#summon my 2AM self

[gnappart]

Since I still haven’t be able to finish the new age of the bkdk Persephone&Hades AU (stuck in a cycle of have energy/no time or viceversa çvç), here a little fic that I wrote weeks ago at 2AM (I have a brilliant sleep schedule, thank you).

ANOTHER KIND OF SHOVEL TALK

Izuku got his quirk a week after his fourth birthday. He was watching TV with Katsuki when he sneezed. The little boy covered nose and mouth – like his parents taught him – and suddenly he was holding a fireball.

“Deku!”

“Kacchan!”

“You’ve got your quirk!”

“I’ve got my quirk!”

Jumping up and down on the sofa, they celebrated.

-

Katsuki’s fifth birthday came around and he still had to manifest his quirk. He was impatient, but his parents explained to him that quirks may take time to show themselves. So, Katsuki convinced himself that his quirk was taking its time because it was the most powerful one ever and he had to properly train his body to contain it.

He would look at Izuku’s pretty fireballs – he was getting better at making and controlling them – and thought that it would’ve been nice if he had a fire related quirk too, maybe explosions. It would’ve been awesome. Katsuki kept on dreaming and hoping.

-

However, as his sixth birthday was approaching, the other kids started turning sceptical and talked among them.

“Did you hear? Kacchan still hasn’t got his quirk.”

“That’s strange, right?”

“My mom said he’s probably it.”

“Ah, I know, quirkless.”

Quirkless. No, it couldn’t be. Those were lies of stupid extras who understood nothing!

“Soon. Soon I’ll get my quirk and I’ll become a hero with Deku, and I’ll show them!”

-

He turned seven, then eight, and still nothing. His classmates and “friends” wouldn’t try to hide their gazes and comments anymore. Some even tried to “put him in his place” but Katsuki punched back until they ran away.

When Deku found out, he had the strangest expression ever, so dark… Then he bursted out crying. Silly nerd.

Izuku clung to his friend’s arm all the way to the infirmary. Since the nurse wasn’t there, Katsuki had to do with Izuku’s clumsy help. Between sniffs and applying band-aids, Izuku kept repeating how amazing Katsuki had been to win against a whole group. Normally, the blond boy would’ve preened under the compliments. However, during the last year they started grating on him: Deku was lying to make him feel better. But he didn’t, he felt worse. That was the day the presence of Izuku started feeling sour.

-

Things repeated themselves until Katsuki couldn’t take it anymore; there’s so much the body of an eight years old can repress.

“Kacchan’s amazing, Kacchan’s amazing” he mocked, “Stop it! I know you’re lying! You just think I’m a useless quirkless! I can see your eyes… you think I’m pathetic, just like everyone else!” his voice raised until he was shouting, but he didn’t notice until he found himself panting.

Clenching his fists, he watched Izuku defiantly, challenging him to try to deny his words.

He was met with watering eyes and he felt his heart split: half of him was heartbroken for hurting his only friend, the other half was irked to no end.

“... Is this what you think, Kacchan?”

“Are you deaf, Deku?!”

Izuku flinched: Katsuki had never spoken the nickname with such venom. The blond boy scoffed.

“Right, that’s wrong. Because I am the deku, am I not?!”

Wet trails glinted on his heated cheeks. He was so angry, and so sad, so lost…

Tiny, a bit chubby arms enveloped his shoulders, hugging tight. Katsuku whined and tried to break free but just halfheartedly, as the more he wiggled the more his protests turned into hiccups and, soon after, full sobs. His hands found Izuku’s T-shirt and gripped hard.

“You’ve always been amazing, and just because you don’t have a quirk, you’re not less amazing. For me, Kacchan is and always will be the best, my number one Hero.”

It was like someone slapped his brain. Did he hear that right?

Without loosening his grip, Katsuki distanced himself enough to see Izuku’s face. They were both a horrible mess of tears and snot.

“... Not All Might?”

His friend quickly shook his head, so energetically that his green curls bounced comically.

“I like All Might, a lot! But I like Kacchan better! And, and! A quirk is just a tool! Like… a shovel!”

A chuckle escaped Katsuki’s lips.

“A shovel?”

“Yeah! And it may be useful, or difficult to control, or just pretty. But even without a shovel, you still have your hands!” and as he said the last words, Izuku took Katsuki’s hands in his, holding them like they were the most precious things in the world.

“Will it be more difficult to dig? Of course. Still, you can do it and it will be an amazing hole nonetheless!”

The shovel analogy was getting a bit out of hand, Katsuki thought, but he understood what his friend meant to convey.

His precious, kind friend, who still cried like a baby when he got hurt so that Katsuki would coddle him (in his own gremlin way) or that would go absolutely feral whenever someone even just thought of disrespecting his best friend.

Izuku, who despite receiving the cold shoulder and cutting words once too many, still looked at Katsuki like he hung the moon. And how could the blond boy not have his self-esteem back with those eyes watching him?

“Let’s be heroes, Deku.”

“Yeah!”

His arms were already open, ready to receive the hug Izuku charged with at him despite their closeness.

“And if you need a shovel, just say the word: I’ll be your shovel!”

“Enough with the shovels!”

And Katsuki hugged his friend tighter, so as to not make him see the redness creeping on his cheeks and ears.

#bnha fanfiction #bnha fanfic #oneshot #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #deku #kacchan #kid Deku #kid midoriya izuku #kid Bakugou Katsuki #best friends bkdk #Deku will go feral for his Kacchan #the funny thing is it’s canon #don’t ask me how I came up with the shovel analogy #summon my 2AM self #she runs on fumes and plots that will never see the end #oneshots are truly a miracle for me

[weebsinstash]

Honestly valentino is such a dramatic bitch that if you did ever leave, saying fuck it you’ll figure it out as you go, he’d lose his shit. Torn between worried and pissed and it would be so delicious for those who love runaway readers

Protags/FLs/Readers what have you that run away are my bread and butter and i need to do more running away fics. Funny enough I have a few ideas in my drafts but homie there's so much to dig through at this point 💀

Imagine setting a really polite two weeks notice on his desk (that you don't really owe him) about how you're moving and getting another job, and you're extremely nervous because he doesn't say anything after you leave it in his office, and he waits until your literal very last shift when you already have some sort of other arrangement set up or trying to when he finally says "so what the fuck is this about you trying to quit?"

I imagine so many different ways he's shitty to you. Ripping up your letter right in front of you, catching it alight with a lit cigarette before dropping it into a trashcan, merely crumpling it up and throwing it on the floor to show you your feelings and your wants are absolutely nothing to him, he really finds it so funny you were just going to try and leave? As far as he's concerned you have absolutely no reason to leave and it would have only negative consequences if you did. And considering he was already a grown ass man and has been dead for a few decades, I can imagine him acting like you're just some dumb little girl, just some cute little bimbo with all her big stupid ideas that doesn't know how to do shit compared to him.

Not to mention the grief you'd catch if you ran away and had to be rescued, say a rival of Val's has had his boys watching all his lil errand runners and knows you fetch his shit sometimes and they scoop you up to ransom you back, not knowing you've ran away and to your knowledge your former Overlord boss has forgotten about you. Meanwhile Valentino goes to do a drug deal or whatever mafia dealings he does and, oh what a surprise, there you are, tied up and gagged with your big watery eyes looking up at him in fear while also silently begging him for help while he's developing a rager and realizing you look pretty cute when you're bound and helpless. I've even thought of like, he saves you from being kidnapped or like has you resuscitated from overdosing or trying to kill yourself and he slaps you with the bill just so you owe him a debt he can slap interest on and keep you indebted to him for literally forever. And if you don't show up when he summons you, it's just a couple of texts to his Goon Group Chat and an order of "bring this bratty lil shit back asap" before you're being dragged back by his henches

Outwardly he'd try and act tough but we all know Val doesn't take his little "breakups" well. At first he says you're just a loser and he doesn't need you, doing his typical self-soothing denial routine of going to the salon, buying himself new things, posting to social media about how everyone is useless and he doesn't need them, like what he does when he breaks up wirh Vox before getting back together.

Homeboys up on here like "mothpimp posted at 2am: bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks"

hellraiser42069, sending a photo of a familiar certain someone from a distance: I was just at the corner of 6th and mulberry, ain't this your bitch big v

mothpimp, already dispatching some of his lackeys to retrieve you within .00001 seconds: pfff that's stupid im a pimp not a simp 🙄 I don't chase no one 😤"

You finally see him again and he's clearly been pampering himself which is a dead giveaway for how you've gotten under his skin and he's all "look who came crawling back" when he knows full damn well he had to kidnap you to even have a conversation and fully refuses to acknowledge he's being legitimately creepy because you aren't even making him money like Angel or his other workers,you're just like. An unrequited crush almost. A little pet/companion/future fleshlight.

It's common with pimps and sex trafficking to force the workers to get tattoos or certain identifying marks of ownership to designated who they belong to but I imagine depending on the kind of story you've craving that Val's version of this, for the Reader, is basically having you constantly wearing things he's given you if not outright deciding what you wear and look like 24/7. That big hunky hellhound at the bar thinks you look cute? His pickup line dies in his throat when you spin around and you're wearing a choker with a big red bejeweled heart and he instantly knows that if he so much as says hi to you that there's a particularly aggravated moth sitting right across the room ready to shoot him dead out of sheer possessiveness

#yandere stuff #sinprompts

[zeninsama-moved]

lol i was working and I think I may have accidentally closed tumblr thinking i sent it but its me, the one who sent that Naoya thirst!

So lolll irdk if this is okay (the monsterfucking) again, but uhmmm, like what if the previous 10 shadows users did try to tame mahoraga and that it involves sacrificing one of the zenin daughters and even their wives, but there's still no success. Hundreds of years later (in a happier au) Megumi does tame it and but there seems to be something weird? It seems so gentle and so attached to you, his classmate, who coincidentally is also his crush. And idk if this is in the manga but lets say he shares his shikigami's consciousness and senses and daddy mahoraga always sends him the most depraved thoughts and images of you (even without being summoned, whenever you are around) and it considers you their mate? And now Megumi can't be anywhere with you in the vicinity without getting hard.

Sorry if this is not as good as the last one, I may or may have not read a fic where Megumi lets totality fk reader so yeah... Its almost 2am in my country and here i am being in my degen self 🥹😅

HELLO! IT IS MORE THAN OKAY, I'M HONORED U WANT TO SHARE YOUR THIRSTS WITH ME <3 THIS TROPE IS ALWAYS A CLASSIC... controversial but i am honestly not a big monsterfucker? like i think my limits are at true form sukuna & like yoshida csm with his tentacles. anyways this trope is so much funnier with megumi bc i can only imagine how flustered he would be. how embarrassed he is when you're in the vicinity and he gets some intrusive image airdropped into his mind of past you getting fuckin spitroasted or smth LMAO. he cannot even look u in the eyes.

#cw monsterfucking #mercury speaks

[jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka]

Well @puzzle-gvf tagged me in 10 songs I’m currently obsessed with (I had to go and listen to everyone’s songs first!)

Here’s 10 songs from my “Existential Dread” playlist for when I want to listen to music but don’t have a particular genre in mind

Starting off strong I can’t get this song out of my head woah woah woah woooaah woah

I mentioned I heard this song on the radio one morning and it went straight into the playlist

This is self explanatory. I want to get drunk and sway in the living room at 2am to this song

Another k-pop slip 🫢 but the music video is soooooo good

You know that saying the rest of the artist’s discography is not as good as the song you discovered them by? Yeah this is that. Or maybe I just like that it’s about airplanes cause I’m a nerd

Hands down best Orville Peck song. Never skip it

I actually hadn’t listened to this song in a while and it played the other night and I was like daaaamn 😮‍💨 I forgot how obsessed I was with this song particularly when I discovered her

My absolute fav MCR song

It was between this one and The Summoning. I’ve just gotten into Sleep Token but I fuck with them

Finishing strong. Specifically 4:13

If you want to talk about music I’m tagging:

@maud-gone @anthemofgvf @songbirds-sweet @sunandthemoontwinflames @sunfl0wer-power

(a few of you have already been tagged but I’m tagging you again cause I wuv you)

#I literally love talking about music #and I listen to everything really #I do love some classic rock it’s just in a separate playlist #Kallie answers asks! #Kallie’s Spotify playlist #Spotify

[buttercantpickaname]

So… I’m sick again. Yay.

It really just reminds me just how low my tolerance is for any type of pain or discomfort. I literally just have a sore throat and stuffy nose right now. So, what am I going to do about it?

Sulk. I’m going to sulk. I’ll take some vitamins, but I’ll mostly sulk. And take an unreasonable amount of time off of school to wallow in my misery and self pity.

Also, it’s almost like 2am for me and I’m not even tired. I SHOULD sleep, because if I don’t I’ll probably feel even worse. But the question is… will I?

At least I have my music. Specifically The Summoning and Ascensionism, both by Sleep Token. I haven’t listen to a whole lot of their music but I do like quite a few of their songs. :)

Also, I get sick often. I’m gonna make a hashtag for every post I make when I am diseased. Maybe.

#butter is diseased again #<- here it is #I hate being sick #but oh well #anyway #I’m going to be miserable for the next few days.

[sarenhale]

Hi :3 My WOL is a sun seeker Miqo - she is a summoner and weaver, and loves all animals. Her patron saint is Nymeia. She loves having her carbuncle, minion, and blue chocobo keep her company (a crowd of animals following her everywhere is a normal sight). Being stylish is a requirement to Hiina, so she took up weaving and leatherworking as soon as she visited Uldah and Gridania for the first time. Plus she tends to be lone wolf/self sufficient, so she wanted to craft her own gear. She is not afraid to grind everything to a halt if she doesn’t have the right outfit to continue her task. She also loves to wander the world gathering fibers and plants for her crafting. She finds it very decompressing after fighting.

Hiina moved around from foster to foster a lot as a child, so no particular place feels like home, except when she’s with the Scions. It took her a long time to develop vulnerability with them, but now she would take a bullet for any of them, especially Yshtola and Graha. Zhloe and Khloe are her adopted baby sisters and she protec and care and craft anything they need. I think Aydee and Hiina would be friends and they would do one brain cell gremlin activities together, like getting McDonald’s at 2am.

Ohhh aaaah Hiina looks so cute!!!! She looks adorable, and I feel like her and Aydee could totally hit it off! :D She needs more Miqo'te friends!!

I love her ability to handle animals and that she's used to having a lot of animal companions around! I love her sense of style, that black dress in the last screen looks amazing on her ❤

Aydee loves her chocobo Pumpink, so I feel like they could bond over their love for chocobos too! I think they have a lot in common and they would absolutely be friends! Thank you for sharing your lovely girl !

#answered #love seeing other miqos! #ffxiv

[silverpsychedelic]

Hey I adore your artwork! As a NiGHTS and Balan Wonderland fan it's great to have someone on Tumblr who represents us in a positive light. I keep seeing references to characters named Amity and such. Are these OC's of yours, what do they do?

Surprisingly there are a lot of us! It's just sometimes hard to see it when there's been so much negativity surrounding BWW, but hey, there's enough of us who genuinely enjoy it to keep it going strong!

Amity, Ambi, Versi, Phantasma And Magoria (and more, though currently unnamed) are all ocs of mine I've created! They're usually results of crossover AU pairings I play around with which fall under various titles. Ambi, Versi, Phantasma and Magoria all come from a timeline I've dubbed the Lavender Gold AU (a reference to the colour schemes of Balan and NiGHTS -the main pairing). Amity comes from something called the Broken Mirror AU -formerly called the Broken Crown AU, and features Balan and Reala as a main pair (NiGHTS x Lance also happens in this one).

I MAY put this under the cut cause it's going to be a bit long, but I'll try to keep the character profiles relatively short (Ive been needing a post that puts all of them together anyway). So, if you want to check it out, feel free to take a look!

Ambivé (Ambi for short) is the firstborn between NiGHTS and Balan! She was kind of an accident that happened due to an intense spark of wild magic between the two, and she's basically a lil gremlin harbinger of chaos. She's wild, hilarious and is usually finding new ways to drag everyone around her into hair-brained schemes. For a while, she struggles with feeling as though she's not good enough to take over for Balan someday -because let's face it, he casts an enormous shadow and that comes with many expectations. She struggles with feeling as though Balan doesn't quite give her a chance, and that he's too scared of her messing up (like he has a few times in the past, which still haunt him). She ends up proving herself of course, and after a while she discovers she doesn't actually want Balan's role! Instead she leaves the theatre to set out on her own, and develop a gateway to Wonderworld that acts as a traveling circus!

Versi (short for Version) is Ambi's counterpart, and an adopted child of Lance! They came to the theatre as a child who had escaped a horrific home life, one of the worst Balan and Lance had ever seen. After their parent mode was majorly activated, Lance decided then and there that they would not allow the child to return to where they came from if it meant they would be placed in more danger, so Lance basically adopted them! Wonderworld also chose to bind Ambi and Versi together as counterparts, so Versi actually goes on to help run the circus with Ambi as her negative balance (and is often roped into her dumbassery). They're mostly mute, and often use sign language to communicate. In the circus their acts usually comprise of the darker, grittier stuff like contortionism, sword swallowing, fire and practical magic elements.

Phantasma and Magoria are the twins and second children to Balan and NiGHTS, and they come about when Ambi is around 18-19 and is becoming far more independent. Basically, Balan and NiGHTS aren't ready for the nest to be empty! The twins are even more adept at using practical jokes to their advantage and will terrorise everyone in a 50ft radius, they also speak in rhymes and riddles and attempt to confuse people by switching places all the time. I don't have a lot to them yet, aside from the fact they are the ones who will eventually succeed Balan's role (since Ambi decided she didn't want to do so). They are also, curiously, more Positi than anything, and they're the highest class of Positi Balan has ever created -hence why their ideya look like drops! They also have peculiar abilities with switching roles on command, and can change themselves from Positi to Negati at the drop of a (literal, I suppose) hat. It worries Balan a bit, because he fears his negative side a lot, and yet these two dip in and out of it like it's nothing.

FINALLY, there's Amity. They are the child between Balan and Reala, in the completely separate timeline called the broken crown/mirror AU. It took Balan and Reala a long time to reach the point of wanting kids, but they are their parent's pride and joy. Amity is a little intimidating when people first meet them, they're even liable to sometimes scare visitors at first! But they're a huge sweetheart, and they dedicate themselves to helping people just like Balan does. They can traverse mirrors, and this is often how they'll call upon visitors and summon them to the theatre! They primarily choose people based on problems to do with identity, self confidence, dysphoria and basically those who are struggling with feeling good about themselves. However, they struggle with their own sense of identity in the fact they don't quite feel connected to either side of themself -Maestro or Nightmaren.

There is also a LiGHTS kid in development but I don't have a name for them yet, all I have to their character is that they're strange and kind of off-putting and they hardly ever seem to blink lol

Thank y'all so much for listening to my NONSENSE, it's now 2am and I must pass out

#balan wonderworld #balan #Lance #NiGHTS #Reala #BaliGHTS #Balareala #LiGHTS #LGAU #BCAU #BMAU #fankids #wonderkids #ambi #versi #phantasma #magoria #amity #NiD #JoD #Nightmaren #Maestro #oc #silverpsychedelic

[98prilla]

I Won’t Say I’m in Love

I had an idea at 2am that Janus sarcastically asks Roman to marry him during arguments, but each time he asks he means it a little more until he realizes he’s completely in love with Roman, until he can’t stand the rejection anymore and runs away because Roman would never believe him if he admitted his feelings, only for Roman to come after him and propose instead. 

This isn’t quite that, though it is in a similar vein. I started with that idea and it evolved into this. That being said, if anyone wants to take the original idea and run with it, feel free, just remember to tag me!

AO3

...

         The first time he asks, he doesn’t mean it in the slightest. They’re in the middle of an argument, him and Logan against Roman and Patton, Virgil staying out of it, either because he didn’t have an opinion or he didn’t want to get involved.

           “Roman, you’re absolutely charming right now. Won’t you marry me already?” He snaps, breath hissing in and out, and everyone freezes at his comment. Roman’s face has gone red, from anger or embarrassment, he can’t tell, but the longer the silence goes on, the more he feels his own shame at his words burning at his throat. “sorry. That was… out of line.” He mumbles, adjusting his capelet.

           “I apologize, also. You are correct, I have not been my most… chivalrous, this afternoon. Perhaps… perhaps we should all take a break, to calm down. Then we can work out a… compromise?” Roman says, face flushing redder at the question in his voice. The moment is broken by Virgil slow clapping from the stairs.

           “Wooow, both of you apologized and Princey suggested a compromise? It’s a miracle!”

           “Yes, thank you, Virgil. Your sarcasm had been duly noted, and disregarded. Now. Don’t come get me when we’re ready to start over.” He comments, popping back to his room before anyone else has time to comment.

…

         The second time, he’s had a bad day. He feels heavy and disjointed, not all there, not all focused. He doesn’t know what’s wrong, he just knows he didn’t sleep well and he can’t seem to get comfortable, so he forces himself out of bed and down the stairs, dragging his blanket behind him, before collapsing on the couch. It’s almost 1pm, far later than his usual first appearance in the commons since the whole wedding debacle, since he was accepted, truly, since he was welcomed.

           He doesn’t remember drifting off, but he shoots awake as he feels a hand on his shoulder, letting out a small groan, having flung his arm over his eyes at some point.

           “What on earth could possibly be important enough to disturb me for, Roman?” he asks, wincing at the pounding that has started near his temple.

           “Are you okay?” He snorts at the question, rolling his eyes as he halfheartedly glares at Roman.

           “Just peachy.” He snarks, and Roman backs away, hands in the air. He can feel Roman’s eyes on him as he left the room, and sinks deeper into the couch. He’s surprised when a moment later, Roman returns from the kitchen, sitting down next to him.

           “Alright. Here you go.” He looks down at the table, a bit confused.

           “What… is this?” Roman looks at him, lip quirked up in a half smile.

           “Well that, is a glass of water. And that is something for the headache you’ve got cooking in your noggin. And those are crackers, since you have not eaten anything all day.” He looks slowly up at Roman, eyes narrowed.

           “I am not sick.” Roman’s eyebrow raises.

           “I did not say that. You, however, just did.” He groans, sinking even further into the blanket, so his eyes are just barely visible.

           “I do not get sick.” He mumbles.

           “Of course not, bananaconda. Now take the medicine.” He sighs, but complies, drinking the rest of the water and nibbling at some crackers as well. He barely notices Roman getting up, coming back a moment later with a Gatorade, and dimming the lights. He breathes a sigh of relief as some of the pain dissipates.

           “God, I could marry you right now.” He mumbles, finding the Gatorade is cold, and he lets Roman rest a cold rag on his forehead.  

           “I think the fever’s getting to your head, Jan.” He doesn’t reply, just hums and closes his eyes, trying to squash down the warm, fuzzy feeling starting to grow in his chest.

…      

         The third time he doesn’t say it. He’s in his room, relaxing in his plush desk chair. He’d been doing a color by number, choosing whatever color he wanted for each number instead of going by the recommended color chart.

           He hears a knock on his door, and gets up, confused when he sees no one there. Then he looks down, and sees a small gift basket, wrapped in a red ribbon with a small card printed with Roman’s logo. He rolls his eyes, and brings it inside, smiling as he unpacks it.

           There’s a collection of lotions, each of which smells deep and heady, just the kind of scent he loves. There’s also a few moisturizing oils, for his scales, which he’s a bit grateful for, he can tell his shed is about to start and making his own was a bit of a hassle. He laughs at the small snake plushie, but drapes it across his bed’s headboard anyway, smiling fondly as he leans against the bed for a moment, before his eyes widen and he nearly slaps himself.

           No. no no no, he cannot do this, he cannot do this to himself, he will not be so stupidly naïve.

           He is not in love with Roman.

…

         The rest come in small moments of delight, of happiness, moments where he forgets to deny himself what he cannot have, when he cannot squash the fondness inside of him, when he forgets to push down the silent, useless emotion he refuses to give credence to.

Playing Mario Kart, and he exploits every loophole and shortcut, strategically laying bananas, somehow always avoiding the blue shell when he is in first, slowing down enough someone passes him and gets hit instead, Roman cursing his skill, every time demanding another round, both of them grinning and sweating by the end of their tournament.

…      

Roman gets up early one morning, makes breakfast. When he comes into the kitchen, Roman slides a plate of waffles, covered in homemade whipped cream and chocolate shavings in front of him, along with a coffee filled with the perfect amount of froth, a heart patterned on it. His own nearly stops, breathless.

            “Morning sleepy serpent.” He mumbles something, heart stopping at how beautiful Roman looks, still in his pajamas, hair sleep mussed, but eyes bright, light from the window shining onto him as he turns back to the stove, flipping pancakes, humming, then singing, belting out showtunes. He catches himself almost sighing at how sweet Roman’s voice is, before he snaps out of his trance, just barely getting his emotions under control as Patton comes barreling down the stairs, summoned by Disney and the smell of pancakes.

…

         It’s a late night, they’ve had a movie marathon and the others all turned in hours ago, giving up one by one, Virgil the latest to leave. He is debating the morals of Disney characters, tearing apart the heroes and defending the villains.

           “How was he to know that toys are alive? He was using his creativity, to combine and make new, original, toys! If he hadn’t been traumatized by Woodie and Co, maybe he would have ended up an engineer instead of a garbage man.”

           “Ugh, fine! You have me on that one. It’s technically Pixar, anyway.” Roman mutters, and he laughs. “Since you concede there, I’ll give you Scar.” Roman looks at him, eyebrows raised in confusion.

           “Seriously? I figured you’d defend him to the death.” He shrugs, yawning.

           “Mostly due to the cut song where he tries to… let’s generously call it ‘woo’, Nala, which is why she leaves to find help in the first place. Plus, he never really wanted change or peace, he just framed his alliance with the hyenas in that manner to gain control. Besides, everyone knows it’s better to be loved than feared. If you really want complete control, make every choice seem like their own, make every action seem benign or like a favor. Get what you want by making it seem like what the people want.” Roman is staring at him, agape, and he flushes.

 He winces, because of course he ruined this, they were having a moment, and he ruined it. “… I’ll give you Ursula, if we’re counting cut scenes. She was technically overthrown and banished by Triton, though she did nothing wrong. Her vengeance is a bit extreme, but she at least had good reason for it, and really only wanted what was always supposed to be hers.” Roman answers after a moment, and he nearly sighs in relief, though he gets the feeling they were both talking about more than just Disney villains.

           He’s absolutely mortified, and not at all the least bit pleased when he’s awoken the next morning by Virgil, smiling smugly at him, having fell asleep, head resting on Roman’s chest, Roman’s arm around his shoulder, a blanket pulled up over the two of them. He certainly strives to make sure it never happens again.

…

He's a mess. A miserable, stupid, mess. He can't stop thinking of Roman, can’t stop striving for his smiles, the soft, fond one he receives in moments of quiet, the bright, mischievous one that brings out his dimples, the small, confused one when he didn’t understand why he was pulling away. His laugh, loud and ringing, the nicknames bestowed upon him at every chance, the small, subtle touches that sent his heart racing and his mind into overdrive and he was burning, aching, from want.

 The desire to run his fingers through Roman's hair, to feel his hands around his waist, to kiss him until they were both silly from it, to say every sweet word and guileless truth about how absolutely perfectly stunning Roman is, to defend him and his ideas, to protect him from his own self doubts and negative thinking, to repair every crack he himself had made in Roman's armor, to apologize a thousand times until the side knew he absolutely truly meant every word of flattery he had ever said.

 He hisses at a knock on his door, drawing back into the shadows. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone, he doesn’t want to see anyone, he just wants to wallow in his misery until this wrenching heartbreak goes away and leaves him alone! It’s no use, wanting something he can’t have. He won’t lie to himself and say otherwise.

 “Kiddo? You okay?” Patton, who can probably feel his emotional distress from miles away.

 “I'm fine.” He forces out, wrangling his voice into some sense of normalcy, wincing at the acrid lie on his tongue. He can feel Patton's hesitation, but the fatherly figure sighs.

 “Alright. But Jan? If you decide that you’re not fine, you know I’m here for you.” Then Patton walks away, and he’s only mildly surprised to feel wetness dripping down his cheeks.

 “I’m fine.” He whispers, curling in on himself, choking on tears. “I’m perfectly fine.”

…

Day three is when it all falls apart. He hasn’t left his room, he hasn’t moved much from his curled up spot on the floor, and it hurts why does it still hurt?

 He thought if he just stayed away, if he put distance between himself and Roman, if… if he detoxed it would go away, these pesky, useless feelings would go away!

 But they haven’t. They’re still pounding away with every beat of his heart, and he’s half convinced it would be better to just rip the stupid thing out than let it make such a fool of him.

 He knows limits. He understands them, he knows how far he can push the others before they start to break, he knows how much to push to make them give, he knows how far he can push before things start well and truly crumbling to ruin, and he knows, better than any of the others, his own limits.

 He knows what he can and cannot have, he knows how to be selfish without taking too much, and he knows this is something he cannot take, something he will never be given. He’s still the serpent, after all, still the liar, still the deceiver, still the snake in the grass, waiting to strike. He’s said I love you a thousand times to Roman, meant it more and more with each iteration, but he knows he doesn’t deserve to be loved. Not by Roman, whom he had broken so badly not so long ago, accidently, yes, and he had apologized, but still. He’d known how fragile the ego was, how tightly he was clinging to the final thread, and he’d still cut the strand without a second thought. He’s not to be trusted, least of all by himself, even his own heart has turned against him.

 “Janus? Can I come in?” He freezes at that voice, it makes his stomach sink and his pulse race and he feels a strange sense of vertigo.

 “No.” He says, as deadpan as possible, as much emphasis as he can, and he can almost see the frown on Roman’s face.

 “You haven’t been out in three days. Are you sick again?”

 “I’m fine, Roman, go bother someone else!” He spits out, anger creeping into his voice, because Roman is the source of this festering wound, even if he doesn’t know it. If he’s angry, he won’t be sad, angry he can do, angry he can fake as well as anyone.

 “no you’re not. I’m coming in.” He curses, lunging to his feet, but the door is already open before he has even a hope of locking it, and he and Roman stare at each other for a silent moment, before he looks away, biting his tongue. “Jesus, Jan. What happened to you?” He winces, knowing he must look a mess, knowing his hair is tangled and wild from running his hands through it so often, his face is a mess of dried tears and dark bags, his clothes are rumpled and wrinkled and his normally immaculate room is a bit dusty.

 “Nothing. Now go away.” He demands, turning to stalk to his desk. He feels a hand on his shoulder, warmth blooms down his arm, and he inhales sharply, turning and actually slapping Roman as he stumbles back, barely aware of the tears streaming down his eyes, because this is so goddamn hard. “Don’t. Don’t touch me, Roman.” He spits, venom in his voice, eyes sharp and fangs sharper. He hates this, hates playing this part again, but he needs Roman to leave.  

 “ok. I’m sorry, I should have asked.” He chokes on his bitter laughter because damn it, Roman is the perfect gentleman, isn’t he? He’s stepped back, hands raised in the air, the only thing on his face concern, not anger, or fear, or pain at the handprint still red across his cheek. “please, Janus. I know you’re hurting. I just want to know why, I just want to help.” He laughs this time, a wild, harsh sound.

 “That’s cute, Roman, but this isn’t one of your fairy tale quests where you rescue a damsel in distress. This is real life, with real problems, and maybe, for once, you should let it get through your thick skull that this ISN’T ONE YOU CAN FIX!” He screams, letting his words be cold, letting them be cruel, as he crumples to the floor, heaving, gasping in air through the shaking sobs squeezing tight his chest. “you can’t fix me.” He whispers, not caring if Roman hears, because what’s the point? He’s a pathetic, mewling lump, and surely after that display Roman will leave, warned off by his extremeness.

 “Janus.” He flinches at his name, whispered so softly, so gently, almost holding the thing he wishes more than anything his name would contain, coming from Roman’s lips, but that hope is a lie, a deceitful, monstrous lie, just like the rest of him. “why do you think you’re broken?” He doesn’t answer. He won’t answer, he won’t say it aloud, not now, not when Roman will see how much he actually means it. He squeezes his hands into fists, forcing his chin up, forcing himself to glare at Roman.

 “You should leave. Before I answer that question honestly.” He bares his fangs in a snarl, gold covering his pupils, racing throughout the room, lighting it up with a thousand pretty little lies that echo in Roman’s ears, telling him exactly how worthless and useless and pathetic he is, and he hisses for good measure, standing and sauntering over to Roman, leering at him.

 “I’m the dragon guarding the tower, I’m the hydra fighting Hercules, I’m the snake here to lead you astray, I’m the villain, I’m the bad guy, I stand against everything you’ve ever believed in, little prince. You’d be so easy to dispose of. Then who could stop me, hmmm? No one. I could kill you right where you stand, and no one would ever know a thing, my greatest performance would be replacing you. Or do you forget what I am, Roman, what I well and truly am?” He stands back, fangs sharp as he grins, letting out a dark, sinister laugh, one that reverberates off the walls, and something is breaking inside him, something is cracking and crumbling and he hates himself, hates every moment, but if Roman hates him, too, then he’ll just go.

 “Janus.” Roman says again, so soft, and his grin falters, his mask slips for a moment before he rights it, scowling as Roman steps forwards, undaunted, something strange in his eyes, something soft and worried. “you don’t have to do this.” He stumbles back at Roman’s words, shaking his head.

 “stop.”

 “I know you’re afraid. That’s why you’re doing this, you’re scared, and that’s ok.” He’s shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut, trying to push back the tears.

 “Stop.”

 “I know you don’t mean it, Jan. And I won’t run away just because of a few threats. I want to help you, I want to be there, I want you to trust me enough to tell me what is hurting you so terribly… please.” He feels Roman’s hand on his, and he jerks back, hitting the wall, eyes snapping open, breath coming in short gasps, and he wraps his arms around himself, shaking.

 “STOP IT!” He shouts, voice breaking into a million pieces, and the gold vanishes, his façade crumbling, only raw emotion left in his voice. “Stop caring, stop asking to help, stop acting like you’re my friend, stop being kind, stop being so fucking nice to me, stop getting inside my head, stop making me feel happy being near you, stop sending butterflies winging through my stomach, stop making me smile, stop making me laugh, stop being so fucking incredible that I can’t help but love you!” He screams, jabbing his finger into Roman’s chest with every word, tears falling down his face as he finally says it, all the fight draining out of him as he collapses, empty, caught by Roman, who lowers them both gently to the floor.

 He doesn’t have the will to pull away from Roman’s all encompassing embrace. He doesn’t have the strength left to silence the tears, to force Roman out, to go back to being alone.

 Shame curdles in his stomach as he breathes in Roman’s scent, lilacs and sweet summer breezes, as he melts against Roman’s chest, as his hands fist the fabric of Roman’s shirt and he sobs, hopelessly sobs, because this is an empty victory. Once he manages to pull away, he’ll see the pity and disgust on Roman’s face, and this, this will be well and truly over.

 “I’m s-orry. I’m so, s-so s-sorry, I didn’t mean f-for this to happen, I h-hoped it would just go away but they won’t, and I’m s-sorry…” he gasps, shaking, exhaustion cresting over him, and despite himself the ache is being soothed, because Roman is holding him, and then he just feels sick at his own selfish want.

 “Oh, my little mocking jay, why didn’t you just say something?” He laughs at that, throat raw and scratched.

 “because then you’d know. And it would all be over, anyway. You don’t love me, you could never love me, I’m not nearly good enough for you, I’m not good at all, really. I’m not… I’m not what you want, Roman. I can never be what you want me to be. And I just… I just keep hurting you.” He whispers, heart shattering a little more as Roman pulls back, and he closes his eyes, taking a huge breath in, trying to control the crushing, plunging depths of his despair.

 “Janus. Who says you aren’t already exactly what I want?” His breath catches at Roman’s words, at the tenderness they hold, at the painful hope blooming in his chest. He trembles as he feels Roman rest a hand on his scaled cheek, gently stroking the scales with his thumb.

 “don’t lie to me, Roman. Please, I can’t… it already hurts so much, I can’t listen to you lie to me.”

 “Does it feel like I’m lying, dearest?” It doesn’t. It really doesn’t. Slowly, he opens his eyes, meeting Roman’s worried, soft… loving… gaze. “I love you, Janus. You’re funny, and smart, and I love your sarcasm, your half awake morning bedhead, how you gesture when you’re passionate, how all your emotion lives in your eyes.” Roman murmurs, a small, warm smile on his lips as he moves his hand, stroking back a stray piece of hair. “I love you for so many miniscule reasons it would take me a thousand thousand years to list them all. I would have told you sooner, darling, but I didn’t want to pressure you, not while you were still settling in.”

 “Roman…” he says weakly, he’s so flat out tired, so worn down and hollow and empty that he doesn’t even know what to say, what to feel, except this warming in his chest slowly spreading to the rest of him, making him feel lighter than he had in ages.

 “come here, dearest.” Roman says, and he can’t help but collapse into Roman’s lap, letting the creative side pull him close, pressing his head against Roman’s chest, more tears slipping out as he feels Roman gently stroking his back, cradling his head, murmuring soft assurances and words of gentle warmth, and repeated, wonderful, ‘I love you’s’ that ring true every time, and all he can do is keep clinging to Roman, praying he doesn’t wake up from this dream.

 Then Roman tilts his chin up, his pulse jumping at the touch, then Roman’s lips are on his and he melts at the explosion of warmth and color and light sparking in his mind, and he’s pressing forwards, desperate, and Roman is soft and warm and perfect and it’s everything, it’s everything he’s wanted for so, so long now.

 When they finally break apart, he’s breathless and flushed and the broken emptiness is almost gone, almost fully replaced with hope and love and light, and he laughs as Roman sweeps him off his feet, holding him bridal style as he showers his face in small kisses, each one making him flush redder and redder, until he yawns, despite himself.

 “Oh, I’m sorry, are my affections boring you, pretty little liar?” Roman teases, and he grins, nuzzling against Roman’s chest, letting out a soft breath that seems to untie the last lingering knot in his chest.

 “Obviously. What a trial.” He mumbles, feeling Roman stroking his hair again, realizing his eyes have slipped closed.

 “When did you last sleep, mi amor?” He shrugs, he doesn’t know, honestly, and now that Roman is holding him, it’s the only thing his body wants, it takes everything in him not to just fall asleep now. “alright. Let’s get you to bed then. We can talk more in the morning.”  

 “stay. Please.” He asks, nearly begs, eyes flying wide with sudden fear, suddenly sure that if Roman walks out the door, he’ll wake to find he was dreaming, because there’s no way this is real, no way Roman loves him.

 “of course, little hisser. I wouldn’t dream of leaving my beloved alone and unprotected from any foul nightmares that may come his way.” Roman soothes, sliding into bed with him still in his arms, immediately spooning gently around him, and he shifts closer, closing the little space there was left between them, until their legs are entangled and his forehead is resting in the crook of Roman’s shoulder, and Roman’s arms are around him, and he’s still holding tight to Roman’s shirt, feeling him exhale against his cheek.

 “I love you, lovely. Now get some rest.” And finally, he does.

#roman sanders #sympathetic roman #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #sanders sides #minor virgil appearance #minor logan appearance #minor patton appearance #pining #self esteem issues #deceit angst #some angst #some fluff #Happy Ending #rociet #roman x deceit #soft boys

[r--at]

Obey Me! Demon Brothers

Random + Fluff Headcanons

Warnings: None, just fluff :)

This is my very first post on this account so I dont know how good it will be

Lucifer

Remember the Paws and Claws event? The reason he never lashed out or let his instincts get to him was because he saw everyone else around him as his pack. He had no desire to hurt his pack mates, including MC.

Wouldn't show it but if MC painted their nails the same color as his (red), it would definitely boost his pride and ego.

This man, this man right here, would definitely think its romantic to slow dance in the moonlight. Look at him, do I even have to explain?

If he noticed the MC likes praises he would start to give them more praises every now and then if they did something right, but would refuse to admit to doing so.

Mammon

Loves head pats and hair ruffling.

Would completely melt if you praised him or complemented him.

His hair is very soft and well kept, very, very fluffy and fun to run your hands through.

If he ever got into an argument with his human--I mean MC, he would show up in the middle of the night to apologize about getting upset.

Leviathan

Definitely listens to Cavetown, favorite album is probably the Lemon Boy one.

He'd go into complete shock if he found out MC liked reptiles

Levi: I'll summon Lotan!

Mc: *glaring* Do it I LIKE reptiles.

Levi.exe has shut down

Would completely fall for MC of they told him about any animes they watched or what kind of games they have played.

Can't tell the difference between close friends and having feelings for someone, poor lonely boy isnt used to being cared so much about which is probably why he always friend zones MC. The king of friend zoning.

Satan

Has most definitely gone to some kind of cat cafe before.

The type of person, or well demon, to feed and snuggle the stray cats he randomly finds in alley ways or on the streets.

Read. Books. With. Him. He has the best book recommendations ever, unless you got on his bad side, he may just slip you some suspicious spell book instead.

Prefers the books over the movies, could probably make an entire ten page essay on why the books are better than the movies.

Related to books, I see Satan as more of a Ravenclaw, maybe a Gryffindor.

Library or cafe dates are his favorite.

Asmodeus

His soul would leave his body if MC brought back some cheap makeup pallet from somewhere like Walmart, yes I'm talking about my fellow broke hoes, it's okay, I buy Walmart makeup sometimes too.

Would admire nearly any of MC's flaws, and come up with reasons to why they are beautiful, but of course not as beautiful as him, but close.

If he found out you were LGBTQ+ he would definitely buy you loads of necklaces, bracelets, flags, miniflags with the flag or flag colors.

Would always be there to hype you up and raise your self esteem.

Beelzebub

At first he would never share food with anyone, but once he gets close to MC he would invite them to all his kitchen raids.

Not allowed to go to the grocery store without supervision because he buys a lot of 'unnecessary' things, poor baby just wants some extra food is all.

Hoards food under his bed, no doubt about it.

The absolute best at restaurant recommendations.

Would get up at 2am to go out to eat if MC got hungry.

Invites the MC into Belphie and his snuggle and nap sessions.

Belphegor

He snuggles with pillows because their warmth reminds him of Lilith.

Whenever Beel gets in trouble for raiding the fridge he would be there to defend him and comfort him later.

Shares EVERYTHING with Beel

Isn't the type to verbally say sorry if he did something to hurt MC's feelings instead he uses actions, normally ends up just sneaking into MC's bed in the middle of the night for snuggles as a way to show he is sorry.

Has attachment issues, but doesn't show it nor tell anyone about it, probably because he denies that he has it.

I was listening to Cavetown while making this, I may or may not have lost focus a few times.

I may do an undateable version if anyone would like :)

#obey me fluff #obey me #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me luficer #obey me belphie #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me mammon

[nayladoodles]

Dream is not okay

It's sad dreammare time y'all, buckle up!

My mind is a wonderful thing at 2am. It provided me with an idea that I'm very sure has been done.

WARNING: MENTION OF SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Tea: Dream is actually insanely depressed due to literally no one from his au or the multiverse caring about him as a person. They only want to use his aura as a "one hit wonder drug" discarding him once they get what they want.

Blue and Ink are not guilt-free in this either even if they don't do it intentionally.

Dream has hobbies like painting, singing and reading (he likes sci-fi, macabre, poetry and, fantasy). He tries to share his talents with the villagers but No. One. Cares. He is a ray of sunshine. All they care about is getting their daily fix. Dream begins to realize that once people get what they want from his aura they'll leave him.

He hates it. He feels used and lonely. He at one point takes a black apple and feels the urge to take the happiness away from the ungrateful. If he can't be happy why should they? He snaps from these dark thoughts in tears realizing he can't takeaway happiness from nightmare who is the only one who deserves it in his opinion.

He carves a box and hides the apple in it. He also keeps a journal about his life.

When he discovers Nightmare is abused and bullied he is heartbroken. He also has no idea how to approach Nightmare without cornering him like his abusers. As a result dream feels horrible guilt and his depression worsens the more Night pulls away from him.

Desperation/monophobia triggers the 'fawn' trauma response causing Dream to do literally anything to keep others by his side even if it makes him uncomfortable.

At one point (though Nightmare doesn't remember this) he tells his brother "You are going to leave me too someday soon and I wouldn't blame you..."

Nightmare eats the apple a month later and Dream finds twisted satisfaction in Night dusting the villagers. Serves them right. Self loathing returns full force as he is turned to stone.

100 years is a long time to stew in regret and self depreciation.

By the time Dream escapes he's even worse than before but once he joins the stars he has little time for depression. Blue figures it out by observing Dream closely though he at first is the same as everyone else using Dream's aura as a pick me up on bad days.

Dream finds Nightmare again and so they fight Dream's fawn response still very much present to the point of accepting bodily harm if it means he has Night's undivided attention.

One X-Event later he has a new bodyguard and life continues as a fugitive. Ink left him like he expected and Blue was dusted by X-Gaster.

Over time Cross uses his aura to re-center himself and begins to lean toward joining Nightmare's group which again Dream expects.

The "betrayal" is nothing life shattering much to Nightmare's dismay. He captures Dream and imprisons him.

Dream's aura progressively balances out Nightmare's crew and castle which satisfies Dream in a weird way.

He does not attempt to escape after being caught the first time (which was just to save face... he didn't truthfully want to escape).

Nightmare rewards Dream's good behavior by removing the magic restraints he had on him. He expects Dream to try and run or summon his weapon but he does not confusing the hell out of Nightmare.

As a reward for not attempting to escape or trying to contact Ink Nightmare lets Dream explore the castle and one day finds him painting in one of the empty rooms. He never knew his brother was so good at it. (O o f). He watches Dream paint for awhile before noticing the line of red dripping down his arm from under the arm warmers Dream wears. It's definitely not paint.

More confusing still to the other guardian is the wave of negativity he felt from Dream after Cross joined him. The other swears he saw Dream's pained smile drop as the portal closed. These waves of negative energy continue to occur whenever he is around Dream. He figures it's his aura causing it but... N O P E.

The next time he finds Dream painting Cross is also there with Killer. They listen as Dream begins to sing as he paints. He has dark circles under his sockets that were not there the previous time Nightmare checked on him. As time progresses Dream begins to look worse for wear like he did when he first arrived in the hideout. 

8 months later Nightmare realizes that his aura has nothing to do with Dream’s worsening state and decides to confront him about the negativity he constantly feels coming from him. Cross suggests he waits for Dream in the room he was given after his 3rd month of being imprisoned without an attempt to escape (He had no reason to lock Dream in the dungeon after the first month but did so to put his crew at ease). 

He goes to Dream’s room but his twin is not there so he opts to wait for Dream to come back. While he waits he notices an open journal on the desk and a ornate box made from cherry wood. The journal has his old emblem on it and the bookmark is one he recognizes as one he gave to Dream before the “apple incident”. Seeing it warms his soul in a way knowing Dream kept it and uses it still. He notices that the marked section has his name in the beginning of the section and that the writing is faded from age. He knows he shouldn’t snoop in his twin’s personal affairs but he is desperate for answers. 

What he reads in the journal is over 300 years of deep self loathing and despair. most of which is centered around the fact that Dream knew about the bullying/abuse Nightmare went through daily and that he was unable to protect his twin. The pages are full of faded tear stains and darker stains that Nightmare is sure is blood. Dream’s deep felt self loathing and bleak outlook shocks Nightmare and he is VERY concerned about Dream’s mental health. 

He sets the journal back to rights reading the recent passages. More deep felt self loathing which is fueled by Dream developing romantic feelings toward his brother or more accurately having previously established feelings resurface. Dream feels like a sick freak for feeling this way about Nightmare and some words have been smudged by tearstains telling Nightmare that he was crying while writing these entries. 

Nightmare can’t help but be flustered slightly by Dream loving him romantically as he too began to feel more than brotherly affection toward Dream which is why he pushed him away scared Dream would hate him for it. It soothes his insecurity that Dream feels the same and he knows he needs to talk with Dream about it so they can both finally be on the same page. 

Another section of the journal is marked with the darker bookmark Nightmare gave him and the whole section radiates very strong negative emotions. Concerned Nightmare carefully flips to it and what he reads nearly makes his soul stop. Unlike the section about him and Dream's emotions regarding him this section is full of Dream’s darkest thoughts. He barely gets through four pages when he finds this

“No one would miss me...Everyone leaves me once they find their ‘happy place’. I...I just want to bite into it and let go but...I can’t...I can’t leave Nighty alone...not when he just properly reentered my life....I love him too much to....”

The rest is indecipherable due to the heavy tearstains all over the page. Nightmare feels his soul stop and his breaths become ragged as he stares at the small box on the desk. 

Dream doesn’t have one...right...? 

He wouldn’t actually consider...?

Nightmare’s soul pounds painfully in his chest.  A sound from outside the room startles him and he knocks the box off the desk causing it to fall open. Inside is a black apple. The world goes blurry around the edges as he panics his chest tightening as he stares with a blown wide eye at the damned fruit. He can’t breath and his ears are ringing as the attack worsens. His own brother...his beloved Dream was actually

c o n s i d e r i n g....?!

Dream returns to find his brother (and crush) having a severe panic attack on the floor as he stares at the apple in the box. He sighs closing it it up and redoing the latch before putting it back on the desk noticing the journal which causes him to panic not knowing what Nightmare read or how much. 

The movement startles Nightmare who turns on his sibling, “WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT?!” 

“Night I...” 

“WHY?!” Nightmare screams tears gushing from his eyes both visible due to shock and distress. 

“ I WANT TO EAT IT SO DAMN MUCH JUST TO FINALLY LET GO BUT I CAN’T TAKE THAT SMALL BIT OF HAPPY AWAY FROM YOU NIGHT! I... I can’t...no one needs me...or cares...” Dream breaks down in tears seeing Nightmare’s other socket . Nightmare pulls Dream close as they both cry. 

“You’re the only one who *hic* cared about me...who *hic* deserves my happy aura. I...I feel so damn used! All people want is a one hit wonder drug and then they leave! Ink...*hic* Cross... *hic* Blue...I can’t do it anymore! That’s why I don’t try to escape. What reason do I have to *hic* do that? What good will it do? No one would miss me if I ate it..” 

“I would miss you! Please don’t m-make the same mistake I did. P-please Dream!” Nightmare sobs as the tar drips off him revealing more and more of his passive form. “I love you so much! I’m s-sorry for pushing you away! I was terrified that the villagers would hurt you and...and of my f-feelings for you. I should have talked to you instead of hiding.” Night hugs Dream tight sniffling and crying into his brother’s shoulder. 

Cue the LONG OVERDUE discussion they both have needed to have for over 500 years to get closure and to figure out their feelings. Dream���s cutting habit is revealed which scares Nightmare even more and he pulls Dream into the bathroom to properly treat them. He tells Dream he has the same habit and has been struggling to overcome it. 

 They end up curled up on Dream’s bed cuddling under the blanket Dream knitted to replace the old one from their AU that fell apart from age. They decide to start dating but agree to take it slow. Their first kiss is soft and sweet. They fall asleep their souls feeling lighter than they had in years. 

Dreamtale belongs to jokublog

Cross jakei

Killer rahafwabas

#dreammare #sad hours #dream sans #nightmare sans #tw sucidal thoughts #tw self loathing #depressed dream #tw self harm #cross sans #killer sans #horror sans #dust sans #Ink sans #dreamtale #bad sans #post x event

[elerondo]

@manofiiron (x)

     Elrond had a battle with himself - his past self and his present self - before he decided to come to Tony at 2AM. Even the few minutes waiting for an answer had summoned regret. ❛I shouldn't come here to burden him with my weakness.❜ and the likes. But seeing Tony had breathed new life into him, replacing the one he had just lost. It was so, so comforting, and his heart was about to burst as he planted himself firmly against Tony's chest, fully hugging the man.

     Elrond was quiet as he spoke, trying not to give away how out of breath he really was. ❝Remember my last mission, a month ago?❞ It was rhetorical, of course Tony remembers. ❝One of my guys didn't wake up from cryo.❞ It was top secret for as long as all members’ reports weren’t accounted for. ❝He just passed on.❞ It was like the gates of sorrow opened as Elrond said that, a finality that cannot be reversed. Not even with all the power vested in him. For more than a month, his memories had assaulted him with no one to open up to. Where did he go wrong? Had he not taken care of everything en route? It was supposed to be his responsibility!

#manofiiron #«ＦＯＲＢＥＡＲＡＮＣＥ ＡＮＤ ＢＥＮＥＶＯＬＥＮＣＥ» — marvel #death tw

[feather-dancer]

Trollhunters Fanfic Recommendations - Part 2

My original fanfic recommend post seems to have exploded in notes which is a little bewildering if I’m honest. Since then I’ve stumbled over more I have enjoyed thanks to a couple other recc posts doing the rounds, a few I forgot to list and new ones that have appeared on AO3

Want to see the original recommendations post? You can find it here!

General Trollhunters

Love, we hold on together - Jilaire post Season 3 and very cute and fluffy.

Young Atlas - Season 1 finale with Jim and wandering into the unknown to do the right thing.

Hope (or something a little bit like it) - A take on what it was like for Dictatious  when he was pulled into the Darklands when Gunmar was sealed away.

Partners - Season 1 finale with Toby’s thoughts of his bestie going off without him.

Family - Season 1 AARRRGGHH thoughts and everything he’d do for his current and newly adopted family.

Family History In The Context of the Parallel Development of a Relationship as Told Through a Trollmarket Dwelling - Just as it says on the tin.

Under the Sun — Part One: The White Rabbit  - Oh what wonders could Otto have seen and done long before we met him in the modern day? Learning he hates the cold and snow, for one, and someone seriously needs to get him glasses pronto.

The Devil and the deep blue sea - A retrospective on Walter Strickler/Stricklander and missed chances.

Talking About Teenage Angst: For Dummies! - Steli fic with Coach being wonderful and things going rather pear shaped one night.

Sticky Notes - Another Steli fic, this one is very cute fluff with post-its.

~~~

Stricklake

We'll Meet Again - I think the actual summary sums it up better than I can: Perhaps there is no such thing as love at first sight, but what about second or third or fourth or…?

The Festival of Nauna - It’s time for a Troll festival post Season 3 and naturally Not!Enrique “helps” things along in regards to Strickler and Barbara’s still strained relationship. Also contains Strickler who likely has lasting fears of being summoned by gnomes and good old changeling banter.

Fallout - Jim for a time saw Strickler as a father figure he never had, it turns out however he might have been closer to the truth than either had realised. Secrets don’t stay so forever though, be they true parentage or the slight issue of somebody not being human.

Like for Like, Echo for Echo - IT TURNS OUT An Amorous Attack (The hilarious Draal reporting in to Jim) fic had a sequel and I had no idea! We heard from the troll what happened but it’s not quite the same as hearing from the actual culprits.

misc. trollhunters prompts -  Sometimes fluff, sometimes angst, who knows what you’ll find! Also includes Rebecoming which is an AU that makes me yell in good ways. Then Organised Knowledge made me yell even more.

Stricklake: Stones Through A Lake - Stricklake prompts! Contains fluff, angst and all that good stuff.

almost (you) me - In Unbecoming, what if Strickler had glimpses of a life he could have had if things had just happened a little differently?

The Strawberry Shortcake Chronicles - A collection from the fluffy to uh higher rated? Following the long relationship of Walter Strickler and Barbara Lake through it’s ups, the downs, the dawning realisation of falling for someone and of scenarios that are just adorable to behold. And then Strickler fucks up.

Good Morning Arcadia Oaks! - Put it under this section as two of these ARE actually Stricklake which are incredibly fluffy and delightful and the other one is AARRRGGHH having a job and I love them very much. The newest one is god please let this idiot teach again I need it in my life.

~~~

Alternate Universes

Eventide - An absolutely DELIGHTFUL Gang!AU. Fear the renegade teenagers, they WILL break into your house and make you toast.

Eclipsing Daylight - Jim has spent 6 months in the Darklands instead of two weeks before his rescue and brings a whole lot of trauma, emotional baggage and nightmares home with him. This is the fic that made me feel less bad about Ghost!AU as he’s severely put through the wringer here. Heeding the content warnings is a must.

Lasting Repercussions - His fellow Trollhunters were a bit too late rescuing Jim in the Darklands and the Decimaar blade did... something to him before Gunmar was punched away. With visions and thoughts distinctly not his own Jim has an extra thing on his plate he didn’t ask for but perhaps it could also be turned into an advantage.

A Fantastic Upheaval - Barbara meets her unexpected basement lodger and nothing short of sheer shenanigans ensue.

Works in Progress - Three unlikely friends meet one by one in a hospital, none of them are okay but maybe, just maybe, they can help each other on the road to recovery.

My Only Sunshine  - What if Jim was trolled as a five year old thanks to a (Presumed) magical bath bomb? By luck he turns back into a human but only while the sun is up which leads to both mother and son scrabbling to deal with this awful situation while also trying desperately to keep anybody uncovering their secret lest the worst happens to Jim. Expect to feel emotions, a lot of them, and just wanting things to start going their way. “Jim loses track of time” has never been so ominous.

In the Dead of Night - What if Bular survived? It turns out accidentally adopting a child called Trisha, terrible decision making involving pans on fire, a very confused Otto and the show that must still must go on.

Fire Agate - Toby makes the decision to be trolled like Jim so his new extended family won’t have to see him age and wither as a human. Comes with feels, so many many feels.

Whispers Within - Did you want a slice of life fic with a gay Uhl who gets a monster boyfriend? Well even if you didn’t you can have one anyway as it is DELIGHTFUL. The school actually has more staff, there’s a toilet garden, family drama and such damn good LGBT+ rep! 

Text Ya Later, Trollhunter - A text/group chat fic that tangented due to what we knew at the time into utter delightful chaos. “I see you smiling through ur window u tiny fiend!” has yet to stop being hilarious and I recommend this fic if you just want sheer silliness that led me to binging the entire thing until about 2am.

The Time That Is Given To Us - Please heed the summary and warnings of this before you read. Steve gets up, goes to school, has practice, heads off home, dies. Wakes up and it was just a bad dream right? But the deaths keep happening and along with the phantoms of his previous injuries following him as closely as his killer, he remembers everything. His only hope seems to be some little things are happening differently, slowly but sure...

~~

The self indulgent section

Listen it’s the second recc post, I think it’s now socially acceptable to plug my own two fics way way down here :p

Masks We Wear, Lies We Share - Strickler centric and set before the days Jim Lake Jr. was one of his students we follow the grand ups, downs and general craziness of being a changeling in a human world balancing two lives and the existence of your brethren on the same knife. Then one day you get a goblin making a nest in your hidden office as this is your life now. Contains Ocs that deserve good things, Nomura glad to be back in a warmer climate and soon to come, Otto relating a worrisome auction house incident

It can deal with uncomfortable themes, warnings can be found in the chapter summary when relevant.

-

Ghosts he left behind (Ghost!AU) - After “A House Divided”, we saw Jim manage to stumble home newly changed in the dead of night before collapsing moments after breaking the threshold. However, what if he never made it home after crawling out the waters that changed him?

First chapter follows Jim only, second chapter (To come) follows the rest of Team Trollhunters as they desperately try to figure out what happened to Jim and in turn find the boy who is succumbing to an increasingly distraught state alone. Second chapter also contains Stricklake because I can.

Please remember to check the tags.

#Trollhunters

[innytoes]

Self-Insert January: Let’s Go Steal A Protégé

Yes I did write a self-insert fanfic of my own fanfic. Most of this was written in December and then um, January happened. This takes place December, probably before Christmas (and is obviously not canon).

Happy Self Insert month!

Being with Leverage, Jamie had seen a lot of weird stuff. Done a lot of weird stuff, too. But all the breaking into highly classified places and museums and pretending to be a circus performer and jumping off the Eiffel Tower did not prepare them for the magic portal that opened up in the ceiling of the Leverage Offices, or the lady that fell through it.

Luckily, their startled yell had summoned an Eliot, which meant that if this was the beginning of an intergalactic space war or some kind of mutant criminal rival of Parker’s, Team Leverage was going to come out on top.

Except Eliot actually put away his knife and greeted the lady, who struggled out of the squashy purple beanbag chair she landed on. “Hardison, Parker, Inny’s here!” he called.

“What the hell is an Inny?” Jamie asked. Was it a species of alien? Was Hardison’s Doctor Who obsession because they literally knew The Doctor? Honestly, it wouldn’t really surprise Jamie.

“I the hell am an Inny,” Ceiling-Lady said, before gasping and pointing at them. Which was concerning, to say the least.

“That’s Inny,” Hardison said, coming into the office and handing the lady one of Jamie’s Mountain Dews. Rude.  “She’s from a darker timeline and drops out of the ceiling once or twice a year to catch up. And get inspiration for her fanfiction. Apparently we’re like, a TV show over there. What’s up, girl?”

“Is that why nobody is allowed to move the beanbag chair?” Jamie asked. They had thought it was some weird Parker thing. Or perhaps that it was on top of some kind of secret trap door to Hardison’s BatCave or something. They ignored the part about the fanfiction and the TV show. That was too Truman Show to think about. Though their brain was already going over actors they’d cast as the team. Eliot would totally be played by Chris Evans, right?

Inny stopped chugging the Mountain Dew long enough to shrug. “They used to live somewhere with way lower ceilings. Nearly broke something falling from this one.”

“Yeah, me,” Eliot grumbled. He nearly broke something again when Parker dropped down from the ceiling onto his back. “Dammit, Parker!”

“Inny!” Parker proclaimed. “How is Deeks?”

“Good!” the lady fished a beaten up phone out of her pocket. “He met some alpacas, wanna see?” Parker snatched up the phone and made delighted noises. Jamie peered over her shoulder. They had to admit the dog was pretty cute, and the alpacas looked very intrigued by their small, same-coloured, short-necked friend.

“How’s life in the darkest timeline?” Hardison asked.

“What date is it here?” the lady asked, looking around. “I mean, if you still know.”

“Why wouldn’t we know?” Parker asked, still swiping through dog pictures.

“Well, I mean, 2020, am I right?” Inny said, waiting for a reaction. She looked incredulous at their blank  faces. “It is 2020, here, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Hardison ventured carefully.

“How dark is this timeline of yours?” Jamie asked carefully. Sure, it was a tumblr joke, usually reserved for stuff like the however-many-renewed-season of Supernatural when great shows were cancelled or whatever creepy feature FriendCzar had tried to impose that month.

The woman paused, frowned, then took a deep breath. “In response to the global pandemic of a deadly respiratory virus, President Donald Trump suggested on television during a briefing that people should inject or ingest bleach to kill the virus.”  She took another big breath. “And that’s not mentioning the fact that he downplayed the seriousness of the virus while knowing how deadly and contagious it was, called it a hoax, made taking safety precautions a political thing instead of a public safety thing, and held massive super-spreader events.”

“Donald Trump?” Jamie asked. “The ‘you’re fired’ dude?”

“Oh my sweet summer child,” Inny responded, before taking another swig of her Mountain Dew. “Yeah, I mean, I thought the fact that Australia was on fire at the start of the year was going to be the only terrible thing I was going to tell you.” She laughed and shook her head ruefully, like that was some kind of funny joke.

“Australia was on fire?”

“Yeah. Parts of the US too, for a while. Orange skies. But since the country was basically on lockdown anyway, it wasn’t like it was very different to stay inside for that…” Jamie stared at the lady, then back at the adults. Parker didn’t look overly concerned, but then, she never really did. Eliot and Hardison were both frowning, though. There was no sign that this was some kind of elaborate prank Hardison was pulling on them with the help of one of Sophie’s acting friends. Besides, he was good, but not ‘fake opening a magic portal in the ceiling’ good. At least not within the five minutes Jamie had been in the other room.

After a litany of horrible things, which were apparently not even all of them, the woman stopped. “On the upside,” she said. “I perfected my banana bread recipe, Deeks met some alpacas, Leverage is getting a reboot, and I figured out why I probably keep dropping in here.”

“To remind us that things aren’t so bad like some messed up version of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’?” Hardison guessed.

“Because Jamie is my OC,” she said, dropping a fucking bombshell like she just dropped out of the fucking ceiling. Jamie felt their brain fill with static, because no, they were a real person, and that either meant that this lady was full of bullshit, or, well, basically god. The Truman Show feeling returned ten times over. “This is my fanfic.”

Hardison recoiled a little. “No,” he whispered, fully understanding the implications of that. Hell, it was probably even weirder for him. Sure, knowing they were a TV show was probably cool, even more so with the reboot. But Fanfic Land didn’t fade to black and Jamie was pretty damn sure some kinky shit went on behind the soundproofed doors of their bedroom.

“Now, there’s two prevailing theories about this, as far as my internet rabbithole searches can tell,” Basically God Maybe continued. “Either I wrote this world into existence, because the multiverse is ever expanding and that is one of the ways it expands, or I just got some vibes from whatever crack between worlds keeps bringing me here and wrote down your shenanigans.”

At Parker and Eliot’s blank looks, Jamie clarified: “Basically, she’s either God or…”

“Some kind of shitty false prophet,” the lady on the beanbag chair beamed. “Probably the second one, honestly. My subconscious turns everything into a zombie apocalypse sooner or later, and you guys seem to be fine.”

Jamie whipped around to look at Hardison and Eliot, hopeful. “We’re fine, right?” they asked quickly. If anyone knew about a starting zombie apocalypse, it would be those two. Between Hardison poking around in basically every intelligence agency’s server ever and Eliot’s contacts, they’d know. God, Jamie hoped not. They were so not ready for a zombie apocalypse. Eliot hadn’t even taught them how to murder someone with an axe yet.

“We are definitely fine,” Hardison assured them.

“Yeah, I figured,” Not-God agreed. “If I had my say, Eliot would have stopped pining long before he did and kissed you guys.” Eliot grumbled and glared, probably because she was right. Parker patted him condescendingly on the head, which wasn’t helping matters.

The ceiling started crackling and glowing ominously. The lady put her can down as she slowly drifted off the beanbag, alien-abduction style. “Well, it’s been real. Be good, guys. Have some fun adventures. Ruin some rich douchebag’s day for me.”

“Will do,” Parker promised. “Say hi to your dog for me.” She got a thumbs up.

“Let us know how the reboot turns out,” Hardison said. Jamie figured it would probably fuck with the space-time continuum if she downloaded the show and brought it to them, but who knew. Maybe there was some kind of loophole for that, too. They were kind of curious to see what a Leverage show would look like. It probably had kickass fight-scenes.

“Stay safe,” Eliot said seriously. He’d been the most concerned about the talk of the pandemic, probably because you couldn’t punch it.

“Will do,” Inny shrugged. “I mean, 2021 can’t possibly be any worse, right?”

The portal crackled louder, which Jamie hoped wasn’t a sign. The lady was almost at the ceiling. She looked concerned, like she realised she just totally jinxed herself and the new year.

“Hey, just in case you are god,” Jamie called up. “Can you give me superpowers?”

The portal closed to the sound of laughter, and then there was silence. All that remained was a dent in the beanbag and an empty can of Mountain Dew.

“What the fuck,” they told the room at large.

“Yeah, you get used to it,” Parker said, before wandering off back to the blueprints she had been studying.

“I’m just gonna… check some things,” Hardison muttered, making a detour to the kitchen to grab a ginormous bottle of orange soda before getting behind his computer. “And buy a bunch of disinfectant and toilet paper, just in case.”

Eliot rolled his eyes, before bumping his shoulder against Jamie’s. “Come on,” he said.

“Come on where?” Jamie asked. “I’m having a bit of an existential crisis here.” If they were someone’s OC, did that mean that they didn’t have free will? Did it mean that all the cool things they had done the past year had only been because of some weird lady that fell out of the ceiling? Or did it mean-

“I’m gonna teach you to throw a knife so you can take out a zombie,” Eliot said.

Fuck that, the existential crisis could wait until 2am. They had more important things to do. Knife throwing would be fun and useful no matter if there was a zombie apocalypse or a pandemic, or they got superpowers.

#fanfic #self insert month #I wrote a thing #leverage #lets go steal a protege #HardisonxParkerxEliot #I almost didn't post this because of you know the civil war thing in the US #but then I thought wouldn't it be funny if this was pre-january and self insert Inny was just like: well fuck #dear americans I'm sorry #yes Deeks did meet some alpacas it was adorable

[tricky-pockets]

i keep hearing ‘do self-care’

but I don’t like tea, candles, affirmations, being grateful, yoga, sunshine, or going for walks, and journaling turns me into an obsessive Lovecraft protagonist. 

so like,

fuck that specific Pinterest brand of self-care. you know what i’m gonna do?

i’m gonna:

write weird monologues in purple prose at 2am

make charts and databases for things that don’t need them

design weird subversive layouts in Pocket Camp to take pictures of

send letters to my friends that make no fucking sense but they’ll Get It

draw calculus formulas with a fancy brush pen because they look arcane and calligraphy forces me to breathe with intention

lay on the floor

read books about propaganda and fascism (understanding the history of fascism in order to effectively oppose it; not, like...as a fan)

eat a whole pot of buttered fucking bowtie noodles or rice (because the Nice Snacks are stressful; there’s too much pressure to savor them; who knows when I’ll have them again. but NOODLES are cheap and I don’t have to feel bad mowing through a bucket of ‘em)

listen to Panic at the Disco and Foxy Shazam when I’m home alone and sing and strike obscene poses to release the Extra

take my goddamn time about whackin’ off

if I’m drinking tea, it better be with my best friend/eternal flirtation/accomplice while we’re listening to Conor Oberst and talkin’ about girls. 

if i’m lighting candles, it better be for a fucking summoning (or just for fucking). 

if i’m doing affirmations, they’re like “be gay, do crimes, dethrone god, fuck the police; i am a horrible goblin and i vow to make it everyone’s problem”.

#unintelligible goblin noises #self care

[baekchelor]

ａｓｈｏｒｅ[iii]

pairing: bodevan cash x reader genre: Doctor! AU, Romance, Angst summary: After a fall out with your fianceé, and an opportunity to chase your dreams, you embark into a medical mission trip to Namibia where you run into self-taught doctor Bodevan Cash. Love ensues. word count: 3.8k

❝the  sea  beckoned  to  me,  and  all  reality  was  lost —swept  away  in  the entrancing  song  of  the  tide. ❞                                                                                                                ―meredith t. taylor

TWO ｔｗｅｌｖｅ ｄａｙｓ

◄ ｐｒｅｖ

Bodevan's eyes looked like the morning sky every day after the first one you met them. Per diem, Bo's mood was bright as the sun too, although you did notice the tears confined on his bottom lid once ―when he concluded nothing else could be done and called 20:16 as Moharerwa's time of death. Bo summoned you to the OR after practising the caesarean section, as the doctor responsible for keeping Moharerwa's baby alive. Meanwhile, you were transporting the newborn into the incubator, Moharerwa went into cardiac arrest, and despite all his efforts, Bo couldn't keep her alive.

She did, briefly, meet her son, and the few minutes were enough to announce his name was Bodererwa. She thanked Bo and expressed her gratitude by naming her infant with the first two syllables of Bodevan's name.

Baby Bodererwa wasn't the only patient under your care. You treated an Irish girl who suffered from nausea and developed rashes. Rellian (Bo's younger brother) and you bonded over an uncanny case of seizures, muscle weakness and vision loss, you later diagnosed as Tay Sachs Disease. Tjiruru, a Himba man on his forties, came in with an acute case of Hepatitis C. Later, Tjiruru brought his sister, who two weeks ago, at Henties Bay's clinic, was prescribed with azithromycin for bacterial pneumonia. Bodevan figured out the medicine killed pneumonia's bacteria and caused other bacteria (that usually lives in a symbiotic relationship with the body) to produce toxins AKA Tjiruru's sister illness.

On day eight, you met, for the very first time, Danny Dupont. He was from Australia, with Kiwi heritage, and the reason why Bodevan got himself a kind-of-nurse.

Danny was diagnosed with viral cardiomyopathy, which caused his heart to fail. He came to Namibia because he didn't want to spend the rest of his days trapped in a hospital, waiting for a heart transplant. During a Safari across the Skeleton Coast, he fell in love with Peera, his tour-guide. Peera became Danny's reason to live, so he accepted to spend most of his days laying on a hospital bed if it meant he would win more time to enjoy alongside Peera. So she asked Bodevan to train her as a nurse, and Danny requested Bodevan to treat him. Now Bodevan has an Organ Donation Program running on the Himba village so, in case of any death, he can get a heart for Danny.

Today, Peera will host a "western" Birthday Party for Danny. It will be held at the hospital because Danny can't leave his cot, but Reillian will microwave a cake in a mug for him ―he saw the receipt somewhere on Pinterest―, and Bodevan managed to buy a few candles and balloons.

Also today, you're running late for your rounds. Dr Gandy video called early this morning, not to inform you about old patients, but to have breakfast with you. It was 2am for Ethan, but he ate pancakes and orange juice, the same receipt he asked room service to bring to your cabin, with the bacon crisped just like you like it, and with blueberries marmalade instead of syrup. You talked bout your medical experiences in Namibia, and that he will keep the Hamptons' beach house and Harper will have the pent-house in Soho. Ethan also said he misses you like crazy.

Guilt substituted the sugar in your coffee, souring the moment, and making clear that you wish you could say the same to Ethan. And you did, of course, you did, you lied. Truth is, Danny and his heart transplant, Bodererwa and his chances of survival, and every patient you've treated so far, keep your mind busy to the extent that, when you collide on bed, the only thought on your mind is to finally be able to rest.

Or so you tell yourself. Considering that dreamland and the pillow talk with your subconscious revolve around a particular wonderful being named Bodevan Cash.

"Morning!" all smiles, you greet as you walk into the teepee. You've grown to love the place.

"Morning, Intern!" and you've grown to love the nickname he calls you. Bodevan is teaching you about surgery, and yoga, and Hambi language, and about why the globe's entire population should be Maoists.

The boy is erudite. He was homeschooled, and his parents did a hell of a great job. To the point, Bodevan received college acceptance letters from numerous Ivy League schools. "I've got something to show you. Come here."

Bo hands you a pile of old letters. Right away, you know what they are, and you can't help but stare at each of them with your mouth agape.

"Holy Cow," your wide eyes travel to meet his. "Why didn't you go to any of this? Harvard is the best school for medicine out there."

"I never pictured myself as a Doctor," he says, while you check the charts for today patients. "I just wanted to go to college, be a normal guy. But when mom died, well...life has a funny way of trampling dreams, huh?"

"Yeah, it does," you murmur softly. "Sometimes, I just feel as if life controls me, instead of it being the other way around."

Bo looks at you knowingly, but careful of his own words, "Why do I get the feeling you're talking about your marriage?"

"I love Ethan. I'm just... if you've asked me what I wanted to do at my twenties, I would answer joining Doctors Without Borders, not getting married," you answer quietly, surprised at what has just left your lips. Hearing the inner thought that had been plaguing you for the past months being said out loud unnerved you.

"Was he upset about your trip here?" asks Bodevan.

"No. He encouraged me to do it, he even paid the ticket. I guess only because I was upset about him being married before. I know Ethan. He did this to erase the guilt from his system, to try to indulge me," you tell, fiddling with your white coat.

Bo eyes you in surprise, startled, "I-I didn't know he was married."

"He is married. They'll sign the divorce papers in two days. He never really told me, I just found out because his wife made an appearance at the hospital we both work at."

Bo remains silent for a while.

"I'm sorry. I have no idea why I'm telling you all this," you intervene awkwardly, suddenly feeling ashamed. He probably thought you were an idiot for sticking with a man who blatantly lied to your face. And you were likely making it worse by ranting on about your fiancé whom you swore a thousand times before that you were madly in love with.

But Bodevan just smiles. "No, it's alright. It helps to let things out. But if I were you, I'd tell him how I felt. If you're going to be spending the rest of your life with him…"

You sigh. He is right.

"Forget about it. What about you?" you pipe. "Any significant others?"

"N-no," he is all shy again, averting his blue orbs to the floor, as far from you as possible, and stuttering.

"But I assure you, he has ladies lining up for a shot," Peera quickly meddles, grinning. She's grabbing serum and a needle from the cabinets, probably for Danny.

You raise your brow, teasing, "Oh? Even with that 70's hairstyle?"

Peera gasps, clutching her chest dramatically. "I'm offended! I think it looks quite sexy on him, or so I heard..."

You giggle as the girl wiggles her eyebrows, Bodevan flushing red.

"I was kidding. It does," you confess.

"D-Does what?" asks Bodevan.

"Look sexy."

For a second, you don't quite realize what you'd said. But as Bo smirks, a bell goes off in your head. You feel your cheeks burn and you hastily look away from him, embarrassed. What is wrong with you?

You clear your throat, gaze hiding from Bo, "I should start my rounds."

These past few days were what you could only describe as confusing. And you had a feeling the confusion started when you accidentally told your mentor that his eyes looked like the morning sky.

It didn't help that during one of your night shifts, you dozed off on his shoulder, only to wake up sensing the weight of his head resting on top of yours, his breath on your hair, your lips near his neck.

It didn't help that over your clumsy attempts of getting into crow pose, you noticed how lovely his crooked smile was, and how when he chuckled, his eyes crinkled up at the corners.

And it certainly didn't help that you woke up to skies as clear and blue as Bodevan's eyes.

Nevertheless, you kenned something was seriously wrong when Bodevan touches your hand, and you actually feel sparks fly ―although that's medical impossible and you are a doctor, you should know. Or that when he, for some miracle, looks you in the eyes, your heart somersaults ―another impossible medical matter. Or that when he leans in to whisper some of his intellectual jokes that most of the time, you don't understand, goosebumps wash over your skin.

Something is happening, something is definitely happening, you just refuse to admit it to yourself.

At downfall, Peera and Danny urged you out of duty so you could go back to the cabin and get changed. With pleading brown eyes, Peera asked you to wear something special. She's been saving money for a while ―turns out Bodevan not only built a miracle in the middle of nowhere. In like manner, he helps the Hambi to sell handicrafts and jewellery at a souvenir store―, and the past weekend, Rellian drove her all the way to Henties Bay to buy a beautiful emerald dress. Therefore, you stopped by the hotel boutique and used Ethan's credit card to buy a gown made by a fluttering pink fabric.

When one of the hotel vans dropped you off at Bo's clinic, you're welcomed by the melody Bodevan and Danny are crafting through their guitars. They are singing Guns N' Roses' Patience, and although the one with the good voice is Danny, you can't seem to drag your attention away from Bodevan. He is wearing a suave, intricately patterned mustard jacket, buttoned low so that his chest peeks through. You hate that he looks so good in it.

A wide smile spreads across your features as you cheer for both guys once they've strummed their last chords. And then, the smile is stolen away when a tall, leggy blonde [you've never seen before] is suddenly leaning next to Bo, a flirty smirk on her lips. The girl whispers something to his ear, Bodevan goes beet red but nods anyway. To your annoyance, he follows her to the drink station Peera put together ashore.

Bitting down on the inside of your cheek, you watch Bodevan lean close into her, turning on the charms he ignores he posses. You force yourself to turn away, squeezing yous lids shut to get rid of the disappointment that is dawning your heart.

Why the hell are you getting this affected by him? He is your mentor, your peer. You've known him for a grand total of six days. Most importantly, you are engaged.

A hand carefully resting on your shoulder, pulls you off your thoughts. You turn, only to come upon Peera. "Her name is Elise. She's been trying to get in his pants since he fixed her sprained ankle a week ago."

"She hasn't managed," comments Rellian, handing you a red cup filled by what you presume to be wine. Chardonnay. 80's music blasts from the speakers shove over Bodevan's desk, and Rellian offers you a hand, "Do you want to dance?" His voice is bright and warm, and his enthusiasm washes over you. It is challenging to pint-point him as the angry teenager Bo told you about.

"Absolutely," you take his hand easily. "I should warn you, though, I'm not very good."

"That's fine. We'll take it slow." Rellian's grin is so inviting that you can't be worried about your poor dancing skills, so you happily follow him out to the beach. The song is an upbeat one, which suits his mood.

"It seems you've fully recovered from Bodevan breaking your heart a couple minutes ago," he jokes

"It's a shame he didn't do any damage," you shoot back, obviously kidding. "If I was heartbroken, I wouldn't have to dance with you."

Rellian laughs, "I'm glad you're as funny as everyone says you are. I hear you're my brother's favourite, too." It sounds as if it is common knowledge. "And that your engagement is troublesome―"

"I wouldn't call it troublesome," part of you is sick of people saying that. Another part yearned for it to be different, although you know people speak the truth. It is troublesome. Sighing, you confess, "Ethan lied to me. He is married, about to get divorced but married still. We' have been engaged for over a year, and I just found out about it a month ago."

Rellian stops dancing for a moment, shocked at what he's just heard. He quickly picks back up, studying your expression for a moment. "I didn't realize that was what was going on," he says softly, apologetic. "I mean, you know I want my brother to get the girl, but I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Thanks," you shrug. "I feel stupid more than anything."

Rellian pulls you in a little closer, yet keeping a respectful distance. "Trust me, Intern, any man who passes up the chance to be with you is the stupid one."

"Bo just passed me up..." <<Oh my god. What is wrong with you?>>

"That's how I know," he replies, followed by a thread of giggles. On cue, you glance over Rellian's shoulder and find Bodevan dancing with Elise.

Seven glasses of wine have paved their way through your system, Rellian keeps throwing jokes as you swing your figures to the beat of the music, when you hear his voice beside you, "My lady?" Rellian freezes in the spot, a knowing smirk appearing on his features. Complicit glances are exchanged, and finally, you turn on your heels to find yourself face to face, lip to lip, with Bodevan Cash. "May I have this dance?"

That feeling, that indefinable something, courses through you. As dejected as you'd felt, as embarrassed as you'd been, when Bodevan offers that moment, instead of to Elise, you have to take it. Because the song is slow, and it is Guns N' Roses, and the waves are crashing on the shore...And you're drunk.

"Of course."

Bodevan, clearly drunk as well, entwines your hands together and walks you near the seaside, where the water can dance as well, underneath your feet. He doesn't seem uncomfortable, or as if he fancied to dance with someone else rather than with you. On the contrary, Bodevan holds you so close you can smell his cologne and feel his stubble against the skin of your cheek.

"I was wondering if I was going to get a dance at all," you comment, trying to sound playful. Bodevan succeeds to pull you even closer.

"I-I needed to drink up my courage, so my second-thoughts are over. Now I'm brave enough to enjoy the rest of the night with you." This time you can blame it on the alcohol, but as both always do near each other, the two flush furiously. Sometimes Bodevan's words are like single lines of novels or movies. After dating Ethan for so long, it is weird to flirt with a guy that turns beet red on the cheeks, shy to speak bluntly. Ethan does it without an effort, he always speaks his mind, whether to compliment or with the sole purpose to hurt. They are poles apart. In every way possible. Bodevan didn't go to Dartmouth like Ethan did, Bo acquired his vast knowledge out of countless books. Still and all, he is as good a doctor as Ethan Gandy.

You are kneen on different and too stubborn to accept it, but the racing on your pulse betrays you.

"You look lovely, Intern. Much too beautiful to be on the arm of someone like me."

"Someone like you? This has been perfect, Bo."

"Agreed," he giggles. "Let's do this next year. Danny will have a new heart by then."

You look at him. Next year?

"Would you like that?"

"I won't be here next year, Bo..."

He stops dancing. "Why wouldn't you?"

On a dime, it hits him. Thank God, because you don't really want to say out loud the reason why this won't happen next year, at least not with you present, is that you'll leave in a couple weeks, get married and never come back. Despite the words ain’t articulated aloud, you know Bo has heard them, and you know he espies the water welling up in your eyes and how hard you're trying to hide them.

"Intern."  

You gaze down at the wet sand. The water suddenly feels cold.

"Intern, look at me," he says gently. "I'm such a nincompoop. I had just discerned tonight is all we have and I-I misused half of it by dancing with Elise." His voice is hoarse, frustrated. "I thought you felt secure in your standing." What? You are missing something here. Bodevan sighs, not relieved, but hugely nervous. The following words are said as his ocean orbs are settled elsewhere, anywhere, but your face. "Honestly? From the beginning, I've really only looked at you, wanted you." Bodevan manages to meet with your eyes, and his gaze is emotional, and blue and so deep that it overcomes you. So, for a moment, you duck your head. "I'm having a hard time accepting that you will leave... It's fine though, you'd be surprised how infrequently I get what I truly want."

You've treated with patients for years now, you've been trained to tell when they lie, how they're really feeling, find out their buried truths. And you can tell Bodevan is hiding something, some sadness he isn't prepared to share. But he shakes it away and resumes the talking, starting to sway to the music again. "But we have tonight, haven't we?. . ."—Bo looks at your eyes. Unwavering. —"There's only you, and me, and this beach. Tonight."

It takes you a moment to attain the correct rhythm of your breath and heart. You could understand the feeling— that it is unlucky, a kick in the ass from fate. Deep, deep inside you, you feel like that daily as well.

"We do," you whisper into his neck. "We have tonight." His lips are at your ear, kissing your earlobe. The arm resting on his back draws him nearer, and he mimics the action until you're physically closer to each other than you'd ever been.

You jump over a wave, and a chuckle bursts out when you turn around and notice Bodevan chasing you out of the sea. The level of alcohol is higher in your system, and your fancy dress is soaked by saltwater.

Bodevan runs faster, and as you're about to reach the back entrance of the teepee, he reaches for your hand, dragging you against his chest.

Before you can speak, he has you up against the wall, his body covering yours entirely. Bo is breathing heavily, panting, and you're just as breathless, not only because you'd just run like a madwoman. Bodevan's proximity to you and the way you can literally feel his chest rise and fall against you with his unsteady breaths is making your brain melt —even though you know, that is medically impossible too.

“What's wrong—”

He hisses and brings his hand up over your mouth. You halt, your breath stopping as you hear Peera and Danny's grunts and moans and pants.

With a crimson streak across his cheeks, Bodevan shuts his eyes and swears softly, not removing his hand from your mouth. You keep very still, trying to stay calm by breathing in and out through your nose.

"How do we proceed?"

"The hotel van will pick me up soon."

The pants grow fainter, but you're still able to hear Peera moaning Danny's name. You don't want to disturb them, or announce your presence outside, mere meters away from they having sex. This is their special night, and who doesn't enjoy a dose of birthday sex?

Bodevan doesn't let go of you for another 5 minutes. He just stands there like that, his forehead pressed against yours. Only when you are blinded by the lights of the van approaching, he quickly drops his hand.

"Peera and Rellian will take over tomorrow. We both have the day off. So see you M-Monday."

You swallow, "Do you want to come with me? I have wine in my cabin's mini bar—"

"Alright," mutters Bodevan, shaking his head at his very own embarrassment. "I-I would love to."

"Okay."

He smiles.

Breathless. That's how you'll describe your symptoms at this precise period in time. And you had been standing still for the past 15 minutes. 

Why is he making you like this?

You catch his eyes widen in surprise as you grab his hand and lead with to the insides of the van. You greet the driver and set off.

After you’ve reached Shipwreck Lodge, and you fidget with the keys to open your bedroom door, you remember Elise and their shared laughter, their noses almost brushing as they talked, and how Bo dismissed the whole thing. Uncertain about the weird feeling stirring in your stomach, you say, "So you really don't like Elise, huh? She must have been upset to see you running away with me like that..."

Bodevan raises his eyebrows, "Oh, it's no problem at all. I don't care about her. A certain other girl caught my eye, you see. And I can't ignore her. Not when she robs my attention with every small detail."

Your heart hammers in your chest. "Oh. Good for you."

Bodevan shakes his head. "Not really. She's engaged."

You almost believe he will talk further, because of the way he glances at you, his eyes sparkling with things unsaid and his lips parted. Or maybe he is about to kiss you...

But he just drags his stare back to his converse, and you grab two cups and pour white wine, hit play on your Guns N’ Roses playlist and invite him to sit down with you at the edge your mattress.

You aren't sure how long you lay there, talking to him. At some point, your eyes start drooping, as are his, and you fall asleep like that beside him, bodies over the undo bed, feet tangled together, and your hair sprawled across his chest. Without even noticing that at some moment during the night, your engagement ring fell from your finger, leaving it empty.

ｎｅｘｔ►

#sorry for taking longer than usual #IT REALLY IS HARD TO WRIT E BO #ashore #ashore:two #George mackay #George mackay x reader #bodevan cash #captain fantastic #1917

[green-spear-of-causality]

Fsn Cú + Robin Hood Friendship HCs

Met about a week after Robin was summoned to Chaldea

Fsn wanted a midnight snack and found the petty bowman scrounging through the fridge like a trash panda

"Uh...whatcha got there?"

Robin just instantly replied with

"A smoothie."

The references and memes got worse; the two would egg each other on, creating new ones to throw at the other

A personal favorite of Robin's is calling the Weed

"Are those the cops?! I'm callin' the weed!!"

Fsn Cú has said "wig snatched" during particularly stressful situations and his Master never fails to smile at that

They have competitions to see who can yeet a pebble the farthest over a lake

Once in the dead of night, Robin walked the darkened halls of Chaldea only to hear "I SMELL PENNIES" followed by rapid footsteps running after him

(He'll never admit that he was actually scared for a second)

The Meme Duo singing Welcome to the Black Parade and saying "Mood" have become a common sight in Chaldea

Fsn Cú saying "First name Mario, last name Mario, Mario Mario" is what makes Robin actually cackle

Robin found out about Fsn Cú's side hobby due to a slip of the tongue and now acts as a lookout for him in exchange for the sweets that come right out of the oven

One of his favorites is the brownies Fsn Cú bakes; Russian Teacakes (rolled in cinnamon and cooled) are a close second

Robin also keeps one or two extra sweets from his share to give to Proto Cú the following evening

Even though Fsn Cú and Robin don't spar often, they are sent out on missions together due to sharing a single braincell

Fsn Cú's MIA? "He's just grabbing fruit from that tree over there, you know like the slacker he is" or (more commonly) "He's drawing out his fight for his pleasure like a little bitch. Oi, asshole! It's time to go!"

Robin hasn't responded in a while? "I can see the bastard, alright...He's hiding out in the trees. Probably napping on the job" or "He's setting up his fancy traps. He probably fell in one and got his cloak torn, and didn't want you to see his blunder Master."

The last one actually did happen. The other Servants in the party, along with their Master and Mash, could only gape as Robin dropped down from overhead with a red face, grumbling how "he didn't need to point it out to Master, dick" while Fsn Cú just laughed so hard he almost (almost) cried

It's seriously like they have a GPS for each other, which they use to watch each other's backs

Thought the memes were done? As their friendship strengthens, so too do the number of memes

Robin once walked by Fsn Cú, having just woken up, and with tired eyes and a bedhead he muttered "It's the mental breakdown"

He honestly did not expect Fsn Cú to whip out a pair of shades along with a kazoo to play the cringe version of "Final Countdown"

Needless to say it brightened his day considerably

They have codenames for each other

Robin is Green, Fsn Cú is Blue

Originally, they were Eagle One and Eagle Two, but on missions once they called out the codename they were too busy laughing as they tried to figure out who was "It Happened Once In A Dream" or "Been There, Done That" to focus on the fight

So Green and Blue it is

One time Robin was too busy grabbing his sweet reward from Fsn Cú's cooling tray to keep a watch out

Imagine their shock when Counter Guardian Emiya fuckin Shirou walks in and catches them red handed at 2am

"So it was you!"

Nobody moved for .2 seconds

Then, suddenly, Fsn Cú grabbed a bottle of champagne (which was near empty) from the cupboard and slammed it on the ground, the glass shattering as he yelled "SCATTER!!"

Emiya has honestly never seen people yeet themselves so fast from a room before

Robin quickly grabbed some sweets, feeling a sudden rush of adrenaline as he bolted out of the room

Fsn Cú just straight up ghosted

Emiya was dumbstruck for a moment before snapping out of it and hunting them down

Once he was over his shock, Robin was cackling due to the John Mulaney reference

"Scale of one to ten, how pissed is he?"

"Over 9000." Fsn Cú was laughing too so he was gasping for air. Robin did, however, see some red on his face and smirked

"Uh-huh...and you?"

"Can it, Green."

They have always liked to tease each other about the other's love life, which makes for the most epic of clapbacks

"Still trying to court my younger self, I see."

"At least I'm not tiptoeing around him like a maiden in love."

Or

"Is that your idea of flirting with the Red Archer?"

"If you're questioning it, then it must be pretty horrible."

Most importantly, they are each other's wingman (...as well as the wingman of the one the other has a crush on)

Fsn Cú gives advice to his younger counterpart (as well as nudges him in the right direction)

Robin gives offhand advice to Emiya (as well as nudges him in the right direction)

Proto Cú's having trouble asking Robin about going with him to an upcoming festival? Fsn Cú casually brings it up during breakfast and Robin agrees, only to be ghosted by Fsn Cú on the day of with Proto Cú as his replacement

The two are so sickeningly sweet that Fsn Cú is tempted to rejoin them as a third wheel to make things awkward

...Tempted, but not a complete asshole

(He took pictures though, for blackmail purposes. Those two were totally holding hands.)

Emiya still needs to track down Fsn Cú about the Baking Incident and Robin is 100% petty enough to make a casual comment like "oh he'll be eating with me in the mess hall during lunch today. Why?"

So imagine Fsn Cú's surprise when Emiya runs by, lifting him up over his shoulder and running out of the cafeteria in one smooth motion

Robin was speechless before he began to laugh, honestly not expecting Emiya to go and do that

If Thursdays are Cú Nights, then Fridays are Meme Duo Nights

Basically a sleepover in either Robin's Room or Fsn Cú's Room happens

A plethora of things can happen: either they watch compilations of memes, play video games, or have discussions that last them well through the night

Said discussions are god tier stupid shit

"What do you mean, Mothman's real?!"

"But have you seen any evidence that he isn't?"

"...I am sleeping with my spear near me tonight."

"If you kidnap a child from a kidnapper, does the number of kidnappers in the world increase?"

"Isn't that like the whole "if you kill a killer, does the number of killers in the world stay the same"? But also what the fuck, Blue"

Overall, shenanigans galore with this friendship

The world just might be doomed if these two are the only ones left to save it

#long post #wow this is long #fgo robin hood #fgo cu chulainn #fgo emiya #fgo proto cu #proto cu #prototype cu chulainn #lancer cu chulainn #fate/grand order #fate go #fate grand order #fgo #fgo headcanons #fgo thoughts #fsn cu #fsn cú and robin are meme lords #the world better watch out #heroic spirit emiya #they are honestly good bros tho #Bros stick together #tw swearing #there's some yariyumi and/or yumiyari afoot #yariyumi #and yes i slipped in some yumiyari because i could #yumiyari #proto x robin #i need a proper tag/ship name for them #john mulaney references strike again #fsn ubw abridged references too