#nothing left to give

[jugheadprince]

the good' Ol days.

it hurts when you go through something that destroys you inside but you have to act like it doesn't affect you at all. ☹

#dump #prsnlsht #Rant #nothing left to give #never enough

[bpdcrybaby213]

Is it time to finally give up? Is it time to let the darkness creep over me slowly until I'm consumed? I think it's getting closer. I'll let you know.

#mentally ill #mental illness #chronic mental illness #mental disorder #actually mentally ill #give up #nothing left to give

[laurfilijames]

"I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread." - Bilbo Baggins

I feel at this point I couldn't relate to anything more. 🙈

#is it over yet? #you will likely not be seeing any Deano bingo content from me at this point #i am depleted #nothing left to give

[microwaveexplosion]

#song #music #bailen #nothing left to give #Spotify

[jabba-theslutt]

Man, I'm really going through it, I listened to my writing music and no ideas popped in my head

#where are my scenes #my silly little thoughts #there werent even vibes #I'm like a dried up well #nothing left to give #writers block is a bitch #blah

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[campfire-collective]

feeling kind of like cliff diving ngl

#mine #urgh #implications but i swear i am not doing anything #just #exhausted #nothing left to give

[theuniversalscat]

Happy Valentine’s Day. 💓💓💓😷🤧🗣️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤷‍♀️

#life blogging #love #feel the love #me #love is #love is all around #the giving tree #stump #lmao #shel silverstein #happy valentine's day #valentine’s day #valentine #still sick #nothing left to give

[glitteryfoxsoul]

I know, this is new..

But I have nothing left to say to you

#nothing left to say #nothing left #nothing #I know nothing #nothing left to give #I am sorry #actually bpd #bpd #abuse survivor #bpd things #addiction #depressiv #drugblr #drug abuse #domestic violene poem #drug blog #domesticity #domestic violent relationships #domestic violene helplines #abusive!beck #physical abuse #mental abuse #psychological abuse #emotional abuse #emotional #emotionally drained #hey there #this is new #i know what i said #change things

[goddesspharo]

I am best on my front foot and I think that sometimes feels dickish on screen. [x]

#when there's nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire #is this my roman empire? #this photo shoot is everything #the gift that keeps on giving #glen powell

[treasureplcnet]

bunch of bg3 sketches :)

#real time trainwreck as i booted it up for the first time at jane's place #who had convinced me to romance astarion and then i pulled gale out the stupid rock and he is my everything. #my silly rabbit.... #and tiefling w astarion is in fact jane's tav LOL #some of these are like from when i was just starting i have drawn like nothing else. this has been my life for a month #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #tav #gale dekarios #who is the guy thats featured most here.. #couples who will hyphen their surnames. LOL #not pictured here is frankie (tav)'s little brother . left alone to my own devices i will spiral out of control giving my ocs siblings #i want to do a run with her brother but considering he'd make virtually the same choices i dont think i can dedicate a playthrough LOL #my art

[jugheadprince]

This worrying will be the death of me Obsessive tendencies won't let me sleep But I can't run away, like I do with everything It's crippling, but my demon is me. Suffer through. 091823

#movements #nothing left to give #relapsed #suicidal tendencies #heavy heart #Busy mind #photodump #Feel something

[unproduciblesmackdown]

always enjoyed the Chess Set In The Foreground perspective framing used here

now also noting like, huh, a chess set in a general store just visited by marigold competitors who killed one of their guys and are now on the way back from their rendezvous point w/suppliers

#and now to take a big sip of ''nothing suggests lackadaisy ft. people stuck / things repeating / death begetting death'' #not like i suppose we're going to be hit with ''& then mordecai and viktor sat down at the defiance field office for every passing gangster #played chess and then went and properly slaughtered the lackadaisy crew and arbogasts at the funeral home / barn w/car-sized holes'' #good reminder though that Viktor Is Now Active....left off with elsa managing to give him a phonecall; for good measure #lackadaisy #i have no lengthy Mitzi Mordecai Murder Mystery Musings posts for today (b/c not enough fresh musing insights) but no prommies #epiphanies are on their own schedule #quite the chess piece arrangement seen there too lol. can't tell if there's any Classic Configuration in the game b/w viktor & mordecai #not a chesshead and never was lol strategy games??? who's that #or i'll play them but not strategically. invented Flick Chess for indoor recess in elementary school #you flick a piece across the board and whatever you knock off the board = you took those pieces lmfao #though not like that has Zero strategy. thinking of my day enjoying tiddlywinks research #imagine my delight revisiting all this material like oh yeah the little pic of freckle tiddlywinking #let's squop; boys #i'm also supposing that chess sets? checkers sets? and etc. would be common general store features; like phone usage....real general.... #but like; what; are we expecting this Not to bring a response from marigold lol #got the nervous twitch but they're like ''ah it's fine. cost of doing business''

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Culinary appreciation

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #xiao xingchen #lan jingyi #lan sizhui #jin ling #And the mysterious red and green lads! Gosh I hope nothing bad happens to one of them in 6 days. #ouyang zizhen #nameless red disciple #(Note for latecomers: I did not tag Ouyang Zizhen in any of these comics until I made the red vs green poll. Where only one could live.) #I think a lot about how wwx thought about how he'd want to be friends with xxc #then him 'meeting' xxc and trying to save him. With flamin' hot congee. #It's true that many friendships can be forged via food. I have a hunch this one wont turn out so well #Let's give a good round of applause for xue yang for his outstanding performance. He nailed the role of xxc #specifically the fact that xxc if the kind of guy who gets handed dirt 'milkshakes' and leaf potions that children brew and drinks them #Then says he loves it. #I know we still have a day left on the cooking poll but I wanna just say that I think wwx also cooks like he's making dirt and leaf potions #in the sense he cooks by vibes alone and it does not always turn out well for other people #His little moment of throwing shade at the juniors for not knowing what good food (spice tolerance) lives rent free in my brain #sorry to break your confidence king; the one guys who said he liked it was lying to you because he wants something from you.

[hwiyoungies]

🍂

#svtgifs #svtcreations #svtsource #fywonwoo #seventeen #wonwoo #captionless because i remembered a tag someone left once #that they wished the option to delete original captions was still a thing #and i was like well that's rude you come up with something better #anyways today i have nothing better to give so LMAO captionless #b.edits #or well just emojis caption because it looks empty otherwise

[gods-favorite-autistic]

L+ratio+one step ahead+one step ahead+thats how it’s always been+can’t let you win+I’m still here+after all these years+and I’m better than you again+this is the end

#l+ratio+this is what you made me do #+this is it #+we’re done #+we’re through #+I’ve nothing left or say to you #+so long #+farewell #+auf weidersein #+adieu #+goodbye #spies are forever #saf #they deserve a happy ending someone give it them right now #autism (mads) speaks #curt mega