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#that my hurt and reactions were valid
asteria-argo · 2 months
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correct me if I'm wrong but I was just thinking about the roykeeley in season two of it all, and that fight where Keeley loses it at Roy for being clingy because she can't handle how close they are now that they work in the same building but like,,, Keeley and Roy would have been working in the same building while dating for a good chunk of season one as well.
She started working at Nelson Road before Jamie was even sent back to Manchester. They would of had months working in the same building, so either Roy has always been that clingy and Keeley just didn't mind at first, which I found doubtful given that it only takes her like a week to blow up at him for it in season two, or Roy being clingy is an out of character thing for him to be doing that should've raised some kind of red flag to friends and loved ones that I feel like from what we know about Keeley as a character would've been treated with more empathy than she actually had in the show.
#i'm going off of memory so this might not be anything#but wasn't one of her complaints that he sat quietly in her office reading when they were on break?#girl how is that being clingy and not just regular levels of wanting to spend time with your partner?#I stand by that Roy wasn't in the wrong for that#I actually stand by Roy not being in the wrong for MOST of his relationship with Keeley#I don't even think he was wrong for breaking up with her#I will not ever view breaking off a relationship you aren't happy in as selfish#and I don't care how much the show tries to make me view him as selfish for it or like he threw something good away#no he didn't#just because Keeley was hurt by being broken up with (understandable reaction) does not mean Roy did the wrong thing by breaking up with he#he looked at the way their relationship was going and saw that he wouldn't be happy if he stayed so he left#and the show tried to frame that as a bad thing#“maybe i should've just stuck around and enjoyed it”#no sir that's not how these things work#staying in a failing relationship just because you don't want to be alone isn't healthy you did the right thing#your career and your love life aren't metaphors for each other#and let me be clear Roy and Keeley were 100% a failing relationship right from the start of season 2 with the fight that inspired this post#keeley's feelings about the breakup aren't more valid then Roy's just because she's the hurt party#and they clearly broke up amicably if Keeley is willing to sit down and tell Phoebe about it with him#she wasn't jilted or wronged in any way and the show framing it like that grinds my fucking gears
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pepprs · 1 year
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mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i literally can’t quit omg i feel so fucking bad. it wasn’t so bad this time but also HE LITERALLY FORCED ME TO COME OUT LKKE GIRL HELLO????#he cornered me and asked me if redacted had to do w my s*duality and i was like ummmmm. yeah 🫣 and he was like now why didn’t you say that t#the first time 🤨 and i was like …………. 😳. AND THEN i asked him why he asked me that and he said he’s been waiting for the right moment to get#it out of me and he always suspected it LIKE HELLO I THINK THAT IS POSSIBLY WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE I WANTED TO DIEEEEEE#and i lied right to his face abt stuff w my mom and also the redacted situation bc i always feel in trouble whenever i talk abt them w him#and also he asked how things were w my mom and i told him and he was like that’s great but how are things with YOU and yoir mom 🤨. UGHHHHH#and i can’t leave bc his supervisor is gravely ill and they haven’t talked abt doing inter generational therapy w me yet which is what they#want to do <- hasn’t looked it up yet and doesn’t know what it receals about me. and he also is like yet agai. trying to get me to separate#myself from data expunged AND ITS LIKE OMGGGG NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHY DO I HAVE TO THROW AWAY A GOOD THING THAT IS WORKING FOR ME JUST FOR#THE SAKE OF CONFORMING TO SOME STUOID MENTAL HEALJT STANDARD. so yeah ummmmm idk what to dooooo i know im not getting the best possible care#and this whole thing has been a cluster fuck but he validated my reaction to something for the first time like EVER today and he has plans a#and what if they work. and like omg if i drop it on him he’ll be so hurt and surprised like it will really come out of nowhere and i don’t w#want to look like even more of a fool to him than iam. but he says i can’t withhold stuff bc it’s doing me a disservice and we need to see t#the fullness of who i am to get to the root and solve problems and stuff but it’s like uhmmmm… but you don’t make me feel safe for reacting#the way i do or wanting things to work out in a way you disagree with so how can i bring out all the parts of me if you don’t make me feel a#safe and unjudged for doing so like. lol. the thought of leaving him makes me feel so guilty and stupid bc it s like why are you throwing aw#away sliding scale therapy that could turn out to be really useful and running away when ppl tell you things abt yourself you don’t like to#admit and force you to look at your hard ugly truths. but also the thought of working w him until july after already having had 16 weeks of#this literaly makes me fucking insane so idk what to do and finding a new counselor would be so hard and i don’t have time or money. UGHHHH!#purrs#delete later#like how am i gonna walk out on him when we just spent all this time talking abt how this new technique will bring me into a new season. AUG
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arklay · 1 year
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Your anger and sadness are so fucking justified. Stealing someone's oc is ridiculous. There's NO need to do that! You don't even need that much creativity to make your own, and if you're really stuck (like I get sometimes) just look towards canon characters or blogs dedicated to help building ocs. What's worse is tumblr's blocking system because, unless you block them on anon, it simply blocks their blog. They can log out and still view your blog! God I'm so sorry that this happened.
thank you 😭😭 i'm like so just horrifically angry right now that idk if i'm overreacting or if i was seeing things that weren't there, but no, the more i look and the more i match up the timeline of posts, it becomes extremely apparent to me that their oc is a copy of diana, and that really really hurts. and yes, i've cried a lot about it, because i talk about her so often and how much she means to me and how much just creative energy she gave me this year and the fact that i even write consistently now, so it hurts. i put a lot into her, so it's just really unfair, and like you said, blocking people on here is like hardly even effective
#asks.#anonymous#thank you for like validating my anger because i often feel a lot of guilt with my reactions and um idk like i feel like i am not allowed#to get angry in the first place because of like imposter syndrome and all that nonsense. but i just kept seeing things from that oc's story#and not just backstory but little facts or what were throw away comments and it just... everything. i could connect to diana. and the#colour scheme is similar too and the heights and the timeline and the little things about like ex-husband. working at nest. close to the#birkins. saw al as an annoyance at the start lmao like there's so much i could connect. and now seeing that their oc also injected themself#with a virus on a whim which i've talked about many times with diana doing and that he got very overprotective and worried afterwards with#it. like. all these things in isolation. fine. whatever. but when they all add up... it's ridiculous. like i'm just so hurt because i#constantly talk about how special diana is to me and how special they both are to me and i don't know what to do because i don't feel the#need to reach out and like accuse directly but it's like. they get away with that. and my ideas. and my character who has been around since#feb. i made her on valentine's day. i'm not even joking. so. i didn't post about her until early march. well i did but that's the earliest#in her tags because i delete posts a lot. went and looked at my oc blog and no there are still things from feb. but on here the earliest is#march. i'm just not doing great with it all i suppose. especially because i had something happen last week that made me really upset and i#was just getting back into like okay i'll post on here more often. and then i notice this and idk i'm rambling but i just feel really sick#like the realisation sunk in and i felt sick to my stomach so it hurts#but um thank you for saying all of this like it does mean a lot to me to know that my reaction is justified so thank you
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buginateacup · 1 year
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stedebonnit · 1 year
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I just got a noise complaint. For "loud talking". Which only could have been from me talking ON THE PHONE with someone because I LITERALLY LIVE ALONE AND HAVENT HAD ANYONE OVER IN OVER A MONTH.
And im pretty sure its from a particular phone call with my friend one night at the horrid deadly late hour of 11pm, and it was because I couldnt sleep and wanted some fucking emotional support, and halfway through the call i laughed at something and heard someone knocking on my wall.
Like i know im probably more angry about this than normal because my depression is making me irritable but it honestly just really pisses me off because it feels so fucking isolating to tell someone who LIVES ALONE to fucking WHISPER on the phone inside of my own apartment. Like. Im not screaming, its not 4am. I get that people go to bed early but i also live downtown and you can ALWAYS hear noises from the streets, and people have talked waaay louder than me in the halls before and Ive never complained. And it bothers me too because like Im barely even home. I work 3 jobs plus school right now. I have 3 days a week where im out of the house between 7am and 9pm, and yet im still getting complaints about TALKING in my own apartment. The letter (from my landlord, mind you, so it was an "official" noise complaint that they went to my LANDLORD about) literally said "loud talking". Not yelling. Not screaming. Loud talking.
In my own home. At 11pm.
Im tired, man. I dont have the energy for this shit. Like maybe get some earplugs if my speaking bothers you too much.
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ao3commentoftheday · 6 months
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any advice about how to deal with posting a fic and getting radio silence? I know ppl aren’t owed engagement ofc, but I feel embarrassed at having spent so long on something no one cares about, and although I liked thinking about the characters and fandom before (and was considering writing more about them), now I can’t think about it without feeling that overpowering embarrassment 😭 part of me wants to delete the fic, but that would mean having to open ao3 and look at it again LMAO
sorry for the venting, I know this is probably a me problem, but has anyone else felt this, and if so, is there any way to make this pervasive shame go away??
*hugs* This is a very painful thing to experience and there isn't really any way to make it just go away, unfortunately. However, you can reflect on it a bit, when you're ready to.
Writing and posting are separate activities. If you've enjoyed writing the story but you haven't enjoyed posting it to the Archive, you can always continue writing just for yourself. This may or may not be something you'd enjoy - you know better than I do whether some of your enjoyment came from the anticipation of a reaction to your work.
Try to analyze where your embarrassment is coming from. Is it worrying that your story was poorly written? A lack of a reaction doesn't mean that the story is bad. Being unpopular doesn't mean it's bad, either. If your story is good to you, then it's a good story.
Is your embarrassment from feeling like you were "caught trying." Is it a cringe at the idea that you put effort into something that someone else doesn't (appear to) find valuable?
Is it actually embarrassment at all? Are you feeling a different kind of hurt instead? Did you hope that someone in particular would read your story and now you feel ignored? Did you hope to be embraced by your community and now you feel shunned?
These are difficult questions that I'm asking and you might not want to think about them right now. That's okay. You don't need to if you don't want to. You can definitely delete the fic and pretend it never happened. Or you can log out of that AO3 account and create a new one and never look back. Maybe you just need to take a week or a month off for a hiatus of sorts and when the ache isn't as bad, you'll be able to face it all again.
When I felt this way, it was because I felt like I'd put something into my community and that I'd been ignored. But since that time, I've found one person who gives me all of the community support I used to get from an entire fandom, and now when I post something on AO3 I don't actually need a response anymore. I get all of the fun and excitement and validation etc from my conversations and RP threads with my best friend.
Once you've got a little distance from the pain of this moment, try to figure out what it is that you were hoping to get and then figure out how you can get it. Maybe it's through posting fic to AO3, but maybe it's not.
Let's see what others can suggest. This is not something you're experiencing alone, anon. So very many of your fellow fan writers have experienced this too ❤️
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hannya-writes · 4 months
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When they call you their wife (Genshin Impact Version)
Fandom: Genshin Impact Pairing: Kaeya x reader, Diluc x Reader, Zhongli x Reader, Xiao x Reader Other characters: ehh, I think I mentiones Traveler in Zhongli's part, Diluc is also mentioned in Kaeya's part Category: Romance, scenarios Warnings: There's a little bit of violence in Xiao's part but it's not detailed. I think that's it! Author's note: It's ten days since the beggining of the year, happy new year people! Sorry about the delay, I'm terrible with time so... yeah there's that better late than sorry! Hope you enjoy~
Kaeya
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“And this beautiful lady is my dear wife”
This man lives to see people's reactions to what he does and says. So he bets to himself what your reaction will be to every of his crazy ideas, so maybe he teases you a lot and flirts with you shamelessly.
He went to Sumeru to represent Jean since she was very occupied. You, on your part,were assigned to protect him since he was an important diplomat of Mondstadt.
You tried to be as professional as possible but it was hard when Kaeya found every opportunity to flirt with you.
Kaeya is a gentleman around you, treating you like his date rather than his guard.
So he makes you relax, he makes you laugh with his comments. When he hears you were assigned because of your dexterity with the sword he gets interested in your story.
Where did you learn to fight? When did you start? Who was your master? You went to the akademya? You were a Mat, Matra? 
Kaeya gets really invested so you decide to answer his questions only if he answers them too.
And Kaeya is happy to reveal all of his stories and secrets to know you because you are not like most people, you don't get frightened when he says he once woke up a ruin guardian to win a fight.
“It a valid gamble” you say while nodding and Kaeya’s eyes bright like he just heard the most beautiful music of all Teyvat.
When Kaeya finally has to go back to Mondstadt you are informed that you will have the mission to bring him back to the capital of Wind safe and sound.
It was a long and tiring trip, you had to defend yourself and him more than once and Kaeya was more than happy to fight by your side.
There was only one problem in the last part of your journey: a Samachurl Froze your ankle and while you were able to kill it the frostbite was a problem.
Kaeya, ever the gentleman carried you to a safe place, the house of his childhood: Dawn’s Winery
He knocked at the door and was faced with a surprised Adeline, who hurried to get everything needed to help you.
Maybe an hour later Kaeya’s brother appeared and explained your situation, only that he presented you as his wife.
Diluc was taken aback when Kaeya presented you as his wife. He looked at his brother with a specially deep frown, making Kaeya say: “It was love at first drink”
There are three options: one were Diluc apologizes…
 “My apologize, it seems my brother hurt his head and is speaking nonsense”
Another option is if you are someone who is honest and you react nervously, denying his statement, Kaeya will laugh and tells you, in a joking tone, that you don't have to get shy, this is his brother!
The last option is if you act all composed, there's a chance that Diluc will smile and sarcastically play along, as you two chat, ignoring Kaeya who will definitely get touchy at the lack of attention.
If you laugh and play along with him, he will most definitely hug you by the waist and start calling you his wife for every goddamn reason he can think of.
“My wife would like a glass of water” “I can't give that to my wife” “Diluc, she is my wife be polite” Now Kaeya can't stop calling you his wife.
Diluc
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“Carefull now, Mr.client, That's my wife you are talking about”
Diluc won't call you his wife if it's not true, so you are married to the Dark knight hero, the thing is: Almost no one knows about you two because Diluc doesn't want to put you in danger.
You two met at the Angel's Share. You were a knight of favonius, he was bartending.
You had gone there to celebrate someone's birthday, only that unlike the rest you didn't ask for an alcoholic beverage, you asked for apple cider.
While everyone got plastered you chatted the night away with Diluc.
Let me tell you, Diluc was happy to talk to someone who wasn't complaining about his life nor was drunk. It was one of the best nights of his life.
So maybe, when you forgot your vision on the bar to go help one of your friends, he didn't say anything, wanting to have a reason to look for you.
Oh, and he looked for you the next day!
Everyone was shitting their pants when they saw Diluc entering the headquarters. Everyone was wondering what he was doing there, if there was a crisis, if… wait, why was he talking to you?
Diluc gave back your vision and since that moment he found the way to get involved with you.
That being said, he proposed after two years of knowing you and the wedding was at the Dawn Winery and was very, very small.
Persons who where at the wedding: Kaeya, Jean, Lisa and Adelinde, besides the nun who officiated the wedding. (I said it was a small wedding!)
I mean, being Mrs. Ragvindir would put you up in the list of people to kidnap in Monstadt, not because of the dark knight hero thing, no, no, no. It's because of the mora.
He only calls you his wife because he has to instill fear in the bones of the man who dared to speak about you
What did the man said? “That Y/n, she has such a pretty ass, have you seen it?... Come on! She looks like such a slut with that skimpy clothes, I would love to spank…”
And Diluc is not going to let anyone talk about his wife, like that in his own bar.
Yes maybe you are a Favonius’ knight and yes it's true your ass is pretty, especially when you use shorts… but no one is allowed to talk about you like that, like you are nothing but an object.
Okay, maybe he can but only when he's alone with you in the middle of some dirty session of love making.
When he say those words, he’s totally saying them to scare the shit out of whoever dared to be disrespectful to you. Because, a menace from him is something to fear, he was the youngest calvary captainof the knights. He was a master swordman.
Diluc knows you can defend yourself, you probably will kick this drunkard ass, but he prefers to instill fear in people than have you getting in trouble with Jean.
Don't get mad at Diluc, he’s a bit overprotective of you because he loves you.
The man suddenly sobers up as soon as his ears registered Diluc words. He looks ashamed and regretful of his choice of words, he offers an apology and leave because it's so damn late!
As soon as Diluc sees you back home, he can't avoid looking at you with adoration only to confess his slip up the moment you two are having dinner.
The only thing you can say is: “It's about time everyone knows”
Zhongli
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“Oh, Y/n is my wife, didn't I mentioned it?”
He was 3,000 years old when he met you. You were the prettiest living being he had ever seen. 
A minor Goddess with strong wings that adorned your back. A Goddess enslaved to be a gift to the lord of vortex, send heavily guarded in a caravan that happened to pass near the Guili plains thanks to an accidental detour
You were the goddess of Song and the Dawn, the bringer of peace after a nightmare.
Zhongli could forget even his own name but he would never forget your panicked expression when your eyes landed on him.
He was so damn tall, intimidating and serious that you had thought the Dragon wanted to keep you for himself.
However, Morax had opened the cage and told you in a stern and cold voice that you were free.
You were so afraid that you didn't step out until he got away from you. Then you flew away in the form of a bright and colorful bird.
 You didn't plan to go back to where he was but curiosity got the best of you, so you went back and watched Morax in silence from the distance.
The Adepti tried to scare you away unsure of how to deal with you stalking the prime Adepti. However, you didn't budge. Everyday you appeared in your bird form to sing to Morax and wake him up.
Slowly the adepti accepted your presence, they even started to try and get you to stay a little bit more since Morax started asking about the bird he has been hearing.
Morax one day woke up earlier only to tell you that you could stay for breakfast and since that moment you two started to eat together.
You were grateful to him and looked for forms to let him know, from giving him flowers, act as his messenger to the Yaksha and even sing for him. He had saved you from being a concubine of Osial, there was too much to be grateful.
Between this acts of devotion, Morax started to pay more and more attention to you and even when he didn’t understand his feelings he knew one thing: He wanted to keep you close and keep you safe.
Thousands of years were needed but you two ended up getting married.
Now, in all of this more than 3,000 years of Marriage he has called you Wife, but I really like this time when he forgot to introduce you as his wife because for him is common knowledge. Everyone knows Rex Lapis is married to the goddess of Song and Dawn. Everyone who is important to him knows you.
Those being, the adepti..
But the traveler saw you two eating together one afternoon. And they saw you walking together by the bay while holding hands. Another day he saw you clinging to Zhongli’s arm while he seemed to be explaining something to you.
They assumed you two were dating. They even got to speak to you for a commission, something about a ring made of noctiluose jade.
So Traveler being a little rascal started talking about you with Zhongli and he seemed to be happy to talk about you. 
“When are you gonna ask her to marry you?” Traveler asks mischievously and Zhongli laughs and say the phrase. 
The travelers gets all surprised but then asks how did that happened and Zhongli is proud to explain how he managed to ask for your hand.
Next time traveler meets you, they notice the ring around your finger.
However, they notice thewhole ring is made of Cor lapis.
As you notice their curious gaze you tell him the story about how Rex lapis made Cor lapis only to propose to you.
Which makes sense since Cor lapis literally means “Heart of stone”
Xiao
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“Get your hands away from my wife!”
Xiao is not a man of many words, he’s terrible at expressing his feelings to everyone.
And I mean everyone, even with you. 
However, you should know that he will never call you his wife if he isn't married to you.
This is because he once heard Zhongli telling something along the lines of: “Marriage is the most sacred of contracts”
Now listed, you two met because of Zhongli/Morax. You were the first minor Goddess who relinquished your divinity to Morax and was left almost with no power, so Morax asked Xiao to take care of you.
And Xiao, being the obedient Yaksha he is, took care of you during the Archon War, and maybe that’s why you survived to such massacre.
As I have stated before, Xiao is bad with his feelings but it is good that you can basically read his emotions.
Your love story was a very, agonizingly slow burn, however when Xiao understood that you were never going to leave him, that you loved him and there was no way to change that, only then he gave up trying to get away from you… and he asked you to marry him.
For hundreds of years, Xiao called you his wife only when you two were alone. For him it was a term of endearment.
“Wife” oh, he says it with such softness and love, it makes you fall for him again! You don’t even mind that your marriage is practically a secret.
But there’s always a first time for everything. And the first time he called you his wife in public… It was something else. It wasn’t something born from his love and devotion, it was a warning.
For what felt like years he had endured listening to men flirt with you in Wangshu Inn. Every god damn male seemed to have the goal of stealing you from him. There were some female humans trying to catch your attention, but they were more subtle, smarter.
There was a man who pretended to be interested in your life as an adventurer, asking questions all the time.There was another who tried to catch your attention with food. There was a woman who wanted to take pictures of you and always told you, you were perfect. The worst one, was the one who tried to teach you martial arts.
You only accepted out of pure pressure, since he insisted so much. You were already an excellent fighter, only that you used a weapon of your choice.
The worst part was that he always corrected you, pressing his palm in your abdomen or your lower back.
Xiao usually didn’t pay attention since he didn’t felt jealous, he only peaked since you were making that little sound of annoyance you always did. That small “mhhh” 
When he saw that man putting his hands on your hips to “correct” your already perfect posture, he just lost it.
It wasn’t just his anger and frustration, that was his karmic debt taking control. In a second Primordial Jade Winged-Spear was in his hands and he attacked blindly. 
The man let go of you and tried to be a hero, only to be hit and cut by Xiao. Let’s be sincere, if it weren’t for you the “martial art master” would be dead, because Xiao is extremely strong.
Anyway, you fought your dear husband and pinned him to the ground until he calmed down. The “martial art master” ran away half beaten, forgetting about you.
Let’s just say, no one has flirted with you since that day. 
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bbyleiah · 8 months
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smoke you out.
| just a random cheating fic I wrote about Eren stealing Connie’s girl 🫣 |
Cw: smut, cheating, bf!Connie, lots of dirty talk (eren has a filthy mouth 🫦) dry humping, riding, biting, sorta mating press, unprotected sex, cream pie, squirting, tummy bulge, hair pulling, scratching, fluids, pet names, etc. fem! shy sub reader & dom!Eren. (pretty good amount of plot though ☝🏽) (also it may not seem like it but the reader is def black 😭)
word count : long asf 😭
sn : I don’t know a single thing abt smoking fr so my apologies if the lingo is inaccurate 😭
part 2 🤩 : breakfast <3
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You tripped over your little feet as you tried to keep up with your boyfriend Connie. He didn’t pay you any mind at all as he dapped up his friends at this house party gathering. Your feet were starting to hurt in your cute Mary Jane shoes. As you tripped, Eren caught your arm before you could embarrassingly fall on your face.
You sheepishly looked up at the tall, clearly high male. “sorry..” You muttered softly. “You’re good, little one.” Eren hummed as he let you go. You blushed and scurried off, finding your boyfriend again. He was finally not moving anymore, sitting in the kitchen with all his homies, smoking and drinking.
You honestly hated when he dragged you to these parties because it really wasn’t your kind of environment, and it wasn’t like he stayed by your side or made you feel welcome at these gatherings. Honestly, sometimes it seemed like Connie could care less about you with the way he ignored you and constantly forgot about you. But it was also confusing because he was super overprotective and possessive of you at times.
You were just his obedient pretty little girlfriend that followed him around but that role was getting tiring. despite disliking these parties, all of Connie’s friends always made you feel safe and welcomed so it wasn’t too bad. You stood quietly beside Connie, drinking water and fanning second hand smoke away from your face as he enjoyed his time with his friends.
His friends acknowledged you occasionally which was nice, but everytime you tried to talk to Connie he’d dismiss you or give half ass replies. You sighed and gave up eventually until you had to use the restroom. “Con, can you walk me to the bathroom please?” You asked him sweetly as you tugged on his sleeve. “Eh, why can’t you go by yourself princess?” He asked as he directed his attention towards you.
“Because I feel uncomfortable going alone with all these people I don’t know..” You told him, you felt like your stance was valid. Connie sighed, “I get that but you should be fine baby, everyone knows you’re my girl so I doubt they’ll bother you.” Connie said as he took another hit from his blunt. You pouted, “But..” you started but Eren interjected. “I’ll walk with her.” He offered.
“Look at that sweetheart, you got yourself a volunteer. Thanks bro.” Connie chuckled. You huffed softly and rolled your eyes at Connie’s nonchalant attitude, you honestly would rather just walk alone at this point. But you made your way through the crowd of people with Eren and up the stairs.
“thank you for walking with me even though you didn’t have to.” You said gratefully to Eren with a sigh, sulking a bit still over Connie and his lack of care for you. “No problem. I know Connie can be a dickhead sometimes.” Eren shrugged honestly. Your eyes widened at his words as you stared up at him. Eren chuckled at your reaction, “What? he’s my bestfriend. I can freely insult him. Just as he’d do to me. It’s all love you know?” Eren chuckled.
“I guess..I’d never insult Connie though. He’s a great boyfriend even though he has his faults.” You defended, Eren snorted in amusement. “Whatever makes your pretty head feel better.” He shrugged. You used the restroom and to your surprise Eren waited outside the door for you the whole time. “I-..you didn’t have to wait for me.” You stammered. “What’s the point of walking you if I don’t wait on you also?. I don’t mind it.” He said.
He had a point to be fair. “true..thanks again though.” You said. As you two began to walk again, you stumbled once more, these shoes were really starting to be your enemy. “You okay?” Eren asked you. “Yeah, these shoes are just a little uncomfortable.” You sighed as you tried to adjust the shoes.
Eren observed you before he suddenly picked you up, you yelped in shock, eyes going wide as you hit Eren’s shoulder. “Eren! What are you doing?!” You exclaimed. “Relax, I’m just tryna help” He said as he carried you back into the bathroom. He sat you down on the countertop and sat down in front of you before grabbing your foot gently.
He slipped off your shoe and that’s when you saw the bleeding bruise on the back on your heel. “Oh..” you mumbled. “You didn’t notice this until now? Wasn’t it painful?” Eren asked as he looked up at you. “It was..but I didn’t think it was that bad.” You muttered honestly. Eren sighed, “You should be more careful, or buy more comfortable shoes.” Eren said as he began to clean the blood. You hissed at the sting and kicked Eren by accident, he didn’t budge though, focused on treating you.
This was such an odd predicament you were in. Eren had paid more attention to you in a few minutes than your boyfriend did in months. You didn’t know why Eren was being so caring to you but you were soaking it up since you lacked it lately. “I would’ve worn my comfy shoes if I knew I was gonna be chasing Connie around again..” You muttered with a sigh.
Eren didn’t comment on that. You just observed Eren as he treated both of your heels. You never noticed his full appearance until now, his low bun with loose hairs framing his face, his low red eyes and sculpted nose, his black sweats and black tee combo with a small chain, the small studs in his ears. Eren was gorgeous to say the least. “Don’t look at me like that or I’ll do something bad and you’ll regret it more than me little one.” Eren said as he gently placed some bandaids he’d found on your bruises.
You were caught off guard by his words, starting to blush. “I-I didn’t mean to stare so much..I’m sorry.” You said as you hid your face in your hands out of embarrassment. Eren chuckled and pulled your hands away, “It’s okay sweetheart, you don’t have to apologize to me. I don’t mind you staring, but I meant what I said. I don’t have much self control.” Eren hummed as he stared into your eyes, his hand caressing your calf making you squirm a little.
“I uhm..” You truly didn’t know how to respond, chewing on your lip as you struggled to find words. Something about Eren’s vague words and the way he looked at you made you feel weird, the energy didn’t seem appropriate. “We should get back with the others.” You managed to say. Eren chuckled, “You’re right…or we could ditch them and hang out? I prefer smoking privately anyways. I could smoke you out real good too.” Eren suggested with a sly grin.
You stared at Eren in shock again, “Connie would kill me! Also I don’t smoke much.” You blurted. “He’s not even worried about you. plus you’re with me, his bestfriend and he trusts me. You seem like you have a low tolerance so I can still smoke you out even if you don’t smoke much” Eren hummed.
You chewed on your lip again as you pondered wether to accept Eren’s offer. Everything he said was right, and you knew Connie wasn’t looking for you or even thinking about you at the moment. You also knew that you’d be miserable following Connie around more. “okay, I’ll go with you. but let Connie know, I don’t want him thinking anything weird.” You said.
Eren subtly rolled his eyes, “sure, I’ll inform your master” Eren teased. “Hey! He’s not my master!” You huffed with a pout. Eren laughed, “You follow him like a little puppy though. You know I should start calling you pup, has a nice ring to it.” Eren only teased more, laughing harder when you kicked him this time on purpose. “I’m just loyal to my boyfriend.” You muttered with another huff as you crossed your arms.
“I get it. I’ll stop teasing. Let’s go little one.” Eren chuckled as he helped you down from the countertop. You slipped your shoes back on and then you and Eren left and made your way to his car. Eren wasn’t planning on informing Connie of shit, he felt like it was none of Connie’s business what you two were up to, to be honest.
He only told a small lie so he didn’t feel too bad about it. Once y’all got into his black vintage mustang, Eren turned on the radio, rnb starting to play lowly in the background as Eren began to roll up. “You smoke papers sweetheart?” Eren asked as he grinded his weed. You stared at him completely clueless, “…I don’t know, what’s papers? I just smoke whatever Connie gives me.” You said honestly.
Eren chuckled, “These are papers, they’re white. They aren’t brown like rellos. I smoke joints, not blunts. Although I don’t mind either. Also don’t say no shit like that ever again, don’t just smoke whatever is given to you. Make sure it’s safe first and that you know exactly what it is.” Eren said seriously suddenly. You pouted, feeling like you just got scolded a little. “I trust Connie though..but I get what you mean. I’ll take your advice.” You said, understanding his point.
“Good Girl. You can watch me and see exactly what you’ll be smoking and all the steps.” Eren hummed. Your brain short-circuited a bit at the sudden praise, hearing Eren say that felt nice..really nice and it made you want to hear it more. Those feelings felt wrong though so you pushed them away. You watched Eren closely as he rolled up; placing the grinded weed into the papers, setting it straight and then running his tongue along the seams before closing the joint.
You unconsciously clenched your thighs seeing Eren lick the joint, you didn’t know why a sight you’d seen many times suddenly seemed so attractive. “You have a tongue piercing?!” You blurted after spotting the little ball. Eren chuckled, “I do, got it a few years back. You must’ve been paying real close attention to notice that” Eren teased a little.
“I wasn’t looking that hard!” You defended yourself as you blushed slightly. Eren laughed, “You’re so damn cute, fuck.” Eren said while shaking his head as he laughed. Your eyes went wide at that comment, now blushing a lot. It was extremely flattering hearing that from someone as attractive as Eren and it made you shy.
You composed yourself though, trying to act as if the small compliment didn’t effect you as much as it did. “Did it hurt when you got it?” You asked him out of curiosity, going back on topic. You watched as Eren placed the joint between his lips, lighting it with his lighter, the flame casting a glow on his face and highlighting his features.
He inhaled, holding it for a few seconds before he exhaled with his head tilted back and his eyes closed. It was honestly the most mouthwatering sight you’d ever witnessed. Suddenly you had zero thoughts, just solely focused on Eren. “Mhm, it hurt but mostly during the healing process. I like pain though so I didn’t mind it.” Eren hummed.
His words broke you out of your sudden trance. “You like pain? That’s weird.” You said, not fully understanding how someone could enjoy pain. Eren chuckled, “Eh, it feels good. To me at least.” He said as he handed the joint to you. You tried to take a hit, immediately going into an embarrassing coughing fit. “That’s not how you do it sweetheart, you’re too harsh with it, relax I’ll help you.” Eren laughed softly.
Eren then grabbed the joint from your hands and held it up to your mouth. “Open.” He instructed, humming in approval once you listened. He gently placed the joint between your lips, holding it there. “Close and inhale slowly.” He continued. The two of you stared into each other’s eyes as Eren guided you step by step. This wasn’t your first time smoking at all but you liked how attentive Eren was, you couldn’t get enough of it.
“Hold it.” Eren hummed as he pulled the joint from between your lips. “Now exhale slowly.” He said, pressing his fingers into your slightly puffed out cheeks as you obediently exhaled the smoke into his face. “Good girl, such a good listener.” Eren praised again with a small grin as he gently stroked your chin, underneath your bottom lip.
You almost let out a whine at that, Eren’s words and his presence was starting to affect you more and more by the hour. You were trying your best to ignore it but you wanted him so badly that it was getting hard to contain. “What did I say about looking at me like that?. Little one..it’s like you’re trying to tempt me.” Eren said, his eyes low and holding a look that seemed as if he wanted to tear you apart.
Truth be told, Eren always wanted you. He always had his eye on you ever since Connie brought you around. He knew that he paid more attention to you than Connie ever did and that he could treat you better. But you were always glued to Connie so Eren never made any moves. He knew it was kinda fucked up to be interested in his bestfriend’s girl but he couldn’t care less. He was no better than Connie to be honest.
“I-I’m not! I don’t mean to look at you like that..I don’t even know how I’m looking at you.” You fumbled over your words as you blushed brightly. “You’re looking at me as if you want me to fuck the shit out of you. Is that what you want sweetheart? Want to feel me in your tummy?” Eren said, continuing to smoke nonchalantly as he stared at you. You whined at his lewd words, your thighs squeezing together.
“Don’t talk like that! that’s inappropriate, and I’m with Connie.” You exclaimed. Eren rolled his eyes, “I don’t need the reminder, I know that. You say it’s inappropriate but you’re clenching your thighs and whining like a slut at the thought of me inside you. You want it so badly, don’t you?. Want me to stuff your little cunt?” Eren teased.
You let out another whine, you were honestly so wet by now at his words. You felt so ashamed that you wanted another man, especially the man that was closest to your boyfriend. “eren…we can’t..” you muttered, tears filling your eyes as you pouted up at him. “shh, it’s okay little one. don’t think about Connie just for a minute and answer me. Do you want me?” Eren asked as he cupped your face gently.
You chewed on your lip as you nodded honestly in response. “Use your words for me baby.” Eren hummed as he lightly pulled at your bottom lip with his thumb. You let out a shaky breath, “I do want you…so badly.” you finally admitted truthfully as you looked into Eren’s eyes. He grinned hearing that. “I want you too baby, more than you even know. You wanna sit on my cock?” Eren hummed.
You nodded and basically pounced on him, as if you hadn’t had any restrictions about this whole thing at all. You suddenly didn’t care anymore as you climbed onto Eren’s lap, straddling him as the two of you began to kiss messily and needily. Eren gripped your hips as you began to grind down on him like you were in heat, whining and whimpering into his mouth.
You sucked on Eren’s tongue, making him groan and buck his hips up into yours. You were so wet that a wet spot was already starting to form on Eren’s sweats. “please~” You whined as you broke the kiss, your small hands tugging at the strings to Eren’s sweatpants eagerly. “you can go ahead baby” Eren hummed as he left opened mouth kisses on your neck.
You untied his sweats and pulled them down, his hard cock coming out dribbling precum. He was so big, veins running along the sides of his cock. You wanted to drool at the sight. Eren bunched your skirt up around your waist, pushing your panties aside before he began to run his tip up and down your slit. You were a whining mess, your thighs trembling already from how sensitive and needy you were.
“so fucking whiny and wet. You’re already soaking my cock pretty baby and I’m not even inside you yet.” Eren gritted out. You only whimpered in response, your nails digging into Eren’s shoulders. Eren positioned himself and pushed the tip in, letting you sink down onto his cock as the both of you moaned in unison.
“so big…” you whined shakily as Eren bottomed out. “Mhm, you feel me in your tummy baby?” Eren asked as he placed his hand on your stomach, pressing on the bulge imprint his dick made. you moaned at the feeling and nodded, your eyes fluttering shut as your pussy gushed around Eren’s cock. “fuck..” he swore under his breath.
Once you adjusted you began to ride Eren, bouncing on his cock effortlessly as you moaned and whined nonstop. Eren was just as noisy as you were, groaning into your neck as he licked and bit at your skin. “n-no marks ‘ren” you managed to stutter out in your already fucked out state. Eren didn’t like the sound of that at all, growling in response. He understood why you said that but he just didn’t care.
“You’re mine and I’ll mark you as much as I want to. Because to be quite honest sweetheart I don’t give two fucks about your little relationship.” Eren said honestly as he began to suck harsh bruises onto your neck. You whined, Eren’s words were shocking to you but they also turned you on so much that you couldn’t even bother to fight against it. Your fingers tangled in Eren’s hair as he marked you up like he had something to prove, sinking his teeth into you and making you hiss in pain.
“hurts~” You whimpered, tears in your eyes from the intense pleasure of Eren’s dick hitting your sweet spot at just the right angle and because of the stinging pain. “I know baby” Eren hummed as he ran his tongue along the bite marks and bruises to soothe the sting. “Feel so good around me sweet girl, should’ve fucked you sooner.” Eren moaned as he fucked up into you, matching your pace.
Eren bit his lip as he looked at where your bodies connected, the white ring around his cock and the amount of slick coating his trimmed pubic hairs. “shit..I don’t think I’m ever gonna pull out.” Eren muttered, mesmerized by the sight of your cunt swallowing up his thick cock. By now the car reeked of sex and weed, the windows were all fogged up, the radio was still playing sensual rnb tunes lowly in the background but you and eren had tuned it out at this point and neither of you had a clue what time it was.
“you gonna let me cum inside you baby?” Eren asked as he began to rub circles into your clit making you cry out in pleasure, your seamless bouncing stuttering a bit. “you shouldn’t..” You whined as you finally opened and focused your glazed over eyes enough to look at Eren. He looked delicious, his hair damp and the strands sticking to his forehead, his bun a complete mess from your constant tugging.
His lips swollen and red from the kissing and his work of marking you, your nails marks on his neck and shoulder blades, his pupils dilated and his eyes dazed. You couldn’t look away from him. “Mm, I shouldn’t but I want to so so badly. Wanna fill you up so good princess. You want that don’t you?” Eren said as he kissed your cheeks and pecked your lips. His sweet gentle kisses and tone of voice was such a contrast to how his dick was abusing your cervix and how his hands were gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises.
It was making your mind all hazy and it wasn’t helping that your orgasm was approaching, that coil in your stomach tightening as Eren played with your clit. “I do wan’ it, want you to fill me up. Please~” You whined, your words slurring as you rocked your hips and clutched Eren’s shirt between your hands. The lewd wet sound of skin slapping and your combined moans filled the car. You looked even more fucked out than Eren did.
Thighs coated in both of your fluids, drool at the corner of your lips, eyes rolled and fluttering, head titled back with your hair sticking to you, hickies and bites covering your neck and collarbone, dried tears on your cheeks, clothes disheveled. Eren thought you looked beautiful and he was completely enamored by you. “fuck, you’re perfect. I’m gonna fill you up so full baby and I’m gonna make you mine. Fuck Connie.” Eren rambled as he fucked up into you.
Eren repositioned his arms underneath your knees, holding you up and sitting himself up further as he folded your legs up and pressed you against the steering wheel. the steering wheel pressing into your back was a bit uncomfy but the new angle Eren was fucking you in was heavenly, had you seeing stars. You don’t think you had ever been fucked this good, not even by your own boyfriend.
“m’ gonna cum~” You whined out, sobbing in pleasure and scratching down Eren’s back underneath his shirt as you felt your orgasm about to burst. “you can cum sweet girl, make a big mess for me.” Eren hummed as he placed kisses on your chest and boobs. Eren’s own orgasm was approaching too, his thrusts getting more uncoordinated and rougher as he chased it.
After a few more thrusts of Eren hitting that spot that made your toes curl, and the friction of his pubic hairs rubbing up against your clit you came with a loud moan of Eren’s name. Squirted all over him as your pussy clenched and unclenched around Eren’s cock. Eren groaned at the feeling, his eyes rolling back as he fucked you through your orgasm. “shitt sweetheart. so fucking messy, fuck!” Eren moaned as you soaked him in your climax.
It didn’t take long after for Eren to cum after you, whimpering into your neck as he filled you up with ropes and ropes of his cum. Eren hadn’t cum this much in his life, stuffing you to the brim as some of it poured out the seams. Eren’s thrusts slowed and he eased back into a proper seating position with you still sitting on his dick, twitching and whining as you were completely fucked out.
Eren took a moment to breathe and process the situation and you had dozed off, completely exhausted as you fell into a deep sleep on top of Eren. You looked so peaceful and cute it made Eren grin and he couldn’t help but to sneakily snap a picture of you before pecking your forehead. Eren checked the time and realized you two had been at it for almost three hours. It was 4 in the morning now.
“Jesus..you milked me dry little one.” Eren muttered while shaking his head. Eren started the car back up and began to drive, not bothering to move you or to pull out since he didn’t want to wake you. Eren knew he fucked up by sleeping with Connie’s girl but he couldn’t bring himself to regret a single second of it.
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mangocustard16 · 5 months
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Seventeen’s reaction to you not recognising them when drunk ♡
| genre:fluff
| warnings: mentions of drinking, pet names, cursing, lmk if i missed something
| w.c: 0.7k
| a/n: please reblog if you enjoyed, feedback is always appreciated✿
performance unit version | hip-hop unit ver.
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Hoshi:
Seventeen had just clinched a prestigious Daesang award, and you were out celebrating the hard-earned victory with the group.
the night begins with celebratory drinks, as Hoshi's friends convince you to join in the festivities.
and that's it you guys were out, partying hard celebrating your boyfriend's success
although Hoshi had been there too to make sure you didn't go overboard 
what caught him off guard was your unexpected assertion of not recognizing him
"Get your hands off of me you pervert!"
he was shocked, to say the least
but gotta admit, he felt kinda proud seeing you stand your ground and not let some random guy touch you, even if that guy happened to be him.
You turned to Seungkwan, seeking validation and asking him to confirm that this person is not someone you know.
to which Seungkwan awkwardly laughs, caught in the middle of the situation
"Babe, I'm your cute boyfriend"
"Then tell me something only my boyfriend knows?" you question him
He raises his eyebrows and motions you to come closer 
"one time you tried to challenge me to a dance battle, but it turned into a clumsy stumble, and you ended up on the flo-"
you put your hands on his mouth to stop him from revealing that embarrassing story
"Okay, okay! you're definitely my boyfriend"
Jun:
Despite being your boyfriend, Jun finds you unable to recognize him while heavily intoxicated.
the boy is pouting and is offended af
"Come on, shake it off," he said trying to grab your arm to get you out of the club
what caught him off guard was you landing a punch square in his stomach
Jun visibly grimaces, feeling the impact of the punch to his rib
"I know how to box sir, so you better keep your distance," you said walking away
At this point, Jun has no choice but to wait for you to head home by yourself, all he can do is follow you home making sure you get there safely
he woke up the next morning with a huge bruise on his side and for the love of god you couldn't remember a thing 
"Where did you get that bruise from baby?" you asked innocently
The8: 
he tried to play like he was actually hurt by you not recognizing him, but, man, he thought it was so darn cute
he would listen to you ramble about everything in your life, from how your new cat was constantly attacking others to how much your boyfriend loved you
"You know, my boyfriend wanted to name the new cat Pumpkin, but he looks so much like an Oreo, we almost fought but in the end, we named it Oreo"
"Your boyfriend treats you so badly, why would he fight with such a sweet girl like you" Minghao played along
"NOOOO! my boyfriend is the sweetest person in the whole world, don't you dare talk shit about the love of my life," you warned your new friend showing shoving your lock screen of you and Minghao together in his face
He'd chuckle and mumble something along the lines of, "How am I not supposed to love you"
Dino:
Dino got a little pouty when he realized you couldn't recognize him
all he wanted was your affection, but you wouldn't let him touch you, leaving him slightly disappointed
"Babe come on let's go"
"No I don't know you please stop following me, mister" you yelled
poor guy 
he's chasing after you trying to convince you that he's not a threat, in fact he's your boyfriend
"I'm your loving BOYFRIEND babe, do you not recognize me?"
"Why won't I recognize my own boyfriend you creep? Stop following me around." you'd say, slapping his hands away
You took out your phone and called your boyfriend trying to explain that a creepy man was following you around
Dino handed you his ringing phone, showing it to you to convince you that he was indeed your boyfriend.
"Babyyyyy!!! you should've come sooner" you exclaimed, throwing yourself on him, wrapping your arms around him
"I'll always be here for you love," he said shaking his head before planting a soft kiss to your forehead.
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@kflixnet @k-labels
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drchucktingle · 1 year
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mr. dr. chuck, i'm a few months ago i told a doc of mine that i believe i'm on the spectrum (after yeeeears of considering all the reasons why i thought so) and she agreed with me. then i came to some conclusions about members of my family. then i started melting down and haven't really recovered.
i'm in my 30's, but my life feels like it's been the mistake-addled 24th year for over a decade. people, choices, wants, they feel like things that were silly blips and not of much substance. i'm tired and my body hurts, so it feels harder to get to things i need. doctors don't seem like they can be trusted because of all the other ways i show up in the world.
i'm worried about my life and my future, and it feels like my magic is gone (or that i can't touch it right now). do you have any words of wisdom for someone who found out this really big thing about themselves kind of late?
thank you.
hello buckaroo thank you for writing. first of all i will say MOST IMPORTANT thing to remember is that it is okay and valid to FEEL the way that you feel. your reaction to this news or any news really is not wrong. that does not mean you cant wish for another reaction or WORK TOWARDS another reaction, but in grand cosmic sense this is just your way. YOUR TROT IS VALID and we all have our own unique way. sometimes that path is an easy path with sunny days and smiles and a glorious view, and sometimes it is through the darkness of shadows or crawling through the old bog. we can PREFER one path over the other, but neither is WRONG.
when giving advice old chuck tries to not PROJECT what i think YOU should do because that is not really the point. this is your trot to trot and i do not think it is my place to act like some authority of your way. what chuck can do is tell you MY story of diagnosis and how it made ME feel and maybe you can take little pieces of that for yourself.
chuck learned of way on autism spectrum when i was in early twenties by doctor who said 'yes this is your way'. when i learned of my spectrum way my reaction was: wow this is very very cool i am so lucky because all of my heroes are autistic and now i am in this RADICAL CLUB. we are special and unique and DANG what a treat wish i could have a membership card in my wallet to show all my buds.
now obviously this is not everyones reaction, but as starting off point i wonder what it would have meant to my future if the news would have HIT ME IN A BAD WAY. if i would have felt let a dang robot alien who didnt belong. maybe id be swimmin through the bog ever since.
thing is I LIKE ROBOT ALIENS they are very cool. doctor did not MAKE me different, i was different already, our talks just popped a nice little name on it for me to take or leave. i took the name proudly because DATA from stars trek (certified robot alien) is exactly how i already felt and dang what a cool character and dang what a great life. so was DAVID BYRNE. so was every cool buckaroo artist that i liked. cowboys are OUTSIDER HEROES and that is how my autism makes me feel.
so like i said, i do not know about YOUR way, but MY WAY of hearing this news was heaps of joy and excitement. i will also say that it is very DIFFICULT to find this reaction later if your first leap is feeling in a sad way about it. so maybe if you want to trot back in your mind to those first few steps it would be helpful. maybe mentally trot to where you were pushed off a dang cliff and think "well was i pushed off a cliff or was i just told 'hey bud youve been floating this whole time?"'
because if youve been floating then DANG thats a lot of power. thats not falling. you can float up, you can float down, you can float side to side.
the next thing i will say AS AND ARTIST is that years of toiling and feeling aimless are NEVER actually aimless when it comes to creation. and to LIVE in a human body is to be an artist, because you are CONSTANTLY CREATING the future. when i am writing and i dont have an idea for my next book that can be frustrating, but it is also PART of the process. if i walk to the store to rustle up my mind, or wander around the park, or spend a whole WEEK feeling weird because of writers block THAT IS ALL PART OF MAKING GREAT ART. that is not wasted time. in other words, your years of toiling are not wasted time, that is just the process we all have when we are creating a future masterpiece.
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coupleoffanfics · 10 months
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I might write about this one day. Maybe. Probably.
Random things about y/n with the batfam
Based on First Post
Bruce Wayne
Bruce never knew how to deal with y/n’s emotional outbursts even before they drifted apart. Out of everyone y/n was hands down the most emotional out of all the kids. Like what he is supposed to do when she’s crying about stray cats that don’t have a home. Or those times when she’d tear up over failing a test.
Just gives her a pat on the back and tries saying that it's not the end of the world. Not really helping as it invalidates her emotions. She makes a mental note to not go to Bruce after getting the same “reassuring words” from him every time.
Nearly spat out his coffee when she called him Pa for the first time. It was only after a couple of months of living there. Seeing the shocked reaction, she quickly tried to take it back until he reassured her with a small smile.
“You won’t be my dad, but you can be my pa. So when I have kids you can be called peepaw.”
Bruce isn’t sure when y/n stopped calling him Pa, but he remembers how he felt hearing her call him Sir or Bruce. How unnatural it sounded. It was too formal, but what hurt the most was how she said it without a second thought. Acting like it was the norm.
What happened to him being Pa?
What does he have to do to get his Pa status back?
Hopefully he doesn’t learn that y/n gave that title to someone else.
Dick Grayson
Kinda regrets not getting to know y/n before he and the whole family start going off into the deep end. It's not like they never interact or anything. Dick had trained her when she was working toward becoming Batgirl, but it was Bruce who mainly trained her.
Dick wasn’t nearly as close to her as Tim or even Jason. He didn’t have the time when juggling the Teen Titans, establishing himself as Nightwing, and being a Wayne. It was a stressful time of his life.
But he has much more free time now. Meaning he has much more time to make up for not being a big brother for y/n.
Slightly jealous that everyone except for him and Damian know or at least knew y/n. Some more than others.
So to gain an edge he read her diary. Only once he swears and it wasn’t like he went searching for it or anything. Didn’t know she had one. It was just sitting there in a box under her bed. Anyone could have found it really.
Reading the neat handwriting and discovering the personality of y/n was interesting. Kinda expected something along the lines of teen angst constering how aloof she comes off when around the family. Instead he found words of an insecure yet optimistic girl.
Dick uses his newly acquired intel to make it easier for y/n to talk to him. Brings up media that she likes to bond over the “same” interests they have. Uses her insecurities against her.
If she gets mad at him for trying to plant the idea that her best friend was a bad person, he’ll act like she’s overrating. Say that she was yelling even if she wasn’t. When asking if there was any validity to his bullshit, he’ll bring up one of her insecurity.
“You’ve always been slow when it comes to everything, but good thing your favorite brother is always there for you.”
“Yeah, good thing I’ll always have Tim.”
“Yeah, wait-”
Jason Todd
They were somewhat close before he died as they trained and sparred with each other. He wished he was able to see her put on her suit for the first time as he knows how hard she worked for it. Could practically hear her squealing when she looked in the mirror.
Unlike the others, Jason avoided y/n on purpose. He felt ashamed for beating and having snapped her arm when he was trying to kill everyone. She wasn’t even fighting back. If it wasn’t for Bruce and Tim, y/n would have ended up in a casket.
When hearing that she quit being Batgirl, he was kind of surprised. He remembers the younger y/n trying so hard to meet Bruce’s expectations. Despite failing more than he could count, she always got back to work. Always trying to improve. Never being satisfied with herself.
Wanted to know what made her quit, but decided against it. It wasn’t his place to ask and he doubted that she’d tell him. It wasn’t like she told anyone though.
Was kinda glad that y/n quit. Jason always felt queasy when seeing or even thinking of her getting hurt since it reminds him of when he was so close to taking her life. And he always felt that she wasn’t made for this kind of work.
She was too soft to fight the Killer Croc or face Scarecrow. Even though Jason always felt that way, he’d never say it aloud. He couldn’t bring himself to dampen that twinkle in her eyes.
“I saw how hard you hit the punching bag, why are you holding back now?”
“I don’t know…I don’t want to hurt you or anything.”
“y/n, you're supposed to come at me with everything you got.”
“But I don’t like hurting you or anyone.”
Tim Drake
Tim and y/n were close even though it was a bit awkward at first. They geeked out about the latest games and shows. Staying up late enjoying whatever type entertainment with junk food much to the dismay of Bruce and Alfred.
y/n admired his intelligence and how patient he was when explaining something to her. Whether it was homework or something else entirely, he was the one she felt most comfortable asking for help from.
She was low-key jealous of how quickly Tim was able to gain the title of Robin while it took her years of training to become Batgirl. But the jealousy would later be admiration for a time.
Tim always felt privileged when y/n showed her artwork to him. She never likes showing it to anyone and hates when someone tries to look at what she was drawing. So when she asks for his attention and flips her notebook/tablet around he can't help smiling.
Even when they were on good terms, he wasn't sure how to approach her when going through a low. She either needed to be alone, talk, or push. The thing is Tim doesn't know how to appropriately react. He just doesn't want to make anything worse, so he ends up having her sit outside to absorb the sun rays. Since he noticed how that had brightened her low mood.
When y/n quit being Batgirl he gave her some space before asking about it. Surprisingly he didn't get much of an answer. She was usually so open about everything, especially with him.
Realizing that they were getting nowhere with this he backed off. Assuming that she'd tell him when she was ready.
Overtime they began hanging out less and less. He hadn't realized how far they drifted apart until one night. Just making a quick run to the kitchen for some coffee. It was pretty late and he didn't think any else was or would be awake.
Yet there was y/n sitting at the kitchen island writing on a paper with notes scattered around her. Homework. When Tim made his presence known with a simple hi, he noticed how…tense she got. Like she got caught stealing from the forbidden cookie jar.
When asking what she was working on, she gave short answers. He'd expected a monologue of how frustrating learning this new material is. Then asking if she needed help, he saw her jaw slightly clench. It looked like she was going to say more, but only declined with a no.
It was odd, but he didn't think too much of it at the time. He had…He didn't want to admit it, but he had more important things to deal with. If he knew of things that were going to happen, he would've done so much differently.
"— Really? I think this is my worst one yet."
"I don't know what you're talking about, it looks great. I couldn't ever draw something that good."
"Just because you can't draw doesn't make my drawing better. Wait, you were just shitting on me for comparing myself to others."
"Yeah, but that's different."
Damian Wayne/Al Ghul
Never liked y/n from the start. Before she even opened her mouth, just that smile looked so wrong. Damian couldn't put his finger on it, but didn't like it. It seemed so fake because it was.
There wasn't anything that made him feel like he needed to respect her like the others. Sure, she was Batgirl but only for a few years.
She never helped them with anything. She's never there to help in the first place. In his opinion she wasn't anything more than dead weight.
When insulted there was never an insult thrown back. He can tell when he struck a nerve when her lips move to the right and her eyes slightly harden. Maybe her nose will flare up if he hit hard enough.
Then she just responds with a hum before ignoring him or leaving the room. If she didn't respect herself enough to defend herself then why should he even bother with her.
When the family slowly/is yandere he'll reevaluate his view of y/n. Still thinks she's weak and cannot do anything, but less hateful. Which is a good thing until he's trying to have her attention whenever they're in the same room.
Or when he's digging through all her artwork while Dick is giggling to himself when reading her diary. Finding out their interest in the arts, he's forcing her to paint. Doesn't care if she doesn't like it, they're painting together.
"Why can't you carry your weight around the house? All you do is sit in your room."
"Hm."
"I don't even know why you're still here, Father should have kicked you out after you stopped being useful."
"Mhhm."
"I know you can hear me. You just don't know how to respond because it's true."
"Hmm."
|*|*|*|*|
Dear Diary,
Today my family tried to talk to me.
It was weird.
815 notes · View notes
wheres-mylove · 22 days
Text
francesca | aemond targaryen x fem!baratheon!reader
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Summary: Aemond battles duty and desire, torn between his brother's schemes and his own longing for Lady Baratheon. Inspired by Hozier's Francesca.
Disclaimer: English isn't my first language!
Word count: 0.6k
Aegon Targaryen was a man accustomed to having his desires fulfilled.
A master of getting what he wanted, he seized pleasure and delights for himself. What he didn't want, he also received. Always granted the privileges of a firstborn son. The vision of a crown he didn't deserve.
He didn't deserve the wife he took either, simply because he could. Because it pleased him to spite his brother. That fool only took. Took and gave nothing in return.
Aemond Targaryen was second in line to the throne. Second in line to make demands.
Second, second, second.
Lady Baratheon glided toward him, escorted by her father. The sept was silent, all attention focused on the radiant bride. And for a fleeting moment, Aemond could draw a breath and imagine that she belonged to him. That this wedding was not a farce.
She gave him a look that nearly knocked him off his feet. A mixture of adoration, hope, and timidity. He had to ground himself. Reality crashed upon him with cruel force. He felt like a pawn in a game he never wanted to play. It wasn't his day. It wasn't his ceremony. She was not his to claim, not his to cherish.
Aemond had been cruel before, but now he had really outdone himself.
“We should have Storm's End on our side. When the time comes, we will need every strength we can gather,” Otto Hightower declared, clasping his hands on the table. “Borris is a proud, stupid man. He'll agree if he imagines his daughter by the side of the future king.”
Alicent cast a uncertain glance at Aegon, who lounged on one of the chairs, seeming entirely disinterested in the whole situation.
“I thought the arrangements made for Helaena to be his wife were still valid.”
“Don't be ridiculous,” Otto rebuked her sharply. “We must open ourselves to alliances from the outside.”
“Which one will I get?” the prince suddenly asked, as if struck by a certain thought.
“If the Baratheons have anything to offer, it's daughters. Whichever one you want.”
A grave, grave mistake.
Aemond barely heard the words of the ceremony. His heart hurt. A heart he should have gotten rid of before stepping into this building. She was so beautiful. He imagined her reaction when she entered the marital chambers. She wouldn't find the man she was marrying at the altar there. She would find Aegon.
Aemond is a proxy. A safeguard. So Lady Baratheon won't flee.
Aegon's back collided with the oak doors. But the impact failed to erase the smug grin etched upon his face. His brother's fiery gaze bore into him.
“Maybe I do love her? And I can't imagine any other by my side?” Aegon asked in a sing-song voice, not moving from the spot Aemond had shoved him into.
Aemond's patience wore thin, his voice a low growl of frustration.
“Stop it. You don't give a shit at all. This is just another game to you. And she won't agree to marry you. Not after how you treated her the last time she was here.”
Aegon's smirk widened, a gleam of amusement dancing in his eyes.
“Oh, I know that. That's precisely why we need your help, dear brother. Our intended bride happens to hold you in high regard. And as for me, well, weddings aren't exactly my cup of wine. The feasts afterward? Absolutely. But the ceremony itself? Not my scene.”
Prince's tone turned ominous as he issued his ultimatum, a veiled threat hanging in the air.
“Refuse to assist, and I'll see to it that this marriage never takes place.”
Aemond felt the weight of obligation pressing down upon him, a heavy burden he could not easily shake off. They needed this alliance, and he was bound by duty to serve the case.
But now, oh now, now he felt something else. The stirring of rebellion.
He will claim her for himself. His lady born of tempest and fury.
How would she fear any hurricane when she embodied one?
And as for Prince Aemond, he had always been captivated by storms.
132 notes · View notes
superhaught · 1 month
Text
Breaking Down
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(GIF by jamie-hayter)
Pairing(s): Leighton x Tatum, Leighton & Reader
Warnings: anxiety attack, slight angst
Word Count: 1900, Part 1/?
Part 2 / Part 3
Anonymous asked: Can you write about Leighton having a panic attack just after coming out to her dad in front of Tatum and Tatum's father ? Hurt comfort ?
Leighton was quiet for the remainder of the dinner. She smiled when she had to and answered politely when prompted to. Tatum kept glancing her way, brows knit together in concern. Leighton met her eyes and mouthed “I’m fine,” feigning a pleasant demeanor.
But she wasn’t fine. Far from it, actually. She didn’t want to come out. She didn’t want the fallout. She didn’t even realize she was saying it until it was too late and the words were already vomited out. 
I’m gay. 
The look on her dads face was seared into her mind. He wasn’t disgusted or anything that horrible, he was just… shocked. But what did she have to complain about? Him needing to take a few moments to process on the bench outside of the restaurant was hardly a traumatizing reaction. When she had gone out there to check on him, he was so quick to assure her that he loved and supported her. So why did she still feel like her insides were boiling?
Leighton was the last to stand up from the table, not realizing right away that the bill had long since been paid and they were starting to say their goodbyes. Tatum’s dad shook Leighton’s hand and gave her a polite pat on her back, saying something like, “I’m happy to have met you, Leighton. I think you’ll be very good for my daughter.” She smiled and nodded while repeatedly counting to twenty in her head. 
Tatum gave Leighton’s upper arm a slight squeeze and whispered, “can I borrow you over here for a sec?”
Leighton nodded blankly, Tatum pulled her away to quiet a corner of the restaurant lobby while their dads continued to chat happily about the good old days. 
“Hey, are you alright?”
“What?” Leighton asked, taking too long to process Tatum’s words, “oh, yeah. I’m fine, really.”
“You don’t seem fine…”
“Well, I am.” Leighton snapped. She didn’t mean to come across as harsh. She just… didn’t want to get into it. “Sorry… I am fine. That went as well as I could’ve hoped, so… it’s all good.”
Tatum raised an eyebrow, “Okay, but whatever you’re feeling is valid, you know? A neutral, or even a positive reaction doesn’t always make coming out any easier.”
Leighton inhaled through her nose and sandwiched Tatum’s hand in hers, “I’m feeling fine, Tatum. Really. I’m glad my dad knows, and I’m sure I’ll talk to my mom and brother soon. This is good.”
Leighton wasn’t lying, exactly. But that was far from the whole truth. She just didn’t know right now. She didn’t know how she was really feeling. She didn’t know why she didn’t want to be honest with Tatum about that. She didn’t know why she felt like all of the air was being sucked out of the room. 
“Alright,” Tatum conceded, “well, just call me if you need anything, okay? I’m gonna go back with my dad to his hotel for another drink. See you later, babe.” Tatum gave a quick, chaste kiss that landed on the corner of Leighton’s mouth.
Leighton nodded. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen.
She said goodbye to her dad as he climbed into the back of his ride back to his hotel. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. 
Leighton started walking back to campus on her own. One. Two. Three. Four.
She was nearly back at her dorm but she felt like her ribs were being compressed. The tips of her fingers were all pins and needles. She couldn’t get a full breath anymore. 
Leighton sat down on a bench and gripped the edge of the seat with white knuckles. 
You were on your way to your dorm from the library, finally finishing a study session for your upcoming chem exam. You usually never run into anyone on the path that you take but not this night. 
Sat upon a bench next to the sidewalk was a blonde, hunched over with her head in her hands. You quickly recognized her; Leighton Murray was shaking and hyperventilating. 
You look around quickly and then rush over to the bench, tossing your bag onto the ground and kneeling down in front of her.
“Leighton? Hey, Leighton… are you okay?” you ask softly. 
The blonde gasped and sniffled, quickly sitting up and wiping her cheeks on the sleeve of her shirt. She muttered under her breath, “shit…”
“Are you hurt? Sick?”
She shook her head. She still wasn’t breathing normally. You felt like you recognized what might be happening, “Leighton, could you be having a panic attack?”
She nodded at this. 
You didn’t know Leighton, well. You had been to some of the same events and parties. Run in some of the same circles. But you knew panic attacks. You knew what you would want someone to do for you. 
You sat down on the bench next to her, “is it okay if I touch you?”
She didn’t respond immediately but she eventually nodded. You took off your jacket and draped it around her, and then wrapped your arms around her shoulders and started to give her a squeezing hug. At the contact, she quickly melted into you and started to sob. You weren’t surprised by this, you would’ve done the same. 
“I want you to try breathing with me, okay? Just try to slow down, and breathe deeper…” you whispered. You made the pattern of your breathing obvious so that she could try to follow you, “try to match me, you’re doing great.” 
You seemed to be helping. It took some time but she was able to focus on matching her breathing to yours. 
Leighton coughed. You reached for your bag without pulling too far away from her and got your water bottle out, “do you want some water? It’ll help.”
She nodded and reached for it. You unscrewed the cap for her and she took it and poured water into her mouth. 
She was quiet for another minute or so and took another drink before handing the bottle back to you. Her voice was shaky but her breathing seemed to have settled.
“Thank you…”
You nod, “Course, are you feeling better?”
“Mhmm…” she paused and wiped her face again, “why did you help me? You don’t even know me…”
You shrug, “I wasn’t just going to walk by.”
“How did you know what to do?”
“I’ve had panic attacks before. In my experience, they’re a lot scarier when you’re alone.”
She nodded and sat up a little straighter, “I must look like a fucking mess… I don’t like to let anyone see me like this.”
You can’t help but chuckle a little, “like what?”
She scoffed, “crying, my makeup running down my face…”
“Ohhh, you mean you don’t like people seeing you look human?” you tease, nudging her arm slightly. 
Leighton laughed and wiped under her eyes with her thumbs. 
“Here, if you’re so worried about it, I think I can help with that, too.” You rummage through your bag once more and produce a travel size pack of face wipes, handing them over to her. 
She raised an eyebrow at you, “what are you? Some kind of genie for people having breakdowns?” Leighton took the wipes from your hand and cleaned her face. 
You laugh, “No, nothing so glamorous. I just like being able to help when I can.”
She sighed, “well, it’s appreciated. Thank you, really. I kind of thought I was dying for a minute, is that stupid?”
“No, not at all. Panic attacks are mean like that. Have you had one before?”
“I guess so, now that I think about it.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, they’re no fun.”
“Yeah…” she took a deep breath, “I’m so sorry, I feel like an asshole, I don’t even know your name.”
You tell her not to worry about it and introduce yourself.
“What dorm are you heading to? Can I walk you back? Make sure you get there okay?”
She looks a little taken aback by your offer but she nods, “that would be really nice, actually, yeah.”
You stand and start walking. Leighton immediately groans, “god why am I wearing heels? Gimme a sec…” You stop as Leighton bends down to take her shoes off and resigns herself to finishing the walk barefoot. 
“Oh gosh, no way you’re walking across a college campus barefoot, you’re taking my sneakers.” 
Before she has a chance to protest, you’re already taking off your Adidas and passing them to her. 
“What? Then you’re barefoot, that’s stupid!”
“I’m wearing socks, and this isn’t up for discussion. Just take them, please? I’ll carry your heels.”
Leighton stares at you like you’re an alien. To you, this doesn’t even seem like a big deal, but it clearly means something to her. 
She shakes her head incredulously and slides your sneakers on her feet as you take her heels from her. You then continue the walk to her dorm building in silence for a bit. 
“You’re… strange…” Leighton finally says. 
“I am?”
“Yes. You’re not like most other people here. I feel like… you’re one of the only people I’ve met who isn’t completely self-interested.”
“Huh. Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re just meeting shitty people, though.”
“Maybe… My roommates are pretty good, but they might’ve only given me a chance after I bought them all iPads.”
“I’m sorry, you did what?”
“Oh, I bought their forgiveness with iPads. I think… I think I might be the most self-interested person here, actually.”
You shake your head, “no. No way.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Eh, I have a hunch. For one, I don’t think you’d still be talking to me if you were really as self-absorbed as you say. Also, I find that people who are completely self-interested, usually lack the self-awareness required for panic attacks to happen.”
She thinks about your words for a while and then shrugs, “I still think you’re strange. I’d rather believe that you’re the anomaly in the system and continue to pretend that I fit in just fine with the student body here.”
You smile, “you’re lucky that I take that as a compliment, Leighton Murray.”
You reach her building and she turns to face you, handing you her phone, “put your number in.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah… honestly, there’s no one else I’d rather go to if I find myself in that kind of situation again. Is… is that okay?”
She looks vulnerable then. You get the sense that you’ve seen a side of Leighton Murray that no one else is privy to. 
“Sure, Leighton. That’s totally okay. You can come to me for other stuff, too, though. If you just want to talk, or hang out. I can be a strange friend as well as a strange emotional breakdown genie.”
She laughs. You take note of how light and sweet her laugh is. It makes your stomach float a little. 
You put your contact information into her phone while she takes your sneakers off of her feet and then you trade belongings back, returning her phone and heels to her, “I hope you have a good night, Leighton. Try to get some good sleep, you’ll feel better for it.”
She smiles softly, “Thanks, genie. You too.” You watch her go inside the building before you walk away. You let out a sigh and think to yourself a sentiment that you don’t realize you share with a majority of the sapphic community at Essex: goddamn Leighton Murray.
Next Chapter
125 notes · View notes
okkvtsu · 4 months
Note
Hii, if you're looking for requests, maybe academic rivals to lovers with regulus?
Pick a side
“How are you so smart but such. an idiot?”
“ I don’t know, but I guess now your stuck with me
-the way you can tell I gave up half way and lost all my ideas this is so bad I’m sorry 😭
-regulus black x gn!reader
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God you hated that boy. That’s stupid pureblood who couldn’t get enough of himself that idiot regulus black
That stupid smirk on his face everytime he beat you on any subject and the fact he knew he could always outdo you in some way.
you didn’t exactly know how it started, the hatred you both seemed to have for each-other for as long as you can remember you both just needing the validation at being the top of your classes and he was always in the way of that
regulus was like a thorn on a rose, sure he was handsome and charming, you weren’t going to lie on that. But he was just such a pain to deal with atleast to you. He didn’t seem to exactly want the spotlight but he was always in it and he wasn’t totally against it
every Student knew that having the two of you in the same room would be a disaster always at neck and neck to be on the top. Merlin even the professors seemed to be sweating when you two were put in their same class
So maybe slughorn was done with your stupid rivalry, or maybe just maybe he wanted to make a fool of you when he decided having you be partners in the same potions assignment was a good idea
When slughorn both pulled your names out of his cauldron selecting you to be partners he laughed. Laughed? There was nothing funny about this you had to deal with that regulus for a month. A month! On some project you didn’t even care to know the context of you were more frustrated at this situation
you groaned as everyone began going to your partner. You were not going up to regulus first not in a million years would you want to be without 2 feet of that boy.
“ you seem excited.” Said a voice you knew all to well as they pulled up the chair beside you to seat themselves a hand on their book and the other on their cheek
you didn’t even want to look at him you thought you’d punch him if you saw that idiotic smirk on his face you would bet he had.
“ very excited,black.” You said sarcastically rollling your eyes and not meeting his own not wanting to give him the time of day to see just how much you hated this
“ ah the last name very friendly,”
“ atleast now you don’t have to worry about failing at all” he said proudly
“ I was never going to fail black Dont get your wand in a nott” you muttered clenching your jaw
“ oh I’m sure but you wouldn’t have been the top student now would you? Chére” he said proud of his own words that didn’t seem bitter but he wanted to get a reaction out of you
you gripped your potions book at his words they didn’t hurt you no but they did frustrate you. Especially that stupid nickname
“ Dont get ahead of yourself black I’m sure I would’ve been the top student you don’t even know” you said not wanting to continue this conversation
“ maybe but we’ll never know will we cuz now your stuck with me” he said as if it was funny before the bells wrung signaling the end of the class
“ hmm well we’ll talk later im sure” he said with a small wink as he walked away and out of the class
“Dear Merlin I hope not.” You whispered to yourself as you got up and left to your own time
“I hate him so much!” You said standing in the gryfindor common room pausing around the room while your friends say their laughing at your antics
“ look he can’t be that bad” Remus said a book in his hand as he sat on the sofa a small smile on his lips at your antics
“ exactly he might be a pure blood and all but he’s always quite and doesn’t do nothing he can’t really be as bad as you say love” lily evans says taking her seat on the floor infront of the sofa
“ he is that bad tho! He’s always trying to get under my skin and do Better than me and it’s just so aggravating!” You said taking a seat next to Remus with your hands in your hair
Remus and lily both looked at eachother with a small smile “ look love you could atleast try to get along with him? Try not to worry about how much you hate him and act like you definitely never hated him please just try to ok?” They smiled encouragingly at you hoping you would try to get along with him
“…alright” you said stubbornly as they both smiled back at you with a small nod
“ now I think you should sleep big day ahead of you hm?” Remus said as lily laughed and pushed his leg to stop teasing you
“ I guess your right… goodnight then moony, lily” you said rubbing your eyes and yawning
“ goodnight y/n” they both said
the next day you walked Into potions I little less with the impression that you’d hate your day you sat next to regulus as he looked at you with a small smirk and you smiled back st him
I mean the smile was fake of course but it still seemed real to him he smiled back normally not a smile full of bitterness and venom but one of welcoming
Wierd. You thought
“morning, you said sitting down and not looking at him but straight at your potions book
“…morning” he said softly as if he was suprised by you not coming into the class and punching him” you wake up on the right side of the bed today?”
you shrugged “ I just don’t wanna argue every day with someone I have to deal with for a month”
he paused “ that’s fair” he shrugged and smiled at you “ but I’ll still bother you. Just a little atleast” he whispered with a small smile as he looked at you
and finally you looked him in the eyes with a smile “ I guess that’s alright.”
and this had continued for a month.
But you weren’t complaining. Over that month that you thought you’d hate you really enjoyed regulus’s company he had snucken up on you and became all you thought about and as much as you hated to admit it.
You might have just fallen in love with regulus black.
”cmon guys I don’t like regulus!” You said to your friends at the gryfindor table they snickered at your words
“ y/n you started calling him Reggie when your with him” Remus pointed out as he stuck a peice of toast in his mouth
“ you went to his dorm to study and he walked you back.” Lily added “ good that he walked you back and all but you can’t possibly be like this with him and say you don’t have feelings at all” she said matter-of-factly.
you groaned and looked back at the slytherian table and saw regulus with Barty crouch jr and Evan rosier.
he caught your eyes and gave you a toothy smile and a wave as you smiled back at him and turned back to your friends
“….maybe” you mumbled taking a sip of your drink
“ definitely!” Remus and Lily with a small laugh before everyone going to their classes distracted you
“ tell ya what you go into that potions class and talk to regulus and yk see what happens?” Remus said “ if he doesn’t like you I’ll make sure I don’t take my potion this month” he whispered as lily nudged his arm with a laugh
You scoffed and picked up your potions boom “ alright.. I’ll tell you guys later but I gotta go bye!” You said while walking away
“ bye! Make us proud!” They yelled back their laughs fading as you left the hall
When you reached the class you were beyond nervous your last day. This might be the last time you Talk to Regulus without it having a reason behind it
“hello chére” regulus said coming up next to you and taking his seat giving you a warm smile
“Morning Reggie” you smiled at him as his pale cheeks turned a soft pink
“last day”he reminded you with a soft glint in his eye you didn’t recognize
“yeah” you said with a sad smile “let’s be make the most of it then” you said trying to make it less awkward
he smiled softly back at you “yea.. we should”
“ I’ll miss our time together chére”
“ I will to reg”
and then it had ended. That bell rang and it was over. And it was gone for a week a week since you saw regulus black
That stupid week had passed and you hated it sure you saw him in class but he didn’t even look at you and when he did it lasted a second before he turned away like you never existed and you didn’t know why
to get your mind off it you went to the astronomy tower late at night when no one would be there
sure it was stupid and you might get caught but you couldn’t bare to sit and your dorm and think about regulus for another moment
why did it hurt so much? Losing him? You hated him. Atleast you were supposed to be was a pure blood who thought about nothing but himself
But he wasn’t. he was sweet and kind and cared about his friends like they were the only thing on the planet he just couldn’t show that. Not when he was apart of the black family and it’s not like he could ever look a halfblood like you
but why is it that it had hurt to think like that? You hated him he was just regulus black
“Y/n?” A voice said catching you away from your own thoughts a voice you didn’t expect to hear
“ regg.. regulus?” You said catching yourself before you said something wrong
“Why are you here?” He asked a eyebrow raised his messy brown curls shining in the moon and his eyes fixed on you with a little worry
“ just getting air but I should leave now.” You said standing up and walking towards the door to pass him before he grabbed your hand
“Dont leave.. please” he said gripping your hand softly looking into your eyes with a soft look
“ regulus. We haven’t talked in a week I thought you hated me still that it was just for a project you even talked to me like a normal person” you said looking to the side not wanting to meet his eyes scared to what you’d see
“ that’s not what it is… I don’t hate you I never have..”he admitted “ it’s the opposite”
“what?” You said
“Look, this month of time we’ve spent together was so fun and.. I don’t know what is it but something’s changed” he admitted looking into your eyes deeply a small frown on his lips
“ what? Regulus what are you trying to say?”you said softly titling your head to the side
“ y/n I don’t hate you I never have your lovely and now? It’s worse. It’s the opposite of hating you your all I can think about and I thought that maybe if I ignored you I wouldn’t feel like this and-“
but you cut him off before he could continue with a kiss to his lips
yea that’ll shut him up. You thought
you pressed your lips against his softly and pressing your hand to his cheek before pulling away
“ love? Is that what your feeling”
“…yes” he said looking in your eyes
“ well I feel that to for you Regulus”you smiled at him as he smiled back
and then he was the one to kiss you with his hands on your waist and yours around his neck
“ so now I can do this as much as I want?” He smiled
“ as much as you want.” You laughed
And he kissed you again as if it were the first time and you hoped it wouldn’t be the last
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borderlinereminders · 6 months
Text
I post a lot about self-soothing and working on needing reassurance. And while it’s important to do, it doesn’t mean that’s how it always has to be.
I try self soothing first. Sometimes with my best friend, I know my feelings at her aren’t her fault. It’s something small that’s triggered insecurity even though I know it’s not rational. And I try to deal with the feelings myself first. But sometimes I can’t. And it’s okay.
In these cases, I usually go to her. I’ll tell her “I know it’s not rational and it’s not your fault. But I’m having feelings about x, y and z”. If possible, I’ll tell her what I’m looking for (like reassurance).
She’s always very happy to offer me that reassurance. She knows that I’ve come so far and worked hard and if she can reassure me, she’s often happy to in order to make it easier for me.
I’m going to share my most recent example under the read more for a real life example of how I applied this.
But my overall point is that it is absolutely okay to ask for reassurance and sometimes you need to. It’s just important to do it in a healthy way.
A few weeks ago, she was overwhelmed and busy. I offered to watch her dog for her while she was working. I didn’t get a response back because she was thinking about it.
And then I found out someone else was watching her dog.
I felt a lot of confusing emotions. I felt angry. I also felt insecure, like she didn’t trust me. I was frustrated at her and the person now watching her dog. I felt jealous.
I used skills to try and cope with these feelings. I didn’t lash out at her. I tried using logic to suggest alternatives to myself. Perhaps it wasn’t personal that she picked someone else. Maybe it was for logistical reasons. It was probably just easier for her.
I tried to sleep on it, but the feelings were growing. No matter what coping skills I used. Sometimes, the coping skills don’t work to self soothe or talk myself through it.
I was feeling annoyed for small things and I knew that it wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t done something wrong. But I decided to talk to her about it. I didn’t want the feelings growing and causing issues and they weren’t going to sort themselves out.
Here are copy and pastes from our actual conversation :
Me: My explanation for feeling hurt is that **** told me she was taking Storm and I felt hurt because I offered twice and you didn’t respond at all to it. It made me feel like I did something wrong to break your trust. I am really emotionally sensitive right now and I know I’m having an *extremely* heightened emotional reaction to it but I can’t seem to let go of the bad feelings. And I know it’s not your fault. But also it just feels bad and I feel like I need to tell you about these feelings because I can’t let them go on my own. I could really use some reassurance.
Her: That’s so valid.
If context helps you feel less BPD, I was actually trying to figure whether to leave Storm at home or bring her to you but I needed to know my new start time at work with the new schedule before I’d know if I could make the timing work to drop her off with you after the ferry.
Then *** was sad about the breakup with *** and I offered to lend her Storm as an emotional support animal. I know she really struggles with being alone when she is sad. And I decided I could do without my dog temporarily. I can see how it would’ve seemed like I preferred having **** watch Storm.
But your BPD is very valid, I probably would’ve felt the same way under the circumstances. I hope you have a great day and I hope you know I love you. Also that I think you’re great with dogs and would have 100% wanted you to watch Storm this week.
-
( The name of the person watching her dog are blacked out for privacy reasons.) While she didn’t need to share the context, she chose to do that so she could better offer reassurance. I also want to point out that she validated my feelings. My emotional reaction was heightened but she still validated me. She also then offered reassurance for my specific concern (that I wasn’t trusted). She was patient and understanding. I was valid to need reassurance but her reaction to it was super valid and why it felt so safe to seek reassurance from her.
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haezen · 1 year
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how he apologizes 
suna, makki
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haikyuu!!  genre: hurt/comfort
a/n: they’re so silly and i’m in love with them (heheehehahaha) if you guys like this, show it some love.  (i love seeing you guys reblog with # ! i read them and they make my day!)  maybe i’ll do sakusa and atsumu next :>
dedicated to my lovely best friend @nami66m !
HOW SAKUSA APOLOGIZES
masterlist
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SUNA
Rintarou is unbearably stubborn. 
He says things that he doesn’t mean and his words are venomous. When the two of you got into a fight over something that didn’t even really matter, you are shocked when he spits your biggest insecurity back in your face. He will never forget the pained expression that washed over your features and almost instantly, he regretted ever saying it in the first place. 
You held your head up high, trying to ignore the lump forming in your throat and the tears threatening to spill, before heading out of your shared home. He could tell that you were heartbroken to hear something you told him in confidence thrown back in your face. He knew that he fucked up, but yet he stood there unmoving like a statue, too afraid to move a muscle or utter a word. As he watched you storm out, he told himself that he never wants to see you leave out that door, running away from him again.
He stood in that same spot for a while, frozen. Why did he say those things? What were you even fighting about in the first place? How can he fix this?
He doesn’t know what to do. Before, all he did was run from his problems and avoid people he wronged like the plague. He’d ignored their texts and calls. He’d act like he wasn’t home when they’d knock on his door, begging for an explanation on why he went ghost. He’d even act like he didn’t know them when seeing them in public. 
Rintarou doesn’t know how to admit he’s wrong because he believes that if he admits it, then you’ll find somebody better. You deserve somebody who wouldn’t hurt you in the first place: someone who acknowledges their faults and overcomes them with humility. And he has never done that — he doesn’t know how to. 
So as he sits on the couch with his head in his hands and unbecoming tears streaming down his face, he decides that he needs to drive to the only person he can trust to ask for advice: Osamu.
You finally come home at midnight. Your cheeks and nose are red and he instantly realizes you’ve been walking out in the cold. 
But when you open the door, you’re greeted by the warmth of the fireplace, candles lit everywhere you look, and Rintarou standing right in the kitchen like he’d been waiting there for hours. He offers you an uneasy smile, one that doesn’t reach his eyes. He smiles like he’s unsure of what to say or what your reaction will be. 
Deep down, he wants to run and hide like he usually would. He’s afraid that you will leave him first because you’ve seen how ugly he can be.
He gestures to the kitchen island, and you see he’s made you your favorite food. It’s not perfect and the display looks awful, but the hopeful look in his eyes is begging for your acceptance and validation. You know he’s never done anything like this before. 
The gesture makes you want to cry all over again, but you’re hesitant to forgive him so easily. When he’s met with silence, he continues.
“I made it all myself.” He explains, “But...I had to ask Osamu for help because I didn’t know where to start.” He admits, voice a little lower than before.
You step into the kitchen to take it all in  — the kitchen is a mess, the sink full of dishes and it looks like he spilled something all over the stove. But you know he’s trying, in his own stupid way, to make it up to you.
He approaches you carefully, scared that you’ll storm out again. To his surprise, you await his embrace. He wraps his arms around you while you hesitantly wrap yours around him.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers for the first time, “I didn’t mean what I said.” 
You think he might be crying.
“I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.” 
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MAKKI
He hates to think that he could’ve done something wrong in the first place. 
Because it was only a joke.
You had invited your family over for dinner. While all of you are having a good time and getting along for once, Makki decides to make a joke in an attempt to make your family like him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the time or the place for this particular joke —   it’s inappropriate and borderline offensive, especially to you.  You, most out of everyone, are appalled and shocked that he’d even bring something like that up. It makes everyone stiff and the aura is suddenly uncomfortable; the air is stuffy and no one knows what to say in response. You excused yourself from the table, dragging Makki outside to the balcony by his ear. He groaned in complaint and once you left the table, everyone shared knowing looks. By the time the both of you returned inside, everyone had already finished their food and was ready to leave, eager to leave the tense atmosphere. You were beyond embarrassed and disappointed that the night had gone awry.
You pointedly ignored him for the rest of the night because you decided that you were too upset to fight. You cleaned up by yourself despite Makki’s protests to let him help you. You shouldered him off and he didn’t know what to do. He was starting to get frustrated, but he knew not to say anything in retort. 
Unfortunately, like most men, Makki has his pride. But, he realizes that he would much rather admit he’d done something to upset you rather than sit, brood, and refuse to apologize. Of course, since it is Makki, he has to put a fun and exciting twist to it.
He’ll usually give you your space for a few hours, acting like he is oblivious to the silent treatment you always give him when you’re upset. He looks past all the harsh glares you throw his way and he ignores the scoffs you make when he walks past you in your shared apartment. He even gives you a flippant, ‘bye!’ when you leave to get some fresh air because the tension is so thick that the both of you feel like you’re going to suffocate.
While you’re gone, he scrambles to get things ready as he prepares to build a blanket fort for the both of you. It might be childish, but the two of you have never been afraid to indulge in ‘kiddie’ activities. And he knows how much you love to watch movies together. He even makes the quickest trip to the convenience store in his life – rushing to get you your favorite snacks and drink. 
He barely makes it home before you return. He's putting the final touches when he hears you unlocking the door.
 As he whips around, you walk in and your eyes go wide.
“What’s this?” You question, eyeing his guilty expression. 
“I’m sorry.”  Is all he says.
You scoff for probably the hundredth time today. As you unlace your shoes and shrug your coat off your shoulders, you hear him messing around with the television. Your heart is racing as you try to decide if you’re still upset at him. 
“Do you know how uncomfortable you made everyone? You’re so–” 
“I shouldn’t have made such a stupid joke.”
“You think?” 
You fail to realize that your boyfriend has closed the distance between you two. He sweeps you off your feet, strong arms picking you up to hold you bridal style. 
“Hey!” You scream.
“I’m sorry.” He murmurs with a soft smile, before he playfully throws you inside the fort, your back hitting an array of pillows. You squeal in response and he is quick to follow you inside. You look around and he’s put a lot of effort in – he even used the bar stools so that you’d have more room. He sits beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulls you to his side. 
“Please forgive me.” He whispers into your ear, kissing all over your face and neck as you protest. 
“‘Hiro!” You laugh, trying to fight him off but it’s fruitless. You enjoy his proximity and even, you recognize the fact that he’s doing his best to cheer you up.
You can’t help the giggle that bubbles up from your throat as he restlessly starts attacking you with his affection.
 Then, you forget why you were even mad in the first place.
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