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blackvortex · 11 months

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Lovesick

— 🧸 Pairing: Lee Taeyong x (F) Reader

— 🧸 Themes: sadistyandere!taeyong, yangire!taeyong, soloartist!taeyong, !fangirlreader

— 🧸 Warning: mentions of death, blood, extreme gore, manipulation, toxic love, stalking, abduction, mental health, etc.

— 🧸 Summary: Lee Taeyong, A very well-known solo artist in his country has a dirty little secret. What was once a longing desire has now reached reality, It was the desire of Inflicting pain and torturing his fans to create all of his musical masterpiece, admiring the faint screams of his name coming from their mouths and enjoying the sheer pain they are suffering from in the hands of himself. Yet, he still had one desire to fulfill, the desire of having you all to himself.

A/N: The themes are altered to match the story. I apologize for the very very very very long wait, feel free to share your suggestions with me regarding about the fic! 'Lovesick' is also available on Wattpad! (wattpad: blackvortexwastaken)

CHAPTER 1: THE ORIGIN

The mysterious origins of the extraordinary luminary, Lee Taeyong, remain veiled in obscurity, as he has steadfastly chosen to withhold any details about his lineage or ancestral heritage, even when prompted by others.

Without a doubt, Taeyong's inclination to safeguard the privacy of his personal life is palpable. However, he does unveil a remarkable facet of his journey, disclosing that prior to embarking on his transformative path as a K-pop trainee, he honed his skills as a talented bartender, achieving mastery in the art of mixology.

After securing a position as a bartender, a newfound fervor surged within Taeyong, igniting an unwavering passion for the realm of idolhood. With relentless determination, he embarked on a quest for knowledge, fully immersing himself in the captivating world of K-pop idol shows. His sole objective was to absorb, analyze, and emulate the most accomplished soloists and adored group members. Diligently, he dissected their captivating presence, studiously examined their graceful movements, and scrutinized every aspect of their performances, leaving no characteristic of a transcendent superstar idol unexplored. Motivated by an indomitable desire to establish himself as an unrivaled idol capable of capturing the world's collective attention, Taeyong pursued his aspirations with unwavering dedication.

Taeyong's effortless triumph during the auditions effortlessly caught the attention of various companies, each fervently pursuing him. However, Taeyong, aware of the tempting offers from other entertainment entities, made a wise decision to join the prestigious SM Entertainment. This choice was influenced by SM Entertainment's esteemed reputation, not only in South Korea but also across the global K-pop landscape. Paired with his remarkable talents, cultivated through unwavering commitment, it was no surprise that his video showcasing his skills as a K-pop trainee rapidly spread, captivating the world's gaze.

Undeniably, Taeyong swiftly ascended to the status of SM Entertainment's favored artist, even prior to his official debut. His soaring popularity led to a plethora of privileges bestowed upon him, surpassing those granted to any other idol within the esteemed establishment at a similar stage of their career. Taeyong received an abundance of guaranteed projects, meticulously tailored to further enhance his renown. Moreover, he was offered the opportunity to debut as a member of SM Entertainment's new boy group, "NCT," obtaining the coveted roles of visual, main rapper, and main dancer. In addition, his journey encompassed a solo debut, amplifying his artistic prowess and individuality.

Upon making his debut as a member of NCT 127, the enigmatic and captivating idol, Lee Taeyong, swiftly became the center of attention. In an instant, his schedule grew exponentially busier, and his name began circulating across various social media platforms, articles, and throughout the vast landscape of the K-pop community. With his alluring beauty and irresistible charm, Taeyong became a prime target for modeling agencies, continuously receiving offers due to his undeniable appeal. Every camera lens and gaze seemed to be fixated upon this exceptional idol, as if the world momentarily paused to revel in his presence. It was indisputable that he held an unparalleled sway over the collective consciousness at that particular moment. Unquestionably, Taeyong reveled in the adoration and eagerly sought every ounce of attention that came his way as time progressed. It became increasingly apparent that he was destined for the stage, a natural-born superstar who is destined to be under the spotlight.

However, akin to many other idols in the expansive world of K-pop, the initial euphoria surrounding Taeyong's debut eventually subsided, leaving behind a sense of disenchantment. It appeared as though his grand entrance had not yielded the remarkable impact that was anticipated. Consequently, the prospect of Taeyong debuting as a soloist, along with his other promotional projects, was regrettably withdrawn by the company, citing a perceived decline in public interest.

Naturally, Taeyong found himself dissatisfied with this turn of events. He steadfastly refused to settle for anything less than what he believed he deserved. While there were still loyal fans who wholeheartedly supported him, he is yearning for greater fame and attention surpassed the fame he had attained during his debut. He craved more, an insatiable desire that led him to contemplate drastic measures, even if it meant sabotaging his fellow group members, all in pursuit of securing the coveted spotlight he so fervently desired.

Despite Taeyong's downfall, he maintained an outward facade, emulating a charm that had long been overshadowed by resentment. He diligently worked with his bandmates, flawlessly recording their latest album, "2 BADDIES," never missing a beat. Following a lengthy lunch break, he returned to the studio only to be met with the gift of fate. The pungent smell of burning wires filled the air, setting off alarm bells in his mind. Hastily, he made his way to the control room, only to find the doorway blocked by the recording equipment. On the other side, his bandmates pounded on the door, their desperate cries mingling with the crackling of flames.

Taeyong called out to them, rushing towards the fallen equipment, instinctively reaching out to save his fellow members, only to abruptly freeze. In that moment, he found himself transfixed. Each breath became a conscious, deliberate act, demanding his full attention, while the distant cries grew faint until they were scarcely audible. Slowly, he stepped back, his realization dawning upon him. They were screaming his name as the flames consumed them. Their desperate pleas echoed in his ears, "Taeyong!" "Lee Taeyong!" "Taeyong!" It was a hauntingly beautiful sound, etching itself into his soul. When the fire fighters finally arrived, his tears flowed freely.

His tears continued to flow unabated, but alongside the sorrow, an unsettling sense of satisfaction began to seep into Taeyong's being. The haunting cries that reverberated with his name brought an unexpected thrill, sending shivers down his spine. Each agonized scream became a twisted symphony in his mind, a perverse melody that he savored with perverse delight. As the echoes of their screams repeated in his thoughts, a morbid idea took hold of him. The notion that he had successfully orchestrated the downfall of his bandmates to create a gaping void for his own fame not only intoxicated him but also sparked a disturbing inspiration within him. It ignited a desire to infuse his music with elements of violence and darkness

CHAPTER 2: TRAGIC TURN OF EVENTS

The tragic news of the untimely demise of nine members from the beloved boy band group NCT 127 reverberated with an unprecedented swiftness. The devastating information spread across the vast expanse of the internet, permeating news outlets and inundating various social media platforms. The collective mourning and outpouring of heartfelt condolences enveloped the entire community, extending solace to the grieving family members and loved ones of the victims. Among the somber aftermath, one member stood as the lone survivor, bearing the weight of unimaginable loss.

As a relatively new fan of NCT, the impact of this harrowing news weighed heavily upon you. Despite just your recent liking of the group, the magnitude of the tragedy stirred within you a profound sense of sadness. Compelled to express your emotions, you sought solace in online forums, joining others in grieving and sharing your condolences during this somber period.

Amidst the overwhelming sorrow, a deep concern for the sole surviving member of the group, Lee Taeyong, gripped your thoughts. You contemplated the immense burden he must be shouldering in the wake of such a tragic event. Driven by a genuine empathy, you tirelessly sought ways to reach out to him online, yearning to offer solace and comfort during this trying time. Utilizing the Bubble app, to which you subscribed, you composed a heartfelt message for Taeyong, hoping to provide a source of support and understanding amid the aftermath of these unfathomable events.

“Taeyong, I am sending my deepest condolences towards you and those who were also affected by this horrid news. I hope you are holding up well and eating a lot, please still take care of yourself and I want to let you know that we are all supporting you and whatever it is that you decide on doing now, we will wholeheartedly support you no matter what. <3”

Sent, 14:34

As the memories of that tragic event resurfaced, it felt as though time had both stood still and raced forward, for it had already been three years since the devastating incident unfolded. The nightmare that had gripped the K-pop community during that period continued to cast its shadow even to this day, a somber reminder of the fragility of life. How you wished it were all a dream, a cruel illusion that could be banished with a simple awakening.

Sighing, you pushed these heavy thoughts aside, diverting your attention to your present reality. You focused on your full-time job as a waitress at a local café, located in close proximity to your residence. As the closing hours approached, you bid farewell to the last customers of the day, offering them warm smiles and well wishes as they departed from Vortex Café. Taking a deep breath, you swiftly embarked on the task of tidying and cleaning the café, eager to complete your responsibilities for the evening.

On your way home, you eagerly reached for your phone in your bag, looking to find any updates regarding Taeyong. Following the tragic event, he had taken a hiatus from the spotlight during those past three years. However, the recent announcement by SM Entertainment declaring Lee Taeyong's official debut as a soloist sent shockwaves of excitement through the internet. The anticipation among fans was palpable, as they rejoiced at the prospect of Taeyong returning to what he was destined to do.

This news brought a sense of joy and relief to you, as you had been diligently saving up to meet him. Being a relatively new fan who joined the fandom shortly after the tragic accident, you had not yet had the opportunity to see the renowned Lee Taeyong in person. The prospect of finally witnessing his presence and experiencing his artistry firsthand filled you with anticipation. Taeyong had become an influential figure in your eyes, and your love for his work was unwavering

CHAPTER 3: MUSICAL MASTERPIECE

A year into his hiatus, Taeyong immersed himself in solitude, utilizing the time to introspect and meticulously plan his upcoming musical endeavors. As he delved into the depths of his creative mind, haunting echoes of the horrified screams from his band members during the fire accident resurfaced with unsettling clarity. The memories lingered, evoking a sinister desire within him. He craved more of those desperate cries, yearning to hear his name chanted in fear once again. The twisted obsession grew, driving him to plot his next move and identify a potential victim to serve as a vessel for his violent ideas. His newfound fixation centered around incorporating these horrified screams into his music, creating an amalgamation of darkness and artistry that blurred the boundaries of conventional expression.

As Taeyong sought solace in his artistic endeavors, he sought refuge in a remote and abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of the city. Its desolation ensured that his forthcoming musical masterpiece, with its unsettling undertones, would remain concealed from prying ears. With meticulous preparation completed, the time had finally arrived for Taeyong to embark on his daring experiment: the fusion of violence and music.

His first target was a persistent sasaeng fan, an individual who had relentlessly pursued him during his hiatus. Acutely aware of this unwelcome presence, Taeyong bided his time, waiting for the opportune moment to take action. Positioned on a bench in a park near his residence, he remained vigilant, keenly observing the sasaeng fan stationed just outside the park, near a bustling bus stop. Clutching a camera adorned with a shoulder strap, the fan deliberately angled it towards Taeyong, capturing his every move. The clarity of her intent was unmistakable, as she persisted despite the passage of numerous buses.

Taeyong stifled a quiet chuckle as he moved leisurely towards his unsuspecting target. "How long are you willing to stay here?" Taeyong's hushed words brushed against her ear. Startled by his sudden presence, the sasaeng leaped in surprise. She gazed intently at the idol before her, struggling to collect herself after the unexpected encounter. "Um... You..." The sasaeng stammered, still shaken by his abrupt approach. "What's the matter? Why are you so taken aback? Did you really believe I wouldn't notice you from a distance?" Taeyong's smile widened as he gradually closed the gap between them. "Would you prefer a change of location? You must be pretty hungry for staying there for too long.” Taeyong continued.

The sasaeng stood motionless in her position, her mind racing with the countless advantages she could reap from this very encounter. If the conversation went smoothly, she might find herself alone with the idol, a cherished fantasy she had nurtured for an extensive duration after years of relentless following.

It was almost as if Taeyong possessed an enchanting aura that bewitched anyone fortunate enough to cross his path. The prospect of accumulating wealth through obtaining his personal information and, perhaps, even acquiring one of his personal possessions tantalized her thoughts. Moreover, an even more gratifying outcome came to her thought, as it could potentially pave the way for further interactions on various occasions with the idol.

As her reverie abruptly dissolved, she found herself transfixed on Taeyong, who had already closed the distance and now stood mere inches away from her presence. Her heart pounded fervently within her chest, its rhythm resounding in her ears, as the sight of the idol before her intensified her emotions. With trepidation, yet undeniable eagerness, she mustered the words, "I would be thrilled to accompany you." A smirk played upon Taeyong's lips, hinting at the burgeoning desires that simmered within him, growing steadily stronger.

Taeyong graciously escorted the sasaeng to his vehicle, courteously opening the passenger-side door for her before proceeding to settle himself in the driver's seat. However, as the car journey commenced, an unsettling turn of events unfolded. Taeyong surreptitiously secured the doors, evoking a sense of entrapment. Suddenly, he swiftly covered the sasaeng's mouth with a handkerchief that had been tampered with a mysterious substance, inducing a gradual descent into unconsciousness.

As her vision dimmed and the world faded into obscurity, the sasaeng valiantly struggled to remove the cloth, her diminishing willpower waning. A haunting image imprinted upon her consciousness: Taeyong's unsettlingly luminous smile, hinting at enigmatic intentions.

Gradually, the sasaeng's consciousness returned, and a surge of anxiety coursed through her as her eyes flinched open, met with a dazzling array of bright lighting equipment aimed directly in her direction. As her awareness fully rekindled, she cautiously surveyed her surroundings, discovering herself ensconced amidst an array of recording equipment. To her dismay, she realized her limbs were securely bound to the chair she occupied, prompting a sense of urgency to escape her precarious predicament.

Just as she mustered the courage to make a frenzied attempt at freedom, her gaze caught sight of Taeyong's silhouette gracefully emerging from a distant hallway. Time seemed to momentarily halt as her gaze fixated on his approach, harboring uncertainty about his intentions and the imminent encounter that awaited her

CHAPTER 4: PLEASED TO MEET YOU

A smile adorned your face as you observed Taeyong's captivating presence on your phone screen. He just released his first music video after 3 years. His charm radiated brightly, surpassing any previous glow, even through the digital realm. However, you couldn't help but notice the stark contrast in his musical style and vibe compared to his time as a member of NCT 127. The current manifestation exuded a darker, more edgy aura.

As the melodic strains resonated, a peculiar addition caught your attention—a backdrop of distant screams harmonizing with the song. Surprisingly, rather than disturbing the experience, these eerie echoes blended seamlessly, enhancing the authenticity of the artistic vision. In fact, you found yourself personally drawn to Taeyong's newfound musical direction, appreciating the boldness and allure it exuded. Thus, you took a moment to express your approval by leaving a like under the video, acknowledging the captivating journey he had embarked upon.

And just as with many other K-pop idols, Taeyong embarked on tours, captivating fans both near and far with his awe-inspiring performances. His popularity soared to new heights after the release of his first full solo album, propelling him to become the center of widespread attention and admiration once more.

After hustling in you full-time job as a waitress, you secured a coveted VIP meet-up reservation with Taeyong following the announcement of his world tour. Being among the first to secure a spot was a stroke of luck, as the demand was immense, evident from the fact that all available slots were swiftly sold out. Taeyong's impact on the world had undeniably reached staggering proportions during this time.

Now, in the present moment, you find yourself in a taxi en route to the restaurant. However, a tide of uncertainty washes over you, causing a flicker of doubt to emerge. Despite your physical preparedness, a sense of apprehension clouds your mind. Taeyong's overwhelming success, remarkable handsomeness, and unparalleled talent have left you feeling somewhat intimidated. The prospect of meeting him suddenly renders you shy and hesitant to attend.

"Ma'am, we have arrived at your destination," the cab driver announces, interrupting your thoughts. Snapping back to reality, you express your gratitude with a soft smile directed at the driver, promptly offering a tip before stepping out of the vehicle.

Tentatively, you made your way into the restaurant, your lingering shyness still present from your contemplations. As you entered, a poised waitress gracefully approached you, her steps purposeful and her presence welcoming.

“Good afternoon, madam. Are you reserving a table?" inquired the waitress, her professional demeanor graced by a warm smile. "Ah, no, I'm here for a VIP meet-up with Taeyong," you replied, reciprocating her smile. Sensing the purpose of your visit, she requested your name, opening a journal awaiting your response. "Y/F/N," you promptly provided. The waitress scanned the pages, seeking your name among the entries. "Ah, Ms. Y/L/N! Welcome to the Vortex Lounge. Please follow me," she cordially invited, guiding you towards the VIP room.

As the waitress led the way, your mind couldn't help but wander, pondering the choice of a restaurant for this meet-and-greet event with Taeyong. Unlike other idols who typically only have a brief encounter with fans, this setting felt more akin to a romantic rendezvous than a traditional idol-to-fan gathering. The notion of a private date with the esteemed Lee Taeyong briefly flattered your imagination, although you remained acutely aware of its unlikelihood. Snapping out of your delusions, you refocused as the waitress halted in front of the VIP room.

"Enjoy your stay. Please refer to the order button on the table if you require anything," the waitress informed you, graciously opening the door. Expressing your gratitude, you bid your farewell to the waitress and stepped into the room, sensing the door gently closing behind you.

An inaudible gasp escaped your lips as your gaze fell upon the solitary figure of Taeyong seated at the table, his eyes fixed upon you as though he had eagerly awaited your arrival for an eternity.

Taeyong gracefully rose from his seat, extending a kind gesture as he pulled out a chair for you. "Please, have a seat," he invited, his smile exuding warmth and hospitality. Grateful for his courtesy, you settled into the chair, feeling a mixture of disbelief and elation as Taeyong resumed his place across from you. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Y/L/N. My name is Lee Taeyong," he introduced himself, his words laced with sincerity.

The reality of Taeyong's presence before you, no longer confined to a phone screen, seemed almost surreal. His physical allure surpassed even your wildest expectations, leaving you awestruck and feeling as if you were living a dream come true. It was as though your eyes were playing tricks on you, unable to fully grasp the extraordinary moment unfolding.

"Likewise, my name is Y/N," you managed to utter, your flustered state growing more apparent with each passing second. Taeyong responded with a gentle smile, attempting to alleviate your nervousness. "Please don't be anxious. I'm just like any other person, really," he reassured you, his politeness shining through. "Feel free to order anything you desire; it's my treat," he graciously continued.

The extraordinary level of fan service offered by Taeyong made you wonder if all the VIP holders were being treated to the same extent. This elevated experience surpassed all expectations, and you couldn't help but feel immensely fortunate to be among the privileged few granted such a remarkable opportunity.

You carefully perused the menu, deliberating over your choice. "A Carbonara will do," you finally decided, sharing your selection with Taeyong. His smile grew wider as he promptly pressed the button to place your order. Soon after, a waiter entered the VIP room to take Taeyong's order, greeting you both with a warm smile. "What can I get you today?" the waiter inquired. Taeyong responded graciously, "Just one serving of Carbonara for this beautiful woman, please." The waiter jotted down Taeyong's order before expressing their intention to bring it promptly. With the waiter's exit, Taeyong's gaze fixated on you once again.

Taeyong's compliment had left you completely flustered; his description of you as beautiful caught you off guard, rendering you momentarily speechless. Frozen in place, you struggled to find an appropriate response, your cheeks tinted with a deep blush. Sensing your flustered state, Taeyong chuckled softly, his amusement evident. Seeking to redirect the conversation and regain your composure, you changed the topic.

"Taeyong... We greatly appreciate your unwavering dedication, particularly in light of the challenges you've faced, including the accident. How are you holding up?" you inquired, earnestly seeking his perspective. Taeyong's expression softened as he responded, weaving a fabricated tale of personal struggle and trauma stemming from the incident. He wiped away his tears, emphasizing the profound impact of his bandmates' tragic passing and how it had left him grappling with profound emotional scars. In reality, he was deceiving you, his mind replaying the haunting screams of his bandmates as they met their agonizing fate.

Filled with remorse for broaching such a sensitive topic, you sincerely apologized to Taeyong, expressing your concern in a gentle tone. The weight of your words weighed heavily on your conscience, and in an effort to alleviate some of the discomfort, you swiftly reached into your bag, retrieving a handcrafted gift. With a warm smile, you extended it towards him, presenting a meticulously made jar adorned with an array of motivational letters nestled within.

"I hope this gift brings you solace during challenging times. Please accept it as a token of my support," you offered, your smile conveying genuine care and empathy. Taeyong's countenance softened further as he reciprocated your gesture, accepting the gift graciously.

In that moment, Taeyong found you endearing. Though your question had touched upon personal territory, he didn't mind sharing his feelings with you. Moreover, he couldn't help but notice the beauty of your voice, envisioning the possibility of incorporating your screams into his musical compositions. Little did you know, Taeyong had already marked you as his next prey, his twisted mind reveling in the prospect of capturing your terror.

TO BE CONTINUED…

A/N: I apologize for stopping early. I just wanted to see if anyone was still going to read ‘Lovesick’ after I halted the release for 2 years TT feel free to make suggestions for the fic <3

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somethingspecial-zennie · 2 years

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TITLE: THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE: PART 5

PAIRING: JEONG JAEHYUN x Y/n

GENRE: Mafia AU, Swearing, Confinement, Forcing, Little Gaslight, Non consent sex, 18+ content.

WORD COUNT: 3.5K

SUMMARY: After you witnessed his real side he knew that you'd never be willing to stay with him. Let alone with him forever. He can never let you leave again, not even in his worst nightmare. So he came up with a way to keep you caged in forever all for himself.

NOTE: Hi there.

I wasn't even sure if I wanted to continue this series. But if you are one of those who was waiting for this part and the upcoming ones then I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart for not updating for so long. 🙏

*Sorry I was kinda in a hurry so I didn't get to proofread. Hope you don't mind :) *

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT AHEAD. Kids under 18 years of age please refrain from reading any further from this point. This kind os stuff is not healthy and should not be appreciated and followed. Hope you will understand. Thank you.

TAGLIST: @ahtisa02 @raven-rin @multistan30 @queenrachelpink @aedreamzy @sunshinedhyuck @cottonniebunnie @carat-017 @gor3rxx @lilacboba@zzhiyeee @sweet-honeywood @yesohhsehun @sibehpoor

LINK FOR PART 1:

LINK FOR PART 2:

LINK FOR PART 3:

LINK FOR PART 4:

He waited till every single soul left the room, leaving you two alone. He turned his gaze towards you, making you feel the unpleasant stare that pierced through your soul. He wanted you to know how much you pissed him off.

"Why do you keep trying to disrespect me infront of everyone?" He asked, pushing his long hair behind his head. You turned your face away looking down at your legs breathing deeply.

"I did not disrespect you." You answered without making eye contact with him, emphasising on the DID NOT part very strongly.

"Yes you did, doll." His hand grabbed you by your arm and you close to him, pinching your chin up with his other hand so you could look into his eyes.

You were taken back by his sudden action. His hands glided down from your arm to your waist slowly yet firmly to make you shiver down your spine.

"Let me go." You said to him as you struggled trying to get his arm around your waist off you.

"Say my name Y/n. Call me." He shushed you, as he waited to hear his name coming out from your lips.

"Come on baby doll, you don't want things to go worse." His voice sounded so inviting and so warm almost like getting you lured into his sweet honey trap.

No.

You shook the thought off you.

"Fuck off Jaehyun." You cursed him under your breath.

"Yeah that's right baby. Say that again." He mumbled as his beautifully sculpted lips came closer to yours. His eyes stopped on your lips, looking at them temptingly. Your eyes caught Jaehyun's stare. He was breathing harshly, his embrace felt warm to you now, almost making you forget everything. His lips landed on yours sweetly.

Is this what they say love is? Forgiving and forgetting every wrong about your significant other?

Wait. No. This is not right, you thought. You pushed him back before you couldn't resist anymore and couldn't let go. He smiled at your feeble effort which couldn't stop him from ravaging you both inside out. He continued digging deep inside your mouth.

Think of something fast, Y/n.

You thought.

You bit his lower lips trying to suppress the urge within you to kiss him back. You felt a strange metal taste slowly pushing in evading the inside of your mouth. He pulled back staring into your eyes. He wiped off the blood that dripped down his lips.

"Why do you always have to test my limits Y/n?" He asked, his arm around you felt more tighter than before. His other hand rested on your right cheek, never breaking that eye contact from you.

You tried walking away from him but his big muscular arms won't let go. His legs followed you as you took your steps back until you couldn't anymore. There were no more steps to be taken.

You back hit the cold end of the room. Your whole spine shuddered by the sudden chillness.

"Why huh?" He asked again.

You had no answers for him. You just stared at him back, looking out of a tiny moment of gap to set yourself free from his grasp.

You wiggled your body as you felt his grip loosened a bit around you but it wasn't enough. He noticed you trying to get away from him.

"Why do you keep running away from me?" His voice didn't sound calm this time.

You pushed him away harder. His eyes looking at you now looked fed up, like they were done with your shenanigans.

"Fucking why Y/n?" He yelled, his hand settling on your throat, choking you down tightly.

His sudden outburst made you lose the last bit of sanity that you have preserved in you. You just couldn't take it silently anymore.

"I hate you."You spitted angrily at him, not knowing well if it was true or if you are just lying to yourself as well.

There was a sudden fire in his eyes the moment he heard those words from you.

He pressed you against the cold surface.

You were looking into his eyes when this happened. You could never unsee it. His eyes, the jewels in his face that you admired the most suddenly made you tremble in fear. The look in his eyes has changed. He looked so different almost like another person arose within himself. His eyes stared at you, they looked starved with beastly desires. Like that of any animal, starving for days, the craving for flesh to devour, a primordial desire to ravish what's laid in front of him.

He pressed his big hand against your belly.

"How about I put a baby in here? Then you won't try to run away." He asked in a very low hoarse voice as he leaned his head on your shoulder.

"Tell me doll? You won't, right?" His breathing was slowly turning heavy. His lips were touching the crook of your neck, deeply inhaling the scent of yours.

All the anger in you melted down into fear. A fear for survival. A fear of prey in front of a predator.

He looked up into your eyes. He looked insane, like a madman who has lost control. Like a man who doesn't care about the world. Everything that matters is right in front of him now and he is never ever going to let go of that. The possessives, the insaneness in his eyes looked limitless.

You looked into his eyes breathing very slowly, you couldn't guess what he was going to do next.

"I guess you agree with it then right?" He said.

You swallowed his words harshly knowing exactly well what he meant by that. He looked at you one last time before turning you around. Now you could see the cold wall that touched you before. It was a mirror. A huge mirror covering the whole side of the wall.

"Do you know why I installed the mirror down here?" He asked in your ears.

You didn't answer. You don't want to know. You don't care. At least this is what you said to yourself.

"So that they could see themselves. See their true selves. To see themselves terrified, begging, crying. To make them see the sides of themselves they didn't know existed." He whispered each word into your ear slowly. You couldn't figure out if it was a threat to you or if it was not. His hand around your belly travelled behind upto your back. He then grabbed the back of your dress and tore it off you. You could hear the tearing sound of the fabric ringing in your head. The dress that was barely covering you now fell on the ground letting the last shards of dignity you had fall down with it.

You felt exposed. It felt like you don't belong to yourself anymore. The dress fell down your body revealing nothing but your panty. You were wearing a red lace g string with black border. Yara picked it up for you. Wearing anything else would've been no different at all. Everything you wore here was sexy, provocative like some stripper in a club.

You closed your eyes as you looked away. Your hands rushed to cover your bare chest but he was fast enough to stop you.

"Do you want to see your true self doll?" You slowly opened your eyes, clenching your jaw tightly. He stood behind you, holding you back. His large body towered over yours, making you look like a tiny prey in front of a ferociously furious predator who is hungry for you.

"Look at yourself baby." He said sharply, as his fingers pulled your jaw until you met your own eyes in the mirror.

He pressed his body closer to you, his huge body hovering behind your fragile, little one. His fingers ran on your lips, ever so softly touching them, feeling them. You flinched a little as you saw his hand approaching you. He barely noticed that his eyes were buried in your lips, relishing their presence. Even though it was only his reflection, you could see the passion in them. The crazy drive in his eyes could lead him wherever he wants to be.

"Do you even know the face that you make every time you are in front of me?" He whispered breathily, his lips lingering close to your ears.

You looked at yourself, your whole face was flushed. The tints of red and pink scattered all over your visage. Those reflections of your eyes in the mirror, you couldn't recognize them. How could you make such a face when you thought you disliked even the thought of being in the same room with him. Those eyes, that craving look in your face, how can it be yours?

"Tell me how could I control myself when you are like this in front of me?" His raspy breathless voice twisted your stomach.

You clenched your teeth, trying not to make any sound. You cannot believe in yourself. How could this turn you on so bad? He did nothing to you but give you some sweet whispers. The way his hands moved over your body, you know you lost. You rubbed your thighs against each other hoping he wouldn't notice. You struggled to not whimper as you felt warm touches on your ears.

His fingers ran down to your bare breasts. His fingers made you feel cold, giving you internal shivers. You don't like this feeling, the feeling that makes you crave for him more.

"Mhmm so fucking pretty." He moaned softly behind your ears, nibbling your lobe as he spoke. His body pressed you from behind against his own body letting you feel his growing hard dick. His long seductive fingers grasped one of your boobs, kneading it as he pleased. His finger rested on your now stiffened dark bud.

Mhmm. You muffled your moan leaning back against him trying hard to suppress the growing wetness between your legs.

"Open your mouth sweetheart." He whispered.

Once again you're in front of him, bare, with all your true self revealed to him and yet he didn't let you see a glance of himself, making you feel powerless. You looked down, you couldn't look at yourself. What has become of you now? Standing naked in front of a madman who looked like he could devour all of you.

"No doll. You're going to look at yourself and see exactly how you act like a little whore in heat in front of me." His heavy voice made you look back again in the mirror at yourself.

You knew that look on your face. You couldn't hide it. Not from him. He knew it, long before you could have ever known. You have seen his eyes following you. He knows every bit of you better than you do about yourself.

"Don't call me that." You said with as much strength as you could muster. It was hard for you to swallow him like this. He has always been the perfect, gentleman-like figure to you.

You pushed his hand away from your chest, trying the last attempt to protect yourself from him. That feeble attempt could hardly move him an inch.

"Why babydoll? Haven't you been craving for me all these times, dying to have your hands all over me. You thought I didn't know that?" His soft cold lips now touched the crook of your neck. His hot tongue licked the beads of sweats flowing down your neck. The feeling of him over your skin churned your stomach. You couldn't deny him. His mere little touches could do things to you. You hated yourself for being this much affected by him. You hated it. You clenched your jaw tightly. Taking a deep breath you shut your eyes.

"I fucking hate it." You said coldly, desperately hoping you sounded the way you wanted it to sound like.

"Whaa...

Before he could continue you turned yourself back facing him, staring into his eyes with contempt as you carefully decided your next words.

"I hate it. Every single of your touch on my skin. Every breath of yours, I hate it." You said spitefully, glaring right in his eyes.

The words that came out of your mouth pierced through his soul. He looked at you, his eyes burning red.

A part of you regretted letting those words out of your mouth. You held your breath close hoping he'll just let you go.

Your eyes saw his thick full lips curving into a deep mysterious smirk that made you nervous and unsure about the words that you just spoke.

"Is it the truth babydoll?" He asked gently but something in his demeanor told you that this isn't what he is feeling inside right now. His arm coiled around your waist giving you no chance to wiggle away from him.

You gulped down your own saliva, thinking of an answer.

"Mhm doll? Shall we check what your body says about it?" His other hand travelled down, you could trace the sensation of his rough fingers even without looking down.

Your lower body twitched, feeling his cold touches running down exactly where you don't want them to be.

His fingers pulled down the hem of your panty, his fingers sliding down sensually as they descended slowly burning a fire within yourself. The reality you feared is right in front of you.

His worned out rough fingertips touched you down there meeting the wetness that you've been pooling for a while now.

Mhmm.

You breathed deeply, biting your lips as hard as you could to stop yourself from moaning out loud. Your hands on his shoulders gripped him tightly as you wiggled to get his fingers away from your wet leaking pussy.

He didn't stop there, he continued pushing his fingers deeper just to see you wiggle harder.

Your tensed face gave it all. All the pleasure he wanted. Your nails dig into his skin getting painted by the crimson hue of his blood.

Your whole body convulsed in mad arousal badly unwilling to follow your sheer determination to be unaffected by his sudden intrusion inside of you.

"See doll. So fucking wet. All for me." He didn't even look down, he knew exactly how he was affecting you. Even though you want to deny him your own body is acting like it has its own will, a will to be completely toyed and destroyed by him.

His eyes were on you, enjoying the distress view on your face. Your troubled face met his hot breath as he came closer to yours leaning in for a kiss.

The smell of cigarettes lingered inside of his mouth. His tongue barged in fiercely demanding the right over every inch of your mouth that he has been waiting patiently for so long till now.

You pulled away from him breathing heavily as he deprived you from all of your oxygen.

"Stop it." You gasped, your hands could barely keep him away from you.

"Stop? Why are you lying to yourself babydoll? Did you see how wet you got by my slightest touch just like a bitch in heat." He said, breathing the air around you. His face was still close to you, like he just stopped to catch a breath before going back again to devour you again.

Your eyes widened when you heard him calling you a bitch. Deep inside you were shocked, hurt by his choice of words for you. He wasn't like this before.

"What?" You exclaimed in disbelief, your hands raised by itself sharply landing a tight slap on his face. You didn't regret it though.

He looked at you and hissed.

"What did I say so wrong Y/n? You're dripping like a fucking whore that you are." He challenged you, grabbing both of your hands so that you couldn't slap him anymore.

But your hands weren't the only way to reciprocate his provocation.

You spit on his face with all your might that you could have with your feeble body.

"You're a whore Y/n. You're my fucking whore." He smirked menacingly looking at you before his lips crashed on yours again. You could taste your own saliva that he intentionally pushed inside of your mouth. Making you taste yourself.

His one hand pinned both of your hands above your head. His other hand travelled down once again. Your whole body trembled in shivers just by the thought of him going down exposing each and every dark secret of yours.

You suddenly hear the sound of something getting torn down. You looked down, before you could realize anything you saw the g string that you were wearing earlier is now on the ground torn in one go.

"And I know exactly how to satisfy a whore." Something in his voice told you he isn't going to stop. He wasn't bluffing. You hear him unbuckling his belt. A part of you got paralyzed from inside, stuck with the situation you are in now. The reality is hitting you even harder now.

"No. Don't." You gasped very softly, as if you had lost all of your energy.

"Why doll? You're going to bear my child. And you're going to live with me forever." His lips lingering near your ears made sure that you heard each of his words clearly.

"Please." You begged almost inaudible to anyone except for you.

"You'll be the mother of our child Y/n. You can never leave me." His eyes looked unreal. He looked like a man who knew nothing but lust. His eyes burned with desire to possess what he believes is his.

He took out his hard cock dripping with his man arousal. He pumped his shaft a few times, lubricating his dick with his own precum before pressing it against your pussy entrance. The sudden touch felt like a gallon of electricity passing through your body. You could feel every inch of your body clenching tightly to brace the inevitable.

"I'll fill this little cunt of yours with my cum so much that it'll drip down your thighs every time you walk." His slow raspy voice lingered in your ears as he thrusted his thick dick deep inside of you. Thrust after thrust. Slowing engulfing himself within you.

"Mhmm.. Every. Fucking. Day. Y/n." He moaned silently looking into your eyes as he rammed his huge cock inside of you. His firm hand fixed on your waist made sure that even if you tried to wiggle out you couldn't get out.

Your body wasn't listening to you anymore. Your walls clenched around his dick tightly, begging him to go deeper. Your lips almost bleed by how hard you were trying to suppress your moan.

You looked in his eyes begging him to let you go, hoping that maybe, just a little, maybe that he might feel pity for you.

"You cannot leave me." He said very clearly, looking into your eyes making sure that it is etched deep into your heart.

The sweat beads dripping down from both of your bodies entangled in each other's scent as your entwined bodies pressed against each other.

"Say yes doll. Say that you won't leave me." His lips were touching yours rubbing together with each of his thrust.

You didn't answer. Honestly you couldn't, you were too drained to actually say something out of your mouth.

The absence of any response from you only made him more determined.

"Fine then. I'll fuck you so hard that you couldn't even walk." He said, sounding pissed. His breathing was getting heavier. He rested his wet face on yours, his lips harshly sucking onto yours. His thrusts were getting slower, almost nearing his orgasm.

"I was patient. I waited for you Y/n. But you wanted to leave. It's all your fault. Why did you leave?" He breathily asked you. He sounded desperate. Conflicted. Like he hated you for leaving but he cannot hate you enough to let you go.

"It's..it's…all …your..ur..f.. fault." He repeated again. He bit your lips letting you know his displeasure.

He was nearing his orgasm. He let go of your hands, holding your waist between both of his arms securely so that every little bit of his cum gets fucked inside your tight pussy.

"Uhm..hmmm ba..baby." He moaned with hoarseness set in his voice.

"I'll make sure to put every single drop of my seed inside of your cunt." With his thrust getting sloppier, his grip around your waist felt tighter.

"Our baby will be perfect." He whispered as he approached his end.

"Y/n. Mmm… Y/n." His face grimaced painfully as he came inside of you.

You could feel his cum filling you. You close your eyes shut hoping that this is to end. You cannot take it anymore. Your legs felt like jelly. Your brain has gone blank for a while now. You breathed heavily as he pulled back from you.

The next thing you realized.

You had already collapsed in his arms.

P.S - 🙏

Hope you doing well.😊

Let me know if you guys want me to continue this series or should I move on to a new one?

And anyone who want to get added in the taglist please let me know.

Take Care Luvs💚

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melsvt · 2 years

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⌗ kim doyoung x f!reader

⌗ summary: kim doyoung, is yonsei's most successful student with a bright feature and a lover, everything looks fine but at the same time it's all in a different reality.

⌗ genre: fluff, angst, unistudent!doyoung, unistudent!reader

⌗ featuring: kim doyoung

⌗ warnings: unwanted marriage

⌗ wc: 896

[04.44]

“Words they always win, but i know i’ll lose”

Doyoung was one of the most successful, talented students at the university where he studied. With those loving gazes coming out of his eyes, he looked at his lover sitting next to him, whose head was buried in her book..

"Don't look at me like that, like I'm living my last days on this earth" Yn knew from the beginning that Doyoung was looking at her because he wasn't very good at this kind of 'secret stuff'.

"I'm sorry, but you look so beautiful when i look at you from here" Yn was content to smile. Yn still had a lot of classes to study, and the finals week was approaching, but she was killing time sitting here with her boyfriend in one of the secluded corners of the library.

Yes, reading books was a time-killing activity for Yn. "Won't you reciprocate my compliment?" Doyoung was a little more tucked into the bottom of the Yn as if it were possible. Yn had finally lifted her head from the book and looked at Doyoung.

"I won't reciprocate your compliment if you keep looking at me like that, and also, you're so close right now."

Yn often distanced herself from certain things, and hated herself because of this, but it was something that came from her childhood. Close contact with people overwhelmed her, so Yn swore to herself that she would 'never find a lover'.

But isn't the world like that? You find yourself in the middle of that hole even though you said ‘I won't do it anymore’. She’s in that hole that goes between doing it or not. Yn was a face-low on all the decisions she made about what could happen at most.

"Yn, you're so resentful. Did something happen?"

She shook her head with Doyoung's question. Her cheeks were then trapped by Doyoung's soft hands. "Are you sure?"

Her cheeks swelled as Doyoung squeezed them, and Yn barely shook her head once more. "You're so cute right now.”

"Thank you, you look like a monster from here" Doyoung smiled at Yn's joking compliment and put a small kiss on her lips. Yn remained motionless where she was with the shock.

Doyoung had stepped back and turned towards the table. Although he wanted to spend 'cute' times with his girlfriend, he still had an educational life to continue and a family legacy that eventually awaited him.

"Hey you!" Yn had hit Doyoung's arm in anger. The sound that reached Yn with the murmur "Hmm?" raised her nerve quotient a little more. "How many more times do I have to tell you this? I hate your sudden kisses. Especially for doing these things in such a messy area! Also-“

When Yn's voice began to harass Doyoung and the other library students, Doyoung silenced her by giving her a small kiss on the lips, once more. Then, taking advantage of Yn's surprise, he approached to her ear.

"If you don't like me doing things like this out there, we can keep it at home" Doyoung's ear-scratching breath and thick voice gave her a Goosebumps, of course, that had nothing to do with Doyoung's expressive voice.

"I have nothing to say to you" She turned in front of her, closed her book, and took a few more sips of her coffee. Then she headed towards her books, but with the sudden notice, she stopped and opened her eyes.

The view she saw this time wasn't Doyoung or the books on the table, it was the ceilings of her bedroom. She got up with a blanket on and stood in bed for a few minutes.

Why was she even seeing him in her dream? Between thoughts, she retreated to bed thanks to the hands reaching the back of the T-shirt she was wearing as she watched the wall. "What happened, did you have a bad dream?"

She looked at Doyoung, who had messy hair and his eyes half open. "No, I just saw an old memory. It was meaningless"

The fact that this was no longer their relationship hurt her heart. With each passing night, she was filled with dreams full of old memories. She didn't see them as a nightmare, it just hurt that their lives were no longer like this.

This time her body was pulled towards the builted body with the hand wrapped around her waist. He would only treat her like a good, beautiful, and real wife when something blewed on his head. She closed her eyes and wished the moment would last even longer, burying her head in Doyoung's chest, which smelled of lavender.

"I know what you saw in your dream, Yn"

With the sound, Yn took a deep breath, pretending she hadn't heard, as if she had fallen asleep again. She secretly wanted to listen to him.

"I wish we could go back to the old times." Yn shook her head slightly. Doyoung smiled at the moving head on his chest and left a kiss between her hair.

He knew that Yn wasn't sleeping, secretly watching him at night and being told, because that's what he was also doing in between. He was watching her sleeping face and saying to himself. That he didn't want it to be like that, but that he had to do certain things.

⌗ a/n: well, i was going to write this story as gender neutral reader but i don't know how should i use the pronouns because in my language there's only "O" (it's turkish btw) so can someone tell me how can i use the pronounses because i really wanna do a gender neutral reader.. and also is there anyone who liked to read a part two? i feel like i just left it in the middle..

#nct #nct 127 #nct ff #nct fluff #nct angst #nct au #nct 127 doyoung #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 angst #nct 127 ff #doyoung #doyoung fluff #doyoung angst #doyoung ff #doyoung au #abbysepiphany's timestamps

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ohmygs-blog · 1 month

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boyfriend haechan.

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cigarettesaftersuh · 5 days

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bf jaehyun ii.

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leejenowrld · 1 month

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soft and slow sex with - nct dream reactions

soft and slow sex with mark is characterized by a deep sense of emotional connection and mutual trust. he values the intimacy and vulnerability shared between you, savoring each moment of closeness and affection. mark's touches are gentle and reassuring, as he seeks to provide you with comfort and pleasure throughout the lovemaking. he enjoys exploring your body with tenderness and care, focusing on creating a sense of harmony and unity between you. with mark, soft and slow sex is a celebration of love and intimacy, a sacred bond shared between two souls deeply connected to each other.

mark's voice is a soft whisper against your skin as he trails kisses along your neck. “i love you,” he murmurs, his words filled with sincerity and warmth. you can feel the love in every touch, every caress, as he cherishes the connection between you. his movements are slow and deliberate, his hands exploring your body with gentle reverence. “you mean everything to me,” he whispers, his breath mingling with yours as he holds you close. with mark, soft and slow sex is more than just physical pleasure—it's a beautiful expression of love and devotion, a testament to the depth of your bond.

soft and slow sex with renjun is characterized by tender affection and gentle intimacy. he enjoys taking his time to explore you, savoring each moment of closeness and connection. renjun's touches are gentle and loving, as he focuses on providing you with pleasure and ensuring you feel cherished and adored throughout the experience. his movements are unhurried and deliberate, allowing both of you to fully immerse yourselves in the sensations and emotions of the moment.

“you're so beautiful,” renjun whispers, his voice barely above a breath as he presses soft kisses along your collarbone. "i love you more than words can express." his words are filled with genuine affection, each syllable carrying the weight of his emotions. as he trails his fingertips along your skin, he gazes into your eyes with adoration, his gaze filled with warmth and tenderness. "you mean everything to me," he murmurs, his lips grazing yours in a gentle kiss. with renjun, soft and slow sex is more than just physical—it's a soulful connection, a shared moment of love and intimacy that transcends the physical realm.

soft and slow sex with jeno is a deeply intimate and sensual experience. he relishes the opportunity to express his love and desire for you through unhurried and passionate lovemaking. jeno's touches are tender yet purposeful, as he explores you with reverence and adoration. he enjoys creating a sense of anticipation and longing, teasing and tantalizing you with slow and deliberate movements that build to a crescendo of pleasure and intimacy. with jeno, every moment is savored and cherished, as he seeks to create lasting memories of love and connection with you.

"you're my everything," jeno whispers, his voice a tender melody in the quiet intimacy of the moment. his hands caress your skin with a gentle touch, each stroke igniting a spark of desire within you. "i love every moment with you," he confesses, his breath warm against your ear as he pulls you closer. with each word, each touch, you feel his love surrounding you, wrapping you in a cocoon of affection and passion. as you melt into his embrace, the world fades away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the sweet ecstasy of your connection. with jeno, soft and slow sex becomes a symphony of love, a delicate dance of souls intertwined in blissful harmony.

soft and vanilla intimate sex with donghyuck is a delicate dance of passion and tenderness. his touch is gentle yet electrifying, sending shivers down your spine as you lose yourself in the warmth of his embrace. as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear, his words carry a sense of longing and devotion that fills you with a deep sense of intimacy.

"i adore you," he murmurs against your skin, his breath warm against your neck. you feel a rush of affection wash over you, overwhelmed by the depth of his love and affection. with each loving caress, donghyuck communicates his desire to make you feel cherished and adored, his touch a gentle reminder of the bond that binds you together. in his arms, soft and vanilla sex becomes a sacred expression of your love, a testament to the unbreakable connection you share.

soft and vanilla intimate sex with jaemin is like being wrapped in a warm embrace, every touch and caress filled with tenderness and affection. he cherishes every moment spent with you, savoring the intimacy and connection that blooms between you. as his lips meet yours in soft, sweet kisses, you feel a sense of tranquility wash over you, melting into his embrace with ease.

"i love you," he whispers against your lips, his voice filled with sincerity and adoration. you return his affectionate gaze, feeling a surge of warmth in your heart as you bask in the depth of his love. with each gentle movement, he communicates his desire to make you feel cherished and loved, his touch igniting a spark of passion that burns slowly and steadily between you. in jaemin’s strong arms, soft and vanilla sex becomes a beautiful expression of the profound bond you share, a testament to the depth of your love and connection.

for chenle, soft and slow sex is all about emotional connection and romantic intimacy. he values the closeness and affection shared between you, savoring every touch and caress exchanged. chenle's lovemaking is tender and attentive, as he focuses on expressing his love and devotion through each gentle movement and gesture. he enjoys whispering sweet words of affection and admiration to you, creating an atmosphere of warmth and tenderness that enhances your connection and deepens your bond.

"i adore you," chenle murmurs softly as he traces patterns along your skin, his touch sending shivers down your spine. "you're so beautiful, so precious to me," he adds, his voice laced with genuine affection. you feel a warmth spread through you at his words, knowing they come from the depths of his heart. with each tender caress, he reaffirms his love for you, creating an intimate space where only your connection matters. in this moment, there is nothing but the two of you, lost in the embrace of love and desire.

soft and slow sex with jisung is a tender and affectionate experience filled with warmth and intimacy. he values the emotional connection and closeness shared between you, cherishing each moment spent in your arms. jisung's lovemaking is gentle and attentive, as he seeks to express his love and devotion through every touch and caress. he enjoys exploring your body with tender affection, eliciting soft sighs and whispers of pleasure from your lips. jisung's movements are slow and deliberate, allowing both of you to fully immerse yourselves in the sensations of the moment. with jisung, soft and slow sex is a beautiful expression of love and intimacy, a precious gift shared between two souls deeply in love with each other.

"i love you," jisung whispers against your skin, his breath warm against your neck as he holds you close. "more than anything in this world," he adds, his voice filled with sincerity and adoration. you feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, overwhelmed by the depth of his love for you. "you mean everything to me," he continues, peppering soft kisses along your jawline. you melt into his embrace, feeling cherished and valued beyond measure. in this moment, there is only the two of you, bound together by a love that knows no bounds.

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luvkyu · 8 days

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my love, i still ( mark lee )

mark x male reader

someone from mark's past makes a quiet return.

content : 1.5k words, angst, kinda fluff at the end ??, idol!mark, manager!reader, ex-relationship, reader mentioned with a facial piercing, also features a little riize !!

( a/n ) this is song inspired :D from my love, i still by i'll <3 i was gonna make this heart wrenching angst but i got stuck with the ending so i changed it and it actually ends somewhat happy now. thinking about a part two, we'll see.

"did you guys hear y/n's back in town?" jaemin asked, looking around at his group members.

"yeah. i don't know if he's working here again though," donghyuck answered.

the few of them were currently stretching and warming up before dance practice. only mark, renjun, and jisung were missing among them.

"i hope he is," jeno said, "i miss him."

"if he is working here again, he probably won't work much with us."

"i heard he's gonna be working with riize," chenle said, making the others' heads turn instantly.

"oh shit, really?"

chenle nodded, "that's what shotaro told me and jisung the other day. he's supposed to start as their manager today i think."

"i wonder if mark knows," jaemin muttered.

"if i know what?" mark questioned as he entered the studio with renjun and jisung in tow.

the others freezed, a bit uncomfortable now. mark and y/n's break up wasn't an easy subject, not when everyone knew mark was still not over him.

mark's brows furrowed at the sudden silence of his members. he looked around, waiting for some kind of answer.

"..if you know that y/n's back," jeno finally replied.

mark stopped for just a slight second before shrugging his bag off his shoulder and acting as if it didn't matter.

"yeah, i know."

the other dreamies looked around at each other. mark always got quiet and sulky when y/n's name was brought up, which is why they tried to avoid it most of the time.

"and you're okay?" jisung spoke up.

mark looked at him, smiled unconvincingly, and pat his head. "of course i'm okay," he assured. "now let's start practice."

"do you guys wanna go down to the cafe before heading back to the dorm?" jeno asked.

as everyone agreed on the idea, they began bee lining down the hall toward the elevator.

"oh shit," donghyuck mumbled. mark looked up from his phone as he walked, moving his gaze to where donghyuck's was.

the elevator opened on their floor to reveal a couple workers, including y/n. he had his phone to his ear with furrowed brows while clutching some papers, clearly distressed. when he saw the dream members now in front of him, his eyes widened and his body stood still for a split second. but he had to keep up with his rushing coworkers. y/n gave the group a small bow and a gentle smile as he kept walking and speaking on his phone.

mark felt as if his heart plummeted to his stomach. he wasn't prepared to see y/n out of nowhere, but he couldn't stop his eyes from following him. y/n looked different after the year that had passed. his hair was back to it's natural color instead of dyed, and he had a piercing added to his face now.

"what if i kidnap him," jeno whispered.

"shut up," renjun snickered, filing into the elevator with the others.

"i miss him," jeno whined. "best manager we've had, hands down."

mark smiled to himself bittersweetly. jeno wasn't wrong. y/n cared about all of them more than anyone had. after their first few months as group and manager, he and mark grew much closer than they should've. but once other staff started to find out, y/n's position as their manager slowly fell apart. he resigned quietly after he and mark ended things. y/n was offered a position in japan for a year instead, which he took in high hopes of healing.

"actually guys, i'm just gonna go back to the dorm. i want a nap."

"are you sure? i can come with you," jaemin offered with a small frown. mark smiled and shook his head.

"pretty sure napping is a one-person job, jaem. i'll just see you guys later."

jaemin frowned as they all watched mark press a separate button on the elevator.

"it's a two-person job if you're doing it right.." jaemin muttered.

donghyuck sighed and flicked his head, "do you ever shut up?"

"no, not really."

a couple weeks passed and mark had yet to see y/n for more than two-second intervals, let alone talk to him at all. he wasn't telling anyone how much it hurt him to see y/n around the sm building and not speak to him at all.

mark adjusted his earbuds into his ears as he walked. he could feel the sore muscles in his legs after a very long practice in anticipation for dream's next comeback. he was planning on going straight home, taking a long bath, and going to bed.

he pressed play on his phone, hearing the music begin to flood his ears. he was on his way outside when he stopped and saw some familiar faces by the company's vans.

riize was outside, filing into the vehicle with y/n leading them. they seemed to be goofing around, lots of smiles and distant laughter. mark could see y/n patting a couple of their heads as if he was counting to make sure he had all his children. sohee was the last to climb into the van, giving y/n a small hug before settling in next to anton. y/n smiled at his cuteness and walked around to the driver's side. before mark knew it, the van was out of sight, and he was staring at nothing.

mark cleared his throat and stared at the ground now. his chest felt heavy. he didn't know how much longer he could keep doing this.

"you okay?"

mark jumped at the voice beside him now. he took one of his earbuds out and looked over at jeno.

"i'm fine."

"hm," jeno hummed. he didn't believe mark at all, but he decided not to push it. "c'mon. let's go home."

a few hours went by, and now mark was sitting outside looking blankly at his phone. when he got home, he ate dinner and took a hot bath. neither of those things seemed to matter much though. nothing really did anymore.

it felt like time was standing still as he stared at the screen beneath him. his finger hovered over the call button of y/n's new phone number that he'd asked shotaro to send him. he didn't want to make things difficult for y/n by calling him, but he felt like he desperately needed to finally talk with him. he didn't know if he was looking for closure or another chance with y/n. maybe he'd know once they finally exchanged some words.

mark closed his eyes and quickly pressed his thumb against the screen. lifting the phone to his ear, he waited.

"..."

"hello?"

mark gulped. he hadn't planned on what to say, but now that he heard y/n's voice, his heart sank. a couple tears that had built up over the last few minutes finally trickled down his cheeks.

"..hello?" y/n said again.

"y/n?" mark's voice was barely audible. he knew y/n heard him though, he could tell by the way it stayed quiet for a moment on the other line.

"mark?"

"please, let's talk." mark could hear the other take a deep breath.

"okay.. what about?"

"i don't know. anything. i can't keep pretending like i don't know you when i see you around work. i can't-" mark went silent for a couple seconds, "i can't do this anymore."

y/n didn't know how to respond. he felt his throat begin to close up as he fought his own tears.

"i'm sorry.. i wasn't sure if i should talk to you guys at work."

"you can. please do. the others miss you a lot."

"really?"

mark could hear the smile in y/n's voice now. it lightened his mood a little bit.

"yeah. jeno wants to kidnap you i think."

"not surprising."

the pair laughed together before it went quiet again.

"y/n?"

"hm?"

"could we grab a coffee together sometime or something?"

"you don't drink coffee, mark."

"i'll just watch you drink it then."

y/n chuckled and inhaled as if he was accepting some huge offer.

"sure. we can get coffee."

"great," mark replied happily. y/n could tell mark sounded relieved; it made his smile linger a little longer on his lips.

"and, um," mark began again, "i know things have been off with us. but i just want you to know that i still care about you a lot. nothing's ever gonna change my love for you."

y/n looked down at his hands and cleared his throat. he didn't want his voice to give away the fact that he was two seconds away from crying. the soft and sincere tone of mark's voice didn't make it any easier, either.

"that's actually really comforting to hear. i love you too, mark."

mark smiled and let out a long exhale.

"okay well i'll let you get some rest, i know it's late. sleep well tonight, and i'll see you later."

"okay. g'night."

"night." mark's grin continued to tug at his lips. he gently tossed his phone aside and rubbed his face. a weight had just been lifted from his shoulders, he felt like he could breathe for the first time in a while.

"thank you, y/n." he whispered softly.

taglist ★! :

@kssyivo @jaemmphilia @vkooksupremacy @haocovr @astrozuya @themiddlefingerinthesky @dontwannaexsist

#kpop x male reader #male reader #nct x male reader #nct x reader #nct dream #nct #nct dream x male reader #nct fanfic #nct ff #nct fluff #nct 127 #nct 127 x reader #nct mark #mark lee #mark #mark x reader #mark x male reader #nct angst

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yrqrnc · 4 months

Text

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader

genre: fluff, domestic relationship

word count: n/a

summary: wherein, it’s a late afternoon and you’re watching your favorite series with your dearest boyfriend as you cuddle on the couch, but it seems that it’s physically impossible for you to keep your attention fixed on the large monitor in front of you, and not him.

the tv playing in the background starts to feel like white noises and slowly fades off into the void as your gaze stays fixed on donghyuck. his eyes are focused on the screen in front of him, but you find that you’re unable to tear yours away from his figure. his face glistens in the dim light, and the golden light radiating off of the sun that’s currently putting itself to sleep now comes in through the windows and reflects the room around you in a soft orange glow.

so this is what they call the golden hour, it hits you.

if there’s one thing that you’ve realized in these years of dating hyuck, it is that, whenever you’re with him, time seems to go by so fast—that it becomes a blur, something that falls in between the lines, something that fades off in the background, something that doesn’t matter. what really matters, every time, is him, and only him.

you remember the time you told him that, using weak, broken constellations of words that didn’t—and could never—live up to the actual intimate emotion you felt for him. and he’d teased you, gushed endlessly about how deeply in love you were with him, and you’d huffed at his antics, but never once did you try to say a word against it. because he was right, after all. you were in love with him, deeply, more than you ever would’ve thought was possible.

and that day, despite his playful reaction, you hadn’t missed the way he’d smiled at you adoringly when he thought you weren’t watching and kept a close hold on you for the rest of the day.

his attempt to cover up actions like that with teasing and play-fighting was adorable, you’d always thought.

even now, you smile at him playfully as he looks down at you, looking away from the tv and at you for once, with a slight smirk on his face, his tone light in the air as he laughs out a “can’t take your eyes off me, right? even with your favorite show on the screen?”

and the smug in his tone is annoying to the very core, but you can’t even find anything to say against his teasing. he is right anyway, though you would never admit that to his face. even with your favorite characters and plot unraveling right there in front of you, all your attention was on him, on lee donghyuck. this man, whom you see almost everyday, whom you text and facetime so regularly, whose features you have memorised and admired too many times to count.

you should’ve been so used to him and being with him at this point, but somehow, you still could never look away.

is this obsession? is this love? is this you going back to those high-school teenage type of crush? is it a mix of everything above, or is it something that is completely something else?

who knows? and who cares, honestly?

how could you, when you had lee donghyuck existing, and loving you, right in front of your eyes, and you now believed that watching him was better than watching any movie or series that you had ever been addicted to.

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yongility · 11 days

Text

NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 3/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

word count: +10k?

a/n: I’m sorry this took too long to post!! 😭😭 but I been so busy with college rn, I’m going to graduate this year so I’m like having a lot of work lately, and I wasn’t satisfied with what I was writing so that was the reason it took longer than expected, sorry!

I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind l had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.

I'm sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it's because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N's life is before they get together! So pls pls don't skip anything I hope you like it!

if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!

The third day of the week arrived promptly, where (Y/N) found herself comfortably seated in one of the library chairs, with her chemistry books scattered on the table in front of her as she studied for the exams she had coming up, with Jungwoo beside her.

It was becoming her routine for the week; after last Friday's party, what she most desired was to avoid being at home, especially after having an argument with her mother when she returned from the party.

She didn't want to deal with her in a good time.

Annoyed that her mother had thought it was a great idea to take away her right to use her own car as punishment for disobeying her that night and leaving the house... staying in the library seemed the most pleasant option; with silence, able to listen to music through her AirPods, without her mother bothering her every five minutes and being able to review what she had learned in her last classes: it was something she could take advantage of. She took a sip of her vanilla latte, which had been sponsored by Jungwoo, who, in an attempt to apologize for abandoning her in that way during last Friday's party, promised to pay for each of her daily drinks for a week and a half, no matter the cost.

And even though (Y/N) could afford that or even triple, she was still happy about it. Gifted things tasted even better anyway.

Of course, she first gave Jungwoo a -no- beating after telling him everything that had happened during his absence, but still, she appreciated that her friend was okay even though she hadn't heard anything from him until Saturday night.

During these last few days, with a new routine, (Y/N) was almost always in the same places, at the same times, and if she was honest, she was surprised not to have bumped into Jung Jaehyun at any moment.

It was weird; she would normally see him somewhere around the school, either accompanied by Lucas or just sitting on one of the benches while smoking his 'n' cigarette of the day. But simply, since Friday, she hadn't heard anything from him... she hadn't even bumped into Lucas, which increased the level of strangeness, considering he was a social butterfly, he was always around. (Y/N) had been aware of her words after Jaehyun had taken her home: she could no longer continue with whatever deal they had, with all the stress of her own tasks and knowing that no matter what she did, her cousin wouldn't give up his addictions, it was best to give up.

Although it would hurt her soul to know that there was no way to help Daeho.

But thinking about it, she didn't know if she had really been sincere about each going their own way... apparently Jaehyun had taken it very seriously to not show up anywhere, and although (Y/N) knew very well that being close to him didn't bring her anything good... his presence hadn't been so bothersome in the last few days. Really, after sharing a few words and spending more time with him, she couldn't say that she disliked his existence. It was funny if you asked the (Y/N) from a month ago, there would be no way she could have imagined that, somehow, she would be related to none other than Jung Jaehyun, who, on the outside, just seemed to be one more problem.

She tried to stop thinking about it and tried to focus her gaze on the book in front of her, but after a few minutes... it was difficult for her. There was something inside her that made her feel uneasy but she couldn't think what it was.

"There’s a race in Kosmo today" her best friend's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

Kosmo was the neighborhood that was right in the middle of the city, dividing Kwangya and Neo Zone. (Y/N) knew that there were usually illegal races in that area because it was when the rich kids from Kwangya usually dared to compete against Neo Zone.

"And why should I care...?"

"Your cousin will go to bet," Jungwoo replied, interrupting her study session.

The girl opened her eyes in surprise and asked, "How do you know?"

"Daeho told Mingi, and Mingi told me," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. The boy fell silent for a moment and cleared his throat. "Don’t you want to go?" He asked curiously.

(Y/N) looked up from her books and observed her friend incredulously. "Why would I want to go?"

"To keep an eye on Daeho," he answered.

"I'm still mad with him, I've decided not to help him anymore. I really tried, I've been trying for the past few years, but he doesn't want help and now I understand," the girl confessed, closing her book and letting out a sigh.

"Still... don't you think it would be fun? Getting out of our comfort zone a bit... seeing what all this racing stuff is about. I've heard they're amazing," Jungwoo insisted.

"Jungwoo, my mom will kill me if she finds out I went to an illegal race," the girl continued, taking a sip of her coffee.

"She won't find out."

"Jungwoo..."

"Come on, (Y/N), we won't even be in Neo Zone, it'll be in Kwangya only. We'll go, watch the race, and leave. We won't even make contact with anyone. We'll go on our own," the boy assured her, moving closer to her. "Please, I think it would be interesting to break out of our routine, just for one night, what could go wrong?"

"Many things could go wrong, Woo," she replied.

"We won't know unless we try," he pouted, clasping his hands together. "Please."

She hated how persuasive her best friend was.

She sighed and shook her head. "Fine, but at the first sign of trouble, we're leaving without a second thought."

"I love you so much," Jungwoo replied, hugging her shoulders.

"And I really hate you."

______________________________________________

The night fell faster than she expected, and among the roar of engines and the intense music that could be heard on the outskirts of Kosmo, (Y/N) felt something cold run through her body.

She could see familiar faces here and there, some of her classmates from Kwangya were in the place, and from the opposite side, the cars and familiar faces of Neo Zone were present.

It was a strange atmosphere for her; she had always played it safe, and now she didn't even know what to think. She felt herself getting closer to Jungwoo to not lose him, the last thing she needed was for them to separate like they did at the party.

She didn't think she could survive alone.

And it's not that she was dumb to think otherwise, but her parents raised her in an environment where they made her believe that she shouldn't do things outside her daily life. (Y/N) was afraid of adventures. Her life was governed by being obedient and doing the right thing; she didn't know when the moment of rebellion she had a few days ago when she left home the night of the party had been wise.

And now finding herself in Kosmo secretly from her mother at an illegal race? She must have gone crazy.

She believed even more so that she had gone crazy when something inside her hoped to run into none other than Jung Jaehyun.

She didn't understand why the urgency of what was happening, and even less why she expected to run into Jaehyun before running into Daeho.

Maybe it was because she found it strange not to have seen him since last Friday's party.

But she knew that if there was one place Jaehyun wouldn't miss... it would be the race tonight.

"Are you looking for Daeho?" Jungwoo asked when he saw her looking around. "He's probably with Mingi."

How could she explain to her friend that the person she was looking for was none other than Jung Jaehyun?

She nodded without saying more, and they both continued on their way while cautiously observing their surroundings. The smell of marijuana and car engines was embedded in the place, the music made their ears ring, and the night breeze made their bodies tremble.

(Y/N)'s eyes drifted away when she noticed Lucas in the distance, having a conversation with another guy. Lucas felt her gaze on him and looked at the girl with confusion before approaching her after apologizing to his companion.

"Hey, Kwangya kiddos, what brings you here on this magnificent night?" Lucas asked enthusiastically.

"We wanted to know what these races are about," Jungwoo replied simply.

"Hmm, interesting," the tall guy nodded. "Well, you're in luck, Jaehyun will race today, are you sure you want to see the show? The best of the area against someone from Yellow Wood," Lucas explained while cracking his fingers slightly.

Upon hearing the guy's name, (Y/N) looked up and paid attention to Lucas's words.

"If you're interested in betting, come to me," Lucas advised.

"I think we're fine like this," said (Y/N).

"Alright, take care. I'll go look for my guy to get him ready for the race," Lucas announced as he patted Jungwoo on the back.

The guy walked away from them with a smile, and Jungwoo responded with one of his own, then he looked at his friend and frowned, "relax, you're anxious."

How could she not be?

But before she could even answer anything, a few meters away, she saw the familiar face she had been looking for. In the distance, the silhouette of Jung Jaehyun was leaning against his car while talking to a few guys from Neo Zone, his neck tattoos weren't very visible due to the darkness of the night but she could distinguish them a bit, then... as if he had called him, Jaehyun's gaze moved to connect with hers, making her freeze in place.

Jaehyun frowned when he saw her standing just a few steps away from him, looking like a lost puppy as she stood beside Jungwoo.

The sight reminded him of a month ago when Daeho had clumsily brought (Y/N) to Neo Zone. Although this time she was accompanied by her best friend, another rich and spoiled kid from Kwangya. He observed the outfit she had decided to wear, once again, just like that time, it wasn't extravagant, no famous brand could be seen in her attire, and the only piece of jewelry she wore was a pair of earrings that definitely looked like gold...

He hoped she wouldn't lose them tonight.

Because they made her look good.

The surprise was evident on the girl's face when she took a better look at the brunet's body, who was now walking towards her, wearing a hoodie with its hood over his head and as he got closer, the darkness of the night was no longer so intrusive. It hadn't been enough to hide the bruises that were scattered across his body.

There was one under his cheek, just below his left eye, and it was reddish, as if it were flushed. Then, looking at the ones between his jaw and his neck, she noticed how they subtly mixed with the ink of the tattoo he had on his neck. That one was difficult to distinguish thanks to the dark lines that adorned that part of his body, but if you paid enough attention, it was alarming.

When she lowered her gaze over his torso and then looked at his hands, she could see the intense shades of red that his knuckles contained, as if ground blood had accumulated on each of them.

It wasn't the first time she had seen Jaehyun or Lucas with a bruise or two on a school day, but it was the first time she had seen it up close.

Her heart was pounding a mile a minute. Why was it suddenly doing this?

"Did you lost your way home?" Jaehyun asked when he was in front of her.

"Jaehyun," she muttered quietly, "... are you okay?"

The girl didn't need much to realize that was the stupidest question she could ask right now, of course he wasn't okay. And although she knew this happened regularly in Jaehyun's life, she couldn't help but fill her head with doubts; what had to happen for him to end up like this?

... was that the reason he hadn't gone to school?

A small smile appeared on the boy's face, and even with the different colors decorating his face, she could still notice the dimples that formed in it.

Why did he still look good?

"I don't think you came here to ask that, Angel," Jaehyun replied mockingly. "I really believed in your whole story about us going on our ways, so what are you doing at a race where most of the spectators are from Neo Zone?"

The girl was left speechless. "Jungwoo brought me here."

"Well, if that's the case, enjoy the races, I think it'll be fun for you to spice up your Wednesday nights a bit," he continued with a sarcastic smile.

"What happened to you?" She asked again.

Jaehyun didn't answer.

He had gotten himself into big trouble... all thanks to Jeno.

He had trusted that all his merchandise would be sold by the time Monday came around, but after being at Johnny Suh's party, where other dealers were also present, he didn't manage to sell what he needed.

He had a little less than half left in his pockets and in Lucas's.

Luck had not been on his side this time, and when he had to be accountable to Lee Sooman, he had to take responsibility for his brother's actions. And despite telling him that he would not take care of him like he used to after the argument they had... he'd much rather take the beatings he had received than see Jeno the way he did in the mirror.

That time, it really felt eternal. He still remembers the angry (but also mocking) look Sooman had on his face when Jaehyun and Lucas brought the money to his office and after asking Lucas none too kindly to leave, that was when Jaehyun knew what was coming.

With Cheol Uk by his side, leading him out of the office to the vacant lot not far from the warehouse, Jaehyun could do nothing but accept what was coming.

It was one blow after another, and he knew well that at that moment, defending himself was not something he should do or he would end up worse.

He remembers feeling every punch with tremendous pain, and all he could think about was Jeno and how he would have felt if it had been him getting beaten up.

At least Jaehyun was used to the beatings and had no choice; he already knew that all of this was part of being someone from Neo Zone, so he simply had to continue to comply with what Sooman demanded to the letter unless he wanted to end up again in the position he was in.

What felt like hours was really just a few minutes; Cheol Uk stopped hitting him after a while and without saying more, he left. Leaving Jaehyun in the middle of the vacant lot with a broken lip and eyebrow as he spat blood and reached for his abdomen for some support to get up and walk to where he knew Lucas was waiting for him.

How much more? How much longer would he have to keep with all of this?

But, right now, it wasn't something he should talk about.

"It's really not something you need to know," he replied with a smirk. "You came to enjoy the race, right? Then do it, I'll be running in a few minutes, if you don't get scared by the atmosphere here before that, I'm sure you'll want to see me," Jaehyun continued, winking at her.

"I think it'll be fun to see you in second place," the girl teased.

"Baby... I always win," Jaehyun bragged, looking her directly in the eyes.

It was then that the girl didn't say anything else, she just kept her gaze on his. She hated feeling intrigued by Jaehyun himself. Because right now she didn't even feel like she was in Kosmo, with Jaehyun in front of her looking directly at her, she didn't even feel real. She was getting into fire and she knew it.

And she didn't know if she could escape from it.

For a moment she felt a heaviness on her shoulders and warmth surrounded her, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and notice that the jacket that Jaehyun was wearing over his hoodie was now over her body.

"You were trembling like a chihuahua," Jaehyun explained. "Don't consider it an act of kindness, I'm just returning the favor after having done my jobs those two weeks... at least now they won't kick me out of school this evaluation period," he continued.

"I'm not sure if I should feel good knowing that I'm indirectly helping an illegal business," she replied, adjusting the jacket.

"No one needs to know," he replied. "Good luck tonight, don't get lost too much because things get interesting," he said, and without further ado, he turned around to go back to his friends.

(Y/N) stood perplexed in her place, and it was then that she felt Jungwoo's presence next to her.

"What was that?"

"I have no idea."

_______________________________________________

The next morning, after putting her books back in her backpack, (Y/N) looked at the jacket folded inside her bag, feeling a heaviness and remembering the events of the previous night.

The rumors were true... Jung Jaehyun was the best street racer in the area, because he not only competed once the day before, but two more times, winning 3 victories in a short time, and to be honest, it had been impressive.

She hadn't run into him again after the brief conversation they had, and even though she had been waiting for it... she and Jungwoo bolted from the place when they heard the police sirens approaching Kosmo.

The last thing she needed was for her parents to find out about her escapade.

She didn't hear anything from Daeho the night before, she even doubted if he had really gone to the race.

She didn't want to give too much importance to the situation, which is why she chose to continue her path through the school hallways, hoping to return the jacket that was at the bottom of her bag and trying to divert her thoughts to something other than Jaehyun.

And as if she had summoned him, she saw him under the entrance roof as he leaned against the wall and took a drag from the cigarette in his hands. (Y/N) checked the day's weather and cursed when she noticed the raindrops falling lightly. She had forgotten about today's forecast.

Jaehyun was lost in his thoughts as he watched the rain and let out the smoke in his chest.

The bruises were still visible.

She stopped abruptly to take the jacket out of her bag and, without saying anything, approached him and handed it back to him.

Jaehyun looked at her with a raised eyebrow and blew out the smoke from his lungs.

"You're welcome," Jaehyun said as he took the jacket in his hands.

"Yes, thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks flush.

"Where did you park your car?" Jaehyun asked out of nowhere.

"I didn't bring it with me, my mom confiscated it," she blurted out without thinking, and when she turned to look at Jaehyun, she noticed a mocking smile on his face.

"Oh, mom took away your Porsche," he pouted mockingly and shook his head. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"I'm fine, Jaehyun. Thanks," she said as she looked at the rain.

"Come on, it wouldn't be the first time I've taken you. Plus, the school won't be closing anytime soon."

She thought about all the possibilities that crossed her mind, but something about her was excited to think about the ride home.

"Where's your car?"

______________________________________________

It was fortunate that his car was nearby.

Jaehyun turned on the heater as soon as they got into the car, and without further ado, the journey began.

It was just like the first time they had been together in the same car. Without saying anything, both with their eyes focused on the road, and it was then that they both realized that they didn't have a topic of conversation. The few times they had interacted had been about their interests and what they needed from each other at the moment. However, Jaehyun didn't know anything about (Y/N) that he hadn't heard at school, and (Y/N) didn't know anything about Jaehyun that she hadn't heard in the hallways or from her parents about the people from Neo Zone.

At this point, they weren't even acquaintances.

They had just coincided in something and that was it.

(Y/N) took the opportunity to send a text message to Jungwoo and tell him that he no longer needed to pick her up, without explaining more, she sent the text and subsequently, Jaehyun's phone rang.

The boy sighed and cautiously looked for a quick place to park even with the sound of the mobile phone ringing filling the car. He took the device and (Y/N) could notice the slight tension that seized Jaehyun's body as he read the caller ID, without thinking twice he answered the call.

The brunette felt weird being able to hear Jaehyun's conversation, so she tried to distract herself with something else. First with her phone, then looking out the window where she could see the rain beginning to dissipate, and then she could hear a "I'll be there in a moment" that made her react and turn to see him end the call.

The boy scratched his neck and then brought his hands to his face to rub it, let out a deep sigh, and looked at (Y/N).

“Uh, I need to do something quickly and your house is still a bit far... Do you mind if we stop by that place first? It's on the way” he asked with no other option.

“Does this has to do with your job?” She asked.

It took him a moment to respond: — No, it's not about my job. You can stay in the car, it's just that, I really need to get there.

After seeing Jaehyun's face and not being able to decipher what he was trying to say, (Y/N) nodded, not very sure, and that was enough for Jaehyun to quickly start the car.

Thousands of thoughts ran through (Y/N)'s mind. Eager to know where they were headed; she didn't know if she should believe Jaehyun that this wasn't about picking up or delivering goods or meeting someone who worked on the same thing he did.

She was only sure they wouldn't go to Neo Zone because they were far from there.

She could see how impatient Jaehyun seemed while driving, and that only made her even more nervous. What exactly did they tell him in that call to make him like this? She wanted to ask, but she knew she wouldn't get an answer.

She didn't know how many minutes had passed, she only knew that the rain stopped just before the car parked and she finally noticed where they were. A gray building was a few meters away from them, and it wasn't hard to recognize it.

It was the National Rehabilitation Center.

A long and large building, which was accompanied by an extensive garden, and from the outside, you could see that there were a huge number of rooms inside it.

Her head was flooded with even more questions knowing that this was the place where Jaehyun was needed.

“You can stay in the car if you want. I'll be back in a moment” Jaehyun said as he opened the car door and got out.

Curiosity got the better of her.

And that's why she got out of the car and followed Jaehyun. Without saying anything, they entered the building where they were immediately greeted by a nurse who seemed to know the boy well.

“Jaehyun, I'm glad you were able to answer the call” said the woman as she greeted them. “We need to talk to you”.

The boy nodded and turned to (Y/N), who just nodded and said, “I’ll wait for you.”

He smiled slightly and walked with the person until they reached the reception where she was able to pull out a few papers.

It had been, perhaps, about two weeks since the last time he had been there. A place he was very familiar with and where he regularly went; he had become good friends with the friendly nurses who apparently didn't care where he came from.

He was grateful that the nurse didn't say anything when his bruises and wounds were clearly visible.

“Has something happened?” he asked after a few seconds.

“ He's fine” the nurse said with a smile “but we need to talk to you about his stay here” she continued.

That's when the small smile on his face disappeared. Jaehyun knew what she was referring to. He swallowed hard before the nurse could speak.

“The payment is overdue, Jaehyun," the nurse confirmed what he already knew. "We care about Sicheng's health, but this is not my concern. You know that the center relies on patients' monthly payments, and the administrators in charge of them request them punctually," she commented as she handed Jaehyun one of the papers. "I understand your situation and Sicheng's, but there's nothing more I can do even if I wanted to; I've tried to delay the payment as much as I could, but unfortunately, it can't be delayed any longer. The administrators expect the payment soon, or we'll have to discharge Sicheng and send him home," she concluded.

It was difficult at first for Jaehyun to process everything the nurse had said, as more than ten things ran through his mind at once; one of them being his good friend Winwin, then, thinking about how he could quickly get the money he knew he owed to the clinic, considering the beating he had just received for not being able to complete a sale. So, what would he do? He still needed half the money for that monthly payment, and between the clinic's expenses and those of his own house for his family, he couldn't see a way to get the money on time.

He would have to ask for more stash to sell if he wanted to do it.

He couldn't let them discharge Sicheng.

Not while he hasn't made progress.

"I'm sorry," Jaehyun said. "I... I still have a little left to complete the payment. It's just that lately, it's been harder, and... how much time do I have to pay it?" the breathless boy asked.

"Considering that it's only the first few days of the month, and the payment is already two weeks late... I can't give you more than three days," lamented the nurse, making a grimace.

"I'll try the impossible to bring you that money on Saturday. Sicheng still can't be discharged; he hasn't progressed the way he was supposed to," he affirmed, a slight pout evident in his mouth.

What a contrast there was between his expression and the bruises, accompanied by the tattoos on his body.

Being in the Rehabilitation Center was the place where he could be most vulnerable.

"How is he?" he asked, lowering his gaze.

"Same as the last time you came to visit him," commented the nurse. "We're doing what we can, Jaehyun, but as long as he stays the way he is, we can't move forward. We need his will to help him."

When no words came out of his mouth, the nurse continued: "Jaehyun, you know you can go see him."

For Jaehyun, each visit was just as difficult as the day he decided to admit Sicheng to that clinic, and each one left him more tormented than the previous.

He would give everything if that means that Sicheng would go back to be himself.

He nodded after a few seconds and cautiously glanced back, where, not far away, (Y/N) was reading some brochures and observing the facilities around them; when she noticed the boy's gaze on her body, she walked toward him carefully.

The brunette didn't really know what came to his mind or what caused those words to come out of his mouth, but when he wanted to back off, it was too late, because they had already been expressed.

"Are you coming with me?"

And although (Y/N) had no idea why they were there or where they were going, she accepted anyway. So they found themselves walking down the long whitewashed hallway until they reached an elevator, and then they went up about three floors.

The atmosphere was cold, the hallways and rooms were well-lit, and they could see a few nurses and what she assumed were doctors walking around in their lab coats.

Jaehyun didn't know why he was allowing himself to show her that part of his life, especially when it was such a fragile part for him. He had tried to protect it cautiously for the past few months, and now he was there, accompanied by Hwang (Y/N), with the person he never thought he would meet at that moment.

He hadn't really thought of her when he asked if they could go there before going home; his head was only thinking about the clinic and Sicheng when the call had ended, and it was too late to change his mind when they had set off.

He just hoped the girl would be discreet enough.

They reached room 119, where Jaehyun pushed the door open and where in a wheelchair, they both could see Winwin, who was facing the large window of his room, looking outside.

(Y/N)'s surprised face did not go unnoticed; she was confused in a thousand ways. She knew who Dong Sicheng was; everyone in her school knew him, however... she thought he had simply left the city. She had no idea he was in that place. So in her head, thousands of questions arose about him, why he was there, and why he was in a wheelchair.

She could only react when she heard Jaehyun's voice: "Hey, buddy. How are you today?"

Nothing.

That's what he received.

Jaehyun walked over to him, and when he stood next to him, he crouched down enough to be able to observe him better. Winwin had his gaze fixed forward, his cheeks were a little rosy, his hair fell over his forehead, and his hands were resting on his legs.

Jaehyun sighed.

"Oh, I see you've taken a shower today," the boy mentioned with a smile, and again, there was not a single response.

When he noticed the presence of the girl, who had remained in her place throughout the visit and hesitated to approach them, he spoke: "Today I'm not alone; I brought company. Maybe you'll find it helpful to hear another voice that isn't mine or Lucas's... or the nurses'," the boy teased and gestured to the brunette to come closer, who obeyed. "Do you remember (Y/N)? She was in our class; we've coincided a couple of times, that's why she's here."

"Hello, Winwin," she greeted softly. Jaehyun made a grimace and stood up from his place to be at the girl's height.

"Don't expect an answer," Jaehyun commented. "There won't be one."

"I thought... I thought Winwin had moved to China," (Y/N) confessed.

Jaehyun snorted: "Yes, that's what everyone thinks."

Those words took her by surprise, and it was when she decided to remain silent, watching from a distance the little interaction between the boys: it was just Jaehyun saying a few words while adjusting Sicheng's hair without expecting any response.

Dong Sicheng and Jung Jaehyun had been friends since birth, being two little boys who grew up on the streets of Neo Zone, it was easy to click with each other. Winwin's parents had decided to move to the infamous area after his father had met Lee Sooman in some low neighborhood in Wenzhou, China, and he had offered him a job where he could have his family at least a little better off than in his country.

Winwin had not joined the gang since it had not been of great urgency to him; his father was the active member needed by the family, and if he were honest... the farthest he could be from the Neo Zone gang... the better. He was always Jaehyun's companion at all times. Best friends who shared every detail of their lives for years, Jaehyun took care of Sicheng, and he provided the most sincere friendship he had ever had... then, a while later, Lucas Wong and Mark Lee joined their adventures.

Four boys from Neo Zone with the desire to conquer the world, but unable to leave their sad reality behind.

Jaehyun still remembers that fateful day a year ago, and he still feels like it happened yesterday.

The guilt gnawed at him every passing day, terrorizing each of his nights as he wondered: Why?

Why did something like that have to happen to someone as good as Dong Sicheng was?

A year ago, when Jaehyun had chosen to go deliver a package of stash after Winwin had asked him to stay and keep him company, and he had denied that request... that decision still drilled into his head.

Winwin's family and he had been robbed in their own home. Knowing who had done it, the reasons for the event, and who had ordered such inhumanity, were still a mystery. When Winwin's parents along with him tried to flee the place by leaving in a car; it had not been the wisest decision they had made at the moment... because not long after, outside of Neo Zone, after the group of people who had robbed their home managed to shoot a clean shot in one of the tires of the rear part of the car, causing Winwin's father to lose control of his own vehicle and not a few meters later it would impact hard enough for the car to be shot in another direction, causing immediate damage.

Jaehyun only remembers receiving a call from Lucas and minutes later finding himself at the entrance to the Emergency Room of the General Hospital, where a stretcher with Winwin's body was being transported.

He remembers seeing the blood. He remembers hearing Lucas and Mark's screams asking to see their friend. He remembers standing still at the entrance to the Emergency Room.

But above all, he remembers thinking, what would have happened if instead of deciding to go sell that stupid package of stash, what if he had stayed at home with his mother and Sicheng?

A week in a coma and a diagnosis of paraplegia was what made Jaehyun lose his mind.

It had been a year since the accident, and Winwin had not even progressed a bit. After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, it had been difficult to help the injury in the dorsal spine that he had suffered; the damage had been partial, Winwin could handle his movements and his sensitivity to walk again... if only he would come out of the state of shock he was still in.

There were too many things he experienced in so few minutes, so much physical and mental pain for what happened, that now, Sicheng couldn't react.

It had been a year since Sicheng hasn’t spoken.

The doctors assured that he could hear and understand everything, but he was simply mentally tired to process the words and make them come out of his mouth.

His body didn't react as it should either.

And until Winwin had the strength of his own will to do it, the only thing they could do at that clinic was to keep him on medication so that the pains would not persist.

But Jaehyun couldn't take it anymore.

What he would give for Sicheng to be able to enjoy life again.

Unfortunately, the visits he made to the hospital... didn't last more than half an hour since that was the place's regulation. So, his farewell was as quick as his arrival.

"See you on Saturday, Win," he put his hand on his shoulder. "Don't give the nurses too much trouble."

He could swear he heard Winwin laugh and say goodbye.

Even though that really didn't happen.

(Y/N), who throughout the visit remained silent observing both boys, could feel her heart in her hand. She had never believed she would see that vulnerability on Jaehyun's part, and knowing what it was about because of the importance his best friend had in his life, made her heart ache with sadness even more.

"Now I'll take you home," murmured Jaehyun when he passed by her without saying anything else.

The girl glanced back, looking for the last time at Sicheng's silhouette, who hadn't moved from the same place since they had both arrived in the room. She took a deep breath and left the room when Jaehyun was already far enough away.

She didn't know what to say. There were no words of comfort for the situation, and she knew it, that's why they both silently said goodbye to the nurse who had received them and continued like that until they entered the car, which was not parked far away.

Jaehyun allowed himself to lean back on the driver's seat as he closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"I guess you have many questions," Jaehyun said without opening his eyes.

She had.

"I don't know if I really should ask them," (Y/N) confessed as she looked at him.

The boy remained silent for a few seconds.

"Sicheng and his parents had an accident a year ago," Jaehyun said, opening his eyes to look at her. "An accident that was caused."

"By whom?"

"No one knows," he replied, taking his hands to the steering wheel of the car and squeezing it tightly. "His parents died instantly... Winwin arrived at the hospital in critical condition; it was a miracle that he came out alive."

"Why...?"

"Why is he in this clinic?" he interrupted, and she nodded with a knot in her stomach. "The accident had a great impact and damaged on his dorsal spine; the doctors diagnosed partial paraplegia; his sensitivity in his legs was minimal, and he couldn't make any extensive movements with his legs that didn't make him cry from the pain. After seven days, he woke up from the coma and realized everything that had happened, including my uncle's death... he hasn't said a single word since then... the doctors said it would take time for him to recover, and that eventually, he would speak, but Winwin doesn't have the will to do it; he's still in a kind of state of shock, and that has delayed his recovery," he explained, unable to see her in the eyes.

"Who... who pays for all this if Sicheng's parents aren't here?" she asked curiously.

Jaehyun sighed; "For the first few months, my boss covered part of the monthly fee, until suddenly he stopped doing it. Since then, I've been taking care of it."

The girl's expression was one of surprise.

"How do you do it?"

"That’s the reason I'm in the business that I'm in," he replied, changing his gaze to her, being able to see directly into her eyes and causing her to feel a shiver run through her body.

There was something about those bruised eyes that had done something to her.

"It must be hard," the girl said in a murmur.

Jaehyun snorted and nodded slowly. He hated being seen in his less tough character. The only person he allowed himself to be like that with was Lucas... or Winwin. And for a stranger to see him like that... made his blood boil.

"You know? Winwin loved dancing," Jaehyun said, smiling sideways as the memory came to his mind.

That fact wasn't strange for (Y/N), she remembers seeing Winwin at the school theater... the only boy from Neo Zone who was part of the dance team. She didn't even know how he had managed that, but he must have been good if the Kwangya students allowed him to be in the group.

"Now nobody knows if he'll be able to do it again," Jaehyun continued. "Winwin was the only one of all of us who really had a future, he wasn't even a gang member... he hadn't even gone through his initiation, and look how he ended up."

(Y/N) swallowed.

"Mark Lee is no longer friends with you, right?" The girl asked curiously.

"Things got complicated with him after the accident."

The brunette fell silent for a moment and then shifted her body to face him.

“Haven't you thought about looking for another alternative?” she questioned again “You know? If you let me help you, maybe I could get you a position at my father's company and...”

“Shh. I think I've told you it's not that easy.”

“ But it could be” she insisted.

Jaehyun scoffed and shook his head as he looked away from her.

“I not only have to cover this quota, I also have to bring money home, for my mom and for Jeno. It's the easiest way to get what I need” he confessed “besides, I told you once... in Neo Zone there's no way out, once you're in, you're in forever.”

The tattoos on his neck were what sentenced him to a miserable life forever.

But as long as that miserable life helped to ease the pain and managed to make Sicheng return to who he was, it would be worth it.

“It doesn't have to be like this” she murmured, focusing on her own hands.

"You don't know what it's like to be part of this," he countered in a low voice.

How had they opened up to have such a conversation so suddenly?

The girl felt her lip tremble as she remembered the scene she had witnessed minutes earlier in that room, and she couldn't help but think about how it would feel to lose a loved one in such a way... knowing that physically they were present, but mentally they weren't there.

(Y/N) had always had a heart easy to move, but she really never believed that Jung Jaehyun would be able to achieve that.

"Is that why you insist on continuing school?" she asked, looking at him again.

"Students are my best clients," he replied with a half smile.

(Y/N) didn't know how to take that.

She closed her eyes for a moment and then said, "I can help you with a few more assignments," she assured. "But only for a while and in my own way. But, I don't want you to involve me in any of the problems you're in, it will only be school matters. I don't want to be associated with anything you do, if anything you do is enough to help Sicheng, I'll try not to question it."

Jaehyun couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"If that helps you help me and me stay in school..." he paused "...I might be willing."

"What's the reason for your change of heart?"

"Because if I were in the same situation as you, I would also want someone to somehow help me," she replied, hugging herself.

The boy nodded with a half-smile, and without further ado, he started the car.

"Only school matters," Jaehyun confirmed.

She definitely didn't know what he had just gotten himself into.

______________________________________________

The day after the visit to the National Rehabilitation Center, something happened that made (Y/N) unable to concentrate enough during class hours. Her mind kept going back to the place over and over again, but how horrible was the situation the boy was in. One day you're capable, and the next... not even being able to move. How could anyone endure that?

At some point in the morning, during the physics period, her mind was spinning, her leg moving anxiously, and she bit her lips. She tried to erase the conversation she and Jaehyun had had the day before a thousand times and tried to erase the image of Winwin in that room.

But it was impossible.

Just when she thought she had succeeded, the image returned immediately.

She hated being someone who cared too much about things.

Because she knew something wasn't right with her when she found herself in front of the doors of the Rehabilitation Center.

Her coat shielded her from the cold breeze on that day, and as she clutched her bag to her, she didn't think anymore and entered the place.

She felt a little out of place when she entered the center, but after a few minutes, a presence came in front of her.

"Hello, good morning," the nurse greeted her. "Oh, you're the girl who accompanied Jaehyun yesterday, right?" She asked in confusion.

The girl smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm Hwang (Y/N). I'm Jaehyun's classmate... and Winwin's."

"How nice of you to visit us... are you here to see Winwin? It's rare to see someone come for him other than Lucas or Jaehyun," confessed the nurse.

"Um, yes... I could say I'm here for a visit," the girl smiled. "But, to be honest... yesterday I overheard a bit of his conversation with Jaehyun... I know Winwin's payment is delayed this month."

"Yes, usually Jaehyun finds a way to pay on time," she sighed. "But this month it's been delayed for a few weeks, and if I'm honest, I've been doing everything I can to keep Winwin from being discharged."

The girl nodded and asked, "Do you think Winwin's treatment will still take time?"

"I can't answer that accurately," admitted the nurse. "It's all a matter of Winwin's will, but to be honest, right now he has no will at all, so far as we're concerned, and if the payment continues to be monthly... he could spend another half a year here."

The girl understood the situation, and although she would like to think more about it... she didn't, so she didn't even know when she blurted out those words: "Is there any way I can pay for the next six months?"

The nurse's eyes widened with surprise, and she looked at the girl with enthusiasm. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," she replied. "I would like to help one of my classmates as long as I can. Money is not a problem," she confessed.

"Wow... thank you, i really appreciate that. Winwin is a boy with a lot of potential from what we know, and although we're sad that we haven't made the progress we want, we know that someday he will leave through that door better," (Y/N) smiled nostalgically.

"I just need to ask you something," the brunette confessed. "Could you not tell Jaehyun that I've paid?" she questioned.

"I don't know if it's easy to lie to someone like Jaehyun," the nurse laughed. "But since it's something good you've done... I'll try," the nurse walked to the desk with (Y/N) behind her. "(Y/N)?" She called and paid attention. "I know there may be many things about Jaehyun... but he's a good guy... beneath all that facade; he really has something good."

Those words hammered in her head. "Thank you."

_____________________________________________

(Y/N) reviewed the same line of text she had read five times now on some molasses topic. Trying to understand the topic deeply.

The air coming lightly through one of the library windows was enough for her to try to hug herself to take warmth, read a bit from the physics books on the table, and impatiently move her leg.

She didn't know at what exact moment a tall figure stood in front of her, but what she did know was that that person didn't seem very happy.

"Why did you do it?" Jaehyun let out while looking directly at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," (Y/N) replied while looking at her book attentively.

"I know you know. I thought I told you I don't need your money," Jaehyun repeated with annoyance.

"I still don't know what you're talking about," the girl stopped seeing her book and changed her gaze to the boy.

"Don't play with me," the boy exclaimed exasperatedly. "Why did I went to the center today and they told me Winwin's treatment has been paid for the next six months?"

The girl shrugged. "It could have been your boss."

"My boss doesn't give a shit about Winwin!" Exclaimed the boy. "I told you I didn't need your money, I was clear, I don't want to owe anything to anyone from Kwangya."

"You don't need to pay me back," the girl assured, standing up in front of Jaehyun. "With the money you'll save from that, you'll be able to sell less."

"It seems you don't understand a fucking thing!" Jaehyun raised your arms with annoyance. "Paying or not paying for Sicheng's treatment, it doesn't change the fact that I sell drugs!" The boy explained regardless of where they were; they were lucky the library wasn't being occupied by other people.

"Everyone starts somewhere!" the girl attacked. "I just wanted to take a weight off your shoulders."

Jaehyun scoffed and looked at her with a sarcastic smile.

"Why? I don't need your pity! If you hadn't accompanied me yesterday, you'd still be thinking Winwin had moved to China! You didn't give a fucking damn even when he was your classmate!"

(Y/N) started gathering her things and putting them in her backpack.

"Saying thank you would have been enough, Jaehyun!" the girl remarked. "I know you can do better with your life," she murmured as she turned to look at him.

Jaehyun's blood was boiling; he hated when people interfered in his life, as if he didn't already have enough to deal with.

"You don't know anything about me! You said it yourself; we're not even friends," he retorted.

"And what if I want to get to know you better?" the girl exclaimed without thinking. They both fell silent, staring into each other's eyes. (Y/N) didn't even want to say those words, but she did.

She couldn't deny that Jung Jaehyun was intriguing. She didn't know why. She didn't know why she had been avoiding him for weeks, but since that night at Neo Zone, when they had talked about the deal, she knew it would be difficult to shake him off, and when she had... something inside her wanted them to meet again. Why are things so difficult? They are two different people from different backgrounds; why would she suddenly be interested in him? Was it because she saw him vulnerable the day before? Or was it because she believed there was something good in him, just like the nurse had said?

She must be crazy to think like that.

"You really don't want to do it," Jaehyun said with a bit more calmness.

"I know you can get out out of that hole, Jaehyun."

"Winwin's parents tried, and look how that ended up!" he exclaimed. "There's no way out in Neo Zone, get that through your head," he explained. "There's nothing good about me. I don't even know why you think so, just because yesterday you saw something different or because I drove you home a couple of times, doesn't mean you know everything about me!"

"Stop acting like a fucking jerk."

"Like a jerk? This is reality! Your act of charity isn't going to change my life. I was born a dealer, and that's how my life will end!"

"I really believe there's something good in you."

"Well, keep believing it."

"If you ever feel grateful, you know where to find me," the girl said, gathering her things and walking out of the library.

Jaehyun cursed under his breath and shook his hands in frustration. In just a few days, the girl had managed to push his buttons faster than anyone else from Neo Zone.

But when he saw her walk out the door, why did he feel regret for lashing out at her?

_______________________________________________

The week had been slow this time. (Y/N) and Jaehyun had been avoiding each other like the plague, not even looking at each other when they crossed paths in the hallway. For the girl, it seemed like childish behavior, especially coming from Jaehyun and his usual façade; now he seemed nothing more than someone throwing a tantrum after she only wanted to help him.

But she still thought she really wanted to get to know him better.

What was behind his façade? What was it that made him who he was? Not the boy from Neo Zone, not the dealer everyone knew... who was Jeong Jaehyun really?

That question had been on her mind for weeks, and it disappointed her a bit to know that she might never know the answers to those doubts she had about the boy.

Today was warm compared to the weather last week. The sun was shining brightly, and luckily for (Y/N), her mother had decided to return her car. So her day had started off on the right foot, and hoping for a good day, she took the opportunity to stop by her favorite coffee shop in Kwangya. Ordering her usual vanilla latte and just before it was time to pay, a thought invaded her mind, and after debating it internally, she decided to follow her thoughts.

An hour and a half later, when she was the last one to leave her physics class, someone blocked her path at the classroom door. Holding her book to her chest, after the unexpected startle, she looked ahead to find no one but Jaehyun. Who stood silently in front of her, with the same leather jacket he used to wear, the same combination of marijuana and vanilla scent, and with the same enchanting eyes, that she had just noticed.

She was in dangerous territory.

And she knew it.

"I need to go to my next class, Jaehyun," the girl said shortly.

For a few seconds, the boy in front of her didn't say anything, he just watched her, until he sighed and slowly said, "Thank you."

Short and to the point, he didn't say anything else, and that was enough to make (Y/N)'s heart flutter in a thousand ways.

"For the coffee," the boy finished. "And for the notes."

"I did my part, I told you I would help you," said (Y/N) as she fiddled with her fingers.

"I thought you wouldn't after the last time we met," Jaehyun confessed.

"I'm sticking to that."

A small silence ensued. Two people face to face. With thousands of doubts between them and things to resolve. What had drawn them together? How was it that the universe managed to put two completely different people in the same place?

"Did you mean it?" Jaehyun asked, and when he noticed that (Y/N) didn't understand what he meant, he continued. "About wanting to get to know me more."

(Y/N) swallowed hard and looking him in the eyes, nodded.

"I still believe there's something good in you."

"Why?"

"I don't know yet," she replied honestly. "And it's killing me. A while ago, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with you, not even to cross paths, but now, I don't know what's changed, but every time I try to stay away, it's like something brings me back here," she confessed, leaving Jaehyun speechless, who just watched her, trying to decipher everything she was saying.

It was killing him too.

"Let's go to my car," he said.

"Huh?" she asked, confused.

"You want to know more about me, then get in my car," he said again, this time making his way to the parking lot, with (Y/N) behind him, who didn't say a single word, just followed his lead.

What was he doing?

When they reached the car, Jaehyun opened the passenger door, causing (Y/N) to get in without protesting. Then Jaehyun got into the driver's seat and without further ado, started the engine. She didn't know what was happening or what would happen next, but right now she could only trust Jaehyun.

Even though she didn't know how bad an idea that might be.

A few minutes later, as they had traveled a long distance, (Y/N) noticed they were approaching Neo Zone, and with her eyes wide open, she panicked.

"This is me," Jaehyun said out of nowhere, catching the girl's attention. "See all these streets? This is where I belong. This is what I am," he explained carefully.

(Y/N) looked out the window, a couple of people smoking on the sidewalk, others passing joints, and other silent streets. The houses weren't that big... rather, they looked cramped. Unlike what she was used to, to her lifestyle, this didn't seem like it would be enough for a family.

But what did she know with the privilege she had?

"I grew up here, this is what I know," he commented. "Most people are born and die here, it's something that seems to be already written," he continued as his car slowed down. "Those of us from here have a different perspective on life... people from Kwangya lives for the money... we live to survive, and although it's getting harder and harder, we manage to do it," the car finally stopped, and still looking out the window, (Y/N) saw a small house in front of them. One story, not much to describe or point out, it was small but for some reason, it looked cozy.

(Y/N) changed her gaze to Jaehyun, who was still looking ahead and spoke.

"Is this your house?"

Jaehyun nodded.

(Y/N) smiled softly.

"Would you invite me in?"

______________________________________________

He doesn't know how (Y/N) managed to have an effect on him, but now they were there, inside his little house, (Y/N) carefully examining the walls around them and analyzing every aspect of the small space.

He was grateful there were no one at home.

"It looks cozy," (Y/N) said as she looked at one of the frames hanging on the wall.

"I guess it's not even a third of your house," Jaehyun assured to (Y/N).

“And no matter how many people are there, it always feels lonely," she confessed. "It's like no one leaves anything there, like it's something unimportant. As if it's not a home," she finished.

Jaehyun looked at her gently, and as she looked around, thousands of things went through his mind.

"To be honest with you," the girl spoke. "I see more vibes from Jeno in this house than yours," she said. "Many things here seem related to Jeno... but I don't see many things related to you..." she continued. "It's like you don't even think about staying here for long."

"I don't plan on leaving Neo Zone," Jaehyun asserted, crossing his arms.

"Don't you want a different future?"

"There's no future for me," Jaehyun pointed out. "And if there were, I'd prefer to give it to Jeno. He has much more to live for than I do."

"You also have a life to live. A future to write, you can change what is today, for something better," (Y/N) turned around to face the boy.

"I have no way out," the boy replied. "Do you think this is easy? After seeing my dad die and doing everything my bosses ask me to do no matter what. Taking care of my mom, Jeno, and now Winwin? Huh? Making sure Winwin becomes who he was again and that my brother doesn't end up being a fucking addict are enough reasons for me not to leave here," Jaehyun concluded, getting dangerously close to her, with a few centimeters separating them.

The words echoed in her head strongly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't pity me," Jaehyun said under his breath.

"It's not that. It's just that every time I think about all this and now that I see your place and I don't see anything that seems to belong to you, it makes me think that's what you're looking for, to belong to something and leave here as soon as there's an opportunity,"

Jaehyun looked directly at her, not knowing what to say. And afraid to think that maybe she was right.

Because yes, maybe he wanted to get out of there, along with his mom, Jeno, and Winwin; maybe he wanted to do something with his life that wasn't illegal, but what was the point of thinking about it when he knew he wouldn't make it? He was afraid to admit that he wanted to be able to change things, to be able to make his family okay, that no shadow from the past would follow them, that they would have a place where they could forge a clean and safe future.

"This has never been about what I want," Jaehyun commented with a future. "Since I was born, everything around me was the gang. After my father's death, I knew what was coming, and I knew I would never be able to get out of it. It doesn’t matter what I want. It matter what my boss wants, he has that kind of power, no one below him has their own decision. The whole life of Neo Zone is ruled by him," he concluded, even closer to her.

(Y/N) looked him in the eyes, her breath uncontrolled. Her chest heaved, and her hands were sweating.

"What do you want, Jaehyun?" she whispered.

The boy paused for a moment and looked at her lips.

"Now?" he asked, and she nodded. "Would it be unrealistic to say that I want to kiss you?"

"How realistic would it be to say that I want you to do it?

She didn't even finish the question because Jaehyun's lips collided firmly with hers. The boy's long hands slid through (Y/N)'s soft hair, her hair smelling of lavender shampoo. He gently covered her cheek with one of his rough hands, and she melted into the touch.

It wasn't a hurried kiss, as (Y/N) thought it would be; actually, Jaehyun was taking the time to savor every passing second. As if this moment would disappear at any minute and he wanted to hold onto it.

Was he looking for something to belong to?

His hand moved from her cheek to her waist, and she took the opportunity to press her body against his and release a moan of pleasure. As if she felt complete leaning against Jaehyun's warmth.

As if it was something they both longed for for a long time.

And even though she wanted to continue with the act, they were severely interrupted when a car horn sounded incessantly outside the house, causing them to separate with tremendous confusion. (Y/N)'s red cheeks were enough to make Jaehyun's heart race, but when he heard another horn, he took her hand and they walked outside in hurry.

And then, there was Jeno, being thrown out of the back of a car, blood streaming from a cut on his eyebrow, bruises scattered all over his body, and falling firmly to the ground after being thrown.

"I want this to be the last time your brother sets foot in our zone. Next time it won't be him we throw," the familiar voice of a boy from the opposing gang spoke up. Chris. Who was with the window down and smiling maliciously. "Neither will it be you, Jung. It will be the girl who will end up like this,"

Jaehyun moved abruptly from his place to try to reach the car, but it left as fast as it could, (Y/N) shocked to hear those words, didn't do anything more than approach Jeno to help him up. Then Jaehyun cursed under his breath and looked into the distance at the girl and her brother together.

And his chest tightened as he realized that now, she too had been involved.

And he believed there was no turning back, because she was right... Jaehyun wanted to belong to something.

But how selfish would it be to belong to (Y/N)?

a/n: well now you know what happened to Winwin TT. Once again I’m sorry if this took too long I promise I’ll try to update sooner this time!

taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)

taglist: @spicyryujin @kriizztin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae

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theficblog · 1 year

Text

[6:28 pm]

KIM DOYOUNG

Genre: Fluff + Established relationship AU

Wordcount : 444

Warnings: Menstruation

You let out a loud groan, pulling up your blanket even closer and changing your position on the bed. You had been doing it since lunch. Your abdomen was visibly red due to the heat you had been applying, yet there was no relief in the pain. Never before had it hurt you so much that you had to excuse yourself from work.

The door opened up to reveal Doyoung.

He wore a look of concern on his face, he was worried to the extent he rushed to the pharmacy as soon as he reached back home.

Doyoung shut the door behind him, softly, without making any sound, afraid he would wake you up out of your sleep.

"Is it any better?" He hummed gently as he caressed your head.

You did not say anything; you only shook your head.

"Take this." He offered you the pill along with a glass of water, helping you to get up.

"Don't worry about that, baby, it's okay." He reassured by the sight of you examining the sheets to see if there were any blood stains.

"Are you crying?" He asked in a voice shrill out of surprise and, at the same time, deep out of solace.

"Awww my poor baby~" Doyoung cooed, lifting up the sheets, making you lay on your back and use his arm like a pillow.

He planted a kiss on your forehead, humming.

"Tsk!" You shrilled as he moved his face away.

"You want more? There you go." Before covering your entire face with his honey-like butterfly pecks.

His free hand reached to your belly, rubbing it with those warm hands, providing you with the comfort no silicon bottle ever could.

It soothed you, even more, when he started humming your favourite song in his angelic voice.

"Doyoung, why can't you be the one bearing our children?" You joked, feeling better.

He let out a huge giggle. Even his chuckle sounded like a mastered musical octave, so perhaps your hormones were taking over your logical senses.

"I wish I could, baby" He said.

"But wait! It is supposed to be more than just about giving birth." He explained. Lifting up his eyes to meet yours, halting the massage for a moment.

"Doyoung I literally am in no mood for science." You glared.

His mouth was left hanging open, before he quickly reached for your cheek, placing another stream of kisses.

"Making amends before you get mad." He whispered.

He shoved his face closer, to that sweet little sensitive spot on the neck near the shoulder, brushing his skin against it. He felt so warm.

"Kisses make my baby feel so much better."

LET ME KNOW YOUR VIEWS + ALSO SEE : MASTERLIST

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM PLAGIARIZING ,TRANSLATING, OR POSTING OUTSIDE THIS PLATFORM.

#doyoung #nct timestamps #nct fluff #doyoung fluff #nct 127 timestamps #nct scenarios #nct headcanons #nct 127 doyoung #nct imagines #doyoung imagines #doyoung scenarios #nct period #nct x you #nct x reader #nct 127 ff #nct soft hours

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himechia · 4 months

Text

“ ࣭⸰ ★ EYE OF AFFECTION . . . ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀NCT127 ; jeong jaehyun x fem reader (12.9k)

⊹ ⠀⠀ for as long as he can remember, jae's world has been in black and white - giving him no reason to appreciate his mother’s profession as an artist and the beauties that art can provide. however, an accidental meeting with you gives him reason to doubt his former beliefs - proving to him that there may be true beauty in a world that’s void of everything bright, that beauty being the sunshine that you provide.

contains; colorblind!jae, painter!reader, jae's mom is reader’s art mentor, jae hates art, strangers to lovers, major crushing from both sides, slow burn but also not slow burn (like a nice simmering burn), swearing, fluff, kissing, reader acts like she’s on an adrenaline rush 24/7, jealousy, angst, explosive arguments, lowkey toxic, extremely inaccurate depictions of colorblindness!!, johnny is jae's bestie, happy ending! author's note; hi guys this fic is finally back in the nct tumblr world,, i have this posted on my main blog for blue lock under the name 'rationalism' if u see any name errors that's why,, enjoy!!

Whenever the sun meets its peak at the high dawning point in the sky is when Jaehyun knows it's a perfectly acceptable time to visit his oh-so-beloved mother. If he could, he would spend every waking moment with her - he’s a momma’s boy through and through - not only because she birthed him and taught him everything he knows, but because she’s kind and good. She’s also one of - scratch that - she’s the only person he can stand to be around for more than twenty four hours - and he takes great pride in having such a wonderful woman in his life.

However, despite how dearly he holds his mother to his heart, the issue with visiting her at this time of day is that she’s in her art studio. A place he loathes more than having to wear wet socks with sneakers. While it’s a beautiful space, with high wooden beams and floor to ceiling windows, he finds himself nauseous at the mere sight of the countless tubes of oil and acrylic paints. It’s not that the smell or colors are distasteful, it’s the fact that no matter how hard he squints and struggles, he cannot fathom what the simple color red looks like.

Complete black and white color blindness isn’t a life threatening condition in the slightest, but for Jaehyun, it feels as if he’s being stabbed through the sternum at any notion of the changing leaves or colorful streaks of light across the sun-setting sky.

He doesn’t hate his mother for being an artist, he simply hates the art itself.

And he especially hates pieces of art like the one sitting before him, now. With the blobs of squares and triangles against the supposedly white canvas, sitting perky on the easel as if to mock him - he decides to reach his hand out - and remind himself how emotionally detached acrylic paints make him feel. It’s wet, he observes, rubbing his thumb and pointer finger together to mix the possibly different hues. Jaehyun hopes he didn’t ruin the artist’s painting in any way, he wouldn’t know if he’d accidentally smeared shading or contrasting primaries - but surely the artist could fix it in a jiffy.

“Do you like it?”

Well, that certainly isn’t his mother’s voice.

“I tried using cooler tones in the corner here, and then migrated towards warmth in the lower portion.” You’re beside him now, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with his position, and completely ignoring his personal space - all while he’s never met you before this day. Your finger is extended, pointing towards the artistic decisions you’re elaborating on that, in all honesty, he doesn’t give two shits about. “I’m thinking about sketching some paper cranes on top of it all, I want it to represent the change of seasons.”

“What do you think?”

You’re staring at him now, bright eyes shining with curiosity. Jaehyun is at a loss for words, mostly due to your unannounced appearance in the studio, but also because you’re possibly the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid his eyes on - which is shocking, considering the sight of thick paint smudged against a person’s face typically sends him running the opposite direction. He’s never felt an immediate connection to the women of his past - however you, a strange girl who resembles a dog waiting for its treat, has his heart beating at twice the rate.

“I like this shape.” Jaehyun purses his lips into a straight line, never having felt so awkward in his whole life. “This square is nice, too.”

You look utterly unimpressed with his evaluation. Your nose is scrunched in distaste and the fold beneath your right eye seems to be twitching in disapproval for your own artwork. “That’s all that you like?” You step ever so slightly closer to him, chin tilted up to meet his gaze, before retreating quickly and coddling your painting. “Perhaps I overestimated my color palette. I really thought it would be the outstanding moment of this piece, but I guess I could rework it if the shapes are all that matter—”

“Did you touch my painting?”

Oh boy, he’s in for it now.

A nervous laugh leaves his mouth, embarrassing him further as he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck in an attempt to look casual, only for you to grab his wrist out of thin air. “Oh my god, you did!” Your mouth is agape, inspecting his tattered skin in shock - yet somehow he knows that you aren’t truly upset with him - you don't seem like that kind of person. “Did you not realize that you’ve got scarlet red all over your palms?”

Jaehyun’s mind is blank, his ability to form coherent sentences is gone, and he can only muster up the cheesiest, most terribly dreadful joke that he’s said in the twenty three years he’s been alive.

“I guess you caught me red handed?”

There’s a moment of silence, with the two of you displaying the most aloof expressions either of you have ever made, until your face lights up with laughter. He doesn’t understand what could possibly be so funny - his joke was awful - but the sound of your contagious fits of giggles make his heart feel a little bit warmer in a place that he commonly feels suffocated in. For the first time, the studio gives him a sense of comfort rather than distress - and he knows it's because he’s developing a very clear crush on the pretty girl beside him.

You’re hysterical, resembling that of insanity while Jaehyun is simply stuck in time. He can’t tell if he should be steadying you before you trip over your own feet or if he should simply take his leave and forget this day ever happened.

“I don’t mean to be rude,” he begins, watching you wipe a tear of laughter from the crinkle of your right eye, “but why are you here? Do you have an appointment, because I could’ve sworn there weren’t any other people that were allowed in the studio at this hour—”

“Oh, I do know you!” The volume of your voice just seems to get louder and louder. “You must be Miss Jeong’s son! She always mentions how lovely her little boy is, I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you! Though, I expected you to be like six or seven, not my age. She should’ve mentioned that you were handsome, not cute - she really chose every adjective other than the ones that wouldn’t make you sound like a primary schooler.”

Does she ever stop talking? Jaehyun doesn’t think he’s ever heard another person ramble on-and-on like you do. Normally he’d have ended the conversation by now, walked away without a second thought of whether he acted rude or not, but he knows that his mother would strangle him if he was to blatantly disregard her current favorite student. The student that she loves telling him stories about at the dinner table every Sunday night as he’s just trying to eat his fingerling potatoes in peace.

The same student who he’s somehow enjoying talking to - though it’s mostly just you talking to his blank face - and is causing a soft yellow blush to form on his cheeks. He doesn’t actually know if yellow is the color related to blushing, but he thinks he’s read it somewhere before.

“Anyways, to answer your question—”

Jaehyun feels like he’d asked you hours ago.

“—I’d walked all the way to the train station and realized I’d forgotten my wallet here - which is strange because normally I never forget anything. I’m a very organized person—”

Yeah, he doesn’t believe that.

“—and then I had to run all the way back here—”

Your shoes are scuffed. You definitely tripped on the way.

“—where I accidentally ran into a stroller…poor baby—”

Yep. Tripped.

“—which led me to you!”

You’re smiling now and Jaehyun doesn’t think he’s seen so many teeth shining at him in all of his life. God, do you ever run out of energy? No matter, he knows exactly where your missing item is. The anonymous wallet had been the first thing his eyes had grazed over when striding towards your artwork - good thing it’s only an arm’s reach away.

He snatches the wallet from the art easel and is pleasantly surprised by the quality of the possibly monochromatic leather. The clasp is simple, requiring just one twist before the contents of your identity are laid out before him. “Well, it’s nice to meet you,” Jaehyun recites the name written on your license and holds the items out to you, to which you reach out, eager to reunite with your belongings. However, at the last second he waves it in the air - away from your dying fingertips - and clicks his tongue two times. “Try not to lose it again. It’s a luxury brand, isn’t it? I like the black color.”

“Black?” Shit. The tilt of confusion your head makes indicates that your wallet is not, in fact, black. “I’m either stupid or color blind, but this is red.”

Before Jaehyun can respond, he’s saved by the bell. Well, technically his savior isn’t an actual bell, but you get the gist. “Miss Jeong!” Thank god she’s finally here to distract you. He’s been fighting to maintain his pride throughout your entire interaction. “I made an extra trip to the studio and ran into your son, here! You weren’t lying when you said he’s a little quiet - honestly, I feel like I’ve been talking to myself this whole time.”

You quite literally have been doing that very thing for the past ten minutes.

“Oh, Jaehyun! Have you been acting rude?” His mother’s expression is tense, stricter than the time he ‘accidentally’ took her (grey?) Kia Soul on a joyride that one weekend he and Johnny decided to go on a midnight run to the department store. “Please don’t mind him at all, dear. You see, he doesn’t exactly get out much - his social skills might be a little underdeveloped.”

She can’t actually be saying this right now. This is exactly why he hasn’t had a girlfriend in months - his mother embarrasses him in front of every pretty girl they come across in the first two minutes of saying ‘hello’. It isn’t that Jaehyun is a terrible flirt - which he is, but he likes to deny it - it’s that he loves his mother so much that he can’t bear to tell her that her attempts at ‘hooking him up’ are always bound to fail.

However, you don’t appear to be phased by her words. If anything, you’re actually pleased by the sound of him being socially impaired.

“That’s actually perfect!”

What.

The.

Fuck?

“He can be my portrait model!” You’re still talking. Please, for the love of God, stop talking. “You know how I’ve been trying to become better skilled in the emotional aspect of my paintings, he could definitely help me out by showing anxiety and embarrassment - and you’ve been telling me it’s about time that I found myself a model.”

The endless trail of words that continue to string from your mouth seem to reach their end. Rather than speaking in spitfire, you’re now crazily staring at Jaehyun, himself. Both of your fists are clenched together in a pleading hold and he doesn’t think that you’ve blinked since the start of your conversational rampage - but despite the absurdity of your proclamation, he believes you have good intentions. There really is no reason to deny the request - after all, he’d be helping out his mother in the process, she does love having successful students - but he just can’t imagine himself spending any more time in the dreadfully grey studio than he already does.

“I don’t think that would be a very good idea, ______.” His mother catches your words before he has a chance to give you his own oral letter of rejection. “Jaehyun’s never been one for art.”

“Oh.”

All you have to say is ‘oh’?

“I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you continue. The expression on your face is suddenly stern. Has he offended you in some way by saying no? “I’ll figure something else out, Miss Jeong. I apologize if I overstepped.”

You’re bowing your head before him now, and Jaehyun is shell shocked. His first impression of you was undoubtedly a dud, considering how you actually do seem to have a rational bone in your body despite the hyperactivity you displayed just moments before. While he’s mustering up a response, you lift your eyes - lashes fluttering like upwards brush strokes on a canvas - and send a small smile his way. It’s as if you’re silently apologizing to him for the undivided attention you tormented him with, but he doesn’t want you to apologize.

He just doesn’t know how to say that he actually liked your personality.

God, he’s so bad at flirting.

“Thanks for finding my wallet, though.” Your fingers are suddenly touching his, momentarily grazing against his skin as you pluck your wallet from his hands. There’s no chance that you haven’t noticed the rising heat that’s currently warming the blossoms of his cheeks, and he hopes that you find it endearing. While he isn’t great with words, he likes to think that he may be at least a little bit cute. His mother always calls him a ‘cutie’ - which he appreciates, but it’s also so degrading for someone of his age. “Maybe I’ll be forgetful more often, now.”

He hopes you’ll start being more forgetful, too.

You’ve left your entire bag this time.

He can’t tell if you’re trying to be subtle and coy with the budding feelings that’re growing between the two of you, and you’re just as awful at flirting as he is - or if you’ve just given up on leaving small signs of attraction. Honestly, in the past few weeks of you leaving paintbrushes and lanyards in the studio, he’d assumed it was all naturally an accident. This, though? How do you expect him to believe that you left your entire satchel in the studio? Sure, you can be a little dense, but not that dense.

It’s obvious that you’ve begun to lose track of your belongings for the simple reason that you enjoy partaking in the awkward exchange of items when you ‘hastily’ return to the empty renovated greenhouse and get to act surprised to see him standing there with his arms full of things with your name written all over them. In fact, this instance has happened so often that Jaehyun is beginning to believe that he actually enjoys it, too.

Sometimes he thinks that maybe you should just write your name on him to speed up this dreadful ‘will they, won’t they’ process that you’ve been pacing together.

He likes you. He really really likes you, and you both know it.

You’d picked up on his feelings from the second time you met - when he willingly stayed behind in the studio for an extra two hours just to hear you ramble about the difference between heavy and soft body acrylic paints. There was something about the way you grinned at him. How your chin would angle upwards to his height in order to have a proper conversation. How you weren’t afraid to say anything and everything that was on your sporadic mind. How your eyes would sparkle at the dedicated eye contact he was making - letting you know that he was hanging on to every word that left your lips (which he just recently found out are pink - and boy does he wish to know what that undoubtedly lovely color looks like against your skin).

He hates to compare you to a painting - which he still finds a positively dreadful blob of nothingness - but to him, you are one. You’re a captivating piece of art hanging on the walls of the nationally acclaimed museum in his mind.

A captivating piece of art whose art of subtlety is extremely lacking, considering that your phone number is quite literally painted on the largest white canvas your easel can hold, in bold lettering that he would have to be visually blind to miss, plastered behind the hiding place of your bag.

‘P.S. It's written in red paint. I know you have a thing for red.”

As much as he likes you, you can be such a pain in his ass. The bane of his existence, if you will.

It pains him to notice how he hadn’t thought twice about typing the digits into his text bar, smiling to himself at the sight of your make-shift contact with the horrid selfie you’d taken on his phone to be your future contact picture. Your hair is an utter mess, with flecks of paint scattered across your hairline - which, to be honest, look like dandruff to him with their lack of vivid color, but he told you that they resemble snowflakes. He lied - but what you don’t know doesn’t hurt you.

Without hesitating, he types a singular ‘hey’ before backtracking. What if you don’t know that it’s him texting you? What if you think that it’s a random stranger who just so happened to be in the art studio and thought to add your contact information to their phone? He better be more clear.

‘Hello, ______. You know me.’

Perfect.

In less than a split second, you respond. He can feel his nerves itching at the sight of the grey text bubble popping in and out of view. Jaehyun can’t even remember the last time his heart beat so fast. Perhaps when he was standing in front of his secondary school health classroom and he accidentally mistook a photo of the urinary system with the ovaries during a speech about the female menstrual cycle? The stream of liquid projected against the white board was in fact not what he thought it was (how was he supposed to see the difference between red and yellow?), which turned into a horribly disgusting presentation that Johnny still bothers him about to this day. That was dreadful - but this is definitely equally as dreadful, if not more.

‘Stalker much?’ Huh? ‘Hi though, Jae. That text was very…you.’

‘You added my number pretty quickly.’ Man, you text really fast. ‘You just couldn’t resist me, could you?’

He doesn’t know what to say back. It’s as if his mind has been scraped raw of all romantic material that one would usually use in this situation - the situation in which an unbelievably pretty girl is talking to him through a phone screen. Jaehyun is completely frozen in place, time, and thought. The only part of him that isn’t paralyzed is the hole in his chest that is beginning to be thawed by you. His frozen heart of past relationships has found its fire - and oh does it burn for you.

“Cat got your tongue?”

Where the fuck did you come from?

Swiveling on his heel, he turns to face your approaching figure. Your footsteps are lighter than air, likely being the reason as to how you managed to stealthily sneak in so quietly while he had been distracted with his phone. The light denim jeans that cover you from waist to ankles are perhaps his favorite pair you own. You’ve painted on them over time, sketching out a garden of patterns that don’t require color to appreciate. Your artistic ability is uncanny - he can’t deny the fact that you’re incredibly skilled - and he believes that you should be given an award for making ‘art’s number one hater’ a growing fan.

“You left your bag.” No shit, Captain Obvious. “Do you want it back?”

He’s so bad at this.

You skip towards him, your left foot following your right in a rhythm of peppiness, and lean up towards him with a shine in your eyes. God, you look so pretty. Sure, seeing you from a comfortable distance with an easel separating your bodies was nice and all, but when you pull stunts like this - with no room for him to scurry off and run - he actually takes the time to digest your features in their true beauty. You’re the artist, yet he seems to be the one who’s always studying you.

“Do you have any plans for today?” You ask in a curious tone. Your hands are held together behind your back as you send him a beaming grin with an upturned lip. “—because I was thinking about grabbing some tea, and it would be so unfortunate if I had to go all alone and sit by myself with all of those strangers around me. Who knows what could happen? If only there were someone who could protect me in case a sleazy guy asks for my number…”

Are you trying to manipulate him, right now?

“I’ve got nothing to do today.”

—because he’ll gladly let you do so.

The peaks of your eyebrows raise in surprise, not expecting him to accept the offer so quickly. Over the short time you’ve known one another, you’ve noticed that Jaehyun’s reluctance to spend one-on-one time with you has dwindled. He’s slowly becoming more comfortable in your presence and whatever inner turmoil that he’s facing is fading into the tide of your raging tsunami. There’s a peaceful gaze behind his brown eyes, now. One that you love to study whenever he isn’t looking your way (which isn’t often).

“Then it’s a date!” Surging forwards, you take his arm in yours and link yourselves together. He’s initially shocked by the immediate physical connection you’ve managed to make within mere seconds, but he thinks that he likes it. It’s been so long since he’s even held hands with a girl, so he’s understandably tense, but you’re giving him time to adjust. After all, scaring him away would be your last intention. “I’ll even pay for your drink, since you were kind enough to find my lost satchel.”

“Yeah, your lost satchel was so hard to find.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He smiles to himself.

Yes, you do.

He isn’t sure how, but he’s somehow burned his tongue again.

“Shit!” Jaehyun hurriedly places his mug down onto the circular wooden table that separates the two of you, while attempting to be gentle since he doesn’t want to waste the perfectly tasty coffee that you paid for. He groans, dabbing the corners of his lips with one of the complimentary paper napkins. “Why does it get me every time?”

This is perhaps the third week in a row that you and him have ditched the studio and decided to claim the neighboring cafe as your designated date spot - though you’re still an unofficially exclusive couple. Unofficial as in Jaehyun hasn’t found the nerves to ask you to be his girlfriend, and exclusive as in neither of you are nor want to see other people. It’s a confusing situation for both parties to be in, but he just can’t seem to take that next step with you no matter how hard he tries to push himself towards the ideal solution.

Jaehyun is a rationalist. He takes in the information given to him through interactions and associations, working through it with logistics on his mind, and tries to find the best outcome. It’s how he’s lived every hour and every day of his adulthood, and he’s fairly set in stone with his mannerisms at this point. He always known who he is, what he wants, and how to obtain those things. What he didn’t know, though, was that an unpredictable variable (you) would crash into his life and disarray the routine that he’d been building for twenty-three years.

The hypothesis born of the situation isn’t a difficult one to solve, after all he’s had it written down for a month: if Jaehyun finds the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, then you’ll likely say yes and the two of you will live happily ever after. Easy, right?

Wrong. He’s a chicken.

“Here. This might help you cool down.”

Your arm is extended, offering him your drink of the day without hesitation. Every time you come here, arm-in-arm, you order something different. ‘There’s no fun without surprise’, is what you tell him after the consistent strange glances he sends your way when you’re ordering, and he can’t help but disagree. You’re very different individuals - and that difference is extremely apparent with the light, mint garnished tea in your glass compared to the dark roast coffee in his.

“Thanks, ______, you’re a lifesaver.” He sighs in relief as the cool liquid flows down his throat in an internal waterfall. “Holy shit, this is actually so good.”

You laugh, “I would hope so. I only got it because of the photo on the menu. It’s like a rainbow of color.”

And there it is. The thing that isolates him the most from your world.

As much as he likes you, which is more than he can explain, he can’t help but have that itching thought at the back of his mind that you’ll never truly be able to connect with one another. You bask in the beauty of the world around you. From the apparent golden sun showers and bouquets of stark red roses - two things that you’ve described to him in great detail amidst your walks through the farmer’s market on Saturday mornings - to the countless brush strokes against the white canvas at his mother’s studio, you adore a world in color.

It’s a viewpoint that’s shaped who you are, from infantry to your current age of twenty-two, and it’s something that you’ll never be able to let go of.

To be quite frank, it scares him. It keeps him up at night knowing that seeing the world through your eyes is impossible. That it’s a far off dream that is unobtainable, taunting him in his mind and heart like a bone dangling in front of a dog’s face. He wishes that he could admire the blue streaked skies and emerald green ferns that line the streets of the city. He yearns to feel overcome with pride at the sight of your watercolor drafts - which you attempt to show him after every class session to no avail - and congratulate you on the progress you’re making. There are so many things that he dreams of doing with you, dreams that exist solely in your world, as they’ll never be possible in his.

He hasn’t officially asked you to be his yet, because how could he?

How could he bind you to him? You’d be miserable looking through his eyes - having to see only hues of black, white, and grey, similar to the pencil sketches that you’ve openly shown your hatred for in front of him. ‘There’s just nothing there,’ is what you mumble to yourself. ‘No life, no anything without color.’ To which you then drop a single ounce of paint against the seemingly dreadful piece of art - and the sparkle in your eyes as it comes to life is something that he loves to see but can’t understand…

…as you see the world in a way that he can never understand.

Jaehyun doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to tell you about his condition. It would end everything all at once, and he isn’t sure how he would recover from that kind of heartbreak. You’re so blissfully unaware of how much conflict runs through his veins on a daily basis. Hell, you don’t even notice how he orders a singular black coffee every time you approach the counter together. You don’t see how he struggles to agree with you as you admire the assortment of blended beverages with a forced smile on his face. You don’t understand why he chooses to indulge in such a bitter drink and make sure to comment on it every single time.

He can’t blame you, though - it really is disgusting - but he also can’t tell you that he orders his coffee black since it’s a universal drink that appears the same to everyone who sees it. At least when he’s holding the steaming mug between his large palms, he knows that it appears to you as it does to him. That the divide that’s ripping a ravine through your connected hands is lessened in a sense - and you’re truly viewing one thing as the same.

Which is why he sits pretty and appreciates the short time that you do spend together, and suffers through piping hot coffee three times a week with no interruptions.

“I think I’ve made some progress on my portfolio.”

Your drink has been returned to your hands now. The small, clear glass is ringing as you tap the sides with your fingernails. It’s somewhat soothing, the rhythm following the tune of one of your favorite songs that Jaehyun happens to know very well after walking in on you in the middle of ‘art therapy’, in which you blast the music at full volume and deafen all other sounds. You have a tendency to be impatient - art being the only thing that can really pin you down for a long period of time - yet you’ve made room in your heart for Jaehyun despite this.

“Really?” Jaehyun dabs his mouth carefully, being ever the proper suitor in your presence. “My mom hasn’t given you any recent critiques?”

“No, she has.” As your words continue, you take a long sip of your tea. He can feel his cheeks flush while you swallow. He loves anything you do. “Just little comments about negative space and color theory, but I’m getting there.”

“Nice.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that.

“Yeah, nice.”

Despite his seemingly rude reaction, you’re still gazing at him with a smile on your face. It isn’t an exceedingly joyful smile or one of excitement, but something of contentedness. You’ve become comfortable around him - shedded the hyperactive layers of skin that you display to onlooking strangers - and have begun to share the side of yourself that only your bedroom walls know. Seeing this side of you has made him fall even harder. Knowing that someone so confident, so bold, is just like him - caring so much about first impressions and likeability - and has their own insecurities is validating. Validating in the sense that you find him special enough to throw away the filter and be your true self in his presence.

“You know,” you begin in a wistful tone, “you aren’t a man of many words, Jae - and if I’m being totally honest, my patience is running out.”

He hopes this isn’t going where he thinks it is.

He’s not letting you ask him out before he can—

“What am I to you?”

Oh.

Your eyes are giving him an expectant look, now.

What the hell is he supposed to say to that?

This is the quietest you’ve ever been, you aren’t even swirling the star-shaped ice cubes in your strawberry lemon tea.

Why can’t he think of anything to say?

His silence is causing you to furrow your eyebrows in concern.

This is so embarrassing. Just say something. Anything.

“You’re my mom’s student.”

Anything but that.

“I’m…” the words at the tip of your tongue seem to dissolve like damp sugar cubes, “I’m your mom’s student.”

Your sentence is more of a statement than a question. It’s as if there’s a machine in your brain, working through his given answer and comparing all of the other possibilities he could’ve said. There were endless responses to your inquiry, and he somehow managed to pick the worst one.

He needs to fix this. How can he fix this?

“You’re not just a student, though.” His words are tumbling over one another in somersaults and you seem to perk up at his continuity. The hope in your heart grows a little bit larger, pulsating and yearning for him to say exactly what you’d been wanting for weeks-on-weeks. “You’re my mom’s special student.”

Oh God, he made it worse.

“What?” Jaehyun tries to reach for your hand in an attempt to compensate for his actions through physical touch, but you retaliate and instinctively jerk away. You quickly stand, drink in hand, and back away from him as he follows like a lost puppy. Your head is shaking from right to left, disbelief exerting from the pores of your skin like poison - sentencing him with death while it seeps through his gaping mouth and empty palms. “I’m a special student?”

How the hell are you so fast?

Within seconds the two of you are at odds outside of the building. The weather is somewhat chilly - springtime having just come around with the cherry blossoms in full bloom - and it’s probably a beautiful day with the petals raining down on the pavement. You’d usually make a comment about how wonderful the horticulture was outside of the shop, but now you’re stomping over every fallen flower and budding stem that lies in the way of your rage-filled path. He’d always thought of you as a gentle soul, but apparently even gentle souls have their breaking points - and he never dreamed that he’d be yours.

“If I’m so special, what makes me different from the girl before me and the one before her?” This is the first time you’ve ever raised your voice at him. “Did you take all of them out for drinks? Did they all get to spend one-on-one time with their mentor’s ‘handsome’ son? Did you lead all of them on, too? Jaehyun, what kind of answer is that?”

You’ve found yourselves in an alcove now - about a block from the cafe in a small garden nestled between two buildings. The blossoming trees continue to surround you from all sides, perfectly framing the tragic picture of him saying anything and everything you absolutely do not want to hear. A large sigh leaves your lips, heaving from your chest as if he’s popped a balloon and is pushing all of the air out with the strength of his smooth hands.

“That’s not what I meant!” He pauses as you halt in place, slowly turning to face him like you're something out of a horror movie - a monster who’s ready to murder their prey. A gulp runs down his Adam’s apple. You’re terrifying when upset. “Please, just let me explain!”

“Explain what?” Jaehyun flinches at your volume. “If you want to explain yourself so badly then tell me why the hell would you say something like that?”

“Sure, you aren’t the best with banter or having a crush - but dear God, you cannot possibly be that dense.” This is getting bad. “I’ve left hundreds of hints! Every single goddamn day - and you’ve picked up on all of them! You know, I thought that when you’d hold my hand or kiss my cheek that you actually meant something by it. I figured ‘he spends so much time with me, he can’t possibly not like me’, but no. I’m just a student.”

Your face is fuming with every dreadful word that comes out of your mouth. “Oh, sorry. I’m a special student.”

If this were a scene in an animated film, your hair would be on fire now. Flames as high as mountain tops would be spiking in sharp peaks at every end of sentence and statement spitting from your mouth. Your normally warm irises would be drawn as ice cold, not leaving any room for life as they skate across his timid features - wishing for him to reach freezing level so you could smash him into a million pieces.

You’d always told him that red and blue - fire and ice - were two things that you admired most. With their ever changing states of matter and forceful power amidst the seasons, he found himself believing as you do. Jaehyun actually learned to appreciate their vast palette as if he could see it with his own eyes - but now? Now he thinks that they’re the two worst things in the universe - as their destructive nature has decided that their target is him, and he has absolutely no defenses prepared.

“I should’ve caught on sooner, shouldn’t I have?” You’re still going, hot tears building up and threatening to stream down your cheeks. Never in his life has Jaehyun been at the receiving end of such anger - and never in his life has he learned how to manage a situation as such. So, he does what any clueless man would do - he returns the anger.

“You’re not even listening to me!” His hands are violently moving while his words cut like knives. “You never listen to me!”

“I never listen to you?” He’s apparently hit another nerve. “Is that some kind of sick joke? Jae, all I do is listen to you! It may not look like it, but I see the way you tense whenever I talk about my passions and dreams. I notice the way your face drains when I’m asking you for your opinion on my works in progress. Sometimes it’s like I can physically hear your eyes rolling when they see me walk into the studio with my bag of brushes and materials. Yet, you think that I don’t listen? I take note of every single thing that you do when you’re around me, because I don’t want to miss out on a single moment with you, and you don’t even care!”

He can’t believe that you’re pinning this on him.

“How could you even say that?” Jaehyun can’t tell who’s in the right or wrong anymore - all he knows is that if he doesn’t stop speaking, you’ll walk away forever. “I’ve never cared about anyone as much as you! I’ve done my best to entertain your interests and the absurd things you ask of me—”

“Well, your best hasn’t been enough.”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding.

“Are you being serious, right now?”

Your eyes are stoney, rock solid with stubbornness as you refuse to accept his side of the story and he knows that you won’t be budging from the beliefs that you’re choosing to hold against him. Jaehyun doesn’t know how everything went so wrong so fast, but he does know that he doesn’t have what it takes to save the situationship that he mistakenly put the two of you in.

“What the fuck did I do wrong that you resent me this much? Not even an hour ago all you wanted was to see me get down on one knee and profess my ‘undying’ love for you.” He’s so angry. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this angry. “Now I’m some asshole who doesn’t give a shit about your wellbeing? If everything I’ve done hasn’t been enough, then I might as well go fuck myself, right? I’m sorry I’m not perfect like you! I’m sorry I can’t see the world through crystal lenses like you! I’m sorry that I’m not good enough for you!”

His face feels wet. When did he start to cry? Was it ten minutes ago? Five? Just now? The hurricane of emotions that he’s putting himself through is more than he’s endured in years - his mental blockage of his condition finally coming to light as his heart runs off of the rails - and you’ve definitely seemed to notice considering the concern etched into your expression.

“I was never going to be perfect for you,” he begins with a softer tone. Perhaps his hot bundle of rage has subsided for a few moments. “I can’t be with you. I can’t understand how you see the world. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life listening to you ask me all of these questions and opinions on your work when I can’t even see it fully.”

You’re so close to him. Somewhere in the flurry of words, you took a step in his direction. “Jae, what’re you talking about?”

As he bites his bottom lip with the fear of judgment raging in his mind, his secret is set free.

“I’ve always liked this shirt on you,” he solemnly smiles, “This shade’s my favorite color that you wear.”

You look up at him, pulling at the fabric against your chest in confusion. “Red?”

“Grey.”

He’s laughing lightly, making up for the thoughtful silence that you’ve found yourself in. It’s like he can physically see the gears turning in your head as they attempt to make sense out of his statement. “It’s more of a rich grey - almost black - and it compliments your skin tone. You know, my mom used to tell me that the way to a woman’s heart is through compliments. I’ve always tried my best to do that, but it clearly hasn’t been working.”

His hands somehow find yours as he shares the inevitable truth he’d been hiding so hard - and with a deep gulp, his secret is finally exposed.

“After all, how could I ever reach someone’s heart without even knowing what color their eyes are?”

He misses you. He can’t help it, but he does.

The memories he has with you are a cassette tape on autoplay - constantly running through his mind on repeat, and always ending with the awful confrontation that you’d left each other with. Jaehyun wishes he hadn’t raised his voice. He wishes that he would’ve been honest with you from the very beginning, but he hadn’t, and there’s no changing the past. All he has now are two empty hands that would much rather be interlaced with your paint-covered fingers.

“How much longer do you think you’re going to be moping?” Johnny’s call is distant from the turning gears within Jaehyun’s brain. He’s sure that his best friend has grown tired of his constant state of melancholy - having been forced to be his support system after you walked out the door - and Jaehyun feels awful about it. If he could, he’d rip his heart from his chest and allow you to step on it. To stomp and tear through the organs just as you’d done to those poor bystanding cherry blossoms on the sidewalk.

“As long as she’s still upset with me.” He groans as his forehead hits the marble of the island counter. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Yeah, well we already knew that.” The dim-eyed boy beside him scoffs while taking yet another drink of his apple juice - which he has unfortunately had to drink for the past hour and a half since Jaehyun had somehow consumed his small supply of alcohol within the past few weeks that the two of you hadn’t been speaking. “I was really rooting for you, man. I thought she was the one to break your cycle.”

“Cycle?”

What the hell does he mean by ‘cycle’?

“Oh, you know,” Johnny continues without even taking a breath, “The cycle of life you’ve got going on with your inability to actually attract girls.”

Jaehyun hates him.

“You’re an asshole.” He grumbles, taking his own swig of the pint of orange juice he found in the back of his fridge. Is it expired? Likely yes. Does Jaehyun care, at all? Definitely not. Is he even more pissed off that he doesn’t understand the irony of why it’s called orange juice? He doesn’t want to answer that question. “An unhelpful asshole who should definitely stay over and cook dinner for me since he wants to make up for being said ‘unhelpful asshole’.”

Johnny scoffs, shaking his head whilst the thin, soft strands of his hair flit back and forth. His right eyebrow raises in a mocking expression, “You need to get yourself back out there, man. You’ll be old and grey if you keep waiting for the perfect girl to come knocking on your door, so just talk to her. Just fucking talk to her and put me out of my misery.”

“Are you trying to make this about you, right now?” Jaehyun stares at his best friend in utter disbelief, but he’s not truly upset. He knows that Johnny holds good wishes for him in all manners of life - this being no exception - and takes his words to heart. He’s right. Of course, he’s going to lose you if he doesn’t even try to get you back. “The sun must be falling out of the sky because I’m actually considering following your advice.”

“That’s a pretty picture to imagine,” his best friend chuckles, causing Jaehyun to roll his eyes. What’s the sensation that everyone has with mentioning imagery every five seconds? “Just talk to her, man.” Johnny continues, “Please, I’m all out of advice.”

Jaehyun takes his best friend’s pleas to heart. It is quite ridiculous that he’s spending his time depressed and lonesome when he could be reconciling with you. Perhaps it’s his fragile masculinity acting out and refusing to take blame for the situation, although he’s fully aware it’s completely his fault that you’re upset with him.

It’s difficult for the gears to begin turning in Jaehyun’s head. They’re covered in brittle rust that’s been creeping deep into the crevices of his mind for his entire life - slithering down his spine towards his blackened heart that you had only just begun to breathe life into. He misses the feeling of spring that came when you called. The freshwater rain of your laughter and budding blossoms of your smile that washed away his loneliness and replaced the awful emotion with an overgrown garden of bliss. He still doesn’t understand how he managed to mow that garden down with one sentence. He might as well have taken a chainsaw and brutally hacked into every connection that he’d managed to make with you in your time of knowing each other.

Now he’s going to be on his knees begging for forgiveness with his hands stained by the minced grass. Does grass stain green or yellow? Hopefully not brown, dear lord. He’ll be buried deep into apologies that should definitely be rehearsed, but he knows he’s not an artist with words and he won’t bother to waste your time with crumpled-up ‘I’m sorry’ notes and improvised tears.

You deserve nothing but the best - so much more than he’s been giving you and he needs you to hear those words come straight from his mouth.

When did you begin to mean so much to him? Jaehyun doesn’t even know.

It could’ve been when you showed up to his concert unannounced, with first row seats and a booming cheer that he never knew he desired. ‘C’mon, Jae! I know you can do better than that! Sing louder!’ He nearly tripped at the sound of your voice, and falling on his face was the last thing he wanted to do in front of his group - but to be completely honest, he doesn’t remember much of insecurities on stage that day. Jaehyun was solely focused on performing well for you. The world stopped and he was given all the time needed to impress you. You give him a reason to be better, a selfless reason to do good.

Perhaps it was when you’d shown him around your homey apartment, with maple art easels and splattered canvases lining the walls, and watched with glee as he made his best attempt at a finger painting (which may or may not have ended up looking like two worms kissing). ‘It’s abstract’, you’d say every time he found something new that was wrong with the art piece, ‘All it needs is a home. See?’ You hung his shitty little sketchbook paper on your living room wall, right next to your TV for the whole world to see. The way you stood there staring in awe still rattles his brain. You’ve always been able to find beauty in even the smallest things.

Or maybe his heart had begun to beat a little faster that Saturday night on the way out of the theater. The romance of the film the two of you just witnessed was still on Jaehyun’s mind, provoking his alcohol-induced body to make a pathetic attempt at holding your hand - which resulted in him accidentally knocking you over into a street puddle that swallowed the heel of your shoe. ‘I needed to take a shower anyway, Jae, it’s fine!’ Your smile continued to be bright despite the low temperature and sprinkling rain, and he can recall wondering how you managed to stay so positive in such a dreary situation. As you discarded your soggy heels into a nearby trashcan and skipped barefoot on the pavement, you called, ‘Come on! Dance with me!’ The shared laughter between the two of you echoed through the seemingly empty streets that surrounded you - hands connected as you swung in circles around each other and fell over one too many times, until he carried your sleeping body home. He doesn’t think anyone’s ever been able to make him laugh as hard.

The way the corners of your eyes crinkle amidst fits of giggles is his favorite image to replay. He doesn’t need to know the color to be able to see how beautiful they are - to appreciate the blinding sparkle that overwhelms your irises when he accidentally trips over the uneven sidewalk or knocks over your painting station - or even when he unintentionally makes a sexual innuendo that you just so happen to pick up on. ‘That’s a love hotel, Jae! Why would I have stayed there before?’ It was almost as if you were conducting a symphony of glorious laughter that night. The violins played the tune of your voice in a higher octave and the cellos added a punch everytime you’d bite your lip in an attempt to calm down. He hadn’t known what a love hotel was intended for before that night, but he’d also made the mistake to say, ‘I wouldn’t mind going to my first one with you, it could be a first for both of us.’ and you still haven’t let him live it down. Jaehyun’s honest with himself for the most part. He’s awkward, insufferable, and a bore to be around - yet, for some odd and unknown reason, those are your favorite things about him. Why?

Why is it that he can’t function like a normal person when your eyes meet his?

Why do his words rearrange themselves and become complete gibberish when he attempts to woo you with his charm?

What is it that keeps him coming back to you, despite holding such deep hatred for the things that you love most?

“I need to text her.” Jaehyun feels his chest vibrate as he finally makes a decision, the words pouring from his mouth in a short word vomit - forcing Johnny to piece together the jumbled mess and attempt to comprehend whatever it was that his best friend was trying to say, to which he jumps up from his seat at the island and aggressively pats Jaehyun on the back.

“That’s what I’ve been saying, dumbass! Get those fingers movin’!”

His phone falls into his hands in a millisecond, with Johnny eagerly awaiting to hear his poetry. He’s grateful to have such a supportive friend. Jaehyun knows that there aren’t many people who would be willing to put up with him for so long - having been moping around and complaining day-and-night of relationship problems that were solely caused by him - and he can’t imagine not having his support. Hopefully he’ll be able to introduce you, one day. You’ll both give him so much shit for his attitude. Oh well. It’ll all be worth it having two people he loves get along.

…

Did he just…

What did—

There’s no way.

Did he really just use that word? That godforsaken word?

He’s trembling. Jaehyun’s phone is shaking in his hands as he finally comes to the realization that he does, with his entire heart and being, love you. In an instant, his entire world scrambles together with rapid dashes and line art that he can’t even comprehend. There’s no rules to follow with these types of feelings - this insistent need to see you. Hold you. Kiss you.

Fuck, he wants to kiss you. He can’t think of anything else he’d rather be doing.

Like tapping raindrops that never cease their fall, his fingertips move against the keypad in a rhythmic motion - singing a song of love that can’t be contained into a simple lullaby. His heart pours out into the message, apology after apology being pasted in paragraphs, and hopes with his whole soul that you’ll find it in yourself to at least see him in person. There’s no way you won’t. Jaehyun knows you well enough now that he’s certain he’ll be seeing you again. All he needed to do was take the first step towards forgiveness, and he’s finally willing to be vulnerable and own up to his inability to be honest about his feelings, because he loves you. He loves you and he wants to tell you a hundred times, a thousand times, and a million times until you beg him to shut the hell up and kiss you.

‘I’ll be at the studio tonight. I miss you, ______, and I’m sorry.’

He ends the message with a final apology, begging fate that you’ll read it in time to meet him while he still has courage - and with that, he’s on his way to the place he hates most, awaiting the person whom he loves most.

An hour has passed - well technically it’s been fifty-seven minutes, but who’s counting?

He’s counting.

The sun went into hiding ages ago and the moon now stalks him as he sits in his chair, lonely with two vacant eyes that wish they were gazing at yours. Jaehyun can’t even tell if you’ve read the text or not - the grey speech bubbles look the same as they always have, and the delivered sign is posted at the bottom with no response. He wants to send a follow-up message, just a little ‘hey, you there?’ but he knows that’s a little bit much. If you want to see him, you’ll see him and he’ll confess his feelings once-and-for-all - though, he’s feeling much less confident than he was an hour ago. Ahem, sorry. Fifty-nine minutes ago.

Jaehyun has a plan of what he’s going to say to you, and hopefully it makes sense when the words begin to fall from his lips. He’s said it many times before, but he’ll say it again, he’s never been good with words or feelings or anything of the sort. He wants to get better, though - to become more emotionally aware for your sake, because he knows that’s a priority for you. You have an image of your dream guy that’s been in your wishes since primary school - tall, handsome, daring, dashing, yada, yada, yada - and he’s trying to be that guy. He needs to be that guy. He’ll be anything for you.

Anything and everything…even the desperate guy who can’t get a text back.

Y’know, for a moment - a brief and fleeting moment - the world seemed a little more beautiful in his self-realization of love. The stars glistened brighter and the street lights sparkled in their reflections. Before tonight, Jaehyun hasn’t ever been able to appreciate the natural beauty of what surrounded him. He never understood your fascination with replicating real life into paintings and sketches, but he seems to have digested the concept - at least a little bit. The only thing that could undoubtedly make his world more dazzling would be the sight of you, and holy shit there you are. There you are opening the front door - and your gorgeous, perfect reflection in the glass is looking straight at him.

He doesn’t need the ability to see color to know that you’re the most fascinating and jaw-dropping sight in the entire universe - and that the rainbow should be rearranged in the letters of your name in honor of your ability to captivate attention and inflict a multitude of emotions on him that he’s never felt before.

“Jaehyun?” Your melodious voice is the remedy that his ears have been yearning for. “Jaehyun, is that you? Why’re you in the dark?”

This means you haven’t read his text, right? Otherwise, why would you be confused as to why he’s here? Wait, why’re you even here?

You begin to explain yourself without him needing to ask, “I left my phone in here earlier like an idiot and I’ve been looking for it all day. Isn’t that so dumb?” You let out a little laugh, amused at your inability to keep track of your personal belongings. Why aren’t you acting like you’re upset with him? The last time you talked, you could barely look him in the eye - yet now, you’re so casual, almost as if nothing happened. “Here I am looking for my lost phone, but instead I find a lost Jeong Jaehyun.”

“What are you doing here? Sitting in the dark?”

The repeated question is met with a pregnant silence as Jaehyun fails to piece together the rehearsed words he had come up with earlier, settling on a bear hug that nearly suffocates you.

He’s so overwhelmed by the feeling of touching you again that he barely notices how stiff your posture is. You’re practically a piece of rock in the midst of being carved by its maker, frozen and unable to formulate an action in response - which, in this case, means that he’s your artist. Jaehyun relaxes his hold, urging you to reciprocate his warmth by nestling his face in your neck. Your right arm finds its place wrapped around his waist and your left around his neck, allowing him to engulf you further into his hold. You smell so nice. He notices the lavender perfume that he bought you is still rubbed into your skin, and he’s glad that you’re finally using it.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

Jaehyun’s fingers run through your hair in smooth waves, gently kneading out the small knots and helping you relax - and he can tell that your full attention is on him. For the first time in knowing you, there aren’t any distractions or excuses to avoid this conversation. It’s just you, him, and the bare truth. He just hopes he can execute this right.

“There aren’t enough words to explain how sorry I am, genuinely. I shouldn’t have ever belittled you like that, ______.” He takes a deep breath, one of many, and closes his eyes. The scene of you stomping away from him has no end in his mind. It constantly plays at every hour of the day, re-run after re-run, to torment him and remind him how horribly he screwed up with you. Please, please forgive him. “You’re not just my mom’s student. You’re not just a friend that I get coffee with. You’re so much more than that and I’ve been such a fucking chicken and haven’t been able to be honest with you.”

“You couldn’t have possibly known about my condition and it was wrong of me to take my frustration out on you.” Jaehyun can feel himself begin to cry, his tears raining down his cheeks in cascades of pent up anger and hatred for how he made you feel that day. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve to be treated like shit by him. “Your work is important to you and I know it should be appreciated. What’s important to you is important to me, okay?”

“You love your art, and I love you.”

He says it over and over again. Those three special words rapidly become six words, nine words, eighteen, forty-two, and onwards as you look at him with an empty expression. Please, please say something. For every second of no response, he confesses his love to you. He confesses as if it’s his source of air - the only way that he’ll be able to survive this encounter is if he bares his emotions with no regrets. If this were a movie, he’d be the desperate protagonist in the climax of the story who fucked up his love life and is begging for a second chance - hell, this is real life and that’s exactly what he’s doing. Just, please, have a happy ending.

You open your mouth, yet nothing comes out. No words. No statements. No confessions. You’re simply staring at him like he’s just told you the most absurd news in the existence of the universe…

…and then a tear falls.

One tear slips from your eyes, followed by another, and another…until your face is drenched in salty rain with black mascara creasing your eyes. You look like a raccoon. Jaehyun almost starts laughing. No. He is laughing; laughing because your false lashes have fallen into your hands as the glue refused to be waterproof - and now you’re standing before him in a puddled mess of makeup and disheveled hair. You’ve never looked more beautiful.

Jaehyun brushes his fingers across your cheek, attempting to wipe away your tears like an artist covering up a beautiful mistake. If he were a painter, he’d paint you a million times and more - hanging every portrait on every single wall of his apartment, until there was literally no space left for a scrap of paper. You’re the most gorgeous girl he’s ever laid his eyes on, and the smile that suddenly bursts from your sobs confirms it.

“What’s going on? I’m so confused, are you happy or are you sad?” He’s so concerned and his inability to read emotions correctly only makes him more helpless. “Talk to me, beautiful. C’mon.”

You lean into his touch and he instantly knows that everything is going to be okay.

“I just never thought I’d hear you say that.” Your smile is directed at him now, and he feels a warmth that is so familiar yet unfamiliar and he can’t get enough of it. It’s similar to the feeling of being showered in sunlight or snuggling beneath a comforter in the winter - an overwhelming comfort that’s a gift from you to him. “I feel like I’ve been waiting forever. Fuck you for that.”

Now you’re both laughing, giggling, and beaming at each other. His heart feels so at peace. The civil war between his divided emotions, love and loneliness, has finally ceased.

“I love you.”

Neither of you can stop the flow of confessions that slip from your tongues and in an instant your lips are on his - clashing and colliding in a furious kiss that rivals the strength of a hurricane. It’s almost as if he can physically feel your love pouring into him and warming his heart into a heated flame, stoked by the embers of your touch. God, he missed your touch. The feeling of it is addicting. It’s his personal heroin and he’ll never get enough of it.

Your lips are just as soft as he imagined them to be, perhaps they’re a rosy pink color with the slightest touch of strawberry lip balm that he keeps getting a fleeting hint of taste from. Never in his wildest dreams did he think you’d love him too. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. He silently repeats over and over - grateful that he’s been so blessed to know you…feel you…and love you in the awful world that he hated living on his own - the world void of color that you’ve somehow brightened by simply breathing beside him.

His hands are everywhere. Your hips. Your waist. Your breasts. Your neck. He can’t get enough of the feeling of you. With every passing second he’s falling deeper and deeper in love. You’re utterly perfect, he would kiss you for years if that was an option—

Aw shit, he knocked over an easel.

“Goddammit,” he mumbles while briefly pulling away from you. Of course he had to interrupt the moment he’s been waiting months for with his clumsiness. He’s such a dumbass. If he could punch himself in the gut, he would - but that would be way too embarrassing in front of you - hold up, this painting is familiar!

“Well I'll be damned.” He chuckles and turns the canvas towards you, to which you burst out laughing. “I thought you’d have thrown this out.”

“No,” you gaze at the painting with love in your eyes. “I could never, that’s how we met.”

The painted streak he accidentally inflicted upon your artwork remains in the same position. It seems that you never even bothered covering it up and embraced the imperfection. While Jaehyun cannot decipher the magnitude of colors on the canvas, he’s sure that the various strokes look gorgeous and masterful. You’ve always been so talented. He’s so lucky.

As he places the painting upon a now-standing easel, you rest your forehead against his. He loves you. He loves you so much. So much so that he can’t help but take a step closer, not just one but many, and embrace the overwhelming love and passion he holds for you. There are so many words he wants to say, confessions that can carry on for an infinite number of lines, but there’s no need for that now. You have forever - and he decides to start that forever with his favorite thing…

…a kiss.

“I love you.” You whisper.

“I love you more.” He replies.

This is a fancy-ass venue.

Jaehyun can’t help but feel underdressed for the occasion, despite being clad in a fitted white button up and black tie, whilst his dress-shoes cramp his feet in the worst ways imaginable. He almost looks like that one moviestar in the romantic comedy you love so much. Was it the one with the rich guy in Singapore or the one where they worked in an office and he was a businessman? Jaehyun can’t remember. Whatever, it doesn’t really matter either way. He’s distracting himself too much, he needs to focus— tonight is one of the most important nights of your career. No, it is the most important night for your future career. His mother contacted every big art distributor and critic that she has professional relationships with. It’s your night…and wow did you kill it.

It’s almost as if you’ve plastered yourself across the walls. Every art piece that his eyes roll over is exceptionally you - your personality, your passions, and your heart - and it’s obvious you’ve spent months curating the most perfect array of paintings a person could muster.

He can read your story like an open book while he slowly makes his way through the gallery. There are paintings depicting your childhood, ones that remind him of the stories you tell him of your primary school drama and premature interests. That one must be when you broke your arm while learning to ride your bike. You’re particularly stuck on that story— strongly stating how upset you were because it was your dominant arm, halting your ability to paint for seven weeks. Referencing your painting passion, there’s a whole array of canvases dedicated to your love for art; beginning with inspirations of immaturity to skillful selections of texture techniques. Jaehyun is obviously no art critic, but if he were, he’d write a whole expose on how amazing you are.

With his mind so engaged with your talent, he’s oblivious to the people passing by; so oblivious that he doesn’t even notice his own mother approaching.

“She’s talented isn’t she?”

Holy shit. The familiar voice of his mother startles Jaehyun, but he instinctively wraps a loose arm around her waist and greets her with a grin. She returns the affectionate expression and it’s painfully obvious that he got his smile from her, and even more painfully obvious that they’re all related when he notices they’re wearing the matching watches they got for Christmas last year; and when Johnny walks up with his teeth beaming, he also practically looks like part of the family. Long lashes and a toothy grin, the physical brand of the Jeong family; famous in not only arts, but good looks!

“Your girlfriend’s a pro at this shit, Jaehyun.” Johnny ruffles his little best friend’s hair and lightly nudges his shoulder. “I’m surprised anyone could like your annoying ass, let alone a pretty girl.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes at his best friend’s quips, completely ignoring him and focusing on his mom. Johnny’s just jealous because he can’t get a girl to deal with his narcissism. He’d be surprised if Johnny actually kept a girlfriend longer than a month with his high standards and demanding schedule; but that’s a story for another day. What matters now is his mom’s praise of you.

“Y’know I always knew she had an innate ability.” Miss Jeong has a faint smile on her face, gazing at her youngest son with nothing but pure happiness. It’s a true display of a mother’s love for her youngest son, and Jaehyun doesn’t know what he’d do without her guidance. She squeezes his side and presses a gentle kiss to his cheek. God, he’d be so embarrassed if his groupmates saw this. “Though, I always thought she specialized in artwork.”

Hm? Jaehyun sends a puzzled glance in her direction. What is she going on about?

His mom continues, knowing her son well enough that he needs a clear explanation in order to understand anything at all, and presses her hand against his chest. “I didn’t realize she was so skilled at touching hearts.”

His heart is beating faster at the mere thought of your beauty.

There are tears behind Miss Jeong’s eyes and Jaehyun can feel the waterworks attempting to break his own dam. They’re an emotional duo, him and his mom, Johnny gets tired of their antics sometimes— but Jaehyun knows he loves them. Their mom always knows the right thing to say. “I never thought I’d see you like this, Jaehyun.”

Johnny smirks, nodding in agreement. “You seem so at ease. It’s cute.”

Reflexively, he pulls them both into a big hug— which is the first hug he’s given Johnny since he was nothing but a young boy, afraid and stressed, auditioning for the very first time. Jaehyun finally understands what it means to love and be loved, all because of you; and now he can apply that same love to his best friend, who’s been there for him for so long. The overwhelming comfort he feels in his family’s arms is the same warmth he felt when he made his first song and ran into his mother to celebrate his newfound passion. For a long time, Jaehyun believed that it was only possible to have that one singular passion. Oh how wrong he was.

“I get it now.” he says softly into their ears. “She helped me understand.”

“And we’re happy for you,” Johnny pats him on the back as hard as he can, eliciting a threatening glare from his younger sibling, to which their mother laughs.

“Check out the centerpieces down the hall.” Miss Jeong nudges Jaehyun on, standing beside Johnny. “I think you’ll love them, sweetheart.”

With their encouragement, he carries on with the gallery and down the straight hallway of evolving paintings. Every step he takes, seems to carry him into a new era of your life. It’s almost as if he’s time traveling through memories that seemingly morph from abstract to realistic art; and he learns more and more about you with each passing second, ultimately leading towards one large painting in the center of the room.

Holy shit. You’re breathtaking.

Never in Jaehyun’s life has his world stopped due to paint on canvas— but right now, it feels like every single brush stroke is a frozen second that he gets to relive again and again, just basking in the presence of your beautiful skill.

The way you’ve outlined your hair with thin lines and highlighted your lovely cheekbones, is nothing short of masterful. If he looks close enough, he can understand the comforting feeling of cupping your face with just his eyes. He didn’t even know you did self-portraits, but now he wishes he could hang this very one right above his couch; to show off the talent of his amazing girlfriend for everyone to see (not that he actually has many friends other than his groupmates).

Where are you? He needs to let you know how special it is to be with someone like you—

“Cat got your tongue?”

Speak of the devil.

“Do you like it?” You raise your eyebrows at him expectantly. “What do you think?”

You said the same thing when you first met.

Jaehyun looks between you and the painting, now realizing that no matter how masterful your skill is, it’s impossible to capture just how gorgeous you are in any form of art. You’re simply exquisite. The most talented painter in the world wouldn’t know how to appreciate your beauty. Davinci? No. Botticelli? No. Di Angelo? Not even he could sculpt your features to perfection. However, despite his high standards, Jaehyun believes that your self portrait is the greatest thing he’s ever seen.

The familiar feeling of flusteredness grows on his cheeks as he holds eye-contact with you, wondering what color it is you’re wearing. He bets it’s red, you always wear red around him. “I love it.”

As your right hand finds his palm, the left reaches up and cups his cheek. With a gentle touch, your lips are on his and Jaehyun feels his head take a spin on the merry-go-round of love. He can’t get enough of you. If he had a choice, he’d spend every waking second of his day peppering you in light kisses on every part of your body— and he’d make sure that you never felt loneliness again. You deserve nothing less than the absolute best, and he’s made it his life’s goal to give that to you.

Slowly, he begins to feel your smile against his lips and you pull away with a lovesick gaze. He pulls you into his chest, cradling your head and kissing it softly before whispering how proud he is, and it’s almost unbelievable how far Jaehyun’s come. Somehow you’ve lured him into a bottomless ravine where the only resource to live is to be hopelessly in love with you— and truthfully, he never wants to escape. You’re everything to him.

“You love it?” your eyes are shining brighter than the sun. “You haven’t even seen my best work yet.”

“Oh?’ Jaehyun raises his brows, mocking surprise at your statement. “Well now you have to show me. It’s only fair.”

You place your hands on his chest and peck his lips before spinning him around. He’s confused for a moment, wondering what you’re doing when you could’ve just led him to the canvas instead of guiding him around like it’s a dance class…but then he sees it.

He sees himself.

Never in his life has he completely understood what being in love is. Yes, he's felt love. From his mother, who raised him to be the man he is; caring, thoughtful, and compassionate. From his best friend, who helped him understand ambition and sacrifice. From his groupmates, who challenge him to be the best he possibly can and to support one another without holding grudges. He's felt different types of love from so many people in his life. Familial. Platonic. Admiration. This is different, though. The love you show him is true love. It's the kind of love that movie stars win awards for portraying. It's the fantasy that kids dream about having when they grow up into big adults. It's the thing he thought was impossible to obtain, but was lucky enough to stumble upon you in that empty art studio on the best day of his life.

He didn't know love could be expressed in this kind of way. Through the very same paint strokes and brush marks that used to make him nauseous with hatred. Seeing your masterpiece, he doesn't understand how he could ever hate something so amazing. Art is spectacular. No. Your art is spectacular. You are spectacular.

"You love it right?" You're trying your best not to giggle at his awestruck reaction. "Want to know the best part?"

Jaehyun can feel himself nodding, desperately reaching for your hand in an attempt to ground himself from the air he's walking on— and you begin to explain. "It's a dual piece. Notice how we're facing each other?"

Oh my god, you are facing each other. He hadn't noticed it before, but he can see clearly now. You've placed him in the dead center of the room, giving him a full view of both of the paintings— opposite of one another on two opposing easels. "Tell me more, baby." His voice is nothing louder than a whisper, only for you to hear.

"I'm painted in black and white."

Oh?

"You're painted in color."

...Oh.

"I wanted to show how love knows no bounds. There's beauty in how you see me and how I see you. It doesn't matter that I'm colorless to you, you still look at me like I'm the prettiest girl in the world; and I only wish you could understand how vibrant your eyes are, Jaehyun. You're the most handsome man I've seen in my entire life."

He loves you.

He loves you so, so much.

A part of his heart feels like he's falling in love with you all over again. It's growing larger and larger, unable to contain the capacity of feelings he holds for you. He's so overwhelmed with joy that tears begin to fight to escape his eyes, ultimately dripping down his cheeks like watercolor on paper, and he sweeps you into the tightest hug known to man.

There's really only one thing left to do. One thing to close this chapter and carry on with the rest of your love story, something that's sacred only between the two of you. Something that he hopes to say to you everyday, every night, every hour, and every minute that he can.

"I love you."

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀thank you so much for reading + supporting! ⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀reblogs are greatly appreciated!

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somethingspecial-zennie · 2 years

Text

TITLE: THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE: PART 6

PAIRING: JEONG JAEHYUN x Y/n

GENRE: Mafia AU

WARNING:::::: Beep beep reader's disclaimer. The topics written below are really triggering and can make you feel uncomfortable. Please refrain from reading if you are sensitive to some toxic dark side of love.

WORD COUNT: 5K

SUMMARY: You want to leave but he won't let you go even if it costs him everything, even if it costs him you, your love. He is ready to let go of everything just to have you by his side.

NOTE: Uhm hi again. I am back with my inconsistent writing habits (*psst tells a lot about my personality* 🥲). I am back with part 6 it's a little longer than the rest but still I hope it's worth it.💚

*Sorry I was kinda in a hurry so I didn't get to proofread. Hope you don't mind :) *

Taglist:

@ahtisa02 @raven-rin @multistan30@queenrachelpink @aedreamzy@sunshinedhyuck @cottonniebunnie @gor3rxx@lilacboba@zzhiyeee @sweet-honeywood @yesohhsehun@sibehpoor@ghostfacefricker6969

LINK FOR PART 1:

LINK FOR PART 5:

You blanked out. Everything looked dark. Your body felt cold. The warm embrace of the man who held you close was missing. You didn't have the strength to stand up or to even move a single inch. You lay there on the cold ground unsure how much time has passed since you settled in the darkness of this shallow room's shadow.

You felt something warm wrapping around your naked body. You didn't even bother to check who it was. You couldn't care more. Not after what had happened. You felt yourself getting picked up by someone. It wasn't Jaehyun. A part of you felt disappointed. You tried so hard to suppress the little voice screaming at you about the monster he is. But now the voice came banging in your head. Making itself clear. Forcing you to see the ugly truth under the clouded mirage of a gentleman that you thought he was.

The brightness of the world outside the small basement blinded your eyes. You grimaced in pain as the rays of sunlight stung your eyes painfully. It took you more than a moment to settle your eyes before you could see again. The light falling on you felt so warm. So welcoming.

Your eyes fell on the man who was carrying you back to your room. Was it even your room to say? You don't know.

It was Neo. The one who covered you with a blanket and the one carrying you out of the basement. You raised up your hand to touch him. Is it really him? How far can you trust him?

You know right you cannot get mad at me? Only I can help you.

You remember him saying this to you. Is it really true? Why would he help you? There is no reason for him to help you unless..

Unless... You thought.

Your fingers touched his cheek. You softly ran your fingers down his chin. The reddish pink flush in his face was obvious.

His eyes followed your fingers and then turned towards you.

"Rest, Y/n." He said softly, before looking up again.

He put you down on your bed in your so-called room. His eyes tried to avoid your gaze. Was he feeling guilty? Or ashamed? Or does he see you as not worthy enough to meet his eyes?

"Neo." You called his name, as he tucked you in. He never looked up at you, like you never called. He turned his back on you trying to leave.

You grabbed his wrist from behind. You tried to sit up with whatever remaining strength you were left with.

"Do you like me?" You asked him.

"What are you talking about Y/n?" He said, without even looking back at you once.

"Why is your face flushed then? Why cannot you not look at my face?" You asked him again, hoping so badly that you're right, that you're not mistaken. If anyone, he is the one who can actually help you get out of here.

"Help me Neo." You begged, your voice lost. But he didn't even budge nor looked back at you.

"Please." Your voice came out as a gasp.

He glanced at you once for the last time, before he removed your hand from his wrist and walked out of the room closing the door shut behind him.

You felt devastated. Broken. The only hope you had left you alone without a word. All the tears have already dried, until you have no more tears left.

Time passed slowly. Minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days. You stared at the ceiling, your head blank. Everything looked dark to you. Dark and cold. You bought the blanket close to your chest gripping it tightly. You don't have anyone to hold onto. You felt alone. Lonely. The blanket around you could only give some comfort to your physical body. But the pain in your head. How would you console it? You have no one here.

The door creaked open. Your heart missed a beat. You shut your eyes tight hoping it's anyone but Jaehyun. Anyone. But him.

You hear the footsteps approaching. It sounded lighter, not like a man.

You opened your one eye very slightly to peek at who it was. It was Yara. You sighed internally with relief.

"I know you're not sleeping." Yara said, without even looking at you. She had bent down in front of the dresser taking out towels.

You turned your body away facing your back towards her, you don't want to talk.

"I'll clean you up." You heard her saying, her voice sounded like she was right behind you, standing next to the bed.

"I'll do it later."

"You've to clean it out if you don't want to give him what he wants." Her voice sounded more like she was concerned than like she was jealous as you thought before.

You turned to look at her. Why would she care?

"Fine." You said, trying to sit up. Your whole body felt sore and painful. She held you up, giving you support.

You looked in her eyes, there was no malice. Nor any emotions. It just felt like she pitied you.

She held your back up helping you walk towards the bathroom. The strength in your legs were yet to return. You could hardly walk. She almost carried you there. As you passed the mirror you glimpsed your reflection. You looked scared. Terrified.

You had never seen yourself like this. Not even when your parents died. Not even when you were kicked out of your own house by your own uncle.

How did you turn like this? Like a feeble piece made up of clay. You always have been the strong one. Made up of steel.

The hot water of the shower hits your body. Your whole body felt a wave of spark traveling from your toe to head. Yara turned off the shower after you were sufficiently drenched. She turned you facing herself.

"I can do it myself today." You said, stopping her hand as she tried to touch you.

She softly caressed your hair and then looked into your eyes.

"Let me help you." She whispered gently, almost sounding reassuring. But you know now. You cannot trust anyone. No one.

She took the handheld shower head in her hand. She sprayed it on her hand feeling the temperature before using it on you. The warm water made you flinch. But you resisted it. You cannot continue to be weak any more. No more.

She kneeled down in front of you, her fingers touching your thigh, going up slowly. Your legs trembled. You grabbed her shoulder to keep yourself from falling.

Why is your body like this? Why are you so weak like this?

"Breathe Y/n. Breathe deeply." Yara said. She didn't withdraw her hand but she stayed still.

"Please, don't." You begged softly. You couldn't. It felt too painful.

"Close your eyes. Feel my touch Y/n. I am not him. I'm not going to hurt you." After hearing her, you felt a bit reassured. You leaned back on the wall behind you, closing your eyes, breathing deeply. Slowly. Little by little.

She is not him. She is not going to hurt me. You thought. Your heart felt at ease. You felt like some of your strength returned back to you.

"Can I?" She asked, after making sure you were less tense than before.

You nodded your head, unsure if you're really fine with it. You could still feel Jaehyun's cum dripping out of you. Even thinking about it made you feel nauseous.

"You have to stay strong." She said, as she wet the towel.

You looked down at her. What's her motive behind this? But you pushed away the thought. At least she made me feel safe. That's all you wanted. You felt the wet warm towel wiping your inner thighs. You close your eyes, breathing deeply.

It's not him. It's not him. It's Yara. You repeat to yourself. You repeated until you made yourself believe it.

"I have to take it out." She looked up looking at you, waiting for your permission. You opened your eyes and looked down.

You could trust her, you said to yourself.

"Okay." You bit your lips. If it's her, it's going to be okay.

Her fingers delicately pushed the sticky fluid out of you. Her one hand rested on your waist.

It's okay. It's Yara. You repeated.

Very slowly and softly she cleaned you up till you felt there's nothing left of him inside you.

"Make him happy." She said all of a sudden as she stood up.

"What?" You asked, shocked by her sudden statement.

"Please him." She said, running her fingers over your shoulders.

"Make him lose his guard."

You took a deep breath, pushing the few strands of hairs behind your shoulder. You adjusted your dress as you walked forward ready to fight your own battle.

It's going to be alright, you thought.

You entered the main hall. I could see him sitting there, as you were told.

He was working on his laptop on the couch. He looked all serious and immersed just the way you noticed him for the first time.

His black hairs were slicked back exposing his stunning bone structures that glistened by the light illuminated from the light coming out of the laptop screen.

You took your next step very slowly. Your soft feet tiptoed landing very gently on the floor hardly making any noise.

Your eyes suddenly fell on the shadow of a person sitting in front of him. His face faced backwards to you. Unable to recognize his face you let the thought of him go. There weren't supposed to be any variables tonight. But you could never just hope things would go your way. Maybe it's better just to deny his existence tonight because he never mattered since the beginning. Tonight is about Jaehyun and you.

Jaehyun and you, you repeat to yourself.

He noticed you. The corner of his eye saw you walking towards his direction. He turned his head towards your direction looking straight into his eyes. His eyes stopped, like they froze in time. He couldn't tear his eyes away from you. Not when you are standing in front of him willingly, looking so gorgeous, so beautiful.

You stood there stopped by his gaze. You were wearing a beautiful long white satin dress that draped around your body enunciating your perfectly sculpted self.

Your heart started beating crazily. His gaze churned your stomach. The way he held your eyes, it made your mind lose control. You clenched the sides of your dress, second guessing everything that you had thought for tonight. A part of you was screaming deeply inside asking you if you could really do it.

The man sitting in front of Jaehyun followed his gaze to see what held him looking so breathless, so vulnerable to show his feelings to an outsider. With just a glance he realised the situation. He smirked as he turned back to Jaehyun.

"Seems like you have company for the night. I should leave now." The man said to Jaehyun. The voice you've heard before. You couldn't figure it out but you were sure it was the voice of someone you knew.

Jaehyun's eyes, still boring on you, failed to acknowledge the man who stood up to leave. The man walked towards you, stopping in front of you. You could hardly see his face in the darkly lit room.

"Till next time Miss." He said, taking your hand. He kissed the back of your hand as his eyes checked you out quickly.

You noticed a scar under his right eye. It looked like a fully bloomed red rose. But you couldn't get a better look at his face.

After he left you looked back at Jaehyun. His eyes looked at you like he was waiting for you to explain the situation.

You took a deep breath and started taking soft steps towards his direction. You stood in front of him looking at him with a soft seducing gaze.

"Y/n..

"Shhh..." Your finger on his lips shushed him before he could ask anything. His eyes looked amused. Happy.

You lifted the slit of your white satin dress, slowly leaning on him. He sat on the couch manspreading widely, looking into your enchanting eyes like he has already been bewitched by you.

"Jae.." You whispered in his ears, straddling him on his lap. You settled both of your hands on his striking cheekbones. Your eyes meeting him.

"Baby." He hummed, his eyes now settling on your lips. You were breathing slowly. Looking at him in his eyes so close to you, you didn't know what to do anymore. You traced his forehead with your fingertip slowly going down feeling the tip of his nose to his lips. He closed his eyes, feeling your warmth on his skin. Looking at him, you really wondered if you really hated doing this?

You kissed him on the crook of his neck. He flinched by your sudden touch in a place where he didn't expect it to be.

"Mhmm doll." He moaned, your soft little touches on his skin irked for more. You left a little trail of wet kisses going down slowly.

You fingers unbuttoned his vest one by one taking your sweet time. Unable to control his urge to stop himself from having you within himself he wrapped his big muscular arm around you possessively pulling your whole body close to him so that he could feel you, could smell you in his arms, so close to him.

You felt something hard as you got rid of his vest. You smiled as you threw it on the ground. His hand went down grabbing your ass, squeezing it as you slowly teased his patience with your baby kitten licks on his neck torturously.

You pulled back from him now unbuttoning his shirt's button. It came out to be a challenge to you, unbuttoning a man's shirt is not one of the things that you're good at.

"Let me help you. " He said as his nose slightly brushed yours. Even the mere physical contact with you makes him go crazy. Crazy with the insatiable urge to have you all by himself. He unbuttoned his cuffs, his eyes still never leaving yours. He pulled out his tucked in shirt letting you finish the job that you started. He looked into your eyes waiting for your next step.

He didn't question you. Or stopped you. It was like a fairytale to him. Having you come to him. To love him. Even if it was a lie, even if it was an illusion he is ready to dive into the quicksand just for a moment of affection from you. He would be ready to relive hundreds of years just spend this time with you again. This is all he wanted, all he craved for, waiting patiently like he had planned before you decided to leave him, to run away from his life. He always wanted you to come to him, to tell him that you wanted him just like he did. But now seeing you wanting him, touching him, how could he deny you? How could he stop you? That can never be an option. Never in his whole life.

He pressed his lips against yours, kissing you softly. He didn't push you hard, he just continued sucking your lips very gently, very softly letting you lead the way.

His hand slowly unzipped the back of your dress, letting it drop down your shoulder. You let the straps go down undressing yourself in front of him, on his lap. You opened your eyes, your heart felt like it was beating like crazy.

You looked into his eyes, they were staring at you crazily, madly. It scared you. Like a haunted memory. You pulled back suddenly but regained yourself quickly.

Focus Y/n, you said to yourself.

You let a soft smile come out of your mouth to hide your quivering lips. You bend down on your knees between his legs. You let your hands slowly crawl between his thighs, your fingers touching his hard on.

"It must be hard working all day." You said, your fingers cupping him seductively, rubbing the cloth that was between your fingers and him.

"Doll." He moaned, breathing deeply. His hand grabbed your head from behind, bringing it closer to his hard self.

"I'll help you out." You kissed over his hard dick covered by his suit pants.

"Fuck Y/n. Fuck." He grunted restlessly, banging his tightened fist on the couch. It was obvious his whole body ached for your touch, for your mouth over him.

You unzipped his pants and took out his leaking dick. He was already completely hard. Your hands trembled. The dark room flashed across your eyes. Your hands went cold.

You breathed deeply. You couldn't lose your control now. Not after everything you've done till now.

Your long delicate fingers brushed his leaking tip softly massaging them as you went down. You inhaled deeply, it's not going to be easy. He was way too big to fit inside your mouth. You could barely put half of him before you choke yourself.

Your lips touched his tip. The sticky precum tasted salty. A little sweet.

"Please doll. Don't tease me." You hear him grunt, pushing your head from behind. Your mouth felt warm, wet. It felt good. He had never felt like this before. Your mouth was a blackhole, sucking him in deeper and deeper with each thrust. He closed his eyes, totally immersing in the pleasure that your beautiful little mouth was giving him. Every inch of him in your mouth aroused him like any primal beast in his heat

"Baby. Stop. Mhmm." He moaned, pulling your head back. His whole dick was aching with sensitivity. Even the slightest touch by you could make him cum so bad, so hard.

He pulled you up, his hands around your waist grabbing you passionately. His beautiful face was flushed with the tint of red. You could see how badly he was affected by you. He was breathing deeply. But his eyes were always on you, never once letting go of your gaze. He held your gaze like you would just disappear in thin air if he lost your sight. He settled you on the couch, your knees bending over it so that your body could just perfectly meet his mouth. He kissed your stomach ardently inhaling your scent desperately, his one hand holding you thigh and other your waist to stop you from falling down.

His mouth travelled down, kissing you just above your lacey panty. His wet hot sticky licks made your whole body shiver. It was so different from that time. You could feel the desperation in his touch, the need in his kisses. There was passion, you could feel it, not just some raw lust of an animal lusting for his mate.

The way he touched you, the way he was relishing you, it was different. His hands wrapped around you so sensuously that you had to bite your lips from moaning out loud. The wetness pooling between your legs was getting obvious. You couldn't deny the fact that his touches turned you on this bad. Just like him you also started to crave for his touch.

He pulled the panty down your legs, making his way down leaving a trail of his saliva. His lips finally meet you now throbbing centre. It was like his lips met their elixir. He dugged his mouth deep inside you, lapping every bit of wetness of your body. His soft thick lips licked your pussy, his teeth grazing against your clit as he tried harder to get deeper inside of you.

"Jae." You moaned, grabbing his head. His tongue stimulating your pussy inside out. The lewd sound that his mouth made when he sucked you, aroused you even more making you more wetter than before.

"Aahh mhmm..." You moaned out loud, unable to control yourself. Your body acted on its own. It started grinding on his tongue wanting to cum so badly. Your fingers grabbed his hairs tightly, thrusting your hips on his face frantically to make yourself cum. Your whole body convulsed, trying to run away from such intense stimulation.

"Please please let me go Jae." You begged breathlessly, your hips still grinding on his face.

He looked up at you finally pulling away just moments before you could cum. A vast disappointment spread between your legs as you missed the coming orgasm just by a few seconds.

His face emerged out of you, dripping wet by your juices. He smiled, looking happy for the first time you have ever witnessed.

Why is he smiling like this?

Y/n. Stop losing your focus. You said to yourself.

Your legs shaked as you tried to regain your own balance. His intense eating you out had made your legs go numb.

You pulled away breathing shallowly stumbling on your own to keep yourself from falling down the couch. He held your waist with his one hand. His other hand snaked upwards groping you bare breast.

"Take me to bed." You moaned, holding his shoulder to support yourself.

"I don't think I can control it for that long." He said picking you up so effortlessly.

He threw away his laptop and some papers that he was working on the ground which were previously laying on the table in front of him. He put you down there, his breathing ragged. He put you down there, his breathing ragged. He was breathing heavily as he leaned down on you ready to get inside you. This was all he ever wished for. Just you and him. Together. Embracing each other crazily with your warmth. He inhaled your scent. The soft scent of the lavender body wash could barely mask the scent of you, the scent of you desire.

He held your head turning your face to look at him, into his eyes. They looked deep, starved. He bought you closer, kissing every inch of your face little by little.

His lips crept on yours, slowly pushing all of him in that kiss. Everything he felt, everything he desired. He poured all in. His eyes looking at you he breathed deeply.

"Oh God doll you make me go fucking insane." He growled, his hands going down pulling your waist closer to him.

"Why?" You breathe in his face, smelling the musky cinnamon taste of his breath.

He looked at you, surprised by your question. But he was more than happy to answer you. This was the first time you ever asked him something about him? Something that matters to him.

"You saved me Y/n. You saved my life." He said, his forehead touching yours.

"When did I do that?" You asked him, breaking the contact away from him.

"You don't know you don't have to." He looked up at you. He looked at you like someone took the life support out of him. Like taking away the oxygen from him.

"Tell me." You said softly, wrapping your hand around his neck, pulling his face closer to yours just enough so that you could look into his eyes when he tells the truth to you.

"Your words saved me. The notes that you sent when you worked at the cafeteria down the street from our office." He was still breathing heavily, his words sounded as if saying those words made him go back in time, reliving that dreadful time again. His voice felt painful, hurt. You pulled closer, making him look into your eyes. You wanted to know if it was all a lie or if he was telling the truth.

"What notes?" You pushed him more, this time your eyes meeting each other.

"Yes, the little notes that always said not to find up. Not to lose hope." He smiled when he looked into your eyes. Like he found his peace. Like he overcame the darkness within him. His breathing softened, relieved to have you still by his side.

"I wrote those for everyo..." You remember that time. You don't remember even knowing him back then. You were young back then, full of life, full of positivity that you wanted to share to others.

"Shush. I don't care. All that matters is you." He stopped you before you could complete what he wanted to say. He knew the truth too, he was just too afraid to hear it out from you. He doesn't want to believe in the truth, it doesn't matter as long as you're next to him.

You didn't know what to say to him, you couldn't understand him. Those meaningless scribbles that you wrote long back, how could they save someone? It all felt like a lie. Everything. It couldn't be possible. You haven't even seen him come to the cafe personally, it was always his bodyguards. You couldn't have cared more if you knew it was going to someone else.

"That's why I can't let you go. I'll die if you leave me." He said at last, pulling you back to him, only to him. You belong to him. His lips landed on yours for a moment.

"Let's go to bed." He said, picking you up between his arms.

You were still processing his words. Every single of his words. Why would he say that? That he'll die if you leave him. It can't be true.

You felt yourself landing on the soft mattress of the bed. The train of thought stops abruptly as you meet his gaze. His eyes looked softer, vulnerable. As if his deep secrets are out now, as if he was scared to get abandoned by you.

You didn't know what drove you at that moment but cupped his face with your hands and pulled his face closer to you, kissing him. This was the first time you kissed him tonight, on your own will. You had to do this. To save yourself. To save yourself from him.

You crawled on top of you kissing you deeply, madly, passionately. Hungry for each breath you take, each second that you spend close with him.

His hips started slowly rocking on yours. You wrapped your legs around his hips pressing his hard dick closer to you throbbing wet pussy.

His lips strayed kissing you messily in your neck, not thinking straight, not able to see anymore. All he wanted was your love, your touch, you.

He slowly pushed himself in, getting inside of you slowly. His free hand groped your breast, moulding them to stop himself from going too crazy on you. His fingers played with your hard erect nipples, stimulating them to sensitivity as he pounded you inside.

You moaned softly, your back arching as he explored the deeper places inside of you.

"I love you Y/n." He moaned. His thrust was soft and slow. He was relishing the moment, living the time slowly so that it would never end. Your fingers wrapped around his neck, your nails digging into his skin marking them red with his own blood.

"I love you so bad doll." He continued. His lips went back to yours. Both of you were breathing deeply, looking into each other's eyes searching for entirely different things.

It was already midnight when you guys were finished. Your whole body ached. You could feel him all over you. His scent. His essence. He was everywhere. You pressed your fingers more deeper as he thrusted harder. Blood sipped out of his neck but it didn't matter. Each scar you give to him, is like a trophy for him to keep.

He was sleeping next to you. His arms wrapped around you as he slept carefreely knowing that you are with him, secure in his arms.

"Jae." You called him.

There was no response.

Jaehyun." You called again, just to make sure. You could feel his peaceful breathing, his gentle heart beat that was beating crazily this whole evening.

He is asleep. Now is the time, you thought.

You pulled yourself out from his warm embrace, tip toeing softly as you walked out of the room. You looked back glancing at his sleeping face before you closed the door behind you, making sure you locked it before you turned back to the room where it all began.

You saw the dress you wore laying on the ground along with his clothes shattered around.

You walked quickly picking up his vest.

It must be here. You felt it when you were undressing him earlier this evening. It has to be here.

You searched the inside pocket as you felt something hard. It was a card. A key to be more specific, as you were told by Yara.

It was the key to all of the doors in this whole villa. There's only three keys and one of them was with Jaehyun. But not anymore. It's yours now.

You put on the dress quickly ready to leave. You walked towards the room hurriedly, towards your freedom finally.

You pressed the key on the pad. You heard the door beeping as it opened.

Bang.

A loud deafening voice made your head go numb. You turned back only to meet the eyes of Jaehyun. Your eyes fell on his eyes.

Fear crept in your heart. You head banging crazily. You were scared.

Your eyes looked down, you could see a pool of blood gathering slowly where you were standing. Your head felt light.

The sharp excruciating pain hit your leg so hard, making you realise the truth.

You looked back at him, still not believing he could do this to you.

His eyes looked back at you. They looked scared but not regretful. He didn't regret what he just did.

You felt nauseous, your head blanked out. It was all dark.

P.S. - Soooooo this is not the end. I'll return soon

Adios till then. Thank you for patience and time everyone. 💚

And take care.

😊

254 notes · View notes

whereisten · 7 months

Text

Promises

Part 1 | Part 2 | more coming soon

“I make no promises, I can't do golden rings, but I'll give you everything tonight”

Pairing: Mafia Leader!Jaehyun x female reader (cafe owner)

Genre: Friends to lovers au, fluff, smut and angst

Warnings: gun and violence mention, blood mention, stalking, unprotected sex, slight choking kink, slight impregnation kink, oral sex (female receiving), rough sex, overstimulation

Word Count: 6.5k

((A/N: this is a short fic series inspired by the song “Promises” by Calvin Harris & Sam Smith. It's been some time! Y/N is now a bakery shop owner! I hope you enjoy this short series, I believe there will be four parts. If you're a jujutsu kaisen fan, the Geto version will be added to our ao3 :)))

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[2 Months Later]

It’s 10:30 PM, the chairs are up and you’ve just about finished mopping the floor. Jaehyun sighs and leans back into the driver’s seat of his car. He’d been watching you every night since he left. He couldn’t stand to not be near you, or to not make sure you were out of harm's way once you left work and walked home at late hours.

If he hadn’t messed up that night, if he hadn’t been vulnerable with you and given into his heart's desires life a selfish, touch-starved man, he would still have a friend. He could keep you company when you closed the bakery, and talk to you about everything. Just like the days before that night.

You lock the front door with your keys, and start your journey home.

You sigh, dragging your hand bag over your shoulders and buttoning your coat. “Well, at least there’s no rain tonight.” Your eyes and legs are tired, and all you want to do is climb into bed and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate, maybe you’ll watch a movie. You put your headphones in and fix your hands into the coat pockets

You’re about halfway into your 25 minute walk when Jaehyun notices two men following you. As usual, he drives slowly, and without his headlights on the dark road so you don’t suspect being followed. The two men walked out of an alleyway as if they were waiting for you to pass them. Jaehyun’s brows furrow. He knew you couldn’t hear their steps because you were listening to music, but how couldn’t you feel their presence?

“Shit.” He grumbles, knowing that he will have to make himself known if he is about to stop these men.

2 minutes later and they still huddle together while walking behind you, however, you bop your head to a new song just released by your favorite k-pop group.

“Oooo I’ll have to add this one.” You say to yourself, adding the song to your Bakery’s playlist on Spotify. By the time you look back up, you see a car swerve right in front of you.

“Holy-“

“Get in!” Jaehyun unlocks the door of his coupe, which is now perpendicular to the sidewalk, blocking you in with no choice but to get in.

Your look of shock turns into one of disdain. You take your headphones out. “You’ve got some nerve.”

You walk in front of the car and flash both middle fingers before continuing home.

Jaehyun curses under his breath, swerving the car back into the street to drive beside you.

“Listen, let’s talk about it, okay? You just need to get in right now, I’ll take you home.”

“I don’t even know who you are.” You roll your eyes.

“Y/n! Stop fucking around! Get in!”

“Hey hey hey…no need to get aggressive, man…she said she’s not interested.” A strange voice says from behind you.

Before you can turn around to see his face, he drapes a heavy arm over your shoulders to stop you from walking any longer.

“Leave her alone…she told you to get lost.” Another man speaks, your eyes widen.

“You alright, sweetheart?” They turn to you, your heart begins to race as you get an immense feeling of dread.

Jaehyun quickly puts the car in park and jumps out. He walks towards them as they pull you back. “Get off of her.”

You reach out for him with pleading eyes. “J-“ you start, but you feel something circular pressing into the small of your back.

“Oh no, we’re saving her from you, she’ll be perfectly fine once you’re gone.” The man chuckles.

“Tell him to get lost or we’ll put a hole in you.” The other whispers into your ear.

You gasp and look back up at Jaehyun.

“Fuck off dude, you’re a creep. Isn’t he, sweetheart?” He presses it in more.

“I-I’m fine, just go away!” You look at Jaehyun in hopes that he will listen, one wrong move and it could be either of you with a new bloody hole to model.

Jaehyun lowers his hand and nods. “Okay.” He walks away and jumps back into the car. You feel a sense of relief, but it's short-lived as you are now subject to whatever these men want to do with you. You feel disappointment and despair. Did Jaehyun really give up on you that easily? Could he really abandon you in this moment when you needed him the most?

The men drag you back into a dark alleyway.

“Please! Leave me alone! Don’t kill me!” You beg for your life in hopes that they will just leave you alone, that they’ll have a sudden change of mind. But deep down you know they’ve been planning, they’ve finally caught a victim and don’t plan on stopping now.

They only laugh and tie your hands together behind you while you sob and plead.

“Quiet down, sweetie, you’ll live but only if you shut the hell up.”

One of the men says before throwing you into the brick wall. You grunt as you feel your back collide with the rough surface.

The man is about to say something else when you hear a sharp, high-pitched noise echo into the night. You shut your eyes, flinching when you feel blood splatter across your face.

When you open them you see the body of one of the men laid out right in front of you, a small hole in his forehead gushing out blood as his blank eyes stare at you. You scream, and the other man grabs your coat, yanking you in front of him before pressing a gun to your temple.

“Who the fuck is there?! I’ll shoot her right now!” He looks around anxiously.

The alleyway is completely dark, you can’t see anyone, but the man backs away thinking that the shot came from the right side.

He stumbles over his friend's body, releasing his tight grip on you in the process. You take it as your chance to run away. He tries to run after you, “Hey you bitch!, get back-“

Before he can finish, another shot goes off. The man lets out a blood curdling scream and drops to the ground. You quickly turn around, panting as you see his shadow finally come to light.

Jaehyun.

Your dark-haired savior walks slowly towards the crying man with a sniper gun in his hand. He lugs it around like it's nothing, but based on the length, noise, and precise shots, you know it’s heavy. You swallow hard as you watch his menacingly large figure create an engulfing shadow over the man.

As he walks under a street light that the man has dragged himself to, you see a completely unfamiliar look on Jaehyun’s face. He’s angry, no.. he’s outraged, and the dark glare in his eyes makes your heart race. Is it because he’s hot, or is it because he’s terrifying? You’re not sure.

Nonetheless, he doesn’t give the man a chance to beg. He cocks his gun and shoots his other kneecap. The man places both hands over it and cries out while laying on his back.

“No!! Please don’t! I’m sorry, we weren’t gonna hurt her!” The man cries out when he sees the grim face of Jaehyun looking down on him as he crawls away.

Jaehyun cocks his sniper gun again.

You finally snap out of your daze and run towards him. “No stop! Don't do this!” You yell out.

Jaehyun doesn’t respond to neither you nor him, he only aims for the crying man’s crotch area. He shoots him again and cocks his gun. The man struggles to back away from him as he aims it at his head.

Jaehyun is so furious, not a word escapes him, he only feels rage and sees red.

But just as he’s about to pull the trigger again, you jump onto the ground in between the gun and the man.

“Jaehyun! Stop! Please, he’s learned his lesson.” You pant, your arms till aching as they are tied behind your back.

“Move.” Jaehyun’s tone is dark, you don’t even recognize him.

You swallow hard, hoping you can get through to him. “Jaehyun..it’s not worth it, the police are gonna be here any second now, just leave.”

“I said move. I’m gonna blow his head off.”

“No! I won’t allow you to! This ends now.”

Jaehyun’s voice raises. “They put their hands on you! They were going to hurt you! They deserve nothing but pain!”

“Yes! I agree, but you’ve done enough! Get out of here!”

Suddenly, police sirens start to get louder, it's as if someone called them after hearing the shots.

“Jaehyun..help me, please.” You look up with wide eyes, and finally, Jaehyun snaps out of it.

He finally puts his gun by his side and leans down to help you up.

He looks back at the man and kicks his head hard, leaving him crotchless and bleeding out on the dirty ground alone.

The two of you run back to Jaehyun’s car.

He helps you into the passenger seat before jumping in and speeding away.

“Jaehyun, what the hell! You–you just killed someone.” You cry as he drives maniacally to your place.

“Are you okay?” He ignores your panic.

“Okay? Okay?! No I’m not fucking okay, Jaehyun, I just witnessed a murder! There’s- there’s blood all over me!”

Once at a stop light, he takes his pocket knife out and cuts your zip ties.

“Are you hurt?” He asks as he examines your soft face and body.

You sigh and look into his worried eyes. Damn it, why did he have to look at you like you’re his world? “I’m..listen I’m fine, but what you did was not okay, you just killed-“

“It’s what I do y/n.” He says lowly, calmly, but with a scary tone. The light turns green and he continues driving. The street lights illuminate his sharp features and you feel your heart drop. The man you had a deep longing for lived to kill, and killed to live, that’s the reality of it. He had no regrets whatsoever after taking a human life.

This was normal for him.

His fist tightens around the steering wheel. Your eyes catch a glimpse of the thick veins in his arms. “If something happened to you..I couldn’t live with myself..I’m sorry you had to see that, but it was necessary.”

He looks at you then quickly looks away, hiding how his eyes started to fill with water. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You’re just trying to get home after a long day of work. What if he wasn’t there to save you? What if he lost you? And he realizes once again why you two could never date. You’re nowhere near ready to see him for who he truly is.

You take a deep breath and relax into your seat, resting your elbow on the door. Your fingers shakily press against your temple as you look out of the window . “Jaehyun..you can’t protect me from the world..you can’t just hover around and follow me everywhere.”

“Why the hell not?” His nose scrunches.

You flick your head towards him. “Because you’re not my boyfriend! You yourself said you regretted ever meeting me, you never wanted to see me again, and yet, here you are swooping in like fucking Batman!”

Jaehyun clenches his jaw and abruptly parks his car outside of your apartment building.

“I mean nothing to you..you should start acting like I don’t.” You look down at the floor and say sternly.

He sighs. “Y/n..I—didn’t..” he stumbles over his words as you sit there in silence.

You look back up at him, and he wants to hug you, he wants to hold you and get lost in your beautiful eyes. He takes a moment to breathe in your scent, still fresh and pretty after a long day at work.

“What?” You watch him as he stares.

He sighs and looks out of the window. “You can get out now.”

You purse your lips and nod, tears threatening to escape. “...the next time I see you outside of my job, I’m going to call the police.” All this time, you knew he was watching.

Jaehyun turns back to you with a puzzled expression. Night after night, you’d seen his black sports car parked a few feet away from the bakery. You knew he was there, and you never approached him about it.

You look into his eyes before opening the door and stepping out. Jaehyun doesn’t protest as you slam the door and head inside.

Once he sees your apartment light turn on, he drives away, angry at himself once again. What if someone saw him with you? What if they knew he had a weakness and knew where that said weakness lived?

He lays in his bed after taking a hot shower and falls asleep quickly.

“Jaehyun..”

“Hnnn..” His eyes struggle to open.

“Jaehyun..baby.”

“Yes…hmmm.”

“Need you..”

Jaehyun hears your soft voice and feels your warmth. He opens his heavy eyes to see that he’s back in his car. This time he’s in the backseat with you beside him.

“Y/n..” He rubs his thumb over your cheek to check if you’re really there. You lean in and look into his eyes before kissing him deeply while closing your eyes.

Jaehyun turns his head and groans into your mouth as his tongue traces over your smooth lips. Cherry. The same cherry balm he tasted when kissed your lips the first time.

The hunger in his chest grows, he grabs you by the waist and brings onto his lap, your arms still tied behind you as you moan. He handles you like it’s nothing, pushing your skirt up your hips and to your waist before pulling you down harder onto him.

He releases your lips finally, a string of spit dropping down your chin as you whimper. He pulls his pocket knife out and quickly cuts the fabric of your underwear, a move that has your skin riddled with goosebumps in no time.

He looks at the knife, thinking about how he should also cut your zip ties, but also thinking of how he doesn’t really want to. Something about you being bound, restricted, and doomed to ride him until you swelled with his offspring made everything hotter to him.

He looks up at you while brushing his fingers over your opening. It's silky with your essence, already building just from your kiss. You throw your head back and start to grind onto them as he teases you. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, gazing up at your angelic face. He swears he’s already in heaven.

His fingers finally enter you, a high-pitched moan escaping you once you feel them stretching you out.

“I-I’m ready!” You move faster, finding it hard to hold back as you’re so wound up already.

He pulls his fingers out and wraps his arm around you to guide you down onto him. “Good girl…almost there.” He whispers while watching you take him in.

The sight is so satisfying, he doesn’t know if he’ll last all night. You gasp once his tip kisses your sweet spot, but you continue to move up and down like you did with his fingers.

You move easily, your essence and his pre cum being all the lubricant you need to fit him inside repeatedly. He groans, rubbing his large hands along your thighs.

“So—good, I can’t” You struggle to move steadily with your arms tied behind you, you’re close, but getting weaker. You close your eyes as tears escape.

He tilts your chin, forcing you to open your eyes and look down at him. “Don’t slow down, baby, you want me to fill you up right? Well, keep going.” He chokes you slightly as you whimper.

“Yes..please cum with me..”

He could see your breasts bouncing under your button down dress shirt from work, he could see them pop open one by one as you bounced faster. And your pussy, so warm, so tight around him. He can feel his tip twitch as you clench around him, threatening to coat your walls at any moment now.

“Oh my.. GodI!” Your head falls back. Sweat runs down into the crevice of your breasts. He grabs your waist with both hands, taking over to slam you down onto him at a faster pace. He thrusts into you aggressively, chasing after a high that he knows he’ll remember well after tonight.

If you thought you could drop him after this, you’d be so wrong. He’d never been happier, never been hungrier, never been more anxious to fuck someone into oblivion like this. He could keep going if you let him. He’d have to recover quickly just so he can do it all over again in minutes, it would be difficult, but it’s not impossible.. He had to do it for you.

“Cum for me, baby, I know you want to....yes good girl, so tight for me.” He pants, his voice is gravelly.

“Jaehyun!” You cried out one final time before his eyes flew open.

No.

Jaehyun looks up at his ceiling and feels his bed under him. It’s wet with his sweat.

His chest is heaving and his dick is painfully hard, sticking straight into the sheet above him. “Shit. It felt so real.”

He closes his eyes and rounds his fist around his dick to relieve himself, still imagining you clenching around him so beautifully while in his car.

He groans and wipes his forehead once he’s done. “This is gonna be hard.” He knows he should respect your wishes to not see him again, but deep down he knows he will have to. He knows he’s in too deep, and letting go is impossible at this point.

[One Month Later]

Jaehyun tries to let you go, he doesn’t watch you anymore..well, not every night at least.

He told himself he was getting better, and if “getting better” included installing a tracking device on your cell phone to follow you instead of watching you outside work, then yes, yes he was “getting better.”

A guy in his gang that acted as a hacker sent a virus to your phone through a text message pretending to be a K-pop album sale link. And just as he expected, you got too excited and clicked it without thinking. By the time you realized it was a scam, it was too late. He was in. You shrugged your shoulders and went about your day like nothing happened.

He didn’t track you every day but just knowing that he could when he wanted to was enough for him.

He had just welcomed a shipment with his guys, when he decided to take a break and check on you. His brows furrow when he notices you’ve stopped by a particular place between home and work once again. What could this place be? A new friend? Or.. a new man? No, you wouldn’t do that to him..or would you?

He jumps into his car and tells his guys to finish everything up before speeding away.

When he gets to his apartment, he looks the address up and finds that it’s an apartment building that belongs to a wealthy banker.

He bites his lip as he contemplates what on Earth you could want with a banker.

He relaxes into his computer chair and shrugs it off. He shouldn’t be intruding like this, it isn’t right. He’ll let you handle whatever it is you’re doing. It must be important and necessary. So he doesn’t let it bother him…that is until one day when you have a date with the man.

He watched you go out with the banker that aged you by at least 15 years. You wore a gorgeous red silk dress and did your hair up. Your skin looked immaculate and your smile shone brightly in the dim lighting of the restaurant. He watched from outside, holding himself back from marching in there and crashing the date. If Mr. Bank thought he was gonna get lucky tonight, he was very wrong.

You smile and laugh with him so much, Jaehyun can’t take it any more. He drives away.

A few hours later, you enter your apartment and kick your heels off. You shimmy your coat off before walking into the kitchen to get yourself some water.

“Where were you?” A deep voice asks from the shadows of your kitchen.

You jump up and walk backwards. “WHO-“

Jaehyun steps out with arms crossed and knitted brows. His hair is styled back to reveal his forehead, and grey shadow rests under both eyes like he hasn’t slept in days.

He still looks handsome though, his black T-shirt clinging onto his toned biceps.

“Jesus Christ!! Jaehyun WHAT THE HELL?” You quickly turn the light switch on then turn to your handbag, fumbling around for your pepper spray.

“It’s 3 fucking A.M. and you’re just now getting home.” He tilts his head, confused as to why you act like he’s intruding.

Your mouth falls open, the audacity of this man.

“Are you crazy? That’s it, I’m calling the police.” You reach for your cell phone in your bag, but as you search for it, Jaehyun walks up to you and grabs your wrist.

He quickly places your hand behind your back and backs you into the wall.

Your eyes widen as he towers over you.

“Answer the question first.” He grumbles, looking down on you like you’re some kind of criminal that’s been caught stealing.

You shake your head and gasp. “I don’t have to answer to you! I’m a grown woman!”

Jaehyun smirks as his eyes trace downward, floating from your lips to your neck and finally to your pronounced cleavage.

“This is a really nice dress, y/n, did he like it?” His eyes are filled with fire and jealousy. He looks almost disgusted as he thinks about you giving your body to someone else.

Your eyebrows raise. “You’re still following me? You’re insane!” You struggle to pull your hand away, but you pound against his chest with your other hand. He quickly grabs it by the wrist and places it above your head, like it’s nothing. His neck cranes down to get closer to your face.

“Let me go!” you yell.

He shakes his head. “Not until you answer me.”

“Somebody help me!”

He can’t help but chuckle. “Even if someone comes, do you really think they can help you? Do you want to watch another person die, y/n?”

You swallow hard, and even though he is frightening at this moment, you feel hot and lustful with the amount of power he has over you.

“What’s your problem? First, you say you regret meeting me, and now, you’re following me every day! I can't keep doing this! So what if I moved on? Yeah I fucked another man, now what? You gonna kill me?”

Jaehyun flips you around so he’s pressed against your back and you’re pressed in with both hands held by him.

You grunt as your cheek hits the wall.

Jaehyun leans into your ear and whispers. “Mr. Bank loves that cheap cologne on his dresser. I see him use it every day. But it’s funny because I don’t smell it on you. And that’s how I know you’re lying.”

Chills run up your spine.

“W-we took a shower together, did you forget that I like doing it that way?” You smirk. Jaehyun’s grip tightens as he becomes even more infuriated.

You were lying, but you liked to see him get riled up, maybe just maybe, he’d leave you alone so you could forget about him, so you didn’t have to touch yourself to the thought of him, so you didn’t have to look at the empty chair in your bakery in hopes of seeing him there one night.

“You’re intent on pushing my buttons..even with you pressed up against the wall..even with your hands behind your back. Aren’t you afraid of how bad it’ll get for you?”

You chuckle. “Are you threatening me because I just had the best sex of my life?”

Jaehyun picks you up off of the wall and lays you down onto the counter face first with a hard push.

“The best huh?” He flips the bottom of your dress up to expose your ass in your thong. He then taps two fingers against your clothed folds, you jump slightly at the unexpected contact. “And yet..your panties are still intact and you’re walking just fine.”

He continues to rub his fingers against you, pressing them in just barely. You whimper quietly. “Your skin is cold. Your thighs are dry and you’re reacting to my simple touch. You smell like you did the first time like grapefruit and berries..seems to me you’re just as untouched as the Virgin Mary.”

Jaehyun whispers so deeply, you can’t help but grow wet. Damn it, he really knew you like the back of his hand.

“And if it was the best, why were you able to go back to your place? Why didn’t you just sleep there in hopes for round two?” He still drags his fingers in and out, teasing his digits along your opening by pushing them in slowly.

“Unlike you, he begged me to stay tonight but I told him “no, I have to be at work in the morning.” You let out, you try to have a sturdy voice as you slowly unreel from his long fingers.

“Please, y/n, the more you lie, the longer this will take. You’re not the whore you claim to be..” he whispers against the back of your neck, giving you chills once more, but you shake them off and speak strongly.

“You don’t know me! I did unimaginable things with him tonight!” You wiggle to try to escape him, but the strong 6-foot something man doesn’t budge.

“Oh is that so? Show me.” He leans back and presses your wrists down with one hand while unbuckling his belt with the other. He then ties your hands behind your back with it and steps back. He sits at your dining table and waits for you to walk over.

“I’d need my hands, Jaehyun.” You roll your eyes.

“Come on y/n, see how much you can do without them..” he taps his thigh.

You sigh and walk over to him. Why did he have this control over you? What if he just ends up leaving again?

“I shouldn’t do anything for you, you’re cruel.”

Jaehyun’s low eyes trace over your body in the red silk dress as you walk over to him. “But are you doing anything for me, per se? No baby, you’re gonna use me to satisfy yourself after a disappointing date.”

His hands can’t help but find your waist. He forces you down onto his thigh but doesn’t do anything other than look into your wide eyes.

You look onto his neck and broad shoulders, you smell his simple and fresh cologne. You wish you could run your hands through his full head of hair and intertwine your fingers on it as you go dizzy.

He lets your waist go. “Or...you can just sit here and tell me you hate me. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to, you know that.”

Your mouth falls open as you look at his lips.

“Go on..I’m listening.” He leans back and tilts his head slightly, looking down onto you with those low bedroom eyes. His gaze makes you tremble.

You’re so turned on from his touch, you continue moving against his thigh. He’d gotten you this far, why not finish it?

“I hate you because you won’t leave me alone. You send mixed signals. One day you want me, the next day you say it’s unrealistic to be with me. Make up your damn mind.” The friction of his thigh against your opening makes you light headed, but you push on.

“Before we do this again..I need to know what the hell you want from me, do you want me in your life or not?!”

“Y/n..of course I want you in my life...it’s just not safe for you..”

“Don’t you think I know that? I’ll be fine.”

He shakes his head. “I answered your question, you should answer mine..why are you home so late? What business do you have with that man?” He clenches his thigh and the sudden action makes you moan and shut your eyes tightly, you move faster.

“Jaehyun...it’s none of your business.”

He knew you were trying to get close to the bank manager so you could get another loan for your business, you needed to make improvements in the kitchen, decorations, flooring etc. and the money you made wasn’t cutting it. You figured that if you could find the right man to seduce, maybe you could get what you needed quickly.

Jaehyun knew this because he had seen the Google searches on your phone that went from “how to get a loan.” to “how to best seduce a man.” Hence, the red silk dress you wore, the glam hair, the intoxicating perfume that was quickly seducing even him as well, the high heels you wore to bring out your curves, and of course, the bra that made your cleavage noticeable to even the stars above.

“..let me protect you..and I’ll give you everything you need.” He kisses your neck and whispers into your ear while bringing one of your straps down your arm. He starts to kiss your shoulder.

You move faster on his thigh, swiveling your hips as his grip becomes tighter. “..that’s easier said than done..I want...I need to be completely yours, I don’t need a bodyguard.” You whimper and moan as he sucks your neck. Sweat builds onto your forehead.

“I don’t need your protection, I need your love.” You say breathily before finally releasing on his thigh. You rest your head on his shoulder, trembling while feeling your legs weaken.

He looks into your wet eyes and caresses your cheek while zipping down your dress with his other hand.

He then yanks your dress down to reveal your hard nubs. His hands cup your breasts, massaging them before tracing his thumbs over the peaks. “So beautiful, and only for me.”

He sucks them one by one, caressing them with one hand as the other grips your thigh, hard, so hard you know you’ll be sore for days. You groan in pain from his fingertips pressing in deep, and if your hands weren’t tied behind your back, you would’ve pushed him away.

He doesn’t let up, guiding your body forward and backward so you continue to leak all over his sweatpants. “Jaehyun!” You cry out in sensitivity, you cum again easily but he doesn’t stop. He won’t let you go, he continues to flick his tongue against your breasts. Your back arches, your clit is stimulated once more by his thigh, but it isn’t enough.

He lifts you up easily and lays you down onto the table. He wants to make use of his time with you while you are bound, so he slowly drags your thong down your legs before throwing it to the side.

“Stay still..” he commands as your legs wiggle in an effort to get away from him. You whimper as he presses his fingers and thumbs into your thighs to spread you further apart.

He licks and sucks your clit as his fingers dive in deep. Your entrance, already sopping but welcoming him nonetheless. Your back arches again. “Jaehyun!” You cry out as you watch him devour you. His dark eyes lock with yours as he groans.

The tip of his tongue traces over your sweet spot as you throw your head back. You cum again, struggling to break out of his belt and grab his hair. He doesn’t stop, licking up everything that escapes as tears escape your eyes.

“Please.. I can’t- slower.” You plead, but he doesn’t care. He wraps his arms around your legs to keep them open and fixed around his head.

“Mmmm you taste so good, baby, and you’re all mine.” He chuckles then flattens his tongue against you.

He wants to make up for all the time he’d lost with you, he wants to consume you forever, to taste what he’s been craving all his life. He eats you out until you’re begging him to stop. Your wrists are tired of fighting against his belt, you try to kick his shoulders away again, but he simply smirks and grips your ankles tightly.

“Don’t disobey me like that again, sweetheart.” His eyes dark and threatening as he looks up through his lashes.

You can’t stop moaning as your eyes roll to the back of your head and your back arches, threatening to snap completely.

He finally finishes when he’s had enough. He stands up from the chair, flipping your body over and lifting one of your legs over the table. He pushes the waistband of his pants down, releasing his hard member and grabs your waist. He runs his cock against your slit, parting it slightly with the head to gather your slick.

“Gonna be a good girl for me right? Gonna follow my orders and cum when I tell you to?” He asks lowly.

“Yes! Yes..Jaehyun..I need-“

He pulls you into him, your ass shakes as you moan. The angle created by one leg lifted drives you crazy as he pushes himself deeper and deeper. You can’t stop yourself from clenching.

“Fuck..so good..cum with me, don’t let anything escape..I wanna see you hold it in for me..”

He buries himself in deep with each stroke, allowing you to feel every judge and vein as he runs his dick against your velvety walls. The table shakes with each thrust, he groans when he feels you clenching again. He moves faster, pressing his hand into the small of your back to keep you still.

“Yes, don’t..stop!” You release onto him and chant his name as he moves in and out slowly.

“That’s it..such a good girl for me..” he rubs your clit to coax another orgasm out of you despite you being sensitive.

You can feel his abs on your back, you can’t take anymore. You open your hands and try to push him away. He pushes in deep to make you squirm. “Give me one more, okay..you’re my slut tonight, gonna do whatever I say, right?”

“Jaehyun!” Your hands fail to apply any pressure.

He chuckles. “Are you disobeying me? Tsk tsk..you act like you can’t take it, yet you’re gripping me like it’s yours..”

He rubs his fingers in circles with more force and you can feel your essence dripping down your legs continuously now.

He thrusts faster and harder, the entire table moves as he pounds you like there’s no tomorrow. “Cum with me..cum with me right now..I’m gonna fill you up so you don’t forget who owns this pussy. so full..so warm, you’ll never give it to anyone else, that’s a fucking order, understand?..”

You can’t think clearly, you become dizzy.

Jaehyun grabs your waist tightly to slam your ass against his pelvis and reaches his other hand around your throat to choke you. “Y/n! Do you understand?!”

You struggle to breathe, but nod and cum again. ”y-yes! Yes, oh my god!”

A loud groan leaves him while his movement stutters. He collapses on top of you as he empties himself finally.

After a few minutes, he sits back into the chair, turns you around and brings your limp body onto his lap as you pant. He holds you close by wrapping you in his arms, tracing his fingers delicately against your spine.

“Jaehyun..just let me love you..please.” You rest your head onto his shoulder.

He does love you, everything about you makes him ache, you make him soft and remind him that he has a heart. He’d let his mind wander too many times, he let himself think of a world where the two of you could live together, have a few pets, get married, have kids..all sorts of “regular” things.

But love? Jaehyun is left speechless, he doesn’t know what to say, but he also doesn’t want to break your heart again. He was beyond worried for you. He unbuckles his belt from your wrists and helps you up.

He stands the both of you up then sits you back down. He looks down at you as you wait for his answer with pleading, wet eyes.

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” He fixes his pants.

You stand up on wobbly legs, take his head into your hands and kiss him hard. “You don’t have to be sorry, just give us a chance.” You say once you break the kiss.

He kisses you back before pulling away “I can’t.”

Your mouth falls open in shock. “What exactly am I to you? Just a quick fuck and nothing else? Just tell me!” You turn away from him.

He feels his heart break again. “No! No..you’re much more than that..it’s-“

You turn back to him. “What? What the hell is it, Jaehyun?”

“I-I don’t know, I have to go.” He can’t look into your eyes anymore.

“No..don’t.” You grab his hand and tug him back. “Not again.”

“Y/n..I’m ....” he closes his eyes and shakes his head, keeping you from seeing the tears in his eyes. Why was he getting emotional?

The truth was Jaehyun had heard those exact words before.

“no..don’t”

It was the last thing his mom said to him. He was 16 and hell bent on doing his own thing. He ran away from home and decided to live a life of crime. He was stupid and broke her heart in the process, leaving her to die at home alone a few months later. At 12 years old, he had made a promise to protect and care for her when his father abandoned the two of them to take care of his other family.

Jaehyun needed to make more money and by the time he was 16, his friend offered an opportunity to make more money than he could ever imagine. It’s what he needed to do for himself and his mom, or at least that’s what he thought at the time. He didn’t know that all his mom wanted was for him to be safe and to grow up as a hardworking man she could be proud of. He disappointed her..and he feared he’d disappoint you too one day.

You sigh and let him go. “I don’t hate you Jaehyun, I just don’t understand you..”

He turns away from you to not show weakness once again. “I wish I understood myself, I wish I didn’t hurt you.” He leaves, slamming the door shut as you sink down into the chair.

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