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ineffably-human · 8 months

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We're going to scream about Nandermo all week, but right now I need to talk about Baron Afanas. Because the Baron's arc, so to speak, always felt like a big part of the series DNA for me - and oh fuck did this episode deliver on why.

I think we can agree: in the show, vampire society is fucked up, right?

Vampires on their own have plenty to deal with that can make them crazy. They have to live by killing. They lose everyone from their old lives. They have to find new reasons to keep going on, forever, so shit can get decadent really fast.

But holy shit, what that's turned into in vampire society? Where you actively put cruelty over mercy, and violence over solving your problems? Death cults and scam artists roam free, but if someone has depression the best thing to do is ignore them. Someone can get their mind wiped or be locked up for centuries, and that's just what you do to your species.

So: the Baron's arrival is the first conflict of the whole show. The joke is about an ancient powerful creature of pants-shitting terror, vs three lesser vampires who just want to live their lives and not get murdered for being too lazy to conquer humanity. There's a lot of talk about how to please him: do you keep to the old ways, or pick up some new traditions? Decorate with flayed skin, or with glitter? And the Baron says: who cares, you're all soft and useless. All that matters is getting more control over this world, until people are cattle and we have no reason to hide anymore.

But later he confesses: that shit stopped mattering ages ago. He's not even real nobility, he's literally impotent, and he talks about doing horrible things because he doesn't know what else to say. He's angry and half-crazy from boredom. And admitting that, owning those feelings, means suddenly he has three new friends and a whole new world of things to enjoy.

There's the Baron the rest of the vampire world knows, but for one night we see the ancient, unknowable terror was just a guy. Maybe he's always been just some guy.

That fun puts him in a vulnerable position, and he's killed by the most unwitting vampire slayer in fiction. But Baron Afanas is changed. He sucks dirt for a year and still comes out of it with a new lightness and joy to him. He saves the Sire, another ancient terrifying monster everyone was eager to kill or send away. They adopt the hellhound. They get cozy and give advice. They make popsicle stick houses and go on walks. They live.

And that seemed like the end of the story until last night - when the Baron suddenly felt like the butt of a joke everyone knew but him. Spurred on by someone else who feels lonely and ignored, the Baron felt vulnerable. And he snapped back to how he lived for centuries.

'What the hell are you all doing, enjoying yourselves? We're supposed to be unhappy. We're supposed to live centuries of unhappiness, bringing pain to everyone in our path, and we're definitely not supposed to cheer up our friend who's sad.'

Nobody liked the Baron before Guillermo killed him, not even other powerful vampires we meet; they saw the Baron as a crazy far beyond their own crazy. But this is also how vampire society values you. It's how they measure Nandor's worth when they think he's dead, too: how old and powerful you are, how much you've been able to conquer and kill.

Vampire pods are both cliquish and aren't expected to last in the first place. If someone dies, you literally paint them out of your lives and forget. Everything we see discourages feelings, sincerity, or even basic companionship. The only way to earn respect is to be cruel. The more cruel you are, the more powerful you are. The more powerful you are, the more feared you are - the lonelier you are, the crazier you are. It's practically designed to create the Baron, or worse.

But new vampires don't behave that way. And the vampires we follow in the show don't behave that way - because they have each other, because they've been encouraged to have each other, often by Guillermo. (Holy shit, Nadja saying maybe she'd be fine dying, and Nandor immediately asking if she's okay? Nothing changes in this house, except everything does. They're not going to almost lose one of their own ever again.)

The vampires in the heart of vampire culture never seem happy to be like this. It doesn't have to be like this.

The Baron doesn't become a tyrannical monster for long. Because he never actually was one - and because he spends two evenings and a fireball to the face, watching Nandor and Nadja fight for Guillermo. Watching them plead and cling and defy, seeing Guillermo's earnest feelings in spite of his bloodline and the mistakes he's made. Seeing Nandor's perfect trust, and then his grief, the way he insists that Guillermo was never 'just' anything. The Baron can't find real fulfillment in hurting someone (because that ship sailed ages ago). He can't deride them for caring, because he's cared for a long time now.

And when the Baron admits that's who he is, when he says it out loud, he only gains more in his life. He finds new depth in the happiness he'd felt for a while now, because he's admitted and allowed himself to be happy. And now he has the children he's always wanted. Living together, the Baron and the Sire are still ancient and powerful - and they're also family, finding real joy together in a world that was ready to dispose of them.

"I suppose with the right company, it can be beautiful, this eternal existence."

There's an inherent selfishness to being a vampire, taking from someone else in order to live. But there doesn't have to be inherent cruelty, or lack of love.

They're all ready to admit they care. The Staten vampires have all cared for Guillermo or each other in their own ways this season. And Guillermo doesn't lack for flaws, but loving his monster family has never been one of them. (When he and Nandor work their shit out, they're gonna be insufferable.)

Now they just have to let the Guide in. Because she's absolutely starved for love, and vampires get pretty fucked up when they're on their own.

#fandom: wwdits #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #i am a meta gremlin #baron afanas #tl;dr i am a sucker for choosing love #especially when the world around you says it's stupid or you're not allowed #but love was always in you so it happens anyway

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wormshirt · 3 months

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As someone who uses a mobility aid and has muscular tension that cause me general body and joint pain and stiffness from the hips down on both sides what would kill me with doctor who wouldn't be the running it'd be the fucking stairs. They don't always have stairs in doctor who but oh boy when they do. I can run super fast and then inevitably injure my hips and suffer through it and keep limping along through the pain but if it's a flight of stairs between me and safety I'm so dead. If I don't take those stairs 1 step at a time my knees WILL lock or my muscles will throw such a massive hissy fit that it'll take me TWICE the time it takes your average person to go up those stairs and I will be killed or kinapped or put through some strange and unusual scifi horror by step 3. The doctor and I (limping) run down 50000000 hallways and we reach the end of a hall with only a reasonably sized staircase on the other end of it and the doctor immediately starts vaulting up the steps 3 at a time until he turns around and notices that I have stopped completely at the bottom of the steps to stare at him blithely. He starts trying to get me to go up the stairs or ask what the hell I think I'm doing and I slowly lower myself back down to the ground and cross my arms over my chest and begin reciting funeral prayers with a serene smile. The big evil monster comes after me and I am eaten. Badly. The doctor yells NOOOOO really loud and cries a little maybe idk and then is emo about it for like half a season until they end up back by the staircase in a season finale or something and it's revealed that the stairs are magic stairs that preserve the conciousness of any ugly ass bitch who hates staircases enough and the doctor is implied to have know this all along. and the doctor gives me some heartbroken major depressive disorder poster child look and a little speech about how they "couldn't have come back here for blah blah excuses reasons" and I smile sweetly and say "why the fuck didn't you have an emergency exit strategy or some shit incase the guy who uses a fucking cane couldn't do some shit like go up stairs super fast because he uses a fucking cane. Hello. Not even mad. Are you stupid. You are a timelord. Your people let your gay ass fuck off to who knows where because you're the dumbest timelord ever and they couldn't stand your stupid ass. I can't believe I'm stuck on this gay ass space station with this lame ass death for all of eternity because you didn't think that the guy who struggles to go up stairs would struggle to go up stairs. You wanna know what the alien said to me before he ate me. He said hey that dude you're here with sucks so bad and is stupid and gay and lame as hell. And I would have said 'yeah lol' but then he ate me. He ate me because of stairs doctor. Stairs." And then I'd stay forever trapped with my soul in that staircase just so I could spend the rest of enternity sending spam calls and telemarketers to the tardis phone. The doctor's investigating something outside an alien bar somewhere and sees ads like XXX Brittany Wants To Spend a NIGHT With YOU Sexy! Hot Singles in your area! Call here for a night of FUN! HOT SINGLE Xxeksifloryean Milfs Looking For a MATE in GALAXIES NEAR YOU!!!!❤️❤️❤️ and softly puts a hand on the posters and goes "I'm sorry I couldn't save you....." five seconds later jerry from *TOTALLY REAL* intergalactic statefarm NOT A FAKE NOT A SCAM calls up the doctor on the TARDIS phone to ask about the doctor's insurance info. Somewhere I kick an ugly ass step on a stupid fucking staircase and break my ghost toe. I hop around and start swearing.

#doctor who #dw #long post #the doctor #bangers #<-original post tag

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mcytblrsexymen · 1 year

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Hey how are you?

Looking to chat with Joe about some offers we have for his channel.

hello, Perfectly Legitimate Not At All A Scam Business Opportunity! we here at the mcytblr sexyman competition - a fan-run event that’s been over for a month now and which I only just now checked the inbox of for fun - are definitely the people you should be contacting for this, and not, say, the business email of the guy you’re trying to talk to. or like, literally any avenue that’s not via “tumblr blog run by people who do not directly talk to joe in a capacity beyond the level any fan might be able to”. like. how did you get here. why are you here. I need you to know I’m only responding this so everyone can point and laugh at this. like. hello. this isn’t even his tumblr blog you have the wrong guys,

#liris2121 #ask #I’m not typically answering asks at the moment we’re largely done over here #however. I need to answer this based on sheer ???????#Something Tells Me This Is Not A Legitimate Sponsorship Opportunity #Just A Hunch

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imfinereallyy · 1 year

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The Long Con

I saw this tik tok edit of Rachel McAdams in the movie Hot Chick where she gets a milkshake on house (and she's just totally playing the guy) and for some odd reason this spiraled me into thinking about Conman!Steve and Mob Boss!Eddie. So here is my brainrot I guess. Maybe I'll do more parts or make something longer on ao3 if people like it.

Steve wasn't one to not think things through. Yes, he was aware that it was a double negative. He played up the dumb part quite often, but Steve wasn't actually stupid. So it was all part of the game, really.

Steve loved the game. The rush, the push, and the pull of tricking someone, getting them for all their worth. Steve loved the game because it was fun. Steve loved the game because he got to use horrible people for his very lavish lifestyle. There was nothing like living rich by feeding off the rich. Well, he was trying to do that, at least. See, Steve, although good at what he did, he burned through money faster than you could say savings. It wasn't his fault, really. He used to be better at keeping track. Always made sure to have enough, just in case. Hadn't needed to worry about anyone but himself. Because the only thing Steve truly loved for a long time was the game itself.

But then he met people along the way, misfits and criminals like himself that he couldn't help spoiling. The only person who seemed to catch his problem was Robin, but even she couldn't resist a new hard drive for her computer. It's how she made her own money, after all.

Despite his problem with spoiling everyone, Steve always thought things through. He followed the rules of the game without rules and continued to fill his pockets, scamming the deserving and cruel. But sometimes, sometimes for Steve... his abilities and bad habits sometimes, well, overlapped. Sometimes, Steve could have been better at choosing the right people to care about. He was getting better at it, he swears. He let go of the wrong ones a long, long time ago.

But sometimes they came back begging.

Tommy had been someone from his life before. Before being on his own, back when purple and blue were his father's favorite colors to paint him with. It was a time before the game, a time that, although he tries to forget, had a grip on him.

So when Tommy called, seeking forgiveness, seeking help, Steve caved quickly. He would always be that same little boy, looking for love from a past that wasn't there. Tommy wasn't his parents, sure, but it was as close as he would get.

So, yes, steve normally thought things through, but there was the rare occasion, there was the exception to the rule, where Steve majorly fucked up.

He was in Boston when it happened. Even though years ago, Steve swears he would never be going back. He's in a small diner two blocks away from main street. And he had just finished getting Tommy's money back. Steve always celebrated with one of three things: drinks, sex, or milkshakes.

And Steve wanted out of Boston as fast as possible, so he went for his quickest and sometimes tastiest tradition.

"How much do I owe you?" Steve smiled innocently at the waiter, giving his best babygirl face.

The waiter bit his lips as he tried not to stare at Steve's mouth, "It's okay, it's on the house."

Steve licked part of his free milkshake off his finger, "Really?" Steve's voice was an octave higher just for the waiter. He could tell he was someone who had a preference for men, and most likely had a problem with letting go of his masculinity. So Steve knew the more feminine, the better. Steve couldn't help the sly grin that stretched across his face when the waiter got flustered. He was an attention whore; sue him.

His waiter—huh, Andy, according to his name tag—looked like he was about to say something when a throat cleared behind him.

"Andy, doll, you might be wanting to get back to the kitchen for a minute." A deep voice said behind Andy. It sent chills down Steve's spine. The Boston accent with a slight tilt of Irish was enough to captivate him. Andy moved faster than the speed of light at the command.

When Andy disappeared, with his tail between his legs no less, the most beautiful man Steve's ever seen revealed himself. A tall, pale, curly brunette stood before him in a suit with a ripped-up band tee underneath. It shouldn't look good, and it shouldn't look professional, but it did. Steve saw tattoos peeking out from exposed skin, piercings all over his ears, and enough jewelry to start a store. Steve was bewitched.

The mystery man smiled, hands in his pockets, and leaned down slightly into Steve's space. "Oh, sweetheart, I have been looking for you everywhere."

Steve stayed silent, drinking him in; he smelt of mint, smoke, and morning rain.

The man slid into the booth, put his arms on the table, and made a little beat with his knuckles on the plastic. Then, Steve noticed the words "Hell Fire" across his knuckles. Steve's heart sunk to his stomach. He had heard of those hands before. Those hands were famous.

The man leaned his face against his right fist. "Hell" pushed into his cheekbone. "The name is Eddie Munson, love." Eddie looked Steve up and down. "But I think you've already figured that out by now, haven't ya?"

Steve steeled himself. He should be okay. He hadn't wronged this man before, but something, something was telling Steve that he most definitely had. The look in his sweet abyss of eyes told him as much.

A smirk stretched across Eddie's face, and suddenly he kicked the leather bag next to Steve's feet under the table. Steve's cheek twitched slightly for a millisecond, but it was enough to give him away. "It seems here... like you and Hagan have stolen quite a bit of money from me." Eddie tsk-tsked while Steve's heart dropped from his stomach to his feet. Tommy screwed him.

"And that love, well, that just won't do."Steve had never seen such a sweet smile feel so deadly. "So, Sunshine, I am going to make you a deal, and you would be smart to take it."

Steve wasn't actually dumb, but yes, he most definitely did not think this through.

________

Sooo thoughts? I was going to write more but if this was a flop, I didn't want to put my heart in soul into it. But I did spiral a bit with it. Whoops!

edit: I made some grammatical changes but that's it. I realized I kept switching tense changes when I was writing in present, so I changed it to past. I'm much more comfortable with it. Let me know if there are any more errors.

part 2: here

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solarwoniii · 9 months

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PLAYING ROBLOX WITH THEM ! zb1

fluff, crack, :D

★ my perm taglist ; @hunbun07 @metalchick529 @chewryy @haesunflower @iraa567 !

⋆ -- jiwoong ; natural disaster survival

hes a big big big boomer so hes just confused the whole time

so ofc because youre such a kind s/o you choose a game where random things happen every two seconds and dont tell him at all how it works

POOR BABIE HES SO CONFUSED THE WHOLE TIME

tries following you around so he can survive the disasters but every time you purposely lead him to inevitable death

gets all mad and sulky bc ure 'being mean😠😠😠' so u eventually feel bad and help him get a win and hes so excited

every time u guys play roblox together after that he asks to play 'that one game with the tornados and the hurricanes'

AWWWJDIJNJXXNJJXSSI HES SO CUTE

⋆ -- zhanghao ; adopt me

scams little kids and refuses to share the pets he gets from it

runs away from u and locks you out of his house 😠😠

finally agrees to give you one of the pets if you give him something else in return

ENDS UP SCAMMING YOU AS WELL

you start a petition on the server and everyone starts reporting him

he gets his account banned for two weeks but he still claims it was worth it

⋆ -- hanbin ; work at a pizza place

awwww what a cute little wholesome couple activity aww

no. absolutely not.

the ENTIRE TIME you both are competing over who is better at each job.

'oh u delivered to that house? well guess what, i delivered to THREE in the time u did one'

'oh u boxed a few pizzas? well guess what, i boxed SIX in the time u did that.'

'oh u served a customer at the drive thru? well guess what, i served THAT ENTIRE LINE in the time u did that.'

he always somehow wins the little competitions and will not refrain from bragging in your face.

⋆ -- matthew ; fashion famous

touched on this here (nsfw post ! minors dont click)

its just the both of you bullying each other and competing like its the hunger games

'YOU COPIED ME!!' 'WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT I HAD THIS FIRST!!'

u guys get so mad when the other person wins

'I DESERVED THAT MORE THAN YOU DID!!!' 'WELL WHO WON LOSER?? WHO WON??/? THATS RIGHT I WON'

i swear it would be so fun playing together

probably your favourite way to spend time w each other

⋆ -- taerae ; royale high

hes classy what can i say yall

dresses up as an expensive prince and forces you to be his princess

he is somehow so crazy advanced at this game its scary

ofc he does share his riches with you 😍😍 gives you free stuff all the time

the two of you troll people tgt

but hes too nice so he ends up apologising for all the chaos that his s/o caused after a while (yes he blames it all on u)

⋆ -- ricky ; bloxburg

when he asked you to play bloxburg with him, you were excited to show off all your cool houses and how rich you were

. . . and then you saw his houses and his riches

IS SO ANNOYING will not stop flexing to you

takes u on a cute little date to pizza planet . . . and then leaves before paying 🙄

but ofc he was stupid and gave u builder perms on his house

so as payback you hung up photo frames everywhere with this photo

when he finds your damage he screams. literally screams the loudest scream you have ever heard him scream.

changes the double bed he placed in the bedroom for the both of you into two single beds placed on completely opposite sides of the room 😔😔😔 refuses to sleep beside you until u write him a formal apology

⋆ -- gyuvin ; zombie attack

U DO THAT THING WHERE WHEN YOU DIE YOU TURN INTO A ZOMBIE AND GO OVER AND ATTACK HIM TO FUCK W HIM

AND HE'S SO CONFUSED LMFAOAOOA

'WHY IS THIS ONE JUMPING !?!?!??!?!'

'ITS KILLING ME AAA'

'Y/N WHERE ARE U WHY ARENT U HELPING MEEEEEE'

when he finally looks on ur screen and realises YOU'RE the jumpy one hes so mad

the next round he purposely collects each and every zombie and then he goes and makes them all follow you LMFAOOO and then he gets himself killed so he can give you a little taste of your own medicine.

⋆ -- gunwook ; copyrighted artists

HELP MEE HIS DRAWINGS WLD BE SO FUNNY

also the type to cover your eyes if u guys come across one of those pp drawings..

and yet he always somehow tricks you into voting for his drawings

'oooohh that one is so nice i think it's the original' 'omg the others look so dumb i'm gonna pick to one in the middle' 'the other ones didn't even try this ones clearly the original'

LMFAOOO and he is so good at guessing which ones are yours

the trickster cannot be tricked

when you try and lie he catches it right away

'you always smile like that when you lie' 'i know how you draw stupid'

he knows u a lil too well 🙄🙄

⋆ -- yujin ; arsenal

BEATS UR ASS 💀💀 MULTIPLE TIMES 💀💀💀💀

has u begging for mercy (holds that shit over your head for the rest of your life)

'y/n ure so bad at this' 'SHUT UP I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT'

he literally does not even try and you're dead.

his team is thriving because of him whilst your team is dying because of you . . . polar opposites

sometimes when you're sad or you're not feeing well he'll let you win on purpose tho :(( and he'll pretend to be all bummed for u when u rub it into his face AAAA

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issacballsac · 9 months

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“Being a Member of BLAST”

Life is short why not take a chance and join a band? Masc!reader intended

Minor spoilers for NANA

Joining | Nana

Actually joining the band wasn’t hard especially because when you met Nana there was no band💀

You guys met at the train station when she first moved to Tokyo

You already lived in Tokyo and were just returning from a trip when you saw her

It was like an instant click she caught your eye

“Hey, do you happen to sing by any chance?”

“Who are you?”

“Don’t worry about that just know I can play guitar pretty damn good if I do say so myself!”

She was tired from the long ass ride and didn’t know anyone in Tokyo aside from Ren

Went back to your place and played for her

“I’ll think about it.”

Nana isn’t a very emotional or open person so she tends to keep secrets but over time if you guys get that close she’ll vent to you

If you smoke she’ll always ask you for your lighter

Older sister younger brother energy

Opposites | Hachi

Nana paid you an abrupt visit to tell you about her new place and totally not just for you to fix the AC

Checking the place out you laid eyes on an inverted version of Nana

“Hi, I’m Nana Komatsu!”

“Just call her Hachi.”

“Nana!”

“Nice to meet you, Hachi?”

She’s had a crush on just about every BLAST member , so, of course she has had a crush on you before

If you wear makeup or paint your nails she would love to do it for you

Amazing cook and if you ever wanted anything she’d happily make it for you

She rlly just wants to be needed

Definitely went to you for relationship advice with Nobu

You tend to just appear places so you were one of the first people to know about her pregnancy and went to the hospital with her

You stayed outside though to avoid ppl thinking you were the father 💀

You def don’t help with her shopping addiction

Shopping sprees constantly that’s why your broke as shit

“Should I get the soft blue or purple skirt?”

“Both.”

After the Takumi drama you guys would stay in contact and when Nobu wasn’t at your place she’d come to watch you practice alone

You’d support her decision because it’s her life in the end

Formation | Nobuō

The unforgiving aggression spewing from your ringing phone at the dead of night

Some random number was calling you and for whatever reason you answered, confident that it wasn’t a scam caller

“Hello?”

“It’s Nana, come over.”

“I’m not into late night favours if you get what I mean.”

“That’s not what I’m calling for, just get over here!”

Reluctantly wandering the dark streets of Tokyo you made your way over to Nana’s apartment, you’d only been there once to help with the AC where you learned of the other Nana or Hachi

Opening the door to reveal the two residents and a blonde man standing with his guitar in hand

“Took you long enough. Anyways, like I said Nobuo I already have a guitarist so go home.”

“Well we could always play together I have nothing against dual guitars!”

“You aren’t helping.”

“Good.”

You and Nobu got along great your guitars and personalities blending perfectly

He talks with you about everything especially when he and Hachi get together

If you’re shorter than/same height him he’d be happy to have another short guy in the band

If you’re taller he’d be happy if you didn’t make fun of his height though he does tend to light heartedly joke abt it

He likes to go to you for fashion inspiration and vice versa

Drunk karaoke

You would help him with song writing

You guys would be around the same age too so besties

You guys get along the best in the band

The bass | Shin

After the whole Nobu moving to Tokyo fiasco all you guys need is a bassist and drummer

Nobu sending you a picture of Hachi’s little drawing of the 3 of you on the band poster

You met up with them at the studio to practice with Shinichi on bass

For such a young kid he was pretty good player (granted your only like 6-7 years older)

Being confused right alongside him when everyone stopped playing

You, Shin, and Nobu are like the 3 musketeers

You- Oldest, Nobuo - Middle, Shin - Youngest

Shin snatched your clothes on a daily basis much like he does with Nobu

Unlike Nobu, you don’t care

He stays over at your place more than you’d like to admit

He basically lives there

He would definitely go to you about the Reira/Layla situation

Has mini fashion shows in your room with a fake runway and everything

You guys play games together on your console

He relaxes and is actually a kid when he hangs out with you

Has you paint his nails

He has moments when he storms off if you bring up a certain subject but he never stays mad for long and shows up at your door

Likes to go eat at new places with you especially if you’re paying for it

“I’m gonna get the chocolate croissants, one of those fancy hot chocolates, and..oh! You’re paying for this right?”

“Um..”

Bit a of spoiler kinda but later in the manga when he got arrested you’d be the only one to visit him

Completion | Yasu

You definitely shat yourself when you first met Yasu

He’s the responsible one in the band so he’s like a father figure to you especially if you didn’t have one

You two probably get to the studio first before anyone else

He’d always let you talk/rant to him if you ever needed to

Would be surprised if you remembered his birthday and got him a gift

If you smoke he’d go on smoke breaks with you

If you don’t smoke he’d make sure to hold his cigarette away from you/out of your face

Would teach you various card games

If you didn’t want to watch a movie alone he’d watch it with you

Any legal troubles go to him

Scratch that ANY troubles go to him

“Man you’re like a wise monk.”

“..because I’m bald?”

“No, because you’re wise..and because you’re bald.”

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olderthannetfic · 2 months

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Reading the anon abt the doll hobby not having anti drama, and I just had to make sure it didn't mention the BJD hobby, because that one is filled with drama and anti drama. I'm probably more prone to look for drama, but some of it isn't hard to find.

Idk why but I almost wanna share some of my highlights, so I'll do that. Buckle up, this is a long one, and it's only scratching some of the dumb shit bullshit that's happened over the years.

People constantly let themselves be scammed. There are some well known people, and when you look up their seller names you can literally find people who keep up with their renaming because they're such notorious scammers. People still "take a chance" and then a few weeks later: Guys you won't believe this, I got scammed.

There was an entire thing surrounding a company (companies?) selling dolls in the tone oriental. People were using that name because that's what it's literally named, and other people got upset and started an entire discourse about it. Yeah, only that it was an Asian company that had named that tone, they had been made aware of some Western collectors being upset about it, and really didn't care. There are several instances of Asian sellers and companies from Asia using the terms oriental.

The discourse about one Chinese doll company who made a statement on their Eng twitter about supporting the CCP in attacking Hong Kong. People were rightfully upset at the company, which had previously been criticized in the Western hobby sphere for Nazi-themed dolls. Yeah, so people started defending the company, claiming that the only did it to not get hurt by the CCP. Except no other company did something that stupid. It took several Chinese hobbyists from China coming over and making it pretty clear that that company has a real bad reputation in the Chinese hobby to begin with, and to stop defending them especially for the HK thing because that was their choice.

The hobby is actually incredibly open for cultural exchanges, and appreciation. But every once in a while there are people who start bitching about cultural appropriation, and then everyone has to tell them to shut up because people love their dolls and just think it looks neat and want to share.

On the topic of cultural appropriation. Some times the people who bitch about it mess up and attack people of that culture. One such person made a red doll, put it in a qipao for Lunar New year some years ago, saying she's a dragon. Yeah, turns out the artist is Chinese, and the people angry about "White people take a red doll, put it in a qipao calling it a dragon are fucking racist cultural appropriators." Also, once that came out, even before that, a bunch of people once again came in and made fun of these people, especially those that culturally celebrate Lunar new year.

On the same wave though, lol, that artist who made the doll is infamous for her completely batshit doll pre-order, and then her trying to hide that she took the money of a bunch of people and ran. It's even a doll that a lot of doll ooak artist youtubers worked with. The entire story is fucking wild, beyond her trying to blame the company (one person?) who'd produce them, and then pretending it was some flaw with the system they used to let people order.

"If you use runes, I'm gonna view you as a white Supremacist until you prove otherwise." Scandinavians and even Scandinavian poc people told them to shut up (there were actually good arguments about how offensive that statement was, but it was a good dress down), and then clearly not Scandinavian nor Scandi poc decided to double down. Last I saw there was still a stalemate between the Scandi's, and people who're sensible, and the people who just wanna be racist about Nordic runes and call them all white supremacist and attacking Scandi poc.

Sex dolls aren't BJDs...

People are also bitching about "child coded" dolls being put in naughty stuff. The problem is that these dolls often are bobbleheaded anime looking mofos. Even in the cases where you have a child doll: It's still not child porn. It's a hunk of plastic, calm down.

Some doll companies, like VOLKS have raffles/lotteries to have a change to buy the doll. You heard that right, just to be able to buy it. There has been tons of discourse about how unfair it is that US people get to enter twice. Or how people who don't even want the dolls just the raffles.

Scalpers. Nuff said.

People who can't budget, and constantly make that everyone else's problem when they buy a new doll they can't afford and then start panicking.

Customs. By God the customs bitching.

Paypal friends&family. For the love of Christ, stop buying things from random people with F&F especially when you don't know them, or if they're a confirmed fucking scammer.

There's literally a guy who's doll at first glance have some of the best diversity and rep, but the guy is an absolute asshole, and part of the hobby don't really know how to handle it. Small list: Told a disabled person who got frustrated when they were completely unable to assemble it that his dolls aren't made for them. Constantly bans people from buying from him for the dumbest reasons, like 1) Guy asking how shipping would be handled during 2020. 2) Person who got a faulty product, and asked what to do with it.* 3) Assuming a buyer was another already banned person, when it was made clear they weren't he still kept the ban. 4) Basically anyone who critiques his dolls. *He claims "wabi sabi", even though some of the product issues are way beyond any wabi sabi aesthetic. He also calls his "haters" the "entitled" and once made a comic about "eradicating the entitled" and had a doll in a striking uniform salute with a flat hand. Yeah so a Jewish person mentioned how the wording and pic combined gave bad Nazi'esque image and that he should avoid it. He banned the Jewish person. (The Jewish person was very respectful about it, and explained why phrasing things like "eradicating the entitled" and some other stuff was not a good combination.)

I remember back in the 00s seeing endless wank over people's porny photoshoots with their multiple BJDs that were styled as a visual kei group.

Also everyone's favorite perpetual wank topic: "OMG, how do you have 5? That's my rent for months!"

To this day, I see the acronym "BJD" and think "Time for popcorn!" even though I rarely see the wank anymore.

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tiajk · 4 months

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Platonic strawhat interactions? Here’s some ideas

You and Robin go shopping, You find a cool trinket, but you don’t have enough money

Sanji brings you a snack. A bird flies overhead and -plop- right on the food

Luffy was playing tag with you, Usopp, and Chopper. He uses his gum gum rocket to try and catch up and flies too far

Usopp is holding a game show. The contestants are you, Nami, Zoro and Sanji

Have fun!

Warnings; a POC reader in mind, with curly hair, Bi sanji because i genuinely believe its not cannon it's the truth, chaotic strawhats as usual, reader is interested in marine biology, and is hinted at having water powers (basically water bending), reader singled to have a lot of siblings, Gn!, reader, everyone just loving reader, Other pirates having a crush on reader

A/N; the game show one really spoke to me for some reason and your always so good with request ily, Guess who's working on her one piece script

Words count; 1070 masterlist

You have no idea how Usopp somehow convinced you and nami to join his little game show. That's a lie you know exactly how he did. Bribing nami with money that he didn't have. Sanji sees nami joining automatically willing to be the next contestant. Zoro joined because Usopp claimed that Zoro was too much of a chicken, scared that sanji would win. The rivalry automatically makes his blood boil. He got you to join by promising he would grow a water plant with you in his garden that you had particularly been wanting to learn more about. Your interest peaked. Now you stand in front of Usopp with poorly built little wooden stands Sanjis’s was made out of cardboard waiting for Usopp to finally get what he wanted. “Welcome my very good friends on this ship, the going sunny owned by the strawhat pirates and welcome our very own contestants Nami, {Na}-”. “Usopp, will you hurry up? I don't have all day for this” Zoro's voice from beside you speaks out. Ussop turns to him slightly offended from not being able to finish his little (cute) ramble. “Well i was almost done but since you rush me so damn much will start cant even have fun without you running your dumb mouth.” mumbling the last part he pulls out some flashcards out of his pocket. “The basic rules of this game are it's basically we're gonna see who knows each other best. It will go by category nami’s first, , then zoro, sanji, then {name}.” You all nod your heads at him, the game seemed simple enough. Usopp goes to your podium first “{Name} how are you today?” you smile “I’m doing great Usopp.” he returns the gesture to you “that's great to hear! Your question about nami is what are her favorite hobbies to do in the meantime when she's not scamming people.” Nami knocks Usopp on the head from her podium “YOU DUMBASS THAT'S NOT ALL I DO Y'KNOW” “HEYYY NO HITTING THE HOST” “USOPP LEAVE NAMI-SAN ALONE YOU HEAR ME”. you turn to zoro to see if he sees all the bullshit that's happening right now. He looks your way as well having a silent communication to at least try to stop the fighting. Before you could do anything the rest of the crew showed up. “What's happening we’ve been looking for you guys for the past 30 minutes” Luffy says while picking his nose. “I’m hosting a game show for the four of them!” Usopp explains excitedly while looking at you. Nodding at the others “yea were just about to get started you should watch!” The others agree they grab a few chairs or opting to sit on the deck floor and are curious to see what type of game show this is. “Alright now that we’ve all settled down we can finally begin. Clearing his throat “now {name} you may answer the question”. You thought hard nami was one of your best friends so it was easy but you had to pick one she licked the most then it was easy. Usopp had noticed you took a few moments “whenever you're ready tell me”. “I have my answer, it's shopping and she also loves to sunbathe”. Usopp looks at his flashcard “you are…Correct!!! Namis hobbies consist of sunbathing and shopping, one of her favorite things”. You smiled to yourself the game was slowly starting to get more fun now that you realize it.

The process had gone on forever every single time you had gotten the answer correct. Knowing your crew very well. Surprisingly the rest of the crew stayed. Robin was reading a book with chopper in her lap but her attention was still towards the game. Franky had been working on little fidgets while sitting there but he was interested nonetheless. Luffy had been lying in a star position. Brook and Jimbei had been engaging in small conversation but they still saw their crewmates go on with their daily shangains. Ussop had asked you a question about what is Zoro's favorite sword. Saying the Wado Ichimonji because his dear best friend gave it to him as a promise that they would both fulfill their dreams. When asked what Sanji's favorite food is answer spicy seafood pasta knowing that he wished he could have cooked it more often. It was your turn for the question to be asked about you. “Alright name your our last contestant and then the winner will win 40 thousand berries.” you look at nami to see the gleam in her eyes when money is mentioned. Usopp goes to Nami asking her the question he had prepared “How many people have a crush on {name}?” Nami scoffs while crossing her arms. Blood rushes to your face being grateful that they can't see it. “That's easy, Law,Kid, and not to mention Marco from whitebeard pirates. ” Usopp nods his head with confirmation and a thumbs up “YOUR CORRECT”. Usopp walks past you with a smile then stops at zoro. “Zoro what is {name} favorite thing to do with the strawhats crew” Zoro seems like he doesn't know but answers with confidence “They love hugging everyone giving people affection throughout the day”. Usopp doesn’t want Zoro to get the points but he does with a sigh of defeat “you are correct”. Ussop moved to sanji that was practically beaming like he was when he got asked nami’s question “Sanji your question about {name} is how many siblings do they have?” Sanji smirks and takes the cigarette out his mouth “Easy they have 4 being the middle child having two older ones and 2 younger” “your correct too” Luffy gets up from his pose from before “Is the game over who wins??” Usopp rolls his eyes “you have no patience y’know that luffy?” “BUT THE WINNER IS {NAME} GET ALL THE QUESTIONS CORRECT YOU GET 40 THOUSAND BERRY that i don’t have right now” Nami jumps from her podium strangling usopp “YOU LIAR YOUR DAMN LUCKY I DIDN’T WIN BECAUSE IF I DID” you go pull her off him just making sure that he doesn't die usopp i don't want the money just the water plant your promised to help me grow okay” usopp tried to catch his breath from almost being strangled to death “yup anything you want {name}” he said horsley maybe you should do more game shows from now on.

#strawhats x reader platonic #strawhat crew x reader #op x reader #tiajk #one piece x poc reader #one piece x reader #ussop x reader #god ussop x reader #opla ussop x reader

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beanghostprincess · 5 months

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I love ASL modern AUs because Sabo would be a politics student that goes to college without paying shit and is only there to fight professors and ruin Koala's day a little bit (she's actually there to study, thank you very much) and he'd be on the student's council without actually studying there, somehow, always saying they need to prepare a strike. And he'd be such an influential activist, changing the world with his strikes and riots and yelling at people about communism on the street with a bigass mic. And he's so fucking chaotic. Luffy, on the other hand, is always out there hanging out with his friends and his brothers have to always keep an eye on him because the guy is careless and young and he doesn't do shit besides having fun. At least he goes to school but it would be nice if he started to think about what he wants to do in the future. Sabo keeps saying college is a scam and it's all bullshit but he should try at least to study something else besides the basics because "Luf, the educational system is bullshit but for now it is what it is and I won't keep supporting you forever" and Ace just scoffs every time and says "Liar, you love supporting him" / "I would do it forever so he doesn't have to do anything besides being cute and free but grandpa would murder me". So for now Luffy doesn't do shit and keeps wondering what to do next, while Ace dropped out of high school and works as a mechanic in a workshop and plays the guitar and is the most average older brother in a teenage movie ever with his cool af tall boyfriend who comes and goes whenever he wants to (love you, Yamato) and the only thing he does is being cool.

And also I love Modern AUs because they're finally happy and living together and they don't have to worry about abruptly dying or anything. It's really nice.

#my beloveds #i keep thinking about them living together with garp's money and some help from makino and it makes me so happy #like them just being happy and having a nice calm life #doing taxes and laundry and shit #portgas d. ace #revolutionary sabo #monkey d. luffy #asl brothers #one piece #yamace

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meaningofaeons · 11 months

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Sampo with a reader who does metal music- and bonus if they have like this stern and angry personality 😍😍😍😍😍

tysm btw your works are really nice

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ hard rock

⊹ character(s) - sampo koski ⊹ word count - 954 ⊹ notes - gn!reader, reader is part of serval's band (implied to be more of a contract member than a permanent member tho), post-belobog storyline, reader is also implied to be friends w/ both serval and gepard

hi anon!!! thank you so much for the req, it sounded so fun I just had to do it right away! and thank you for the sweet words (₌♥ᆽ♥₌)

As someone who remains in the shadows—as said himself, "People like us are more suited to being shadowy comic-relief"—Sampo didn't exactly expect to get tangled up with someone who shined so brightly in the spotlight.

You were blunt, almost rude, with a fiery personality that clashed with plenty of people.

Sampo's... conman-styled disposition also clashed with people, sure, but not in the same upfront way yours did.

Needless to say, when you two first met, opposites did not attract.

"I've half a mind to go tattle to the guards now! 'Savior of Belobog' or not, I don't care!"

"Hey, heey! No need for all of that, huh, sweetheart?"

"Call me that again and you'll be scamming the demons in Hell next, you filthy leech!"

So maybe Sampo had tried to sell you a counterfeit electric guitar, and maybe you weren't quite as gullible as he thought you looked weren't interested.

Can't blame a guy for trying, eh?

But still, your reaction and intuition interested him somewhat.

Despite the situation with the Supreme Guardian and the Stellaron clearing his name a bit, Sampo was still pretty universally despised by the Silvermane Guards, and they still had it out for him

So walking around the Overworld wasn't quite the walk in the park he sometimes made it look like...

But still, he found himself considering paying more visits to the overworld Belobog, hopeful to catch a glimpse of you.

You, meanwhile, actually found yourself in the Underworld more often.

The people were less uptight, less noble, and far more able to take your rough and tumble personality.

Plus, there were far more enjoyers of the metal music you loved putting on shows for.

Sure, you'd still play with Serval in Belobog when she had a show going, but the Underworld was a different type of crowd.

However, more than once, you'd notice an unpleasantly familiar head of blue hair enjoying your performances.

So finally, you confront him.

"What are you doing here, Koski?" You'd heard plenty about him from Gepard by way of Serval.

"Aw, just coming to appreciate the beauty of your music!"

It was rather irritating how his eyes raked up and down your form on emphasis of "beauty".

"Aren't these free-for-all concerts? Can't blame a guy for trying to find some good entertainment down here, huh?"

"Just don't cause any trouble with my fans."

"But I'm also one of your fans, Y/N!"

Eventually, Sampo wormed his way into your company by way of sheer annoyance.

It didn't take long for you to become reluctantly used to his company, allowing him to hang out after concerts and show you the ropes of the Underworld.

He got on your nerves, but you tolerated him.

Sampo, meanwhile, enjoyed your presence a lot. You were rough around the edges, sure, but he saw that hidden sweet side occasionally.

As you put up with him, he started to grow on you, too.

A conman, sure, but he always repaid his debts just as he claimed. Not to mention, he was a pretty good audience member for your shows.

Though you still got on his case if he tried to scam you, you quite frankly scared him a bit.

Soon, sometimes, you'd pretend to go along with his scams. When you were quick to transfer him some credits for his latest scheme one time, it freaked him out so bad that he stopped trying his tricks on you.

In fact, he had showed up to your doorstep with a bouquet of flowers and a deeply nervous grin.

"H-Heey, Y/N! Sorry again about that... little misunderstanding with the product link, ahaha... I thought these might make it up to you!"

"Flowers? Really? Do I look like the flower-enjoying type?"

Please spare him... he's already at his wit's end.

"Take me out to dinner instead. Your treat."

Oh?

"Then maybe I'll forgive you for that little stunt."

Oh?

Sampo had had plans to ask you out formally, but you kinda beat him to it.

He honestly thought you'd be more difficult to catch.

"All thanks to my endless charm!" he would preach months into your relationship, to which you would bluntly remind him that he annoyed his way into your life, and that you were the one with more charm here.

After that night, it was clear to everyone that you and Sampo had begun dating. You were quite the odd pairing to most, though.

Gepard even asked you if he was extorting you or anything, and if you wanted him to beat Sampo up on your behalf.

But no. In fact, Sampo was quite a gentleman as a partner.

You didn't go on dates all too often, but he was always your loudest supporter at every concert.

He already took a real shine to your music, but after getting together, he had a newfound appreciation for your work.

You also taught him to play, though he wasn't the best at most instruments. His voice isn't too shabby, though.

You found yourself worming some lyrics into some of your newer compositions that had to do with him.

Somehow, it felt like the songs that were subconsciously about Sampo were a bit easier to write.

Serval took a habit of teasing you whenever your lyrics would get mushier than usual, and as though reflecting your hot-headed embarrassment, the next several lines would be loud and raging.

Still, Sampo appreciated what you did.

In spite of all his flaws and unsavory ways, you could at least be thankful for that.

Besides... running up prices on ticket resales to your shows was a way more lucrative business opportunity!

He got a smack over the head for that one, though.

#honkai #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai x reader #anon #sampo #sampo koski #sampo x reader #sampo koski x reader

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betrayalbracket · 1 year

Text

Welcome, one and all, to the very probably third or fourth ever betrayal bracket!

What is this bracket for, you ask? Simple! We're collecting all of the top 10 32? 48? 64? anime anything betrayals, and then pitting them against each other! All of your favorites. All of your least favorites. Love that guy? Send them in. Hate their guts? Great! Send them in anyways! However, before we get started, of course, we have to cover:

What counts as a betrayal?

A betrayal is, roughly speaking, any time a character acts against another character they claim to be allied with. A betrayal must be willful and conscious to count- if a character is under effects of mind control, being possessed, etc, they are not betraying anyone they act against. However, characters who have been manipulated into acting against their close ones do, for the sake of this bracket, still count- It is still them acting against their friends.

A character needn't be a villain to betray someone! If a hero or a protagonist infiltrates a villain group, pretends to be one of them, and takes them down from the inside, that is still a betrayal. Heroes can betray villains, villains can betray heroes, villains can betray villains, and heroes can betray heroes. Nothing is off the table here. Except, of course, for things that are off the table.

So what is off the table, then?

Any real people. This means the guy who scammed you on Animal Jam, the guy who said they would trim your armor on Runescape, any and all politicians, so on and so forth.

1a. If they're funny, I might consider it. What's funny? What's not funny? We'll see. As an example, though, I might be inclined to include, say, Brutus, of stabbing Caesar fame.

2. Spamming submissions. Just... don't. If you do, I'll steal your porch, ㅤokay?

3. Please, please, PLEASE when you're submitting someone, explain ㅤhow they have betrayed their allies. I live under a rock, so I most ㅤ ㅤlikely don't know. Yes, even that one. Yes, even the obvious ones. ㅤYes, even ones that are in my header. Thank you!

4. That's it! I might limit submissions from a single source if one ㅤㅤ ㅤsource has too many submissions, but for now I simply want to see ㅤwhat we can get!

How will the matchups be determined?

Great question! Matchups will be seeded by the amount of submissions each character gets. The characters with the most submissions will be pitted against those with the least submissions during round 1. This means that the first few rounds will largely be landslide victories, and not very suspenseful. However, it wouldn't be nearly as fun if Reigen vs Sans had been the first poll of the sexyman bracket, would it? We want the real competitions to come later, that's where all the suspense comes in handy!

Wow! What a fun bracket! How can I submit someone!

You can't!

Submissions are now closed. Thank you

Did anyone inspire this bracket?

Oh, absolutely! Our inspirations will be shown under the cut!

@time-traveler-tourney @mad-scientist-showdown @ultimatepinkboy @epicdivorcemantournament @they-are-so-gender @sleepsmackdown @affablyevilshowdown @yellowcharactershowdown @tricksterswagtournament @he-would-not-fucking-say-that @orangecharactersmackdown @autismswagsummit @evilfoundfamilytournament @tournament-winners-tournament @best-support-character @dragon-tournament @babygirl-beatdown @fictional-malewife-tournament @haterbracket@ultimate-tragic-couples-showdown @frogsbrackets @ultimate-rat-bracket @plural-swag-competition @pink-character-tournament @best-train-conductor-competition @servescuntcompetition @artificialkids-2k23-official @battleofthebandstournament @ponysongbracket @bestfictionaldivorce @stachebracket (We have a lot of inspirations, hope that's alright!

#tumblr bracket #tumblr poll #tumblr tournament #betrayal #betrayal bracket #betrayal tournament #tournaments #tournament #brackets #bracket #info

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quite-an-odd-fellow · 7 months

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Normal Oak-Swallows-Garcia-Marlowe-Lee-Wilson-Swift-The Unworthy, a not so Perky Peppy guy (spoilers through season 2, episode 44 of Dungeons and Daddies)

Will Campos is a brilliant role player, which was already evident from watching him play Henry, but to me Normal shines as the one that actually suppresses his emotions effectively, leaving him emotionally isolated.

Taylor never really tries to hide what he’s feeling, but even Scary and Link who do try to hide their feelings are usually pretty obvious about it anyway. Her tummy never hurt, she just wanted the attention. “Boss Kicks” is pretty clearly not a mature person who’s moved on from learning the truth about his father.

But Normal? He always backs down. Always lets it go. Puts on a grin, because he’s a mascot at heart and he at least needs a mask if he can’t be wearing the Teenie head. Everything gets pushed down so he can carry on with enthusiasm. He loves these people, because they’re his only friends and he can’t rely on his family. None of them really notice him, though.

Somehow perfectly reminiscent of Henry’s anxieties in a realistic generational way without playing into things too heavily, Normal is standing on the edge of a tightrope that’s always threatening to snap. He takes about a dozen punches to the trauma center of his brain throughout these adventures, from his father not being proud of him, to Taylor and Link bonding and becoming closer to each other while he’s left to the side, to Scary trying to sabotage everything he’s working towards, to Hermie rejecting him then immediately offering a date he doesn’t care about if he’ll kill Scam, you get the picture.

In the end, he tries so hard to get everyone to be close, happy, good, and better than their fathers that he sometimes crosses the line without realizing it.

In episode 44, he tries in his own way to bring Scary to a better place. He figures it’s a good idea for her to apologize to Tony Pepperoni, he felt guilty about their involvement, so surely Scary must want to get some of that weight off her chest too, she was the reason he died! Even if misguided, his heart was in the right place. Inevitably, he's met with anger and disdain from Link and Taylor, who never give him an inch.

What can he say, though? Lark and Sparrow don’t like the way he is. His ‘friends’ often don’t like the way he is, and they all partner up with each other without him. Hermie rejects him pretty harshly and then tries to use him to get with his 'better' friend/wife.

Nobody likes him, from his perspective. Honestly, from my perspective too. Link likes (crushes on? It feels that way to me) Scary the most, from how I see it. Taylor feels like his best friend, and Normal’s… his childhood friend that’s a part of the group? They aren’t the same kind of close.

Taylor is mostly just chaotically Taylor, but often butts heads with Normal’s ideals. He doesn’t really show any signs of caring. Even he focused in on Scary, although it was with negative feelings. He’s besties with Link and loves to get into shenanigans with him. But he never really pays attention to Normal, or has fun with him.

Scary I think actually does somewhat like Normal, but has been too in her own head to give thought to him. Clearly she opposed and was angry with him at her worst, but in lighter moments she actually sort of looked out for him in her own way. In the most recent episode, she clearly puts a bit more thought towards him than before now that he’s so obviously upset. Link is too, but it comes off more as guilt for now than concern. Unfortunately that’s kind of the only time she actually shows real thought towards him, and he’s already been pushed off the edge.

I’ve been waiting a long time for Normal to have his full breakdown. His sister is literally named Hero, she was made for this, not him. Nobody liked Teenie until Link danced in the costume. His friends aren’t actually his friends. His parents don’t even like who he is. He thinks he’s good for nothing.

So he throws on that crumbling mask, putting back on the shell he’d tried to break out of, and stews in silence. Hides because there’s nothing left holding him together but the tiniest thread of the mascot surrounding him keeping him from shattering.

It’s beautiful, and this season has absolutely knocked me on my ass.

Normal is such a well crafted lonely teenager who can’t seem to fit in. It’s why I think he was so connected to the Doodler. The Doodler is in his family’s blood, they all either desire it’s demise or were literally born to bring it about, but he empathized with it. Wanted to show it unconditional love, because that’s all he’s ever wanted. And even that connection is overshadowed by Scary’s connection with it.

This poor, poor boy. All of the cast has had great moments that made me feel like this too, but damn is he a well roleplayed teenager. I feel that gut punch every time he’s pushed to the side or laughs off his traumas like I was in high school all over again.

I absolutely cannot wait for the next episode, and am cautiously hoping that by the end of his arc we can see the kid be happy and know that he’s loved.

#dungeons and daddies #normal oak #scary marlowe #taylor swift #lincoln lee wilson #sparrow oak #lark oak #unhinged rant #seriously just me talking way too long about normal oak #will campos #beth may #matthew arnold #freddie wong #anthony burch #give the poor lad a break maybe

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 1 year

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Wrong Number (Part 2)

Summary: The reader has second thoughts about meeting up with Jensen in person until he comes up with a plan that works for them both...

Part 1

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 2,200ish

Warnings: language, previous bad marriage

A/N: Look what I found hiding away in my drafts!

By the time lunch had rolled around, you were wondering what the hell you had agreed to do that night. Fly to Austin? Meet a complete and total stranger?

Who knew if the guy even was who he said was? Maybe he was just some guy that had hacked you and was manipulating you and was going to drag you off to who knew where.

You were ready to text Jensen, or whoever he was, and tell him no way you were going, just as a call came in from him.

“Hello?” you answered, leaving your desk and ducking out the side door of the building.

“Hey, Y/N. Uh. About this weekend...can we reschedule? I really, really want to see you but Cati is moving some of her crap out of the house apparently and I’d really rather not get you involved with that basket of crazy.”

“Oh. Yeah, that’s totally cool. I uh,” you said, leaning back against the brick building. “I was actually going to call you and cancel before you got a flight for me.”

“Oh. I feel not so bad then. You get roped into work?” he asked. You very easily could lie and he was nice enough to not say anything. But a part of you didn’t like lying with him. You hadn’t so far and he was still there.

“No. I uh, got sort of nervous. Flying down out of the blue to meet a guy I’ve never met,” you said.

“It’s okay,” he said, voice gentler than you were expecting. “If I was you, I’d be pretty skeptical of me too. If you never want to meet, that’s okay. I’d never want to make you uncomfortable.”

“How do I know you’re real?” you asked. “That this isn’t some scam or something.”

“Next weekend there’s a convention in Dallas. How about I book you a flight for that, a hotel room and everything, get you hooked up with a badge and all that and Saturday night, if you like how the concert goes, we can go out on a date afterwards. Plenty of people around, I’ll stay away until you know I’m not pulling anything. How’s that sound?”

“What do you mean about the concert?” you asked.

“Well, you’re concerned I’m not really who I say I am, right?”

“I’m being stupid. I mean, I can tell by your voice that-”

“Ah, ah. You’re right. I went too overboard with the asking you to stay over my house thing. This is my do over. So, you tell me to wear something on Saturday night and when you see me with it on, then you’ll know it’s really me,” he said.

“Or we could just facetime?” you asked.

“Oh, come on. My way’s more fun and cheesy and romantic,” he chuckled.

“I can pick whatever I want?”

“Go for it,” he said.

“Alright. Let me think about it and I’ll text you the next few days,” you said.

“Alright. I guess I’ll see you next weekend then.”

“I guess you will, Ackles.”

One Week Later

“Hi,” you said, nervously tapping on a security guard dressed in a black suit on the shoulder. They looked down at you and your swallowed. You held up your badge like Jensen had told you to do earlier in the day and the guy talked into a radio for a moment before he waved you back.

Carefully you wandered into a back hall, someone showing you down to a back room. They stopped you outside of it and you paused, the person going inside. A moment later they exited, followed by Jensen, his face lighting up when he saw you.

“Hi,” you said.

“Hi. You are...fuck, you’re pretty,” he said. You smirked and he shared one of his own. “I pass the test?”

“I like your pink bandana,” you said, Jensen laughing as he pulled it from his back pocket.

“I so knew you were gonna pick something pink too,” he said, holding it out to you. “To be honest, I got a little nervous you weren’t real either.”

“Yeah well, I thought we decided you’ve been hurt enough lately,” you said. “No tricks.”

You tied the bandana around his wrist, Jensen smiling back at you.

“Let me say bye to my friends quick and then we can get out of here,” he said.

“Take your time,” you said. He ducked inside and was out less than thirty seconds later, clasping his hands behind his back. “So. What do actor rockstars do for first dates?”

“I could go for some dinner and a drink,” he said. “I know a good hole in the wall place. You like steak?”

“Who doesn’t?” you said.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you,” he said. “You enjoy the show?”

“Yeah. You’re not half bad,” you said. He rubbed the back of his neck and you swore you saw a bit of blush on his face. “So this place close by?”

“It’s probably a fifteen minute walk from here if that’s okay,” he said.

“Yeah. No problem. I’m not one for heels unless I know I’ll be able to sit,” you said.

“Really? I thought you worked in an uppity uppity office,” he said.

“I do. I kick them off under my desk constantly,” you said. “I wasn’t really sure what the dress code was so I stuck to the basics.”

“Basics are always a good bet,” he said, holding open the door for you, the cooler night air refreshing after being in the hot room the past few hours. “I dig the neon orange sneakers.”

“Thanks,” you said, taking off your badge and shoving it in your purse. He was quiet as you made your way to a street corner, waiting for the crossing light. “Jensen?”

“Hm?”

“We do know each other. Can we get over this awkward thing in the air?” you asked.

“Yeah. I’d much rather get back to teasing you over how you call heating frozen waffles cooking dinner,” he said. You rolled your eyes and he chuckled. “Even on 14 hour work days, I still made a meal.”

“Well I can’t cook. You knew that coming into this relationship,” you said.

“Oh, relationship?” he teased, getting a hip bump from you. “You’re hot. I can handle your bad cooking in exchange.”

“Such a guy,” you said, the light going green. You started to walk but Jensen held out a hand, a car rushing through the red. “Not used to a city.”

“You get used to it. I much prefer the suburbs for living,” he said, the two of you starting to walk again. “Weren’t you thinking about renting a small house instead of that apartment?”

“As much as I loathe the one bedroom, size of a shoebox place, it’s cheap. Houses are expensive,” you said.

“Yeah but it’s not in a great neighborhood. You work late sometimes. Isn’t there that skeevy guy outside always?”

“I’m not worried. I honestly will probably get a promotion to the New York City or LA office soon. I’m not killing myself for nothing,” you said.

“But do you like it?” he asked. “Being a financial spy.”

“Financial investigator,” you said with a laugh.

“Same thing,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know. I’ve worked the long days so I know they suck. But I got breaks and I love what I do.”

“Then why end the show?” you asked.

“Cause I love it and I didn’t want it to go to shit. Five years from now, they get in another writer, I’d sign on for a movie or miniseries in a heartbeat,” he said. “We’re just going on a break in my mind. Jared’s too. But I got another job lined up for the fall. Not everyday is perfect. No job is. But I do love what I get to do. I don’t know if I could do that with a job I hated.”

“When I was a kid, I wanted to be an architect. Then an engineer. Then a heart surgeon. Then I went to college for business and finance because it’s a safe bet. The world always needs those kinds of people,” you said.

“They need those other kinds of people too,” he said. “I guess even nerds have to love the finance jobs.”

“I sorta hate it,” you said.

“I know. You vent about it sometimes. Plus your boss sounds like a dick.”

“Don’t remind me. He was mad cause I used a single day of vacation time. Not like I have a gajillion hours saved or anything.”

“Would you ever go back? School?”

“I’ve been out of college eight years. No way would I survive another four.”

“I think you could. But I’ve never been so who am I to say,” he said. “You should take more time off.”

“Now you sound like my mom,” you laughed. “My parents have always owned their own business. I don’t think they quite get it.”

“Maybe not. Still. It’s good to take some time every once in a while,” he said. “You have to fly home tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Flight’s at 7:30. I gotta run after your panel,” you said.

“I feel like I made you come all the way out here for a few hours together,” he said.

“I’m enjoying the convention,” you said. “And the company.”

“Want to know how the show ends?” he teased. You whacked his shoulder and he laughed, a devilish smile on his face. “I can’t tell you that. I wouldn’t spoil it.”

“Yet you’re up for more. I wonder what that tells me,” you said.

“I’m also going to be taking more time off,” he said. “Try to have a lazy day every now and then.”

“Good. You work too much,” you said.

“So. You wanna take some time off with me?”

“I’ve known you for a grand total of seven minutes.”

“We’ve known each other more than two months. We talk every day. It’s been a lot more than seven minutes,” he said. You were quiet for a beat, Jensen’s hand bumping yours a few times before he curled a finger around yours. He slid his fingers through yours, lacing your hands together.

“I know I’ve said this a million times but you didn’t deserve what she did.”

“I know the cheating wasn’t my fault.”

“You know I’m talking about the other thing.”

“I know that one too,” he said. “I’m glad she fucked around to be honest.”

“Why?”

“Because I’d rather dump her before we got into the whole kid situation.”

“I thought she fucked that up with what she said and all.”

“She definitely tried. But I got a good lawyer and he found enough evidence to prove it wasn’t true. So we came to a deal.”

“Really? I hadn’t heard of that.”

“It happened this week when we finalized everything. As of Tuesday, I am 100% officially divorced. Yay,” he chuckled.

“She got the house, didn’t she,” you said.

“Actually, she didn’t get anything. I let her keep her stuff, like clothes and her car but that was it. She didn’t get a dime. It was part of our deal. Amazing how much you can keep when you have the threat of prison time over the other person,” he said.

“It still sucks you had to go through all of that,” you said.

“My sister says I was a sucker from the start. She always thought Cati was a bitch and I never got it until I caught what Cati was up to. Mac picked up on evil chick radar way better than I ever did apparently.”

“S’okay to be a sucker. It means you’re kind,” you said.

“I thought you never had a legit boyfriend you said.”

“I haven’t. Doesn’t mean I haven’t been a sucker,” you said.

“That guy the reason you never went and had one?”

“Pretty much. Much safer in your own personal bubble,” you said.

“True,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze. “Hard to find someone you trust to not just not hurt you but also somebody that makes you feel safe.”

“Cati ever do that for you?”

“No. I thought she did but I can tell the difference now,” he said. “I just started seeing this girl. I think I might trust her.”

“Oh? Well I can tell you she might trust you too,” you said.

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Quit that stupid job. Get out of that office and away from freaking Chad. I know it eats you up.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said. “Got any more cons for awhile?”

“Not for about two months,” he said.

“Maybe some weekend you could come visit,” you said with a shrug.

“Maybe next weekend,” he said, a big smile plastered on his cheeks. “If you’re free.”

“I am,” you said.

“Good. It’s a date then,” he said.

“Assuming this one goes well,” you said.

“How am I doing so far?”

“Pretty decent. I don’t want to give it away just yet.”

“And I’m the one that teases in this relationship. Right,” he said, slowing his walk as you approached a restaurant. “Ladies first.”

_______

#spn #supernatural #jensen x reader #spn series #jensen ackles #rpf #jensen x #jensen ackles fanfic #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfic #au

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disregardcanon · 3 months

Text

i'm thinking about a npmd the good place au and HOO BOY the ideas

it's a season 1 setup, with tinky as the architect of the neighborhood.

... good janets are petes and bad janets are teds. OUR pete is the neighborhood's pete and he's just kinda. trying to get by. shit's weird, guys. he doesn't remember how he got here and all his protocols have been messed up and the guy that took him isn't very nice. but this is- it's fine. it has to fine (there's no other choice.)

grace chastity is still adjusting to the idea that the christian god isn't real. she is not enjoying that very much, but she IS validated by the idea that her actions as a christian got her into The Place Where Good People Go. her actual exploits like mission trips and getting dances canceled and running abstinence camp are what are brought up during the Look How Cool We Are Welcome to the Neighborhood gala.

steph has been assigned to be her soulmate. she isn't supposed to be here. she's not like, an ABSURDLY bad person for anything, she just. was raised by solomon lauter. so she got the hell out of dodge after graduation and MAYBE she did some scams to get by after that. and like maybe she knows how to make a molotov cocktail and has used one once or twice. she certainly isn't The Best Person Who Did All These Things To Help the World and Support Great Liberal Causes that they keep saying she is. (she... wishes she was. though.) and these bible studies that her soulmate (soulmate???? THE FUCK) grace chastity keeps trying to force her to do so not to out her to the authorities as A Mistake Who Should Not Be Here. really aren't helping. (like come on. grace still insists that it's bad to be bisexual but look who her soulmate is? STEPH! so maybe steph knows more about how to adjust to this new world that little miss evangelist does)

ruth fleming is the first recorded case (according to tinky) of a Human Without a Soulmate in the history of humanity. just her fucking luck. she can't even get the robot guy to fuck her. ughgggghhh. you spend your life writing high quality erotic for lonely people and it gets you into heaven! but it doesn't even get you a partner. fuckin' rude

max jagerman doesn't think that he did anything wrong. he was the king of hatchetfield high, and then hatchetfield community college, and then he managed to fight his way to a backup quarterback spot on the jacksonville jaguars (this is the good place it will be the jaguars). and then! he's the REAL quarterback! if patrick ma-fucking-homes would just drop dead he'd be the most famous quarterback in the united states, thank you!

but when he dies... the guy doesn't tell him congrats on all the success. he doesn't even recognize that this is MAXWELL JAGERMAN! the quarterback who should be the most famous and well-respected in the united states. he makes some weird references to how... ambition... is... bad? and that those that hurt other people are... bad? says something about being a channel of peace or whatever? and that if this was a mix up then max is free to go to "drowsy town"? whatever the fuck that means.

so when he says "but you're not an ambitious bully that hurt others to get where you were! you're a super nice silent catholic monk who promoted peace on earth, right?" and max just.... stares.

"do you want to keep up your vow of silence? you can just nod." and max... does. because what the fuck do you say to that? shit shit shit shit shit shit FUCK

his "soulmate" is richie lipschitz, warrior for the sanctity of other people's art. why, if his youtube channel that makes fun of other people's bad art and takes and uses his fan base to come after much smaller creators isn't a net positive in the world, then what IS? some loser who doesn't understand anything complaining about the fascist implications of attack on titan on the internet? HA! (richie is disappointed that his soulmate isn't someone better, who likes him, but it was never going to live up to rei or asuka anyway. so he'll live)

he's the only one who knows max, and they went to high school together. max was the exact sort of bully that he was in canon. and it takes a LOT of sweet talk about how richie's the one who's actually supposed to be here to get him to stay quiet about the Max Actually Being an Awful Football Player and Not That Cool Silent Monk thing.

ruth and richie become friends through a series of sitcom tomfoolery. the sitcom tomfoolery is mainly Dragging The Poor Robot Into Playing Games and then Getting Mad That He's Better At The Games Than They Are. also ruth getting frustrated that the robot does not want to fuck her. (it's not because the robot does not want to fuck she's just not his type)

steph knows that she recognizes that silent monk guy from somewhere but can't quite put her finger on it, and she knows that something is VERY wrong here.

grace is developing a crush on her soulmate and does not know how to do that. (does being a soulmate count as marriage? is it actually bad to be gay when god doesn't even properly exist? did her actions matter since she wasn't serving a real god? what do you do with an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS IN THE AFTERLIFE?!?!?! ugh stomachache.)

max wants to figure out how to go back to being The Coolest Guy Ever, FUCK YEAH (he can't even shout go nighthawks or jacksonville jaguars, because he can't talk! it sucks!) but he knows that his soulmate Will Not Help. the guy, unreasonably, is still holding high school against him. and also everything else that max has legitimately messed up since then. (ha, it's almost like. consequences to your actions-) and then he meets grace chastity, biggest prude and most Sure of Herself in This Entire Place.

and he's in love <3 he prostrates himself in front of her and BEGS her to help him become "a good person" so that he can stay here. and grace is like i really don't have time for that i have to teach my own Secretly Shitty Soulmate the bible. and steph's like uh you can just. stop doing that. i'm really not interested-

and grace is like NO YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME YOU BEAUTIFUL CHARMING SEDUCTRESS! and steph's like ugh. did i finally cure this girl's internalized homophobia in time for her to just. not leave me the fuck alone? fuck

so a max who, in theory, wants to learn grace chastity's version of Good Personhood so that he can earn his spot here and become Coolest Guy in the Good Place, King of Good Place High, and mainly just wants to spend time with her and get her to like him, grace who is having a bisexual panic attack and also fighting off existential dread, and steph, who knows that there is something very very wrong here and that grace can't help her with morality but also. has not figured out what's wrong or who can. is just stuck here while the other two flirt and grace occassionally remembers to make googly eyes HER way instead of max jagerman's. who IS the famous football player. what a fuckin' world

steph starts trying to research What the Fuck Is Wrong Here, and realizes that max's soulmate, richie, and tragically unattached ruth are befriending the Robot with Godlike Knowledge. and she's like oh wow i could probably utilize that in my Research.

more sitcom shenanigans occur. grace and max stop noticing that their third wheel isn't attending bible studies and they become more and more them just dancing towards sexual encounters.

steph uses her con artist raised by a politician (other type of con artist) skills to notice more and more strange fuckery, as things with the world start spiraling further and further out of control.

"you're pretty funny. you know, for a robot."

"not a robot."

"then what are you, exactly?"

"... a spankoffski?" and steph feels really bad for laughing.

she gets figured out as Not Who She Appears to Be and has to go through this big long contrived process to get to stay in the good place instead of getting shipped off, and it just seems... like so much. they bring up reps from the bad place and the stakes seem so contrived.

ruth and richie shenanigan together by Trying to Find The Swinger Soulmate Pairs while steph tries to figure out why, exactly, nothing feels real. and it feels less real when the walls start to enclose and she might be getting removed from the good place entirely.

the bad place representatives show up: another weird guy with another weird name and his own robot.

the bad place even has their own version of pete- a weird, horny bastard who won't answer anyone's questions and just complains the whole time. but why would that demon that they brought up be... willing? to let them cut a deal? why does their architect seem... weirdly chummy with them? they act almost the same, treating their robot right hands with the same amount of... callous contempt. perhaps the Ted "deserves" it, but-

... why isn't tinky kind to pete? pete might not be HUMAN, but he's still... sentient. he has thoughts and feelings and he's her favorite company in this godforsaken place- and tinky is supposed to be the creator of a place that's good and just.

what exactly are their numbers indicating? why is everything so confusing and bullshit and-

she runs out to the lake, just to clear her head. sit by the water and watch. she pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them.

"hey pete?" she asks. the well-dressed robot materializes beside her. sitting cross-legged.

"everyone has... points, right? that's how they figure out if you go to the good place or the bad place?"

"that's correct."

"who has the most points here?"

"you."

steph chuckles. "good one, spankoffski. i didn't know you could joke on purpose"

he tilts his head in confusion. "it wasn't a joke."

"i- what?"

"there are only 5 sets of numbers here. yours is the highest. it's been going up steadily ever since you got here."

steph just stares. "pete, there can't- there's hundreds of people here. why would only 5 of us have numbers?"

"only humans have numbers," he says simply. and oh god, oh fuck, oh shit-

"how did you get here?" she asks softly.

he looks thoughtful for a moment. "i... don't remember."

so steph gathers up the five other humans and they break their way into tinky's office, pete in tow.

and he's like "huh. what are you all doing here together?"

the other four humans are still confused, but steph is a forceful personality and convinced them this was the only way to fix things.

"go ahead and send me to the bad place," steph says, "i thought about it, and i don't want to keep making things so HARD on all of you. i was soooo selfish in life, but i don't want to keep that up."

tinky looks anxious. "oh steph, you aren't a burden."

she smiles. "but i thought i wasn't even supposed to be here?"

"we've made it work," tinky promises.

steph laughs. "i don't think so. this show reminds me what my dad would do, when he wanted to seem like he was fighting for something politically that he already had set up. it's all a show, right?"

tinky grins tightly. "i don't know what you mean."

"you're not sending me to the bad place, because i'm ALREADY THERE!" she declares. the other humans gasp. pete looks unfazed.

tinky blinks. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"there are only 5 sets of numbers here," steph says, "and guess whose is the highest? MINE! and i'm not even supposed to be here."

"two clerical errors? really?" steph demands.

"things happen," tinky says.

"and the three that got here fair and square?" steph asks, "we have a self-righteous church girl, a bullied youtuber who started bullying people himself, and an erotic writer. of teacher/student!" steph laughs, "come on, you're telling me that THOSE are the best humanity has to offer? and that max and i both just so happpenneeddd to end up here? in error?"

tinky grits his teeth. "no one else here is even human. if they were, they'd act like it. and they'd have numbers. but they don't."

"this is our own little nightmare realm that you cooked up to torture us."

then tinky laughs, maniacal and goat-like.

"wait," grace whispers, "i'm not... a good person?"

"NO!" tinky cackles, "that was the fun! but now... someone's ruined it for all of us. we're going to have to reset everything now. are you happy, stephanie?"

she frowns. "reset?" tinky snaps his fingers, and the humans pass out on his floor.

"i'm not supposed to be here," pete says, looking with wide eyes over to the passed out humans.

"ugh," tinky says, "RESET!" and not-a-robot not-a-boy spankoffski resets too.

he has another chance at this. and another. and another. and another. and another- however many it takes to get this right. and he WILL get this right, after all. he has all the time in the world.

#hatchetfield #npmd #npmd aus #grace chastity #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #jagertity #lautski #lausity #lautity #tgp

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