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djmarinizelablog · 3 years

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Ultimate Bonding Experience

Summary:

Hange and Moblit follow Levi and Petra on a date. It's a disaster.

Tags:

one-shot, fluff and humor, nonbinary Hange, they/them pronouns for Hange, officemates, best friends forever, friends to lovers, jealous Hange

Notes:

This is for the Levihan Filo Week Day 4 Prompt, Tourist Destinations, featuring Greenbelt, Makati (Yes, the audacity of me.)

—

"You're going out on a date with Petra?” Hange stood up too quickly, knocking down the pen holder on their office desk in process. “As in… Petra Rall? From the Marketing Department? As in, sweet-as-candy, honey-bunny, gorgeous glam girl Petra?”

Levi swiveled his computer chair to face his best friend. "She asked me out."

"Hmm. And you didn't say no?" Hange was absentmindedly tapping the end of the pencil against their lower lip.

He gave a half-shrug. "Wanted to try something new for a change."

This was really new. Hange was incredulous. Levi never went on dates. Levi went on food trips and grocery shopping and karaoke nights (mainly due to Hange’s persistent nagging), but he never agreed to a date. There were always other people around whenever they hung out. The two of them had been best friends since college, and now as colleagues, Hange could tell from the numerous awkward and sort-of romantic encounters with Levi that Petra wasn't exactly his type.

"Is this a joke? Is this for a dare?" Hange kept prodding. They would bombard him with questions nonstop until he gave in. “Did you hit your head somewhere? Are you dying?”

"No, I just told you, Four-Eyes, I wanted to try something new.” Levi returned to his work and continued typing on his computer. “She said she already has planned something for tomorrow."

"This isn't you, Levi. You don't like itineraries," Hange said, sitting down to compose themself, gripping the pencil in their hand and holding it too tightly against the notepad.

"Maybe it's about time I do."

“So you’re choosing her over me?” Hange was already upset. Their hand was already shaking at this point, the tip of their pencil threatening to break. Levi would usually hang out with them to binge-watch a show or series on Saturdays over pizza and cheap beer, which reminded her, “What about our UBE?”

“Our—what?” He looked over his shoulder, confused.

Hange gave him a hopeful smile, hand still resting on the paper. “Our Ultimate Bonding... Experience?”

Levi glued his eyes to his computer screen once more. “You can Netflix and chill on your own for one night.”

The pencil snapped in half.

—

It was only 6 pm and Hange had already downed half a bucket of beers this Friday evening. Tomorrow morning, Levi would meet up with Petra somewhere for their date, maybe have lunch, a movie, some hand-holding and kissing, and then the two would possibly end it up with a bang. Something was really boiling deep inside Hange as these imagined scenes flashed through their mind.

And Erwin had to bear with them for tonight.

"I just don't understand, 'Win," Hange started, "Why would he do this? Why would he trade our pizza night for a girl he can't even relate to?"

Erwin was Hange and Levi's colleague in the same department before he got promoted to an executive position in corporate. Times like this, he would lend an ear to his friends' complaints and act as some sort of a part-time counselor, part-time therapist, and full-time drinking buddy.

Hange should be thankful Erwin had never charged them for these sessions before, but now with all of their whining, he was probably regretting that he gave them for free.

"Last I checked, you guys are just best buddies," Erwin commented. "Have you ever told him how much he means to you?"

Hange pouted.

"I'll take that as a no," Erwin said.

Their friend had a point.

"I can imagine it already, " Hange mused, eyes already watery, "I can imagine him walking down the aisle with pretty-face Petra and making babies with her, while I end up becoming that unknown relative who sends them presents for Christmas every year."

"Ah, I can imagine all the regrets you'll be having for the rest of your life."

Hange grabbed a fistful of hair in both hands. "What do I do now? I want Levi to be happy, I really do. I want to see him be happy, even if it's not with me. But why am I getting all riled up about this?"

"Then follow him," Erwin simply said as he wiped the beer of his mouth with his sleeve. "Follow him to the ends of the earth. Maybe you'll see for yourself."

Erwin had meant it as a figurative speech. When he said follow, he meant Hange supporting Levi all the way through. He never meant Hange stalking their best friend on his date.

Obviously, Hange had gotten it all wrong, because now they just blinked once, twice, a grin forming on their face. As if an epiphany had appeared before them. "Hmm. You're right."

Follow him.

This could be the greatest thing that Erwin Smith had ever come up with. Brilliant idea. Superb, even. One-of-a-kind strategy by none other than the genius Erwin Smith—oh, yes, yes, yes.

Erwin was still finishing up his beer when Hange tackled him into a hug out of gratitude, their smile wider than before. "You really are the best of the best, you know that?" They told him. This could work, Hange thought.

The plan was to follow Levi, literally.

—

"Boss, why did you pay me a hundred bucks to follow them?"

Hange was wringing their hands together. "We’re doing this together, Moblit! I wanna see how Levi acts around this girl."

"That's it?" Poor Moblit couldn't believe what he's hearing.

"I just wanna make sure he's making a good impression!"

They’re both sitting in a cafe right across Levi’s apartment. He and Hange were dressed up in plain clothes with matching sunglasses and baseball caps. Moblit had no choice; Hange was going to strangle his neck if he declined.

Moblit rested his head against his palm. "Aren't you jealous?"

"Pffft, me? Jealous?" The sour look on Hange's face was enough to tell Moblit that they weren't fooling anybody. It was just Levi’s attitude towards the entire ordeal that was tearing Hange apart. “I’m sure I’m not being rude.”

Moblit scratched his head and sighed. Hange as a boss could be really demanding at times, but the two of them were also friends in real life, which is why he agreed to this. "I thought Petra was head over heels for Oluo?"

"I thought so, too."

"He's dense, though," Moblit said. "Maybe this was just a ruse to get Oluo to confess?"

But Hange was already distracted by the sight of Levi coming out of the building.

"Ooh, he's leaving." Hange pointed towards the familiar figure. They then put their shades on as part of their undercover mission. "Let's go."

The two of them hid behind the fast food mascot of the big fat stupid ugly bee. Levi really knew how to dress up, Hange had noticed. He was wearing a plain button-up with dark pants, his hair neatly trimmed and his face cleanly shaven. He never dressed up like this whenever they hung out. It hurt Hange to see him this handsome. Levi then headed straight for the nearest station and waited for the next train to arrive. Hange and Moblit then took the same train but stayed on the other rail cart, catching a glimpse of Levi every now and then to make sure that he hadn't alighted by then.

“What would you do if they do end up together, Boss?” Moblit had to ask.

“I'd sign my life away as a single person for the rest of my years. Be an old cat person, maybe.”

The skyscrapers of Makati were passing them by, huge billboards left and right of commercial ads and government campaigns looming over them. If they looked far enough, they could see shanties and informal settlers nested in small alleys here and there. Hange had been seeing this for the past few years of their lives; Metro Manila could be daunting, but they wished they could spend away from the noisiness and busyness of the capital.

“He's getting out at Ayala Station, Boss!" Moblit pointed out. "They’re probably meeting somewhere in Greenbelt.”

“Ah, fancy-schmancy. Who could have known?”

Makati was the place only for the very rich, or for the very poor. There was no in between. Nobody dared to bat an eyelash at the rickety houses behind the skyscrapers. The shopping district and the high-end restaurants where affluent people would gather: celebrities, business executives, expatriates, anyone who could call themselves rich, rich, rich. Hange was none of those. Levi wasn't either, but he could easily pass off as one if he wanted to.

When they got off at the station, Hange and Moblit crouched behind the dumpster, craning their necks enough to get a glimpse of Levi coming up to Petra who stood waiting in front of the fountain.

“Ah, I’m so glad you’re here,” Petra said, her smile warm and happy as Levi walked alongside her. “Shall we?”

Petra was effortlessly gorgeous. She had her hair clipped into place, her slender figure matching the nice summer dress that she wore. She had also put on some light makeup, but even without it, Hange could tell that Petra would still be as breathtaking.

There really wasn't anything that Hange could hate about Petra Rall. Petra was attractive and alluring, sweet and shy, probably the ultimate dream girl of every person in their office. Hange would date Petra if she were even into them, provided the two of them had a spark.

But Hange's attention was all for Levi. Always had been. Always will be.

"Shall we, Boss?" Moblit interrupted Hange's train of thought.

"Right."

Tonight they felt that they had to accept the possibility of Levi ending up with someone else. Regardless of how this would end, Hange had decided they'd be there for him.

—

They didn't really blend in with this fancy-schmancy place. This was one of the most expensive fashion malls in the area; the price tags made broke people cry, and the restaurants were considered artisan for their taste. People were dressed up in crisp polos and cocktail dresses, the faint smell of perfume wafting here and there. The gardens had a beautiful landscape, stoned paths paving the way, and the lights were carefully draped on the trees around them, glowing like stars. It was a romantic setup for lovers.

Petra was pointing out all the different sights around the area, holding onto Levi's arm. Levi remained stiff all throughout their date, not even shedding a single ounce of emotion when Petra popped a joke. It ended up being a lousy one, though, since Levi didn't even scoff. Hange felt smug after that; their own jokes were terrible as well, but at least Levi would call them out for that.

"I think it's going well, don't you, Boss?" Hange's assistant teased.

“Oh, yeah, perfect, I can see how compatible they are.” Hange was being sarcastic.

Petra had chosen a place called People's Palace. It had a five-star rating on the internet, and even the cheapest item on the menu could break a whole in someone's wallet. There was no way they could eat there. Levi didn't even protest, though. He must have been saving up for this all along. Thankfully, the restaurant's walls were a solid transparent glass, and Hange could see the two of them from afar without having to go in.

Petra was saying something in a hushed tone when Levi came over to her side. He then put a hand on her face, tenderly brushing her cheek, as if he were about to go in for a kiss.

The moment Levi held Petra that close, Hange had to stifle their gasp which ended up like a strangled cry.

The sound made Levi look over his shoulder. Moblit had to cup his hand over Hange's mouth to shush them up, pulling them down behind the huge pots of plants.

"You alright?" Petra asked him, craning her neck towards the source of the sound as well. "What was that?"

Levi clicked his tongue. "Probably some lost bird. Well, more like a dying one."

The two went back to their meals and didn't bother to check if they were being followed. Moblit then let go of Hange and sighed in relief. They were safe, for now.

Everyone in the restaurant looked classy and elegant, soft lights all over the room. After Levi had paid for the meal (he didn't look too happy when he saw the check), he and Petra stood up and exited through the other door on the farthest end. Hange had forgotten about that. The People's Palace had an entryway connecting to the indoor gardens. They would have to enter the premise in order to follow Levi and Petra.

Without any further thought, Hange immediately stood up to barge into the restaurant, urging their assistant to follow. "They're probably confessing to each other in the gardens!" Hange was already right through the entrance. "Moblit, hurry up, I need to—"

"Boss, watch out!"

The warning came in too late. Hange had already knocked down a drink from the waiter's tray right behind them, the liquid spilling all onto the customer sitting nearest to where they were. The huge beefy man was furious, the steam already coming out of his reddened ears.

"Why, you, son-of-a-gun—"

Hange held up both hands in front of their face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!"

"Do you even belong here, you prick?" The stranger grabbed the front of Hange's oversized shirt. There were gasps from other customers, and one of the servers left to call the manager.

"Please, don't!"

The man started shaking Hange. "Filthy, pathetic, piece of—"

Somebody grabbed his wrist before he could even do anything else. "Let go."

It was Levi.

"And who the fuck are you?"

He was small, but his presence was intimidating, firm. "My friend already apologized. Isn't that enough?"

The stranger released his hold of Hange and held out the stained fabric. "Fucking pay for this shirt, asshole!"

Hange was mouthing 'sorry, sorry, sorry,' to him, their eyes filled with apology. Levi didn't bat an eyelash. Instead, he quickly took out twenty bucks from his wallet and shoved it into the huge man's hand. He then grabbed his friend by the elbow. "Hange, come on."

"Hey, this isn't enough, shortstack," the stranger grumbled, crumpling the bill. He gestured once more to his stained shirt. "Do you know how much I bought this for?"

"You could buy a similar one from one of the thrift stores downtown for less than half the price. I doubt anybody would notice." He tugged at Hange again and headed for the exit.

"What did you say, you little—"

They were out of the restaurant before the man could even finish. The manager had kept the customer in his seat, trying to console him with a discounted coupon.

Outside was a breath of fresh air, the coolness of it enough to clear their minds.

“You alright?”

Hange was still trembling. Their lips quivered, too. They had never been roughly-held like that before. Levi calmed them down by rubbing their back, urging them to take slow, steady breaths.

"Levi?" Petra called after the two of them. "Are we still heading to the movie?"

Hange had feared this all along. They didn't want to ruin his date with Petra; they merely wanted to see Levi, and now they had done it. Hange held their own face in both hands. Levi saw it and knew what he had to do.

“I’m sorry, Petra, but we should probably call it off at this point.”

"Should we re-sched?"

Levi paused before responding. "I had a good time tonight, Petra. But I think... once is enough.

“Oh. Okay.” Petra stood still for a moment, disappointed. They expected her to cause a scene, to thrash at him or at Hange, and then complain about her evening. But to Petra's credit, she merely broke into a smile and said, "Thanks for giving me a chance, Levi. I had a good time, too. You guys enjoy the rest of the night."

The huge beefy man suddenly burst out of the glass door, the restaurant manager no longer able to hold him back. "You fucking punks, I'm going to call the police—"

Hange hid behind Levi out of instinct, which didn't make any sense, considering that he was a couple inches shorter than them. "What now?" Their hand was still in his.

"Go ahead, Petra's safe with me," Moblit assured them. "I'll text you guys once we get home safely."

Levi nodded and took off with Hange.

They ran past the gardens, past the expensive shops, past the fountains and the bright lights. Everything seemed like a blur. Hange's senses had overloaded their brain at this point, especially since Levi's hand was still holding on to theirs. It was warm. They never expected any of these to happen. Levi would look over his shoulder once in a while to see if Hange could still keep up. They ran as fast as their legs could carry them, and with every tug of their hand, Hange felt like they were living in a dream. The two of them had already reached the station, heavily panting as they clutched their chest.

"So much for trailing me all this time, Four-Eyes," Levi heaved. He knew.

Hange was beyond apologetic. "I'm sorry, okay! I just wanted to see how you'd act around someone while on a date."

Levi made another scoffing sound. For a minute, Hange thought he was mad. But the intensity in his eyes was full of longing, like somehow, he did want Hange to follow him. And then Levi sighed. "Erwin told me you might be spying; my suspicions were confirmed when I saw you hiding behind the plants."

“Oh.” Hange had nothing else to say. “Well, then, I, uhm, I should probably head home. Sorry for ruining your date."

They were about to leave when Levi held their hand once again, stopping Hange in their tracks. "Where do you want to go?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"You already ruined my date, so you might as well hang out with me for the rest of the night."

Hange couldn't believe what they were hearing. It was almost too good to be true. But the reality dawned upon them; they were still in Makati, and they couldn’t really afford any of these places. "Uh… well, I don't really have any money, and I'm not really sure I want to dine here…"

"It's fine,” Levi said. “I know a place to go."

-------

Part 2 coming up soon!

#levihan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #levi ackerman #captain levi #levi attack on titan #hange zoe #hanji zoe #fanfic #fanfiction #greenbelt makati #mine #writing #djmarinizela

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

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HSMTMTS 2x11: Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents... the reason for my next mental breakdown

I can't believe myself, honestly. Oversleeping on the one day of the week that I've got something exciting to wake up for? Oh well, I'm up now and I'd better go ahead and do this before my dashboard has showered me with spoilers. I mean, I have never really minded spoilers, but when it comes to this, somehow I do. Though I do wish something had forewarned me about last week's snap ending (get it, 'snap'... I'll see myself out). I'd better dive in already.

Yes, Mr Mazzara, that's what I've been saying for a while! Ok, maybe I haven't been very vocal about it, but it was in the foreground of my mind that they should have asked for Mr Mazzara's help re: transformation! I'm just glad he pointed it out. Not that he could have done much while he was busy playing therapist for his beloved Miss Jenn. Oh well.

Were those Ash and Ricky doing actual paired-up warmups? That is what they should have been doing for weeks now. That and having actual off-stage interactions, too. But I still subscribe to the theory that the gang had some good rehearsals off-screen — otherwise there's no way they could have been this good on stage as we saw in the previews. I said it last time and I'll say it again — not everything is for us to see.

Wow. The one time our leads are in unison, and it is about both being injured. The East High drama club must be cursed — they can't have one production run smoothly and without what can only be described as pure unbridled chaos.

They don't have any understudies? That explains some things... but also how? But also, I'm so happy Ashlyn is going on. No way she would have missed her first (first of many, right?) chance of being the lead because of some 'minor' injury.

Ricky and Nini still can't talk to each other properly. Oh well. Take your time. It's not like I care about this pairing anymore.

Did EJ just use the word 'dig'? Boy, the boy's got it baaaaaad. Also, what is it going to take for these two to realise they're in love? For all we know, they might have that big kiss we're all dreaming of and still be like 'nah, it's nothing, we're buddies'... give me a break! But I mean, at this point they might just be turning into Redlyn 2.0, where even a kiss doesn't define things. But hey, if they do follow in Redlyn's footsteps, that only means good things in their future, right?

What did that fake French git do to my boy Carlos? He's not supposed to look this inanimate until right before the climax of the play! Well, I mean, at least Seb serving as his interpreter means that Seb gets more lines for a bit. Too bad he can't go on for someone with more lines in the play.

Miss Jenn's 'words of inspiration' were less than inspired... yeah, this show's going down. Or it would, if it depended solely on her. Let's hope the kids do better. I mean, I know for a fact they will... at least for about 5 minutes of the thing. There is still room for things to go wrong and I'm scared.

Oh, my sweet boy... I wish I could jump in there and do something to help him feel less nervous. Thing is, if I were there, I'd probably be the most nervous of them all, even if I were playing Townsfolk #3 or something, and everyone's nervousness would rub off on me, and I would be making things worse instead of helping. So yeah, I'm kind of glad I'm not there.

Ahhhh who called it? @redlyncentral was it you? Ash got flowers for her Biggie! And there's a card whose contents we've yet to see. But that doesn't seem to be helping either. My sweet, sweet Reddy... I hope and pray he'll be alright.

Well this is awkward! Who told Mike to show up and shake everything up right now? Miss Jenn is literally on the brink of exploding, and now she's stuck in this completely unnecessary love triangle. She needs some space. And a quiet place to breathe, thanks Mr M for suggesting it.

'Did we forget to build a mote around the school or...' Yeah, you tell her, Rick! That girl whose name I never want to pronounce (because it makes me think of much nicer people and she's making me hate it) has no business being there. She's not... being given a redemption arc, is she now? Some people just don't deserve it. And if hating her is an unpopular opinion now, well, I never did care much about having popular opinions. I can live with that.

'Lily, scram!' Yes, thank you, Natalie! I've always wanted someone who would voice my thoughts in a way that the characters can hear them. Make this girl a main next season, won't you? (Just so we're crystal clear, I mean Natalie, not the other one.)

OMG Mr M is in the play! In a way... I love that!

I love, love, love the way they did the prologue. 'Repulsed [the prince makes an over-the-top gesture of repulsion] by her haggard appearance [the witch shows off her face to the audience]...' I love this. I would pay a lot for a chance to see their entire play, you know?

Oh dear, somebody give my boy Reddy some sort of... medical aid against all the throwing up! I've got a nice pill that helps me with my bad cases of motion sickness. Hey, so maybe I could have helped if I were there after all. Great, now I feel bad. But also, is all the throwing up an excuse on the writers' part to keep my boy off-screen for the majority of this episode? Because it's a really lame excuse.

Gina's 'Many questions' continues to be a mood. What exactly is Miss Jenn expecting from the kids? Last-minute adjustments? No way. This spells disaster.

Was Carlos on vocal rest or something? Because he shines like the star he is... despite all the very obvious nervousness backstage. I mean, I wouldn't have it any other way, but... oh well, I wouldn't say it's unrealistic. In my personal performing experience, the most nervous ones perform the best. (So... what is that saying for my boy Reddy? Good things only.)

I've already had the opportunity to geek out about Be Our Guest yesterday, but... I mean, just look at them! Carlos doesn't need actual candles to be on fire, Ashlyn is stealing the scene without any lines in it, Gina is absolutely gorgeous, and don't even get me started on EJ and Big Red looking at their girls in absolute awe! This is everything!

Aww, look at them! Gina and Ashlyn dancing together, I mean. They're sisters and it really shows. And I love them both so much.

Kourtney is an absolute show-stealer! I'm still upset about some casting choices (one of them is in this scene, doing his absolute best with the crumbs he has been given), but she is absolutely perfect. I think I'll rewind and watch this entire scene again before moving on with the rest of the episode.

I'd just like to point out that Frankie's voice in his lower register is everything!

'You absolutely dusted that stage'... Not EJ making a pun so punny even I could not have thought of it... boy is absolutely smitten!

Not me tearing up when Jordan Fisher appeared as Gina's brother... like, I knew it was happening — I knew it even before it was announced. And I still teared up because, well, it's emotional in-universe and out.

Awww, my boy Reddy is so in love with Ashlyn... I mean, who wouldn't be... but — not Ricky saying Lily might not be as mean as they thought. Especially not to Big Red of all people. To him, she was just as mean as they thought.

'Side hustle project in the south hallway'? Ooh, what is it, I want to know now!

Why do I feel like things are a bit too awkward between Kourtney and Howie? Not that I'm too invested in their relationship, but if it bothered me, imagine how it must feel for the stans.

No, Ash, you absolutely do not need to add any fancy riffs to the song! Especially not just because L... well, that girl did it. You're unique and lovely and a literal Disney princess inside and out. That girl? She's just a wolf in a sparkling golden dress.

Awww... Big Red literally lowers Ash's blood pressure! Those two are such an amazing couple! (Full disclosure, though, he kind of does the same for me too; the other night I had this horrible nightmare, and I woke up in cold sweat in the middle of the night, and then... ok, getting too personal there.) The point is, if even the fantasy of a Big Red hug makes me feel better, imagine what his actual presence would do for Ash at that moment. Where is my boy? Everyone seems to be looking for him.

Oh... guess they took my advice to give the poor boy something for his vomiting issue. Good for whoever thought of it.

And we're back to the Porter siblings... forgive me if I still can't wrap my head around calling Gina's brother Jamie. I don't know about you guys, but thanks to my lovely new friend Paz he will always be Theodore to me. I guess we can headcanon that as his middle name. Anyway, I love it that they made a joke about the hilarious height difference between him and Gina because, well, it's the only thing I can think about when I look at the two of them. It reminds me of me and my little cousin who has been taller than me since she was 10, and is still growing taller now at 13. But, I mean, it's not very hard to be taller than me, since I'm so, so short... ok, this is not about me. Moving on.

Was I the only one who actually laughed out loud at Ricky drinking from the bowl as the Beast? I mean, that part has always made me laugh in the original movie, but something about Ricky's take on it makes it even funnier.

Meanwhile, my girl Ash is absolutely killing it as Belle. Not me having the very same expression as Big Red while watching her... gosh, I love both of them so much! Also, no offence to the rest of the cast, but Julia really is the best vocalist out there. Out of all of them. I said what I said.

My apologies to Ricky, but his voice is just not it when it comes to playing the Beast. Still, with the other option being him putting on that fake deep voice from the audition, I'm glad he didn't.

Ahhhh Portwell nation you ok guys? Since we didn't get them singing Something There, this is very much the next best thing... and boy, is it good!

Those glances between Kourtney and Howie, on the other hand... what on Earth is happening there?

Ok, so you all know just how strongly I feel about Seb's casting as Chip, and yet... boy had one line and absolutely ate it up! Give him an actual singing role next time, Miss Jenn!

EJ being starstruck by Jamie not because he's a big music producer, but because he's Gina's brother... excuse me while I sob!

Excuse me, what!!!! 'A big brother figure'? Boy, this didn't turn out the way I thought it would... now I'm scared.

Way to ruin things, Jamie! And I don't even mean the fact that his name is not Theodore. It doesn't matter what his name is anymore. He might just have put a spanner in the works of Portwell, and they were just doing so well! Ugh, I'm so frustrated. I wish I'd never boarded — what did I call it — 'the majestic S.S. Portwell'. What if it doesn't set sail now?

And there goes another disappointment... Carlos' 'the orchestra hasn't vamped this much since Bop to the Top' line had nothing to do with Seblos, and everything to do with what might still be the downfall of this show. I am not ready.

No. Miss Jenn did not just say that. She did not just tell Ricky — who, may I remind you, not that anyone's forgotten, just fell off of a high place last episode — to 'jump off of something high'. I realise she's under all the pressure, but that is not an excuse. Well, at least she heard herself.

Oh my gods... Nini — well, Nina, actually — did not just call him 'Richard', did she? That's it, that's the point of no return. And well, I kind of wanted them to reach it.

Told you, didn't I? I told you that-girl-who-must-not-be-named was evil! I always follow my intuition and it has not once deceived me. Redeem that, if you can! Guess what? You can't. We've just reached another point of no return.

Wait, a bloody cliffhanger? I cannot handle this. I physically cannot handle this. If you need me, I'll be sitting on my bed in shock, trying to process everything that happened. I'll need a while to get a grip on myself.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #ricky bowen #nini salazar-roberts #gina porter #ej caswell #ashlyn moon caswell #big red redonovich #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew-smith #kourtney greene #hsmtmts miss jenn #hsmtmts mr mazzara #hsmtmts howie #jnk

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jamaisvuandyou · 3 years

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Now or Never: Part 2

Description: Based on THIS reaction, for Huening Kai. You break up with your ex when he tells you he doesn’t want to have kids, not knowing that you’re already pregnant.

Part 1

Posted: 03/29/2021

WARNING: oh all sortz of angst

Angst: 1,801 words

A/N: By popular request (sort of)

“Do you want us to tell him?” Soobin asked, holding your hand.

You stared at the floor. “I don’t know.”

Yeonjun squeezed your other hand. “Well, when you do know, just tell us and we’ll comply.”

“He’s been a lot better, lately,” Soobin said quietly.

You breathed in, but couldn’t seem to breath out. Why did he have to do this to you? If it had been anything else, you probably could have forgiven him, but not when it came to your baby.

He didn’t want it.

He didn’t want her.

“But is that because he doesn’t get information about me, or because he’s actually getting better?” You asked.

They both looked uncertain.

“He asks if you’re okay now and then, usually if he sees Soobin texting. We only confirm that you’re okay. We won’t say anything else, and Beomgyu quickly changes the subject.” Yeonjun sighed. “But I don’t know what would happen if he found out he was having a daughter. It’s something I think we would have to ask his therapist about.”

“At least he doesn’t know where you live, now,” Soobin whispered. “That way if we do accidentally say anything, he can’t come and haunt your doorstep.”

“I do appreciate all that you two have done for me,” You said, shifting your gaze to the ceiling. “I still don’t understand why, though.”

“Because you deserve better,” Yeonjun answered, the same answer as always, with no further explanations. “We should get back soon, are you okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for coming to the appointment with me.”

“No problem,” Soobin answered, smiling softly. “You’re our friend, y/n.”

“Yeah...our friend,” Yeonjun echoed, but his tone was slightly different. He pet your head for a second--something you really normally didn’t care for but were used to him doing because he did it so often and it was like a nervous tick with him. “We’re here for you. Part of that is because he isn’t. Won’t be. Can’t be. And because...we think you’re in the right in this situation. We’ve made our amends with Kai, we had to, he’s our brother, but we still side with you.”

“Beomgyu and Taehyun, too,” Soobin added. “They just thought it was better if we limited who knew where you were and who talked to you.”

You nodded. You received texts now and then from the other two, especially Beomgyu because he was a talker, but Taehyung usually kept you apprised of how Hyuka was doing with his therapy sessions.

You didn’t want to shut the door completely. You didn’t want to shut the door, and make it so that your daughter never knew her father. But you kept it mostly closed, only open a crack.

The crack that let the other four through, but managed to keep your ex-boyfriend out.

You wouldn’t let him in, not until you felt secure and safe and knew that he was over you. Because lately...you thought about him, and it didn’t feel like affection. It felt like fleeting infatuation.

Lately, you recognized affection differently.

Your therapist was happy with your progress, and your ability to recognize the faults in the relationship you’d had with Huening Kai. The flags that had gone up, that made you know that the relationship wouldn’t have lasted.

She often asked you about Soobin and Yeonjun, but she didn’t say much when you spoke of them, just smiled and said you had a good support system.

You weren’t sure what she was hinting at, but you figured it was something you had to figure out.

The boys hugged you before they left, Soobin reminding you to text him if you needed anything.

Yeonjun hesitated, letting Soobin out ahead of him. “Hey, y/n...if he finds out we were visiting you today...can I at least tell him that the baby is healthy too?”

You nodded. “Don’t tell him it’s a girl, though. I’m not ready for him to have that information.”

He nodded, hugging you again and leaving.

You didn’t think that the mention of your baby would send Huening back over the edge.

But it did.

Beomgyu texted you saying he lost it, and that they were trying to find him again, and their company was taking action as well.

But he showed up at your workplace, and thankfully one of your coworkers knew the situation and saw him before he could find you--helping you explain to your boss and then sneaking you out a back way and into her car.

Yet, he still managed to catch up to you. You had decided to go to a cafe a little ways away from your new apartment, and suddenly he was sitting across from you.

You stared in horror, wondering how he found you. “You can’t be here.”

“I am. Besides, you let my bandmates visit you,” He replied, almost coldly. “And they aren’t even the father of your child.”

“But they respected my wishes, and didn’t lose their mind and stalk me,” You snapped in a whisper. “Go. Away. You’re going to lose your job if you keep acting out like this.”

“You think I care about my job?!”

“I think you should,” You replied quickly, before he could continue. “You lose this job and I promise you will never see this child. Now get out.”

A hand enclosed on Huening’s shoulder before he could reply.

Taehyun glared down at Huening. “Come on.”

Their manager was a foot behind him, looking stern.

“It’s my child, I have every right to know it!” Huening argued.

“Then act in a way fitting for someone with a child, and I’ll think about it,” You snapped. “But every second you defy my wishes makes the chances of you ever meeting this child dwindle into obscurity. So, get out.”

He stared at you. “You’re never going to forgive me, are you?”

“I can forgive you, but I can’t forget what you’ve done, and I won’t change my mind. We’re not right for each other, and you know that.”

“But Soobin and Yeonjun-hyung are?” He snapped.

You frowned. “Soobin and Yeonjun are my friends. They’ve been helping me, whereas you’ve only been causing me trouble. You showed up at my work, are you so thoughtless as to threaten my job?”

Taehyun tugged Huening Kai away. “Come on. Both of you are too upset to make any sort of productive conversation, and you have an appointment with your therapist.”

“No I don’t--”

“Yes you do. Manager-nim scheduled it on our way here.” Taehyun gave you an apologetic look and continued dragging Hyuka away.

But you no longer felt guilty about cutting him out. About trying to keep him away.

You scheduled your own appointment, and headed that way when she said she could get you in right away.

“He tracked you down?” She asked gently after you had told her everything that had happened that day. Including the conversation.

You nodded. “I don’t know how.”

“Maybe he followed his bandmates?”

“Maybe, but I doubt it,” You answered, sighing. “They’re beyond careful.”

“They care about you.”

“And I’m grateful, but...I don’t know how much longer I can rely on them. It’s causing too much trouble. I think...if I’m going to have him out of my life, I need to get rid of all of the things tying him to me.”

She hummed thoughtfully. “Do you really want to do that?”

You sighed. “No. They’re really the only friends I have. I’m friendly with some of my coworkers, and you know the one basically adopted me as her work-daughter, so we’re a bit closer. But when I was dating...him...they were the only ones who I could talk to about it. And Soobin and I would talk about baking and we were always...friendly. Which was nice. It was nice being friends with them while dating him. But it’s just going to hurt everyone if I continue being friends with them.”

“Can I ask you something?”

You nodded.

“Before you were dating Huening Kai, what brought you close enough to get to know him?”

You frowned a bit. “What?”

“How did you meet him?”

“They endorse one of the products that the company I work for produces, and I’m part of the marketing division. I was the one who got the deal, so I was there for their shoots. They started talking to me, and we got along well. I became the liaison, so if they ever wanted products, I would be the one to take them over.I’m pretty sure they started ordering one thing now and then just to tease me but then we all just sort of moved toward friendship.” You shrugged.

“Who talked to you the most? Who ordered the most?”

“Soobin ordered the most, he really liked the cookies we make, but it was almost always groups when I would get there. Sometimes it would just be Soobin, Yeonjun, and Huening, other times it would be Beomgyu, Huening, and Taehyun; Soobin, Beomgyu, and Yeonjun...usually three of them waiting for me.”

“Who were you most drawn to, initially?”

“Yeonjun, but mostly because he didn’t talk much around me. Then probably Beomgyu because he did talk to me. Soobin because we had a bit in common.”

She wrote a few things down. “Have you ever considered whether your attraction to Huening Kai was actually misplaced affection for one or more of the other boys?”

“What?” You laughed, a little incredulous, but also...nervous?

“It seems to me like you may have felt affection, but misplaced the affection as belonging to Huening when actually it belonged to someone else in his group. It’s mostly a theory, but there are some inklings that make me think it might be true. I want you to journal about your relationship with each member of the group, see if you find out anything about yourself when you finish.” She wrote it down on a separate paper and handed it over to you. “And then we’ll talk more. I’m not going to say that you handled today’s confrontation perfectly, but there are few that would. I am glad that you called and got in after that confrontation, though, and I think you’re making progress.”

You thanked her, and left.

And you wondered, as you journaled later, how you had managed to start dating Huening Kai, of all the members.

The most logical would actually have been Soobin...but Huening had asked you out. And you said yes. And maybe you got caught up in it so much….

You hugged yourself as you contemplated your difficult relationships with all of the boys, wondering if things would ever settle down. Wondering if you really would have to cut them all out to try and create some semblance of peace.

#tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together fic #yeonjun #soobin #huening kai #taehyun #beomgyu #pregnant!reader #angst

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agathasangel · 3 years

Text

you deserve to feel good all the time (sally mckenna x reader)

for anon who requested: “oh okay so me and my overactive imagination have a new autistic reader idea 😅what about reader and her parent(s) goes to Hotel Cortez. her parent(s) aren’t the best, maybe they’re kind of abusive and don’t accept reader because she’s autistic. well, Countess ends up feeding on her parent(s) so reader is left alone. reader finds out and maybe has a meltdown, but Sally is there and surprisingly knows a lot about autism so she’s able to calm reader down and help her through it. reader has to either stay at the hotel or go live somewhere else because her parent(s) were all she had so Sally makes the decision to have reader stay at the hotel and take care of her because obviously she would do a better job than Countess because Sally knows more about how to help someone who’s autistic. and reader ends up bonding with Sally too because of how accepting she was and her parents were never like that. i know this is super specific and you don’t have to do it, but i thought i would share in case you were willing to do it. 😊”

so yeah basically that’s the summary ^^ also this is kind of an AU because the timeline I’m using does not line up with the show at all lol.

Trigger Warnings for meltdowns, death, ableism and mentions of sally’s drug addiction

I myself am autistic (at least according to my therapist) and a lot of these reactions/experiences that the reader has related to her autism are my own or close to my own. Hopefully I do this request justice and do a good job and don’t oversimplify anything.

You ran through the hotel, searching for your parents, but they were nowhere in sight.

Breathe, you thought to yourself, don’t break down, they’re probably just out getting food or something and didn’t want you bothering them. You just have a couple hours of freedom, you can let yourself enjoy it.

You tried to enjoy the few hours you got to yourself without your parents. Without them mocking the way you talk or walk or move your hands, without them grabbing you with full knowledge of how uncomfortable it makes you. No cracks about how you had to leave college because you “can’t take care of yourself”.

The first words your dad said after you checked into the hotel were “God, it would be so much easier if we had a normal kid, wouldn’t it?”

As if you didn’t have feelings. As if you weren’t a human being who could fucking hear them.

It was 4pm. Your parents didn’t come back.

6pm. Nothing.

10. No sign of them. Neither one answering their phones. Maybe they’re finally abandoning you the way they’ve threatened to for ages.

Midnight. Still nothing.

2am and you started looking again. You couldn’t find anything.

What happened?

You started to panic and could feel a full-on meltdown coming on.

You tried to be still and silent, but it proved impossible. You began to cry and cry uncontrollably, rocking and hitting your head, unable to stop. You felt like your life was ending.

Two women showed up beside you. One was older and appeared to be the manager of the hotel, the other was a bit younger, with crimped blond hair and heavy makeup. You barely noticed either of them, however.

The older one touched your back and you screamed. You hated when people touched your back.

“Hey, do you want to take my hand, honey? It’ll be alright, I promise.” said the blonde woman. You obeyed her.

“Wh-Who are you? Where are my parents? Do you know?”

“Your parents... died. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. It was The Countess..” said the older woman.

You couldn’t speak, but you had about a billion questions for the two women. For example, Who the fuck is The Countess?

“You don’t need to speak. Just breathe, okay? In and out, good. Good girl. I’m Sally, by the way. This is Iris. You’re gonna be okay, I promise. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.”

You waved, not knowing what to do, completely overwhelmed.

“You know what, it’s late. I’m gonna take her back to my room and have her rest. We’ll deal with the rest of this shit tomorrow when she can talk and isn’t so clearly exhausted,” said Sally.

“I-I.....can..... talk. It’s...okay.” you said, each word making you more spaced out and tired.

“No. You’ve been through too much. I’m taking you up to my room and you’re gonna rest. You don’t have to speak or do anything you don’t want to do.”

You followed Sally, so scared and tired and in need of some damn sleep.

“You’re safe with me. I promise. Here’s, um, the bed. Get some sleep. I’ll be right here if you need anything. The Countess doesn’t want to hurt you either, I think she wanted to- it doesn’t matter now.”

“Who is... The C-Countess?”

“It’s a long story and you likely won’t believe me until you meet her. But it’s alright, you’re safe. I’ll protect you. Can I come over there and hold you?”

You nodded. Sally got on her bed next to you and put an arm around you. You winced as she touched your upper back.

“You don’t like when people touch you there, do you?”

You shook your head no, and she put your arms around your waist instead.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, I understand.”

Sally made you feel more comfortable speaking and you said,

“My parents didn’t understand that. They used to touch me there as much as they could, just to upset me. They laughed at me trying to keep my wet hair off my back when I took a shower. They thought it was funny.”

“What does that feel like to you?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t, like, hurt, but it’s terrible, it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.”

“Aw, honey...”

“It’s dumb, I’m sorry I’m so sensitive.”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize. You know, you remind me of my baby sister. I loved that girl so much when we were growin’ up. I practically raised her. So God only knows how she turned out as good as she did. Our parents were terrible, they were never there. She was the only one who stayed with me. Until she didn’t.”

“What happened to her?”

“It was all my fault, really. I put her in danger. I sold drugs in the 90s, and I started using when we were living together. She was in school, and I had to find her somewhere safer to live. So I did. She’s okay, very successful actually, and she’s still alive. I’m the one who died young. I miss her.”

“You... died? What? I’m sorry, you-”

“Yes. I’m a ghost, The Countess is a vampire, I think Iris might also be a vampire now too? I don’t know. I know you think I’m crazy now but trust me.”

Sally saw your look of disbelief, then held out her hand and said, “Watch.”

As she spoke her fingers began to disappear and reappear.

“What-”

“I’m a ghost. I can alter the way I’m seen by others, if I want to. I’m surprised other ghosts don’t do it more often really. One time I scared some kid by making all my teeth fall out. It was awesome. I didn’t wanna scare you though. I like you.”

“Thanks?”

“Sorry, I-”

“No, it’s- um, how did you die?”

“Iris fuckin’ pushed me out the window.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“What was your sister like?”

“She was the best. Sweet, talented, sensitive. But people didn’t understand her. I did, though. At least best I could. We only had each other. Our parents didn’t care, the kids at school bullied her relentlessly. I had to protect her. She sometimes had meltdowns like the one you had earlier too-”

“I’m sorry-”

“No! It’s not your fault! You were terrified. Anyone would be. It was pretty intense though, I was worried.”

“Was your sister autistic like me?”

“She was. We didn’t know for sure until after she stopped living with me, but we both kinda knew.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, it’s almost four in the morning, you really gotta get some sleep. Come here.”

You did, and you fell asleep in Sally’s arms.

When you woke up, Sally was still there, as well as another woman, blonde and glamorous. They were arguing.

“What do I do then if you don’t want me to turn her? Kill her-”

“Please don’t hurt her, I can- she-”

Sally noticed you were awake, and saw your scared face.

“It’s okay, no one’s gonna hurt you. I’ll protect you.”

The blonde woman who you assumed was The Countess approached you.

“Do you have anywhere to go?”

You shook your head no. Sally spoke up for you, intuiting that you must be stressed.

“She can stay with me. I’ll make sure she’s safe. She won’t bother you or anything. She’s sweet and quiet and-”

“Sally, it’s okay. You want her, you keep her.” said The Countess.

“Alright. Thanks. Can you get out of my room now? You’re freaking her out.”

She left without saying a word.

“I’m sorry about that, (y/n). You’re safe here. You can stay as long as you need to. I’ll be here. This is a dangerous place but I’ll make sure you’re safe, alright?”

“Okay.”

You still felt sad. Not about staying with Sally, you liked her, but about the way The Countess talked about you. The way your parents talked about you.

“Hey. I just want you to know that I don’t see you as some kind of pet or anything. I know that’s what you’re thinking, that’s how people treated my sister sometimes too. It was awful. No, I just want- I just want you to be okay. I want someone to spend time with. it’s awful lonely being a ghost, but I thought maybe if-”

“I understand, Sally. I like you a lot, and I want to stay here. It’s just sad the way most people see me.”

“It isn’t your fault, you know. I need you to know that.”

“I do. You make it easier to feel okay because you’re so nice to me.”

“I’m glad. You deserve to feel good all the time.”

You started to tear up a bit. No one had ever said that to you before. You were always expected to make yourself uncomfortable, speak when you didn’t want to, shut up when you wanted to talk, wear clothes that pinched, let people touch you when it made your skin crawl, and you were still made fun of because still, somehow, none of it was enough. But with Sally you didn’t have to do any of that, and yet you still felt loved by her in a way that you never have been before.

“Aw, hey, don’t cry. You’ll be okay. I’m gonna make sure of it. I can’t actually leave the hotel, but I can make sure you get everything you need. Are you a picky eater by any chance?”

“A little bit, but not as much as I used to be.”

“Alright. And you’re good on clothes?”

“I think so.”

“Good. I’ve gotta say, I’m excited. It’s been so long since I’ve felt a real connection to anyone here.”

“You really feel a connection with me?”

“Yes, honey, I do. Do you.... feel the same way?” Sally asked you. She said it as if she was worried you may say no.

“I do, Sally. I really do. I know how it feels to be lonely like you are. It’s how I’ve felt my whole life. Maybe... I...”

“Maybe you’ll learn to love it here. Once you’re comfortable I’ll introduce you to the other ghosts. They’re annoying, but we’re still a family or whatever it is they call it. They’ll like you. I promise.”

You spent the rest of the day in Sally’s room with her, barely talking, not really even needing to talk. She was the one who broke the silence by telling you

“I like this. Just being here.”

“Me too.”

“I want to kiss you. Can I?”

“Yes.”

You had never been kissed before, but you let Sally be your first. You felt so... loved by her as she kissed you and held you lightly by your waist.

You stayed in the hotel with Sally, and it quickly felt more like home than anywhere else you’ve ever lived. You became a part of the family, and you and Sally fell deeper in love. Sally protected you, knowing the dangers of the hotel, and made sure you felt okay. Your meltdowns became far less frequent as you were no longer being forced to be someone you weren’t.

#my fics

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agentsofmarvel · 3 years

Text

my random kingdom keepers hc’s

⚠️ maybe spoilers & some may not be cannon ⚠️

finn

* his mom taught him to cook, so now he makes full course meals for the group.

* wanted to do the matching group outfits at disney but everyone else (except for willa) said no. he managed to convince amanda to do matching couples outfits for a date once.

* sits in his room and blasts music rlly loud when he’s upset. the music is one direction or taylor swift.

* is going to university of central floridia with a major in hospitality management or business.

* the embarrassing boyfriend (and friend) that will go to any event and scream and yell. like amanda could be presenting something and here comes finn: “THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!!” and tbh willa would join him.

* usually just wears a t-shirt and jeans, but when he needs to dress up, he will 110%. he’s the one the girls call when they need outfit advice.

amanda

* she was the one who chose eli’s name (kingdom kids!). she also let finn try to choose his middle name but he got stuck between wayne or dillard for weeks.

* kind of a beachy outfit/vibe. i feel like she wears a lot of hoodies with shorts and flip flops.

* likes to wear her hair in all different styles. one day it would be normal, then braids, then space buns, then it’s suddenly curly??

* usually tries to keep her emotions pretty chill, but if you try and bully her friends, she will loose it. try flirting with finn and see what happens.

* tried getting a tattoo of one of jess’ drawings once, but the thought of the needle made her turn right around.

* if she doesn’t want to be bothered, she just flips you off. deep into a book? middle finger. concentrating on schoolwork? there it is.

jess

* has a gc with maybeck called “art hoes” where they talk about drawing, sculpting, etc.

* the type of aunt that gets her nieces/nephews/other really weird and kind of dangerous gifts. like: “where did you get that?!” “oh, from aunt jess.” “of course you did.”

* got a pair of doc martens as a gift and wore them to disney for an entire day for “the aesthetic” even though she complained about her feet hurting the entire time.

* also the type to wear long-sleeves and turtlenecks under shirts in 100° weather.

* probably did the kool-aid hair dye trend in middle school and kinda regretted it.

* every time she would walk into a room someone would blast the “that’s so raven” theme song on repeat.

charlene

* tries to volunteer every weekend either at crazy glaze to spend time with maybeck or coaching a little kid’s cheer squad.

* has an amazingly good memory for really random things. like, “you can’t wear that, you wore it to disney springs last time we went.” “that was three months ago how???”

* i feel like she’s a really good baker. brownies, cakes, you name it. she leaves the cookie baking to mrs. whitman though.

* also a really good listener. would 10/10 be the group’s therapist. whatever time of day (and night) you need to talk or vent, she will pick up the phone immediately.

* maybeck sculpted her a vase with cinderella castle and fireworks on it years ago and she adores it to this day. it sits on her nightstand and is slightly faded but she doesn’t care.

* buys her friends cute things that remind her of them. she’s bought willa, jess, amanda, and herself matching necklaces and bought the boys disney pins with mickey, donald, and goofy on them.

maybeck

* had professional headshots done just because. “maybeck where are you we have an OT problem!” and he’s like, “one sec, getting my headshots done and i’ll meet you there” and they’re all “????”

* you have to drag him to go clothes shopping but then he never wants to leave and does a fashion show with each and every item he bought.

* somehow looks good in every picture? it could be blurry, from a terrible angle, and everyone else looks rlly bad, but then there’s maybeck.

* loves meeting characters. he will flip if he sees a character he really loves. “IS THAT REMY THE ***** RAT! CHARLENE WE NEED TO TAKE A PICTURE!”

* one of those people that says “me” in deep voice to everything. sees a kid trip and fall onto the ground “ME” “maybeck stop”.

* has picked up a few gymnastics tricks from charlene and will do them randomly. like, *backflips away from OT* “when did he learn that???”

willa

* 90% of her clothes are button down shirts with college pull overs and converse. she doesn’t care how warm it is.

* somehow always has a book on her. they could be in line at a park and she just pulls a book out of thin air and starts reading.

* had a harry potter phase growing up that everyone joked about. “willa you can’t that’s UNIVERSAL! you dare betray walt disney like this?!”

* for one of their anniversaries, philby buys her a new bear, this time a duffy bear, to replace mr. totems and she almost cries. every anniversary one of his gifts is a new outfit for duffy.

* goes to university of florida with philby. she’s an english language and literature major and loves going on study dates.

philby

* studying computer science at the university of florida.

* wears flannels, hoodies, or t-shirts that have really bad science-themed puns on them everyone loathes (which is mostly why he wears it).

* wants to adopt or foster tons of cats when he’s older. he was so upset he couldn’t take elvis to college.

* either listens to disney music or 80s/90s hits. there is no in-between.

* the designated bag holder while in the parks. he always has everything you could possibly need. sunscreen, bandaids, mints, hairbrushes, pencil and paper (if jess has a dream), snacks of all sizes, he’s got it all.

* super bad dancer and loves to embarrass willa. prom was just philby dancing in the middle of the dance floor terribly while willa watched shaking her head.

#kingdom keepers #kk #finn whitman #finn x amanda #amanda lockhart #jess lockhart #terry maybeck #maybeck #charlene turner #willa angelo #dell philby #disney kingdom keepers #ridley pearson

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not-close-to-straight · 4 years

Text

100% Professional (Six)

MASTERLIST

*******************

“So what, he flaked out on your date?” Gwen took a loud swallow from her over sized coffee thermos and smacked her lips. “Why are you so bent out of shape, you’ve never had someone cancel a date before?”

“No.” Peter said shortly. “I’ve never had someone cancel a date before. People like dating me, they always show up.”

“Mmm. Bite me.” Gwen retorted. “Well, welcome to the club of rejection, it happens to all of us, even blonde haired stunners like myself.”

“Your hair is pink right now.” Peter pointed out and Gwen replied, “Which is the only reason why my own date got canceled last week.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t because you showed up with a stack of flyers to hand out about the evils of Hammer Tech?”

“I might have come on a little strong.” the pretty girl agreed. “I suppose protesting mega corporations isn’t everybody’s idea of a good time.”

“No, probably not.” Peter slumped into his chair and propped his feet up onto the table. “What am I going to do, Gwen?”

“Oh my god, you’re really upset about this!” Gwen’s eyes widened in surprise. “Pete! I thought you were just cranky cos you didn’t get laid! You really like this guy, don’t you?”

“I told you that.”

“Well yeah, but you like everyone.” she said flatly. “Plus, he’s a client so when you said you liked him and that his muscles made you cream a little---”

“GWEN!”

“--I assumed you were just talking from a professionally horny standpoint, not from a real interest standpoint!” she cried. “I mean, damn Pete! You can’t date clients! If word gets out that you’re that kinda massage therapist, I dunno if you’ll lose your current clients or gain a whole bunch of very sketchy new ones, but either way? You definitely crossed a line.”

“I know.” he muttered. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“I’m pretty sure you could have helped yourself.” She countered. “All you had to do was be professional, Pete. Work with the guy, take his money and leave again. How difficult is that? You could have definitely not tried to get in his pants.”

“Gwen--”

“No, listen.” Gwen put her coffee down and pinned Peter with a look. “I heard what you said before about how you didn’t expect the attraction and how it’s so easy to be with him and how you guys sorta fell into each other and how you text all the time and he makes you laugh and all that. But tell me something. Have you stopped and thought for one second how hard this is on him?”

“I--”

“You tell me how easy it is for you and that’s why you want to pursue it.” She interrupted. “But your shocking lack of professionalism aside, have you even considered how difficult this is for Wade. Just once?”

“Um.” Peter hesitated. “...no? He said he felt it too so I thought it was okay.”

“You told me Wade has to live up high because traffic noise gives him panic attacks.” Gwen recounted and Peter’s face fell. “That he had to get raging drunk just to get through the first massage and then had an actual breakdown when you gave him that weighted blanket. Does that sound like a person who could dress up and stroll downtown for a date with you? Just because Wade's comfortable in his own space and over text messages doesn’t mean he can do it all outside, you know.”

“I didn’t think about that.”

“For all you know, he’s NOT comfortable in his own space.” she continued. “He could be pretending so it’s not weird for you. Do you know what he does right after you leave? Does he have to take a shower, have to meditate or medicate? Is he basically paralyzed for a few hours until his anxiety settles down?”

“...things are tough with Flash.” Peter realized. “That’s why you’re so in tune to everything right now.”

Gwen nodded miserably, her jaw clenching, and Peter whispered, “I should stop by and see him.”

“Flash doesn’t want you to stop by and see him.” She denied. “He doesn't even want me to come by. My fiancee came home from over deployment and can’t even be in the same room as me most days because I remind him of how good things used to be and how different it all is now. Remember how we were going to get married when he came home? The first time I tried to kiss him hello, Flash panicked and didn’t come out of his room for like, three days.”

“I remember.” Peter’s lips pulled down into a frown. Flash had been so hoo-rah about going and being a hero and now he was nothing like he’d used to be, shutting out the love of his life Gwen, his oldest friends Harry and MJ and even Peter, who had been his roommate through all four years of boarding school and their first year of college. “I-- I remember.”

“So you know what I did?” Gwen shrugged as if it still didn’t break her heart. “I decided to be Flash's friend because that's the only way I’m able to be part of his life. I try to take on disgusting billionaires, try to date to fend off the loneliness but end up scaring them away because let’s face it, I’m intense, and then I spend as much time with Flash as I can. Sometimes that means we talk, sometimes that means I sit clear on the other side of the couch and watch him watch a movie. I'm his friend."

“You’re trying to tell me I need to be content with being Wade’s friend." Peter blew out a deep breath. "Like if I want to stay a part of his life, I have to respect the boundaries he has, even if they are boundaries that seem like they come out of no where."

“Don’t make everything about you, Pete, I’m trying to tell you that if I don’t get laid soon I’ll actually die.” Gwen retorted and smacked Peter’s feet off the table. “But also yeah, if you want to be around Wade, you’re going to have to settle for friends. Obviously you both thought Wade was ready for more, and obviously he isn't. Back off, bud. Be his friend or leave him alone. Quit complaining about your hurt feelings and try to realize Wade probably hates himself right now for what he considers a failure. Not going on a date with you? He probably thinks its a failure. Stop bitching and have some compassion.”

“I hate your advice.” Peter reached over and took Gwen’s hand, smiling when she squeezed at it. “But I'm pretty sure I needed to hear it, so thank you. And I’m sorry about Flash. I’m sorry that the reason you know all this is cos you’re living through it.”

“I'm sorry about Flash too.” Gwen cleared her throat and blinked away a few tears. “And this therapy session will cost you one bagel and another cup of coffee, so get to it. I don’t hand out all this advice for free, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Peter pulled out his wallet and headed towards the front of the coffee shop. “Love you, Gwen.”

“Yeah.” she said absentmindedly, going right back to her book. “I'm real swell."

***************

Benefits of group therapy. Wade typed into the search bar on his computer. Local group therapy for veterans. How long until therapy starts working? How long after trauma is therapy useless?

He took a gulp of a drink that was way more whiskey than it was Coke and searched, What qualifies as trauma? How long will I have panic attacks?

And then with his breath catching and vision blurring with tears: How long before I feel normal again? Do people with PTSD ever date again?

His phone buzzed and Wade picked it up without thinking, swiped the screen without looking, sure it was going to be a reminder of meds or a confirmation text from tomorrow’s physical therapy appointment.

From Peter: I’m not going anywhere, Wade. I’m not going to bother you, but if you need me, I’m here and if you want to talk or need some of my Grade A humour to distract you for a minute, I’m here for that too.

From Peter: I’ll let you make the first move though, I don’t want to intrude or push like… boundaries? I don’t expect anything from you, but know that I’ll be happy to hear from you all the same.

Wade blinked down at the message, then up at the current screen on his computer, scrolling down until he found an article he’d only skimmed earlier: How to be there for someone with PTSD. Tip one was to reassure the person that you were there but didn’t expect anything, that you would respect their boundaries and needs but also would grant them their distance.

Peter had obviously read a similar article or pamphlet and even though the text read a little stiff, it was clear Peter was trying and it made Wade’s heart hurt in a very real way that even after everything, Peter was still trying.

He didn’t text Peter back though.

Instead Wade put his phone away and went back to looking up group therapy locations and reading anonymous reviews about different therapists.

He’d gone to therapy after his injury, he’d even gone to a psychiatrist, he’d gone to a hypnotist for the nightmares and about every other ‘-ist’ out there but it apparently wasn’t working, he apparently needed something more because living like this wasn’t working anymore.

There was a group specifically for injured veterans, former soldiers whose entire lives had been changed by a moment overseas, and Wade clicked through that website to until he found a time and a location and the suggestion that he “click the attending box partly so Sam knows how many cupcakes to bring, partly to set it as a personal goal for yourself!”

“I’m doing this for the cupcakes.” Wade muttered as he checked the box. “Only for the cupcakes.”

….and with one more glance at his phone, “And maybe for Pete.”

*******************

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE CHAPTER!

*******************

@ships-galore @ceealaina @izziebladez @cwar1864 @hausoffro @tonystarkisanangel @multishippinglife @girlnic @iam93percentstardust @paranormalmoonlight5 @igotloki @moosette05 @wayward-student-philosopher @kaz-brekkers-gloves @atomicfandombomb @1fuckingshitup69 @agentlokii @livewire28 @tulipsnbigcats @kimstark @alex-stark-rogers @bibbarnes @heeeyitskay @goindownshipping @quietgayguy @nanita90a @justaniche

@chiby-chan @thanossucks @i-am-worth-it-25 @dan4thefam

#ncts fics #spideypool

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justimagaine · 4 years

Text

“Melancholy” Series Part 5 - I Need Help / Chris Evans

Part 1 - “Oh, fuck them” ; Part 2 - “I’m here” ; Part 3 “Just Try” ; Part 4 “I Support You”

Chris had done exactly what he had promised. He found you a very good doctor, the best there was. He set up the appointment for you, but unfortunately it wasn’t the next day he called or even in a week. The next open apartment was after a month. Chris offered to find someone else you could talk to until the set up appointment, but you didn’t want that. You knew how hard it will be to talk to someone about your problems, to even start to tell a stranger your dark thoughts, but to do it again after a while, trying to open up to another person would be hard, so you said you’d wait till your appointment. In the mean time Chris became the person who you talked to or reached out to when some bad thoughts came back. He’d usually call and text you first thing in the morning, wishing you a good day and telling you to call him if anything happens. If the day went on and you didn’t call, he’d call you to make sure you were okay.

He had his phone by him all the time, no matter where he went, who he was with, his phone was by his side and on full volume. If he saw you were calling he picked up without hesitation. You still were unsure about telling other people that you were seeing help for your mental health, Chris respected that and told no one, not even the people you both were friends with, not even his family, especially his moms. You had become very important to Lisa, she loved having you around and always asked Chris to bring you over when they were having a family event or just dinner. You’d spend a lot of time with Lisa, ether helping her cook or just talk about life. Sometimes Chris would catch himself standing in the doorway looking at you two and smiling, he loved how close you were to his mom, family was very important to him so seeing the bond you had with his mom and even his siblings made him feel all kinds of ways.

After you spent the weekend with Chris, it was hard and scary to get back to work and your own place. But you kept a positive mind, reminding yourself how far you’ve come and that soon you’d be talking to a professional that will help you and that you had Chris to support you and talk to. Every time you thought about calling Chris, especially after a bad day a work, you texted him first asking if he was busy, Chris didn’t text back, he called and then you’d spend hours talking. About your day and about his. You always made sure to ask him how he was, and even called him out on lying, telling him that he wasn’t the only one who could tell when the other person was keeping something back, with a chuckle he then would tell you the truth. Chris and you talked and saw each other more then you saw some of your family members, but nether one of you minded. The weekends you’d spent doing some adventures and when you’d tell him you weren’t up to do anything, he’d show up at your place with food, Dodger and a big hug ready for you. He wasn’t going to let you slip back in the deep dark, and you did the same for Chris.

He had been taking care of you so much that he’d forget about himself. You caught him having an panic attack, so you helped him through it and now you were the one holding him, supporting him. Chris reassured you the panic had nothing to do with you or how he was taking care of you, Chris said it was work but still in the back of your head you thought it was your fault. As time was moving forward you felt that you and Chris had really become better friends, much closer. Some times you even looked like a couple, the way you slept on his chest when watching a movie, cooking together. Sometimes you’d catch him looking at you with a new look in his eyes, but never said anything, not wanting to ruin the moment, you’d just smile back at him. But no matter how happy you sometimes felt you’d wake up with sadness on your mind and heavy heart. You’d spent the previous day laughing and having the time of your life but the next you were sad and wanted to nothing, but sleep. Even started to think maybe you shouldn’t go to the doctor, maybe she couldn’t help you, maybe you’d talk to her and she’d tell you, you were a useless case and incurable. That you had no chance in this world. The wrong thing you did was not tell Chris about those thoughts.

He had set up the appointment, called so many people and found someone for you after you asked and having thoughts like that made you feel embarrassed and scared. Scared he’d be mad, you even once woke up from a nightmare, where you finally told Chris what you were thinking and he started yelling, telling you how you were so upsetting and ungrateful. Saying he had spent so much time trying to help you and that you were just a waste of time. Seeing and hearing all that made you wake up all sweaty, out of breath and in tears. You knew it was just a bad dream, but still it felt so real to you. Chris had noticed that something had change din you, and no for the better, he hoped the time would go by faster and your appointment was here already.

The time did pass and it was time to see the therapist. When you woke up that morning and realized you really were doing it, there was such painful panic in you, so much fear. Looking at your phone you saw a text from Chris, saying what time he was going to pick you up. Now you panicked even more, he was going to spend his free day taking care of you once again. He didn’t deserve that, you quickly took your phone texting him back that it was okay and he didn’t have to take you, you joked that you were a big girl and had to do it on your own. When he got it, he knew something was wrong, so he called you, but on the other end of the call he was making you sat in your bed, looked at the phone as his picture showed up and cried. You wanted to disappear, to run away, but you couldn’t move, you started to feel like you were giving up, you kept looking at that ringing phone and said

“Stop, please stop. Let me give up, let me just let go” with every passing moment you didn’t pick up his calls, Chris got very alarmed. This was what he feared, that the day would come and you’d change your mind, you’d get so scared you’d lock him out. Chris kept calling you as he ran to his car and drove to your apartment. Chris kept honking at every car that drove too slow for him

“Move” he yelled at the cars as his phone kept trying to reach you, he kept imagining the worst “Please, please hold on. Just please” he was begging out loud, begging to you, begging for God to keep you there, to give him time to get to you. His heart was beating faster then it had ever, when he got to your apartment building. He jumped out of his car not even sure if he locked it, but he didn’t care. You could take his car if you wanted, he needed you more then a stupid car. Chris decided to take the stares, jumping over steps, he ran up to your floor, arm already reached out ready to bang on your door. He bang so loud he was sure your neighbors were going to come look what was going on be Chris didn’t care, he yelled your name, banged the door. There was no answer and that scared him like hell, it was more then early for your appointment, so he knew you should be home, you should be opening this door, he should be hugging you hello, but instead he’s banging on your door, and screaming your name, Chris was about to knock the door down, when he heard an elderly women speak up

“Son, what are you doing?” Chris looked to his side asking

“Have you seen her today? Did she leave?” the elderly women shook hear head, making Chris panic even more, he was about to hit the door again

“I have the key” she said going back in her apartment then returning showing it to him. Chris stepped back waiting for her to open the door, but she seamed unsure. She had every right, when a grown man coms running in the building and banging on her young neighbors, screaming like a crazy person

“Please,” he begged as his voice cracked, as he as already was close to crying “I need to make sure she’s okay. Please” Chris was desperate and scared out of his mind and she saw that, Quickly went up to the door and opened it, Chris ran past the lady as she walked in looking around. He yelled out your name once again, waited and got no answer, now even more afraid, he ran to your bedroom. Chris saw your unmade bed and phone on it, but no you. His hands were shaking, as he scanned the room for some sign of you. His eyes finally landed on the light coming from the bathroom, with two long strides he walked up to it and swung it open, and his body overflow with so many emotions. There you sat on the cold bathroom floor, hugging you knees, crying Chris was happy to see you , but then he was terrified he didn’t know how bad it was, what you done. Chris ran up to you, placing his hands you shoulder, calling your name and shaking you un till you looked up at him. His heart broke seeing how red your eyes were, how truly broken you were

“I need help” you said with more tears running down your cheeks

“Did you?” he was having trouble even finishing his sentence with his own tears coming and fear, you shook your head no, making him sigh in relief. He pulled you in his arms when he sat down next to you on the bathroom floor, Chris cried with you. He was so scared, never knew he could be this terrified. But he also was so relived and happy you were still here, in his arms. Chris helped you to your room and you two talked, you told him about the bad dream you had, about how scared you truly are to talk to a stranger about your life and mind. You told him you were scared about what she might say to you or what she would be thinking about you while you talked. You feared that there also was a possibility you wouldn’t be able to open up to her, to tell her the whole truth every bit of your dark thoughts.

“Sweetheart, this is your first time seeing her. She won’t ask you your deepest darkest secrets, you’ll get there when you get there” Chris spoke calmly rubbing your back “she wants to get to know you, see where you need to start, see how often you two need to see each other. Imagine it being like a first day in school where you get to know each other” you looked up at him

“I hated my first day of school” you said making him chuckle

“I know me too, but it’s going to be okay and hey if something happened in there that you’re not comfortable with, you have every right to say that or even leave and Ill be on the other side of the door, ready to hug you if you need” Chris knew very well how much you loved his hugs, so knowing he’d really be there calmed you down.

“I’m sorry you’re wasting your day away helping me” you said as you nervously played with your fingers, he stopped you placing his hand on yours “Don’t say that. I offered and I don’t see doing anything else today other then being there for you” you two just looked at each other, he truly made you feel safe. No matter what was happening he could find the right words to reassure you that everything would be just fine.

Still scared out of your mind Chris drove you to your appointment. You walked in with Chris by your side, sat down and waited when you’d be called in. Chris kept whispering to you how you’d be okay and that he’s proud of you. Chris kept saying I’ll be here, I won’t go anywhere. All those things really helped, he calmed you. Soon you were called in. Slowly you walked to the open door, stopped and looked back at Chris, he was standing and smiling at you

“it’s okay” he whispered and so you walked into the bright room to be greeted with a very lovely smiling women. You were scared but also ready to do this, you had people supporting you, but most of all you had to finally take care of yourself. You weren’t going to keep hurting yourself and other, other that cared about you. For example Chris, who was sitting behind that closed door, thanking God he made it in time to you, and praying that you’ll be okay. Chris knew you were stronger then you thought you were. He also knew he was unbelievably, truly and deeply in love with you and he wasn’t going to lose you. Not like this, not when there was something he could do.

---

Tag: @chris-butt ; @denisemarieangelina ; @jennmurawski13 ; @chriscaprogers ; @raabrakha ; @captainchrisstan ;

#Chris Evans #Chris Evans Imagine #Chris Evans x Reader #Chris Evans Series #x reader #Imagine #Story

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p1nkwitch · 3 years

Text

Ok, i did not forget tmastuck is still alive, i just had lots of other ideas, but.

Here we go again. 3 conversations.

@nonbinaryeye

SINNAMONROLL started pestering BEATINGHEART

SR: How long Jonah?

BH: As long as it takes to reach the new session, then I can just leave if my presence is so annoying to you.

SR: Not what I mean and you know it. They are both looking for you. There are just so many times I can lie to their faces. So many times Kitty kat has to lie to her humans, she is sad Jonah.

BH: Do not put our child into this.

SR:...

BH:Ughhhh stupid cat brain.

SR: Still its actually bothering them.

BH: Oh and what should I do, let them find me? How do you think that would end? Hm? I basically took away their powers Barnabas, I let the institute- my institute get destroyed. There is no coming back from that.

BH: Then there is the whole other thing about not actually being anything that a copy!! What do I do with that?

SR: Look, I'm a copy too! I'm not the Barnabas Bennet that was, but I have his memories still. So what? I like this new life. This new chance!! You can have that too Jonah.

BH: We could…

SR: Oh Jonah we both know that it wouldn't work, we already tried and it fell apart. Its not me that you want anymore and I'm… more happy with just being friends this time around. It was stupid of us to even try again, i knew it, but i was just… lonely, heh. Neither is what the other wants. Not anymore.

BH: Maybe if we work on it! I could... try to change.

SR: No, no you won't, and honestly ? I don't want you to. Mistakes happen, otherwise we wouldn't keep falling into each other.

BH: Not all of it was a mistake, it couldn't have been!

SR: … Maybe, maybe not before, I will admit that, but you want more than I can give. That's not bad, it just means I'm not the one you should be getting it from. We worked before, but you have more memories of a life without me and you aren't the same person I loved then.

BH: If i'm not that, and i'm not Jonah, then who the hell am i?

SR: Well, that is really up to you I suppose. To figure it out. I… will keep them away still for a little bit more. But Jonah, I can't keep doing this forever. We are barely halfway through on the trip.

BH: So? Have you seen them, i- they are in love. God why would- i dont even know what else to say.

SR: Try, speak with them, figure out something. You are clever. I need to go, I'm supposed to play cards with Martin. Its funny, he reminds me of Jonathan…

BH: Im sorry.

SR: I know, but its not enough.

SR: Talk to you later ok?

BH: Sure.

SINNAMONROLL ceased pestering BEATINGHEART

BH: …

BEATINGHEART started pestering SPOOKYARCHIVE

BH: How are you holding on?

SA: … Not sure. Its weird.

BH: Breakups are always messy affairs.

SA: You would know wouldn't you?

BH: Rude, do you want me to leave Jon? Because I can. I'm fairly sure i'm the only one you are even talking with at this point.

SA: Not true, I speak with Daisy.

BH: Aha, how does that go for you?

SA: … Its ok, she tries to cheer me up and its… nice, but sometimes she insists on me to stop moping and well.

BH: Tiresome?

SA: Yes, so much. The other just don't want me near, and its- i dont even have my powers anymore, i thought- well i assumed that perhaps like this it would be better, but its like someone cut off something from me.

SA: Georgie tries, but if I mention anything regarding my powers she becomes upset. Melanie is… herself, that bridge got burned a long time ago. Basira.

BH: Ah the detective, she is… impassive i have come to understand.

SA: Yes, and it's confusing, because sometimes we can get along but others I just seem like the enemy. I'm starting to realize that perhaps it was always like that.

BH: Mm, how does that make you feel regarding what happened with Martin.

SA: I- god i was so stupid, i thought we could just be better now that i was cut off, that we could be together but it became obvious that we had two different views of things and it was always grating, I could overlook it, but Martin did not. And it- its not a break up just some time to think.

BH: Jon.

SA: Hahahaha, it's actually funny i think, that's exactly what Georgie told me before breaking up with me.

BH: I do not think its funny Jon.

SA: Well what else am I supposed to take from it???

SA: That I'm terrible at keeping things? That the people around me dont care?

BH: Purrhaps, you confuse coworkers with friends, Jon. Have… Do you have a good frame of reference? To know what is normal or not? I'm trying my best to not sound pushy since you established that does not help you. So think of this as your homework of sorts.

BH: Try and think of behaviour that points to them being friends or coworkers. Hell just go with trauma victims if it makes you feel any better, take that. Make a list and tell me the results.

BH: As for Martin, as you said I don't have the track record to help. Asking Elias… well he has Peter. So maybe that is more helpfur to you. But I doubt it. Listen, divorce your feelings on the matter and think objectively.

BH: Imagine…. imagine someone else, literally anyone you know and try to put them in your place. Would you accept them to be treated like that? Do you think its normal?

SA: I… don't, I really don't. God i'm a mess.

BH: You are something of a mess, but the blame is not on you completely. That others see you as an easy target for their own insecurities doesn't make you the one to blame. Now, you did make mistakes from what we talked about, and we addressed that and their consequences on your relationships before, like with Tim. But, clearly there are also things they are not dealing with either and they use you as a scapegoat.

SA: Don't try to put them against me.

BH: Oh Jon, the sad thing is, I don't have to.

SA: I… will try to speak with Martin again later.

BH: Ok. Good luck, do try to do what I asked you, ok?

SA: Yes… yes, sure. Thank you Jonah.

BH: You are welcome.

SA: … Will you speak with them?

BH: I can't. Goodbye.

BEATINGHEART ceased pestering SPOOKYARCHIVE

WEBDESIGNER started pestering BEATINGHEART

WD: ::::)

BH: What do you want Annabelle?

WD: Can a friend not say hello?

BH: Considering we are not friends and you weren't supposed to make it here, I hardly doubt it.

WD: Oh buuu you sad, sad man.

WD: Anyways, I saw those two moving around trying to find you, very sad. Peter was looking grumpy. Elias was very annoyed. Do you want a picture?

BH: Why are you bothering me with this??

WD: … Its… the first time in years that I don't have the web controlling my actions. I always liked to play matchmaker, before my change.

WD: Its refreshing to be able to say what I mean without pain or speaking in riddles. The trip gets boring otherwise. I have been pestering Martin, but he is stubborn. Plus poor sad Jon.

BH: Leave him alone please, he is already messed up enough as it stands and im playing therapist for free. No need to add more trauma.

WD: That you caused him, or the other you caused him. Its perhaps a very interesting thing that he chose the version of you that did not harm him to be his confidant don't you think? There is something there to be said, even psychoanalyzed.

BH: Annabelle the point.

WD: Right pictures.

WD: sent (picture)

BH:... Annabelle, they are just making out??!!? How did you-??

WD: I have secrets. Have some more.

WD: ATTACHED (PICTURES1,2,3,4)

WD:??? Are you ok? Its been 20 minutes??

WD: Did I kill you? They didn't even get to lose more than the shirts calm down, I was sure you got into more freaky stuff in your years.

BH: How??

WD: Do you want me to get more?

BH: No!!

WD: Are you sure? Trip is long… maybe you need something to keep you… mmm interested?

BH: I will leave.

WD: Sure, sure. Offer always stands. Anyways. I will just say, because i'm fully capable of it now. They very much want you in there too. Its very weird, but considering the things i have seen and done for the web its the least concerning thing.

WD: So stop hiding and go get your throupe you coward.

BH: ANNABELLE!!

WD: ;;;;)

WEBDESIGNER ceased pestering BEATINGHEART

#tmastuck #magnustuck #jonahsprite #barnabassprite #Yes i did what i did #Jon deserves better #there is a goth in the future for him

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91percentpynch · 3 years

Text

jean moreau + dogs

i‘m combining my two favourite things like ever: jean „the loml“ moreau and d o g s,,, it‘s a mess and kinda long but this made me so emotional and happy

jean gets his first dog when he‘s at the trojans. as he can never be alone and has a lot of issues for obvious reasons his therapist said he should get a dog for emotional support

it‘s a dachshund, her name is chérie which means darling in french

jeremy is quite jealous cause he wants jean to call him that (but that‘s a different post)

okay so jean takes chéreie everywhere - classes, training, nights out with the team

chérie brings back exy balls, jean‘s new favouirte hobby is playing exy with her

jean talks to her when he‘s upset/ sad/ lonely

he will just sit on the floor, softly stroking her, tears running down his cheeks and tell her what bothers him

„chérie, you‘re my only friend. i love you. i just wish someone would hug me and hold my hand. but i don‘t need these assholes, i got you right?“, he mumbles in french, his voice soft, sometimes through a sob. chérie will lick his tears off his hands. jeremy watches from the kitchen and his heart b r e a k s

so with chérie he is doing way better, he makes friends, he opens up, she helps him with his trauma and anxiety and his countless issues

the second dog is his graduation gift from kevin. it‘s an irish red setter. he calls him flamme (which is fire in french)

chérie and flamme are the most important things in his life - besides perhaps his boyfriend jeremy knox

he takes his pups everywhere and every morning he takes them on his morning run with jeremy, each of them holding a dog, soft laughter in the early morning hours and it‘s the happiest moment in jean‘s day

flamme always sleeps on jean‘s torso, he just jumps on the bed and sleeps on his human. chérie sleeps on his feet, as she did since he got her. jeremy just wants to cuddle his boyfriend but the dogs said no and he can‘t hide but smile everytime he sees it. his lockscreen is jean sleeping with the two dogs on him, a soft smile on his lips, hair messy, scarred hands on the dogs

the third dog comes quite shortly after flamme. it‘s a tiny black and white shi tzu. she might look innocent but she‘s like a little tornado, licking everyone‘s feet and hiding under furniture because she is just a tiny little bit scared of this gigantic human and the other dude who comes and goes at what seems random times

jeremy goes pro, jean doesn‘t but that‘s again another post

so jean just sits on the floor for h ou r s calling the tiny dog and he remembers the days in evermore and he u n d e r s t a n d s the tiny little girl

so he calls her lune cause that‘s what jeremy calls him and it makes him think of how strong he is and he get e m o t i o n a l

anygays so he sits at the floor for h o u r s for like three weeks and lune got more and more couragous and eventually she comes out of whatever furniture she would hide under and carefully come to him and he pets her and she lays on her back so he can scratch her tiny little stomach and he does and flamme and chérie come and he‘s surrounded by dogs who lick his face and arms and legs and he gives them so much love and just pets them and they‘re all so in love and he just talks to them

so when jeremy came back that day lune was about to run away but jeremy talked to her in french, very softly and she slowly came back to him and sat next to him and jean told jeremy to carefully come to him and sit down and let her smell his hand and then stroke her and he did and lune stopped being scared

„she reminds me of you mi amor“, jeremy says softly to jean. „that‘s what i thought. that‘s why i called her lune. you used to call me that and it made me feel as if i made it“

jerejean weren‘t lunes‘ first humans, she was with another man before and he used to hit her. that‘s why she hides when your hand comes from a certain angle (my dog does that, lune is basically my dog)

she never loses that habit, even though she knows nothing will happen to her with jerejean and the other dogs

so chérie adopts lune and she‘s really protective of her and so is flamme. on their morning runs jean would hold lune and chérie and jermey would run with flamme, which is funny cuz just imagine 6“5 jean moreau with these tiny little dogs and his boyfriend (5“3 in my head) with this big ass dog and i‘m getting too emotionally attached to that now

so to jean and jeremy‘s one/ two year annivarsary jeremy comes back home form training with this gigantic puppy. and jean looks at him with heart eyes.

„you got another dog?“ jean would say with so much love in his voice.

„look i know they make you happy and i love your smile more than anything and i thought ‚why don‘t we ge the most beautiful man in the entire universe a dog for our anniverssary‘ and just got him. well actually getting him took m o n t h s did you know you have interviews for puppies? apparently this dude here is a very special little snowflake. anyways it‘s an irish wolfhound and those dogs are gigantic, i think they‘re getting 3 feet high? okay i‘m talking too much i‘m sorry i hope you like him because i kind can‘t bring him back“, jeremy started to scratch the back of his head somewhere in the middle of his rant

„i love him, almost as much as i love you“ jean got on his feet and he runs to his boyfriend and he bends down and kisses him and then he takes the dog from him and lune follows him every step he takes and behind her are flamme and chérie and it just makes jeremy feel so much love and happiness

„i only got you this“, jean said, handing jeremy a little portrait of him with a poem on the back. „i made it for you“, jean said, blushing. „jean i love this, i love you and i feel so honored that you d r e w me. oh lord i love you so much“, jeremy starts to cry

anygays jean sits on the floor and introduces the new puppy to the other dogs. he calls him géant (which means giant in french).

so the sleeping arrangments change: flamme still sleeps on jean‘s torso, he‘s just taller and it may or may not become a bit uncomfortable to sleep on his human but he won‘t stop. like ever. and chérie still sleeps on his feet. lune sleeps on his side, always touching him somewhere, his hand on her sides, they are like spooning. and géant sleeps on either above or under lune, as well always touching jean somewhere. jeremy almost doesn‘t fit in the bed anymore.

so the next day they‘re getting a bigger bed. for the dog‘s sack. yes.

so jean spends his days drawing and playing the piano. talking to his dogs. going for walks with his songs. meeting friends, with his dogs. he won‘t leave the house without at least one dog. actually he won‘t leave without all of his dogs.

one day jeremy walked in on him sitting on the floor, the dogs and him sitting in a perfect circle, a tiny tea cup in front of each dogs. they were having tea. on the floor. jeremy took a picture of it and sent it to kevin and andrew. this was his family and he felt so many emotions and he started to cry because it was just so c u t e. there was his tall ass boyfriend, who looked quite scary, on the floor, talking softly in french with his four dogs. and he was just about to leave them be when he said a bit louder „you can join us darling. i left a cup for you on here“ and jeremy just went to his boyfriend and their four dogs and they had tea on the floor in front of the tall windows watching the moon replace the sun

it became kind of an tradition

just like the dogs sleeping in their beds

i like to think that each dogs represents a part of them: chérie is jeremy in college, lune is jean in colllege, flamme is jeremy now and géante is jean now

okay so jean gave up exy in my head BUT he still plays exy with the dogs

jean makes jeremy and him matching jumpers with the dogs in winter

the apartment is full and i mean FULL with pictures of the dogs and jean with the dogs and jeremy with the dogs and jerejean of the dogs, like every wall is full with pictures, every shelf that doesn‘t have drawings of jean is full with pictures of them with the dogs, the piano jean plays on each day when jeremy comes back from training is full of dog pictures, they are literally everywhere. there is even one on the toilet

sometimes when their friends over it gets just Too Much and he has to leave the room and the dogs follow him and he just has to sit on the floor and talk to them and stroke them and everything gets better

jean loves his dogs so much, they are like his best friends, they understand him, they make sure he is never alone, even when jeremy has to leave for away games or interviews and comes home late

jeremy might have put his pieces together but the dogs are like the glue that keeps them together

it also became tradition that jeremy always takes the tall dogs on their morning runs and jean runs with the small ones. when lune and chérie are tired he will carry them

sometimes you will find jean moreau with jeremy knox on his back, lune and chérie in each hand and flamme and géante on each side

people sometimes look funny at him, but he doesn‘t care

the dogs saved his life, made it something happy and bright, like jeremy knox. never did he dare to think jean could be that happy. but now he is in this bright apartement, sitting on the floor, painting a portrait of jeremy, dogs all around him sleeping and he just can‘t help but smile

#all for the game #the foxhole court #the raven king #the king’s men #jean moreau #jeremy knox #ship: jerejean #jerejean #jean with dogs make me so fucking soft

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lonestarbabe · 3 years

Text

Holding Out for a Hero

Chapter 10: I Wanna Be Missed

[AO3]

T.K. and Carlos are pining idiots, and then, they have a moment of clarity.

I wanna be missed like every night

I wanna be kissed like it’s the last time

Say you can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t breathe without me

I wanna be held, fragile like glass

‘Cause I’ve never felt nothing like that

Say you can’t walk, can’t talk, can’t go on without me

Carlos

Ever since T.K. had come clean about the lies that he had told Carlos, the mood had changed between them. But Carlos felt like there was cement stuffed in his throat because nothing felt settled to him. He worried about T.K. more than ever. How can I know if he’s okay when he’s so good at faking it? How can I protect him? When are things going to spiral again? He was panicked at the idea that eventually, things were going to get worse again. New obstacles were always waiting along the horizon. As soon as I let my guard down, that’s when bad things happen, so I have to keep my guard up. I will keep him safe. I will stay vigilant.

“Did you feel the energy of the arena?” T.K. said after his show, bouncing on his toes. “I’ve never felt so alive.” T.K. was always good-spirited immediately after shows, but lately, he had been ebullient. He didn’t even have the post-show depression that usually appeared after the adrenaline worse off. He’d also been sober, at least as far as Carlos could tell.

“It was a great show,” Carlos praised. “You’re always so good.”

“Things are finally starting to feel normal.” T.K. finished packing his things to leave the arena. “And I get to see Marjan next week, and she won’t even have to give me a lecture to get my life together.”

“That’s great, T.K.”

“Who knew therapy would be so good?” It had only been a few weeks, and Carlos was worried that T.K. felt too good. When the honeymoon period wore off and T.K.’s therapist started to unearth more complicated topics, Carlos feared that T.K.’s good mood would plummet. He hoped T.K. was ready for the ups and downs of getting better. “I’ve tried it before, but I’ve never felt this good.”

Maybe I’m projecting. When Carlos had lost his job and his boyfriend, he’d been just as cheery when he first started therapy. He was hopeful. He thought he was over the worst of it, so he became complacent. Then, Taylor was arrested, and Carlos realized that no matter how many good days were having, you had to be ready for the bad days that crept in. Carlos wanted to warn T.K. about the lows that could so quickly turn into a spiral, but he didn’t know how to mention it without killing T.K.’s good mood.

He looked at his watch. “It’s late. Where to next?”

“Just the hotel. I’m not ready to go out yet,” which was a small relief. Carlos wasn’t going to gatekeep T.K.’s recovery, but he still worried about it. “I don’t even want to go out.”

“Wow,” Carlos said with a smile. “You really have changed.” He hoped he sounded encouraging.

“You’re staying with me, aren’t you?” Carlos loved staying in the same room as T.K., having him close, and laughing with him until early in the morning.

“I know you get lonely,” Carlos said, leading T.K. to the car. When they get there, he opens the door for T.K. and then plops down beside T.K., exhausted. He yawned, causing T.K. to yawn in response.

“You can have your own room if you want,” T.K. reminded him. He said that every time they stayed somewhere overnight. “It’s not like I need to pinch pennies, but I like having you around.” I like having you around too.

“It would be a waste,” Carlos said with a shrug. “Besides, I like our sleepovers. Gossiping and watching romcoms.”

“You love romcoms.”

“I only watch them because…” I love you “… you pout if I don’t.”

“Play it cool if you want. I know you love The Notebook.”

Carlos laughed. “You do know that romcom means romantic comedy, right?”

“You’re just trying to distract me from your romcom-loving, mushy heart.” T.K. nudges Carlos with his shoulder. “Just for that, I’m making you watch The Notebook tonight.”

“No thanks. I don’t want to cry.”

“A good cry is good for the soul.”

Carlos shook his head. “That’s what you’ll say until after The Notebook you make me watch Mamma Mia! to neutralize your emotions.”

“You love it,” T.K. replied with a cocky lilt and rested his head on Carlos’ shoulder. Carlos stayed very still the whole rise home so that T.K. would keep his head there.

When they got back to the hotel, they got into their pajamas, and as Carlos was going to get on his bed, T.K. patted the space next to him. “Sit with me for a while. I want you close so I can comfort you when the movie gets too sad.”

Carlos obliged. He saw that T.K. had already flipped the TV. “We’re not watching The Notebook.” Carlos knew what T.K. was about to do before he did it. “Don’t start pouting. I’m not falling for it.”

“Fine,” T.K. said, flipping the TV off.

Carlos regretted his choice. “I didn’t mean we couldn’t watch any movie.”

T.K. grinned. “I have better ideas.” He scooted closer to Carlos, easing across the big bed.

“What are you—"

T.K. pressed his lips to Carlos’, and Carlos pushed his weight into the mattress so that he could match the pressure on his lips. I forgot how good kissing can be. Carlos hadn’t kissed someone like that since Taylor, and he missed the feeling, and the kiss jolted the exhaustion from Carlos’ body. T.K.’s lips lingered, ghosting over Carlos’ even as T.K. pulled away. Selfishly, Carlos let T.K. kiss him again. A kiss never hurt anyone, Carlos thought. Just a few moments more, and then I’ll put an end to this.

T.K. pushed Carlos down on the bed and climbed on top of him. He pulled his shirt over his head and trailed his lips down Carlos’ neck, and Carlos was helpless to the chemicals surging through his body. Carlos raked his hand down T.K.’s abs. He’s beautiful.

“T.K., hold on.” Carlos couldn’t bring himself to say, “Stop.” T.K. rolled off Carlos right away, and Carlos fought the urge to pull T.K. back onto him. He missed the grounding weight, and before saying anything else, Carlos steadied his breath. God, I want him. “Do you really think this is a good idea?”

“What’s wrong?” T.K. asked, breathing heavily. I have to be the voice of reason.

“If we don’t stop now, we never will.” Carlos brushed a hand down T.K.’s face, needing to know that the moments they shared were more than just fantasy. T.K. was real, oh too real. The gesture gave T.K. the wrong idea. It was an implicit, “Keep going.” Carlos pulled his hand away, not wanting to be inadvertently cruel with the inherent promise in the softness of his touch, but it was too late. T.K. beamed, and Carlos was seconds away from promising T.K. the whole universe.

“I don’t want to stop.” T.K. kissed Carlos’ neck, and Carlos steeled himself, scrounging up all the self-restraint in his body. I don’t want to stop either. But he had to maintain boundaries. My heart is at risk, and I need to keep this situation under control.

“I do,” Carlos said without wavering, and T.K. wilted for a millisecond before hiding his disappointment under the effortless, carefree expression he used for his fans. Carlos hated that look being used on him. T.K. pulled himself further from Carlos. I can’t have it both ways. I’ve made my decision, and I have to stick with it.

“Okay,” T.K. said with a shaky voice; the intensity of his gaze shifted from Carlos to the generic art that was on the hotel wall. “That’s okay.”

“Are you upset?”

T.K. looked over his shoulder for a second, and he smiled like an eighth-grader with braces told to “smile with their teeth” on picture day. “Not at all,” he said, sounding a lot like a fire alarm with a dead battery. Only a moron would turn down T.K. Strand, and right now, I’m the most self-loathing moron on earth.

T.K.

I’m such an idiot, T.K. thought as his thoughts started to spiral into self-recrimination. I should have known that he wouldn’t be into me. I’ve ruined everything, and I took the best thing in my life and flipped it on its head. He’s looking at me with pity in his eyes and must think I’m so pathetic for making a move.

“I’m sorry,” T.K. said, rising from the bed. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t be,” Carlos said in a rush.

“I thought…” T.K. trailed off. I thought there was something between us. Anxiety was building in his chest, converting into anger. “I shouldn’t have…I’m just lonely,” he said harshly. Carlos’ face fell, and T.K. hated himself for the part of him that wanted that hurt reaction. He couldn’t take the way those brown eyes were looking at him, the way they softened that anger even as the anger fought harder than ever to take over T.K.’s mind. “You’re really hot.” Complimenting Carlos’ appearance was a happy medium between the angry façade of rejection and the yearning heartbreak that so easily came with loving the way someone looked at you more than the way they looked to you.

Carlos didn’t respond, and T.K. couldn’t stop talking because if he did, he wasn’t sure what he might do instead. “Can’t blame a man for trying.” For hoping. He painted on a breezy smile as he pushed down the monsters stirring inside of him. “I’m probably not your type.” He probably likes sane people.

“It’s not that I’m not attracted to you.”

T.K. couldn’t help the hope that rose in his chest. I’m fool. He eased closer to Carlos, but he kept space between them. “Then, kiss me.” Please, and if you can’t do that, at least hug me. Hold my hand. Smile at me. Love me. He’d take anything that Carlos would give; he’d give anything that Carlos would take.

Carlos shook his head, voice low, “I can’t.”

T.K. wanted to beg. He wanted to say, Pretend I’m yours for just an hour. Give me a taste of your love, and I won’t ask for more. Let me have just one moment, so I can imagine how forever with you might feel. Make me feel like I matter. “What’s a little stress relief between friends?”

“Stress relief wasn’t what we were doing, T.K. Not to me.”

“What were we doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is this going to make things weird?” T.K. asked, dreading the answer.

“Of course not,” Carlos was quick to reassure him.

“I’m going to sleep,” T.K. said, flopping onto the other bed and flipping the lamp off. He didn’t want Carlos to see the glassiness in his eyes. He was trying not to cry because then Carlos might realize how heartbroken he was.

“Are you okay?”

“A little rejection isn’t going to make me a druggie again, Carlos,” T.K. snapped. But the thought passed my mind, he thought darkly.

“We can still watch a movie.”

T.K. shook his head. “I’m exhausted.” He turned away from Carlos, and he tried to force himself to sleep. I wish I had an oxy to chase the sadness away, he thought as his breathing steadied and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

Carlos

Carlos hadn’t been able to sleep. T.K. was across the room in the other bed, turned on his side so that he faced away from Carlos. Carlos crept out of the dark room, slipping into the lit hallway. He pulled out his phone and realized that he didn’t have anyone to call. He studied his contacts, trying to find a relationship that he hadn’t neglected. Finally, he took a gamble and called the one person who always seemed to see through T.K.’s bullshit.

“What did he do this time?” Marjan said after one and a half rings.

Carlos wondered if calling her had been a mistake as he struggled to find words. He looked at the time, and it was three am. He considered hanging up altogether, but Marjan’s curiosity would probably lead to her calling him back. But what do I say?

“Oh, I see,” Marjan said when Carlos didn’t say anything. “You’re worried you did something.”

“It’s late. I shouldn’t have bothered you.” He gulped. “I didn’t have anyone else to call.” That’s pathetic!

“It’s earlier here.”

“Still,” Carlos hedged.

“Carlos, we’re friends. I wouldn’t have answered if I didn’t want to talk.”

“We are?”

“Anyone who cares as much about T.K. as you do is a friend.”

“I’m not doing so well on that front. I think I care too much. That’s the problem.”

“Caring too much isn’t a problem, Carlos.” It is when it stands in the way of my job.

“I meant—”

“I know what you meant,” Marjan said. “You’re worried about getting too attached.”

“I’m already there,” Carlos said with a titter.

“What’s the problem?”

“My job. I can’t cross any more boundaries.”

“Sounds like an excuse to me.”

“I’m not sure why I called. Sorry to have wasted your time.”

“You’re not getting out of this that easy, buddy.”

“I was afraid of that.”

“You called for a reason, and since you did, you’re getting the friend treatment.” She continued, “This isn’t about your job. It never was. You’re afraid. You’re terrified of what it means to love him. I get it. I’ll kill you if you tell him I said this, but T.K. is sunshine on a rainy day. He makes you feel important. When you’ve gotten his trust, he’s loyal and affectionate. He gives his whole heart. But all those things that make T.K. so lovable are also what makes him so terrifying because sunshine can burn. He becomes self-destructive. He burns too brightly. He gets lost in his passion, and in the process, he hurts the people who are closest to him.”

“How do I deal with that?”

“You remember that loving T.K. Strand means knowing that you can’t save him from himself. You can support him. You can lessen the heat, but you can’t burn with him, no matter how tempting that may be.” That’s what I was afraid she would say, Carlos thought.

“I can’t stop these feelings, can I?” Carlos asked miserably.

“Not really, so it’ll only hurt you both if you’re a dumbass about it.” She sighed. “Tell him how you feel. I’m serious.”

“He’s asleep,” which was probably for the best. If T.K. was awake, Carlos might have stormed into the room before he had the chance to think things over.

“He won’t be forever.” I can’t avoid this forever.

“Yeah,” the conversation dwindled. “Thanks for the advice. Goodnight, Marjan.”

“Call me again sometime when it’s not so late. We can have a real chat. Like real friends do.”

“Will do,” Carlos replied before hanging up the phone and sneaking back into the room as quietly as he could, afraid to wake T.K. up. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do come morning, but when he came back into the room with the light already on, a dim glow around T.K.’s face like a halo, Carlos had a wave of courage that he didn’t think would last until the morning.

Carlos stared into T.K.’s red-rimmed eyes, knowing that it was a decisive moment. He either had to end whatever it was between them for good or take a chance on feelings that were blooming between them, but he knew he couldn’t keep T.K. in limbo. “Do you have a minute to talk?” Carlos asked, fear in his voice, and the pause before T.K. spoke felt like it lasted a lifetime.

#wip #911 lone star #911 lone star fics #holding out for a hero #elise writes #my writing

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theroyalmile · 3 years

Text

Body by Chemo

Last weekend I went for a 9-mile bike ride to downtown Boston and back. I was admittedly nervous and skeptical about this ride beforehand for a couple of reasons. First, it has been years since I rode a bike, and I know there’s that whole expression “It’s like riding a bike” but I’m not sure that expression is all that accurate. Second, I have never ridden a bike in Boston. Third, I get winded these days going up and down my stairs, so I was not sure I quite “had it in me.” But, my whole household was going, it was a beautiful day, and I had been promising myself I would make an effort to be more active. So off we went. Oh, and there was a promise of breakfast sandwiches and coffee and donuts once we made it downtown- nobody could say no to that.

The beginning of the ride was rocky. The original bike I borrowed was just a little too tall for me, and because of that I felt incredibly unsteady. I traded bikes with one of my roommates and that bike ended up being a better fit for me- a few loops around a parking lot and I thought, “Hey, it really is like riding a bike.” With my confidence reasserted, we hit the bike path.

The bike ride was, overall, beautiful. I did find myself getting winded and had to stop a couple of times. My roommates had been prepared to take it easy with me, and were very supportive. Eventually we made it the 4.5 miles downtown and I felt so incredibly proud for conquering my first time back on a bike and first time biking downtown, all while dealing with the fatigue, shortness of breath and other goodies that come with my chemo treatment. I felt empowered and heartened, which made me feel optimistic about the ride back home.

That optimism was short lived; almost immediately after we took off it became apparent that my body simply could not handle it. I told myself we just had to get out of downtown and back on the bike trail and then I would ask to stop. We made it and I signaled everyone for a quick break. I thought maybe if I caught my breath and had some water it would be okay. One of our bike squad members offered for me to try their bike to see if that made a difference. I hopped on bikes a block or so, and then hopped off almost immediately- it just wasn’t going to work. As I hopped off, right after we had crossed an intersection, I heard two men yelling from a car about some girl having a fat ass, or something to that effect. Regardless of whether they were talking about me or someone else who had crossed the street with us, that was the final kick for me. Any experienced fat girl understands that you will always think those comments are about you, even when they are not. (Disclaimer: I do not mean “fat” as something negative, and I am definitely not looking for people to tell me I’m not fat, I’m simply stating a fact about my body). Anyways, it was at this point I felt the tears of frustration welling up and knew my ride was done. I told the crew I couldn’t go any further and would walk while they biked on.

There is a certain trauma that comes with being fat and exercising. It’s almost like you never want someone to see you fail at any kind of physical activity because it feels like you're reinforcing the stereotype, like, oh of course the fat girl can’t finish the bike ride. My roommate had offered, very kindly, to come back and pick me up in the car. That was an indignancy I couldn’t bear- it was one thing to fail to finish the ride; it was another to have to be driven home. No, I said stubbornly, I would walk my bike home. Caleb of course insisted on walking his bike with me.

As we walked our bikes I became more and more upset. Part of it was the embarrassment of being a fat girl walking a bike home. I almost want to scream at passers by “It’s not because I’m fat- I have cancer!” But another, bigger part of it was the reality of admitting to myself that chemo had changed my body, and it simply wasn’t up to the tasks it might normally have been. Eventually I became upset enough that I had to stop and let myself have a small breakdown. Caleb hugged me while I cried and tried to keep me in perspective. “You’re going through chemo” he reminded me, and tried to help me realize that having made it as far as I had was a feat in itself. He walked across the street to grab me tissues and a gatorade so I could cry, rehydrate, cry, and rehydrate some more.

****

Here’s the thing about chemo- it has made me feel incredibly betrayed by my body. I have always been overweight, since my teenage years or even earlier. Different versions of overweight, but overweight. That was just the way it was, and I had reached a certain level of acceptance of that. But I had always prided myself on how active I could be. Pre-pandemic I could run 4-5 miles no problem. I would hit the gym three times a week, I would get the steps in. I was still fat, I was active, and I felt good about myself.

Because of chemo, I am now fat, inactive, and feel terrible all the time. I get winded walking up stairs, I am exhausted by my five minute walk from the T to my office downtown, and I find a short walk will tire me out for an afternoon. And it’s not just my stamina. It is absolutely everything.

The skin around my mouth had begun peeling and reddening. My cuticles are dry and peeling and hurt. My hands and feet are dry and cracked. My arms are bruised up and down from frequent IVs. I oftentimes cannot open my medicine bottles or jars without help. My hair, of course, is completely gone, not just on my head, but my nostrils too, leaving me with an almost constant runny nose. My eyebrows are thinning, along with my eyelashes, and I pray to whoever is listening to please not take those away from me too. My hands shake, and have turned dark brown from the cytoxan (which thankfully I am done with). My memory is terrible. I am breaking out like I’m back and middle school. My joints hurt, my muscles ache, despite me doing nothing all day. AND I get hot flashes now! Oh and I am hungry all the time. Honestly ALL THE TIME.

Here’s the thing- my body and I have been in a constant battle since I was 12 years old. It took me 10-15 years to learn to love my body for what it was, with the understanding I was never going to have the same body as my friends, was never going to fit their clothes, and was never going to be the traditional idea of “in shape.” But we had come to truce, my body and I. I had found acceptance, and even joy in my body. I had even got to a point where I wore a bikini for the first time since I was a child the summer before the pandemic and it felt amazing, liberating. I followed plus size models like Ashley Graham and Tess Holiday on Instagram and thought heck yeah, if they can do it so can I.

My cancer treatment has taken the pride I had in my body and the control I had over my activity levels and appearance and destroyed every last piece of it. When I was having my worst struggles with my body in college, therapists used to ask me to list my favorite things about my appearance. My top two on that list were always the same: 1) My hair and 2) My boobs. Well, cancer has taken one of those things from me already and will have taken the other by the end of this summer. Like I said, my body has betrayed me now in more ways that I can count. And that betrayal is likely not going to end for a long time. Honestly not until there is no cancer in my body any more. Because let’s be real- that’s the biggest betrayal of all.

Whenever I catch myself in the mirror these days it has the potential to ruin my whole day. There are few outfits that make me feel comfortable and attractive. My face feels round, rounder without hair to frame it. I try not to look too long, lest I find more things to hate. I am terrified of upcoming social gatherings, and wonder how on earth will I be able to feel remotely happy about my appearance for them.

Chemo has reshaped my body in so many ways, some that I am only starting to realize. It is hard, fitting into this new body and becoming accustomed to it. It is even harder learning to love it. Indescribably hard. I think I can get there but sometimes it’s difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Moments like the complete few minutes of despair I felt during our bike ride sometimes make that light seem even further. But it’s important to remember those moments are often fleeting, and can change with a little perspective.

****

After I cried it out on the bike path, I checked the time and realized we really needed to start heading home. Caleb had a vaccine appointment to make and I was an hour away from committing murder of some poor bystander out of sheer frustration. I looked on Google maps and found the walk home would be 48 minutes, probably more pushing a bike and with my sad little chemo lungs. The bike ride home? 12 minutes. So back on the bike I went, and it took every muscle in my body to pedal that 12 minutes home. Fueled by my anger and embarrassment, and the residual tears, we eventually made it all the way home.

I originally found little pride and satisfaction in our trip. All I could think about was how I couldn’t bike the whole thing, and about how those guys in the car had yelled, and how much I hated my biking outfit, and how defeated and mortified I was feeling.

Sometimes perspective takes time, but eventually I found some. I owe a lot of the perspective to Caleb’s support and encouragement both during and after the bike ride, and to my parents pride and excitement as I was telling them about my biking adventure. I also owe a lot of it to a nap, a much needed shower, and a new day. With perspective I rediscovered some of that pride I had lost. Nine miles there and back? I did that shit. And yeah, maybe I didn’t bike the whole thing, but I sure as hell did the whole thing, and did the whole thing while in the midst of chemotherapy treatment. While in the midst of poisoning my body beyond recognition. I am a freaking badass.

And what did I do that evening? Ate my body weight in sushi because I wanted to.

I know there are going to be a lot more ups and downs like this. That bike ride was filled with some very high highs and some very low lows. This is going to happen. And while I don’t know exactly what to expect from my body in the months to come, I do know that whatever happens I’ll see y’all at the beach in July- I’ll be the fat girl with the bald head in a bikini eating an ice cream cone.

#chemo #chemotherapy #chemosucks #breast cancer #body image

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thestarwrites · 3 years

Text

All Right, All Might: Ch. 9

Word Count: 3,030

Rating: PG-13 (Mentions of a sexual nature)

Painting: Toshinori Yagi X FemOC

The UA Guidance Counselor, a quirk user with Pathokenesis, is shocked to find out her personal hero All Might is coming to be a teacher. The road they walk as a parallel starts to merge and there’s no telling what could happen. The attack on the USJ has sparked a lot of things from happening – including a new level of relationship for Toshinori and Keri. And now with the sports festival in two weeks, she starts counseling the 1-A students, and she gets to know class 1-A better than before.

---

CHAPTER NINE: TRYING OUR BEST

“Miss Chairo- you wanted to see me?” The calm and clear voice of Tenya Ida came though the doorway with a soft hesitation.

“Yes- come in Tenya, make yourself at home,” the guidance counselor smiled and took a deep breath, “I’m sure you of all people understand why you’re here today.”

He gave a nod, sitting on the sofa, “Yes miss. About yesterday.”

Keri smiled, “I just want to check in on you... see how you’re doing after everything, you were a real hero yesterday and I know that kind of fear that comes with not knowing what to do but having to act anyway.” She set a cup of tea in front of the boy on the coffee table, “You have that ability to act with purpose, I saw it also the other morning when you stopped everyone from stampeding out of the cafeteria.”

Ida blushed and he smiled shyly, “Thank you miss Chairo...”

“I just tell it like it is, Tenya,” she smiled, “Let’s talk about it, let’s try to unpack it from yesterday- you were a mess when I saw you. How did you feel?”

Taking a deep breath he looked down at his fists on his knees, “I... all I could think in my head was that I was abandoning them. That I was leaving them one man down while I ran. I thought, what if I’m not fast enough, what if there are villains waiting to ambush someone running for help?”

She nodded and listened to him, her forehead began to glow as she wordlessly reassured the boy, “Those are all very valid concerns, I haven’t been doing support hero work long, but I have known a lot of heroes - do you know the BMI Hero Fatgum?”

“Yeah! I’ve heard of him…”

“He always was afraid of hurting people or not being fast enough to save people - heroes are always afraid. But its the ability to dig deep and push forward that really makes a good hero. And you really do deserve your place here at UA. All of the members of your class do, you all have proved how tenacious you all are.”

Tenya took a deep breath and nodded, “I guess all heroes are afraid - do you get afraid Miss Chairo?”

“Of course I do. I was afraid yesterday when I found you running up to the school. But we had to act, hm?” He nodded and took a deep breath, “But it is completely necessary to decompress and talk about incidents after they happen. It’s important to talk about how we feel. Because if you bottle things up, or try to take things into your own hands… well, things don’t turn out well most of the time.”

He nodded and took a deep breath, “Talk about how I feel.” He nodded again, “Maybe as class rep I can help the other students keep being reminded of this valuable lesson!”

She chuckled and sighed, “Tenya I think that’s a wonderful sentiment, that’s why I wanted to become a hero therapist. Because I think it’s very important. So if you ever feel anything start to pile up on you, or you feel out of control, or afraid - you come and talk to me. And if not me, any of your classmates. Don’t forget now, okay?”

“I wont! I promise!” He grinned, “It does make me feel better knowing you were scared yesterday too…”

Keri smiled, “I’m glad, I always want you to remember, heroes are just people. You and your classmates got a very real taste of something very scary. You’re all handling it very well. I’m so proud.”

Tenya grinned wider, “Well I will do my best to never let you down, Miss Chairo!”

She chuckled, “Okay Tenya, just try your best… go on back to class now, hm?”

He nodded and bowed, always so formal, “Have a good rest of your day Miss Chairo!” He waved as he left, taking his backpack with him.

After Ida, she had some shorter visits with children who were more or less fine; Mineta, Sato, Shouji, Kaminari, Tokoyami, Hagakure, and Sero. They were very brief, mostly just a yes miss I’m fine, and back to class. She didn’t sense any trauma there.

The only one who came in who needed a little more counseling was the boy Aoyama - he was hiding the entire battle. He felt regret and fear about it. She thought back to what she said to Eijiro - some heroes don’t know how they fit. She’d have to think on how to help this blonde boy.

——

The final face before her lunchtime meeting with Izuku and Toshinori that she saw was the sweet round face of Ochako Uraraka. Keri smiled and took a deep breath, “Good morning Ochako, please come on in!”

The girl grinned, “How are you this morning miss Keri?”

“I’m doing just fine, especially since all of you kids are alright now,” She smiled, “And that Aizawa is even his normal miserable self.”

Ochaco giggled as she sat down on the couch, “I’m glad everyone is okay too… I was really worried about the teachers, but Aizawa, Thirteen and All Might all seem to be okay.”

“Yeah, you all are so resilient, how are you doing?”

“I mean, I’m a little scared but… you know, the teachers and the police are gonna protect us! That’s what they do.” She said hopefully.

Keri smiled, “Yes, they certainly will do their best - but don’t forget Ochaco, you also have to continue to work on getting stronger and having a strategy for when things don’t pan out as you hope.”

She nodded, “Of course Miss Keri,” she hummed, “Uhm - can I ask you a personal question?”

Blinking the woman smiled, “Sure, why not?”

“Mina said she saw you running through the hall and crying yesterday… are, are you okay?”

Keri blushed a little and smiled bashfully, “I was just worried is all, it was a long day, and I had to maintain normalcy for everyone, it just gets to you sometimes.”

“Is it…. Cause of All Might? Cause he was hurt?” Ochaco blushed.

She smiled a little, “Yeah… I was really worried about him. He pushes himself really hard you know? And so does Midoriya.” Her cheeks lit red at the mention of the boy, and Keri smiled, “I’m sure you were worried about Izuku as well?”

“W-well yeah… I mean… he’s my… friend, right? Of course I was…”

“Girl to girl - I think we both had the same worry.” Keri smiled warmly.

Ochaco bit her lip, “I- I mean— I just wanted him to be okay! I mean — you and All Might - well that’s different! I saw you guys in the hall this morning holding hands— Not like, not like I want to hold hands with Deku!”

“Breathe, Ochaco,” Keri smiled, sending soothing energy over her, “You are in a safe place and I do not discuss sessions. Izuku is a handsome young man, and he’s strong and courageous. A lot of the boys in your class are pretty remarkable. There’s nothing to be ashamed of thinking good things about someone you admire… and you’re right, All Might and I were holding hands, we’re just… trying it out, you know?”

“I thought you guys were already dating when I met you.” She blinked.

Keri laughed, “No… no I only met him some months before you all did, I was working here my first year last year, and at the end of the semester, All Might came into my office thinking it was where Principal Nezu was located, and he scared the hell out of me, I’ll tell you.”

Ochaco laughed a bit at that, the heat being taken off of her developing feelings, “How did you get so close?”

She smiled fondly, “Well, he is the Symbol of Peace, right? He’s supposed to be unbreakable, infallible, strong and sturdy and happy — All Might is still a man, like anyone else. He gets scared, and hurt, and upset too. I just offered him someone to talk to.”

“So you’re like, his therapist?”

“More like a friend, he listens to me too,” She smiled, “We just kind of… hit it off I guess. We became really close friends - then we got into a fight before school started. And since we made up, we’ve decided to see if we could be more than friends I guess.” She blushed.

The teen smiled, “Well I hope you guys stay more than friends.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” she started, “All Might deserves to have someone he can share his time with - the tabloids have never shown him with anyone. It’s kind of sad if he has to save the world, and he has no one to hold him when he’s sad. Everyone needs someone to hold them up.” Keri smiled fondly at the girl, she was certainly as sweet as Izuku was, “And you’re so nice, Miss Keri - and you always check on us - I mean, you checked on me the day of the entrance exam… you made sure I wasn’t in shock and helped me get to the bathroom when I was queasy. You’re both just… cute together I think.”

Keri smiled, “Well, thank you Ochaco… that’s very nice of you to say. And you’re right, everyone needs someone to hold them up. So don’t be afraid of holding others up if you feel you want to, okay? Let your gut tell you what to do.”

She nodded and smiled, the bell for lunch rang, “Oh! I’m so hungry - I’m going to go meet up with my friends, but thank you for taking care of us, miss Keri.”

Smiling she nodded, “Don’t stop believing in the good things in the world, Ochaco.” Waving as the girl left she sighed and pulled the privacy curtain down, sitting on the sofa with a tired sigh. This was more than she was used to, she was a little tapped out from using her quirk for so long but she could bear up alright with some tea and food.

She jumped when the door suddenly flung open, “Hey!” The tall muscular blonde who opened the door cheered, “I am here! With young Midoriya!”

Keri just sighed and nodded, “Hello boys, come on in,” it was unintentionally punctuated with a yawn.

Deki frowned, “Are you alright Miss Chairo?”

Smiling at the green haired boy she nodded, quickly also seeing concern on her boyfriend’s face as he deflated, locking the office door, “Yes yes, just tired. I’ve been using my quirk for hours.”

Toshinori came over to her on the sofa, and he patted his lap, “You’re not overdoing it right? Do you feel nauseous at all? Here - why don’t you lie down here while I speak with young Midoriya? I’m sure a small nap would do you good.”

She blushed, “N- no I’m fine, promise.” If Izuku wasn’t here, she would curl into Toshinori like a tired kitten, but, this was school. No matter how close Toshinori and Izuku were, they are his teachers, “You don’t have to worry so much, I’m fine, honestly. You and Izuku just, talk okay?”

He nodded, “Well- I have a free period after lunch so… offer stands, okay?”

She nodded and went about making tea for her hero and her student, “Let me get some tea going…”

Toshinori looked to Midoriya and he gave a small sigh, “Fifty minutes.”

Keri winced gently at the frankness of her boyfriend’s voice, seemingly unbothered. The two of them had already had this talk, but he had some things to bring to the attention of his protégée.

“H-huh?” Izuku looked shocked, “fifty minutes?!”

Toshinori nodded, “That’s about how long I can use my power now… I overdid it too many times.”

“I’ll say,” Patho chimed in causing a look from both men.

“That Nomu was a real tough customer…” the blonde continued, “it took a lot out of me. At this point I can barely even look like All Might for an hour and a half.”

Izuku looked down at his knees and he grunted softly, “I’m so sorry, I should have just —!”

Toshinori burst into laughter, blood erupting from his mouth as he did so, “You don’t need to apologize for anything!”

“Toshi! Cover your mouth you’re getting blood all over my office!” Keri scolded.

He cleared his throat, using the old stained ladies handkerchief Keri had lended him to hold against his lips, “MAN, we are alike, you and me, kid.”

Keri sighed and came over, setting the tea tray on the little coffee table, “Have some tea, Izuku.”

“Thanks…” he said with a little shock in his voice.

After a pause in the room, she sighed, “I will take a walk, I’ve been cooped up in this room all day, I’d like some air.” She leaned in and kissed Toshinori’s head.

He reached for her hand and kissed it, “Knock the way we talked about when you get back.”

“Yes, Mister number one,” she smirked and waved, “Don’t be too hard on young Izuku now, you already are scaring him spewing blood like a sprinkler.”

“B-bye Miss Chairo.” He stuttered and looked back to All Might.

All Might watched her fondly before turning back to Izuku, “I brought you here to talk about the sports festival…”

Keri stepped out of her office and stretched, heading down the hall to the balcony near her and Recovery Girl’s office. She was worried about Toshinori - though when wasn’t she?

“Hello my dear…” the smoky and familiar voice of Midnight cooed from behind her as a hand dragged onto her back, “Going for a walk?”

She jumped slightly, “Ah- Nemuri- Yes… I needed some fresh air, Ive been using my quirk all morning - how did the meeting go?”

“Oh you haven’t been filled in by your man?” She smirked.

Patho blushed, “He is busy speaking with a student right now, I haven’t gotten the chance to ask him yet.”

“Well, All Might went on a big monologue about how this Shigaraki fellow is a spoiled brat - honestly that man is smart. But we don’t know much. Honestly we’re all just worried this is turning the small-time thugs and villains into a team to try and overthrow society.”

Nodding the younger woman took a deep breath, “That’s what I was afraid of too.”

“How are the children, though?”

Looking up she nodded, “They’re doing okay. Some of them are a little shaken up, especially Tenya Ida, but most of them just kind of put their trust in us and the school to continue to protect them, bu they know they have to work hard to be stronger. Best case scenario, really.”

Nemuri took a deep breath, “And how is All Might?”

“Well… you know him, he blames himself for not being there from the start. We were talking last night I had to kind of make him snap out of it, that self-deprecating hole he gets himself into.” She sighed.

“Last night?” She smirked.

“Oh- uh,” Keri blushed, “Toshinori stayed at my place last night, to get some actual rest.”

A grin spread over Midnight’s face, “So, there’s something I’ve been DYING to know…” Looking at her with skeptical eyes, Keri waited for her two continue, “Is All Might’s manhood bigger when he’s All Might?”

Keri sputtered, inhaling a breath and coughing wildly as she held to her chest, “NEMURI!”

“What! Inquiring minds want to know, Patho.” She purred.

Wiping her lips she shook her head, face furiously red, forehead glowing, “W-we haven’t— we’ve only kind of made out! We’re taking things slow! Oh my god why are you even thinking about his — his —“

“His cock?”

Keri started glowing, visibly shaken by this line of questioning, “MIDNIGHT PLEASE.” She groaned, “Why do you do this to me!”

“Because honey, you’re just so innocent about it all,” She gasped, “WAIT - are you a a virgin….”

Patho was still glowing as waves of embarrassment flooded the hallways, “What! N- no! No I’m not okay! I’ve been with someone!”

Putting her hands on her hips, midnight huffed, “I don’t believe you. I want a name.”

“Oh my god you don’t have to believe me!” She sighed and ran a hand over her face, trying to calm down, “Taishiro Toyomitsu.”

Midnight blinked for a few moments and then she held up her arms, “Am I supposed to know who that is?”

She groaned, “The hero Fatgum?? His name is Taishiro.”

“FATGUM? Are you serious? When? How long?”

“We met when I was in college okay! We dated for three years. It just didn’t work out, we were too different and he was just really committed to being a hero, and I was too committed to being a therapist.” She sighed, “Happy now?”

“Does All Might know?”

Blushing Patho shook her head, “No, and I don’t want to talk about past stuff with him yet. He’s really self conscious and he’s too sweet to admit it but he gets jealous I think. I don’t know, I just want him to be assured in how I feel before we go into our pasts.”

The older woman’s face softened, “You really do love him, don’t you.”

“I… I mean,” She took a deep breath, “Yes, I love him - I’m crazy about him. He’s the most wonderful man in the world and I just want to take care of him.”

She smiled, “I’m glad. I used to see girls he’d have flings with… most of them were fame whores or gold diggers, you know. And Toshinori is just too nice to understand sometimes.”

“I know he is. He thinks the world is a great place full of good people. He gets taken advantage of, but he never complains.”

Midnight hugged the girls shoulders, “He deserves someone like you, Keri, truly, someone who really does care.”

“Thanks Nemuri, you’re a great friend when you’re not being a pervert.” She laughed.

Midnight smirked, “Well listen honey, when you find out the answer to my question, I want to know,” She smirked, “Gotta run! Time to teach, kisses!”

Keri slapped her forehead and groaned, “I need to go lay down.”

#all right all might #toshinori yagi #toshinori yagi x reader #all might x oc #all might x reader

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dexpairs-blog · 3 years

Text

My MC Ciel and Beelzebub headcanons

I'm bored so take this lol. Reminder that this hcs are PLATONIC. also, it's probably not all about Beel but uh,, idc. It also contains some general headcanons. I'm gonna do proper hcs for him maybe later lol

TW: mentions of trauma, Ch.16 related issues, cursing, Ciel being petty?? (idk ).

ah yes, ✨SOFT BIG BOY HOURS✨

At first Ciel was a little intimidated by him, because he's HUGE.

They bond over food, the First time they talked Beel asked them if they had food and they pulled out a bag with 20 cherryXplosion (it's a popular candy in Italy, it's also my favourite lol) and they shared it.

Also, when Beel got mad at Mammon for eating his custard he never touched Ciel, he never laid a finger on them.

He saw Mammon showing the custard in their mouth and Ciel refusing to swallow it bc it wasn't theirs.

He still destroyed their room tho rip-

When they shared a room it was kinda awkward lol, but they got along almost immediately. They started talking about foods and he learned that they were really picky because of their sensory issues.

So now when he know there's something they don't like HE'S WILLING TO TRADE, he trades something from his plate he knows they like with said food. He also learns how to cook foods in certain ways so they don't have a "yucky texture" as Ciel says.

Ciel Is so grateful for that🥺 they make him pasta, HOMEMADE pasta and HOMEMADE bolognese sauce as a thanks. Oop he's a fan of their cooking now.

Their relationship is really wholesome, they're just babies being babies.

After the pact with him they can be seen hanging out togheter often, he likes to carry Ciel around on his shoulders.

HIS HUGS ARE SO SOFT AND GENTLE 😭💕 while Ciel likes to squeeze him with all of their strenght he's really gentle with them. Baby boy know he could crush them if he's not careful.

He thinks it's adorable the fact that Ciel squeezes him as hard as they can but it doesn't affect him in the slightest, they're so tiny compared to him🥺

Ciel likes playing with his hands, they're huge. Sometimes when they get distracted at rad meetings they absentmindedly reach for his hand comparing it to their tiny one, HAJDYEKHDIS IT'S SO CUTE OH MY GOSH AAAA.

They like to cup their cheeks with his hands for the same reason, his hand alone is just as big as their skull lol.

The brothers are jealous now-- now their all take turns to play with Ciel's cheeks AAAAA 😔

Dia also joins, don't leave him out 😡

Lol the meeting is completely forgotten now, they're all playing with their cheeks and tiny hands👀

This is what you get for being baby Ciel😡 jk jk-

The other side characters may or may not get involved as well.

Ok now some angst-

After the incident™ Ciel locked themselves in their room for a while and only got out for breakfast, rad, lunch and dinner.

Y'know, they just fucking witnessed their own death. And got almost killed for the 5/6th time, it's obvious that this kid had a lot of trauma to internalize.

After two weeks of this they just moved to purgatory hall, Lucifer was being bitchy bc their grades were getting lower.

Beel felt horrible, he knew it wasn't his fault but he couldn't help to blame himself for this.

Belphie felt even worse, the whole House of Lamentation was a chaos when they left.

At first they didn't seem to realize how badly this whole thing affected the poor child, they slowly realized as the time passed.

They all felt like monsters not realizing that they not only made Ciel internalize so much trauma, but they also wanted them to act as if nothing happened AND the fact that they're Lilith descendant.

Meanwhile at purgatory hall, Ciel vented to Simeon and Solomon. They preferred to leave Luke out of this.

They stayed there for almost a month, Simeon basically became their therapist and so did Barbatos.

The healed from this pretty quickly thanks to them and Solomon and Luke distracting them.

For the time they were there they shared a bed with Luke, simeon didn't want them to sleep on the couch despite Ciel protesting and saying that it wasn't a big deal.

Ciel and Luke have matching pajamas you can fight me on this.

They also helped everyone around the dorm, Simeon had to do the laundry? Cool, can i help?(they ended up Just watching bc it was confusing-), Solomon do you need help with the dishes?, Luke lemme help you make dinner! Actually, why don't you just sit and relax? I'll do it for you!

Tbh Simeon and Solomon were surprised, Lucifer always complained about how messy they were or how they never helped him. (Lmao it's actually bc of his attitude- cause if you ask them they're always willing to help) and yes, they were messy but they try their best ok?

Also, they need Simeon ironing their clothes because they can't do it. Or they need Solomon to help them with the washing machine. They need help with the 'adult stuff' as they call it.

Simeon please teach this child how to fold clothes in the right way, their clothes are always full of wrinkles😫

At some point they just straight up go to Barbatos to help them with these things.

Ciel calls Simeon 'mom' unironically, Solomon jokes about it but they both don't care. He thinks it's so sweet🥺 him? A mom? He's soft. Solomon also thinks It's cute.

Lmao they influenced Luke and he does it too. He did it once by mistake and he's flustered lol.

Speaking of Luke, they always try to be a good example for him. Simeon really appreciates that, he's so grateful that they know where it's time to act mature.

That's why they're always the first option when he needs someone to babysit Luke.

BACK WITH THE BOYS

They all came to purgatory hall to apologize. Even LUCIFER and he was CRYING, him CRYING.

Ciel forgave them but they still stayed for a bit longer, they were still so uncomfortable around Belphegor.

At least they get to hang out togheter!

When they hang out it's just the two of them at first. They are still good friends and they helped him cope in a healthier way instead of stress-eating.

Belphie and Ciel actually became friends towards the end of the year, yes they made the pact during Diavolo's birthday party but they still didn't hang out much.

As i previously said, Ciel was petty at him, they would do everything to make him upset. By hogging Beel 24/7 to straight up pour a bucket of ice on his face when he's napping.

They would only smirk and say "now we're even" and then leave. He noticed how they would act tough around him even tho they were literally shaking in their boots and flinching every time he got close.

The kid has guts, he respects that.

They only stopped when they were told that it would also affect Beel, they felt bad.

From them on they just straight up avoided him.

Lucifer got fed up and locked them in a room togheter.

they both vented, and eventually Ciel forgave him completely.

Now Beel, Belphie and Ciel all hangout togheter :)

Happy Beel noises

Turns out Ciel and Belphie have a similar sense of humor

Beel is glad that their family is back togheter🥺

All of the brothers remind Ciel that they care about them a lot and not because of the fact they're Lilith's descendant, they constantly remind this to them.

Beel is always the one picking Ciel up from therapy, Lucifer decided it's best for them to see a therapist after this whole thing.

He was right. They go regularly and it helps a lot.

They go get ice cream togheter 😎

Sometimes Belphie joins too

Now Ciel and Belphie are always talking about running away togheter with Beel

LOL

Beel is glad their family got a new younger sibling.

Also, Beel, Belphie and Ciel have naps togheter, fight me.

Ciel is the little spoon, they just get squeezed between the two demons, it makes them feel safe.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me beelzebub #ocCiel

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innittowinit · 3 years

Text

Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (chapter 15)

Fic summary:

Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers

That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?

Chapter summary:

same time period as last chapter! Techno and dream perspective this time

Chapter word count: 2849

AO3

Listen, he didn’t want to leave. Techno knew that neither him nor Wil were able to function very well apart. He knew he’d hurt Wilbur if he ran off, but it’s not like he had predicted the door getting stuck, truly he had thought once Wilbur realised he was gone he would just come over and chill out with him.

The yelling had just gotten too much. There had been so much noise and he just wanted a break, his mind had felt fuzzy and it was getting hard to distinguish his own thoughts from what was going on around him, an anxious pressure built in his chest that made him want to either scream or hit someone.

It was just so loud.

Tugging on Wilbur’s sleeve was usually the sign he gave when things were getting too much, countless times he’d done so in school and Wilbur had rushed him out of the situation, without any kind of hesitancy or worry that he might get in trouble for doing so. Which he had. That being said, he wasn’t sure if Wil had ever been the reason he was feeling this way before, he was always considerate and tried his best to do what was best - of course he was still human and had blips where he might get overwhelmed himself, or maybe he was too stressed about something and wasn’t able to help.

Those situations always felt terrible to be in, they made Techno mad beyond belief but he always calmed back down eventually. Whilst he was pretty closed off, he was never one to hold a grudge and he generally understood that Wil was his own person with his own emotions and he couldn’t always rely on him to do everything.

He didn’t want to rely on him. It felt stupid and infantilising to not be able to do things yourself, That being said, he appreciated his brother greatly.

So, when Wil was far too heated to help, Techno had tried his best to endure the situation. No matter how light headed he got, he knew Wil would freak out if he left, so he stayed. For a while it was okay, it was stressful and awkward but he was okay.

That was until the proper yelling started. When they had moved from calling each other annoying and selfish to genuinely attacking each other as people. As much as he wanted to stay, he knew he needed to just take a break, Wilbur would understand. He knew Wil knew he was getting overwhelmed so of course Wilbur would understand.

Nobody noticed when he left, that’s what he had thought, despite the fact that he had been frantically running for a place to calm down. Since they had been sitting on the coaster just moments before, the most logical place to hide seemed to be the ticket booth. Wrapping his long hair back into a ponytail, the boy carefully crept into the old building, keeping the door open behind him as he hadn’t planned to stay long.

The floor had speckled pieces of glass all over it, stemming from vandals that had come over the years, the old counter was surprisingly clean though so that’s where he decided to sit, back leaning against the rusted old shutters. The idea that one day someone had closed this place up after work and never came back was a weird mix of haunting and calming, like it showed just how easily places can get lost to time. Not wanting rust in his hair, he had pulled the ponytail out from behind him and placed it over his shoulder, braiding it slowly to pass the time.

The braid wasn’t exactly good or pretty, Niki was usually the one who would braid his hair, she was the one who had taught him too but he supposed he didn’t have the coordination or patience to make it look presentable at all.

From inside the booth, he could still hear the echoes of yelling but it was much more muffled now, it provided a nice easy middle-ground where he wasn’t too far from his brothers and could easily go to them if he heard anything bad happen, but it was also quiet enough that he was able to hear his own thoughts again. Thank god.

Peace never seemed to last long anymore though, not now that the Dream Team were apparently so adamant on becoming friends. He guessed so anyway, he had been listening to the start of the argument and George seemed genuinely sorry about everything.

“Hey!” A voice had come from right outside the booth, footsteps of someone jogging along with that too.

Before he knew it, Dream had ran into the booth, closing the door behind him -out of habit, Techno guessed- and then started walking towards Techno. There was a crash and a blur of green before the boy was on the floor, having tripped over some of the debris, reminding Techno that the majority of people weren’t used to the vast amount of shit that was just spewn over the park from it’s previous owners.

Maybe if it was any of his brothers he would have laughed at the trip, it was comical to say the least. But the floor was covered in glass and dirt and God knows what else.

Not the best stuff to be laying in, that’s for sure.

Hopping down off the counter and running his hand through his hair to get rid of the braid, he made his way to the boy and tried to help him up, at least he didn’t seem to be upset.

“Oh god!” He chuckled, his laugh was almost a wheeze, Techno thought if they were ever friends he might tease him about it. “Dude! You ran off, I just wanted to make sure you were alright”

He rubbed his hands, scratched and dirty, against his hoodie to get some of the grime off as he sat against the wall, seemingly not caring about everything he was sitting in.

It was almost like a movie, Techno thought, how he laughed and got up only for everything to come crashing down.

There was a thin crack going from the top middle to the bottom middle of his mask, admittedly it didn’t look all too serious until Dream had sat up, laughing like a kettle, that it had snapped in two, both pieces of plastic dangling off his ears while the elastic held them pathetically.

The boy’s face displayed genuine horror and embarrassment, as if he had been caught without trousers on or something. To Techno, the idea of wanting to hide your face to the same degree you’d hide your privates seemed crazy, that being said he couldn’t fully judge him for that when he wouldn’t even talk.

Snapping back to reality, Techno looked away sharply. He might not fully understand why he was hiding his face but he wanted to respect his privacy nonetheless, he knew he’d feel pretty mortified if Dream listened to him talk or something, he guessed it was the same kind of thing.

He hated to admit it, but he had got a glimpse of his face, there was a purple coloured mark that spread over half his face, he wasn’t sure if it was a burn, scar or birthmark since it had been such a short glimpse though. Speckled across his cheeks, light orange freckles decorated his face, reaching from his lips,squeezed shut in embarrassment, to his eyes, wide and wild.

As if it couldn't get any better, apparently the noise of Dream’s fall had been loud enough to alert everyone that they were in the booth and very quickly Wilbur was banging on the door in hysterics. Hiding his face in his dirty palms, Dream attempted to open the door but found that it wasn’t moving.

Well fuck.

To say that Techno felt guilty would be an understatement, not only was Wilbur outside the door, practically taking it off its hinges with the amount of force he was exerting on it, Dream too had got hurt from Techno running off, he had fallen and scraped up his hands but, more importantly, he had broken his mask.

“It’s me and Techno!” Dream had called out, once he realised there was no point waiting for Techno to do it. “I think the door’s stuck”

Wilbur seemed to fumble with the door a little while longer before giving up and leaning against it, his voice sounded like he was in physical pain from not being with Techno, it felt horrible knowing he’d caused this. The brunette gave him simple instructions, one knock for yes and two for no. It was an easy way of communicating when they couldn’t even read body language

“Are you mad at me?”

He knocked twice, why would he be mad? Wil messed up but so had he. They’d both made emotional decisions without regard for the other, they’d screwed each other over and it could have easily been avoided with communication.

That being said, communication was hard when you’re seething with rage, so of course Techno wasn’t mad.

“Did I piss you off?”

Honestly? Yes he had. Whenever Wil, or any of his brothers, did something like this it pissed him off. It had been a small decision but it had hurt him so of course it pissed him off, so he gave one knock, not wanting to lie to his brother about how the situation made him feel. They had had plenty of conversations with their Therapist about how if they aren’t honest, situations can repeat themselves.

The next thing he heard was an apology, then he assumed Wil was talking to the other two members of the Dream Team since the conversation trailed off more into them trying to help him.

He was glad Wil wasn’t alone right now.

Looking behind him, Dream was still curled up, trying to hide his face with his grubby hands but it wasn’t working very well, there were still parts peeking through and that was obviously upsetting him by the way he frantically tried to move them into the right position. Not only that but it wasn’t like his hands were exactly clean either, they probably still had glass on from when he fell and they definitely were still covered in dirt.

The idea of him getting something like that in his eye made his stomach flip so, trying his hardest not to look directly at his face area, Techno took off his red coat and handed it to Dream, making a motion of putting it to his face before sitting down next to him.

Thankfully Dream was smart. He put his face in the hood of the coat and fasted the button on the back of his neck so it wouldn’t fall down.

“God, I bet I look like an idiot don't I?” The boy chuckled, using his hands to smooth it out to make sure nothing was visible.

“Thank you, I know we’ve been kinda the worst to you guys the past few weeks. I know it sounds like an excuse but we really didn’t mean to hurt you, we thought it was all a game y'know? You’re nice though. We kinda think the same, I think”

Techno nodded, Dream was intelligent and strategic and strong, they both had their problems but despite that they both also had their own personalities. While Techno was more reserved in public, being more assertive and confident when he was with his loved ones, Dream was the opposite, strong and assertive until he was comfortable, which is when the insecurities came back.

They were both very similar people, Dream knew they had the capacity to be friends if he worked hard at it.

“You didn’t….You didn’t see anything right?”

Above anything else, Techno hadn’t been expecting him to say that, of course it made sense, he didn’t show his face for a reason, but his demeanor had shifted so easily.

Dream was hard to read, he wasn’t even sure if he should tell the truth here. Lying was bad, he knew that, but sometimes telling the truth could hurt people.

Eventually, after almost a minute of staring blankly, Techno decided telling the truth was always the correct thing to do, even if it hurt in the short term maybe it would be better in the long term.

With extreme hesitancy, Techno nodded his head.

Dream’s breath seemed to hitch.

“It’s just- We moved around so much growing up right? I’ve had that mark for as long as I can remember! But people don’t understand when they see it, they think it’s weird and ugly and they’d always make fun of it when I went to new schools! And then...Then one day I bought a mask and it was so much better! Nobody thought that was ugly, they thought it was weird but weird is better than weird and ugly”

Words seemed to be coming out a mile a minute, if Techno didn’t know better, he would have guessed Dream had never had anyone to vent like this to before. Thinking back, he tried to remember how Phil comforted him whenever he was upset. It was mainly hugs and kind words.

Wrapping an arm around Dream had been the easy part, he may not have an intense craving for contact but if someone was upset he was hardly going to deprive them of it. The hard part was the ‘kind words’ section, for a moment he wondered if he could get away with staying silent but he distinctly remembered that Phil’s kind words were really the main thing that helped.

Fuck

Tuning everything out, Techno tried to focus all of his energy into talking, his throat and tongue felt swollen and his mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton wool. Thinking back yet again, he tried to remember techniques his speech therapist had taught both him and Wilbur. He wasn’t even trying to say anything yet and the sheer thought of talking had him feeling like he might hurl. There was one in particular that he was good at; Wil was supposed to say one number and Techno would say the next and so on. It was designed to slowly ease him into talking without the added stress of accidentally saying the wrong thing.

Wil wasn’t here right now though.

So he tried the next best thing, Dream.

Just rip it off, like a band-aid. Just rip it off, like a band-aid. Just rip it off, like a band-aid.

“One..” he muttered, almost inaudible as anxiety coursed through his veins, praying that Dream would understand what he was trying. Every bone in his body was telling him that he was somehow playing a dangerous game by talking, he just had to keep reminding himself that objectively there was nothing to be afraid of, he reminded himself of how proud Phil would be when he was able to tell him that he had managed it and on his own.

Dream didn’t seem to understand. He just sat staring at Techno with wide eyes, having clearly become accustomed to the boy being silent.

“You spoke?”

Techno nodded and then nodded again, towards his hands, showing one finger, then two fingers a couple times.

“Two?”

The smile on Techno’s face said it all, they’d practiced this technique so many times that he was sure he could get the words out now that Dream knew what they were doing.

“Three.”

Despite his smile and seemingly confident nature, his voice was evident that he was still very much anxious about what was happening.

“Four!”

Dream was smiling too now, not that Techno could see it through the hood, but it showed in his voice. He wasn’t sure if Dream really knew what was happening or if he thought they were counting for fun but he was glad the boy was helping anyway.

Together, they counted up to 30, Techno’s voice very slowly getting more and more confident and stable. By the time they were at 30, Techno’s voice still wasn’t exactly perfect, or nearly as strong as it was when he was with his brothers, but it was decent.

Looking away made talking easier, so he looked at the old rusted shutters and fiddled with his hair, absentmindedly braiding it as he sorted out what he was going to say in his head.

Phil was going to be so proud of him.

“It’s going to be okay. You’ll feel good about it one day”

The words were cut short and stiff, it had felt like he was having to physically push them out of his throat as he said it but God. He was so proud of himself.

“Techno!!” Dream had practically squealed as he hugged the other boy “Thank you so much. I hope you know the same applies to you! One day you’re gonna be as loud as Tommy”

Techno smiled but rolled his eyes at that.

Nobody could ever be as loud as Tommy.

#technoblade #dream #sbi #sleepy bois inc #dream team #fanfic

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madpanda75 · 4 years

Text

“Taking Chances Part 5: Busted”

Find out what happens when Sonny walks in on the reader and Rafael mid-coitus...cause what could be more embarrassing 😳 Also you’ll get some of Sonny’s perspective in this chapter.

Thanks for all the amazing feedback! If anyone wants to be added to my tag list, let me know ❤️

Sonny whistled a tune as he walked down the hallway towards your apartment. The law book. The pancakes. It was all a ruse. You had been avoiding your big brother for weeks. Further confirmed by the fact that you didn’t respond to his text the night before. Something was off and Sonny wanted to find out what it was.

Did he feel guilty about checking up on you? Of course he did, but you were his baby sister. It was only natural for him to be worried and he actually did leave his immigration law book at your apartment. So technically, he did have a valid reason for stopping by. At least that was what he kept telling himself.

While walking Sonny bumped into your neighbors just as they were leaving their home. “Hey...uh…Sandra and Tom, right? It’s Sonny Carisi. I’m just stoppin’ by to check on Y/N.”

Sandra scoffed and shook her head. “Hope you brought your ear plugs.”

Sonny knitted his eyebrows in confusion. “Ear plugs?”

“Good luck, pal.” Tom patted Sonny on the shoulder and left to catch up with his wife.

Sonny glanced between your neighbors and the front door of your home. He could hear the faint sound of music playing inside. Taking out his spare key, he opened your door and stepped inside. “Hello?” He called out, but there was no answer. Sonny assumed you were painting. You always played music whenever you were working on a piece, completely lost in your own creative little universe.

As he headed down the foyer, a wave of relief washed over him. Everything was fine. You were probably busy with the gallery and your art. He was just overreacting. Working at SVU, it was hard not to assume the worst. Unfortunately, the detective was reminded of what happened to people who make assumptions when he turned the corner.

Sonny froze in his tracks, shocked at the scene he was witnessing. There you were laying on a table with your back arched, moaning loudly while a dark-haired man’s head was between your legs. His sweet precious baby sister who would beg him to play Pretty Pretty Princess over and over again; who used to sing in the youth choir at St. Thomas. The teeniest feather could’ve knocked him over in that moment.

“Y/N?!” He exclaimed.

Upon hearing your name, you turned your head. “Sonny!” You screamed and immediately tried to cover yourself.

Sonny was horrified. It was like witnessing a car crash. The most horrific carnage-filled car crash. He silently prayed to God for a sudden bout of hysterical blindness. Although even with his eyes shut, the images he had just seen would forever be seared into his brain. He was going to need trauma counseling and wondered if perhaps his boss’s therapist was available.

Just when Sonny thought it couldn’t get any worse, the head of a certain sharp-tongue, sassy, snarky ADA popped up like some sick version of Whack-A-Mole. The man in question looked almost as stunned as the blue-eyed detective. “Carisi,” Rafael softly said and wiped his chin and lips—which were coated in your arousal.

When Sonny saw Rafael, everything suddenly clicked into place—the recent tardiness, the perfume. It was you. You were the mysterious hook-up the squad had been teasing Rafael about. Sonny choked back the bile rising in his throat and then he saw red. Fury flashed before his eyes. His fists shook with rage. Never in his life had he wanted to hit someone so much as he did right then. “RAFAEL?!” He boomed and dropped his bag of groceries. “What the fuck is goin’ on here?!”

You hopped off the table, quickly picking Rafael’s sweater up off the floor and putting it on.“Sonny?! Get OUT!” You shouted in a shrill voice and stomped your foot like a petulant child.

“Seriously, Y/N?! On Nonna’s table!” Sonny ran a hand through his hair, his eyes were wild.

Rafael cautiously took a step closer, not wanting you to catch all the heat from your big brother. After all it took two to tango and to be fair, he could understand why Carisi was upset. This certainly was not what Rafael had in mind when he wanted to break the news that you and him were dating. “Carisi, I can explain,” he calmly said.

“Explain my ass.” Sonny marched up to Rafael and got right in his face, prodding the ADA in the chest. “That’s my baby sister you’re defiling on a family heirloom,” he growled.

You moved in between the two men, recognizing by the tone in his voice that Rafael was seconds away from getting punched in the face by your brother. “Sonny, calm down.”

“And you!” Sonny looked you up and down while shaking his head in disapproval. “Is this why you’ve been so busy? Cause you’re more interested in fucking some guy than spending time with your own family?”

You drew a sharp intake of breath at his harsh words. Your brother had never spoken to you like that before. You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed, wanting the floor to swallow you up whole.

Rafael saw the hurt in your eyes and something inside him snapped. Before his brain could even process what his body was doing, he pulled his fist back and punched Sonny square in the nose.

“Oh my God!” You stood there with your jaw dropped open, completely stunned—at Sonny, at Rafael, and at Rafael’s fist colliding with Sonny’s face.

Sonny doubled over and pinched the bridge of his nose, tears welling up in his eyes. “My nose!”

“Don’t you dare speak to her like that,” Rafael snarled and clutched his fist, trying to flex his fingers, his knuckles red and swollen. “Fuck, my hand!”

The two men groaned in excruciating pain. You glanced between them, not entirely sure who to go to first, your boyfriend or your brother. “Wow, Ma was right,” you mumbled to yourself. “Men really are just overgrown children.”

Sonny glared at Rafael, his nose bleeding profusely and began to lunge at him with his fist in the air ready to counter-attack. Thankfully, you were prepared this time and jumped in between them both with your arms outstretched, palms pressing against each of their chests as you pushed them off each other.

“STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!” You turned and pointed to Rafael. “You sit DOWN and don’t move. I’ll be right back.” Rafael immediately followed your orders, kind of turned on by your dominant side shining through, but now was not the time to tell you that.

You then turned to your brother. “You. Bathroom. NOW!” Sonny wouldn’t budge, muttering to himself in Italian as he tried to wipe the blood off his nose. “NOW!” You smacked him upside the head.

“Ow! Ok, I’m goin’! I’m goin!’” He held his hands up in surrender and headed down the hallway.

“Put those long limbs of yours to good use and walk a little faster then!” You said, hot on his heels.

Rafael could hear you both bickering all the way to the bathroom, your normally non-existent Staten Island accent coming out in full force. It was strange. He had never really noticed a family resemblance between you and Sonny until now.

*****

Sonny sat on the edge of your tub, nursing his swollen, tender nose. To stop the bleeding, you split a tampon in half and shoved each part up his nostrils. It wasn’t broken, but bruising was already beginning to form. He was gonna have a great time trying to explain two black eyes and a bashed-in nose to the squad on Monday morning. Who knew Rafael had such a killer right hook?

You walked into the bathroom—now dressed in your own clothes—and silently handed him a bag of frozen corn. In order to keep the peace, you had to put Sonny and Rafael in timeout. If it worked for your nieces and nephews, it would certainly work for your brother and your boyfriend.

“Thanks,” he muttered and held the frozen vegetables up to his face, wincing in pain. “Where’s Barba?”

“Still sitting at the table with his hand under a bag of frozen peas. You both owe me for groceries by the way.” You stood there, studying the tiled floor in silence before clearing your throat. “I better go check on Rafael.”

Just as you were about to leave, Sonny took hold of your hand. “Y/N, wait a sec, will ya’?”

You pulled out of his grasp and turned to face him, crossing your arms. “What is it?”

Sonny sighed and looked up at you with black eyes and a bloody nose. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I shoulda’ never said that. It’s just when I saw you and Barba. I freaked out. Please forgive me.”

You mulled over his apology for a moment, worrying your bottom lip. “I forgive you,” you replied before punching him hard in the left shoulder. Rafael had nothing on you. Over the years, your brother had done a stellar job teaching you how to fight. You may have been the creative, sensitive artist, but you could also quit your day job and become an MMA cage fighter if you wanted to.

“Ow! Jeezus!” He hissed in pain. “What was that for? I said I was sorry!”

“Rafael got a hit in and now it’s my turn.” You clutched your brother by the collar. “Don’t ever speak to me like that again or I’ll do worse. I’m a grown-ass woman and this is my home. My boyfriend can eat me out cafeteria-style and make me cum until I scream if I want him to!”

“Oh God! I didn’t need to hear that! Please do me a favor. Take somethin’ sharp and pointy and gouge out my eyeballs and puncture my eardrums, will ya’? Haven’t I been punished enough?” He groaned.

“For barging into my home and embarrassing me in front of Rafael? No, you haven’t.” You let go of Sonny’s shirt and sat down next to him, taking the bag of frozen corn and bringing it back up to his face. Your expression softened a bit. You loved Sonny with all your heart. His recent outburst aside, he was the best big brother a girl could ask for. “I shoulda never given you a spare key.”

“How did you two even meet?” He asked.

You shrugged. “He stopped by the gallery one day and then I ran into him again that night you and I were supposed to get dinner. The rest is history.” You softly smiled, thinking back to that first embarrassing encounter with Rafael and everything that followed. That first drink. That first kiss. Reflecting back on this past month, you realized that slowly but surely Rafael had changed your life for the better. “Guess you kinda had a part to play in all this. If it wasn’t for you cancelling on me. We may have never gotten together.”

Sonny pushed your hand away from his face. “Don’t say that. I don’t want to be responsible for this.” He sadly shook his head and got up. “I better get goin’.”

“Sonny, wait!” You followed him out of the bathroom and down the hallway.

He ignored you, tossing the bag of frozen corn on the table where Rafael was still sitting, flipping through Sonny’s immigration law book.

“Here’s your book,” Rafael said, handing it over.

“Thanks,” he sneered and snatched the book out of Rafael’s hands before heading to the door.

“Carisi!” Rafael called out.

Sonny whipped around to find the ADA right behind him. “What?”

“You have a tampon up your nose,” Rafael coldly replied.

Sonny’s cheeks turned bright red. He pulled the tampon out of his nostrils and tossed it on the ground before leaving.

You flinched when you heard the door slam and crept up beside Rafael. Wrapping his arms around you, he kissed the top of your head and sighed. “I hate to say it, but I knew we should’ve told him earlier.”

@glimmerglittergirl @southern-magnolia @sweetcannolicarisi @delia26 @obfuscateyummy @sass-and-suspenders @eclecticminded @thatesqcrush @katmstanton @amirightcounsellor @beltzboys2015-blog @letty-o @sonnysdoll @lyssa1385 @sweetsummertime99 @burningsorr0ws @gibbs274 @izzythefanfreak @riodallas @babypink224221 @livxrafa @esparza-army @obsessionprofessional @ottosuricato @melsquared79 @dreila03 @frenchiefoxy @tropes-and-tales @thecraziestcrayon @goodluckfindingone @scarlettsoldier @amirightcounselor @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii @graniairish @ashley-chi @imjustreallynosy @lolacolaempath

#rafael barba #rafael barba fanfic #rafael barba fic #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #barba #barba fanfic #barba fic #barba x reader #law and order svu imagine #barba imagine #rafael barba fan fiction #law and order svu fic #taking chances

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