#the elephant is there in my heart :) and its soft

[luveline]

we know that the criminal minds writers looooved hurting spencer but i would love to see bau!reader (bombshell!reader if you think it would fit) hurt and spencer losing his mind a little (ofc everything would end up being okay because we love fluff in this house 💗)! thank youuu <333

ty for requesting! ♡ fem, 1k

“Spencer, are you coming in?” 

The boy in question winces, the cellophane wrapped stems in his hand strangled by an anxious grip. Your voice is hoarse, quieter than usual, though that could be attributed to the thick wooden door between you both. He takes the door handle in his hand, readjusts his fingers, can't quite get himself to go in. 

“Spence,” you say, missing your usual cheer. “Please come in.” 

He opens the door slowly. It weighs a hundred pounds, each inch heavier than the last. 

You're propped up on the movable bed with a dinner table over your legs. Someone's brought you contraband, it seems, expensive soup from the fancy restaurant you like just outside of work. Next to it lies your phone, your chapstick, and a prescription bottle. The orange of it is too glaring to look at for long. 

“Nice to see you finally, heart-throb,” you say, sitting back, rolling your shoulders as you smile. “Where've you been?” 

Sapped by terror in the waiting room, mostly. “Sorry,” he says, offering no explanation. You deserve one, but he can't get the words out. “How are you feeling?” 

“Shot at.” 

“Is it bad?” 

Your eyes soften. “No. Wanna see it?” 

He does in an awful way. To alleviate his panic, sure, but to know what it did. To see what his stupidity resulted in. The unforgivable in stark scarring. 

You lift your shirt and shift your soft bralette up a touch to show him the wound and all its grim stitches. “It almost missed me. Guess I'm not as lucky as I think.” 

“Does it hurt?” 

“Not right now. They told me not to wear wire bras for a while, so you win some, you lose some.” You let your shirt fall back into place. He can see the indecision in your eyes. Not one for hiding like he wants to, you address the elephant in the room. “Now you've seen it's not so bad, can you look at me again?” 

“I'm looking at you.” 

“You know what I mean.” 

The thing is, Spencer doesn't, not really. Half the time you act like you're sharing a secret with him but he doesn't have a clue what you're talking about, and the intimacy is lost, and it's his fault. He's never been good or smooth or charismatic, he's never deserved your attention, and it's his fault you're here, hurting, his fault you'd been prone on the ground, his fault Morgan had to hold your side closed, his fault you almost died. 

“Spencer,” you murmur, “you know I don't blame you.” 

Of course he knows that. 

“You should,” he says tightly. He doesn't mean to get angry. 

“Well, I don't. So give me my flowers and sit down.” 

He bites the inside of his cheek. He's mad, but he gives you the flowers without any roughness, and you take them with a similarly thin thank you. 

Your reunion isn't going how either of you wants it to, it seems. 

Spencer sits in the chair next to your bed as you pick between the petals, admiring their colours, their softness. For a moment you're peaceful, but you close your eyes and press your nose gently to a small bud, and you ask, “Why are you acting like this?” Heartbroken. 

He could explain it in halves. You passed out in the back of the ambulance. Your surgery had unexpected complications. Hotch was so angry, and he still wasn't as mad at Spencer as Spencer was at himself. 

Seeing you hurt because of his mistake isn't a feeling he thinks he'll survive a second time.

“I don't get why you like me,” Spencer admits. “Not before, and especially not now. You should be pissed. This,” —he gestures to you quickly— “is my fault.” 

“It's not your fault, Spence.” 

“What would you call it?” 

You put your flowers down and stare at your lap. He's pushed you too far. Nice, he thinks to himself scathingly, to upset you in your sick bed, that's exactly what he should be doing to make it up to. Great going, Spencer. 

“Will you hold my hand?” you ask quietly. 

He hesitates, his heart skipping a beat like a missed step down the stairs. 

“Please? I just… this has been a lot. I'm not telling you to make you feel guilty, I swear, but it's been a lot. And so many times I wished someone was here. I wished you were here.” You turn your head away from him. “I thought you were mad at me. I'm still worried.” 

Spencer stands up. He feels every stretch of muscle as he does it. You raise your eyes to his, holding out your hands; you know him better than anyone else, he thinks. He overcompensates every time. 

“I'm sorry,” he says, crossing his arms behind your shoulders carefully. 

“I told you it's not your fault.” 

“For not being here to hold your hand.” 

Your hand curls in the front of his shirt. 

“M'not mad. Not even slightly. I mean, not at you…” He rubs your back with his thumb. “Why would I be mad at you?” 

“What was I supposed to think?” 

He presses his nose to your temple, eyes squeezed close in regret. “...You're right.” 

This is what he should've done the moment you woke up. Instead, he let his mind focus on detail, what flowers demarcates remorse, or if cellophane wrapping would be an imposition. Anything to forget how your hands shook as the adrenaline wore off. 

They're steady now as they wrap around his sides to rest at the small of his back. 

“I’m sorry,” he says again, lips touching to your skin with each syllable, like fractions of kisses. 

“I missed you, handsome. Please– don't do that again.” 

He rubs your back. “I won't,” he promises. “I'll be here as long as you want me to be.” 

“Forever, then.” 

For once, your flirting doesn't make him blush. 

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

[girl-of-many-fandoms]

Ocean Blue Eyes // 2

Pairing: Percy Jackson x Reader

Warning: none

Part 1 Part 2

MASTERLIST

---

From afar Percy could easily make out the silhouette of the girl who unknowingly stole his heart. He couldn't take his eyes off of her as she sat on a log staring out into the horizon.

The cool breeze caressed her skin sending a shiver up her spine. Y/N regretted leaving her zip-up jacket in her cabin but she didn't initially plan to sit here this long. However, when the sun began to set she couldn't leave without taking in the beauty of the sky. Hues of yellow and gold painted the sky as the sun slowly said goodbye to Camp Half-Blood.

It's been a few days since her and Percy shared a moment together a couple feet away from where she currently sat. She vividly remembers the way he stared at her, his touch, the way his soft lips felt against hers.

Percy has been trying to find a way to talk to Y/N. He wasn't sure if he had made the right choice kissing his friend or if he blew his shot entirely. He saw her shiver once more and removed his grey hoodie before making his way over to her.

Y/N jumped slightly at the feeling of something being draped over her shoulders. She didn't have to guess whose jacket now laid on her shoulders as the familiar and comforting scent of her friend filled her nostrils.

"Hey you."

"Hey stranger."

Percy joined her on the log and for a moment they didn't say a word, they just sat in each other’s presence, both trying to figure out how to approach the elephant in the room.

"So uh-"

"I'm so-"

The pair giggled at their attempt at sparking a conversation. The blue eyed demigod gestured for her to go first.

"Ladies first." He said.

"Well...uhh..how have you been?"

"Seriously?" Percy quirked an eyebrow at her with a smirk on his face making Y/N’s cheeks heat up. Y/N nodded her head causing Percy to laugh.

"Fine. For the past couple days I've been trying to figure out if I may have eternally screwed up our friendship and I might have since you've avoided me since then."

"I wasn't avoiding you." Y/N immediately got defensive but Percy proceeded to list out the many occasions she avoided him.

"Oh really? You haven't jogged past my cabin since then like you normally would, you've changed your route. I tried to have lunch with you yesterday but you took off when you saw me heading towards you. You also ditched training with me to train with Clarisse."

Truth be told he was hurt. Hurt by the fact that she chose to avoid him at all costs. Y/N turned to face him and he did the same, their knees now touched each other.

"I only kept my distance because I didn't know how this conversation would go. I wasn't ready to hear you say that you made a mistake by kissing me and that we should remain friends, isn't that what you're going to say?" Although she didn’t show it, she was anxious. She didn't know what words were going to come out of his mouth but she was betting on him regretting the kiss.

"For someone so smart, you're so clueless sometimes." Percy's lips turned up into a smile, watching as confusion etched its way onto her face.

"What?"

Without giving her a chance to think about what's happening, Percy cupped both her cheeks with his hands and pulled her in for a kiss. Y/N didn't hesitate to kiss him back as she gently held onto his forearm.

This kiss was much more intense compared to the last one as they both tried to pour all their emotions into it. Somewhere along the line they both remembered they needed air and slowly broke the kiss. Percy pressed his forehead against hers and interlaced their fingers together.

"Did that say I want us to be just friends?"

"No, not at all."

Percy kissed the top of her head as she snuggled closed into him. He didn't know where this would take them but he knew for sure that he would do anything for the girl in his arms.

As for Y/N, she too didn't know what the future holds but she was certain that they'd face whatever comes their way together.

#percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson x you #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson

[icabrth]

Childish

pairings: edward cullen x fem!reader

summary: your boyfriend finally finds out about your childish secret.

warnings: none

main masterlist

The two of you were such an unlikely pair; he was dark and vampiric (literally), while you were naïve and childish – searching for the good in everyone. Neither of your friends would’ve ever thought of or even considered you guys together. You weren’t overly emotional and you still acted your age, you just viewed the world a little differently. However, due to this he didn’t exactly know just how different you were until visited your house for the first time, to help you with an assignment.

You were busy tidying up all the clutter in your bedroom, and shoving a pile of clothing under your bed when Edward suddenly knocked on your window, startling you. You turned to the source of vibrations, eyes locking with the ones of your boyfriend.

You zoned out for a short moment, before snapping back to reality at the realization that all of your plushies were still scattered everywhere from your bed to the top of your wardrobe. Immediately shutting the curtains as you scrambled to pick everything up and hide everything. As you did, you didn’t miss the smirk forming itself on your face.

Just as you were about to pick up your favorite stuffed toy “Sunny”, (which was a grey elephant with Dumbo-like-ears) Edward beat you to it. As he carefully inspected it, you found a suddenly found the floor patterns very interesting. “Listen, they’re not mine–!” You pleaded, timidly lifting your head to meet his gaze. Though, you were met with surprise at his expression.

He was smiling – grinning, in fact. His teasing smile fit perfectly with his squinting blue eyes, you thought. The glimpse in his eyes stunned you, and you could no longer move as your body wanted you to. He spoke up, “Sunny, huh?”. You furrowed your eyebrows at him and he chuckled.

“I can read thoughts, remember?”

“Babe, I told you not to read my thoughts anymore!” You wined, stomping your foot as you snatched the plushie away from him. You sat down on the bed, facing away from him, huffing. You acted out of awkwardness in situations like this as you never really knew how to handle them.

Edward pulled you out of your thoughts and into his arms, the two of you positioned leaning against the bed frame. He kissed your cheek plenty times as his ice cold, firm hands came in contact with your chest. The way he did it was nowhere near sexual, he simply enjoyed being able to keep up with your heartbeat. “you’re adorable, you know?” He started as he played around with the elephant, holding it by its giant ears. “Is this one your favorite?” He asked you in a baby voice.

“Don’t talk to me like that!” You laughed, “it’s not like I’m a baby or anything – I just like having these plushies, it’s nostalgic”. Although Edward couldn’t read your emotions, he practically sensed the way your heart fell.

“Hey, hey! You know I didn’t mean it like that!” His voice was soft, even when he raised it. “I get it, I still hold onto my first prom suit from the 1900s”.

“Did you even have prom back then? You giggled into his chest. “Sort of, I guess it was more like a ball”

#edward Cullen x reader #twilight x reader #x reader #twilight #fluff #fem!reader #Robert Pattinson x reader

[kamotecue]

meet her in the afterglow ❁ caitlin foord

pairing: caitlin foord x reader

part two of here

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

it’s been days since the argument, neither one have decided to fix things, maybe you both were just busy? or you just wanted to ignore the gigantic elephant in the room.

but you sat near the window, noise cancelling headphones listening to music in your own world. there were small chatter coming from your teammates that you didn’t feel anyone occupy the seat beside you.

until a blanket was placed over your lap, making you turn your head to see the aussie you were one hundred percent in love with. she intertwined your hands underneath the blanket, her thumb slightly caressing your hand.

tell me that you’re still mine

she gave you a small smile, however it didn’t reached her eyes. you returned it before turning back to look outside the window. it was the game against linköping, the swedish team.

tell me that we’ll be just fine

the team was getting ready for the game, everyone did their pre-game rituals, however you didn’t. unbeknownst to others, your pre-game ritual was with caitlin, it was just a pre-game kiss following by a tight hug where she’d kiss the top of your head, seeing as you were a bit shorter than her standing at 5’4.

even when i lose my mind

you couldn’t function well during the pre-game talk, you’d subconsciously bounce your leg leg. a small habit that caitlin noticed, so she softly looked at you across the room. however she avoided looking as she caught vic’s knowingly eyes.

i need to say

she had noticed the way her national teammate and a certain forward looked at each other. maybe it was the small glances you’d take, or how the physical touch you shared, the simple hugs, the handshakes, or the interlocked pinkies.

tell me that it’s not my fault

as the rest of the team headed out, the substitute players went to the bench along with the rest of the staff, while the starting XI went to the tunnel. caitlin had stopped you, and pulled you to a hug.

“when the game is done, can we make things right? i don’t like fighting with you, puddin.” caitlin asked, as you nodded. you gave her a soft smile, as she wrapped her arms around your waist pulling you closer. she gently placed a longingly kiss on your forehead, before she went out.

tell me that i’m all you want

you joined the others on the substitute bench, taking a seat beside vic who gave you a look, to which you just shrugged. you watched as caitlin scored in the 53rd minute, as she celebrated making a heart with her hands.

a smile made its way to your face, as you knew why she did it. it was your iconic celebration, whenever you scored an international goal, you’d make different types of hearts to the crowd.

even when i break your heart

in the 58th minute, you were subbed on taking Frida out. you made a quick change to the game, as you tapped the ball in the 67th minute scoring the second goal of the game.

it was something that no one expected, in the 85th minute you went down after a tackle from the opposing member. you laid on the grass, as you felt the rush of pain throughout your leg.

caitlin was first to reach you, as she called for the medics.

“are you alright?” she asked, as you nodded. she looked at the midfielder who tackled you, giving her a glare.

“it seems like you’d have to get subbed off.” the physio said, as you gave him a nod, not refusing. you stayed in the medical room, until the game was over. caitlin was first to check up on you, as she made her way to the door, and you gave her a small smile. she wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer as she roughly gave you a kiss.

a sound of a bottle dropped, as she broke away turning to the door to see lia and vic stunned.

“holy shit.” vic said, as you hid your face in caitlin’s chest. you heard her laugh as she knew you were embarrassed.

“i’m glad you’re happy, foord.” lia said, giving her a soft smile as caitlin nodded. they may have broken up but they were on good terms.

“you as well.” caitlin said, as you pinched her causing her to pout. you just looked at her in adoration as the four of you laughed.

#caitlin foord #caitlin foord x reader #caitlin foord imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso one shot #arsenal wfc imagine #matlidas x reader

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics in which a character had experienced abuse of some form in the past as requested in this ask. Please don't forget to leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here.

- Louis/Harry -

🧱 Run Like the Devil by benzos

(E, 143k, Supernatural au) Louis hunts demons; Harry's the strangest demon he's ever met, and he keeps fucking meeting him.

🧱 Saving Symphony Hall by @helloamhere

(E, 124k, omegaverse) “That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

🧱 Hang there like fruit, my soul/Till the tree die by louloubaby92 / @louloubabys1992

(M, 111k, omegaverse) Louis knows he's a defective omega. He knows its also not his fault but it is what it is. He takes the world head on even when the world is unkind to him. 

🧱 Give Me Truths by iwillpaintasongforlou / @canonlarry

(E, 110k, punk Louis) the one in which Louis falls in love with a fragile boy and tells him every beautiful truth in the world, as long as it makes him happy.

🧱 The Naked Truth by @larrysmomfics

(E, 80k, Naked Attraction au) The producers of Naked Attraction decide to do a 'Second Chances' edition of the show where past contestants who didn't find love on the show the first time can re-apply in hopes that the second time's a charm. 

🧱 Here In The Afterglow by fondleeds

(NR, 88k, historical) 1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

🧱 Shout It From The Rooftops by therogueskimo / @bravetemptation

(M, 70k, PTSD) Plagued by memories of the worst day of his life, Louis Tomlinson feels like he’s constantly living in darkness. Harry Styles might just be the person to bring him back to the light.

🧱 These High Walls by LarryAlways28

(E, 68k, omegaverse) Born to one of Seattle's wealthiest families,  Harry was raised exactly as a Styles heir should be: sharp as a tack, witty, charming, and powerful. He was the ideal son - until he presented as an Omega.

🧱 you're ripped at every edge, but you're a masterpiece by Valentia

(E, 50k, uni) The one where Harry is soft and pretty but doesn't see it and Louis just wants to love him the way he deserves.

🧱 elephant juice by @stylinsoncity

(M, 32k, uni) harry doesn't understand boundaries. louis doesn't mind at all.

🧱 With These Arms Folded by @taggiecb

(NR, 21k, famous/not famous) Harry Styles is living a peaceful existence in California as a very successful songwriter. That is until he receives a curious email one sunny summer morning, and his life almost immediately gets turned upside down buy a force that's bigger than any storm he's seen outside his window.

🧱 why take your life when you give it so willingly by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 19k, pirates) When Louis Tomlinson, Captain of The Rogue, ends up adrift at sea after Captain Cowell attacks his ship, he is surprised to find his enemy, Captain Styles, coming to his rescue.

🧱 vatican cameos by nightwideopen / @themarshalstale

(T, 14k, asexuality) sometimes louis gets sad and sometimes harry lets louis write on him

🧱 Just a touch of your love by @thegirlontheblackhoodie

(E, 12k, omegaverse) Harry is a touch starved omega trying to get through it on his own. Louis happens to be the only alpha around to realize it and offers to help.

🧱 You've Got A New Life (Am I Bothering you?) by LilyBlue28

(NR, 5k, omegaverse) the one where Louis is an omega who suffers from PTSD and is triggered one day. He doesn't know how to ask for help from his doting alpha, doesn't think he deserves it, and tries to handle it on his own.

🧱 I Don't Wanna Hurt Anymore by offwiththeirheads / @hazzabooween

(M, 5k, kidfic) Harry walks a thin line between breaking his best friend’s heart and fighting a losing battle.

- Rare Pairs -

🧱 Sugar, We're Going Down by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketships

(E, 131k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) At 37, Nick has everything he could possibly want in life: huge success in business, a Bachelor of the Year award hanging in his toilet, piles of money, and a rather odd little habit of visiting a cafe with terrible service on his way into the office every morning.

🧱 It's You by happily_missy

(E, 56k, Zayn/Liam) Liam is a PA for a famous fashion designer and Zayn is their gorgeous new model.

#ficrec #1dficvillage #pastabuse #trackinghappily #trackinghome #tracksintheam #hlcreators #hljournal #1dsource #larry fanfiction #ziam fanfiction #tomlinshaw fanfction #weeklyficrec

[totothewolff]

Season of Love (6/?)

+18 | Toto x reader fem!teamprincipal, romance, comedy, and some good drama.

Summary: One night on a pier in Monaco, while admiring the sea under the night skies, you tell Toto: "I came to the conclusion that love is simply not meant for me." That's the answer to a question you have been asking yourself for the longest time. But what if he proved you wrong? Author's note: This is a multichapter Toto Wolff x team principal reader fic set along a season of F1. It's a very immersive story full of drivers, team dynamics, races, mystery, and smut. You just bought the Williams team, but nobody really knows who you truly are.

< Previous chapter | Masterlist | Next chapter >

Dances with Wolff Arc Chapter 6: Collision at Turn "Your Heart"

UK

Sam and Toto go to the Soft Serve Society in London the following day to have milkshakes. They share a sizeable Instagram-able shake, asking for two straws instead of one. 

The place is intimate and small, perfect for chatting. Its location in a trendy neighborhood gives Sam the ideal excuse to pull that Thom Browne boyish suit out of her suitcase.

As Sam is asking for two matcha cookies to complement their order, she notices Toto smiling like an idiot at his iPhone screen.

—Wow, that time you two spent apart did wonders for your relationship. I thought it was a "cease and desist" situation, as if there wouldn't be a turning point, but I haven't seen you like this in a long time.

—How? —Toto moves his gaze to Sam, a bit perplexed.

—Stupidly in love. So you two are genuinely back?

—Oh, that... well, we are trying this open relationship thing. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about it.

Sam gives him a judgy look, her eyebrows slightly frowning. —Let me guess. Susie suggested it; you said no, then she pressured you, and you followed along. There is no need to explain further; I get it.

Toto shrugs and barely nods his head.

—It's always what Susie wants, isn't it? You are so blind sometimes —she sounds now annoyed.

—I thought you, of all people, would get it. You see love differently than in the traditional way. Preferences aside, you are more free regarding feelings and partners.

—Yes, yet I'm not into playing with other people's feelings. 

—I'm not being played or playing with her feelings.

—To which one of the two hers are you referring?

A silence.

It's the first time Sam addresses the elephant in the room. 

—Listen, I don't want to overstep, and God knows I don't want to get in the middle; I love you both; yes, I said that, and stop smiling like that, but for fuck sake, you two need to communicate and talk! LIKE TALK! I know it's not my place, and I have tried to remain as neutral as possible, but I genuinely care about Y/N; there's more you need to know about each other because this thing is going to blow in your faces the worst way.

—What's on this? Is this really happening? You telling me how you are feeling? —Toto picks up the shake to smell it, making a funny face and trying to lighten the mood. He also avoids giving Sam an answer but pays attention to her every word.

—Oh, fuck off —Sam pushes him a bit roughly.

—Sugar sure is a drug! —Toto's holding a laugh.

-

—How did your day out with Toto go?

—How do you know we went out? Stalker!

In response, you give Sam an exaggerated insulted expression (hand over your chest and open wide mouth). —He texted me when you two were at the ice cream place! He even sent me these pictures! —you show her the conversation. —By the way, that outfit of yours is CUTE!

—Oh! It was you then —she says quickly and softly.

—Sorry? —you look at Sam as if another head grew from her neck.

—Oh, nothing. Toto didn't mention anything. He was just smiling like an idiot and giggling like a teenager, looking all in love at his phone screen.

—All what? Sam, what you said?! —you feel your heart in your throat.

—Did you follow my advice? —she cuts your shenanigans.

—I tried to follow it and address our "situation," but he rushed to get wine. He ran from the conversation, and I didn't feel like having it much, either. I knew how it was going to end.

—Well, keep pushing, trust me.

—Is there something I should worry about? —you suddenly stop and look straight at her.

—It's not my place to tell —Sam answers neutrally.

Then you two board your jet with directions home, your new home, Monaco. 

Now, thanks to Sam's words, an eerie sentiment fills your head. Is she trying to warn you something?

-

It's a quiet flight; well, if it wasn't for Samanta's snoring, not even an English Bulldog snores that loud. 

Which makes you laugh hard; you have forgotten how terrible Sam sleeps. 

It's been a while since you two slept nearby, which was the most common thing for all those years you lived at the Manor.

You have always been very much like sisters.

You take out your phone and start recording a video of Sam sound asleep with T-rex arms, open mouth, and loudly snoring, all weirdly placed on the comfy, big seat next to you.

-

Monaco

Why, every time you land in Monaco, your mind is in desperate need of a Toto detox?

-

As soon as you are in the car ride home, you hit the send button on the "Get a grip, loca🏎!" group chat.

After you share the video of Sam sleeping, a long list of replies and reactions appear in the group.

She threatens to murder you in your sleep.

-

Two nights after being back, when Charles enters the apartment wearing the world's most oversized outfit while trying to juggle four bottles of wine - one held under his chin - and a big fancy grocery bag while avoiding stepping on "Robbie" - your Roomba robot - you feel so at home; this couldn't be a more domestic scene for you two before you rush to help him.

Never mind, too late! Now, the kitchen floor looks like a crime scene. 

God, how much you missed him! Keeping your friendship while hiding it from the rest of the Scuderia has been difficult. 

Ferrari is a hermetic group that likes it that way; being extra friendly with the enemy could cost Charles' head, thanks to Binotto's paranoia.

—FUCK! FUCK AND FUCK! —he lets out, looking at the now red floor, followed by various French cursings coming out of that pouty mouth. 

—At least the other three survived —you hear Sam say, entering behind him and holding two more bottles and a cake.

—Several bottles of wine and lots of food. This is an intervention for me, isn't it? —you ask, looking at them suspiciously.

Both of them energetically nod.

—We need to talk about Bruno —Charles jokes; he obviously means Toto while grabbing the paper towel on the kitchen counter to try cleaning his mess, which is as useless as you expected.

—Damn —is all you let out.

At some point, Charles gives up and prefers leaving a fat tip and a Post-it for Rosita when she comes clean tomorrow morning.

-

—Hi, I have a quick question: How much do you weigh?

A text from Toto comes in the early hours of the day as you are about to hit the treadmill in your luxurious building's training center. You rushed down there, unable to sleep a second more.

After the intervention, you comprehend lots of things need to change.

—(Y/N's weight), why? —you reply. 

It's still dark outside.

Only you and three others are alone in the enormous gym section, which feels quiet and isolated, perfect for decompressing. 

Apparently, when Toto and you are apart, you are both early birds. It's always a snooze fest when you two are tangled in sheets. Probably, it's because he makes the world's most fabulous pillow or because he loves having you wrapped in his arms.

Judging by his text's unusual hours, he may be overthinking it too. Lately, you have felt driven to exercise earlier in the morning as well to avoid losing your sanity.

A couple of minutes later, a video of Toto adjusting the weight of his barbells to your weight before doing a couple of hip thrusts comes as a reply.

You watch the video a couple of times, okay, several times, before hitting the reply button. —I can help you do some repetitions if you want; I know a very effective routine! My trainer also advised me I needed more cardio —you tease him, feeling a tingle down there, hehe. 

Fuck! You are falling for it again, and you just swore to Sam and Charles that there would be no Toto during this break!

As Toto reads your text, a pleased smirk forms on his lips, and then he exhales and returns to exercise. 

He shouldn't be feeling this desperate for your attention. It has been only the first week without seeing you.

The way you have turned his life upside down is unimaginable.

-

—Your girl is in town! —Normani sends a selfie of herself in the group chat, throwing a pose on the Monaco pier, looking flawless and stylish in a two-piece Casablanca outfit (an orange thee with colorful stripes and shorty shorts and pulling the coolest glasses) while blowing a kiss. —Let's hang out tonight!😈😈

—OH, I KNOW JUST THE PLACE —Lando writes back.

—Italy.

Several "???" appear.

—I'm in Italy —Seb clarifies.

Now, it makes sense.

—Someone needs to help Seb with this, really —George says.

—Let's take him to one of those free classes at the Apple store, you know, with the senior citizens —Checo jokes. —I'm with Carola's parents and the kids in Guadalajara, so we are out of the fun this time.

—Tell Carola I love her —you request Checo.

—I will, thx.

—I don't wish for an apple, thank you —Seb replies.

—Dear God —Lewis texts.

—Jk! Jk! I'm not that inept, and I'm not yet a senior citizen, but soon, 2032 let's go! —Seb exits the conversation.

—Lando, send the location —Lewis texts. —That's great to know, Seb. I'm already saving for our turbo wheelchairs to challenge you in races at the retirement home.

—There, see you guys at 1 a.m.

—I want to live enough to witness that, Lewis —Mick enters the conversation.

—This club looks like a shithole! I don't wish for my organs to get stolen —Charles points out after looking for the place on Google Maps; it's only a run-down facade photo of the place in a not-that-neat street.

—Trust me, you are going to love it —Lando comments.

—Is it private? —Lewis asks. —Cause last time we went out in London, getting us out of there was a nightmare.

—That's precisely why I'm suggesting this place!

—Spain.

—I'm in Spain —Carlos texts, mocking Seb. —Have fun without me, guys, even though I don't think you can. Send pictures. I miss you, my friends.

—Te extraño, too🙇‍♀️ —you reply, Carlos, you have become fond of him.

—🥰🥰 —Carlos sends.

—I'm liking this sketchy, mysterious place already —Sam joins in.

—Sam, is Millie still in town? —you ask her, you met Millie for brunch two days ago.

—No, I already left 😭😭😭. Mick invited me to hike in Patagonia—a photo of them out in nature follows her text. 

—Okay, the ones who are going, please send a hands-up emoji; I'm booking the table —Lando texts.

-

You make your way through the winding streets of Monaco on Charles' bike at full speed; you are sure you flashed at least four people with that party mini dress you are wearing as you head to the mysterious nightclub. 

As soon as you park, you agree with Charles that it looks like a sketchy part of town, but the faint sound of pulsing music and the flickering lights emanating from a door down a narrow corridor between two buildings right in front of you quickly distract you and guides you in.

Soon, as you enter and go down the long stairs, you are immediately enveloped in a world of luxury "decadence." 

The atmosphere is electric, and the air is heavy with the scent of exotic perfumes. 

—It smells like good sex —is what Lando tells you as he greets you, looking at your two "trying to discover the scent" faces.

The walls are decorated with striking artwork, each more provocative and daring than the last.

For sure, this place is the stage for many wild escapades.

As almost everyone gets there, the group is drawn to the center of the club, near where the main stage, lit up with swirling lights and seductive, almost naked dancers. 

Your table in the VIP area "it has the best location in the place", again, according to Lando.

As you sit next to Nomani, who gave you the world's greatest greeting hug, you get mesmerized by the hypnotic rhythm of the music and the dancers' graceful motions. 

You get transfixed, unable to tear your eyes away from them. Gorgeous he/she/they are on the stage.

—Beer, gin, what are we drinking? —Normani asks you.

—Tequila —you answer too quickly for her and Sam's amusement.

—Tequila, it is! —she says loudly and makes a little dance, shaking the girls around. The more than happy waiter witnesses it before getting the bottle.

You pour everyone a shot to start the night. Lewis just arrived, and George is running late as usual.

—Can you smell it? —you ask everyone.

A couple of "What?" come along.

—The regret —you joke as you all take the shot.

The group then goes full party core, joining the pulsating dance floor and losing themselves in the music. 

Laughter and shouts fill the air as the exotic dancers approach you and the crowd to exchange some sensual moves.

Amidst the chaos and allure of the night, Toto arrives. Unexpectedly.

Charles and Sam instantly look at you, almost throwing you darts.

—I swear to God I didn't invite him!

George did.

-

As alcohol skyrockets Lando, he starts doing push-ups for you in the middle of the dance floor as a techno-dub mix of Olivia Newton John's and Dua Lipa's "Physical" starts playing while he looks straight at you.

—Is that supposed to impress me? —you raise an eyebrow, cross your arms, and lean on Lewis, who is also witnessing the action.

—Is it working?

—Never stop believing in your dreams —you laugh it off, and Toto playfully rolls his eyes at him, then winks at you.

"Oh, God, I'm weak! I'm not going to resist the temptation."

—The dancer with the jockstrap hasn't taken his eyes off you the entire night —Toto points out for Normani, gesturing to which one he refers.

Normani makes a "definitely wouldn't mind" expression. —Too bad I don't do one-night stands —she confesses.

—Like ever? —Lewis looks at her like she is from Mars.

—Hopeless romantic right here! —Normi answers. —I like to party, but I'm so old-fashioned. Thanks, Mom!

—What a classy lady, indeed! —George says.

—It's my Britishness britishing —she jokes. —I want a husband, a big house in the countryside, horses and babies, you know, the traditional.

—Like, literally, this is the worst place to discuss family! —Sam warns them with a "Don't kill the mood, guys" look.

—The worst! —you all burst out laughing.

—I'm not sure if she is messing with us or..? —Lando comes closer to saying to Charles.

—No, really! It's my biggest wish. I can't wait to be a mom! —Normani lets out. 

—But you are so young! —everyone looks so shocked at her. Quite the revelation!

—I KNOW, but I want four! So, I better hurry up.

—FOUR?!! —everyone kind of screams in response.

Normani looks at them with a big smile, happy with the chaos her confession is causing.

—I get you, girl. I do love one myself; I have wanted to be a mom for years now. I feel I'm close to adopting one, but I need to do something with my schedule first. It would be impossible with a baby!

Toto listens to your conversation, very quiet and still, looking as if something inside him broke.

-

—Hey, I want to talk to you privately. I have something important to tell you; it's been on my mind for a while —Toto approaches you to whisper in your ear.

—Oh, sure, yeah —you agree to. "Okay, breathe, the moment it's coming."

When you reach a quiet spot to talk without all the people buzzing around, the loud background noises, and the almost butt-naked performers, you two remain there in an awkward silence for a minute.

Toto looks like he wants to say something but doesn't, so you break the ice first, feeling your hands shaking a bit.

—So what do you want to tell me that's so important?

He looks straight at you and takes two steps to close the distance between you. —Ahem, so... so what are you planning for... for the off-season? —he takes you off guard.

"Okay, this is not what I was expecting."

—I... I don't know... yet.

—Maybe we could spend it together. I know a private island that would be perfect —Toto offers you, totally improvising.

—Oh, I see...

—I mean... if you want to.

—No, no, of course, I want to!

—Perfect, then —he says, his voice deep. Toto then takes your hand, and you're surprised by the warmth from his touch.

"Coward" "Selfish" is all Toto thinks for himself. "But I don't want to lose her. I need her just a bit more. I don't know how to quit her."

—What do you say if we continue this conversation somewhere even more private? —Toto invites you, his intense dark eyes piercing right through you. 

Before you have time to respond, he takes your hand and leads you toward the exit at the back of the place and into his car.

Soon, you arrive at his luxurious penthouse, abandoning almost all of your party clothes in the process. 

You glance around the dimly lit living room, admiring its opulence. The walls are decorated with fine art, and the scent of wealth lingers in every corner.

Toto, already bare-chested, removes the rest of his clothes, revealing himself. You can't help but stare at his toned abs, defined muscles, and delicious dick. 

He smirks, noticing your admiration, and pushes you closer to the sofa. It creaks softly under your weight as he sits you down, eyes locked onto each other.

—You're stunning —Toto says while tracing his fingers down your body as you remove your last piece of clothing.

Your pulse quickens at his touch, and you move in, pressing your lips hard against his.

Toto's tongue sneaks its way between your parted lips as he pulls your naked body close to his. You moan softly.

Slowly, he leans back onto the plush pillows, taking you with him. Your bodies intertwine in a passionate embrace, enjoying the heat from his broad chest into you as you run your hands all over him, feeling every inch of Toto pressing against your core.

He grabs you by the hips, grinding you against him forcefully, causing an excited whimper to escape your lips. You can't help but crave his every single inch.

Sliding yourself lower, you feel him harden beneath you. —Fuck, you're so hard —you whisper into his ear as you stroke his length up and down. 

Toto flips you onto your back, not letting you control the show yet, spreading your legs wide. He effortlessly glides both of his hands beneath your ass, lifting you up like you weigh nothing.

His left-hand squeezes your ass cheek possessively while his right supports your lower back. Then Toto lowers his mouth to your inner thigh, his tongue trailing a path of wetness up to your core, where he tastes you. 

You gasp, your breath hitching whenever his tongue flicks your clit.

Plunging his tongue deep inside you, he tastes the sweetness of your essence. Moving back up to your clit, he sucks hard, provoking you to tremble under the pleasure.

Your fingers entangle his thick hair, tugging and pushing as waves of delight roll over your body. 

Toto stares at your swollen clit and massages it gently, building an almost unbearable tension in the pit of your stomach before he slides first one finger, then two inside of you, feeling you tighten around them as he moves them in deliberate circles.

—What the fuck, you feel incredible —he mumbles against your folds. He increases his pace, sucking harder, flicking faster until you are shuddering against him, gasping for breath, about to break apart.

Your vision gets blurry as an involuntary moan escapes your lips.

—I'm so fucking close —you cry out, inarticulate with pleasure. Toto looks up and climbs back up your body, kissing and nipping at your soft flesh as he goes up until his thighs are between yours.

—You want me to make you come, don't you? —he whispers seductively, nibbling on your earlobe.

You nod, biting your lip. You need Toto to fill you, to end this unbearable craving he had built inside you.

—Please, Toto —you beg, thrusting your hips upward. A desperate whimper tears from your throat when your sexes don't meet.

Toto chuckles softly, smirking at your desperation. —Then fuck me —he murmurs, placing you on top of him, inviting you to ride him right there, inviting you to guide him inside of you. —Fuck me hard.

The feeling of him filling you up, inch by inch, sends waves of ecstasy through your body. —Oh, god, yes —you moan, encouraging him deeper.

Your bodies move together in perfect harmony as you ride waves of pleasure. Toto grunts and groans with each bounce, whispering obscenities in your ear as you cowgirl him with an arched back, panting heavily. Wetness pools between you as your sweat-slicked bodies slap together rhythmically.

Toto grabs your hands and pins them behind your back, changing the angle of his thrusts. He hits a spot deep within you that sends shivers down your spine, producing a guttural moan from your lips. 

He smirks at the sound and repeats the action, watching your reaction with fascination.

—Fuuck —you cry out, every muscle tensing as your fingers curl into fists. 

Toto continues to plow into you, each thrust harder and deeper than the last, making your tits bounce without control, making you a mess. 

You look down at him to see your bodies moving in a slick rhythm, leaving trails of sweat and lust on your skin. He looks wild, eyes burning with desire and mouth parted in a low growl as the scent of sex permeates the air around you.

You whimper as he releases one of your wrists, allowing you to wrap your hand around your breast. Your fingers tease your sensitive nipple, sending a fresh wave of sensation flooding through you.

Toto watches you touch yourself, entranced by the movement of your hand on your breast as his thrusts become erratic.

—Fuck, you're so goddamn beautiful —he mutters roughly, his hips slamming into yours hard. The sound of your bodies colliding resonates throughout the room, mixing with your erratic breathing. 

—You like that? —Toto asks, smirking at your eager expression. You feel yourself getting closer to the edge, ready to burst at any moment.

Toto's dark eyes pierce into you, watching every twitch of your face and every moan of breath.

His thrusts become more deliberate, each one pressing into your womb.

—Fuckkk —Toto groans loudly, struggling to contain himself. His muscles tense as he gives it to you very fast; sweat drips down his face, onto his chest, and you.

—Toto! —you moan very loud as you come all over his dick.

—I need you —he confesses to you as he is about to come. You bounce hard and desperately on his cock, till you hear him grunting loud; a mess of panting Toto fills you up.

-

Ferrari's big anniversary is coming up next weekend, and they are set to throw the biggest party ever, a very fancy gala that will take place in Rome, or so Charles discloses to you.

—I'm actually excited for this one! —then he turns to show you the jewelry bracelet he likes before trying it on while cheerfully chit-chatting.

—This one is more your style, I like it better —you agree with his pick, as you two are out shopping.

While the sales lady adjusts it to his wrist measurements, Charles continues telling you: —This party has been in the making for so long, and all the rumors we have been hearing about it from the planners keep getting better; it honestly sounds so good!

You attentively listen to him while trying on a set of butterfly diamond earrings. Yes, you need them.

He continues: —I really wish I could take you like my plus one! But I'm taking my mom; I promised her way before meeting you.

—Oh, sweetie, no worries! But do tell me more about it. Sounds fabulous.

—Well, it will be very VIP, with only big clients, a couple of A-lister celebrities, and influential motorsports people. There's a lot of gossip about what or who will be the entertainment.

—I guess I'm not part of the big names of motorsports yet because I haven't been invited, haha. Mattia doesn't like me, isn't it?

—He is not your biggest fan, but almost no one has been invited; as far as I know, it's just the Scuderia and people Mattia considers his "paddock friends." —Charles gestures with his hands. —And some special guests with a history with the brand, like Niki. He is going! I know because Sam is his plus one; she told me yesterday.

—Maybe I should buy Ferrari to party with you at that fabulous event —you laugh it off as you sign the check for the earrings.

—And to party with Niki —Charles adds, joking.

—I heard he goes hard! —you joke back. Nowadays, if Niki stays up after 10 p.m., he considers it a wild night, in his words.

-

As you are about to finish your grilled salmon at that gorgeous "Gaia" restaurant in Monte Carlo, your phone buzzes on top of the white mantelpiece, grabbing your attention.

—Didn't you lose something?

—Not that I know.

—How weird, cause I have this plus one ticket with your name on it.

—Haha. You got me!

—Feeling like going to a fancy party in Rome?

—A getaway trip to Italy? SIGN ME UP! —you happily reply, already thinking about what you will wear.

-

Rome

As the sun descended over the iconic Roman Colosseum, flashing cameras lit the red carpet at the ancient structure's entrance. 

Sleek Ferraris pull up, each more luxurious than the previous, dropping the celebrities and high-profile guests off to make their grand entrances, dressed in the most glamorous outfits and adorned in shining jewels. 

Amidst all that circus, you two stay on the sidelines, watching the spectacle unfold before quietly skipping the paparazzi and splitting apart to enter the temporarily built ballroom.

—Surprise! —you extend your arms to Leclerc; he is now fresh off the red carpet, the one you avoid to keep it as discreet as possible.

A prominent smile forms on the lips of the Monagesque. —We could have shared the flight here, you know! Instead of you flying here all by yourself —Charles rolls his eyes at you and then hugs you. —I really believed you when you said you didn't get invited. You got me!

"But I didn't fly by myself!" You want to correct him on that, but you don't.

Inside, the atmosphere is as opulent as outside. Red lights illuminate the ancient structure, and lavish decorations adorn every table set. Cirque du Soleil performers move gracefully through the crowds, dazzling costumes twirling and shimmering as they entertain the guests with their mesmerizing acts.

You take in all the sights and sounds of the extravagant gala surrounding you, where motorsport legends mingle with billionaires, entertainers, engineers, celebrities, and beautiful models. 

Laughter, loud music, and chatter fill the air, along with the clinking of champagne glasses.

-

After having a blast dancing around, chatting, and goofing an hour later, you go to look for Sam, knowing she must be somewhere around. 

But the place is enormous, the crowd is big, and no luck so far; she is nowhere to be seen.

You get tired of searching for her and go to the bathroom. By this point, you have had many drinks, "Damn, that waiting line is long!"

As you try to find something to entertain you while you wait, you start scanning the place with your eyes, observing every gorgeous detail, when the silhouette of a beautiful blond woman steals your attention. Four girls in front of you in the line, there is Susie.

She is as beautiful as you expected her to be in person but more petite; she looks fit and fierce but kind. You can't help but stare at her before wondering what she is doing here. Then a "Duh! Idiot! She is a big name in motorsports!" hits you.

-

As you return to your table from grabbing chocolate-covered strawberries a bit later, you run into Sam.

She stares at you with the widest eyes ever, completely surprised. —What? —she lets out, standing still.

—Surprise! —you reach to hug her. —I have been looking for you all damn night! —she barely hugs you, and your big smile starts to fade away. —Is all good? —you ask, concern while looking straight at her.

—I'm so sorry, Y/N. I genuinely am —she mumbles. Samanta's features are full of dismay.

—Sam, you are worrying me.

She gestures to you to turn around.

"Oh, there is that feeling you remember so well." 

That awful fucking feeling of getting your heart shattered. Like a bullet going through the flesh, a sting of pure pain as if your heart was glass and was getting crushed by a hammer, pure and profound pain as you watch Susie wrapped around Toto's neck with no inch of space in between them, standing by the Mercedes guest table, sharing soft kisses and pets. 

Yet you are so skilled at hiding your feelings that it requires an expert - like Sam - to figure you out.

With a neutral face, you faintly say: —I need a moment.

—Y/N... I will go with you...

—I need a moment, I... I need to get fresh air. I will be right back —you start walking in the opposite direction to them, and Sam follows your every step.

—Y/N. I'm here for you...

—I'll be back, Sam. I need a moment, please —you make her stop following you around. So she contains herself and watches you walk away, worried about you. 

Sam knows your mental health hangs from a fragile thread.

-

—I want a Tequila and tonic with three tequila shots in it, please —Samanta brusquely drops herself on her seat at the Mercedes guest table and asks the waiter for a heavy drink.

—That would be two, please. You have learned from the master herself. Where is she, tho? I spotted Y/N and was going to greet her, but I got distracted by a sexy lady asking for a selfie. Now I don't know where she went to —Lewis asks while looking around, trying to spot you among the crowds.

The music is loud, so conversing is challenging if you aren't near enough.

—She's outside chatting with Vettel —Charles inserts himself in the conversation between a pissed-off Sam and a clueless Lewis, arriving a bit rushed at the table and placing himself between their two chairs.

—Hi mate! —Lewis pats his arm, and half hugs him while still sitting. Charles rubs his shoulder in response.

—Hey, Sam. I made the changes you suggested to my speech. Do you approve? —Leclerc hands her a folded piece of paper; "She is out there crying" is written in big caps.

Sam and Charles exchange warry looks.

—It's perfect. I will help you practice it.

—Great idea, let's g...

A loud "ow" sound from the crowd interrupts them. A tray hits the floor loudly, followed by glasses breaking. It's all coming from far on their left. 

They all turn their heads toward the noise, as does almost everyone in the entire place.

—I'm so so sorry! Oh my god! I'm an idiot! Please forgive me! —a very distraught and nervous Vettel apologizes frantically to you. 

He accidentally crashed into the waiter holding a tray of wine glasses as he crossed paths with you, the ones that landed all over you, fucking up your dress, before smashing on the floor. 

Which made poetic sense since you felt wounded, and now you looked like it.

You could sense Toto's eyes burning into you. You weren't supposed to be there.

Lewis gets on his feet. —Jesus, poor Y/N —and he notices how Toto looks utterly shaken by seeing you here and looking whiter than a ghost, and at that moment, he gets it. Fuck.

—Seb, Seb, SEB! —you raise your voice as Vettel keeps apologizing and talking nonstop. —It's okay, sweetie. No worries; I will go change! It's all okay.

—I'm sorry. Please forgive me; let me escort you out. It's the least I can do.

—Okay. Fine —you finally agree, looking a bit done with Seb.

You two start walking to the exit, which is all the other way around for your fucking luck. As you depart, you can hear the people whispering and staring at you. 

A frozen Toto watches you walk past them, and you can't help it; for the briefest moment, you make eye contact with him before Vettel blocks the view.

—Sebastian Vettel, you are a good man —Sam whispers.

—What? —Charles reaches even closer to her.

—Y/N is not coming back. Seb was her exit out. 

—Was that on purpose?!!

—Yes. That's why you saw them talking out there, for sure.

—Are they that close? Since when? I had no fucking clue.

—Since Y/N set foot on the paddock —Sam replies, knowing the whole story. —She's an expert at hiding in plain sight.

—Should we check on her? —Lewis turns to them, still on his feet, looking tense.

—Y/N will be fine; she always is —Sam says aloud for the entire table to hear. She can feel Toto's eyes on her but doesn't care to look back at him.

-

Vettel takes you inside a black-tinted Suburban. As the chauffeur speeds away from the Colosseum, he holds your hand and never lets it go.

Seb asks you to stay at his place so he can care for you and keep you company, and you agree.

You two cuddle in the back seat while you cry in his arms all the ride to his place. 

It's a long one.

You don't know if it's because your heart is shattering into a million pieces, or because you feel vulnerable right now, or just cause Seb is such a kind and precious being that you pour all out. 

You let him know everything, every single fucking detail about your fling with Torger and how you feel right now. You had never been so forthcoming with anyone about this, not even Sam.

—I'm so sorry about how the night turned out; I invited you as my plus-one with the idea of having the best time. I wish I had known all of this before! Finding it out this way, gosh, that's harsh —Seb tells you, with a mixture of mortification and sadness.

—You aren't the one who should apologize! Hey, at least we had a good time on the flight here. Thanks to you, now I want to build hundreds of hotels for the bees.

He smiles brightly before adding: —Right now, you need to rest and feel, let it all out of your system, and tomorrow start new! I'm here for you.

—Thanking for acting out that exit; you deserve an Oscar.

—I have been mistaken for Brad Pitt before, you know —he jokes to try to make you smile, but it's in vain. —You are a good actress, too.

-

You crash on his couch. Barely making it inside, collapsing as soon as you cross the entrance door, feeling drained.

You have experienced the "heart broke syndrome" before and know how it goes, so you needed to lie down ASAP.

-

After God knows how many minutes since you blacked out on the sofa, you hear a noise above you. You slightly and a bit unwillingly open your eyes to see Seb covering you with a remarkably soft blanket that feels so delicious. He drops a puffy pillow on the rug beside you and lays himself down there next to the couch.

You move to face him as he gets comfy there on the floor. —What are you doing?

—Oh, shit, did I wake you up? I'm staying here if you don't mind —he looks at you with apprehension in those stunning eyes.

—You are the sweetest —you tell him as you slowly drift off, exhausted.

As you fall asleep again, you understand now why Lewis dared risk it all for Seb and start wondering what happened to those two.

-

You wake up disoriented and feeling anxious. 

It's still dark. 

Seb is profoundly asleep and relaxed in the blueish-tinted living room, with the moonlight sneaking through the large windows. 

You stay there, unable to sleep but with zero energy to move. You observe his breathing, which weirdly helps you soothe yourself when suddenly, your phone screen lights up, stealing your gaze.

You try to reach for it since Seb placed your purse and phone on the coffee table at arm's distance before going to look for an oversized T-shirt that could work you as pajamas. 

It's a simple text from Toto. "Can I please talk to you?"

As you navigate your phone, you notice many missed calls from Sam, Charles, and Lewis.

Well, now it's clear communication and sincerity weren't your thing. You weren't one of those couples. 

Were you even a couple?

"Maybe it's best this way," is all you reply to him before turning your phone off.

Tears start coming down again as your phone screen dims and fades to black again.

-

The following day, Seb offers you to stay for as long as you wish, and you will take his word for it.

You don't feel like returning to the city you share with Toto; it's way too risky for you to be in Monaco. 

You need time to compose yourself. A lot is about to happen soon, and you need to be at your best. You can't fail. To be continued... < Previous chapter | Masterlist | Next chapter >

#toto wolff x reader #toto wolff x you #toto wolff fic #toto wolff fanfic #toto wolff x y/n #toto wolff fanfiction #toto wolff #f1 fanfiction #f1 fanfic #mercedes fanfic #formula 1 fic #toto wolff imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x female reader #toto wollf x oc #toto wolff x occ #f1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x oc #f1 blurb #toto wolff blurb #my work

[juvenillia]

Rammstein [headcanon for König]

a/n: @actuallyhiswife had a post about a Rammstein song fitting König and as a German metalhead who follows this band for a very long time I’m eager to share some of my culture with you guys. Tbh most of those songs are for a quite possessive and masochistic version of König, but tbh I can see that and I can’t wait to write some stalker!masochist!König inspired fics by those songs. I also attached a spotify link for every song.

tw/cw: suggestive content, mentions of cannibalism, smut, sex, piv, noncon, dubcon, possessiveness , power play, masochism, degradation, toxicity, manipulation, pain and more

If you want to know anything more about the specific songs or anything, just comment or message me.🩶

》 Masterpost 《

Ich tu’ dir weh

This song is about the pleasure of pain mixed with degradation and manipulation. A line translates into: “Your body is already distorted, but it doesn’t matter because everything is permitted that pleases. I’m gonna hurt you.” And, how a person (reader) is obsessed and dependent from another (König) and this person literally doesn’t care about it.  Another line translates into: “You’re completely devoted to me; You love me because I don’t love you. You gonna bleed for my salvation.”

Bück’ dich

This song is literally about submission and degradation. One line literally says: “I don’t care about the face, just bend over.”

Pussy

I have to add this one for obvious reasons. It’s just a song about having sex. I don’t think I need to really explain it, but I want to translate one of my favorite lines from that song that would fit König way too good. The line says: “Pretty Misses, do you desire more? Let’s have a blitzkrieg with my meaty rifle.”

Giftig

This song is literally about a toxic and dangerous relationship. A relationship that you can’t cut loose. So you rather destroy yourself with it than leave them. A line for example translates into: “The poison flows slowly into my blood, I start to see white lights and yes, somehow I do like it. There is simply no remedy.”  

Link 2 3 4

Originally this song was a statement to deny the accusations of the Band being part of the right scene in Germany.  But the marching beat (added as irony back then) is something I just find fitting. A line translates into: “They want my heart on the right spot, but then I look below, it beats left there”

Rein Raus

This song is just about having sex and fitting a very huge dick into a tight cunt. Yeah, I don’t need to explain that further. A line to translate: “You moan, I predict you: An elephant into a bottleneck.”

Mein Teil

This is literal song about cannibalism. (Was inspired by the criminal case by the cannibal of Rothenburg.) Won’t go into any further details because the song speaks for itself. A line to translate: “Today I will meet a gentleman; he likes me so much he could eat me up. Soft parts and even hard ones are on the menu”

Waidmanns Heil

A song that totally holds hunter/prey vibes. It's about the thrill during a hunt. About the ecstasy the hunter feels while chasing his prey, and about the power balance/play. A transalate of the very first lines: "I've been in heat for days, so I'm going to hunt myself a doe and I'll sit there until morning, that I can give it a chest hit."

Du hast

It's, as I believe, one of the most known songs outside of Germany because of the simplicity of its text. But we have a big double meaning here, because "Du has(s)t mich" can be translated into "you have me" or into "you hate me". It explores the detriments of marriage, and the developing separation and resentment drawn from a long-term relationship.

Bonus:

Bismarck by Sabaton – Sorry but I won’t argue about it, he does love that one! So I just needed to put it onto the list. If you don't know Sabaton, they make really cool power metal inspired by actual historical war victories, heroes and soldiers.

#cod mw x reader #könig x reader #könig mw2 #bd/sm masochist #cod x reader #rammstein #cod headcanons #könig headcanons #rammstein songs #konig x reader #dark smut

[ramayantika]

Sakal Ban

Oh look how the streets have been adorned with colourful banners and flower boughs. The flags of my kingdom fly high on the beautiful carved towers, showing the grandeur of my city.

It's the time of the Spring festival. The fields look as golden as the sun with mustard flowers sprouting from the brown soil, their slender stalks flowing in the flower-laden spring breeze, and maidens wearing colourful robes with chiming anklets on soft red-dyed feet run through the golden fields.

I used to be one of them ages ago. These young girls donned in light shaded robes look as beautiful blooms of the royal garden, which used to be a place for my secret trysts with the handsome young lover, who is still elegant and regal as ever, but alas, no longer mine.

Mango buds hang from the branches, and little children play with stones and pebbles under the young tree. Somewhere in the distance, in the extravagant places of the courtly dancers and musicians, I see a lovely maiden adorn flowers in her braid.

Oh, honeybees, you traverse in circles

around the lone nectar-filled bloom in vain.

When you have the whole garden behind her head

Why go for the single little flower of a shrub?

I make my way through the crowded colourful streets once again like I do every Spring Festival, every year and pay my respects at the Nizamudin's shrine.

Dusty paths permeate with a fragrance of jasmine and lavender, and the bazaars are teeming with sweet shops, with small vendors selling savoury snacks. A husband gently feeds a milk sweet to his wife who glows with the little child growing inside her.

I clutch my stomach, and my heart grows fond but also silently weeps at the fate that I was shown but mercilessly snatched away from.

The chitter-chatter of the streets grow louder. In every courtyard, poets and singers sing verses of lovers and romantic union in spring. The patronisers of art fling their gold and silver in fine silk bundles.

And finally the Royal trumpet blows. The crowd stills. The garden girls with large flower garlands stand on the sides, their smiley faces glowing under the pleasant sun. I smile too.

The palanquin bearing the queen enters the street to the shrine. I caress the ring on my finger, a metallic symbol of a broken promise of yesteryears.

The soldiers cheering the empress's name flank the palanquin. Her maidservants and handmaidens donning simple shades and cotton skirts that lightly flutter in the wind walk by. The crowd amazed at all the riches, power and grandeur swoon in delight.

And then the announcer announces the arrival of the empress. He rules over everyone. He rules over our hearts and souls, but foremost mine, even when I can no longer claim his heart, forget the soul anymore, but some springs before, he was all mine, body, heart and soul, where we claimed each other in the golden fields of mustard blooms.

And fate is a popular jester, its jabs hurt the heart at times, but you have to keep smiling, keep laughing, for the show must go on. Life must go on.

An old singer sings:

woh mohe awan keh gaye ashiq rang aur beet gaye barson, sakal ban, phool rahi sarson sakal ban

The emperor hasn't once seen my eyes in all these years, and I never crossed my fate with his. Not all wishes come true at the shrine, and not all promises can be kept.

For some hearts, there is never warm beautiful spring

All they get is a merciless cold winter until death claims their breath,

With Death granting an illusionary hope of a sweet union in the afterlife...

Fate, a cruel jester! The emperor's eyes meet my steely ones. A lone drop falls and I drag the thin veil around my face. The Spring breeze burns my flesh, it's cool winds freezing my once warm and hopeful heart.

But the show must go on, and the Emperor of my city, the lovely Prince of my youth, the sole Ruler of my heart walks away majestically on the royal elephant.

Not once does he turn back and I feel the sharp chilly winds of winter enter my heart.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊**＊✿❀　❀✿＊**＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Tags: @alhad-si-simran @houseofbreadpakoda @swayamev @arachneofthoughts @krishna-priyatama @navaratna @inexhaustible-sources-of-magic @madoucesouffrance @jessbeinme15 @kaal-naagin @aesthetic-aryavartik @krsnaradhika @krishnaaradhika .

Um so I have been listening to Sakal ban from heeramandi. Looked up to the translation a little and I am writing this inside my Pharmaceutical analysis lab before viva which I am actually not prepared for but we ball.

Please please tell me how it was okay. I haven't written, read and danced due to this continuous shower of exams and it feels so restless and suffocating. I was desperate so wrote this on my phone. So, yes, do leave reviews, comments etc.

Maybe I will post a dance cover after internals later on.

Also, if there are others who wsnt to be included in my writing taglist, do let me knowm

#samridhi writes #desiblr #sakal ban #stories

[audreyscribes]

Carry On My Wayward Child [Part 1]

Ω PJO IMAGINE Ω

PROMPT: When a dream makes the reader unable to settle, they decide to take a walk, converting their dream to reality.

Reader encounters Luke, Thalia, and Annabeth on the run when they have a dream that makes them go out and see a sick Annabeth with a tired, injured Luke and Thalia. They take them in, saving them, and encounters them years later when they remembered a kind stranger.

a/n: Reader is neutral; no specific pronouns or descriptions used. Referred to as Y/N. Roughly college/university age. [Ao3 LINK] | [2] [3] [4]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being in college sucks. If it weren’t for the fact an authenticated paper by a post-secondary education would be vital for job seeking, then you would’ve long given up this damn paper a long time ago. Your mind is swarming with information, thesis, structures, and your brain stuck onto stretching your words as much as possible to fulfill the bare minimum word count.

You groan, dropping your head into your propped hands, closing your strained eyes as words start to swarm off the paper, flying around like gnats. Even if you wanted to keep pushing forward, your energy was severely depleted into the long night so it was futile to keep pursuing.

You curse the paper to pieces, while also praying to every god you could think of to either end its existence or something-

Your head pulsed with exhaustion, and you push yourself away from the table, hands outstretched to the limit. The legs of the chair scrape loudly in protest against the floor, both you and the chair teetering precariously. You winced at the noise but then remembered you lived alone but habits die hard. Your fingers grip the edge as you look towards the window.

It is very much late. Very much night.

The moon is big and full, the light it shines down giving a soft glow that soothes you. Just a bit.

Just enough to realize you’re really tired and you really need sleep.

You stand up from your chair, halfheartedly cleaning up your work station and turning off the lights. You quickly brush your teeth, to feel slightly less gross and to get rid of the seemingly never ending consumption of caffeine, before body-slamming yourself into your bed. Burrowing in the covers and resting your weary head into the pillow, it took you a moment for your body to relax in softness before darkness took over.

A pause. Some peace until you find yourself witnessing a scene.

A scene of three kids, a boy and two girls. Each being younger then the other. They were running through the night, constantly looking over their shoulders as roars and screeches of what could only be considered as monsters. You watch as they run and you can’t help react to every time they stumble, gasp, and basically whatever hell these kids are going through. You see them wield what could only be weapons, slashing and tumbling through the monsters, as they explode into golden dust.

There’s a blur transition and with a golden explosion of dust, you see the kids hide underneath a very familiar bridge. Darkness covers them as they nervously peer out from their current reprieve, the light of the full moon almost blinding. You hear thundering footsteps, like elephants stampeding through, with clicks of claws or whatever it could be. They blur through you and you see what could be only a demented wolf growl and you see its maw consuming you-

You gasp out and curse from your dream, sweat sticking to your skin. Your heart thumping against your chest wildly is your only tether to reality as it reminds you that you are very much alive. You look around, your brain on adrenaline mood.

Seeing as you’re still in bed and in your home, you feel the strings holding you up cut, and you fall back into bed. You’re too tired to deal with this so you try to sleep. But you toss and turn in your sleep, the light of the moon seems to be brighter and is preventing you from sleeping.

Frustrated, you sit up in bed and rub your hands over your face. You decide to get a drink, not wanting to go back to your paper. You quench your first and your brain can’t help think to the kids in the dream, silently wondering if they were thirsty-

Shaking your head to get rid of that image, you decide to take a nice hot shower to feel clean.

That helped you feel more human but now you were more awake-

You glance at the clock and groan at the fact it wasn’t even that long since you went to sleep. Your body was on edge and your brain couldn’t help wander back to the dream. You noted that the bridge was one you were familiar with and wasn’t that far in terms of walking distance-

Whining at you were about to do, you decide to take a walk; if anything, to soothe your paranoid brain and see that there weren’t any kids underneath the bridge-

Is what you would’ve liked to say as you had bent yourself over the bridge railing. You didn’t feel like slipping down the incline to check the kids were there, but as you bent over, you saw three suspiciously kid shaped shadows extend forwards on the ground that that bridge started off. You bent even further, hands locked tightly on the railing and your eyes blown wide in surprise as you saw those exact three kids in the dream.

This surprised you so much so that you lost your grip and your view point of the world flipped over and plummeted. You let out a yell, air whipping past you and like an invisible hand was helping you, you found your body flipping and slowing down. A voice whispered to your ears, making your body move on its own.

The next thing you knew you had landed perfectly well on the ground, but there was still shock waves going through your entire body, jittering your nerves. You wondered how you even pull off that move without obliterating your legs, but you weren’t going to be ungrateful whatever happened for you to pull off the landing and still have your legs and every limb function still working.

There was a glint from your peripheral and you looked towards it, to only see the boy holding what could only be a bonafide swear-to-gods dagger at you. It was shaky, scattering whatever light it caught and you looked at the wielder. The boy had blue eyes and sandy blond hair. You saw someone shifting behind him and your eyes saw a girl with black hair and shockingly electric blue eyes, wearing all black and in her arms…her eyes were closed with a scrunched up face, but you remembered in your dream that the girl had gray eyes, so if you had to guess-

“Who are you? What do you want?!” questioned the boy as he pointed his weapon towards you as if it to threaten (in your mind you could only see that he saw you as something like a lion that had gotten stuck in its cage and he was desperately holding you back).

You raised your hands up as a friendly gesture and felt your throat dry up. You debated whether or not if you were going to tell the truth, that you came out here based on a whim and lo and behold they were here.

You heard a bone shaking howl and you turned to it, confused but also nerved since it was the dead of night. You heard shuffling and turned to the kids, they’re eyes wide with alert, weapons readied at where the howl was coming from and at you.

The dream of the monsters popped in your head and you were starting to wonder if the monsters were really there-

You licked your cracked lips before deciding to take a limb.

“My name is (y/n), I’m just a college student that went on a walk after a bad dream…” you started and watched their reactions. They seemed to not believe you and you remembered the weight of your wallet in your pocket. You reached a hand to your pocket and saw the boy stiffen. You stopped but kept your hand near your pocket, “I’m just going to grab my wallet in my pocket, alright? If you don’t believe my words, I can show you my college ID okay?”

You slowly lowered your hand and the boy’s dagger followed its movement. You felt your throat tighten at the gesture but you kept your wits. Les you lose a limb really.

You grabbed your wallet and slowly opened it, revealing its content. You picked your college ID and slowly taking it out, holding it up between your fingers. You then flicked it towards the kids and the boy looked between the ID and you for a moment.

He kept his eyes on you while slowly kneeling to pick it up, his eyes glancing at the ID before really reading it. His face was bewildered and saw the girl behind him get up to read it too, as if to verify it. You hoped they were just staring at your goofy face of your ID that was just ridiculous looking.

You gave a shaky smile, “I appreciate it if you didn’t, y’know throw it in the river or break it please. I get a college ID for free at first but to replace it, I have to spend like $20 bucks each time to get it replaced.”

The kids looked at you then at each other, whispering as if to debrief. You heard the howl again and it sounded closer-

You saw the kids jump and the girl behind them whimper as you looked around. You weren’t sure if the monsters were coming but as you looked at the kids now that you weren’t going to be immediately stabbed, you saw their state.

They were tired, dirty, and injured. The girl behind them was the same but she had a weird flush to her face and you felt your body turn cold. It wasn’t that warm outside and their clothes seemed very bare minimum and had tears in them. You weren’t sure how long they were on the run for but now you were here, you couldn’t find it in yourself to abandon them.

“Hey-“ their heads whipped at you and you felt your voice dying inside you for a moment, before you summoned the courage back. “-I don’t know why you kids are out this late, or why you’re under the bridge, but you can’t stay here.”

“Where do you think we can go then?” asked the boy, his voice grating with annoyance and fatigue.

“My place”

They seemed surprised and more on edge.

“Look, I get it I’m not the most believable person right now, and I get you don’t want to listen to a stranger who fell off the bridge, but I you need to trust me. I’m a lone college student and I have a place for you to sleep. You can sleep for just the night, take a shower, eat, or whatever, but you’ll warm and safe.”

The final two words seemed to trigger something in them, making them more miserable. Faintly you heard some latin? Pig latin? Words? But not really? But then you saw them arguing…no pleading to the other, their hand gesturing to the little girl behind them.

“-please-“

“We can’t. We don’t know this person and who knows, maybe she’s a monster in disguise-“

“I know that! But Annabeth’s fever is-“

You heard about the fever, and you definitely can’t let them stay out. Staying out in the night is already risky, but with a fever? That was a death sentence. You may be a struggling college student and barely call yourself an adult, but you were enough of an adult that you couldn’t just leave these kids alone-

“But what if-“

“Look, your little sister right there isn’t looking good,” you say, stepping forward. At least you assumed they were siblings. They each shared similar characteristics with one or the other. Their bodies stiffened and you made a stern face.

“And like, I know I’m repeating myself and by gods, do I know you shouldn’t be listening to a stranger this late at night, but trust me when I say when I’m not going to hurt you. I can’t walk away in good conscious when I know I can get you kids to be safe for just a night nor can you let your sister sleep outside when she has a fever. If you follow me to my place, you can be rest assured she’ll survive the night then sleeping out in the cold. I swear I won’t hurt you or any of you.”

The two kids looked at each other before the girl spoke up next. “Do you swear?”

“I swear.”

“Do you swear on the river Styx?”

You felt something in the air chill as you faintly remembered that the River Styx was something from Greek Mythology. You could feel something in your brain shift as you held up your hand and crossed your heart with the other. ‘Weird question but-‘ you said in your mind before opening your mouth, “I swear on the River Styx and cross my heart to die.”

You watched the kids’ eyes widen and mouth gape open with something akin to fear. You felt something inside you tighten and the air seemed to snap. The kids looked at each other before nodding as the boy held his dagger at you.

“If you try anything funny-“

“I swore didn’t I? Have some faith in that then” you said before gesturing to the kids to follow.

You watched the boy piggyback the girl onto his back, his face softening when looking at her with you recognized was sibling love, while the other girl helped him while also threatened you with a spear now.

Not going to lie, it was kind of working.

(somewhere, some part in you quietly whispered to you that their weapons couldn’t hurt you. But you didn’t want to tempt fate (even if they didn’t hurt you, it gave them some sense of control and safety so might as well believe it eh?))

You led them to your place, the kids following behind you with a a dagger trained on your back. You were glad and cursed it was so late in the night but you swore, and you couldn’t turn them away for any other good reasons now.

You showed them the door and took out the key unlocked it, opening the door. As it creaked open, you winced at the noise but you felt something shift behind you. You took a moment to glance back and something in your chest became more unsettled.

The two older kids seemed to stare into the darkness of your place, with something akin to fear. You saw their jaws tightened, as if they were ready to streak and you knew at that point, that something really bad happened to them.

What you weren’t sure.

But you were starting to feel like you didn’t want to know. Shouldn’t know.

You stepped inside and quickly flipped on the lights, steeling your nerves as you didn’t hear them step in after you. You already got them this far, which was already what you least expected.

You took off your jacket, shuddering at how cold the exterior was. You were only outside for a short while and the cold was already clinging to it. How cold it must’ve been for those kids with the bare minimum of essentials?

You turned to the kids who had stepped the foothold of the door, but look ready to book for it at the slight thing going wrong.

“Alright, welcome to my humble abode, I guess” you tried to say with a lighthearted tone. “It’s not much but it satisfies the basic human needs.”

You saw the raised skeptical eyebrow and thought, 'Sheesh, tough crowd.'

“Come on, close the door before you let all the heat out” you said, before dropping the keys in a bowl, “Let me put on the kettle first then I’ll show you your rooms”. As you filled the kettle, you used that brief solace to gather your wits. Only temporarily because you could feel the kids watching you from the corner.

With the kettle on, you lead them through the house and to one of the guest rooms. You gestured to the door and opened it, flipping on the light quickly. It was a bit dusty but not as bad when you first came to the place; since you, more often then not, had your fellow classmates crash in these beds when they blacked out; whether from alcohol or the soul crushing weight of schoolwork.

You gestured to the Queen-sized bed, “Set her over there, let me grab some extra pillows and blankets” you said before going to the closet. You were sure you had some over here-

“Are you sure you’re a college student?”

You turned and saw them look around, observing the room and looking at you skeptically. Your arms were full of pillows and blankets. You stared for a moment before going to the bed, plopping it down.

“Yeah, you saw my ID right, which by the way I really need back-“

“But how come you’re alone in this old house?”

You turned to them as you realized.

“Ah-“ you started before leaning against the metal bedpost to hide the anxiousness in your body, “Funny thing really. When I was applying for colleges, I wanted to save money along the way cause remember kids, tuition is expensive-“ you stammered, “And then we remembered we had distant aunt we somewhat keep into contact with and my parents managed to talk into her letting me stay over here for my college tuition with being the housekeeper and stuff while she gone overseas time to time.”

“A distant aunt? Overseas? Really?” that last part was definitely sarcastic.

“Yeah yeah, sounds too good to be true” you said, before patting the bed, “Come on, set her down, you look like you’re about to collapse and drop her.”

The boy looked at the girl for a moment before taking their little sister to the bed. As soon the girl was set on the soft covers, she made a noise of content and burrowed herself in the blankets. You smiled before stretching and gestured to the room.

“I guess you want to sleep in the same room?” you clarified.

The other two nodded and you hummed. “Thought so. Anyway, there’s a small toilet and sink here, but when you want to get cleaned up, you have to use the bathroom down the hall. Otherwise, chairs, desk, closet, are all for you guys to use.”

You scooched past them and gestured to them to follow. You showed them the basic layout of the house and showed them where the towels were.

“I’ll go grab the kid’s Tylenol and some stuff for your sister. You can do what you want and stuff, but just don’t mess anything alright?” you said. You stared at them, waiting for a response, but they stared at you.

“Oooookay then” you said, awkwardly before leaving them alone and as you turned the corner, you placed your face in your heads and wondered,

What in the world were you doing?

[To be continued...]

____________________________________________________________

a/n: I realized I had this idea for a while, wrote it down, forgot I had it written, realized it was getting verrry long and now its in parts. So here you go everyone. Maybe I got hyped back from the liveaction Percy Jackson trailer or something, but I went SPEED.

#pjo imagines #pjo imagine #pjo x reader #pjo #fanfic #pjo fanfic #annabeth chase imagines #annabeth pjo imagines #luke castellan #luke castellan imagine #thalia grace #thalia grace imagine #annabeth chase #percy jackson and the olympians imagines #pjo x you #percy jackon and the olympians

[hcwevergreen]

would love a short headcannons type of charlie and (maybe even neil if its not too much for you) developing a crush, maybe some angst and fluff thrown in? 👀 love ur writing btw :))()

Okay first off, I love you and thank you so much for saying that I’m glad that you like my writing and I’m so happy.

And second of all I looove this. There’s so many ways that this could go with either one but here’s what I leaned into more.

Also sorry if this has any grammar errors or spelling mistakes I’m on my way to my class and I’m getting too excited over this hc I feel like a golden retriever.

Charlie

I feel like he’d keep stalling the realization of having a crush.

He’d probably be sitting with you under a tree where you’re studying next to each other, your shoulders brushing every once in a while, enjoying each other’s presence in silence, his heart hammering in his chest so loudly, he’s afraid that you’ll hear it.

He doesn’t want to admit it, and he won’t for a while. Too afraid of being rejected, because yes, even the most confident person in Welton is too soft for this.

So, instead of facing the truth he avoids it.

And avoids you along the way.

Spending time together becomes a rare occurrence unless, there’s a dead poets meeting.

And you’re sick of it. Rightfully so.

You keep on wondering what you did wrong, what on earth caused him to run away from you?

So, when you find him in the empty hallway after being excused from class, you do the mature thing and grab him by the sleeve to get into the nearest janitor’s closet. Forced intervention style. (I hate that I just said that for some reason)

You find yourselves in the cramped closet, the dim light concealing his nervousness as he tries to avoid your gaze.

You stare at him for a moment before you clear your throat, trying to address the elephant in the too small room. “We need to talk..this avoiding me thing has to stop”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He stammers.

“Oh, cut the bullshit, Charlie.” You argued with furrowed brows before taking a deep breath and continuing. “We used to be close, but now we hardly talk and it feels like you’re actively avoiding me…” you sighed. “Did I do something?”

As the tension lingers in the cramped closet, Charlie takes a deep breath, gathering courage. “It’s not you,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s me. I’ve been trying….to figure out how to say this”

You lock eyes with him, your heart picking up speed as it fills with hope. “Say what?”

He hesitates for a moment, then looks straight at you. “I like you. I’ve liked you for a while, actually” He admits.

Your expressions soften, a small smile playing on your lips. “I like you too”

He lets out a breathy laugh, his cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. “I guess we’ve both been overthinking this, haven’t we?”

“Yeah,” you agree, feeling your face get warmer. “We probably should’ve just talked”

Charlie nods, a grin breaking through his nervousness. Relief washing over him, he takes a step closer towards you, gently tucking a loose strand of hair from your face.

Heartbeats synchronize as you lean in closer, your lips almost touching, the warmth of your breaths mingling. It’s a tender, uncertain moment.

And then, in a moment that feels like an eternity and yet passes in a heartbeat, your lips meet.

It’s soft, a feather light touch, and a tentative exploration of the unknown. A rush of emotions surges through you both.

the excitement of a new beginning, the relief of honesty, and the undeniable connection between you

Sorry if this sucks I just poured what popped into my mind into a post that I probably will not read again for the sake of my sanity and because if I do read it again I’ll probably end up deleting it

I was going to write Neil’s part but my professor walked in so, I’ll try to write it as another post (maybe even make it a blurb or a one shot 👀)

#passing notes in secrecy 💌 #charlie dalton #charlie dalton x reader #dead poets society

[slippinmickeys]

Thank you for the Proof of Life prompt this morning! You've mentioned a wedding band and a wedding (I think??) in one of today's prompts. Um...Could you maybe write the wedding? Please?? I get if its too fluffy an ask, but I'm on my kneeeees I love this universe so much I want to live in it

1. She sits against the pillows of the bed, lounging like a limp doll, totally sapped of strength.

“How come all our assignments are to places that are hot?” she asks.

Mulder, at the end of the bed, his lap half covered in only a sheet, has his hands around her foot, which he raises to his face. He gives her toes a sniff and then presses them to his lips. “Are you lodging a complaint?” he mumbles through them.

There’s a sheen of sweat across her brow and tiny beads along the bridge of her nose.

“Perhaps” she says. “I’m experiencing a fair amount of thermal fatigue.”

Mulder looks out the window of the small bungalow and into the green beyond it. He has been in India for four months. Scully has been here for one.

“Maybe we should go somewhere colder,” he says.

2. He has been working with a journalist for the Washington Post on a story about an elephant sanctuary on the fringe of the remote Manas National Park. He has been staying on property for the last week and Scully arrived that morning to finally join him. Matthas, the journalist writing the piece, left the night before, and Mulder’s work for the article is done, though Scully doesn’t know this. He has arranged a rare day off for her, and the mahouts who live at the sanctuary are eager to show her a good time.

She has taken to dressing in brighter colors since her arrival here, and today wears a gauzy pink blouse over a bright green sarong, her hair a frizzy muzz on the top of her head. It is hard to look away from her.

Mulder, his camera in its ubiquitous place around his neck, is talking to Anand, one of the mahouts.

“Scully,” he calls out.

She is standing atop grass of virulent green reading one of the signs they have up for visitors, explaining the need for the camp in Assam.

She waves and he gives her a “come here,” gesture. She moves toward him.

“I don’t want to get in the way,” she says demurely, hanging back a bit.

“It’s fine,” he smiles at her. “I have a surprise for you.”

On a nod from Anand, he takes her hand and walks her over to the river, where another mahout, Davanesh, stands next to one of the sanctuary’s stars, Tara, who sways on soft feet, keeping a rhythm known only to her kind.

“Come and meet her,” Mulder says. He had met Tara upon his arrival and knows the beast to be kind-hearted and affectionate. He picked her specifically for this.

The river next to them is a purling brown, with the grass-cutter area beyond it. In the woods behind the river, one of the sanctuary elephants calls out and Tara answers with a short, happy trumpet.

Scully smiles at him nervously. “Is it safe?”

He shrugs and grins back. “Safe enough.”

The elephant turns her attention to the newcomer and lifts her trunk when Scully approaches, reaching out to touch her lightly on the shoulder, on her ponytail. Scully is delighted by the attention, if a little timid. Tara begins gently nosing Scully’s face. The elephant’s trunk is gray on top, the bottom the same delicate pink as Scully’s shirt. Her long eyelashes are soft and feather-like, gentle fans around intelligent eyes.

The mahout says something and Mulder interprets.

“You breathe into their trunk so they can get to know your scent,” he explains.

Scully, still a little skittish, does as prompted and then Tara takes a step back, swinging her trunk back and forth a few times before swinging it over to Davanesh, who smiles at Mulder and nods.

“Now hold out your hand,” Mulder says, butterflies set to wing in his stomach.

Tara takes a step forward and swings her trunk back at Scully, dropping something gently in her outstretched hand, her trunk as nimble as human fingers.

“What is…?” Scully says, and looks at her palm. There is a small turquoise satin bag sitting on it.

“Open it,” Mulder says softly, stepping up behind her.

She opens the bag and shakes out a delicate silver ring into her other palm. She gives a small gasp.

Mulder lowers himself to one knee beside her and Davanesh smiles widely, his teeth bright white against his dark skin.

“Mulder, you don’t have to-”

“It feels like the thing to do,” he smiles up at her. “Will you?”

He doesn’t actually say the words, and Scully doesn’t actually say yes, but she nods happily, a look crossing her face that Mulder interprets as the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. Before he can reach up to put the ring on her finger, Tara starts bumping him in the head with her trunk, unused to not being the center of attention. Scully lets out a sharp peel of laughter and Mulder finally stands, a thought occurring to him.

“Shit!” he says, someone indecorously. “I forgot to take a picture!”

3. “I’ll give you this,” Scully says as they walk past the building of the Consulate General, a ritual they do on their first day in any foreign country. “It’s certainly not too hot here.”

They are just down from the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, still on Princes Street. It’s early April in Scotland, and, Mulder has to admit, butt-fucking cold.

The American flag snaps and flaps in the cold breeze at the top of the building they stand in front of, and they nod at the Marine behind the gate before turning on their heel and heading back toward the castle. They are unlikely to need the services of the Consulate here, but have had the occasion, on no less than three separate instances, to yell “I’m an American!” while running full bore at embassy and consulate gates in other parts of the world, and every time, the young Marine (it’s always a young Marine) stationed there has snapped to attention and saved their hides.

Here, they’re more in danger of tripping over a cobblestone while walking to the closest coffee shop, but Scully said she was sick of the heat, and Mulder has an idea.

It started with listless boredom, as these things tend to, laid out in a tent near the equator, reading whatever English-language book that happened to be left behind by a colleague or visitor. In this case it was a Regency romance novel that Scully had burned through the weekend before and Mulder picked up on the working theory that you could actually die of boredom. At the time, all he thought was: needs must.

In the story, a young daughter of a marquess – madly in love with the blacksmith who’d heroically fixed the axle on her wayward carriage, eloped with her muscle-bound beau to Gretna Green and married only minutes before her viscous older brother arrived on scene with the cavalry of the ton at his back. The young couple slipped away and consummated the marriage (with many a heaving bosom) beneath a willow in the village square and what’s done was done and they lived happily ever after.

Mulder prefers the bed in their rented flat to the wet sod of a village green and they had consummated their relationship hundreds of times over at this point, but Gretna Green: now there was an idea.

He grabs her mittened hand, the ring around her finger a hard nub under his hand, and feels a swell of something like pride. That this incredible woman would choose him.

As they begin the walk up the Royal Mile, they pass coffee shops, gelato shops, store fronts hocking kitschy souvenirs. Mulder pulls up in front of one of probably twenty with a mannequin in the window wearing a kilt. It’s fitted out in the whole nine yards (literally—where the saying came from) of formal wear; hose with flashes, a sporran, Prince Charlie jacket. There’s even a sheathed dirk tucked into the waistband.

“So, I had a thought,” he says.

Scully turns her attention from the window to him.

“I was thinking we could elope.” She raises her eyebrows at this. “Here,” he goes on to explain.

A small smile creeps up her cheek.

“Do you remember that novel in Laos, the one that made the rounds through camp? The blacksmith and the wanton wallflower, something…” he trails off.

“I remember an outbreak of the clap not long after…”

Mulder stifles the urge to laugh.

“That’s the one.”

It takes Scully a moment to catch up. “You want to elope to Gretna Green?” Her eyebrows are sky high.

“Bad idea?” he says a little self-consciously.

“No, I-“ she turns back to the store window. “I kind of love it, actually.”

“We ran off to Gretna Green would make a great story,” he says.

She squeezes his hand. “I don’t think anything could top our meet-cute.”

He smiles at her, looks to the window himself.

“Would you wear a kilt?” she asks.

“Would you want me to?”

She half-turns her head to him, a sly little smile on her face.

4. Click.

He takes one picture before handing his camera over to the volunteer witness, who immediately turns the lens back on Mulder, an odd, curious feeling.

One he forgets the instant he turns to Scully.

She is in a simple white dress, her long hair brushed to a high shine and curled over one shoulder. She carries no flowers and is wearing only simple silver jewelry, and her hands are warm and dry and fit just right into his. She never once looks away.

They opted for a ceremony in the original marriage room of the old smithy, partly for the kitsch of it and partly as an inside joke, but Mulder doesn’t feel like laughing as they stand over the old anvil. There is an ethereal earthiness to the room, with its whitewashed stone walls and rough hewn low ceiling battened with old horseshoes.

As the officiant speaks of love being forged in an unbreakable bond, Mulder thinks of 1055, of their stringy hair and unwashed bodies, of the boot-steps of the men always lurking outside their door.

Love isn’t just forged in peace and bliss, he thinks, but in trial and turmoil too.

They hold hands and exchange rings and when the officiant pronounces them wed, he leans in to press his lips to hers and it’s all sun-dried linen and eucalyptus and that room on the 10th floor. Flowers come from dirt. Good things can come from bad. Love can come from anywhere if only you have the courage to hang onto it.

Click.

#the x-files #fanfic #my fic #msr #au #prompt #proof of life universe

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Heavy on The Heart

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Since the fall, the readers been struggling with her mental health and, given the state of the world, there's not a lot of resources for them. But they didn't have Joel when it first fell, now they do.

Warnings: Mental health struggles, sadness, angst but happyish ending.

Word Count: 1.2k

A/n: There was a need for this character apparently so I decided to take it upon myself and write it for the lovely @causeimhappinesss!

On days like these, the world just seems bleaker than other days.

Its the feeling of water in my lungs when I first wake up, a gasping, clearing my throat, uncomfortable feeling that sits in the front of my mind- clear your throat one more time, y/n, it'll go away. But it never does. Instead it gets worse, travels from your heart to your lungs, your life devoted muscle pumping suddenly at the speed of life and banging against your ribs.

Between the drowning feeling and the motorboat running rampant in my chest, it's like a can't breathe, can't afford to get out of bed because it'll just get worse with every step away from my bed that I take.

I know that Joel will be coming soon, picking me up so we can go on runs for the low life's of the city, trading worthless things for things that could eventually help us get to Tommy, to get to safety. But the thought of seeing him makes me want to cry and the thought of having to put a brave face on and fake being completely and utterly miserable and anxious- it makes me more miserable and more anxious.

The knock on my door has me rolling away from it, deciding to face the window instead so the first thing Joel sees aren't the dark bags beneath my eyes and the scowl on my lips. Our frowns will at least match.

He steps into my apartment, I can hear the thick boots thudding against the wood floor until he enters my room cautiously, fingers rapping against the wall as he clears his throat. I give him a simple hum of acknowledgment and my heart begins to beat faster as I watch him step around the bed, eyes finally meeting mine.

"Hey." He whispers, sitting down beside me on the bed with a simple tilt of his head, looking over me with a soft, worried expression. "You okay?" He asks and he reaches out to rest his hand on my hip through the blanket, just his touch makes me want to fold into myself and cry.

"Not feeling up to the run today." I mutter with a tremble, my lip shaking as a cold sweat shines on my body. "You and Tess can go without me." I wave him off, pulling my blanket further up onto my shoulders as I snuggle further into the safety of my bed, wishing nothing but to sink into my mattress completely.

"What're you feelin'?" He asks, leg bouncing nervously.

"I don't want to talk about it." My once sad mood turns sour and I begin to feel angry at Joel for asking me so many questions and it makes me more angry to be angry at Joel for no reason. He doesn't know any better, he's just worried but for some reason by brain chooses to be annoyed by his affection that he rarely shows in the first place.

"Okay." He nods sternly but there's a sense of disapproval in his eyes as he gazes down at me. "But you can," he pauses, rubbing circles into my hip with a soft smile, "talk about it, I mean."

"I know, Joel." I sigh, clutching the blankets to me as I sit up, his eyes suddenly widening at my sudden closeness. His arm adjusts, wrapping around my waist to keep me propped up against him, my fingers busying themselves with messing with the buttons on his jacket. "Sometimes I just wake up and have this elephant sitting on my chest. Especially when I think about leaving the apartment. I just wanna stay here." I let out a sign of relief at my own confession, happy that I had the guts to actually admit it to him of all people. We're not the biggest on feeling things, especially with each other. "It's just hard to exist when the worlds like this."

"You're scaring me." He says suddenly, his voice dropping an octave or two at the fear in my own voice.

"I'll be okay." I smile sadly. "Think I'm in an anxious funk."

"You sound fuckin' depressed." He laughs sadly, reaching up to brush some hair from my eyes, thumb lingering against my cheekbone as I just give him a simple shrug, not knowing what to say.

"Don't make fun of me." I tease and I reach out to shove him playfully.

"I'm not, I promise." He whispers, my whole body relaxing into his touch and the way his eyes look over me, as if I'm protected just by his affectionate, caring, worried gaze. "I'll tell Tess to go at it alone. I'll stay here with you." He goes to get up but I reach out to grab his hand in mine, suddenly feeling a bit of a pep to my step as I begin to think about a day at home with Joel, all to myself.

"Yeah?" I ask with a sigh of relief.

"You seem excited." He chuckles, patting my cheek before making his way to his feet, backing up slowly. "Hold your horses, Tess is out in the hallway. Let me go tell her, alright?" He offers with his hands up in surrender and I nod, sitting with my hands folded in my lap but he gives me a firm gesture to rest. "Lay down."

"I'll wait for you." I nod, falling back onto the bed to get comfortable once more, watching until Joel is out of my sight and I can hear them talking out in the hallway.

I can only imagine how this makes me look in Tess's eyes, maybe weak, stupid, the lesser woman, but I can't find it in me to care when I know that I'll have Joel with me, all day, taking care of me and making sure I get through the day.

"Thank you." I tell Joel when he comes back and he's smiling at me with a cute tilt of his head.

"For?" He grunts an old man grunt as he slides down into the bed beside me, holding an arm out to me so I can slide into his side, curving my body against his and I lay my head on his chest, finally back where I've belonged for days.

"Caring about me." I draw circles on his skin through his flannel, ignoring the heat that's rising to my cheeks.

"Don't gotta thank me." He whispers against my hairline and tugs me further against himself, clinging onto me like I matter to do. Because I do. "I care for you like I think about breathing-I don't think, I just do."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the heart @vampviolets@haylee-e @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife

@officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @witxhy-lexx @minjix @luvroseee @tee-swizzle @savageneversaw @admiringlove @hysteriahall @piceous21 @starlightandfairies @igotmajordaddyissues @drewstarkey-wife1 @manyfandomsfanvergent @revesephemeres @rafesbae01

#joel #joel x reader #joel miller #joel miller x reader #the last of us #the last of us fic

[trickster-jpeg]

Cracked At The Line In The Air, I feel safe.

Summary: Steven accidentally breaks his childhood teddy and it triggers a meltdown.

Warnings: Steven hits himself as a stim during his meltdown. Not sure of that warrants a warning but just in case.

Word Count: 1607 It's On AO3 -> Here

A/N: 'Ricitos' is just a term of endearment (usually for a partner, up to you how you interpret it) that means curly hair/small curls.

It’s broken. It’s broken. Oh my god, it’s broken.

Steven was laying in bed. It was the middle of the night and he was just settling down to sleep. It had been a good day. Nothing bad had happened, he’d been rather at ease, enjoying going about his day with minimal interference. He’d rolled over to lay down on his side and seen his childhood teddy tipped over, having fallen onto the floor. It was a fuzzy small elephant called Nellie. The stuffing distributed unevenly and one of the ears slightly worse for wear than the other due to constant chewing as a child, but it was still whole. It had small black beads for eyes, a stubby little trunk, and two tiny white mounds either side of its face for tusks. Not wanting her to be lonely, because he still had a tendency to anthropomorphize things, he went to pick her up and place her back on her spot on the bed.

Despite having had it for decades, it was still in relatively solid condition. He’d put effort into maintaining its state and was rather chuffed with himself at having had her for so long with minimal incidents. Which is why it was all the more heartbreaking when one of the seams on its neck had stuck out and gotten caught in the floorboards. He had no idea how, but it did, and when he grabbed her to pull her upwards it started to tug. Something he had realised far too late to stop it from happening.

The seam had stayed wedged firmly in the crack and as soon as the force of pulling the toy was applied, it started to unravel. In an instant, the body started to separate from the head, the old stuffing starting to tip and pile out onto the floor beneath itself. The stitches snapped as the neck stayed stuck to the ground, disconnecting from the main body and tugging a front arm off along with it.

His brain stopped dead in its tracks, physically incapable of processing what had just happened. It was almost as if time had slowed as Steven watched the events unfold in absolute horror. He froze instantly, eyes bulging as his mouth hung open with shock. A tremble immediately started to zap through his hand as his fingers loosened from a firm clasp around the worn but soft body of the toy, to a lax and limp claw that was just barely holding it. It was only as it tumbled out of his grip to lay with the rest of itself, surrounded by the stuffing that was once inside, that Steven lunged at the broken object, his heart pounding out of his chest as he frantically tried to gather all of the pieces together in his arms.

“No. No, no, no, no- NO- NO!”

His lungs constricted as his breathing instantly got caught, fractured breaths intermingling with the rising nausea and swirled around like the ocean in a storm. Broken sounding words flooded from his mouth as he stuttered to get them out in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the crushing pressure growing like a lump in his throat. They got muddled and stuck, his tongue getting in the way as he tried to stammer anything new, but was unable to get them out in a way that felt right. His mouth quickly flooded with the crimson metallic taste of blood as he bit down on his cheek, his jaw crunching down in a moment of shock as he tried to process what just happened.

Fat globules of tears poured down his face as he desperately willed the pieces to form back together, to undo it all and fix itself. His breaths heaved as he continued to work himself up, bawling harder and harder as he grasped the pieces impossibly closer to him. The sudden heartbreak was painful, physically painful and even more so psychologically. He felt the disparaging familiarity of dissociation grip him, his brain disconnecting from his body as he started to heave strangled sobs, whimpering pleas for the elephant to be okay. For his Nellie to be all better again.

He couldn’t lose her, she’d been there for him since he was a kid. She was the only thing that could calm him down when things got too bad, something not even his headmates could fully manage to do. Meltdowns, flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks. Even just giving him something to cry into when a character he liked in a film died, or just something to fall asleep with when he needed to. He didn’t care that people might see it as childish, after everything the system had been through when they were supposed to have been a child, he thought they should almost be owed it to make up for lost time. But Nellie was something from his childhood. Their childhood. Which is why it was all the more painful that she was now broken apart and torn in his arms.

Gradually, he felt his body begin to rock back and forwards, his breathing trying to match the motions frantically at the sudden awareness he really wasn’t breathing right. How could he have been so careless? How stupid could he have been to just destroy one of his most treasured items? One of the only truly, wholly good things they had from their parents, from their little brother, and he’d gone and broken it. Bringing the main body of the teddy to his face, he pressed it against his skin and started to muffle his cries, the pain steadily shifting into a burning anger. Anger that he could blame no one for but himself.

His brows furrowed in irritation as a swelling burning flashed in his chest, his grip tightened around the material painfully as the rage towards himself grew. The feeling began to burst through his limbs as he clenched his jaw almost painfully, grinding his teeth in annoyance as tears kept trickling down his face. Through huffed breaths, a guttural rumble rose in his oesophagus and tore up his throat in a furious roar.

“FUCK! HOW COULD I BE SO FUCKING STUPID? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? FUCKING STUPID- USELESS- WORTHLESS FUCKING- FUCK-”

In an instant, he raised his arms up with fists balled and started to bash them against the side of his head. The motion was repetitive and a bit painful, but soothing in a way. He carried on letting random, frustrated words and whines fumble out of his lips as his body took over. Tears and snot dripped down his face as he continued to hit his temples, sobbing in bitterness as a crash of self-hatred pooled in his chest. Briefly, he thought he heard someone speaking to him but he couldn’t figure out what they were saying.

There was a new resistance in his arms, something that pulled them back and made them feel not quite right. That made him almost struggle to do the thing that was soothing him. That was helping. Made it feel like it wasn’t helping. Like it was almost worse. He didn’t like it, it felt restraining. So instead moved them away and sat on his hands, trying to mitigate the uncomfortable feeling that stopped them with pressure. Continued to rock back and forth, to make the noises that climbed up his throat.

“Steven. It’s going to be okay. We can fix it. It’s alright.”

He shook his head disparagingly at the words, too overwhelmed to be able to form anything comprehensible. His legs bounced rhythmically as he tried to convey what he wanted to say, tried desperately to grasp at words and throw them out in a way that made sense. That helped him explain that it wasn’t alright and that it couldn’t be fixed. That he couldn’t fix it and it was too late for anything to be saved. But in some way he felt as though the speaker understood his thoughts regardless of whether or not they were spoken, and the gravelled voice spoke again. Accompanied by someone else.

“It might not feel like it, but this’ll pass and we can stitch her up. She’ll be fine, it was an accident, Steven. You’re not stupid or useless, it was a mistake.”

“He’s right, ricitos. We can fix our fluffy friend. Maybe even get her some new stuffing and fill it out properly again.”

As the voices spoke, they projected feelings of warmth. There was a contrast between their comfort and the gradual dimming of the burning that had been exploding in his chest. Whatever it was, it was nice. It was kind. Caring. And they said they could fix it. They could fix Nellie. He just needed to try and calm down so that they could. Gently, he felt himself move off of sitting on his hands. Felt them start to lift and snake up to wrap around him and hold him in a way that felt good. That felt safe. Protected. It felt like he could just let go.

He didn’t want to feel this way anymore. Didn’t want to feel any of it. And somehow he knew they would be able to help him stop feeling that way. They’d be able to fix it for him, they could fix Nellie. Stop him from causing more damage to their belongings and their body. He didn’t mean for it to happen, he never meant to hurt them, never meant to hurt himself. But he just couldn’t help it. So, that’s what he did. He let the pair take his place, and went into the back.

#moon knight #moon knight system #moon knight fanfic #steven grant #jake lockley #marc spector #autistic steven grant #(Marc & Jake are as well but this is just focused on Steven) #my fic #ao3 #hurt/comfort #meltdowns #we stan Nellie the elephant here #writing

[soccer-love]

Spontaneous

Maxi Rall x reader

“Does it hurt?” I ask my fingertips carefully tracing over the lines of the tattoo on her arm, my head resting on her stomach. 

“Maybe a little in the beginning, but after some time you don't really feel it anymore.” she explains, softly caressing my hair. 

I love the summer in Munich but right now the temperatures are somewhere around 35 degrees celsius (95 Fahrenheit) and at night, it barley cools down, so we decided to sleep on the mattress on the balcony of our shared apartment. 

Maxi is reading some book and I tried to also focus on a book I wanted to read but its too hot so I just lay there and do nothing except thinking. 

I love her tattoos, I always did. And I thought about getting one. 

“I want to get one too.” I say and she looks at me again, putting her book down. 

“Where?” she asks and starts to play with my hair, a thing she often does without realizing it.  

“On my upper arm maybe.” I explain and she nods. 

“Have you thought about a design yet?” 

“Do you remember the elephant I showed you, that my dad always draw for me when I was a little? I think I want this.” I explain. 

“Yeah, you have them as your phone background.” she answers and I turn on my side, one arm over her. 

“Would you come with me?” 

“Of curse.” she softly, rubs her thump over my cheek. 

I love how soft her hands are. 

“Thanks.” I say and lean over, leaving a kiss on her nose. 

Maxi giggles, softly running her hand through my hair. 

“Can you give me a real kiss?” 

“Oh so you think these aren't real kisses?” I ask and place a kiss on her cheek, then one on her temple and again one on her cheek. 

Before I can say or do anything she wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me down and kissing me. 

“I like all of your kisses but your lips on mine are my favorite thing.” she says and I feel this warm feeling in my heart, I love her so fucking much. 

I roll off of her and lay down next to her. 

Maxi grabs her phone and I see her searching something but I can't read what it is. 

“Incase you want to get your tattoo within the next days, there is a tattoo shop just a couple of streets away that has walk in night on the weekends.” she says and I sit up. 

“Today is Friday, right. And technically Friday is a night of the weekend.” 

Maxi nods and I stand up. 

“Then lets go, I want to get a tattoo today.” I say and hold out my hand for her. 

Maxi laughs but grabs my hand and I pull her up. 

“I love it when you have this spontaneous moments.” she says and I look up, she's around five inches taller than me. 

“I’m not that spontaneous.” Maxi shakes her head laughing. 

“Oh no...well you asked me to move in with you, in the middle of making out.” she reminds me and I feel my cheeks getting red. 

To be honest, it was like that, we were in her apartment, somewhere in between kissing and getting rid of each others shirts, when I pulled back and asked her to move in with me. 

“But I didn't made that decision that fast, I was thinking about way longer before I asked.” I explain. 

“Love it though.” she says and leans down to kiss me. 

“Then let's go.” I grab her hand and pull her towards the door. 

Grabbing my phone and wallet on the way. 

“Chill babe.” 

Hand in hand we walk outside and down the street to the tattoo shop. 

Therese a women sitting at the front test and she gives us a big smile as we walk in. 

“Hey you two, how can I help you?” she asks and I can see her eyes flickering the the tattoo on Maxis arm. 

“I wanna get a tattoo.” I say and she nods, getting up. 

“Great, I’m Angela but Angie is completely fine.” 

“Y/N.” I say

“Maxi.” 

“Nice to meet you two, come with me please.” 

Angie leads us into a room in the back of the shop. 

“Am I right that this is your first tattoo?” she asks and I nod. 

“Yeah.” 

“Cool, just sit down.” she says pointing to a blue couch while she sits down at the small desk. 

“Do you have thought about the place where you want it and the design yet?” Angie asks turning towards us. 

“Yes, on my left upper arm.” I say and pull out my phone to show her the drawing of the elephant. 

“That looks really good, if you want we can start right now.” she explains and I nod excited. 

“Great, you can sit down at already.” she adds and I get up to sit down at the tattoo chair, while she explains some things to us about tattoos. 

Angie prints out some papers I have to sign before she starts drawing the lines of the tattoo on my arm. Maxi is sitting on my other side, smiling down at me. 

“So I’m gonna start now, it will hurt but just try to focus on your breathing or on something else okay? You can also talk to me or Maxi if it helps you.” Angie says and I nod. 

“Okay then lets go.” as the needle first touches my skin I bite my lip in pain. 

“Can I hold your hand?” Maxi softly asks like she's the one getting a tattoo. 

“Yes.” I say and she places her hand on mine, so I can squeeze it. 

Maxi leans her forehead against mine, giving me a smile. 

“You’re really cool for doing this.” she whispers and I feel her thumb rubbing over the back of my hand. 

“To be honest you two are a really cute couple.” Angie says as she pauses and wipes over the tattoo lines with a towel. 

“Thanks.” Maxi says, the smile on her face growing wider. 

I love that whenever someone tells us that we’re a cute couple or someone talks about me with her, she always gets this big smile on her face, looking incredible proud. 

It takes about twenty minutes for her to finish the tattoo and when she's done I’m incredibly happy. 

“I love it.” I say and Angie smiles. 

While I pay for it she tells me some more about how I should clean it and when it gets red or hurts that I should come back. 

“Well thank you for coming by and have a great night you two.” Angie says as she leads us back to the front door. 

“Thanks to you.” I say. 

As we walk out, Maxi pulls me closer, sliding one arm around my waist. 

“How do you feel?” 

“A little bit like I’m high on drugs, but great. This was the right decision.” I explain and she smiles. 

“That's good....oh and incase you wanna get another one, feel free to make the decision as spontaneous as today.” 

“I will try.” 

#maxi rall x reader #maxi rall #maximiliane rall #fc bayern frauen #fcbfrauen x reader #fcbfrauen #dfbfrauenteam #dfbfrauenteam x reader #woso imagine #woso #woso x reader

[inthewindandinthewater]

Day Glow

A/n: Oops, I wrote this instead of another chapter of A Plain of Stars, I'm sorry but I'm having a bit of a block right now. Anyway, in the mean time have this Drabble with old boy James. I thought it was cute, definitely a good piece to hopefully rebuild some confidence in myself and get back to writing the real stuff. Hope you enjoy.

(I listened to 'Oh My Love' by John Lennon and 'Here Comes Your Man' by The Pixies while writing this)

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Day Glow

The stunning glow that bathes a room in the early morning.

That’s what it felt like, if anyone asked you that’s what you’d say. First light. 

First light after a hot sticky night, one where your covers don’t lay right and you don’t find a comfortable place to set your arms. That soft morning glow accompanied by singing burns and long, languid stretches. The feeling of that first sip of water hitting your throat after not allowing yourself respite from the cottony feeling at the back of your pallet. Fresh clothes, a hot shower, a hairbrush. 

That’s what it felt like to fall in love with James, a breath of fresh air and the feeling of sun on your skin. He was bright and bursting with it, and all too happy to bathe you in the same incandescence. 

He never second guessed it, the pull he felt to you. He saw you that day; head hung low over a book, hair falling into your eyes as you fell deeper into the word on those ink soaked pages. Maybe it was the look in your eyes or the way the pale blue shirt you were wearing seemed to bring out all the right colors in you. It didn’t matter, he was taken with you and James was never one to let something go so easily. 

He was capable of learning, and as such took a gentle approach to coaxing you out of your shell and into his awaiting arms. First a request for help on his homework, then sitting next to you in class, for academic reasons of course. He’d ask little questions about your books and your family, nodding in rapt interest, eyes glued to the captivating way your lips formed the words. 

He could only be so subtle, it was never his specialty but he’s giving it his all. That’s what made give him the time of day, anyone could see how hard he was trying to be someone you might spend your time on. 

During a particularly chilling trip to Hogsmeade you found yourself toe to toe with your biggest fan. Stumbling none too elegantly into one another with the grace of a baby elephant confronted with a large mouse. You stared up at him, making up for all his forced subtlety with a brasen gape. His nose and cheeks were tipped pink and his wild hair stuck up in that frustratingly sleep tousled way that had you longing to card your fingers through it. One corner of his rosie pink lips quirked up in boyish smirk, you knew you were a goner, but you hadn’t guessed it’d be this bad. 

That was the beginning of a short road to a long honeymoon phase, one that faded into a comfortable relationship which continues to feel like the first peaks of the sun through your apartment windows. The very windows that made you and James choose this apartment over the one closer to London, they were french panes and you loved them almost as much as the boy sleeping next to. 

You roll over, taring your gaze away from the windows to face James’ sleeping face. Your  hand moves of its own accord to make the very movement you longed to all those years ago in front of Honeydukes. His black curls only fluffed into a larger mess as you ran your finger through them, scratching lightly at his scalp as he leaned into your hand. He may be a stag at heart, but he always reminded you of a saint bernard. Pretty boy that he is. 

You think you could lay here forever, basking in the morning dew of the life the two of you created for yourself. All the Love you poured into one another and all the twists and turns you’d put your hearts through now wrapped in a thick layer of soft amour, which consist of nothing but the thought of coming home to one another at the end of it all. The constant knowledge that no matter what, first light will break and day glow will cover your world once again.

#the maruaders #harry potter #james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x you #self insert #love him love Aaron Taylor Johnson #no beta we die like half the characters in this gd fandom

[khushireadsandrambles]

Vanathi's Misery (Part 3)

"Vanathi, what was that?"

Vanathi stayed quite. Arulmozhi took another deep breath and said, "Is that because I am being partial towards you?" He took a hold of her hand, and her eyes widened in shock as she shivered.

"If it is because of that, I am sorry." Vanathi immediately shook her head upon hearing an apology from him.

"No Ilavarasae! It's not because of you! You can never be the cause of my miseries." Vanathi said hastily.

"Then why?" He asked her and she looked down avoiding his eyes. "Tell me Vanathi, why did you do that?" He asked her again.

"When I first came to Pazhayarai to be with Akka, I met this boy at the banks of river Ponni, who came on elephant to save some chicks. And to just tease him, I called him 'Yaanai Paaga'." A nostalgic smile washed over their face. "But, he frowned when he came to know that I am Kodumbalur's Princess." She frowned sadly and Arulmozhi felt as if someone stepped on his chest and pressed it horribly.

"When I was waiting for the young Prince to send him off for his Eezham Expedition, I was stunned to see Yaanai Paaga. I realised that I called you Yaanai Paaga, but Ilavarasae? Can this heart ever forget the one who beholds it ever so gently? No, I didn't either. My heart was taken by Yaanai Paaga, to wherever he went." Vanathi was now openly crying, choking while saying everything to him, relieving all the emotions she held in her heart.

"Ilavarasae, if I ask you something, will you tell me truthfully?" She asks and he nods. "Did you too believed that I wanted to marry you because I want throne?" Arulmozhi's silence made Vanathi's throat burn as tears formed in her eyes.

Every word was like sharpest of spears he ever encountered in battlefield. Although, he handled the pain of enemy spears but what about these? This innocent girl, who never thought ill of anyone, who never desired the riches even when gave in a gold platter, a woman who never eyed the Throne like some Princesses did, why does her words feel like spears?

Is that the power of love? A love which is done so unconditionally, that even if its never returned it never ends? Something which never tires? Although Arulmozhi knew that Poonguzhali liked him, he never had such affections towards her. He knew that Vanathi was affecting him, even if it irritated him, he couldn't stop but think about her.

"Vanathi," Arulmozhi started. "When I saw the Kodumbalur Ilavarasi crying for help, I first was amused. I was glad that someone finally didn't looked at me with stars in their eyes, someone finally didn't saw me as a Royal but a simple Yaanai Paagan." Arulmozhi smiled.

"But, when I heard that Periya Velar wishes to see you Chozha throne, a doubt erupted in my mind. It was fuelled by constant pestering. I got more and more irritated, and I started resenting you." He finished.

"What I did cannot be repented. I can't get my forgiveness from you, but I will ask for it. Vanathi, please forgive me, I beg you." Arulmozhi begged softly as he brought her palm to his forehead and shook with soft cries.

Vanathi started crying heavily and softly caressed his hairs, soon adjoining their foreheads. "Ilavarasae, I love you so much, that I can't even stay angry at you. Even if I want to." She said wiping his tears.

"Let me do my redemption Vanathi. You gave me so much, you sacrificed so much for me, just give me one thing, and I will never ask for another." He pleaded.

"My everything is yours Ilavarasae, tell me, how should I serve you?" Vanathi said.

"I want a promise." He said.

"And that is?"

"Be my Queen. Do parade with me to Thanjai. Be the only Queen who shall sit beside me and behind me at my Elephant, be my consort, be my Idhaya Arasi, my heart's queen." Vanathi's heart swelled with so much love that she launched herself forward and engulfed him in hug, while the moon outside heard their promises and sealed them together forever.

He was her Yaanai Paagan,

She was his Idhaya Arasi. -----------------------------------------------

@thatacademic @dumdaradumdaradum @vibishalakshman @kovaipaavai @dr-scribbler @hollogramhallucination @willkatfanfromasia

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#ponniyin selvan #arulmozhi #vanathi #arulmozhi varman #fanfic #desi culture #kundhavai #vandiyadevan