#shes never been in love

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate. #you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you #think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth. #then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty #house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive #this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died. #and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first #place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever #given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and #you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's #everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you #have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love #more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me. #real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you. #and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love. #lit #the hunger games #everlark #otp: real or not real? #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #text #tais toi lys #thgpost

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded psychopath happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know #im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie #or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them #snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow! #but then shes gone…. for a while…… #and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book #that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss #the hunger games #coriolanus snow #tbosas #lucy gray baird #not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration #but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause #like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not. #snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time #he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets #and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets #he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved #but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall #he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[clouvu]

Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine

#genshin impact #arlecchino #peruere #clervie #ouhhhhhhhh im never gonna be able to emotionally recover from watching that animated short #ever since it came out a couple days ago just thinking of these two makes me feel like my heart is physically being ripped in half #i cant stop thinking about how Clervie was the only person in Arlecchino's life that she truly loved #like dont get me wrong Arlecchino loves her children in her own detached-fucked up way as much as any person with her amount of trauma can #but Clervie meant so much to her that even just her presence alone kept Arle's curse at bay #and it seems that no one other than Clervie herself has ever been able to break this unemotional/detached wall that Arle has put up #and maybe no one else ever will #DONT GET ME WRONG I still fw arle x other female harbingers like that shit is still peak #but oh my god the idea that arle never moved on after clervie's death and will never love anyone the way she loved her makes me want to SOB

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

#DONT COMMENT ON THE BACKGROUND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW #anyway this is day 1. they take a bus. the bakugo household has fishing gear so ´deku is wearing bakugo's onesoe (?) and bakugo is wearing #his dad's. and notices he has grown :') #anyway they take a BUS and don't feel like doing this at all it's awkward for so many reason #also trying to relax after everything is neurologically just really hard they might be hyperivgilant dik #and there's so much they never got to unpack bnut they have to and they have to start somewhere and with someone #deku makes that flower crown while bakugo preps everything and they both look at it and are thrown back into their childhood 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ #and at first they just sit and wait for the bavarian fish to bite (rody should make a cameo tbh) but then bakugo breaks the iceeee. #and he starts with their moms because their moms have been such a stubbron connection between these two :') #and deku answers with the usual 'good :) how's your mom :)?' and to everyone's surprise he actually opens up #and tells deku about his mom's insomnia because she watched her son die (that shit was live streamed tpo 10 bnha tweets btw) #idk i love to think of their moms being a very easy subject to connect through i think it's easier for them that way to be more vulnerablei #and then some fish biteeeeeeeeeeee #but like 3 small ones so they have to gather berries and mushrooms and make stew (dw there's an aldi this is bavaria after all) #but yeah day 1 is a bit weird like it's just them in the woods with no distractions #which is so different from whatever went on during their 1st year of high school #don't read this i will throw up i just need this somewhere this is my public scrapbook #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #the flower crown on their knees makes this a bit homosexual but fishing is always homosexual im not fighting against that #au: #fishing

[brennan-lee-mother]

Can’t believe the intrepid heroes forgot about this one random 1-minute bit in Pirate Brawl

#love that it’s just been sitting in adaines inventory this entire time #she just has a scooter she never uses #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fantasy high #dimension 20 #mera speaks #d20 #fh

[jq37]

I am feeling a way about Aelwyn continually inviting Adane to hang out at her apartment even though it's a disaster area with her ten ornery cats and scattered microwave dinner trays. I know a part of that is Brennan just wanting a reason to show the audience the very funny contrast from, "I came here to fuck!" to "Nooo Hector :(" But there's also something to her being like, "I want you here with me even though it will entirely ruin any possible remaining mystique around my cool girl persona"--something she absolutely still cares about in a general sense as she tells Adaine not to tell Fabian anyone else about what her apartment is like. It's one thing to be nice, but it's another to be vulnerable, especially when you've been raised in such a way that every weakness was used as a future attack--so much so that her entire brand of magic is protecting herself and not being vulnerable.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #adaine abernant #aelwyn abernant #d20 #spoilers #not gonna apologize for all the abernant posting #bc I've been waiting for this for YEARS #this is my oscars #anyway I love it when a bit is anchored in like character development #fy aelwyn would have NEVER let adaine see her being this uncool #now she's like pleassssse visit me I miss you

[pokeberry5]

girl experiences gender euphoria and is immediately slammed by grief

for @litttlittt <3. this was supposed to be a portrait of caroline hill, but litta mentioned tim looking like janet when dressed as caroline and identity issues and angst and things spiraled

something about tim not knowing if he's his mother's child or bruce's or neither's.

figuring out the looks:

i wanted janet to have that poofy 70s hair

#tim drake #dc #bruce wayne #janet drake #sart #i'm picturing this as transfemme tim hence “he” and also compounding issues about bruce treating him as a daughter #which is exactly the gender validation tim wants and needs but isnt sure he deserves #but this also definitely works for trans tim #she gets to process that she looks like her mom!! and her mom will never get to know her daughter #would she have wanted to know her daughter? even though she showered tim with love when she was around #she barely knew her son #gender idk he's a girl 👍 hope that helps #i went down a rabbit hole looking up vintage dior necklaces -- hopefully something martha wayne wouldve worn #-- but dior necklaces are COMPLICATED #i almost drew pearls but i think that wouldve been too cruel to bruce lol #(a decent amount of my art--even when it's not femme tim--gets tagged 'gender' and i dont know what im going but im glad 👍)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Don't Wormy About Me.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #yu ziyuan #Please allow me to make it clear how important I think the hug between YZY and JC is in regards to several aspects of their characters #For one - it is the resolution and reveal that behind all the harsh words and bitterness...She really did love her son. #A hug is a soft gesture that you would never expect from someone like YZY and the fact she shows JC this affection now - #-Tells us how she knows that this upcoming battle is a death sentence for her. #Her giving away Zidan is honestly overkill but another sign of her truly showing him how she loves him and wants him to survive. #The dread of knowing she's walking back to a fight without zidian and trying to keep up brave face one last time...chilling. #Zidian represents legacy and promises. And this is going to both save and destroy Jiang Cheng as he carries this weight alone. #Heartbreaking stuff! Didn't draw it in the comic because I wanted to draw a silly worm on a string! #WWX tried to help JC out of the knot but got stuck in it. #Those worm on a string tricks are harder than they look! #Also; it's been about a year since the last boat joke - but indeed this is the 11th boat of pd-mdzs. No need to do the math.

[elitadream]

I'll be honest: I've got no excuse for that one. This is just pure and unfiltered silliness. 😂

The idea that Peach finds Mario very handsome is one that I absolutely adore, and I love imagining that her friends would often catch her staring while he works around the castle. The man would never notice; too absorbed by the task at hand to remotely consider that his visible strain and skillful moves might be closely observed. But little does he know, those seemingly mundane displays of strength and deftness would have the Princess pining even harder for him! xD 💘

What can I say? It's been forever since the last time I drew her looking properly flustered in his presence. I just had to! 😏🤭

#Mario #Princess Peach #Mario x Peach #Mareach #romance #idiots in love #I couldn't resist including Daisy for comedic purposes 😆 #She would absolutely give her friend that look I am convinced #and also make less than subtle allusions later 🤣 #And poor Peach has no frame of reference for those feelings #She's never been enamored with anyone. Barely knows what crushes and butterflies even are- #All she knows is that Mario is one gorgeous man 🙇‍♀️❤️‍🔥 #And so she stares ��� #These two really need to have a talk xD #like ASAP #lol #Super Mario Bros #fanart

[monakisu]

light gets it from his mom… “it” as in “two-faced backstabbing snakery” ˘ᗜ˘🐍

(late) gift 3/3 for my secret santa @llawlieta !!! for ur prompt of yagami family Fucked Up goodness ( ͒•·̫|💚🍭🎀 hope u enjoy!! HAPPY HOLS! * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊

#美迪 archive #💡princess posting⋆˚✿˖° #dnsecretsanta23 #light yagami #sachiko yagami #death note #this is his mom’s way of saying i love u without actually saying it out loud #like mother like son: tsundere edition #they’re both too proud to admit they suffer from something as weak as Feelings #poor soichiro probably had go thru hell and back to obtain this sinister wife #i like to headcanon that light & sayu are extremely lucky that light turned out so perfect #because if sachiko hadn’t been so fond of him she might’ve tossed him over a bridge like Oops #then she never would’ve mellowed out enough to accept sayu as she is #thanks first-born child for taking the brunt of the parents’ field testing and paving the easy way for the little sibling

[chalkrub]

svanhildr my beloved returns

#my art #oc #svanhildr #anthro #furry #goat #illustration #oc tober #(this is day 3......i'm doing it at my own pace. lol) #I gave her some funky white eyeliner as a quick experiment and loved it so now she's got white eyeliner i guess #congrats svanhildr you've been REDESIGNED. in the smallest way possible. and also with more horn texture (that i didn't reference) #i need to reference things more i am stagnating so hard at the moment. whatever #last night me and the girlies made the age-old mistake of putting on mud face masks together and taking a cute polaroid for memories #anyway needless to say the polaroid came out darker expected and now we have a photo of us that could be very badly misinterpreted #and has very very VERY unfortunate connotations that we did not foresee in our shortsighted naivety and did NOT intend #live and learn and never let the photo escape into the outside world I guess!

[emiko-matsui]

the funniest thing about the bad kids meeting ayda is she took one look at the right side of the table and didn't give a shit about any of them and then became absolutely obsessed with every single person on the left side of the table

#ayda first days of knowing adaine gains her first friend and genuine connection of love and comradery and understanding #ayda first days of knowing gorgug holds his head in her hands and delivers a monologue of how much she admires him and his rippling brain #ayda first days of knowing fig kindles a first love heals inners insecurities and creates a genuine bond thats never been replicated #ayda a year into knowing kristen fabian and riz: who tf are you guys again? #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #ayda aguefort #fhsy #adaine abernant #fig faeth #gorgug thistlespring #figayda #brennan lee mulligan #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #kristen applebees

[rogueddie]

El, who learnt through Hopper that if you do something bad then something you like gets taken away, kidnapping Steve whenever someone in the party does or says anything that upsets her

#stranger things #steve harrington #eleven hopper #will is the only one she can't do that with bc they live together #and the only place el can keep steve at is their house #and she essentially keeps him trapped by telling joyce that he hasn't been sleeping or eating enough #which makes joyce go mother hen and she very gently coerces steve into staying there for a weekend or something #steve secretly loves the fuss so he never really complains #they're like little vacations

[super-nova5045]

sylvia plath, todd anderson and virginia woolf (aka ACTUAL tortured poets) watching taylor “im breaking up with my boyfriend for his intense depression and blaming it on him, im dating a racist who enjoys watching woc being brutalized and harasses young woc artists, i sent my fans out on a hate train to attack a young woc actress for a line she had to say as part of her job to show how mentally ill her character was, im dating a maga supporter, i refuse to say anything about a current genocide despite being the most influential person in the world right now, i am a billionaire, i fly 13 minute flights and have the highest carbon emission of any celebrity, i am a known white feminist who only speaks about issues when it affects me and has constantly let my fans get away with extreme racism and even encouraged it by associating myself with known racists” swift call herself a tortured poet (her writing sounds like a bunch of thesaurus words slapped over gabba hanna and rupi kaur-esque poetry that was created purely as a trinket for an edgy pinterest board)

#anti taylor swift #like she can be problematic that’s okay #there are SO many problematic artists i like #but she’s not even that good #like read sylvia plath or virginia woolf or listen to LDR or fiona apple or mitski or lorde or boygenius or olivia rodrigo #aka her peers #and realise how much better they are #they truly write art because they have a compassion and rawness for it #whereas taytay only writes to get more money LOL #she’s so extremely privileged that her life is not at all relatable and now she tries to make it so #by romanticizing the most mundane #thats never been your brand babe now it’s going to sound like dogshit #GUTS by olivia rodrigo is better because it has such an intensity to it. liv means what she says and you can feel it! #fiona apple means what she says when she writes about begging her lover to love her back! #mitski means what she says when she writes that she is self destructive and puts herself in bad situations since that’s all she knows! #lana means what she says when she writes about her suicide attempt at 15 because of constant abuse from her mother and crippling depression #all of it such haunting and beautiful works because it truly comes from the soul and isn’t a cash grab #Anyway i’m so sorry virginia and sylvia and todd #todd anderson #AND JOE ALWYN #joe alwyn my favourite man ever #joe alwyn #dead poets society #anderperry #sylvia plath #virginia woolf #the bell jar #lana del rey #fiona apple #mitski

[heartorbit]

we get a little silly

#project sekai #pjsk #proseka #emu otori #prsk #i was SO sleepy yesterday after class i couldnt draw or sketch so i blocked this out of color very silly style #i love drawing like that and other artists make it look so good i'm not great at it but its fun from time to time. she silly! #nenes cardigan patch is a seashell bc i didnt know how to draw robot head. soz. #i will never miss emu heart hair strand. believe it. #my first class was late in the evening + ive been jumping around on all of my comms so i havent drawn mych personal. i sleepy #my semester staarted yesterday so my biweekly posts will become um maybe monthly who knows. more like whenever i wnat which is what i do rn #if youre reading this i wuv you. #the early birthday emu.. but she will get more. just u waits.