A Truce
The pamphlet said that the train would be traveling at a slower speed through the section we're currently on, which meant it'd be a good chance to really take in the view at night. Still, I didn't expect Luke to be sitting on the literal roof of the car, looking up at the stars. I thought he'd be scared of heights or something.
It works out to my advantage, though.
"Hey," I call out to him.
"Go away." Fair response, considering how I treated him in the dining car. Hopefully my gift helps make up for it.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have scammed you out of your dessert." I pause long enough to bring my hands out from behind my back, revealing my present. "I talked to one of the attendants and managed to snag a spare serving for ya."
Luke turns around to look at me and the to-go container that his dessert is in.
"You didn't do anything to it, did you?" he asks.
"If I did, I wouldn't be alive to tell the tale." Between Simeon and MC, they'd probably killed me if I did something like that to Luke.
"Fair enough." I walk over and sit beside Luke, handing him the to-go container. As he begins eating, I glance up at the night sky. It's been a while since I've taken in the night sky in the human world. Usually I'm running a bunch of errands for the witches when I'm up here, and they hate whenever I dilly-dally.
"You see those stars over there? The ones that form a triangle?" I point towards it, Luke following along with his eyes. "Those are Betelgeuse, Sirius, and Procyon. Betelgeuse is part of Orion, Sirius of Canis Major, and Procyon of Canis Minor." Luke swallows his bite.
"You know constellations?" I nod.
"Michael taught me everything I know about them. Obviously, it was a real long time ago, but we spent a lot of nights together in the observatory." I chuckle slightly as I recall the memory. "For him, it was part of his job. I just liked following him around."
"So you haven't forgotten about Michael, then?"
"I can't. It's impossible. He's the type of person that sticks in your memory, for better or for worse." I sigh. I probably shouldn't reveal this to Luke, but at the same time I want to prepare him.
"What do you mean by 'or for worse'?" Luke looks up at me, and I see myself reflected in his eyes. In that moment, I make my decision. I can't have him go through the same thing I did.
"Michael used to be my mentor. As I said, I followed him around pretty much everywhere he went. I wanted his approval more than anything in the world. Unfortunately, that's kinda hard to do when you're born defective."
"But you look fine." I shake my head.
"The problem was in my personality, not my physical appearance. I was incredibly hyper for an angel, and I found it hard to focus on anything for more than a few moments. It made it difficult for them to assign me to a specific area of expertise, as I'd fall behind my classmates each and every time. Eventually, they thought I'd do better shadowing someone, and so they assigned me to Michael.
"Things were fine for a while, but then one day we walked into a room with a bunch of other high-ranking angels. One of them saw me and started poking fun at me, calling me Michael's little puppy."
"So that's where that came from," Luke interrupts. "You weren't really present in the dining car, were you?" I shake my head.
"For whatever reason, hearing you mentioning Michael triggered the emotions and memories from back then. It's a bit of a sore spot for me, to be honest." I pause. "In addition to that lovely little insult, the angel started barking at me, causing a couple of his buddies to join in. I looked up at Michael, hoping he'd tell them to knock it off, but instead he saw the tears forming in my eyes and scoffed, rolling his eyes as he turned his back to me. In that moment, I knew he wanted nothing to do with me, and it hurt.
"And so I ran. I don't know for how long, but eventually I wound up deep in the woods, my lungs about to burst. I nearly collapsed against one of the trees as I began sobbing. I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't trying to annoy him, but he was clearly disgusted with me." Luke has tears forming in his eyes.
"Who found you?" he whispers.
"Lucifer did. I didn't even realize he was there until he softly called my name and asked me what was wrong. When I told him, he held me in his arms for several moments before telling me that he'd take over as my mentor."
That memory affects my behavior to this very day. That's why I often push away the people I love the most by acting out; the further away they are, the less likely they are to hurt me. I know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism, but I don't really know how to stop. I was slightly younger than Luke when it happened.
"Are you worried that's going to happen to me, Mammon?" I sigh.
"For your sake, I hope it doesn't. I just want you to be careful, that's all. Being rejected sucks, especially if it's coming from someone you look up to and admire." I pause again. "I also don't want you to be crushed when you discover cracks in his armor. Everyone has flaws, even the most kind and generous people."
We sit in silence for a while. At some point, Luke scoots closer to my side, and I wrap an arm around him. He really is a sweet kid. I just wish he wasn't so fragile.
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