#shrimp week shenanigans

[montereybayaquarium]

Get Ready With Us - Shrimp Week edition! 

Join the Aquarium crew for a prawnderful GRWU livestream on Thursday, Mar. 7 at 3 p.m., where we’ll be crafting, chatting, and shrimpin’ around. 🦐

Sea you on Twitch or over on our YouTube channel 💙

#monterey bay aquarium #let's get krillin' #shrimp week shenanigans #pristine prawn preening preparation #shromp week 2024

[faeriekit]

I’m writing this only to excise this from my body.

TIM (& DICK) ACCIDENTALLY START THE BATFAM AU!!!

So. Recently dropped out from college, kicked out of Wayne Manor, and fast tracked through police training Officer Grayson is having a real fucking shit time at the precinct. No one respects him or his deductions or his opinions. Everything sucks ass. His most familiar and longest-living support structure was ripped out from underneath him, he’s broken up and no-contact with anyone he’s ever dated, his Blüdhaven apartment is awful and full of black mold and there’s never enough food to sustain him, his creation of his Nightwing persona is slow-going and the public is reluctant to catch on, there’s a kid hiding under his bed, his partner thinks he’s a total nepo baby even though he has no money and no contacts, and—

There’s a what.

Dick double checks under his bed. Yerp. Sure enough, just hanging out, is a black-haired kid with a raggedy coat and a backpack, just peering back out at him with his big ‘ol eyes.

“What the fuck,” says Dick, before remembering not to swear in front of kids. “...freak.”

The kid scrunches his nose.

Dick doesn’t kick the kid out because, fuck, it’s cold out in November and at least his shitty apartment has heating, but he does tell the kid that this ain’t cool and that if he wasn’t literally in the cops to take most of them down, he wouldn’t let this fly at all. In the morning, the kid skedaddles, and Dick assumes that is that.

Except he’s here the next day.

“What the fuck,” Dick repeats, and commits to the swearing this time.

In the mean time, Tim already knows what swearing is and Is On The Fucking Lamb.

His parents were murdered in their bed on their one week in Gotham for the season, and escaping the same fate had been a lot of sneaking out of the house and hitching a ride on the Gotham city bus and laying low on the streets for the week, keeping only his most important photos, his camera, and a spare set of clothes on him at all times. There had been warnings of upset in the company that Tim had overheard, but he hadn’t expected this. With no safety in Gotham, no money, no food, and no one he knew personally, Tim was Very content with his plan of hiding out under Robin’s (ex-Robin’s?) bed until the murderers are appropriately found. The company can’t be bought, traded, or sold until Tim’s found dead, after all.

So. With a motivation to avoid getting murdered, Tim very rudely ignores Dick Grayson’s attempts to keep him out of his apartment with strategic uses of puppy eyes, lockpicks, and general knowledge of exploits in electronic locks.

“Little monster,” Dick warns, even as he has a plate for Tim in the hand opposite his own, “You can’t hide under my bed forever.”

Tim ducks back further under the frame. Yes he can!!!

It devolves into day-to-day shenanigans from there. Tim never speaks since he knows his Bristol accent is recognizable. Dick suddenly has to juggle his day job, Nightwing, and stopping this little kid with a camera from crawling around this crusty and crime-riddled city all night, just so the squirt can dart into the precinct in the morning with entirely inadmissible evidence of wrongdoing?? JUST managing the baby is part-time job. Fuck. Dick is buying double groceries now. He might actually learn how to cook more than ramen-with-egg.

It’s good that Dick has mastered some kind of weird almost-parent bullshit with the little monster, because overnight one kid under his bed turns into two.

“What the fuck,” says Dick. He tries to reach under his bed, and the new kid tries to get him with a knife. “What?? The fuck??”

“Back off! The shrimp was here first!!” the new kid growls, his street accent thickly prominent.

“This is literally my apartment?!”

“So what? What’re you going to do, call the cops to this shithole?”

“…I’m a cop?!”

Anyway. This new kid is deeply protective of the little monster, and his name is Jay something-something, mind your own fucking business, and Dick’s a little bit grateful because now at least the ten-year-old-monster has backup when he starts darting around town and also is wondering why it’s suddenly his fucking problem that he has to feed two kids he is not related to, and also apparently bailing them out at work when two not-even-pubescent kids get caught breaking and entering at seemingly random places in Bludhaven.

“Fuck off,” says Jay, to a cop, while the more silent kid is busy trying to get a look at evidence on cop desks. Dick watches from his own desk in silent horror.

“Is this yours?” asks Dick’s haggard partner.

“…Sure,” says Dick, to Jay’s clear surprise and suspicion. The monster beams with all of his adorable and also entirely fake innocence, the little shit. Dick bails them out, and then they all have lima beans for dinner as punishment for getting caught. I mean doing illegal things. (I mean getting caught.)

And then Bruce asks if Dick is coming home for Hanukkah.

Dick does not want to come back for Hanukkah.

…But the leftovers would feed the kids, actually. And it’s good food. And free. Maybe he can go for one night and not kill Bruce.

Spoiler: Dick cannot go for one night and not kill Bruce. Dick stomps to the other end of the house, texts Alfred an apology, and makes it all the way back to his car in order to drive home. Dick is on the parkway and on his way back to Bludhaven by the time that the tiny assassin in his car tries to Get Him.

They tussle. Dick only wins because he is An Adult and the assassin is, like, four foot nine.

Anyway. Cass is driven home in an improvised belt-and-dress-shirt restraint and cannot live under the bed, as she has to receive lice treatment. She stays because there is food and also other kids her age.

“Where are you getting all these kids?” Dick’s work partner asks, which is a fair question.

“…Cousins,” Dick lies.

“They live at your place.”

“Until their moms get sober again, yeah, probably,” Dick says, banking on the fact that he looks ethnic enough that no one will question the blatant reference to substance abuse or the basically-still-a-kid raising kids.

No one questions him.

He’s kind of disappointed in them about that.

Jay drops a reference to Crime Alley about this point. “You’re from Gotham?” Dick asks, perplexed. “Then why are you here?? This place sucks ass.”

“I’m in hiding. Duh.”

“From who??” Dick is fully prepared to go Nightwing on someone’s ass.

“Batman,” Jay says, severely. “I stole his tires. And then I hit him with a tire iron.”

Dick gapes. Monster gasps. Cass doesn’t get it, and takes a good heaping of spaghetti off the monster’s plate while he freaks out.

Much cute domestic shenanigans, and then it all goes to shit when the party is crashed by an assassin, who has been paid reasonable amounts of money to kill Timothy Jackson Drake.

Fighting ensues. Jay, who had known everything But the fact that Dick was Nightwing, freaks the fuck out.

"YOU?!"

"Yeah," Dick says, sheepishly, putting the escrima stick back in his pocket. "Uh. Whoops?"

"BUT YOU'RE A COP?!"

"I'm harboring you all, aren't I?" Dick points out, and rightfully so. "Cops do illegal stuff all the time. I literally got you out of trouble for your little B&E adventure in the inner city warehouses last week. If you weren’t fake related to a cop, you’d be in juvie right now for repeat offenses."

Jay, who was pretending that didn't happen and whose face is a bright scarlet, changes the topic. "Why didn't you tell us you were a fucking vigilante, then?? You should have said something?"

Dick points to the under-the-bed monster who has been squatting in his apartment since last year for that exact reason and the mostly mute mini assassin, both of whom had already known this information and said nothing. “I assumed they told you tbh.”

Jay stomps away.

Unfortunately, Tim's plan of hiding in Dick's apartment is no longer safe, and now everyone has to haul ass to move somewhere more secure.

This means needing more money.

This means needing somewhere to hide until a new place can be secured.

…Shit. This means playing nice with Bruce and asking for favors.

Dick does not want to play nice and ask for favors.

…Dick looks at the kid who’s depending on him to protect him from assassination, another orphan with nowhere else to go, and a girl who underwent abusive training and who’s never known a safe space apart from them.

Dick is going to have to get his shit together.

And he will hate it the whole fucking time.

Everyone piles into his early 2000s toyota something and off they drive, one bag each, to the house with the guy who never quite adopted Dick into his family and probably never wants to see him again, based on how literally every time Dick tries to spend time with him, Bruce can’t help but push on every one of his fucking buttons.

From there it’s a slow-churning reconciliation arc, baby! Bruce learns how to actually communicate with his kid, finds out that having the kids around improves his quality of life by 200%, and Alfred gets an early plural grandkid arc. Dick struggles not to take shit personally while they solve the deaths of the Drakes, Tim breaks his leg falling off of a place he Should Not have been, and Jason continues to learn that protecting others isn’t the same as genuine vulnerability and intimacy, and that he has value, and Cass learns that although she hates killing, she loves fighting, and using that for good isn’t bad.

Reasons I will never write this fic:

Too long!! I would never get it done in a reasonable time frame, and I can’t commit right now.

I actually…writing mysteries bores me. Sometimes actual mysteries bore me. I couldn’t execute this the way I would want it to be read. I’d give up. (Or, you know, I technically already have?)

In-betweens between the action scenes are too vague. They’re not solid in my head in the way I would want them to be if I was writing this.

This entire fic was premised under the basis of Dick looking under his bed and finding a twelve year old Tim Drake. I wanted some good old fashioned Tim & Dick bonding that wasn’t Red Hood based, since it’s still one of the most prominent tropes in their ‘&’ relationship tag.

Want to use any of this…? Go nuts. Or don’t. This has been exorcised from my body. I am now free.

#dc #batfam #dick grayson #tim drake #cass cain #dcu #Bruce Wayne (derogatory) #free to a good home

[4dznsalamanders]

So I, like everyone else, am shaking the bars of my cage trying to understand what the hell 4Dawgz is DOING We've gotten a couple of wild facts for her character this episode and last weeks: 1) absolutely hates Riz SPECIFICALLY for some reason, despite him consistently being the most respectful towards her (he actually tries to say her name proper) 2) she has a lot of anger towards the Bad Kids (and Riz), and 3) she was very casual killing Buddy Dawn, even though that doesn't immediately help her... admittedly, it does threaten the Bad Kids by removing revivify, but homegirl saw Gorgug soloing a purple worm, Adaine being untouchable, Fig smiting as if she's been a paladin for years, and The Ball absolutely rocking this fight, Fabian was there, all while Kristin was being pretty conservative and prioritizing heal spells, so KipKettle has no reason to believe the Bad Kids are in true mortal peril. What does this all mean? Well, idk about you, but Kipper's absolute inexplicable rage, combined with a bunch of other weird minutia, has me pondering the Time Quangle again, and the fact the Bad Kids DID do some minor chronomancy pre-shrimp jump, I think we have more time shenanigans to go... ESPECIALLY since that girlfailure found the rogue teacher at 8:01 am, I agree with some of the theories I've seen suggesting she's stuck in a time loop. I think she hates Riz because he is consistently the one realizing, connecting the dots, and ultimately the driving force that thwarts her in her scheme, forcing her to do another loop. Her complete contempt might look unreasonable, but maybe she's been trying to complete her task for YEARS, stuck in highschool because some random hot goblin kid can't ever mind his own business. I've been sympathetic to the "BLeeM would never have such a blatant BBEG like this, there has to be a twist" crowd, and I think FishFlower RedPan callously murdering her party cleric DOES NOT negate this - as far as she's concerned, he might be the 57th Buddy Dawn she's met, so why would she care when this loop will probably fail again? If this theory is anything substantial, she literally has nothing to lose, because she can just start over again? Anyone would appear irrational and be incapable of seeing an unbiased perspective, so of course she would claim things aren't fair: she's witnessed the same group of clowns dunk on her repeatedly in every iteration. Why bother doing unique adventures that are unpredictable when you can be the RatGrinders and have the same base slate with less chaos to try and enact your grand plan?

#fhjy #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 #this is my first unique post after leaving reddit sorry if format is bad #possibly shes just tryna pull an aguefort and no clip into heaven with Buddy Dawn #love the theorycrafters being proven right with the concerns that Buddy was a sacrificial lamb tho because yikes #still no idea what her motives are for this but like idk #still hope we get flaming gay Buddy Dawn becoming a cleric of Ankarna when he gets over being dead #time quangle

[mushyblushyredhead]

Cure For a Bad Day—MCU

No thots. Just a silly fluffy Irondad thought I had to turn into a story. :3 If you don’t like, don’t read. But if you’re here for Irondad fluff or just fluffy Marvel tickles, then come on in! OvO

Word Count: 5,000

Summary: After a rough week of school mishaps, Peter starts to doubt his future at being a good student and even being Spider-Man. It’s up to Tony Stark to remind Peter he’s still worth it, and bring back his mentor’s favorite smile. (This is a tickle fic duh, purely platonic)

Lee! Peter

Ler! Tony

If there was one thing Peter Parker was good at, was multitasking. How many other teens could juggle the responsibilities of high school while fighting crime almost every night in the not-so-friendly-neighborhood, and still manage to finish their homework on time for the next day?

Somehow he was able to do both.

But like any other student, he had his challenges. Like today, for example. Peter was in the middle of trying to finish a lab report essay for chemistry class. He was pretty stressed out, as he hadn’t had so much time to work on it for the past three weeks stopping midnight crimes and shenanigans almost four nights a week.

Now, here he was, hunched over at his desk, typing away at his laptop attempting to finish his lab report that was due tomorrow. He was mid-paragraph, stuck on page three out of the required five.

Normally, Peter would rack his science loving brain and throw something together quick, but tonight was different. He was having trouble figuring out more words and what to say in the report.

His eyes were starting to hurt from staring at his computer screen so long. His spine ached from being hunched over like a shrimp in his chair for hours. And his stomach growled; he had skipped dinner and was insistent with himself that he could have time to eat after he got his report done.

He looked at his bedside clock. 10:37pm. Oh come on! I’ll have to go to bed soon and I’m not even close to being done.

Peter sighed. Sometimes, his full time job being Spider-Man could really put a dent into his student life.

There was a knock at his door. “Peter? You alright?” the soft voice of his Aunt asked.

“I’m okay, Aunt May,” Peter stifled a yawn. “Just finishing up homework.”

“You said you were finishing up two hours ago.”

“Well this time, I mean it. I am almost done.”

“Alright if I come in?”

“Yeah. Go ahead.”

The sight of her tired, stressed, hunched over nephew saddened May. “Oh, Peter, you’ve been at that science report of yours all afternoon. Why not call it a night and get some rest?”

“I can’t,” Peter’s eyes stayed glued to his screen. The blinking curser that sat there unmoving for hours seemed to mock him. “I have to finish this tonight. This thing is worth a lot of my grade this semester.”

“Hmm, okay how about this?” May offered. “I’ll let you knock off school tomorrow, and send a note to your teachers that you’re out sick. It’ll give you an extra day to finish your report.” Her lips ruled into a soft grin. “Maybe after that, you and I can head off to the mall and buy you some more of those Squishables things you secretly like.”

Normally, Peter would laugh and jokingly say what a bad influence she was letting him cut school like that. But tonight, he didn’t even crack a smile. “No thanks. I’ll get this done before I go to sleep. Shouldn’t be much longer.”

Aunt May saw that tonight would be one of those nights where Peter wouldn’t budge out of his zombie induced state. So she decided to let him be. “Alright then,” she sighed. “Just please don’t stay up past midnight. I don’t want to get another phone call saying you slept through class and other kids decided to draw on your face.”

“Yeah, will do.”

And with that, she shut the door.

Peter rubbed his eyes with a sigh. “C’mon…c’mon…gotta finish. Ugh! Why can’t I finish?” The teen was just about to give up and call it quits when the hairs on the back of his neck and arms stood out on end. His Spidey tingle was going off!

Despite feeling achy and sluggish, he quickly stood up and tore off his clothes, slipping into his Spider-Man costume. He pulled his mask over his face and was about to jump out the window when he stopped himself.

Aunt May might come back to check if I really did go to sleep. Dang it! Ok uhh…oh wait! That’ll work!

Peter grabbed some day old clothes off the floor and shoved them under his blanket, pushing them into a sort of Peter-shaped lump. Hopefully, if his aunt came to check on him she wouldn’t look too closely.

Grabbing his phone, he hopped off the windowsill and swung out into the night.

By the time Peter managed to sneak back into his room through the window, he was exhausted. He felt like he was about to pass out as soon as he stepped into his bedroom.

He flopped onto his bed, lifting his Spidey mask off his sweaty face. He didn’t have the energy to take off his costume just yet. He was so tired.

He had stopped a home break-in coordinated by three criminals. Normally, a crime like a break-in was child’s play to Peter. But after spending the whole week fighting off crime and running on four hours of sleep, and topped with the stress of his recent assignment, Spider-Man suddenly didn’t have the energy to do a lot of fighting tonight.

His web-shooting was uncoordinated, one punch nearly knocked him out, and he appeared to be wobbly when he landed.

Even the criminals seemed to noticed how he wasn’t putting much of a fight, and taunted him while having their weapons pointed at the sleepy hero.

Peter barely managed to stop those three criminals, and earned himself a bruise on his jaw and knee. So by the time the boy made it home, the clock read 1:55am.

Peter wanted to scream in frustration. Well there goes another sleepless night, he thought as he quietly stripped himself out of his Spidey suit and grabbed a T-shirt from his floor pile.

He cringed as his brain calculated the few hours of sleep he would be getting again.

The next day at school turned out to be so much worse. First, Peter was late to his first class due to him sleeping through his many alarms he set for that morning. Next, he ended up forgetting his lunch—and even emergency lunch money—from rushing to get ready earlier. And then, as if that wasn’t enough to put him in a bad mood, he completely forgot about his lab report.

His stomach churned as he heard the teacher announce for everyone to hand in their reports to the front.

“Peter?” The voice of his best friend made him whip around.

“What is it, Ned?”

“What’s up with you?” Ned asked in a hushed whisper. “You look like you haven’t slept in a month, and you’re acting way jittery than normal.” Ned’s eyes widened. “Is it the spider sense?! Is there danger somewhere right now? Do you need me to come up with an excuse so you can get out of here?”

Peter could barely register his friend’s overlapping questions. “No, Ned, I don’t need anything. And it’s not that. I just…” he sighed, burying his face into his sweater covered arms. “Trouble in the neighborhood late at night, and I completely forgot to finish my lab report.”

“What?!” Ned whisper-shouted. “Y’know normally I’d scold you like your aunt does, but you look like you’ve been through enough already.” He put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Need me to make up some excuse? Save your skin at least a little?”

Peter shook his head miserably. “No point. I’m screwed enough as is here. Total failure.”

“Are you su—“

Their conversation was interrupted by the teacher snapping at them. “Parker? Your report, please.”

Uneasiness filled Peter’s stomach again. It felt borderline nauseous. He slowly walked up to the front desk. “I uh…don’t really have it physically with me right now.” He pointed towards his lab table. “I-It’s on my laptop.”

“Trouble printing it out?” The teacher asked.

“Something like that.” Peter could feel his cheeks growing warm.

The teacher sighed with a head shake. “Well then if you email it to me in the next three minutes, I’ll still give you credit. But next time, Peter, make sure you are able to find a reliable printing source ahead of time when you’re printing your reports. Don’t just try to print them last minute, that’s when these incidents happen.”

“Yes, of course.” Peter swallowed dryly as he shuffled back to his table. His fingers trembled as he opened his laptop, the unfinished pages of his lab report staring back at him. It felt like a punch to the gut. Well…something is better than nothing, right?

After school, the poor exhausted teen wanted nothing more than to go home, face plant onto his bed, and hope his mattress would swallow him up.

He was surprised to see a text message from Happy on his phone screen. Meet at the Avenger’s facility right after school. Your ride is waiting for you out front. New missions are heading your way. :) -Happy

New mission? That perked Peter up a little. At least he could forget about school for the weekend. Sulking in his room would have to wait. Right now, he was curious as to what sort of new mission awaited him at the Avengers’ headquarters!

The car trip didn’t take so much time. It did, however, leave the boy to replay the events that had just happened prior. He slumped in his seat. Suddenly, a new mission with the Avengers didn’t seem to excite him anymore.

Why can’t I just be more responsible? Peter bitterly asked himself. The other Avengers are able to juggle their normal lives and jobs and still manage to fight bad guys all without breaking a sweat. Heck, even Mr. Stark can do it. So why can’t I? *sigh* Am I really that bad of a student? What’s my future going to look like if I can’t even make it through high school?

Ugh! Why is your entire self worth and future determined by one stupid grade?!

Upon arrival, Peter didn’t seem as starry-eyed or ecstatic anymore. At least, that was the noticeable vibe Tony Stark noticed with his young mentee. He, in fact, looked in bad shape. Dark rings circled under his eyes, he looked disheveled like he had been sleeping under a bridge the whole week, and he seemed very anxious. Not the typical anxious-excitement Peter normally projected whenever he heard any mention of a potential new mission.

Tony wrapped an arm around the silently depressed teen. “So how goes it, kid? Survived another week of school?”

Peter scoffed. “Just barely.”

“I hear ya. But hey, cheer up. It looks like a certain web-slinging hero will be tagging along on more serious world-saving missions with the rest of us. Now how’s that upgrade for your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?”

The boy merely shrugged. “I guess it could be good for my rep. So long as I don’t screw anything up again.”

“Hey, look. You just made a couple mistakes, underoos. It happens to all of us when we’re starting out as heroes. But this a fresh start; a chance to really show the others and the world that your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man protects more than just the neighborhood and supermarkets. He protects the world, too.” He gave Peter’s shoulder a shake.

“Okay,” Peter said with a small sigh. Oh how he wished he could get back to sulking in his room right about now.

Tony started to grow more worried about his mentee that afternoon. He assumed the kid had a bad day at school or was simply tired after a long week, but this seemed much worse.

Peter didn’t go on mini gush-rants about random things. He didn’t spit out any science jokes or puns. He didn’t even quote any old movies. Peter Parker always quoted his vintage iconic quips and lines. It was like his second vocabulary—first vocabulary being talking in only Star Wars lines.

Something was really wrong. And Stark was not going to wait around any longer to find out.

When Tony finally found Peter, he was sitting upside down from the corner of the ceiling, the hood of his sweater almost covering his face, earbuds in and mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

“Peter?”

Said teen took his earbuds out. His gaze softened when he met eyes with his mentor. “Oh, hey Mr. Stark. What brings you here?”

“That’s just what I want to ask you, kid. What are you doing up there by yourself?”

Peter shrugged. “Bored.”

“Bored?! In the freakin’ Avengers’ facility?”

“Well, sorry. Guess I’m just a little too tired today.”

He’s trying to avoid my question, Tony thought. “A better question would be, why have you been moping around since you got here? Happy even said that you were so quiet in the car ride here. No offense, kid, but you’re never the quiet type. Especially around Happy. So what gives?”

The boy averted his game. “Nothing. It’s nothing. Just tired like I said. Y’know, keeping the neighborhood safe almost every night really drains your energy.”

“Cut the charades, kid,” Tony said firmly. “I wanna know what’s up with you. I’ve known you long enough to know that even with your nighttime gig as Spider-Man, you somehow always have enough energy to set Happy’s blood pressure spiraling, and annoy the rest of the Avengers with your weird vine refreshes and those picture things you call memes.”

Peter averted his gaze. How could he tell his mentor and biggest idol all the crappy events that took place that week? It wasn’t like it was a serious topic. It was just his own failure to be responsible.

“I don’t know,” he answered quietly.”

“Hmm…let me guess. Trouble at school?”

Peter looked up.” Maybe?”

“Alright, give me names here. A description of the punk. Who’s organs do I have to obliterate?”

“What? No, no, no, it’s not like that, Mr. Stark,” Peter quickly objected. “It’s just…rough days at school is all. And my student life.”

“I see. Want to come down from there and talk about it? I’ll have Happy make us some hot chocolate.”

“Alright.”

The warm hot chocolate was very comforting. After the long harsh week of events, a hot comforting drink was just what Peter needed. And it helped ease the hesitance he had earlier so he was able to come clean about what had happened.

“Wow,” Tony said, finally breaking the silence. “It sounds like the week really treated you terribly.”

“Tell me about it.” Peter fixed his gaze on his cup.

“Hey, listen, kid. You just had a bad week. Things will get better. You gotta believe that.”

The teen hero frowned. “How do you know I won’t keep failing? I’ve been screwing up nonstop this entire week. And even when I try to do better, everything always turns out worse. It’s like the universe hates me because I’m Spider-Man.”

Before Tony could respond, Peter kept talking. “And its so dumb, too. This whole situation. I’m sitting here whining about something that could’ve been avoidable if I had been a more responsible student. There’s no one to blame but me. And look at you, Mr. Stark. If you were in my shoes, you wouldn’t be a failing student just because you’re Ironman. I just want to do better, but I don’t feel like I can. And I know the school system doesn’t believe I can either.”

“Hey now, don’t say that,” Tony protested. “You’re a brilliant kid, Peter. Yes, you’re going to hit roadblocks along the way with your full time gig as Spider-Man and as a full time student, but you’re going to be fine. You just need a little encouragement. When you’re out there saving the neighborhood and face-to-face with an enemy that makes you feel like it’s hopeless, I’ve noticed that you never back down. No matter how difficult it is. This right here isn’t any different.

And if the crappy school system that’s been putting too much pressure on their students and treating them like garbage doesn’t believe in you, I do. I believe you can do it, Peter. You’re so much stronger than you think you are.”

Peter almost wanted to tear up at the words his mentor was telling him. Damn, he really was good at this inspirational uplifting speech thing. Maybe even better than Captain America.

He couldn’t stop the tears, though. He had been feeling so emotional this entire week and after hearing Tony freakin’ Stark rant about how he was worth it despite everything he was feeling, Peter really needed to let some tears out.

Seeing the boy’s eyes fill with tears made Tony panic. Had he made the kid feel worse with his words? “Oh god, are you alright? Did i go too far with that?”

Peter let out a breathy laugh. “No, no, you’re good.” He sniffed, and wiped his tears with his sweater sleeve. “Sorry I got emotional back there. Your uplifting speech just got me teary-eyed. Thanks, Mr. Stark. I guess I really needed to hear that.”

Tony gave the teen’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Anytime, kiddo. Glad I could help. Now, I do want to help out with your school problem a little so you’re not feeling traumatized Monday morning.”

The boy tilted his head like a curious puppy. “Huh? What do you mean help out?”

“Well I sort of did a little research on what your next assignments for the week are going to be on for your classes. And I took the liberty to have FRIDAY complete next week’s assignments so you’ll have the entire week off to not worry about your homework.”

“You…wait, are you saying that you had FRIDAY hack into my teachers’ lesson plans and did all my homework for me?!”

Tony nodded, stirring his half drunk mug with a spoon. “Yup. Your homework’s done with all the right answers so it’ll guarantee to bring your grades back up to an A+.” He paused. “Well, an A- to make it seem like you did it.”

Peter didn’t know if he should feel grateful or disbelief. “I-I…thank you? I guess?”

Tony smirked. “What, that’s it? I do you a favor here so you can have the week off. You can have more time to focus on your web-slinging career, or use the extra time to take a nap in home room, or stare at girls more between classes.”

Peter blushed at that last comment. “Okay, fine. Thank you, Mr. Stark. I really appreciate it.” For the first time that week, Peter smiled. A genuine warm smile. Then his face melted to concern. “Wait…do you think that it’s cheating?”

“Uhh….nah,” Tony assured him with a wave of his hand. “Hey, as long as it gets you the grades you deserve. Besides, you aren’t even going to use 90% of the crap they teach you in school. You’re gonna forget it immediately anyways.”

Peter giggled, covering his mouth with his sleeve. “Oh my god, Mr. Stark. You’re just as a bad influence as May.”

“Good! Maybe you can learn something here about all the shortcuts and loopholes to high school.”

“There are noho loopholes or shortcuhuhuts to high school!”

“Hell yeah there are! How do you think I got to where I am today?” Tony gestured to himself. “You think all of this happened by being a full time student? No way. High school did nothing to help me be who I am today. All it did was give me anxiety, student debt, and unrealistic expectations on what I needed to thrive in the real world. Oh yeah, high school teaches you nothing on how to adult or pay your bills. But hey, at least they teach you that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, right?”

Peter could not stop his giggles anymore. His giggles turned to laughter, and even while trying to muffle them through his sleeves, Tony could see the corner of his smile and the blush that dusted his cheeks.

It was always so easy to make the kid laugh, and Tony always liked to take advantage of it every time.

“Y-You’re terrihihible, Mr. Stark!” Peter said through his bright laughter. “A bahahad influence! Y-You’re even worse thahahn Loki!”

“Excuuuuse me?!” Tony pretended to be offended. He sat up, scraping the chair back, which made Peter’s eyes widen in alarm.

“Wait, no!” Peter surprised Tony by flipping onto the ceiling. “Don’t—Don’t tickle me, Mr. Stark!” Peter had had enough recent experience knowing what that look meant every time Tony got up from his seat. Having his own mentor know of his one dreaded weakness—the fact that he was insanely ticklish—and using that to mess with him anytime he got depressed or a little too snarky always flustered him to bits.

Tony grinned up at the spider teen on the ceiling. “Huh? Tickle you? Now why on earth would I do that? Oh right, because your ticklishness got dialed up to eleven from the spider bite. Isn’t that what you told me?”

Peter’s blush darkened. “S-Stop saying that so casually! I now what you’re up to!”

“Hey, I’m not up to anything. And honestly, I wasn’t going to tickle you.” A sinister smirk spread across his mentor’s face. “But since that was the first thought that crossed your mind…”

Peter’s tummy did fluttery flip flops. “Oh c’mon!! Mr. Stark nohoho! Dohohon’t you dare!”

“Too late. FRIDAY, a little help?”

“Yep. On it.”

The poor flustered teen squealed in alarm as one of Tony’s Ironman suits came flying over to him, trying to pry him off the ceiling. It was surprisingly easy, as Peter was already too giggly and flustered to concentrate on his sticking to the ceiling.

With Peter off the ceiling, he was dumped ungracefully onto the floor in front of Tony where the Iron suit immediately grabbed and pinned the kid’s wrists above his head.

“What the—FRIDAY you traitohohor!” Peter squawked. He pulled on his wrists, internally pouting that his spider strength wasn’t working in that moment.

“Hey now, don’t you insult FRIDAY,” Tony playfully scolded with a poke to the boy’s stomach. Peter squeaked at the touch. “We’re just here to help you out. I know how rough it’s been with school lately, and I don’t want to lose my underoos just because of that. You’ve been real upset ever since you got here and I know you’ve been upset all week. So no more of that now. You should know the Avengers’ facility is a no-sadness zone!”

And with that said, Tony right away scribbled both hands into his kid’s belly, making Peter screech.

“EeeAAAHAAaahahaaa! HeHEHE—Heyyyy! No faHAHAhahair!” Peter thrashed and kicked, instinctively trying to pull his arms down to no avail. “Mr. Stahahark! Nohoho pleasHEEAheeheehease!”

“Sorry, no can do, kiddo,” Tony casually answered over his mentee’s squeaky laughter. “I haven’t seen my underoos’ favorite smile in forever so I’m making up for lost time!”

“B-But nohohot like tha—HAAAHA! Heheheyyy!” Peter arched his back as Tony’s fingers crept up to his ribs. His blush now spread to the tips of his ears. He was cursing internally at how his Spidey strength was suddenly no longer there as he was laughing like a maniac.

Any other intense situation, Spider-Man would be able to easily get himself out of, but this was different. The ticklish sensations buzzing throughout his nervous system plus all his laughing was sapping any strength he had left, including his spider strength.

As Tony let his fingers inch closer to the teen’s underarms, he was playfully shocked when Peter tried to bite him. He pulled his hands back with a gasp.

“Whoa! What the heck was that?! What are you, a biting tarantula now?”

“You were getting too close to my armpits!” Peter shot back.

“Ohhhh I see.” Tony flashed him an evil grin that reminded Peter of that creepy, murderous knife-hiding doll from that 80s movie that always came back from the dead. “That’s your death spot, isn’t it?”

Peter shifted uncomfortably, his blush darkening. “N-No..?”

“Wrong answer.”

“AAAAAAHHERRHWHRHFEAAHAAAAAHAAAHA!! No Mr. Stahahahark!! NAAAHAHAHAO!!” Peter squirmed like a fish out of water, his body instinctively trying to twist away from Tony’s evil scribbling fingers. But no matter which way he turned, it didn’t help much. Tony’s fingers seemed glued to his hollows.

“EEEEAAAAHEHEEHHAAAA!! M-MR STAHAHARK!! IT…IHIHIT REALLY TIHIHAHAHA TIHIHICKLES BAAAAHAHAHD!!”

“That’s the point, kiddo! It’s more—whoa! You are just extra kicky today, aren’t you? FRIDAY, a little help here?”

“NOOOHOHOHO!”

Tony and FRIDAY had switched places; FRIDAY grabbing ahold of Peter’s flailing legs while Tony grabbed the boy’s wrists in one hand. Even as the two switched places, Tony couldn’t help but notice how Peter wasn’t putting up a fight to get away. He could’ve easily gotten up and bolted the second they let go of his limbs, or curl up with his arms wrapped around his torso so they couldn’t bring his arms up anymore, but he just laid there with a silly smile and blushy cheeks. Almost as if he secretly wanted this to keep going.

Tony had to ask the billion dollar question. “Y’know Pete, despite all your complaints, you’re not even putting up a fight to stop me or FRIDAY. Could it be because…you actually like this? You like getting tickled?”

Peter fell silent. He looked anywhere but his mentor’s eyes. He opened his mouth to answer but all that came out was stutters and keyboard smashes.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Really? Look, I’m barely holding down your arms here and you’re not even trying to get away!” Peter’s face felt like was on fire now. “You know you can easily break out of my grip—even FRIDAY’s—and hightail it outta here, buuuut…I’m starting to think you don’t want to. Am I right or what?”

“I-I…” was all that came out of Peter’s mouth. Finally, he sighed and locked eyes with his mentor. His flustered, trembling lip suddenly curled into a crap-eating grin. With a defiant smirk, Peter stuck his tongue out. “Bite me, old man!”

Tony’s mouth formed a perfect O. Oh the kid was so asking for it! Recovering in a millisecond, Tony cracked his knuckled for dramatic effect. “That’s it! You’re finished, kid! You know I’m sensitive about my age!”

Peter actually had the nerve to stick his tongue out at him again.

Okay, so maybe truthfully he didn’t want this playful attack to cease. It was a great stress reliever after the rough week he endured. And if Peter wanted to dig a little deeper into it, while he was being tickled to pieces and screeching at frequencies only dogs should hear, he couldn’t think of all the bad things that had happened—his lab report incident, academic pressure, or even any general insecurities he had as Peter Parker and Spider-Man.

All he could think about in the heat of the moment was the playful ticklish feeling, the waves of dopamine, and the pure fun bonding vibe. So despite all the squealing and squirming, Peter was genuinely having fun. He’d be bummed if Tony stopped so soon. So he had to provoke his mentor some more to keep the fun going.

And that’s just what he did.

Oh, but if only FRIDAY hadn’t been traitorous enough to actually look up other sorts of tickling methods and suggest them to Tony to use against Peter.

“W-Wait! Wahahahit!! NonononoAAAAAAHAHAHEEHEHAHAAAA!! EEEEEHHAAAHAEHE!! THAT FEEHEEHEEHEELS AHAHA—AWFUFUFUL!! *snort* NAAAAAAHEHEAAHAAAAHAHAAA!!”

“Did you just snort, kid?!”

“N-Nohoho!! Shuhuhut uhuhup!! AAAAH! Waitwaitwait!! I tahahahake it baHAAAAAAHAHAAAAA!!”

Better hope that none of the Avengers nor his enemies finds out about Spider-Man’s adorable little weakness.

#sfw tickling community #tickle fic #tickle fluff #spiderman tickle #spiderman #marvel tickle #marvel #peter parker #tony stark #lee!peter #ler!tony #this was so much fun #eeeee <3 #mushy writes stuff

[radioactive-earthshine]

Tell me more about the Tim shrimp fic! 😆

This is so stupid but here you go.

A couple of months ago I got excited when someone was talking about a "Tim Drake Shrimp Fic" and I immediately thought it might be some fun shenanigans involving Tim being turned into a shrimp but instead it was excessively fanon garbage where his parents force-fed him shrimp because he was allergic.

I was so disappointed I immediately blocked out my OWN Tim Shrimp Fic where Klarion turns Tim into a shrimp and Young Justice has deal with him.

Moments include;

Bart panicking because their friend got turned into a shrimp and DON'T THEY BREATHE WATER? Cue Bart racing (at the panicked orders of Kon and Cassie) to the ocean where he THROWS him into the depths.

He realizes his mistake almost immediately.

They all start panicking because not only is Tim a fucking shrimp, but now he's in the ocean at the mercy of whatever predates on fucking shrimps.

They call in Aqualad to help find him.

They make a habitat for him because what else can they DO for him while he is a shrimp?

They finally pin Klarion down to get him to try and reverse the spell but Klarion just shrugs and says "It's a timed spell, he'll revert back eventually!"

"WHEN?"

"Anywhere between two days and two decades! I cannot remember which >:3c"

Fortunately for all of them it was only two weeks.

Other memorable moments include Bart commenting that Shrimp!Tim "Looks just like Tim!" and Kon and Cassie struggling to see it.

Tim finally understands what shrimp emotions are.

#not putting this in his tag nope #shrimp!tim

[tulipe-rose]

Skk shenanigans:

Dazai wore those little things that gave you a height boost inside his shoes during his Port Mafia days, and every few weeks, he'd increase the size slightly. He'd wait for Chūya to eventually realize so he could enjoy his internal struggle.

Chūya would notice a few months in, and would just look at Dazai one day, and be like:

Chūya: Your proportions are... off. Why are you 5'11? Weren't you like 5'4 or something a few months ago???

Dazai: What would a little shrimp like you know about height? I finally hit my growth spurt, unlike some red headed slugs I know.

Chūya would chase after him for that one, and before long one of Dazai's shoes slip off making him loose balance, and face-plant straight onto the curb. Chūya just looks at him for a solid ten seconds, before shifting his attention to the stuffed shoes, then back at him. Chūya looks like he'd won the lottery.

Chūya: *Kettle noises* You should see yourself *wheeze*

Dazai: help what would he say omg y'all someone help

Later that day, Chūya ended up taking Dazai's shoes after Dazai made a mocking comment about his hat, forcing Dazai to walk home (aka his shipping container) with barely socks on his feet, mumbling something about idiotic dogs. He didn't get them back to him to this day, and Chūya still smiles victoriously whenever he sees them on the far corner of his shoe rack.

#saff-ron tag #writers on tumblr #dumb and dumber #bsd #bsd hc #hc #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #platonic skk #bsd skk #skk headcanons

[bittersweetresilience]

sunny's favorite asukiess creations

hearth (18,589 words)

Because how do you describe a dream once you wake up, when it’s fleeting and slipping through the cracks in your mind like it’s a sieve? You can barely wrap your lips around the concepts and words before you realize it has slipped through like water, and what lay in your hands is just a pang in your chest? When every moment away from it clouds your mind just a little more, until the memories are threadbare? or: Adrien understands what it means to have a home.

Back when I first met Autumn I was on a reading spree and I saved this fic for last and it just completely stunned me. I remember whipping out a textbox page to annotate for my comment, and that's what kicked off insanely long commenter™ Sunny. No matter what Autumn says! This! Is! My! Favorite! Autumn! Fic! At least until I see the secret one she won't let me see... but no, it will always be special to me.

the secrets we keep (14,661 words)

In the wake of a summer that Adrien never wanted to end, all that he wishes to push away comes back to haunt him when the school years starts again: self-doubt from identities that feel no more real than anything else; ghosts of parents who still talk to him; and most all, a fear that the people he loves will leave him in time, too. however, maybe the person who can relate most to him is the one he's never far from.

The best memories of reading this fic as Autumn wrote it and chatting about it and being teased with every Félix mention and being in love with her mind forever and always... if you've ever liked an asukiess meta post or idea post you'll love this. Combination of all of those beautiful things.

wip i saw as of yesterday

Perhaps premature to put it on this list but I have to include it because it was a taste of AUTUMN ORIGINAL WRITING!!!!!!!! AUTUMN ORIGINAL CHARACTERS!!!!!!!! And theater kid Autumn, too. Autumn could be published... Autumn could do anything... if those fools don't get it I'll start my own Autumn publishing company...

switching shenanigans (1,337 words)

Félix.............. first Autumn Félix.............................

felinette fics

FERAL EXPLODE BOOM DECEASED GRAVE HEADSTONE FIRE HOUSE EMOJIS

The art piece whose WIP inspired a fic out of me which was Autumn and my friendship's origin story... FUCKING NATHALIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I accept this. Such a drop dead gorgeous piece.

The most insane fic ever with the most insane fic art ever... WITNESS!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EEEEEEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOTIOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love how much Autumn loves this piece, every time she reblogs it it makes me happy. Get some horror in this Felinette tonight.

POLAROIDS I LOVE THEM. LOVEYBUG AU WEEK I LOVE YOU

Can you even function after looking at this. They. Shrimping.

HE'S EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This is criminally underrated... Look At Him. HIS FUCKING BUNNY

I ran out of link blocks but I also wanted to share Unrequited. HAMBDS.

AND AUTUMN'S SUPER SECRET LOVEYBUG ZINE WIP

AUTUMN AND HER CLASSICS!!!!!!!!!! AUTUMN AND HER HUMONGOUS BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I worship this. It's all Autumn, I just helped with images.

Okay, I was slightly more involved with this one, but Autumn's contributions literally made it 1 billion times better and I will forever cherish the memory.

Hnwhnfhwnfjgnhsnghsnhsfshwhgwnhgwghgh... Emilie...

autumn's felinette and adrifelinette thoughts

Just in general. I am so lucky.

autumn's friendship

I scrolled through our pinned messages and almost cried laughing...

#🏮 #miraculous ladybug #HAPPY... i love autumn asukiess

[tunabesimpin]

"Tuna's got a beach party goin'? Sweet~" Eugenio said. "Dunno if Tsunotaru wants to go if I invite him, but just in case, I might wanna check if Sam's got some shrimp-colored swim trunks...Since I guess that's what I am to Floyd 'n he's gonna call me that the whole time." They had the passing thought to invite Albert, but it seemed he and Jade went out for a hiking trip that had been planned for a couple weeks. Tidus, though, would never miss an opportunity to hang out and observe what humans did for beach activities. Octavinelle seemed to have, for those needing, a dorm-colored set of trunks available, so when he didn't feel like swimming in his whale shark form, he had something to wear. "They have such interesting games and traditions! I'd have to look up where, but I heard some have a blindfolded watermelon smashing contest, 'Suikawari' I think it was called. I just wanna watch-I think I'd obliterate it on accident if I went all out. ^///^"

---

Despite inviting malleus along, it didn't take long for Eugenio to get separated and dragged off into some shenanigans. Grim, Ace and Deuce were already dragging him off into the sea to play.

It should've been obvious from the smirk on Aces face that he had something planned, but when doesn't he? It started out fine and dandy, the trio simply messing around with Yuu making use of the water guns lying around. Yet as they dipped farther off shore, something in the water seemed to shift.

The only warning sigh was a long shadow cast below the surface, but by the time Yuu realized Ace was swimming away, it was too late. "BAH~!" Floyd luanched out of the water lifting Yuu straight in the air. The hangtime wasn't long as Floyd quickly tossed Yuu back down into the water.

Meanwhile Tidus had caught sight of the whole event. Distant yelling at Ace was enough of a distraction to not see where the eelmer disappear to. Even if he wasn't the target, Tidus was not gonna stick around this close if it meant getting dunked!

---

AAAA THANK YOU FOR COMIN TO THE PARTY TRINKET!!! For some reason my brain didn't register Malleus until it was too late ToT so i hope a floyd centric story works too!! Idk if its in his character so i didnt write it, but i think it'd be funny if Tidus joined Floyd in bein silly, maybe he'd make giant splashes on unsuspecting friend XD!

#tuna be talkin #the-trinket-witch #tunasseasidesq #event request #twst fanevent #twst #twisted wonderland #twst fanart #twst oc #floyd leech #twst floyd

[zedecksiew]

HEART OF THE GOD-IN-PIECES

A murdered god, a hollow in the world, home to shrimp and moths; monks warring termite hordes.

6/2 - 12/2 #dungeon23

Technically not a dungeon. Still: caves! Lit by a glowing underground sun, that is also the egg of a world-ending thing.

A subterranean region under the coastal one from January, and the remainder of the parts of the God-In-Pieces. I still can't write mega-dungeons, but I can bluff my way into some semblance of continuity!

Was pleased with the egg-heart that has a war-god gestating inside---it's an apocalypse clock that ticks according whatever shenanigans (particularly violences) you get up to in the wider world.

Also pleased with the image of the pit with a set of teeth just visible in it. And that it is an oracle that lies---but lies predictably, so still functions as an oracle if you are persistent.

(Miffed I made a mistake in the text, though! First time I had to cross shit out, this entire #dungeon23 ... I was so careful, dammit!)

Had trouble posing the cavern-body. Wanted a foetal position, but I tried and tried and couldn't get him laid out in a way that wasn't a bitch to draw.

Finally surrendered to the classic hanged-man pose. But it is the right one, ultimately. Suitably portentous.

Still poor at illustrative composition, I feel? But the line-work appears to flow better, easier, maybeee~~~???

Still having fun.

+

#dungeon23 thing I loved this week: The Garden, by W L Denning. I came for the hogmunculi; I stayed for the wonderful little puzzles each room presents.

#dungeon23 #writing #fantasies #pangolins #gods #eggs #termites #shrimp #cincalok

[frolics-dannilions]

Genshin High School Shenanigans

Death Creeps In

When Xiao was about to bring Zhongli's wallet to his new workplace, he stumbles upon the creepy girl of his school, Hu Tao, who happens to be the director of the place Zhongli's working. With this weird meeting, the two started to make a weird friendship with each other.

Content warning: none

Tags: modern au, high school, fluff

Pairing: Hu Tao x Xiao (HuXiao)

Part: 8

—

Xiao doesn't know why he's there not does he even realizes the reason he agreed to it. His spirit feels like it's somewhere else as Xiangling comes back with more dumplings and vegetables. His bowl is luckily to be filled with the delicious broth for the hotpot since Chongyun is kind enough to get him one.

"Are Aether and Lumine coming?" Xiangling asks while stuffing the boiling pot with the other ingredients whereas Xingqiu is stirring the soup.

Looking down and opening her chats, Hu Tao quickly sends a message to both twins while her eyes slowly trailing to the male in front of her, looking down at his fiddling hands with the bowl. "Is something bothering you?" She asks. Xiao looks at her with a bit of uncertainty, biting his lips and eyes darting around the table. It is quite obvious that he's nervous being in this little inner circle.

"Hey."

She places a hand on his gently. His focused and calculating eyes finally soften, looking straight at her to see a smile playing on her lips.

"Do you need some fresh air?" She asks him softly. Xiao only shakes his head and clears his throat. "I don't need it... I'm okay, you don't need to worry about me." Even though his tone doesn't suggest anything is wrong, the look in his eyes is everything Hu Tao needs to know what's going on with him.

She wants to know more what's going on inside that messed up head of his but when she tries to touch his shoulder, he refrains.

"Do you not like the hotpot?" She asks.

He shakes his head.

"Then is it the atmosphere?"

He shakes his head again.

Finally after everyone has gathered around the table with their meats and vegetables ready, Xiao tilts his head down and sighs heavily. "I'm not really that hungry, Hu Tao." He confesses, it isn't a lie but she could tell he isn't telling the whole truth. "...I've never eaten hotpot before."

"What?!"

Both of them turn to Xiangling who has a shocked expression on her face.

"How come you've never eaten a warm meal like hotpot?" The girl asks Xiao still with a bewildered look, "You'd miss out on a lot of chewy and spicy goodness!"

"Xiao must have a valid reason for not trying it, Xiangling." Xingqiu chuckles as he scoops some of the meat and shrimp from the hot metal pot.

Chongyun agrees and gives them a nod, "Yeah. Even I haven't eaten hotpot before until Xingqiu invited me over to have some last week."

The three start to chat: Xingqiu chuckling at Xiangling's overreaction to the information while eating elegantly, whereas Chongyun keeps trying to make the situation calmer by trying to change the topic of the conversation. To Xiao, their interactions really reminds him of his old friends from ago. Bonanus and Bosacius would love hotpot. He thinks to himself as he looks at the steamy bowl of rice in his hands.

"Come on, everyone~" Hu Tao chirps as she dips some of her meat into the pot. "Let's just enjoy this warm meal while we wait for Aether and Lumine."

Xiao watches as the four converse in one another, telling stories from what happened at school, home, even at their part-time jobs. It's almost as if, he's being with old friends again. Sharing a warm meal during chilly weather while laughing and clicking glass of juice. The nostalgia makes his stomach twist as he picks up his chopsticks and eats a piece of tofu from the plate. It's... Pretty good. Xiao doesn't expect himself to be eating half of the plate already.

Everything is so confusing.

Seeing that bright smile on Hu Tao's face makes something inside of him feel all warm. Even without the hotpot. There's something inside of him that wants that smile to be always shining brightly.

What the hell is wrong with me...?

"Hey, Xiao, why are you spaced out like that?" A familiar voice asks him, when he finally turns his attention back to the group he can finally see the twins have arrived and are already indulging in the warm hotpot. Aether is sitting next to him and nudges his elbow, "You'll don't know where you'd go if you keep being like that." The blond chuckles. He rolls his eyes and curses, "Shut it..."

"Hu Tao, you and Xiao have been really close lately." Says Lumine while eating a strip of meat. "Were you two really that close or is it just now?"

"Yeah!" Xiangling joins in the conversation. "You hadn't find the time to hangout with us sometimes."

The girl just laughs it off casually like she always does but then pulls Xiao into a sidehug with a huge grin on her face—much to his embarrassment. "Well that's because me and Xiao here are always out and about!"

Lumine joins in the laughter by saying, "What? Are you guys dating?"

Without any train of thought inside that head of hers, Hu Tao grins and lifts his arm. "Yes, we are!"

Huh?!? We're...?!

We're dating?!!?

#genshin impact #genshin #romance #fanfic #fluff #basically horimiya if it was genshin #genshin hu tao #genshin xiao #hu tao #xiao #hu tao x xiao #huxiao

[unsleepingtales]

Am I about to liveblog the new fhjy ep directly after seeing d20 live? Yes, absolutely I am. I am in my hotel room, I have food, I’m ready for the last stand.

Content Warning: Academic Stress [Throughout] GREAT

Gavvy baby we gotta get you better con

DENIM THE VESTS WERE DENIM

I love rogue mechanics <3 I love playing rogues <3

A shrimp dragon!!

Oh my god if I had to write a 300 word essay in five minutes I would cry

Spring break! I believe in you!

Fig you are so so close to being a paladin of Ankarna

Oh that orangeish pink early sunrise you mean the exact opposite and compliment to twilight???

Gorgug my boyyyyyy

It really is wild that like. A good night’s sleep basically fixes everything.

It turns out several of the sound effects I thought were editing are just sounds Brennan can make and made live. The electric zapping is one of them.

They’re so good

I’ve been going nonstop for a long time and it’s making me really tired so I might pass out before finishing the fight but we’ll see

The character’s been studying engineering, we’re all comedians

Dead

I fell asleep lol. Couldn’t download it to watch on the plane so I’m home now and finishing it in my free moments bc I’m busy this evening!

The klaxon keeps confusing me lol

I love that that’s what “you’re gonna be the first to die Adaine” was in reference to

Oh ok this is gonna get bad fast

Sorry the umber hulk is doing what

That’s so sad for me :|

The zoom on the hp 💀

I zoned out oops

Yessss Siobhan I love your shenanigans

They’re so good and competent

The longer this goes the more nervous I get about the one major spoiler I saw on my dash this morning… where is she…

OH SHIT THERE SHE IS

Oisin nooooo

Oh my god that’s fucking nuts

The fact that they took Kristen’s revivify diamonds pisses me off so much

(dice rattle menacingly)

What if they actually die. What then.

Incredible riz you’re so good

The butter gummies!

It’s all love??????

Oh my god

They’re so close come on

Zac’s just living in crit city

Get absolutely corn cutied

It’s time for love I guess

I’m sad about buddy tbh

Holy shit alright good for them

Tectonyaaaaa

So seriously discussing the vulture dimension

Oh god next week looks wild

#fantasy high junior year #verbal component #reactions

[montereybayaquarium]

No one is safe from shrimp facts during shrimp week! 🦐

#monterey bay aquarium #shromp week 2024 #not just shrimp facts but shromp shenanigans in general #just call us the shrimp MandaLOREians

[lantur]

the good,

I have made a couple of amazing new recipes recently. This Bang Bang shrimp pasta from the modern proper, which can easily be made vegetarian by substituting tofu and/or bell peppers and broccoli for the shrimp. And this fish tikka masala, which is truly Indian-restaurant quality.

Writing has been going well - I'm close to 70 pages done on my first draft.

Westin is cuddly and adorable and Derek is excellent.

I've gotten to spend time with friends (a high point of the last few days), and I have more friend time planned later this week!

the bad,

I accidentally missed a week worth of my antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds due to some pharmacy refill shenanigans. I haven't slept well in two days and I could barely think straight today. I have had painfully high anxiety levels for the last two days as well. I got my meds today though so I can resume them.

The transition to my new job has been rough. I started yesterday. I get along well with my manager, which is great, and the work promises to be interesting. However, without getting into too many details, my former coworkers are very unhappy that I have taken on a new role, and are trying to make my life difficult now. I also had the displeasure of meeting someone at work for the first time today, who was very openly rude to me. It was deeply disheartening and I was very sad. Still am. I am used to a certain amount of passive/low key rudeness, but when people are openly and overtly rude like that, it really throws me for a loop.

I keep trying to tell myself that things will be better a week from now. I'll be back on my meds, and I hopefully won't have to interact with this particular person at work again for a long while.

#lanturing

[katbrando]

dinokat ✱ 10.9k ✱ NSFW (minors dni, you'll be blocked) written very self-indulgently for my birthday, this is a series of snapshot drabbles encapsulating a surprise trip to the utah desert. there's horseback riding, hiking, drunken shenanigans, and typical dinokat silliness. majority is SFW, the smut is around 2k and takes place near the end of the fic. [ read on ao3 instead ]

“Babe, you look like –”

I’ve never seen Diego move with as much force and speed as he slams his laptop shut and whips his head around to look at me. His face is riddled with something akin to fear, though not severe enough to warrant too much concern.

“-- a shrimp,” I finish the statement, ruffling my damp hair with a towel and eyeing him with confusion.

Diego stays rooted on the couch, but holds his laptop protectively in his lap as if whatever he’d been previously looking at is for his eyes only. Processing the observation, he straightens up and shrugs dismissively.

“Just relaxing. Finally my turn to shower?” The subtle accusation hints at something else bothering him, though it seems he’s not exactly keen on discussing it. I have to swallow the anxiety and focus instead on the smile that’s gradually crossing his face.

“I offered for you to join me.” Towel now draped across my shoulders, I walk towards him and gently poke Diego in the forehead. “You snooze, you lose.”

Sharp cerulean eyes stare directly up at me as he grips my wrist and lowers my hand to his lips. Once he’s placed a kiss to my palm he finally stands up, still holding his laptop tight against his chest. 

“We both know if I’d have joined you,” Diego pauses amidst a sly grin that bares the sharp points of his teeth, “we’d have been in there for ages.”

I have no time to offer a rebuttal, not that I want to anyway. Diego promptly presses his lips to my cheek and leaves the living room. His laptop is stored somewhere in the space of our bedroom before he shuts himself in the bathroom and, despite my confusion and genuine curiosity, there’s no reason to go hunting for it. I trust Diego, respect his privacy, but it’s odd that he’s been acting like this lately. In a way, it reminds me of how secretive he’d been about his poetry when we’d first started dating, but there’s no telling what it might be this time. Ultimately, he can be quite protective of certain parts of himself, and it’d simply be unfair of me to pry things out of him when he isn’t quite ready to show them. 

I’m lucky enough to see intimate parts of himself that he rarely shows to anyone, and that’s more than good enough for me.

The days leading up to my birthday week continue to consist of Diego covertly tapping away at his phone and angling his laptop just right to shield whatever it is he’s looking at from my view. Curiosity is painfully consuming me, but I remain silent about his odd behavior. 

Gradually, however, it starts to become clear what he’s up to. It’s when he firmly requests that I take off the entire weekend of the upcoming date that I understand he must be planning something. Diego knows surprises stress me out and often keep me awake at night, but he insists I have nothing to worry about. Of course, that’s not my concern, it’s more rooted in a feeling of guilt at whatever he’s putting together specifically for me. But Diego is a gift giver, it’s who he is at his core; those he loves, though not many, he showers in gifts as a sign of his affection.

And so, I do as he says. Soon enough the fateful weekend is nearly upon us, and the minute I return home from work on Thursday, Diego greets me at the door, stopping me in my tracks from entering any further.

“What are you doing?” I pry, attempting to rise to my tip-toes and glance over his shoulders.

“Calm down,” Diego coos. “Close your eyes.”

A heavy sigh leaves my lips as I relent, shutting my eyes and immediately feeling one of his palms press to my lower back, pulling me into our home and guiding me god knows where. Based on my general familiarity with the layout, I conclude that he’s led me to our bedroom.

“Alright, open them, but,” Diego pauses, tone a bit stern, “you have to promise not to throw a fit.”

“Why would I throw a fit?” 

Diego doesn’t answer the question; instead he quietly gives me the go-ahead again. Steeling myself so I won’t react in a way he won’t appreciate, my eyes slowly open and notice we’re standing next to our bed. Atop the mattress lies two packed suitcases, a pair of plane tickets placed against their surface. Diego doesn’t give me time to respond, just straightens up to confidently explain.

“I’m taking you on a trip.” I don’t have to look at him to know he’s grinning. “We leave tonight, our flight is in two hours.”

“What?” I lift my stare and bite back the distress bubbling up in my throat. “Where –”

“Utah.” Diego’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction.

Out of every possible location he could have chosen for a trip, Utah is certainly nowhere near the top of the list. What could have possibly drawn him to this state specifically? Perhaps these were the cheapest tickets, or maybe he’s mistaken it for some other location. He’s still fairly unfamiliar with the States.

“Utah,” I repeat. “Okay, so… if the flight is in two hours what are we still doing here? It’s best to be at the airport early!”

“Christ, you’re still uptight from work.” Diego observes, and I slightly bristle with annoyance at his (likely very correct) assumption. “It’s fine, we’ll be there with plenty of time to spare. I packed ahead of time for a reason, darling.”

Speechless, I glance at our luggage, then back to him. I have no clue what awaits us in Utah, but still I wrap my arms around his torso and tightly hug him in thanks. 

“You didn’t have to do this.” As soon as the words leave my mouth I know he’s going to tell me off.

“There it is,” he chuckles, choosing not to further scold me. Instead, with one arm still wrapped securely around my shoulders, he reaches for one suitcase and pulls it to the floor. “We ought to get going.”

Ignoring my desire for a post-work shower, I follow his lead and grasp my own luggage. Diego tucks our plane tickets away, guiding me out to the living room. He tends to Anguirus, quickly feeding him and offering him a loving goodbye. It occurs to me that Diego has previously complained about airports and planes, which only furthers my appreciation for this gesture. The fact that he’s willing to go through a process he despises so much just to celebrate my birthday with me warms my heart in a way that only he is capable of. 

Putting up with Diego’s onslaught of complaining and frustration at the airport is easy; I’ve become used to his tendency to exhibit irritation with a great number of things, at this point in our relationship I deal with it with a sense of humor. He responds decently well to my supportive touches and words, but he’s still incredibly antsy and on edge for the duration of our 3 hour flight.

As soon as we land in Utah, Diego makes a beeline for the luggage claim. Suitcases finally in hand, he practically jogs out of the building and tugs me along with him. Only when the warm night air fills his lungs does he seem to relax. For tonight, he’s booked us a simple hotel. He explains that our real destination will be reached in the morning, though he still keeps it a secret despite my pleas for him to reveal it to me.

Airports are exhausting, so it doesn’t take much effort for me to relax in the security of Diego’s arms that night amidst the warmth of the hotel bed’s duvet. Sleep takes me as he nuzzles against my forehead, quietly professing his love in the silence of the room.

Refreshed after a full night’s rest, Diego and I set out for another lengthy trip to our final destination. From the comfort of our rented car, bustling cities give way to vast deserts, and all the while my mind attempts to put the pieces together. It’s been years since I’ve experienced a landscape like this outside of train rides to various parts of the west coast. Diego appears rather proud of himself for the duration of the ride, clearly pleased by my obliviousness. 

“A hint, at the very least,” I grumble about three-quarters through our drive. “Please.”

“A hint…” Diego’s eyes narrow as he studies the road ahead of him. There’s no way that mind of his will come up with anything legitimate; he’s likely trying to craft some sort of joke instead.

“Don’t tell me you’re just driving aimlessly. I love you, but getting stranded out here isn’t my idea of a good time, and I might have to leave you.” 

“You’ll have a good time, I promise.” There’s a pause, I ready myself for the inevitable punchline. “In fact, you could say… it’ll be quite the out-sand-ing time.”

“I can’t stand you.”

Diego chuckles at my insult, knowing it’s said in jest. “Fine, fine. I’ll give you one hint. Just one.” Hand outstretched towards me, one finger is held in front of my face for emphasis.

“Shoot.”

“I’m nearly positive you’ve never been there before.”

“That’s not a hint.” I press my head farther back against the seat and roll my eyes.

“Relax.” Diego gives my thigh a pat before returning his hand to the steering wheel. “We’re nearly there.”

So I do, enjoying the sound of Diego singing along to our road trip playlist and occasionally interjecting to mention facts about the local wildlife. There’s no way his passion for herpetology had nothing to do with choosing this location, and I certainly can’t blame him. Sometime during his chatter and carseat performance I manage to drift off to sleep, only to be woken up an hour later by the feeling of Diego gently shaking my shoulder.

“Darling,” he mumbles, only continuing when my eyes have cracked open, “we’re here.”

It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the sunlight again, met with the sight of a rectangular white building with a large sign I can’t quite make out just yet.

“Where–”

“Amangiri,” Diego grins and studies me for an instant reaction. Where he only gets a blank stare he purses his lips just slightly. “Haven’t you heard of it? Apparently it’s quite popular with celebrities in your country.”

“Celebrities?” My voice cracks under the onslaught of questions riddling my mind. How much money has he spent? How did he even find out about this place? Why couldn’t he have just settled for something less extravagant?

“Apparently the Kardashians are fans of the place,” Diego states as if I should be familiar. He doesn’t give me a chance to fight him any further, just slips out from his side of the car and makes his way to the passenger side.

Begrudgingly I take his hand and allow him to lead me inside the building into a pristine lobby that makes me suddenly feel quite shabby. Diego confidently checks us in, having his usual charismatic small talk with the woman working the front desk and offering a lively ‘thank you’ as soon as he acquires our keys.

Outside again and fully adjusted to the piercingly bright sunlight, I scan the surrounding buildings and note a small group of people relaxing in a crisp, clear pool at the very center.

“So which one is ours?”

“It’s farther out, let’s go.” Diego quickly heads for the car, glancing back when I don’t immediately follow him. 

As has become a trend in our relationship, I refrain from questioning him amidst his visible excitement. Our final drive for the day takes much less time, once more filled with Diego’s lilted singing. When the sight of a cubical cement building comes into view he happily points it out.

“Our little home for the weekend. A bit smaller than I’d pictured.”

Small or not, the suite is gorgeous. The interior is simplistic, decorated with modern furniture and accents of timber. A private fenced-in sky terrace houses a large daybed, a small pool sitting just at its foot. As if all that weren’t enough, there’s a firepit out front as well and floor-to-ceiling windows that bathe the entire space in natural light. Amidst my fawning and disbelief, Diego has pulled our luggage inside and neatly placed it at the foot of the indoor king-sized bed.

“Pictures are deceiving,” he grumbles, making his way back over to assist me in shrugging off my denim jacket. “But It’ll do.”

“‘It’ll do’?” When I whip my head around to face him he raises an eyebrow. “Are you kidding? This is–” I wave my hands around to emphasize no spot of the interior in particular. “It’s amazing.”

Diego’s lips curl into a satisfied smile, his arm slinks around my waist and tugs me closer. “As long as you like it.” His voice lowers. “If you don’t then I’ll personally go to management. Just say the word, love.”

“No need for that.” A scoff makes way for laughter when Diego leans in to press several kisses against my cheek.

“Let’s settle in, then. I’ll order some dinner, you just relax.”

Not needing to be asked twice, I do just that. A satisfying shower eases any of the residual tension from our lengthy drive, then I take an opportunity to step outside and fully appreciate the landscape surrounding us. Endless desert with towering mountains all painted in rich warm shades seem to extend out forever into the distance. The last time I visited Utah was when I was much younger, a period of my life where my family had traveled all over the States to take in the sights of countless national parks. To be able to experience it all over again with Diego fills me with euphoria and excitement.

Speak of the devil, Diego meets me outside with a bag full of what I can only assume is our dinner. He waves it around cheerfully as he slides the glass door shut.

“Turmeric chicken for my darling.” He sets the bag down on the outdoor dining table and rummages through until he locates the mentioned box and sets it down. “Lamb masala for me.” The second entree follows suit. “And wine for later.” He keeps said alcohol in the bag, though still grinning in anticipation of enjoying it this evening.

I swallow back the question of how expensive this meal was; if I’m going to properly enjoy this weekend, I have to allow him to shower me with gifts, regardless of how much money he’s shoveling out. Instead I take a deep breath and sit down with him, succumbing to his charm and quick wit, still as powerful as it was at the beginning of our relationship.

With full bellies, Diego and I return inside and curl up against the couch, meaning to watch television but instead cuddling and unleashing unbridled affection upon each other. We’ve changed into a set of comfortable robes that were neatly folded atop our bed’s mattress, making it much easier to brush hands underneath the soft fabric and steal purposeful touches. 

As the night sky goes dark and fills with an array of bright stars, Diego takes the opportunity to pop open the bottle of wine he’d ordered earlier. After more than a couple of glasses, the television is largely ignored, and he instead puts on a playlist through his phone. I choose not to indulge in drink, knowing it’s much more entertaining to watch as he slowly falls victim to the alcohol running through his system.

Diego isn’t a lightweight by any means, but tonight he doesn’t take it slow. He nearly finishes the bottle in no time, bringing him to a clearly tipsy state. Under the influence, his goofiness and tendency to entertain are always heightened to almost obscene amounts, so it’s no surprise that he’s stumbling around the living room under the guise of dancing, his voice bouncing against the concrete walls surrounding us. 

After witnessing him barely bump into the couch arm and nearly topple over, I giggle at the sight of his exaggerated pout, “I told you to slow down.”

“I’m fine,” he grumbles, taking another swig from the bottle in one hand, squinting at his phone in the other. “S’just wine.”

There’s no time for me to respond; he flips through tracks until he lands on Arctic Monkeys cover of Baby I’m Yours, a personal favorite of his. I anticipate that he’ll be belting with extra enthusiasm, and unfortunately I’m correct.

“Ah,” Diego sighs, letting the first few seconds play until he holds the bottle to his mouth as if it’s a microphone. “Baby I’m yours–”

“Alright, c’mon, I’m getting you some water.” 

When I attempt to get up, Diego latches his hand on my shoulder and spins me around, singing louder to drown out my refusal to engage in his drunken behavior.

“Stop.” My body language betrays my words as I grasp his forearm and step closer. 

“Yours until the poets run out of rhyme,” his voice cracks, his face scrunches up when he tries to recover from his blunder. He skips the next line as he takes another drink from the basically empty bottle.

There’s no way I’m going to win against his determination to entertain and romance me. I fall into step with him instead and let him wrap an arm around my waist, thumping my forehead into the crook of his neck. 

“I’m gonna stay right here, by your side.” He hiccups, chuckling afterwards. “Do my best to keep you satisfied–”

“You’d satisfy me if you hydrated,” I mumble against his chest.

“Shhh. Dance with me, darling.” 

Diego lets the next few lines play out on their own, choosing to down the remainder of the bottle and clumsily drop it to the floor only to kick it out of the way. 

“Yours until two and two is three.” This time his slurring is so painfully obvious that I pull back and gently tug at his arm.

“Alright. Water.” I plead, and he finally stumbles after me.

“I’m fine,” he croons, another hiccup completely trumping his insistence.

“You’re drunk.” I laugh again, filling a glass at the kitchen sink and oustretching it towards him.

Glass in hand, Diego takes a long drink and dramatically sighs afterwards. “Fine, you’re right.” I’m surprised by the way he admits defeat, but his next few words have me rolling my eyes. “I’m drunk… on love.”

“You’re insufferable.” I shake my head but give his shoulder a loving squeeze. When I attempt to refill the glass, he takes it from my hand and slides it across the counter.

“But you love me,” he correctly observes, leaning closer until his alcohol-laced breath is fanning across my lips. “Now kiss me.”

It’s a good thing I’m sober, Diego’s heated kisses and needy touches are intoxicating enough all on their own. Amidst our stumbling and laughter, his phone is abandoned somewhere between the kitchen and the bedroom, completely forgotten as pent up tension takes over.

“Have you ridden horses before?” Voice coming out more gravely than I’d intended, the question appears to pique Diego’s interest. 

“‘Course.” The pair of us jostle slightly in our seats as the car rolls over rough terrain. “You have, right?”

I suppose it would have been silly to assume he’d be taking us to do just that if he’d had no previous experience. “Yeah, but it’s been…” I pause, mulling the thought over in my still half-asleep state. “Dunno, probably since I was twelve or something.”

“You’ve got me beat. Think I was ten.” 

When our car finally reaches a small ranch with a fully-housed barn of horses, a farmhand greets us and instructs us to wait with a few more resort guests. A short demonstration ensues; basic safety tips, how to control a horse, how to mount one, all things that Diego half-listens to as he quietly insists this is all common sense. Maybe it is to him, but he’s aided by a photographic memory and a sort of confidence that would drive anyone to think he’s an expert in anything he does or says.

I half-expect Diego to immediately get knocked off his horse, but the animal melts at his touch and offers him immediate trust as soon as he approaches. Granted, he is delicate, sweet-talking the mare and never once putting a hand on her until she ceases backing away. In fact, Diego requires no assistance from the ranchers in mounting his horse, and he watches with amusement as I’m offered a wooden stool in order to even reach my destination. Another round of instruction and rule listing drags on for longer than probably necessary before our whole group is led farther out into the desert.

“So when were you gonna tell me you’re secretly a professional horse jockey?” I ask during a moment of quiet, the pair of us far enough from our group that it now feels more like a private date.

“A jockey?” Diego scoffs. “Please, I haven’t been on a horse in years.” There’s a wistful warmth in his eyes as he gently brushes his hand through his horse’s mane. “Maybe in another lifetime.”

“You’re good with them.” Not that I need to tell him that. He looks right at home, posture perfect and chin lifted with somehow even more confidence than he typically radiates. “Y’all just met and she loves you.”

Diego turns to face me, slowly smiles, and lifts an eyebrow. “Well, I am quite charming.”

“Nevermind.” I roll my eyes and the sound of Diego’s laughter fills the air.

“I rode when I was younger.” He guides his horse to fall in step closer with mine. “Mum had me in classes as soon as I was old enough.”

“Did you enjoy it?” Understanding this as a rare moment of sincere vulnerability, I study him closely but resist further questioning.

“Loved it.” Childlike joy fills his face. “She always said I had a knack for it. S’pose that’s why I’ve always loved animals.”

Instead of asking why he’d ever stopped, I bask in this moment with him, watching his expression light up with the childhood memories he doesn’t deem painful. Stories about his mother always bring about a softer side of Diego, one less tinged with resentment and irritation for the struggles his father had put him through. He’s a guarded man, but in this moment he doesn’t clam up when he catches me lovingly staring at him; instead, he returns the soft expression and reaches over to tightly grasp my hand in his. 

“We’re falling behind.” The observation comes just moments after Diego’s finished explaining the first time he fell off a horse as a young boy.

Diego’s eyes follow where mine rest, along the expanse of towering sandstone pillars and arches. The rest of our group is reduced to small figures slightly blurred by sandy winds, but before my anxiety can get any worse on its own Diego releases my hand and tightly grips his reins.

“I’ll race you.”

“Absolutely not.” My refusal falls on deaf ears, Diego’s wrists flicking and effectively quickening his horse’s pace. “Diego!”

Reckless as ever, he only glances back to chide me. “Loosen up! You’ll lose at this rate!” Another quick gesture and he’s speeding off in front of me.

“Dammit,” I mutter, begrudgingly following his lead and doing my best to balance myself.

In the end, we receive nothing more than a light reminder from the tour guide that it’s safest to maintain a steady pace and remain with the group. The instruction means nothing to Diego, and while it weighs on me for a bit, his thoroughly entertained and heightened mood make the entire thing worth it.

Tonight’s dinner is spent at one of the intimate restaurants that sits within the property of Amangiri Resort. What once was a vast sea of mountains in fiery oranges and reds now appears more subdued, dark and sleeping beneath a sky dotted with stars. Even with the beautifully set table lit by a pair of flickering candles in front of me, I can’t help admiring the scenery from the floor-length window just next to us.

“What’s going on in that brain of yours?” Diego’s low voice breaks me from my trance. “If the food isn’t good we can order something else.”

“Oh, no!” I fix my attention on him instead, immediately enticed by his illuminated features. It’s a wonder why I’d even choose to look at anything else. “Just admiring the view.”

“Me too.” Diego’s lip curls into a sly smile. “But I’d much prefer if the view were looking back at me and enjoying their meal.”

It’s as if we’re back at our very first date, his cheesy charm rendering me powerless and his eyes watching me carefully for every effect that his words have. They are, of course, predictable and just as present as the first time he managed to woo me months ago; an uncontrollable and hot blush, a sheepish smile, a passive scoff. He eats all of it up.

After dinner we retreat back to our suite, eager to settle in and relax for the remainder of the night. After sharing some time together in the large rainfall shower, the night air greets us again in our sky terrace. The cooling breeze brings me to pull my robe tighter around myself as I hear Diego slide the glass door shut and place two mugs of tea on a table for two nestled in the corner of the private space.

Without turning around, my eyes hypnotized by the stillness and clarity of the small outdoor pool, I mutter a quick ‘thank you’ in return for the beverages. Diego’s footsteps against the concrete are easily audible as he approaches me. Our bodies meet, one of his arms slinking around mine and guiding me to turn and face him as his other hand delicately brushes my still-damp hair back from my face.

“The desert suits you,” Diego observes in a hushed voice. “I wish we could live out here. Just the two of us and our little dragon.” His fingertips glide down from my cheek to my jaw, his thumb softly prodding at my lower lip.

I chance a cheeky nibble on the digit, watching with delight as he furrows his brow. “It’s way too hot out here.”

“So you prefer the painfully unpredictable nature of your hometown.” Diego grumbles, lifting an eyebrow and deadpanning the last two words. “I see.”

“Don’t act like you aren’t a glutton for unpredictability.” I dip my hand beneath the sleeve of his robe to grasp the warm skin of his forearm.

He responds to the gesture with a tug, what little distance resting between us now gone. Voice only a whisper, his breath tickles my cheeks.

“Couldn’t possibly have any idea what you’re referring to, my love.”

“Right.”

As is typical, light banter plays out between the two of us, each of our tones and body language becoming increasingly riled up. The previously warm tea is largely ignored save for a few sips, now cooled and forgotten as quick wit and humor gives way to physical affection. But, the underlying energy of clear power play is still ever-present. Neither of us want to let the other win, even when we have no idea what determines victory in the first place.

Diego is awarded a brief second of dominance as I allow his lips to brush tenderly against mine. He’s won the battle, but certainly not the war. It takes hardly any force at all when my palms quickly shove at his chest, sending him toppling back into the pool with a yelp. Waves splash up at me when his body makes contact; his cries of displeasure echo alongside the sloshing of water.

“Kat!” I’m laughing so hard I can barely hear him as he steadies himself in the water. He dramatically whips his head back and forth, sending even more water soaring my way. “Bloody hell, what was that for?”

“I’m sorry,” I choke on a laugh, having to bend down and rest my hands against my knees, “I couldn’t help it, you look like a wet rat.”

Diego stares up at me, hair initially sticking to his face but eventually swiped back by one of his hands. His eyes are blown wide, stuck somewhere between frustration and adoration. The plush robe he’d been wearing is now resting at the top of the water, floating around him like an absurd lifejacket. I try to stifle another laugh but inevitably snort at just how ridiculous he looks.

“You’re a nutter,” Diego whispers, still audible in the cooling desert air.

“Takes one to know one,” I reply and walk to the edge of the pool, slowly sitting down and sinking my legs into the water. 

Diego gives up and fully removes the robe, allowing it to float uselessly atop the now calming waves. Now free, his hands immediately rest against my calves, pulling himself closer until he’s able to comfortably fold his arms across my thighs. It’s almost unfair how cute he looks as he blinks away the droplets resting on his eyelashes, sending them rolling down his beautifully dotted cheeks and full, pouting lips.

“I’m so madly in love with you.”

His words grip me instantly, they’re unexpected and sudden and of course he’s expressed the sentiment before, but in this moment they feel so powerful and real. It’s almost like I don’t care anymore if he happens to win this silly little tussle. There’s no rebuttal I can bring myself to offer.

“I love you, too.”

“I certainly hope so.” Diego plays up the sweet act for another few seconds, then his devilish smile returns and I have essentially no time to prepare for his next move. 

“What –” I sputter, but he’s already got his arms latched around my thighs.

Diego rips me from my spot on the concrete, hoisting me over his shoulder and dunking me in the water, all the while laughing so loud I’m almost certain anyone could hear him from a mile away. He’s nice enough to only submerge me for a split second, but when I come up for air my vision is completely obstructed by my hair.

Amidst my gasping and struggle to achieve balance, Diego takes it upon himself to apologetically brush my soaked bangs back. He seems quite proud of himself, chin lifted as the remainder of his laughing fit plays out.

“Dee,” I keep my tone low and threatening, but Diego doesn’t appear affected. 

“Yes, love?”

Knowing full well that words will do nothing, I allow the playful energy from earlier to take over again, quickly splashing him and relishing in the way he squawks. The concrete surface of the sky terrace quickly becomes dangerously slick with the force of our onslaught on each other; in fact, after a bit, it’s surprising there’s any water left in the pool at all. 

But yet again, the lighthearted brawl mellows out and becomes more subdued in the form of breathless laughter and contrite touches. The pair of us gradually back up into one corner of the pool, my arms draped loosely across his shoulders, his firmly holding me up to accommodate my legs wrapped around his waist. There’s nothing else I’d rather do than wade in heated waters with him, sharing passion-laced kisses and ignoring the fact that our shower earlier was now meaningless.

It’s during a pause for breath that Diego gives my ass a squeeze alongside a firm suggestion. “Might be wise to take this elsewhere before we turn into a couple of prunes.” He vaguely nods towards the day bed just feet away. “As long as you promise not to push me in again.”

As enticing as the idea is, I suppose it’s fine to let him have his way. I press my body tighter against his and quietly laugh. “Promise.”

Today’s activity, despite my hesitation, is a hiking trip. An event that would almost seem like a task if not for Diego’s wild enthusiasm about it. He’s dressed in a sleeveless tank and mid-thigh length athletic shorts, hair haphazardly pulled into a loose ponytail that sticks out from above the clasp of his heather-gray baseball cap. 

“Right then.” Diego shoves his phone in front of my face, screen so close I can’t even make out what he’s showing me. “We’re on the hunt for one of these beauties.”

Only slightly annoyed – likely due more to sleepiness than anything – I gently lower his wrist and look at the photo on his phone. A large lizard with black-and-orange skin that almost appears beaded stares back at me with tiny eyes. I wrack my brain for the name of the species, nearly confident in my guess considering he’s mentioned it a few times before.

“Gila monster?” I hesitantly ask, immediate relief hitting me when Diego grins back at me, his eyes likely sparkling even behind the aviators he’s wearing.

“I’ve never seen one in person.” He excitedly flips through his photos, landing on one of a huddle of hatchlings. “Look how cute.”

“Are they common out here?” I follow Diego as we set out along the marked path, desert terrain crunching beneath our sneakers.

“They’re rare,” Diego continues, lacing his fingers with mine after he tucks his phone away in his pocket. “Extremely so, apparently. But.” He glances at me and grins enough for the sharp points of his teeth to be fully visible. “Yours truly has a way with these beasts.”

The desert sun is unforgiving as we make our way across rough ground and up into rocky hillsides. Diego entertains, spouting off his vast knowledge of reptiles and continually pointing out if he happens to see a common breed within our range of sight. A photography session ensues every single time, him cautiously taking several of just the animal on its own before asking me to include him in the pictures as well. 

It’s likely not common to see this many in general, or for them to be so calm in the presence of people, but maybe it’s due to Diego’s stand powers that he’s able to attract them without doing much. Every so often Diego gives low, animalistic growling or chirping sounds in an effort to further entice them, and it’s only me reminding him that we can’t smuggle a lizard from its natural habitat that drags him away from interacting with them. But hey, at this rate, maybe we will see a gila monster.

Our path is clearly marked and relatively free of other travelers, making it a mostly smooth trek farther and farther up a particularly high mesa. Roughly an hour of walking at a leisurely pace brings us closer to the final destination, made obvious by a high arch casting a thick shadow over the pair of us. 

“Nearly there,” Diego huffs, pausing for breath after several minutes of a steep incline. He glances back at me, momentarily removing his aviators to wipe the sweat from his brow. “Alright?”

Equally sweaty, I take a hefty sip from our shared water bottle and give neither a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. “I’ll be fine when we’re at the top.” I pass the container to him and he quickly indulges as well.

In the end, the trek is far more than worth it. When we reach the top of the mesa we’re blessed with a flat surface that’s much easier to maintain balance on. The thick, towering arch we’d seen while making our way up shields the sky from our view, offering a much needed reprieve from the blistering heat of the sun. 

“Look at that.” Diego’s voice comes from several feet away from me, breaking me from my fixation on the sandstone structure above us. When I whip my head around to face him I find him standing farther out towards the edge, marveling at the view.

There aren’t many things that bring Diego to a speechless state, but this seems to be doing the trick for both of us. The sight is breathtaking; sprawling desert seems to go on forever, dotted with isolated buttes and deep canyons, all surrounded by thick, fiery layers of sand and watched over by a crisp blue sky and pillowy clouds.

Who knows how long we stand there like this, fully transfixed and motionless even as hot wind fans across our faces. It’s only when Diego’s hand grasps mine, easily lacing our fingers together, that I feel grounded again.

“Alright, you win.” I try not to smile at the way he instantly turns to face me. “The hike was worth it.”

“It’s useless to fight me on these things. I saw the photos and knew.” Diego squeezes my hand and softly chuckles. “Quite ridiculous that a Brit is acting as a tour guide for his American girlfriend.”

Ridiculous isn’t the word I would use. Thoughtful… doting…loving… selfless, even. Those are the words my mind conjures up when I consider just how much planning he’s had to do for this entire trip. 

“You’re way too good to me.” I prepare myself for his scolding, but this time he doesn’t call me out for my overly considerate tendencies.

Instead, he tightly wraps an arm around my shoulder, tugging me against his body and sighing blissfully when I embrace him in return. “I only want the best for you, love.”

“Could’ve just locked the two of us in one room for an entire weekend and that would have sufficed.”

“Nonsense.” Diego waves the comment off and releases his hold on me, allowing us both to appreciate the beautiful landscape in front of us all over again. “Besides, I wanted to see it for myself.”

“It’s gorgeous, way cooler than I remember as a kid. Is there anything like this back in the UK?”

“Not even close.” Diego laughs, shaking his head as he appears to reminisce on his time back home. “Certainly not anywhere near Manchester.”

“Bummer. Guess you’re gonna have to stay forever in the States where it’s more interesting, huh?”

That’s a question he doesn’t even entertain, because the answer is so plainly obvious. 

“We have hillsides, I spent a great number of drunken nights hosting bonfires up there. Father would have disowned me much quicker if he’d known about that.” Diego shrugs. “Those times were great for loosening up and screaming until my lungs hurt.”

“Screaming?” Only a tad baffled by the mental image, I give him a perplexed look.

“That’s right,” he instantly responds as if it’s something I should be familiar with, “how else does a teenage boy let out all his rage without bashing his father’s skull in?”

“So you just… went up into the hills and screamed?”

“What, does that not sound appealing to you?” Diego appears equally puzzled. “Don’t you ever feel like letting it all out?”

“Of course I do.” In fact, the idea of screaming into a void until my voice is gone has oddly interested me for years now, but the logistics of being able to do such a thing feel more complicated than its worth. “But I’d prefer not to alarm people.”

“Nevermind that!” Diego rolls his eyes and takes a couple steps away from me. “Look, I’ll do it right now.”

“Diego, don’t! There’s people around here, they’ll think you’re being eaten alive or falling to your death or something.” My anxiety is quickly bubbling up as I watch him teasingly bring a hand up to rest next to his face, as if he’s about to yodel his heart out.

“I’m not going to scream in pain,” he scoffs. “Relax.”

With that, Diego straightens up, takes a deep breath, and lets out the loudest sound I have ever heard him make. It’s less a scream and more an enthusiastic shout, echoing against the thick sandstone pillars and blending seamlessly with the strong breeze. There’s only a couple people up here with us, but they pay him no mind beyond a quick glance. When my own concern fades, I’m instead taken with how beautiful he is in this moment, blonde hair blowing in the wind, face alight with pure joy, chest heaving as he takes another deep breath to recover. 

“See?” He directs his attention back to me, flashing a victorious smile and dismissively waving his hands in the air. “Nothing to it. No harm done. Now it’s your turn.”

“Absolutely not.” Even as I fold my arms in defiance, Diego grapples for my hands and cocks his head, a pout pulling at his lips. “Diego, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Beyond sheer embarrassment, I suppose I don’t have a good reason. As I chew on my lip in thought, he continues trying to persuade me.

“I swear it’s fine, darling. Just think about how good it would feel.”

“I just don’t see the point –”

“Look.” Diego tugs his aviators off his face again and folds them, hooking them on the collar of his tank top. He’s likely trying to ease my worry by looking at me directly, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t working at least a little bit. “Imagine you’re back at work. Think about how frustrating it is, how hard they work you, how belittling it is.”

“I thought we were on vacation.” It’s partly an attempt to change the direction of this exchange.

“Shh, listen.” He quickly dismisses my questioning. “Just think about it, genuinely. Mull it over.” Diego pauses as I do just that, eyes scanning my face for a moment. “How does it feel?”

“Well, it pisses me off, of course.”

“Right. So take that,” he juts his thumb out towards the landscape, “and unleash it. When will you get another chance to do that?”

I hate that he has a point. “Probably not for a very long time.” 

Without another word, Diego steps back and gestures broadly towards the endless horizon, inviting me to do exactly what he’d previously demonstrated. Granted, it takes me a fair amount of mental preparation, but eventually I swallow back the anxiety filling my throat and cup both hands around my mouth, unleashing a booming yell that houses a mixture of largely pent-up emotions. 

Diego stares at me with satisfaction, both for knowing he was correct and for watching the stress practically melt off of me. It’s a shame I have my gaze fixed on the sky as I recover from my emotional release, because Diego’s expression is one of total affection, almost as if he’s so transfixed by me that he’s been rendered speechless all over again.

I take one more deep breath and turn on my heel to face him, shrugging in defeat. “Alright. You were right. Again.”

“It’s a wonder why you even question me anymore.” Diego returns to my side, embraces me again and presses a fleeting kiss to my forehead.

“Thank you, Diego. For all of this.”

“Anything for my beloved. I assume you’re satisfied?”

“God, yeah.” I turn my head, resting my cheek against his shoulder and staring out into the desert again. “I don’t think anything could make this any more perfect.”

Diego hums happily and shifts slightly, but his embrace doesn’t falter. Maybe, if I hadn’t chosen to admire the horizon, I’d have caught the way he’d reached into his pocket as if to grab something. But the action is one of hesitation, ultimately going nowhere.

For our last night at the resort, Diego has dinner delivered again. Our bodies are exhausted even after a refreshing shower, so we decide to relax outside by the firepit for the remainder of the night. The sky is starting to darken and my eyelids are getting heavy, but Diego fills the evening air with commentary on the flurry of pictures we’d taken on our hike. He seems quite pleased with the entire experience, face alight with excitement as he expresses his desire to show his coworkers when he returns to work. Eventually, though, he tucks his phone away and silence settles between us.

“Should we turn in for the night?” I ask, noting the way he’s already sitting up straight and swiveling in his seat to face me. “I’m exhausted.”

“Why the rush? I haven’t had a chance to give you your birthday gift.”

When I thump my head back against my chair, he chuckles. “Is that not what this entire trip has been?”

“Part of it, yes. Now, promise me you won’t shove me into the pool again.”

“Do I have a choice?” His smirk tells me no. 

In one quick motion, Diego brandishes a sealed envelope from his robe, holding it tightly between his pointer and middle finger as he extends it towards me with a confident quirk of one eyebrow.

I groan, begrudgingly taking the gift. “You have to learn that I hate surprises.”

“Relax,” Diego croons. “It’s not as if I left you hanging for days, you can’t pin this irritation on your anxiety.”

I have half a mind to tell him off for psychoanalyzing me, but it’s clear he’s joking. Gift anxiety be damned, I hesitantly slip my finger in the envelope’s gap and tug until its seal is broken. Diego watches intently, eager to experience my joy; sometimes I’m shocked he doesn’t film me when I receive his gifts.

If he ever had, this would have been a prime opportunity. As soon as I see the beginnings of the concert tickets held inside, my jaw drops and my hands still.

“You didn’t –” I start, only to be interrupted.

“They aren’t the best seats, unfortunately, but I know how badly you’ve wanted to see them live.” 

I could have foregone this entire trip, all the experiences we’ve shared over the past couple days, every expensive meal and dip in our private pool. All of it feels meaningless right now as I hold two tickets to Arctic Monkeys in my unworthy hands. 

“Diego, holy shit.” My body acts on its own, rising to my feet and crossing the short distance between our chairs only to straddle his waist and cup his face in my hands. “Kiss me.”

Thoroughly pleased with the reception, Diego grins and fulfills my wish. A brief lapse in contact only occurs when I realize I’ve left the envelope in my seat, anxiously glancing over to make sure it’s still resting there, unaffected by the slight breeze.

“I hope you noticed,” Diego takes the opportunity to further impress me. “It’s on the date of our anniversary. It’s as if Alex himself knew.”

“God, I love you,” I reiterate, as if my actions haven’t said it enough. 

Diego returns the sentiment, clutching me tight against his chest. “I went through hell to get those. Tried to get better seats by appealing to Alex directly but the bloke wouldn’t answer my DMs.” A smidgen of disdain laces his tone.

“As stubborn as you are, there’s no way that would have worked, Dee.” 

“You’d think he’d have the decency to answer an old friend, but,” Diego heavily sighs, “seems fame does things to people.”

Not this again. Since the day we first bonded over a mutual love of the band, Diego’s been insistent on previously meeting Alex at a show. This alone is fairly believable, but the man always takes it one step further, claiming he’d actually befriended the frontman ages ago. Much as he rarely admits to admiring anyone, Alex Turner clearly holds a very special place in Diego’s heart; one that, while completely one-sided, seems to hint at his attraction to the vocalist as well.

“You wanted to rekindle your romance,” I tease him, letting my voice rise as if telling an age-old love story. “I get it, that’s your real motive.”

“Come off it,” Diego scoffs against my shoulder and cuddles closer as if to prove otherwise. “I’ll admit he’s a good-looking man but clearly he has no interest in me.”

“Well, he’s missing out, but hey.” I lift my head to give him a genuine smile. “That means I get you all to myself.”

Diego can’t hide the hint of pink spreading across his cheeks, he’s properly flustered and it’s quite cute how he averts his stare for a moment and purses his lips.

“Now please tell me that’s all you’re going to throw at me, I’m not sure how much more I can handle.” It’s mostly a joke, but the sheer amount of things he’s done for me this weekend is starting to feel overwhelming. 

“I did have one last thing planned, but it seems you’re not interested in your last gift.” Diego dramatically pouts. There’s a glint still ever-present in his eyes, though I never would have needed the hint anyway.

“And what might that be?” Cocking my head in mock curiosity causes his previous pout to curl up into a sly smile.

“I’ll give you three guesses.”

Fingertips playfully gliding across his neck, I list off my predictions with as sultry a tone as I can pull off. “Couldn’t possibly be this overactive mouth of yours.” A gentle tap against his bottom lip punctuates my guess.

“Perhaps.” Diego watches me intently, voice barely above a whisper.

“Or,” I continue, dragging my other palm against the thin fabric of his shirt. “Maybe you’ll let me look at you all night.”

“I think you might be getting warmer, but be careful.” He squeezes my thigh. “Guess incorrectly and you might get nothing.”

“Please, I know you better than that.” I finally reach the subject of my final guess, palming his crotch over his linen joggers. “I’m sure you’d like to get me in bed.”

Diego lowly chuckles and shifts slightly in his seat, clearly affected by the simplicity of my touch. “Is that your final answer?”

“Yeah. When do I get my reward?”

As if my words have given him the exact signal he’d been waiting for, Diego’s arms curl around my waist and he pulls me closer, pressing his forehead to mine.

“Right now.”

Increased strength from his stand aids him in fully picking me up when he rises from his seat, but he takes a quick second to grasp the previously abandoned envelope. It gets tossed somewhere amidst our luggage when we make it inside, and he wastes no time in placing me gently atop the mattress of the suite’s indoor bed. The robe he’d been wearing quietly thumps to the floor as he quickly closes the minuscule distance between us.

“How would you like this to play out, darling?” His voice is sweet, signifying his desire to fully please me this evening. His lips are less so, aggressive and wet as he covers my neck in desperate kisses.

“Surprise me,” I manage, though I’m already becoming distracted by the increasing heat filling my body. “Whatever you want, Dee.”

Diego tuts, hovering over my ear to reiterate his wishes. “Nevermind me, go ahead. I want to please you.”

As hard as it is sometimes to allow myself to indulge in his worship, I remind myself that this weekend is for me, that he’d likely planned this specific moment way ahead of time.

“Kiss me.” It’s likely not the answer he expected, but Diego wastes no time in following my instruction.

Quiet settles between us, Diego moving to hover over my body, his palms taking their place against the sheets on either side of my head. Both our eyes flutter closed as I feel his hair tickling my cheeks, his warm breath following suit before he kisses me with zeal. His flaxen mane makes the perfect spot for my fingers to glide and further spur him on, not that he needs the encouragement.

This tender moment lasts for a few minutes, but Diego never can resist the quickness with which he hungers for more. Having his fill of my lips, he begins descending and pressing wet open-mouthed kisses across my neck only to be interrupted by the fabric of my t-shirt. Diego softly clicks in his tongue in slight frustration but the hem is quickly lifted to accommodate one of his palms pressing flat against my stomach. I shimmy from underneath him, allowing his hand to tug the garment upwards until my chest is fully exposed to him. A groan sounds from deep within his throat at the sight of me as his lips continue their original mission. 

Worshiping my body seems to be his mission tonight, and he knows exactly where I want him. His tongue teases one of my nipples, flicking and dragging across the quickly hardening bud only to pull it tight between his lips, suckling with enthusiasm. I have my hands still gripping loosely on his hair as I fail to resist the sounds of pleasure spilling from my lips. 

Diego pulls off my breast with an exaggerated pop and nuzzles his cheek across the soaked surface. “My sweet girl,” he coos, “I can smell you.”

His heightened senses never fail to make my body ache with desire. There’s something so arousing in knowing he’s keenly aware of my scent, my need to feel him between my legs, whether it’s his face or his cock doesn’t matter. Diego makes a show of slowly backing up until he’s standing at the foot of the bed, fully illuminated by the warm glow of the sunset leaking into the bedroom. When he grasps the underside of my thighs and pulls me closer I giggle, spreading my legs only to lock him in an embrace. 

“You’re soaked through.” Diego firmly places his palm against my clothed lower half, as if to confirm his observation. Of course he’s correct, my breath hitches in my throat at his touch and he smiles lasciviously at the effect he so easily has on me.

Slowly and sensually, Diego unties the loosely tied cord of my joggers. His fingertips are warm and nimble as they hook into the waistband, gradually tugging the bottoms down and off my legs. Before they’ve even hit the floor he already has one hand peeling the hem of my underwear down to follow suit. The chilly air makes me shiver as he presses both palms to my inner thighs, spreading me far enough for my lower half to be fully exposed just for him. 

Obscenity practically radiates off of him in the way he licks his lips and hungrily eyes me. He takes a deep whiff of the air and shakily exhales, my scent filling his nostrils so fully that he quivers with arousal. 

“I’ve ached for you all day, love.” Diego flicks his gaze up to stare salaciously into my eyes for a brief moment. “I constantly crave you, I want you every minute of every day.” He presses his thumb against his lips and gives it a generous coating of spit only to distribute it onto my clit in a circular motion. 

I moan desperately, lifting my hips in an effort to achieve more friction. “Diego, please.”

“You’re so cute when you beg,” Diego coos, “s’pose there’s no sense in wasting time.”

Diego drops to his knees and breathes hot against my wetness. Fiery sunlight sets his hair beautifully ablaze while his tongue works its magic, the softness of the wind perfectly accentuates the obscenely wet sounds of his mouth as he devours me like a man starved. God, he’s incredible; I’ve known this since the first time he’d gone down on me months ago, but even still, every single time feels like a religious experience. 

My body is already showing all the signs of oncoming release, but Diego is way ahead of me. He growls against me and rises to his feet, eagerly slipping his shirt off and tossing it to the floor. His joggers and underwear quickly follow, his cock springing upwards and slapping wetly against his skin. I’m dangerously close and even the simple sight of him threatens to push me over the edge. Diego takes his place above me again, assertive in the way he kisses me and laps up into my mouth. We share moans that get lost between each other's lips when his clock glides across my clit.

“Oh, I can’t take it much longer,” Diego pants, though his hips continue bucking against mine.

“Fuck me,” I beg, grappling at the nape of his neck. “I need you inside me right now.”

Unable to deny me even a little bit, Diego reaches between us and presses his tip to my entrance. His breath shudders as he easily slips inside me and his eyes roll back with pure ecstasy when he plunges himself to the hilt. A slow thrust drives me to whine and softly plead, his name delicious as it rolls off my tongue. 

Diego fucks me without abandon, huffing desperately and growling with every thrust of his hips. It takes only a few seconds for him to rise to his knees, momentarily hooking his arms around my thighs to tug me closer against his crotch before gripping the sides of my waist and moving my body to accommodate every snap of his hips. This is how I like him best, chest fully visible, pecs coated in a light sheen of sweat, head rolling back while he moans and mumbles my name like an obscene prayer. With a heavy gulp he returns his attention to me, locking his eyes with mine and furrowing his brow in an unspoken warning of his oncoming orgasm.

The force and speed of his thrusts increase and my gaze stays fixed on him, not knowing where to focus my attention. As he drags a hand through his already tousled hair the monogram necklace adorning his neck glints in the glow of the sunset; another wave of pure pleasure wracks my body at the realization that he’s mine, I’m his, that his body so perfectly serves me, that his soul is so intimately entangled with mine.

Diego groans, hips stuttering until he knows it’s only a matter of time. He resists for as long as possible, but ultimately slips out from me and tightly grasps his cock. “Fuck, I’m –”

It takes only a few pumps of his fist before he spills out across my chest, hot and thick and punctuated by an animalistic groan. He’s still eager to fuck me, wasting no time in sliding inside me again and studying me closely as he fucks me through the remainder of his orgasm, his thumb again paying close attention to my most sensitive spot.

I feel the coiling of my core, my toes curl and my thighs clamp tightly against him when it hits me. As I grasp desperately at his forearms, he stays sheathed inside me and moans at the feeling of my walls tightly holding him in place. Only when I’ve fully felt the force of every second of my release does he slowly slip out from me and descend once more. His hands find mine, pressing them down against the sheets as he lovingly laces our fingers together. This time our kisses are more gentle, his tenderness returning to care for me in the aftermath of our lovemaking.

Inevitably, exhaustion takes over and Diego rolls to rest on his back, chest still gently heaving as I follow his lead and drape myself across his stomach. His lips are parted to accommodate his labored breath, his eyes are equally expressing his fatigue but they still light up when he meets my gaze. As if pulled by some invisible force, our hands find each other again, perfectly fitting together as we both squeeze; mine is something akin to a wordless ‘thank you’, and I think his might be ‘my pleasure’.

I take a deep breath, letting the chilly desert air fill my lungs as I press my cheek tight against his still damp skin. Gently peppered kisses draw a pleased sigh from Diego’s mouth; there’s nothing but fondness present on his face as he brushes a hand through my hair.

“It’s good every single time,” I decide to praise him, claiming the smile that pulls at his lips as a reward. “You’re amazing, Dee. Unhinged, but amazing.”

“I know.” Diego curls his lip further to reveal one sharp canine. 

The gloating is so classically Diego that I can’t even be annoyed by it. Instead I blow a raspberry against his stomach and revel in the scoff it pulls from him. There’s enough strength in my body now for me to lift myself and crawl closer to him; I press my forehead against his and giggle softly at the way he nudges my nose with his own.

“I love you,” I whisper against his lips. “Thank you.”

Diego quietly returns the sentiment, only audible to me and just barely-so. I wrap my arms around him, tugging him into a tight hug that further transitions into our bare bodies pressed flush against each other, limbs entangled in an intimate embrace. I’m unsure how many times we softly express our love for each other in this moment, but eventually sleep takes us as the star-littered sky bathes us in moonlight.

Unfortunately, all trips must come to an end, and leaving the comfort of our suite is no easy task. Diego’s final gift to me comes in the form of breakfast in bed which he lovingly offers me after waking me up with a kiss to my forehead. He quickly chows down on his own meal then leaves me to relax while he packs up our belongings. One last shower is shared between the two of us before we finally head out.

The drive to the airport is relatively quiet aside from Diego’s usual singing. I’ve started to drift off again, but suddenly he’s stopped the car along the largely empty road, excitedly staring out his window. Without looking at me he reaches over to gently shake my shoulder to make sure I’m awake.

“Darling. Look.” 

Groggily, I sit up straight and glance out his window, immediately understanding his sudden need to stop driving. Resting atop the base of a small butte just a few feet away from the road sits a lizard with orange and black beaded skin.

“Oh my god,” I mumble, as if the creature will somehow hear me from in our car, “is that…”

“A gila monster.”

Diego tries to suppress his excitement, carefully pulling off to the side of the road, all the while maintaining a fixed stare on the lizard he’s been so adamant about spotting this entire trip. This is the most cautious I think I’ve ever seen him; as soon as he exits the car he’s practically tip-toeing towards the animal, slowly pulling his phone from his pocket and snapping a photo when he’s close enough.

I watch from my seat, but when he starts to gesture for me to join him I can’t bring myself to say no. He hands his phone off to me, a wordless request that I quickly understand. Without disturbing the lizard, he crouches down and faces me, gesturing towards it with one thumb as his face lights up with exhilaration. 

I take several photos of him until he waves me closer again and takes his phone back. This time, he pulls me to crouch down with him, making sure to include me in the photo as well. The gila monster is visible from between us, though still far enough back that we don’t disturb it. Diego is giddy as we rush back to the car, immediately erupting into a flurry of excited laughter as soon as he settles back into his seat.

“Finally…” He flips through the photos and stops at the image of both of us. “We can officially call this trip a complete success.”

“I knew you had some kind of ulterior motive,” I tease him, reaching over to affectionately pat his cheek. “Turns out you just wanted to see some lizard.”

“Please.” Diego presses a quick kiss to my palm. “This is just the icing on the cake.”

“I know, I’m just fucking with you.” When I lean closer he follows my lead, gradually closing the distance until he’s whispering against my lips.

“And I love it.”

Sometime amidst our flurry of kisses, the gila monster slinks away as if understanding a bit of privacy might be necessary. Sure, maybe with this detour the drive takes a little longer than expected, and maybe we have less free time before our flight back home, but it’s worth it to indulge for just a little while longer in the vast desert that will forever encapsulate a myriad of unforgettable memories.

#my writing #dinokat #modern au #praying to the tumblr gods once again that formatting won't fuck up and chunks won't be lost to the void #this is rlly silly and long so i fully don't expect anyone to read all of it or any of it at all #but i worked on it for a while and i like it a lot so i figure .. why not #i wanted to do spot illustrations but i ran out of time and motivation HJFKDS #so hopefully the silly little pictures are nice enough

[linddzz]

Hi! I saw the post about octopusseseses and I went down a rabbit hole of octopus-human interaction vids, and apparently some people have a pet one. Thoughts on hobbyist aquarium keepers with octos? It seems like a very difficult animal to care for properly at home, but an interesting one. There's a lot of conflicting info on if one can ethically keep one at all. Sadly, I have chronic "cute i want one" disease when I see any animal. But I can't keep houseplants alive, so I won't, don't worry lol

Small octopuses can be successfully kept as a pet, but they do require a specialized tank and specialized care, and the smaller species can have a lifespan of 1-2 years. Overall my opinion is that as a pet, the amount of specialized care and expense that goes into keeping an octopus is just...not worth it for their short lifespan. Also I do NOT think anyone should get an octopus unless they're experienced with keeping saltwater aquariums. Here's a quick list of things that need to be kept in mind for an octopus.

-Lifeapan: like I said, smaller species of octopus that you can find in the hobby have shorter lifespans. You'd pretty much be setting a whole system up to keep one animal for a relatively short time.

-Octo-Proofing: the escape stories of octopuses are only slightly exaggerated. Public aquariums keep their octos in tanks designed to hold an octopus. They can climb, they're strong, and they have no bones and too much curiosity. An octopus tank will need a lid that is latched down, plus every single filter intake and return and overflow and ANYTHING will need mesh attached and attached in a way that the octopus can't just figure out how to rip it off. You will then have to clean that mesh frequently to make sure it doesn't get clogged up and mess your whole tank up

-Filtration: octopuses are messy. They have mucus that comes off them, they toss bones and shells from their food all over the tank and eat daily. They're sensitive to high nitrates and their hemocyanin blood makes them sensitive to shifts in pH. You'll want a good protein skimmer at least and I'd recommend a system with a sump that'll allow good gas exchange while still being able to keep the top of the tank closed up against octopus escapes. You'll want to do weekly water changes and for smaller systems it's better to just set up an automatic top-off to keep the salinity stable.

-Tankmates: you won't have any tank mates that last long except maybe some tiny asterina starfish and corals.

-Bastard Factor: ok so I don't know if it's common in the hobby but it is not unheard of for some smaller octo species with lidded tanks to figure out that if they can push the lid up just enough to spray water out of the tank then the lid will open up and other such bastard animal shenanigans that sound charming and fun to read but are way less charming to actually deal with.

-Food: so this isn't impossible but they do need a variety of prey items that are sometimes more expensive. Octos are opportunistic hunters but most of their prey consists of invertebrates and you'll want to offer a good mix through the week for the best nutrition. This can include whole small clams/mussels, small crabs, krill, squid chunks, shrimp, and occasional fish like silversides.

-Enrichment: these are smart animals, which is the appeal! But even when you're not interacting with them the octopus is going to need things to interact with. This can be puzzle feeders, toys to take apart, plastic jars, frozen whole small clams/crabs, octopus popsicles made of frozen saltwater with food inside (which will also make a mess of your water as it melts!) and then you need to change up the items offered or add multiple items through the day.

So overall I would say it's possible to keep an octopus ethically as a pet if you're already an experienced aquarium hobbyist who is able to do a specialized system and the extra routine of enrichment. But the money, time, effort, money, and MONEY involved just makes them not really worth it as a pet. And each one has a different personality, so there is no guarantee that you'll have an octopus that has any interest in human interaction.

[teamdilf]

AO3 Ask Game

I was tagged by @commander-krios! Rules: Give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits, Most kudos, Most comments, Most bookmarks, Most words, and Least words.

🥇 Most Hits/Kudos:

Come Back Alive - Mass Effect - Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

411 Kudos/24,363 hits

They’re inching towards the final battle and Shepard and Garrus are making arrangements in the likely event they do not survive. Even if they can’t save themselves, they may be able to save Garrus’ family…

Then, seriously wounded during the battle, they’re separated by light years, unsure if the other has survived. They fight to survive, not knowing whether their partner lives or is waiting for them at the bar.

A story spanning from the final weeks before London to the first years after the end of the war.

🥇 Most Comments:

545 comments Come Back Alive once again! It's my most popular fic by a fairly wide margin.

🥇 Most Bookmarks:

It's also Come Back Alive, with 45 bookmarks, but I'll include my second most bookmarked story to change things up a bit!

Cerberus HR Presents: Sexual Harassment in the Workplace - a Miranda Lawson Seminar - Mass Effect - Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

30 bookmarks

After an incident perpetuated by an unnamed crew member (Kenneth; we all know it’s Kenneth), Cerberus HR, in a bid to protect crew safety and morale, forces Miranda to put on a sexual harassment seminar.

The crew, of course, acts in an entirely mature fashion and there are absolutely no shenanigans whatsoever.

🥇 Most Words:

The Twins - Greedfall - Female De Sardet/Vasco, Male De Sardet/Constantin

286,774 words

It’s always been the two of them, Constantin and Mother. As a teenager Loïc De Sardet sold his soul to his uncle to protect Constantin, his secret lover. While skilled in politics, he is callous and cruel. He is the new Legate of the Congregation of Merchants.

His twin sister, Elizabet, has never drawn attention. She’s the spare; disinterested in politics and worse, poor at navigating the world she lives in. Never content, she endures, until meeting a Naut sea captain who challenges everything she once thought about life...

🥇 Least Words:

Smoking Grass and Scorched Earth - Mass Effect - Castis Vakarian & Alec Ryder

420 words

Castis and Alec are stoned and talk about military history, as one often does when intoxicated.

Written for the Shrimp Skwad Surprise Challenge 004: Blaze it.

Tagging whoever wishes to complete this!

#Ask Games #AO3 #j's fics #thank you!