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impala1967dwinchester · 3 years

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Dean Winchester: Miracle and Simon

Pairing: Dean W. x Wife!Reader Pov: Dean Warnings: Fluff, a little bit of angst, Dean, dogs, talk of infertility, sadness, overall fluff, comforting Dean, Sam is mention. Summary: Y/n and Dean learn after a long time of trying for children that Y/n is unable to bare a child. With this news, they decide to wait. When Dean comes across two very cute pups how can Dean pass it up? Word Count: 2.3k A/N: Written for band-psychos 1.5 followers writing bingo challenge. This is sad, but good at the same time. By the way, I have absolutely no clue what it's like to be told that I won't be able to have children, so what I may say may be wrong. Also, I'm sorry if this is something that affects you. Square: First Pet

Dean Winchester Master List

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Tag list: @band--psycho @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69 @doctorlilo @fofisstilinski @wonderfulworldofwinchester

Month, turned into years of trying for a baby. It was okay in the beginning, but it turned into constant disappointment. Not disappointed in Y/n or myself. Just overall disappointment in the situation.

How we had been stripped of the ability to have kids. Y/n being stripped of the chance of being the best mother I know she can be. I felt more hopeless, and helpless than I had in any other part of my life.

My darling wife unable to bare a child, unable to be the most gifted thing in life. Unable to become a mother. That day was horrific, She cried in my arms and spent the drive back home in silence.

She stayed away, she had moved back into her old room. Forcing everything that we had built to be crushed. She pushed everything and everyone away.

It was horrible, she wore her ring still. Years of marriage, years of trying. Years of our life being shut out. Being put behind a wall because she felt as if she wasn't enough, wasn't worth being with.

There were nights of course I'd try and make conversation with her, but it always ended in silence, or in me talking enough for the both of us.

The few months that she pushed me away were the hardest, hearing the loud sobs echo through the halls. Not hearing her voice at all was the worst of it all, not being able to see the bright smile that used to blossom on her face was horrible.

So many things that I wish that I could change for her, so many things that I wish that I could make better. Better for her, better for me, but most importantly better for our relationship.

Finally one night.

Hearing a soft knock on my door, even with it being ajar. "Dean.. Can I come in?" Y/n asked, barely poking her head into my, our room. I was still a little confused on that one.

"Of course honey," I said pulling the bedspread back so if she wished she could climb into bed with me. She walked in slowly, not bothering to shut the door behind her.

She wore an old shirt of mine, sleep shorts, and her slippers. She looked just like she has always looked comfortable, but the look on her face was a displacement of how she looked. Her voice was white, heavy purple and black circles under her eyes, her face even looked a little bit too skinny.

Y/n say slipping her slippers off before climbing to the bed with me. "Hey." She said timidly like, "Hey baby," I said. During the time she had taken to be by herself, I had done more than enough research about what happened when women learned that they were infertile.

How they need space, or how they didn't like to be touched, how they could have outbursts of many different emotions. It's been five months and now Y/n's back in our bed. I'm hesitant to touch her, I think she can tell.

"Let me first say that"

"I missed you"

We spoke at the same time, speaking at the same was something that we always tended to do... God to hear her voice was amazing, like cutting butter so smooth and calming. She was so perfect to me no matter what was going on outside of this moment right now.

I smiled, and Y/n smiled back at me. It wasn't a full smile, but it was true and halfway there. "Do you want me to go first?" I asked not wanting to push her if she wasn't fully comfortable with it.

But if she wasn't comfortable with it then she wouldn't have come to my... our room and sat down next to her husband. Right? 'Stop asking so many questions.'

"If you want to Dean." She said her voice starting to waver. She's going to start crying, start talking Dean.

"I'm going, to be honest with you here. I don't know what to say.' Smiling afterward, ' I... I want you to know that you aren't alone in this, I know now that you needed your space, I want you to know that no matter what you think I don't blame you at all, not once. Because I'll forever love you. I've also been reading a lot,' Y/n was smiling now, raising her eyebrows at my reading comment. 'Anything for you Y/n you know that, but regardless I've been doing some reading on this situation, how this may affect us, you and myself. I just want you to know that I'm here for you." I said finally shutting my mouth.

She didn't look like she was going to cry anymore. Y/n was smiling a bright tooth-grinning smile. "You know Dean even when you don't know what to say you always manage to say the right thing, every single fuckin' time," She said through her smile.

Is it weird to say, but I know when Y/n is at her most happy because she curses. She spouts out every single bad curse word there is known to man. Just to tell you how happy she truly is.

God, I missed her smile. You don't realize just how much you miss something or even need it until it stops coming into your life and then comes back into your life a bullet.

I reached out to touch her, but I'm still hesitant. Very hesitant she most definitely saw that. When I went to take my hand back to my lap, she reached out grabbing my hand.

She's so soft, and her hands god how I've forgotten how much smaller her hands are to mine. Look at her hands, look at that ring, still shiny and glistening under the light of our room. That ring I think is what brought her back to me, no scratch that I think our love for each other is brought her back to me.

I had been looking for weeks after Y/n finally came back. Everything needs to settle down before I can even prompt the question to her. I want her to feel safe, I don't her to feel pressured or like I might be trying to replace the idea of children.

I again dived in and did the research for my idea. Sam even helped me, helped me to try and find the right one for her and me. Sam knows a lot of things but he especially knows this about me. When I do something I do it all the way, no half-assing anything and that only becomes ten times more when Y/n is thrown into the situation.

Doing the best research I could with the help of my brother of course. I found the best thing, not something I necessarily like the idea of but anything to help Y/n.

Anything for her.

They passed my screen, and before I knew it I was scrolling back up to them. In the loud and bold letter, it read.

These two come together, a pit bull and a golden retriever. Price is free, just come and pick them up today.

It just clicked, you ever have those types of moments. Where you can feel deep down in your mind, and body. Gosh, I'm really starting to get more and more like Sam.

I shouldn't say that because honestly, that's how it was for me when I first met Y/n. But that is most definitely a story for another time. I jumped from my seat sending the library chair to slide and then fall against the tile floor.

"Are you okay?" I heard Y/n's sweet voice ringing from behind me. 'Shit I forgot' "Yeah I'm fine, I just remember that I forgot to grab something when I was out earlier," I said, turning jamming my phone in my back pocket, calmly walking over to her, and kissing her temple saying bye.

I rushed, driving down the gravel road that leads to home sweet home. If nobody knew what I was doing they'd probably all think I was trying to get away from a murder that I just committed.

The drive to pups was silent. I'd driven baby so many times alone, but this time it just felt different. My impala was the first one parked, a few people close behind me. I rushed up to the fairly older man. He looked over my shoulder, he huffed before waving the other people off.

"Now listen heree son, I'm given' you 2 pups for nothing, so I don't want to hear anything." He said stepping down the porch and walking in front of me to the red broke down barn.

"They're in here. All yours." He said pulling back the door and then walking back to his barn house. Pointing in a very general area, there were 2 pups as the old man called them. Curled up into each other, 'cute' I thought to myself.

'I've already been gone for too long, hurry up Dean.' I said to myself. "Do they respond to commands? Like come, or no?" I asked as I slouched down to the height or near height of them. He hummed and said a few things under his breath.

"Come here," I said gently, just like if I were talking to Y/n. I know that as husband and wife you're supposed to talk about things before you just go outright and do them, but I kind of figured that Y/n wouldn't have any cons to having some furry children. It would most definitely take her mind somewhere else for the moment.

Waking them up from their shallow sleep, they were both wary at first, but grow to be giving me kisses had me rolling around on the dirty ground.

"Come on son!" The old man said. I jumped up from the ground dusting my clothes off and whistling for the dog's attention. "Let's go" They followed us out of the barn and chased after each other. There was no need for a transaction seeing as he just wanted them gone.

I whistled again, both chasing each other and coming to a fast stop in front of me. I was hesitant to let these pups in my baby, but anything for my girl, for her happiness, anything for her.

Both jumping up and finding a comfy spot and laying down. I speed back home, I'd already been gone for much longer than I originally wanted.

I once again speed down the gravel road heading to my home sweet home. Parking in the garage caused the pups to raise their heads. That being the first time, at least they don't complain about my driving like Sam does. That's rather nice.

I opened the back door and let both of them slip out. Yes at that moment I had realized that I had in fact told nobody of my plans, and I also had nothing to give them food-wise.

Letting them into the bunker they seemed to feel at home, but the more odd thing was that they didn't seem to care about anything other than finding Y/n.

An odd moment, it's like Sam said years ago sometimes animals can sense evil, so why can't they sense happiness or even sadness. I wonder?

The two of them led their own ways to the door of our bedroom. "Sit," I said quietly. They looked at each other and sat down, well actually they laid down.

I knocked and then came in seeing at it was also my room. "When'd you get back?" Y/n's honey slick voiced asked. "Just a few moments ago, love...." There was a comfortable silence between us, but Y/n always knows.

"What are you hiding Winchester?" She asked, pulling the sheets from her body. 'No don't get out of bed' "I need you to stay in bed for this surprise if you will." I said gesturing her to lay back down. " Be ready okay?" I said opening the door,

There sat a golden retriever and a pit bull. I heard her gasp "Dean?!". Behind me I saw the two dogs slowly sit up fully, they looked over at me, then over at Y/n.

I nodded and whistled. The pitbull was the first one to reach Y/n his nose nudging her arm. "Dean?" I heard again, so I turned I was smiling, the dog has already made a way onto her lap. "We.. are.. you." Y/n was most definitely stumbling over her words.

"Yes, they're ours. I thought that if we y'know. We could find a way to take care of something. I think he likes you, baby." I said walking all the way into the room having the golden following close behind me. "Yeah and I think she likes you, Dean." She said, patting the pits head.

"They need names," I said nodding to let the golden know that it was okay for her to jump up on the bed. I want my bed to remember them too, cause my bed is memory foam.

"Miracle and Simon. What do you think." Y/n said resting her hand on top of the pits head. "Whos who?" I asked, Y/n pointed at the dog taking up most of my lap, "That's Miracle" then moving and pointing over the sleeping pup in her lap snoring "This, sweet boy is Simon." She said a single tear falling down her cheek.

"What's wrong honey?" I asked "I know that I didn't even ask you if this was okay," I said worrying as more tears fall down her soft warm-toned cheeks.

"Nothing is wrong Dean, I just remembered that I wanted to maybe name our son Simon when we finally got pregnant." She said, I wiped her stray tears and said, "We've got our son and daughter just in fur version. And being together is enough for me." Kissing her forehead. A whispered, "Thank you Deanie Beanie." I rolled my eyes and kissed her forehead again.

Completed on: 05/24/2021

Posted on 05/25/2021

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lixiefe · 4 years

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The Sins’ Aid

Episode 1: “I ended up, oh- where the hell?!” - Yang Jeongin

↳ Summery: Wherein a depressed guy moves into a haunted house that was rented for cheap. But what he doesn't expect to be there are seven wicked demons, each corresponding to a deadly sin. Instead of them being dangerous, they’re incredibly friendly and they're trying to get him back to his feet; along with helping him to woo his long time crush, who he could only peek at as a secret admirer.

↳ Disclaimer: Yang Jeongin here is not a psychologically diagnosed depressed person. He just bears a weak mental capacity and extreme nervous system driven by anxiety. I’ve made him so solely for the sake of the story. I personally don’t see him like this. This Jeongin has no correlation with the Yang Jeongin whatsoever.

↳ Type and Warning: It’s like a self-building process of the main character from a feeble to a confident persona, paired with comedy and humor. Self indulgent, but I don’t think mc will appear any time soon. As for warnings, there are descriptions of anxiety or negative thoughts one can have, but they’re portrayed as funnily as my boring self can.

↳ Words: 1.8k

“So, what do you think? This is the cheapest I can find for you,” the consultant spoke in gloom, the faint resonation of street bustle being an ally to the deafening silence that consumed the entire room. The healthy woman advanced the stapled sheet of paper towards the fiddling boy, who’d only clutched to the strap of his backpack since the beginning.

“I understand, aunt.”

After coming into the racketing and packed up atmosphere of Seoul from the confines of serene and peaceful Busan, Jeongin was not at all prepared for the financial crisis that’d follow up his butt in a few months. And lords, he was not at every all prepared to move into an abandoned house with bad history, alone. The cheap rate of the house was what kept him going, because hell, how could such a wealthy looking house be rented for so cheap; that he could afford it with his recent part time chicken job?

He’d have said that the god of ultimate thrift had found him, had bestowed him the pleasure of such cheap rates, but umm, haunted house? Even though he’d grown up believing ghosts and spirits or such didn’t exist, the fear didn’t halt from creeping up his legs with determinate domination.

However, he hadn’t a choice.

“I’ll take it.” Jeongin sighs a whiff of courage, stepping up as he took the slippery pen in his hands. With quick and swift gestures, the parchment was now an evidence that he was an official tenant of the haunted house. He looked at his own signature in distaste, god was that ugly, but it was finally done. Done.

“Oh yes, I forgot to tell you, you’d need to clean the house yourself. That is unless, you hire someone.”

“What!?”

That big- abandoned for how many years- old enormous house?

He was in for a ride.

Jeongin was never among the temperament, was never the type to lose his mind over a simple packing up, much less the type to cry over the stuff he knew he’d have to throw away, or so he thought. In any case, he was sentimental, extreme level emotional. So here he was, weeping over his five years old sweatshirt that didn’t even fit him anymore. The university had given him a two month time to search for a new home, which resulted in him sorting out all his belongings in the cramped room.

Yang Jeongin was semi-reliant on both his pink clothes and his worn out bunny slippers. They were his sanity. But now that he’s lost 1.5 percent of his sanity, his lips had taken a permanent turn downwards, rosy cheeks complimenting his red nose. People would say it’s silly; completely childish to cry over clothes, but no one can really realize how important these are for someone who’d had such reliance on materialistic things. As much as Jeongin did anyways.

Jeongin’s remaining sanity debauched away in angry smokes emerging from both of his ears as he took in the sight of the house he was going to live in. His crippling trepidation aside; speaking facts would be, this house ooked like dictionary bad news.

With his luggage by his side and eyes peering over the all gray walls of the now ash-brick Victorian mansion, he was stunned. It was like a gothic castle; magnificent in its artistic splendor, lonely, haunted and windswept. It seemed like the architect had a foresight to build it strong, with narrow windows deeply etched onto the wall and jutting stones placed at the corners. Even so, it wasn’t as terrifying as it was supposed to. There was no haunting portcullis squares that could shred him to pieces, nor was there haunting, spiky grills that’d snatch his soul. However, present there was, a tempestuous whirlwind of horror pervading his guts every second.

It was just a gothic mansion, a small one at that.

Everything was clean. Raking his eyes from the grandiloquent chandelier to the impassive numberless stairs in the middle to the feather-cushions and leather fittings tightened on the dexterous woodwork, Jeongin felt even more tumult nerves spiking his system. Spick and span, not a single atom of dirt to be seen in the immaculately arranged furniture and on the spruce tiled floor. Wait- tiled floor?

He shouldn't be afraid.

As if that would happen.

Sheer and pure, unfiltered and damning panic, it was all Jeongin knew as he walked past the grille and stepped through the opening gates of the old house. He came all prepared after hours of whining over the foreboding that he’d have to clean a whole house, since it was well abandoned. But the interior wasn’t dirty at all. In fact, it was the opposite.

Jeongin knew perfectly well how weak-minded he was, how easy it was to shatter his mental piece into innumerable remnants. And he also knew that, this house was not supposed to be clean. His irises trembling and fear creeping up his mind, he tried his best to stay calm as he plodded through the white floorage. His knuckles had adopted a shade of white due to the tight grip on his backpack, but he kept walking. Maybe he could check the rooms? Maybe they’d only kept the front clean?

This reminded him of every horror movies he’d watched and snickered with the thought of the protagonists foolishness. He’d mocked and despised them for their pompous courage, because curiosity kills the cat and they should’ve known that. But not now, not when he’s doing the exact same in broad daylight.

Jeongin visibly shuddered as he neared a polished door. It was as if the door was new, renovated and engraved with intricate wood-work he’d seen only in museums. In all honesty, it looked like the luxury he’d never signed for, and exactly like the haunted knobs of those movie magnimous mansions.

Thrilling nerves like never before, and chest throbbing with maximum speed, it’s crossed the grand and ostentatious horror he’d felt when he watched ‘The Nun’ in theaters. It unmatched any other times he’d gotten surprise heart-attacks and surpassed the ultimate horror when he’d been scared shitless in his underwear at the middle of a birthday night. Because nobody preferred shining lights and buzzing candles on the verge of roasting them alive at twelve a.m.

With the faux courage he’d maneuvered with his footsteps, Jeongin extracted a hand for the door knob. Slowly, like the movie protagonists he’d hated and quaveringly, like his mind screamed at him to, his fingers neared and neared the shiny piece of metal.

Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. But here he was, fingers tracing the cold outlines of the knob and twisting it open.

It bested and rubbished any other of his wrought with fear life experiences.

Because there was an all-black man laying down in orderly crimson silk-sheets in a room that rendered him erroneous. The entire room in such luxurious glamor and unexpected neatness that it had him baffled, because who on earth was this mysterious man!? Unrelated to his bafflement, but that's all he can think about. Maybe it was the superiority of the situation, or the vigorous trepidation of his wavering heart; or maybe it was the utter and simple fact that, this is horrific and severely cryptic; however it was, Jeongin hadn’t the mental strength to handle such bombshell.

“Oh my god!”

Heavy vignette and grains of static panic was all he knew as the man groaned and jolted awake, spluttering coherencies that weren’t really coherent for Jeongin, at the very least.

Because before he had the sanity and stability to discern what the hell was happening, he was out cold.

In broad daylight.

The first thing Jeongin feels as soon as he opens his eyes are pure, abundant and horrifying whiplash of hysterical disquiet. The first thing he sees with his desultory pair of orbs are a tuft of seven affixed heads and seven pair of curious, scrutinizing eyes that bore into his soul like greedy miners in a gold hunt. And the first thing he voices out is a traumatized, high pitch scream through his strained vocal cords.

And like the horror movie protagonists he’d hated.

“He looks like an infant.”

“He might, but I look innocent too.”

“For the sake of almighty, you do not at all look innocent. You’re a fucking demon!”

“I have asked this before, and I’ll ask again. What- is a kid doing here?”

“Do you mind? I mean I don’t. Look at him! So cute-”

“Shut up everyone, he’d opening his eyes!”

“STOP!” he screams, catching the wee bit attention span of what looked like grown men. They all pause altogether, the chaos alleviated, screams assuaged, inner peace resurrected and situational whatever mitigated; Jeongin gives them a hard glare. It goes on in quietness for a few, before the tallest of them all, the one with a beautiful mess of black hair, magnetizing cat eyes and too much of attractive lips speaks up,

“Who- who are you guys!?”

He screams yet another time, hands grasping the silk sheet and hips moving themselves as far into the mattress as they can. He sees the seven men scramble among themselves in utter chaos, bumping their heads with an audible thud and tangling themselves in the mismanaged circle they’d created.

Jeongin’s even more terrified at their botched antics and disorderly falling down than he was of their presence. But he has screamed enough, strained his fresh awoken throat enough; yet the simple turmoil of the situation forces him to shriek in with unintentionally unified harmony, mingling with the strangers’ squeaks of unedited mayhem.

I ended up, oh- where the hell!?

And then, after a good five minutes of tumbling, falling, tangling and again tumbling and falling and everything in desynchronized commotion, Jeongin’s had enough.

“He looks so cute, I accept no criticism,”

That’s when Jeongin realizes that he is, in fact, a basic attention phobic. And through the saga of assertive responses, Jeongin doesn’t realize how or when he has fallen into the depth of hollow-stricken darkness and the uncanny pure silence in the midst of voices he could see through the back of his mind.

And yet again, his weak heart had failed him and he’d submitted into another few hours of unconsciousness.

Episode one ends in author's chaotic planning.

HAH.

I have no idea how this turned out, but it's definitely gonna be better when the sins' start appearing. Maybe...ksdejkk.

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eliphante123 · 5 years

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Playing tw tag game w/ my oc

I haven't been tagged, yet but this looks fun. I've seen people post this from @edda-blattfe and they're pretty honest with their answers, so why not try it, myself. Also, I brought my oc to answer with me (I want to spice it up a bit) Taniya: happy to answer ^-^

~Dire Crowley appears before you~

Question 1: Welcome to Night Raven College! Did you enjoy the trip here?

Me: i don't know how did i get here but wow

Taniya: hmmm...yes and no

Me: why?

Taniya: if you were me, you know why -_-

Question 2: Wonderful! All students here must choose one of the seven dormitories to reside in during the school year. Which one do you choose? Why?

Me: I’m mostly interested in Ignihyde because of technologies and stuff

Taniya: look at my ears and tails, it’s obvious I’m from savanaclaw

Question 3: Now that you’re officially a student, what would you like to learn first?

Me: history about magic, I luv magic

Taniya: LEVITATION! SO I CAN USE IT TO CRUSH MY EMEMIES BY LIFTING A GIANT OBJECT AND THROW AT THEIR FACES!!! *gives out a cute evil laugh*

Me: 0_0'

Taniya: also I can easily get things from up high since that I'm short and I can easily clean my messy dorm room just like one of the movies *smiles*

Question 4: I’ll leave you to settle in now. Before I go, do you have any questions about the college?

Me: one question, *fangirling scream* why did you accept hot guys in your college?

Taniya: is there a potion for making me taller? 0w0

~Crowley out~

Taniya: hey! I’m talking here!

Question 5: Which dormitory leader are you excited to meet? Why?

Me: ALL BECAUSE THEY'RE SO HOT!!!

Taniya: I'm fine with everyone *whispers* except Leona and Azul

Question 6: Azul offers you the chance to fulfill your heart’s desire. What is it, and do you accept?

Taniya: don't you dare go near with that sea demon

Me: why? he's going to make my wish come true

Taniya: yeah but I'm warning you that guy is bad news

Me: just because you hate fish, doesn't mean you hate him, as well. Also, what about you? do you want something in your heart's desire?

Taniya: of course not! I won't make deals with someone who can impossibly grants people's wish and I still don't trust him, especially the twins

Question 7: Which of the boys are you friends with? Why?

Me: of course, Taniya!, ortho, ace, and kalim are cool to hangout

Taniya: most of my friends are Leona, Ruggie, Jack since we lived at the same dorm and the rest are ortho, idia, trey, kalim, lilia, and silver because they're ok to talk to

Taniya: aww

Me: ur welcome~

Question 8: C’mon, we all know everyone at the school is attractive. Is there someone (or more) you’re crushing on?

Me: WELL DUH! EVERY BOYS ARE ATTRACTIVE! and *looks at Taniya with a smirky face*

Taniya: what?

Me: is there someone you have a crush on?

Taniya: me? nah I'm not interested with guys

Me: ohohoh but there is and I know who~

Taniya: oh yeah tell me

Me: it’s obvious you two are like almost a couple but you just don’t realized it. He’s tall, cunning, handsome face and he's a third year

Taniya: dude every third year are tall, cunning, and handsome

Me: but you know him, right? you're always with him whenever he needs you *smiles*

Taniya: I’ve been hanging out with bunch of guys in my life and even if I do, none of them are my type but what you're refering to....

Me: *waiting for her to realize it’s Leona*

Taniya: hmm....nope doesn't ring my bell

Me: girl you need to learn more about love life

Taniya: no thanks

Question 9: The hallways are a terrifying place to be after hours. Who’s the last person you wanna be out there with?

Me: ready?

Taniya: ok

Me & Taniya: 1, 2, 3...GHOST!!!

Me: nailed it

Question 10: Would you rather listen to Jamil’s puns, work at the Mostro Cafe with Jade and Floyd, or clean the dungeons with Lilia?

Me: I'm fine with Jamil's puns

Taniya: I'll just go help cleaning the dungeon with Lilia

Question 11: Everyone loves karaoke night at the Cafe! Do you sing? If so, which song would be your go to?

Me: yeah I can sing but I don't know which song that fits me, I guess It'll Be Alright by Cody Francis

Taniya: I can sing as well and the song I would sing is Faster Car by Anders Lystell.....wait a minute! since when did the Cafe have karaoke?

Question 12: Riddle invites you to a tea party with the rest of Heartslabyul. Do you attend?

Me: yes, I love tea parties

Taniya: me too, so we don't have to get our heads cut

Me: oh yeah....

Question 13: Choose a champion!

Me: I know who's a champion

Taniya: same here

Both: ME!!! *looks at eachother*

Taniya: actually we're the champions

Question 14: Favorite headcanon(s)?

Me: I don't have a favorite but I like all of it

Taniya: canons x self-insert/oc's

Question 15: Unpopular opinion?

Both: nope/nada

Question 16: You forgot to send Maleus an invitation. Your survival plan?

Me: pretending I'm not invited either and next time, I will invite him to my "I'M SORRY FOR NOT INVITING YOU" party

Taniya: who's that?

Me: you know that horned guy that lives in the diasomnia and always been forgetten in every invitation.

Taniya: oh that guy, was he in the party, last week?

Me: idk but it's better to not mention about it to Maleus because he might gonna zap you with his spinning wheel staff like a grilled potato

Taniya: .....ok, I'm with your plan

Question 17: Be honest, would you trust Rook to shoot an apple off your head?

Me: ohhh yes, I want to see if he really shoot that apple

Taniya: no, I would probably be dead for 1.5 second -_-;

Question 18: Lilia, Ace, and Kalim invite you to hang out with them. Do you go?

Me: Absolutely

Taniya: eh why not

Question 19: Where is your favorite place to chill on campus?

Me: chilling at the Mostro Cafe while wearing my headphones on

Taniya: outside the campus roof or I could do parkour for fun

Me: ohh can I come?

Taniya: sure, if you know how to climb a high building before

Question 20: Ortho asks if you’ll help him drag Idia out of his room so he won’t skip class. How does that work out?

Me: I would convince him to go out because he’ll miss everything that is going on

Taniya: why not we use Idia’s unfinished vr headset then trick him that you, me, and ortho help fixing his vr and telling that we created an adventure virtual reality game called “NIGHT RAVEN SIMULATOR” for him, as a test subject, to practice interacting with other students. We just have to remove the lenses, make very convincing that everything is just a simulator/game, and lure him out from his room to attend his classes

Me: but what if he notice our trick?

Taniya: don’t worry I’ll tell the other students/teachers that we have to play along with his virtual fantasy and not let Idia to suspect anything and everything that is reality

Me: but what if it fail?

Taniya: *sighs* if it fails, well at least we can do is getting him to experience of going out for one last time

Taniya: at the end of class, we’ll send him back to his room and tell everyone never mentioned about our “getting idia out from his room” plan

Me: ok that really is too much work but that’s actually smart of you

Taniya: well it’s that least I can do to help a friend to boost his confidence

Me: aww *hugs her*

Question 21: Who would you rather train with, Jack, Sebek, or Ashton?

Me: is it alright to say none of them?

Taniya: training with Jack, ok but with Ashton, no way

Question 22: You’re locked up in Mr. S’s shoppe after hours, who’s with you?

Me: do I really have to pick? then ace and kamil, we’ll get in trouble in the morning

Taniya: Ruggie, I guess? he’ll help me find a potion that can grow my height

Question 23: Leona fell asleep…again. This time on top of you. You have potions in 15 minutes; what do you do?

Me: I don’t mind sleeping with him, he’s kind of cute and comfy to begin with

Taniya: I’ll gently push him off and draw his face with a permanent marker while he’s asleep. When he wakes up, I’ll pretend nothing happened until someone notice his face

Me: that’s kinda devious

Taniya: that’s what he get for sleeping on me

Question 24: Would you rather go on a magic carpet ride with Kalim, let Vil give you the Pomefiore spa treatment, or play on Azul’s grand piano (with his supervision)?

Me: magic carpet with kalim!

Taniya: a spa treatment would be nice

Me: why don’t you join us?

Taniya: you know I have aerophobia! I won’t go anywhere that involves flying

Me: *whispers* you’re no fun

Taniya: I heard that

Question 25: Grimm feels a little left out. Comfort him?

Me: yes, I’ll give him a stuffed mouse to play with

Taniya: I’ll bring him along with me on a journey

Me: ohh like what?

Taniya: as a dorm assistant, I’ll hire him as my helping buddy to do the work in my dormitory

Me: that’s nice

Ok that's all you want to see here and wow this is really long. For the tags, I bet almost everyone are already been tagged since I've been posting this kinda late so.... I guess @nerdgod555 , @ocean-water-tea , and @mint-sugar-1121 if anyone wants to do this game just go to @edda-blattfe and you can find that mention tw tag game. Hope u enjoy our crazy journey bye~

Taniya: good bye~ *waves her hand* ^-^

#twisted wonderland #oc #Taniya Kalisha #featuring me & my oc #man this is fing long

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randomscenariosandwritings · 5 years

Text

The Moon and the Sun She Could Never Reach

~The Sun and the Moon He Loved~ NCT!Soulmate Au Part 1.5

Parts--> Part 1//Part 1.5 (You are here now)//Thanksgiving Special//Part 2// Part 2.5// Part 3

A/N Hey everyone! So this is not a part 2 sorry, not quite done with that yet but I wanted to give you something to hold you over until then so I wrote this up. Basically, it’s more of his side of the story, what he was doing the actual context behind everything he did. I hope you enjoy it! It might also be helpful in trying to determine who her soulmate is ;) so there’s that! Remember to feel free to comment I love hearing what you have to say and love hearing your guesses for who her soulmate is, feel free to continue to guess and guess at other characters as well (I really like keeping secrets from you guys sorry not sorry, but I promise you’ll get real names in part 2 maybe not everyone’s name but you’ll get names). Forewarning I suck at and hate editing my work because I am lazy af so it is entirely likely that this sucks and is super crappy I really hope it isn’t but there is always a chance so keep that in mind! Try to enjoy it though! Thanks so much for liking the original!! <3

Description: He was the sun and she was the moon and they were soulmates. Which was both a blessing and a curse. She needed his light and warmth and he needed her to reflect it back to him, but they were ever so distant, both unable to truly reach each other. He reached out for her every way he could, but only in his darkest moments could she ever be found.

Genre: same as last time angst and fluff

Warnings: same as last time: alcohol and death, mentions of abuse, mentions of tattoos, also swearing forgot that one on the last one but it’s here now (Please let me know if there are any warnings you would like on this list or any future lists, I want to make sure my blog and posts are safe for everyone and won’t cause any harm in any way, but I can’t do that if you don’t inform me of these kinds of things)

Word count: 4271 words

(Not my gif, credit goes to the original owner, I can’t make gifs so they will never be mine just saying also here’s a quick hint ;) her soulmate is in this gif)

It was his grandpa who shaped how he felt about soulmates, more specifically his own soulmate. It was not his mother who spent her days buried in work and her nights drowning in alcohol to try to wash away, forget, and distract herself from the memories of her own soulmate, his father, who she'd lost too early. It was not her, who tried desperately to blind herself to his last words permanently written around her wrist in a font too pretty for the pain they carried. Nor did he learn it from his lifelong neighbor who was a mixture of hope and utter disdain for his soulmate, both because of the very words on his wrist and the possibility that they might be the last words his soulmate would ever say to him, which if true would mean a very short and tragic story for the pair of them. It was instead his Grandpa who saw a world in black and white and gray once again after only a few short years of seeing in color. It was his grandpa who had loved his soulmate dearly even after she left him for another man and even after she died in a fiery plane crash somewhere over the US. His grandpa had told him since the day he was born that love was worth the pain, that seeing in color for even just a few years was worth it. to have beauty and wonder and magic for even just a short while was worth all the pain that came during and after. It was his grandfather that taught him that yes, love is poison, but it's the best way to die. He was taught that even if life hurts it can still be beautiful and the beauty is worth all the pain, that's why some of the best artists were some of the most troubled people.

So, he did everything he could to remind himself that there was beauty tied to all the pain that would inevitably come his way. He wrote poems and drew pictures on his arm and made his skin beautiful to make himself remember to love her because she was beautiful and love is and was beautiful no matter how much it hurts. He must love his soulmate, the one he was given because no matter what happened the time they would have together would be beautiful and wonderful and magical. Even if it only leads to pain and trauma. So, he drew on his arm and wrote to his soulmate and talked to her and wished for her because everyone dies one day and everyone would leave one day, everyone would be gone eventually and he wanted to go out on his own terms. He wanted to go out knowing he'd truly lived and had seen beauty had really beheld it. He wanted to die knowing he had lived and loved and seen beauty in a dark world made of pain, he found a light. He wanted to die having lived and known a beautiful life.

He was well aware that the very reasons he drew on his arms were the very reasons his mother hated that he did it. She didn't care one bit for the potential of ink poisoning, not when she was giving herself alcohol poisoning. She only cared because it was him celebrating everything she was running from, celebrating everything she was trying to drown out. She saw it as a lie he was telling himself because she'd lived the loss of a soulmate and losing him wasn't beautiful, losing him wasn't easy. Remembering the good times didn't make losing him in a car crash any easier. She had lost her own soulmate young and here he was celebrating the possibility. It was like a slap to her face and he loved his mother. So, he hid his musings, his gentle ramblings, and carefully drawn art underneath long sleeves and careful actions to protect his mother from the pain his hope would cause her and to protect himself and his soulmate because he understood well what happened when pain and alcohol mixed and found a target.

His mother being drunk was hardly a rare occurrence but her being awake while he made dinner was. So he was shocked when his mother came stumbling around the corner a bottle in hand and alcohol on her breath and his hands weren't fast enough to roll his sleeves back down to cover the images on his arm before she saw them. Her eyes darkened as they landed on his colorful arms and it was only then that he thought the panicked words "Shit, mom's drunk again," entirely unaware that his soulmate had just heard him and nearly fallen out of bed, instead just focused on trying to control his mother's pain and rage and failing miserably.

He went to bed in pain and woke up sore and was eternally grateful that his soulmate wouldn't feel the full effects of these bruises, they were only skin deep for her, only minor wounds that would hurt when pressed upon but were otherwise insubstantial. He went to school that day and was careful to avoid using pens so as to avoid the itch to decorate his skin. It wasn't safe or smart to draw all over his arm right after being caught.

The next day he locked his pens up in his desk drawer and hid the key in his bookshelf and for the next couple of days, all was well until one night while working on math homework.

There on his skin in black ink, dark and obvious against his skin, bold and unapologetic something was written. He didn't even read it at first as he panicked at his failure for a brief second before remembering the lock on the drawer and the key in the bookshelf and the pencil bag filled with only pencils and erasers. So after calming, he stared at the words and found unfamiliar handwriting and the carefully written "Are you Ok?" his thoughts raced immediately at the sudden realization that for the first time in his life his soulmate had actually written to him.

"She’s real! Oh my goodness! She’s real! She exists! What do I do?" He thought rapidly his thoughts firing at a mile a minute all because suddenly she wasn't just a phantom in his mind, she was real and she had handwriting and he was freaking out. He started grinning and couldn't stop and his arms flailed as he squealed quietly to himself, because oh my goodness I'm actually not alone and all of this hasn't been for nothing and she's worried about me because I haven't been drawing on my arm!!! He was ecstatic and thrilled and he wondered if this is what girls felt like while watching really cheesy romance films and the couple finally got together or if girls felt this way about being noticed by their crush. After a moment of absolute joy, he quickly stood and grabbed the key from his bookshelf and unlocked the box so he could respond. "I will be," he wrote carefully a smile still lingering on his face as he stared down at her words. He pulled out his phone and snapped a quick photo as proof that his soulmate was real and that she at least cared a little bit and because he was absolutely in love with her handwriting and her in general and wanted to capture this moment.

His happiness, however, faded when suddenly a woman's voice appeared in his head, "Dammit, why can't he just give me a straight answer? I just wanted to know so I could stop worrying and go back to ignoring him forever, why must he be so damn difficult? Just answer you jerk, so I can put my mind at rest and we can go back to never speaking," His heart fell and shattered on this cold truth, that she wanted nothing to do with him. He knew it was her voice, it was the only thing that made sense, but suddenly he didn't want to know what her voice sounded like, he didn't want to know that her voice was one of the most wonderful things he'd ever heard, because the words it delivered were not. It hurt to be told by your soulmate, in your first interaction and the first time you've ever heard their voice, that they'd rather not have anything to do with you...ever.

"Well then I’m never going to answer cause I don’t want you to avoid me anymore," He responded bitterly in his mind and only slightly hoping that she would hear his response because he was highly upset with her.

"Please, just answer me, it’s driving me up the wall," Her voice said in response, meaning she'd heard his words. Her voice sounded exasperated which only infuriated him further. How dare she ignore him like this and get his hopes up by finally reaching out to him in the most insincere manner he'd ever heard.

"No, if it keeps you talking to me you’ll never know," He responded quite literally physically sticking his tongue out though there was no one in the room with him and then mentally chiding himself for his dumb behavior and silently questioning whether or not his soulmate was supposed to bring out the most immature parts of him or if this was a bad sign?

"So mature," she scoffed distracting him from his rambling thoughts about all of this and this odd situation he'd gotten caught up in. "Fine, don't tell me," She added a moment later and he sighed upset with the fact that he'd upset her, though he wasn't sure why because she'd upset him first. Maybe it was just because he was hardcore in love with her and this whole conversation hadn't changed that because her voice was amazing and he wasn't about to base his entire view of his soulmate around one conversation.

He had wanted to reply but was interrupted by a slurred voice from the hallway, "What are you doing?" his mother asked in her drunken voice and he sighed.

"Sorry mom, just working on homework, I'll come to make dinner now," He responded standing up and started to leave the room forgetting about his short sleeves and the black ink on his arm until she caught his wrist as he was walking past. He knew what was coming as soon as her hand closed around his arm and couldn't help but think "Well, tonight is the night I die..." he frowned as his mom pulled his arm closer to her eyes so she could read what was written. He prayed that his soulmate hadn't heard this last comment in his head, he didn't want to worry her more than she already was, even if she didn't particularly like him.

"Oh, so you're talking to her now?" His mother said with a dark tone her eyes darkening with rage as she took another swallow from the bottle in her hands. "I guess I didn't teach you well enough that only pain comes from soulmates," She said and dragged him towards the kitchen.

It was an hour after she finally stopped that he regained the ability to move and so he carefully struggled to stand up and then walked, or more like stumbled, towards the back door. Eventually, he made it through the door and collapsed against the back wall of the house. He stared up at the moon and smiled lightly. "I finally talked to her today," He said softly able to ignore the pain as he talked to the moon about the woman whose voice was in his head and words were on his skin. "I don't think she likes me very much, but I think it's just fear, these days there are so many stories about soulmates going bad and even if there weren't it wouldn't be too hard to get worried about this whole fated to be with someone. I think she's scared, but I'll keep loving her anyway," He said staring up at his friend the moon. "She reminds me of you, distant, cold, beautiful, loving, she's probably a great listener too, just like you. Plus, she's hiding a side of her, just like you," He added a soft smile lingering on his lips as he drifted to sleep in his backyard.

When morning came he didn't want to open his eyes, he wanted the night to return, so he could go back to the time when he spoke to the moon and had no worries other than his soulmate and whether or not she loved him. As soon as he saw the sun in the sky his hands started to shake and tears began to stream down his face. He could no longer hide from what had happened not in the glaring and garish light of day. The moon had always been gentle and kind, alluring in that it offered peace and hope in the darkness, but the sun had always been harsh and unforgiving it watched everything and stood distant with no quiet solace like the moon, but instead with the knowledge that you could never have it never reach it. It was distant and harsh and thought it knew all his secrets. The sun was no friend just a harsh critic who thought they understood him.

In the light of day he could not ignore the harsh bruises and the deep pain that he felt and had, he could not run to a quiet friend who would listen and comfort him instead he had to face the truth. A harsh and burning reality that his mom had beat him...again. That this was slowly turning into a habit of hers. The first time she'd beaten him had been the night when he'd been cooking dinner just a few days ago, this was only the second time and he didn't know how to handle it. He was scared and hurt and unsure and so his hands shook violently, his breathing became ragged, and his body was racked by the sobs that coursed through him each violent tremor of his body hurting him more and more. He had never been more thankful of the entirely superficial nature of his bond to his soulmate, that the pain would only carry skin deep. She wouldn't feel most of it and it made him glad that she was safe from this but that wasn't enough to calm his terror and soothe his agony.

He started to ramble unable to stop words from pouring out of his mouth like water dripping through fingers. "Please, please, please, please," He repeated over and over again unaware of who he was pleading to or what he was pleading for only aware that something was wrong, nothing was right.

Then he heard her voice "My favorite was, 'I’ll hold you in my arms and fly, We’ll fly towards the blue moon’ that was my favorite one of his little writings" and the thought of the moon and of her calmed him just enough to stop the muttering, remembering the image he'd drawn on his skin, the delicate blue moon and small blue stars framing carefully done words caused the tears to stop. He could remember sitting in class bored out of his mind as his math teacher droned on and on about something or other that he knew he should've been listening to. He remembered the gentle thought of just wanting to fly away, to soar out into nothingness away from the dismal, dreary, darkness of everyday life and enter a place far beyond. He remembered picking up the black pen and staring down at his skin and remembering his soulmate and the words coming to him then and there as he thought of his soulmate and flight and a better life. It was these memories that stopped the tears, not her voice, not the words she had said but memories of safety, memories of a time when all he had felt was love and peace and hope.

Once he stopped crying he stood shakily and he walked carefully to the side of his house where the fence gate stood and exited the backyard and turning right to go to his neighbor's house. He was still quivering and shaking as he reached his fist up towards the wooden door before him. He knocked lightly on the door and was thrilled when the youngest and only daughter of the household opened the door. "Oh, thank goodness, you're just who I needed to see," He said startling the girl slightly, he only ever came over to see her older brother.

"Why?" She asked staring at him like he was a madman very startled by his shakiness and the redness of his eyes. She knew something was wrong and had no clue why he would be looking for her in his moment of need.

"I need to borrow some makeup to cover some bruises before my soulmate sees them," He responded quickly and she nodded with a slight frown before beckoning him inside and leading him to her room, she didn't know how he'd got the bruises and didn't want to ask if it had anything to do with his haggard and shaken appearance. He looked like a leaf in the fall that had fallen to the ground and been trampled on one too many times and she didn't want to know what had caused such a bright boy to collapse like this.

"Do you need help with it?" She asked carefully as she handed him the makeup he'd need, watching him with a keen eye as he shook.

"No, I'll be ok, thanks though," He responded with a soft smile and she nodded watching him leave and undoubtedly enter her brother's room to get help from the older male.

She knew she was right when she heard her brother's voice "Are you sure you don't need help?" and then the quivering voice that answered him.

"Please," Was his answer in a shattered voice, but she knew she'd be no help and went back downstairs to watch whatever was on.

His hands were still shaking by the time the two of them had gotten the makeup to cover all the dark bruises that ran from his collarbone down to his waist. So his friend began to talk.

"Do you want to stay here for a couple of days?" His older friend asked carefully.

"No, my mom needs me, she won't eat if I'm not there and she doesn't mean it she's just hurting, it's worse lately because their anniversary is this month," He replied shaking his head softly, "But thanks for the offer," He added a moment later smiling timidly up at the older male, someone he'd come to see as an older brother.

"Let's go downstairs and get some breakfast," The older male said gently, extending his hand to help the younger boy up and then carefully guiding him down the stairs to the kitchen. They fixed up two bowls of cereal and chatted happily as friends do.

Not too long after breakfast, he ended up sprawled out on their living room couch while the two siblings bickered about what show to watch. He studied his hands carefully every now and then silently checking on whether or not they'd stopped shaking while his thoughts wandered to his soulmate and what she was doing. He wondered if she was awake yet or if she'd been awake longer than him, entirely unaware that she was talking to her brother about him.

Once his hands stopped shaking he couldn't help but think of her and the gentle words that had led to the memories and his ability to stop crying and so he made the decision then and there that today he was going to make her feel beautiful again. Today he needed the reminder more than ever that pain was made worthwhile by beauty. That even when the world burns and you stand in the center of the flames there is still something beautiful about that moment. At that moment he understood the allure of the sun, the bright golden rays, the warmth, the exhilaration of life brought by its fiery heat. So he reached over to the table nearby where he'd seen pens earlier and began to decorate his skin.

His friends watched him with warm smiles on their face as they realized he was doing fine once more, he hadn't lost that hopeful spark that the world was beautiful. They watched him as he carefully drew and wrote on his skin until suddenly he looked up at them with a mischevious glint in his eyes. "I need a favor," He said as he capped the pen and finished his last drawing upon his skin. "Will one of you write something across my collarbone?" He questioned with an innocent look on his face, a too innocent look on his face like a child trying to hide that they'd broken something.

"Fine," the other male responded coming over to kneel in front of the now art covered male. "Only because it might help me meet my soulmate," He responded before grumbling about something under his breath.

"You really think that writing on him is going to help?" His sister questioned wheezing with laughter at her older brothers thought process.

"Hey, all I know is the first time I meet my soulmate he's gonna yell 'Where have I seen your handwriting before?' if it just so happens that he sees it because I agreed to do this then that's great, I'm just trying to get my handwriting out in more places so I can meet the love of my life whoever that is," He responded rolling his eyes at his sister.

"Ok, I want you to write 'I’m tired of their stories let’s write our own,' across my collarbone," He directed pointing where he wanted it with his hand. The older male nodded and got to work writing it as carefully as he could. "Ok, now underneath that in smaller handwriting, write 'I’m getting this tattooed somewhere on me, eventually, so you can never forget if you want a say in where have someone write the answer on the back of your neck or something." He directed a moment later.

"Wait, what?" the older male said pausing as he wrote when he realized the younger boy was telling them all he was planning on getting a tattoo.

"You heard me, now write, old man," the younger boy directed a tad bit impatiently and the older man followed his directions and concluded writing the sentence. The three of them waited patiently in anticipation for an answer and were surprised to see it arriving on his right arm. "Well now I know she's right-handed," the younger boy said as the writing appeared in a different handwriting than the earlier 'are you ok?'. Then the older male began to read the answer aloud.

"I will accept this tattoo in one of three places, exactly where it is now, across the top of my back, or as a tramp stamp," He read not quite realizing what he'd said for a moment and this his face blanched slightly while his sister burst out laughing and the younger male blushed and hid his face in his hands.

"She's perfect," He muttered softly into his hands hiding the embarrassment and the absolutely giddy smile on his face. He rocked back and forth slightly nearly squealing...again.

"Only you would get this excited over the fact that your soulmate just suggested she get a tramp stamp," spoke the only girl in the room through fits of laughter.

"At this point, I'm pretty sure he'd think she was perfect no matter what she'd said unless it was ‘ew! No don't get a tattoo!’" replied the older male finally recomposing himself.

"I think you're right," replied his sister laughing once more about the boy who was absolutely giddy and rolling on the floor about his soulmate. "Oh wait, there's more writing showing up," She added a moment later and then began to read it aloud, "Whose handwriting is this on my sister's chest?"

"Ok, quick we've got to answer her, step one tell her I'm leaving it where it is but I may consider the tramp stamp idea and then answer that other question however you see fit," Spoke the younger boy finally collecting himself. The older man wrote quickly and that was the last communication between the two that day.

He spent most of the day with his older friend and his sister talking about his soulmate and their soulmates, his friend's sister had already found her soulmate so she spent most of the time just hyping them up with the idea of having a soulmate and getting them excited for the possibilities while the two boys made comments about what they thought their soulmates would be like. Whether they'd be tall or short and how they'd end up first meeting them.

Eventually, though he returned home and made his mother dinner before sneaking off into his room to sleep the night away, excited for the days to come and the future they could possibly hold, a future where he might meet the woman who had told him she wouldn't mind a tramp stamp.

(Still not my gif, credit to the owner/creator, cause I love it it’s super cute)

Congrats and thank you for making it this far in the post you’re amazing whoever you are and I love you!!! I hope you enjoyed this and I hope it’s not too much of the same thing I just really wanted to get you guys something as a reward for being amazing and because y’all were really excited about the last part and I don’t know I wanted to do something nice for all of you amazing people but it’s hard to write an extra part and the real part 2 at the same time. It was easiest to just work with what I had but if it’s too similar for you or you feel like you pretty much just read the same thing again I do apologize and totally understand. Anyways I really hope you liked it and thanks for sticking with me!! ALSO, ONE LAST REMINDER TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU AND I WILL LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOUR COMMENT IS JUST A KEYBOARD SMASH FOLLOWED BY A HEART OR JUST A HEART OR LIKE ANYTHING REALLY!!!! (Sorry, that’s kind of really aggressive...I just really like hearing from you...and I want you to know that...)

~~~~~~BONUS FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY MADE IT THIS FAR Y’ALL ARE WONDERFUL HUMAN BEINGS~~~~~~

“I want you to think very carefully about your answer to this next question,” She said as she glared at her brother who sat across from her. “Your answer will determine your fate, so be careful,” She added her eyes cold and focused on him.

“I only speak the truth,” He replied his steely gaze matching her glare neither one about to back down. “Now ask away,” He added and gazed carefully at the situation, this next chain of events could likely spell victory for her and that could not be allowed to happen, not with what lay on the line.

“Taeyong, do you,” She began her voice low and intimidating as she kept her eyes carefully transfixed on him, “Do you have any eights?” She questioned keeping her face devoid of emotion other than fierce competitiveness and utter intimidation.

“Go fish,” Taeyong responded and watched patiently as she drew from the pile if she drew an eight the game was effectively over, but if she didn’t he would be the winner, he knew all her other cards and had at least one of each of them, except for the eight, if she’d guessed any other card her victory would have been assured, with only four cards left in the draw pile, three of which were eights, the other the missing five, the odds were highly stacked in her favor but with a little luck he could still triumph. He watched her carefully, his face still as she glanced at the card. She tried desperately to keep up the cool and collected act but he saw her eyes twitch slightly and a smirk grew on his face. She deposited the card into her hand and he immediately started asking for her cards each one getting delivered up to him creating match after match. He had won. “I look forward to breakfast tomorrow, make something good,” He said with a smirk as he piled the cards back together to clean them up.

“Shut up, we both know I’m the better cook,” She replied sticking her tongue out at her brother.

“So mature my dear sister, so very mature,” He replied standing up. “Have fun waking up early to make it, I’ll be sleeping in,” He added as he walked away. She stuck her tongue out at his retreating back.

“I’ll be sleeping in,” She mocked in an odd voice as she grumbled to herself and started her own trek to her room. Looks like she was on breakfast duty in the morning. This was the fourth day in a row, she was starting to think she might just be really bad at Go Fish...

#nct imagines #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #nct scenarios #nct 2018 #kpop imagine #kpop scenario #kpop soulmate au #soulmate au #nct soulmate au #the sun and moon #love #sm entertainment #angst

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tsunamirains · 6 years

Text

Rambles, Part 9

8:39 AM

1) I haven’t really been to sleep but I know I will in a bit!

I’ve been running a low grade fever for a few days and it’s been making me restless with all the night sweats.

1.5) Someone told me a while back (because he knew me and my body temperature) that because I was sweating like that I had some type of fever in me.

I thought it was silly until one day I was hot as hell and the house was 68 degrees.

Think I had a 101 fever that night. I don’t know.

2) Yesterday was such a mess, but success in some parts.

Dealing with past shit was a mess, but I got to be honest with some people I hurt and one I felt hurt me.

3) Watched The Social Network for the first time and it was pretty good.

I understand the exaggeration, but....Mark was an asshole lol. It was like Apple all over again.

But FUCK to be a billionaire at such a young age is something else.

4) I’ll probably add more throughout the day

5) Tumblr is DEAD at 4 in the morning lol

6) My male friends are a bunch of dorks and I love them :)

7) Reading the book When You Love Too Much, has really opened my eyes to the way I am.

I’m only on chapter 2 and see that I have a romance addiction.

8) I think what irked the fuck out of me was the assumption that I became social because of someone else.

I stated at the beginning of this series I was scared to do this, so I never did. Shouldn’t it be good that I’m finally stepping out of my comfort zone?

8.5) And it was like it’s a problem I’m talking on post now....

Honestly it was because I would get caught up so I never said much of what I wanted. Repression. Some shit came to an argument years ago about something I said on here. Who knows what though?

So now, yes the fuck I wanna be the social butterfly I always wanted to be. Begging for attention...no. I just like people and would like to speak to them.

9) TMI

* * * * * *

I get to try these diva cups that I ordered a while back. I forgot all about them until last night when I was thinking of TSS lol

They’re a lot smaller than I thought

10) I tend to read tones wrong. I think I want someone to be as giddy as me and when they’re not it makes me question their interest.

Like when someone sends you a text, but they didn’t add the emoji, but IRL lol

11) I just learned how to make GIFs!!! I’m in this bitch now!!!!!

Don’t judge me. I was late to the gif reaction game anyway

12) I can’t sleep!!!!

13) I’ve been trying to look for some cheap overalls to paint in, but the thrift stores don’t have them so I might have to pay $30 for some -___-

14) That was so irritating!! And I know they are too! Gah!!

15) There’s this nigga on my FB that is attractive and fashion forward, but he say some of the DUMBEST, most misogynoirist shit!!!!!

I really don’t have an excuse for not deleting him. Probably scared to lol. And he’s cute. I usually just ignore his post and don’t like his shit.

Yeah, imma delete him

16) Speaking of cute friends. I just added a cute stranger to my FB lol. He was in my suggested friends so I requested him.

17) I wonder how it’s going to be sleeping with my boyfriend/husband.

I never slept well with other people. I’m just more restless than usual.

18) I wonder how all these women with BBL and all this other plastic surgery will look in the future.

I always thought of getting my boobs done until I learned there’s maintenance surgery after so long. Same with all the other plastic surgery and I ain’t ready to give that money up lol.

18.5) I already paid STUPID money from something cosmetic and it was stupid lol

But it has helped TREMENDOUSLY! Just wish I shopped around more

19) I’m just now hearing a song called “Crush” by Yuna ft. Usher and it is the CUTEST thing ever!!!! The video is so precious. Then song is sweet

I’ve been feeling the playlist afterwards because it has Daniel Caesar and I’ve been sleeping on him

19.5) I really feel the new age R&B. I really like it.

20) I really enjoy men with longer finger nails. Not super long, but enough to give nice scratches....

21) I was horny as fuck and saw some dumb shit I should have deleted.

Always got something to say too huh lol

22) I notice I don’t have any feeling in/on my nipples. On a scale of 0-100, it’s like a 5 in all seriousness. So like all the titty suckin post doesn’t make sense to me cause I’ll just look at you and smile cause you enjoying yourself.

22.5) Or not cause the A cups lol

23) I think I slept a total of 2 hours today. I’m sleepy but can’t sleep

#rambles #personal #personal thoughts #confessions #confession #tumblr confessions

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cinqnovembre · 6 years

Text

What 2017 taught me

Today is the 29th of December 2017, 13.49. Two and a half days to 2018.

As you know me, I’m a type of person who really like to reminisce. So, I’ve been spending the last days of 2017 looking back at, not only my life, but everyone’s (friends, family, even strangers).

Firstly, I’d like to explain a bit why I like to reminisce.

Do you know the feeling when you rewatch a movie you saw when you were a child and you’re like “oh! that’s what it meant! I didn’t understand back then because I was too young to understand”? That’s exactly how I feel.

I love re-reading old chats with my exes, long time friends, current friends, families, etc. Sometimes I laugh at how awkward I was with my now best friend. Sometimes I cringed at how stupid I was at replying an old crush. Sometimes I slap my forehead reading at how childish I was nagging at my parents. It was a kind of entertainment for me.

Sometimes I read old chats with my ex and I remember again the feelings. How I loved him so much back then and how I feel very much loved, a romantic feeling I’ve long forgotten. My lips curve when I read them. How innocent, how pure. I think it’s true when people say that, we may not remember what people do or say to us, but we will always remember how people make us feel.

I also came across old chats where I told my friends about my broken heart. And immediately, my heart aches again. I can still feel the pain. I remember those days where I just curl in bed crying my heart out. I then read my texts to the ‘culprit’ who broke my heart and I saw how ‘trying-to-look-cool’ I was. All the effort to stand still.

All of these make me realise how much I have grown, how far I have gone. There are some drawbacks and advances in my life but overall, I think that I become more mature. I learn so much this year. I look back and now I understand why things happened the way it was. How they shaped me. I was so angry at God before (oh forgive me Lord) for putting me through so many broken moments but then I realised His bigger plan. Way better than mine.

I understand things I didn’t before. I still believe though that age has nothing to do with maturity but still, as time goes by, experiences shape us and make us wiser, if we let them. If we just take things for granted, I doubt that we will even grow. So this is my way of learning, looking back and reminiscing.

Some friends ask me, is it really useful to do that? Won’t you fall back to old feelings? Some even wonder “you really stored all of those chats still??”

Well to answer the first questions for me, it is useful. It makes me more aware to things happening in my life and to accept what has been done rather than regretting it. Sometimes I feel “damn, I should have said this” or “I should have done that”. But even if I could turn back time, I won’t know better so I’d do the same. And I also believe that everything that happens including the mistakes are what make me now. Making me wiser and more mature in just the right pace. I don’t want to change a bit of it..

Second, will I fall back to old feelings? Not really. I sometimes miss them though. I miss how happy I was at that time (because ignorant is bliss, eh?) and the presence of that someone who now may not be present anymore, etc. But again, I keep in mind that things happened anyway and they happened for a reason, whether I understand it or not. I think that’s why I can limit my reminiscing moment to really just learning. Because, where else can we learn about life? Other than people’s advices, we don’t have professional classes for that. Well then I have to make my own lol.

Oh and btw, sometimes doing this can be a way to reconfirm that you have really moved on. If you can read old chats and not feeling anything anymore, just smiling and acknowledging the fact and go on with your day, then hey, look who has their life back together? Ayee!

Thirds, yes I do. I save them. In hard drives, clouds, phones. I am really bad at deleting stuffs that were once important. And yes, including when I break up. Usually I just store them in hard drive or cloud and then delete the stuffs on my phone. Just so I have harder access to reach them.

Okay enough with the reasoning (woah 1.5 pages already). I want to tell a bit about what I learned from 2017 and looking back at it.

2017 has been kinda rough for me. Heartbreak is my friend. This one particular guy was the highlight of my year. He who brought the light and colours to my life and take them (temporarily) when he left me.

From the beginning, I know i can’t be with him but the heart wants what it wants, stupidly. So I let myself loving him. He, who knew this fact, let this happen as well. When he knew better how much pain I would feel after.

Long story short, he left. I was broken so much. I who used to see him everyday, call his name all the time, have his presence, smell his perfume every day, can no longer see him. For 17 days after he left (yes I counted), I sleep myself crying every night. I hugged his shirt that had his perfume on it and think about him until I was tired. I acted cool and stuffs in front of him though. As if I wasn’t sad, ignoring his calls and texts when in fact I was hurt so badly. Why did I do this? Because what good will come from him knowing that I miss him so much? If he misses me back and we got closer again, it is just like setting up a new time bomb. If he doesn’t miss me back, then there would be a risk of him just playing with my feelings (again) and in the end I would be hurt even more. So, rationally, really, why would I show it to him?

Day 18, I got the realisation that I want to move on. I need to have my life back. So many things are on stake (my master degree, my thesis, my health, my life!). So, I threw away his shirts and perfume. From that day onward, I started to focus on my life back. I still cry myself crying some nights, but not as frequent as I used to.

The turning point of my life was when my laptop was broken. I forgot which day after he left it was but I remember feeling devastated, I think somewhat more than when he left. All my work and data for the whole semester was gone. That moment, I was slapped very hard. I was too focused with something who isn’t even meant for me that I neglected my life. I didn’t take care of myself let alone my laptop that things got lost and broken. This time, my whole life are really on stake.

That was the day where I realise that many many many many things matter more than him. Okay, I once loved him and he may has feelings for me. But it’s over already. Yes you can mourn him but this is way over the line.

First, your life matters more.

Second, I realise that no matter how far I am, my family are the ones who will always got my back. Thousand miles apart, but they kept checking on me about how I am, they even got up late just so they can pray for me and talk to me when I was crying. This is the moment where I realise how much I love them. And it doesn’t really matter where I will live in this world, as long as I can love them.

Slowly, I start to put him where he belong, In the past. I focused back on my study, my health, my life, my friends, and my family.

After him, I stumbled upon someone who tested my morality. I can’t really say a lot about this other person yet because the story hasn’t finished (maybe this will be a reflection for next year?). But I guess, after all that has happened to me, all that I have learned, this person comes as a kind of ‘final exam’ from God. Will I pass it or will I retake my ‘classes’ again?

In the end, I realise something this year.

“Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may be falling into place”

I guess that quote neatly summed up my year. All the stumbling and falling and breaking and crying, they all ultimately shape me. In the end, I see that they make things fall into place. Realising my own worth even after being trashed by a guy, realising that guy’s worth after all this time being blinded by what they call “love”. Realising my family’s undying love and attention. Discovering the fun with my friends. And ultimately, realising that all that happened in this world has been planned by Him and it would be the best scenario for you.

Knowing that, I am at peace.

After all the messy stories and sleepless nights, I am at peace.

Thank you God. I have never learned so much about life until this day. I love you so much and thank you.

Now, 2018, I won’t ask you to be nice to me. In fact, I won’t ask you for anything. Because I am the one who will make it. The nice things, the bad things, with the help of God, I will be the captain of my sail.

So just sit down and see ;)

Thank you, God. My heart feels at ease.

#mine

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