#my life in any fandom in a nut shell

[animentality]

the funny thing about the Black Butler revival is that Sebaciel is taking a lot of heat right now, here in the year of our lord and savior 2024, in which all ships are problematic and toxic.

because it's a pedo ship.

which is the most perfect low hanging fruit in all of anti existence.

but like, Sebaciel is really a microcosm of pro vs anti ship discourse in general, right?

everyone insists oh you like Sebaciel? you must be a pedophile... while totally ignoring that a lot of fucking teenage girls read Black Butler and imagine themselves AS CIEL. they have a crush on SEBASTIAN.

that's why they ship them. they're not generally lusting for the minor, they're imagining themselves as the minor, being MINORS themselves, and have crushes on the suave sexy demon guy... because that's literally budding adolescence in a nut shell.

Sure there are people who lust for ciel... but it's a fucking shonen. it's for teens.

Teens are allowed to have fucking crushes on Ciel and Naruto and Ichigo. They're also allowed to have crushes on adults, WHO ARE NOT REAL and can't return their affections or hurt them in literally any way other than fictional related trauma.

is it really that shocking that teens are projecting themselves on/lusting for the fucking kid protagonists? you know, like they're generally going to do??? because they're hormonal but also bc it's very normal for humans to have goddamn crushes on human shaped (and less human shaped) things???

and is it really that shocking that teens girls would lust after Sebastian?

are you telling them they can't do that, and then also ship their little self insert goth child with the object of their affection?

and also.

ALSO.

the harder thing for these people to swallow...

fucking adults can ship anything they want too.

literally who gives a fuck

just shipping a problematic age difference ship doesn't make you anything at all.

being an asshole in fandom spaces does, like harassing people for shipping or not shipping Sebaciel, sending death threats, doxing, whatever, but just the act of jerking it to Sebaciel fanfics, or writing them for yourself and friends, is not a goddamn crime.

nor is it anything other than a Catholic sin.

so I'm laughing at the modern discourse, as angry adults and teens try to cancel Sebaciel.

tale as old as time. but also Sebaciel is the fucking OG.

The og of queerbait shotacon nonsense.

you weren't gonna stop people in 2008, you won't stop them now.

just hang out in your own space and leave other people alone.

also just fyi. I don't ship this.

I ship toxic old man yaoi.

but I'm rolling my eyes and slapping you if I see you in the wild insisting a Sebaciel artist is a pedophile guilty of a real crime in real life.

get some fucking perspective.

#black butler #sebaciel

[atlantablack]

Don't think about Steve Rogers and how he tried so hard to do the right thing despite continuously being beaten down. Or how all he wanted was to protect his friends but in the end he couldn't protect Nat. Or how he wanted to get out, to lead a simple life but the wars kept coming and didn't stop coming and now he's a broken shell of the man he was.

awww Mia :) it's so funny :) how you think I don't already have all this constantly :) constantly :) playing on a loop in my head :)

Although, I will say, 1) i don't think he really could ever get out and lead a "simple life", he'd be bored out of his fucking mind in a month. And a month is generous and 2) he's not a broken shell take that back right now you rude goose, he's just a little traumatized, he's fineeeeee

but you know what yeah, let's think about Steve goddamn motherfucking Rogers huh? Let's think about him! Let's talk about Steve Rogers who didn't join the army for glory or to be a hero, who didn't ask to be in the supersoldier program. let's talk about goddamn Steve Rogers who would have joined any unit, signed up in any city, if it meant he got to go out and fight and do what he felt was his duty even though he would have been a dead man walking the minute anyone stamped his papers with an approval.

"The price of freedom is high, it always has been. And it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not."

let's talk about Steve "Captain America" Rogers who took a joke of a title that every unit laughed at him for, that made him feel like a dancing monkey, let's talk about how he took that title and turned it into something to be proud of. And while we're at it, let's remember that he never asked for that title. Not once. And yet in the end, it eclipsed Steve Rogers so entirely that even the fandom forgets that Captain America is nothing more than some persona that has never fit Steve Rogers quite right.

The most important thing about Steve Rogers has never been Captain America, it's never been the shield, it's never been the serum -- it's always been how he so perfectly embodies what we all wish we could be. Brave in the face of fear. He's never been an icon of America as we know it in any decade.

Steve: By holding a gun to everyone on Earth, and calling it protection. Fury: You know, I read those SSR files, greatest generation? You guys did some nasty stuff. Steve: Yeah, we compromised, sometimes in ways that made us not sleep so well, but we did it so people could be free. This isn't freedom, this is fear.

He's an icon of what people so desperately want America to be, of what we so fucking desperately want people to be. He's the best of humanity. Someone that you want to be like because he makes the hard choices and you know that if he was real and he was here he'd be on the right side of history because that's just who the fuck he is.

My faith's in people, I guess. Individuals. And I'm happy to say that, for the most part, they haven't let me down.

Steve Rogers was a hero and the howling commandos didn't follow him because of some bullshit stars and stripes on his uniform, they followed him because when every one else was ready to condemn them to being another inevitable causality of war, Steve saved them. And maybe he only did it for Bucky, or maybe he would have done it regardless. Does it matter when they're alive?

Maria Hill: File says they volunteered for Strucker's experiments. It's nuts. Steve Rogers: Right. What kind of monster would let a German scientist experiment on them in order to protect their country? Maria Hill: We're not at war, Captain. Steve Rogers: They are.

So, let's talk about how Steve Rogers and Captain America and his shield represented hope. Before he was frozen and got turned into a fictitious symbol of the government and of the United States, he represented nothing but his own actions and his actions gave people hope.

Because if one man, no matter how super-powered, can stand up against governments, against armies, and do what's right even when the entire world is telling him he's wrong, then why can't we do the same thing? When the moment comes why can't I do the same goddamn thing?

Let's just talk about Steve Rogers.

#steve rogers #atlanta rambles #mia tag #captain america #marvel

[a-lil-bi-furious]

10 Favorite Female Characters from 10 Different Fandoms

(List your 10 favorite female characters from 10 fandoms, then tag 10 people)

Thanks so much for the tag @aconfusedidentity! I just think that women 💕😍💕 this turned into an essay, whoops. In no particular order:

1) Kira Yukimura - Teen Wolf SHE!!! I love her endlessly. Awkward and sweet and oh so adorable. I love how shy she seems, but how obvious it is that she loves the mischief and chaos that comes with accidentally discovering she’s a kitsune and adopting a bunch of supernatural friends and the adrenaline rush of fighting for their lives and winning. She’s secretly so excited by the danger and the adventure and I love that for her. Also, she’s gorgeous and brilliant and funny and could easily kick anyone’s ass and I just think she’s neat. She deserved so much better. Jeff, we duel at dawn. I’ll see you in the desert where you left my love 😠🔪 

2) Kara Danvers - Supergirl I just love her so so much. I will endlessly fawn over heroes who champion compassion and believe in the good of others above all else. I also appreciate that Kara is sweet and awkward and loving but is also allowed to express her rage. So many of her scenes dealing with anger are incredibly raw and emotional and as someone with similar struggles it’s just so refreshing to see. Also her DIMPLESSS I’m dying 

3) Bonnie Bennett - The Vampire Diaries

Bonnie is the only person in Mystic Falls who never once makes me want to poke my eyes out. She’s gorgeous, brilliant, courageous, and powerful and no one would have survived in that town if she wasn’t there to save their asses. She deserves the world and I would personally fight Julie Plec if I saw her on the street for how she treated my girl. 🔪 She was used and abused and never got the credit or love she deserved, so now I will give it! I adore her. 

4) Piper Halliwell - Charmed

My favorite of the Halliwell sisters has switched multiple times throughout my life, but as an adult I’ve pretty consistently settled on Piper. She just overall feels so relatable to me? She’s the sister who balances them all out. And I really appreciate the way her character evolved from being shy and sweet to bursting out of her shell to take shit from absolutely no one. She’s got a piping hot temper (get it? piping I’m hilarious) but circles back to make (mostly) level headed decisions to protect the ones she loves. Plus, she’s got the coolest powers and if I could have them I would (freeze time and blow up shit with my hands?? sounds DOPE).

5) Olivia Baker - All American

Have I mentioned yet I have a thing for compassionate characters?? Liv cares so deeply for all of the people in her life. She’s the voice of reason and the guiding light, a source of love and acceptance, and I love her for it. Her empathy for others means she neglects herself, though, so I really need my girl to keep working at valuing and taking care of herself too. Also, she’s one of the prettiest people I’ve ever seen, I am FULL heart eyes.

6) Alice Kwan - Good Trouble

I’m actually devastated by how little content there is for Alice. And how few gifs especially! 😒 She’s hilarious for one, like, legitimately has me laughing which doesn’t happen much with shows. But she’s also just...smol and innocent and kind and really needs to learn to stand up for herself more often. Every episode I go in hoping to see more scenes with Alice because I love her and I actively miss her all the time 🥺 

7) Isabelle Lightwood - Shadowhunters

My love 💜 Brave, smart, resourceful, gorgeous...I just love everything about her. Like so many of my favorite female characters, she could easily kick my ass (and, like, anyone else’s) which I love. I really appreciate what the show did for her by allowing her to be secure in herself and confident and more than just a pretty face. Also love that they had her and Clary actually be friendly and caring instead of at odds, A++. 

8) Julie Molina - Julie and the Phantoms

I JUST LOVE HER AND HER LITTLE LEOPARD FEETS 😭 God, she is so  talented! Her voice feeds my soul and makes my heart so full. I love that she’s kind and caring but also always shown to be strong in her convictions and conscientious of her own wants and needs. She sets boundaries and holds them and I have mad respect for that.

9) Ilana Wexler - Broad City

Listen, Ilana is just so fucking funny I can’t even handle her. I swear, this show is on crack and I love it. Ilana is a lot to handle, but is also exactly the kind of person to just make you feel like literally everything about you is okay and make you feel comfortable to say or do whatever you would normally inhibit yourself from, y’know? I’m a fairly reserved person, but Ilana would crack me open like a nut. I also really appreciate how openly and casually sexual she is, without it feeling like she’s being outwardly sexualized. It’s her expression of her sexuality, and I feel like women are almost never presented that way. 

10) Raven Reyes - The 100

Raven is (one of) the love(s) of my life! She’s brilliant and resourceful and incredibly determined. And she endures so much. One of the things I most appreciate about Raven is her representation as someone with a disability. She gets shot, which causes damage to her hip that they don’t have the means to fix. For a couple seasons she’s in constant pain and has a leg brace which significantly hinders her mobility, but she is still strong and determined and presented as capable which I think is really valuable. I also just think that she’s so pretty and kind and reasonable. I just...I love her. I try to forget about this show most of the time, but I would never forget her <3

Tagging: @welldressedllama @momentofmemory @daughterofluthien @spikeface @donnas-troia @jamesqueerpotter @fearlessflame77  @rhyslahey @aphroditegifs @sillyteecup to participate if any of you would like (no pressure, of course)! And anyone who isn’t tagged but would like to!

#Kira Yukimura #Kara Danvers #Bonnie Bennett #Piper Halliwell #Olivia Baker #Alice Kwan #Isabelle Lightwood #Julie Molina #Ilana Wexler #Raven Reyes #10 favorite female characters #Tag games #long post

[holylulusworld]

Mischief is in my bed

Summary: Loki and you hate each other – right?

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Characters: Thor, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers

Warnings: language, arguments, calling names, two idiots in love, mutual pining, love-hate relationship, smut, protected sex, a hint of unprotected sex, light breeding kink, dirty talk, hair pulling, anal play, cock warming, marking, Loki being Loki

A/N: I had a non-specific request for a Loki fic so here we go with part 2.               

Sequel to: Mischief is in my blood

“You like this, don’t you little minx. Love how my cock makes your body succumb to the God of mischief. Admit it, woman.” Holding your hands pinned to the bed Loki drives wildly into you. 

There is an almost sinister smile on his lips, and you swear, if his cock would not hit your sweet spot right now you would wipe it off his face.

You hate he looks even sexier while having something evil on his mind. One day you should take your time to analyze your state of mind as it turns you on, thinking about all the evil things he could do to you.

“Not bad for an imposer, Loki. Is this your cock or do you use your stupid mind games on me too?” Snickering you wrap your legs around his waist, shamelessly grinding against the Asgardian’s dick.

“All mine, Midgardian. I knew you are a vixen. Look at you pinned to your bed, and my cock so deep in your belly I could fill you with a baby.” 

Your eyes narrow as the black-haired bastard throws his head back, laughing as you believed he’s gone nuts for a moment. “I used the thing you call condom, little bitch but next time…” 

His lips ghosting along your ear shell and his smirk grows. “I’ll fill you up, little Midgardian. You will carry my godly heir.”

“You’re lucky your dick is not that bad. Now stop talking and keep on moving your stupid ass!” 

Biting your neck, he groans against you, enjoys you clench hard around him every time he moans your name.

“You’ll be my slave when I take over your world. I make you scream my name right in front of all your friends. My brother will not stop me from putting a collar around your neck to make you obedient. 

“I will rip you into pieces if you try to pull shit like in New York again.” Grunting you glare at Loki as he pulls out right before you can reach the peak.

He’s flipping you onto your belly, cursing as he looks at your ass.

“I’ll show you how to behave, Midgardian. I am telling you…” Fisting your hair with one hand Loki smirks as you push back onto him. “You want my dick back? Ask nicely, pet.”

“I am…” Panting you feel the tip slip back in. “No pet to you, asshole. Fuck me or I will go to your brother. I bet he can…” You are pinned flat to the mattress by his powers and full of his cock a moment later.

“You’re mine, my little dirty pet. I’ll use you to my pleasure and amusement when I take over the world.” Loki grabs your hips, rocking your whole body with every unforgiving thrust.

“I…I said I am no pet, mischievous asshole…” Loki is laughing loudly at your words as he can feel your body surrender to his touch. 

“Oh?” Sneering he gives you a hard smack to your ass before he stills his hips. Whimpers leave your lips, along with tiny pleas as you were too close to your release. 

“Your tight little pussy sings for me, my cute little Midgardian. I bet if I just…” 

Loki spits on your ass and you gasp as you feel one finger press against your arsehole. “I could use this hole too and you would gladly scream my name.”

“Don’t you dare, imposer! I’ll rip your dick off your body if you dare to touch me there…” 

Unimpressed by your words the God grabs your right shoulder, while the other hand holds your waist in a tight grip. His hips start moving again and your toes begin to curl.

“Little pet takes me so good and deep…” Loki does not even pant as you cannot stop the noises leaving your mouth. 

Pants, cries, and insults leave your lips as his cock seems to have one goal – ruining you for any other guy.

“Stop calling me…oh…I hate you fucker…” Heat rising in your belly you glance over your shoulder, hating Loki still has this self-satisfied grin on his lips.

“Just give in, Midgardian slave. I will make you my favorite pet. You will wear gold…well only gold as I want you naked the whole time…” 

“I…I will…” It is too late to protest as he forces your orgasm out of your spent body. 

Without slowing down, he ruts his hips into your ass, enjoying your helpless whimpers.

“Perfect pet…” His cock twitches violently but he will not waste his cum and shoot it into the condom. 

Pulling out of you he rips the protection off his cock, and you believe he will come over your ass, but he slides back into you, smirking as you wiggle your ass.

“Now it’s perfect…” Cum floats your belly after three more thrusts and you start yelling at him. “Just imagine little pets grow in your belly."

Smirking like the devil Loki moves his hips again, humming as you struggle in his hold.

“Loki! I dare you to cum inside me again!” 

“Shush, Midgardian. I marked my territory. My cum will stay inside of you, just like me.” While Loki drapes his body over yours, awkwardly moving his arms around your waist you wiggle again.

“Get off me, Loki. I have a mission in the morning and need a shower. I don’t have time for cuddles.” Not reacting to your words Loki nibbles at your shoulder.

“My little pet is filled with my seed. I conquered her pussy and soon her ass…”

“I dare you, asshole! I will not let you fuck my ass, idiot.”

“Thor, can you tell your brother not to stare at our team member’s ass?” Clint groans as the man who made you scream last night will not stop stripping your clothes off with his eyes.

“Silence. Midgardian. I keep an eye on my little pet. She was such a good girl last night and in the morning too. Even during our nice meeting, she let me shove my hand into her panties.

“I did not, lying bastard…” Your eyes darken as Loki dares to step closer to give you a smirk. 

“You did, little minx. I must admit, you have a bad influence on me, my pet.” 

His hands slide over your arms before he grips you tightly to let invisible handcuffs restrain your hands.

“I will bend you over this ugly table and give them all a good show.”

“If you ever want to get your dick into me again, you’ll stop lying right now. I did not let your hand slide into my panties at any time.” Lips pursed you glare at Loki.

“Only as you are not wearing panties at all, pet!” Loki’s hands move to your ass to grip it tightly. “I will take you right here for my pleasure.”

“Nah. I don’t think so, bastard. You don’t even remember my name. The fuck was nice, but that’s it…” Without problems, you break out of Loki’s grasps and he must watch you walk out of the room.

“Brother.” Sighs leave Thor’s lips as he places one a huge hand onto his brother’s shoulder. “You should woo for her, not call her pet. Lady Y/N is special to you, show it to her.”

“Shut up. As if you are an expert in keeping your girl. Jane let you go too. Midgardians are unfaithful and annoying. She’s no one special, only a pet. My favorite pet but nothing else.”

“Tell this to yourself brother, but don’t try to trick me,” Thor smirks before he joins the others, leaving the room. “She will not wait forever, Loki. Lady Y/N is a stubborn young woman. Show her you want more than her to be your pet…”

“Pet.”

“Loki.”

“Let me in, woman.”

“Fuck off, loser.”

“I want to come inside and…” Frantically combing through his brain for the right words Loki paces in front of your room. “You are my favorite pet.”

“Try harder,” Thor whispers.

“Don’t call her pet,” Steve adds.

“Can you just shut up for a moment.” Loki clears his throat before he knocks at your door again. “You are my favorite Midgardian. The only one I do not want to kill. Please let me in!”

“Fine, come in Asgardian asshole.” Grabbing Loki’s arm, you drag him into the room. “Now, tell me what you like about me.”

Arms crossed over your chest you impatiently tap your foot. “I am waiting, Loki.”

“You know…” Smirking Loki circles you like prey. “You smell good. Your body pleases me and I like those tiny noises you make while eating.”

“Continue…”

“You are always so annoyingly honest, and you can break out of my illusions. I never met someone being able to do so, not even my brother.”

“What do you want, God of mischief?” Eying Loki warily you fist his shirt. “Loki?”

“I want something nice in my life. Something beautiful.” Pressing his lips against yours Loki smirks. “I want you, and I’ll get you, little pet.”

“Asshole…”

“Y/N…” Loki breathes against your lips.

“Better…”

“Can I see you naked again?” His hands move to your ass.

“Get naked…”

All works Tags

@yolobloggers​​​​​​

@meganywinchester​​​​​​​

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@miraclesoflove​​​​​​

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@shatteredabby​

@soryuwifeyxx​

@letsdisneythings​

@i-love-superhero​

@psychicforest​

@thevelvetseries​

@deanmonandnegansbitch​​​​​

@sabascio​

@goodgodimaweirdperson​

@that-place-called-middle-earth​​​

@the-broken-angel-13​​​

@trumpettay​

@zxph-yr​​

@belovedcherry​​​

———————————————————

Marvel Tags

@stuckys-whore​​

@notyourtypicalrose​

@voltage-my2dlove​

@officialmarvelwhore​

@randomgirlkensy​

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@amandamdiehl​

#Mischief is in my bed #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel one shot #marvel tag #loki (marvel) #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #smut #love hate relationship

[akutagawasbitches]

Ahh yes another one to join this crazy fandom little one!! Haha jk jk, I would like to be the one to request, can I have head-canons for Dazai, Chuuya and Akutagawa as a significant other like how they act with their s/o in a relationship Go crazy with this one if you like, and have fun!

Ahh thank you, I’m so excited to join the fandom! I hope you like these, I kinda went off my personal interpretations rather than being super canon.

 Dazai

-        This man is a FLIRT but all that stops when you enter the picture

-        He fell head over heels for you the minute he met you

-        I view Dazai as someone who is attracted to kindness and strong moral (similar to Oda) so he loved you for your kind smile and sweet personality.

-        Even if you are sassy to him, he loves you all the same. He loves all of your personality quirks: your weird laugh, your obsession with random things, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes, your bad habits of staying up too late etc., he loves them all.

-        I can’t see Dazai being an early morning person but I feel like he’d always make sure to organise lunch dates with his S/O whether its lunch at a café or just a small picnic in the park, he’ll always have lunch with his S/O

-        He’ll definitely cut down on the suicide jokes if they upset his S/O and overall his suicidal tendencies go down and suddenly he’s not admiring that bridge for its height but rather the way you look standing on it with the colours of the sunset illuminating your face.

-        I actually think Dazai isn’t a huge physical affection person at first. I think he’ll slowly build up to being more physically affectionate as he hasn’t really been physically affectionate with anyone before.

-        But once he’s gotten comfortable with it, he’s an cuddle monster. Always wanting to be touching you in some way whether its holding you hand, arm around your waist or leaning on you while walking, Dazai always has to be touching you.

-        100% big spoon but when he has nightmares, he’ll be the little spoon.

-        He’ll bury his face in your chest and hold you silently. Please stroke his hair and comfort him because this boy has seen some shit

-        Don’t ask him to open up though because he’ll shrink further back into his shell. You would have to wait for him to open up, Dazai isn’t someone who opens up willingly when asked.

-        Loves cooking with you, even if its more you cooking and him eating the ingredients. It makes him feel safe and loved, something so simple yet normal.

-        Doesn’t really plan dates out but always takes you out at least once a week on a proper date such as dinner or a movie.  

-        Gives you random gifts such as chocolate or flowers because he thinks you deserve it

-        On your birthday he’ll go nuts and throw you a huge surprise party with the help of the Agency, inviting all your family and friends. He’ll give you his present after as well as a few roses.

-        During arguments, his colder side can come out and he struggles with listening to your emotions properly.

-        Listen he was around Mori for a good chunk of time, he isn’t the best with dealing with emotions in a functional way.

-        But afterwards once he’s cooled down and figured out why you’re upset, he’ll buy you flowers to apologise and hug you murmuring apologies into your hair

-        Speaking of hair, wash his! It’s his favourite way to receive affection outside of cuddling. It makes him feel loved.

-        Will wax lyrically about his love to you in front of you and absolutely anyone. It gets to the point where Kunikida yells at him to shut up because he’s spent 20 minutes waxing about your beauty.

-        Overall, 100/10 boyfriend, he may have some flaws but he’s really trying to better himself for you

Chuuya

-        I view Chuuya as liking someone who is fiery, independent but also kind. He’ll love your fiery side as it means you’re passionate, your independence means he doesn’t have to worry but you r kindness shines a light on his dark world

-        Listen this man would spoil the shit out of his S/O

-        They want a new phone? They’ve got the latest one with all the upgrades and any accessories they need. New clothes? An entire wardrobe of clothes turns up at their doorstep.

-        But don’t think his love is purely materialistic, Chuuya shows his love in more ways than just spending money

-        He’ll massage his S/O’s feet after a long day, listen to them rant about menial things and brush their hair

-        I feel like Chuuya would be slightly hesitant about physical touch in public as he is a Port Mafia executive and needs to keep up his tough persona at all times but at home, he’s all for it

-        Braiding his hair, playing with his hair, cuddling him, lying on his lap while reading, leaning your head on his shoulder while watching a movie, he’s all for it.

-        Since he’s a busy man and has a erratic schedule, dates are hard to plan but at least once a week, he either takes you out to eat or cooks an elaborate meal just for you complete with wine and candles.

-        He’ll also take out on night drives through Yokohama or trips around when he has a free weekend

-        Goes absolutely all out for your birthday, reserving your favourite restaurant months ahead so you’re guaranteed a seat, massive bouquet of flowers alongside your present. He’ll also take you up to the rooftop of a local bar to watch the stars together.

-        Gives you flowers randomly because “nothing compares to your beauty” but flowers are close enough right?

-        When he has nightmares, he’ll cling onto you tightly to the point you almost can’t breathe. Gently stroke his hair and he’ll relax. Like Dazai he’s seen some shit and needs love and comfort sometimes

-        Loves getting gifts! If you make him anything even if its small, he’ll treasure it and feel loved.

-        Will never admit it but kinda wants the domestic life with you but knows its not possible

-        Baths together are his favourite form of self-care.

-        Wash his hair and he’ll melt.

-        When you two are arguing he has a hard time controlling his temper and is prone to outbursts.

-        After he’s cooled off, he’ll buy you your favourite candy as an apology and come back and apologise over and over again until you’ve reassured him for the 20th time its fine.

-        Listen he’s the little spoon when sleeping but big spoon when cuddling.

-        All abut big proclamations of love, he’ll lament about his love for you for hours if you asked (only in private though, in public or around any Port Mafia members all you’ll get is a quick peck on the cheek or a quick “love you”)

-        Overall, he loves you and is 100/100 best boyfriend. He’d die for you.

Akutagawa

-        I view Akutagawa S/O as being independent, kind but stubborn as you need to be with him

-        This man does not understand relationships at first. Being in a relationship with him requires a lot of patience/perseverance and helping him unlearn unhealthy and toxic mindsets given to him by Dazai during his training. This is where your more stubborn side comes into play but also your kindness will soften him up and eventually, he’ll start being more soft with you

-        Uncomfortable with physical affection due to his training and background so you’ll have to teach him that not all physical touch is bad. Slowly introduce him to the concept of loving touch and eventually he’ll reciprocate albeit a bit awkwardly.

-        I headcannon that while he’s uncomfortable with explicit physical affection in public, he’ll opt for more subtle forms such as pinky holding or tapping out love messages in Morse code on your hand while holding it rather than saying it out loud.

-        As you slowly introduce physical affection to him, he’ll be a bit grumpy and snappy but be patient and eventually he’ll enjoy it and reciprocate with small touches like hugs from behind while cooking

-        If you want a very cuddly Aku, cuddle him while he’s sleepy. This boy gives in and just silently basks in it.

-        Not super big of big proclamations of love but will do small things like make you tea or hold the door for you

-        Similar to Chuuya his schedule is erratic and unpredictable so date nights are spontaneous. Walks in the park at night, watching horror films, eating take out together and reading/discussing books.  Date nights are never ‘traditional’ but they are still special

-        Though for big dates like your birthday he’ll make a bit more effort and take you out to dinner or cook.

-        When he has nightmares, he’ll move around a lot and thrash. Hold him in your arms and gently whisper that he’s safe and other loving words and he’ll calm down. If he cries, don’t comment. Just hold him silently as that’s what he needs.

-        During arguments, he can be abrasive and cruel, but he doesn’t mean to be. It’s just how he was raised; he doesn’t know how to communicate emotions well.

-        After the argument, he’ll make you tea and apologise the best he can. While he’s not the best with words, his actions speak volumes with him running a bath and getting in it with you or cuddling you silently.

-        Big spoon while cuddling and while sleeping but if he’s having a nightmare, he’ll become the little spoon

-        Overall, he’s trying his best and loves you very much, 10000000/100000000 pls give this boy love he deserves it

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs headcanons #akutagawa ryuunosuke #akutagawa x reader #chuuya x reader #nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya #bsd aku #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x reader

[angelwithwingsoffire]

Okay, I really want to know how you feel about h50 season 6 finale (post plane crash/liver donation/Danny gets no props) and the series finale (Steve leaves with Catherine, Danny is on the beach alone)

When I saw this question, I was going to go back and rewatch the season 6 finale to remember all my thoughts about it, but I can’t find a place to watch it anymore so I’m going off my memory and Wiki so I’m gonna do my best. (Also if anyone knows where I can watch H50 again I’m too poor to afford the CBS shit)

I think that Danny was never given the credit he deserved for how important he was to Steve. Like from the beginning, Steve literally took the Governor’s deal just so he could fuck with Danny. He has always been the person that brought Steve out of his “SEAL Shell” regardless of if Steve wanted it or not. They both drove each other nuts, especially in the first seasons, but they mattered So Goddamn Much to each other. Danny was an uptight, rule-following cop, and he was willing to throw all of it away when Steve was in trouble. 

And then in Season Six, he risked literally everything to save Steve. Breaking their cover could have resulted in them both dying anyways, but he did it to give Steve a chance. And then he backed down from killing the guy they had been hunting for ages, because Steve was in the hospital and needed him. And like I’m a fucking sucker for people saving the life of the person they love, and he doesn’t even hesitate. Steve, the same person he claimed to want to murder back in season one, needed his help and he Didn’t Even Hesitate. 

And there are so many other moments that show how much the two of them came to mean to each other. The entire series is filled with moments showing the audience that they fucking matter to each other, that they care and love each other, and support each other. And that’s why the season finale didn’t sit right with me.

Steve rescues Danny, and then sits by his bedside the entire time, waiting for Danny to wake up. That’s fucking commitment right there. And then, one week later, Steve just up and leaves. He leaves behind the life he had spent the last ten years making. And yes, I understand needing a break from things, to settle his mind on everything that happened with his Mom and Dad, but I don’t think the writers handled it well. The viewers had watched for ten fucking years, seeing how much Danny came to mean to Steve, from not caring about the guy at all to trusting him implicitly in every aspect of his life, and then Steve just left. He left not only Danny, but everyone he considered family. Family means so much to Steve, we see that throughout the series, and he just turned around and left them all trying to ‘find himself’ when personally I think he already had found himself, right there on the island he was raised on. 

The thing that really got me though, was the fact that the writers spent so much time telling the fans that they would get the ending they wanted, that everyone would be so happy with it. And I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I knew better than to expect a McDanno ending. I knew that wasn’t going to happen. However I was hoping that they would give an open ending that would allow for ALL members of the fandom to be happy. Personally, I hate Catherine. I have since the beginning basically because I think she uses Steve for her own gain. But I know some people love her, and I guess those were the only fans that mattered to the writers because that’s the ending they gave Steve. And I think that’s sloppy writing and a shitty way to treat the fans. 

And because I know someone will want to know, here’s the ending I would have loved. After the conversation between Danny and Steve about wanting to find peace, I wanted the entire team, the entire Ohana, to come over for a visit. There didn’t need to be any dialogue, just all of them seeing each other and being there for each other and loving each other. I didn’t need a McDanno ending, I needed a family ending. The group that means so much to everyone, being there together. They went through So Much during the series, and now they’re finally able to find peace TOGETHER.

#h50 #mcdanno #hawaii five 0 #danny williams #steve mcgarrett #h50 finale #ask angel #Anonymous

[katnissmellarkkk]

AN: Hiiiii, alright I’ve been working on this story since I posted my first chapter and, as it turns out, no surprise, this is gonna be longer than I originally expected. Probably like five-ish chapters? I’m not re-writing every chapter or part of Mockingjay if Peeta wasn’t hijacked, just snippets of the essential plotline and events if Peeta hadn’t been hijacked.... did that make sense? 

Alright, anyways, I wanna also take this time to say I definitely did not expect the amount of love I received on the first part of this and omg I’m so honored and touched. I really wasn't expecting you guys to be so supportive in this fandom. Thank you all so much, for liking, commenting and reblogging. It really made me so happy <3.

Also if you didn’t read part one and you want to, here’s the link. 

I hope everything’s going well for all you reading this! 

Also I need a title for this so any suggestions are more than welcome alright buh-bye.

Shattered Pearl

| Part One |

/

I know I've been shot. I felt it hit me, right underneath my chest. If I didn't vaguely remember standing in the tunnels, appealing to and pleading with the District Two men, trapped inside the Nut, the gunshot of a man standing behind us in the crowd, too cowardly to come closer and confront me to my face, if I didn't retain the image of seeing myself shot on television, I'd swear I'd been hit by one of the Capitol trains that once took me and Peeta district to district.

The thought of the train brought back memories I'd long held close to my heart. I had never spoken of nights shared between me and Peeta on the Victory Tour and prior to the Quarter Quell. Not to anyone. Not even Prim. It felt too personal and too vulnerable a memory to let anyone else claim it. For so long it was all I had to cling to, with him presumed dead and then only seen on Caesar's talkshow, tormented and a shell of the boy with the bread.

I miss him now, as I lay despondently, wherever I am. I feel a jabbing pain right where I predict I was shot, the injury feeling closer to a brutal beating than a penetration.

My mind whirls and flies and wracks itself up and down, backwards and forwards and side to side and somehow I can't remember even a split second where I felt the bullet enter into my body.

I feel my consciousness, my awareness, growing stronger now, slowly crawling in an upwards motion, like I was lying on the bottom of a lake and I'm only now floating to the top.

When my head breaks the surface, there's a bright, ugly, glaring light stinging my eyes and my first thought is one of comparison. Does Peeta experience this too, when he wakes up in his recovery room? Do they actually think that'll help anyone recover here, blasting unsettling yellow colors into their eyes as soon as they crack open? Is it their idea of a luxury, since everything and everyone else is so void of color here in Thirteen, like one of Peeta's drawings that have yet to be painted.

"Disorienting, huh?" I hear a familiar—so familar—voice laugh quietly. "I think Thirteen believes the more the lights hurt your eyes, the less we'll use them and the more energy they'll save in the end."

"Peeta?" I mean to murmur but instead my voice comes out in a whimper.

"Shh," he whispers, his voice all gentleness and sweetness now. The teasing, conversational edge is gone. He runs his fingers through my hair, pushing it back from my sweat covered forehead, hoping the ministration will soothe me.

It takes me longer than it should to place, but it strikes me after a moment that his voice now reminds me of a different foreign place and a different wound and an altogether different time.

The confusion. The comforting, appeasing voice. The soft, tender gesture. It eerily reminds me of waking up in the cave, after having bled out from my head, only to find my body weak and Peeta's shockingly strong and the tables turning and him taking care of me.

My hands act to their own accord and cannot be stilled, no matter how comforting Peeta's fingers feel, sifting through my hair.

I fumble roughly with the bandages covering my left side, where the bullet must have hit, and I force my eyes wide open now, in spite of the still disturbing light overhead.

"What am I still doing here?" I ask before I can really register what I'm saying. At his confused and—now I can see his features better, with my eyes adjusting to the brightness—exhausted face, I clarify. "The bullet didn't kill me?" I look to him for confirmation.

"No," he promises smoothly, understanding my puzzlement now. "No, I promise you, the bullet didn't kill you."

"What happened?" I ask, my voice and body both still far weaker than I'm in any way comfortable with. "I think I blacked out after I was shot."

Peeta forces himself to give me a faint ghost of a smile. "Yeah, I imagine that happens when a bullet hits you in the side." He takes my hand in his and begins to softly kiss it, repeatedly. Finally he replies, "you were shot on live TV and everyone in the country saw you go down. Coin and Plutarch decided immediately to spin this and fake your death. But Cinna made your Mockingjay outfit bulletproof. The bullet never touched you," he assures before adverting his eyes as they grew watery with his words.

"Peeta," I start, my voice raspy as it's ever been.

"I don't think I was that scared in the Capitol," he blurts out as if I didn't speak. "Snow knew, he always knew, that you getting hurt would have been worse torture than anything else he could have ever done to me."

"How do you think I felt when Snow and his guards had you prisoner?" I shoot back before I can stop myself. His torture was harrowing enough without me making it all about myself. He flinches slightly at my words but tries to mask it, for my sake, no doubt. I reach out and squeeze his hand, my body's grip embarrassingly lame and in no way soothing. "I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"No," he automatically refutes. "Don't apologize to me. You have enough people putting their burdens on your shoulders without adding me to that list."

I swallow hard now, my memory starting to piece everything together and I remember suddenly that this is the first time I've seen Peeta since Coin's men had essentially interrogated him into hysteria.

I hadn't told him I was even going to Two. I didn't even tell him how long I'd be gone.

And then I got shot on camera. And—as I should have predicted—the rebels used this opportunity to their advantage.

I can imagine what that felt like for him. I remember on the hovercraft to and for the first few weeks in Thirteen. Refusing to eat. Refusing to speak. Hiding in closets and sleeping only sporadically. Picturing every single time I closed my eyes Peeta being beaten to death, Peeta being abused, Peeta crying out helplessly.

I wait for him to blink back his tears again before final speaking. "Can I apologize for not telling you I was going to Two in the first place?"

Something new crosses his features and in place of the fear, the agony, the pain, comes an almost sarcastic, satirical expression. "Please do, Sweetheart."

I roll my eyes instinctively when he calls me sweetheart. He'd only ever called me that in the past to get on my nerves or irritate me. "You sound like Haymitch," I can't help but point out.

"This isn't sounding like an apology for lying."

"I'm getting there."

"I've been waiting for days."

I raise my eyebrow mockingly. "So that's why you're here by my bedside?"

"Only reason. I'm out as soon as I get my reparation."

"Well in that case," I trail off, shrugging—and inwardly cringing at the movement before bringing his hand to my lips now and planting a kiss there. "I'm not apologizing then."

He laughs and I pretend to be put out, which works until I try to cross my arms in false indignation and involuntarily eject a loud gasp of pain from the way the motion upsets whatever is broken inside of me.

Peeta drops the ruse then too and stand from his chair, sitting on the side of my bed to get closer to me. "Hey, it's okay," he murmurs softly, cupping my cheek and turning my distressed face towards him now. "Breathe," he commands genially, leaning his forehesd against mine. "The pain will go away, Katniss, just breathe."

I let out a large breath but it only makes the pain worse and eventually I just grip the hand cupping my face and squeeze with all my might. The lame grip I felt ashamed of minutes before is now replaced with an adrenaline rush of strength and I nearly break Peeta's hand in my much smaller one.

He doesn't complain and begins to rub my back to calm me down. When the searing, paralyzing discomfort subsides, the first thing I utter is, "so if I never got actually shot, what is going on with my body?"

He strokes my face affectionately. "You have a bruised lung. Bruised ribs. And your spleen was ruptured so they removed that."

"So I'm without a spleen?" I realize, my voice raising involuntarily. For some reason, I'm petrified that a whole organ was taken out of my body and I had no say in it whatsoever.

"You don't need it, Katniss," Peeta quickly reassures.

I deflate then, not sure if I feel any better or not. Peeta's words suddenly come back to me.

"Katniss, these people aren't too different from the ones in the Capitol."

Would I trust Snow or his guards to remove my spleen? No. So should I be okay with Thirteen operating on me?

I shake my head, knowing this is redundant and ridiculous. My spleen was ruptured. They'd saved my life. I was being paranoid for nothing and I couldn't afford falsely accusing the very people I needed to survive. Especially not when they likely are what saved my life.

Peeta sees my face contort and the disheartenment etch itself across my features. Still remaining tender and cautious, he leans his own wounded, beaten face down and places kisses against my cheek.

I try to hold off but his lips bring a smile to mine, and even with all the confusion bubbling around my head, all the disbelief and uncertainty, in regards to my feelings towards him, Gale, Coin, this war and the Revolution itself, I still can't help the feeling of hope spreading across my chest, filling my heart up in a way I never let myself consider it could again.

"Peeta?" I whisper then and he pulls back from planting kisses on my face to look at me.

"Hmm?"

"If my lung is bruised, why did you tell me to breathe deeply to stop the pain?"

He freezes for a second, contemplating and considering before a slightly bashful smile crosses his mouth. "You're the healer here, not me," he finally teases. When I smile back at him, he leans in simply, as if it were the most natural thing in the word, and kisses me full on the mouth.

The kiss catches me off-guard but only after the fact. In the moment it feels right and tingly and reassuring and I'm lightheadedly happy and I don't even know what to make of how I feel on the inside.

"I'm not a healer," I remind with very little passion for the correction in my voice.

He laughs again lightly but then bites his lip and brushed my hair back. "You did say that to me in our first games, right? Real or not real?"

I hesitate for a full ten seconds before I respond, my face scrunching up. His words almost seem like an already formed game that no one had explained the rules of. "Real," I finally answer.

He's already elaborating before I can ask. "Finnick came up with it. He said it works for Annie and I should try it. If I'm ever unsure about anything that happened or what the Capitol tried to make me believe, I should ask." He shrugs then, slightly abashed. "It's repetitive-"

"It's actually a really good idea," I encourage, grabbing his hand in mine again and giving him a reassuring squeeze. And he looks at me then and gives me a grateful smile and his eyes are lighter now than they were when I woke up and I don't know where this is even going between us or if it's even going anywhere and I don't know where Gale stands and I really can't focus on my feelings right now because I'm a symbol of an entire revolution, whether I asked to be or not, and it may be selfish or immature, but I push away all my other conflicting thoughts and pull the boy with the pretty blue eyes down towards me.

He goes willingly, wrapping his body to me, only placing pressure on my right side, and I feel his face burrow in my neck. When his lips press to the sensitive skin there, like he's done dozens of times before, I shiver instinctively and close my eyes against him.

For the first time in forever I feel, for a fleeting moment, safe.

//

Prim and my mom interrupt not too long after that, but for some reason—other than Prim's cheerful smile—they don't comment on the compromising position they found us in.

Peeta promptly moves back to his previous chair and remains there for the duration of the day.

Haymitch joins us not even five minutes after my mom and sister, and he brings boiled cabbage stew from the cafeteria in tow.

"Here you go, Sweetheart," he says with a large smile, looking at the disgusting concoction with excitement now.

I look at the bowl, wishing I had more of an appetite so I could actually feel some desire to eat it. In spite of Haymitch's jokes, the cabbage stew would have been a luxury to me once upon a time, when all I could find to fill my screaming stomach was mint leaves and, if I were lucky, the roots I was named after. "How'd you know I'd be awake?" I inquire, turning the spoon around in the bowl.

"Oh I didn't," my old mentor quickly replies, plopping down in a chair against the wall. "It was for the boy." He gestured towards Peeta, who's running his fingers softly along my spine, inconspicuous enough that not even Prim catches on. "But I figure you deserve it more, since you're the one in the hospital. Speaking of that, why did you two switch places?" He asks, brash and wry.

My mom glares at Haymitch, disapproving of his callous comment, which catches me completely off guard.

My mother usually ignores all chatter between me and Haymitch and Peeta, only chiming in if Haymitch is speaking of something from Twelve that I'd be too young to understand.

I remember then watching Haymitch's tape on the train with Peeta, realizing he and my mom shared a permanent tie labeled Maysilee Donner. I look between them for a hint of familiarity I didn't see before and quickly realize Peeta's doing the exact same thing.

My mom quickly turns back to me, and gingerly but vigoriously, coaxes the stew into my stomach, even when I try to refuse because my ribs ache and using any of my muscles leaves me feeling irritable and shaky and hot inside.

"Just a little bit more, sweet girl," my mom murmurs, forcing me to finish the entire bowl, and it's only when Prim looks at me, the corners of her mouth turning upwards, that I realize my mom had used a long forgotten term of endearment. One that I'd rejected since her bout of deep, delbilitating depression.

I didn't comment on it and I don't think my mother even realized, but I avoid Peeta's eyes because evidently, by the looks of his smirk, even he knew the exchange was rare and hard to come by.

Just as I all but lick the soup bowl clean and my mom's whispering mournfully she has to go back to work and was only allowed to come see me for lunch. I am caught off guard once again though, when she kisses my forehead and whispers, with audible tears, that she loves me so much.

I feel like a monster all of a sudden, for the absolute hell I must have put her through.

I squeeze Prim's hand as tight as I can as she takes our mom's seat and scoots it even closer to my bed. "Hey, little duck," I greet in my most comforting voice. "How're things while I was gone."

Prim, as usual, puts up a-albeit, very weak-pretense in order to make me feel better. "They were okay for the most part." She pauses and bites her lip, contemplating to herself before adding. "It was just hard because we didn't even know you were leaving and then we watched you be shot on live TV."

"I know," I murmur apologetically, because it's all I can do. "I'm so sorry, Prim."

But my sister's shaking her head before I can finish and I swear Peeta and Haymitch roll their eyes at the same moment and if Prim wasn't here, I'd be telling them both off.

"No one's mad at you, Katniss," she promises, like that's my concern. People I love being angry, not people I love going through absolute turmoil. "Just... next time could you let us know?"

I nod automatically, because I want my sister to feel better, even though I'm unsure if I can even fulfill this promise. "Yeah, of course."

Prim just stares at me for a moment. "You're such a bad liar," she finally calls out.

Haymitch noisily laughs from across the room, but Peeta remains completely stoic now, and I want three sets of eyes so I could focus on multiple people at once.

I choose to keep my focus on my little sister. "Prim," I start, my voice still unconvincing. "I just... I never know what's going to happen next, so it's hard to know ahead of time what I'll do. The last thing I want, that I've ever wanted, was to worry you and mom."

"Yeah, but, Katniss," She refutes even and diplomatically. "You not telling us only makes it worse. Finding out from strangers you and Gale disappeared off to District Two on a secret mission with the rebels? Only to watch them fake your death? It was as bad as watching you in the games."

I feel my chest constrict and the breath fly out of my aching lungs as I swallow down the lump formed in my throat. "Prim, I never meant-"

"She knows, Katniss," Peeta chimes in, his hand sifting through my hair once again.

Prim looks at Peeta—with more familiarity than I've ever seen between them before—and then back at me. "He's right. I know you never meant for that to happen but... if you could just let us into the loop a little more, it'd make things a lot more bearable."

I nod, meaning my promise to keep her and our mom more informed now. I squeeze Prim's hand again and ask quietly, "how bad was mom when I was shot?"

Prim's eyes shoot to Peeta almost intractably. But I catch it and I press it before they can pretend it didn't happen.

"What's going on with you two?"

They both look at me in utter shock. Or is that the look of getting caught keeping a secret?

"Nothing," Prim immediately covers. Peeta, on the other hand, doesn't react so quick, and instead chooses to just shut his eyes to avoid looking at me.

There's something more going on that they want to avoid telling me. And instinctively, I don't think it's about my mother. Even without him meeting my glance, I can tell Peeta's embarrassed about something.

"Prim," I say evenly. "You're a worse liar than I am."

"You actually are, kid," Haymitch adds. "Didn't think that was possible."

"What happened when I was shot?" I ask again, my voice closer to a threat than a comfort now.

"Let it go, Katniss. It's not important," Peeta urges, his own voice more worn and irritated than I'd heard it since the last games.

"When has she ever let something go?" Haymitch ponders, unfazed by our whole exchange.

"Katniss," Prim starts but I cut her off. I can tell she was going to placate me, like getting shot turned me into our mother.

"As your older sister, you're not allowed to lie to me."

"C'mon now, Sweetheart. That's not being fair."

"Then you tell me, Haymitch. What happened when I was shot that they don't want me to know?"

Our old mentor sighs deeply but I can tell he's relenting. If I couldn't see the resignation on Haymitch's face, Peeta's whole body tensing up in anticipation would be a dead giveaway.

"The boy had a meltdown when you were shot," Haymitch finally states. He gives Peeta a long, measuring look before continuing. "He basically went ballistic and lost his grip on reality." He moves his eyes to train them on the floor of my hospital room. I know he's trying now to avoid Peeta's furious eyes, full of betrayal.

"What?" I turn and look at the boy beside me, remorse overtaking my entire being. I reach out and touch his face but he won't look at me, even when I try to force him.

"He was frantic for days. Couldn't tell the difference in reality and the lies the Calitol fed him. He was only released probably an hour before you woke up. So I guess you guys have good timing," Haymitch adds, trying too hard to lighten the mood.

"Peeta," I whisper after a beat, pleading with him to just look at me, talk to me, but to no avail.

"Peeta, talk to her," Prim begs on my behalf.

"It wasn't that severe," he finally states, his voice extremely muted now as he speaks in a hushed tone, only to me. "I didn't want to tell you because you don't need anything else on your plate. Especially not about me. And it was barely worth mentioning."

"I think it was worth mentioning," Prim chimes and Haymitch points at her and nods.

"She's got better sense than both of you."

Peeta ignores Haymitch. "Prim," he groans with an air of affinity that still boggled me. "Stop. It was fine."

"You were so upset though. And she should know, since she's the one the Capitol wanted to hurt when they tortured you," she advocates, impressing even me with her reason. "And I think we should all stop lying," my pure-of-heart little sister tacts onto the end.

Haymitch nods affirmatively towards Prim again, and I see something akin to wonder now in his eyes as he looks at her, and it takes no more than common sense to realize he's imagining life with Prim as his victor and how much easier that would have been.

"I just don't think now is the time to be talking about this, Prim," Peeta tersely states.

I can't help but interject now, after having witnessed their exchange this whole time, "I'm sorry, but do you two know each other?"

A look is exchanged between all three of them and I'm so tempted to ask if they'd like me to leave so they can freely converse in private. Finally Prim informs quietly, "me and mom were there with Peeta when he got upset. He actually helped mom because she had somewhere to focus all her own emotions. You know how she is, Katniss. When things get rough, she puts all of herself into her healing."

"Glad of be of service," Peeta mumbles despondently and I can see in his troubled eyes, he's blatantly ashamed of himself.

"Peeta," I murmur softly, taking his hand against his will—he tries to fight me from even picking it up—and bringing it to my lips.

He sighs deeply and offers me a half smile. "My being a lunatic doesn't disturb you?"

"Of course not," I quickly dispute. My mind is still processing all of this though. "So you and my family... bonded after I was shot?"

Peeta outwardly groans, dropping my hand. "Let it go, Katniss."

"I just never considered it a huge connecting technique. You know, I could have gotten shot a long time ago-"

"That's not even funny," Peeta chides and there's nothing humorous in his voice now.

I shut up instantly, feeling the mood of the room drop. Even Haymitch falls silent and adverts his eyes to the floor.

"I'm sorry," I finally whisper and I don't know who I'm apologizing to, Peeta or Prim. I'm know I'm not saying sorry to Haymitch, who is still lolled in his chair across the room. Although maybe I should, since he was undoubtedly as scared as the rest of my family. Not that he'd ever admit that to me.

Peeta shakes his head and his expression softens. Leaning in closer, he gently brushes his lips to my cheek, very lightly and very chaste, considering Prim's proximity.

"Just don't lie to us again," Prim pleads, taking my other hand firmly. "No matter how much you want to protect us."

I nod obligingly, maybe more to relieve my guilt than anything else but I do actually mean my promise. "Okay," I swear.

Peeta pushes back my hair soothingly before running the back of his hand over my cheek. "Okay," he finally repeats, only loud enough for me to hear.

And I know then that he's forgiven me.

///

Within an hour, my mom, Gale, Boggs, Plutarch and my doctor all join the party inside my hospital room.

"Isn't there a limited amount of people allowed in one room?" Haymitch retorts gruffly, unhappy about being squished into the corner and unable to spread out the way he was before.

"Oh there usually is," Plutarch confirms, his tone more joyful than I find appropriate, given my situation. And the state of the rebels now. "But I asked Coin to make an exception for Katniss."

"Can Coin make an exception and give Katniss a bigger room?" Gale mumbles under his breath.

I laugh at his sarcasm and his disgruntled expression. We'd made amends on the way to District Two, not wanting to be in potentially dangerous territories and still on the outs with each other. I expected the issues that made us clash—and whatever feelings that still lied between us—would all come to a head once we returned to Thirteen, but we unexpectedly took longer than anticipated in Two and now I was wounded. And even Gale can't deny he was scared out of his mind when I went down. Even he isn't in the mindset to wrangle with me.

I squeeze Peeta's hand in my own and pretend I don't see Gale's envious eyes staring at our interconnected limbs. I don't feel the same guilt I usually do when it was apparent Gale was upset by me and Peeta, and I wonder, idly, in the back of my mind, if this isn't because of the morphling I'm pumped full of.

My doctor is one of the same people who checked Peeta out after he was rescued and I realize I don't even know his name. It doesn't seem like I'll learn it now either, as he barely speaks. I'm half inclined—though I know it's impossible—to think my own mother is the one who operated on me, from the lack of insight the man provides.

In any case, the doctor doesn't seem concerned in the slightest about me and slips out of the room as soon as Plutarch shifts the conversation in a new direction.

"So, I was wondering," he starts, his face still much too happy to completely sit right with me. "Maybe if you'd be up—once you're out of bed and recovered, of course—to film a propo?"

I just stare at him blankly, wondering how on Earth he expected me to have any desire to film anything right now, while I'm still currently getting pain relievers pumped into my veins.

He misreads my expression and quickly adds, "Of course Peeta would be in it! The Star-Cross Lovers need to be shown reunited. I feel that could help with the cause immensely—"

He keeps talking but I automatically tune out his chirping voice as he prattles on. I can see his vision now. The Mockingjay Lives splayed across the screen, me and Peeta wrapped in an embrace, my voice loud and strong, announcing that we're going to keep fighting to the end.

I'm not the only one looking at Platurch like he's grown a second head. The only person who's not looking at the man with distain or disbelief is Haymitch, who's expression is either mildly entertained or filled with such incredulity that he looks like he's grinning.

Peeta's reaction is much stronger than I expect and it's only after he looks like he's grown nauseous from disgust or is planning on throwing something at Plutarch's joyous face, that I realize Peeta has no real experience with the Gamemaker.

He was in the Capitol the entire time I've really gotten to know Plutarch and the man's antics must seem completely foreign to Peeta.

I squeeze his hand before he can say anything and shake my head in Plutarch's general direction. He isn't harmful and I don't want Peeta to waste the energy he needs to recover.

But he has trouble swallowing down his obvious repulsion and his hands begin to shake and his eyes are far angrier than I would have expected in these circumstances a few months ago.

It's my mom who is murmuring about Peeta needing to check in with his doctors and how she'll walk him down there and she waits expectantly for him to get up and part of me faintly envies him for some reason. And I realize quickly that it's the way she talks to him—it's the way she speaks to all patients of her's, really. It's a firm tone, that's still kind but is very direct. Maybe a little authoritative and unyielding. And I realize at once it's a tone I almost never heard again after my dad's death and I took over caring for the family.

And I miss it. Despite everything. Despite my lack of trust in her and my fear she'll retreat back into her shell one day and leave me and Prim behind all over again. Despite my instincts to never put my faith in my mother again, a big part of me still misses the days when she parented me.

Peeta sighs, seeing through the ruse, and kisses my nose before heading out the door behind my mother.

Plutarch follows too, blatantly unaware of what he set into motion, and saying he was needs to review the film of the other Victors for their propos. I'm still appalled he wanted to parade me out while I'm lying in a hospital bed, but I do feel a bit more at ease knowing it's not just me and Peeta he wants to exploit for the sake of the rebellion.

I wished to myself I could actually go to where the fight was. That I could actually have a shot of getting close enough to really be involved in taking down Snow and his supporters, rather than being filmed as a icon to motivate other people to fight in this war.

I kept this to myself, as my even being in this bed was proof of what happened when I was a more central part of the fighting. And even then, I somehow managed to get shot while they were essentially using me as a talking piece for the other soldiers.

But there was something else on my mind and I turned to focus onto Gale now. Only he, Prim and Haymitch remained in my room and Prim was telling my old mentor about the medical uses of alcohol. I don't know what she planned on accomplishing with that, but it worked as a diversion for me at the moment.

"Okay, so what happened?" I press Gale in a hushed voice when I know Prim isn't listening. He gives me a quizzical look and I quickly clarify. "With Peeta and my mom and Prim?"

Comprehension fills his eyes and he sighs before continuing. "I wasn't there for the beginning. Obviously. I was with you in District Two. But I know that he was watching TV when you were shot, and he completely lost it. Apparently it triggered some kind of flashback to something they used to do to him in the Capitol. He was still yelling when we arrived back. I heard it when I passed his room while you were in surgery. Whatever Snow did to him-"

He's promptly cut off by a new but familiar voice joining the room now. "Ah, yes," Johanna Mason shoves back the curtain separating my cubicle from the one next door. Her's, I guess. "Fond memories you mention, Handsome." She winks at Gale. "One of Snow's favorite methods of torture. The old 'make Peeta watch a thousand fabricated video simulations of Katniss being brutally murdered, on repeat. Don't let him sleep. Beat him. Water him down and beat him some more. Make him watch the Katniss Dying Simmulations again', until he can't even tell you what's real and what's not."

I just stare at her, my heart sinking in my chest rapidly. "What?" Is all I can manage to say, my mouth drying up fast.

"I mean, there were worse forms of torture Snow and his men liked to use on me and your fiancé, but I was told you needed to be kept in the dark about those," she state cheekily, obviously trying to goad me.

"Who told you to keep me in the dark?" I snap, my eyes shooting between Prim, who's now looking right at me, and Gale.

Johanna, much to my surprise, points to Haymitch. The older man is still laid out in a chair in the corner of the room, having made himself comfortable again, but at least now has the decency to look sheepish.

"Listen, Sweetheart," he immediately defends. "You and the boy have your own separate issues, alright? You both don't need to take on the other's all the dang time."

"Haymitch-" I start to growl but am caught off guard by a completely unexpected noise. Johanna's hysterical, dark, morbid laughter.

"I can't believe you were rescued and I was tortured, and I'm expected to protect you from the truth."

I don't blame her. No one could honestly. She was tortured because of me and the rebels. She could say and do whatever she wanted at this point, and no one had the right to tell her differently.

"Johanna," I start but let her cut me off once again, becoming accustomed to the feeling.

"And don't worry about Peeta," she says but the resentful shake of her head doesn't fill me with hope. "Your mom made him her project once they informed her your suit was bulletproof. Her and your sister basically walked him off the ledge."

And because I know she's the only person who will be completely uncensored—something I can't even say about Haymitch these days—I blurt out my next question. "What was Peeta saying? When he lost it?"

Her response is immediate and I get the impression she enjoys telling me, for some sick reason.

"Give me back to the Capitol. They'll find a way to revive her if you give me back. I want to go back. I'll trade my life for her's. Please, let me go back."

As soon as the words sunk into my brain, I wanted to puke.

So I did.

////

Johanna wasn't happy about my vomiting a literal foot away from her and she was downright livid when no one else appeared to be irritated with me but she reached a breaking point when both Peeta—who returned upon hearing my loud gagging—and Gale comforted me.

It was an odd sensation to be in not just conversation with both Peeta and Gale but to have them both be so sweet to me, at the same exact time. Without even so much as looking crossly towards the other one.

Gale held my hand and told me to calm down in a gentle voice he only ordinarily used for one of our sisters or his mom. Peeta was sitting opposite him, on the edge of my bed and telling me softly to just relax as he stroked my hair tenderly. Even Haymitch had gotten out of his seat to call an attendant to clean up my vomit and Prim and my mom were standing at the end of my bed, looking worriedly onto the scene.

Johanna's voice was biting as she took us all in. "How much hand holding does she need? Considering she was apparently strong enough to be the face of our entire cause."

"I shouldn't be," I instantly agree with her. "You should be. No one has to push you or tell you what to say."

"No one likes me, brainless," she says snidely, a leering smile spreading across her face.

"That's because everyone's afraid of you," Prim chimes in timidly, and I drop Gale's hand to reach for my little sister's, almost on instinct upon hearing her scared voice.

But Johanna has the decency to not swipe at Prim and instead gives her a sympathetic look. As if to say you don't have to be scared of me.

Her compassion evidently only extends to the thirteen-year-old, as when Finnick and Annie join the room right on the heels of Prim's words, Johanna barks out a cruel laugh. "Really? More people? Are we having a party to celebrate Katniss?" She gives everyone a mocking look around the room. "Well, I wish someone would have told me. I forgot to bring my streamers."

For some reason her tone suddenly forces back a memory of the last night in the arena. Her cutting my arm open and my red, hot, sticky blood gushing everywhere. My understanding at the time being that this was an attempt to kill me. I know now that this was the rebels' plan and she was really cutting out my tracker but the sense memory can't be so easily rationalized away.

I flinch outwardly and both Gale and Prim's faces silently ask if I'm alright. But I'm quickly distracted elsewhere.

I'm, once again, wholly surprised by Peeta's reaction.

"Don't you have anything else to do, Johanna, besides bug Katniss?" There's a strong irritability in his voice, one I'd only heard from an outsider prospective in the past. On the off occasion I'd witnessed he and his brothers in any sort of conversation. Their relationship was tense at times but they were still siblings and extremely close in age. That made for a lot of squabbling and a lot of fighting and a lot of sparring with each other. And a lot of aggravating each other, causing Peeta to behave in a way I'd never seen him otherwise.

"I don't know?" She shoots back, not even missing a beat. "Didn't I have better things to do than cuddle you after Snow's guards were done for the day? And yet, who's shoulder did you cry on? Who held your hand through our adjoining cells?" She smirks and it's obvious she's speaking for the rest of us to hear.

Annie makes an animalistic squeak and covers her ears. Finnick quickly wraps an arm around her and shoots a glare at Johanna.

"What?" She snaps. "Annie was there in the Capitol, Finnick. She know what went down."

"Doesn't mean you have to remind her of it," I state, my voice grave as I watch the mad girl Finnick loves more than life itself retreat into her own psyche.

And for some odd reason, I relate. To both Finnick, who's doing everything he can now to bring her back from the dark depths of her own mind, and Annie herself, who is buried beneath the ruins of a trauma she'll never be able to escape and is visibly struggling to dig her way back out.

I look to Peeta then, almost imperceptibly, and he just gives me a knowing, almost satirical glance. He was undoubtably thinking the same thing.

Johanna is ready to spit in my face, and she probably would, no doubt, if it were just the two of us. "You have no idea what went down after we were captured," she seethes, growing closer to me, and Peeta places an arm in front of her, blocking me from her reach, but I note the gesture isn't rough or hostile.

Gale and my mom both look like they're going to intervene. Finnick is busy with Annie now. Prim looks shell shocked and Haymitch seems to have lost interest in watching us.

For some reason, maybe it's the morphling, maybe I just feel safe surrounded by so many people who would stop her if she lunged for my throat, but I decide to reply. "Is that why you hate me so much?"

Her violent demeanor dissipates but she still has a spiteful glint in her gaze. "That's part of it. And partially because everyone is so obsessed with you. I've never seen anything about you that's so good or special."

"I agree with you about that," I say quietly, knowing it'll do nothing to mend fences with her.

Haymitch, who out of everyone I thought would agree as well, is the one who speaks up. "There's plenty good in that girl," he retorts sharply, his grey eyes hard as he stares at Johanna.

That caught me—and Peeta, by the look on his face—more off guard than anything Johanna had said thus far.

But it's Johanna's words, which aren't even directed at me, that send a chill to my spine. "Careful, Haymitch. Remember, I'm the one who's always there for the victor you constantly forget about. Or was that you who held his hand while the doctors and Mrs. Everdeen had him strapped down for two days?"

Gale is the one who responds, much to my surprise. "Okay, stop. I know you've been through—"

"Handsome," she cuts off, her voice clipped and snarky but she still bats her lashes in his direction. "You don't know anything."

"Johanna, please," Peeta murmurs now, his tone softer and a lot more understanding. "Please go back to your cubicle. I'll tell the doctors you're complaining of massive pain and need more morphling."

She stares at Peeta, her eyes softening the same way they did for Prim only minutes before. Finally she says, "it's the least you can do. Considering you wouldn't share your fiancé's with me."

And, as soon as she appeared, she had evaporated behind the curtain.

And I feel like somehow, I'm the only person who is left reeling in her absence.

/////

My mom was called back to work once again—and this time, she was made to stay there, my condition apparently too stabilized for them to be letting one of their better healers cut back on her hours—and she took Prim with her. I don't know if it was because Prim would be of use or if she just thought I needed alone time without worrying about my sister overhearing too much.

It occurs to me how much my mom is trying now to wordlessly look out for my needs. I decide to make a point in finding a way to say thank you to her. Even if our relationship will never be what it could have been, had there never been corruption or games or mine explosions. Had there been proper help to those suffering and in need.

Finnick chats with me and Peeta for a moment—and entirely ignores Gale but I suspect that's less about being intentionally rude and more about never knowing what to do with my best friend slash fake cousin—before escorting Annie away. She still looks shaken up and I wonder what happened to her in the Capitol. Or if she was already this unstable. I scarcely remember anything about her or her games, prior to what Peeta reminded me of in the Quell.

"You look tired," Peeta notes, brushing my hair back from my forehead. I smile lightly, about to kiss the palm of his hand before noticing Gale's eyes. They are quite apparently envious of Peeta's affection towards me and my acceptance of it, of how naturally Peeta can touch me, of the innate intimacy between the two of us that I never shared with him. But he tries his best to mask it and for that, I feel even worse.

I look to Haymitch without realizing it and somehow the older man understands without me even consciously thinking of asking.

"Boy," Haymitch grunts, putting on a good show as he stands up. "Let's go get some real food from the cafeteria. I hear if we say we'll participate in Plutarch's Propos, we can get better grub than the rest of Thirteen."

Peeta nods, his eyes gently running over my face, as if memorizing it in his mind. "Will you be okay-"

"Okay, Johanna was right," Haymitch barks now, grabbing Peeta by the back of the shirt, his grip much too docile to pass as normal though. "She'll be fine. Let's all stop hovering. She'll be up and tormenting us in a day."

I roll my eyes at his antics but smile meagerly at him as he guides Peeta out the door.

"Well," Gale breathes out as they leave. "That was subtle."

I laugh loud enough that I hear Johanna hiss from the cubicle next door. "I wanted to talk to you privately."

Gale chuckles. "Gathered that."

I know I have a limited time before Peeta returns and honestly I'm not too mad about that fact either, as I somehow, chessily, long for him now whenever he's gone. I inwardly cringe at myself before shaking it off to hurry this conversation along. "I wanted to apologize for me and Peeta. For how we can act. For..." I trail off, realizing too late I didn't pre-plan my words.

Peeta was right when he'd spat at Haymitch on the Victory Tour, "we all know I'm better on camera than Katniss. No one has to coach me on what to say."

I wished for his ease and talent with words now as I fumble around, trying to convey my message to the person who's been my best friend for years now.

He understands though—thankfully—and needs no more explanation. His tone has become solemn when he speaks. "You're really not faking it anymore, are you? Being in love with him?" His eyes are full of pain and he quickly downcasts them. "You fell in love with him in the Quarter Quell," he says as a fact, not a question.

"I don't know, Gale!" I exclaim, quick to defend myself here, like I'm being accused of something horrific. In truth, I feel like I am. I feel like I am, when I see how much it hurts him when me and Peeta are together. "I don't know how I feel. I just know I feel a lot for both of you."

"That's not good enough, Catnip," Gale whispers, shaking his head. But he uses my old nickname and that gives me hope. Hope that he won't hate me for not being able to give him what he wishes. Hope that I won't lose him entirely by the end of this war. "You really do need him."

I open my mouth to say something, anything, to try and rectify this. But I can't because it's true. Those are my words he's repeating back to me and they completely true. I do need Peeta. Maybe in a way I'll never need Gale. I don't know. I can't know. Not with all that rests on my shoulders already.

"What if I made you choose?" Gale presses now, leaning in closer. "What if I begged and pled and promised I'd find a way to make you happy? Would you pick me then?"

My mouth still hangs open, unsure what to say that get me out of this. I look towards the door, wishing Haymitch would reappear, that Peeta would burst through with his loud footfalls, that Johanna would pop back in and rub some salt in everyone's wounds.

All that would be preferable to this right now and I wonder why I ever wanted Haymitch to take Peeta away.

Gale shakes his head now though, having recieved his answer. "I thought so."

"Gale-" I start, not knowing where I was planning on taking the exchange but before I can even make a redundant attempt to mend whatever broke between me and him a long time ago, he's leaning in and his lips are pressing to mine and after half a second of shock, I'm giving in.

After everything I'd denied him, after all that he'd done for me and for my family, after how much he'd been there for me while Peeta was in the Capitol, I let myself give in and kiss him back.

His lips are different from Peeta's and I can't figure out how I feel about them. He's always been more grown, appearance wise, than Peeta and me, who both still could pass for years younger in the right clothing. But even his kissing is reeks of more experience, more practice, and somehow I find myself learning as his mouth shift under mine, as both his lips suck on my bottom lip expertly.

But it's lacking something and it's only then I realize, what I'm searching for inside Gale's mouth, is the spark that only Peeta's ever ignited in me. I keep waiting in vain for the warmth that started in my stomach and then rose up and exploded in my chest, for the craving that no matter what I couldn't manage to satisfy, for the thrilling, almost hysterical, tingly feeling, to overcome me and leave me lightheaded in a completely foreign way. A way that couldn't be attributed to lack of oxygen.

But it never does. I pull back and wipe my mouth carelessly on my arm and sigh, already sensing Gale's demeanor taking a nose dive at my lackluster reaction.

I'm not disappointed when I look to see his expression. His eyes are frustrated, his mouth is downturned, his eyebrows are pinched together. And I feel as bad as I knew I would. Because no matter what, I'm hurting someone I deeply care for.

But how I feel upon seeing Gale's face isn't even comparable to the amount of remorse that fills me, that overtakes my entire being, when I see Peeta standing in the doorway, having watched our entire exchange.

#everlark #thg #everlark fanfic #everlark fanfiction #the hunger games #Katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #au #mockingjay #mockingjay au #canon divergence #shatteredpearl #my writing #100

[procrastinatorproject]

4 and 11 :D

Thank you for the asks! 😁 (From this WIP Ask Game)

Let's see...

4: Describe the setting of your WIP.

(CW: Captain Rios's drinking problem)

MY most recent WIP is spinning off of the drabble-fic I started posting yesterday. The drabble fic is one possible version of how Rios became the captain of La Sirena, and the fic I'm currently writing (while procrastinating on the drabbles) is set in that continuity.

In a nut shell: When he first acquires La Sirena, Rios decides to get a full basic set of Emergency Holograms. One night, he gets supremely drunk, and in a fit of self-loathing and "I do not want to see anybody else's face ever again", decides to install and use the self-scan option for his EHs.

Now, the self-scan option should generally not be used if you have certain medical conditions, such as severe PTSD, but Rios is too drunk to read (or care about) the warnings. Also, when you activate your Emergency Holograms for the very first time after installation, you're supposed to run them through a few baselines of sound, speech, visuals, diagnostics, etc. to let their systems calibrate correctly. Unfortunately, the first thing Rios does once the holos appear in front of him is stare at them balefully and then pass out.

So the five of them have to deal with a potentially life-threatening medical emergency (alcohol poisoning is no joke!) while their programmes aren't fully functional yet and their systems are trying to compensate for memories and psychological issues they were never supposed to inherit.

(It is a very internalized, techno-babble heavy character study and I have no idea if and when it will get done, but I just LOVE the concept so much :D )

11: Which character do you have the most in common with?

Oof, this is a tough one. Of the six in that story? I honestly couldn't tell you. I don't think I have very much in common with any of them 🧐 Or rather, nothing but some single traits here and there. Like... "gestures that might seem ridiculously cutesy but aren't an affectation" (Enoch), or "tries to deal with mental illness through naps" (Emmet) or "So. Very. Done. With their boss" (Emil)

But more than that? I honestly couldn't say 😅

If we're expanding to talk about ST: Picard generally, the answer is Agnes. Unequivocally, definitely Agnes. And I do even have a WIP about her, but since most of my stories are pre-canon, there is a shameful dearth of Agnes across them...

One fun thing though, if you'll permit me a tangent, since technically, the follow-up to Passengers, my very first story, the one with a gajillion OCs, is still in the WIP pile...

Before I wrote that story, I hadn't been in fandom or reading fic for a decade. The last time I was, about the worst thing you could possibly be accused of is your character being a Mary Sure, which at that point (in the corners I frequented) was used synonymous with "self-insert".

So when I started writing a story that was going to have two original characters, I got really worried, because what if I wrote self-insert characters and they were horrible? What if I wrote one of them too much like me and everyone would (somehow? telepathically?) know?!?! 😱

So I did the only sensible thing: I took a bunch of my character traits and started handing them out gregariously to a whole bunch of OCs. Which means I ended up with a menagerie of individuals that actually have relatively varied personalities, all with some very deliberate overlap with myself.

So, if your asking, out of all my WIPs, who do I have the most in common with? The answer would probably still be Agnes Jurati, but if you took my Passengers OCs in aggregate, they would definitely win 😄

Again, thanks a lot for asking! And the link to the asks is here :D

#star trek picard #(because of course all my WIPs are Star Trek Picard) #star trek picard fanfiction #writing #fanfiction #wips #ask game #ask meme #lili's writing adventures #@enigma-the-mysterious

[ceruleanmusings]

is there anything about one of your ocs you want to talk about and haven’t had the chance? i wanna listen, even if it’s not a fandom i’m in 💞

Thanks for asking, there is one thing I’ve wanted to mention but there is no organic way for me to bring it up in her fic just yet. (The pun is and is not intended with what I’m about to divulge.)

Mel has her mother, Arabella, listed in her phone as Mother Nature. Part of it is because she runs a flower shop and part of it is because Arabella is an herbalist. Meaning, as Mel grew up, her mother tended to treat her aches, pains, scrapes, cuts, bruises, and boo boos with plants, plant extracts or herbs. Upset stomach? Ginger tea. Growing pains? Chew on ginger root or drink a ginger smoothie. A bad cut? Treat it with aloe extracted from an aloe plant. Can’t sleep? Eat cherries before bed for the extra melatonin. Aside from visiting the doctor for vaccinations, eye checks, ear checks, growth checks, etc, every ailment Mel had was treated at home.

Because of this Mel is very hesitant to take medicine simply because she never has and she doesn’t know how it would effect her (dormant supernatural abilities aside). Because of her lifestyle she eats pretty healthy and tends to go with organic options for food. That’s not to say she doesn’t eat junk food, because she does and she doesn’t hide it form her disapproving mother. But she’ll go for an apple over a poptart if she’s running late for school, she’ll snack on grapes or mixed nuts instead of chips, or shell trade in a soda for a smoothie. She cheats when she’s really craving salt or fat or something sinfully sweet and tends not to feel guilty about it. No sense in denying herself pleasures and she’ll burn it off soon enough anyway.

This has given her the slim and muscular frame she’s fine with for the most part but then grows to worry about when dating suddenly became on her radar. She is slow to the dating scene, not having any particular interest in it when classmates starting getting interested in the opposite sex and pairing up in sixth grade. Yes, she found both girls and guys attractive, she always had, but the idea of actively dating wasn’t a thing to her. She was only focused on staying in shape and being healthy for the sports she participated in year-round (cross country in the fall, swimming in the winter and summer, and lacrosse in the winter/spring).

It takes until she and Erica, finally acknowledging they were more than friends, officially date for her to doubt if her muscular body—with a small chest, little curves, cut arms and legs, and abs that would make Britney Spears jealous—was something anyone would want. What kind of girl would want to be with someone who wasn’t soft? What kind of guy would want to be with someone who was stronger and more muscular than them? Erica and Isaac would, apparently.

Her self-confidence, to others, comes with ease. It’s always there, she doesn’t let people’s comments or put downs get to her; they roll off her like water on oil because, well, she’s Mel. She lives her life as nothing can touch her. But that’s only because she’s the only one who can hurt herself in a way her peers can’t compare. Why would what they say bother her when she already beats herself up for not being poised like Lydia or endearing like Allison or smart like Sydney or dynamic like Harley or docile like Tracy or modest like Kira or a powerhouse like Malia?

She takes the phrase “my own worst enemy” to a whole new level. Not that anyone would know, she perfected the art of waving off concerns with a smile. If only someone would call her out on it.

#avengiers #answered #melanie crowe #my complicated bby!

[janetfraiserdeservedbetter]

Pins And Needles (Chapter Two)

(Read Chapter One here)

Rating: G

Word Count: 2294

Fandom: Stargate SG1

Pairing: Sam Carter x Janet Fraiser

Summary:  Janet is a single mother and owner of a tattoo studio. Sam is a florist who has just moved into town. Janet's infatuated. Sam's a disaster gay. Flower shop/Tattoo parlour AU.

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Chapter Two

 Business was slow that day with only a few booked clients and a handful of walkins so Janet took the opportunity to get some administrative work done, which was good because she couldn’t stop thinking of the new florist. She put it down to Sam being so goddamn gorgeous.      She leaned back in her chair and rubbed her eyes, deciding that she needed a break. The computer screen told her that it was almost 3 o’clock and she’d run out of coffee an hour ago. Vala was just finishing up with a client, a new marine in his twenties who’d gotten his first tattoo, a small eagle on his forearm. They’d had to take a few breaks, making what should have been a 30-minute job into an hour. Janet got to her feet, dumping her empty cup in the bin as she approached the counter where he was paying.      “How did it all go?” She smiled politely resting a hand on Vala’s arm who returned the smile, looking a little exasperated. As soon he had finished paying and the door closed after him, Vala rolled her eyes and dropped back onto her stool as she tidied up the area.      “That man is supposed to protect our country and he can’t even handle a tattoo. God’s help us all.”      Janet hummed absently as she fished for her bag out of the staff cupboard, glancing back across the street for the thousandth time. The sun had disappeared behind thick, dark clouds and the rain had just started, drizzling lazily against the sidewalk. Usually, Cassie would meet them at the studio and spend the afternoon doing her homework in Daniel’s shop until close but in weather like this, it wasn’t unusual for Janet to pick her up if she wasn’t with a client. The other woman followed her gaze and smirked, tossing a wad of paper towel at her.      “Go ask her out or are you a coward as well as a flaming homosexual?”      If it was anyone else speaking to her like that, Janet may have knocked them out. Instead, she rolled her eyes and ignored the woman’s taunts. “I’m going to get Cass, call me if you need anything.”

     “...So then I told Eliza where to shove it -”      “Cassandra Fraiser!”      “-Then Mr. Waters gave me detention for a week! A week, mom! That’s, like, totally unfair!”      The school traffic was backed up for blocks and what was supposed to be a 10-minute drive had turned into half an hour and Janet couldn’t wait to get home and sleep.      “Cassie, I thought we promised that you were going to try to behave this year.” The teenager rolled her eyes, arms folded across her chest and Janet sighed, squeezing the steering wheel. “What were you arguing about anyway?”      This time, Cassie didn’t answer, the silence heavier than it ought to be. They inched forward in the traffic.      “Cass.”      “She called you a dyke.” A car honked for them to move forward again - the congestion was clearing now - and Janet let out a long, sharp breath.      “I’m sorry, Cass.”      “It’s not right, mom! How was I the one to get in trouble when they called you… that?”      “I appreciate you standing up for me, Cassie, but sometimes you need to pick your battles. Outside of school, snot the kid but when you’re in class, you… you can’t risk your education.”      “So, I let them win?” The conversation was going in circles and before she could think of an appropriate answer, they were parking in front of the studio. Janet turned in her seat, lips pursed.      “No. But you don't sacrifice your education for a low life like that.” The teenager huffed and Janet reached over, squeezing her hand. “I’m proud of you...Wanna grab a hot chocolate?” They shared a smile and Cassie nodded; the rain had eased off now but the pavement was slick and Janet made sure to watch her step as she climbed out.      “Sam?” She was surprised to see a tall, blonde woman talking to Vala and the two women turned to them as they entered. “Getting a tattoo?” Pink flared across Sam’s fair cheeks and she shoved her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket, shrugging. “I, uh… I finished unpacking most of my boxes and I thought maybe you could show me around?” The warm blue eyes moved then from her to the teenager.      “Oh, I’m sorry, I promised Cassie--”      “Don’t be silly, mom,” the girl interrupted, grinning as she looked between them, “Vala promised to help me with my homework.” Her partner in crime laughed, giving Janet the thumbs up. Sam looked a little confused but good-naturedly went along with it. Janet gave her an apologetic smile, ignoring the two trouble makers. “Then I’d love to show you around.”      “Great.”      She shot her daughter and staff a look and followed Sam onto the sidewalk, glad for the warmer clothes she’d chosen that morning. The afternoon was looking grey and damp, with the promise of more rain to come but for now, it left the air with memories of winter just passed.      “So, you have a daughter?” The question didn’t sound judgy but like she was genuinely interested. They made their way down the main street that was fairly empty for this time of day, taking their time on their stroll.      “Yeah, she just turned 14… It’s been a hell of a ride.”      “Is her dad a tattoo artist too?”      Janet hesitated. “No, he’s not in our lives anymore.”      “Oh, god I’m sorry..”      “No, no, don’t be, he’s not dead, though sometimes I wish he was.” She could see the confusion written all over Sam’s face and she smiled back reassuringly. “No, we just don’t have anything to do with him, not since we moved out here a few years back.”      “Sounds like it was for the best…”      “Best thing I’ve ever done...What about you? You married?”      Sam laughed gently, blue eyes warm and Janet felt her belly do a little flip. “No. Nearly happened a few times but apparently, I attract psychos. Jonas, well, he ended up getting into some weird cult and Pete wanted different things than I did.”      “Men, huh.”      “Yeah. I guess that’s part of the reason I came out here. Fresh start and all that.”      A faint rumble echoed across the sky and as a pair, the women looked up as the first few drops of rain dropped onto their cheeks. With very little notice, the skies opened again and unleashed the mother of all rain, fat heavy drops pounding the pavement. Sam shrieked and Janet laughed, a little bit giddy as she pulled Sam into the hardware store. The door slammed behind them and the blonde woman shook the water out of her hair, grinning like a mad man.      “Wet enough for you, ladies?”      Lightning illuminated the street again as the women turned to the voice. Standing by an ancient cash register, positioning a metal bucket under the steady drip from the roof was a handsome man in his mid 40’s; his skin was like honey and despite the weather, his silvering hair was hidden beneath a khaki cap. Janet barely remembered to let go of the other woman’s hand and greeted the man with a grin. “Hey there, Jack,” She tried to fix her windswept hair, suddenly a little self-conscious. Jack kept himself in better shape than most other men of his age and he was well aware of women’s desire for him. Janet had seen her fair share of the man over the past few years but recently and most importantly, mutually, they’d decided that neither of them was willing to advance the ‘relationship’ further than what it was; too many drinks and late-night booty calls. They were both damaged in their own ways and neither seemed very good at working on themselves. Still, they were good friends and Cassie adored her ‘Uncle Jack’. That didn’t mean that Janet wouldn’t blush when he smiled at her like that.      “This is Sam, the new florist.” He wiped a hand on his jeans and offered it to the blonde with a disarming smile.      “Sam Carter.”      “Jack. O’Neill. Nice to meet ya. That your ‘Ninja’ across the road?”      “Sure is! You got one?”      “Been trying to rebuild one for years but… Ah, you know how that is.”      “Yeah, don’t I just. Got a shell at home but… well.”      They both chuckled and Janet looked between them, brows raised with amusement.      “Hope you don’t mind if we hole up in here until the rain passes.”      “Not at all. Cam keeps saying that this place could use a feminine touch.”      As if summoned, a younger man stuck his head out from the staff room, chowing down on some macaroons. Introductions were made, macaroons passed around and the staff kettle boiling while the storm raged on outside. Janet set herself on top of a small step ladder, watching as the florist spoke excitedly about her motorbike preferences.      The store was large, much larger than her studio but with rows and rows of shelves cluttered with every type of nut, bolt, washer, screwdriver, and tool you could need. Jack didn’t keep the place very tidy but from what he’d told Janet, his ex-father-in-law had handed the keys over to him just before the divorce so most of the stuff was from as early as the ’80s.      “So you’re ex-military?” Sam asked Jack, making herself comfortable on a fishing chair.      “How could you tell?”      Sam blushed, shrugging. “I know your type. My father was in the Air Force.”      The man turned then, a sudden realisation coming to his face. “Carter. Of course, Jacob Carter?”      “Yeah. You knew him?”      “Met him in passing a few times. How is the old man going?”      “Oh, he...passed away a few years ago. Cancer.”      “Ah geez, I’m sorry. He was a good man.”      Cam emerged with a tray of cups and macaroons his grandmother had made, he explained. He set it down on the counter and passed both women a cup of hot coffee. Sam shot Janet a skeptical look as the smaller woman sniffed the liquid. It smelt wrong and she wasn’t sure any amount of creamer or sugar could save it.      “Sorry,” Cam commented, seeing their looks of distrust. “We usually get coffee from Jackson down the road so this is all we’ve got at the moment until the rain stops.” He held up his makeshift coffee mug - a mason jar that Janet could have sworn was holding pencils on the front desk moments ago. Jack took a sip from a battered styrofoam cup and grimaced.      “How’s Cas?” he asked the tattoo artist who decided not to risk the murky brown liquid and cradled the cup on her knee.      “Yeah, not bad. She, uh… got another detention today.” Janet shrugged.      “Just say the word, Jan, I can take her for a weekend. Straighten her out.” His words were not unkind and a smile accompanied them. She was well aware that his ‘straightening out’ would be movies and pizza. Still, it would be good for Cassie to spend some time with a parental figure like Jack. She often worried if she was doing the right thing by her daughter. It scared her to think that she was going to stuff her up in some way.      “Thanks, Jack.” Their eyes met for a moment and she almost missed his touch. No, she thought, she had to be strong. As handsome and enticing as Jack was, Janet couldn’t let herself go there again.

     It took almost an hour for the rain to ease and in that time, Sam and Jack seemed to hit it off, discussing their experience with the Air Force. Jealousy boiled in the base of her stomach but she tried to ignore it; she had no right to be jealous of either of them.      As soon as the sky cleared a little, Janet got to her feet, setting her cup down by the counter. Three sets of eyes followed her.      “I best get back. I don’t trust Vala with Cassie for too long; lord knows what trouble they’ll get into.”      Sam stood as well, smiling at the smaller woman. “I’ll walk you back.”      Janet nodded and the women said their goodbyes, not without Jack offering his help with Sam’s bike. There was that jealousy again and Janet made sure to hide it behind a tight-lipped smile.      “Sorry the tour didn’t go so well,” she commented once they were out on the street. They’d only made it half a block before the storm hit and cut their time together short. Now though, the sky was blue, the darkest clouds moving towards the ever-darkening horizon.      “It’s okay. They seem nice.”      “Yeah, they’re good guys.”      “Well maybe,” Sam shrugged, “I could buy you lunch tomorrow and we could finish the tour?”      Janet felt her cheeks get a little warm and she nodded, smiling gently. “Sure. I think I can fit you in.”      “I’ll bring the umbrella.”      They made it back to the shop as Cassie and Vala were locking the doors up. Sam made her way across to her bike that was drenched from the downpour.      “Let us give you a ride home,” Janet called. “We can swing by in the morning and drop you off.”      Even if Sam was more interested in Jack, Janet wouldn’t let that stop her from making friends. Women had to stick together and she definitely wasn’t about to let a guy get between her and a new friendship.      She saw Sam smile from across the road as she secured her bike and slung her bag over her shoulder. Janet made sure to ignore Cassie’s giggles all the way home.

#Stargate #stargate sg1 #Samantha carter #sam Carter #Janet Fraiser #sam carter x janet fraiser #sam/janet #janetfraiserdeservedbetter #Jack O'Neill #jack o'neill/sam carter #Daniel Jackson #Vala Mal Doran #cameron mitchell #Wlw #AU #Alternate Universe #tattoo shop au #flower shop au #cassandra fraiser #Tropes #cliches

[traiinedhard-a]

[ CHARACTER STUDY; SAITAMA & GENOS ]

THE FOLLOWING ANALYSIS CAN GO EITHER PLATONICALLY VIEWED OR ROMANTICALLY FOR THE DUO. i don’t care how you interpret it. go nuts! just know this is long as fuck.

I’m so GLAD Genos and Saitama have each other now. Without each other,,, genos would be wrecklessly trying to push himself to the point of near death and saitama would be wallowing in his own depression but now saitama has something to look forward to talking wise and genos has someone who cares so much about his well-being that he refuses to let him try and basically kill himself like the way he used to. now genos has someone who actually worries if he'll make it through a fight instead of just trying to self destruct at everything he just about loses to. he has been given a safer and more realistic goal to look forward to and he's become more relaxed. saitama's been able to be more expressive since he's constantly with genos, and he doesn't feel as empty because he feels like he has a reason to live now. it's clear that when they're apart saitama worries endlessly for genos (and once worries that something horrific would happen to genos if he were by himself) but without genos around he immediately goes back to his old, lonely ways and feels so unbearably sad and lonely that even king's like "shit man. u ok". and guess what? the moment he sees genos is safe and not dead or hanging on by a string, he’s IMMEDIATELY far happier and even visibly cheers up, and king’s like “WOAH you look awfully refreshed” and saitama’s like “yeah dude my head’s suddenly clear” and if that isn’t love then i don’t know what is. 

Of course kuseno cares if genos almost dies, but the thing is, kuseno seems to be just as bent on finding that cyborg as genos is. I feel like... though kuseno still cares for genos PERIOD, he seems to be pretty iffy on the fact that genos has been given more realistic goals to shoot for by saitama and even comments "you're seriously trying to aim for be s rank 1? is that what your master told you to do? what happened to getting vengence against the mad cyborg? where's your passion for that?" and genos is just. shocked and doesn't even reply for a moment and he's like "uh.. i mean.. OF COURSE i still want vengence but i gotta do what sensei wants.." etcBut I do think kuseno notes that this is for the better anyways, iffy feelings or not, because at least genos isn't basiclaly dragging himself in every single week and in tatters, because hell, while genos is strong even when saitama and him first met what was his solution to battles he couldn't win, and even sometimes now? use my core, self destruct, im not worthy of defeating the borg if im losing to this, time to end it, sorry dr kuseno, family, master etc Now Saitama steps in, and I was just REMINDED OF THIS SCENE IN PARTICULAR but like the arc where saitama knocks out genos in the middle of him and sonic’s fight? He was concerned for genos and as someone who rarely expresses concern or care for others, don't you think it's very telling that he stepped in on his own volition to make sure genos didn't get hurt to beat sonic's ass?even sonic comments "are you trying to protect him?" and saitama's like "yeah, of course" and he's clearly getting serious because he doesn't want genos hurt. hell, he even basically ghosted fubuki the moment he saw genos and sonic fighting! saitama really does worry a lot for genos and some of the things he worries about are really concerning..  but this isn't the first time he's been pretty scared for genos. remember the deep sea king fight? he was afraid genos bit the dust there for a it and even visibly relaxes when he finds out genos is okay and he says "Don't ever scare me like that again!" As for the saitama part of things, it's not hard to see the difference of before genos vs after genos. Genos brought color to his world and gave him company, and it's what he claims he never wanted but it's clear how much it helped him. I feel like if it weren't for genos, saitama would be just as shelled up if not more than he used to be -- he didn't really have much of anything to do and it's obvious he was starting to get bored of... life, to put it lightly. But when genos basically asserts himself into his life? he starts to feel again. he's not moping all the time, he has somebody to talk to instead of harmfully isolating himself. he's the kind of guy who was alone with his thoughts for too long -- we get glimpses of it every now and them, but we can clearly tell that he's got a lot of sad emotional baggage. it all stems from being too strong, ofc. but, still, he is DEEPLY troubled by it and life basically lost all meaning for him. any farther and i feel like he would've legitimately felt like existing was useless, though with a body like his i highly doubt he could take... action. And the longer he's alone with his thoughts, the worse he gets, and he just becomes so... mopey. forgive me if i sound repetitive, but like!! genos comes in, and all of that is GONE within a few days. He must've spilled about how lonely he felt to genos at some point before he started getting closer to him -- based on the canon info where saitama actually got genos to cry uncontrollably when he told him how lonely he felt which had to have been some serious shit because. genos does NOT cry. with someone else to keep him away from his thoughts, he started to lighten up. at the beginning of the series it's safe to say he was pretty damn standoffish -- but now? now he's actually attempting to socialize with other people, he actually hangs out with more people whether he wants to admit it or not. He's become a bit softer (not much) to those he doesn't know, and DEFINITELY more expressive -- ESPECIALLY AROUND genos. he's become more thoughtful -- he doesn't mope about his powers much anymore, he does anything and everything with genos because he can talk about it and lose himself in the moment. At least, that's what i like to think. and all around... he's found a new passion for life. the dude isn't just wandering around aimlessly now, he's hanging out with genos and he's living to protect the citizens and genos after he moved in. Yeah, he's always gonna have a strong moral compass and save people, but the joy and the meaning of such actions fall to black and white until genos shows up again. now he's got a reason to keep fighting. he has a reason to get out of bed and feel like his strength means something -- because he can use it to protect others and protect genos even if nobody but genos is thankful of it. As much as he detests the attention he gets from Genos -- think about it, don't you think it helps to have someone think you're not totally useless? That your work does mean something to at least one person even if the world basically gives you the finger? Because I don't think saitama realizes it, but Genos is the one thing keeping him going in the hero job. I honestly think he would have quit when everyone chanted at him to give it up after destroying that meteor if it wasn't for genos -- he saved everyone's lives, and genos was the only one to see it. genos is the one that gets him to calm down and realize that if they don't care, that doesn't matter -- he'd always be there for saitama And anyways, the gist of all this goes back to my first point -- it's amazing that they have each other now, because imagine all the development and all the ways they've been improving just never existing.  Without Saitama,  genos would still be the same wreckless kid trying to throw himself without thought into wreckless battles. Saitama has helped him heed himself on that, and to relax and stop taking everything so seriously. Genos still takes some things too literally., like the 10-20 word limit when talking to saitama, but I feel like half the time, Saitama couldn't really care less.  Without Genos, Saitama would be the same old sad sack of hero he used to be, holed up and his depression worsening because he hardly ever leaves the apartment but for what? Sales? Manga? Sometimes Monsters if he happens to run into them? He doesn't do much of anything and it took a heavy toll on his mental health, but now Genos is there to get him out, to possibly even comfort him or just support him if he needs it. He gets Saitama out of the house, involved ina  lot of other activities, and when Genos isn't around, Saitama... doesn't fare too well at all. //COUGHS LOUDLY@ THE MANGA REFERENCED EARLIER  (( and personally, despite saitama coming off as almost always :^| i feel like the poor guy really really overthinks things. you may think there's nothing going on in there, but his thoughts really are dangerous for him  to be alone with )) Romance or not, there’s no denying this. Like, I DARE anyone to try to say they would be good w/o each other -- I feel like so much of the fandom takes this kinda.. not seriously? It’s not really meant as a dig or anything, but a lot of ppl take what they have for granted.. 

Saitama just wants to be carefree and he’s still very much lax, and even though he knows he’s a shitty teacher, I think that he does a great job of teaching genos that there’s more to life than REVENGE, SELF DESTRUCTION, and FIGHTING. He teaches him to enjoy the little things in life, and Genos rejuvenates his passion for heroism. I feel like Genos wants to be strong physically and that’s why he so heavily admires Saitama, too, but that’s a bit off topic.   It’s something Saitama’s been missing for a long time, and something Genos never had -- he just wants Genos to feel as human as possible, and I feel like he tries all too hard to get Saitama to open up as well. Genos may  not be the best at therapy or whatever, but seeing as he’s the person Saitama is closest to, he definitely does want Saitama to feel like he’s never alone and I just. Cannot stress how IMPORTANT THIS IS. Saitama’s got a history of bottling everything up and avoiding confrontation, But Genos? The cyborg wears his heart on his SLEEVE, even if he probably wouldn’t view it that way himself.  Thanks to him, Saitama can be himself. He doesn’t have to hide away what he really acts like -- not that he cared much for it anyways -- but around genos he can be.. childish. He can be difficult. He can be whatever he wants, and no matter what, Genos will be there to support him. And I really, really admire that. ONE & Murata did them the best justice i’ve ever seenwith a relationship like theirs. And if there was ever anyone to get romantic with for them -- not even as a shipper, but from a story pov -- saigenos makes so much more sense. They bring out the BEST in each other, and they live together, and... well,, THIS post sums up all my feelings on the matter.

Genos wants to help Saitama in whatever way he can. Saitama wants to make sure Genos lives out his life like any normal person would. You get the gist?

sO. IN CONCLUSION, Saitama and genos may not realize it.... but they definitely need each other. Them meeting was for the best of both of their lives -- and without each other there's no way in HELL they'd be doing as good as they are now.

#OKAY RANT OVER #I KNOW IT'S A JUMBLED MESS BUT HNNNNNNN #⌠jonesy speaks⌡ #okay to reblog #⌠character study; jonesy rambles⌡

[monki-secretary]

Ahem... hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages, as well as the, uh, gals. My name is Slayter; I am here, and y'all are there. This message is for everyone of the present and the future, beyond this date: March 8th, 2021th. My birthday. My 16th birthday. I am mid functioning vvd, and in my 16 years, I have seen and learned so much. And today, I am share--intend to share some wise words that I hope each and every one of you will take to heart and will offer yourself and everyone else a better, brighter future. First off, remember to stay away from the danganronpa fandom. It is a place of toxiciy, a place for idiots, a place where you have constant useless sexuality debates. If you are an underage monogatari fan please be careful around adult fans. So learn everything you are able to, and grow with it. Now, you should also be able to try something for yourself, before forming praise or detest of it. As long as those things will not harm you, or shorten your lifetime in any way, it's totally cool. What is totally NOT cool, though, is thinking or doing these things, which are very harmful to you, and definitely gr—will gross out those around you that don't do it, because I haven't done it and I don't like it—doing either of them. You should avoid at all costs playing persona, playing touhou, and intaking any similar icky dangerous stuff. And danganronpa will eventually cause cancer, and it will—you'll be more likely to get heart attacks, viruses, and your life will be cut drastically short. They don't call danganronpa "cringe" for nothing, other than killing you slowly. If I could, I would take every last ounce of danganronpa, put it on a rocket, and shoot it up to the Moon. And for, uh, touhou, it'll cause, uh, liver dysfunction, kidney prob—kidney failures, and uh, not only that, but, when you play it enough, bar fights and automobile accidents. So it's a real slow-acting poison. And I haven't done either one, and look at me now, I'm, uh... fit as a fiddle, and I'm livin' sixth-teen, hopin' to live on to be about eighty to a hundred. And y'all—hopefully, y'all will get a chance to get up to that ripe old age, as well. Now, among(us) the better things you should definitely try before despising, is some of the hobbies of those of your own—opposite gender. Like, uh, for example, if you are a young gentleman, I recommend buying yourself a My Little Pony figure of your favorite color or whatever. Now, uh, stroking the hair of said pony is very relaxing and therapeutic, and also rubbing it against your ass. That's... nice. And also, uh, you can pretend that, uh, the pony is, uh, that girl you want to take you wanna take out to—you wanna take out sometime, and talk to the pony like you would talk to the girl. Now for the, uh, ladies I would recommend... a good old monkey plushie. Because you can get to learn how to examine the ...monkey... and variations of... each and every... I mean, of the, uh, monkey you have... like, uh, you would tr—like you would learn how... a man... works. And it'll allow you to feel more comfortable in approaching, and talking to, that boy you've been flirtin' from a distance, or, uh, just have been, uh, flirting with from a distance. And, uh, hopefully, uh, all you have to do is just end up and say "hello". I mean, it's not so hard. All you have to do is say "hello" to the man, ladies; that's all. And everything will just get going from there. And also, uh, with the, uh, monkey, while it's in ape mode you can pret—watch it whoop whoop. But any—in any case, uh, while few people may ridicule you, you should not worry about it, because most everybody will be o—totally okay with it, because it won't matter. It won't matter, because they see you enjoyin' it, and it's totally cool, if you're enjoying it. So you enjoy it, just do it—don't worry about other people's opi—pinions. Because, uh, compared to the other schools, those people who disregard you are just total peanuts. And I'm not talkin' Onision; I'm talkin' 'bout the little nuts after the shells. The real peanut gallery. That would be peanuts, wouldn't it? Also keep in mind that, while you're playin' with these things, you should keep in mind of what your true, original gender is. Because, uh, it's like you worry about that girl you want to take on a date—YOUNG MAN!—or, uh, likewise, you feel more comfortable to approach that boy—by just saying "hello"—that you've been checkin' out from a distance—YOUNG LADY!—and hopefully in due time or now, each and every one of you will stay straight. You know, girl for boy, boy for girl? Everything else is vice, as said by Doctor Kinsey. Not just for me, not for The Big Man Upstairs, not for your family, but do it for, uh, yourself, and for—and for the benefits of everyone in the future: your children, your children's children... And, besides, if you stray away from the straight path, it can really jeopardize the entire future of the world and the human race. Also, girls and ladies, don't just go over gaga, over the handsome rich boys... and men... because they may turn out to be disrespectful and distasteful in their personality. You should take into consideration all the other gentlemen that you may have considered, that may be less attractive, or equally—less or moderately. Because those will—because they will likely have a better personality that you will—that you will generally enjoy and like, and they may end up having a brighter future for themselves. Like, look at me now—I'm shootin' this movie for a DVD... that's gon—that I hope will be shown in a couple of schools, at least. Now, uh, also, uh... also, when you—when each and every one of you has a true general understanding of the, uh, opposite gender, and after that—finding that special MAN—LADIES!—or that special GIRL—GENTLEMEN!—always keep the... heart and memories of times that you two felt most attracted to each other, because that will be a key point to recovering from any disputes or arguments that you two might have in the future. Otherwise, so you two will just be darn happy with each other. But it's not all always gonna be peaches and cream or strawberry shortcakes. And also remember, you two should KEEP each other, because there will be nobody else—no matter how much you think about it—nobody else that can replace that special someone—him for her or... her for him—there's just nobody else...there's no substitute for that first one. And now, I leave you with the lessons that you should have—I hope you have learned from my message. You should all—you should stay in school, learn as you much. And try before you praise and despise. Never smoke! Never drink! Never worry about how others think of you when you do things... or... when you play with things that may not s—that may not seem like you—or whatever. Don't be afraid to approach those of your opposite gender. And MOST IMPORTANTLY! PLEASE... STAY STRAIGHT,DO NOT BE GAY. I leave you with those words, as I have shared with you on this, my sixt-teenth birthday, March 8th, 2021. I am "Slayter" Slayter. Live long, and shine on, in your very own unique way. War is never the answer; peace is. Never fight. Compliments will get you fuzzy-wuzzies. War gets you prickly-wicklies... as well as punches. They get you those, too. Thank you very much, and have a wonderful day, I love Nagito Komaeda.*shits and farts*

#chrischan #chris chan #danganronpa #kin #kin memories #awesomesauce

[theysangastheyslew]

Rules:


1. Post the rules


2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger


3. Write 11 questions of your own


4. And tag 11 people

Got tagged by @purplemaple-xoxo​! Thank you dear!! :D

1.What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? I’m like the least spontaneous person so do the random online purchases count? 

2. What is one of your favourite childhood food?s A tostada shell with cheddar cheese nuked in the microwave till it’s super crisp and so sharp when you bite into it it’s borderline dangerous :3

3.What is one of your favorite pieces you have contributed to your fandom(s)?  Right now it’s kinda a toss up between Engraved, Puppy Kisses, or Given Names 

4.What is your favourite animal and why? Aaaaagghhh there’s too many to narrow it down to one? 0A0

6. What is something you own/made that you are proud of? My FMA merch and my Teeturtle plushies *w*

7.What are you excited for that is going to happen in the future?  I’m actually pretty bummed about the premise of the bonus manga so tHE ROY AND RIZA NENDOROIDS

8.What do you draw inspiration from? *nervous laugh*  well if you’ve seen my gallery then you’ll notice I’m a crossover nut  and I love doing fanfic art so really I get ideas from all over the place…

9.What is the funniest thing that has happened to you in the last month? The fact that I turned 25. Never thought I’d get this far so it’s funny to me :’D

10. What is your perfect day? Rainy day, little-to-no contact from real life, Netflix, pjs, and a clear idea in my head as I draw for hours with no artblock in sight -w-

11. If you could be more like a fictional character, who would you choose? Tbh I wish I was more like Roy Mustang. To know what I want in life and be driven enough and clever enough to achieve it. To love as fiercely as he does… I’d be a much better person I think :X

Now for my questions:

1. Fictional character that you don’t like but reminds you of yourself?

2. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?

3. Last show you watched that you made you yell at the screen?

4. What was the first drink you had from Starbucks?

5. Opinion on fake Christmas trees?

6. Name of your favorite childhood sleep toy?

7. Do you currently have the power to blackmail someone in your life right now?

8. Favorite swear word or phrase (mine’s “ass-faced fucknugget” :D)?

9. What do you need to buy most next time you go to the grocery store?

10. Do you get along with your family well enough to enjoy the holidays at all?

11. Song that you hate the most right now? Tagging @psycho-alchemist, @murrchow, @the-flame-and-hawks-eye, @angel-with-a-pipette, @trashpahndah, @italeteller, @throwaninkpot, and @logo-comics if any of you are up for it! <33

#tag youre it #le me #woops thats 12 people not 11 #oh well xd

[youruinedmylifebynotbeingreal]

Hey Love, I saw you posted a :( again 😞 So just gonna tell your an Amazing, Sweet, and Wonderful Person and I love talking to you. Also btw your like one of the smartest people ever (like seriously) and I hope your week gets better soon💕 Also to distract you 1, 12, 13, 24, 37, 48, and 50

Thank you so much 😭💖 Every time I see you in my notifications I smile. Thank you for your kind words, for your support, for everything.

I’m okay now, by the way. My parents and I just have very differing political views, and they were talking about something earlier that just really hit me in the heart and hurt me. But I’m okay now💖

OKAY SO. ONTO THE QUESTIONS!

1. First things first, did you have a good year?Parts of it!Let’s start with the good:•Saw my two very favorite bands live!•Joined the Choices fandom!•Joined the Tangled fandom!•A BUNCH OF MY FAVORITE BOOKTUBERS WERE A PART OF A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING ANTHOLOGY AND IM STILL SO PROUD!!!•Made some amazing friendships that I’m so grateful for.•Started an amazing job at my school that’s helped me break out of my shell! Last year if you’d told me I’d be talking to hundreds of students each day, I would’ve laughed at you or passed out.😂•I’ve gained a (mostly) super amazing work family. I’m so thankful for (most of) them. •I’m also really proud of how far I’ve gotten in Spanish! A year ago if you told me it would be my favorite class and that I’d be planning my semester around it and that I was minoring in it, I would’ve told you you were nuts. But now, it’s the class I most look forward to and has my very favorite teacher. •To build on that Spanish bullet, I have the very best teacher who’s so supportive and amazing and I’m just??? So glad that she’s in my life??? She’s truly amazing and gives me so much confidence in my ability to speak the language. It really is because of her that I’ve begun to love the language even more than ever before. Aaaand now the bad:•The whole world turning to shit!•Lost a few friendships I wasn’t expecting to lose, but I’ve made better friends.

Im sure there’s more I could add to each list, but the goods seem to outweigh the bads ^.^

12. What was your favorite movie of the year?Not gonna lie, I haven’t really seen a new movie since last year… there isn’t a movie theater nearby + even if there was I barely have any time with school, and dvds are so expensive, I don’t really watch many recent movies 😂 I’m pretty sure the only non-tv movie I watched this year was Beauty and the Beast, so I guess it’s automatically that one?😂

13. Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?Not really 😬 Like I said before, school keeps me super busy and I barely have time to keep up with the fandoms I’m in😂

24. Did you get a pet?Kind of??? So there are these stray cats that have been around my family’s house since last year, but recently we decided to bring them in at night so they wouldn’t get cold with the weather, and now they pretty much stay inside 😂😂😂

37. If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?Probably. I’m not sure what that thing would be, but probably.

48. If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do? Who would you go with?That is a very good question. Tbh if money wasn’t an issue, I’d probably fly out to spend time with my friend Sydney who lives in Hawaii, or my friend Zineb who lives in Morocco, and have them show me around! And, obviously, I’d go with them😂

50. What do you wish for yourself?I’m really not sure. That I’ll stay on top of my work like I did this semester. That I continue to nurture the friendships I’ve made this year. That I keep working hard in general. That I try to learn from my mistakes from this year, that I become even more aware of the world around me… That I stay as happy as I can, because I’m tired of spending my life sad.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! You’re so amazing, thank you for being the best follower ever, I love you bunches.

#ask #answered #wildatheart15 #seriously though #you make me so happy #if you ever wanna talk #just message me! #personal

[leio13]

I was Tagged!!! Thrice!!! (Holy Cow...)

I’m back with 33 more questions to answer! I was gonna make a joke last time about it being the ultimate get-to-know-me post, but I guess not. Good thing I held off on that joke, huh.

1. Post the rules

2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

3. Write 11 questions of your own

4. And tag 11 people

First, I was tagged by the lovely @missmizpah! Thanks, Emily!

1. Opinion on nuts?

Nuts are alright. Honey nut roasted peanuts though are more than alright. They are some good stuff.

2. Favorite book genre?

Hmm... I don’t really have a favorite genre. I’m really picky about books and a lot of other things honestly but my pickiness applies to all genres. I just like books with complex characters really.

3. Worst injury/illness?

I don’t actually get seriously injured that often; however, there was this one time I dropped my metal water bottle on my thumb. It hurt like hell and there was some blood under the nail. No big deal, right? That’s what I thought too. And I don’t really remember the transition that well, but in a few days, the area under my thumb nail was a navy blue and swelling out under the nail. a lot. It was probably one of the grossest things I’ve seen. good thing my mom took before and after pictures before they drained it. Don’t worry though. I won’t be posting those here.

4. What attracts you to someone platonically?

Er... kindness, loyalty, respect, AKA the really cliche stuff, and uh, chivalry, I guess. Treat me like a princess (for some reason) and you’re halfway there!

5. What was the last dream you had?

I had an interesting dream about Ouma from NDRv3. I went to his house which was more of a shack since his single parent family was super poor. His dad said that Ouma was actually a good boy (I have doubts). Ouma owned a crap ton of rainbow shark plushies (he really liked sharks apparently), and some bad dudes who were pissed at Ouma chased us back to the school (which was apparently a safe place that we wanted to be at). I skipped some details, but that was basically it. Also, keep in mind that I’ve only seen up to the death of chapter 2 (haven’t even started the investigation yet), so I kind of just made these details up in my dream and don’t spoil me. Orz.

6. Are you someone who eats cough drops like candy?

I haven’t had cough drops since I was in eighth grade and thought was I was having an asthma attack and my inhaler wasn’t working. In hindsight, it was a panic attack, but I recall the cough drop working a bit strangely enough. Anyway, I don’t really eat cough drops, no.

7. Native language?

English.

8. What size shoes do you wear?

Size 8 apparently. I think some of my shoes are a 7 1/2 though.

9. What is your current hair length?

Around my shoulders.

10. One habit you’re sure is specific to you?

I don’t know if I have any habits that are specific to me. um... I don’t really like the part of the utensil which you stick in your mouth touching anything besides me, my plate, or a napkin, so I tend to hold utensils in my mouth (knives excluded, duh because they don’t go in your mouth). It’s kind of a habit now, I guess. Does that count?

11. How far would you swim out into the ocean?

Negative feet. I’m not going in the ocean. There are things in there that I want nothing to do with such as seaweed, angry crabs that I could accidentally step on, sharp rocks or shells, sharks, jellyfish, etc.

Next, @excitable-nugget‘s questions! Thanks a bunch, Gnugs!

1. If you could have one sense enhanced, what would it be?

Definitely not taste. Tastes are wonderful (or some of them at least), but I’m already picky as it is, so I don’t really want more tastes to discriminate against. Touch probably wouldn’t be such a good idea either since I get startled easily and tongue (one picky dude, I tell you) is actually pretty sensitive to food textures too. Smell wouldn’t be bad except sometimes when I’m sick, everything smells like vomit, so I don’t really want to risk that being enhanced. Overall, I’m gonna go with sight (yes, I did skip hearing. I didn’t have much to say about it). Better vision in the dark could be pretty lit. Might also help ease some of my night paranoia. 2. Can you link your hands behind your back with one over the shoulder and one under? (like this)

One way. I can do it with my right hand reaching over. Kind of freaked me out though. I wasn’t ready for my hands to meet like that even if it was the goal. 3. Favourite colour to wear, or your favourite colour in general?

Favorite color to wear? Black. I just own a lot of black. Favorite color in general? Orange. 4. What was your internet pseudonym when you were 12-14?

It was Leio13. I’ve been Leio13 for as long as I’ve been on the internet. 5. What’s your favourite meat-based dish? If you don’t eat meat, what’s your favourite dish in general?

My favorite meat dish is steak. It’s just sooooo good. 6. Would you rather be known as wise or strong?

Probably wise. I used to think I was super smart as a kid, but now I feel pretty average and/or stupid/incompetent, so it would be nice for that feeling to come back. 7. What’s your favourite physical feature about yourself?

Probably my hair even if it knots excessively when no one wants it to. 8. Would you rather explore the ocean depths or space?

The ocean is such a vibrant, beautiful place! I love underwater images and would love to see it in person, but it would have to be in a submarine or something because I’m not going out there with only a wet suit protecting my flesh. 9. What’s your favourite snack food?

This is hard... I eat so many snacks. Hmm... I’m feeling ritz bitz. 10. If you could make one thing from fiction (e.g. a character, a place, a food, a machine) real, what would it be?

I don’t really have any deep answers here, but I think Odasaku (as he is in Bungou Stray Dogs) and his orphans being real would be really sweet. They’d be such a cute family. #familygoals 11. Is Australia real or just a conspiracy?

Australia? don’t know her.

Finally, I was tagged by the wonderful @chom-raaa! Thanks, Chomra!

1. Heroes gone bad or villains becoming good?

How could I choose???? They’re both so fantastic!! Wonderful character development opportunities abound with both!! ...that being said, while I appreciate the psychology of both of them, I tend to side with the good guys, so if all you wonderful villains could join the side I support, I guess that would be better.

2. Did you ever get in trouble in school? When was the last time and what was it about?

er... I don’t think so. No wait. One time, we were playing a game in class but my friend and I got out, so we were chatting on the sidelines even though we were supposed to be paying attention to those still playing (this was an ice breaker game). Anyway, the teacher said something about being quiet, and my dense self took it as “you can continue talking but quietly,” so I did. The teacher had to yell again for it to click with me. This was in like 5th grade, but I’m still disappointed in that me. I wasn’t that dense normally in fifth grade.

3. Hot drinks or cold drinks?

cold drinks. 

4. Any siblings? Older/younger? Would you have it any other way?

I’ve got two amazing siblings, both older than me! I don’t really think I would want it any other way. I’m content with what I have now.

5. You most prized possession?

My technology and anime merch maybe? 

6. What’s a fandom trope that makes you uncomfortable?

hoo boy. Where to begin??? I hate slave AUs (can’t really understand why you would like them). As you probably already know, I dislike smut, so the appeal of A/B/O universes is beyond me entirely. er... sexualizing characters? calling out the soukoku fandom: Chuuya always seems to be the more sexy one who other dudes and Dazai are always eyeing and lusting after. Like, can we appreciate the guy for more than his looks and impeccable fashion taste?? uh... also, Fyodor being depicted as some dude who is dead set on destroying soukoku (usually by the means of torturing Chuuya in some way to hurt Dazai which by the way is just... no.). I’m pretty sure Fyodor has better things to do??? Like kill all ability users?? Er, sorry. Not sure if you wanted specific fandom tropes or not, but uh, yeah.

7. What do find attractive in a fictional character?

BLAZERS!!

If you meant personality wise, I like passionate, kind characters, and also the mysterious, probably misunderstood type.

8. If could bring a character back to life but sacrifice another character in return (major-ish characters for those fandoms with a big cast), who would you choose?

Bringing back Odasaku, sending Fyodor to hell where he belongs. Of course, I wouldn’t actually because as much as I cry over the events of the dark era, I know that these things needed to happen for Dazai to end up where he is currently.

You know what? Better idea: still bringing back Odasaku but killing Lovecraft. The dude should’ve died after Chuuya destroyed him. I’m still bitter about his survival even if his parting scene was hilarious.

9. Long fics or short fics? In terms of both reading and writing?

I’m typically hesitant to read long fics because I have difficulty keeping up or finishing things. I bet there are a plethora of interesting long fics out there that I haven’t clicked on because I fear my motivation might die before I finish them. Likewise, it takes me centuries to write long fics, but I do really admire the art! Creating a complex story that spans over chapters is an epic feat that should not be underestimated. That being said, I do love short fics too! Short fics that still fill me with intense emotions are an equally epic thing. Like, how do you get so many feels in so little words???

10. Are you content with who you are?

haha nah. There are a lot of things about me that I wish were better. For one, i wish my motivation actually existed. I’m so unmotivated to do anything, even the littlest of things. Even things that I know would be fun. I just can’t convince myself to do them... Orz. Er... There are more things, but I don’t want to make this super sad. You came here for memes, not angst! Maybe not, but anyway...

11. What is holding you back from getting what you want?

I don’t know what this thing I want is referring to, but I’d bet 5000 imaginary monies that its my motivation or anxiety that’s interfering. 

Thanks for the wonderful questions, y’all! <3

Now, it’s my turn!

er... actually, I’m not feeling any creative question vibes, so if I tag you, please refer to the questions of the last time did this meme (psst! over here!). Without further ado, I’m tagging @haruki-00, @dusttodawnn, @melrw22, @bandaged-chessmaster, @ai-san-arts, @4nimenut, @96percentdone, @monokumamastermind, @sadtiredbaby, @wymoup-nox, and @yesterdayohhowimissit! As usual, only do it if you want, and do it if you want but you weren’t tagged.

#I was tagged! #sorry for that negativity at the end #orz #I had things to say in the tags but I have them no longer it would seem #I forgot #what's new?

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: We’ll All Go Together When We Go (ao3) - chapter 2 Fandom: Flash, Legends Pairing: Barry Allen/Mick Rory, Leonard Snart & Mick Rory

Summary: Doomworld takes some time to fix. Barry and Mick use that time to find each other.

(written for @flashwaveweek 2017 for Day 1: Meet Cute. yes, I'm out of order, I know.)

——————————————————————————

“Going my way, stranger?” a light voice asks.

Mick looks up.

Barry.

Barry.

Leaning on the side of the stupid SUV Mick’s sitting in, waiting for Snart to come back with the goods so Mick can drive them away before the cops come and get them.

…assuming that Snart is, in fact, going after the goods.

Barry isn’t even in costume.

“Did Snart set up this heist as a blind date?” Mick asks, vaguely despairing because that is one hundred percent Leonard fucking Snart all over.

Barry grins at him, that big beautiful smile that Mick fell in love with in the middle of a hellscape dystopia, for the first time unshadowed by pain and loss and hurt, and Mick falls just a little in love all over again looking at how bright it is.

“He told me to tell you he’d parked his bike on the other side of the building in advance, not to worry about him, and that you should take me for ice cream,” Barry says. “Can I jump in?”

Mick grumbles but reaches over to push open the door in quiet agreement.

He still checks his phone, of course – the Flash is nominally the sworn enemy of the Rogues, as Snart’s started calling them – but sure enough, there’s a message in all caps, “GET OVER URSELF ALREADY!!! B877.”

The last bit is code for which safehouse Snart’s planning on being at, and when, to make sure that their phones don’t get cloned or copied or spoofed into sending messages that are meant to lure them into traps. They used to insist on speaking with each other, but in the brand new era of voice patterners, text is just as good at conveying messages as anything else.

Felicity has informed them that she hates them both personally and that she will crack their code one day.

Mick doesn’t have the heart to tell her that there is no code; they just know each other well enough to be able to figure out where and when based on how long a keysmash is involved.

Barry clambers into the car seat next to Mick, moving at regular speed.

“You know you don’t need to slow down for me,” Mick says, starting up the car.

“I’m in civvies,” Barry says with a shrug. “And you’ve always been on me to keep the division clearer.”

Mick can’t help but smile a bit at that. It was one of the things they’d discussed in Doomworld, curled up with each other in the dark; how Barry was letting Flash things slip into his life and visa versa, and how that was going to drive him nuts in the end. Mick’s always been good at compartmentalizing when he needs to.

But that was then, and there, and this is now.

Doomworld is a fading memory in most people’s minds, if not entirely gone already; even Felicity, who they made sure remembered everything, has put most of it behind her and moved on. Mick knows that Ramon and Snow, Resistance members and Barry’s best friends, either requested the forgetfulness cure or simply moved straight into denial; as far as he knows, they’ve never mentioned it, not once.

The Legends –

The Legends kept their memories, but chose to forget nearly everything about it - other than Mick’s betrayal, that is.

There’s a reason he’s not with them now.

That they’re not with them now.

Him and Snart.

Because of course Barry agreed, whole-heartedly, to bring Snart back from his death at the Oculus, to give him the memories of Doomworld in addition to the ones he had of his time with the Legends. When they’d woken back up at home, in a booth in the back of Saints and Sinners, Snart had been shell-shocked and horrified and shaking.

Mick wrapped his arms around him, stares of other customers be damned, and he hadn’t let go for a good, long while.

It’d helped a bit, helped both of them, but still, Snart stayed that way, shaky and unbalanced, for far longer than either of them would like.

Mick abandoned any immediate plans to go find Barry to take care of his best friend, to comfort him and find comfort in his presence, to assure him that the brain damage he’d wrought upon himself wasn’t permanent and hadn't persisted past the end of Doomworld – turns out Snart had gone after the involuntary portions of his brain to carve out the last awful bits of Conversion, the subconscious parts of it, inflicted upon himself nightmares and slowness of mind and ruined the steadiness of his hands, his most highly valued possession, the flickers of movement in his fingers that Mick had seen but misread as anxiety.

Snart, in Doomworld, hadn’t even known that this wasn’t the first time he’d given up his hands for Mick, but Mick knew, and the recovered version of Snart knew, too, but even with all that he still wanted Mick by his side.

By the time that Snart was finally calm again, Mick had time to remember that Barry had Iris back now.

So he’d stayed away, stayed back.

He’d given Barry space.

He and Snart, they’d gone back the way they used to be – heists and arsons and fun stuff like that, easy jobs to help get them back in the groove, get them working together in sync the way they always have. They’d gone to see Lisa, who’d cried and kissed them both, and they’d picked up some shiny new paintings for their walls – but they hadn’t gone back to supervillainy, because Mick wasn’t sure what he’d do if he saw Barry and nothing had changed.

If they were nothing more than enemies again.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, after letting Mick dawdle a bit, Snart had decided to take things into his own hands.

The man simply could not resist interfering in Mick’s love life.

“He really suggested ice cream?” Mick asks Barry, who grins. “Of course he did.”

“He couldn’t resist the possibility of a cold joke, I think,” Barry says. “It doesn’t have to be ice cream.”

“Pizza? With all those weird toppings you like?”

“Yes, please,” Barry says, and his smile is brighter than ever.

They drive in silence for a few minutes.

And then –

“How’s it –” “Is he –”

They speak at the same time, then they both laugh.

“You first,” Mick grunts.

“Is Snart doing okay?” Barry asks. “He seemed fine when I spoke with him. Maybe a bit anxious.”

“His anxiety’s been playing up,” Mick acknowledges. “Think he’s getting better, though.”

He told Barry all about Snart’s issues when they’d been together in Doomworld: the anxiety disorder, the PTSD, the old injuries, the weak spots. He felt like a traitor even when he’d done it, but he’d had no choice. Snart was Legion; Snart was the enemy, and he couldn’t hold anything back.

Snart forgave him for that too, once they were back.

Mick still doesn’t feel like he deserves it, but Snart cut the legs out from under any protest he could’ve made right off the bat, telling him that Mick wasn’t allowed to take away Snart’s decisions on what to forgive when he was trying to apologize for violating his privacy.

Even Mick had to concede the logic there.

He’d at least managed to turn it back around on Snart when Snart had started apologizing to him about the whole Kronos/Time Masters business. That was something.

Not often he gets one over on Snart like that. His partner sulked flamboyantly for the rest of the evening, a sure-fire sign he wasn't actually upset at how things had fallen out.

“Good to hear that,” Barry says.

“The heists have been helping,” Mick adds, unable to keep from teasing a little.

Barry rolls his eyes. “Don’t tell me that,” he laughs. “I’m still technically supposed to be stopping you, not tacitly endorsing therapy-by-heist.”

“Well, this one was clearly a bust,” Mick says dryly. “Since he didn’t even try to steal nothing. I’d wondered why he made me stay in the car…”

“Knowing Snart, he probably did steal something,” Barry points out, which Mick concedes with a grin. “But hopefully, even if he didn't, this evening's not entirely a bust...?”

“I did pick you up,” Mick agrees, though cautiously.

His heart gives a little throb of joy when Barry nods in agreement.

“What were you going to say?” Barry asks, after a moment of pleasant silence. “Earlier?”

Ah, yes.

Mick’s never been one for refusing to face the fire, and putting off pain only makes it hurt more.

So he’s going to ask, even if he doesn’t want to hear the answer.

“How’s it going, being back to your old life?” Mick asks. “The Flash, the CSI…Iris.”

Barry winces a little, even though he must’ve known it was coming. “Iris is good,” he says, answering the part of the question that Mick really cares about. “We’re…not engaged anymore.”

Mick’s eyebrows go up in silent question.

“Eobard brought Eddie Thawne back in Doomworld,” Barry says. “They were trapped together in the Compound. They talked a lot while they were Eobard's prisoners.”

Eddie Thawne, Eddie Thawne, Eddie – oh.

“Her old fiancé? The one that died?”

“Sacrificed himself so that Eobard - Eobard Thawne - would never be born,” Barry corrects quietly. “He’s a good guy. Even I like him.”

“Even though he stole your girl?”

“Iris’ nobody’s girl,” Barry says, and that smile peeks through again, warm and fond. Iris is Barry’s the way Snart is Mick’s; Mick’s always known that. He’d just thought those two kids had taken that step further, the one Snart and Mick were never going to take, the one where they’d wear rings on their fingers that proclaimed the fact that they were one unit and kissed in a way that said the same. But maybe - maybe not. “She’s her own girl. But – yeah. She needed some time to process, after Doomworld –”

Iris was one of the ones who chose to keep her memory. Mick’s not surprised. Journalist like that – no surprise she preferred knowledge over ignorance.

“– and in the end, well. Eddie and I both said she could do whatever she liked, and that neither of us would hold her to any promises made, but she was struggling. Iris never gives up on a promise, never, but this wasn’t really a situation she was expecting, y’know?”

“So you backed off,” Mick says. Always the hero, his Barry.

“I told her about you,” Barry says, surprising Mick. “It didn’t make the decision for her, but it helped, knowing that I had someone. That I wasn’t stepping back just to make her happy – I’m so incredibly done making Iris West’s decisions for her, she’s made it clear how she feels about that – but that I was stepping back for me, too. Because she isn’t the only person who could make me happy, the way she is for Eddie.”

Mick’s throat’s feeling all tight and scratchy again. He hates that feeling, but honestly, he’s starting to get used to it.

“I see,” he manages to get out.

“If you’re still interested, of course,” Barry adds.

“Are you nuts?” Mick exclaims. “Of course I’m still –”

Barry’s laughing.

“You set me up for that,” Mick says accusingly, but he’s smiling, now, Smiling free and clear, a weight off his chest - off his life. Things look brighter, somehow, less clouded.

“You bet I did,” Barry says, smug and cheerful. “I admit, I was a bit worried at first – you’re a supervillain, I’m a superhero, this isn’t actually a comic book despite any similarities we may or may not have to it, and you were back doing your thing with Snart –”

“Me and Snart – we’re not –”

“I know, I know. I believe you, trust me. I get having friends that are closer than family. I just wasn’t sure if I’d – I don’t know. Clutter up your life, I guess.”

“Never,” Mick says. “You only add to it.”

Barry’s cheeks go just the slightest bit pink and he has to duck his head a bit. “Yeah, well. I’m insecure, I guess. Anyway, so while I was moping around feeling sorry for myself, Snart kidnapped me –”

“He did what?”

“I think that’s just how he says hi,” Barry says. “Not gonna lie.”

Barry’s – not necessarily wrong, actually.

Goddamn Snart. He’d been a supervillain long before there were words for it.

(Had he kidnapped any of Mick’s exes before this? That would explain so much about why Alex socked Mick in the face during their break-up…)

Luckily, Barry doesn’t seem to mind.

“Anyway, he gave me a shovel talk and a pep talk –”

“All in one speech?”

“I was impressed, too,” Barry assures Mick. “Anyway, he told me the plan for today, said we ought to get our acts together, forget the bullshit and just let ourselves be happy. When I brought up the whole supervillain-superhero thing, he told me that we needed to remember that we weren’t bound by the, and I quote, ‘tawdry conventions of comic book lit where everything’s an excuse for more drama’.”

Mick sniggers. Sounds like Snart.

“So, uh, yeah. I figured…why not?”

“I’m glad you did,” Mick says.

Barry beams at him.

Mick pulls the car into the parking spot at the best pizza places he knows, then turns and puts his hand on Barry’s cheek.

“I’m real glad you did,” he says again, and pulls Barry in close, wrapping his arms around him the way he’s wanted to ever since Doomworld was destroyed in a bright explosion of the Spear's light.

And this time, he can feel Barry’s blush.

#flashwave #flashwaveweek2017 #barry allen #mick rory #leonard snart #my fic