#next up we share pics of this summer’s gardens?

[foxsoulcourt]

Ecco delle belle foto per te amico mio! @agapantoblu, recently I was in southern California and saw SO MANY (!!!) agapanthus plants. Thought of you each time I noticed one because: Tumblr friendship. I THOUGHT I took a ton of pictures of them on my phone, but it turns out I was using my brain camera. Those pictures are muCh hArdEr to post, so added in some other PreTTy fleurs to fill out a bouquet of pics.

#shocked there are only two photos #because i saw them EVERYWHERE almost every day #shrugs #next up we share pics of this summer’s gardens? #tumblr friendship #agap has lively followers grateful to be one

[magnificentpatrolstudent]

Sunday mornings with y/n 🌥🌸

aot x reader 

Eren

“Honestly y/n, they should’ve hired me,” Eren said as you applied the serum to his face. Eren lived for the feeling of your gentle touch on his skin. “Okay, reenact the end scene but like how you would’ve written it.” The two of you were doing your skincare routine together in the bathroom while talking about how bad the movie you watched last night was and basically rewriting the script. You giggle as Eren impersonates the actor and does different accents. You give his face one final pat “All done!” Next on the agenda was your yoga routine. Ever since forcing Eren to try it out with you, he always joins you. He says it calms him down but he only likes to do it with you. “Look at this new move I learned,” Eren says as he goes into a perfect headstand. “Woahhh! you say in sheer shock, lowkey pissed that he’s getting better than you 🙃.

Armin 

It’s 8 am and you and Armin are on your way to the farmer’s market, excited to buy fresh berries and bright flowers to place all over the house. As you walk to the market hand in hand, you share a pair of Bluetooth earphones, both listening to ELIO’s “When U Saw Love” as the morning breeze tickles your face. “We could visit the Botanic Gardens and go on the cable car!” Armin exclaimed. “Yeah, and we could go to the gallery and museum!” You two chatted about the trip to Singapore you’re planning for next summer and all the other places you want to see together. “We gotta figure out where we wanna go for our honeymoon,” Armin said in complete earnest. “We’re not even engaged,” you said, giggling as a fluttering sensation filled your stomach. “Not for long!” Armin declared. You literally stopped walking; you looked so stunned that Armin began to laugh.

Jean

“Say cheese y/n” Jean took the picture and feigned a heart attack after gushing about how cute the two of you looked. You and Jean woke up at 5 am to go for a hike to catch the sunrise, something you’ve been wanting to do together for a while. You packed the perfect breakfast picnic together which you guys practically inhaled after the tiresome 3-hour trek. At the crest of the small mountain, you two sat there for hours sitting and talking and taking cute pics together. “I’m gonna send this one to my mom,” Jean said with the brightest smile on his face. “No, take a better one 😠.” When you spot a couple in the distance with their 2 small kids, he says that’s gonna be you guys in a few years. He always says stuff like that and every time he does, your heart literally constricts; he’s literally gonna give you a heart attack omg. 

Connie 

“Hmmm…what should we make today?” You asked Connie while looking into the fridge. “I have no idea. How about we make whatever’s on the page I open in this cookbook?” Connie said while holding up the cookbook you were gifted last year and never got around to using. “Good idea!” “Super Creamy mushroom, Brie, and pancetta croissants,” he said, pronouncing pancetta in his best Italian accent. “That sounds amazing except we don’t have mushrooms, brie, pancetta, or croissants,” you laughed. “How about…coffee walnut banana bread?” Connie looked up at you questioningly. “Okay, I think we can actually make that!” you exclaimed.  “Alexa, play  “Carry Me Away” by John Mayer” Connie shouts at your smart speaker and you both get to work on your (hopefully) beautiful banana bread. While measuring out flour and cracking eggs, Connie tells you about how excited his family is to meet you soon, reassuring you that you have nothing to be nervous about. When the chorus comes on, he twirls you around and then you twirl him around and now you’re having an impromptu dance sesh. 

Levi

You wake up to a quick, soft kiss on the check from Levi. “Wash up and come to the living room, I made you coffee.” The living room smells faintly of the lavender candles you love mingled with the heavenly smell of freshly brewed coffee. You see Levi curled up on the couch sipping on the tiniest cup of tea. He pats on the space next to him, indicating for you to join him. You plop down right beside him, reaching for the mug he set down on the coffee table. His hand resting on your leg, the two of you talk about anything and everything--gossiping about coworkers, showing each other recipes you wanna try and make together, the books you’ve been reading, new music you’ve been into, and Levi raves about the new cleaning product he found the other day 💀. With the morning light filtering in from the windows and John Mayer’s “Say” playing softly in the background, you couldn’t think of a better way to spend your Sunday morning.

#aot #snk #aot x reader #attack on titan #eren jeager #armin arlet #jean kirstein #connie springer #levi ackerman #aot fluff #eren x reader #armin x reader #jean x reader #connie x reader #levi x reader #aot scenarios #snk scenarios

[thestudentfarmer]

Garden update :D

We'll start with the lentils! We got some lil sprouting (Feb 2,2023) if you keep a journal for your growing/garden info it would be time to mark start of germination. or if you really want to figure out full grow time, you don't count this time yet. (When it is ill give a heads up for that kind of marking.) I didn't realise Tumblr doesn't date post so I did not mark down when I started. (This was jsut to see if it would really, nothing super serious)

Next up! My suprise pumpkins! They are really hanging on hard! I'm going to wait and let these ones go as long as possible. The dryness of the plant is from necrotic tissue from freezing Temps. If I had covered them with a blanket before the nippy weather each night they likely would be doing far better.

Full pic of the pumpkins. There's 5 pumpkins in there I believe. I haven't dug too much cause it's fragile enough at the moment and I'm trying to be gentle with the new growth.

A few radishs and carrots. I'm leaving 2 of the bigger radish to attempt to collect some seed. The carrot sill be leaving a handful there so I can get second generation seed.

The nasturtium got a lil seed! I've been eagerly looking forward to collecting a few of these! When I do my spring/summer planting I think 2 of my big pots will have them and I'm thinking of adding them to the herb/flower part.

Last but not least! The peas :) more flowers today, not so much on the pods yet. I think next fall/winter I'll have a better trellis method as well as mayby get some straw to cover the ground to keep soil moisture and warmth.

And one last pic, I made sourdough pancakes from scratch :D I plan to share the sourdough recipe soon, but I want to get a little more practice in :)

That's it for today's pictures, but with winter starting to head into spring~ has anyone started planning out their gardens or what they'll be planting this upcoming year? I think I'm going to start doing that pretty soon. What is everyone thinking about growing this upcoming season/year?

🌱🌻Happy Gardening, Homesteading and cooking🌻🌱

#homesteading #self sufficient living #studentfarmer #thestudentfarmer #self sufficiency #food #garden #gardening #low waste #chickens #pancakes #sourdough #peas #carrot #carrots #pea #radish #nasturtium #pumpkin #lazy gardening #garden experiment #experimental gardening #garden chaos #garden tips #garden planning

[dsdatingdramas]

The boy my ex’s sister told me I was too good for…

After yet another successful move from dating apps to the socials, I finally built up the courage to go on another date. So it was a fairly safe bet when the man I’d been talking to for a wee while asked me to dinner. When I asked a few of our mutual friends about him the reviews were mixed but oddly enough my ex’s sister’s response of “you can do better” was etched in my brain.

A beautiful summers day lead me to have a cold shower before heading out. The makeup less, hair not done vibe felt the perfect beachy look. Until self doubt settled in and I was convinced he’d hate the lack of effort I put into my appearance on first meeting. This made the 20min car ride feel like hours.

Initially his choice of location caused much anxiety, it was full of Jaffa’s and tourist also pining for a car park. However, after I found a place to park (very marginally) it was up hill from there. Black cat text me to let me know he had arrived and was indeed awkwardly waiting outside - a task I strategically avoided.

I meet him outside the place he suggested for a drink, during my what felt like 2 hour car ride, I decided a hug was appropriate and he followed suit. Although I’m sure it was clear to passers by that we were not well acquainted.

He lead the way to the restaurant and interacted with all wait staff on our behalf besides asking where I’d like to sit. As an anxious gal this was ideal.

After some polite small talk about his gardening (actual gardening) and his Christmas plans, the waiter had still not arrived with the offer of a bevragino. Black cat kindly offered to take himself to the bar and purchased both of our drinks giving me a moment to text my mates to say he probably wasn’t a murderer. When he arrived back with my drink a level of relief was evident in both of us, finally something to do with my hands or a sip to give me a moment to find a topic of conversation.

After conversation began to follow more readily we relocated to walk along the beach where we shared noticings and wonderings from the hustle and bustle that surrounded us. From the strange actions of the people around us to his strange joy for birds the free flowing conversation put me at ease. His slight disdain for most of what we were seeing in front of us made me giggle, although I appreciated his willingness to put up with the environment to spend time with me. It was at this point where he was affectionately nicknamed black cat.

Whilst topic of conversation ranged from how to take a good Insta pic to the helicopter parenting of my two fur babies. We found a spot to sit and watched as the sun began to set and the cold began to seep into my bones. After passing judgements on an array of other daters on the beach whilst blissfully ignoring our own first date awkwardness, I slowly moved closer and closer to black cat attempting to gain warmth from his body. Whilst he joked that I should brought a jacket in this brisk 25 degree heat he suggested we relocate to his flat. Although in hindsight this may have been a little forward I assumed the best and agreed.

Like any sane human I called a friend on my way there, I was quickly meet with a

~ Ooohh going back to his house ~ which was the moment I realised that my naivety about going back to his house may have been a bold. Additionally I stopped for a stray dog on the side of the road which turned a 8 min drive into a 15 min trip.

I had to apologise on arrival, I knew he was a smart man when he replied with “he will be microchipped don’t worry” which is alarming familiar to the “he has a home” comments often repeated by my close friends and family.

His room testimony to his black cat vibes. Very clean and methodical everything had a home; including the beautiful plants he had mentioned earlier in the evening. Not to mention the beautiful hung posters with matching frames in alignment next to his bed. While I attempted to gain the well wishes of his flat cat he set off to get a drink.

When he arrived back he sat closer to me than he had before, limiting the space between our legs and shoulders to mere millimetres. Flirty. As the conversation grew more intimate as did we, I found myself snuggled into his side before divulging the strange lineage that lead to my chaotic Christmas plans.

After some light kissing grew deeper I blurted out something dumb like “I’m not going to sleep with you!” To which he smirked and replied “never?” In a questioning tone. After sharing the conversation I shared with my friend on the way he quickly reassured me he did in fact enjoy my company and although he wouldn’t say no, that wasn’t the reason I was invited back to his house. (Believe what you may… dm me maybe we can start a poll)

After a bit more chat it was time to go home. My thoughts and feels on this experience are mixed. Although id love to live in my naive bubble I can’t help but wonder if maybe the ex’s sister was right on this one.

[londonspirit]

October in London

I just realized I have not yet shared pics from my latest (and last) London trip (this year; I will be back now that traveling is doable again).  Four and a quarter glorious days in my fav city with the most beautiful weather one can ask for at the end of October! 

Arrived on Thursday on my own as C was going to join me on Friday so I had a day to myself. Sadly my evening plans got cancelled just two hours prior: the play I had wanted to see didn’t happen. Which was a shame as I’ve read quite a few nice things about it. (My Son’s a Queer But What Can You Do). So wandering around Camden Town/Greater London it was. Which is always nice. I LOVE London at night, it’s got that special feeling to it. Also: Camden Town this late isn’t as busy as over the day (although most shops and stores are closed or closing but still nice). (I also realized I may get to old for shared dorms... but it was just for one night so that wasn’t too bad) 

On Friday C arrived and we moved into our private room at the YHA in Earl’s Court. Basement, no wifi but with a garden and no strangers to share it with! After an unsuccessful trip to the nearest Tesco superstore for tea, we got ready for the Letters Live event at the RAH.  God, what a beautiful venue (even thought the first thing I saw was a freaking DALEK *hehe*). So very gorgeous! And what a line-up we had: Benedict Cumberbatch, Louise Brealey, Sue Perkins, Jonathan Pryce, Stephen Mangan, Graham Norton and so many more. The Letters were funny and heartbreaking, BC’s sea gull story had me in stitches (you know the one, with the hotel room and the pepperoni), and the period one was hysterical as well. There was some organ playing towards the end and DAMN, I still have goosebumps just thinking about that! Being in a place like that is such an amazing experience! Stage door was a bust and it was cold and windy and we were tired so thus endeth our Friday night adventure. 

But... we were back at the RAH on Saturday morning for a backstage tour. I always love these: you learn sooo much about a building and its history and the Royal Albert Hall is fascinating! Def going back there.  Sadly there was another stumble as the friend I wanted to meet up with was stuck in Leicester Square with no buses going and after some back and forth, we cancelled that meeting as well. Which is a shame, I haven’t seen her since the summer and I miss hanging out with her.  But we had to be at the Harold Pinter for our second trip highlight: the great David Tennant on stage!!! Having had booked tickets back in 2019 (!!!), it finally happened, almost two years later.  ... well, I’ve never left a play this disturbed, let me tell you that. I LOVE DT on stage, he always gives it his everything and his performance was outstanding as was the rest of the cast (well, two more people, Elliot Levey and Sharon Small). But the topic was just... ugh. I mean, it was so harrowing it really ruined the rest of the evening for us. And I’ve NEVER had that. I don’t know if it was because we’re Germans and shit like this ALWAYS hits differently, or because it’s too fucking relevant again these days, it was a freaking mood killer and we quickly went ‘home’ and to bed. (I will probably never get the image of DT in THAT uniform out of my head, and not for a good reason. *shudders* And I absolutely despise people saying he looked good in it.) 

Sunday morning we got up bright and early to FINALLY buy ALL THE TEA!!! (my backpack STILL smells like it and it’s the most beautiful scent!!)  The newly opened Battersea Power Station was our next stop where we waited about an hour to have London’s most amazing pancakes!!! Well worth it. The place just opened a week prior so things didn’t go as smoothly as one would expect but the manager soo made up for it! Everyone was stressed out but she was fluttering from table to table, checking on people, making sure everyone was happy (and our teas were on the house because we had waited so long). So if you go to ‘Where The Pancakes Are’ at Battersea Power Station be extra nice to her!  After that we had to hurry a bit to be at our booked slot for the Skygarden. First time for C to watch the sunset from there (second time for me) and it’s sooo worth it, even though it’s usually rather packed that time of day!!!  Also: the cocktails are super potent (and super expensive) so we spent the second half of the day a tad tipsy and very giggly, having another wander around London (even though we said we didn’t want to walk that much again - guess which day was the one where we walked the most? Yep, that Sunday! *hehe*)  It was late when we came back home but the spirits were once again high and happy! 

Monday was leaving day, always a sad one. But as always, London provided us with sooo many memories that it’ll last till the next time!!! 

Lots of love to C for coming along with me: soo needed, so wonderful! Here’s to the next time hopefully very very soon!!! 

#personal #london travels #london #theatre

[ipilates]

Summer (left pic) 2022. spring (right pic) 2022

Spring, Summer into Fall

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new” -Socrates

Summer is closing, and what a beautiful one it’s been in the uk. Unusually for me I took a little more time off than usual in August, I know it’s a valuable time for me to ‘chew the fat’. I tend to be way more creative in the light, long summer months and I’ve accepted a need to hunker down during winter, it’s all about survival mode and lots of sleep.

But here we are going into autumn, there’s a freshness in the air I adore. Personally, this is my new year, the transition that September delivers feels the right time to bring about any changes after a summer of lazy reflection. Forget New Years resolutions in January, who makes sane decisions in the middle of winter?

This year I have spent more time teaching from my garden studio, it feels right. It’s me and where I do my best teaching. At the home studio I teach privately and small groups of up to three people. We delve deep, get involved with all of the apparatus, it’s bespoke, transformative, healing and I see daily connections, mind, body and spirit.

It’s been a wonderful journey over the last 18 months, thank you Pandemic ;-)

Pilates at Mid Herts

Going back to Autumn 2013. ( I make the best changes around this time ;-), having moved house to Lower Gustard Wood, Mid Herts ( I love trees), serendipity found me our studio right next door! Literally a stones throw, after years of searching for the right space.

I’m super proud of creating a pilates studio that has held so many movement journeys. A safe space/container for me to connect, share, explore and teach. I have grown as a teacher, and most of you have grown with me. The space held me, it held you and I’m so grateful for the energy we created together at Mid Herts.

This year I invited Jo and Clair to come on board and share the space as I was being pulled to my home studio. They cherish it as much as I do, so it was an easy, natural transition. I can see them flourishing on their teaching journey and i’ts an honour.

So it feels right to me that they now hold that space. I am handing over the studio with love and hope that it can continue to flourish and heal. BUT! (I am keeping a few mat classes going so its not a final goodbye in that sense!) it’s just that lockdown made us all reevaluate, and personally I felt the need to simplify, recalibrate and evolve.

Working on a more personal level is my thing, holding and managing my own space is valuable to me. Having control and adaptability and less overheads feels safe.

I am working on writing, creative projects, teacher training/mentor programs and remaining very open to the next phase of my journey what ever comes about, my heart is open.

So it is with such gratitude to you all for being part of this incredible story, some of you ten plus years! I have actually thanked the space, I thanked her for holding me, for helping me to find my voice, to grow, to heal and find you.

It’s about the connections we make in life, I’m truly blessed.

i-Pilates HQ

So, apart from a select few mat classes remaining at MH, you’ll find me mostly here at home with Audrey staying true to the work, as ever committed to Pilates, welcoming you to my healing space.

What’s working well are my duo’s and I’m currently developing 3:1 studio lessons, All lessons here are bespoke to you, even if you are partnering up.

I’m just working on memberships / payment plans etc / timetable all the stuff I’m useless at but need to get my head around, patience please!

More importantly….

We move, we breathe, we find sanctuary and a moment in our day to quieten the mind, to pause and notice.

Heaps of love and gratitude💛

Jen

“What's dangerous is not to evolve.”-Jeff Bezos

#pilates #movement #fitness #words words words #seasons #change #pilatesstudio #pilates classical pilates teacher movement #passion #purpose #change is inevitable #evolve #growyourbusiness #adaption

[scotianostra]

On October 1st 1763 the contract to build Edinburgh's North Bridge was signed.

Edinburgh in the 1700s was a very different city to the one we know today. The city boundary was restricted to the dramatic crag and tail feature which swept eastwards from the castle. Up to 35,000 people inhabited a space under a mile long making Scotland’s capital one of the most densely populated urban areas in the world at that time. The overcrowded population were crammed into crumbling tenements, many of them up to fourteen storeys high in order to make the most of the limited space. Make no mistake, Edinburgh at this point in it's history, was a skyscraper city, very few cities in the world had buildings the height of our capital!

Edinburgh’s nobility were often forced to accept the unthinkable and share dwellings with the lower classes. Change was not just desired, it was deemed an absolute necessity if the city was ever to move forward.

Plans to build a New Town to the north were discussed as early as the 1750s but without the means of connecting it with the rest of Edinburgh, it would be nothing more than a fanciful dream. Phase one required the draining of the ancient Nor’ Loch, a man-made stagnant body of water located in the area which we now term as Princes Street Gardens. Drainage began in 1759 and would continue up until the 1820s. Dry land at the east of the Nor’ Loch valley allowed for what was undoubtedly the most ambitious engineering project to have been built in the city at that point: An eleven-hundred foot long stone bridge. The North Bridge, as it would be named, enabled the New Town to become a reality. A brand new chapter in the city’s history was about to begin.

And so it was that the foundation stone of architect William Mylne’s North Bridge was laid on 1st October 1763 but it would be a further two years before any serious amount of progress was made. Nearing completion, the magnificent multi-arched bridge first opened to pedestrians in 1769 to much fanfare and excitement.   However, the cheers would soon be emphatically silenced that summer due to a disaster of epic proportions.

On the evening of Thursday, 3rd August 1769 the side walls of the south abutment of the bridge suddenly gave way, causing a partial collapse of the structure and tragically claiming the lives of five people.

Rescue efforts were recorded by newspaper the Caledonian Mercury which detailed the grim discoveries of bodies "buried in the rubbish, occasioned by the fall of the walls of the south abutment of the new bridge over the north loch".

Two of the bodies were identified as belonging to Mr Lawson, shoemaker, and Mr James Fergus, a local writer.

The Caledonian Mercury went on to mention that workers had been digging almost day and night since the collapse and that at least three to four others were feared to have shared the "same unhappy fate with the two already found".

A contemporary letter penned by a Darcy, Lady Maxwell recalls the evening of the collapse, which she had witnessed, writing 

“The Lord, who is continually loading me with his benefits, has twice this day remarkable interfered on my behalf. In the evening he preserved me from broken bones to which I was exposed in a fall. A few hours after, when walking home from chapel, I witnessed a most melancholy scene occasioned by the falling in of the North Bridge. I… was within five minutes of passing over it… when almost in a moment, the greatest noise I ever heard (except on a similar occasion when I was remarkably preserved) filled the air."It seemed as if the pillars of nature were giving way. Instantly, the cry resounded “the bridge is fallen!”

A full inquiry followed and identified haste in construction and a poorly-calculated estimate regarding the depth of the foundations and sturdiness of the earth-filled abutments as the chief causes behind the disaster.

Rebuilding work demanded £18,000 (almost double the original £10,140 cost of the project) and the city would have to wait until 1772 before the grand reopening.  The original North Bridge survived more than a century until the 1890s, when engineers devised an improved link that would allow for greater flow of traffic, this was at the time Waverley Train Station was being constructed. 

Construction of the current steel bridge that we know today was completed in 1897 at a cost of £81,000., with the North British Railway Company contributing to a third of the cost.

A plaque recalling the founding and dismantling of the original North Bridge occupies a wall of the present bridge, which has now stood for roughly the same length of time as its predecessor.

The pictures show the evolution of the Nor Loch, I can’t find dates for them all, but you will see  in the first one that the Loch is still not fully drained and very little signs of buildings on the North side, pic two shows buildings where the Balmoral Hotel now sits.

In the third pic there are signs of a Market where we now have Waverley Station, the street and buildings under the far side are now called Market Street. Pic four is dated around 1809, all the buildings you see on the left are now gone. On the top roght corner is what was The North British Train Station, the bottom of the picture you can see what is now known as “The Mound. Next pic is I guess from mid 19th century, still a long way from the construction of Waverley Station. Pic six shows the North Bridge being  dismantling early 1896,  and then   "The Ceremony of Laying the Foundation Stone of the New North Bridge Edinburgh 25th May 1896, leading on to the  commemorative plaque, which is from around the same time.

Finally is a pic of how the North Bridge looks in 2021, not much to see as it is in cladding while a multi-million restoration is taking place, the cost of refurbishing the bridge has soared from £22 million to £36m after the landmark structure was found to be in worse condition than expected. Last October the council issued a statement saying 

“Due to the nature of the construction of the bridge, full access behind the cast iron façade has not been available since it was constructed in 1897 and the last full refurbishment of this nature was in 1933. It has not been possible to properly inspect the hidden structural elements in almost 90 years.”

The briefing said testing had led to the discovery of “extensive issues” with the existing concrete bridge deck constructed in 1933.

#Scotland #scottish #Bridge #transport infrastructure #Edinburgh #north bridge #waverley station

[thegirl20]

Witcher Femslash February - Chaos

Way back in January, @xxtorchxx​ got in touch with me to see if I would like to write a fic about an amazing manip she’d created. Of course I said yes and then immediately got writers’ block. 

Working my way through @bamf-jaskier‘s list of femslash february ficlets has been my attempt at making myself write again so that I could fulfil my promise. 

So it only feels fitting that the final one should be the fic I should have written in January. 😊

Here’s the pic: 

And the fic is below the cut.

Once upon a time, it would have been unthinkable for Tissaia to be sitting in Yennefer's house, sipping wine and laughing over stories about the mishaps of shared acquaintances. It would have been absurd for them to be in each other's company without the situation deteriorating into a battle of words; a war of nerves.

But these days, it's not unusual at all.

Everything changed at Sodden Hill. The battle was hard won, and left both of them injured. It was during the aftermath that they started to grow closer. Tissaia's recovery had been long and beleaguered with setbacks. The healers had barely begun to rid her body of dimeritium when infection took hold and had her teetering between life and death once more.

Yennefer had been by her side as soon as she was allowed out of bed, her own injuries still healing. 'Allowed' being subjective, of course. The healers grew tired of chasing her back to her own room soon enough and just let her stay as Tissaia went through her own battle. Even if she couldn't fight alongside her, this time, Yennefer was determined that she would not be alone. She'd held her hand through interminable nights, counting her breaths, holding her own when it seemed the next one wasn't coming fast enough. She'd talked to her through her delirium, smiling through tears at the absurdities spilling from the usually sensible lips.

She had finally turned a corner when a particularly awful fever finally broke one night. She turned to Yennefer with eyes clearer than she'd seen them since the morning of the battle, and smiled. And Yennefer's heart found its rhythm once more.

Even once it was certain that Tissaia would recover, Yennefer never strayed far from Aretuza for a long time. It was many weeks after her own healing was complete that she finally struck out again, into the world. But she made sure to visit often, and urged Tissaia to do the same.

That is why it's not a surprise when Tissaia shows up at the house Yennefer keeps in Velen, with a very fine bottle of wine from Aretuza's cellar and a smile.

"I thought we could enjoy it in your garden," Tissaia says, once Yennefer has picked up a couple of glasses. "I'm not sure we'll keep this warmth for much longer."

"An excellent idea," Yennefer says, gesturing for Tissaia to walk in front of her out into the late summer evening.

They sit at the small table set on a terrace and Yennefer pours the wine. Tissaia picks up her glass and swirls the russet liquid around, inhaling its scent before taking a sip. She hums her approval.

"I knew this would be a good one."

Taking her own sip, Yennefer agrees. "It is quite exquisite."

She settles further into her chair and watches as Tissaia lifts her face to the sun, closing her eyes. Yennefer enjoys these moments more than any other, seeing Tissaia so relaxed and informal.

"So, what's been happening at Aretuza, then?" Yennefer asks. "Anything scandalous to share with me?"

"I fear not," Tissaia opens her eyes and smiles. "The new batch of girls are, thankfully, better than the last ones. There are one or two showing real promise already."

An age old spike of jealousy pokes at Yennefer's stomach and she frowns at her own irrationality. Tissaia's hand covers her own where it rests on the table between them and she turns to meet amused eyes.

"None of them are anywhere close to your ability, Yennefer. Don't concern yourself with that."

Embarrassed to have been caught in her feelings, Yennefer shifts in her seat and lifts her nose in the air. "Well, good. Can't have you finding a new favourite, can we?"

"No, indeed," Tissaia agrees, as Yennefer takes a sip of wine. "Sabrina would be most disappointed to be demoted."

The joke is so unexpected that Yennefer chokes on her wine. She doesn't quite manage to get a hand to her mouth to cover the cough, and she ends up with wine dripping from her chin, onto her chest and her dress. Before she knows what's happening, Tissaia is up out of her seat, dabbing at her face and her neck, then her chest.

"For goodness' sake, Yennefer," she tuts. "What a mess you've made of yourself."

"Me?" Yennefer croaks.

From nowhere, a picture appears in her mind.

Tissaia bends to press her lips to Yennefer's throat, her tongue snaking out to catch the droplets of wine still lingering there, before moving around and down, onto her chest and-

The vision slams shut so suddenly Yennefer jumps. It's only then she realises that the fantasy was not her own, but belonged to Tissaia. Blood rushes to Yennefer's cheeks at the very thought, and her eyes snap up to meet troubled blue ones. This has happened, on occasion, since Sodden; Tissaia has had momentary lapses in control, resulting in her thoughts being more accessible than usual. But not this kind of thought.

Yennefer puts a hand on Tissaia's wrist, where she's still holding the napkin against her chest. She decides not to embarrass the other woman.

"If you want to kill me, Tissaia, there are easier ways than suddenly developing a sense of humour." She coughs again, though her throat is cleared.

There's a slight crease between Tissaia's eyebrows, she clearly knows Yennefer has seen something. But her mouth twitches into a smile and she nods. She presses the napkin into Yennefer's hand and backs away.

"I'll have you know my sense of humour is very well developed," Tissaia says, sitting herself down again. "Perhaps it's only now that you're older that you appreciate my wit."

"Perhaps that's it," Yennefer agrees, wiping herself down. "Though I'd appreciate it if you gave me a little more warning the next time you are about to make a joke so that I can ensure I'm not drinking at the time."

"Agreed," Tissaia holds up her glass and Yennefer clinks her own against it in a silent acknowledgement of what has passed between them and an agreement never to mention it again.

--------

The problem is, Yennefer can think of little else.

After Tissaia leaves that evening, Yennefer lies in bed, staring at the ceiling. She replays the vision over and over, embellishing it in her own mind, taking it further each time. She pictures Tissaia's mouth trailing down her chest, between her breasts, burying her face in them. She imagines small, powerful hands on her body, touching her everywhere. When she envisages what Tissaia would look like between her legs, framed by her thighs, she can't hold off any longer, and she has to touch herself to relieve the aching need that's been growing since the picture first appeared in her mind.

She gets herself off. It's not pretty, or slow, but it does the job. Once that's dealt with, she returns to her previous activity of lying awake with too many thoughts in her head.

It's a lot to come to terms with. While she has harboured confusing and contradictory feelings about Tissaia for most of her life, she had assumed Tissaia saw her as no more than a former student. Latterly, perhaps a friend.

After all, it had been Vilgefortz who had come to find her before Sodden, not Tissaia. Tissaia's own plea had followed a sound trouncing at the Conclave; confirmation that the endeavour would not be supported en masse. Tissaia begging her to come along had been a last resort. It did not speak of high regard nor special favour.

This vision of them together is more than likely just a result of a sexual fantasy, she decides. Yennefer is no stranger to those; both having them and being the object of them. Rarely, though, do the two combine. While she often pities men for falling over themselves just for a chance to be taken to her bed, the thought that Tissaia wants her in that way is thrilling.

She ignores the part of her mind that is telling her that to have Tissaia so close, and not have her heart, would be devastating. She sighs. It's not like she's unaccustomed to heartache.

And this? This might be worth it.

------

A week passes, and Tissaia has not contacted her. Yennefer is almost out of her mind with questions and desires. Sleep eludes her and she has no appetite for any of the sumptuous meals she orders or conjures. Simply put, she is on hold. She is at the mercy of a fantasy that's not even her own.

By the eighth day, she decides she will have to be the one to make the first move this time. She must go to Tissaia. Not only that, but she must offer Tissaia what it is she clearly wants. Then they will both be able to slake a thirst, and Yennefer might be able to return to some semblance of her normal life.

Give that this may be the only time in her life she gets to be with Tissaia, Yennefer decides that a bit of a show is in order. She conjures up the gown she had worn when they met in Rinde. It has always made her feel powerful, in control.

And Tissaia seemed to enjoy looking at her in it.

As she sits before her mirror, painting her lips, Yennefer recalls that day. Tissaia's voice appearing from nowhere, her smile in the mirror, her hands on Yennefer's shoulders. Even the memory of that very innocent touch now makes her shiver with want.

She applies a dab of her signature scent behind her ears and on the pulse points in her wrists. She checks her reflection in the mirror and smiles. Yes, this will do nicely.

Standing up, she tells herself that the flutter in her stomach is excitement, rather than nerves. But just before she conjures a portal, she takes a swig of strong liquor from a hip flask she keeps in her drawer. With a final nod at herself in the mirror, she calls the portal directly into Tissaia's study, and steps through it.

If Tissaia's startled by her appearing from nowhere, she shows no sign of it. In fact, her face shows relief for the briefest of moments, before her brows gather in confusion as she takes in Yennefer's outfit. She's standing by her desk, reading a document which she sets down and turns to fully appraise Yennefer.

"I- I wasn't expecting you," Tissaia says, still looking at the outfit. "Did you mean to come here? Are you going somewhere?"

Seeing Tissaia off-balance like this should make Yennefer want to pounce, to grab the control and hold on to it. But it just makes her want to take Tissaia in her arms and kiss the confusion from her beautiful face. But that's not what tonight is for so she straightens her shoulders, letting a confident smile slide onto her lips.

"Can I not drop by unannounced to see my favourite Rectoress?" she says, perusing the objects on Tissaia's shelves, trying to calm her stomach.

"Of course you can," Tissaia says, hesitantly. "I just-" A pause. "You seem overdressed, that's all."

Yennefer grins, but hides it as she turns to look over her shoulder. "You'd prefer me to be wearing less?"

Tissaia shakes her head, turning away. "I don't-"

She'll have to speed this up if Tissaia's not to balk. She lifts her head and saunters over to stand by Tissaia at her desk. "Come on, Tissaia." She takes Tissaia's chin in her hand and gently turns her face back around. "We both know that you like looking at me." She lets the tip of her tongue touch her top lip. "And we both know you'd like to do a lot more than look."

Realisation blooms in Tissaia's eyes, and it's like the sun going down. Colour rises in her cheeks and it sends a fire rippling over Yennefer's skin. "How dare you," she begins, her voice low and dangerous.

Yennefer presses a finger to Tissaia's lips. "Shhhh." She shakes her head, eyes on Tissaia's mouth. "Just for tonight, I can be whatever you want me to be." She reaches out and runs her forefinger over the buttons on Tissaia's chest. "We could be-oooofff."

The wind is knocked from Yennefer's lungs as she is thrown across the room by a telekinetic blast, crashing into the wall and sliding to the floor. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to clear her head where it's ringing from the impact and the magic. When she opens them, Tissaia's shoes are by her head. She looks up and can't help but cringe at the absolute fury radiating from the Rectoress.

"Do you think this is funny, girl?" Tissaia demands. "Taking my moment of weakness and exploiting it for your own amusement?"

"Wh-what?" Yennefer sits up, rubbing at her shoulder. "No! Of course not. That's not what-"

"I had assumed you would be an adult about my-" She turns and walks away a few paces. "About what you saw." She shakes her head. "Clearly I expected too much of you."

"Tissaia," Yennefer tries again. "That's not-" She uses the wall to steady herself as she gets to her feet.

Spinning to face Yennefer once more, Tissaia narrows her eyes. "I will not be one of your conquests, Yennefer," Tissaia says. Her eyes are hard, but Yennefer can see the pain swimming behind the anger.

"I was kind of hoping to become one of yours!" Yennefer mutters, regretting it immediately when she sees the flash of anguish on Tissaia's face.

"You would stand there and mock me?" Tissaia says, her voice hardly above a whisper. "After all we have been through together?"

"No, Tissaia, please let me-"

"Go." Tissaia says, turning away. "Get out of my sight.

"I'm not leaving it like this," Yennefer says, unsteadily marching towards Tissaia. She touches her shoulder, but her hand is batted away. "Tissaia, you need to let me-"

"I don't need to let you do anything," Tissaia says. She turns around, and the anger is gone, leaving only sadness so deep it cracks Yennefer's heart in two. Before she can do anything, though, Tissaia holds up a hand and Yennefer feels a wind behind her, she turns to find a portal spinning there, sucking her backwards. The last thing she sees before she is pulled into it is a tear running down Tissaia's face. "Goodbye Yennefer."

"No! Wait!"

For the second time in five minutes, Yennefer is deposited on her backside. She looks around, disorientated. She has no clue where she is, but it's definitely unpleasant. A bog of some sort. With a sigh, she gets to her feet, determined to set things right.

She calls her own portal, but when she sets the destination as Tissaia's study, the portal collapses. Tissaia has clearly put up wards to prevent her entering. "Fuck." Yennefer curses under her breath. "Of course."

She changes tack, directing her portal to just outside Aretuza's walls. When she steps through, the wind is howling and it's pouring with rain. She's drenched through in seconds, but she pays the weather no heed, taking off at a run through the great gates of the school and in the main door. Thankfully nobody challenges her, even though she must look like a drowned rat. She makes her way through the winding corridors and stairways; so familiar she could navigate them blindfolded.

She reaches Tissaia's apartments, and doesn't bother to knock, only hoping that the wards were limited to portals and that the door will let her through. The handle turns easily and she barges in.

Tissaia is seated at her desk, her head in her hands. She looks up at the noisy entrance and Yennefer's heart breaks all over again at the tear stains on her cheeks.

"What on-" Tissaia stands. "Are you stupid?"

"Probably," Yennefer says, not slowing her pace until she's standing directly in front of Tissaia. "But not stupid enough to walk away without making you see-"

"See what?" Tissaia snaps. She takes in Yennefer's appearance, although it's far less admiring than it was earlier. "You're dripping all over my rug."

Yennefer ignores her, taking her face in her hands, well aware she could be taking her own life in her hands with it. "I'm an idiot, yes. But so are you."

Tissaia gasps. "I am not-"

"Yes, you are," Yennefer says, her confidence growing a little since Tissaia hasn't incinerated her on sight. She sighs, shaking her head. "I've gone about this all wrong, and I'm sorry for that, but I need you to see-" She can feel tears leaking from her eyes in response to the ones shining in Tissaia's. "I need you to understand what I feel for you."

"I think you made that perfectly clear earlier," Tissaia says, but her voice is wavering.

"No, I didn't. I thought that was all you wanted from me. I thought that was the only way I'd be able to be with you. But that's not all I want. Not even close."

Tissaia's hands come up to grip her wrists lightly. "Wh-what do you want?"

Yennefer tilts her head and smiles, the answer is the same as last time, but means so much more.

"Everything."

She pulls Tissaia in, wiping at her tears with her thumbs, and touches their foreheads together, opening her mind and letting Tissaia in completely.

"Don't you feel it? The serenity? I felt it at Sodden. I felt, for the first time in my life, that I was completely in control." She closes her eyes. "And it's because of this. Because of us. We balance each other. My chaos, it...settles, when I'm with you. When we're apart, something is missing and my I'm always restless, always looking for some outlet."

She feels Tissaia's breath against her lips a second before they are covered, enveloped in soft warmth. One of them makes a high, needy sound, and Yennefer thinks it might be her. Tissaia's hands move from her wrists down her arms, to her waist, deepening the embrace. As they kiss, Tissaia's mind slowly opens and Yennefer sees so much love and care that it threatens to overwhelm her.

Gently, she pushes Tissaia back, ending their kiss, but pressing their foreheads back together, gulping in air. When she can speak again, she laughs. "So...it's not just me, then?"

"No," Tissaia says, returning her smile. "Not just you." She traces her fingers down Yennefer's cheek. "Although I do have questions about your earlier antics." She plucks at the now limp and soaking bodice. "And your attire."

"I'm sorry," Yennefer murmurs, brushing Tissaia's lips with her own. "Forgive me?"

"Oh, darling." Tissaia makes a show of rolling her eyes, but there's no disguising the smile she's wearing. She tips Yennefer's face down with a finger on her chin and kisses her again. "Don't I always?"

Yennefer grins into their next kiss, allowing Tissaia's open mind to welcome her in once again, as she does the same in return.

She's kissed many people in her lifetime, but it's never felt like this. It's never felt like being seen, being known, completely.

But this? This feels like forever.

#yennaia #the witcher #fic by me #wff #femslash february #xxtorchxx #yennefer of vengerberg #tissaia de vries

[botanyshitposts]

You seem like the kind of person who would have strong opinions and/or interesting facts about air plants to share. also please explain them to me because no dirt?? how tho??

ohh man...love those little lads. to be completely honest i’m neutral on them as houseplants, but their biology is kind of hardcore. 

the ‘air plant’ genus (as in the air plants sold in stores and stuff) is called Tillandsia. they’re native to central and south america. i love the first hand account of them in Carlos Magdalena’s The Plant Messiah --which is a really good book and one i recommend to anybody wanting to read something both plant science specific and accessible to non-academics-- and i always end up thinking about it when i see them anywhere day to day, because it’s a really vivid and kind of haunting description of how these plants live in the wild. it’s kind of a longer quote (pages 169-170), but it’s crazy to think about knowing how they’re most well known in north america as houseplants of all things: 

“The National Reserve of San Fernando, about half an hour’s drive from Nazca, is devoted to the rich wildlife areas of the sea and the fog-dependent vegetation by the coastal hills. It is one of the best national parks in Peru for biodiversity, boasting 90 species of desert plants, 90 species of fish and crustaceans, 252 species of birds and a host of animals and reptiles. The Humbolt Current flowing along the coast is relatively cold, like the sea in an early summer at Brighton beach, and cools the air above it. This spreads over the hot land at night, and when the hot and cold air collide, fog or mist forms, which waters the plants. 

I and the rest of the team, including Oliver Whaley and William Milliken from Kew, left the main road at night, and and arrived in the vast desert that runs between Nazca and the coast as the sun rose. There was hardly anything alive. Our shadows were many metres long and projected themselves endlessly over the dunes as we drove. 

There is nothing along this strip of the coast for about 300 or 400 kilometres, and in some areas it is not thought to have rained for thousands of years. Our plan was to cross the desert through the centre, reach the coast, then drive from north to south before returning to Nazca. We started at 4 a.m. to avoid the midday heat of the desert, and only got to bed at around 1 a.m. the next day. With no stop for sleep, we drove for over twenty hours straight. 

The red desert, with its weathered stones and sand, was how I imagine Mars. It felt like we were driving over ground that had never been disturbed before, but after a while, we found some tyre tracks and decided to follow them to avoid further damage to the desert. All around us there was nothing. 

We drove up a mound twenty metres tall to survey the landscape; in the distance we could see ripples in the sand. As we came closer the ripples became lines of Tillandsias, known as clavel del aire (air carnation) or clavelinos (little carnations) in South America. They can survive in the harshest conditions imaginable, where even cacti do not grow. All the lines faced the same way. The wind blows through the Tillandsias and the angle of the leaves makes ripples in the same; as the ripples increase in size, the Tillandsias grow to compensate. The bodies of some Tillandsias have been found to extend three or four metres down into the sand. Thanks to the results of carbon dating, they are believed to be growing from a seed that germinated 14,000 years ago, making them older than ‘Methuselah’ -- a Californian bristlecone pine that is nearly 4,900 years old. 

When we looked closely we could see the condensation on the Tillandsia leaves; behind each plant, in the shadow, the ground was wet where the water had dripped from the leaves [...] Even though it was almost impossibly dry, it was still able to bloom, all because of the fog.”

so, to contextualize this a bit, yes, air plants are usually epiphytes that grow on the branches of cacti and in trees and on telephone wires and pretty much on/around whatever they can latch onto, but the native population Magdalena is describing here literally lives on the dunes and holds the formations together. this is a photo from the San Fernando website: 

wild. like. could you imagine being an air plant sitting in one of those instagram hanging globe things in an earl may in the american midwest and meanwhile other members of your species are thousands of years old and are physically holding a remote expanse of desert together

anyway. magdalena describes how these plants get their water by absorbing it from fog that rolls inland, but he doesn’t describe the mechanisms they use to do that. the leaves of these plants are covered in tons of delicate microscopic scales; they can develop on the roots, too, and their structure helps water condense more efficiently from the fog, which in turn facilitates Slurping Activities. this is a picture of a leaf tip from one i took on a microscope in plant anatomy last semester: 

honestly one of the coolest pics i got from that class. look at this. they’re such intricate structures when you look at them this closely, and yet you have these same plants living on a landscape so remote that it takes 20 hours on a dune buggy to get out there, so desolate that a Kew gardens botanical horticulturist compares their habitat to mars. they live in tons of different environments, of course --when your range is like, from texas to argentina, you gotta have some wiggle room to make shit work-- but it’s just cool. like. i know people love them firsthand for their lives in captivity and their aesthetic value, but you gotta admire that kind of resilience in the wild. 

#ahhh man im kind of foggy today but i hope this is coherent #just love those little weird scales. like what the hell #also again 'the plant messiah' is really good #books #asks #plont asks #long post #Anonymous

[grumpygreenwitch]

Summer Gardening.

So it’s been a while, and for that I apologize to the... 200+ people who follow me. I’m sure y’all are here for the cat pics and the nekked men, but TOO BAD. Today you get to suffer through pics of my green children. Also, I do share seed. My seed list link will be up later in the year. To begin with, the summer flowers are out en force:

Echinacea Purpurea, the original echinacea. I do save yearly seed from these guys, although it’s an incredibly pointy, stabby and bleed-y job. 

Mountain Phlox. Unfortunately, all of it around the house is afflicted with powdery mildew, so I will not share seed. But it’s still pretty to look at, and the clearwings (hummingbird moths) love it. Not pictured is the white variant, who grows on the other side of the house. Look, it was hot and I was already melting.

Peppermint Balsam. This thing is basically indestructible, for an annual. It will reseed freely (to truly Lovecraftian levels) and blooms continuously from late spring until mid-fall, when the seed-pods set. There is a dormant genetic in it for double flowers, but when it pops up it’s always been sterile. It just pops up occasionally from the peppermint seed.

I may give the roommate hell over the hostas (I hate them. They’re so useful to protect toads and control weeds, but I hate them), but they do put out pretty flowers. There are several variants around the house - white-edged, blue and green, but hostas in general are very, very hard to start from seed. I will save it on request, only. We were also incredibly lucky to have a Moth Mullein sprout in our porch bed, along with some Variegated Solomon’s Seal.The SS doesn’t put out seeds, and I don’t have enough to share bulbs (yet), but the mullein has been exceptionally generous with seed pods, and it repels bugs. It repels ROACHES. It’s going everywhere. And I may be convinced to part with some seed.

Onward!

A view from a hill. Can you see the garden? That’s OK, I can’t either. Those are peach trees, on the side of the orchard closest to the house. Unfortunately a freak storm during early spring killed all the blossoms. Also, don’t mistake ‘orchard’ for ‘organized’. There’s a pear, some apples, a plum, some nectarines? And front and center are two walnuts. I’ll probably be plunking my laurel there to see if it survives winter. And someday when I have a job and money again, I would like to drop a few Chicago Hardy figs, and maybe a kiwi trellis.

This is the big garden (and fortunately not my responsibility, or I would cry). The guys are ‘handling’ it. The weeds say otherwise.

The jasmine tree and the roommate’s garden. Because of a bad back injury that refuses to heal, I’ve been helping them on and off with it. And if you thought jasmine was supposed to stay a delightful little bush, AHAHAHAHAH. Yes, that’s a light-post next to it. For size comparison.

MY CHILDREN. Please ignore the dead soccer ball. That’d be a dog toy.

Lemon balm, amaranth, and a new bed that I’ll be finishing off during fall, for use next year. The lemon balm is a permanent row - it will overwinter just fine, and it will even keep growing through the mildest part of December. Mine didn’t die back until a few solid days of sleet in January. Unfortunately the weed fabric under the amaranth turned out to be an old roll, and fell apart on me (no big, the whole point is for it to fall apart eventually), so the weeds have kinda eaten it alive.

Unfortunately, both cucumber beetles and blister beetles love the amaranth. Fortunately, it does not seem to give a damn. It’s an incredibly resilient plant, not minding weeds, bugs, flood or drought. We’ll see what the grain actually tastes like, but so far it’s looking like a good candidate for continuous growing.

The lemon balm is lemon-balming. Planted on a lark, it’s proven to be a fantastic wind-breaker - because it grows so early and so quick, it keeps the colder winds that come down through the hollow from my more fragile seedlings, like the lettuce, dill and cilantro. You can see here where the spent flower-heads are dying but there’s new growth underneath; I really have to get in there and behead it. It makes nice hot tea, meh cold tea, and hanging fresh bunches of it around the balcony keeps the skeeters off. It also seems to be a decoy for cabbage moths.

Canary Zinnia. The seed was sent to me as a gift with one of my seed orders, and this is my first year growing it. -If- I can save some, I’ll definitely be sharing and growing again. It’s a lovely plant, very sturdy, and the bees love it.

Dwarf Castor Oil. I don’t think there’s anything dwarf about it, but then I’m a short green witch myself, so maybe it’s all about perspective. Don’t let the pods lie to you, until they dry the spikes are relatively soft. However, it being castor oil, I don’t recommend it to anyone with ducks, chickens, goats, or anything that might accidentally try talking a nibble or pecking at the beans. I do, however, recommend them from jewelry if you know how to pierce things and so on. They are a gorgeous tiger-stripe pattern.

Say hello to the chard! Say goodbye to the chard! Nothing else, absolutely nothing else since the limas, has given me so much trouble. The deer love getting into my chard bed and destroying it (ergo all the forks). And once I managed to chase those off, the blister beetles showed up in force. This will be the last year I grow it - we just don’t eat enough of it to make it worth my while, and it only occasionally sold at the Farmers’ Market.

Red lettuce - Merlot and Lollo Vino, a combination of bought and saved seed. I planted a red romaine of some sort, too, but unsurprisingly it bolted in the heat. The darker reds of my favorites, though, keep bugs off them, keep deer from noticing them, and keep them from bolting. It’s just now threatening to, and at this point its kind of allowed. I need more seed for next year. Seed for this will likely be shared by the teaspoon-ful.

Calendula! I searched for a long time to find the plain ol’ calendula officinalis ancestor, rather than a cultivar where I would have no way of knowing if the medicinal principles would have been sacrificed for looks. It’s supposed to work well as poor man’s saffron (color, no taste), and I’m going to be soaking the heck outta my feet on it during winter. The plant is... not pretty. It gets leggy and the leaves get grotty very quickly. But it’s very sturdy and as long as you cut the flowerheads off as fast as you can, it’ll keep blooming until well into winter. I usually leave it to go to seed around late September.

Green cilantro seeds. You pick ‘em when they’re brown, but before they drop off the plant. Or you pick ‘em when they’re brown-ing, and put them in a paper bag so they’ll finish ripening there and you don’t end up with fifty wild cilantro plants in your garden >_> Most of the row is already gone, and I’ll be putting in a late dill crop in its place. No such thing as too  much dill!

Don’t let lemongrass lie to you. Unless you tie it up, it will not grow up neat and tidy, as most grass does. Instead it will sprawl like a dramatic wilting Elizabethan lady and do its best to end up under your feet so you’ll feel bad about it. I just tie it up with a half-blade of grass; it dries up and withers away before it can hurt the plant.

I ordered pennyroyal seed because... Well, because it’s something one should have on hand, considering the way the world is going. What I got was Creeping Pennyroyal, which doesn’t care if you step on it (mint family), smells absolutely delightful, and has the most adorable, tiny purple flowers. I plan on harvesting, drying and sprinkling it everywhere in the crawlspace under the house. Making war on cave crickets, wood roaches, and other such sundries, me.

The thyme and Spicy Oregano took a beating in the heat, but they’re slowly bouncing back. The bed behind them is more pennyroyal, desperately in need of weeding, but there’s only one of me, y’know.

SIGH. Just. You absolute, ill-mannered monster of a creature. That would be horseradish, gloriously happy to be alive, as horseradish should be. Also, NOT IN ITS BASKET. Because never mind the rules, I guess.

I don’t even know how I’m gonna dig that up come winter. With some construction equipment, I GUESS. 

Decorative gourd! It’s the only one producing so far, but being the seed was 10+ years old, I’m very pleased.

And an apple gourd (I think?), from a mixture of drying gourds that was only slightly less ancient. Snake, apple and birdhouse gourds. There’s a bunch of them competing in the basket at this point, we’ll see what we will see.

And this, I think, is a great use of a dead canopy frame (the dogs ate the canopy. No, I’m not making it up.) I hope to coax the gourds to grow me a lil’ roof so I can sit in shade, surrounded by pennyroyal anti-skeeter barriers, eating my maters.

My Peter Peppers (nrehehehehe) aren’t producing yet - it takes them a while. But my Chinese 5-Color are getting started. It’s a lovely pepper, both edible and ornamental, with (so I’m told) about four times the heat of a Jalapeno. They’re tiny, with deep purple undertones to the plant. They’ll go purple-white-yellow-orange-red.

The bullhorns, on the other hand, are fairly sizable SWEET peppers on very tiny plants, and I honestly suggest staking them while they’re young so they grow a sturdy trunk, else you might end up with all of them growing at a slant.They’re just now beginning to turn colors. Keeping in mind I’m virulently allergic to peppers (less so sweet than hot, but allergic to all of them), the roommate loves ‘em.

It’s a small pepper bed - mainly to refresh my seed on the hots, and to grow sweets for the roommate. Pardon the nekked bed, the autumn lettuce hasn’t sprouted yet. And yes, that’s a mixed basil/dill bed next to it. My basil grew in patchy holes (NEVER buying from those seed people again), so I filled the holes with dill. Unfortunately, dill seed heads are so fine that they’re hard to photograph well.

The tomato row. After arguing with them for this long, I went the extra mile. Every plant has a metal stake. There’s also a double line growing at the top supporting the stakes so they don’t fall over. And they still fell over. Because why not, you unruly children, why not.

Green, white, pink and brown cherry tomatoes. Delicious!

Two kinds of cucumbers, some of the only decent shots of the dill seed-heads, and a special guest hiding in the shade. I usually plant dill as soon as the cucumber sprouts, to keep cucumber beetles off it. Otherwise I’d have no cucumbers and a lot of fat beetles.

The Muncher is a small cucumber, somewhat delicate. It’s very sensitive to temperature changes, and it’s candy to cucumber beetles - basically, it’s impossible to grow it without a heavy curtain of dill, or a heavy duty decoy. This year I got lucky enough to have both. It’s also delicious pickled, keeping its crunch and getting a good ooomph in flavor.

The Japanese Long is, as the name implies, long. It’s also incredibly bitey, and absolutely scrumptious. It’s sweet! And unlike the average cucumber, it does not go metallic when salted.

And now for the SPECIAL CHILD OF MY HEART. Seriously. I have been lusting after Blue Tea Peas since I first saw them offered, and every single time they’d be sold out pretty much the day of. This year I finally got some and... remember me mentioning that freak freeze that killed the peach blossoms? Yeah. Guess what it also killed. But two plants soldiered on. I have them heavily shielded by the cucumbers, dill and chamomile, and really I have no words for the blue. Pics don’t do it justice. I won’t have the tea this year, I’m saving as much seed as I can, but I am so pleased to have it at all!

 Last, but not least, and it’s a poor shot of it, the chamomile. I cannot drink chamomile to sleep - it does put me to sleep, but it also gives me bad dreams. I plan on using it as a skin wash for all the bug bites, along with the calendula, and to give me some respite from dry skin during winter.

Stay green! See you in fall! Now back to our normal schedule of frogs, cats and nekked men!

#garden #summer garden #gourd #tomatoes #calendula #hot peppers #sweet peppers #basil #dill #lettuce #red lettuce #chard #cilantro #horseradish #cucumber #amaranth #lemon balm #chamomile #blue tea pea #castor oil #zinnia #mountain phlox #echinacea #balsam #pennyroyal #thyme #oregano #lemongrass

[jokerownsmysoul]

the extension of two souls shared around a tiny table

Summary: on a sunny spring morning you’re enjoying each other’s presence, your love is stronger than ever while your daughter is looking for Joker to spend some time with her daddy. You’re just… happy.

Pairings: Joker x Reader + biological daughter Content: soft, fluff

Warnings: nothing?? Only fluffy things

Word count: 4453

If you want, for a better atmosphere I was listening to this song.

A/N, just one thing: I got inspired by a dream I had two nights ago about Joker, I was afraid to write it because usually is Arthur having a family, I’ve never read this prompt with Joker. But still in my dream there was Joker, not Arthur, he came to me without me calling him and I didn’t want to change it by putting Arthur instead. I just wondered what Joker would do if he had a family and that’s what came out. It was a long shot to write it because I know that this fluffy version of Joker may not be supported by everyone but I run the risk, in any case I would understand it because each of us see him in his own way I didn’t know fluffy Joker hit me that much and I want to write a second part and a series dedicated to this family so badlyyyy I loved them and the connection between Joker and his daughter. and it makes me sad that he doesn’t have all of this :( This fic opened my heart in half and filled it with flowers and made them bloom and I hope you will appreciate it too.

Also… What are the chances of me finding this pic which shows two important elements I put in this fic, especially the green teddy bear, after I wrote it? I loved this coincidence and I like to think that this fic was just meant to be

A/N: english is not my first language so I apologize for any typos, I’m still learning.

You were happy. On this day, while you were baking a cake, all you could think about was this.

You three were happy.

It was a sunny morning, all the windows of the apartment were open and its long curtains danced in the wind, creating vortices of fabrics that danced in the living room as if they were guests who had snuck into your home. Sometimes you looked up from the cake batter you were preparing to watch their dance, surprising yourself so enchanted that several times you’d even forgotten that you were baking a cake, that the oven, now hot, was waiting for you to bake it and that there was a physical world beyond the magical one you could see in the dance of these curtains.

There was just something in these curtains that you couldn’t explain. It wasn’t just curtains being moved by the wind, you saw something more poetic in that dance. You saw the beauty of life flowing before your eyes, you saw the freedom that could be found in the simple act of being led by someone, by something, like these curtains that were guided by the sunny air of a spring day.

Spring rarely visited this city. The days were often dark, the sun didn’t explode in all its light but it was always faded and covered by a blurry patina, the sky was continuously dyed gray and full of clouds even during the summer.

But the rare times when the sun took space between the clouds and its light exploded, it did so in such a way that no one could ignore its presence, it did in all its luminous power. The sunny spring days in Gotham were rare, but when they arose, they were breathtaking. Sometimes you thought that during these long dark periods the sun preserved its energies to use them all at once in one single day by coloring everything yellow. It wanted to be heard, it wanted to tell you that the sun existed and that it wasn’t gone.

These curtains dancing in the air showed all the beauty hidden in the world that not everyone could see, an entity hidden in everything around you, the natural reminder of the fact that in life not everything is lost and there is always hope for forgiveness.

These curtains were telling you that life was in all things animated and inanimate, it hid on the surface and you had to know how to see it. You saw the beauty of life looking at your freshly washed white silk curtains which smelled clean, dragged by the scented spring air which flooded the apartment with an electric floral smell, and if you had closed your eyes you could have seen a garden full of multicoloured flowers right inside your eyelids.

Joker was sitting on the table next to one of the living room windows and the wind coming in through the window made his strands of green hair dance here and there. The dance maded by these green hair moving in such a way reminded you of the same dance of fresh freshly cut grass which performs following the steps of the wind on spring days like this. Occasionally you looked at him and you were aware that his beauty confused you and distracted you much more than the curtains, no matter how beautiful they might be. Joker was your best distraction. He was looking at his book of jokes, the cigarette he was smoking and the pen took turns in his hand following a precise rhythm, he had a frustrated expression on his face which had appeared after the umpteenth time he had cancelled the punchline of a joke.

“Hard work day, love?” You asked as you watched the curtains dancing behind him, noticing his forehead creased and frowny eyebrows. Joker kept his gaze fixed on the book twirling a strand of hair around the fingers of his hand with which he wasn’t writing and playing with it thoughtfully. “I just can’t finish this joke, it’s harder than I thought.” You nodded by acknowledging the weariness in his face, smiling at yourself for the commitment he still put into his vocation despite everything had happened to him. You’d always admired how much perseverance, how much precision he put on his jokes. Joker was a meticulous man, and you were sorry that no one could see how dedicated he was to all the things he loved. In his jokes, in his job, in his family.

You and your little girl were his first priority. His breath and his whole existence were completely given to the two most important people in his life, you two, and every day he showed it to you with his permanent presence. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Joker looked up to you and met you. Your messy hair, your apron and flour stained face, your understanding look. He could read in your eyes the serenity of this moment and despite he was frustrated by the joke he couldn’t unravel he felt the same serenity as you did on this sunny morning, while the vanilla smell of the cake and the roaring laughter of your little girl from the bedroom filled the apartment. “Would you help me?”

A giggle slipped out of your lips as you wiped your hands on your apron. “Of course I would, you silly.” Joker smiled and put the pen on the table to hold the book with both hands while reciting the joke, but before he could even finish the sentence you were both interrupted by your little girl who had swooped into the living room trotting joyfully. “Who’s ready for cake?” she mumbled with a high-pitched voice and hopping for the too much enthusiasm which wouldn’t let her stand still, not even for a second.

“We’re all ready, aren’t we, mummy?“ he teased you by looking at you with a playful expression and his face wrapped in a smirk. You answered by turning to your little girl ignoring his playful look, but smiling at yourself and making sure Joker would have noticed it. “Of course we’re honey, but the cake isn’t ready yet.” Your little girl frowned for a few minutes enough to decide if this answer would suit her or not. She frowned in the same way as Joker did and a smile spontaneously appeared on your face. After a few minutes his thoughtful expression vanished, her forehead stretched out and she returned to have her face lit with happiness. “It’s fine. Wanna keep playing!”

He trotted to Joker, grabbing a flap of his sleeve in her tiny hand and waving it impatiently. “Daddy wanna play with me?” Joker smiled, stroked her back gently and before he could answer you turned to her. “Maybe later honey, dad is busy right now. I can play with you after I bake the cake in a few minutes.” Your little girl pouted and moved her head frenetically from both sides. “No, I want daddy!” She gave Joker a sulky, sad look waiting for an answer from him, hoping that he wouldn’t say the same thing by supporting your words and that he didn’t really have to work. Joker took one of the strands of her long brown hair held in two pigtails on both sides of her head and twisted it around the index finger, just as he was doing a little earlier with his own green hair in an enchanted expression.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” He said looking at you with a sympathetic gaze, then he turned to your little girl, an accomplice smile had framed his face as soon as their eyes met. “I would love to play with you, sweetie pie.” He laid the book on the table that he still held in his other hand while your little girl was jumping for happiness around him. “Yay! Yayy! I play with dad!” Shortly after she held his hand, it was so small compared to Joker’s big, strong one that it was completely hidden by his palm when he put his hand around her soft, plump one.

No matter how busy he was, he would never deny her to play together.

She suddenly became impatient to play with him and wanted to go straight to the bedroom where were kept all her toys. “Come on, let’s go!” With her short arm she pulled Joker’s one holding it by her hand and he let himself be dragged without resistance, but before they could disappear from your sight Joker looked at you amused shrugging, you smiled eloquently moving your head from side to side. “Look at these two…” You murmured to yourself smiling as you went back to handling the cake, knowing perfectly well that you could never sneak into them.

Joker had a special connection with your little girl that you never could build with her. She loved you both equally, but your little thing had a special bond with Joker and it was impossible not notice how much she doted on him. There was something when they were holding hands, when they were looking at each other and talking to each other that was impossible to explain in words. An accomplice born by itself without either of them went to look for it or tried to build, it existed by itself as an entity to which neither of them had ever managed to resist. You never had such a bond with her and you didn’t even try to have it, because the smile she had every time she stood beside him, which reminded so much his, and the loving look Joker had every time he looked at her, filled your heart with happiness and you were just grateful to be able to witness in the front row this particular bond that only the two of them had.

She was still dragging Joker to the bedroom where all his toys were kept in a large bench, a playful smile dressed Joker’s face while your little girl was more and more impatient and happy to play with him and only with a lot of self-control managed to stop jumping.

She stopped at the corner of the room, right next to the makeup dressing table that once belonged to Penny, where there was a small white metal children’s table set with a pink tablecloth hand embroidered by yourself some time ago and surrounded by four chairs.

“Would you like some tea daddy?” She looked at the tiny table on which a tea service was laid, then looked at Joker, another time at the small table and shortly afterwards looked once again at Joker with a hopeful expression and crossed her fingers in front of her face hoping that he would say yes, sure that he couldn’t notice her fingers crossed; Joker let a laugh slip from his lips at the sight of such naivety. “Of course I’d like to, sweetie pie!” A toothless smile lay on her lips and pointed out the empty chairs. “Where would you like to sit?”

Her attitude had completely changed; she had straightened her back, raised her chin upwards, the movements were more accurate and quiet; even the tone of her voice was no longer ringing as it had been until now but was calm and contained, while she was pretending to be a waitress who had to serve an important client who deserved only the best of the best; she had to fulfill his every wish, spoil him and treat him well. “Why don’t you choose for me? Where would you like me to sit?” She moved her head from both sides, moving her ponytails back and forth, making them bang on her squishy cheeks. “No, dad! The rule is you’re the guest, you have to choose!”

She laugh teasing him because he didn’t know the rules of the game and Joker smiled as he staring the chairs for a few seconds simulating an undecided expression. On a chair there was the green teddy bear gotten during one evening of the last summer, when you had gone to the amusement park. Joker had won at a points game and let her decide which teddy bear to take, she had chosen this teddy bear only because it had the same green color as her dad’s hair; right in the front chair was sitting the doll you gave her to cheer her up when months ago she had a flu which lasted more than a week and just didn’t want to leave and the other two chairs were empty. “I think I’m gonna sit next to Clowny”.

“Clowny! I was hoping you’d sit there because he’s green like you.” Joker giggled knowing and sat down right in the chair closest to the teddy bear; the chairs were for children and very small, and although Joker was a very skinny man he had to bend slightly to be comfortable. Your little girl giggled when she saw him sitting in this funny way, sat down in the last empty chair, took two cups from the tea service and put them in front of both; immediately afterwards she took the teapot and pretended to pour invisible tea into both cups with the same devotion and commitment as Joker did every time he devoted himself to his jokes. She put the tip of his tongue out of his mouth enough to lick his upper lip, a gesture she often made when she was getting involved in something that required her full attention, she had inherited it from you. As he watched her committed to pouring their tea, her tongue coming out as you did and frowning as Joker did, he smiled, seeing you both within her.

The love he felt for this little thing was the strongest feeling he had and would have felt in his whole life. She was literally the real proof that he had truly found the love and happiness he had longed for his whole life, that it had not been a daydream to meet you, that the nights you had made love, with your bodies lighting each other as if one were reflecting the light of the other, just like the sun does with the moon, really had existed, just as had existed the walks while you were holding hands, the first kisses you gave him by taking him by surprise and making him blush, every time you looked for his touch and didn’t think it was possible, and just like every single moment he lived with you which he held in his heart since he met you.

Every happy memory of him involved you, and this was a life for which he believed in the past not to be worthy of living, a life in which he was destined not to be loved. It was hard for him to accept your presence in his life during the first few months of your relationship because he was afraid that you might vanish at any moment. Let alone if he ever thought that in his life he would love another person as much as he loved you, and that you would both love him in the same deep, visceral, boundless way.

When your little girl poured tea into both of their cups she put the teapot gently in its place so as not to spoil it. She treated it with care as a precious gift, and indeed it was so. You couldn’t afford this tea service, but despite that, Joker was determined to give it to her. He saw it in a storefront across the street a few months before and it made him think of her; it was composed of four cups, each with its own saucer and teaspoon, a teapot and a sugar bowl. The tea service was completely white and covered with small blue flowers of various sizes, just the ones she liked in her favorite blue color. All the teaspoons have blue coloured extremities, on the teapot and the sugar bowl were represented two flowers of larger dimensions than the small flowers on the cups, on the saucers and on the edges there were blue and golden stripes running along the circumference of them.

He’d done everything he could to give it to her at Christmas, he’d saved up money for months and months making a lot of sacrifices, he had quitten smoking to save cigarette money and still every day he made small additional renunciations because he wanted to save as much money as possible and give her the gift he wished to be able to give her so much. The jump for joy she had made after unwrapping the gift were priceless and Joker was so happy to see her happy that you would have sworn that night you had seen his eyes wet with tears which he had held within him with all his strength; tears of joy and love.

“Daddy, you drink tea with sugar.” She asked though it was more a observation than a question, since remembering very well that he liked the sweetened tea she had already grabbed the teaspoon with her little tiny hand. “That’s true little thing, I like sweet tea and I’d like to some sugar.” Joker sat composed and let himself be served, your little girl smiled satisfied and took the sugar bowl of the same tea service, “how much?” She looked him in the eyes curious and impatient of an answer, biting her lip nervously, as if even putting sugar in his tea was an action to be performed perfectly, Joker didn’t let her wait any longer.

“Two teaspoons, thank you!” She glowed and proudly pretended to put two teaspoons of sugar in the cup, immediately after she put the same amount of sugar in her own and sitting more comfortably on the chair she took the cup with her left hand and raised her little finger like a upper-class woman, Joker imitated her and both drank a sip of tea looking into each other’s eyes. Your little girl had bright eyes of a heated happiness, the same green color of Joker’s eyes had extended in hers and Joker, looking into her eyes so much like his, could see himself inside her.

She was the most beautiful part of him. Thanks to her Joker was learning to love himself because into her he read all the beautiful things he had taught her, she was the confirmation that inside of him something good had always been and kept being there even after having made himself called Joker. Sometimes the weight his name carried frightened him but this fear instead of blocking him made him love her even more, to take care of her like no one had ever done with him. In the past his fear would have stopped him, but your little girl gave him the courage to turn over a new leaf and move on, look forward to a future that would only be of love and warmth.

She was the most beautiful part of him and she was the only one through whom he could see himself and recognize that he existed within her but also on his own. Your little girl taught him to love himself in the most spontaneous, light and carefree way he’ve ever felt.

“This tea is delicious, my sweetie pie. You are the best cook.” Your little girl made a joyfull jump on the chair, making it move slightly. “What about mummy?” A toothless smile framed her face as Joker leaned slightly forward. “Mummy doesn’t cook as well as you, but don’t tell her.” He whispered to her and your little girl curled her nose in a knowing and happy smiling face, rose hastily from the chair and approached him putting her little hand on the back of his own. “Our little secret!” She murmured in his ear, imitating him by talking with a whisper of a voice. Joker smiled and popped a kiss on her cheek and while he was wrapping her little body around his right arm she swooped on him and hugged him putting her arms around his neck. Her face buried in his green hair tickled him, Joker squeezed her hard but gently enjoying the hug with his little thing who was the extension of his soul and who at this time smelled of raspberries and talcum powder.

“Daddy?” She babbled with her face still buried in his hair, feeling safe between the arms and the scent of her daddy, tightening his neck with such energy that she let him believe she would hardly melt from this embrace if not for a valid reason. “Yes, sweetie pie?” She moved away from him slightly enough to look him in the eye, but her body was still in the Joker’s arms.

“I love you very much dad” she caressed softly his green strands which rabbed his cheeks, “and also your green hair”. Joker had a watery look because, once again, the evidence of love your little girl gave him every day allowed him to see himself in a different light. A warmer and brighter light.

She loved him so much and therefore everything was not lost, there was still hope for him and he had not lived for nothing, for the very reason that he had managed to love and to be loved in his life, and the best part of him would have kept to exist through her memories and, perhaps, people would have forgiven him. Despite the emotional and grateful expression he tried to muffle, he giggled. Not a single day had passed in which your little girl did not tell him that she loved his green hair, actually several times she also asked you both the permission to dyed her own because “I want to be like dad”.

“I love you too. Very, very much.” Joker approached his face to give her an eskimo kiss and she chuckled. “You’re tickling me!” Then they giggled together and shortly after her face suddenly became clouded while a thought was taking place on her mind without warning. “Dad! We have no cookies for tea.” A worried expression replaced the funny one of just before, she had worked so hard to give him everything that she had forgotten one of the most essential things, tea cookies. Joker rubbed her back tightly with the hand with which he was still holding her to calm her down. “It’s okay, little thin-” she interrupted him, talking shortly after.

“It’s not okay, I want to get it right.” Joker comforted her further, smiling at himself in recognizing his own words in hers, to make her understand that everything was perfect as it was; shortly after the worry disappeared from her face so suddenly that Joker wondered if there had ever been. She smiled showing all his teeth in a toothless smile and jumped proudly. “I got an idea!” She ran out of the room full of adrenaline with the surprised look of Joker staring at her and shortly afterwards returned with a couple of candies in her hands and approaching Joker put them in his.

“We can eat these instead of cookies” she said, proud of the brilliant idea that had came to her. “Perfect, I love candies.” Joker unwrapped one candy for her and laid it in front of her face. “Open your mouth!” Your little girl waved her hands joyfully and opening her mouth grabbed the candy with her teeth, shortly after he unwrapped the other one and ate it too. As she chewed, she approached her little index finger on his face and traced the colored lines of make-up Joker had painted on his face the day before and which, somehow, still were visible even if a little bit faded and smudged. She began to speak with her mouth full, her look was clever and special understanding while she was tracing also the blue triangles.

“Can you paint me like that, later?” An amused smirk landed on Joker’s lips, he should have imagined this question from the way she had weighed her look on his make up while she was tracing it with her tiny index finger. Your little girl liked to paint and most of all loved it when Joker painted her face in his own way, and every time she asked him in such a pleading tone that it was impossible to say no, even for Joker. Actually, even though Joker had never said it out loud, every time they painted Joker’s make-up to one another, he probably had more fun than her.

“Of course, but first we have to eat and do our homework, little thing.” She nodded in an understanding expression as a good compromise and hugged him again tightly, it was her way of thanking him when she couldn’t do it with words. Then she surprised him laying her hand on his head and caressing his green hair in a comforting way, Joker smiled at the simplicity of this gesture. Your little girl reassured him all the time without even knowing it, she just did it because she felt it, she felt him. 

You came into the room shortly after, they were still wrapped in this hug and a smile spontaneously created itself on your face; you laid your shoulder on the door and stared at them for a few seconds before interrupting their game and, above all, their hug. “Hey you two, cake is ready”, you said a few minutes later, your little girl pulled away from the hug and moved her arm energetically towards you. “Mummy, come here! Hug! I wanna a big hug!” She didn’t have to tell you twice because you approached them literally a second later with your arms already opened.

All three of you were hugging, interconnected so strongly, tightly, that it would have been impossible to untie you three. The cake had just been baked and had flooded all the rooms with its aroma, the sun was still radiating his light into the apartment. Joker was wrapped in your warmth and buried between your bodies, which were equally buried in the same way, a tear had fallen down his face like a secret he could no longer hide, drawing a blue painted tear along his left cheek.

He had never thought that after all the hatred and carelessness he had felt on his skin, after all the evil and sins he had committed, he could live an ethereal thing like having a family, an apartment to share with two souls who completed himself and full of love, an apartment which at that time smelled of cake, vanilla and… home.

#arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck #arthur x y/n #arthur fleck x you #arthur fleck imagine #joker #joker x reader #joker x you #joker x y/n #joker 2019 #joaquin pheonix joker #joaquin phoenix x reader #joaquin phoenix #joaquin phoenix x y/n #joaquin phoenix x you #joaquin phoenix joker #jokerownsmysoul fic #jokerownsmysoul #joker fan fiction #joker fic

[yyxgin]

as quick as love alarm was progressing compared to other dramas i’ve seen (usually wait ten eps for the first kiss and that’s it) it still seemed,, idk important for the story? n e way.

meteor garden is insanely messy like in the final episode daoming si just mentions everything dong shancai did that makes her so amazing and i honestly forgot they even did some of their things 😳 at one point they went to london and filmed in china town and i was just like ‘oh. i know that place’ and didn’t clock after that 😭

I GOT PEN ON THE BACK OF IT IM SO MAD AT MYSELF ✋✋✋✋✋ but come find me anyway lmao i got a changbin & minho film strip 🤪 can’t have anything nice around here and i learned my lesson the hard way.

i went through a phase when whenever i watched english tv i was like ‘why does this make sense without subs..’ and would be like squinting at the screen until it occurred to me that it was in english.

oh bruh i remember making a bank account the second summer bc my employer was like why tf do you not have a bank account ,, yeesh people had been paying by card for meals and stuff and not cash like the year before. so i made one and then she paid me in cash bc people started paying w cash 😐😑😐😑 i waitress so even though i get anxious about other things, i’m comfortable about waitressing so i am super nice to everyone. i am the designated person who orders for everyone (as long as you point at what you want in case i can’t remember everything i will say it). i know how important it is to be articulated to your server bc if they f up you get mad and they get mad bc ur mad and the chef gets mad bc the server f-ed up and the chef has to cook again and it’s a never ending circle of wishing you’d just gone somewhere else and i hate that. i also get mad at my fam when we go out bc the last time we went out (literally like two years ago now bc covid) there was a guy serving at this place we’re fairly frequent at and i was like maybe he’s training don’t be so mad at him for forgetting things just gently remind him! don’t cuss him out behind his back! there’s so much pressure about not pissing off your colleagues bc there’s a groove they’ve got and you’re just there not wanting to ruin it whilst also meeting customers needs!!

ive been waiting to pass my drivers test for over a year now bc covid has pushed it back and back and back again 😐 i finally get my next test date and i have to ask a different instructor for their car bc my instructor is on annual leave when my test is scheduled. i’m holding it together so i can ask an instructor, buy a car and yeet. the bus is okay but i need my own space sometimes.

i am good w my money im the jungkook of the working class. if there are pots and pans on the go i will take them. free food? count me in. i do have that broke b*tch mindset. although i don’t buy $300 white tshirts i will spend $200 on a day out 😃 and sis,, buy whichever one you like bc of the concept!! it’s always fun seeing the posters (personally i don’t put them up bc how am i gonna have sir johnny suh STARING at me while i get changed,, no THANK YOU) i’ll cry if i ever pull a yuta card bc he looks ✨spicy✨ in all of them.

i think i get what you’re saying about gg’s! boy groups have a wider range. eg, haechan hits those high notes and jeno/mark rap/sing quite low but girl groups can’t. unfortunately i feel like they rely on visuals heavier bc they don’t have the same range bg’s do. itzy are good!! i personally haven’t listen to a lot/watched a lot of their mv’s. i’m more into red velvet for their mv’s. im terrible at watching content so i am slowly working through bts’ content, monsta x’s content and ocassionally nct’s content. im gonna work on mamamoo next 🤞fake fans unite 😔✊✨

it’s so easy to feel invisible here. don’t worry. i’m here to brighten your day! much like a sunflower ~ 🌻

I cant really speak about the importance of the kiss in love alarm since i didnt watch more than the first ep, but i will trust you if you really say so ?? 😳 I WANNA WATCH METEOR GARDEN JUST FOR THE DRAMA DHSNSK

dude dont fucking test me i WILL find your address and i WILL visit you in your sleep and steal all your kpop stuff. MINHO FILM STRIP ??????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

i still watch english things w eng subtitles sometimes bc my first language isn't english so just in case i dont hear something i can always read it you know djsksk

this is my first job so i didnt have to have bank account before but now that i have it i feel very adult😩✋i am so old. i dont like it.

oh no i hate people that arent polite to waitresses like they are just doing their job and its so hard and stressful and i dont want to make their life harder so im just really anxious abt everything in my life ever.

i'm rooting for you on your driving test !! lets hope you make it after such a long time <3

JUNGKOOK OF THE WORKING CLASS NO- thats actually me. also free samples. give me all of them. also i think its completely justified to spend so much on a night out since its for the memories !! #yolo am i right

I AM SO TEMPTED TO ORDER THE ALBUM NOW 😭💔😭 i actually have my posters on my closet and i change inside the actual closet at all times bc me and my brother share a room, so no one's looking at me thankfully haha. well, i do have bts pics on the warderobe next to my bed as well so they watch me sleep every night but we dont talk about that. YUTA CARD i would cry. he for sure does look spicy half the time of his life.

i dont know that many rv songs (the audacity, i know) but seulgi... ah. i watched the sm new years concert and when she appeared i couldnt keep my eyes off her. i should really listen to more of their songs so if u have any recs i am all ears

thank you for brightening up my day sunflower ily mwah😔❤

#lowkey wanted to apologise for replying late again but like that would be annoying #💌ask #🌻 anon

[peaches-writes]

rating my own fics on a whim bc 500 followers &

i enrolled in college as a writing major but i rlly dont wanna do the actual writing rn dont b like me

oh also link to my m.list since im too lazy to link them one by one in this post 👉 m.list

fist fight w me on inbox if yall want im always down to fist fight 💖

channie fics

syncopated - 3/10 messy af alludes too much on my pre-pandemic love life therefore embarrassing 

history - 7/10 i think im funny but yall didnt think so when i posted this also i havent listened to any nostalgic music in a while

sweet disposition - 8/10 everyone likes this so uh sure also i rlly do love the song

wedding doves - 9/10 i pretend to not like this one but in reality im trash for fluff that attracts all the ants & mice in the house

before one a.m. - 10/10 i thot it was trash while writing it then yall gave my libra sun ass an ego boost still wont make a pt. 2 for this one tho 

minho fics

eighteen - 7/10 personal comfort fic wouldve been funny if it was longer tho

d-day - 10/10 not to be a libra but i peaked here this is an underrated gem idily the movie it’s based on also still slaps for me lol 

genuinely - 4/10 couldve done better w this one but im too lazy to re-write duh i mean yall im making this long ass post instead of acads or my wips yall see how lazy i am

unbothered - 8/10 only flaw is that it was supposed to be a full fic but then i didnt rlly know where it would go if it was 

binnie fics

pierced - 8/10 i should donate this to a spicy account or summ if yall into that lmao waht lskfjdslk i meant tattoo artist changbin rights

giddy - 7/10 i iwas young i didnt know any better jk 

polished - 10/10 yes i would still like to paint changbin’s nails hmu binnie i paint nails well apparently 

hyunnie fics

hwang’s guide to gardening - 6/10 cheesy af jesus christ wtf was i doin in the summer 

drift away - 5/10 syncopated, drift away, & eighteen r all based on similar life experiences but i laugh at this one all the time more than the other two

space buns - 10/10 wHY DOES NO ONE BACK ME UP ON THE HYUNJIN SPACE BUNS AGENDA IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN

11:08 PM - 4/10 this rlly did happen but i cant show yall the pics so the fic didnt turn out well lol

shared spaces - 5/10 ur welcome fellow short ppl 

11:57 PM - 6/10 if this was longer what wouldve happened idk yalls 

seven hundred and one - 7/10 (thats not a pun) wtf happened w this one i rlly shouldve cut the last two parts & adjusted the timestamps but i got lazy lolololol 

sungie fics

meeting points - 10/10 only bc i miss the outside world this was a mess

soft lens - 5/10 i dont think im funny anymore

okay without you - 8/10 guitar player jisung deserves everything in this world but this is so cheesy

how to appease ur asian aunties - 6/10 im too lazy to write the next part these days lol 

lixie fics

in other futures - 7/10 should b longer tbh but whatever i think i wanna watch charlotte the anime when im not stressed out w school anymore lol 

8:02 AM - 10/10 my humor peaked here but yall arent ready for that conversation

brownies & blankets - 10/10 bc i rlly did ended up spending money from feeling this fic too much 

roll call - 10/10 its my comfort fic 

mongmong fics 

sunshower - 8/10 will re-write this in the future idk i jUST FEEL LIKE WE NEED A REDEMPTION ARC 

3:06 PM - 10/10 i miss being in love 

touch - 7/10 should be a series but im not smart enough for writing mystery fics trust me on this one ive alr written a detective movie in high school i rlly cant do it well 

innie fics

relax im nervous too - 9/10 i miss the place this is based on like i rlly miss goinG OUT LOL

10:28 AM - 7/10 should b a longer fic boo vivi 

according to flora - 8/10 should also be a longer fic i got lazy i cant think of any more flowers boo sldkfjsdklfj

#fic rate #stray kids #skz #reblog #yes this goes on reblog #the fic review no one asked for #im so #i still need to finish my 3 papers #n this pub #n make a portfolio for a club #then we have counseling next week #im going w a friend but like #im so anxious on 1 on 1's w teachers #lmao #but yall didnt need to read abt that #anw #go wild on my inbox if yall want #this is just for fun tbh

[zuucc]

SWEDISH SUMMER NIGHTS: W. Nylander I FLUFFY SMUT

(orginally posted by @andersens and @astound ) 

Words: 11k

Summary: It is when you’re drunk on a hammock, on a summer night in Sweden that your best friend decides that it was time to admit his feelings for you, and you decide to let go of the sober and reasonable voice in your head.

Warnings: cursing and blasphemy?? alcohol, lowkey smut outside and also just straight up sex

Author’s note: It seems friends to lovers and William Nylander is the only thing I write now. Also, story is set in like August 2019. Hope you like this story and that it gives you warm and sweaty summery vibes. And Willy-feels. Feedback/constructive criticism is as always greatly appreciated.

(Also sorry about the ugly ass watermark.. I had put the separate gif/pic into a website to make a collage because tumblr wouldn’t let me put them next to each other) 

Masterlist is linked in bio.

~

“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you, too,” you whispered as well. You’d felt his ragged breath under your cheek for a while now, but you’d thought it was because of the three or four glasses of beer too many. But Willy stopped breathing for a few seconds, before he spoke again.

“No, I mean, I love you,” he said, swallowing hard before speaking again. “I love you in ways that I shouldn’t.” He was breathing again, but he was breathing like he’d run up the stairs too fast, not like he was drunk on a hammock, on a summer night in Sweden - with his just as drunk best friend in his arms.

You were quiet for a while, not knowing what to say, or how to say whatever it was that you wanted to say. And there was also the annoying, reasonable, not-so-drunk voice in the back of your head that told you that this wasn’t the right time. Not the right situation - drunk on a hammock, on a summer night in Sweden.

You tried to gracefully turn around in the hammock, to lay with half your chest pressed against his - to look at him. But it wasn’t graceful, not at all, and your face was so close to his that you could feel his breath on your chin. “There’s this very strict and reasonable voice in my head that says that we shouldn’t have this conversation while drunk,” you say, smiling giddily, but the more you look at him - his lips only inches from yours - the less prominent the voice gets and the less the world spins around you. William nods understandingly. “But yeah, I do too. love you in ways that I shouldn’t, and I think I have for a while now,” you spoke, not bothering with the voice in your head.

William’s lips turned into a smile, just as giddy as yours. And you lay there, underneath the Swedish night sky, underneath the moon and the stars, and you just smile at each other like drunk teenagers, as the world spins around you in the yellow striped hammock that hung between two trees in William’s parents’ backyard.

The hand that he’d had on your back since you’d made a show of turning around in the hammock - in his arms - moved up to your neck, his fingers lightly tangling in your hair. He was staring up at you, his eyes brighter than ever in the moon light.

“I know I shouldn’t kiss you right now, but I really want to,” he giggles. The thought of him kissing you filled your stomach with big butterflies like the beautiful orange ones you’d seen sitting on flowers in that same backyard just that morning. If you stayed out for another hour or two, you were sure you’d see some again. But you knew that he shouldn’t kiss you right now, not now, not while drunk in the middle of the night. You knew, but you wanted him to kiss you anyway.

“I think you should,” you heard yourself say, giggling as well. William laughed. “You know, I can see the wheels turning in your head. How the beer fights that faint, reasonable voice in your head”. You laughed as well, loving how incredibly well he knew you. He knew how your brain worked.

“We should talk about this tomorrow, when we’re not drunk anymore, just very hungover,” he said, not helping at all with how he’d placed his other hand on your cheek - like you imagined he would’ve if he was to kiss you. “What if you don’t remember? And then I’ll have to go on with my life suppressing my feelings for you, not knowing if what you said that drunken night underneath the Swedish sky was true,” you said, dramatically. “Then I won’t remember kissing you either,” he made a fair point, winking at you. “But I will remember, I promise,” he smiled sweetly. “Me too,” you smiled back.

You laid there for a while longer, your head placed on his chest again. His breath was slower now, balanced and soothing - sobering. You laid there till the world stopped spinning and the sky started to brighten again. As the first birds of the morning started singing, you both decided that it might be time to go to bed.

William helped you get out of the hammock. You set both your bare feet in the grass and turned around to help him as well, giving him a hand. He sat both his feet in the grass as well, standing up right in front of you. You looked up at him, wishing it was the next morning already. It was, technically, but you both needed to sleep of some beer first. You wished that you could just throw your arms around his neck and kiss him, and you almost did, but you stopped at throwing your arms around his neck. His hands found your hips and for a moment you were sure that he was actually going to kiss you. But he didn’t.

He held your hand as you walked back inside, upstairs to his room and the guest room where you’d been staying the past week. You wished you could just stay in his room, in his bed and in his arms. But you knew you shouldn’t. He followed you into your room though, sitting down on the bed as he let you get ready for bed. You brushed your teeth and removed what was left of the light makeup you’d applied almost 24 hours ago.

When you emerged from the en-suite, he was still sitting there, his eyes turning to you as you walked over to him. He sat wide-legged, like he always did, and you didn’t resist the urge to sit down in his lap - like you had so many times before. You slung your arms around his neck again, and his hand went to support your back. His other hand was placed in your bare thigh, and his face was close to yours again, so close that it took extreme self-control to not kiss him right then and there.

“I want to sleep next to you,” you whispered, picking at the collar of his plain white tee. You’d shared a bed so many times before, you’d even slept with his arms around you, but that was when it felt platonic. But it wouldn’t feel platonic tonight. You hoped it would never feel platonic again.

“You know that we shouldn’t,” he spoke, his hand on your thigh tightening its grip. “I know,” you whispered again. You looked up to see him staring right back at you, right at your lips. And you didn’t want to resist more of your urges - you were sure you could find some more self-control somewhere, but you didn’t want to. So, you kissed him, despite everything. Despite the beer, despite the voice in your head begging you not to. Despite your mutual agreement that you shouldn’t.

And William kissed you back, like you’ve never been kissed before - firm and soft at the same time, hard but with so much love. And when his lips swiped over your lip, you let him in, and you pulled each other closer - your hand moving from his chest to the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in thick locks of blonde hair.

And you wished you could stay like that all night long, but you knew you shouldn’t continue, and so did Willy. So, when he moved his hand underneath your thighs instead, he lifted you up and carried you to the side of the bed. He laid you down, but he pulled the covers over you instead of crawling over you and laying down, like you wished he would but knew he shouldn’t.

But he kept kissing you, for a little bit longer. Not ready to let go of your lips just yet. And you knew that if you wanted to, you could pull him down on top of you - you could, but you didn’t. You let the sober voice take over your thoughts again, and you pulled back a little bit, both of you breathing heavily. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I could have fallen asleep without knowing what it feels like to kiss you,” you whispered, still so close to him that you could feel his breath on your lips.

“Don’t apologize, if you hadn’t, I would’ve,” he assured you. His hand went from holding yours to cupping your cheek, kissing you lightly. “I promise I’ll kiss you as much as you want in the morning,” he smiled. And then came the giggle, the giggle that reminded you that you were both still a little bit drunk. You kissed one more time, or two, before you whispered your good nights and he carefully exited the guest room.

~

“There’s lunch in the garden,” you heard William’s mother’s voice, along with a light knock on the door. She knew you’d been out late, that’s why she hadn’t bothered telling you about breakfast. “I’ll be right down,” you tried to sound awake, but your voice sounded more like a whisper. You quickly washed your face and brushed your hair, and then threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, before making your way out. 

In the hallway you met an equally tired Willy, in grey sweat shorts and nothing else. You watched him as he drew his hand through his messy hair, and everything from last night came back to you in a big wave. You’d woken up by Camilla’s knocking and you’d scrambled out of bed to get ready, not having had the time to think about what happened only hours before. 

William stopped to look at you, searching your eyes to see if you remembered what he did - if you remembered laying in the hammock saying I love you’s as the world spun around you and kissing when you knew you shouldn’t. Barely letting go, when you knew it was the right thing to do. 

You smiled, and he smiled back, and he laid an arm around you, pulling you into him as you walked down the stairs. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before you walked through the wide-open French doors and out into the backyard where William’s entire family was sat, Alex already stuffing his face with eggs and bread. Daniella had saved you a seat, and you sat down next to her, William on the other side of the table. 

While you had slept off last night’s alcohol, the girls had already been swimming, while Alex had gone for a run with his father. He made a point out of how Willy usually went running with him in the mornings, but someone had been giggling in a certain hammock all night instead of getting a good night’s sleep. Your cheeks felt hot and you wanted to sink down in your chair, but you decided to lean over Daniella and smack him on his sunburned chest instead, making him shut up. 

You wondered if he’d heard what you’d been giggling about. “What was so funny in the middle of the night?” Camilla asked, her eyes moving between you and her eldest son. You looked to William hoping he would say something before your entire face would turn into the color of a lobster. 

“Too much beer, mom, everything was funny,” he said, smiling your way. You relaxed but couldn’t keep from noticing the smirk that adorned the face of a certain brother two seats to your right.

~

Lunch was consumed and dishes were done, before everyone left to do whatever they were supposed to do. The girls had tennis practice and Camilla left with them, while Alex and Michael went to the rink. William was supposed to go with them but insisted on taking the day off, which he had already done a few too many times since you came to visit. 

You were standing in the guest room, taking off the towel that you’d wrapped around your head after taking a shower, when you noticed William standing in the doorway. Still shirtless, but with another pair of shorts and wet hair, as well. You almost wished he would put on a shirt, almost. 

“Hey,” you breathed, quickly meeting his stare before continuing with drying your hair. “Hey,” he repeated back to you, pushing off the doorway and moving closer to you. He sat down on the edge of the bed, just like he’d done the night before. “We should talk - about last night,” he said, his voice sounding so serious it made you nervous. You stood up straight, turning to look at him. You couldn’t read his expression and panic washed over you. “Yeah,” you swallowed, your voice low and airy as the panic and nervousness balled up into a ball the size of your fist in your throat. He patted the bed next to him, sending you a small smile when your eyes met. The silence was deafening at first, both of you waiting for the other person to start. Eventually, William began talking. “So, everything I said last night,” he started, drawing in a deep breath, but your insecurities interrupted him before he could continue. “You didn’t mean,” you finished his sentence for him. Better to rip the band aid off and avoid rejection, right? You got up from the bed and walked over to the window, looking out. “What? No,” William protested, getting up and following you before he could even think. You turn to him, where he now stood next to you. You couldn’t form words fast enough to stop what came next. “You didn’t mean it?” he said. Judging by the expression on his face and the vulnerability in his voice, the words pained him to say. Before you could say what was really on your mind, your body took over. You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him down to your own height and into a tight hug. “No, no, no, I meant it, I meant it all,” you whispered, and his arms closed around your waist in an embrace just as tight as yours. “Good, good,” he whispered back, pulling you into him. He pressed a kiss to your temple, keeping his lips there for a couple of seconds before pulling away - before you pulled farther back, pressing your lips to his, just like you had last night. “You scared me,” he whispered softly as he pulled back, leaving your lips with a tingling feeling. You chuckled, leaning forward, resting your forehead against his chest. “I’m sorry, you sounded so serious and dreadful when you started talking that my insecurities took completely over,” you told him, chuckling - embarrassed that you’d let your insecurities steer you. I was just nervous,” he told you, chuckling as well. You reached back up and placed your arms around his neck, your hands finding their place in thick blonde hair. You nuzzled your face into his neck, and he leaned down doing the same to you, his arms tightening around you, pulling you closer. “I want to take you somewhere,” he said, eventually. His voice still soft. “Where?” you hummed, pressing a few light kisses to his neck. “Just somewhere I used to go in the summer when I was younger,” he answered your question, pulling back and pressing a quick kiss to your lips, a kiss that felt so normal and domestic for something so new, it made heat rush to your cheeks. “Okay, what do I wear to this place?” you asked, looking down at the plain white t-shirt and worn out, denim shorts you’d thrown on when you woke to Camilla’s voice and hour or so earlier. “This is perfect, just wear a bathing suit underneath,” he said, placing a finger underneath your chin and tilting it up to meet him in a kiss. One kiss led to another, and then one more. It seemed you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning in for another as soon as one ended, and neither could William. His hand came back to your neck to hold you in place, and he hummed against your lips as he deepened the kiss. You stepped closer to him, moving your arms to circle around his waist, your hands moving over the muscles of his naked back. You opened your mouth slightly, letting him now you wanted more. He mirrored your move, his tongue meeting yours between your lips. One of his hands moved away from your hair, sliding down your back, stopping at the small of your back to push you closer to him - only staying there for a couple of seconds before it slowly fell to your ass, pushing you even closer. You moved your hands back up, your arms circling around his neck as you pushed up on your toes to kiss him harder. Your lips disappeared from yours when he suddenly squatted down, his hands moving to the backs of your thighs, taking you with him as he stood back up. You locked your legs around him while he took a few steps forward, pushing you up to the wall behind you. Your next kiss ended with him pulling away, pressing his forehead to yours - both panting. “Sorry, I got a bit carried away,” he breathed, a smile spreading on his lips. “No need to apologize,” you said, as a smile found its way to your lips as well. A breathy laugh escaped his lips, and his eyes squeezed together as he laughed, making your heart flutter. “You were taking me somewhere?” you asked, finding it smart to lead this somewhere else before you rushed into your need to feel each other’s bodies. “Yeah,” his voice still airy, as he leaned forward, pressing another kiss to your lips, before slowly letting you place your feet back on the floor. “So, let me just change into my bikini and we can go?” you said, still smiling up at him. He nodded, giddy smile on his lips as well. “Sorry,” he mumbled a few seconds later, when he realized that he was standing in your way. He sat back on the bed again, resting his elbows on his knees and putting his face in his hands. You squatted down in front of your suitcase - you’d been there for a week already, and had another week to go, but you still hadn’t gotten around to move your clothes into the empty drawers in the guest room. “Mm, not that one,” you heard William’s voice behind you, as you reached for your striped bikini. You turned your head to look at him with a puzzled look, but with a smile on your lips. His cheeks reddened as your eyes met his. Instead of asking what bikini he so clearly had wish for you to wear, you reached for the dark red one that laid underneath it and looked at him. He tilted his head to the side, apparently still not satisfied. You then reached up to the black one that hung over the top of your suitcase, as it was still a little damp when you’d last taken it off. His smile spread immediately, and he nodded - the blush not only spreading over his face, but his neck as well. “So, you have a favorite bikini of mine, huh?” you teased, grabbing the bikini and getting up to stand in front of him. He looked away, hiding his face in his hands. You poked his shoulder to get his attention, and instead of talking through the embarrassment of basically having bursted out the fact that - out of the five bikinis you’d brought with you on your trip to Sweden, the one that was the most revealing and resembled lingerie the most, was his favorite, he leant forward and circled your legs with his arms, throwing you into the bed - making you shriek. “No need to turn to violence, William,” you joked, swatting at his hands. He finally stopped trying to tickle you, as he rolled on top of you and nuzzled his face in your neck and hair. “It’s just looks really nice, okay? And it would be really cool if you wore that when I am allowed to look,” he said, stretching out his arms till he was looking down at you. It was your turn to blush now. “Have I allowed you to look?” you mocked, turning it back on him, making him roll his eyes. You pushed him to the side, almost off the bed, so that you could climb off. You walked towards the bathroom with the bikini in your hand. “Do not think that I haven’t caught you looking before,” you added, watching as his smile spread and his cheeks reddened again, before you locked the door to the bathroom behind you.

~

You felt like a teenager again. You felt like you were fourteen again, running around with your crush during the summer break. You found yourself getting jealous of William and his siblings who got to grow up in Sweden, spending every summer like this. You sat on the front of Camilla’s bike, which William had borrowed from the garage without asking. It had room for baggage on the back of it, where William had placed a big beach bag - which you also assumed that he’d borrowed from his mother. He had made you sit on the steer of the bike, and pinky swore that he wouldn’t crash. You remembered the cool kids in school would always do this when you were in middle school, how the popular girls would elicit high pitched screams and giggles as they’re popular boy crushes would let them sit on the steers of their bikes, how you’d wish you were cool enough. It took about 10 years, but you were finally cool enough. William had laughed and called you adorable when you told him your tough memories of middle school and not being cool enough to ride with the cool kids. After five minutes or so, you came to a stop. You both jumped off the bike and you followed William down a trail through a light forest. It was stunningly beautiful. A few minutes later you reached the place where William had wanted to take you - and your jealousy of your best friend and his siblings came back. He’d taken you to the lake where he’d spent his summers with his friends. You’d heard stories of this place. William pulled out a picnic blanket from the beach bag and laid it out on the grass by the lake, where you both sat down. There was a group of teenagers jumping from a cliff about 50 yards away from you, and a family or two a couple yards away from those again. Besides them, you were pretty much alone - at least on your side of the lake. “What do you think?” he smiled, looking at you look at the nature in front of you. “The view is gorgeous, Will,” you turned back to him, stunned, “Mm, I think this one is better, though,” he said, showing you his phone. You rolled your eyes at his statement when you saw what was adorning the screen of his iPhone. “I sent it to your mom,” he smiled, proud of himself. You couldn’t help but smile back. While you were caught up with admiring the view of the lake, he’d taken a picture of you with the amazing view in the background. It wasn’t the worst picture you’d seen of yourself either. “What did you write?” you asked, and he smiled. “Just ‘good morning’,” he said, “and a little heart emoji.” You rolled your eyes at him. “What? You know your mom and I are best friends, right? We text at least once a week,” he added, making you laugh. “And you’re not allowed to say anything, you are always plotting against me with my mom or my sisters,” he made a fair point. William had always put sunscreen on your back when you had asked him to. This time he didn’t complain first, though, and while he spent more than enough time rubbing it in, he told you how he’d worked on not seeming to eager when you asked. You’d laughed at him and he’d decided that the best way to stop you from mocking him was to pick you up and throw you in the lake. “I’m sorry, I just think it’s really cute and dorky of you,” you said, clinging to his body as he stood hips deep into the water, just barely holding you over the surface. The water was still a bit cold for your liking. “Dorky?” he exclaimed, once again threatening to throw you in. “I mean, it’s kind of what little boys do when they have a crush, also this, what you’re doing right now, is like that,” you tease - resulting in Willy walking further out into the lake.

“Excuse me, miss, I thought this thing we’ve got going on here, was a two-way street. And it is not like you’ve said anything during these years of friendship, either,” he, once again, made a fair point. “Okay, fine, I’ll stop making fun of you for liking me,” you said, making him laugh. You got used to the water’s temperature, and instead of making more fun of him, you pulled yourself up - your arms still around his neck - pressing your lips to his. You spent the next hours going in and out of the water, playing around like you were kids again, seeing who could swim under water the longest, swimming out to the middle of the lake, jumping from the big rocks - making out in the water, your legs locked around his middle, his arms roaming your body while your lips and tongues slotted together. To say that you were grateful for being alone at that part of the lake, was an understatement.

~

It was still light out, but the sun was no longer visible from your spot by the lake. Your hair was still damp, your bikini hung over the bikes steer to dry. Your damp hair left wet spots on William’s grey sweatshirt that you were wearing, the sweatshirt that he’d brought specifically for you because he knew that you’d get cold in the evening. You had your towel wrapped around your waist as you stupidly hadn’t brought underwear to wear when your bikini got wet. A fleece blanket laid across your laps as a still barebacked William leant forward, poking at the hot dogs he was grilling for you on the disposable grill he’d made Alex bring you.  “Can I ask you something?” he said after you’d sat in silence for a couple of minutes, the hot dogs long gone, and the disposable grill put out. “You can ask me whatever you want, Will,” you said softly, looking up at him from where you were positioned - your head on his chest, his arm around you and moving soothingly up and down your arm. 

“How long have you felt this?” he asked. You found it cute how he didn’t know what to call it, how he just emphasized instead. “How long have I been in love with you, you mean?” you asked, feeling brave - saying the words that you both hadn’t actually said out loud since you were both influenced by alcohol. “Yeah,” he breathed. You could hear that he was smiling when he spoke. You felt it when he pressed his lips to your temple. “I’m not really sure, but I think I’ve always had like a little crush on you,” you started, making him chuckle. You felt the blush spread on your cheeks, even if you weren’t really embarrassed. “I just remember that you leaving for Sweden after you were knocked out of the playoffs in 2017 really sucked. I hadn’t really seen you much prior to that because you were focused on the playoffs, and then you kind of shut me out when you lost, so I barely got to see you before you left for like 5 months. I think that was the first time that it hit me, that maybe I wanted more,” you told him. His other hand intertwined with the one you had placed on his torso. “I think I just pushed that to the back of my mind during the next season, and then you left for Sweden last year and you didn’t come back,” you remembered how you’d counted down the days till he’d be back. But then the contract negotiations just went on and on, and it felt like he’d never come back to you. “I’ve never told you this before, but  - I mean, I told you quite regularly that I missed you - but god damn it, I missed you so fucking much, I would sometimes cry, like if I was having a bad day,” you laughed at yourself, but William pulled you closer. “Aw, baby, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “It’s not your fault,” you said, knowing how hard it had been for him. “I would go to your place and I would steal one of the millions of leafs hoodies that are in your closet and then I would fall asleep in your bed,” you laughed again. “I knew you were there, you know. I saw you on snap map. It hit me that maybe you missed me like I missed you, so I didn’t say anything,” he said, his mouth so close to your temple that you could feel his lips moving against your skin. “One of those nights where I laid in your huge ass bed, in your giant sweatshirt that didn’t even smell like you anymore, crying because I missed you and I’d had a really shit week at Uni, I think I just realized that, you know, ‘this is not normal, this must be what it feels like to be in love with someone’,”   “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his hand moving to the side of your face, making you look at him. “What? That I missed you so much that I would cry myself to sleep in your bed wearing your clothes?” you asked. It was almost painful to think about, and you thanked all the gods you could think of for the fact that this wouldn’t be a problem this year. “That, too. But I mean, that you felt that way,” he clarified. “Fear of rejection, I guess. I did not think that you felt the same way, that’s for sure. I mean, I don’t exactly look like all those Victoria Secret models you follow on Insta. So, I guess, it was just better to push it to the back of my mind than to risk losing you,” you told him, smiling as he cringed when you mentioned the models on Instagram. “Just to set the record straight before we continue this heartfelt conversation, I would much rather see you in anything Victoria Secret than those models on Instagram,” he gesticulated wildly as he said this, making you laugh. “I don’t doubt it, Mr. I prefer the most revealing bikini you own,” you teased, making heat rush to his cheeks again. He leaned in closer, kissing your cheek, before you turned your head to let him kiss your lips. He kissed you for a couple minutes before he pulled back, laying his head back down on the picnic blanket. “Funny how you mentioned the 2017 playoffs, actually,” he started. “I don’t know why I thought it was the right thing to just shut everyone out, to shut you out, because you were the only one I wanted to see. And that’s what it’s been like over the four years that I’ve known you, at least since I started considering you my best friend. I’ve always just wanted to see you whenever we took a though loss, playoffs or not. I wasn’t smart enough to realize it on my own, though,” he smiled at the last part. “I had so many people ask about us, and I said no every time, and then, I think it must’ve been Patty who asked when it was just me and him in the room, and I once again said no, but, you know how it is with him, he’s got this ‘caring dad-thing’ over him that makes you just want to, I don’t know, talk about your feelings? And he asked me if that’s what I wanted, and then I talked to him about it for like five minutes and it was the answer to all my questions,” he laughed. You knew about Patty’s ‘caring dad-thing’, you’d felt it too many times. “What do you mean by that?” you asked. “The fact that I was in love with you was the answer to everything. Why I couldn’t fucking keep a girlfriend for more than a month? She wasn’t you. And I felt so stupid for not understanding it when literally all I wanted was to be with you, it’s too fucking obvious. And then I just spent every day from like September 2017 up until yesterday pretending to not be in love with you in front of everyone but Patty,” he chuckled. “So, here comes the million-dollar question,” you warned, laughing. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, making him smile. “Easy. You are way too good for me,” he answered simply. “What?” you were not expecting that to be his answer. “First of all, you’re like the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen,” he started. “What? And you’re not?” you asked, almost laughing as you rolled around so that you could look at him. “I don’t really think that’s for me to judge,” he said, looking everywhere but in your eyes as his cheeks heated. “It’s not a good excuse for not telling me, Willy, honestly. You’re like... beautiful, cute and ridiculously handsome at the same time. And hot,” you felt your cheeks redden as well. William laughed, one hand coming up to cover his face. “Okay, second of all,” he started back up. “You are also ten out of ten in every other way, as well. I mean, you’re funny. Honestly, no one else can crack me up like you can. And you’re incredibly kind, to everyone. And you’re caring, you always take care of me when I’m hurt, and when I’m feeling down, no matter what it is that caused it. You just fix everything,” he rambles, and your chest flutters with love for him. “And you’re smart, like so smart it amazes me sometimes,” he said, making you laugh. “Will, I wish you could see that you’re all that, too,” you sighed, drawing a hand through his hair. “No, I’m not,” he protested, “I’m not always there for you. I go away for long periods of time, I push you away because I’m stupid - just last year I was away from you for like 8 months, too caught up in my own shit to make sure you were all right,” he said, his voice falling lower. You pushed yourself further up, pressing your lips to his. “I love you,” you whisper against his lips, kissing him again. “I love you,” he said, kissing you again. “I want what’s best for you, and I don’t think I’m what’s best for you,” he sighed. You pulled back a little, looking at him - shaking your head. “You’re what’s best for me. Period. And I know what I’m getting myself into, and it’ll be easier now, now that we can fully communicate what we’re feeling,” you said, and a smile finally tugged at his lips. He nodded. You were right. He pulled you into a kiss, his hand curling around the back of your neck. He kissed you deeply, rolling to his side, so that you were both laying on your sides, facing each other. He pulled you closer by your hip, his hand disappearing underneath the sweater that warmed your body. You parted your lips, letting your tongue meet his, your fingers tangling in his hair. Your kisses became heated, fast. It was clear that there had been years of suppressed feelings and sexual attraction between you. You tore your lips from his, moving to leave kisses down his neck. The feeling of his bare skin underneath your fingers and the sound of his labored breaths urged you on. His hands roamed your back, pulling you as close as possible, and you slung your leg over his in a desperate attempt at getting closer to him. You lifted your head back up to meet him in an openmouthed kiss as he pushed his thigh between yours. His hand followed your back down to your naked bum underneath the blanket, as the towel that had been wrapped around your hips had fallen down as a result of William pushing his thigh in between yours. He pushed his hips towards yours, and you both moaned into each other’s mouths. “Will, please do something,” you breathed, but quickly continuing your sloppy, but needy kisses. He rolled over you, kissing you harder as he pushed his thigh up, making you desperately arch your body into his. He moved his hand down your thigh, before retreating back to your side, making the space between your thighs free. He slowly let his hand find its way back up your thigh - on the inside this time - and you cursed at him for teasing you. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he groaned as his fingers finally reached the place where you so desperately needed him most. You moaned, your body arching into his after every touch. His fingers slipped down your slit, and while he carefully followed your reaction with his eyes, he finally let his fingers sink into you. Your mouth fell open as a moan rolled off your tongue. You tightened your arm around Will’s neck, pulling him down to you, where you met in an openmouthed kiss. His tongue slotted against yours as his fingers moved in and out of you at a steady pace. When his thumb came up to give attention to your sensitive clit, your moans became more frequent and Will moved on to leave kisses down your neck. “I’m so close, Will,” you breathed, and he came back up to press his lips to yours, kissing you deeply as he twisted his fingers inside you. Your entire body arched into his as your orgasm washed over you, your forehead leaning against his as you couldn’t possibly concentrate on kissing him. You opened your eyes to see him watching you, his eyes following you closely. You felt your cheeks redden and you looked away, a smile growing on your lips. “Hey, don’t look away,” he said, smiling as well. You looked up at him with one eye still closed. “Why are you embarrassed?” he asked, making you shrug and pull him into a hug. “That was... really fucking hot,” he chuckled, leaving a kiss on your neck. You felt his hardness against your hip, and you pressed a kiss to his lips, your hand slipping back into his hair. He kissed you back immediately and you pushed up, making him roll to his back. He hummed against your lips as your hand moved down his torso - the hum turning into a groan when your hand covered the bulge in his shorts. “Shh,” he hushed, taking hold of your wrist and keeping it still. You looked up to the forest behind you, hearing voices becoming louder as they come closer. You looked back down at William, smiling as he with a disappointed expression pulled your hand away from his shorts. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” you whispered, kissing his cheek as you both sat up. You reached out to find your bikini bottoms dry, pulling them on while you were still under the blanket. “I hope everyone’s gone to bed when we get back,” he groaned, straining his neck to see a bunch of teenagers gathering near you with cans of beers in their hands. “I’m sorry to disappoint, but it’s only nine o’clock,” you chuckled, looking at the watch on your wrist. You quickly pack up all your things, pulling on your shorts and stepping back into your Birkenstocks. William pulled on a shirt and you made your way back. “Fuck, they’re all watching TV,” Will groan once you reach the gate leading up to the house. Through the window you could see them all gathered in the living room, the colors of the screen reflecting in the windows. There was no way you could sneak past them. “We’re not gonna be able to get away from them for a while,” William said, stopping on the porch, his hand on the door handle. “I know,” you smiled, pushing up on your toes to kiss him one last time before you exit the bubble the two of you had been in all day. “Hey, we just started a movie!” Michael told you once you both emerged from the hallway. “I’m just gonna go change, and I’ll be right down,” you said, as Will plastered a smile on his face and walked over to them. “Do you want us to press pause while you’re up?” Michael asked, sweetly. “No, it’s all good, I’ve seen it before,” you lied through your teeth, pretending to recognize the characters on the screen. The faster the movie was over, the better. You changed out of your denim shorts and your bikini bottoms and into actual underwear and a pair of comfortable shorts in a nice sweat pants like material - choosing to keep the hoodie William had borrowed you. When you came back down to the living room, your choices were sitting on the floor with Will’s sister or sharing the love seat with Will. You knew the best thing right now, for the both of you, would be to sit on the floor with Jaqueline, but still you found yourself sitting down in the love seat that didn’t really fit the both of you without you having to almost sit in William’s lap with his arm around you. His family didn’t bat an eye when you climbed into the chair, used to your affectionate behavior. And luckily, they’d turned their attention back to the movie when William at one point nuzzled his nose into your neck, especially when his free hand had made its way underneath your hoodie to rest on your waist. By the second half of the movie he was getting extremely impatient, you could hear him sighing behind you, his head leaning against your shoulder. When the movie finally ended, you made a show off yawning and stretching your arms over your head when you stood up, telling everyone that you were going to head to bed and wishing them a good night. William claimed to be just as tired, following you up the stairs. You heard at least two more talking about going to bed down stairs, and William grabbed your hand and quickly pulled you to his bedroom. You’d barely closed to the door behind you when William pulled you into him, pressing his lips to yours. One hand holding you close to him by your hip, the other cradling the back of your neck as he kissed you. You placed your hand on his hips as well, quickly letting them slide to his back and underneath his shirt, feeling his muscles moving beneath your fingers as his hands struggled to touch you and simultaneously hold you as close as possible. His tongue soon found its way into your mouth, and you found yourself moaning against his lips. This caused William to push his hips into yours and you could feel he was already hard – you weren’t really sure if he ever stopped being hard since the lake. As your fingers reach his hair, his came to your front, palming at your breast. You wanted to feel his skin against yours, letting your hands fall back down to his hips, feeling the thin material of his t-shirt between your fingers. You pulled away from his kiss and stepped back, lifting his shirt up and he immediately helped you get it off, throwing the shirt to the floor. You lifted your arms over your head and William immediately got the hint, taking hold of both your t-shirt and sweater, pulling it over your head letting them fall to the floor. You hadn’t bothered putting on a bra when you got back from the lake, something William seemed to be appreciating – his eyes on your chest as he reached out, placing his hands on your waist. His lips soon came back to yours, though, and your body was pulled flush against his. His hands slid to your back, fingers dancing across your lower back as you kissed – one hand sliding into the back of your loose shorts, his palm covering one of your cheeks. You moaned against his lips as he simultaneously squeezed your back side and pressed his hips to yours, his hardness against your lower stomach. You stepped back, your lips not leaving his, but your hand fell to the waist of his jean shorts, one finger hooked into the waistband and you slowly opened the button and zipper while Will impatiently whined against your lips. His bottoms fell to the floor and he kicked them to the side, where yours soon would follow. His hand slid down your thigh and he lifted your leg up to his hip, his own thigh pressing in between yours. Your mouth fell open as you gasped against his lips, and he moved on to kiss your neck. Your hand that previously had been roaming over his strong back, came back to his front and you let your palm cover the bulge in his boxers, adding pressure and enjoying the sounds erupting from his throat and how the vibrations felt against your neck. One of your hands made their way to his hair in the back of his neck and you got a good amount of his hair between your fingers, pulling him back to get your lips back on his – you were rewarded with another deep groan. You pulled your thigh from his and stepped up on your toes to deepen the kiss, his hand coming up to your neck to help your cause. You let your fingers move from his bulge to hooking inside the waistband of his boxers. He moaned against your lips again, as if he was begging you to rid him of his last piece of clothing. You smiled against his lips as you let your other hand fall to his hip as well, pulling down his boxers and letting them fall to the floor. While you wrapped your hand around his shaft, his hand went to the sides of your underwear, helping them fall of your hips and to the floor as well. Only seconds later his hand wrapped around your wrist, bringing your hand away from him, before quickly bending down and picking you up, leaving your underwear and all your other clothes behind on the floor as he turned and carried you towards his bed. He got into bed with you still in his arms, settling on the mattress with both his knees before letting you fall down on the soft white sheets. He fell forward, his outstretched arms breaking his fall on each side of your body. He came down, his lips touching yours as well as his hips. Now resting on one of his elbows, his other hand went under you, slipping down to your thigh and presses your body against his in search of friction. You moan into his mouth as he ground his hips into yours. “Will,” you moan, but it comes out more as a whine, a beg for him to do something. “Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, more to himself than to you, you thought. He scrambled to move one his legs out from in between yours, his hand coming down to your center. His fingers slipped between your lips, two fingers sliding into you in one swift motion. When the first moan escaped your lips, he started a trail of kisses down your neck, hushing you with a soft chuckle. He captured your nipple between his lips, making it even harder for you to keep quiet as he worked on stretching you out. You put your hand in his hair and lightly pulled him up. “I’m ready,” you breathed, pressing your lips against his once he let go of your nipple that had been between his lips. “Fuck,” he moaned against your mouth, reaching out towards his nightstand. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m on the pill,” you say, half your words barely audible as your mouth moves against his. He repeats his previous curse, rolling his hips into yours. “You sure?” he asks, his mouth pressed to your neck as he talks. “Yes,” you breathe, letting your head fall back on the pillow when you feel the tip of his cock between your lips, pressing into you. Will’s head is rested on your shoulder as he stills, fully inside you. He leaves a few light kisses on your neck before he comes up, his head just an inch or two above your face. His hand comes up to push a strand of hair out of your face and behind your ear. “I love you,” he whispers, a smile tugging on his lips – the smile spreading to yours as he comes down to kiss you. “I love you, too,” you smile against his lips. He lets his hand fall back down to your thigh, he lifts it up to his hip, letting it rest on top of his as he moves one knee up to get to a better angle. Once he’s satisfied with the position, his hands come back up and he starts moving, his fingers moving over your upper body as he rolls his hips into yours. Your mouth fall open to the feeling of William finally moving – finally inside you. A soft moan rolled of your tongue, reminding Willy that he had to find a way to keep you quiet. He pressed his lips to yours, his tongue finding its way into your mouth. Your hands were all over his back, one hand moving up and into the hair in the back of his neck, letting your fingers disappear into thick, blond locks of hair. Suddenly he got up on both knees, holding on to you and bringing you with him as he got up, turned around and fell back on the bed with you on top of him. He didn’t stay down for long, sitting up and meeting your lips in an immediately heated kiss, his hands landing on your hips to help your pace as you start rolling your hips. As your movements become sloppier and less consistent, his thumb comes down to your clit. “Are you close, baby?” he asks in a hushed voice, leaving a few kisses down the side of your neck and to your shoulder. You nod, just barely getting out a ‘yeah’, leaning down and resting your forehead on his shoulder, your arms around him, holding on as your eyes clench shut. “Let go,” he breathes, his hot breath giving your shivers as it hits the wet spots from his kisses. You pick your head up and pull him back with the hand in his hair, pressing your lips to his in a hard kiss in an attempt to stay quiet as the feeling takes over and you fall over the edge. William’s arms wrap around you, pressing you to him as he thrusts up into you, helping you ride out your high. Once you’re on your way back down, he flips you back over, landing on top of you again. He ups the pace, thrusting into you a few more times to reach his own orgasm – collapsing on top of you in a mess of pants and soft moans.  His head is resting on your chest, your fingers tangled in his locks, while you both calm down – and then a little longer. He tilts his head slightly, pressing a few soft kisses to your neck before he slowly gets up on his elbows, pressing down into the mattress on each side of your body. A little smile is a tugging at his lips, and it sends your own into a full-blown grin – to which a soft laugh escapes his throat and he leans forward, attacking your cheeks with kisses. You turn your head to meet his kisses with your lips and you end up spending a few minutes sharing sweet, happy kisses. “Hey, let’s take a quick shower,” he smiles, poking your cheek. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” you hum, reaching out for him to take your hand and help you up once he’s out of the bed. He pulls you up but doesn’t move, instead leans down to place another kiss on your lips and wrap his arms around your waist, lifting you up and carrying you to the bathroom when your wrap yours around his neck. You giggle softly as he refuses to let you down, turning on the shower while still holding you up – not letting your feet hit the ground until the water is at a nice temperature and you’re in the shower. You spend a few minutes in there leant against his chest as the water rinses your bodies of sweat, and sex, and dirt from the lake. He helps you wash your hair, and it’s not long until he wraps you in a big, soft towel. “Do you want me to go on a quick toothbrush run across the hallway?” he asks, sweetly. You laugh at how cute he looks with his own toothbrush hanging out of the side of his mouth as he speaks. You nod and he’s out the door, holding onto the towel he’s got wrapped around his hips as he runs to the guest room to get you your toothbrush. He’s back in seconds, holding out your toothbrush in front of him. “I mean, I could’ve gone myself but thanks,” you giggle, pushing up on your tippy toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “Mm, but I can get caught naked in the hallway in the middle of the night without it being weird. You can’t,” he says, pulling you closer to him by your waist. “And clothes are not an option right now,” he adds, making you laugh again. You’re swaying back and forth, his arms wrapped around you as you lean against his body. He’s humming and you’re enjoying the feeling of his soft skin against your cheek. His hands come up to the towel that’s wrapped around your head, undoing it and then starts to dry your hair while you peacefully lean against him looking up at him and leaving a few kisses on his scruffy jaw. His smile widens when he hears you yawn. “Let’s go to sleep, yeah?” he kisses your cheek. You nod and he leaves your hair towel on the bathroom before following you back into the bedroom. He makes sure to pull back the sheets before dropping the towel on the ground and climbing in. You let go of yours as well, smiling as he taps the spot next to him. You feel slightly insecure as you’re about to climb over him completely naked, but when he grabs your hips to steady you and looks up at you with the look of complete adoration in his eyes, you forget it all. You lay down, resting your head on his arm that is stretched out only for you to use it as a pillow. He pulls you into him before grabbing the sheets and pulling it up until it covers your chests. “You are so beautiful,” he whispers as his fingers are brushing through your damp hair, your eyes struggling to keep open. A smile that’s never really been fully gone all day spreads on your lips, and you open your eyes to see him smiling as well. You pull yourself closer to him with the arm that you’ve got resting on his torso, nuzzling into his neck. “I love you,” you breathe, sighing peacefully when you listen to him repeat the words back to you, thinking that you’ve never felt more comfortable.

~

You wake to the sound of Camilla bursting into Williams room, expecting to wake her son - and only her son - for breakfast, before she would move on to a light knock on the door to the guest room to wake you. But instead she found you there as well, in his bed - in his arms, nothing but naked shoulders and intertwined legs sticking out from the light comforter. “Oh!” she says, surprised, a smile quickly spreading to her lips. “Mom...” William whined, pulling the comforter up to make sure your naked chest was covered - there had definitely been some side boob, squeezed between yours and William’s chests, showing. “Oh, don’t worry! This is good,” she gesticulated, her arms moving in your direction. “I’m just glad you two finally figured it out,” she added excitedly, backing out the door whilst your cheeks reddened against William’s chest. “Oh, and get up, there’s breakfast in the garden!” “Oh god,” you mumbled into Will’s chest, moving your arm that had been stretched out over his torso up to slide around his neck, pulling yourself up and hiding your blushing cheeks in the crease between his neck and his shoulder. “I should’ve known that would happen,” he groaned. “I’m sorry,” he added, his hand coming up to your shoulder. “It’s okay,” you sat up slightly, leaning on your forearm, your head just a few inches over his. “Let’s look at the bright side, now we don’t have to tell them, everyone will know before we even get down there,” you told him, making him laugh. “They probably already know by now,” he laughed, and you patiently waited for his laugh to calm down before you leant down and met his lips in a smiling kiss. His hand came up to your face as he kissed you back, the kiss quickly deepening. William pushed up, making you fall to your back - him quickly following you by climbing over you, his thigh moving between yours. You opened your mouth, your tongue meeting his as his hand moved down your side, stopping to massage your breast, before moving on to the back of your thigh. He took hold of your thigh, bringing your knee up to his hip, his thigh sliding up between your legs, making you moan against his lips. “Fuck,” William pulled back, pressing his forehead to yours. “I want you so bad,” he breathed, making another wave of want for him crash at the pit of your stomach. You arched you back, leaning up to press another openmouthed kiss to his lips. “We should probably stop,” you panted, “your mom will probably come back if we don’t show up soon,” you added. William sighed but nodded, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he climbed out of bed, his hand immediately moving over his very erected member as he made his way to the bathroom. You got up too, realizing all your clothes from last night where spread out over the floor. “Oh god, Will, my thong is literally right by the door... next to your boxers,” you hid your face in your hands, thinking about what his mother had seen. “I don’t think it would have made a difference, you were pretty clearly naked on top of me - wouldn’t have to be a rocket scientist to understand what we were up to last night, not even my mom,” he stopped his ramble when he saw your reflection in the mirror, fully dressed in your shorts and the hoodie you’d borrowed from Will when you’d gotten cold by the lake. “She didn’t have to see my dirty panties, though,” you said, leaning in the doorway. He shrugged. “You having trouble with that?” you nodded towards the obvious bulge in his shorts. William looked down at his crotch, as if to judge his situation. “It won’t go away,” he said, dramatically. You walked over to him, leaning your back to the sink, looking up at him. “How long do you think it would take me to get rid of it for you?” you smirked, making his mouth fall open. “Not long,” he breathed, his voice low. Before he could think of his next move, you’d slung one arm around his neck, pressing your lips to his - your other hand moving into his loose shorts, taking hold of his erection. William groaned against your lips and you moved down, leaving a few kisses on his neck before completely falling to your knees, pulling his shorts down and placing the head of his dick on your tongue. His hand came down to hold your hair back and you took him into your mouth. He was right, it didn’t take you long to get rid of it - only a couple of minutes of your lips around his cock and your hand alternating between his shaft and his balls before he came down your throat with a deep moan. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he mumbled, more so to himself, when you got back up to your feet and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand – smiling.

~

You felt a small ball of anxiety build in your chest as you walked through the opened French doors and out into the garden to where William’s entire family was waiting. You didn’t know how to act, if you should act like nothing had changed or if you wanted to die and disappear into a hole in the ground, so you just kind of strategically walked behind Willy, so that no one would be able to see your face. Your plan wasn’t exactly long term, though, as you couldn’t really hide behind him once you got to the table. It was all fine, though, until you ended up sitting down right across the table from Alex who met your anxious eyes with a huge, shit-eating grin. It was at that point that your cheeks decided to flare up into an aggressive red and not just the one, but both Nylander brothers laughed at you. You couldn’t stop from laughing yourself, but you sunk down in your chair, both hands raising to cover your face as you laughed with the rest of the table that had now joined in. The laughter died down and William put his hands under your arms, comedically pulling you back up in your chair before leaning over and placing a quick kiss to your forehead – to which Alex decided to elicit a loud and overdramatic “Awww, so cute!” “Really, Alex? Like you haven’t seen that a hundred times before,” William shook his head at his little brother, chuckling. A kiss on the forehead wasn’t new and every person around this breakfast table had seen it before. In fact, William wasn’t even the only one around said table to have kissed you on your forehead. “Oh, but now I know the meaning behind it,” he said, equally as dramatic – even laying his hand over his heart as he said it, making both you and William, and everyone else roll your eyes. “Give me a break, Alex,” you said, shaking your head as well and turning back to what you were here for in the first place, picking a slice of bread from the basket that Camilla held towards you and Willy.    “On a more serious note, when did this happen?” Camilla asked, somehow being able to scold her youngest son and simultaneously sound joyous over yourself and her oldest son. “I don’t know, like… thirty hours ago?” William said, poking at your phone that laid on the table between your plates to see the time. “Thirty hours ago?” Camilla repeated with a confused look on her face. “So, that’s what was so funny you had to keep me awake for it in the middle of the night?” Alex asked, amused. You and Willy both nodded, chuckling as you thought back to giggling in the hammock two nights ago. “Well, I think it was worth keeping Alex up,” she adds, sending you a warm and welcoming smile as your cheeks reddens again and William’s arm wrap around your shoulders.  

#william nylander imagine #william nylander smut #william nylander #hockey #hockey smut #hockey imagine #william nylander owns my ass

[explorer-9-blog]

Treasure amidst the City

It was a lazy Sunday morning, I had just woken up, took my phone and plugged it for charging and sat on the sofa still waiting for my body to come out of slumber. This was a daily routine. I sat there gazing at the greenery outside from my living room balcony. My balcony faces the garden from where you can see the Ashoka trees with their thick foliage, few coconut trees at a distance and a badam tree and a peepal tree at the periphery. There is something soothing and calming in this sight of the leaves fluttering in the breeze, movement of birds from one tree to another and the melody of various bird sounds. Obviously the crows are the lead vocalists you hear but in the background one can hear the different artist pitching in and it is those artists and contributors that make it a melody.

So as I was saying, it was a typical start to the day and as I sat there my brother tells me that he just saw a crow sized black bird with brown wings flying and settling behind the thick floiage of Ashoka tree, intrigued I joined him in the balcony and now we were trying to get a glimpse of it, hoping the breeze would shuffle the leaves a bit or the bird would make a movement to enable us to get a sight of it. And just moments later we see the leaves move at a place due to the birds movement and a closer look gives us the glimpse of the light brown back of the bird. Its like a trailer which keeps us interested and as we keep looking at the tree we are able to track its movement behind the leaves as it is a big bird. Finally it comes and settles at one of the branches towards the outer end giving us a full view and it was a triumphant moment as our patience bore fruit. As we admired it's beauty we realized it bigger then a crow, I asked my brother to take a pic so that we can flaunt it but just as he went to get his phone the bird took flight stretching it's brown wings and it was a beautiful sight. My brother came back with the phone and I told him it's gone. Nature had done a good balancing act. He saw it come and settle. I saw it settle and leave.

The next step was to google the description and find out who the unexpected visitor was. The result was immediate. The beauty is called 'Crow pheasant' or 'the Greater coucal'. I liked the name greater coucal. It suits the image of the bird. Crow pheasant makes it sound ordinary and it was not ordinary. The internet image helped us admire it's finer details like it's orange eyes and the blackish Purple body. Step 3 was to share our discovery of sorts with fellow beings with its name and internet image. Wow what a start it was to my day and I sat there with a sense of joyous fulfillment.

The events of the morning took me down memory lane and to the reason why this plain looking at trees, listening to bird sounds and occasional rare bird specie sighting is so pleasing to me. And this friends is the treasure I want to reveal. My family moved in to this Mumbai society in 1986 right after yours truly was born. Since my childhood I remember not waking up to the alarm but chirping of sparrows. We didn't have ACs in those days and both the bedroom windows would be kept open to let the air pass and keep the room temperature pleasant. One of the bedroom windows had similar view as from my living room balcony being adjacent to each other. And the next bedroom window had a green curtain of sorts. And no I am not talikng about the cloth ones. Once you open the cloth curtain you will find a Ashoka tree almost hugging the window grill and this was the abode of the sparrows. And our society has these Ashoka trees at a distance of every 6 feet along the motorable road inside the colony. So that window was flanked by this Ashoka tree and one to its either side. As if this wasn't enough, we have a mango tree just behind these Ashoka trees, so even between those Ashoka trees all you can see was green. And in this way the sparrows became our early morning alarm. I don't see them much now and the sound has also gone down several notches. Also the AC being used now has made us close the window :(. So as kids we woke up with a natural alarm and mom and dad used to carry us to the living room and setlle us on the sofa there. And though we didn't value the sight from our balcony much then, we now realize it was paradise. With the years gone by the present day view from the balcony desribed above has changed a bit. In our childhood days the green from the Ashoka trees was complimented by a bright red gulmohar tree in its full bloom. This and a full grown cocnut tree with its branches spread out was what we saw every morning. This coconut tree was right in front of the balcony and the badam and peepal tree were visible from between it's branches then. If only I could do anything to have that sight again.

The parrots were regular early morning visitors of the coconut tree and unlike other kids we never found parrots rare or exotic as we used to see them everyday. The gulmohar had a charm of it's own. The blazing red had a different beauty during sunset with the mix of orange skies. When the red petals fell to the ground it seemed as if the gulmohar has a laid out a red carpet for residents of the society. We lost the coconut tree to pests and the gulmohar to construction of a building. Had instagram and camera phones existed then, my balcony view would have been my best muse. 

One other thing which is worth mentioning is the sweet sounds of the cuckoo that summers brought with them. The cuckoo has always been a frequent visitor. As kids you just enjoyed the sound and didn't take the pains to find the bird. That and the cuckoo made it difficult too. Everyone will agree it's not easy to spot one. But that too was accomplished when I sat to study in my bedroom window during my CA days. As opposed to a crow it had a slender body, longish tail and a smaller beak. Spotting a cuckoo till date is exciting as it's not as common as the parrots were. Summers also meant school vacations and I am glad that  unlike kids of today, we spent our childhood vacations in outdoor activities. We used to play cricket in the morning till lunch time and after lunch we used to meet again as sleep was considered waste of good vacation time. Tired from the morning cricket and full with lunch we used to just sit and chill in the afternoon. And the place to chill was our colony garden. We had a tree we called our own. This was a small tree bearing small white flowers with a 4-5 feet trunk and branches going upwards in all directions from the center. Thus once you climbed the trunk you had 4-5 strong branches to sit and lean on. The tree easily managed the weight of 4 ten year olds. And our afternoons were spent mostly sitting on the tree and at other times playing marbles in the soft red soild in its shade. As we grew up while the sitting on the tree remained the same the tree changed. The small white flower bearing tree no longer could fit us and we had our sights on bigger things. Now we could climb the trunk of the mango tree. Not the one near my bedroom balcony but the one in our garden. Yes we had 6 mango trees in the colony and the seventh one had its trunk outside but the fruit bearing portion was inside our colony. So the teenage afternoons were spent on the mango tree in the garden. We used to pluck mangoes targetting the fruit with rubber balls or using a bamboo to pluck them. The mango fruit is also of different varieties as we all know. And the tree in our garden had a peculier variety. The fruit was round and slighly bigger in size. We used to call it 'Laddu keri' cause of the round shape. And we took pride in it as this was nothing of the ordinary. After plucking the raw mangoes we used to ask the society Gardner to slice them for us and give us a mixture of salt and red chilli powder to eat with it. Till date it's a pleasure to see the mango trees in full bloom with the fruits just before the arrival of the monsoon. 

With so much greenary around the beautifully coloured butterflies and hyper active squirells were a common sight. But we have also spotted snakes in our garden while playing cricket and an owl twice or thrice at night. One thing i find silly now is the fact that we never stopped playing in the garden despite the snake sightings. We might have stopped a game a couple of times but we used to be back the next day or the same evening if we had stopped a game in the morning. Over the years I have seen many rare birds be it from my balcony or while studying for my CA on my terrace (cost me an attempt) [list below]. Nature, thus, was always an integral part of my growing up. No doubt it has a calming and soothing effect on me till date. This greenery around me is like a treasure in the midst of this hustling and bustling city.

Other notable bird visitors - 

Magpie Robin it's a songster very melodious

Purple rumped sunbird - small and elegant

White spotted fantail - its got a name from its look, yes it has a fanned tail.

Eurasian golden oriole - this was a rare sighting. I have never seen a yellow bird before and it wasn't difficult to find a yellow bird native to Mumbai on Google.

#nature #birds #birdlover #Mumbaibirds #birdwatcher

-Bhavik

[caithelps]

Trip by Jhene Aiko RP Sentence Starters Part 3: (feel free to change name(s), pronouns, etc as needed) Find part 1 here, part 2 here

Triggers: Drugs/pills, alcohol

Never Call Me ft Kurupt:

“Oh, boy, I'ma have to call them boys on you”

“Awe damn, I'ma have to call that man on you”

“Something, something, something must be really wrong with you”

“Why can't you just tell the fuckin' truth now?”

“Yes your mama did, she raised a fool, wow”

“What the fuck did you learn in that schoolhouse?”

“To chase them thrills"

“Takin' pills in the hills, Slauson Hills, Overhills might get you killed”

“Not welcome 'round them parts no more”

“Do not run your mouth no more”

“I can't protect you no more”

“It's out of my hands for sure”

“You should've called me”

“Why you never call me?”

“Okay, now you wanna say all that I’ve done to ya”

“You knew all along that I wasn't the one for you”

“So let's stop pretending like we were in love”

“We never shared anything but the drugs”

“We were both numb, never had anything real between us”

“We really must be smoking that crazy shit, in my city talkin' crazy shit”

“But you ain't know I'm a crazy bitch”

“And tell your lawyer that I ain't paying shit”

“Maybe you should chill, really in your feels”

“My bros really in the field”

“Neighborhood is really real and they don't play that here”

“You shouldn't say that here”

“You should've made it clear, my dear”

“Now hey sis, I'ma let you know like this”

“Hit me right back, this Kurupt, okay?”

“The 60's, we ain't worried bout none of these muthafuckin' bustas”

“Ya understand me?”

“From the Overhill to the fronts to the back mayne”

“We pushin' this line to d'nine”

“So don't worry 'bout none of this shit"

“Don't worry 'bout him callin' you and all the rest of that shit”

“You know what? It's his lost, ya know what I'm sayin'?”

“I heard the homie, the homie called me and was like”

“I'm like "No, not Jhené"

“Né-né, you hit me I got you, you understand me?”

“You're the one, I love you, make sure you hit me back”

“This is your big brother, you hear me?”

“Aye, call me as soon as you get this, you hear me?”

“Don't make me call your mama now, I'll track you down”

Nobody:

“Attention is expensive to pay”

“I can't get by on minimum wage”

“Been dealing with this venomous rage”

“Since I was under the age I've been under the influence of pain”

“And I never needed nobody”

“Never needed no one”

“No, I don't need nobody"

“I don't need no one, shit, I don't need no one”

“Fucking up my chakras again”

“My father is a doctor, I've been talking to him”

“All the shit I'm taking could've got it from him”

“I don't have no patience, prolly got it from him”

“Just a product of him”

“Pop one, pop two, pop three, four pills”

“These things tell me how life should feel”

“Fuck you, it's my free will”

“Please don't tell me to chill” 

“'Cause I don't need nobody”

“No one ever listened, no one called me pretty”

“Grampy called me ‘Penny’, I think I am worthless”

“I don't have a purpose”

“Who am I enough for?”

“Why we always lose what we work for?”

“Why we hurt more?”

“Why we never see my mother cry?”

“She's so tough for us, poor her”

“Grab my purse with my prescriptions in it”

“Tiny bursts of optimism in them”

“I'm reversing my decision to win”

“Take this take this, take this, take”

“Back to '88 when everything was great”

“Then life had just begun”

“It is '89 now, everything is fine now”

“I am only one”

“Wait for the 2008 summer”

“I'ma be a mother, wow”

"2012 summer, it just got tougher”

“I don't have my brother now”

“Take this, take six, take pics, faces, famous”

“Face it, fake shit, pain is faithless”

“Yes, I am aware I am tripping”

“I'm here in this hell that I don't wanna live in”

“I smoke on my own, I drink on my own”

“I know it's wrong”

“To people I know, they just wanna know what's going on”

“I can't tell a soul, no, I can't tell no one”

“Don't need nothing from no one”

“But you're not alone, you got me”

“Look, I know what'll make you feel better”

“Here, try this 

Overstimulated:

“Is this thing on?”

“Reverse effect”

“Don't get it wrong, don't get it twisted”

“Don't mix it up, gotta get lifted”

“You know I'm young, you know I'm gifted”

“I'm on a roll, I'm on a mission”

“I need your light, I need your guidance”

“Already high, I'll be alright, I wanna try it”

“Crushing the line, cutting the line, crossing the line”

“Bumps in the night got me over here overstimulated”

“Crushing the line, cutting the line, crossing the line”

“Bumps in the night got me, got me over here overstimulated”

“Why you never stay for long? You always go so fast���

“Who's gonna hold my hand when I'm crashing”

“Took it without looking now I'm looking up the side effects”

“Pill identifier says that I should be dying next”

“My regrets, oh my regrets”

“Over here overstimulated”

“Let's get one thing clear bitch, I am the greatest”

“You are not my peer, you are overrated”

“Know you mad I made it, know you hate it”

“But I'm in this bitch like”

“And if my heart goes out right now this goes out to you”

“This goes out to you”

“What the fuck did you give me?”

“Oh, no no Chill chill”

“Huh?”

“Are you okay?”

“Did you see that?”

“I don't know what you're talking about”

“Relax, relax”

“Get me out of here

“Why would you do this to me?!”

“Someone give her some water”

Bad Trip:

“I'm having an awful time

“You said you would get me high

“But you took me out my mind way down to the other side”

“On a bad trip”

“Like a child in a womb, with no room to grow”

“In a world I didn't know, I'm confused and cold”

“Now you show me all the things I could never see”

“In a new reality, I cannot believe”

“Bad trip”

“I thought you loved me”

“Someone get me some help”

“You told me you loved me”

“You're a liar, I hate you”

“Where am I?”

“Just calm down”

“Don't touch me”

Oblivion (Creation):

“The world's a fucking mess”

“It's gone to shit”

“I am every bit a part of it”

“I may have started it”

“I try to find a brighter sight”

“An elevated, higher sight”

“It's out of sight”

“Oblivion”

“Wish I would go back”

“I could go back to no one”

“Oblivion, wish I would go back”

“I could go back to nothing”

“My life's a fucking trip”

“It makes me sick”

“I am so jaded and I hate it”

“I'm faking it”

“I try to find a greater shade”

“To be the way”

“To lead the way”

“I need to wait”

“I could go back to nothing”

“There's no lovin' without losin'”

“There's no livin' without bruisin'”

“There's no limit, no delusion”

“Sweet oblivion”

“It's out of sight, out of mind”

“Dear brother”

“Am I still asleep?”

“Last night I saw you”

“And you told me there was coin laundry on the moon”

“I met a boy, he wasn't right for me”

“But now that I'm alone I can hear the spirits talking”

“From the metaphysical to the physical”

“From the inside out”

“Let there be no doubt”

“Sage, means sagacity and intelligence that’s why the indigenous people burned it”

“To bring out the wisdom”

“If you talk to your plants, they will talk to you and they will nourish you”

“Nourish you to a greater creation“

Psilocybin (Love in Full Effect):

“Get it poppin' on this Psilocybin”

“Getting rid of inhibition”

“In a sane asylum”

“I can feel it hit the ceiling”

“When it’s in my body”

“An out of body experience”

“A spirit party”

“Won’t let the day get in the way”

“We’re on a plane to inner space”

“Don’t be afraid, give it away”

“We gotta make a great escape”

“I can do all things”

“By the sunlight”

“What a wonderful life”

“We should do mushrooms by the moonlight”

“What a wonderful ride”

“Right mind, right now”

“Right direction”

“By your side”

“You and I, do or die”

“Who am I?”

“Your reflection”

“Got this Psilocybin in my pocket”

“I am a healing prophet”

“Seeds of promise in my garden”

“I need to harvest often”

“Such a lush experience”

“So mysterious”

“In a sweet delirium”

“No need to rush it”

“I am helping you grow”

“Psychedelics, yes”

“A supreme bright other”

“Can't you see my color?”

“I'm the divine mother”

“Please don't blow my cover”

“Take a ride into paradise”

“Let's go on a journey hidden in the sky”

“Come and take a ride into paradise”

“Open up your heart and let me in”

“I will not let you down”

“Don’t trip, I gotcha”

“Open up your mind and you’ll feel it, the healing”

“Go slowly, go slower”

“No need to rush it”

“Love-lovely feel”

“Now, breathe”

“Breathe through it”

“Be still, be here”

“No fear”

“You are here”

“Breathe, love”

“I'm from Sirius”

“8 light-years away”

“15 trillion miles”

“Without the smiles”

“Let me see you smile”

“Give me 5,200 feet of happiness”

“Now let me see you smile”

“Give me 5,080 feet of happiness”

“Are you living?”

“Or are you just surviving?”

“Are you giving?”

“Let me see love”

“Living on valued energy”

“I got life”

“Love is for happiness”

“Love in full effect”

“I'm from the Universe soul”

“We're all from the Universe soul”

“We're all one”

#rp starters #sentence starters #rp memes #rph #rpc