#since i have basically nothing better to do

[toournextadventure]

hate crime

Summary: No one knows what happened to Ghostface after his initial onslaught on New York City. Unfortunately for the population, he didn't disappear; he just got better.

Word Count: 3.6k Warnings: swearing, Scream violence, suggestive themes Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader (movie night & a novel life masterlist)

Rainy nights in New York City were the best. They gave way to those calm nights in the apartment that led to soft evenings and the best sleep of the week. If one was lucky, they would be able to grab a bite at Sofia’s and really live it up. A nice night, movies on the TV, and a half-finished pie on the counter? What else could a girl want?

A date. Cassidy wanted a date. Her boyfriend wasn’t a prick, but he was just stupid enough to not know the basics of a relationship. For instance, it was raining on a Saturday night? You invite your fucking girlfriend over so you can both get fucking laid. It wasn’t fucking rocket science. But no, he just had to watch the game with his fucking friends, and leave her to do absolutely nothing in her empty ass apartment.

Instead, she was alone. All alone, watching some shitty movie while he was probably having the time of his life.

Prick.

Well, at least she had ice cream to accompany her. A delicious pint of raspberry cheesecake. Just one bite was enough to transport her to heaven, and she would argue with anyone who thought otherwise. It had been long enough since Cassidy had put it in the freezer that it was just hard enough to make a nice bite, but not too hard to put up a fight.

It was perfect.

Cassidy’s phone vibrated loudly on the counter when she opened the cutlery drawer. It wasn’t all that unusual to get calls at odd hours; work, school, and friends made sure she kept her phone available at all times. And she answered them. So it was instinctual to pick up the phone and accept the call as she fished out a spoon and closed the drawer.

“I’m not interested,” she said before her friend on the other end could even speak.

“Uh, that’s good,” an unknown voice answered, “because I’m not selling.”

Cassidy’s brows narrowed. “Who is this?” She put the spoon in her mouth as she waited for an answer. A warm spoon was optimal for ice cream.

“A friend of a friend,” the voice said. It was hard to tell if it was a guy or a girl. “They dared me to call.”

“Friend of a friend?” She hummed, thinking about who it could be. “Was it David?”

The person on the other end of the line laughed. “I’m sworn to secrecy.”

“I knew it, that prick,” she sighed. It was no surprise it was David, he would do anything for a cheap laugh. “What do you get out of this shitty prank anyway?”

“Well, it depends,” the voice answered.

Cassidy leaned forward on her counter and smiled to herself. “On what?”

“How long I can keep you on the call,” they said, matching her tone. “Wanna split the $60?”

“Well,” she said, drawing the word out far longer than necessary as she grabbed her pint of ice cream and made her way to the living room. “I guess I can’t turn down $30.”

Cassidy pressed the phone between her cheek and shoulder while she moved. Her hip bumped against the recliner, but it didn’t phase her; she hit it more often than not. As she sat down in the chair, she could hear similar shuffling on the other end of the line. Nothing about it phased her.

“So,” the caller said, drawing out the “o” for far too long. “You doing anything exciting tonight?”

Cassidy chuckled humourlessly. “Yeah, me, myself, and I are really living it up.” She put a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and left it there as she turned on Scary Movie 5. How exciting.

“Well,” the caller said with a barely hidden laugh, “what are the three of you doing tonight?”

“A Scary Movie marathon.” She took another bite of her ice cream. “Probably for the fifth time this semester.”

“So you like them.”

“Love them,” she answered instantly. “I could watch them all day.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well, then what’s your favourite Scary Movie?”

Cassidy looked down at her ice cream and scraped the spoon over the top. That was a pretty good question. The humour in each movie was top tier to her, and that wasn’t negotiable. She couldn’t compare them on that aspect because they all depended on which movies they were making fun of. But there was one movie that stood out from all the rest, she supposed.

“Probably the first one,” she finally said. “It’s a classic.”

“Isn’t that the one based on those Stab movies?”

“That’s the one,” she said with a singular nod that no one could see.

The movie continued to play on the screen.

“Have you ever seen the Stab movies?”

“Fuck no,” Cassidy said before the unknown voice could even finish the question. “Horror movies give me the creeps. Especially when they’re based on real people.” A minuscule shiver wracked her body as if to prove her point.

She heard a deep breath on the other end of the line. “You know, you really should watch the original.” Another breath. “It’s to die for.”

Something about the tone of that last sentence put Cassidy on edge. Perhaps it was simply because she was home alone while the storm continued to rage outside. None of her friends talked like that. Sure, this person was a friend of a friend, but it was still a bit odd.

This person was a bit odd. Was the $30 really worth talking to a weirdo all night? She could be settled with a blanket and paying attention to her movie. But no, she just had to answer the phone and accept a shitty deal. She would need to tell Heather about this whole weird situation later.

“Hey, how much longer until we get that money from David?” Cassidy asked. She couldn’t stop thinking about that last thing the person had said, but she chose to try and ignore it.

“Just a few more minutes,” the caller said in a breathy tone. It was creepy. “Which movie are you watching?”

“What?”

“For your marathon,” they clarified. “Which one?”

“Oh,” she chuckles humourlessly. Nervously.

She wasn’t so sure she wanted to tell the truth anymore. There was an uncomfortable feeling settling in her stomach. She hesitantly placed the half-empty pint of ice cream on the side table, soon accompanied by the spoon she had licked clean.

“The third one,” she finally answered.

“No you’re not.” A lump forced its way into her throat. “That’s the fifth.”

Her entire body was frozen while the words ran laps around her mind. What the hell was going on? Her nerves felt like they were engulfed in fire, leaving her simultaneously too hot and frozen. That wasn’t right. The words didn’t form any proper reason in her mind, but she understood the sinking feeling it left in her chest.

“How do you know which movie I’m watching?” She asked as she slowly stood up from her chair.

A heavy breath. “Because I can see your screen.”

As soon as the words pieced together in her head, Cassidy ran to her balcony window. The curtains were closed. They weren’t the only windows into her apartment, but they were the only ones that faced the TV. As far as she knew, no other window could see her screen; a deliberate furnishing choice on her part.

“Listen,” she said breathlessly as she stared at the closed curtains. “I’ll tell David we talked all night if you want.” There was no response. “You can even keep all the money.”

A taunting laugh.

“I never said I talked to David.”

Shit. Shit shit shit. She knew she should have hung up at first. Who the hell was this freak? It was New York City, there were plenty of freaks around, but this? This was just psychotic. Nobody in their right mind would do this shit!

She quickly tucked the phone between her cheek and shoulder again and grabbed the curtains with both hands-

“-Open it and I’ll slit your fucking throat.”

They wouldn’t. They couldn’t. How would they even get into the apartment? She froze and reconsidered. How else could they have known what was on her TV? God, what was going on? She thought about the ramifications for far too long before letting go of the curtains. They shifted for a few moments before finally settling back into place.

“Who are you?” Cassidy’s voice was weak.

“You assumed our mutual friend was David.” She waited impatiently. “But surely you haven’t forgotten our dear friend Anika.”

Cassidy laughed bitterly. “Are you fucking serious?” She stomped through the apartment to grab the ice cream and dirty spoon. “Did that loser and her freak girlfriend put you up to this?” She practically threw the ice cream back into the freezer. “Because it’s pathetic.”

Of course that freak had caused this. She hadn’t bullied Anika and Mindy for nothing. Cassidy was a patient soul, it was true, but even she had her limits. No one wanted to hear those weirdos talk about stupid movies 24/7, especially when it wasn’t necessary. Didn’t they know there were better, more important things in the world?

“Those are some strong opinions to have,” the caller said over the sound of the spoon hitting Cassidy’s sink. “Especially for someone in your position.”

She rested her hip on the counter. “And what position would that be?”

“You can open your balcony window now, Cassidy.”

The curtains of the balcony were swaying. If she strained her ears, she could hear the rain falling a little louder. Would it be smart to open the curtains and see what was out there? Or maybe she should just hang up, call the police, and let them deal with it. After all, the police had never done anything wrong to her, surely she could trust them.

But she wanted to know. She wanted to know what those freaks had managed to pull off all on their own. Cassidy wouldn’t have called them stupid; at least not Anika. But there was no way she would have said any of them were smart. They were all just a bunch of down on their luck kids who had gotten into Blackmoore out of pity, not intellect.

Whether she had fully intended to or not, she let her feet carry her toward the balcony. As she got closer, she could hear the rain and wind clearly; the balcony window was open behind the curtains.

“How do you know my name?” She asked even though it was a stupid question. If this person was friends with Anika, then that was how they knew.

Still.

“Everyone knows your name.”

She reached out and grabbed the curtain with both hands.

“Or they’re about to.”

Cassidy closed her eyes, threw the curtains open, and screamed. She used every ounce of breath and energy in her body to release the most blood curdling scream she could manage. But when she opened her eyes, the scream died down in her throat.

There was nothing on the balcony. The door was open, but there was nothing there. Not in the doorway, not on the actual balcony, and not across the street. Hell, the only thing she could see was the poor potted plant that she had let die last year and hadn’t thrown out yet.

This was all just some sick joke.

“You know, this is really pathetic,” Cassidy said calmly even though her heart was still pounding in her chest. “I’m calling the cops.”

“Fine, call them.” She grabbed her phone and looked for the “end call” button. “They’ll find out all about your dirty little secret.”

She froze.

“Turn around, Cassidy.”

Her heart was beating loudly in her ears. Mixed with the rain and wind coming in through the open balcony window that she couldn’t bring herself to close, it was deafening. She didn’t want to turn around. She didn’t want to see what could possibly be hiding behind her. It could all be some cruel joke and the apartment could be empty.

Or not.

She took a few short, quick breaths and braced herself before finally turning around quickly, nearly tripping over her own feet. There, in the middle of her apartment, was Heather. Heather, the best fuck she’d ever had, tied up in the chair like a piece of meat. There was a gash on her head that was dripping blood into her eyes, but aside from that there weren’t any other physical injuries.

“Heather?” Cassidy said in disbelief.

“Please help me,” Heather cried. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

Cassidy dropped the phone without hanging up. She didn’t care anymore. All of this had gone too far. Those creeps had crossed too many lines. Messing with her? Fine. It was pathetic, but fine. But finding her secret hookup? Didn’t they know she had a reputation? What would her boyfriend think if he found out? Actually, he would probably think it was hot. Maybe that was worse.

“Did Anika do this to you?” She asked as she attempted to untie the knots in the rope. It was probably the first time in her life she had ever regretted having acrylics.

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Heather said with a sniffle. A drop of blood fell onto the rope. “Her and her geek friends are obsessed with this shit.”

“We’ll call the cops later,” Cassidy said. “I’m tired of their freaky, “poor us” bullshit.”

The ropes weren’t budging, and her fingers were feeling raw. How had they managed to do such a thorough job so quickly? Perhaps because, like she had known from the very beginning, they were all a bunch of freaks. A bunch of freaks who had no lives, no real friends, and no chance of living like normal people. She smirked to herself. They’d have one hell of a time getting any sort of job after college if she had anything to say about it-

-the floor creaked.

Cassidy’s fingers froze. There was only one place in her apartment that the floor creaked. And it wasn’t underneath her or Heather. She looked up slowly. First she saw Heather, sitting there impatiently and waiting for her to get her out. Then the gash on Heather’s face.

Then the cloaked figure standing behind her.

Then the Ghostface mask shrouded in a black hood.

The Ghostface tilted his head at her. She couldn’t move. It felt like the air had frozen in her lungs. She just had to kneel there and watch as he lifted a gloved hand with a giant knife and waved at her with two fingers. The knife was huge. His free hand lifted just as slowly and pushed the mask back inch by inch until she could see the bottom of his face.

The smile was accentuated by the deep scars stretching across both cheeks.

Cassidy opened her mouth to scream before something came from behind her and pressed against her throat.

She never made a sound.

—---

The pool of blood slowly inched across the tarp that had been carefully arranged underneath the two college girls. It was wide enough to catch any accidental splatter, yet thick enough to keep it from spilling out. A wise purchase for a wise killer. Or two.

Ghostface stepped forward, standing over the corpses. It wasn’t their proudest moment; there had been a few hitches in the plan. But when the result was the same, well, they supposed it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. They grabbed the mask and yanked it off.

“You jumped the gun,” Tara said breathlessly. The adrenaline was still running through her veins; she had grown to love it.

The second Ghostface removed their mask next.

“I know,” you said with a sigh. “I’m sorry.” You looked down at the corpses of your enemies with glee and disgust. “She’s just such a bitch.”

You both continued to stand there, neither one daring to make the first move. The silence after a kill was one of the more satisfying moments to you. No more screaming, no more steel cutting through flesh. Just the sounds of your breathing and the blood rushing through your ears.

“I didn’t know they were gay,” you finally said. “Or closeted, I guess.”

“I think Mindy said they were experimenting,” Tara speculated. “They both tried to hit on Anika at one point.”

You hummed in response and continued to look at them. Not that you had stopped. That was the one thing you didn’t think you would ever really get used to. Sure, your family business was… a bit risque on its own, but this was different. You would argue with Dicky all day every day, but knife wounds were more gruesome than gunshots.

“Does this make us homophobic?” You asked. “Was this a hate crime?”

“I-” Tara stopped and closed her mouth. It made you feel a little better that she had to think about it too. “No,” she finally said with a slow nod. “We’re doing the world a favour.”

You smiled. “God, I love you.”

“Love me while we clean up,” she demanded even though you saw her smile. “Get moving.”

The cleanup process, all of you agreed, was the worst part. It was methodical, time consuming, and boring. You would much rather spend the time with Tara, not cleaning up after the two bitches that bullied all of you like you were still in fucking highschool. Truly, it was almost embarrassing for them. You didn’t want to clean up after their mess again.

But you liked the time you got with Tara. Since the whole original Ghostface debacle, she had lightened up. She still bullied you, but honestly? It was a turn on. You wouldn’t dare tell her to stop. If there ever came a day that you didn’t want Tara Carpenter to bully you? It would be the end of the world.

Cleaning up with Sam, however, was a beast.

That’s why you stuck with Tara. Not just because you loved her, of course, but it was a wonderful bonding activity. You hadn’t wanted to bring her into the family business because, well, that was just dangerous. But this? It was nice. And honestly? It got the both of yours adrenaline going and usually led to some of the best date nights.

…

Maybe you both needed more therapy.

“The scary movie question was clever,” you said after you had finally managed to haul the tarp - and the corpses - to the trash chute.

“Thank you,” Tara said with a genuine smile. “I’m pretty proud of it.”

“You should be,” you encouraged. “I thought Cassidy was gonna hear me laughing.”

“You would’ve been sleeping on the couch,” Tara replied. She was serious, but you knew the truth; she would’ve slept on the couch with you.

The next stage of cleaning was far easier on the back. It was basic cleaning, to make the apartment look lived in, but not abandoned. And certainly not like a murder had occurred. Or, you supposed it was a double murder. God, you still couldn’t get over how much of a bitch Cassidy and Heather were. You really did feel a million pounds lighter now that they were gone.

“You know,” you said as you rested your hip on the counter while Tara made sure no fingerprints were anywhere. “Blood looks really good on you.”

“Shut up,” she said quickly. You still saw the blush on her cheeks.

You weren’t lying though. The dark, now-dried blood was a wonderful match to her eyes. It also looked lovely on her skin. You couldn’t really explain what it was; maybe it was the taboo of it all (you definitely needed more therapy). Whatever it was, it was almost like she was glowing.

Maybe you were just in love.

Tara was still checking the kitchen counter when you stepped up behind her and wrapped your arms around her waist. Her body seemed to relax in your arms. Like instinct, she leaned back into you and you could hold her closer. You were like two pieces to the same puzzle; your bodies fit perfectly together.

“It’s kinda hot,” you said before placing a kiss on her cheek. She tasted faintly of copper.

“You’re just deranged,” she said softly.

“Only for you,” you said. Your next kiss was placed on her jaw.

“We can’t do this here,” she said with a sigh. “We’re almost done.”

“We haven’t cleaned the bedroom yet,” you offered. “And I’ve got another tarp in my bag.”

She didn’t argue.

“Think of it as an extra “fuck you” to Cassidy,” you continued. “We both know how much you hated her.”

Your arm pulled her tighter against you as you placed a third kiss right behind her ear. Just going off her silence alone, you knew she would cave. Tara did her best to keep things professional on the scene, but you knew how to win her over. And you knew how much she loved it.

“Okay,” she finally said. Whether she was aware of it or not, her head tilted to give you more access to her neck. “But only a quickie.”

“Seeing you like this?” You said as you bent down and swept an arm under her knees. She shrieked lightly before wrapping her arms around your neck. “I don’t think I could last very long anyway.”

You carried her to your bag and bent down so she could grab it before heading directly to the bedroom.

In the background, the credits of Scary Movie 5 rolled on the TV.

#tara carpenter x reader #tara x reader #tara carpenter #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega

[nana-b0b]

》🔞 These panels are censored, you can go to the last of the post to find out where to see them!

A little historical info to better understand:

♡♡♡♡♡!!! I really feel happy and overcome with these panels, I was thinking a lot about how to make them since there were several obstacles: I had never drawn something NSFW before as it should be 😅 I never got that far so to speak, there was always a line that prevented me from taking that step, since it is not the same to draw some small scene where you only see something specific to a whole pose as such and all that implies. But after many ideas and turns I managed to take that step (maybe small for some but for me it was like reaching the moon 😂) and the most important and most feared was that the essence of the drawings and the style would be lost but I could keep it well and make it coexist ♡.

Note: as for the text accompanying the panels I want to say that it's not my best work as a narrator hahaha I don't write anything since I was about fifteen and it was my era of fanfics and stuff, so I feel its very basic and empty! 😅 ♥!

Now, let's talk a bit about the panels! Well, as we all knew this moment was coming, it was no surprise -3- Ryomen really had to be patient to get what he had been thinking for a while, but he didn't want it to be something random as it could be with any woman he wanted, he was really curious to see how Aurora could look like with the full appearance of a lady of the Heian era and when he saw her, he just couldn't resist. One thing will be clear: Aurora won't wear black teeth again, there will be no way to paint her teeth again without someone losing a limb. As for her eyebrows: she's really mad about that, but I'll let it go.

And to close this post I come with a novelty (I've been thinking about this for days) now we are going to be able to have these drawings completely uncensored on patreon.

I'm not going to lie, using more than two social networks for me is already a lot 😥 if it were up to me I would only post everything in one place but we know how the rules are and we have to respect them, if just by showing a nipple (which is a pixel 😂 ) they almost censored me on Instagram I knew this would be difficult and Tumblr is not lagging behind, while there are things that it lets pass there are others that it doesn't and it's not nice to have to make such complex drawings so that the AI doesn't detect them as 🔞 since there comes a certain point that you get tired too and it loses the grace.

My patreon will be the place for all my works 🔞 without any censorship already, you are going to be able to enjoy both public and private content depending on the type of work ♡. I think also for me it's an incentive to be able to start letting go more of my ideas and continue with everything I want to do :)

To say goodbye first I want to always thank you for all the support you give me and all your messages 🖤 and second to warn you that this CAP of Ren will be in patreon already published privately but all the other censored drawings are public for you to see and enjoy them as they should ⭐

Here are the publications that I censored and that you can now see, there are not many at the moment x'D

#sketch #jjk #jujutsu fanart #sukuna ryomen #jjk oc #ransketch #sukuna #jujutsu kaisen

[twst-drabbles]

Floyd 11

Summary: You were smoking by the window when Floyd decided now would be an amazing time to dive into the pool you had installed. In his full form. And now he won’t stop looking at you for attention. Haa, you know what, you were in need of a distraction anyway.

(Hehehe the subject is rather heavy, but Floyd is as Floyd does, saying things seemingly vague but not really. Cheeky eel.)

You’ve been working on getting rid of the habit, you swear. Sure sure, you don’t exactly look convincing when you’re leaning on the window sill, packet of cigarettes at hand as though they never left your side and taking gentle drags like you’re trying to savor it, but this was your first cig in a while. You had this same pack for about a few months.

It’s slow going, but you’re going. Soon you’ll stop. Soon you’ll be at the point where you’ll just forget the urge to reach for your lighter. But not today. There’s too much energy in your spine and your head has been itching. Waiting. Like it’s anticipating something even though there’s nothing.

Haa… you don’t understand this. You don’t know how to fix this.

You took a slow drag and breathed out. Something within you quieted a bit and you couldn’t help but close your eyes. Wind drifted over your face. It was nice. Relaxing.

Then you heard a splash. You and your cigarette were drenched in water.

“Hey!”

You opened your eyes to see a large Floyd lounging on his slick tail, lazily waving at you like he didn’t have the energy to do anything more, despite his big, toothy grin.

You snorted out water then sighed at the sight of your useless cigarette. You dropped it in the ash tray.

You thought you were alone, since everyone is usually doing their own thing outside or in their pocket homes, but you guess you can’t always rely on the convince of routine to keep you safe. Floyd saw you, clearly, and intentionally made a splash at you.

Floyd, when he first saw you, wanted in on this bad habit of yours. But, when you said no, he basically made it his job to stop you when he sees you. It’s easy to see it as him being childish. ‘If I can’t have it, you can’t either,’ type of thing, but that’s not quite it, now is it?

You want to get rid of this bad habit, so Floyd will be the menace to get you to slow down and stop. Weird, weird eel.

Well, not like you can ask for anything else. This too was something you appreciated, as annoying as he can be.

So, when you finally noticed that Floyd’s eyes have never once left you, you figured it would best to join him, if only to keep yourself from scratching that addicting itch.

“So,” Floyd slithered right next to your knees as soon as you sat down, “what’s bothering ya? You haven’t been that careless in a while, so what’s got you smoking right where I can see you?”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” you splashed your hands, attempting to scrub out a spot in your palm, only to find that that’s just another scar that won’t fade, “It just feels like something’s nagging at me. Kinda wound up. Tight. Can’t tell you why that is, though.”

“So that’s what made you smoke?” Floyd dragged his upper body out, not caring for the water that surged and soaked your clothes, “’Cause you can’t think of anything else that’ll make you feel better?” He picked at a loose thread laying on your thigh, pulled, then snapped it off. Another place for your clothes to fray open.

Lot of them have been falling apart, actually. Huh. You never noticed how worn out your clothes have been. Guess they’re just too old to handle any more stress.

“Don’t do that,” you said, though you did nothing to stop his claws from tugging the loose end of your shorts, “Well, I guess. It just easier to de-stress with a pack around and a lighter in your pocket. Not like I know anything that’ll help me.”

You had hobbies but those become hard to keep up with when you spent all that time just looking for your lost ones. And trying to get back into them, you know you’ll be frustrated at the decay in skills. So you’d rather not bother.

“Hmm,” Floyd lowered his head and plopped it right on your lap. He started to playfully tap your knuckles with his claws. “What about me?”

His tail exited the water and curled around you.

“What about you?” you grabbed his hand and gently pushed against the webbing between his fingers. He really had the gall to pretend to think about it, like there were no other choices for him to pick from.

“You can use me,” Floyd’s smile was small, cheeky as he basically trapped you in his tail, “in any way you like. That’ll help get the stress out, right?”

You can take a guess as to what he’s talking about.

You chuckled as you leaned back.

“Alright, then I’ll use you to rest my back,” you smiled at the frown that spread on Floyd’s face, “Resting is also de-stressing.”

“…you’re no fun.” Floyd grumbled but didn’t fight it.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst-drabbles #ask #drabble #octavinelle #floyd #floyd leech #reader insert #sanctuary au

[birdbrainedboy]

I’m obsessed with this show and fear a hyperfixation anyways here are my thoughts on every character in the show

Edwin Paine: forever my favorite, even back before the show when I read the comics! I think it’s funny that basically every man in the show wants him? I’m intrigued by his character arc throughout the story regarding his sexuality as despite dying in 1916, he seems to have had time to slowly become more accepting of gay people (I’m guessing in part due to Charles, who is pansexual), to the point where there’s only mild internalized homophobia if at all, which just exhibits itself in him denying any possible feelings for Monty. I love how face-value and logical he is while still being a sweetheart

Charles Rowland: he has a pan flag pin on his jacket which confuses me bc can ghosts only wear clothes they would’ve worn when they were alive, or how do ghost clothes work? Because he died in 1989 and I’m near positive he didn’t wear that pin back there. Anyways I do love him but I wonder about some design choices, like the one earring (not sure why it just kinda annoys me). That was more a rant abt his design than his character, which I have nothing notable to say abt since I LOVE HIM he’s so real

Crystal Palace: sometimes she was a bit annoying the way she was trying way too hard to pry into everyone’s lives, but honestly that was just momentary annoyance since nothing could make me hate her. I love how her past was slowly revealed (as someone who already knew it from the comics) and how she came to terms with the person she used to be vs the person she is now. She’s so cool!

David the demon: honestly kind of caught me off guard at first bc the person I’m dating is named David but I actually enjoyed his character. LOVED when Crystal dealt with him in the end. He was very interesting

Niko Sasaki: I love Niko, but I have some problems with her character. First of all, I feel like ditsy anime-loving cutesy Asian girl with dyed hair is a weirdly common trope? But whatever my main issue is that it feels like characters who normalize the fetishization of gay men are so common. Like if Niko had been a guy obsessed with lesbian manga evb would be weirded out, so why is it different? If we ignore all of this tho I absolutely adore her and I’m actually praying she’s in the next season bc she was one of my favorites (esp her relationship w Edwin)

Jenny: She is so hot and cool and funny I’m in love with her

Esther: oh my god words cannot come close to describing how much I love her character. She felt powerless and weak in the past and now she’s become obsessed with making sure nobody has that power over her ever again. She was so fun and I loved her attitude! I’m sure she won’t show up next season, as she was the main antagonist of s1, and while I love her, I kind of hope she doesn’t since I think her arc was finished.

Monty: His personality was like 2020 “soft boy” who acts nice and dumb but is lowkey a manipulator. So obviously this kind of made me like ☠️ bc why is he acting like that… but I still love him to bits because he’s just a crow guys he didn’t ask to be human,, Anyways yeah his personality annoys me but also I love him so much so? It’s confusing. ITS COMPLICATED. I will cry if he’s not in s2

Kingham and Litty: I honestly thought they were annoying but I can’t lie they were so fucking funny. Every time they were on screen I laughed.

Cat King: oh my god. He is so camp. I love him. There’s honestly not much to say he is simply iconic. Love how he’s afraid to be alone so chases after other people, he’s so real AGHH I love him

Night Nurse: Ruth Connell the woman you are… 😍 she reminds me of Muriel from Good Omens, in a way, and I love her! I really hope we get to see more of her in relation to the guy in the fish, and see her get to better understand human emotions and why they choose to cling onto the human world rather than pass on!

#dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #crystal palace surname von hoverkraft #crystal palace #niko sasaki #david the demon #neil gaiman #esther #monty crow #cat king #night nurse #good omens

[livingformintyoongi]

The Han Family | Min Yoongi

Summary: You and Yoongi were together during high school. He was only a year older than you, but that never mattered to you. You both fit in perfectly; you had the cheerfulness and positivity that Yoongi lacked, and he had the patience and seriousness that you lacked. You were together until Yoongi entered his second year of college, both of you decided to end on good terms. You never stopped loving him, and deep down you thought he hadn't completely forgotten you either. Despite keeping that deep love that you were sure you would never get over, you decided to go on with your life, seeing more people, having more casual loves, until the arrival of Jumyeon, the Han's eldest son, and the person who would end up signing your death sentence. It had been more than 10 years since you last saw Yoongi, and meeting him again because of your father-in-law's murder was definitely not the way you expected to see him again. wc: 2.9k

You were upset, no, probably upset would be putting it mildly, you were furious. You couldn't believe that your boyfriend, the one you wasted four fucking years of your life for, was cheating on you for over two years, and worse, with his best friend, that same girl he practically forced you to meet because he wanted his girlfriend and best friend to be close. At least his "friend" had the basic human decency to confess to you that she was messing with him for years. 

"I picked your favorite restaurant, I had a hard time making a reservation" Jumyeon said, smiling at you as cheerfully as possible. You almost grimaced, but you tried to control yourself, you were supposed to be a mature woman, for god's sake, you were almost 30, you should be able to have control over yourself.

"Thank you, that's a very nice gesture" you murmured, drinking all the wine in your glass. This didn't even make it into the top 10 of your favorite restaurants. You hated the way they cooked their meat, and you knew the owner in person (who was close friends with Jumyeon), it wasn't much better than their supposedly quality food.

You looked at the large window next to you. The only thing worthwhile about this place was the view of the Han River. It was a sight worth seeing.

"I already placed the order, so all we have left to do is wait" he pulled out his phone for a second, but put it away as quickly as he took it. You assumed she was his mistress, or should you say "friend"?

"Okay" you leaned forward, resting your head on your hands. You wanted to wait for the right moment to tell him, as gently as possible, to go fuck himself.

You listened to him ramble on about his job for what seemed like hours. You had never cared about his work, but at least you heard him, you had the basic respect for him that couples should have. Now that he had disrespected you in such a way, why listen to his complaints? You owed him nothing, no more.

"Oh, thanks for the food," your boyfriend said in a cheerful tone. 

Only then did you pay attention to what was in front of you. The waiter lifted the plate cover carefully, looking at both of you at the same time. He was probably a hopeless romantic.

Unlike him, you just felt nauseous enough to make you lean forward. This man seriously sucked.

"Y/N" he approached you, pulling a red velvet box out of his pocket. "These years by your side have been the happiest of my life" If he was so happy, why did he cheat on you? "I knew you would be the love of my life the moment I saw you", and that's why he was so eager for you to change to his liking instead of letting you be yourself, "and I couldn't have been more right, because, honestly, I can't see a future where you're not" he sank to one knee, bringing out a ring that looked way too ostentatious. You wanted to throw it in his face. "And I know deep down you feel the same way I do, so please do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the world. Marry me."

You stared at him, clenching your fists so tightly that your palms were starting to hurt. You turned to look at the dessert the waiter had camouflaged with the plate cover. A big "Will you marry me?" was written in the center. 

And suddenly, your immature side came out. You could no longer contain your urge to punch this jerk.

"Marry you?" you muttered, taking the small cake with which he tried to propose to you. You smiled almost helplessly. "Did you seriously just ask me that?".

Jumyeon laughed, standing up from the floor and looking at you with a shit-eating grin.

"Well, I know you'll say yes, but I thought that-".

You didn't let him continue, you didn't want to keep hearing his voice, so you did the first thing that popped into your head. You threw the dessert in his face and scrubbed it until there was nothing left. And, my god, it felt so satisfying.

"How can you ask me that after spending the afternoon with your so-called friend?" you growled, leaving the plate of cake on the table. "Are you so unmanly that you need to play with two women at once!?".

You ignored the murmurs from the audience, you didn't want to draw their attention, but you were too upset to speak softly, and he was the one who decided to do this in a public place.

"What? Is your brain not capable of coming up with excuses in such a short time?" you swept him with your eyes, feeling disgusted. "Never mind, I have no interest in listening to your lies anymore anyway." 

You grabbed your purse and pulled out your wallet, throwing a few bills in his face, "So you can pay the bill." 

And you left, ignoring his screams and insults. 

And, for the first time in years, you felt free.

You smiled big as you approached the elevator, and when you came within shouting distance of excitement, a guy a little taller than you knocked you to the floor. 

You complained quietly, taking the hand he offered you, but not seeing his face. You were too happy to complain to him.

"Sorry, I didn't look where I was walking" you gave a little bow, ready to leave. Until you felt a hand stop on your wrist.

"Y/N?"

For the first time since you collided you noticed the man standing in front of you, and shit, how you wished you hadn't crossed paths with him just then.

"Yoongi" you muttered, feeling your throat dry. He looked even more beautiful than the last time you saw him. 

"You look... different" he said softly, letting go of your wrist, but not taking his gaze away from you.

"You too" you tried to smile, but you felt too uncomfortable to do so.You were embarrassed for Yoongi to see you like this. "You're back to black" you hastened to say, pointing to his hair. 

It looked much longer and shinier than the last time you saw it, and it fit him like a glove. If his intention was to make women like you want to tangle their fingers in it, he had more than succeeded.

"And you cut it" he moved his hand up to your mane. Your hair reached only a few inches below your chin, a far cry from the long, unruly style you had when you were still his girlfriend and you swore to him that you would never cut it because it was your most prized possession.

Now you feel even sillier.

"I wanted to try a new style" you nodded quickly, fiddling with the strap of your purse.You were back to feeling like a stupid teenager incapable of talking to the boy she likes. To a certain extent it was true. You were never able to get over Yoongi, you don't think you ever will at some point."But I didn't like it as much as I thought I would" you sighed, tightening the strap on your bag.

"You-?"

"Chaeyoung!" your now ex-boyfriend shouted as he ran in the direction of you and Yoongi. It didn't escape your notice that before he noticed Yoongi's presence, he was coming over annoyed enough to slap you. You saw his hand clenched tightly."What the hell was that ruckus earlier, do you know how many cameras were in the place, how many important people were there?".

"Well, maybe you should have thought your proposal through better" for a moment you completely forgot that it wasn't just the two of you in the hallway, but you didn't care.That son of a bitch deserved someone to put him in his place, and you wanted so badly to be that person yourself. "Or to have fucking zipped your pants when it belonged, or am I wrong? Because if so, say so to me and Minah for that matter, because she feels the same way I do too."

You watched as he fixed his gel-covered hair, turning away for a second to catch his breath."It was an accident, understand? It's not how she painted it."

"An accident over two years old? Can you explain to me how that works? Did you just happen to fall on her and coincidentally your penis went into her because you both happened to be unclothed in the same fucking hotel room?" you laughed listlessly, crossing your arms, "Don't you dare think I'm stupid enough to turn blind eyes to something that's been going on for years."

Yoongi, who had been silent until that moment, cleared his throat, moving forward to stand beside you. You took a breath, trying to maintain your composure in front of him. It was quite a difficult task.

"Are you Han Jumyeon by any chance?" he muttered in a monotone voice staring at your ex-boyfriend. It came to scare you a bit how cold his gaze seemed. Still you thought he was attractive.Very attractive.

"Yes" he looked at Yoongi from head to toe, he looked a little confused, but he was used to that kind of question. He was one of the most well-known businessmen in South Korea, he was in the news quite a bit, so it wasn't strange that he knew him. "Who are you?"

"Officer Min Yoongi" he pulled out his badge from his shirt pocket, "I am one of the people in charge of the investigation of Mr. Han's death, I need both you and your..." his gaze paused for a moment on you before turning back to Jumyeon, "ex-girlfriend come to the police station so I can question you."

"Did you say death?" you looked at Yoongi and then at Jumyeon, covering your mouth with your hand. You wished the worst for that... man, if that's what you could call him, but that didn't mean you wished his father had died in whatever circumstance. If Yoongi was involved in this, it meant it wasn't from natural causes. 

"What are you talking about? My father died? When? How?" he brought his hands to his hair, tugging on it lightly. "You said you were an officer, didn't you? So that means it wasn't an accident?"

You wondered internally if Yoongi saw the same twisted smile you saw.

You saw how he nodded slowly, his impassive gaze stopping on Jumyeon. He didn't seem to pity him, let alone empathize, in fact, if you still had your wonderfully useless abilities to understand Yoongi, he even seemed annoyed with him. Maybe he thought he was guilty? You would think so too after seeing the expression from earlier.

"As I told you before, I need to take you to the police station right now, we need to ask you a few questions regarding Mr. Han, I would appreciate it if you could cooperate as much as possible."

You nodded quickly, moving a little closer to Yoongi, "Did you come by car? Mine is in the parking lot."

"Don't worry, we'll go in mine," he murmured, barely brushing his fingers on your back, "go to the elevator first, I'll go next to Jumyeon."

You obeyed his command, walking to the elevator and waiting for it to reach your floor. You thundered your finger bones as you moved your left leg. You were still a bit in shock with the news, you were trying to think through your next move with Jumyeon, you didn't think things through very well before throwing the dessert in his face and shouting to the four winds that he was unfaithful to you with his best friend.

You turned to look at your ex-boyfriend, who stood next to Yoongi stiffly. He looked in your direction every so often, but averted his gaze immediately. Yoongi, on the other hand, kept his gaze fixed on you the entire time you were looking at them. It kept causing your stomach to churn and your heart to flip. 

The sound of the elevator forced you to look away from both men. To your surprise, no one was inside it, which, on the one hand, was wonderful, as you wouldn't have to put up with the strong smell of expensive perfume and conversations between strangers that sounded too empty. But, on the other hand, you had to be alone with those other two.

You shook your head, trying to get that stupid thought out of your head, and entered the elevator followed by Yoongi and Jumyeon. You convinced yourself that the tense atmosphere was due to the news Yoongi gave you, but deep down you knew it wasn't so. 

You knew your ex like the palm of your hand, you knew when he was genuinely sad and when he was not. You were aware that he wasn't feeling depressed at all, but he was angry, probably at you and whoever had attacked his father. You tried to avoid the idea of him being that way with you.

You brought your thumb to your mouth, biting your nail. Jumyeon's gaze on you was starting to feel too stinging and the fear started to grow as your head generated worst case scenarios. You had such a good imagination when it came to going against you.

The brush of fingers on your right hand made you jump in place. You turned to see who it was, and almost cried with happiness when you noticed it was only Yoongi. He discreetly caressed the knuckles of your hand, completely avoiding looking at you. 

You had forgotten how good it felt to have someone who could read your body language so easily that just by looking at you or listening to you, he would understand that you were having a hard time. Yoongi was the only person you dated who could accomplish that. Maybe that was one of the reasons why you still weren't able to forget him.

You stopped biting your nail, concentrating on Yoongi's touch on your skin. It brought back so many memories. 

"We'll talk at home about earlier" Jumyeon murmured, glancing sideways at you, "I think you're still a little confused."

"I'm not" you replied on impulse, staring at him, were you afraid? Obviously, was that going to stop you from telling him to his face? Of course not. "I gave you my answer, now act like a man for the first time in your life and accept it" you growled under your breath, holding back the urge you had to spit in his face.

You listened as Yoongi cleared his throat, and you knew he was doing it to camouflage his laughter. You didn't care, you would have done the same thing in his place.

"Stop fucking around and just say yes" Jumyeon turned to look at you, and if looks killed, you'd be on the floor, bleeding out, dying, you'd be a ghost. 

"Why don't you shut up? Your voice is annoying, it makes my head hurt" Yoongi muttered, this time taking your hand firmly. 

You internally prayed that Jumyeon wouldn't see it, you didn't want any more trouble than you already had.

The rest of the time in the elevator was in silence. Being so many floors it took you a few minutes to get down. They were the worst minutes of your life.

"We'll go in my car" Yoongi looked at Jumyeon before exiting the elevator. Holding hands with you. In front of him.

You saw out of the corner of your eye how his face distorted at the sight of your hands together. You reminded yourself that you didn't owe him any explanation. You had done nothing wrong, so why should you justify yourself? You nodded mentally, trying to encourage yourself.

Yoongi took out his key and unlocked his car. It was big and black, too shiny. You smiled as you remembered Yoongi always talked about how, when he had money, he would buy a nice apartment and a black car that looked so amazing that any teenager at his age would want one like that.

He let go of you for a moment only to open the passenger door and help you in. You screamed internally.

Jumyeon got in after you, to the back seats obviously, and before Yoongi got in and could hear him he came up to your ear.

"Wait till we get home, you fucking hypocritical bitch" he growled under his breath, returning to his seat as soon as Yoongi entered.

You looked down at your hands, staring at the nail you bit earlier. You didn't do anything wrong, you're not like him, you repeated yourself over and over, trying to ignore the pressure in your chest.

You leaned your head against the car window, watching as he started to move and head for the exit of the parking lot. You just closed your eyes, wanting to get to the station later to give your statement and get as far away from that man as possible.

You wiped away an unruly tear that dared to fall down your cheeks. He's not worth it, you told yourself, not anymore.

Masterlist

#TheHanFamily #bts x reader #bts x you #fanfic #bts fanfic #yoongi fic #bts imagine #bts x fem!reader #bts x y/n #bts x oc #fiction #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #min yoongi #yoongi #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x oc #suga x reader #suga x you #suga x y/n #bts fics #bts

[varpusvaras]

Leia stops at the middle of the room.

Fox stops as well, and they look at each other for a brief moment, before Leia unclips her lightsaber from her belt.

"Here", she says, and extends the saber to Fox. "Do you want me to go over basics, even though it looked liked you already knew what you were doing."

Fox raises an eyebrow at her.

"I think it's pretty instinctual for anyone who has any level of combat training, to know how to hold on to a weapon and wave it around", he says. "Though perhaps, that counts as me having the basics down."

"Definitely does", Leia says, and then thrusts the lightsaber closer to him. "Take it. I'm not going to lie, I'm not an expert either, since my source for most things regarding the Jedi has been either my brother and the stories my parents told me, but it's better than nothing."

"Considering your situation, I agree", Fox says. He finally reaches out, and takes the lightsaber carefully in his hand. He knows how to hold it the right way, just as Leia had seen before, and she suspects it's because he has seen more than one Jedi use them, despite the Guard not having a Jedi General assigned to them.

They do have her now, Leia's mind posits to her before she can think better of it. She is not a Jedi, nor is she aggined to the Guard officially, but she is a General, she has the Force, and the Guard is hers, now.

Close enough.

Leia nods at him.

"Ignite it", she says. Fox takes a slightly sturdier stance, before doing so.

The blade hums as it ignites, the sound feeling like a summer rain that precedes a thunderstorm. A weapon of protection, but a weapon still.

Leia listens to it for a moment, and smiles.

"It likes you", she tells him.

Fox looks at her, and then at the saber.

"Does it?" He asks. "Can you tell?"

"Yes. It feels at home in your hands, just as it does in mine", Leia explains. "The lightsaber itself is not sentient, as we think of what a sentient is, but as a sort of a conductor of the Force, the crystal in it forms a sort of bond to the wielder."

Fox tilts his head as he gives the saber a closer look.

"It's enough that it likes me?" He asks. "So that it doesn't care that it's me who is wielding it, and not you?"

Leia hesitates, before she answers.

"Mother and father would sometimes say that I remind them of you", she says. "Perhaps they were more correct than I thought."

Fox looks at her, then. There's a searching look in his eyes, though it's not unkind. Leia thinks he knows already, in a sense. Perhaps he has by now started to realise that there is something more in what he feels every time he thinks about her papa or mama.

Leia thinks she might have to tell him, if he asks. Answer yes if he asks if in the another life, that has already gone by for her but not yet arrived for them, he loved them.

Then, his eyes soften, and he hums.

"Clearly, they knew whose daughter you were", he says, a confirmation to everything. He smiles. It's just a quick flash, but a true one nevertheless.

Leia smiles back. She then straightens her back, and Fox does the same. It's time for business, now.

This time, she promises. For herself, for him, for everyone else. This time, they will win, right here.

#more of Leia time travel au! #what's this? lightsaber training? #what could it possibly mean? #you tell me! :) #my writing #snippets #leia time travel au #sw #tcw #Leia Organa #Commander Fox #bail/breha/fox (implied)

[golbrocklovely]

complicated // sam golbach

A/N: had an idea like this for quite sometime, and i was finally able to finish this fic. just so everyone's aware, there WILL be a part two. but it might not be in the way you think lol hope you enjoy this fic and lmk what you think :)

prompt: you and sam needed a stress relief, and if you couldn't get it from who you really wanted it from, second best was better than nothing at all. || sam golbach x fem!reader

trigger warning: SMUT, drunk sex, cursing, snc are both single in this fic, angst, finding comfort in each other, friends to lovers, kitchen sex, almost getting caught, mentions of babygirl, good girl, sam is using you and you are using sam

word count: 4020

~~~~~~~~~~~

To say my relationship with Sam and Colby was complicated was a bit of an understatement. But I had no one to blame, really, except for myself.

I had known them for years, being one of the first friends they made once they moved out to LA. We were always friendly with each other, and kept in contact over the years. Then one day, they told me about how they needed an assistant, someone that could help out behind the scenes as well as being in videos occasionally. Things fell into place perfectly, and I signed on to be their assistant. I moved out to Vegas with them, living in an apartment not too far away from their place.

God only knew why I even had my own place since I crashed at their house more often than not.

Our relationship never seemed all that complicated.... until one day. Something clicked in my head, and suddenly I became extremely aware of how attractive Colby was. His eyes, his smile, his voice. Sam, of course, was attractive too. But he always had Kat, so it was never appropriate for me to like him. But Colby... he was basically an eternal bachelor. So, it made total sense for me to like him.

And our friendship was a bit strange to begin with. We were both naturally flirty people, constantly hitting on one another whether sober or drunk; but especially when we were drunk. There were some close encounters with us, especially once we started opening up to one another. I could count on two hands how many times we had kissed, and on one how many times we had almost gone farther than that. But we never finished what we started.

The problem with Colby is I could never tell where we stood entirely. Sometimes, it seemed like I was all he wanted to pay attention to. Other times, he was with someone else, and wouldn't even glance my way. It was strange. He was always close, but somehow an arm's length away.

And some nights, I couldn't stand him. The back and forth, the cat and mouse game... It was exhausting, to say the least. Sometimes I just wanted to know how he felt. Exactly. With no add ons or extra shit. But with Colby, it was never that simple.

This was normal for us. But things changed once Sam became single, and both of the boys were out on the prowl. It was like their auras changed, and suddenly I was seeing them through different eyes.

I had no one to blame except myself. But at the same time, I didn't feel guilty.

If he can have fun, so can I.

~~~~

“But did you see him? He was basically humping the air!” Colby laughed, kicking his shoes off.

I followed him and Sam into the kitchen area, our usual hang out spot. “Oh my God, yes! It was almost like your old Vine.”

He groaned, “Please don't bring that-”

“Baby grinnnnndd oooon meeeeeee!” I sang dramatically, completely offkey.

He deadpanned, “I hate you so much.”

I faux gasped, clutching my nonexistent pearls. “Wha? How could you say that? I'm one of your best friends!”

“And you're about to be unemployed if you keep it up.” Colby crossed his arms defiantly. 

I narrowed my eyes. “You wouldn't.”

He smirked, “Try me.”

I turned away from him, yelling to my other best friend, “Sam! Tell Colby he can't just fire me because I'm making fun of him.”

Sam looked up from his phone, “Uh? I wasn't paying attention to what either of you were saying.”

“What are you doing?” I asked, dropping the topic.

He stared at me innocently, “...Trying to order Taco Bell.”

“Oh my God, Taco Bell.” Colby moaned, closing his eyes, “Oh, fuck.”

I grimaced, “Damn Colby, try not to come in your pants. It's just Taco Bell.”

“I'm sorry, I just get hard for Taco Bell.” Colby admitted casually.

Sam chimed in, “Dude, I get hard for Taco Bell too.”

I scrunched my face, “You guys are weird.”

Colby smiled playfully, walking away, “I'm gonna go change, order my regular?”

“Gotchu, brother.” Sam nodded.

I sighed, leaning against the island. I watched Sam scroll through his phone, clicking away at options for food.

“What do you want?” He asked.

I shrugged, “I don't know. Can I see your phone?”

“Come over here. I don't want to throw my phone.” He commented.

I huffed jokingly, walking over to him, taking it from his hand. "Well, someone's in a shitty mood."

“I'm not in a shitty mood. I'm tired, I'm drunk, and I'm very hungry. And I wish I ordered Taco Bell in the Uber home.” Sam replied, exacerbated.

“So... a shitty mood?” I repeated.

He grumbled, “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Is something the matter?” I questioned, still looking at the Taco Bell menu.

He paused, then finally spoke. “It's been a year.”

I glanced up, “A year?” 

“Since we... broke up.” He finally finished.

My eyes widened, putting his phone down on the counter. "Oh shit, I'm sorry Sam."

He exhaled, swatting at me, “It's okay.”

“No, we shouldn't have.... gone out tonight.” I half-heartedly argued.

“Why? So I could sulk at home over my failed relationship? I don't think that would have been any better.” He quipped.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“I don't know.” He leaned back, rubbing his eyes tirelessly, “It just feels weird, you know? I never thought I would be single again, so all of this just feels... off.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one struggling in the love department.” I remarked.

“What? You and your secret pining for Colby not working out for you?” Sam sassed.

I glared, sucking my teeth, You know, sometimes you can be a real ass.”

“What? Because I can see you like Colby and he's just... blind, to it?” He smirked.

“Why don't you tell him that and not me?” I jeered.

“I'm not getting involved with whatever the two of you got going on. I swore off helping his dating life long ago.” He chuckled, putting his hands up defensively.

I scoffed, “You were literally his wingman tonight as he flirted with the waitress!

“And you wouldn't have noticed that if you weren't watching him like a hawk.” He mentioned.

I rolled my eyes, my hands resting on my hips. “Trust me, I wanted to look away. But it was like watching a train crash.”

Sam laughed, “A train crash that ended in him getting her number.”

I exhaled. “Again, the whole 'you're an ass' comment stands.”

“Why don't you just tell him how you feel?” He rebutted.

“He knows,” I winced, shrugging. “He... has to know. He just pretends it's not real. When there's no one else, that's when he comes to me.”

“And how does that make you feel?” He inquired.

“Like shit. I hate being a second choice.” I muttered.

He hummed, “I know the feeling.” 

“Yeah, well at least you got to be first. I don't think that's ever gonna happen with me and him.” I sighed, ignoring my heart dropping at my own words.

Sam, always the optimist, replied, “Maybe that's better in the long run. Maybe you work better as friends.” 

“Maybe.... But what about you?” I stared up at him.

“What about me?” He chuckled.

“You really do have a knack for just changing up the conversation so you don't gotta talk about yourself.” I pointed at him, pushing my finger into his chest.

“What do you wanna know?” He asked.

I questioned, looking into his eyes. “How are you feeling? Genuinely.” 

“Genuinely... I'm…” He was hesitant, but spoke, “a bit lonely.”

“Have you tried to be with other girls since your break up?” I queried.

Sam nodded, “Yeah. But none of them seemed right. I've realized I don't like being alone.”

“Not many truly do.” I added.

“It just feels odd not having someone there, you know? You wake up for years with the same person over and over again, but once they're gone it's like... something's missing.” He exhaled, his head falling back.

“Well, someone is.” I murmured, leaning against him. 

He groaned, rubbing his eyes, “I kinda feel like a teenager again, but in the worst way.”

I turned to him, puzzled. “Really?”

“I can't tell how I feel anymore. Or what I want.” He flipped his hands over, weighing the options, “Am I lonely or just alone? Do I miss her or just the comfort that having her brought?”

I jokingly mimicked him, “Am I finally into someone new or am I just horny?”

“Yeah…” He gave me a strange look, but laughed, “What a weird way to put it, but yeah.”

I pffted, “Oh, I'm sorry. You two just said you get hard for Taco Bell, but I can't say I get horny sometimes?”

“Well you are my employee.” He smiled sarcastically.

“And you're my employer. So it's even worse.” I glared, “I should report you to HR.”

“We don't have HR.” Sam deadpanned.

“HR will have to hear about this... once they exist.” I declared.

He rolled his eyes at me, “Are you really horny that often?”

I inhaled, “Bro, honestly.... it's really bad sometimes.”

“Really? Like how bad?” He pushed.

“The other night I almost called up an ex just to see if he would fuck me.” I admitted, uncomfortable by the memory.

He whistled, “Ooof, that's pretty bad.”

“What about you? How horny do you get?” I asked, almost confused why I was.

He thought for a second, then stated, “Mmm, maybe every couple days.”

I snickered, “Oh that's not too bad. Aren't guys notorious for being constant horn dogs?”

“I guess so, but you already know I'm not like most guys.” He winked.

I shook my head at him, “How unique of you.”

Sam stared at me, his gaze a mix of annoyance and... something else I couldn't place. His voice came out low, almost husky. "Are you horny now?"

Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and I did my best to play them off. "Maybe a little. What about you?"

He raised his eyebrows, noting my statement, "Maybe just a little."

I nodded softly, my eyes taking in his face. He was really handsome. He always was, even if most of my feelings were for Colby. His eyes were blue, but very different compared to Colby's. Icy and intense in nature. They stared into mine, his eyes flickering down my face to my lips. I mirrored him, looking at his. 

They looked awfully nice....

I don't know how, but we must have gotten closer and closer to one another. And suddenly, his lips were on mine. His arm wrapped around my lower back, pulling me towards him. My hands rested on his shoulders, catching my balance. His kiss was soft, but fierce. Our tongues met in a matter of seconds, a gasp falling from my lips when his entered my mouth. He pressed his body into mine, our hips meeting and grazing each other sexually.

Holy shit, I was kissing Sam. And not only that, I was liking it.

Sam must have also came to this realization, that he too was kissing me, because he pulled back abruptly. Shock was written all over his face. “Woah…”

I breathed, leaning back against the island. “W-What was that?”

“I don't know. Wow, um…” He sputtered, taking a step back.

I cleared my throat, “Yeah that was... surprising.” 

“You can say that.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck.

I exhaled, looking at him. "Guess we are really horny."

He agreed, letting out a light laugh.

We stood there in awkward silence, trying to get our bearings. My heart fluttered in my chest as I realized how turned on I had become just making out with him.

I really was in dire need to be fucked. And Sam... seemed willing enough. At least, for a moment there.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the loneliness. But something came over the both of us in that moment. We locked eyes, and it became apparent that things were changing. The awkward silence turned erotic, like one of us was waiting to make the next move. I wanted to, but what if I was wrong?

Fuck, I just... needed him.

Sam bit his lip, his eyes tracing my form. Once they landed back on my face, a look came over him. It was intense, his pupils blown wide. He looked eager, determined... hungry.

“Come here.” He mumbled lowly.

That's all I needed to hear.

I rushed up to him, our bodies slamming into one another. Our mouths met hastily, jumping right back into what we had been doing just minutes before. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands resting low on my hips. He spun us until my back hit the counter in the far corner of the kitchen. His hand slid down to my knee, raising it up so it rested around his hip.

He pulled away quickly, putting some space between us. Are you okay with this?”

I tried catching my breath, “W-wha?” 

“Are you okay with this? Do you really want this?” Sam questioned, repeating himself.

“Yeah I do. Why would you ask?” I furrowed my brow.

He scoffed, “Come on, Y/N. We just spent ten minutes talking about how you wanted Colby.”

“Yeah, and you spent the better half of that talking about how you miss your ex.” I retorted. “Obviously, we aren't each other’s.... first choices. But that doesn't mean we can't have fun. Let's just enjoy this, and not make this a big deal.” I snaked my arms around him, pulling him back into me.

“Fine with me.”

He lowered his face to my neck, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive skin. I lulled my head back, allowing him as much access as he wanted. He pressed his hips into mine, sparks shooting up through my core into my entire body. I whimpered unexpectedly, Sam smiling into my neck at the sound.

I tugged lightly on his hair, pulling his head back. Our lips met again, my hand roaming his chest. I found the first button of his shirt, undoing it. I slowly followed suit with the others, my fingers tracing down his torso as I did.

He grabbed my wrists, stopping my motions. “Shouldn't we go back to my room and do this? Do you wanna get caught by Colby?”

“How about we stop bringing him up? I don't want to be thinking about him right now,” I smiled bitterly. “And anyway, you know as well as I do that man is probably knocked out asleep on his bed. So we'll be good til morning.”

“I don’t think I'm gonna make it that long. Maybe three rounds max.” He joked.

“Oh wow, three rounds?” I gazed up and down at his body, “I'll settle for one right now.”

“Same here.” He kissed me quickly, pulling back for a moment, "but just in case he's not totally asleep, let's not get fully naked."

“Lame. But fine, I guess.” I huffed.

“Trust me, I would love to see all of you, but not now. Not here.” He whispered sweetly.

I giggled, his face and lips pressing into my chest as he lowered my top more. His tongue dragged across my skin, and I felt like I was on fire. 

Maybe all of that tequila was a good call, after all. Because God... the feeling between my legs was just growing hotter and wetter by the second. All I wanted was Sam.

Was there a part of me that also wanted Colby? Yes. But that part would have to shut it for now. Because he wasn't here. He didn't choose me. Sam did. And I was going to enjoy every second of it.

Our kisses became harsher, more passionate, as our hips grinded together harder. I could feel him against me, his bulge pressing right against my core. I grazed my hand down his torso, finally resting it on his belt. I undid with my one hand, trying my best.

He laughed, pulling back from me. “I'll get it.”

“Do you have a condom?” I breathed.

“Yeah, in my wallet.” He grabbed it out of his pocket, placing it on the counter. 

As he undid his belt, I took the condom out, ripping the package with my teeth. I gazed down at his dick; it strained against his underwear, begging to be touched. I reached out, cupping him softly.

“O-oh, fuck, Y/N.” He choked out a moan, his eyes closing at the feeling.

“Does that feel good, Sammy?” I whispered, biting my lip.

He glared, a smirk on his lips, "You know I hate when you call me that."

I bit back a smile, “But I enjoy it so much.”

He hummed, “And I guess I'll enjoy this.”

Sam closed the space between us, his eyes never leaving mine. His hand slid underneath my skirt, palming my sex instantly. I gasped as my wet panties pressed into my aching clit. I shuddered against him, a dark chuckle leaving his lips.

“That's it, babygirl. You're so wet for me, aren't you?” His voice was raspy as he spoke.

“I told you I was horny.” I rubbed my palm harder into his cock as he did the same to my clit.

“Yeah, but only a little bit. If this is only you a little horny, I can't imagine what you're like completely turned on.” He pressed into me more, kissing up my neck.

My breath hitched, “Get inside me and you'll find out.”

“Ain't gotta tell me twice.” Sam lowered his pants and underwear down enough for his cock to spring free. He took the condom from my hand, rolling it down his shaft. I watched in anticipation, direly needing him inside of me.

I yanked my panties down, kicking them off my heels. Sam lined up with my entrance, our eyes meeting again.

His tip teased me, “You ready?”

I nodded, “Please Sam, just-”

He inched his way in, filling me slowly. We both moaned in unison, the sensation hitting us hard. I was so wet and slick, he was able to push all the way in easily. Once our hips met, his hand cupped my face.

I opened my eyes, and his searched mine. I should have felt weird in this moment. Here I was, in my employers' and best friends' kitchen being fucked by one of them while the other was just a room or two away. We could get caught, we could be seen or heard at any moment. I shouldn't have wanted this. Sam was my friend, and not the one I really wanted in my heart.

But my feelings be damned if I wasn't gonna enjoy every second of this. Plus, it's not like I was the only one getting something out of this. I was his second choice, and he was mine.

Sam started bucking his hips, building up to a good rhythm. My hands slid up his back, resting on his shoulder blades. He leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. He was concentrating on his movements, of going deeper into me. His one hand rested on my ass, cupping and gripping it as he thrusted. The other was in my hair, burying deeper into my locks.

“You feel so good, Y/N. So fucking wet.” He uttered, his voice shaking.

“I need more, Sam. Pleaseeee.” I whined.

“I gotchu, babygirl.” He lowered his hips, hitting my sex deeper, “Just like this?”

“Oh my- Fuck! Yes, just like that!” I cursed loudly.

He hushed me, snickering, “Shh, you can't be too loud. You might wake him. Unless that's what you want…”

“What?” I raised an eyebrow, pulling back slightly.

He slowed his movements down, tracing my jaw with his thumb.“You wanna get caught, don't you?” 

I hated that the idea did excite me. The thoughts swirled in my head; would Colby be upset? Would Sam? The what ifs made my mind wonder.

Sam grabbed my face suddenly, a little rougher than I expected him to be. “Look at me.”

I blinked, staring into his eyes.

“Don't look away from me, okay? I want all of your attention on me and what I'm doing to you. Got it?” He commanded.

His tone was sexy, my body jolting from the sound. “Okay.”

He pecked my lips, “Good girl.”

I gasped as his hand slid down to my clit, rubbing it in time with his thrusts. My body clenched at the sensation, my hips speeding up.

“You need more?” Sam growled.

I hummed, only able to nod. My nails dug into his back as he sped up his movements. He began fucking me harder against the counter. He held me steady, going deeper as he did.

I shuttered, “Fuuuck Sam. You make me feel so full.”

“Yeah? Feel fucking amazing, Y/N.” Sam grunted, “God, if you squeeze around me one more time, I'm gonna-

I smirked against his neck, squeezing his cock inside of me. He halted his hips, raising his head to look at me.

He pushed his dick all the way in, filling me completely. His fingers started rubbing my clit faster and faster. My mouth fell open, my body shaking with pleasure..

Sam glared into my eyes, watching me as I almost came undone. I gripped him hard, panting. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge, and all he was doing was using his fingers.

“You right there for me?” He hissed.

I whimpered, pleading, “Please let me come.”

“Stay right there for me. Don't come yet.” He demanded.

He picked up his speed again, fucking me faster than he had before. His cock pounded into me repeatedly, adding more to the pleasure of his fingers on my clit. I could feel my wetness leak down my thighs. I was so close, unable to hold on for much longer.

“Sam, pleaseeee..... I'm so fucking close.” I mewled.

He groaned, closing his eyes tightly. “I'm right there, babygirl. You gonna come for me?”

“Fuck, yes, yes! Please Sam!” I cried, begging.

He slammed his hand down on my mouth, letting out a small laugh. “Don't fucking scream.”

My response was muffled, but he could tell what I said.

He lowered his mouth to my ear, whispering aggressively, “Squeeze around me. Do it, Y/N. Come for me.”

I bucked my hips with abandonment, my head falling back as my cries were silenced by his hand. Sam grunted lowly as he came, his fingers pressing into my clit while he was deep inside of me. My body spasmed, my orgasm hitting me in waves.

Sam fell against me, his hands sliding and wrapping around me in a soft embrace. We stood there for a moment, catching our breaths.

The silence was cut suddenly.... by the sound of Colby's door shutting.

We pulled away from one another, glancing at each other with wide eyes. We hastily pulled our clothes back on, fixing ourselves as best we could before Colby appeared.

I turned my back towards the boys, a noticeable blush on my face. I ran my fingers through my hair, adjusting it the best I could.

“Hey did you guys order Taco Bell yet?” Colby called, his voice coming from the other side of the kitchen island.

“Um, uh. N-no. Not yet.” Sam stammered out, clearing his throat.

Colby sighed dramatically. “Can you hurry up and do it? I'm fucking starving.”

I turned around, finally feeling relaxed enough to join in. “Yeah Sam, hurry up. I'm hungry.”

“I thought you said you were full.” He stared at me with a playful glint in his eye.

“Well,” I jested, cursing him out in my head, “I guess I have a bigger appetite than I thought.”

I gave Colby a quick once over, realizing he was shirtless and in sweatpants, like usual.

Definitely a bigger appetite…

#sam golbach #sam golbach fanfiction #sam golbach fanfic #sam golbach x reader #sam and colby smut #sam golbach fic #sam golbach angst #sam golbach one shot #sam golbach oneshot #colby brock #sam and colby

[madame-fear]

Okay, so. Yesterday I received a rather extent anon message blaming me for, apparently, “not being neutral in the drama” because I’m mutuals with someone that had little involvement in the situation I think, and as I found out today, my mutual already clarified things and apologised.

I left my answer to the ask in the drafts, but today I opted to ignore the message and remove the drafted answer. I did this not only because I wanted to drop things already and not stir up any more shit, but also because I have a condition where I constantly tremble, and any extreme emotion — whether it’s good or bad — makes my shaking worsen to the point I can barely function even for basic things and I feel sick in the stomach.

It wasn’t worth going through that. I thought it would be better to answer ask messages of people ranting, or asking things about it that were within the reach of my knowledge.

Until today, that a burner account named @/quillantrophy (which, they accidentally exposed their real account @/wewereforever in one of their screenshots and now they both deactivated), thought they could do a “call out” post... Posting my answers to anon asks & basically treating me as a hypocrite over nothing?

And they said I should explain things because since I wasn’t commenting on anything they said on the post, I was “adding fuel to the fire” (that exact quote). I didn’t have time to explain things at the moment, but I do now and I will answer bit by bit. I will do this just to avoid possible misunderstandings.

I want to clarify that I don’t feel comfortable getting involved in things that I’ve never been involved in— and if I receive more messages about the drama itself, those messages will be deleted. I feel kind of bad about this since people have only been coming to my ask box asking thing about it confuses, or seeking comfort from the moment, but like we’ve been saying, it’s better to drop things already, and focus on the good things inside the fandom.

The answer to the post is below the cut. It’s going to be long, sorry, but I prefer to clear any misunderstandings. And I will highlight something extremely important down below, besides apologising deeply for any misunderstanding. And this is the last time I will be talking about it

“there’s no issue with this, but she claims to be neutral and is currently explaining/advocating on the situation whilst adopting this stance.” I am neutral on the situation. I will eternally remain neutral because as we’ve seen, neither side is good.

As I’ve said before, Cal had little to do with all of this huge mess. From what I learned today, she already clarified and apologised about the situation. Cal was dragged through the mud by both of the groups out of nowhere, and she also fell for their shit so she was fooled by them just like lots of other people— she told me herself.

“This is bullshit, there’s no transparency” huh? what does that even mean,, I just… Literally don’t have any involvement at all? What can I say or do about it? Both groups of people were already on my blocklist since last year lmao.

“She has connection to the drama purely through this even as she apparently didn’t participate — allegedly.” I’m sorry but the allegedly part is killing me too. I wasn’t even on their Discord groups, nor talked to any of the people involved, explain why the word ‘allegedly’ was even added?

also, how the hell am I supposed to be connected to the drama if, as you said, I didn’t even participate in it, only because I’m mutuals with someone who was named in it? What kind of sense does that make?

As I stated above, I am, and always have been a neutral onlooker about the situation, who explained the situation to the confused people, even posting the links with the full info and proof to not spread incorrect information accidentally.

“Does @bucknastysbabe even know or care you’re slamming her on main and then love bombing her the next?” Cal knows about all your post, and all my answers to each ask regarding the situation.

She knows I hadn’t seen her apology/clarifying video until today. She even cheered me up when I had an anxiety attack after this person made this post, only to then delete it and deactivate the account. So, yes, she knows pretty much everything and she knows it was a mere mistake of mine.

Then, the person posted this. I will show the screenshots of what they said, and what answered ask they were referring to using their own SS.

(sorry if the screenshot pics are switched of their right places) I had no idea that was a direct quote from Cal’s apology video, because I OBVIOUSLY HADN’T SEEN IT. I don’t know how else to stress this, but I’m not chronically online, and neither I see everything my mutuals post.

Either way, I literally re-read my own response to check what I had answered, and this was terribly misunderstood. The only response I had about Cal’s statement was “why am I not surprised?”, and in the rest of my response, I tried to be as neutral as possible— in the rest of my response, I was referring to the general situation of the drama, and in fact I was mostly referring to the things Bel, Fae, Em and Ange said + did.

But nothing else, thats it, because I wanted to speak about the situation in general and I was referring to the group of people— I didn’t name names and neither I referenced Cal’s statement any further. I deeply apologise for the misunderstanding, but sometimes I explain myself awfully mostly because English isn’t my native language.

if this was considered with any possible ill intention at all, I offer once again my most sincere apologies. I never had any bad intention, and the only thing I’ve been doing was answer the asks of the people who came to my ask box inquiring about what had happened, try to offer comfort to those who felt disappointed and heartbroken, and in general just try to provide as much positivity as I could amidst the terrible situation.

Some believe I was trying to gain attention from the situation, and that I was stroking the flames of the drama. I at no cost even thought of ‘getting attention’ from it, or that I was actually getting attention, I simply answered the messages I was receiving to interact with my own followers— I mean, it didn’t feel good to leave them hanging.

I do have to take responsibility that perhaps my actions continued to keep the drama up, but again, I never had this intention, and I’m terribly sorry if that’s what my answers and interactions caused.

Please I do hope you guys understand my point of view, and that I never intended for any of this to be understood in the wrong manner. I have to admit that despite all the lovely people and fun moments I had/have in the fandom, it’s also responsible for worsening my condition the 90% of the times due to the unnecessary drama, and this situation today made me feel extremely bad physically as it automatically involved me in a situation I didn’t want to be involved in, nor have anything to do with it.

And that’s why, from now on, I won’t be answering any message related to the drama anymore to not keep mentioning the things that happened. As I said all the way above, we should currently be focusing only on the good, positive things of the fandom— and hopefully, we will all learn to not be rude or gossip about other people over mere fandoms, or fanfanfiction.

Then again, thank you for reading and understanding. If I expressed myself wrongly anywhere in here, please feel free to ask me about it and I will glady re-explain it. I hope this can clear everything, and please, I don’t want to be involved any further in anything.

#fandom rants #I hope this cleared everything out. I am as polite and as clear as I can be about the situation. #important #✧.* amiraverse #hotd drama

[askagamedev]

Hello. Do you think having a game programming YouTube channel can be useful as a portfolio? Like recreating game mechanics from existing games or creating new ones, and explaining my thoughts and decisions through the videos. Similar to Artstation for artists, but in this case for programming.

I do like the idea of having an online portfolio where a candidate can showcase their skills, but I am not sure that a youtube channel is the ideal platform for it. I can see good gains to be had from doing so, but there are also non-trivial drawbacks. I'll explain what I mean.

First, doing personal game development projects earns top marks. There's no better way to stand out as a candidate than to have experience doing that work already and game development is no exception. Show us that you can do the job by doing similar work. Earning experience as an amateur will translate to leveling up as a professional.

Second, there's definitely a lot of benefit to practicing communication skills which you get from posting for public consumption. My own personal ability to communicate has improved significantly since I began this blog. The regular practice of posting to the blog has honed my skill at taking difficult, technical, and/or complex concepts and conveying them in an intuitive and understandable way. These are extremely helpful skills in a professional setting, especially when communicating with others who are not versed in the technical or design context.

There are also two drawbacks I see here.

The first drawback is in the choice of platform. Video production is extremely time-consuming - at the very least you will need to record the needed footage, write and record the commentary, add any needed visual bits (e.g. intro, outro, key art, transitions, etc.) and (most time-consuming of all) edit each video together. Most of these skills are not directly transferable to game development and are the primary reason I decided against going the Youtube route for myself.

The second drawback is in the public-facing nature of posting your work. If you get hired by a game company, you will become a corporate representative to the players of that company's games 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Your personal public posts will likely be read and dissected by the game's fans and used as potential ammunition against your employer. It is not abnormal for public blogs and the like to need shutting down (either temporarily or permanently) once you get hired. It may become a legal liability and that's not something you want to deal with while juggling a full-time job. I avoid this by staying anonymous but it's a double-edged sword - I must also forgo the benefit of having a public portfolio that I can show to potential employers.

That's basically the rundown. There's a lot to be gained from doing personal game dev work and posting it publicly, but you don't need to go all or nothing. There are really good skills you will develop by doing so, but you should absolutely be mindful of the major drawbacks of doing so in a public venue. I would encourage you to consider these issues and find a solution that you think will work best for you.

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#portfolio #getting a job in the game industry #public facing #leveling up

[felizusnavidad]

gonna kill the minotaur now wish me luck

#i thought i should update you guys on my game #since i have basically nothing better to do #i'm still jobless #it's been a week & i am losing my mind #but hey at least i have music & games & coffee #and it makes me feel calm it's a nice distraction #(yes murdering enemies in my game is making me feel calm) #(especially when i'm listening to musicals while doing it) #(i just killed the cyclops while listening to mary poppins soundtrack) #(it's time for the minotaur now) #(i'm listening to encanto btw) #(shut tf up poppy nobody cares) #but the truth is i'm writing this post because i'm fucking scared of those creatures & i don't want to fight them #i needed a tumblr break to prepare lol #but sincerely can you hear me?*

[virsancte]

good days aren't easy to come by

#simblr #ts4 legacy #valentine gen 4 #fun fact for context on why i care so much abt him finally choosing to play the piano on his own #but it's gonna get Long so strap in #basically. the guitar he used to have had been with him since he was like...... my god. probably about 15 #he bought it at a yard sale for pennies from an older woman #it belonged to her late son originally and it wasn't even . supposed to be a part of the sale in the first place. she just took a liking to #devin and figured that really it's better in the hands of someone who would use it than for it to collect dust in her garage forever #and he couldn't really practice at home. his parents... are not exactly the kindest people you've ever seen #he was too afraid of them destroying or throwing it away so he'd sneak off to god knows where and learn how to play it from old #youtube videos on his busted up phone #it quickly became Everything to him. his most prized possession. and it wasn't a shitty guitar either. the son was a professional musician #that's how ellie and devin met in the first place. he was playing at the market she used to sneak out to in the evenings to #and she instantly knew . this boy is going places and really they might as well go together #enough backstory of the backstory. long story short: he was struggling to make rent eventually and was out of vinyls to pawn off #so he had no choice left. it was either that or he'd get kicked out along with his sister. who was still struggling a lot w/ addiction #so he sold it. and it broke him. he's literally just not been the same since losing it #his sister stole him a guitar from a music shop she'd go to sometimes but it just wasn't the same and he had not played an instrument since #until now anyway #still not a guitar. but maybe someday #or he can find his old one and buy it again......... #lmfao if you made it here congrats. you win nothing bc im broke but i do respect you

[strangerhands]

mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

#it was so good tho #like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked #the fight scenes🤌 #the environments/settings🤌 #all of the fuckin machinery🤌 #the acting🤌 #the everything🤌 #yum #also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy.. #i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it #sorta vent-> #but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part #because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝 #just tee bee ehch #and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit #so i just went to sleep #and i was busy today #yesterday* #and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit #idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is #i felt a bit better yesterday though #and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea #hopefully that helps soonish idk #i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here #also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged #so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there #why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg #anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow #idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea #talkin shit

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Here are the issues I have with the book. Since it's a lot, I'll try to keep it as short as possible and only mention my biggest problems with it. So this list is not complete and I could write pages about it.

Let me start by saying that a good autobiography (or any book that highlights a real life person) should be balanced. It should not glorify that person or pretend that person is a god and without mistakes. I also have no problem with critizing Ze, because, let's face it, yes he made mistakes and fucked things up in the past and not every war decision or speech or whatever was good or perfect. The point is: the critique should be fair and balanced (this obviously doesn't apply to bad people in general and the books about them; but since Ze isn't a bad person...you get what I want to say). The portrayal of Ze in the book is anything but fair or balanced. Or true, for that matter (unless literally every person in Ze's life and who knows him better, including the Kvartal fam, Olena, Andriy or people like them, have been lying to everyone for decades).

Throughout the whole book Shuster does say that Ze is Ukrainian (and Jewish) but also always tries to paint him as an "Ukrainian Russian" - so Ze is actually Russian despite being a "Ukrainian" (basically using one of Russia's Propaganda lies). Ze is basically a stubborn "Ukrainian" who kind of deserves all the hate and arrogance he gets from "real Russians" during KVN times (and later) because Ze is an insufferable asshole during his KVN times. And that Russian treated Ukrainian (or from other former Soviet Union countries) teams badly (including racist remarks, looking down on them, treating them like slaves, insulting them, not giving them a fair chance,...) teams awfully is, in Ze's case, deserved. Because Ze was oh so focused on always winning - no matter what and the cost.

Speaking of KVN: According to Shuster, Ze was terrible as a person during his first years of stardom. A maniac who only lived for applause and needs it to survive and was willing to do absolutely everything to win and beat other teams. Because, you know, he's so obsessed with winning. To a point were even he gives a flying fuck about the Kvartal team and their members (Shuster basically hints that they all disliked Ze and he was some kind of group dictator who only wanted to work and win all the time and was reckless and took to many risks and almost destroyed everyones lifes). When Shuster finds something positive to write about, he quotes people from Kvartal but what he quotes are just general statements or people saying what KVN was like during the 1990s and early 2000s. The moment Shuster writes about Ze and was he (allegedly) like during this time it's almost only "team members" and "people who knem him" and "classmates" and all that stuff - so anon sources. Or it's just Shuster telling stuff without saying what his source is or him just have feelings and thoughts and drawing conclusions. If people get named they - surprise, surprise - have a lot of times bad things to say about Ze or are people who we never ever have heard of as being part of Ze's life. Btw, it's not very hard to guess who the "team member", who talked the KVN years and adds a lot of negative talk about Ze, is... . Denys (yes, THAT Denys) contributed to the book with pictures, so chances are high he also talked to Shuster. If you ever wondered if the asshole would ever get over the fact that he fucked up and Ze kicked his ass out of the group - well, the answer is no. He now just tries to cash in on Ze. And since we are talking about Denys' obvious contribution to the book - he, once again, gave out private photos. How much we all wanna bet that he, once again, didn't ask for consent?!

Shuster also tries to paint Ze's family in a bad light. The father a tyrann who sacrified his wife's (Mama Ze) health for his job and money. Also rarely being at home and giving a fuck about his son and family. Mama Ze spoiling her child and making him entitled. Both to unloving and hard and more or less making Ze's life a living hell. Also that Ze's family was suddenly rich. Not to mention indirectly questioning the trauma his family had to go through (and Ze talked about in the past) under Stalin and the Nazis and family members that are suddenly alive (despite Ze stating in the past that they were dead). Also, Shuster sees in the childhood and family of Ze a part of the explanation why Ze is such a horrible person today, to stubborn to just give up and end the fight (and all that nonsense) and won't win this war. Because the parents put Ze in all kind of activities without him finishing any of it but letting him believe he can do everything and always demanding excellent perfomance in every aspect of his life (to keep it short). So of cooourse Ze had to grow up into a maniac who can't loose and always continues despite what people may tell him and who needs the constant validation and love from others.

There are also a ton of negative remarks about Ze as father and husband in regard of his own family. Not to mentiont hat a ton of informations are factually not correct. Things like birth dates or dates in general, how and where Ze's family lived (missing important context several times), Ze basically being as awful as his father, Ze not giving a fuck about his families safety during the war (Olena was the voice of reason who protects the poor, poor children because their father just wants them back for egoistic reasons and doesn't care about their safety) or not seeing anything concerning about his sons military obsession and instead fueling it (again, it's the poor poor wife who has to protect the son from the awful father), Ze giving zero fucks about his relationship with Olena right from the start and that poor, poor, poor woman always staying behind and having to go through hell and hate because of Ze's maniac ambitions and facing an unsave future in the early 2000s because Ze was so full of himself and had the biggest ego,... . (reading several parts you would think that this "poor, poor woman" is trapped in some abuse situation or Ze somehow tied her to himself and the whole marriage is fake and there is no love) (also Olena simultaniously romantizing things and her life and Ukraine but also being the only who who sees the truth about Ze or several parts of their lives but, of course, can't tell her terrible husband because bad, bad Ze) Also Shuster indirectly claiming that Ze and Olena lied about their relationship and they didn't date for eight years but for a shorter period of time. Because suddenly Olena also was a part of KVN long before Ze (???) and was essentially just his work buddy and friend for a while and somehow and for whatever reason they ended up in a relationship one day. (Also prepare yourself to read about a new version of the "Basic Instinct" story we never have heard before...and Ze and Olena never said.)

Btw, the way Ze is portrayed during his KVN years is essentially with little variation how he's portrayed in later stages of his life. Including his presidency and the war (I'm not going to write several more paragraphes because I think you get the picture Shuster tries to paint of Ze).

Only one thing about Ze's war portrayal: Shuster swings back and forth between Ze as wanna be dictator who will turn Ukraine into something bad as soon as the war is over (and is already starting with that) and who already makes his own rules and gives zero fucks about people and is only interested in his own fame and people applauding him and all that stuff. And Ze being the worst President ever because the war and the current state of Ukraine (which is, of course, very bad and they are about to collapse and loose and big Russia and winning and blablabla) are somehow also his fault. Yes, Shuster really manages to make Ze (and with that Ukraine) partly guilty.

Throughout the whole book he also, sometimes more obvious sometimes hidden, Shuster portrays Ukraine in the worst way possible. He does mention how "bad" Russia is but somehow justifying it several times or leaving out important facts and, once again, context. Also the portrayal of Putin, especially in comparsion with how he writes about Ze, is a joke.

Oh, and, the "inside look in the bunker" life Shuster used for his marketing campaign and that the claim of the book - yeah, bullshit. It's nothing now and anon and all that stuff. Also, once again, portraying Ze in a bad light. Like, yeah, the first weeks of war affected him but to such a worrying point (according to Shuster) that Ze was actually unfit to rule any longer as President but continued (because, you know, he loves power sooo much...). And now he's the mini dictator of Bankova who is always grumpy and changed into a (an even more) awful person and... .

What can I say at the end?! As mentioned earlier, the book has a ton of fake news and wrong facts. It's incredibly poorly researched - if sources exist at all. A lot of times it's Shuster just sharing his feelings or thougths or conclusions or interpretations or whatever. Or just saying things without context. Or writing stuff without giving sources. And to be honest, in some parts it also feels like that Shuster just made stuff up.

If you have no idea about Ze and his life or know very little - that's not the book to get informed. If you know a bit more about Ze, you will surprisingly often feel that certain parts of "exclusive interviews" or "when I talked with XYZ" are strangely familiar...with interviews we all know from Ze's (and several other people) past...because it is these interviews. Just a lot of times missing context, shortening what was said, adding stuff or giving it a new meaning.

Speaking of using old stuff: Shuster also really used his old articles to include them in the book...to a point where it's basically almost word for word.

Overall, the book is in large parts poorly written (so poorly that you wonder how he became a TIME journalist in the first place).

In the end, you probably haven't learned anything new or interesting about Ze, his life, the war or Ukraine. When we talk about Ze, I may have read one, maybe two new things I haven't read before (but questioning both of them and will do research if they are true or just made up by Shuster). It's over 300 sites of wasted paper and ink. I know articles who did a better job than this "book". It's a waste of time and money. And in the end it's a Pro-Russia Propaganda book, trying to undermine the support for Ukraine and hurt Ze and his image (as well as Ukraine's). Shuster tries to be subtle at his try to do this but he isn't not. He tries to come off as critical thinker who wants to portray a balanced picture of Ze and also writes about the sides no one dares to talk about. But nothing about this is balanced. It's just 300+ sites of trashing Ze and backstabbing him and using every possible way. Same applies to Ukraine.

.

#thanks anon!!! #HOLY FUCKING SHIT #😱😨😰 #im actually so shocked right now #if this is really the book than this is basically shuster trying to destruct ze and ukraine #ze and olena as well as his kvartal fam probably have better things to do right now but if this book has that many false informations... #...i hope someone at some point starts a law suit #im so shocked about what i just read #i didnt expect much from the book since shuster changed so many things about it #and my expectations were almost zero after his latest articles #but thats...something... #denys being part of that?! i probably should be shocked but after the le monde (?) thing im not really... #also read online that people think people close to poroshenko or other political opponents of ze as well as ares-asshole and people like... #...that are shusters sources #i agree with anon that a “balanced” look at a person is always good in suck a book #but also agree with anon that there is nothing balancing if that is zes portrayal #also agree with anon if this is zes portrayal than something really doesnt match up with what his friends family olena and people close... #...to him of from his life said about him since forever #i think its also highly suspicious that before all that (or presidency if you want to go further back) no one could say a bad word about hi #quite the contrary actually #but suddenly everyone thinks badly about him and hates him and ze is such an awful person and all that stuff #and using already existing interviews and his articles and pretend its exlucive and said it to him and its something new???? thats very wil

[aewrie]

'once a week or more' well rip

my default state of being when i'm not having a bad day is a little tired & nursing a budding headache. i have a headache right now that i'm ignoring

is this going to be another of those 'there is no such thing as a 'mild' concussion, if you hit your head bad enough to black out it is a concussion' lmao???

i get headaches from fucking everything. weather/air pressure (low and high). low/high blood sugar or too rapid changes there. too bright/dim light (at home i am specific about my lights/curtains at different points of the day/depending on how bright it's outside to avoid these). rapid repetitive/jarring physical motions (just jumping a little can be enough/make it worse). muscle tension. doing stretching/exercise that gets blood really flowing. lack of and/or bad sleep, or too much sleep. getting (strongly) emotional. caffeine (a new exiting one! only started regularly drinking coffee fairly recently. how much caffeine is too much is a fucking mystery though). i should wear glasses (myopia, not too severe) but i avoid it unless i need to see that far that well in part bc the glasses pressing on my temples give me headaches more easily than my eyes being slightly tired does.

i'm probably forgetting a bunch more

but every time i've seen people describe migraines i've thought well mine aren't anywhere near that severe/those specific kinds of headaches so No Way it's that

but. i do have other symptoms on that list? i just never thought it might be related to my headaches bc i'd not seen those mentioned, at least not in a way that i could identify as something i should consider in connection to this, and there's always the huge stress that migraines are always extra super bad to the point that a Real migraine completely disables you for a while. while to me it's. it's annoying, it hurts, if it's particularly bad it can make things more difficult but not impossible/near impossible; just, a general It's Not That Bad, therefore normal and i should just deal with it

#i should probably try to keep a diary of this crap for a while #i am looking at additional symptom lists from should-be-reliable sources and it's not looking great #yourebablingjulle #best part is i actually mentioned this offhand to a doctor once a few years back while discussing other stuff and he basically went #yeah it's normal some people just get headaches more easily #not sure how i phrased it or if he understood how frequent my headaches are #work stress definitely contributes so it's gotten worse since that time period tho #i often avoid painkillers or strategically schedule taking them bc otherwise i'm having them near constantly #most notably i might bear through a few hours of a semi-bad one if i know i need it later to be able to sleep ok #(not too common but it happens) #bc at their worst they do fuck with my already sketchy ability to sleep #melatonin thankfully works for me and it is a lifesaver #one other thing i know works is acupuncture but one session costs almost as much as a year's supply of melatonin and that Not affordable #(i had ~a year while recovering from depression/burnout where i could have ear acupuncture done weekly without having to pay for it #figured that if nothing else i get to chill for a bit on a regular basis. scheduled no-stress time. #when the nurse was unavailable at times and couldn't do it i realized i slept noticeably better when i got my ears poked regularly)

[sortanonymous]

I know expecting Congress to get anything right these days is like expecting to see a triple rainbow in the Arctic, but if we could just get sticky, scratchy, awful cardboard sleeves for physical media discs illegalized, that would just be lovely!

#cd #cd collection #cd collector #physical storage media #physical media #dvd #blu ray #sorry to spoil that collection post i was just teasing but my beatles red and blue remix albums just came in #and both blue album discs got so messed up by damaged sleeves that it feels like a miracle that the flac files seemed to be ripped properly #it seems they basically changed nothing besides the back text and booklet from the packaging of the 2010 cd versions #not good since at least the white album and 1 remix cd's had digipak slots just how it should be #(don't know about the other remix cd's since i only have white album and the version of 1 with the dvd but still) #i have a few sleeve cd's like this but none nearly as bad this #and don't even get me started on dvd's and blu rays like this! #i can't even count how many dvd's and blu ray's i've either bought or wanted to buy separate replacement cases for #(although admittedly a good chunk of them aren't sleeves but just bad cases or disc holders) #please better apple (or sony or paul and ringo or giles or whoever handles these cd's) never do sleeves again #the beatles #bad packaging

[morrigan-sims]

the fact that I've been on simblr for over 5 years now is wild to me. And the fact that I've been running this blog for almost 2.5 years is also wild. The fact that I've been mutuals with some of you guys for over 2 years.... Damn. And all my followers, honestly. Thanks for sticking around through the chaos, I guess. Hopefully you enjoy it here. <3

#morrigan.txt #delete later #started looking back through my followers list and seeing all the people who have been following me since basically the beginning... #honestly I love all of you guys. mutuals or not. #you're all amazing #I have literally spent more than 1/4 of my life on this website lmao #that's wild to think about. #I've been here for a long time #and I dont plan on going anywhere #idk why I'm getting sappy today. maybe it's cause I'm sick or maybe it's because i'm bored and have nothing better to do. #either way.