#none of them are disabled so they wouldn’t understand

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

#caique posts #i cannot stress enough that this is a joke #but also it does genuinely feel with the chronic fatigue + adhd combo that we are not going to make it through a-levels without #some kind of (illegal) stimulants #i just hate that i cannot do anything no matter how much i want to do the thing #we’re at our wits end trying not to burn out and our teachers are at their wits end trying to make sure we leave with decent a-level grades #none of them are disabled so they wouldn’t understand #and we haven’t told them about what’s wrong with us because the awful waiting lists and apathetic doctors mean we have no diagnosis to show #we could say ‘hey we barely do anything outside of lessons because by the end of every day we’re too tired to stand up’ #but have no medical evidence to show for it because every GP we’ve gone to about it has said ‘there’s nothing i can do to help’ #and the adhd waiting list is about 8 years so no chance we’re getting that diagnosis before march #honestly drugs seems like the easiest way through this #vent #tw drugs

[steddieas-shegoes]

hiii not sure if you’re still taking requests but

no upside down au where teen single dad steve approaches eddie after hellfire bc every parenting stuff keeps mentioning how reading to babies is super important for their development but his dyslexia makes reading so hard let alone be expressive w it too and the kids keep mentioning how eddie is amazing on dnd. eddie is skeptical cause how come no ones has heard of king steve’s one year old ? but he accepts when steve offers paying but after seeing steve w his baby and understanding how he changed he refuses the money and cue them slowly falling in love and becoming a family <333

Sorry this took *checks watch* like 9 months to finish! I kinda took some creative turns, but it's done!

read on ao3

rated t | 5,182 words | no cw | tags: mostly fluff, single parent steve, not canon compliant, mutual pining, getting together, love confessions

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

Early August 1985

“Steve, it’s not like he’s gonna fuckin’ bite, dude,” Dustin said from the passenger seat.

“Language.”

“She’s not even awake,” Dustin whisper yelled. “I promise he’s cool. The worst he’ll say is no. It’s not like he’s gonna bully you.”

“No one else knows I’m asking him this, right?” Steve was suddenly worried that all the kids knew about Steve’s learning disability and they’d think he was actually stupid and-

“No, it’s just me. But if you don’t hurry up and go in before everyone else gets here, they’ll find out.”

Steve glanced in the backseat, smiling to himself at his sleeping daughter. She’d been out for nearly the entire drive from his house to Dustin’s to the high school, so she’d probably be waking up within the next 20 minutes and she’d be ready to stretch her legs.

She was a squirmy thing from the moment she figured out how to scoot around the floor, and it only got worse when she learned to walk at 11 months. The only time she was still and staying out of trouble was when she was asleep.

“If she starts crying, just sit back there with her. She just likes having company,” Steve reminded him as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Yep. I’ve literally babysat for you before. I can handle her for 5 minutes.”

“Attitude.” Steve shook his head and opened the door, getting out and only closing the door most of the way so it wouldn’t wake her up.

Eddie always showed up 30 minutes early for Hellfire Club to set up according to Dustin. He took this club very seriously, even as a third year senior. He kept it running all summer so that incoming freshmen would have time to get acquainted with his style of DMing or whatever.

Steve respected the dedication, though he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that dedication were put into his homework, he would’ve graduated in May with Steve.

But Steve couldn’t actually judge. Not with the fact that he was pretty close to not graduating himself. He had a pretty good reason, but still.

The auditorium door closed loudly behind him, making him jump and clench his jaw painfully.

“Door’s broken. You gotta hold it while it closes so it doesn’t slam,” a voice said from the door to the backstage area.

Steve squinted through the semi-darkness and felt his stomach turn. Eddie.

“I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had to open it. Figured they would have fixed it by now,” Steve replied, walking closer to the guy he needed to talk to.

“No shit! Is that King Steve? In the flesh?” Eddie’s dramatics were endearing, even if it was slightly annoying that he pulled out the stupid high school nickname he’d lost well before he graduated.

“Yeah,” Steve sighed. This wasn’t gonna go well.

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but none of your precious kiddos have made it yet. It’s still early.”

Steve nodded. “One of them’s sitting in my car in the parking lot. Um, Henderson? He’s an incoming freshman.”

“Ah. Dustin’s got a place in Hellfire if you’re worried. I don’t turn anyone away who wants to be here.”

“No, no, that’s not it.” Steve needed to just spit it out. “He said you’re like, great at storytelling or whatever. Like you’re the best DM he’s ever seen and he knows I could use those skills for something.”

“Oh? What could Steve Harrington need DM skills for?”

“My daughter.”

The silence following his confession was louder than the door slamming only a minute ago.

He probably could’ve revealed his motives a little better, work up to the fact that he even had a daughter maybe. Very few people actually knew, and he had to keep it that way until he could leave his parent’s house.

“Your…daughter.”

“Yes. She’s just turned one and the doctors said reading to her is like, super important for learning words and helping her learn how to have an imagination and stuff. And I do read to her!” Steve suddenly felt worried that Eddie would think he was a bad parent. “I try to. But I’m, well, Nancy says it’s dyslexia? So words are kinda hard and it gives me a headache if I try to read for more than a few minutes and I’m so busy focusing on the words I don’t think I’m making it very fun for her-“

“Woah. Steve. Slow down.” Eddie braced his hand on Steve’s shoulder and squeezed. “I didn’t even know you had a daughter. Does anyone know you have a daughter?”

“The kids do, yeah. My parents do because they kinda helped cover it all up and made sure I still graduated so I didn’t embarrass them or whatever.” Steve looked down at the floor, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn’t really want to go through the whole thing with this guy. “Robin Buckley knows? She’s my best friend. The Byers and Wheelers, Hopper. Some teachers know but were sworn to secrecy.”

“Huh.”

Steve looked up to see Eddie stepping closer to him, soft smile on his face.

“So what do you need me for exactly?”

“Dustin said you’re really good at telling stories and I figured maybe you would be willing to read to her? Not every day, like I can work with your schedule or whatever. Evening would be best for me, but it’s not really a big deal if it has to be other times. She comes to work with me so if it had to be during the day, you could sit in the office or something, I dunno.” Steve shrugged. He hated asking for help. But Dustin insisted Eddie was actually a good guy and would keep his secret. No one who saw her at work assumed Steve Harrington was a single parent at 18. That would just be absurd. “I just don’t want her to miss out.”

Eddie’s hand drifted down his arm, holding his hand for a moment before he stepped back.

“My schedule is kinda random. But I’m sure we can work something out.”

Steve’s shoulders fell as his body relaxed. “Yeah? I can pay you. Not much. My parents mostly cut me off.” Steve was scrambling. “I can give you gas money and stuff for having to come to us. And like, food? I can cook.”

Eddie’s eyes were intense, watching his every move, making him nervous.

“How ‘bout a free trial? I’ll do it for a couple weeks and then we can see about payment.”

Steve nodded eagerly. “Yeah, yeah. Cool.” Jesus, he was embarrassing. What happened to his charm? “Would you be able to start soon?”

“Normally, I’d say I can come by after Hellfire, but I have an…appointment right after tonight. I can come by tomorrow?”

Steve smiled. “Tomorrow’s good. I work until five.”

“I can be at your house by seven.”

“Great! I have plenty of books. Right now, she’s really into Old Macdonald, but I think it’s just because it sorta sounds like her name and we get to make silly noises,” Steve smiled to himself, not seeing the way Eddie was smiling too. “I think she’ll probably like whatever you read to her, though.”

“What’s her name?”

“Mackenzie. Robin read it in a book and said it meant fire-born or something? It sounded cool. We call her Mac or Kenzie for short so she hears Macdonald and thinks we’re giving her another nickname,” Steve laughed. “Anyway, I better get back to the car. If she’s awake and Dustin has to deal with her crying for too long, he gets an attitude.”

“Mackenzie. I like it.” Eddie nodded once. “See you tomorrow, Stevie.”

Steve agreed and waved, turning around to leave. By the time he realized Eddie’s nickname for him, Eddie was already backstage.

****

Steve was nervous.

He nearly burnt the chicken he was cooking for dinner just from getting distracted by thoughts of Eddie being in his home.

He didn’t even know why. Maybe it was the fact that he’d always thought Eddie was kinda rough around the edges and was surprised he’d agreed so easily. Maybe it was bringing someone new into the small group he’d had around for a couple years. Maybe it was the way Eddie’s hand on his shoulder seemed to leave a permanent mark despite being one of the softest touches he’d felt from another adult in a while.

Mackenzie was in her high chair already, eating some of the noodles he’d made as a side. She’d been practicing using a fork, so quite a few had fallen on the floor, but Steve still smiled and told her she did a great job any time she managed to get one to her mouth.

The doorbell rang and Steve felt his heart stop.

“Daddy!” Mackenzie squealed when the bell rang. She knew that usually meant Hopper was here. Everyone else just came inside on their own. “Hop!”

“No, baby, not Hop. Not tonight. It’s my friend, Eddie. He’s gonna tell you a fun story, okay?” Steve ran his hands through her hair as he walked by to get the door.

When he opened the door, Eddie was standing there with a handful of books, a box of crayons, and what looked like a hairbow.

“I’m here to entertain the princess!” Eddie exclaimed. “Lead me to her highness!”

Steve couldn’t hide the grin on his face if he wanted to. “She’s currently trying to stab noodles to death. I’m sure you’ll be entertained.”

“Ah, they must have wronged her. I’ll assist,” Eddie made his way past Steve, walking towards the kitchen.

Steve knew he’d been to a couple of the parties he threw to sell, but had no idea he remembered the layout of his house. Maybe he had one of those picture minds.

As Steve entered the kitchen, he noticed that Eddie had set down the pile of books on the counter before he sat down in front of Mackenzie.

There were a few books he recognized: an ABC book that he was pretty sure he’d had when he was a kid but had since lost, a book of fairy tales with Rapunzel on the cover, something by Beatrix Potter, and a couple of coloring books that featured princesses and dragons and horses.

“She isn’t really old enough to color, is she?” Steve asked, interrupting what must have been a very amusing conversation of mostly babbling. “I don’t have any coloring stuff.”

“Coloring with skill? No. She definitely doesn’t have the motor skills to color in the lines or even use the right colors for the right things. But it does help her learn how to hold a crayon. My uncle couldn’t really afford much when I was a baby, so for every Christmas until I was in school he would get me new crayons and coloring books. I don’t really remember how I did, but I do remember having fun.” Eddie turned back to Mackenzie. “And sometimes it’s fun to just make a mess, right?”

Mackenzie clapped her hands together, sending the toddler fork she’d been using to the floor with a noodle attached to it. Steve wordlessly grabbed one of her spoons from the drawer and gave it to her, kissing the top of her head before he knelt down to pick up the fork.

Eddie watched silently, something soft about the way he didn’t interrupt anything even though he could’ve kept talking.

“I made chicken and pasta. It’s probably not my best work, but I made enough for you if you haven’t eaten yet,” Steve offered as he walked to the stove to start plating the food for himself.

“I wouldn’t turn it down. Wayne’s not exactly known for serving five star meals,” Eddie joked. “He believes in the power of fried bologna and cheese sandwiches with a bag of chips.”

Steve grimaced. “Okay, well I made enough for you to bring home some leftovers too.”

“You don’t have to-”

“You’re taking home leftovers.”

Steve turned to see Eddie’s widened eyes and open mouth that slowly formed into a smile.

“I guess I’m taking home some leftovers.” He turned to Mackenzie and tickled her neck. “Your daddy is pushy isn’t he?”

Steve blushed, but continued making up a plate for Eddie.

As they sat and ate, Eddie talked about all of his favorite books for little kids, and how he remembered sneaking into the library after school for years because he knew he didn’t wanna go home. He talked about the first time a teacher wrote a positive letter home, an English teacher who said his fictional essay was the best in the class and he should consider writing as a career. He even talked about his plans for the school year campaigns, but made Steve swear not to mention anything to the kids.

“I’ll know if you tell them,” Eddie winked.

Steve believed him.

When they were done, Steve grabbed Mackenzie from her chair.

“I’m gonna give her a quick bath if you wanna bring all that stuff to her room. Second floor, third door on the right. It’s a little messy right now. Someone decided to pull all her toys from her box yesterday and I haven’t had time to clean it up,” Steve tickled Mackenzie’s side, making her giggle and turn her head into his shoulder.

“You need me to clean this up?” Eddie asked, gesturing to the table.

“Nah, I’ll do it while you read to her.”

Despite his efforts, bath time was never truly quick. Mackenzie loved to splash around and play with her toys, and if he tried to wash her hair too quickly, she would be grumpy for the rest of the night. He definitely didn’t want that for Eddie.

He set a timer for 10 minutes and tried to explain to a very excited Mackenzie that when the timer went off, it would be time to wash her hair and get out.

“You wanna have time to play with Eddie, so we can’t play for too long in the water.”

She didn’t seem to pay any attention to him, already too busy making her rubber duck fight with her mermaid Barbie.

He observed while she played, bringing in the rubber car she liked to pretend to drive on the side of the tub.

When the timer went off, she let him wash her hair without a fuss, and he quickly wrapped her up in a towel to get her into pajamas.

Eddie was waiting in her room when he got there, coloring books spread out on the floor. He smiled up at them from where he sat, legs crossed, hands in his lap.

“Squeaky clean?” He asked, waving at Mackenzie.

“Definitely lacking noodles in places noodles shouldn’t be at least,” Steve said, making his way to her changing table to get her dressed. “She must be pretty excited about you being here. Usually bath time takes at least 30 minutes and I have to bribe her with chocolate milk to get out.”

“She knows we’re gonna have a lot of fun. I think I’m gonna read Goodnight Moon first. That’s one of my favorites.”

“She’ll love that,” he said as he buttoned the snaps of her onesie.

As soon as he set her on the floor next to Eddie, she reached for a coloring book with a mermaid on it.

“Daddy! Muh!”

“Yeah, baby, it’s a mermaid! Just like your doll in the bath.” Steve pointed to the fish next to the mermaid. “And that’s a fish. Fish swim in the ocean.”

He felt Eddie’s eyes on him while he pointed to some other sea creatures and told Mackenzie what they were.

Eventually, he looked over at Eddie, blushing at the soft smile on his face. “What?”

“You’re a really good dad, Steve.”

“Oh. Uh. Thanks,” Steve felt heat flood his body.

It’s not that no one had ever said that to him. Robin had told him plenty of times, Joyce had whispered it to him when no one else was paying attention, even Hopper had given him a handshake and said he was doing a good job once. But hearing it from Eddie, in this situation, when he’d been feeling like such a failure lately, was enough to make him want to cry.

He had to get out of this room.

“I should go clean up and leave you to it.”

“Sure, yeah. We’ll be right here.”

Steve booked it out of the room, rushing down the stairs to try to get busy with cleaning before his brain settled on crying over a compliment.

But the table was cleared. The high chair was wiped down. When he turned to the sink, the dishes were stacked up to dry in the rack. The counters were wiped, the dish towel had been put back on the handle of the oven to dry, and leftovers had been put in a container to finish cooling down.

Steve let the tears fall.

Fuck it, if Eddie was going to be this nice, he could have a little cry.

He walked quietly to the bathroom to put all the bath toys in the basket, but stopped outside Mackenzie’s bedroom when he heard giggling.

He’d closed the door halfway, just so she wouldn’t get too distracted if he walked by the room, but he couldn’t help looking in.

He felt like crying again when he saw Mackenzie sitting on Eddie’s lap, pointing at something in the book.

“Where’s the moon?” Eddie asked.

“Moo!” Mackenzie said, smacking at a place in the book.

“There’s the moon! Good job, little one.” Mackenzie leaned back against Eddie’s chest. “And where’s the…toys?”

She pointed again, but slightly less enthusiastically. Steve could see her energy dropping quickly.

He watched as Eddie told her she did a good job again and then continued reading.

Her eyes drooped more with every page. Eddie’s voice got closer to a whisper with every sentence.

Steve fell just a little bit more with every second that passed.

*****

October 1985

Eddie came every day. Despite the fact that Steve insisted he didn’t need to, that he didn’t want to ruin his schedule, Eddie showed up like clockwork at seven every single evening.

Steve learned to expect him, always made enough dinner for all of them to enjoy before Mackenzie had her bath and then got to read with Steve.

Every night, Eddie would clean up while she took a bath, and every night, he’d let her pick a page to color while he read something to her, switching to a bedtime story when she started crawling into his lap.

Steve would watch them often, laying down on the carpet and smiling as he listened to Eddie use different voices for characters, asking her questions so she was involved, and whispering when she started to drift off.

Other times, he’d try to get something done he’d been putting off, like cleaning the bathroom or folding laundry.

Eddie never accepted payment.

Steve tried bringing it up once school started, certain that this time spent here could’ve been better spent on homework or a part-time job that paid better than what Steve could offer. Eddie just shook his head and insisted that other than Hellfire every Thursday, he would be there for free.

They got to know each other over dinner, and Steve found that he was right to have butterflies every time Eddie smiled at him, every time he would touch his hand as he walked by to say hi to Mackenzie.

“Halloween costume ideas?” Eddie asked with his mouth full. Steve had given up long ago on trying to get him to wait until he was done chewing. It wasn’t that big of a deal. “What did this little miss go as last year?”

“Oh. She was a bumblebee.” Steve smiled at the memory. “Cutest costume I saw all night.���

“I bet.” Eddie took a sip of his water. “And you?”

“Oh, I didn’t dress up.”

“What? Why not?” Eddie sounded genuinely upset.

“Just got away from me, I guess? By the time I thought about it, nothing good was left at the store,” Steve shrugged, unbothered. He’d never been that into Halloween. His focus was making sure Mackenzie had fun.

“And no one offered to help you make something?” Eddie was no longer eating and Mackenzie had turned her attention to him when his tone became serious.

“I didn’t ask.”

“But no one offered.” Eddie stood up and walked over to his backpack. “Okay, we’ve gotta plan. Did you already pick something for her?”

He came back holding a notebook and a pencil, brows set in a straight line. Steve had never seen him look so serious.

“I had a few ideas, but I wanted to let her pick something at the store,” Steve said.

“Lay them on me.”

They discussed costumes for the next 30 minutes, but after only 10, Mackenzie whined to get out of her chair. Eddie wordlessly stood up and picked her up, setting her in his lap and letting her poke and prod at him and his notebook.

Steve watched them both, accepting for the first time that this wasn’t just a crush that was gonna go away.

He’d fallen completely head over heels for Eddie, and he had no clue what to do about it.

*****

November 1985

Steve was the only one who had space to host Thanksgiving.

He became manic a week before, realizing that his work schedule would not allow him to have much time to clean unless he did it at night. The problem was that he would get a migraine if he didn’t sleep.

“So let’s work on it together. I can come right after school. Cancel Hellfire this week,” Eddie offered.

“But you already won’t have it next week because of Thanksgiving. I can’t ask you to-”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. If I’m gonna be eating here, I should probably help clean up at least.”

So they worked on a little at a time.

Eddie wasn’t always helpful, getting distracted by some of the smallest things. But his company was appreciated all the same.

“You could invite Wayne, ya know,” Steve offered while he dusted the shelves in the living room. “Plenty of room and food.”

“Thanks, but he always works Thanksgiving day for the double pay. We usually do something the day after,” Eddie answered while he cleaned up all of Mackenzie’s toys.

“If he decides not to work, just let him know.”

“Will do, Stevie.”

He didn’t just help clean, he helped him do the shopping, too.

“I know it’s way harder with a baby, so if you give me a list, I can handle the shopping,” Eddie said while Steve plated their dinners.

“You don’t-”

“Have to, I know. But I can and will.” Eddie’s hand brushed against Steve’s lower back. “Let me help.”

Steve could barely resist the shiver that took over his entire body.

“Okay. Sure.”

Some of the brands were wrong, and he forgot the apples for the apple pie, but Steve still felt immense relief knowing that he had someone to help.

And without it, Thanksgiving would’ve been a disaster.

It was still a bit of a mess, but that was mostly because the kid’s table turned into a food fight that Max started and Mackenzie, of course, continued, until everyone was involved.

But the picture Jonathan took would get framed and hang up near the fireplace in the living room anyway.

******

December 1985

“I cannot believe you waited until Christmas Eve to wrap gifts. That’s not what parents actually do, is it?” Eddie asked as he fought with the tape dispenser for the fifth time in less than an hour.

“I don’t know if I’m the best judge of what parents do. Mine weren’t around much and probably didn’t even wrap my gifts themselves.” Steve took the tape from him, pulled some loose from the roll, and handed it back. “But I kinda always pictured it like this.”

Robin made him swear he’d talk to Eddie about his feelings before the end of the year. The end of the year was soon, real soon.

What better shot did he have than while Mackenzie was asleep and they were wrapping presents together?

“You pictured last minute wrapping with bribed help in your living room?” Eddie asked, amusement in his tone.

“Not exactly,” Steve huffed out a laugh. “More like spoiling my kid with someone I care about.”

Steve watched Eddie’s hands freeze against the clothes box full of new finger puppets they’d both gotten her. He looked over and felt his stomach swoop as Eddie’s eyes found his.

“Stevie-” Eddie set the box down and turned to face Steve.

“Wait, I just. Before you break my heart, hear me out.” Steve already felt his world shrinking, his heart rabbiting in his chest at the thought of losing Eddie entirely. “I’ve spent a lot of time with you for months. Like, more than almost anyone else. I’ve watched you with Kenzie, and how much she loves you and always asks for ‘Ed’ even when it’s way before when you’re gonna be here. You make me smile and laugh and that’s not always easy to do these days. You helped me when you didn’t have to, when you had absolutely no reason to trust that King Steve was a better person. You’re there for all the other kids even though you’re trying to get through school for real this time. I didn’t really plan a big speech, sorry. This is just rambling, I’m doing what Robin does.”

“It’s okay,” Eddie placed his hand on the side of Steve’s neck. “I get what you’re saying.”

“You do?”

“I think so.” Eddie stepped in closer. “But I think you might just be lonely.”

It stung. It wasn’t inaccurate, but it still hurt to think Eddie thought so little of him.

“I think I know how I feel.”

Eddie’s hand dropped from his neck and he took a step back. “I don’t wanna argue, Stevie. I just think you might need to separate yourself from the situation. I’m just always around, ya know?”

“You’re always around because I want you around!” Steve was just a bit too loud, but he knew Mackenzie was a heavy sleeper. “When you aren’t here, I check the clock to know when you will be. I get excited to leave work now because I’m not coming home to do the same thing I always did before. I get to see you and hear about your day and talk to you about mine and see you with my daughter, who probably loves you as much as I do.”

“You…love me?”

“Yes. I do. And I promise it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I still want you here, reading to Kenzie. But I know how I feel. I know why I feel the way I do. You can’t tell me how to feel.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to.” Eddie sighed. “I’m just kinda surprised. Didn’t expect you to be into guys, let alone me. I’m not exactly good boyfriend material. Or stepparent material, either.”

“Oh, fuck that. You’re more her other parent than her mom ever was. She gave her to me the moment she had her and wished me luck before her entire family moved across the country.” Steve felt tears in his eyes. “I trust you. I want you around. I love you.”

Eddie swallowed, eyes pointed towards the carpet.

A minute passed, two. It was rapidly approaching awkward when finally Eddie spoke.

“But I’m so bad at wrapping presents.”

Steve snorted, but felt relief wash over him. “I can do the wrapping. This Christmas, next Christmas, as many Christmases as you’ll stay.”

“All of them?”

“Sounds good to me.” Steve leaned in slowly, let his hands grasp at the front of Eddie’s shirt to pull him closer. “How many Christmases do kids usually believe in Santa?”

“I dunno. I stopped believing when I caught my dad stealing the two presents under our tree when I was four.” Eddie let his hands fall to Steve’s hips. “But something tells me the little princess will be a believer for a while. Better get used to me ripping holes in the paper and using too much tape.”

“Think I can handle it.”

Every time Steve had pictured kissing Eddie before this, he’d thought it would be like any other first kiss, maybe a little awkward since it was his first with a guy.

Instead, it was soft, sweet, slow, perfect. He’d kissed a lot of girls in high school, had kissed them well. Not all of them were great, but even a less than good kiss was still decent.

This was more than any other kiss he’d ever had.

Eddie held him like he would never let go, like this kiss would last forever.

It couldn’t, but that’s how it felt.

When they finally pulled apart, Steve rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“You wanna stay tonight? We can both do the Santa gifts with Kenzie before all the kids bother us,” Steve asked.

“I should call Wayne. I told him I’d be home by midnight.”

“He can come over in the morning, too,” Steve said. “If you want.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for Wayne? He can be a little…gruff.”

“I’m not worried,” Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek. “Hopper’s basically my dad. Plus, Mac’s got a way of breaking the tough old men down.”

“Bets?”

Steve pulled away and started wrapping another present before he got too distracted. “I give it ten minutes.”

“Oh, how generous. I’m giving it five.”

They both laughed as Eddie decided he’d be more help putting already wrapped presents in her stocking and under the tree and making sure everything was put away when Steve was done.

And for the first time, Eddie stayed the night, holding Steve against his chest while they slept.

They both cried when Mackenzie opened her presents excitedly. She was too little to do it herself last year, so seeing her tear through the paper and find joy in throwing it around the room was like a dream come true for Steve.

Eddie admitted he felt like he was intruding for some of it, but Steve quickly reminded him that he was the first person she toddled over to with her new set of princess books and said “Ed, read.”

She sat in his lap right then, even though she still had quite a few presents to open, and he read every single book to her, making her giggle with his high-pitched voices for the princesses and silly accent for the prince.

By the time the kids were coming through the front door, Steve was rushing to shush them, pointing at the couch where Eddie was passed out with Mackenzie curled up against his side.

Steve was never happier than in this moment.

Until the next one, and the one after that.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #anon request #fluff #domestic fluff #single parent steve harrington #getting together #love confessions

[nicksbestie]

hi :3333

maybe johnnie looking after his autistic gf [fem reader] after a hard day at work, like shes overstimulated/overwhelmed n tearful & quiet? and maybe asking jake for advicebc johnnie isnt sure how to help[?]

u dont have to stick to that exactly, feel free to swap their roles around or change a part if it makes it easier to write :3

i loved this prompt <3 i hope i did it justice!!!

Work Day

warnings : none!

pairing : jake/reader (platonic) johnnie/reader (romantic)

word count : 1141

There were a lot of hardships that came with being disabled, and nobody knew that better than you did. It was even worse when it was a disability that wasn’t always visible to the naked eye, because outsiders would doubt the struggles that you faced every day, as if they weren’t real because they couldn’t see them. However, this didn’t mean that nobody saw your hard moments, they were just reserved, as much as possible, for the closest people in your life. 

Like tonight, when you had just sped home from work, desperate to be back in a familiar setting, and had nearly stormed in the door, unintentionally slamming it behind you. You had been through what was possibly your worst day in a long time. Everything had bothered you, even the things that you were normally fine with. You had forgotten how to do some of the work that you needed to know how to do to finish a project which had a fast approaching deadline, and you had piles of other things to complete which had fueled you being incredibly stressed. That had been the start to you being incredibly overwhelmed, and every little thing that piled on after that had made you feel like sobbing and screaming in frustration at the same time. 

Finally getting home, you threw yourself down on the couch, screaming into the cushion before going completely quiet, the tears that you couldn't let out at work coming out of your eyes now. Had you known that your boyfriend was home, and no more than one room away, you would have skipped the screaming part, but you couldn’t take it back. You noticed that he ran out of his room as soon as he heard you, eyes worried when he spotted you laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, but not really seeing anything. 

“What’s going on?” 

The concern was evident in his voice, but you just didn’t have the energy to talk, so you just slowly shook your head, crying. Though your relationship was relatively new, you knew that Johnnie understood what your silence meant, and you knew you probably wouldn’t be speaking much for the rest of the night. Luckily, the couch was wide enough for two, and he laid down next to you, quiet as well. 

“Awful day?” 

You nodded, not really moving much else of your body, despite him being so close to you. You would’ve normally immediately curled into his side, and the fact that you didn’t was really a testament to how bad you were feeling. Not having the same struggles, Johnnie often felt rather helpless when it came to your bad moments, but he was always there. He just didn’t always know how to help. He was learning, and he was taking in every new part of you with stride, and doing everything he could. However, sometimes, you just needed someone who fully understood you, and Johnnie knew that too. There wasn’t any jealousy there, simply understanding and love. 

“Do you want me to call Jake and ask him if he can come over for a little while?” 

You nodded again, knowing that he was going to ask that, and being incredibly grateful for it. You loved your boyfriend, more than you could put into words, but there were times when you needed someone that didn’t need you to fully explain what was going on for them to understand. Plus, you weren’t feeling very verbal, so it would be a lot easier for someone who could relate to verbalize your feelings to Johnnie. Johnnie gently laid a soft kiss to the top of your forehead, pulling his phone out of his back pocket to make the phone call. Due to the fact that Jake and Johnnie don’t talk on the phone all that often, Jake picked up quickly, immediately concerned. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” 

“Not really, but I’m okay. It’s her, she’s struggling today and I don’t really know how to help.” 

You could practically hear Jake’s expression, knowing it was one of empathy. You’d seen it in person too many times to count. 

“Oh no. Do you want me to talk to her?” 

“She’s not speaking right now. Do you mind coming over? Are you busy?” 

Jake laughed down the phone line, but there was no cruelty behind it. 

“Of course I’m not busy. Even if I was, I’d cancel. I’m on the way over. Am I on speaker?” 

“Yeah, you are.” 

You could hear the sound of Jake getting into his car, and knowing that the two closest people in your life that you cared the most about were willing to drop everything to help you made you want to cry and smile at the same time. As he drove, he asked various questions, having a general idea of what was going on, but still wanting to fully understand before he attempted to help. By the time he arrived at your house, you were wrapped up in your weighted blanket, curled up next to Johnnie, noise canceling headphones over your ears. Johnnie gently tapped you, alerting you to Jake’s arrival without scaring you because you couldn’t hear the door opening. 

You knew they were talking to each other because you could see Johnnie’s lips moving, and you could pick up a lot of the words, but didn’t really care too much to insert yourself into the conversation. A lot of it was Jake explaining why you had shut down, why you didn’t want to talk, because it felt like it cost you too much energy, and how both of them could help. After a couple of minutes of speaking to Johnnie, Jake moved more into your eyesight, waving, and offering a gentle hug. Taking him up on the offer, he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing tightly for a little bit of deep pressure therapy before letting go and sitting down on the opposite side of you. 

A fact about your relationship with Jake was that due to the often moments of you both becoming nonverbal, or semi verbal, each of you were fluent in ASL. Johnnie was learning, but not completely fluent yet, and you and Jake began having a conversation of your own. Upon learning that you hadn’t eaten since breakfast, he asked Johnnie if he would mind getting up to get you some food and he could continue talking to you, which, of course, he didn’t mind at all. He immediately got up to get your comfort foods, and you and Jake continued to talk about how you were feeling, and what they could do to help. At the end of the conversation, all three of you ended up just spending a lot of quiet quality time together, watching some shitty comedy on TV and making a bad day a lot better.

#johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert fanfic #johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie guilbert fic #johnnie guilbert fanfiction #johnnie and jake #fanfic #jake webber fluff #jake webber fanfic #jake webber fanfiction #jake webber #jake and johnnie #johnnie guilbert smut

[emsgoodthinkin]

As long as I’m with You

Steve Harrington x You (short)

Summary: Steve wakes up to another bad night you’ve had this week

Warnings: hurt/comfort, talks of poor physical and mental health, doctors, suicidal ideation, medication use, drug use, chronic health issues, BPD if you squint, disabilities, use of the word “girl” x times, negative self talk, mentions of sex, angst, fluff~~

This is based off my own experiences and inspired by my pal Morgan’s version; feel free to check hers out

Tick tick tick

The clock strikes 12 and then 1, 3, 5am in the morning, no sleep no rest it’s an every day cycle. The same shitty cycle.

It’s a new year, but not a new you.

Sitting in your walker in front of the excruciatingly bright television screen, high as a kite, everything in existence running through your mind 100 mph, sometimes the weed helps the pain. Sometimes it induces it or even makes it worse. Right now it’s doing nothing for you. Looking over at your loved one sound asleep. You don’t want to bother him with your whines or crying. So you just sit there silence, tears rolling down your cheeks; while you watch some bullshit on YouTube.

Sniff Sniff

“Baby?”

Shit.

“..yea?” you say in a whispered tone

“Are you ok? what’s wrong?”

“Ah, you already know”, you’ve used that line probably over a million times

Steve comes along your side expecting a few dried tears, but his eyes widen when he’s sees the collar around your shirt bitten, snot dribbling down your mouth and throat, crouching down, he lies his head onto your thigh looking up at you, “Talk to me sweetheart”

“No.”

“Hey, I know you’re hurting”—

“GOOD FOR YOU! Congratulations you know I’m hurting, you know I’ve been hurting for fucking years. I’m glad you’ve acknowledged it unlike some people”you sniffle getting up in a hurry to take a piss as he follows with sad eyes leaning against the door frame

“I’m fucking tired, I’m so goddamn exhausted nobody will ever know what I’m dealing with!”, you say wiping your ass not bothering to wash your hands, “I can’t do anything I can’t run, I can’t jump, can’t go to the stupid, fucking grocery store without one of those motorized carts.. my back hurts, my fucking knees are throbbing, stupid fucking nerves won’t calm down FUCK! It’s not like I can get in the bathtub to calm my muscles down. Nothing is helping! No medication, no PT, no injections, no nothing! Why?? am I just resistant to any source of help or treatment? I-I can’t even lay in the goddamn bed to sleep. That’s all I have left is rest!! What is rest!? I don’t know what the hell that even is”

“I know baby I know”—

“NO YOU DONT STEVE, all you know is what you see. I wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy, my worst enemy to feel what I feel. That’s how bad it all hurts. The most evil, sick and twisted person in this world, I would never wish this upon. I just..”, getting dizzy you collapse on the bed sobbing into your own hands, then eventually into Steve’s shoulder as he rocks you, tears spilling from his own eyes—

“Nobody cares, nobody wants to help me. nobody cares unless I’m rich and can afford to give them any and ALL the things off my back, but I can’t. Even with the money you make it will never be enough to help the poor girl who’s too young to have any kind of issue. It’s “all in my head” I’m just fucking crazy. I could break my own neck and still be told it’s only from anxiety. Nobody cares just”—

“I care” he exhales

“It doesn’t matter if you care, all your care is useless, all your help is worthless to me because it gets me nowhere. Nobody’s love and care gets me nowhere. It’s nothing all but fucking false hope. Don’t you get that? None of you still to this day seems understand that. Stop praying for me to get better. It’s never going to happen. I can’t take it anymore.. I just wanna die! All I wish for is to die but, I can’t even have that. It’s like all of you want me here, to live and suffer for the rest of my life for y’all, it’s not fair, fuck that”, your trembling, body in fight or flight

“Don’t say that, you know I’d do anything to take your pain away”

“It doesn’t matter what you’d do because you’re not a doctor. You’re not a professional, you can’t help me get better.. sucks to hear but it’s the truth Steve..fuck”—

Steve’s really trying not to beat himself up over your words, he knows you’re in pain, it comes from a place of anger, frustration and fear

“I have all these pain medications I could easily take all at once, so I’ll never have to wake up in this position ever again. Why can’t I do it huh? I could end right here right now you never have to suffer again, but I just d-don’t; If anything, I’m the most selfless person for staying alive for YOU just so I can be alive but in pain all over again for YOU!”, your tone getting higher and higher in pitch

“I-I’m sorry.. I wish I knew the right words to say baby”, he’s trying his best to stay strong for you

“You’ve got to be sick of me, tired of me. All I do is cause more money to come out of your pockets, more exhaustion, more burdening, more crying, more everything bad for you. You already deal with your own shit. I do nothing but make your own mentality worse, hell you’re making your own self worse being with a person like me. A broken and useless excuse of a human being. You deserve somebody who can go hiking with you, go to the beach, travel with, who can do the bare minimum. Can’t even fuck you properly—

“STOP! Stop that right now” he shouts

You freeze because he’s never raised his voice at you, atleast not on purpose at such a vulnerable time

“I hate it too. You know it hurts me to know that you hurt and I’m sorry that I can’t take the pain away from you. My sweet, sweet girl I’m so sorry that nobody has given you the chance to hear your voice, to help heal you..but I’m gonna make you the same promise I make you almost every single night. As long as I’m with you, I will try my best with all my power to make it a little bit more bearable for you to be here, and I am so grateful that you are still here and choose to be here with me for us to be together. I know you hurt, but as long as you’re with me, I’m going to do my best to put a smile on your pretty face, beautiful sunshine of a smile because you’re my sunshine.. y-your smile gives me life did you know that?”

You nod. He tells you all the time

“I- I’m tired for wishing to feel ok for my birthdays, every Christmas. All the shirts and posters you got me for Christmas? I haven’t even touched them yet, you know why? Because the selfish person in me doesn’t give a fuck about none of it. The only thing I care about and want and NEED is pain relief and that’s too much to ask for isn’t it? Apparently wanting to be better in the world it’s too much to ask for”

“You deserve to feel better”, he says while his hand travels up your back to rub your tense neck, “You deserve to be free from all of this and I can’t give that to you. You’re not selfish baby you’re hurting. I love you for you. I knew what I was signing up for, and if I didn’t want that I wouldn’t be here right now with you. I know the sacrifices Ill have to make, the tears I’ll have to shed, the strength it’ll take me to pick you up when you’re down, but I fell in love with you, how you are, and who you are”

“Who are you kidding Steve, you don’t even know who I am. The real me. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I wish you met me when I wasn’t sick then maybe you wouldn’t be so stressed out a-and.. and,” you start sobbing again, it’s all too overwhelming

“Hey, hey look at me, no. I met you at the right time. You need me just as much as I need you. You may not think you’re worth nothing but you’re worth everything to me. Yeah you have a good and bad days..—

“I’ve had nothing but bad days for the past few months Steve”-

“I know, I see it, I hear it and I witness it, I may not can feel it, but at the end of it all, you still love me. You’re still here. You still want to cook for me. You still get up to brush your teeth and I’m so proud of you for still trying to care for yourself. That’s the biggest job you’ll ever have, and it’s been a very hard job hasn’t it?

You nod, as he nods with you

“Yeah, it has, but you don’t have to do it alone anymore. I want to provide for you. I want to take care of you. You’re my girl, you deserve so much and as long as I’m with you, I will try every day, every hour, every second or minute, to make sure you know how loved, how great and how amazing you are. How great and amazing you’re doing for yourself and for me. How strong you are”—

—“im tired of having being strong all the time”, interrupting him

“I know you are. You are so strong for being on this earth, even when you don’t want to be. I wouldn’t ask for anybody else, you’re it for me always. Will you continue to let me try to make it better for you every day? To take care of you?”, he squats in front of you, cupping your wet cheeks, kissing your forehead

“But Stevie.. you know you’re getting your own hopes up because nothing you do helps either and I feel like a piece of shit for saying that because”—

“I know what you mean, you don’t have to be sorry. I understand you may not have hope but I do. All my Hope goes towards you and it always will. You are the most important thing in my life. I’m not gonna give up on you, on me or on us, ok sunshine?”

..”okay”, you repeat rubbing your temples

“Head hurt, darling?”

“yes”

“From crying too hard?”

You nod, looking away in shame, “It’s okay, I’ll get your Migrane cap from the freezer and i’ll set your pillows up how you like, just sit tight”, he says it standing then pausing at the doorway, looking over his shoulder, “I love you”

“luv you—

“Hmm? What was that, I couldn’t hear you” he exclaims

“I said love you gosh.. shut up”, you barely crack a smile

That was enough to get him through the rest of the night.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x disabled!reader #steve harrington x ill!reader #tw sui talk #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x gn!reader #tw sick mention #mental health awareness #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x chronically!ill reader #steve harrington x sick reader #steve harrington angst #stranger things #joe keery #chronic pain issues #bpd #spoonie

[mikewheelerlikesboys]

In my opinion one of the biggest byler proofs isnt in the show, or even anything an actor has said. Its the fact that Stranger Things, at its core, is a show about outcasts. Always has been. It was never meant for the straight white rich people.

I’m not saying El hasn’t been through a tremendous amount of trauma, she has, but (and I understand if not everyone agrees) she isn’t an outcast, at least not until season 4. She’s different and special because of her powers, but there’s nothing about her otherwise that would make her an outcast, in fact I think if everyone knew about her powers, she would probably be very popular. Whereas the things that make the others outcasts, (homosexuality, race, disability, tomboyish) are things they would never be popular for in that time period.

El is not relatable In an “outcast” sense, the audience the show was made for can not relate to her in the same ways they might relate to the other kids, because none of us (at least I don’t think, I actually believe in psychic powers bc I’m a nutcase but I digress) have psychic powers, but plenty of us are lgbtq+, black, disabled, tomboyish, etc.

Which leads me to the point, if byler isn’t endgame, Mike is not really an outcast either except by association with his friends. Why would two straight, white, non relatable characters end up being the main endgame couple in a show literally made for outcasts. It wouldn’t make any sense at all.

People forget that this show was literally made for us, it just ended up becoming popular with the normies, it was never really for them and that’s why so many of them only watch for Mike and El and can’t understand the cues and hints towards byler, because they don’t have the mindset the show was created for.

#I really hope this makes sense #I’m not the best at constructing my thoughts into words plz tell me you guys get what I’m saying #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #byler tumblr #stranger things #byler endgame #byler is requited #mike wheeler is gay #byler proof #byler is endgame

[comradekatara]

Toko? I’m interested since their dynamic is so under explored despite a lot of potential!

@leantailean asked: Zuko/Toph?

I definitely think that a lot of work has been put into zuko’s flustered blush in the “i’m going with zuko!” moment, but really, if someone you didn’t know very well grabbed your arm and proudly proclaimed that she wanted to spend time with you, you would get flustered too, assuming you were also the awkwardest boy in the whole world.

I do think their dynamic is very interesting in terms of foilage. toph is in a unique position to empathize with zuko not only because she was never subjected to his violence, but because she is also an abused disabled aristocrat who ran away from home to join the avatar. she’s really only heard about zuko through iroh, so she’s positioned to show him far more affection and understanding than the rest of group, who also foil him of course, but in far less materially concrete ways.

I do imagine them eventually developing a lovely friendship postwar, with toph sort of acting as zuko’s personal lie detector (he needs someone to help him pick up on social cues so bad), but as it stands, there isn’t much there wrt their friendship. toph is the one giving every time (empathy, advice, vulnerability), and zuko never actually gives anything back (besides simply burning her feet, which was an accident, he is also quite rude to her on their pseudo-field trip, which is understandable considering how stressed he is, but also, not great). toph is a very understanding and sympathetic person, but if zuko doesn’t make an effort to be kinder to the twelve year old child who has been nothing but gracious and helpful to him, at some point they will hit a wall.

as for romantic potential, this ship has always kind of baffled me because I truly see none whatsoever (sorry i guess). besides just the age gap, which i’ve already discussed as a sort of nonstarter involving many of these ships, and besides the kind of obvious (to me, at least) fact that they are truly the gayest members of the gaang, there’s the fact that zuko would simply be an awful boyfriend to toph, for the reasons i’ve listed above. to be frank, i don’t even think he knows her name.

i’m not saying i ship tokka, but i don’t really understand why anyone who ships toph with zuko (bad bf, doesn’t care about her, very little onscreen development) doesn’t just ship her with sokka (very good bf, her best friend, the central figure in her life, shielded her with his body from falling debris and held her hand with everything he had at the end of the world as they prepared to die together, etc etc) considering the age gap wouldn’t be a barrier (it is to me of course, but ymmv). i think the only real appeal is that people just wanna smash two fan-favorite characters together without really considering whether it narratively makes sense for them to do so. shrug

#prying-pandora666 #leantailean #asks #toph&zuko #toph #zuko #look. i love disabled homosexuals as much as the next disabled homosexual #but their dynamic is kind of go girl give us nothing #and that’s just platonically

[toyafreethoughts]

Ladies, Gentlemen and Non-Bianary Pals, We delay your regular schedule with a special trade with… @br4inr0tx !!

A/N: Thank you sosoosososo much for doing this! I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed your matchup you made for me <3 (also don’t get mad at me I added yet ANOTHER fandom 😈)

For your Zenless Zero Zone Matchup, You have been paired with…

Billy Kid!

• Since there’s not to much information about him, I’ll be collecting everything I know about him the best I can, But honestly, I see this as a very compatible relationship!

• With his carefree personality he wouldn’t really be very intimidated by you, to your surprise, he’s someone who can get you out of your shell to start talking with him, he’s very interested in you!

• Your humor comes off as “insulting” to others, when you start using that humor with him he’ll pretend to be hurt and pout, but in reality he’s just playing with you.

• He’s probably caught you accidentally staring at him while you were day dreaming, he doesn’t do anything (unless if y’all are in some situation)

• He would definitely buy you so many plushies!

• He’s in love with your style too! Maybe let him wear some of your clothing (nevermind, it’ll probably rip.)

• Even if he’s very silly, he’s also a very serious person (*cough robot*), he will do his best to understand your disabilitys and help you anyway possible.

Round-Ups: Soldier 11, Lycaon

For your Hellsing Matchup, You have been paired with…

Alucard!

• I think I really like this matchup, also with your TPOF matchup too, this one’s definitely a very good one! Even though your a human, if so, he has deep respect for you!

• You guys get together perfectly, People don’t usually come around him for reasons, to put it together, because their scared of him, and the same goes for you since you look like someone who may not be approachable (not true at all, your super cool! — A/N)

• He may feel a bit surprised by your insulting and sarcastic humor, he will do the same back to you, if he hurts your feelings he’ll apologize and tell you he didn’t really mean it at all, and will get you whatever you want, just don’t be so mean.

• He probably thought you were a vampire at first, and (if) you said you weren’t he was very taken back, so your saying those teeth of yours doesn’t have fangs? huh.

• Your style and his own style match each other very well, he may or may not use some of your accessories or perhaps some of your clothing, he will also give you his (long ass) hat.

• Even if he doesn’t seem to show it, he really loves you so much, and he hopes you do too, don’t you?

Round-Ups: None! This is perfect, too perfect

For your Homestuck Matchup, You have been Paired up with…

Karkat Vantas!

• Another good one! I feel like him having a partner like you would be very good!

• He probably won’t approach you first, you may have too, you guys were probably at a party (idk😭), and you guys bumped into each other, you guys didn’t talk much but later on you guys would become friends and later on, lovers.

• Your style matches his very well! he thinks you look so cool!! he just doesn’t show it……. but that’s okay, he’ll always compliment you.

• He’s very caring for you! He understands your mental disability’s and does his best to take care of you, if someone thinks your trying to be “quirky” he’ll kill them off.

• His personality seems to match with yours, like a missing puzzle piece, I think he wouldn’t probably want a partner who has idiocy in them, someone like you is perfect, he loves your humor, you definitely said something and he’s covering up his laughter.

• Please take care of him too! He has a lot of insecurities, he does his best to look out and care for you, do the same too, he just wants some love :,(

Round-Ups: None!

For your Price Of Flesh Matchup, You have been paired with…

Celia!

• The best of the best, an iconic relationship.

• I feel like your another victim, but to her, you seemed to have something, she needed to know, so she took you as her “rat”

• The more and more she spent with you, she started developing feelings, hell, her? having feelings? no way, well, she definitely doesn’t like annoying people, she would probably just kill them immediately.

• Your humor is funny, but sometimes she may not be in the mood for it, be careful if you do so she’ll put you back in the cage.

• Since your a caffeine addict, I’d feel like she would buy you coffee and you guys would just talk really, she doesn’t really care for your mental illnesses but later on she will and she’ll help you too.

• She doesn’t really care about your style to be honest, you’ll see her stealing some of your accessories if you wear them.

• She hates her husband of course, but she’s in love with you so much, you guys are definitely gonna kill him and run away together, just the two of you where you find real love.

• Once that happens, your her new significant lover she’s marrying (but your not hearing that from me though—)

Round-Ups: No one! I love this one so much!

For your Boyfriend to Death Matchup, You have been paired up with…

Sano Kojima

•This one was a little bit difficult for me but I feel like this is a pretty compatible relationship!

• He’s pretty closed off, kind of like you he probably wouldn’t know how to start talking at first, but he does though!

• You we’re supposed to be just one of his experiments that would soon later die, but then you turned out to get into his heart and make him fall for you.

• He LOVES that your into anatomy! you can be his study partner, you guys can experiment on his victims together! Isn’t that romantic? No? What do you mean? Anyways… You would probably help him kidnap some people to work on his experiments, that’s what I think.

• He enjoys your sarcasm very much! it’s what makes you and him more closer with each other, he’s very cold hearted but when you came, you were able to make him warm up too you, and that’s such an amazing thing.

• He would love hearing your shower thoughts, or JUST ANYTHING! He loves giving you plushies just to see you happy, he may be a bit jealous when your not cuddling him, can you cuddle him too?

• He’s just fallen in love with you, he’s making you stay forever, don’t leave now! he wouldn’t wanna kill you after all (:

Round-Ups: Strade.

For your Sally Face Matchup, You have been paired up with…

Larry Johnson!

• I did think of sally for some time, but I feel like he would be more good for you, but I’m gonna add sally to the round ups because he also feels perfect, but not as perfect as him!

• He’s definitely a person who wouldn’t be someone annoying to you, he’s very laid-back like you are! He doesn’t wanna intimidated you easily, so he finds a way to get you to be comfortable around him.

• He would love listening to a lot of metal and rock music with you, but wouldn’t mind also listening to more of your other favorite artists outside the metal/rock genre, he can totally teach you how to play the electric guitar, no need to pay him! your his beloved after all!

• He doesn’t find your mental illnesses “quirky” at all, if anyone ever says that or makes fun of you he will definitely stand up for you, don’t worry about them, he’ll take care of them.

• He would buy you plushies for sure! You guys can play video games on your free time too!

For your Jujustu Kaisen Matchup, You have been paired up with…

Sukuna!

• Don’t get mad at me for adding another fandom😭 I immediately thought of this, I couldn’t get it out of my head how perfect you would be for this man, let me tell you.

• His personality AND yours collides perfectly, including with the rest of your dislikes, he took a liking to you when he layed his eyes on you, he couldn’t get his mind off of you, who are you? why are you making him feel like this? he needs to know you.

• He wouldn’t be someone that would intimidate you, he would try to get you to calm down, he likes that your into a lot of gruesome things like horror, true crime, hunting, etc, you guys are just a powerful couple, he would definitely take you on killing sprees, don’t you wanna kill your enemies with him? how good would that feel?

• He doesn’t care that your a “petty bitch” he’s not that good either, he LOVES your humor so much, he loves you using it, he can’t stand kids either like you, you guys can kill them together! even more romantic! why are you holding grudges? he would tell you to just let them go!

• He finds your style pretty cool, he loves the things you wear, he may even tell you to put on a outfit he may like from your wardrobe!

• Honestly, this is the third 10/10 relationship i wrote for you, Im in love with this pairing, you can’t change it otherwise, you guys are made for each other, remember, he’s never gonna let you go now!

Round-Ups: Toji (Zen’in) Fushiguro, Choso.

#joey posts! #matchup #matchups #zenless zone zero #zenless zone zero matchups #Zenless zone zero matchup #hellsing #alucard hellsing #alucard #hellsing matchup #hellsing matchups #homestuck #homestuck matchup #homestuck matchups #karkat vantas #sally face #sally face matchup #sally face matchups #jujustu kaisen matchups #jujustu kaisen matchup #Jujustu kaisen #sukuna jjk

[philsmeatylegss]

Honestly I can’t keep quiet at this point. This generation and tiktok mostly made autism a fucking quirky trend and it makes me want to slam my head in a wall. I genuinely believe 70% of people online who claim to be autistic are not or either are confusing it with another disorder (on tiktok it’s 95% I’m not remotely exaggerating). iT’s A sPeCtRuM NO SHIT DUMBASS. I fucking grew up with an autistic sibling and I was constantly in other places with autistic kids who were higher and lower on the fucking spectrum. But none of them act remotely like the fuckers on #actuallyautistic on fucking TikTok. Controversial opinion I completely stand behind is that self diagnosis isn’t reliable expect for a few conditions. By that, I mean conditions that have clear cut symptoms. You’re always anxious about everything, you probably do have anxiety. But when it comes to Autism, that’s such a fucking complex disorder that even a lot of doctors don’t fully understand. 100% agree that many women, POC, and those who grew up poor couldn’t get a diagnosis and got it later in life. As I said, I was constantly around autistic kids and most were white men. It’s an absolute mockery and disgrace to those online and in real life who actually suffer with Autism. Including people on the high end of the spectrum! Most of these people say they’re autistic and then list the symptoms of anxiety. It’s not a fucking quirky trait or an excuse. It’s not fucking trendy.

And I can’t say anything like this on platforms like tiktok or id be ripped to shreds. People who have little to no real life experiences or knowledge about Autism attacking someone who was always so close to autism that it fucked me up (I know it’s not my sibling’s fault before you yell at me). I’m fucking tired of it. I’m so fucking tired

Very recently the term “glass child” came out which describes siblings of a child with a physical and or mental disability and or a chronic/life threatening illness. The term comes from the fact that a constant feature of being a glass child is being seen through, forgotten, our voices ignored. And when we, people who have had close years of interactions with these disorders try to explain to you why you might be wrong and you just fucking shut them down, you’re just as bad as the people who ignored me when I was growing up.

It happens on here to. Definitely not as often and definitely not as obvious. But I fucking hate that it’s become a fucking trend on here. Yes, I know it’s a way for those with autism to cope, but a lot of people reblogging it are neurotypical. I’m glad it’s a way to cope, but autism isn’t a fucking funny punchline. It is half of the reason I’m fucked up (once again, I don’t blame my sibling).

Remember in 2020 on mostly tiktok and other face showing platforms being LGBTQ+ was a trend and now people say “I’m glad I’m over that phase?” The same fucking thing is happening now with autism. And what’s worse is that it undermines the credibility of those who are actually suffering with autism. I can promise you in the next few years, there will be tons of posts like “remember when I thought I was autistic? Lol worst period of my life, so cringe.” And then it’ll fall back into obscurity once it stops being a trend and when people forget about pretending to be autistic and no one will give a fuck. It happened with fangirl culture. With being LGBTQ+. Only this is more important and not a fucking trend

Idk if I’ll get hate for this or delete it, but I can’t handle it anymore. This really mostly applies to tiktok, but this happens on every single platform. And it genuinely upsets me and I can’t even point out this problem. For fucking once in my life, LISTEN TO ME. I’ve been there. I was there the whole fucking time. I spent my entire childhood dealing with autism and severe mental illness from my parents. I went to so many doctors with him. I couldn’t chose where I wanted my birthday or celebrations about me because it wouldn’t be good for my sibling. Pictures, lines, family trip were filled with screaming. Leaving events early because my sibling couldn’t handle it. Sitting and waiting for him to stop having a tantrum in my room and having fucking no one ask if I was okay. Having none of my emotional needs met do to Autism and other present mental illnesses from my parents. I KNOW WHAT AUTISM IS LIKE. I SPENT EVERY FUCKING DAY SINCE I WAS BORN TILL I WAS 18 RIGHT NEXT TO AUTISM. I DIDN’T GET A BREAK. I WON’T BE ABLE TO LAUGH IN A FEW YEARS BECAUSE I CLAIMED TO BE AUTISTIC. I’M NOT SURE MY BROTHER WILL BE ABLE TO LIVE ON HIS OWN AND HE’L HAVE TO FUCKING LIVE WITH ME. THAT’S THE FUCKING REALITY. THAT’S WHAT AUTISM IS. IT’S NOT BEING AWKWARD AND SOMETIMES OVERWHELMED BY OBJECTS OR SOUNDS. I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE I WAS THERE. I HAVE 18 FUCKING YEARS OF UNDERSTANDING WHAT AUTISM IS. I’VE BEEN AROUND MANY OTHER AUTISTIC PEOPLE WHEN MY BROTHER NEEDED SERVICES FROM AUTISTIC ONLY PLACES. I COULDN’T FUCKING YAWN FOR YEARS WITHOUT BEING SCREAMED AT. FUCKING YAWNING. AND THEN I WAS ASKED TO STOP YAWNING! THAT IS AUTISM.

My mom works with teens and young adults who are close to the bottom of the spectrum. These children will never be able to have a life. A lot of them don’t talk. Or they only scream or say random words. Some do repetitive actions, often ones that cause injuries. Bigger male student have to be restrained by two or three men because they will not stop hitting themself of breaking property and are unable to stop. That’s what it’s like. At most, Walmart has a program for special needs adults to be baggers. Once they graduate, they live with their parents and then their siblings. Or they go to care home that specializes in autism. We’re fortunate that if it were to come to that case, we would be able to afford a nice one. But most parents or siblings of autistic children don’t have the money to send them to caring facilities. That’s the reality. That’s what you’re claiming to have the same diagnosis as (I KNOW ITS A SPECTRUM). I pity the real autistic people and glass children on platforms on tiktok or really any platform that are having the severity of their illness become a fucking trend.

I’ll probably delete this. But I’m just so fucking upset about it and I’m not fucking allowed to point it out. I wasn’t listened to my entire childhood because of a condition you’re claiming to have. Just for fucking once listen to me

#rae’s rambles #delete later #glass child

[engagemythrusters]

Okay. Watching The Bad Batch for the first time and I’ve only gotten 2/3rds of the way thru the first season thus far, but I feel I now understand the characters well enough to start making conjectures.

So here’s what I’ve got so far:

Due to the inherent Muchness of heightened senses, I wouldn’t doubt a sensory processing disorder for Hunter. It’s clear that he’s gotten a handle on it (aka learned to adapt to, compensate for, and understand it) by the time TBB appears in The Clone Wars, but I bet it was hard to deal with when he was younger.

Wrecker appears to have a developmental/learning/intellectual disability of some sort, compounded by a TBI. He struggles with bigger words and is impulsive, along with other notable markers. This could have stemmed from the accident that left the facial scar and blinded his eye, but it seems that, based on how the other three original bad batch clones act around him, that this has always been a thing. A TBI likely added to this, because he seriously just keeps getting smacked in the head, the poor guy. He’s just a walking headache.

That being said, he likely gets lots of migraines. Seriously, that much head-smacking can’t result in a fun, happy time up in his head, pain-wise. I suspect the other four get them, too. Hunter has to process a lot of information from all senses, and Crosshair from his sight. That’s a lot to deal with, and I know I get headaches from a lot less. Tech… he’s staring at screens all day. Blue-light headaches much? And Echo… he’s literally got so much going on up there, technology wise, that it’s undoubtedly the cause of many a migraine. He’s one bad interface connection from a seizure, practically.

Crosshair has some attachment issues, I think. Like I believe all the clones would, had they not been programmed otherwise. They never got held by a caring individual, for gods sake. Maybe later generations had older brothers to hold them every so often, but that’s not enough. They never got one-on-one care. And, since his programming never kicked in correctly, Crosshair has all of that just shoved into his twig body. So, RAD, due to his obviously avoidant nature.

Tech is autistic and I don’t think that’s debatable, really. Like that textbook autism (which leads to a discussion about his savant nature being paired with a highly autistic-coded character and the harmful impact that could create for us autistic people in real life. The same harm of Wrecker’s disability vs how he’s treated as an ‘it’ in the show (said explicitly by Cid) and how Crosshair, with evident attachment issues, is demonised as the villain. BUT THATS ITS OWN ESSAY TO WRITE.)

Omega has ADHD and that one’s not heavily coded like the rest, but I think it fits!

None of them have true favourite siblings, but each are easier to go to for different things. Hunter, for leadership and emotional advice. Crosshair, for silent understanding (pre-chip activation). Wrecker, for emotional understanding and grounding. Tech, for intellectual advice and rationality. Echo, for interpersonal advice. Omega, for intrapersonal advice and a fresh, new perspective on everything.

I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that Hunter would have the highest, shrillest scream. It doesn’t make sense, but it just seems right (to me personally).

Tech and Echo spend a lot of time on Echo’s implants and prostheses. Echo clearly isn’t using them for their original intent—some not even used at all—so they have to be updated, modified, or taken out. (As evidenced by the—I’m assuming what is a—neural interface he now wears and the lack of other implants he used to have in TCW.)

Echo has chronic pain, due to phantom limbs. That, and it must take a lot out of him for those prostheses. They're melded to him in a way that seems... not user-friendly. Techno Union wasn't doing it because they wanted him to live a fulfilling life. They did it because they needed him. They wouldn't care about his pain. It's unlikely that he doesn't feel constant pain. I'm guessing his everyday average pain level it's equivalent to what normal people (i.e.: people who aren't me or other chronic pain-havers) would consider a 4 out of 10.

I have a feeling that most of them know the basics of swimming, but likely aren’t good at it—Wrecker especially. And, with all that armour, it probably wouldn’t matter if they could swim or not. That shit will absolutely sink them. Omega, once taught, would LOVE IT, though.

Crosshair would let a tooka adopt him. As in, he would let the cat follow him around. Whether or not he’d do anything for or about the tooka… I don’t know. But he’d allow it. (Wrecker would dote on the thing if it followed him. Lula and said tooka would be his best buds. He may like explosions, but he’s a sweet guy at heart!)

Echo and Crosshair have absolutely held staring contests. Asserting dominance. (Somehow, despite not having been involved in the first place, Wrecker has won at least two of them.)

Hunter has a taste for meilooruns. Tech does not.

All of them snore. Echo’s even has an electronic buzzing to it. Tech is absolutely the loudest. Omega has wished to smother them all in their sleep.

#and they’re all Māori xoxo I’m not taking the fucking whitewashing #anyway that and also I really need to do a LONG WINDED ANALYSIS on the affects of handling disability in this show #it’s got a few good things #but mostly bad #(side note: please do not feel the need to agree with all these things! these are personal. if yku reblog you can say which— #—are the ones you do agree with and ignore the rest!) #(and another side note: maybe things like the swimming one will be proved wrong—that’s okay! this is based on the data I currently have #which isn’t much bc we currently only have one full season and two eps of the next as of this point) #(so overall: take with a small grain of salt! these are my headcanons based on current information!) #star wars: the bad batch #the bad batch #tbb #tbb omega #tbb crosshair #tbb wrecker #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb tech #god I have to tag a bunch of shit don’t I cause I don’t know What Is The Right Tags To Use #the bad batch omega #the bad batch hunter #the bad batch wrecker #the bad batch tech #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch echo #clone trooper hunter #clone trooper crosshair #clone trooper wrecker #clone trooper tech #arc trooper echo

[quietly-by-myself]

Shadow By My Fireplace - Chapter 22

Thank you again to @darkthingshappen for taking time out of her day to beta read this!

CW: slavery whump, references to past whump, social anxiety, references to past self-harm, financial anxiety, migraines and misc disability, conditioned whumpee, deconditioning

===

Sacha knew that Cyril dreaded going to town. So, when Cyril announced that he wasn’t just going into town, but that he was taking Sacha with him, Sacha was shocked.

Cyril must’ve seen the shock on his face, because he immediately explained himself.

“I made an appointment for you with an eye doctor. I… um… I have a phone that I have minutes on. Don’t use it enough to justify an unlimited type deal. They were willing to take you in for today. If your vision is really as bad as you say it is, we can get you glasses.”

Again, Sacha was shocked. Glasses? What had he done to earn glasses? 

“I’m sorry, Master, Cyril. I just don’t understand.”

Cyril let out a small sigh. Sacha flinched. 

“Your migraines. They can be made worse if you don’t wear glasses and you need them. Your eye health is part of your health. I’m a doctor. It’s my job to make sure everything is healthy. So, we’re going to get your eyes checked. Okay?”

But I didn’t earn it.

Of course, that little voice in his head that sounded an awful lot like Cyril began to tell him that he didn’t need to earn glasses. Glasses were something people needed, not wanted. Needs were a given and wants were for earning, right?

Sacha didn’t feel completely sure. He’d done well without glasses. Why would he need them? It wasn’t like there was a life beyond slavery for him, anyway.

“Just, Sacha?” Cyril could see that Sacha’s mind was in a different place. Sometimes it was scary how well Cyril knew him.

Sacha nodded, showing he was back at attention.

“You deserve to be cared for. One day, you’ll learn to care for yourself again.” Cyril swallowed. “I won’t abandon you. I swear. But, I want you to be able to be independent again, one day. Glasses are part of that. You’ll have a life again.”

Sacha didn’t believe him. There wasn’t a life beyond slavery for him, not anymore. Maybe, if he’d found Cyril when he hadn’t yet been ruined, there would be hope for him. Sure, he was talking again. Sure, he was able to feel safe around Cyril. Sure, Cyril even said that they weren’t slave and master.

None of it changed his nature - the nature that had been beaten into him by iron and willow. 

“That’s in the far future. But, for now, I just don’t want any incidents like the spilled soup, okay? We’ll get through this together.”

Sacha breathed an inaudible sigh of relief. He couldn’t imagine pretending to be a person again, not so soon. Cyril just wanted to prevent him from messing things up. Well, probably from hurting himself again, now that Sacha thought about it. He’d directly stepped on Cyril’s authority - the authority he used to not hurt Sacha, to protect him and keep him safe. He’d endangered himself.

“Come on, let’s get you showered.”

—

The walk to the eye doctor’s office was agonizing. The stares of the people’s eyes unnerved Sacha as they looked beneath his warm, wintery clothes and onto the scars that laid beneath. Sacha couldn’t help but feel like everyone was looking at him, silently judging him for what had happened.

Did they know that Emery kept him? Did they know who Emery was?

Every time someone spoke, Sacha found himself jumping a bit. How could he be expected to speak to the doctor? How would he face the doctor alone? It would be silly to make Cyril come with him just for an eye exam. He didn’t want to be a burden.

I’ll come with you if it would make you feel safer.

Sacha didn’t know if Cyril meant it in a protective way or in a defensive way. However, he decidedly wouldn’t burden Cyril with his problems anymore than he had to. He would go and see the eye doctor alone. He would do anything to pay Cyril back if he needed glasses.

“We’re here.”

A kind lady at the reception desk greeted them. Sacha didn’t realize that Cyril had booked the visit very late in the afternoon until he saw the lights partially turned off and the empty waiting room.

“You must be Sacha Galanos?”

Sacha realized that Cyril didn’t know his last name or his birthday. How had he booked an appointment for him? 

“Yes, ma’am, I am.”

The lady at the reception desk looked like she must’ve hated Sacha. Wasn’t it normal to call a woman ma’am? Wasn’t that just the polite thing to do? That was something from before Emery. Had he already messed it all up? Was he going to be punished when he got home?

Cyril put a hand on his shoulder, reassuringly, and squeezed a bit. The look in Cyril’s eyes told Sacha that everything was going to be just fine. 

“Alright, the doctor is ready to see you right away. You’re our last appointment of the day, so I apologize for it being so dark.”

“It’s okay.”

Cyril gave Sacha a small look, a question. It was the moment to decide.

Sacha shook his head.

Cyril nodded and moved towards the seats in the waiting room. The receptionist was the one who led him in the back. She left him in a quiet, somewhat dark room.

Next, another woman came in. She was dressed in plain scrubs and had her hair tied back. 

“I need to put eye drops in. The first ones sting and numb your eyes. The next ones will make everything very bright. You’ll need to wear glasses and wait a bit for them to kick in.”

Sacha nodded. He could take pain. He could be good.

She helped him move to a chair where she leaned his head back and put the eye drops in. The first ones stung a lot, but the pain quickly faded beneath his watering eyes. As he blinked away the water in his eyes, he couldn’t feel his eyelid moving over his eye in the strangest way. For a moment, he was scared. Would the feeling ever go away?

“First time?”

“Um, yes.”

“It goes away in about an hour. I’m sorry. It really is a strange feeling, isn’t it?”

Sacha nodded a bit. She smiled at him and hurried to put in the next round of eye drops. 

“The doctor will be in soon,” she told him as she handed him a pair of sunglasses made of plastic and paper.

The doctor came in shortly after and introduced himself. Together, they went over his medical history, why he came in, and what to expect out of the visit. Sacha had never been to doctors much throughout his life, but this felt like standard fare. 

“Sacha, I just have one more question for you.” The doctor paused. “I have to ask this to everyone. Are you safe at home? No one’s hurting you, right?”

Sacha was a little taken aback. At first, he didn’t really know what to think. However, the answer came to him easily.

With a small smile, Sacha responded. “Yes, I am safe at home.”

“Okay, good. Let’s get started then.”

—

Sacha had to explain to the doctor, eventually, that he didn’t understand what he meant, but the man he came with was also a doctor and knew much more. 

The exam was over. His vision was still blurry and the lights felt particularly bright, but Cyril was smiling when Sacha showed up through the door.

“Sacha tells me you’re a doctor, Cyril?”

Cyril nodded, looking at Sacha with the pride of a father watching his baby walk for the first time.

“Sacha has cataracts and is very near-sighted. His vision is 20/150. I highly recommend he get glasses.”

Cyril looked at Sacha, then back up at the doctor with a small look of concern on his face. “Do you know somewhere we could get them done today?”

The doctor looked at Cyril and sighed. “I can have them ready for pickup tomorrow, same time, but it’ll be extra. You can pick your frames now.”

Cyril waved his hand, though Sacha was a little unnerved at the idea of Cyril having to pay more than he needed to for his glasses. Plus, pick his frames? Why did that matter? He was a slave. He should have the cheapest frames possible.

Cyril had a different idea.

“That’s no problem. Thank you for being so accommodating.”

The doctor waved his hand in return. “It’s no problem.”

Sacha could tell that the doctor was very annoyed with Cyril from the twitch in his eyebrow and the sarcasm in his voice. It made Sacha freeze up. Would the doctor hit Cyril? How would Sacha react if that happened?

“Thank you,” was all that Cyril said, nodding a bit before taking Sacha to pick out his frames.

Immediately, Sacha was overwhelmed. There were so many options. However, Sacha’s eyes were immediately drawn to one pair of frames. They had silver temples and rims that were a combination of thin silver on the bottom and dark brown on the top.

The price tag for them read $250. Compared to the other frames, they were certainly more expensive. Sacha instead went to the cheapest ones he could find and brought them over to Cyril.

“These ones.”

Cyril looked conflicted for a moment. 

“Are you sure, Sacha?”

Sacha nodded. Don’t question any further, please.

Cyril went over to the ones that Sacha had wanted. He’d seen Sacha looking at them. Sacha’s heart sank.

“I saw you looking at these and-.” Cyril put them on Sacha’s face. “I think you look a lot better in these. Come look at yourself in the mirror.”

It was true. The other frames were thick and black, made of cheap plastic. These gave his face a nice shape. For once, Sacha looked in the mirror and not only saw himself completely, but thought that he looked good.

He recognized the man in front of him.

“They do look a lot better,” Sacha conceded. 

“Would you rather have these ones?”

Sacha hesitated, then eventually decided to take the risk. “Yes, I would.”

Cyril nodded and smiled. He took the glasses off of Sacha’s face and brought them over to the woman who was working the glasses. “We’ll take these ones.”

As the two left after Cyril finished putting in the order, Cyril smiled over to Sacha. They were alone on the side street that led to the eye doctor’s office.

“I’m proud of you, Sacha. You did really well today.”

Sacha glowed with pride. He’d done well. He’d made a decision and done well. 

Was it really possible that Cyril had told the truth? That he didn’t think of Sacha as a slave?

For once, Sacha allowed himself to hope that it was true.

===

Tags: @whumpsday, @i-can-even-burn-salad, @pigeonwhumps, @darkthingshappen, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @darlingwhump, @maracujatangerine, @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi, @flowersarefreetherapy, @octopus-reactivated, @quietshae, @whump-blog, @inkkswhumpandstuff, @whumpycries, @whumpkinz

#whump #whump writing #cw are above #whumpblr #conditioned whumpee #slavery whump #intimate whumper #creepy whumper #whump fic #whump community #recovery whump #cyril #sacha #shadow by my fireplace

[daaedoodles]

oh my god can you tell me about your wildies little mermaid au

OH MY GOD I WOULD LOVE TO!?

It’s called Song Of The Sea 🤭

Mia is a siren who has a magical necklace that can transform her into a human on land. She doesn’t have magical abilities, unlike other people of her kind, and her voice doesn’t hold any magic. The other sirens rejected her because of this, but now that she’s living on land, the townspeople are afraid of her because there are rumors that she is a witch and she has magic. They avoid talking to her because they fear they’ll be bewitched, so it’s impossible for her to make any friends. The only person she has ever been treated kindly by is Leyla, a nurse working for the royal family who patches her up and gives her a place to stay when she gets beaten up by a bunch of thugs.

Elizabeth is a princess, but not the kind you’d imagine. She seafares, travelling across the ocean everywhere she can to learn more about science and medicine. She is trying to find a cure for her brother Adam, the heir to the throne, as he became sick with a mysterious illness when he was just 20, leaving her as next in line. The townspeople aren’t a huge fan of Elizabeth because they believe her parents shouldn’t let her run so wild and free because she’s a woman, much less a princess, and they believe she’s incapable of leading or being independent because of her disability. It’s very obvious to Elizabeth the townspeople look down on her, even if they never say anything directly.

Ben is Elizabeth’s longtime friend and interpreter who sort of serves a Grimsby type role, helping Elizabeth with whatever she wants and getting dragged along on all her crazy adventures very much against his will (he’s a total scaredy cat)

Lauren is the daughter of a member of the royal court who grew up with Elizabeth. She wanted nothing to do with the politics of high society from a young age, but especially now because her mother is forbidding her from courting Leyla because because she’s a ‘commoner’. She thinks it’s all bullshit.

Elizabeth hears a rumor about Mia and wants to meet her, so Lauren and Leyla bring her. Elizabeth is not afraid of Mia at all, both because she wouldn’t be able to bewitch her anyway, and also because she wants to know if her magic can help Adam. Except, Mia has none. However, Mia knows there is magic where she came from, and that it might be able to help Adam if they are able to find it.

Together, they set off on an adventure to try and find the cure for Adam’s illness. There’s crazy storms, shipwrecks, and lots of trouble along the way when they encounter other not so friendly sea creatures and other sirens. In their time together they realize they’re not so different at all and they’re the only people who seem to truly understand each other. Hearing or deaf, siren or human, they fall in love. Except, when they eventually find the magic they’re looking for, there’s a massive price to pay and neither of them are sure if it’s worth it.

Additionally, Iggy and Martin own the tavern in town that everyone frequents. Floyd is born to a family of longtime royal guards and is well known by the townspeople as a hero. He grew up alongside Lauren and Elizabeth and is friends with them.

#insane but i was thinking of aging max and helen up and having them be elizabeth and adam’s adoptive parents #because they couldn’t have any kids #but now there’s a baby princess luna #song of the sea!au #wildies #new amsterdam #elizabeth wilder #mia castries

[vtforpedro]

personal/med update

My brain is fried mush right now. I survived my disability hearing on Tuesday. It was definitely informal, a little intimidating, but I feel I got through it well enough. My attorney said it’s a toss up because this judge is extremely professional and won’t give any indication and he sure didn’t. The vocational expert narrowed me down to like 3 jobs, then 2, then 1, then 0. I felt that was a good thing? Like am I not disabled if I can’t do any jobs? Either way, my age is working against me so we shall see. It’s very strange that you can be completely disabled and unable to work, but not by US law so they won’t provide aid. Blegh. Gotta wait another 1-3 months for his written decision. ._. Last Thursday, I noticed I had a ‘spot.’ I call them spots b/c I have eczema but I also had a bad ringworm infection in 2015 and called them spots then. Red spots that turn into rings. Anyway thought it was gonna be eczema but by Friday I was covered in many more. Cue me having multiple meltdowns about it interfering with my hearing if it got too bad lmao It didn’t, but it is bad! I had 49 ringworm spots as of last night and they grow in number by day. So, I went to see an NP b/c my dr couldn’t fit me in. Went as well as every other medical professional interaction has, which was terribly, and left me in tears and feeling beat down yet again by the medical field. She wants disabled me, who was bedbound for eight months and currently in PT to recover, to put cream on 49 spots and counting. With IIH and nerve damage that limits my movement and ability to stand for longer than 10-15 min. But she kept interrupting me and wouldn’t let me explain any of this. Her notes said ‘she is not usually terribly active’ so I guess being bedbound translates to that somehow??? She also said I had 3-4 spots on my breasts which is not what she was told by me or what her MA wrote down. lmao so guess who had to message her pcp again!!!!!!!! A completely healthy person can’t be expected to put cream on 49 spots 2x a day. For me, this involves washing my skin since I am unable to shower every day cause of the whole disabled thing. She said a lot more bullshit about my swollen feet and fatigue, so basically I got zero help. It was barely a 10min appt. Fucking hate them, I swear. She refused to give me the oral anti-fungal cause of my other meds, but my mom asked the pharmacist today and she said I’d be fine to take it. The pharmacist asked, unprompted, if an NP, urgent care or ER doctor said no to the oral pill and my mom was like YES! And she said they don’t understand it and won’t give it despite it being used every day even for yeast infections and athlete’s foot. She said her friend went through this shit too trying to get the oral pill. Back in 2015, I suffered this infection for 5mos while applying for health insurance/getting approved/waiting for a pcp because no NP, UC or ER doctor would give me the oral med lmao I saw my new pcp finally and he was like uhhhh no here’s a prescription for it you have way too many spots to worry about putting cream all over your body. Y’all I had been washing my sheets, towels, clothes, taking apple cider vinegar baths, soaking my spots in ACV, then applying one of five or six otc and prescription creams EVERY DAY. I spent two hours twice a day in my bathroom. Ringworm was what I did every day all day for five fucking months. I cannot fathom doing that again. It’s insanity. I was close to a mental breakdown and I only had MH issues back then, none of the physical stuff. I hate it here man Also why do I keep having shit happen every time I turn around. No idea why my feet are swelling, no idea why I have this abnormal fatigue that makes me teary because I sit here and stare at my screen unable to think of anything else but how tired I am. Like for long periods of time. She said to talk to my psychiatrist about it HOOOOOOOO. I woke up this morning and immediately started crying. It’s triggering being treated this way after three years of it. I should’ve waited to see my pcp and used otc in the meantime or something, but my pcp wanted me in asap for my swollen feet so I could get lab orders. Which, according to this NP, ‘there are no labs for swollen feet.’ Where did they get this lady She’s like WHAT ABOUT YOUR LEUKEMIA DID THEY CURE IT? I’m like my chronic, lifelong leukemia? No, it is in remission lmao chronic is right there in the name ma’am. It’s the first word. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m gonna go cry again sorry for ranting I am so so so fucking sick of medical professionals and I cannot wait for it to slow down but my february is completely booked and march is halfway there. Chronic pain life baby!!!!

#vtforpedro personal #vtforpedro medical #long post #rant #we hates them precious #why is this neverending #i could use like a five minute break for christs sake #i have to miss pt until I'm on treatment we know is working too so that's a setback #hhhhhhh

[tachvintlogic]

Whats ur take on Klemper? Heres mine.

Klemper backstory- Died in the 60′s.  A lonely disabled kid(many people headcanon him to be special needs) . His parents were usually busy and none of the other kids ever wanted to play with him because of his disability and social awkwardness, didn’t help that at that time, there was a lot of stigma about those kinds of issues. One Christmas Night, the coldest year it’d ever been, when his folks were out for a party, he watched Frosty The Snowman and got the idea of making his own snowman friend to play with. He went far from his home and the town so the other kids wouldn’t try to destroy his snowman. As he was making his snowman he began to become affected by the cold conditions, to the point he even took off some of his snow clothes to give to the snowman, feeling extremely hot(some people have done this, its called paradoxical undressing I think, when experiencing hypothermia ) . He has absolutely no idea whats happening to him and isnt fully aware of whats going on, but is already quite far from home and still wants to finish his snowman. Before he could give him his hat, he fully succumbed to the cold and died that cold Christmas night. Now as a ghost he haunts, causing huge snow/ice storms, hoping to find a friend to play in the snow with him, forever.

  I’m thinking of making Klemper look like a snowman. Figure it fits the snow theme as well as his backstory. I wrote him to have died in the 60’s as thats when the frosty the snowman movie came out.

So, my take on Klemper is that I don't know what to do with him.

Now, I know what I'd want to do with him, just not how.

Like, we all know that Klemper is portrayed in a way that coded him as high support autistic or mentally disabled. And the show uses that to make fun of him. That's bad.

If I were writing a reboot, I would want Klemper to be portrayed very carefully and want the narrative to treat him with empathy and understanding.

So another thing about autistic representation is that when we're not portrayed as emotionless assholes, the other popular portrayal is the savant who is exceptionally skilled in a specific area. An example is the Good Doctor.

Now, savants are fine, but when they're the most prevalent representation that explicitly autistic, it feels like it's saying that we should treat autistic people well because they have a skill that will allow them to contribute to society that will "make up" the cost of dealing with them. (Even though most autistics aren't savants.)

Implying that whether or not a disabled person should get care and the accommodations they need is somehow tied to "whether they can be productive members of society." That's also bad. Disabled people deserve care, accommodations, empathy, and understanding because of their inherent worth as human beings. As people.

So for Klemper, I wouldn't want him to be revealed to be a savant that somehow "makes up" for his difficulty communicating and high support needs. Klemper deserves kindness and love and care because of his inherent worth as a sentient being, not because he can be "useful."

But I don't know how I would write that. He's a ghost that died of hypothermia and his obsession is making friends because he wasn't able to have friends when he was alive. I don't know where to go from there.

Now your take on how he died is just wonderfully and hauntingly tragic. I loved it. I can see it as the cold open for Klemper's first episode. No explanation of how it's related to the show. Just make the audience watch a kid die in part thanks to the neglect and abuse of the people around him. Beautiful.

#danny phantom #klemper #klemper (danny phantom) #dp reboot #tach's asks

[impeerpressure]

Coming out again, because sometimes that’s important.

Hi. If you know me already, you can skip this first chunk. If you don’t, I’m Ben. I’m a teenage boy from the great midwest. I write, read, play DND and different video games. I like Splatoon and fried rice and fantasy and different futuristic aesthetics. I grew up on dystopian fiction and that’s part of the thing that’s made me so optimistic for a future for people like me. For the minorities, the marginalized, the attacked and abused. We’ve won before and we’ll win again, no matter how long the fight.

I’m a transgender, gay, and asexual boy. It took me a very long time to reach these labels, but now that I have I’m comfortable with them. They may change in the future, but for now, this is who I am.

I came out as bisexual at eight years old. I wasn’t ‘groomed’ into it- I was raised in a straight family with straight grandparents and straight aunts and uncles. None of my neighbors were openly queer and I almost solely consumed straight media. The only reason I was able to figure this out was because I had friends who were already figuring themselves out. The labels they used taught me that there were other options than straight and cis. I was curious and confused and a little hesitant, but that’s normal when you come across things that aren’t common to you. I learned and that was that. I sat down with my mom and told her I was bi and she said “me too.” That was my first realization that people like me were everywhere. We’ve always existed, just maybe not so openly.

I tried different labels and gender identities for years after that. Different pronouns, different names, but nothing quite stuck. Somethings felt better, but nothing felt good. I wrestled with attraction for a while. I’m autistic, and that can cause me to struggle a little with understanding my own feelings. The boys in the area I grew up in were downright cruel, too. I didn’t know any of them that I could possibly be actually attracted to. I was bi, pan, lesbian, aro/ace, pan again- it kept changing. There’s nothing wrong with that. I was testing out labels until I found what felt comfortable and that’s okay. Most self exploration isn’t linear.

And then I grew older and I started meeting boys who actually were decent. Around that time, I was starting to dip closer and closer to he/him pronouns. I was slowly learning that masculinity and boys aren’t inherently evil; the place I was raised in had a strong ‘boys will be boys’ culture. They were expected to be loud and rough and cruel. Then I found boys who wouldn’t make fun of you for your identity or your race or your mental or physical disabilities or simply just for being different. Masculinity isn’t inherently evil and I was allowed to be masculine.

So I let myself try he/him pronouns and a boy’s name and I let myself admit I’m attracted to boys and more masculine people. I still remember how it felt like a weight off my chest when people started using he/him pronouns for me. I started looking at gay ship art and reading gay fiction and once I’d had my fill of projecting myself onto one of those guys, I moved on to just generally queer media. I watched people like me thrive and create and exist exactly as they were.

We were always here, we always will be here. Coming out is one of the scariest queer experiences I can think of, even when it’s just coming out to yourself. But it is worth it, even if you’re the only one who knows. It’s okay to not come out to other people or to only come out to specific people. This is a beautiful, personal part of you and no-one is entitled to it. Never let anyone tell you your identity makes you less deserving of a gorgeous, beautiful, happy life.

#gay #trans #pride #pride month #coming out #lgbtq positivity #lgbtqia pride

[grandmarielaylanen]

Nicole Laylanen

Template made by Epel and edited a tad to add a few things by Me. Also, art is by @virunathestarbaby​ (this is also mentioned later in the post).

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"It's a polyamorous relationship, kindly fuck off"

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Basic Information

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Name: Nicole (Aubrey) Laylanen

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Asexual Biromantic

Date Of Birth: December 26th

Profession: Writer

Age: 123 (at the start of the 17th universe)

Species: Covenant

Hobbies: Baking, writing

Zodiac: Capricorn

Personality: Calm, caring, dishonest, protective, secretive

Flaws: Doesn't think about herself, has a tendency to lie, overthinks

Phobias: Thalassophobia (lakes + rivers, has no problem with ocean), Gephyrophobia (ones over water)

Love Interest: Light Yagami (Laylanen-Yagami) and L Lawliet (Laylanen-Yagami)

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"I know I need to take care of myself but.. but how do I do that? How do I start caring if I'll get hurt? How do.. how do I go back to normal..?"

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Looks

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Hair Length: Down to the middle of her back

Hair Color: Red

Eye Color: Purple

Height: 5'1 ft

Weight: 111 lbs

Tattoos: None

Bandages: None

Scars: On her arms, stomach, on her thighs

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"How... How could you do that to them..? Why.. you fucking tortured them.."

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Techniques/Info

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Stamina:

4/10

Jumping:

3/10

Strength:

5/10

Wisdom:

7/10

Charisma:

4/10

Wealth:

10/10

Intelligence:

7/10

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"God that gremlin really knows how to make someone suffer"

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Clothing

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Normal Clothing: Blue jacket with a black shirt and jeans with gray sneakers

Formal Clothing: Periwinkle dress with black flats

Pajamas: Light blue long sleeve shirt with black pj pants

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"I don't want to go through another universe again! I don't I don't I don't!"

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Health

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Sickness: None

Disorder: Complex PTSD, anxiety, depression

Cancer: None

Diseases: None

Weakness: Light and L

Allergies: None

Asthma: None

Disability: None

Fears: The people she cares about getting hurt or dying, crickets, what Anna's capable of, having to save another universe, Otoha burning down their house + squad house, being tortured again, and she has Thalassophobia + Gephyrophobia

Addiction: Alcohol (I think so?)

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"JUST SHUT UP! Aubrey died years ago when I made the deal. SHE'S GONE, SHE'S NOT ME, HASN'T BEEN ME, DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT!"

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Personality aspects

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Normal Moods: Calm

Patient/Impatient: Both, depends on situation

Anger Management?: Slightly

Three good things about personality:

° Will always help those she cares about

° Caring

° Understanding

Three bad things of personality:

° Doesn't think of the consequences

° Doesn't listen to others

° Is a liar

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"If you don't give up the notebook, I'll off myself. I know you care about me a lot and you wouldn't want to see that happen, would you?"

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Relationships

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Mother: ??? Laylanen

Father: ??? Laylanen

Sister: Kaylee Laylanen

Brother: None

Partner(s): Light and L Laylanen-Yagami

Daughters: Yui, Nakano, and Hana Laylanen

Sons: Makoto Laylanen

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"I'D RATHER NOT HAVE YOU TRY LECTURE ME ON JUSTICE SINCE YOU BECAME A CRAZY MASS MURDERER!"

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Extra

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Backstory: When she was 15 she made a deal with a ghost girl that promised her she would be able to go to different universes, specifically the Death Note universe since it was her favorite anime. She later fails to save everyone in the 1st Death Note universe and figures out she can't go back home because that's her consequence for making the deal she did. Nicole then keeps trying to save Death Note universes up until the 17th one when she finally succeeds.

Home: 17th universe

Dislikes: Anna, being called “Aubrey”, people who hurt people she cares about

Likes: The boys, baking, writing, macaroni and cheese, pierogi, 

Voice Claim: Maaya Sakamoto (Japanese), Erika Harlacher [think of memoryless Kaede] (English)

Theme Playlist: Nicole's Themes

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"Sorry? You can't get a sorry! You just signed your life away over who knows what! The only way to get out of the deal is to give up your power which causes you to die and if you don't want to do that you're stuck living seeing everyone you've cared about die! Touka why the hell did you make a deal?!"

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Art Credits

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@virunathestarbaby

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"Excuse me but what fucking right do you have to be touching him like that?!"

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#nicole laylanen #death note oc #death note

[odinsravendutchess]

I’m disabled. I have ADHD, suspected Autism, multiple autoimmune issues (type 1 diabetes, Sjogrens, Eustachian tube defect, etc) to the point I am in organ failure waiting to be put on the transplant list at Mayo but I have to have a surgery before hand since my immune system wants to attack my whole body.

I was born with an exceptionally rare birth defect called infantile nystagmus.

I have been sick since age 2. I spent my 2nd year of life in a children’s cancer ward because I had a rare bleeding disorder called ITP and back in the 80’s they thought it automatically lead to me getting leukemia. I got to go home on my 3rd birthday.

I legit don’t know a life of not being sick/disabled.

I am a mom of neuro-divergent kiddos, a wife and a health care professional specialized in high risk pediatrics.

I don’t waste my time explaining things to neurotypical people because it’s none of their business and my energy is precious so why waste it?

I am extremely literal to the point my husband struggles with communicating with me because I mean what I say and say what I mean. He makes assumptions, like I have emotional meaning to what I say when I don’t. I tell him he has epic vagina moments because I am not touchy feely emotional like the other women he knows. He also wants to give a speech and I want him to get to the point. I don’t need a 47 page paper with the most important part only being in the conclusion.

I was born into a world not made for me.

I’m living my life to the best of my abilities.

However I have thought about getting an air horn for when people try to be confrontational about things.

No response is a response, but so is the sound an air horn makes. Whatever response I give won’t make them understand because they will never be in my body.

I am mean. I will not apologize for how I am. I will not accept someone giving me a hard time over it either.

Big ableism experiences I have had when my body was more functional than it is now;

I have PCOS. After I was diagnosed at age 15 I got sick almost on a daily basis due to my abdomen hurting badly. So I went to the school nurses office to lay down until my mom or a family friend could come take me home because my doctor told me, when I was diagnosed with PCOS, I don’t need to be in school with the level of pain I was having since there was no reasonable way I was going to learn anything. The school nurse gave me a hard time and told me to my face that if I was her child she wouldn’t come get me from school. It felt like someone was stabbing my abdomen because I had PCOS aka my ovaries were double clustered in cysts and I had undiagnosed endometriosis. I told my primary care doctor what the nurse said to me so my doctor called the school nurse and told her off. The next time I had severe abdominal pain, the nurse apologized to me for what she had previously said.

That same year, I had to go see a doctor 2 hours away to get on a PCOS treatment that worked for me. It was a special shot and it required special education that only a specialist could get or something. I had to take a day off from school once a month so I could get the shot that made it so I could not be in pain and so my hormones did their job. A teacher gave me a hard time over it because he thought that was ridiculous. So I told my primary care doctor, the doctor that diagnosed me with PCOS. She called the school and told off the principal over it. The principal told off the teacher giving me a hard time. The teacher apologized to me.

The school nurse and the teacher assumed I was faking being in pain and having health issues. It comes down to them trying to get me to go against doctors orders which would be them practicing medicine without a license. My doctor was none having any of that.

#possibly autistic #autoimmune problems #autistic community #autistic #neurodiversesquad #ADHD #medically complex #the dutchess has spoken #the dutchess #chronically ill #type 1 diabetes #type 1 diabetic