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kay-rot · 3 years

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yangyang skater au

pairing: yangyang x reader

word count: 1.7k

genre: bullet fic, fluff

warnings: strong language but that's to be expected

summary: when yangyang thinks he's a good teacher

a/n: i've had this idea since his skating video came out it just took me wayyy to long to write

Yangyang teaching you how to skate????

More likely than you think

This man would beg you to let him teach you

“I want to show you a part of my childhood,” he says with that puppy dog face he knows you can’t resist

And so, with a heavy sigh, you pack your stuff from the air conditioned Wayv dorms and head to a near-by skate park

(You receive a “don’t die” from Hendrey and a small wave along with a stressed smile from Kun on your way out)

The walk to the park isn’t long, and Yangyang swinging your joined hands together from excitement calms your racing heart a bit

He’s talking about all these different techniques he knows with terminology that flies over your head

“Do you skate goofy or regular? Would you prefer a regular board or a longboard? Actually, I only use a longboard so that’s what you’re going to use”

Once you arrive at the park, you both kinda realize what your doing

“Wow, this is where I die,” you think

Whereas Yangyang’s thoughts differ, “Wow, I’m going to be a great teacher.”

Coincidentally, both of you are wrong

The park is empty (thank god for weekdays) save for a couple of kids who decided to skip school for the day

With them taking up the other side of the park, the sound of boards scrapping on ramps and pipes fills the air, you and Yangyang occupy the “beginner friendly” side

“Ok, so, like, we need to figure out which foot you’re going to use to hold your balance, and which foot you’re going to use to, like, kick off with,” Yangyang says slowly as he sets the board on the floor

“Okay,” you respond, “how do we figure that out?”

He grabs both of your hands, holding them securely, “you trust me right,” he asks, face serious

“Of course,” you respond, “I would not be letting you teach me how to skate if I didn’t”

“Okay good,” he drops your hands, “I need you to turn around then”

“Why do I need to turn around,” you respond quickly, skeptical already of what Yangyang has planed

“Hey! I just asked if you trusted me,” he whines, “c'mon, I wanna get you on the board at least by sundown”

You huff out, “ah fine whatever,” and turn with your back facing him

“Listen,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest, “I don't see what this has to do with me learning how to- WOAH”

You stumble forward, regaining your balance before turning around to look at Yangyang, shock evident on your face

“You,” you pause, “YOU PUSHED ME,” you shout, no doubt gaining the attention of the other skaters

“WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING PUSH ME WITH NO WARNING YOU ASSHOLE,” you continue to shout, marching your way towards him

Yangyang backs up with his hands in the air, “wait, wait, hold on,” he pleads, “if you can let me explain,” he says with a small smile on his face

“Ah yes,” you let out dramatically, “let the man who shoved me with no warning explain his actions, yes go,” you wave your arm out, “the floor is yours”

He lets out a small laugh, “god you’re even more dramatic than Ten,” he says, “ as I was trying to say before you started shouting at me, I was trying to figure out which way you would stand on the board,” he explains

“Again,” you reiterate, “why does shoving me help you figure that out”

“Because, the foot that you used to catch yourself is the one that will stay on the board to hold your balance,” he explains, “that foot holds most of your balance then”

You stay silent, analyzing his explanation, squinting your eyes at him you say, “you better be right about that or I’ll cuddle with Leon instead of you tonight,” you threaten

He lets out a dramatic gasp, putting his hand over his heart, “you wouldn’t dare”

You shrug your shoulders, “prove that you’re right than,” you challenge him, “what foot did I use to save myself with”

A blinding smile takes over his features, “your right foot,” he exclaims, pointing to it, “you ride goofy, exactly like me!”

Your head tilts to the side, a bemused look on your face, “and I assume that’s a good thing for you”

“That's amazing for me,” he exclaims, “makes it easier to teach you,” he shrugs, “now, time to put you on the board”

He bends down, making sure the board is facing the correct way, than stabilizing the board with his foot on top, “c’mon,” he says, reaching for you hand

You roll your eyes, “okay okay, let’s get this over with,” you say grabbing his hand, walking over until the board is the only thing between you

“Okay,” he says reassuringly, “I need you to know that I promise you will not fall while I’m holding you,” he emphasizes, “you won’t be able to learn if your afraid of the board”

“Yangyang I’m pretty sure I won’t be afraid of a long piece of wood on wheels,” you say confidently, “can I get on it now?”

He laughs, an amused look on his face, “yeah sure, okay hotshot hop on”

He holds his arms out, instructing you to hold onto his forearms in order to find your balance

With a deep breath, you place your right foot where Yangyang tells you to…

And you immediately feel the boards shift a little too much for your liking

With a small sound of distress, you buckle a little and tighten your grip on Yangyang’s arms, steading yourself on you left foot which is still on solid ground

“Not so confident now are we,” he teases, secretly placing his foot in front of the back wheels that he may or may not have forgotten to put there in the first place to properly secure the board

“Shut up okay,” you spit back, “unlike you, my face isn’t insured by a multi-million dollar company so I’d rather not break it”

He rolls his eyes, “my face is not insured,” he pauses, “at least I don’t think it is,” he furrows his eyebrows looking off to the side in thought

“Hey that's not the point right now,” you say, catching his attention, “I’m trying not to die here so could you please help me”

“Alright alright, quit complaining I got you,” he says quietly, “let's give it another try, just a little slower”

Taking another deep breath, you adjust your right foot, and quickly place your left foot behind it a little further down the board

With a death grip on Yangyang’s arms, you let out a shocked chuckle, surprised you have not managed to break and/or bruise anything yet

“See, you got it,” Yangyang praises, “how do you feel? good?,” you nod , “okay good,” he continues, “how about we try moving yeah?”

“Can we stay here for just a sec,” you say timidly

He nods, “yeah sure, no problem”

And so you do. You spend a couple of seconds, close to a minute or two on the board, getting used to the feeling of the board beneath your feet, softly swaying with every shift of your weight

“Don’t lock your knees okay,” he whispers, “you’ll fall if you do that, try bending them a bit, like you’re playing baseball,” he finishes, “yeah, just like that, perfect”

You squeeze his arms bit, letting him know that your ready to attempt moving

“Are you sure your ready,” Yangyang questions, “I don’t want you to be too nervous”

“I’m good,” you say, reassuring him, “let’s get a move on now, by the time we’re done I’ll be skating circles around you”

He lets out a loud laugh, one that builds up in the stomach and shakes the whole body

And unfortunately for you, he is was the only thing that is keeping you stable

The board shifts aggressively from under you, causing Yangyang to move his foot that is keeping the board in place so it doesn’t get completely run over

You barely register the board shooting forward when you panic and attempt to step off towards Yangyang

With a yelp, Yangyang stumbles backward, and with his grip tightening on your arms, he takes you down with him

You both fall onto the concrete below, Yangyang taking the brunt of the impact

Chest to chest, nose to nose, you lock eyes,,,,

And immediately burst into laughter

You rest your head on his shoulder, bodies both still shaking with small aftershock giggles

Yangyang puts his hand on the back of your head while you two are catching your breaths, trailing his hand down until its rubbing up and down your back

“Well,” Yangyang says still out of breath, “seems like you won’t be skating any laps around me anytime soon”

Smacking his chest, you lift yourself off of him, offering him a hand to help get him off the ground, “yeah sure, just you wait,” you say when he stands back up, “once I put in a little more practice, you’re gonna wish you never wanted to teach me”

With another chuckle, Yangyang grabs his board, “yeah yeah okay, I’ll believe it when I see it”

He turns to the sky, noticing the sun has gone down significantly since you’ve been at the park

“We should start heading back,” he says walking towards you, “I’ll finish showing you another time okay,” he finishes, holding his hand out to you

“I’ll hold you to that,” you say grabbing his outstretched hand

The two of you walk back to the Wayv dorms, with Yangyang swinging your joined arms back and forth, skipping away from the park, the sound of laughter circling around you

When you two arrive, you immediately crash on the couch in front of the air conditioner

Ten walks about of his room, “how was it,” he asks, but after seeing you laid out on the couch, he turns to Yangyang, “did you actually kill them”

“No,” Yangyang responds, “their just being dramatic-”

“Don’t listen to him Ten he almost killed me,” you cut him off

“You’re the one who fell on me,” he shouts back

“You’re the one who promised I wouldn’t fall,” you point out

“Okay okay,” Ten laughs, “c’mon we’re about to order food, let the rest of the guys pick their sides”

(Ten turns to you when Yangyang walks away, “I’m totally on your side by the way”)

And with that, your skating adventures with Yangyang begin

Not in the most perfect way, but as long as Yangyang is there to hold you, riding on the board doesn’t seem as intimidating

#liu yangyang #liu yangyang x reader #liu yangyang bulletpoint #liu yangyang fluff #liu yangyang fanfic #liu yangyang imagine #yangyang x reader #yangyang fic #yangyang x you #wayv x reader #wayv imagines #nct x reader #yangyang imagines #nct imagines #yangyang skater au

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ververa · 4 years

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Like Mothers, Like Daughter

A/N: You have no idea how nervous I am right now, but I said I’ll post the first part, so I’m keeping my word, even though I feel like it’s not good enough. It has been rewritten at least 10 times and this is only some kind of introduction. For now it’s just my precious little Ellie. There’s no Mildred and no Wilhemina yet. But they’ll appear soon, I promise. Just bear with me, please 🙏🏼 Many thanks to @awildgothappeared!!! Thank you so much for helping me with this series and thank you for convincing me to post this part!!! I’d probably never decide to do it if it hadn’t been for you Stevie <3 This story truly means a lot to me and all three of them - Ellie, Millie and Mina have a special place in my heart. They’re my new holy trinity. I put a lot of effort into this story - that’s why it’s taking me so long.

Anyways, I hope you will all enjoy it!!! And just in case, I am sorry if this is shit, cause I actually sort of feel like it is 🙈 Also if anyone has any thoughts/suggestions/opinions do let me know!

Words count: ~3k

Tag list: @midnight-lestrange, @natasha-danvers, @stopkillinglilyrabe, @welshdragonrawr, @saucy-sapphic, @yang12e, @xixxiixx, @pradababey

Seemingly nothing had changed. Life was going on as it used to before, its usual way. Some governess would wake Ellie up at 7am, it wouldn’t be the same one who was there the previous evening. No, because for some reason the former one wasn’t suitable for the position. None of them were, because it was truly impossible to measure up to Mrs Staple’s expectations. Ellie knew, because she had been trying to ever since she had learned to speak. It didn’t matter how many languages she mastered or how good her grades were or that she became a champion of the fencing team. The woman, she was supposed to call her mother, would never be satisfied, the same as she would never be happy with the work all those governesses did. Some of them were fired, because they truly were useless, others were just unlucky and had a horrible timing - it really was an unpleasant experience to get in a way of annoyed Mrs Staple‒

Ellie stopped getting attached to them a long time ago. Not that she actually had a chance to. In fact, she didn’t even bother to remember their names any more and decided to give them numbers instead. Though sometimes, she did wonder where they find all of them. How many well-qualified governesses could be there in town? Where did they all come from?

That morning, the governess was bearing a name “241”. Quite impressive. Ellie thought as she was brushing her teeth. But it wouldn't last for too long. Perhaps it was only until the evening or maybe afternoon - depending on Lillian’s mood. And then the poor woman would have to leave, quicker than she appeared, just like 240 other women before her. That's how it worked with her mother. The demonic, callous woman really knew no limits.

Ellie was barely twelve, yet she was well aware what motives drove her mother's behavior. Each action had a perfectly explainable reason. The desire for power, the need of being in control. Though, the truth was, Lillian wasn't in a place to be a decision making one. She had never actually had a say and she knew, for a fact, that she would never have. She wasn't even close to it. She wasn't Staple, not by blood. And yet, despite this, she always introduced herself using her husband's family name - being boastful and vain as ever, nearly driving her only child apoplectic each time.

Lillian wanted to matter so badly, even if just for a moment, but still her actions, words, commands meant less than nothing. Even Ellie, though still a child, had more power than the cruel woman. And that's why Lillian hated her. She hated her only daughter, because Ellie was born Staple, she was born to the purple and carried an incredible power within her small body–

And all that appeared to be a good enough reason to terrorize 240 babysitters, who would not be needed at all if Lillian could just bring herself to care about her only child in the first place. But she couldn't and she didn't. She never wanted to have children, definitely not a girl. Maybe a son. Maybe–

If Ellie was a boy… maybe she'd be able to care, to love her child. But even then it wouldn't be the unconditional type of love. It would be yet another transaction, the tying agreement, which would, of course, be in her interest. Just like her marriage and all the relations within the family. But Ellie wasn't a boy and she didn't matter as much as a male successor would and so Lillian didn't care. She did what was expected of her, she gave birth to the next successor, and that was it. All she was willing to do and there was no way she'd put any more effort into it. She gave her husband what he wanted and was the least bit interested in her child's future. Lillian was too selfish to care, too busy fighting for her own position to even think about Elizabeth.

Ellie's father always told her that everyone had a little bit of the light and dark in them. People were complex like a cosmic system, both inside and outside. She liked that comparison.

"None of us are just black or white, or always right and never wrong. We have a universe within ourselves. We all have a little bit of the sun and moon inside. Everyone has good and bad forces working with them, within them and against them"

She believed it, but as much as she tried - she couldn't find any kind of light within her mother. There was nothing, just coldness and hatred - guiding her through life, leaving her blind to everything, but her selfish needs and whims.

"Elizabeth," her teacher's voice would bring her back to reality. And the day would carry on, as usual.

Ellie would participate in her classes and then have lunch downstairs. She would eat alone, as her father would be still at work and Lillian wouldn’t even bother to join the girl, preferring her own company over watching her little defeater, a perfect copy of her husband. Or maybe if they were lucky enough, the governess would keep her company. Though even if she would, even if somehow lady “241” would manage to keep her position and call it a day - Ellie probably wouldn’t decide to talk to her anyways. Why would she, knowing that the woman would soon disappear from her life forever?

But Ellie didn’t mind being on her own at all. She already got used to it. She had been a homeschooler since… always. She had been under lock and key her whole life, because that was their way of keeping her safe. That’s what they told her at least and she accepted it. That was the only way of living Ellie knew and she completely settled into it. She didn't ask, she didn't question their motives. She let it be, because there was nothing she could do. She didn't want to do anything.

She liked her life, well, she thought so leastways. She had nothing to complain about. She was safe, warm, had her books and her piano. Her teacher, constantly-changing governesses and servants provided some kind of company - preventing her from loosening her grip on reality completely. Her life wasn’t all that bad. Yes. It could have been worse after all. And homeschooling wasn’t the end of the world, right? It had both positive and negative sides, as everything - just like her father said. And that’s what Ellie was focused on.

After lunch her lessons would continue. The teacher would ask about some mathematical equations and she would solve all of them, before unerringly answering all subsequent questions. Ellie was a clever child and a fast learner. She was also stubborn and aimed at mastering whatever she wanted to perfection. She had to be good enough, she had to measure up, prove herself. And she was doing her best, steadfastly.

Everyone was foretelling her a bright future. She could do anything she wanted, those who didn’t know certain things were convinced of it. And those who knew the truth, the reality, the true meaning hidden behind the Staple’s name and the family roots - remained silent. Ellie was only a child after all, besides no one wanted to have a problem with her father, or even worse - with her grandfather. But they didn’t need to talk about it. Ellie, as a highly intelligent girl that she undoubtedly was, knew. She knew her future was doomed, because she was a prisoner, just like her father and grandfather, even her mother and the rest of the family. They were all prisoners, shackled with invisible cuffs - the life-long deal their ancestors had made ages before. They were prisoners to the nonreversible decision.

It may seem quite dramatic, sad even to some people, but they didn’t understand it. They never cared enough to comprehend the deep meaning behind the family’s actions, perhaps too ignorant or narrow-minded to decipher it. But they didn’t matter. Their opinions were irrelevant.

Ellie never had a problem with that. She never truly allowed herself to think about the future, but she didn’t need to worry, not just yet. She had her father - her guardian and friend - who was there to keep her safe. He always knew how to make everything better. How to fix what appeared to be unfixable. And he was there at all times. He was there to hold his little girl, the apple of his eye. He was there to teach her and guide her. To grant Ellie the love and approval she couldn’t receive from Lillian. He was there, so that she could have a happy and peaceful childhood. And all that made Ellie feel lucky. Not all kids had what she did. Not all children were able to experience this kind of love. She knew. Elias told her about those children - left on their own, without anyone who would look after them, or love them the way he loved her. Whenever she remembered all those stories something inside her hurt. Her heart - it ached, every time Elias was telling her about that one little girl.

Ellie undeniably was compassionate and sensitive, her soul was still pure and free, untainted. She didn’t have to bear the burden of her decision, she didn’t have to carry it on her own like her father. That’s why she couldn’t understand his breaking down. She couldn’t figure out the reason for his tears, when she gave him one of her teddy bears, saying he should give it to the little girl. Ellie couldn’t know. Not back then.

And then, when her lessons were over, their butler - Leonard would take her to the fencing classes. That was the only time Ellie was out, freed from the thin walls of the castle they lived in. She always cherished every second of it, because every moment of freedom was like an incredible adventure.

She had been training for years, because fencing made her stronger and showed a certain set of thinking skills. The classes would go great, as always. Ellie as a wonderful fencer would win some clash, but she wouldn't even think about it, already engulfed by anticipation of the evening.

Ellie’s favourite part of the day was dinner. No, not the dinner itself - the whole process of it. The anticipation and preparations. Their servants would be preparing everything, putting a lot of effort into details, so as to avoid getting in trouble with Lillian. She was fabled for her choleric nature and no one wanted to be reprimanded. That's why they always did their best, striving to meet Lillian's expectations and avoid unhinging her.

The table had to be polished until it gleamed. Table covers had to be clean and smoothed. Dinnerware and cutlery had to be polished to a high gloss. And napkins… napkins had to have the right colors, because colors couldn't clash. After all those years Ellie learned the process by heart. She remembered everything, every little detail and the order of all those actions.

A plate in the middle. A napkin on the left, then forks - salad fork and dinner fork. The right side was where a dinner knife, dinner spoon and soup spoon were placed. And then glasses - a water glass and wine glass - on the right, above the spoons. It wasn't all that hard to remember. It definitely was far more complicated when it came to the formal dinner place setting, but when it was just the three of them - Ellie and her parents - the servants didn't have to worry about it. Informal setting was enough, unless Lillian decided differently.

By the time the table was set, Ellie would be fully in on her anticipation mood. After all it wasn't about the dinner or setting the table, it was about her father finally coming back home. Elizabeth would wait impatiently - pulled up to comfortably sit on the windowsill of the living room window. She did it every evening. Awaiting her father's car to turn into the driveway. Waiting for him to cross the doorstep and take her into his arms as he always did. She anticipated having dinner with him and then spending hours on talking and listening to his stories.

Ellie waited. One hour passed. Then another. Lillian gave up and ordered someone to bring her dinner upstairs, as she wasn't going to eat with Ellie even under those circumstances. They complied, Lillian got her dinner and finished it, while Ellie kept waiting, not moving from her spot even for a second, so as not to miss the moment of Elias' arrival. She waited, but he didn't come back. She fell asleep eventually and Leonard carefully carried her to her room. His heart was breaking for the girl, because he knew exactly what was happening. He already knew what Ellie didn't or maybe she did. She did, perhaps, but refused to accept it…

She kept waiting. For hours, days, a week. Whenever she heard some car, she would rush to the window, hoping it was Elias. Ellie found it hard to focus on anything else. She barely ate and sleep, she just passed out from exhaustion basically every evening. Each time Leonard would take her upstairs and tuck her in bed. Though in the morning she'd be back downstairs, most likely wearing one of her father's hats or shirts - almost three times too big for her- but it didn't matter. She didn't care. If she could, she'd most likely not only wear his clothes, but also spend every minute of the day in her spot on the windowsill.

Where did he go? Why didn't he come back? Every part of her aching heart couldn't accept it. She needed him… who would protect her now? Who would be there for her? Where did he think he's going and why couldn't he take her with him? He always did. They always did everything together. And then he was gone, just like that–

Honestly, she knew he wouldn't come back. She knew, but she didn't want to let go, not yet. She wasn't ready to do it.

And it was okay. Ellie could say it by the way their servants looked at her - so sympathetically. They hurt too. Perhaps not as much as she did, but they did in their own way. The only person who seemed to remain untouched was Lillian.

Even then, all she could think of was herself. She didn't display any kind of emotions. She wasn't sad or hurt and she didn't even try to pretend that she was.

"Will you finally pull yourself together?" Lillian growled, sipping on her drink, not even looking at Ellie "He won't come back. Ever."

Ellie frowned a little. There were a lot of things she could tell her mother, a lot of mean and hateful things. Though it didn't feel okay. It didn't feel like her, so she didn't. She held it all back, responding with simple "Why do you have to be like that?"

"Like what?" Lillian asked, looking at her manicured nails, acting the least bit interested in what her daughter actually had to say.

"Why can't you at least pretend that you care?"

"Don't be pathetic, Elizabeth."

Ellie sighed. There was no point in continuing the conversation. She wasn't pathetic. It wasn't pathetic. Feeling was a human thing, right?

A few days later a tall man dressed in black suit brought Elias' stuff from his clinic. They packed it all in a box. Over 20 years of his research, his work, his life - were enclosed in just one box. Leonard carried it to Elias' office and Ellie followed. She needed answers that no one wanted to give her, so she hoped she'd actually find something in the box. And she did. Her father left her a note–

Seemingly nothing had changed. Her body was still susceptible to pain, still breakable. It had to eat and breathe air and sleep. It still shuddered, as it had shuddered before. She still had to learn and she did, as she had done before. Life was going on, its usual way. Nothing changed - and yet everything was different. People, manners, course of boundaries. And amid it all her soul traipsed elusively. It disappeared, then came back, drew nearer and moved away from reality. She hurt, she cried. Feeling like an alien - at times certain, at others uncertain of her own existence. Trapped in her own grief and pain.

Ellie had been raised in a box - her father's castle, a perfect world he created just for her. But life was more than that. Life was different and not at all perfect. In truth it seemed to be far more unfriendly and sinister than she may have expected. She found herself lost in the new reality. The reality without her father. The world she knew had been shattered, completely destroyed. And learning to live all over again wasn't all that easy, but she was strong. Elias taught her how to be strong and she knew she could face all the obstacles. She had to - for him.

She was born into this goddamn family and that was the only thing she couldn't change. Though all the rest, everything else depended on her. He hadn't taught her all the things she knew without a reason…

"In life there are only two permanent things - happiness and existential pain. Life likes to gratify and hurt. It's a venom that heals and a rose that pricks. At times it's pretty good, although sometimes it's quite bad. And future matters are unforeseeable…" Elias' note said.

And so despite the pain she still believed there was more good than bad in life. She just had to look hard enough - like her father said.

#ellie staple #dr ellie staple #wilhemina venable x mildred ratched #Mildred Ratched #wilhemina venable #sarah paulson imagine #sarah paulson fic #like mothers like daughter #part 1

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blucmoon · 3 years

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━ ☾ ⊹ ( bang chan, cis male , he/him ) say hello to HWA YOHAN / CHANCE HWA, the TWENTY FOUR YEAR OLD that seems to have a lot in his hands with HIS job as a STREAMER AND CONTENT CREATOR! beyond that, they seemed RELIABLE AND PASSIONATE upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of SELF-CONSCIOUS AND CAUTIOUS though. HE seems to live in a 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT in SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA. anything else to add? oh, yeah! he also USED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL GAMER PART OF SEOUL DYNASTY (OWL) UNTIL HE GOT KICKED OUT.

basic information

― full name: hwa yohan / chance hwa ― nicknames: yohwa ― age: twenty four ― date of birth: october 3rd, 1996 ― birthplace: cheonan, south korea. ―hometown: sydney, australia ― current location: seoul, south korea ― living arrangements: 2 bedroom apartment ― ethnicity: korean ― nationality: dual, korean (natural born) and australian (naturalized) ― gender: cis male ― pronouns: he / him ― orientation: demiromantic, heterosexual. ― religion: atheist ― occupation: streamer ― language(s) spoken: korean (fluent), english (fluent) ―accent: heavy australian accent

physical appearance

― faceclaim: bang chan / christopher bang of stray kids. ― hair: naturally brown, though he often dyes to a variety of colors, mostly black and blue. right now, it’s a purple color that’s already fading. ― eye colour: coffee brown ― height: 171cm ― weight: 56kg ― tattoos: none at the moment. ― piercings: lobe and upper lobe on both ears. anti-tragus, orbital and rook on the left one. double helix on the right one. ― clothing style: regularly techwear when he goes out and athleisure at home.

personality

― label: the cynical ― positive traits: attentive, dependable, reliable, passionate, brave, energetic, honest, humorous, clever, versatile, truthful, affectionate, sociable ― negative traits: self-conscious, cautious, opinionated, arrogant, detached, critical, tactless, stubborn, loud, quick-tempered, harsh, unfiltered, cynical, restless, ambitious, ― hobbies: baking, collecting enamel pins and funkos, jigsaw puzzles, skateboarding, reading, listening to music, curating playlists when he has time, learning origami. ― habits: obsessively organising, borrowing books and rarely ever returning them (he forgets who they belong to ok), really bad road rage, awful at keeping track of time, people watching, always wears a black ring on his left index finger, always hugs something when sleeping, gets easily impressed by things, quotes movies and shows in regular conversations, knuckle cracking, snacking between meals, eye rolling without noticing, squinting when concentrated, crossing his arms over his chest, running hands through his hair, slouching, rolling his shoulders. ― zodiac sign: sun libra, moon gemini, ascendant libra. ― mbti: infp-t “the mediator” ― enneagram: 8w7 “the nonconformist”. ― temperament: melancholic ― hogwarts house: ravenclaw ― moral alignment: chaotic neutral ― primary vice: greed ― primary virtue: diligence ― element: air

trivia:

― he’s played all kind of games and his twitch channel was created 9 years ago (whew) and it currently has over 5 million subscribers. currently, he streams mostly genshin impact, valorant, league of legends, overwatch, spider-man: miles morales, cyberpunk 2077 and the witcher iii. every now and then he makes charity streams. he also makes special lives with other gamers and figures where they play games like among us, minecraft, fortnite (though he absolutely hates it), party animals, fall guys and other party games.

― despite the rumours around him and his parents, he’s never talked about them to the media. it’s not like chance hides the information, after all it’s online, but he swerves questions about them and pretty much decides to not say anything about them just to avoid controversy. his parents didn’t mind until last year the company they worked at offered him a sponsorship and yohan turned it down. it’s safe to say they were pretty hurt over this and they haven’t talked much recently.

― yohan is, in his words, the biggest fan of spiderman (not really) but he’s his favorite heroe of all times and he collects everything and anything that has him in it. his biggest collection is funko pops with over 30+ figurines. he collects funkos of various other interests of him as well as enamel pins.

― lowkey a weeb. he likes watching anime in his spare time and if he likes it too much, he’d buy the manga and read it as well. his latest obsessions are kimetsu no yaiba, boku no hero academia, haikyu and jujutsu kaisen.

― won’t ever admit this out loud, but almost every ghibli movie makes him cry his eyes out, even when he’s watched the same one over and over again. he prefers to watch these on his own. his favorite one is grave of the fireflies.

― it took him a while to get used to korean culture, a part of him is still trying to. luckily, his family would speak in korean in their household most of the time and this helped him not struggle as much when it came to the language. his streams are most of the time in english to cater to a bigger audience, but recently he’s got himself a small team of an editor and a translator that’s helped him add subtitles to the videos he uploads in youtube.

― his current setup is completely sponsored except for a few extra things he’s bought himself and he has minimal experience when it comes to builds, though he’s really interested in learning and has recently researched more about the whole topic, hoping to get his first custom build by the end of the year.

― has terrible road rage and this is the reason why he doesn’t own a car or a driving license, even being in the backseat makes him anxious and would much rather prefer to use the bus, a bike or his skateboard to commute between places. taxis and other rides are his last option, if he’s quite honest.

― as a neighbour, he’s polite and tries to be mindful just to avoid needless problems. the first thing he did was soundproof his office in order to not disrupt others, but sometimes this doesn’t work as well due to how loud he can be. chance will try to greet every neighbour he encounters either with a wave or a simple nod.

― loves dogs but doesn’t feel he’s responsible enough to take care of one yet, though he will certainly volunteer to pet-sit his friends’ dogs.

background:

born in cheonan, south korea to two very affectionate parents and an older sister, yohan was the name given to the first boy of the hwa’s; a small loving family who moved to australia two years after his birth.

the reason for this is that his mom was promoted to become the director of a renowned gaming company that was opening its new headquarters in sydney. his father is a software engineer specialised in videogames development who works under the same company.

his sister is a graphic designer and she, too, is currently working with them in the multimedia and design area. she’s almost 7 years older than him and ever since they were kids, she took a protective role over yohan.

it was easy for yohan to get really invested in videogames from a young age, after all, his parents would often bring home their newest releases as well as games from other various companies (his father liked to play a lot as well and he himself was a fan of many games, mostly the nintendo classics).

fast forward to his teenage years; he was actually good at school, not the best, but definitely did good enough to not worry his parents with his grades. sports always piqued his interest. he was part of the basketball team and would use his skateboard often to get to school (which would earn him earfuls from the teachers saying how dangerous it was.) other than that, he was an active member in the gaming club (shocking, i know).

at 14 he got his first close up at what esports were like after participating in a tournament of counter strike, junior division. his team (which was made up by members from the gaming club) won and he got to watch matches from other divisions, only growing more and more fascinated about the whole thing. the idea of becoming a professional gamer didn’t seem so far fetched then.

around late 2011, the same year twitch started as what it is, yohan found the platform and immediately grew curious about it. it was fascinating to watch other people play, thus it didn’t take him long to start his own channel under the username “chance” right after he turned 15. it took him a while to find his own pace there, not quite sure of what to say or how to act. eventually, he saw that the less reserved and cautious he was, the more people watched and liked his stream, so from then on, he stopped worrying about what ifs and what people would think about him.

this is a double edged sword: as his popularity grows, he becomes more and more brutally honest and less mindful of the consequences his words and actions could have. whereas he quickly became one of the public’s favorites, he was also viewed as someone potentially problematic that could bring a bad reputation to the community, though this only seemed to be a prejudice from other gamers and public figures.

he doesn’t care, however, and chance was pretty dead set on keep doing his thing. he was also really active in tournaments, either small or big, and other teams would often reach out for him to fill in. he rarely ever turned down an opportunity and even though they didn’t always win, participating was more than enough for him to gain the favor of the audience.

when he was 18, a formal contract to be part of the chiefs esports club (a recently founded professional club with teams competing in counter-strike: global offensive and league of legends based in australia) was presented to him and of course he signed.

between his streams, which had become a tri-weekly kind of deal, and the “training” with his teammates the rest of the days, it was clear that yohan wasn’t in the slightest interested to pursue a higher education, and honestly his parents didn’t complain about it as he was already doing well on his own. nonetheless, his sister was concerned and pushed him to at least take a couple of online classes (which he did, but mostly to learn how to edit videos and understand audio aspects to improve the quality of his streams.)

around this time, nasty rumours about his parents buying his way into the club were spread which earned him the dislike of some of his teammates. it was the first time yohan ever encountered a situation like that but thanks to the management, he was able to move past that. the oceanic pro league was founded in 2015, a professional league of legends competition, and the chiefs esports club participated and won. this helped the rumours around him disperse for he proved his skills were what put him into the team. sadly, he left the club a year later.

for the next couple of years, he focused on his stream and growing his community. yohan was invited to different events, tournaments and other collaborations during this time and he was always excited for them. he even decided to create a youtube channel to upload highlights and vlogs.

then, the overwatch league was announced (chance quickly became addicted to this game and even reached top 500 in competitive) and he was contacted by the seoul team (seoul dynasty) to become part of their team for the inaugural season. like that, at 21, yohan packed his bags and moved to south korea.

between 2017 and 2019, he was part of the team as dps. he had to change his schedule yet again to stream only on the weekends and with some restrictions his contract established (like not talking about the team or the league live). some of his fans voiced their dislike for this new attitude of his, which yohan brushed with a roll of the eyes and a joke.

however, before the 2020 season started and the team was on break, chance was one day streaming and offhandedly said a comment about another player in the league which he had a match with. this caused a really big commotion online and several pro-gamers were rubbed the wrong way about his words (to this day, he still doesn’t know what was so wrong about calling out someone t-bagging him in a pro game) and his reputation was admittedly tarnished. the seoul dynasty’s management team decided that it was better to let him go.

that’s how last year, chance moved into his current apartment after looking online for a new place to live.

in the present, he streams 5 days a week a variety of games and his schedule varies, some days he goes live in the mornings and other days really late at night. he has a steady income from various sponsorships as well as the monetization of his youtube channel, which he updates twice a week.

#INFO.TXT #CHANCE.EXE #LOC.SEOUL

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1195

survey by n0b0dysp3rf3ct

—:: Who ::—

... was the last person you saw face to face? I passed by my brother last night when I had to go to the kitchen to fill up my tumbler.

... was the last person you texted or messaged online? Angela; I was just asking her for the difference among A4/A5/A6 since I’m now planning to buy a binder and sleeves for my rapidly increasing collection of photocards and postcards. It really frustrates me that A4 is the biggest one and A6 the smallest :((((

... was the last person who asked you for a favour? Kata, my manager. She filed a half-day leave last Friday to get herself and her family vaccinated in her town, so she had sent me over a very long to-do list of deliverables that she asked me to fulfill while she was out. Eventually she ended up filing a whole-day leave since she felt feverish after being under the sun all day, and also possibly from side effects of the vaccine, so I ended up carrying the entire workload for the day. I like Kata and she’s a very easy person and superior to work with, so I honestly couldn’t complain about it.

... was the last person you lent something to? Ooh, I don’t remember. I don’t really lend people things.

... was the last person who told you a secret/confided in you? Andi was just sharing to me their worries about taking the LAE (scheduled for today) and how they’ll be okay if they don’t pass.

... is the tallest person you know? Jo is like 5′7″ and we all look like beans when standing next to her. One of my uncles is also very tall; around 5′10″ or 5′11″ if I’m not mistaken.

... the shortest person you know? I think Aya? That’s just a smart guess, though; I haven’t seen most of my friends in more than a year.

... your oldest (in years) friend? Mik is turning 28 this year. Sometimes I forget just how much older he is than me since we vibe really well together during the rare times we did get to hang out. I’m still bummed we never got that smoke break we wanted to have.

... is the oldest (in length of time) friend? Angela.

... is your youngest friend? Hannah was born in 2000. Peter was born in 2001 but we aren’t that close yet.

... is your newest friend? I haven’t made any new friends recently. Stan Twitter is lonelier than I thought it would be; everyone is already friends with everyone so it’s hard to break that space. Not to mention everyone is also grossly younger than I am – I keep seeing profiles with ‘2004′ on their bio :/ I should start making an effort to look for older ARMYs lol, I definitely feel like I’d have more fun that way.

... is your closest relative? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, my Kuya.

... was your favourite teacher? My music teacher from high school. I neeeeeever liked music as a subject and it was never a priority of mine, but she always kept our classes something for me to look forward with her advice and the way she was always able to make lessons interesting.

... was your least favourite teacher? Those who made it clear they didn’t like me, even though I didn’t do anything to deserve such hostility.

... did you spend the most time with when growing up? My siblings and cousins since we all lived together at one point.

... knows you the best? My two best friends.

... always beats you in games or sports? Andi would probably be able to beat me in any game. They just let me win because they know I can be a sore loser.

... who is the most creative of the people you know? My family is pretty artistic and I have a lot of talented relatives - my sister and my cousin Maggie paint and draw; my mom can make any kind of craft she wants, with her hnds; and one of my grand-aunts regularly does paintings. I think all of them are amazingly creative in their own way.

... is the funniest person you know? Probably Andi. Hans makes me crack up too.

... is the most organised that you know? My mom.

... that you know has travelled the most? My dad. Both our fridge doors are filled from top to bottom with magnets from places he’s travelled in due to his line of work. He’s toned down quite a bit in the last few years and has taken to staying within Asia, but back then his traveling history was super expansive – Germany, Jamaica, Italy, Belize, Aruba, Italy, France, Monaco, Denmark, Norway, the UK, US, Estonia, Portugal, etc.

... has always been there for you? Angela never left my side.

... has given you the most personal gift? I can’t possibly pick, my friends are pretty good at giving me gifts...like Andi getting me a Petals For Armor CD and a Punk shirt that hasn’t been produced in a while, and Angela giving me a personalized Friends mug because she knows I like my coffee and she knows I like Friends.

... has an annoying laugh? I don’t think anyone I know has an annoying laugh.

... never forgets a birthday? That would be me.

... do you live with? My parents, my two siblings, and our two dogs.

...,do you have the most in common with? I’m not so sure about this one, actually. I share bits of my personality with a lot of people - like me and Jo liking BTS, me and Andi liking wrestling, Blanch and I having similar personalities, me and Laurice being super meticulous when it comes to our work, etc. - but I haven’t met anyone who’s virtually a duplicate of mine when it comes to my traits and interests.

...is the sportiest person you know? I’m also not sure. Most people I know are into watching a bunch of sports, but none of them actually play.

...was your last missed call? It was an unknown number that I kept ignoring because THEY WOULDN’T TEXT WHO THEY WERE. If you have enough load credits to call me multiple times, then surely you can text me and introduce yourself first, and maybe then I can pick up the phone.

...did you last open your door for? My sister knocked last Friday because someone wanted to talk to me via landline. It was weird since no one calls via the phone anymore, but I have a gut feeling it was that ^ same person who had been trying to call me through my phone but never texted me. Eventually I learned it was one of the bloggers I’m talking to for work who just wanted to ask a few questions about our ongoing engagement.

... has your heart? Kim Taehyung. Expect the same answer for this type of question moving forward.

... has your respect? I gotta hand it to Tina for consistently doing well in her studies and excelling in every subject while doing photo and video editing for two orgs, working on her thesis, and being a board member in our mutual org, all while living alone. She does so well I wish I can tell her to give herself the occasional break to avoid burnout.

...do you share a special song with? I don’t think I have that with anyone.

...do you miss right now? Literally allllllll my friends.

...last made you angry? It’s been a while since I’ve directed my anger towards another person. When I get pissed off these days it’s usually over a situation that goes awry or out of my control.

...did you last buy a gift for? So this was not technically meant to be a gift, but what happened was I accidentally secured two orders of the same poster set, which was a part of this new BTS photobook coming out later this month, from two different shops. One of the shops merely posted an ‘interest check’ for the poster set so I signed up for it thinking it was harmless, but when they got back to me they already attached an invoice :/ I ended up having to pay for it just so things won’t get complicated between myself and the shop anymore; and I told Angela she can just keep the extra set I bought and that she can consider it a gift.

...did you celebrate your last birthday with? My family and technically my workmates since I didn’t file a leave that day. I also had food delivered to their house so I guess that can count as my ‘celebration’ with them.

...have you gone to a concert with? I went with Angela for my first Paramore show.

...can make you laugh? Anyone can tbh. It’s not very hard to make me laugh.

...has taught you how to do something? Nina taught me how to embroider and do basic needle/thread skills back when I was still getting into the hobby.

...has lost something of yours? I am almost certain my ex never kept the handwritten letters I used to write her. She never seemed to remember or bring up the things I wrote.

...has broke your heart? Gabie but I’m over it.

...has stood you up? Hasn’t happened to me before.

:: What ::

Is your favourite colour? Pastel pink.

Can you do that most your friends can’t? Type fast, apparently.

Is your birthday? April 21.

Colour eyes do you have? Dark brown/black.

Form of transport do you take to work/school? I work from home. But under normal circumstances I would drive my car.

Music do you like to listen to in the car? I connect my Spotify to the car’s Bluetooth and listen to whatever artist or playlist I’m into at the moment. The music I put on could also depend on my current mood for the day.

Languages can you speak? Filipino and English. I’ve also been able to pick up looooots of Korean phrases and expressions because of the amount of content I watch. I’m nowhere near fluent, of course, but I’m increasingly able to pick up what people say based off a few Korean words I’ll hear in a sentence.

Was the last thing you drank? Continued from idk. I finished off my glass of water from dinner.

Was the last thing you ate? My mom made pasta.

Time did you wake up this morning? Depends on how late I slept the night before and how tired I was, but it usually ranges between 5:45–7:30 AM.

Colour are your bedroom walls? They’re white.

Drink do you usually order when eating out? I never order drinks unless I’m at La Creperie, in which case I always get their San Gines hot chocolate; for everywhere else that isn’t a bar, I just get water.

Food can you cook well? ...I can’t cook.

Animals have you had for a pet? Dogs, rabbit, lovebirds, goldfish, and technically a cat but she was mostly Nina’s.

Are your initials? RC.

Kind of activities do you like to do on the weekends? I’m still kind of stuck at home during the weekends :/ so I can’t do much, but I’m not complaining since I actually prefer staying in these days. Anyway, most recently I’ve taken to catching up on BTS content I’ve missed over the last 8 years, so I like watching shows they’ve done like Bon Voyage, Run BTS, etc.

Movie do you know line by line? Two for the Road, TITANIC, and probably most of White Chicks.

Band(s) have you seen in concert? Paramore, One Direction, a bunch of local bands.

Do you buy/get to treat yourself? It’s usually food - I like giving myself a feast every Friday night - but I’m putting that in the backseat for now as I’ve realigned my money to be spent on BTS merch. My big purchases are saved for the albums for now, but every now and then I’ll see a postcard or photocard I like and buy them. Once I complete the albums I’ll be moving on to the concert DVDs, then the special packages, then probably BT21 plushies. Needless to say I have a longggggg way to go haha.

Colours your phone cover? I have a clear case.

Part of the world would you love to visit? Another continent would be nice.

Question do you dislike being asked? Even though I know people mean well, I don’t like being asked “How are you?” but tbh it’s more of a me thing because I just never really know what to say.

Subject were you good at in school? History.

Careers do your parents have? They both work in the hospitality industry.

Brand of clothing do you buy most often? For clothes clothes I’m not really loyal to a particular brand; I buy from different brands and shops all the time. But for shoes, I like sticking to Nikes.

Chocolate bar is your favourite? Not a big fan of chocolate bars. I love Reese’s Cups, though.

TV show have you watched every series of? Friends, Perfect Strangers, Breaking Bad.

Radio station do you listen to the most? It’s a little hard to tell at this point considering I haven’t driven regularly in over a year. But back when I used to do it, I usually flipped among 93.1, 99.5, and 87.5.

Podcasts are you subscribed to? I’m not the biggest fan of podcasts. Find them a tad bit boring.

Is your favourite dessert? Macarons or cheesecake.

Can’t you do that most around you seem to? Ride a bike.

Are 5 qualities you value in a friend? Loyalty, thoughtfulness, honest, sensitive to my needs and those of others, and intelligent.

Are 5 qualities you value in a partner? ^ Pretty much the same thing.

Size pizza do you usually order? Family size usually.

Cuisine do you like to order or cook? I’ve been getting Japanese so many times recently. I rarely go outside sushi.

Colour(s) dominate your wardrobe? Black and white, and colors that were in at one point like mustard yellow and pastel pink.

Toothpaste brand do you use? Colgate.

Sounds can you hear right now? My insanely loud aircon.

Is the weather like today? Like hell. I believe we’re reaching a heat index of over 50ºC every day now, so...that’s fun. It gets absolutely difficult to work in the afternoon when the temperature is at its most brutal, and its times like this I wish I got to work in the office so that there’s aircon and I could at least work comfortably :/

Are your plans for tomorrow? Just work and have tons of meetings, the usual.

:: Where ::

Do you keep your phone when not using it? I keep my phone near me even when I’m not using it since I could always get an important notification.

Were you born? Manila.

Do you go to unwind? Most days it would be the rooftop, but under normal circumstances I like staying at a coffee shop somewhere to escape life and my responsibilities for a short while.

Is your best friend right now? I believe they’re both at home since they have no reason to be out anyway.

Can you go nearby to have a good time? Personally, I would just go to the Starbucks near our village lol. If I’m feeling a bit more adventurous I’d head to Katip, which is prrrretty close by but not quite.

Is the nearest restaurant? We have a McDonald’s literally right beside the village. Then besides that is a Shakey’s, and right across that is a Burger King, then the aforementioned neaby Starbucks. Just makes me realize how urbanized my town has gotten in the last few years.

Is the nearest beach? If I had to guess, the nearest beaches would be in Batangas which is 2-3 hours away, but it really depends on how fast you can drive lol. I’m not too good with long car rides so in both times I’ve driven there I had always taken 4 hours.

Did you meet your closest friend? I met Angela in grade school, and I met Andi at a local rally in my university.

Did you go for your last vacation? Tagaytay, though it was a staycation more than anything else.

Is the nearest mall or superstore? It’s like a 3-minute drive away from the village.

Did you last get an injury? I have loadsssssss of new scratches and gashes all around my wrists from playing with Cooper.

Is the most extravagant place you’ve stayed at? It’s a toss-up between Aids’ or Gian’s house. Gian would probably win since I never actually got to go inside Aids’ place, and his was the first house I’ve been to that was able to literally take my breath away. OH and Shaun’s house was pretty fucking swanky as well.

Do most the local kids play? I would have no idea since I’m neither a kid nor a parent.

Have you been with your family? This is a very vague question lol...what do you mean where have we been? We’ve been to different towns around the country and several countries together, if that’s what you’ve been asking.

Did you spend Christmas last year? We visited a couple of relatives, and we also spent it at home.

Did your parents grow up? My mom grew up within Metro Manila; my dad in a city a little outside of it.

Did you buy the shoes you’re wearing? I’m barefoot at the moment and always am at home.

Would you like to go right now if you could? If life had still been normal I would probably be having after-work drinks at a bar near the office.

Do you miss the most from your childhood? I’m not sure how to answer this with where.

Is the best restaurant you know? I’m still searching for it.

Will you never go again as it was so bad? It’s not that it was bad, but I’d probably never dine at 8Cuts again because their burgers are not worth the hype and are very overpriced for their size.

:: When ::

...was your last vacation? My family’s last legit vacation was in August 2019; but we did have a quick escape to Tagaytay in January of this year.

...did you graduate? I officially ‘graduated’ from college in August, if you could even call it that.

...did you decide what career you wanted? Somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd year of college. That was when I decided I hated journalism and preferred PR, but since PR is under journalism’s umbrella there was no need for me to shift courses.

...did you have your first kiss? Continued. Like WHEN when or how old was I when? In any case, it was in January 2015 and I ws 16.

...did you learn how to swim? Idk, pretty early on. My parents liked taking us to water parks when we were younger, so we had a lot of exposure. I’m not sure if there was ever a time where something just clicked and I learned how to swim; I believe it had just come naturally.

...did you have your first relationship? By the end of 2014.

...did you meet your best friend? I met both of them in school, but at different points.

...do you feel the most at peace? Probably when I’m able to stay at the rooftop all alone.

...do you usually fall asleep? I’ve readjusted my body clock now (I used to want to be in bed by 9 or 10 PM, lmao) and I stay up until anywhere between 12-2 AM on weekdays.

...do you usually wake up? Ranges between 6-7:30 AM.

...did you last watch a movie? September.

...did you last go to a party? Around Februaryish, 2020.

...did you last cry? I can’t really recall. The last moment I can remember was crying over Life Goes On sometime last month, when I heard it for the first time. I’m just not sure if that’s accurate or when exactly in April that happened.

...did you laugh really hard? I always have a good laugh at least once a day.

...did you buy something pricey last? Idk what you would count as pricey but I bought the new BTS photobook set when it dropped back in April. Cost me around ₱3750. I wasn’t able to buy from the first press (it sold out in like 7 minutes lol) which included an exclusive poster set, so I had to look for a local shop that was already offering the poster set separately, and ended up shelling out another ₱2200 for it...which means all in all I spent around ₱5950 for it or roughly $125.

...did you have an argument last? Earlier this evening but I don’t want to get into it as it made me cry from sadness and frustration for the first time in months.

...did you last have a sick day? May last year.

...did you last recieve a hug? I have no idea. February, I think? when I hung out with my friends.

...when is your best friend’s birthday? July 22 or September 15, depends on which best friend.

...did you learn how to drive? I started getting lessons when I was 17, but I didn’t start feeling comfortable with it until I turned 18.

...did you last receive a surprise? Around a couple of weeks ago when my dad came home with Jollibee for us.

:: How ::

Many pets do you have? Two.

Many houses have you lived in? Three that I can remember, but I know my parents moved around a bit when I was a newborn.

Often do you shower? Every morning before my shift. I hate feeling sweaty and icky when I report for work.

Well can you cook? I can’t at all.

Many close friends do you have? I have two people I count as my absolute best friends, but I have a handful of close friends as well.

Many Brothers or sisters do you have? One of each.

Often do you go swimming? I don’t swim much at all, really...I haven’t done it since 2019, so that should say enough. As relaxing as it is, I feel like the clean-up afterwards can be such a challenge lol. Like if you swim in a pool you have to rigorously wash the chlorine off of you; and if you swim in the sea you have to also be thorough about making sure you’ve removed all the sand from your body.

Many times have you texted today? I don’t think I texted today but I did spend my whole day on chat platforms.

Do you like your toast (colour, topping)? I don’t have super particular preferences; I just like mine on the burnt side.

Do you like your tea and/or coffee? My coffee has to be sweet for me to enjoy it. I can take black coffee/Americano; I’ll just wince a lot with every sip. No tea for me thanks.

Do you like to celebrate your birthdays? With a lot of food.

Are you feeling today? A little frustrated because of an argument incident this evening. But I’m shaking it off and just focusing on the release of Butter tomorrow. My first BTS comeback!!!

Serious are you about your career goals? Very.

Many rooms are in your house? In total, 9.

Many bedrooms in your house? 4.

Did you do in your school exams? I was never consistent. I slacked off a looooooot in grade school; couldn’t give less of a shit about my classes then. I got a bit more hardworking in high school, but I still was a bit lax and I allowed myself to not put a lot of effort in subjects I didn’t care a lot for and that I know I would never have to use in real life, like chemistry or accounting, so there were exams I really excelled in and others that I would fail. It was only in college I started taking my studies incredibly seriously and I believe that showed in the grades I eventually got.

Close do you live to your parents? They’re like, five steps away.

Close do you live to your siblings? My sister’s literally in the room next to mine.

Sensitive to criticism are you? I know it’s something that can never be avoided, so I’m always open to hearing them, especially if it’s meant to help me. It doesn’t mean I enjoy it as it is being given.

Motivated to make changes are you? Depends on my mood and mindset.

Creative are you (1-10): -0.5.

Hard working are you (1-10): Probably a 22 if I really put my head into a task.

Sporty are you (1-10): I dunno, maybe a 6? I do like playing table tennis, but I’m pretty meh at any other sport.

Musical are you (1-10): 0.

Do you prefer your eggs? Runny yolk; scrambled; or a really packed omelette.

Often do you go out to eat? Before the pandemic, I liked eating out 2-3 times a week.

Would your best friend describe you? Not sure, I never tried asking them this. I hope it’s all nice things, though.

Can someone cheer you up if you’re sad? Send me photos of V. Hahahaha

Often do you meet up with your friends? ...What do you think? D:

Important is religion to you? It is not a part of my life whatsoever.

Old were you when you first stayed overnight from home? 15 or 16, I can’t really remember.

Old were you when you got your first pet? I was maybe 6.

Tech savvy are you? I know enough to survive my own, but I obviously can’t hack into other computers or things like that.

Do you show you appreciate those you care for? Buying them food.

Often do you cut your hair? I only take a trip to the salon once a year.

Often do you paint your nails? Never.

Many countries have you visited? Six.

Boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Just one.

:: Why ::

... did you choose your username? Because it was straightforward.

... did you take this survey? I like surveys made in categories, and this seemed interesting and varied enough.

... did you choose the career you did? I found that I enjoyed it MILES more than journalism.

...did you last leave the house? I had to go to a local LBC for a work errand.

...did you last give up on something? She wasn’t worth the effort anymore. She hadn’t been for a while, but it took me forever to realize.

...did you search the last thing you searched? I wanted to sing along to the song but it was in Japanese, so I had to look up its lyrics.

...would you give up on someone completely? Oof, I guess you can refer to one of the previous questions. ^

:: If...::

You could live in any country which would you choose? Canada.

You could choose any animal as a pet which one? I’m perfectly content with dogs.

You could be famous for something what would you like? Being known for a funny tweet would probably be enough lol. I have no desire to be famous.

You are sad, how do you combat it? I don’t really get sad anymore these days, so I can’t super remember the go-to tactics I depend on...I guess I like listening to sad songs and allowing myself to wallow in the sadness, because I know I have to accept and process my feelings first before I can be able to calm down.

You can drive when did you learn? I learned shortly before I started college, when I was 18, because no one was going to be able to take me to university when the school year started.

You could have any job what would it be? Idk, I like the one I have now.

You could go anywhere for a vacation where would you go? Somewhere with a completely different feel and atmosphere, like Norway, Sweden, Finland...that part of Europe, basically.

You could eat anything right now what would it be? Samgak gimbap :/

You wrote a book what genre/topic would it be? It would be a book of essays or maybe a memoir.

You had a theme song what would it be? Idk I don’t really think about this.

You could meet any band/singer in person which one? Billie Eilish seems awesome and easy and fun to talk to.

You could act in any movie which would it be? No thanks.

You get married what venue would you like? Hotel.

If you have kids do you have names picked out? I have one name picked out for a girl but that’s it.

Could describe your dream home what would it be like? Brutalist and minimalist, with large windows, cove lights, and a lot of white space.

You could go back in time what would you change? Break up with Gab earlier.

Could use 3 words to describe your childhood which ones? Could’ve been better.

Could get the answer to any question which question would you choose? When I would die and how, just so I can have peace of mind.

You could have an endless supply of something what would it be? Money, because of course.

Meet anyone who no longer lives who’d you choose? My great-grandfather, mom’s side.

:: Can ::

... you ride a bike? No, never learned.

... you ski? I’ve never even seen snow, so no.

... you bake a cake? I can try but it will probably be very clumsily made as I don’t bake.

... you sing well? I wouldn’t say that. I like singing when I’m alone, but it doesn’t mean I’m any good.

... you do your own taxes? I’ve never tried haha so I guess not.

... you remain calm in a crisis? Depends on how serious it is.

... you do first aid? Let’s just say I wouldn’t volunteer if it comes down to it because I feel like I’d commit one fatal mistake that would make the situation graver.

... remember your best friend’s family members’ names? Both of their families, yes.

... you fire a gun? I’ve never tried so I doubt it.

... your parents drive? Yep.

...your best friend dance well? They’re not ‘dancers’ per se but sure, they can bust out a move or two.

...you make people laugh easily? Not everyone, but sure.

...stand up for yourself? That’s what I’m trying to learn these days.

...you do a martial art? No.

:: Would ::

You like to learn a new language? That’s always a welcome opportunity.

Save the life of a stray animal? Absolutely.

Know what to do if there was a hurricane? We have several ones come in the country every year so yeah, I can definitely say we’ve long been well-prepared for them.

Try a new cuisine? I do this as often as I can.

Risk your life for anyone? Yes.

You like to get back in touch with someone? No, I’m good now.

You drive in the middle of the night to get a stuck friend? Ina heartbeat.

You Know how to perform CPR? In relation to the first aid question, I wouldn’t volunteer myself in case I make a wrong move.

You likely win in a game of chess? I don’t even know how it works, so no.

You stop talking for a day for $100? Easily.

#survey #surveys

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sope-and-shine · 4 years

Text

Christmas Special: Day 23

-> Pairing: Dad!Yoongi x Reader -> Family!AU // Neighbors!AU -> Word Count: 5.4k -> Summary: With the holiday around the corner and a bad breakup stopping you in your holiday loving tracks, there’s only one medicine to help you...and she came in the form of your 4 year old neighbor with a gummy smile and a big heart. -> Warning(s): Mentions of toxic behavior (change yourself for no man, woman, or non-binary individuals) // mild language

A/N: ignore the time. I know. It’s fine. Everything is fine.

Whenever the topic of Christmas came up, you were always the friend hopping right in. By January 3rd you knew what presents everyone would get for the next year, what decorations you would use next year, what seasonal candles you’d string around your home. You were the type of Christmas Crazy that was ready to go for Christmas by the time October hit, but held in your urges just until Halloween passed and November began.

Your boyfriend was not that type of person. To be frank, he’s never been excited about anything, he didn’t even like Christmas all that much. He’s never been the type to get overly excited about Christmas, even when he was younger he didn’t care all that much. He’s not the type to go over the top for any holiday at all if it doesn’t involve getting shitfaced at a party. But you aren’t the type to get shitfaced at parties.

Perhaps that’s why you’ve found yourself in this situation.

“What do you mean, ‘You don’t think this is working out?’ I thought everything was okay?” You ask. The last thing you expected your boyfriend of 3 years to bring up on your date, was the topic of breaking up after everything you’ve been through. Every holiday, every birthday, every hardship, and every piece of good news.

This was the last thing you expected.

Daniel - said boyfriend - sighs, “Baby...You and I just aren’t working out anymore.”

“Why? Why aren’t we working out?” You ask, still confused as to what had suddenly changed in your relationship. Just last week you had been talking about marriage and moving in together, even a family!

He hesitates with his answer, looking very unsure of how to answer you question, as if he weren’t ready to tell you why.

“We’re just...too different.” He finally gets out, much to your displeasure. You’re even shocked with his statement. As you recall, your above-average love for the holiday season and hyperactive persona in general had been what attracted him in the first place.

“You said you liked that I was different. You said you liked everything about me!” You remind him. You watch him visibly stiffen and close his eyes. It wasn’t just that, there was something else that was bothering him, and he wouldn’t say it.

“Well, I take it back!” He yells, startling you and a few of the tables around your own. He quickly composes himself and offers you a smile before he drops it again. That’s when he finally admits it.“I just...I’m not happy anymore. I can’t take...you anymore”

His confession is a hard pill to swallow, especially in such a public space like this. Not just any space, but your favorite space to go when you’re working - looks like you’ll be in search of a new one now. You truthfully never expected this from him, never in a million years would you have thought he would end things this way, especially because of you. But you’re a big girl, and you can do this without being petty like most people.

“Okay.” You sigh, not happy about the decision he made, but you have no ground to hold him there.

“Okay?” You can tell he’s confused by your unusual lack of emotion. You wore your heart on your sleeve, and this blank expression you were returning made him confused. But he didn’t have the right to complain about your lack of reaction to his harsh breakup.

You shrug, “You’re not happy...you should know me well enough to know that I’m not the type of person to force you into anything you really don’t want to…”

“I know…” He sighs. Part of him knew what he was doing may be a mistake he’d regret later, but at this moment it just felt right for him. He takes your hands in his, surprised when you flinch at his touch. His eyes search yours for anything, but you refuse to meet his eyes at full face value, “I’m really sorry this couldn’t work out between us (Y/n).”

“It’s okay.” You assure him, flashing him your bright smile. Even so, he can still see the pain in your eyes from the bad news. You both decide to cut your meeting short, sharing one last hug before you part your separate ways - Him to his apartment downtown, and you to your house uptown. The journey you normally spent thinking about the next time you would see you handsome boyfriend, became the longest bus ride you’d ever taken trying not to cry over what just occurred in your favorite tea shop. But once you did get to the familiar bus stop, and you began to walk through the quiet neighborhood that you knew so well, you couldn’t help but let the tears fall. One after the other, they kept falling and falling until you could barely see where you were going, only relying on muscle memory to keep you going in the direction of your home.

Who knew the end of a 3 year relationship could put you in shambles like this? Who knew that one person leaving your life could feel this terrible, like your heart was being ripped right out of your chest and taken away forever. It wasn’t like you’d never been broken up with before - you had 3 boyfriends before this one - so why did this one have to matter so much to you? Why did this one have you stopped in front of your mailbox to use it as a support in the middle of your very open neighborhood?

“Miss (Y/n)!” A familiar little voice of your 5 year old neighbor calls from your left.

You’re quick to stand up from your hunched position and wipe your tears, plastering the biggest smile you can muster for the little girl you knew was most likely running in your direction from her porch. Your guess is right of course, her little, black pigtails - with a green stripe on each side - that have been stuffed under her sparkly red beanie bounce with her as she runs to you through her yard. Her smile is bright and gummy just like her father - though her personality is a bit more lively than his - and you can tell she’s been waiting for you to get home just like every other day.

“Hannie~” You cheer, bending down to catch the little girl and pull her into your arms. She throws her arms around you in the same teddy bear hug she gives you everytime she sees you, and you can feel some of the sadness that you had been feeling since the tea shop fade away with the power of this one hug. She never failed to put a smile on your face, and you couldn’t be more thankful for her living next to you and loving to visit you more than you are now.

“How’s my little Astronaut?” You ask, remembering her newest fixation for the week. Last week she’d wanted to be a Tooth Fairy, but she gave up when she realized she didn’t have money to give people. The week before that, she’d wanted to be a teacher, but Namjoon started trying to teach her how he did and she fell asleep. She didn’t want anyone falling asleep on her. So, it was no surprise to you when she pouted and shook her head, “I don’t want to be Astronaut anymore, Miss (Y/n). Daddy said I have to go to space without him, and I can’t do that. So, I’m going to be a Doctor and take care of Daddy when he gets older and lonelier!”

You laugh at her declaration, “Have you been going to Jeonggukkie’s house after daycare again?”

“Unfortunately, she has.” Another familiar voice chimes in. You look up to find Yoongi standing on the sidewalk in front of you with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. His mint green hair that matches the stripes of his daughters pigtails are tucked under a less sparkly red beanie, a matching red scarf covering the bottom half of his face. He looks like he just got back from work, and stopping by your home to wait for you was a bump in his plans to relax after a long day.

But hey, you could relate to a bump in the road of an already long day.

“Long day at work?” You ask, glad that the setting sun was here to mask the redness of your eyes and the smudged makeup that still lingers with it.

He shrugs, “It can only be so long when your clients all want flowers or hearts tattooed on their hips or their wrists. I’m guessing yours was a little longer?”

Maybe it wasn’t as dark as you thought. You divert your eyes from your neighbor and wipe under your eyes just a bit more than you had when Haneul ran over to see you, “You could say that.”

“Did you have a bad day, Miss (Y/n)? Daddy has bad days sometimes, but he says my hugs make him feel better!” Her little arms wrap around your neck again, her pillowy cheek pressing against your own as she squeezes whatever she can out of you. She was so innocent compared to you, and her child-like sense of how to fix your broken heart made you want to burst into tears again. “Do feel better? Is my hug working? Should I hug harder?!”

You sigh, pulling her just a little tighter against you for comfort, “Don’t you worry about me, Hannie. Your hug makes me feel a trillion times better!”

“That much better?!” She asks, her eyes wide in surprise when she pulls away.

“That much!” You assure her, a bittersweet smile on your face. You felt better, but you still felt like you’d been run over by a car and then run over a second time for good measure. You set the little girl down on the ground and pat her off in the direction of her father. “You go ahead back to your house and I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? We’ll have the best playdate ever!”

“Okay!” She nods excitedly and runs back to her father, slipping her small hand into the one he pulled out of his pocket at her silent request. Seeing the two ready to go back to their own home, you head in the direction of your front door.

“(Y/n)!” Yoongi calls. You turn to see him still standing in your driveway with his daughter waiting patiently at his side. His face doesn’t show any emotion, but you can tell he’s conflicted about something. “Are you okay?”

You nod your head, unwilling to really discuss how you were feeling at the moment. You just wanted to get inside and go to sleep after the terrible day you’ve had. “I’m fine, Yoongi, just a really long day. I promise.”

He doesn’t look like he believes you, but he nods and lets the subject go anyways. He nods, “Okay...I’ll drop off Haneul and Holly at 8:30 tomorrow then.”

“Can’t wait.” You smile and vid him goodnight, finally entering your home and allowing yourself to relax and reflect on your day. Only, there’s no little girl to comfort you now, just an empty house with no one to come and relieve your pain.

—-

As the weeks pass and the dry, cold fall weather turns into the icy air of winter, you still have yet to recover from the blow that had been dealt to you. You still did your regular, everyday activities: working on your book at home - or going to the office to have your chapters proofread by your editor - babysitting Haneul on days she wasn’t at daycare, watching Holly even when you didn’t have Hannie, binge watching TV, binge eating in front of the TV. You did everything you normally did except the one activity that never failed to bring a smile to your face.

Christmas decorating.

It was no surprise that with your extreme love and passion for the holiday that you would have a reputation for the best Christmas decorations on the block. Every year you seemed to outdo yourself, and every year your neighbors became even more thoroughly impressed by your charisma and endless ideas. But with your recently shattered heart, there was nothing that felt right to you anymore, nothing seemed as important to you anymore. Not even Christmas…

...especially if you were alone…

This didn’t go unnoticed however. Your editor - Park Jimin - was the first one that had talked to you about your lack of Holiday cheer(Remind you, your holiday cheer started the 1st of November.) So, when a week into November you don’t start blaring Christmas music from your earbuds for everyone to hear as you walk through his office, he gets a little worried that you may be feeling unwell.

“Are you sure everything is fine?” Jimin asks in the middle of his reading.

You look up from the corrections he had already suggested, pausing from reading through them to meet his concerned gaze. Over the past few you weeks you had been working on chilling out, not getting into the holiday as much as you used to. It was hard at first, but you felt that you were finally getting into the flow of not overdoing the holiday like Daniel said you did.

“Of course, everything is fine. Why wouldn’t it be?” You ask. You shrug and return to your reading, annoying Jimin to no end that you were just going to ignore his concerns for over your well-being.

“You’re...oddly quiet.” He phrases, taking careful steps to not be overbearing on the situation.

You look up again for just a moment with a raised brow, “Did you want me to be loud?”

“No! It’s just-” He sighs in frustration and shakes his head. He was going to get nowhere with you, and he knew it. Anytime you brushed him off like this, he knew there was no point in trying at all. But still, he’d give a go at it at least. “You’re not getting into the Christmas spirit like you usually do.”

You shrug, “It’s just a holiday, Jimin. I don’t have to be excited all the time.”

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with my favorite client?” He asks. One: He didn’t expect you to answer the question at all, he thought you would avoid it completely. Two: He definitely didn’t expect an answer like that!

“I’m only your favorite client because you get paid by the hour and I suck with grammar.” You comment, completely ignoring the problem at hand.

“Don’t you try and change the subject on me, Missy!” He scolds. He drops your second draft on his desk and reaches over the hard wood to rip his changes out of your hands. You glare at him, but he persists. “Tell me what’s going on.”

You sigh and sit back in your chair, ignoring his intense glare, “Look, I’m just going through something right now. I promise you I’m fine, I just need some time to get through this on my own.”

“You know I’m not a fan of leaving people to suffer on their own.” He reminds you. Jimin was the type of person that had to make sure his friends were taken care of and in good health. He never left an argument to fester, he never resorted to violence, and he’d never let you suffer in silence unless you left him completely in the dark - like you were trying to do right now.

You shrug, thinking on your feet to divert his attention - hopefully for good. “You didn’t have a problem when I called you at two in the morning to get cookies.”

“I was in Japan.” He defends.

“Still didn’t care.” You argue.

After Jimin’s failed attempt at getting you to talk about your problems, your brother Hosek was the next person to question your new attitude. Hoseok - just like you - has always been hyper and excited about the holiday season. Then again, you’re brother was excited by a lot of things very easily. So when he came back from the vacation he’d taken with his girlfriend and arranged a day for the two of you to catch up, he was genuinely shocked that you were not wearing anything remotely correlated to Christmas.

“What are you wearing?” He asks when you finally sit down with your drink.

You look down at your white sweater, jeans, black, wedge ankle boots, and your waist length brown coat. You shrug, “Um...clothes?”

“Where’s your Christmas scarf, or your sweater, or your socks, or that cute hat Lina got for you last Christmas?” He asks.

“One: You traded me the Christmas mugs she bought for you in exchange for that hat, so you tell me.” You remind him, very clearly remembering the fight he put up for you to give him the hand-knit hat his girlfriend had gifted you because he loved it so much despite her telling him she could just make him another one. You pull your drink to your lips and take a quick sip, “Second: Not everything I wear has to be Christmas related.”

“I’m sorry, did you hit your head?” He asks.

You shrug, “No, I just realized that I’m a little too old to be overbearing about a useless Holiday.”

“Uselss-What happened while I was away?!” Your brother is flabbergasted at this point. He left for two weeks to go on vacation, and now that he’s back you’re suddenly a different person? Christas has always been an important holiday in both of your lives, and seeing you just brush it off as another day was like watching a mother just abandon her child. “Christmas is our favorite holiday, (Y/n). We’ve loved Christmas since we were little kids! I literally talked to you about your Christmas plans with Daniel before I left on my vacation with Lina!”

“Yeah, well, I’m not feeling it this year.” You say, “Let’s just catch up, okay?”

“Did something happen between you and Daniel?” He asks suddenly. His questions catches you off guard and your facade breaks for a moment, just enough for him to realize he’s hit the nail on the head. “You broke up...didn’t you?”

“So what if we did?” You ask.

“(Y/n)...you can talk to me about this.” He sighs. He leans over the table and takes one hand in his, reminding you of how Daniel had broken it off with you.

You pull your hand away and glare at your brother, “No, I can’t. Nor do I have to.”

“(Y/n)-” “No!” You’ve had enough at this point. You came here to see your brother, not to be harassed and interrogated about your failed love life.“Hoseok, I don’t care what you have to say about this. I’m a grown woman and I can handle a small break up on my own without my big brother trying to protect me.”

“I just want to be there for you.” He defends. Hoseok is also annoyed, and you can tell by the look on his face. He’s usually just as bubbly as you are, but right now he’s too annoyed to let his bubbly self through.

“Yeah well, forget it.” You sigh and quickly grab your purse off the back of your chair. You stand with your drink and give your brother a weak wave goodbye. “I need to go,” You excuse yourself without even waiting for his response or looking back, and you ignore every call that he attempts.

You felt bad about leaving him in the middle of your lunch date - you still feel bad about leaving - but you didn’t want to be reminded of what had happened with your ex. You didn’t need anyone’s help in getting over him, because it was your fault anyways. He didn’t like you because you were different, and if that was the problem then you needed the time to change on your own. With everyone questioning the new you, how could you even afford to change for the better? However, it was not only the adults noticing your change in behavior.

Little Haneul was the first of the many individuals who noticed your sudden change, and she did ask you about it. But with her being a child barely even in school, you paid her questions no mind and easily brushed them off with the excuse that you were just growing up a little. That did not sit well for long with the little girl. She loved your spirit for Christmas, how bubbly and excitable you were, because she felt like you were just like her. Without a mother figure in her life, you held that place in her heart as what a mother should be. And now that you were changing, looking sad more often, and no Christmas decorations by the week before Christmas?! Unacceptable.

That’s where Yoongi comes in.

Haneul is a smart girl for her age. She knows she’s too small to do things on her own and understand why adults do things sometimes. Haneul didn’t know why her dad wood get grumpy at times, but she knew that he was a lot happier when she gave him hugs. She didn’t know why Namjoonie wouldn’t laugh at Mr. Jin’s jokes, but she knew that once Mr. Jin started to laugh at his joke, that everyone else would too. But she couldn’t understand why you weren’t happy anymore, or why you didn’t put up Christmas decorations like you always did.

“Hey Daddy?” Haneul asks, her legs swinging back and forth while she sits at the table across from him coloring. He lifts his head first, eyes still focused on the drawing in front of him for his client coming in right before his store closed for the holiday tomorrow before he gave his full attention to his daughter. “Yes, Hannie?”

“Why didn’t Miss (Y/n) decorate for Christmas yet?” She asks, peacefully continuing her coloring without a care in the world as if she didn’t just ask a very hard question to answer.

Yoongi tenses. He knew you were going through something, but it wasn’t any of his nor his daughter’s business to know what was going on in your life without your approval. He’s your friend, and digging into your personal business when he knew you didn’t want anyone to bother you was a line he would not cross. Not even for the beautiful girl in front of him.

Yoongi returns to his sketch and shrugs, “I don’t know, Princess. Did you ask her?”

Haneul pouts, glaring at her paper and pausing in her coloring, “She said she was just growing up, but I don’t want her to grow up. She’s big enough already.”

“Well...even big girls want to change.” Yoongi says, struggling to find the right words to explain such a delicate situation.

“But Miss (Y/n) loved Christmas before Halloween, why did she stop?” The little girl asks.

Yoongi sighs, wondering the same thing himself, “I don’t know, Princess.”

“Can we make her stop?” Haneul’s eyes are full of hope, hope that Yoongi knows won’t be of any use.

Yoongi smiles and shakes his head. He places a hand over his daughters squeezes very gently, “This is something that she has to do on her own, baby. You can’t force anyone to do something that they don’t want to do.”

Haneul nods, letting the words her father spoke to her really sink in. It was pretty silly to make someone do something they didn’t want to, that was just plain mean! But still...it would be nice if she could do something for her. But then it hits her, something brilliant!

“Well...can we do something for her?” She asks, hoping her father will give her the chance.

“Like what?” He asks. He didn’t expect her to climb up onto the table, smushing her drawing and the crayons she was using just so she could whisper her plan into his ear. He knew his little girl was smart for her age, but he truly didn’t give her enough credit for how much she could really comprehend. He nods in agreement when she pulls away to get his approval, “Oh? Okay...you may just be the smartest little girl I know~”

“I know.” Haneul nods, a smug little smile on her face.

----

Another bus ride back from your meeting - or therapy session as it had become - with Jimin, another day of convincing yourself that you need to change for the better, another day of facing the reality that this change is the best decision for you. At least in your eyes it’s what’s best. At this point it didn’t even matter, you were exhausted and completely done with everything about this stupid holiday. Maybe Daniel wouldn’t think you were so different now…

You continue walking down the street lost in your thoughts, unaware of exactly where you are. You just keep on walking until you reach the end of the street, suddenly realizing that you’ve somehow walked right past your own home in your haze. Your quick to turn around to head back to your house, but your taken aback by what’s happened to it. Your once dull, undecorated home that you left this morning was now covered from grass to gutter in Christmas lights and lawn decorations. Your mailbox has a huge bow on top of it, garland draped around the post to the ground where ornaments attached to spikes decorate the bottom. Your lawn - once only covered in snow - now has Santa’s sleigh being pulled by reindeer parallel to your front porch in the middle of the yard, fake christmas presents of all different shapes, sizes, and colors are placed delicately around your lawn(by the sleigh and along the walkway leading up to your front porch also outlined in lights). Your front porch itself has lights wrapped around every post and hanging from your gutters, snowflakes littered in between the posts at different lengths, and a Christmas tree placed in the corner opposite of your door - which has been decorated with a simple wreath.

You’re speechless, especially when you see that the outside of your home isn’t the only place that’s been decorated. You can see christmas lights inside of your home as well as decorations that you had pulled out and never put back after your break up that changed everything for you. You could even see the undecorated tree just inside your living room with the small amount of light that was visible from where you stood in your driveway. There were only two people that had a key to your home: Yoongi and Hoseok, and your brother was definitely not in town nor capable of doing this without knowing your schedule beforehand. Nor did he have a little girl to peek through the window to watch your reaction to everything they had done.

“Hello?” You call after finally mustering up the courage to enter your home. You heard Haneul’s feet running before you saw her in the light you’d turned on, dressed up in a little green Christmas sweater that reads ‘All I want for X-mas is sleep.’ and a pair of red leggings.

“Miss (Y/n)! Do you like it? Do you like your surprise?” She asks, bouncing up and down in front of you.

You smile, unsure of how to really respond to the sudden act of kindness. You kneel to her height, “Of course I do! It’s beautiful.”

“Good, because we’ve been working on it since you left.” Yoongi chimes in, appearing from the doorway of your living room wearing his own Christmas sweater reading the same as Haneul’s but in red.

You stand from your crouched position and sigh, “You guys really didn’t have to do this for me.”

“I know, but Haneul insisted that we do.” He explains, arms crossed and unbothered by your conflict.

“You weren’t happy anymore, so I had to do what I know makes you smile.” Haneul explains.

You knew she noticed your change in attitude, but you didn’t think she would actually comprehend that you were struggling to accept your own changes. She was just a little girl, she didn’t even know Santa was just her dad after she fell asleep for the night. How did she know that you were so conflicted with yourself?

With all the emotions suddenly hitting you, you can’t help but let the first tear fall, quickly turning away with the false notion of a cough so Haneul wouldn’t think you were any sadder than she already knew about. But even if she didn't pick it up, Yoongi did.

“Princess, can you go to the kitchen and start on the cookies we made? Miss (Y/n) and I will be in in a minute.” He assures, easily convincing her to walk away from the two of you so she could hopefully sneak a few cookies for herself while the two of you talked. As soon as she was out of sight and earshot, Yoongi moves forward and spares no thought about pulling you into a hug, “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong now?”

“Daniel broke up with me a month ago.” You cry into his chest, your voice just above a broken whisper. You don’t know what about him made you feel safe to finally open up to someone, but feeling the warmth of someone holding and comforting you was almost exactly what you needed.

Yoongi sighs. He kinda figured something like that had happened - he hadn’t seen your boyfriend around in the month that you suddenly began to forget that Christmas existed - and it kinda pissed him off that you changed this much just because of one guy. “Is that why you suddenly don’t give a shit about Christmas?”

You nod, sniffling and fisting his sweater in your hands, “He said that I was too different for him...that he just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Yeah, well, he’s an asshole.” He says. Yoongi pulls you away to hold you by your shoulders, looking intently into your eyes, “Look, you are one of the nicest, smartest, and most influential people that I know. You are reliable and hardworking, you overwork yourself to the point of exhaustion sometimes, and for that I admire you. My daughter looks up to you like you’re God himself, and she likes you just the way you were before some asshole decided that he didn’t like you for you.”

“I spent 3 years with him because I thought he did like me for me, and then he just left.” You struggle to hold back your tears, still hurt by everything that happened and how painful the memories were to relive.

Yoongi pokes the inside of his cheek, “Then he’s an idiot to give up someone like you.” And he meant that. If Yoongi could find a woman like you, then he would snatch her up and never let her go. Someone like you would be the perfect mother figure for Haneul, someone like you would be the best person for them.

You would be the best person for them.

And thanks to Yoongi, it’s then that you realize how ridiculous you’d been. Trying to change yourself? Thinking that you were the problem with your relationship? You shouldn’t have let him get to you. Like Yoongi said, it was his loss and not yours. You had amazing friends like Yoongi to support you and care for you better than Daniel did in the 3 years you were together. You were honestly embarrassed to think about everything you’d done in the past month to yourself and others.

You sigh, “You’re right...but I’m the idiot that tried to change myself to please someone.”

“No, you’re just human.” Yoongi offers you a smile, and you can’t help but to return the warmth back to him. You both take that moment just to appreciate each other, not really noticing how intimate the moment is. But it doesn’t last long, as Yoongi remembers the purpose for his visit. He moves his hands from your shoulders and places one in your hand to pull you in the direction of your kitchen. “Now, let’s go decorate the cookies Hannie and I made for you, and then we’ll all decorate your tree together once we’re finished.”

“Can we listen to the Spotify Christmas Radio?” You ask, a teasing smile rising on your lips.

“We’re going to listen to every Christmas song until our ears bleed.” He promises.

And that’s how you spend the rest of your night, decorating cookies and your home, singing and dancing with a 4 year old and her handsome, grumpy father.

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edda-blattfe · 5 years

Text

Twisted Wonderland: Academic Headcanons pt.4

(Last of part of these headcanons, yay! Btw, I am up for taking requests if y’all have any.)

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

- Beauty is all that matters to this gentleman; shame the teachers can’t grade him on that. Vil’s grades are average, chemistry being the only exception, he is inexplicably talented in that particular discipline.

- Has mastered the art of multitasking, will study while also going through his morning routine; his textbooks may have a few smudges of eyeshadow or foundation along the pages. He’ll read through the chapter once, then go back and check on the terms. For chemistry, Vil will test the information himself in the lab. With Professor Crewel’s blessing, of course.

- All of his notes are written with the finest pen and in the most elegant cursive you will ever witness in the modern age; Vil claims it’s completely unintentional, but every compliment on his handwriting gives him an extra confidence boost (I can personally affirm that this does, in fact, happen, and it’s great). Each chapter has a heading to indicate the subject and terms are listed in a group dedicated to whatever that section of the book was discussing. His chemistry notebook has a periodic table drawn on the front cover and he keeps an ongoing list of formulas on the back.

- Is rather indifferent to study groups. There has to be a few conditions before he’ll accept; a) Leona can not be invited, b) gossip needs to be appreciated, c) he’s in charge of all experimentations, and d) Leona can not be anywhere near the location they’re meeting at. He’s not welcomed at the Heartlabyul study group due to his tendency to “constructively criticize” Riddle on his appearance and choice of decor.

- Prefers the show-and-tell method, assuming it’s chemistry you need help in. Vil will take position at the dry erase board, while you watch from the desks, answering your questions with flamboyant descriptions and a few visual aids. A firm believer in lab safety, he’ll insist you wear the appropriate attire. Expect to stay for the clean up. Over all, he’s a good tutor and knows how to simplify the lesson in a way you can understand.

Epel Felmier:

- Above average, but not so much that it catches attention. He’s a good student, but never calls attention to himself.

- Epel will usually read through the chapters a few times, and will make up little games to test his knowledge of the terms.

- His notes are short, to the point, and are written with a hard leaded pencil (the trail is light). There are small doodles of webs, plants, sometimes broken glass in the boxed off corners of his notebook paper. Occasionally he’ll write questions regarding philosophical arguments in the margins.

- He seems distant when socializing, which doesn’t give others the impression that he’d be fond of joining a study group. If anyone cared to ask, Epel would calmly accept the invitation. Most of the time would be spent merely observing the others while looking over terms.

- Like Ruggie, he wouldn’t enjoy tutoring you. Having him as a study budy might be a little uncomfortable at first, due to the lack of idle chatter. If you stick it out, though, you’ll come to appreciate the tranquil silence between you two.

Rook Hunt:

- Well, Rook is certainly not a boring student. He’ll often ask Professor Crewel if a substance is lethal; if anyone questions why he wants to know, he'll cheerfully reply with an unconvincing, "no reason." His grades are decent enough, and he always turns in his papers when they’re due, so it’s not like anyone can complain.

- Will flip through the chapter at the oddest of times, posing as if there’s a camera man hidden away somewhere. Sometimes he’ll take a page from Epel’s book and make some fun memory games....although, Rook’s games are rather-erm, unconventional.

- Refuses to use a notebook, instead he’ll write in the margins of his textbook or highlight the important parts. If he likes an underclassman, they might find one of his old textbooks conveniently left at the foot of their door.

- Also indifferent to the study group experience. If he’s required to study with someone, Rook would make an effort to get paired up with someone “beautiful”.

- Look, I’m gonna be honest. You should NEVER ask him for help, ok? Rooks idea of tutoring is putting an apple on your head and threatening to shoot an arrow at it if you get a problem wrong. He might be less severe if you’re a “beautiful” person, but really, is his knowledge worth the risk?

Diasomnia

Maleus Draconia:

- Valedictorian of his year, no doubt. Mal expects only the best from himself, and that’s exactly what he gets.

- Has a specific time and place in the Diasomnia common room, known as the “throne” to the members, where he’ll camp out with his textbooks, notebooks, and writing utensils. Everyone observers his study time, and will make themselves scarce before then. Maleus will typically page through the chapter, read it through, writes out everything he could recall from reading, then checks to make sure he got everything; afterwards he’ll look over his notes to solidify the information. Works every time.

- His notes look like a page out of a story book; everything is written in calligraphy, is evenly spaced along the lines, and the margins are adorned with elaborate decals. There’s a fountain pen that practically lives in his coat pocket just for taking notes.

- Most of his classmates are deterred by his intimidating aura, Other than Vil and the rest of the Diasomnia dorm, so he doesn’t get invited to study groups. Not that he minds, Mal is rather fond of his privacy.

- You actually had the courage to walk up and ask THE MALEUS for help? Kudos to you! He’ll recover from the initial surprise quickly and might actually agree as a reward of sorts. If you haven't visitedthe Diasomia dorm before, now is your chance. Mall will be lounging in his throne and insist you sit at the coffee table to remind you of your place give you something to write on, of course! He is a strict tutor and expects you to pay attention, refusing to explain anything more than once.

Lilia Vanrouge:

- Purposefully screws up his grades just to piss off the teachers. Everyone knows he could easily outdo Maleus, Lilia just doesn’t see the point in that. Besides, the look on Mozus’s face is worth it!

- No one has ever seen him study, not even Maleus. Some believe he doesn’t at all. He has yet to confirm this.

-Are those notes? No one can tell! Lilia writes everything in a language not found in any text in the library or on the internet. Maleus suspects it’s some ancient form of Sylvan, but even he is incapable of translating it.

- Lilia is well known for randomly popping into study groups without warning nor an invitation. He likes the look of utter shock on everyone’s face, along with their growing rage at his charming little insults. Before the volcano of unadulterated chaos bursts, he pops back out to only god knows where.

- The last thing you remember is the toothy grin on Lilia's face as you thanked that red eyed imp for agreeing to tutor you. Next thing you know, you’re smack dab in the middle of a mushroom ring at five a.m., cold sweat beading across your brow with no memory of the last thirty six hours. On the plus side, you know all of the answers to your next test! Worth it, right?

Silver:

- Silver is passing his classes, but that’s it. He’s not particularly driven to do well in school, his only goal is stay close to Mal until the right moment...whatever that means.

-Needs to study more often than he does. At the moment, Silv will only study when he can’t be by the side of the dorm master (So Mal’s mandatory study time is also his mandatory study time). He has terrible insomnia and will nod off while reading through the chapter.

- His notes are rather lacking. He’ll jot down some terms and their definitions but not much else. Some places have spot of drool from one of his unintentional naps.

- Refuses to join study groups after that one time Lilia drew on his face after he nodded off. Poor boy can never trust again.

- He’s not much of a talker, isn’t driven to study, and might nodd off in the middle of a conversation; there’s surely a better person to ask for help from?

Sebek Zigvolt:

- A straight laced student with the determination of a soldier, Sebek is determined to live up to Maleus’s example. He has a tendency to fall into a state of depression when he doesn’t do so well on his exams; Thankfully, he works hard to earn his good grades, so that isn’t common occurrence.

- He has a ruthless study regimen that soaks up a large chunk of his days. Sebek uses every study method under the sun to ensure his success.

- His notes are just as strict and obsessive as he is.

- Maleus-sama teach me your ways. Sebek is actually thrilled by the idea of joining a study group. Classmates working together to improve their academic careers is right up his alley! Too bad no one else appreciates his intensity.

- Don’t ask him to tutor you. Once you cross that line there is no turning back! Sebek will push you just as hard as he does himself, even after you fire him as your tutor! It’s kind of a sweet gesture when you think about it; he genuinely wants to help you succeed as a student.... Would be even sweeter if his methods didn’t push you to the brink of insanity; but what can you do, right?

#twisted wonderland #pomefiore #diasomnia #vil schoenheit #epel felmier #rook hunt #maleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #silver #sebek zigvolt #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland headcanons

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truckstop-sushi-blog · 4 years

Text

Bow-Ties and Pig Skins (Adam Driver x Reader Fic)

CONTENT WARNING: homophobia, bullying, sexual themes, dated slang, sexual scenes, vulgar language, dubcon

18+ CONTENT

You were daydreaming in physics today, again for the third time this week. It was 9:53 am and you were tired out of your mind, shivering despite the denim jacket your dad had gotten you the week before. It was like an ice box in that room.

As you rested your head on your fist, elbow connected to the textbook below, you thought of that devilishly attractive jock who had been giving you hell . You figured that since you were both adults in college, at least one or more of you would act with more maturity.

No.

Yesterday, he shoved you into your locker and shut the door. Today, he shoved you on your way to class making you spill your books everywhere. The thought pissed you off, but those eyes-- those damn hard brown eyes. They just made you stick to the floor and go mute. Everyone thought you were afraid and ridiculed you, but truth be told, that jock was the hottest goddamn hunk of muscle you had ever laid your bespectacled eyes upon. You thought you might want to continue the daydream, but--

“(Y/n)? Mister (y/n),” said the teacher up front, “Are you listening? I just called on you to answer a question. A question, might I add, that will be on your quiz at the end of the week.”

“O-Oh, sorry,” you said, startled out of your trance, “I-I um... I just... don’t feel terribly well. I’ll answer now. What was the question again, ma’am?”

The teacher sighed and asked the question again, following with a warning that another instance such as this one would result in points being taken away from the daily grade. Snickers rang out quietly in the room like the pitter patter of rain drops.You felt your cheeks redden but you decided to ignore your peers. You cleared your throat and answered the question, getting it right as you pretty much always do. You were a science major, so you were putting a lot of extra effort into studying for your science courses. Once the class was over, you filed out of the room behind a string of other people. As luck would have it, you didn’t have any more classes that day. They had been cancelled for the final football game of the season, and the professors happened to have sons on the team. You thought football was a rather frivolous sport and a waste of time, but your good friend William managed to convince you to go, at least to support the marching band. This was going to be a very big game for the band, as well. And, according to William, there was going to be an afterparty at the ΛΧΑ house when the game ended.

You were hesitant, but William convinced you to go to both the game and the afterparty, William having reported that Betty Adcock was going to be there and he needed a wingman. You didn’t put much stock in girls, mostly due to the fact you’ve never been attracted to them, but you decided to go anyway. The hope that the handsome jock would be there weighed heavily on your mind.

You went back to your dorm, hiding an embarrassment between your legs the whole way there, trying to avoid interacting with other people. Your roommate wasn’t anywhere to be found, and you assumed he must’ve been in class. You decided to take care of the problem you found yourself with, quickly though because you knew the assholes who lived here came in and out as they pleased, especially since the lock was broken on your door. After, you cleaned your mess, you got a new change of clothes on and you fell onto your bed asleep.

You were jolted awake by William tugging on your arm and shouting at you to wake up.

“(Y/n)! Wake up, (y/n)!” he repeats over and over again before seeing you’re awake, “Come on, the game starts in 2 hours, and I gotta be there in one!”

“The field is literally a ten minute walk from here, William.” you groaned, trying to stuff your face back into your pillow.

“Okay, and if you’re not early, you’re late.” he retorted.

You bit your lip, frustrated, and sigh. “Fine. But at least take me to get a burger or something.”

“You got it. I’ll just shove you into my car and we’ll pop on by the diner before we go to the field.”

“Sounds good. Will I need to pay you back?”

“Not at all, don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks.”

“Much obliged.”

You hopped up, slipping on your shoes and following your friend out of the dorm complex and into his cherry red Nomad. The musical stylings of Elvis poured into your ears like warm milk into a kitty dish from the radio. You hummed and tapped your fingers along to the beat. You were both at the diner in a flash. It wasn’t packed like it usually is on game day, which came as a surprise since it was such a hotspot in that rinky dink little college town you lived in. It was nice, though, since you were rather anxious about social situations. William parked and cut the engine off before getting out with you following suit. There were a few girls in the diner and a couple of greasers in the back smoking cigarettes. The smoke smelled a bit dubious, but you ignored it. It wasn’t the most frightening smell you’d ever had tickle your nose.

You and William sat down at the counter, William giving the lady who worked behind it a quick wink. She smiled politely, but I could tell as soon as she turned around she had rolled her eyes. You could tell by the way she sighed--you understood her pain to some extent. You elbowed William sharply.

“Ow! What the hell, man?!” he whispered under his breath through gritted teeth.

“You really shouldn’t be flirting with every girl you see. Just because they’re nice to you doesn’t mean they like you. She probably deals with creeps every day.”

“What’s it to you? I’m just trying to get good-”

“Yeah and not every girl you meet is target practice, asshole.”

William looked at you with lips pressed into a thin line before looking at the menu on the wall.

“Just fuckin’ order something.” he grumbled. You could tell he knew you were right but was too full of himself to admit it.

You perused the menu before settling on a cheeseburger, fries, and a strawberry malt. William chose a chicken fried steak, potatoes, and a bottle of coke. You gave your order to the woman working and she took it, giving it to the cook in the window. You both sat there in silence, barely looking at each other. William got his coke first, you got your malt shortly thereafter.

You both didn’t say a word to each other, even after you got your food and ate it. You both paid, left, and got into the car.

After a bit of tense silence, William spoke, apologising for his behaviour and admitting you were right he was being creepy. After that, it was like nothing had happened. You both started talking about anything and everything under the sun, but then while you were in the middle of complaining about the asshole jock who has been giving you problems, William interrupted you.

“You know... the way you talk about him,” he said, “It sounds an awful lot about how I would talk about a girl who used to annoy the hell out of me that I happened to have a major crush on.”

“Joan?”

“Yeah, her.”

“What’re you playing at?” you asked, feeling your stomach tighten in fear.

“I’m just saying,” he said, dropping his voice down to a whisper, “Are you a...you know..?”

“No, I don’t know.” You said, giving a nervous chuckle.

“A...A...” he said, trying to grasp the words, “A...you know, a- a homosexual.”

He whispered the last word in your direction tentatively even though it was just you and him in the car. He parked in front of the football field and killed the engine. You stared at him.

“I...I’m not--”

“Listen, I’m okay with it, you don’t have to act like I’m going to turn you in to the police or anything,” he said.

“Well I kind of have to be that way around everyone. Last time I checked, this is 1955 and being a homosexual is illegal.”

“Yeah, well black folks using the same restrooms as white folks is illegal, too, and that isn’t right either. Law isn’t the pillar of morality.”

“Just don’t let anyone outside of this car hear that.” you laughed.

You two both shared a laugh for a good minute before falling silent. William looked at you with a friendly smile.

“I hope that we both live long enough to see the day people can live together in peace without givin’ a shit about who loves who or who has what skin colour.” he remarked before putting his hand on the door handle and getting out, “Now, come on, I’ve got a few minutes before I have to be in the stands.”

You followed him out, paying the ticket master the fee for the game and then parting ways with your friend. You sat at the front of the bleachers, overlooking the freshly mown and painted grass. The cheerleaders from both teams were already on the grass and practicing their routines, and you could hear the other school’s band rehearsing. The football team was also on the grass, presumably going over plays and runs or whatever those silly meatheads talked about. Something to do with pig skins, you knew that much. As the sky turned from blue to an array of farewell hues, more people filed into the bleachers, talking loudly and making you very nervous. You wanted to escape into the restrooms, but you knew that wouldn’t be the most splendid idea given the last time you did that, you got a new hairstyle courtesy of a player’s hand and the flushing toilet.

Even as the game began and progressed, you found yourself sucked in even though you didn’t understand a single thing about football. Your chest swelled with pride every time your college’s team made a point, especially when that asshole was the one who made the touchdown. While catching a sneaky look at his ass, you noticed the name on the back of his jersey: “DRIVER.”

Driver. A fitting name for such an athletic guy. Even if he was the most attractive jerk you had ever met in your entire life. He gave you hell in high school, and he certainly didn’t cease in college.

After one particular touchdown, however, it appeared that he had seen you. His countenance wasn’t like that which you had been acquainted with several times before. It was actually friendly and loose, unlike his usual hard scowl he usually wore. It seemed like he looked straight into your soul, and you held your breath and blushed. Your face reddened deeper as he winked and blew a sly kiss your way.

No fucking way that just fucking happened. He must have had a girlfriend that sat directly behind you. Right? Right???

You didn’t dare to look, both frozen in your seat and by the crippling social anxiety. You stayed in this haze like this until halftime, making your way out of the field and back into your friend’s car. You said you’d come to support William in the band, but that gesture from that Driver fellow was too much for your little gay heart to handle.

You crawled into the backseat, laying across the cool leather seats, watching your breath come out in plumes in the freezing air. You hoped the game would end soon, and right in the middle of that thought, you fell asleep. It felt like you were awake in a snap because William had apparently found you there, shaking you awake like he had earlier that day.

“You okay, man?” he asked once he realised you were awake.

“Yeah, it’s just... something happened and I needed to come out here to think. I guess I fell asleep before I could really finish thinking.” you said, sitting up and rubbing your face, “Did we win?”

“Oh, not by a fucking longshot. But hey, that means better alcohol at the party.” he answered.

“I guess. But alcohol has never really been my thing.” you said.

“True. More for the rest of us.”

You agreed as you sat back in your seat and waited to be carted away to the frat party. As soon as you both arrived there, there were people all over the lawn, some sucking each others faces off, others sucking other things off, and music pouring out of every possible orifice that the house possessed. It was loud, it was proud, and it had a big crowd. Everything you hated, but dammit, if Driver was here, it would be worth the anxiety.

You and William made your way inside, you especially braving the sounds and smells of it all.

You almost instantly became too overwhelmed for your own good, immediately running to the first bathroom you could get into. Luckily, there wasn’t anyone in there before you, so you just shut the light off and hid in the tub, closing the curtain and hiding. You prayed nobody would follow you, but someone did, flicking the light on and locking the door.

Oh, shit.

The person’s heavy footsteps and sultry breathing gave their identity away immediately. It was the asshole jock. The outrageously attractive Driver. He began whistling to himself before stopping by the toilet, acting like he was going to use it before turning to the tub and furiously pushing the curtain to the side. He saw you, eyes wide in terror, cheeks red in arousal and embarrassment. You barely got two words out before his glare choked you and that grin--that fucking grin--made it impossible for you to function.

“So,” he said, picking you up by the back of your collar, leading you out of the tub and pressing your back against the bathroom door. It came naturally to you, following him, almost as naturally as you were already twitching in your pants for him, “Do you know what happens to geeks who hide away in the parking lot after becoming too flustered to function?”

“How do you--”

“And do you know what happens when they have the balls to show up to your frat party uninvited, only to hide away in the bathroom?” his voice was deep, his words were dark and cutting. It drove you mad with lust and fear.

“W-W-What happens?” you piped up tentatively, your breathing laboured and heavy.

He pressed up against you, making you let out a whiney moan. God, how you wished he would just bend you over the sink and fuck you into oblivion.

“Oh, so you’re a squealer? I like that.” he said, leaning to whisper into your ear, “I like that a lot. It drives me fucking insane.”

“I-I can do more.” you said, your lips parted in anticipation. You licked them and gulped nervously.

He pulled away from your ear, looking at your moist lips with a deep hunger and closing the gap between you two, kissing you with such ferocity, it would make even the devil gasp in disbelief. You whined against his fevered lips, silently begging for release. You could feel his own length cry out against his own pants.

After what felt like eternity, he pulled away, still making fervent eye contact with you.

“We both want it,” he said, “But do you want me to take it?”

“Take wha--” you stopped yourself before realising what it was he wanted to take from you, and then answered with: “Yes. God in heaven above, yes.”

He undid his own pants, freeing his own impressive erection first. You stared at it in its pale, lurid glory. The tip was quite a furious pink, one that begged quietly for pleasure. After that, he undid your pants, dropping them to the floor while your own erection stood in wait for its own release. Yours appeared to be less a passionate pink than his. He’d apparently been craving this longer than you have.

“W-Wait,” you said as he bent you over the sink’s edge, “What’s your name?”

He groaned, having rested his feverish dick on your ass, “Adam.”

“I-I’m (y/n).”

“Nice name. Nicer ass.”

“Th-Thanks--oh god!” you cried out and then bit your lip as he shoved himself into you without so much as a warning.

He pumped into you, slowly at first but picking up the pace at which he thrusted into you. Your mind clouded with pleasure, lust, passion, and everything that followed being fucked into oblivion by the hottest guy in probably all of existence. You hoped it would never end, but the knot in your stomach made you realise just how close you were to climaxing.

“Oh, I-I’m gonna...I’m gonna...” you whined.

“Not before I do.” Adam said, his voice husky, reaching around to clamp a thumb and a finger around the base of your throbbing dick. The pain that followed the denial was so excruciating, so enthralling--it was impossibly good.

“P-Please,” you begged, “Please, l-let me--”

“N-Not until after I do.” he insisted.

He started drilling into you, his hips clapping rhythmically against your ass. The pain and pleasure mixing together like hot honey and sugar made your brain cells explode like fire works. You started weeping, begging for climax, dick twitching in an effort to find some sort of relief.

It wasn’t long before you felt him empty his load into you. It was so hot and made you feel so full--some of it leaked out of your ass and onto the floor. He loosened his grip and wrapped his whole hand around your pleading member.

“Now you can. But only at my say-so.” he said.

You whined and moaned as he touched you, gliding his surprisingly smooth hands up and down your shaft. He was going slowly, teasing you.

“Please, please let me cum, Adam.” you begged, “Please.”

“Sorry, can’t hear you.” he said, “You’re going to have to talk a little louder.”

You could hear the grin in his voice. If you weren’t so weak right now, you’d want to smack the daylights out of him. But all you could do was beg. He had you right where he wanted you.

“Come on, (y/n),” he teased, “You can do so much better than that. I’ve heard you in the showers in the dorms before. Such an adorable little voice you have when you’re screaming my name when you think no one else is around.”

You blushed madly at the thought that he had heard you masturbating to the thought of him. It also turned you on a hell of a lot more, especially since he thought it was cute.

“I’m not hearing anything, (y/n).” he said, “Come on. I know you’ve got it in you.”

You gulped and let out a shaky breath. “P-Please let me c-cum, Adam.”

“Better,” he said, gaining a little speed, “But not loud enough. Try again.”

“Please, Adam! Please!” you said, borderline shouting.

He picked up the pace. You could feel yourself teetering right on the edge of pleasure.

“Please, for the love of god, please let me cum!” you begged, to which Adam picked up the pace one final time before finally allowing you to have your very messy release.

Your mind was hazy, and your dick was content with your climax. As your heart thrummed wildly in your chest, hammering away, Adam got you both cleaned up, cleaned up the bathroom, and then led you to the door. Before he unlocked it to turn you loose to the party, he grabbed you softly, but sternly by the neck and looked you in the eyes before whispering to you,

“You’re mine, (y/n).”

This statement made you quiver, even worse when he kissed you a final time.

“Now have a good time at the party. If anyone gives you trouble...I’ll give them a taste of hell.”

THANKS FOR READING! Hooboy that was *fans self* lord have mercy...

#dubcon #adamdriver #50sAU #lgbt #gay #50scollegeau #smut

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colormusicdying · 5 years

Text

Inspired to Know .45.

I've been using so many metaphors to describe what I feel like right now. It is probably time to lose all of that confusing language and just say in plain language what is happening.

Even though I had been preparing for years for the death of my wife Pam, of course when it actually happened, it was like having my entire world explode. The world exploded and burned to ashes and all of the ashes dumped on me, leaving me underneath, at first seeing and hearing absolutely nothing. People say to me, "you look good!". Ha. It's an act from another universe.

I had said our relationship would be locked in a vault, forever untouchable, but not an impediment to the future, and that is absolutely true. In a recent post I used the image of one trillion microstars, and other illustrations in another post called Togetherness, to describe how a loving relationship between two people doesn't change no matter how far apart they are. I thought when Pam died the connection between us, made of those trillion microstars, would evaporate into the universe, but I was wrong. Fortunately. I meant to represent that by saying that a few of those microstars were still hanging around, and that meant our relationship was not completely dissolved.

The very difficult times we went through together these last several years were represented by the fact that I realized the microstars had a Color, and that was Gold, and of course true Gold does not fear fire. Does not fear means: is so pure it does not break, does not change, with hardship. The Gold of that relationship went through burning fires from hell, but was not damaged. Was strengthened by adversity, made more pure.

I talked about our funny relationship as Popeye and Olive Oyl, and that Olive was grateful to me for getting her through so many tough situations. But I felt in the end Olive was going to save me because I knew we had had several conversations and the conversations were about how whichever of us is left, they must go on with life and make the best of it, have fun, find love, be happy again. Hold that thought.

So then I described how, still under the ashes with me, those microstars were swirling around helping me to hear the Song of tiny birds in the distance, and see a little light. The only light I could see was coming from the remnants of our relationship. Those were the only hints that there even could be life.

Here's the thing: so I'm supposed to go on, with Pam's blessing and a kiss, but HOW do I do that? Life seems so empty, buried in the ashes, why not just quit? I didn't see any way out of this. I often feel, and I would guess that others in grief also feel, why not just die?

The science and engineering background that I have has shown me some strange things. Everyone who has gone through this math knows there are proofs which say say a certain thing exists, but very often, the math does not tell you how to find it. A good example would be probably the most famous equation in the world, E = mc(squared). In words, that says if you take the mass of anything, represented by m, namely how much stuff there is in something, multiply m by by this huge number, C squared, the speed of light squared, you find out that mass is actually the same thing as a gargantuan amount of energy, represented by E. When you contemplate what that means, one of the things it means is that there is a huge amount of energy in any amount of stuff, and what do you know, you can actually calculate how much. That's right. Pure and simple, mass, that is, stuff, and energy are the same thing. Here's what it doesn't say: how do you get the energy out of mass, that is, stuff? It says nothing about how to do that, just says the energy is there. Einstein realized around the time of World War II that if someone could figure that out, how to get the energy out of stuff, it would make one hell of a bomb. And indeed it did. But it took a lot of thinking and necessity and several decades to actually do that.

Another thing I've learned, which I have cryptically commented on, is that in fact healing from grief is almost completely an internal process. As I wrote, you can bring the light of one billion suns to me, but that won't do the job. All that light will not defeat grief and ignite life from the outside. It's me, me, me who must heal myself from inside. But how? How to do the healing thing which everyone says is there, but no one tells you how to get to. No one tells you how to be healed, no one tells you how to find the life you are supposed to be seeking. How am I supposed to do that? And that's what I meant when I wrote, "the silence refuses to talk".

Pam certainly wanted me to go on with life. And now I realize the one and only way I can do that, the solution to the problem, is to follow her example. No other method will suffice. No external processes will work.

One of the saddest moments of my life, was the saddest moment of Pam's life, the moment after we first saw her tumor on an MRI image when she realized her life was being destroyed. That all the things she had hoped for herself were going to be destroyed. This blog has told you we did everything possible to restore as much of that life as possible.

Through all of that, she never sat down and quit.

I have said there is no quit here. We went to rehab for all kinds of reasons, borrowed machines to try to restore her eyesight, went everywhere and did everything to have as much fun as we could possibly have. One day, while we were eating ice cream at a Tastee Freez, she said, "you know I'm still here" and we came up with an idea and started a business. We kept going out, doing things even later with her in a wheelchair, me lifting her in and out of the car, traveled on fun weekends, took outselves to see our daughter Elizabeth get her master's degree in Minnesota, even though Pam really couldn't get out of the car for the entire trip, went to our daughter Annie's wedding two years ago, one day after Pam was allowed to eat solid food, after her third brain surgery. She got dinner, a cupcake and coffee at that wedding. We kept throwing parties, and kept throwing them even when she would be out of gas by 6 PM. We just started earlier. The very last party we threw came to be because a neighbor said, "are you guys going to have a party this year?" And Pam said in her now weak voice, "that would be fun", and so we did, three months before she died. And yet this woman could not see the left half of anything due to eye damage. Never, from the time of discovering the tumor, did she know what day or time it was. She was partially able to keep up the sewing she loved by doing much simpler things. Every day before I left the house I asked her what Colors she wanted threaded and I would thread the needles. Damaged eyesight, an English teacher and book author whose ability to read was effectively destroyed, and on and on and on. And yet, and yet, no complaining. Oh, once in a while while I was lifting her out of bed near the end she would say, "this sucks". Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you say that and a whole lot more? Then we would shake hands on the accomplishment and got some breakfast. She looked forward to the food I would bring her, which near the end was almost like baby food, smoothies and protein drinks and soups and such things. And yet she ate it and she enjoyed it, and said so, and she looked forward every single day to her coffee. Even when she was too exhausted to speak. Even when she drank that coffee laying half sideways in her wheelchair. You've read about it here.

One of the famous books about the creation of the atomic bomb from blobs of matter is called, "Brighter Than 1000 Suns". That's the E for energy in Einstein's equation, powering those bombs. It comes from inside the matter itself. All you need to do is have enough of it in the same place. Then, properly treated, it gives off energy by itself, as the matter converts itself to energy. Sure, it can be used for evil. But it can also be used for good. The solution for finding all of that energy in matter was finally found.

And what is grief but the feeling that something is missing, that what is missing is huge, that something is horribly wrong, that something that should be generated is not being generated, that every day life is a hard lump of nothing. Grief is holding back life.

And from where comes the method to repel the darkness of grief? From where comes the ability to push off tons of suffocating, burning ashes? To break down and make useful again this hard lump of nothing?

It comes from the inspiration given as a gift by a person who was going to drink every drop of life, though completely damaged, until the very moment I laid her down in her bed for the last time. She looked to me to help her drink in life to the last minute she was conscious on earth. And that is the inspiration I now carry, internally. That inspiration is the actual means, the solution finally, to propel me forward, to convert internal grief to new life, which is yet meant to be brighter than 1000 suns.

If she could do it I can do it. Against all the pain and the weight of the ashes of grief, against all the energy wasted in fighting the roiling, spiking anger over the disaster of loss, there is Pam's Golden example of burning through pain and reaching for every last drop of life. I am now inspired to know, and finally begin to feel, it is simply not time to die.

*********************************************

This could also have been titled, "Why Not Just Die?"

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49scribes · 6 years

Text

Memories of the Core

🐰 [[[♠] ⅩℒⅠⅩ [♥]]] 🐰

Six years old.

What a damn foolish age to be deciding the course of the rest of your life. But you were six, and you think you know enough to make that call.

`To know what no one else knows.`

With that promise alone, I chose to become a Bookman.

Foolish, foolish child.

Foolish child, filled with ideas and dreams and expectations of what that will mean. Visions full of adventure and intrigue like all those grand stories you heard, told off of the lips of soft-spoken parental figures and repeated by excitable youth.

Adventure awaits you.

Mysteries that will be your secrets to keep or tell as you wish.

The tales you will tell around the candle fire at night, when no one can sleep and time is passed through oral tradition.

Excitement fills you. It tingles in every pore, fidgets in every finger, floods your mind and your heart.

You’re six, and you just know that your life will be exciting, and you don’t know that you are so, so foolish for thinking so.

You are just too damn young.

You are ignorant.

And you don’t even realize.

But that’s the reason why, isn’t it?

Six years old, eager, seeing life through a tainted lens, where everything is grand. You’re innocent, and innocence – as they say – is bliss. Willing to do what is asked of you, pining for acceptance and validation from those you look up to – literally. The perfect, vital age for molding however one needs you to be, to shape how you will think and participate in the world without having to re-wire your perceptions.

You’re six, and the world is yours to explore, but it is not.

Leaving everything is no big deal to you. You had little to hang on to anyway. Very little was yours, but very much was out there, just waiting for you.

It was waiting for you, and you had to find it.

So, at six years old, too young, too deluded, you agree to sign your life to this task. This is who you are. This is who you will be now, and you are so thrilled.

“I accept you as a successor to the Bookman line,” he – Bookman – says.

Its such a weird name, he thought… Bookman. Its almost like the name of a character in a story. Bookman. Why only that?

“Hidden history refers to those excluded historical facts that are outside what is generally known. From now on, you will record this hidden history, all right?”

“Yes!” There’s no hesitation as you follow his heels, the old man looking over his shoulder and down. As the strong smell of wheat fills your nose and the wind sweeps through the sea of golden stalks, and carrying dandelions on the breeze under a bright blue, near-cloudless sunny sky.

The waving flicker of that field, like waves on the ocean, mirrored by the sun against a canvas of bright azure was so beautiful, a fitting backdrop to great things to come.

As you follow old-man Bookman, the discussion takes a turn.

Your name – your four-letter name – cannot stay. As an heir to Bookman, you must renounce who you were, which means your name cannot remain. You must dawn a new one.

Its weird, but not an impossible adjustment to make. You’re so used to answering to it, but you can learn, if that’s what it takes to follow this course.

If its what you have to do to be a Bookman.

“What kind of name?” you ask, thinking of what sort of name you’d like. He tells you, a name that has the same number of characters as the name he started with. That’s good, because your name is short and sweet.

It has to be impersonal, he adds. No ties. No attachments to anything. No naming yourself after friends or family, nothing like that. You think about it for a while, but he tells you it doesn’t matter.

You don’t really need a name yet. In fact its better that you don’t have one – that you get used to not having one.

For now you are only Junior.

Junior Bookman, heir to Bookman. It is the only name – title, rather – that you will keep for a long time to come, until you, too, become just Bookman.

Junior and Bookman.

Its so weird.

Its weird, but you’ll get used to it.

Bookman plans to travel a long way, and that, too, is something you’ll get used to. In fact, moving around is preferred, at first. Seeing new places is much of the reason you agreed to go along.

You travel through many places. Bookman is old, but no obstacle seems too steep for him to bypass. The same cannot always be said for you, but you are determined. Whether you travel a flat road, or try to scale past a mountain with him, you are determined.

You keep following, and you try not to complain sometimes, and if you have trouble finding a way to get past something, Bookman waits. Sometimes he speaks, offers advice, and sometimes he simply watches in silence and expectation. When you finally get around something more difficult, he nods quiet approval, and you move on.

Times when you stop to rest for a time, Bookman shows you things. He teaches you ways to fight. The world – he tells you – can be a dangerous place, unforgiving to those who cannot defend themselves. The world – the human world – trusts outsiders little, and so outsiders, as they are, must be able to take care of themselves, much as is possible.

You accept this reasoning at face value, even though it is so much more complicated than that, yet it is also so very simple. You don’t think about what it foreshadows. It is simply the smart thing to be prepared for anything, isn’t it?

So he teaches you proper form, and he teaches you stretches that will have the most benefit for them. He shows how to move, plays a little of Monkey See, Monkey Do with you, and every so often he moves a limb to the right place when you don’t quite have it down. He shows you so many styles, fighting hand-to-hand but also with weapons. He shows how to manipulate another in a fight, both physically and psychologically.

You are young, and for all your youthful ignorance, you are still smart, and you take to it well. You are eager to please Bookman, who makes sure you learn all these things you never knew about before, and Bookman approves in quiet, passive movements, gestures, and on rare occasions he even gives a kind word.

Mostly his words are harsh, but sometimes they aren’t, and those days are the best.

He doesn’t only teach you movement.

He teaches you perception, ways to look at thing differently, to see sides and angles you never would have thought to. To keep your mind open, able to accept things as they are, but still to question why and how they are, because to never question, blindly following only certain things, is unacceptable in their line of work.

He teaches how to survive, both in society and out of it. How to work, to make yourself useful with what skills you possess, sometimes that you never would have even thought off. How to survive the wild, what places make good locations to rest in, and how to identify things that will make staying alive easier, like what kinds of foods to eat or leave alone and how to find water and shelter when none not of your own or someone else’s making is available. He teaches these things in easy summer, and teaches them still through the hard winter.

And he teaches you language. Language you already spoke, but never had words so advanced for. Languages you didn’t, and that you hear on the lips of strangers as you and Bookman pass through.

And he teaches you a language that you only ever hear from the old man. A language specific only to their clan, that no other people in the entire world except for you and him speak.

This language – like you – has no name.

It needs no name, as it has no country of origin, and no need for any others to reference, just as you have no home country to return to and no one waiting there to speak the words with.

And that is the best thing of all.

It is a secret, and no one else knows it. You keep that knowledge close. You treasure it.

This language is yours and you and Bookman are the only ones who even know it exists.

You learn something on your own. You learn to call Bookman Gramps, and you also learn that he doesn’t like it.

He tells you not to call him Gramps.

You ask why.

“Because I am your teacher, not your grandfather.”

“But you’re old,” you tell him, blunt. Innocent.

You learn one more thing.

Bookman hits hard.

You learn another thing.

Bookman hates being called old.

You think you shouldn’t do either one again, but you will. You won’t know it yet, but you definitely will. That’s one more thing you’ll come to learn: you like to razz people, and you like nicknames. So make that two things.

You live like this way for a year, just learning things, seeing new places, and its everything you hoped for and more. You are chosen, and you chose, and you are fortunate. There are so many things to learn, and it seems as if Bookman knows them all, and soon so will you.

You are seven, then, and you have learned so much. Bookman is pleased with you, and you are pleased with yourself.

And you are ready for the next stage in your training as the successor to the Bookman line.

This is the day you get your new – your first of many – names. Bookman asks if you would like to pick it. You decline. You trust Bookman to give you a good one. A good one that means nothing, and yet, means everything, just like everything else Bookman has given you up to this point.

He thinks only for a moment, and then he decides.

Jona.

Jona Junior Bookman.

You grin at him, delighted.

Your first Name.

Your very first record ever.

Now, you are really, truly ready to start not just learning, but being a proper Junior Bookman.

Today you have your first Name, and today, you will witness your first war.

And today, your eyes will open for the very first time.

#Memories of the 49 #drabble #the muse #hc

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soap-brain · 6 years

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You had this headcannon about Paul and shifts and how not being with Hugh would make him snap at his team...Do you think Paul would apologize if he yelled at someone like that to the point of tears?

oh absolutely!! paul is not a mean person at all. he’s snappish and tries to keep them away and probably has a bit of a superiority complex going on where his science is concerned, but he’s not mean.

i think it would mostly be misunderstandings, too. paul knows words can hurt (god, does he know), but he’s got difficulties correlating between that and what he’s saying. so if someone actually cried in front of him because of him being snappish and mean, he’d definitely apologize (and feel super horrible). most of the time the problem is that people are afraid to approach him about that for fear of repercussions. what they don’t know is that paul is a huuuuge softie and genuinely afraid of hurting people.

*cough* and because i can’t stop myself, headcanons about paul’s life under the cut. it got super long and i am so, so sorry :D

i think paul was a rather quiet kid and clearly brilliant from a young age on, but it wasn’t recognized. my personal headcanon is that his mother was dying when he was rather young, so his father was occupied with that and not with paul, and later the grief destroyed him, so paul was left to his own devices. not saying that paul’s parents didn’t love him, but they weren’t able to express it.

i haven’t made up my mind whether he was actually openly bullied or his peers just quietly kept away from him.he was definitely a bookish child though, but, occupied with his wife’s sickness, there was never really a time and place for questions about the universe in the stamets’ household. so paul took to books. kids’ science books and stories alike.that’s never too good a basis to make friends with, since everyone else was outside, playing whatever games you play in kindergarten and elementary school while paul flipped through his books.(also since there was nobody really at home, he quickly learned that going outside in the sun is most likely going to burn him. he was a kid, of course he wasn’t going to think of sunscreen.)

by the time middle school (or secondary school, which i prefer) came around, paul hadn’t exactly learned socialization skills. his mother died around that time, paul’s will to interact with the world outside his little bubble of reading material practically vanished, and his peers went on without him. middle school / the first part of secondary school was probably also the time when paul actually got bullied. not by everyone, and not as horribly as they could’ve bullied him, but there was a definite rift and he learned not to trust other people. he wasn’t stupid - he knew they were ostracizing him for something, but in his world view there was nothing wrong with how he dressed, how he talked, his interests and his ideas of a good time. unfortunately, nobody else agreed.puberty happened and paul decided that shit got too weird for him, so he stuck his nose farther down the books while his classmates were well on their way to becoming bratty teenagers.around that time paul’s interests cross-sectioned with school topics for the first time, and when a teacher, already weary and afraid of even more burgeoning teenagers to deal with, told the class a wrong fact about something. and paul, with a sudden burst of courage, put his hand up and corrected the teacher.now there were two problems in that: one, paul had never exactly learned how to tell someone they’re wrong about something, so it came out rather aloof. two, the teacher was absolutely not about to be lectured by some kid. so paul got detention and a few weeks worth of teasing from his classmates. he really should’ve kept his mouth shut, but he was in the rebellious phase of his early teenagerhood, and a wrong was being done (because frankly, the teacher got a lot of their facts wrong), so he went straight to the principal and complained. that got him nothing but a parent-teacher conference where he was branded as “troubled” and “has problems keeping up with the workload” (he didn’t. his grades were bad because he wasn’t interested, so naturally he struggled with learning for school), and that got him a talk with his father about how paul should never be afraid to come to him and tell him something. paul said yes and nodded and agreed, because that got him out of those talks before, and school got him into smaller courses that went through the topic more slowly and more thoroughly.so paul spent the majority of his teenage years in school, staring out the windows while the teachers talked and explained and were ever-so-patient with all the��“lesser gifted” students that stayed late every day.

and then, year ten happened and the whole year went to a bio-engineering research laboratory on a field trip.paul was... angry, at that time. at himself for still not achieving those grades he secretly wanted (if only to get out of those classes for “stupid kids”); at his peers for not liking him; at his father and all other authority figures for not understanding him; at the entire world for not bending to his will. that anger manifested itself in being the only one asking a question after the lead scientist had finished her presentation.he expected to get a vague answer and be brushed off. instead he got a “that’s a very smart question to ask!” and a full ten minute explanation that was directed at him, like he was someone to be taken serious.he managed to sidle up next to the scientist on their tour through the labs and kept asking, because he was hooked on being taken seriously. and he got serious answers every time.

somehow, that sparked something, and within the same half year, his grades improved enough that he was put into regular classes again. by the end of the year his teachers started thinking of letting him skip a year; by the end of year eleven he skipped right into year thirteen.

that doesn’t mean he magically got along with his peers. if anything, it got worse, because paul had never learned how to not be a smartass. but he was finally good at something, he’d finally found something he enjoyed (namely: being the smartest person in the room. also sciences), so he absolutely didn’t care.(being set up horribly on valentine’s day didn’t register for too long at that time. it came back later though)

he graduated second best of his year; when it turned out he was going to have to hold a speech, too, and when it turned out that his father wasn’t going to be able to attend the ceremony, he faked being sick and skipped out of it (also, a triple feature of marvels of the solar systems was coming out that day, and really, school can’t even begin to compare to his favorite show).

he applied to just about every college he could think about, afraid that his grades weren’t good enough after all. he also didn’t know what he wanted to study at all - languages? history? sciences? humanities?, just that he wanted to get away from his absent father and the town he grew up in.he got accepted to every. single. college and then had to begrudgingly make a trip to an advisor to get help with what on earth he’s supposed to do with that.due to a small miracle, the advisor was sick and he ended up talking to an advisor for phd programs during their coffee break, who, after listening to paul ranting about science, advised him to definitely go in that direction and which school to choose.

so, with his mind made up and set on a degree in astromechanical chemistry, he got a shuttle ticket and walked to his chosen school’s registration office.it was sheer luck that he was an hour early and had to spend some time in the cafeteria, where he ended up butting into two professors’ fight about whether, on a molecular level, physics, chemistry and biology were all the same. paul asked a question, and once again, he was talked to like an adult, and after one of them had made a derogatory remark about mycelial studies in regards to the overall composition of the universe, paul found himself going into astrobiology with a minor in particle physics and an oddly strong interest in mycelial studies.

he moved to college and was the asshole who’d read every single book by the time the semester started. his professors quickly caught on and redirected him to more works, seminars and conferences to attend. paul didn’t even realize that he was practically not socializing at all until the first year was over and he was glowing with knowledge. most people went home, there were parties and get-togethers and people having fun all around him, and no classes to attend. paul experienced a real life record scratch.so he tentatively started trying out social interaction, which for the most part went almost okay.he fell in love and had his heart broken almost instantly, so he withdrew again and buried himself in studies, because human interactions are scary.year two rolled around and he was still as studious as ever, but then someone invited him to a party (actually went up to him and asked him to come. he needed to lie down after that), and he went and actually kind of enjoyed himself.that’s when he met straal for the first time and they hit right off.that’s also when he saw his crush of that summer again, but this time with his friends and there were so many other cute guys, and paul came back from that party with a tentative friendship with straal and the sudden realization that he liked guys.that part he got over pretty quickly, but it took him a while to get used to having a friend.

college kept happening and he and straal got closer and closer. paul got kissed by a girl and decided that hey, maybe he likes girls? so he had a girlfriend for a while, lost his virginity and found out that no, she’d tried to get better grades by being associated with him, so he went back to hiding in his sciences. a string of mostly boyfriends later and straal smacked him upside the head for falling for every single guy who ever crossed his path, especially since most of them were rather transparent about what they wanted - either the status of being in a relationship, or they hoped to get some of paul’s brains that way.so paul went over to casual sex with whatever gender was available.

he and straal went on to university together, focusing their studies on mushrooms and astrophysics, and got funded pretty much instantly.

later on, funding was difficult on occasion; they eventually divided themselves between earth (straal) and alpha centauri (paul) to cover more ground.paul was a little lonely again on alpha centauri, which he didn’t like much, now that he had a friend (who was never only paul’s friend - straal was much more sociable than paul).and then he was just snacking and having a coffee in that café, reading some reports, and there was hugh, and the rest is, as they say, history.

(hugh managed to sweep paul off his feet so completely that he was absolutely useless for several days after their first couple dates. they moved in together after about two years, and a few months later paul’s and straal’s starfleet funding got approved in the most spectacular way, ie they were granted two research vessels, which were then constructed after precise orders from paul and straal, still holding the record for quickest construction. hugh, who had been working at the starfleet medical center on alpha centauri, saw not only a chance to stay with paul while also finally getting deployed like he’d been wishing for for a while, but also a chance to further his career, and immediately put in his application. he’s got aspirations for CMO anyways, and he was practically promised the position when their current CMO goes into retirement after this rotation. paul is both excited for and proud of his hardworking boyfriend, and the feeling is mutual. also, since jumping the discovery and hugh’s temporary death, you can BET paul is 800% more soft around his team. he learned a lot, about himself and about humans in general.)

so this got super long! if you read this far, you totally deserve a cookie :D but yeah there we goes, this is my backstory to paul.

#lksjdlfksdjf this got SO LONG i am SO SORRY #stamets #discovery #anonymous #ask #answered

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 6 years

Text

Revenge (extended edition)

So I’m sorry it got way longer than expected. You don’t have to publish it if you think it’s bad :)

(Warning: 18+ language.)

Revenge

Honestly, Agni’s always felt like he’s not really good enough for you. It’s nothing you or anyone else did; it’s just that he thinks you’re pretty much the most amazing person in the world, too amazing, and he… doesn’t think that he’s good enough for someone who’s the most amazing person in the world.

You’re the proclaimed “ genius-billionaire-philanthropist-player”. You had your first Ph.D at 14. You cured three type of cancer, one of which was how you two met- because your cure saved him. You made your fortune in tech - “real life Tony Stark” was on your Time magazine “Person of the Year” cover headline. You negotiated a peace between the two Koreas. You cured AIDS! For goodness sake. Peoples may have their opinions about how you seem to be, but your fuck-all attitude is so impressive, the Kardashian pays to go to your parties that were hosted without you ever showing up.

But him? He’s nothing.

No wealth, no fancy degree, no family worth speaking of - other than Soma. He’s just a kindergarten teacher for a private school where the tuition per year is almost more than his own salary. You saved his life, the reason why he’s not six-feet under but towering over most people at six feet five inches.

“Palpable eye-candy.”

“He’s exotic, we’ll give him that.”

“A kindergarten teach? Fo’real? That’s what The She IRL Tony Stark is into. Damn. I’m better than that and I can’t even find a date.”

“Pfft. probs keep that blond mop-head as a philanthropy trophy.”

“I wonder if he’s actually a pedo? Or a tranny, no real man is that pathetic.”

“Ay’yo ma, kill urself so I get a chance aye?”

“What do you call a male gold digger? A man whore?”

“Man-whore, man-slut. Whatev.”

And so on.

He hides these tweets, comments, gossips - whatever they are from you. Good thing that despite being the Tech magnate, you don’t care much for social media, other than what the trending memes is.

Until one day when he couldn’t. Even from all the loves and hugs and smiles he’s receive each day at school from his wonderful students.

“They’re funny!”

You insisted with a mouth full of strawberry starburst. It’s hard to imagine that the woman who brings fear on a world-stage level is his wife. Wearing long ebony hair in a messy bun, buried oversized sweater (previously his) stained with BBQ sauce, lounging around on the sofas, munching on chips, and cackling at memes he can’t understand, it’s hard to believe you’re the same person that walked out the door with butlers and guards trailing behind you.

That said, it’s moment like this that reminds him of how much in love with you he is - and the shame bubbles from inside him, clawing at his throat, threatening to spill over. The same feeling he’s been having since the media caught wind of the fact that you two are married.

He sat down behind you, surprising you with a hug. He figured that if he buried his face in your back long enough, he’ll regain enough composure to stop himself from crying from the sheer cruelty of people he’d never meet.

(You’re not surprised when he hugs you of course, he’s always been the more affectionate one. Correction, he’s the epitome of affection, love, goodness, and anything that’s GOOD^tm.)

(While you are, in short, an emotionless, semi-borderline psychopathic asshole and mostly an impatient bitch. If it wasn’t for Agni, you would’ve just blew North Korea off the maps with their own nuclear arsenal instead of spending months of planning with the joint forces of the South Korean government, the USA, and U.N forces.)

(You never once stop complaining during this time. And it was the God of Patience, personified as Agni, the only person who could manage to calm you down every time you’d wake up in the middle of the night, rambling about how much faster it would be to “Just. Bomb. The. Shit. Out. Of. Those. Commie.”)

(You still can’t understand why to this day, Agni refuses to accept his critical role in your so-called “peace negotiation” of the Koreas”.)

“What’s wrong?” You asks nonchalantly as you scrolls through your thousandth meme for the day. It’s one your way of keep yourself sane - the main way being Agni, obv.

“It’s nothing. Just work, nothing you should worry about.” He answers, resting his face on your shoulder, “but also, you promised me you’d drink less.”

“I did. I’ve only got two beers and half a bottle of mini-Jack Danny today.” You bit into a chip. Something’s off. He doesn’t usually brings up your shitty alcoholic habit unless it’s seriously too much, or if he’s deflecting.

“Uh, sure you did. I can still smell it on your breath.” He replies in a disappointed voice, his Teacher’s voice. The one he knew that you hate. Or at the most, mildly dislike. It is an impossibility to hate him.

“Whatever. Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know? Grading some kiddie finger painting or something?” You snaps back in a bored voice, , expecting him to muzzle you with your bowl of chips in return.

Instead, Agni pulls away, you turn back and his eyes are just spilling with hot tears.

You froze, unsure of what to do. Your computer like mind immediately rewind itself and methodically sort itself to all events within the past 72 hours to see where you might’ve gone wrong to make him cry.

“Why did you marry me?” He asks softly, refusing to meet your eyes. He withdrawn himself away from you, tucking his normally large body into the corner of the sofa, his fingers tugging at the hand-casted gold ring, “I..I was never good enough to deserve you.”

“Whoa. Um. Where exactly is this coming from? Who the fuck told you something like this?” Your eyes narrow dangerously. Agni wouldn’t just break down like this. You’ve been married for two years to him, and the news has only broken six-months ago. You’ve made sure to silence the press so that Agni can transition smoothly - apparently you fucked up somewhere along the line.

“What? No. I mean it. I’m serious. Between you and me. I’m nothing. I’m not even as great as Pepper Potts, and she’s Iron Man girlfriend.” He rambles on, his face still streaks with tears, “I’m just a teacher for a bunch of little kids who’re lucky enough to be born into wealthy families. They’re the best kids. I just.. I don’t know. Im not a professor for a prestigious college like Sebastian. I’m not the heir to a title like the Phantomhives twin. I’m not brilliant in any way comparable to Sieglinde. I’m..im..nothing.”

You stares at him. Wordless after hearing the words that came out of his mouth. A strange rage that you haven’t felt in a long time bubbles up inside your gut.

You haven’t felt rage in a long time because you have him.

A familiar desire to kill something uncoils itself from years in hibernation. You haven’t desire to kill in so long because he was next to you.

All that was bad and evil and rotten within your are locked away because he is the sun of your life.

The light of your days. The guidance in your path. The reason you haven’t drank yourself to death or overdosed on some concoction of drugs.

And here he is.

The most beautiful and perfect existence in this damn planet. Saying all these bullshit about himself. The audacity to believe his own words.

Someone will pay for this. You seethes. “Who? Tell me who.” You calmly asks as you yank him towards you for a tight hug. You’re stronger than he is after all.

“No one. But it’s true, isn’t it. You know that it’s true.” He hiccups, resisting your hug. You can feel the heat from his baseless shame radiating.

“All right. Don’t tell me.” You clicks your tongue.

“Tanaka! Show me all of recent Tweeter, Facebook, Instagram, and others relates to Agni in anyway.” You yells into thin air, moments later, the house AI, Tanaka, responded with all of what Agni has been trying to hide from you.

“Why? What?! No! No please. Stop it! Tanaka stop!.” Agni’s head perks up, frantically waving for the AI to shut up to no avail.

You skim through the flashing holograms, your blood boils at the comments, and tweets, and re-tweets and all the shits you’ve always been too busy to care about.

If these had been directed at you, you couldn’t give less of a shit. But no, they target the only thing, the only person you hold dear above all else. This calls for war.

And you’re very good at war.

Agni sees that flash of cruelty in you, the one where you beat a man twice his size to death because that man dared to kidnapped him. The one where you casually placed a bullet in the head of a former dictator in front of her rogue son. There’s a darkness in you. So dark and cold and cruel that he can’t believe he’d forgotten it still exists.

He begs you to reconsider, and try his best to muffle the black fire he can see is growing. The way your eyes darken. The way your nostrils flares. It terrifies him.

And so he begs you to calm down. To not let your anger gets to you. Try as you might, your sole vulnerability remains to be his puppy-dog sparkling eyes.

So tou calm down. You tell him him that it’s ok, you won’t do anything. If it’s all right, you’ll just block all of these nasty comments from his social media’s. Better yet, you suggest that he go on a “detox”. No more social media for him, none whatsoever. For a whole month until this all dies down.

Agni agrees feverishly. He apologizes for making you worry - something which still slightly pissed you off when he apologize for anything. You carried him to bed, he blushes, you made gentle love to him.

And when your beautiful Sun is fast asleep with his silky white hair resting on your top-grade silk pillowcase and his beautiful body cozied under your thick Turkish fiber blanket. You kisses his him gently and leave the room.

And you wage war.

You tracked down every single IP address of every single nasty commenters and tweeters and posts and retweets to their live owner. You made a list.

You commandeer their bank account, their stocks, their saving, their livelihood. Everything that are of value to them.

And you burned it all.

Temporarily of course. Agni would be devastated if he ever finds out what you’ve done.

You decided to let these fuckers suffer for a whole week, maybe a little more the worst of offender.

When you’re satisfied with all your doing, you return to your bedroom, where the light of your existence remains fast asleep.

He has the cutest snore

You smile as you snuggle next to him.

#revenge tw #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Agni #fic #reader insert #submission #follower writings #angst #hurt/comfort #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SWEET BOY #GO BADASS READER

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