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zumaira · 2 years

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The versatile Camon nineteen Neo: your best travel companion

The versatile Camon nineteen Neo: your best travel companion The versatile Camon nineteen Neo: your best travel companion. Travelers attempt to pack nominal things on their adventures to confirm their most level of freedom. that’s why most of them like a smartphone with outstanding camera technology rather than a large camera to photograph their travel diaries. For that, it’s very crucial that…

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magazinepk · 2 years

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The versatile Camon nineteen Neo: your best travel companion

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wulfhalls · 5 days

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girlfriend the energy in this old church hung with white supremacy paraphernalia is INSANE. u have timtom olyphant swaging in there like I KNOW U. I know YOU. we haven't seen each other in decades but i know u ill always know u we dug coal together. TOGETHER. ur not a deranged racist u just like cash and when things go boom. he said my man did all that but NOT because he's a neo nazi he's an entrepreneur actually <3 and with his whole chest while in his I love racism ideologically shrine at that. and walton goggins firing back with I've seen into the very depths of ur heart even over the miles and years separating us i know ur motives i know u just as much as u know me. because we were nineteen and we dug coal together. also we look at each other like we need to devour the other whole lol

#im. not good #justified #raylanboyd #txt.me

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nat-space-obsessed · 1 month

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"I'm 23." "No, You're Not."

Crossposted on AO3!

It turns out to be very hard to get a tattoo when you look eternally 14.

Prompt by @charcoalhawk

"Kid, You're like twelve. That's a fake ID. I'll get in trouble if I let you get a tattoo here."

"As I said, I am literally 23. I've been 23 for five months now. It is on my ID. I swear to you that my ID is real." Danny repeated for the third time that hour.

Danny had been going to get a tattoo, his second, actually, and both times so far he had come across one issue:

His eternally 14 year old face.

"I told you, this can't be a real ID, you look twelve."

"I look fourteen, thank you very much."

"You realize that doesn't help, don't you?" The girl behind the counter retorted.

No, it doesn't.

One thing about being immortal is that you forget that you are immortal. Danny's ID has his birth date and his current photo. It's not his fault that he looks fourteen!

Actually it is. He's the one who died.

"If I told you it's a health condition, would you believe me?"

"Not without a doctor's note. Either way, kid, even if you are somehow older than 16, you can't get a tattoo even with parental consent. We live in Illinois."

Danny hated being locked out of things due to his perceived age. Even when he was in college, and all of his classmates thought he skipped a bunch of grades to get where he was. Every time he met someone new he had to go through the same spiel.

'I'm nineteen, yes I look young, it's a medical condition, yes I am in my second year of college' yadda yadda yadda. It had been four years and it only got worse.

It was worse when he was going to different age restricted places, such as bars and tattoo parlors, which thought that he was a literal kid.

"Look. I already have a tattoo, isn't that enough??"

"How do I know you didn't have a friend do that for you, huh? I remember middle school with all of the stick-n-pokes."

"Does this look like a stick-n-poke???" No, it doesn't. It was a full color three quarter arm in a neo-traditional style. It was a ghost, because he loves his irony.

Danny kept staring at the girl behind the counter, not blinking the whole time, as she stared at him incredulously.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you keep being a problem."

"I'm not being a problem! You're the one who isn't listening as I try to explain my situation!"

"Kid, you aren't going to get a tattoo from this place." She sighed. "Look, I can call my boss and she can make the final call on it."

"Yes! Please! Do!"

The girl in front of him walked into the back room and called a name that Danny hadn't heard since high school. "Hey! Star!"

Wait, Star?

"What is it now, Kay?" A familiar voice rang out, in an exasperated voice.

"Look, there's this kid at the front who says he's 23, he has an ID that looks like it checks out, but he looks twelve. Literally twelve."

"God, Kay. Just tell him no!" A woman walked out from the back room, and looked at Kay, then made eye contact with Danny.

"Wait, FENTON? Damn, you literally haven't changed since freshman year!" The blonde girl laughed.

"Star! It's been so long, I can't believe you recognize me!" Danny smiled. "You started a tattoo parlor?"

"Yeah, after high school, I decided to apprentice at that one parlor down the road from school? Yeah you know the one, right?"

"I got my first tattoo there! this one," Danny pointed to his three quarter.

"Was it James? I apprenticed under him." Star smiled at Danny.

"Wait, Star, you know this kid?"

"We went to high school together. I was a bit of an asshole, but we made up at the end of senior year! We'd all been through a lot together, you know what they say about trauma bringing people together!"

Danny smirked at Star. "You still in contact with Paulina?" He started, "Have you heard about her new girlfriend?"

"Oh yeah! We had a double date not too long ago, you know, me and Kwan."

"I always thought you and Kwan would get together! You guys were always pretty good with each other."

"WAIT, wait wait, so Star, he's not lying about his age??" The girl behind the counter said.

"Yeah, he's looked that way since freshman year, some sort of medical condition, right?"

"It was a whole thing in senior year, we were comparing yearbook photos, it was so funny to see Dash freak out like that."

Danny and Star laughed at the memory.

"So, can I get my tattoo now?"

"Oh for sure! I'd love to get you started on that, do a quick consultation." Star led Danny to her office in the back.

The girl at the front counter grasped her head in frustration.

#phic phight 2024 #phic phight #danny fenton #danny phantom #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic

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kaepop-trash · 1 year

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Notorious: Act IV

Rated: 18+ ONLY, Smut, Neo-Noir, Femme Fatale, Undercover Agent, Criminal, Exes to "Lovers", Mutual Pining, Cat and Mouse dynamics but make it hurt.

Pairing: JaehyunxReaderxJohnny

Summary: Inspired by Notorious (1946), Ever since your father went to jail for an illegal arms trade, a lot had changed in your life. Your present was about living with a tarnished reputation, the only redemption being a strange man who you agreed to help get to the root of the same trade that ruined your family. Still, just as you were adjusting to that very man, your past came back to haunt you. The only part of your past that had ever been happy till it wasn't, a part you could leave behind but never forget. But if Johnny was your past and Jaehyun your present, what would your future be?

Chapter Summary: Johnny asks (Y/N) for a precious favour. Jaehyun is against it and she isn't too keen on it either. What do you do when your worst fears come true?

Warnings: Smut; Fingering, Penetration, unprotected sex; Strong themes of alchoholism, emotional abuse, emotional manipulation, gaslighting. THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE ASPIRATIONAL.

Word Count: 9.7k

(A/N): This took me a very long time because it was very heavy to write. Without getting too much into it, I just hope everyone can forgive me for being so inconsistent.

Act I | Act II | Act III

Taglist: @commentgirl @sadgirlroo @nak4m8to @babyksworld @milkyway-vxm @hwangfulok-blog

Johnny took her hand in his under the table, an old habit that she had just learned to live with by now. The immobility the gesture gave, made it hard to open the menu so she just leaned over to the side to peer into his.

(Y/N) could see his lips tug from the corner of her eye at the gesture as he brushed a kiss against her temple. When she turned, he gave her a pursed smile, eyes glimmering with the light that had slowly started returning in the past month. The same glimmer that made her fall in love with him once upon a time.

“You should get the shrimp pasta, they make it really well here.” His voice was soft. She had to look away to ignore the thumping in her chest, giving him a nod. He was happier lately, more than perhaps she could recall. The only time she could remember him being happier was the day he got on one knee in front of her.

(Y/N) pulled herself out of her thoughts with a harsh tug, “Sure, that sounds good.” She shrugged. “I’ll have that and a glass of rosé.”

“You’re not drinking.” He stated with a brisk finality.

“Why not?” She turned to give him a frown. “I want a glass of rosé.”

“You don’t need it though, sweetheart.” He lifted her hand, giving it a kiss. “It’s just a glass of wine.”

“Exactly.” She pulled her hand out of his, “It’s just a glass of wine that I want to pair my food with.

Johnny sighed, “I’m just looking out for you.”

“I appreciate it.” She spoke, clearly not meaning it. “I’m still getting myself what I want.

“(Y/N).” His voice was an impatient warning that he tried to soften with a sigh.

“Stop speaking.” She didn’t soften the warning in her tone. “You can’t make decisions for me.”

“Why are you being like this?” Johnny frowned, “I’ve noticed that you drink too much and I’m just concerned. Why are you making me sound like a villain?” He sounded hurt, brows furrowing.

She stared at him for a moment, feeling whiplash from how rapidly he made her feel nineteen years old again. She had to look away to curb her anger. She reminded herself that she wasn’t nineteen anymore and took a deep breath instead of just spitting her anger out at him. She was not going to make it easier for him.

“I’m not trying to make you sound like a villain. That was not my intention, I apologise if it sounded like that.” She surrendered, looking away and catching a waiter’s eye.

Johnny looked extremely confused from her admittance, forehead creasing for a second before he sighed and gave her a tight lip smile. Johnny had been ready for a fight. One where he could emerge as the martyr, as was his habit. And she was not going to make it easy.

“I just want what’s best for you.” He reasoned.

“I know. I’m sorry.” She hummed, looking up just as the waiter approached. When it looked like Johnny was going to reach for her hand, she busied it by reaching for her glass of water. Johnny didn’t say anything, neither did he make any further attempt to touch her. When the waiter asked if they wanted something to drink with their food, she said no.

“They have a raspberry pudding on the menu.” Johnny spoke for the first time once their plates were empty. "Should we order some?" He asked, speaking like he was walking on eggshells.

"Sure." She spoke, giving him a compliant nod. Johnny flexed his jaw, turning away from her to call a waiter. His forehead creased with clear markings of irritation. The audacity of it offended her, but she willed herself to keep her mouth shut and they finished their dinner in silence.

They made it back to his house like that, Johnny following behind her as they ascended the stairs that led to the living room.

"Why are you angry at me when I was just looking out for you?" He spoke just as she turned to go upstairs to the bedroom.

"Who said I'm angry?" She resisted the urge to frown.

"You are angry." He huffed.

She turned to him with eyes void of any emotion at all. "No I'm not.” She lied. “You just want me to be angry because then you can tell me how you were looking out for me and how I'm not justified in my anger."

Johnny looked a little caught off guard by the assessment, yet recovering in a beat. "I was looking out for you."

Sharp anger rose to her head from the repeated sentence. Like if he said it enough times, she'd somehow believe him. Or he’d believe himself.

"I know. And I am not angry. I said I'm sorry to you then. So why are we having this conversation?” She furrowed her brows, feigning confusion.

“I know you. I especially know your anger.” He injected.

“Was deciding what I'll consume not enough? Now you want to decide how I'm feeling?" The words slipped off her lips with increasing hostility, realising too late when Johnny's frown unfurled. He had trapped her.

"I thought you weren't angry." He took a step closer towards her.

"I'm not." She turned away from him, feeling like a child caught in a lie.

"I wasn't trying to control you.” He took a step on the stairs, coming around her to meet her gaze— and to tower over her. “I was just doing what someone who cares would." He tried to reason, tone still infuriatingly chastising.

"I didn't say you were controlling me." She said without bite, not looking up at him, adamant to not give him anything to use against her again. She knew how he fought, always ready to make himself the victim so she was left to be the perpetrator.

"In only so many words." He came closer, putting a hand over the one she had on the railing. "I just don't see why you drink all the time. You almost finished the whiskey I keep in the office." His tone changed and she tried to move away from the concern.

"I'll buy you more." She tried to go around him, stopping when he squeezed her hand to curb her ascend.

"You know that's not what this is about." His voice edged on a sense of betrayal. "I know things haven't been easy for you. Nobody knows that more than me. But this isn't the answer. Sometimes we need to face things instead of hiding behind temporary solutions."

She gripped her own jaw this time, tight me enough that her cheekbones ached.

"You're assuming too much." Her voice was low, a dangerous line where any louder would make the rolling fury in her erupt. "I'm not hiding." She turned to look at him, "I'm sorry my drinking concerns you. But I don't do it as a crutch." She defended herself, neither of them believing her words entirely.

Johnny looked like he was going to say something but he let go, leaning closer to kiss her brow instead.

"Let's not be like this. I don't want us to fight over every little thing like we used to." He mumbled against her, pulling away to give her a smile and pulling her hand away from the railing into his.

She didn't protest, giving him a nod that they both knew was half hearted.

That night (Y/N) went home. Johnny didn't say anything when she asked to be dropped to the apartment, he knew why. She always took time to be by herself when she was angry. He always told himself that it wasn't to be away from him, but to see the arguments with a much needed distance. He always told himself that she did exactly what he did. And he accepted it because out of all the times she left, it was only once when she didn't come back. He knew this time wouldn’t be the second.

A few days later he asked to meet her at a cafe on Copacabana. Without considering it a choice, she went.

"I'm getting an award." Johnny spoke first, taking the time to drink his coffee before doing so.

Her lips parted to silence, unsure about how to react. "For what?" She asked, swallowing after.

Johnny failed to bite down the smile at the corner of his lips, "Some business award. The company made good profits last year."

"That's great, Johnny. I’m so proud of you." She gave him a smile, weak despite her conscious effort.

"I want you to come with me." He added, stumbling over the words.

"Where would we go?" She questioned with a lighter tone. Johnny didn't respond immediately, instead avoiding her gaze and fidgeting with the handle of his small espresso cup. Realisation dawned on her, squeezing her lungs painfully. "No. I can't." She wanted to sound firm but her words came out a plea.

"It'll just be for three days. It'll be over before you know it. Just an evening of meeting a few strangers." He added with a soft look in his eyes.

"Johnny, I–" she tried to reason, to explain to him how he was asking the impossible of her. "Everybody will talk. Home is–" her words failed her again.

"I know." He reached across the table, grabbing her hand. "But I'll be right there with you. It's an important day for me, (Y/N). It's an important day for the business. So many of my father's family fought tooth and nail to break the company apart. They said I could never take on my father's mantle." His fingers squeezed her palm. Unintentionally, she noted.

"This award." His jaw flexed, "It's a product of every effort I put, everything I've sacrificed. It's proof that all of it was worth something in the end." His eyes clouded with some far away storm, mirroring the encroaching clouds above them. “For them, at least.”

He snapped out of it at the moment, looking at her with a soft smile, "Everybody else there will be an enemy or a stranger. I want you to be there. You're all I have."

His words made the pressure on her lungs shift to the cavity of her heart, pressing down with a punishing weight. There was nothing to say to such a heartfelt plea. It didn't matter that going back home was something that would bring her nothing good, not when the alternate was so heartbreaking.

She could picture Johnny standing there, receiving some mass produced trophy while apathetic and vindictive people all watched and clapped.

It also seemed to make her see how lonely he must have been all these years. All his achievements, small and big, as well as his failures passing by without a person to pat his back or lend their shoulder.

"Alright. I'll come." The way the simple gesture made his entire face light up did not make her feel good. These days she was found guilt becoming a chronic pain— one that bothered constantly but had bouts of intensity.

The Two Faces of Concern

“You can’t go.” He got off the sofa in a fury. “We don’t know what kind of people he associates with. We don’t know what could go wrong.” His brows fluffed up in fury, knitting together impossibly tight.

“I don’t have a choice.” She looked to the floor, confused and angered by his demeanor. “What am I supposed to say when he asks me to go with him for something so important?”

“You say you’ll think about it.” He added with an incredulous fury. “Then you come to me! And I we come up with an excuse for you.” His voice rose higher.

“That’s not going to work.” She needed to pause. After so many years, such constant bouts of anger felt unsettling to her. “You don’t know him. That’s why I’m here. Your boss gave me a task. To keep him close and to keep an ear out. I am doing exactly what I was told to do.”

“You can’t do anything if you’re dead!” He pointed his hand at her, his gesture and tone bordering on accusatory. He paused, taking a step back and swallowing. Jaehyun cursed under his breath, a hand coming to his waist while the other rubbed his face.

He walked a few steps around the room, trying to calm down it seemed, before coming back to her. This time he kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in his. “Listen to me.” He urged. “Look at me, (Y/N).” He practically pleaded. The desperation in his tone was the only reason she turned to face him. “I know that you think you’re safe. I know you believe you know this man because you knew him once. But you don’t know what he’s capable of. What he’s already done.” He sighed, no doubt understanding the stubborn refusal in her.

Jaehyun’s head dropped, looking defeated. “If something happened to you. I would never forgive myself.” He put a hand on her thigh. The way she turned to glare at it made him recoil. “You’re my responsibility.” He spoke after swallowing the hurt from her gesture. “I’m the sole reason you agreed to do this.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” She interjected. She thought the blow would make her feel good about herself. But seeing his face drop only tugged at her now sore chest.

“Why did you agree to go?” He asked, his eyes turning into frigid slits.

“I didn’t think I had a choice.” She repeated herself, each word uttered with a pause to emphasize.

“You always have a choice.” He threw his reciprocating blow with a featherlight tone. Her lips parted from offense, ready to defend herself. But he clarified, “I’ve been watching you. I’ve seen how you change around him.” His accusations cut through her like knives.

“And what change is that, pray tell?” She questioned.

“Your edges soften around him. You let him sway you with his words. You believe his lies despite yourself.” He assessed clinically, like a man whose job it is to read people.

“I feel sorry for him!” Hot tears pricked at the corner of her eyes, “Surely you can at least try to understand how it must feel. And I'm always tiptoeing around him because your boss wants me to keep him happy!" She deflected the accusation, distantly wondering why she was getting so defensive.

“He’s devoted to you.” Jaehyun simply stated, looking away from her with a grimace.

"I know." She spoke around the lump forming in her throat at her own confession. "Which is why your caution is out of line."

"The more the devotion, the more betrayal he will feel eventually, (Y/N). Remember that when you're in a different country with him, out of my reach. When I can't save you if something happens." He cautioned still.

Maybe his words made her feel like a child, something she hated feeling, because her next words were self-admittedly out of line.

"I'm out of your reach every time I'm in his bed too, Jaehyun." The words were no louder than a pin dropping. “He could choked me to death while inside me and you wouldn’t know.”

Jaehyun got up in a huff that left a gust of air in it's wake. He turned away from her swiftly as she tried to push down the part of her that wanted to take the words back.

"When are you leaving?" He questioned, adjusting his clothes and distracting himself.

"Day after." She answered dispassionately.

"The least you can do is keep me updated on your whereabouts. The captain will need a report on it." He was already ready to walk away.

"Sure." Her response was the final task he had, taking long strides and shutting his bedroom door with a loud thud.

She sighed, the solitude allowing her to finally drop each pretense she had to keep up just to survive each day.

Tears were almost commonplace on her lashes now. Angry tears, frustrated tears, heartbroken tears and tears of defeat. But each fresh bout always left her feeling betrayed by her own body.

Home

Coming home was odd. Even from the moment she landed, the airport was very familiar to her. Johnny didn't point out how silent she was ever since they landed. In fact, he seemed deep in his own thoughts while both of them watched the familiar streets pass by.

(Y/N) was so engrossed in her thoughts that it took her a while to realise that that the streets they passed were a little too familiar. When they stopped in front of a building she would recognise anywhere, her heart dropped into her stomach. When she turned to look at Johnny, his smile was a small one. The gleam in his eyes though was unmistakable.

“How?” She questioned, voice barely above a whisper.

“Let’s go home first, I’ll tell you upstairs.” He told her, reaching over to take her hand in his. To go Home.

Walking into her old apartment was like being transported back in time. Everything was as she remembered, including the little trinkets of decoration scattered around the space. The teal vase on the table in front of the foyer, the dark green couch, even the white curtains were all things she had bought herself once upon a time. (Y/N) was speechless.

“When I heard they were auctioning your father’s estate after the trial, I tried not to give it mind.” Johnny spoke after closing the door behind him. “But I ended up looking up the catalogue.” She could hear him come closer, her eyes still busy scanning her old apartment. “When I saw that this apartment was on the list. I couldn’t help myself.” He stopped a few steps behind her.

“How?” Her voice gave away her surprise, “How did you pay for it? Your father was still–” She stopped, unsure of whether that was a line she could tow.

“He didn’t even know about it.” He stated with a razor thin edge to his voice. “I broke my trust fund and managed to buy the place with everything intact.” He continued, sounding so utterly dismissive about it.

“Johnny.” She finally turned to face him, all the building emotions bubbling up her throat.

“This was my home too.” His hands remained in his pocket, eyes on the floor. “In my entire life, this was the place I was the happiest. I wasn’t ready to let that go. Especially when it was one of the rare things I had the power to keep.”

She could understand his feelings even if the gesture overwhelmed her. She remained silent for a moment longer, just looking him over till Johnny shifted under the prolonged scrutiny.

“You’re making me nervous.” His forehead creased. The chuckle that left him was dry.

Good. She thought, now he knew how she felt around him all those years ago.

“Say something.” He added with a smaller voice. "Please."

She took two steps till he was in arm’s reach, clutching at his t-shirt to pull him the rest of the way. Their lips met in a clumsy crash, teeth clashing into teeth. Johnny’s arms snaked around her waist to control the pace.

There was no haste in their movements anymore. Johnny had nothing to prove this time, and she had nowhere to hide. It was a slow kiss that only existed to exist. Like walking around your house in the dark because you know every turn like the back of your hand.

When his hips pressed against hers, she stumbled back with confidence. Letting instinct take over, they moved towards the destination known to them instinctually. She didn’t even realise where she was stumbling to till her back pressed against the piano.

His hands dragged down her back, and she leapt without being told, arms resting on his neck. Gingerly, he sat her down on the polished black surface.

“This is still my favourite place to fuck you.” He whispered against her mouth, peppering kisses over her face as he stroked her dress higher up her thighs.

“Me too.” She answered, tugging his belt off with a quick tug.

“I have waited.” He spoke between his increasingly heavy kisses, “I’ve laboured.” He nipped against her shoulders, “I even prayed.” His tongue swirled over the vein on her neck, bringing short gasps from her. “And I would have done more.” He dragged his teeth over her skin, making the hairs on the back of her neck rise. “I would drag down heaven to earth, if it meant I could have you back here. That’s why I couldn’t let this place go. Because I will never let you go.”

His words left her light-headed, unable to breathe. After tugging his pants below his waist, she sighed with relief when he pulled it off the rest of the way himself. Her hands reached the hem of his shirt just as his index tapped her thigh, a silent request to lift her hips off the piano. The remainder of their clothes hit the floor together, lips crashing together shortly after the interruption.

“Sometimes I think I’ve finally gone crazy. That I wished for you so bad that I created an illusion just to survive.” His laboured breath fanned her neck.

“I told you.” The strain of her breath matched his, “If this was a dream it would be easier.” His fingers brushed over her naked heat, slipping into her slowly.

“No.” He said as her eyes fluttered shut, “I wouldn’t be, (Y/N). I love all of you. Even my illusions would be of who you are, not who you can be.”

“Including the difficult parts?” Her jaw dropped when he began scissoring his fingers.

“Especially those. But you already know that.” He kept up his ministrations till Johnny was satisfied that he’s stretched her out well. "I know you feel the same." There was a fragile hope in his voice.

“I can’t love what I don’t know.” Her heart began hammering, and it had nothing to do with how he brushed over her G-spot. She willed her eyes to look into his, “Tell me your worst.” She requested, eyes meek but voice resolute. Her form faltered when he began to enter her without warning, easing himself in a few inches at a time. “You already know all of mine.” She lied.

“I will. One of these days.” He promised, both of them groaning when he filled her up completely.

She knew his words were a lie. Johnny would never tell her the truth. It wasn't because he didn’t want to, she knew that he craved understanding more than anything else. His claims of seeing her so absolutely came with the desire to want to be seen with the same transparency. But he’d hold the secret to himself because he knew her.

He knew that she would struggle to accept the reality of who he was. Two months ago, he would have been right. These days she felt like this charade was marking itself on her skin.

“Johnny.” She moaned when she felt her gut tie into a knot. “Don’t stop.” She pawed at his chest, unsure whether she wanted to pull him closer or push him away.

“Never.” He promised again, leaving a trail of gentle kisses all over her face as he increased his pace. He watched her intently as her face scrunched up, her jaw going slack as she came crashing down.

She wasn’t sure when he came, but when he pulled out, she felt the warmth ooze out of her. Exhausted from the long trip and everything that followed, her thoughts lost the ability to linger, and she simply leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder, surrendering her weight soon after. He picked her up with ease, lifted her legs to wrap around his waist and guided them to the bedroom that was once hers— that they once shared during a time when the future felt a lot more certain.

She fell asleep in his arms and, for the first time in years, it felt right. She blamed her old apartment and her sleep-addled brain for it. With your eyes closed, it was hard to remember when in time she was.

The next two days were spent locked away. The days were passed between the sheets, caught between the memories of a once-perfect life.

Johnny was lighter here. His eyes were brighter and he was less burdened by his own notions. It felt closest to the Johnny she was once crazy about from afar. It was the Johnny she went to watch at basketball matches in school and then at his University when he graduated before her. She didn't even like basketball.

He even resorted to his old sense of humour. One she had almost not noticed the lack of. Despite all signs pointing to otherwise, (Y/N) always knew Johnny for his intensity. To see him like that all the time now had begun to feel natural to her.

So it surprised her when she seemed to easily match his quips with her own. He was surprised too, she could tell with a dizzying sense of glee. For the first time, their relationship seemed to be on equal footing. Even if the relationship itself was a sham.

"Have you decided what you want to wear to the ceremony?" Johnny questioned over breakfast on the third day.

She shook her head at her omlette, "I figured you'll pick." She shrugged.

Johnny looked pleased when she met his eyes, trying to hide it like he was caught. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to." He stated as he reached for his juice.

"Why not?" She frowned, "You always pick outfits for these things."

"That's exactly why I wasn't sure."

She felt ambushed by the remark, not sure why he sounded so aggrieved. Not wanting to ruin a good week they had been having, she acted like she didn't notice.

"One less thing to worry about." She tried to keep her her tone light, brushing it off with a shrug.

She ended up joining him on a quick errand run in the afternoon. He promised to quickly drop something off at the office before taking her to buy something. Having nothing better to do, she agreed.

When she walked into Johnny's office, she was aware that people watched as they walked by. Despite only coming into the building a handful of times her entire life, it was understandable that they knew who she was. The lingering whispers told her that they probably knew what she had once done too, or what her father did. It was like the moment she left the safety of seclusion, she was reminded once again how stifling this world could be.

(Y/N) stood in the changing room, running her hands over the fitted bust of the dress on her. She tried to picture herself, standing beside Johnny on an occasion where he was the guest of honour. All eyes on him, and as a consequence on her. Her hand turned over, knuckles digging into the beading on the corset. Did she look like she deserved to stand beside a man like that?

The last thought soured in her mind the very next second, a burdensome idea that pulled out the rotting creature inside her— the creature of habit. She walked out to look for the attendant to unzip her, only to find that Johnny had returned from browsing the shop. He looked up when he heard the curtains draw open, his attention seizing immediately.

"You look beautiful." He told her, eyes dragging over her entire form before coming back to her eyes and making her cheeks heat up.

"I don't like it too much." She looked away from him, busying herself with scanning the rack of clothes she had picked for fun. All in an attempt to avoid second guessing herself in the face of his compliment.

"I picked something for you." She didn't know when he had moved so close, gasping when his breath hit the back of her neck.

Her fingers stilled on a dress she thought would flatter her, a dress she could actually like. "Show me." She asked softly.

She ended up picking the dress Johnny picked. Looking in the mirror, it felt like the dress that most suited the intention she was going for. Most importantly, Johnny looked happy when they left the boutique.

He was still grinning when they got into the car. He turned to her with the kind of sparkle in his eyes that still never failed to make her heart skip a small beat. She blamed this on the fact that those sparkles were now rare.

“I just have one last thing to do and then we can go home. Do you want to get dinner before that or do you want to eat at home?” He reached over to take her hand in his.

“Let’s just eat out. I don’t want you to go back and cook, that’s too exhausting.”

“I don’t mind.” He shrugged.

“Yeah but I do.” She laughed, “I want you to myself after we get home.” She looked away from him with a coy smile. Laughing when Johnny leaned closer as she predicted.

“You know how to convince a man, (Y/N).” He teased her.

“I know how to convince you.” Her eyes rolled back as his lips pressed against her neck, lips parting when he hummed.

“Of course you do. I am a lucky man, after all." He placed a kiss on her neck, lingering long enough to elicit a reaction from her.

The driver stopped, silently signalling their arrival. (Y/N) looked out the window, confused about what she saw.

“A jewellery store? Should I be worried?” She only partially joked, swallowing her folly when he gave her a half-hearted smile in response.

"Rin is getting married next month. I wanted to get her something nice."

“Oh,” was all she could manage in response. "But she's so young." She mumbled, picturing the small girl that followed Johnny around.

He laughed, his cheeks stretching into the whiskers she hadn’t seen in years till that moment. "She's younger than us for sure." He reached out, taking her hands into hers. "But old enough to start her own family, I guess." He squeezed her knuckles once before giving a tug. "Let's go?"

"Oh, I-" She looked out of the window beside her, "What will I do?" She said awkwardly.

"Give your fashionable opinion on what to get." He shrugged avoiding her gaze, opening the door on his side to the curb.

(Y/N) felt confused by the change in his demeanour but nodded with a smile, following him out of the vehicle. Johnny took her hand in his, squeezing it once again.

“You look so beautiful today.” He gave her a tight lipped smile, not really looking at her before saying it.

Her brows knit together, wondering why he was acting strange. The question was bubbling up to her lips as they walked into the store. And then a sound made her turn to look.

“Johnny!” Rin squealed with a wide grin. The next moment her eyes fell on (Y/N). Her smile flipped instantly, gaze steeling over. Johnny squeezed her hand again.

“Have you picked anything yet?” He asked back, trying to hide the strain in his voice with a breezy laugh.

Rin didn’t speak, she didn’t move. All she did was stare at (Y/N), eyes full of suspicion and disgust. (Y/N) pictured the Rin she remembered, with the wide and kind smile that both her and Johnny got from their mothers.

(Y/N) wished the ground would swallow her, or a strong wind would sweep her away.

“What is she doing here?” Another voice chimed in, Rin’s mother. (Y/N) squeezed Johnny’s hand, he didn’t reciprocate.

Rin’s eyes caught the moment, falling to their joined palms. “They’re back together.” She said in tandem with her realisation, turning back to face her mother. A silent conversation passed between them where (Y/N) only caught the look on the mother’s face. More distrust, even more disgust.

Johnny’s aunt never liked (Y/N). Her family was a newcomer in their circle, moving into town after her grandfather sold their ancestral property to his government. (Y/N)’s family was older than theirs, and they were richer than Rin’s father.

(Y/N) and her father were born in this city. But to Rin’s mother and those like her, (Y/N) was always going to be just one thing. A foreigner.

“Yes we are.” Johnny spoke up after several moments, his voice small. He tugged at her hand lightly, making her realise that (Y/N) had shifted to hide behind him. “You know how much Rin loved to dress up in (Y/N)’s clothes. That’s why she wanted to help pick my gift.”

(Y/N)’s ears rang so loud that she didn’t hear their response or what Johnny said in return. She slipped out of the present moment, wrapping herself in her mind and hiding in its comfort. Rin used to love dressing up in (Y/N)’s clothes because she was a teenager whose parents dressed her like a toddler. Rin used to look upto (Y/N) because she was her favourite cousin’s favourite person. And now she was the one who ruined her favourite cousin’s soul.

A hot shiver racked up her chest that felt like a sob and (Y/N) crushed it between her newly manicured nails. Johnny tugged her forward and she followed without resistance, not even thinking of the action. Unlike them, she would not be allowed to show her own betrayal so blatantly.

“What do you think about this?” Johnny’s voice snapped her back to reality, bringing her focus to his hands. He held a necklace littered with diamonds, sparkling so hard that she had to squint.

“Feels too much.” She spoke before she could think. When Rin’s mother shot her a look, (Y/N) bit her tongue.

“I think we should get something smaller.” Rin chimed in, tone clipped.

“No that isn’t what I meant.” (Y/N) tried to say, but Johnny frowned and she realised that her thoughtless words had done something to offend them all. So she just exhaled, “I think Rin’s opinion is what should matter, Johnny. She should pick.” She squeezed Johnny’s arm and gave the women the best smile she could manage.

(Y/N) took a step back, deciding that was the best course of action. This wasn’t her world anymore, she tried to remind herself. What these people thought about her didn’t matter anymore.

That is what she repeated to herself over and over as she found a chair to sit on, trying her best to stay out of anybody’s way. Away was where she had intended to stay till Johnny was done. After the rush of immediate injustice subsided, she wondered if she was being unfair. Rin was Johnny's cousin in name. In practice, she was the closest thing he had to a little sister. They grew up side by side and he had always adored her. When his mother died, Rin lost her aunt as well. They shared that loss.

Rin was family and she loved her brother. (Y/N) just wished that Johnny didn’t bring her here. No matter his intention, he must have known that this would be uncomfortable for everyone. (Y/N) took a deep breath, tearing her gaze away from the happy smiles the three shared. She reminded herself again that this wasn’t her world anymore.

In an effort to distract herself, (Y/N) scanned through the pieces of jewellery in the glass cases around her. She got up to look around, browsing to picture what the owner of each piece would be like.

She saw a blue sapphire tiara that would belong to an oil heiress, a 25 carat topaz cocktail ring that looked like it was bought by a widow who inherited a barony, and a macau brooch that looked like it belonged to the mistress of a dictator. Each piece stood out with an inherent personality and she was almost lost in their worlds during her brief lingering study.

She stopped in front of a bracelet of ruby. The individual stoned were laid in so seamlessly that it looked like one dazzling sheet of the vibrant stone. Only on close inspection could you see the hexagon cut stones with an occasional deep green emerald and clear diamond tucked in between the sea of red. The bracelet looked like it was seeped in blood because of the deep hue of the rubies. (Y/N) concluded that this would belong to someone who had blood on their hands, the sparkling diamonds distracting from the ocean of red.

“Do you like it?” Johnny spoke and she jumped. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she had been sneaked up upon. Jaehyun would be pissed if he saw how badly she had let her guard down today.

“Not at all.” She said, turning away from the display to turn to him.

“It’s exactly your taste.” Johnny countered, brows furrowing in that signature confusing way. Where one couldn’t tell if he was concerned or furious.

“I wasn’t aware that you knew my tastes better than me.” She dismissed his words, walking away to find more temporary lives to live between shiny stones.

“Of course I do. It is the buyers burden to pick the right gift.” He smirked.

“You don’t need to buy anything so don’t burden yourself.” She shrugged.

“It would look beautiful on you. It looks like it was made for you.” He insisted, “Let me get it. I want to see you wear it.” He raised his hand to call for an attendant. She grabbed his wrist immediately but the action did exactly what she feared. Along with the attendant, Rin and her mother turned to them.

“Could you please show me this set?” Johnny asked.

“Set? Johnny wh-” She tugged at his sleeve but he clicked his tongue. “Please, you’re here to buy your sister a wedding present. Don’t do this, it looks bad. What will they think, Johnny? They already hate me.” She whispered and hissed but he was undeterred.

“They don’t hate you. They just think they still have to pick sides.” He said with excruciating naivety. “Besides, it’s my money. I will do what I want with it.”

The attendant walked up to the case and she had no choice but to let it go.

“A beautiful choice, Sir. They say a high quality ruby is rarer than a diamond. Each stone is individually sourced from around the world to have the same pigeon’s blood hue.” He spoke to them while being loud enough to be heard by Rin, assuming she was the one he had to convince.

“Rubies don’t really suit Rin.” Her mother laughed from across the room. “Plus I don’t think red would be appropriate for the wedding.”

“It’s for (Y/N). Johnny said without turning to them. But (Y/N) was looking and she saw the women’s face. If she believed that Ruby wasn’t an appropriate choice before, she now wanted it nonetheless.

“Look.” Johnny whispered close to her ear, “It’s perfect.” He was loud enough for just them.

(Y/N) turned at his words, failing to catch her gasp in her throat. It truly was a beautiful set. The bracelet, as beautiful as it was, seemed to be a puzzle piece of a larger masterpiece. The necklace was a mofit of ruby flowers with only a few of them having equally splendid emerald leaves. The earrings too were beautifully set scarlet rubies with joints of diamonds. The whole set that diamonds on the joints but it did truly fill like an afterthought, a blank canvas to highlight the rubies the same way the emeralds conntrasted them. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and she hated the fact. She hated that she wanted it despite herself.

“I love it.” Her voice wavered. It was the truth but she wanted him to think it was a lie. She wanted him to think she didn’t want it, but also hoped that he knew how much she appreciated it. Her head hurt.

“Wear it for me when we go home. Just this.” He had the gall to ask.

She decided it best to respond to him in fear of what she’d let slip. Hopefully, Johnny would get the hint.

She stayed by Johnny’s side till Rin had successfully picked her choice. They didn’t acknowledge each other but Johnny slipped his arm around her waist. If Johnny thought that a few stones would make her forget what he did today, he truly must have started believing that she was a figment of his imagination.

The necklace Rin had picked for herself was beautiful, a string of dazzling transparent diamonds with the occasional pink stone that made it look whimsical. But (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice how Rin’s mother kept eyeing the closed lid on the ruby set.

“If the box is that beautiful, the thing itself must be a treat.” She commented.

“It is.” Johnny grinned, opening the box to show it.

Both of their lips pursed on seeing the set. (Y/N) bit her lip harshly, only feeling the storm inside her growing. Rin looked away with a shake of her head, turning back to her own gift with a gentle smile.

“Johnny you should come for my party! It’s in an hour anyway.” Rin beamed, clearly happy.

“Sure.” Johnny shrugged, “We would love to come.”

All three women turned to Johnny but he looked like he did not notice. (Y/N) bit her tongue, hoping that his aunt would chime in again. But she did not.

“Sure.” Rin spoke after the excruciating silence, “See you there.”

“She doesn’t even want me there!” (Y/N) tried to explain, struggling to keep her voice levelled lest he accuse her of overreacting.

“If she didn’t, why would she ask you to come, (Y/N)?” Johnny spoke to his laptop, having it on his lap since they got back into the car with the excuse of pending work. In truth he was doing his best to avoid her justified fury.

“She didn’t! You made us a package deal.” She huffed, fist clenching in her lap, creasing her dress.

“We are a package deal.” Johnny looked up at her, frowning. “That’s what it means to be in a relationship, does it not?”

Her first clenched tighter, “That isn’t the point, but you don’t care so why bother?” She was so livid that a defeated laugh slipped past her lips. “Just go without me. No one will want me there, this is unnecessary.”

“They will suck it up then. You are my girlfriend, if someone has a problem with that then they will have to tell us both to leave.”

“I don’t want to go either, Johnny.” She took both his hands into hers, trying to make him look at her. She pleaded with him now, desperate to be released from this. “You will make this uncomfortable for everyone, including Rin.” She tried to use his precious cousin to make her point.

To her relief, it looked like he was considering it for a moment, grinding his teeth together as his eyes remained still on her.

“I’ve already said we’re going. We can’t cancel.” He stated plainly, taking his hands out of hers.

She laughed again, the same furious laugh of utter disbelief and even more betrayal. She was the fool to believe his claims of having changed.

Sins of the Past

The party was worse than she imagined. (Y/N) told herself she had tried. She had tried to smile and she had tried to ignore the looks and whispers. She even tried to ignore that her cousin, Isabella was there; ignore when she brought up specific moments that were an attempt to embarrass her.

She ignored it all because these people were Johnny’s family and friends and she owed him this much. So she tried to keep herself scarce and waited for the moment it would be appropriate to ask him to leave. She had also decided to just not bring today up after it was over. There was no point anyway.

This is how she had lulled herself in her own mind, monitoring the windows for the sunset.

“(Y/N) you haven’t said a word all evening.” A voice chimed up, one of Johnny’s friends from university.

(Y/N) turned, ready with her excuse of being tired.

“That’s her seventh glass, after all.” Her cousin chimed in, biting her lip like she somehow hadn’t been waiting all evening to bring it up.

(Y/N) felt her resolve snap, “I’ve just never been the type to invite myself to conversations I’m not a part of.” Only as she reached halfway through her sentence did sense catch on.

“And yet you’re here.” Her cousin scoffed, ignoring the shove the person beside her gave her.

She let the words crash over her, trying her best to brush it off. Yet, despite those words, it was a silence that rang louder. Johnny’s silence.

“At least I was invited out of love and not obligation.” She shot back, letting her day’s indignation ferment into the venom that dripped from her tongue.

“Ironic because that love is also an obligation. You would know if you had the capacity for either.”

“How would you know what love is?” She asked, genuinely curious.

Her cousin laughed, “Truly, I would never understand your idea of love. At least you got a pretty necklace out of it though.” She raised her glass to (Y/N), “My mother did always say that you were as oppurtunistic as your mother.”

“Don’t talk about my mother. You don’t want me to speak.” (Y/N)’s voice came out so low that she surprised herself. Her whole body shook from the impossible weight of her anger.

More silence. This time she turned to Johnny. A part of her hoped that if he wouldn’t defend her, then he would at least walk out. But Johnny only sat in the sofa across the room, eyes on the floor and furrowed in it’s signature unreadable way.

(Y/N) turned back to the bar she was sitting against, reaching over to pull the closest bottle towards her. “Eight is my lucky number.” She said loud enough for both Johnny and her cousin to hear. Once full to her heart’s content, she picked up her glass along with the leftover pieces of her dignity and held both tightly in her fist. Before she could tilt her glass to her lips, a hand landed on hers.

“No more, (Y/N).” Johnny warned, voice wavering with anger. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“What are you angry about?” She asked, laughing again as she said the words out loud, finding the situation ridiculous. Still she realised that she said it louder than intended, probably sounding like the drunk she was painted to be.

“Just put the glass down, (Y/N).” He told her, despite having a death grip on her wrist that controlled all her movement.

“You’re causing a scene, Johnny.” She said the words that Johnny has used on her cyclically before.

“Get up.” He wasn’t asking. She listened because she didn’t want to drag on the public spectacle. As Johnny dragged her across the room, she couldn’t help glance at her cousin. Her eyes were on Johnny’s hand on her arm and (Y/N) bottled the small victory up.

“Let me go.” She said when she realised that he wasn’t walking towards the door, “I just want to go home.”

“First we need to apologise to Rin.” He spoke with his jaw set tight, like she was to be blamed. She couldn’t even tell if she was, not with everyone staring at her the way they did. She hated this place with every fibre of her being.

Johnny stopped in front of Rin, letting out a trembling sigh that held back all of his anger. “I’m sorry for all of this.” Johnny said so sincerely that (Y/N) wanted to scream. He was apologising on her behalf and she had nothing to be apologetic for.

“I don’t understand why you try so hard with her?” Rin spoke like (Y/N) wasn’t standing right in front of her. “She ruined you from the inside out and you just fell for the same lies again. The only thing that’s changed since the last time is that she can’t fall back on her father. Or his money.” Rin hissed, the words dragging down (Y/N)’s back like nails on a chalkboard.

As calmly as she could, (Y/N) pulled her arm out of Johnny’s. She knew that leaving wasn’t going to help because Johnny would follow her and blame her for it. So instead she turned to the open balcony behind Rin, walking in and closing the door behind her.

She stood there, the wind whistling in her ear like it was wincing at her circumstance. She had given up trying to wipe her tears away because it only made her skin sting. She stood there and told herself that, if nothing else, she was at least sure she had made the right decision all those years ago.

"Come back inside." His order announced his arrival after a very long time. (Y/N) wiped her eyes, lowering her chin so her hair would hide her face. She didn't dignify the words with an answer, continuing to look out at the city below her.

"(Y/N)." He warned, "Everybody will wonder where you are."

"No they won't." Her jaw slid over the other, teeth grinding down. "They know why I am not inside. So just go back to your party, Johnny. Otherwise they'll wonder where you are."

He sighed, a sound of rustling following that was clearly him running his hands through his hair. "Look I'm sure she didn't mean to sound so–"

"Hostile?" She turned, tongue and gaze both sharp as a knife. "What else did she intend to sound like when she called me an opportunistic slut? A fucking gold digger?"

"She didn't say that." He put his hands into his pockets.

(Y/N) gave him an incredulous face, his dismissal stinging more than anything anybody inside was capable of.

"Go inside, John. I don't want to fight with you right now. They'll blame me for your bad mood."

"God damn it!" Johnny kicked something, the sound of shattering following after. She turned with wide eyes to see a flower pot lying in pieces on the floor on a pile of soil. "I just wanted one good day. Just a relaxed day where I can spend time with what remains of my family and the woman I love. Why are you doing this?"

"I am not." She looked up at him, words interrupted by a belligerent breath. "What have I done?" She asked, confused and hurt. "My cousin said so many things. I just listened. You said nothing in my defense and I still just stood there, I took it all. Even when Rin said those things. I just stood there. What else do you want me to do?"

"Just come inside."

"I don't want to! Why do I have to go back? So they can whisper as I walk by again? So they can pat themselves on the back after they confirm that I have no shame? No sense of self respect?” She took a step closer as Johnny stumbled back, “You told me to come back to this city with you. You promised me that it would just be the award. You broke that promise. Then you told me to help you buy something for your cousin I agreed. You didn't tell me they would be there too. You sabotaged me and I stayed silent. You said yes to this and I did not protest. Your cousin said whatever she wished. You did not defend me and I still did not so much as make a sound. You failed me and you didn’t bother protecting me, the women you love. What more do you want from me?” She questioned, tears blurring her vision.

She furiously wiped at her face, the back of her hand dragging the skin till her face felt raw again.

“You’re hurting yourself.” He said gently. It grated her more than anything so far. What good was his concern now?

"Why didn't you defend me?" She cut him off. "You keep talking about what this means to you." She pointed between them. "So what? You will drag down heaven to earth for me but you can't stand up for me?" She pointed out what he said to her.

Johnny furrowed his brows, "What was I supposed to say?"

"You were supposed to tell her to shut up! You were supposed to remind her that I am the person who you claim to love. You were supposed to say that you wanted me back. The least you could have done was said you wanted me here, Johnny. You should have said something.” She groaned, turning away from him. The reiteration of the betrayal brought a fresh assault of tears. She felt so weak and vulnerable begging in front of him. And Johnny looked bemused.

"So what?” Johnny said calmly,” You don't want to be together?"

“Don't twist my words.” She warned him.

"Twist?" Johnny's brows creased, "It's what you just said!" He shoved his hand in the space between them, raising his voice.

"You’re shouting. Don't start a fight." She stepped back from him, feeling like she was being cornered into this confrontation.

"I'm not the one trying to start a fight." He countered.

"All I did was step out of a room where I am not wanted. To let out the tears I could not inside. I didn’t leave because I know you want to meet your friends and family, so I am here and I just want to be left along."

"You left because it shows everyone inside how wrapped around your finger I am. Because you know I would follow you in here immediately." Johnny crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at her over his nose.

"Excuse me?” She said so loudly that a pigeon on the balcony across rushed to take flight. "First your cousin assumes she knows what I'm thinking, now you do the same. Does manipulation run in the family?"

"I don't understand how you can be so mad when she's right.” Johnny’s voice turned cold, his eyes cruel, “They're all justified, you know? You did do the things she said. You did ruin me from inside out."

"Then why are we here?" She screamed, her resolve slipping. She grabbed it before it disappeared completely, bringing her voice back down. "If your family are still angry about what happened, if you’re angry, then what are we doing? And before you say anything." She raised her hand to stop him from interrupting. "You are allowed to be as angry as you want. I hurt you so much and I understand that you can’t just forget that. I deserve your anger. What I don’t deserve is you treating me like this. And you don’t deserve to be with someone who makes you so miserable. If you're this angry then you simply cannot love me.”

"Now you're the one reading my mind." He spoke, immediately recoiling into his indignation.

“Don’t deflect!” She snapped. “You're lying to yourself if you think you do. Because that amount of hostility borders on disgust. You hate me so much that you will stand aside while someone insults me like that. For something you did, Johnny!" Her eyes welled up again and she had to turn away.

(Y/N) hated that after a certain threshold, her anger always gave way to tears. She hated it because, on more than one occasion, Johnny had accused her of using her tears to win arguments. She hated the accusation because she had never intended to win any arguments with him, she knew it was impossible. All she wanted was to explain her side of it.

“What did I do?” Johnny frowned, taking a step closer to invade her personal space.

“Why didn’t you tell them that you got the jewllery yourself? Did I ask you for it? Why didn’t you tell them that I told you I didn’t want it? Why didn’t you tell them what you told me?” She shoved him away, discomfitted by being this close to his overbearing presence. Johnny had the dreadful habit of towering close to her during arguments.

After a long moment of saying nothing, of just staring her down, Johnny sighed. “I just don’t want us to fight.” He came closer to her in an attempt to touch her.

His words made her see red in a way that felt dangerous. She shoved him again, harder than she expected. He must not have expected it either, because surprise filled his eyes as he lost his balance. There was an unmistakable sound of flower pots shattering, but (Y/N) was already shoving the balcony door open. She froze, turning to look back at him.

"Are you hurt?" She stepped towards him. But Johnny stood up immediately and walked around her, talking quick strides towards the door without once looking back.

She burned from head to toe, a mix of anger and mortification. He left before her, leaving her to walk out by herself. With a hesitant gait, she walked across the now crowded foyer. They all looked away, pretending they hadn’t witnessed the quarrel from the other side of the glass doors. But the side glances confirmed her suspicions. They blamed her. They saw her outburst, and saw her push him to the ground. What they didn’t hear was the actual words. But she doubted that would make a difference.

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simmingwithabs · 2 months

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day one: neo soul/boho

day two: black panther

day three: 70s

day five: afro futuristic

day six: hoochie mama

day seven: grunge

day eight: 00s

day nine: dark academia

day ten: streetwear

day eleven: bougie

day twelve: vixen

day thirteen: alternative

day fourteen: anything (I picked haute couture)

day fifteen: black sitcom (miss Hilary Banks from Prince of Bel Air)

day sixteen: 90s (inspired by Nia Long)

day seventeen: coquette

day eighteen: royal

day nineteen: city girl

day twenty: old hollywood

day twenty-two: black icon (Rihanna at the iHeartRadio Awards 2015)

day twenty three: church

day twenty-four: model

day twenty-five: carnival

day twenty seven: old money

day twenty-eight: cottagecore

day twenty-nine: preppy

hello everyone, this is my very, very late BHM CAS challenge post. it took me all of a week and half to complete this with Sims nightmare - ish updates and my game constantly crashing leading me to redo most of the outfits, which was very much a big struggle.

I'd like to give credit to @tetesimsT and @sisisimss for starting this challenge, giving us the chance to shine during a month dedicated to black excellence.

thank you to creators such as @serenity-cc, @sentate, @dreamgirl, @jius-sims, @sheabuttyr, @arethabee, @aharris00britney, @simstrouble, @gorillax3-cc, @seoulsoul-sims, @greenllamas, @charonlee, @christopher067 and many more for their incredible work with their beautiful custom content.!

also would like to thank @helgatisha for the in cas poses, I love them!

love to send a shout out to my friends @simmervlogs, @victoriaplays, for all the love and support. I appreciate you guys so much.

#bhm cas challenge #bhmcas #black simblr #black simmer #black sims #black sims 4 #cas challenge #sims 4 #my sims #sims 4 screenshots #sims 4 cc #simblr #sims 4 aesthetic #the sims #ts4 #sims4cas

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neo-percs · 5 months

Text

I’M LIKE A MOTH, THIS IS NOT A GAME

meimei, nineteen & any pronouns. mark lee's lover. lesbian girl who’s in love with all my favorite kpop men. ꒰ ྀིold acc robyn-core ꒱ྀི

masterlists rules archived

mature content - sfw & nsfw. -15, ageless blogs + blank blog do not interact ꒱ྀིა . ｡˓ ❤︎ ˖ ݁ 🎞️ ৎ

pass it — nsfw ⪩ ⪨ mark ❤︎ body party — nsfw ⪩ ⪨ jaehyun

BUT BEFORE WE START, WUSYANAME?

watching ... gilmore girls on netflix.

listening to… dogtooth by tyler the creator

NEO-PERCS & no plagiarising or reposting my works and no excessive spam liking.

#𖦹—( neo percs )

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bestworstcase · 4 months

Note

Why didn't Salem recognize Yang as Summers daughter? Summers, not Yangs bio-mom, so Yang doesn't physically look like her. But there's no reason that Summer couldn't just show Salem a picture of Yang and say, "That's my other daughter." Even if Summer didn't have any pictures to show, she could have pointed Yang out during vol.3 while she was on camera.

I don't think Summer approved of Yang being framed by Emerald or of her being maimed by Adam(assuming that Summer knows it's him who did it).

But this begs the question of why wouldn't Summer tell Salem? Salem doesn't know that Raven is the spring maiden, so she shouldn't know that there's a possibility of Yang being next in line for the powers. But even if Salem knew about Raven, Summer withholding the fact that Yang's her daughter doesn't do anything to protect Yang.

(Or Summer doesn't consider Yang her daughter/doesn't value her as much as she does Ruby, which is a whole other can of worms that i don't think is the case).

well, when the story begins it's been twelve years since the last time summer either of her daughters and, having faked her own death, summer wouldn't have access to more recent photos necessarily. add to this that evernight—being hidden away in the recesses of an uninhabited continent—obviously wouldn't have been hooked into the CCTS even before the fall of beacon knocked out global communications.

summer could have described what yang looked like, sure, but no one is going to immediately recognize a nineteen year old on the basis of a verbal description of what she looked like when she was five, you know?

during V3, summer was probably on the ground at beacon academy (she's the only one of salem's circle with a motive to leave ruby alive when she pulled a grievously injured cinder off the tower) while salem remained at evernight; at this point she might have received reports from summer that both ruby and yang were enrolled at the school, but those would have again been verbal, over seer, because evernight is too far from the CCTS for summer to be transmitting video or pictures.

and after beacon falls, summer remains on campus while cinder et al return to evernight. at that point, salem would certainly know that ruby's glare injured cinder, seems to have been informed when ruby left home months later, and she might also have heard from summer that yang lost an arm and is still safe at home in patch.

<- that accounts for the disparity between salem's overt insistence on leaving ruby alive versus never mentioning yang at all; ruby was the one who hurt cinder (thus the one cinder had a motive to harm), and ruby was the one gallivanting across anima with only a few classmates and her alcoholic uncle to protect her. depending on how closely summer has actually been able to monitor what's going on in the xiao long cabin, there might be a significant gap between yang leaving and summer being able to confirm that yang has left or why. it's not like she can sit around spying on the cabin all the time—she has the academy to hold and a vault to find.

basically, the answer is fog of war. salem doesn't even know who neopolitan is when cinder brings her home in V8—and neo was one of the key infiltrators responsible for bringing beacon to its knees!

i do think there's a possibility that cinder targeted yang in the tournament specifically because yang is summer's daughter (<- nest parasitism), but from summer's point of view… like, getting yang disqualified and kicked out of the tournament isn't the worst thing in the world? because it means yang definitely will not be in the arena when the grimm hit it, and depending on how severe the disciplinary action is she might be removed from the campus altogether. it's unpleasant but there you go.

and then adam was one of cinder's pawns, not someone who answered to salem or summer, and "the rogue white fang lieutenant cinder recruited is the vindictive ex of summer's daughter's teammate and he decides to dismember summer's daughter to emotionally torture the teammate" is frankly not a scenario that anyone in salem's circle could have predicted, not is it something that summer could reasonably fault salem for. cutting off yang's arm wasn't exactly part of the plan.

i do, however, think that salem suspected that this girl was probably summer's other daughter—about the right age, blonde, violet eyes, and she's the girl who rushed to ruby's side when salem "your mother"-ed ruby yesterday. she might not have known for sure, but… this:

is an extraordinarily calm reaction to yang's deliberately provocative "all this endless death, just because something bad happened to you once upon a time?!" and if salem had even the faintest shred of suspicion that this girl is summer's eldest then that's all the more incentive to sharply rein in her temper. "and who is it i've taken from you, girl?" is a sly way of getting yang to identify herself.

sidebar. i also don't think summer knew that raven is the spring maiden—i think she fled from that confrontation before gretchen died and guessed that the power would have gone to someone unknown (remember how qrow specifically throws in "unless it's a dude" when they're explaining how the powers are transferred? remember how gretchen had a twin brother? assuming that her last thoughts would have been of hazel isn't a huge leap), hence why salem's people are also trying to find the spring maiden and hence why cinder doesn't walk into that camp forewarned that raven is the actual maiden. fog of war!

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regallibellbright · 1 year

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"Equipment stats tied to clothes are an in-universe thing that characters are at least loosely aware of, even if they don't understand it mechanically the way we do" is the TWEWY headcanon I will die for because you can get SO MUCH out of it. Like, for humor, if you want to treat any given character as actually dressing in the completely uncoordinated equipment you've put them in for stats, it's very easy to do it with "yeah, they know these clothes make them stronger somehow and they decided to put that above 'not looking ridiculous'." Fun as hell. But it's also really interesting when you think about it with Shiki, especially in the context of Neo and Gatto Nero as the replacement brand for Gatito.

Gatto Nero is a really interesting brand mechanically for two reasons. The first, obvious one is how it's the mechanical successor to Gatito, not just filling the same zodiac role - both brands’ pins come exclusively in sets. Gatito's the only brand that uses sets in the original DS version, along with the unbranded Crimson Kingdoms set added in Final Remix. In Neo, quite a few other brands make two-pin sets, but the only bigger ensembles are the Unbranded Stop and Go ensemble and Gatto Nero's Year-round and Black Cat sets. This is something we can just assume characters know and understand by default - pins are special, pin sets are super strong and good.

The second is less obvious: Gatto Nero has a LOT of items that have character-specific abilities, relative to the other brands. There are obvious reasons why Shoka and Neku both have items there (and Rindo and Minamimoto both have aesthetics that fit well with the brand,) but it's still interesting. Adding up all of Gatto Nero's items, eight out of nineteen are character-specific, or about 42%. The second is Hog Fang, with seven out of twenty three items, and third is Monocrow with five of seventeen, both just under a third. Other brands have three, maybe four character-specific items. It suggests Gatto Nero’s a brand where the people who like it LOVE it, and connect hard to specific pieces in particular. (Just look at Shoka’s love of her hoodie.)

So. Taking my headcanon that the characters know clothes have power, I don't think they'd recognize it the same way the players do, with numbers and stats and knowing various status effects. But they could in-universe notice something like HP Drain, and they might recognize "oh I never get stunned when I'm wearing this," or "this feels like attacks hurt less," or "it seems easier to sync in this for whatever reason." I also think they'd notice when something they like seems to work better on them than their Partner, especially when Neku played for three weeks with three different people and could compare.

In other words, the aspiring fashion designer could realize that clothes that people LOVE, things they connect to specifically and deeply, would be particularly valuable in the UG. And I can’t imagine Shiki wouldn’t keep that knowledge in mind while designing once she gets back, and try to impress that knowledge on Eri, because “the thing I love and want to do with my life is psychically vital to people fighting to come back to life in a purgatorial death game” is uh. Probably the most validating thing one could ever learn about their chosen vocation. This is something she’d probably be thinking about no matter what.

And then A New Day happens. For most of the time between games, one of Shiki’s most important people is missing, and they have no idea where Neku is beyond "probably the UG." But maybe she can still help him, if her clothes can get his way. Maybe, if she tries to make pins that are especially useful to him, he’ll find them. (This also gives an easy way for Shiki and Joshua to know each other come Neo if you like that headcanon - Shiki doesn't have any special knowledge of pins, Joshua as Composer has to know at least a few things about how they work. Cue grudging alliance-turned-eventual-friendship as Shiki grits her teeth and asks him for help for Neku's sake.)

There's just SO MUCH room to play with the game's equipment system being something that characters know about and try to work with in-universe, especially with Shiki.

#long post #twewy #ntwewy #ntwewy spoilers #shiki misaki

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all-or-nothing-baby · 1 year

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ANGÉLIQUE

Nabrielise, 1668 words, Polyamory, Implied/Referenced Childhood Sexual Abuse, Gabriel Boutin has PTSD, Flashbacks, Gabriel Boutin Needs A Hug, Gabriel is In Love, Kissing It Better, Post-Season/Series 01, Getting Together, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Pre-slash, References to Drugs, POV Gabriel.

Cyan fingers play ghostly along bright, beautifully brown collarbone mountains.

Un amour entaché.

Tainted Love, indeed.

Gabriel's face remains a book of blank pages, his default setting—a trillion miles away from the bloody battles that are raging constantly between his mind and his heart.

He's always been one to play defence. Especially with himself.

Only nineteen and already a ghost.

…well, almost.

Darkwave trance music pumps softly from somebody's bluetooth speaker—much softer than the current thump of Gabriel's industrial techno heartbeat. Nathan, the reason, now pushes upwards from where long forearms support his longer body, those big plush lips halting a mere millimetre away from Gabriel's. Gabriel stills his touch, forever-bleu fingertips buried in a perfect clavicle valley. He watches the boy's pulse ticking away under that smooth brown skin for a moment longer before allowing their eyes to meet—and do so much more than just shake hands.

Stay.

"What's this song called? Do you know it?" Nathan's mouth moves against Gabriel's as he speaks, then he's nodding his head in question towards the sounds of pulsating synth beats and low-sung neo-goth French words unknown to him.

Stay with me.

Gabriel swallows his urgency if not his want and licks his—and consequently Nathan's—lips, before taking a breath and answering, "Angélique," on the exhale.

Nathan peers out from underneath feathery raven lashes.

Stay, always.

Gabriel has become a walking/talking contradiction of himself.

Nathan's eyes flicker shut for a couple of his own now-also-racing heartbeats. Gabriel usually manages to tune out the sounds of others' life-force, or at least turn down the volume—never Nathan's though.

Or Annalise's, come to think of it.

(read under the cut OR READ IT HERE ON AO3)

That thought digs beneath Gabriel's skin and makes a nest there, staining him just like his bloodborne alchemy. Marking him up. Tattooing him.

~Nathan&Annalise~

Nathan gently brushes just the very tip of his nose alongside the length of Gabriel's. Up and down, up and down. "So, does that mean, like…" and he mirrors now, licking his and Gabriel's lips, "...Angelic, or some shit?"

Or some shit.

Gabriel pants out three, barely there Yeses. One for each of them.

Gabriel, Nathan, Annalise.

Nathan smiles. "Like you. You're my guardian angel," he insists. "Mine and Annalise's."

Fallen angel, more like.

Stupidly, Gabriel lets himself be just that entirely fucking perfect for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Blinks and believes.

My darling angel, Gabriel.

Gabriel grits his teeth at the sudden mental intrusion. She can just fuck right off and out of his head, merci beaucoup.

He then swallows thickly again. "No, Nathan." And he's so desperate to Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

He won't be the one to instigate though. Can't ever do that. Can't ever be that.

"You mustn't—don't think of me that way, mon cher. I'm not so… good."

Nathan fusses his gaze over every single one of Gabriel's features, with no rush to the action. Searches for a lie. He doesn't find one. He doesn't relent either, though, and now gifts Gabriel with, "You won't convince me you're anything other than a decent bloke, you know."

"Decent?" Gabriel scoffs, deflecting by looking down at his state of undress, "Dans mes sous-vêtements." Nathan's face scrunches up adorably. Gabriel sighs affectionately and smiles wryly. "I am wearing only my knickers." A nod to Annalise.

Nathan smiles some more, his face splitting with the size and force of it and Gabriel thinks he'd kill for this boy. Then Nathan tuts, just as affectionate. "You know what I mean, Gabs."

Gabriel inwardly preens at the moniker. Plenty have used the nickname before, but never has it ever sounded the way it does tripping off of Nathan Byrn's lips. Makes Gabriel think he's the one tripping, every time he hears it.

You're smitten.

Gabriel tries to ignore the oh-so familiar shrill-pitched voice in his mind as Nathan tilts his gorgeous head. "I don't care what you say, anyway. You're an angel if I say you are. With your pretty eyes and your crazy white hair."

White hair.

Gabriel blinks, too much.

You must tell me…

His mask falters. It's only a split-second—too quick for most people to notice. Unfortunately in this instance though, Nathan is not most people.

"Hey, hey, what is it? What did I say?" Nathan's eyes are blown wide and his hands instantly attach themselves to Gabriel's biceps like they've found their way home; an anchor to Gabriel's wayward ship, mooring him from the coming high-tide.

"I don't—it's nothing.“

But Nathan never knows when to leave well alone. "Bollocks, it's nothing. Where did you just go off to?"

…Is it love?

"I…"

No, no, no.

Her.

"Nathan, I—"

M E R C U R Y

And Gabriel is gone, fucked up, spiralling dangerously in a way he's managed to avoid for the longest time.

Bony fingers—too big, too knowing—sliding up the warmth of his inside thighs, to get inside of him, to tug on his will, his shame, his goodness, latching onto his very sense of self.

She'd whisper, so loudly, "Let me in, my dove. Let me in and I will give you the whole world, my sweet, sweet boy. All you could ever want and need or know or be. All for you. All for me."

He never knew why she bothered to ask.

And he fought, tooth and nail, that dove. Every time. He pushed and kicked and scratched and flapped his little wings. Didn't matter though. None of it did. She could take whatever she wanted. All of it. All of him. Always. And she did. She took everything from that frightened little bird, that little boy, until he had no fight left in him. Would just lay back and let it happen. The Witch Mercury: his teacher; his pseudo-mother; his lover. She took away his blonde curls and his deserved innocence and left him as bitter and cold as the driven snow.

Forever Winter.

"Gabriel?"

You. Are. Mine.

…almost.

Gabriel notes vaguely that Nathan's hands are no longer gripping the tops of his arms but have found their way to holding his face—no longer a mask or even a face, really, but something else. His features, ruptured now, Gabriel is a great big hole ripped right open. A gaping rift with all of his pain and guilt and humiliation spilling right out, gushing, brimming, overflowing and threatening to drown him.

He can't breathe.

"Gabriel, tell me what's happening!"

Thumbs are swiping furiously at the thawing ice that's melting from the corners of Gabriel's sad eyes.

He's crying. Having a panic attack.

Nathan is panic-stricken, too.

Nathan.

Nathan!

Not an anchor, but a lifeline.

"Kiss me." Gabriel—even with no breath in his lungs—almost shouts it, fists now balling up and white-knuckled in Nathan's shirt.

Nathan finches like he wasn't actually expecting a response. "What? No! Tell me what's wrong!"

"Nathan, please. Please!" and now he is shouting.

Maybe it's the begging itself or maybe it's just the way Gabriel's voice has a hundred hairline cracks in it, like more thawing ice, but Nathan, he seems to hear it. Somehow through the haze of Gabriel's hysteria and self-hatred Nathan hears exactly what this broken boy needs.

The role-reversal. The control.

Gabriel needs to be needed. To be something good.

Angèlique.

"Kiss me."

So The Bastard Son kisses the Ruined Alchemist in a way neither have ever kissed another, and it's its own magic spell. A counterspell; one to break Mercury's wrong-doing. A conjuring to set Gabriel free and he's there, he's so there, all in, in deep, deeply in love, and the Devil himself couldn't stop this now—

But Annalise can.

They're all but devouring each other when she walks into the room and stops dead, mouth open in a quiet gasp. So, so, quiet. But Gabriel, he hears it. And it's deafening.

Gabriel is every single Evil he's been trying to run from his entire fucking life. If he's ruined this… If he… it's not even as if he and Nathan have been trying to hide this, the thing that has gripped them both, this thing that's binding them, it's just…

It's just—

"Annalise, we—" Nathan begins, but Annalise ends it in one word.

"Us." She corrects.

And that word. That one, small word is unbelievably—incredibly, amazingly—all it takes.

Then they are magnets, he and Nathan, their combined energies pulling Annalise into them. Or she is the magnet. Or they all are? It's not important, Gabriel realises, because there's only one thing that matters now.

Us.

Annalise O'Brien and Nathan Byrn—Gabriel's family—are here, bracing him and embracing him with all of themselves. With all of their selfless love.

Annalise, with her boldness and insecurities and raw beauty and stubbornness and fierce grace, climbs up onto the bed and takes residence, curling into Gabriel's other side. A mirror to Nathan.

And they're healing him.

Nathan takes one of Anna's hands and links their fingers, squeezing. So sure. Smiling. Alive.

Annalise smiles back and leans forwards to kiss him, also sure. All warmth and sugar and spice.

Jesus, they are everything.

Us.

Then they're both laying Gabriel down with their hands and eyes, loving him better. Better than he is, better than he deserves.

Nathan can surely read minds. "Stop thinking you don't deserve this," he says and smiles, le soleil du matin—the morning sun.

Us.

Annalise, la lune dans le ciel nocturne—the moon in the night sky, hums, "Silly goose," at Gabriel, then she and Nathan are kissing each other again.

Then they're kissing Gabriel, on his arms and his chest and his neck and his chin and his cheeks and his mouth and Gabriel can finally breathe.

"Us," he agrees, his tears drying up.

And laying in a bed in a hostel somewhere in Berlin with a boy and a girl who both love him, Gabriel Boutin—guardian angel, Angélique or not—is saved.

(a nabrielise WIP—pls let me know in the comments if you'd like adding to the finished work's taglist!)

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kitkatopinions · 1 year

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I feel like the rwby fans who are against rewrites and AUs really need to consider that not everything someone makes in a rewrite or AU is because we think that it's how things should be in the actual show. Not everything is a 'this is what rwby should've been' and even the fics that are framed that way tend to take on a life of their own and the people that write them put stuff in just because they think it's fun or it suits their interests.

Like for instance, in the wake of volume nine, I'm coming up with a 'what I would've wanted V9 to be based on their ideas but with tweaks to make it more enjoyable to me, and where I think it'd go from there,' AU where I'm planning to bring back and fully redeem Ironwood and not make Blake and Yang stay together. This doesn't mean that I think the show should bring back and fully redeem Ironwood, because at this point it would feel like a total-walk-back and it'd be cheap and make even more of V8 totally pointless and I think the writers would screw it up by trying to appease the IW haters, and I think they should just leave him dead and let him go completely. And this doesn't mean I think they should make Blake and Yang split up in the actual show, because even though I don't like the ship and I don't like their relationship at all, I think that the show should stick with it both because I think not enough same sex relationships are actually shown and also because these writers suck at writing relationship drama.

As another for instance, in the wake of volume nine, I've started coming up with an idea where Neo 'ascends' by trying to give up herself to bring back Roman in the same way it's implied that Ruby could've just stopped being Ruby and decided to bring back Summer instead. Roman however would 'come back different' because despite the Cat's insistence, Neo still loved herself and wanted to be herself so no matter what she chose there was still a small part of her that influenced the new Roman, AND her envy of the life Ruby had made her want Roman to come back but 'able to have that sort of life' by having some qualities of Ruby. So Roman came back basically still himself but A) a bit more moral, B) aesthetically influenced by Ruby and looking younger than he was due to both her and Neo, landing him around twenty or nineteen, and C) with Neo's ability to break/teleport, and D) with Neo's memories of everything that happened. And I haven't decided all the details yet because there's a possibility that he could stay in the Ever After and there's a possibility that he could just immediately follow the others back to Remnant (and I have different plans for each.) but that's all a side note. Because I would never want the actual show to get rid of a female character SPECIFICALLY to bring back a male character they killed like six years ago. If they sacrificed Neo for Roman's sake in the actual serious product, I would be so mad.

The war against re-writes and AUs is so stupid. People just write what they think is fun, what they like, even 'fix-its' included because people are doing those rewrites for themselves so there are going to be things in fix-its that are just for them. Not everything is a 'this is better than what's in rwby/this is what the writers should do' people just write what they find enjoyable.

Rewrites and AUs are super cool actually.

#rwde

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xtrain · 2 months

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1979-1990 Anime Primer

I wrote this primer to serve as an introduction to those new to 80s anime. It features 50 titles (plus one bonus title), all of which are either films or OVAs for ease of viewing. Please note that Studio Ghibli films from this era were purposefully excluded since they are already so well-known (I consider Nausicaä to be pre-Ghibli).

1979 Aim for the Ace!

1979 Galaxy Express 999　

1979 Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro　

1981 Ashita no Joe 2

1981 The Door into Summer 1981 The Fantastic Adventures of Unico　

1981 Mobile Suit Gundam: The Movie Trilogy

1982 Arcadia of My Youth

1982 Space Adventure Cobra: The Movie

1983 Urusei Yatsura Movie 1: Only You

1984 Birth

1981 Daicon IV

1984 Macross: Do You Remember Love?

1984 Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

1984 The Star of Cottonland

1984 Urusei Yatsura Movie 2: Beautiful Dreamer

1985 Angel’s Egg

1985 GoShogun: The Time Étranger

1985 Leda: The Fantastic Adventure of Yohko

1985 Megazone 23

1985 Minky Momo: La Ronde in My Dream 1985 Night on the Galactic Railroad 1986 Fist of the North Star

1986 Megazone 23 Part II

1986 Project A-ko

1986 Windaria

1987 Black Magic M-66

1987 Bubblegum Crisis

1987 Devilman: The Birth/Demon Bird

1987 Dirty Pair: Project Eden

1987 Neo-Tokyo

1987 Robot Carnival

1987 Royal Space Force: Wings of the Honnêamise

1987 To-y

1987 Twilight of the Cockroaches

1988 Akira

1988 Dominion Tank Police

1988 Dragon’s Heaven

1988 Gunbuster

1988 Legend of the Galactic Heroes: My Conquest is the Sea of Stars

1988 One Pound Gospel

1988 Vampire Princess Miyu

1989 The Five Star Stories

1989 Gosenzo-sama Banbanzai!

1989 Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket

1989 Patlabor: The Movie

1989 Venus Wars

1990 Cyber City Oedo 808

1990 Nineteen 19

1990 Record of Lodoss War

BONUS Blue Blazes

#anime #Watch #movies #anime memes #anime movie

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orangeboulevard · 3 months

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30 FANFIC ONESHOTS

I'm gonna attempt a 30 day writing challenge! If anybody has ideas for certain days, feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments or in asks.

Master List:

One: The Lies You Told (TWD, Reader x Rick Grimes)

Two: Talking Back (Marvel, Male!OC x AndrewGarfield!Spiderman)

Three: Deny The Truth (The Pirates Of The Caribbean, Fem!OC)

Four: Questions (Harry Potter)

Five: Stretch The Truth (Star Trek Voyager, Reader)

Six: Falling Down (Stargate)

Seven: Climb (Marvel, Venom!Reader x AndrewGarfield!Spiderman)

Eight: Out Of This Hole (The Matrix, Reader x Neo)

Nine: Find A Way (

Ten: Almost (

Eleven: Last Thought Of Winter (

Twelve: What Good Is Sorry? (

Thirteen: Don't Move (TWD, Reader x Daryl Dixon)

Fourteen: Fractured Promises (

Fifteen: Make A Choice (

Sixteen: Waist Deep (

Seventeen: Hollow (

Eighteen: Salt In The Wound (

Nineteen: Second Wind (

Twenty: Jumbled Up In You (

Twenty-One: Summer Birds (

Twenty-Two: River Rock (

Twenty-Three: Life In A Dream (

Twenty-Four: Message To The Moon (

Twenty-Five: Tell Me Why (

Twenty-Six: Pretty Chains (

Twenty-Seven: Admit It To Yourself (

Twenty-Eight: Where Shall We Go? (Marvel, Reader x AndrewGarfield!Spiderman)

Twenty-Nine: The Sun Set Behind The Clouds (

Thirty: Time To Say Goodbye (

#Writing #Writing Challenge #fanfition #fanfic #ao3 writer #request #requests open #oneshot #creative writing #writing prompts #writing challenges and prompts #the walking dead #rick grimes #reader insert #marvel #the matrix #neo #harry potter #pirates of the caribbean

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lovejustforaday · 8 months

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Shoegaze Classics - Somnium

Somnium - Sianspheric (1995)

Main Genres - Shoegaze, Space Rock, Dream Pop, Neo-Psychedelia

A decent sampling of: Post-Rock, Ambient Pop

Shoegaze made its first small but noteworthy splash in the U.S. indie/alternative scene some time in the mid 90s.

Bands like Drop Nineteens, Starflyer 59, Lovesliescrushing, and The Swirlies were coming onto the scene, embracing the subgenre's formula with their own unique twists while following the example of bands from the British Isles like MBV and Ride.

Other American bands like Smashing Pumpkins took broader inspiration from the original shoegazers, playing around with guitar textures and dipping their toes into more washed out reverb sounds.

Canadian bands, meanwhile, barely even touched shoegaze until the turn of the century. That is, with one notable exception. Today we're going to be looking at Canada's own original shoegaze band - the elusive and wispy Sianspheric.

The Band

Sianspheric were the only even somewhat prominent first wave shoegaze band to come from the land of the canucks.

And by saying that, I certainly don't mean that these guys were MBV level big, nor even to the degree of bands like Lush or Swervedriver. These guys were small timers, filling the void for hip 90s Canadians needing a homegrown fix for their addictions to heavily reverberated guitar.

Hailing from Hamilton, ON, Sianspheric was formed in 1994 by Sean Ramsay on guitar, Matthew Durrant on drums, Steve Peruzzi on vocals on bass, and Paul Sinclair on guitar. Peruzzi's vocals are perhaps the platonic ideal of a shoegazer - perpetually relaxed, half awake even, but rich and highly resonant in tone despite a generally soft delivery.

The band were part of a broader scene of indie rock happening in the 90s Greater Toronto Area that Ramsay himself has dubbed the "Pseudo-Burlington scene". Sianspheric were also part of a wave of artists writing shoegaze music that heavily overlapped with a new generation of space rock.

The band quickly signed with the Canadian indie label Sonic Unyon and promptly dropped their first record in 1995. No early EPs this time fellas.

The Record

Somnium is a faintly glowing, leisurely 'spacegaze' tour-de-force, ever subtly subduing its listener into dreamy visions of seemingly bending laws of the universe to its will, just like any other powerful substance. It is an auditory experience meant to accompany a form of relaxing interstellar space travel that unfortunately doesn't exist at the time that I'm writing this review.

From a strictly timbral frame of reference, I would say this record contains many of the most pleasing textures that 90s shoegaze bands would manage to produce.

Big fans of Slowdive in particular (such as myself) are also sure to enjoy this record, as it shares a similar ethos with the band's heavy use of dynamics, building intensity, and more involved, atmospheric production to augment its hazy guitars.

The album opens with "Turbulent + Hydrodynamic", an aimless journey on a riff through vast infinite stargazing before the abrupt pull of a celestial body drags the listener down into a whirlpool of distorted guitar rock.

"This Window" takes psychedelic dream pop to a whole new level of tranquility, with a tiny, dotted guitar refrain that twinkles in and out of the realm of audible sounds, like a distant flicker from far out.

Immediately following is the crushing waves of "Watch Me Fall", a plunge into more sonic whirlpools with a sense of inquisitive glee, going in head first just to see what is on the other side.

"I Like The Ride" is a mind-melting, orgasmic rush of sensory pleasure in the form of juicy, crunching guitars that flood the ear canals with fizzy sonic fluids til it reaches the brain. It is a full out-of-body experience that leaves me feeling completely suspended in time while simultaneously blasting through the universe with all the propulsion of pulsar rays. Peruzzi's nasally half-chanted vocals peek through the synchronized mess of it all, with defiant declarations of self-determination, yet somehow maintaining an aloof coolness in his inflection, as if he isn't even a part of reality. I don't use this comparison often, but this song really is like having some of the most gratifying sex ever.

The record closes with an ambient post-rock piece. Towering at over twenty one minutes long, "Where The Planets Revolve, I Wish I Was There" is certainly a daring choice of how to end your album, but I do think it overstays its welcome considering the very minor variation it offers over those twenty one minutes. Furthermore, the riff this track its based around is not one that I think lends itself well to being repeated dozens of times; no real sense of closure or finality in its melody. For something in a similar vein done frankly (IMO) better, I'd recommend "Midnight Souls Still Remain" at the end of M83's 2008 LP Saturdays = Youth.

Still, this is not nearly enough to sour my experience of this record. It's a bit front-loaded, sure, but there are stunning celestial textures throughout all of these tracks, and the highlights are more than enough to keep me invested for the entire duration. Somnium is a very solid record.

What Came After That?

Sianspheric are still going as a band, and never really stopped going, even if their output has waned over the years. The lineup has changed a few times, but Sean and Matthew have maintained their roles as guitarist/vocalist and drummer, respectively. Original vocalist Steve left the band shortly after their second record.

The band's follow up material after Somnium has mostly leaned harder into the space rock component of their sound. There's the 1998 sophomore LP There's Always Someplace You'd Rather Be, and the more instrumental The Sound of The Colour of The Sun from 2001.

I checked out the 2001 record while writing these reviews, and I've got to say that "Radiodiffusion" is arguably just as great as "I Like The Ride", though more of a bittersweet vibe juxtaposing the latter's intense euphoria. Could really do without the jumpscare on "Tous les soirs" though, like holy shit wtf come on guyz!

Sianspheric's latest LP was 2016's Writing the Future in Letters of Fire. Save for a 2020 EP titled So We Swim, the band has not put out any other major releases since. Their still playing shows regularly though, which is always great to see for bands that have been around without hiatus for as long as they have.

Even if you were already a savvy shoegaze connoisseur coming into this series, there's a good chance that you've never heard of this band or this record until now, so I compel you to explore this hidden gem of the 90s. Somnium really delivers one of the most far out trips that any shoegaze record has to offer.

8/10

Highlights: "I Like The Ride", "Turbulent + Hydrodynamic", "This Window", "Watch Me Fall"

#somnium #sianspheric #shoegaze #dream pop #space rock #neo-psychedelia #90s #list #album review #music review #shoegaze classics #1995 #steve peruzzi #sean ramsay #matthew durrant #paul sinclair #indie rock

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ghostlemon36 · 1 year

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Silly little intro post

Hi, I’m Ghost or Lemon (completely interchangeable), and I use primarily he/they/it/voi pronouns, but I’m happy with any neos (with very few exceptions)

My profile picture is by DTowncat_ on Twitter, who I’d highly recommend following!!

I post just… whatever comes to mind at the time, and I reblog a lot of stuff, especially relating to mcyt (which is, apparently, my new big hyperfixation)

Don’t be afraid to message me, I’d love some more Mutuals!

I’m really trying to get used to not hiding the media and fandoms I’m interested in, so if you think I’m being cringy please leave me be ftlog.

I’m nineteen and not super comfy with anyone younger than fifteen interacting (and even that’s pushing it), this is due to the sexual nature of some of the posts I may make/reblog. Please be respectful of that, if you want to know about any specific boundaries please ask.

I think that’s everything <3

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rynnaaurelius · 1 year

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I posted 2,612 times in 2022

That's 277 more posts than 2021!

57 posts created (2%)

2,555 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@phoenixyfriend

@zagreuses-toast

@darthlordcommie

@zoanzon

@vaspider

I tagged 2,609 of my posts in 2022

#pjo - 92 posts

#nature of the hellsite - 87 posts

#star wars - 71 posts

#art - 62 posts

#ofmd - 58 posts

#cats - 56 posts

#heroes of olympus - 55 posts

#gender things - 49 posts

#long post - 49 posts

#laugh rule - 47 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#just god. give me the unspoken pain. give me the mistrust of 'you lied to me for them' and 'i of course place my life in your hands' at onc

My Top Posts in 2022:

Once again thinking about how Jason and Reyna are Obscenely Young to be praetors of an entire legion--Luke was nineteen and head counselor! Clarisse and Beckendorf and Silena were all at least a year older than Jason/Reyna when they were head counselors!--and yeah, there's a whole Child Soldier thing being done with New Rome right there, to combine with it.

But the more I think about it, the proximity to Othrys plus the fact that Luke definitely took one look at New Rome and Had Feelings about it, there's, uh, something to be said for theorizing that the only reason Jason and Reyna are praetors instead of over-achieving centurions is that literally everyone else who would be ahead of them is Fucking Dead (Or Octavian, depending on how you headcanon it)

132 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

Anyway, as long as we're all here, my hottest take about Heroes of Olympus is that Luke's ghost should've been it.

And I don't even mean him him (Though, Gaea resurrecting those who died fighting for Kronos to fight in turn for her would be. . .ugh. Give it to me). Just. . .his legacy.

Percy struggling as he starts to come closer to the age that Luke was when he first decided to steal the Master Bolt and start the war all those years ago.

Annabeth trying to figure out how to come terms with her relationship with Luke, how he hurt her but did all this so that she could live to adulthood, how he let her take the sky but never stopped trying to save her life.

He should've been echoing throughout every book. Everyone from the Titan War, who died in it, should've haunted the narrative as the survivors struggle to define what it's like to live in the aftermath, especially with yet another apocalypse bearing down on them and they're manipulated by the gods.

389 notes - Posted March 1, 2022

Every time I see a "Luke Castellan was a bad person" take cross my dash, I get closer to writing a five thousand word meta about how the entire point of The Last Olympian and, arguably, the entire original series, is that Luke Was Right, Actually, and that Percy should've been radicalized in Heroes of Olympus

967 notes - Posted February 28, 2022

I normally keep the MCU off this blog for reasons of It Pisses Me Off, but MCU!Wanda Maximoff is once again doing the rounds, so I'm not-so-kindly reminding you all that turning the Jewish-Romani daughter of a Holocaust survivor, who is often horrifically villainized in the comics, into a Christian white woman who joins up with the superpowered neo-Nazis and becomes the Girlboss Joker For MCU Stans sucks shit and I'll thank you all to keep it off my dash

992 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022