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brotrustmeicanwrite · 3 months

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In what ways do you actively seek inspiration and creativity to fuel your writing?

To be completely honest I’m the type of writer who got lucky in that department (severe untreated adhd). So 95% of the time I don’t have to actively seek out inspiration in order to write and instead the ideas try to assault me when I’m just peacefully walking down the road, minding my own business.

(btw yes I made this comic just to answer the question)

However there are still clear common origins of my ideas. So instead of giving advice that I don’t even use myself, I think the best I can do is show these origins and the little bit of active work I do put into finding inspo and hope this will still help those trying to seek inspiration.

The Origin Of Ideas

- (unconventional and honestly deranged) creative writing advice -

“I want to write a story about …”

Pics that burned themselves into my retinas and now live rent free in my brain‘s crevices

Throwing characters at each other like we’re smashing action figures together

“I want to write a story about … “

When I see other writers trying to come up with ideas, this is the kind of approach I see most often. It’s the only technique I use where I have to actively sit down and look for ideas and inspiration. Personally I don’t really like it, as it usually doesn’t lead me anywhere even near a working story. But that doesn’t mean this approach is inherently bad or that it isn’t just one that doesn’t fit specifically my personal way of thinking. As a matter of fact, the main project I’m working on right now is a result of doing exactly this. And originally just as a joke on top of that.

Using my own project “Mirrors Of Sands (MoS)” as an example I’ll show how I came up with ideas and inspiration for the story.

So, MoS originated from a comment I saw under yet another one of the 100s of generic reincarnation/ regression villainess manhwa I was reading around a year ago.

“Writers really only can write the same generic regression villainess bs nowadays.”

Along those lines. When I read that line I noticed that, despite ’villainess reincarnation’ having been the only thing I had been reading for months at that point, and also me being a writer, the thought of writing a story like that never even crossed my mind. So I decided to do it just for shits and giggles.

-> „I want to write a story about a villain regressing in a vaguely medieval noble European setting.“

So the most basic part of the inspiration for MoS obviously came from the media I enjoy, but what about beyond that? This is the part I personally don’t like about the „I want to write about“ approach. Most of the time when i decided to write a story about a specific thing or concept in the past, I ended up looking towards similar media and unconsciously imitating it, creating a cheap and soulless copy that I didn’t even like myself.

Because of this, when I decided to write MoS, I sat down and consciously made a list of all the tropes that these types of stories had in common and marked down which of them I liked enough to actually keep and which ones I wanted to change and why. This approach is quite theoretical as you can see, but it allowed me to get a clear picture of everything I actually wanted to write and gave me the opportunity to see clearly, from the very beginning, in which direction I wanted to take the idea away from the parts that I didn’t like.

If you think about it, this approach is kinda similar to a lot of headcanons in fanfiction in the sense that we take a pre-existing concept and actively adapt it in ways that we like more than the original.

Pics that burned themselves into my retinas and now live rent free in my brain‘s crevices

Almost all of my stories originate from a single scene that just randomly spawns in my head out of nowhere one day, usually based on some random thing I saw or heard months (if not years) earlier.

To give an example: the imagery of Yuu Otosaka from Charlotte jumping in front of of the moon is a really cool visual that first gave me the idea of a scene, where character A jumps from rooftop to rooftop in front of of the moon, just like Yuu, while being chased by some sort of organisation. Meanwhile character B witnesses it from below while walking down an alley and is immediately mesmerised by character A‘s grace and elegance.

This tiny, seconds long scene, that’s quite certainly been done before, evolved and changed over the years into 3 full, completely separate stories. One revolving around romance, one around A being an outlaw and the society that caused that and another about supernatural shenanigans. They could have been one story, but this one tiny idea gave me so much material to work with that I ended up dividing it up, simply because there was not enough room in a coherent story for all of it.

Now, I’m aware that my brain spitting out ideas like this is a result of it being extremely hyperactive due to severe 100% untreated adhd, so obviously not everyone can work like that. However, I believe that this pop up effect can be imitated even if you don’t have a brain that lets every cool pic you’ve ever seen live rent free in there, while the important stuff can’t afford the lease.

So here’s what I would do: get a journal and write down as much stuff, that could potentially inspire you as possible, whenever you encounter it. For me it’s scenes from media I enjoy, for you it might be poems, songs, a person you encounter, a rumor you overheard or anything else that you like. Alternatively/ additionally make a Pinterest folder and collect cool pics on boards with a specific theme. You could have an action scene board, a kiss during a winter ball board, a late night cooking board, a board about absolutely anything that you might think could possibly be even the tiniest bit inspirational to you some time later.

If you do that you’ll build yourself an easy to access collection that you can then go through at a later date when you need an idea. It’s no guarantee of course but maybe one of those things will spark the same way as that one random frame from an anime that I had watched in 6th grade did for me.

Throwing characters at each other like we’re smashing action figures together

Im sure you know what I mean with „smashing action figures together“ but when it comes to doing this with characters this might sound a bit weird. But I mean that sentence quite literally.

I guess this could technically also double as a writing exercise but sometimes when I’m bored, I like to take random characters or even just vague ideas of characters and put them in situations where they have to interact with each other. They can be OCs or characters from any media that you like in whatever situation you want. We’re essentially playing dolls in our head.

The goal of this „exercise“ is to play with character dynamics that I usually don’t write and I’ve had some really interesting ones develop from this in the past. In those cases my own ideas then became the inspiration for a completely new story or scene.

At the end of the day, to properly answer the question, most of my inspiration comes passively from all of the media that I consume and enjoy so I usually don’t actively seek out inspiration to fuel my writing. However I do hope that my little rant here may help one of the 10 people who are gonna see this post.

Happy Writing <3

#it’s past 2am so not sure how coherent thenpost is but oh well #as always ignore my grammar #english is my 3rd language #and i do not know how punctuation works here #writers on tumblr #writing #oc #writer problems #writer on tumblr #authors of tumblr #tumblr writers

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mermaidsirennikita · 1 year

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ARC Review: The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe

5/5. Releases 1/24/2023.

For when you're vibing with... Enemies to lovers, duke in the streets/freak in the sheets, Sagittarius-coded heroines, rough sex, and lines so romantic they'll make your heart grow three sizes.

Once upon a time, there was a romance series, and it was a great romance series (one of my favorites, easily). And in the first book, The Heiress Hunt, you got the rare legitimately compelling friends to lovers moment--but who stood between the friends (who became lovers)? The hot, perfectly coiffed, gentlemanly Duke of Lockwood (Fuckwood). Rather conspicuously during this novel, the heroine's best friend, bon vivant girl about town Nellie, was all, "You should not marry the Duke of Lockwood!!! He's the worst!!! Why? I shall not elaborate!!!"

And so, for the next book, The Lady Gets Lucky, Lockwood romanced another heroine in the hope of getting dollar princess dollars. But lo, he was cucked. Again. In the third book he didn't even try, but he still sort of got cucked, because why not? That's hilarious. But throughout the series, you get these little hints and asides that suggest that while Lockwood and Nellie hate each other, they really hate how much they want to absolutely rail the fuck out of each other.

Thus, we get The Duke Gets Even.

Truly, I don't know that I've ever been as excited about a romance release as I am about The Duke Gets Even. I was practically campaigning for an ARC of this book. And I have no regrets, even though I don't think that campaigning mattered much, because I have read this book several times since I got the ARC, and it is glorious.

There's something about a great historical romance series--wherein all the books do stand alone, but when read in sequence, you get these great tidbits of how a happy couple is doing, or who might come next. The Fifth Avenue Rebels has been great in this sense, giving us several parallel stories that all spin off of the same wild Newport house party (and building a core group of friends that I love). But undoubtedly, the couple that Joanna Shupe has been teasing the entire time is Nellie and Lockwood--a spitfire rich girl with a keen sense towards reproductive justice, and a seemingly uptight duke who needs to marry an American heiress in order to secure his estate's future. Reading previous books (which again, isn't necessary but is fun, not least of all because they're just good books) you know that Nellie has actively campaigned against this man getting with any of her friends. Now we see why. And we also get a love story that is less about his worries over her reputation, regardless of what the setup may make you think... and more about Nellie's fears of emotional intimacy and what an uncertain future with Lockwood (government name Andrew, I'll add) could hold. Trust and believe: the man is all in with her quite early in the book--while Nellie's journey really imitates a traditional historical romance hero's journey. God, Joanna Shupe's brain.

Quick Takes:

--Yes, this book is hot as fuck. Yes, he's a bit of a freak. To get it out of the way: Lockwood likes rough sex. Fortunately, Nellie also likes rough sex! He's into biting her and leaving bruises, she's into scratching him and drawing blood. There's a wonderful moment when he promises to ~stick to the outside~ because of previous exertions that lives rent free in my head. While I would say the sex in this book is very intimate and vulnerable and oftentimes emotional, I wouldn't say that it's like... "He parted my tender petals" sex. Which, like--is why Joanna Shupe, in my opinion, writes some of the best sex scenes in historical romance. Easily. The sex Nellie and Lockwood have feels authentic to who they are and their relationship.

--So much water in this book! I love a motif. Nellie and Lockwood meet in the water; swimming is an important part of life for him; they bond over her dad letting him use the indoor pool (Cornelius Young, my brother in CHRIST, setting these two up for naked pool shenanigans... He said "If my daughter's gonna have wild sex in inappropriate locations, I'd rather it be with a gentleman who adores her"). Lockwood's always like "Nellie is a beautiful winsome mermaid, I find that so annoying".

--I love that much of the emotional crux of this book does surround Nellie's love of women and her desire for a maternal figure. She does have one, but the loss of her mother is still acute, and that felt very emotionally authentic to me. Also: there is an amazing undercurrent of being the last single woman in your group of beloved female friends, and how lonely that can be, and oof--I've never read that in a historical in a manner that isn't about the woman wanting to get married, but the woman feeling isolated from her friends, and stunted somehow. Hit me real hard.

--I feel like it's important to say that this book is obviously very timely. Nellie does crusade for women's rights, and she has had an abortion in the past and has zero regrets about it. She distributes birth control to women who really fucking need it (that is: women who don't have the money to get it through illicit channels like Nellie and her friends do). It's very well done, and while I anticipated Nellie's activities putting her into conflict with Lockwood... They really don't? Not in the way you're thinking, at least.

--There is a lot of interesting "here's what a duke actually was in society by this point" shit, which I found hilarious and a great takedown of the "all powerful duke" in historical romance. In many ways, Lockwood is very alpha and take charge and everything you want from a historical romance hero. But also, the conceit of his entire plot since day one has been that he is BROKE. And he's in America! He's basically a fun little party guest! With no money! He came to the States with his title, his massive cock, and a dream.

--The dirty talk in this novel? The amount of times he'd just call her "darling" after instructing her to do a sex thing? "I'm going to cover you in bite marks, darling"???? There's such a fun back and forth in the dialogue between these characters. You definitely get filled in on the time that's passed over the previous three books, and how Nellie and Lockwood have been dealing with their shenanigans in the background of the other love stories. It leaves you with two people who aren't friends but do know each other quite well, and can't resist the urge to dig at one another.

--I love Nellie so much. Easily a top heroine for me. (Who does in fact get on top.) But I will say that Lockwood's inner monologue was just... fabulous. The amount of times this man would just be like "WELP. ONCE AGAIN THE WORLD IS HERE TO SHIT ON ME" when he wasn't just rhapsodizing over Nellie? Honestly, a relatable king.

--There is a thing in this book that did yield a moment and a love confession in which I did tear up, and I'm kind of impressed by how Shupe to chose to leave it. Like, I know how I'm interpreting shit, but--especially considering a recent discussion on romance Twitter--I found it intriguing.

This is just what I wanted it to be--a good dose of enemies to lovers, a man who's butt crazy in love, and a woman who can't deal with it. Also, the kinds of ridiculously hot sex scenes that only Joanna Shupe can deliver. God bless. I couldn't recommend it more.

Thank you to Netgalley and Avon for giving me a free copy of this book exchange for an honest review.

#arcs #netgalley #book recs #books #book reviews #romance novel blogging #this book is gonna be one of the top historical romance drops of the year and it comes out in jan!!!!!#OBSESSED!!!!!!!!

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rovermcfly · 1 year

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not that anyone asked for it but here's my Thunderheart novelization thoughts

also the sheer amount of micro-aggressions, especially from cooch. there is a lot of influence from the 4th script draft still in there. at this point I'm surprised they didn't include even more in the movie than they already have. racism in general is, probably realistically so, much more directly expressed.

I'm surprised by some of the differences to the movie, especially Ray's characterisation as pretty hot-headed and short-fused, especially giving Cooch lip from the start. Also the additional details like his growing up on the rez, trying to erase that from his file, all that was pretty bold. the movie seems to suggest a backstory of him being entirely out of touch, never having grown up around his own people and only knowing his father but choosing to erase his memory from his mind (but not to the point of erasing him from his file. his disdain seems more passive, less aggressive. like he thinks if he forgets and denies it will just go away), but just in general chooses ambiguity.

novel Walter is 💯💯🔥🔥 absolutely adore the way he's written. the same snark as movie walter but with much more of a touch of profoundness. "The expression in Crow Horse's eyes reminded Ray of Grandpa Reaches, sad and gentle and far-seeing all at the same time." is my favourite way that side of him is described. and I thought I loved him in the movie already, but the lines they wrote for him in the novel absolutely blew me away. I think they probably wouldn't have worked so well and felt too inauthentic on screen but some of them live very rent free in my mind. I'd die for novel walter.

I do like that it canonises that ray hears the drums and it's really significant. the soundtrack and sound design is one of the movie's strongest features, especially in marking all these significant moments. so having them be a part of Ray's visions is really nice.

What I really disliked is the way Maggie is described all the time. It is important for the movie that she has dignity and power and is not sexualised or otherwise a caricature. I understand she's pretty and mentioning that when first describing her, but the constant objectification is really just disgusting and yet another form of violence that Native women are constant victims of. It really really took away a lot of the good for me, she should've been treated with respect. this way the novel just perpetuates what the story takes a stand against. And I know it's supposed to be mainly Ray's POV but nobody forced them to write it that way.

I also found the Stronghold standoff very anticlimactic in the novel, when it's one of the strongest scenes in the movie. it was just lacking for some reason, too much talking and yet no clear stance and statement was made, overall the impact of the moment just wasn't there.

Overall I liked the novelization. It's about as captivating a read as the movie is captivating a watch. It clearly adapted more than just the film, taking several elements from earlier versions of the script. There were parts that, to me, deviated too much from the movie, making it feel like a different story, but as such it was overall good. Especially Ray feels like a different character in many ways. I still think the movie has a certain edge the novel lacks. Not sure how enjoyable a read it would be for someone doesn't already love the movie, but if you liked it it's a nice kinda alternate version to enjoy if you want more.

It's available to read for free on archive.org

#thunderheart

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seesgood · 8 months

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The door us already unlocked when she gets there. Picked, she's guessing --- unless this guy is really that much of an idiot. Nevertheless, by the time Caroline shoulders her way quietly in and peruses the scene before her, she knows that this evening's job didn't go quite as planned. If it had, she wouldn't be here. If it had, she would have gotten a slightly less grumpy text from her boss and she wouldn't have brought the big bucket of cleaning supplies that is now landing on the ( very bloodstained ) rug with a soft thump. The body ( if it can even be called that anymore ) is still a few feet away, head pulverized in, figure barely recognizable. ❝ Basher indeed. ❞ Caroline mutters to herself as movement catches her attention in the doorframe leading to what she knows is the kitchen ( she's the one that found the blueprints for the place, and then sweet-talked the contractor into giving her a tour of the newly renovated flat two weeks ago so she could take pictures for the boss ).

Caroline's gaze starts at his shoes, noting the few blood spatters there and new scuff marks, slowly starting her perusal upwards as she tugs on her daisy patterned cleaning gloves. There's more blood on his pants, his shirt is ruined beyond what her stain-removal skills can fix. His arms --- toned and tanned and just flexed enough that her stomach flutters at the veins there --- have several new scratch marks on them. By the time she gets to his face, she already knows the look she'll get. Exhausted. Grumpy. Tired. And ( when she's feeling just a bit more delusional and pathetic ) a look that might almost be affection or relief at the sight of her.

❝ Susan called. ❞ Caroline states casually, reaching up to tie her hair back as she steps around the growing blood pool. ❝ Said you haven't been texting her back. Oh! And I got a new stash of body bags ordered from that guy I know. They're the good kind, no more leaking this time, I swear. ❞ There's a disconcerting smear of blood on his throat and it pulls her attention to the taught muscles there for a moment and Caroline swallows. ❝ I take it tonight didn't go as planned. ❞ Somehow, her eyes have involuntarily traced down the line of his arm, following patterns of ink and settled on the blood on his hands and the few new splits in his knuckles. The now familiar mantra repeats so insistently in her head that she's worried it might pass through her lips one of these days. Blood isn't sexy. Her boss covered in blood is not sexy. Blood covering her boss because her boss just killed someone with his bare hands isn't sexy. ❝ Do you want staged, disappeared, or disposed of just well enough that he'll be found in a few months and they'll need dental records? Otherwise I've got this new person at the crematorium --- she's super cool, goth but super chic, I'm thinking of trying to set her up with Bonnie --- she doesn't ask questions and she's very accepting of bribes. ❞ / @polymusepotion + because it's living rent free in my head and i needed an outlet.

#polymusepotion

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stuckasmain · 1 year

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Trick or treat- songs meaning and possible over analyzing

Another thing I love about the movie is it’s kick ass soundtrack and that all the songs go along with whatever is happening on screen. For example “get tough” plays while Eddie confronts the bullies during the first revenge act or “Tear down the walls” while he literally tears all the posters off of his walls in a fit of teenage angst. It’s just a fun element that movies just don’t do- mainly because everyone gets popular songs instead of making a score and soundtrack but that’s a whole other conversation for another time.

Now I’ve made it no secret that Sammi lives rent free in my head after watching this movie and I’m making it everyone else’s problem. For a horror movie antagonist, he actually does get quite a lot of character especially with what few lines he actually gets. However, like always , I tend to dig way to deep into what we have to do character study and I think his pivotal song actually gives a LOT about him away.

Shocking Halloween performance-

Ok so hopefully we’re all in agreement that the song fucking rules but besides that… I think the song reveals the things the movie forgot to touch on after introducing them fairly over on. That beating Faust and that he “believes his own hype”

Maybe you'll see

Someone's put a spell on me

These lyrics repeat multiple times in the song and I think it’s basically a call for help without being a call for help. A clear “I’m not entirely in control of my actions here”, as later in the number when he starts firing lightning in the crowd it’s not started intentionally. It is going to hard on a solo, losing control. Lost in the music ™️ only after does there start to be intent. However Sammi seems much more intent on having a captive audience than a crispy one.

This is where I bring up Faust as it’s literally the first fucking few lines on the movie. Are directly ripped from a poem or production then it’s never once brought up again? And it is not referring to Sammi and Eddie as Ed 100% has free will here. The moment things turn deadly he drops the friendship and fights against him. Sammi on the other hand… oh dies in a random hotel fire and kid has satanic ritual related dreams? Oh yeah. Everything we learn through the TV special and Nuke points to Sammi being a wild child, publicity and fan obsessed rocker. I can see and he likely did Cut a deal with at least something - to be able to play and be popular forever. At the cost of his soul.

Rock and roll

Rockin' on a midnight

Take control

Sammi isn’t personally interested in souls at all. From every other scene the only people he kills are assholes or anyone against him. He’s a revenge kill kinda guy not a bunch of randos at a party guy- ESPECIALLY loyal fans. I think the party scene was probably on the demonic side , using him to fill a quota. As getting out of owing his soul by Eddie bringing him back means something, someone is die to take his place. He wants control. He wants fans- practically a army. He wants the stage! Hocus Pocus so got the captive crowd inspo from this Lmao.

His motivations are to spread his last album so he can’t be destroyed, to get revenge, and to play forever. I’m by no means saying he’s a “good” guy or that he wouldn’t kill if he had a choice… as we see him get several personal kills in/people who are in his way. Just that, there’s something else at play besides him during this scene particularly/he doesn’t kill without reason(flimsy reason but reason).

Final chase-

Firstly After midnight is basically “hee hee hoo hoo I’m gonna get you” but a song. It’s kinda hysterical. As fastway’s music is Sammi’s in universe so imagine efnodehioefhdeioheduhdjoi just singing as he goes after you. I can’t.

Gonna hunt you through the night, yeah

You got it

I want it

Pretty soon he's gonna change his tune now

Something about “he’s gonna come back to my side. I know he’s gonna. He has to.” Man give it up - Eddie’s not.

“Hee hee hoo hoo I’m going to get you and shock you” he’s a massive dork actually.

Conclusion-

I just think it’s much more interesting because he has personal motives and a lust for power but it’s at a pass with him owing his soul and the interest of the higher power he owes it to. How he’s forced to act outside of his own wants. Infinite power and a plan and he’s forced to do work instead of what he wants- which is at conflict with his anti man image etc. Like how he wants an audience, fans, praise etc and Hell wants a replacement for his dodging. I’m hoping this makes sense

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daxieoclock · 2 years

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Give me one favorite quote for each of the phantom thieves! >:3c

thank you for the ask! i'llll give a couple favorite quotes i think, where appropriate. this game has a whole lot of really phenomenal dialogue at times djhfbgbhj

Ren: "Checkmate." - one of his like only four voiced cutscene lines in p5 the game. really fucking good. "Nice to work with you, Ryuji!" - fucking amazingly charming little exchange from the p5 anime where ann playfully blows off ryuji, who gets grumpy about it, to which ren immediately chimes in. it's so fun and cute and full of personality.

Morgana: "We are the Phantom Thieves, and we're here to take your bride!" - great line, definitely should have been haru's and not his, but it's still fantastic. "I want to stay here forever!" - morgana coming clean right before he returns to the thieves legit makes me tear up. it's such a wonderful scene and this line lives rent free in my head.

Ann: "I will rob you of everything!" - final line of her awakening cutscene and it STILL gives me chills. "He called me pretty lady :D" - hearing this during Jose's introductory scene in royal made me laugh so hard i almost choked. it was so fucking funny and cute and just jdhfbgjhbj g-d. ann getting happy cause this tiny little baby boy was nice to her, just makes me grin.

Ryuji: "There's a place for you here too. Right next to me." - the chariot 9 confession scene that never was. g-d. canon ryuji has it fucking rough, crushing on a guy who is Contractually Obligated to be heterosexual. anyway this scene is great and this line is great. "Stop looking down on me with that stupid smile on your face!" - another awakening line that just fucks so incredibly hard. it's really good shit.

Yusuke: "No matter how often I may lose my way or stumble on our path...I will always return." - Yusuke's third semester awakening scene was probably the only section of his canon characterization that i really liked? but boy howdy was it good. it was REALLY good.

Makoto: "Don't get all cocky because I normally behave myself. I am DONE playing nice." - yet ANOTHER awakening line that fucks severely.

Futaba: It's impossible to pick one specific line for this slot but I'll just say every single line Futaba has in P5S between battles and for treasure and stuff. She's a constant delight, literally throws out meta references to the series' MUSIC "Bring on the mass destruction!" "Wanna give 'em a last surprise?" it's fucking amazing djhfbgjh. and her MENU lines??? she makes autistic noises every time you open her part of the menu!!! biggest grin

Haru: I've said some of my favorite haru lines in a previous ask today but if i had to pick a specific line i liked from her cool moments in Scramble... "No matter how many times you fall, you can always get back up and start again!" - throwing mariko's own words back at her, giving the same pep talk mariko gave her when she was a child. it's sweet and cliche and i love it.

Kasumi: "You're telling me I'm not cutting it? As if I don't know that better than anyone!" - another awakening line that gives me such fucking chills aaaaa g-d. so fucking good. Laura Post did fucking AMAZING with this.

Akechi: Honestly, the entirety of the boiler room scene could go here. I don't think I could quote it by heart or anything, but it's damn close to that level of rent-free djhfbgjhb. Especially "So how!? How can someone like you have something I don't!?" fucking kills me every time. g-d. insane in the brain.

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readingshenaniganss · 2 years

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Monday Review:

Starting Pride with a bang, I read One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston. Well, I actually read it the last day of May, but shhhh, I'm counting it.

This book was phenomenal. It was fantastic, and cute, and wonderful, and lovely, and every other word that in any language that could indicate I loved this book. It was just perfect.

The story is about August Landry as she moves to New York after transferring universities and majors. She's not sure about her roommates but it's the cheapest room available. She's not sure about her program but maybe third time's the charm. She doesn't know what she's doing at her new job and hopes she doesn't get fired in the mean time. But she does know one thing.

She has a huge crush on Subway Girl. Like, 'imagine putting Ikea furniture together' levels of crushing.

But a random photo brings August to question just who this girl is and where she comes from. Or more precisely, when.

This book was everything, and I mean everything. August and Jane have such great chemistry together that it was always fabulous to see them interact. In fact, the entire cast had great chemistry with each other and I was never waiting for the story to change which characters we saw.

August, while a little brusque for me at first, I warmed up to pretty quickly. I really appreciated seeing her growth throughout the book because it felt natural and didn't stem 100% from the lover interest. Her friends are a major part of her journey and help her open up to loving trusting others, even if she might get hurt, because they let her know that they'll be there to catch her when she falls.

Jane was great. She's charming, and dashing, and feels so alive she could jump out of the page to start a dance party in your house. But she also has such painful depths, and as we discover with her the ups and downs she's been through, we see the pain she feels knowing she's stuck in some weird time prison while everyone she knew has grown old and and moved on from the point she's trapped at. We see her go from frustrated not knowing who she is, to agonized over the knowledge that those she loved are gone, with complete lives she never got to see.

And for the rest of the cast is just-*Chefs kiss*

So I'm just going to get this out of the way, Niko owns my whole ass heart. He is great, and I love him, and he can do no wrong ever.

Below are several lines from him that live rent free in my head. To those who have read the book already, yes, they are all from the same scene and I make no apologies.

Like, I'm obsessed. There's nothing else I can say but that this non-toxic goth psychic has my heart.

Myla is also wonderful. She's just this positive force that keeps on going and reminds August that times get tough but you have to get through them anyway. I also really appreciated that August and Myla didn't have a whole melodramatic fight just for the sake of one. I had been worried about that with the trust issues August started with and Mylas' insistence upon August being her friend that there would be a blow up, but there wasn't one!!!

Wes is the quiet introverted roommate who has the social skills of a giraffe on ice. He mainly shows up to give vibes of 'why am I here?' and honestly, relatable. I really liked him here because he acts as a mirror to August. Both have issues with letting people in with their backgrounds and can sort of commiserate with each other their struggles. It gave depth to their relationship that could have been overlooked, but instead created a couple of beautiful moments as they both deal with their emotions.

And then Isaiah are just a fucking delight. Isaiah, drag name Annie Depressant, is a brilliant star every time when on page. I want to go to one of his brunches and get drunk with him. And he's so easy goin. 'Hey, we're breaking into a bar to do a séance, want to come?' Sure! 'Hey, going to help cover their asses as they do and Ocean's Eleven style heist to save Jane from her subway time capsule?' Absolutely!

There are a few more characters in the background, like Augusts' mom, her boss and her coworkers. While they don't really play a bigger part in the book, to say they do nothing to the story is just a huge oversight. Casey does a outstanding job of weaving everyone together so that, while the plot of the story doesn't necessarily revolve around their actions, leaving out the interactions leaves a hole where they were. Their relationships to August add the faintest sketch lines to create a more detail painting and in doing so creates a masterpiece.

One thing that I also really enjoyed seeing was just how young everyone was, how young they all sounded. All of the main cast felt so young, it didn't feel like an author trying to figure out how you sound in your early 20's, it was an author who knew how you sounded, and the choices to made, and the humour you have. When Wes was complaining about the trains and said 'But go off I guess' I was startled into laughter. One, cause I forgot about that meme, but two, cause it was so on the nose. It felt like something I would melodramatically deadpan to my fried group. And maybe it will be super dated in a few years because of it, but I rather think of it as preserving what 20 year olds were like in the 2020's.

I also love that everyone in the main cast is queer. It's just a much more realistic aspect of life, especially in a city like New York. Hell, I'm from a small town in the middle of Canada, and my highschool group still ended up being 75% queer, though some of us didn't realise what flavour we were until later. Seeing a group of friends whole, while not all identifying the same way, share the experience of not being heteronormative, and it shows in ways that you just innately recognize when you're a part of that group too.

I also really like how much of the queer activism of Jane's life was interwoven. While it's not the main aspect of her personality, it is an important one, and rightly so. She was a lesbian punk in the 70's, there's no way you can just ignore everything that was going on then, and this book doesn't. It talks about the history, and what it was like. How that colours your view of the world and your reactions to it.

The only thing I found to be slightly annoying was when they tried to explain the science behind Janes' time travelling. Specifically, the theory that she was hopping through several points in time. I see no evidence how they got to that conclusion, it's not like Jane is going 'yeah, today I'm in 2021 but yesterday I was in 1986.' So I didn't love seeing that, 'cause it felt like a completely illogical guess to make for the situation, and only brought in to create more drama at a later plot about her becoming more and more stuck in the present while the subway line is about the get shutdown.

But even with that irritation, I loved this book, this book was almost perfect, and if I tried to describe everything I loved about this story I'd be here forever. Instead I'll just say thatwhen I have disposable income, I'm buying a copy. For now, just going to take it out of my library on repeat. Go read it

10/10

#One Last Stop #Casey McQuiston #book reviews #readingshenanigans #reading shenanigans #pride #pride month #book blog #bookish #booklr #books & libraries #lgbtqia #pride 2022 #queer reads #i loved this book #Niko is supreme

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sehunniepotwrites · 3 years

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let’s break the ice | m.l | two

🏒 SYNOPSIS— in which your college’s hockey team crashes your lunch plans after practice and you have to get away before dying of embarrassment 🏒 GENRE— fluff, humor, crack, college!au, ice hockey!au 🏒 PAIRING— ice hockey captain!mark lee x reader 🏒 WORD COUNT— 1.5k 🏒 WARNINGS— sexual innuendos made; povs switching during the same scene; cursing

🏒 AUTHOR’S NOTE— oh shit, does that say part two?? l m a o

y’all asked for it, so here it is! i’m turning this into a mini-series featuring random snapshots of mark with his love interest! no regular updates, the parts are just going to be randomly uploaded as we go. surprise surprise! i have a couple of moments planned already, so stay tuned! (i’m still working on the requests i have left as well as my other wips, please be patient with me!)

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You take that back, you absolutely hate hockey. More specifically, you hate the handsome devils that make up NCT U’s team and how they turned your meal with Jaemin and Jeno to a team dinner.

You hate how they are relentless in their teasing and force you into a chair right next to their captain. And you absolutely despise how all eyes are on you as Mark tries to strike a conversation with you.

The group decided to forgo your original plans of eating at a Thai place, opting to visit the local diner they frequented instead. You felt sorry for the person waiting on your group; having to deal with a loudmouth team that wanted to split the check was always a struggle. They just smiled as they readied your seating, pushing several tables together to accommodate your group. They quickly took your drink orders, the others ordering milkshakes and sodas while you and Mark just asked for waters. Your friends mocked you for even getting the same drink and it just went spiraling from there.

“I’m so sorry about them,” Mark whispers under his breath, hand coming up to cover his small face. “They’re being dumb. I’ll tell them to stop.”

He’s leaning his body towards yours and you feel the team’s stares as you move to cover your mouth. “Are they like this all the time? I mean, I know Jaemin and Donghyuck are but the rest, questionable.”

He rolls his brown eyes to convey his extremely annoyed state, “They’re nosy assholes, all of them.” Mark shoots his mates a glare that’s meant to be intimidating but it’s far from that off the ice. He looks like an upset little puppy, face crinkled and eyes rounded in the cutest way. You want to pinch his cheeks but you refrain from doing so.

“What are you two lovebirds talking about?” Donghyuck smirks from the other side of the table.

From beside him, Yangyang adds, “Yeah, share with the whole class!”

Mark groans— he can’t believe he has to deal with two loudmouths in his team. He looks to the older members: Sicheng is just silently grinning and Ten is wiggling his brows at the captain. The only one’s looking sorry for him are Jeno, the ever-so-sweet one sitting beside his boyfriend, and Sungchan, the shy new addition to the team.

Jaemin, sitting on your right while Mark is squished on your left, laughs, “You’re not talking about being smashed by him, are you?” He’s obviously taking pleasure in your pain. You don’t think they’re ever going to let that go.

You smack him across the arm and he winces at the stinging contact, surprised by your strength. “Oh my god, stop! No one was supposed to hear that!”

“And yet, everybody did,” Yangyang says teasingly, eyes slotted and mouth upturned into a shit-eating grin. You don’t think he should be talking, you’ve seen his struggles with the person in the dinosaur mascot suit but that’s another story.

“Let’s just forget everything about that, please!”

“I, uh, agree,” Mark says, clearing his throat. He smiles nervously at you and you return it with a shy one of your own. God, how can one person be so attractive?

“So cuuuuute,” Donghyuck coos and the other players follow, loving the way their captain cringes at their voices. Not being able to take it anymore, you put your face in your hands as Jaemin joins in on the commotion.

What in the world did you do to deserve this treatment, you wonder as your face heats up in your hold. You’re at the point where yanking your hair out sounds like a better time than dealing with the jokes the boys are throwing your way. You don’t know how much more of this you can take.

You feel Mark shift in his chair. He brings his lips to your ear to ask, “Do you, uh, I don’t know, maybe, wanna get outta here?”

His voice is low, soft, and comes off as a bit timid as he presents the question but it still sets the butterflies free in your stomach. They’re flying around, tickling you in the weirdest way but you don’t mind— it’s been a while since your heart fluttered like this.

Biting back a huge smile, your cheeks make your eyes curl into little slits as you nodded enthusiastically. “Oh my god, yes please,” you answer as you scramble for your belongings.

Mark wastes no time, pushing his metal chair out from under the table before pulling yours out. He grabs his team jacket and slings it over his shoulder before guiding you out the door, his hand gripping tightly onto yours. The group of boys yell at you to come back and you ignore them, too busy reeling at the feeling of Mark’s hand in yours. It’s warm and inviting, the way his fingers wrap around your smaller palm.

The cold autumn breeze hits you as soon as he opens the door and it gets worse when you’re running down the street so one of the boys can’t chase after you. You’ve made it two blocks before you stop running and that’s when Mark finally notices that he’s still holding on tightly to your hand.

“Oh, I, um, sorry,” he mumbles as he rushes to let go. His high cheeks are turning red and it clearly shows how flustered he is.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him with a giggle.

The wind blows through the holes in your knit sweater and you shiver at the sudden cold. Ugh, why didn’t you think to bring a thicker jacket?

Mark notices and he immediately takes action. “Oh, here,” he says before taking his team jacket and draping it over your shoulders. You quickly try to tell him it’s okay and shrug it off but he insists on you wearing it, a small grin peeking out on his lips. He watches you slip your arms through the blue sleeves and pull your hands out through the orange and white lined ends.

Before you could get to it, the blond hastily zips the jacket up to the very top for you, his knuckles brushing against your chin. It leaves your heart beating wildly against your ribcage, fighting its way to come out. Mark takes a step back to admire the sight of you in his clothes— his last name embroidered on one side rests proudly against your chest and it looks damn good on you.

“T—thanks,” you stutter, not used to being treated this way. The move was so incredibly sweet and you think it’ll live in your mind for the rest of your life, rent free, along with all the other cute things he does.

Mark’s grin widens. “Yeah, yeah, of course,” he replies, glad he’s not the one stumbling over his words for once. Maybe he’s staring at you in his jacket longer than he needs to but you don’t mind, not when he’s looking at you with shining eyes you want to get lost in.

You don’t though, your little moment being interrupted by the loud growling of your empty stomach. Your eyes become circles and you’re suddenly burning up in his jacket. Wrapping your arms around your middle, you let out an uneasy laugh.

Mark’s bright laughter fills your ears and soon, you’re joining in too, quiet giggles shaking your body.

He clears his throat and scrunches his nose at you. It’s an endearing look, you think, as you save the sight in your memory. “C’mon, let’s go get you some food,” he chuckles, slipping his hand into yours once again.

Mark leads you down the street, a loose grip on your hand, and he hopes you don’t feel how clammy his palms are through your sweater paws. His eyes are darting to anything and everything but you, too scared to look you in the eye. He thinks if he spares one more look at you, he’ll combust.

“You were gonna get some Thai food, right?” Mark asks.

You glance at him and nod in agreement, “Yeah, there’s a place Jaemin and I usually go to. We were just gonna head there.” You tell him where it’s located and it’s a bit of a long walk. He didn’t mind though, he quite enjoyed holding your hand.

You don’t see it but Mark secretly pumps his fist when you initiate the interlocking of your fingers. The feeling of his hand in yours is so comforting, you don’t think you ever want to let go.

Peeping over at him, you catch him do the same to you at the exact same time, right down to the second. He blinks at you, eyes widened in shock and another burst of laughter bubbles through you, entertained at how ridiculously shy the both of you were.

Seeing the university’s golden boy as fumbly as you were in this particular moment relaxes a bit of your nerves, though. Many people see the famous Mark Lee as this picture perfect student athlete but during this moment, you just see him as a boy.

You’re just a girl walking time with a boy and you think nothing else could ever beat this moment.

#neowritingsnet #let's break the ice #mark lee #mark scenarios #mark imagines #mark lee x reader #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct imagines #love on the ice #hockey!au #mark fluff #nct crack #🏒

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docockbrainrot · 3 years

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i think i want you (to leave)

Summary: We’re all running from something. Sometimes, metaphorically. Sometimes, literally. Literally running, from the very strangely hypnotizing supervillain that seems hellbent on ruining every bit of your life he can get all eight of his limbs on.

Pairing: Doc Ock X Reader/ Otto Octavius X Reader

Content: Slow Burn, NSFW eventually, 18+

AO3 link here.

Previous Chapter

Chapter 5

anathema// former vandal

The next several days are an uneventful blur. You barely leave your apartment, except for brief dog walks and grabbing food from the bodega across the street.

It’s 9 pm on Saturday and you’re fresh out of the shower, tucked away in a very fuzzy robe, lounging on the couch and watching YouTube on your television. You almost miss the subtle taptaptaptap sound coming from your window, you're so engrossed in the cooking show you’ve been binging. Gotta fill the void somehow, right?

You can’t see anything outside from where you’re sitting. The lights are on and make it impossible to peer through the reflections on the glass. Maybe it’s a bird. Or a branch is caught on the fire escape. Either way, you certainly can’t be assed to check it out and you take another sip of your chamomile tea- you’ve been trying everything under the sun, just about short of literally snorting lines of melatonin, to try to sleep better at night. Nothing’s been working. But you have been making a very valiant effort.

A few moments go by and you forget all about the window disturbance until,

TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP.

It’s jarring. It’s loud. Above all else, it’s annoying. Chekov spares you a look, like you’re the one making a racket. Effectively exasperated, you make an effort to set, not slam, down your mug, feeling decidedly not Calm and Relaxed as the tea promised. Suppose it’s not miracle shit though, is it? You would not be a good candidate for a horror movie because you fearlessly storm over to the window and throw it open (it wasn’t locked in the first place; you’re quite terrible at remembering to). You stick your head out and glower at whatever irritating mischief is happening out here, ready to rip the fire escape off the side of the brick building.

You’re greeted by something cold and hard (and indubiously metal, judging by how it felt against your sternum) shoving you back into your apartment, sending you sprawling unceremoniously to the hardwood floor. A string of profanities ready to leave your tongue, you sit up and adjust your robe in an attempt to preserve a modicum of your modesty. The rant dies in your throat as red eyed claws grip the threshold of your pre-war window and it’s almost comical the way He maneuvers himself in, far too large to be making these sorts of entrances. Standing up to his full height before you while you’re still sitting dumbfounded on the floor reminds you of just how impressively built he is. You manage to pick your jaw up, but your ass remains firmly planted on the wood.

“Uh… you could have just used the buzzer, dude. I have a front door, you know,” you sputter out, brain blitzing in pretty much every way possible. Your thoughts are racing and eventually they settle on the most important thing you can think to ask in that moment: “... Why aren’t you wearing a shirt.” You can't help the way your eyes are drawn to his broad chest, gaze lingering on the vast scarring that spills out from the metal contraption clamped around his midsection.

Otto very graciously closes the window behind himself. Or at least his little robot accomplices do it for him. You still aren’t sure what’s going on with that- the whole AI thing. Not even a blip on your radar of concerns at this point. “Didn’t want anyone to see me come in. Your building has a camera on the front, facing the street.”

“That’s why you’re shirtless?” You ask dumbly. Interesting method of camouflage. “What? No- what? It doesn’t matter- listen to me. I need you to do something for me. A small favor.”

He doesn’t seem to notice the compromised position he put you in. Typical. Gathering up your broken pride, you get up and tighten the tie of your robe a bit. It isn’t until then that he has the decency to look a smidge embarrassed and you hope you didn't just give him a free show on your way to getting to your feet. “You literally just broke into my apartment and now you’re asking for a favor? We barely know each other!”

“Less complicated when there's nothing personal involved yet, plus- you let me in,” he corrects you. You wish he would stop doing that. You wish he would stop meeting with you like this, under weird and mysterious circumstances. Even though it's only been like twice. You're already over it.

“You threw me across the room!”

“Touche.”

Otto does not apologize and you did not sincerely expect him to. The look on his face reads more like the cat that got the canary than regretful. You feel as though you’ve come to recognize that expression on his face and you also feel as though you don’t much like the fact that you’ve enough encounters with this man that you can recognize a damn thing about him. “What… could you possibly need me to do for you? I am not robbing a bank.” You just want to get that out into the open as soon as possible.

“I don’t need your help robbing a bank,” he snorts as if the idea is preposterous and you take a moment to feel insulted. Wow. Okay. You could totally rob a bank if you wanted to. Deciding to not comment on your wounded ego, you let him get to the point. Otto pulls something out of his inner coat pocket. It's some kind of rolled up paper and you think at first maybe it's a newspaper or magazine. He unfurls it onto the coffee table and holds it open with two metal claws on either side so it doesn't ravel itself back up.

You realize it's a blueprint. "This is… Oscorp," you point out stupidly, brow furrowing in confusion. There's levels to what's happening here. Layers upon layers, melding together with rot and decay and you can all but smell it. But there's something missing, something that would tie all of the wackjob shit that's been happening to you and around you together. It feels like when you have a very particular thought and then walking into another room makes it dissolve from your head. You're trying to grasp for it, to fit the puzzle pieces together, but it's just out of reach.

"Yes. It is. I have a small task I need you to do," Otto starts off, metal phalanges pushing his glasses up onto the top of his head as he looks over at you. For the first time, you can see his eyes in the light. The warm amber feels like a mockery- you have seen his cruelty in action.

"Where did you get this?"

"Does it matter?" Of course he'd say that.

Your fingertips brush against the metaphorical wayward chain link. It's right there. You just have to grab it and pull it back to you, like the anchor of a ship before it can set sail.

He's talking. You aren't listening. He's tracing a finger over the schematics. You don't see it. Realization washes over you in a heart-dropping tsunami. The voicemail you got from Oscorp plays like a broken record in your mind. 'Hello, Y/N. We're calling in regards to your employment status here at Oscorp. Unfortunately, due to a breach of security, we are having to make staffing cuts and are going to have to let you go. We appreciate your time and effort and wish you the best of luck in your next endeavor.' It didn't make sense at the time. A lot of things didn't. You replay the scene of poor David, desperately pleading for his life at the hands of the man hunched over here, just in your living room. You mentally re-run it over and over like bad 80s sitcoms on late night television.

"Lab Coat Guy…"

You don't realize you whispered it out loud until Otto goes silent.

"What?"

You slowly look at him and take a single step backwards, shaking your head. The company embroidered on David's lab coat hadn't been clear to you in the moment- but it's crystal in hindsight. Oscorp. "You got me fired." Your tone is flat, until anger flashes through you, like a streak of lightning through a dark, moonless sky, illuminating all of things that didn’t make sense before.

"It doesn't matter. What I need you to do-" He's so nonchalant, so blasé that it only stokes the embers of frustration until there's a roaring blaze burning beneath your skin. It's all about him, what he needs, what he wants. He has the nerve, the audacity, to keep traipsing into your life, kicking you while you're down and then ask for favors? You want to say all of that to him but unfortunately for you, you're an angry crier. Your outburst of bravery at him the last time you saw each other had surprised even you- but now there's so much more emotion roiling around inside you.

"No. No, no. Fuck you. You got me fired! I can't- I can't not have a job, I have to pay rent! You could get me arrested for just talking to you!" Oscorp had you canned to tie up any potential loose ends before anymore Davids could slip through the cracks. You think about how scared the poor dude must have been, threatened into stealing blueprints from the biggest corporation in the city, for one of the most infamous criminals. You don't know how they found out you were even remotely involved and you don't want to know.

Tears are streaming down your cheeks and once the floodgates have opened you're very familiar with how long it's going to take to close them again. After all you've been bottling this up since you found out, too disappointed to even tell any of your friends or family.

Otto appears taken aback, to say the least. He even looks like he's at a loss for words; that's a first. You know he could kill you where you stand in the blink of an eye, but in that moment you don’t even care. You’ve been trying so hard for so long to get on your feet, to do things for yourself and get away from the past. You moved across the country, you left everything behind, you got a damn dog. It seems like every time you manage to take a step forward in life, you’re knocked flat on your ass, apparently literally sometimes. It isn’t fair. Things don’t come easily to you, you’ve always had to work for them. You aren’t wealthy, you aren’t a supergenius, you’re just… you. The job at Oscorp was good money and you really felt like you were getting your shit together for a while.

“They’re not who you think they are,” he says finally, so calmly, with such carefulness about his words, that you sniffle pathetically and look up at him. He doesn’t look nearly as pleased with himself as you thought he might. And here you’ve been, under the impression that he gets off on hurting people. “Oscorp. I’m not… I’m not just doing this for me. You have to understand that.”

The schematics are furled up and tucked away. You make the mistake of meeting his eyes. Maybe it’s just the tears that blur your vision, but you swear you see a softness there before they’re hidden away again by his glasses.

He lingers at the window.

“I hope you’ll reconsider.” And then he was making his exit, even taking care to gently close the window on the way out. But he raps on the glass with his knuckles from where he stands on the fire escape and you know the look of confusion on your tear-streaked face speaks for itself. Otto points to the latches on the window. ‘Lock it.’ He mouths before he’s gone, presumably to wreak havoc and harass other unsuspecting young women that don’t want anything to do with him.

You thought everything had come together- but the more sense you make of it, the less you seem sure of the bigger picture. You aren't even sure exactly what he wanted you to do.

You’re left with an endless bounty of questions, and not enough answers to satisfy any of them.

#otto octavius x reader #doc ock x reader #fanfiction #otto octavius #doc ock

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xoruffitup · 3 years

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Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work.

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

#Adam Driver #Annette #Cannes 2021 #driverdaily #Annette spoilers

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