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solaariia · 2 months

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the self-concept

hellour! this is gonna be a long post!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

i was studying for my social psychology course today (for context i'm a psych major) and read something that might be helpful for everyone who's been having doubts about manifestation subconsciously being part of our everyday lives—as opposed to something made up by the internet.

the information i'm about to provide is from actual sociologists and psychologists, so this is rooted in studies. i promise i'm not about to pull info out of my ass! this is mainly just a very very brief summary of the self concept chapter we're reading about in class.

side note, i named all the researchers in case you wanna check out their work yourself! i made this post to provide insight about our self-concept and clear limiting beliefs. :)

what is self-concept?

so we hear the term self-concept a lot in the manifestation community. Neville, Edward, Sammy, Dr Joe Dispenza, bloggers on tumblr… all of them talk about it all the time. but what does it actually mean?

the self-concept refers to the total sum of beliefs that people have about themselves. it consists of cognitive molecules that social psychologist Hazel Markus called self-schemas. these are the beliefs about ourselves that guide the processing of self relevant information. but what does this actually mean?

well, self-schemas are to the self-concept what books are to a library. if someone asks about yourself, you will probably answer with something quick like: “i am a woman” or “i am a student.” those simple attributes are part of your self-schema; if we want to go deeper, body weight is also a self-schema. for people who regard weight as a crucial part of their beliefs, something simple like a gym trip with friends or buying stuff at the supermarket may trigger thoughts about the self. but if a person is aschematic (not concerned by a certain attribute) about body weight, no thoughts will pop up.

we already know that the self is a special object of our attention. whether its a thought or a song, our consciousness is like a spotlight. this means that it can shine on one object at one point in time, yet shift rapidly from one object to another and process information outside of awareness. in this spotlight, the self is at the forefront of our minds. its what's most important to us at that moment. keep this in mind for later!

to finish with the explanations, neurologist Oliver Sacks highlighted two important points about the self:

🩷 there is a private “inner” self, and an “outer” self we show to others. if we don’t self reflect to understand how were feeling, how will we understand our emotions and actions?

🩷 the self is heavily influenced by social factors.

now–what does that last point mean? well, what we think about ourselves is rooted from childhood. if we grow up hearing “you’ll never amount to anything” or “you’re my favorite child” (extreme examples i know), then that's what we’ll ingrain in our self-concept. this notion brings me to the fun stuff–the studies!

is self-concept scientifically proven?

psychologist Gordon Gallup performed a series of studies where he put animals in front of a mirror to test if they could recognize themselves. at first, they vocalized and greeted themselves in the mirror (my dog did this too when he was a pup, he would bark at his own reflection and play with it), but after several days, only great apes seemed capable of self recognition, using the mirror just like any other human would. grooming themselves, making faces… in short, they recognized themselves!

why do i bring this experiment up? well, this proves that the concept of “me” is necessary to define our self-concept. we must first recognize ourselves as Something to become Someone.

using that same study in humans, this process of self-recognition begins between 18-24 months. which means that from this point onwards we start to define Self (consciousness).

you might read this and–admittedly–think: “oh this blog post hasn’t said anything about manifestation!” true, but i want to present the basics or self-concept first to understand how it affects our daily thoughts!

there was another experiment we talked about in one of my lectures (i do not remember who performed this study specifically, but Dr Patrick Heck did one similar to this one and the results were the same), where participants were told to take a test. half of them were told to boast about themselves, and the rest were instructed to describe themselves modestly. naturally, participants who spoke highly of themselves scored higher on these tests than participants who didn’t. so… you all see where i’m going with this.

remember how i said to keep the “consciousness is a spotlight” paragraph in mind? i’ll finally touch on it with this next and last thing i’m gonna talk about (in this post at least!).

we already established that the first step in the evolution of our self-concept is the ability to recognize ourselves as Someone. the second step, however, involves social factors. sociologist Charles Horton Cooley introduced the term looking-glass self to suggest that other people serve as a mirror in which we see ourselves. and another sociologist by the name of George Herbert added that the only way to know ourselves is by imagining the opinions of our significant others and applying them to our self-concepts. sounds familiar?

how do i change my self-concept?

Neville mentioned the “mirror-self” on his conferences too. he said that one of his favorite techniques to better his Self was to imagine a loved one speaking kindly of himself. in his book Your Faith is Your Fortune, Neville wrote: “Stop trying to change the world since it is only the mirror. Man’s attempt to change the world by force is as fruitless as breaking a mirror in the hope of changing his face. Leave the mirror and change your face. Leave the world alone and change your conceptions of yourself. The reflection then will be satisfactory.”

since the self-concept is a library (our perception of Self) made out of self-schemas (books brought to us by our peers), we can see that sometimes, what we think of ourselves is just an amalgamation of beliefs implanted to us by the people in our lives. so if we were given these books we don’t like, why should we keep them in our library?

to change these negative beliefs we have about ourselves, all we have to do is replace them with positive ones. i know, i know, this is what every person who studies loa and manifestation regurgitates over and over. its nothing that hasn’t been posted to numerous blogs or twitter threads before.

however, the point about this whole post is to tell you why that is the only way to change your self-concept. if your daily thoughts are filled with phrases like: “my sp doesn’t want me” and “i’m so broke” or “what’s the point? this is all worthless anyways.” STOP. DROP. CHANGE.

journal. write your limiting beliefs in your ipad, paper, wood, stone–whatever.

use your hands to apply muscle memory. once you have them, CROSS THEM OUT!

i can’t manifest = I CAN MANIFEST EVERYTHING I WANT

i hope i shift tonight = I KNOW I SHIFT EVERY NIGHT

i wish i had money = I HAVE ALL THE MONEY I WANT AND MORE

just those small changes are enough to rewire your entire self-concept. also, exposure. the more exposure you have to something, the more insecure it will make you. if you’re having a hard time manifesting, remove all blogs, twitter accounts, and people that limit your beliefs. less exposure to negativity = less negativity reflected in your self-concept.

problems with the Self will always be there. if you remove a negative belief, another will pop up. all you can do is learn more about your “inner” self and recognize how you’re feeling. what you can do is focus on the positives, and automatically, your self-concept will change.

persist in the assumption until it becomes your reality!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

thank you all for making it this far! just in case, the book i got this information from is Social Psychology 11th Edition authored by Kassin, Fein and, H.R. Markus. there’s a lot of interesting information on this academic book that is similar to the ones Dr Joe Dispenza has written, so i could make another post like this in the future! take care!

#loa tumblr #law of assumption #loassumption #self concept #informative #social psychology #neville goddard #reality shifting #psychology #shiftblr #reya singh #shifting #edward art #quantum jumping #void state #research

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strangersteddierthings · 10 months

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The Conversation

Final Part of The Interview [Part One] [Part Two] [Ao3]

Steve finishes putting on his boots, shoves a beanie on his head, and grabs his thermos of coffee before heading outside. Robin had texted when they left Pendleton so they should be arriving soon, and he wants to make sure the dogs stay clear of the driveway, and also finish some of the chores he is being lazy about. The mountain air is cold in February, and the snow is deep, but it's still warm for a winter day in Eastern Oregon.

His childhood house had been at the edge of a little forest. His current home is tucked away in the woods, trees for miles, and the nearest neighbor farther still than that. He's lived a lot of places, been able to see the whole of America almost, and in the process, he's learned that he'll always be a small-town boy. The real revelation is how at home he feels in this two-bedroom cabin sequestered away from any town at all. Sure, he's got to drive a little over half an hour to get to the nearest grocery store, but he's learned he likes that.

He's got 1600 acres of woods all to himself and the dogs. He's owned this property for almost four years, but recent events made him finally move out here. Originally, he'd bought it to make it as another flip project, but something in his gut told him to make it a vacation home / safe haven for his family instead. Robin, mainly, as a getaway from the LA life and overwhelming spotlight she'd started to face as her music career took off. He might be turning it into his permanent home and base of operations, but everyone knows they're still welcome.

Anyway, the day might be warm for winter, but the night won't be, so Steve sets his thermos on the top of the wooden railing of the porch and heads down the steps to the woodshed. The plan in the summer is to update the cabin, which includes adding central air and a good heating system, but until then, portable heaters are in the bedrooms and the wood stove gets the rest of the cabin. There's also plans to start the construction on the guest house. It's going to be a busy summer.

He replenishes the woodpile on the porch from the woodshed and debates chopping more but decides against it. That can be a tomorrow chore. Next is cleaning up the snow paths he's made previously. Doesn't want anyone falling on their ass on the way to the house, no matter how funny that'll be to watch. As usual, Pancake makes the task difficult because she wants to play with the snow shovel. Melody cries until he throws snow into the air by the shovel full for her to play in. Chowder, old man that he is, supervises from the porch, front paws hanging just off the top step.

It's rough going but he manages to complete the few chores, even with two dogs underfoot.

Steve is on the front porch, forearms holding his weight as he leans against the railing, thermos of coffee between his hands, taking in the afternoon sun and enjoying the silence when Dustin's work truck slides into the driveway. Almost literally, given the foot and a half of snow still on the ground. The driveway is long, okay. Steve's doesn't have enough time in his day to keep up with salting it all.

It'll be strange to see Eddie after all these years. He still can't believe Robin got him to come. When he'd asked how she did it, she brushed him off with an it's not important.

Speaking of Robin, she's the first person out of the truck, sliding out of the passenger seat and then cursing when she drops right into the snow. She shoots an accusatory look towards the cabin, and therefore Steve, like he placed the snow there himself, when the fault is Dustin, who has left the driver side with plenty of room between the truck and the snowbank.

Dustin gets out of the truck and Steve faintly hears him say this side, man, less snow before pushing his door closed and turning to brace himself as Pancake and Melody rush from the porch to circle like sharks, barely restraining themselves from jumping up. Chowder follows after slowly, taking his sweet time getting to Robin, his favorite human. Steve can't even be jealous about that because Robin is his favorite human, too.

The back driver side door opens, and he watches as Eddie Munson all but falls out of the truck. It's the least graceful anyone's looked getting out of the back of the truck and that's counting Chowder and his old man hips. Seeing Eddie again is- well, it's a lot of emotions all at once, but they're are all overshadowed at the moment by how Eddie looks... well, bad. His hair is longer than Steve's ever seen it, a little longer than mid-back length, but it looks like it hasn't seen a proper hair brush in a couple of days. Even from this distance Steve can see the bags under his eyes. He looks like he hasn't slept in days.

He pushes himself off the railing and meanders down the two steps, waiting for them to notice he's waiting. Robin trudges out of the snow berm and to the front of the truck, where Chowder is waiting patiently for his pets and kisses. Dustin has managed to get Melody to stop hopping in front of him so she can get her side scratches, and Pancake has realized there is a new, third person with a set of hands currently not petting her, and is circling Eddie, waiting for him to reach down and pet her but he just stands completely still, heading tracking her in her circles.

"She's friendly, I promise," Steve calls out, which makes Eddie's head snap up to look for the source of the voice. Well, everyone looks, but Eddie looks like he's seeing a ghost, which. Fair. Steve kind of feels the same way.

"Hello, Dingus," Robin calls as she stands from her crouched position, where she's been cuddling Chowder. As soon as she stands, he starts making his way back to the porch. "I have delivered one Edward Keaton Munson. You are not allowed to ask anything of me for, at minimum, a year."

"Steve! Why didn't you tell me you knew the Eddie Munson?" Dustin shouts.

Robin is scoffing, clearly offended. "Am I not famous enough for you Henderson!?"

"Get back to me when you've run a 24-hour Dungeons and Dragons live stream for charity!" Dustin shoots back, then has to dodge Robin's half-hearted punch aimed for his arm.

Eddie stays silent, looking more pale than when he got out of the truck. Steve's a little concerned he's going to faint.

"You been living under a rock, Dustin?" Steve asks. "My knowing him is apparently the only thing on the internet currently."

Dustin puts his whole head into the eye roll. "You spend a month backpacking with your girlfriend in the southern hemisphere and you never get to hear the end of it. I told you I'd catch up on your drama after I catch up on my DnD Live Plays."

"You also missed me winning a Grammy, you know."

"I thought Steve's thing was more important?"

"You are impossible, Henderson."

"You guys going to argue in the snow all afternoon, or do you want to come inside?" Steve says then places his fingers in his mouth and whistles. Melody and Pancake dash for the front door, where Chowder is already waiting. Dustin, Robin, and a still eerily quiet Eddie fall into line to walk the trail to the porch Steve had cleared.

Steve jumps the steps, grabs his thermos, lets the dogs in, and then holds the door for everyone else. Robin and Dustin breeze past, but Eddie slows, eyes jumping around Steve's face as they just look at each other for a moment. Eddie opens, then closes, then opens, then closes his mouth.

"Hi," Steve offers up, shifting a foot to hold the door open so he can wave his fingers at Eddie.

Eddie swallows thickly, then whispers back, "hey."

"In the house, Eddie. Don't want to let too much cold in," Steve tilts his head towards the doorway.

"Oh, right, sorry," that kick starts Eddie again and he crosses the threshold, Steve close behind.

Robin and Dustin are currently occupying the bench just inside the door, taking off their shoes. Once Dustin has his boots off, he leaves the bench, heading to the kitchen. Eddie seems lost, just standing in the entryway, so Steve takes the spot Dustin just left and proceeds to undo the laces on his boots. He gets one boot done by the time Robin stands, wandering after Dustin once she's hung up her coat, scarf, and gloves. Eddie doesn't move still, so Steve pats the empty spot beside him.

"No shoes in the cabin. Dogs track in enough snow, don't need us doing it too," Steve says, then busies himself with his other boot.

He sees Eddie sit and begin to untie his- jesus, he's not even wearing boots. Just a black pair of sneakers. Eddie unties his shoes in silence, sitting rather stiffly next to Steve.

This quiet, obedient Eddie is not what he expected.

"You want something to drink?" Steve asks, once both of them are free of their shoes.

"No, thank you."

"Alright. Have a seat, then," he gestures towards the couch. The cabin door opens up directly into the living area, which Steve has set up as 3/4th a living room and 1/4th dining room, in that a small kitchen table is along the far wall. Beyond that wall is the kitchen, where Robin and Dustin are undoubtedly helping themselves to his coffee or hot chocolate.

Eddie shuffles off to sit on the edge of the couch, as close to the armrest as he can get. Now that Steve can see him closer, he can see he's added more piercing to his face than just the eyebrow ring he wore in high school. Snake bites, a septum piercing, and a second eyebrow ring next to the original. He's sure that if Eddie's hair wasn't covering his ears, he'd see more metal there. Eddie had hung up the coat he'd been wearing but under that is a hoodie he didn't take off, so Steve can only guess if he ever got those tattoos he'd been planning in high school. His entire outfit is black, which just makes him look sickly in the cabin lighting.

Steve drops himself into the chair facing the couch. It's Melody's favorite chair to curl up in, but Steve thinks she'll forgive him for taking it. There's tension in the room, so he tries to break it. "You look like you've seen a ghost, dude."

Eddie makes a weird nose, almost a whimper or a whine, but before he can say anything, Robin rounds the wall, holding a mug of hot liquid and she says, "Oh, I'm sure he feels that he has. I didn't tell me we were coming to see you."

"Robin!" Steve is shocked.

"What? You said you wouldn't mind getting some closure, so I got him here. Does it matter how?" She takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch from Eddie, making a show of how comfortable she is in the space by sitting cross-legged and leaning back against the couch, in comparison to Eddie who is sitting up completely straight, barely on the couch with how close to the edge he's sitting.

"Yeah, it does! If he's not here voluntarily- if Eddie doesn't want to talk to me you can't-"

"I do," Eddie says. It grabs Steve and Robin's attention and Steve sees Eddie almost wilt under their twin stares. He clears his throat before continuing, "I mean, I would have come still, if she'd told me. I do want to talk to you. Apologize for.... for everything. So much I don't even know where to begin, or how."

"Uhh, this feels like something personal," Dustin says from where he's standing with his own mug, hovering nearby. "Should I be here for this?"

Good question. Steve doesn't care if Robin and Dustin hear what they talk about, but Eddie might. "How about we just relax a bit. How was the drive?"

Eddie scrunches his face, a half confused expression on his face.

"Fine," Robin says at the same time Dustin says, "Tense as fuck."

"Those two things don't seem like they match," Steve says.

Dustin moves to plop himself on the couch in between Eddie and Robin, then quietly curses as his drink sloshes over the edge of the mug. He starts mopping at it with the sleeve of his shirt as he says, "Robin is a liar. The tension in the truck is going to linger that's how bad it was. I'll be feeling the tension every time I get in the rig. Clients will feel the tension when I pull up to their curbs!"

"It was not that bad!" Robin swats Dustin. Successfully this time, since there's no way for him to dodge unless he wants to spill his drink again.

Steve just laughs. "Robs, light of my life, mate of my soul, knowing you and your grudges, Dustin's probably going easy on the description of the tension here."

"Well, there wouldn't be tension if I was allowed to say what I want to say."

"Can we go, like, five minutes without your negativity?"

"My negativity!? I'm not negative, I'm rational and level-headed!"

"You are not sounding very level-headed right now."

Dustin chimes in, "Steve's right. Level-headed people don't have to shout that they're level-headed."

"What say you, Eds?" Steve asks, the old nickname slipping out. He doesn't have time to be embarrassed about it though.

Eddie stands quickly and flings his hands in the air, having reached an invisible limit Steve is unaware of, pacing about the living room as he basically shouts, "Why don't you hate me!? You should hate me! I hate me! I can't- why are you just sitting there, trying to have a-a decent conversation with me? You should be screaming at me! You should be mad! Why aren't you? My fuckin' song ruined your life!"

The silence in the living room is heavy following that, all eyes on Eddie. Even the dogs, who had been in various states of sleep, lift their heads and look in Eddie's direction.

He looks mortified by the out burst, and his face turns red. "I-I'm sorry. I- I'm just, I'm sorry. I need air."

They all watch silently as Eddie jams his shoes back on and goes out the front door without tying them or grabbing his coat.

Steve sighs, deep and annoyed. At Robin and himself. He looks to Robin and she looks shocked by Eddie's outburst. She was watching the door, but turns her head to meet Steve's eye, a small frown on her face.

"Well, it's not like he's going far," Dustin says. "You going after him?"

"I don't know if I should."

Dustin scoffs. "Don't be an idiot, of course you should. We drug that guy to the middle of nowhere to talk to you. He agreed to come to the middle of nowhere even though I could have been a hit man hired by Robin to off him in the woods and he didn't even complain. Didn't even question. I don't know what happened, but I think you two need talk it over."

Steve blinks at Dustin. "Since when did you get so wise?"

"I've always been wise. You just refuse to see it with your ageism. Go. Robin can fill me in on the beef, here in the toasty, cozy cabin, while you two chat in the cold, and freeze your asses off."

"I don't have ageism-"

"Wrong argument to be having, Steve!" Dustin interrupts. "And take another cup of coffee with you. Even if he doesn't drink it, dude doesn't have gloves either so y'know, warm the hands."

Steve does just that. Fills his other thermos with coffee, taking a chance by adding cream and sugar, before putting his boots, coat, and beanie back on. He throws Eddie's coat over his arm and tucks both thermos' against his body with that same arm so he can have a free hand to open the door.

Eddie isn't far. He's pacing back and forth in front of the truck, talking to himself.

Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Steve steps off the porch and makes his way to Eddie. "Hey."

The pacing stops and Eddie turns to look at Steve. They just look at each other as Steve approaches. Steve doesn't stop until he's close enough to reach out and touch before he shuffles the two thermos's to his other arm and extends the one with Eddie's coat on it out.

"Thank you," Eddie says, taking the coat and shoving himself into it quickly.

"Brought you coffee, too," Steve holds out one thermos and after a pause, Eddie takes it, too, then almost instantly brings his other hand up to cradle it, warming his fingers.

He looks up from the thermos and meets Steve's eye. "I am sorry, Steve. I'm sorry for how things ended between us, and for the song I wrote, and for-for not thinking about how people would be able to work out that you were the Steve from Hey Steve. You should hate me for that alone. I'm so sorry for everything that's happened because I didn't think of the consequences."

"I don't- I don't hate you man. Not... not anymore. Not for a long time."

"Well, you should!"

Steve frowns. He wants to argue because who is Eddie to tell him how he should feel? But that's not going to help anything. "When Robin called me. During her interview after the Grammy's and asked if she could tell the truth I never- I didn't know what she meant by the truth. But. Well, nothing she said was a lie, but it wasn't the full story."

Eddie stays silent, seemingly waiting for Steve to continue.

"Those first two years after our breakup were- I'm not going to lie, they were fucking awful. I think I received my first bit of hate mail the very same day Hey Steve released. It was harsh. All from the same person, but sent to my Facebook and my Twitter and Instagram. Guess they really wanted me to read it.

"And then, with each passing day, a new person, new message, just as awful. After three days I deleted Instagram and Twitter. Then I locked down Facebook but like- physical letters showed up at my house. I can't lie, it certainly felt like you'd ruined my life."

Eddie makes a wounded sound at that. "That's because I did! What I did was unforgivable and-"

"You don't get to decide for me if I forgive you or not!" Steve snaps. "I haven't actually said I did forgive you, did I? All I've said is I don't hate you."

That gets Eddie quiet again for a moment, then he says, "you ended up hospitalized because of me."

"Robin said I ended up hospitalized, and that's true, but it wasn't- It was more complicated that just being your, and your fans', fault. For people who were supposedly on 'your side' of our breakup, they used a lot of homophobic language. That's how my mom found out. The letters were easy enough to just get rid of because all the bad shit was on the inside, but someone sent a post card, and mom collected the mail that day. It's... I don't like talking about this."

"Then don't," Eddie is quick to say, "you don't have to explain anything to me, or make yourself relive these events. It's- you don't owe that to me."

"I think I need to. I wrote you a song, said I'd do it all again, and I meant that. I want you to understand why. Just. Just give me a minute."

Eddie nods and takes a sip of his coffee. He looks pleasantly surprised and takes bigger drink before his face falls into a frown as he stares down at the thermos and Steve has to look away. He turns and squeezes his eyes shut to continue. "Mom showed the postcard to my father, and he confronted me that evening. It was.... it didn't start off bad. He asked if it was true. That I was gay. I made a choice, then. I didn't have to; I could have lied. I could have told him I was straight and that I didn't understand what the postcard was saying, but I didn't.

"I knew how he felt about queer people, and I told him the truth anyway. I was bisexual. I thought it was a miracle that he didn't kick me out instantly. Instead, he calmly asked me if that meant I liked woman. I said it meant I liked more than just woman.

"Then he told me that didn't matter. That so long as I liked woman, I would be with a woman, and that we never had to speak of this again. And I told him no. He didn't get to decide that for me. He said that he would rather have a dead son than a faggot one. And I thought- I never- surely he was just meaning, like, metaphorically, right? Like, he'd disown me, kick me out or something so I scoffed and said- God, I was so stupid. I knew it wasn't safe, but I was so angry at him, I shouted 'dead or alive, I'm your faggot son so deal with it.' And he- he said 'dead it is' and he attacked me."

He hears Eddie suck in a breath, hears the crunch of snow in what could only be Eddie taking a step towards him but stopping after just one step. Steve doesn't know if he wants Eddie to close the distance and give him the hug he knows Eddie wants to do. Steve doesn't know if he'd welcome the embrace or not. He sucks in his own shaky breath, and continues, "He almost beat me to death that night. The only reason he didn't was because mom dialed 911," Steve turns around, looks at Eddie and sees the tears falling down his own face reflected on Eddie. "As far as I know, dad's still serving time for his attempted murder, so like, at least I don't have to worry about him. And mom... I don't even know what to think of that.

"She called 911, didn't want to see me die, I guess, but also couldn't have a gay son. She sold the house, and everything in it, while I was still in the hospital, and just... disappeared. Robin's family took me in. She told that story during the interview, you knoe, but I wasn't even at the house when that guy with the gun showed up. I was meeting with a lawyer.

"She-Mom was- I don't know what she was trying to do but she gave me the family business. The whole company! It felt like she was trying to buy my forgiveness, except she didn't ask for it and still hasn't contacted me. It's like... she felt guilty about what happened but hated me at the same time. Felt she needed to do something to alleviate her guilt? Or maybe she just wanted to cut herself free of the whole Harrington name; free herself from me and my father. I don't think I'll ever get closure for that one."

Steve quits talking, needs to take another moment. He'd already rambled on about more than he meant to but talking to Eddie had always done that to him. Afterall, before they dated, they'd been friends. He sips at his coffee, not knowing what else to say.

"Jesus, Stevie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know- It's no excuse but I'm just so sorry."

He doesn't think Eddie knows he called him Stevie, but it's nice to hear. "So, see, it wasn't your fault. Your song set things into motion, for sure, so it's nice to hear an apology, but like, if anyone is the bad guy in this situation, it's Richard Harrington."

"But Robin said she just had to help you move to here. That you still get hate mail, and doxxed. That's on me. I saw your list of addresses, Steve! You've had to move, like, eight times a year!"

Steve can't help the cackle that springs from him. He surprises himself with the laugh, and Eddie, too, if his wide eyes and eyebrows hidden behind his bangs are any indication. "I- yeah, I move a lot. And yes, this most recent move was because of a brick with Hey Steve scratched into it broke my living room window, but like, I've only had to move because of harassment like, four times, if I'm counting the whole mom-selling-the-house thing."

"What?"

Steve holds up a finger, adding a new one as he counts them out. "Mom sold house. Scary gun guy at Robin's. The year anniversary of your first album's release. I was still in Hawkins, figuring out what to do with all the money I'd, uhh, inherited I guess, so I was easy to find. And the most recent one. Not sure what inspired it this time. Usually, the hate mail resurges when you go on tour, but it's less and less every time. Anyway, none of those other moves are because of crazy fans."

Eddie blinks at him, a picture of confusion. "But I found a YouTube video and that guy- he showed all your old addresses. He said- I thought..."

"Well, there are a lot of addresses. But not because of your fans. I move for my job. Do you... did you even read the truck?" Steve gestures to Dustin's truck and Eddie steps around to see the printed H&H Project Flip and below that is their website.

Eddie looks back to Steve like that answers nothing. Which, fair, but it would answer a lot of questions if Eddie had looked up the website. "After that surge of anniversary hate, I knew I needed to get out of Hawkins. Robin was graduated, then, and headed to college. I decided I wanted to see more than just Hawkins. I followed Robin to college in Chicago, and uh, bought a house. A real fixer upper but that was fine. I had plenty of money to throw into it. On a whim I thought, what if I try to fix it. I had a lot of free time and if it ended up badly, I could afford to pay a professional to fix whatever I broke. I found that I loved doing that."

He's still just being looked at like he's not making sense.

Steve rolls his eyes, "I flip houses, dude. Me and Dustin. Harrington and Henderson Project Flip. I was in Chicago for three years, lots of addresses for that city. But then Robin pointed out there were a lot of states. That I should see all 50 of 'em by renovating a house in each. She'd moved in with her then-girlfriend by this time, so she said I should go. See the States at the least. So, I did. I find it easier to just live in the house I'm renovating, so I'm not paying mortgage and then rent somewhere else in the same city."

Eddie looks like he's had a rug pulled out from under him and he lets out a laugh that's a little hysterical.

"And moving so much has allowed me to meet so many amazing people, y'know? I got friends in all the states. So, like, yeah, you did ruin my life, but like, just my life from 18 to 20. So, yeah, I'd do it all again. Did you think I've been living in perpetual misery for the last ten years?"

"Robin certainly made it easy to assume that, so yeah!"

"I think she did that on purpose. To hurt you back."

"I deserve it," Eddie says. "I didn't even try to check in on you. Well, once, but when I couldn't find you on any socials I just. Gave up."

Steve shrugs. "I didn't reach out either. And if you'll remember, I broke up with you. Screamed in your face that we were over and went home."

"I don't know when, or even if, Corroded Coffin will tour again, but I swear to you, we'll never play or release Hey Steve again. And I'll release a statement, or go on camera, or something, and address this. I can't make it right, but I can make a change starting now, to do better and be better," Eddie says this while gripping his thermos to death.

"I believe you, and I forgive you."

Eddie nods grimly, then looks from Steve to the cabin, and back to Steve. "Do you think Robin will ever forgive me?"

"I don't know. You hurt her pretty badly, too. We were all best friends in school and when we broke up, you cut off Robin, too. And then, when she started to gain her own fame- I think when she first moved to LA, she thought you'd try to reach out. But you never did."

A silence falls over them, and Steve refuses to break it. He's done enough talking. They drink their coffees 'til they're empty before Eddie speaks.

"Where does this leave us?"

Steve thinks about it before answering. "You were my best friend before you were my boyfriend. You'd been in my life longer than you've been out of it. We don't have to be anything. We can have our closure and go our separate ways, if you'd prefer. But, I think I'd like another chance at being your friend."

"I can do friend," Eddie says slowly, like he's picking his words carefully. "I can. But, full transparency, I think I still love you."

It hurts to hear, after all the pain and the time, and it's a bittersweet kind of hurt. "I'll always love you, Eds. I meant it, you know, every word of the song. But I don't know if we can, or should, try again. We were so good until we weren't."

Tears spring from Eddie's eyes when Steve says he loves him, and they don't stop falling even as he's nodding along with everything Steve says. "No, I know. I know. I just, I needed you to know. Friend is, it's so fucking great. More than I ever expected, and certainly more than I dared hope."

"Come on. Let's go inside where it's warm and chat with Dustin and Robin like civilized people. I need a break from the heavy talk."

"Yeah. Me too. Thank you, Steve. For the chance."

Steve shrugs and shoots him a crooked grin. "Yeah, well, ruin this a second time and Robin will rip you to shreds on live TV, probably."

There's more to talk about. More hurts to heal and things to discuss, Steve knows. And maybe after all the talking, they'll learn they've changed too much to even be friends. But that'll be okay, because if that's how it goes, it'll be because they talked it out instead of screaming at each other in a living room.

If they've changed too much, this time, it'll end gently.

It doesn't stop Steve from letting a little bit of hope in. That this won't end, that they can find a way to be in each other's lives again.

As friends, or more.

#steddie #my fic #the interview #prepare yourself for the whiplash of a full tonal shift in the story as we switch to steves POV #tw: homophobia #tw: assault #Steve discusses his assault/subsequent hospitalization. I tried to not go into too much detail but proceed with caution if thats a trigger #there is also the use of the word faggot as a slur #also! there is a point where steve casually says robin has a girlfriend #this is NOT an accidental outing. Robin is an out and proud lesbian singer/song writer/grammy winner #also.... maybe there will be an epilogue? I am debating.#if you wanna be informed on the epilogue #subscribe to the fic on ao3 cause it'll alert you if i add another chapter

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ganondoodle · 7 months

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didnt want to talk about it but i feel like im actually going insane

anti-queer laws are popping up everywhere, fascism is on the rise in every country around me, including my own which is famous for the atrocities of its past that happened not even 100 years ago and only got this far bc no one thought he'd get through with it

a pandemic that WASNT defeated and is STILL around and endangering everyone yet nigh everyone acts like its a thing of the past

the entire creativity of humanity being stolen and chewed up in a maschine so companies can make an endless shitty new schlock of media to pay even less to even less people and earn more or for some entitled tech bros thinking that all art is is the jpeg on screen deluding themselves into believing they now have a privilege denied to them by the talent-god even tho that god never existed and the only one who denies them the ability to make art is themselves

the climate visibly going haywire and few things are done against it, if at all even

and now i am watching a genocide happen while every piece of media joins into the propaganda of the oppressor, of course i dont think hamas is good, a terror organisation is a terror organisation no matter who they claim to fight for, and i am not defending them, hell no, but why are we being told to cheer on an entire country being wiped out for something a small group did, knowing that wiping palestine from existence has been the goal of israel all this time and this has now given them a good excuse and international support to finish it off?? the war russia started agaisnt ukraine is still ongoing, isnt there also a genocide happenign in armenia? and one against a minority in china as well?? probably even more i havent even heard about..

i didnt know about the details of whats happening to palestine until a few days ago either but now, on top of everything, i feel like im losing it, what even is happening, how am i supposed to just .. go on with my daily life while all of that is going on, not losing your faith into humanity has become a real challenge over these last few years even tho i know its vital to keep it alive bc the pit of thinking its all lost anyway is deep and only makes things worse for everyone

#ganondoodles talks #personal #tw genocide #tw genocide mention #im sorry for that sudden shift in tone #i just #its making my brain hurt #i am trying not to doomscroll #and limit what i read and see #but i also want to stay informed #i just wish people could let people live #or better ... that these kinds of regimes never got the power to do shit like this #so many lives - culture and history deliberately destroyed for what #for what????#i might be less online for a bit bc its hard to stomach all of this constantly

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silo1013 · 10 months

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salvaged from the office fire in 1998

#my art #the x files #dana scully #fox mulder #alex krycek #i was talking about this on twitter yesterday but #i have a LOTTTTTT a lot of thought about this part of season two #mainly because i think that while scully probably realized she was never going to find peace ever again after emily #i do believe that the last time mulder ever thought everything would be okay was right before scully’s abduction #which is also kind of why i think mulder was closer to killing himself in ascension than in gethsemane #at the end of season four mulder is kind of resigned to his and scully’s lives unravelling #he’s more suspicious and slower to trust then he ever was #while ascension was the first time he was like. Oh okay. It’s over for us forever and ever #and the fact that he was still open and still kind of okay before that just kind of makes it worse #that he was just betrayed and left hanging and lost everyone he thought he had in one fell swoop #ascension jades the fuck out of him and you can see it. like through the whole series there are threads of it #his tendency to rely on skinner regresses for a while. he becomes even less functional when scully is gone.#he has far less patience for his informants and he refuses to rely on anyone the way he tried to on krycek #like it’s just. such an obvious shift in his character that you can tell his mindset about his and scully’s life has changed #and that’s a huge part of the show’s tragedy i think. there is no peace. there is no rest. it’s never going to be okay

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whetstonefires · 1 month

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I think a part of the reason I feel so connected to JGY and XY is that I, too, think everyone is lying about what a good person they are. Sure, there may be a few genuinely good people, but those are in the minority and never claim the title.

I don't know about never; some people are pretty straightforward.

And in some ways the whole point of the concept of 'a good person' is that the feeling of losing the right to consider yourself one can impose instinctive recoil from doing wrong, in situations where you don't have the leisure of working your way through an ethics diagram and choosing the logically moral path before reacting to a situation. It has practical utility.

But that system can backfire pretty horribly too, in a lot of ways. It can be hijacked by definitions of 'good' that actually make you recoil from ethical acts because they're deviant. It can lead to disappearing up your own ass lmao.

And definitely the threshold for 'talking about how you're a good person' enough that it makes you suspect as either a) a liar or b) someone who values that self-image over objective reality and other people's wellbeing is. Not very high.

Jin Guangyao, ironically, is one of those people who's so performatively A Good Person in his public life that in retrospect it looks like a red flag. Which knowing this about himself in an ongoing fashion ofc just reinforces his own cynicism about everyone else lmao.

Even Lan Xichen, who I think he may see as a genuinely good person, he also sees as an easy mark who will reliably choose what is comfortable over what is 'right,' if you just structure the scenario to make that an easy choice that's easy for him to justify.

Xue Yang's bitterness is in many ways more exciting than Jin Guangyao's because he has a way more unusual relationship to reality, but it does share a lot of notes.

The role of deception in his psychology fascinates me because as far as I can tell he's as instinctively straightforward a person as Lan Wangji, albeit along quite different lines involving a total lack of impulse control, but has adopted 'deceit' as a weapon against the wicked world in the same way he has adopted 'murder.'

But when he feels someone is not merely lying but papering over bad behavior with principles they are not living up to he is livid.

People claiming to be better than him because they're 'good' when 'good' is a construct of privilege, is the underlying idea he's not equipped to articulate. Except he takes that and applies it to 'hitting me to interrupt my random murder of some guy who happened to be within arm's reach when I wanted to hurt someone.'

Which isn't like philosophically perfect, but the underlying problem he's actually reacting to is that he understands the social contract as a lie that has never protected him but seeks to control him, while protecting rich men it has no power to control.

Which it is fair to be mad about, but then his feeling is that since that's the nature of the world and all people, he is entitled to amass for himself the power to inflict hurt without consequences as much as he possibly can, and to use it against the vulnerable for fun, and no one is entitled to interfere.

Which brings him to a place where he is violently angry at anyone talking about trying to treat other people well as a value, because either they're a hypocrite and a liar or they threaten his entire system of rationalization for why he can be The Worst and still In The Right.

'Everyone is equally bad, actually' is like, an understandable take for anyone who's had cause to become embittered. Everyone is free to make whatever philosophical peace they can with the world and by and large there's no ethical weight to any such opinion, in itself.

But it's an ideological crutch people tend to wind up leaning on very heavily when they can't or don't want to take responsibility for their own behavior.

Which is an approach that Xue Yang, Jin Guangyao, and Su She all share, and which not only is shitty of them, it...traps them in a wheel of doubling down on their own worst impulses because rather than going 'that was bad and I shouldn't do it again' they've repeatedly invested all this energy into making what they did actually the correct thing, according to their interpretation of the context. Which means they're more likely to do it again.

(I think this is how Jin Guangyao became a serial killer, for example. He followed a doing-a-murder-impulse and then internally doubled down on how he had nothing to be ashamed of, so he was more likely to do it again, every time.

Wei Wuxian's strain of self-righteousness about his revenge was less...thorough than Jin Guangyao's, because he had the benefit of going after people on the opposite side of a war from him while Meng Yao's first known murder plot was against a shitty boss. But it probably didn't help him not try to solve army-shaped problems with mass murder, even after that stopped being allowed.)

If any of them had just like, zero moral sensibilities they would have created very different problems, and very possibly fewer of them. It's making a central goal of your operations 'self-vindication in your own internal narrative, created retroactively via reframing' rather than 'figuring out what I think I should do and trying to do that' that traps them in the self-reinforcing murder pissbaby vortex.

So if you look at it one way, these three villains are themselves perfect examples of how pursuit of the 'feeling of being good' (or at least 'not the bad guy') can make you worse.

Notably Wei Wuxian was also extremely sensitive to hypocrisy in his youth; it was the only part of Madam Yu's behavior he was ever shown objecting to. But he's sufficiently mellow and cynical from regret and burnout by the 'present' timespan after his resurrection to just get disgusted and alienated about it, rather than outraged.

He wasn't even all that mad at Xue Yang, though honestly that may be partly because he stopped entirely characterizing him as a person at some point during their interaction. Like, there's no point being angry at someone whose moral sensibilities operate exclusively on the plane of 'is this unfair to me' for manipulating and destroying people who were good to him, and then getting obsessed with his own self-pity about it. This is not a person who understands how not to be, metaphorically speaking, a cannibal.

And Wei Wuxian did know better and still got roughly the same result, so what business does he have getting angry?

Anyway yeah those two villains are both delightfully relatable if you sit down and put their perspectives together; they are clearly operating with the same basic suite of human needs and emotions as everybody else, without that being in itself particularly exculpatory, which is honestly refreshing. They've just got the most fantastically toxic interpersonal habits that knowing them counts as some level of Suffering A Curse.

Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang do both stand as scathing rebukes of the society that created them. But within the narrative, wherein they're people, the fact is that each of them had agency and one of the things they chose to do with it was develop rationales for why they were the most special little guy and everything was someone else's fault.

And their moral nihilisms, while also grounded in serious trauma, ping me as emotional masturbation of this variety.

#ask #hoc est meum #Anonymous #rambling about ethics and villains lol #this isn't an organized essay but it's the best i'm going to manage #wei wuxian #xue yang #jin guangyao #meta #mdzs #this is why wwx is not that invested in how the underlying machinations made his bad choices 'not his fault' btw #spending too much time chewing your own vomit narrows your view until you can only be selfish #jiang cheng is also somewhat trapped in the pissbaby vortex #but he did get deliberately stuck there by people who loved him (his mom and wwx mostly)#and he has much higher standards than the villains about who he takes it out on and how #and there is a non-zero chance he will claw his way out post-canon #which none of those three was ever going to do no matter how much time and paradigm shifting information you gave them #so i cut him more slack

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lazycranberrydoodles · 10 months

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every time he steps into the kitchen he invents a new health code violation

follow for more. whatever this is

#happy 800 followers. more xie lian giving people food poisoning yay #you guyses tags were so good on the original #i was inspired #there is an informational sign banning him from the kitchen. hes caused 3 separate grease fires #he got the nickname the white clothed calamity because he made the soft serve machine explode #how is hua cheng still alive at this point tbh.#lmao imagine a no magic modern au but the toxicity of xl’s cooking necessitates that hua cheng still be a ghost somehow #also!! sqx!! she tries to make her uniform as cute as possible #whenever swd comes around they argue about the dress code #sqx has also been decorating he xuan’s uniform against his will #the beefleaf arc here is that it turns out he xuan doesnt actually work here. he just works shifts to gain sqx/swd’s trust #when this is revealed they have a fistfight in the parking lot #all three get fired #instead of he xuan giving back the fan he gives back the apron she bedazzled :(#sorry for making you think about beefleaf on the mcdonalds doodle. lmao #xie lian #tgcf #art #tgcf mcdonalds au #digital art #my art #mxtx #tian guan ci fu #shi qingxuan #hob #heaven official’s blessing #lmao #tgcf meme

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aldoodles · 1 year

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January - Information

#doomsyear23 #httyd #httyd books #how to train your dragon #how to train your dragon books #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #book!hiccup #despite having a month to work on this I surprisingly had like no time to work on this #so we’re gonna throw it out into the world #al chatters #my art #fanart #i tried a little perspective shift effect on the photo I hope it worked on #*ok #ANYWAYS I love how this conversation between the green death and hiccup indicated that cressida was keeping some information from us

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worldunbent · 4 days

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a difference between the experience of reading the natsuyuu manga and watching the anime which is only interesting to me is that there's no distinction between special chapters and regular ones in the anime. the reason i find that interesting is that the specials are, so far in my reread, the only chapters that spend any time completely outside of natsume's POV. when we see other characters' perspectives in regular chapters, it's typically part of an extended monologue or a memory being transmitted to natsume, so we're still not really leaving his perspective. the only times we leave his POV are when he's physically not present in a scene, and in those instances we usually don't get any narration or interior monologue from the other characters.

tanuma in "a suspicious visitor" is the only exception i can think of off the top of my head, though i'm sure there are others i'll get to and just don't remember at the moment. the scene between matoba and ban at the end of the homura arc, for example, is outside of natsume's POV by necessity but is pure dialogue with no interior narration because these are not characters to whom we have that kind of access! (for more on matoba's elusive subjectivity see sp15, says tumblr user worldunbent.)

the special chapters jump all over the place; so far i've gotten to chapters from the perspectives of little fox, an unnamed youkai, nyanko, tanuma, and hinoe (although hinoe's chapter is framed as a story she's telling natsume, so it could have fit in a regular chapter). they have a separate numbering system from the regular chapters, are much shorter, and almost always come at the end of volumes*. in the anime, however, there's absolutely nothing to distinguish the episodes adapting the specials from the ones adapting regular chapters other than the POV shifts, which gives anime-only viewers a very different impression of how the series approaches character interiority. i don't think there's anything wrong with this as an adaptation move and it's pretty much necessary, but it's just notable because in a series that's all about how people see the world differently, the choice to make such a distinction between chapters in the protagonist's POV and chapters from everyone else's POV is a significant one.

the reason i'm paying so much attention to POVs in this reread in the first place is because i've been listening to the podcast media club plus and jack, who is pretty new to anime, keeps pointing out the constant perspective shifts in hunter x hunter and the other hosts are like, "yeah, that's normal." this post from another listener expands on how and why it works as a genre norm in shonen battle anime/manga specifically. so now i'm just cursed to be hyperaware of POV shifts in anime/manga, and given that the three series i'm reading/watching at the moment are hxh, dungeon meshi, and natsuyuu, natsuyuu really stands out in how rarely it leaves natsume's head in the regular chapters. i guess i need to go read some more shoujo for a larger sample size lol

*i have a chapter spreadsheet 🤓 and the exceptions to this are sp18, which is just stuck in the middle of v22, sp20, which is the second-to-last chapter of v24, and sp21, which is the first chapter of v25. i understand the placement of sp20, which is "intermission detectives" and makes sense to have as an break between regular chapters, but i'll have to figure out what sp18&21 are doing when i get to them.

#i think as i get to more plot-heavy arcs with more characters there will be some POV shifts within regular chapters #but either it hasn't happened yet in what i've reread or i haven't noticed lol #natsuyuu.txt #the conversation between ban and matoba is fun to me because it's one of those only times in a regular chapter #that the reader gets access to concrete information that natsume doesn't have #there are definitely other moments like this such as the locked room in the miharu arc #but that's more about characterization and vibes.#after 100 chapters midorikawa is finally like you can have some dramatic irony. as a treat.

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frankiefreakazoid · 6 months

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other people's doubts and limits are not your problem

y'all are 10x more quick to believe somebody's limits than you are somebody's success, that's why you're still stuck where you were last year

#void state #law of assumption #neville goddard #posting this for myself #don't take offense to this it's just something i need to hear personally #i am also not a loa blog don't follow me #the loa community scares me 👸🏼#but i still believe in loa #i also have beef with Neville goddard not saying he's lying but y'all gotta stop getting all of ur information from an old white guy #do ur own research #ok that's it #loassumption #shiftblr #reality shifting

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hella1975 · 4 months

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realised i haven't caught you guys up with current affairs (work gossip) yet so here's a highlight reel:

bartender that used to be the manager's absolute fave hasn't been working in months and i never questioned why bc he was a pretty flakey worker so i just assumed he went elsewhere/finally got sacked off. turns out over the years he's worked there he's been stealing from the till, to the point the total stolen amount is £16k+ and it's now an ongoing police investigation. saw a copper in the office first shift back for xmas and got told to 'not worry about it'

30-something-year-old manager with a fiance and a child is having an ongoing fling with an 18 year old waitress

same manager apparently went to prison for 9 months bc he caught his old girlfriend with another man and battered him for it. so fun!!!

my favourite kp is STILL ON PROBATION FREE MY WOMAN SHE DID NOTHING WRONG-

all of the college kids are beefing each other? idk im not getting involved but i've heard every angle from every person at least five times

one waitress got so drunk last night (after she clocked off thank god) (not that that makes this any better actually) that she pissed in the gutter outside the restaurant... in front of the cctv

we all saw the cctv

#all information gathered in the last two shifts. i know there's more from the 2/3 weeks ive been working but honestly #i cant even keep up anymore. it's just run of the mill at this point #the sillies!#hella slaves to capitalism

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solaariia · 23 days

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the self-fulfilling prophecy and the power of the spoken word

hellour again! i’m free these days, so i’d thought i’d make another long post; this time about the self-fulfilling prophecy and how Florence Scovel Shinn writes about a similar concept in her book The Game of Life and How to Play it. specifically, in the third chapter.

i really like Scovel Shinn’s works, especially because she was one of the pioneers of the New Thought school at the time, even before Neville. it’s clear that she was a very wise metaphysical author, and more people should give her some credit!

i love my major, and i love manifestation. so any chance i have to correlate both is one i will take!

remember the academic book i got this information from is Social Psychology 11th Edition authored by Kassin, Fein and, H.R. Markus. i’ll try to condense the information to make it less convoluted and understandable.

what is the self-fulfilling prophecy?

according to sociologist Robert Merton, the self-fulfilling prophecy is a process by which one’s expectation about someone will eventually lead to that person behaving in ways that confirm those expectations. in other words, the perceiver's (person who takes note of another) expectation can actually lead to its own fulfillment, a self fulfilling prophecy.

this hypothesis actually lay dormant until Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, published the results of their research in a book titled Pygmalion in the Classroom.

what did this study consist of? well, these researchers noticed that teachers had higher expectations for students who performed better in the classroom and they wondered whether these expectations influenced student performance rather than the other way around.

to address the question, they told teachers in a San Francisco elementary school that certain pupils were on the verge of an intellectual growth spurt. the results of an IQ test were cited, but in fact, the pupils had been randomly selected. eight months later, when real tests were administered, the "late bloomers" exhibited an increase in their IQ scores compared with children assigned to a control group. they were also evaluated more favorably by their classroom teachers (Kassin 144).

why should we be careful about what we say?

we can transform our expectations of others into reality using a three-step process:

- first, a perceiver forms an impression of a target person, which may be based on interactions with the target or on other information.

- second, the perceiver behaves in a manner that is consistent with that first impression.

- third, the target person unwittingly adjusts his or her behavior to the perceiver's actions. The net result is behavioral confirmation of the first impression.

in simpler terms, what we think is what we project onto others. that process is called the confirmation bias. this is nothing more than the perceiver asking the target person questions that confirm their beliefs. for example, if we assume that a person is in a varsity team because of the jacket they’re wearing, we will ask them things that either confirm or deny that assumption. small things like these that we do unconsciously:

“are you on the basketball team?”

“do you go to blank university?”

we can also apply this to ourselves:

(shown on a pic because i don’t wanna copy paste the info :D)

using psychology to tie into the law and my previous long post about the self-concept, we can see why words and the way we perceive ourselves is important when we reprogram our minds into thinking in a more positive light.

Florence Scovel Shinn, The Game of Life and How to Play It

chapter III, The Power of the Word

“By thy words shalt be justified, and by thy words shalt be condemned.”

what does Scovel Shinn say about the spoken word?

in her first book The Game of Life and How to Play It, she mentions a saying that reads: “man only dares use his words for three purposes: to heal, bless or prosper.” she also mentions that what man says of others will be said of him, and what he wishes for another, he is wishing for himself (Scovel 24).

“Curses, like chickens, come home to roost.”

what does this mean? well, like we saw in the bit about the self-fulfilling prophecy, what we say about others is what we attract for ourselves. for example, if we wish ill on—say—another tumblr user, we are sure to receive it as well. on the other hand, if we are kind to one another and support our journeys with manifestation, we will be able to reach our own success.

edward art mentions this too. but he calls it something more simple. love.

Scovel Shinn mentions in this chapter that when the subconscious is flooded with good things, or words in this case, the superconscious (God or imagination) and man are one.

“It is safe to say that all sickness and happiness come from the violation of the Law of Love.”

in this story she mentions an actress with a terrible skin disease:

as we can see in this story, any problems in the outside world indicate a deeper issue in the mind.

“As the within, so the without.”

why do i say that Florence Scovel Shinn’s beliefs coincide with the self-fulfilling prophecy?

we know that the self fulfilling prophecy implies that the way we perceive others is the way they will reflect on the outside. this is what the good-will Scovel Shinn mentions is about.

"But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you and persecute you."

conclusion

sometimes we get jealous of others' journeys. we read a success story and wonder “what am i doing wrong? maybe if i do what this person did i will manifest all my desires.” but remember we’re all different. what works for another might not work for us, and that’s okay :)

the beauty about spirituality is that we all have our own paths to follow, each with their unique experiences. trying out techniques you don’t like because you saw them in a “this is the fastest way to manifest” video will not fulfill you. and what doesn’t fulfill you will only make you give up.

i’ve seen this thrown around loablr and shiftblr, but i’ll reiterate in this post. please don’t police others on their journey. the only thing that will do is set you back.

next time you see a success story around the community, be happy for them! if anything, it’s a great thing to see on your dash because it's proof that the law always works in your favor. every time. so let’s wish each other well, practice gratitude, and focus on ourselves!

"There is peace on earth for him who sends goodwill to man!"

ps im plugging the song i listened to while writing this post because sharing is caring. take care!

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redgoldblue · 4 months

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for the drabble spotify wrapped game, if you want: i rolled my rainbow d10 twice and we have a 75 🌈

❤️ 🌈

75: America's Sweetheart by Elle King

uh. I don't know where this came from. i apologise, my partner-in-fluff 🫡

Also I am obviously not abiding by the technical 100-word definition of drabble here, but instead the much looser 'short piece of writing'.

spotify wrapped drabbles!

Steve doesn't know when he stopped caring about killing people. It didn't bother him until he started caring again.

It's not anyone unusual, is the thing that gets him. It's a nameless, almost-faceless drug smuggler that he didn't even mean to kill, but he shot with intent to disable and a little too much carelessness in a rush to stop the ship they came in on, and when he finally loops back around there's a pool of blood and a corpse with a busted femoral artery.

He's kneeling down, checking a pulse even though it's clearly absent, removing weapons even though he'll clearly have no use for them, when his fingers brush against a thin edge in the inside pocket of the off-the-rack grey suit jacket the guy's wearing.

When he pulls it out, it's a photo. He has to look down to check that it's the same guy in it, partially because death rictus changes a face, especially when your comparison is smiling and happy, and partially because he just hasn't looked at his face properly. It's the same guy, his arm around a similarly smiling woman shoulder-height to him and so close in features she has to be his sister, with a chubby-cheeked frizzy-haired kid straddling his shoulders and holding onto the woman's hand.

One of the first things the military teaches you, explicitly or not, is to erase personhood. Your own, and your enemy's. Numbers, statistics, body parts and targets and usefulness.

He puts the photo back into the dead man's jacket and moves away. A tech comes at some point, body-bags him, and Duke is there and the rest of his team have it well in hand, so he goes back to where their cars are parked, boosts himself onto the hood of the truck, and waits.

Kono walks past at some point, but they're still in the midst of cleanup and HPD handover, so even though she does slow and ask, "You okay, boss?", when he replies in the affirmative she nods and keeps moving.

He remembers himself before. He remembers when it would never would have occurred to him not to think that every person with a bullet in them is a person with a family. A person with a life, at least before they were a person with a death.

He doesn't bother trying to count. The impulse washes over him, but it would take hours with military records and Five-0 reports to calculate anything even close to accuracy.

Himself before was decades ago, but also not that long ago. It was target practice at the Academy and work behind computers in Military Intelligence and crawling through mud with a similarly young Freddie by his side.

Himself after, apparently, is sitting on his own truck at the edge of his own city watching his family and his family's family and his friends and his friends' friends move efficiently through shipping containers and body bags.

Eventually, Danny finds him. He takes one look at Steve's face; he doesn't say anything, just leans against the hood next to Steve and waits.

Eventually, Steve finds the words. "I don't think the military would like me anymore, Danny."

It's not all that new a state of affairs; he got driven by revenge and tattoos in non-regulation places and too many personal attachments and he remembered how to have fun in quiet spaces and how to love in loud ones. He started caring again.

"Good," Danny says, harsh and definite, and Steve realises with a start that the things that would debase him in the eyes of his country are probably exactly the same reasons Danny - not just Danny, his whole family - would cite for loving him. Except the tattoos, maybe.

He can't bring himself to be upset about it in the face of that.

#Hawaii Five 0 #Steve McGarrett #character study #that's not true i know a little bit where this came from #we rewatched waiwai last night which is the first time in like four seasons that steve does something truly unhinged to a suspect #(shoots the russian spy in his hospital room)#and i was thinking about how he does it left right and fucking centre in s1 #whereas by s6 it is very clear that he's only doing it bc Cath is in serious danger if they don't get that information #and the mental shifts that had to occur for that #anyway we're canonising Alex's tramp stamp for the purposes of lyrical accuracy #my writing #fanfiction #mine #tag games #sensitive flower #if you'd gotten one higher it would've been atlantic city and i truly don't know what i would have done with that

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shifterstars · 3 months

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Pshifting and Sex, GROUND FLOOR.

This series is for educational purposes only, but does not claim to be the end all to be all on this topic. Please do your own research first.

Welcome to the GROUND FLOOR. Here, we will discuss our primary topic; Pshifting and Sex. This topic has four ground floor stages, the first one being Shifter Bodies, second is Sexuality in Nature, third is Knowing Boundaries, and fourth is Safety.

Let's Begin.

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SHIFTER BODIES.

A shifter is someone who "physically (or much less commonly) spiritually transforms into another being". ("Terminology")

Both spiritual and physical are physical attributes to a body, given that spiritual is defined as metaphysical alongside regular physical experiences. A shifter is not a monolith, just like the human world, shifters have varying "true forms" and "morphed bodies". Each body looks, on the outside, similar to a human body. Many shifters struggle with dysmorphia, and feelings of not being a real shifter based on the fact that they do not or never have shifted before. Due to this, the human body may or may not be a trigger to some shifters. Some may prefer to act more animalistic or allow themselves outside time where they can shift. This relieves that dysphoria/dysmorphia.

Some theories suggest that the shifter's body changes due to hormones, some others claim magic, and others say it is simply your genetic make up. Due to the truth not being accurately studied, and only theories being used, we will be at the universal idea that it is simply physical and that is all it is- without forcing any of the major theoretical ideals.

The various types of physical includes (the ones we mentioned) metaphysical and physical, subcategories of such are spiritual, astral, aural, somatic, beserker shifts, sensory, and exolimb shifts. If you experience these shifters, you are not a shifter until you say you are and until those physical affects permanently change your body. Many alterhumans, a group of humans who are not fully aligned with the human experience, may claim that their spiritual or sensory shifts don't last permanently. By all means, they are not shifters. It is a self-identified label first, and a function later. Permanently means permanently. As in, a spiritual shift that changes your metaphysical body to grow wings or change eye colors. A physical shift that changes the way you walk forever. That's permanence.

Shifters and their bodies seem to be the most discussed topic across all pshifting sites and blogs, but many forget that there are adults in the shifter community that want to feel good about their bodies, and they do want to see more representation of diverse bodies in shapeshifter media. Some adults may indulge in pshifting with others around them for safety, as all should, but when it comes to the sexual appeal of these shifter bodies, many think it is too taboo. There's a hard line to cross between feral, and anthro. Feral doesn't include just four legs on the floor, it includes the inability to speak, consent, and/or write. Anthro can be on four legs, but are usually on two, they have the ability to write, speak, and/or consent. Those two categories are helpful for some who do feel guilty about the appeal towards our shifted bodies due to them being "animalistic". You would not call a cartoon dog real, so why apply real standards to them in order to prevent a real issue with real animals? Not only are fictional and healthy outputs safer for those with none, but most people who are geared towards that (not saying all or most shifters are), seek help for paraphilias and find it not to be disordered. Safety over society's morals saves lives, not just human lives.

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SEXUALITY IN NATURE

Thoughout time, sex and sexuality have been concepts undivided. They were not picky, or dictated by society, nor were they specifically seen as wrong. The only truth was that the puzzle pieces for making children varied based on species. A lion always has to have a lioness to make cubs, but that doesn't mean that the lion can't truly love another lion. This also varies when your species has the ability to change sexes or gender. A ftm lion is still a lion, but now has the ability to birth cubs. If that ftm lion chooses another lion to mate with, that lion doesn't need a lioness because they have a lion who can give birth. Sexuality is fluid, and there have always been same sex couples in the wild. From courting, mating, mounting, it is all love and signs of varying behaviours. Some animals like the dolphin sometimes will masturbate without the need for reproduction, which begs the question... if all nature is inherently existing with the need of pleasure and a fluid sexuality without worry, why do human beings restrict themselves so?

Many shifters also do the same, restricting themselves, but many have found it easier to let go and find the beauty in their own sexuality. By nature, shifters are extremely wild and given that they have merged into society means that there are limited options for them when expressing such sexuality. Yet, many of us have been avoiding the attention of humankind for a while.

Shifters can be straight, but they can also be gay, bi, lesbian, asexual, transgender, perisex, intersex, and much more. We are not a monolith, and we are not all young teens. So we find ourselves engaging in sex or pleasurable things at all stages of our life. Some shifters may choose to masturbate while shifted, others may not. Just like all animals, shifters don't just mate to reproduce. Some lack the partnership to mate in the first place while others don't seem to want that. It's important to know how your body feels and what is best for you. Some shifters hump, some buck, and some rub- but what matters is that they also set boundaries for themselves and others.

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KNOWING BOUNDARIES.

If you as a shifter feels uncomfortable with not shifting during sex, they are welcome to stay in their shifted form, but the boundaries they must set with their partner(s) matter more. You may think that it feels good for all parties, but at some point, you have to be an adult and ask;

Does this work for you?

It's not because you are valuing their pleasure over yours, but you're valuing the safety of their body. Say a bear shifter and a feline shifter are together, and they want to shift during sex. Sure, it may work depending on preexisting factors, but to make sure, those two have to do a size check. Size checks are similar to making sure everything will work. It doesn't account for what gender, or sex you are, it matters. A bear shifter that tops will most likely have trouble if they are the actual size of a bear and not a human-sized one. The same applies to the feline shifter in that being a receiver or giver.

This is how you set boundaries during sexual intercourse. Planned Parenthood describes boundaries as "the line between what you’re cool with and what’s not OK with you. If you’re not comfortable with something happening to you or around you, that means you have a boundary between yourself and that thing." ("Sexual Boundaries: How to Set Them")

Sexual boundaries should be formally set before sex, but they can be enforced during sex as a quick reaction. If a shifter wants to bite you, a quick "no" is setting a boundary between what you're comfortable with and what you're not. Boundaries aren't just what you're doing during sex, it can be your clothing, showing your body, respecting choices, and understanding what hurts and what doesn't. If your boundaries are being pushed, do not let them do so. Shifters are born into human society, and even if they are allowed an inch of what you, another shifter, have- there should be boundaries to protect. Protect yours first. It doesn't matter if they too are a shifter, it is your body.

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SAFETY.

Finding places online and offline like friend-owned packs, cool and calm websites, safety guides for shifters, and much more can boost your confidence. As well as your own safety while shifting. Harloqui writes, "Don't go out in secret. You don't have to tell people not in the know, but you shouldn't be sneaking out without telling anybody where you'll be. If something were to happen to you you'd want someone to alert the authorities early and fast, and sneaking out without telling anybody works against you". ("Shifting Safety Tips")

Safety extends to sex as well. Safe sex not only saves lives but prevents sex related crimes and permanent pain from occurring. Shifter sex can be, in personal experience, very pleasurable if you do it safely. Asking your partner(s) if certain things are okay is not "human-like" or "non-feral".

If you are shifting during sex, there are many ways to prevent the three Rs; Ripping, Rape, and Removing. Obviously, no one wants these, but it's common in the animal kingdom. Ripping refers to when a shifter shifts, either physically or metaphysically, and something rips. This may be the shifter's muscle, or the partner's body. Rape is a sex crime which involves one non-consenting party, and another party breaking that consent. Removing is the act or disrobing, or taking the clothes off your body or someone elses body while in the shifted state. These three can be prevented through personal boundary and safewords or training.

When shifting, does your body tend to rip, ache, tear, or bleed? If yes, you may not want to shift during sex. If you want to continue, be cautious of your partner's size and your own pain. Sex shouldn't be painful, especially not when shifting. When too large, using alternatives like fingers or tongues do well. Blood and muscle tears are dangerous to play around with.

When shifting, do you lose sight and touch with your "human side"? If yes, you tend to find it harder to reconnect to that other side quick enough to pay attention to the signs of a non-consenting party. This is harmful and if you deliberately still shift without consent, that is considered breaking boundaries.

When shifting, do you remove your clothes or remove other's clothes? If yes, it doesn't automatically mean a bad thing. See, shifters are recommended to remove clothing and jewelry, less they choke you or rip. But during that, there is still a very high possibility that the behaviour or taking clothes off is done to another person.

We covered personal boundaries, so safewords and training are up next.

Safewords are word(s) or signal that ends BDSM (and other types) play instantly. Safewords aren't entirely sexual, but they are commonly used in non-/BDSM spaces to end sexual activity. They are important, and everyone needs one. Some safewords are turn offs, and others are simple words like "kitchen". The majority of safewords aren't just "no", they have to be complex unless you are to confuse someone who thinks of "no" or "stop" as playful.

Training is what it says on the tin. To train a consenting human or shifter to understand boundaries is normal. Many relationships go through subconscious training whether we want our partners to pass or not. For some shifters, the idea of training is very erotic or pleasing, and they will have a higher incentive to learn. Most shifters like that are canines, or common pets. Training can go from simple to complex, and requires both the trainer and trainee to be in that mode for the entire time. Training, to some shifters, may be sexual due to sexuality or pre-established kinks. Find out what works for you before choosing.

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Your tour of the GROUND FLOOR has ended. I do hope this helped a few shifters out there. When we talk about sex education, a lot of shifters rely on human resources even if many of us shifters WANT to shift during sex and be in our true forms. I'm here to say that you can.

The next installment will be Pshifting and Sex, FLOOR 1. There, we will talk about Sex Appeal, Dysphoria and Shifting, The Shifter's Parts, and Permanent Changes. As always, this is educational and serves only that purpose!

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Cited.

“Terminology.” Shapeshifter’s Eden, spiritshifter.wixsite.com/harloqui/terms. Accessed 31 Jan. 2024.

“Shifting Safety Tips.” Tumblr, www.tumblr.com/harloqui/716528857941983233/shifting-safety-tips?source=share.

“Sexual Boundaries: How to Set Them.” Www.plannedparenthood.org, www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/sexual-boundaries-how-to-set-them.

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