate the canary right in front of him. Karma’s a bitch who also goes by the name of Renjun).

You pat his arm consolingly as he sulks next to you for a few minutes, mouth jutting out into a pout. You decide to take pity on him and lean closer to him, whispering quietly, “Would it make you feel better if I bought you boba after class?”

Immediately, he brightens up. “One oolong milk tea, half sugar with white pearls and coconut jelly?”

“Yes, I’ll pay for your overpriced drink,” you huff, thinking about how his one seven dollar drink could buy you a whole rotisserie chicken that’ll last you a week. At least the fluffy dog at Cloudy with a Chance of Boba is cute and fun to play with. “I’ll even get the honey waffle fries.”

“Heck yeah!” he whisper-yells, fist pumping quietly before he suddenly deflates. “Wait, I can’t. I promised Lia I’d get lunch with her.”

Ah, right, there’s Lia now. Yangyang’s new girlfriend: the only other student who went to Düsseldorf, Germany to study abroad over the summer, and inevitably, the two of them became close. All you really know about her is that she’s pretty, she’s in Iota Theta Zeta, and she followed you on Instagram a few weeks ago (of course, you followed her back because of the unspoken best friend and girlfriend policy).

Her page looks carefully curated, and there’s a common pink tinted theme going on throughout her feed. She has over a thousand followers, and it seems like Yangyang fits perfectly in her magazine curated life, judging by how he occupies nearly every picture taken in the summer with her or how he’s tagged as the photographer. You can’t deny that they look good together, pointedly shoving the green eyed monster back under the bed.

You take a peek at your messy Instagram page where you only post pictures when you’re half drunk, so there’s no semblance of uniformity anywhere. You shrug at him, pocketing your phone.

“No biggie. I’ll see if Karina is up for some boba. She’s been holed up in the dance studio already, and it’s only week two of classes, can you believe it?”

“I remember Ten was the same way,” Yangyang hums, eyes fixated on his phone and fingers tapping away. He laughs quietly, lips curling into a pretty smile, and you glance over curiously.

“What’s so funny?”

“Hmm?” Yangyang finally tears his eyes away from his screen for a split second to look at you before another buzz takes his attention away. He’s distracted, lovestruck, and you wistfully smile before turning back to your notes.

“Sorry, what’d you say earlier?” he loudly whispers a few minutes later, and you barely glance up from the large bulbasaur doodle you’re in the progress of completing right next to the chart marking the wave functions for a bouncing ball that you had copied down from the blackboard.

“Oh, I just asked what was so funny,” you murmur, coloring in the flowers you drew around the Pokémon with your blue ballpoint pen.

He looks confused for a moment before lighting up. “Oh! It was just a German joke. It’s not really funny if I translate it though.”

“Got it, no worries.” You notice the professor starting a new example problem, and you abandon your drawing, focusing on the formulas rapidly filling up the chalkboards in front of you. A quiet chuckle echoes in your ears, and you pause in your note taking to look over and see your best friend still typing on his phone. You make a mental reminder to create a copy of your notes for him later on when you pass the library on the way to the dining hall.

“Hey, Y/N.” Yangyang nudges you gently. “Rain check on the boba?”

You offer him a soft smile. “Of course. Anytime.”

He gives you a quick grin in return before his attention returns to the device in his hand—or rather, the pretty girl behind those texts. Your best friend is sitting right next to you, but you’ve never felt so far away. You know distance makes the heart grow fonder, but you don’t think it’s possible to be even fonder of him than you are now. Bad habits are hard to break, and you’ve made a terrible one of loving him. No wonder it’s beginning to hurt so much.

You lose him in August.

DECEMBER 2020.

December is the coldest month of the year, yet it is also simultaneously the warmest with all the holiday festivities it brings. If Yangyang were to choose a month to describe you, it’d be this one. You are a walking paradox, a conundrum he might never solve, an oxymoron come to life. He doesn’t understand how you can be his best friend, yet feel like a stranger; a friend who he wants as a lover; someone who has created such an impact in his life, but disappears seamlessly here and there.

He wonders when you’ve gotten so distant. He wonders why he never noticed the way you seemed to slip away through the cracks until it’s now nearing the end of the year, and the last time he’s seen you in person was before the November autumn break.

But you’re here.

You’re standing right next to the punch bowl filled with spiked eggnog, wearing a garish knitted button down jumper with brightly colored Christmas lights decorating it. It’s perfectly in theme with the Ugly Christmas Sweater party Nu Chi is holding, and Yangyang is beyond ecstatic to know that you’re attending. He had texted you an invite two weeks ago, and you merely reacted with a thumbs up.

Yangyang swears he was going to follow up with you on that, but he got so caught up with midterms, then meeting Lia’s family for Thanksgiving, then studying for finals, and then finally, preparing for this party. Buying enough beer for twenty-three keg stands is a lot more difficult than it seems (Donghyuck’s car broke down halfway during one trip, and they all had to carry back the packs of beers to the house in 40 degree weather in their Sperry boat shoes and Patagonia long sleeves that definitely weren’t cut out for this kind of weather).

His girlfriend is somewhere in the room, wearing the other half of the reindeer sweater she forced him to put on, but all he can focus on is you. He hurriedly makes his way over, skidding to a stop in front of you, and you’re startled before a smile spreads across your face.

“Hey, you, I haven’t seen you in a while.” You grin at him, reaching out to poke the reindeer tail sticking out from the front of his itchy sweater (Lia got to wear the head half of the reindeer, while he was stuck with the behind).

“Yeah, how have you been?” He reaches around you to pick up a cup and pour himself some eggnog. He offers you one, but you decline with a small shake of your head.

“I’ve been doing good, a bit tired with finals coming up, but what’s new?” You joke, grabbing one of the sugar cookies from the table. You’re secretly surprised that they actually have real food (No, Hyuck, Jell-O shots do not count as real food). You suspect Jaemin has something to do with it. He always contributes to the annual Greek row bake sale.

“Are you here with someone? Did Karina come?” he asks, curiosity coating every word. He looks around for your roommate, but she’s nowhere to be found.

You shake your head. “No, I actually came with—”

“Me!”

Yukhei bounds over, slipping an arm over your shoulder. He hands you a new cup of apple cider, which you accept gratefully. He grins happily at Yangyang, who freezes up at the sight of his tall friend. “I asked her to be my date for the party, and she agreed. She also made our sweaters! Aren’t they so cool? There’s even lights that spell my name and play Christmas songs. She did a bunch of cool programming tricks to make them work.”

Yangyang realizes with a start that the two of you are indeed wearing matching sweaters, and that leaves a rather sour taste in his mouth (and it definitely wasn’t because of expired eggnog). The corners of his lips tilt downward as he presses his lips together tightly.

“So… you two are together?” He gestures between you and Yukhei with a forced laugh. Jealousy never did look good on anybody, and unfortunately, he’s not an exception.

“We’re just seeing each other and seeing how it goes for now,” you answer quietly, noting the way your best friend reacts. You have always been good at reading him, and you tread carefully now, not wanting to make a scene. Drunk Yangyang never holds anything back, and he’s had quite a few pre-game shots already (It definitely doesn’t help that he’s a lightweight, too).

“I see. How did you guys meet? Or I guess, start talking?” He attempts to look intimidating, staring down at Yukhei, but it’s a difficult feat to accomplish, especially when he’s trying to stare down a six foot guy who’s more like an overgrown puppy and his friend.

“Oh, she came by for one of your boba runs, but you were still out with Lia. So I asked if I could go with her.” Yukhei flashes his pearly whites at you, and you chuckle, leaning your head against his shoulder.

“I said yes, and we hit it off, I guess.”

“You guess? And you took him on our boba runs?”

“You were out with Lia,” you say defensively, and he blanches when he hears his girlfriend’s name come out of your mouth.

“You could’ve waited,” he mutters, but you still hear it, and you give him a scathing look, finally too tired of this push and pull game that’s been going on behind the scenes for nearly three years now.

“I did. I waited over an hour here for you, but you didn’t show up or even text me that you were gonna be late. Yukhei was nice enough to offer to go with me.”

He stays silent, and you gnaw on your bottom lip, unsure of what to say next. Yukhei looks at you in concern, but you reach up and squeeze his hand reassuringly, which your best friend doesn’t fail to notice, his lips pressing into an even thinner line.

“I don’t understand what the deal is,” you finally burst out, startling both boys. “What’s the big deal about me and Yukhei going out?”

Something inside of him finally snaps. “The big deal is that you’re basically sleeping through my list of friends and then breaking up with them! First Dejun, then Jeno, now Yukhei? Who’s next? Should I give Renjun a heads up? Pencil you into his planner? Or Sicheng?  Sungchan? You have a class with him, so you’re bound to flirt with him, too, right? When are you gonna stop fucking around with my frien—”

He gasps, stopping mid-outburst as he stares at you in disbelief. Apple cider slides down from his hair, dripping onto his face and soaking into his sweater, the sticky juice clinging to his skin uncomfortably. You’re absolutely seething, the empty cup crackling in your clenched fist. Shocked, Yukhei carefully tugs the plastic away from you and places it on the table before replacing it with his own hand, his thumb caressing circles on the back of your hand soothingly. Yangyang doesn’t dare to meet his furious gaze, lifting his chin to look at you instead. The entire room has hushed down by now, all eyes staring directly at the three of you in a mixture of surprise and slight terror.

“Screw you, Yangyang,” you say lowly, voice shaking with anger. Tears form on the edge of your waterline, but you blink them away before hastily brushing a stray droplet from your cheek. “They asked me out. I said yes. We went out. It didn’t work out. We move on. Just like how you’ve gone out with my  friends. And they didn’t work out, so you moved on. So what’s so wrong about that? What’s so wrong about trying again to find love?”

He can’t answer you, curling his hands into fists until his fingernails indent miniature crescents in his palms—until the pain overtakes the feelings that are threatening to spill from his heart. Yangyang may not be yours, but he doesn’t like the fact that he can’t call you his either.

Love. That’s what you want, that’s what you crave, but not if it’s from him. So what is he supposed to do with love that’s unwanted? It’s bursting at the seams, and he has nowhere to hide it anymore.

He loves you in December.

AUGUST 2021.

August sneaks up on you this time around, and you find yourself in Kunhang’s apartment. All of your close friends are here, starting the last year of youth with one final first day party. You think back to that day three years ago: when your eyes met a pair of equally bright ones for the first time.

Curled up next to Yukhei on the couch, you look across the room and meet those very same eyes, although they seem hazier this time around. Lia is wrapped around his arm, and you think it’s quite ironic how both your and his relationships remain the same after all this time. Perhaps you both were bad luck for each other, leading to the other’s demise with short lived relationships. He looks away from you.

The rules of truth or dare are simple. You cannot ask the same person again until three other people have been asked first, and no one can be asked more than three times in each round. And, for reasons you can’t understand, everyone seems to take the code of truth seriously.

“I’ll start,” Kunhang announces, leaning back in one of the several beanbags he has in his place. “Goeun, truth or dare?”

Goeun sighs, leaning back on the palms of her hands. “Dare.”

“You and Mark, seven minutes in heaven.” Hendery points towards the coat closet, and the immediate reaction of hoots and wolf whistles has the girl rolling her eyes. With an exasperated huff, she stands up and pulls a red faced Mark along with her.

“Wait, you gotta pick the next person!” Donghyuck calls out, and she stops in her tracks, throwing open the closet door and shrugging. “You can choose for me.”

With that, she and Mark disappear behind the door, and Donghyuck turns toward the rest of the group, eyes glimmering mischievously. You pay no attention to him, absentmindedly playing with Yukhei’s fingers. You tug one of his rings off his finger, and he smiles, plucking it from your grasp carefully before holding your hand. He carefully slides it onto your right ring finger, but it falls off. Grinning, he pretends to try it on every single one of your fingers until finally settling on your thumb. The ring fits snugly there, and you admire it, wriggling your thumb around.

“Well, look at that. It fits you. I think that means we’re meant to be,” Yukhei says, smiling broadly, and you laugh, interlocking your fingers with his again before glancing down at the silver engraved band resting on your finger. The weight of the metal feels heavy resting against your knuckle.

“Yangyang, truth or dare.”

Donghyuck’s voice cuts through your thoughts, and you instinctively perk up in your seat at the sound of his name before freezing up in your spot. Yukhei squeezes your hand softly, and you tighten your grip around his fingers.

“Truth.”

“You’re no fun,” Donghyuck sighs, slouching back against the armrest. Yukhei leans over and whispers something in his ear before settling back next to you, shifting slightly to wrap his arm around you. Donghyuck lifts an eyebrow at your boyfriend before shrugging. “Okay, here’s an easy one. Are you in love…”

“Yes.”  is his immediate response, and you notice how Lia absolutely preens next to him.

“… with Y/N?”

Your breath hitches in your throat, and you immediately turn your head to look at Yukhei, your eyes growing wide in horror. He looks apologetic, shoulders drooping. “I’m sorry, but just the way he looks at you, it’s so obvious, and I had to know.”

You whip around to face the boy in question. With bated breath, you look at him, but Yangyang stares at the center of the floor, struggling internally. Everyone is quiet, and it reminds you of the calm before a storm. At last, he looks up, gazing right at you, and you can almost swear that you see those pretty little gold flecks in his irises from here.

“Yes,” Yangyang confesses quietly.

There’s almost a collective gasp rippling through the room, and Yukhei lets out an inaudible swear under his breath. Your grip on his hand grows slack as you fumble to get a grasp on the entire situation.

He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.

The words echo in your mind like a mantra until it grows so loud that you can’t hear any of your own thoughts anymore. Lia is in absolute hysterics, demanding an explanation from him, but he merely shrugs her off. Standing up, he quickly moves to leave the room, glancing at you one more time before disappearing out the front door.

It’s like your body is on auto-pilot after this. You drop Yukhei’s hand, immediately standing up and rushing after your best friend, paying no mind to the hushed whispers that only seem to increase in volume once you leave. You step out onto the porch, and there he is, sitting on the steps.

You quietly stand behind him, contemplating what to say and carefully choosing your next words. But there’s only one question on your mind.

“Why did you say that?”

He stays silent for a moment, staring out at the moon shining brightly ahead. “Because I meant it.”

Your heart wrenches in your chest. “You shouldn’t.”

He finally turns to look at you, an indescribable look in his eyes. It reminds you of heartbreak. “But I do. And I tried not to for the past three fucking years, but I can’t anymore.”

“Since freshman year?” You feel the tears well up in your eyes, and this time, you let them go. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Yangyang grips onto the edge of the stairs tightly, frustration ringing with every word that falls from his mouth. “Because I was scared. And I thought you never felt the same way. You’re my best friend, and I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Yang…” You whisper, hand reaching out as you let it hover over his shoulder for a few seconds. Then, you pull back, curling your fingers into fists, pressing crescent indentations into the palms of your hands.

He stands up, whirling around to look at you, desperate. “Tell me I’m not too late. Please, Y/N.”

Something inside of you breaks. You open your mouth and start to say something when the door opens behind you. Turning around, you see Yukhei. His eyes widen when he sees the two of you standing there.

You know this is it. This is the moment. This is where you have to decide.

“I, I was just looking for you. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Yukhei awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, taking a step back. “I’m sorry, I’m gonna go back in and—”

“No, wait, it’s okay,” you gently interrupt him. You reach out and slip your hand into his, and he relaxes, giving you a relieved smile. You smile softly back at your boyfriend before turning to face him, eyes apologetic.

“I’m sorry, Yangyang.”

He and you are asymptotes: two lines curving towards each other, but never touching; two hands reaching towards each other, but never interlocking; two people tangling their red strings of fate, but never tying.

You give him one last glance before going back inside with Yukhei.

You break his heart in August.

SEPTEMBER 2021.

September is supposed to be a new beginning: the transition from summer to autumn. Yangyang doesn’t think he can let go of you as easily as the trees shed their green for gold and red. Wherever he goes, wherever he looks, little reminders of you bloom in every crevice. You’re absolutely everywhere and nowhere, and it drives him crazy.

He thinks he’s gone completely insane when he hears your laugh while he’s walking to the laundromat one day. He shoves his airpods in and continues on his way until he sees you. Walking across the street, there you are. You’re on the phone with someone, and he contemplates going over to say hello. But suddenly, you’re hanging up the phone and waving eagerly at someone. When he turns his head to look, his heart drops and gets buried six feet under. He hurriedly ducks into a nearby bookstore and watches as you run up to Yukhei, slipping your hand into his like it’s second nature to you now. The two of you walk off together, and Yangyang is left standing at the window of the store until the shop owner politely asks if there’s anything he needs.

He doubts a time machine is something they have in stock, so he silently shakes his head and steps out onto the street once again. It is now silent and empty.

He loses you in September.

AUGUST 2022.

A lot can change in eleven months.

You’re twenty two years old, but you feel like you’re eighteen again. You know you’re going to see him for the first time since September at Kun’s housewarming. You had repeatedly assured Yukhei that you’d be fine. After all, life goes on; the world doesn’t stop just because you had a falling out with your best friend, even if it may have been a little more than that. Nevertheless, a year has nearly passed. Time is known to be the best healer, and perhaps your heart has shed its old skin and habits.

Your hand is safely enveloped in Yukhei’s, and the two of you walk towards your older friend’s new apartment. He playfully swings your interlocked hands back and forth, and you giggle, tightening your grip around his fingers. You stop in front of the door, the muffled sounds of a party slipping through the cracks. You suck in a breath, shoulders tensed. He’s in there.

“Are you okay?”

Yukhei squeezes your hand gently, voice laced with concern. You remember to breathe, exhaling slowly and relaxing before nodding. You smile up at him. “I’m okay.”

“If you want, we can go back home now, have another NCIS marathon, and drink this by ourselves.” Yukhei waves around the nice bottle of wine the two of you had brought for Kun. “We can even stop by the convenience store and get some ramen.”

You laugh quietly, the corners of your lips upturning with mirth. “It’s okay, I’m fine, Yukhei, I promise. Plus, I have you, right?”

He brightens up at that, practically beaming at you, and your heart skips a beat. “Right!”

You reach out and knock on the door. Kun greets the two of you, and you enter his apartment. Yukhei still doesn’t let go of your hand, and you follow behind him as you weave your way through the living room, greeting some of your friends. You hear Kunhang calling out to your boyfriend from the kitchen and feel him hesitate next to you. You squeeze his hand gently before letting go and nudging him in the direction of his friend. Yukhei gives you one last look, but you wave him off, smiling goodnaturedly and silently assuring that you’re okay. He swoops down and leaves behind a soft kiss for you before going.

You walk over to the alcohol table, pouring yourself something to drink. Leaning against the wall, you take a sip of your drink, your eyes flitting over the rim of your cup and slowly scanning the room. It feels like forever, like everything is moving in slow motion, like the world is submerged underwater, but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds.

You find him easily. After all, it’s hard to forget someone whose features you’ve memorized over the past four years. Your eyes map the delicate outline of his face once more, and for a moment, you wonder if red is still his favorite color, or who he shares a carton of Ben and Jerry’s with nowadays. You wonder if he thinks of you sometimes, too.

But then, you wonder where Yukhei is. You search around until you see your boyfriend still standing in the kitchen, laughing at something your mutual friend said. Your eyes soften when you see him grab your favorite snack. You turn back around, your heart swelling in your chest tenfold, and your lips curl upwards, an endeared expression on your face.

That’s when you notice that he’s looking at you.

You brace yourself, waiting for the tidal wave of emotions to wash over you and the quickening of your heart rate to greet you like an old friend. Because that’s what always happens when you’re around him. After all, he is the biggest what-if in your life. He is someone you almost loved forever, someone you almost stayed for.

And yet, nothing happens. You wait a little longer. The world still goes round, and you’re still breathing. There’s no shortness of breath, no erratic heart palpitations, no sweaty palms, absolutely nothing. Liu Yangyang is a stranger in a familiar body, and your heart remains still.

You give Yangyang a faint smile, nodding towards him, and it feels like a sudden jolt in his heart. Time stops, and all he can see is you. You look beautiful. You have always been beautiful. This is his chance. Whatever higher entity out there has taken pity on him and given him a second try to make it right. He finally takes a step towards you, and the tender, encouraging expression in your eyes gives him the strength to take another one. After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul. Clutching his drink in hand, he pushes his way through the crowd. He’s only eight, seven, six, five steps away from you now. A smile grows on his face as relief curls around his heart like a bandage. You’re standing there, waiting for him, smiling at him.

And suddenly, you’re no longer looking at him.

You stopped looking at him.

Yukhei makes his presence known next to you, excitedly chattering about something and gesturing towards the kitchen as he hands you something to eat. It’s a snickerdoodle cookie. Your favorite. Your eyes are fixated on the tall boy, positively sparkling as you beam at him.

Yangyang feels like he can’t breathe. The bandage is ripped off, and all he can feel is excruciating pain like a thousand pinpricks into his heart before the numbness hits. He freezes, rooting himself in that spot on the scratched hardwood floor as his colleagues and friends continue to jostle around him. As his world crumbles around him, he can’t tear his eyes away from you. They stay on you, the barest traces of nostalgia lingering in the dimmed golden flecks of his irises that you had still admired all those months ago. It’s like he’s trapped in a silent film, stuck in a fish bowl and swimming in circles, and he watches in horror as you outstretch your hand and intertwine your fingers around Yukhei’s, leaning up to press your lips against his tenderly. Your boyfriend looks at you like you hung the stars in the night sky yourself (He would believe it if you said you did).

You don’t look at him like that anymore.

Yangyang remembers when you used to. When you used to love him. When you were almost his. He feels something inside of him break for a second time.

The world continues to spin, and yet, he’s still not moving. He’s stuck in quicksand, sinking deeper and deeper as everyone around him moves on—as you move on. He desperately tries to keep you in his view, and his feet finally pick up as he lurches forward. He’s not fast enough. You’re slipping away, walking away from him, hand in hand with Yukhei, disappearing around the corner of the hallway, and he can’t do anything about it. It’s too late. He’s too late. The sticky remnants of cheap beer run down his wrist, and it finally registers in his mind that he had crushed the flimsy plastic cup in his hand sometime in between now and then. In a crowded room full of people, he’s left standing there, alone and lonely.

Almost is the worst way to love someone, Yangyang bitterly realizes. It hurts to lose someone you almost love. No, it was never an ‘almost’. He most certainly loved—loves—you. And it should be impossible to lose someone who was never his to begin with, yet he has. All this time, he thought he had you, but it had always been the other way around.

He was your August, he was your everything, and he is yours.

But you will never be his.

You let go of him in August.

#yangyang imagines #yangyang scenarios #nct imagines #wayv imagines #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #yangyang fluff #yangyang angst #nct fic #nct fluff #nct angst #wayv fluff #wayv angst #nct fanfic #nct scenario #yangyang x reader #liu yangyang #yangyang #nct #wayv

[eremiie]

Fic where y/n has a threesome with Levi and eren😗

can you finish these papers?

❥ 8k words | nsfw | levi x reader x eren

❥ you have some work to finish but you also have somewhere to be, so what’s the harm in handing it off to eren? only, eren ends up needing help with your work, and both eren and levi decide to help you out.

❥ content: threesome, double penetration (vaginal/anal), choking, lowkey cuckolding but not really, slight praise kink, semi-public sex

❥ note: i actually made one back in december so i will simply give that to you now, enjoy <3

"eren!" you called for the brunette, watching his body turn around just before he rounded the corner of the complex, a small smile gracing his face at your figure. you ran up to him, his arms wrapping around your small frame before you could topple over him.

"hey, slow down." the fabric of his button up crinkled the stack of papers in your hand in the slightest before you picked yourself up. he took it upon himself to draw you in closer engaging you in a brief hug before letting you go, causing you to smile at the small gesture. "why are you running?"

"oh, i wanted to catch you before you went to the cubicles." you bit your bottom lip, slightly embarrassed at the fact that you in fact we're running around an office complex to catch him. "i needed you to sign off these papers, and then finish up the rest for me, some of them aren't in my field but i was given them anyways." you held up the papers to your chest and dropped them, eren's eyes following. he took in your appearance; you were wearing a blazer one piece, as if it was a skirt and a blazer warped into one in the bright shade of white, the fabric coming down to a little more than above your knee. trailing down your legs you had a medium handbag in your left hand in a black color that matched your heels.

you were so gorgeous, is what he thought to himself. you never failed to dress to impress at your job, and he never failed to miss greeting you in the morning's when you would come into the building, your normal routine was you and him making coffee together, and on the days you were late he'd make yours for you, cold brew with caramel flavored creamer and a teaspoon of sugar every time. he liked you, but he didn't realize it until one day armin pointed it out to him.

you were seated with him at a meeting, and eren couldn't stop staring at you, the only person seeming to realize being armin, the intelligent coworker of yours that you seemed to only see time to time, and mikasa who was very observant in general; especially with eren.

"you like her!" armin squealed at eren after the meeting during your break. mikasa didn't fail to give a disapproving look at eren, during the ordeal.

"you do. but i'm not surprised. you don't even know her. you only like her for her looks, eren." she added on to armin's comment, eren furrowing his eyebrows at his coworker.

"i don't like her, i just think she's nice guys, and i actually have talked to her, multiple times, so i don't just like her for her looks, mikasa." he crossed his arms and mentally waved the two off. "you don't even know if we talk or not, you're in the complex over." his irritation was clear and he was beginning to walk off, mikasa hesitant to follow.

"eren if you like her that's okay! i'm all for it, and if you want a," armin nudged eren's shoulder playfully with a joyful smile. "wingman i can help you out."

eren grimaced at armin and pushed his arm down with a shake of his head. "armin stop, i don't need a wingman, i don't like her, and i don't need you trying to watch who i talk to mikasa." eren's voice raised in the slightest causing mikasa to step forward in front of armin. she looked down at her watch on her wrist and looked back up to eren with a motherly expression. "break is over in five minutes. let's go."

eren muttered something inaudible under his breath but let mikasa push him forward by the small of his back with armin trailing behind so they could leave the small break area.

so yes, he did like you, and only realized and admitted it to himself after that day, yet he would never admit it to his friends. mikasa would constantly be on his ass about every little thing and armin would try to gain intel on the relationship in retrospect. seeing you genuinely made his heart warm, and he was never afraid to be more than touchy with you, yet he didn't know exactly what move to make.

"yeah, i can do that. do you need them by a specific time?" he grabbed the papers from your hand, letting his brush against your dainty fingers for a slight moment, and he loved the way you grinned at him.

"no, no take your time, bring them by whenever. i have something to do anyways so please, take your time." he nodded his head at you.

"no additional information i need to know? nobody specific to give these to or anything?"

you didn't really think about your response, just wanting to get the papers off your chest. "nope, it's all in the papers, do whatever you want or whatever it says, you're the man."

he chuckled and held the papers up to confirm to you that he'll get everything done for you, despite his own workload. "alright, see you later then?"

"yes, of course, i'll see you later, eren, thank you so much!" and you were off as quick as you met up with him, heading over to the elevator, him watching you leave.

eren couldn't stop smiling to himself on his way to his own office, it was on the same floor as yours, yet the two of you weren't walking together. he assumed like you told him, you had something important to do and that's why you left some of your papers off to him, as the two of you were in the same business field in general compared to others like armin, mikasa, who were in the building next door.

finally, eren was sat at his desk skimming through the papers you gave him. he made two piles, one of papers he simply needed to sign off and transmit to someone above him, most likely the line manager, maybe the director or counselor, and another with work you actually left him to complete for you. mostly phone calls, documents to file and appointments to schedule. he sighed to himself and decided to just sign off the papers to pass on quickly, maybe he'd even be able to stop by your office on the way back to let you know he did some of the work and spark up a conversation.

meanwhile, you were making your own way to another office. you knocked on the door a few times, a small smirk on your face already.

"come in." the voice like silk answered and you wasted no time opening the wooden door.

"levi, hello." you hummed with the same grin you gave eren, just earlier. you closed the door behind you and watched levi study you briefly, rolling his chair out from underneath his desk. his eyes glanced from his desk to you and then back to his desk, getting up and grabbing miscellaneous items, going over to place them on a shelf so it was clearer. "always the clean freak." you scoffed stepping closer until you were right in-front of the plain desk, your fingertips brushing the surface that you've been fucked over countless times. you bent down and placed your purse onto the floor beside his desk. "did you miss me?"

levi went back to sitting down, giving you a one over, taking in your appearance as well. if you were to say so yourself, you were proud of your attire as well, it was giving you a confidence boost, and you got compliments when you wore it almost every time, not to say you wore it a lot.

"heichou? why are you ignoring me?" your voice was flirty. he still hadn't spoke a word to you, yet you knew he was fine with you being here, more than fine. you weren't genuinely being a nuisance, you just wanted to rile him up a bit. you and levi were always like this, not many people spoke to him, as a matter of fact you can't recall much people being willingly enough to talk to him. he was more threatening then the manager, erwin. yet your curiosity didn't fail you when you took a shot at him. both you and hange didn't let his sly remarks, or his little choice of words scare you away, or the death glare he'd shoot in your directions make you shy away from him, and maybe he enjoyed that a little bit.

but the difference between you and hange was your relation to him. an amazing friend you were to him, he even willingly gave you his number when you asked. you nor him were one hundred percent positive on how the situation came to be but you could remember (and you were sure he could too) the first time it happened.

after the first time, every once in a while you and levi would participate in sultry endeavors. you had him wrapped around your finger and you might've been the first girl to at that, although he had you wrapped around his too. not to mention the couple times the two of you didn't fail to fuck at work, levi always feeling more guilty than you after. it was a way to relieve stress for the two of you, and even if you wanted to, you doubt levi would allow you to get any closer to him than you were, not that it bothered you. he was like an onion, lots of hard layers to try and cut through, even after being so close with each other. you never asked why either, his feelings seeming to deep to dive in, and a little much for your carefree self to handle.

"the nicknames not working either?" you strode over and slowly placed yourself in his lap, making sure there were no signs of rejection or anything that would indicate he wasn't in the mood. your legs now were swung over either side of him and your head was leveled with his. "can i?" small fingers brushed up the side of his face, and he involuntarily stiffened in the slightest, even after so many sessions.

he locked his eyes with you and let you lean in to connect both of your lips, a sweet taste of his earlier tea still on his tongue, and only then did he finally place his hands on your lower back, bringing you forward and letting your hips meet his fervently. you tasted of coffee and it blended in perfectly with the herbal taste of his mouth that you swallowed up. moving your hands from his face to his neck, your arms hung over the back of the chair. you pulled back to catch your breath.

"so you're just playing hard to get today?" you smirked, placing your hands over levi's own hands. "do you want to make this quick? i'm not really busy today but how about you?"

finally, levi spoke to you for the first time that evening; "just a meeting with erwin near the end of the work day, in a couple hours."

"you couldn't go a couple hours if we wanted to." your playful remark didn't go unnoticed, and neither did the way he pinched your sides harshly, a yelp coming from your mouth as he picked you up and sat you on his desk.

"only because your shitty ass would be passed out after a few rounds." his eyes gleamed slightly at your charming expression after his joke that made you laugh. you threw your hands back around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss, happy with the way he kissed you more excitingly this time. your tongues and lips danced in a hungry manner and he could feel the happiness radiating off of you. after all it has been a while since you last got to have time with the man.

you trailed your kisses downwards, letting them meet his sharp jawline and then even further until you pecked his adam's apple, it bobbing under your warm lips, and then further once again until they were met with his collarbone. his hand flew to your hair as you continued your administrations, biting and sucking at the thin skin surrounding his collarbone, him holding back his groans, although you could imagine his expression; eyebrows pinched together and his mouth hanging open in the slightest.

deciding to help him out a bit, his suit jacket was thrown off his shoulders onto his chair earning a hard glare from you and you quickly unbuttoned the rest of his white button up until his chest was revealed, giving you the opportunity to run your fingers around it. "hm, pretty."

his smell was distinctive, his signature cologne which you remember asking him the name for but you couldn't recall. it was a french name, something along the lines of 'de chanel', but your mind was becoming foggy and you didn't have time to remember the name at the moment.

"slow down." levi's muttered. "take off that thing." a look of amusement crossd your face, your upper lip perking up and your eyebrows raising. you slowly began to unbutton your buttons one after the other, fully aware you didn't have a bra on underneath your selected outfit; of course not for any particular reason. you just thought it looked simply better without it.

"what? the blazer dress?" and levi held his stern look with you, clearly he could care less about what the piece was called, and he helped you unbutton the remaining buttons letting it fall from your front and rest on your shoulders. he admired your figure, letting his hands ghost over you soft breasts before running his hand down your abdomen and resting them on your hips. his fingers dipped under the band of your underwear, the material nothing special, probably a cotton blend, then he let the pads of his index fingers rub against your hips before pulling them down and folding them to place on his chair. you rolled your eyes. "was folding them really necessary?"

"be lucky i'm even about to bend you over this desk and not making you clean up the mess you're gonna make."

you held your hands up in mock defense, eyelids raising in fake surprise at his comeback, but soon after your eyelids rose in real shock at the feeling of one of his fingers entering you, slowly becoming two. doing it yourself never hit as much as his fingers felt, they fit so effortlessly and made you feel squeamish. you lifted your head up in the slightest to watch him pump the digits in and out your cunt slowly, and clearly on purpose.

you laid back down completely groaning in response at the way his fingers seemed to itch at every right spot inside of you, yet it wasn't enough when you knew that you could have more, that you were going to get more out of him. you lifted your legs up as far back as you could without scooting your upper body off of the desk. you were laying the opposite way the desk was turned so your head hung off slightly, but you didn't mind with the sensation surrounding you.

"fuck, can you go faster maybe?"

"be patient, brat." levi spit back at you quickly, causing you to roll your eyes, but he didn't take that as an answer, curling his slender fingers up until they hit a soft spot, you sucking in a breath. you spread your legs a little more and began to grind down on levi's hands as much as possible to try and create more friction between the two of you, specifically for your own pleasure. you wondered if he was enjoying watching you sprawled out on his desk like this.

of course he was.

you didn't even realize how much he was enjoying it until you opened your eyes to watch the way his bottom lip was trapped between his teeth, and the way his freehand was palming at his self. he was watching you such a lewd expression that you would never catch any other time, and it only grew when you fluttered your eyes at him and let out another moan to draw him in more. in fact, he was so caught up in the moment that his brain was on autopilot, whenever someone knocked on his door his response was always for them to 'come in', and that's how the next moment played out; his brain moving on its own while his fingers were working inside of you.

"sir?" a low voice startled you, but not so much levi as he was so caught up in the moment.

"come in." he said, just like he said to you when you first walked in, but he realized his mistake soon after, yet it was too late. "wait,"

the door was already opening, and heavy footsteps entered the office. "sir, i have pap-"

green eyes locked with yours first thing, and the way your face was contorted in pure pleasure and how your eyes were framed on his sent shivers as well as shock down his spine. surprisingly, you weren't as embarrassed as you thought you were supposed to be because it was him, although you were in an awkward position and levi was clearly flustered and angered at the same time.

"eren..." you mumbled, he appeared upside down from the way your head was looking off the desk, eren in front of you but a distance away.

eren stood there an unreadable expression on his face, but you could see anger through his movements, translated through the way he gripped the papers in his hand a little harder than usual, the paper folding under his hands. or maybe by the way his left eyebrows would twitch, hm, or maybe the slight glare that you couldn't tell who it was directed at.

levi on the other hands anger was way more evident, his face red from either the activity at hand or at how flustered he was. his fingers were stilled in you but they were still curved and rested against your g-spot a little harshly while his other hand stabilized him on the table. "jaeger,"

"i had some papers to drop by." he slightly cut levi off, which wasn't usual... why wasn't he leaving as soon as he witnessed what was going on? as a matter of fact, you were slightly worried on why you were the calmest one in the room although it was you who was upside down on with your tits hanging out and a finger between your lips.

"get out." levi hissed, nails digging into his palm as his fist sat on his desk, beside your phone. but that wasn't the only thing painful, not to mention his dick straining against his dress pants.

eren attempted swallowinh down his slight irritation and frustration, instead letting his gaze flicker down back to your body. he struggled with watching your chest heave up and down, clearly aching for this to be over so levi could keep going. the way the white fabric of your dress was draped across your shoulders yet revealing of everything in between, and the faint scent of sex lingered in the room. your finger playing with your lip and your legs spread open for... levi, was simply a sight.

he wished that was him.

he couldn't be mad at his line manager, he was the one who dictated how well he was doing to the actual boss, he was the head of the branch that you and eren were under.

"why are you still standing there brat? get out." levi's eyes were dark yet he refused to make eye contact with eren, who huffed in a breath and turned towards the door.

he thought for a minute.

"i'll tell."

you and levi's eyes slightly widened, you raising your eyebrow at his sudden demeanor. his voice was a bit lower and he was still facing the door, a bit spacey if you asked yourself.

"ere-"

"let me join."

you snickered in amusement. of course you'd be the one taking the biggest toll but if you were being honest it didn't bother you that much. you liked the thrill and anticipation of the possibility of being caught, and eren was cute, always a sweetheart to you and looking out for you and your work. he was the reason you could divide your work load. why not reward him? in all honesty, if he were to make a move on you independently you probably wouldn't have been one to say no. levi on the other hand...

"i'll tell erwin that you're in here fucking a staff member." this was light for eren, he really wanted to yell at levi for being the one to have you a mess under him, and wanted to be angry at you because you were allowing it to happen, his jealousy was definitely getting the best of him, and he was sure levi would probably beat his ass later for even making the proposition. he felt like a little kid, and felt even worse for the subtle blackmail. it felt stupid to even be asking for such a request, i mean he would never really tell, he just wanted to get a feel of you, feel you around him any which way.

"eren." levi's head lowered further. "i'm going to kill you."

eren's lips creeped up into a small smile. he took that as acceptance and he closed the door, this time locking it for levi and walking forward towards the desk. his smile was slightly reciprocated by you, feeling excitement rush through your body. sure you've been with a lot of people and were slightly know for being an overly friendly person, but a threesome? never.

despite levi's stiff form, still still fingers, and the annoyance seeping off of him eren wasted no time unbuckling his belt in front of your face. the hem of his black button up falling out of his pants as they dropped to the floor, his boxers going along with them.

"doesn't really matter to me if i can feel her pretty lips around my mouth."

oh, how bold of him.

you clenched. yup, yes you did, and you were sure levi felt it, your walls fluttering around his fingers at eren's choice of words. he was hung right in your face and you strained your neck a little bit to push back on the table so you could get a better position for him. he looked down at you still seemingly irritated but a little excited. he caressed his fingers under your jaw, his thumb pulling down on your bottom lip.

"can you open up for me, please?"

your smile was evident now. levi wasn't very vocal during sex as far as you knew, so the exchange and opposition in personalities was a new experience for you. levi began to move his fingers again as you hummed in response  and opened your mouth for eren. he slipped his dick into your mouth flawlessly and the angle helped your throat open up much more, not that you had trouble with that anyways.

eren's groans were so pretty, the feeling of your mouth circling him was heaven sent and he had to support himself with the table while he settled in your heat. "fuck," he moaned out while trying to reach the back of your throat only for a split second before letting you do your thing.

"you're gonna have to shut the fuck up. i'm not getting caught because of your shitty ass." levi's pumps were slower now, and you continued your grinding to get him to speed up while trying to cater to eren who was too in bliss to even care about levi's remark.

"mm," was eren's response and it made you laugh around him sending small vibrations up his cock, causing him to gasp and his hand to fly back up to your jaw, massaging your chin unconsciously. you were having slight trouble breathing and all you could see from your angle was the floor and the inside of eren's thighs, his skin a pretty tan, but in all you decided to close your eyes to enhance your pleasure and eren's.

levi began to quicken his pace in a rough manner, adding a third finger and continuing his administration's, using his freehand to fumble with his own pants and belt until they collapsed from around his waist while he abused the sweet spot inside of you. more moans continued to spill from you and eren began his own pace inside your mouth simultaneously while levi pushed to make you cum.

eren's free hand snaked from your jawline to your throat and he essentially used it as leverage while he slipped in and out your mouth, almost slipping out completely then pushing as far as he could every time. spit dribbled down the side of your face from your position and his assault and you silently prayed it didn't get in your eye. "this shit feels so good," eren groaned, his eyes closed as he basked in the pleasure you were giving him, using you as he pleased. "this is what i was missing out on? this is what he got to do?" he rambled on and levi glared at him while his words barely processed in your head as you focused on trying to breathe.

"shut up, you're gonna turn me off." levi continued to go faster and you could feel the warm sensation building up in your lower stomach, your legs aching from their position, continuously open as far as they can go so you could feel his nimble fingers inside you as deep as possible. you knew your legs would be cramped and feel like jelly later.

a whimper elicited from you while eren used your throat, and eren laughed at levi, yet he couldn't tell if he was being serious or not.

your legs were beginning to shake and you used your free hand to rub your clit but levi's hand grabbed your wrist before you could help yourself to an orgasm. "no. you really think i'd let you get off that fast?" you whined but it was slightly covered by the gags eliciting from your throat as eren got rougher, hand closing in around your neck and you could feel his fingertips tightening around it. he also seemed to relish in the feeling of your throat bulging the deeper he went, causing a mantra of curses to leave his own throat.

once you calmed down a little on levi's end he continued to go faster again, this time your wrist to your side pinned by his hand. he was doing it on purpose, hitting that sacred spot inside of you repeatedly while watching your actions to determine whether or not you were close, by the way your legs would push further out, or the way you would arch your back, or even the feeling of you tightening around him in anticipation for something bigger, then he would pull out and relished in the whine that would leave your mouth every time.

"ev... ah..." his name sounded so distorted coming from your mouth when you had eren filling your mouth up.

"he can't hear you like that, sweetheart." eren taunts, pulling out and and rubbing the head of his dick against your swollen lips. "what is it?"

"i can't, i need to cum." you pleaded, raising your head up so that you could see levi's fingers inside of you preparing to get you close to your high for the umpteenth time. eren stared in admiration at you and at your begging expression.

"tch, help him finish first so i can fuck you." levi was relaxing now that he was in too deep, and you could tell. he seemed to be enjoying putting you right on the edge, or maybe he was punishing you for eren's arrival, but that was in no way your fault. you sighed impatiently and laid your head back down so eren could slip back in.

"you want me to make this quick for you?" eren's hand was on your cheek now with a look you'd give to a crying newborn baby, almost as if he was in awe, maybe pity, or maybe he was patronizing you. you weren't used to being so submissive to one, let alone two people, so you were surprised at how rapidly your responded, a fast nod to the head. "'m gonna use that pretty throat of yours for a few more minutes, alright?" another hum in response to eren and you closed your eyes again in anticipation, deciding to ignore the spit and lewd noises while levi added a fourth finger but went pretty slow.

eren pushed into your throat again and stayed as deep as possible for a couple seconds. "shit," he furrowed his eyebrows before pulling out and then repeating the process. "i'm close, i'm so fucking close." you helped push eren over the edge by attempting to swirl your tongue around his dick and hollowing your cheeks. the last time he pulled out you chased him, your lips puckering around his head and sucking. he went in once more and you licked up a specific vein that lined the side of his cock and then he spilled in your mouth. "oh, fuck, fuck!"

you sat up as he pulled back and propped yourself up on your elbows, forcing yourself to swallow his seed, as you were at work and didn't want too much of a mess to clean up. plus levi would've probably killed you, already seeming upset. although, levi kept to his word, he clicked his tongue and pumped his fingers in and out of you hard and fast again to build that pressure back up, letting go of your wrist to rub at your clit and not forgetting the spot that made your eyes rolls back and your stomach curdle until you yourself were coming as well with a too loud moan, that you prayed the others in the building didn't hear. "levi!" you called out, his name leaving your lips flawlessly causing his lips to part with a sigh and your juices coating his fingers. he pulled his fingers out from you and your and eren were both mesmerized by the amount of slick that gave his fingers a shine.

although the site in front of him was beautiful, eren was jealous that that wasn't his name coming from your lips like that.

and levi was irritated he was still untouched.

"my turn." levi grumbled, as you sat up your chest heaving up and down. you were sure you looked a mess, dry saliva and cum all over your face, and your throat left dry and abused, not to mention you didn't even want to know what your hair looked like. you lifted yourself off the counter and threw the dress blazer that was under you onto the floor, and swore you saw levi twitch, probably contemplating whether or not to ruin the moment by folding it or something.

"awe, heichou was being patient. that's a first." you joked, and eren came around and sat up onto levi's desk in your previous spot letting you lean back onto him while he was trying to catch his own breath after such an intense orgasm. he was slightly confused by the nickname but it gave him the impression that this has clearly been going on for a long time. "so what do you want me to do, boss?"

with another click of his tongue levi opted to show you instead of tell you. you turned around as levi lined himself up while you stood facing eren for support as he sat in front of you stroking himself and deciding to just watch for now, still surprised he was even getting to have an experience with you.

"then i'm gonna fuck you." you gasped as you felt levi rub against your folds and then enter you bottoming out at once. he's been inside you so many times yet every time still felt somewhat new and refreshing. he fit so perfectly inside of you like a glove and you loved the way it felt every time. you sighed in relief when you felt him buried to the hilt and eren's hand tightened around himself at the noises coming from you. he was studying your expressions well, knowing that he'd embed in his mind the noises and faces you were making for later.

eren brought his hands up to your face and pulled you in for a kiss to swallow up your sounds. "you know you did so good?" he praised you using his thumbs to rub your ears before kissing down to your neck. "that's the best head i've gotten in a while."

your mouth dropped open and you let out the quietest "eren," as he pulled you closer and levi fucked you harder; he wanted to hear 'levi' not 'eren'. eren relished in this though and sucked at your neck, sandwiching you between the two boys, you using eren to hold onto, and levi drilling you.

"yeah, i like when you say my name like that." you couldn't help but notice how expressive he was, and you loved it. his lips formed those words against your skin and you grasped onto his black button up to hold yourself up some more. eren let go of your face now having a free hand to go back to stroking himself. he watched as your eyes fluttered and struggled to stay open, and levi loved the way instead of your eyes, your cunt fluttered around him. his grip on your hips was strong and his fingertips were going to leave some type of imprint in your skin. the sound of skin slapping against each other was so apparent and a turn on for eren.

"hey," eren let go of himself and connected your lips once more before leaning in towards your ear. "you think you can take two people?" his voice was low, almost like a whisper but loud enough that levi heard it too, causing him to stutter in his movements at the thought and you to have a mini double take as well.

"oh fuck," you sighed resting your elbows on eren's knees while your chin rested against his shirt and you opened your eyes to look up at him.

"if you can't let me know, no pressure." his smile was warm, too much like the same grin he gave you earlier when you handed him those papers. one of his hands pat the top of your head before raking the rest through your locks and then tugging on your ponytail slightly. "i'm just curious to know how much you can take. you've been such a slut today... i didn't know you were like this." your head was jerked to look more up at him causing a strain on your neck and you let out a small mewl in response.

levi looked up at you trying to determine what your response meant while eren caressed your jaw again, something he seemed to really enjoy. it made it feel more intimate for him and gave him the slightest hope that he could have a little more of you another time.

"how?" you mumbled against him. eren's hands cascaded down your back until his ring finger prodded at your hole causing it to clench slightly making him chuckle.

"well i'll be here," and then his hand groped your ass before bringing it back up and kissing you once more. "and he'll be there."

"i... i can try?" your audible response was more of a question and it was mainly the result of the way eren stared down at you. gosh were his eyes absolutely gorgeous, the closer you were to him the better they were to look at even through the blur of your eyes from the sensations around you. emerald green rimmed by a jade with flecks of the ocean littering his eyes. as a matter of fact his whole face was gorgeous, his brown hair swept back into a half assed bun with strands of hair sticking to his forehead was still attractive to you somehow even though it looked like he didn't try at all.

"hm, sir?" eren looked up, his 'sir' coming off as more mockingly and levi's infamous glare wasn't afraid to look at eren again. "it's what she wants."

"are you sure this isn't for your own fucking fantasy?" you assumed levi's comment was a joke but his tone was too serious to tell, so eren brushed it off as well as you. "come here." levi pulled out and hesitantly sat back in his own chair. "get on top of me." you obliged and crawled into his lap, lining the two of you up again and having him bury into you all the way again.

"you don't have... anything, right? to help her?" eren asked reluctantly but he wanted to assure no harm would be done to you. levi shook his head and gave eren a look that screamed 'why would i carry lube at work?' yet it was a stupid look considering he was in the process of fucking his coworker at work as well.

eren came up behind you rubbing your shoulders and neck chastely, speaking again in a low tone; "we're gonna take this slow." he turned your head towards him as you leaned more against levi so eren could get a better angle and kissed you softly before collecting precum from his tip and smearing it on your entrance then letting his spit beside it before slipping one finger into you. you tensed up in the slightest and pulled away from eren's lips. eren could feel the added pressure from you and pouted. "you have to relax or this won't work." you were sure his response was trying to be reassuring but it came off as more angry.

"okay," you relaxed your body and levi pulled you closer to him not even recognizing the fact that he pecked you a kiss instead. "someone's jealous." you joked as eren slipped a second finger beside the first, levi tensing up himself at the strange feeling of eren's fingers being felt through the thin tissue that separated your two holes. you stiffened yourself in the slightest at being pushed to your limit. levi grumbled something inaudible and peered down at the site, slightly intrigued but doing a good job at hiding the fact.

"can i add a third one?" eren asked after you were more calm. he spit again so it wasn't dry. you hesitated for a minute before nodding your head and anticipating the new stretch. you weren't gonna lie, it slightly burned but it was a good burn, a sexual pain. eren slipped in his third finger even slower than the first two and marveled at the way you were taking up so much, rubbing your back encouragingly and pecking various upper body parts to keep you calm while levi himself was struggling with the added pressure, just holding you in his lap and trying not to thrust into you.

slowly eren pumped his fingers and he ached for it to be his dick instead. maybe another time he'd be able to get you by yourself and get to fuck you properly, he could only hope.

"i think i can do another one." your tone was shy as you cradled against levi's chest, quite flustered.

"oh? okay." eren responded before repeating his process of spitting and adding another finger slowly so you could adjust. one thing eren and levi could agree on was how well you were doing. his fingers pumped inside you again and you groaned at the newfound feeling, lip quivering and eyes getting teary. this time, without much hesitance after you adjusted again eren removed his fingers and placed his tip at your entrance turning you to face him. "you're so fucking good," eren brought your lips to his again before he slid into you slowly, swallowing all your gasps and he could've sworn he could've heard one elicit from levi at the pressure that was building up. he didn't begin to move until you gave him the okay and he spit hastily once more and began moving slowly, levi's pace much faster.

you felt overwhelmed but in a good way, the thrill was running through your body and your adrenaline was pumping, cheeks warm and body hot, and you could feel tears pricking at your eyes. "this... feels so fucking... good!" you struggled to get you words out but they heard you. in response eren grabbed your breast, rolling your nipple in between his warm fingers and placing his forehead against the top of your head.

"yeah, it does, this is amazing, ____, you're amazing, fuck." you could've sworn that was the first time eren had said your name all night and you loved the way it rolled off of his tongue so well, it made your heart flutter how he said it so passionately and rich while he fucked you.

levi still was adamant on not making much noise but you could tell he was feeling it too by the way his grip on your lower back was impeccably tight, and the soft curses under his breath. normally you'd be asking the other party to go faster but you didn't want to push yourself too much and relished in the pleasure given currently. you were gonna come soon anyways with an added push later.

"you're taking us so well, shit," eren cursed eyes squeezed so tightly he was seeing stars in his vision while he palmed at your breast, seemingly for his own leverage not really your own, and you probably would've laughed at this if you weren't so in the moment yourself.

"eren, levi," you panted bouncing down onto both of them hoping your efforts were working with them. "please, i'm gonna come,"

ugh, there names again went straight to both of their heads, especially eren, his hand snaking up to your neck from your boob and  choking you slightly before going to your jaw and slipping his thumb into your mouth, holding it open. "are you asking permission?" eren asked while levi followed in eren's footsteps unconsciously and this time actually choked you, his hand wrapping around your neck and bringing you closer to him, yet his eyes were closed.

"i..." you couldn't even respond to eren's question, too much going on and quicker than you could even process or realize you came squeezing both of them tight, but levi could feel it straight on and stopped for a second in efforts not to come yet. he would never admit it but the feeling was perfectly strange in the weirdest way. as long as levi's lower stomach didn't rub against your clit the oversensitivity didn't bother you too much.

"you what? speak up." eren patronized you knowing you couldn't speak well with his thumb in your mouth or a hand around your throat, nevertheless filled both ways with two dicks.

levi loosened his grip and you sucked in as much air as possible and whined. "please, can i come?"

yes, you definitely needed someone like eren in your sex life.

he took his hand out your mouth and used his wet thumb to rub circles around your clit until that same pressure built up earlier and toppled you over the edge, you coming for the third time that day, holding in your screams as you twitched on both of their dicks squeezing them tight. "lev-, ere-," you breathed heavy and collapsed on levi again while both of them quickened their pace, eren coming first for the second time and spilling into you causing levi to let out a loud groan and reciprocate.

levi pushed forwards causing you to fall back into eren who took you into his arms and turned you around so no cum got on levi's desk. while he caught his breath he used the arm that wasn't holding you up to spread your left cheek and watch you push out both of their fluid, eren biting his lip and sighing. "you did really good." he murmured in your ear while levi fixed himself up right away. talk about post-sex guilt, or maybe that was his cleanly side acting up.

usually after sex the two of you would get dressed together and you would help him clean his office but this was too much, you were tired and needed to help yourself.

levi clearly felt disgusted with himself, and you found it amusing even through your haze. "i have some cleaning to do, get your shit together and get out." was the nicest way for him put it. you didn't take this as rude considering you knew levi personally, and as did eren yet he still was slightly offended. levi pulled out a box off tissues from the shelf which he placed them on and handed it to you. "get yourself a little cleaned up with these, get your clothes on, and you too jaeger."

you rolled your eyes yet you and eren obliged while levi febreezed the room before getting started on his cleaning.

"good thing i don't have calls today. we're on break now so i'm making myself another cup of coffee to get through this last hour." you spoke mainly to yourself but still the two heard as you placed your phone back into your purse which you picked up after spraying yourself (and eren) with perfume and fixing yourself up, face cleaned up and all.

"we don't talk about this, ever. this isn't happening again, and if i even hear you utter a word about it, it's gonna be your neck, brats." levi muttered while wiping off his desk profusely. "get out." he huffed, wanting to take a hot shower, then again all three of you couldn't wait to get home and do just that.

                                  ✽ ✽ ✽

"so..." eren sipped from his coffee as did you, him deciding to follow you during the last ten minutes of your break.

"so? don't make this awkward, eren." you half joked with a small smile. "levi said not to talk about it!" you repeated levi's words mockingly, of course you cared less what levi thought.

"i just feel like this makes us closer." he chirped at your playful tone. "we should hang out or something sometime and i wanna know you and... everything." eren seemed bolder with his words after your adventure.

"you blackmailing me and levi into having sex with you counts as us getting closer?" it seemed as if eren became a little more sullen with another one of his infamous irritated looks, causing you to chuckle. "i'm just joking, eren. you have my number if you need it."

eren's eyes lit up and he smiled with a small huff of accomplishment. "alright cool..." his gaze darted towards the clock in the corner of the room. "breaks over so i'll see you, _____." there was your name again.

he began to walk off desperately wanting to leave you with a hug or a kiss but he was back into his awkward complex, nevertheless he did not know what terms the two of you stood on after that.

"did you ever finish those papers?" you asked curiously looking towards eren before he could round the corner. eren gave you an apologetic look shaking his head until his brain sparked. he smirked and looked back at you with those same aqua eyes.

"i finished in something else instead." and you swore you saw his eyes darken before he turned that stupid sharp corner and disappeared for good.

#eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #attack on titan #eren jaeger smut #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #eren x levi

[extasiswings]

Ohhh 70 (“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”) OR 93 (“You’re more than that.”) for the prompt thing, whichever you prefer! I always adore your writing, thank you so much for sharing it with us ☺️

OR? No, both. And thank you, you're very sweet. On ao3 here.

Most of the time, Buck feels like there’s no one in the world who understands Eddie as well as he does. Most of the time. Because there are still some other times when he’s completely in the dark.

And sure, okay, it makes sense on some level because they all have their blind spots—of course he’s going to have a few where Eddie is concerned as well—but they never fail to catch him by surprise.

A month after Eddie comes home from the hospital, Buck is having coffee with Carla while Eddie’s at a physical therapy appointment and he offhandedly says—

“Not sure why I never see Ana. You would think Eddie being shot would make her want to be around more, not less—”

“Buck,” Carla interrupts, a strange look passing over her face. “Honey...Eddie broke up with her three weeks ago.”

That stops Buck short, makes him feel like he’s missed a step on the stairs.

“What?” His mouth is dry. He swallows. “He—why?”

Carla picks up her cup and takes a long sip, as if she needs the extra seconds to figure out what to say, and Buck backtracks.

“No, forget it, that’s—it’s not my business,” he says. It’s not. Even if it feels a little like it should be, even if he doesn’t understand why Eddie would tell Carla and not him, even if he’s Eddie’s best friend—

Buck knows that Eddie’s a private person. He knows that sometimes Eddie keeps things close to his chest while he’s thinking them through. Eddie hadn’t said a word about Shannon until she walked into the station and aired their business for all of them to hear. He barely talked about Ana in the first place. He changed his will and sat on that information for a year—

Buck’s not upset it’s just—it feels—

The thing is.

The thing is…He’s not oblivious. He knows how he feels about Eddie. How he’s felt for at least the past two years. Like he can’t breathe, can’t speak, can’t look at him without feeling like he’s screaming with it, bleeding love all over, unable to stop it dripping from every pore. Exposed and pathetically obvious, and the whole time Eddie has just—said nothing. Ignored it, Buck assumes, because he can’t not have noticed, can’t not have seen.

And maybe sometimes Buck has wondered if Eddie wasn’t ignoring it. If he felt the same and just couldn’t say it. Because he was grieving and wasn’t ready—

But then he was. He was ready. And he chose Ana Flores.

That was the end of it. That was supposed to be the end of it. Because Buck’s not a masochist, he knows he hangs onto things for too long, but he’s been working on knowing when to let go.

Except—except Eddie got shot. Eddie got shot and Buck sat on a hospital bed and stared as Eddie said no one will ever fight for my son as hard as you and you act like you’re expendable…but you’re not and the words felt…heavy. The air, weighted. And Eddie couldn’t look at him and Buck could swear that he was trying to say—

Buck knows he shouldn’t be. But there’s a part of him that’s angry. That wants to pace and run and clasp Eddie’s face between his hands and ask really? Now? Because—because Eddie got shot. Eddie got shot and Buck barely survived it, thought if Eddie died, he would have died with him, was more terrified than he’s ever been in his life. But he did survive. And he moved on. He kissed Taylor. He closed the door.

So Eddie’s not allowed to make big declarations that he could have made a year ago and then break up with his girlfriend when Buck is finally trying—

Okay, maybe he’s a little upset.

The rest of him though—most of him, really—knows he doesn’t have any right to be angry. Which is why most of him is just…tired. Tired and terrified and still so in love.

Buck thinks maybe Eddie was right all those months ago. The universe doesn’t scream. It just laughs. At him.

“Buck?” Carla’s gaze is soft. Steady.

Buck clears his throat. Drains the last dregs of his coffee. He tries not to feel like he’s swallowed glass.

“Did I tell you I’m seeing someone?” He asks, forcing a smile. “She’s a reporter. She was—she was at Eddie’s homecoming actually, maybe you met her. It’s still pretty new, but we’ve been friends for a while. Going pretty well so far.”

Something flickers in Carla’s eyes, but she takes a breath and smiles.

“That’s great, Buckaroo,” she replies. “I’m happy for you.”

He’s trying. He’s really trying.

He doesn’t ask Eddie about the breakup.

*

Recovery is slow.

Buck doesn’t really like thinking about it as recovery because Eddie’s the one who got shot. Eddie’s the one who was in a sling and in physical therapy and had to spend months waiting to be well enough to get cleared to go back to work.

Eddie’s the one who got shot. The one whose blood flooded the street. The one who spent days unconscious in the hospital. The one who almost died.

Eddie’s the only one who has anything to recover from.

Dr. Copeland doesn’t agree. Buck mentions that he’s having trouble sleeping, that his chest gets tight if he goes too long without seeing Eddie and Christopher, that he can’t breathe sometimes when he’s on shift and Eddie’s out of sight.

She refers him out to a trauma specialist. He tries to argue that it’s not his trauma, but she just looks at him for a long moment.

“When you say you can’t sleep, is it insomnia? Or do you have nightmares that wake you up?”

Buck bites his lip and looks down at his hands. When he blinks, they’re streaked with red. When he blinks again, they’re clean. He curls his fingers into fists to prevent them from shaking.

“A little of both,” he admits.

“And when it’s nightmares, what are they about?”

“…blood.” Eddie’s blood in the street, on his hands, splashed across his face, on his tongue—

She hums.

“Evan,” she says quietly. “It’s okay. It’s not a weakness to admit that you need help. And just because you weren’t shot yourself doesn’t mean you didn’t experience something traumatic. You’re allowed to seek treatment.”

Buck swallows. “I feel like…I should be better by now,” he admits. “Better than this. Shouldn’t it be easier?”

“Recovery is a process,” Dr. Copeland replies. “A journey. And it doesn’t always move in a straight line. There’s no timetable.”

Recovery. He makes a face.

But, he goes to see the specialist. He’s not sure how much it helps.

Blood splashing across his face, water running red, skin scrubbed raw—

Buck sits up gasping, cold sweat beading across his brow. Taylor is sound asleep on the other side of the bed, the distance between them a chasm he doesn’t know how to cross. He doesn’t know if he wants to even if he did.

He shivers. Grabs his phone. Quietly descends the steps of the loft to settle on the couch.

“Buck. Hey.” Eddie’s voice is gravelly and soft from sleep. Buck winces.

“Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I don’t mind,” Eddie replies. “You know I don’t mind.”

Eddie pauses. “What was it tonight?”

Buck exhales shakily. “Your heart stopped in the truck before we could get to the hospital. I couldn’t get it to start again. I know it didn’t happen that way, but I still—”

“It’s okay,” Eddie says. “I’m okay. That—it wasn’t real.”

“Yeah.” It felt real though. Buck can still feel ribs cracking under phantom compressions, the slick of blood on his hands. He can taste Eddie’s blood in his mouth.

“What do you need?”

Buck stretches out and closes his eyes, the phone pressed hard to his ear.

You. Just you. Always you.

“Can you—” His throat clicks. “Can you just talk? It doesn’t matter about what, I just—”

I need to hear your voice. I need to hear you alive.

“Christopher picked a project for the science fair,” Eddie says. “You have to promise to act surprised when he tells you though. He’s really excited.”

“Oh yeah? I can do that. What is it?”

“Well…”

Buck falls asleep again with Eddie’s voice in his ear and he doesn’t dream again. Taylor wakes him on the couch in the morning, an odd look on her face—he doesn’t know how to explain that it’s not her fault. She just can’t help him. Perhaps she never could.

Buck thinks maybe there’s still a part of her that wants him to chase her. But he’s in no condition to chase anyone, even if he wanted to. It takes enough out of him to hold himself together. And to fight against what seems more and more inevitable.

So. Maybe he should stop fighting it.

He sighs and scrubs a hand over his face as he sits up.

“I think we should probably talk,” he says quietly.

Taylor tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and sinks down onto the couch next to him.

“I think we should.”

It ends as quickly as it began.

*

Christmas takes him by surprise. It’s not that Buck doesn’t notice the fall slipping away—a Halloween shift, a Veteran’s Day that has Eddie a little quieter, a little shakier, than usual, and Thanksgiving lasts practically a whole week with all the leftovers that end up in the station—but somehow it doesn’t fully register until he looks up at the calendar in the middle of December and sees a smiling Christmas tree sticker on a date ten days out. They’re not working, so the only question is where he’s going to end up, if anywhere. Although, he supposes even that’s not really a question.

He knows where he’ll end up.

Five days before Christmas, a last-minute tree has been wrangled into the Diaz house and Buck is fighting with a tangled set of lights while Eddie pulls out wrapping paper and ribbons and retrieves the hidden stash of gifts for Christopher from his closet. Christopher himself is fast asleep in his room, worn out from the day of running around, and without the extra person to focus on Buck takes a moment and lets himself just...watch Eddie. Sitting on the floor in low light with his legs stretched out, surrounded by ornaments and boxes and stray clippings and a small pile of somewhat lumpy, clumsily wrapped gifts, his lower lip caught between his teeth as he focuses on trying to figure out the right way to fold the wrapping paper—

There’s a stray piece of tinsel in his hair and a laugh catches in Buck’s throat, even as the rest of him aches with a sudden, fierce urge to brush it away.

He aches. Because this—this is what he wants. Eddie and Christopher and going around town to finish the Christmas shopping, picking out a tree and decorating it as a family, coming home to this day after day after day and knowing it’s where he’s supposed to be—

Eddie got shot. Eddie got shot and it was the worst moment of Buck’s life. He thinks sometimes that he would rather have his leg crushed under a thousand ladder trucks than risk going through that again, but—but running away didn’t make him stop loving Eddie. Dating Taylor didn’t make him stop loving Eddie. Time hasn’t made him feel anything less, if anything it’s just cemented things.

So...so if Eddie is going to have the power to hurt him that badly regardless of whether Buck admits it out loud, if the risk of loss is going to be there anyway...shouldn’t he at least get to have everything? All the good parts?

Don’t they deserve the chance to be happy?

“Buck?” Eddie’s brow is furrowed in concern. “You okay?”

Buck opens his mouth, intending to reassure him, but what comes out is—

“Are you in love with me?” Eddie freezes and Buck resists the urge to panic and take it back.

“Because—” Buck clears his throat. “Because sometimes I think you might be, and—”

“Yes.” It’s quiet, barely a breath, but that single word hangs in the air. Buck’s heart races.

“You could have told me,” he replies. “Why—why didn’t you just—?”

Eddie looks away and Buck catches a familiar look flickering across his face. Doubt, shame, fear—everything that he himself has felt—

Oh.

Blind spots.

He never considered that Eddie might be just as afraid of rejection as he is. He never considered that what’s been so painfully obvious to him, might not have been to Eddie himself.

Buck gets up from the couch, stepping carefully around the mess on the floor until he can kneel down next to Eddie. Eddie, whose jaw is tight, shoulders tense, like he’s waiting for a blow.

“After everything we’ve been through...you still don’t know that I love you?” Buck asks quietly.

Eddie sucks in a startled breath, turning back to look at him, his gaze searching. Buck holds it steadily and waits. It’s not the first time he’s walked out on a limb. But it is the first time he’s had someone else out there with him.

If it cracks this time, they’ll fall together.

“I didn’t think—” Eddie’s eyes close briefly as he clears his throat. “I didn’t think I was enough.”

“You are,” Buck replies. “You’re more than—Eddie—”

“We have a life,” he says when he can get his thoughts in line. “We built a life. Together. Even if we didn’t say that was what we were doing, it’s what we did. So, maybe—maybe we can try being a little more honest about what we want while we’re living it? I don’t—I don’t want to waste anymore time.”

Eddie looks down—then, he reaches out slowly for Buck’s hand, his fingers finding the spaces between Buck’s and slotting in.

Buck squeezes gently. Eddie squeezes back.

“Okay,” Eddie agrees. “Let’s try that.”

Buck does pluck the tinsel from Eddie’s hair, but when he tosses it away, his hand comes right back, fingers sliding into the strands to keep Eddie still. Eddie’s eyes are dark in the dim light, but his lips curve faintly up as Buck leans in.

Kissing him feels like coming home.

#chapel writes #buddie #buddie fic #911 fic #evan buckley

[kythed]

“teenage wasteland.” kuroo tetsurou x reader

4:08pm.

“yo,” kuroo says, opening the door quickly after you ring the bell, “you finally made it.” 

“what do you mean, finally?” you complain, kicking off your shoes and slipping inside. the dry heat of his family home’s living room assaults your bare face, a sharp contrast to the december frigidity outside. “you texted me like ten minutes ago.”

“felt like longer,” kuroo says with a crooked grin. “you want something to drink?” 

“water?”

“I kinda meant something stronger, but sure, water,” kuroo says, filling a glass at the kitchen sink. you furrow your brows.

“something stronger? I’m sorry, but last time I checked we were still underage,” you say, and kuroo laughs breathily — it’s almost a giggle, actually. for the first time since arriving, you notice an odd flush in his cheeks. “oh my god. are you drunk?”

“drunk?” kuroo gasps. “no, no. tipsy, yes. drunk, no.” 

“tetsurou,” you scold, reluctantly letting him pull you towards the hallway. “all those big, bad college boys can’t have been a very good influence on you.”

“I’ve had a stash of jack daniels hidden beneath my bed since sophomore year,” kuroo whispers conspiratorially. “those ‘big, bad college boys’ have nothing to do with it. speaking of which — you want some?” 

you shake your head vehemently and dig your heels into the carpet, realizing he’s trying to drag you into his bedroom. despite being kuroo tetsurou’s official best friend of a decade, you’ve never been inside his room before. you’ve never been inside any boy’s room before, actually — you’ve never been much of a rule breaker. 

(you suppose that’s why you and kuroo get along. you’re forever the straight-laced goody goody, and he’s forever the secretly bad, outwardly good honor roll kid.)

“I don’t drink,” you insist, and kuroo loops his arms around your neck. you stiffen. “and stop being so touchy. it’s freaking me out.”

“what?” kuroo says, feigning offense. “you don’t like my hugs?” 

“no!” you say, and he shoots you an exaggerated eye roll. “you’re being weird. I can probably count the number of times you’ve voluntarily hugged me on one hand.” 

kuroo ignores you, choosing to instead pick you up and toss you over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold. 

“kuroo tetsurou, you’d better quit it before I call your mother!” you pound on his back, a little taken aback to feel his shoulder muscles rippling under your palms as he staunchly marches you into his room. “I do not want to enter your disgusting cave of a room, you teenage garbage troll!”

“getting real creative with the insults there,” kuroo laughs, setting you down and backing up against the door to block you from running out. “come onnnnn. I thought we could play a game of monopoly or something. listen to the radio. finish the bottle before my mom comes home and whips my hide.”

you sigh and perch your hands on your hips. “so that’s why you invited me over.”

“no, no,” kuroo protests, crouching to pull a clear bottle of amber colored liquid out from beneath his bed. “I also just vastly enjoy your company.”

“why not just throw it out?” you ask, gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed. 

kuroo’s room is a lot neater than you imagined it would be — navy bedspread tightly tucked in at the corners, vinyl floor completely clear save for a small rug. his desk is probably the messiest part of the entire room, holding an old, chunky desktop that’s covered in post-its with smudged, scribbled notes, ranging from “email prof. miyazawa about missing grade” to “buy mom flowers to apologize for broken mug.” 

there are a couple posters on the wall, too, one for the japanese national volleyball team, and one for some punk-looking band dressed in an overabundance of leather, ripped denim, and hair feathers. 

“this shit was expensive,” kuroo says, gesturing to the bottle before screwing the cap off and taking a long draught. your eyes widen as he drinks down a quarter of the remaining liquid, his adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. “I can’t let it go to waste.”

“I think you’ve probably had enough of that,” you say, gently twisting it from his hands. kuroo smiles angelically before coming to tower over you. 

“if you’re not gonna drink it, I will,” he says, reaching out to grasp the bottle’s neck. you hold onto it stubbornly.

“you’re clearly wasted, tetsu,” you say. “just let me throw it away.” 

“I may have a small drinking problem,” kuroo says, “but I’m sober enough to know I’m not about to throw away the fifty bucks I spent on that. give it.” 

“no!” 

“yes.”

“nooooo!”

“yes!” 

kuroo tries to wrench the bottle from you, and you spend a solid thirty seconds wiggling in his grasp before finally pulling it away. in an impulsive attempt to keep kuroo from getting even drunker, you bring the rim of the bottle to your lips and chug the rest of the whiskey.

kuroo’s eyes widen, and he guffaws loudly. “that was a lot of alcohol just now.”

you nod, wincing at the acrid taste, unwilling to swallow — the liquid is still swishing in your cheeks. you move to go spit it out in kuroo’s sink, but he grabs your arm.

“do not spit that out,” he warns. “that’s over two hours’ worth of minimum wage salary. I don’t work twenty hours a week in the wendy’s drive-thru just for you to flush it down the drain.” 

“mmmm,” you protest, breathing through your nose. “hrghhhh mmm mm mhm.”

“I have no idea what you’re trying to say,” kuroo says, obviously trying to stifle his laughter. 

you gesture wildly to your face, and then to the empty bottle, and then back to your face. 

for a moment, kuroo wrinkles his nose, and then slowly smoothes out his expression. a small smile stretches across his lips, and he steps close to you. you’re acutely aware of your personal bubble being popped, as well of the fact that he smells strongly of old spice and mango body wash. 

“I’ll do it then.”

“mm?” you squeak in confusion when he takes your chin in one hand and guides your face close to his. you’re not sure if you’re smelling the alcohol on his breath or tasting it on our own tongue. you’ve never been this physically close to your best friend in your life, and you can firmly say you’re absolutely petrified. you shake your head vehemently as he slowly leans down, tilting his head. 

“calm down,” he says quietly, and in spite of yourself, you do. “I’m just taking a drink.” 

then he presses his mouth to yours, and you freeze. oh, shit. 

kuroo wedges his tongue between your lips, forcing them open, and then he sucks the whiskey from your mouth, one hand keeping your jaw open while the other snakes around your waist. your eyes widen just as his close, almost as if he’s enjoying the kiss. slowly, you close yours too, letting yourself melt into him as he keeps kissing you even after swallowing the liquid. 

it lasts for a good ten seconds before you reluctantly pull away, letting your hands rest on his shoulders. he’s smiling, evidently very pleased with himself. 

“what the hell was that?” you say breathlessly, searching his face. 

“I was thirsty,” kuroo says nonchalantly. “and a little drunk. and you’re very pretty, as far as best friends go.” 

you feel like you should be offended, yet you can’t quite bring yourself to be. you’re definitely flustered, though, and a little embarrassed. (okay, a lot embarrassed.)

“I think, um, I think I should go,” you say, breaking eye contact. kuroo raises a hand to stop you, but you brush him off, bounding out of the room to grab your bag and keys from the kitchen counter. “we can talk about this later, okay? you need to go take a nap or something.”

“no, hey, wait —”

but you’re already out the door and in the car, jamming the key into ignition. you just kissed your best friend. or did you? does that count as a kiss? or was that just kuroo being stupid? your mind spins with useless speculations on the drive home, and as you sprawl out on your bed for an hour afterwards. it’s not until later that evening that you check your phone, greeted by a handful of social media notifications… and a text from kuroo.

with shaking hands, you swipe it open, face immediately splitting into a grin.

kuroo: sorry about that

kuroo: ok, not really

kuroo: I’m not that sorry

kuroo: cuz you’re a good kisser

kuroo: a really good kisser

you: you too

you wait for a moment as the three little dots on kuroo’s side pop up.

kuroo: thanks

kuroo: I was still kind of stupid tho

kuroo: my b

you: you regret it?

your fingers shake in suspense as you await his answer, feeling all the world like a lovestruck fifteen year old. you’re a little disgusted to find yourself suddenly crushing on kuroo tetsurou of all people, but what can you say? maybe falling for your best friend is a little cliche. maybe it’s a little overdone. maybe the fact that you kissed him with a mouthful of whiskey belongs in a cheesy teen movie, but you can’t help but find yourself delighted that it happened. 

kuroo: nope. not at all.

kuroo: not at all.

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu oneshots #tw: alcohol #meg ur comment on my shitpost inspired me #HEH #hihqnetwork

[rulerofstars]

do you write in modern!au? i have an idea about an angst of him confessing/proposing to his s/o but because they were too shocked, he thought he was being rejected and he left them, (cutting their contacts off and such) then they meet again after some time coincidentally and they got to talk about it and his s/o got to finally answer him (sorry if its too long!)

Le quattro Stagioni

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x (Fem) Reader

Genre & Warnings: Modern AU, angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of alcohol

Word count: 4,950 words

Angel: I am so sorry this took so long, anon. Thank you so much for requesting, I hope you enjoy this one. Play the songs in order upon seeing the little hearts (♡) that I’ll put, but only if you guys want. All the love.

Songs:

Two is Better than One by Boys Like Girls

Back to December by Jake Coco (or TS)

You and Me by Lifehouse

The tepidity of June danced along the slightly cool breeze that blew a few strands of your hair away from your face. Numerous messages from Hanji made your phone go almost crazy and overwhelmed by the bombardment of notifications. Several questions about what would you wear, what time will you go, or should they pick you up.

A sigh escaped your lips upon opening your apartment door, the cold feeling of being alone grazed your cheek, sending shivers down your spine even though it was summer. Walking to your room, you grabbed the makeup pouch on top of the dining table along the way, replying to your friend’s messages.

Tonight is a special one. After five long years, a highschool reunion is initiated and organized by a few of your batchmates, and the venue is at a small garden event place—where everyone experienced their first prom when in third year. Your lips formed a smile upon the memories brought by the sudden reminisce, it was your first everything.

♡

Highschool is a period where people often experience every kind of shit an individual has to go through to enjoy their teenage years. We get drunk, we smoke—well not everyone, but a majority has tried taking one drag and regretting it afterwards, we lie to our parents, we cut classes. It doesn’t always happen to everyone, and not every single person can relate, but the point is, highschool brought us to situations we never knew we could get through. It introduced us to unfamiliar feelings, it gave us the chance to quench the curiosity that formed within the depths of our minds.

It doesn’t always happen to everyone in high school, but in your case, you fell in love.

Being friends with Hanji allowed you to become one with their own circle, too. The ever so responsible Erwin, Mike, Nanaba, Moblit—Hanji’s best friend, and you didn’t know if they noticed but there’s something else in the man’s eyes whenever he stares at Hanji, and of course, Levi. . . Every single one of them had their own idiosyncrasies, and it wasn’t hard to get along with them, especially with the man with the jet-black hair and slanted eyes.

As a transferee from another school, you chose to go along their group, because being with them makes you feel at ease. They weren’t intimidating at all, Levi was, at first, but their warmth and how they welcomed you in their circle will never be forgotten by your heart.

Everyone has their own “partner in crime”, except for Erwin who could ace high school on his own, but he did help anyone who needed a hand, and because of his duties as a class president, he doesn’t always have the chance to mingle with you guys. And so every time you had afterschool shenanigans, Mike and Nanaba would have their own little world, Hanji would be blabbering their rants to Moblit, sometimes Erwin too, if he’s not too busy with his responsibilities, and you are often left with Levi. It’s not that you hated it—you never hated it.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, one day. It was three months after being friends with you when he first held your hand, just because an over-speeding car almost hit you while you were walking your way towards our house. His hand felt nice on yours, and the concern that dwelled in his eyes was enough to make your frail heart dance with the crispy, orange leaves.

It was in the final term of first year when the attraction towards him grew into a little crush and little did you know how he became more fond of you than he did with the others, too.

“Do you want me to get you soup?” The busy cafeteria was filled with hungry students, lunch time only allows you to have your break within an hour. Yes, fuck school, but thank God the canteen wasn’t so far away.

“Yep,” You answered, while waiting outside of the line as you waited for Levi to finish ordering your food while you held his bag, and the utensils.

“Go find us a chair, I’ll come to you.” His bored eyes darted onto yours, nodding his head, insisting that you should go and sit. Hanji and the others found you soon after being separated for a while, they sat anywhere but the seat in front of you. Because, it’s Levi’s spot if it is across yours, and nobody can change that.

The unexpected bond of you and him had grew into a light sense of puppy love, and you really didn’t have a clue about what you were feeling, but it did feel right, he felt right.

“Do you like Levi?” Nanaba interrogated you one time when she and Hanji had a sleepover at your house, and a sleepover isn’t one if you would not talk about crushes and such. Apparently, something is really going on in between her and Mike, and she talked about how it all began in middle school. Hanji, apparently, is too caught up with fictional creatures like Titans, and they spoke about not having time for crushes.

“Yeah, do you like him? Because he liiiikes you,” They teased and you brushed it off, avoiding the question by changing the topic immediately.

“Don’t be silly.” You laughed.

Of course, of course you did.

He is the snowflakes of your winters.

It was the autumn of sophomore, when you first went into Levi’s house, along with your friends, of course. You met his lovely mom who welcomed you warmly and cooked the nicest food you’ve ever tasted outside of your house, and then you met his uncle who acts as if he’s always drunk and calls Levi a little runt.

“Tch,” Kuchel showed you his baby pictures, and you stared at his annoyed face, picturing if he had not cut his long, dark hair. Maybe he could tie it into a manbun? “Mom, stop that.” You laughed, amused how he managed to snatch the album away from the grip of his mother as he ran towards his room while everyone giggled because of his reaction.

“That brat was never the friendly type, we’re glad you were able to adopt him to your group,” Kenny snorted. Behind his harsh words were a sense of gratitude, you knew that Levi’s uncle may appear as harsh at first, but he was kind, and you were pretty sure where Levi got his attitude from.

Kuchel patted the top of your heads before sending you off that day, thanking you for how well you treated Levi, “You take care of my son, okay?” She said, and it might have appeared as usual to others, but not to you. You’d never forget how she looked into your eyes the moment she spoke, as if she was pertaining to you.

What you thought was puppy love had bloomed into something deeper, something stronger, more serious, and bigger than the both of you.

-----

It was the spring of junior year when you first made out. His room was dimly lit, the curtains were closed, his bed was soft, his tongue on yours—and how you wrapped your arms around his neck just to pull him closer to your body.

The seasons flew by quickly, you knew how well your heart and mind begs for him, and he is well aware about how a single touch of you could make him falter. You weren’t dumb, and it wasn’t that hard to figure it out, what was hard was to admit.

“What do you feel about me?” You asked, staring into his eyes and getting lost within the ardor the dwells upon his irises whenever he looks at you. “Do you love me, Levi?”

You would never forget how his ears turned red at that moment, placing soft kisses on your face while holding you in his arms, never ready to let go. “Tch, what do you think?”

“I think you do, too.” You smiled, pressing your lips against his and closing your eyes, feeling his warm breath on your face, his long eye lashes against your skin, and the scent you’ve grown fond of for years.

His eyes trailed to the necklace he gave you at prom, tracing the cold silver chain that rested upon the smoothness of your neck, “Then why’d you ask?”

And he would never forget how your eyes gleamed when he told you that, as if every star in the universe exploded and the smithereens fell onto your face. “I’m right, then?”

“Mhm.”

“I just want to hear you say it,” You pouted, kissing on his forehead and studying the cosmos in his eyes. You have always wondered how his eyes looked so pretty whenever you stare at them, never had you noticed how it only dazzles that way just because he is looking at you.

“I am in love with you.”

And it’s just a matter of time when the both of you realized that “you and me” was meant to be an “us.”

Everyone knew about your relationship when you were in high school, you were a power couple, lowkey but sweet. You never fail to capture almost everyone’s attention whenever you do the slightest things, hold each other’s bags, when you give him your food, when you share food, when you share a smile, most especially when you took every breath away at your first dance in prom. The relationship was private, but it shook everyone’s world. You kept things to the both of you, leaving people extremely curious about it.

The graduation was emotional, almost everyone was crying while they hugged their friends. And tears were flowing from your face, too, while Hanji and the others enveloped you into a group hug.

“I’m going to miss you all, oh my God.” They cried.

“There, there, it’s okay.” Erwin shushed them, earning a glare from your brunette friend.

“Shut up! You’re lucky you’d be going to the same university as Levi and Mike!”

You shook your head at them, spotting your boyfriend and walking towards where he is. A small smile formed on his lips upon seeing you approaching.

“Hey,” You smiled, kissing his cheek. Good thing, the lipstick you’ve used is waterproof.

“We made it, huh?” He kissed your forehead, and seldom are the times that he is willing to be affectionate in public. You closed your eyes for a while and caressed his cheek gently.

“We did,” You grinned, reaching out to his palm and intertwining your fingers together. “Hold my hand?”

He let out a light chuckle, and you swore, you fell in love a bit more. “Always.”

While you are the flowers of his spring.

♡

Just like how high school was, college flew by quickly. After years of being emotionally, physically, and mentally drained, you couldn’t believe how you managed to reach the last year of suffering. You wouldn’t lie, but the pressure and the amount of knowledge you’ve compressed into your brain made you doubt yourself. The path towards reality was extremely horrifying, and you felt like you couldn’t take it. You doubted your own capabilities to the point wherein you almost didn’t believe in yourself anymore.

It was the winter of senior year when Levi asked you one question that almost made your heart stop.

The snow fell from the empyrean that day, the heater felt useless because of the extreme cold that crept upon the spaces of your apartment. Your boyfriend was there while you burned your eyebrows trying to work on your final requirement.

You wouldn’t lie if you would say that the stress that had been introduced to the both of you didn’t put a space between him and you. Numerous quarrels have made you stronger, but this. . . it was as if you’re aware that you are drifting apart, and you weren’t doing anything about it, and fuck how it scared you. You wouldn’t lie if you were to say that the love wasn’t as warm as it used to, it wasn’t as fluttery as before, and you understood that it could be because of college. But the thought of letting go of the man that you love just because you are so damn scared of opening up teared your heart to pieces, and so you made your mind.

“C-can we talk?” You asked, approaching Levi who sat on your couch while scrolling through his phone. He nodded, standing up and following you to the dining table where all of your papers and laptop sat, while you shivered underneath the sweater that you stole from him.

“I have to tell you something,” Your hands gripped the hem of the sweater tight, while your boyfriend lean against the backrest of the chair.

“Yeah, me too.” The coldness of his voice added to the ice that formed because of the freezing weather. Was he this cold or were you not used to anymore?

“I-”

“Marry me.”

The ice struck your core like a billow enraged with fury and no mercy. You couldn’t speak nor react as your stared at him while time remained suspended in the frost. Your mind could not process his question, and confusion glazed your eyes while your heart pounded like crazy. The grip of your hand against the hem of the sweater weakened while you couldn’t believe what you just heard.

You thought he’s calling it off. You thought he was going to break up with you, you fucking thought you were done. But you are so taken aback that you can’t even talk. You sat frozen until seconds turned into minutes. You were sandwiched in the conundrum of stress, pressure, anxiety, and doubt.

“I see,” The words that left his mouth struck you in a different way as you watched his body walk out of your apartment. You wanted to scream, to punch yourself, to hurt yourself for not being able to function. You are trembling, but not because of the cold. A part of your soul shivered upon trying to understand what just happened.

“O-oh, my God.” You whispered, rushing outside without even bothering to put on more clothing. Winter’s kiss felt like a ghost on your skin as you sat in the middle of your snow-coated staircase, seeing how he had already gone.

Trepidation slowly crushed your heart as hot tears trickled from your eyes, down your face. Realization crept in the depths of your system as you understood that what caused you to be terrified never involved anything about the future, you’re not crying because he left, because whenever he does, he always comes back to you. What scared you the most, was how he felt before leaving. It felt like goodbye.

-----

The summer dress fitted your body perfectly, putting on a small smile while staring at yourself in the mirror. After some time, you finally finished getting ready. Pink stained your juicy lips, and you topped it off with a gloss. A spritz of perfume, earrings, mascara, everything felt like complete but deep inside, you knew that something was missing.

Your eyes darted on your neck, that is why, feeling nothing around your neck was weird, because you were so used to wearing the necklace that he gave you back when you were in high school. Sighing, you found yourself opening one of your drawers and taking out the necklace once again, you never threw it away, how could you? You just stopped wearing it. Cold and pretty, it sat on your skin. It never looked weary despite how old it was, because you took good care of it. You took good care of the presents Levi gave you.

Memories of how you broke down and how Hanji and Nanaba hugged you so tight while you sat in the middle of Levi’s empty apartment tore a piece of your heart once again. How you begged Erwin and Mike to help you with finding Levi, but they were clueless, too. It hurt so much, he left without a word, cut everything off, he was gone in the wind, and never in your life had you been so confused, so hurt, desperate for answers, desperate for chances.

Before thoughts of him could fill your mind, you forced yourself to think of something else. It has been six months since then, but you would be lying if you were to say that you don’t miss him. Because in reality, you fucking do.

A doorbell woke you out of your daze, “Coming!” You shouted, double-checking everything before heading out the door. Various thoughts filled your mind upon seeing the staircase that was once buried in deep, white, snow.

“Come in, girl!” Nanaba shouted from the backseat, and you smiled upon seeing their bright faces. In the front was Mike, and Moblit’s in the passenger seat, Hanji and Nanaba sat next to each other in the backseat, squishing you in a tight hug once you got in. You missed this so much, it has been so long. You never imagined that you could cherish a friendship like this, one that could last long. One that is worthwhile.

The garden is filled with various decorations inspired by the summer. Flowers of different kinds greeted your vision, every decoration turned the same, old, and boring venue into a decent one. You smiled at every familiar face you’ve encountered with, grinning awkwardly whenever they asked you about Levi, and your heart ache. You sought for answers, and they were never given to you.

“Where’s Erwin?” You were curious about the blonde man’s whereabouts, he’s probably busy with work. He immediately got into a company after graduating. You were in their graduation, and Levi wasn’t there. Thoughts of how you panicked that day filled your mind once again, how you cried to Erwin and Mike, telling them how you’ve ruined Levi’s life. But they were comforting, telling you how the man could have transferred when in the final semester in the last minute. Still, everything’s just a possibility, you didn’t know.

Hanji scrolled through their phone, “Probably late because he’s busy,” They answered, looking at you to check if you are okay. Their hand caressed  the exposed skin of your shoulder, sending comforting warmth to fight against the cold of the night. “I’m sorry if everyone’s asking about. . .” They trailed off, and you smiled at them, assuring them that it is okay, even though it’s not. How the fuck will it be okay?

Nanaba hugged you from the side while you were sitting, you leaned your head against their shoulder, letting a few tears fall from your pretty eyes.

“I’m sorry, it’s just how they knew you. . .” She whispered, caressing your back, “You’re (Y/N) of Levi.” A bitter laugh escaped your mouth as you chewed on your bottom lip.

“Hey, don’t talk like that,” You giggled, forcing the tears to stop. Mike handed you a glass of water that he fetched from the mobile bar, and you thanked him, carefully drinking from the cup. “Thank you, for being with me.”

“Always.”

Everyone had fun with games and such, the food was great, you had to go back to the buffet table two times, not minding your diet for the night. It was in the middle of the program when Erwin came, nodding at the men and hugging you girls.

“What did I miss?”

“Everything, dude. Where the fuck did you came from? Narnia?”

The spotlight is suddenly on Erwin, shocking the man who is currently eating the food Moblit got for him while he was gone, the Microphone person, Oluo, decided to interrogate Erwin, being the class valedictorian of your batch. People laughed when he was forced to take one shot of pure tequila before making a short speech first. You weren’t sure if Erwin was one of those who organized the event, but he did told you that he was added into a groupchat by a person from another section—you think Nile was the name.

Erwin was indeed, super late when you realized that it is time to for the most fun part of every prom you had in high school—the party portion. The man ate first before he joined your group’s rowdy-ass partying, you had fun as if you were back in your teenage years, except, you had unlimited alcohol this time. You’re pretty sure that either Hanji or Mike would come home late because those two doesn’t know the word limit.

Amidst the part where everyone’s being wild, from disco music to cheesy ones that you actually danced to when you were. . .

♡

A few couples filled the dancefloor, as others went to the mobile bar, ready to get drunk. It was one of your favorite love songs which played, as if it’s mocking you for not having your long-time partner. It’s mocking you for being single, fuck, you don’t even know if you are single or not.

Your boys formed a circle, they always do this every time a sweet song plays from the blasting speakers, mimicking a cotilion, but jumping to the part where everyone switches partners by forming a circle. You get partnered with Mike first, making funny faces to him like how you used to when you were young, and as he twirled you around, you found your self in the gentleman’s arms—Moblit, he told you how pretty you looked as he let you spin, passing you onto Erwin.

His eyes darted on the necklace on your neck, smiling upon the sight of the familiar jewelry, “You look beautiful tonight,” He told you, swaying you along the rhythm of the music. Your lips formed a slight smile, knowing that the reason of his stare is because of the necklace. “Don’t even think about teasing me, Erwin I swear I’ll punch-”

“Woah, easy there, I won’t do that to you.” He laughs at your glare, this man is probably drunk, you thought. While the two never knew their limits, Erwin’s a fucking weakling when it comes to alcohol. He twirled you around with so much force that you ended up not being catched by Mike and so you closed your eyes and braced yourself for the impact, but you didn’t fall.

Warm hands caught your frail body, whoever it was wrapped their hands around you, and between the the searing touches of this stranger, you felt yourself froze, feeling the familiarity of the unfamiliar touch. The clean, musk scent that had you enticed and whipped for years is recognized by your system.

There’s something about you now. . .

His warm hands embraced you like he used to while you get lost within the music that you first danced to.

I can’t quite figure out.

“I missed you.” He whispered, and you couldn’t open your eyes. You buried your faces within his chest, and how you also fucking missed it.

While various emotions filled your core, the tears that failed to escape your eyes before the party started, found their way back into your tear ducts. You didn’t know what to feel, how to feel, what to think, you are once again clueless while you let yourself drown within his touch.

Everything she does is beautiful.

But one thing is for sure.

Everything she does is right.

You are glad that he’s back.

He is the chill that makes you shiver when autumn comes by.

“F-fuck you. . .” You cried, sobbing onto his shirt and gripping onto the fabric. Levi’s hands caressed your back, pressing you closer, harder onto his chest. Fury crept upon every crevice of your heart, but you can’t let him go, you’re scared to let him go.

The love that you have for this man is so tremendous, that you can’t stand to hate him. Slowly, you felt yourself being pulled away from the crowd of dancing couples, distance made the music sound so soft, and the only sound that blasted you to bits was the sound of your heart beats with his.

“I hate you, I fucking hate you, how dare you—how fucking dare you!” Your fists came in contact with his hard chest, the feelings you have kept to yourself for six fucking months blasted like a waterfall. The force was too much, and you let yourself get carried out. Just this once.

His soft eyes never left your tipsy state, you were perfect. Still perfect.

Levi gladly took every punch you threw, every curse you spat, every slap you gave, because nothing could ever deny the fact that he deserved it. He was so fucking dumb, as Erwin and Mike told him.

“Leaving after proposing? Are you a sick fuck? Who does that?”

He received words from his friends after knowing what happened between the both of you. Curses, advices from Erwin, words from Hanji, the disapproval of Moblit, Mike’s punches, Nanaba’s disbelief.

“How d-dare you leave me! Y-you told me you won’t leave me. Fuck you, I-I love you. . .why did you leave me. . . Y-you know that I hate it when you leave me.” You sobbed, not knowing if you should continue hurting him or if you should go and hug him.

Levi’s lips pressed softly against your forehead, holding you tight, under the unforgiving solstice of the night.

“I almost failed my major. . .” He whispers, hugging the vulnerable you, while he buried half of his face onto the crook of your neck. And fuck, how he had missed this, how he fucking missed everything about you. “I never told you, because I know how anxious you were. . . I don’t want to become a burden.”

Your breathing was unsteady as you choked on words you could never say because of what he just said, your grip on his shirt tightened as you felt more tears streaming down your pretty face.

“I felt us drifting apart. . .and fuck, it scared me, (Y/N),” He paused, breathing deeply and running his fingers through your hair. “And when you asked if we could talk, I thought you wanted us done. So I asked you to marry me.”

His warm hands found their way to caress your tear-soaked face as he brought his face closer to yours, staring deeply into your eyes. “And I really wanted to marry you, baby. Fuck, I even had the shitty ring with me that time. . .” He gulped, biting his lip upon seeing the pain in your eyes. He could feel how fast your heart beats, he could feel the ache you’ve gone through for six months. “But I freaked out, And I really thought I. . . I already lost you.” He closed his eyes, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry because of him again.

“Erwin told me that I don’t deserve you, and I realized that really fucking don’t.” The cold wind kissed your skin, contrasting the heat that his body radiates. Steel grey eyes you have fell in love with years ago and until now darted on the silver necklace that sat pretty on your skin, and how it made his heart pound faster that it does. “But I am in love with you. . . The six fucking months, I’ve spent all of it trying to make myself a better man for you.”

His eyes, the gloss that reflected the beauty of the moon stared into yours once again. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the way his eyes look more pretty whenever you stare at him, because it has been a while since he last saw you.

“And whatever decision you are going to make, I will accept.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss on your tear-stained face once again. “I am in love with you.” A small smile formed on his lips, as if he was already assuming that you’d leave him, and you hated that smile, you hated everything.

As if you fucking could.

“Marry me.” You muttered.

Gone was the fragility that dwelled upon your starry eyes, every doubt, every question, every ounce of fear that once settled deep inside your heart vanished along every meteor that crashed into the abyss of nothingness. Gone was the hate, gone was everything else except for the both of you.

‘Cause it’s you and me, and all of the people, and I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you.

He nodded at you, speechless upon your sudden question. And he knew that this is right, he is sure. He is sure of you.

“I’m sorry.” His kisses sent butterflies and made you grew flowers on every inch of your body as he carefully slipped a ring on your ring finger. “I will make it up to you.” His words are coated with finality, and your heavy-lidded eyes felt warm once again, his slender fingers wiped the corner of your eyes before the tears could stain your face once more.

“D-don’t you leave me again.” You choked, admiring the ring that he got you. It fitted perfectly on your finger, just like how your hand fits perfectly with his.

“I’ll stay with you, always.”

“I never stopped loving you, Levi.” Your soft voice was melody to his ears, as the summer night reminded you both of how everything started. How you first met, how you first held hands, how you slowly fell in love, how you first made love, how you both thanked the cosmos for leading you to each other’s arms.

“I’ll never not love you.”

And you will always be the warmth that completes his every summer.

#attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi x you #aot #snk #levi imagine #levi aot #levi angst #levi fluff #rulerofstars

[mae-gi-writes]

Vaut Mieux Tard Que Jamais| Juyeon (The Boyz Christmas Series)

La Joie De Noel Series.

Sangyeon | Jacob | Younghoon | Hyunjae | Juyeon | Kevin | Changmin | Chanhee | Haknyeon | Sunwoo | Eric

Vaut Mieux Tard Que Jamais : Better Late Than Never.

In which Juyeon blurts out a string of words that change everything as you decorate the Christmas tree.

-♡-

"We would make a pretty good couple."

Y/N's eyebrows are already raised up to her hairline when she turns away from the half-decorated Christmas tree to look at Juyeon. The latter has his gaze averted, obviously, fiddling with one of the Christmas ornaments in that nervous manner of his that she's come to know so well.

"Where did that come from?" She asks.

He lifts his shoulder in a shrug, "just a thought. You're single, I'm single...it's Christmas and you need someone to kiss for the new year."

A sarcastic comment dies on the tip of her tongue as she digests his words. To be fair, he's not wrong considering that they have been roomates forever and actually know each other inside out just like a couple would.

She'd be lying to say that she had not entertained the thought a few times whenever her thoughts stray towards the said man. The only thing that knocks her back to reality is that mere, singular fact that Juyeon is a player, a flirt, a chaser of hearts if only to break them.

So whenever these kinds of situations come up, she always ensues to close the doors to her heart.

"I do have someone to kiss at the end of the year, but thanks for your concern," she replies dryly.

"Who?"

"None of your business," she chucks an ornament at him.

"Liar, you don't have anyone."

"I'm not lying."

"Do you know you look towards your left everytime you lie?" A smirk splays across his lips as she feels a scowl imprint itself on her face. Fuck, he knows her too well. She should've known he isn't going to take no for an answer.

"You know what? It's not like I haven't thought about it," Y/N states while standing up with the lights in hand. She slowly places it around the Christmas tree, almost walking over Juyeon unapologetically in the process, "but let's face it Juyeon, you change girls like you change socks."

His glare practically burns through her back, "that's what you assume."

"So I'm the liar now?"

"I never said that. I just think you judge me too harshly without knowing the full story."

"Okay then tell me," she flings the last piece of lights around the tree before swivelling around, yelping upon coming face to face with Juyeon's rock hard chest.

"The truth?" He leans in, closer and closer, until they are practically nose to nose. Y/N refuses to back down though, staring straight into his eyes and seeing how their hard, opaque front slowly soften the more they gaze at each other in growing silence.

"The truth," his murmur is raspy, almost breathless. Slowly, he lifts the garland in his hand and lifts it over her head, around her figure, before he tugs her to him, "is that I haven't played. Not recently anyway."

She scoffs and tries her best to keep her face neutral, though the heat flushing through her neck is as palpable as the December heat, "your point being?" She lifts her chin, silently challenging him.

"That you're the reason why."

"Why you haven't played? Give me something more than that, Juyeon."

"You are one tough cookie," he tilts his head playfully, "so, do you wanna try it out?"

"Try what out?"

"That couple thing. You know, maybe kiss..."

Chortling, she pushes him away with her hand but he resists his hold on the garland still, gaze intense and dark on her own, "so?" He prompts, "let's do it. It's not like we have anything to lose."

"Yeah, just my reputation," Y/N mumbled, allowing herself to press against his chest albeit her reluctant protests. It is true, she doesn't have anything to lose. Her and Juyeon have lived together for so long that she's certain there will be no awkwardness whatsoever. They've become so comfortable with each other's presence that the idea of not having anything to say to him is foreign, weird even.

"I promise I won't try anything else," Juyeon says, reading her face like an open book.

"Don't put your hand up my shirt."

"Scout's honour."

Taking her silence as a form of agreement, Juyeon slowly leans in and tilts his head to the side as Y/N's eyes flutter shut, her stomach curling with half-dread and half-anticipation.

He halts just milimeters from her lips, so close she feels the heat of his breath that makes her skin erupt with goosebumps, "you good?" He whispers.

She nods, right before his mouth catches her own in a chaste kiss.

It's warm. She can taste the slight hint of coke on his mouth.

Totally unlike Juyeon's usual demeanor, this kiss is soft. Almost shy. It makes the air in her lungs constrict, mouth tingling with warmth.

Pulling away to gaze down at her through half-lidded eyes, she notes the uncertainty flickering in his dark orbs and something in her heart jolts in response.

When he speaks next, his voice is hoarse, "so? How...how did it feel?"

She thinks for a moment and replies through blazing red cheeks, "I have to admit, not that weird."

There's a soft exhale on his part as they lapse into silence, trying and failing not to stare into each other's eyes before a surge of courage overtakes Y/N's logic. Hands reaching up to grasp his t-shirt, she tugs him down to kiss him some more and all thoughts seem to fly out of her head once she does.

Y/n had always known that kissing Juyeon would be something else in comparison to the chaste, shy kisses of her former crushes and boyfriends. But what she isn't prepared for is the way her knees buckle at the mere sensation of his lips parting to cup hers in a slow dance of tongues that makes her mind go into a scrambled mess of nerves and goosebumps, gasping silently when Juyeon drops the garland to grasp her waist and pull her flush against his frame.

Everything just falls away from logic and the more he kisses her, the more she wants of that delicious desire throbbing through her veins. Juyeon's physicality is the only thing that keeps her afloat and Y/N is so wrapped up in euphoria that she doesn't realize he has backed her up to the side of the room until she feels the coldness of the wall seep into her back.

A small moan slips from her mouth then, the sound encouraging the young man to kiss her even more deeply, mouth staining hers with such passion that fireworks seem to explode behind her eyelids as she writhes against him, body melting right into his and causing a soft moan to rumble through Juyeon's chest.

When they part for air, the softness in Juyeon's face glimmers with a tinge of embarrassment, chest heaving and looking just as flustered as she feels. That makes her feel a little bit better.

He licks his lips, eyes sparing hers a glance, "well..."

"Well."

"That was..."

"Interesting," she finishes for him when he seems lost for words.

He hums while ducking his face towards her neck, making her shiver. His hand at her waist brushes over her side ever so gently.

"So my mom's organizing a dinner for Christmas," Juyeon casually drops in, words muffled against her neck, "you're welcome to join."

She gives him a pointed look even when it's useless since she can only see his tuft of hair tickling her face, "are you asking me out?"

"Maybe," a soft kiss at her neck. Her chest tightens, her skin tingling with every brush of his lips.

He's teasing her and he knows it! Heat crawls along the back of her neck at the thought.

Not knowing what to do with her hands, she settles for running them softly through his dark strands and jumps slightly when the man sighs against her, before he nuzzles her collarbone fondly.

She manages to find her voice, "It's either yes or no, Juyeon. I'm not going to play your stupid game."

He probably senses the wariness in her tone because he looks up, dark maroon orbs boring into hers and causing her insides to twist together. He's looking at her like he actually cares and it's an expression that is so foreign to Y/N that she can't help but look away before swallowing thickly.

"Yes Y/N," he says in a hoarse voice, "I'm asking you out."

"Oh," she chews onto her lower lip, "right. Cool, uhm..."

She hasn't expected him to be so direct. Since when has he stopped being such a coward?

"It's either yes or no, Y/N," there's a playful smirk on his lips as he throws her sentence back at her, nose brushing against hers and making her draw in a shaky breath.

"Fine," her chin juts out defiantly and almost makes their lips ghost over each other's, "yes."

He doesn't need more encouragement. Grabbing her chin before crashing his mouth onto hers, he swallows up any sound she makes and kisses her with such intensity Y/N is surprised she doesn't collapse altogether as she thanks the lord for his grip on her waist. That thought flies right out of her head the moment his hand hooks under her thigh to pull it up, wrapping it around his waist so that he can press his frame closer to hers.

She moans softly in response while her arms slide up to grip his hair. A muffled growl echoes from the back of his throat before he parts, peppering a bunch of kisses along her jaw and up her ear which makes her squirm in his hold. Gasping slightly when his heat slowly rolls into hers as his hand slowly caresses up her thigh, another breathless whimper falls from her mouth upon feeling the warmth of his lips nibbling on her ear.

"Don't know why we never thought of doing that before," he breathes before pecking her ear slightly and drawing away.

Y/N's eyes find his, still glazed over from the young man's earlier attack while her hands drop to his shoulders. She can still feel his touch ghosting over her leg and a pool of desire floods her stomach.

"Better late than never," she says, right when he captures her lips for the nth time that day, all thoughts of Christmas now forgotten.

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