#the people in IT finally acknowledge that there’s an issue in my funnel

[raraeavesmoriendi]

there is. Something. about the fact that trans people who are most often treated by the cisgender patriarchal state as Failed Cis Women are getting some serious ‘friendly’ fire in the conversations about peoples’ anxieties re: the state of modern feminism and how those issues have been treated as somehow sidelined

sure, they’re still capable of misogyny. but so is Everyone. it came Free with being raised in a Patriarchal Society. there is no gender, cis or trans, that is somehow immune to being misogynistic.

like, the fact that some trans voices are finally being spotlighted in the feminist movement is much needed and long overdue.

but spinning around to point at people who aren’t women, women-adjacent, or even aligned with any gender, and accuse them of being The Misogynist All Along like some sort of scooby doo villain feels like it’s still vastly missing the point.

like. the people who have the most access to patriarchal privilege are the same white supremacist perisex guys who are passing the laws to try to erase all of us from existence, and the same white supremacist perisex rich guys who have been funneling them money. it’s the cis perisex abled (usually) straight white guys who still get preferential treatment at our workplacss and are still making more money than all of us. it’s the guys who have a whole church congregation behind them. it’s the perisex cis (usually) straight men who are moving to fight feminism bc they think they’re losing something they’re entitled to, the ones who think that male privilege is their birthright. it’s the fucking judicial system. it’s the electoral college we’re staring down the barrel of in november, and the powers that be that want to keep it there.

it is not the guy who also gets misgendered when we both have to show up for our fucking planned parenthood appointments, or the rest of us who always get talked over when we say “please for the love of fuck can we call it reproductive rights instead of tying it to bioessentialist bullshit, there’s more people than just cis women that have issues getting proper care, trans women included” and then got told by well-meaning gen x feminists that “we have to call it women’s rights for now if we want to save roe, we can educate people later”

…and here we fucking are anyway, by the way, which is absolutely part of the reason that the general public needs their concept of feminism refreshed.

but. call me insane (and I am Mad so sure). I don’t think it should be somehow an offense to consider there are multiple types of transphobia to think about as we update this conversation, and the fact that a binarist perisex system will swing itself in different ways to best hit different targets. these discussions are all owed their due. I think there are more complex things at work here than, as typical, gets kicked around in snappy internet posts.

there’s this weird conception right now that people who figured out they aren’t actually women anymore (or never were, define thyself as thou wilt) are somehow amnesiac to misogyny, that suddenly there’s some huge gap there, when like. I don’t know any of us who ever actually escape it.

I still see post-op trans men - with full beards! - who get called poor mutilated, deluded women, and the violence towards them is gendered as such.

I have many, many non-binary or bigender or genderfluid colleagues and friends who, because they cannot afford to medically transition yet (or don’t want to, as is their right) have their social transition outright ignored. and then have the trauma that comes from having your actual self denied in every facet of your life treated as like, ‘woman lite’ or, more heartbreakingly, ‘easy mode.’

like it’s easy, being told from all sides “no you aren’t” when I have my proper pronouns posted every fucking where I can think of, personally and professionally, and there’s a 25% chance they ever get properly used and I ever get acknowledged as myself, because I still have my tits. that if I try to stand up for myself as often as I honestly should and deserve, I will be treated as a difficult and delusional woman. when people (usually cis men) threaten me with violence, it’s misogynistic violence. I am repeatedly misgendered as a woman when I try to see a doctor about anything to do with my uterine system that I did not choose and am actively trying to get rid of, because as long as I have it, people will overlook the part of me that is true for the part of me convenient to their system.

I am a scholar in my genre who specializes in researching the lenses of feminist and queer theory both. they have saved my life on multiple occasions when I did not have hope for my present. I have been aware of my place in the feminist struggle before I knew I was anything other than a woman. part of my gender struggle was a feeling of loss at realizing that maybe, actually, I wasn’t one, no matter how happy I am now in living authentically.

some of the most misogynistic people I have ever had the misfortune to meet are, in fact, cis women. me and the rest of the “theyfabs” are not the ones who are out here talking about “girl dinner” “girl math” “girl roman empire” “why did feminists fight for women to work I don’t want a job.” me and leaf and newt are not the people causing trad wives and stay at home girlfriends to do numbers on video apps. that is cis women. the majority of white cis women, demographically, tend to vote and pass legislature in anti-feminist ways, which is no surprise given the white supremacy involved there. but like. the call is still coming from inside the house, yet I don’t see them being reviled as perpetrators in these posts about feminism needing a revamp in the public eye. only deluded victims of the patriarchy who don’t know what’s good for them. which is also… not great, for misogynistic reasons.

like. I don’t know, this is long and not very articulate, but every so often I see a post circulate that I in theory should be very encouraged and relieved to see, as it affirms something I’ve always known —

only to wonder if I am suddenly going to be specifically charged with one of the main oppressions I have been struggling against my entire life and likely will be until I die, no matter how I try to assert my own autonomy over my life

or if I’m going to be talked over and have my autonomy rejected and ignored again, because I happen to have “what makes us girls.”

“well sock—” like. I apologize, but I don’t understand how I’m supposed to be in on the joke.

#anyway. #long post #rae grumbles #non-binary stuff #genderqueer stuff #first person to come at me with terf rhetoric or call me a dumb theyfab gets me crawling through their walls at 3 am

[saintprivateer]

I understand the ideas behind the zemenipearls post but can we not just have a nice fictional world? It’s not like the Kerch are made out to be a great nation of saintly people, it’s all fantasy for a reason. I won’t get started on their posts about my girl Nina and my dude Nikolai 😒

Okay... there’s a lot of ground to cover here so boot up cowhand I wrote a LOT

No matter how unlike-this-world a fantasy universe seems, it was still crafted by a real human who IS a part of this world. And humans put their own beliefs and experiences into their stories as the foundation for how ideal/ not-ideal they want the au to be. We use the environment around us as a stepping stone for our stories, and this DOUBLES if the author is saying “This World Is Not Like Ours At All”. The question authors answer of “What exactly is this au not like?” Rounds back to the place we are trying to distance ourselves from, because that is what this au is “not like.” And most often, authors craft these fantasy universes and bring the reader into a whole new world only to go back to a REAL theme of “This World Is Actually More Like Yours Than You Think.” Because that’s usually the entire point. We like fantasy because we want to see our nature mirrored in worlds unlike ours. We love that people can fly and cast spells, but we REALLY love when they’re as human as us in behavior/interests/ actions.

All that’s to say: you can’t actually write a racism-free world if you’ve never experienced a racism-free world. The ideals we want to portray will still be flawed and not 100% ideal, because the notion we have OF this ideal is fundamentally flawed. ESPECIALLY if we are still unlearning our own fallacies to these ideals. Grishaverse has anti-blackness threaded in the pages because there is anti-blackness on Earth and anti-black fallacies in the ideals Leigh Bardugo has internalized (like any other white person). If we can acknowledge the argument that meanings can be found in stories/art whether it was intended or not, then we have to acknowledge Leigh Bardugo wrote in her own prejudice or anti-black ideals into the grishaverse, whether intended or not. She wanted to write a story removed from the racism we know, and that in of itself isn’t a bad thing to imagine. But she still wrote tropes actively harmful to the minorities they represent.

“Why do you have to look for patterns that aren’t there and nitpick on characters? Why does everything have to be about race? Isn’t it enough that our heroes are TRYING to be good?”

When people say this, they usually mean “Why are you putting this in my face? We (the group not affected) were all doing fine until you decided to be grumpy about something, and I don’t want my ideals soiled by your criticisms.”

Imagine seeing the person who’s supposed to represent you and your identity be repeatedly trashed, ignored, dumbed down, dismissed, killed off, etc etc in canon and in the fandom, and when you finally get the courage to bring it up, the entirety of people not affected silence and threaten you for rocking their boat. You really can’t imagine how that actually feels unless you’ve felt it. When you write off the consistently abusive treatment of a community of people in a book as an inconvenient—and thus invalid— topic that “ruins” the characters or plots you want to root for, you’re acknowledging the privilege you have in being able to look the other way when these patterns have been brought to your attention.

There’s a lot you might not catch when you aren’t a part of the communities affected. If someone is gracious enough to extend their emotional and intellectual labor to point it out to you despite the all the gaslighting and harassment they face, the LEAST you can do is have an open mind and release the defenses and previous ideals you’ve cultivated for the characters you love. Black fans don’t owe it to you to spell it out, but they sometimes do! Despite how white fans treat them in return.

You said “it’s not like the Kerch are made out to be a nation of great saintly people.” Great! So we agree everyone should be praised and criticized accordingly? And when it’s pointed out that a character exhibits bigotry we can acknowledge that as a part of the environment they’ve lived in and thus a trait of themselves?

You can enjoy any universe or the characters that come with it in full capacity, and no one is asking you to discard stories entirely because of the mistakes. Nikolai meant and means a lot to me because of the ideals that I crafted in my head from 16 up. He’s a comfort character! He was my vision of a masc-presenting adventurer who got by with wit and charm and aesthetics. The people who love him see something of themselves in him, or someone they love. But he’s still a product of his environment. Just because I don’t want that to be true doesn’t make it untrue. Ravka is fantasy Russia but .*•*~more idealistic*.~*. This doesn’t take away the fact that the foundation is...still Russia. He’s still a privileged white king thats actively oppressing minorities in the story by upholding the kingship as it is, and if he continues the path he’s on, he’s not much better than his heritage. I love Nina to death but she’s still the jarhead kid in your algebra class ready to fight anyone who says her country merits basic criticism. The kingdom of Ravka would need to be entirely dismantled and recreated. Nikolai might seem more progressive than the kings before him, but he’s got a lot to be reprimanded for, and rebuilding can’t even start until he acknowledges and unlearns that. Which...he hasn’t, not fully, and there’s no written proof of him doing so as of now.

Before I made myself research more I got just as defensive of him and others. I’m sure I’ll get defensive over another story and have to relearn everything all over again. It’s a process and you have to check yourself all the time. But it’s a step towards the ideals we want to actually live in. If I want to imagine Nikolai a better man, I have to start from the scraps I’m given.

So yes!! You’re allowed to draw up your own themes and ideals from the stories and reimagine the characters to fit a narrative that makes your heart happy. But it won’t change the reality of the canon universe. Zemenipearls enjoyed the grishaverse so much she made a fan account for it, participates in fan-led events that celebrate the characters (and sometimes leads those events herself), commissions artists to make fanart, and has ongoing works that delve into the expansive universe that better represents her and what she wants for black characters in fantasy. And she STILL gets shit for imploring a conversation about what we all want to ignore away. Why would she put so much energy into this if she didn’t care or believe in this story too? If you also care about grishaverse that much, shouldn’t we be willing to uplift and reimagine by starting where the work needs it most?

Okay I’ve said a LOT SORRY HHHHH BUT TO WRAP UP: Ignoring a fictional character’s faults or repercussions is one thing, and I’m not about to waste energy on making people hold characters in a book accountable. We all see how people treat the Darkling.

But when you participate in or ignore the bullying and threatening that happens to REAL people, when people JUSTIFY that shit as if it merits denying a person their humanity, THATS the actual harm being done. (Not saying you’ve done that, but the mindset I’m seeing here is what feeds into that compliance.)

If we have the energy to protect and coddle our fictional white boys and let them burn the sandbox down, I KNOW we have energy to respect and protect black fans who have just as much say in how they see the story or how they reimagine it. If you have the energy to accept/tolerate the stuff alarkling fans promote, I KNOW you have the energy to put your pride away and acknowledge fallacies in your own ideals for characters. And regardless!!! of whether you “agree” with the criticisms or not, does that mean the person who spoke up about the issue deserves to be harassed?

I’m gonna ask the white ya majority reading this to be humble and open your hearts up to change the way you do for fictional edgy white dudes. Y’all have the SPIRIT but then it funnels into the WRONG IDEAS!!! PLEASE use your heads you’d be unstoppable if you used your privilege to amplify the ones who need amplifying. I promise Cardan BlackBerry and Alesksxxander Marigold aren’t gonna be disappointed in you 😔🙏

#that’s my piece on THAT sorry I’ve had time to sit with this #I wanted to go ahead and get it out on one thing too so I can refer back possibly #fandom racism #anti blackness #grishaverse #Nikolai Lantsov #kos king of scars #Nina Zenik #Ravka #analysis #ya fiction #zemenipearls #tgt the grisha trilogy #soc six of crows #ck crooked kingdom

[inkdrawndreamer]

Speak No Evil: the cathartic power of horror

*for full effect, pretend I’m reading this in Ryan Hollinger’s voice*

I completely understand why some people balk at the idea of horror as a comforting thing, but at the same time, it’s really not that hard to wrap your head around if you think about it for a moment. People flock to positive, wholesome content during times of crisis because it allows them to stop thinking about negative things. Similarly, some people flock to horror because it allows them to think experience negative things in a controlled environment.

Horror media — whether it takes the form of art, fiction, a game, or a movie — creates space in which to experience pain and discomfort without physical danger. While there are situations where the media in question can still be harmful, like if the content is a trigger for a specific trauma, some people with trauma will also intentionally revisit triggering media as a kind of exposure therapy. This system is not without its problems, but it can also do a lot of good.

For people who are used to keeping certain psychological issues under wraps, horror can provide a venue in which to confront those issues without fear of retribution. Horror can be a space to vent the ugliness we carry with us constantly, a place to drop our proverbial bags off at the end of the day.

In my own case, I play horror games as a way to deal with my own bouts of stress and dissociation. After finally being diagnosed with anxiety and depression as a teenager, playing Silent Hill games became my go-to method for funneling my symptoms elsewhere. Following Heather Mason through the fluid dimension that housed her demons mimicked my own descent into months-long derealization spells. The fact that the enemies in the game represented the characters’ fears and traumas definitely factored into the therapeutic effect it had on me. Even now, I often listen to the soundtracks to calm me down when my anxiety runs high, because they serve as reminders that I have somewhere to go when I feel like I need to eject.

This is the power of seeing our worst experiences mirrored in fiction: through made up characters and gory set pieces, we are reassured not only that we’re not alone, but the that our experiences were indeed just as horrific as they feel to think about. In a world that loved to brush off the effects of trauma even before a worldwide pandemic hit, people are often expected to carry their pain and stress in silence, lest they inconvenience anybody by simply acknowledging that the situation they’re in is making their lives difficult. For some people, the way to cope is to have space to forget their troubles altogether, leave their baggage at the door, and focus on something that isn’t unbearably heavy for once. For others, the way to cope is to confront those troubles with all the anger, pain, and fear that they’re not supposed to let anyone else see. 

My personal belief is that everyone needs both of these things to varying degrees. I’ve been turning to horror more often as a coping mechanism in the last few years, but even I’m not immune to the exhaustion that comes with trying to desensitize yourself to everything that scares you. Everyone needs to be able to change gears when necessary, but no one can do that if they’re only ever allowed one way to decompress regardless of what necessitates it. At the end of the day, giving people a path to explore all the worst case scenarios they can conjure up is just as important as giving people the ability to turn away from all the doom and gloom for a while.

#I got frustrated while drawing and started listening to the sh2 soundtrack #so this happened #horror #covid-19 #silent hill #derealization #unreality #anxiety #depression #ocd #ptsd memes #mental heath support #Clover muses #Clover's personal biz

[appples]

Bakugo and Dabi x reader fanfic cont.

Here is some more blurbs with everyone’s favourite angry boy

“Get down!” I heard Bakugo’s voice scream at me from across the room. Still bound, I was unable to follow his advice. Noticing, he propelled himself towards me, throwing his body against mine moments before I saw the flames fan out against his back. He winced in pain, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him.

“We need to leave, they’re going to destroy each other and everything in their path. I need to melt your binding, this is going to hurt.”

“Do it as fast as you can.” He nodded and took hold of the metal restraints attaching me to the wall. The metal heated up instantly, aggressively burning against me skin. He said it would hurt but neglected to mention just how long it would take.

“Hold on, almost there…” he gritted his teeth. A whimper escaped  as he funnelled more power and heat through his hands. I looked up as he remained silent, determination and quilt filled his eyes. 

“Stop trying to be delicate, give it a strong blast or we are never getting out of here.” Bakugo looked down and met my eyes, holding them for a moment. He nodded and proceeded to do as I said. I knew I couldn’t scream, it would likely alert Dabi and everyone to our departure. Instead I bit my tongue as the searing around my wrists stripped away the flesh. The moment the bindings clattered to the ground, Bakugo’s arms wrapped around me, lifting my legs around his waist. In another life this could have been a different scenario with my legs around him and breasts painfully pressed against his chest.

“Hold on, I’m getting us out.” My arms shook as I wrapped them around his neck, pressing myself painfully close against him. The roar of his hand cannons was deafening as we lifted into the sky.

When we finally settled back down, I noticed the surroundings to be familiar. Before I could ask, he answered my question.

“I brought you back to my place, at least here I know you’re safe. We can take care of your burns too.” I had been neglecting looking at them as I was actively trying to block out the pain. Slowly my legs begin to unhook to let myself down but Bakugo, holds them in place with one arm and the other wrapping around me.

“I-“ I try to protest but he cuts me off.

“Shut up, you’re injured.” I huffed before resting my chin in the crook of his neck, my nose filling with his smell of leather and spices. There were no more protests from me as we continued inside and into a master bathroom. He sat me on the vanity before  rummaging around for a professional looking medical set up. His eyes were focused on the task infant of him, almost as if he was avoiding looking at me. While was I was looking quite disheveled that was;’t the issues. 

“Stick out your arms.” Standing infront of me and still refusing to look up. I hesitated before turning them over to him. He sucked in a hiss at the sight of what his quirk had done to me. Unless I saw someone with a cosmetic or healing quirk soon, I would have burn rings around my wrists and forearms for life. His touch was so gentle you would almost think he wasn’t touching at all, which is hard to imagine when you see how rough and beat his hands are from years of battles and training. Before he applied the ointment I took his hands in mine,

“Thank you but you didn’t need to come looking for me.”

“What are you talking about? I found you basically chained to a wall, your clothes are torn to shreds and you’re filthy. He would have destroyed you, maybe not all at once but until there was nothing left of you.”

“Maybe”

“Maybe, is that all you can say? Is this some fucking Stockholm syndrome shit?”

“No, this just isn’t your problem”

“What the fuck, you’re not a problem.” His work were abruptly replaced with a silence before be began again. “Look, let me deal with these burns and I will draw you a bath. You can do whatever you want after.” Finally he began applying the ointment.

“Thank you” I whispered. His eyes flickered in brief acknowledgement of my words as he continued with what he was doing. 

The bath was almost too hot, which kind of made sense. I eased myself in, hissing as my skin disappeared beneath the surface. What day was it? Time stopped being relevant a while ago. A sharp knock announced Bakugo’s presence at the door, 

“I’m leaving some clothes here for you. They’re going to be too big but it’s all I have on hand.” The door closed immediately as he made his exit as quickly as his entrance. I hadn’t given any thought to what I was to wear once I got out of the bath. My clothes I had been wearing were mostly destroyed and wouldn’t be wearable. 

His  shirt felt impossibly soft as it fell down my shoulder. “Too big” was an understatement, I was swimming in his clothes. The shirt alone went to my knees, wearing the sweatpants felt like I was constantly tripping over myself. Quickly they came off. All my time spent in the bathroom I avoided looking in the mirror, I didn’t want to see how pathetic I looked. It was pointless though, there were marks and burns all over my body. No matter how much or how little I looked at them though, I couldn’t bring myself to hate him. Bakugo didn’t even attempt to hide his reaction, I wish I knew what he thought. 

Peering around the corner I expected to see Bakugo to be on the couch, not cooking a meal.

“I’m making curry.” How did he even know I  was there? “It’ll be ready in twenty minutes.” Unsure what to do, I make my way to the table and seat myself. Everything is delicately set in place, intentionally set there. Truthfully the entire apartment was like that. For a pro hero in their twenties, you wouldn’t expect their home to be so immaculate. His pride extended beyond himself, although not in a boastful way more so just an extension of who he is.

“Why are you staring at me?” I hadn’t realized how intently I was watching him. My eyes dropped away,

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” I opened my mouth to contest but couldn’t find any words to fill it. Instead, he took the opening. “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know.” It was vague, but honest. Looking at my forearms I could feel the burning again but there was no pain. Every other mark and burn began to throb. Violently reminding me of what I had been through the last few days. Although, how long had it actually been?

“How long…” I hesitated to continue. How long, what? Since I was captured? How long was I tortured?

 “Seven days”. He abruptly stopped chopping. “I’m sorry we didn’t get there sooner.” The grip on the knife audibly tightened. 

“Please don’t be sorry, there isn’t anything you could have done.”

“Do you hear what you’re saying?”

“I’m sorry?”

“He tortured and violated you, all because I couldn’t keep you safe enough until...until I brought you to Endeavour. God knows what he would have done to you. Did you know that?” Katsuki slammed the knife he was holding down and turned around, “Did you?!” His voice cracked as he screamed at me. 

“Dabi had told me that he started searching for me when he heard that Endeavour was tracking me down to use my quirk for himself and his...projects”

“And I was the one tasked with bringing you to the slaughter.”

“You work for him, do you not? You were just doing what you were told.”

“Why the fuck are you making excuses for me?” 

“I am not your responsibility.”

“I’m supposed to be a hero, to protect and keep people safe. Not to and someone over to become property of another.”

“Still not your responsibility. But thank you.” I look down, wringing my bandaged wrists. Katsuki grabs my hands with his, I hesitate and realize how fast my heart is racing before looking up to meet his gaze. His eyes burned like the intensity of cinnamon. 

“Stop it, dumbass. And don’t fucking say sorry again. Dinner will be ready soon.” I didn’t want him to let go of me, I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to feel something warm and safe. As he began to let go my body moved with his, I pulled back once I realized what I was doing. His eyes looked through me as if I were sheer, I wanted to be seen but was afraid of him seeing what I was holding beneath the surface. Instead I nodded and dropped my arms. Katsuki huffed before turning around and resuming dinner preparations. To be honest I didn’t know what to do. I was only held captive for a week but somehow in that amount of time I forgot how to live. So I sat down in silence. Occasionally staring as Bakugos shoulders moved fluidly as he cooked. Hunger wasn’t something that had registered in a while and the strong smells of curry were beginning to become overbearing. My legs were moving before it consciously registered that I was about to throw up. It happened so fast I didn’t have time to say anything before I sprang from my chair and took off down the hall, towards the toilet. There had long since been anything to actually throw up, bile and acid taking the vacant position. The back of my throat always salivates before I vomit. A hand appeared on my back as I leaned over the toilet seat for a second time. My hair pulled back and out of my face. Silence filled the air between wretches, tears leaked from the corners of my eyes. 

“There you go, that must feel better.” Bakugo calmly whispered to me, his hand had warmed and rubbed small circles into my back as his other continued to hold my hair out from harms way. Everything about me felt weak and pathetic in that moment. Worse things happen to people all the time, and they seem to get on with it. So what was wrong with me?

“Finished?” I nodded before spitting out the last of the bile in my mouth. Bakugo arms slipped under me and lifted me as if it was the most natural thing to do. I didn’t protest, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. He walked me into his bedroom, where he proceeded to lay me down on his bed. Sleep began to announce itself. Tucking me into bed, he paused, 

“Is there anything you need?” Bakugo softly questioned. I shook my head no, aware of what the correct answer is but my body betrayed me and held onto Bakugo as he went to pull away. He didn’t say anything and instead sat down on the edge of the bed, still holding my hand. With him there and completely focused on me, I finally began to relax and sleep abruptly washed over me. Despite that, Bakugo stayed by my side. Watching my breathing as I shifted between states, noticing the winces and whines as I moved in my sleep. Some of the bruises had spread and were displaying themselves past where my borrowed clothing covered. He traced over each one with his eyes and made note, filling with rage each time he noticed a new one. What happened between Dabi and myself was something that runs deep and is incredibly personal but nonetheless Bakugo inserted himself and has made it his mission to protect me. While it’s far from Endeavour and Dabi trying to control me, it feels oddly similar. Maybe it’s simply what I have grown to depend on but he genuinely seemed to care beneath his gruff persona. 

I woke up to an empty room, gasping air. Fragments of a dream quickly faded away, leaving only traces of what felt like smoke in my memory. How long had I been asleep for? When did Bakugo leave? Thrusting myself out of bed I stumble as I steady my breath. My surroundings are still unfamiliar as I grasp for anything to bring me down. The room itself is small and I find the door with ease. Propping myself up against the frame I try and make sense of what I am trying to accomplish instead of going back to sleep

#bnha #mha #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katuski x reader #mha bakugou #bakugou smut #bakugou x reader

[giftofshewbread]

Cry Out to God

By Daymond Duck    Published on: April 18, 2021

On Apr. 7, 2021, Jean Worland posted an article titled “America just died a little…”

It was written by an unknown writer, and I want to pass on some of what the writer said.

It looks like the Deep State is controlling everything in Washington (Congress, the FBI, the CIA, the Justice Dept, the Pentagon, the Military) plus Silicon Valley, the social media, cable news, and more.

The Clintons have never been prosecuted for destroying e-mails, phones, servers, etc. (add to that pedophilia, and more).

Obama, Comey, Brennan, Clapper, Rice, and others have never been prosecuted for spying on Trump, falsely accusing Trump officials, etc.

Soros is never prosecuted for funneling money to groups that riot, loot, destroy property, etc.

Durham’s report on the Russian Collusion myth has never come out.

I will add that:

Dianne Feinstein was on the Senate Intelligence Committee (and even chaired it for a few years) while employing a Chinese Communist as her office manager and driver, and her husband was getting wealthy trading with China, and nothing was done about it.

Eric Swalwell was on the House Intelligence Committee with access to all of America’s intelligence when it was discovered that he had slept with a Chinese spy that helped get him elected. Nancy Pelosi (whose husband also got rich trading with China) refused to remove him, and even reappointed him, and nothing has been done about it.

There is plenty of evidence of election fraud, but the courts, including the U.S. Supreme Court, refused to hear most of it (and now the Shadow government wants to pack the court so they can get away with everything they have done in the past and everything they plan to do in the future).

Biden says “no Amendment (to the U.S. Constitution) is absolute,” signaling the Shadow Government’s plans to destroy freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and disarm America so they can do what they want, and no one can resist them.

Things are not hopeless because persecution causes God’s people to cry out to God, and when enough do that, He rescues them.

Here are several reasons why I believe the global situation will worsen, cause more of God’s people to cry out, and soon result in Christians being caught up (Raptured).

One, concerning the days of Noah (wickedness): on Apr. 9, 2021, it was reported that experts have confirmed that the abandoned laptop computer at a Delaware repair shop belonged to Hunter Biden, and there is no evidence that the information on it is not true or that it is “Russian disinformation.”

Tony Bobulinksi has verified the accuracy of e-mails on the computer, the work order that was signed when the laptop was left at the repair shop contains Hunter Biden’s signature, and Hunter now acknowledges that “it could be his.”

The laptop contains evidence that Hunter and his dad (Pres. Joe Biden) potentially betrayed America, and Hunter was a sex abuser and drug addict.

Despite this strong evidence, it looks like Hunter and Joe are going to get away with their crimes.

Two, on Apr. 4, 2021, Pope Francis sent a letter to the spring meeting of two globalist groups, the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund (IMF).

Francis called for a new system of global government, a new system of social order (a godless world religion), everyone on earth to be vaccinated for Covid, and wealth redistribution (a new economic system; The Great Reset) so poorer countries can help pay for programs to fight “climate change.”

Francis’ call to restructure the world mentioned “the common good” (the way he often refers to world government) several times; it totally ignored Jesus, and mentioned God only one time.

These three global systems (world government system, world religious system, and world economic system) will be established, and the role of God and Jesus will be ignored while they are setting it up.

It is incredible that the leader of a religious organization that is located in a city on seven hills is playing an important role in this.

Three, in Jan. 2021, the state of California passed a law requiring officials to jail prisoners according to their gender identity.

On Apr. 6, 2021, it was reported that 261 prisoners that were jailed as men have said they are women, requiring them to be transferred to women’s cells.

Some officials believe some prisoners could be lying about their gender in order to be jailed with women, and this will increase sexual violence and pregnancies in prisons that house women.

Connecticut and Massachusetts have passed similar laws.

Four, the Biden administration is pushing the Green New Deal, and some of those behind it want U.S. citizens to eat less meat.

This passage of Scripture has come to my mind, “Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth” (I Tim. 4:1-3).

Five, concerning the Mark of the Beast: on Apr. 11, 2021, the Soufriere Volcano on the Caribbean Island of Saint Vincent was erupting and approaching a possible danger level.

Officials decided to use cruise ships to evacuate the island, but they would only allow those that have been vaccinated to board the ships.

Unvaccinated people that wanted to be vaccinated immediately could be, but they would still not be allowed to board the ships because their vaccination could cause them to have side effects.

Six, many that follow current events have seen reports that Covid is mutating, and there could soon be a need for vaccinated citizens to be vaccinated with new vaccines.

We have also seen calls for “vaccine passports” and other ways to track and identify those that have been vaccinated.

On Apr. 5, 2021, Dr. Anthony Fauci said the U.S. will not require citizens to use vaccine passports, but he believes the private sector (businesses, schools, etc.) will require proof of vaccination if citizens want to use them (buy and sell, get an education, have a bank account, seek medical care, etc.).

Moreover, it was recently reported that one of Biden’s senior advisors said the Biden administration is already providing guidance to the private sector on this issue.

We don’t know how long it will take, but there is good reason to believe that new vaccines and tracking systems could eventually lead to the Mark of the Beast.

Seven, on Apr. 7, 2021, it was reported that former Vice Pres. and Chief Scientist for Allergy and Respiratory Research at Pfizer, Dr. Mike Yeadon, said governments, media and big tech are lying to the public about Covid.

Yeadon said they are planning to produce billions of vaccines for Covid “variants,” and regulatory officials are planning to approve those vaccines without testing them to see if they are safe for the public.

This former Pfizer executive added that he cannot think of any reason to vaccinate potentially billions of people with untested vaccines they don’t need unless it is being done to reduce the population of the earth.

On Apr. 10, 2021, a study of 400 people in South Africa found that more vaccinated people are getting the new strain of Covid than unvaccinated people.

On Apr. 12, 2021, it was reported that official government documents in the U.K. show that the next round of Covid deaths may be higher among people that have already been vaccinated than among people that haven’t been vaccinated because Covid will spread faster among careless, over-confident vaccinated people than among more careful, unvaccinated people.

On Apr. 13, 2021, the CDC recommended a pause in vaccinations with the Johnson and Johnson (J & J) vaccine while they investigate reports of unusual blood clots in six women between the ages of 18-48 (J & J denied that the clots were linked to its vaccine).

Eight, many readers are asking me for advice on whether they should be vaccinated or not, and I am not qualified to answer that question.

A reader sent the link below to me, and those that are considering a vaccination might want to watch this video before they make up their mind.

https://www.lewrockwell.com/2021/01/bill-sardi/horrific-latent-deaths-predicted-among-the-elderly-by-genetics-professor-after-immunization-with-rna-vaccines/

The video is less than 5 minutes long, but please pay attention.

When the video ends, keep watching, and a second video will start that contains the opinions of many doctors and experts (28 min. and 34 sec.), and what they say sounds extremely important.

Finally, if you want to go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.

#guns #violence #shootings #disease #virus #lies #upon lies #from #MSM #Biden #Administration #DC #CDC #Corrupt #corona #covid #vaccine #deadly #plandemic #pope #all #part #of #greater #evil #coming #death #destruction #plagues #manmade

[tonotbelionized]

Volume 7, Episode 4: Pomps & Circumstances

Well, that was... an episode. I honestly had difficulty writing this review and needed a few days to think things through properly, especially with the ending and some important characters coming back. So, let’s just get into it!

The biggest thing that jumped out to me was the Monochrome food. I loved it, Monochrome is one of my biggest OTPS, and the small details during that scene with Jacques and Weiss, as well as the rest of her team’s reactions, they were just so good. Ruby seemed confused and upset, Yang was yangry, but Blake looked furious. She knows what it’s like to be in Weiss’ shoes, and the hand holding just shows that she’s there for Weiss, as well as the rest of the team.

Adding onto Ruby’s small expression changes with Weiss’ counter to Jacques. She’s sad when Weiss says they’re not friends, likely because not only is this coming off the revelation that Harriet doesn’t see her team as friends, but reminds her of her and Weiss’ less than great start in Beacon. Weiss wasn’t there to make friends, and she and Ruby clearly didn’t get along, so hearing her say that after everything they went through scared Ruby.

But that’s not what Weiss meant. Ruby isn’t her friend, because she’s her family. With that last bit, Ruby’s expression completely changes to happiness because Weiss is acknowledging that, yes, Ruby is not only a teammate, a partner, and a friend, but she’s Weiss’ family.

They’re all Weiss’ family now, and for someone who actually has the biggest family of the girls and yet felt the loneliest, that seemed like the best thing for Weiss at that moment. Jacques may be her father, but he’s not family. 

It definitely makes up for the ballsup with Weiss’ “White Guilt” complex in the last episode that I really hated, and I’m just glad for more interactions between the girls that aren’t partners.

On top of that, the way Team RWBY is played off of the Ace Ops following Harriet’s confession is interesting. While I’ll note something that I didn’t quite like later on, I did enjoy that how Ruby views her team and how Harriet views her team sets the two kingdoms apart nicely. Ozpin believed in working together, that your partner was someone you would have to trust and work with, along with your team, for the four years they were at Beacon, and even after they graduate.

He encouraged the girls to be children, to have fun and not worry about the war that was going on in the shadows, and it’s clear that above all else, he wanted the teams to be ones that work together not only professionally, but emotionally as well. It fits into not only his personality, but his whole goal. He wants everyone to be united and that starts with the students under his care.

James is more practical and professional. He treats Ozpin and Glynda like close friends, and he’s nice enough to Ruby and the other students, but he makes no mistake in letting them know that he’s the general and that he’s not their friend. He pushes for the Academy to funnel into the military, and isn’t against Atlas’ push for unity and conformity regardless of what the individual might want.

It’s reflected in their teachings. While Ozpin wants his students to remain kids and not worry, Ironwood already pushed for his students to be ready for war, regardless of whether they’re still children or not. He told Penny in the earlier volumes that they were no longer at a time of peace, and that she had to be ready, and he was the most clinical and professional when telling Pyrrha their plan to take Amber’s remaining maiden powers. He isn’t as callous as Qrow, but he doesn’t try to soften the blow or show disapproval to the plan like Glynda and Ozpin.

So while Team RWBY have come to see their team as family that’s gotten stronger because of all the hardships they’ve been through, the Ace Ops just see it as part of the job. They’re a team, they are supposed to protect and fight alongside each other, but that doesn’t mean they’re family. Yet it’s interesting that the rookie of the group, Marrow, doesn’t seem to share that sentiment. It could be that he hasn’t been in the mindset for very long or his personality just doesn’t work with that ideal, but we’ll have to wait and see if anything comes of it.

The only downside I have to it is that it would’ve driven it home better if the Ace Ops didn’t act so chummy with each other. I never would’ve thought Harriet didn’t consider her team friends from her interactions with Marrow last episode, with teasing him over the fact that they have to “babysit” him. Or how close Vine and Elm seem to be. It just would’ve helped if they stayed professional with each other to counteract how close and personal with each other Team RWBYJNR are.

Moving onto the scene at Amity Arena, it was... there. I didn’t hate it, I didn’t like it. I’m just... meh.

I did like that the group were interacting with each other outside of not only their partners, but their teams. It was nice to see Yang joking around with Penny, or that Weiss was chatting with Ren before Nora came in. It makes them actually feel like friends that want to talk to each other, rather than having to be in the same scene because they’re the protagonists. However, I got annoyed because no one mentioned OSCAR. He’s once again been shafted from the group.

No one even asks where he is, no one even thinks about saving him some cake, or sad that he couldn’t join. It just makes it seem once again that the group just don’t care about him, and after all the bullshit they put him through last Volume, I’m beyond annoyed anymore. Please CRWBY, stop shafting my son.

I like that once again, Ruby is isolated herself from the group, just like she did in the Brunswick farm and after the fiasco with Jaune and Oscar in the last volume.

She seems to shoulder all her negative feelings by herself, but this time, rather than her just happening across Maria or Qrow busying himself with a drink, Qrow extends help out to her. Ruby is finally able to talk about what’s bothering her and Qrow isn’t thinking about his own problems without a care for anyone else like last volume. I was so happy when we finally got Summer lore after like seven volumes of hardly anything about her, and we see under the surface about how Ruby truly feels about her deceased mother.

It’s not much, but I’m glad it’s there. It was interesting that she kept secrets from her team and even Ozpin, and that the mission she died on wasn’t one that Ozpin sent her on, so the annoying ass theory that he’s somehow responsible is taken out back and put down like Old Yeller. Though I do wish it was Taiyang and Ruby talking about her, just because there’s barely any interactions between them despite Ruby also being his daughter, but it was only a mild thing for me. Overall, a very cute scene.

That being said, the topic about it... wasn’t. It was trash.

I’m tired of the whole “Ruby lying is totally different to Ozpin lying!” because it’s really not, and Qrow trying to spin it that Ozpin was keeping the truth from everyone while Ruby is letting people in is... bullshit?

WHO has Ruby let in? She couldn’t control whether her team, Qrow and Maria knew the truth because they were there when Jinn told her. She told Team JNR not because of any practical reason, but purely emotional reasons. She told them not because “Oh they’ve proven they can be trusted so they can know now.”, but “They’re my friends and I have to tell them.”

She hasn’t told anyone else. She hasn’t told Penny, the Ace Ops, Winter, even Ironwood. When should she tell them? What do they have to do to prove to Ruby that they can be trusted? What about Penny sharing the very classified information about her being a robot to Ruby, or Ironwood telling them about his plans that only a hand selected few know? Is that not enough for Ruby to think “Okay, they trust me with this, so I should trust them.”

And Ozpin trusted the Pod Squad with way more than anyone else. They knew about Salem, the war, Maidens, Magic, the Gods, everything that Ozpin himself knew except that Salem can’t be killed. And what would be the point of saying? Tell them that, freak everyone out, and just have them more likely to leave because there’s no point, even though they can still do some good by protecting the people from the Grimm that definitely won’t leave even if they could kill Salem? Or keep it from them and have them continue fighting because otherwise what else could you do? Roll over and let everyone die? 

And the worst thing is? Ruby lying wasn’t a bad thing. It was interesting, I wanted to see how she’d cope with knowing that maybe Ozpin had a reason to lie, that being betrayed over and over and over again for centuries has a way of fucking up someone’s ability to trust, and that now she’s in the leadership role without Ozpin to fall back on like in her Beacon days. It’s a complex issue, and if this scene is just Qrow saying this and now feeling like the show itself is pushing it, then I would be fine.

It’s how a character sees a problem. Just because Qrow believes that Ruby’s different from Ozpin doesn’t mean it’s actually right, but Ruby isn’t being challenged on that. Oscar isn’t there to give that counter argument, and the rest of the team is so hypocritical that it would just annoy me if they did. Blake’s kept secrets, Yang’s kept secrets, Qrow’s kept some pretty big secrets, and now with the latest episode, Weiss has a secret to keep as well.

That doesn’t mean they’re horrible people, and Ozpin keeping his doesn’t make him an asshole like the team, and by extension some of the FNDM, likes to think.

I hope Team RWBY and Ozpin can reconcile, and not just have one or the other be the only one in the wrong. The way the show is going, however, I’m worries that only Ozpin will be shown as in the wrong and have to apologise.

Moving on to the final scene, I’m so happy that Whitley came home. I missed my son.

But more seriously, I’m glad they actually showed that, yes, Whitley is being abused just like Weiss is, and without Weiss there for him to keep his walls up, we’re finally able to see him as the vulnerable teenager who scared and alone. His voice actor did great in portraying the nervousness and fear that Whitley was clearly feeling, and we know it’s not because of Watts because Whitley just sorta glares at him when he finally appears.

It’s Jacques that Whitley’s scared of. Even as the “Golden Child”, Whitley isn’t exempt from the same abuse that Winter and Weiss went through. Here’s to hoping they don’t throw yet another male abuse victim under the bus by making Whitley evil or something.

And on the topic of Watts, he’s just becoming more and more of my favourite villain. Hazel and Tyrian still outrank him, but these past two episodes have done more to endear him to me than the past three years he’s been in the show. Only downside is that “have your cake and eat it too?” line felt kinda cheesy and didn’t really bring home how intimidating Watts as a villain could truly be.

Given that Jacques knows him enough to call him by his first name, I’m curious to see what’s more for our Lorax Hacker Man.

So that’s it. Definitely the best episode of the volume so far given that I couldn’t find any BIG problems with it like the last episodes, and even though it was definitely slower, there was still tension in it without there being any fighting. Eddie did a great job with this episode and I’m looking forward to more of his works.

Episode Rating: 8.5 / 10

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 7 spoilers #episode review #crtq #I put all these points in a doc last week and with the newest episode out #my thoughts on some things have changed #it'll be elaborated in the next review

[awesomelephuoclocblog-blog]

CloudFunnels Review – ClickFunnels Rip-Off or Real Deal?

https://lephuocloc.com/cloudfunnels-review/

Welcome to our CloudFunnels Review!

Have you seen an advert for a wonder thing called CloudFunnels that will give all that you need to make glorious arrangements channels and expected to check whether it was just a ClickFunnels rip-off, or whether it was the real deal?

Taking everything into account, we are so upbeat you are doing your assessment as it is the best way to deal with dodge online stunts and simply find authentic ways to deal with get money on the web.

Exactly when you have a thing like this one that is offering a lot of features at a really negligible exertion, especially when you balance it with ClickFunnels, you have to represent the request what they are not telling you… We expected to see it for ourselves and check whether it was genuinely going to empower a novice to acquire money on the web.

Arrangements Funnels are incredibly ground-breaking, when you have the pertinent data to put them decisively, yet there is also an inspiration driving why ClickFunnels gets high evaluations, whether or not it is an exorbitant decision.

CloudFunnels cases to offer all that you need to start an online business, which suggests they are concentrating on learners, so is CloudFunnels straightforwardly for a youngster wanting to start on the web, is it a stunt or a certifiable article… we should find as we experience our study.

We should start with a smart thing audit…

Thing Review Summary

Thing Name: CloudFunnels

Originator: Cyril "Jeet" Gupta

Thing Type: Sales Funnel, Membership and Email Marketing Builder Platform

Cost: $37/month or $67 on-time charge, notwithstanding upsells ($261 + $20/month)

Best For: More Advanced Marketers with an Established Business

Cloudfunnels-review

Framework: CloudFunnels offers a phase to make bargains channels, enlistment, purposes of appearance and email displaying endeavors all from one spot. Regardless, their promoting is all over. Some bit of it is concentrating on someone wanting to start an online business (anyway they won't have a thing or traffic), concentrating on someone planning to start an association and concentrating on a present sponsor. They are endeavoring to make out they are exceptional and better to ClickFunnels by keep referencing them, which makes them sound like a copycat and there are issues with the customer reviews on their business page.

As a rule, I wouldn't endorse this to someone wanting to get money on the web. It is too much like other IM programs where they promise you the world anyway miss the mark on the very critical stuff that you will require.

Rating: 35/100

Recommended? For More Advanced Marketers, Maybe. Verifiably Not for Beginners

Here's My Top Recommended Program>>

Rundown of sections

Thing Review Summary

What is CloudFunnels?

How Does CloudFunnels Work?

The sum Does CloudFunnels Work?

What We Liked About CloudFunnels

What We Didn't Like About CloudFunnels

My CloudFunnels Review - Final Conclusion

How We Make Money Online

What is CloudFunnels?

CloudFunnels offers you a program that grants you to make bargains channels, investments, introduction pages and email exhibiting endeavors in just two or three snaps…

Regardless, there is by all accounts a mixed message on their business page. The top communicates that "Building Your Business Online Just Become Affordable". Regardless, there are strategies for building an online business that have been free for quite a while, we do just that with auxiliary publicizing. Regardless, the mixed message is apparently that they are undeniably concentrating on the complete beginner, as a further evolved promoter would no doubt straightforward their business page.

Do whatever it takes not to misjudge me, anyone online will show up at a point where they need to abuse an average arrangements channel and email advancing is up 'til now an incredible promoting strategy. Regardless, that is the explanation a logically advance promoter may benefit by this program, while there are some unquestionable openings that you ought to regardless leave and convince elsewhere to have the choice to use this item.

The first is a site, as they are not offering a site as a significant part of this… The second is the genuine traffic that will see your business pipe.

There is no point having a business pipe or an email get page, if no one is coming to see them.

In this way, they are promising all of you that you need to collect an online business… anyway a normal arrangements channel provider will truly outfit you with stuff that will help you with improving your arrangements.

There is also the reason for what are you going to progress with these business channel designs they are giving. That is the explanation we feel this thing may benefit someone who starting at now has a thing to offer and is planning to make the accompanying step with their business and not a complete amateur who is going to need to make sense of how to walk around they start running.

In any case, I don't get that vibe from their business page.

Further down their business page, they again notice it being the ideal time for you to "Make a Successful Online Business"

cloudfunnels-wrong-swarm

They also notice the 3 requirements for electronic displaying accomplishment:

Making Sales Funnels and Maximizing Customer Value

Make a Membership and Build Profits Further

Concrete a Relationship Using Email and Profit Forever

Taking everything into account, I am going to thoroughly contrast to a point. Those 3 centers are critical, beside there is a focal issue and that is there is no notification of having a thing or organization to make a business channel on. See how in one breath they are concentrating on a beginner in the first place an online business, anyway they are letting them miss the mark at the central hindrance.

We have seen an unnecessary number of these ventures that promise all of you that you need to start an online business, however they don't outfit you with all the information.

I do acknowledge that you will get a phase that will allow you to make a business channel, etc like they state yet there is little point doing that until you have something to progress or sell.

If you are a novice and are scanning for a way to deal with acquire money on the web, yet have not wandered into anything yet, by then you are best off keeping away from this program at the present time and taking a gander at a genuine planning program that will help you with starting with a strategy for getting money online from a redirection you have. We recommend Affiliate Marketing. It is novice neighborly and doesn't require confronting difficulties with a thing like this one. With our proposed planning stage, Wealthy Affiliate you can start for Free and build up a course of action of things to propel where you may benefit by a business pipe stage at some point later. Snap HERE to get acquainted with Affiliate Marketing.

If you do have a thing or organization, or maybe a site and need to see how CloudFunnels work, keep scrutinizing on.

Hi, We are John and Gem

We Learned the Secret to Making Money Online... Need to Know How We Did It?

Let Us Show You How WE Did it!

How Does CloudFunnels Work?

CloudFunnels offers a phase that can either be encouraged in the cloud, or they even let you download it and move it to a webpage you viably own. They balance themselves with ClickFunnels a ton, anyway there is an inspiration driving why ClickFunnels is a market boss and choose to function as they do.

They are surely a further evolved program and I would not fast this for fledglings or even moderate promoters, you should win incredible money before you put assets into ClickFunnels, from my perspective. In any case, manager among why they keep their funnels cloud-based is that they can successfully keep awake with the most recent without any issues rising, notwithstanding they fuse refreshes without a limit.

Taking a gander at the demo video, they have an easy to use strategy for making a business pipe and have an assurance of formats you can use. Adjusting the business page is fundamental with their WYSIWYG in-developed publication supervisor, which implies it is natural and you can believe a to be see as you change the page.

At the point when your funnel is live, you are worthy to share it and they have different consolidations you can use to share them or get portion.

Blends for Payment are:

PayPal

Stripe

Net

JVZOO

Warrior Plus

Paydotcom

Paykickstart

ThriveCart

ClickBank

As they furthermore offer an Email Marketing exertion formats, etc. They similarly grant you to join with the going with autoresponder associations:

Mail Engine

Dynamic Campaign

Steady Contact

GetResponse

HubSpot

Mail Chimp

Ontraport

Aweber

If you have to see how CloudFunnels truly works, see the demo video underneath brought to you from the owner:

My most prominent issue isn't with whether the thing will do what it affirms to do, anyway it is the truth they are concentrating on complete novices communicating that this will give all that you need to start an online business whenever it absolutely leaves behind a significant open door the part about having a thing and how to attract visitors to your business channel.

No Product + No Traffic = No Sales.

By then, we get into the costs which as regular with a program overflowing with exposure on their business page, the base thing is confined with what it offers. Which implies you have to pay more to get more features.

Haven't Made Your First $1 Yet?

Studies have shown that over 70% of the people who need to get money online have not made their first dollar yet. Along these lines, you're not alone!

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[metatiki]

Chapters: 8/8 Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford Summary:

Angsty Cullrian story about what happens if everything goes wrong after it’s fixed?

Note: This work is experimental storytelling for me. I initially wrote if for the Cullrian Discord I participate in (The Herald’s Rest, check it out!) but decided to go ahead and publish it. Expect to see a new chapter every few days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phase 8: Wisdom

The Inquisitor's words struck Cullen hard, and for a moment or two he fought for breath as the world darkened around him. A wave of despair rolled over him as a whole host of seemingly innocuous details suddenly coalesced into a whole: the Inquisitor's disinterest in him as a person and a father, her consistent rejection of his attempts to make a family, and the assassination contract to kill him before she returned from the Conclave were all parts of a whole. She had never intended to make a family with him, only to use him and then discard him.

He wracked his mind, trying to think of any time the Inquisitor and Solas had spent alone together, and came up with precious little. Oh, certainly he'd accompanied her on the field, but so had Dorian and Bull both. Surely they would have noticed something.

Unless, a little voice whispered within, Bull and Dorian were distracted with each other.

He shook his head violently, rejecting not the notion of Bull and Dorian sharing a tent, but the idea that Solas felt something like that for the Inquisitor. The man's expression as he looked at the Inquisitor held little of affection, and Solas certainly didn't seem likely to rush forward and sweep the Inquisitor into his arms.

Yet, in the end, those thoughts proved fleeting. Cullen's eyes focused on his daughter dangling limply in her mother's arms, and the world seemed to contract around him. He felt hands catch and hold him, only then realizing that Dorian had prevented a complete collapse. Forcing himself to rally, Cullen struggled to his feet and took a step forward, hands clenched into fists, as he said in a strangled voice, "She is my daughter."

The Inquisitor ignored him, her attention focused exclusively on Solas. "Think of it, Solas. You and I, Fen'harel and the Inquisitor. We would be unstoppable. We could change the face of Thedas!"

"Fen'Harel?" Dorian asked, obviously startled. "The Dalish god of all those wolf statues in Mythal's Temple?"

"Yeah, and the guy who's been funneling all sorts of new agents into the Inquisition, too," Bull said.

That shook Cullen out of his reverie. "Is that why there's been so many elves joining the Inquisition?"

Bull gave a low, dark chuckle. "Done in one, boss." Before Cullen could think about what Bull meant by calling him boss, the Qunari added, "Not that hard to infiltrate an organization when you're welcomed with open arms by the leader, though, is it?"

"Shut up!" the Inquisitor hissed, her first acknowledgment of them since she'd entered, then stepped towards Solas. "Please, Solas," she said in a wheedling tone. "Take your daughter. We're family now."

The word lashed at Cullen, reminding him of what he had once hoped to have with her even if there had been poison at the heart of it. That thought did give him pause, however, to wonder what she had offered Solas--and what, if anything, Solas had accepted.

Solas himself gave no implication of what he was feeling, though Cullen hoped that the lack of emotion meant an eventual rejection of the Inquisitor. "And if I acquiesce, we would return to Skyhold together?"

"Yes," the Inqusitor purred, in a tone Cullen recognized as her version of seduction. "The Exalted Council is a dog with no teeth, and the Qunari have failed in their attempts to weaken me. Even their own traitor didn't come running at their beck."

"You tell yourself that, bas," Bull muttered under his breath, then stepped forward. "Hey. Fade Walker. Tamassran takes Pawn."

A suggestion of surprise crossed Solas' face as his gaze shot to Bull for a split second. Then the surprise was gone, his expression falling back to neutral as he returned his scrutiny to the Inquisitor once more. Finally Solas stepped forward and took the child from her grasp, his touch gentle as he re-arranged the limp body in his arms. Cullen felt something tighten and die inside as he saw the way his daughter didn't respond, when normally she was so very inquisitive about meeting new people.

And, for the first time in years, he felt a prayer pass his lips. "Please," he whispered. "Not her. Anything but that." He felt Dorian's hand slip into his and gave the man a grateful look as he squeezed it like a lifeline.

After that, all he could do was stand and wait, feeling utterly helpless while his daughter's life lay, literally, in the hands of another.

A long, silent moment passed as Solas finished securing the child in his grasp. Then the elf raised his gaze to settle upon Bull, expression unreadable. "An odd time to resume our match, Qunari."

"How else will we know who wins and who loses?" Bull said with a grin.

The Inquisitor made a disgusted noise as her face screwed into a disdainful expression. "Just ignore them. We don't need--Ahh!" Her cry of pain accompanied a flare of bright green in her arm, and she collapsed to the ground in a fetal position as she curled around the sputtering glow.

Solas looked down at her, and his eyes flashed pale white for an instant. The glow in her arm died with barely a flicker, and Cullen heard Dorian gasp, "How--"

"I am the Dread Wolf," Solas told Dorian, then looked down at the little girl in his arms as the Inquisitor, still panting from the pain, slowly pushed herself to her knees. "And these two are among those I expected to meet."

Cullen's heart constricted in his chest as he watched Solas' hand press against his daughter's forehead. When even that failed to spark movement in her, a wave of fear momentarily overwhelmed him. Surely even the Inquisitor wouldn't--

"You know I'm right," the Inquisitor said between grated teeth. "Together we could conquer the world."

"That is not what I seek," Solas said, and this time Cullen was certain he caught an edge of irritation in the elf's voice. "I have made my goals quite clear."

The Inquisitor scoffed. "Change the world, conquer the world, restore the world, what is the difference? The world will still be ours. That is what is important. We would control it all. Just come with me and we can make our reality supreme." Suddenly her voice softened as she crooned, "Is she not beautiful?"

Expression softening, Solas nodded. "The child is beautiful."

"And real," the Inquisitor insisted, pushing herself to her feet. "Right?"

Cullen looked to Dorian, and found in his expression a confusion equal to his own. Unsure of what to do, and cautious of taking any action which might result in further harm to his daughter, Cullen simply clung tight to Dorian's hand and prayed. Hopefully someone would heed him.

Perhaps even the Dread Wolf himself.

"Yes. She is real." The words were spoken softly as Solas continued to stare at the child in his arms. Finally he hovered his hand over the girl's face, and his eyes flashed white once more. "And strong."

Cullen's heart leapt when the small body suddenly jerked and a small gasp echoed in the glade. Taking an involuntary step forward, he reached towards his daughter. "Is she--"

"Stay back," the Inquisitor hissed. "She doesn't need you anymore. She has a real father now."

"She is my daughter," Cullen grated, tightening his hands into fists.

"As if you could ever be a father to my child," the Inquisitor scoffed. "You were a convenience. Nothing more." She turned back to Solas, a triumphant smile on her lips. "Let us leave them. I'm sure we have much to do."

Though Solas did spare her a glance, most of his attention remained on the child in his arms. When tiny fingers reached out to explore the fur of the mantle around Solas' shoulders, a faint smile touched his lips. "I would imagine a fur mantle to be a familiar sight for you, da'len," he murmured. When the girl giggled in response, something shifted in Solas' demeanor, and he looked up at Cullen with an intensity in his eyes which belied the gentleness in the exchange with the child.

Cullen's mouth went dry as Solas crossed the space between them. When the Inquisitor protested, Solas' eyes flashed once more, and the Inquisitor froze in place, leaving Solas unmolested as he came to stand in front of Cullen.

"You have my daughter," Cullen said in a cracked voice before Solas could say anything.

"And if she is my issue?" Solas asked, though his tone and inflection gave Cullen no clue as to whether or not Solas believed that to be true.

"That changes nothing. She is my daughter," Cullen repeated stubbornly, holding out his arms in silent pleading. "From her first breath, I have devoted my life to her, and I will not let even a god take that from me."

Solas tilted his head as he studied Cullen's expression, and his pale smile returned. "I believe you, my friend," he said softly, then glanced at Bull. "Knight takes Pawn," he announced, even as he settled the girl into Cullen's waiting embrace.

For a moment, as Cullen hugged his daughter tightly enough to make her babble in good-natured complaint, the world was right again. He was vaguely aware of Solas moving to stand next to the Inquisitor, but Cullen opted to walk a short distance away for a private moment with his little girl. The words exchanged between the Inqusitor and Solas went unheeded, a faint buzzing noise in the near distance as Cullen reassured himself that his daughter was safe and whole. When her eyelids started to droop, his panic rose before an adorable yawn revealed that she was simply tired. With a smile, he let her rest her head on his shoulder, and in only a few breaths she fell asleep.

A strangled scream proved to be the trigger necessary to divert Cullen's attention once more, and his head whipped around to see Dorian and Bull standing in wary readiness, their eyes locked on the tableau before them. The scream hadn't come from them, however. Instead, he saw that the Inquisitor had fallen to her knees in front of Solas, who had a cold expression on his face as he jerked her left arm into a straight position.

"And now I will take this from you, Inquisitor," Solas told her. "Only I could have controlled it fully, but it is obvious that you can no longer be trusted with its power." As Cullen watched with wide eyes, Solas bent over the Inquisitor as he wove the fingers of one hand in a complicated yet decidedly curt gesture. A flash of light appeared in his palm, then sank out of sight, whereas the Inquisitor... Cullen's eyes widened as her entire forearm flashed with a bright green light which gradually faded, leaving behind nothing--not even bone--as the glow dissipated.

As Solas turned away from the Inquisitor, she moaned and reached out to him with her remaining hand. "No... Solas, please. It can't end like this," she begged, an edge of desperation in her voice.

Solas paused, then half-turned and looked at Bull. "Your move, Hissrad. Will you choose what happens, or let it play out on the board in front of you, guided by the hand of another? Are you ready?"

Bull took a deep breath and pressed his lips together, and it seemed as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders in the moment before he emptied his lungs with one explosive breath. "Benn-Hassrath takes Arishok."

As Cullen puzzled over the exchange, his weary mind trying to recall which Qunari pieces matched the ones with which he was more familiar, Solas lifted his chin as if in challenge. "You are certain?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, everyone has to start somewhere, right?" And with that, Bull's gaze dropped to where the still dazed Inquisitor lay on the ground.

Acting on instinct, Cullen made sure his daughter was still asleep and could not possibly see her mother's brief struggle as Bull's hands closed around the Inquisitor and hauled her up against his broad body. His hand desperately covered tiny, innocent ears so that she would not hear what followed: not the muffled screams, and especially not the sharp crack which heralded the end of the Inquisitor's life.

For a long moment, silence fell, occasionally interrupted by the rustling of leaves in nearby trees. Then Bull sighed gustily and opened his arms wide.

Cullen stared as the Inquisitor's body slid from Bull's grasp and sprawled lifelessly on the ground. Even as his hand rubbed soothingly on his slumbering daughter's back, he tried to summon up a shred of regret or sadness that the mother of his child was gone, and found nothing.

Nothing except a great sense of relief that the nightmare was finally over.

Solas broke the silence first. "It was the right decision, Tal-Vashoth. Never doubt that. I do not relish her death, but her ambition would have ended with the world in more chaos than even her death will cause."

"Doesn't make it easy," Bull muttered, seemingly unable to take his eye off the dead-weight at his feet.

Dorian moved to Bull and slowly pulled him away from the body, his voice gentle as he murmured, "It was the right decision, Bull."

Bull shuddered, but nodded. "Eventually I'll believe it. Just... give me a moment, all right?"

As Bull walked away, Cullen moved to Dorian's side. "Give him time," Cullen murmured. "There's a big difference between killing because you're told to, and killing because you choose to."

"I know," Dorian said softly, his face so grim that Cullen wondered when, exactly, Dorian had learned that particular lesson. Before he could think to ask, however, Dorian had already turned to face Solas once more. "And what now? We simply let you walk away, knowing what you intend to do?"

Solas clasped his hands behind his back, a touch of sorrow coming to his face. "Here and now, we are not enemies. Here and now, we worked together towards a common goal. Here and now, I would prefer to part as friends and former comrades, to ponder..." His voice trailed off as his gaze turned to Cullen, or perhaps to the child still asleep upon his shoulder. "To ponder what I have learned this day. I hope that you will do the same."

The words hung between them for a long moment as Dorian, fingers playing with the flickering amulet around his neck, stared at Solas. Finally he drew himself to his full height and stepped forward with hand extended. "Then here and now, let us part as friends."

Solas hesitated for a moment, then slowly reached out and shook Dorian's hand. "Until next we meet, Dorian."

Dorian smiled, though the expression held the same poignant sadness evident on Solas' face. "Until next we meet, Solas."

Their hands fell away from each other, and Solas turned his gaze once more to Cullen and his daughter. With a grave nod, Solas said, "Take care of her, my friend."

"With my life," Cullen swore. "Never doubt that."

"I will not." Solas turned to Bull. "You play an excellent game, Tal-Vashoth. Was this the outcome you sought when first you intercepted and modified the messages between the Inquisitor and myself?"

Bull chuckled as he crossed his arms again. "Nah. I was just being a good little Hissrad at first. Trying to sow dissent between enemy ranks. But then you caught on. I suppose I should have anticipated that."

A faint smile came to Solas' lips, though it disappeared just as quickly as it had arisen. "Indeed. I am glad my trust in you was not misplaced, as it was with the Inquisitor. Perhaps we will have a re-match sometime in the future."

Bull's smile faded. "I'll be waiting, Fade Bringer."

Without another word, Solas resumed his journey to the mirror. Whether his gaze dropped to consider the still body of the Inquisitor as he passed it, none of them saw, but his steps never faltered.

Once he had passed through the mirror, Cullen closed his eyes and let loose a pent up breath, then gently kissed his daughter on the head. "We should leave."

"Indeed." Dorian moved to Cullen's side and took his hand. "I suddenly have a fierce urge to cuddle my son."

Cullen smiled as he lifted Dorian's hand to press a kiss to his knuckles. "Perhaps he could meet his new sister?" Cullen suggested, heart pounding as he awaited Dorian's reply to his unusual proposition.

The corners of Dorian's eyes crinkled as he tilted his head and smiled, the happiness clear on his face as he murmured, "I think that a most delightful idea."

And so, hand in hand, they left the strange place behind the mirrors, after which Bull led them to where Varric awaited their return. Without hesitation, Varric invited all of them to join him in Kirkwall for as long as they wished, which they accepted--and they were not the only Inquisition refugee hidden away in Kirkwall's caravan that day.

A harrowed Josephine and subdued Leliana joined them, sneaking in with a wary air that spoke volumes about their state. Bull's grim pronouncement that the Inquisitor would not return was met with an equanimity which did little to conceal their relief. Their apologies to Cullen and Dorian were heartfelt, and Cullen felt a lingering sadness ease as he realized that not only was he free, but so too were his friends.

As their carriage creaked along the road to the port where Viscount Varric's ship awaited them, Dorian and Cullen held hands and watched with a smile as Cullen's daughter played with Bull's horns and Dorian's son charmed Josephine and Leliana with his smiles and giggles. If not for the shadow in Dorian's eyes, Cullen would have called the moment perfect. Even with that shadow, it was more than enough simply to be with him, especially after years of deprivation.

In the castle in Kirkwall, the Viscount and their friends witnessed Cullen and Dorian's vows of love to each other, and they all settled into a life of blissful domesticity. Their children thrived in their peculiar family of loving parents, two adoring aunts, and two sarcastic uncles (though one had only one eye). Sometimes they would wreak a little too much havoc in the Castle, and would accept a little bit of lecture, but those times were few and far between.

And, if a particularly horny man joined Dorian and Cullen in their bed on occasion, that was no one's business but their own.

Yet rumors from beyond eventually penetrated the high walls of Kirkwall, as rumors do, and all too soon the shadow in Dorian's eyes returned. He started sequestering himself in his laboratory, first for hours, then for days on end. His fingers seemed to always linger on the glowing white amulet around his neck, and grey touched his hair a bit more quickly than Cullen had expected.

As the rumors drew closer and closer, of rebellion and chaos led by a man who claimed to be a god, Dorian withdrew more and more, until finally Cullen found a note on the bed telling him not to worry, that Dorian would restore everything to rights once more. He would return soon, and everything would be better.

Wouldn't it?

#cullrian #cullen x dorian #angst #dragon age inquisition #dai #cullen rutherford #dorian pavus #fic: phases #fix-it gone wrong #my writing #final chapter

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #185

UPDATE 185: Get What You Want

Last time Dirk’s hijacking has been hijacked by the version of Calliope that’s deep in the black hole. She also took over Jade, because if there’s one thing this meat epilogue has a lot of is hijacking. Should be the Hijack Epilogue. So let’s continue.

Terezi has been standing there for a while, and she mentions smelling, so it’s likely this is the version that’s from Earth C, instead of any version that’s able to see. What have you been doing all this time, Terezi? Mind talking about that? Looks like she doesn’t, she’s busy commenting John smells like shit. He really must, what with all the vomit on himself and also the blood, the broken glasses, and finally the big-ass golden tooth stuck on his chest. It’s no surprise everyone John’s seeing tells him right away he should go clean himself.

I like how Calliope’s descriptive narration takes the time to point out all the flesh and dull teeth the characters move, since it’s all alien to her. The way she describes it amuses me a lot. Another reason to prefer this over Dirk’s narration, really. Less pretentious rambling, more amusing asides.

Somehow John spends a few paragraphs thinking Terezi is cute, even going as far as saying the term ‘gap moe’ would apply to her. I’m not really knowledgeable about such terms or really know much about what defines them, but never, in a million years, I’d have thought of calling Terezi ‘gap moe’. Who would have before this was written? I blame you for this, Hussie.

I don’t fucking believe this.

I know, right? Thanks, Dirk.

Dead Calliope is not judgmental and couldn’t care less about John’s cuteness thoughts about Terezi or about creepy human males gathering seven billion pillows with anime characters. Be relieved, John!

There’s a reference to Monty Python, and John says their movies suck, which is blasphemy as far as I’m concerned. It’s correctly said Alternia sucks, and Terezi gets sick, because apparently half of the characters in this epilogue has to be sick or fainting. I’m almost thinking somebody will take over Terezi in the next minute, but thankfully it doesn’t seem like that’s happening.

So, the reason why Terezi is about to faint is because she’s starving to death, she hasn’t eaten in who knows how long. I suppose she has been wandering in the middle of nowhere for a loooong time, and if she took any food with her it must already be gone. She doesn’t have a concrete destination in mind, I suppose. She must be flying around just for the sake of not being on Earth C. If it wasn’t for John here maybe she’d be doomed to die alone in the emptiness of paradox space.

Searching for food in the wallet only nets them a car. Hey, that’s good! I remember John used his wind powers to make a car float and fly, this could be a fast way of going around, although...given John’s delicate state, it may not be good for him to use his powers extensively, poor guy. Terezi isn’t very impressed a car was stored in a wallet.

JOHN: what are you doing out here anyway?

TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU TH1NK 1M DO1NG OUT H3R3?

TEREZI: LOOK1NG FOR VR1SK4 OF COURS3

Oh. So she didn’t leave Earth C because she was going to feel overwhelmed by everything like Rose and Dirk, she went all the way out here to look for Vriska. Good thing John isn’t aware of what happened to Vriska, because how to explain to the person who has almost starved to death that the person she’s looking for was sucked in a black hole? On the other hand, if she had arrived here earlier, she’d have been involved in the Lord English fight and that means she likely would have died. She got a bit lucky there.

I wonder if now that Terezi has heard finding Vriska is impossible she’ll want to return to Earth C. I also wonder if when she gets into that Earth she’ll suddenly feel the same thing Rose and Dirk felt, whether it’s because of her power or because Dirk or Dead Calliope force it on her.

Time doesn’t pass linearly here in the emptiness, so I’m not sure how old Terezi is. She may be just as old as John is, she sounds a bit delighted he’s older. The examination by smell ends when she discovers shaving cream and tries to eat it. Oh boy, she really must be starving! Somehow she seems to be satisfied by it, so maybe it’s not bad for trolls. Who knows.

but no. it’s just my brother’s tooth, lodged deep in his chest, spreading its poison. it really should be extracted before it’s too late.

Hey, now that I think about it, did Caliborn embed a vial of poison or whatever in that tooth? For no reason? Did he have any reason to think someday he’d be biting somebody and leaving the golden tooth behind? Did he install poison in there just because he wanted to? I mean, it wouldn’t really be out of character for him to randomly decide he wants a poisonous gold tooth, but it’s not like he’d have the chance to use it against many people!

Now that Terezi is gorging herself with shaving cream and seems to be a little better, John wants to return home, most likely by zapping, so he can get medical attention for the fatal injury he has right now. Terezi doesn’t want to, I guess because being with an agonizing John is a pleasant enough experience. Kind of inconsiderate, Terezi, let the poor guy get medical attention. John, being the sweet guy he is, accepts and decides to drive around with wind, waiting for Terezi to decide they can go home.

Iiii don’t remember John having such romantic feelings in Homestuck. He did have something that could resemble black romance, at least for a little while, but this is red. He must have really missed her.

Back in Earth C, Jane returns to the office after another political event.

the last traces of trickster mode are bleeding off her aura. the great gift of this sacred boon has run its course for the evening, and though she is not as grateful as she should be, she nevertheless acknowledges the extraordinary benefit it has afforded her with a slight nod to the mirror.

She has been using the lollipop Calliope gave her to get rid of any inhibitions and say whatever she wants in political conferences, without a care if she’s stepping on any toes or offending anyone. Wow. I was actually speechless for a moment. Using the trickster thing again seems like a stupid idea. I can only imagine what the sugary rambling was like. Hopefully it included 100% less paragraphs about having babies with literally all her friends.

however, while a great portion of the electorate adores jane’s elevated sense of charisma and presence when she is in trickster mode, as they should, there are just as many detractors who claim that the whole thing is “extremely problematic.” i doubt this is true but must also acknowledge it exceeds the scope of my expertise to comment on the subject.

JANE: Oh my goodness.

JANE: It’s NOT problematic!

Oh, it’s definitely a problem for your sanity, Jane. This whole political thing is starting to seem a chain of bad decisions, one after another.

Jane’s inner monologue almost looks like it was funneled into her by Dead Calliope, given how she’s praising the lollipop so much. Dead Calliope better not start imitating Dirk on this, thanks. A moment later, Jane tosses the lollipop on the floor, then turns around much to her surprise and places it on a more reverent place over the mantle. Dead Calliope really is forcing things when it’s convenient, too. Okay then.

JANE: You know, the last time we spoke about this issue I could have sworn you asked me to let you handle Jake.

DIRK: Hmm.

DIRK: I guess I did say that.

JANE: ...

JANE: Dirk, are you doing quite okay?

JANE: It’s very unlike you to forget details like that.

DIRK: I’m fine, Jane.

the prince is not fine. he is not the type who takes well to having his plans upended, or his control of a shared vehicle fully suppressed. my brother wasn’t much that type either.

DIRK: Oh, fuck off. I’m nothing like that guy.

It has been days, apparently. Days since Dirk and Rose met, days since he told Jane that. Dirk somehow forgot to go get Jake’s endorsement for days. He definitely is not okay. I thought you were good at multitasking, Dirk! Maybe Dead Calliope’s hijacking of his plans really hit him hard, but dang, I thought he wasn’t the kind of person that’d let miserable failures get to him. I mean, other than the miserable failure that led to him fading away into glitches in that doomed timeline, but that’s a different matter.

but certain objects and actions strike me as more notable than others. that very long, red rifle on the table, for instance. a weapon that does not belong to him and has not been used in a long time. he has been returning to the rifle between his other menial activities of probable misdirection. he dismantles it, reassembles it, slides off the receiver cover to examine the firing mechanism.

Sounds familiar. That was seen before, I think? I think it was made by combining one of Jade’s rifles with some of the Condesce’s technology, back from Act 6. It makes objects teleport, I believe. What could Dirk be planning with this, I wonder...

JANE: Actually, I have been thinking...

JANE: Perhaps this attempt to get Jake on our side is the wrong angle from which to approach this vexing problem.

JANE: Wouldn’t it be much easier to discredit or blackmail him?

JANE: He is much beloved in the Troll Kingdom for his carefully cultivated posterior, true.

JANE: But we both know that his bottom is not the only intimate attribute for which he is famed amongst Trollish citizens.

JANE: It would take almost nothing to expose his many dalliances through the human media.

DIRK: Hoo boy.

JANE: I know! Not to be judgmental, but his zipper is as loose as his pants are tight.

DIRK: That’s not what I meant by hoo boy.

JANE: You don’t think it would work?

DIRK: Oh, it could work.

That’d be such a way to break Jake’s heart and alienate him forever. If this is ever done, you can bet Jake won’t show his face to anyone ever again, whether it’s out of shame or feelings of betrayal. I suppose if he for some reason decides to support Karkaroni this is what Jane will do, but seriously, I hope things don’t come to that.

What makes Jake so marketable – supposedly – is that he’s viewed as innocent while also sexual, at least in the human circles. Discrediting that would break his influence on the human public. Somehow that makes sense, really, but it also has the danger of making it sound like interspecies sex is scandalous, which is...not really something that won’t inflame tensions between species. Wasn’t the point of this whole election that Karkaroni getting elected would make things tense? It’s starting to sound like Jane’s campaign would make things just as bad.

JANE: Dirk... do you want me to deal with Jake or not? You’ve offered nothing helpful yet, but you’ve shot down all my ideas.

DIRK: That’s because lately, all your ideas have been fucking terrible, Jane.

DIRK: Seriously. You’ve got to quit the tricksterpop. It’s rotting your brain.

He’s not wrong! He really isn’t. Jane, listen to him, he tends to be right most of the time – unfortunately for a lot of people he is. Dead Calliope takes offense to the insult to the cherub artifact, but seriously, Dirk is right.

After a baking metaphor and Dead Calliope making sure nothing will happen to the lollipop, the conversation ends, and Dirk focuses on the rifle. He’s satisfied with it. What’s he up to?

DIRK: Your ass is mine, Jake English.

he speaks under his breath inaudibly, perhaps frustrated, unaccustomed to scheming while others look over his shoulder. it’s possible he is not as bold, or as confident in his own designs as i believed.

DIRK: I fucking said, your ass is mine, Jake English.

Oh no! So that’s Dirk’s genius political machination! He’ll use the teleportation rifle to surgically remove Jake’s ass from a distance by transporting it to his workshop, getting rid of any influence Jake has on anyone! Okay, most likely that’s not his plan, but at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if it is. Let’s hope he doesn’t mean that literally.

JAKE: Ah chaps dont you love to take a rigorous jaunt about the wilds first thing in the morning, middle thing in the day, and last thing in the evening?

Said Jake, unaware of the shot that’d extricate his posterior in the blink of an eye—okay, I have to stop with that.

Apparently Jake is torturing Karkaroni by making him hike around in a freaking suit. That can’t be good! Is this something he’s doing to get Jake’s favor? Because if so then it’s not worth it! You couldn’t get me to hike in a suit unless you paid me a veeeeery large amount of money.

DAVE: hey jake were cool on the whole cardio program or whatever

DAVE: karkats not really what id call a kinesthetic learner

KARKAT: HEY!

KARKAT: I CAN HOLD MY OWN IN A THRESHING MATCH BETTER THAN 99% OF THE SQUISHY, PLACID HUMAN POPULATION ON THIS PLANET.

KARKAT: I WAS LITERALLY TRAINING TO BE A COMBAT SPECIALIST ON ALTERNIA.

KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD SOMETIMES TRY TO REMEMBER AND *FUCKING RESPECT* THAT FACT ABOUT ME???

DAVE: hm

DAVE: gonna make another mental note about which material to avoid when writing your campaign speeches

DAVE: like

DAVE: dude is nuts with a sickle

DAVE: can carve a bloody arc through a surrounding circle of gathered squishy humans

DAVE: watch their guts spill on the floor while he roars at the sky in honor of his genocidal ancestors

DAVE: were kinda trying to downplay the idea that trolls are naturally good at violence and shit here?

Hm. Recently I found out the sharp edge of sickles and scythes are on the inside, not the outside, so I call shenanigans on the deadliness of a sickle when it’s about groups of people. Hah! But yeah, they better avoid anything that involves killing humans and how good the trolls would be at that with some training. Don’t say it aloud, you’ll give Jane ideas!

Apparently they hadn’t popped the question to Jake yet, they just did. Jake doesn’t seem very eager to give the endorsement, so Dave tries his hand at appealing to him by pointing out Jane owns the internet, and also that Jane has been saying some nasty things of Jake in the media. Wait, did Jane go ahead with her idea of ruining Jake’s good name? Oh god, she continued messing with the lollipop and lost any inhibitions about not doing that, didn’t she. That’s what happened, I bet. Goshdarnit, Jane.

By now I’m pretty sure ‘Jane Crocker has neoliberal austerity measures’ is the troll campaign’s slogan.

KARKAT: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

KARKAT: I’M GOING TO SAY THIS FOR THE LAST TIME.

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS!

KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE!

...ah. He’s using that surreal nonsensical creation of his to argue his points in the campaign ads.

...

Okay, Jane has the election in the bag. So much for being a savvy advisor, Dave!

At least Jake appreciates they’re not trying to disguise their appeals with a lot of pleasantries and sweet words, or trying to seduce him with blue dresses and scotch. After Karkaroni insults Jake half a dozen or so times to his face, Jake tries to settle things down by pretty much saying he’s not convinced yet and that he still hasn’t been given a reason to side with them against Jane, and Jane hasn’t given him such a reason either.

JAKE: Im not entirely ignorant of the rules of this jamboree. I understand that whoever i endorse will have a good chance of winning on nothing but my good word.

Jake definitely isn’t the smartest cookie in this baker’s dozen, but he’s not so dense he wouldn’t realize how desperate both sides are to try to recruit him, and he can pinpoint the reason. Good, he’s aware how important he is in this entire debacle, thank goodness.

JAKE: So why should i trust ANYONE trying to win my favor right now? Do you have ANY case to make which does not involve glowing accounts of my muscular bottom???

Quick, mention to him how you want a wink and double pistols instead of a picture of his ass, that’ll win him over.

Dirk comments spitefully Jake has no proactive thoughts – thanks for your commentary, Dirk, go away – and it’s up to Karkaroni to deliver the effective arguments to get Jake’s support. Oh, this is going to be good! Go ahead, show your oratory chops!

Karkaroni’s argument is that he’s not trying to pull the wool over Jake’s eyes, he’s not trying to hide his intentions or disguise things under a veneer of niceness. Jane is, and she’s more concerned with how things look than how they actually are. He has a point there, I think. Also, she’s holding an entire species’ reproductive rights hostage and that still resembles the Condesce’s actions too much for me to like it. To Karkaroni’s credit it’s a pretty good speech, I actually like it. Will it be enough to convince Jake?

he thinks it could break jane’s heart were he to oppose her. and yet, hasn’t she fired the first shot by broadcasting such scandalous things about him in the media? and it was so soon after they’d nearly had an intimate reconciliation. the more he thinks on it, the more jake struggles to believe in the sincerity behind jane’s friendship with him.

Oh god, she definitely is throwing mud at him. Jane, what the hell.

Until now he had been afraid of disappointing Jane and Dirk, but with Jane throwing stones at him and Dirk being insidious and thankfully far away from him right now, Jake decides he’ll do it: he’ll support Karkaroni. They did it! I’m actually surprised! Hopefully he’ll be able to do something before Dirk retaliates, but really, nice job, guys!

The matter of how much clout he’ll have left with humans is something that remains to be seen, as well as the intensity of Jane’s maybe-scandalous broadcasting about Jake, but this is a minor victory.

Hey, John, how’s it going?

Terezi is munching her way through another tin of human fatherly tobacco as john crawls into the back seat. this has been their ritual for several days. precisely how many, they couldn’t say.

...you know, for an injury that’s poisoned and almost fatal, John sure is lasting a long time. Are we sure it was as bad as it was said to be?

Since they have nothing better to do, John asks questions about how Terezi is the way she is, with her licking and smelling and eating tobacco as if it was chocolate. He says all of his conversations with her was a snark-off or a jokey argument – or that time she literally led to his death, lest we forget that. Somehow, John implied she’s difficult to be around, which isn’t really wrong, but...something I like of Terezi is that although she’s a bit exhausting, she has this way of talking that makes her fun to be around, most of the time. Ever since her pesterlogs that was shown pretty well.

All John wants is a real conversation, because he has been really depressed and antisocial these last few years, and although he doesn’t admit it to her, it was already stated pretty clearly he missed Terezi a lot. She’s here now! So he wants to talk to her. Although she’s really flippant about it, she appreciates it and calls John a dork in an affectionate manner. She may not show it often, but she really appreciates this kind of thing.

All this makes John reminisce about that doomed Game Over timeline, where Terezi bled seventy gallons of blood all over the place and collapsed in an outline made with her own chalk. She had been able to give him good instructions even though she was dying horribly, and John really admires that, he’s even a bit intimidated by it. Terezi admits she remembers that timeline too and is the reason she’s out here in the middle of nowhere.

TEREZI: TH4T DOOM3D T3R3Z1 M1SS3D VR1SK4 *SO* MUCH, 1T W4S L1K3 4 HOL3 1N H3R H34RT

TEREZI: 1 R3M3MB3R TH3 W4Y SH3 F3LT, B3C4US3 ON3 T1M3, 4LL H3R M3MOR13S C4M3 FLOOD1NG B4CK

TEREZI: 1 3V3N GOT TO S33 WH4T H4PP3N3D WH3N SH3 D13D

TEREZI: SH3 4ND 4NOTH3R VR1SK4 GHOST F1N4LLY FOUND 34CH OTH3R

TEREZI: 1T M4D3 M3 SO H4PPY G3TT1NG TO F33L TH4T, 4S 1F 1T W4S ON3 OF MY OWN M3MOR13S

Hmmmm...I suppose remembering all that made her want to look for Vriska, at least to feel again that happiness, because she feels Vriska and she have a connection of some sort. They do, that’s got to be admitted. Now she’s been unable to find Vriska and likely never won’t.

JOHN: you SAVED everyone!

JOHN: you’re the only reason we were able to defeat lord english and win the game at all!

JOHN: if it weren’t for you, me and roxy would have just floated around in paradox space like a couple of losers with no idea what to do!

JOHN: even worse, i might have tried to fix things MYSELF!

TEREZI: OH D34R GOD

JOHN: yeah!!!

Now that I think about it...he’s right. It was Terezi’s guidance what made the best canon timeline happen, without her it’d all have ended in the Game Over timeline. She did save everyone. Maybe things with the fight with Lord English would have gone better if she had been around to give them advice of some sort. If only.

It’s possible the reason why John has been staying in this car circling the black hole isn’t only because he doesn’t want to leave Terezi behind, but also because he doesn’t feel like Earth C is for him. Which is a sentiment I’m not sure I understand, I have to admit. They worked so hard to achieve it and he’s not happy with his life there. It’s strange.

TEREZI: WH4T 3ND3D UP H4PP3N1NG W1TH ROXY?

JOHN: i...

JOHN: dunno.

JOHN: we just sorta stopped hanging out regularly.

JOHN: then she got close with callie and i felt too awkward to try to figure out where our relationship stood.

TEREZI: R34LLY?

TEREZI: HMM

JOHN: what?

TEREZI: 1 JUST 4SSUM3D TH4T BY NOW YOU TWO M1GHT H4V3 GOTT3N TOG3TH3R

JOHN: really?

JOHN: why?

TEREZI: NO R34SON. JUST 4 HUNCH

TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK 1T WOULD H4V3 WORK3D OUT THOUGH

Right, it was a couple that had potential to happen. I wonder if it’d have worked out if they really had stayed together. Roxy seemed to really like him, it’s possible John going antisocial and depressed pushed her away. That’s tragic. Still, makes me wonder how that’d have been like if it had actually happened.

Now that he admitted he missed Terezi a lot, he asks her to come home with him. Better that than staying near the black hole doing nothing, no?

TEREZI: 1

TEREZI: 1M NOT R34DY Y3T

JOHN: when WILL you be ready?

TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW

TEREZI: M4YB3 N3V3R

TEREZI: 1F YOU H4DNT FOUND M3, 1 PROB4BLY WOULD H4V3 D13D R1GHT?

TEREZI: 1S TH4T WH4T 1 W4NT?

JOHN: um, obviously not, dummy!

JOHN: if you wanted to die so bad you wouldn’t have...

JOHN: ...eaten all that disgusting shaving cream and tobacco!

I’m not very certain this is any good. Terezi hardly can be any healthier after eating all the shaving cream and tobacco. It could be she knows that and is just...eating stuff she knows she shouldn’t. But hey, Terezi decides John’s right, she’s not really looking for death. To me it seems she was looking for a meaningful relationship – doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic -- and thought Vriska would be the one to give it to her. Now John’s here, and he’s sincere about missing Terezi, so he’s a good option.

She seems afraid to let go of John, not even for him to get real food. She really is desperate for something meaningful.

now that he dwells on it, he can feel the ache again, both from the tooth piercing his flesh and, more insidiously, from the poison it has been delivering into his bloodstream.

For days. Least effective lethal poison ever.

Terezi isn’t really interested in leaving that tooth embedded into John and is ready to do some surgical operation with her katana. Hah! Oh boy, on paper this sounds like a pretty lousy idea, but it’s as good as it can get when they’re floating in a car around a black hole. May as well give it a try and hope he doesn’t die. Better plan than John’s ‘let’s let the tooth come out on its own’, plan.

She can’t even see/smell/hear anything because his shirt is over the wound! It’s almost laughable. That aside, how is the nasty wound from a poisonous tooth in John’s chest less gross than the description of he eating meat? I’m still scarred about that.

Terezi’s ready to do surgery with her sword, while John gazes poetically at her face and describes her as feminine. He’s really into her, seriously! The go-ahead is given, Terezi gets ready to dig in.

TEREZI: HMMM

TEREZI: 1TS LODG3D 1N TH3R3 PR3TTY GOOD

TEREZI: BR4C3 YOURS3LF 3GB3RT, TH1S 1S GO1NG TO ST1NG

John’s taking this admirably well already, for someone getting a sword between his ribs to take out a tooth I’m pretty sure is the size of a fist. I wouldn’t blame him if he passes out from the pain.

Once the tooth is out, now they have to stop the bleeding. She takes off John’ clothes, John is dizzy, Terezi is doing all the work here. She’s doing well, at least until John pulls her closer and gives her a kiss, because getting toxic teeth extracted from your chest makes you horny, I guess. Golly, John, you could have waited until she was done, at least!

Not that she’s not into it. She’s going into this with enthusiasm, she even lets John take off her shirt. You know, pretty amazing that in one plot there’s a whole lot of political nonsense, and on the other plot John and Terezi are getting romantic in a car. The disparity is so jarring, guys, I almost can’t believe it’s the same webcomic.

TEREZI: OH MY GOD YOUR BLOOD SM3LLS D3L1C1OUS

JOHN: woah.

JOHN: um, wow.

JOHN: ok...

JOHN: i think you’re really pretty, in... the light of the dead universe?

Smooth.

This page ends with them getting even more intense with their snogging. This went in some rather intense directions! When I started reading these epilogues none of this was even close to what I expected. Oh well.

I’ll continue next time.

Next time: next update

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

[themalicealyce]

Sarcasm and Puns: Chapter Nine

Summary:  You're an introverted person, have been all of your life but it wasn't as if you were shy, you were just content to have your only friends be your brother and your roommate. Though when your brother's young daughter makes friends with the human ambassador of monsters you open up to the idea of having a larger group of friends.

Rating: M

You very quickly began to regret your decision to take a taxi. The ride seemed to take an eternity, and you felt trapped, shackled into the backseat of the yellow metal prison. You found yourself gritting your teeth in annoyance, nearing the breaking point of shit you could put up with from the driver. It wasn’t just you, Vincent's entire focus was funneled into his phone. He was staring down at it so hard you worried it would burst into flame due to sheer determination to ignore the man.

“All I’m saying is, I think everyone would be more comfortable if they just kept to themselves." The taxi driver added to the lengthy rant he was on about monsters. Chuckling as if it was pleasant conversation he spoke again mimicking secret sharing. “Personally, I think they should just go back to that hole honestly, Right?” Even though the both of you ignored him, he didn’t stop. It was disgusting, you didn't even know there were that many racist slurs people had come up with for the peaceful race. “I mean seriously!” He chuckled jovially.

You checked the map on your phone again, praying to whichever deity in the sky that wanted to listen that you got there soon. You could feel your anger rising, calming yourself with the thought that it would really suck to go to jail on an empty stomach. Thankfully, whatever cruel force that was currently screwing with you must have grown bored because you saw you were approaching the restaurant. “Just drop us off on the corner here.” You directed trying to keep your voice even. Vincent let out a long breath beside you, some tension easing off his features. You however were still stressed and upset that you had to stay in the man's presence for even another second.

The driver had the nerve to scoff as you pulled in front of the quite honestly beautiful, rustic looking diner. "See, places like this, these monster-run businesses are bringing down this whole neighborhood." he sighed shaking his head sadly to himself only causing you to grimace further. "Careful as you pass by ma'am who knows what those things get up to."

Vincent reached out to you as if in a silent attempt to quell your rising rage. It didn't help, and he couldn't blame you, he did however scurry quickly out of the car without a word.

“Actually, this is my stop.” You forced yourself to smile as you tensely handed him his fair. “It looks like a great place for lunch.” You said in an eerily calm rage flinging the door open so harshly it bounced on its hinges back to you.

"You’re not really going in there are you?" his face morphed from utter confusion to contempt as he snarled, "That ain’t no place for a nice young lady." You stepped outside the car but leaned back in to get the final word "Maybe I’m not a," You rolled your eyes and said the next bit with air quotes. “’nice young lady’ but at least I am a good person.” With that you slammed the car door, something petty you couldn’t help but indulge in.

The taxi peeled away from the curb, and you allowed yourself another petty indulgence, flipping it off as it sped away. As soon as the yellow blob disappeared out of sight you sagged and exhaled wearily. You noticed a few people and monsters watching your outburst curiously, causing you to shove your hands into you jacket pockets and look down at your feet.

Vincent returned to his place at your side but instead of looking at him you just lifted your head to watch the calming movement and flickering lights from inside the building’s large window that spanned nearly the entire length of the wall.

Vincent shifted awkwardly from foot to foot before releasing an exaggerated breath of air "So Grillby's huh? How hot do you think that grill be?" he laughed nervously at his own joke.

You gave him a half-hearted glare that quickly became a smile. "I'm pretty sure that's the owner's name." you let out a small laugh as you bumped his shoulder with yours.

Sensing the tension in the air quickly evaporating he smiled and continued, "I repeat, how hot you think that Grill Be?" You rolled your eyes but continued to smile. "Come on dork, I'm starving." You said, walking into the building with him following at your heels as he giggled to himself.

Upon entering the diner, the bell hanging over the door rang causing all sorts of different monsters to look up at you and Vincent for a long moment. Most regarded you with curious expressions, but some looked wary to see you. They soon all returned to their activities, a wide variety of monsters all so different from each other ate, drank, played cards, and chatted happily together. A small group of humans sat on their own in one small booth tucked away in a corner curiously trying to study the monsters without looking at them for too long. You noticed the smell, standing in place for a moment to take it in. The aroma clung thickly in the air was like a mixture of a wood burning stove, burgers, and something sweet you couldn't put a name to. It was mouth-watering, and your stomach growled violently at the scent. Belatedly you noticed the warmth of the place. Glancing around you figured that it was probably due to the large number of people inside with help from the candles on the tables. Hunger mostly in control now, you pulled Vincent past the more crowded central area crammed with tables and booths and moved instead towards the bar along the back wall that looked like it was straight out of a noire film.

As you took your seat at the bar and glanced around in search of a waiter or bartender you soon laid eyes on what was probably the biggest reason why this place was actually this toasty amidst the bitter autumn weather. You leaned over to tell Vincent, but his eyes were already locked on the heat source.

"Oh. That hot." Vincent whispered breathlessly.

Fire. It took you a moment to quell your panic. The place was not on fire. The fire was man shaped. A thin, stately man who appeared to be entirely made of fire. The flames around him crackled and danced in an entrancing way that reminded you of watching the fireplace during winters as a kid. He kind of seemed overdressed for the venue. His neatly pressed black pants and matching vest looked out of place in a bar this casual and cozy, but it somehow fit the timeless vibe. He turned toward you a pair of black, neat rectangular framed glasses sat on his face making it clear where he should have eyes. When the man made of fire saw you he nodded in acknowledgment. It completely fascinated you the way he didn't have any clear facial features, yet you still got the gist of his expression.

“Oh, of course Vinny. You fucking pyro.” You rolled your eyes, but you agreed the man was very intriguing, and also kind of confusing. You once again had to silently remind yourself that magic was real even though it still felt very odd to think about, since you never used to believe in that sort of thing. Though, if a bartender literally made of fire didn't start to fully drive the fact permanently into your brain nothing else probably ever would.

As if drawn to you and Vincent’s intrigue the fire monster gracefully approached you dropping off a very short menu before flitting away again, giving you what you interpreted as an apologetic look as another monster motioned him over. Vincent pulled his leather jacket to himself and you knew he wasn’t cold, it was way too warm in here. It was a shy gesture, it was even easier to tell when he begun to curl up into himself. His social anxiety had to be hitting some pretty high levels.

You nudged him encouragingly, "C'mon dude, lighten up." you stage whispered to him in a playful manner.

You thought it was the overly crowded restaurant he was having an issue with, he didn’t really like talking to new people or large groups. Though you were hopeful he would have fun because he genuinely seemed more comfortable around monsters than other humans. He gave you that pleading stare, the one with those big round puppy eyes that only he could pull off that innocently. Once he was sure he had your attention his eyes quickly darted back to the fire elemental pointedly.

"Ooooh." The realization dawned on you suddenly and you saw the blush creep up his face. He couldn't speak up because he thought the bartender was cute. He gave you a weak nod in confirmation and you smiled comfortingly at him. "You can do it man. Go for it." you urged him on eagerly with a light punch to his arm. He shot you a glare, but there was no malice behind it. You returned it with a stern expression. Vincent groaned and swiveled back to face the bar in his stool. The man made of fire returned appearing very patient, though you seriously weren't sure if he was making these expressions or if you were imagining them since his few facial features seemed as though they would be impossible to read. You still felt as though you got the gist of what they meant.

Both you and the monster behind the bar patiently watched as Vincent took a moment gathering all of his courage, straightening himself out and sitting as tall as he could in his seat. Vincent offered the bartender a shy smile after clearing his throat.

"S-so uh... Has anyone ever told you that you look really hot?" Vincent finished, smiling a little brighter clearly a bit proud of his pickup line. You groaned barely resisting the urge to hide your face in your hands, embarrassed that he actually used that dumb pun to the barman’s face. You braced yourself for the awkward silence, but it never came. Instead you heard a deep chuckle rumble behind you.

"yeah, i'm pretty sure i have."

You jumped, startled at the sudden interruption, but Vincent nearly fell off his seat. His face was entirely red, and his eyes went wide in shock. You turned to face the speaker to find a short skeleton watching the two of you with an amused smile. He was about the same height as Vincent, he stood with his stands shoved into his baggie blue hoodie, standing in a pose that exuded casual ease. You quickly turned back to Vincent to see your friend’s face had grown so dark with his blushing it was kind of worrying. He let his head drop down on the counter with a dull thud and a defeated whimper.

The bartender’s breathy laughter drew the attention of everyone within earshot. It sounded like crackling logs in a bonfire, and made the air feel warmer. Vincent’s head immediately darted up, the embarrassment in his eyes replaced with awe. If he was a cartoon character, there would have been gleaming stars in his eyes. “Now, now Sans. Play nice with the new customers, unlike you they don’t have tabs yet.” It was the first words you heard the monster actually speak and you watched in amazement as his face cracked open becoming a mouth. The only word you could think of to describe his voice was… smokey.

“aww, c’mon grillbz. you know i ain’t gotta bone to pick with nobody.” The skeleton who must have been Sans shrugged, posture slacking even further as he did, slipping away to pull himself up onto a nearby barstool.

Wait, Sans? Why was that name familiar to you? Had you heard it recently? You were pretty sure that you had.

Then it clicked. You instantly felt stupid, a skeleton named Sans.

“Wait! Sans?” You asked aloud while frowning at the furnace like heat in Grillby’s, shucking off your jacket mid thought. “Are you Papyrus’s brother?” Turning away from your friend instead facing the ever smiling skeleton, you questioned the new monster at the bar.

He chuckled, it was a lazy but really pleasing sound. He turned to face you “who’s askin’?” His retort cut short as he made a strange choking noise.

Your eyebrows scrunched up in immediate confusion. You followed his line of sight from the bright white pinpricks of light that seemed to serve as pupils. They lead down to your now visible tee shirt. You weren’t even sure what you were wearing, having grabbed it in a rush this morning. When you caught a look at the design you couldn’t help but laugh, mostly out of nervous habit, as your cheeks glowed with a heated blush.

Standing out starkly from the black fabric was the design two white, skeletal arms wrapped around the shirt with their hands placed over your breast.

The atmosphere of bar was warm and inviting with the soft lights flickering dimly like candles, casting slowly swaying shadows across the dark wood paneling of the walls. All around, the ambient chatter and laughter reverberated happily through the large cluttered building and filled the space with life. Despite all the joyous noise and the general uplifting mood, you and the skeleton sitting beside you had fallen into a slightly uneasy staring contest after your nervous laughter petered out. Drawing your bottom lip between your teeth you couldn’t be sure how much time had passed since took your jacket off making the interaction tense. You definitely didn’t know what to say in this situation, you’ve honestly never encountered one like it before, so you just let the awkwardness hang thickly between you. Unable to stop staring at him you thought you saw his cheekbones turn a faint blue color, but it was gone so quickly you weren’t sure if it was some kind of trick of the light. He was first the break the silence causing you to let out the breath you didn’t realize you were even holding.

“gotta hand it to ya kid, that’s a pretty cool shirt.” His smile stretcher into an amused smirk as he gestured nonchalantly at the design.

“I didn’t even realize I was wearing it I am so so- Was that pun?” you asked in disbelief, your minding reeling at his reaction. Glaring when he began to laugh.

“nottin’ gets past you huh?” Sans shrugged settling into a far more relax position.

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. So, you closed it again with a slight frown, staring at him while you tried to process. Was he making fun of you? Did he think you were dumb? Luckily you were saved the mental energy of overthinking it when an urgent nudge from Vincent.

“Dude, I’m starving.” He whined pushing the menu into your open hands, willing you to order quickly before Grillby moved on to another costumer again. You briefly scanned the, admittedly limited, menu. You wondered to silently over some of the stranger items that caught your eye, but you knew as soon as you saw a description that made your stomach growl embarrassingly what you wanted.

“The burger for me.” You smiled up at Grillby handing your menu back over to the bartender before glancing back to your friend who was nodding in passionate agreement. You waited a beat to see if he’d speak up, but he seemed unable to do anything more than watch Grillby in lovesick awe. So, you spoke up for him, “Make that two.” Taking Vincent menu, you offered it to Grillby as well.

Grillby nodded taking both menus from you and wandered off into a backroom that must of housed the kitchen.

Vincent stared after him as he left, and you rolled your eyes. “Can I take you anywhere without you crushing on some guy?”

He sputtered turning back to lightly slap your arm, his face turning red again. “I do not crush on guys everywhere! And I mean…” he paused his furious blush darkening. “HE”S MADE OUT OF FIRE WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO?”

You laughed at his flustered speech. “Of course, you fucking pyro.”

He crossed his arms in a huff “First of all, I am not a pyro… fire is just aestheti-“ he sighed cutting off his usual response. “secondly it’s not just, just that…” he muttered defensively pulling his jacket closer to himself once more as if trying to sink in it to get away from the conversation.

Taking pity, you relented from picking on your friend and instead you could resist the urge to curiously glance around the bar. You deeply regret not having your camera on you. When you caught sight of the skeleton sitting next you it caused you to groan, instantly mentally berating yourself for your pervious fuck up. You tried to come up with something to say to end the silence without sounding like an idiot or a jerk. He was your new friend’s brother, so you didn’t really want him to hate you. It was admittedly more for Papyrus’s sake than your own, you didn’t really mind people not liking you, though for some reason this felt different.

Your eyes grew wide at the thought of Papyrus, you suddenly remembered this is the shirt you put on when he was over earlier. You were instantly glad for jackets, sending a silent thank you for their invention.

“Papyrus didn’t see this shirt.” You blurted out in a matter of fact manner, not really to anyone in particular more just comforting yourself in that fact. Instantly you knew that sounded ridiculous, your stare boring into the bottles lining the back of the bar as if they had suddenly become fascinating. You could only hope it didn’t come out of your mouth as loud as you thought it did. Though, you were pretty sure he heard you because he choked on his drink, one of his skeletal hands shoot up to cover his mouth but doing little to help the amber liquid from spraying out and dribbling down his chin.

“m’sorry, what?” he asked voice rough as he tried to clear his throat, coughing slightly. His attention was now locked on you again.

“I uh, just realized I was wearing this shirt when I saw him earlier… and that just… feels weird.” You mumbled picking at the hem of your shirt, eyes darting from the bar to him over and over finding it hard to keep contact with those bright lights in his socket trained on you.

“so, you’re the new human tori was talkin’ about heh.” His head tilted a bit to the side and his eyes never wavering. He watched you as if he was searching your face for something.

“Um? Maybe, I guess?” you tried to smile but it was weak. “I’m kinda making a bad first impression, right?” you grimaced, remembering how dumb you came off to Toriel as well.

“God, which one of us is worse at meeting new people?” Vincent chuckled having been eagerly eavesdropping.

You left out a startled laugh a Vincent’s interjection, but before you could reply Grillby had come back from the kitchen with a plate in either hand. The smell alone made your mouth water as he placed them in front of you, and Vincent couldn’t help but stare at his burger lovingly at the big, juicy burger. Vincent even ley out a slightly pornographic moan next to you as took a large bite and nodded enthusiastically.

Eager to dig into your own you scanned the bar in search of ketchup. You pouted upon not finding any and you considered flagging Grillby back down to ask for some when something firm was tapped against you’re the back of your hand. Looking up you saw Sans, he had apparently figured out your dilemma and was leaning over to you, arm outstretched. He was holding out a glass bottle to you tapping it against your hand to get your attention.

You looked at him, not sure of what to say. He just shrugged at your silence and set the ketchup next to you.

“no need to bottle things up, you should speak up. plus, it looks like you need’a ketchup with your friend.” He nodded at Vincent who had already eaten half his burger with zeal.

You repressed an eye roll at his puns and nodded in thanks. Taking the bottle from the counter you moved the top bun aside and tilted the ketchup over the burger only to have the top fall off and a river of red spill from it messily coating your plate.

You could hear San’s laughing off to your side. You frowned at your plate, had he sabotaged you?

“sorry‘ll get a you a new…” He started, confirming your suspicions, but you shrugged to yourself and picked the top off your food and replacing the bun.

You took a big bite, you usually drowned your food in ketchup anyway.

Vincent grimaced looking up from his own plate. “Ugh, I don’t know how you can eat that. It’s disgusting.”

“Don’t you judge my burger.” You answered back. “You can’t throw stones, you put salt in your chocolate milk.”

Vincent slammed his burger down on the plate looking very offended at you comment. “A little bit of salt enhances the flavor of chocolate!”

You laughed and shook your head at his outburst. “It’s so wrong though.”

Sans chuckled, again catching your attention, and once he noticed he had it again his smile grew wider. “my condiments to the fellow ketchup lover.” He winked and brought the now half empty bottle to teeth and tipped his head back to down the rest of it’s contents like it was nothing.

You smirked at him amused, the food warm in you stomach making you more comfortable. His face fell for only a second to express disappointment at your lack of response. Probably hoping his drink of choice would make you squeamish.

“Well, I guess we have something in common, that’s a good start. I’m sure we’ll find out more thing we agree on.” You said.

He shrugged, the blue hood of his jacket bunching up around his skull. “if you’re plannin’ on stayin’round that long maybe.” His smiled dopily.

You were going to ask what he meant by that, but your phone rang out its whirring Dr. Who tone alerting you that your brother was calling. Your eyebrows furrowed together, not expecting his call. “Sorry I have to take this.” You apologized to Sans while fishing your phone out of your pocket.

“Hey Gabe, what’s up?” you answered your phone with a smile, covering your other ear in hopes it would make you hear better in the loud bar.

“Morrigan is asking about her mom again.” Came his voice, it sounded quieter and sadder then you had heard his voice in a long time.

The smile quickly slid from your face. “I’m on my way.”

He mumbled out some kind of goodbye response before hanging up.

“I’m sorry, I gotta go. Nice to meet you.” You said this time to the people on either side of you.

“What’s wrong?” Vincent half whispered in worry.

Pulling out the money for your meal, passing it to Vincent. “Gabriel needs me.” You said as you did, hoping he wouldn’t press further. You were doing all you could to keep yourself looking calm and polite.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk with you?” He asked hesitantly.

You answered with a look.

He sighed as he backed down. “Alrighty then, see you later.”

“Later.” You agreed. You hated the way your voice sounded so cold and stern. You leapt down from your barstool sparing Vincent and Sans one last strained smile as you pulled your jacket back on. You fled without another thought.

#undertale #undertale fanfiction #sans #sansxreader #sans x reader #sans/reader #slow burn #fluff and angst #chapter nine

[bigskydreaming]

You will never catch me saying a single positive thing about some ‘progressive move’ Marvel editorial makes in an X-Men comic until every single decision maker of the past ten years is out of those offices.

Individual writers, yes. Editorial, the ones handing down the creative mandates? Hell no.

This means Northstar and Kyle’s wedding, Bobby, Rictor and Shatterstar’s outings, Storm’s solo series, etc, etc.

Because Marvel editorial does not actually give a single fuck about any of the messages embodied by the X-Franchise, and spent the last ten years proving it.

Marvel as a company was happy to profit off the X-Men movies after they sold the rights to save themselves from bankruptcy. But from the second Iron Man became a success and the movies they churned out featuring characters they still had all the rights to started making profits they got to keep fully, they actively torpedoed the X-Men franchise both in the comics and outside of them. Because now the X-Men were technically competition, at least in the arena of movies, which is where the real money was being made.

Like, it seriously pains me to remember how HUGE X-Men fandom was in the eighties, nineties and early 2000s. Across the comics, various cartoons and the movies, X-Men was one of THE biggest fandoms, back when the fandom juggernauts of today like SPN, HP and the like were still wee baby fandoms. 

And Marvel actively, deliberately killed it. Because they didn’t want people focusing on X-Men characters and reading X-Men stories and buying X-Men action figures instead of Avengers ones. It’s why they made no effort to resolve the issues blocking Wolverine & the X-Men from getting a second season. Even though the first season got ratings that more than justified a followup that would be guaranteed to be profitable for them. And why there hasn’t been another X-Men cartoon since. Even though Marvel always held the rights to make more cartoons while Fox held the movie rights.

It’s why Marvel editorial set out to do House of M and Decimation...those storylines aimed at essentially ending the possibility of new mutant characters were created specifically to do that. They literally did not want new mutant characters that might end up being breakout hits that fans wanted more of in place of more Iron Man, Captain America or Avengers-related properties like Young Avengers. Quesada, the EIC at the time, said it was because writers were getting too lazy with their origin stories as long as they had the concept of mutants to fall back on. All they had to do with a new character was say ‘oh they’re a mutant’ instead of coming up with a unique angle for where they got their powers.

Except then Marvel turned around and reconfigured Inhumans into the new mutants, tweaking their decades old concept to make it so suddenly there was no limit to how many new Inhumans could be created, unlike the limit they’d imposed on new mutant characters. And suddenly you had dozens of new characters with electricity powers and flight and super strength and shapeshifting and who looked no different in any meaningful way from any new mutant character introduced ten, fifteen years prior...except now, all of those dozens of new characters ‘unique angle for where they got their powers’ was oh, they’re Inhumans instead of oh they’re mutants. 

And it wasn’t even like Marvel made Inhumans the new mutants because they had active, important plans to incorporate their concept into their live action universe....again, it LITERALLY was done simply to make the X-Men franchise less necessary. They pushed the Inhumans movie back year by year by year until finally scrapping it altogether, and put barely any effort into the TV show they made of it instead. The only evidence of Inhumans in the MCU is still just in Agents of SHIELD, the show they barely do any promo for and honestly don’t care all that much about. The Inhumans’ sole purpose over the past ten years has basically just been to be an alternative to mutants, should anyone want one....not even BECAUSE the MCU actually wanted one.

And then you had shitty events like Avengers vs X-Men where it was never in question that it was going to be at the X-Franchise’s expense. And in the aftermath of that, they claimed to be making a big push to incorporate the X-Men more into the Marvel universe, do stories showing that the other heroes cared about mutant issues.....all by folding the X-Men into Avengers titles. Books like Uncanny Avengers were launched, with X-Men on lineups with Avengers and calling themselves Avengers....but no new X-books were launched with Avengers in their stories. Because that was never the point. The point was that it basically got X-readers who didn’t give a shit about Avengers comics to pick up Avenger titles in order to read about Storm and Rogue and other favorites....without marketing having to acknowledge the X-brand label in any actual way. Literally just to use X-characters to sell Avengers books, without actually doing anything for the X-franchise.

Not to mention the way the X-franchise’s direction has dramatically shifted every one, two years over the past decade, with no clear oversight or shepherding of it....because it basically became the place for writers to do whatever the hell they wanted, because Marvel as a company DID NOT CARE what happened with the X-books. All the terribly thought out storylines to appear in X-titles of the last decade happened because pretty much any pet project a writer Marvel valued wanted to try out got the green light for them to do in the X-books, because they didn’t have anything they wanted out of the X-brand, other than for it to not siphon fans away from their preferred properties. So you had things going one way one year and then pull a complete 180 the next year when a hot new writer at Marvel wanted to do something completely different. 

Not to mention the way Marvel’s consistently funneled their low-selling writers into writing X-books, except for when high profile writers wanted on an X-title. The X-books became a testing ground for new and unproven writers, which occasionally did result in some good stories, yes, but I don’t really think Marvel deserves props for the efforts of those writers when they only got to do those stories because Marvel didn’t actually care. 

And the most obnoxious thing about all of this is....they were still making money off the X-Men the whole time. From their comics, from repeated viewings of their older cartoons, from toy sales, etc. The X-Men have continued to turn a profit for Marvel even as Marvel actively drove them into the ground....because as long as it wasn’t ever going to be AS MUCH profit as Marvel could make off the movies of characters they had all the rights to....they didn’t want the X-Men ever even potentially overshadowing the Avengers in current readers’ eyes.

So it honestly pains me to see Marvel given any credit whatsoever for various progressive moves they’ve made with X-characters over the past decade. Because while all companies are in it to make money and I don’t expect otherwise, I can’t think of any other occasion where I’ve so clearly watched a company spit on one of its most profitable and iconic properties and all its fans, for the crime of....making money. They literally crashed and burned the franchise with full knowledge of what they were doing, and actively drove away one of the biggest fandoms out there, turning it into a wasteland compared to what it was, because the well established success and visibility of the X-franchise and fandom was in their eyes a threat to the MCU franchise and fandom they were trying to cultivate instead.

And given that on a meta level, the X-Franchise has always appealed more than most to readers from marginalized communities because of the allegories inherent in its core concept....its honestly kinda insulting whenever I’d see mainstream headlines and news stories giving Marvel editorial kudos for a high-profile gay wedding or making a founding X-Man gay or other well-received moves over the last decade....knowing full well how little regard they actually have for the readers those moves mean so much to, given that pretty much every other decision they make around it is meant to keep the X-Franchise from overtaking the Avengers in popularity again.

Like, don’t get me wrong because Bobby Drake has been one of my three favorite superheroes of all time for most of my life, in part BECAUSE I always read him as gay or bi.....so I love love LOVE that he’s officially a mlm in canon and has gotten his own solo series. But at the same time, its obnoxious as hell to be aware that people have been speculating about his sexuality for decades and making references in canon even, and outing him only actually happened BECAUSE he’s an X-character. You notice that for all the positive praise Northstar’s wedding and Bobby’s coming out garnered Marvel, they haven’t been in any rush to make a high profile Avenger gay, have they? Like....yes, the X-franchise has always been the franchise to make social commentary in, but that doesn’t mean that’s the only reason big creative alterations like making one of the oldest Marvel characters gay was only happening in the franchise Marvel didn’t give a fuck about.

So it’ll be interesting to see what happens in the comics now that the X-Men movie rights are back with Marvel and under the Disney umbrella. And I do hope and think that means the comic books will start to get a more cohesive direction again with the X-Men taking more pivotal roles in the comics and getting higher profile treatment again.

But fuck ever giving any of the current Marvel editorial staff credit or recognition for any progressive stories in the X-books. Because they very much do not care about the concept of the X-Men or the messages the X-Franchise is capable of sending with its stories. You can’t dedicate ten years to actively minimizing the franchise that means so much to marginalized readers and still claim to actually give a crap about any of the representation that franchise provides for those readers. Like, lol, you just can’t. 

#long post