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#shit do i even have any garlic?
beomnoullitheorem · 12 days
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Just wanna ramble but don't have any guts. That hurts a lot more than anything actually :)
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markatoto · 8 months
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fan of breasts?
chicken breasts? yeah! they are, maybe & arguably, one of the most delicious part of the chicken. well, maybe next to drumsticks (which i personally prefer for things like fried chicken, or soups). in particular, i like to use chicken breasts for making katsu, which, lemme tell ya, i'm no expert cook, but id like to think that i do a pretty good job.
matter of fact, if you want an extremely simple recipe, here's how i personally make chicken katsu (all off the top of my head, so some slight details might be missing, so please bear with me):
you'll need a few ingredients
panko (any sort of breadcrumbs will work, but panko is just the brand i use)
cookin' oil (usually simple vegtable oil will work)
the actual chicken breast, of course
the ol' traditional: salt and pepper
one egg (u dont need any more than one egg, typically)
if u wanna make things extra crunchy, having some corn starch mixed in with garlic powder + onion powder for some extra seasoning. maybe even a scoosh of paprika for that yummy (i personally like using this filipino chicken mixture called "crispy fry", which is usually used for fried chicken, but it works here too. it's usually meant for fried chicken drumstick, but what is katsu but a different kind of fried chicken)
anyways, here's how u wanna do things:
take out your chicken breast, pat it down with a paper towel so that it aint wet on the surface and either: slice it so that the chicken breast is about inch and a quarter (or so) thick OR use a mallet to make it around that thickness. youll want your chicken flat as possible, but not too flat! i think you know what i mean.
salt and peppa that mothafucka, both sides (OPTIONAL STEP 2B: it's at this point id probably mix my chicken breast with the starch mixture/crispy fry. it just gives a lil extra flavour and crunch that i enjoy. but this is just me, u dont really gotta do it)
crack open an egg and put it in a bowl. MIX IT UP
put your flattened (and maybe crispy fry seasoned) chicken in the egg. get it drenched, you want that panko to stick to that shit
what i like to do is i like to put panko in a plastic container with a lid, then i put the chicken in the container, close the lid up and just SHAKE it so that its nice and evenly coated. super simple and fun and WAY cleaner to deal with after the fact LOL
pop your oil in your pan. put in generous amount, enough that your chicken wont necessarily be drowning, but enough that your chicken will be sufficiently fried. heat that up until the oil reaches that perfect temperature of around 350'F (that is THE temp for doing any deep frying)
pop your chicken on the pan and leave it frying on the one side for, id say, approximately 4-5 minutes. youre going to have to keep a close watch on it. make sure that panko is that GOOD crispy brown on each side. over all it should take you like…. 7-9 minutes for your katsu to be done.
BEFORE YOU EAT... make sure the internal temp of the chicken is around 160 - 165'F. if it is, it's good to go. take it out and, what i like to do is get a plate and pop on a paper towel to let the katsu dry off all the excess oil. even though its off the pan, that shit is STILL cookin, so youll want to leave it alone for like… a minute or two. plus if you eat it now you'll totally burn your tongue and that's the WORST feeling in the world
and after all that, your katsu is done! get some jasmine (white) rice, put on some katsu sauce and some japanese mayo with a lil bit of furikake for that slight seaweed flavoring and youll be GOOD to go!!
so yeah, i guess you can say i'm a fan of breasts.
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ryozaki21 · 10 months
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After You - N.JM
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1/4 diary of the heartbreakers
summary: ➸ ♡ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.
"Break my heart, and you'll only find yourself inside."
GENRE: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature themes
WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Mental Illness, Drugs/Alcohol usage, Addiction, toxic!reader, fuckboy!Jaemin (but still a sweetheart)
WC: 19k (I got carried away, lol)
DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.
Enjoy reading! -ryo
//////////////////////
"Look who finally decides to show up," Jeno welcomed Jaemin with open arms, Haechan and Renjun following in pursuit.
"Come on, I just saw you guys about a week ago. Don't be dramatic." Jaemin loosened his tie, sat at the vacant seat beside Renjun.
"No Yeri today?" Haechan smirked, obviously mocking Jaemin.
"She has plans with her friends," Jaemin wants to shift the topic quickly, not wanting to be the center of attention for so long.
"Are you sure its not because she hates us?" Renjun looked at Jaemin with his brow raised.
"She hates everyone." Jaemin grabbed the flute glass in front of him as he saw the waiter come by with champagne.
"No offense, Jaemin, but I hate that her too." Haechan, eating the garlic bread. Jaemin rolled his eyes.
"Makes two of us." Jeno chimed in, drinking his champagne aswell. Jaemin didn't say anything, waiting for Renjun's addition to his girlfriend's hate train.
"All of us hate her, actually. Sorry man but your girl is literally the reincarnation of the devil." Renjun.
"You guys done? I know she isn't the best but she's still my girlfriend?" Jaemin, like the other times his friends tell him how horrible his girlfriend is, try to defend her even tho he knows that they're partly right.
"Yeah, we know. One of the mysteries even Sherlock Holmes can't fucking solve." Haechan chuckled. Jaemin let out a sigh and drank the champagne in one shot. He barely gets a break from Yeri, and when he does, his friends still mentions her name in every conversation they have.
"She disrespects everyone, literally went out with you just to show you off to her friends. I don't understand why you're still with her." Jeno rants, trying to make Jaemin understand. He doesn't mean to drag Yeri, but Jeno cannot understand how the likes of Jaemin, will go out with Yeri who treats him like shit.
"No shit, dude. Neither do I." Jaemin admitted, leaning back on his chair before dragging his hands through his hair.
"How about Karina? She's great, you went out with her a few times, right?" Haechan.
Jaemin, for the ninth time this night, rolled his eyes. "She moved to Paris."
"Joy? The girl you took to Haechan's birthday?" Renjun, pulling up a picture of Joy he searched on instagram, just to show to Jaemin.
"Engaged to Sungjae." Jeno answered that one, Sungjae being one of his acquiantances.
"Oh, I know this girl from Busan--"
"Can we not talk about my fucking love life?! Y'all are just stressing me out, God damn." Jaemin massaged his temples, just wanting a breather. Before he went here, he already had an argument with Yeri.
"Chill, man. Fine.. jeez. Just wanted you to know your options." Haechan looks away and shrugged his shoulders. To be fair, his intent was truly innocent. They just wanted their friend to live a happy life.
As per Jaemin's wish, they moved on and changed the topic to something else. After a few drinks, Jaemin started to let loose.
He wondered about a lot of things. One of which is on how he ended up here. Stuck in a relationship he doesn't really want anymore. Seeing his friends and how happy they are really hits something inside Jaemin. When will he find that? Will he even find that?
Just like the other nights Jaemin drinks himself to slumber, a few glasses in and he starts to think of something so dangerous yet so good. Something forbidden, something he would probably regret. He thinks of you.
Jaemin's greatest what if. You were like a fever dream, a memory he would cherish forever. No one can compare to the beauty hold. You were Jaemin's drug, so captivating, yet so vicious.
He wondered where you are. Are you doing fine? Are you happy?
Sometimes Jaemin hopes you still think of him. That his relevance in your life, although it was short, still lingers in your mind once in a while.
And the memories you and him had, even though it was temporary, Jaemin wishes it was enough for him to believe that you'll meet again.
Jaemin met a lot of pretty girls. All of them, actually. Yeri, despite her frowned upon attitude, was actually beautiful. That's what drove Jaemin to ask her out in the first place. He just wasn't aware of the other things that comes with it. No one can deny the beauty that Yeri holds, and even tho it contrasts his friends opinions, they know that Yeri is still one of the prettiest girl Jaemin had.
But was she the most gorgeous? No. Because there was you. They all fall behind, after you.
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
The first time he saw you was at the school's cafeteria. You're an art student which he could clearly tell from the messy pencil on your bun as you ate with a friend at the back of the canteen. He knew that friend, Jeonghan, because.. he might've slept with his sister. He still couldn't remember tho, he was stupidly drunk that time.
"Who's that with Jeonghan?" Jaemin asked, still his eyes not leaving your face. As corny as it sounds, everyone's faces blurred out when he saw you.
"That's Jiho's bestfriend? I think? Wait, isn't Jiho that one chick you banged last week?" Haechan, the resident insider was the one to answer. Jaemin mentally cursed himself. You're Jiho's bestfriend. Usually that doesn't matter to Jaemin but somehow he felt some sort of guilt into taking an interest with you. Inevitably, you'll know what happened with Jiho and Jaemin, and you'll definitely see Jaemin as this asshole who slept with your bestfriend.
"Everybody knows that he slept with her, dude." Jeno chimed in, smirking.
"More like, everybody heard." Renjun followed, which earned a hefty laugh from his group of friends. Usually, Jaemin would respond with a strong punch in the arm but he was still in a dilemma on how he should approach you without giving off an asshole vibe in him.
Jaemin came up with a plan. Not a good one, but still, a plan. He would casually pass the Arts building, specifically where you usually hang out which was at the Art studio at the top floor, (don't ask him how he found out-- he has his ways) and just ask you where the exit to the building is since he never really got around this part of the university.
His plan sounded good, and just to be assured, he asked Haechan. Which wasn't a very good choice but the way Haechan got around the girls in the university, he deserved some credit. In typical Lee Haechan way he responded, "That'd totally work, dude. I don't know how that would go wrong."
Well, Jaemin now know how it would go fucking wrong.
As the plan goes, he reaches the top floor of the building and walked towards the Art studio at 5pm, because according to his sources, you like to stay after class to do your project on the Art studio. Again, don't ask Jaemin how he got those information. Which is proven to be credible, because he did find you sketching on a canvas by yourself. He could hear a faint music playing on the studio as you sketch, which Jaemin could tell was a portrait of a lady.
He cleared his throat, as he opened the door. Just like in his script, he spoke,
"Hey, uh, excuse me? I've been finding the exit from this building and uhm, I just can't. Can you-- uhm," Okay, fine, Jaemin did fuck that one up. But how can he not, when you turned around so majestically with the golden sunray perfetcly hitting your face which gave Jaemin a full view of your beauty?
"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" You stood up, walking towards the speaker and turned it off.
"You know me?" Jaemin asked a dumb question. Everybody knows who he is. He's a fucking famous-- wait, no, he's just famous for fucking. That's it.
"Jiho and all the other girls around this place can't stop talking about how big your dick is, so I'd like to think I'm familiar with you, yes." Sarcasm fit perfectly with you, Jaemin thought. Although, he did not expect you to be this harsh given your soft exterior, nonetheless, he still found you pretty.
"Uh, that's uhm-- not the point, I need to find the exit." Stick to the plan, stupid. Jaemin had thought.
What surprises him even more was your sudden burst of laughter. What's so funny? Embarassment started to fill Jaemin, finding the whole situation dumb and stupid. Why are you laughing at him? This is the first time Jaemin felt this. Usually, girls are all over him, why are you laughing at him like he's some stupid idiot?
"Do you realize that if you're trying to find the exit, you go down the building, not the top floor?" At that exact moment, Jaemin wanted to bury himself alive.
--
"Dude, I didn't think you would fumble this bad." Jeno couldn't hold his laughter after Jaemin told him what had occured in the Art studio. There was only Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin in the dorm today, Haechan was steering out of Jaemin's view eversince he received a threat from his friend, quote, 'I'm gonna burn your hair off your scalp, Lee Haechan'
"You just turned around and left? Are you serious?" Renjun was more like dumbfounded. He expected more from Jaemin, being infamous in their little friendgroup for being a lowkey manwhore. He could not believe Jaemin could act so-- foolish?
"I didn't know what to say or do, bro. This is Haechan's fault, fuck!" Jaemin looked like a prepubescent teen screaming into his pillow. A couple leg-flailing and he'd successfully portray a thirteen yearold boy.
"This one's on you. You know damn well Haechan could pull that shit off with his over confident ass. Whats with this girl anyways?" Jeno asked, with little to no care about whatever Jaemin answered. He already knew you were Jaemin's type.
"You know Jaemin and his thing for innocent girls, Jeno. Are you not with him for the last seven years?" Renjun stated, which Jeno just nodded and shrugged.
"But the way she shut you down, I wouldn't say she's too innocent." Jeno had the other two thinking. Yes, with your soft brown hair and cute features, especially your love for art, you look like the stereotypical good girl that captured Jaemin's eyes. But your encounter says otherwise. No good girl can resist Na Jaemin. Everybody knows that.
Na Jaemin, contrary to his friend's beliefs, is the recent most popular man in his school. All of them were, but every student that knows him, (which is everyone) Na Jaemin is number one in his little friendgroup. He's the perfect balance between a player and a charmer.
Nobody hated the guy, they all liked him. Had the title of Prom King for four consecutive years, and has a squeaky clean reputation. Oh, don't get him wrong tho, he's a manwhore, still. Its just that every girl he has been with doesn't have any bad thing to say about the guy. He's got a great dick and even better personality. Word got around that even guys wouldn't mind if he slept with their girlfriends. That's how loved Jaemin is around the campus. He has a way with words, that once Jaemin calls quits on a girl, that girl would even say "Thank you."
Jaemin likes to think he's just being nice, but Haechan calls him a professional manipulator and gaslighter. Which if you do see it in a technical way, Jaemin's sweet words does affect the way girls interpret his intentions. Because in all honesty, he's just fucking and ghosting. But with a couple of I'm sorry's or Sweetheart's or maybe even a little bit of 'You don't deserve a man like me,' Jaemin easily could bounce out everytime.
"Also, why have we not heard about her? I mean, a face like that? Its impossible that she hadn't shown Haechan's radar." Renjun stated. Its true, it does feel weird that none of them knew who you were, specially Haechan. He's quite literally the hot girl radar and you definitely qualified as one. Its rate that Haechan never made a move on you, or even talked to you.
"Maybe she's really weird or has like a third nipple." Jeno sounds genuine, which was even worse. Jaemin couldn't help but question how is this man his best friend.
"Can you not be a twelve year-old?" Jaemin, as he threw a cushion over Jeno's side.
"Anyways, let's go back to Jaemin being a stupid idiot,"
--
["You got it?"] Renjun's voice was heard through the phone.
"Yes, you bitch. Now once I get home, I expect my beer and chicken laid in my table perfectly, or I'm burning your book." Its almost 7pm and almost everyone had already left the campus but Jaemin. Renjun had asked him to fetch his book from a friend, because Jaemin is the only one staying in the campus this late. For the reason being, well, he had a little make out sesh after his last class with Jiho.
Jaemin wasn't intentionally doing it just to spite you, its just Jiho was a great kisser. And maybe to get information about you, just a little. But that did not happen because he did not have the chance to actually talk to her about you as his mouth was a little preoccupied.
As he walked through the hallway, a door suddenly opened, which revealed you, hair dishevelled and your shirt was wrinkled. He knew that posture too well, out of all people, he's the one most familiar of it. You just did the nasty with someone.
In the school grounds? Jaemin scoffs. He was about to approach you when another body also came out of the room.
No way. No fucking way! Jaemin's eyes went wild, his jaw slowly parts as he saw who it was. He quickly hides behind one of the lockers to avoid you seeing him, only peeking his head a bit to confirm what he just saw.
Nurse Suh. You're sleeping with the school nurse. Jaemin was utterly shocked, as he contemplated on what he should do next. You're definitely not the innocent and soft girl he thought you would be, you're so far from it. And as far as he knows, Nurse Suh has a girlfriend! And not to mention, it's illegal!
"Nurse Suh?!" The three of his friends couldn't believe it either. Jaemin just could not keep the information to himself. He knew he could trust his friends.
"I mean, yes he's hot but isn't he like 34?" Jeno questioned.
"Dumbass, he's only 27. Him and my older brother are friends." Haechan said, then quickly looking back at Jaemin.
"And she's what, 22? I don't see anything wrong here." Haechan shrugged. Of course, out of all of them, Haechan would find this situation fine. He had slept with a teacher before, and called it his 'great awakening'.
"He has a girlfriend, you fucking idiot." Renjun said, hitting Haechan in the back of the head.
"So? You gotta do what you gotta do, man. Honestly, if I was Nurse Suh, I would tap it too." Followed by a playful chuckle, Haechan got another slap in the back of the head, this time, from Jeno.
"Stop hitting me! I need to protect my braincells, I need to pass the test tomorrow, you assholes." Haechan whined, massaging his head.
"Wait, Haechan, did you not know her before?" It was Jaemin's turn to ask, genuinely curious on why Haechan never made a move on you.
Haechan is basically like Jaemin, but even more evil. Sure, they're both manwhores but Jaemin leaves nicely. As to Haechan, he would leave without saying a word and pretend to not know you the next day. While Jaemin would receive love letters, Haechan receives death threats and some hex put on him. Its not like he's bad in bed, because if he is, he wouldn't be able to get his dick wet as frequent as he is now. It's because Haechan does not care for people's feelings.
"I did, I know who she was." Haechan shrugged. All three of them looked at him.
"Why didn't you.. like... tell me about that?" Jaemin's voice was small, a bit shy with what he just said.
"Because It's kinda funny when you get turned down." Haechan had a smile on his face whilst he said it. Jeno shook his head and Renjun just scoffed.
"Please tell me you're joking." Renjun. The boy laughed even more louder while shaking his head and before he knows, a flying cushion came straight to his face. But it didn't stop Haechan from smiling like an idiot.
"You know what's ridiculous, Haechan? That fucking faded out starwars shirt, because I'm gonna make you eat it you fucker!--" Jaemin fought back, reaching out for his friend but Haechan quickly moved away from him
"I'm sorry, Jaeminnie-- but I did try to flirt with her but she's cold as ice, man. And you all know how persistent I am so when me, Lee Haechan, gave up on a girl, you know that girl's impossible. And I heard that she never dates, well, I guess now I know why." Haechan explained himself but Jaemin is still annoyed and pissed.
"So you just let your friend get his ass handed to him? You should've told Jaem, man." Jeno.
"Admit it, It's kinda funny when Jaemin gets rejected. I mean, it almost never happens. And the one time it did, we're not even there to witness it." Haechan keeps smiling, pissing off Jaemin more, but his mind is else where.
---
"I had to say, I'm surprised you called me twice this week. Am I finally cracking your fuckboy code, Na Jaemin?" Jiho had a smirk on her face when he approached Jaemin at the closed off audiotorium in the science building.
"Can you sit down first?" Jaemin scooted a bit and gave space for Jiho to sit down. He has a whole different plan today, and although inviting the girl in his usual makeout spot almost always leads up to them hooking up, this time Jaemin is persistent on asking Jiho about you.
"This is weird. Aren't you taking my skirt off?" Jiho hesitantly sat beside the boy, expecting a kiss but instead, Jaemin has his brows furrowed and seemed bothered
"What? No. Not now. I just want to ask you something." Jaemin turned his body facing Jiho.
"You're being weird." Jiho leaned away a bit, still confused about the whole situation.
"You know y/n?" Jaemin goes straight to the point. Jiho had a visible shock in her face. She never expected your name to pop out from anyone's mouth, and especially not Jaemin's.
"Yes? Why?" Slowing her words, she inspected Jaemin's features.
"Nothing. Why haven't I seen her before?" The question Jaemin is most interested about.
"She's never gonna be interested with you, or anyone. Leave her alone." Jiho suddenly stood up, turned around and walked away as fast as she can, but not as fast as Jaemin.
Before she could even leave the auditorium, Jaemin got a hold of her wrist. "Why are you this weird about her?"
"I know you think you can woo her because you're Na Jaemin and you're a fucking playboy or some shit, but I'm telling you, not even as your hook up buddy, she's worse than you. So I suggest, as your friend, stay. away. from y/n."
---
"This is totally not weird. Yeah sure, I mean, we're just following a random girl walking down the street. Totally not weird." Renjun for one was scammed into doing this. Jaemin asked him to go with him and go buy some pants in the mall for a promise for Haidilao afterwards. Ofcourse Renjun is gonna agree, because he would never pass a free hotpot.
What Jaemin failed to say is that he has a little side quest on his itenirary for today. For someone who's unbothered most of the time, Jaemin is going insane thinking about the mystery that is you. And Jiho's outburst absolutely did not help at all.
"We're not following her. We're just y'know... happens to be in the same way as her." Jaemin knew what he was saying was bullshit, and that Renjun would never believe a word he says. But he would never admit that he's letting someone go and do cartwheel on his mind for almost two weeks now.
"Except we can't walk more than ten feet closer and we've been turning in the same corners as her for about thirty minutes." Sarcasm did not need to be noted.
Jaemin didn't listen and continued walking the same direction as you. This is definitely out of his character, but he has to know you. He's been intrigued enough to actually make an effort to atleast know who you were.
Suddenly, you turned left, into a busy cafe. "You promised me Haidilao, Na Jaemin. Not coffee!" Renjun started being a little irritated. He's hungry, exhausted and disappointed from Jaemin's fake promises. He doesn't need coffee right now, and hell, he's not gonna sit inside a cafe when he could have hotpot right now!
"Jesus, shut the fuck up!" Jaemin dug into his pocket and reached for his phone, typing for a minute and Renjun felt his own phone vibrated.
"Nice. I'll see you later, Sherlock Holmes." Jaemin sent Renjun money for hotpot, which quickly shifted the boy's mood.
"You're useless!" Jaemin yelled as Renjun walked away. "You love me!" Renjun replied with a smile as he skips away.
Jaemin hesitated a bit if he should enter the cafe. Is it too much just to suddenly show up where you are? No. This is the townsquare, students from his and your school are frequents here. It's not gonna be weird. Right, definitely.
The cafe is full packed, quite a line forming. There seems ro be no tables available, but Jaemin still decides to go inside. But as soon as he steps inside the cafe, his feet turned ice cold.
"Alright! I know, I'm sorry!" He sees you hurriedly putting on your apron, as another man seemingly upset with you. He quickly steps into the line of customers, and he just hopes that once he's on the counter, you would be the one serving him.
Jaemin thought he had time to calculate how he's gonna approach you, but the line was quickly moving, and he swear, he's fucking nervous. What if you didn't remember him? Or find him weird for being here?
As the last one in front of him turned to leave, he's finally infront of you. Unfortunately, you weren't looking and focused on the monitor in front of you.
"Uhm," he cleared his throat, trying to get your attention.
"What can I get you, sir?" Your customer service voice was obvious, and quite frankly, annoying. You smiled brightly at him, which he deemed so fake.
"Iced Americano, small." Jaemin's voice was deeper than usual, partly because he's nervous, and maybe because he wanted a cool guy impression.
"You literally followed me here just to get a small americano?" The humour in your voice makes Jaemin embarassed. Wide eyed, Jaemin feigned confusion, not wanting to be caught in 4k.
"I wasn't following y-you?" One thing Jaemin was bad at, was definitely lying. The way he stuttered at his last word says so.
You fought a smirk, again, leaving poor Jaemin feeling so little. "Sure, and the gravity isn't real."
"I swear, I'm not--"
"I'm on a break by 6:30. One small americano, right, sir?" You smiled at him, and Jaemin can fucking feel it. His heart skipping a beat.
"Make that large."
----
His drink already warm, ice all melted into one bland coffee, Jaemin started to feel pathetic. He's been sitting here, on the side of the cafe for almost three hours. He's realizing how stupid he is for doing all of this for someone who's not even that... special. He doesn't know you. You're pretty, yes, but there's always gonna be another girl who's prettier. Maybe its his dick thinking and doing the decisions earlier, but Jaemin saw his entire reputation go so far down if anybody knew he waited for you for three fucking hours. He never knew he could do all of this for a pussy he can easily get with other girls who would even beg for him.
Simmering in his own thoughts, Jaemin huffs and almost stood up to leave, Until he saw his phone, 6:29.
Shit, only one more minute wouldn't hurt anybody? No. Fuck her for playing hard to get. I'm Na fucking Jaemin! Who does she think she is?!
Just as Jaemin actually stood up, he saw you walking slowly towards him while undoing your apron, smile on your face making his knees literally weak that he had to sit down again.
"Leaving already?" You asked, sitting in front of him.
"I-I was just... stretching my legs." If his friends are here to hear the words he just said, he might just jump off a cliff.
"Sure. Now, tell me, Na Jaemin-ssi. What the fuck do you want from me?" Okay, now this, Jaemin did not expect this. Your words sounded harsh but your soft voice says otherwise. Being passive aggresive just makes Jaemin confused all over again.
But fuck it, you wanna play hard? Jaemin can do that. His patience wearing thin, he leaned back on the chair and smirked, almost like flipping on a switch in his aura.
"I want to fuck you." Jaemin didn't whisper, or even lower his voice. He said it so casually, and he noticed your confident stare flinch for a bit.
"I would, but I'm afraid you're not my type." Its like you two were having an asshole-off and seeing who's more cockier than the other. Jaemin isn't competitive, but he's not gonna lose this one.
"Don't be silly. I'm everybody's type." Jaemin definitely won by that line. Or so he thoughts.
"Judging from words on the streets, You're a walking STD. I think I'm gonna pass." This time, Jaemin's sure that you're just pissing him off. Maybe this is your way of playing hard to get, but Jaemin likes to play dirty.
"I fuck a lot but I'm clean, and even if that happens, I'm sure your little school nurse friend can help you." Visible shock in your face, its clear that Jaemin pushed your buttons. Your confident facade slowly shaking, as you gulped and blink trying to process what he just said.
But that didn't last long, only seconds after, you pulled back your smirk. "Oh, you've done some research, I see."
"Now come on, pretty girl. What do you say?" He started to feel it. He's cracking your hard shell.
"Are you really good in bed as they say you were?"
"Go on and ask your friend."
---
"Holy f-fuck, J-jaemin.. shit.. slowdown!" Your table aggressively banging as you bent over it, Jaemin mercilessly pistoning you from behind. His pants not even half way down his thighs, the lower hem of his shirt in between his teeth, showing his glistening abs flexing as he thrusts.
His left hand locking both yours behind your back, and his right hand keeping your head on the table, facing your side. Your mesh tights has been ripped, your skirt all the way up your stomach. One by one, your things that was left on the table started to fall on the ground, as Jaemin's aggressive thrusts forcefully moves the table on a rocking motion.
"Shi.. fuck, I'm coming.." Your hoarse voice was prominent, only motivates Jaemin to hit even harder. Only grunts and growls was heard from the boy, his moans blocked by his shirt between his teeth. Jaemin wasn't only fucking you, he's proving a point aswell. To you, and to himself.
He removes his hands from your head, allowing you to look at him from behind. His free hand brushed his hair backwards, still keeping his tempo. Sweat dripping, his thrusts started to stutter. He then grabbed your face, and pulled you to his chest. Letting go of the shirt in his lips, he whispered, "Come with me, sweetheart."
His hands finding your waist as he felt your walls tighten, an intense whine leaving your mouth as your leg shakes quietly. That triggered his own release, murmuring a few curse words as all his movements halts. Only heavy breathing was heard, everything else dead silent. He slowly pulls out, earning a moan from the both of you.
"That was.." You couldn't even finish, fixing your clothes, quickly sitting at one of your chairs on the table, afraid your knees might give out.
"Intense." Jaemin tucked himself on his pants as he sat down in front of you.
"Not bad," You smirked at him, trying to keep your composure. Jaemin smirked back, proud of himself.
"I thought I wasn't your type?"
"Gotta know what's all the fuss is about. I guess the cat died and curiousity wins." Out of breath, you suddenly picked something on the floor, and Jaemin notices that its a marker that had fell from the table.
"If you wanna do this again," you stared grabbing Jaemin's arms and writing your number on it. "...give me a call, yeah?"
"How about Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't wanna sound like a little whiny boy but he had to ask. Is she still going to continue seeing him?
"What about him?" You raised your brows at him.
"Won't he be mad?" Jaemin can see the laugh you held in, before shaking your head.
"We're not in a relationship, and will never be. Same goes to you. We just fuck and go. I'm clean, I hope you are too, and we're not passing the line of being each other's fuck buddy. None of that corny shit, or you're out. I hope you understand, Jaeminnie, you're just a good dick with a pretty face." Your soft face does not match the words you just spilled out. And Jaemin thinks he's hit the jackpot.
No commitments? Just good sex? With you? He thinks he's in heaven. He can't wait to tell the boys about this.
If Jaemin was in the movies, he would've fisted the air and smiled like an idiot.
"Here's to good sex?" Jaemin offers his hand, which you gladly accepted. "Good sex indeed."
---
Jaemin never minded what day it is. Just as long as he did what he needs to do today, he's fine. Tomorrow will have to wait. But eversince you, suddenly he felt impatient and counted the days until he saw you again.
After a few weeks, Jaemin and you saw each other twice a week, mostly Thursdays and Sundays, the days where your schedules matched. Jaemin never knew he would be stuck with one girl for this long, but damn. You're too good. You keep Jaemin on his toes every time he sees you. You were like a gift, waiting to be opened everytime. The excitement and the thrill always feels brand new. And Jaemin would never admit it, but every week, he'd hope the other days go by quickly and wishes it was Thursday again.
"He's smiling like a creep again, Jeno! What the fuck is up with your bestfriend?!" Haechan dramatically hid behind Jeno as Jaemin walked inside their little hang out spot, the old elementay library that became abandoned throughout the renovations.
"He's apparently getting the best pussy in the campus." Jeno shrugged and pushed Haechan away before he plopped himself down the couch.
"You're banging Im Hayeon?" Haechan widen his eyes as he strides towards Jaemin.
"No, dimwit. He's fucking y/n." Renjun, unbothered as usual as he continued drawing in his iPad.
"No way-- no fucking way!" Haechan gasps, grabbing Jaemin's shoulder as he shook it. Jaemin slaps away Haechan's hands and pushed him aside to sit beside Jeno.
"Shut up, Haechan. You're being dramatic." Jaemin pulled out his phone, hoping he would see your name pop up. Surprisingly, nothing but social media notifications greeted him, message requests and follows from people he doesn't know. He checked what time it is, 2:45pm.
Okay. Its still early. She'll text later.
"In all seriousness, dude, do you guys talk? like aside from doing it-- I mean." Jeno's tone was unusual. It's like he's being careful about something, or he wants to say something.
"Yeah? The fuck? D'you think we just fuck and go? Of couse we talk. Why?" Jaemin noticed Jeno's way of talking, turning his whole body towards his bestfriend.
"She tell you something about her?" This time, Renjun and Haechan leaned in.
"Get to the point, man." Jaemin.
"Nah, cuz the girl I was with last night told me that she's really... uh, popular at her previous school." Jeno, knowing the whole context, winced at the word 'popular'.
"What do you mean?" Jaemin's smile when he came here was no longer visible, replacing it with a frown as his brows creased in nervousness.
"I don't know-- man, I think you just... ask her, y'know?" Jeno wasn't comfortable sharing the information he had, but he knew Jaemin needs to know. But he wasn't sure if he's in the place to tell it.
But Haechan did not give a fuck. He's intrigued, and before they knew it, he's deep inside his phone texting someone.
"What are you doing?" Renjun asked.
"Since Jeno is being a pussy and won't share, I'm finding it out." And a second before Haechan could even type another letter, Jeno grabbed his phone away.
"Don't! Don't fucking search it. We should respect her, man. She's still a girl and I heard it was taken down---"
Haechan gasped even louder, even breathing out an "oh my god", He didn't say it out loud but the four of them were thinking the same thing.
"Holy fuck, she has a sex tape?!" Haechan, ofcourse was the first one to break the silence.
And once again, you surprised Jaemin.
---
"I'm famished, god damn." You sat beside Jaemin on your old couch, digging a spoon on your bowl of cereal. Your top barely even buttoned, you started eating a spoonfull after another.
"Slow down, you'll--" before Jaemin even finishes, you caught something in your throat and coughed almost everything in your mouth.
"What did i tell you? Aish-" Jaemin quickly then grabbed the tissue beside the couch and started to wipe your face. He grabbed the bowl from you, putting it aside and wiping some of the milk that had spilled on you.
He then stood up and walked towards your kitchen, as if he owns the place. Next thing you know, he comes back with a glass of water in his hands.
"Thank you," you managed to blurt out in the middle of your coughing and drank the water.
"I thought you didn't have a gag reflex the way you sucked my dick earlier," Jaemin joked, earning a playful slap in his shoulder from you.
"Shut up, movies starting." Jaemin didn't give a single fuck about the movie playing on screen. Haechan's voice keeps ringing in his ear, and as much as he wanted to stay out of it and respect your privacy, something in him wants to know. Its like an itch wanting to be scratched.
"Tom Holland's like the perfect spiderm-- Jaemin?" The boy's trance was interrupted when you call his name. He didn't realize that he was staring off to nothing instead of watching the movie he picked.
"Yeah?" Jaemin blinked thrice before looking at you, your eyes peaked interest as you examined his face.
"You're out of it, what're you thinking?" You paused the movie, moving your body to fully face him.
Jaemin can't wait. He has to know. "Just curious, where did you say your last school is?" He hoped his question wasn't too obvious.
"I didn't say anything?" Okay, hold up. Plan backfired. Fuck!
"What? I-I swear you told me, like, last time? Sacre--"
"Sacred Heart. Yeah. And no, I didn't tell you about it." Like the many times, Jaemin was nervous. Again. You make him so.. unlike himself. What the fuck is it with you?
"Oh, wait, are you sure--"
"You heard about it, huh?" Jaemin couldn't tell if the smirk on your face was a good thing. He doesn't want to fuck this up, and he's starting to think he just did.
"I'm sorry, If you don't want to talk about it--"
"It's fine. It's not that bad. Hell, It could've earned so much if it was uploaded in a porn site, y'know? Stupid Mr. Nakamoto," You chuckled, nonchalantly turning your body towards the screen again, as if what you just said didn't just shocked Jaemin to the core.
The fact that you weren't bothered about it, and even sounded like you're bragging about it wasn't the main thing Jaemin was apalled by. "Mr. Nakamoto?"
You smiled, as if you were reminiscing, "He was my Biology teacher. Couldn't accept the fact that I'm leaving him so he went and blackmailed me with the video, but his phone got stolen and poof, it spread around like a wildfire. If you ask another person tho, they'd just say I spread it myself. You choose what you believe-- I don't really care." And you looked like it too. You did not care, because if you did, you wouldn't just tell all of this to Jaemin.
"Did anything happened to that assho-- Mr. Nakamoto?" Jaemin feels heated. He doesn't know why, but what he knows is he wants to suckerpunch whoever that Nakamoto is.
"Got his license removed, but you know what's even more fun?" You leaned onto him, your lips next to his ear and whispered, "His wife was so devastated her husband had to find someone younger to fuck, she filed for divorce the very next day."
And just like that, Jaemin was left speechless. Again.
---
"Jaem, someone's looking for you." Renjun tapped his friend's shoulder, pointing at the student standing on the door. Jaemin slowly opened his eyes, way too tired to even stand up, and looked who it was.
To his surprise, it was Yoon Jeonghan. He knew this would come sooner or later, since he had a.. thing with his sister for a while. But he never thought that Jeonghan cared, afterall, Jeonghan never talked to him about it.
But oh boy, was he wrong.
"Heard you're fooling around with y/n?" Jeonghan was serious. He wasn't looking at Jaemin, he's just staring ahead. His hands on his pocket, as Jaemin stood behind him, confused.
"Yeah? What about it?" He knew you and Jeonghan were friends, he often sees you with him. But why does this conversation feel more intense?
"And my sister already talked to you about it, right?" This time, Jeonghan looked at him.
"Yeah, she's being weird about it." Somehow, Jaemin wants this conversation to be about Jiho instead of you. He wishes Jeonghan was only after him because of his sister, because then, he knew what to do. But its you. Jaemin never know what to do with you.
"Because she's right. You should stay away from her, man. Just-- a friendly advice, alright?" Jaemin hated how Jeonghan sounded so sincere. What could be so awful about you that even this man, who he never even talked to, warned him about you?
"Dude, not to sound rude, but how the fuck does me fucking around with y/n, your business?" His voice slightly getting sharper, owing to the fact that he hated getting told what to do.
"You're a good man, Na. I'm sure there's more prettier-- even more fucking hotter girls than her. She's not..." Jeonghan paused, almost saying something he would regret, "... good for you. I've known her forever, and she's not the type to be with."
"I know you're older than me, and I mean this with utmost respect, you and your sister should mind your own business. I don't know what she did to you and Jiho, but she's fine. And we're not even together! We're just fooling around! Y'all are so dramatic." With that, Jaemin turned around and left Jeonghan. He sounded so unbothered by all of this, but in all honestly, he's starting to question if there's really a valid reason on why Jeonghan and Jiho was so sincere about you being apparently, a bad person.
The way you laugh at Jaemin, the way you smiled, you tell your stories, and everything Jaemin saw you do, you being a bad person doesn't make sense to him. Sure, you've done some fucked up things but Jaemin never cared about that. You showed him genuine happiness, and Jaemin could never see you in the light that Jeonghan and Jiho painted you out to be.
And just like clockwork, your name popped up in his screen. Just as if everything in the past fifteen minutes never happened, his steps became slightly faster as he grabbed his things. He couldn't be more excited to see you again.
---
"This is pretty." Jaemin pointed out a painting, whilst he dressed himself. You were also doing the same thing, but you looked at where he was pointing at.
It was your artwork from last year. The canvas was leaning beside your dresser, along with other canvasses that you never put up.
"Wonderstruck." you said. You were a bit appalled that Jaemin noticed the only work you were actually proud of. It wasn't even displayed in the front, it was almost entirely covered by unfinished canvasses.
"Wonderstruck? That's its name? It's really beautiful." Jaemin sounded sincere, he really found the painting pretty. It was a couple, sitting by a river on golden hour. Sky was the shade of orange and blue, nighttime seeking in but the sun's still there, laying real low. It was in a middle of a field, lavender flowers scattered around.
It was new to you, men showing interest on something more than your face and body. It sparked something in you, Jaemin knew that with the way you jumped out of your bed, biting your lip, hesitating for a second, "Want to show you something."
"What do you think?" You were standing beside your kitchen table, with a few printed photos of people Jaemin didn't know. It was all in black in white, and all of them showed genuine smiles.
"Cool. Who are they?" Jaemin was adjusting his belt as he scanned every picture. The way you're looking so innocent and fluffy, showing him your photo collection can fool a person into thinking you did not just have mindblowing sex minutes prior. Jaemin stifles a laugh.
You, in your overalls smiled so brightly at him, excited that Jaemin showed interest on your work. "They're random people I saw on the street." You were fidgety, kept on arranging the photos. Looking at Jaemin for any signs of validation. Jaemin thought you were so cute, but he never said it out loud.
"Is it for your project?" Now, Jaemin doesn't have a single clue about the Art department in his school, but he knew it's important for you, so he tried his best.
"No. I just did it." You took one picture and showed it to him upclose. "I just like to see people smiling, you know? There's just something so precious with asking people to smile for you. Because when they do, you can tell that they just feel.. pretty. And I like making people feel pretty." You were so caught up in explaining that you didn't notice how Jaemin was looking at you. And he was thankful you didn't see it.
The way his eyes just expressed a thousand strings of emotions he's afraid to show almost felt dangerous, he didn't want to get caught. But for a moment, he let it happen because he was sure you were focused on something else. All the while he was focused on you. Because while you were explaining how smiling makes people pretty, he was thinking that you didn't need to smile and he's already thinking that you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on.
But before you could even looked at him, Jaemin quickly focused his gaze on the photo you were showing him. "That's cool. But I never knew you were into photography aswell. I thought you were into paintings only."
"I'm into art, Jaem. And art comes with different things. Although I like painting more, photography is my second favorite. Here, before you go," Swiftly, you grabbed your polaroid camera and stood beside Jaemin, putting your arms around his shoulder making you stand on your tippy toes, and angling the camera where it could capture you both. Jaemin was caught by surprise but he still managed to smile and pull you tighter.
As soon as the flash disappeared, you removed yourself from him and grabbed the film. "This one's for you, so you could remember who your best sex was." She winked at him and chuckled before going back to rearrange her photos.
Jaemin, on the other hand, his eyes never left your figure. He was in awe, he was amazed, and fuck it, he was wonderstruck. But most importantly, he was fucking scared.
---
The next thursday came, and surprisingly, you didn't call. Jaemin liked to think you were just busy, so he never reached out. There's still sunday, he thought. And even if you didn't reach out this sunday, its okay. It's not like you had to keep the schedule, right?
Besides, Jaemin was busy aswell. He's planning Jeno's birthday. Usually, Renjun and Haechan was the one assigned to planning parties, but Renjun was occupied and Haechan wasn't feeling it. They were still helping Jaemin, its just that Jaemin wanted to throw a party for his bestfriend this time. Also, to take his mind off of you for a bit.
If he wasn't busy and occupied with something, Jaemin might go insane thinking about where you are or why you haven't been calling him. So he initiated.
"How fucking long is your list, Jaemin?" Renjun couldn't believe how long he's been scrolling through Jaemin's list for the party invitations. Yet, he isn't surprised.
"You know you can just announce that you're throwing a party and literally everyone who knows you and Jeno will come, right?" Haechan, laying on the couch scrolling mindlessly on his phone.
"Nah, I don't want some weirdo showing up uninvited." Jaemin pointed out, but he left out another reason. He wanted to waste time on listing names just to get you out his mind even for a short time.
"Well don't forget about Jisung's best friend." Haechan smirked.
"Jeno's brother's bestfriend? That's weirdly specific, bro." Jaemin added, shrugging his shoulders. Still, he wrote it down.
"A little birdie told me that Jeno has a thing for his brother's bestfriend." Haechan chuckled, fixing his glasses.
"What? How come I never knew that?" Jaemin asked. He's Jeno's best friend and an information like this would surely come up. Yet its the first time he's heard of this.
"That's because you're so far up that mystery y/n girl's ass you're starting to look like anal beads, bro." Renjun winced at Haechan's choice of words, but then again, he's used to it.
"I'm not, dude. I'm here most of the time, aren't I?" Jaemin looked at Renjun for validation, but he just rolled his eyes at him.
"He's actually right, Jaemin. You're whipped." Renjun added, smirking.
"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm literally here in front of you guys, on a thursday, which I'm supposed to be with her-- but I'm not because she didn't call-- but also because I want to be with you ass--"
"The more you talk, the more you prove our point. You're fucking whipped, Na Jaemin." Haechan sat down properly, playfull shoving Jaemin to provoke him. Jaemin just hit Haechan's hands away but that didn't stop the boy from annoying him.
"Think of it, dude. You went through two months with her-- only her. Two months-- dude. That's fucking bizarre for you. It's either that pussy was gold, or-- just like what we're saying, your ass is whipped." Haechan was pissing Jaemin off, not because he doesn't agree, its because he does. And admitting that would just fuck up everything you two have.
"I don't know what you're talking about. You guys are tripping, big time. I'm not whipped." Lies tasted bitter in his mouth. He might just be whipped.
He walked out of their hangout room, and just as he opened the door, his eyes widen. You were there, standing with your messy bun, clueless eyes and a box in your hand.
"H-hey?" Jaemin was caught offguard, as he closed the door behind him.
"That room looks like it stinks."
Jaemin chuckled, it does. "Mostly of weed and old furniture. What's up?"
"I,- uh, baked some cookies. Just-- y'know, wanted you to have some." You awkwardly raised your box of cookies to present them to Jaemin, and it takes so much of him not to melt on the spot.
"Thank you," Jaemin resisted the urge to call you 'baby', mostly because he didn't know if he was allowed to do it outside your apartment.
"Tell you what-- why don't we eat it together?" Jaemin.
"I'm free until 4:30?"
"Cool, we can go to the garden, there's barely any student there."
Jaemin smiled and grabbed you by your wrist. "But I know a much more cooler place."
"Really? Where?" Jaemin stopped, and it was your turn to hold him by the wrist.
Jaemin didn't ask, he just let you drag him anywhere. You could take him to a lion's den, he wouldn't care. Anywhere is fine with him as long as you're there.
After climbing on a flight of stairs, Jaemin noticed that you two ended up on Art department building's rooftop.
He hasn't been in here, and it was.. interesting. It looks like any other rooftop, messy and full of unused class chairs, except there was a spot where there's an old couch, just like what they have on their hangout spot. There's a random mini refrigerator and a lamp-- thats it.
"This is my super secret place. Be greatful I let you in here." You squinted your eyes at Jaemin as you patted the seat beside you, basically asking him to sit.
Jaemin did so, and looked ahead. He can see the entire school campus in here.
"This is pretty." He whispered.
"Much better than your stinky room, huh?" You bragged, opening a can of cola that you have on the mini fridge.
"Hey, how come you have that? We requested to have one but the stupid school didn't let us."
"Oh, this little guy? Johnny helped me with it." You smirked, tapping the blue mini fridge.
"Johnny?" A new name in Jaemin's books. Who's Johnny?
"Nurse Suh? His name is Johnny Suh, you didn't know?"
"I didn't." His vibe went a bit south, but he didn't let that spoil your moment together. It was rare for you to approach him in school, and he wanted to have that moment.
"This is good, damn." Jaemin munched on the cookies you got for him and it was honestly tasty. Better than any other cookies he had before, or maybe he was biased and his judgement was greatly affected by the fact that you made it. Eitherway, the cookies are delicious.
"I only made one batch and even that was too much for me. I wanted to give some out but.." you paused. "Funny, you're the only one I had in mind."
"Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't even know why he brought the guy up again, but he did.
"Nah, we don't do that." You smiled.
"And we do?" A tinge of hope sparked in Jaemin, that maybe he had some difference between him and Nurse Suh. Maybe you do treat him more special. A guy can dream, can't he?
"Sure, we do. I mean, I can't just throw away this exceptionally good tasting cookies, can't I? And you're the only one I have right now.. so."
Jaemin was enthusiastic. He felt like he won something. He can't help but smile even more, but also, he felt bad. When you said he was the only one you have, he thought about Jiho and Jeonghan.
"What about the Yoon siblings?"
You let out a humourless chuckle, more like a scoff. "Jiho doesn't talk to me anymore and Jeonghan.. well. It's complicated."
"I swear I just saw you two eating at the cafeteria." Heck, that's how he found out about you. Because you were sitting at the cafeteria beside Jeonghan.
"He just sat with me because he felt bad I was eating alone. Also I barely go down there to eat-- so he kinda just.. I don't know. Let's not talk about them anymore, Jaem."
---
"Look at me, baby." Jaemin whispered, softly grabbing your jaw to turn your head towards him. He has you on your side, holding your right thigh up as he slowy thrust. He can see that you're near, and damn, he can feel it too.
"J-jaem.." You start shaking, as your entire body give out. Looking into his eyes, his own pleasure wasn't on the table anymore, he just wants you to feel good. He can safely say that you are indeed the prettiest when you cum, and he's glad he can see you this way.
"That's right, sweetheart. Let go for me, will you?" This was very different on how you usually do it with him. You were usually intense, rough and fast, but something about tonight feels more... passionate. Jaemin never went any faster than his current tempo, yet he still hits every spot. Slow and deep, while he looks at your face, admiring the beauty he's glad he had the priviledge to see.
"Kiss me, Jaemin." You didn't even have to ask twice, Jaemin already dipped his head lower to reach your lips, tasting you while your walls tightens, your whimpers covered by his own lips, you just came.
Once Jaemin pulls away, he pulls a few strings of hair strands away your face to see you. Your eyes glistening, and not long when you let a tear drop. Jaemin could never wish for anything more than this.
"You're so beautiful, y/n." He whispered, more to himself, than to you.
"Thank you." You softly answered, smiling at him and giving him another kiss. Jaemin then let go of your thigh, instead wrapping his arms on your waist. It seems like you got the idea that he's near his climax so you positioned yourself in a way that he gets more of you, sticking your backside out more thus facing away from him.
"No, no, princess keep looking at me." Jaemin whispered and you followed, facing him again.
"You gonna cum for me, baby?" You asked sensually. His thrust slightly getting deeper, but never faster. His eyes went back and forth with both of your eyes as he nodded.
"For you, my love." He mumbled. His jaw slightly ajar, brows furrowed as he let out a deep moan, abruptly staying still and you felt his release warming up your walls.
"You did so good, Jaemin. So, so good." Your compliments just adds to his pleasure. Shivers ran down his spine, he manages to calm himself after his intense climax.
"You're so good to me. I lik--" Before Jaemin finishes, you pulled away from him.
"I'm taking a piss." You said, forcing yourself to stand up and walk your way to the bathroom.
And just like how he felt so good seconds before, it suddenly got washed away with the feeling of dismay. He can't believe he just attempted to say that. Fuck. Running his hands on his face, he mentally curses himself for being wreckless.
You were still in the bathroom when Jaemin heard a few knocks. He's confused, grabbing his phone to look at the time.
9:47pm. Who could visit you at this time?
He grabbed his boxers and quickly putting it on, as well as his shirt but he didn't bother to make himself presentable. He opened the door and his eyes widen.
"Nurse Suh?" He eyed the tall man, and the guy eyed him too. Both of them are confused as to why the other is standing where they are.
"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" Johnny wasn't even sure why he was asking that, it's clear with Jaemin's shuffled hair and obviously--- him in his boxers.
"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Jaemin sounded rude, but he does not give a shit. Nurse Suh poses as a threat to him and your-- uh, situationship -- and Jaemin doesn't have a reason to be nice to him.
"Where is she?" Johnny's voice was full of concern, as he looked past the younger boy just to get a glimpse inside your apartment. That's until Jaemin steps outside, and closing the door behind him.
"What do you want from her?" Jaemin looks at him, and although the guy was taller and has a bigger built, again, he doesn't care.
"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Johnny's tone and him mocking Jaemin pissed him more. Letting out a huge breath, Jaemin looked at him straight in the eyes.
"You know-- you're whole relationship with her is fucked up, right?" Johnny was surprised on how Jaemin just turned off the calm facade. He didn't expect him to be triggered like this
"What relationship? You out of all people should know she doesn't do relationsh--"
"Yeah, whatever. You can't fuck around with her anymore, man. You're a fucking school staff, and she's a student. Also, you have a fucking girlfriend. I don't know how you're okay with this."
"The same way she's okay with it. Look, kid," Johnny closed his eyes and massaged his temples, he continued. "... me and her, we've been through some shit. Shit that you can't handle. But I know.. man, you care for her. And I don't want to hear your bullshit, you do care for her. And I do too. But she's not the kind to be with, y'know? She's gonna ruin--"
"Fuck! You weren't the only one who fucking told me that. I don't know what she did to you, but she's fine with me. If you think of her as this fucking tragedy on legs, then maybe you don't really care, don't you? But I do. So get off my fucking ass and don't see her again. Or I'm gonna have to report you." Jaemin didn't know where all of his words came from, but it did feel good. He doesn't think about the consequences of everything, but one thing's for sure. He's not gonna let anyone talk shit about you anymore.
Johnny, tho, never flinched. Instead, he smirks and even let out a chuckle. "You've got some nerves, kid. Okay. I'll back off. But don't come running back when she breaks you." he then turned around and got ready to leave, but a few steps in, he turned to Jaemin again.
"...oh, and tell her Happy birthday."
Jaemin stood there for a minute, watching Johnny leave. It's your birthday? How come you never said anything?
After a few deep breaths, he went inside the apartment again. Just in time when you walked out the bathroom, hair all wet and with a set of new pajamas.
"You done?" Jaemin approached with a smile.
"Yeah. You wanna take a shower?" You looked up at him. He shook his head as he patted your head. "You hungry?" he asked.
You smiled even more, looking up at him expectantly, "Please?"
"Okay. I'll go get us some food, alright? You don't worry your pretty little head." Jaemin gave you a kiss on the top of your head before getting his pants and keys, walking out of the apartment.
Not even half an hour, Jaemin came back. Not only with takeout, but also a bento box. You looked at him kind of confused on what it is, but when he opened it, your eyes widen. It was a small cake that he bought on the convenience store. He wanted a much more expensive one but he also wants to get back to you as soon as possible.
He then pulled out a small candle, sticking it onto the cake. Pulling out a newly bought lighter, and lighting the candle. "Happy birthday, princess. Make a wish." He smiles softly at you.
When all of this was happening, you didn't say a thing. You just looked at him with your glassy eyes, your mouth slightly apart. You blinked hard and fast before finally tracing back to yourself, "I'm.. how did you know?" you asked.
"Doesn't matter. Now come on, candle's burning out." Thats when you looked down on the candle, quickly closing your eyes, clasping your hands together as you thought hard about what you're wishing. Seconds after, you opened your eyes and blew on the candle.
Jaemin was still smiling, setting the small cake aside to give you a kiss on your forehead. He was surprised when your arms wrapped around his waist.
"Why do you have to make me so happy, Jaem? You make it so hard. So hard." You whispered, but Jaemin heard everything. He desparately wanted to answer, because he had an answer. And its something he's afraid to tell you. Because the result was uncertain. Its either it goes perfectly well, or he lose you. And he's not gonna take that risk.
So instead, he just returned your embrace, but even more tighter, giving you another kiss on your forehead. "I don't know." he answered quietly, lying to you and to himself.
"You're a good person, Jaem. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Your vulnerable voice made Jaemin feel warm. In a way, you sounded truthful. You felt genuine.
"You're lucky, then." Slowly, Jaemin. Lay it on her slowly.
"I can't have you." Your bitter smile showed.
"Why not?" Every second counted, every breath you take suddenly mattered.
"I can't do that to you," With a shaking voice, you buried your face in his chest even more.
"I don't understa--"
"Just shut up, shut the fuck up and let me have this." And with that, Jaemin never muttered another word. Instead, he just held you closer like this was the last time he gets to do so.
"Jaem?" You looked up at him, Jaemin looked dow n at you with his eyebrows up.
"I'm sorry." You said. And Jaemin didn't want to ask why you were apologizing, he doesn't like to know the reason behind it. Because he doesn't want you to give him a reason why he needs to forgive you about something.
---
"I think I'm inlove with her."
"Ya think?" Jeno, deep inside his phone, seems like he's stressed about something. Never minding his best friend's struggle, because everybody already knew Jaemin was inlove with you. It's not new information.
"Fuck! Shit!" Both their heads turn as they saw Renjun ran inside their hangout spot and closed the door.
"Hell is wrong with you?" Jaemin asked, but Renjun ignored him and proceeds to lock the door.
"Why's everybody so weird today?" Jaemin mumbled.
It is a very weird day for Jaemin. Somehow, he feels like something's not right. Well, yeah, his undying love for you was one thing he was stressed about but there's more, today's not like every other day, he thought.
That goes on for the rest of his morning. Its like he's waiting on something to happen, like everybody was so tense. You didn't text or call either, which was feeding onto Jaemin's paranoia. It's not like he's being clingy, but he's genuinely feeling something unsettling in his chest.
Maybe it was the coffee he had this morning, or maybe the fact that he's never had this dilemma about a girl before.
So, finally giving up his pride, he texted you.
4:50pm jaemin: wya
4:52pm jaemin: heyy
4:58pm jaemin: ??
You not answering definitely did not help. So, the next big thing he can come up with was go to your apartment. Not a smart choice but Jaemin never once claimed to be smart.
Once he took a step towards your door, for a moment. Jaemin regretted going here. He can see that your lights are on, and can hear shuffling inside. But fuck it, he's already here.
He thought you had someone over, maybe Johnny, or someone else. That made him heated. But the closer he was on your front door, he heard yelling-- and another voice, which he could tell was from a girl.
The door was ajar-- and once he was right infront of it, he could hear everything.
"Y/N! Please! Not him-- he's a good person. You know that!" He confirmed that it was Jiho who was arguing with you.
"I don't care what you feel, Jiho. Get the fuck out of my apartment!"
"Leave Jaemin alone--" Once Jaemin heard his name, his feet froze on the spot.
"Why the fuck are you so nosy? Is it because I stole your little Na Jaemin? Then go ahead! Get him back! But, oh-- newsflash, he doesn't want you anymore. Washed up and used--" The sound of a slap made Jaemin finally interfere. He walked up inside your apartment and saw you holding your cheek and Jiho crying. Both of them looked at him shocked.
"What are you doing here?" Jiho was the first one to speak, but Jaemin's eyes were focused on you.
"Did you just hurt her?" Jaemin was angry. The sight of your cheeks red and the fact that he knows Jiho just slapped you didn't sit right with him.
"Didn't you heard what she said?! Didn't you fucking understand what kind of person she is?" Jiho cried even more, she couldn't believe that someone as sweet as Jaemin would side with the most vile person she knows.
"Doesn't give you the right to hurt her." Jaemin threw all his principles away at this point. He doesn't care anymore.
"You're poisoning his mind, Y/N!" Jiho shouted, which you just smirked at her. Jaemin can't find the warmth inside your eyes, he just saw something empty.
"I didn't do shit, Jiho. Maybe you should just learn how to get out of my fucking trail. Or should I do something? Should I break your brother's heart for the second time?" Jaemin didn't know this version of you. Its like you've thrown away every emotion you have just to spite everyone.
"Don't you fucking dare." Jiho attempted to step towards you again but Jaemin put himself in between you and Jiho.
"Just go, Jiho." Jaemin calmly said.
Jiho didn't say anything, and let out a huge puff before walking out of the apartment, sobbing. She slammed the door shut and quickly the room went silent. None of you dared to talk for the first couple of minutes.
"I didn't want you here," you started.
Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, picking up some things that fell on the floor, trying to fix the apartment. Your paint brushes, your keys, and even some of your photos were on the floor. Must've been a very intense argument.
"Did you hear me, Jaemin? I don't want you here!" your voice strained, Jaemin pretended not to hear you as he continue to clean up the mess.
"Are you hungry? Want me to get you dinner?" Jaemin's voice was as normal as it can be. It doesn't make sense to you. But everything in this situation doesn't make sense.
Jaemin should be mad. Jaemin should go and leave you. Jaemin wasn't supposed to stay.
"Whatever-- do what you want. I'm going to bed."
Jaemin likes to think that in a couple of hours, you'll come up and be in a great mood. Sun shining and all that corny shit. Jaemin was also overly enthusiastic, one that masks with the real thing he's feeling right now. Nervous. Worried.
For a couple of days. Jaemin tried his best to get you out of your apartment because remember, you two are students. You were supposed to go to school. But you never left your bed. And for the first few days, Jaemin didn't go to school too. He was in your apartment day and night, looking after you. This wasn't like you before, Jaemin swears its like you're a whole new different person.
You didn't talk, didn't want to get up, and he knows damn well you aren't sleeping for the past days. You just layed there, emotionless.
He didn't know why he was doing this. You weren't you anymore and Jaemin doesn't know who he was even taking care of anymore. But he's still here. He's still with you.
The third day went and Jaemin is still in your apartment. Ignoring his friends-- and shit, even his mom. He doesn't want them to know why he's MIA for the past few days. He doesn't want everyone to know yours and his business. Whatever happenes between you two, stays between you two.
Jaemin woke up with you sitting on the kitchen. Eyes staring at nowhere, hair dishevelled and bags under your eyes forming.
"Goodmorning," Jaemin said in his sweet voice, careful not to scare you.
"I don't know how many times I should tell you this, but you should go, Jaemin. While I'm being nice." Even your voice sounds like a stranger. The pinch of joy that used to come with your voice were no longer there.
"I will, but I need to make sure you're fine---"
"I'm fine! I don't fucking need you here!" You yelled, Jaemin flinched but still remained calm.
"Are you hungry--"
"Maybe you've become dumb and stupid that you can't comprehend a simple fucking sentence, huh? I'm done with you, Jaemin. I'm sorry but you're useless to me now. I need a new face around here and yours is--"
"You really want me to leave?" Jaemin sincerely asked, like he was tired. Your eyes lifted, and you nodded.
"Yes." Jaemin's lips formed a thin line, his jaw clenched.
"Fine." He calmly walked away-- and convinced he can't take it anymore. He was tired mentally, emotionally and physically. You didn't want to be helped and Jaemin knew he can't handle you.
But as soon as the door shut behind him, his feet stood frozen as he waited. And not even a couple of minutes, the sound of your sobbing on the other side of the door made Jaemin turn his steps.
He was tired, but not fatigued. He knew he couldn't handle you but he can try. You didn't want to be helped but maybe tomorrow you change your mind. And maybe, just maybe, he can take another day.
"Breakfast, y/n. Come on." Jaemin, the fourth day. He went home for a bit, took a shower, but quickly went back to your place. And in his surprise, you were out of bed.
He can hear the faucet running, so he knew you were in the bathroom.
A few moments later, he heard you coming out of the shower. And there you are, hair all wet, freshen up after a few dreadful days and Jaemin was starting to see the color coming back in your skin.
"You feeling better, baby?" He softly asked.
"What are you still doing here?"
Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, giving you the most precious smile he had. "Come on, I cooked pancakes."
"Jaemin, get out. We're done, Jaemin. Get the fuck out!" Tears started forming again in your newly healed eyes, as you pointed out the door.
"I'm not leaving you, y/n." Finally, Jaemin acknowledged the situation.
"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? When I say we're done, we're done, Jaemin. Can't get that through your thick head?" Words spew like venom, Jaemin starting to feel like he's staring at a stranger. Who is this person in front of him?
"I know you're upset and you haven't eaten a proper meal in days--"
"The fuck do you care?" And with that, you ticked something off from Jaemin.
"Fuck do I care?! Y/N, you've pushed everyone around you away and I was the one who stayed! For days I didn't go anywhere and stayed with you, y/n. Do I care?! Because even if I don't know what the fuck is going on with you I still fucking stayed! So yeah, I'd like to think that I care for you because I fucking lo-- shit!" Jaemin caught himself before actually saying the thing. He knows its a deal breaker if he said it but hopefully, you already felt it.
"Did I ask you to do all of that shit?"
Jaemin can almost feel his heart shatter. You really didn't care about him, or his feelings. He had a little bit of hope. And with a single sentence, you destroyed it.
Jaemin let out a humourless chuckle. "Fine. We're fucking done, y/n."
---
It's been a week and Jaemin's friends started to worry. Jaemin barely ate-- didn't attend his classes and barely got out of their hangout spot. Jeno had a call with his mom and told him that Jaemin didn't once contact them in almost a month. And thats where Jeno knew something was wrong. Jaemin loved his mom-- and he would never ghost her.
"Man, I don't know what to do. He just flicked me off when I offered him ramen." Haechan was serious. You barely see him being this concerned-- but even him, knows something was wrong with Jaemin.
"Is it about that y/n girl?" Renjun asked.
"Probably. I mean, eversince she came into the picture Jaemin basically became a different person." Jeno haven't met you yet, but this, what you're doing to his bestfriend definitely isn't giving a good impression.
"Maybe they're done. If Jaemin's looking like this and haven't mentioned a single thing about her, I think that's what this is." Renjun said, looking at his friend, and his sleeping figure.
"I have an idea." Haechan stood up and huddled his friends, but Jeno and Renjun stepped away. "No, Haechan, you don't."
"What? At least I'm trying to help our friend!" He grabbed both of his friends again, "Anyways-- we should introduce him to another girl. Get him back in the game, y'know?"
"What are we talking about?" The three of them almost jumped when Jaemin was suddenly huddled with them.
"Nothing! We're just thinking about how much booze we're buying for Jeno's party." Haechan's quick wits came into action but Jaemin didn't buy it.
"Stop being weird." He casually walked back to the sofa and plopped himself down again.
Jeno tho, had enough. "You're weird! What the fuck is with this act, bro? You look lovesick or some shit."
"m not doing anything, the fuck are you on about?" Jeno got even more pissed, because Jaemin was blatantly lying.
"That girl you're with is causing trouble, dude. You're barely going to class, we haven't seen you in days, you didn't call your mom in a week and just for her to fuck with the school nurse?" Jeno's still calm, not wanting to escalate the situation. But he figured that Jaemin needs to hear it one way of another.
Jaemin was visibly confused. What did Jeno mean about you with nurse suh? Didn't he already dealt with that?
"Saw her yesterday at the nearby convenience store with Nurse Suh. I don't know, dude but she's not worth all this shit. And I don't even wanna talk about the stuff I heard about her previous school, man." Haechan was a little hesitant about confronting Jaemin, but since Jeno has already started it he's got no choice but to just say it.
"You're out of your mind if you think you have the right to say all that shit. You don't even know her." Every word that Jaemin says was delivered with so much intensity, even the boys were starting to feel uneasy.
"We're just confused Jaem, eversince you met that y/n girl its like you became a whole new perso--" Renjun was cut off when Jaemin let out a scoff.
"Okay, I see what's going on here. If we're airing out our business here then let me have my fucking turn." Jaemin stepped towards Jeno, "You, aren't you shagging your lil bro's bestfriend? Yeah? Guess what, so is half the school."
"Hey, the hell? What's wrong with you, man?" Haechan interfered. He knew the look that Jeno has right now was serious, and he also knew that if he didn't get in between them, chaos will ensue. So he quickly stepped beside Jeno.
"What the fuck do you know about me and her, Renjun? I minded my own business when you went out with your girl out of pity." Jaemin doesn't know where that came from, but it already went out his lips. He wasn't the one to say things like that but somehow it came out. Renjun was fazed, to say the least.
"And you--" Jaemin let out an sigh and smirked, slowly turning towards Haechan. "You talk high and mighty but everybody knows you're a fucking cheater, Lee Haechan. So you, especially you, doesn't have the right to even mutter a thing about her. Because if we're talking about being an asshole, you take the fucking throne." Jaemin's eyes are empty, and so his mind. He just wanted to say anything to get back at his friends without thinking.
"Fuck you, man. Seriously. All this for that girl? You look fucking pathetic, Na Jaemin." Jeno was aggravated and fuming, but he was never gonna go down with violence, specially with his best friend. He knew better.
"It doesn't even fucking matter what you think about her anymore, cuz y'know what? We're done. She doesn't wanna see me anymore. So go ahead and talk shit about her but make sure I'm not in the fucking room next time." The room was silent, they didn't know what to say. Obviously because this was the first time they saw Jaemin like this.
"I think this shit got out of hand, I know you're upset but we're just genuinely concerned, dude." Renjun, now on the much calmer side, tries to difuse the situation.
"Okay, I'm just gonna ignore what you said because I know you're upset, Jaemin. But come on, man, you've met her what? For two months? And you're already losing yourself? I swear if this could be any other girl I wouldn't say anything but man.. she's only trouble. And you can get angry at us all you want but I'm glad you got out of that situation." This side of Haechan was rarely seen, because it only comes out when they need it the most. And for Jaemin, its also rare that he agrees with Haechan but this time, he did.
For the next week, Jaemin tried to bring himself back, and his friends noticed it too. He became active again, going to parties with them and even got back to planning on Jeno's birthday party. There was no sign of you, your name or your presence. Jaemin was starting his old ways again, meeting some girls here and there.
"Hey, what did I tell ya, huh? She's great, isn't she?" Haechan grinned at him, as they walked together.
"Nah, I've had better." Jaemin non-chalantly said.
Haechan looked at his friend, smile slowly getting bigger. "There's the asshole I know, glad you're back to the game, man!" Haechan with his proudest smile, shook Jaemin playfully and but the boy did nothing but chuckle.
His friends were satisfied and pretty much convinced that you were completely out of Jaemin's system. To see Jaemin go back to whatever he was before you, definitely brought back the Jaemin they knew.
"Happy birthday, man! Whew, how does it feel to be an old hag?" Haechan joked as he hugged Jeno, Jeno just playfully pushed him away.
The music was loud and people were starting to fill up Jeno's house. It's his parent's house and they were out of town, as per Jeno's request on his birthday. No one wants to party with their parents, ofcourse.
To say that Jaemin pulled off the party planning was an understatement. It was only 8pm and the party is already packed. Jaemin really outdid himself on this one, also with a little help from Haechan and Renjun.
"Happy birthday, Lee! This party is fucking lit, dude!" Yangyang, from engineering department went and greeted Jeno. "We've got Jaemin to thank for that." Jeno responded loudly, trying to communicate among the loud music.
"Yeah-- where's Na?" Yangyang asked, and Jeno was clueless as him. He knew Jaemin was in the house, he saw him earlier. But after that he never saw him again.
His eyes went around the room to find atleast Haechan or Renjun, and he only found Renjun on the side, in his phone. "He's around, somewhere." Jeno answered, bidding goodbye to the friend and walked across the room to approach Renjun.
"Where's Jaemin?" Jeno managed to ask.
"Upstairs with the girl Haechan introduced him to!" Renjun wiggled his eyebrows at Jeno, and Jeno nodded in agreement. At least he knew Jaemin was having fun.
Little did they know, Jaemin wasn't having fun.
"Come on, Jaemin.. how long does it take?" The girl whispered sexually, kissing his neck like its her last meal.
"Just.. don't talk." Usually it doesn't take Jaemin this long to get hard, but the girl just doesn't do it for him. Its been almost thirty minutes and Jaemin is getting tired, but he also doesn't want to disappoint, so he tries his best to focus on the girl, but he just couldn't.
His phone constantly vibrating doesn't help, so he grabbed it and threw it on the other side of the bed.
Jaemin closed his eyes, felt every single touch and did the worst thing he could ever do to himself. He imagined it was you.
You were touching him, kissing him and giving him warmth. It's you he's with, not this girl, not any girl. Its you. And it worked. It brought back memories of you that sparked something in his body. Small waves of pleasure started. And just as he's slowly starting to function, he heard the door open.
Jaemin's back was facing the door but the girl on his lap can see who just entered. The little mindgames in his head was interupted when the sound of the door brought him back to reality.
"What the fuck? This room is occupied!" The girl with him yelled, completely destroying the fantasy Jaemin created in his head. He's back to square one again, and this time he's not trying again.
As soon as the intruder left, Jaemin lifted the girl off his lap. "Sorry, Cindy, bab--" he can't even call her 'baby'. "--but you need to go."
Jaemin didn't wait for her answer and left her on the bed while he walked and locked himself on the bathroom.
As soon as he knew that the girl had officially left, that's when he went out to his room again. His hands finding his phone, he checked what time it is. 9pm.
Jaemin brushed his hands through his hair, frustrated and strssed.
He ignored the multiple chat that Jeno and Renjun had sent, and went to an food delivery app instead.
Delivery Status: Successful
Items: 1 Full Steak Meal with Pineapple Juice and NY Cheesecake
Total: 80,000krw
Notes: Don't skip a meal :) -J
Jaemin has been sending food to your place for the past week. In exactly 9pm, when he knew you'd usually have your dinner.
The next morning, he woke up fine. He didn't really drink much so he didn't have any sort of headaches or symptoms of a bad hangover.
The house was eerily quiet, as usual, the morning after a very big party.
He was the first to wake up and the whole house was trashed. He didn't expect anything else, ofcourse seeing the amount of people last night.
He knew all four of them was still in the house tho, maybe a couple of girls, so as the designated sober person he took the initiative to prepare breakfast. It was calming for Jaemin to take care of people.
Not long after he heard a couple of footsteps, and of course, it was Renjun.
"Mornin'" Renjun, hair sticking out everywhere, still in his clothes from last night.
"Had fun last night?" Jaemin asked, smirking.
"Didn't you read the texts I sent you last night?" Renjun asked. Jaemin's smirk disappeared.
"What text?"
"Jeno wouldn't want me to tell you this but... she was here. She was looking for you but Jeno and I didn't tell her where you were. She knew that you were here because she told us you invited her a while ago, she looks so.. tired. And then she asked Jisung, who doesn't have a clue with the whole y/n situation so he told her that you were upstairs." Renjun thought that Jaemin needed to know what happened. Jeno thought otherwise.
Jaemin felt his blood drain out of his body. He remembered someone knocking and opening the door to where he was with a girl last night, but he didn't know who it was. Jaemin's heart was racing. He was sure it was you. And he was also sure how fucked up it is to find him like that.
Jaemin didn't say anything, grabbing his keys as he left Renjun thinking if he made the right decision.
"Y/n! Y/n!" Jaemin was knocking on your door with urgency, and after a few, the door opened.
You were there. Standing in front of him but why can't Jaemin find any familiarity?
You were so different. You've lost weight. You're not you-- yet his heart still beats the same. His eyes still found warmth as you looked at him. The smile that left no trace on your face still lingered around Jaemin's memories and for that he still knows that somehow, you're still you.
"Hey." You whispered. You sounded weak.
Jaemin was about to hug you-- confront you about last night but once his eyes left the beauty that is your face, his heart skipped a beat. His body froze, he felt like time stopped.
Your shirt. Your fucking shirt. You're wearing a faded out starwars shirt.
"W-what are you wearing?"
"Oh this? Ah, right! Tell Haechan thank you for last night-" You smiled, the sweetest smile that Jaemin once loved, was now stabbing him in the chest.
"Don't..-- Why are you-- I don't understand.." Jaemin finally broke down, eyes letting go of the tears he held. You're breaking him down-- you're ruining him.
"What? You thought I was better?"
"Y/n.. don't do this to me.." Jaemin whispered. Knees giving out, yet he remained still.
"I don't know what to tell you, Jaemin. I'm everything they told you I would be."
"You're just.. cruel. My friend, y/n? My fucking friend?" In contrast with his cursing, his tone wasn't angry. It was despair.
"Will you leave me now?"
"Did you.. did you sleep with him?" Stupid question.
"I don't know, Jaemin. Did I?"
"You're.. fuck, y/n you're just cruel. Cruel and fucking unfair. Whatever did I do to you?" His voice strained. Drip-drop.
"Do you finally hate me?" Drip-drop.
Drip-drop.
Drip...drop.
"Yeah.. yeah I think I do."
And there it was. The last drop of Jaemin's feelings for you. Congratulations, y/n. You've finally drained him out of love.
---
Three days, Jaemin went off the grid. He stayed with his mom, giving himself a break.
He didn't want to contact any of his friends. At least not for now. He knew he still had that pent up anger towards Haechan, and he don't want to do anything that would result in him being violent. He knew that it was all your plan, just to get him to leave you alone.
What he couldn't understand is why Haechan did it. Haechan knew what Jaemin felt for you, like shit, he knew before Jaemin even knew for himself. He was one of the people who made Jaemin realize his feelings for you.
He wished he had listened to everybody and just left you alone. He wished he took everyone's advice and minded his own business. Maybe all of this wouldn't have happened.
Eventually he had to comeback. His school isn't very much happy with him and its not like its the end of the world. Everything is moving on but him, and nobody likes to be left behind.
As soon as his friends saw him, Haechan froze. He quickly tried and approached Jaemin. "Dude. Where were you? Everybody was looking for you--"
"Don't touch me, Lee Haechan." Jaemin wasn't angry, but he wasn't calm either. His tone is strong and firm, enough to stop Haechan from his tracks.
"Is this about Jeno's birthday?" Jaemin wanted to punch Haechan for even bringing it up. How could he?
"I swear to God if you don't step back--"
"What the hell is wrong with you, Jaemin?" Renjun was the one to interfere this time.
"What's wrong with me? This fucker slept with y/n and you're asking me what's wrong with me, Huang?!"
"Hold up-- hold the fuck up, What do you mean?" Jeno, eyes going back and forth between Haechan and Jaemin.
"She told you we slept together?" Haechan was legitamately confused.
"She was wearing your ugly ass shirt, Haechan."
"Yeah because I lent it to her? She was at the party and I accidentally bumped into her and she got alcohol spilled all over her shirt, Jaemin. So I had to fucking give her a shirt and then she ran away right after. You think I'd do that to you?!" Haechan was fully arguing with him now but Jaemin had remained silent.
Then why did you let him think that you did it? Why would you put him through this? Are you that desparate to make Jaemin hate you?
Jaemin brushed his palm all over his face. He was dumbfounded. He then plops down on the couch, deliberately thinking about the past few days he spent trying to get you off his head. And he thought he was damn near on succeeding, but the sudden information struck him down again.
And just as the tension was slowly coming down, a sudden intrusion on their room made the four of them look at the door.
"He's here? Na Jaemin!" Jiho burst through the door, passing through the three boys who were too caught in the moment to stop her.
"J-Jiho.." Jaemin stood up again, as Jiho stood in front of him.
"What did you do?!" Jiho was frustrated and angry, to say the least.
"Let's calm down," Renjun, the forever pacifist meekly attempted to delute the situation in hand.
"No! I told you, Jaemin! We told you to stay away from her!" Jiho.
"Are you blaming him? Your friend is a pathological liar who likes to play with peopl--" Jiho angrily turned towards Jeno, making the boy stop his rant.
"You're not part of this." Jiho then looked at Jaemin again.
"We're done, Jiho. I don't want her anymore. I don't want anything to do with her--"
Jiho smirked, "She left, Jaemin. She pulled out of school."
The room filled with silence, and it was so loud. Nobody wanted to say anything, partly because they were waiting for Jaemin to react.
"She-- what?" Jaemin was shocked. His body didn't know how to react. Every bones started to feel loose, it was so eerily quiet that it feels like he can count the seconds it takes for his heart to beat again.
Jiho's tears started to flow. "She was sober for six months, you know? We thought we finally fixed her-- she was doing fine. And then you-- you just had to come in and ruin everything."
"I don't underst--"
"I don't want to blame it all on you, because I know you're also hurt-- but Jaemin we begged you to stay away from her. But you didn't. You--" Jiho sat down, hands on her face, shoulders shaking.
"S-she--" Jaemin couldn't form a sentence.
"Where were you? In the past three days, Jaemin, where were you?" Jiho took a sharp breath, raising her head and looked at Jaemin once again.
"I was at my mom's..." Jaemin answered meekly.
"I found out last Thursday. When you saw us fighting at her apartment, that was when I caught her doing drugs. I was trying to--, fuck, I was trying to throw it away and then she got angry and started to talk about you. I guess she felt that you were by the door and started to talk about you.." Jaemin remembers that clear as day. The day you visibly changed right in front of his eyes.
"She left Sacred Heart last year because of the scandal. It hit her so bad, and that's when it started. She was introduced to drugs and later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Me and Jeonghan knew her from our childhood and we did our best to help her. And then she went out with Jeonghan and that's when our falling apart happened. She broke my brother's heart and I can't even blame her because I know she only did it because she wants everyone to leave her. She thinks she's a burden to everybody. And then Nurse Suh came into the picture and helped her to get free medication, and when she did, eventually her addiction stopped. And then you happened, and for a while she was so happy. But suddenly Nurse Suh cut her off and the medication stopped. That's why she drove you away, Jaemin. You know what she told Jeonghan before she left? She said that you didn't deserve to be with her."
"She can't leave, did you check the apartment?" Denial. Jaemin can't process everything yet. He doesn't want to.
"Her stuff's out of the apartment. We found this," Jiho pulled out a polaroid picture. Jiho reached out to Jaemin, swiftly before letting go of the photo.
"She's a good person, Jaemin. She's just broken. I know you did your best, but we can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped. I just hope you don't hate her forever." Jiho then walked away.
Jeno, Haechan and Renjun was silent. They didn't say anything, not to disturb their friend's moment of silence. One by one, the left the room, leaving Jaemin and a photo that had a glimpse of a moment where you were once his.
It was the picture of you and Jaemin. Happily smiling. Upon seeing the photo, Jaemin finally broke down.
At the back, there was something written.
Hi, Jaem. Thank you for the food you've been sending! Although I didn't eat it, I still know that it's delicious!! Remember when we talked about photography? How I love people's smile? Guess what? I think yours is my favorite. So please keep wearing it. You're precious, Jaem. I am so sorry for everything. I hope you get the love that you deserve. Do me a favor and forget me, will you? -y/n :)
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
"Is it on?" Jaemin was a giggling mess, infront of you as you filmed him beside you on your bed, nothing but the sheets.
"It is! Okay, ladies and gents,--"
"This man right here," You booped his nose, "Just gave me a mind blowing orgasm about.. hm, six minutes ago?" Jaemin laughed at the camera, before wiggling his eyebrows at it. "I did, one of my proudest talents."
"Shut up!" you laughed. "Anyways, Mr. Jaemin-ssi. Tell the whole world your age and what you want to be when you grow up!" You giggled, focusing the camera on his bare face. His eyes heavy, smile reaching his eyes.
"22, and yours." He whispered as he looked at your eyes instead of the camera lense.
"What? You barely said anything!"
"I just did what you told me, baby. I told my whole world what my age was and what I wanted to be." Jaemin can see the sudden rush of color on your cheeks. You frowned cutely.
"You're a loser." A tinge of smile you desperately hid made Jaemin laugh. He likes it when you pretend you don't like his corny takes.
Jaemin then grabbed the camera, now turned it to you, also nothing but the sheets and bare face. Jaemin is convinced this is what heaven must look like.
"Now to my pretty interviewer-- aren't you gorgeous?" You jokingly cleared your throat, smiled so big that it could make anyone blind.
"Hi, I'm y/n, Jaemin's pretty interviewer."
"So, my pretty girl. 5 years from now, how do you see yourself?" You were a bit unprepared with Jaemin's question, he sees it the way your smiles faltered a bit.
It took you a minute before you answered, "Better. I hope I can be better so I can take care of this little manchild." You somehow turned it light, grabbing the camera from Jaemin and pointing at him.
"Well, y/n from 5 years from now, I'm glad-- I hope, I'm still there by your side."
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
"Yeri, I've told you a hundred times, she's my mother so you need to treat her with respect!" Jaemin can't help but yell, just as he followed Yeri out of the restaurant.
"She doesn't like me, Jaemin! Gosh your mother is so-, I'm not dealing with her shit anymore, Jaemin!" Yeri yelled back, stomping her feet as she walked toward's Jaemin's car.
Yeri is Jaemin's girlfriend for four months. He went out with her upon his father's request and to his mother's dismay. His father thought Jaemin could finally settle down with a woman after you.
Jaemin can't help but grunt, looking up, frustrated and honestly just tired. Everyday he questions why he's even with Yeri. The girl did nothing but drain his wallet, disrespect his mother and treat him like a trophy boyfriend.
"She's not allowed in our apartment anymore," Yeri said as she settles herself on Jaemin's passenger seat.
"What apartment? It's my apartment and you sleep there, Yeri. And you can't just-- ban my mother from my place!" Jaemin has already forgotten the time where him and Yeri never argued.
"Did you see the way she looked at me? And you're gonna sit there and not defend me?" Jaemin admits that his mother did have a distaste with his girlfriend, but never once did his mother did anything to show that. She is not that kind of person and Jaemin's sure he's not the only one to vouch for that.
"She was trying to make a conversation and you blatantly ignored her, Yeri."
"I didn't like her tone." she rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone as Jaemin drove. He decided not to talk anymore, mostly because he doesn't want to argue anymore.
"What're we doing here?" Yeri saw that he parked outside her apartment complex.
"I need time for myself, Yeri. I can't handle you anymore." He expressed with utmost respect.
"Are you kidding me? You're kicking me out of your place?!" Yeri squealed, almost making Jaemin cover his ears.
"You can disrespect me but not my mom, Yeri."
Yeri smirked, crossed her arms on her chest, and looked at Jaemin. "You're trash, Jaemin. Such a fucking mama's boy. I bet this isn't even about your mother, huh? Still about that bitch who left y--"
"Get out or I'm gonna have to drag you out, Yeri. Please." Thankfully, Yeri did get out, but not walking away before she slams the door, making Jaemin flinch a bit. He makes sure the Yeri actually went in the building before he drove off.
He pulled out his phone, texting his mom. He decided that he'll just go back to the restaurant and apologize for Yeri's behavior. He knew that his mom was hurt, and he can't let the night pass without comforting his mom.
Luckily, the restaurant is near where he was so it took him about ten minutes to go back. Getting out of his car, he wondered if his parents are still there.
Looking further inside the restaurant, he didn't notice someone walking out the door so inevitably, he bumped and collided with a man. He quickly bows, "I'm sorry, man."
"No worries," Jaemin was a bit perplexed on how deep the man's voice is, but shrugged it off anyways.
"Felix!"
Jaemin felt his heart stop a beat. He knows that voice.
"I'm here," The man responded.
Jaemin was frozen on the spot. He was afraid to look behind him and put a face in to the voice he just heard, but he's sure as hell he's not leaving this spot without knowing who it is.
"Excuse me," This time, the woman was much closer to him as she walked pass Jaemin.
His breath hitched, time slows down as he saw the back of her head.
Before she could even take a step further, Jaemin grabbed her wrists, not thinking of anything,-- just the fact that he desparately wanted to see her face.
"Hey!-- What,-- Jaemin?"
There you are.
Jaemin gulped before blinking to see if he was just hallucinating but there you really are. "Y/N," he whispered, more to himself.
"You know him?" The man, who he assumes was Felix, asked, looking at Jaemin's hands on your wrist. It brought Jaemin back to reality, and swiftly let go of your hand.
"Y-yeah," Your cheeks burned, not letting your eyes away from Jaemin. It was like everyone else blurred out, and you two were the only ones in the room.
"You okay, man?" Thats when Jaemin realized that his jaw was actually a bit slacked, staring at you for a solid minute now. He shook his head to look at Felix,
"Yeah. Uh, y/n, how-- how are you?" Jaemin's breathing was starting to get abnormal, as he was really shocked to see you here.
"Good," you cleared your throat, "Great, actually. Uhm, Felix, this is Jaemin," "Jaemin, Felix." The two shook hands, Felix was still visibly confused but Jaemin was still stuck on you.
"Old friend?" Felix asked.
"Is that what she told you?" Jaemin, glancing on you.
"Yes?" Felix was starting to feel uncomfortable, as he had no clue what the heck is happening in front of him. You two looked perplexed and out of it, to say the least.
"I--, We need to go, Felix. Hey, uhm, Jaemin-?" It was obvious you were aghast, just like Jaemin.
Jaemin looked back at you again, "Yeah?"
"I'll see you around?" You uttered.
"Okay." Jaemin said quietly.
The two started to walk away from Jaemin, but Jaemin was left there frozen. In his own thoughts, drowing in memories about you. Everything came crashing back on him and it was overwhelming. After so long, you still had that power over him. You still manage to get his guard down.
This is fucking dangerous. Jaemin shouldn't even feel like this. One look, one word-- and its like his whole being fell again. Is destiny truly fucking with him? He took so long-- months, to get you out his system. Or at least burn it so deep inside his brain along with the memories you have. And for what? All of it being opened like a freshly sewed wound, all because of a three second interaction?
That night, Jaemin went home with a feeling so familiar. Like he wanted to find you again. Just like the first time he saw you at that cafeteria. He wonders if he'll see you again.
Actually, no. He will make sure to see you again.
---
"You can't break up with me,"
Jaemin sighed, he didn't know what else to do. This was the only way Jaemin thought of, specially after his encounter with you. He knew the effect you had on him that night wasn't the innocent 'seeing your friend after long time' type of thing. He knew there's more to it.
"I'm sorry," and he really is. He didn't want to string Yeri along, and doesn't want to give her false hope that this relationship is going somewhere.
"Is this about your stupid mom? Fine, I'll apologize!" The thing with his mom was also a big thing in coming to this decision. Jaemin likes to think that even if he didn't see you that night, this breakup was inevitable. It was coming, sooner or later.
"Don't-- don't call my mother like that, Yeri, please. And no, there's more to it. Please, I want a clean breakup," Jaemin didn't want to elaborate, he didn't want to hurt Yeri even more.
"You can't leave me, Jaemin! We have a party to attend-- I already told them about you! Do you want me to be embarrassed?" Of course. Of course its about the fucking party.
Jaemin was a trophy for Yeri. Handsome and rich, Yeri bragged about having him in her palms. Jaemin never complained about it but it does bother him. And Yeri bringing it up now just showed him how Yeri never really cared about this relationship.
"You can find a new boy toy, somewhere else, Yeri. I'm done." He's not gonna lie, there's still a pang of guilt when he walked away from Yeri. He knew it was unavoidable, yet it with you in the picture again, it does play a huge part.
"A fucking toast for the newly single man! I'm so proud of you for letting that devil reincarnate go!" Haechan was beyond sober, as he welcomed Jaemin who just came a few minutes earlier.
"You really did it, huh?" Renjun smiled, putting his arm around Jaemin's shoulder.
"Yeah, I guess." Jaemin shrugged. Every moment feels important to him. He doesn't have any idea when you'll show up again. So he better not drink even a drop of alcohol, just in case.
"Why the long face?" Jeno was buzzed aswell, completely leaning on the bar couch. Eyes barely open, he's been drinking quite a lot lately.
"Nothing," Jaemin doesn't want to say anything about you and his' encounter, he didn't want to jinx it.
The bar was loud and busy, yet Jaemin was quiet and stuffy. He does feel relieved, breaking up with Yeri was a huge weight off of his shoulder. But he can't get off his mind the words you said.
"I'll see you around?"
Where exactly is around? When will you see him? Is it in the same restaurant? Will you text him to meet? Is that Felix guy your boyfriend?
"You're such a bore, Jaemin. Not even a shot?" Its a mystery how Jeno managed to stand on his feet with how drunk he is but he still did, handing Jaemin a shot, which Jaemin refused.
"Not in the mood,"
"Whatever. Y'know, eversince that gi-"
Before Jeno could even finish, Renjun, which had a little to zero alcohol in his system quickly pulled Jeno down beside him.
"I'll sew your mouth close, Lee. Now sit down and let me fucking find the other Lee." He was referring to Haechan, which also is drunk out of his mind, but still ran into the sea of people on the dancefloor.
"I need a breather," Jaemin decided to go outside the bar, but making sure that Jeno is well situated first before leaving the poor man laying in the couch.
In every other situation, he would've loved to match Jeno's energy and got drunk as much as his best friend, but this time he is truly not in the best condition to do so.
As soon as the bar's door closed behind him, the sudden silence was almost deafening. Which Jaemin wouldn't tell if its much worse than being inside, since he was left with only his thoughts and the street in front of him.
He crossed the road into a nearby convenience store, wanting some water or any drink that could possibly soothe his mind.
"Thank you," He bowed to the cashier, as he paid for the drink in hand.
The store was empty. Just him, the staff, and some random music quietly surrounding the store.
He sat by the stools, contemplating if he should just go home. Phone dead, he disregarded the idea of calling Renjun, who he is sure would prefer to be with him in this quiet convenience store rather than to babysit two grown adults who can't seem to handle their alcohol.
Dropping the phone on the side of the table, Jaemin quietly opened and drank the coca cola he bought. He just now realized that this was his dinner. He forgot to eat. Funny, Jaemin being a big advocate of not skipping a meal, skips a meal.
The dingling sound of the door was heard, Jaemin never bothered to look because again, this is a 7/11. People come and go. A slight set of footsteps was also prominent, seemingly roaming around the store.
"Can I sit here?"
Wide eyes, heart skipping a beat. The music was suddenly gone and everything else blurred out.
"Y-Y/N." He stuttered. He can't swiftly grasp the situation before you sat down the stool beside him.
"Hi." Your hair a bit shorter, cheeks a bit fuller, carrying a shade of pink, your figure covered with a thick coat.
You placed a couple of kimbap in front of you and a coca cola, same as his.
"What are you doing here?" Jaemin, carefully picking his choice of words as to not show any signs of discomfort.
"I was passing by and.. actually, no. I followed you here." For a moment there, you sounded like you wanted to lie, but backtracked and told Jaemin the truth.
"Did you now?" Jaemin remembered when he followed you that one time, and it feels like the tables have turned.
"Yeah, figured we needed to talk." You were timid, can't barely see Jaemin eye to eye. From his memories, you were always confident with what you say. So seeing this demeanor in front of him was a change.
"How are you?" Jaemin asked, genuinely curious.
"Never been better," You answered back, with a full chest and a heave of deep breath like you were relieved.
"I'm glad," Every last word was quickly followed by a complete silence.
After a few moments of deep thought, Jaemin wasn't sure what to say. Yes, before you showed up, questions was flooding in his brain. Asking for answers on why you left, why'd you lie and most importantly, why did you break him for no reason.
Jaemin's thoughts mustve been loud, hence the next dentence that came out of your lips.
"I'm guessing you have questions?"
Maybe Jaemin should've had a few shots before, to ease the tension and gain liquid courage, because fuck, he doesn't think he can handle this tonight.
But for the months you were gone, Jaemin isn't gonna pass this rare chance that you showed up, much more, showing up to talk to him properly.
"Why'd you leave?" Three words that circulated Jaemin's mind on those months you were gone. A question he asked himself a lot of times.
You were still for a bit, likely thinking about the answer. Jaemin could explode at any moment, he feels.
"I signed myself up for rehabilitation."
This wasn't the answer Jaemin expected. Its somehow a blow, to him, because he was angry at you for flaking on him for no reason. But now that you answered one of the many questions he had, it made Jaemin regret some of the things he had thought of about you. His guilt crept in.
"I-, I didn't know."
"Only a few knew about that. You were one of the unlucky ones to have suffered from it, so I thought you needed atleast an explanation." You smiled bitterly, still looking outside, whilst Jaemin looked at your side profile.
You continued. "I assume Jiho had filled you up with some of my dilemmas after I left. But trust me, Jaemin. I never intended to hurt you. You're so undeserving of the things I did but I had to make you hate me. I knew you cared for me back then, more than I had anticipated and I never really wanted to give myself that. I knew I can't receive love I didn't deserve. And I can feel it too, Jaem.." you paused.
Jaem. Oh how he missed the way you called him that.
".. I can feel that you really wanted to fix me. And you truly tried your best. But back then I didn't want to be fixed. And its unfair to have you selfishly. I never slept with your friend, I just made you believe that. I wanted you to despise me, to never think about me ever again." Well, you failed on that part, big time.
"Just hoped you gave me a chance to take care of you," Jaemin muttered.
"I'm not that evil to give you a burden like that,"
"You were never a burden to me,"
You let out a humourless grin, "I'd like to believe that, but we both know that's not true. For as long as I remember, I had been apologizing for just.. existing."
"I could've been there, y/n. I could've helped you."
"No, Jaemin. I don't think so, cuz even then, I couldn't even help myself." You spoke with great sincerity.
Another cruel moment of silence passed, and it was the most intense yet. None of you spoke, as if your thoughts were connected and understood each other without even saying a word.
"You really fucked me up, you know." It was now or never for Jaemin. Might as well open the can of worms now, and regret everything later. He might not have the same courage and opportunity as now.
"I did. And I'm so.. so sorry."
"But it's fine, y/n. I was young and naive, I guess I needed that. I already forgave you, fuck it, I don't even need to because I never truly hated you. All I did was love you, and even after you broke me, I still did." Looking into the distance, after so many failed attempts, he finally said it out loud. He was ready to risk it all, again.
"And I knew that, Jaemin. And maybe, I did love you too but back then I didn't know what love is. It was so scary and overwhelming that even from a distance, I already despised that kind of feeling."
"Are you... happy?" Jaemin thought about the man you were with. And at this moment, your answer was crucial, as it was a defining moment of what step or path he should go next.
"Yes. Are you?" Looking at him, you saw his eyes fill with unspoken comprehension of what its like to be happy and sad at the same time.
Happy that you're doing great, sad because he had just accepted the fact that you're much better with somebody else.
"I have no idea." And that was the truth. He wasn't sure if theres a word that could describe how he feels.
"Yeri, right? I heard from someone that you're with her. She seems great," Oh, what a great timing.
"We broke up already."
You widen your eyes and smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry,"
"No, its okay. It wasn't working anyways. It was bound to happen sooner or later. You and Felix?"
"He's a great friend. He helped me with sobriety and therapy." Friend? Is that so?
"I thought you were dating," Jaemin liked the way this is going, it gave him hope.
"No, not really, never had anyone after you."
Is Jaemin supposed to be proud? Nonetheless, he felt a slight flutter in his chest. He was about to make a decision that will ultimately trash the imaginary walls he tried to build.
"Have.. have you thought about what we could've been?" Oh, what a risky question.
"Yeah, even back then, I always dreamed about an alternate universe where I wasn't so fucked up and actually tried something with you." Okay. You seem fine now, you seem on track. It wouldn't hurt to try again, right? Jaemin wanted to slap himself. Do he really want to risk it again?
"You could still.. try." The answer is yes.
You furrowed your brows, tilted your head a bit, "I don't think you deserve another heartbreak, specially from me, you know?" You chuckled, yet Jaemin was serious. This time, he's set to have you. He has to have you.
"I'll gladly let you break my heart again, y/n. Trust me, you'll only find yourself inside."
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
Maybe Jaemin was setting himself up for another heartbreak, but this time he was certain. He was certain to give it his all-- everything he has to lose. You were worth every piece of his heart.
He kissed your lips like he held his entire life on it, like every moment were his last. Running your hands on his hair, you two blindly roamed around your apartment. Luckily, Jaemin still had the entire apartment sketched in his brain.
You felt his hands lower, lifting up your ass, signaling you to jump and cling onto him. You gladly did, and like a feather, he lifted you without any struggle. Lips still tangled together, Jaemin lowered you into the soft texture of your bed.
"I missed you so much," Jaemin groaned as he parted his lips from you. Seeing your face against the dimly lit room was majestic. Not long before he lowered his face onto your neck, giving it open mouth kisses that sent shivers down your spine.
Slowly, he tugged on your shirt upwards, lifted it and revealed your soft pink laced bra, covering your breast. Jaemin didn't waste time grabbed one of you breast, caressing it gently, just enough to bring you pleasure without discomfort.
"Hmm, I missed this," He groaned again.
You whined, being sensitive to every touch he gave you. His hands worked like magic, pulling down your bra and swiftly latching his mouth on your left nipple, while still caressing the other. "Ah, fuck.. baby." you moaned.
You can feel your core dripping already, desperate for any kind of friction. His expert hands left your boob, yet not leaving your skin, just lowering to the area you were sensitive the most. In a split second, your pants was undone and a cold breeze on your center gave you goosebumps all over. "So wet for me,"
"Yes.. yes, please, touch me." You begged for him. You needed him.
"You don't need to beg, princess." Just then, his middle finger applied pressure on your dripping core, igniting a spark that felt so good-- you couldn't help but buck your hips onto his hands.
He was gonna love you, and you were gonna love him. Tomorrow's uncertain, but today was sure. You were meant to be his, and he's meant to be yours.
Let your heart get what it wants. If you get hurt, then you have to endure. Jaemin endured the entire time and its your time to gamble.
While Jaemin was still devouring every inch of your skin, you took this chance to touch his clothed member- already rock hard, seeking freedom from the confinement of his pants. You traced it before gripping it through the fabric, making Jaemin hiss in pleasure.
"Take.. it off." Barely composing a sentence, Jaemin understood the assignment and pulled away, to undress himself. His top came off first, and just like a reflex, your hands quickly find his toned chest, down to his abs. You can't help but bite your lip, seeing his body again after so long. The only difference is, this time, he has a more mature build.
Tracing your hand down to his lower abdomen, and even much lower, and helped him undo his pants. As he disregarded all of his clothes, he didn't waste time and quickly lowered himself again to you. Kissing you with burning passion, he grind his hips onto yours, and you felt his hard length poking your thigh.
Using your hand, you grabbed it by the base, Jaemin reacting so sensitive made you excited. Your hands doing up and down motion, pointing finger tracing the slit on his pinkish tip.
"Fuck.. fuck baby, god." Jaemin couldn't help but groan deeply, urging you to move faster. Your movement all of a sudden halt, as Jaemin held your wrist, stopping you. "I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that." His dark voice whispered.
"Already?" You smirked at him.
"You underestimate your effect on me, baby." Truly, you were the only person who could melt Jaemin into a puddle if you wanted to.
His hand balancing himself on top of you, as the other held his cock, lining himself onto your entrance.
"Ah.. ah, shit," You moaned, caused by the stretch. A slight tinge of pain but quickly replaced by a wave of intense pleasure as he deeply plunges until you take all of him.
"So.. so fucking tight, oh fuck." Jaemin waited for your signal to keep moving. Which you did, by lifting your hips up to create any sort of movement. He swiftly pull out, just to go in again.
"I love you," Jaemin cried from pleasure, his tempo slowly gaining speed.
"I love you so much," you replied, grabbing his face to look at you as he fucks you with intense affection.
"Y/n, y/n.. I love you." He repeated like a mantra, going in and out repeatedly. You can feel your insides creating a bubble-- soon going to pop. He examines all of your features, "Cum for me." He murmured.
You nodded in response, biting your lip, yet not losing eye contact. A sudden wave of pleasure struck, and before you knew it, you're shaking under him. "I.. I love you."
"I'm cumming, shi..." You locked your legs on his waist, as he stilled so deep, reaching levels of your insides no one has ever reachex before. He cums, deep inside you and you felt his warm, thick ropes of cum paint your insides. His body collapses on top of you, heavy breathing surrounded the apartment.
Honestly, Jaemin didn't care if you hurt him again, Heck, break him again and again. Run away if you can, but he would make sure that he'll be here, always waiting for you. Break his heart for all he cares. You'll only find yourself there.
"Let's go, baby. They can't wait to meet you." Jaemin smiled at you softly, opening the car door before letting you in.
"I really get the feeling that they hate me." You nervously said, as Jaemin went around the car and sat at the driver seat.
"They actually did, back then. But now they're a lot less dumber." You laughed at him.
This was the first time Jaemin will introduce you to his friends. Even tho you knew that they already know you from the past, you wanted to introduce your new self. The self thats much better.
As you arrived at their shared apartment, you can already hear the noise behind the door. You looked at Jaemin with anticipation, as he opened the door.
"There she is! Hi, y/n!" Haechan, which you have encountered before, greeted you with a big smile. He was approaching with wide arms, which Jaemin quickly swats away.
"No." Jaemin simply says as he put his arms around you and dragged you further in the house.
There, you saw Jeno and Renjun playing Jenga. As soon as you sat down, the tower had fallen. Renjun frowning, Jeno with a big smile.
"Oh hi, y/n. Renjun just lost in Jenga, again." The cocky grin was present in Jeno's face.
"That doesn't count! We should play again, this time with y/n!"
You were quiet, but not because you were uncomfortable, but because you were slowly digesting everything. You felt so belonged with these people that its felt a bit weird, in a good way.
You smiled at them, looking back at Jaemin who's walking towards you with a drink in hand. "Thirsty, baby?" His smile was enchanting, and so, so gorgeous.
The time goes on and it all felt natural. It was the first time you saw Jaemin laugh that much, and it made you happier than ever. Then and there, you have concluded that you will never hurt this man again. This time, you'll try to make this work, because you knew he was the only one for you.
And even if the gods and the heaven above curse you for loving selfishly, you wouldn't care. Jaemin is the perfect man for you. And you can't let that smile fade again.
"What're you thinking?" Jaemin whispered, above all the noise from his friends.
"I love you."
And if you thought Jaemin's smile couldn't get any bigger, it did.
"I love you." He answered.
This time, you'll get your happy ending. You choose your happiness and Jaemin. Forever, you will choose Jaemin. Because you realize that after everything, even fiction itself, got nothing on this man.
-end-
A/N: I know it took so long to publish but again, I'm a bit busy! But how was it?? I hope you liked the first installation of my series, diary of the heart breakers! Thank you so much.
taglist: @cutiepeas @legbouk@hyuckissed @bockhyun @hibernatinghamster@shookyungsoo@sundamariis@sharkipoonis@ohmykwonsoonyoung@carelessshootanonymous
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dilemmaontwolegs · 10 months
Text
Not A Verstappen: Gridlocked {1}
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader x Lando Norris Summary: Charles and Lando come to your apartment for the thank you dinner as promised. Warnings: 18+ only, sexual tension, alcohol, touching? WC: 2.4k F1 Masterlist NAV: Sibling Rivalry One || Two || Three NAV: Gridlocked One || Two || Three || Four
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Black smoke billowed out of the pan you thought you had turned off and you rushed to toss it in the sink before opening a window. The breeze was a moment too late to clear the air of the dark tendrils snaking higher and they soon reached the smoke detector, the piercing sound of its alarm filling your kitchen. 
“Shit,” you cursed as you tried to jump and hit the detector to shut it off but you were just too short. “Double shit.”
A knock sounded at your door and you threw it open, grabbing whoevers hand it was and dragging them inside. “Thank god, hit that fucking thing for me will you?” you asked, realising it was Charles who had arrived on time, unsurprisingly.
His nose wrinkled at the heavy stench of smoke and he rose onto his toes to reach up and turn off the alarm. “You look like you have been, um…creative.”
You smiled at the attempt of a compliment before laughing at the situation. In the cold pan on the stove were the chicken breasts that were meant to be frying and you slapped your forehead as you realised you had turned the wrong element on. “Looks like we are going out to dinner, which is probably safer. I don’t think I could have kept my promise not to give you food poisoning by the looks of it.”
“I’m not dressed to go out,” he said as he looked down at his polo and chinos.
“Are you kidding me? You look like a damn model.”
“Thanks. It’s not easy being this handsome,” Lando said as he walked in the front door that was still open, a bottle of wine in his hands. “I see your cooking skills are as good as mine.”
“Har-har,” you drawled as you reached into the cupboards and got three wine stems out. “Liquid dinner it is.”
“Haven’t you sworn off drinking?” Charles asked as he rummaged around your cutlery drawers, finding the corkscrew for Lando.
“Pfft, that was just for summer break to stop the PR team from riding my ass,” you said with a grin. “Plus, you two won’t let me get into trouble. At least not too much.”
The cork popped open and Charles took the bottle from Lando to read the label. “I don’t think we have anything to worry about,” he laughed as he handed the Prosecco back. 
“What?” Lando asked with a frown as he turned it around to see the label. “The lady at the shop said this was good.”
“Sure, for an afternoon at the beach, but it won’t get you drunk.”
You took the bottle from his hands and kissed his cheek to erase the pout on his face. “It is the perfect starter course, and my bar is fully stocked with the hard stuff.”
“No,” Charles sighed as he took the bottle and poured three drinks. “I’m sure there is something salvageable to eat. No drinking on an empty stomach.”
You raised your glass to him. “I wish you luck, my kitchen is cursed.”
He tapped his glass with yours and winked. “I’m a miracle worker, watch me.”
You sat with Lando at the kitchen table as he showed you some photos he had taken throughout the year that hadn’t been posted online, keeping you entertained with stories that would get him in trouble if they ever got out. Every now and then you would check on Charles who familiarised himself with your kitchen, opening and closing all the cupboards and drawers before sighing.
“Admit defeat yet?”
His green eyes narrowed at you from across the room. “Never. I just can’t find any- of nevermind. What is this monstrosity?” He pulled a large jar out of the fridge and grimaced at the sight. 
“Crushed garlic,” you said obviously but he grew even more offended by the jar as he held it at arms length away.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered as he opened the lid and sniffed it. “It will do, I suppose.”
“What are you cooking?” Lando asked as he saw the ingredients lined up on the bench.
“Chicken pesto pasta.” He didn’t even look up as he sliced some limes up, muttering that lemons would have been better. 
“See, this is what I was looking for,” you said to Lando as you rested your chin on your hand watching Charles navigate the kitchen comfortably. “He cooks for me, you did my laundry, you’re both good looking and funny. That’s what I need from a man, I need the love child of Charlando. I give up. It’s impossible. I’m never going to find that.”
“Okay, this definitely isn’t going to be enough,” Lando said as he took the almost empty glass from your hand and rose from the chair. You and Charles both watched him cross over to the wet bar and tap his fingers along his lips as he debated what spirits to choose. “We need to cheer you up, I’m thinking tequila sunrise or strawberry daiquiri?”
“And music,” Charles added as he diced an onion that had been hiding at the back of your refrigerator for who knows how long. “Not mine, because it’s all depressing.”
“So music and drinks…why don’t we just go out?”
Neither looked happy at your suggestion and they both shook their heads. “I’m not in the mood for a lecture from your brother,” Lando admitted.
Lando plugged his phone into your stereo and some soft pop song started to play in the background as Charles said, “And it's too loud to talk in a club. This is nice, no?”
“I guess the company is half decent,” you teased.
Charles chuckled and beckoned you over with a curl of his finger that had a dollop of creamy pesto sauce on the end. “Taste test.”
Your stomach clenched as you parted your lips for him and his eyes held yours, the moment too intimate to dare break. His lips parted with a silent sigh when your tongue rolled over the pad of his finger, and he took a harsh breath as your lips sealed around it and sucked it clean. 
“Hmmm,” you moaned as the flavours coated your tongue and you pulled back, licking your lips as you did. “Oh my god, Charles, that is delicious.”
You couldn’t help noticing how the green of his eyes had been swallowed by his blown pupils or the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed twice before he could muster a response. “Now that I’ve seen your cooking, I’m sure everything else tastes delicious.”
“It’s not that bad,” you said with a laugh as your attention was pulled away and a shot glass was placed into your hand. “I thought we were having cocktails?”
“We will, but,” Lando said as he reached past Charles to grab the salt before he sprinkled a line across his hand. “Tequila first, sunrise later.” He grabbed a wedge of lime next and pinched it between his teeth with a daring curl of his eyebrow. 
The food was forgotten as Charles watched you wrapped your fingers around Lando’s wrist before running your tongue across his skin. The grains of salt coated your tongue as you raised the glass to your lips and tipped the liquor back under their heated stares. You swallowed the liquor and inhaled the fiery burn that followed as you eyed up lime waiting between Lando’s lips. 
This moment balanced on a knife's edge and you could feel how influential it could be on making or breaking the friendship you had with both Lando and Charles. This was the line in the sand that once you crossed there could be no return.
No one dared to breathe. No one dared to move. 
They were waiting for you. 
You licked your lips of the salty spirit residue and stepped closer to him. Your fingers trailed up his neck to tease the short hairs on his nape as you pulled his head down to meet yours and you bit the lime, tearing it from his lips as the sour juice ran down your chin.
“You’re a bad influence,” you teased as you wiped away the excess and stepped back. 
The tension in the air evaporated with his proud grin and Charles chuckled as he turned back to the pan before it burned for a second time.
“I’m just trying to cheer you up,” he replied innocently.
He made his way back to the wet bar with a little dance that had you laughing again. “It’s working.”
The sunset made the perfect backdrop over Monte-Carlo as you stepped out onto the balcony with a plate in each hand and placed them on the small square table. The music drifted out from the french doors after Lando queued enough songs to last the night and joined you and Charles with the extra strong drinks he had made.
“We should do this more often,” you said as a calm settled within you and you watched the yachts dotting the sea beyond the marina.
“What should we toast to?” Lando asked as he placed your glass in front of you, the cocktail matching the orange skyline.
“Single life?” you offered, earning a snort from him as he dropped into the seat beside you, mirroring Charles on the other side.
“How about the hunt?” Charles joked and you groaned at the reminder. “Since we are all looking for love now.”
“Not me,” you surprised them. “I’ve deleted every dating app from my phone and given up. I might even get a cat to keep me company.”
“I thought ‘a girl had needs’?” Lando teased with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.
“Nothing a little self love can’t take care of,” you muttered to your drink as you took a sip, making Charles choke on his. “What? It’s true. You can’t tell me that you don't use your hand out when you need it.”
“We definitely need to do this more often,” Lando chuckled as he spared a fork full of extremely overcooked pasta. 
Charles sent a grin across the table to Lando before their eyes turned to you, a mischievous glint reflecting in both pairs as Charles agreed with a nod. 
“Then let’s cheers to that,” you said as you raised your glass. 
“To the three of us,” Charles winked, clinking your glasses.
“The three of us.”
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The empty plates were neatly stacked and the last rays of light had long disappeared, but you weren’t ready for the night to be over. The air was growing cold and the fading solar lights dotted around the deck were starting to attract bugs, interrupting the peaceful lull in conversation. 
“Do you want to stay and watch a movie? You probably shouldn’t drive anyway.” You hoped your question didn’t sound too eager and tried to cover it up with the logical statement. It was needless though as they both perked up at the offer and started to clear the table.
“I’m up for a movie night,” Lando agreed as he took the glasses, leaving Charles to take the plates. “Another round?”
 “Yes, please. I’ll meet you on the couch.” 
You went to your room and changed out of the jeans and top you were wearing, opting for an oversized white AlphaTauri shirt you often slept in instead, before dragging the quilt off your bed. You switched the lights off around the apartment as you passed them and flopped down onto the couch between the two men who had been quietly chatting. Lando reached for the refilled glasses on the coffee table and handed you yours as you asked, “What are we watching?”
“Nothing sad or Charles will cry,” he said with a little laugh as he helped spread the blanket over everyone.
“And nothing with shooting or Lando will cry,” Charles shot back with his own teasing smirk.
“And nothing with romance or I will cry,” you added as you swiped up the remote and scrolled through the options on Netflix. “Guess that leaves horror. Paranormal Activity?”
You wanted to look away but you couldn’t as the crackling image on the screen only grew darker. You knew what was coming but it still didn’t stop the squeak that escaped your lips or the way your tense body startled at the jump scare.
The guys chuckled as if you hadn’t felt their legs knock yours at the sudden slam of a door and the blanket shifted until you felt a comforting hand on each thigh, resting just below the hem of the shirt. It took everything in you to keep still as their palms warmed your skin and the heat spread to your core and you felt Charles’ thumb start to draw soothing circles.
Under the guise of settling back into your skin after the fright, you laid back into the cushions and stretched your legs out. From the corner of your eye you could see Lando bite his lip as the shift left their hands even higher up your thighs, almost brushing the lace edge of your panties.
“Scared, chérie?” Charles asked, his voice a little deeper than usual.
It wasn’t the horror movie that was causing a fine tremor to work its way over your body, setting every nerve ending alight. And it certainly wasn’t the horror movie that was causing the goosebumps to tingle across your skin. 
It had been a long time since a man came so close to you that your core was turning to molten lava without even being touched and you lost the battle to remain still, your thighs clenching together in search of friction. You could feel a second heartbeat throbbing between the juncture and as the blanket slipped down your body your peaked nipples were easy to spot through the thin material. 
“Not exactly,” you uttered as Lando’s fingers squeezed your thigh, almost as if he were silently begging you to part them for him. 
“You’re shaking,” Lando murmured close to your ear. 
“I know,” you whispered as your throat clogged with the pleas for them to touch you, to slide their hands just another inch higher and sate the need your body craved. 
You felt the touch of Charles’ shaped beard along your jaw before his lips brushed your ear. “Breathe, chérie. We’ll take care of you.”
His thumb drew another circle and your chest expanded with the softest gasp as you felt the pad of his digit run along the seam of your underwear. 
Lando mirrored his friend, his breath hot on your neck where his lips set a trail of scorching fire to your ear. “Will you let us take care of you?”
Click here for part two.
Tagging: @destourtereaux @severerebelearthquake @sunf1ower16 @octaviareina @omgsuperstarg @mvclff1 @alwaysclassyeagle @icantcomeupwithamusicalname-blog @laneyspaulding19 @booknerd2004-blog @mimimarvelingmarvel @chonkybonky @jpg3 @bangtanxberm @secretlyangrymagazine
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sturniolosass · 3 months
Text
Sick - a Matt Sturniolo x Reader
Summery - Nick and Matt are sick with Covid and you offer to come and help take care of them.
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*fluff, like…pure fluff*
It’s Tuesday Night and you get a call from your boyfriend Matt letting you know he tested positive for covid, Your first reaction was to ask if he need anything medicine, soup, water. He had stated that he and the boys were fine without it and that you should stay home and rest but you insisted. So ending the call you decided to head over to him and his brothers home to help take care of all three of them.
Before heading to the house you decided to run to your local grocery store and grab a few things for the soup you’d be making and also a box of tea.
Once you checked out you started making your way to the house.
Once you arrived you knocked on the door urgently and saw Chris, you urgently pulled a mask over your face
“Yo! I’m good, i don’t have Covid…” he said
“ohhh oh my god, i thought all of yall were sick as fuck” you stated with a sigh of relief
“where are Matt and Nick?” you asked with a sense of panic
“they are both locked away in their rooms..i wouldn’t let them contaminate you” he laughed
“I don’t think it would matter hence i put myself in this situation. Wanna help me cook?” you ask Chris hoping he’d say no remembering his cooking history
“uhhhh im not sure you want that..” Chris replied
“you know what! you’re right” you replied rushing over to the stove
You put everything down on the counters before rushing around the corner hall to Matt’s room. Knocking on the door you say “Matt, are you hungry? How’re you feeling?” then listening in for a response you hear counting..
“1..2..3..4..5” Matt counts..
You call again “Matt?!”
Matthew then hurriedly opens the door wearing a mask he then says “what’re you doing here..? you’re gonna get sick! go home!” he rushing griefs to shut the door.. but your foot’s in between the hinges “i wanted to come and take care of you guys i know you guys don’t really know how to do that yourself.., have you even had any medicine..?” you ask worriedly “yea..” Matt looks around suspiciously “well no..but still i don’t want you getting sick, you should go home, coming here was sweet though i really appreciate you thinking of us honestly” he replies expecting you to leave which you do.. but not the house
Time to cook..
You grab all your ingredients and start making the soup. Onion, Celery, Garlic, Carrots, Noodles, etc.. once everything is cooking you decide to throw on a movie within the same time in which Chris decides to come up stairs from the ground floor… “sooo like, I know i’m not sick but that smells oh so yummy” he says in a weird yet entertaining voice “can i please have some too?” he begs. You look at him funny and reply “I mean.. i guess i’m trying to make enough so that there’s at least enough for two days..” he then notices the TV and asks “what is this? saltburn or some shit?” you look at him in disgust “No. it’s The Turning” you say matter of factly. “what is it about” he asks, “i don’t know for real, just some indie horror film” you tell, “oh alright well please let me know first when the food is done” he pleads. “whatever.” you say.
One the food is done you call up the guys one by one to grab a bowl. First Chris cause he asked so kindly, then Nick.. Once Nick comes down he seems fine, Then he starts coughing a lot, causing you to worry and offer him tea. He politely declines claiming to not enjoy tea that much. He then heads back upstairs and Matt comes out of his room after 5 minutes..
“Hey, I really appreciate you coming here and treating me and my brothers so sweet.. i was on the phone with my mom and she really thanks you because she can’t be here to do these things for us” he says lovingly smiling up at you with his cute little red nose from blowing it all day. “no problem, i love you guys a lot. you especially, so i have no problem with probably leaving here sick just to make sure you guys are ok” you reply. Matt them comes behind you whilst you’re stirring the soup on the low heat and gives your back a nice firm hug. “I love you” he says. At first you’re very caught off guard because that’s the first time he’s spoken those three words to you.. but coming to your senses you immediately respond “i love you too, Matt” in to which he smiles in the crook of your neck and kisses it. You turn and hug him back.
“Want some soup or tea?” you ask politely. “Sure, i’ll have some tea” he responds thankfully. “i already had food like a few hours ago. thank you though.” he adds. You pop a Peppermint tea in the keurig and he sits at the table. “i’m glad you’re here, i feel like i’ve been going crazy locked in my room all day.” he speaks. “I was counting my steps as i paced my room earlier because my apple watch felt i was being ‘lazy’ even though i’m quite frankly sick as all hell” he adds.. “hahaha yea i heard that, i was so confused” you reply coming in for a kiss in which he hesitates “i don’t wanna risk your chance of getting more sick” he states in to which you reply “the sickness is airborne, love. if im gonna get sick it’s gonna happen regardless. i’ve already stepped in the house.” leaning in you kiss his lips. The keurig finishes and you mix a little bit of honey in his mug and hand him the cup.
Nearing the end of the night you and Matt head into his room to relax, figuring you’d already be sick Matt invites you to stay the night knowing it shouldn’t get any worse from here unless you go home where your family lives. You both decide to watch a movie, Matt begging you to help him finish saltburn stating he was bored with it in the first 20 minutes. You oblige only to regret it seeing he’s only watched a small portion of the ‘weird’ movie, however you continue watching just to keep him company and watch him fall asleep comfortably in your arms...
The End :)
a/n: idk how i feel about the end of this.. but you know what, its my first and i’ll only get better as i keep going.. :)) THANKS FOR READING!
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ddejavvu · 9 months
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mei! can you write a little hangman trying to corral and take care of his drunk gf?? im a lil tipsy rn and thinking abt it
tw for mentions of getting sick
"Bradshaw," Jake taps his fellow aviator on the shoulder, two beers in hand, "Where's my girlfriend?"
"Phoenix took her to the bathroom," Bradley informs Jake, "She was feeling a little queasy, I think."
"Shit," Jake groans, shoving both beers into Bob's unsuspecting hands. The WSO blinks bewilderedly, but passes the drinks to Fanboy and Payback when they invite him over to the dartboard.
Jake shoulders his way through the crowd, beelining for the women's restroom and slapping a hand over his eyes before pushing the door open.
"I'm not trying to see anything," He calls out, standing in the doorway, "I just want to know if my girlfriend is in here."
He hears a distressed groan from you to his left, and Phoenix calls out, "It's just us, Hangman. You can come in and open your eyes."
He does as instructed, finding you crouched on the floor inside the third stall. Phoenix is behind you, your hair gathered back into her hands as you hover expectantly over the toilet.
"Nothing yet," Phoenix fills your boyfriend in, "I think it's less about the booze and more about the bottomless fries."
"Gotcha," Jake nudges her away to take her place, swooping your hair up again when it falls over your face, "You've been snackin, huh baby?"
"I didn't eat that many," You swear, but Jake knows practically any amount of the bar's greasy french fries can be vomit-inducing, "I want- I need water."
"I got it," Phoenix heads for the door, "Don't let her eat any more, Hangman!"
Jake's confused until you reach for your purse and retract a napkin stuffed with fries.
"Hey- hey! No," He takes them before you can eat any of them, chucking the handful into the toilet to deter you, "Baby, what are you doing? Those made you sick."
"But they're so good," You lament, "Jake, they've got the garlic salt on 'em, and- and I want more!"
"But they're too greasy for you to handle right now," He smooths a hand down your back, "Baby, you can't eat those when you've been drinkin', that's why we're in here. You can have some on Friday night, m'kay? You can be DD."
"I'm not even sick anymore," You grumble, all of a sudden struggling to your feet. Jake backs out of the stall so that you can stand, but your drunk mind seems to envision a velcro patch covering Jake's chest, and you stick your own matching one to it to throw your arms around his neck.
"I want food," You inform Jake, and he leans in to kiss you despite your beer-breath, "I want something big, and- and greasy, and meaty, and-"
"How about pancakes?" Jake offers, ringing his hands around your waist in case you decide you're going to lean your full weight on him, "We can head to Denny's, it'll only be a five minute drive."
"Do they put garlic salt in their pancakes?" You wonder, gazing at Jake like he's a prophet. He's not, but he thinks he knows the answer anyway.
"Uh," He chuckles slightly, glancing at the door when Phoenix returns, a glass of water in her hands, "I don't think so, darlin'. Here, drink that," He pats your back, releasing his hold on you so that you can take the cup from Phoenix, "All of it, honey, then we'll head for Denny's. Okay?"
"Mhm," You nod around the rim of the glass, the sound echoing slightly as you gulp down the water.
"Takin' her for pancakes," Jake locks eyes with Phoenix, "I'm gonna go get her purse, can you supervise?"
"Hurry up," She nods towards the door, "Fanboy's a nosy drunk, I'm pretty sure he already rooted through her stuff and found a tampon."
"Christ almighty," Jake scoffs, storming out while you chug down the rest of the water in your glass. He does, in fact, find Fanboy seated by your purse, inspecting a plastic-wrapped tampon with bewildered eyes.
"It comes out of the plastic, dipshit," Jake demonstrates, popping the applicator off and stuffing it back on after they've gotten a good look, "Phoenix was right, you are nosy. You wanna inspect her lipstick, too?"
"Oh please, we see that all the time." Rooster drawls, yanking at Jake's collar and revealing a deep pink kiss mark against the base of his neck. The pilot grins beneath his mustache, collecting the coins from your wallet that Fanboy had counted to occupy himself and handing them off to Jake, "Just be lucky he didn't go through your wallet, Hangman, he would have found those nudes you keep in there."
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zorrasucia · 3 months
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Teach Me Tonight - Part 7
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Deleted Scene] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] Part 7: [Deleted Scene] [Part 8]
Reader x Carmy Berzatto (The Bear FX)
Rating: Explicit (3k)
Tags: Smut, Set sometime after the opening of The Bear, Porn with a little plot, Virgin!Carmy, Fluff, Miscommunication, Angry Sex, Nightmares, Domesticity, Morning Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Both Carmy and Reader have a bit of a praise kink
Summary:
Glimpses of every day life and sharing an apartment with Carmy.
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"I'm sorry, okay? I am! I won't use your ingredients without asking- just- please calm the fuck down!"
Your small argument from closing time had escalated on the way home to the point where you were screaming at each other by the time you slammed the apartment door behind you and followed Carmy to the bedroom. You had fought before, of course you had. But this was probably the worst one so far.
Carmy stood on the opposite corner of the room, hands on his hips, breathing heavily.
"Do you know how fucking expensive imported black garlic is?"
"I don't, but I have the feeling you're going to tell me," you spat, petty, the whole sentence leaving a bitter taste inside your mouth. You backtracked."I'm sorry. I'll pay for it, okay?" you tried to appease him even as your blood was boiling. "Listen, when I moved in, I was ready to make some compromises. I downsized my closet, I sold some furniture-"
"I didn't ask you to do any of that," Carmy interrupted you.
"Carm," you gave him a stern look. "I'm only saying that you could be more understanding about shit like this. We share the fridge and the pantry. I'm sorry I assumed I could use the stuff inside without asking, it will not happen again," you repeated, then inhaled deeply. "Just- I can't help feeling this isn't about that."
Carmy looked red in the face, angry like you had only seen him inside the kitchen, pacing and flexing his fingers. You couldn't believe he was actually losing his shit so severely over a steak and some garlic - even if it was a super expensive steak and black garlic.
He looked at the ceiling. "It is about you touching my shit without asking. It is about you leaving your things on the kitchen table when I need it to work-" he clenched his jaw. "I'm sick and tired of not knowing where anything is in my own fucking apartment!"
You had organized the closet to fit your stuff, and  put Carmy's vintage denim and your bigger dresses in storage. You still had to get a desk for your sewing machine and work stuff, in the meantime it had stayed on the kitchen table, which, in your defense, had remained unused for most of your stay.
"Why didn't you say anything?" you asked in exasperation. "I've been living here for three weeks! You could have said something instead of bottling it up until it was-" you gestured vaguely in his direction, "whatever this is!"
"I like you being here, I didn't want to scare you off!" Carmy groaned.
"Carm, did you think I would leave if we didn't agree on where the shirts are supposed to go?"
He shrugged. "Dunno. Dunno!"
"You can tell me things, Carm!" you crossed the room until he was close enough to touch. His eyes looked like the sky before a storm. "You can tell me anything."
"Then why are you so fucking mad?" he said defiantly.
"Because I don't like when you yell at me like I'm just another chef in your fucking kitchen," you said, it was something you had been keeping quiet since your fight started. "I'm not getting paid to put up with this shit."
It struck Carmy completely quiet. And you regretted it the moment it left your lips. You had almost found some middle ground and you had trampled all over it. He took a step closer and stared at you, his eyes dark and angry, the space between you felt charged.
Before you knew what was going on, he grabbed you by the back of the neck and kissed you roughly, biting on your lips, mouth wide open. You pressed on his chest with your hands - you were still too mad at him. But his hands were strong and his tongue was relentless and you could feel yourself getting wet from the mixture of anger and lust - and who knew those two emotions were so close to each other?
"Fuck, I can stop," he said, barely separating his lips from yours, breathing hard. "You want that?"
You pulled on his shirt, bringing him towards you, kissing him back with just as much fervor. Then, using that same grasp, you moved him to the edge of the bed and pushed him hard, his curls bouncing as he fell on his back.
"I want you to fucking apologize, Carmen," you climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. You leaned over and trapped his wrists with your hands, above his head. Even putting all your strength into it, he could wiggle himself free at any moment, but he didn't; he stayed down and looked at you hungrily.
"I'm sorry," he said, a little too cocky for your taste, a smirk barely hidden on the side of his face.
You ground your hips against his, feeling his cock harden underneath you. He rolled his eyes and arched his neck. He looked beautiful, like a marble statue.
"What was that?" you asked, stopping your movement abruptly and getting close to his face.
He whined. "I'm sorry," and it sounded more truthful this time.
"Mhmm, that's more like it."
You kept holding both of Carmy's wrists with one hand, while the other moved downward, going underneath his shirt and playing with his nipple, massaging and pinching gently until he closed his eyes and hummed in bliss. Then you stopped.
"Fuck you," he said, letting out some leftover venom from your fight. 
You smirked - why was this so hot?
You got your answer immediately after, when Carmy got free and turned you over, fast and aggressive, like he rarely was in the bedroom. He caged you with his arms and legs, all taut muscle and shaking breaths.
"What about you?" he said, his voice low.
"What about me?" you tilted your head. "I apologized like ten times, Carm. And I meant it."
"You said some fucked up things just now," his breath tickled your face as he studied you from every angle, like he was a wild animal and you were his prey.
"I did," you admitted. You arched your neck, trying to get close and... What? Kiss him? Bite him? You weren't sure. He put one hand on your throat, not quite a caress, closing his tattooed fingers around it. You squeezed your thighs together, blood flowing with need. "I meant some of that too."
"Which part?"
"That I don't like when you yell at me," you said honestly, the moment a little cheapened with how horny you sounded.
"That all?" Carmy's voice had turned hoarse from screaming and you wished you didn't find it so attractive.
"Yeah," you exhaled.
"Good," he said dryly and got up, freeing you, but you remained immobile.
Suddenly, he yanked hard on your jeans and underwear, leaving you bare in seconds.
"Fuck, Carmy."
You hated how needy you sounded, how wrecked you felt as he licked his hand and finally put his fingers inside you, how good he was at making you crumble... You let out a pleading and pathetic sound as he touched your clit roughly and finger fucked you a little too hard.
Then, he took his fingers out without a warning, leaving you empty and out of breath; his hands ghosted the insides of your thighs. You grabbed at his wrist, begging to be touched again. Carmy climbed on the bed instead, hovering above you, kissing you ferociously.
"Eager?" he teased when you started raising your hips to rub on his jeans.
"Impatient," you replied, trying to wind him up.
It worked - his eyes darkened again.
"Hands above your head," he ordered and you obeyed. He took your shirt off carelessly, your bra was almost spilling out with how forceful he was being but he didn't bother taking it off. The whole thing was angry, urgent, and so fucking hot. Carmy was undoing his belt and you used the pause to scoot backwards, just enough to reach your bedside table.
"Hurry the fuck up!" You threw a condom at him, hitting him square on the face.
Carmy gave you a look that was half exasperation, half amused lust. He unbuttoned his jeans just enough to take his cock out, then threw the empty wrapper back at you. He grabbed your legs and dragged you closer, forcefully, the duvet wrinkling underneath you.
"I swear I'm gonna-"
You didn't let him finish. You fisted the collar of his t-shirt and brought him down to kiss, biting on his lower lip, then soothing with your tongue. You opened your legs wide and tugged at the belt loops of his jeans - there was something arousing about him being almost completely clothed and you being almost naked.
"Fuck me, please, fuck me," you begged into his mouth, way past any sense of pride you had at the beginning of the fight. Carmy wasn't any better, rushing to obey the moment you said it.
"Fucking need it," he groaned as he entered you. It wasn't clear if he was talking about you or him - not that you had time to think about it before he started pounding into you. You felt every inch of Carmy's cock as it went in and out.
"So fucking good," you rasped to the side of his face. It spurred him on and made him go faster and harder - your moans got louder and louder. He covered your mouth with his hand.
"The fucking mouth on you," he mumbled low. You clenched your pussy in retaliation and watched as he rolled his eyes and lost his rhythm. "Holy shit, you're gonna kill me."
You ran your hands under his shirt, tracing the contour of his muscles, feeling them quiver and strain as Carmy tried his damnedest to keep going, one hand on the mattress and the other keeping you quiet. Part of you smiled in satisfaction knowing he was getting tired and wouldn't last.
"Shit. Fuck me," he whined and stopped for a moment, sweating and panting. He finally uncovered your mouth, conceding defeat.
"Want me to take over?" you asked with a chuckle.
Carmy sighed and fell on the mattress beside you. "Still mad at you," he said, the sound pitiful with how hard he was breathing.
"Good to know," you climbed on top of him, straddling, lowering yourself on his cock, making him arch his back with pleasure. "I'm still mad too."
You rode him mercilessly, your hips slamming against his, hands on his chest, his eyes marveling at the bounce of your breasts. You took him right to the edge and left him hanging, the veins of his neck bulging as he groaned in frustration.
You clicked your tongue, swaying gently. "Not coming until I do."
"Yeah?" he arched his eyebrows, taking the challenge for what it was.
His hand moved from gripping your hip to where your bodies connected, his thumb finding your clit and caressing it. Your legs shook involuntarily, a spark going through you.
He grinned.
"Oh, fuck you," you sighed, your neck arched, looking at the ceiling while you bounced on his cock. He knew just what he was doing - making you tremble and moan with every gentle touch.
"Come on," he urged you, meeting your thrusts, fucking into you, hitting your G spot almost by mistake.
"Fuck," you gasped, biting your lip to stop from screaming.
You rode him much faster, something desperate and feral taking over you. Carmy's eyes widened when your walls started fluttering around his cock.
"Are you-? Can I-?" he asked in a choked out voice.
"Yes, yes," you managed to say, squeezing the wrist of the hand that was touching your clit so deliciously as your orgasm started taking over every one of your senses. "Yes, Carmy."
He tensed underneath you, flushed all over, eyes closed, and his lips forming a beautiful 'O'. You stared, waiting patiently for him to open his eyes.
He looked up at you, soft, grateful, a smile curling his lips.
"C'mere," he beckoned you downwards, meeting you with relieved kisses, breathy laughter filling the space between you. He caressed your back, tugging on your bra straps until you were somewhat covered again. The tenderness of the gesture warmed you all over.
"You okay?" Carmy asked and you nodded, nuzzling your nose against his in the process. A pause. "Hey. I am sorry. I was angry and-"
"I know," you fixed his hair, all sweaty and sticking on his forehead. "I'm sorry too."
He kissed your shoulder lovingly.
"I like you being here," he said. "I just- I need time to figure it out. That okay?"
"Yeah," you traced the line of his nose with your finger. "We'll figure it out together, baby."
You kissed him sweetly and he rolled you over to your side.
"I'll go to the thrift store tomorrow," you said, cupping his face. "Buy a desk and shit."
Carmy smiled. "I'll fix the pantry. Put labels on my shit. Make room for your things."
"I think that's the most romantic thing you've said to me," you joked, giggling when he tickled your sides.
"Shut the fuck up!"
He laughed with you, leaving kisses on your face and throat.
~
You woke up to the sound of Carmy talking in his sleep. Most of it was gibberish, quiet mumbles as he thrashed on the bed, the one word you could make out was 'Mikey' - over and over. He winced and let out a pained sound. You got closer and held him, your arm across his chest.
You knew he had nightmares, you'd been there for a couple of them, but sleeping every night with him meant you saw much more of it. It broke your heart how many you had missed, how bad he hurt...
"It's okay, Carmy," you soothed softly. "I'm here, baby, it's okay."
He woke up with a startle, breathing fast.
"Fuck, sorry," he sat up and ran his hands over his face. "Bad dream."
"I know," you waited for him to settle, giving him space.
After a while, he laid back next to you. You moved slowly, gently, touching the side of his face and caressing his hair, calming him down.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Uh," Carmy looked up at the ceiling, blinking hard, "there was a fire. Just so much smoke," he cleared his throat. "And, uh, Mike was there." There was a long pause. "Did I ever tell you he planned to set the restaurant on fire?"
"What?" you froze.
He hummed. "To cash the insurance money, you know," he reached for your free hand, intertwining your fingers and bringing them close to his chest; his heart was pounding.
"I'm sorry, Carm," you waited for him to say something but he stayed silent, vacant. "It feels so weird that I never met him."
"Probably for the better, to be honest," he said dryly. There was something dark about the way he said it.
"Hey," you squeezed his hand, trying to ground him. "What'd you like about him?"
"About Mike?" he said looking at you. "Uh- He was warm. He told the best stories, took care of Nat and me, gave the best hugs... A real big brother, you know?"
You nodded.
"Started getting tattoos because of him," he said, flexing his hands to show the ink on them. "He was so cool, and I wanted to be that."
"I think you're pretty cool," you said sweetly, kissing his knuckles.
"Thanks," he said through a sad smile. "Richie says he was all wrong by the end of it..."
"Wrong how?"
"He wasn't warm anymore, he was, uh, like a fryer fire, I guess. His stories didn't make sense. Kept forgetting shit. A mess, you know?"
"Maybe that's why he pushed you away," you said softly. You knew Carmy felt guilty for his time in New York. "He wanted you to remember him like he was before."
"Maybe," he conceded, looking up at the ceiling.
You stayed like that for a while, caressing his arm, tracing lines on his skin.
"Would you-" he said, then stopped.
You turned to face him. "Yes?"
"Would you hold me?" Carmy asked, his blue eyes open and vulnerable.
"Of course," you smiled and shifted on the bed to spoon him, his back to your chest, your arms around him, leaving gentle kisses on his shoulder blade. You could feel his heartbeat settle as he went back to sleep.
"Love you, Carm," you said right before you drifted off.
~
You woke up to the feeling of Carmy kissing your face softly. You hummed, content. When you opened your eyes, the bright light of late morning was all over your bedroom.
"Didn't hear you coming in last night," you said, your voice raspy with sleep.
"Got in late. Bad day," he raised his hand to touch your hair, staring at the way it caught the light. "Nat forced me to take today off."
"That bad?" you asked, a little concerned.
Carmy moved his fingers to the worry lines on your face, soothing.
"Not really. Someone talked about work life balance in her last Al-family meeting and she's all about that shit right now," he smiled. You loved to see how he looked soft with sleep, relaxed for a little while.
"Have I told you I really like her?"
"You might have," he said playfully, then leaned over to kiss you. It was a gentle thing, his lips lazy on yours and his body flushed as he hugged you.
You took his shirt off, not out of lust, just wanting to get more warmth from his skin on yours. You slowly started kissing his tattoos. You liked the ones on his arms and hands; they were familiar, whenever you thought of Carmy it was the image you conjured. But you loved his other tattoos, the ones nobody else saw, the secrets he kept and only shared with you. You left kisses on his shoulder and his chest, running your fingers on the ink on his ribs and right above his hip bone.
"I've missed you, Carm," you confessed.
It had been a hectic couple of weeks. You had barely seen each other, mostly just sleeping on the same bed, saying good night and good morning before each of you left for work.
"Missed you too," he replied.
His hands roamed your body, tugging gently at the fabric of your sleep shirt, helping you out of it, all while kissing you. You melted in his arms, pliant as he rolled you over and started leaving pecks on your skin.
"Carmy," you sighed. His lips left imprints on your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, and your chest. He stayed there, kissing the top of your breasts, the side, the valley between them, and your nipples. Your pulse was racing and you wondered whether he could feel it with his mouth.
"You're so soft," he said, his exhale giving you goosebumps. "Smell so nice."
"You smell nice too, baby," you giggled. Carmy's hair still had a lavender-like scent from his night shower.
"Mmm..."
He kept kissing. Your belly, your hip, the wrinkle that formed between your mound and your thigh. There was something so like devotion in the way that he moved; it wasn't about filling some selfish need to get his dick wet, he wanted you to feel loved.
"C’mere," you called him back up, to kiss his lips fervently, your hands buried in his hair. When you parted, he smiled, his eyes were still sleepy. He looked so comfortable, so soft...
Your hand traced again that tattoo on his hip, then moved downward, to the hair on his navel, and lower, touching him over his boxers. He was half hard, his nose buried in your neck. When he groaned, his chest rumbled against yours.
"So nice," he said. "’m too fucking tired to fuck you like you deserve, though."
Your free hand caressed the back of Carmy's neck, holding him closer.
"Just want you to relax, make you feel good," you whispered, moving the hand on his cock back and forth, slow, loving.
He moaned, then shifted a little on the bed. You didn't realize why he was moving until his hand snaked its way inside your shorts.
"Oh," you squirmed a little at the feeling of his fingers.
"Too cold?" Carmy asked.
"No, it's okay," you leaned to kiss him. "It's okay," you repeated.
You kept on touching and kissing, everything in that sort of clumsy haze, one of your legs over his. You needed this: being with him without the rush of being late, no urgency, no fucking as fast as you could before Carmy had to run to the restaurant. You had all the time in the world - you could count the freckles on his face and stare at the blue in his eyes as he mumbled sweet nothings into the morning air.
His free hand touched your wrist, guiding it to the head of his cock, the sluggish rhythm you had set just enough to make him roll his eyes and kiss you hard, drowning a whine against your lips as he released.
"Love you so much," Carmy mumbled.
You kissed the side of his face. "I love you, I love you," your voice came out choked and high.
Without you noticing, the constant massaging between your folds had built up too. You came with a long exhale, closing your eyes for a moment, lightly squeezing his side.
"Wanna stay here forever," he said after a while of just looking at you and caressing your back.
"Just sleeping and fucking all day," you replied tiredly.
"I'd like that."
~
[Deleted Scene]
[Part 8]
~
@th3h0nkz @faephoria @wadupppp
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lixzey · 16 days
Note
Bf!Luke Castellan x Filipina child of Aphrodite!reader please? I haven't seen any of Filipina readers so I'm begging on my knees 🥺
In which she misses home terribly and decides to cook some of her fave food (preferably sinigang, adobo, or like something else! you can do some research, if you'd like 🫶🏻)
And she makes Luke try it! But he's so whiny bcs he hasn't even heard of the dish's name.
Anywaaay, I loved lovelorn!!! Waiting for the next update like 👀 Your writing is just so 🤌🏻 chef's kiss!!
late night cravings
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summary: you miss home terribly, so you decide to cook your favorite ulam
warnings: filipina!reader x luke castellan! they're both 19 (set before tlt), they're like on vacation (luke and reader have an apartment in the east village, courtesy of reader’s dad who’s a filipino actor) away from camp duties for a while, swearing (both filipino and english), luke is a picky ass eater, making out, kinda suggestive content
a/n: i got so excited with this 😭 i'm a filipina and an aphrodite kid, so this was so fun to write! I hope you like it!
“What on earth are you cooking?” Luke asks, leaning against the kitchen door frame of the apartment the two of you own. “I woke up to the smell of that.” 
You immediately whip your head around to see your boyfriend, half naked and disheveled from sleep. “Well, hello to you too, sunshine,” You chuckle, blowing strands of your hair away from your face. 
“It's the middle of the night, princess, and you're cooking something that smells like vomit.” Luke grumbles as he makes his way towards you, still bleary eyed as he wraps his arms around your waist. 
“I just missed home,” You giggle, reaching to grab the tongs to flip over the daing na bangus so it doesn’t burn. “Something wrong, baby?”
“Yeah, it smells like shit.” Luke complains, burying his face in your neck. “It’s stinking up the whole place.”
“Don’t judge a book by its cover,” You chuckle, placing the tongs down on a plate, escaping Luke’s grasp and making your way to the kitchen island, leaning against it. “It’s good, I promise.”
Luke stares at the pan. “I am not eating that thing.” He then turns to you, his nose wrinkled in disgust. “Where’s the mac and cheese?”
“It’s just milkfish, dummy.” You roll your eyes at your boyfriend’s refusal to eat anything other than mac and cheese. “Also, you finished the last box of mac hours ago, remember?”
“Ramen?” Luke asks, hopeful that there’s still some left other than the fish that’s stinking up the whole apartment.
When you shook your head, literal fear crept onto his handsome face. “Anything else?” He asks, his voice cracking like a teenaged boy going through puberty for the first time, making you burst into a fit of giggles.
“There’s nothing left, you’ve finished everything.” You say through fits of laughter at your boyfriend’s food crisis. “Guess you’ll have to deal with the food I’m gonna cook.”
Luke’s eyes comically widen, like one of those cartoon characters you’ve watched when you were a kid. “There’s more?”
“Yeah,” You nod, jerking your head to the refrigerator littered with lots of printed photos of the dates you and Luke went on over the years you’ve been together. “I marinated some pork for adobo.”
“Ado-what?”
“Adobo, it’s a Filipino staple.” You answer with a chuckle. “It’s pork marinated in vinegar, soy sauce, and some garlic. I added some peppercorns too. My lola used to cook it for me when I was a kid.”
Luke makes his way to you, his large hands creeping onto your waist, lifting you up onto the counter. “As much as you love it, princess, I’m not eating any of it.”
“And why not?” You scoff, raising a brow at him.
“I don’t like it, that’s why.” Luke insists, kissing your forehead. “I’m gonna go and get some real food.”
You sigh, annoyed by your boyfriend’s pickiness in food. For as long as you’ve known him, he’s been choosing what he eats like a child. It was always mac and cheese, chicken, pizza, and burgers. It was a struggle to feed him, honestly. Since he won’t eat anything apart from what he’s used to. Luke was lucky that the dryads serve mac almost with every meal—which is mostly for the kids or a side dish. You’ve tried to incorporate vegetables in his meals but somehow he always notices. It was infuriating, to the point that you just wanted to shove a broccoli floret down his throat.
All of a sudden, the smell of burning infiltrates your sense of smell, triggering the fire alarms simultaneously.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” You frantically mutter, jumping off the kitchen island and running to the burning bangus on the stove. You grab the pan, forgetting it was on the fire for minutes on end. “Putangina!” You swear, abruptly pulling your hand off the pan’s handle.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, here,” Luke grabs the pan with oven mitts, placing it on the counter.
You sigh as you stare at the burnt fish, hearing the pan hiss against the cold surface.
Luke, being the best boyfriend that he is, pulls you in a tight hug, his body heat engulfing you. “It’s okay, princess. It was an accident.”
“I’ve been craving that,” You mumble against his chest. “Stupid fire.”
“You still have the first one you cooked,” Luke points out. “That’s gotta count for something, right?”
You raise your head, meeting his eyes. “Yeah, I guess.” you mumble, lower lip out in a pout.
“Don’t be sad over a burnt fish, alright?”
You glare at him, pinching his side. “It was a tasty fish.”
“Geez, princess,” Luke scowls playfully. “A fish is more important than me?”
“Shut up,” You hiss, rolling your eyes. “I paid five bucks for that.”
Luke raises a brow at you. “When did you even get time to get them?”
“You sleep like a lamb, baby,” You chuckle, turning to walk to the refrigerator. “I went to a Filipino store.”
“There’s one in New York?” Luke asks, brows furrowed in confusion. “I thought you said there weren’t any?”
“That was years ago, dummy.” You snort, grabbing the refrigerator handle, opening it. “Anyway, look what I got.”
An array of Filipino snacks filled the middle shelf of the fridge. You had gone all out. It wasn’t often that you splurge on food, but when a craving hits, it hits.
There were some Choco Mallows—chocolate covered marshmallows—your favorite treat as a child that your lola always bought for you. A jar of ube macapuno that you hated as a child but learned to love just recently. Some dried mangoes, pastillas, a jar of wafer sticks—stik o—a slice of brazo de mercedes, and many more.
“How the hell are you even gonna finish all of that?”
You shake your head, smirking. “You and I are gonna eat each and every item that I bought.”
Luke scowls, folding his toned arms over his chest. “I don’t want to.”
“Don’t give me that shit, Castellan,” You say, placing your hands on your hips. “You are going to eat whatever I serve you.”
Luke pouts, pairing it off with puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
“Nope.”
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“That smells like vomit,” Luke complains as you seared the marinated pork for adobo. “And it looks like it too!”
“Quit it,” You say with a murderous glare. “Don’t yap at it until you’ve tasted it.”
“I think I’m going to puke all my guts out,” Luke gags, making his way to the sink.
“For the love of the gods,” You groan, fighting the urge to roll your eyes at his childishness. It was just food, and he’s whining about it like there’s no tomorrow.
You turn your attention away from your picky eater of a boyfriend and back to the pan with the pork searing brown nicely. You then grab the remaining liquid from the marinade—which was not much, which it would have to do—pouring it in, causing the pan to hiss at the difference in temperature. You turn the stove down to medium high heat, before leaving it to simmer.
Much to Luke’s misery.
“You aren’t covering it?” Luke asks incredulously. “It’s smelling the place worse than the fish did!”
“Don’t be such a drama queen, Luke.” You sigh, grabbing a pouch of dried mangoes before taking a seat on one of the bar stools over the kitchen island. “It’s gonna taste good, I promise.”
“Ugh,” Luke wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Gag me.”
“Nah, you’d like it too much.” You giggle, popping a slice of dried mango in your mouth.
Luke scoffs playfully. “Damn right I will, princess.”
“Then stop whining,”
“You love me,” Luke grins as he walks towards you, capturing your lips in his, his hand cupping your face.
You hum as your lips mold with his, your shoulders relaxing as he kisses you.
You pull away from the kiss, pushing him slightly. “You’re distracting me, Castellan,” you sigh dreamily, a soft blush covering your cheeks as your boyfriend looks at you like you’re the only thing in this world.
Luke leans in, his lips brushing against your lips as he trails towards your ear. “Is it working?” he whispers, his breath hot on your skin.
“Luke,” You murmur, placing your hand on his chest. “Stop, I don’t want to burn the adobo.”
Luke chuckles, his fingers tangling with the ends of your hair. “Alright, but later?”
You roll your eyes playfully. “If you promise to taste the adobo and bangus,” You smirk at him, pushing him slightly away from your body as you stand up. “Maybe I’ll let it happen, you know? On this counter.”
“Do I really have to?”
“If you want to bend me over this counter, yes.”
Luke sighs as he reluctantly nods. “Fine, I’ll taste them.”
“That’s a good boy,” You coo, reaching up to pat his cheek. “Go and sit,” you jerk your head towards the bar stool you just stood up from. “It’ll be ready in a few.”
Luke obliges, sitting on the stool with his arms crossed over the other. He grins at you, a mischievous look you know oh so well in his beautiful browns. 
Luke was teasing you, the little shit.
You chuckle, shaking your head, before turning to make your way to the stove, swaying your hips as you did—earning a small grunt from Luke behind you.
As you check up on the adobo, you see that almost half of the liquids have evaporated, leaving you with a slightly oily adobo—just the way you liked it. You turned down the heat, grabbing a fork from the silverware drawer to check if the pork was tender.
You poke the fork through the meat effortlessly, making you smile. The perfect adobo.
You quickly grab a plate and load it up with the delicious ulam you’ve grown up with, hoping Luke would appreciate it as much as you did.
“Here it is,” You excitedly announce, serving the adobo with a spoon and fork in front of him with a proud smile etched on your lips. “It’s better with rice, but it’s good on its own too.”
Luke stares at the meat in front of him, as if the adobo was going to attack him if he wasn’t vigilant enough. “Is it supposed to look like that?”
You raise a brow at him. “Like what?”
“Like it’s burnt,”
You sigh, taking a seat beside him. “It’s supposed to look like that, but it isn’t burnt. It’s because of the searing, plus the soy sauce the pork has already absorbed.” You grab the utensils, shoveling a healthy amount of meat and sauce on the spoon using the fork. “Open wide, baby!”
Luke shook his head. “I think I’m okay.”
“Luke,” You growl, raising the adobo filled spoon up to his mouth. “Open your fucking mouth before I shove this spoon down your throat forcibly.”
Luke raises his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright, geez,” he chuckles, opening his mouth up. “Be gentle with me, princess.”
You glare at him before pushing the spoon inside of his mouth. “If you spit that out, you’re sleeping on the damn floor.”
Luke chews the contents of his mouth, his eyes widening. “Fuck, this is good!” He grins as he pulls the plate in front of him and immediately takes another spoonful. “Mhmm, that hits the spot!” Luke says through a mouth full of the savory pork dish you cooked. 
“Good, baby?” You giggle, reaching to grab the fork from him to get a bite of your masterpiece. “Don’t finish it all, save some for me!”
“Losers, weepeers, baby,” Luke mumbles through bites. “You sure you didn’t use any love magic on this?”
You recoil, slapping his arm playfully. “I did not use gayuma, Castellan.” 
“Gayuma?”
“It’s love magic, in Filipino,” You answer, taking another bite of your food. “I have got to teach you more Filipino words.” 
“I’m in love with this—what is it called again?”
“Adobo,” You laugh, taking a bite of the said ulam. “Pork adobo.”
“Pork adobo, I love you!” Luke grins, like it’s the first time he’s ever tried food in eons.
You smile lovingly at your boy, looking all so happy and content. You could spend eternities just staring at him. Seeing Luke happy made you feel complete, like you’ve fulfilled a quest greater than anything the gods could dish out.
You could see a future with the man in front of you. You’ve honestly got nothing figured out, but Luke? He was the only thing you’ve got right in your life. You could see him, being the man you’d marry and spend the rest of your life with. You could see him being the father of your children, a little Luke and a little version of you, running around the front yard while you and Luke watch on the front porch with a multitude of toys sprawled around.
You fell in love with a careless god’s careful son, and he is the best thing that’s ever been yours.
“Princess,” You hear Luke call out to you, snapping you out of your daydreams. You look up, meeting his loving gaze, making your cheeks burn. Gods, it’s not fair of him to make me feel this much. 
“Yeah?” You hum, moving your chair closer to him, smiling as you did. “What is it?”
Luke cups your face in his large hands, pulling you in close, barely an inch apart. “I love you.” 
Your heart beats rapidly inside your rib cage, wondering how on earth does he manage to still make you feel like that giddy teenager who fell in love with him years ago. 
You stare in his eyes for what felt like eons. You could feel Luke’s breath hot on your lips, begging you to seal it inside of him with a kiss.
You let out a shaky breath, a small smile curling onto your lips. “I love you too, baby.” you whisper, before closing in the distance between the two of you.
Luke’s hands make their way down to your waist, pulling you onto his lap, making you gasp. He takes advantage of your lips parting, sliding his tongue in, eager to taste you—even though he’s done it more times than he could count.
His lips were soft, like a cloud grazing yours. He tasted sweet, like cotton candy, but with a hint of smoke and citrus playing at your taste buds. You should have been used to it by now, being in a relationship with Luke for almost three years and all. But his touch numbs you. His touch is like being dipped into the cold ocean, pulling you in—drowning you, until he’s bruised into your mind. 
Your hands creep around the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss—if it was even possible given the state of your tongues clashing with one another, fighting to assert dominance. You bite Luke’s lower lip, causing a groan to escape his mouth. You feel this familiar heat pool inside your belly, along with something hard poking your ass.
You pull away from the kiss, lips swollen as you catch your breath. Before you could utter a word, Luke lifts you up on the counter, making you erupt in a fit of giggles. He then presses his forehead against yours, you could hear his slow breaths as your noses bump into each other. 
“So, you lettin’ it happen, huh, princess?”
“You didn’t try the other one,” You feign annoyance, unable to hide the small smile tugging at your lips.
“Can’t make an exception for me, princess?” Luke smirks, his fingers delicately brushing against your arms.
“I think I can squeeze you in,” You chuckle, pulling away from him with a teasing grin. “You good with that, mister?”
“I’ll take anything as long as it’s with you.” Luke grabs your waist, pulling you back close to him. “Gods, you are so beautiful.” he whispers, his hand cupping your face.
“I love you,” You murmur, placing your hand on his chest, on the place where his heart rests. “More than anything.”
“You are the best thing in my life.” Luke sighs before leaning in to kiss you again like his life depended on it, wrapping his arms around you like a vice. You run your fingers through his hair, pulling and tugging on his curls as if he was your lifeline.
Luke’s hands fumble with the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head, momentarily breaking the kiss. He quickly reaches behind, unclasping your bra in one swift movement, tearing the offending fabric off of your breasts.
Luke takes his time to admire your body, as if it was the very first time he’d even seen your breasts out on full display for him, just for him. His cock strained painfully inside of his shorts and boxers, causing a groan to escape his throat. “You see what you do to me, princess?”
You look at him with innocence in your eyes, which at the same time looks sultry and inviting, driving him crazy every time you do. “Who, me?”
“Aren’t you just a little vixen?”
“So, to the room?”
Luke shakes his head, moving towards you, his hands just below your breasts as he smirks. “Here, over the fucking counter.”
tags: @lilmaymayy @ma1dita @sc4rl3ttdafoxx @hottiewifeyyyy
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gay-dorito-dust · 22 days
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could you do asexual reader x Jason Todd headcanons?
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I know this hdc won��t resonate for most in the ace community, cuz it’s a spectrum, but I hopes it at least resonates with some, even if it’s one person. That’s more enough for me. (Also sorry for the shit writing as usual)
Jason doesn’t mind that you’re asexual. You were still you at the end of the day, so he doesn’t understand why some people tend to make a big deal out of it.
It’s not like you being asexual was hurting anyone but he guessed that some people just harbour vast amounts of hate for things they don’t/refuse to understand bc they’ve been conditioned into thinking that it’s a bad thing.
Others are just cunts that Jason gladly beats the piss out of in your honour. (Acephobes plz die disrespectfully thanks)
He will not tolerate any sort of disrespect towards you and needless to say having a six foot something man who’s built like an absolute tank is enough to silence those types of people rather quickly.
He’s more then willing to do this for anyone that you knew who was ace, aro, or was in the LGBTQIA community in general, that he becomes a someone that a lot of them could come to when in need of help, or was just in need of a safe space.
He’s unbothered by it because as long as he’s helping someone in need, he’s more than willing to offer his shoulder for them to cry on.
(I just like the idea of Jason being a protector of LGBTQIA youths.)
After all he once took joy in beating the absolute piss out of a biphobe for Tim. Sure he may not have a great relationship with his siblings, but he’s not one to ignore when they’re being treated like shit for being who they were.
He respects your boundaries and will always ask whether or not it was okay for him to kiss you, to which you’d always have to tell him that it was more then okay for him to kiss you.
He understands that asexuality was a spectrum and would ask which part of the spectrum you were apart of, and acts in accordance to make sure that you’re more than comfortable in your relationship.
He’s always finding ways to constantly learn about asexuality and more. He’s even got a whole bookshelf dedicated to LGBTQIA history because he wants to better himself and do right by you and other people who look up to him to protect them. He takes that shit seriously.
He just loves you very much and wants you to feel as though you could tell him anything that’s bothering you and he’ll gladly bring you its head if you’d like just to prove it.
If you are okay with kisses and the like, be prepared to be swarmed by it at every possible opportunity with this teddy bear, for he will smother your face in kisses as he holds you against him, smiling upon hearing you laugh and poor attempts in pushing him away. It’s a highlight of his day because when you’re happy, he’s happy.
You don’t like sex? That’s okay! He’ll make you have Junk food dates with him where you stuff your faces either pizza with stuffed crust (you can eat it in reverse) and garlic bread and watch shitty movies as you cuddle on the couch.
You: you don’t think I’m broken?
Jason; no. Why, who’s told you that you were broken because it’s a bunch of bullshit. You’re the most important person in my life and I’d do just about anything for you, no matter how big or small it may seem because at the end of the day I want to see you happy. So listen to me sweetheart and listen good, you are not broken. You are perfection incarnate in my eyes, you are everything I could’ve hoped to have by my side for you’ve never judged me, so I don’t see why I should judge you for being your truest self. Thats a bit hypocritical don’t you think?
Jason: So don’t ever think you’re broken when you’re far from it, you are whole and you are more than enough. I don’t care if we have sex on occasion or not at all, your happiness is all I care about. I want you to be happy for the rest of our lives together because now I’ve got you I’m not letting you go. Ever. I couldn’t care less about anything else but when it concerns you, I’d move mountains to make things better for you. I love you chipmunk, please don’t ever feel like you’re broken when you’re so much more than that, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it.
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puzzled-pegasus · 3 months
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wof headcanons but theyre oddly food and substance related for some reason
Although I understand why Tui didn't include very much info abt alchohol or drugs in a kids book there is an extreme lack of culinary related world building so here are some ideas I had while on this train of thought :)
SeaWings tend to be foodies and are generally given cooking classes in school. Which if you think about it, is rather important, because like 60 percent of the creatures in the ocean are poisonous and the rest have parasites and nasty germs so they need to know whats up when it comes to food safety.
SeaWings use a lot of citrus in their food and drinks and they also use it for fragrances and stuff they just really like it
SeaWing nobles commonly eat fugu and there have been assassinations where a chef was bribed to not properly take out the poison so the dragon eating it would die
SeaWings drink to taste. SkyWings drink to forget what century it is.
SkyWings typically eat their meat raw but on special occasions they will barbecue it and put some spices n stuff on it. They don't eat much else besides meat but they do like spicy things like peppers and they also like strong onion or garlic flavors. The little masochists. Anyway,
SkyWings don't really like sweet things and many of them can't even taste them so they're like wtf is a dessert
man do they love them some olives tho. Olives everywhere. In their drink. Out of the jar. On their meat. Oil on their scales. Oil in their hygiene products. They started trading them from the Sand and SeaWings millennia ago but theyve selectively bred ones that grow in the mountains
This one's more drugs than food but SkyWings will sometimes take some kind of stimulant before battle like a beserker so they're all fired up heheh
MudWings are excellent meal preparers and sibs like to all cook together so they'll make a big pot of stew or something
They like bread and desserts, they have easy access to sugar cane being along the east coast and they also use a lot of honey. They're re into canning stuff too, they have a lot of raspberries and blackberries and strawberries in their temperate forest areas and they grow them to make jam and wine and they use honey to make mead
basically they are Cottagecore(TM) and I love them
They also eat lots of freshwater fish and crawfish and whatnot
And they also eat a lot of tatoes
Vanilla grows in the swamps, they use that in their cakes
MudWings deserve some appreciation goddamnit their kingdom is biologically diverse and beautiful
SandWings have tequila because. Yknow. Cactus.
They eat a lot of bugs and lizards, they don't really need to eat every day so it's not a huge deal
they do like coconuts tho and they use coconut oil in a lot of their hygiene products as well as in their cooking
They deep fry a lot of shit. Idk where i got this but trust me. They love things with lots of fat in it bc they need all they can get
Really sticky sweet desserts and candy; enjoyers of those one lollipops with the mealworms or whatever tf in them
also canning stuff like bone broth is very important
pickled cactus as well
rhey probably have a festival when cactus fruit goes in season
what even is IceWing cuisine.
Well way up north where there's nothing but ice it's pretty bad and the dragons have to eat just plain ass meat and seafood, but down into the tundras there's some pretty good stuff like cinnamon, pines for tea, honey berries, and other foraging as well as more diversity of meats
They would probably eat sushi
All the other tribes like to make fun of them and rightfully so bc their food is so plain
they make good honey berry wine tho
Maube that's why theyre so damn grumpy
RainWings are expert foragers ofc but they don't really feel the need to prepare their food in any way
They are, however, in constant dire need of sodium because they get absolutely none from their fruit
So anything salty is wow
Maybe rhey have a place near the mud kingdom border where they can grow some asparagus for salt
they are also the only tribe besides Night that can eat chocolate but forgor 💀 how to make it so the NightWings and them have to re figure it out together
Salted dark chocolate bing bang boom instant delicacy
NightWings used to be able to cook really well, especially desserts and pastry, but they forgor while they were trying to not die on the volcano
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raythekiller · 10 months
Note
If it's alright could you do JTK, Hoodie, Masky, Toby and Ben + any female creep of your choice with a new vampire recruit? :]
🗒 ❛ Vampire Reader ༉‧₊˚✧
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Featuring: Jeff The Killer, Ben Drowned, Ticci Toby, Masky, Hoodie, Clockwork
#Notes: *vampire lover by lesbian bed death starts playing in the background*
pronouns used: they/them
˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Jeff The Killer
Lowkey wants you to bite him, not gonna lie. Just to see what happens, y'know? Overall he's a bit curious if those vampire cliches are true. Might have tried to stab in your sleep with a wooden stake or randomly thrown holy water in your face with a sprayer. Also, he calls you "Batsy" and thinks he's being so funny.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ben Drowned
Will put his fingers in your mouth to see your fangs. Doesn't even ask for permission first, the little shit. Also pretty happy you're not human as well, will want to know what supernatural abilities you have so you two can compare (he says his are cooler but he thinks they're equally impressive).
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ticci Toby
The most curious. Do you sleep in a coffin? Are you allergic to garlic? Do you burn under sunlight? Can you turn others by biting them? Did you get bit yourself?! Overall just very excited, he never thought he'd see a real vampire before so this is very new to him and he wants to know all about it.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Masky
Doesn't treat you any different (by which I mean, still treats you badly just like he does everybody else) but he does steal glances at your neck every now and then, trying to spot any bite marks. Will also glare at your fangs when you're eating something (be it blood or something else). Just doesn't want to admit that he's curious.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Hoodie
Also doesn't treat you any different. At most he'll jokingly tell you to bite him or that you can feed on his blood if you complain about being hungry, but he doesn't actually mean it. Probably the one that shows you around and introduces you to everybody else like "This is Y/N, fresh meat, also they're a vampire" and laughs at everyone's reactions.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Clockwork
Horny. Absolutely wants you to bite her just to see how it feels like. Also wants to touch your fangs, but will ask first unlike a certain ghost boy. When you two get food together, she always makes sure there's no garlic in it even if you've already told her that myth is not true. Same thing with going out, will bring you an umbrella in a sunny day just to make sure.
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garbinge · 8 months
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You, Me, and Italy
Michael Berzatto x F!Reader From these August Prompts:  Italy Word Count: 3.5k Warnings: All my fics are 18+, angsty, mentions of suicide, death, grief, loss, broken heart, drug use, addiction, being high, someone close to ODing, uncomfortable, sad, mentions of sexual situations, it's based on canon mentions of suicide and death and grieving, but a little more in depth. So just be weary of any triggers one might have in reference to these things.
A/N: This is not apart of my Richie Jerimovich multichap. This is heavy. I try and steer clear of fics like this because of my own triggers and trauma around drug abuse and addiction but this just was an idea sitting in my head probably because of all that trauma. The Bear Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @quixscentsposts @dadbodfanatic-x @adorable-punk-superheroes @lodeddiperrodrick @isalver @captainweasleybarnes @musicwithteeth @fancyvoidtragedy @shinebright2000 @knight4xmas
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The kitchen was always your favorite place to be when you couldn’t sleep. Something about the ability to hear every single noise in a space where usually you’d be lucky to hear the person next to you speak at a normal tone. 
You had come in through the back, placed your stuff down in the locker that had your name written on a green piece of tape, your insanely patterned bandana was snug around your head just above your forehead, something you always wore when cooking. Now, the sounds of the water running as you washed her hands filled your ears and was followed by the clunks of pulling the knives out, the blade tinging as you set it free from its case. Now slicing, the quick quippy sounds of the thin slices of all the items you needed to prep. Basil, onions, garlic, fig, and parmesan cheese. All the ingredients you picked up from the grocery story that was still open this late. The chopping and the sizzling filled your ears in a similar way that music would fill someone else’s. It kept you grounded, kept you calm, kept you in the moment. 
“Late night snack?” A voice interrupted that tranquility but surprisingly, there was no reaction from your side. You kept steady as your hand tossed the garlic and basil in the olive oil, other hand equipped with a spoon ready to add in the parmesan ricotta mixture. 
“You’re lucky I don’t scare easily.” Your voice was steady as you focused on the pan in front of you. 
Mikey looked down and laughed before he made his way from the office over to his best chef and best friend. He leaned against the prep area, hands crossed as you had your back to him. 
“You should toast the breadcrumbs.” Mikey said as he took in what you were doing. 
Immediately, your head turned to look over your shoulder and shot the man a look. “I’m a one-woman show here, Mikey. I’m getting to it.” 
“You know, I can help you out.” He had crossed his leg over the other now as he waited for a response. “Only if you want to.” His arms were now uncrossed as he raised them in a surrender.
Your head tilted, the only invitation he needed to start helping out. 
“I’m making arancini, fig and garlic arancini.” You specified. 
“Rice balls. You’re making rice balls.” Mikey teased. “What inspired the fig?” He asked as he toasted the bread crumbs at the stove next to you. 
“Remember when we went to that bar the other night?” You looked up at him, despite being a few feet down from you, he still towered over you in height. “While you and Richie were off doing God knows what, I ordered shit from the bar. They had this fig, arugula, and goat cheese pizza.”
“Jesus Christ, what fuckin’ bar were we at?” Mikey laughed at the fanciness of how it all sounded. 
“That place, Porta. I’d say it was more hipster than fancy.” 
“God, I don’t even remember.” Mikey laughed before placing his attention back on you and continuing the conversation. “So the pizza was good?” 
“It was, and I just kept thinking what would go well with fig and landed at a rice ball.” 
“Arancini.” Mikey corrected you with the biggest grin growing on his face. 
A laugh left your mouth as you took the sauce off the heat, wanting it to cool down slightly before pouring it into the egg mixture that was already placed in the fridge. 
The silence fell over the both of you and you both continued to move around the kitchen. Mikey stood with the bowl of rice in his hands, resting it on the prep counter as you stood over and poured in the egg mixture. Mikey was whisking it around rapidly, that way the eggs didn’t scramble. The smell coming from the bowl was filled with savory scents of garlic and sweet touches of fig reduction. 
“You good, buddy?” Mikey was looking at you as he stirred everything around. It wasn’t so much in reference to your current state, which was focused as you concentrated on pouring the egg mixture in, but more in reference to why you were here late. 
Buddy. Such a Mikey term. The two of you knew each other for years, meeting when you were smoking in the back of the restaurant you used to work out. To put it in simple terms, he poached you. He had just grabbed a bite at said restaurant, with his brother Carmy, a detail you found out later since Mikey came alone to the alley in the back where you had been taking a break. He asked if you had made the slow braised beef and proceeded to tell you about his restaurant. You never walked back into that restaurant again and started at The Beef the next day. 
As time passed, things got close with Mikey. The two of you just fed off each other, you vibed effortlessly and one day that led to more. You spent a majority of the night locked in the office making a bed out of the table, the floor, the bookshelf, anything that had an inch of a flat surface, Mikey took you. That however, never amounted to more. It was always just sex. There was no label on what the two of you had, no real dates, no holding hands, just stolen moments around the restaurant, late nights in the kitchen, nights out at bars, and overnights spent at each others places. But that never made anything awkward because despite their being no label, everyone knew there was something between you two. It was impossible to miss. The way you two got along, the way you spent every waking moment together, whether you were at the restaurant or not. But what the real dead giveaway was, you two moved in the kitchen like you had perfected a choreographed dance, every, single, time. There was never any missteps, any arguing, no bumping into each other, you just glided by each other, calling out kitchen terms and directions. It was a sight to be seen, everyone thought so. Including the family. Sugar and Carmy were impressed when you came by for the first time maybe a month into starting at The Beef. Richie had already seen how the two of you worked together but both Berzatto siblings were shocked by it. 
“Hey, you good?” Mikey repeated himself and bent down a little to look into your eyes. 
“Yea, sorry.” You shook your head from your thoughts. 
“I don’t buy it.” Mikey pressed you again for more information. “What’s with late night rice balls?” 
“You ever feel stuck?” There was no point in trying to hide what you were feeling from Mikey. 
“Uh, just every day of my life.” You let out a breath through your nose in a sort of chuckle. “I just, wish I could get out of here.” The frustration was littered in your voice. 
“Where would you go?” He set the bowl down now that everything was stirred, and he turned to face you. 
“Anywhere.” You turned too so you were facing him. 
“So let’s go.” His voice raised, like what he said and meant didn’t need planning, didn’t need money, he spoke it outloud like it was the easiest thing to achieve. 
“Yea, where?” You were about to start naming off places around here in Chicago as a joke but he was quick to answer you. 
“Italy.” 
You frowned but a smile was growing on your face. “Italy?” You questioned. 
“Yea, let’s go to Italy, we’ll eat all the rice balls in the fuckin’ country, we’ll learn how to make ‘em like a true Italian. We’ll eat our way around Rome, Sicily, Naples, it’ll be great, just me and you and Italy.” He was so energetic in how he spoke, his hands were in the air, his voice was echoing off the kitchen walls. 
“You, me, and Italy?” You questioned him as your head nodded in agreement. 
“You, me, and Italy.” Mikey nodded with the biggest smile on his face. 
____
Time might’ve passed and a lot of things might’ve changed, but sometimes stayed exactly the same. You were pushing through the back door of The Beef, bag and kitchen tools in hand as the clock ticked past 1AM. 
“Mikey?” You called out, expecting to see him appear in the kitchen. You called out again and heard nothing. It was odd, but also maybe not. He had been distant lately, you picked up on that when most nights he didn’t come back to your place. You knew things had been tough for him, he was having money issues and as a result moved back in with his mother, he was stressed. Every time you did get the chance to see him, he wasn’t fully there, sometimes you’d taste alcohol on his breath, others you could tell his mind was caught in a thought or 20. 
Moving to the lockers, you saw the door open just slightly and the lamp on illuminating a ton of paperwork. You saw his hand resting on the table and slowly peaked in. 
Now, you had your suspicions, they were probably more than suspicions, you knew. You knew Mikey was hooked on something. But you didn’t want to accept it. But there it was, slapping you right in the face. It had been functional, he had been functional, which is what made it easy for you to question, for you to say nothing. After tonight, you’d regret it, you’d regret staying silent, not giving in to your suspicions, voicing them out loud. 
You took in the sight of him, he was so out of it, you could see his glazed over eyes even from the distance you were at. The giveaway as if everything else wasn’t so obvious was the pills scattered all over the paperwork in front of him. 
“Mikey.” The urgency hit you just as much as the the scene of him. You were next to him in seconds, shaking him awake. 
The smile that filled his face as he stared at you, the smile that warmed your heart, the smile that melted you, the smile of your best fucking friend was breaking you. 
“What–what’re you doin’ here?” 
“How much did you take, Mikey?” You moved forward to the table to search for a bottle, a pill count, see how many were on the table, but Mikey’s hands began to grab your arms. 
“No, no, no, no, no. Stop, you’re ruining the fun.” Mikey complained, his voice was slurred. 
You pulled back immediately, uncomfortable and unsure what to do. Your heart was beating fast and before your tears could even start falling, Mikey started yelling. “You’re ruining the fun!!” It was a repetition of what he had said before and all it did was secure your feet frozen to the ground. “That’s all anyone ever does anymore. Ruin the fucking fun.” He spun in the swivel chair like a child and when it stopped spinning he looked at the bookshelf and began speaking again, but this time more at a whisper. 
“Even my own fuckin girl. I can’t have anything.”  
You snuck out the door, searching for your phone in your pocket. The irony that in your hastiness, you spent more time looking for it than if you searched for it with purpose and patience. 
As you picked your phone up to your ear, your hand was shaking. “C’mon, pick up, pick up.” You mumbled, taking your other hand to pick at your lip. 
“It’s 1 in the fuckin’ morning, I’m neck deep in shit diapers, if this is you and Mikey asking me to go out, I’m blocking your number for eternity.” Richie seemed stressed in a completely different way. 
“Richie, it’s Mikey, he uh, I don’t know, there’s pills, he’s awake–sort of?, he’s angry, I don’t know how much he took but he, he uh, I just need help, I need you down here, can you get down here, please?” The shakiness in your voice was the dam holding back your tears. 
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes. Keep him up.” 
With that Richie hung up and you were moving back into the office, you squatted down and turned the chair so he was facing you. “Mikey, babe?” You tried to keep your voice soft. His red, glossy eyes met yours as he plopped his head down to look at you. 
“My girl.” A little bit of hope filled his face, he reached his hand up to cup your face. The impulse to pull away was strong but you stayed there, you stayed there with him and let him speak to you. 
“You’re so pretty, you know that? So pretty. And you’re so talented, you can throw down, you know that? Best fuckin slow braised beef I’ve ever fuckin’ had.” 
The amount of compliments he was giving you, it should’ve had you elated, floating, with butterflies but instead it was making you sick–uneasy. And you just had to sit there and let him say it, over and over again. You were counting in your head, hoping that once you got to the 10th 60th second count, that Richie would be here. 
“Hey hey hey, you listening to me?” Mikey moved slightly to look at you, even in his fogged state he could tell your mind was elsewhere. 
“Mhm.” You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes as you stared into his eyes. 
“You, me, and Italy, baby. You, me, and Italy.” The second time he said it, it was in a whisper like he was desperate for it to be true. Like if he said it low enough the world would grant him the wish. That’s when you really saw him, saw what was happening in his brain. Alongside that hopeful look was one of peace and happiness. The absolute gut wrenching emotion you felt in your heart when you realized it. How being high set Mikey free, set him free from his demons, in some weird twisted way this was the closest you’ve seen Mikey to his usual self. 
Before your heart could break anymore, you heard Richie’s voice behind you and he was slipping into your spot and picking Mikey up.
______
“You know I remember this one time, we went over to Mikey’s place, the one on Courtyard, me, Carm, and Richie, and it was Sunday, Braciole night. We walk in, Mikey’s got the game playing so loud in the background, we start prepping, cooking. I remember he told me not to put raisins in the braciole even though that’s how mom did it. And he just, he had this smile on for those first 30 minutes, like he had something planned, like he was in on the joke. But the thing is none of us knew what the joke was. And then, the door opened, we were all confused at who it was and then, this woman appeared. Mikey introduced her to us, he was so happy, and we were like shocked, cause Mikey, our big brother, the player, brought this girl over to our fucked up family Sunday night dinner. She didn’t care that the TV was loud, that we were even louder, that Mikey and Richie would tell the most insane stories, over and over again, and in fact, she moved around the kitchen like, well, like she’d known us all our whole lives. I don’t know if I ever saw Mikey so happy.” Sugar was sitting in bed, her phone on speaker while you sat silent on the other line. 
“You at the restaurant?” Sugar cleared her throat. 
“Standing right outside it.” You spoke up, trying to hide your tears from the story Sugar just told. 
“I’ll be there soon.” There was rustling on the other side of the phone, like she had started to get up and get ready. 
“Sugar?” You questioned, worried she was about to hang up. 
“Hm?” She hummed. 
“Thank you.” It was two words but sometimes you needed to hear it. How much Mikey loved you, he didn’t tell you often, but you felt it, you saw it. But now, that he was gone, that all that was left of Mikey for you was the things he left at your place, the memories you shared, you took the antidotes Sugar occasionally told you and kept them someplace special. 
“I’ll see you in the chaos.” Sugar replied back to you in which you did the same. 
For a few seconds after the phone call, you stood there, staring at the gutted restaurant, staring at the mayhem happening behind the glass, which was normal for the restaurant, whether it was in business or not. But right now, standing outside, in the peace of the quiet reminded you of those late nights in the kitchen, and you were destined to hold onto that peace for just a few more minutes. 
Eventually, you joined the chaos. Greeting everyone as you made your way through the renovation. Finding yourself getting swept up into something in the immediate first seconds you entered the front door. After an hour or so, when you wrapped up your job in the front, you made your way to the kitchen.  
“What’re you doing?” You placed your stuff down in the office as you walked past Richie, Fak, and Marcus who were gathered around someone’s phone watching a video, arguing back and forth. Natalie stood up from the chair in the office and placed a hand on your shoulder in a half greeting and walked over to the arguing men. Your eyes lingered on the office table and chair a little longer than normal, letting the memories flood into your brain for a short few seconds before you turned to put your attention back on everyone. 
“Scraping and painting and fighting over moving the lockers.” Marcus spoke up. 
You turned around and stepped out of the office, staring at them trying to attempt to move the lockers. Carmy had appeared now, yelling at them to keep it down and when the mention of Mikey’s locker still being locked was announced, that’s when everyone silences. 
“Just fuckin’ open it.” Carmy spoke up. 
A hat. June 5th, 2010. Taste of Chicago. The booth. 
You smiled at that. You weren’t there for the booth, but you heard all about it. From the family, but from Mikey, it was one of the many stories he’d tell you over and over and honestly, you’d do anything to hear him tell it 200 more times. 
Carmy handed the hat to Richie, and as he turned around his eyes fell on your. 
“Yo, uh, I got something for you.” He said and walked right past you into the office, searching for something. As everyone went back to working, you turned and took a few steps towards Carmy as he moved the papers around looking for something. 
“So, uh, we’re sending Ebra and Tina to culinary school, for them to stay sharp, learn some new shit, and uh, I–we, Syd and I figured you didn’t want or honestly really need that, so uh–here!” He proclaimed the last word louder than the rest as he found the envelope with your name written on it and handed it to you. 
You looked down at it for a second and then back at Carmy, you two didn’t talk much in general, but you definitely didn’t talk much about him. 
“You and Syd…” You started to say as you mindlessly tapped the envelope against your skin. “You uh,” You wanted to say that the two of them reminded you a lot of you and Mikey, the effortlessness in the kitchen, the way their ideas just bounced off each others and how they brought this new sense of life to each other. But it was that last thought that weighed heavy on you. There was a point that Mikey brought a new sense of life to you and you did the same to him but unfortunately that emotion, that feeling, had changed at some point, at no ones fault but it didn’t stop you from not cherishing it more. “Just, don’t take it for granted.” 
“Yea, yea.” Carmy nodded, getting where you were coming from but also not really wanting to get into it and you were okay with that because you didn’t want to get into it either. 
Carmy’s eyes moved down to the envelope and back to you. Taking the hint you nodded. “Right.” You said quickly and began to rip the envelope open. As your hand reached in and pulled out the papers in the envelope, you saw the word United and then followed by a seat and time and that’s when you saw the airports. 
ORD – NAP
Naples International Airport. 
“Carmy.” You looked up, eyes shocked. 
“It’s what Mikey would’ve wanted.” Carmy nodded and walked by you, taking his hand to rest on your shoulder and then tap it as he exited the office. 
You stared down at the tickets, trying to take in everything. 
“You, me, and Italy, Mikey.”  
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super-cosmic-library · 11 months
Text
loosely based on this post
tw: mentions of blood
Look, everyone had gone through a vampire phase. One Mrs. Stephanie Meyer had a heavy hand in that. And even if one had somehow managed to skirt the whole Twilight saga, there were a litany of other vampire books/tv shows/movies that came in its wake. Almost everyone in the 2010s wanted a vampire boyfriend. Even Robin, whose taste veered toward the more extraterrestrial side of paranormal fiction, had confided in Steve that she wouldn’t mind having an undead, blood sucking vampire girlfriend.
All in all, Steve didn’t get it. Why did nearly all of the girls in his grade fawn over the idea of getting with someone older than their great grandfathers? It was gross. Not to mention the fact that vampires didn’t have blood, so how would they even be able to get it up in the bedroom? 
The whole mess baffled him to no end, and he was grateful when its popularity died down. He didn’t know if he would be able to take listening to Max and El giggling over Edward What’s-his-face.
His relief, however, was short lived. Just as the kids he baby sat started to enter high school, the Twilight saga had a resurgence of popularity all thanks to TikTok. Only this time, he didn’t just have to hear it from the girls. Max and El had gotten Lucas and Will to watch the movies with them, which led to them reading the girls’ copies of the books. And, look, Lucas he understood. When Steve was in high school, he would have done anything to please Nancy. (Luckily, she had been more interested in the rising popularity of the dystopian genre. He had thoroughly enjoyed listening to the Hunger Games series on audiobook.) But Will? Even if he was just doing it to bond with his sister, Steve thought the boy had more taste than that.
And when Lucas and Will became obsessed with it, so did Mike and Dustin. Again, Steve understood Mike, even though unlike Lucas, he was totally oblivious to his crush on Will. But Dustin? As far as Steve was aware, Suzie wasn’t allowed to read the series, even though the creator was also Mormon.
At least Erica was still at the age where she turned her nose up at any hint of romance.
But, you know, it wouldn’t be such a big deal if the kids obsession with vampires contained itself to the fictional world. He could deal with it better if it did. If then, they might be able to talk about other topics of interest. Hell, Steve would give anything to listen to the boys ramble all day long about their Dungeons and Dorks game. But Steve wasn’t so lucky.
Because while he loved the kids’ strong, creative imaginations, it meant that sometimes their fictional obsessions would spill over into the real world. And that. That was what he was really fed up with.
“I swear, it’s him,” Dustin nearly shouted over the other boys. “Same name. Same exact hair. He’s a vampire.”
Steve restrained a groan as he looked up from the dishes to see Dustin, Lucas, Will, and Mike at the dining table crowded around what appeared to be a high school yearbook.
“He can’t be!” Thank god, Mike was being the voice of reason. (Something Steve never thought he would be.) “I’ve seen him walk to his van in the sun, and he was totally fine. Also, on spaghetti day in the cafeteria, he ate, like, three slices of garlic bread!”
Steve had thought too soon.
“Then how do you explain this?” Dustin asked, gesturing to the page.
“Maybe it’s someone he’s related to?” Will offered.
“I don’t know,” Lucas said. “The resemblance is uncanny.”
Curiosity got the best of Steve. What could he say? Even if he hated this whole vampire thing, he enjoyed the weird little adventures his kids went on. Steve didn’t have many friends growing up. Hell, aside from Robin, he didn’t have many friends now. At least, friends his own age. It made his heart warm, seeing all of them getting to be a bunch of idiot children together. 
But they didn’t need to know that.
“What are you little shits looking at?” He slung the dish towel he had been using to dry the flatware with over his shoulder, and made his way over to the table.
“Steve, we think our new DM is a vampire!” Dustin announced excitedly.
Steve put his hands on his hips (his signature mom pose, according to the kids), and rolled his eyes. “Vampires aren’t real.” 
He didn’t say it to dull the kid’s enthusiasm. If anything, antagonization was their form of love language. Plus, Dustin always took the discouragement as a challenge to double down on whatever stance he took. Steve had to admire the kid for his confidence in himself. He knew first hand how easily that could be stripped away. 
“Then how do you explain this?” Dustin slid the yearbook over for him to look at, pointing at  the man in question. “He’s been in high school for years.”
Steve glanced down at the page. “Oh, Eddie Munson? He was in some of my classes last year. He was held back twice; though, that may have been because he almost never showed up to class. But that doesn’t mean he’s a vampire.”
“This is an old yearbook, though,” Lucas countered.
“If last year is old, then how ancient do you think I am?” Steve snipped. He pointed to the class picture that captured his likeness. “Look, there’s me. Does that mean I’m a vampire?”
“Steve, this isn’t your yearbook.” Dustin held the cover of the book up for Steve to read. There on the cover, in green and gold, were the words “Class of 1985.”
“What?” He snatched the yearbook from him, and flipped back to the page they had been studying. “No, that’s . . .”
He trailed off. Yes, that picture had captured his likeness; however, it was his father’s name that was written underneath. His father, who he was apparently the spitting image of.
“Maybe it’s his dad,” Steve tried, flipping through the pages. “Or his uncle. Doesn’t he live with his uncle?”
“We already checked the rest of it.” Mike snatched the book away from him. “He’s the only Munson in there.”
“His dad and his uncle could have not been in high school together,” Will countered.
“Thank you for being the only reasonable person here.”
Will blushed at Steve’s praise. 
“I am telling you,” Dustin trudged on. “Eddie Munson is a vampire. And we’re going to prove it.”
~~~
Proving it ended up being more challenging than the boys had thought. As Mike had already proved, Eddie had no aversion to garlic or the sun. Crosses, Lucas pointed out, had no affect on him either, seeing as he wore one on his ring. So there went that theory. Dustin had even followed him into the bathroom one day to see if Eddie had a reflection in the mirror. He ended up having two Eddies stare at him like he was a creep.
Either none of the stereotypes were true, or--and Dustin was loathe to admit it--Steve was right.
There was still one more thing they could try.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Lucas said.
Dustin huffed. “Well, do you have any better plans? Because the only thing we haven’t tried yet is a stake to the heart, which is a dumb thing to begin with because that could kill anyone.”
“What about holy water?”
“And how are you going to get a priest to agree to bless a bottle of water?” Mike asked.
“My pastor might do it,” Lucas said.
“Let’s just try this first,” Dustin said. “And if it doesn’t work, you can call your pastor.”
The plan was simple, really. While they were playing DnD that afternoon, Dustin was going to “accidently” get a paper cut. Eddie’s reaction to the fresh blood would determine whether or not he was a vampire. It was fool proof.
Unfortunately, it seemed like Dustin was a fool. Who could blame him, though? Eddie was an amazing Dungeon Master. He knew just how to craft a story to suck just about anyone in. It wasn’t until they were packing up at the end of the session that Dustin remembered the plan. That probably explained the looks the other boys had been shooting him the entire time.
Dustin was just about to drag the edge of a piece of paper across this hand, when the drama room door banged open.
“Alright, you little shits. Get in the car. I’m already having a bad day, and I don’t need your moms blowing up my phone asking where you are.”
“Steve, why do you have a tampon in your nose?” Will asked.
Dustin glanced up at Steve, only to find that the man indeed had a bloody tampon in his nose.
“I had a nose bleed, and didn’t have any Kleenex in my car. It’s the only thing Robin or I had. And it works, so I don’t want to hear anything more about it.”
Blood.
Dustin nearly gave himself whiplash turning his head to look at Eddie. Eddie, who was staring at Steve with eyes that could only be described as ravenous.
“King Steve,” Eddie drew out as he approached Steve.
“Munson.”
“Now why’s a pretty jock like you carting around a bunch of nerdy freshmen?”
“I baby sit them.”
Eddie chuckled. “Yes, they are a bunch of babies.”
That was met with a round of protests from the kids.
“How hard was your nose bleeding? Aren’t tampons supposed to be super absorbent?”
Lucas was right. There was a ring of blood leaking down the tampon.
“Are you okay?” Will asked.
Eddie, however, did not look okay. Dustin had never seen him so focused on one thing as he was with Steve’s nose. And that included DnD.
“Yeah, it just happens sometimes. I’ll be fine. Now come on, or Robin’s going to start honking.”
They were being corralled out of the building before Dustin could come to any concrete conclusions, but judging from the way Eddie had stared at Steve’s nose, he was sure their hunch was correct.
Now they just had to prove it.
~~~
Turned out, the best way to prove their DM was a vampire was to show up at his trailer unannounced. Catch him off guard while he was at his most comfortable. In fact, the hardest part about the whole thing had been trying to convince Steve to drive them over to the trailer park. In the end, he was a push over as always.
Dustin bounded up the steps to the trailer, the other boys close behind. He pounded on the door. “Eddie!”
A crash came from inside, followed by a grumbled “shit.” A few moments later, Eddie swung open the door.
“Couldn’t have given me a heads up?”
“We have some urgent DnD questions. Couldn’t’ve waited for you to respond.” Dustin and the rest of the boys pushed passed him into the trailer. Only Will hesitated, sheepish look on his face.
“Hey, wait, what are you doing!” Eddie called after them.
“Oh my god, have some manners,” Steve slammed his car door closed.
“Steve,” Eddie began. “They roped you into this?”
“They threatened to walk otherwise. Couldn’t let them get hit by a car or kidnapped.”
The four boys searched around the tidy trailer, not even trying to appear like they weren’t.
“What are you knuckleheads doing?” Eddie asked.
Steve, who they had not informed what they were doing, seemed to have caught on to their plan. “Not this again.”
“You know what they’re doing?” 
“Guys, look!” Mike, staring in the fridge, exclaimed. The boys ran over to him.
“Hey, you guys, get out of there!” Eddie exclaimed.
“Yeah, knock it off. Let the man live in piece.”
Dustin, Lucas, and Will gasped when they saw the contents of the fridge. Yes, there was normal people food in the fridge--nothing to write home about. But stacked on the top shelf was the motherload: bags and bags of blood.
Mike grabbed one and held it out for Steve to see. “We fucking told you!”
“Eddie’s a vampire,” Dustin vibrated with excitement. “Eddie, you’re a vampire.”
“Eddie’s not . . . there’s gotta be . . .Eddie?” Steve looked to Eddie as if asking him to deny the kid’s claims.
Eddie crossed his arms over his chest and heaved out an exasperated sigh. “Looks like you caught me.”
“I fucking told you!” Dustin shouted at Steve.
“Language.” Steve snapped. “Eddie, come on. Be serious. Vampires don’t exist.”
“Telling the truth, Harrington.” Eddie flashed them his fangs. “I am a vampire.” 
“You’re teeth aren’t normally that sharp,” Will said.
“I can control when my fangs come out,” Eddie said with a shrug. Then, to demonstrate, he retraced his fangs, so his teeth looked human again. “It’s been handy in hiding from mortals. In fact, you guys are the first to figure it out. Surprised it took this long for anyone to notice, honestly.”
“So you’ve been able to hide in plan sight for, like, hundreds of years?” Dustin asked.
Eddie slouched down onto the couch, understanding that he was about to be pelted with about a million questions. “More like forty.”
“Forty?” Will asked.
“I was turned in the ‘80s. ‘86, I think. I don’t know, the years start to blur together.”
“So, you’re just as old as our parents?” Mike scoffed. “Lame.”
“But I look much better than them.”
The boys took his nonchalance as permission to start their rain of questions.
“So do you have vampire powers?”
“How can you eat garlic?”
“Does the sun not burn your skin?”
“Do you have to get permission to enter new places?”
And on and on they went, only briefly pausing for Eddie to get a sufficient answer out. Meanwhile, Steve just stood by the door. Dustin could tell he was trying to process the fact that he had almost graduated with a vampire. Dustin could understand. Had he not already been convinced himself, the information would have taken a bit to accept.
When Steve finally came back around, he joined the group surrounding Eddie. 
“Why are you still at Hawkins High?” Steve asked. “You were in class with my parents. Couldn’t have you gotten out and gone someplace people won’t recognize you?”
Eddie paused, actually giving that question some thought. The other boys let him think it through instead of feeding him more questions. They wanted to know the answer too.
“Well, I tried to once, but then Wayne started having health problems, and I didn’t want to leave him alone. When I realized that I had stopped aging, I decided to stay with him even after he recovered. Realized that if I don’t grow old, I’m going to outlive him. I’d rather spend the rest of his life with him, than in hiding and regretting it when he’s gone. As for people recognizing me: you’d be surprised how little attention the freaks of Hawkins get.”
The group sat in silence for a moment, letting his words sink in. Dustin supposed that if he were turned into a vampire, he would stick around to spend as much time with his mom as he could.
“Speaking of, where is your uncle?” Lucas asked.
Eddie smiled to himself. “Technically, he’s my little brother. We started doing the whole uncle/nephew thing when he got too old to believably be my brother. And he should be finishing up his shift at the hospital. Decided to become a nurse after finishing chemo. He has always been the smart one. Besides, it helps with procuring my stash of blood.” 
Mike perked up at that. “So you do drink blood?”
“Yes.”
“But we’ve seen you eat real food.”
“You’re point?”
Mike huffed. “So do you need blood to live, or is it just a craving--like wanting a Coke?”
“I can eat real food, but it doesn’t fully satisfy my hunger. Only drinking blood does that.”
“Have you ever?” Steve gulped. “Have you ever drank blood from a person.”
“You offering?” Eddie smirked.
Steve flushed.
Weird.
As his friends continued to talk, Dustin’s mind wandered. It was no secret that Steve found men attractive. He was the biggest slut in Hawkins, after all. And Dustin had only ever seen him nervous around men who he thought were really hot. 
Oh, Dustin could have fun with this. After all, didn’t everyone want a vampire boyfriend?
okay, well this completely got away from me. will I make this a series? mayhaps.
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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 7 months
Text
Love Me, Anyway
Pairing: EddieMunsonxReader
Request: Joseph may have always grown up dreaming of having children and being a great father to them, and he plans to propose to his long-time girlfriend soon, just in time for her to find out that she will never have children because of a health problem related to her, and she decides to leave him, even though she loves him very much, thinking that she cannot give Joseph the life he wants.
Trigger Warnings: Infertility
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You dragged yourself up the stairs of your apartment complex, each step feeling like a journey of a thousand of the most difficult miles of your life. Your body was a balloon and you were trying to keep all the air inside. Your arms wrapped around your stomach as if you could hold yourself together, keep yourself from falling apart. The news you’d received an hour ago had been a deep and crushing blow to your soul.
You failed. You were a failure, broken, incapable of doing the one thing that a woman was supposed to be able to do, that women had been doing since the dawn of time. Your entire world, the future you’d envisioned for yourself, crashing down in an epic, heart shattering explosion before your eyes. A piece of yourself was gone and you would never get it back. You’d failed yourself and worse than that, you’d failed the person you loved more than anything.
On autopilot, you dug in your purse for your key but when you inserted it into the lock, you were surprised to find the door was already unlocked. Shit. That could only mean one thing. You couldn’t do this. Not yet. You’d been hoping to drown in your misery, sob in silence where no one could hear you, prepare yourself for the inevitable second heartbreak, the one that was going to shatter your heart into a million pieces that could never be repaired again. 
The briny smell of garlic and the tang of tomato fills your nose as you push open the door and enter your apartment. Jack Johnson’s ‘Better Together’ plays over the speakers in the kitchen as you catch sight of Joe, his back to you as he stirs sauce in a pot. Just the sight of those brown locks, curling gently at his neck, those broad shoulders underneath a cream sweater. Not just any cream sweater, your favorite one, the one that feels like you imagine a fluffy cloud would feel under your fingers. 
“And all of these moments just might find their way into my dreams tonight. But I know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings,” Joe sang softly as he swayed, pouring the contents of the saucepan into the skillet. 
He always said he couldn’t sing, that no one would want to hear him. But that was a lie because you loved to listen to him. His voice was your favorite sound in the world, usually so soothing, a balm to your soul. But tonight it was like torture, a voice that hissed in your ear, reminding you of all the things you couldn’t have. That picture the two of you had painted, the plans you’d made, the future you’d longed for, it was all gone. A blade had been taken to the canvas, shredding it until nothing was left and you were going to lose everything that mattered to you in a matter of hours. How would you ever survive such unimaginable loss?
Joe would never stand in this apartment again after tonight. He would never cook another meal for you, the two of you would never spend the night cuddled up on the couch watching movies, you would never tumble into bed with hands desperately grabbing for each other. This was the end. No happy ending for you. No prince whisking you off to your happily ever after. Your story was going to end painfully, brutally, and you had to accept that because you couldn’t do this to him. You couldn’t deprive this man you loved so much of the one thing he’d always wanted so much.
“Joe…” you said softly, three small letters, one syllable that your voice struggled to make.
The pan clanged as he spun around, his hand coming up to his chest, “Jesus darling, you scared me.” He laughed, his hands finding your arms, pulling you in, tucking you into the safety of his chest. Your cheek ran over the soft material of his sweater, your nose breathed him in, trying to absorb every minute detail of this moment that could be your last. “I was trying to surprise you with dinner but you surprised me. I didn’t expect you home so soon. Don’t you normally get off work at five?”
“Yeah,” you managed, unsure how, his arms the only thing that was keeping you from sinking to the floor. “I had an appointment today so I left early.”
“Appointment?” Joe pulled back, hands gripping your biceps, chocolate button eyes full of concern, concern that only fractured you that much more. “What kind of appointment? You didn’t mention anything. Is everything alright?”
“No…I mean, yeah…I mean, everything’s fine,” you lied, your eyes closing as you inhale slowly through your nose. You had to stay strong. You had to hold yourself together just a little longer, enough to do what you had to do, and then you could let yourself crumble. “It was just a routine appointment with my gynecologist. It didn’t seem worth mentioning and I didn’t expect to see you today.”
“Well, I didn’t say anything because I wanted to surprise you.” Joe releases his hold on you, leaving you cold, slipping under, into the darkness, desperate for his arms again. He waves his arm toward the stove. “I am making puttanesca, your favorite, and I got us a great bottle of wine.”
“Fancy. What’s the occasion?” you mumbled, your hand grabbing onto the counter, bracing yourself. You were drowning, flailing, struggling to keep your head above water. 
“You,” he mused with a lopsided smile, his hands locking around the small of your back. Soft, plush lips brushed over yours so gently that you had to swallow down the tears that were fighting like a flood raging against a dam. “You’re the occasion, my love. You’re always the occasion. Do I really need a special reason to have a romantic evening with my girl?”
“No…of course not…”
“Have a seat and relax. I’ll make you a plate and pour you a glass of wine.”
Just do it, you told yourself. Get it over with. Rip off the band-aid and let the wound bleed. It would only be harder if you allowed this romantic evening he had planned to continue. Better to just do it. He would leave. You could fall apart and Joe would have the opportunity to move on with his life, to find someone who could give him everything he’d ever wanted because it wasn’t you. It couldn’t be you. Not anymore. You were broken, defective, and this man deserved a woman who was whole. 
Your brain may be on board but your body was not. Your feet took you to the table, your knees bent as you sat in the chair. Your heart was desperate for one more evening, one more dinner, one more moment where it could pretend that everything was okay. Where it could gaze upon that perfect face, the face you never tired of looking at, and know that it was yours. Just a bit longer and then you would let him go because it was the right thing to do. 
Joe set your plate down in front of you, the pasta dish looking delicious, but your stomach twisted violently. You didn’t think you could put anything in your mouth right now, bile rising up in your throat. Shit. Were you going to be sick? No. You swallowed it back. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth, inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. The urge dissipated and you sighed in relief, picking up your fork, moving the food around, hoping he wouldn’t notice that you weren’t actually eating. 
“How was your meeting?” you asked, hoping it would get Joe talking because you didn’t trust yourself to say much. You were hanging on by a thread, a breath away from completely coming undone. 
Joe took a sip of wine, grinning widely, “Really well. Really well. I am excited about this project. The script is amazing, really dark and unique. It’s a real psychological trip. Great fun but also mind fucking in the best way. It’s different from anything else I’ve ever done.”
“Good, I’m glad. I know you’re trying to have a really diversified body of work.”
“I am. I don’t want to get pigeon holed, you know? If you’re not careful in this business, you get typecast. I was worried after Stranger Things. Don’t get me wrong. That was great fun. I loved the cast and crew on that show and I am so grateful for the doors it opened. I wouldn’t have the opportunities I have now if it weren’t for that role but the way it blew up, the love the fans had for Eddie…it just concerned me that I wouldn’t get taken seriously as an actor. But I feel like I’ve done a good variety of roles now that have shown the range of my skills.”
“You have,” you mumbled into your glass, taking a long drink of your wine, willing it to calm your nerves, to relax your muscles. “When will filming start?”
“In four months,” he answered, mistaking the look on your face, thinking it was concern about him traveling for work. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ve been through this before. I’ll fly back when I can and I’ll fly you in to visit. Filming will probably take a little over three months. Besides, I predict you could be quite busy while I’m gone.”
You looked up at him in confusion, “What do you mean?”
Joe’s lips pressed together for a moment and he suddenly looked nervous. His head tilted to the side, those beautiful lips curving into the sweetest smile. Leaning forward, elbows resting on the table, those soft brown eyes meeting yours. 
“Darling, I love you so much.” A weight so heavy it was going to crush your heart slammed into your chest. “These past two years have been the most amazing year of my life. I can’t imagine doing any of this without you. I want you by my side always. You make me better. It’s been so hard knowing who I can trust, who is genuine but never with you. I know you love me. You don’t care about the fame or the money or any of the celebrity bullshit. You just want me. You’ve been my safe place. You’re my home and I know, without a single doubt, that you always will be. You’re the person I want to come home to. You’re the person I want to sleep next to every night and the face I want to see when I open my eyes every morning.” 
He rose from his chair, coming around the table to stand in front of you. Your heart hammered in your chest, blood rushing so forcefully you could hear it whooshing in your ears. Joe’s hand slid into his pocket, revealing a small velvet box and you whimpered. No. This could not be happening. Not now. Not today. 
This beautiful man lowered himself to one knee, opening the box and presenting the most beautiful, simple princess cut ring to you. Emotions lodged in your throat, strangling you, cutting off your air supply. Your eyes widened, hysteria taking over. Hand clutched at your shirt, pulling it away from your body as you tried to tell yourself this wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening.
“I knew from the moment I met you that night at the pub that you were my forever. I told Wes I was going to marry you one day and I don’t want to wait even one more moment to start the rest of my life with you. Darling, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
“I…oh god…Joe…I…this is…what…” you stammered, tears flooding your eyes and spilling down your cheeks. 
Grief as you had never known crashed down over you like a tidal wave. This man, this beautiful, wonderful, perfect man was asking you to spend the rest of your life with him and you couldn’t even if it was the one thing you wanted more than anything in your life. You couldn’t do that to him. You couldn’t condemn him to a life that was lacking, a life that wasn’t what he wanted. You couldn’t stand to see resentment in his eyes years down the road, resentment directed at you because his life wasn’t what he’d pictured. You were going to drown in this grief, the tidal wave pulling you out to the deepest depths of the sea. 
Joe chuckled nervously, his thumb running over your cheek, collecting some of the tears, “I hope these are tears of joy that you are shedding, sweetheart.”
“Joe…” 
The word was a plea, a grief-stricken cry, a desperate sob and then your shoulders were shaking. Your body folded in half and Joe’s arms were instantly around you, pulling you to him. You slid off the chair and down into his lap. His breath was warm against your ear, lips brushing over your cheek. 
“Darling, what’s the matter?” he questioned, his voice panic-stricken. 
“I can’t,” you cried, shaking your head, your face buried against his neck. 
All you wanted to do was stay here, in the safety of his embrace, surrounded by his warmth and comfort, but you couldn’t. You had to do this and you had to do it now. You pushed away from him, wiping your eyes and rising to your feet. Joe followed, standing in front of you, hands reaching out but you backed up before he could grab you. 
“Love, what is this? What’s happening?”
“Joe, I can’t marry you,” you rasped, body trembling as you fought back the tears, fought to regain control of yourself. 
“What?” He stepped forward and you stepped back again. “Why the hell not?”
“Because…” What reason could you give him that would make any sense? There was none. There was no reason in the world why you shouldn’t marry this perfect creature. No reason you should be causing the pain that was etched onto that beautiful face. “Because it wouldn’t work, Joe. There’s no way this works.”
“Why not?” he demanded, his hand closing around the velvet box, squeezing it so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “Is this about my work? I know my job is…different. I have to be away sometimes but we’ve made it work so far.”
“Joe, I know but it doesn’t work for a long term marriage. I need stability. I need someone I can depend on to be here. I…” You were lying through your teeth but you knew you had to make it hurt if he was ever going to believe you. You needed him to walk away because you weren’t sure you were strong enough to do it. “I need someone that I can trust.”
Joe reeled back as if you’d slapped him, “And what the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You’re always traveling. You’re always surrounded by these beautiful women. Your co-stars and the models you’ve done shoots with and the fans that throw themselves at you. How am I supposed to sit at home all the time, wondering what you’re doing?”
“When have I ever given you cause to doubt me?” he pleaded, his hands open in front of him as if begging you. If he didn’t stop, you were going to give in. Your heart couldn’t handle this.
“It’s only a matter of time, Joe. What celebrity has ever had a successful marriage? You’re a man. You can only resist temptation for so long. It’s inevitable.”
Those eyes that were usually as warm as a cup of coffee turned ice cold and you knew you’d succeeded. You’d broken the two of you, shattered it irrevocably, just like your heart. Joe would hate you. He would despise you for thinking such things of him but that’s what had to happen if he had any chance of being happy in the future. 
“That’s what you think of me?” he hissed, stepping back. “You really think I’m capable of doing something like that to you? You doubt us so much that you can’t see this working? You think we’re doomed?”
“I do,” you insisted, lifting your chin in defiance, putting on an air of strength and resolve that you didn’t have. “Joe, this has been fun but that’s all it was. That was all it was ever going to be.”
With two long strides, he stepped into you, tilting his head, eyes boring into yours, “Bullshit.”
“Wh…what?” you gasped.
“Bullshit. I don’t believe you. You just told me you love me. Fun does not last for two years. I’ve felt you, darling. The way you kiss me, the way you cling to me when we make love, the way you want me,” he growled. His nose brushed along your forehead, moving down your cheek and you shuddered. “I’ve heard you, the things you whisper in my ear while I’m inside you, the promises you’ve uttered while we lay in bed. That’s not fun. That’s forever.”
“Joe, I…please…” you begged, eyes slipping closed when his hand slid under your shirt, splaying over the skin of your back. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“Make what harder? Your bullshit break-up? The lies you’re telling me?” His lips molded to yours and your own responded, betraying you, instantly recognizing and wanting him. His forehead pressed against yours with a smile. “See? You love me. So, what is this really about? Why are you trying to destroy a really fucking good thing?”
“You don’t want me,” you cried, eyes slipping closed, tears creating trails of heartbreak down your cheeks. “I can’t be what you need, Joe. Trust me. This is the best thing.”
“Why would you say that? Why would you even think that?”
His arms were around you again, crushing you to his chest. His chin rested on the top of your head, the insanely soft sweater caressing the skin of your cheek. The sweater you were currently soaking with your tears, probably ruining with your smeared make-up but Joe didn’t seem to notice or care as he held you. His grip was like iron, keeping you from pulling away, as if he could stop you from leaving. 
“Darling, I want you with every fiber of my being. I have never wanted anything more than I want you, the future we have planned together, the life we’ve dreamed of. You are what I need. You’re all I need. I can’t do this without you.”
“But I can’t give you that future. That dream is nothing but that, a dream, if you stay with me.”
“What are you going on about?”
A sigh of defeat rushed from your lips, knowing you would have to tell him. There was no escaping this. You’d thought you could anger him enough to make him walk away but he’d called your bluff and it was time to put all of your cards on the table. You pulled back as much as you could, tilting your head up to look into his face. 
“That doctor’s appointment…it wasn’t just a routine exam. I missed my period. I didn’t think much of it because my periods have always been irregular. But then I missed another one. I thought I might be pregnant but I’m not…I never will be. I’ve also been so tired lately. I’ve had trouble concentrating at work. They ran some tests and I have primary ovulation insufficiency. I don’t ovulate. I can’t have kids, Joe.”
His lips parted, eyes widening in shock. There it was. Now he would know. He would understand. Joe would agree with you. The two of you had dreamed of a future with children. He wanted at least three, a big family. He wanted to be a dad so badly and you couldn’t give that to him. Of course he wouldn’t want you. 
“I’m defective,” you whispered, attempting to pull back from him but he simply held on tighter. “I’m broken. You don’t deserve that. How can we be together when I can’t give you the one thing you want more than anything?”
“The one thing I want more than anything is you,” Joe stated, one hand sliding along your back to cup the back of your neck. “I am so sorry. You went through all of this alone? Darling, why didn’t you just tell me? I could have been there for you. I would have gone to the doctor with you.”
“How could I tell you? You’ve made it very clear that you want children, Joe. You have always dreamed of being a dad. You’ve gone on and on about all the things you want to do, the experiences you want your kids to have, when you’re a dad. I knew I was going to lose you if the test didn’t go my way.”
Joe’s face scrunched and you fought the urge to kiss his nose, “Why would you lose me?”
“Joe, are you even listening to me?” you groaned.
“I am. I’ve heard everything that you’ve said. I didn’t fall in love with you because of your ability to give me children. I fell in love with you because you’re perfect for me. You’re everything I could have ever wanted, everything I’ve dreamed of. If we want kids someday, there are ways. We can always adopt.”
“But they wouldn’t be yours,” you argued.
“Of course they would be. Genetics are not everything, sweetheart. Love is. There are so many kids out there who need loving homes, need someone to treat them like the most important person in the world. And we would. You will be an amazing mother, if that’s what you want.”
“I do. I just…I feel like such a failure. My body is incapable of doing the thing that essentially makes me a woman.”
“The ability to birth children does not define who you are,” Joe stated, shaking his head. “Your strength, your kind heart, your beautiful soul…those are what makes you who you are. Anatomy has nothing to do with that. You are the most perfect person I know. There is nothing defective about you.”
“You still want me?” you asked, hardly daring to believe it, terrified the rug would get pulled out from under you the minute you allowed yourself to.
“Of course I do. Darling, there is no one else for me but you,” he asserted, pulling the ring from his pocket once again. “Now, can we try this again?” He opened it, holding it out in front of him. “Would you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me because you are my absolute everything?”
You looked down at the ring and then up into the face of the man you loved. Your friends rolled their eyes when you gushed about how perfect he was but it was true. There was not another man out there who could hold a candle to Joe and there would never be another man for you. 
“Yes,” you grinned, nodding. “Yes!”
“That’s the correct answer,” he laughed, one hand grabbing onto your waist, pulling you in for a soft, sweet kiss. 
“I love you so much,” you whispered against his lips. 
“I love you too and we are going to have the most amazing life together,” Joe breathed, sliding the ring onto your left hand. “You and me forever, darling.”
“You and me, forever,” you agreed, wanting nothing more. 
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cod-dump · 1 year
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Soap’s blood type is O+, Ghost’s blood type is B+
Soap’s donated blood to Ghost a handful of occasions when shit went awry on a mission. But the one time that Soap needed blooded, Ghost couldn’t give him any. And that is something that Soap loves to tease him about, dramatically whining about how Ghost is like a vampire— stealing all of Soap’s blood, but never sharing his own.
The fact that Soap has given Ghost life with his blood donations while Ghost can’t do the same bothers him. He is unable to return the gift of life. It doesn’t bother Soap the way it bothers Ghost. Soap was injured and needed blood, but Ghost wasn’t compatible.
Soap ended up getting the blood he needed and after he was stable, Ghost was allowed to come see him. Soap grinned when he saw him and motioned him to come sit.
“How’s my favorite vampire?”
Ghost froze, “Vampire?”
“Yea! You take all my blood but you can’t give any back!”
Ghost frowns as Soap reaches out and grabs his hand, “It’s okay, I still love you.”
Ghost grumbles as Soap pulls his hand to his lips and kisses the back of his knuckles. Soap refuses to let Ghost take his hand back, just holds it against his chest. Ghost could faintly feel Soap’s heart beating, and that comforted him.
“Ya know… you being a vampire makes sense.”
Ghost sighs, deciding to humor Soap, “How so?”
“Well, you’re pale like you’re scared of sunlight, steal my blood, and you don’t come in anywhere without invitation. Oh! And you hate garlic!”
Ghost rolls his eyes and speaks dryly, “Oh no, you’ve figured out my secret.”
Soap sticks his tongue out at Ghost who leans over and rests his head on Soap’s shoulder. The angle was uncomfortable but he didn’t care. He feels Soap press a kiss to his forehead, his thumb brushing over the back of Ghost’s hand.
“I’ll give you as much blood as you need.”
Ghost huffs, “I figured you would even if I told you not to.”
“You may be my commanding officer but I have free will and refuse to bow.”
Ghost snorts, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth from Soap.
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familyvideostevie · 1 year
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hi love! could I request a boyfriend!sirius where maybe you’re shopping together or doing some mundane tasks but he keeps flirting and distracting you but you’re not really mad bc he’s so cute?
thank you for requesting! this is short and sweet and a little suggestive, hope you like! | fem!reader, flirty jokes, fluff, 0.7k
"I genuinely think this looks like James," Sirius says, nudging you with his elbow. You look away from the oranges and see that he's holding up a misshapen sweet potato. 
You just raise your eyebrows at him and bite the inside of your cheek. He wiggles the spud and clears his throat. "Oh, Lily, I swear I didn't mean to break my glasses again," he says, voice pitched up in a deliberately poor imitation of James's lilt. You flare your nostrils in an attempt to keep your expression neutral.
"It hasn't got glasses," you say. "Actually, it kind of looks like you." Sirius's eyes go wide and his jaw drops in mock offense. 
"I'm wounded," he cries, pressing a hand to his heart. "My own girlfriend thinks I look like a potato." The corner of your mouth twitches and you turn away from him to put the fruits from your list into your cart. 
"Don't be dramatic," you say, pushing your way around the produce section of the store. "Potatoes really are quite versatile."
Sirius hooks his chin over your shoulder to take a peek at the list and to say, softly, "Are you saying I'm easy, darling?" You can feel his stubble on your neck, smell his cologne over the sterile air of the supermarket.
"I'm saying that I like potatoes," you tell him. He laughs suddenly, delighted at your flirting, before crossing the aisle to grab garlic. 
"I'd hope so," he says. "Otherwise it's going to be real awkward when we get home and you have to share a bed with me." You roll your eyes and continue through the store. 
He tugs your hand as you leave the fruits behind and you stop. "You know, pineapple is supposed to make your pu--"
You level him with a glare and he stops talking, though his grin is smug and not at all sorry. "Don't think I won't leave you here," you say.
Sirius taps your chin with a knuckle. "You'd miss me." His eyes crinkle at the corners, like he can't help but smile when he looks at you. 
You sigh like the most put upon girl in the world. "Unfortunately," you drone. "Go get some cereal and I'll meet you by the bread." He presses a quick kiss to your cheek and spins on his heel.
Idiot, you think, but you're smiling. Every moment with Sirius is heightened, is more alive than you thought possible. He's practically spilling over with whatever he's feeling at any given moment and it spreads to you. His excitement, his flirtation, his love. Even this -- going to the grocery store -- is a small adventure. 
He's only gone for a few minutes, finding you in front of the pasta before you've made your way to the bread. He always finds you, somehow. He gasps when he sees you. 
"Fuck me," he says. "You've gotten prettier since I last saw you. How did you manage that?" You ignore him, studying the options on the shelf instead, but your mouth turns up at the edges. "There she is," Sirius says, softer. "Got you."
"You're incorrigible," you mutter. He moves to stand beside you, tucking his hand into your back pocket. 
"Oh, big word," he says, breath hot on your ear. "Talk dirty to me."
"If you keep distracting me we're never going to get home," you tell him. He shrugs. 
"This would not a bad place to live, actually. Lots of food. Shit to do. I'm sure there are break rooms with couches we could fu--" You level him with the same glare from the fruit aisle and he laughs again. "Sorry, sorry, I'll behave. And then we can go home to our couch." He leans in to kiss the corner of your mouth. 
"I'll believe it when I see it," you say. He plucks the list from your hand and gives it a once-over. 
"Meet you at the check-out in 10 and I swear I'll have all of this stuff." Before you can say another word he's off.
"Ridiculous," you say to the pasta. I love him, you think, cheeks starting to ache from your smile.
thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, masterlist here!
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