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#number one tua
super-duper-mart · 2 months
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rewatching the umbrella academy rn n im on szn 3 epi 9 n oh my god luther deserves so much better im actually sobbing i love him sm
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atealiers · 2 years
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LUTHER AND FIVE in s1e3 “Extra Ordinary”
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7-umbrella-hats · 2 years
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WAS LUTHER TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ANOTHER ONE OF HIS SISTERS
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beif0ngs · 2 years
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- Okay, out with it. What’s with your family’s weird brother Ben fetish? - He... You... were the best of us, and you died too soon. Just know that we were never the same without you. So, I’ll take every second of whatever version of you we’ve got.
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maarigolds · 2 years
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Diversity wins! Your big/little bro supports you in your transition but still doesn't think you should be number one
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the-krakens-bitch · 2 years
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I know for the fact that the Umbrella academy kids are idiots, not just Olga for öga or saying lobsters are disappearing before telling the others it was people disappearing too. It for thinking that nothing would have changed if Reginald didn’t adopt them
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c0ffeeb1ack · 4 months
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five should've had a cat. i know i know mr. pennycrumb blah blah blah but imagine him finding a stray in the apocalypse and digging it out from the rubble bc he thought it was a human survivor or something, and then he's like goddammit just a cat :/ but the cat starts following him around regardless of how many times he tries to shoo it off and chews on delores's shirt buttons and gets into his canned tuna and is generally super obnoxious in typical cat fashion. but then on one of those endless cold lonely nights the cat creeps up to him where he's sitting slumped against the ruins of his favorite library and he doesn't have the heart to scare it off this time, and it climbs into his lap and starts to purr.
anyway this post was sponsored by the cat person gang
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badkitty3000 · 2 months
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Weak
Even Five Hargreeves is no stranger to temptation. He tries so hard to stay away. He wants to do the right thing for once in his life. If not for himself, then for her. But every man has his breaking point.
Five Hargreeves x Reader Smut
This one shot is an accompaniment to my other work "Addicted". This can be read on its own, but is a different side of the story, as told from Five's point of view.
As always, I am open to requests. Thank you!
My Master List Of Number Five Fanfiction
Weak:
I never meant to take it this far. I never meant to be cruel. That’s not who I am, or at least I didn’t think I was. I also thought I was strong and had will power. But I guess I was wrong about that, too. Because as much as I try to stay away, I don’t.
I know who I am and what I’m made of. The terrible things I’ve done. That’s not a secret and I’ve never lied to myself about that. My morals can’t even be called a gray area anymore; they’re more like an indistinct blur. But in this one tiny part of my soul, I was trying to be better. For her, at least.
I have failed miserably.
She knows what I am. When things got too comfortable and too familiar, I told her as a way to push her away and to scare her. It didn’t work, though. In fact, it had the opposite effect. She fucking loved it…and I didn’t know how to say no to that.
How could I say no when she was tearing at my clothes, practically panting with desire, and shoving her hand down my pants? All over a bloody stain on a shirt collar and the feel of my Glock against her skin. I’m sure there’s a way to resist that, but fuck if I know what it is. I’m not smart enough or strong enough to figure that one out.
I don’t particularly like all of the killing. But I’m pretty fucking good at it and someone has to do it, I suppose. I certainly never considered it sexy in any way. Then, after that first time, when she begged me to tell her all of the gruesome details, and I watched her skin start to flush and her pupils dilate…well, fuck, that put a new spin on everything.
I still don’t like it, that part hasn’t changed. I get no pleasure from pulling that trigger and watching their skull break open like a fucking pinata, spraying the contents of their brains all over the floor like the world’s worst party game. Now, however, there is a sick little spark that will ignite in me after it’s done. Because I know how it will turn her on.
And, fuck, I am weak.
That’s what this all boils down to. Weakness. For most people that meet me or know me in any way, weak is probably the last word they would use to describe me. Cold; bitter; sarcastic; asshole. Those adjectives are much more likely to be used. But weak? Doubtful.
I know the truth, though. Deep down, that is what I am. Because when you continue to break someone’s heart time and time again, just because you can’t control your own basic urges…that’s weakness. Pure and simple.
She has told me how much I’ve hurt her, and how much I am ruining her life. She has screamed and cried and told me all of the things I know I deserve to hear. She has called me an asshole more times than I can remember, and I have never disputed it. So, I stay away, like I know I should. Until she inevitably calls again. And I slip right back into it without another thought. Like the absolute fucking bastard that I am.
Weak.
Because even though I know it’s wrong and I’m slowly poisoning her with my selfishness, each time I think maybe it will be different. Maybe this time will be the time when I stay. When I will finally be the person I should be and really want to be.
All the way up until the early morning, I will convince myself that this is it. I’ve finally seen the light and I can be the man she deserves; it will be so easy. Because when it’s just the two of us, in our own little cocoon, hidden away from the outside world, the idea is magical. I would give anything to stay there, tucked away, fucking like animals until we’re both too exhausted to talk anymore. I want to stay there and listen to her voice, and her laugh, and feel her hands on my touch-starved body. And I think, yes, this is it. This is what I want.
Then morning comes and the spell is broken.
Once that first peek of dawn starts to light up the sky, all of my anxieties come rushing back, and I remember why I can’t stay. Morning brings back the real world, and with it all of its problems.
I will freeze up, practically paralyzed with fear, as she sleeps next to me, an arm draped over my chest. I will remember what kind of person I really am, and how that just doesn’t translate to boyfriend material. And it’s not just the little fact that I am a hired assassin, although that does put a slight snag in any future meetings with parents and the like.
It’s the mixing bowl of fucked up thoughts and feelings and history that lives inside my brain. Guilt. Regret. Sadness. Rage. Take your pick, none of them are great. And I can mask them for a night or two, while I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. But they will come back again, and that’s just not something anyone needs. Especially someone you care about.
So, I do the worst, shittiest thing in the world, and leave while she’s asleep. No kiss goodbye. No note. Not even a quick morning fuck. I grab my shit and leave in a flash of blue light, like the weak coward I am. Can’t even bother to use the god damn door.
I will stay away after that. At least for a while. I will ignore the incoming texts and voice mails that sometimes will follow, and sometimes don’t. I’ll pretend I don’t care about the lectures and pleas and rightly-deserved insults. But I do care. And that’s why I won’t answer.
A month might go past, maybe more. Just enough time for me to start thinking she really is done with me. Then the call will come through, late at night, and I won’t ignore it. Because, as we’ve determined…I am weak.
She is the only one, although I’ve never told her that and I bet she thinks she’s not. I’m not interested in anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. And when she stops calling for good, which one day I know will happen, that will be it. It’s either her or nobody. And it’s barely even her.
Our paths almost never cross outside of our little midnight meetings. After that first night when all of this started, I’ve never seen her anywhere else besides her apartment. I assume it’s because the types of bars and clubs I frequent are not anywhere a normal, sane person would want to spend their free evenings. But tonight, as fate would have it, I do see her. After I grab my drink off the cracked and peeling bar top and turn to look at the room behind me, I see her. And she’s not alone.
With my glass half way to my mouth, our eyes meet, and for a second neither of us move. It’s not a big place, so we aren’t that far away from one another. But it’s loud and crowded, and the guy is leaning in close to her ear, talking loudly to be heard over the constant bass thumping through the shitty speakers on the walls. Who the fuck is this guy?
It’s not fair, I know that. Believe me, I know that. And I try to give myself a stern talking-to inside my head. She is not yours. Not even remotely. You are an asshole and she deserves better. Leave her the fuck alone.
I take a drink. And then I see his hand disappear under the table, and I can see everything from where I’m standing. He’s squeezing her thigh, leaving his hand there to rest on her leg, rubbing his thumb across the bare skin that isn’t covered by her short skirt. A skirt I know I’ve had my face under before.
Fuck. I hate this guy.
In the thirty seconds that it takes for all of this to happen, she is watching me. Reading me. A faint smile plays on her lips and I know I’m caught. My thoughts must be written all over my face like a fucking billboard, and it’s too late to pretend I haven’t seen or that I don’t care. She’s got me.
If I were stronger, or a better person, I would leave. Pay my tab, collect my coat, and get the fuck out of there without another glance in her direction. Leave her be. Let her live her fucking life. But I am not. And I’m pissed.
My first instinct is to reach behind me, grab the Glock that’s hidden in the waistband of my pants and covered up by my suit jacket, and take care of this asshole right then and there. That would probably be the nicer thing to do, honestly. Then she’d finally see what a fucking psycho I am and that would end things once and for all. But I’m also not that stupid. Or that nice.
Instead, I stay and watch. I let her see me watching, too. I lean with my back against the bar, casually sipping my drink, and my eyes never leave her. I want her to know, even if it makes me more of a giant dick than I already am. I want her to know I am not pleased.
I have no idea who this guy is, and I don’t care. Maybe it’s their first date; maybe it’s their tenth. It doesn’t matter, I want him dead. And now that she knows that, because it’s pretty fucking obvious by the way I’m coiled like a cobra ready to strike right now, it’s quickly become a game. If she had feelings for him before, that seems to have been forgotten now. Because everything she is doing is for me.
Her eyes leave mine and she returns to what I can only imagine is a very dull conversation with the Neanderthal sitting next to her. She smiles and laughs, and moves her leg closer to his so that they are touching. She reaches up and fixes his hair, tucking a stray piece of it over his ear. She rests her chin on her hand and stares at him like he’s the most interesting person she’s ever encountered. And he’s eating this shit up; kicking his game up a notch with even more inane talk and rubbing her thigh up and down with his whole hand. He thinks she’s into him. Fucking dumbass.
That’s the only thing keeping me slightly calm at the moment. Knowing it’s all a play. She is a really good actress, I’ll give her that, but I’ve paid more attention to her than she realizes. I know her tells. I know the difference between her fake laugh and her real one. I can tell when she’s actively engaged in the conversation or she is just waiting for you to shut up. I know how she touches her face when she’s nervous and I know what she looks like when she wants to fuck you.
And, buddy…I got bad news for you.
The corner of my mouth lifts in an arrogant smirk as I take another drink. I shouldn’t be proud of this; I should be appalled. How dare I think I have any right to any of her little traits and quirks? I haven’t earned that. That kind of thing is reserved for boyfriends and husbands and people that can stand to stick around for more than a few hours.
When she runs her tongue over her lips in an obvious gesture meant only for me, I actually laugh out loud. Fuck, she knows what she’s doing. And it’s one hundred percent working.
As I order my second drink, feeling the calming buzz of the booze fill my brain, I start to care less and less. I don’t care if this is not fair. I don’t care that I’m being a complete and utter shit head. I don’t care if I’m weak. I’ll deal with all of that later.
I take out my phone and type out a quick text.
Enjoying yourself?
I watch as she glances to her phone on the table as it lights up. She picks it up, angling it away from Caveman Cliff, and reads it. It’s subtle, but I saw it. A brief twitch of her mouth and a quick flit of her eyes in my direction. I see her type out a quick reply and then she is back to him, completely enrapt in his droning.
Immensely, thank you
Not able to resist, I counter with:
Even I can tell from way over here that your panties are as dry as the desert
She holds in a smile as she responds back.
Too bad you’re not going to find out
Honey, if that pussy of yours is even slightly wet, it’s only because you’re thinking of me bending you over that table you’re sitting at right now
I see her legs shift and she crosses one over the other, squeezing them together as a faint blush covers her cheeks.
And why would I be thinking that?
Because that dipshit you’re with isn’t going to give you what I know you want
I watch as she swallows and then glances at the idiot to her left that is oblivious to all of this, the poor bastard. Her response is short.
Fuck you
She puts her phone away to end this exchange, but I see the small smile she is trying to hide and the way she touches her hand to her face. I can see her chest expand as she sucks in a deep breath, biting at the inside of her cheek.
I give a short snort of satisfaction and put my phone back in my inside jacket pocket. I got what I wanted. I throw back the rest of my drink, leave a few dollars for a tip, and head for the door without another look in her direction. But I know she saw me leave.
As I wait there in the dark, I think about how awful I’m being; what a shit bag move this is. I’m using her, that’s what it boils down to. Using her for her warmth and her openness, and to temporarily calm my mind. Also, for her body and her touch. She sees something in me that isn’t there; or at least something I can’t see. But I can’t or won’t give her what she needs, and I’m also not letting her move on.
Fuck, I’m an asshole.
I hear their voices coming down the hall, the rattle of keys in her hand. As they near the door, I can hear her made up excuses. She’s tired; she had too much to drink; she has a headache. Maybe next time. She’ll call him tomorrow. Then she slips inside her darkened apartment and the door closes behind her.
I’m on her before she has a chance to turn the light on, pressing her against the door as she drops her keys on the floor. Since I’ve been waiting, the anticipation has already made me fully hard and I push my groin into her while I circle my hand lightly around her neck.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart? No love connection tonight?” I growl next to her ear.
She never even screams or fights back. She knew I would be there. But her hands grab my forearm and I hear her suck in a loud breath.
“I never knew you were the jealous type,” she smarts back.
 “Only when I see someone try to take what’s mine,” I hiss hotly against her neck, drawing my lips and then my tongue across her skin.
“I’m not your fucking property,” she snarls, but I can hear the break in her voice and she swallows hard against my hand.
I laugh cynically. “Well, then I can go and you can let him fuck you instead. Is that what you want?”
There’s a long pause and it’s just our loud breathing in the dark of the room. Then I feel her head move slowly from side to side.
“No,” she whispers.
As I crash my mouth onto hers, my hands in her hair and on her face, and down to her tits, she is reaching for the front of my pants. I had already removed my jacket and belt when I got there, as well as the pistol that I always carry with me. Our little act back at the bar was already enough foreplay and our bodies are screaming for each other.
Our hands can’t work fast enough as she is shoving my pants down my legs and tearing my shirt open while I rip her top off and yank her skirt up. My fingers are already pushing her panties to the side and entering her, sliding right in with no resistance.
I smile proudly against her neck. “I knew you were wet for me.”
As she moans and throws her head back, she is reaching down to stroke my cock, her warm hand tight and firm as she drags it slowly over my shaft.
My hips are already jerking into her and I want to be inside of her so badly I can’t think straight.
“Get these panties off so I can fuck you,” I snarl.
I pull my fingers out, pushing her underwear down roughly and she quickly steps out of them. With one pull of her hips into me, her arms clutching tightly to my shoulders, I lift her up and start fucking her against the door.
I tip my head back and groan loudly as she whines and pulls her legs tighter around my waist.
“Can he make you feel this good?” I ask between clenched teeth as I ram into her harder and the door rattles in its frame.
“No!” she cries out.
“Do you think about him when you’re alone and fingering yourself?”
Her moans are punctuated by the slamming of my body against hers and her fingers press deeper into my skin.
“No,” she breathes out. “No.”
“You think about me, don’t you?” I say with a sneer. When she doesn’t answer fast enough, I ask again, louder. “Don’t you?”
“Yes,” she whimpers pitifully, her nails digging sharply into my shoulder blades.
I can’t believe what I’m saying and what I’m doing. But she’s loving it and so I continue.
“I’m going to fuck you until you forget all about him, and then I’m going to fuck you some more. And if I ever see you with him again, I will kill him.”
“You wanted to kill him, didn’t you?” she asks, and that knowing smile starts to form as she closes her eyes and bites her lip. “When you saw him with me?”
“Fuck yes I did,” I groan loudly into her neck.
She’s almost there, I can tell. So am I, but I’m going to make her finish first. I pick up the pace, thrusting into her as hard as I can, her back and head slamming against the door, my fingers digging deeper into the flesh of her thighs and ass. I’m practically ripping into the side of her neck, latching on with my mouth and teeth, desperate to mark her as my own.
I listen as she repeats my name over and over in gasps and moans and I can’t hold back anymore.
“That’s it, sweetheart. You are all mine.”
She is falling apart in my arms, violently shaking against me as I penetrate her one last time, letting out a loud, guttural moan. I’m as deep inside of her as I can be, and I fill her up with so much cum, I know it will start sliding out; dripping down her legs and onto the floor. Somewhere deep inside, in the primordial part of my brain, I take satisfaction in knowing that it’s my seed, and only mine, that is coating her insides.
Once the last spasm has left my body, I let her down and she falls back against the door, breathing hard. Her bra is still on, but the straps have fallen down, and her skirt is bunched up around her waist. I look at the painful looking purple bruise I left on her neck, which is large enough and obvious enough that she won’t be able to cover it. Her eye makeup is smeared and her lips are swollen and red. She looks completely ravished. And then she starts to cry.
It’s because of me, I know it is. Because of the things I said and the things I did, and the way I needed her so desperately. She had been trying to break away from me and I reeled her back in. And I did it knowingly and deliberately, just to feed my ego and maybe not feel so alone. I could have found anyone for that. But, like the prick I am, I only wanted her.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, my lungs still working hard to get air in and out.
She just nods silently, wiping her face with her hand, and pulls down her skirt. She picks her shirt and underwear off the floor and heads to the bathroom without a word. I’m left standing there with a softening dick and my pants around my ankles.
Fuck.
I could leave now, while she’s in there, and maybe I should. That feels wrong, though. But then again, so does staying. I feel like shit and I’m so full of shame that I want to punch my fist through the wall. Instead, I zip my pants back up and walk over to her couch to wait. I turn on the table lamp and even though it’s dim, it feels blaringly bright and I have to squint my eyes.
When she comes out, she has changed into some soft shorts and a t-shirt. Her face is cleaned up and I assume her thighs and the area between them are too. She is no longer crying, but I can still see the tell-tale signs of red-rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks. I’m surprised when she comes and sits down next to me, laying her head on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I say again, because I can’t think of anything better to say.
“I know. Me too,” she says and she leans her body against mine.
She has nothing to be sorry for and I’m not sure what to do, so I put my arm around her and hug her to me. I kiss her forehead and she closes her eyes. I don’t know why she’s letting me do this, but it feels good and I like it. Just like every other time, I tell myself that maybe this time will be different. I can do this; I can be that person. I don’t want to be that other jealous, callous, hurtful person. I don’t want to be the asshole.
“Just don’t go yet, ok?” she says quietly with her cheek resting against my chest.
I smooth her hair and run my hand down her back. I don’t want to go. She feels good and warm and soft against my tension-filled body. She feels right. I want to tell her all of that, too. I want to say I’m sorry a million times over and beg for her forgiveness. I want to wake up with her next to me every day.
“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” I murmur into her hair as I brush my chin across the top of her head.
“Don’t do that,” she pleads, her voice soft. “Please.”
I decide I’m going to tell her how I really feel. Before the night is over, I’ll come clean. And then I’ll stay. If she’ll still have me.
“You are, though. I mean it.”
She doesn’t respond, but sighs and nestles in, holding me around my waist. Fuck, I have craved this. More than the dirty talk and the biting and the ferocious fucking. I want this. I want her. And I’m going to tell her.
The rest of the night goes by in a blur. It’s there, on the tip of my tongue the whole time. All I have to do is say it. But I don’t.
We fuck again, rough and hard, on the couch and on the floor. I leave more marks on her chest, branding her as my own. I tell her she’s mine, and I make her scream my name again, but I don’t say what I really mean.
We fuck in her bed, while we’re both tired and slightly drunk. I pump lazily into her while she lies underneath me and moans softly. I kiss her lips and tell her how gorgeous she is, and it’s not a lie because she is. I worship her body, running my tongue over every part of it, tasting her skin and her delicious arousal. I can taste my own cum as I lick into her soft folds and inside her pussy that’s been stretched and abused by my cock several times over.
There are so many opportunities and I don’t take any of them. I let her fold her body into mine as I hold her in the dark and I can say it right now. It would be easy and it would be the truth.
I want to be with you.
I want to be yours.
I want you to be mine and mine alone.
I want to stay.
But I am weak, and so I don’t.
She sleeps against me and I listen to her rhythmic breathing while I lie there wide awake. I think about all of the things I should have said. Everything I should have done and should not have done. I hate myself for all of it.
When the sun creeps in, and the faintest light is leaking through the curtains and cutting through the safety of the darkness, it all comes crashing back. I remember why I can’t stay and why those words just wouldn’t come out. The reality of the real world is glaringly obvious in the light of day and I remember all of it.
The real world is filled with everyday things like jobs and homes and bills to pay. Coworkers and families that want to meet you. Graduation and birthday parties. Movie and dinner dates, holidays and vacations. Marriage. Children. Normalcy.
There’s just no way any of that would work. I can’t fit into that life, even though I want to. I think of all of the things holding me back and they keep piling up until they are crushing me and I feel like I can’t breathe.
I am an assassin. A killer. A murderer. I have seen the end of the world and survived the most horrific things. I have PTSD and crippling anxiety. There are nightmares and paranoia and episodes of manic rage. I am old and I am tired. There is nothing left of me and nothing left to give. I am not meant for normalcy.
As I slowly remove her arm from across my chest, she stirs but she doesn’t wake. I take a moment to look at her. Her mind isn’t betraying her with vivid dreams of the world collapsing around her in a fiery blaze or sprays of bullets piercing her body. She is at peace and I am envious of that.
I am not good for her, I know that. I need to go and stay gone. She deserves stability and happiness and a million other things I cannot give her. So, I will be the asshole that leaves in the morning before she wakes, just like I always do. She will hate me and curse me and cry for me. And I will stay away this time. I have to.
I chance it by leaning in and brushing my lips across her forehead. Her face wrinkles up and then relaxes again, but she doesn’t wake. I slip out of the bed and out of the room, following the trail of discarded clothes and put them back on one by one. Then I am gone in the same flash of light that allowed me to enter there in the first place. A convenient exit that I have misused way too many times.
Outside, the sun is bright and the world is waking up. I can feel my resolve growing stronger as the new day builds. That was it, I am done. It was awful and I shouldn’t have done it, but it’s over now and I will not be repeating it. I am a pillar of inner strength. That was the last time and she is finally free of me. I am doing the right thing.
My strength is impressive, both inside and out. But it is not impenetrable, especially when darkness falls and the world around me grows quiet. When I am alone with nothing but my thoughts, and I just need to feel something good again.
Everyone has a weakness.   
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feralnumberfive · 2 years
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I don't think I've seen anyone talk about Five being the founder of The Commission yet. He's literally the founder of the very thing he hates. The very thing that led him down the road of killing people. The very thing that has hunted him and his family and almost killed them. The Commission has caused him so much trouble and pain in his life yet he's indirectly the one responsible for it
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parkersbliss · 2 years
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I'm so embarrassed but here it is! 😭 so there's y/n who is addicted to coffee flavored candies but doesn't like drinking coffee. which five finds very confusing. She's always offering five candy but ofc, five answers grumpily like "it's not the same thing as coffee"— and suddenly goes to a part where they kiss (idk how it leads to this omg) and five is absolutely ENAMORED with her lips bcs of all the coffee candy she eats..
is this too much explaining or what.. ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THIS I LOVE U LOTS <3
this… this is THE request. thank you for this 🙇‍♀️
Sweet Flavor | F. Hargreeves
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pairing: five hargreeves x fem!reader
wc; 637
warnings: might make you blush lololol
synopsis: five refuses to try your favorite candy, so you make him
a/n: feeding yall today 🙄 you’re welcome! half way through s3 💪 also aged up five ofc!
requests: CLOSED
Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt list 
Five sighs, leaning on the table as you take a seat next to him.
“Really embracing the old man, huh?” You said, referring to his unusual outfit. Instead of the academy uniform, he’d opted for a vest, flannel, and fedora combination. You honestly wondered where he found it.
Five hums. “Yes, I am. It’s called retirement.”
You just laugh at him, unwrapping one of your Werther's caramel coffee candies. Five wrinkles his nose in disgust as you hand one towards him. “Want one?”
“I’d rather save the world again. Naked,” He sassily replied.
“I wouldn’t say that if I were you,” You tease, popping the candy into your mouth and sighing at this sweet-bitter flavor.
“Why don’t you just drink regular coffee?” He asked. “Like a sane person?”
“Because coffee is nasty,” You said, sticking your tongue out at him and displaying the small candy. “These are better.”
“They’re not even close to the same thing,” He grumbled.
You raise a brow at him. “And how would you know? You’ve never had one.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he dismisses, getting up and inspecting the hotel buffet. You follow after him, popping another candy in your mouth.
“So, what are you thinking of doing since you’re retired?”
Five grabs a cup and fills it with coffee. “I don’t know. Traveling? Isn’t that what people do nowadays?”
You scoff, “Yeah, people who don’t look barely eighteen.”
He swats at you, returning to your seats. “I’ll drive.”
He pours some syrup over his pancakes, and you pout. “If you like that much syrup, you’d love the candies just as much.”
“Coffee is supposed to taste bitter, not filled with artificial flavoring.”
“You don’t know till you try.”
“I do know, and I’m telling you now, that is shit,” He points at your mouth with his knife.
You frown, suckling on the candy and its sweet flavor. You were lucky to have found them back in 1963, and now you just kept a handful in your pocket at all times.
“You didn’t like me at first, and now…”
“That’s completely different,” He defends.
You laugh. “Really? Cause you’re a bitter old man, and I’m the sweetest person ever.”
“You are far from the sweetest person ever.”
“That’s not the point, Five,” You huff.
He smiles at you. “Isn’t it, darling?”
“Just try one,” You urged, tossing the wrapped candy at his face. “Please.”
"Try a cup of coffee, and I’ll consider it.”
“I have tried a cup of coffee.”
“When?”
You roll your eyes. “Prior to when we met.”
“Then, I tried your coffee-flavored candy… prior to when we met.”
You glare at Five, and he just smirks, taking a bite of his pancakes.
“Please,” You beg.
“No.”
“But—”
“No.”
“They’re—”
“No.”
“Five.”
“No.”
You click your tongue, still rolling the candy in your mouth when a thought occurs to you. Five notices the mischievous look on your face, and his eyebrows furrow together.
“(Y/N)—”
He’s cut off when you grab the back of his neck and smash your lips together. His hands fly to cup your cheeks as the taste of the candy invades his mouth. And holy shit, he loves it. His lips press harder against yours, almost making you fall off the seat as he chases the flavor.
And then, before you know it, he slips his tongue in and relishes the sweet flavor. His tongue explores every inch of your mouth, trying to seek the sugary treat he so desires. You let out a quiet whine, brain fuzzy at the action. Five groans as you tug on his hair, tongue invading your mouth, and then he pulls back.
You’re stunned, blinking as your lips smack together. And then you notice something missing and gasp.
Five grins, sticking his tongue to display your coffee-flavored caramel proudly on his tongue.
“You little—”
— END —
🏷 five taglist: @clearbasementvoid @halfumbrella @esmedith
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https-hargreeves · 5 months
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Allison (gets a call): Hello?
Kidnapper: We have your kid…
Allison: Claire?!
Kidnapper: What? No, your son
Allison (relived but confused): But I don’t have a son
Kidnapper (becoming frustrated): The who is the brunet kid who asked me for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then cussed us out when we didn’t have it?!
Allison: Oh my gosh they have Five!!
Five: I’m right here
Allison: Oh okay good!
Allison:…
Allison: OH MY GOSH THEY HAVE KLAUS!!
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sharkneto · 3 months
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what about five made him ur blorbo…
Man, what made Five my guy.
There’s the surface level stuff – he hits a lot of tropes I love. Asshole with a heart, competent in everything but people, an assassin who gets cool fights to good music, teleports, last man in the world, has a fucked up wife situation. He’s a fifty-eight-year-old man who looks thirteen, that concept right there has so much to work through, all by itself.
All of that is really fun stuff, but under all of that, I think I can sum up why Five hit so hard with just that he has heart. The show could have gone the route of comic!Five – unredeemable bastard of a tiny man. That would have been fun, I love comic!Five, but he works better on a comic book page, where things can be more 2D. The change the show made – maybe on accident – is that show!Five loves an incredible amount, and that’s what hooked me hard. Sure, some of this is fan interpretation, but I think it’s got moments in-show to back it up. One of his first moves he made, when stuck in the apocalypse, was to make Delores – he has her within a few days of landing there. She says so much about him the second we meet her in the show - shorthand to tell us just how bad the apocalypse was, and that, when faced with nothing, Five makes a person he has to take care of. With that, he survived four decades as the last person on earth in dystopian hell before he could get back to save the world – so he says, at least, but he has always prioritized his siblings. They're his world. He’s not great at saying it, but he’s a man of action and his actions speak very loudly.
With all that love, comes a lot of grief, which is actually what keeps me going with Five. I’m pretty open that I’ve had a lot of grief in my life. I’m doing better, it’s been a number of years now, but grief doesn’t go away, and Five is an incredible vehicle for playing with and processing grief. Experiencing it, growing from it, moving on with life around it. And Five has so many layers of grief to play with. There’s the grief for his family who he found dead when he was 13, grief for the world because it all ended, grief for the life he lost, grief for the life he had to live, grief for what he’s had to do, grief for his body and his situation. How do you keep going and move on after experiencing such loss? I find it both cathartic and motivating to think about and sit in that space.
He's a walking tragedy and I adore him for it. Character of all time.
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non-plutonian-druid · 5 months
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can we talk about the choice to make luther the one with the music. here is a portrait of seven five siblings. none of them are in each others lives anymore. theyre dragged back together by their fathers funeral and find themselves nearly strangers, and none of them are particularly interested in changing that. but luther. luther wants them to be a team. he resents them for leaving and he resents them for not wanting to stay and solve this mystery. he is The Leader and as The Leader its his job to bring the gang back together and absolutely nobody is the least bit interested in heeding him.
but then. the first time that theres an indication that these people do have potential to be a family again. and its because luther plays a song.
its so beautiful. they could have given the music collection to any of them!! wouldn't it feel so in character for it to have been allison or klaus? or, for that matter, viktor? but they gave it to luther. the hardass who has been annoyed with everyone this whole time, the guy who is taking this all too seriously, THATS the one they give the 80s pop music to.
because he wants them to work together. and the show tells us yes, he he has that power, to help heal his family. but only by being a person with a music collection who does goofy dances and loves model planes. and not by being a superhero
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every one of the hargreeves siblings is so self centred yes even your favourite one and it is the best part of the show. theyre all selfish and mean to each other and they lash out as soon as they feel a little threatened and it makes them so much more interesting than good guys who do good things + childhood trauma
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beif0ngs · 2 years
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The Hargreeves Family in The Umbrella Academy Season 3 + text post meme
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momokodaisy · 5 months
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Extremely Late Umbrella Sparrow Academy Textposts That Have Definitely Been Done Before (5/?) Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4
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