#poorly done music reviews

[anakinsafterlife]

Thoughts on Dune Part 2

All right, friends. Dune Part 2. I absolutely picked the wrong time to start wanting to return to Tumblr, since I'm currently in the thick of Ramadan, but c'est la vie. I'm a bit worried that if I don't review now that I might forget my specific impressions of the movie, though I have to say that if this weren't Ramadan that I absolutely would be going back to see it again in the cinema, which says a lot considering that it's been at least ten years since I've actually wanted to go back and repeat a film instead of just waiting for it to come out on streaming/DVD.

So the movie is good. It is in fact very, very good. It's the Empire Strikes Back of the Dune duology (possibly trilogy), and (much like Empire) in terms of cinematography, music, scripting and acting it's nearly flawless. There are, however, issues, things that might not occur to a majority-Western audience but which are immediately clear to anyone who either comes from an Arab or Muslim background.

What follows here is a deep dive into some of the historical and cultural sources of Dune and some of the ways in which the movie producers, and in some cases fans, have failed to acknowledge those sources.

First of all, it's obvious that the Fremen are meant to be based on the Arabs, but of the the entire main cast there is only ONE actor with an Arab background, and that is Souhaila Yacoub, the half-Tunisian actress who plays Shishakli, the female Fremen warrior who is executed by the Harkonnens. Now, I have to say that this woman was fantastic. Her attitude is completely on point for an Arab, especially a North African Arab: forceful, loud, a bit brash and mocking even under fire. Nicely done. Points to the producers there, but I have to take that point away again because she is literally the only Space Arab who is actually Arab. Javier Bardem, the Spanish actor who plays Stilgard, does have some interesting moments and one of the reasons why I feel that the screenwriters were advised on Arabic traditions/culture. The incident during which he warns Paul about the Jinn in the desert like it's a joke but then immediately turns extremely serious when Paul starts smiling is so in character for an Arab and honestly just a brilliant bit of scripting, but much of the time he also acted more or less like what people *think* a fanatical religious Arab acts like--loud, frantic and unstable.

Not only this, but the "Muslim" behaviour/traditions in the film are at best...vague. People are praying, but in any direction at all. I do realize that this would be a complicated issue on another planet, where the Ka'aba couldn't be pointed to, but there are Islamic rulings for EVERYTHING. Check out the one about praying in space:

Even if they had as a society simply picked a random direction for prayer, they should all be praying at the same time and in the same direction (they seem to do this in larger crowds, but not in the smaller group where we first see people praying). They also definitely shouldn't be talking during prayer or trying to make other people talk to them during prayer (as Chani does), since talking breaks your prayer and you have to start over all over again (during obligatory prayers).

Language, too, is an issue, and a big one, because while I do understand that a conlang was developed for use in this movie, the linguists consulted did know that the language was meant to be heavily influenced by Arabic. Consequently, they've included a lot of fragmentary Arabic in their work. Unfortunately this Arabic is poorly pronounced at best, to the point where I was looking words up and laughing at what they're meant to be based on. For example, "Shai Hulud," the word for the Worms, is based on the Arabicشيء خلود, which means "immortal thing," and should be pronounced with "shai" rhyming with "say" followed by a glottal stop, and the 'h' in "Hulood" is actually a guttural sound like the infamous "ch" in Bach, followed by a long U. Another example is Mua'dib مهذب , a real word in Arabic that means "teacher," but is is actually pronounced with a "th" sound instead of a d and emphasis on the second syllable, not on the last as in French. (Note: I made an error here. There is a word مؤدب , pronounced mostly the same in the movie, but with a glottal stop after the 'u' sound and a short 'i' after the d sound rather than a long vowel, that is usually used to mean polite, urbane, gentlemanly, etc. but which can also mean teacher, although I have never heard it used in this context) "Usul", أصول, Paul's other Fremen name, was likely not, as I had previously guessed, based on the word "Rasool," meaning Prophet, but on أصول الفقه the Principles of islamic Jurisprudence, which also ties directly into a religious/prophetic them. Again, this is pronounced on the long vowel, so with a short first U and a long second U.

I've included the Arabic spellings in here, by the way, so that you can drop them into Google translator and hear how they actually sound.

Now, I do realize that the story itself is set 8000 years in the future and that spoken Arabic as a language would have changed considerably in that time, if it existed still at all, but Arabic is a liturgical language as well as a vehicle for conversation, and Muslims all across the world today use it as a tool for worship. Muslims who have no cultural connection with Arabic often still learn it in order to connect more deeply with religious traditions and simply to perform prayers and other religious duties. Religious scholars consider it to be a necessary duty of the Muslim to learn at least some Arabic:

And keep in mind that the Arabic spoken today across the MENA region is very different (and different in different places) to the Arabic spoken 1400 years ago by the Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him). Given Islamic traditions, the chances of the Fremen using liturgical/classical Arabic for their worship would be quite high, even if their spoken language had evolved past the point of being recognizably Arabic.

Keep in mind, also, that Dune as a whole is an allegory for colonialism, economic exploitation of poorer nations (or making rival nations poor through the same), as well as dehumanization of the views and needs of native peoples in order to make that exploitation palatable to the occupying forces (I thought that this was done quite smartly in Jessica's part of the story; although she is sympathetic to the Fremen, she feels that manipulating their religious traditions is the best way to protect her son, and in doing so she allows herself to dehumanize the people who come to rely on her).

It is, therefore, incumbent upon us not to distance ourselves too much from the intended message by claiming that Dune is fiction and need not too accurately reflect the culture and religion of the people that the Fremen are so clearly based on. The fact that the producers have done little to hire Arab actors or induced any real effort to accurately pronounce the Arabic words or accurately portrayal Islamic practices seems to indicate that they are concerned about identifying too closely with the economic and cultural struggle between East and West, properly because they fear the potential economic backlash, and this despite the fact that Frank Herbert clearly wrote his book to illustrate the fallout of that struggle.

Here is a wonderful article written by a culturally Arab woman:

There are numerous other articles addressing the same issues, but I like this one because it's written by a Muslim woman, who also addresses the "hijab cosplaying" in the movie. I didn't get into that much, but I definitely recognize that it's a problem when Muslim women worry about potential violence while wearing hijab in the streets of Western nations, but the same article of clothing is fetishized in movies and fashion.

I've also seen some comment about the Mahdi mention in particular. This is a saviour-figure in Islam who will come near the end of the world. There is no emphasis on this figure in Sunni Islam, but Shias seem to have a significant body of literature concerning this figure and, from what I understand, believe that he may perhaps have already come, and so there has been some poor reception in that community to applying the label of Mahdi to Paul. Criticisms ranging from insensitivity to outright blasphemy have been levelled regarding this usage. Now, there was some tip-toeing around the prophetic theme in Dune, and rightly so, I believe, since the Prophet Mohamed is the "seal of the prophets" in Islam, meaning the last and final. The fact that Paul was essentially set up as a false prophet by the Bene Gesserit does avoid some of the potential fallout from this, and also makes sense of Chani's rejection at the end of the film, since she felt strongly about Paul acting as a false Prophet.

Again, I am aware that there is internal cosmology within the series itself, and that some fans object to the religion of the Fremen being referred to as Islam, but when the inspiration for the entire ethnicity, religion, and the natural resources at stake are as clear as they are in this series, it's also futile to expect that people will not draw those associations, nor that people belonging to the religion or ethnic group in question may not acknowledge the beauty of the movie, the gorgeous cinematography, rousing music, and tightly plotted story, but still take exception to what is clearly Orientalism.

And it is frankly such a shame that we have to place this movie under that header, because the story of Dune is so sympathetic to the Middle East and its peoples, and as I said in the beginning I actually loved the film and found it very beautiful. It was also exciting to see Islamic themes used creatively in mainstream media, but while Frank Herbert clearly wrote the story as an exposition on the exploitation of natural resources, particularly oil, in the MENA region, the truth is that the racism and exploitation that he was protesting are very much alive today and contribute to the oppression of millions. It's particularly disappointing to see the message of the movie sail over the heads of people watching it when Arab Muslims in Palestine are being dehumanized and obliterated at this very moment, and while Libya was one of the latest Arab nations to be targeted for its oil resources, only a decade ago, with European oil companies moving in directly after the downfall of Ghadafi (which makes the timing extremely suspicious, one might say):

And even after the US finished their occupation of Iraq, Western oil companies remained en mass to continued drilling:

Egypt to this day remains economically destabilized while Western nations exploit its oil stocks, to no benefit at all of its peoples:

I'm sure I could cite dozens of other cases, but it's clear that there is a one-on-one parallel between spice melange and oil, making any protests of apoliticism in an inherently political story utterly vain.

I could go on, but I needn't. In short, this beautiful movie could have done so much good even beyond its obvious artistic merits, but instead it is still towing the political line. Much as was the case for Jessica and Paul, sometimes you can be a Harkonnen and not know it.

#dune #dune part 2 #meta #islam #arabic #history #orientalism #paul atreides #lady jessica #chani kynes #oil drilling #colonialism #arrakis #north africa #the middle east

[beautifulpersonpeach]

He put crack in this song.

Does anyone else sit with the fact that, besides the choir, every voice heard on Set Me Free Pt 2 belongs to Jimin?

(Jimin, the man you are...)

You know, I used to wonder why Yoongi chose Tony Montana as the song to have Jimin rap on. This was way back, when I didn't really pay attention to Jimin, and I felt Jimin should be the last person to feature on a track like that. Tony Montana is one of the most disgusting songs in Yoongi's discography. It's so nasty. I'm talking gutter trap, filthy distortion... not even Yankie (the original featuring artist) could do that beat justice, and that's the song Yoongi gave Jimin.

Yoongi knew...

(He's an animal)

Yoongi knew that Jimin would work magic on a track like Tony Montana, and be fully in his element. Jimin is very similar to Yoongi in that way, and this is even more clear after SMF Pt 2. Yoonmin both use autotune to represent the voices in their heads, to colour whole personalities, to exhibit their alter-egos, both benevolent and malicious. Yoongi's mastery of that tool has only enhanced his credibility as an MC, and if there's any member who can one day match Yoongi's proficiency in using that stylistic tool, it's Jimin. Because already, with his first ever song as a solo artist, Jimin has painted such an arresting picture using that tool.

When SMF Pt 2 first dropped, I thought there were only two voices in the song: the autotuned voice saying Jimin's inner thoughts, and the normal voice singing the topline of the song. Now, I hear four distinct voices:

The voice representing reckless ambition - “I never stop, I never stop / Ah yeah, ah yeah”

The voice representing impatience and anger - "Hey fool, just get out of my way / Shut up, fuck off / I’m on my way"

The voice representing the exponent - "Enemy / Better be"

The voice representing clarity, acceptance, and triumph - "날 비웃어도 멈추지 않아"

Even with the autotune, Jimin uses it in three very different ways to express three different voices in his head - all of which are wholly Jimin, but he closes off the whole affair in his own voice, the one that's least processed on the song, the voice that represents his triumph and determination to forge his own path.

(Called it)

It's been weeks and I'm still obsessed with Jimin's delivery of those voices. His voice is addicting. No member in BTS can sing "Fuck all your opps" the way Jimin does.

Speaking of opps...

I've seen your asks about our old friend, William, and I haven't responded because a big part of me doesn't care. I don't want to be dismissive of the people who are angry that William excluded ~100k units in sales for Jimin (and Jimin only, going by the placements of other k-artists on the chart) in the second week of tracking. I agree with you that it's annoying because as it always is with BTS, the rules have been selectively applied, Jimin's work and achievement has been made to look less legitimate, and this is happening while the same organization highlights and celebrates other k-artists who haven't just fallen off the chart, but also performed poorly in critics reviews, so a.k.a. mediaplay.

I feel the frustration too but at the same time, when has the playing field ever been equal for BTS? It feels like a rite of passage for new fans to experience at least one 'what the fuck just happened?' moment when it comes to how blatant the subversion is for BTS.

But I don't care to harp on about it because (1) It's unproductive, (2) I'm neck-deep in FACE, (3) I just kinda believe Jimin.

He's not stopping. He plans to continue making music even if it hurts and even if people mock him. And I plan to keep listening to him for as long as he feels he has something to say. Jimin has already made his mark, and like everything else he does, he's done it in record time in spite of all the handicaps. He knows his fans love his work, he knows he's gotten critical acclaim for his efforts, and he knows the industry has never been a friend - he's not new to William's antics. Jimin is fine.

(...more than fine. Just look at that man. God. He was born to own the stage)

The fandom is another matter lol. ARMYs will need to figure out how to adapt, the way the fandom has always found ways to adapt, but I don't know if this will happen before the implosion or afterwards.

Either way it's only a matter of time before Jimin comes back with another project that ends k-pop and wins hearts, saves souls, and makes babies. The world can decide whether or not to make room for him to settle at the top and it wouldn't matter, because Jimin means it when he says he makes his own way. And I intend to support him as an artist his entire career. It's me and him. The rest of you can choose to join in or not.

(A performer)

Everything about Set Me Free Pt 2 feels extreme. Every single thing about it. The brass. The haunting, wailing, choral chants. The autotune... There are so many choices Jimin could have made on that song: he could've tempered the aggression with an intermission of his feather-light vocals the way he does on Face Off, he could have emphasized his points by having the instrumentals bottom out the way it does on Alone, he could have gone about SMF Pt 2 in a million other ways, but he chose the most audacious sound to declare that from here on out, he's playing by his own rules, making art on his own terms, and everyone else is just going to have to get used to the idea.

(*The performer)

*

For the Anon surprised that Jimin knows about Rilke, but went on to diss Joon in the same ask... what did you think Jimin was doing with Namjoon all those times they'd hang out and talk about life? Namjoon is the bonafide Rilke fanboy in BTS, has been sharing Rilke's works and poems with fans and the members for at least six years now, but it's suddenly surprising Jimin looked up poems to fit the theme of his song and went with Rilke? Y'all need to start paying attention to how your biases interact with every other member in BTS, not just the members you like.

#I'm writing this because it's been weeks and I still can't get over Jimin's alt-voices. #I'm so impressed with FACE #Jimin has done well #Clearing my drafts ahead of D-DAY #Jimin #park jimin

[rogueddie]

Stranger Things: The First Shadow

This is going to be a full review; starting with production, some characterization issues and some of the plot holes.

But, before I get into the spoilers, I would just like to clarify my biggest issue; these characters are not the same characters that we see in the show. Every play demands suspension of disbelief, but it was completely impossible with this play.

I knew the play would be bad when I got my tickets. I didn't think I would have a bad time watching it.

warning; I am about to level a truly gruesome amount of critisism at the stage show. if you liked it, I'm glad you did; this is just my opinion and experience xoxo

My Review:

The production was, physically, beautiful. The designs and use of space was extremely well done. Some of the ways they used the screens and projections was stunning. It had the potential to add a lot to the story.

The sets are easily the strongest part of the production. The use of screens, levels and painted background- especially in the introduction- were stunning. It doesn't feel overwhelming and it makes it almost easy to remain engaged in both scenes playing out at once.

The design for the lab, too, is extremely well made. Having a box that can be rolled onto the stage is the perfect idea for the scene- it appears even smaller thanks to the contrast with the larger stage and the bright lights in white walls, the set feels ominous.

Unfortunately, the production ended up sabotaging itself. They default to special effects, screens and pyrotechnics to create the experience instead of trusting their designs or actors. It makes it seem like they are trying to hide their designs instead of enhancing them.

The introduction scene is the perfect example. The smoke machine initially added to the scene, it added an element of reality that could have drawn the audience in.

But, with how the smoke machine was overused, it ended up hiding the second set used in the "boat scene". In the stalls, I could barely see anything and was drawn out of the show completely and immediately- instead of watching a play, suddenly I'm worrying about whether I need to get my inhaler or not.

They overused everything. The screens were used so often that I have to wonder why they didn't just make a short movie instead of a play.

Similarly, the pyrotechnics were immediately overused- the first scene should not be making me wonder if you are using all of the visually compelling tricks in the first five minutes. But to keep using them at the same frequency? It makes it seem like you are more interested in making something look cool and care very little for the story you are supposed to be telling.

The lighting and music was simply poor. Half the time I couldn't hear what the actors were saying due to the music blasting at a painfully loud volume and, in scenes where the actors are clearly giving a brilliant performance, they are so poorly lit that they might as well not bother.

The poor lighting was very similar the show though. Props to them for managing that horrendous feat.

The directing definitely didn't help. The actors use of space is so poor and unnatural that, at least, I hope it was the director.

The lab set, for example; the actors both left the box set made. Henry's character roams the entire length of the stage, which makes the small lab set feel entirely pointless. His character never feels trapped or in any way boxed in by the box set. Instead of adding to the scene, it takes away- it's a giant set design that is ignored or takes up space in a way that is obtrusive.

On a positive note, I would like to point out that most of the actors did a phenomenol job. But I would especially like to emphasize how well Anika Boyle, Christopher Buckley, Oscar Lloyd, Louis McCartney and Isabella Pappas did. I can't wait to see what they do next.

Unfortunately, they're brilliant performances could do nothing to save a script that had already doomed them and their characters.

Doctor Brenner is easily the biggest problem when it comes to the characters. I'm not sure if it was the actor, the director or simply the writing, but he is the worst part of the entire play. He has no discernible motivation, none of his actions make sense with his character- if he can even be called a character. The show twists him so much that he becomes a caricature that bares no resemblence to the Doctor Brenner we see in the show.

Throughout the show, he's constantly encouraging Henry to kill. Literally, he verbally tells Henry to kill people. It's completely different to the sly and manipulative Brenner we see in the show- and not in a way that would make sense for him to have evolved from the stage Brenner to the show Brenner.

"Kill her," Doctor Brenner, The First Shadow, 2k23. Why does he say this? Uh... he wants the big scary interdimensional monster. Why does he want that? Uh... HEY, LOOK OVER THERE, PYROTECHNICS!

Henry Creels issues mostly stem from plot holes and retconning well established canon. In the show, he is not a victim and that fact is made abundantly clear. It's not that he's tricked into thinking he's in control, he simply is. The stage show tries to completely turn that on it's head and make him the poor little victim to something that, in canon, he made.

If he was a different character, or if we are to take the stage show as an au of sorts, I think he's pretty well written. His motivations and powers are well established. We, as the audience, understand his thought process. He is a believable character... even if the 'siezures' do often come across as nonsensical, borderline silly.

Hopper, Joyce and Bob were almost perfect too. It's something that has been slowly irritating me more and more- they could have easily been the protagonists, taking attention away from plot holes and poor characterization. They were strong enough as a trio and well written enough to be- almost- convincing.

I'm not sure how to explain my issues with Hoppers character in the show without it boiling down to 'dissappointing'. Nothing about the arc he goes through makes sense to me and it feels like the show forced him into the ending he had simply to remind the audience of the show, despite it making no sense with the story or arc that his character went through during the show.

My issues with Joyce are both- it breaks canon for her to know so much, so intimately, and her ending is also incredibly forced. The budding enemies-to-lovers that she had with Hopper also led to the ending feeling unsatisfying. It feels like the growth is for nothing.

The characters in the background too, somehow, are full of just as many flaws.

Claudia is the perfect example. When her cat is killed by Henry, she is immediately ready to start a literal witch hunt. She's insistant and frequant about it. There's even a small scene where she is seen to be irritating with how much she brings up her witch theory.

Yet, she stops talking about that very suddenly. She doesn't express as much as distaste for the play- about witches and killing. She's actually excited.

Her pets death and her character are important, but only until the plot demands she be quiet so they can move on, hoping that the audience will somehow forget this somewhat major B plot.

I could go on forever about the characters. A lot of the plot holes stem from how poorly they're handled and how much they immediately change to fit the narrative around Henry. None of them act like people and the play does not treat any of them like they, as characters, matter at all. They are just people to fill the space whilst Henry and Patty have a love story.

But, even then, the characters the play seems to care about are completely mishandled as well.

Joyce, in her introduction, spends most of in trousers and a bra. She's supposed to be a student in high school. It feels weird to ask your audience to watch someone standing on a stage in their underwear whilst also asking them to believe she is underage. It is so incredibly uncomfortable to think about. She didn't need to be topless for as long as she was.

Pattys ending made no sense. She died, but also she went to see her mother. So... she's alive? But also she's dead. But she's there, physically, so she must be alive... but also it's made clear that she died.

Eleven being 10(ish?) in the end made no sense with the timeline. They reduce characters to badly told jokes; Ted the idiot and Karen the blonde "slut".

I don't have the energy to go over the plot. There are so many holes and problems that it would take forever to deal with act one alone.

But, to summerize; this play had a lot of potential. There are parts that were almost brilliant and there are a lot of incredibly talented people working on it behind the scenes. The way all of that talent and potential is wasted for something as simple as lack of effort in the writing and directing? Dissappointing is not a harsh enough word.

0.5 / 10

#stranger things #the first shadow #tfs

[marybeatriceofmodena]

What was that crazy music video type thing you included on that post about ALW being an ass to Patti Lupone? I have never seen that before and I am both intrigued and horrified. I only recently got into Phantom, and all this craziness is just delighting me. 😂

For context, this is the video referred to in this ask:

This was a promo video done in 1985 (I think), to promote Phantom. Those are the original lyrics by Richard Stilgoe, which he wrote before Charles Hart was involved. You'll recognize a few here and there, but a lot of them are... weird, to say the least (weird enough for Cameron "Satan" Mackintosh to tell ALW to either find someone to help out Stilgoe, either outright fire him, or else he wouldn't produce Phantom anymore. And given it was proving to be a VERY costly show to make, even ALW knew losing CamMack was a no-no).

The staging is also different, because Trevor Nunn was the director at this point. And that's another funny (HA) story: ALW and Cameron Mackintosh had initially got Hal Prince to direct. And for those of you who don't know, Hal Prince is basically to musicals what Steven Spielberg is to cinema. He directed some of the most successful musicals of the latter half of the 20th century: Evita, Sweeney Todd, Fiddler on the Roof, West Side Story, Cabaret, Company... and that's the list of musicals I know even the uninitiated will recognize. So one day, on a whim, ALW decided to fire Hal Prince, which went about as well as you might expect: ALW chickened out of the dinner where he and CamMack were supposed to break the news to him, which led to CamMack having to sheepishly break the news to Hal Prince, who stormed out furious (AS HE SHOULD). Again, imagine yourself firing Steven Spielberg from making Saving Private Ryan and replacing him with, I dunno, the Russo brothers because The Avengers made a shit ton of money.

Why? My guess is that Hal Prince had the balls to tell ALW to stick it whenever he'd bring bad ideas on the table, so ALW basically decided to replace Hal Prince with the director for one of his previous musicals, Trevor Nunn (who is a decent director, mind you, making the comparison to the Russo brothers a little harsh).

Which musical was it, mind you? CATS.

IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO CATS.

And Steve Harley? He was a rock singer who got picked up along the way because they urgently needed someone to play the Phantom in the music video, and full offense but he's a worse singer than Gerald Butler in my opinion, and at least the latter could actually act. ALW realized that they needed someone else, and he basically smuggled the score to a comedic actor called Michael Crawford, who had some prior experience singing in musicals (he's in the film adaptations of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum and Hello Dolly, if you're interested), but he wasn't exactly the guy you'd think of for the Phantom? Thankfully, he proved everyone who might have doubted him wrong, and amazingly at that, but he was a gamble at the time nonetheless.

And as you may guess, the music video was kind of poorly received, and Trevor Nunn worked on a little musical called Les Misérables, which got piss poor reviews and ALW was at the head of them (CLASS ACT, THAT FELLOW). But the uneducated, unwashed plebs loved it so I guess that's the reason why it's still playing today, and not because it's one of the most beautiful scores ever written for musical theatre, summing up a 1,000 book perfectly and conveying emotions that could make angels cry, nah. /s Anyway, that led to ALW firing Trevor Nunn, and begging Hal Prince to come back, and he agreed - which really goes to show how gracious he is because I would have laughed in ALW's face.

And what happened to Steve Harley, you may ask? He found out with a call from CamMack that he was fired, with no explanation whatsoever, and it was only later that he found out Michael Crawford had replaced him. I mean, was it for the best? Yeah. Do I still feel kind of bad for Steve Harley? Yeah.

So yeah, thank your lucky stars Hal Prince, Charles Hart and Michael Crawford agreed to be in this. I'd also add Maria Bjornson, but I really wonder now how she got involved in the first place because if that came from ALW, that might be the single best decision he ever made in his entire life. But I don't have any trust in him whatsoever to pull that off lmao

#lord-valery-mimes #phantom of the opera #Andrew Lloyd Webber #Hal Prince #Cameron Mackintosh #Charles Hart #Richard Stilgoe #Trevor Nunn #Michael Crawford #Steve Harley #and now you know

[piratical-princess]

More bad (or in some cases pretty good) Xmas movie reviews here! I’ve tried some odd ones.

EDITED TO INCLUDE:

Christmas on Mistletoe Farm: This was EFFING CUTE. Super British. Quirky kids in hand knitted stuff and big Wellies. Baby barn animals everywhere. Comedic English overacting. As charming as a mouse in a teapot. I would watch it every year twice. The colors alone are scrumptious. 9/10

* Christmas Inheritance - As stereotypical as Christmas romance movies get. Small town, lonely innkeeper, main character returns to town to find the magic of Christmas by helping with some pageant or festival or whatnot. Bland but mainly pleasant but stop making characters do that slow head shake while sincerely singing thing, it’s weird . 4/10

A Christmas Movie Christmas - A fun swing at typical Christmas movies. Christmas magic transports two sisters into a Christmas movie of their own where they wake up every day with their hair and makeup already done and cookies already baked. Parts of it are funny, but it led me to the disturbing revelation that all B actors wear false teeth. 6/10

Christmas Chronicles 2: I was excited for this. Hot Santa, Belsneckel, Yule Cat. Nope. Bad. Please don’t bother, you’ll soil the first movie. 1/10

Dash & Lily : in spite of being about New York, this short series is really good and sweet. It’s a scavenger hunt of literature and romance and the art of loving your own weirdness against the backdrop of Christmas. It’s charming and colorful. Definitely not perfect, it is a high school aged series based on YA romance and that can sometimes lead to “youthful” acting, but it is good and I appreciated it and the music was superb. 9/10

Noelle - dang, I really liked this. It seems a discredit to say it’s like a gender bent Elf, but that is the broadest definition. Very warm and loving. 10/10

Scrooge: A Christmas Carol - this is the animated Netflix version. I have mixed feelings. I thought they took the art in some really interesting places. I thought the music was pretty terrible. I thought they did the lower budget animation thing where some characters look amazing and some look poorly thought out. I thought Scrooge was weirdly hot. 6/10

Mickey and Friends: Duck The Halls - Newer style of Mickey Mouse animation that is part Ren and Stimpy and part midcentury modern, which is awesome. Donald Duck stays in the snowy north for the winter and literally falls apart from the cold, lots of body horror. Hilarious. 10/10

Jingle All The Way - I know, it is weird that as a 90s kid, I had never seen this. I was promised a bad movie and I’m slightly disappointed that I loved the hell out of it. From Arnold expecting us to believe that he works in mattress sales and saying “you’re my numbah one custahmahh” with a cheesy grin to a brawl of underground gang Santas to Phil Hartman having the balls to hit on Arnold’s wife and moaning obscenely over the phone about how good her cookies are while Arnold yells “PUT DAT COOKIE DOWN”, it’s all amazing. But really the best part is the unexpectedly complex buildup of a real hero/villain relationship - the connection, the offer of friendship that gets rejected, the ensuing battle that becomes an insane bid for revenge, culminating in a real costumed fight that ends - in the true spirit of Christmas - with the police hauling away a grown man in a latex bodysuit clutching a toy he has ruthlessly stolen from a child that would grow up to become Darth Vader. 15/10

#Christmas #movies

[shiveringsoldier]

I wrote an 1100-word review/essay about Dunkirk (2017) on a whim. Please enjoy.

-

-All we did is survive.

-That’s enough.

 I don’t know if I can truly articulate just how much I adore this film, but I’ll try.

I’ll start with the tone. The tension is palpable from the first frame to the last. Even in the seemingly calm moments, the unease remains. Something seems off, or you sense the possibility that at any moment things can go horribly wrong. One can only sustain a suspenseful tone for so long, and Dunkirk is the perfect length for it.

The score and sound design do a lot to maintain that tone. The first two or three times I saw this film, I quite literally jumped at the first round of gunfire. The scream of the Stukas is terrifying, and the screams of soldiers under attack are jarring. Even when things are quiet, sound is a dead giveaway for things to come, whether it’s the barely perceptible rustle of an oncoming torpedo or trickles of water escalating to a flooded ship. The score is more about mood than melody. The use of tritones and the Shepard tone illusion add to the unease and tension, and the momentary triumph in the score as the little ships arrive feels so incredibly earned. This even continues through the end credits, with the score beginning with the more triumphant music and ending with Shivering Soldier’s leitmotif.

The cinematography is immaculate, from the aerial shots to the close-ups to the lighting to the blue and yellow color palette. I like the different timelines and the way they all come together for the climax and resolution. Everyone in the cast delivers a top-notch performance. And the minimal dialogue is so realistic. I love that there are no eloquent speeches or monologues. I love that we hear Churchill’s speech not through Churchill’s mouth but through a monotone reading from an exhausted Tommy. Collins and Farrier only communicate in compliance with RAF protocol. The communication among Tommy, Gibson, and Alex is largely nonverbal, mostly through glances and nods. The most verbal characters (Mr. Dawson, Peter, and George) are the ones who have known each other the longest. The first time I watched Dunkirk, I don’t think I noticed that Gibson hadn’t said anything until Alex pointed it out, but I guess that goes to show the effectiveness of the minimal dialogue.

A common criticism of the film, at least in 2017, is that the characters are poorly defined. I have never shared that issue. Despite the lack of extensive backstory – and, in some cases, the lack of names – for everyone except the Dawsons and George, I found myself deeply invested in every character the first time I saw this film back in July 2017, and I have found myself becoming even more invested over time. One video essay I saw says the characters in the film are defined by their actions, and I think that’s a very accurate assessment. We see that Gibson is resourceful. Collins is not as experienced as Farrier. Farrier’s stoic veneer occasionally cracks. Shivering Soldier appears to have been confident and practical prior to his traumatic event. Commander Bolton is calm and authoritative. Colonel Winnant keeps his composure despite his growing stress and despair. Tommy is aware of his surroundings. Alex is prone to paranoia and low self-esteem. Plus every character is driven by the inherently human need to survive and/or to help others. All of this is more than enough to get me invested.

Speaking of help, this film is filled with small but impactful moments of kindness. Tommy helps Gibson bury a body, and Gibson offers him water once the deed is done. Civilians offer food, tea, blankets, life jackets, and words of encouragement to weary soldiers. Soldiers treat dead bodies floating in the water with deference. Collins greets Peter with “Afternoon” after Peter rescues him. Mr. Dawson’s first action after rescuing Shivering Soldier is to ask him his name. Peter later lies to that same soldier to protect his feelings. No one can do anything to make this horrible situation go away, but everyone does what little they can to make the situation a little more bearable.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t talk at some length about Shivering Soldier, my favorite character from this film and one of my favorite characters period. He had my heart from the moment I saw him crouched atop the hull of the sunken ship, and my love for him has only grown over time. He doesn’t get a name, but he does get his own track in the score. We have only a vague idea of the trauma he’s experienced, but the flashback scene tells us it must have been something truly horrific. I’ve heard a couple of people say they didn’t even realize it was the same character at first. It is horrifying to think about his journey from escape to near death to rescue only to be forced to return to the hell from which he so desperately needs to escape. And as someone who survived multiple traumatic events in a span of about 13 months, I find myself relating almost uncomfortably to him.

I can’t speak highly enough about Cillian Murphy’s performance. He may not have terribly many lines, but he tells you everything with his eyes and his body language and the way he retreats into himself and recoils at the slightest provocation. I love that his panic builds up gradually rather than all at once. You know that it’s only a matter of time before he reaches his breaking point, and there’s nothing you can do but watch. And despite his inadvertent killing of George, I adore how sympathetic the film is to him. Mr. Dawson is so kind to him and tells George (and the audience by extension) that the soldier is traumatized, not cowardly. When Peter lies to the soldier and says George will be okay, Mr. Dawson nods approvingly. And when Mr. Dawson notices him trembling after the last-ditch Stuka attack, he helps him up and gives him a comforting pat on the shoulder. I don’t know, it’s just refreshing and comforting to see a traumatized character portrayed with such humanity and treated with such compassion.

This film is about a catastrophic defeat and people trapped in this hell when attempt after attempt to escape ends in disaster, but there is kindness to be found even in these horrible circumstances. And I just find that moving. And that’s why, despite the endless anxiety this film gives me, I consider it a comfort movie. I will never tire of it.

#Dunkirk #Dunkirk 2017 #.txt #* #dunkirkposting

[the-masked-reviewer]

Wish (2023) Review

Potential spoilers ahead...

The writing, the animation, and even the color choices are nowhere near what one would expect from MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR company that is not only known for their animation, but a company widely considered to have revolutionized medium time and time again.

The writing is questionable at best, and at worst it, it feels like it was written by AI to some extent. Most of the dialogue feels rushed and incomplete. The questions with the writing really come to fruition when you look at the lyrics from the music, which, in musicals especially, is where the writing should shine and communicate the majority of emotion. The reason this movie doesn't succeed in this drastically important task could be for multiple reasons. One could be that the hiring of pop writers, who generally wouldn't feel the need to worry so much about making the lyrics carry any weight just so long as they are catchy songs. This led to less musical genre songs and more pop songs. Or… they used AI, which I feel is the more likely answer. I refuse to believe any human being would write the words "watch out world, here I are"(I'm A Star) and think it's good and acceptable under any circumstance, even when writing a pop song. Additionally, many of the scenes you'd expect to have any impact or relevance simply have no effect. For example, Asha at one point, fairly early on, wishes upon a star and the star comes to help her on her quest, but the star and whole idea of wishing on stars are practically irrelevant.

In terms of characterization, there isn't much to say due to the lack of establishing personalities and character arcs in general. Asha has little exposition, which isn't necessarily strange, it's actually fairly common in Disney Princess movies, but the lack of exposition coupled with the lack of believable motivation and growth results in a main character that is flat and a pure archetype with nothing unique. Every character in the movie lacks depth, development, and in most cases, personality. This makes it almost impossible for the audience to care about the conflict, the motive, and everything in between. This lack of development also makes it difficult for the audience to connect with anything or anyone within this story.

The Disney animation style is well-defined and well liked, however this movie's animation is just strange and feels un-mouse like. The animation ended up looking unfinished due to a lack of rendering and lighting. They tried to combine 3D and 2D animation which doesn't translate. As well as meshing the modern style with their classic animation style, despite the fact that these styles don't mesh the way they were trying to execute them.

The casting was really good. Which makes the mistakes, and questionable decisions, especially those in the writing, even more bitter because you know the cast is capable of delivering an amazing performance.

Many of the color palettes and choices were just simply unusual. The expected palette for example, is having Villains be associated with greens, purples, and blacks. This expectation was not only popularized but frequently attributed and associated with the company. And yet, they choose to disregard the precedent and history that they themselves fostered to put this movie's villain in white and gold, with the only sight of green being when ANY character does magic, while purple is Asha, the protagonist's, primary color. The color palettes may not bother everyone, but they are one example of where the choices made for this movie are weird and unexpected in negative ways.

The "message" that you have all the power to do anything you want, with no message of having hope, doing the right thing, or trusting someone/something to help you is done extremely poorly. Such a large company with such a successful history failing to even deliver this simplistic moral even a little is honestly sad. The plot of the movie makes little to no sense. There is almost no motivation for the audience to care about any of the characters, except possibly Asha, the main character. Many of the events throughout the movie feel disconnected and aimless. The entire movie feels like a series of "references" to other Disney movies, so blatant they should be called "callouts" instead, with few events pretending to be a plot between them.

In conclusion, this movie vastly under performs and fails to meet any of the standards expected of it. The only highlight i can think of would be Alan Tudyk's performance as the comedic relief goat. But even this character faces the same problems as the rest.

#wish #disney wish #wish 2023 #asha #movie review #movies #cinema

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Ricky and Penny got the whole choir to go see CATS (2019).

The reviews

Ricky: went to see it unironically because he likes the stage show. He didn’t mind the cgi, but he thought the music was badly done and hated how they changed the characters main interactions with each other

Penny: went to see it ironically. “It wasn’t worth it.” Haunted by the cockroaches. Also, trying to work out how big the cats are based on their surroundings and props. Has come to the conclusion that they can change their size at Will and it’s never brought up because it wasn’t necessary to the plot.

Ocean: spent the whole movie asking “where’s Taylor swift?” Only agreed to go because Taylor swift was in it. Taylor swift is in one scene.

Constance: was able to ignore the cgi during dance numbers. Absolutely hated Bustopher Jones and the Old Gumbie Cat. She was familiar with the stage musical and expected the characters to be treated with respect instead of being turned into jokes.

Mischa: wants all the cats to put on more clothing. Didn’t mind the clothes cats. Also wants to see the stage musical because he didn’t think the music was bad, he just thought the whole thing was poorly executed.

Noel: swears that if he heard Ocean ask where Taylor Swift was one more time, he would physically fight her. Thinks James Cordon should stop getting cast in things. Enjoyed the lighting because it wasn’t just spooky, but it was dark enough that he sometimes couldn’t see the cats.

i have never seen any version of Cats, but i trust your judgement, and i agree

#ask #lmao ocean asking about taylor swift the whole time #rtc #rtc headcanons #ride the cyclone headcanons #ride the cyclone #ricky potts #noel gruber #penny lamb #jane doe #mischa bachinski #constance blackwood #ocean o’connell rosenberg #queue

[blazedrawsstuff]

FNF Headcanons: Senpai's Game

Here are my headcanons surrounding and expanding upon the game that Week 6 takes place in. More to (likely) be added in the future.

Behind the Game

The game's name is NOT "Hating Simulator", that's just the week name. The game's actual name is "Sakura Days".

The game was made by the Japanese game studio "Exitheart", a small studio founded in the mid-to-late 90's. Sakura Days was their attempt at making a dating sim game, which were becoming quite popular in the market at the time.

Released in 2003, it sold well in Japan, and got above-average review scores. Unfortunately didn't sell as well in the states, not poorly, but it didn't get as much traction as it did in Japan.

Exitheart unfortunately doesn't exist anymore in current day, it was bought out and merged with a larger game company.

Amber (Girlfriend) was given the game as a birthday present when she turned 13. Years later she gave the copy to Blaze after the latter's respective week, which is how she and Kenji met.

About the game

The game features six characters, three guys, three girls. At the start of the game, the player chooses one of them to play as. Each of them have are themed with a flower and color.

The three guys are Kenji Sakubara (aka "Senpai"), Satoru Murasaki, and Makoto Himawari . Themed with pink and roses, purple and violets, and yellow and sunflowers respectfully.

The three girls are. Naomi Suzuran (aka "Kohai"), Akane Tsubaki, and Midori Kikumori Themed with blue and lilies, red and camellias, and green and chrysanthemums respectfully.

Kenji and Naomi are the default characters, and the ones that were featured the most on the marketing for the game.

The background girls also have names! Being Ayame (the brown haired girl with the ponytail) and Kaede (the girl with short black hair). They show up in the background of cutscenes and the Music Club minigame (more on that below). They are also your rival's teammates in the soccer minigame (see below).

For a brief description of personalities. Kenji is the romantic gentleman, Satoru is the bookish stoic, Makoto is the excitable fun-lover, Naomi is the shy and reserved creative, Akane is the rough-and-tumble tomboy, and Midori is the gentle motherly figure.

The game takes place mainly in the school, known simply as "Sakura Academy"

The premise is pretty simple: The school's spring festival is coming up and you want to get a date for it. You have 15 days (30 days if you pick "semester" mode) to woo the girl/guy of your choice before your rival can.

The Gameplay

Upon starting the game, you have a choice to pick if you'll be playing as a boy or a girl. If a boy you can choose either Kenji, Satoru, or Makoto. If a girl you can choose either Naomi, Akane, or Midori. After which you pick the crush you want to pursue.

Datable options are (sadly) gender-locked (ex: Kenji can only date Naomi, Akane, or Midori). The one of the two character options you didn't choose become your rival (ex: Picking Naomi makes Akane or Midori your rival.).

You also pick how long your want your session to be. Either "quarter" mode, which gives you 15 days before the festival. Or "semester" mode, which gives you 30 days before the festival. This affects the amount of points you get for the affection meter (see below).

The game, while mostly being a dating sim, also has a competitive minigame angle to it. The goal, as stated above, is to get the guy or girl you picked for your crush to agree to be your date for the school's Spring festival.

This is done by three ways. One is by talking to them, the second is by getting them gifts, and the third is to do minigames to impress them. Doing these increases the affection meter for the character you do these to/for. In order to win, you must have the bar higher than your rivals before the day of the festival. The meter must also be at at least 65% or higher in order to win.

However it is possible to lose affection meter points. Such as making wrong dialogue choices, giving your date their disliked gift, or losing the minigames. Your rivals can lose points as well.

Each day, you have a set amount of "stamina" to spend, you spend it by talking to characters, playing minigames, or working, which gets you money to spend on gifts at the school's store. Once you run out of stamina you can't do anything else and must return to your home and sleep. Sleeping ends the day, transitioning to the next one. Your rival's points will be counted once you go to sleep, allowing you to spend the next day catching up.

You can only do one minigame per day, and give only one gift per-day.

There are six minigames, presented as "clubs". These are Music, Science, Tennis, Art, Soccer, and Cooking. All six characters has a favorite club, doing them and winning will grant you a small bonus to points gained for the affection meter. However losing the minigame will also make you lose a few more points than with any other minigame.

As for how each minigame plays...

Music: Plays just like how it is in Week 6, a rhythm game where you hit the d-pad in tandem with the arrow notes. This club is Kenji's favorite.

Science: Trivia game. Answer the questions right to earn points, the player with the most amount of points by the end of the minigame wins. This club is Satoru's favorite.

Tennis: Plays pretty much like Mario Tennis. Hit the ball and try to get your rival to miss it to earn points. The one to hit 5 points first wins. This club is Makoto's favorite.

Art: Button combo minigame. Hit the buttons in the combo shown to create paintings as fast as you can within the time limit. The one with the most paintings is the winner. This club is Naomi's favorite.

Soccer: Get the ball into your rival team's goal to earn points. The team with the most points after 3 minutes wins. Both teams have 2 team mates, your teammates are the characters you didn't pick for your date (Ex: Picking Naomi, then picking Kenji for your date would make your teammates Satoru and Makoto.) while your rivals teamates are Ayame and Kaede. This club is Akane's favorite.

Cooking: Plays similarly to Cooking Mama mixed with Warioware. You must complete a series of microgames to make your dish before your rival finishes theirs. Microgames include chopping, frying/sauteing, mixing, baking, and boiling. This club is Midori's favorite.

Once all 15/30 days are up, the festival will begin. In which you confess to your crush that you love them. If the affection meter is at 65% or higher and it's higher than your rival's, then you win. If it's less than 65%, then you are rejected, thus you lose. If your rival's meter is higher than yours, you find that your rival has already confessed, and thus you lose.

Other Stuff/Mod and AU Stuff

Minus: Sakura Days is an RPG in the Minus universe known as "Secret of Sakura". Kenji is the main protagonist and a swordsman while the rest are his party members (Satoru being a mage, Makoto being a ranger, Naomi being a bard, Akane being a rogue, and Midori being a healer).

D-Side: Sakura Days is a fighting game in the D-Sides universe known as "A FUCKING FIGHTING GAME" (yes, that is what it's called canonically). Sensei is a martial arts teacher (rest TBA).

#friday night funkin #fnf headcanons #friday night funkin headcanons #fnf senpai #senpai fnf #senpai friday night funkin #friday night funkin senpai #senpai

[blaaaaask]

My Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth review:

Spoilers ahead, you've been warned!

So here are pros and cons of what I thought about Rebirth.

Overall I really liked it, can't wait for the next installment. I still have a few items to wrap-up with side quests, but I did beat the game with a large portion of items done in 94 hours.

Pros:

Character development is on par. Lots of 'getting to know' not only your teammates but characters they introduced from the Remake version as well. This kind of feels like an Easter Egg moment sometimes, and gives the game consistency and charm.

Gameplay during battle is smooth, consistent, and the added synergy attacks are interesting. Playing as a larger group of people with their own assets can be a little overwhelming, but fun to find your favorite playing style. Using different characters feels absolutely necessary for differing battle mechanics, and I think they did a great job in providing the opportunity to keep all characters relevant rather than 'backseating' someone. The side quests and even main storyline ensure this.

Storyline. The intense amount of speculation people have been doing has been a little blown out of proportion and I kind of like that. I mean we weren't wrong about differing timelines, the game does have that, but the way it is incorporated was done beautifully. They followed the original story very well, and moments that were changed only seemed to enhance the clarity that was occurring in those scenarios. Moments that I had thought of prior were now in different tones, giving different meanings. I enjoyed that.

Voice acting. Using new voices can be a bit of a dealbreaker for those of us who enjoyed the original VAs, but I think they did a great job in continuing with VAs that fit the tone of this 'newer' version of the FF7 world. I do still miss some of the originals, but with the storytelling in this format I think it's done very well.

Music. I really don't know what else to say other than the blends and tones and meshing of songs and the moments they're in is just. It's everything. It really makes every. Single. Scene. If you played the demo you know exactly what I mean.

Scenery. Everything is so gorgeous. Ugh. I just want to paint every little scene into a pretty landscape.

The comedic value is gold. Random characters will bring up points from Remake that will make you die of laughter. Side quests can be beyond hilarious (looking at you, Johnnys).

The intense amount of flirting and goofy moments of people hitting on Cloud is beyond amazing and very fitting. The dating scene I ended up with was with Tifa, and it played out beautifully. I am totes excited to try out the others, too.

Cons:

Too many minigames? It might just be me, but it felt like every mechanic had an unnecessary 'challenge' to it that robbed the enjoyment of the side quests. Each mini game has its own rules, mechanics, and is oftentimes poorly instructed to the point you will be redoing them in multitudes. Precision is key to every single one of them, but getting there seems too difficult at times. It's probably just me lol, but the piano keys with a PS5 controller can be incredibly difficult to get accurate notes. The march portion of the game was increasingly difficult, too, borrowing from the dance mechanics of Remake and yet somehow making it more motion-sickness-y. Granted, it was still funny, but the practice rounds they allow you do not compare to the actual hell hole that is the 3 march portion. It felt like when a teacher tells you '1+1=2' but on the math test they give you 'If Jimmy sells 83 portions of apple purple, who is the sun representing in the third movie of cryptocurrency?' Fort Condor makes a comeback from Yuffie's DLC, which is fun and kind of annoying. I am terrible at timed things so don't mind my venting here. And don't get me started on MOG HOUSE. The weird slide mechanics of trying to 'push' things around in this minigame while trying to avoid haphazard death feels a little too much like reality for me and I cannot deal, yo. The 'Run Wild' or whatever Red XIII game has a similar mechanic, which only makes it frustrating for the harder challenges they throw at you in making goals. Also, every minigame seems to incorporate an insane amount of R2/L2 button mechanics. Being left-handed feels like a bit of a disadvantage in some of these games, and it sometimes feels like the PS5 controller has too much of a 'soft push' on it that doing full trigger clicks is like a whole hand exercise. These games crippled me hahaha. I would love a Story Mode for us cripple-y old fucks that makes it so I don't have to do minigames. To add to that, Queen's Blood ended up being a relief for me after the hell that I faced in all the other minigames, but only later in the game once you get better card decks. However, I am currently stuck on Dale in Nibelheim. Yes. Dale. Don't laugh at me.

Not all characters fit the aesthetic of the original game. I'm mostly thinking of Kyrie and Regina. It's such a dumb nitpick on my part, but I kind of wish they had toned down their looks to match the game a little better that way it isn't such a 'sore thumb' kind of vibe. The moogles are also a bit terrifying to look at. Why did they give them such horrifying teeth?

And speaking of sore thumb, Chadley and MAI. I like the banter but oof what an annoying duo, hahaha. The 'fun' mechanics they're trying to implement with having these two talk to you through the PS5 controller was a bit of a fun and novel concept in the first 2 seconds, but MAI's voice is a bit too grating for me that I had to turn off that feature.

Speaking of voices, Red XIII's splits back and forth at times between his 'pretending to be sophisticated' and 'teen' voice. I prefer his sophisticated voice, and it's a pity they don't have an option to choose what you want to hear. I think I just hate the sound of children's voices, so anything that is too high pitched sounds a bit like nails on a chalkboard for me. I am guessing no one else cares about this, hahaha.

Chocobo mechanics. I like sweeping onto a chocobo smoothly without button pressing, but sometimes Cloud gets off the bird in a direction that accidentally makes it possible to get back on the bird. Also, the open world trekking is only fun in the Grasslands area, after that it is a bit of a nightmare that continuously gets worse the hillier things get. I spend a lot of time staring at the map trying to figure out where I'm supposed to go because you can't actually 'go' wherever. This is a bit unfortunate because it can make simple tasks of 'I need to go here' turn to 'I need to make 70 different turns to get there.' And the traversing for specific regions can also feel like hell, mostly in Gongaga and Cosmo Canyon.

Controller mechanics. Kind of already talked about this, but because the PS5 is supposed to be a 'new, novel console' with things like speakers in the controller, touch sensitivity, motion sensors, etc, they go at it hardcore here. Tilt mechanics, sliding things, and all that garbage is just annoying. I turn it off as soon as I can. It is especially annoying during Cait Sith's time in the Shinra Manor. Boxgate. That is all, lol. If you like silly things like this then more power to you.

I am sure I am forgetting things, but to wrap-up: the storyline is what I'm in it for, and the story was beautiful and therefore I enjoyed it even with my stupid gripes. Please remember this is just my ridiculous opinion. I am merely a purple dinosaur on the internet and should not be held as gospel.

#video games #final fantasy 7 rebirth #ff7 rebirth #ff7 rebirth spoilers #spoilers #ff7 rebirth review #my garbage opinion #I will go hide in a hole now

[astraltrickster]

Your Lie in April and the Elephant in the Room

An essay that I felt the need to get out this month.

If you were in the anime sphere in the mid-late 2010s, you're probably familiar with Your Lie in April. It was hailed as a masterpiece, and for good reason - it was a powerful tragedy; a cathartic exploration of themes of love, of loss, of abuse and trauma, of sickness, of dreams and where they come from and what happens when they're unattainable - all things we all have either experienced ourselves, or pray we never do but know that they could happen to anyone. The emotions were perfectly paced throughout; the drama was entirely too easy to relate to, and the humor was the perfect amount of levity at the most precise times for maximum impact. The music was incredible; the opening song remains iconic in its own right even before examining the OP animation, packed with foreshadowing and symbolism that becomes an absolute gut punch upon review, and the rest of the OST was no slouch either.

And for no direct fault of its own, I hated it.

(Spoilers below, in...case anyone cares about spoilers for a manga from 2011/anime from 2014).

It was a genuinely well-crafted story. It was an important story to tell, even! But it came out into a world where too many other stories had already done what it did, and often done so very poorly and insensitively, and not enough have dared to do anything different with its elements. As a result...I just can't force myself to see past the fact that when stripped down to its core elements, it's just yet another case of disability as misery porn and a girl made disposable for the pain and character development of a boy. The entire time I was watching it, I just couldn't get immersed, because one nagging question just kept making me angry - "why are we focusing more on Kosei's angst about it than on how Kaori herself feels about reaching the terminal stage of her illness at 14!?"

Yet, if it existed in a vacuum, this wouldn't have been a problem. There is an inherent aspect of tragedy in terminal illness, especially early-onset or congenital ones. I don't hate this tragedy's impact on a dying person's loved ones being put in the spotlight because I think everyone who loves someone with a terminal illness can and should somehow suck it up and just not grieve or hate being able to see the end coming so early, nor because I think people don't need or deserve fictional outlets to explore that perspective; I hate it because...as of now, I can name only one big name piece of media off the top of my head (The Bucket List) that actually focuses first and foremost on what the sick person actually wants, or why they might feel the way they do. Because the only emotions a terminally ill character is allowed to feel in the overwhelming majority of media are fear, regret, and maybe some hollow respite haunted by the fact that momentary joy won't save them, usually in such a generic and impersonal way that it would make no difference if the human character was replaced with a beloved family pet approaching their final days. I hate it because the loved ones' grief is nearly the only perspective we're allowed to see, as if none of the viewers will themselves be the ones diagnosed with a terminal disease in the future, let alone currently be in their own known final year.

In the scene where Kaori's legs suddenly give out, and she broke down screaming at them to just work again - that was the moment where I felt the weight of the story the hardest. I understood that feeling; I knew where it came from in a generic sense, but also in a personal sense about her - this wasn't just another function she was losing, this was crucial to her ability to do what she loved with the little time she had left. It was an experience I've seen. It was an experience I've feared. It was an experience I've even had "free trial" versions of, which were harrowing enough in their own right. I was able to well and truly connect with her, and her above all else, in that moment, and it still stands out to me as one of the more powerful scenes in anime to date.

I just wished we had more of that - and in hindsight, I wouldn't mind if it wasn't even in this particular anime, as long as there was enough of it to make the overall perception of progressive illness in media more balanced. As long as more media remembered that terminally ill people are people, whose reasons for their actions and feelings are always deeper than "I want to keep passively existing". As long as more media remembered that while friends', family members', and partners' feelings on someone's imminent death aren't irrelevant, neither are the feelings of the dying person themself.

It is a stunning example of how a story can be problematic (in the original nuanced sense of the word, not as a fancy synonym for "bad"), not because it did anything wrong in its own right, but because too much other media did, or because not enough did anything different.

I wish I could have enjoyed this anime. Maybe one day we'll have enough balance that I will, if and when I rewatch it.

#media #disability #not tagging the show itself for courtesy #sorry if you found it through search anyway because i didn't want to censor the name #i didn't say it was bad i said i didn't like it #all this said the op still fucks #the fact that *i* couldn't get immersed or enjoy the show #because *other media* fucked up too bad #is not enough to make me not love that damned song

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

I feel this film needs absolutely no introduction.

Look, I get it. You’ve seen everyone and their mother talk trash about this movie since it dropped in 1999. You’ve seen every single show in the universe take cracks at this film, you’ve seen all the parodies and mockery of it in movies, you may have even seen that  movie Fanboys. Maybe you’ve even watched some massive YouTube review of the movie. The point is, this movie has been done to death.

But this series is about covering poorly received and infamous movies to see if their reputation is deserved, and I’d be remiss to ignore this film. And hey, these days the film has gotten something of a reappraisal by younger generations and older fans alike! After 20 years of scorn, a combination of the poorly received episodes VIII and IX, other works like The Clone Wars building off of and fleshing out the themes, Lego making really fun levels based off this movie for its Star Wars games, and Weird Al dropping one of the best songs of his career based entirely around recapping this film, a lot of people have come around to saying they unironically like this film. Even as early as 2008, the film made it on to Empire magazine’s list of the 500 greatest films of all time, scoring higher than Tim Burton’s Batman, Unbreakable, Full Metal Jacket, Halloween, The Crow, and Enter The Dragon (not by a huge margin though since it only got to 449). So there’s something there to love, right?

Well, let’s find out as I ask the question everyone else has already asked a million times before: Is The Phantom Menace really that bad?

THE GOOD

Let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way: The action and John Williams’ score.

The prequel trilogy really shines in how absolutely bonkers it makes lightsaber battles. Sure, one could argue the original trilogy made them more realistic, like actual swordfights… But I don’t want realism in this series about magical alien samurai monks using telekinesis and fighting armies of clones and robots. I want to see someone do a million backflips and then slice a dude in half with their laser sword. This film delivers heartily on that front, especially in the epic final duel between Maul, Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan.

Speaking of which, Darth Maul is a highlight of this film despite barely doing or saying anything. A lot of it is his striking visual design, which is actually toned down from the original concepts. It makes him look cool, creepy, and mysterious, always a good look for any Star Wars character. Ray Park doesn’t get to show off Maul’s dialogue much, but he certainly shows off his battle prowess with a bunch of sick flips and the iconic dual-bladed lightsaber. This appearance here served as an excellent foundation for the guy, because The Clone Wars would take him from an iconic but underutilized character to perhaps one of the greatest villains in the series.

And then the score. Oh lord, the score! Has Williams ever missed, even once? This movie has some really fantastic music, stuff like the celebration music at the end of the film, but it’s quite obvious that the standout is “Duel of the Fates,” one of the best pieces of music in any Star Wars film.

A lot of the characters introduced here are pretty fun and great additions to the universe. Natalie Portman is actually pretty solid as Padme; Liam Neeson’s Qui-Gon is just such an aggro dick it’s hard not to love him and his underhanded ways; Boss Nass is an amusing yet underutilized gungan played by BRIAN BLESSED of all people, once more adding his trademark ham to a campy sci-fi movie inspired by Flash Gordon; Mace Windu drops in for a brief appearance to set him up for better ones down the road; and that Chancellor Palpatine guy is really cool, I hope we get to see more of him!

Then we have the pod race which, while a bit overly long, is a lot of fun and features some crazy vehicular madness, and there’s the practical effects, the creative design of the aliens and monsters, and there’s the practical effects and costumes mixed together with the CGI.... When this movie is fun, it’s a lot of fun, and when this movie is putting in the effort by god is it putting in the effort.

Oh yeah, and E.T.’s species has a cameo. No wonder he seemed to recognize Yoda in his movie.

THE BAD

Have you guys ever wanted a cool laser sword sci-fi epic to be constantly interrupted by long, boring scenes of trade negotiations, council meetings, and bureaucracy? Well boy oh boy will you love this film! There are so many stupid, dull, tedious scenes where characters are just talking about this boring trade embargo plotline, one that can’t even be ignored because it’s driving the whole plot. And sure, it leads to some really cool action scenes, but you’ve gotta sit through boring galactic council political bullshit to get to them.

This film is also the one that establishes the Jedi as a bunch of out of touch assholes. Every scene with the Jedi council (and especially if you have to look at the weird ugly Yoda puppet this film gave us before it was mercifully replaced with CGI) has the Jedi acting as a bunch of obstructive assholes who seem to go out of their way to be dicks to a literal child. Add onto this that this film reveals the Jedi essentially train kids to be child soldiers, yeah, no, maybe these guys did deserve Order 66 after all.

There is the writing, but it’s really not too strange for Star Wars to have clunky writing. The issue here is said writing is in service to really banal plots, and when the movie is getting good dialogue is usually not the thing making the scenes good. These things here may not seem like a lot when it comes to problems especially when I was praising this film so much, but the few problems are spread far and wide across this two hour movie.

THE UGLY

As you may have noticed, I didn’t mention two of the film’s most hated aspects above: Jar Jar and Anakin. There is a good reason for that.

Literally every mean thing you can imagine has already been lobbed at Ahmed Best and Jake Lloyd, and quite frankly I’m not keen on contributing to that. Anything negative I could say has already been said, and at this point it doesn’t even matter. Jake Lloyd was bullied over his performance to the point where he hated the franchise for years, and Ahmed Best nearly killed himself over the sheer blistering hatred Jar Jar received. Do I think Jar Jar is funny? Do I think Lloyd was a good actor? Does it even fucking matter at all when people harassed them to such lengths that it traumatized them?

I’ll be honest: I’m not a huge fan of Jar Jar’s antics. But they really aren’t the worst thing in this movie, and he’s not even remotely the most annoying Star Wars character. We now have people like Hux, the Knights of Ren, Snoke, Clone Palpatine, Holdo… The sequel trilogy was a buffet of characters that are infinitely worse than Jar Jar. And as is often the case, The Clone Wars went a long way towards making him a good character.

As for Lloyd, he was an actual fucking child. He was being directed by an absolute dork who wrote the goofiest dialogue imaginable for him, was there ever even a chance? A “bad” child performance is never the fault of a child, I feel; it’s the fault of a director who doesn’t bother to guide them. I’m a George Lucas apologist most of the time, but he absolutely let Lloyd down here.

Oh, and I guess I should address the other element in the room: Watto.

This guy has often come under fire as a huge negative Jewish caricature. I… don’t necessarily see it. Upon rewatching I was expecting something on the lines of the goblins in Harry Potter, but I don’t know. I think a lot of it comes from mishearing his accent; if you listen to it, he actually has some sort of weird, vague Italian accent as opposed to that stereotypical old Jewish man voice. I guess if anything, Watto is a negative stereotype of Italians, though he is far less of a hate crime than casting Chris Pratt as Mario.

...Okay, and one more thing: Midichlorians. People have this weird idea that they cause the force. The movie literally states their presence is just an indication of a proclivity towards the force. It’s basically the Star Wars version of Pokerus. This was such a stupid thing for people to get mad about, but 90% of the hate for this film is just getting mad at stupid things anyway.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

The answer to this question was always going to be pretty obvious: No. Absolutely not. The sheer vitriolic backlash to this film was built off the bizarre emotional attachment adults in the 90s had to a campy sci-fi series from the 70s and 80s; the toxicity of the fandom meant there was never any doubt that upon revisiting this film I’d find the hatred overblown. And really, we’ve had over twenty years of other Star Wars stories now, a lot of them building off the foundation this laid to give us great stories in their own rights. As I mentioned above, Darth Maul, this film’s awesome yet underutilized villain, has gone on to become one of the franchise’s most iconic characters thanks to The Clone Wars. There are great ideas here in this film, but it took other people to polish them and make them shine.

The real question is, even if the backlash is overblown… is the film actually good at all? And that’s a complicated question. This film has a lot of serious, glaring flaws, but at its heart it’s still the fun, campy sci-fi series we all know and love. When this film gets good, it gets really good, but when it’s bad it’s downright boring and even a little cringey. But being a bit cringey is just an important building block of Star Wars, so in my eyes, it gets a pass in that regard.

For my part, I like it. It is far, far away from my favorite Star Wars film, but I like it more than two of the sequel trilogy at least. I think whether anyone else likes it really boils down to how much corny, campy dialogue and boring bureaucratic drama one is able to tolerate. Regardless, I think that 6.5 is a perfect score for this film. It definitely reflects the mellowing public opinion towards it, and shows that it’s not really that bad after all. It’s just not exactly great, either.

But hey… This song more than justifies this movie existing:

If nothing else, you can watch this instead of the movie for your Machete Order marathon and all you’ll miss is some great action and music mixed into boring bureaucracy. Whether that’s worth it or not is up to you!

#Is it really that bad #IIRTB #review #movie review #Star Wars #The Phantom Menace #George Lucas #Sci-fi #Disney

[littlealeta]

The Boy and the Heron Review [Spoilers]

Being somewhat of a Ghibli fan, this was one of my most highly anticipated films for many years.

Unfortunately, it left a lot to be desired or my expectations were too high.

Story

Probably the most boring Ghibli story since Tales from Earthsea. I even found Earwig and the Witch more interesting than this, because even though it was repetitive, it at least had conflict. The first act is mostly a generic slice of life where nothing happens. All it's about is a child trying to adjust to his new stepmother. Most of the second act is just your basic adventure film. Things really don’t get interesting until towards the third act, the boy goes into the spirit world, meets a young version of his mom and great-great uncle. As you can see, the story is a huge mess and by the time it gets to the complex things, the movie is almost over so it doesn’t have time to explain things. I think the movie should’ve focused more on the spirit world, the heron, and the symbolisms that come with it and how it reflects on Mahito’s personal journey and development.. It seemed like that’s what the film was going for, but it doesn’t focus on this stuff much to make sense. Which is disappointing because that’s why I was so excited to see this movie. Even Mahito gets little yet rushed character development of learning to accept his stepmom. I initially thought the heron was supposed to be one of those spiritual birds who represent a personal journey for a human, but they really don’t delve much into that.

Characters

It feels like none of the characters really have much of a point or represent anything. Mahito is the most boring Ghibli protagonist I’ve ever seen. He has barely any personality, doesn’t emote much (which is weird for a Ghibli film but there’s a lot of things that don’t feel Ghibli like anyway), and is stuck in a boring story about searching for someone. The other characters don’t really do much and are mostly there to just crack jokes and to react to conflict. And I shit you not, one of the jokes in this movie is random bird poop! The funny characters do get a few points for their humor, but they’re not three-dimensional enough to be memorable. Himi turning out to be Mahito’s young mom is cute, but still, there’s not much to be said about her.

Technical things

The only things I thought still felt Ghibli like were of course the animation, the voice acting (I watched dub) and the music. Although, some of the designs just felt like generic Ghibli designs, like Mahito, his dad, and the one old lady that looks like Grandma Sophie.

Overall

For a Miyazaki film that was in the making for about 10 years, I’m surprised how rushed, lazy, and poorly put together this was. From what I remember, most Ghibli films are pretty well structured and fairly simple to follow, even the more complex ones. I remember binge watching their movies when I was 11 and rarely felt like they were boring or hard to understand, much less hard to follow. As an adult, I probably understand them on a deeper level than as a kid, but still. I’m surprised at how devoid of the Ghibli charm this has. The characters have barely any personality, development, or emotion and the story is a confusing mess and is mostly basic. Is this a result of Miyazaki getting old? Was there something going on behind the scenes? I’ve never felt more empty by a Ghibli film.

If you are curious about this movie though, I’d recommend streaming it. It’ll give you more time to take a break and process things if needed than watching the entire thing in one sitting.

I give The Boy and the Heron 5.4 bells out of 10

Can anyone tell me why they like this movie? Am I missing something? Am I just stupid? Is this just a result of my mixed opinion on Studio Ghibli? Their movies can be really good but some are just not my cup of tea.

Don’t get me wrong, I see a lot of potential in this movie, but I think it should’ve done a better job to explain things and actually move things along faster

#the boy and the heron #anime #review #studio ghibli #hayo miyazaki #hayou miyazaki

[tinytinybumblebee]

Ok so here’s the bullet point fic I’ve got going, it’s set in the usual ofmd modern au folks have been building up around these parts!

- So imagine Stede starts picking movies he thinks will be fun to show Ed and Izzy when they’re little, since they’ve seen very few children’s movies overall

- He starts with Disney from the 70s and 80s, thinking those might be somewhat familiar

- Those go okay, they’re certainly not poorly received but Ed’s response is lukewarm (and given that Izzy usually regresses to an age too young to really follow a movie’s plot, Ed’s opinion is the one Stede is after)

- After a bit of consideration, Stede throws the whole “familiar” angle out—there’s plenty of children’s cinema that’s been released in the last decade alone they could be enjoying!

- He starts thinking about movies his own kids enjoyed as they grew up; they’ve been raised entirely in the digitally animated era, but Stede has a soft place in his heart for the more classic hand-drawn aesthetic, so he compromises and picks a few of their favourites from the 90s and early noughties

- The whole round of selections goes well, but he surprises himself by knocking it out of the park with one of his choices for an entirely unexpected reason

- From the moment the first warm notes of ‘He Mele No Lilo’ are sung over that rich underwater landscape, Ed is enchanted by Lilo and Stitch

- Stede can’t help but hold a hand over his heart when he notices, about halfway through the movie, that Ed has been slowly inching himself forward to get closer to the screen at the foot of the bed

- Ed’s echolalia comes out more when he’s regressed, and he happily repeats Stitch’s little gibberish phrases as they’re said onscreen, because alien words are fun for his mouth!

- The next day, when Ed is big again, Stede asks him what he loved so much about it, and Ed, after some light deflection (as emotionally guarded people are wont to do), admitted that he was blown away that Disney had made a movie about a little Native Hawaiian girl

- Stede manages to stick his foot directly into his mouth immediately in that somehow-still-endearing (at least to Ed) way of his

- “But—you’re not Hawaiian?”

- Ed laughs, because he knows his partner tries his absolute hardest but is still a bit Stupid when it comes to stuff about race, but that’s okay, he’s still learning

- “I know that, mate, but think about it broader: that’s an Indigenous islander culture they’re portraying and celebrating that whole movie. That’s incredible—the Disney when we were kids would never have made somethin’ like that, it was always that, like, Anglo-Saxon, Western European ideal or whatever. S’just kinda cool.”

- Stede knows his next move. He is going to absolutely Win at Showing His Partner Movies While He’s Regressed. He can’t wait

- Belatedly, he asks Izzy what he thought as well, only feeling a little bit sheepish since he knows his other partner’s review will be, shall we say, minimalistic

- Izzy raises his eyebrow, clearly amused by Stede’s entirely hamfisted attempt to include him in a conversation to which he has little to contribute, “I remember, uh, bright colours and music? It got the job done”

- “Efficient, was it, Iz?” Ed teases, and Izzy, predictably, flips him off, but doesn’t try to hide his laugh as he does it

- The next time both his boys are small, Stede can barely contain his excitement as he sets up the movie of the night: Moana

- ‘Ed’s gonna go bananas for this’, he thinks gleefully

- He’s right

- It doesn’t take Ed long to pick up on the setting of their latest cinematic journey

- When it sinks in (after gaping at the TV for several seconds in silence), his hands begin flapping wildly, he lets out a few joyful squeaks and gasps—and promptly dissolves into tears

- Stede worries suddenly that he may have Succeeded Too Hard

- He pauses the movie to check in, but Ed, even through his tears, chides him and demands he press play again Right Now

- “‘M jus’ happy, Mama,” he explains gently, voice watery as he rubs tears from his eye with his fist

- Stede rubs his back soothingly and says, “I’m glad, love. Thank you for explaining your feelings to me.”

- Ed still has some sobs left in him after that but is mostly calming down, unlike Izzy, who picked up on Ed’s tears and got spooked

- He’s just too little to get that people cry for all sorts of feelings, not just bad ones, and if his big brother, who’s the bravest, smartest person in the world, is crying, something must be really wrong!!

- Stede lifts the smaller man onto his lap to cradle him against his chest, bouncing him very gently with his knees and making soothing sounds

- Ed, with one eye still on the TV, scrunches up his nose and asks why Izzy’s crying too, so Stede explains, and suddenly Ed is tugging Izzy right out of his lap

- “Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay, let Mama look after Izzy, you just watch your movie,” he says even as the baby is plonked between Ed’s legs, propped up against his chest

- “But I wan’ Izzy to get to watch it too!!”

- Since the aforementioned Izzy seems to be coming out of his crying fit, Stede just sits back and watches his boys watch

- Ed is pointing and chattering throughout the movie, guiding his baby brother through the story with him

- Stede thinks that the baby is probably more engaged by the hands popping out on either side of him at random intervals than the movie, but it doesn’t matter—they’re both smiling

- He leans back, and thinks to himself, ‘Yeah. This is what winning feels like.’

IM CRYING IN THE CLUBBBB THIS IS POSITIVELY ADORABLE OH MY GOODNESS 😭💖💖💖💖

Y e s aaaaaa representation is very vital in films, especially ones that are geared towards younger audiences!! Tiny Ed definitely catches these things and gives him the building of new childhood memories that he gets to experience with his Mama and baby brother ;w; 💖🥺

Oh you knooow Eddie then has a Lilo and Moana dollies that go everywhere with him when tiny and just sometimes sits there and admires them (before promptly declaring them astronauts and making them fly xD)

#agere #age regression #fandom agere #sfw #mailbox #ofmd #stede bonnet #edward teach #izzy hands

[minuy600]

The Arcade Games Of 1980 #9 - Crazy Climber

Now, I was originally to put my Checkers review here, but today, something amazing happened. I beat one of the bullshittiest unfair games there is in all of gaming. At least so far. So that's what we're gonna discuss while it's still fresh on my mind.

Whereas Rally-X was the game I hated to like, I *really* like to hate this one. In the game, you climb with some dude who looks like 18-Volt from WarioWare and have to avoid all kinds of obstacles to get to the top of 4 buildings total. The first 3 stages all introduce some extra mechanic that's increasingly hard to avoid, while the 4th and final stage before looping is more or less a 'worst of' with the obstacles they chose.

Stage 1 introduces closing windows, the bird who seems to have a particularly bad case of stomach trouble, the dudes who throw flower pots on your head and a very odd looking King Kong knockoff. Stage 2 adds girders into the mix, my worst enemy, as well as these 'helpful' balloons that barely bring you further in the stage, and a Nichibutsu sign that goes effin' wild and can electrocute you if you're exposed to it's loose wires for too long. Stage 3 has one new addition in the falling signs that conveniently tell you what game you're playing. They can be placed in even more evil ways than the girders and become completely unavoidable at very final stretch of the final stage. See what I mean with unfair?

Nichibutsu decided to be additionally clever by introducting a completely new control scheme to coincide with this new genre of game. You control each arm of your climber guy individually and that means you have to push the joysticks in their right directions so you can go up another floor. It's shaky in execution as i've had several of my inputs taken away, but I much prefer it over having the same old same old done poorly.

If there's any game I wanna compare this to, it's Getting Over It. Extremely frustrating whilst also giving you significant reasons to come back to it to see if the odds play into your favor THIS time. And so I did. For several weeks. I'm done now and I did it legit. That's worth taking to my grave.

The Verdict

Graphics (9): Extremely good for the time. The climbing genre appears to be a completely new concept in gaming and would rarely be revisited later. Ya got a large variety in enemies that all look significantly more detailed than most other games, and ooze personality even if there's not something in the way of named characters. The helicopter, the balloon, even the climber himself, it's all of the utmost quality one can ask for. With the exception of the crazy ape, he's creeping me out with his red eyes and scrungly face. Donkey Kong he ain't. Aside from some minor graphical glitches and the title screen being very whatever, this is close to the peak as to what you can expect from a 1980 title.

Sound (7): One look at the developer would scare the shit out of anyone in the know. Nichibutsu, or Nihon Bussan as it was still called at the time, broke my hearing with their last outing, Moon Cresta. Sincerely awful, droning, weirdly pitched sounds were what held the game back from taking the glove to Space Invaders. But there was potential in that it was very varied in it's awfulness. And that potential gets utilised here! Mostly.

Most events of the game have their own little jingle or noise to coincide with their appearance. The animals and balloon have music, there's a tune at the start and end of each stage. These are actually great, how they managed to get the Pink Panther theme for the ape, I wouldn't know. The climber himself has a handful of voice clips that differ depending on when you're playing the US version or the original. As i've mentioned in the King & Balloon review, neither version is intrusive in the slightest with them. In fact, all of this combined makes me feel i'm playing a 30s cartoon. Kinda awesome!

What isn't awesome are the final remains of the Nichibutsu earsplitters. The girders drop down with quite possibly the WORST choice of sound effect they could've done. It's the type of cartoony shit you'd expect, ya know, something that lowers in pitch as it goes, only it's pitched SO highly and repeats itself SO frequently that it cracks the praise i've otherwise had in half. I can't ignore it either, these girders are *everywhere* from the second stage onwards. You were so close to making the perfect audiovisual experience, guys!

Fun Factor (6): Speaking of girders... fuck 'em in general. And fuck the Crazy Climber sign as well while we're at it. If flower pots sometimes not allowing you to keep balance by holding down on the joysticks wasn't enough, neither of these allow you to survive in general unless you get very lucky with the former. There's also the windows that conveniently seem to shut down in front of you on the thinner parts of the building. You have to anxiously wait for those to open, while there's always a chance the window you're hanging onto closes as well.

No, this game is not for the impatient. Yet still! I can't help myself with continually trying over and over again. It's THRILLING alright. First game in a while that got me sincerely anxious and determined to pull through and stick it to the man. Figuring out a new strat or sidestepping just a little bit faster so I would have more lives remaining at the later death traps, it's that kinda trial and error that would make arcade games increasingly awesome. Lastly, it helps that the game is nice enough to remove the next few floors worth of traps if you die, meaning you are rarely ever completely blocked from progressing. I am not gonna give a high score for obvious reasons, but I can't help myself with letting it get a pass. It sets a very intriguing precedent.

Longevity (7): 4 stages is not a lot, yet they're gruelling and lengthy enough that it feels like a substantial game for the time. More disappointingly(!), once you beat them, the game essentially resets with your data still intact. There's no reason to play past that point unless you wanna max out the score or somethin'. Please do not attempt that. I would've enjoyed a nod that you did so well to come that far by tweaking the existing stages juuuust a tad. Then again, it would've made my victory feel a lot more hollow. Maybe it's for the best not to let this experience drag more.

In Conclusion

#retro gaming #minuy600 #review #sona #arcade #1980 #crazy climber #nichibutsu

[weltato]

Why I Think Toad Is So Obsessed With Speed - Long Post

This is a long post (and mostly a wall of text, sorry) about The Wind In The Willows, specifically the 2016/17 musical version since I haven't read the book in a very long time.

TL;DR in the tags

Using my new friend Medical News Today I have found an article via Google that was medically reviewed by someone with a PhD, so I'm kind of inclined to believe this is pretty accurate. It's littered with references too, as all good articles should be.

This article is about the definition and symptoms of an "adrenaline junkie" (also known as a "thrill-seeker" or a "daredevil") - I think Toad is addicted to the adrenaline and the feeling he gets the faster he goes. He's not just bad at driving because he doesn't bother to learn, he's bad at driving because he actively enjoys and is seeking out the danger to get another hit. To quote Ratty in 'Speed Is Of The Essence' -> "Speed is an addiction, and alas poor Toad is hooked." He really is hooked, it's plain to see through the show.

He goes from boat to boat, then to a horse-drawn cart (despite the horse's desire to not have a fast paced life, hence why she decided to pull barges instead), then to a motorcar and then finally (by the end of the show at least) to a jetpack. We see what happens with the motorcar through the show - Toad is obsessed with the thing. He says multiple times that he needs more speed (both in 'The Amazing Mr Toad' and in little moments through the show that I can't remember right now, but he says it at least twice) and even repeats the line "speed is the quintessence of what Toad is all about" from earlier in the show. He even stole some bloke's car when he couldn't have one of his own; he faked a heart attack (poorly, but he did it) which scared Mole so much that he ran off just for Toad to bounce back up again two seconds later without a care to go and steal a car.

Now, I could go on a whole other post about Toad's relationship and attitude towards Ratty, Mole, Badger, etc., but I won't right now. Maybe later, who knows. Just know that it's there.

Even when in jail, he didn't seem too bothered. Yes he was dramatic and over the top and yes he was devastated to be in prison, but he was doing it for the attention. It wasn't a subdued "oh I've done it this time" with how he took to the chains and the bars coming up, but rather a big show and dance and an "oh, woe is me, look how I've been wronged!" performance. Yes, most likely there for theatrical effect because it's a musical for all ages, but that's just it - Toad is theatrical. He annoys his escape route, but when she threatens to leave he goes quiet and apologises and then goes right back to being dramatic and happy-go-lucky. I do believe that was a genuine show of remorse to the Gaoler's Daughter, just like how he was when he realised the same guy was coming his way in the car and when he started singing 'The Finale', but as soon as he finds a way out he takes it and runs.

Sorry, I got a little off-track there, but here are the symptoms for when someone is getting dosed with epinephrine, which is the hormone your body produces when in the fight-or-flight response (which is a "reaction that occurs when a person senses or perceives they are in danger"):

increased heart rate

sweating

decreased feeling of pain

heightened awareness

sharpening of mental focus

increased strength

Now, I'm going to focus on these when they become relevant, because the first two that I notice the most is decreased pain and increased strength - have you noticed how many times Toad gets knocked off somewhere? Mole even says that he's been in hospital three times and that's just in the first two seasons that Mole knows him. He crashed the toff's car, then he was thrown off a moving train, then he fell into a canal (or wherever the barge was, I'm assuming a canal) which will not have been warm at all, and then he crashed the same car again! Even the tightening of the corset around him didn't wind him for long; probably set off his epinephrine again, idk.

Toad is usually a loud and brash and blustery fellow who has little regard for his or anyone else's safety, but one thing he isn't is a coward. I won't lie, I've tried to put that label on him because at first glance it suits him so well with how he tries to get his way out of the 20-year sentence, but he goes straight for the Chief Weasel when Portia is in danger - as usual, he fumbles at first, but he eventually gets the upper hand. He's a proud and ungrateful creature, as the Gaoler's Daughter said, but he's nothing if not creative; once given the chance (and really, his only escape option), he went head first into Being A Woman™. Being the first to fight against the Chief Weasel - "step away from that sir, step away I say!" - isn't just latent bravery: it's getting the sense of fear and the kick of adrenaline by being the Hero Of The Hour. He didn't even focus on being chased across six counties and causing thousands of pounds worth of damage, he just focused on having his Hall back.

Heightened awareness let's you pay more attention to details and analyse the things around you to greater length. Now, this isn't really shown by Toad in the show, apart from maybe how obsessed he is with his own motorcar and how he wants it to be perfect, but do you want to know who does keep note of everything? Ratty. That's more of an anxiety thing for him possibly, since he's exasperated with Toad for pretty much the entire show, but there is a moment at the end where Toad finally says out loud what he's recognised about himself - "sometimes I ask a lot, sometimes I lose the plot".

Again, sharpening of mental focus probably doesn't apply to Toad quite so much, but it does apply to Mole when he frightens the stoats that are guarding the door to Toad Hall - Mole is a cautious animal, despite the joy of the new adventures that he's finding through the show. We see it when he first finds the river and meets Ratty, literally jumping into his arms so as not to get wet. We see it when he tries to hide under his coat when learning about the Wild Woods. We especially see it when he goes into the Wild Woods itself to find Badger and gets ambushed by the Wild Wooders. Mole is easy to scare, and yet in the moment when he should be the most scared he uses Toad's discarded disguise to scare off the stoats who then go and tell the rest of the Wild Wooders.

Oh boy, sweating and increased heart rate. Well, with the adrenaline from the speed of the car (and the thrill of flying with the jetpack later on), then yes his heart rate will kick up. I can't really give sweating a proper thing here because being in a theatre production gets very hot under the stage lights and with the choreography and the amount of energy you need to play Toad's role (nowhere near as much as Elle Woods, but still a lot) then you'll be sweating anyway. In the filmed London production of WITW, you can visibly see the main cast are sweating, so this point is moot. However, generally with fear, sweating is aligned, e.g. 'woke in a cold sweat' symbolising a nightmare. Also, according to the Woodland Trust, toads virtually always have dry skin, so I'd say it would be very easy to tell if Toad was sweating.

Here's a direct quote from the article about the causes and psychology behind adrenaline junkies (the severe ones, the ones who are dependent): "An adrenaline junkie enjoys seeking out activities and experiences that trigger the release of epinephrine. They may feel a compulsion to take part in these pursuits, which often drives them further. When a person undergoes a stressful or intense experience, the amygdala releases the hormones norepinephrine and epinephrine. Bursts of norepinephrine can lead to extreme happiness or euphoria. According to a 2009 study, norepinephrine could be a key factor in a person becoming dependent. Anecdotal evidence suggests that this unconscious need for stimulation can affect the way a person’s everyday behaviour. An adrenaline junkie may therefore create drama in their life to trigger their body’s response to stress. There are few studies on why people enjoy risk-taking activities. However, some research shows that personality type can play a role in a person becoming more of a risk-taker. One 2013 study suggests risk-takers were more likely to have a personality that showed traits of low conscientiousness combined with high extraversion, high neuroticism, or both."

Mate. If this doesn't sum up Toad, idk what does!

Extreme happiness or euphoria?? We see that all the time! He's ecstatic to have his home back, he's a puddle of joy when he finally gets back into a motorcar, barely anything phases him even when Ratty is tearing into him about their past friendship. Of course Toad creates drama, did you see the 'As If In A Dream' sequence? 'The Amazing Mr Toad' was pretty dramatic too, he had an entire performance and wasn't bothered by the hedgehogs at all - he didn't hear them over his joy of getting (what I assume to be) a fake award that was just for show, most likely. According to that 2013 study, Toad definitely has the traits of a risk-taker, at least in my opinion.

Now, in all of this, I'm not talking about substance abuse. This isn't someone administering adrenaline to Toad, but rather about him seeking out thrills to get the feeling of adrenaline and the euphoria that comes with it. This is all natural. At least, in a human sense, and since I'm mostly focusing on the more humanised musical version of WITW, this makes sense. As for the original animals they are based off, I have no idea, I'm not an animal expert.

As with any addiction, there are withdrawal symptoms:

cravings to do the thing he wants to do (as previously mentioned, he fakes a heart attack just to steal a car so he doesn't have to stay cooped up without a car)

less interest in other activities besides what he wants to do (the entire show is about Toad chasing speed, even yelling at the train driver to shovel in more coal to make the train go faster, and he gets bored of things very easily)

negative emotions, such as frustration, agitation, and restlessness (again, see the faking a heart attack scene; he's restless and runs Ratty and Mole around, even Badger to some extent, and gets very easily frustrated [such as when the guard was making a joke at his expense])

"A 2017 study states that individuals suffering from a compulsion to specific actions can reduce tension, stress, or anxiety by carrying them out."

I refer you to the moment when he's back in the toff's car after he's been thrown off the barge: he jumps up and down, requests to get in and then gives it a hug. Here's a picture.

See the smile? All tension and stress at being found out? Gone.

He's in his element, he's back where he feels he belongs. It's euphoric.

This article says that there is no inherent risk involved with leading an "exciting life" but it also says that if things get dangerous and out of hand then one should seek medical attention. These things include:

putting their health and well-being in danger (been in hospital at least 3 times, crashed at least 3 times over the course of the show, got thrown off a moving train and fell off a barge into (very most likely) freezing cold water)

causing distress (see Ratty, Mole and Badger through the show, and also that poor man who's car he stole twice)

causing the person not to fulfil their work, home, or other responsibilities (Toad? Responsible? As if!)

Also, remember the line "then he staggered, and he stumbled, and he fell on one knee"? Well, in the article following this main one, one of the changes to the body during an adrenaline rush is "redirecting blood toward the muscles, causing a surge in energy or shaking limbs". Staggering and stumbling? Well, the guy's just fallen from a barge into cold water and is still in shock from it, makes sense that he'd be all over the place.

Getting a jetpack is the next big thing because he's finally grown weary of motorcars. Finally. Once again, in 'Speed Is Of The Essence' Mrs Otter and Ratty tell both Mole and the audience that "[Toad's] tastes are rather fickle." Toad is showing off by flying around and arriving to his party in a jetpack...and so the cycle starts all over again!

For now, that's all I have to say on Toad. I want to hear what other people think! Even if this gets nowhere I'll have still written it down. Maybe I'll do more deep diving on the other characters soon.

#long post #long reads #wel rambles #witw #witw 2017 #the wind in the willows #toad introspection #toad #mr toad #toad of toad hall #speed is of the essence #character study #addiction #adrenaline addiction #discussion of symptoms #i think toad's addicted to the adrenaline he gets from highspeed cars #this man is obsessed with speed and i needed to ramble about it #he shows both the symptoms of having it and the withdrawal symptoms in the show #speed is an addiction and alas poor toad is hooked is such a good line. the way simon lipkin sang alas? *mm* beautiful #i highly recommend this soundtrack. seriously it's so good. listen to it pls