#smth smth a little piece of yourself in someone else smth smth trusting them with your language

[candyfloss-esophagus]

sorry it's just that im obsessed with noir calling hobie 'doll' and 'darling' and 'sweetheart' and hobie calling noir 'love' and 'treacle' and 'pete' bcs they're affording themselves these little pieces of adoration and softness that their respective worlds never bothered to offer them

#and then they kiss forever and ever and are happy the end #smth smth a little piece of yourself in someone else smth smth trusting them with your language #i literally know this is 30's transatlantic slang and mle BUT THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO ME #haha wouldn't it be funny if i laid down and cried on the floor about two fictional guys who haven't even met in canon #im going insane i love them so much #there's something about those era and location-specific endearments that riff off each other so well #atsv #itsv #hobie brown #peter benjamin parker #noirpunk #punknoir #esophagus speaks #spidernoir #spiderpunk

[fezphoria]

Hi love!! Absolutely love the way you write and the three part story with Fezco❤️I love angsty stories and basically anything that revolves around heartbreak, so is it ok if I send a request for angst with Fezco x reader?

Maybe where Fezco is cheating on the reader with a random girl for a longer time without the reader knowing, and then them finding out. You can end it in any way that you want but I would love if it ends in heartbreak, I haven’t read anything with that kind of end yet. Maybe if fez realizes that he messed up but the reader has lost all her trust for him.

Thank you so much, much love❤️❤️

You look down at your phone again, rereading your text conversation like somehow the words will morph and change into something else. Anything else. 

lulu 🥺❤️: hey i saw fez today

You: where? At a party or smth?

lulu 🥺❤️: No. he was with a a girl with dyed red hair

You: Might be someone he deals to

lulu 🥺❤️: Dude they were in his car, alone. 

You: did you recognize her?

lulu 🥺❤️: I didn’t see her face. they were kissing 

You: He wouldn’t do that. Seriously

lulu 🥺❤️: I would never lie to u

lulu 🥺❤️: U said he’s been acting weird right 

lulu 🥺❤️: Like really weird right 

It wasn’t obvious at first, actually. Not really. You still spent the night when you could, and Fez never turned you away. He still kissed you like he meant it, fucked you like he meant it, told you he loved you like he meant it. 

But he also became possessive. And he was never a possessive guy before. It was one of the things you’d liked so much about him. He was intense, yes. And he could be jealous every once in a blue moon. But asking who you were with, and calling you often, and glancing at your phone? Questioning you every time you walked out the door and every time you walked in? No. 

And you, in all your trusting idiocy, didn’t stop to figure out why this was happening. But it was his one tell, the one red flag that slipped through. 

For every time Fez got irritated with you for coming home late, it was because he’d been with someone else the night before. 

“Cheaters are always paranoid that they're being cheated on.” You’d heard that before. From older, wiser women. You hardly paid attention.

You’re still not sure if you’ve really processed it. The clues were there - a single earring loose in his car, the way he smelled a little different when you tucked your nose into his sweater, the nights when he would shower the second he got home. And you don’t know why you didn’t piece it together. Maybe it was denial, but honestly it was probably just that you were blinded by love. 

You’ve never loved anyone the way you love Fez. And no one has ever loved you the way Fez loves you. 

You never stood a chance. It’s like he stole your heart and he’d never even meant to do it. 

One day you’re making small talk with the cute guy behind the counter, and the next thing you know you’re in his bed. You’re fucking him, and loving him, and arguing with him. Fighting about your future, and your past, and how you overstep when it comes to Fez raising his own brother. You want it all. The love, the obsession, the fights. 

He tells you he can see his future in your eyes. He asks you to stay the night even when you really shouldn’t. He says you’re too good for him. 

And then he goes behind your back and fucks someone else. 

When Fez opens the door to the walk-in fridge, he seems mildly surprised. You’ve pulled the chair out in front of the table, and you’re sitting in it, waiting. 

You’d asked Ash to text Fez and tell him he wanted to meet at the store when he was finished with whatever he was doing. You feel bad about using Ashtray like that - you told him you wanted to surprise Fez and he didn’t seem to believe you. But he did it anyway. 

Now you’re sitting here, arms wrapped around yourself to fend off the chill, your skin cold on the surface and your blood hot with anger. 

Fez walks up to you, placing one warm hand on your shoulder before leaning down. 

“Hey, baby.” He kisses your cheek, and you close your eyes at the sensation of his lips and his beard and the tip of his nose. “Where’s the kid?”

You open your eyes and look at him, silent, and he raises his brows. 

“You good?”

You nod. 

“Who’d you hang out with?” You start.

“Was jus’ dealing at a party.”

“Whose party?” 

He looks at you carefully, and you think about all the times he questioned you in the same way. 

“Ionno, babe. I just hear about ‘em and I show up.”

“Who else went?” You probe, wondering when he will start being honest. 

“Some college kids.” He answers. 

Your patience wears thin. You sit in silence for a few beats, watching him watch you. 

“Who’s the girl?”

He stares at you, and it’s not that careful look he often wears. He looks half afraid. He doesn’t answer. 

“Whose earring did I find in your car?” You press, nodding your head in the direction of the door, beyond which the car is parked outside. “The earring shaped like a flower.”

You know he was with her tonight - you don’t tell him that you know this because you looked through his phone this morning. You’re ashamed of it. 

He seems struck dumb, so you take the earring out of your pocket and toss it on the table. 

He looks at the jewelry and you look at him. 

“S’not anyone important. Just a chick I deal to sometimes.” He finally manages, and his voice is calm and even even though you can see the stress in his face.  

“You should give it back to her.” You say, and you know you’re being cruel, but it doesn’t matter. You watch him pick up the earring and tuck it into his back pocket. 

He shifts his weight on his feet, and it’s so odd seeing Fez uncomfortable. You’d loved how laidback and confident and steady he was. Now he looks like you’re pricking him with needles. 

“Is there something I should know that you haven’t told me? About your friend?” You ask. 

“We kissed once, we were high.” He says it slow and low, like maybe the faint buzz of the fridge will swallow up the words. 

“Why are you so upset, then?”

“Cause I regret it.” He says, practically whispering. He swallows. “Ionno, I didn’t tell you cause it was dumb.”

“I’m not stupid, Fez. How long have you been sleeping with her?”

He stares at you, and you stare right back. You can see it in his eyes, the moment he’s decided to give up on lying. 

“We had sex three or four times, I can’t remember. It was nothing.”

Three or four times. 

You’ve never experienced this. You’ve seen it happen to friends, strangers, even celebrities. But not you. It’s like it never occurred to you this could happen to you. That he could do this to you. 

The worst part is you can’t trust if he’s being honest. It could’ve been many, many times. But what does it matter? Even one time is way too many. 

“You kiss her and then you have the balls to kiss me? You fuck her and then you dare to even look at me?”

“Baby…”

“You like getting your dick wet, is that it?” You spit out, your voice as mean as it’s ever been. 

“I fucked up. I’m sorry.” He says, and it does nothing to comfort you. 

What surprises you is not the nausea or the heartbreak. You’d expected that. The surprising part is the humiliation you feel. Marrow deep humiliation. 

Did they laugh at you? Laugh at how stupid and trusting you were? Roll their eyes when you called and he refused to pick up because he was with her?

You wonder if they fuck in his bed, or just in the car. If he touches her the way he touches you or holds her like he holds you. Laughs with her like he laughs with you. If he -

“Are you in love with her?”

“Fuck no.” He shakes his head. “It’s always been you.” 

You bite your tongue, literally. Push your teeth into the flesh of your tongue and press down, and tell yourself to relax. 

“How long have you been seeing her? Be honest.”

He sighs. 

“A couple months.”

“I’m going home.” You announce, and he watches you stand. 

You reach the door and half expect him to ask you to stay, but when you glance back at the last second you see he’s too ashamed to take another step. 

When he calls you the next day, you answer, even though you shouldn’t and you know that. 

“Hello?”

“What is it?” You answer, which is very dignified of you since really you wanted to say Fuck you. 

“Listen, I was wondering if we could talk?”

“Talk about what?”

“I know you’re mad, and you’re right to be. But I really gotta talk with you.”

When you walk through the door to Fez’s place, it’s unnervingly quiet. 

Fez opens the door and you crane your neck to look through the window in the kitchen. 

“Where’s Ash?” 

“Asked him to go hang with one of his little friends. So we can have some privacy and all that.”

“Right.”

You’re on a mission to be unflappable tonight. When you sit on the sofa, though, you remember the times Fez has kissed you here. The way he’d touch you and tell you he loved you. 

Fez sits next to you and you focus on the table in front of you. 

“What did you want to say to me?”

“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

You look at him, then, and you hate how sincere he looks. You hate that you believe him. 

“You said that already.”

“I gotta say it again. You know I would never want to hurt you.”

The corner of your mouth tugs a bit, and you don’t know if you're about to frown or laugh. 

“I don’t know what to say to that.”

He nods. 

“I know I fucked up.”

“Did you know while you were doing it, or only when you got caught?”

“The whole time.”

You laugh.

“Obviously, or you wouldn’t have tried to hide it.”

He sighs and looks down at the table like you did moments ago. 

“If you knew it was fucked up, why’d you keep doing it? Why do it at all?”

“I don’t really know, to be honest with you.”

The living room is dim and growing dimmer by the second. Sunset is coming and it just makes you think about how nights belonged to you and Fezco. It felt sacred, the hours spent together between sunset and sunrise. 

“Were you lonely?” 

Your voice cracks and it surprises you, and then you feel your throat close up but you swallow it down. 

“No. I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

He swears under his breath. 

“Was she there when you needed her and I wasn’t?”

He looks at you again, and you cut him off right as he opens his mouth. 

“I’m not being sarcastic.” You inhale shakily. “I’m seriously asking.”

He licks his lips and you want so badly to kiss him and open your eyes to find this was all a horrible nightmare. 

“No. She was just convenient.”

You feel a pang of almost-pity for her, whoever she is. 

“Convenient for what? Sex? Affection? Companionship?”

He sighs, at a loss for words. 

“Did you like it better with her?” You ask. Childishly you add, “Is she prettier than me?” 

“Nah. It’s not about that.”

“Then what the fuck is it about? Give me a reason for why you cheated on me, Fez.”

“It started -“ He cuts himself off, frustration coloring his face. He’s usually so thoughtful before speaking that he basically never gets like this. “It started after that stupid fucking fight we had. I was pissed and I was pretty sure you were gonna dump me. And this girl I deal to called me to drop off some weed and pills. I felt fuckin’ alone and I just thought “Fuck it.” But then we didn’t break up. And I didn’t stop.”

“I made you feel alone?”

“No. This shit ain’t your fault, okay? It’s on me.”

“Fuck. Why are we even talking about this?”

You stand up, agitated to the core, and pace to the other side of the table. 

You look at him and he half shrugs, half shakes his head, like he doesn’t know how else to express his confused feelings. 

“I don’t want to lose you.”

The tears come hot and fast, all at once, breaking through the dam in your throat and your heart and your eyes. Vaguely, you see the blurry colors and shapes of Fez get up and come closer. 

Then you feel his arms around you and smell his soap and cologne and skin and the heat of his body. 

“D’you still love me?” He asks, his voice fearful and tender. You cover your face with your hands, caged in his arms. 

“I wish I didn’t, then it wouldn’t hurt so much.” You say. 

He smooths one hand down your spine, again and again. Soothing. You pull your hands away from your face and stare at the crook of his neck and shoulder to keep from looking him in the face. 

“I want to fucking kill you.” You admit. 

“Yeah.” His voice is tight. 

When you look up, you see the tears weighing down his lashes. A couple are scattered on his face, rolling slowly. 

He can’t take seeing you cry. He never could. 

“I love you.” He says, and when you look in his eyes and think about how beautiful they are, you can’t help but wonder if the other girl felt the same. 

“You hurt me.”

“Tell me how to fix it.”

You choke out a bitter laugh, your mouth and eyes wet and exhausted. 

“You won’t ever do this again?” You ask, and he let’s go of you to hold your face in both hands. His touch is soft. 

“Never.” He says. 

You put your hands on the back of his neck, and he gets the picture when you stretch up on your toes. He meets you halfway with so much ferocity it surprises you. 

The kiss is salted by the tears that had slipped into your mouths. It’s a warm kiss, and you feel like a leaf that’s trembling in a breeze. 

You break the kiss and look at his lashes fanning on his cheeks before he opens his eyes. His nose and mouth and the way his skin is flushed and pale all at once from the emotions flooding him. You probably look strange, too. 

“I don’t trust you. Now I know how well you lie.” You whisper. He shakes his head but you don’t let that stop you. “How can I be sure of anything you say? If I take you back, what’s stopping you from doing it again?”

You wish saying these things made you feel empowered. 

“I’ll prove it to you.”

“I don’t want to live like that, without trust. That’s no way to love a person.”

A few more tears escape the net of Fez’s lashes, landing on his cheeks. You wipe them away and he doesn’t close his eyes. 

You want to say goodbye, but it feels stupid. You’re going to be seeing him at every party, in every dark corner of town. You’ll probably still be smoking his weed even if you don’t buy it from him. You’ll spark a blunt and he will fill your mouth, you think. 

You gather up your courage and pick up your bag and open the door. 

You’re at the bottom of the stairs when Fez follows you. 

You hear the door creak and slam shut a second time and you can’t resist the urge to look back. Fez is at the top of the stairs, and when your eyes catch his he walks down towards you. You take a step backwards. 

“I love you.”

“Love isn’t enough.” You bite out. “I would have never done this to you.”

He lurches forward and you return his embrace this time when he holds you. You tuck your nose against the warmth of his skin, and you take it all in. The smell of his soap and cologne and laundry detergent. The rhythm of his pulse, the heat of his arms and hands around you. His stomach and chest rising and falling against your body with each breath. You squeeze your arms around his middle. You say goodbye to all of it. 

You pull away and your eyes flicker to his pink, perfect mouth for a moment. 

You hear something then - hesitant, light footsteps approaching. Ashtray. 

“Should I walk away, or will you?” You ask. 

“I’m not goin’ nowhere.” He answers, and the desperation in his voice makes you sick. 

You place your hands on his chest and push him away slowly. 

“It’s finished.” You say, and you leave, walking away in the opposite direction of Ash’s footsteps. 

#fezco x reader #fez x you #fez x reader #fezco x you #this was truly a challenge #thank you for sending in a request :)

[miioouu]

You're so dirty!

Apple babyyyy😔😔 @loveazumane I know i promised you smth for gradutaion and your bday, but life hasn't been going great lately. But!!! Instead!!! Have this short little thing until i can finish the proper fic! I hope you enjoy it!! ❤️💜❤️

Warning: smut, mutual mastutbation...

   

       It's the most inappropriate time and place to have your hand down you panties and rubbing on your bundle of nerves. But then again, what else were you supposed to do when you're sleeping right next to your hottest friend?

        It's really not unusual for you to spend the weekend at Kyoomi. The professional volleyball player has known you for ages, he trusts you, enough to let you sleep right next to him in his own bed. And to be completely honest, it's when he first told you "You can sleep in my bed if you want y/n. It's also easier to change bed sheets than clean the whole couch."  that butterflies erupted in your stomach. The man has put so much trust into you, how could you not feel special. And he smells so clean, the fresh scent of his shampoo filling in your nose whenever you breath in. His body hot, giving off heat and warmth, and the cool air outside just pushing you even more to inch close to him. For you arms to brush against his, your chest mere inches away from his naked one, a true sin and blessing that he sleeps shirtless. It's not your fault that your mind began to wonder, wild fantasies clouding your head, stripping you from all common sense, and that's how you found yourself, bottom lip trapped between your teeth, hand circling your clit, summoning all control to keep your body from thrashing and squirming around.

       You could've gone to the bathroom, but it's too cold to move. You could've slept it off, but it's to painful to ignore. You could've used your pride to keep you from a shameful situation if he ever catches you, but maybe that's what  you wanted. Your hand moving faster at the thought, your breathing becoming heavier and controlling your body becoming harder. A small sigh leaving your lips, a soft moan of his name escaping you, yout eyes widening up at the slip up, and you were to terrified to look at him, especially when you felt him move. But it didn't take long for you eyes to snap his way; the loud sound of spitting echoing through the room, saliva in his big hand glowing under the moonlight. "You're staring Y/n" his husky voice brought you back to reality. You didn't realize you stopped your movements, your legs pressed together and your mouth hung open until he chuckled, his fingers finding the waistband of your shorts and panties, dragging them down making you shiver as cold air hit your hot body "Should be easier now hmm? Now keep going for me..." As soon as he finished his sentence, his order, his own hand moved south, wrapping around his hard cock, his saliva mixing with his precome, coating his shaft as he jerked himself off, his orbs never once looking away from your hand. One of your digits dipping down, pushing past your walls and going in and out of you. Your eyes rolling back, your chest heaving, but it wasn't enough, one finger became two, then three. Your soft moans became loud screams of his name, the once cold air now hot, too hot. His hand trying to match the pace of your own, his body glistening with a sheen of sweat, his huffs and groans mixing with your voice. And he could tell you're close, from the way your thrusts became sloppier, your eyes squeezed shut, your "Kyoomi please, please, please..." which got his heart beating faster, his little princesse asking, begging him to let her cum even though you had all control "Yeah baby yeah, you like it when I watch you touch that dirty sluty cunt of yours? Mmm? And do you like seeing me jerk off? Oh gosh baby how I wish it was your little pussy instead of my hand, or maybe just your mouth? I could fuck that throat of yours, maybe it'll stop you from bitching for the next few days." His words and insults is all it took for you to tighten up, clench around your own fingers as you finally reached your high. Your back arching up and creating the perfect curve as his name slipped out of your pink lips like a mantra, like it's the only thing you know how to say. In the heat of it, your body moving on its own, your other hand wrapping around his wrist, nails digging into his skin so hard, your pleasure triggering his, he found himself shooting white ropes, landing on his chest, some on the sheets below him and even on you. "Oh.... You've ruined my bed Y/n! I guess I have to punish you for that..."

Ps: ummm apple i hope you like sakusa eiensjsn. I wanted to write you a piece for someone other than Asahi, and I thought that maybe you'd like him??? Idk 😬😬

#sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kyoomi x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa smut #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #smut #haikyuu smut #hq smut #Apple baby #Apple 🍎 #🍎

[blxetsi]

modern levi ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

levi ackerman x gn!reader

- firstly, lets get love language out of the way

- i think his love language would be acts of service

- so like, he'll brew your coffee for you and set out your favourite mug when he goes to the kitchen to make his tea (bc we all know he'd wake up earlier than you 🙄)

- or he'll pick up a muffin from your favourite bakery on his way home

- or if you ask him to remind you to do something later, he's immediately writing it out on a sticky note and sticking it somewhere youd notice

- he notices youre getting low on your favourite moisturizer ? or lipbalm ? he's taking a picture of the packaging and getting it the next time he drives past walmart or smth

- he just does little things that help make your day better

- now i feel like a lot of people say this already, but he is NOT very comfortable with public displays of affection

- its not that he doesnt like it when you touch him, or hold his hand, or kiss his cheek, he just gets flustered and feels like everyone is watching you two

- but one thing he does allow is looping your arms together while you walk, especially in crowded streets

- it doesnt mean he doesnt like being close with you, he just hates doing it public. when youre alone ? hes ALL OVER YOU.

- "will you play with my hair ?"

- "levi im working."

- "okay can you multitask ?" motherfucker 😐

- doesnt matter if hes the big spoon or little spoon, just being close to you is enough.

- also would try and get used to your love language

- if your love language is physical touch hes genuinely surprised by how many times you put his hands on him each day (NOT in a sexual way) like even his mother never touched him as much and he's a momma's boy 😳

- when you wake up your coming out to the kitchen to fill your coffee, but not before kissing the top of his head as you walk past

- then youre guzzling down your coffee like its water before putting it in the sink and walking back, petting his head in the process

- you'll hug him while hes cooking, or brushing his teeth. youre giving him kisses before he leaves and when he comes home, just little small acts of love, but it happens so frequently that levi cant help but notice it

- your love language is verbal affirmations ? youre getting your coffee while saying "goodmorning beautiful"

- "i love yous" are thrown at him a lot, they never fail to make him feel better

- youll compliment this man and he short circuits for a second, quickly gets used to it as time goes on

- also too i think he'd be taller in a modern au, but not very very tall like erwin, im talking 5'7" to 5'9"

- and he's fine with his height, it doesn't bother him that much, he's the average height of a man so what's the big deal ?

- also he really doesnt care about height either. youre shorter than him ? cool, that means he can bend down to give you little forehead kisses. around the same height as him ? awesome, that makes it easier for him to give you a peck on the lips. taller than him ? mf he'll climb you like a tree if he has to. really doesn't care.

- also doesn't have a preferences for body type or anything. he thinks that character is way more important than looks 100% and he'll always find different things about you beautiful. your laugh is weird ? k now he's making you two watch a john mulaney special to so youll laugh. hate your belly and wanna lose weight, he's holding you and telling you to only lose weight if you genuinely want to be "healthier" and not so you get skinny. your acne scars bother you ? he's kissing your cheeks a lot more than usual, but you can't complain. literally Loves Every Part of You

- also i think his family would absolutely ADORE YOU and his friends for that matter

- miss kuchel is pulling you into a hug the first time she sees you, and is so accomodating and sweet. shes genuinely interested in your interests and what you do for a living, and will NOT hesitate to get levi's baby pictures out if you ask.

- his uncle ? he probably wont be there for the family dinner, but then kuchel's gonna call him up like "levi's s/o ?? absolutely spectacular !!" and then hes like "huh maybe i gotta come visit to see the runt and his lover"

- also i think in a modern au, kuchel wouldve gotten really sick when levi is a boy, so kenny would have came home to take care of his sister and try and take care of levi. in the end she got better, and he went back to his own home, but now she requests that he come for at least one family holidy so they can all spend it together

- BUT back to mr. ackerman

- idk what he'd do in modern times, i used to think he'd be a good english professor for a university, but then i saw a headcanon that he'd go into law school and become a lawyer, and honestly ?? it makes sense

- after a long day at work he just wants to come home to you, he'll find you on the couch reading or doing some of your own work, so he'll just slip off his coat and blazer and undo his tie while slipping off his shoes by the door. before plopping his head in your lap and requesting you to play with his hair.

- if you don't live with him hes taking a shower and then immediately calling you asking to come over. if you can ?? great he'll be in bed waiting to be spooned. if not, thats fine, but levi would like to facetime and rant.

- also has the absolute WORST road rage

- "that little prick cut me off !"

- "levi he's taking his driver's test !"

- "so ? i hope that instructor doesn't give the idiot a pass 🙄" and then will immediately honk his horn at the poor kid.

- also wouldnt be a clean freak like in canonverse. his whole "everything has to be spotless" stuff stems from trauma, specifically being left in an apartment with his decaying mother for weeks on end, but since kuchel is alive that never happens

- were things a little hectic during the time she was sick ? sure ! but kenny always tried to tidy up a bit when he saw it was getting to levi.

- levi just likes things to be neat and tidy, he doesnt do a deep clean of his apartment every two weeks, but always makes sure to clean up his messes as soon as they happen

- also doesnt like to fight

- his mom raised him with the idea that communication is key, and always encouraged him to "explain why hes upset" so they could work together to come up with a solution

- its something hes taken with him to adulthood, and even though sometimes he sounds like hes talking to a child when hes trying to get you to "use your words" he really doesnt mean to

- if youre yelling at him he'll stand there like 😐 and wait until youre out of breath so he can say "okay lets talk about this"

- is also very handy

- have a hole in your wall ? hes coming over to fix it

- need a lightbulb changed ? hes got u dont worry

- you need to assemble a piece of furniture ? he glances at the step by step guide once before hes putting it together

- hes so great at that stuff, and you only have kenny to thank

- literally when kenny first came to stay with levi and kuchel when she was sick, the kitchen light went out and he asked levi to screw another lightbulb in, the poor kid stood there like 🤨 and when kenny said "what ? you don't know how to change a fucking lightbulb ?" levi shook his head and said "uncle kenny im seven 😐"

- kenny was APPALLED. and immediately made it his mission to make levi as handy as himself.

- also, dates with him are rlly lowkey.

- he likes being in your company, so staying home and ordering take out is AWESOME in his opinion. sometimes he'll dress up and make a fancy meal with you.

- if you like going to carnivals and stuff, he's reluctant but eventually caves. wins you a lot of the prizes.

- "fuck. this shit is rigged y/n"

- "sorry levi, lets go do something else !"

- "what ? no. give me another dollar im getting you that fucking turtle"

- hange always wants to see you. levi makes it his life mission to keep you away from them as much as possible. not because he doesnt want you to get along with his friends, just because he knows that hange will spill some embarassing secrets from his college days.

- erwin ? hes okay but hes on thin fucking ice.

- also is very gentlemanly. will not only hold the door for you but for everyone. hes waiting in line for his order and someone comes up behind him and asks him to scootch so they can get some napkins ? mf its grabbing a handful himself and handing it to the person, wishing them a nice day with a small smile. hes just like,, a genuinely good person

- his singing voice ? immaculate. will he sing for you ? no.

- he also loves playing board games with you. like chess or checkers. you love playing board games with him and his friends, specifically monopoly. hange makes moblit form an alliance with them. mike is a lone wolf, and erwin and levi are always helping each other out until erwin betrays him. lots of trust is ruined between these game nights, but you literally cant bring yourself to care because its so fun to watch it unfold

this is my first headcanon thingy !! im v excited !! hope u all enjoyed 🤩✨ should i do more headcanons like these ???

- all in all, levi is a cool guy, and a cool bf.

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan x reader #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #eren yeager #eren jaeger

[avenger-hawk]

Hey hawk, did you observe a pattern among people who participate in Woke-ism culture, they seem to have similar "traits" and "personality"? Dislike the "straight" orientation (usually identify themselves as gay/lesbian/bi and brags they are LGBT every second), they seem to think gender identity is a personality trait etc therefore "I'm holier than thou because I list myself as she/he/they/it". I bet they are gonna scream at me for being whatever "phobic" just because of this post lol

*clears throat* yeah they gonna scream at you but they can’t scream at me because it’s been a year that I am in an lgbt relationship soooo xD

Ofc I noticed this kind of behavior, these woke ppl really like be ‘different’ and tbh the thing I find more irritating is when they define themselves ‘autistic’ or ‘asperger’ or ‘adhd’ whathever other mental illness/condition, because these are serious things that should be diagnosed by a specialist and not an online tests, and usually ppl who have a real problem are not so incredibly vocal about it. Sure they don’t brag with it....”but I don’t have money to take a test and my parents don’t let me!” they say? yeah. could be. but it also could be that you just wanna look special and since you’re socially anxious or shy or just a b*tch, you like to play rude and then justify yourself with those labels, and if someone dares tell you you’re a piece of shit you can call them ableist lol

Same for race or country. Not taking anything away from populations/countries/cultures/religions that have been oppressed, but sometimes I cringe cause some ppl try so hard to fit in this. Like, at some point 99% of populations were invaded by others and oppressed, and I’m sorry for welsh ppl, to just name one (no offense it’s the first that came to my mind cause I read a post recently lol) but if this continues we’re gonna have to seek justice for the victims of the vikings’ raids lolol

Anyway, back to what you were saying. I partly get that lgbt ppl are vocal about what they are bc maybe they can’t tell their families or friends, and they use social media as outlets. but like you said, your personality is not defined by who you f*ck and/or love (It’s not even defined by the fiction you like, actually, but they think so). So while I understand ppl describe themselves in their profile and specify their gender identity and sexuality, for me it’s cringey when they take it too far. Like when they start with all the labels ever, or they make combinations...demisexual panromantic/asexual demiromantic/trans nonbinary aroace spectrum...sounds like a competition of who’s less ordinary. Bonus points if they also add race and illness. Bonus points if they pretend they’re experts and activist and they shit on ppl who ship something or speak of top/bottom bc they’re fetishizing gay mlm/wlw and how dare they, dirty cishets (cause Anon, straight is a too banal word lol).

(also...not to offend ‘aroace’ ppl out there but...when someone is like 12...couldn’t it be that they’re just...too young for caring about sex/love? asking for a friend lolol)

I mean, tumblr has a lot of lgbt ppl and it’s cool, and I know it’s hard to live as an lgbt person cause you can’t do what het ppl do normally, like kissing in public or holding hands or writing cute posts on fb bc someone might bitch or be even worse, so this creates a bitterness and aggressiveness on social media I guess, especially here where minorities are the majority lol. And I too, on my personal blog, occasionally ranted about things like internalized homophobia and queerbaiting, but only very rarely lol and no one paid attention to me, guess I am not lgbt enough hahahah

But, it’s stupid to use sexuality labels as a shield to shit on ppl and then call them --phobic when they react. It actually happened to me a couple of years ago, I wrote something about bottom Sasuke and this self defined aromantic+asexual+autistic+gay american dude attacked me for fetishizing gays. Back then I was in a relationship with a guy so for him I was only a boring straight person I guess, a gross fujoshi who dared like mlm haha. fuck him. If I were the same type of person as him I would have pulled the oppressed card, I could have attacked him reminding him that his country treated italian immigrants like animals, and that they had this veeeery big problem of being unsure about our ‘race’ so in their papers they often wrote ? cause they couldn’t understand if we were poc or not...but it would have been kinda off topic and I cartainly don’t waste time talking about me to ppl I don’t even trust to be what they say.

Also because I was raised by parents who were very politically involved, so I remember them doing activism, like, getting out of the house, going to protests, doing volunteering, even taking me along when I was little. So even tho now everything happens online first, and even tho posts can spread awareness and change ppl’s minds, I still don’t trust when I see those blogs full of angry woke activism, because they seem fake and even those ppl seem fake. It’s easy to scream for justice from a keyboard, in a comfortable house. It’s less easy to protest in the cold, risking to have problems with the police, the government, the pandemic, whatever else.

It’s irritating that wokies want to take the right to like smth in the right way or whatever, telling everyone else who don’t fit in the minority group that they can’t like the thing. Idk, I just wish ppl were like in Eastern Asian fandoms, not making everything about themselves, being open minded enough for whatever ‘different’ thing whether they are into it or not, and if they’re not ignoring it only.

And I do get wanting to fit the minority, as a teenager I was veery punk/gothic, depending on the moment, and I never fit in the majority opinions or habits anyway. And I was kind of fluid with my identity and sexuality, but silly me, I kept it for myself, even tho I discussed with those who insulted lgbt ppl and I wrote stuff where everyone is bisexual by default, thinking that it was how people were born before society conditioned them...I could have bragged but I had no idea about ‘fluid’ or ‘pan’, silly me.

I am so irritated at everything, like the words they use, even the english language that is not mine, is getting on my nerves because it’s the vehicle for their crap, but these periodically trending words are disgusting like these ppl to me.

I migth have gone out of topic again lol.

#replies &co #fanon and fandom stuff #kinda #lol this gonna make me lose followers #couldn't care less I hate fake ppl #Anonymous

[pedantichoe]

Rhythm of War spoilers under the cut

...

Perfect I’m glad that actually worked :)

1. WHAT THE NUTS?!2?:??:?:? I’VE LOST MY GOSHDANG MARBLES NOT TO MENTION SEVERAL PIECES OF MY SOUL AND ALL MY SANITY (clearly since I already said marbles r gone) HEAD IS EMPTY FELLAS

I’m honesty just still at a loss for words. The implications every major investiture-related reveal has are enormous. The light. The harmonies. The spren experiments??? Ishar what the eff word are you doing dude!??!???

I was under the delusion that there was going to be a mega battle between Moash and Kaladin at the end of the book that was gonna be Uber painful but then have that allow Kaladin to swear the fourth ideal (in my head it was smth like Dalinar v Odium in Oathbringer but I am aware that would be way too clean a parallel and branderson just doesn’t work like that). INSTEAD we got an altercation that caused me to BAWL MY EYES OUT FOR FOURTY-FIVE MINUTES

Some lead-up. Somewhere around the time Moash got the spren-killing dagger I could just feel an awful build-up of tension and anxiety. I may not be able to hear the rhythms of Roshar but let me tell you if I could..... I would be attuned to terrors m8. So anyways I knew shit was gonna go DOWN but I didn’t know exactly what. Then Moash got the knife and my brain was just like “if he kills Sylphrena....” but I was just like HHHHH GOTTA KEEP READING

I’ll need to go downstairs and actually grab my book at some point to make sure I have the timeline right but there was a point where I had to set the book down and do some breathing exercises and walk around a little. And then Oho boy. When Teft walked in and saw Moash I just... I lost it a little. And then what actually happened????? My dogs woke me up at 5 AM and as I’m struggling out of some weird cosmere-related dream I remember whag Moash did and I’m just sitting there in the dark dogs whining to go out -crying- because how could he do that how could he how could he

And I know at the start of the book when Godeke or whatever edgedancer came to get Kal out of the manor fire was standing in the doorway and Moash had some kind of.... bit of his soul? Smth??? Show a version of who he /could/ be (wait that wasn’t Renarin was it cuz that would make sense...... hmmmmmmmm). That COULD mean he will have some opportunity at redemption which. If there is ANYBODY I trust to do it well and with feeling, it’s Brandon, but also a huge part of me does NOT. WANT. HIM. REDEEMED. I want him crushed and broken in every way with the full weight of what he did bearing down upon him but also hhhhhhh I’m sure we will get smth much cooler than anything I could think up ANYWAY

Why are the splits between paragraphs getting so big tumblr what is wrong with you

See this one is normal

Okay ANYWAYS

Kaladin. Bitch this man is a LOT. he’s just. I think the thing I appreciate most about these books is that the heroes aren’t perfect. They’re often damaged. Feel broken. And IN that they expand upon their ideals and ultimately make the first one just such an inspiring message. Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination.

So Kaladin. He is just uhhhh amazing??? What I think truly encapsulates what I love about him is when it’s just he and Syl and the stonecast statue of Teft. The sadness is still there and I know it hurts him so much. But the guilt? The ability to grow in your losses and find yourself stronger and more human and more understanding because of it??? Ultimately THAT is where Moash and Odium are wrong. Kaladin and Dalinar have found and CONTINUE to find how to grow in their pain. How to not just deal with, but ACCEPT and OWN their pain and sorrow. They are finding the peace that Odium would have brought through numbness and loss. I don’t really know how to phrase this exactly how I would like. But I’m proud of this message. Im glad for this message.

When Wit helps Kaladin into that warm bubble and tells him he will be warm again, that just hit. The message in these books is about oaths and ideals and promises. It’s about growing into something so much more than you ever could have dreamed, and NOT by giving up your pain or your guilt or your loss or your anger to someone who would leave you a shell as a byproduct. When Teft died he died full of hope. He knew he was forgiven. He didn’t lose to Moash, to Odium, to the moss or to anyone or anything else. He lived and died with Honor. And in doing so proved that the power to change existed within him. It just needed support. Like a small flame. You can’t leave it open to the winds, or it will extinguish, but it DOES need air. It does need to be stoked to grow. Teft did it. So can you.

I went on both Instagram and Snapchat to try and talk about how deeply connected I feel to these books and the messages and characters in them. I wasn’t nearly as eloquent as I would have liked. But at the end of the day I am so grateful for how I’ve been able to grow and change and be shaped by my trials and experiences. I didn’t spend this year in as dark of a place as Kaladin, but I did feel trapped and stuck. I felt like a failure. I felt weak and angry and like there was no way to get to where I had been. Like I couldn’t remember the words.

And not just this book, but so many things in my life have helped me to see that I am valid and I am growing and I will stumble and make mistakes but through it all, the oaths that I have made, and the ideals that I keep are what make me me, and will continue to temper my soul and my spirit as I go along this journey.

I don’t need everyone to love these books as much as I do. Or feel as strongly about the messages or be as affected by the characters, the plot, and the INSANELY good writing. But I hope everyone has, finds, and clings to what makes them warm. What brings them light. We all make mistakes. We all will continue to mess up. We need to be corrected and shaped and we need to grow and change. But I for one am sick of hating people on principle. I’m sick of the feeling in my stomach like the world is falling to shit and that nothing I do or say will ultimately have any positive effect. I’m sick of living in a shade-darker world where I hate everything and feel like I should hate everything. I’m sick of being angry.

As a related side note. As we get to know more about the shards I hope someone makes a “which shard of Adonalsium are you!” Quiz because that would be very interesting. As is?? This year I have been Odium. I am passionate. But I am angry. I am so so angry. And I don’t -want- to be so angry anymore. I want to have hope. I want to follow light. I want to CHOOSE life and strength and journey and I want to sacrifice what I need to to get there. Kaladin’s fourth ideal is recognizing he can’t save everyone. I want to follow the ideal that those out there deserving of love and compassion outweigh my need to feel angry and unjust at those that destroy those things. I’ll work on phrasing as I go. I’m not quite ready to swear it, but the words are coming. I can feel them.

What Maya did was reveal that in the darkest of times for Radiants and their bonds, there was a choice that was made. And -no one,- spren, god, or otherwise, can take away the fact that it was THEIR choice. It is my choice whom I serve. It is my choice what I sacrifice and what I hold on to. And I will not let the voices of those telling me I have to hate everything and everyone take charge over me.

I hope everyone out there finds their ideals. And keeps to them. And knows that there is hope and light and life. That there is strength before weakness. And courage before cowardice. And a journey before their destination.

And that ultimately, the most important words a person can say are: “I will do better.” And the most important step they can take is the next one.

Life before death. Always. Life before death.

#the pedant rambles on and on about ideals for 95 years and no one is surprised #pedantics #rhythm of war #rhythm of war spoilers #the stormlight archive #stormlight archive #stormlight archive spoilers #stormlight spoilers #row spoilers #cosmere #cosmere spoilers #cfsbf #fuck moash #life before death

[ayellowcurtain]

Wondering if you could write something about maybe Jens following Robbe from the party on Saturday and finding him at the edge of the bridge and talking him down, taking him home to Milan and Robbe spills it all to the both of them. // Please fulfill my crackhead dreams and write a Jebbander fic pleease // can I pls have smth like; jens is secretly pining for robbe while robbe is still sad abt sander but jens is a good friend so he's just supportive and protective (even tho he's kinda hurting) // Robbe's suicide attempt? How would the flatshare reach or Jens?

He didn’t understand how bad things were for Robbe until a second ago. It never crossed Jens’ mind that Robbe would have the courage to do something like this. 

“What are you doing?” The way Robbe talks so calmly while standing on the edge of a bridge, way too close to falling into some freezing water scares Jens. Robbe is unreachable. Whatever he might try to say to change Robbe’s mind won’t help. Something really bad happened and Jens can’t let him do something stupid, so he climbs right next to Robbe, never looking down. It’s not too high, but it’s enough to scare him. Jens really doesn’t wanna fall, but he’s more concerned about taking Robbe safely out of there.

He tries to look around, acting like he doesn’t know what Robbe plan was. It starts pouring and Robbe looks up. Jens tries to look at him without being noticed and he’s sure Robbe is crying. He quietly steps closer, just in case Robbe slips, he can hold him. 

“Come on, Robbe. Let’s get out of here.” Jens quietly holds the back of Robbe’s jacket, trying to keep him as far away from the edge as it’s possible. “I’m not leaving if you don’t come with me.” 

Robbe is still lost inside his own head, but he’s not trying to get away from Jens’ grip either, so Jens lets him be for a little more, trying to look away, calm himself down. He tries to stop thinking about what could have happened if he didn’t follow Robbe here. 

The rain stops all of a sudden and Robbe finally looks at Jens, but just for a second, looking at the water beneath them. 

“I’m gay, Jens. All these bruises are because some guys saw me kissing a guy I’m in love with.” 

It’s his turn to be in shock, not knowing what to do or what to say. Robbe turns around way too quickly for Jens liking, jumping back into solid ground, waiting for him to do the same. 

Jens swallows hard, looking at the water for just a second, jumping off as well, looking at Robbe. He’s in love with a guy. 

“I’ll walk you home.” Robbe is so small and he looks even smaller now. He’s soaked, his face is still a little bruised and he has really dark circles around his eyes. Robbe starts walking in silence and Jens can’t pretend like he’s good at giving advice. What Robbe said is still ringing inside his ears. Jens has absolutely no idea who the other guy is. Robbe has been hiding a lot of things from him this past month and Jens freaked out, acted like a fucking asshole and probably threw Robbe right into someone else’s arms. 

They walk in silence for a very long time. Jens looks at Robbe and he’s shivering. His lips are purple and his face looks even worse than earlier. Jens holds his arm, making him stop, already taking his windbreaker off, putting it in between his legs, taking his hoodie off, instantly feeling the cold air almost freeze him, but his hoodie is still warm. 

“Here. Put this on.” Robbe’s brain must have frozen because he doesn’t really move. “Robbe, put my hoodie, you’re gonna fucking freeze, bro.” 

Robbe finally holds his hoodie and Jens can put his windbreaker back on, holding Robbe’s jacket while he takes his own hoodie off, putting Jens’, getting his jacket back, but only holding it now. 

Jens wants to ask a million questions, but maybe tonight is just not the time. Robbe is constantly saying “not now” so Jens guesses he can ask later when they’re somewhere warmer, able to properly think again. On their way to Robbe’s place, he just watches Robbe. He’s clearly not present, he’s probably thinking about the guy he’s in love with or about their fight. Robbe talked about bruises, which means there are more than whatever happened on his face. 

-

“Robbe! Just let me see it, man!” Jens tried to understand what happened, what bruises was Robbe talking about and he’s angry, not wanting to talk about it, but Jens won’t let go this time. 

Milan comes to see what’s going on, looking from Jens to Robbe. 

“What’s going on?” Jens and Robbe are still looking at each other, waiting for the other one to give up, but Robbe loses, closing his eyes and lifting his shirt and Jens’ hoodie all the way to his chest. Jens can’t look at it after a moment, walking away and he can hear the shock in Milan’s shaky breath. The image of Robbe’s skin with a huge bruise all over his ribs will never be forgotten. Jens had never seen anything like that before. He can’t even imagine how bad the fight was. 

Robbe finally started talking when they got inside the elevator, but he doesn’t remember all the details either. Jens wants to find whoever did this to Robbe and just kill them all. 

“We have to go to the police.” Milan says and Jens turns back to look at the other two. Robbe is finally putting his clothes back down, shaking his head. 

“No. I’m not going to the police. There’s no way. I’m feeling better already.” Now Jens wants to punch Robbe too. He looks at him and Robbe already starts explaining himself, looking at Jens. “I’m ok, Jens.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Did you look at yourself in the mirror? I’m not even sure you’re in one piece, Robbe!” Milan is a little lost, but Jens doesn’t care, Robbe can be so stubborn sometimes. He always acts like he’s fine like nothing happened until it’s too late. And it’s past “too late” already. 

“Who did this, Robbe?” Milan finally asks, trying to stop their fight, give some time for both of them to calm down. Robbe looks at Jens and he instantly knows that whatever Milan knows, whatever Robbe told him, it’s a big pile of lies. 

Jens wants to tell Milan everything, but it’s not his place. Milan is older than them, maybe he would be able to put some sense back into Robbe, but there’s nothing Jens can do right now. 

Robbe doesn’t answer and Jens can see Milan’s brain starting to understand that Robbe is lying to him. 

“Robbe! You can tell me...” He puts both hands on Robbe’s shoulder, trying to get his attention. 

“Sander and I...” Robbe already can’t really say it, Jens can see him swallowing hard and Milan is not surprised to hear Sander’s name, so he knows. Everyone knows about Robbe except for Jens. 

Sander. Britt’s new boyfriend. He’s the one Robbe is in love with. And he and Jens have nothing in common. Robbe is falling in love with someone who Jens can’t even compete with. 

Jens watches as Robbe stops talking and Milan instantly hugs him tightly and Robbe finally exhales, his hands are shaking when he hugs Milan back and Jens feels like the worst person ever. Robbe trusts Milan and not Jens. Somewhere Jens fucked up so badly that it pushed his best friend as far away from him as possible. 

Milan and Robbe are crying and Jens feels invisible or unwelcome, but this is not about him. 

“Have you gone to the police yet?” Milan asks and Jens is so, so incredibly thankful that he’s on the same page as Jens, but Robbe looks down and gives Milan the exact answer he gave Jens not too long ago. 

“No...” 

“Robbe...” Milan shakes Robbe a little, but Robbe is not changing his mind. Jens thinks about how deeply traumatized he must be to not want to go to the police or talk about what happened to anyone. 

“Robbe, you have to go to the police. They can’t just keep living their lives while you keep hiding, afraid that this might happen again.” Milan and Robbe finally seem to notice that Jens is still there and Milan nods his head, agreeing with Jens and waiting for Robbe’s answer. 

“I’ll think about it. Now I just wanna sleep for a little.” Robbe looks at Jens and he can’t help but just look at his best friend for a second, using Jens’ clothes that are a little too long for him. “You can sleep here if you want.” 

Jens wants to stay, to make sure that Robbe is ok and that he’s going to the police first thing in the morning, but he’s not sure if he can handle watching how devastated Robbe is for not being loved back by Sander. 

Sander! 

“If it’s okay with you...” Robbe smiles and Jens can’t believe how strong he is, trying to move on with his life even after everything that he just went through. They’ll probably never talk about it, but Jens might never be able to forget how he found Robbe nearly an hour ago. From now on, he’ll try to always be close to Robbe, reminding him why it’s so good to be alive. 

“I have an old mattress in my room, wait a second.” Milan goes to his bedroom to grab the mattress and Robbe goes to his room, waiting for Jens to follow him. 

There’s more than enough room for both of them to sleep on the bed, but Robbe doesn’t say anything and Jens can’t just invite himself to sleep right next to Robbe either so he just waits and helps Milan put the mattress inside Robbe’s bedroom. 

If it’s worth something, Robbe sleeps using Jens’ hoodie, hiding inside the hood, hugging his pillow like he’s a koala spooning someone that’s not Jens. Jens thinks they might start sharing that hoodie and maybe they’ll have something that is theirs and nobody else’s. 

#wtfock #robbe ijzermans #jens stoffels #jebbe #...yeah...

[knb-shorts-and-sweets]

hi!! i lov ur blog!!! can i get a scenario w gom+hanamiya where their male s/o catches them cheating on him w a girl and hes just like "o srry,," or is just silent and walks away all casual like he expected them to eventually cheat on him w a girl bc he was just "an experiment" or smth like that and they try to explain or fix things between them but now hes too afraid to trust them in fear of getting cheated on again? :00

I think that: a) I didn’t give you what you asked for and b) I had too much fun with this

Kuroko: For some reason, he wasn’t where he normally was after practice. You would meet him to walk home together on Wednesdays. Thinking he might still be in the locker room or something, you made your way to the gym. You could hear voices echoing as you got a bit closer, one of which was clearly Tetsu’s velvety murmur. The other was much too familiar, and much too female. You were silent, so when they quieted down, chills began to run down your spine. Just peeking your head in, you could see the two clearly, baby blue and soft pink, like cotton candy. Although it probably tasted like sulfur. Tetsu didn’t have the wherewithal to pull away from his childhood friend until he heard the sound of your half-assed applause for them. He looked shocked, stiff, like a deer in the headlights. Momoi was too uncomfortable to even look at you. Throughout your relationship, you could never shake the feeling that he was in love with her. You were just a fling, a way for him to figure himself out. It hurt a little bit to finally accept the truth before you. “I figured you really were just into girls,” you said softly, “but you could have at least been honest with me.” With that, you turned to leave. He couldn’t just let you leave like that. It was a misunderstanding, really. He stood up and rushed to stand between you and the door, so that he could explain what happened. But the damage was done and it felt like you walked right through him as you left.

Kise: It was something you always tried to ignore. Girls flocked to him for his attention (which you really couldn’t blame them for doing) but for some reason, he always felt the need to flirt back. It was lunch, and you were sitting across from him, trying to get food down despite your lack of appetite, and watching your boyfriend give his attention to someone else right in front of you. Not even that Kuroko guy. Just some girl; she was hanging around him a lot lately. But the position of his arm caught your eye and you knew in an instant that he was holding her hand under the table, right in front of you. Red-faced with both anger and embarrassment, you stood up suddenly, slamming your hands on the table. “I get it,” you spat. Kise was frozen for a moment in shock, and by the time he came to, you had thrown your uneaten lunch away and were halfway to the door, muttering to yourself about how stupid you were to ever believe he could be into you. He tried to go after you, but his foot got caught underneath the table and he fell backwards. Calling your name was pointless as you couldn’t hear much over the sound of your breaking heart pounding in your ears.

Midorima: You were just walking around the corner of the hallway, hoping that you would be able to run into him. When you saw him earlier that day, he was stressing about today being a particularly bad day for cancers and was unable to get his lucky item. You’d gone out of your during lunch to find it for him, going so far as to stop at a resale store where you were finally able to your hands on the hollow glass rabbit. You were doing your best to get over your reservations about dating him, as you were unsure if he was really into you or just curious and using your convenient crush on him as an opportunity to experiment. Perhaps you were right to doubt him; as you turned the corner, you immediately spotted the carrot only about ten feet away. The next thing you noticed was the girl beside him, pressed against his side, and his arm that was wrapped so comfortably around her. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. When he realized you were there, he pulled away from her and tried to approach you but you tossed the lucky item to his feet, happy to see it shatter right in front of him. Ha. Relatable. With that, you turned and tried to get away from him with as much of your dignity as you could manage.

Aomine: You were at his place, in his bed, with his arm wrapped around you as he slept beside you. His phone was under your pillow, so it wasn’t like you could ignore the buzzing that signaled he had a text. You would have gladly ignored it, but there was another one, and a few minutes later another one. You pulled the phone out from under your pillow and only glanced at the screen. You couldn’t help yourself. The messages were all from the same number, the name definitely belonging to a girl. You could figure out his pass-code easily (he was predictable and not that clever). Your heart dropped down into your stomach as you opened the messages, tears welling up in your eyes as you scrolled through older messages. Seeing the pictures exchanged between the two caused you to let out a sob, successfully waking him beside you. “What’s wrong?” he groaned, unaware of his phone in your hand. You pulled yourself out of his arms and off the bed as you tossed the phone at his chest. You knew the kinds of bodies he was attracted to, and you certainly didn’t fit the mold. You’d been trying to convince yourself that it was real, that he was actually interested in you. But like always, he was just fucking around, playing a game so easily with no effort at all. “I’m so stupid for taking this seriously for a second,” you murmured to yourself as you grabbed your things, trying your best not to slam his door on your way out.

Murasakibara: You had a cooking class together, although he was stuck at the counter in front of yours. It wasn’t so bad at first. Often during class he would turn to let you taste whatever you were making and you would do the same. And then it happened less often, and less, as his class partner was requiring more and more of his attention every day. She started by feeding him extra snacks she brought, making extra whipped cream on the side, but you hoped Murachin was only accepting it all because he really couldn’t think beyond his taste buds. But there was always that aching dread that he was more interested in her, you were just a fling to satisfy his curiosity. Then one day she offered to play the pocky game, and he accepted. You counted the seconds that passed by as their lips remained pressed together, watching in horror as she reached up to cup his cheek in her hand. The mixing bowl you’d been holding dropped onto the counter and you quickly began packing up your things, hoping that you would be able to get to a bathroom before a panic attack ensued. You couldn’t subdue your doubts anymore when the proof was right in front of you.

Akashi: You knew he wasn’t one for excessive romance or affection, and it hadn’t bothered you for the most part. Who were you kidding? It made your heart drop a bit every time he ignored you or shied away from your touch, claiming he needed to focus. Was he even attracted to you at all? Sometimes you worried that he didn’t get to know you during your time working on a project together and discovering that he was interested in you. It was very possible that he was just curious, and you were cute and smart enough and in the right place at the right time. The latter seemed more likely, as you tended to be in that position often, like today. You left your phone in your desk, but didn’t realize until you were halfway across the school. When you finally got there, you were a bit out of breath, but the wind was knocked out of you completely when you opened the door to the classroom to find a girl sitting on your desk with her hand resting on top of your phone and your supposed boyfriend leaning over her, kissing her. You pursed your lips as you approached them. Luckily for you, your insecurities led to you rehearsing this moment in your head at night a lot. Swiping your phone from the desk, you looked at Akashi directly. “I see,” you said softly before leaving the two to their business.

Hanamiya: There was something thrilling about being with him. Maybe it was due to something as simple as his demeanor. You suspected that it had more to do with the fact that you couldn’t quite figure his motives out. You went into this thinking that it would last a week or two, that he was just messing around, figuring himself out. But lately you were starting to get the impression that maybe he was after something more. Foolish of you to think like that. He was taking too long to meet up with you after school, and you made your way to the only place you could think of him lingering in right now: the locker room. You were unfortunately correct to assume he’d be there, although he wasn’t waiting for you to find him or anything like that. You found him there in nothing but a towel–which was being held up around his waist by some girl’s hands. He looked up at you and rolled his eyes when he saw who just walked in on them. “You have wonderful timing,” he said with a small sneer on his lips. You turned away from him, “I knew why you were with me, what I was getting myself into,” casually waving your hand as you walked off, “Glad you figured it out.”

#KNB #Kuroko Tetsuya #Kise Ryouta #Midorima Shintarou #Aomine Daiki #Murasakibara Atsushi #murachin #akashi seijirou #gom #hanamiya makoto

[oasisprngsmoved-blog]

125 questions about me

i was tagged by @surreysimmer and @oasisable, lov u guys. the point of the tag is to create a simself w your traits and answer the questions!

i tag: @brndletonbae @vvindenburg and anyone else who hasnt done it yet!

my traits are dog lover, geek and hot-headed!

125 questions below the cut

1. what is your name? taylah

2. what is your nickname? tay

3. birthday? aug 30 1998

4. what is your favorite book series? the illuminae files by amie kaufman and jay kristoff

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts? yessss

6. who is your favorite author? neal shusterman

7. what is your favorite radio station? i only use apple music

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything? raspberry flavour mhm

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? incredible

10. what is your current favorite song? i literally have no idea

11. what is your favorite word? no clue

12. what was the last song you listened to? i can hear my mother listening to abba downstairs

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch? brooklyn nine nine

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? mr beans holiday

15. do you play video games? yeeee, lately ive been playing detroit become human, the new spiderman game and gta v :-) 

16. what is your biggest fear? CLOWNS

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion? im really empathetic 

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion? i can be an asshole

9. do you like cats or dogs better? dogs

20. what is your favorite season? winter

21. are you in a relationship? no

22. what is something you miss from your childhood? my dad,,,,,

23. who is your best friend? jacqui + kelsey and also jills + haley

24. what is your eye color? hazel

25. what is your hair color? black

26. who is someone you love? my dog

27. who is someone you trust? see q.23

28. who is someone you think about often? my dad

29. are you currently excited about/for something? christmas

30. what is your biggest obsession? i develop fixations real fast u could ask me my biggest obsession and itll change in 2 days

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child? probably zoey-101 or smth like that

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? bold of q.32 to assume i trust people

33. are you superstitious? yeah

34. do you have any unusual phobias? broken glass

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind

36. what is your favorite hobby? watch netflix, game, work kkfbcuaajl

37. what was the last book you read? sadie by courtney summers

38. what was the last movie you watched? bohemian rhapsody

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any? none

40. what is your favorite animal? dogs, sloths and sharks

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow? i cant narrow things down im indecisive

42. what superpower do you wish you had? invisibility

43. when and where do you feel most at peace? when i knock tf out and finally sleep kwbaubfdl but also when im home alone

44. what makes you smile? when someone laughs at my dumb jokes

45. what sports do you play, if any? this is so funny

46. what is your favorite drink? vanilla coke

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? no clue

48. are you afraid of heights? kind of

49. what is your biggest pet peeve? when people dont listen

50. have you ever been to a concert? yeah 

51. are you vegan/vegetarian? no but i want to be

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? hotel manager

53. what fictional world would you like to live in? harry potter lmao

54. what is something you worry about? everything!!!!!

55. are you scared of the dark? not really

56. do you like to sing? like to yes, but i cant sing

57. have you ever skipped school? yes and i skip uni all the time im depressed

58. what is your favorite place on the planet? my bed

59. where would you like to live? anywhere but australia

60. do you have any pets? i have a fifi!! (a dog... she was gonna be in the photos with my simself but her breed isnt in the game so sad)

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunsets

63. do you know how to drive? yes

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones? i call them earphones so no clue what the difference is

65. have you ever had braces? no

66. what is your favorite genre of music? literally anything

67. who is your hero? no clue

68. do you read comic books? i read graphic novels but not comic books

69. what makes you the most angry? rude people!!!!!

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? both im not bothered

71. what is your favorite subject in school? rn i love my social science classes

72. do you have any siblings? 4 brothers 2 sisters

73. what was the last thing you bought? gta v

74. how tall are you? 5′4 / 163cm

75. can you cook? yeah

76. what are three things that you love? my friends, my family, my dog

77. what are three things that you hate? stress, rude opinionated people, people who ignore what you say

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends? female friends i dont talk to men besides my brother and my boss

79. what is your sexual orientation? lmaoooooooooo no idea atm ha

80. where do you currently live? australia

81. who was the last person you texted? sam

82. when was the last time you cried? the other night larbnlcbadj

83. who is your favorite youtuber? how ridiculous

84. do you like to take selfies? not really

85. what is your favorite app? tumblr

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like? pretty good but my mums a taurus so shes stubborn af

87. what is your favorite foreign accent? french

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? everywhere im stuck in the bottom of the globe someone save me

89. what is your favorite number? 7

90. can you juggle? no

91. are you religious? no

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? space!!! but both are interesting tbh

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? no

94. are you allergic to anything? no but im lactose intolerant

95. can you curl your tongue? yes

96. can you wiggle your ears? no

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something? no im also stubborn af

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach? neither

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? someone, the other day, told me im young with relatively little life experiences and that struggling with myself is okay and to not worry about the future idk this makes no sense with 0 context to what we were talking about but it helped a lot.

100. are you a good liar? depends i can tell my boss im sick and i cant work when im Depressed^tm just fine but i cant lie to a friend

101. what is your hogwarts house? slytherin

102. do you talk to yourself? yes rip

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert? bitta both

104. do you keep a journal/diary? i have a priv twitter acc where only 2 people follow me and i act like its my journal so close enough

105. do you believe in second chances? depends on the circumstances

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? turn it in

107. do you believe that people are capable of change? again depends

108. are you ticklish? oh yes

109. have you ever been on a plane? yes

110. do you have any piercings? i have my ears done twice, my helix and my nose

111. what fictional character do you wish was real? cress from tlc

112. do you have any tattoos? no

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? deciding to go to uni

114. do you believe in karma? yeee

115. do you wear glasses or contacts? glasses, contacts freak me out

116. do you want children? no, if i were to have kids id wanna adopt

117. who is the smartest person you know? no idea

118. what is your most embarrassing memory? anything from 2015/2016

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yes

120. what colour are most of you clothes? black and grey

121. do you like adventures? depends

122. have you ever been on tv? no

123. how old are you? 20

124. what is your favorite movie quote? the gone girl monologue i wont quote it because its a SPOILER but its my fav

125. sweet or savory? sweet

#saviorhide #nonsims #tag #get to know me tag #also i have bangs and theres no decent cc with bangs that LOOKS LIKE MY HAIR #so deal w me still using grimcookies kathryn hair

[123456789giovana-blog]

It started with a stomach ache. I know how ordinary. Such a curious basic premise. Somehow it led me to puke in the shower. My legs scattered all over the floor. The water eagerly completed each space of my body. It was too hot, but not warm enough. Seven knocks on the door to tell me i was wasting too much water, too much time embracing the well being of hiding under a curtain that for once wasnt made of rain. Stumbling i reached my room, my body felt like another weight over my shoulders, strange because my shoulders felt like they were a part of the non existent order. This is when it started, let me tell you, having a mental breakdown is not romantic nor beautiful nor something to idolatre, having a breakdown is ugly, is disturbing, you feel like a lunatic searching for anything to make the feeling of detachment go away. “I want to rip my face of” The first thing that i coherently thought, my dirty hands all over my face, tucking my eyes in trying to make the fucking hallucinations go off, i felt for a moment that my face was disfigured, as if my weak fingers could easily kill something off that quickly. In that moment i wanted to die again. Not that it was only then that the thought came again but i felt it so hard so real i went frantic over finding a razor i could slice every part of my skin open with. Like a maniac, thats how i felt. And i felt disgust and proudness at the same time. Eventually “she” woke up, one pill, two pills to calm the reagent beast. “She” put me to bed, curled me in blankets and left me there casted by the shadow of numbness. I will not lie. I cried, but not the cry so hard i cant breathe, it was the im having a panic attack and i cant fucking breathe so i am going to cry. Dry tears carresed my cheeks even after i calmed down. Let me tell you that being so wrecked that tears fall without a movement in your face or a sob to make itself known is sad. Just utterly sad and ridiculous. I felt like dying, until the meds kicked in. There “she” went again taking me out of bed making me seem okay even though i wasnt. That is what a breakdown is. Its not beautiful. Its not romantic. Its not inspirational. Its not. Not being in control of yourself, not being yourself, not being a human fucking being until a little piece of solid substances enter your blood is not fucking pretty. So stop romanizing the fuck out of mental illnesses because i fucking bet its not something youll wanna have once you see its rawness and not some stupid movie or series that tells you how its supposed to look like. MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL. ENGRAVE THAT IN YOUR HEAD. And i will tell you why. Because i don’t wish this feeling, whatever disturb on anyone else because honestly it feels like a sack of shit. So please stop quoting depressing statements and idolatring them. Because there are people oit there who would give anything not to truly, rawly relate to them. Please be aware of this. Please educate yourself on it. Please take care of yourselves. Please take care of your friends, of your family but never before your own self. Please dont “forget” to eat, please take your medicine even if the thought of it makes you want to puke and send everything to shit, please tell someone you arent okay, please let them help you, its okay to ask for help, dont over think it. And if you feel lonely and like no one could help you, trust me, sometimes you will unconsciously help yourself. You can help yourself. Ill say it as many times i can. You can help yourself. You can put yourself to sleep before you put that razor on your skin. Please i wont tell you any shit. I wont tell you it gets better. Because fuck that. But i will tell you allow yourself to help your own being sometimes. Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to accept that you are a maniac but it does not define you even in times you are. Things dont get better someone once told me, they just get less worse, but at least thats better than where you just where. So take it slow. Recovery its hard, recovery is a motherfucker. You will have days you will feel like sunshine and days youll feel like dirt, youll hate those pills and see that without them you are a wreck, and somedays you will test them, but you’ll find yourself taking them because bearing another breakdown is too much. It will feel like a rollercoaster with no horizon but eventually all things come to an end. I just wish that that end is a bearable one for you and not a devastating one fir your loved ones. Lets keep surviving, shall we? All the love

A long ass letter that was supposed to be prose or a story but it became an angsty smth. Im tired, today was a rough day. All the love to everyone, always ❤️ - W.W

#bpd #bpd problems #actually bpd #mental illness #mental disorder #mental awareness #stop romanticizing mental illness #stop romanticising #depressive #suicde #awareness

[kxlebcross]

for the quarantine asks, multiples of 2, please :)

are you fucking serious???? i’m gonna get back at you for this, i’m smol and ready to fight!!!! (under the cut >:3)

2. Grilled cheese or PB&J? grilled cheese, always... idk, maybe i’m too european for that but pb&j just seems gross to me (noah fence to anyone who likes it tho)

4.  Your go-to bar order, if you drink? usually it’s a mojito, a gintonic or a vodka-tonic, depending on the place and its’ prices... and if i’m not that low on money sometimes an absinthe slips in, but that’s really rare, i’m not that young anymore and my body just can’t keep up with the alcohol anymore dfsdfd

6. Top three cuisines? uhhhh..... italian, hungarian and..... i don’t actually have a third hdgfhsd can i just generally say that ‘asian’? tbh i tried like 3-4 dishes from various asian countries which imo is way less than enough to choose a fave, and there’s also a lot more i’d like to try sometime... but my city doesn’t have many places to go to, and the only “chinese” restaurant we have is a cheap ripoff which never served a proper chinese dish in their life.... ordered from there twice, beforehand researching each dish i ordered and let me tell u.... they weren’t even close to what they were supposed to be......

8.  What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had?  i once worked at a strip club..... no, not as a stripper, i was a waiter/bartender, and honestly i wouldn’t even mind talking about it if the place wasn’t shady as fuck.... one of the national tv stations even made a full time documentary series about all the illegal shit that’s going down there..... but i never really did any unconventional jobs so there’s nothing fancy, but if i were to tell stories about what i’ve encountered during my ordinary jobs...... oh boi.......

10.  Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a signed photo with Flowsik from his Warsaw concert.... and i think that’s the only thing like that, if i ever had anything else it’s long forgotten and probably is laying in some box in my mom’s basement lmao

12. What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i only have bagels in the kfc breakfast offer so it’s usually some chicken, salad, cheese, egg and mayonnaise? i think? or was that the ciabatta? fuck me if i remember...... but if i could choose anything i’d probably go with smth similar, some chicken strips, veggies, bacon, cheese and moyinnaise? yeah, probably, im a man of simple tastes dsfdfg

14.  Favorite mug you own i wish i wasn’t so lazy and just take a picture of it, but i’m a lazy fuck so here i go explaining XD so its actually a middle-sized coffee mug, it’s pastel greyish-pink with two cats on it, and one of the cats is chilling on a guitar.... it was a bday present from my mums friend and it came in a cat head-like box which i kept.... it’s now on the top shelf in it’s all grotesque cat box glory..... like the ceiling cat meme

16.  Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!)  uhhhh tbh my mood is usually a blank space, apathy be fun like that... so ill just list some that i’m generally vibin’ with

Take a knife in the back, wanna feel my pain Make a slice to the wrist to reveal those veins I could see your face, man I feel insane

Such a mess when I'm in your presence I've had enough, think you've been making me sick Gotta get you out of my system, yeah

MGK - In These Walls

I just can’t get enough of you, but that’s alright Feeling like going on a joyride with you through the night I keep accelerating on the road with you at my side

Lexie Liu - Like a Mercedes

And it's nights like this when I'm on my own And I realize that you'll never feel like home No, I can't feel you now (Feel me now) And I try my best to stick around But when you're broken like me, you just gotta get out 

Bring Me The Horizon -  ±ªþ³§ feat. YONAKA (but i’m generally vibin’ with the whole album that this song is from)

18.  What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless?  okay so i’m probably not gonna rewatch it ever again, but... when i was a kid there was this german series on tv and it was called medicopter 117.... so in exam season i realized that as a kid i never got to finish it so i decided to rewatch... listen, it’s a 1997 series... but damn it was actually better than some of the crap ppl call tv show now....... not gonna rewatch tho, some moments and plotlines were frustrating as fuck

20.  Do you match your socks? yes! but only because i either have them all black (which will match anyway) or funky colorful fruit patterned ones that look a bit much even on their own so i wouldn’t really wanna mix’n’match those in fear they would just look tacky as fuck

22.  What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) well for a while i was the horse kid, then the cat kid, then the car kid and then i ended up being the resident class emo with a weird obsession over Lord of the Rings.... it was a wild ride, though the emo phase sort of stuck with me even now

24.  What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? the what? i stg i never encountered it in my life so i’m not really having an opinion on it, sorry to disappoint

26.  You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? definitely orange... apple has a weird aftertaste, tomato is gross, banana feels like having jizz in ur mouth.... yeah, we’re sticking with orange (also please don’t ask me to elaborate on the jizz part)

28.  What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? i’m actually trying to get better with some overwatch heroes i never learned before... since the lockdown started i got a lot better with snipers and i1m actually pretty proud of it

30.  Where could someone find you in a museum? most likely in the souvenir shop trying to find the cheapest thing..... or chilling on some bench/chair after watching all the art pieces, i’m usually way too lazy to stand around and wanna get out pretty fast, but i think it has more to do with the fact that i don’t really like to hang out around people and museums tend to always have a few of those

32.  Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? stars and clouds.... but man i actually really miss stars........ that’s the only thing that’s shitty in living at the city that i can’t see the stars

34.  Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i think art.... i mean i have three movie posters, an overwatch one, a religious calendar from my mum, and then a pride flag and some tacky painting the landlady insisted on keeping on the wall.....

36.  Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... okay i’m gonna admit, i’m not really into superheroes so i’m not that well-informed about their sidekicks either.... can i just hang out with loki instead or smth?

38.  Favorite mid-2000s song oh no.... assuming it was around 2005.... i was like 7 at that time? what the fuck did  i listen to back then? uhhhhhhh i’m pretty sure that was a basshunter time back then? so i’m gonna go with Basshunter’s Now You’re Gone as i remember having it on my mp3 player dfjhjkdf

40.  Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? usually at my pc, even when i have guests over because i don’t trust anyone with the playlists...... and when i’m over at someone i usually choose a fotel or smth and lay down in it as if i’ve never used a fotel before or couldn’t sit like a normal human being.... and if there’s no fotel then i’m sitting on the armrest of the sofa because apparently i can’t sit like a normal human being sdshfghsdf

42.  A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving  it’s this one.... one day just popped up in my youtube recommended and i was like what the fuck??????? but i’m not gonna say what it is, see for yourself ;)

44.  Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? i..... try not to post at all??? but if i do it’s either no caption or “i randomly decided to post some pictures at 3am without thinking about a concept or caption so i’m just gonna wing it” kind of bullshit, no inbetween, i just can’t write meaningful shit under my pictures 

46.  What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? fries..... i’m a slut for fries, best food ever......... give me fries......... i think i actually might buy some later now that we’re talking about it

48.  Do you like Jello? once again i’m way too european to have an opinion, sorry.....

50.  How are you at climbing trees? when i was a kid i was doing pretty well..... now, around 15 yrs and a few fucked up joints later i’m not sure how would i do....... if this stewpid lockdown is over i might actually convince my friend to find some trees to climb and then we’ll see....... (and then i hopefully won’t accidentally k*ll myself because he will be there to catch me if i fall lmaoooo)

#answered #kush speaks #kuwentista #jk im not gonna attack u #im just being funny like that >:3

[strangeandromeda]

some rly random ed recovery tipsiezzz!!

uh yeahh, mainly towards thoughts, ”milder” cases - like me, i struggle with mild anorexia and mild asf bingeing, but mainly i have A LOT of anxieties and thoughts and weird behavior around food and exercise - aka whether you’ve lost/gained a lot of weight or not, your struggle is valid. in all cases.

uhh idk this ain’t universal just some shit that worked for me

- makeup is fun. find that point of joy of looking in the mirror - instead of using makeup to look ”better”, use it to find a new way of looking at urself in the mirror. some youtubers/ppl i like: evelina forsell, linda hallberg, itslikelymakeup, klaire de lys, sammiespeaks, sherliza moe, um yeah.

- another one for trying to love yourself and your own image - get some cute ass lingerie. honestly. i’m having great troubles seeing my own naked body in the mirror, but if i’m wearing a black lacy bralette? i don’t have time to hate my stomach or smth.

- no but basic self care, actually seeing your body as something that deserves time, is great. showers, moisturizers, painting ur nails, that shit.

- recognize your triggers. learn what your triggers are. not everyone is triggered by thinspo pictures. some of my biggest triggers are people complimenting my body and newspaper articles about healthy eating. learning your triggers can help you avoid them, sure, but remember that you will never be able to completly avoid all your triggers. u gotta learn to work around them. which is hard and idk how. also, understanding your triggers help you understanding where your illness came from.

- work on not caring about what people think. this will probably take years. but it’s needed. it surely is. and i mean not only in regards of how your body looks, but also other things. what films you like. what makeup you wear. what clothes you wear. what food you eat. i think fake it ’til you make it is a great place to begin here.

- friends are great n helpful, if u have close friends u care abt n u know they care abt u - talk to them. tell them how you feel. show your inside hurt through words, u don’t have to show it through your body. talking to my best friend, who also suffers from anorexia though, had helped me a lot. it has helped her too. but!!!!! don’t talk to friends if you’re not sure they will listen or understand or if they actually care!!!!! mistake i’ve made. it’s horrible.

- therapy is kinda good too, no but honestly if u have the money go to it. my therapist didn’t help me at all, but even that experience - that the state can’t fix everything - helped me too. i’ll try going to another one too, esp since it’s free where i live, and i know friends who has had great experiences.

- helping ppl is something that is kinda good - it helps you see the worth in yourslef and the changes u can make in the world. however!!!! if u are a ”giver”, like me, and you give yourself and all your energy in pieces to literally every one you get to know and like you want to help and heal everyone - you will get exhausted. u need people who give YOU energy too. people who are there for you in return, people that actually care for you. srsly.

- working out is not something u generally should do, however for me, as an over-exerciser it was impossible to just stop and well, baby steps is the way to go, so i do yoga. it’s also nice and calming. idk can also easily turn into an obsession but i couldn’t survive without it, honestly. keeps me somewhat sane, a healthier way to cope.

- baking us hella fun. also a great way to practice being close to The Scary Stuff, aka the food. it is a lot of fun.

- saying yes to shit. live a little. doing stuff will make u feel strong and powerful and the universe will send u people and stuff and you will have fun and live a life. trust me. it’s great. scary, awkward, tiring, weird, hard, but hella worth it.

- yt vids are fun to watch and help me calm down. find aesthetic cute channels with calming voices.

- sleep a little less. be wild. experience the world see the beauty. even if it’s just on the internet. have some fun.

- hang out w friends. they (if they good n worthy of being ur friend) will help u forget anxious thoughts, u will ahve some fun and feel supported.

- acknowledge dont ignore the thoughts. !!. ur thoughts about food and weight will always be there for you. you won’t always be strong enough to aggressively ignore them. ignoring them takes energy. learn to live with them. think the thoughts u have from start to finish, feel the little ting of anxiety in your stomach, and move on with your life. it’s just a thought. it’s there, yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s true or that you have to act as it tells you to. if it feels easier, tell someone that u are having a Thought.

- recognize others behaviour and help them!! so many people struggle with, if eating disorders, disordered eating - aka general undiagnosed anxiety around eating. u are a pro at ed’s, so recognize these behaviors, and if they are a close friend, talk to them qbout it - or just about how their life has been lately, if there is anything bothering them, talk about toxic beauty standards, etc etc. use your power of ed knowledge to stop it from spreading.

- recognize other compulsive issues in urself. behaviors might come back as other unhealthy coping mechanisms - try seeing if you’re starting to do something else that is harmful instead of controlling just your food intake.

- it will take years.

- fiction bitch fiction. escapism. podcasts, books, films. hide from the real world and it’s horrors, find strength and inspiration in the characters.

it’s gonna be great. i believe in u.

#ed recovery #anorexia recovery #eating disorder #disordered eating #op