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#not to mention romanogers
letstrywritingmaybe · 10 months
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I am a fangirl first and foremost. Which means I take my role as a reader/supporter very seriously! So naturally I’m participating in @justleaveacommentfest even though ao3 is being wonky. But I’ll shall add to this post as I continue to read (perhaps reread too) and comment for all of my otps (and ships I guess since det co is a weird spot for me)
I have a habit of checking out profiles on ao3, and if a tumblr handle is mentioned I like to tag the author to give them the praise they deserve. But if you’re not cool with that, please let me know and I shall remove the tag
7/10 theme is old fics/new fics:
💛 Romanogers- Take a Time Out by brandnewsoul ( @viewparadise ) posted in 2012!
💛 You and I Walk a Fragile Line by YoureNotDoneFighting posted this year 2023! (On last kiss day!!!)
💚 RobStar- Robin versus the Christmas Shopping by Dahlia_Moon ( @maychild ) posted in 2010!
💚 Someone Important To You by FireMane15 posted this year 2023!
❤️ Duncney- Unexpected by Person posted in 2010!
❤️ Redemption’s Promise by weforgottyler posted this year 2023!
💜 Zutara- aupilaktunnguat by sunandmoongobrr technically 2005? Idk
💜 I Can See You by drakonium (drakonic) posted this year 2023! (On last kiss day!!!)
🖤🤍 Ichiruki- Alone in a Room by tokyofish posted 2004?
🖤🤍 Invisible Monsters by KeiraRyan33 posted this year 2023!
7/11 theme is < 2k words:
💛 Aftermath by angelic_violets ( @starcrossedsongs ) word count: 347
💚 Language barrier by Pachirisu_2014 word count: 773
❤️ It’s A Sign! by the_type_a ( @the-type-a ) word count: 660
💜 Momo and Appa are tired of Zutara by ILoveReadingRomance word count: 480
🖤🤍 Hero and Heroine by kleinegirl87 word count: 478
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talesofely · 2 months
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Happier.
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Pairings : Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Steve Rogers
Summary : Your ex-girlfriend, Natasha, seems happier with her new man than she was with you. Or is she? (summaries r my biggest weakness, if it isn't obvious yet)
Warnings : Angst, Fluff (?), a talesofely ending (i'm not sorry 😓), swearing, mentions of romanogers, uses Y/N twice, pls tell me if u see anything else
Word count : 1.1k
Note : not a big fan of romanogers, so this kinda hurts to write 😭
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You were walking down a familiar street. You weren't sure if it was the 29th street or the street close to the park. It was a dark and cold night, ones you used to enjoy a lot. You used to love walking around at night, the serenity and calmness it brought was something you cherished a lot. Everything changed due to a certain situation a month ago tho.
Your feet stopped moving when your eyes spotted a newly opened restaurant. It wasn't supposed to be that big of a deal, until you saw a couple walk out. It was Steve Rogers, and Natasha. She was wrapped in Steve's arms as they walked out of the restaurant into the peaceful night road.
You bit your lower lip to calm yourself down. It's only been a month since you two broke up, how could she move on so fast?
You didn't know why you decided to follow them. All you knew was that you were a few feet behind them, watching as Steve said something that made Natasha laugh.
They were headed to a bar. You entered a few minutes after them, immediately spotting them at a small bar table. You subsequently sat on the table on the corner.
It was bittersweet to see them smiling so widely, like they were so inlove. Your eyes subconsciously landed on Natasha. She looks happy. Happier than she was with you.
You smiled sadly. Seeing her like this brought you joy and sadness at the same time. Joy, 'cause seeing her smile always made you happy. Sadness, 'cause you aren't the reason for her smile anymore.
You knew you were also at fault. She hurt you without knowing, and you hurt her for it. Your break up was messy. It was a decision made in the heat of the moment. She dared you to walk away, to leave her alone, and you did.
But you also knew you loved her more than yourself. You treated her like how Carl treated Ellie in the movie Up. Apparently, she doesn't love you as much as you loved her, as she was moving on faster than you could've ever done.
You didn't mind, tho. Especially when you saw how happy she looked with Steve. Who were you to prevent her from having that kind of happiness?
You bit your lower lip and ducked your head, not having the guts to watch the love of your life in another's arms.
You felt a soft tap on your arm after a few minutes. You looked up to see your friends from work, smiling sympathetically at you. They sat at the table you were in, wordlessly buying bottles of alcohol for all of you.
They gave you a bottle of Natasha's favorite beer. Instinctively, you passed it to Natasha that was supposed to be beside you. You froze and sighed deeply when you remembered.
You finished the beer bottle faster than usual. You had high alcohol tolerance, but you didn't drink too much before 'cause you wanted to stay sober for Natasha. You nursed the empty bottle as you stared at your only reason to live being someone else's.
"Stop sulking, Y/N. I know how much you love her, but you shouldn't act like it's the end of your life end just because she left." Scarlett, one of your friends, said with a small smile.
"Yeah, babes, you'll find someone else that'll make you feel the same way—if not more than you did with Natasha." Lizzie gave you a small hug, trying her best to comfort you.
"I appreciate it, guys, really... but I don't think I'll ever find someone who I won't compare to Natasha. She's it for me." You responded with a bittersweet smile, watching as Natasha laughed at another one of Steve's jokes. It made you wonder how funny they really were to make her laugh that much.
"Jeremy, you're friends with Clint, right?" The said man nodded, looking at you in confusion.
"Don't mention my name, but please ask him to tell Natasha, that if he breaks her heart... I'll always be here, waiting patiently for her. No matter what." You sighed deeply seeing the couple stand up, and got ready to leave. You drank the last of your drink before ordering another bottle.
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"Hey, Nat, have you heard?" Clint asked as he entered the kitchen where Natasha was coincidentally in.
"Heard about what?"
"Y/N finally released a single. Tony's going to play it tonight."
Natasha's brows furrowed in confusion, searching her best friend's face for any signs of playfulness but found nothing.
"What's it called?"
"Happier."
Natasha bit her lower lip, as she nodded, trying to act like she didn't care about it. Based on the title, she figured it was about being happier without her.
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The avengers settled down in the common room, all ready to hear your first single.
"Ready?" Tony played the recording despite Sam's small "Wait." as he ran to the kitchen to grab a snack.
When your voice came through the speaker as you sang the first line, Natasha felt her heart clench. Oh how she missed your voice, your lullabies when she nightmares hinder her from sleep, and your soft singing as you danced with her around the kitchen in the refrigerator light at 3am.
As the song continued, Natasha realized the lyrics were about her. About your previous relationship. About... missing her.
Not only that, but the information on the lyrics were almost the same as the night she went out with Steve. 29th and Park, a month, a bar, corner of the room, empty bottle... Shit. You saw her.
Her panicking eyes met Steve's equally surprised ones. She immediately took her phone out, despite the song not even ending yet. She cursed when she was brought straight to voice mail. This doesn't stop her from calling you multiple times again though.
Clint looked at Natasha in realization, only then remembering and realizing what Jeremy's cryptic message was about.
So you were the 'she' he was talking about.
The archer approached his best friend, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Nat." He called her attention, only to be answered by a hum and glossy eyes from her.
"Jeremy, one of Y/N's friend, talked to me yesterday. He told me to tell you that, 'She'll always be there, waiting patiently for you. No matter what.'" He said quietly, trying to not attract unwanted attention to the now silently crying spy, knowing how much she hates others seeing her vulnerable side.
If only you picked up her calls, if only you read her texts, if only she knew your address, if only she knew you were there that day... she would've approached you and told you that it wasn't real. It was a mission. A mere undercover mission.
If only you knew that her heart still is, and will always be, yours.
If only you knew that she will only truly be happy with you.
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Note : i'm sorry...? part 2 or naaahh? i kinda like this ending:> btw, i used this to cure my writer's block so BAHHAHAHAHA enjoyyy! mwaAaAaAaA:3
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natrogersfics · 4 months
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So It Goes... - A Romanogers Oneshot
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Artwork by @faith2nyc Read on AO3 Never compromise your client. If there was ever a golden rule in private security that should not be bent, it’s this one. When it comes to the person you’re assigned to serve and protect, you are not to touch. You are not to get too close. And you are definitely not to wonder what her cherry-lacquered lips taste like.
Those are the rules, and the point of rules is to follow them. It’s a value that was instilled in Steve during his time in the Army, and it’s this same value he’s founded his company upon – a company he’s not only proud of, but also one that’s responsible for the livelihoods of dozens of employees. If only for that reason alone, he knows that he must remain steadfast. A professional.
As he enters the elevator, though, every reason he’s just ruminated on becomes that much more difficult to remember. Next to him, Natasha stands silently, looking every bit the sight that she is in a black silk dress and a crisp white coat draped over her shoulders. The doors whizz shut, and as the car begins to ascend to her penthouse, the familiar scent of her lavender perfume fills his senses, and he has to clench both his hands into fists to fight off every urge he has to reach out to her.
Natasha Romanoff is his job. Ensuring she’s safe and that she remains safe is his mission, and because of that, he can’t be thinking of her this way. And, more saliently, he can’t take any of the events this evening personally.
Only problem is, everything about this job has felt personal from the outset. He couldn’t explain it, but from the moment her parents had approached him, seeking his company’s services to protect their daughter from the stalker who had already evaded security once, deftly slipping past them to hold Natasha at knifepoint in the very elevator bank they were just standing in, all he’s ever thought about is never again. Never again would someone get the opportunity to harm her. Not if he had anything to do about it.
Then he met her. Just as he had done for every new client, he had done his research. As one of the children adopted by Alexei and Melina Shostakov, she was one of the heirs to Red Guardian Realty, the largest real estate conglomerate in the country. It didn’t come as a surprise that she had attended the most prestigious schools, graduating top of her class at university and adding accomplished ballerina on top of an already impressive resume. In his experience, when it came to dealing with society’s upper echelon, that merely came with the territory. What did catch his attention, though, was the fact that he couldn’t find much else. Unlike the rest of her siblings whose faces were plastered across the tabloids every week, details about Natasha’s personal life remained elusive. He had seen pictures of her, of course, mostly next to her parents at official events, but none of those quite did her justice – none of them quite capturing how captivating her smile actually is or how her presence could command the attention of an entire room despite her petite frame. And that’s not to mention her eyes, verdant as the forest in the Summer and bright as day. He wishes he could say it was something as rudimentary as instant attraction, but even that didn’t feel encompassing enough to describe the need he felt to protect her the second his eyes met hers.
And it’s what he’s done for the last three hundred and eighty-nine days since. For more than a year, he’s been by her side, getting to know her. Keeping her out of harm’s way. Uncovering the various layers of Natasha Romanoff – the woman, who despite growing up in extreme privilege and largesse, has never treated anyone as anything but her equal. Who would go out of her way in a heartbeat to take care of those she cared about.
The more he got to know her, the more personal his mission became. And as much as he hates to admit it, she’s become more than just his job. At the very least, he had come to see her as a friend. A confidant. He convinces himself that that’s why the events of tonight have felt so personal, the ire from what he had seen unfold slowly but surely clawing its way under his skin. That’s the thing about being by Natasha’s side as often as he is. It’s like getting a front row seat to everything that happens to her. Sometimes it’s as joyous as the children at the orphanage she frequents running into her arms the second she drops by for a visit. Other times, like tonight, it’s watching the unfair way she’s treated, and hearing the vile things spewed her way.
His thoughts are interrupted by a touch as light as a feather. He stills, looking forward at the reflection on the brushed metals doors to see that Natasha’s stepped closer to him, her fingers working to unclench his fist.
“Natasha,” he whispers, but whether it’s in warning or relief, he’s unsure. Luckily, he doesn’t have to linger on the question for too long as the elevator dings, signaling their arrival on her floor. He gestures to the doors as they slide open. “After you.”
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This isn’t her. The thought rushes through Natasha as she leads Steve down the hall and to her suite. If there is one thing she didn’t do, it’s get involved with the people on her payroll. And that’s what Steve Rogers is – a person paid to keep her safe.
If only that were the whole truth.
In reality, he’s also the person she’s spent the most time with in the last year, his ever looming presence giving her the peace of mind she’s had to go without for longer than she cares to admit. Gone were the days of her looking over her shoulder, of her stomach feeling unsettled over the idea that there were unwanted eyes on her. Not that the scrutiny ever went away, of course. For as long as she can recall, that’s been part of her life. The unintended consequence of her privilege. Now, though, she could rest easy knowing that she also had Steve’s eyes, his sharp, watchful gaze looking out for her.
But it’s not only Steve’s presence that’s allowed her to revel in safety. She was still reeling from her brush with her stalker when her parents had hired Steve, and even with him shadowing her, she knew that if she was ever going to live without fear ever again, she needed to learn to defend herself. To never feel the helplessness she felt that night as that mad man pressed a blade to her skin. Her parents were less than thrilled with the idea (let Steve do his job, her mother had insisted), but much to her surprise, Steve was very much all in. And so began their weekly ritual. Every Wednesday after work, Steve would train her to fight, teaching her all the ways she could protect herself.
If she had to think of the moment she felt her relationship with Steve begin to shift, it was here. Maybe it was the late hour or the exhaustion from the day, but she found that Steve was more willing to let his guard down after those sessions. It’s as they were sitting on the mats, trying to catch their breath between sets at the gym, that she learned all the details about him that she’s grown to admire, like how big an influence his father was in his choice to join the Army. How much he missed his mom. What a little shit he could be with a quip.
Before she really knew it, Steve had become more than just her bodyguard. He had become her sounding board, and she trusted him implicitly – which was more than she could say about some people she called family.
Families were complicated, but hers was a little more so. Their parents had loved them fiercely, of that there was no doubt. But she and her siblings were all cut from different cloths, and after that fateful car crash that had suddenly taken their parents, the very glue that held them together, that couldn’t be more apparent. Those differences were on full display tonight at the first board meeting since their parents’ passing. Weeks of anticipation had ended with the board announcing that they had selected her to be the next CEO, her father’s successor. Her sisters were practically apathetic – Yelena shrugged, and while Antonia rolled her eyes, she said nothing more. Her brothers, though, were incandescent. Helmut had branded her a manipulative snake. But it was John who had the most to say, all but accusing her of sleeping her way into the position. Not that she was the least bit surprised. Of all her siblings, their relationship had always had the most friction. They had been adopted practically at the same time, at the same age, and knowingly or not, were pitted against each other for the same things. So when he had the audacity to level such accusations at her tonight, it hadn’t come as a shock.
What did come as a shock was Steve’s reaction. He was standing by the door of the conference room, but from her periphery, she caught the way his entire demeanor went rigid the second her brothers had voiced their outrage. On the car ride back to her building, he remained silent, only speaking into his ear piece to alert the rest of his team of their impending arrival. Otherwise, he gazed out the windshield pensively, his jaw set. The tension that had found its way to his shoulders had never subsided either, and she’s certain if she looked back at him now, she could still find it in his stance.
She couldn’t lie. The idea of this man, who she had come to know as the very epitome of composure and level-headedness, getting incensed on her behalf… it did things to her. While she prided herself in being a consummate professional, with Steve, she found that to be an arduous task. As anyone with a pulse and a pair of eyes could deduce, with his broad shoulders, strong arms, and blue eyes so intense it made you feel as though you were being swallowed whole by the ocean, Steve Rogers was a specimen. Couple that with the fact that she has never felt safer in someone’s presence than when she’s around his, and well. It’s no wonder that this man has been the star of her filthiest dreams for months.
As they near her door, she reaches for her keys in her coat pocket, letting her mind wander back to Steve’s reaction to her touch in the elevator mere moments ago. She bites her lip as she recalls the way he had said her name, as though he was at odds with himself, trying to keep himself together. She wonders how quick he would be to keep his composure if he knew every which way she has thought of his lips on hers, of his hands on her body, and his weight holding her down.
Lost in her thoughts, she doesn’t realize that her keys have slipped from her grasp until she sees a flash of movement as Steve reaches out in front of her, catching them in his palm. Not that she’s surprised. His eyes are never not on her, watching her, and though she knows he’s just doing his job, secretly, she savors it. When she finally looks up at him, the concern that’s been pooling in his eyes all night has somehow intensified, and she finds herself holding in a breath at their sudden proximity. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she says, but the tightness in his expression tells her he doesn’t quite believe her. She mumbles a thanks as she takes her keys back from him, and as they make it to her door, she waits. If all the nights he’s walked her to this very spot were anything to go by, this is where he leaves her. But as she pushes the key into the lock, he remains rooted in place, and a rush of excitement fills her chest as she opens the door to her suite.
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He should turn around now. The idea gnaws away at him even as he nods at Bucky at the opposite end of the hall, officially passing the night shift onto his colleague. But even so, like a moth to a flame, he finds himself following Natasha inside.
“Thank you,” she says as they cross the threshold and he helps her shrug out of her coat. He nods in acknowledgement, stowing it away. “Can I pour you a drink?”
He looks to see that she’s made her way to the living room, glancing at him from over her shoulder as she stands by the credenza, one hand already on the decanter. “I’m still on the clock.”
“That’s what you always say,” she says cheekily, turning her attention back to the crystal before her. It could end here, he tells himself. He could bid her goodnight, turn around, and make his way back home the way he’s done every night. Instead, he pads forward still. “Besides, I saw James out there. As far as I’m concerned, you’re off duty.”
“Is that an order?” he asks as he comes to stand next to her, eyeing the two tumblers she now has in her hands.
The corner of her lips turns up in a sly grin. “It could be.”
He shakes his head, biting back a groan. “Natasha-”
“Please?”
The way she’s looking at him from underneath the fan of her darkened lashes is just not fair. The spark in her eyes is Goliath, and his self-restraint, what little remains of it anyway, is merely David. He sighs in concession. “One drink.”
“One drink,” she parrots, her expression lighting up in victory as she extends the other drink towards him. It wasn’t a secret to him that she’s fond of winning. What is novel is the effervescent feeling that rushes through him knowing he’s letting her, and it’s one he finds he could dangerously get addicted to. They clink glasses before taking a sip, and he relishes the familiar burn of liquor down his throat. “Besides,” she says a beat later, “if a nearly hundred year old scotch can’t turn that frown upside down, what will?” His lips press into a hard line at that, and he watches the way she tilts her head to the side. “Want to tell me what that’s about?”
He wants to. God knows the words have been hanging on the tip of his tongue the entire night, begging to be said. He so desperately wants to tell her that her brothers are low lives. That she deserves better. That it kills him that he couldn’t say or do anything in her defense because not only does she not need him to fight her battles, but also it’s simply not his place. This isn’t a discussion a bodyguard has with his client, which is why he settles for, “Your brothers are a piece of work.”
She hums in agreement. “You knew that, though.”
He did. Her brothers may have never had the audacity to speak to her the way they did tonight when their parents were still around, but the animosity has always been palpable from their backhanded comments to the outright callousness with which they viewed the situation with her stalker, practically ridiculing Natasha for needing round-the-clock security. The latter makes his blood boil – the idea that they think their sister’s safety is something to trivialize, and this time, he isn’t able to hold back. “I should’ve beat John to a pulp.”
The regret sets in the second the words leave his mouth, and he admonishes himself internally. His lips part to apologize, but before he can, Natasha chuckles. “Believe me, he isn’t worth the bruised knuckles or the assault charge.”
“Maybe I’d like to be the judge of that.”
“Such a man,” she says teasingly, taking another sip of her drink.
For the first time since they entered the conference room this evening, he feels his lips lifting into a little smile. If Natasha could find levity in the situation, shrug it off, surely he could, too. And perhaps it’s the liquid courage giving him the audacity to do so, but before he lets the subject go completely, he finds himself finally asking the one question that’s been eating away at him all night. “Natasha, why didn’t you say anything?”
She’s silent for a while, her eyes studying his face. What she’s searching for, he’s unsure. Nevertheless, he holds her gaze, waiting, because none of the events tonight made sense to him. He’s been with her in countless meetings this year, some of which have bordered on incendiary, and while she’s not one to be prone to an outburst, she also doesn’t turn the other cheek the way she did in front of her family tonight.
Eventually, Natasha shrugs. “Because there’s no point.”
“No point?” he asks. “Natasha, I don’t understand.” He’s overstepping now, he knows, but the words slip from his lips just the same. “They shouldn’t be able to speak about you that way! None of what they said is true. The board chose you because you earned it. You submitted the best proposal to take the company forward, not them! And they have the audacity-”
“What choice do I have, Steve?” Natasha interrupts, and for a moment, he can only stand there, frozen, taken aback by her question. As she stares at him, the playful mood she’s been intent on upholding dissipates, and she sighs. “I know none of what my brothers say or think about me is true, but what choice do I have but to take it?”
His brows furrow in confusion. “Natasha, you’re allowed to defend yourself.”
“I wish that were true,” she says, smiling ruefully. “I want this job because I care about continuing my parents’ legacy. But the board?” The resentment in her tone is clear as day she adds, “all they care about is making it seem like there was a clear succession plan so our stock price doesn’t dip.” Her shoulders lift as she scoffs. “If I react… If I so much as show them that my brothers get under my skin, I’m too emotional. Too soft to run this company. But if I respond in kind… I’m a bitch that’ll run it to the ground out of spite.” She shakes her head. “Much as I’d like to wipe that smug look off John’s face, I have to play the long game.”
“Natasha…” he says, placing his drink down on the credenza. He’s been so lost in his anger tonight that he forgot, momentarily, that the stakes are, and have always been, different for her. It wasn’t fair, but the bar for her has always been higher, the fall from the top always steeper. It’s why she’s careful to keep as much of her private life out of the press. Why she meticulously plans her every move, demanding perfection of herself even as her siblings – her brothers, especially – are given seemingly endless leeway for their transgressions. He steps closer to her, putting a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be.”
Her eyes go from the hand he has on her arm to his face. “It is,” she says, agreeing to the sentiment without any specifics. Somehow, that pulls even more at his heart strings. Because it’s all of it, all the time, he realizes.
He sighs. “I wish-”
He doesn’t get to finish his thought as she pushes on the tips of her toes, pressing her lips to his. The kiss is soft, sweet, tender. She pulls away a moment too soon, but not soon enough for him not to catch a taste of the heady mix that’s her lipstick, the scotch, and something uniquely Natasha.
“I’m sorry,” Natasha says a beat later when the silence between them lingers. “I thought-”
A growl rips from the back of his throat, and before he can stop himself, his hands come up to cup her face as he pulls her into a searing kiss. The tumbler in hand falls from her grasp, hitting the ground and shattering into a million pieces by their feet, but neither of them pay it any mind as he backs them towards the nearest wall.
“I want you,” he confesses, exhaling deeply as he leans his forehead against hers, “so much I can barely think straight. Barely breathe.”
Her hands wrap around him, pulling him closer. “It’s the same for me.”
“Fuck,” the curse falls unbidden from his lips as he hears her confirm their mutual longing. As absurd as it seems at this moment, he could still put a stop to all this. They’re both toeing the line, but with one step back, he still could pull them away from it. Go back to what they were, what they ought to be. Client and bodyguard. Business associates. Friends. He could tell himself that what they’re doing is wrong, verboten. But as he looks down at her, he finds that he can’t. He doesn’t want to. Because there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that feels wrong about having Natasha Romanoff in his arms. Whatever line there is, he’s sprinting well and truly past it.
“What do you want me to do, Nat?” There’s a part of him that already knows the answer. Even so, he wants – needs – to hear her say it.
Her eyes twinkle, and her response is the gush of wind that sends the house of cards that’s his restraint crumbling. “Kiss me.”
With that, he finds her lips again, kissing her passionately as if one kiss could make up for months and months of not having her. He doesn’t hold back, and based on the way she gasps, her hands finding purchase on his arms, squeezing tightly, he suspects that she doesn’t want him to. It’s when he takes her hands, pinning them above her head with his own as his lips find their way down to her neck that she cries out, voicing her approval when he pushes his pelvis flush against her, letting her feel the effect she has on him.
“Been wanting this for so long,” she says, and when he looks back up at her, her eyes are dazed as she tries to catch her breath.
He lowers one hand to her face, running his thumb over her cheek as he, too, forces air into his lungs. “Yeah?”
She nods, swallowing hard. “Every night when you go home, I keep thinking you’ll come back. Bring me to bed.”
His hands slide down to her waist, digging into the silk of her dress. “Then what do I do, Nat?”
“You take me hard and dirty,” she says without an ounce of hesitation. “So much that every time I move, all I can think about is you.”
He groans her name, stealing the breath right out of her lungs with another bruising kiss. “You’re all I think about when I come home, too.” He trails his lips up her jaw, to the shell of her ear to whisper, “I spread you out on my bed, kiss every inch of your skin until you’re begging me to let you come.” His words elicit a moan from her, and he feels her nails dig into his biceps through the material of his button up. “I’ll take you any way you want me to, Nat. Hard, dirty, rough… All you have to do is tell me.”
She shudders in his hold, and he pulls away just enough to see her expression drunk with unadulterated lust. There’s a mischievous glint in her eye as she contemplates the possibilities. “I don’t want to think. I just want to feel.” She brings her arms up, wrapping it around his neck. “Tell me how I want to be fucked, Steve.”
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Months of wanting, months of wondering… They’ve all led to this very moment, and as she looks out into the expanse of the room, illuminated only by the glow of the skyline filtering in from the panel of floor-to-ceiling windows right across, she feels her heart race in anticipation.
“Quite the view you’ve chosen here,” she says, her voice sounding breathier than usual even to her own ears. She wasn’t sure where they were headed when Steve had scooped her up into his arms, and in all honesty, she didn’t quite care. But the second he had crossed the hall into her office, it’s as if a fresh wave of desire shot straight through her veins.
“Hadn’t noticed,” Steve says from where he stands behind her, crowding her against the desk. His hands find the thin straps of her dress, and she can’t help the shiver that runs down her spine when he pushes them off her shoulders.
“Why are we here, Steve?” she finds herself asking, sucking in a breath as he begins to pull on her zipper. As it reaches the end, the garment slinks down her body, the material shimmering in the dark in a pool by her feet. He mutters a curse under his breath, and feeling emboldened, she turns around. The first thing she notices is that he’s shed his suit jacket, draped it on the back of her chair, but she can only glance at it fleetingly because the second she looks at his face, her stomach flutters. His typically bright eyes have gone dark, the hunger evident in them as he takes in the sight of her standing before him in nothing but a lacy black thong and heels. “You know, if you keep staring at me like that, I’m going to start feeling a tad obscene.”
“You don’t stare at a work of art,” he counters. “You admire it.” Heat rushes to her cheeks, and inwardly, she marvels at the irony. Here she is, standing before this man in nearly nothing, and somehow, it’s his words that have her blushing. She bites back a smile, trying to busy herself by stepping out of her heels when she feels his fingers encircle her wrist. There’s a devious glint in his eyes when she looks up. “Leave them on.”
She arches a brow in intrigue, but doesn’t question the request. “You still haven’t answered my question.”
The grin that creeps onto his lips is trouble personified, and she finds herself holding her breath as he steps forward, erasing what little distance was left between them. “You told me to tell you how you want to be fucked,” he says, reaching for her waist and making her gasp as he hoists her up onto her desk as if she weighs nothing. He nudges her knees apart, standing between her legs and whispering down into her ear. “You want it hard, Nat.” She bites her lip, goosebumps prickling her skin as his breath dances across it, and she’s so entranced by his words that she doesn’t even realize he’s pulled on the pin of her bun until it comes loose at the base of her neck, her hair cascading down her back like a crimson waterfall. “You want it so rough you’ll feel me for days.” Her eyes fall shut when he leans down to press a kiss to her pulse, and as his other hand trails up, cupping her breast and making her nipple pebble underneath his ministrations, she can only throw her head back. “And I think you might even want it to hurt a little.”
He tugs on her nipple, making her gasp, and instantly, she feels herself grow wetter between her legs. “God, yes.”
“Is that what you want?”
She leans further into his touch. “That’s exactly what I want.”
He smiles against her skin. “And that’s what you’ll get,” he promises. “But first, I think you want me to spread you out on this desk…” He pulls away enough to look at her, tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear with his free hand. The gesture is so tender, the complete and polar opposite of what he’s promising to do to her right now, that it makes her head spin. “Eat you out right where you spend your days telling people what to do, making all those important decisions… Tease you with my mouth until you’re out of your mind.” She sucks in a gasp. “How does that sound?”
“Perfect,” she manages to heave out. “That sounds perfect.”
“Then lean back, Nat.”
She does as commanded, moving her palms behind her and watching him take a step back, his eyes never once breaking contact with hers while unbuttons the cuffs on his shirt. As he rolls his sleeves up his forearms, it occurs to her that while she’s all but laid out bare before him, he’s still fully dressed. But even with this imbalance, something about the way his licentious gaze trails up her body, taking her in, makes her feel desired in a way she’s never felt before.
It’s when he slides a hand down the flat of her belly, reaching the lace of her thong and ripping the delicate material away with one flick of his wrist that she feels her sex pulse. “Oh, God.”
“Do you know what it does to me?” he asks as he settles down on her chair. “Knowing that I’ve seen you at this desk, taking all those meetings… Making all those calls.” He hikes her legs up, setting her heels at the edge of her desk and licking his lips at the sight of her arousal glistening between her thighs. “In these shoes.” When he dusts a kiss just above where the strap rests on her ankle, the soft hair of his beard brushing against her skin, she can only whimper knowing his mouth is so close yet still so far from where she’s aching to feel him. “And now here you are, so wet for me…” He brushes a finger teasingly at her entrance, her vision blurring when she hears him groan. “Aching to be touched.”
There’s a part of her that wishes he would tell her. Tell her every single detail of the effect she has on him, to know that he’s as desperate for her touch as she is for his. But then he’s pushing in, her body taking him without any resistance. “Steve,” she whines, her gaze falling between her legs, watching every movement of his hand. For a moment, it’s as though she can’t breathe, too lost in her own pleasure and too mesmerized by seeing everything as it happens to her. Her hips cant upwards when he adds another finger. “Oh.”
He looks up at her, and his voice is tight as he speaks, as though he’s feeling just as inebriated with desire as she is right now. “Good, baby?”
When she mewls out another yes, he dips his head between her legs, his lips grazing her heat, and with his hands and mouth working her in tandem, she falls back on the desk, her arms no longer able to hold her up. Her hands fly to his hair, pulling, needing something, anything, to keep her from drowning in this ecstasy. She’s so turned on beyond words, that when he licks a broad stripe up her center, all she can do is cry out his name. Of all the nights she had fantasized about this, none of them could hold a candle to the pleasure she feels right now. The way he teases her, licking tantalizingly at her folds and sucking at her bundle of nerves until she’s just there, only to pull away before she crests… It’s deliriously good, a high she’s fast becoming hooked on.
“You look so good like this, Nat,” Steve says, easing his mouth off her to press a kiss to the inside of her thigh even as he continues to work her with his fingers. “Look at you, just begging to fall apart.”
“Steve,” she begins to say, only for her words to be replaced by a moan when he nips at the flesh of her inner thigh, the little sting of pain making her back bow off the mahogany. “Yes, yes, yes.”
“Come for me, Nat,” he says, bringing his mouth back to her center, his lips finding her bundle of nerves. She arches against his face, seeking out more contact, more everything, and as white-hot pleasure permeates throughout her every nerve ending, she finds exactly what she’s been craving. All of her worries, her laundry list of things to do… they all fade into nothing, and all she can think about is the heat unfurling low in her stomach, building. Rising.
“No!” She whimpers when Steve pulls his fingers out, tears nearly stinging her eyes as her walls flutter around nothing. Vaguely, she’s aware of him shushing her gently, of his hand moving lower, and then even lower still. “Oh, my God,” she gasps when she feels his finger at her other entrance, teasing. She tenses – unsure of how far he’ll take this, how far she’ll let him. But before she can give it more thought, her body answers for her, a long, needy moan escaping from her lips as his tongue flicks at her clit and his finger presses in. And then her body is trembling, her orgasm washing over her like waves crashing violently to shore.
She’s not sure how long she revels in bliss. Seconds, maybe, but with the intensity of the aftershocks, it feels like an eternity. It takes her a moment, but eventually, she recognizes the telltale sound of a zipper being pulled. Her eyes flutter open, and with what strength she still has, she sits up just as Steve brings a hand to his length, stroking.
Her mouth falls open, and despite the earth-shattering climax he’s just wringed out of her, she feels her nipples already tightening at the sight before her. She’s not entirely certain how her body could still crave more, but as she watches Steve’s hand shuttle up and down his hardness, his gaze trained on her and only her, it does. The scene playing out before her feels like a cut straight out of her dirtiest fantasy, and she couldn’t look away if she tried.
It’s when Steve’s hand slows at the head, his thumb gathering the bead of liquid, that their eyes meet. He’s always been adept at anticipating her needs, and when it comes to her base desires, it seems it’s no different. He brings his thumb to her mouth, slowly sliding his arousal over her lip, and as the salty taste of him hits her tongue, she moans, taking his hand between both of hers and drawing him all the way in.
“Christ, Nat,” Steve says, groaning when she nips at the skin of his thumb only to soothe it over with her tongue, sucking. She’s lost count of the number of nights she’s spent wondering what he tastes like, and now that she knows, she's ravenous with how much she wants more. With a pained groan, Steve pulls his hand away, his lips finding hers before she can so much as blink. The kiss is intoxicating – tasting of her, of him, of them. By the time they separate, she’s practically writhing, the heat between her legs once again unbearable. “Going to bend you over this desk now.”
With a smile, she slides off, stands, and turns. Behind her, she can hear the tearing of foil as he pulls out a condom and rolls it on, and then his hand is between her shoulder blades, pushing her down. She rests her cheek against the wood, and as he presses against her entrance, she cries out in need. In need of the rightness of this very moment. The covetousness. The tabooness of them, together, as Steve widens her stance, spreads her open, and sinks right into her in a single thrust. Her name falls from his lips, his tone gravelly. Intoxicated. She feels it just the same, her nails scratching at the wood as he bottoms out.
Steve curls his body over hers, and as he sets a rhythm with his hips that’s as delectable as it is punishing, she lets her eyes fall shut, the glow of Manhattan below them disappearing as she loses herself in the sensation. The sensation of finally having the man she’s been fantasizing over, of him buried deep inside of her, of him letting her indulge in her wildest desires right in her office, not a single soul knowing what they’re up to.
His lips pepper every inch of her skin that he can find, every kiss like another one of their dirty little secrets that she’ll keep. He’s not the least bit gentle, and when he slides his hands around her, cupping her breasts, she yelps when he pinches at her nipples.
“Tell me if it’s too much,” he says, because even when he’s doing exactly as she’s asked, she knows him, knows he could never live with himself if he hurt her.
“It’s not,” she assures him, letting out another whimper when he repeats the motion and she basks in the sharp tingle that follows. “It’s so good. So fucking good.”
Her moans fall freely now, if not a little muffled by the desk, but she couldn't care less. As she tethers between pain and pleasure, pleasure and pain, the seesaw of sensations is like gasoline slowly but surely dripping into the fire of her lust.
“What do you need, Nat?” Steve asks not a moment too soon, sensing her longing before she does in that uncanny way only he can.
She wishes she knew. She can feel the pleasure coiling at her spine, threatening to burst over her, and yet it’s as though she’s searching for that little extra spark to set her ablaze – a spark that she hadn’t even known she wanted, much less needed, until Steve had shown her tonight. As the frustration of tethering on the edge begins to set in, she whimpers. “Steve,” she breathes out, moaning at a particularly delicious thrust of his hips. “More.”
In her haze, she doesn’t quite catch what Steve murmurs in response, feeling only the kiss he presses to her cheek as his hands let go of her breasts, traveling down her sides, until they’re past her waist.
“Ah!” she cries out when his palm collides with her backside, the sound reverberating across the room. The burn dissolves into pleasure, and she keens. “Again,” she says, hearing Steve growl in response, hips driving deeper into her as he raises his palm and swats her once more. “Oh, just like that.”
He obliges her request, once, twice. And then another time, until soon, all the sensations brew into one outrageous storm, and as Steve reaches around her and down to where they’re joined, circling her bundle of nerves, it breaks. With a litany of incoherent sounds falling from her mouth, she falls apart, taking Steve right down the edge with her.
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Just once. That’s what he had told himself when he decided to throw caution to the wind and kiss Natasha senseless. When he slipped that dress off her body, hoisted her up on that desk. One time to get her out of his system. One time to make him stop wondering.
But now that he knows what it’s like to have her in his arms, knows what she sounds like just as she’s on the brink of falling apart, he doesn’t think he can ever get enough.
He should leave, put as much distance between him and the temptation that is Natasha Romanoff. But as he pulls his pants up and disposes of the condom, he finds that he can’t just yet. “Come on, gorgeous,” he says as he lifts her into his arms, mindful of her pinkened skin. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
A sated sigh slips from her lips as she settles against his chest. He pads out of her office, making his way to the other side of her suite enroute to her bedroom and right into the ensuite bathroom. When he reaches the large soaking tub, he sets her on the ledge, watching as she winces. He frowns. “I told you to tell me if it was too much.”
“It wasn’t,” she says firmly as he turns on the tap, adjusting the temperature. She leans forward, running her hand under the running water. A smile breaks out on her face. “Just how I like it.”
“I know.”
“I’m not going to lie,” she says, yawning. “I think I might just doze off.”
“I’ll turn this off,” he says, already reaching to shut the water. “The last thing we want is for you to drown in your own tub.”
“No!” she says, her lower lip jutting out in a pout, effectively stopping him in his tracks. “You know I can’t turn down a good bubble bath.”
“That I also know,” he says softly, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. He shouldn’t feel such joy at knowing these things about her. In fact, he shouldn’t even have all these little details in his brain, like the fact that she loves daisies and that her guilty pleasure is watermelon-flavored Sour Patch Kids, so much so that she always keeps an emergency stash of them in the bottom drawer of her desk. Or the fact that she got her love of candy from her mom, who would always have a pack in her bag ready for them to share. It’s also why she makes sure to carry some with her when she goes to visit the kids, sneaking them treats even though she knows the staff at the orphanage frowns upon the sugary delights.
But that was Natasha. Ever caring, ever kind-hearted. Always trying to do good with the privilege bestowed upon her.
There isn’t a goddamn thing that he doesn’t like about this woman, he realizes. Mind, soul, and now body – it attracts him all.
Which is why he shouldn’t be privy to all these things about her. None of it has to do with him doing his job. With keeping her safe.
He has to leave.
“Steve.” Natasha’s voice breaks him out of his reverie, and when he looks at her, he finds her brows furrowed in concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“All good,” he assures her. He wishes he could give her more than a few words, but he doesn’t trust himself not to crack open now, to confess to her that the absolute last thing he wants to do is leave.
“Well, then…” she begins, a sheepish expression suddenly painting her features. “Do you mind stepping out for a bit while I use the little girl’s room?” Despite his thoughts being at war, he finds that he can’t help but chuckle at her request. She gasps, shoving his arm even as she tries desperately not to crack a smile. “Don’t laugh! Everyone pees.”
“Really? I never knew,” he quips, prompting her to roll her eyes.
“You just fucked me into oblivion,” she adds. “Peeing is not optional.”
He arches a brow at her. “You’ll say things like that, but God forbid I watch you pee?”
“A little mystery never killed anybody.”
He shakes his head. “I can just go.”
“No,” she says, reaching out to catch his arm again. “I only need a minute.” She looks up at him, eyes wide. “Come back, please.”
He’s not sure if it’s the please she added at the end of her request or the vulnerability in her eyes as she said it, but either way, it renders any thoughts he had of walking out of her front door right now moot. With a nod, he makes his way out of her bathroom, leaving the door just ajar.
As he waits, he paces her bedroom, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck. He stops by her windowsill, looking out into the glimmering city. Below, he finds the crowds still bustling, going about their night, the image only serving to highlight his current solitude. Here he is, standing atop one of the tallest skyscrapers in town, alone in the bedroom of the woman he’s just slept with. A woman who also happens to be his client, his assignment. A woman he had no business touching, much less having.
He leans his forehead against the glass, sighing. It’s when he finds himself at a crossroads like this that he truly missed his mom the most. What he would give to be able to pick up the phone and give her a ring again. But even though that’s no longer a possibility, he still knows what she would tell him – the only answer she deemed right and universal to every predicament.
When in doubt, do the right thing.
Guilt washes over him from the top of his head down to his toes. If there’s one thing that’s crystallized for him tonight, it’s that being with Natasha impaired his judgment, and that’s just not something he could afford, given his job. The very same job that not only requires him to make decisions on the fly, but that also demands that he make the right ones. Mistakes didn’t come cheap in his field. At best, they led to injury. At worst, they were fatal. The last thought brings a chill down his spine, and he reminds himself of the file he has in his office, the very same file Alexei had brought to him way back when, filled with stolen pictures of Natasha that the maniac had coveted, and letters that he had written to her. The endless reports that detailed every which way that poor excuse of a human being used to subvert security. He reminds himself that if not for that one detective who had gotten there in time, he may never have gotten the chance to meet Natasha.
He implores himself to remember all of that. To sear into his memory what was at stake if he chooses to be selfish right now, and what the consequences could be. With that, he moves away from the window, rapping softly on the frame of the open door.
“All clear!”
Given the clearance, he walks in, and the sight that greets him has him cursing under his breath for the umpteenth time this evening. In the tub, Natasha sits surrounded by bubbles, her hair piled high up in a bun.
“Hi,” she says, her tone soft and her face all but glowing. She pats the space he had set her down on not long ago. “Come sit.” His only response is to nod, making his way over to her to perch on the marble ledge. “We should talk.”
“We should,” he says, resisting the urge to push the strands of hair that have fallen loose from her bun away from her face.
“I can tell you’re wound up, Steve,” she says.
His lips quirk up slightly. “Isn’t that what I usually tell you?”
She cracks a smile, but it lasts but a second as she reaches for his hand. “You regret this.”
“What? Natasha, no,” he says, shaking his head. “Never. Don’t you ever think that.”
She bites her lip. “Really?”
“Of course,” he says without skipping a beat, his hand reaching to cup her face. “Being with you was a dream come true.”
She sighs, relief washing over her face as she leans into his touch. “It was a dream come true for me, too.”
“It was incredible,” he adds, swallowing the tightness that’s suddenly formed in his throat. “I could never regret it.” He sighs, dreading his next words. But he has to say them. Has to be honest. “But, Nat, it can’t happen again.” The sadness that fills her eyes is a dagger straight to his heart, but he soldiers on. Do the right thing, he reminds himself. “My head isn’t clear when I’m with you, and I need it to be in order to do my job. I can’t let anything happen to you.”
“You would never let anything happen to me.”
The way she says it, with so much trust and certainty, floors him. And it’s this, the amount of faith she has in him and in his ability to keep her out of harm’s way, that gives him the strength to remain steadfast. “And it’s going to stay that way,” he promises. “You haven’t a clue what it would do to me if something happened to you.”
“Tell me,” she says, eyes imploring.
He shakes his head, his mind refusing to entertain the possibility. “It’s not going to happen.”
She reaches for the hand he has on her face, clasping it between her own. “Having you by my side this last year… I’ve never felt safer.”
“Good,” he says, allowing his lips to pull up in a little smile. “I’m glad.”
Easily, if not a little too easily, they slip into conversation as if it’s the end of just another night for them at the gym. She talks about the plans she’s made for the upcoming bachelor party of her best friend, and they both laugh at how ridiculous some of the decorations she’s ordered are going to turn out. In turn, he gives her his assessment of what he thinks is blooming between the doorman and the receptionist in her building.
“You suspected there was something going on between those two and you’re only telling me now?” she says, narrowing her eyes at him. “You know I’ve been trying to play matchmaker for weeks!”
“I needed to make sure my intel was- hey!” he exclaims, barely dodging the water she splashes his way. As she sticks her tongue out at him, he glares at her witheringly.
“Serves you right for withholding information,” she says, only to gasp when he suddenly retaliates. “Rogers!”
The image of her cheek and shoulder marred by bubbles causes him to burst out in laughter. “I’m sorry!” he says, and despite her best effort, she too begins laughing. “Here, let me help you.”
“You better,” she mutters, and he rolls his lips to prevent another laugh from slipping.
He reaches forward, gingerly wiping away the suds from her cheek with the back of his hand, doing the same with the ones on her shoulder. “Your skin is so soft.”
“It’s all the bath oils,” she says, taking his hand. “You should try them sometime.” She scoops some water into her palm to pour it over his, massaging his fingers. “Or, better yet… you could come join me.”
As she looks at him, she bites her lip, and he can only groan. “You, Natasha Romanoff, are trouble.” Her only response is to shrug, and it takes every bit of restraint he has left in his body to not lean in and kiss that little smirk off her lips. Focus. “That… person. He could have easily harmed you, and all he got was a measly six months of jail time.”
“And he hasn’t sniffed this place since,” she points out. “You’re exceptional at your job, Steve. As is your team. I haven’t even gotten so much as a suspicious letter.”
“And that’s how it’s going to remain,” he says, adamant.
She huffs out a breath that’s long and winded. “You’re really not going to touch me again, are you?”
He shakes his head no, smiling sadly as his response elicits another disappointed sigh from her. He lifts their joined hands, bringing it up to press a kiss to the back of hers. “But know, in my dreams, I have you every night.” She throws her head back, groaning, and he chuckles. “I should go.”
“Yeah,” she says, tilting her head playfully to the side. “You keep saying that.”
He grins. “Can I get you a towel?”
“Please.”
He stands to retrieve a towel from the rack, grabbing the fluffiest one, and when he returns to her, he finds that smile playing on her lips again. “What?”
“Well, if you’re going to leave, I guess you better turn around.”
It shouldn’t be that hard to do. But when all he wants is to wrap this towel around her, pull her in, and carry her to bed, the effort feels Herculean. He chuckles, setting the cloth down by the ledge before making his way out. “Goodnight, Natasha.”
“Goodnight, Steve,” she says, and though he couldn’t see her face, the amusement in her tone is all the confirmation he needs to know that she hasn’t wiped that smirk off her face. “See you tomorrow.”
Read Part 2: Blinding Lights here
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nighthoundsworld · 9 months
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You know what the beauty In shipping Romanogers is it’s the pure irony
That fact that Steve Rogers an extremely hardcore AMERICAN WITH BLONDE HAIR AND BLUE EYES Labled by Hydra as the ideal AMERICAN MAN not to mention the face of America wearing Red White and Blue and is also CAPTAIN AMERICA ! Along with the biggest take away. THE FACT THAT HE’S FROM THE 1940’s !! AND WAS A WORLD WAR 2 VETERAN IS IN LOVE WITH A HARDCORE RUSSIAN SPY WHO WORKED FOR THE KGB !AND DELIBERATELY AIDED EVENTS WITHIN THE 1940’s TO ASSIST RUSSIA DURING THE COLD WAR !! IF THAT’S NOT IRONY I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS
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japrilsanatomy · 10 months
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Current Top 10 Ships:
Honorable Mention: Linstead (Erin Lindsay and Jay Halstead)- Chicago P.D.
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10. Lucaya (Lucas Friar and Maya Hart)- Girl Meets World
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9. Calzona (Callie Torres and Arizona Robbins)- Grey’s Anatomy
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8. MerDer (Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd)- Grey’s Anatomy
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7. Dawsey (Gabby Dawson and Matt Casey)- Chicago Fire
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6. Slexie (Mark Sloan and Lexie Grey)- Grey’s Anatomy
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5. Skyeward (Daisy “Skye” Johnson and Grant Ward)- Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
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4. Jolex (Jo Wilson and Alex Karev)- Grey’s Anatomy
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3. Delena (Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert)- The Vampire Diaries
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2. Romanogers (Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rogers)- MCU
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Japril (Jackson Avery and April Kepner)- Grey’s Anatomy
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alltheficsiwant · 2 years
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Main Masterlist
Hi I'm J and this is my master list of stories. I have only written several and I focus my posting mainly on Ao3 but fret not. All stories there will be posted here. :) If you don't have an Ao3 account, you can find my works here too.
I am a big fan of Dramione, Bucky Barnes, Marvel BOTH Comics and Cinematic Universe and Eddie Munson. I write with a reader insert and if I'm writing for a couple like Dramione or Romanogers; I usually put myself in the story. The girl, who is asian, five feet flat and an introvert and has a name that starts with J. That would be me written in the story. Here is the list below. Categorized by the Character I write. This will be updated from time to time. :) I mainly post on Ao3 with my series but my one shots will be posted here in my tumblr first. :)
CREDITS TO ALL THE OWNERS OF THE PICTURE I AM USING AS BANNERS. (Source: pinterest)
FOR TAGLIST: Please make sure to follow me and message me through my ASK if you want to be included. :D Thankieee!
Legends:
🤗 - Fluff
💔 - Angst
🖤 - Dark Themes Involved
🌶 - Smut/Lemon
Warnings: My story is for 18+ readers. I have the tendency to be dark and I'm a bit graphic with violence, mentions of blood, rape or other dark themes. Please be warned.
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😍JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES / BUCKY BARNES
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🎸 EDDIE MUNSON
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➡ Same Old Hawkins, Or Not? (Eddie Munson x Harrington!F!reader) 🤗💔🖤 [COMPLETE; Undergoing Editing] Summary: After a series of unfortunate events in Utah that she would rather forget which she moved to from Hawkins. Reader moves back to her old hometown just in time for her senior year. She half expected it to be the same old boring Hawkins as she remembered back at middle school. 
She was wrong. Apparently, Hawkins is now home to the monsters she thought only existed in D&D and now she is in the middle of an impending doom on her beloved hometown. Really, she was just passing through and now she might have a reason to stay.
Yeah, it’s nothing to do with her small crush on a certain fellow senior. A metal head who is always up to no good. It’s really about saving the town she is starting to love again, yes?
➡ Here We Go Again (Sequel to Same Old Hawkins, Or Not?) 🤗💔🖤 [COMPLETED] Summary: The Summer of '85 is on the roll. Reader has started her job as a printing personnel in the Hawkins Post with the help of Nancy and Jonathan who are both in their internship as a writer and photographer respectively. Eddie on the other hand is working as a part time mechanic at Jaeger’s Auto shop while Steve continues to work at Scoop’s Ahoy with Robin alongside him.
The kids, well, they are enjoying their summer with the mall in full operation and the upcoming fair that is being planned by the Mayor. Really, as long as all of the upside down remains quiet, everything will be great.
Unfortunately, their plans are going to be in ruins when one Billy Hargrove starts to take interest in the reader. Though, it was much better if it was just some misguided infatuation but apparently there is much more into it than meets the eye.
Reader was really happy not to deal with the upside down and would face a million Billy Hargrove, in fact the rest of them would be happy not to deal with it at all. Apparently, its not done yet. It is just getting started.
➡ Magnetic Attraction (Werewolf!Eddie x Human!Reader) 🌶🤗💔 In Progress.... [Writing parts]
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👮‍♂️LEE BODECKER
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➡ Mind Palace : Lee Bodecker 🖤💔 In Progress... [Set in a Universe called Mind Palace. It will have Eddie and Bucky soon and other characters I can write on. Lee is the first one to enter]
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💑DRACO MALFOY / HERMIONE GRANGER
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➡Untitled Dramione 🤗💔 In Progress... [Set still in HP Universe but altered. Already four parts in.]
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teafiend · 6 months
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20 Questions for Fic Writers!
I saw this and thought it would be fun. Tagged myself. 🤪
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
60.
(One shots, drabbles and ficlets/snippets/vignettes).
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
280,528 (as of 1st Nov, 2023)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Korean dramas “fandoms”.
“Sohn: The Guest”, “Voice”, “Glitch”, “Beyond Evil” and “A Time Called You” etc so far. Except for TG and “Voice”, I don’t have more than one work in the other “fandoms”.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. To Be a Part of You (Kang Kwon Joo/Mo Tae Gu) - Collection of related, smutty one shots.
2. Gossip (Kang Gil Young/Choi Yoon/Yoon Hwa Pyeong) - Mini one shot. There is mention of children.
3. Dying Just to Feel You by My Side (KKJ/MTG) - The starting story for the series ‘To Be A Part of You’ is in. Literal relationship negotiations (with a stalker).
4. Fly Me to The Moon (Hong Ji Hyo/Heo Bo Ra) - Collection of 100-word drabbles for this pair of chaotic, gorgeous cuties.
5. Brass Blossoms (KKJ/MTG) - Collection of 100-word drabbles.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why? Why not?
I always do.
I get very little interaction and try to respond to anyone kind enough to leave a comment (except for trolling ones).
Each and every comment is deeply appreciated.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?.
None. Am a HE/A-supremacist. I also can’t do angst, mostly due to skill issues.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
All are relatively happy.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
So far, only one. On a fic for a rare pair in a relatively larger fandom. It was a mild “hate” comment(s) and was more hilarious to me than anything.
The audacity of some people! 😎
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes. All kinds, but mostly the vanilla flavoured ones, and not descriptively explicit. Even the “dub-con” and CNC ones are tepid.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Yes. Not crazy as much as I had lots of fun with other crack pairing(s) to fawn over.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. I mostly write rare pairs in minuscule, obscure fandoms. Nothing worth stealing.
Stealing anything fan work is abhorrent, however, so please don’t.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No. But I have translated a fic to English - from an amazing writer - for one of the rare pairs I write for.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No.
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
Kang Gil Young/Choi Yoon.
I have too many favourites - from other fandoms, i.e., HaruMichi, Everlark, Mileven, Silverparry, Reylo, Romanogers, Nevmione etc, and all are special and unique to me - to put one at the top, but as one I write for (and visuals wise), KGY/CY is undoubtedly my favourite.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
You Are Not Allowed series. It is left as “completed” because I am just a snippet/single scene/one shot scribbler, but there is supposed to be an endgame there that I doubt I will ever write for again, though the ending is there in my mind.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Boringly straightforward and dry. It is not a strength but one I have to live with.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Plot! Dialogue! Prose. Description of scenes, objects, characters. Well, basically everything.
I don’t have any pretensions I can write (or ever had any aspirations for writing), but am desperate to have my rare pairs occupy my mind for longer while I fixate on them, so… and scribbling word vomit is quite fun, so I scribble whenever my rare pairs visit me.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Haven’t done it.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Sohn: The Guest.
20. Favourite fics you’ve written?
A Verb in Perfect View
(A collection of snapshots/snippets/ficlets for Kang Gil Young/Choi Yoon)
I like most of my fics - not because they are any good - just because they are the few available for my rare pairs. “Beggars can’t be choosers” and all that crock. 😆
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lately i’ve been thinking about nat having kept a really strict diet/fitness regimen for so long and then finally indulging a little bit. and then a bit more. okay, a lot more. she really starts putting on weight and she’s always hungry all of a sudden and she goes from having been able to run a mile with ease to being out of breath just from walking from the couch to the fridge. she’s a little embarrassed about it (especially so when she gets really burpy, always flushed in the face and murmuring the softest “‘scuse me” when she lets a belch out) but she’s even more embarassed by how much it turns her on to have such a big belly and to overeat.
she knows there’s no going back to how things were when she realizes her belly is so big it dwarfs her tits 🫣
(hope this is okay, i just wanted ur thoughts on the concept + if u had anything to add!)
Oooo yes, I love this ex-jock adjacent journey for Natasha!
And you know what I thought of immediately upon reading your ask? I thought about this chubby kink fic I’ve re-read probably a thousand times “Doubling the Recipe” by caloriebomb. It doesn’t have Natasha getting chubby (it’s a stucky fic with feedee Bucky) but there’s this part where Natasha mentions:
“‘Lots of guys get a little belly when they're discharged,” Natasha said. “I probably would, too, if it weren't for the patriarchal double-standard that won't let girls get fat without giving them shit. Though I guess you've appointed yourself Bucky's shit-giving angel.’” (taken from chapter 3 specifically)
So, of course, moving out from that connection… this idea obviously then makes me think about ex-military Natasha. She’s been honorably discharged, she’s done her time, and now she’s just a regular civilian and so she doesn’t have to keep up that strict diet and even more strict fitness regimen. Why would she? She doesn’t need to be able to outrun enemies, she doesn’t need to be societally appealing in order to get details out of pig-headed men that are in charge of shit simply because they’re men, not because they’re the best at their job, she doesn’t need to be able to throw people off of her despite her usually smaller size, she doesn’t need to be able to slip through tight spaces, she doesn’t need to do any of that anymore. And she’s tired of doing all that. So… doesn’t it make sense for her to go the other way and eat all the things she wasn’t allowed to before? She deserves to relax.
Romanogers below the cut, you know the drill, unbeta'd. This is your Belly Kink warning. At first, its solo Natasha stuffing, weight gain, and masturbation. Then Steve comes into the picture 😏
And it becomes a habit. Do you know how hard it is to go back to a world of perfectly nutritious food and the proper amount of exercise once you’ve tasted a whole new world of flavor and texture and, just, enjoyment that you’ve never been allowed before?
Exorbitantly hard.
Natasha has spent her entire professional career being resilient and using up all of her self-restraint, meaning she doesn’t have any left to, do what exactly-? Fit in with what society deems beautiful in the current era? Body types a part of the fashion industry, coming in hot and going out soon after. Pfft. Fuck that.
Why would Natasha fucking care at this point in her life?
However, that being said, the first healthy chunk of weight comes on as a result of letting loose just because she can. It’s an accident. But once she comes to terms with her increased weight and has to decide what she values more: what other people think and say about her OR what feels good to herself and what makes her happy, well, then the weight that comes after that is all intentional. She is helpless to give in when indulging is probably the best thing she’s ever felt in her entire life. Holy shit, it feels good to be full. It feels so good to stretch her abdominal muscles to their breaking point not from doing countless amounts of crunches until they spasm and ache but stretched to breaking as they try to keep all the food she stuffed down her hungry throat attached to her. Cramping. Heavy. Rounded. Full. Like, outrageously, illogically full. It feels so good.
And it’s an accident - just like how the first bit of weight came on before she decided to dive in head first to this whole idea - when after one of her stuffing sessions she slips into masturbating. It’s uncorrelated she tells herself after it’s over, jolted out of the haze of pleasure and gluttony panting, eyes shut, with her hand still resting over her pulsing, wet slit. Her whole body is on fire with embarrassment even though she’s the only one around. She just-
God.
Why had she done that? But also… when was the last time she let her own hands fall between her thighs to pleasure herself? When was the last time she felt pleasure in that way for pleasure’s sake rather than it being a part of a honey-pot mission? She can’t recall the last time. So, obviously, it’s been a long time coming. And based on how much of her newly retired life she spends full up to the brim with food… it only makes sense that she’d end up cracking when she was still panting, out of breath under her bloated, stuffed belly. When isn’t she in such a state, stuffed silly?
Right?
It has nothing to do with the tight ball of throbbing heat that overtakes her when she reaches that glorious point of being so packed full that she stops being able to lift her hands to her mouth. Her body quitting on her because it knows if it doesn’t she will just keep eating and eating and eating. Everyone feels that when they eat too much. The whole nauseous after eating too much thing is… a pop culture myth? (Right?) It feels glorious to glut for everyone.
Right?
Okay…
Fine.
Maybe they are tied together. Her masturbation habits and her eating habits that is.
Maybe…
Maybe, there’s something here, she tells herself when it happens again and again and again, lying on her bed, surrounded by food wrappers from both her pantry - chips and junk food of the like - and from the restaurant a block or two away from her apartment. She could’ve walked to pick up the food, but she didn’t. She paid extra for delivery (really extra so she wouldn’t have to pant as she slowly staggered her way there, working around her bloated gut). Also- there’s a two-liter somewhere around here too; the entirety of it bloating out her tight, tight stomach, bubbly and sloshy and delicious. A two-liter on top of a whole day's calories twice over. Jesus. All of it stuffed into her just in time for her not to drop into a food coma but perfectly in time for her to bend her arm around the swollen, pale mountain of her belly to get at her throbbing, wet center. It’s harder to do so these days, her capacity increased massively. But anyway, she was so ready to touch herself that it must’ve taken her a minute, tops, to get off. And, yes, okay, fiiine, she was getting off to the feeling of how bursting full she was.
She was and is getting off on it.
And she might get off again, shifting under her belly to feel the tight, heavy dome of it wobble and slosh, pinning her down. I’m so greedy. She whimpers at her own thoughts, and shivers, her fingers already dipping back into her wetness, spreading it around. I’m so full. So heavy and unable to stop stuffing myself. God. I can’t stop. I’m gonna get huge. I’m- I’m gonna get so, so fat. Natasha gasps, both at her thoughts and at the feeling of angling her hand, still working around the beach ball attached to her front, to slip her fingers inside of her throbbing pussy. Hell fucking yeah, she’s gonna get off on the feeling of being packed full of delicious food again. A complete glutton. In every sense of the word.
Later, after that realization that not everyone has this electric connection between food and sex, Natasha digs deeper into it…
Well, really, first she lets herself go even more. Without shame and with fully conscious knowledge of what she’s doing- Nat goes on a spree of all-day stuffings over multiple days, getting off to it as many times as she can. Constantly with one hand exploring the fat, round curve of her tummy where it sticks out further than her boobs while the other shovels food into her mouth. When she’s done eating, that hand moves down… slipping into her panties or just between her bare legs when she gets too full- okay, really, too fat to fit into even her most forgiving pair of underwear. And, fuck, does that feel naughty and fucking incredible in the best ways. She’s too fat. She’s outgrown her fucking panties. She forgot that could happen. It's never happened to her before.
With this exploration over three… four… five days she’s constantly munching, constantly packed full, and orgasming multiple upon multiple times during the day. Hell, on the night between the fourth and fifth day, she wakes up with her cunt wet and her tummy gurgling - gurgling as it tries to digest the colossal amounts of food she’s packed into it, but she pretends it’s gurgling out of hunger - and she waddles to the freezer to down the rest of the pint of ice cream that she couldn’t finish after her third dinner. Then. Then, still with the last swallow of ice cream in her mouth, lounging back in her bed like a spoiled queen, she dips her fingers into the puddle of wetness she’s made. So fucking hot over the new height of greed she’s reached; fingering herself until she comes with a yell. The darkness of the middle of the goddamn night only adds to the hotness, feverishly thinking, I’m so gluttonous. I can’t even get through the night without waking up to stuff my face. I can’t even get through the night without coming. I’m addicted. I’m addicted to this. To my fatness and greed.
Upon running out of literally anything to eat in her apartment, Natasha comes out of her fantastical delve into all things gluttonous. She comes out of the exploration and realizes-
None of her damn clothes fit other than the pair of sweats Maria Hill (her friend since they met in boot camp in the military) left the last time she slept over. Maria is a full five inches taller than her with a larger frame, fit to her taller height, and the waistband of the sweat pants is still viciously tight on Nat’s hugely bloated and fat (fatter every day 🥴) waist. And the only top that fits Nat is one of her hoodies that when shipped to her came in a way too big size. Way too big when she originally got it. Now… her belly presses tightly to the kangaroo pocket. She has no underwear that fits either, so when she goes out clothes and food shopping… she'll be going commando. 😳😳😳
She really, really wants someone else to do this whole stuffing, weight gain thing with. It’s really damn hard to keep going when she’s by herself! And she knows she could do better- she could get bigger if she had someone to help her...
The first realization is an easy enough fix, an expensive fix, but an easy enough fix.
The second realization takes her back to the internet, back to researching the feederism community… maybe she could pay someone to help her? God knows she has enough money to do it with the monetary compensation the good ol’ US government gave her to shut her up for the shit she’s done and not complain about any mental or physical blowback. But- there have to be, like, sex workers that wouldn’t mind helping Natasha out with her kink, right? Or maybe, she doubts it, but maybe she could get a hook-up that could help her? She knows this isn’t an out-in-the-open type kink though so… that second option is less likely. However, it’s the option she ends up getting to try because she finds a website specifically for kinky people. A hook-up/dating/networking sight. She searches by fetish. She finds lots of people that are willing to “play” with this fetish. This kink. Lots of people with listed limits and safewords and references. Lots of people looking for feedees. But the most interesting- the most appealing person she finds is Steve.
He’s one of the rare people that has a fully shown face, not just body pics or pics of their face but hidden with sunglasses, masks, hats, or whatever other creative thing people can come up with. Privacy, yeah, of course, Natasha gets that but…
She can’t help but lick her lips, staring at Steve’s handsome face. Hungry for him. Her eyes widen as she scrolls through his photos- they make her mouth water. He’s big. Not big like Natasha wants to get - not fat - but muscular. Obviously strong. Full body shots that look to be taken after the gym, sweaty and huge; she zooms in on his hands. She imagines his hard muscle against her softening body, his impossible abs against her ever-expanding gut, his big hands grabbing Natasha’s chin and her new double chin and forcing more food down her throat, helping her continue with her stuffing and helping her chew and petting her throat as she swallows, strong and dominating but encouraging too. Praising her for getting everything down. Petting her stomach when it aches after she’s eaten too much, both genuinely wanting to help her out but also wanting to tease her. He has two hands, one could be on her stomach and the other between her legs but… he uses both to massage her, at first. Then, oh god, Natasha’s thighs squeeze together as she imagines those thick, big fingers crooking inside her and rubbing her clit when she's so full already. She shuts her eyes, her blush burning hot on her cheeks. Fuck, she can’t imagine how much better gluttony and sex would be with this man.
She has to message him. It takes her nearly an hour to draft the perfect opening message. Then another hour to take her mind off of it, stuffing herself on top of what she’s already eaten throughout the day. (Not that her mind stays off of this stranger, Steve, because her thoughts circle right back to him when she gives in to the need to come. Whimpering, fantasizing about having to do so little work that her hands are tied to the bedposts and he’s sitting on her jiggly, soft, spread thighs, straddling them, feeding her and controlling a dildo he’s fucking in and out of her at the same time, telling her he’s going to stuff her and stuff her and stuff her, incrementally feeding her more and splitting her pussy open with bigger and bigger toys. He’s going to fill her more than she thought possible.)
Eventually, Steve messages back, saying all the right things, raising all the green flags even as he teases her- calling her first timer yet verifying that she actually wants this, she’s thought it through, treating her both respectfully and gently. He's more experienced than she is. Much more experienced.
They talk back and forth.
Talking through the site at first, then they exchange phone numbers and speak over the phone. At which point Steve tells her he loves her voice, saying he’s never met someone who sounds so husky and sensual in everyday life, like an old movie actress, voice rough from too many cigarettes. It makes her laugh and her heart flutter, excited for their instant chemistry and what it’ll translate to later…
Later but not too much later because it turns out they’re near in locations, so they pick a date soon. A test run at Natasha’s place. They’ll hook-up more if the first time goes well. Nat knows it will go well. She looks forward to blowing up.
Christ, she’s gonna get so fucking fat with Steve’s help…
(And, of course, they go from being just fetish-fuck-buddies to being lovers eventually because I said so lol. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. Natasha is fat and growing and Steve is a great doting but also domineering boyfriend.)
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Enjoy the filth!! I went a little off topic from your prompt 🤭 I hope that's okay lol
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obsessedx · 1 year
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i was tagged by lovelyyy @ronandreams to do this uquiz and share my results 💚 this is so damn nice, im at the point of always tearing up when I see a mention, thank you 💫
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forest green
your love, though sometimes kept secret, makes others feel safe and at peace. it is the colour of deep, quiet forests and secret paths covered in leaves. it is the colour of growth.
tagging: @vakariaan, @isaacmccall, @swainlake, @eddiesdiaz, @carpenter-sabrina, @romanogers, @jakeperalta, @jilyswift, @jakeluppin, @scndchnce, @kalena-henden 🌿☘️✨
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i've always got your back
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/Lsp06iX
by shewritesall
There's a vulnerability in putting her back to anyone; Natasha had learned that the hard way. But when it's Steve, it's different and she hasn't found anyone else that can offer the same feeling of safety and comfort, so it's to him she goes.
The 5 times Natasha slept with her back to him plus the one time she didn’t.
Words: 3267, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 49 of Romanogers Short Stories
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/M
Characters: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Literal Sleeping Together, Domestic, Trust, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Soft Steve Rogers, Soft Natasha Romanov, Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Temporary/Mentioned Character Death, Happy Ending
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/Lsp06iX
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gaiagalit · 1 year
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Tag 9 people you want to get to know better
I was tagged by @geekymoviemom. Thank you! 💙
Three ships:
Wooden Swan - August/Emma - OUAT
Romanogers - Steve/Natasha - MCU
Tomberly - Tommy/Kimberly - Power Rangers
Honorable mention: Bellarke - Clarke/Bellamy - The 100
First ever ship:
Tommy x Kimberly
Last Song:
Stay - Monika Linkyte
Last Movie:
Ladyhawke
Currently Reading:
The 100 - Kass Morgan
Currently Watching:
Cook at All Costs
Currently Consuming:
Coffee
Currently Craving:
A vacation
I tag @angelic37, @togetherkru, @prgirlsrock, @onceuponasonhadora, @silverlyrics, and anyone else who wants to participate.
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romanticinpanic · 2 years
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about me
screenname: rom (she/her)
blog content ranges anywhere from shitposting, fandom, history, aesthetic, and studyblr depending on mood
more about me/my interests below, though it may be slightly outdated
(just for reference, unless topical, a good amount of my reblogs are queued)
note: some of these linked tags are empty, this is mostly for organization (also I gave up on linking everything around the inactive fandom section) 
fav (mostly standalone) movies:
the mummy
scream
heathers
romeo + juliet
labyrinth
what we do in the shadows
the winter soldier
empire strikes back
the half of it
howl's moving castle
addams family values (the addams family)
pride and prejudice
childhood disney films (sleeping beauty, mulan, tangled), honorable mention anastasia
fav musical artists:
taylor swift
mitski
lana del rey
blackpink (rosé biased) and a whole lot of other kpop girl groups
and (according to my last.fm) the smiths, phoebe bridgers, hole, the beach boys, the shangri-las & tv girl
fandoms i consider myself active in (and what i like in them):
star wars (leia, hanleia, love OT, like PT, for the most part like to pretends ST doesn’t exists)
doctor who (rose tyler, RTD era mostly, doctorrose)
PJO (percabeth)
marvel (jean grey, gwen stacy, jott, romanogers, xmen/x-men/x men)
batfamily/dc (dick grayson, poison ivy, dickbabs leaning)
buffy the vampire slayer (drusilla, spuffy [in AUs, not in pure canon])
top gun (a guilty pleasure of mine, icemav)
wwe/pro-wrestling (Kairi [Sane], Asuka, AJ Lee, Judgement Day)
fandoms i’m either inactive in or no longer a part of (but formerly obsessed):
total drama (aleheather, au duncney)
taskmaster
x files
rpdr
yellowjackets
sailor moon
streamers (nihachu, technoblade, RT game, OTV & friends, in the past dsmp)
harry potter (hermione, dramione [in AUs, not in pure canon])
figure skating (evgenia medvedeva, alysa liu)
american horror story
A:TLA (katara, zutara, jinora)
sherlock (molly hooper, sherlolly)
musicals (hamilton, heathers, poto & more [I was in middle school ok! Cut me some slack])
ya fiction
other random obsessions:
empress sisi/sissi
ophelia
Misc folklore & mythology
history
historical fashion
ballet
time periods (for history content)
ancient times
20th century
1920s
1930s
1940s
1950s
1960s
1970s
1980s
1990s
90s
00s
misc tags i use that haven’t found their way in above
prev tags
quotes
paintings
long post
other accts
ao3: @romanticinpanic
elysian fields: @amina
there are some things i don’t like, but so long as you’ll tag them correctly i won’t interact with them. honestly as long as you’re not toxic/in denial, i’m pretty up for anything (which i know is such a vague description, but it’s hard to out of context create some all encompassing distinction of what is in good fun and what just worsens an online community)
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depressinggreenie · 9 years
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Marvel Pairing Tags
Here are the tags for searching and blocking purposes.
Disclaimer: I may have missed some. Not all of the pairings tagged I am interested in or support but have mentioned or touched on at least once.
*For Top/Bottom / Sub/Dom / Omegaverse specific character dynamics: I tag them "#X Character Name"
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ROMANTIC/SEXUAL  ★ Bernie Rosenthal/Steve Rogers - #ShieldBern  ★ Bernie Rosenthal/Rachel Leighton/Steve Rogers - #DiamondShieldBern  ★ Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers - #GammaShield  ★ Bruce Banner/Tony Stark - #ScienceHusbands  ★ Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov - #Clintasha  ★ Clint Barton/Steve Rogers - #Amerihawk  ★ Georges Batroc/Steve Rogers - #LeaperShield  ★ James 'Bucky' Barnes/Steve Rogers - #Stucky   ☆ Captain America Steve/Modern Bucky - #Shrunkyclunks   ☆ Pre-Serum Steve/Bucky - #Shrinkyclinks  ★ James 'Bucky' Barnes/Sam Wilson/Steve Rogers - #All Caps  ★ James 'Bucky' Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark - #Stuckony  ★ James 'Rhodey' Rhodes/Steve Rogers - #ShieldMachine  ★ Jarvis/Steve Rogers   ☆ Edwin Jarvis/Steve Rogers - #Steve x Edwin J   ☆ J.A.R.V.I.S/Steve Rogers - #Steve x JARVIS  ★ Loki/Steve Rogers - #Frostshield  ★ Namor/Steve Rogers - #Marinshield  ★ Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson - #Samtasha  ★ Natasha Romanov/Steve Rogers - #Romanogers  ★ Nick Fury/Steve Rogers - #ShieldFury  ★ Pepper Potts/Steve Rogers - #PepperShield  ★ Pepper Potts/Tony Stark - #Pepperony  ★ Pietro Maximoff/Steve Rogers - #QuickShield  ★ Phil Coulson/Steve Rogers - #Capsicoul  ★ Rachel Leighton/Steve Rogers - #DiamondShield  ★ Sam Wilson/Steve Rogers - #Americaw  ★ Scott Lang/Steve Rogers - #AntShield  ★ Stephen Strange/Steve Rogers - #StrangeShield  ★ Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers - #StevexSteve  ★ Steve Rogers/Thor - #Thundershield  ★ Steve Rogers/Tony Stark - #Stony  ★ Steve Rogers/Rumlow - #Steve x Rumlow  ★ Steve Rogers/T'Challa - #Panthershield
PLATONIC  ★ Bucky & Natasha - #Bucky & Nat  ★ Clint & Nat - #Clint & Nat  ★ Nick Fury & Avengers - #Nick Fury & Avengers  ★ Peter & Avengers - #Peter & Avengers  ★ Steve   ☆ & Avengers - #Steve & Avengers   ☆ & Clint - #Steve & Clint   ☆ & Clint Barton & Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff - #Cap's Kooky Quartet   ☆ & Bucky - #Steve & Bucky   ☆ & E Jarvis - #Steve & E Jarvis   ☆ & Howling Commandos - #Steve & Howling Commandos   ☆ & Nat - #Steve & Nat   ☆ & Sam & Bucky - #Steve & Sam & Bucky   ☆ & Sam - #Steve & Sam   ☆ & Tony - #Steve & Tony  ★ Tony & Peter - #Tony & Peter
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natrogersfics · 3 months
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Blinding Lights - A Romanogers Oneshot
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Artwork by @faith2nyc Read on AO3 Set in the So It Goes... 'verse
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Torment.
If Natasha had to choose a word to describe the first few days following her glorious night with Steve, it would be just that – complete and absolute torment.
In her attempt to return to some semblance of normalcy, she jumps at the chance to be consumed by a never-ending barrage of emails and back-to-back meetings, but it is all in vain. The memories are all too novel. She could be neck deep in work, and all it takes is one glance at Steve before she’s immediately inundated with images of him pinning her down onto her desk, the scenes of how he had owned her body in the most delicious of ways flashing in her mind like a filthy highlight reel.
Then there’s the way he shows up at her door every morning. It wasn’t in any way different to how he’s shown up for the last year, but now she’s grown attuned to it. The sound of his voice is something she finds herself looking forward to hearing as she sits at her kitchen island, sipping her cup of coffee. She can’t always make out the words, but she can tell from the light-hearted tone that regardless of which member of his team was keeping vigil at her door that night, that they are always happy to see him. It’s then as the voices fade that she waits with anticipation, listening to the pad of his footsteps until there’s a light rap against the arch of her kitchen. His grin is boyish and lopsided when he sees her, giving her an unspoken confirmation that she’s under his watch now, and that’s enough to put a little spring in her step as she gets ready for the day.
Day. Night. It didn’t matter. Thoughts of Steve lingered with her, sticking to her like the most exquisite of perfumes. It’s why she makes it a point to never think too far ahead. To stay in the moment with whomever she’s meeting with. This week she’s been organizing a fundraiser for the orphanage, and with everything from invitations to menus to review and approve, she couldn’t be more thankful for the distraction.
Come the end of the week, she pats herself on the back for only letting her mind drift to Steve twice during her last meeting. As she exits the conference room with Wanda, Red Guardian’s Head of Marketing, she’s greeted with a nod by Sam, her daytime bodyguard for the day. Steve had informed her yesterday of his impending absence, citing a contract negotiation with a new client. And while there was a part of her that was disappointed that she wouldn’t be seeing him until later on, she also found herself relieved for the brief separation. Steve’s errand was a reminder that not only did he have his own business to run, but also that he, too, had something at stake if she didn’t get this misplaced longing of hers in order.
Sam follows behind her and Wanda as they make it down the hall, and as they’re about to head in separate directions, she places a hand on Wanda’s arm. “Send me videos of Billy and Tommy’s performance this weekend, okay? I can’t wait to see them in their costumes!”
Wanda beams at the mention of her boys. “I’m so excited,” she says, tucking a strand of auburn hair behind her ear. “I got extra storage for my phone and everything.”
“They’ll do great, I’m sure of it.”
With a final smile, she waves goodbye to Wanda before heading into the awaiting elevator. As the car heads up to her office, she catches the way Sam’s hand reaches up, tapping on his earpiece. With how quiet Sam’s voice is, she can’t quite make out what he says, but a part of her wonders if he’s reporting back to Steve at their HQ. Stop. With a shake of her head, she flushes the thoughts of Steve from her mind just as the elevator comes to a halt and the doors slide open. Get it together, Romanoff.
Sam opens the door for her as they reach her office. “Thanks, Sam.”
“Anytime, Miss-” Sam pauses when she arches a brow at him, a sheepish smile breaking out on his face. “Natasha.”
“That’s more like it.”
As she enters her office, she’s immediately greeted by the sight of Loki waiting for her. She and Loki had met when they were just teenagers in boarding school, the two of them bonding over their mutual hate of the cliques that were quick to form on campus and the occasional pack of cigarettes. His company, Mischief Inc., is notorious for organizing the most extravagant bashes in the nation, and the second she had selected her first initiative as CEO, there was only one person in her mind to call.
Loki waves from his seat on the couch. “Hello, darling.”
“So nice of you to wake before the sun goes down,” she says, smiling at the nonchalant shrug he gives in response as he rises to give her a kiss on the cheek.
“You call, I come running,” Loki says as they both settle on the couch. “I’m easy like that.” She rolls her eyes playfully, prompting him to chuckle. “But I have to admit, ever since your assistant sent over your proposal, I’ve been intrigued.”
“So you’ve read it, I take,” she says, ever grateful for Daisy’s efficiency.
“Read it?” Loki says, scoffing. “Darling, the team’s already working on the interiors as we speak.”
Excitement rushes through her. When she had submitted her proposal to the board, she had highlighted the need to bring in fresh clientele to their properties. While her parents had built an empire on selling the luxury experience at their flagship hotels, they hadn’t done the best of jobs at making sure that evolved with the times. Now that she’s at the helm, she’s made it her mission to change that – starting with revamping the rooftop lounge at the Red Guardian Las Vegas, the company’s hotel overlooking the Strip that hasn’t been putting up the numbers it used to. The plan is to install an invitation-only nightclub, to have prospective patrons clamor to partake in the most coveted, if not borderline hedonistic, experience in the City of Sin. Admittedly, it’s a ballsy first initiative to take on, but she believes in her vision, and if there’s one person she knows that can help her bring it to life, it’s Loki.
“This is going to be epic,” she says, unable to keep a smile from breaking out on her lips.
“It’s going to be the talk of the town,” Loki concurs, scooting forward to reach for his tablet. “Though I hope you don’t have any other large commitments coming up. We have our work cut out for us if we’re going to make the grand opening in five weeks.”
Loki’s threat of long hours and endless days is one she welcomes with open arms. In her view, this nightclub opening is an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone – providing her both with a means to further prove herself to the board and a distraction from all her thoughts of Steve. From the thoughts of his hands on her body, roaming all over. Of all the dirty promises he’d whisper in her ear as he took her hard and deep, clearing her mind and relieving her of every burden, making her feel as though her desires weren’t so… ignoble.
And there, she realizes, is another issue she’s been avoiding. While her night with Steve had shown her what she truly craved, the fact of the matter is she’s always been curious. Vanilla had never really done it for her, and while she’s always wanted to venture out, there’s a part of her that’s always been ashamed of it. As if there’s something wrong or inappropriate about positioning herself as the capable and driven face of an esteemed Fortune 500 company during the day, but wanting to be taken, all consumingly, in the bedroom at night. It’s a dichotomy she cannot quite reconcile, nor find a partner she trusts enough to help her do so.
Until last week, that is.
“Earth to Natasha.” Loki waves a hand in front of her, chuckling when she shakes her head to focus. “Did you wander off to a different universe?”
If only. “Sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night,” she says. “You were saying?”
There’s a touch of suspicion in Loki’s expression as he regards her. “As I was saying,” Loki says, “if we’re expecting our guests to be high-profile individuals, the security here needs to be airtight.”
“Steve’s team can do it,” she says before she can even think twice about it. “At least, I can talk to him about it. See if they have the bandwidth.”
“Ah, yes,” Loki says, craning his neck as he looks around her office. “And where, may I ask, is your broody shadow lingering today?”
“He’s not here,” she says, taking in the way Loki’s brows lift in surprise. “Work errand.”
“A work errand? That’s oddly vague,” Loki says, smirking. “If I had to guess, the man probably had a long night with a-”
“Steve runs a business just like you and me, Loki,” she interrupts before her friend can go any further. “He has a duty to his team to secure the best deals that he can. But even if that’s not what he’s doing right now” – she shakes her head, swallowing down the unsettling feeling that’s suddenly washed over her at the thought – “what he does in his private life is no one’s business but his.”
It's strange, if not a touch troubling to her, how protective she suddenly feels of him. While she already knew that he laid claim to the most mischievous parts of her, she’s only now realizing that he’s wormed his way into the softest, most delicate aspects, too. How or when that happened, she isn’t really sure.
Across from her, Loki just shrugs. “Even so, you have to admit, the man is easy on the eyes.”
With that, she couldn’t argue.
It’s as she’s walking Loki to her door later on after they’ve settled on next steps that her friend turns to her, catching her by the elbow. “Is everything okay, Nat? I make light of it, but don’t think I haven’t noticed how dialed-in you’ve been in the last few days.”
“I’m fine, Loki,” she says, sighing when he stares knowingly at her. “It’s the new job, is all. You know how it is.”
While her explanation is only a half-truth, it didn’t make it any less of a fact. Loki and his sister, Sylvie, had jumped through hoops to prove to their own father that they were worthy of running their own company. If there’s someone who understands the burden of a new seat at the top, it’s him.
“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” Loki laments, his expression softening. “Just don’t work yourself to the ground, all right? Unwind every now and then.” A smirk crosses his lips as he adds, “However you would like to.”
“Get out of here,” she says, the two of them sharing a laugh as she gives his shoulder a playful shove.
Loki leaves with a wink, and as the door to her office clicks shut, she slumps back down on the couch. While she had many siblings, it’s only with Loki that she’s felt that familial bond with. Loki was her first true confidant, and while she wishes she could tell him her current predicament, there’s a part of her that just isn’t ready. And it's not because she feared his judgment. In her heart, she knows that if she ever told Loki how she would prefer to unwind, he would be the last person to shame her. What she needs to grapple with here is herself. Specifically, her lack of acceptance of the part of herself that wants another surreptitious escape with Steve. For him to put her on her hands and knees and pull on her hair as he brings her to her crest. And then after, to do what she wishes he had that night, which was to scoop her into his arms, take her to her bed, and kiss her until they both drifted off.
Her hands come up to her face as she groans, longing for all these things – all these things that just don’t seem to go together. And, more importantly, the very things she can’t have with him.
With a huff, she sits up. Maybe she couldn’t get a grasp on that version of her, but she could focus on the one she actually had a handle on. The version of her that was brought up to run this company, to take care of the people who kept this well-oiled machine running. She reaches for her phone, scrolling through her contacts until she finds the number of her favorite bakery.
By the time she hangs up, she’s scheduled two cakes to be delivered to Wanda’s as a congratulations for her boys. The task isn’t much, but on a day like today, she counts completing it as a win.
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By the second week, her yearning begins to taper. She wishes she could say it was because glancing Steve’s way didn’t make warmth spread across her chest any longer, but in reality, she’s convinced it’s only because wanting him has just become part of her personality as much as craving success and liking the color red has. But she has a grip on it enough that she and Steve resume their Wednesday ritual at the gym, and though she has to put in extra effort to remember to breathe every time he touches her to correct her form or demonstrate a new maneuver, she’s glad that the physical exertion wears her down enough to let her drift off once she’s finally made it to bed.
Her imagination, on the other hand, has been a completely different story. It’s as vivid as ever, running amuck, and as Steve accompanies her to her various functions, she sometimes catches herself wondering what it would be like to not only have him be the man looking out for her, but also the man on her arm, supporting her.
Much like she’s doing right now, as he follows close behind her as she enters the double doors of the ballroom of The Empire, Red Guardian’s crown jewel in New York. The fundraiser for the orphanage has barely started, but the room is already brimming with guests, and she need not glance back to know that Steve’s eyes are already surveilling the room, looking for possible threats and taking stock of exit routes.
“Miss Romanoff,” a young albeit tall brunette greets with a smile. “Thank you for joining us. May I take your coat?”
“Please,” she says, shedding the candy red coat she’d thrown on for the evening. “Thank you, Kate.”
Kate smiles at the recognition, handing her a coat check tag before ushering both her and Steve further inside. The ballroom is abuzz with conversation and the voice of a blues singer crooning softly, the air laced with a mix of expensive cologne and the most decadent of hors d'oeuvres. At the center, couples pack the dance floor, covering every inch of it that, if not for the fact that she had done the final review of the details for this event, she would be none the wiser about its existence.
She takes in their swarmed surroundings, turning to Steve with a smile. “Everyone’s here.”
For a moment, he doesn’t respond, and she realizes it’s because he’s fixated on her dress – taking in every detail of the strapless number she had selected for the evening, the white material adorned with red, pink, and yellow petals as it cinches at her waist and falls just a few inches above her knees. When his eyes finally meet hers, she swears his gaze looks darker around the edges, and she has to look away briefly to calm the little flutter she feels in her stomach.
“Yeah,” Steve finally says, “turnout looks excellent.”
“Daisy sent me an update on the donation figures just before we got here. We’ve already topped last year’s haul for the orphanage and the night’s barely begun.”
Steve’s lips quirk up in a smile. “It’s really great what you’re doing for them. That place, those kids… they’re lucky to have you as their advocate.”
“I was lucky to have that place,” she says. “I always go back to the first moment I met Alexei and Melina. That… hopefulness that they’d choose me. And then to find out that they did?” She sighs. “I just hope all of those children get to experience that.”
“With the help of your work, they will,” he says, prompting her to smile. “And for what it’s worth, your parents were always going to choose you, Nat.”
She eyes him skeptically. “You seem oddly sure about that.”
“Believe me,” he says softly, “resisting you is the hardest thing in the world.” An effervescence spreads across her chest at his words, but before she can respond, a waiter stops by their side, offering them both a glass of champagne. She takes one flute off the tray while Steve politely declines, and it’s only when they’re alone once more that he leans forward, his hand finding the small of her back as he whispers in her ear, “Has anyone told you how sexy you look tonight?”
Want races through her veins, hot and heavy, as she takes a sip of her drink. He’s so close to her now that she can smell his aftershave, and she knows that if she turns to look at him, it’ll take nothing short of a miracle to not pull him in. It takes her a second to find her voice, but even when she does, it’s lower than usual. “First I’m hearing of it.”
“This dress…” His hand flexes behind her, his touch light as a cloud as he caresses the fabric. “It’s almost as beautiful as the woman wearing it.”
A shiver runs down her spine. Breathe, she reminds herself, looking out into the distance in an attempt to steady her thrumming pulse. As she does, she catches a glimpse of one of the couples on the dance floor, the woman’s eyes falling shut as the man pulls her even closer to him, leaning his forehead against hers.
“Do you ever wish that were us?” Steve turns slightly at the question, following her line of sight. “Because I do,” she confesses, looking at him now. “All the time.”
His growl is quiet as his eyes find hers, but she hears it just the same. “Natasha…”
“Natasha! There you are.”
She’s not sure whether to be frustrated or relieved by the interruption, but she does not get much time to ponder her answer because the second she turns, she finds Eleanor Bishop, one of Red Guardian’s long-standing board members, approaching.
Steve takes a step back from her, and quickly, she plasters on a smile. “Eleanor, hello.”
“Marvelous event,” Eleanor says, gesturing towards the room.
“Isn’t it?” she says. “We inked a new events partnership with Mischief Inc. recently. They’ve done a phenomenal job.”
“As have you,” Eleanor says, scoffing when she begins to wave off the praise. “I know a Natasha Romanoff event when I see one, so don’t you even. Many people would have gawked at the idea of waiving the rate for the ballroom tonight.”
“Short-term loss for long-term gain,” she says with a shrug. “Any smart business person would’ve done it.”
“Oh, honey,” Eleanor says, all but scoffing. “When everyone’s out to make quick money, that’s just not true.”
“Eleanor, I can assure you that under my watch, Red Guardian will be focused on the long game.”
“I don’t doubt that,” Eleanor says. “I can’t wait to see what you do out in Vegas.”
She’s in the middle of sharing more plans for the upcoming opening when Eleanor abruptly excuses herself, muttering something about keeping her fiancé in check. As they part ways, she continues to move through the room, Steve never more than a few steps behind her as she stops to mingle with the various guests in attendance, charming her way through the conversation until whoever has their checkbook out doesn’t even realize they’re adding another zero.
It’s as she’s just finished listening to yet another venture capitalist opine about their new super yacht that her eyes wander across the room, landing once again on the couples on the dance floor. She zeroes in on the pair whispering sweet nothings to one another as they sway. Taking in the woman’s heated gaze as the man pulls away from her, she can only wonder about their exchange. If he had suggested that they leave, promising to worship her the second they were out of sight. The thought makes her shudder.
“Natasha, are you okay?” She hadn’t realized just how closely Steve had been following her until his question prompts her to spin around and nearly collide with his chest. Concern paints his features, and she takes a step back. “Are you cold?”
“No, I’m fine,” she says, shaking her head as if that will set her right. “Excuse me, I have to run to the ladies’ room.”
When she slips into the bathroom, she checks each stall, and content with the confirmation that she’s alone, she stops in front of the sink, staring at her reflection. “Fuck,” she mutters, flipping the tap on and running her wrists under the stream before letting out a frustrated sigh. One man shouldn’t be able to throw her off-kilter this way, especially not after a single night. She’s Natasha Romanoff. Against the odds, she has proven to a board full of vultures that she, and not her spiteful siblings, is the rightful successor to their father. That she can lead and take charge of the largest real estate portfolio known to man. When it comes to business, she is fearless. She knows what she wants and she isn’t afraid to do what she needs to do to get it. Certainly, she’s more unflappable than this.
Just not, apparently, when it comes to the man she wants – the very man she can’t have.
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That fucking dress was going to be the death of him.
That’s the only thing Steve can think about as he follows Natasha out of the ballroom. Her coat is draped over her shoulders again, but it doesn’t matter. He had gotten a good enough look as he watched her chat her way through the room tonight, the damn thing clinging to her body in all the right places that if he hadn’t already studied the building’s blueprint last night, he’d be seriously concerned about his ability to execute his duties.
For the last two weeks, he’s succeeded at keeping a relative distance from her. That is, settling for being close enough to protect her, but not as close as he truly wanted to be. And he gave himself credit for that. When it took every ounce of restraint he had to keep himself from pulling her in every time she so much as glanced his way, that little smile playing on her lips, he counted remaining rooted in place as a win. When every time she sat in a meeting that went on a little too long, her mind drifting off slightly as she tapped her perfectly manicured nails on the glass of the conference table – reminding him of the way those same nails had dug into his scalp as he buried his face between her thighs, making her cry out – he took his ability to bat away the memory as a sign that maybe, just maybe, they could pull off going back to business as usual.
All those minuscule wins of his, erased by one intricately stitched piece of fabric.
As they approach the elevator bank, he’s reminded of the remark he’d made in the ballroom earlier, of how beautiful her dress was – of how beautiful she was. He had meant every word, and while he didn’t regret letting her know just how stunning she looks tonight, he still chastises himself internally for placing himself right on that slippery slope.
“What time does your shift end?” Natasha asks, stopping short of pressing on the elevator’s call button.
He glances briefly at his watch. “Your night guard should already be in the lobby.”
“Guess that means you’re off the clock, then?”
“Technically.”
Natasha chews on her bottom lip. “Have a drink with me?” she asks, and taking in the skeptical look he knows crosses his features, she adds, “We can talk about Vegas.”
Every bone in his body tells him to say no. He’s already faltered once tonight. Surely, adding alcohol to the mix isn’t going to make it any easier for him to prevent himself from doing so again. Instead, he should head home, dive right back into the stack of paperwork he has on his coffee table. Or better yet, head to the gym. Go a few rounds in the ring until he’s expelled every image of her in this dress from his mind and every drop of desire he has for her from his body.
But that would be futile. He knows this for a fact because ever since that night, that’s all he’s been trying to do. But Natasha Romanoff is under his skin, and he hasn’t a clue how to get her out.
He must have stood there silently for too long because before him, Natasha suddenly shakes her head. “You know what? Forget I said anything,” she says. “You must have plans-”
“I don’t,” he interrupts, surprising them both. “I’d love to get a drink with you.”
The smile that breaks out on her face is infectious as she turns to call up the elevator. A few seconds later, the doors ping open, and he follows her inside. “Rendezvous at the top floor, Northeast corner,” he says into his earpiece as the car begins to ascend.
He hears the response within a split second. “Copy that. Heading your way.”
Natasha arches a brow. “James?”
“Clint.”
“I didn’t realize Clint put in nights as well.”
“We do our best not to put him in rotation,” he says, “but with his wife and kids out of town, he said the quiet in his house was driving him crazy.”
They both chuckle at that, and in that moment, it occurs to him that maybe this is what he needs to focus on to ensure he is on his best behavior, to remind himself that there are people like Clint who have a family to support. That there are people whose livelihoods depended on him and on his ability to run this operation just like every other contract they have.
There’s a hum in the air when they arrive at the rooftop, and as the maitre d’ escorts them further into the back, his eyes scan the room. All around, patrons huddle in their own little alcoves, conversing and sipping on top shelf liquor under the dim lighting. They settle at a private table in the back, and as Natasha slides into the booth, he spots Clint stationed by one of the pillars. With a nod at his colleague, he follows behind her.
“Thank you for agreeing to cover Vegas, by the way,” Natasha says once their server sets their drinks down.
“Pretty sure I’m the one who should be thanking you,” he says, reaching for his Scotch. “You’re the one bringing the added business to us.”
“I know you don’t like to be away from your dad for long, is all,” she says, her finger circling the rim of her Vodka soda. “And like you said, Clint has a wife and kids. Sam has a sister and nephews. James…”
“Has a dog,” he fills in for her, nodding when her brows shoot up in surprise. “Roscoe.”
She giggles, the sound making his own lips curl in a smile. “For some reason, in my mind, I always thought he’d be a cat person.”
“Don’t be fooled,” he says. “He may act all aloof, but deep down, he enjoys that Roscoe needs him.”
“Noted,” she says, still grinning. “Regardless, thank you. I know you all give up a lot to protect me.”
There are many reasons why he craves this woman the way his lungs crave air, but it’s this, the kindness and compassion she has for everyone around her, that sits atop of the list. “You’re worth it,” he says softly, watching as she looks down in an attempt to hide the flush that colors her cheeks. “Besides, I’m sure the old man wouldn’t mind having a few days off from me nagging him to hit the gym.”
“You are a hardass at the gym,” she says, chuckling at the withering glare he shoots her way. “Have you ever been to Vegas?”
“Once,” he replies. “The scene over there isn’t really my thing.”
Her eyes light up with intrigue, and she shifts closer to him. “What is your thing, Steve?”
He stills when he feels the slight brush of her thigh against his, but the answer to her question comes to him almost instantly. You. But that’s not an answer you give your client. It’s not even one you give to a friend. So instead, he brings his drink to his lips, taking a sip as he contemplates his response.
“Consistency,” he finally says, “whether that’s with how I execute a job or how I go about my workout plan. Now, some people” – he smirks when she tips her chin up in challenge, her eyes narrowing at him – “find that stringent, but I think it helps me appreciate the outcomes more.”
Natasha’s gaze travels from his face, to his shoulders, and then down to his arms. “Trust me, you’re not the only one that appreciates those.”
“Natasha.” It’s the second time he’s said her name in warning in a matter of hours, but it’s a frivolous one at best, and they both know it.
Guilt races through her features. “I’m sorry,” she says, bringing her head to her hands. “I don’t mean to make your job any harder than it already is.” She sighs. “It’s just the last couple of weeks… They’ve been a struggle for me.”
“Hey,” he says, moving even closer to her, his hand falling to where the hem on her dress falls above her knee. He’s playing with fire now, but he’ll be damned if he lets her think that she’s alone in this affliction. “It’s been hell for me, too.”
“Doesn’t seem that way,” she whispers, and it kills him, how genuine the look in her eyes is as she stares up at him. As if keeping away from her could be anything but agony.
“Looks can be deceiving,” he says, running his thumb across her skin as he leans in. “How can I not be in hell when the mere thought of you…” He shakes his head. “Has me hard every goddamn time, Nat.”
Her glossy lips part at his words, her chest rising as she takes in a breath, and the only thing he can think about is how much he wants to lean down even further to trail kisses down the column of her throat, to nip at her pulse in the way that drives her crazy. His other hand tightens around his glass, so much so that he’s surprised it doesn’t shatter in his grasp.
Her eyes are brimming with desperation when he leans away, and he doesn’t need a mirror to tell him that his own are, too. “But nothing’s changed, has it?”
It would be so easy to tell her she’s wrong. To pull her in, and once and for all, end this mutual misery they’ve apparently been cohabitating in for the last two weeks. It’s all he wants, and yet, the truth remains. He sighs. “I’m never going to stop needing you to be safe.”
The way his words cause sadness to cloud her eyes is nothing short of devastating. Nevertheless, he finds that he means every word just as much, if not more, than when he first said it at her place that night. Only this time, doing what he has to do – the right thing – has become that much more difficult because he can feel his will dwindling, slowly but surely unraveling at the seams. It’s one thing to want to map every inch of her body, to lose himself in her in some vain attempt to satiate his need to know every bit of her sumptuous frame. That’s the easy part. What isn’t easy is the fact that he’s now certain he wants her mind and soul just as much, too.
The waitress brings them a fresh round of drinks, and that seems to be enough for them to leave the subject at that. They spend the next hour talking about anything else – Vegas, the latest documentary he’s been into, her sadness over her favorite bodega closing down. Somewhere along the way, they move onto scrutinizing their fellow patrons, creating stories about them and playfully placing bets on how their nights will end.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t actually bet any money,” he says later on when their drinks are just about done, nodding in the direction of a woman bidding a man goodbye two tables down. “They’re not going home together.”
“Yeah,” she says, looking their way. “Looks like you win.”
“I guess I do,” he says quietly, even when he knows that couldn’t be further from the truth. When he wants her as much he does, not being able to have her feels like the biggest loss there is.
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If affirming his need to keep her safe that night at her fundraiser was supposed to do anything, making wanting her any less was apparently not on that list. In the week that follows, Natasha’s schedule grows brutal in a way it’s never been since he’s come to work for her. With the opening of the nightclub and their impending trip to Vegas nearing, she’s all business as she and her friend and business partner, Loki, comb through every detail as thoroughly as they can. Despite that, as he shadows her from one commitment to the next, he finds himself longing for her more than ever.
It frustrates him if only for the fact that it doesn’t make any sense. If she’s not in a meeting, she’s shuffling across town trying to get to the next one, all while taking calls and shooting out emails in between. She barely has time to scarf down the lunch Daisy adamantly insists she eats everyday, much less talk to him. He hasn’t a clue what it is about seeing her this way that makes his mind continue to wonder about things it shouldn’t, but it does just the same.
Every single time she’s gotten her way in a meeting, the second it’s over, he’s wanted nothing more than to push her up against the wall of her office. When she presented the final plans for the Red Room – the name for the nightclub that she and Loki had settled on – he felt his heart just about ready to burst with pride seeing her win over even the most skeptical of board members. Then, at the end of each day, as she sits in the back of the SUV, nearly drifting off in exhaustion as they head back home, it’s only by a feat of strength that he’s kept himself from reaching out to her, from pressing his hands into her tense shoulders and dusting a kiss to her neck.
Hindsight being what it is, he realizes how superbly idiotic it was of him to think that giving into her once was going to miraculously get her out of his system. While she had become the star of his fantasies only shortly after he met her, now that he knows what she tastes like and what it feels like to have her in his arms, those images have only grown more crazed in his mind, more specific. And no matter what he does, what he forces himself to remember is at stake, he cannot, for the life of him, get her out of his head. His entire existence has ostensibly become a practice in resisting her, and for the sake of his sanity, he opts to take it one day at a time instead of wondering about just how long he can continue to withstand it all.
Days before they’re set to leave for Vegas, he follows Natasha into the elevator of her building. It’s two hours later than when they had intended to get back, but given how the last week has gone, he’s hardly going to complain.
“Daisy, I don’t care if he offers to unearth the Strip and carry it to the lobby,” Natasha says into her phone just as he leans back against the rail and the doors slide closed. “We’re keeping the guest list tight, so please tell Mr. Hammer that if he insists on taking every person in his entourage, Tao at the Venetian is very much still open.” With a thank you to her assistant, she hangs up, and in seconds, she toes off her heels, moaning in relief as her feet sink into the plush carpet. “Oh, thank God.”
“Natasha Romanoff without heels on,” he says, a smirk crossing his lips. “Someone alert the press.”
Despite her exhaustion, she manages to chuckle. “Be glad I’m too tired to hit you right now,” she says. “Besides, nothing you haven’t seen before.”
“Well,” he says, bending down to pick up her shoes. “If I remember correctly-”
The words die at the tip of his tongue the second he scoops her heels up by their straps, his throat growing dry as he takes in the shining black leather and the thin yet sky-high stilettos – the very same pair she had worn when he had let his desire for her topple his self-control. When he looks up at Natasha, the heat in her eyes is enough to tell him that she, too, is thinking back to that same night, all those weeks ago.
“Didn’t have to take them off then,” she whispers.
As she says that, he’s reminded of the way these heels had dug into the surface of her desk, screeching against the wood as he hiked her legs up and his fingers delved into the hot clutch of her body, making her keen. He swallows at the memory. “No,” he says, his voice sounding strained as he slowly, and almost hesitantly, hands her shoes back to her. “No, you didn’t.”
The elevator dings, signaling their arrival on her floor, and he nearly huffs out a breath of relief as they both exit. As he’s done every night, he walks her to the door of her suite, only this time, as they both linger outside, it’s as though the frame looms large.
Natasha leans against the door, her hand falling to the knob. “Steve…”
The way she says his name, like an invitation back into their lustful bubble, causes his hands to ball at his sides. “Natasha.”
His body aches with want as he stands before her, his hands desperate to curl around her hips and pull her flush to him. He wants nothing more than to kiss her breathless, carry her inside, and spread her out on her sheets, bound and begging – the way he knows she likes. The way he knows they both crave. And with one twist of the knob and a step inside, he could make all of that happen.
But then there would be the aftermath. Unlike that first night, he doesn’t think he has the wherewithal to walk away. Because he knows now that it’s not just sex with her. It never was. When all is said and done and they're both sated, he’ll still want the rest of her, too. And that’s something he knows he can’t have.
It’s with that thought that he lets out a wistful sigh. “You look great in those shoes,” he says, his eyes drifting to where they’re still dangling from her other hand before looking back at her. “And if it’s any consolation, you’ll be wearing them when I get home, too.”
The last thing he sees as he turns to leave is the way her lips part, her green eyes glimmering with unbridled desire. And as he makes his way back down the hall, he finds himself inwardly cursing. He’s not sure who it is that said time makes everything easier, but one thing he knows for certain is that whoever it is, is a bald-faced liar. All these weeks haven’t made resisting Natasha any easier, not one bit. It’s harder. So much harder.
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The nerves hit her a few days before the opening. It’s subtle, so much so that if it weren’t for the fact that he’s spent all this time watching her, it probably would be imperceptible. But from his seat across the aisle from her on the Red Guardian jet, he sees it – the faraway look in her eyes as she stares out the window, her fingers mindlessly twirling the charm dangling from her bracelet.
“Thank you,” he says when the attendant comes up to him, setting down the drink he’d requested. As she leaves, he picks up the cup and rises from his seat to make his way across.
Natasha looks up as he approaches, arching a brow in question when he places the drink in front of her. She peers under the lid to check its contents. “It’s tea.”
He settles down on the seat across from her, doing his best to keep from smiling at the way her lower lip juts out in a pout. “It is.”
“If I wanted to drink wet potpourri, I would just take the pouches in the lavatory,” she says, pushing the cup away from her before crossing her arms over her chest. “I’d rather have-”
“Watermelon Sour Patch Kids,” he finishes for her, shaking his head when her face lights up. “I know, but sugar will only make the jitters worse.” A mix of surprise and what he thinks might be embarrassment colors her expression, prompting her to look away. “Hey,” he says softly, scooting forward in his seat. “Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing,” she says, watching the clouds float by the window. Eventually, she looks back at him, sighing when she finds him still waiting patiently. “I don’t know, I guess there’s just a lot riding on this opening, and now that it’s almost here…” She shrugs. “I just really need this to go well.”
"And it will.”
“You don’t know that. Not for certain.”
“Yeah, maybe I don’t have a crystal ball.” He sighs in concession. “But if the last few weeks are anything to go by, what I do know for certain is that you’ve dotted every I and crossed every T that you can,” he says. “Now it’s time to trust your process. Watch it all play out.”
“Logically, I know that…” she says, resting her hands on the table in front of her before smiling. “I suppose patience has just never been my strong suit.”
“Now, even I know better than to answer that when you have a cup of steaming hot liquid within reach.”
“That you gave me, no less.”
“Clearly, I could learn a thing or two from you about decision-making,” he says, causing them both to chuckle. “Seriously, though. Everything will work out, you’ll see.”
“Yeah,” she says, her tone growing wistful as she quietly adds, “I wish they were here, though.”
There are days where she’s so prolific at masking her grief that it’s difficult to remember that that tragic day wasn’t so long ago. But as he looks at her now, the pain in her eyes clear as day, he’s reminded of how fresh the wound still is, and, as his own experience with loss has shown him, how it will continue to be for quite some time.
“I know it could never be the same,” he says, reaching forward to catch the oval charm of her bracelet between his thumb and forefinger – the same one that her mother had handed down to her when she was younger, and the same one she now keeps a picture of her parents in. “But they’ll always be with you, Nat.”
She nods at that, smiling softly and taking the charm into her own hands as he leans back into his seat. “Hey, Steve?” he hears her call out a beat later. He looks at her, eyes questioning. “I’m glad you’re here,” she says. “I know you’re technically working, but-”
“Natasha,” he interrupts. “There’s no place I’d rather be than right here, watching your six.”
There’s a flutter in his chest as she looks down, her hair falling around her face concealing the smile that was already breaking out on her lips.
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“Don’t you think this is a tad overkill?” Natasha says as they sit in the back of the SUV enroute to the hotel.
He looks to see her eyes panning from Sam, who’s behind the wheel, and then to Bucky in the passenger’s seat. His lip part to respond, but Bucky beats him to it. “It’s really more for Steve. Wouldn’t want him to get his ass kicked out there.”
“Hilarious,” he deadpans as everyone laughs, glaring at Bucky through the rearview mirror as the man smirks in response. He turns back to Natasha. “And since we’re going into new territory this week, the answer is no, it’s not overkill.”
“I guess you’re right,” she says as she looks forward, her brow suddenly arching in what he thinks might be amusement.
It’s as Bucky mutters a curse that he finally looks out the windshield to see the hotel come into view, a swarm of photographers forming a sea of flashing lights right in the roundabout leading to the front entrance of the hotel.
“Jesus,” Sam says, “I thought the opening wasn’t for another three days!”
“It isn’t,” Natasha says, completely unfazed by the scene as she lets out a little chuckle. “Fellas, may I introduce you to Loki Laufeyson’s penchant for everything grandiose and dramatic.”
He presses his lips into a line. “Sam, circle around back-”
“It’s fine,” Natasha says, placing a hand on his arm.
“Are you sure?” he asks, surprised. In the past, she hasn’t cared for the cameras, much less when she’s just trying to check into her own hotel. “We can get you through, but that’s a circus.”
“Normally, I’d say no,” she admits. “But this is all part of Loki’s media coverage plan for the opening. All press being good press and all that.” And then, cracking a smile, she adds, “Unless, of course, you think I’m too hideous to be photographed right now.”
He scoffs at the notion, turning to Sam. “Stay the course.” At his behest, Sam turns into the roundabout, the cacophony of clicks and rumbled voices growing louder as the car comes to a full stop by the entrance. “Vultures,” he says, more to himself than anyone else as he slips his aviators on. With his hand on the door handle, he looks back at Natasha. “Stay behind me, all right?”
“Lead the way,” she says, and despite the ruckus surrounding them, the smile she gives him is so confident and trusting that he can’t help but crack a smile too, momentarily forgetting his annoyance at the situation.
He exits the car first, nodding at the bellhop that motions towards the trunk and finding himself thankful when he sees that someone had at least thought to cordon off a path to the entrance. With the assurance that there’s a clear lane forward, he turns to reach his hand out to Natasha to help her down. The clicks and flashes intensify the second she steps out and into the view of the photographers, and it’s only when he sees Bucky slot in a few steps behind her that he begins to forge his way inside.
“See, now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Natasha teases the second they clear the lobby.
“Still harder than slipping through the back door.”
She sneaks a glance at Bucky. “Is he always such a Debbie Downer?”
“Oh, he can do that all day,” Bucky says.
He narrows his eyes at them both. “If the two of you-”
“Look who finally decided to show up.”
He turns towards the sound of the interruption to see Loki making his way towards them, the man looking ever dapper in a perfectly tailored suit and slicked back hair. “Took you long enough,” Loki says, pulling Natasha into his arms.
“Well, I would have gotten here sooner, but someone unleashed a jungle on my front lawn,” Natasha says as they pull away, jokingly shooting Loki a withering look before pointing her thumbs at him and Bucky. “You may or may not owe these two an apology.”
“Gentlemen, my apologies for making your jobs harder this afternoon,” Loki says, sounding sincere in spite of his light tone. “All a necessary evil, I’m afraid.” He gives Loki a single nod in acknowledgement, and if the man is at all bothered by the curt response, he does not show it as he turns his attention back to Natasha and points towards the elevator bank. “Shall we? Sylvie received some last minute documents from the contractor. There are a few things I wanted to go over.”
Natasha nods, and as she and Loki huddle over a tablet, their discussion already beginning, he leads the way towards the elevators. He’s about to press on the call button when the doors slide open, revealing a single occupant standing at the center, and quickly, he catalogs the stranger’s appearance – taking in everything from his lanky physique to the ruby red lenses of his spectacles that gleam underneath the fluorescent lighting.
The man takes in the scene before him, a smile suddenly breaking out on his face. “Natasha?”
At the mention of her name, Natasha looks up from the screen. “Matt,” she says, her eyes lighting up in recognition. “What are you doing here?”
He watches as the man – Matt, he reminds himself – steps out of the elevator, and he has to move slightly to the side as Matt comes to stand in front of Natasha, leaning down to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.
“I had a conference that got postponed at the last minute,” Matt says before looking at Loki. “I was about to dive into some new cases until I saw that Loki sent over an invitation for the Red Room’s opening this weekend.”
He watches as a tinge of surprise paints Natasha’s features, but in a flash, she blinks it away as she turns to smile a little too sweetly at Loki, who shrugs nonchalantly in response. “Far be it for me to gatekeep a good time.”
“Well, I’m glad you could make it,” Natasha says as she turns back to Matt. “It’s been a while.”
“So am I, and it really has. It’s so good to see you,” Matt says before eyeing the rest of them. “The added audience notwithstanding.”
His brows furrow at Matt’s comment, and it is only Natasha’s chuckle that prevents a dagger of a glare from completely forming in his eyes. “I like to keep good company,” she says. “Matt, this is Steve Rogers and James Barnes. Their team will be running security for the opening.”
“We also provide round-the-clock security for Ms. Romanoff,” he says, giving the hand Matt stretches out to him a firm shake.
“I see,” Matt says before placing a hand on Natasha’s arm, his voice growing quiet as he adds, “Is everything okay, now? I know for a while there…”
He’s not sure why Matt’s words only stoke his mounting annoyance – the man is showing concern for Natasha, after all. And yet, something about this person being privy to something so personal about her makes him feel as though there’s a steel ball lodged in his chest.
“So far, so good,” Natasha says, shifting to meet his gaze for the briefest of moments as she adds, “helps to know someone’s watching your six.”
His lips threaten to quirk upwards in a smile at her words, and he looks away in an attempt to hide it just as Matt hums in response. “I’m glad things are looking up then,” Matt says before glancing at his watch. “I was actually just headed out to meet a few friends, but is there any chance you two are free for dinner?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Natasha begins. “There’s just-”
“We’ll be there,” Loki pipes in, prompting Natasha’s head to whip to him suddenly.
“We can even have it here in the hotel restaurant,” Matt adds, as if sensing Natasha’s reluctance. “That way, you two can get back to work right after.”
Loki beams. “Then it’s settled, we’ll see you this evening.”
“Great,” Matt says before glancing at Natasha once more. “It was great seeing you, Tash.”
“You too, Matt.”
Quickly, he presses a knuckle down on the call button, prompting the elevator doors to slide open once again. He walks in, situating himself in the corner with his back to the wall. Tash?
Bucky mans the panel, and the second they all filter in and the doors close, Natasha turns to Loki, her green eyes glaring. “What the hell was that about?”
“What was what about?” Loki replies all too nonchalantly.
“You know what,” Natasha insists, crossing her arms over her chest. “We barely have enough time as it is, we certainly shouldn’t be wasting it on some dinner.”
“Oh, relax, will you,” Loki says. “I know we have an endless list of things to double and triple check before the opening, but surely even we have to eat.”
“That’s what room service is for.”
“We might be here for business, darling, but it wouldn’t kill you to live a little.”
The ensuing smirk that finds its way to Loki’s lips causes his shoulders to tense, and he watches as an exasperated look paints Natasha’s face. “Loki-”
“Matty Murdock has always had a thing for you, and you know it,” Loki says before she can finish her protestation, and from where he stands, he has to shift on his feet. “And from what I remember of you two in boarding school-”
“Matt is married, ” Natasha says, and he nearly breathes out a sigh of relief at her words.
“Not as of six months ago,” Loki volley back, and he catches the way Natasha takes a step back in surprise at the news. “Look, I’m not telling you to start anything back up with the man, but we are in the City of Sin.” There’s a glint in Loki’s eyes as he suggestively adds, “Have some fun with the handsome devil.”
If Natasha responds, he does not hear it through the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. He looks up at the glowing numbers above the doors, watching them increase with every floor they pass as he bites on the inside of his cheek. While tight spaces hadn’t been a worry for him before, it’s as though the walls are closing in on him now, his chest feeling as though there’s a weight bearing down on it.
The telltale ping of the elevator snaps him back, and the decision comes to him in a flash, his eyes immediately finding Bucky’s as everyone begins to exit. “You got it from here?”
Bucky blinks at him for a second. “Sure…”
“You’re leaving?”
He looks to find Natasha staring at him, a touch of worry in her expression. “Clint wants to go through the security plans a final time.”
“Oh, okay,” she says just as he hits the button for the lobby. “I’ll see you later then?”
“Might be awhile,” he says, “but Sam will be in for the night shift.”
He doesn’t wait for her response, nor does he see it as the doors close and he turns to lean his forehead against the wall, letting out a long and winded sigh.
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“That Ossobuco was the best I’ve ever had,” Loki says as he sets his utensils down on his empty plate. “No wonder the Venetian hates you so much.”
Natasha smirks over her wine glass. It took a lot of convincing and a more than generous compensation package, but her first win in her quest to revamp this hotel was poaching the chef of the Venetian’s Michelin star restaurant away, and if Loki’s comment and the seemingly endless waitlist to get a reservation is any indication, the move’s already paying off in spades. “If they valued their assets enough, they would have paid them what they’re worth.”
“Ever the shark,” Matt says teasingly, smiling at her from across the table.
Next to her, Sharon scoffs. “Are you surprised?”
While she’s known Loki and Matt since her very first day at boarding school, Sharon had become part of their fold when she enrolled a few semesters later. Nevertheless, her spunky, devil-may-care attitude made them fast friends, and while they’ve endeavored to keep in touch, dinners between the four of them have been few and far in between with Sharon running her consulting firm out East. It’s only by a stroke of luck that Sharon’s visit to the country had coincided with the Red Room’s opening.
“I never said it was a bad thing,” Matt says, tipping his glass of bourbon towards her. “Eat or be eaten, right?”
“You know it,” she says, leaning back against her chair as they all share a laugh.
Despite her initial misgivings about this dinner, she’s glad that Loki had all but dragged her to attend. With the Red Room’s impending opening, her nerves have been frayed, and she’s glad for the temporary reprieve the last few hours have brought her as the four of them reminisced about what a handful their quartet had been back in their adolescence. All things considered, it’s nearly a perfect night.
Nearly.
Her eyes wander towards where Steve stands a few feet away, his hands behind his back as he keeps an eye on their surroundings. She didn’t quite know what to make of his abrupt departure this afternoon, or even if there’s anything to make of it. While she had grown accustomed to him accompanying her throughout the day, it’s not as though it’s been written in ink. He, too, had a company to run, and if Clint had something to discuss with him, then that’s something he should be able to attend to without her being overcome with some semblance of dread over his absence.
That’s the reality, and yet there’s a part of her that she can’t quite ignore – the part of her that senses that something’s not quite right. She was glad to see him eventually return, knocking at her door at six on the dot to escort her down to the restaurant. Even so, a silence lingered between them. It’s unusual given that if there’s anything that came easily to them since day one, it’s always been the conversation. And she knows it’s not due to Loki’s added presence, either. Steve’s never been reticent around her friend before, and she doesn’t believe there’s any reason for that to change now.
If nothing else, his sudden lack of words is jarring when just this morning, she thought they had shared a moment on the jet when he had helped alleviate her concerns about the Red Room’s opening and the absence of her parents. What’s shifted since then, she can only guess.
“What’s the deal with you and your bodyguard?”
Sharon’s question interrupts her thoughts, and when she blinks to focus, she sees that her friend has a brow arched at her in question. She steals a glance in front of her to see Matt and Loki engaged in conversation before turning back to Sharon. “Excuse me?”
“The gorgeous dreamboat that follows you around all day,” Sharon clarifies before nodding in Steve’s direction. “You’ve been looking his way ever since we got here.”
“I’ve been looking in that direction because we got intel that the woman seated in the table in front of him is a columnist from La Liste,” she says, reaching for her wine. “Her review could literally make or break this restaurant, so I’ve been trying to gauge her reaction.”
“Are you ever not working?” Sharon quips, to which she only shrugs unapologetically. “So, there’s nothing going on between you and…”
“Steve,” she finishes for her. “And, come on, Sharon, we work together. He’s the head of my security team.”
“And that’s a problem because…”
This time, she’s the one that quirks up a brow. “Do you fraternize with any of your consultants?”
“None of my consultants look like that,” Sharon counters, prompting her to roll her eyes in response. “Do you know anything about him then? Specifically, if he’s seeing anyone?”
“I don’t know,” she says, and she finds herself bothered by the fact that it’s the truth. Sure, they shared a night together a little over a month ago, and while they’ve been sneaking lingering gazes and errant touches in the weeks since, she realizes that she doesn’t actually know what goes on after he leaves. What she does know for certain though, is that the idea of him with someone else feels like a punch to the gut.
“It’s really just work between you two then,” Sharon muses before chuckling. “I have to hand it to you, Romanoff. You’re a better woman than I could ever be. Because if I had someone like that following me around all day?” She shakes her head. “I would get to know him very, very well.”
“Different strokes for different folks and all that,” she mutters, reaching for her drink.
“You wouldn’t mind me getting to know him then, would you?”
Her glass freezes midair at Sharon’s question, and, more saliently, at the suggestive smirk on her friend’s lips. Every cell in her body wants her to tell Sharon the truth – that yes, she does mind. She minds very much. Only, she knows she has absolutely no right to. Steve isn’t something to lay claim over, and even if that were the case, he still wouldn’t be hers. He couldn’t be. And that’s why, despite the unease that settles over her, she plasters on the best smile that she can muster. “Since when do you ask for permission anyway?”
“That’s true,” Sharon says, chuckling as she brings her glass to her lips, downing the rest of its contents in one go.
It’s as they’re saying their goodbyes at the end of their meal that she watches as Sharon makes a beeline for Steve, extending her hand out to him.
“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met,” Sharon says. “I’m Sharon Carter, Natasha’s friend.”
“Steve Rogers,” he says, smiling politely as he shakes her hand. “I’m-”
“The head of Natasha’s security team,” Sharon says, smiling. “She mentioned.”
If Steve is at all impressed by Sharon’s response, she doesn’t see it as Matt comes up to her, a little grin playing on his lips. “So, I was wondering…”
“I’m pretty sure those exact words got us into a lot of trouble way back when,” she quips, eliciting a laugh from Matt.
“Luckily, things have changed a bit since then.”
“Have they really?”
“Hey, I did say a bit,” Matt says before shaking his head. “Anyway, back to that thing I was wondering about… Any chance you’re still very much into ballet?”
She smiles. “Always.”
“Perfect,” Matt says, his face lighting up, “because there’s a show tomorrow at the Smith Center. Come with me?”
“Oh, Matt,” she says. “I would love to, but-”
“But nothing,” Loki interjects, draping an arm over her shoulders. “She’ll be there.”
She looks incredulously up at Loki. “The opening is literally the night after tomorrow.”
“So Sylvie and I will handle the final run-throughs,” Loki reasons. “If anything comes up, we’ll give you a ring. Hand to God.”
“I don’t know…”
“What if we play it by ear?” Matt suggests. “I know you’re busy, but if by the end of the day tomorrow, you happen to find yourself with some time to spare, the offer will still stand then.” He shrugs. “Give me a call, maybe?”
Even with Loki’s offer to cover the rest of the final arrangements, she doesn’t need to check her calendar to know that her schedule is brimming tomorrow. Nevertheless, the unadulterated sincerity in Matt’s tone makes it difficult for her to outright refuse. “Okay,” she says. “I’ll let you know.”
Matt beams. “Perfect.”
The silence is suffocating as she and Steve stand in the elevator as it ascends onto her floor, and as it bleeds into their walk to her suite, she finally turns to him. “Is everything okay?”
Steve shrugs. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Ever since you left in a hurry this afternoon, you’ve been off,” she notes, catching the way he steals a glance at something over her head. She looks back to see that Sam is already on the other end of the hall, the man dutifully staring forward, presumably to give them some semblance of privacy. With a sigh, she lowers her voice. “You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever it is.”
A litany of emotions paint his face, and for a moment, she’s hopeful that he’ll finally let her in on whatever it is that’s been bothering him. Instead, she’s disappointed to see him shake his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course not,” she says, feeling a little like she’s just been slapped in the face. She turns to continue walking, but sensing his presence still behind her, she looks back at him. “Sam’s down the hall. You can go now.”
She doesn’t bother to check his reaction – if he even has any – as she begins to make her way to her suite. Once inside, she leans back against the door, tipping her head back and closing her eyes.
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“Comms check. Confirm eyes on Red. Over.”
“Affirmative,” Steve says. “I have eyes on Red.”
As Clint acknowledges his response, he looks back towards the sea of flashing lights just a few feet away, watching as Natasha smiles for the cameras with one hand poised at her waist. Behind her, the logo of the Red Room glows crimson, providing a stark contrast to the jet-black two-piece number she had selected for the evening.
To say that his breath had gotten caught in his throat when he knocked on her door this evening to escort her to the rooftop would be an understatement. The second she pulled open the door of her suite and he laid eyes on her, for a beat there, it’s as though he had forgotten how to breathe altogether. From the deep V of her sleeveless blazer that showed off her perfect, alabaster skin to the satin dress pants that accentuated her shapely legs, there was no question that her suit was tailor made for her. She had kept her makeup light for the evening too, settling for darkened lashes that somehow made her green eyes look brighter and a light pink gloss on her already luscious lips. He isn’t certain how she managed to look both ethereal and still every bit the powerful CEO that she is, but just the sight of her was almost enough to make him forget the tension that’s built between them since arriving in Vegas.
Only, he can’t, and as he spots Matt making his way up the red carpet towards Natasha, pulling her in for a hug once he reaches her, he remembers why. As Matt and Natasha pose for pictures together, he shifts his weight on his feet, doing his best to prevent a scowl from forming on his face. Truth be told, if there’s tension between him and Natasha now, he knows he had precipitated it. To see her interact with Matt in the lobby when they arrived – that is, to witness the familiarity Matt had with Natasha and her life – was one thing. But once he caught wind of their history as Loki had all but encouraged Natasha to seek Matt out while they were in town, the very idea of Natasha with someone else had caused a hot streak of jealousy to singe its way down his entire being. Misplaced as the emotion was, he knew he needed to get out of there, which is why he had made up some lame excuse about having to meet with Clint.
A walk had done wonders to calm him down. With his emotions in order, he had found the courage to make it back to her floor in time to escort her down for dinner, fully intending to apologize to her for his behavior once he got the chance. But as luck would have it, as they were leaving the restaurant, he heard Matt ask her to the ballet. If she had accepted the invitation happily, he doesn’t know. Before he could hear her reaction, Sharon, her friend, had come up to him to introduce herself.
Not that it mattered. By the time he and Natasha had made it to the elevator, that unsettling feeling had returned to his gut, and though he felt terrible about the hurt look that crossed Natasha’s face at his curt response to her question about what was bothering him, all he could focus on was the idea of her potentially spending more time with Matt. But his premonition hadn’t been wrong, it seemed. By morning, when Daisy had emailed Natasha's agenda for the day, he saw that she had the entire evening blocked out for the ballet.
If there was any saving grace, it was that he wasn’t her night guard. And while he thought that avoiding the sight of Natasha and Matt together would provide him some sort of reprieve, his mind had other ideas. He had thought to sublimate at the gym, but it was to no avail. It didn’t matter how many times he pounded his fists into the sand-filled bag before him, no amount of force could exorcise the images of Matt peeling Natasha out of her dress from his mind.
As he focuses his attention back towards the carpet, he watches as Natasha begins to walk towards the entrance of the Red Room, and he grits his teeth when he sees the hand Matt places on the small of her back. With a sigh, he turns to follow them. He’d lost count of the number of night watches he’d done during his tenure in the Army, but somehow, something tells him that this night would shape out to be the longest of his life.
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“What’s Red’s shithead of a brother doing here?”
From his position by the bar, he looks towards where Clint is stationed up on the balcony, his arms resting against the metal rails as he keeps an eye on the teeming crowd from up above.
“Which one?” Bucky asks from somewhere by the dance floor.
Sam scoffs. “Does it matter?”
“I guess not,” Clint concedes, “but I hope his business acumen is better than his dancing. If not, Red’s really holding this entire family up.”
“He’s here because he can’t resist a photo op and because the board doesn’t want the press to know that there’s a rift amongst the siblings,” Steve says, his tone clipped. “And keep the line clear.”
As a cacophony of apologies fill his ear, he mutes his microphone before huffing out a breath. There’s a part of him that knows that he’s being unfair to the team. His foul mood has nothing to do with their banter – usually, their snarky back-and-forth made working shifts like this fly by – and all to do with the fact that he chose to be in the field today of all days.
The thought is one he finds himself lamenting as he turns his gaze to his left, to where Natasha is sitting on one of the oversized couches, nursing a Martini as she chats with Loki and a group of their friends. Matt sits next to her, one arm draped around the back of the couch, and he doesn’t miss the way the man’s fingers caress Natasha’s bare shoulder every now and then. Much as he’d like to look away, he can’t. Regardless of how much the sight causes his blood to boil, it's his job to watch her. Even so, every single time he catches the gesture, he can’t help but curse his inability to stay put. He could have been the type of business owner that kept to balancing the books and negotiating their contracts, but because he’s physically incapable of remaining within the four walls of his office, he’s left with no choice but to watch another man do the one thing he wishes he could: touch the woman he’s absolutely crazy about.
It's then that reality crashes over him like a ton of bricks. Everything from his fetid mood to the tension that’s found a home seemingly in every muscle in his body since they walked into the hotel lobby a few days ago has nothing to do with Matt Murdoch specifically. And, despite what he’s been trying to convince himself of these past few days, it doesn’t even have anything to do with the history Matt shared with Natasha. The latter was none of his business, and when it came to the former, he barely knows the man outside of what he’s heard about his life in passing during what felt like the longest elevator ride of his life. Surely, what little he does know about him isn’t enough to warrant the hate he feels coursing through him every time he sees him.
But as he watches Matt lean in to whisper something in Natasha’s ear, causing her to laugh, he realizes that what he’s truly envious of are the possibilities Matt has. If Matt wanted to and Natasha was so inclined, he could wine and dine her. Matt could take Natasha’s hand and intertwine their fingers as he guided her through a crowd. The two of them could be out in the open together and no one would bat an eye. With them, being together would have zero consequences – the complete opposite of what it would be like for him and Natasha.
He swallows the sudden tightness that’s formed in his throat, and he peels his eyes away from Natasha for a second as he taps on his earpiece again. “Stepping off,” he says, already turning. “Sam, take my 20.”
“You got it, Cap.”
With Sam’s confirmation, he weaves his way through the crowd and towards the back of the club before slipping into the bathroom. At the sink, he splashes his face, repeating the action once, twice, and then another time in hopes that the frigid water will temper the bitter cocktail of longing and jealousy still burning its way through his entire being. When it doesn’t, he curls his hands around the sink, groaning in frustration and wanting nothing more than to rip it right off the wall.
Natasha isn’t his to covet. He has absolutely no right to feel this way – especially when it was he who had told her that being together would only compromise her safety. And yet, the very idea of her with someone else feels like a blade slicing right through his chest. The risks are crystal clear in his mind, and while he knows he won’t be able to live with himself should they ever play out, it’s as though his heart outright refuses to accept the reality.
He looks up at the mirror before him, studying his reflection, and while his face is hardened by the impasse he finds himself trapped in, somewhere in there he recognizes parts of the man he still is. The man who, regardless of the circumstances, always does the right thing. Who puts the people he cares about first. And while he may be at a crossroads now, what’s clear to him is that he needs to find a way to go back to completely being that man. For that man would never jeopardize the livelihoods of his peers. And, above all, that man would never let anything get in the way of protecting the woman who’s covertly clawed her way into his heart – his feelings be damned.
It's with that newfound determination that he lets go of the sink, shuts the water off, and dries his face. As he exits, he reaches for his earpiece. “On my-”
“Fancy running into you here.”
He looks up to find Sharon standing there, looking elegant in a little black dress and her pin-straight mane falling down her shoulders like a golden curtain. He musters a smile. “Sharon, hi. Nice to see you again.”
“Likewise,” Sharon says, her lips coyly curling upwards. “I was actually hoping you’d be here tonight.”
“Is that right?”
Sharon nods, tilting her head to the side. “Any chance I could interest you in joining me for a drink?”
“Sharon,” he says, chuckling quietly as his gaze falls momentarily to his feet. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m on the clock-”
“Oh, come on,” Sharon says, taking a step forward so that mere inches separate them. “We’re at the hottest new nightclub in Vegas. Surely, even the big strong bodyguard can have a little fun.” Her hand falls to his arm, curling around his bicep as she stands on the tips of her toes to whisper in his ear, “Besides, your boss is pretty preoccupied right now, so I doubt she’ll mind.”
“Sharon-”
“Oh, excuse me.”
The voice is one he could recognize anywhere, and as he and Sharon turn towards the sound, his eyes widen when he finds Natasha standing there, appraising them both.
“Pardon the interruption,” she says, shooting them both the most saccharine of smiles. “I’ll find another bathroom.”
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The techno beat pulses throughout the room, but Natasha doesn’t hear it through the sound of her own heart beating in her ears. She doesn’t really have a destination in mind as she pushes through the crowd of sweaty bodies, but what she does know is that she has to keep walking, to put as much distance between herself and the scene she just walked in on.
In all honesty, she doesn’t even know why she got up from her seat to begin with. First it was because the drinks that were being passed around the room were all too sweet and brightly colored for her liking. But as she rose from the couch to make her way to the bar, the sight of Sam standing in the spot a few feet away from her that Steve had previously occupied, stopped her in her tracks.
The irony wasn’t lost on her that in a room packed with people, somehow, she was the one fretting for her bodyguard. Absurd as the notion was, though, she decided to go searching on her own anyway – going as far as to let Sam know that he need not follow her when she saw him begin to move when she did. Unease flickered across Sam’s face at her request, but with one sweet smile and a promise to be back soon, he had let her go, no doubt radioing the rest of their team. Her eyes scanned the expanse of the room, searching the sea of bodies all but plastered together as they moved to the beat. Even the massive counter at the bar was filled with patrons, each of them watching as the bartenders put on a show as they poured their drinks. There was a part of her that knew that the sight should make her happy. Without a doubt, the Red Room’s opening was a success, and yet, all she could focus on was how none of these people around her were Steve.
At some point, she had wound up towards the back of the room, a wave of relief washing over her almost instantly when she passed the hall leading to the restrooms to see Steve’s familiar frame. Only the feeling was fleeting, dissipating almost instantly when she saw Sharon so close to him, whispering in his ear. She hadn’t meant to disrupt their moment, but the words had tumbled out of her mouth before she could bite them back, and it’s only by reflex that she managed to plaster on a smile for them both before excusing herself.
As she works to get away from them now, she supposes she shouldn’t be so surprised to have witnessed Steve and Sharon together. After all, Sharon had given her a heads up, and while she hadn’t even noticed her friend leave the little alcove they’d formed back at the couch, if there’s anything she knows about Sharon Carter, it’s that her determination is nothing but staunch. What she hadn’t anticipated, however, was just how much the sight of someone else’s hands on Steve was going to sting – hurting her more than she could have ever imagined.
She’s aware that it’s that very hurt that’s driving her to stop in front of a server now, but she doesn’t care. When her heart feels as though it’s just been ripped out of her chest, if she’s to survive the rest of the night, she needs to numb the feeling away. With that, she grabs a shot glass off the tray, bringing it to her lips and knocking back the contents in a single gulp. It’s only after the alcohol burns a stripe down her throat, momentarily blocking out the images playing in her head that she finds it in her to cross the room, making it back to where Loki and everyone else are still chatting animatedly.
She stalks up to where Matt is still seated, bending down to huskily whisper in his ear, “Dance with me.”
Matt turns her way, a smile breaking out on his lips as he rises from his seat and takes her hand. From the corner of her eye, she catches the brow Loki arches her way, but she ignores her friend as she allows Matt to guide her towards the dance floor. They settle at the center, and as Matt’s hands find their way to her waist, pulling her back flush to his chest, she begins to sway her hips to the beat.
If the music has lyrics, she doesn’t catch them. But it doesn’t matter. This is the type of music that’s meant to be felt, and it’s with that that she surrenders to the rhythm, raising her arm up to wrap it around Matt’s neck, holding him to her. Underneath the neon red lights that illuminate the dance floor, she allows herself to do everything one’s supposed to do at a nightclub. Bump. Gyrate. Hint at what lies ahead once the night ends. She and Matt grind together, and she can’t help but close her eyes when she feels his hold on her only tighten.
“Imagine what Principal Coulson would say if he saw us now,” Matt whispers in her ear, and she feels him smile against her skin as he nuzzles her neck.
“Probably the same thing he said when he caught us by the fountain,” she muses, her lips curling up into a smirk as she leans further into him and turns to catch his gaze as she adds, “That we’re bound to get arrested for indecency one day.”
Matt chuckles. “Far be it for us not to live up to his expectations.”
Before she can respond, Matt turns her, parking his hands firmly at her waist as he smiles down at her. And then he’s leaning down, but just as his face is mere inches away from hers, her hands suddenly come up, landing on his chest and pushing him away. “I’m sorry, Matt,” she says, her eyes wide. “I can’t do this.”
Confusion colors Matt’s expression as she turns away, and vaguely, she hears him call out to her over the music, but she doesn’t dare look back. Instead, she hastens her steps, the air suddenly too thick around her. It’s as though the presence of the crowd is all too much, and she knows she has to get out. Her eyes search for the glowing sign of the nearest exit, and she’s glad when she finds one close by. She turns the corner, stepping into the hall, only to gasp when she feels a hand on her waist, gripping her firmly and pulling her into a darkened room.
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“Did he kiss you?” The question slips out angrier than Steve had intended it to, but with how incandescent he feels, he can’t quite seem to bring himself to care as he backs Natasha up against the door of the storage room, caging her in as he rests his hands on either side of her.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Natasha spits out, her nostrils flaring even as she makes no move to get away. The room is dark, lit only by the light peering in from the hall through the space between the blinds and casting a red tint on the small space. Nevertheless, he sees the ire in her stare as she glares at him. “You’re lucky I didn’t take a swing at you!”
He ignores her remark, gritting his teeth. “Did. He. Kiss. You.”
“What’s it to you?” she says, tipping her chin up in challenge.
Guilt washes over him almost instantly, the fight he had in him suddenly extinguished by her question. Despite the blinding envy rushing through him right now, he knows he has no right to demand answers from her, much less about this. He sighs, his expression softening. “Natasha-”
“Why are you acting like this?” she cuts in.
“How am I acting?”
“Like a jealous ass!” she says, unable to keep her frustration at bay any longer. He looks away, ashamed of how easily she had seen through him. “You’re the one that said we couldn’t be together, remember? That there are too many risks.” When he finally finds the wherewithal to meet her gaze again, he finds himself taken aback to see her expression brimming with mutual guilt. “And I’ve been trying to respect that. But ever since that night, all we’ve been doing is stealing moments where we can, and I go along with it, because you know what? I’d rather have a piece of you than none at all.” Her bottom lip begins to quiver, but she sinks her teeth right into it. “But then out of nowhere, you just push me away-”
“I pushed you away because I couldn’t stand to see you with him!” he finally admits, watching as her eyes widen in surprise. “I watch him with you, watch the way he touches you” – he grits out the last word, his eyes falling shut as the images of her dancing with Matt only moments ago replay in his head like a special kind of torment made just for him – “I see it and it makes me feral because I don’t want anyone else’s hands on you but mine!”
“So what, if you can’t have me, no one can?” she challenges hotly, her brow rising. “You don’t own me, and you definitely don’t get to act like you do just because you want to fuck me!”
“That’s not what I said!”
“Isn’t it, though?” she says. “You can’t tell me that the idea of me with someone else all but sickens you when not half an hour ago, you and Sharon-”
“Sharon? Natasha, nothing happened with her.”
“I saw it,” she says, a scowl forming on her forehead. “I saw her all over you.”
“And if you hadn’t run off, you would have seen me tell her that I wasn’t interested!” he exclaims before scoffing. “God, Natasha, how could I possibly be even remotely interested in someone else when you’ve been on my mind every second of every goddamn day since I met you?” Her lips part at the revelation, and as he looks her right in the eyes, his voice softens. “You’re so far under my skin that I find myself rationalizing all the ways to bend my rules for you, and that scares the shit out of me! Because the rules? They keep me from slipping. And I can’t slip, not with you.” He sighs. “You asked me that night what it’d do to me if something happened to you,” he reminds her. “It’d kill me, Nat. That’s what it’d do. But maybe that doesn’t even matter because resisting you? That might just kill me first.”
“Then stop!” she says, her words almost a plea. She brings her hands up, cupping his face between her hands, and it takes all of him not to melt right into her touch. “Stop resisting me, Steve.” She runs her thumb over his jaw. “You said we couldn’t be together because you’re scared I’ll get hurt, but the only thing hurting me right now is not being with you.”
He shakes his head. “Nat-”
“I miss you,” she says, pulling him closer. “I ache for you. So much.”
“Baby…” His eyes fall shut as he leans his forehead against hers. It’s as though the wind’s been knocked right out of him, taking with it the last vestiges of his will. He knows he should walk away right now, but all he can seem to focus on is how much he’s been aching for her, too. “Fuck,” he mutters, and then he’s leaning down to slant his lips over hers, letting his desire for her consume him whole. He kisses her as though he’s claiming her – allowing himself to pretend, if only for this moment, that she’s his instead of someone he covets – and he can’t help but groan at the intoxicating taste that’s a mix of her cherry lip gloss, tequila, and just her.
When he pulls away, he can’t help but smile as her lips chase his. He leans further away, and she whimpers. “Ssh,” he says, giving her a conciliatory peck before maneuvering them back a step so that her back is against the door once more.
“People will wonder where we are,” she breathes out halfheartedly, watching as he raises an arm to slide the lock shut behind her.
“They’ll wonder where you are,” he corrects. “But don’t worry, we’ll be out soon.” A smirk forms on his lips. “I just need to properly apologize first.”
Her eyes darken. “Do you now?”
His only response is to gently turn her, guiding her until she’s facing the door. “Palms on the door, baby,” he whispers, catching the way her skin prickles at his words as she complies. “Let me show you how sorry I am for acting like a jealous ass.”
She laughs at that, but the sound quickly dies when his hands find her waist, and he hears her breath grow shallow as they begin to move upwards. A shiver wracks her entire body when he presses a kiss just where her ear meets her neck, and the second he cups her breasts, palming her through the material of her top, she moans.
“Is this how you’re going to apologize?” she asks, her voice shaky as she leans her forehead against the frame and his lips brush against the nape of her neck.
He chuckles against her skin before trailing open-mouthed kisses down the column of her spine. “No, Nat,” he says, his hands finding the front of her pants and making quick work of undoing them. A whimper falls from her lips when he pulls the material down to her knees, taking her panties along with it. And as he curls his hands around her hips, she goes pliant under his touch, allowing him to tug her back until she’s almost bent at the waist. With her rear in the air, he kneels behind her, pressing a kiss to each of her cheeks.
“Steve,” she sighs out, craning her head as though she can’t resist looking back at him. “Please-”
Her words dissolve into a moan when he presses his thumbs against her, spreading her open, and he barely contains his growl when he sees how slick she already is between her legs. “This is how I’m going to apologize.”
“Oh, God,” she cries out the second he kisses her throbbing center, his touch like a jolt of electricity through her body as it trembles underneath his ministrations. None of his memories of that night or his fantasies over the past few weeks could compare to having her right now, to losing himself in the decadence of her arousal – she tastes of salt and honey and like the woman he’s been desperate to devour again, and he can’t help but groan as he licks a broad stripe up her sex. He lavishes attention on her clit, and he hears her breathing pick up as he swirls and sucks on the bundle of nerves, his name falling from her lips in quiet little pants as she attempts to keep her voice down. She tries to push her hips back, seeking more contact and whimpering in protest when he holds her firmly in place. Her thighs shake, and coupled with the way her walls are fluttering against his tongue, he can tell that she’s close. He quickens his pace, working over her with deep, firm licks until she shatters with a whine. Even so, he doesn’t relent, pulling her even closer to him until another orgasm bursts over her hot on the heels of the first.
It's when her breathing begins to stabilize that he pulls her panties back up, followed by her slacks. She turns as he rises to his feet, quickly wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. Her lips pull up in a dazed smile when they pull away. “I suppose you’re forgiven.”
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he says, dusting another kiss to her forehead. She looks up at him, her eyes so vulnerable that it pulls at his heart. He cups her face in his hand, running a thumb over the apple of her cheek. “What is it, Nat?”
“Come back to my suite with me.”
This time, he doesn’t even think twice before nodding. He can’t, not anymore.
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“Rogers to Comms, come in. I’m with Red. We’re inbound to base. Does anyone copy?”
The response is swift. “This is Wilson, I copy,” he hears Sam say just as Natasha swipes her keycard through the reader and he follows her through the doorway of her suite. “Making my way over.”
“Negative,” he says, closing the door behind him. “I’ll take the night shift.”
Natasha turns to him, the surprise on her face impossible to miss. He’s never done that before, but the implication of his words – of borrowed time for them – sparks something in her eyes that’s akin to hope. In his ear, Sam’s reply comes a beat later. “Copy that. Wilson out.”
He only manages to slip off his earpiece, tucking it into his pants pocket before Natasha closes the distance between them, her mouth hungrily finding his as she presses him against the nearest wall. He pulls her closer, letting out a moan when she nibbles on his bottom lip.
“Want this off,” she says between kisses, her hands balling around the collar of his shirt in emphasis.
A smile finds its way across his lips as he lets go of her, placing his hands up in front of him as if in surrender. Desire flashes brightly in her stare, causing a bolt of heat to tear right through him as she moves her hands down, her fingers quickly working to rid him of his vest and then his shirt. It’s as she pushes his button-up off his shoulders, baring his torso to her, that her eyes rake hungrily over his bare skin. She swipes her tongue over her lips, huffing out a sigh before looking heatedly back up at him. “You’re infuriatingly beautiful, you know that, right?”
“Look who’s talking,” he says with a scoff.
As she brings her eyes back to his chest, he catches the way her hands twitch, her fingers curling into her palms as though it’s taking a great deal of effort to keep them at her sides. “I-” she begins, only to shake her head. “Need you in my bed. Now.”
He pushes off the wall, letting her lead him past the living space of her suite and through the archway of the bedroom. A devious smirk paints its way across her lips the second they’re inside, and she plants a hand on the bare skin of his belly, pushing gently and walking him backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed.
“Sit,” she commands, and even in the darkness of the room, he catches the way her green eyes have all but gone black as he sinks down on the mattress. She struts over to him, the tops of her breasts brushing over his face as she leans in, and like a reflex, he reaches to pull her closer, only for her to step back.
“Nat,” he says, the need to touch her growing only all too consuming.
She wags a finger at him, and as he ticks a brow up at her, he watches in intrigue as she reaches for his belt, undoing the buckle and pulling it out from the loops. She runs her hands through the leather, pulling it taut as if to test its strength. He chuckles quietly. “Didn’t take you for the flogging type.”
“I’m not,” she says, moving to place one knee on either side of him as she sits across his lap. “But never say never.”
She reaches her arms around him, tugging his hands on the mattress, and it’s as she adjusts them behind his back, securing his belt around his wrists, that his lips quirk up. “I thought you liked it when I took control?”
“Oh, I do,” she says, moving off of him again. She takes a step back as she brings a hand to the back of her head, feeling for the pin of her updo. She pulls it loose, and as her hair cascades down her shoulders, she smiles. “But maybe I like it when you lose control for me, too.”
His breath catches in his throat, and he watches as she slides her hands down the front of her blazer, stopping right at the hem. Her fingers find the hook and eye closure, and she makes a show of slowly unclasping it. She undoes one, and then another, working her way upwards until the fabric falls open and sashays down her body, landing behind her with a soft thud and baring her creamy skin to him. From where he’s sitting, he revels in the ravenous look that fills her eyes, feeling himself tenting even more uncomfortably against his pants as he takes in the flat of her belly and the perfect teardrops of her breasts, her rosy nipples tipping upwards as they pebble in the cool air of the room.
She holds his gaze as she moves on to her slacks, unbuttoning it before sliding the zipper down. With a coquettish tilt of her head, she turns around, and then she’s hooking her thumbs into the waistband and causing a groan to rip from the back of his throat as she bends to slip it down her legs along with her panties. He can see the evidence of her arousal shimmering between her thighs, and whether that’s from what he’d done to her up in the Red Room or simply from the show she’s putting on for him now, he doesn’t know. Nor can he bring himself to care as his mouth waters.
She’s about to step out of her heels when she pauses, stealing a glance back at him. “Oh, I almost forgot,” she says, smirking. “You like when I keep these on, don’t you?”
“I do,” he tries to reply coolly, but his voice betrays him. She saunters back to him, her hips swaying with her every step before she moves to straddle him. As she does, he feels the warmth of her sex against him, and with a growl, he strains against his belt. “Natasha.”
“You said you weren’t going to touch me again,” she coos, desire crackling hotly in her eyes even as her mouth forms into a petulant pout. Her hands find his shoulders, and she dusts a kiss to his jaw. “Luckily, I didn’t make the same promise when it comes to you.”
“I think we both know I didn’t make good on that.”
“Maybe not, but you did make me wait,” she counters, flattening her palms against his chest. “God, Steve, do you have any idea how much I’ve been needing this?” She shakes her head, leaning in closer. “Ever since that night, I’ve been dying to feel you again…” Her lips begin to follow the trail of her hands, staining his skin with the remnants of her gloss as they graze each of his pecs and then every plane of his sculpted abs. “To touch every inch of you.” Her hands slide even lower, brushing past the light patch of hair below his navel, and he lets out a grunt when she cups the outline of his erection through his pants. “I mean, it’s only fair, isn’t it?” she muses, looking up at him from underneath the fan of her lashes as she undoes the button, “seeing as there isn’t a part of me you haven’t touched.”
A grunt – loud and feral – slips from his lips. “Nat,” he says, her name sounding both like a warning and a plea all at once. But then she slides a hand past the waistband of his boxers, and he throws his head back. “Fuck, fuck.”
“You know, I tried,” she says as she curls her fingers around the base of him, causing his hips to arch off the mattress as she squeezes. With her other hand, she hooks his chin between her thumb and forefinger, pulling his head back so she can slant her lips over his. “I tried to be… good.” She begins to stroke him, his breath picking up with every languid slide of her hand up and down his length. “I tried to play by your rules. Keep you out of my mind.” She pulls away from him, sighing. “But I remember everything.”
“What… what do you remember?” he manages to sputter out between heavy breaths.
“I remember how you touched me,” she purrs, making him hiss as her thumb runs over the head of him, gathering the wetness that’s formed before shuttling her hand back down. “I remember how you felt inside of me…” His entire body grows rigid at wantonness that fills her tone as she says that, and another curse falls unbidden from his lips. “The way you filled me and stretched me… ruining me for everyone else.”
“Jesus, Nat,” he swears, feeling the sweat beginning to form on his brow as he pants. “I-”
She cuts him off with another bruising kiss. “I remember what you taste like, too,” she says, making him whimper. “I want to taste you again.” She cups his cheek with her other hand, tracing his bottom lip. “Do you want that, baby?”
“Yes,” he says, not caring one bit that he’s begging now. “God, yes. Please, Nat. Please.”
With a final kiss to his lips, she lets him go, sinking down to her knees right between the spread of his legs. She makes quick work of pulling his pants and boxers down his knees, her tongue coming out to wet her lips as his length, thick and flushed, springs free.
“Oh, fuck,” he cries out the second she wraps her lips tightly around him. When he strains against the belt again, she digs her nails into the skin of his thighs, imploring him to stay still. She looks up at him, and the unabashed lust in her eyes as her mouth moves fastidiously over his shaft is without a doubt the biggest turn-on of his life, sending a fresh wave of desire right through him. His lips lift in a dazed, intoxicated smile. “So fucking gorgeous.”
His words only spurn her on. She pushes at his knees, and he parts them wider, surrendering to her and the delicious pleasure building at the base of his spine as she takes him deeper. But then she lets a hand roam lower, and he cries out, her name falling brokenly from his lips once again when she cups his sack, gently kneading it in her grasp.
It’s when she hallows her cheeks, sucking him harder, that he feels his quads begin to tighten, the beginning embers of his impending orgasm already sparking. And while he’s spent many a night wondering what it would be like to have her mouth on him like this, there’s something he wants more right now.
“Nat, sweetheart.” The weariness laced with the desperation in his tone causes her to ease off of him, and when she shoots him a worried look, he shakes his head. “Please, just- Need to be inside of you.” In a second, she’s rising to her feet, and despite the desire roaring in his veins as she pulls his boxers and pants the rest of the way down, he finds the wherewithal to call out to her again, nodding towards his pants. “Wallet.”
Her teeth bother her bottom lip for the briefest of moments before she cups his face. “I’m covered,” she heaves out. “And I’ve been tested.”
“So have I,” he says, eyes finding hers. “There’s no one else but you, Nat.”
She groans at that, the look in her eyes rapacious. “Then I want you bare,” she says as she makes a move to straddle him again.
“Wait,” he says, managing a lazy smile when she whines his name in protest. “Turn around.”
For a second, she stares at him, uncertain. But her confusion fades quickly, and he catches the way her skin prickles with gooseflesh, her breath hitching with excitement as his request dawns on her. She swivels around, her back to him, and when she positions herself over him, he swears he feels his blood run thick when she reaches for his length and rubs the head of him over her folds. She leans back as they both moan, taunting him as her scarlet tresses fan across his chest. He wants to grip her hair firmly in his hands, tug her back, and kiss her neck. He knows she knows it – and that she wants it just as much, too.
“So wet,” Steve all but growls into the skin of her shoulder as she continues to tease him. “Is this all for me, Nat?”
“Only for you,” she says, letting out a mewl when she finally sinks down on him. He moans loudly, feeling as though flames are licking across his skin as she takes him in, inch by inch. Behind him, his hands clench into fists in an effort to keep himself grounded. He’s been longing to feel her again for weeks, and now that he’s enveloped in her warmth, not a single barrier separating them, he feels as though he’s slowly being driven mad with desire. It’s only by sheer will that he resists the urge to buck up into her, allowing her to control how much of him to take. She whimpers his name when he finally bottoms out, one hand shooting up to wrap around his neck, holding him to her. “It’s so deep this way.”
“It’s perfect,” he says, kissing her neck, her cheek – any part of her that he can reach. “You’re perfect.”
He feels her shiver against him, and they both gasp as she begins to move her hips. Everything from the way her walls grip him to how his name falls from her lips as though it’s a benediction feels like nothing short of a fever dream. But it’s real. He can feel it, real and raw and oh so right as she rides him, and he savors each rise and fall of her body over his length.
“Tell me again,” she says, leaning back against his shoulder and pulling his head to the side. “Tell me there’s no one else.”
“There’s no one else,” he promises, and she looks so beautiful like this, with her cheeks flushed and her eyes wild that he can’t help but kiss her. “I want you, Nat. Just you.”
The needy moan she lets out against the lock of their lips causes a tremor to roll over him. He wants so badly to touch her, to grab her hips tightly, to feel the weight of her breasts in his hands. But he knows her, knows that for as much as she loves bequeathing control to him that sometimes, she needs to be able to lead, too. So he lets her, electing instead to bask in the view of her gorgeous figure moving up and down on him, her hands trailing up her own body, rolling a nipple between her fingers as she chases her own pleasure.
Soon enough, her hips are moving faster against him. Even so, she whines in discontent. She’s close, he can feel it in the way her walls clench around him and by how much louder her moans are growing, but he knows this isn’t enough.
“Untie me, baby,” he says. “Untie me so I can fuck you the way you need me to.”
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She barely has time to react.
The second she frees him from his restraints, he springs up, wrapping his arms around her and maneuvering them until her back is on the mattress. He hikes her legs up on his shoulders, holding her down with his body. “This won’t last long.”
Her lips part to agree, to tell him how close she is already, but the words diffuse into a moan when his arms find her thighs, holding her in place as he enters her in one deliriously delicious thrust. She’s exquisitely pinned in this position, unable to do anything but wrap her arms around him, her nails scratching down his back as he pulls out nearly all the way before snapping his hips forward, burying himself deep into her. The pace he sets toes the line between pain and pleasure, but she welcomes it, luxuriating in being able to feel him in every part of her body, right down to her bones, as he drives into her hard, fast, and rough. Come tomorrow, she knows she’ll have bruises where he’s holding her, but she couldn't care less, only growing wetter at the idea of having some semblance of a keepsake to remember this moment by once it’s over.
“Steve,” she calls out at a particularly delectable push of his hips. He kisses her so hard and deep and consuming that she has to pull away, her lungs burning for air. “Oh, just like that.”
“Close, baby,” he warns, and she feels the way his thrusts grow erratic above her.
“Me too,” she whimpers as he reaches between them, down to where they’re joined. His hand brushes against her bundle of nerves, and she shrieks as he continues to drive into her, taking her body and claiming it with the hard and rough fucking that she’s been craving for weeks. She can see in the way his forehead is creased, a bead of sweat dripping from his temple, that he’s holding on for her – denying himself for her – and though she didn’t think it’s possible to want him any more than she already does, with every fiber of her being, she does. His thumb begins to rub tight circles around her clit, and as white spots start to flicker across her vision, she reaches for him. “Come on me,” she breathes out, pulling his face so close to hers that she can feel his breath across her skin. “Want to feel you all over me.”
She hears him groan just as the heat pooling low in her belly unfurls, causing her eyes to fall shut. Her stomach tightens, and as her orgasm bursts over her, curling her toes, everything around her blurs, save for the sensation of white-hot pleasure pulsing throughout her every cell.
Her body is still trembling when she feels Steve suddenly pull out of her, and as she forces her eyes open, she finds him kneeling between her legs, the muscles of his forearm flexing as his hand furiously strokes his length. Then he grits out her name, his hips bucking, and she gasps when she feels the warmth of his release against her belly, making the blood thrum in her veins all over again despite how boneless she already feels.
Steve collapses down next to her, and when she turns her head to him, her pride swells just a little at how thoroughly wrecked he looks. He peels an eye open once he gets his breathing in some order, reaching out to touch her face. “Are you okay?”
“Mm…” She doesn’t look away from him as she trails one hand down her stomach, rubbing her fingers across the warmth still strewn on her skin before bringing it up to her mouth. A curse falls from his lips, and she smiles as she licks her fingers clean. “Never better.”
It's later on when they’ve managed to clean up and make it under the sheets that he pulls her to him. Below them, Sin City is still alive and buzzing, the glow from the Strip casting her room in a neon hue. She rests her head on his chest, and as his hand begins to run up and down her arm absentmindedly, she revels in the quiet and the comfort of being wrapped up in his warmth.
“Do you think this’ll ever fade?” she asks, looking up at him.
“Wanting you this way?” he clarifies, to which she nods. “I don’t see how.”
“Then what are we going to do?”
He stares up at the ceiling, silent. Eventually, he sighs. “I don’t know.”
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Earlier that night…
“Your Old Fashioned, Mr. Laufeyson.”
“Thank you, Brad,” Loki says, leaning back into his seat on the balcony as the server leaves and he takes a sip of his cocktail. Before him, the sea of bodies is still grinding to the beat, showing zero signs of slowing down any time soon. It’s nearly midnight already, and he can’t help but smile into his drink. In the morning, the success of this opening will be strewn across the publications, and it’s with glee that he’ll clip every single headline into his next presentation for the quarterly Odinson Holdings earnings call. How’s that for a measly subsidiary.
His reverie is broken by the feel of a weight on his shoulder, and he looks up to see Natasha. “I was wondering where you went.”
“Had to get some air,” she says over the pulsing music, and from the corner of his eye, he sees Steve lingering a few steps away.
“Everything all right, darling?”
“Everything’s fine,” she says. As he studies her appearance, he notes the way the color on her lips has begun to fade, and while her hair isn’t a mess, the slicked back updo she’s had on certainly isn’t as pristine as when she first arrived. Even so, he says nothing of it as she shrugs. “I might have had a little too much to drink tonight, though. Do you mind if I take off?”
“Not at all,” he says, setting his drink down on the table before rising from his seat to wrap his arms tightly around her. “This night is a certified success. Congratulations.”
“Couldn’t have done it without you,” she says, squeezing him back just as tight.
“Oh, you could have,” he says. “You just wouldn’t have had as much fun.” He punctuates his words with a smile, making her giggle before he turns to Steve. “You’ll make sure she gets back to her suite?”
Steve nods. “Of course.”
He bids Natasha goodbye with a kiss on her cheek, and as she and Steve make their way down the stairs of the balcony and onto the main floor of the club, he picks up his drink again before walking towards the railing, looking out into the vast expanse of the room. He watches as they both make their way towards the exit, Steve slightly in front of Natasha as he guides her through the throng of people.
“You know something.”
The statement prompts him to glance to his left to see that Sylvie’s joined him, her hands curled around the railing as she, too, watches Steve and Natasha leave. He doesn’t respond, electing instead to take another sip of his drink as he looks back out onto the floor.
“This little class reunion of yours… it isn’t the happenstance she thinks it is, is it?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he says, merely earning a snort from Sylvie.
“You’re not going to tell her that you know?” she asks, a touch of amusement in her tone. “It’s unlike you two to keep secrets from each other.”
He lifts one shoulder in a shrug, a smirk crossing his lips. “She’ll tell me when she’s ready.”
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sassaspazz · 4 years
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Ugh i really wish that James Rogers existed in the MCU verse. Like imagine Steve coming to the compound whenever he finishes a group session. The moment he opens the door little James runs up to him and Steve just picks him up. They walk over to the kitchen and Steve lovingly looks at Natasha making a plate full of peanut butter sandwiches.
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oceansgirlfriend · 5 years
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If I was in their place I would have introduced Sarah Rogers in the MCU, gave nomad Steve more screen time, explored the SteveSharon dynamic and treated both of them better, made Captain America: The Serpant Society the third movie in the Cap triology instead of that shit show called cIViL WaR and would have gave the fans the SteveSamNat: on the run show like they fucking deserve. Rip to marvel and the Russo Bros but I'm different.
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