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#pretend these match i tried <3
smilesflower · 1 year
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hoshi ⟡ egotistic ⟡ 191231
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wingsyliveblogs · 2 years
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It’s time to get back to it! Now, where were we...
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I suspect we’re already seeing the consequences of what Eda said the magic school is like. Willow seems to have plenty of magical ability, seeing as she was able to affect a flower just by being next to it while she was upset, but she’s probably not very good at doing what the school requires of her because her heart isn’t in it. Her talent is with freeform magic, not textbook magic. 
(Meanwhile, Amity seems really good at doing things by-the-book, but I think that she would have a harder time using magic in a more spontaneous environment.)
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jrueships · 2 years
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HERE lmao
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WE DID IT BOYS (PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR DICTIONARY DEFINITION TERM OF ENDEARMENT INTENTION)
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WE W O N ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🤩
#I FELT IT!!! I FELT THE S H I FT#from the ONE (1) green outfit giving off barbecue dad vibes....... i could Feel it coming#they are now matching <3 at some point at some time... they are they were They Now#i love husbands !!!!#they are sitting under a big beach umbrella and giannis goes to raise it higher because he body TOO GOTDAMN BIG 4 THE UMBRELLA!!#and he spots a beach bug in the umbrella and screams and tosses it into the ocean#marcus tries swimming over to get it but he reaches the part of the water where his feet cant touch bottom anymore and he freaks out#and gives up#telling giannis a shark ate it 😔#i love miami games solely for the miami fits i am a MIAMI FIT ENJOYER FIRST basketball watcher SECOND ☝🏿‼️#look at them... lil green limabeans <3#me when my propaganda and manifestations are Real and NOT complex coincidences from similar team color schemes#this is literally love winning live and we are watching it ALL unfold in REAL TIME !!!!#giannis and marcus compete to see who can outgrewn the other#marcus is clearly winning but thats ok because now giannis can pretend to munch on his hair when hes bored#he loooves his vegetables 😸!!!#THANK U FOR SHOWING ME THIS... MY SEARCH... COMPLETE#the world is saved and the dinosaurs Alive#cue the same 50 minute clip of chr*s pr*tt squat shifting over with his arm out to some dinosaur trailer#cue the classic theme song slowed with heavy piano for cool effect#we are. truth#we are. real.#marcus/giannis#cant believe i started it off as just some crack rarepair off personality and Now Look At Us#im so proud 🥰🥰#proud ted dad ALWAYS#ted asks
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norrisleclercf1 · 6 months
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hi an lando x reader please where he always pretends to propose but never really does and some day he really does❤️
A/N: He's a little shit who'd totally do this, but also I think he'd do this to trick you for when he does the actually one.
'23 British GP
You couldn't help but jump up and down as Lando approaches you. "Oh my god!" You cried, running towards him.
Lando laughs happily and drops his stuff, thankful that Jon is carrying the trophy. Jumping forward, Lando happily takes you into his arms. "Oh, so proud of you." You whisper, not caring your shirt is soaked in champagne.
Lando sets you down and pulls back. He couldn't find the words to convey the emotions running rampant in his head and chest. "Lando, just," You take a breath and he smirks, getting a brilliant idea.
"Y/n," He move getting down on one knee, a small scream leaves your lips as you try to wrap your brain around what he was about to do. "Will you," "Wait!" You cry shaking your head and his smile drops. "I was going to ask if you could help me carry my stuff." He stands back up holding out his helmet.
"Oh," You yank the helmet out of his hands and cradle it to your chest. "What? Did you think," "No," You snap and rush off towards the back as he smirks and follows after you.
'23 Hungarian GP
It was a gentle but romantic night walking around the gorgeous city of Budapest. It was your 3 year anniversary, Lando dressed nicely in an all black outfit with you wearing a matching dress but with one of Lando's jackets on you.
"Budapest is pretty," You whisper, resting your head on his shoulder that has him kissing your temple. "I prefer staring at you," Wrinkling your nose he laughs seeing your reaction.
"It's been 3 years," He admits, crazy how much time has passed between the two of you. "Mhm," Cuddling closer to him, Lando stops and stares at you. Turning you raise an eyebrow, confused as to why he stopped. "You know I love you right?" Lando steps back and gets down on one knee.
Covering your mouth, you try hard not to cry as he stares up at you. "I love you," You gasp, standing up straight now and he leans over and fixes the shoelace of his dress shoe and stands right back up.
"Good, let's get to our reservation." He tries hard not to laugh at your deadpan face as he leads you to the restaurant.
'23 Singapore GP
You knew how special this podium was to him. Not only did he fight like hell to keep the Mercedes back, but he also got a podium with one of his best friends and old teammate. Something they used to talk about all the time.
Carlos noticing you, runs over and hugs you tightly, kissing your cheek as the McLaren crew slaps his shoulders and screams loudly. "Lando, behind me!" He yells and soon turns hugging Charles.
"Lando!" The crew yells and your boyfriend run over but stops seeing Carlos. They both hold their arms out before hugging one another. Laughing you watch as his eyes connect with yours.
Letting Carlos go, he runs over telling Adam he got another podium before ripping his helmet off and pulls you in for a kiss. "Marry me!" He yells, but you can't hear anything over the Ferrari and McLaren crew. "What?" Lando's smile grows as he leans in. "I said, I love you." Pulling back as he gets pulled away for the post race interview.
Winter Break
Your friends were over hearing about Lando's joking proposals and how you really did want a real one. It was bugging you, hating how he was taking it as a joke when you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.
Sigh, you tap your foot as you let the elevator take you up to Lando and yours shared apartment. Lando and you were getting ready to go skiing with some friends, so you were coming back from shopping.
The doors ding open and you head to the front door. "Babe, home." You call and haul your bags through the door. "Lando?" You call, getting annoyed when he doesn't answer you.
"Lando!" You yell, and drop your bags and turn, freezing. Lando was surrounded by candles and rose petals as he was down on one knee holding a ring. "Lando," You choke on your words covering your mouth.
"I know you've thought the last 3 times were for real, but this time it is. I kept thinking what you would want when this came time for it. And I realized that, it just being the two of us and small gesture would be perfect, so," Lando takes a deep breath.
"Y/n L/n, will you marry me?" You don't even pay attention to the ring as you fling yourself into his arms crying as you nod your head in agreement. "Yes, fuck yes." Lando laughs and places the ring down as he holds you close.
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sugrhigh · 1 month
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THE BOY IS MINE - ( m.s )
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REQUESTED**
summary- after years of friendship, you’ve seen matt date people before, but none of them have been as bad as this new one. you’ve never interfered with any of the girls in the past, but one night she takes it too far and your true feelings come out.
warnings- cursing, unprotected sex (pretend ur on birth control but also wrap it before you tap it), choking, cheating, dom!matt, it’s smut with a plot guys are we surprised (read at ur own fucking discretion PLEASE!)
a/n: thank you @stonermattsgf for the request!! i fucking loved this concept and the song eats down i hope i did u some justice <3 the touch it chris fic will be coming too cuz im fuckin with that song as well (if you weren’t tagged it wouldn’t let me tag you, i’m sorry!!)
@fawnchives @teapartyprincess4two @sturnioloco @mattinside @l9vesick @sturnsblunt @ev3rgreenxtrees @wh0resstuff @matthewsmocktails @cherrypostsposts @bxbynyah7 @seababehh @sturnsfav @mattsluv @sturniolossss @melanch0lybby @sturniolos-blog @lustfulslxt @sturnioloobssesd @ginswife @amypull @vivianalovesmatt @st4niolos @sturnioloobessed @sturnlova @bigbeefybitch @minhyucks @iheart-zegras @vicsguitarr @melonjollyranche @hearts4matty @vickyzloserz @user8000000 @xoxo4chrisss @unfilteredassmf @mattsbiggesthoe @chrisstopherfilmed @st3rniolo @goldengrapejuice @luv2matt @vsangel-starbies @mikaelabutterfield @mattnchrisworld @bluesturniolo333 @wurlibydominicfike @kp07on @hayleyreadsblog
in no universe did you expect to be pining after one of your best friends.
it had always been strictly platonic between you and matt, aside from a little harmless flirting over the years. you loved him and his brothers so much that you never wanted to mess anything up, or complicate things when the dynamic was already perfect.
but as much as you’re close with each of them, you know you’ve always understood matt on a deeper level. you share the same goals, the same fears, even the same taste in music and movies.
he’s always been the first person to check in, the only one who can read your mood like the back of his hand, the guy who cheers you up and lets you cry on his shoulder when things are shitty.
despite these sweet gestures, you’ve both had your fair share of relationships and flings while being best friends. none of them have ever bothered you before, and you’ve always tried to be respectful and kind to whichever girl he picks.
that is, until now.
matt is sitting across from you on the couch in their living room, slight frown etched on his face. his girlfriend, maya, has her legs sprawled across his lap comfortably, arms linked like she’s claiming him.
her eyes are practically locked on you. you don’t blame her; she’s well aware that you’re not her biggest fan.
all she does is complain about all of the things she doesn’t like about matt. last time she hung out with you guys, she was bitching about the fact that he kissed her in public at a party, as if she was worried he was scaring off other guys.
when he buys her flowers, they’re the wrong ones. if he takes her to dinner, she whines about the food. she’ll even criticize his clothes, demanding that they match and he hides the tattoos. to her, he can’t do anything right, even though he’s incredible just the way he is.
so it drives you absolutely insane watching the way she walks all over matt, all over his brothers, even you. it’s been two months of this agony, and you can’t believe it’s even lasted this long.
you spend nearly every day thinking about how much better you could treat him. every time he touches you, no matter how briefly, your skin burns in desire. it’s selfish to want someone who’s taken, and you’re well aware of that.
but you just love matt, you know him. and he deserves better. maybe it’s you, maybe it’s not. but it’s certainly not maya.
“give it to me, fuckhead.” chris’s voice rips you out of your trance, and you snap your head toward the middle of the U-shaped sofa.
he’s currently fighting nick for the remote, who slaps the side of his arm rather hard. chris lets go, only to pull his brother into a headlock seconds later. nick lets out a yelp of surprise, jamming an elbow into his side to get him to stop.
in all the commotion, you decide to grab the remote for yourself, a wide smile settling across your features as you take it into your palm.
they both notice quickly, groaning in protest as you wave it at them tauntingly.
“too slow! now i get to pick, idiots.” you tease.
“c’mon, i just went to war for that thing.” nick complains, kicking your leg half-heartedly, but you just shake your head.
“snooze you lose.”
you scroll through your options, trying to pay no mind to the way maya is whispering to matt for so long she could be reciting the bible. then your eyes land on a title that makes you pause, chuckling a little to yourself.
“oh no way, they have fucking cocaine bear on here?” chris cackles.
nick looks rather amused himself, raising his eyebrows like he’s intrigued. “i mean, i’m game.”
you glance over at matt, who’s already looking at you with a grin on his face. he mentioned the movie to you a little while ago, and how he just had to see how stupid it was eventually.
“why would we waste our time watching this shit? isn’t it supposed to be awful?” maya chimes from beside him, and your gaze narrows in on her.
“it’ll be funny, you know, ‘cause it’s so bad.” you reply, trying to keep your voice light and friendly.
she tilts her head to the side slightly, studying you with disapproving eyes. “yeah, i’m not so sure about trusting your taste. i mean, that god-awful outfit is just one example.”
the air seems to be sucked out of the room as you grip your sweats self-consciously. nobody moves, nobody speaks. you feel the anger flare up in your veins as you look at matt, wondering if he’s going to step in like he should.
but he doesn’t. in fact, he’s avoiding your gaze altogether. so you square your shoulders and turn your focus back to the girl you dislike so much. you’re done with the passive aggressive comments, with all of the bullshit glares and insults.
you’re done letting her bulldoze you. if matt wants to go through that, fine. but he doesn’t have to take everyone down with him by subjecting them to maya’s presence.
“well, you seem to be the only one who has a problem with my taste, so maybe you should just leave.” you say calmly, smiling sarcastically at the end because you can’t help it.
her mouth pops open, and you can hear chris and nick trying to stifle their gasps and chuckles. even the corner of matt’s lips turn up, which makes you wonder.
maya turns to look at her boyfriend, completely astonished. “are you seriously going to let her talk to me like that?”
he seems conflicted as he briefly looks your direction, clearing his throat to buy some time. you tilt an eyebrow, crossing your arms like you’re just waiting for him to pick his side.
she may have asked the question, but now you’re dying to know the answer.
“maya is right. and, uh, i think you should apologize.” matt fumbles with his words, unable to speak to you directly.
you feel the fury work its way up your face, and you force yourself to blink away the burning sensation of frustrated tears. maya looks far too satisfied, and you want to slap the smirk off of her face.
but you know you can’t lay hands on her, so you decide your words will have to be your knives.
“you know what, i am sorry,” you begin, raising your hands in surrender.
they’re both a bit surprised by this change in direction, so after a brief pause, you continue.
“i’m really sorry that you’re dating a stuck up bitch. i’m sorry that she’s constantly taking advantage of your kindness. i’m sorry that she treats you like shit, that she talks down to you like you’re a child, that she’s never satisfied with the things you do. and i’m especially sorry that you continue to let her, because you can do so much better.”
if maya’s eyeballs could pop out of her skull, you would imagine it would be exactly like how she looks right now. matt is also slack jawed beside her, and you can’t be near him any longer.
so you stand up, turning to leave the boy you love so much without another word.
the fresh night air of spring is a relief once you step out the front door, and you try to let it calm you as you hustle toward your car. you can already feel your phone buzzing in your back pocket as you move, presumably nick and chris.
you hope they’re not angry. it’s bad enough knowing that you’ve royally fucked things up with matt, but you couldn’t bare it if all three of them hated you.
you practically toss yourself into the drivers seat, slamming the door closed with a force that shakes the entire vehicle. you’re peeling out of the driveway before you can even reflect on the consequences of your actions, speeding home as if your life depended on it.
your ringtone continues to erupt as you drive along the backroads, but you force yourself to ignore it for the time being.
only once you throw the car into park in your own driveway do you check the messages, scrolling through the numerous notifications. unsurprisingly most of them are from nick and chris like you presumed, wondering if you’re alright and applauding you for finally standing up to the wicked witch of the west.
for a brief moment, their kind words make you feel better.
but then your eyes catch a contact that you actually don’t expect; matt’s. you stare at your device, throat going completely dry. a missed call and two texts.
matt
i’m coming over
don’t bother saying no, im already on my way
that was five minutes ago, which means he’s not too far behind you. you tear out of your car and across the yard, throwing the door open carelessly.
your heart is still slamming against your ribcage, and fear crawls up your throat as you press your back to the wood, kicking your flip flops off in the general direction of the coat rack.
your mind flashes to the idea of him yelling at you, which you suppose would be somewhat warranted. you’ve seen matt angry on a couple of occasions, and you can’t imagine he has anything kind to say to you right now.
you pace the foyer as you wait for his arrival, picking at the beds of your fingernails anxiously.
and then it happens; the loud knock on the front door, followed by another series of harsh slams.
impatient motherfucker.
you straighten up as your palm wraps around the knob, sucking in a breath before pulling it open to reveal a rather disheveled matt.
he’s breathing heavy, hair messy as if he’s been tugging at it for the entire drive. his earrings glint in the porch light as he stares at you like he’s trying to commit every feature to memory, wetting his lips hungrily.
“matt—”
you barely get his name out before he wraps his ring-clad fingers around your throat, pulling your mouth to his harshly. he molds against you perfectly, his other hand traveling to your hip to hold you flush against his own body.
he just couldn’t help it. he was so desperate on the entire ride over, replaying your outburst on a loop in his mind as he drove further and further away from his girlfriend. there’s been only a few occasions he’s seen you that upset, and your comments had been a necessary slap in the face.
plus, watching you fight for him when he was too much of a bitch to do it himself was a bigger turn-on than he’d like to admit.
all he’s ever wanted is you. and it shouldn’t have taken this long to admit it to himself.
matt guides you backwards, hand still squeezing your neck as he blindly kicks the door shut with one foot. you feel your back bump against the kitchen counter, and you’re trying to register what the hell is going on, but his kiss is so fucking intoxicating that it’s impossible to think clearly.
his tongue slides against yours passionately, and the flavored chapstick you’re wearing is driving him insane. you can feel him growing hard against your thigh as he toys with the elastic waistband of your pants suggestively.
you have no idea if this means it’s officially over with him and maya, but you find that you quite frankly don’t give a shit.
in this moment, he’s yours.
his fingers finally dip into your sweats a few seconds later, traveling down to brush against your clothed heat as he moves his mouth to your jaw sloppily. a breathy moan escapes before you can stop it, involuntarily rutting your hips against his cold rings in search of more friction.
one of your hands goes to grip the hair at the nape of his neck while the other claws at his back, desperately wrapping your knuckle around the cloth of his muscle tee.
“you like that?” matt grumbles against your throat, nipping at the skin as he begins to apply real pressure to your cunt in little circular motions.
your back arches and you tilt your head to the side so you can give him full access, silently hoping he’ll leave a mark behind.
“you’ve been thinking about me touching you like this, haven’t you? wishing i would come fuck you instead of her?” he questions further, moving his head slightly so he’s speaking directly into your ear.
the hand that was choking you slides down so he can grope your chest, his thumb running over one of your hardened nipples through the thin shirt you’re wearing. the combined pleasure has you whining in his grasp, a submissive sound that you wish you weren’t making.
you can feel him grinning as he presses his mouth to that sweet spot below your earlobe, his tongue darting out to wet the area.
“you want me just as much.” you manage to find your voice, though your claim is muttered with no conviction.
matt pauses his movements and brings both hands to your waistband again, which makes you whimper as you clench around nothing. his mouth finds yours briefly to swallow the sound, and he bites down on your bottom lip as he pulls away.
“you’re not wrong. so are you gonna give me what i want, baby?” he asks as he teases your sweats and panties just a little lower on your hips.
“keep going.” you plead.
you let go of your grip on his body so he can tug both items down to your ankles, helping you step out of their grasp before discarding them a couple feet away.
matt doesn’t immediately stand back up; instead he takes his time, kissing the side of your knees as his hands slide up the outside of your thighs. you feel so exposed, so on-display that you clench your legs together before you can help it.
he immediately pries them apart, shaking his head slightly with a little smirk. “don’t be shy now, you had so much to say earlier.”
his words spur you on, so you spread yourself wider, opting to grip the counter as he reattaches his lips to your inner thighs. matt inches closer and closer to where you really need him, taking his time to nip at the supple flesh that comes before.
he pulls away right when you think he’s finally about to put his mouth on you, letting his hot breath fan across your soaked center. it makes you shiver in anticipation, and you’re getting a little too needy now.
“quit fucking teas—oh shit.”
you throw your head back as his two fingers spread you apart, tongue coming in contact with the middle of your cunt as he laps at the wetness that had pooled there.
he slows his pace slightly after a moment, making sure to pay attention to the whole area, working his way up until his nose bumps against your clit. you spit a curse out, letting one hand go so you can grip his soft hair.
matt continues on, his lips closing around the sensitive bud so he can apply more pressure and suction. your gut flips at the sensation and your grip on his roots tightens as his mouth works.
he grumbles, loving the way you’re pulling at him so desperately. the noise sends vibrations through your core, which only makes the experience more enjoyable.
“fuckkk, matt, feels so good.” you praise dumbly, your words slurring.
the vocal admiration makes his pulse quicken, and at this point he’s straining against his jeans. he just can’t believe he’s got you like this, grinding your cunt against his face as if he’s the best you’ve ever had.
he can tell you’re growing closer just based on the little gasps and moans leaving your mouth, and your legs begin to shake ever so slightly. but he won’t let you finish just yet.
“want to be inside this pretty pussy.” he pulls away to say it, pressing one more wet kiss to the delicate area before he gets up.
you’re craving more, so you decide to take initiative, reaching for his belt and fumbling to undo the buckle. you tear it from the loops and toss it away, moving to his zipper as he reaches behind his head to tug his loose tank off.
his pants fall to the floor, leaving him in only his tented boxers. he’s quick to kick his shoes off, followed by his jeans right after.
then his hands go to your waist, fingers digging into the smooth flesh.
“up.” he instructs bluntly, helping lift you onto the end of the marbled countertop so he’s standing between your legs.
he lifts your shirt up next, and you help him out by throwing your arms above your head so he can fully remove it. his eyes train downwards, admiring the way your sheer bra hugs your tits. it hardly leaves anything to the imagination, and matt finds it extremely hot that you’ve been wearing it all night without him knowing.
before he can make a move, you surprise him by reaching back confidently to unhook the garment yourself. you let it slip from your shoulders before throwing it to your side, revealing your bare chest to him wordlessly.
he pulls his lip between his teeth as he exhales, gently guiding you downwards so your back is pressed flat against the cool surface. matt looks intimidating standing over you, his dark eyes drinking in every inch of your body.
“you’re so fucking sexy.” he says in awe, leaning down to give you another real kiss, a salty mix of sweat and arousal on his lips.
then he finds his way down to your collarbone, staying there shortly before traveling between the valley of your breasts. without warning, he presses his tongue flat across one nipple, flicking it back and forth.
you push your chest further into his face with a moan, both hands in his hair this time. he moves to the other perky bud, sucking on it as his teeth graze the tissue ever so slightly.
you’re practically writhing underneath him, and you can feel the pit growing in your stomach again. so even though it feels incredible, you yank his head back off of your chest by his hair.
“need you to fuck me.” you mutter, pushing his hair out of his face with both of your hands.
matt nods once, straightening so he can slide his underwear down. his erection finally springs free, pink tip glistening with precum. you watch as he spreads the wetness around, pumping himself in his hand a few times.
he’s bigger than you expected, and your mouth is watering just thinking about how much you want him to be pounding into you already.
“wrap your legs around me princess.” he commands gruffly, and you do just as you’re told, hooking your ankles behind his back.
his dick presses against your heat, and you buck against it to try and feel more. matt is quick to steady your hips roughly, holding you down against the edge of the counter as he teases himself into your entrance.
you both moan, his low and rumbling, yours high-pitched and greedy. you use your thighs to pull him closer, forcing him to drive into you fully so you can feel that pleasurable stretch.
“mmmn—fuck, you’re so tight.” he sighs, giving you another moment before he begins to drag his cock in and out at a steady pace.
you rock with him as best you can, finding the perfect rhythm so that he’s plowing his full length into you, filling the house with the sound of skin slapping skin.
matt lets one hand wrap around your neck again to choke you, tattoos on display as his muscles flex, and the pressure traps your lewd cries in your throat. his other fingers continue to toy with your nipples, which makes you arch off the counter, head rolled back as your eyes screw shut.
“look at you, taking me like such a good girl. just like i knew you would.” he compliments breathlessly.
he starts snapping his hips harder, enjoying the way your tits bounce as you slide slightly against the slick counter. you look so fucking beautiful, mouth partially open, barely able to squeak out a moan.
never in a million years did matt think he’d get the opportunity to fulfill all of his shamefully dirty fantasies about you, but here you are, completely naked and spread out in your own kitchen.
you’re squeezing around him now with every stroke, and he somehow keeps getting deeper, hitting your g-spot in a way that makes you jerk.
the familiar feeling of your abs tightening occurs as you get closer to your orgasm, and you swear you’re seeing stars at this point. he’s right there with you, a groaning mess as your fingers reach up to dig into his bicep.
“yes, matt, right there! m’gonna—” you fumble over your words, unable to finish the thought as the satisfaction builds.
he uses the last of his strength to drill into you, moving both hands back to your waist quickly so he can slam you down on his cock a few more times.
“come all over this dick baby, don’t hold back.”
you’re practically screaming his name as you hit your high, releasing all over him as his hot cum spills into you at the same time.
he slows his movements as you look up at him with bleary eyes, enjoying the last moments of being inside you before he pulls out. you feel your mixed arousal dripping out onto the counter, and you don’t even care that you’ll have to clean it up later.
that was completely worth the mess.
your chest continues to heave as you relish in the come down, dropping your thighs from his hips so he’s free to move around.
but matt stays between them, leaning down to capture your mouth with his one final time. it’s brief, but it means more than either of you truly understand.
he’s the one to break it first, pressing his forehead against yours before he speaks. “you’re incredible, you know that?”
you smile weakly, pushing against his chest to put some distance between the two of you. reality is creeping back in, reminding you that this was probably a one time thing.
“help me down?” you ask, and he complies.
matt lifts you a bit as you slide off the countertop, setting you back on real ground a second later. you’re not sure what to say as you stand before him, completely fucked out and terrified of whatever is coming next.
“so, um…i should probably get cleaned up.” you try to sound casual, even though you’re feeling anything but relaxed.
he immediately notices the switch in tone, the way you’re wrapping your arms around yourself like you’re trying to shrink away and hide. he’s also pretty sure he knows where this insecurity is coming from.
his fingers go to grip your chin gently, demanding that you look him in the face. your eyes widen as he brushes his thumb along your swollen bottom lip.
“i’m cutting things off with maya. i just…love you. and i’m sorry it took me so long.” matt finally admits.
it takes a second to click in your brain, but when it does a wide grin spreads across your face. butterflies erupt in your stomach, and you kiss the pad of his finger as he moves it along your mouth.
“i love you too, but i think you knew that already.” you tease playfully.
“yeah, maybe. but i like hearing you say it out loud.”
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girlgenius1111 · 2 months
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all of my past i tried to erase it
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part 3 of family line tensions are still high between Ingrid and her sister. Mapi tries to keep the peace. Solstråle tries to pretend she's fine. Ingrid tries to pretend she isn't going insane not understanding what is going on. cw: mentions of poor mental health / panic attacks. ingrid is pretty worried about solstråle and whether or not she is safe.
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It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Mapi bringing her parents to the match shouldn’t have gotten to you the way it did. You didn’t really have an explanation for it, either. You saw Ingrid talking to Mapi’s mom and it felt like everything that had gotten marginally better in the last few days had miraculously disappeared. 
You were 8 again, sitting in the office at school, fielding pitying looks from the office ladies. Both of your parents were busy watching one of Ingrid’s matches; at just 16, she was playing for Rosenborg. Your mom was supposed to bring you to watch, too. She’d forgotten. 
You were 10 again, lying to the school nurse that your parents hadn’t known you’d hurt your hand. She said it looked broken, and you pretended that you hadn’t asked your mom to take you to the doctor the night before. You pretended your mom hadn’t told you to stop faking injuries when the attention wasn’t on you for one minute. 
You were 13 again, sobbing into your pillow, while everyone celebrated just down the hall. Ingrid was leaving to play in Lillestrøm. 5 hours away. She was leaving you behind. 
You were 16, having just been dumped by your first girlfriend. You’d come home in tears, and when you told your dad what was wrong, he told you it was for the best, that a girlfriend was just a distraction. He warned you not to bother your sister with this, because she was busy with much more important things in Barcelona. 
You were 17, so drunk you could barely speak, walking home on a dark road in the middle of the night because neither of your parents had answered the phone to come and get you from the horrific party you already regretted attending. It was dark, a windy road you were walking along, and if a car came, you weren’t sure your reflexes would be quick enough. You were 17, stumbling over the smooth pavement, the depression you’d been trying to drown in alcohol making a reappearance. You were 17,  thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if it all ended there, just like this. 
You were 17, standing in the airport with your parents, preparing to board the plane to Spain. You leaned in towards your mother for a hug. She avoided it, pinching your cheek lightly, and reminding your father that they had a dinner reservation to get to. You watched them walk out of the airport from your place in the security line. Your vision was blurred with tears, but you still could tell that they didn’t look back at you once. You were 17, and your mom hadn’t told you she loved you before you moved across the continent. 
In a second, all of these memories that you’d fought so hard to keep locked away deep inside your head were flooding out. Tears were pricking your eyes, and you cursed yourself for being so stupid. Ingrid didn’t care. Mapi didn’t care. You weren’t worth caring about. How had you forgotten that? How had you let yourself forget that, after everything? 
Ingrid didn’t see your expression change, too busy thanking Mapi’s parents profusely for coming to see her play. Mapi did, though. She watched as you caught sight of your sister talking to her mom, and she watched as you flinched like someone had swung at you.  She watched as you slipped out of the crowd, speed walking into the building. Mapi was torn in 2 directions, Ingrid on one side, and you running off the other way. You needed Ingrid, most definitely but Mapi didn’t like the look on your face as you ran off, like all of the emotion had been sucked out of you, and all that was left was exhaustion. 
Someone else had noticed your disappearing act, though. Caro stood, staring after you, before her gaze fell to Mapi, raising an eyebrow. The defender nodded, and Caro followed after you, while Mapi turned to her girlfriend. She pulled her away from her parents with an apologetic smile, appreciating that Alexia walked over and picked up the conversation where it had left off. 
“Ingrid, vamos,” Mapi whispered urgently. Ingrid looked at her, confused and unmoving. 
“What? I was in the middle of a conversation, María,” the Norwegian scolded. 
“I know, it’s your Solstråle, though, she’s upset, come on,” Mapi insisted, pulling on Ingrid’s hand, who finally seemed to feel a sense of urgency, and let Mapi lead her into the building. 
“Upset? Why? Did something happen?” 
“She saw you with my mom and just looked really upset.” Mapi explained. A bit of understanding washed over Ingrid’s face, and now she was the one leading her girlfriend, rushing down the hall and beginning to open door after door in search of you. 
Caro, meanwhile, had found you pretty easily. You were on the floor of a room she often came to when she was overwhelmed, although that happened much less these days. You knew Caro, obviously, and she knew you, had known you since you were pretty young. She had a calming presence, and the minute she sat next to you, and extended her hand in your direction, you took it gratefully. 
“Mapi is bringing Ingrid.” She told you, but didn’t say anything else. She just sat next to your trembling form and held your hand.  It was enough for now, enough until your sister arrived. 
And when Ingrid did arrive, it was with a loud bang as she threw the door open, sighing in relief at the sight of you. Though, that relief quickly dissolved back into worry at the state you were in. She quickly took Caro’s place at your side, hesitantly wrapping an arm around your shoulders. Your sister was surprised when you turned and threw your arms around her neck, crying silently into her shirt. 
“Jeg har deg, kjære. Det er greit, du er ok.” She murmured, looking worriedly at the other two women hovering in the doorway of the room. Mapi nodded at her encouragingly, and Ingrid refocused, rubbing a hand slowly up and down your back. 
“Thank you,” Mapi muttered to Caro, as they both stepped into the hall to give you some space. 
“Of course.” Caro said easily. “She having a hard time?” 
“Which one?” Mapi asked wryly. “Yes. It’s… it’s a work in progress.” 
“She’s a good kid.” Caro noted, Mapi nodding her head in agreement. “Well, Marta and I are around if either of you need anything.” 
“Thank you, Caro. Really.” Mapi said, squeezing the forward’s shoulder. Caro just shrugged like it was no big deal, and headed back out to the pitch. When Mapi reentered the room, you were tucked perfectly into Ingrid’s lap, although you seemed to have calmed down some. Ingrid was speaking to you in hushed Norwegian, and something she said had you lurching away from her and to your feet, stumbling blindly to the door. 
“Solstråle, wait,” Ingrid called, not really sure what she said to upset you, but well aware that it had been something. You fell right into Mapi’s arms, and though she looked a little startled, she easily pulled you close. 
“Okay, it’s alright. We’re all okay.” She murmured, noticing the rather heartbroken expression on her girlfriend’s face at the fact that you had fled from her right into Mapi’s arms. After a few minutes, you said something quietly that neither girl could hear. “What was that, nena?”
“Can we go ho- back to the house?” You asked, correcting yourself quickly, and pulling away from the comforting embrace Mapi had you in. Ingrid felt like you’d stabbed her, honestly, when you didn’t let yourself call it home. You were stoic again, though, your face void of emotion, wiping roughly at your cheeks to rid them of tears. 
“Kjære,” Ingrid said, hating the way you forced all evidence of your breakdown away. You’d been so upset, about something, but now you were acting as though nothing had happened. Your sister would have climbed into your brain if she could’ve, just to understand what was going on in there. 
“Let’s go home.” Mapi said easily, shooting her girlfriend a meaningful look. Ingrid wasn’t supposed to push you, she knew that. It was just getting harder and harder to not do so, especially when she could see how much pain you were in. She couldn't understand why you wouldn’t just talk to her, and you couldn’t understand why she was so concerned or why she was so desperate to hear what you were feeling. And considering it was the two of you, the situation was bound to blow up into an argument. It was just a matter of time. 
-------
Ingrid knew what was coming before her phone rang, but she still desperately wanted to avoid it. She was quite comfortable at the moment, curled up on top of Mapi in their bed, a show playing softly in the background. Mapi was scratching lightly at Ingrid’s scalp with one hand, and tracing lines over her back with the other. The movements made Ingrid’s entire body relax, which had definitely been Mapi’s goal, but it was all interrupted when her phone went off from next to her. 
She sat up off her girlfriend, glancing at the screen, her expression hardening. 
“Your mom?” Mapi guessed, pulling Ingrid back down into her when the Norwegian declined the call. 
“Yes.”
“You haven’t talked to her since Solstråle’s letter, have you?” 
“No.” Ingrid said. “I think I hate her right now.” 
Mapi was surprised, only because Ingrid didn’t hate anyone. If there was going to be a person, though, it would be someone who had hurt you. Because Ingrid didn’t like to kill spiders she found in the house, but Mapi knew she would kill a person for you without a second thought. “That’s okay. You can hate her.” 
“I miss her.” Ingrid admitted after another minute, her voice cracking. Her forehead was scrunched with sadness, and her hands gripped Mapi’s shirt tight in her hands. 
Mapi sighed, wishing she could take Ingrid’s pain away. And yours too, for that matter. “You can miss her too. You can feel whatever you need to feel.” 
“No, I can’t, not when Solstråle is so upset,” 
“How your sister feels does not limit how you feel. You can be hurt, and sad, and frustrated too. It doesn’t take away from pequeña’s feelings. Just like her feelings don’t take away from yours. You are both upset. That’s alright.” Mapi said confidently. “This isn’t just happening to your sister. It’s happening to you, too, and you can be sad, mi amor. You can cry.” 
Ingrid hadn’t even known she’d been about to cry until Mapi said that, but suddenly there were tears running down her face, and she was clutching tightly to the Spaniard underneath her, who did not seem surprised at all at the sudden emotion. 
“I know, baby.” Mapi husked, pressing kiss after kiss to the top of Ingrid’s head. She knew Ingrid needed this, and was content to let her cry it out until she heard a sharp breath from the doorway. You were standing just outside the room, frozen and horrified. 
“I’m sorry, Ing,” you mumbled, having come in to say goodnight, rather stunned to see your sister so distraught. 
Ingrid could only cry harder, now furious with herself for letting you see this, but too upset to do anything but squeeze Mapi’s hand, wordlessly begging for her to do something. 
“Ven aqui, nena, it’s alright.” Mapi said, gesturing you over to the bed. You looked skeptical, but you did so anyway, carefully sitting on the bed next to your sister. 
“I’m really sorry, Ingrid, I don’t mean to stress you out.” You whispered. You were in a guilty mood, it seemed, not an angry one, and Ingrid felt that somehow, she preferred when you were angry to this. 
“Don’t apologize, pequeña. You haven’t done anything wrong. Ingrid is upset, and you’re upset. It’s okay to be upset, and it’s okay to cry.” Sometimes, Mapi felt like she was teaching preschoolers how to identify and express their emotions when she talked to the both of you, though that might be an easier task.
“I’m not upset with you, Solstråle, I am upset with mom, and I am upset with myself. You don’t need to say sorry. Not for having a panic attack, for having a hard time, for any of it.” Ingrid managed then, taking your hand in hers. 
“I’m doing my best.” You said. “I know I’m not making it easy, but I promise I’m trying.” 
“We know you are. You’re doing so well, nena.” Mapi said enthusiastically, with so much excitement at you saying something remotely positive about yourself that you and Ingrid both cracked smiles. 
“Do you want to talk about it?” Ingrid asked after a minute. At that, you withdrew, pulling your hand from Ingrid’s and rising from the bed. Both your sister and her girlfriend repressed sighs at your sudden withdrawal. 
“No, I’m really tired. I came to say goodnight. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” You rushed out, before bolting out of the room at a speed that could barely be considered a walk. 
Ingrid sighed once you were out of earshot, settling back into Mapi. “She’s so difficult.”
“She’s stubborn. Like her sister. She’ll come around, just give her time.” Mapi assured her. 
Giving you time, though, was a lot harder than it seemed. 
-------
Your whole life, you had been encouraged by your parents to be smaller, to take up less space. If you were upset, you should keep it to yourself. If you were angry, you should calm down. You were taught that your needs always came second to everyone else’s. You didn’t like to be vulnerable with people, and you didn’t like to put your emotions on others. 
So when you woke up the next day, it was the feeling of intense shame swirling around inside of you. You’d ruined what was an impressive win for your sister, and a nice moment with Mapi’s parents. You’d upset Ingrid, so much so that she had cried about it. 
Too much. You were being too much. 
You resolved yourself to be happy today. If not happy, content. Mapi and Ingrid probably needed a day off from your ridiculous, all over the place, emotions. So today, you wouldn’t feel. You’d be perfect, you’d be small, and you’d cause as little trouble as possible. 
What you didn’t expect, though, was for that to be the opposite of what Mapi and Ingrid wanted from you. They didn’t care if you took up space. They just wanted you to talk. More than anything, they just wanted you to be okay, no matter how inconvenient that process was for them. 
It was a day off for both girls, due to the match the day before, and they were able to let you sleep in. Ingrid was worried you were sleeping too much, but Mapi assured her that angsty teens always needed a lot of sleep, and depressed teens going through a rough time needed even more sleep. Pair that with the intense panic attack you’d had the day before, you were bound to be exhausted. 
When noon rolled around, though, and you’d yet to make an appearance, Mapi relented, much to Ingrid’s relief, who had half a mind to check you for a pulse. Mapi made a coffee to bring up to you, opening your door quietly to find you out cold under the covers. 
With Snø clutched tightly in your arms, your nose pressed against the soft polar bear, you looked so young. 
“Pequeña, despierta,” Mapi murmured, sitting on the edge of your bed and pulling the covers away from your face a bit. 
You blinked up at her groggily, an adorably sleepy expression on your face, and Mapi couldn’t help but push some hair out of your face and smile down at you. You looked slightly suspicious, as you couldn’t remember being woken up like this in the entire time living in Spain, but Mapi just handed you your coffee, and settled on the edge of your bed. 
“Morning,” you said after a minute and a rather large sip of coffee. 
“Afternoon.” Mapi corrected, a little confused when your face turned red at the comment. “It’s 12:15.” 
“That’s weird. Normally Ingrid comes to make sure I’m breathing if I sleep past 10.” You noted. 
Mapi chuckled. “We’re working on some of your sister’s annoying habits.” 
“Don’t get rid of too many, or there won’t be anything left.” You said, your lips tugging up into a smirk. 
“Okay! I will just go through this chocolate croissant I made for you in the garbage!” Ingrid scoffed from the doorway, turning on her heel and marching back down the stairs. 
If there was any surefire way to get you out of bed, it was to present you with a breakfast pastry. 
Within 90 seconds, you had kicked Mapi out, thrown some clothes on and bounded down the stairs, in search of the promised croissant. It was sitting on a plate at the counter, waiting for you, next to your sister who was glaring at you slightly. 
“Thank you, Ing,” you said sweetly, throwing her a charming smile. She rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. 
You hit Mapi’s hand playfully when she reached for your croissant, and she withdrew it with a laugh. “You’re like breakfast pastries the way Ingrid is about coffee.” 
“Reasonable? Reasonably attached to it? Is that what you mean, María?” Ingrid asked with a frown. 
“Of course, mi amor.” Mapi said with a smile, kissing Ingrid’s cheek softly. You averted your eyes, but you couldn’t lie and say that it didn’t make you happy to see your sister loved so well. 
The morning, or afternoon, was going exactly as you’d hoped. No attempts at conversation. No feelings. Of course, it couldn’t last. Once you’d finished eating, Ingrid perked up and seemed to prepare herself for what she was about to say, which instantly made you weary. 
“We should talk about last night, kjære.” Ingrid said calmly. 
You froze, slowly putting your mug back on the counter. Both other girls watched the way your whole body tense, the way every ounce of emotion was wiped off your face. 
“I’m fine. There’s nothing to talk about.” You said stiffly. 
“That is not true. Something upset you, and we should discuss it.” Ingrid argued. 
“Ingrid, it’s fine. Just leave it. We don’t need to talk about that. We don’t need to talk about anything.” You replied defensively. 
“It’s not fine!” Ingrid said, raising her voice, and shaking off Mapi’s gestures to calm down. “None of this is fine. We need to talk about last night. We need to talk about the letter you wrote. We need to get you in therapy. These are all things that need to happen, solstråle. We’ve given you time, now we need to do this.” 
“I am not going to therapy.” You declared, standing up with a scoff and crossing your arms across your chest. “Ingrid, I am fine. I don’t need to talk and I don’t need help.” 
Ingrid grew visibly more angry with you at that, throwing her arms up in the air in frustration. 
“Amor, take a breath.” Mapi said quietly, sighing to herself when Ingrid did not do so. 
“You don’t need help? That is the most untrue thing I have ever heard. You do not write the things that you wrote and then turn around and say you’re fine. You. Need. Help.” 
“Ingrid. I am not going to therapy, and I am done talking about this.” You said, your voice dangerously quiet. 
Your sister wasn’t phased, stepping closer to you with her eyes narrowed. “You will go to therapy if I say you will, and this conversation is not over until I say it is.” 
In retrospect, even Ingrid realized that this was decidedly the wrong thing to say. You didn’t take well to being told what to do. Your reaction really should have been worse; Ingrid had gotten off easy. 
“Jesus, Ingrid, do you hear yourself? You sound just like mom.” You spit back, feeling a bit of satisfaction at the hurt that flashed across your sister’s face. “I don’t want to talk about this, especially not with you.” You spun around and began stomping towards the stairs. “Don’t fucking follow me.” You warned over your shoulder, causing Ingrid’s jaw to drop. 
“Do not-” Ingrid began, starting after you. 
“Amor, leave her.” Mapi said, intervening before Ingrid got very far, and pulling her back. 
“She is the most frustrating person on the planet.” Ingrid huffed, slamming a hand down onto the counter. Mapi looked unimpressed. 
“She is probably thinking the same thing about you right now. I told you not to push her.” 
Ingrid rolled her eyes. “Could you be on my side here for once?” She asked bitingly. 
Mapi very calmly shook her head, opening her mouth to explain when Ingrid’s eyebrows flew up on her forehead. “No. I am on your sister’s side, and you should be too. No one has been for a really long time.”
The Norwegian deflated at that, sinking down into one of the stools at the counter. Mapi continued speaking, pulling Ingrid’s hair gently out of the bun it was in, and running her fingers through it. “You’re looking at this wrong, mi amor. She doesn’t need you to talk her into therapy. She’ll get there on her own, you just need to give her time. That girl has a long way to go before she admits she needs help, believe me.” 
Ingrid sighed deeply. “Can you go check on her? She’s mad at me, I just need you to make sure she’s okay and she isn’t going to do anything stupid.” 
“Of course.” Mapi said, delicately kissing Ingrid’s lips. “I love you.” She reminded the Norwegian with a soft, almost shy smile. 
Ingrid wanted to cry at how sweet, how perfect, how helpful and kind and funny and beautiful her girlfriend was. “I love you, so so much.” 
Mapi headed for the stairs, and Ingrid made yet another cup of coffee, a coffee she wouldn’t drink.
Because Mapi came running back down the stairs a minute later, an apprehensive look on her face as she approached her girlfriend. 
“Mi amor, she isn’t up there.” She said carefully. 
“What do you mean she isn’t up there,” Ingrid asked, rising to her feet and feeling panic rise within her. 
Mapi just shook her head, putting her hands on Ingrid’s shoulders. “She isn’t up there. Her window is open, I think she snuck out.” 
Ingrid felt like something inside of her was collapsing, leaving behind a chasm that was quickly filling with anxiety. “Where… what? She… she’s gone? She…we have to-” 
What had you left to do? Only horrible, life shattering options of where you were and what you were doing were flying through Ingrid’s head, and she reached out, latching on to Mapi’s outstretched hands. 
“Amor, breathe. Calm down. We’ll find her. Where would she go?” 
Mapi hoped, with everything in her, that Ingrid had an answer. Because she had to be calm right now, for Ingrid, but Barcelona was a big city. And if you didn’t want to be found… Mapi didn’t know what would happen. 
Ingrid’s mind was racing, but one thought pushed to the front of everything else. “The lake, there’s a lake in Melhus she would always go to when she was upset. She’d go to water, a body of water.” 
Mapi nodded. “Okay, there are 2 beaches in walking distance, in opposite directions. We’ll go to one, and we’ll send Frido to the other.” 
Privately, Mapi hoped Frido found you first. She wasn’t quite sure that you wouldn’t bolt away from Ingrid, but you wouldn’t be expecting Frido to pop up. 
-------
A quick call to Frido later, Mapi was directing one very frazzled Norwegian into the car, and setting off for the beach. Ingrid was deep in thought, and Mapi kept her hand on her girlfriend’s leg, softly and soothingly rubbing her thumb back and forth. It was only a few minutes to the beach, and Mapi knew Ingrid would talk before they arrived. 
“Do you think she’d do something stupid?” Ingrid asked anxiously, her hand covering Mapi’s and gripping tightly. The Spaniard didn’t need her to explain what she meant; she knew this question was coming, really. 
“She said she wouldn’t.” Mapi said calmly. 
“She said she wouldn’t ‘do that to me,’ that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t do it, especially now that she’s mad at me.”
“This is a little fight. She wouldn’t… do that. Not over this.” Mapi reassured her, but Ingrid remained unconvinced. 
“I don’t know what she’s thinking, María, maybe she was lying before.” 
“Ingrid, mi amor, calm down. You have to trust her. Even when you’re scared, and even when it feels like you should take her bedroom door off the hinges and implant her with a GPS chip. You have to trust her not to hurt herself.”
“But what if she does?” Ingrid asked softly, as if saying the words loud enough would somehow will it into existence. 
“We can’t think like that. Promise me you won’t think like that, okay?” 
“Okay.” Ingrid agreed faintly. Both of them knew she was lying. It was all she’d been worrying about for days, and all she would worry about for many to come. 
--------
Frido found you first. When she drove by the beach and didn't see you there, she got another idea. There was a rock climbing place nearby; Ingrid had said you always used to go to a lake back home when you were upset. Though Frido didn’t want to say so, it had been a long time since Ingrid had lived with you, and it wouldn’t have surprised her if your habits had changed. And the Swede knew from your instagram that you spent a lot of time rock climbing. She told Mapi where she was headed, and sped over to the gym. 
Sure enough, as soon as she walked in the building, she spotted you in the middle of the hardest wall, seemingly only using the smallest holds to get yourself up. You were breathing hard, and the worker belaying you looked a bit concerned. 
Frido pulled her phone out, shooting off a quick text to Mapi.  “She’s here, she’s okay. Let me talk to her, don’t let Ingrid come in. I’ll bring her out.” 
Ingrid probably wouldn’t help the situation, if you were as angry as you seemed. The blonde spoke quickly to the front desk attendant, and headed over to where you were. 
She stood, just watching you. You were a few feet from the top now, luckily for your hands, which you clearly had not put enough chalk on, and were beginning to really hurt. With only a bit to go, you took a risk, attempting an impressive, one armed pull to get your other hand to the next hold. You just barely missed, falling away from the wall. 
“Fuck,” you cursed, swinging back towards the wall and smacking it with your hand. You were lowered down, clearly fuming, and Frido took the opportunity to step in front of you, giving the girl attached to the other end of the rope a look. 
“Again,” you requested, avoiding Frido’s gaze. 
She took your hand in hers, though, inspecting the tear in your skin, shaking her head. “No, that’s enough Solstråle.” 
“Leave me alone, Frido.” You snapped, trying to pull away from her when you felt the rope fall slack. You turned, seeing that the worker had abandoned her harness in favor of going to help someone else, no doubt at Frido’s direction. 
You rolled your eyes, quickly regretting it when the Swede raised an eyebrow at you. Ingrid could be scary sometimes, but she had nothing on Frido. 
“Are they here?” You asked, loosening the harness and stepping out of it with an exasperated sigh. 
“They’re outside. You terrified your sister.” Frido said, pulling you over to a bench and making you sit down, before handing you a bottle of water. 
You looked unimpressed. “I’m 18, I can handle myself in the city for an hour.” 
“She wasn’t worried about that, she was worried you were going to hurt yourself.” Frido said bluntly, sitting down next to you. She ignored how stiff you’d grown and how uncomfortable you seemed, reaching for your hand and looking at it critically. 
“That wasn’t on purpose.” You said defensively, wrenching your hand away once again. “And I told her I wouldn’t do that.” 
“Can you blame her for worrying, Solstråle, really? And maybe you didn’t do that on purpose, but you came here to push yourself instead of dealing with your feelings in a healthy way.” 
You really hated that she was right. Frido was always right. It was simultaneously her worst and best trait.
“Are they mad?” You asked in a small voice, suddenly looking very much your age. Frido stood and held out a hand to help you up.
“Not right now. Just worried. Ingrid’s going to give you a hug and you’re going to let her.” Frido instructed. You supposed that was fair. And really, you could use a hug. Hugs from your sister always made you feel better, even if you’d never admit it. 
As you exited the building, you instantly spotted your sister and her girlfriend by their car. Mapi was leaning calmly against the Cupra, while Ingrid was pacing frantically, speaking fast and gesturing wildly with her hands. 
“Did I do that?” You asked quietly. 
Frido laughed. “I think she was born like that.” 
As you neared the car, Ingrid turned as Mapi pointed at you, her face melting with relief at the sight of you. It really hit you, then, how worried she must have been, to still be so anxious even after Frido had likely told her you were okay. You weren’t making this easy on your sister. 
She practically knocked you over with the force of her hug. “You’re okay.” She murmured into the top of your head, leaving a kiss there. 
“I’m okay.” You reiterated, letting yourself hug her back tightly, even if it was just for a moment. She felt you tighten your arms around her almost unconsciously, and made a note to hug you more often. Even if it seemed like you weren’t very interested. After a minute she pulled back, placing both hands on your cheeks and making you look at her. 
“Next time leave through the front door? And tell me where you’re going? Please?” She asked. You appreciated that she didn’t tell you to do this, leaving it more as a request, although you knew it was a reasonable rule for her to put in place.
“Promise.” You said quietly. She nodded her head, satisfied, before pulling Frido into a hug that also looked to be too tight. Mapi was looking at you, rather unimpressed. You knew she was not happy with you for upsetting your sister so much, and though it annoyed you a bit, you knew it was deserved. And you appreciated that your sister had someone that was so protective over her. 
“In the car, nena. I want to talk to you when we get home.” Mapi instructed. You got in the car with no argument, the fight having gone out of you a bit. It had nothing to do with the hug Ingrid had given you, nothing at all. Definitely not. Instead of anger, you only felt apprehension, because Mapi looked dead serious about whatever she wanted to talk about. 
-------
You were nothing short of shocked when Mapi opened the door to the garage and gestured you inside upon arriving home. Ingrid watched on anxiously, and you pretended not to see the way Mapi whispered some reassurance to her and kissed her cheek, before pointing her towards the kitchen
You’d never been in the garage before; it was Mapi’s space. You were already invading her home, you wouldn’t invade the one place of the house that was really hers, too. You knew she worked something out there, knew there was a reason both cars parked in the driveway instead of in the garage. 
Mapi followed you into the room and sat down on a stool next to the large motorcycle in the middle of the garage. It was clearly in the process of being restored. You hadn’t known Mapi rode motorcycles. Well, you hadn’t known that your sister let Mapi ride a motorcycle. You stood awkwardly in the door as Mapi inspected 2 different wrenches, until she pointed at the stool next to her. 
“Ven aqui, nena.” She said. 
You took a seat, not really enjoying the tense silence that washed over the room. “Are you mad at me?” You asked after a minute. For all your anger, and all your bravado, you didn’t like it when people were mad at you. Especially not people you looked up to, people you admired. 
“No. Not mad, nena. Never mad. I wish you hadn’t snuck out your window, but I understand why you did. I wish sometimes you thought a bit more about how your actions affect me and your sister, but I know how hard that is to do when you’re as angry as you are.” 
“I’m not angry.” You said defensively. Mapi rolled her eyes, handing you a couple of tools and beginning to tighten something on the bike. 
“You are angry. You’re so angry that you feel like you’re going to explode sometimes. You’re so angry that sometimes you forget that you’re sad, too. You’re angry, and you’re hurt, and I cannot blame you for that. If anyone has a right to those emotions, it’s you.” You didn’t really enjoy being perceived so well, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. “I know angry, nena. Do you remember when I hurt my knee?” 
You nodded. The first few weeks of Mapi's injury hadn’t been a fun time, your sister beyond stressed with dealing with Mapi’s injury and her new role in the team, and you’d tried hard to be on your best behavior. 
“I started working on this bike a year ago, when everything happened with the Spanish federation. It was Ingrid’s idea, a way for me to distract myself. When I hurt my knee, it had been a bit since I’d worked on it, but suddenly I was back in this garage until all hours of the night. It’s nice to be able to control something like this, when everything else feels out of your control. That is how climbing is for you, yes?” 
You relaxed a bit at the turn the conversation was taking, and Mapi wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t just the topic; it was the fact that she wasn’t staring at you, putting pressure on you to give her an answer she wanted to hear. You were just talking. Casually. 
“Yeah. I’m in control, and I don’t have to think about anything else. It’s relaxing.” 
“It’s good for you to have an outlet like that.” Mapi stated. “This bike was Ingrid’s idea, when we first got together. Do you know what her other idea was?” 
You were pretty sure you did, and you grimaced at the thought. “Therapy?” 
Mapi snorted, handing you the wrench she was using and taking the screwdriver from your hand. “Yes therapy. You don’t have to look at it like that, though, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”
“It’s not for me.” You said decisively. 
Mapi just shrugged. “I didn’t think it was for me either.” She paused, knowing your curiosity would get the better of you, and you’d ask for more information. 
“What changed your mind?” You asked after a minute. 
“Your sister did. After the euros, I had a hard time coming back to Barça and playing. Those weeks were some of the hardest of my life, trying to find my rhythm again but trying to recover from the stress I’d been under that summer. I was a mess. And Ingrid was right there with me, through all of it. I’d had a really bad day, and I asked Ingrid to come home early from a lunch she had. She came home, calmed me down, and afterwards, she asked me if I trusted her. I said I did. And she said that she really wanted me to try therapy. That I didn’t have to feel how I felt, and I deserved help. I deserved to not be miserable. She asked me to try it, for her, just give it a try.” 
“And you did.” 
“And I did. Because she’d done so much for me, I couldn’t refuse her request. Not when I knew she just wanted the best for me. I gave it a shot, and it helped, more than anything else had helped. It wasn’t a fix all, but it helped. It made me feel like I was doing something to get better.” 
Mapi abandoned her work on the bike, looking at you for the first time since you’d entered the garage. You could only see sincerity in her gaze. Not anger, but annoyance. Just sincerity. “You deserve help, Solstråle. No matter how you feel about yourself, Ingrid and I know you. And we know you deserve help. You’re a good person, and you deserve to be happy.” 
María sounded so sure. So completely convinced. You looked away from her, blinking hard. 
“You don’t have to agree to anything now. Keep an open mind about it. Think about it. Okay?” 
“Okay.” You agreed quietly, grateful that Mapi didn’t make a big deal out of it, only nodding slightly. 
“One more promise?” She asked. 
“What?” 
“Talk to us. Or just me, or just Ingrid. We’re a little lost here, nena. It feels like we were just kind of plopped down in the middle of this. We had no idea anything was going on, not really. And all of a sudden we’re reading that letter, and realizing we missed a lot. That’s on us; we should have noticed sooner. We don’t have the whole picture, though, and that makes it really hard for us to figure out how to help you. We’ll both worry a lot less if you talked to us, just a little bit.” 
That was reasonable, you had to admit. When she put it like that. You’d spent so much time being annoyed that no one had noticed, then being annoyed when they finally did notice, you hadn’t really spent a ton of time thinking about how little they knew. There was no context to your behavior, aside from what you’d put in the letter. And that just barely scratched the surface. You supposed they deserved an explanation. At least a bit of one. 
“I’ll try.” You promised. 
Mapi grinned at you this time, an infectious smile. “Bueno! Come here with that wrench. No, that one. Put it on this bolt. Twist.” 
And just like that, the conversation was over. Easily. You got the feeling that Mapi would have let it go if you’d insisted on it, but you miraculously felt better. Talking, listening had made you feel better. Mapi had made you feel better. 
-------
You both emerged from the garage around an hour and a half later, when the smell of baking cookies became too strong to resist. Ingrid had clearly been stress baking, one of your favorite of her habits. There were at least 3 different types of cookies on the counter, some done baking, some still in progress. It smelled so distinctly of home in the house, it was almost overwhelming. 
“I have something for you,” Ingrid said, drying her hands and stepping away from the counter when you walked into the room. 
“I can see that.” You said, nodding to the cookies appreciatively, but Ingrid shook her head. 
“No, something else.” Ingrid said.
“OH! I do too.” Mapi said excitedly, and they both disappeared in different directions. You stood bewildered in the kitchen, not quite sure what you were about to be given. 
They returned simultaneously, each holding what looked to be 2 frames. “Mapi’s first.” Ingrid directed. “I haven’t seen it yet.” 
You looked surprisingly at Mapi, taking the present and beginning to unwrap the wrapping paper. “What is this for?” You asked. 
“Your birthday.” Ingrid said quietly. You froze momentarily, an unreadable expression flashing across your face. “I know it seems like we forgot, but we didn’t. We got the dates messed up, but we had presents, and we had dinner reservations, just… for the 25th. Not the 15th.” 
“Oh. I thought you’d forgotten.” You said slowly, seemingly slightly emotional. 
“Nope, just bad at remembering dates. Now open your present.” Mapi said impatiently, bouncing on her feet like an overexcited child. 
You unwrapped it slowly, as if you were slightly weary of what it might be. When you pulled the frame from the wrapping paper, though, every wall you’d put up fell instantly, your jaw dropping open at the piece of art in your hands. 
It was a map. Not just a map, but a map of all the hiking trails in Barcelona. It was textured, detailed, labeled. It was intricate, all neutrals and earthy colors. It was so you. From the contents to the design, it was like it had been made just for you. 
“Mapi…” You whispered, staring, stunned, at the map. “Where did you… how did you… what?” 
“Ale’s sister Fresa  went to school with this girl that hand makes maps like this. I got her name from diablillo, and I told her what I wanted. Do you like it, do you like it?” Mapi asked excitedly. 
Mapi got her answer when you handed the frame to Ingrid, and launched yourself the few feet between you and Mapi, wrapping her in a tight hug. Mapi beamed at Ingrid, who was trying very hard not to cry. She hadn’t even given Mapi any advice on the gift. It had been all her girlfriend’s idea, she executed it all by herself, determined to get Solstråle the perfect gift. 
“It’s perfect, thank you María,” you mumbled. The ridiculous smile on Mapi’s lips didn’t falter at the use of her real name, only squeezing you tighter. 
“Te amo, Solstråle.” She said back. For once, you believed it. When you pulled away from the hug, it was to see Mapi looking smugly at your sister. “INGRID I DEFINITELY WON.”
Ingrid rolled her eyes. “She hasn’t even opened my present yet.”
“Still. I won.” Mapi smirked. 
Now it was Ingrid’s turn to hand you your gift. It was wrapped in the same paper, and you tore it off, almost cautiously, not quite sure what Ingrid would have gotten you. 
You were, once again, speechless at what you saw. This time, your eyes filled with tears immediately. Ingrid wasn’t as excited as Mapi had been, instead looking at you anxiously. 
It was a painting of a waterfall back home not far from your house. It was so distinct, you knew Ingrid must have paid a ridiculous amount of money to get someone to hand paint it. Each individual stroke was so precise, blending perfectly into the image it was supposed to be, but if you focused hard, you could pick out the greens and greys and blues and whites that you’d grown up with. 
It felt like home. It felt comforting. You could almost smell the trees, feel the cool sting of wind on your cheeks. It was a little piece of home just for you, and it was perfect. So beautiful and artistic that you weren’t sure you were worthy of it, but you looked at it in awe nonetheless. You wiped at your cheeks, not able to control the tidal wave of emotion washing over you. 
“Kjære? Is it okay?” Ingrid asked anxiously, her eyes searching your face, trying to figure out if these were good tears or bad tears. 
You let out an incredulous laugh. “Okay? Ingrid… it’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s… perfect. Thank you.” You said, turning to her with a look of complete shock. And even though it pained Ingrid that you were so surprised to receive a nice gift for your birthday, she pushed that feeling down. Instead, she pulled you in towards her, placing the frame on the counter so she could hug you properly. You were happy with it, now, and that was all Ingrid had control over. 
After a few seconds, Ingrid moved to pull away and break the hug, but you kept your arms wrapped around her, not quite ready to let go yet. Maybe it was the homesickness, or maybe it was your sister making you feel so known, and so loved. Whatever the reason, you just wanted her near you for a minute more, holding you nice and tight and safe against her. 
“I love you,” she whispered, hearing you mumble the words back, your voice thick with emotion. When you did pull away, a minute later, it was to wipe at your face in an almost embarrassed manner. 
Seeing how desperate you were for the attention to be off your tears, Mapi spoke up, her voice light and easy. “You can put them up in your room, you don’t have anything on the walls.” 
You looked at the ground, then, almost sheepishly. “I didn’t know I could put anything up on them.” You admitted.
The room fell quiet, but even though you could tell that what you said had hurt Ingrid and Mapi, they just shook their heads softly. “It’s your room, for good, you can do whatever you want to it.” Ingrid told you. 
You were about to thank her, and try to move the conversation long when Mapi let out a dramatic gasp. Both you and Ingrid whipped your heads to look at her, confused at the mischievous grin on her face. 
“Ikea. WE CAN GO TO IKEA AND GET FURNITURE FOR SOLSTRÅLE’S ROOM.” 
“María, calm down. Maybe she doesn’t want to redo her room.” Ingrid looked at you hopefully, and you knew it had nothing to do with your room, and everything to do with her not wanting to take Mapi to ikea. 
You simply smirked back at Ingrid, who sighed and shut her eyes for a minute. 
“Okay. Ikea.” She said finally. You and Mapi cheered, comically loudly, completely ignoring the rules she was setting in favor of high fiving each other and going to get ready to leave. “María, you are not building anything. Solstråle does not need her bed to collapse under her in the middle of the night. And kjære, please, please, don’t let Mapi talk you into a loft bed, you’ll fall off of it and break your arm. Amor? Kjære? ARE EITHER OF YOU LISTENING!” Ingrid shouted after you, rolling her eyes at the chants of ikea echoing around the house. 
Mapi in Ikea was a handful. You, too, were a handful at the store. Together? She was going to lose one of you, she was sure of it. It had been a long day already. And it was only set to get longer. 
--------
fluffy engen-león family trying to put furniture together in the next part?
yes, that IS all i have to say about this chapter thank you for your time.
793 notes · View notes
illyrianbitch · 7 days
Text
Pretty Little Shadowsinger
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Pairing: Reader x Azriel
Summary: Based off this request: I want something silly, like there’s just no explanation given. Cassian walks in on reader dressing Az in one of her dresses or something and Cassian is just like 👈🧍‍♂️😳😏😍
Warnings: fluff, just them all being a lil silly, az in a dress, mentions of boobies and swearing
Word Count: 1.3k
a/n: me making "drabbles" over 1k, also not fully edited so squint at any mistakes and pretend they arent there <3
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
“Oh my gods,” you gushed, bringing your hands up to your face. “Look at you. Such a pretty little shadowsinger.”
Azriel tried to maintain his usual stone-faced demeanor, but a faint blush crept onto his cheeks despite his best efforts. He was suppressing back a smile, too. Not because he particularly loved the situation he was in, but because of how giddy you had been for the past hour as you shoved him in many of your countless dresses. The one he wore now was itchy and uncomfortably loose, and he felt a draft that he wasn't accustomed to. But he endured it, solely because of the joy it brought you.
Azriel raised an eyebrow skeptically, his lips twitching with the effort not to smile. “Uh huh.”
"Aw, c'mon," you insisted, stepping closer to him. "It really brings out your figure."
You maneuvered yourself between his wings, wrapping your arms around his torso and guiding him to look at the mirror. Balancing yourself on your tiptoes, you peeked over his shoulder to make eye contact with him. His shadows followed the movement, a dark mass now clustered above his other shoulder as if they, too, were watching in amusement.
He glanced at his reflection with a scrunched face. He’d seen this dress on you multiple times, had complimented you on the beautiful blue of it— one that perfectly matched his siphons. Had even ripped it off after events in an attempt to ravage you as soon as he could— that later fact felt slightly strange now considering he was the one wearing it. The dress in front of him, however, was quite frankly the ugliest thing he’d ever seen. Azriel realized now, more than ever, that the female truly did make the dress. But then again, you were the most gorgeous female in Prythian, so why was he so surprised that you made everything else just as beautiful?
"Should I be concerned I fit into this?"
You let out a small laugh, tightening your hold around his waist.
"You've always had a dainty ballerina waist, babe," you teased, watching as he rolled his eyes playfully in response, a small smile forming at the edges of his mouth.
Azriel turned his head to look down at you over his shoulder. “Thanks.”
"But don't worry.” You gave him another little squeeze. “It doesn't zip up in the back. Your boobs are too big," you added, your hands moving to jokingly squeeze his pecs.
Azriel scoffed lightly and lifted your hands off him, turning around to face you. He struggled for a moment as the fabric of the dress moved around his heavy boots and you bit your lip to suppress your laughter at the movement.
His eyes met yours as he finally faced you, gently holding your hands in his, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. Shadows curled around where your hands met, cool and light. "Alright, those are muscles," he remarked teasingly. "Pecs."
You nodded, scrunching your nose playfully. "Uh-uh.”
"Real big, tough muscles," he continued, emphasizing his point. He leaned in closer to you.
"Boobs," you interjected with a grin. The face Azriel wore, now, could almost be interpreted as one of unamusement had it not been for the glint in his eyes and the subtle upturn of his lips.
He shook his head with a soft laugh. "What am I going to do with you?"
You pretended to contemplate for a moment, looking away in exaggerated thought. "Hmmm… maybe kiss me?"
Azriel’s eyes softened, a dimpled smile appearing on his face. “I can do that.”
He leaned in to press a tender kiss to your lips, the moment melting away in the warmth of his mouth, in the way that your eyes shuttered closed. You let out a hum of delight.
Too caught up in the moment, you both failed to hear the sound of your door opening until it was far too late.
"Hey guys, have you seen—" Cassian's voice trailed off as he stepped inside, taking in the view before him.
It was Azriel who pulled apart first, neck snapping to face his brother at a speed so fast you barely blinked. You, however, opted to slowly turn to look at him, already preparing yourself for the look on his face.
“What-” Cassian paused, face falling into a confused scowl. He rebalanced himself, putting his weight on his other leg. He moved again as he placed his hands on his hips. Then once more, as he pointed towards Azriel with a lazy finger. “Whats, uh, whats going on here?”
“Get out,” was Azriels only reply.
Cassian pursed his lips, eyes narrowing at his brother. His gaze flickered to you for a moment, taking in your tightly pressed lips, clearly containing a laugh, and then he looked back at Azriel.
"Nice dress, loser, but I don't think you have the right amount of cleavage to pull it off.”
A low growl rumbled in Azriel's chest as he rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”
You wondered if the growl was a reaction of embarrassment from your mate or if it was in response to Cassian alluding to your own cleavage. Both answers made you want to laugh.
But Cassian only grinned, a large amused smile— one that said he was just starting his strange, annoying torment. You sighed, mouth falling open into a smile despite your best efforts.
"Cass,” you said, bringing his attention to you. “You can't just barge into my room. What if we were naked? Right in the middle of having sex? Hmm?"
A hint of playful sarcasm laced your words.
Cassian's smirk widened. "Would've been a lot more normal than this," he responded, earning another eye-roll from Azriel and a snort of laughter from you.
"Get out," Azriel ordered again, his tone firm– and exasperated, almost– as he gestured towards the door.
You couldn't help but notice how Azriel's shadows seemed to shift, now positioned strategically at his chest where the fabric of the dress dipped to expose what would normally be your cleavage. You struggled to contain another laugh.
Cassian ignored him, hands gesturing between the two of you.
“So is this like a kink? Or is Azzie just wanting to get some better fashion sense?”
Azriel stared at him with a clenched jaw at the nickname, tossing and tired glance your way. You met your mates gaze with a small shrug and let out a small breath of amusement.
“Okay, c’mon,” you told Cassian, “He just lost a bet, that's all.”
You grimaced the instant the words came from your mouth, watching as Cassian’s eyes lit up. You looked at Azriel, watching as his face fell slightly. Oh no.
“You-” Cassian began to grin wide. “You lost a bet? To Y/n? You lost a bet, and now you're wearing a dress.”
Azriel tilted his head in warning. “Cassian.”
A second passed. And then Cassian was letting out a loud, boisterous laugh, eyes wide and wild. “Oh my gods.”
“Stop it,” Azriel warned.
It didn’t matter. Cassian instantly turned around, his loud voice echoing throughout the halls. “Az lost a bet! Az lost a bet and he’s wearing a dress! Rhys!”
“Cassian!” Azriel moved to chase after him, only to stumble over the excess fabric of the dress, the silk material wrapping awkwardly around his boots. You bursted into laughter, rushing to his side to help him up and bunch up the fabric to prevent any further struggles.
Your mate grumbled under his breath, words cursing the long dress and his brother. With a sheepish smile, Azriel gathered the dress in his hands and bolted down the hallway, cheeks painted in a dusty pink.
You watched him go, still chuckling at the absurdity of it all. As Azriel disappeared around the corner, still yelling a variety of threats at Cassian, his shadows curled around you and your shoulders.
"He kinda works that dress better than I do, huh?" you remarked to them, quietly enough that the words only filled the air near you.
The shadows seemed to ripple in amusement, as if laughing along with you at the scene.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
i added a lil explanation given cause lets be fr... cassian wouldnt bother az about the dress (hed probably wanna try one on too and nesta would be pissed hes ripping all of hers) but az LOSING at something....mans is never letting that go!!!!!
tag lists!
permanent tag list 🫶🏻: @rhysandorian @itsswritten @milswrites @lilah-asteria @georgiadixon
@glam-targaryen @nighttimemoonlover
azriel tag list🫶🏻: @thisiskaylin
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cordeliawhohung · 28 days
Note
Core, what about a bit of competition with ps! Gaz? Some new girl who think's she's already the darling of the studio takes a liking to Gaz, but finds out about his ties with reader.
The one time she gets to film with Gaz, she overplays her role and absolutely covers his neck, collar, shoulder, everything with hickeys, hoping it will deter the reader.
So imagine her shock when the next day, she pops into his dressing room and finds the reader in there as well, applying foundation over the marks and littered with dozens from Gaz himself. ❤️
(I realize how dumb this sounds as an ask but it's been rotting my brain for days and I desperately need it gone so I can focus on my college classes 😭)
thanks this has also been rotting my brain because i just love putting people in their place (: more ps!gaz here <3
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The crux of your ass sits in perfect place on Kyle's thighs while your legs straddle the expanse of his hips. Warm hands rest on your waist as you manhandle his jaw, tilting his head side to side to get better access to his neck. Thick, round hickeys litter the delicate skin around his throat and down to his shoulders in angry, red pinpoint marks that break the beautiful and even tone of his skin with something revolting. They look like proper bruises rather than the after effects of a... wild video shoot. As if someone had tried to strangle him rather than make love to him.
You remember the video well, along with that new model with her fake blonde hair and even faker tan that they had paired Kyle with to shoot the other day. You had only seen her in person one time, and you vividly recall the way her blue eyes rolled over your body, assessing every inch of you before ultimately deciding you were worth very little time. Confidence was a must when you worked in the porn industry, but her attitude borders on an arrogance you haven't seen since your teenage years in public school.
As you apply yellow color corrector onto the dark marks on his skin, you nearly shiver as the images of her stained lips suckling on Kyle's neck flood your mind. There was little room to feel jealousy about her ravaging your favorite co-star when you were too busy cringing. So childish. Over zealous. You nearly cried tears of laughter when you noticed Kyle's expression, grimacing at the wet tongue and annoying teeth that nipped at him, yet still having to pretend to enjoy it. Even the comments on the video joked about it.
Put him back with the other model.
"If I didn't know any better, I would have thought someone tried to strangle you," you tease.
"She might as well have," Kyle sighs. He adjusts his shoulders against the back of the chair, bare pecs flexing with the movement, bringing your attention to the uncovered marks that line his collarbone. "Haven't been able to go out in public without a goddamn turtleneck 'cause of her."
You chuckle as you finish applying and buffing out the rest of the color corrector along his skin. It leaves him looking sickly and discolored, which oddly enough is an improvement to what it looked like before. Setting the corrector to the side, you grab foundation next, hips swaying as you attempt to get some movement in your aching knees. Holding that position for so long without moving had them burning with fatigue.
"Need a break, doll?" Kyle prompts, hands sliding from your waist to your thighs.
"Don't know if we have time for a break. Got a lot of ground to cover before we start," you humor.
Kyle sits forward, throwing you off balance, yet he doesn't let you sway very far before his arms wrap around you, hands supporting your back. Adoring eyes crease as a grin floods his face. Even without the aid of studio lights he glows like a god as he leans closer and places a kiss on your neck.
"Show can't start without us," he says, teeth grazing your skin as he wanders down to your collarbone. "Could always give you a few hickeys to match, if you want."
He doesn't wait for you to answer before his tongue glides across your clavicles just for his teeth to follow right after. A chuckle rumbles in his chest at the tightening of your legs around his hips, and his hands only pull you closer. It doesn't take much for you to give in. Head rolling back, muscles melting as his lips conquer everything you're willing to give him. It's a delicate softness mixed with a brutal bite, something that leaves you gasping as he pulls the very air from your lungs and feeds on the sounds.
Kyle is more starved for you than usual. Sick of the fake, over dramatic screeching he got last week with that other model, he's hungry for the real thing. Hungry for you.
The unopened foundation falls free from your loose fingers and rolls along the floor into some forgotten corner when his hands wander underneath your shirt. It's a dance he has memorized; unclasping your bra without a second thought and tearing both it and your shirt off in a single, swift motion. He gives you little time to recover before his mouth is on your tits, kissing a sparse trail until he's rolling a perky nipple between his lips.
His bare skin feels like heaven underneath the palm of your hands as you grip his shoulders for stability. He'd take you on the cold, dressing room floors, you knew he would. A part of you wanted him to. Fuck the shoot, they should've learned well enough to put cameras in the dressing rooms by that point with how handsy Kyle Garrick always was with you.
"Can't wait until we get on set to try and undo me?" you ask breathlessly.
"Doll, I'll undo you right here and then again on set if you asked me to," he mumbles into your skin.
A quiet squeak interrupts your moment and the ambiance of the room shifts when the door to Kyle's dressing room opens. His hands grow stiff against your spine as you look over your shoulder at the figure in the doorway. You smell her perfume before you recognize her. Something drowning and floral, like a mall department store. It burns your nose, yet you're too distracted by the slack-mouth surprise etched onto the features of the new blood's face.
It's cute; her confusion. How her eyes flicker over your bare back and Kyle's hands pressed against your skin like he's cradling the only thing he cares for in the world. The dots just can't quite connect in her mind as to why he hasn't completely fallen for her yet, as if the only way she knows how to lure men is by butchering their neck with discolored marks. She can't comprehend why he'd rather have you in his lap than her.
Kyle draws a shocked groan from you when his teeth nip at your shoulder, and your eyes have no choice but to fall away from the woman in the doorway as he pulls you closer to him. His chin gently rests on your shoulder as he stares at the model, hands moving to rest on your hips.
"Need somethin?" he asks, bored.
There is very little you wouldn't have given to see the look on her face, but the small huff followed by the door slamming shut is good enough. Small giggles rattle your body as you lean back to get a better look at Kyle, as if your body would throw a fit if he wasn't within your sight. There's an inexplicable relief that floods his face as he looks up at you, and he mirrors your smile.
"What?" he defends. "Only asked her if she needed somethin."
"I think you broke her heart," you patronize.
"She'll live," he mumbles, lips falling against the crook of your neck again. "Your heart is the only one I care about, anyway."
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skzdarlings · 3 months
Text
i do ; skz ; felix x reader
requested by anonymous: ' I would love if you could use these prompts...on Felix x fem reader:❛ i love that no one else has seen you like this, that no one else has felt you before, been inside you. they don't get to have you, but i do. ❜❛ you're mine. you've always been mine. ❜I love possessive Felix, istg i would give amything to have him' plus two anonymous requests for: 'i'd say you need someone to put you in your place' for felix.
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pairing: lee felix/reader content info: look this request was for possessive!felix and so possessive!felix i delivered. he is a little weirdo in this tbh. but i think after all my anti-rich-guy stories, i have earned the right for one problematic possessive mafia boss who throws his money and his dick around hahaha. so yes, possessive!felix, virgin!reader, wedding night, arranged marriage, felix being a criminal boss, insta-love. reader's backstory involves a verbally abusive/neglectful family. explicit sexual content. word count: 4000 words.
masterlist. part of the valentine’s day stories series. credit to prompts. requests are closed.
enjoy <3
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Your new husband is astoundingly pretty.   You expected a different face to be waiting at the end of the wedding aisle: harsh, old, scarred.  Maybe, if you let yourself fantasize, he would be handsome in a rugged way. 
You were not expecting Felix.  Slender, delicate Felix with his high cheekbones and freckles, his dark eyes and feather-soft blonde hair.  He smiled a dimpled smile as your father surrendered your hand. 
That surrender was a visual representation of a literal transaction.  You were a bartering tool to save your father’s business.  You knew an arranged marriage was inevitable when a few trades went sour and the company went bankrupt.  The family could only maintain relevancy and safety through a match to someone more powerful. 
Lee Felix is the heir to a very dirty criminal syndicate that blends in high society.  Everyone knows their money is blood-spattered, but they throw a good party and the jewels sparkle the same.
You knew his name long before the wedding.  Of course you knew his name.  But you did not know his face.  You expected a devil, not a vision of divinity, resplendent in white and gold. 
Your heart has not stopped racing since he first lifted your veil and kissed you with lips softer and gentler than your grandest fantasies. 
Now you are perched on a lavish bed in a beautiful penthouse suite.  The walls are windows, externally tinted but offering you a glorious view of the glittering cityscape at night.  You wonder how much of the city your new husband owns. 
Would that be an impertinent question?  It is not as though there is any real charade to play; this is not a love match and there is no sense pretending otherwise.  Enquiring after financial assets is arguably appropriate insofar as business goes. 
Then the door opens and your new husband enters.  All thoughts of business flitter into nothing, an insignificant detail next to your wedding night.  A night with this powerful and beautiful stranger.
“Are you nervous?” he asks in a voice so deep it keeps surprising you.  It suits his angelic appearance in a way, something so captivating about its low tones, effortlessly melodic.  But that melody is coloured darkly in its depth, scratching a shiver up your spine.  When he speaks, it feels like he is trailing his fingers up your back in a curious, searching touch. 
He looks at you with as much depth, dark eyes penetrating as he circles the bed.  He has been nothing but polite, but you can’t help but feel like prey being circled by a predator. 
Even more concerning, you can’t help but like it.  Since the moment he took your hand, his eyes have not left you.  It is almost overwhelming.  You have been invisible your whole life.  No one ever looked at you.  No one ever wanted you.  Your father scared off anyone who tried. 
Felix is not just anyone.  Anyone sensible would be scared of him.
You are also not just anyone. 
“No,” you answer.
“Really?”  He lifts a curious eyebrow. 
You are both in your wedding clothes, all white and gold.  Your veil is draped over a chair in the corner.  He puts his coat there too. 
He never looks away from you, rolling his shirtsleeves up his forearms as he approaches the bed.
“May I ask, why not?” he asks.  It’s a funny question, so polite but only posed because he knows his own reputation.  He knows what you must think of him.  The bloodshed, the ruthlessness, the merciless command he holds over his family’s legacy.  He might look unassuming, but he is not to be trifled with.  That gentle exterior could be unnerving to some people, even more than an outward brute. 
But you have dealt with those brutes your whole life.  An abusive father, cruel brother, an uncaring mother.  Hurt, neglected, ignored. 
Tonight, while you circled the reception to greet everyone, your father and brother pulled you aside.  Your mother had already berated you on the details of your appearance, but they were reprimanding you for every other misstep.
You almost burst into tears, tired and frightened.  You were so afraid you would never escape them.  Even at your wedding, on the cusp of a new life, they were dragging you around, kicking and screaming.
Then you felt a tap on your shoulder.  Bang Chan, one of Felix’s most trusted agents, stood there with a forced but cordial smile.  He looked at you and not your family. 
“Sorry to interrupt,” he said.  “Your husband is asking for you.  Please, come with me.”
Your father sputtered indignantly, unaccustomed to such blatant disrespect for his authority.  Chan said nothing to him, simply offered you his arm.  He also opened his jacket to flash the gun in his chest holster.  Your family had their weapons stripped before entering the reception.  It was a subtle reminder of who was really in charge. 
So your father and brother were left sputtering helplessly as Chan escorted you across the room.  Felix was sitting with some of his men, smiling his bright smile and looking like any happy young groom. 
That sunny face faltered when he saw your morose expression.  His glance passed to your family, a flicker of anger in his gaze.  Then he smiled at you and held out a welcoming arm. 
“Come here,” he said.  “Sit with me a bit.  Please.” That deep voice.  You felt it like a touch inside you. He had recited the scripted vows earlier.  This invitation was his first real address. 
You nodded.  Your legs were shaky from the confrontation, never mind the wobble from your heels.  Your feet hurt.  Sitting would be a relief if nothing else. 
There was an empty seat behind Felix.  It was the type of seat you were usually given: at the back where you could be forgotten. 
Once you were within reach, Felix grabbed you around the waist.  Your breath caught as you stumbled towards him.  He caught you and held you.  Then you were sitting in his lap, your dress draped everywhere, a glittering ivory prize perched safe and pretty on his knee.  He wrapped a possessive arm around your middle. 
It was more than a power play.  It was one thing to put you on his lap and show your family that he owned you now, but it was another for him to frown as he touched the painfully tight pearl belt around your waist. 
“Why is this so tight?” he asked, looking at you with concern.     
“I’m sorry,” you said automatically, in the habit of grovelling whenever someone took a disappointed tone.  “My mother,” you spoke softly, not wanting the rest of the table to hear. 
He leaned closer to you, offering you his ear directly.  A whisper was all you managed, unaccustomed to such attention.
“They’re real pearls,” you whispered.  “Very expensive.  Very fine.  Too fine for me.  My mother had the belt made small so I would remember to act worthy of them.  Sit straight.  Not over-eat.  You know.”
He frowned, his brow furrowing.  Instinct compelled you to soothe that displeasure, laughing like you were not upset.
“It’s all right,” you said.  “She’s right.  They are very fine pearls.”
“It’s not all right,” Felix said.  He looked at you, held your gaze in his own.  You found yourself counting his freckles.  “Do you like it?” he asked. 
Maybe it was his display of power.  Maybe it was his arm around you.  Maybe it was the freckles.  He looked so sweet, so sincere.  You could not bring yourself to lie.  Though you had defended your cruel family all your life, the truth fell from your lips in a rough exhale. 
“No.”  You felt tears in your eyes.  “I know it’s expensive.  I know it’s beautiful.  But I’ve never hated anything more.” 
He held your gaze, your watery eyes in the dark depths of his own.
Then he grabbed the belt by a thin material strand and yanked.  A couple pearls popped right off and scattered.  The rest dangled on the belt, an absurd amount of wealth in his hand. 
Felix tossed it over his shoulder like it was garbage. Then he wrapped his arm around your waist and held you against him. 
You chanced a look at your family.  They were scandalized.  Horrified.  And you breathed easier for the first time in a long time. You have long suffered the oppressive strangle of control masquerading as love.  His protective arm felt nothing like that pearl belt.
So you look at him now.  You strive to articulate all these feelings.  You are not used to speaking and having someone listen. 
“I can’t explain it,” you say.  “Maybe it’s foolish.  But I… I just feel like I was meant to be here.  With you.  Like this.”
Your heart jumps at his expression, a luminous pleasure that brightens this dimly lit room. 
“That’s funny,” he says.  “I feel the same way.”
You swallow as he sits beside you.  Slowly, touch by touch, breath by breath, he is bringing your bodies together.  His knee touches yours, his arm your arm.  He folds his hands in his lap but he is close enough you can count his freckles again. 
“I need to be honest with you,” he says.  “I’ve wanted you since I first saw you.  A year ago.  At the winter masquerade.”
You look at him with surprise.  All at once, his eyes come back to you, gazing at you behind a golden bird mask at the annual winter social.  You couldn’t place the handsome stranger at the time.  His hair was dark then, his face in a mask.  He did not speak.  His distinctive voice would have given him away. 
He danced one dance with you, the only person who danced with you all night.  You were later reprimanded for behaving like a slut, even though he touched your waist and nothing more.
“You were very kind,” he says.  “I watched you with the staff.  You were the only one in that whole room to say please and thank you to them – did you know that?”  He sighs and looks away, thoughts travelling beyond this room.  “I came from nothing,” he says.  “My family… we fought to get where we are now.  But I remember, you know.  What it feels like to be the smallest and least important person in the room.”
You sit straighter when he looks at you.  Oh, your heart has not slowed its thunder.  Excitement and affection swirl together in a motley tempest of sensation, touched by his words and yearning for more.  You thought you had been sold to an uncaring bidder, but Felix touches you slowly, like he would a very fine work of art.  His knuckles caress your cheek, the slope of your jaw. 
“I thought…” He looks at you reverently.  “I thought… I would do anything to preserve that goodness.  I would protect it.  Like your family wasn’t.”  His brow furrows now, a shadow of his face.  “They would have ruined you.” 
His hand continues, knuckles skimming down your throat, your shoulder, your arm.  You shiver.   He has a terrible scar, scoring the whole back of his hand.  A stark difference to your unblemished hand, your manicured nails against his calloused fingers. 
He says, “I know what it’s like to be ruined.”
You look from your hands to his face, his handsome profile, the slope of his nose and his soft lips.  He is still looking at your joined hands. 
“I wasn’t always like this,” he says.  “I’d give anything to have my innocence back.  But I can’t.”
He lifts your hand, cradles it between both of his like something precious.  Your breath catches when he kisses your palm, lips soft against your skin.  
“So I told myself, I would do anything to save yours,” he says.  He looks almost… afraid.  An expression you never expected to see on this man.   “So I destroyed your father’s business,” he says.  “It was all me.  I knew he would never give you to a man like me unless he had no choice.  He would have given you away to one of his friends and they would have broken you.  But you were already mine.  So I left him no choice but to see things my way.” 
“Oh,” you say, surprised beyond all words. 
“I wanted you to know before anything… happens… between us,” he says.  “But I understand if your feeling are complicated.  Or if you… fear me.”
Your father has often boasted how many men fear him.  It does not sound like a boast from Felix, rather something lamentable.  His face is shadowed in shame. 
“My feelings are not complicated,” you say.  He is still holding your hand in both of his.  You lay your other hand there, a complete joining. 
He meets your gaze, an intense and imploring stare.
“I’m not my father’s daughter anymore,” you say.  “I’m my husband’s wife.  My loyalty is to you.  My place is with you.”
“Yes,” he says, spoken on a breath.  His smile returns.  “Your place.  I’d say you need someone to put you in your place.  Your rightful place.” 
He springs off the bed like there is lightning under his feet.  He is all smiles and sunlight again, a beacon in the blue dark of this room.  You cannot help but bask in his warmth, bereft in the chill when he leaves your side. 
He takes something from his discarded coat pocket, a case swathed in velvet, soft to the touch.  You hold it, admiring the texture.
He kneels behind you on the bed while you open it.   Inside is the most breathtaking necklace you have ever seen in your life.  When you lift it, the chain is long, designed to sit low, loose around your neck.  No more chokers.  No more pearls. 
“Oh, Felix,” you say, breathless and amazed, then very embarrassed.  You are not used to such lovely gifts.  Even the pearls were a punishment.  “I can’t accept this…” you say, stunned.
“You can,” he says. 
He takes the clasp then strings the necklace around you.  His fingers on the nape of your neck have you shivering.  The necklace clasps in place, then his lips are on your neck, a chaste press that nonetheless lights fire under your skin.  “It was made for you,” he says.  “Like you were made for me.” 
He takes the zipper of your gown between two careful fingers, so slowly lowering it.  It feels like you are unravelling with it.  The zipper reaches the base of your spine and his fingertips dance across your bare skin. 
He steps off the bed.  He looks down at you, his eyes intense but his smile soft.  He touches your cheek, strokes his thumb across it lovingly. 
Then he is sinking to his knees in front of you.  You already feel weak as jelly, but your whole body goes soft and pliant when he gently grasps your ankle, when he slides your painful shoe off your foot and tosses it aside.  He somehow finds every sore spot and rubs it better. 
“This is how it works,” he says.  He is on his knees but somehow his presence looms bigger than you.  You cannot look away from the thrall of his gaze.  “You are my wife.  And when we are out there, I am your servant.”  He takes your other foot and removes that shoe as well.  He massages you gently.  “I will never deny you anything,” he says.  “You can ask me for anything. All right?  I will give you the whole world.  I will give you my whole heart.  In return, I only want one thing.”
“What’s that?” you ask, already breathless.
“I am your husband,” he says, “and in here, you are my servant.  Only I can touch you.  Only I will have you.  All of you.  In every way.  Always, starting from today.  Starting from right now.”    
“Yes.  Yes.  But I – I’ve never done this before,” you say, aching to surrender but fearful he will regret this.  Though you are knowledgeable, you are lacking in experience from years of isolation.  “I’ve been alone for so long,” you say.  “I don’t want to disappoint you.” 
“You don’t,” he says.  He lifts your leg, swoops down to kiss your calf, then higher: your knee, your thigh.  “You could never,” he says, guiding your leg to rest on his shoulder.  He gathers the volume of your wedding dress in his hands and pushes it up, up. 
You almost forget to breathe.  He kisses higher on your thigh.  Then he grabs the thin material of your white tights and rips them open.
“You’re mine,” he says.  “You’ve always been mine.” 
You fall back on your elbows, limbs already quivering as he tears through your underclothes as if impatiently ripping open a prettily wrapped gift.   With your expensive lace panties shredded and your tights in tatters, he pushes your skirts up and out of his way.  You hold them while he kisses up your thigh.  He runs his tongue along the seam between your thigh and somewhere much more sensitive. 
“No one else has done this to you?” he asks.  He already looks flushed.  Desperate.      
“No,” you answer.  You swallow hard.  “Never.”  You know some men do not enjoy providing this type of pleasure to their wives, so you are about to tell him that you have no expectations in that regard—
But then he is on you like a starving man, eyes closed and mouth open and licking through all that wet desire.  You fall on your back, pressing your heel into his back.  He groans, pressing deeper, tongue seeking, swiping, stroking. 
He grips your thighs possessively, holding you in place as he ravages you with his mouth.  He takes you up and over a blissful crest.  It leaves you a drenched and panting mess. 
He stands, wiping his arm across his wet mouth.  He does not look satisfied, eyes still hungry as he climbs on top of you. 
“My wife,” he says, like the word is sacred and impossible, like he thought a man like him could never say it.  “All mine,” he says, running his hands up your thighs, up your waist, touching every inch of you until he is cradling your face delicately in his careful but calloused hands.   
It makes your whole body clench up tightly, your breath stuttering as he kisses you.  You melt into the kiss, so different from the chaste peck of your ceremony.  It is a claiming kiss, the taste of you still on his lips, his moan in your mouth, his chest against yours as those sounds of pleasure rumble through him. 
He tugs down your bodice, then he is ripping through your underclothes again.   When your bodice is around your waist and your chest is bare except for his necklace, you find yourself covering your breasts instinctively.  He takes your hands, not forcefully but firmly, holding your gaze.  His mouth is already so pink and raw from kissing.  You wonder if you look as ravished.  Maybe more.  It makes you whimper, surrendering when he pins your hands on either side of your head. 
“This is mine,” he says, kissing your jaw, your throat, then lower.  “All mine, sweetheart.”
He wraps his lips around a pointed nipple and you feel the reaction between your legs, as if connected by a thread.  Your legs try to close around his hips but he presses down.  The crumpled skirt of your dress is between you, but he feels your thighs clenching, feels you desperately bucking. 
Even his chuckle is a deep sound.  He smiles at you, batting his eyelashes as he licks the curve of your breast.  Your whole body twitches again. 
“Mm,” he says.  “You feel that?  You getting all tight… and hot… just for me…”
“Felix,” you say, you beg.
He sits back on his heels to get your wedding dress off.  It is a flurry of ivory and silk, earning some laughter, then it is gone and your husband is staring down at you.   Again, you feel like prey, like a meal spread out helplessly for some predatory creature.  Again, you like it. 
He is just as impatient with his own clothes.  He does not look away from you while tearing his shirt open.  Buttons fly, forgotten, and he rips the material down his arms and off.  His belt is next, leather whistling through the air then joining the heap on the floor.  He grabs your hand and guides it to the hard shape in his white pants, groaning deep in his chest as your palm curves around it. 
You are so captivated him, by the way he feels, by the sounds he makes, that you are surprised when he touches you too.  Your legs part instinctively, then your thighs twitch to close when you are embarrassed by your eagerness. 
“Don’t be shy,” he says.  “Not with me.” His fingers feel divine inside you, gliding as if through silk, pressing at your walls and making you whimper.  “Yeah, my baby.  So nice… ‘n wet… for me…” he murmurs, more to himself than you. It still makes you clench, like your body wants him deeper, pulling tight around him.   “God.  Perfect.” 
“Aren’t we g-gonna—”  Your eyes drop to his waistband, then up to his eyes again. 
He smiles, laughs, and withdraws his fingers slowly. 
“Oh yeah, sweetheart,” he says, unbuttoning his pants.  “We are.  Be patient.  You’re gonna enjoy this.  Gonna remember this night forever.”  He leans down so his body is over yours.  He kisses you, presses you into the pillows.  When he pulls back, he traces a finger along the necklace, smiling brightly. “The first time I made you mine,” he says, speaking low and soft against your lips.   “I’m going to do everything with you,” he says.  “And you’re gonna want it.  All of it and more.” 
He has you begging for more already.  When he finally is pushing inside you, after so much torturous build-up, you are a breathless, sweaty tangle of limbs.  It feels like he is pinning you to the mattress, taking you so deep and so hard, like your whole body is changing to fit him.   There is a long, slow burn, but you are so wet and he is so careful; it is an ache that gives way to pleasure. 
His arms are around you, holding him above you, making you feel so completely shielded and enveloped.  He starts a slow pace that turns more frantic.  Your hands move all over his chest and shoulders to find a grip. 
“I love that no one else has seen you like this,” he says, grabbing your searching hand.  He brings it to his mouth, kisses your palm, your fingers.  He puts your hand on his shoulder, then he slides his hand under your head to cup your neck, holding you steady while he rolls his hips into yours.  “That no one else has felt you before,” he says.  “Been inside you. They don't get to have you, but I do.“
“Yes,” you say.  “Always.  My husband.” 
“Mm.”  He drops his forehead to yours.  “My wife.” 
You come again but it feels different, starting deep inside you and rolling outward, a full-body spasm that has you crying out his name.  He comes too, holding you against him, his lips on your neck as he says your name. 
Then he kisses you.  Then he lays you down.  He wraps you in his arms and squeezes. 
“Sleep for now,” he says.  “It’s been a long day.  And I want you again.”
“You have me,” you say, nestling in his arms, your head under his chin. 
“Yes,” he says with a smile.  He looks so sweet even while his wicked hands hold your body in a strong, possessive grip.  “I do.”      
1K notes · View notes
itneverendshere · 2 months
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you were all i wanted but not like this - rafe cameron
pairing: rafe cameron x reader (fem!reader)
WARNINGS: angst <3; just angst.
watched mamma mia and remembered how sam pissed me off when he left donna lmao; self indulgent honestly (haven't written in like a month so decided to get back into it with a smaller piece); hope you enjoy!
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you should’ve known better.
the weight of realization presses upon you like an anvil on your chest, each breath drawn heavy with the gravity of the situation. 
sleeping with a guy on the same day you met him? risky.
proceeding to spend the next three months with him? delusional.
falling for him while simultaneously knowing nothing about his life back home? stupid.
the sting of embarrassment gnaws at you and it feels like you're rotting inside.
you want to scream, to rage against the unfairness of it all, make a fucking scene out of it. of all people roaming the earth…rafe had to be the one your cousin was dating.
rafe, as in your summer romance rafe, your rafe. 
oh my god!
he didn’t even tell you his surname, didn’t tell you shit and yet, just weeks ago, you were ready to move halfway across the world in hope of finding him again. 
you should've seen the warning signs flashing in neon bright before you. the damage is done, the wounds self-inflicted.
rafe's eyes widen imperceptibly as the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, fitting together with a sickening clarity, a flicker of recognition crossing his features before he quickly masks it with a practiced smile. 
but you see it, that moment of realization, and it only fuels the fire of anger burning within you.
"so, rafe cameron," you say, each word laced with a bitter edge that you can’t quite suppress, "so nice to meet you."
his million-dollar smile falters ever so slightly, a faint tremor betraying the cool exterior he tries so desperately to maintain.
“pleasure's all mine.”
yeah sure it fucking is.
you don’t utter another word to him. as you navigate through the party, each step feels heavier than the last, burdened by the weight of your self-recrimination. the pulsating beat of the music throbs in your temples, matching the rhythm of your racing thoughts. you move through the crowd with mechanical precision, engaging in polite conversation. you plaster on a fake smile and pretend like everything is fine.
what the fuck? how did you let yourself get in this situation in the first place? it’s a new kind of low, even for you. and why is the cameron household so confusing to walk around?
you can barely see straight with the headache taking place in your mind, the bright lights only wanting to make you burst into tears now and then. 
“let me explain.”
rafe comes out of nowhere, ambushing you before you can get to the door.
a groan slips past your lips, “go fuck yourself.”
“let me,” rafe pleads, his tone tinged with desperation, eyes roaming your face for so long.
a bitter laugh bubbles up from deep within you, incredulous at the audacity of his request, “you think i wanna hear anything you have to say?”
he sighs, closing his eyes, “'meant every thing i said back in skopelos, okay? i didn’t lie.”
“you didn’t tell me shit,” your voice strains to keep calm, “not about you, not about your family, not about a fucking girlfriend, you said nothing. a summer flling, yeah i get it, i can get past that. but making me the other woman? are you serious?!”
you had allowed yourself to be swept away by his charm, by the promise of something more. 
“there was no girlfriend!” he says, but you don’t believe him, squinting up at him with a frown.
“right,” your voice is monotonous, “you got back, what? three weeks ago and magically got one.”
“we weren't together, broke up with her, i swear— n'then you left, i thought i was never gonna see you again."
are you that easily replaceable?
if he cares so much why didn't he look for you? why didn't he break his stupid rules and ask for you number like a normal human being?
“oh go eat a cock.”
you turn on your heels, ready to put an end the conversation and to never see him again. you can feel your nails starting to break the skin on your palm and the subtle taste of copper on your tongue.
“hey—hey, hey, baby wai—“ 
as soon as his hand touches your arm, you’re pushing him away as hard as you can, tears gathering in the corner of your eyes, “don’t you dare. touching me is a privilege you do not have.”
the pain of betrayal, the humiliation of being used and discarded. you feel so stupid. tears cascade down your cheeks like raindrops on a windowpane, the weight of your emotions threatening to engulf you.
“please don’t cry,” rafe begs, fingers itching to hold you, “baby—“
“stop!” your voice cracks with anguish as you choke back a sob, wrapping your arms around yourself, seeking solace in the warmth of your own embrace, “just stop.”
“i don’t have a choice here,” his voice comes out all rough, as he tries not to cave in and cry, “you think i want to be with her when i could be with you? you—jesus, d-do you not understand how hard is it—“
“don’t finish that sentence,” the anger in your voice cuts through the air like a knife, your words dripping with bitterness and hurt, “it’s hard for you? you?!” 
rafe opens his mouth to answer, but he finds it hard to pass the thick lump in throat, “i didn’t mean it like that.”
“you never do.”
his gaze falls to the ground, unable to meet your accusing eyes. he knows he messed up, knows he's hurt you deeply. can’t even find it in himself to explain, tell you how it’s all his father’s fault, that he only got back with her because ward told him to.
how pathetic would that sound? 
‘'m sorry," he whispers, his voice barely audible over the din of the party, “’m so fucking sorry.”
but his apology feels hollow, empty, like a bandage over a gaping wound. the damage has been done, irreparable and raw. you shake your head, unable to find it in yourself to forgive him, 
“too late."
494 notes · View notes
popponn · 3 months
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boyfriend hcs | isagi yoichi.
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notes: im done pretending to be sane. "things and hcs about isagi yoichi" post because world hard and cold isagi yoichi soft and warm. this time, really mean it when saying no brain just isagi big love. please don't look at this too closely, other than that: no warning.
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the "natural rizz" type who is honestly not really good at being purposefully suave. if he tries, it will either go boyfailure route or cute babygirl route. if he doesn't, it's a full package bf who will get your whole family & friends' approval.
at first, he tries really hard, but the moment you get him to calm down and kick the nervousness away, you will get: casual affection, unconditional support, a cuddly & clingy bf on weekends, etc.
looks at matching keychains once and the metavision is telling him it will be cute if you two have that.
he seems like the type who is not obvious when he is in love. at first. the moment his friends accidentally stumble upon your dates and see his smile, his smile is fooling no one.
somehow could make the most mundane unromantic activity cute as long he does it with you. accidentally. somehow.
when he starts dating you, his clothes will reflect your taste because: 1) he will shop for those clothes with you and ask for your opinion; 2) if you are a sane human with a bare minimum level of taste you should know his fashion sense level is in minus already—please do a favor to mankind and get him away from that neon orange trousers and bright green jumper; 3) he just wants to see you happy; 4) despite his humble look and usual demeanor, he likes showing off that he has you and you have him.
doesn't mean he can pick your clothes. do yourself a favor and think thrice or ten times if he suggests clothing or god forbid a mix match. love makes people dumb but it has to have a limit. your man is not trustworthy in the style department.
getting his parents' approval should be the least of your worries. his blue lock fellows and noel fucking noa should be your concern. good luck, high chance you have to verbally fight people like michael kaiser and barou shohei.
your phone is guaranteed to have at least 5 country clocks in it because yoichi is an international sensation. and when he is not busy practicing, you barely leave his mind at all.
it ranges from "oh, they will like this as a gift" to longingly gazing at his phone because while he is an understanding & secure attachment-style boyfriend, it doesn't mean he can bear with you not contacting him for three days. call your man. text him.
his favorite songs will be that cm song and whatever you often listen to around him—"it just sticks". his favorite movie will be totoro and your favorite movie. attachment and fond memories are the main driving force for his favorite stuff.
is pretty independent and self-sufficient that is not clingy most of the time. unless when he is sleepy. he hugs his pillow when he sleeps, now that he has you get ready.
if your main love language are acts of service and words of affirmation, it will be an instant match. "i do this for you, you do this for me" without any talking needs to be done, just like second nature. and he likes to be praised.
in case of quality time and physical touch, it will take some time to get used to, most probably. while he clearly enjoys time with his closest ones, isagi also enjoys his alone time and thinking time too. and he used to be a shy boy who doesn't share touches with people much. but believe in his adaptability, as long as the parties involved are willing to figure this out it will get figured out.
made a whole post about this once like a besotted fool, but is a really good listener who likes listening to you. it's like you "giving him a piece of you"—especially if it is a part of you that you don't share much.
please do listen and try to figure him out though. moving on soon and focusing on the present's solution is good but in some cases, it really might lead to what people call "pent-up emotions". isagi doesn't enjoy looking or being "weak", but really understanding the emotions he doesn't say out loud will benefit both of you in the long run.
keep the balance in everything—because isagi as understanding and adaptable as he is, still sometimes has a lapse in judgment.
before this gets into angst territory let's stop here. moving on.
is canonly described as poetic in one of exhib dialogues—which means this man is scientifically proven to be cheesy as hell.
sheepish, boyish, cute, sometimes nervous, very boy next door yes. but when he is in the moment, aka the romance flow is kicking, get ready for the most heartfelt, the most sincere profession of love under the sunset. an "i'm glad you are in my life", an "i will happily choose you again", etc.
learn to kick a soccer ball if you can't. 1) good for self-defense; 2) he sometimes brings the ball to sleep and if you don't want it, really think of it as self-defense. (not kidding, check his PWC sprite and that one sleeping anime official art merch)
at first gets bashful at pet names, but if someone makes fun of him—especially during a match—that's just asking for it.
remember his habit of being unable to say "no"? In a very loving manner, it comes back in full force with you. he will spoil the hell out of you even when you don't ask him to. what you want, isagi will get.
you have to be his #1 supporter. because he is yours. sometimes he can give advice and help for you, sometimes he can't. but if anything, he will always be there.
has a soft spot for you smiling while hugging something. in other words, while his gallery is full of your photo with plushies, animals, etc—the number of mirror selfies with the two of you hugging each other is enough to make anyone blink in astonishment.
if someone badmouths you or tries to harrass you, oresagi aka on field persona comes out without any hesitation. and while isagi's appearance doesn't come in the most intimidating form—we have seen him. hold him back, please.
even after everything, is honestly a pretty simple guy who thinks a simple breakfast with you worth much more than expensive dinners. home dates with him is always the coziest thing on earth, no matter whether under a sunny sky or rainy clouds.
when he is dedicated to you, he is dedication itself. certainly still have to do pr and fanservice when he meets some fans in the street, but before he leaves he will always squeeze your hand like asking for permission and he always does it with such efficiency that some of his friends wonder if he is trained to return as quickly as possible to your side. (yeah. isagi values efficiency and like how he wants a goal, he wants to enjoy his date with you.)
comfort hcs tho, when you feel insecure or down in some ways talk to him. he might pick up the bad mood but he isn't the type to try and overstep when you don't want to tell him. and as said before, he is a really good listener who is always there for you, so it will really do you good.
sometimes protest but he loves it when you play with his hair one way or another. ruffle it, pat it, style it—do as you wish. bonus if you are in front of him, in his lap, in the comfort of your shared abode. clingy isagi coming out again.
he hugs in the same way he kisses. they are long and heartfelt. one could use "passionate" to describe them, if it isn't for a certain chaste-esque mannerism that is almost always there.
the only time it is not is when the two of you are in private but because this is a family account. not going there.
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koobratzy · 3 months
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The Jewel of the North
Just a little fanfic idea I had. No one writes for Cregan, so now I take it upon myself to deliver what we've all been waiting for. Let me know what you think, and please reblog if you like what I wrote so far. It will help me reach a bigger audience <3 I love you all. Remember to take care of yourself!
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Y/N Valaryon always knew she was a bastard. Her silver hair and violet eyes protected her from such rumors, making the court believe that she was the only trueborn child of Leanor, but she knew the truth. She was as much out of wedlock as her younger brothers.
The princess could see how Daemon Targaryen looked at her. He tried to be discreet, but his eyes always followed her like a shadow, no matter where she went. The prince was like a ghost. Hovering over her at all times but invisible to the naked eye. When Y/N managed to catch his gaze, there was longing inside. Desire to be near, to show his devotion for what it was. Love for his firstborn child. But he couldn't openly do that. The court was too watchful of Rhaenyra anyway, even without his involvement in the young princess's life.
Her own personality convinced her even further. She was full of fire. The veins inside her body transported heat with every breath, her heart burning with so much anger that even the princess got scared sometimes. From a young age, Y/N trained with a sword, just like her brothers did, and the abilities she presented could put many young lordlings to shame. It only became more apparent when the dragonless princess was found by Cannibal. Rhaenyra was terrified, her only daughter standing so close to the ferocious beast capable of swallowing her whole. And yet, it never happened. The dangerous monstrosity picked her. Of all dragons, she was chosen by him. The only beast that could match her inner flame and rage.
Young Valaryon knew that she was his. They could pretend all they wanted, but she knew the truth.
When Laenor Valaryon died, the curtains of the theatre of life they played so long finally fell, and Daemon got what he always wanted. His firstborn daughter. He could finally be the father he always wanted to be and help her reach full potential. Show not only how to control her rage but also how to use it to achieve whatever she dreamed of. His daughter would always be protected, either by him or her own strength.
Their life on Dragonstone was perfect. Cheerful, free of any worries, luxurious. Peaceful without the constant unsettling presence of her uncles. But dark clouds were gathering over the clear skies. A storm more dangerous than any in history was coming way quicker than anyone expected, and it was ready to devour House Targaryen with its jaws, throwing the realm into chaos.
What will become of Y/N's life? Will her entire world burn? Or is a bit of ice and snow enough to extinguish it before it turns into ashes?
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elsbunny · 10 months
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— els with a hyper feminine gf!
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warnings: hyper feminine reader, ellie being a nerd, gf!ellie, LOSER els, ellie being a meanie in the beginning just because shes a idiot in love, overall just fluff <3
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when ellie first met you she thought you were shallow, and she still curses herself for it
with that let’s say she didn't get along with you at first, always getting irritated when you demanded more time to get ready
there was no way to get away from you because you guys had the same group of friends, so in time ellie learned that you weren't just some fancy doll who only thinks about pink and glitter
she even learned that you get extremely frustrated when you forget your lip gloss, so she bought one to always keep in her pocket
ellie who became obsessed with the perfume you wear and always manages to smell you up close
ellie who thinks you are the sweetest girl in town
ellie who still tries to pretend she doesn't care about you, but every time she sees a cute stuffed animal she buys it and has it delivered to your house
ellie who always rolls her eyes every time you start talking about the expensive bags you like, even though she loves hearing you talk about things that amuse you
ellie who loves that your not afraid to perform your femininity
ellie who finally accepted that she adores that your always so giddy and jumpy and pretty like a doll
ellie who got close to you and started giving you the sweetest nicknames (dollie, sweet face, pretty girl, angel, princess, bambi and pinkie)
ellie who had about fifty existential crises before asking you out and sending you a paper at the end with a "do you want to be the only mouth I kiss, yes or no?" and of course she put a little heart on the side
gf!ellie is the type of girlfriend who sends you pictures of marceline and princess bubblegum saying "that's so us"
gf!ellie who would just sit there, smiling like a idiot watching you ramble about some new cute outfit you bought for yourself, always nodding her head to make sure you know shes following along
gf!ellie who stays up all night watching tutorials on how to do cute hairstyles
gf!ellie who became a MASTER at styling your hair, always adding cute little pink bows because she knows you’d love it
gf!ellie who took some time to fully understand your fashion sense
gf!ellie who became your personal skincare product tester
gf!ellie who learned how to paint your nails
gf!ellie who patiently waits for you to get ready and smile widely when you show up all pretty
gf!ellie who always appreciates the way you take your time to always be neat
gf!ellie who was extremely happy when you bought matching pajamas, yours being pink with bunnies everywhere and hers being green with little dinosaurs everywhere
gf!ellie who grew a bit possessive after she realized that everyone finds you attractive
gf!ellie who always sends you links of cheap, but nice, clothes expecting you to spend less
gf!ellie who associates you with everything thats cute
gf!ellie who saw a cute bunny and immediately sent you a picture saying "that's literally you babe”
gf!ellie who loves that you both are the perfect example of polar opposites
gf!ellie who deeply loves everything about you and would do anything to make HER sweet girl happy <3
MIGHT MAKE A PART TWO BECAUSE HYPER FEM X LOSER MASC ITS MY KINDA OF THIIIING BABES
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bugsbia · 8 months
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ʚ NSFW Alphabet with Scaramouche
ʚ BEFORE READING: Fem reader, Scara is pretty rough in this one since it's focused on Fatui era Scaramouche. Will probably also do a Wanderer and Kabukimono era versions. Also, to anyone who has sent a request, I will be getting to those <3
ʚ WARNINGS: Scara is distant and mean!! Just don't read this if you can't handle rough kinks<3
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Scaramouche does not like his aftercare, he thinks it's another pointless human ritual that he see's no point in, human emotions are truly pointless to him, as is their comfort. He'd much rather just fuck your brains out then go back to do his own thing without a word being exchanged afterwards, truly you're just a toy for him to use when he can't hold back anymore, or at least that's what he tries to convince himself.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of your body)
He doesn't have a specific favourite, he just prefers whatever is most sensitive since he can use that to torture you. Whatever it is, your nipples, your thighs, even if it's your throat, he'll use it against you. He'll bite you, slap you, do whatever he can to watch you squirm beneath him.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)
He avoids cumming inside of you, he's not sure if he can get you pregnant since he's a puppet but he doesn't want to risk it. he doesn't need some sort of pregnancy scandal because that would not only tie him to someone but it would also cause problems within his job. But he'll gladly cum on your face, he can't deny the satisfaction he feels when he see's your fucked out face covered in his cum.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
His dirty little secret is that he actually thinks your moans are like music to his ears, just so perfect that it drives him crazy, ESPEICALLY when you moan his name. It sends him reeling, he always ends up losing control and just pounding into you whenever you moan his name.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Experience is not something he has, he spent most of his life wandering around Teyvat as The Kabukimono which didn't exactly bring about a lot of chances for him to gain any experience. Truthfully you were his first, but he pretends you weren't, he doesn't want you to know something so vulnerable about him. So he'll continue on pretending you're just one of many girls just drooling over him, when in reality you're the only one he's willing to sleep with.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)
Nothing beats missionary to him, it's simple and not physically demanding but also gives him perfect access to you. He can easily reach down and choke you, tease your nipples or drive you crazy by tormenting your clit. Also means he gets to see all your reactions, every tear that may spill from your eyes, if you drool, he'll get to see it all.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Serious, he is dead serious. He won't catch him being goofy or silly, he's above such things.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Scaramouche is a puppet, he doesn't exactly grow body hair, nor does the hair on his head grow. It's all artificial, but if you expressed an interest in body hair then maybe he'd ask dottore about hair implants...
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Intimacy is not something he is willing to give, for now at least, sex is just sex. A way to release his frustrations and feel good after stressful days of working for the Fatui.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
He doesn't really masturbate, why would he when he can always just drag you over? You're his well behaved slut, and he plans on taking advantage of that.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
One thing about Scaramouche is that he always wants to be above, above everyone, he wants to be a god afterall, and that doesn't change during sex. He will lose it whenever you worship him in any way, when you kneel before him and suck his cock like your life depends on it. He's your god, and you better act like it or else he'll find a way to punish you for sinning against him.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
His office, he likes railing you in his office. He doesn't really like the Fatui and see's it as some big "fuck you" to them, to be fucking your brains out during his work hours, on the desk or the chair they paid for. It's too fun for him.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
When you try act all defiant against him, act like you're not interested in having sex with him anymore. It just drives him to break you down, and he always does. He'll pin you down against the bed and pound you till you're a sobbing mess, begging for his forgiveness and confessing how much you enjoy having sex with him how good it feels when he fills you up.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Do not ever mutter an "I love you" to him during sex, unless you want him to stop mid session that is. He can't handle that level of intimacy yet, he's not sure he even fully understands love.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Giving and receiving, he doesn't care, either way works. When you suck him off he gets to watch you choke and drool all over his cock, gets to see you all messy and desperate. On the other hand he gets to drives you over the edge when he eats you out, he gets to lick and suck at your cunt till you're a sobbing mess. He loves the way you whine and cry when you're getting overstimulated.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Fast and rough all the time, he has no time for sensuality and slowness, he doesn't care for it if it's in an intimate way. He will go slow though if it means torturing you and making you beg, that's an opportunity he cannot skip.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He likes his quickies, but also enjoys spending hours driving you wild, it just depends on his schedule. If he has a busy day then he'll pull you into an alleyway and have his way, or maybe he'll make you suck his cock from under his desk while he's working. If he isn't busy then he'll take his time with it, he likes watching you get desperate when he's taking a long time,
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Scaramouche does not fuck with risky business very much, he refuses to put his reputation at risk after he worked so hard for it. The riskiest he'll get is fucking you in his office, knowing someone might hear as they walk past, but he'll always lock the door. Hearing is all they'll get.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
As a puppet he has an absolute ton of stamina and you really shouldn't test that, he'll easily push you past your limits if you push his buttons too much. He wouldn't mind fucking you till you pass out, and he easily could.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He didn't own toys originally, but he ended up buying a few after coming upon you. A few vibrators he'll use on you while he fucks you, maybe a dildo he'll use to fuck your ass. He'll never let you use anything on him though, even if he knows it'll make him feel good. He won't let you have any control over him.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
If you look in the dictionary his name would written underneath unfair because he will tease you all he can, he loves how you react when he teases you. When he calls you a slut and you whine, or when he slows down and watches you get frustrated.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He's not very loud, but he's not silent. He'll groan and moan quietly, but he'll do his best to keep it quiet since he doesn't want to embarrass himself.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Scaramouche would, without a doubt, using his electro abilities during sex. Pushing his fingers your clit and sending small zaps of electro against it just to see you gasp and whine at the sensation, maybe he'll zap your nipples too just to see you jump slightly.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Blessed by the gods (aka given by dottore) about 7 inches long and good girth. He's hairless by default as mentioned earlier, but will talk to The Doctor about it if you like hair.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
His sex drive is a high, it's a rare time in his life where he gets to feel pleasure so he finds himself constantly wanting to go back and have his way with you whenever he can. It's too good to not do.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He doesn't sleep afterwards, he won't be caught asleep by anyone since it's such a vulnerable position. He'll leave you to sleep in his bed and go do whatever he has to do.
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awfcspencer · 5 months
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Puppy Love || alexia putellas x reader
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alexia putellas x reader
prompt: you and Alexia adopt a puppy.
warnings: none, straight full fluff
a/n: pretend nala just doesn’t exist sorry!
You and Alexia had been going back and forth about getting a puppy. Alexia insisted that you two were far to busy to properly attend to its needs but you were adamant that you would make plenty of time. You were trying to psychologically convince Alexia by frequently sending her puppy pictures while she was at training or making sure to take her down the pet isle in the store and point out adorable toys. But alas, your efforts were unsuccessful.
You had eventually let the subject go, falling into the busier part of your work schedule and Alexia’s match schedule. On Alexia’s way home from training one day, she fell upon a local pet shelter that she had never seen before and was immediately reminded of your grave yearn for a puppy. Pulling into the parking lot, Alexia convinced herself that she was simply just looking, and in no way shape or form was she purchasing a puppy. She simply just wanted to browse the selection.
After walking in, Alexia walked up and down the hallway, looking at the dogs and cats. One special puppy at the end of the hall caught her eye. She almost didn’t even see the puppy as he was sheltered off from the other animals. It was a brown little boy lab that had three legs, but when he saw Alexia, he met her hand at the cage and wagged his little tail, licking her hand energetically.
To say Alexia was obsessed immediately would be an understatement. His big brown eyes captured her heart, especially when she looked at the little infographic that informed her that if he was not adopted soon, he would be put down. In that moment, she knew she was in fact leaving the shelter with a puppy. She couldn’t let someone put him down. His skin was soft and he seemed very personable, he even had good balance although he was missing a leg.
Informing the vet tech she wanted the lab, she was later walking out the shelter with a puppy, picking up a few items like puppy pads and a brand new collar for him. The vet even tried to talk her out of it, informing her that they had ‘normal’ puppies, but she wanted the brown lab, he was utterly perfect to her. She was his saving grace.
What just happened to Alexia did not hit her until she was pulling into the driveway. The little puppy had yet to stop smiling and wagging his tail, falling into Alexia’s lap as she drove and eventually fell asleep. Alexia had just adopted a puppy, even after she told herself she wouldn’t. Now she had to figure out how she was going to explain this to you. The small puppy fit in her training bag, so she carefully set him in and made her way into the home.
“Amor?” she called out, making sure to be careful with bag.
“In the kitchen babe!” you replied as you were working on finishing up dinner, hearing her just enter the home.
Walking into the kitchen, Alexia put her kit bag behind her back to hide the major item she picked up on her way home. She walks up to you and brings you in for a soft kiss and hug.
“I missed you baby.” you say as you return the hug and kiss. Holding Alexia in your arms you thought your mind was playing tricks on you when you heard a small little bark.
“Alexia? Did you just… bark?” you asked, incredibly confused and curious.
“Oh um….yeah I did.” Alexia replied, not knowing how to break the ice that there was a full blown brown lab currently in her bag, probably chewing on her kit and boots as they speak.
Another bark was let out, and it was in fact coming from behind Alexia. Alexia was beat red, she knew her luck had ran out and you definitely knew it wasn’t her letting out the barks. Alexia brings her bag to her front and sets in on top of the kitchen counter as a small 3-legged puppy crawls out, still energetic and playful.
“ALE YOU BOUGHT A PUPPY!” you scream out, immediately pulling the small dog into your arms, gently petting him as he licks your arm. Overjoyed and happy you set him on the floor and begin to rub his soft belly. He stumbles getting up, falling down a few times but each time he perseveres and gets back up. He quickly runs around your shared home, sniffing everything out.
“Alexia Putellas how on earth did you leave for training without a puppy but return with one?” you question. Just imagining what situation Alexia could have possibly gotten into on her way home.
“On my way home I noticed there was a shelter, and I promise you Y/N I was just looking and I swore I was not leaving with a single animal, but I saw him all alone in the back and it said he was going to be put down if no one adopted him, so I had too. I mean look at him.” Alexia states, trying to convince you with his sweet puppy eyes as she picks him up off the floor. Now the two of them were sending you puppy eyes.
“I mean he is so cute.” you say as you gently give his head a few scratches. “What are we going to name him?” you ask. You are just secretly happy that you now have a puppy after months of waiting and begging for one. You already had a cart full online of puppy treats, toys, and outfit’s waiting for this day to come.
Alexia sets down the little lab and begins to ponder on what the perfect name for him would be as she begins to get her plate ready to eat dinner.
Right before Alexia is about to sit down you say, “Hey babe, while you think of name, he did just pee on the floor and because you did this behind my back, I would say you have puppy duty first.” you say as you laugh, handing her a few towels.
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cdbabymp3 · 2 months
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your writing is so incredible u are feeding the hamzah girls DAILY 😛 currently thinking about if u were friends/mutual friends with him but you always had this sexual tension and then one night u both finally broke…
𐙚needs ― hamzahthefantastic
notes/warnings: nsfw !! THE LONG AWAITED ROOMATE FIC IS HERE !! sexual tension leading to unprotected sex, pretend ur on the pill idk idk! self indulgent height difference between hamzah and reader 🥸 post ovulation clarity is hitting ... pls don't judge me for this i was quite literally in a primal state
listen to the song while reading, thank me later
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yours and hamzah's apartment is quiet. so quiet you can hear the cars pass by, the sound slipping in from the cracked open window. it's been almost 3 days without air conditioning, which isn't ideal for the middle of summer in toronto. because of this, you and hamzah have had no choice but to wear a limited amount of clothing around each other. for you, it's been a thin tank top (so thin you can see the lace detail of your bra through it) and jean shorts (the ones you wore to summer camp freshman year, the material always shorter than you remember). for hamzah, it's been his gym shorts (the extra short ones he wears for lifting that give you a full view of his thick thighs), and a random short-sleeved shirt that hugged his biceps tightly. however, with the increasing heat inside your home, lately he's given up on wearing a shirt. it was a sight nothing could've prepared you for. you kept replaying the moment from earlier over and over in your head, his back muscles flexing as he emptied bags of groceries and stocked the fridge. engulfed by the cold air, hamzah decided to stand in front of the fridge, fully on display as he tried to lower his body temperature. the way he closed his eyes and rolled his neck in relief affected you physically.
this morning, you had to ignore the feeling because you had other things to get done. but now, lying atop your duvet and staring at the ceiling, the feelings finds its way back. you don't want to ignore it anymore. the hot july air, the sound of hamzah typing on the other side of the wall that separates you, the image of his bare torso...it's all too much. you huff, equal parts sexual frustration and annoyance from how hot your apartment was getting. even as the sun goes down, the warm air makes your baby hairs stick to your forehead, something hamzah told you he found cute. he had a way of complimenting you so innocently, yet you always took it as more. in some way, you felt like he wanted you to take it as more. with this notion, you muster up the courage and get out of bed, deciding to go bother hamzah. you exit your room and walk two short steps, approaching his door, which is wide open. the sight before you, even better than this morning, almost causes a guttural noise to leave your mouth. hamzah sat at his desk, shirtless, gym shorts riding up dangerously high, and his glasses sat on the bridge of his nose. he's so focused on typing on his computer that he doesn't register your presence whatsoever. you knock on the wall gently, making him turn in his chair with a little squeak and push his glasses up.
"hey," you nod, quickly trying to craft what you want to say next
"oh, hey." he matches your nod, closing his browser and giving you his full attention.
you rub the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand and sigh, "i can't do this, i'm dying."
he laughs at your dramatics, picking up his phone from his desk and scrolling through the weather app, "i know, it's getting worse too. it's not supposed to cool down till midnight."
"great." you quip, "what did the landlord say about the A/C?"
"uhhh" hamzah switches on his phone over to messages, "he said the repair guy can't come till monday morning."
you let out a groan, holding your hair up in a makeshift ponytail. you can't help but eye him down and it doesn't go unnoticed. hamzah clears his throat and shifts in his seat, which emits another squeak. you both laugh at the noise and he pretends to be pissed off, getting up from the chair and walking up to you. you suddenly feel overwhelming aware of both of your nearly bare figures being so close to each other. it seems like he's not going to stop walking until he's a mere few inches away. he gestures past where you stand in the doorway and you give him a confused look, but let him past you. he trails down the hall into the kitchen and you follow behind, getting another lovely view of his naked back. like earlier, he swings the fridge door open and lets the cold air hit his exposed skin. he hums in delight, beckoning you by hand to join him. once you're close enough, he sets his cold hands on the warm flesh of your shoulders and moves your figure in front of his, so you're the one directly in front of the fridge.
"good?" he asks, trying to position you in the optimal spot so the air hits your shorter frame.
goosebumps form as the chilled air travels up your arms and legs, reaching your neck and face in the process. it feels fucking amazing, but the fabrics of your top creates an undesired barrier. with his large hands still on your shoulders, the desire for him grows stronger. you bite your lip, choosing to take a risk.
"it's good, but i'm still a little warm." you say with every hope he catches on to your flirting for once.
"yeah," he speaks after a drawn out silence, "it's probably your top."
you try to hide your smirk, but it's useless. "you think?" rhetorical, but it does the trick on him.
hesitantly, his fingers find the hem of your tight tank top and toy with it, "mhm," peeling the the fabric up your stomach and chest, until it's over your head and thrown somewhere on the counter. "see?" his low voice and the newfound stimulation from the coldness hitting your bare torso sends chills down your spine.
you nod adamantly, feeling your heartbeat pick up, the pulse thrumming almost out of your chest. you want this so bad and you're starting to think he does too.
"hamzah" you whisper, turning so you're face to face.
he looks down at you, looking like he's going to say something, but struggles to find the words. you open your mouth to help, but are cutoff by him grabbing your face and kissing you. your eyes widen in pure shock, then shut, feeling his needy hands squeeze at your hips. you attempt to get a handful of his hair to grab, but your height difference makes it hard. even on your tip toes, it's not enough. hamzah takes note of your efforts and crouches down, hands taking hold of the back of your thighs and picking you up. you squeal into the kiss, immediately, arms hooking around his neck and legs wrapping around his lower waist. the fridge still wide open, hamzah turns both of you around. he sets you down on the counter, lips going to your neck and sucking the sensitive skin until you yelp. you rake a hand through his curls, pushing his head lower down your chest. his full lips leave open-mouthed kisses down the tops of your breasts, down your stomach, until he gets to the waist of your jean shorts. he looks up at you, waiting for your approval, to which you give him in the form of an embarrassing whine. he fiddles with the button and zipper of your shorts, sliding them down your legs. once, they're to your ankles, hamzah throws them and they knock over a glass of water on the kitchen table. usually, he'd run over and clean up the spill, but his hunger for you clouded any concern about water on the floor. you can't help but feel relieved by his neediness, no longer ashamed about the things you used to imagine doing with him because you were doing them now. he takes the hem of your underwear and pulls it down, this time you kick the article of clothing off at your ankles. the mixture of the fridge's coolness and hamzah's warm tongue licking a stipe against your heat made your jaw go slack. it wasn't enough for him, though, so he drags your thighs closer to himself, causing you to lay down against the counter. he sucks on your clit, alternating between licking and kissing in the process. you whimper, legs wrapping around his head, heels digging into his bare back to bring him even closer. he pauses for a moment and you swear you could cry from the sudden lack of stimulation. you look up to see him take off his glasses, setting them aside on the counter and going back to work. you can feel the knot in your stomach building, your impending orgasm approaching closer than you expected.
"h-hamzah- ah, wait, wait" you pant, sitting up by your elbows.
he stops, looking up in fear, your arousal coating his chin. the sight alone could make you cum, if you were being fully honest.
"want me to stop?" he wipes his chin, caressing your thigh with his free hand sweetly.
"yeah-no. but i don't wanna cum yet..." you admit, oddly getting shy.
"do you wanna go to my room?" he asks
"please." is all you can spit out as he grabs your hips and gets you off the counter. he kicks the fridge door shut, taking your hand and leading you to his room. once inside, he waits for your next move.
"should i-"
playfully, you push him onto his bed, straddling his waist. you can feel how turned on he is underneath you, telling you everything you need to know. this whole time you thought this infatuation was one-sided....you were dead wrong.
his room his hot, the residual coolness from the fridge leaving both your bodies by the second. this and your unfinished orgasm give you the extra push you need to initiate things quicker, which gets absolutely no complaints from hamzah.
you take off your bra, getting off hamzah for a second so he can take off his shorts and boxers. straddling him once more, you slide down onto his erection. there's little resistance due to your arousal, eliciting a throaty moan from you and hamzah. once you're fully sunken down on him, you grab onto his shoulder and he holds your ass. starting slow, you lift your hips up and down to get into a rhythm. while the motion is nice, it doesn't get you to where you want to go. ideally, you want your first hookup with hamzah to be long and thorough, but you weren't sure how much longer you can handle being without release. you start to rock your hips back and forth, grinding so hard that his pelvic bone hits your clit with each movement you make.
hamzah starts to move your ass as your grind, only making the stimulation more intense. you quicken your pace, if it's even possible, moving back and forth so fast that the headboard of the bed repeatedly hits the wall. the squelching of your arousal with each move you make leaves hamzah in complete awe, feeling his own release chase close behind.
"oh god" you moan, gripping his arms tighter, fingernails digging into his skin and making crescent shapes.
"you got it, baby.... i'm almost there too." he breathes out heavily, helping you keep your pace going as you start to feel weak.
the room feels like it's on fire, both your bodies covered in sweat, hair sticking your foreheads with flushed faces, as you reach your highs together. you scream, feeling yourself come undone on him and he kisses you through it, muffling your noises. his own high follows shortly after, whimpering into the heated kiss.
breaking contact, you're both a panting, sweaty mess. you look at him with half-lidded eyes, wiping a bead of sweat that dribbles down his cheek. you giggle as he moves away the hair that sticks to your face so he can see you all the way.
"so, how long have you been wanting to do that?" he teases, still catching his breath.
"i should ask you the same thing." you fire back
you think he's gonna spout something cocky, but he laughs, "since we signed that fucking lease and moved in here."
you laugh too, covering your face sheepishly, but he takes your wrists in his hands so you can't hide, kissing you with every last ounce of energy he has left.
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running and hiding forever goodbye.
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